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saladejin · 4 years

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Admire | 05

Seokjin x Fem!Reader | arranged marriage!au, husband!Seokjin | Strangers to lovers, angst, self discovery, loneliness in luxury, touch starvation (eventual smut), eventual domestic fluff

Summary: You’d never needed anyone else. Growing up alone, living alone, existing alone. It all came naturally and effortlessly, quite like breathing. That was until your somewhat distant parents finally decided it was time to make good on a promise. One they’d made before you were even born.

Warnings: Some depressing and painful talk but nothing crazy, a few fluffy and domestic-ish moments for u all, and oh ... there’s only one bed? O_o

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: This is so different from what it used to be, wow. I was out here changing entire paragraphs lol, but anyway sorry if there are any mistakes! Let me know your thoughts at the end :)

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The road fell away in front of you as you scrolled mindlessly on your phone. After a round of brusque insistence on his behalf, you'd finally given in and let Seokjin convince you into relinquishing the driver's seat after a couple of hours on the road. You made sure to grumble in protest before plonking yourself down on the passenger side, him brushing you off easily.

You’d put the memory of the thoughtless kiss to the back of your mind, hoping that he’d forgotten just as swiftly. You were here to enjoy your trip, not to overthink about what had happened in the past. Thinking back on the past 24 hours, you sighed in defeat.

Let’s hope we don’t crash.

*hours earlier*

You both arrived at the meeting place after countless attempts of stuttering out the most confusing directions to the driver. At this point, you almost wanted to pass out and it was still relatively early.

Managing to greet all your aunties, uncles, and cousins as a couple of lovebirds came effortlessly enough. It was nothing but a way of life for you and Seokjin these days.

“(Y/n) you’ve grown so much. Oh, I’m going to cry!”

You tried to calm one of your more eccentric aunties while your husband stood awkwardly to the side, looking around at the gathered group of people in contemplation. Dressed casually again, he hadn’t been prepared for the sheer number of everyday individuals preparing to depart. All beside a line of large black and white motorhomes which were currently fuelling up under the shade of nearby woodland.

Once the two of you finally managed to break away from the introductions and reunions, you let out a sigh of relief. You were finally alone, sinking into the refurbished leather seats of the vehicle to regain your composure. Dealing with a horde of chipper relatives can deplete one’s energy like a starved leech if it continues for too long.

“Sorry, they’re just excited.” You laughed airily, leaning forward to switch on the air conditioner. The temperature outside was already heating up from the unforgiving sun, and you were going to positively drown in sweat if you didn’t get some cold air blasting on you lickety-split.

“They’re…lively. But it’s okay, I signed up for it anyway,” the tall man replied with a smirk of his own. He seemed amused at how quickly you'd been swamped, but he also seemed to notice how happy you were at receiving all the attention.

“The first one will probably leave soon. I’ll start driving and then if you want you can switch with me later. We won’t make it to the first stop today, but it’ll most likely end up being late tomorrow morning,” you explained while readying yourself at the wheel of the vehicle. Seokjin hummed in acknowledgement and craned his long neck backwards to ensure your bags were all safe a secure.

You admired how comfortable he looked in his simple travelling clothes. How he could pull off such a simple but effective appearance that highlighted his handsome features, such as his dusky brown eyes and midnight coloured locks of hair - hair that had grown out and gotten nicely longer, you might add - was a complete and utter mystery to you.

“By the way, we don’t have to put on as much of an act here with these people,” you began on a weirdly sombre note, trying not to look over at him for a reaction. “The whole relationship thing doesn’t matter to them as much. They won’t get suspicious or question us, so don’t stress too much about going all out, alright?”

“Okay,” came his simple reply, void of much emotion.

You didn’t know why you expected anything else, but a small part of you longed to continue pretending. You wanted to be with him, wanted to feel his hands on your skin again. It was almost too much for you to handle. You couldn’t imagine anyone else ever feeling so conflicted about their own lover, not to mention having hands on your arms of all places.

Absurd. Right?

Suddenly, the motorhome in front of you began rolling forward and you pressed down slowly on the gas pedal to follow suit. Seokjin twisted his broad shoulders back around to face the front, blinking harshly as the sunlight shone through the windscreen and hit him forcefully in the face.

Your lips quirked up in an amused smirk. What a goof.

*present*

Your eyes drooped with a heavy sleepiness as Seokjin finally pulled the truck into the site where everyone would be camping. The drive had been quite lengthy, but you’d been swapping every few hours or so until you’d become too tired to go on. Being the husband-material he was, Seokjin gladly took the burden of getting you both through the rest of the way.

“Hey wake up, everyone’s getting out for some reason.”

You blinked the sleep out of your eyes and groaned, feeling slightly more energised from your nap but still groggy. You slowly made your way down the steps and outside into the humid air, nostalgic memories finally flowing into your mind as you watched the members of your family collecting around several bright vans.

“Oh, this is the food truck stop,” you rasped out in a matter-of-factly tone, causing Seokjin to eye you in confusion. It was luckily still light enough to catch his dumbfounded expression.

“There are food trucks in this parkland area, so we can go and buy some hot-dogs or something if we want. It’s always the first dinner stop,” you tried to explain mid-yawn. The sky was blending into darkness as the sun began to set below the horizon.

“You’re so sleepy.” Seokjin snorted lowly, almost chuckling when you looked up at him through glaring watery eyes from the yawn, as if it weren’t obvious enough. He looked fairly relaxed, and you gently smiled at the sight of his beautiful eyes lighting up with wonder at the view of the campsite around him.

It was enthralling, how fascinated he was with absolutely everything. Even though the red cap sitting atop his black mop of hair cast a shadow over his face, it was still easy to spot just how eager he was to just enjoy life normally for once. To be a commoner and forget about all the pressed suits he had hanging up at home, the bucket loads of cash sitting in his bank account, the disapproving parents.

Now was the time he could finally taste the sweetness of freedom.

All of a sudden, the tall man left a tap on your shoulder and leaned in close once you faced him curiously. The stuffy fog of sleep was immediately chased away from your whirring mind, and you widened your eyes in shock when one of his hands pulled you closer, indicating what he wanted you to do with a simple touch.

Is he initiating a kiss, for once?

You reacted almost instantly to his subtle body language, everything coming naturally as you stepped in closer and raised your lips to peck his plump ones sweetly. Your whole body was buzzing with eruptions of joy, heat and surprise at the impulse; hands curling into his shirt so that you could feel the warmth of his body even more…for just a little bit longer. It was so rare for him to be bold like this.

For a single second, you forgot what your relationship truly was and felt - for the first time - what it was like to pour your heart into loving another person.

An older man cackled with his friend as they shared a beer together. “My, you young ones are just so passionate, aren’t you?” You swept some hair back behind your ear and ducked your head to hide the embarrassed flush. Or maybe you were trying to hide the stupid smile sitting on your face.

“I’ll get some food for us,” Seokjin said after another few moments of observing the place. You inwardly gaped at him as he moved towards one of the colourful food trucks, wondering if he was going to actually cover you for food.

What's gotten into him? Maybe it’s just because he’s used to putting on a performance, and that it’s such a different setting on top of that.

You shook your head to rid yourself of the fluffy feelings and jogged up to where your dark-haired partner was lining up for hot dogs.

“Do you want me to give you some cash for mine?” you asked hesitantly, gaze imploring for his attention again.

“No, go find a table to sit at,” he murmured, flicking his head upwards to point out a group of empty wooden tables nearby. You were pleasantly surprised at his motive and couldn’t help the way your jaw went slightly slack, simply stunned. Eventually, you complied and headed over towards the seats.

He'd looked so refreshed and so pleased with himself. Even with the weariness brought on by the long and tiresome journey.

The whole area was illuminated by a few atmospheric park lamps, but everyone knew that it would soon grow too dark to stay outside for much longer. Plus, you’d all need a good night’s sleep if you were going to make it to your stop tomorrow. You almost groaned again at the thought of driving so early.

“Here, I forgot to ask what drink you wanted, but you usually like bubbly stuff so I got a soft drink.”

Bit different from champagne, you surmised, but it was cute that he thought like that.

Seokjin placed a can next to where your arm was resting on the tabletop. Then, he held out a delicious looking hot dog sprinkled with fried onion rings, and you couldn’t stop the way your stomach grumbled and growled at the sight.

“I’m a starved woman, thank you.’’

He sat down and glanced around at the groups of people chatting, the strange but somehow never misplaced glimmer of interest never faltering in his eyes. On the other hand, you essentially inhaled the meal in front of you despite how weird it felt to ingest such cheap and fattening food. After months of high-class dining, it was more peculiar than one would think. Even something as unfamiliar as eating such a messy meal didn’t bother either one of you after the day you'd had.

“So, you don’t go around and talk to them much?” Seokjin questioned in a light tone of voice, picking his long and slightly curved fingers clean of any crumbs. The man was picturesque in how calm and concentrated he was. You decided that you liked that look of determination on him, even if it was for something so insignificant.

“I do, but I’m not really in the mood right now.” You sighed, resting your face into your palm so that you could ease the tension in your sore neck. You cast your gaze downwards and hoped that you wouldn’t regret your next words.

“Plus, I kind of want to spend most of my time on this trip with you.”

His eyes stared into yours from across the table, unblinking as he was thrown into one of his strange thoughtful silences.

You rushed to elaborate in a panic. “I-I … well I’ve done this trip many times and I thought it’d be nice to get to know each other a little bit more. We haven’t really asked many questions during the past few months, and I already feel so peaceful travelling together that I thought it’d be cool to just spend some time away from all the parties and shit to really relax and talk, you know?”

Cool? Did I really just say it'd be cool if we talked? Fuck you (Y/n).

You took a rickety breath and clasped both your hands together to try and hide your flustered appearance. With pursed lips and a slight cringe from the ranting accompanying your nerves, you searched his gaze with your own to try your best at reading him.

“Yeah, I know. It would make everything easier if we knew more about each other, so I don’t have to make up more lies,” he eventually spoke after clearing his throat quietly.

You thought he would’ve been more uncomfortable, or rather less than willing to take you up on the suggestion, but you were surprised yet again at his almost enthusiastic response. Was he finally letting you see past the high and sturdy walls he’d built up at the beginning of your relationship? If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was coming out of his shell a little as well, but then again it wasn’t as if you knew enough to make that observation in any kind of confidence.

Maybe he's always been more open like this to people he was close with, and you were only just beginning to see this side. Even if that was the case, it made you happy to think that he was starting to trust you enough to change the way he acted. You were content enough to be considered as something close to a friend, at least.

“It’s late. We should head in,” his familiar voice snapped you out of your rampant thoughts, causing your feelings of bewilderment to skyrocket.

I need to keep my shit together!

“Yeah, sorry for spacing out.” You laughed, trying to shrug off the mortification at failing to keep your wits about you. Maybe if he stopped being so oddly charming with his perfect lips and enigmatic eyes, you’d be able to focus a little better.

You made your way to the last motorhome in the line. Seokjin had parked it a little ways from the others, almost as if he’d sensed your need for privacy and solitude. You were somewhat introverted at the best of times, so after a whole day of socialising you really wanted nothing more than to retreat back to your own little space to recuperate.

Had he figured that out, or was it just a lucky guess? Maybe he was just the same…

You followed him into the portable house and weaved yourself around the table and sofa lounges, eventually coming to stop by the comfy looking queen bed at the very back. This was where things would get weird again. You’d never shared a bed before tonight, and the couches weren’t large enough to allow anyone space to sleep either.

“Ah, I guess we don’t have a choice. You don’t mind, do you?” you remarked reluctantly, knowing that you were more than happy to have company in your bed, but he might not feel the same.

“Well what else can I do?” He shrugged with indifference. “I would’ve taken the couch if I could’ve already.”

“Right, sorry I didn’t tell you before we left.”

You sighed, more embarrassment clouding your vision as you hurriedly searched the inside of your suitcase for a flimsy shirt. It was way too hot during the summertime to wear a full set of pyjamas, so you hoped Seokjin wouldn’t feel even more uncomfortable by your choice of clothing.

Better than being naked.

You shuddered with heat at the thought but pushed it all away quickly. This was already bad enough as it was.

“It’s fine, I honestly don’t mind if you don’t,” he grunted while beginning to unbutton his shirt. You swallowed thickly at the sight of his broad chest and collarbone slowly getting revealed the lower he went. That, paired with the way his hair had become messy and rugged after driving and running his hands through it, was a dangerous combination you were enjoying way too much.

“Well, I don’t. Never did." You smiled nervously before moving to the bathroom to get changed.

You knew that sharing a bed with him after so many months was never going to be an easy feat. It was awkward at best, with you trying your best to ignore the thoughts of him being so close - thanks to your fear of doing something unpredictable - and him having no trouble forgetting you were there altogether. It was nothing for him. Somehow, he could just sleep the night away and not think about the presence of other people constantly.

The sound of soft breathing, the occasional movement of a foot or arm, the slight rise of the duvet with every deep inhale, or even the dreamy mumbling slipping past lips every now and again. You envied the peaceful way he drifted off, knowing that living with siblings most likely allowed him to factor these things right out.

For you, they were things that kept your eyes wide open, mind running a million miles a minute.

The next morning brought you to the first town on the itinerary. The sleepless night faded away as you parked the large vehicle next to the others, legs already bouncing with excitement at the thought of finally visiting some of your old childhood pastimes.

You all spent the day traipsing through the streets while some of the older family members greeted the shopkeepers and residents heartily. You could feel your heart bursting at the sight of Seokjin looking around the place with wide eyes, obvious amazement lighting up his face as he regarded the interactions of those around him. There was a growing fondness there you never thought you’d see.

One parkland picnic later, and the two of you found yourselves mingling with the crowd. You surprisingly found it easy to talk about your married life together. Even though he was quiet and unsure of how to act, everyone loved Seokjin and found great amusement in teasing and joking around with him. Many times you had to bite your tongue to hold back a snort of laughter. The old uncles and aunties never did hold back their rowdy banter.

“I remember when I was first married, son,” your eldest cousin said and clapped a hand firmly onto Seokjin’s shoulder, “It’s always magical at first, but soon you’ll want to chew your own ear off!”

You all laughed at his sardonic humour. Everyone, even the hopeless romantics, knew that marriage was never supposed to be perfect.

“It can’t be magical the whole time?” Seokjin asked thoughtfully, the tone of his voice light-hearted but the nature of the question way too innocent for your boisterous family to bypass.

Okay, maybe not everyone knew.

You almost choked on your sandwich when the people around you burst into loud laughter, feeling sorry for your husband. He just didn’t know the group of people he was dealing with yet.

The older men clinked their beers together. “Look at this guy, he wants a life-long honeymoon phase!”

“Nah, I think he’s looking for an early grave instead.”

You furrowed your brows and yelled through a smile, “Hey! What do you take me for, a monster?”

They exchanged wide-eyed looks and chuckled again before waving you off and tousling your hair affectionately.

“Be careful or I’ll tell Aunty what you said.” You giggled, trying to fix your messy tresses.

The loud and harmless jesting continued amongst the rest of the group while you turned to see how Seokjin was going with his food. A smile curved your lips again when you spotted the slight crinkle appearing at the corners of his eyes. He was amused, and the way the beaming sunlight streamed down through the tree branches to light up his grinning face was breathtakingly perfect.

His eyes shifted to meet yours suddenly, and you were glad it didn’t cause his expression to change. His gaze, irrevocably beautiful, was so warm and lively. If you could, you would want to see him this happy for the rest of his life.

“Son,” he mouthed quietly after shifting his gaze away from your awestruck scrutiny, “I’m still waiting for my own father to call me that.”

A ruthless stab to your chest. Not only from his words, but rather the lack of emotion he expressed while speaking them.

You didn’t know the kind of relationships he’d had, or how he’d lived his life so far, but trying to find out was like trying to connect with a brick wall. This simple statement about his father had you swallowing back sympathy, and it was upsetting to think that you’d never even once thought to ask him about it.

You wanted – no, you needed him to open up to you.

Quickly sifting through one of the cute picnic baskets led you to find a bundle of sweet packaged snacks. You would do anything to wipe that distantly forlorn look off his face, and universal law stated that candy was sure-fire way to lift anyone’s spirits. You personally loved them, but it was tough to determine if his tastes would match.

“Want a jelly?”

“Wait, you mean-” he started, but cut himself off when you finally fished out a specific packet and let out a small ‘ah!’ of triumph. His eyes shone with recognition, and you became confused at his unexpected reaction.

“I haven’t had these since I was young. They were my favourite, but my mother wanted us to stop eating too many sugary things…” Seokjin revealed, his lips pulling up into a smirk as he recalled his childhood memories.

“Well, you’re on your own now, and I’m not going to stop you. So here.” You chuckled and waited until he’d grabbed a handful of jellies before popping one into your own mouth.

Seokjin shook his head with a huff. He obviously found it stupid how he’d followed the strict rules of his parents for so long, not allowing himself to rebel in the slightest. It had never been an option before, but now here he was – living in a motorhome, eating hot dogs and jellies, basically hitchhiking through old weary towns rather than having his head down working for a big-time business firm.

You watched his eyes trail over you again, almost picking up his phantom of a voice saying, “So this is the life I could have lived.”

It brought a smile to your face as you thought about the way his gaze had lit up and drank everything in with such fervour. His cold and masquerade-like world was changing, he was seeing life from a different perspective, and knowing that you’d played a part in that brought you immense joy.

It was a warm glow of happiness you’d never felt or known before.

Night fell once more. Everyone filtered away to their beds, eyes drooping and bellies full of the various baked goods of the town. It had been an amazing day, and you knew you couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to help Seokjin emerge from his shell.

He seemed to be enjoying the trip for the exact same reasons you always had. Except now, you had another.

#seokjin x reader #btsghostie #seokjin scenarios #seokjin smut #seokjin imagines #seokjin series #jin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #arranged marriage au #husband jin #bts jin #bts smut #jin angst #admire #saladejin

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leam1983 · 3 years

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On Grief

This is a long one. You're under no obligation to push further if you don't want to. It's a personal post, so I'll more than understand if this isn't to your tastes. The normally-scheduled pedantry, commentary and memes will resume shortly.

One of my relatives was diagnosed with ALS. What started as an odd case of palsy in her left set of vocal cords that could've been far more benign was just confirmed by her referred physician. It's Lou Gherig's, and with her age and current condition, her prognosis is of three to five years, tops. Sure, Stephen Hawking blew his own prognosis out of the water, but a combination of notoriety and luck enabled him to eke out as much existence as medical tech could've possibly allowed.

We knew things were suspect when my aunt, a marathoner with a monthly sub to Runner's World, stopped running. Her food intake dropped like a stone, and she soon took to increasingly simple painting and drawing styles. At first we thought it was just her wanting to explore simpler rendering techniques, but then...

Then we noticed the twitching. How awkwardly her pens and brushes were set in her hands. She was in great shape and didn't mind living in the ass-end of Sutton, basically in the open country and with a path leading up to her front door that was all in rough cobblestones. She broke a hip against them, last year.

Her speech started to slur, lately. Her last bike trip also landed her in the ER. She doesn't bike anymore. She doesn't run, and being a gourmand by nature, feels obligated to restrain herself, for fear of gaining weight. She's aggressively vegan. Not towards others, but towards herself. No meat, no eggs, nothing. Most of us ovo-lactos and omnivores in the family know her constant snacking meant her seventy-plus body is desperate for energy.

From the look of things, it feels like the diagnosis broke through her bullshit reasoning for being vegan. She wasn't vegan for the sake of limiting her carbon footprint or making more responsible choices at the grocery store, but because she, as a lifelong anorexic, thought she was ugly and needed to lose weight. That's been a constant with her. Age catches up and skin sags? She mistakes it for a love handle, cuts out virtually all sources of protein and carbs safe for tofu, seitan and bean-based preps. Of course, like a lot of anorexics, she'd have bulemic episodes. I used to sleep over at her last bachelor pad, as a teen, and I remember her pantry was loaded up for bear with Danish cookie tins, Nutella jars and whipped cream. I remember she invited me over specifically when she intended to cheat. Then it was back to yoga, pot-smoking, meditation and shopping runs - and she probably kept her purging for when I was gone.

So yeah. I'm betting Belgian Asshole (see one of my previous posts) convinced her to break her vows and went looking for a "slice of authentic Tikka Masala", to quote his email. The entire family is made up of ethnic food diehards, so we spam-flooded his inbox with recommendations. Looks like she'll be eating meat again, soon. Her own email mentioned concerns of strength and stamina, so I get it.

Otherwise? We're gobsmacked. Imagine spending an entire weekday both at work and off work, aggressively goofing off because you're trying as hard as you can not to think of your favourite aunt's mention of assisted suicide as an option.

Three to five years. Maybe one, or two good Christmases. After that, her condition should probably have started to deteriorate quickly.

I'm not close with a ton of my own family. I love them all, but it's more a sense of polite respect than anything involving solid bonds. The only two folks I know I'll be devastated for when they'll die are her, and my youngest cousin on the other side of the family.

I'm mostly okay now. No doubts, no crisis of unbelief, no anger, no rage... But then I'll see her in a more diminished state, one of those days. How am I going to take to it?

Part of me keeps a tally of the deaths in the family. First, it was my uncle on my mother's side. Ruptured abdominal artery, with a leak small enough to pool into the gut's cavity for months. Decay settled in, guy got anesthetized for an intervention...

They didn't even bother sewing him back up.

Second one was my other paternal aunt's new husband. First one was great, but left the country in the seventies to go live in Stockholm with his medical assistant. Second one was a geologist and physicist at the same campus she taught as. French guy, the son of innkeepers four generations down. It showed, too. Our Christmas tables haven't been the same since he left us his recipie books, all his corny jokes on provincial eating habits, and his obstinate focus on turning every 25th of December into a Roman orgy probably befitting of the old Saturnalia traditions. I mean, when's the last time you've had an eight-course meal, outside of Thanksgiving?

Tumors in his mesenteric artery lined the blood vessel's inner walls, deposited virtually everywhere in his body. He was diagnosed in June and dead by August. He'd always been the lanky type, bone-thin even if he hoovered food like he'd never have enough. He looked even thinner in his hospital bed.

Then, my maternal grandpa bit it. Decades of casual alcoholism, cirrhosis more or less jumping on him around his seventy-sixth year. He looked a bit like John Keston, the actor who played Gehn in CyanWorlds' Riven. Same hairline, same hawkish nose, same eyes - just more Cajun and less New England-esque. I don't know if it was youth or stupidity or - anything, really, but I dropped by to see him, just two days before he died. I didn't realize he was tallying my life, asking me if I had everything in order, if things were planned.

Now, I understand.

Next one on the chopping block is Aunt Doris, still on Mom's side. She of the serial mooching, she of the concept of not needing much to get by if you were the cute one of the family. She was pretty enough in her prime, sure - if by pretty you meant "cigarette-butt blonde with a discount Farah Fawcett blow-up and an unfinished High School degree". First husband was an abusive ass who gave her an uncommonly sensitive son, second one figured she'd stick to the minimum-wage circuit while he tore out rotator cuffs or busted his C7 while on his outboard like clockwork. By the end, she roped my grandmother into living with her, spent her days sloppy-drunk and died on her ratty couch while falling asleep and choking on her own vomit.

Before them all, the youngest of my uncles died at age two. Cancer. Never knew which one, was told it didn't matter. You didn't survive much of anything cancerous, back in the late fifties.

Ping-pong this back to three years ago, and my oldest paternal uncle dies. Paul, who smoked like a chimney for most of his life and successfully stopped after discovering Champix. He got to live five great years as the high-IQ oddball he'd always been, smoke-free. Paul was the weird bird in the family, the type to remember a really engrossing story at two in the morning and making a note to call you up first thing in the morning to share it. He always had a project of some sort to work on, like a simulated investors' tank for young entrepreneurs looking to learn the ropes, or a Byzantine arrangement of coaxials allowing four of his lakeside neighbours to pirate his cable sub. He'd invite us over for dinner, gather all the ingredients we'd need for whatever it was he wanted to treat us to - and then he'd let us cook it - just sitting by the sidelines, chatting away.

He was also a bit of a narcoleptic, and looked a bit like William Howard Taft if you'd worked him out of these old sack suits and into modern shirts and suspenders. He fell asleep practically everywhere, with his more wakeful environments being his workshop and his property's dock. He took me out fishing, once, and knew what the entire family expected.

"Oars're here, Gremlin, fish're that way. Wake me up when you've got a bite."

At this point, it wasn't even a point of concern; it was just an Uncle Paul Thing, the exact thing you'd have expected out of this kind, eccentric blob of a man whose idea of fishing involved pushing his hat over his eyes and basically all but ensuring that his roaring snores would scare prey away. He'd been a supposedly high-IQ type, terminally bored with almost everything, only really getting agitated and interested back when I asked him for help for my Junior High Computer class's Javascript calculator. Once the syntax hit something familiar and he realized that JS has some similarities with FORTRAN, he was on a roll, acting like someone had snuck a Red Bull in his coffee.

Well, fibrosis caught up with him. His last hours were spent directing us on how to cook what would've been his last meal. I think he really just wanted to know we were alright, that we still could exchange laughs around the kitchen counter. He clocked out the way he always did, except he had an oxygen tube running under his nose. His head bobbed down, he snored loudly for a few minutes, then turned increasingly quiet...

And that was it.

And now there's Isabelle. The marathoner, my partner-in-crime when it comes to professing to have a healthy diet while occasionally cheating in glorious, weekend-defining means, my gateway to cannabis and also the first person who took my cringy self-insert fanfic fodder and went No, that's worth it! Push it, develop that universe of yours!

I wouldn't be almost two-thirds of the way through my first decent manuscript, if not for her, and I wouldn't be shopping for publishers with the same energy you'd reserve for weekend-grade Facebook putzing-about. I owe her part of my self-acceptance, and part of my discovery of what defines my routine to this day. Isabelle was my first meditation coach.

And in three to five years, she might be gone.

I just thought grief might be... noisier, is all. Louder. Right now, it's just germane to confusion, and it's sitting there. There's a pinch of fear in it, too. My parents are in their mid-sixties. How long do I have left with them?!

And the family and I just covered that up with jokes and, well, cooking. I've been told I'd make a half-decent therapist but - navigating your own emotions is hard work...

I don't know. I guess I needed to put this down somewhere.

#personal life #tw: cancer mention #tw: alcoholism mention #tw: death mentions #grief #coping

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shinobirain24 · 3 years

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Water and Ice- Chapter 6: Let me Protect You

Back in Beacon, I have met a boy, then everything dawned on me. He may not have remembered me when we first met in Poseidon Island. The land of seas. There, he has eyes, blue as the deep ocean. Blue hair as bright as the morning sky. The moment I held his hand when we gazed at the meteorites, I can feel the warmth through his aura. Such a funny and cocky personality. What I feel fond of him for is that he never asked for my name, nor did he came after me for my status as an heiress. I have one desire, and one thing only. To let him know how I feel for him. But how can I if I am not the right person he can choose? But now, all I saw was a struggling soul beneath his own cockiness. I knew he lost someone important to him. All I want to do now is to stay by his side, until the very end. But will he feel the same for me? After my sister is about to go after him? For what his brother has done? Either to help Winter catch Neptune, or to help him escape and find his brother? I love my sister, but I cannot let her bring him to justice. I think he's already suffered enough as it is. Neptune, I know you asked me not to follow you. But please give me a sign you're still around the island. I don't want you to die. Let me be there for you. Weiss is sitting in front of a firepit to warm herself up for the night.

Her thoughts began to roam in her mind. Now that her sister deemed the man she holds dear as a suspect. First he teamed up with her to find the answers about the Thunderbolts. After the lies Winter spread in the news. Meant to lure the Thunderbolts. Winter had been there for her when their mother couldn't. Defended her from their father. But when she left for Atlas Academy, Weiss has never felt lonelier in her life. She cannot meet eye-to-eye with either of her family members. Until she went to Beacon Academy to get away from it all. There she met Ruby Rose, Blake Belladonna, and Yang Xiao Long. They became a team and the best of friends any girl can ask for. Standing by them to fight for freedom and peace.

Currently, her younger brother is working things out with their mother after she put their father in jail. Starting little by little to his recovery from what their father have put them all through. Still, the siblings are still not yet in speaking terms. Now that her elder sister is clenching to her duties as a general. Weiss cannot seem to bring herself to talk to her due to their differences.

Still, she does not want her to arrest the man who melted her frozen heart. Then the thoughts went on, tears stream from her eyes. She left her team to recuperate from the events; the Fall of Beacon, Battle in Haven, and Atlas. Who will she choose, Winter, or Neptune? She cried herself to sleep. Chills blew on her spine. But it didn't matter to her.

"Hey Schnee, wake up." She is then shaken awake when somebody is talking to her. Her eyes fluttered when she felt like someone is placing a hand on her shoulder. She roses up from the log she used as a pillow and rubbed her eyes. Hoping it was Neptune. Her vision went blurry at first. But when she blinked, she sees Drey. "Looks like the snowflake awakens."

"Oh no, not you." Weiss gasped. Hastily drawing her Myrtenaster and leapt backwards. But Drey raised his hand in defense, showing that he surrenders for a moment. "I'm not here to harm you." He assured her. But Weiss did not seem to believe him. But puts away her blade to hear his side of the story.

"Cut the act, Brandwood. I already know you and Rick are spying on us." She snarled.

"I came here to warn you. I saw you with Neptune earlier, and it looks like you're the only person he can trust."

"Why are you telling me this? What does that have to do with him?"

"What I'm saying is that you need to get Neptune off this island right now. Ricks' going to hunt him down and kill him to end his bloodline." Weiss eyes widened when she heard this. Another person hunting him down. But why would an enemy like Drey warn her? Then she has a theory that he has a soft spot. Not willing to do what Rick says.

"But why would you follow Rick? For all I know, you and him attempted to torment Neptune. And what do you mean ending his bloodline?" Drey turns around before he could spoke a word. He sighed to brace himself for the revelation.

"I cannot give you the full details about Neptune. But I can tell you this. I only followed Rick because not only he's my best friend. But he's also my cousin. My mother and his father are siblings. When we were young, he used to stood up for me. We make trouble together. I wasn't willing to do anything bad to the guy. But I go along with it because I owe everything to him. But as we got older, he changed. I don't know what he has against Vasilias, but it started when my uncle got killed in a cruising accident. The same day his brother, Jupiter Vasilias, disappeared along with his huntsmen team. After his semblance was unlocked, it's like his eyes are burning with pure hatred. And he blamed him for a reason." Drey explained, feeling ashamed to ever be related to the arrogant huntsman.

"Why didn't you report him when things got this bad? Why not giving him the help he needed?" Weiss glared. Wishing that he would've done it sooner.

"It would mean losing the best and only friend I ever had. He'll hate me for it." Drey responded in sadness. The he turns back to her. "I have to go, or Rick will find out. Get Vasilias off the island while you still have the chance. I'll try to stall him while you're at it." He begged. Leaving Weiss in desperation to save Neptune from the would-be assailant. Drey puts out the fire to not leave any traces that would led his cousin to kill his rivals. Weiss begins to understood the fact that being close to a family member would mean a sever bond, between parents, siblings, and cousins. And she and Drey are one of those people who're not willing to betray their loved ones.

Sorry Rick, but I can't let you do this. What else can I do to have you let this hatred go? He thought. Staring at the former heiress as she runs. Pulling out her Myrtenaster once again.

The next morning, Weiss keeps rushing through the island. Everywhere around is all too quiet. Since the other huntsmen and huntresses are petrified and taken to the Atlas Hospital for recovery. Neptune, where are you? Please. She thought pleading to herself for his safety. "Neptune, where are you!" She shouts. Needing the response. But all she hears is nothing but silence. To the point that Neptune has already decided not to involve anyone he cared about because of his reasons of searching for his brother. But this got Weiss thinking if Jupiter is truly a Thunderbolt. Why was Neptune blaming himself for his vanishing? It could've been an accident, at least not on purpose. She then questions herself about his bloodlines. And why would Rick wanted to end it? Could it be that there is a connection between Rick's father and Jupiter. As they both got caught on the accident on the same night. Nevertheless, she has to convince him to let her help him connect the dots.

Meanwhile, Neptune is back into the Colosseum, where he was still trying to touch the water before he can look further for his brother. Until he heard footsteps. He could tell somebody is following him. "I know you're out there. Come out." He said coldly, Weiss didn't hesitate to come out for his sake. "I've been looking for you, Neptune!" He looked up to the upper right corner to see Weiss standing on the pillar. She then jumps off and lands in a perfect form.

"What are you doing here? I told you to go back to Atlas." Weiss ignored this and shook her head in response.

"Never mind that, Neptune. We need to get off the island immediately." He turned away again.

"I can't, I have to find..."

"I know. I could already see how you felt. But you need to listen. Rick Argo is coming to kill you if we don't escape."

"Fine by me. I can take care of him myself."

"You're never going to stand much against him. Drey have me fully aware of how dangerous he is. You should know that there is a reason he has a grudge against you. And he won't stop."

"You can leave if you want to, Weiss. I'll take him down by myself." He shot a cold glare at her. Acting tough for a man with aquaphobia. Weiss isn't having it, so she has to take drastic matters. "If you won't listen to me, then you left me no choice." She then spun her revolver on her Myrtenaster. Summoning a platform to form earth objects from the ground underneath Neptune. But he jumps backward and lands near the walls. And Weiss stikes lunging. Neptune avoids her again by flipping back into the air.

"I guess there's no other way to convince you, huh? You know the strength of my glyphs!" Weiss gave him one final warning. "Don't you understand? I don't want you to die, Neptune!"

"Oh, yeah?! Try me, Snow Angel!" He called her by that nickname. But with no effect. Despite that his weapon is at a disadvantage, it's still enough for defense. Blocking her slashes.

Weiss has the upper hand by summoning her Armored Gigas. The projection then swung its sword at Neptune. But he transform his guandano into a trident in his Tri-hard. Stab it on the back of its head and making a huge electric barrier to make it dissipate. He then lands on the water. Which he wasn't aware of, since he's too busy fighting.

Weiss landed there to collide her blade with his spear. "I'm tired of fighting with you already, just give it up!" She said.

"I have to find Jupiter one way or another. I am not afraid of death! Now get out of the way!" He pushes back.

"No!" But she also pushed back holding him on the position. "That's enough!" Neptune didn't realized that the water is reacting to his body for defense. Catching her off guard, and pushes it at Weiss, knocking her to another pillar. "Ahh!" She screamed. He then realized what he has done, and rushes towards Weiss to see if she's okay. "Weiss...Weiss!" He held her into his arms. She felt her head hurt for seconds before regaining consciousness. Opening her eyes and gazed at him sadly.

"I'm sorry for being so selfish, Neptune. After Beacon, and Haven fell, anybody we knew and cared about has either lost their minds, or their lives. The truth is, I don't want to lose you." Weiss does not hesitate to cry onto his shoulder. Neptune felt guilty for hurting her, and not letting her help him when he needed it.

"Oh, Weiss." Neptune said softly. Wrapping his arms around her to console Weiss. He has no idea what she has been through over her journeys. How traumatic those experiences must be. "Neptune." She sobbed. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for. If anyone's apologizing, it should be me. I am an idiot, okay? I don't like to let anybody get hurt or killed because of me. I should've told you this a long time ago. I wasn't honest with myself." He felt her body shaking from all the sobbing, still in fear that he could get hurt. He never saw her cry before. Weiss has been very composed and more focus, sometimes bossy, she has yet to show any emotion towards him. But this time, she did.

Weiss looked up at him. He wiped the tear from her left cheek. Calming her down. To assure that he'll be fine. He lifts her up and asks her, "Why don't we get back to Argus and take a break?" Much to her relief. She nods. He held her hand to lead her back to the bay and waited for the ferry to come. Weiss looked back at the island, worried what might come to Drey since he warned her of his cousin's insanity. Then she and Neptune boards the ferry and went back to Argus.

#iceberg rwby #Icy Seas #neptune vasilias #weiss schnee #Arctic Ocean

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collecting-stories · 5 years

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Halloween - Georgia Spin-off

A/N: This takes place a few years in the future. Savannah is thirteen. I just wanted to do something nice for you guys and I know some of you had mentioned some ideas of what you wanted to see for them in the future.

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“Dad hurry up!” Savannah shouted down the hallway of the small apartment. Two bedrooms above the Pharmacy felt like plenty of space when you’d first moved in but Savannah was thirteen now and it was beginning to feel cramped. When there was no reply from the bedroom she huffed and turned back to the couch, smiling, “are you excited? Can you say trick or treat?”

The almost 18 month old sitting on the couch, dressed as a deer (as per Savannah’s request) smiled before attempting to repeat her. After struggling on the T for a minute he produced a shaky “tricker,” and dissolved into laughter.

“Yer gonna scare ‘im with that get-up.” Daryl admonished, finally coming into the room. He was pulling his vest and jacket on as you emerged from the bedroom behind him.

Savannah sneered at her dad and faked a laugh, “your not funny.” She’d been moody all week and when she wasn’t she was neurotically trying to coordinate Halloween costumes.

“Hear that,” Daryl asked, scooping the baby up into his arms, “I ain’t funny Wyatt.”

“Dad!” Savannah whined, looking passed him to you, “mom, make him stop.”

“No luck Anna. Come on, grab your backpack and we’ll go out to the truck.” You suggested, waving to the empty backpack she had designated for her trick-or-treat bag. She was a zombie and she’d managed to convince Daryl to do the zombie makeup on her after you had deemed the task ‘too complicated’ for your basic knowledge of anything more complicated than a lipstick application. You were into your early thirties and you still hadn’t mastered a smokey eye, there was no way you were capable of making your kid look like she’d risen from the dead.

Daryl had been helpful but also not. He did the makeup that she wanted, even spent hours sitting with her watching youtube makeup tutorials to try and perfect the craft. He’d gotten the gore pretty spot on too, she definitely looked like she was a rotting corpse. When she’d requested that Wyatt be dressed as a deer that she post-dead took a bite out of Daryl had complied with that too. But his first reaction had nearly derailed the entire operation because they had a enjoyed nothing more than teasing each other and with her current moodiness she was unappreciative when he told her that “ya look enough like a zombie in the mornin’ don’t need special makeup.”

“Carl’s being Indiana Jones and Sophia said she’s being cheerleader.” Savannah commented, leaning forward so she could talk to you better as Daryl drove over to Rick’s house. The neighborhood was better for trick or treating than the main street and the three kids had been going together since you moved back to King County. “Plus Judith is coming this year because Lori’s working and so’s Shane. And Patrick’s mom is finally letting him out to trick or treat but she said as long as he doesn’t bring home too much candy so he said we could have half of everything he gets...”

The current events update from Savannah continued the entire way to Rick’s house and only stopped so she could jump out of the truck and see Merle, who was standing on the front lawn with Carol. She’d giddily talked about the possibility of her and Sophia becoming cousins for the last two years though nothing had happened yet.

“Think we could pull back out while she ain’t lookin’?” Daryl asked, his hand squeezing your knee.

“You forget there’s two of them now...what would we do with Wyatt?” You replied, kissing his cheek and looking at your son through the rearview. He was the spitting image of Daryl’s baby pictures and shockingly well behaved almost always.

“Damn, guess we’re staying,” He put the truck in park and got out, unbuckling Wyatt from his car seat and carrying the baby over to see Merle and Carol. No one had been more excited, or more terrified, than Daryl when you’d told him that you were expecting. And the fear only mounted when he found out it was a boy.

After a weekend hunting alone though he’d come home with a renewed optimism about the whole situation. He loved Savannah and he knew he was a good dad, he wasn’t so shy about it anymore. Getting to be there for everything this time would be different and had been different but he lost the fear of it pretty quickly. You’d been through it before and you’d get him through whatever parts he was unsure of. Like always.

“I think you’re supposed to make baby costumes cute,” Carol teased, kissing Daryl on the cheek and taking Wyatt from him. Being the newest baby of the group, everyone got pretty excited whenever opportunity arose to coddle Wyatt.

“I only follow directions.”

“He’s supposed to my dinner.” Savannah cut in, leaning back against her dad and smiling up at him, “dad made me a zombie and Wy’s the deer I snacked on.”

“Certainly did a good job.” Rick commented, coming down the porch steps.

“Uncle Rick!”

The group felt like it was multiplying every year. It’d started with you and Michonne taking Carl, Savannah, Sophia, and Andre around the neighborhood but over the few short years since it started you had added on to the group. This year you had Carl, Savannah, Andre, Judith, Sophia, Hershel, Wyatt, and Carl’s friend Patrick. Enough for a soccer team maybe if they were all the same age. Rick and Daryl still stayed behind, using the claim that someone had to hand out candy though you were sure the only person actually doing that would be Carol. The guys, Glen included this year, would be doing the same thing they always were, sitting around drinking on the porch.

“Why am I always designated trick or treater?” You asked, securing Wyatt in the stroller with RJ.

“Ya want me ta take ‘em?” Daryl offered. He was holding the handle on the stroller, keeping it steady, though his eyes were on you. Admiring the view of his fiancée, even if you were just squatting on the ground to buckle Wyatt in.

“No,” you stood and came around to kiss him quickly, “I just like hearing you offer to.”

Daryl frowned and you smiled when his nose twitched a little, confused was your favorite version of him.

“I don’t wanna let you in on the secret but I probably should,” you teased, “most guys don’t offer to take care of their kids quite so quickly when they could be relaxing with a beer.”

He shrugged in return, “ain’t tryin’ ta be my old man.”

“God I love you. Let’s both ditch the kids and go back home.” You teased, kissing him.

“You two are gonna have another baby before Wyatt’s three.” Michonne called, walking up to the two of you. She had Judith in her arms.

The hurdle of Lori calling Rick that afternoon to ask if Judith could accompany her brother trick or treating had not been as daunting as Lori thought it would. All bad blood aside, Judith was Carl’s sister and Rick wanted him to love her as much as he loved Andre and any future child he and Michonne might have. So he had been welcoming to the toddler spending the evening with them and Michonne had been doting, Judith was sweet and Michonne was enjoying having a girl in the house.

“God she looks like Shane.” You laughed, taking Judith, “Hi Judy, are you excited to trick or treat?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“I like your costume.”

“I’m a princess.”

“I’ll say,” You twisted with her in your arms so she was facing Daryl, “look, doesn’t he have a scary costume.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled, nudging your shoulder.

Judith laughed and buried her face in your neck, shy all of a sudden. “See, she agrees.”

“Mom! We’re ready!” Savannah shouted, running down the steps with Carl, Patrick, and Sophia.

Merle left for work and Carol headed back to the motel for the evening while you, Michonne, and Maggie walked the kids around the neighborhood. Savannah took the role of big sister very seriously, as she had since the moment you announced that you were expecting again. She took turns pushing the stroller and, on a few occasions, brought Wyatt up with her to the door so people could see their coordinating costumes.

“Any Thanksgiving plans?” Maggie asked as you walked further through the neighborhood.

“Deanna invited us up to D.C. for the holiday and we’ve been thinking about going. It’s been since August that Savannah saw Gracie and I know they miss each other. Plus her and Sophia have been talking about going around D.C. together.” You replied.

“That’d be nice, I’m sure Deanna is excited to see Wyatt and Savannah.”

“Oh god yes, she loves them. And Aiden’s girlfriend is due in a couple weeks so she’s even more excited, she keeps talking about having all three grandkids in the house together.” You replied, “I won’t be surprised if she takes them all to sears for a picture.”

After trick or treating and pizza at Rick’s house you headed home, happy that the weekend was tomorrow and you didn’t have to get up early for work. Savannah was still wired from the excitement of the night though Wyatt had passed out in the truck on the way home. You volunteered to put him to sleep, leaving Daryl and Savannah at the kitchen table sorting through candy.

“Do you want the snickers? I don’t like them.” She noted, dum-dum bobbing in her mouth as she spoke.

“Nah, ya can bring it tomorrow though, see if Axel wants it.” He mentioned. Savannah was coming with him to the garage in the morning while you took Wyatt to the doctor’s. All his protesting that you never spend time at the garage when you were younger was for null, it was nearly every other day you were dropping in or Savannah was coming over after school. Axel, Tiny, and Dale loved the girl too and Axel told her some ridiculous stories.

“Okay.” She scooted off the kitchen table and wrapped her arms around Daryl, hugging him tightly, “thanks for doing my makeup, everybody said it was so cool.”

“No problem.” He shrugged, hugging her back. “Glad it turned out.”

“It was awesome.” Savannah pulled away, sitting down in a chair as you came back into the room and swiped a jolly rancher off the table.

You sat down in Daryl’s lap, smiling as his hand went around your waist. “Did you tell dad about the lady with the coffin?”

“Oh my god! You’ll never believe it...”

Hope you guys enjoyed this.

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#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon au #georgia series #gorgeous series #the walking dead fanfiction #The Walking Dead AU #the walking dead imagine #twd fanfiction #twd au #twd imagine

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teamhook · 5 years

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A Chapter a Day... Savage Heart CS AU

Hello my lovelies! First, sorry about the double post yesterday. Had some issues with Tumblr. Sorry, I’m running late today.

Yes, a chapter a day.

This story will be finished by the end of the month. :)

A love story between a pirate and his savior. An innocent, beautiful, selfless woman meets a man with no manners, no formal education and not even a last name. Will Emma fall in love with Killian once she discovers that beneath his tough exterior lies a heart-wild, but a heart of gold? This is a Captain Swan AU

Beta-ed by the wonderful @ilovemesomekillianjones

|AO3| |FFN| previous chapter

|AO3| |FFN| current chapter

Chapter 7: First Meetings and Secret Meetings

Milah wakes early and gets dressed before August wakes and has a chance to question her. She is so excited to see Killian. She smiles to herself and doesn't realize she is not alone until it is too late.

"Where are you heading so early cousin?" Emma asks.

Milah turns to look at her cousin and answers with a taunting comment, "Oh Emma, I didn't realize you were still here. I assumed that you had already returned to the safety of the convent." Milah continues, "I thought you were only checking in on Aunt Snow and would have left as soon as possible. I just assumed that spending too much time here would be somewhat uncomfortable for you. I'm only looking out for your wellbeing."

"I'm doing just great, you don't have to worry about me. I'm just not used to seeing you awake so early. You, dear cousin, have never been an early riser." Emma smiles as she answers and tilts her head to the side as she observes Milah. She can tell she is nervous. Why is she so nervous?

"I was just heading out; I wanted to go check on the house to make sure everything is running smoothly since Aunt Snow is currently staying here." Milah tries to sound convincing and fails miserably even to her own ears.

Emma smiles sweetly. "I see. To answer one of your questions, you are correct. That was the original plan, a quick visit. Unfortunately, your mother-in-law Cora insisted I stayed longer to help lighten my mother's spirits because she is worried about her, and how can I refuse such an invitation?" Emma takes a breath and adds, "I apologize, dear cousin if that is not an acceptable situation for you. I don't know why you would think I would feel uncomfortable?"

"I thought you wouldn't want to be here seeing as you were trained by my mother-in-law to be the perfect wife for her son. Isn't it extremely hot wearing that awful nun's habit? I suppose you have to get used to it. I better go, I don't want to be gone that long. Could you please let August know? I did not want to wake him, he looked so peaceful in his sleep."

Emma nods and waits for Milah to leave the room, then rises quickly to follow Milah. She doesn't want to lose her. Soon they reach the beach and what appears to be a little cabin. Emma wonders what business her cousin has at this place.

She had made sure to keep a good distance while she followed Milah. She looks around to make sure no one had noticed her as she approaches the slightly open window and strains her ears to listen to the conversation inside.

Milah walks into Killian's cabin as if she owns the place. Killian just stares at her, she looks beautiful. He had sent Smee away earlier to do some errands and arrange a meeting with Archie. He also wanted to ensure some privacy if Milah was to make an appearance.

"Killian I have missed you so much; I truly thought I would never see you again..." Milah begins.

"Oh love; I can see how broken-hearted you were about my absence. To prove your devotion the first thing you do is marry the bloke with the biggest wallet that offers to make you his wife?" Killian yells at her. "You promised yourself in marriage to me and you broke your promise and for that, you will pay, I will tell your husband how many times I had you in my bed and how each time you begged for more."

Milah looks at him with wide eyes trying to think of a way to calm him.

"I married him to save my family Killian, I had already lost all hope of happiness with you and that is the only reason I accepted the proposal. You have to know what marrying into his family could mean to anyone. The advantages it offers. So when my frigid cousin lost the opportunity and I was offered the chance I had to take it." Milah hates the way he is looking at her.

Killian had always looked at her with such love and admiration. She was used to being second choice. She knew her aunt and uncle loved her, but Emma would always come first. Killian was hers alone and she didn't have to share him.

"How exactly did the opportunity present itself? And before you answer, I know how that mind of yours works and what it holds value to. Make sure you are telling the truth."

"I bumped into August during my stay in Port Royal before I met you and he took a liking to me right away. I knew who he was and to be honest I didn't care. I hold no true loyalty to my cousin. I thought if he chose me I would be getting the life I deserve, and at the same time, I could take something my cousin loved. It would have been a double win for me. If you knew my cousin you would understand. The poor thing wouldn't know what to do to captivate and maintain any man's attention even if her life depended on it. To be honest, I didn't have to do much. I just wanted something that was meant to be hers because she has had it all. I had no idea I had been successful until after you left for your deal."

"Oh, lass do not even try to lie. I know you well enough to know you must have worked extra hard to charm him into picking you. You, my dear, do not like to leave anything to chance. After all, you came looking for me."

Emma stands dumbfounded listening to the conversation that starts to fade as her worst fears are confirmed. She had noticed that some of Milah's comments seemed to show she enjoyed flaunting her marriage in Emma's face. She likes hurting her. Milah had set out to get August's attention. Not only that but she seems to have had some sort of dalliance with the man she was meeting secretly.

It hurts so much, she had loved Milah like a sister and now she is finding out how little Milah cared for her in return. The resentment her cousin felt for her was so great. Tears start to fall. Emma refocuses on the conversation inside, sniffling quietly

"Killian we can make this work. For a while, we would need to meet in secret and see each other whenever it is possible and enjoy our time together thoroughly. We can enjoy our time together while my dear husband regales me with jewelry and riches and one day soon, we take it all and escape." Milah approaches him and reaches out to touch him.

Killian ponders her offer. His first thought had been to steal her away, but that is too simple for the offense. Then he'd just wanted to make August pay with his life for taking his love away. But now he wants to humiliate him, he has taken what was Killian's. He wants for the great August Booth to be ridiculed. He smiles at Milah and answers. "I accept your offer, but know this, if you try to double-cross me in any way, I will make you pay dearly. You'd better leave now, I have an important meeting to attend."

"Oh, I thought we might have time for a little reconnecting."

"I'm afraid this meeting is something I cannot postpone," Killian said.

"When will I see you then? You are not going to meet with another woman are you?" Milah asks angrily.

"Jealous, love?" Killian asks with a smirk. "To answer your question, I'm meeting with an old friend. Now go!"

Milah storms out of the small cabin to make her way home.

Emma stays hidden contemplating what to do with this newfound information. Suddenly someone grabs her. She turns to look at the culprit. He towers over her, dark hair and a nicely trimmed beard. He's dressed in all black, but what captivates her are his brilliant blue eyes.

Killian had seen a flash of blonde hair and at first, he'd thought was that it was Tink. He wanted to make sure she had not listened in to his conversation with Milah. He studies the woman in front of him carefully. She is beautiful and wearing a nun's habit. He realizes who she must be... Milah's cousin, Emma. He is about to question her when she beats him to it.

"How is it you know my cousin?"

Killian answers, "Oh lass, I know your cousin," Killian pauses, licks his lips and takes a step closer, invading her space, he leans over as he finishes his answer, "intimately."

Emma takes a step back. "Why would my cousin want anything to do with a dirty, filthy pirate like you?" She stands her ground and waits for an answer.

Killian laughs and responds. "Oh darling, I assure you I bathe quite frequently, but if you would like to ensure my cleanliness, I would gladly oblige." Killian winks at her and smirks. He can tell she is uncomfortable with the conversation.

"How dare you speak to me in that manner? You are disgusting!" Emma says and continues, "How long have you known my cousin?"

"That is not your concern. I am curious, what did you overhear? Even for a lowlife like me, eavesdropping is not good form."

"I don't owe you an explanation, but since I was raised with manners I will, I was simply walking by and saw my cousin leaving your home. I too was curious. If I had heard any part of your conversation, I would not be asking you, would I?"

"Oh darling, you are feisty, not at all like your cousin described you. She truly did not do you justice. I have never seen a more beautiful nun in my life. Even with that dreadful habit you are wearing, you are simply alluring." Killian wants to distract her and continues to rake his eyes over her form.

Emma just looks at him and says firmly, "Stay away from my family. I don't care what you think you shared with my cousin in the past. She is married now, so for once in your life try doing something honorable."

Emma walks past him and does not look back.

Killian watches her walk away. Too bad he's not an honorable man, he is nothing but a selfish pirate.

He needs to tell Milah that her cousin knows about their dalliance and most likely has an idea about the plans they wish to set into motion. He had been surprised by the way Emma talked to him. Milah had described a pushover. He'd assumed she was someone who he could easily intimidate into submission. When she didn't back down during their conversation, he knew he was terribly wrong. They were going to need to be more careful in the future. The good news is that she couldn't really cause trouble if she was hidden away at the convent.

Now all he needs is Archie to reintroduce him to August and he will have direct access to Milah. He knows his reputation could possibly be a problem, but he will use their friendship, albeit brief, as an opening to get close to him and secure the steward position that has been vacant for a while.

@hookedonapirate @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked @profdanglaisstuff @let-it-raines @revanmeetra87 @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @kymbersmith-90 @branlovestowrite @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @ilovemesomekillianjones @thisonesatellite @thesschesthair @winterbythesea @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @artistic-writer @thislassishooked @shardminds @winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx @ultraluckycatnd @gingerchangeling @laschatzi @wellhellotragic @xemmaloveskillianx @courtorderedcake @pirateherokillian @optomisticgirl @darkcolinodonorgasm @sherlockianwhovian @andiirivera @djlbg @nikkiemms @jennjenn615 @scientificapricot @officerrogers @imlaxdris71 @therealstartraveller776

#Captain Swan #cs ff #CS Crew #CS Mafia #teamhook SavageHeart

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ansheofthevalley · 5 years

Text

Till The Sun Grows Cold And The Stars Grow Old - Chapter 7: Why Does It Hurt So Much? [Part 1]

Summary: Sansa is finding taking care of her loved ones more difficult than she anticipated. It seems as though the games of King's Landing have followed its players to Winterfell. But how much can one hide within its walls? And for how long?

But that's not all that worries her. Words prove to be incredibly powerful: an enemy trying to get to her; a family discussion; a confession made late at night... But there's also a soft gaze and a touch that set her skin aflame.

Why does it all hurt so much?

"Lord Varys, I didn't expect you to see you so soon" Sansa said to the Spider, remembering the conversation she had with him the previous day, before she and her family told the Lords and Ladies of their current situation. And of Jon's parents, the voice in her head added. How Jon wasn't her brother but her cousin, the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and her aunt Lyanna. She tried her best to keep her emotions at bay, the thought of Jon out of her head.

"Well, I'm afraid, my Lady, we weren't able to finish our conversation" Varys declared, bowing his head just a little.

"I think we did" she offered. She could remember how he was trying to convince her on making her union to Tyrion Lannister "official". “You were very clear on your stance, Lord Varys, and I like to believe I was very clear on mine. I think there's nothing left to discuss".

"Forgive me, Lady Sansa, but I'm afraid it's not our last conversation that brought me here today".

"Then what is it that brought you here today, Lord Varys?"

"Your family. And the future of Westeros"

Sansa felt worry starting to take root in the pit of her stomach. Nothing good can come out of people trying to play with her family as if they were mere pieces of Cyvasse.

“Please, sit”. Ever the courteous lady. “And what is it exactly what my family can do for the future of Westeros, Lord Varys?”

He dedicated her a sweet little smile. Innocent even. There’s nothing innocent about this man, the voice in her head reminds her. “Your House is one of the few Great Houses that’s still standing. As you know, House Tyrell and House Martell no longer exist. So, you can understand the importance of connections, Lady Sansa”.

“Of course, Lord Varys. I assume you’re hinting at my House’s connection to the Vale and the Riverlands. Am I right?” she pointed out. Sansa knows that House Stark is vital for the future of Westeros. After the execution of Littlefinger, the Houses of the Vale reaffirmed their support of House Stark and Northern Independence. And now that House Frey was extinct, her uncle Edmure could retake his position as Lord of Riverrun. The three kingdoms make more than half of Westeros.

“You are correct, my Lady. From all of the people of this country, your family is the most well-connected” he agreed. “Which is why you understand why I think it would be beneficial, to everyone involved, to join Houses in good faith”.

Sansa sighed. Not again, she thought. She wouldn’t let it happen again. I’m not some plaything that can go from man to man so I can appease people, she thought, bitterly. Good faith be damned.

“Lord Varys, I’m afraid you’re losing your time, as well as making me lose mine. I’ve already told you, I have no intention-“

“Just think about it, Lady Sansa” he begged her. “What better way to heal the realm than to unite two Houses that were once enemies, but now can rebuild Westeros”. His voice was hopeful. He truly believed there was a chance she’d agree to it. “You are a highborn Lady, with a great mind for politics. Tyrion is a clever man, one that made it his main goal to restore Westeros to its peaceful days. Think of the thing you could accomplish together: the greatest minds of Westeros, united as man and wife, united as Lord and Lady to save the realm”

Sansa felt an urge to laugh. If it weren’t for the fact that, once more, someone was trying to make her marry a man she had no interest in marrying, she’d find the situation hysterical. But truly, all she wanted to do in that moment was scream and be left alone.

She tried to keep her emotions in check before speaking. “Lord Varys, I’m sure you have other matters to tend to, so I’ll go straight to the point”. Her voice was low and calm, just as the skies are before a winter storm. “Your efforts are futile. Flattery and pretty words won’t work. I won’t honor the vows I was forced to say at the Great Sept of Baelor”. Her voice was firmer now, leaving behind that quiet strength. “My marriage to Tyrion Lannister was a farce. One that happened so the Lannisters could secure Winterfell for themselves. Not only was I a prisoner of House Lannister when I was forced into that marriage, I was just a child. I’ll grant you; Lord Tyrion was always decent towards me. He never forced himself on me, he respected me. But that’s where my gratitude ends. I don't owe him anything. Nor do I owe anything to anyone else”.

Lord Varys looked amused. As if he was enjoying a mummer’s farce in a spring fair. This only irritated Sansa more, even though she tried her best to not to let it show.

The Spider started tapping his fingers on the top of Sansa’s desk. “I was afraid you’d say that” he admitted. “Well, not quite like that” he granted. “I must say, Lady Sansa, behind your image of a Lady, you truly are a daughter of the North”.

“Is there anything else you wished to discuss, Lord Varys?” she asked, paying no mind to the compliment.

“Yes, actually” he replied, his face turning more serious. “There’s the matter of Jon Snow”

“What about Jon?” she hastened to ask.

"Well... He's a very impressive young man" he started. "He's a bastard that rose above his station. He was Lord Commander of the Night's Watch; the North chose him as King". There was something akin to admiration in Lord Varys' voice. "And he's unmarried".

At his words, Sansa felt her cool demeanor crack just a bit. Littlefinger’s words echoed in her head. Jon is young and unmarried. Daenerys is young and unmarried. At the time, Sansa brushed that idea off. Why would Jon want to marry a Targaryen? But of course, last night everything changed, when Jon revealed to her that he had been sleeping with the Dragon Queen. An alliance makes sense. Together, they'd be difficult to defeat, Littlefinger had said. It’s as if his words came back to mock her. Stupid girl, the cruel voice in her head said, you think you know everything but you know nothing at all.

“Jon and Queen Daenerys” she whispered. It hurts to say their names aloud, it hurts so much. Her worry was no longer alone, for it found a companion in pain, a pain so sharp it made it difficult for her to breath.

Varys observed her for a few seconds before replying. “I assume the idea already crossed your mind".

"Littlefinger mentioned it while Jon was in the South" she admitted. "But I'm afraid you'll have to talk to Jon about this, not me". Even the thought of Jon considering this proposition made her heart ache in ways she didn't quite understand. Stupid girl.

"This possible alliance involves you, too, Lady Sansa" he explained. "It involves you and your family".

The worry she felt started growing, threatening to consume her, little by little. "What do you mean?" she inquired. She had no time, no energy for games.

Varys folded his hands on his lap and focused his trained eyes on her face. "I believe I'm not mistaken when I say that few people know about Jon Snow's true identity". He took his time while uttering the words, letting them fall out of his mouth slowly and clearly, as if waiting to be interrupted or corrected. But Sansa didn't say a word. She just stayed still, while her mind went into a frenzy, trying to find a way out of this situation. It wasn't supposed to go like this. Her cool demeanor seemed to crack some more. She could feel the weight of the truth on her shoulders, the weight of what that truth could do. But she could also feel the fierce desire to protect her family, to protect Jon, in her heart. She drew strength from that.

Varys seemed to notice the fear in Sansa's eyes. "Do not fret, my dear Lady Sansa" he tried to assure her, giving her one of his seemingly innocent smiles. "I won't say a word about it. After all, it's not my secret to tell-"

"Nor is it yours to play with" she interjected, her voice as hard as iron. Southron games have no place in Winter. They can pretend and say all the pretty words they want... But when the white winds blow the lies away, only the truth will remain unscathed. "Do you know what happened to the last man that tried to use me and my family as pawns, Lord Varys?" she said as she moved towards the hearth. She stared at the flames for a few moments, giving Varys time to connect the dots.

"You killed Littlefinger" he finally said, surprised.

"We held a trial. My siblings and I, along with the Knights of the Vale exposed his crimes. He was found guilty and executed". She walked slowly towards him, like a wolf does its prey. "Our enemies toyed with us, Lord Varys. They hurt us, tried to maim us, tried to kill us". There wasn't cruelty in her voice, no. It was strength that covered her every word. "But they all forgot something important".

The Spider's eyes were still focused, but curiosity gleamed in them. "And what would that be, my Lady?"

"That the North remembers, my Lord" she declared, going back to her seat.

A smile, a little genuine smile formed on Varys's lips. "That, and that a pack of wolves is unstoppable, if I may say so" he added, offering her one of his little bows. He seemed lost in thought for a moment or two, as if he was trying to find the right words to convince her. "But you cannot defend yourselves alone. You need allies, Lady Sansa. I'm sure you know that".

"So you think marriage is the way to go, the only way to go" Sansa hoped the words unspoken were clear enough. The only way to keep the Dragon Queen content.

Varys leaned in, as if he were afraid the walls of Winterfell would listen to what he had to say to her. "You're a smart young woman, Sansa. I'm sure you noticed how... important the Iron Throne is to the Queen".

"You think once she knows the truth, she'll see Jon as a threat" she observed. Sansa and Varys both knew this to be true. Daenerys would see Jon as a threat. And how is it exactly that she deals with threats?

Sansa felt restless. Her fear and worry were overtaking her mind. But there was something else, something she could only identify as determination taking over her heart. She wouldn't let anything happen to Jon. She promised him so. I’ll protect you, just as you protected me, she had told him that night down at the crypts. And she meant every single word she said. I'm a Stark of Winterfell. I can be brave. I can be fierce.

"She could. He's Rhaegar's heir, which makes his claim higher than that of Queen Daenerys'. But if they were to marry..."

She didn't like this. She hated it. Jon is not a Targaryen. Sure, his father might've been Prince Rhaegar, but he was a Stark. His place is here, in Winterfell, with his family. With me. She immediately pushed that thought away.

"... sure you agree with me, I know you can understand-", she barely registered Varys' words. She was too lost in her thoughts and feelings to pay attention to what he was saying. Surely about how great an idea it is for Jon and Daenerys Targaryen to marry, the voice in her head said, bitterly.

"What you're proposing is for Jon to decide, not me. And definitely not you" she cut him off, as composed as she could possibly be in that moment.

"Lady Sansa" he sighs. "This is the easiest way to bring harmony to our country".

"Like I said, Lord Varys. This involves Jon, not me. I'm afraid you're seeking for validation in the wrong person".

It wasn't until she finished talking that she realized that she walked into a trap. He wanted to know how I felt about this. But why?, she wondered.

Because he knows that union isn't the only possible option, the voice in her head told her. And you know it, too. Then, she remembered the conversation she had with her siblings and Jon after finding the truth about his parents.

Lord Royce and the rest of the Vale swore fealty to us. Think about it, the North and the Vale, joined in arms and faith. And with the Freys gone, we can take back Riverrun, in the name of uncle Edmure. Should things with your aunt go wrong, we’d have the support of half of Westeros

We could have more than that...

She stopped herself lest her eyes gave her thoughts away.

"But you know him. Would he consider this proposal?" Varys insisted.

"He would do whatever is best for our people" she replied, matter-of-factly. The Master of Whisperers hummed in response. He was looking at her attentively, as if she were a riddle he was so close to solve. Sansa was resolved to do the same. Gods know what else he might know.

The silence in the room was turning tedious, so he broke it. "You've proven to be a capable politician, my Lady" he said with that little smile that exasperated her. It reminded her or King's Landing. It reminded her of people that were ready to use her and discard her the second she was no longer useful.

"You were able to come to that conclusion in such a short amount of time?"

"It might be winter, my dear" Varys laughed, "but my little birds still fly. I've heard quite a lot about the Lady of Winterfell. You see, they tell me she's very dedicated to her people, lords and smallfolk alike". He's trying something, she thought. "If you ask me, that's one of the things that makes a great ruler: genuine care. Another is to know the people around them, to know what they want" he explained. "But I'm sure the departed Lord Baelish taught you well". At the mention of his name, Sansa felt a shiver go down her spine. Even with him gone, the wounds he inflicted were somewhat open. He's gone, but his death didn't remedy the things he's done, the things he took from me and my family. Sansa lifted up her chin, trying her very best not to let the memory of a cruel, ambitious man tear her down.

"He taught you very well, if I may add" Varys continued. "You were able to outsmart him. Many people tried it, and many people died for that very reason".

Sansa was tired of this. She was tired of Varys, tired of his games. In silence, she stood up from her chair. "Lord Varys" she sighed, "I think I've made myself clear during our conversation" she said as she walked towards the door of her solar. "As for your proposal regarding Jon-"

"I tried to help your father, you know" Varys interjected, still sitting in one of the chairs laid in front of her oak desk. The mention of her Lord father made her freeze. Suddenly, she found herself fighting the tears away. Will my heart ever heal? she wondered.

"I visited him in the Black Cells" he started. "I begged him to declare himself a traitor, to forsake his honor..." Sansa heard the chair move. She didn’t see Varys approach her, she was still facing the door, unable to tear her eyes from it. As if the act of looking at any other thing than that door would break her into a million pieces. "I asked him to think of you".

The thought of her father, all alone in those cells, imprisoned like a common thief, just because he dared to tell the truth. The memory of him standing in front of the people of King's Landing, admitting his treason, only to... Sansa felt like the air was being sucked from her lungs. She started to cry silent tears. She let herself be vulnerable in front of a man that was known for taking advantage of the vulnerability of others. But she didn't care. Her heart ached for her father. Her heart ached for her innocence. Her heart's been aching since that day. And it never stopped. She turned around slowly to face the Spider. If he's going to use this against me, she thought, at least let him see what he's using. Let him feel despicable for doing such a cruel thing.

"You may ask why I'm insistent with these plans, so I'll tell you the same thing I told Lord Eddard: I don't serve Kings and Queens; they're people, just like any of the kitchen maids that work on an Inn in the Kingsroad or a farmer that never left his town" he explained, while giving her an earnest look. "The only difference, given my experience, is that Kings and Queens are more concerned with the power they can get". He then turned to the hearth, absorbed by his own words. "If they dedicated half the time and energy to matters of state, to the people, the realm would be flourishing, instead of drowing in yet another war". He talked like a man that was tired of his task but wouldn't give up on it, not just yet. "So, you may ask yourself who do I truly serve, the answer is simple". At this, he turned to face Sansa. "I serve the realm, my Lady, because no one else seems to do so".

His words rang true with her. This might be the first time he's being completely sincere in our entire conversation, she thought. The exasperation left her little by little, and started to be replaced by curiosity and an eagerness to know. Why would a man so concerned with the well-being of the realm stand beside a Targaryen?, she wondered. One that burned her enemies alive. But she kept those questions to herself.

He walked closer to her, probably wanting to reach for her hand, but he was aware of the way she stiffened, so he stopped on his tracks. "You care about your people, I know it. I've seen it. So please, Lady Sansa. At least take my proposals into consideration".

She just stood there, trying to read him. There was a distinct gleam in his eyes. Desperation, the voice in her head told her. He looks like a man that's running out of options.

Varys took her silence as some sort of quiet refusal. "You think that just because you slain one giant, there's nothing else in the world that can terrify you, but there is" he stated. "The realm is not yet safe".

He is desperate, she thought, because he's afraid.

"I assure you, Lord Varys, me and my family, as any other northerner, will do anything and everything in our power to keep our people safe" she was quick to answer. "We take care of each other. Especially through hardships". Sansa thought he might give her some witty remark, or retort her right away, but his answer didn’t come. Instead, he stayed silent, with wide eyes, trying to read the woman in front of him.

"Unless there is something you're not telling me" she prodded. "Maybe about the Dragon Queen's previous allies?" Sansa made sure her tone left nothing out. I know about the Reach. I know about the Iron Fleet and Dorne. I know she's done nothing for them.

Realization dawned on Varys' face. Sansa took the silent confirmation gladly. She now knew for certain who exactly she was dealing with.

"I beg of you, my Lady" he started, not worrying about masking the uneasiness in his voice. "Daenerys is your ally. There is no need of making her your enemy".

"Does she terrify you, my Lord?" she found herself asking. The voice of Varys the Spider didn't answer her, his silence did. "You know, Cersei once gave me a piece of advise. She told me that I should make sure the people fear me more than they do the enemy. She told me that in doing so, nobody would dare to cross me" she explained. "Why do I feel your Queen is not so different from Cersei in that matter?"

Silence met her question once more. One by one, all of Sansa's fears were being confirmed by Varys' silences. Sansa had no energy to keep on going. She was heading towards her desk when she heard Varys sigh. "I hope you're careful, Lady Sansa. I really do".

"And I hope you keep your word, Lord Varys" she said in a voice like iron. "This isn't one of the games of the Capital".

"In that we seem to agree, my dear" he offered, before bowing and leaving the solar.

Once she was alone, Sansa felt her emotions wash over her: fear, anger, helplessness, determination. Each one more aggressive than the former. But, as if all of that weren't enough, her mind started playing with her heart. The ever-present ache she felt whenever she thought of those she lost was like a sharp dagger in her chest. The ever-present fear she's been feeling ever since she found out about Jon's parentage. The miserable feeling she couldn't get rid of ever since Jon told her about him and Daenerys Targaryen.

She felt faint. She felt trapped.

She wanted peace. She wanted her family.

You want Jon, that voice in her head told her.

Brushing aside that little voice (one that sounded like her old self, the one that dreamed of princes and gallant knights), she made her way towards the Great Keep. It was time to listen to the people: their needs and their worries, and the Lady of Winterfell didn't have time to dwell in hers. She had to do her duty.

(You can read the rest of the chapter on AO3)

#jonsa #jon x sansa #sansa x jon #Jon Snow #Sansa Stark #got #jonsa fanfiction #actuallyjonsa #jonsa fandom #my fanfiction #my writing #my stuff

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alayne-stonecoldfox · 5 years

Note

Uhhhh can you tell me more about your incestuous morally corrupt ship????

Uuhhhhh I can’t make my brain work enough to condense them down very well but I’ll try and ramble and you can see how long you can last without clocking out babe lol

Ezra Montaigne is the youngest son of the Matriarch of the Montaigne family (currently alive characters all stem from a set of five siblings) and he is the (somewhat) calmed down version of his hellish teenage/early twenties self, desperately attention seeking as the youngest, and the ‘spare’ heir to his oldest brother who he both idolised and resented, by acting out. Highlights include sleeping with his violin teacher as she was the most attractive women at the all boys school they sent him to (but it was ok because daddy’s money paid for the abortion). Setting the schools priests quarters on fire because he was a known pedophile, and the bastard REFUSED to pay the bribe money Ezra was demanding from the pervert to keep it quiet. He’s just HELL to every body of authority to ever get in his unfortunate way.

Then something happens. Hiram, the good and true responsible groomed from birth to succeed oldest son...disappears. He leaves. With the older wife of a very very bad man who should not be crossed, and with millions and millions of his dollars. The Montaignes are blindsides. No one can find him. Not even the very very bad man...which makes this man angry, which puts the Montaignes into a very very bad situation...but I best not talk about that night he made them pay for what their son had done, what punishment they took in his place....but Ezra never forgot, and Ezra found it very very hard to forgive, and after that, drugs seemed a great way to cope with it.

Experimenting with just about EVERY drug gets him in even more trouble, but he doesn’t care anymore, because even with Hiram gone, the Hiram that betrayed them, that wasn’t their to face the consequences the bastard coward had everything and gave it all away bastard, Ezra STILL wasn’t replaced as the favourite in fathers eyes so who cared anymore? Uppers downers 8-balls and oxy are SO fun, I’m very smart and capable I COULD be just as great as Hiram was, and so much more LOYAL because I love this family more than any of the fake, money desperate ‘friends’ around me, but no, no, it won’t be good enough. Hiram ran away and now I’m all the son you’re stuck with, Think I’ll run around the world, get tattoos, throw our family name even more under the bus of social standing, because at the end of the day, our money is more powerful than what they think of us, why don’t you just let them talk, we could wipe out any countries debt at any time we please, we can fund any politician we like, we can bribe any judge any court, our money is godly.

Except when one is cut off. Which dad eventually did, after Ezra attended a ball in Vienna and got in a fight with the heir to the throne of spain, but he doesn’t know what the bastards problem was, because he only fingered his mother, he didn’t fuck her like he’d heard, it was only a miscommunication. ANYWAY. Takes to living with his dear lesbians sister Tess in her art studio as she tries to be less of an aristocrat and more a bohemian (not without all her money of course, don’t be mad). Tries to suck a dick in a club bathroom in exchange for cocaine in an opportunistic turn of events, but decides even though he wouldn’t mind being bi for the cool points, even though tragically, he is heterosexual, it was rather traumatic in a way he wishes he could supress, and also this tastes disgusting, asks the old man just to give him half because even though he couldn’t go through with it, your cock WAS in my mouth for about five seconds, that worth something? no? ok, a scene ensues, Ezra is about 6′2 btw, all of the Montaignes can be flagged at any european social gathering, they are all legs. The blow job solicitor has him thrown from the premises. Ezra decides to hunt down the mans wife. For the drama. through this old dame, he meets one of her book club (read: swingers club) pals, who is a 45 year old duchess who wants her needs met. He becomes some sort of sugar baby? Why not. She buys him ALL the drugs and he’s basically siphoning ALL of her money out of her accounts as Ezra rather has a talent for lying, manipulating and finance. He’s very fond of her. Anyway, this is getting long, drugs drugs drugs, disappointment, clinging onto being as self destructive as he can at every turn, yadda yadda, overdose number 3 happens, drama, ENOUGH IS A FUCKING NOUGH. Dad corners him, alongside dear sister, ever loving mother, favourite sympathetic uncle, cousins who are his best and only true friends, chain him to a radiator as he is shaking vomitting incoherent for the past week due to drugs, he is told he has two options, and only two. Marry this girl I have chosen for you. She is aristocratic as well, but low down on the list of eligibility, but your in a position of beggar, not chooser. Her father is almost dead, and she will inherit a small (by their fucking rich rule the world with money standards) company and fortune, use this oppertunity to show me what you can make of yourself, OR, and heres your other choice, kill yourself. Heres the gun. We’ll give you a minute with the radiator.

Ezra married the girl, it is a desperately bleak marriage. She’s not ugly but she’s not pretty either. she’s english, and whines when Ezra and his cousins speak french. She’s always whining. About the man she wanted to marry and how he left her, how her father made her have an abortion because he was just a waiter. Her suicide notes aren’t even poetic. But at least Ezra, over a long long decade, puts his actual talents and brains to work. They’re almost as useful as that devilish charisma and high propensity for risk taking, scheming, and getting what he wants, when he wants it. He’s almost, almost getting along with his father now too, though mother scolds him for stepping on the oxygen tubes too long (it’s only a joke).

but then...

Incidents happen. Hiram Montaigne, the elder brother, the prodigal son, the runaway off the grid hasn’t been seen in almost two decades son after he ran away with another mans wife with millions and millions of stolen money son....returns. Cryptically. In a phone call to their dear lesbian sister Tess. He’s drunk. It was all a mistakes. He’s so sorry. He’s convinced he’s being poisoned? he doesn’t make any sense.

But when Ezra catches wind of this call, Tess and him are very close and share almost everything (by rich white aristocratic standards) he immediately has everyone of their phones tapped and traced. Because its their brother. Because he has to get his hands on him. Because he’s their family and they love him. Because he’s always dreamed of seeing him again and beating his betraying head against a rock. Because he’s in danger and they must help. Because how dare he have the nerve to do what he did.

He traces him. Successfully. because he’s Ezra Montaigne and he gets what he wants, and he’s wanted his brother for close to twenty years.

He comes to a lake house, all the way across Europe in Denmark, isolated. Small. Hidden. Hiram isn’t home.

But Ginette is.

Pretty girl. Wide eyed at the black cars (of course Ezra brought his most trusted security) that arrived at the house that barely saw anyone besides those from the small town, over 30 minutes drive away from their home.

The man asks her if Hiram Montaigne lives here. She says he doesn’t, but he does, it’s only that his daughter has only ever known the false person he had to be after he did what he did.

Ezra takes note of her bright blue eyes, like his, and his brothers, and her long lanky legs, and then her red hair. The woman Hiram ran off with had red hair.

Ginette asks him who he may be, and Ezra replies “I think I may be your uncle.”

#AND this is way too long #maybe i'll write up about gigi in a second post if anyones interested at all #montaignes #Anonymous

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youremyonlyhope · 5 years

Text

Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror

BBC-America isn’t working on my tv for whatever reason, so I guess I’m watching this on my computer instead.

Wow, at 7:55pm Spectrum logged me out of BBC America’s website because my brother logged on in Jersey, and my mom has her phone playing the news. I had to get my mom to log off of her phone. Could have avoided this if my TV would just let me watch BBC America.

Also that’s just plain rude that I had Underworld playing in the background of my computer for 30 minutes since that’s what was on before Doctor Who, and then once my brother logs in it decides to log me out rather than just not let my brother log in.

NOW LET’S FINALLY START THIS EPISODE. And pray that no one in my family logs back on before 9:15.

NIAGARA FALLS. Someone remind me to find that old skit. Found it! Slowly I turned... Step by step... Literally goes through my head if someone says Niagara Falls. I love the period dress on the companions. And then Doctor’s just normal. The Doctor fangirling over Tesla is me too. Aww Yaz convincing Ryan to jump. Silurian!? Like. Madame Vastra Silurian? See, I thought the Doctor was calling Tesla a liar because she knows something about the Tesla/Edison rivalry that we don’t or something. I’m glad it’s about something happening currently. I might end up typing less since I want to watch the episode in full screen, so I’m adding most of this during commercials. Normally I just watch my tv and type without looking at the keyboard. Also, I have taken the train from Niagra Falls back to New York, so I love this. “Central Park?” “Yes! Now that has been around for ages.” Um. Has it? What about the black villages that were displaced to create the park? “You don’t belong in America” Things never change. Just the target does. Oh the Doctor’s shirt is red this time. Has that happened before? Did I just not notice? I normally notice costume stuff... “I made it, mainly out of spoons.” Love it. I love Tesla and the Doctor bonding.... Oh no. Ohhh noooo I’m getting Van Gogh vibes. Am I gonna be sad? I’m already sad about Tesla’s story in general. Am I gonna be sadder? Oh Edison sucks. “Who has the patent?” Oh wow he really sucks. Oh god Edison REALLY sucks. Wardenclyffe. I gotta look that up later. Well.... OK. He killed everyone. Great. Her face when she said “...This is your chemical lab... PERFECT!” was amazing. ...It’s a scorpion?... Oh of course they came for Tesla. Oh fantastic. Scorpions everywhere. IS THE COUSIN OF THE RACNOSS?! Well. The Doctor did say ancient people used those orbs... if they’re related then yeah makes sense. I forgot Edison was here... GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE TARDIS. It’s so interesting that aliens would pick a man from the early 20th century over anyone from further in a (hopefully) more advanced future. I liked Graham calling out Edison. Queen of the Skithra this time, Empress of the Racnoss before. The Doctor says she’s messy... didn’t she insult the Master a few episodes ago for being messy too? “The external dimensions transcends the internal.” “Spot on!” Awwwwwwww. I’m suddenly remembering that I can’t remember how Tesla died or if he’s one of the people who history just sort of... lost. Hmm...

Also, I literally did not sleep last night and worked for a full day and just ate a bunch of fried food and it is a wonder that I’m still awake after like 32 hours straight... But even though I am loving this episode I can feel the exhaustion kicking in.

“You do realize that it’s killing Edison that they want you and not him.” LOL “Tesla came up with WiFi?” Oh shut up Edison. “Oi! AC/DC.” Wait. No. AC/DC can’t stand Alternating Current Direct Current can it... no... Ok I gotta google that later. [Update: Yes. That is exactly what the band is named after. AC/DC written on a sewing machine. And I am stupid because there is literally a lightning bolt in their logo.] I guess i’m glad Edison’s helping... but he’s still insulting Tesla while doing it... Oh I really love Tesla. Oooooh it’s blue on the inside of the TARDIS again. “The present is theirs. I work for the future. And the future is mine.” Awwwwwwwwwww. That was sweet. Tesla still deserves better.

JUDOON. CYBERMAN. AND THE MASTER’S BACK?! HEY THAT WAS DEKKER FROM CHILDREN OF EARTH AKA UNCLE KEVAN IN GAME OF THRONES. And... did I maybe see a chameleon arch or did I imagine it... I feel like that was in the series trailer...

I’m scrolling through Tesla’s wiki page, and shoutout to Doctor Who’s set designer. I’d noticed the giant circular thing in the background and thought it was a giant clock or something, but it’s a spiral coil that Tesla really had in his laboratory.

I like that this episode was another historical episode that makes you want to look up the things afterwards. I got a little lost in Tesla’s wiki page there. And then I started dozing off. But I woke myself up enough to proofread this and press send.

I’m glad they didn’t try to pull a Vincent and the Doctor and have the Doctor be like “Tesla, don’t worry, people love you, we all use your inventions” because they don’t love him and we use his inventions without knowing he helped create them. People barely know who Tesla is. I only know who is because of a book I read in probably middle school that was like... historical fiction that was supposed to be sorta based on fact and he was a character in it. What was that book... it took place on the Titanic I think... which I am 99% sure Tesla was not on. But anyway, if it wasn’t for that book I’d have no idea who Tesla was at all. I’d definitely never heard of Wardenclyffe.

Update: Like 4 hours later I realized that I spelled Nikola wrong in the title. Also I still have not gone to bed yet. Well that’s a lie, I’m lying in bed now. But I’m not asleep yet. 37 hours and counting.

#hope watches doctor who #ignore me if you want #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #doctor who

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queen-scribbles · 3 years

Text

In the Aftermath

Thank you, anon, for the excuse to write a hurt/comfort thing I’ve had rattling around the back of my brain for a while now. (also, as always, *insert both is good meme*) Cafune(the act of running your fingers through the hair of someone you love) and marcid(incredibly exhausted) Big-time spoilers for the end of Greedfall, if anyone’s avoiding those ;)

---

Get back up.

It was the advice Kurt had most thoroughly drilled into her head, whether shouted from halfway across the training yard or said with quiet, gruff encouragement as he hauled her to her feet; Get up, Green Blood, we’re not done yet.

Her heart pounded in her ears, the stony ground dug into her back, her breath kept hitching on a near-sob. She highly doubted this sort of situation was what he’d had in mind when giving such advice, but it still helped.

She needed to get up. Needed to get back to... everyone else. (To him.) Tell them it was done, the danger was past.

A spike of grief pierced through her weariness, and Vesper sniffled as she rolled on to her side. Away from Constantin’s lifeless body. (Her doing.)

Get back up.

The thought galvanized her, and she rose first to hands and knees, then pushed through the heavy weight of exhaustion to stagger to her feet.

She felt more than heard En ol míl frichtimen’s voice, reverberating the air and the very hollows of her chest. “Thank you, On ol menawí. I know your sacrifice was great.”

She didn’t, couldn’t look back. Vesper gave a sharp nod, tears stinging her eyes, and mustered the energy to start for the exit. Her legs ached and she could feel her hair sliding loose, the encircling braid sagging against her shoulder, but she kept going.

It took three tries in her current state to scale an embankment that would barely slow her pace on a normal day. And the effort of standing was enough to make her sway and brace a hand against the wall. But she kept going. With stumbling steps and ragged breaths, she pressed on toward reunion with her friends. To tell them it was safe. To see that they were safe.

Vesper paused at the thought, at the sudden fear they might not be, and it was in that moment she caught the scuffing of footsteps, rushed and uneven, coming from the mouth of the passage out. She made it a few more weary, stumbling steps in that direction before the approaching figure came into view.

He halted as she had a moment ago, and a sharp, shaky exhale echoed off the walls. “Vesper.”

“Kurt.” Everything else faded away under a brief, blinding blaze of relief, and Vesper stumbled across the remaining gap between them. He staggered, just a step, at the force of her crashing into him, and his arms were around her in a fierce and equally relieved hug by the time she sagged against his chest.

Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Both too overcome, she supposed, as she clung to him like the world would end if she didn’t.

Kurt was the one to ease them apart, but not far. Just enough to scan her face as his hands brushed her jaw, shoulders, arms, waist checking for injuries. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” Vesper managed, voice wobbling. It wasn’t entirely true; there were a few places that would very likely bruise over the next few days. But her only serious hurt from this fight wasn’t physical. “Kurt, I...”

He paused his examination, hands on her elbows, and followed her gaze to her gloves, the right one heavily stained with dark blood. “Constantin?” he asked, voice rough, tone gentle.

A choked and ragged sob was all the answer she could give, but it was enough.

Kurt’s jaw tensed and he wordlessly pulled the gloves off her hands, dropping them to the ground as he wrapped her in another hug.

Vesper let herself melt against him, trusting in the steadying strength he offered. “I killed him.” The words came out numb and saying them didn’t make it feel any more real. It was just a nightmare, she’d wake up and have more time. “I wanted to save him,” she whispered hoarsely. Naïve fantasy it may have been, she’d still hoped, and failure had her voice unraveling into sobs. “Like damn near everyone since coming to this island. From beasts, bad decisions, or whatever else, we’ve saved so many people, Kurt, why not him, too?!”

Kurt’s hold on her tightened, one arm around her shoulders and the other hand sliding up to cradle the back of her head. There was a heavy pause before he murmured against her temple, “I don’t know, Green Blood.”

It was a fair answer, and what she expected, and the only proper response she could give was a fresh wave of sobs, poorly muffled against the side of his neck. He just held her, neither speaking. She was vaguely aware of a faint bump and her knuckles brushing stone as one of Kurt’s shoulders came to rest on the tunnel wall.

Vesper’s tears were just beginning to abate when there was the echo of more footsteps and Aphra’s voice, rough with smoke, “De Sardet?”

“Here!” Kurt called back for her, briefly tightening his embrace once more before Vesper stepped back, sniffling and wiping at her tears with the backs of her thumbs. There was no hiding the tracks they’d cut through the grime on her face, but she could try for at least some composure speaking to her friends. The silent assurance of Kurt’s hand lingering on her shoulder helped immensely.

It wasn’t much of a surprise when Sìora was the first to come into view. “Are you alright?” she asked, hurrying forward, eyes full of concern.

Vesper took a deep breath and inclined her head in a half nod. “I’m not hurt.” She was proud of how little her voice shook.

Sìora squeezed her arm. “We will see to your cousin, carants,” she said softly. “You worry about yourself.”

What composure Vesper had managed to gather buckled under the compassion in her friend’s voice, and she was blinking back tears again as she nodded wordless thanks.

Sìora sent a significant look at Kurt over her head, and Vesper sensed his nod in response as his arm slid around the back of her shoulders again. He nudged her toward the tunnel mouth while Sìora and the others filed deeper into the cavern.

They only made it a couple steps, however, before Kurt’s gait went briefly uneven and he was just a little too slow biting back the accompanying hiss of pain.

Vesper wheeled on him, grief overridden by concern. “Are you hurt?” she demanded, voice cracking as she realized she hadn’t checked yet and took her turn running a worried eye over him.

“Nothing that won’t heal,” he said, catching her hands to still them.

“Kurt.”

“Those big lizards got in a couple good whacks before we put them down,” Kurt relented, “but it’s nothing worse than bruises, and it was this or them trample Aphra.”

She stood a moment, hesitant to believe he wasn’t downplaying for her sake.

“Oh, my sweet Excellency.” Kurt released one of her hands so he could tip her chin up to meet his gaze. “I’ll mend. No need to fuss.”

“And... if I want to anyway?” Vesper asked softly, voice shaking with exhaustion.

He kissed her forehead and ran his fingers through her hair to tuck it back from her face. “Later. For now, Sìora had the right of it; we should worry about you.”

Concerned as she may have been, Vesper found herself too tired to argue, and let him resume guiding her down the mountain to their camp. She still noticed how heavily he was favoring one knee on their way, and quietly hoped he didn’t put off taking care of himself, either. Especially not for her sake.

The air in the camp was subdued, and while she did receive a few grateful glances, Vesper was relieved no one seemed to be treating this as a victory. Even with what he’d done, she didn’t think she could have borne seeing Constantin’s death treated as cause for celebration. They'd barely reached her tent, Vesper just ducking inside, when a young man in heavily battered Coin Guard armor approached.

“Beggin’ pardon,” he began, clearing his throat, “Captain, Commander Sieglinde wanted to speak with you a moment.”

Kurt’s scowl bordered on legendary, even for him. “Commander Sieglinde-”

“Can expect him shortly,” Vesper interrupted, resting a hand on his arm to forestall the thunderous protest in his eyes.

“Green Blood-”

“She’s still your commander--and friend--Kurt,” she pointed out as they watched the messenger scurry back to the Coin Guard encampment. “You should speak to her. It sounds like it won’t take long, and I’m not so tired I can’t remove my own armor. Go.”

He hesitated, reluctance to leave her clear on his face.

“I promise I’ll be alright. I’ll clean up some and still be here when you get back.”

Kurt sighed and cupped her jaw with one hand. “You’re sure?”

Vesper covered his hand with hers and nodded. “Sure.”

He held her gaze a moment longer, then turned with a half-growled sigh to go find Sieglinde.

Vesper watched him a moment, still concerned about him walking on that leg (was it bad enough to count as a limp? she’d say so, but he didn’t want her worrying about him), then stepped into the tent.

Someone had decided she was important enough to have one of the low cots, shared from another faction because she never bothered for their regular excursions. She dropped her swordbelt and blades, (badly singed) cloak, and sturdy leather jacket on the cot, her arms heavy and slow as the exhaustion crept back in. Or tried to; she didn’t want to sleep, not yet, and pushed it away as she washed best she could in the basin of water and undid her hair. She sat on the ground rather than shove her gear out of the way on the cot, and leaned against the frame as she stared unseeing at a tuft of grass, trying to convince her brain to focus.

Her thought were so foggy she wasn’t really sure how long she sat staring at nothing before Kurt came back, but it was enough time he was out of his armor as well. He paused in the tent’s doorway at the sight of her, but Vesper spoke before he could.

“How do I tell my uncle?” She broke her dead stare at the ground to look up at him. “What do I tell my uncle?”

He crossed the tent and sat next to her. (Slowly, and she saw the wince he tried to hide). “Another worry for later. Once you’ve had some sleep.”

I don’t want to sleep. “Then it’s worrying about you again,” Vesper said with a significant glance at his “just bruised” knee. “Because if I don’t fill them with something, my thoughts will drift to topics that may well drive me mad.”

Kurt studied her a moment. He knew what she meant, she was sure. What else could she have done, or done differently, or not done to change... what happened. (nothing, but she knew that. She’d helped clean up or cover for enough of Constantin’s messes to know he was very capable of making his own decisions. She just didn’t want to hear that right now.)

Finally he gave her a look that was... not quite a sympathetic smile, but definitely understood. “Come here.” He pulled her over into his lap and Vesper went without resistance.

She paid careful attention for any sign of injury beyond his leg; tenseness or wincing, but there didn’t seem to be any. He shifted a little against the corner post of the cot, but that seemed more finding a comfortable position than something hurting. Exhaustion pulled a little heavier with that assurance as she settled against his chest.

Kurt’s chin pressed the top of her head and his arms came to rest around her middle. “...If it’ll help, you can worry a little.”

He didn’t even sound grudging about it, but the giggle that wanted to escape at that concession came out as more of an almost-sob. It was followed by another as she twisted sideways to tuck herself even closer, his heartbeat in her ear.

The sound of it made her chest ache with relief all over again. “I’m just glad I didn’t...”

Lose you.

Kurt wrapped his arms around her more tightly, one rising to card his fingers through her hair. “As am I,” he murmured, voice quiet as hers had been.

The thought flitted though that they’d be more comfortable on the bed, but tucked safe and close as she was, Vesper had no desire to move. And despite her best efforts, the exhaustion finally won, pulling her deep under tides of sleep.

Thankfully, the nightmares she’d been dreading didn’t follow.

(Yet.)

---

(It’s not until they wake up in the morning, still sitting on the ground, and Kurt literally can’t bend that knee bc it’s gotten too stiff that Ves remembers she knows magical healing, whoops )

(and don’t talk to me about the parallels of Sìora helping with Constantin’s funeral after Ves helped with her mother’s bc it gives me too many emotions)

#queens fic #word prompts #vesper de sardet #kurt #greedfall kurt #ves/kurt #greedfall

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bifinmediasres · 5 years

Note

Alex didn't have the best family life, despite being a amazing parent, he fears turning into them.

Zeb walked into the bunk room to see Alex slowly rocking a sleeping Jacen back and forth. The infant had been colicky lately and Alex was one of the few people who could get him to sleep. Currently he was singing softly, some song Zeb had never heard before, and it had done the trick of getting Jacen to calm down enough to sleep.

After Alexsandr had laid Jacen down in the crib in his nursery Zeb asked him about the song, "Never heard that song before, come to think of it, never heard you sing before," Zeb mused.

Alexsandr laughed softly coming to sit next to Zeb on their bed, "Well that's because generally I can't. But that song is special. It was first sung to me when I was Jacen's age by my grandmother."

Zeb's brow furrowed, "Why do you never talk about her? Or anything about your childhood for that matter?"

A pained expression crossed Alexsandr's face and he swallowed before answering, "There's very little about my childhood that makes for a good story I'm afraid. And it all died with my grandmother when I was very young." He hung his head and Zeb immediately regretted starting this conversation.

" 'm sorry Sasha. I didn't-" here Alex cut him off.

"You didn't know. Precisely why you shouldn't apologize," he took hold of Zeb's hand saying, "Suffice to say there are parts of my upbringing that give me serious pause about ever being able to be a good parent."

Zeb didn't mean to scoff. But that idea was completely ridiculous to him. Anyone who watched Alexsandr with Jacen could see Alex had what appeared to be an innate sense when it came to what the boy needed.

He tried reminding Alexsandr of this only to be waved off, "Caring for an infant is completely different than the responsibilities of parenting. It's merely meeting needs." As if on cue they heard a cry coming from the nursery. Alex immediately stood to go check on Jacen and Zeb followed.

Nothing appeared to be wrong so Alexsandr merely tried to sooth the boy by patting him softly and beginning to sing again. In a few minutes he'd calmed down and was drifting off to sleep.

Alexsandr bent down and whispered, "I do love you you know." He couldn't be sure if it was in response or just a reflex but Jacen gripped his finger tightly.

Zeb watched from his position next to Alex and whispered, "What was that about not being a good parent?" Alexsandr smiled softly but didn't answer.

As Jacen grew the bond he had with his uncles only became stronger, especially where Alexsandr was concerned. Jacen followed his Unca Sasa everywhere and told everyone who would listen about his smart and strong uncle. While the attention made Alex shrink slightly he inwardly he was thrilled that the little boy looked up to him. He hoped he could be worthy of the level of adoration shown him.

Because even now in the back of his mind was the thought that his relationship with Jacen was a fluke, that he was bound to mess up irreparably. And that's how he continued to operate. He was so convinced of this eventuality, he failed to see what effect it was having on his other relationships.

This came to a head one evening as he and Zeb were getting ready for bed. Undoing the buckles of his jumpsuit Zeb asked, "You wanna get married?"

Alexsandr had to steady himself where he stood trying to slip off his boots, "Was that a proposal? Because if it was it was incredibly lacking."

"Lacking how?" Zeb asked before shaking his head, "Wait no, it wasn't a propo- hold on are you saying if it was you'd say no because I did it wrong?"

Alexsandr laughed, "My answer stays the same regardless," he locked eyes with Zeb, "Yes unequivocally yes. In any circumstances in any alternate realities."

Zeb smiled and straightened momentarily, "Good." Silence stretched between them for a few minutes after that.

"So," Alexsandr began, "if it wasn't a proposal..."

"Right!" Zeb remembered sudden where he'd been headed, "I know what you've said before, but do you think when we are married you would ever want kids?"

Alexsandr sank onto the bed releasing all the air in his lungs slowly, "Zeb I" he stopped and shook his head, "I don't think I can answer that question right now."

Zeb crossed the room and knelt in front of Alex taking his hands, "And you absolutely don't have to decide right now. There's no rush."

Alexsandr attempted a smile, "Children is something you want though yes?"

Zeb moved to sit on the floor in front of Alex. He looked up into Alex's eyes and spoke softly, "I want you. Forever, whatever that looks like. Married, not married. Two kids, twenty. Kriff we could just have a spare room for Ezra and I'd be content. All I need is you Sasha."

Alexsandr found he couldn't speak for a moment but when he found his voice it was to say, "I love you Garazeb."

Zeb rose to his knees and leaned forward capturing Alexsandr's lips with his. Breaking apart Zeb grinned, "Still no pressure, but for whatever it's worth I think you'd make a wonderful parent."

"As would you my Zeb," Alexsandr smiled before kissing him again.

Several years later saw Zeb and Alex married and as luck would have it they did become parents. From his first days of parenthood their children knew nothing but love and care from Alexsandr. He was every bit the doting father he was afraid he couldn't be. He and Zeb routinely got pulled into the imaginary worlds of their children's games and neither ever hesitated to play the wayward jedi knight or the fearsome rancor.

They both attempted to be the disciplinarian but neither enjoyed it. Yelling at his children made Alex feel terrible. That voice in the back of his mind always piped up telling him he was turning into exactly what he didn't want to be. He tried to reason that teaching his children right from wrong was necessary and yelling didn't mean he was angry with them. Still the voice persisted, and even though he tried not to let them show his doubts only grew the older his children got.

Zeb did his best to banish those thoughts of inadequacy from Alexsandr's mind. He constantly reinforced his and their children's love for Alex. This helped to some degree but he knew it didn't entirely solve the problem and likely never would. They both settled on focusing on loving their children the best way they could.

It wasn't until his children and Jacen were well into their teens that Alexsandr witnessed something that gave him faith in his parenting. He and Zeb stood on their porch watching the kits and Jacen playing a game with a group of younger children. Suddenly one of the little boys pushed another to the ground who immediately began to cry. Zeb and Alex's son jumped into action immediately yelling, "What did you do that for? Don't you know it's wrong to hurt people?" The young boy who'd pushed the other down began to cry for being yelled at.

Seeing this Jacen swore under his breath and nodded at Zeb and Alex's daughter. Together they walked toward the group as Jacen called, "Hey there's no need for that, either of you. It'll be ok." He placed a hand on one of the boy's shoulders as his cousin did her best to soothe the little boy on the ground, "Are you hurt? No? Just startled? That's ok." She rubbed the younger boy's back and didn't even blink when he moved to snuggle into her lap still sniffling.

Her brother and Jacen continued to talk to the other boy, elder brother to the one he'd pushed down. "Hey I get it," Jacen was saying, "Brothers can be a pain." He motioned to Zeb and Alex's son, "He's just my cousin and he drives me nuts."

This earned a grin from the kit in question, "You love me."

Jacen nodded, "Exactly. That's the point. We all make each other a little crazy. But we're family and we don't intentionally hurt each other." He looked between the two brothers, "Think you're ready to make up?" The elder nodded shuffling over to where his brother sat. Bending down he hugged the little boy who hugged him back. For their part the cousins all smiled at each other.

A little while later the group broke up and Jacen and the kits joined Zeb and Alex on the porch. They were immediately praised for their mature handling of the situation. Alexsandr couldn't help asking, "How did you know to do and say what you did?"

Jacen smiled and said simply, "It's how we were taught."

Alexsandr nodded, "Well your mama did a good job then."

Zeb and Alex's daughter laughed, "Not Auntie Hera Dad, you!" Her brother nodded in agreement.

Alexsandr sat silently turning this over in his mind as Zeb moved to wrap his arm around Alexsandr from behind, "What have I always said, I knew you'd be good at the parent thing."

Jacen nodded, "Uncle Sasa you're the best! You've been teaching us our whole lives. You taught us all to read," he stopped and grinned sheepishly, "No offense Uncle Zeb, I love you too. But you and mom taught me more of the how to kick butt stuff."

"And where did you learn to swear exactly," Alexsandr asked pointedly letting Jacen know he'd heard the slip earlier.

Jacen groaned, "Karabast, don't tell mama!"

Alexsandr laughed but made no promises except from that day on to stop listening to that negative voice in his head.

#asked and answered #asks are open #anon is on #kalluzeb #kalluzeb drabbles #kalluzeb headcanons #kalluzeb prompts #garazeb orrelios #alexsandr kallus #jacen syndulla

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thewisekenisme · 6 years

Text

the tale of two brother

Summary: Twin brothers Logan and Roman have been inseparable since they were born, but they were horribly separated at the age ten taken away from each other mysteriously in the night to never see each other again, until now when attending their grandmothers funeral both boys found out that they would be going to the same high school while staying with their Uncle and cousin in Florida, now reunited how will the brothers act? will they be able to put their different life styles aside to be brothers once again? or will they find their life styles are so different that their relationship was never suppose to be?

ships: brotherly logince

warnings: fighting, parents divorce , crying

word count:14,743

I dedicate this fic to my tumblr mom @figurative-falsehood your the best tumblr mom ever! I hope you enjoy your fic love you!

"Logan, Logan are you awake?" called a small voice from

Logan squeezed his eye's tight trying to block out the voice that was suddenly calling him, when the voices didn't stop calling his name he let out a tired groan turning on his side to face the voice. slowly opening his eye's he saw the blurry face of his Twin brother Roman inches away from his face. "Roman? what are you doing here ? your suppose to be in bed?" he whispered slowly reaching over placing his glasses back on.

Roman stood up straighter shuffling his feet side from side refusing to move his eye's where they were glued to the floor. he was wearing red shorts with a white shirt that had a gold crown on the front of it. far different from Logan's black short and chemistry shirt that said 'my chemistry puns barely get a reaction.' he found it both annoying that people thought he liked puns but also amusing because it was about chemistry.

Huffing In a slight annoyance Roman shrugged "I just needed to make sure your okay, as a prince it is my Job to make sure my nerd of a twin brother is safe from evil." he said slowly looking up from the floor giving Logan a annoyed look. he puffed out his chest to make himself look bigger then he was.

as Logan got a better look at his brother he noticed how tense his shoulders was, and how he had small wet lines going alone his freckled cheeks as if he had been crying. "I'm okay Ro, are you okay?" he asked quietly moving slightly closer to the wall just incase Roman decided to jump into his bed. "you look as if you were crying so there is no lying to me saying your okay when you obviously are not." he crossed his arms in a way to show Roman they he was serious.

Romans shoulder's sank hearing Logan catch him in his act to be brave. "Mom and dad are fighting again, can I sleep in here with you? to you know protect you from their shouts?" he asked winching slightly when he heard their father scream at his wife.

as much as he didn't want to admit it did feel frightened when their parents bickering became full on shouting matches that would last for hours into the nights sometimes until early mornings. the only comfort he found during these times would be the fact that his twin brother was tucked into bed with him. that way he knew he was close and safe away from their parents. "Of course come on. "he replied moving the blankets aside.

Romans face lit up, he rushed onto his brothers bed carefully laying next to his brother , careful not to take to much of the pillow so they could share. "Thanks Lo " he whispered with a small smile .

Logan carefully laid next to Roman making sure the blanket was tucked neatly around the both of them before settling into the mattress. He opened his mouth to say something when the loud noise of glass shattering down the hall caused both boys to just shrinking into each other. He turned his head hiding into his face into the pillow shaking a bit.

Roman quickly grabbed a hold of Logan's hand holding it tightly making the other look up at him. "don't worry lo." he whispered carefully squeezing their hands "As long as we're together nothing's going to get us."

Logan knew it was illogical that something could get them even if they were together, but the feeling of hope he got when his twin whispered that simple sentence " Ro, promise me we will never fight like mom and dad." He whispered feeling a little embarrassed that he was scared of losing his brother.

Roman grinned lifting his hand to his heart making a X over it. "I cross my heart , your my twin we may not like everything each other do and argue but I'll never not want you to be my brother! "he smiled widely before a yawn took over. He rubbed his eyes before moving closer carefully wrapping Logan into a hug holding him protectively.

Logan snuggled closer hugging his brother tightly not really liking the physical contact but was happy for it. He relaxed into his arms letting a small yawn out. "Your my best friend Ro. " he whispered back.

Slowly Roman let his eyes fall close letting the warmth of the blanket and the weight of his brothers arms help him drift off to sleep. "Nigh Lo Lo, I love you. Promise we will never be separated "He whispered letting darkness take him into a peaceful sleep.

"I love you too Ro. I promise, we will never be apart. "He yawned moving his head so both of their forehead were touching before letting his eyes fall close. "I will fight for us" he finally spoke before falling into a deep sleep The two brothers slept with one another wrapped tightly around the other the fight of their parents long forgotten, and was replaced with the love and bond of two brothers who dreamed of never being separated.

"Logan, Sweetheart are you Alright?" came a familiar voice beside him.

Blinking Logan looked around to take in his surrounding. He was in his old bedroom with his twin anymore , he was currently in the back seat of a rental car with his mother Valerie , while his step father Melvin sat in the front seat checking his phone, outside they were parked in front of what seemed like a funeral home, oh that's right they were in Georgia for his grandmothers(on his moms side) funeral, she had passed away peacefully during her sleep her hand wrapped tightly around her husbands. they had to fly all the way from London to help his grandfather with the funeral arrangements and be there for moral support , which Logan was perfectly content to do that from afar.

they all were dress in black, his mother in a black blouse and sunhat with a matching black pencil skirt and heels, her dark hair was pulled back in a low bun hidden by the back of her sunhat. His step father was wearing black dress pants and shoes with a white button up with his sleeves rolled up slightly reviling his bicep, his hair was combed back slightly.

Logan was sporting a black suit and red tie, carefully polished shoe's with shoe strings that were tied and carefully tucked into his shoes so he would not step or ruin them, his hair was carefully brushed to the side away from his eyes. Carefully adjusting his glasses he looked back to his mother nodding. "Certainty, I was just lost in thought my apologies, could you repeat what you were saying?" He asked politely before adjusting his tie nervously.

His mother gave him a soft smile gently placing her hand over his moving it away from his tie placing them onto his lap "I asked if you were excited about moving in with your uncle this school year? I know your not to fund of the idea of going to a public school this year and being away from us." she said giving his hand a gentle pat with a reassuring smile before she continued. "remember we talked about this?"

he sighed turning his gaze down to his lap remembering the talk far to well, He had just gotten picked up from boarding school for the summer. he was feeling sad because he had to leave for a break, but was also relived because he wouldn't have to listen to kids calling him unoriginal names all day everyday or resort into physical confutation for unknown reasons. as they were pulling out onto the highway his mother and step father had informed him he was moving to Florida with his uncle for the school year to get better at socialization and to help his uncle out who had recently lost his wife in a accident. to say he was happy or excited was a understatement, he had spent weeks trying to convince them he didn't need to go to Florida that he was perfectly fine and didn't need to socialize. that all lead to a argument that made his mother break down and caused him to agree to move.

"Yes I remember, I am not trilled per say , but I suppose it would be nice to see him. and see if I could work at his bakery to earn a little extra money." he replied looking up again facing his mother showing as little emotion as he could. he gave her a small smile "maybe he would like to earn about the constellations during the lunar eclipse next week." trying not to sound excited but he couldn't help but beam with excitement talking about his favorite subject.

she smiled softly placing a hand on his cheek gently stoking it with her thumb. "That's my smart boy, now we should head inside, your grandfather will need us to be his emotional support today alright? I know you do not like emotions or physical contact but he needs us, it's going to be a long day." she said sweetly.

Logan nodded "I understand I shall try best." he replied slowly moving away from her hand. following their lead he stepped out of the car carefully smoothing out any wrinkles he found on his trousers before he closed the door. he watched his step Father and mother hold hands giving each other a peck on the lips before walking towards the door hand in hand. He let out a satisfied sigh before following inside the building.

upon walking into the build it seemed to be surprisingly empty, there were only a few people standing near the casket that laid his grandmother. A elderly man holding said woman hand while a man who seemed to be wearing a blue polo, tan pants and cardigan. Which didn't seem appropriate attar to wear to a funeral but he wasn't going to judge, was talking to his grandfather in a hush whisper he seemed familiar but he couldn't quiet place who he was.

He looked around the room to see a few adults talking to each other scattered around the room, towards the back of the room sat two teens. The younger one who looked to be around the age of 12 was wearing a purple jacket over a black shirt and black skinny jeans. His hair was purple on top and brown on the side's , he seemed to have dark eye shadow under his eyes. He seemed to be listening to music ignoring the other teen who seemed to be talking to him.

The other teen who seemed to be about the same age as Logan 18 was wearing a suit much like himself , his hair was like the younger teens but was styled slightly . The more he looked at the teen the more he felt he knew him, the teen looked up at him stopping his conversation with the younger eyes widen slightly.

He knew that guy, his shock slowly turned into annoyance as he realized who he was. "What is he doing here?" He asked looking towards his mother.

Before she could answer the other teen stood up with a dramatic gasp causing everyone expect the younger who was to engrossed in their music. The other marched over angrily "What are you doing here !" He said a little to loudly.

Logan rolled his eyes crossing his arms letting out a annoyed with. "Obviously I am here to support my grandfather in his time of need, now why may I ask are you here Roman?" He asked standing straight.

Roman stood a few inches taller then Logan the closer he got. Soon they were face to face, Roman standing approximately six inches taller then Logan which made his annoyance go up a couple notches, but he dared not show it keeping his calm and collected attitude.

"Well their my grandparents as well, Unlike you I visited them all the time! unlike you Mr. oh lets leave my family behind and go live a new life away from them!" he shouted angrily making Logan clench his first . anyone in a hundred yard radius could tell that the argument would get out of hand if someone didn't get to back away and take a deep breath.

"Logan!"

"Roman!"

the two teens huffed before turning away from each other to see who was yelling their names. there beside their mother was their step father and the man who was standing near their grandfather. now that Logan got a good look at the man he realized he was his Uncle Patton, the same uncle he was staying with.

"Boys please I know you two have bad blood but please , we are here for your grandfather. please don't fight right now" their mother pleaded looking at them both worriedly. "Logan, Romans darling's please for me?" she was able to keep in contact with Roman all these years and had tried on multiple occasions to get Logan to try and talk to his brother but he had refuse to knowledge his and their fathers existence believing it was their fault for the divorce.

Roman crossed his arms before wrinkling his nose turning his head away "Alright a noble prince is suppose to protect during a fight not cause one, for you mom I shall but not for him." he sneered glaring holes into Logan.

rolling his eye's Logan couldn't help but snort at his actions. he looked towards his mother nodding slightly. "Yes of course I will try to reframe from making anymore comments towards Roman's idiotic behavior." he replied calmly readjusting his tie.

Roman gasped dramatically about to say something before he could say anything their uncle Patton quickly place a hand over his mouth standing between both boys, Logan's step dad stood behind Logan putting a hand on his shoulder giving him a pointed look, a look he knew far to well.

"Boy's I am so disappointed in both of you." Valerie said giving them a sad look. "We are here to be a family and support one another during a time we are hurting not to fight do both of you understand?" she asked sternly putting her hands on her hips making her point be known by both even the two grown men shifted uncomfortably knowing how serious she was. Both boys looked away from her nodding muttering a 'yes ma'am' showing her that they both understood her.

she nodded letting out a frustrated sigh "thank you." looking at the other two adults with pleading eyes, they seemed to understand what her eye's were saying so they both went into action.

"Let's go take a breather kiddo, go get Virgil and we will go outside for a couple minutes." Patton said with a soft smile . Once Roman nodded he slowly removed his hand placing it on his shoulder giving it a gently squeeze.

"Yeah I guess your right, I'm sorry for my outbreak" he sighed softly walking towards the younger teen who must of been Virgil, he carefully took his football Jacket before talking quietly to the younger telling him they needed to go outside, together they walked outside keeping their heads low.

meanwhile Melvin kept his hands on Logan's shoulders. "I think you and I need to have a talk as well what do you think?" he asked gently giving his shoulders a squeeze. when Logan sighed giving up to defeat he nodded in agreement. Melvin looked towards Valerie giving her a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Don't fret love he just needs to let off some steam." he spoke softly to her before taking Logan towards the back of the Funeral home to the last rows of chairs so they could talk leaving Valerie and Patton to talk.

Logan looked behind his shoulder back to his mom he couldn't help but feel dread when he saw the look of worry his mother had watching them. sighing softly he looked forwards holding his head high trying to hid all his emotions to show how serious he was even if he was regretting making his mom feel the way she was. he got ready for the talk he was about to have with his step father.

Patton sighed softly watching the boys walk in different directions of each other to go cool off and regather themselves, he had no idea what had brought up the argument in the first place but he knew they needed to walk away before things got a lot more stressful for everyone. He looked to Valerie giving her a small smile gently placing his hand into hers giving it a gentle squeeze. "You okay there hon?" He asked softly

she sighed holding his hand "No I'm worried Pat, what if Logan moving in with you was a mistake? you saw how he was towards Roman What if he acts that way towards Virgil?" she asked looking at him worriedly "I love him with all my heart and I know he wouldn't act cold towards him but I'm worried Patton." she whispered .

He gave her a small reassuring smile "Val he's going to be fine, You can call or text me day and night I'll be there to answer and tell you whatever you want to know." He promised carefully hugging her which she returned quickly. "Just like I promised for Roman."

she nodded hugging him tightly "Thanks Pat your the best." she whispered , slowly she let him go returning his hand looking to the back of the room seeing Melvin and Logan deep into conversation both had a small smile as they talked, she caught a few weird they were saying like 'Gem' and 'Ruby'. they seemed to be playing a word association which usually calmed Logan down after he became stressed out. smiling softly she turned to face the front doors of the funeral home seeing Roman pace in front of Virgil who seemed annoyed by the other teens Action's. "Pat?"

"Yeah Val?" he asked looking in the direction she was, he couldn't help but smile soft at the two outside remembering a time when they both couldn't stand each other.

"How are you doing after the, you know" she hesitated to ask, looking away from the boy's she faced her friend who seemed to hold a sad smile on his face, she saw a glint of pain In his eye's when she turned to him.

"We're okay better then what Emile thought we would be, Virgil doesn't talk much since the accident last year, when he does it's only few words he tells Emile during therapy, but he's sleeping a lot better then he has been so that's exciting! Yes he refuses to sleep alone just incase he has a nightmare but yeah I'm not complaining that just means he get all the snuggles he wants" he looked at her giving his best cheery look but she could tell he wasn't telling her the truth.

"How's Emile after the divorce?" She quietly gently wrapping her arms around herself.

" he's doing alot better actually, after the two of you had that talk explained both of your sides of the story I think it helped both of you alot." He smiled softly

"Thats good im glad we were able to talk about it" she sighed softly before giving Patton her serious look "how are you holding up?" She asked worriedly.

he stayed quiet looking back to the front sighing softly he shrugged "I'll be okay, for right now my kiddo needs me to be Strong Val, I'm going to go check on the boys ill see you soon." he replied leaving before she could even reply to his statement.

Upon walking outside he could finally let out the breath he didn't relies he was holding , he looked up just in time to see Roman finally stop pacing and take a seat next to Virgil on the bench just right outside of the door. he gave them a small smile walking over to them "feeling any better kiddo?" he asked softly sitting on the other side of Virgil.

Roman shrugged looking at his shoes he had a deep scowl on his face "I guess, it's just he sighed shaking his head not daring to continue.

Patton frowned softly, reaching over the youngest he took a hold of Roman's hand gently squeezing it. "You don't have to tell me what's on your mind right now, but I would like to know what your about to say." He said softly.

He nodded softly holding his hand tightly. "After all these years why now is he here? I mean i know for grandpa but he doesn't need to be that mean." he grumbled looking towards the road watching people pull into the parking lot. "Do you think he knows about you know what?" He asked quietly.

He sighed softly "I don't know Ro, but right now is not the time to bring it up. We will talk to him about it later on okay?" He asked softly "but I need you to be the Prince I know you are, I have a quest for you." He smiled.

Slowly Roman's smile returned he sat up straight readjusting his suit jacket giving Patton a award winning grin "What can I do for you my good sir?" He asked

He chuckled softly "I want to know if you can keep my dear precious Virgil company. See I'm going to be helping my dear friend and my son here is a little anxious wizard and needs someone to protect him from those anxious feelings." he smiled putting a hand on Virgil's shoulder gently not fazed when his son flinched slightly.

Virgil looked up from his phone slowly taking out a ear bud listening to them, he gave them a curious look.

Roman was basically vibrating in his seat, he quickly stood up placing a hand over his heart kneeling in front of them both "weary traveler I shall take your quest to protect this wizard to heart. I Prince Roman shall keep you safe my friend." he smiled holding his hand out to Virgil winking at him.

The 12 year old snorted amused before letting Roman take his hand "Dork" He mutter as he stood up smiling softly holding his hand with a small smile on his lips.

Roman stood up keeping his hand over Virgil's gently giving his hand a gently squeeze. "now that's hurtful but I will put that aside! "He smiled softly before looking towards Patton. "Come on Verge I heard the owner of this place tell Grandpa there's some chocolate muffins in the back room. And when I found them they had our names on them." He said waiting for Patton's permission.

Patton smiled softly nodding " Yeah go on kiddo's, just don’t eat to much okay? And if Logan goes back there make sure you both be nice to him understand?" He asked giving them both a pointed look. "I'm looking at you Roman."

Roman groaned dramatically pulling Virgil onto a hug leaning some of his weight onto him making Virgil giggle slightly. "Fine, we will try but I'm not promising anything right Virgil?" he asked swaying side to side.

Virgil looked down towards the ground letting his hair fall in front of his eyes so they couldn't see his face. "I'm always nice." He replied looking at Roman with a fake annoyed look.

He chuckled standing up putting a hand on his hips "alright alright , now come on you two let's get in there and show everyone what noble Prince you are , and what a mighty Wizard Virgil is." he smiled booping them both on the nose.

Both boys smiled widely nodding. Together Roman and Virgil walked hand in hand back into the building leaving Patton to go back into the man room to be with Valerie and the family while they are some cookies and muffins.

The Funral it went off without any fighting, Logan sat with his mom and stepdad who sat with her father, while Roman Virgil and Patron say in the Row behind them. They kept their peace during the service and baryrel service. Their was alot of crying and akward emotions and hugs from people the boys had no idea who they were, a couple times after the services Roman had to take Virgil outside to take a break from the people crowding around them and people trying to get him to talk or hug them ignoring both Patron and Romans warnings. Thankfully they didn't cause a anxiety attack. It was now Ten at night they were outside of their Grandpa's house getting ready to leave, it was time for Logan to say goodbye to his parents and go with Patton to Florida to start a new school year.

Logan stood next to Melvin, he was now changed into his black polo shirt, light blue tie and jeans. He sighed softly carefully taking his suitcase from Melvin giving him a slightly annoyed look. "You are 100% sure you do not wish for me to return home with you and mom?" He asked showing he was hopeful that he would say yes.

"Logan we talked about this , it's only for the school year. We all want you to make friends and be more comfortable around people so you can be yourself." Melvin replied closing the trunk giving him a small smile. "Besides this will give you a chance to get to know your cousin Virgil more."

He huffed crossing his arms. "I know plenty about him, also I am perfectly capable of enjoying my highschool career without any friends." He replied looking away from Melvin.

He sighed softly shaking his head. "Lo look at me please." He said softly gently placing his hand onto his shoulder waiting for Logan to look up. "Me and your mom love you so much , we would do anything for you, but right now we think this is best. One day you will thank us for doing this."

"I highly doubt that but I will no longer put up a argument. It seems you both had made up your minds."he replied standing straight showimg that he was being serious with his 'I don't care' additude. "But i will still have contact with the both of you correct?" He asked adjusting his glasses nervously habit he picked up during his time at boarding school.

Laughing slightly Melvin pulled him into a tight hug "of course we will, we wouldn't dream of not talking to you, Lo you and your mom are my world and if one piece is missing we wouldn't be able to survive." He said carefully holding him in his arms, making sure he knew he wasn't going to let him go.

Logan surprisingly hugged him back closing his eyes "that is satisfactory " he whispered leaning into the hug. He wasn't much for physical contact but the hug he was getting at that exact moment made him wish it would never end.

Sadly not long after the hug did end. Melvin pulled away smiling softly at the teen. "Now how about we bring your things to Patton's van and you can tell your mom goodbye." He suggested placing his hands on Logan's shoulders.

Nodding Logan reluntically agreed following him to Patton's car were Valerie stood with Patton. They seemed to be deep in conversation by the time they got their .

Patton was the first to notice them. He turned to face them smiling widely "hey kiddo all set? we have a four hour drive back to my house so I hope we don't forget anything" He smiled clapping his hands together.

"I believe so, I have double checked and triple checked my lougage to make sure I have not forgotten anything."he replied stopping infront of the two. He frowned Noticing Virgil wasn't with them. "If I may ask, where is Virgil? We have a schedule we need to keep."

Patton frowned and looked around he suddenly relized where his son was. "Oh yeah, Roman took him inside for a bit, today's been a bit to much for him." He replied with a sad smile.

Logan frowned when he heard Roman was still here, why hadn't their father picked him up? Why was he still here? "Why is he still here ?" He asked before he relized he was asking it was to late, it was already out and in the open.

"You didn't tell him?" Patton frowned looking at Valerie who gave him a apologetic look.

"Tell me what?" Logan frowned not liking the look his mom gave his uncle.

"I've been meaning too, but everytime I try we get distracted and it slips my mind."she said rubbing the back of her neck. she looked towards Logan giving him a sad smile "Logan sweetheart there's something I've been meaning to tell both you and Roman." she said softly gently taking his hand into hers.

Before he could say anything Roman came out of the building with Virgil, Roman dressed in jeans and a white shirt, he was carrying a Virgil's jacket in a plastic bag . Virgil seemed to be wearing purple fuzzy pajama pant's, with a black shirt, he was wearing Roman's football jacket the sleeves seemed to go over his hands. He was holding Roman's hand tightly looking sad.

"Sorry for taking so long that beast Grandpa calls a dog snuck up behind up and got into Virgil's over night bag snatching his jacket while he was changing. I chased that dreaded beast to the bathroom but sadly by the time I was able to catch him he had disposed of Virgil's jacket into the toilet." He sighed stopping in front of Patton giving him the bag. "Wait why is he still here?" He asked noticing Logan.

"awe kiddo" he frowned taking the bag into his hands "Let's get this into the back, I think Aunt Val needs to talk to Ro and Lo okay?" he asked with a soft smile holding his hand out waiting patiently.

Virgil carefully went over to Patton taking his hand. He sighed sadly looking at his jacket in the bag "okay" he whispered

Patton smiled holding his hand happily walking to the van giving them privacy to have their conversation.

Logan and Roman gave each other curious glances before looking towards their mother giving her matching frowns.

Valerie sighed softly looking from them to Melvin. "Boys there's something I need to tell you but I forgot to." She sighed softly

"Wait your pregnant!" Roman gasped looking at her shocked making Logan face palm.

"No, no I'm not pregnant."she said quickly. She let go of Melvins hand and took both of the boys instead. "Roman you know how you and your dad moved in with your uncle Patton last year?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, because we didn't want them to be alone." He replied holding her hand frowning.

"Right , well Logan is going to be living with you guys this school year. " She said softly watching both of them waiting for them to react.

Logan's eyes widen slightly, He looked from his mom to Roman. He had refused to talk to either of them since the divorce how could he live with them when he didn't want to speak to them. He opened his mouth to say something but Roman was quick to speak.

"What! I can not live with this nerd! I have a certent life style I must live ! He will only cramp it with his nerdy ways !" Roman cried dramatically pointing to Logan letting go of of his mother's hand "he will ruin it with his lectures about proper eating and sleeping schedules or whatever like a elderly man!" He stomped his foot like he was throwing a tantrum while crossing his arms.

"Roman please stop being so dramatic, I would only do that if you were living a unhealthy life style." Logan replied rolling his eyes slightly annoyed

"Dramatic! I'm not dramatic , you want dramatic go to the aquarium and stress out a squid , then you will see who's more dramatic, they eat themselves might I add! I for onw do not eat myself"

Logan face palmed shaking his head before looking at his brother not believing his ears. "you mean octopus? They are the ones who eat themselves Roman , not squids."He sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

"What ever nerd, point is I am not dramatic and will not be living by your nerdy life style." He replied guving Logan a pointed look.

"Fine by me , I will not be living by your unrealistic life style as well. I shall maintain my cultured living while you live like the barbarian you are ."he shot back.

Both Brothers growled while giving each other nasty looks to each other , they only stopped when Melvin stepped between them making them take a step back.

"Okay you don't have to stay live like each other , all I ask is that you " she said pointing to Roman " try and be sensitive to how your brother feels about the move Okay? , and you " she said pointing to Logan " please try not to go overboard with your schedules and planning." She said softly .

They both stayed quiet for a minute thinking over their motherd request. Sighing they both nodded mumbling a 'Yes ma'am'

"Good, now come give me a hug okay ?" She asked holding her arms out.

Roman was the first one to give her a hug, he carefully bent his knees slightly so he was able to rest his head on her shoulder.

Melvin looked to Logan expecting him to only want to hug his mom, but to his suprise he felt arms wrap around him tightly. He smiled softly hugging the brainy Teen. "Have some fun Lo, just think in two days the lunar eclipse will come and teach everyone about it."he smiled.

Logan closed his eyes hiding his face in his shoulder care not to break his glasses "thank you for being my dad. Please take care of my mom while i am away." He whispered so only he could hear.

"Of course, I'll protect her don't worry, the year will go by fast. And you never know you might havw alot of fun with your dad and brother?" He whispered softly holding onto him.

Roman held onto his mom sighing softly "he's not going to like living with us mom, he's to uptight not likw when we were younger." He whispered to her.

Valerie held him in her arms , she smiled softly at him. "He just needs to know you still need him. And he needs to remeber he needs you his brave Prince brother . It's going to be okay I already talked to your dad about this and he agrees that it's time for this. Not just for him but for all three of you." She whispered kissing his cheek gently before giving him one last squeeze before letting him go.

"Love you mom, I hope you guys can come visit us soon"he smiled before heading to Melvin who had let Logan go.

She smiled with a "of course." Bwfore she hugged Logan who didn't have to bend to hug his mom. She held him in her arms "Logan promise me you will try and have fun? not just for me but for your brother and dad." She whisper gently stroking his cheek.

Logan was trying hard not to show emotion, he tried to keep his voice even but he couldn't stop quiver of his lips as he spoke. " I just want to stay with you. I do not wish to leave you and dad." He whispered it was the first time he had called Melvin dad . He and Valerie had been together ever since Logan was twelve, now eighteen he was finally comfortable calling him dad.

"I know sweetie , I know but it will be good for all of you , it will help heal your heart Logan. I'm only a text and phone call away , day or night we will awnser Okay? No hesitation."She promised kissing his forehead . She stood up straight placing her hands on his cheeks gently wiping a tear he had let fall. "You will have fun I promise just don't build a wall over your heart okay?"

He nodded slightly placing his hand over hers "I'll try."He whispered hugging her again. Reluctantly letting her go.

Patton came back to the group with Virgil, He smiled softly watching them "awe no one told me we were missing out on a group hug." He fake pouted.

Valerie laughed wiping her own tears away "Sorry Pat we got caught up in the moment." She smiled going over to give her friend a hug. "Please take care of my boys." She whispered.

He smiled hugging her back "of course Val, I'll keep both eyes on them."He promised .

She smiled letting him go "Virgil it was so good seeing you hon, you've gotten so big, is it okay if i give you a hug?" She smiled waiting for permission.

Virgil blushed slightly looking down towards the ground nodding. Once she hugged him he quickly gave her a hug before nodding behind Patton.

Patton chuckled softly "alright kiddos let's get this show on the road , we have a long car ride back to the house!" he smiled letting go of Virgil's hand.

Roman grinned when Virgil replaced Pattons hand for Roman. "Of course we don't want to be on the road all night! Let us go my Friendly Wizard, the back seat has out name on it if I have power to my tablet maybe we can watch the nightmare before Christmas." He winked walking towards the car.

Logan watched them go towards the car , he stood up straight taking a deep breath , he slowly let it out taking the handle of his suit case walking towards the car to dispose of his things into the trunk.

Patton gave Valerie one last hug promising he would call her once Logan was settled in before he walked towards the car making sure Logan's things were safely in the trunk and Roman and Virgil had a blanket to keep them warm.

Once everyone was in their seats Patton gave them a smile "you guys ready? we have a four to five hours till we get home so get comfortable Okay? And remeber if anyone needs to stop for anything please let me know. Ro, Verge do you need any medicine to help if you feel nausus?" He asked digging through the middle counsel for some the medication he mentions.

"I think thay will be best Uncle Pat thank you."Roman smiled taking the medicine from his uncle carefully handing Virgil the tablet to get their movie set up while he got medicine.

He smiled looking to Logan " Lo would you like some , it's suppose to help you sleep and settle your stomach if you get car sick." He said buckling up.

"Thank you but I do not believe I require any medication , but thank you." He replied giving his own small smile of his own.

"Okay just let me know alright." He smiled starting the car pulling out of the driveway onto the main road.

Logan looked out his window watching Valerie and Melvin waving at him as they pulled away from the house . He lifted his left hand up before waving back. 'This is it, I am completely alone now.' He thought to himself as he turned into his seat facing forward trying to calculate how long it would be till he was able to see his parents again.

The drive home had been surprisingly quiet, Patton had figured the boys would get into it when Logan asked if he could put in a autobook about Pluto. But surprisingly Virgil and Roman had turned off their movie to listen it. Virgil even asked Logan why Pluto wasn't seen as a planet anymore, Logan's eye's lit up while he explained why scientist have deemed Pluto no longer apart of the planet family, Even Roman put aside his stubborn attitude towards his brother and started asking him questions, Patton couldn't have been more proud.

Once the Clock read 2:30 they were only thrity minutes away from home which Patton was greayful for and so was his back , he carefully looked into the rear view mirror making sure Roman and Virgil were doing okay in the back seat. They had been quiet for the past fifteen minutes which was odd for Roman.

Roman was sitting straight in his seat , head leaning back while his mouth opened slightly as he breathed evenly a slight snore was heard. Virgil was curled up on his side head rested on Roman's lap , headphones gently placed over his ears and blanket comfortably draped over his body.

Smiling softly he put his eyes back onto the road before looking to his right seeing, Logan resting his head against the window, his glasses threaten to fall into his lap the way his head hung a bit, his well kept hair was now hanging over his face.

chuckling softly Patton reached over to his phone which was in the cupholder in the middle console, carefully going through his contacts keeping his eye's on the road he finally found the number he was looking for placing it to his ear.

after a couple seconds of ringing he was finally greeted with a tired "Hello?" from the other end of the phone.

"Hey Em! I'm about twenty minutes away from the house I'm going to stop and get some gas before I come home, I'm going to need your help we got a car full of sleeping kiddo's and I'm going to need your help carrying them in." He chuckled softly carefully pulling off the highway to the nearest gas stations.

"Yeah of course just text me when you get here." Emile yawned carefully sitting up on the couch "Pat, did you pick up Logan?" he asked softly

Turning off the car Patton set out carefully closing the door before getting ready to pump the gas "i got him, He's so big Em I mean Roman's got him beat on hight but still." He smiled softly "and smart we just talked for two hours about space , even Virgil asked a couple questions."

"Thats great! But Pat I'm so nervous about this , last time I talked to Valerie she told me he blamed me and Roman for everything, he refuses to listen to her about our talk we had. What if this is a mistake? What if this is just a dream that isnt ment to come true?" He asked sounding worried.

"Emile your worrying for nothing. It will be rough at first but with time it will get better."He replied leaning on the back of the car "you know what good ol' uncle iroh would say."

"Life happens wherever you are , whether you want it or not?" He asked tilting his head slightly grabbing his shoes and jacket.

"No although that would go great in this situation, no I was thinking more of when he said ' you must never give into dispair. Allow yourself to slip down the road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.' " he replied using his best Uncle iroh impression.

Emile stayed quiet for a few moments thinking about what Patton had told him before sighing "I guess your right Pat, I should have known you would use cartoon quotes on me, have you "

Patton chuckled paying for the gas before getting back into his car "I learned from the best " he smiled starting the car "Okay I'm heading to the house now, give me 15 minutes." He smiled making sure the boys were still okay before he began to drive.

"Okay Patton just make sure your careful Okay? I'll keep a eye out for you "he promised stepping into the kitchen. And Patron, thank you for everything."

Smiling softly he keeping his eyes on the road " hey don't mention it , your my family and so are tour boys, don't hesitate to ask for help okay?"

He chuckled softly shaking his head again"Okay I won't, love you pat." He smiled

Patton smiled softly "love you to Em." He replied before hanging up his phone placing it back into the cup holder, He couldn't help his smile grow wider as he thought back to a few months ago when his brother and Roman moved in with him and Virgil, before the plan of Logan moving in with him for the school year.

Finally the long Car ride had came to a end as Patton pulled into his driveway in front of his house around three in the morning. he let out a long sigh as he turned off the car leaning back into his seat taking a moment to just close his eye's before he had to wake up the oldest of the boys. Taking a deep breath he slowly opened his eye's Looking towards the front door just in time to see his brother Emile walking out of the house towards them.

he carefully unbuckled his seat before gently placing his hand on Logan's shoulder gently shaking him. "Logan we're here, let's wake up a little okay?" he spoke softly careful not to spook him awake.

Slowly Logan opened his eye's, the sudden contact waking him up slightly enough to make him aware what the other was saying but not enough for him to respond to him with full sentences. he lifted his hand to rub his eyes behind his glasses as he sat up. "hm?"he hummed looking towards Patton .

He gave the teen a soft smile "I'm going to take you up to your room so you can go back to sleep okay?" He asked softly "I'm going to wake Ro so he and your dad can get the bag's while I get Virgil to bed. but I'll make sure your luggage is in your room, so when you wake up you can change and get ready for the day" he said cheerfully

Logan blinked slowly taking in the new information he was given, he yawned slightly nodding showing he understood what Patton had told him. "Okay." He replied slowly unbuckling his seat belt before he opened the door waiting to get out.

Patton smiled softly before he turned to face the back seat carefully shaking Roman's leg. "Roman, Roman wake up."he called softly careful not to wake his dark strange son.

Roman startled awake with a snort, holding his fist up ready to fight "I'm the Prince I didn't take anything!" He called out looking around frantically looking for his attacker.

"Shh Ro, your okay it's me, Uncle Patton." He held his hands in front of him showing he meant no harm. He glanced towards Virgil hoping he hadn't been woken up. Thankfully Virgil only curled up tighter against Roman's lap, pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

"Uncle Pat?" Asked the sleepy prince as he yawned, stretched his arms above his head as far as they would go before sleepily looking towards Patton. "I almost hit you sorry about that." he smiled sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

he chuckled softly giving him a warm smile "It's fine Ro, we're back home so I need your help getting Logan and Virgil's bags into the dinning room with your dad okay?" He told him Just as Emile got to the back of the car opening up the trunk to grad the luggage

"Okay I can do that, but I'm kind of trapped by Verge at the moment." he smiled unbuckling his seat belt trying not to disturb Virgil. He carefully picked up the tablet placing it back into Virgil's backpack. "do you want me to try and put his headphones in his backpack ?"he asked looking up towards Patton.

"No it's okay I'll take care of it once we are inside." He whispered carefully putting his hand under Virgil's head carefully lifting his head so Roman was able to slip his leg away carefully. "There you go I'll get them inside." he smiled softly carefully lowering Virgil's head back onto the seat.

Roman smiled opening his door taking Virgil's backpack into his hands, he carefully go out closing the door quietly as he walked to his dad, leaving Patton with the task of getting the other two into the house. the only thing Patton heard from Roman before disappearing to the back was. "Awe is that the king of this beautiful kingdom!"

he chuckled softly getting out of the car pocketing his phone before he carefully opening up Virgil's door. kneeling down he gently placed a hand on his leg gently rubbing it easing him out of his sleep slow and carefully so he doesn't scare him. slowly Virgil's head moved out of the blanket so Patton could see his eye's blink sleepily at him.

carefully removing the headphones from Virgil's head Patton gave him a soft smile. "Hey there kiddo sorry to wake you but we're home. let's get you into bed okay?" he asked holding his hand out for his son to take it.

Virgil slowly blinked reaching out both hands opening and closing them making a grabbing gesture, he let out a quiet grunt slowly sitting up to make it easier for Patton to pick him up. He gave him a slight pout in hopes Patton would understand what he wanted in that moment.

Patton cooed happily picking up his kiddo holding him close, chuckling softly he stood up as Virgil snuggled closer to him going back into a deep sleep , carefully closing the car door. He made his way to Logan who was now standing by the front door waiting for him. "Alrighty let's get you to your room lo."

Logan nodded as he followed Patton towards his new room, he was much to tired to really have a good look around but he did notice a couple family photo's. He even had a photo of his mom and Melvin wedding photos. He was sure he hadn't attended the wedding.

Further down the hallway Patton stopped in front of a room that had the a couple signs on the door. One of the signs had the saying 'Virgil's room Stay out!' In purple marker, the words were in Cursive handwriting the best Logan has seen next to his. Under the writing in red print was the words ' and Roman's room'. the other sign looked to be made by a child which was strange, as far as he knew the only children in the house would be him, Roman, and Virgil. shaking off the feeling he read the sign with a slight frown 'Logan, Roman, and Virgil's room enter only if you know the secret code!'

"Here's your room kiddo, I hope your okay sharing with Roman and Virgil, We only have three rooms and your dad has the other spare by my room. but it will mostly be you and Ro , Virgil hasn't been able to sleep in his bed alone so he's usually in my room with me."

Logan looked to Patton frowning a bit wondering why Virgil stayed with Patton, but he held his question deciding it was better to wait till they all were more awake and willing to talk about it. " I appreciate it thank you for allowing me to come into your home and stay." he yawned Adjusting his tie so it was easier to take off when he was ready for bed.

Patton smiled carefully placing a hand on his shoulder "No problem kiddo if you need anything tonight me and your dad are just down the hall, don't hesitate to come get us, we will be happier if you woke us up then having you sit and suffer alone." he said in a serious tone.

nodding Logan reached to open the bedroom door, once he was able to look into the room he could tell that this room was meant to be the master bedroom due to how much space there was, in the room there was a full over full bunkbed on the left side of the room. the top bed had a red comforter with four large gold colored pillows, the bed also had a stitch doll resting on the pillows. the bottom bed only had one pillow with a purple comforter, the bed looked as if it hasn't been slept in a while. On the pillow laid a old looking stuff black cat that had a purple ribbon around it's throat. the only light in the room was a small desk lamp on the dresser next to a fish tank that had a couple neon fish swimming carefree through the aquarium.

the room had one big dresser in between two desks, one held a couple sport trophies, ribbons , as well as a couple certificates for athletic abilities. And a picture frame of younger versions of Roman in the arms of their father who seemed to be wearing a cap and gown graduating from college. the other desk was littered with different colored pencils, markers and crayons, there was a couple crumbled pieces of paper scattered on the desk surface. In the middle of the room was a air mattress that had a dark blue blanket draped across it with a couple of pillow's. laying on the pillow was a small black leather notebook

"we'll go to the store later this week to get you a bed, dresser and a desk so you feel more at home." Patton chuckled softly following Logan into the room. He walked over towards the bed with the Purple comforter carefully picking up the black cat, he held it in his hands being very diligently likw he was afraid he he held it for two long it would turn to dust in his hands. "I'll let you get settled see you when everyone wakes up Lo."He smiled softly walking towards the door holding the stuff cat and Virgil close.

Logan nodded walking towards the air Matress carefully picking up the black notebook, he looked back to Patton giving him a questionable look. "Um, Uncle Patton? Why is there a notebook here on the pillow?" He asked frowning

Patton looked back and smiled " Oh the notebook! We all have one, it's a idea your dad started after his first couple therapy session! He had the idea that through out the week we write down how our day is going, or we can sketch in it, anything! And on Friday night before our movie night we all have a family meeting and share one or more things in our journals, but we have the option of not to we dont want to be push and respect each others personal space, but we do want everyone to join and share if their comfortable. and I think it would be a great idea to start because you boy's are starting school Monday" He replied trying to keep his cheerful attitude in check careful not to make his sleeping son.

He looked from Patton to the notebook frowning softly, that sounded like a lot of emotions he wasn't willing to deal with , but writing down his frustrations did seem logical. "Thank you I will take what you said into consideration." He replied nodding slightly Giving Patton a small smile. "Thank you uncle Patton, now if you may I would like to return to sleep so I may try and fix what's left of my sleep schedule." he replied gently placing the notebook down next to the pillow along with his phone to tired to answer any messages he may have gotten.

he smiled softly holding the door handle stepping out of the room. he smiled softly "Night lo, get some rest." he smiled before closing the door leaving him to get more rest, he walked towards his bedroom frowning as he noticed his bedroom was opened. carefully he peeked his head in making sure everything was in order.

Sitting there on his side of the king size bed was his brother Emile, sighing softly Patton walked into the room going towards the other side of the bed carefully pulling the covers back he gently placed Virgil down under the covers carefully not to jostle him to much as he pulled the covers over him placing the stuff kitten next to his head. Virgil snuggled closer to the mattress carefully moving his arm around the stuff kitten bringing it closer to his chest as he let out a content sigh holding a soft smile on his lips, bangs falling over his face as he carefully nuzzled his face into the pillow.

Patton smiled softly carefully brushing his bangs away from his face, he looked up to see Emile watching hi. "Where's Ro? I would of thought he would be in your room telling you all about the 'dreadful day' his words not mine." he chuckled softly walking over to his brother carefully taking a seat next to him finally removing his shoe's for the first time that day.

Emile chuckled softly rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh trust me he gave me some details, but you know how he can get when he's tired. So once I got him laid down on my bed to continue talking he made the mistake of asking me what I thought, within five minutes he was out like a light." he sighed softly looking at his hands before sitting up straight "thank you for picking him up Pat, I wont lie when I say I'm excited for what the future holds but also nervous."

he smiled putting a hand on his brothers shoulder "I'm excited too, I cant wait to see what's going to happen! hopefully your able to talk to them both. "he smiled before yawning slightly, he smiled sheepishly "sorry Em I'm kind of tried, it's been a long day, if you still need to talk I'm here." he replied

"It's okay Pat, I'm thinking about heading to bed if Roman hasn't taken up the whole bed, for a king size bed It sure doesn't hold a six in a half foot tall teen who still finds comfort in being close to their dad." he chuckled standing up heading towards the door. "Night Pat love you." he didn't wait for a reply as he walked towards his bedroom closing Patton's door before he left.

Patton smiled softly laying back onto his pillow's letting his body melt into the mattress not bothering to change into his pajama's he placed his glasses on the nightstand next to the bed before settling in for the rest of the night, he closed his eye's listening to the steady sound of Virgil's even breathing he slowly drifted off to sleep, the last thing one his mind was simply he hoped his brother was able to reconnect with both of his sons, and that Logan was about to let his father and brother back into his heart.

To say this week went off without any problems would be a understatement, it started out well Emile and Patton took the boys to the store Sunday around noon to help get Logan's bedroom things, a couple new outfit's as well as school supplies for the next day. Emile and Logan exchanged a few words through out the day but not enough to start a full conversation. that night they were able to watch a couple Disney movies before heading off to bed which caused a little spat between both Roman and Logan because Logan didn't find it logical that Roman had to sing alone to every sing, which caused Roman to yell that 'his face was illogical.' but was quickly solved by Emile offering they watch a space documentary the next night, which Logan quickly agreed to.

the following morning had been a struggle trying to keep up with the first day of school jitters, Logan was up and dressed a hour before he had to leave to catch the bus with Roman, he even had a healthy breakfast of eggs and toast with crofters. Emile had a struggle trying to get Roman out of bed to even get dressed after almost forty minutes Roman was out of bed dressed and dragging his feet to get out the door, which made Logan really annoyed. As the day went by the mood got worse after finding out they shared half of their classes together, some of the football and drama club asked Roman why there was a guy who looked like him sitting near him on the bus, roman replied with, 'Just my lame twin brother, don't worry about him he's like a robot doing the same thing over and over.'. Yes Logan didn't like his brother much , and yes he's heard those words over and over at boarding school but he didn't expect it hurt as much as it did.

the first week of school was absolutely horrible for Logan, but he kept his face serious and kept his emotions in check , he didn't even tell his mom how he was feeling about school, or about the kids who decided he was a easy target and took it out on him physically and mentally. instead he took advantage of the notebook he was given the first night he arrived. his notebook had eight pages already filled with his 'feelings' of the week.

By the time Friday night had arrived Roman and Logan were already at each others throats shouting at each other about the importance's of keeping their bedroom clean and their personal belongings up off the floor. Emile sat in the living room sighed glancing over to Patton watching him look frantically looking for Vigil's sound proof headphones to help block out the sound of the boys arguing.

"Roman! Logan! please sit down ! we are having a family meeting now! " Emile called suddenly making Roman, Logan, Virgil and Patton jump at the sudden loud noise coming from the normally calm guy. The twins gave each other annoyed looks before sitting on opposite sides of the room holding their notebooks in their hands.

Patton sighed sitting next to Emile handing Virgil his head phones "Okay how about we start this meeting off by reading something we wrote in our notebook's? how about me and Em stat okay?" he asked waiting for the boys to nod in agreement, once they all nodded Patton opened his notebook and began to read his passage for the day.

' Dear Journal, Today is Tuesday August 20th, today I picked up my dark strange son from school and together we went out for some ice cream to spend some father son time. We talked about everything and anything today, we talked about how he was liking school , to thinking about getting a cat, which turned to Virgil telling me he doesn't want to get a kitten no matter how much he wants one he wouldn't want to spend that time worrying whether I can breath or not. I hope that we can have more time like this I think it would be a great way to bond. until tomorrow yours truly Patton.'

Roman smirked gently bumping shoulders with Virgil who looked down blushing slightly "Whoa Virgil when did you get so chatty? I guess we will have to except some chats soon and I'm looking forward to it my favorite wizard." he smiled softly putting his arm on the back of the couch.

Emile smiled softly watching as both boys slowly started to relax going back to their normal relaxed selves as the meeting continued, now all they needed to do was show Logan that it was okay to relax and have fun every once and a while. "Okay my turn

'Dear journal today is Wednesday and let me just say it was the best day ever, I started my day with a amazing conversation with my youngest son Logan, we had our first full conversation in years, it lasted almost two hours! we talked about space, cartoons gems! I even got to play 'word association game' , the last time I played that with him was when he was 10, he had the chicken pox and couldn't go to school. I missed having these conversation with him, I miss when we were close. I hope this is the start of the new chapter in our life.'

Logan looked to his lap shifting awkwardly looking down to his notebook, he didn't say anything just listened to everyone talk trying to think of what he could say instead of reading what he wrote in the notebook.

Patton smiled "Very good Em! Virgil would you like to go next? remember you don't have to tell us what you write In your notebook, you can tell us anything! Like something you learned at school today." He encouraged giving his son a warm smile hoping that he could feel comfortable opening up.

Virgil nodded slowly looking at his purple notebook before looking up again , he carefully tucked his notebook under his leg before playing with his hoody strings. "I have a new friend, his name is Remy, he always wears sunglasses inside and sneaks Starbucks into school . He said his older brother Thomas is in the high school drama club with Ro. But he graduated last year" He said quietly saying more in front of people then he has in a long while.

Roman gasped looking at Virgil shocked "No way! Your friends with Thomas Sanders brother? thee Thomas Sanders who was the lead of last year's musical, the one who offered to give me tips when I couldn't get my solo quiet right?" He asked a little loudly

Virgil winced slightly at the sudden outburst "yeah." He replied wondering if it was bad they were friends.

"That's amazing !"he replied softly , Virgil looked up at him shocked " I hope this Remy is as kind as his older brother." He smiled softly giving Virgil a thumbs up like he approved of his friend choice.

Virgil blushed looking away shrugging softly with a small smile that he his behind his hoody covered hand.

Roman grinned before he stood up quickly placing a hand over his heart "I shall go next! My entry is a glorious description about how crummy no good week!" He sighed picking up his notebook before giving a glare to Roman, he cleared his throat before he began.

"Dear journal! This week has been nothing but garbage! First it all started when my annoying brother came to move in with us. He's Ruining everything with his schedules and his 'we gave to be on time' act , I don't believe he is actually concerned about us being on time , I think he just wants to his the fact that he's a robot who wants to take over the world! How i am related to something like that is unknown'

He read nodding his head like he had just solved the world's hardest case, a case not even Sherlock could solve.

"Roman! I am very disappointed in you! Apologize to your brother right now!" Emile said sternly giving Roman a disappointed look. He was outraged that Roman would be so to read something so hurtful to his brother infront of his face.

Logan carefully ripped out a page in his notebook before he stood up keeping his head hung low, he pushed his glasses up "No it's okay I can tell i am not wanted here , if you would please excuse me I wish to retire for the night. Thank you for letting me into your home and I apologize for ruining your week."He said walking towards his new room leaving his notebook behind, before he went into his room he three the page away.

When Emile heard the door close he gave Roman a upset look. "Roman go into my room and think about what you have done, I would like you to write a apology to Logan while you are in there. I am very disappointed in you and how you are treating your little brother." He said pointing to the hall way.

Roman did as he was told without another word, he grabbed his notebook walking towards his dad's room, the closer he got to the room the more he started to regret what he had actually said to his brother.

Patton frowned worriedly he looked towards Virgil giving him a small smile "Hey Virgil I just remembered I forgot to pick something up from the store how about you go get shoes on and just you and me can head out okay?" He asked figuring Emile needed time alone with both boys.

Virgil nodded before getting up his notebook held close to his chest as he walked towards Patton's room to get his shoes so he could leave with his dad.

Emile looked at Patton shaking his head "i don't know what to do Patton, I'm trying so hard to do the right thing here but I feel like every time we take a step forward we take ten back." He sighed putting his head in his hands.

Patton frowned softly he carefully wrapped his arms around his brother holding him tight trying to think of ways to help his brother. His eyes suddenly light up as a idea hit him. "Em you trust me right?" he asked trying to hid his smile.

He looked up frowning tilting hid head confused "of course I do Pat, why would you even ask me that?" He asked worried that the boys fighting was starting to effect his brother in different ways then one. Suddenly Patton stood up grabbing Emile's hand dragging him to Roman and Logan's room. He placed him in front of the door before retreating to the room were Roman was. He sighed leaning against the wall wondering what Patton was planning he listened to see if he could hear any noises from the bedroom, his eye's widen slightly when he heard sniffling.

Patton soon returned dragging a confused looking Roman, he smiled opening the door gently shoving Roman in before turning to Emile giving him a small smile, he closed the door locking it from the outside "I wont unlock this door until you talk, we cant have you two at each other's throat's all the time, so talk and clear the air. " he called smiling softly looking towards Emile "Now I'm heading to the store with Virgil you listen in and give your opinion when they get out of hand, like what mom and dad did for us." he winked before walking to his bedroom to see if Virgil needed help with finding his shoes, leaving a stunned Emile to listen in to the conversation happening behind the door.

Roman was confused when Patton had suddenly came into his dads room and grabbed his hand without saying a word, he was even more confused when he was dragged to his bedroom and shoved in. hearing Patton tell them they had to talk it didn't rub Roman the right way, their argument was still fresh in his mind as well as what he had told Logan he wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go.

huffing Roman looked towards Logan's side of the room freezing slightly noticing Logan sat hunched over facing the wall, his shoulders were shaking slightly. 'you messed up big time' he thought to himself as he walked slowly towards his desk puling out his desk chair "Logan? I know this may seem stupid but are you okay?" he asked slowly sitting in the desk chair looking towards his brother.

Logan turned his head to face the other way carefully removing his glasses placing them next to him were his phone and notebook sat. "Roman, I would appreciate some time alone, I do not wish to speak to you at this very moment. besides I thought you said I was ruining your week?" He replied his normal calm cool and collected voice cracked as if he was crying. when Roman heard a sniffle it was like he was punched in the gut.

"well I mean you kind of are. but I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings, if there is anything I could do to make you feel better I will do it." he promised leaning forward tp place a hand on Logan's shoulder.

he moved away quickly, he turned his head to look at Roman eye red and puffy they were full of tear's, cheeks were damp because of the tears that had already fallen, Roman recognized the look quickly, he hadn't seen his brother that distressed since they both found out their parents were getting divorced and Logan was leaving with their mom. "You are not sorry in the slightest! besides I thought you said I didn't have emotions, that I was some kind of 'emotionless Robot.'" he said looking away again.

He needed to think fast looking around the room he remembered his dairy he kept under his pillow. carefully standing up he walked over towards the bunk bed standing on top of Virgil's bed reaching under the bars grabbing the red leather book that was under one of his Pillow's . carefully he sat down where he was standing opening up to the newest page he had written, he sighed softly before he began to read.

'Dear dairy today I feel really strange, You see my twin brother Logan just moved in with us so he could get closer to our dad and I, but it seems like he rather stay closed up and ignore our exitance then try to get closer to us. But that's not why I feel strange, I feel strange because I would of thought I would be angry at him for not having contact with us for eight years, but instead I'm feeling more relived then anything, I am so relieved we got this chance to be together again, not only relived I'm excited more excited then when I was able to go see heathers live with my mom when she visited last summer! I cant wait till we are able to be as close as we were when we were little, I know it's going to take a while before we both can be that close again but I believe my little brother and I will be like that soon. Today I said something I shouldn't have at school today to some of my friends, I told them some hurtful things about Logan I probably shouldn't have, I wish I could take it back now but I don't know how. He found out about what I said and now we have been fighting non stop for the past couple days Dad has asked me to try not to fight with him but I don't know what we are even fighting about half the time, but I will try to make a conscious effort to not fight with him for now on, with help from dad I believe we all three can be close again that thought in it's self is exciting in itself. yours truly Prince Roman.'

Roman set his diary down on his lap looking towards Logan, he could see he slowly turned towards Roman putting his glasses on he carefully wipes his eye's with the back of his hand sniffling softly. Roman moved towards Logan's bed sitting next to him looking down at his hands "Lo, I didn't mean what I said out there, I was still mad about our argument though I cant remember what we were even fighting about." he admitted rubbing the back of his neck.

"The importance of keeping a bedroom that is shared by three other people clean." Logan reminded slowly sitting next to Roman. he sighed softly looking at him adjusting his tie nervously. "I accept your apology, however I would also like to apologies that I have not gotten in contact with you sooner, I had believed for years that the reason Mom had moved to London was because of you and dad, now looking back on it I now know that the idea was illogical to believe in such a lie but I couldn't help it." He sighed softly looking towards the ground, he suddenly flinched when he felt Roman put his hand into his own holding it tight.

"I understand I blamed mom every time I found dad crying in his room. but I think we should put all of this in the past and focus on moving forward." He said squeezing their hands softly Looking him face to face "Lo your my baby brother and I will always forgive and protect you, even if we aggravate each other. it's my Job to keep you safe"

Logan snorted softly shaking his head as more tears fell. "Roman you are only older by forty-five minutes, I do appreciate what you are saying but wouldn't you rather have Virgil as a younger brother?" he asked not meaning to sound bitter but he wasn't going to control his emotions anymore in that moment he was already crying why not add rage as well.

"What? no our my brother , Virgil is just our little cousin, what do you think I would want him as a brother instead of you?" he asked frowning confused then it hit him. "Wait lo are you jealous because of how I act towards Virgil?"

he huffed looking away from his brother trying to get his hand back, when he tried he failed because roman had a strong grip on his hand. he sighed softly nodding. "I believe I am, I have never felt jealous before, not even when mom and Melvin started dating." he sighed looking towards Roman again "I'm jealous of Virgil and you, I don't know why I'm Jealous of Virgil he has done nothing wrong but you, I'm jealous because of the relationship you and dad have." he sighed hanging his head

he carefully wrapped his arms around his brother frowning. "But I only have that relationship with him because I really don't like to leave his side, the funeral was the first time I've been away from him for a excessive amount of time, heck even when mom visited last year I almost had a break down because dad wanted it to just be the two of us, he said I may have developed a sort of separation anxiety or something like that" he admitted sheepishly "as for Virgil well he's been through a lot and Uncle Patton asked if I could treat him as if I was a older sibling to him, which I request you do as well. it helps with his anxiety and I imagine our bickering isn't helping it much." he sighed resting his head on the others "But it's amazing treating him as such , he is as annoying as you if not more."

Logan leaned his head on Roman's feeling a sudden warmth go through him, he wiped the remainder of his tears away before looking to Roman. "I will try my best, but I don't know if my relationship with you and dad will ever be the same. I have been treating the both of you horribly, while you say you forgive me I am not sure dad would." he sighed again.

"Now why would you say that?" a sudden voice made both boys jump and look towards the entrance of the room.

standing there in front of the now open door was Emile, he had a small smile as he walked over to his sons taking the abandoned desk chair, he moved the chair in front of them sitting down giving them a small smile "Now Logan what makes you think I was even upset with you for how you were acting?" he asked giving him a serious look.

Logan let go of Roman giving Emile his full attention. "I haven't spoken to you in eight years, I tried to ignore you all week but no matter what I did you never failed to show me your kindness, I do not deserve it. I treated you both horrible for something that I have been holding in my heart." he looked down to his hand still in Roman's. "It's understandable that you would hold Roman closer then me, I understand if you do not wish to have a relationship with me."

Emile gently tucked his fingers under Logan's chin carefully lifting his head so they could meet each others eye's. "Logan you are my son as much as Roman is, I don't have favorites and I never will, it would be like trying to pick my favorite cartoon and I cant do that." He said gently moving his hand away from Logan's face to place it on top of their hands

"But what I've done." He was quickly hushed by Emile as he shook his head.

"what you have done is in the past, As the great wise Rafiki has said 'The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.' now I believe we all can learn from the past don't you?" he asked sitting up straight.

"I guess your right, even if you did quote a Disney movie in the middle of a serious conversation." he replied rubbing his eyes with his free hand "I will try to keep that in mind the next time those feelings come back." he smiled a bit

Roman laughed bumping Logan's shoulder "Are you kidding? Dad's best advice comes from Cartoon's, trust me your going to be hearing a lot from him. besides if you feel that way you should tell us it might help ease those feelings, Plus I'm a prince they will leave if I demand them to" he smiled widely.

"Yes you will, It will help to talk about it Lo trust me. And Roman we are not done we will still be having a conversation about what you did say to your friends later , but for now how about we get some hot chocolate and watch a movie that Logan want's to watch how does that sound?" he asked both of them with a soft smile.

"I like the hot chocolate and movie deal, but I am not to keen on the whole discussion thing." Roman grumbled standing up carefully pulling Logan next up next to him. "But I guess it's okay let's go Logan!" he smiled slowly letting go of his hand going over to his bed putting his diary back under his pillow.

Emile smiled softly as he stood up putting the desk chair back, he turned back to face the boys but had to quickly gain his balance as he was suddenly hugged. he looked to see Logan hugging him as tightly as he could. he wrapped his arms around his youngest smiling softly. "I love you so much Lo, never ever forget that please." he whispered kissing the top of his head.

Logan nodded against his shoulder , he closed his eye's staying in the warmth of his father's arms. he smiled softly "May I do something out of character?" he asked waiting for Emile's permission. once he had it he hugged him tighter before he spoke 'Dear notebook, Today I am really happy to be back with my father and brother, this week has been hard I am feeling new emotions I am not sure how to express them so I took out my frustrations out onto my family, I am nervous that due to my lack of communication as well as emotion may ruin any chance of having a relationship, I am jealous that Virgil has a better relationship with my brother then I do. I now know that I was running from the past instead of learning from it, from now on I shall learn from the past with help of my dad and brother I will try my best to be a better me. I hope soon our relationship maybe like it was before, I also hope to make Virgil feel less anxious. I hope that together I am able to express more emotions then I am able to on my own, sincerely Logan Picani son of Emile and brother to Roman Picani.'

Emile chuckled softly holding onto Logan tightly he couldn't help but feel pride in his heart for his son. He wiped away his happy tears before carefully pulling Logan away holding him at arms leigh away. he smiled softly "That was amazing lo, I'm glad you were able to learn from our talk." he smiled gently took his hand leading him towards the door taking Roman's in the other hand. taking his boys to the living room. he wasn't able to see the slight blush on both kids faces as they tightened their rip on their dad's hand, all he knew was he was so happy to have both of his sons back, and nothing could take that feeling away from him.

While Emile was with Logan and Roman watching movies, Patton was at the pet store with Virgil in the fish isle looking at decorations for their fish tank. It had taken Patton some convincing to get Virgil to get out of the car to come into the store, he had finally came out when Patton told him if he wasn't with him he might of been tempted to get a kitten. so now he was there holding his son's hand while they were trying to find their fishes a new castle for their tank. Patton frowned feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, carefully pulling the phone out his pocket he was bale to see Emile sent him a picture along with a message.

the Photo was of Logan and Roman both fast asleep on his lap, Logan curled up on his left side head resting on his lap, glasses off and hair brushed back, Roman was in the same position except he was facing Emile hair over his eye's. Both boy's looked happy there with their dad, the photo made Patton's heart melt at how cute they were.

EMILIO!-' Emotions can be exhausting sometimes, Thanks for letting us have some time alone Pat I couldn't have asked for a better little brother a guy could ask for.'

Patton smiled softly putting his phone away in his pocket before looking back to Virgil who seemed to be staring at him while holding a jar of fish treats. "What do you got there kiddo?" he asked smiling softly

Virgil handed him the Jar "Did they make up?" he whispered picking his hoody sleeves waiting for Patton to reply to his question.

Patton smiled softly "Yeah they did, I think that for now on they will be trying to get along with each other and Uncle Em, how does that sound?" he asked softly. he chuckled when Virgil gave him a quiet 'good' before he went back to looking. he could tell his was relieved that his older cousins were now going to try and get alone with each other and that his uncle would be more happy. he tucked the jar under his arm following Virgil around the store wondering how Emile got both teens to fall asleep before nine thirty, he was going to have to ask him so he could try and help Virgil to sleep more, but for right now he was just going to enjoy the peace knowing that their family was starting to heal, now if only he and his son could feel the same sort of healing.

(( the longest fic I have ever written holy moly! okay question. what did you think? should I make this a blog series? if you would like a platonic fic of your own send me a ask or dm with a idea of the fic you want and characters and ill see what I can do! ))

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