#we all gotta remember this stuff is subjective

[juniperhillpatient]

always be ready to humble yourself. saw a post of a ship I personally dislike & thought “ugh they don’t even interact outside of a few combat scenes just why” & instantly had to remind myself what I ship & calm down

[marauder-misprint]

Friends

Series Masterlist

Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader

1.4k words

cw: fluff

When Regulus enters the common room, you emerge from your dorm, books and other study materials in hand. Now that you had your nap, you were ready to get all the homework you had been putting off done. Regulus debates telling you about Sirius now. But as he watches you spread out across a table with a determined look on your face, he decides against it. Instead, he stands at your side and leans over the table to see which subjects you’re working on.

“Divination?” he asks.

You nod. “Professor Traumine is checking our dream journals this week and I haven’t had any I actually remember… Care to help?”

“Help?” he asks hesitantly, not really sure what you’re asking of him.

“Making stuff up. What seems like something I’d dream about and then we figure out what it means using the book.” You give him a pleading look. “Please, I’m horrible at making the dreams up. I’ll figure out what they mean on my own.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Regulus pulls up a chair and reaches for the journal you have open.

“Just seeing what you’ve written before. Maybe you can have a repeat dream or something,” he explains.

Between the two of you and the occasional passing friend, you finish the dream portion of the homework fairly quickly. You laugh as you interpret the fake dreams.

“Apparently, there are several family deaths in my future. That’s what, an excuse to miss school or something?”

“Anything about relationships?” Regulus asks, testing the water. 

You give him a sideways glance. “Relationships?”

“Particularly with my brother?” 

“Regulus, I don’t want to talk about him,” you groan. 

He leans forward. “I think you should.”

“Why? What do you need to know?”

“The same question as always. What’s going on between you two?” Instead of sounding accusatory as he had in the past, Regulus sounds arrogant, like he already knows the answer but wants to hear you say it.

You shrug. “Some kind of friendship, I guess?”

Regulus doesn’t mean to, but he laughs. Loudly and uncontrollably. You stare at him with wide eyes. You can feel the eyes of other Slytherins on the two of you. You had gone from peacefully working on homework and chatting with those who stopped by your table. Now, he was making a scene.

“What the fuck, Reggie?” you hiss.

“Some kind of friendship?” he repeats back to you in between laughs. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No?” 

“Love, darling, dearest friend of mine,” Regulus starts to say, ever so slightly calming himself. “Sirius came looking for you. Pacing the dungeons, hoping to run into you. Friends?”

“Right. Friends,” you say naturally, as if you were simply confirming that there was a giant octopus in the Black Lake.

Your mind, however, starts to spin. Sirius was looking for you? After you called him attractive again, with many synonyms, to his face, in the purest tone of genuinity, without any sense of tease. After telling him he was a good time. After saying that you maybe should write to him… You curse yourself for having said so much.

“Friends,” you echo yourself despite Regulus not saying anything.

He cocks an eyebrow. “So you said.” Then he smiles wickedly. “Or are you trying to convince yourself that’s all it is?”

“Regulus,” you warn, your voice dropping low. 

“I wasn’t so sure about it before, but I think I’ve played matchmaker,” he says with a smile.

“If anyone has the right to claim matchmaker, it’s Dorcas. Or… or Lupin and Potter. Certainly not you!”

“Aha! So there is a match!”

Your face grows hot. That wasn’t how you meant for it to come out. There wasn’t a match. It was just you realizing that Sirius wasn’t too bad and you liked being around him and he was fun and attractive and he smelled nice and there was something about the way he always had cigarettes with him that he was willing to share and the way he carried himself and… Shit. 

You gather your things in a panic.

“I will, uh, erm, see you tomorrow? I… I gotta go…”

You return to your dorm and hide within the curtains of your bed. Regulus was right: someone had played matchmaker.

---

You avoid Regulus in the morning. If anyone mentions either Black or Gryffindor, you change the topic or leave the conversation. You’re more skittish than usual. You’re more flighty than usual. You can’t seem to focus on anything besides your current crisis. 

Yes, you’re calling it a crisis. 

You manage to survive the day and you’re feeling a little better. You think you’ll be able to hide in your dorm again until you completely sort out your thoughts. 

But then his voice rings down the hallway. Sirius calls out your name. 

“Hey!” he says, running up to you.

“Hi?” you reply cautiously. You didn’t know if you were ready for a conversation with him.

“I-uh, how have you been?”

“I’ve been good. Yeah… good. You?”

The air between you feels thick with things unspoken. You certainly aren’t going to acknowledge it though. You’d rather this be a quick conversation so you can keep your wits about you.

“Going a bit crazy, if I’m honest,” he says.

You raise your eyebrows and tilt your head. “Is that so? What for?”

You start to walk and Sirius immediately falls in step with you. You aren’t sure where you are going, but it feels more natural to be moving than loitering outside a classroom. Depending on where you went, it would also be easier to shake Sirius if you felt like you were actually going to lose your cool. 

“Been meaning to, wanting to talk to you.”

“Well,” you chuckle, “here I am.”

“Right. Here you are. And here I am,” he says, laughing at himself. 

You wait for him to continue.

“I… I… I’m just going to come out and say it. Yes. That’s what I’m going to do.” He swallows thickly. “I like spending time with you. A lot. And I’d like to go on another date with you. To Hogsmeade, to a quidditch game, to the kitchens, hell, I don’t care. I didn’t think I’d need to talk to Regulus again and I really want to, if you want to.”

You stop walking. You clutch your things tightly to your chest. Sirius took a few steps beyond you before realizing that you weren’t next to him anymore. He turns back to you with worry etched into his face. 

“You don’t want to, do you?” he mumbles, looking down at the ground. “I thought after what you said last weekend…”

You take a shaky breath. “No… Shit, no. I do. I mean, I’m not against it.”

SIrius looks up, his eyes sparkling with emotion. He moves closer to you as his worry slowly melts away. 

“You do?”

You nod, not trusting your words. He gently puts a hand on the side of your shoulder.

“Then why do you look like you’re about to faint?”

You take another breath. “Because… I meant what I said. After the party… And I was so hellbent on not caring for you, but, ah, here we are?” You let out a nervous chuckle and tighten your grip on your books.

“Here we are,” he repeats, his lips curling into a smile. 

“But you want to take me to a quidditch game, you’ll be waiting until next term…”

He barks a laugh. “Yeah, I’m not waiting that long. So, sneak to Hogsmeade? Picnic? Visit the kitchens? I’ll do whatever you want to. I just… I want to spend time with you.”

You press your lips into a thin line as you think. 

“How about a walk? Just like around the grounds or something. And we can stop by the kitchens after?”

He nods vigorously. His excitement is so palpable that you can’t help but smile at him.

“I’d love that.”

“Too bad Padfoot isn’t here to enjoy it though,” you tease. 

“D’you miss him?” Sirius asks with a smirk.

“I miss dogs in general. You do have a cute one though,” you say thoughtfully. 

Sirius chuckles and throws an arm around your shoulder. “I mean, if all goes well, maybe you can visit the Potters and hang out with Padfoot over break.”

“That’s… that’s some kind of wishful thinking, Black. Dunno if we’ll be there after a second date.” 

“Worth a shot,” he says. “As long as you write me.”

“With that quill you bought me? Let’s see how this walk goes first.”

“This walk? Are we doing it now?” He sounds flustered. 

“No. Salazar, no. I have assignments to do.” You pause and bite the inside of your lip. “Tomorrow after class?” 

“Tomorrow.”

tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark,

tags: @crowleythesexydemon, @flow33didontsmoke, @navs-bhat, @louweenier, @l0g0phobe,

@ellouisa17, @theendofthematerialgworl, @marina468, @bmyva1entine, @ravisinghs-wife, @azure-drag0ness, @sunowee, @mysteriouslyperfecttiger

Just a warning for all of you lovely people: I think we are nearing the end of this series. I'm feeling like a max of two more chapters. Thank you for all the love y'all have shown this series - every comment/like/reblog means the world to me

[rapunzelbro]

The Act of Stealing a Loved One |2| (Stanley Pines x Reader)

This chapter is a flashback. So are the others. Enjoy! It's super long lmao

Story Guide

It was the Summer of 1972 when you first met Stanford. You remember it almost all too well. You went to a college for the arts, majoring in music composition. Oh! And you were in a band! It was not good by any means, you all were figuring this out as you went but you were all having fun so it didn’t really matter to you. It’s kinda funny looking back on how the two of you somehow became a couple considering how different the two of you were.

You two only met after you accidentally stumbled in his room one night after you partied too hard at someone else's dorm. You thought his room was your friend's room. His dorm had books scattered around, posters of some scientists on the wall and an absolute mess of notes on his desk. Stanford did not want to spend his night with some random drunk girl in his dorm, but he knew he had to let you in, not trusting what any of the other men on the campus would do if they saw you like this. He didn’t know why you made him so flustered, maybe it was your vulnerable state, or just because you were a girl, talking to him.

It was probably both.

“You know, I never wanted to go to this, it was some promotional stuff for my band. Did I tell you I was in a band? We are amazing!” You were laying on the floor staring at the ceiling smiling goofily, flipping onto your stomach to look at the flustered man whose dorm you broke into. He took a glance over his shoulder to look at you, trying to tell you he was listening, even if you didnt care if he was or not. “Okay so that might be a lie, Gabs is super pitchy, Jamie is still figuring out the drums but that's besides the point..I met you by going to this!” you finally sat up running a hand through your hair “You're so dorky it's kinda cute” you let off a soft giggle pointing at him.

This made Stanford physically freeze, his breath hitching slightly “Thank you I suppose, Are your friends looking for you?” He quickly changed the subject, turning around in his chair, looking at you “I think, I dunno… I kinda wanna stay here with you” you smirked. “Well I-” he started before he heard a female voice yelling in the hallway “Y/N! We gotta go!” “Oh that's Gabs! She’s my friend!” You stumbled up before heading towards the door, pausing before going back over to the man kissing his check with a giggle, causing Stanford's face to turn bright red “Thank you for saving me! I’m Y/n by the way!” “Um… It's Stanford, Call me Ford..” he managed to get out, quickly writing the phone number to the telephone that was in his room, down on a piece of notebook paper. “Just.. Call me when you get to your dorm safe..” he quickly turned back to face his textbooks he had his nose buried in hours ago “Aw you care about me… Okay loverboy. Seeya around!” you poked his shoulder before leaving, yelling at your friend ‘Gabs’ to get her attention

Ford had no idea why he did that, he never had the balls to do this sort of thing. Especially with someone as beauti- No why the hell was he having these thoughts? You weren't going to call him. He has to forget about this encounter, he concluded, going back to his uneventful night.

He got a call the next day, it was you. There was some sort of music in the background, he couldn't place what it was, some pop music maybe. “Oh my gosh is this Ford? I kinda crashed at your dorm last night, I am sooo sorry I am super embarrassed.” you rambled on before Ford let off a slight chuckle “No it's fine. I’m glad you're safe, you seemed very out of it last night” he leaned back in his chair slightly as he spoke “Ugh don't get me started about the hangover” you groaned causing him to laugh.

After that was the beginning of a relationship, you spent your off time together, he helped you with classes and you expanded his music taste, well tried to at least.

It's been 4 months since you two started dating. Ford even told his brother about this, and to say Stanley was shocked was an understatement, he rushed over surprising Ford “So you finally found a girl who doesn’t run off screaming? Tell me all about her” Stanley smirked looking at his twin brother, noticing a photo of you on his desk in a frame, you had a microphone in your hand giving a peace sign to the camera with your other hand. How the hell did his brother score you? Ford went off to ramble about you, he was a love sick mess, but the way his eyes kept shifting to the photo of you when explaining you made Stan confused, why did he have to keep looking at it to talk about you?

He noticed a few flyers to some music festivals, they looked untouched. “Who gave you these?” he picked one up, the show was for tonight, in a few hours. “Oh Y/n did. She’s in a band” Ford looked at the flier before directing his attention back to the textbook that was in front of him “You plan on seeing her right?” Stan raised an eyebrow looking at his brother “Too busy, I have an exam tomorrow” Ford shrugged it off flipping to the next page in his book “You’re joking right? Have you been to any of her shows?” Stan narrowed his eyes in disapproval, Ford didn't say anything “Some boyfriend you are” He muttered looking down at the flier in his hands. He knew what he had to do, he wasn’t going to let Ford ruin the only potential relationship he would probably ever have.

Taglist: @bluepanda08 @slay-thou-pookie @karmaisacatluzi @fries11 @marvelous-maniac @cherryblom @leo4242564 @zuzzybakaemperiment

[lilsoftext]

•~* BACKSEAT BAN *~•

-chris sturniolo x female reader

- summary: new rule on videos and streams for chris “front seat only” for being to clingy

——————————————————————————

“Alright, guys, buckle up!” Matt called, starting the recording. “Let’s see what weird stuff the fans want to know this time.”

Sof and Chris were already in the back seat, and predictably, Chris had his arm around Sof’s shoulders, pulling her closer.

Nick glanced back from the front passenger seat, immediately sensing trouble. “Nope! Nope! You two—cut it out,” he said, his voice sharp but amused. “Chris, front seat. Now."

Chris rolled his eyes, but a playful grin spread across his face. “Come on, man. We’re just sitting.”

Matt glanced over at Nick, who shook his head with an exaggerated sigh. “Yeah, no. We’ve been down this road before. You can’t be trusted in the backseat.”

“Remember the last stream?” Matt chimed in, laughing. “We got so many comments. ‘Hey, are they gonna breathe in between making out?’”

Sof giggled, pushing Chris away playfully. “It wasn’t *that* bad.”

“Oh, it was that bad,” Nick retorted, scrolling through his phone. “Anyway, new rule: Chris, front seat always. Non-negotiable.”

With a defeated groan, Chris reluctantly slid out of the back seat and into the front next to Matt, who was still holding the camera. “Fine, fine, I’m up here. Happy now?”

“Very,” Nick said, twisting in his seat to give Chris a satisfied grin. “Let’s get this Q&A started, shall we?”

As Matt started driving, Nick read the first question. “Okay, here’s one. ‘Who’s most likely to get caught doing something embarrassing in public?’”

Everyone burst into laughter, immediately turning to look at Chris.

“Come on, man!” Chris protested, throwing his hands in the air. “Why’s it always gotta be me?”

Sof smirked. “Because it *is* always you.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Remember last week at the coffee shop?”

Matt burst out laughing, almost swerving the car. “Oh my God, I forgot about that! You were all over Sof, and that poor barista didn’t know where to look.”

Chris grinned sheepishly. “I was just… showing affection.”

“Dude, you were *devouring* her face,” Nick said, stifling a laugh.

“Alright, alright, next question!” Chris hurriedly interrupted, eager to change the subject.

Nick looked down at his phone again. “Alright, here’s a good one. ‘What’s everyone’s pet peeve about each other?’”

“Oh, easy,” Sof said, leaning forward to rest her chin on the front seat. “Chris’s inability to chill for like, two seconds.”

“Hey!” Chris shot back, turning to face her. “That’s not fair.”

“It’s true, though,” Nick chimed in, turning to Matt. “You know it’s true.”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, dude, we literally had to start sitting between you two on streams.”

Nick added, “And the backseat thing? That's not even a joke anymore. You’re banned from the back.”

Chris threw his hands up in mock defeat. “Alright, fine. You guys win. I’ll behave.” He turned to Sof and whispered dramatically, “For now.”

Matt caught it on camera and shook his head, laughing. “Yeah, for now.” He glanced at Nick. “Keep an eye on him. He’s always plotting.”

Nick smirked. “Oh, I’m well aware.”

The car filled with laughter as they continued their Q&A, teasing Chris at every opportunity. But despite all the jokes, the group’s dynamic was undeniably fun and full of energy.

Chris leaned back in his seat, smirking at Sof through the rearview mirror. “Just wait until this ride’s over.”

“Chris, I swear—” Nick began, but his laughter cut him off.

“New rule,” Matt said with a grin, keeping his eyes on the road. “No making out on video, ever again. Period.”

Everyone agreed, but Chris winked at Sof anyway.

——————————————————————————

i hope you enjoyed it. if you have any requests, leave down below (actually i don’t know what to write about, i iost my ideas)

lilsoftext<3

[sadie-bug345]

Ok so can I maybe get greasers headcanons with an absolute academic weapon s/o (think Rory Gilmore/annabeth chase/Devi Vishwakumar) who’s parents like make them get all A’s and they are very Ivy League bound, always dressing in blazers/looking very sharp and corporate and super ambitious? (Probs academic rivals with pony lowkey 💀) Thanks so much lmao I think Dallys is going to be 🔥🔥

YESSS 🫶🫶 i myself am an academic weapon🧐(JK LMAO ap physics has made me lose my will to live) ANYWAYS

ponyboy:

yall are actually so cute together ngl

like you guys study for tests together and do hw together

cause you guys are in the same honors classes and stuff

some days pony will get cocky and be like “i’m so much better than you at bio” or smth like that (🙄)

and then you guys get into competitions to see how many times you can get correct answers in class it’s actually crazy

everyone else in class is like 😟 LMAOO

sodapop:

soda is a little on the dumber side😭

im sorry i feel like its canon that he’s a lil slower

WHICH IS OK

but he’ll try and watch you do hw and then get bored like instantly

that or confused

he always says “i was good at math til they added letters🤓☝️”

and you’re just like🥱

LMAO you guys are good for each other tho

cause you convince him to prioritize some form of learning

and he helps you let loose

johnny:

he is honestly really sweet🫶

like understanding when you turn down hangouts cause you got final exams and you cram like crazy

but he also loooves just chilling in your room while you do homework

his catchphrase is “just ask the teacher tomorrow, man”

and you’re just like “🧍‍♀️ it’s a friday night”

anyways he’s just really supportive and proud when you come back with all As on your report card🙏😜🤩

darry:

HE GETS IT

he is real supportive

hes all abt that grind as we know PLUS he canonically gets on pony for his grades

so he’s glad that he don’t gotta worry at all abt that for you

he’s so proud and happy when you get a good score on a test you were worried about and yall go on a lil date night🫶🙏

dally:

he couldn’t care less i’m sorry😭🥱

like DONT GET ME WRONG

hes secretly like super impressed and proud to have a smart asf s/o

but he gets butthurt when you blow him off cause you got a test tomorrow and you’re going to bed early

dal never really had the internal motivation to actually put stuff into school so he just doesn’t get it

whenever you try and include him w your studying/homework he tries to help w flashcards

and whenever you get the answer right and it’s super specific he’s just like 😟

and you’re like “right?” and he’s like “…yeah”

MY GUY IS SCARED cause he knows you could just totally destroy him intellectually🧐

also cause he’s scared you’ll realize you’re too good for him

but its okay 🫶🫶

two-bit

he thinks school is boring like bruh is a total super duper senior just for the friends but the academics

BRO CLOCKS OUT

meanwhile it’s like a major part of your life

hes really impressed

whenever you get some academic award he’s always like “WOOOOOO”

LMAO

you guys have really funny fake arguments

which you destroy him in

youre just like “that’s a fallacy…and that’s a fallacy…bandwagon”

boom roasted asf

steve:

you tutor him kinda on yiur school subjects

yk the study method where you explain a concept to someone else to help you remember it?

you do that for him but he’s just like 😀🧍‍♂️

“and that’s pretty much what mitosis is!”

and hes like ”…i’m glad😀”

LMAOOO

he’ll also try and teach you abt cars and car parts

which is just a bit of a struggle🤏😀

TYSM FOR REQUESTING🤩 my inbox is open! i’m really trying to get to everyone’s and some take more thought for me to plan than others so sorry if they take a while🥰🤪‼️

[amberinn]

Personal sexuality hc:

- Damon Maitsu (bi bi bi bi bi bi bi, bi, everything abt bro is bi he IS the bi boy, he is never ESCAPING the bi boy allegations, the closet is made of air)

- Kai Monteago (!!transmasc, and well, bi. bro gives those vibes, too much gay talking in chapt 1)

- Jean DeLamer (gay, vibes)

- Jett /surname/ (bi!!! very much a stinky boykisser, but he'd also flush and giggle if a girl kissed his costume like reeheeheeheeheeheehee!!! he'd have the best day ever, he's the supportive bro, very outspoken abt his sexuality I bet

- Mark (straight. ...does not give those vibes, but I like this hc sorta, him having gay vibes almost, but being straight is suave or whatever we're calling it. It gives him charm I think...)

- Desmond (straight, gives those vibes, im sorry damon homie for the crush..... youre kinda going thru the bi experience every bi person went through....gotta fall for the straight situationship at least once or smthn)

- Ulysses (bi, if not only influenced by the fact i ship ulynona..., he gives gay vibes otherwise, and somewhat bi vibes)

- Wolfgang (straight)

- Toshiko (straight, she has a primary school bf (14yo atm also(btw funfact primary school in Poland at least is like ages ummm...... 6-14 ...ithink? wasnt 6year olds like year 0.... ah yeah, 7 class (1) 8 class (2) i remember now, yeah so last class of primary is 14yo, i think for USA theres smthn called "middle school"...? which is why i thought i had to clarify, i think we had that stuff in Poland also, but it got deleted at some point, at least back in my days in primary, i was the first year to experience year 7/year8 in primary, and not year7/year8/year9 in middle school. "gimnazium" or something.... the last year of the deleted middle grade in school went towards high-school which now does not last 3 years, but 4. also technical school doesn't last 4 years now, but 5. technical school is like ummm........ well like if you've shoved collage class level subjects into high school and let the classes run wild. hard. you have to pass high school and the subject you've picked. I'm in one actually, im studying economy rn)) she loves loves loves and in the future she'll marry her bf and generally live happily, i dont want a story where he breaks her heart.

girlboss ever!!!!!! bro better have some manners smh and all. super cute aa >u<)

- Wenona (bi, vibes)

- Cassidy (pan, vibes!!!) (have to think abt genderfluidity or some sort of transness to her at some point but not rn.... later)

- Diana (lesbian vibes bro)

- Ingrid (lesbian vibes if not only bcs she gives heavyyyy bismuth vibes to me once i put 2n2 together, bcs like..... pink lion, steven universe? inside of it's world is where bismuth was discovered. i love them both act theyre super special and lovely to me :3)

- Grace (straight lol)

- Eloise (definitively would kiss a boy(desmond), idk whether its bcs i WANT HER TO kiss a girl genuinely >< its ok eloise lovers get it, but ummm.......hard to say bro,..... bi, or straight. okay, yeah straight)

- Eva (ehhhh....hhhhmm.....I don't know, bi probably)

!!!! since none of them have canon sexualities (no, they actually do, Damon is literally so fucking heavily hinted bi its insane.)

!!!!since none -1 of them have canon sexualities, generally my stances of headcanons like.... shift whenever i ship anyone!!!

i look past the hc and first think abt which ship would i like best and do it

i only rll limit myself if theres canon sexualities, i generally dislike personally shipping aro characters n well.... im 17, too young to be writing nsfw atm, but ace characters for you know too.

same with gay boys being shipped with gals/the opposite etc!!!

One sidedness towards them is chill tho :3

adds flavourrrrr

[watchyourbuck]

the second they made buck bi i watched the whole show for the first time, took a week, finished just before the latest episode came out. this obviously means i do not know my first thing about anything, most theories and fanon storylines included. what is the most important stuff that i need to know? the more deranged and delusional the better 🌸

lmao gotta love this ask. okay nonny let’s see.

the couch theory: right after Buck breaks up with Taylor, Eddie and Chris have dinner at his loft. they make fun of the fact that Buck doesn’t have a couch, and he says ��my last two couches came with girlfriends — maybe I don’t wanna pick the wrong couch again.” we strongly believe the right couch is Eddie, and the scene itself is pretty, uh… hinting. I made a post about it.

the color theory: this theory stems from the fact that most of us believe the colors they are dressed in or are illuminated by (etc) aren't a coincidence, as in, we think different colors mean different things pertaining to their story and feelings. pls see our preacher on this subject @lover-of-mine <3 her posts are amazing

dad!buck: its a commonly accepted truth that Buck is not Chris’ uncle, but his dad. there’s not a lot of explaining to do, other than the man just loves Chris as his own, and clearly Eddie thinks the same, considering he added him to his WILL (insane behavior if u ask me).

shooting/lightening as direct parallels: Eddie getting shot and Buck getting struck by lightning are the two highlights of their individual and intertwined tragedies. there’s obviously other moments where they fear they may lose each other but these two are the biggest, most gut-wrenching ones. (these are their strings of fate, remember they both had to pull the other to safety).

buddie tends to parallel to every canon couple on the show: I’d have to pull up many receipts but, if you watch closely, you’ll see them. Bathena and Buddie both have water trauma, for example (tsunami vs capsized cruise ship), plus other more lighthearted ones like the Madney karaoke + the bachelor party Buddie karaoke scenes (7x06).

Edmundo Díaz is demisexual: and most likely gay. idk i didn't feel too comfy with the hyper-sexualization of Eddie on 7x05. but it’s more than that, obvi. that man was seen sleeping with Shannon, then with no one until Marisol, and i kinda believe Eddie getting out of the house to not have sex with her bc he felt distanced from her tells us a lot about him. he seems to only be able to engage in sexual activity should he feel something for that person.

I didn’t mean for all of these to be buddie coded, but alas, I’ve watched the show through their looking glass, and these are the theories that I’ve engaged with the most. for anyone reading, feel free to add more!💗

[mezz-merizing]

language, hypnotism, and you!

here in the Hypnokink Zone we tend to center our focus on inductions. and for good reason!! they're the purest form of hypnosis, the intentional induction of someone, an endeavour designed exclusively to take someone into trance. but what if we didn't want to do an induction, or even take someone into trance, but still have a hypnotic effect on them? as it turns out, this is extremely doable, and extremely cool!

if you've been here for a while now you might have seen this post from me, my first proper ramble about all this stuff, and you might remember that bit at the end, when i talk about just how hot i find the words "hypnotized" and "brainwashed" themselves, and how i sometimes just find myself repeating them over and over when i'm really feelin' it. i think that's a good representation of how just single words can fuck with our minds, and it's not just those two <3

so like, let's think for a second about what language actually is; we tend to take for granted the fact that we make air do silly tricks with our mouths and our throats in order to put ideas and concepts into other people's heads. really, a word isn't just a word- it's not just the funny shape that air takes on when you make just the right tongue movements, it's the idea that word actually is. and ideas are extremely powerful!! when you think of the word "brainwashed" you don't just think of the individual letters, you think of helpless subjects, spinning spirals, and complete, devoted obedience. and that has more effects on you than you might realise :3

sometimes people in the hypno sphere call this "neuro-linguistic programming" or "NLP" but that's kind of a misnomer, (actual NLP is a silly and weird pseudoscience largely invented by "pickup artists" to sell courses, so, y'know, i try and avoid the association) i prefer to just use "hypnotic language" because it's just as descriptive! the basis of hypnotic language is this: when you say words, you incept ideas into someone's head. if you have the skill, time, and familiarity with the person you're talking to, you can use this to control their thoughts nearly as effectively as if they were in trance!

a lot of this relies on what words mean the most to the individual you're talking to. let's take me as an example!! the word docile makes me fucking weak. it conjures up images of blank-face, calm-smile obedience, of gently nodding and going about the commands i'm given, of empty-headed servitude. the images it conjures in my head are vivid and hot as hell, and it's just a single word. use it a little bti around me, and you'll ensure i have all those thoughts swirling around in my head! thoughts of servitude. thoughts of enslavement. and so it comes naturally that i'd be easier to control <3

tone matters too! if you speak to someone authoritatively, they'll come to see you as an authority. even in tiny matters, insignificant ones, even in little ways- saying "hey, grab me a glass of water" is more authoritative than "hey, can you get me some water?" obviously, this is a double-edged sword! too much authority and you might give your intentions away, or just come off as kinda bossy, and that's more likely to make people actively resist you than let you in. once again, it's all about knowing your target! you gotta know what your subject's tolerances are for this kinda thing

take all this together, and you can have almost as much of a grip on someone's mind as you would if they were completely hypnotized :3 you break them down overtime, get them hanging on certain words, widen their tolerance for authority... and eventually, with a lot of effort and patience, they're yours. obedient to you- brainwashed, in all but process

can you imagine it? like, from the subject's perspective- being completely under someone's hypnotic control without ever having been hypnotized. maybe looking back at a long time ago and thinking "i sure acted different then", but not worrying about it at all. you're a thrall, and as far as you're concerned, that's just who you are!! that's just kind of how the world works

i dunno about you but i can't imagine a fate i'm more desperate for <3

[emotionalsupportgoblin420]

Sick Chongyun x reader

Style: One-shot.

Summary: You head over to Chongyun's house and find him with a fever.

You had woken up bright and early that morning, excited to see Chongyun. You had agreed to help him check out a suspicious spirit sighting that day, and you couldn't wait. As you went out the door, the sun shined beautiful with not a cloud in sight. A good sign.

You ran over to Chongyun's house and knocked on the door. "Chongyun! You ready to check out this spirit?" No response. Odd. He usually was an early bird. You knocked once more. "Chongyun? You awake?" Still, nothing.

You pulled out your spare key that Chongyun had given you and opened the door. "Hope you don't mind if I come in!" You shout just in case. Not a sound. You walk over to his room and knock. "Yun. You awake?" You call. Still no response. "I'm coming in." You say as you turn the knob. You advert your eyes just in case as you slowly open the door. Once you figure you're in the clear, you look around and find Chongyun still in bed sound asleep, back facing you. You find this odd. This isn't usually like him.

You walk over to him and give him a couple of gentle shakes. "Yun. It's time to wake up." You say in a gentle tone. He groans and rolls over to face you, still asleep. He looks flushed, so you check his forhead. He's hot to the touch. "Yun! You're burning up!" You exclaim, just loud enough to wake him up. "Hmm? Y/N? What are you doing here?" He asked. "We were gonna check a spirit sighting, remember?" You reminded him. "That's right!" He bolted right up. "I've gotta get ready!" Before he could get out of bed, you gently pushed him back down. "You aren't going anywhere." You said sternly. "You have a fever." "But, the spirit-" "Can wait." You cut him off. "Your health comes first. Now you lay here while I grab some ice water and a towel to cool you off. Being this hot can't be good for your constitution."

You walked off the kitchen where you found just what you need. Only took a few minutes to fill up a small bucket with water and ice. You grabbed a towel from a draw and headed back. Just as you were a couple of steps from his door, you heard a loud thud.

You quickly set the bucket down and ran in to see if Chongyun was okay only to find him lying on the floor, passed out. This wasn't like him at all. Chongyun could certainly be a tad bit excitable on the subject of spirits, but he was usually able to keep his composure. Looks like you were right. His fever was getting to him. You pick him up and lay him back in bed. You grab the bucket from the hallway and bring it to his bedside, swiftly wringing out the towel and placing it on his forehead.

You just sat by his bedside for a few minutes, watching him sleep. He was kinda cute. So peaceful and relaxed. It was nice to just enjoy the moment. But that moment couldn't last forever. You needed to get him some medicine. You were a bit worried leaving him alone, but it couldn't be helped. He needed medicine. So you prayed for the best and got up to head to the nearest pharmacy.

☆ ☆ ☆

It was almost noon by the time you had gotten back from the pharmacy with a small bag in hand. You entered Chongyun's house and went straight to his room. The sight that was before your eyes you opened the door to his room was exactly what you had feared.

Talismans were everywhere, random stuff was scattered all over the floor, and there was a collapsed Chongyun in the center of it all. He even managed to kick over the bucket of ice water. You just sighed, setting the bag down on a nearby dresser, picking him up, and putting him to bed again.

You checked his temperature. He was a little hotter than before. Step one was to get some medicine working in his system. You efficiently went to the kitchen and grabbed him a glass of cold water and came back as fast as possible before he could get into any more trouble. You took the medicine out of the bag and set both items on his bedside table.

You gently nudged him awake. "Yun. You got you some medicine." You said in a gentle voice. As he opened his eyes, it was clear to you that he was delirious. "I gotta vanquish the evil spirits..." He said, sitting himself up. He was super wobbly and barely able to hold himself up. "Easy Yun." You said, gently propping him against the wall that was behind his pillows. You took a pill of medicine and put it in his mouth. Then, you grabbed the glass of water and held it to his lips. "Drink some of this." You said, gently tipping to glass until he had had enough water.

You helped lay him back down as he murmured about evil spirits and vanquishing evil. Clearly, his shenanigans while you were away had tired him out. He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit his pillow. Seeing as how he was completely exhausted, you didn't have to worry about him getting up to any more fever-induced mischief, leaving you time to remake a bucket of ice water and clean up the mess he had made.

It took a good 15ish minutes to do all of that, and once you were done, you were about ready for a nap. You sat down beside Chongyun's bed and checked the towel on his forehead. It wasn't cold anymore, so you dipped it into the ice water, wrung it out, and placed it back on his forehead. You laid your head down on the side of his bed and watched him sleep as your eyelids grew heavy, and you drifted off to sleep.

[verseandrhyme]

" heyyy, mitama! you're not busy right now, are you? "

fogado finds mitama during lunch period with a big smile right on his face. he figures he ought to make this quick---everyone's got stuff they've gotta eat and all!

" y'know the big ball that's comin' up? the one that's super awesome and has great food and good tunes and all of that awesomeness? " hands folded behind his back, fogado rocks playfully on the balls of his fee. " we~~ll... i was wonderin' if you wanted to go with me! i think the first time we met was when it was almost over. i never got to show off my awesome dance moves! "

wow. it's almost been a year since they've met?! how about that! from behind his back fogado pulls a card, clearly handmade. there are two stick figures drawn on the outside, smiling and jumping around in front of what looks to be a ballroom floor---probably the man himself with mitama, were one to guess. inside, it reads:

i think this is right

is this how a haiku looks?

oh there's no more space

LET'S GO TO THE BALL TOGETHER!

"Even if I was, it would be no great struggle to abandon my tasks for preferable company." Mitama smiles as she turns to greet Fogado. With arms folded neatly behind his back, it is clear that there is either a plan or mischief guiding his steps - perhaps even both! Yet Mitama feels no worry as she puts her place down at her seat in the dining hall. The mischief he has turned on her has never been unpleasant, and she sees no reason to suspect him of it now, especially when the subject of his plan quickly becomes obvious.

"I am familiar with the ball, yes." She laughs softly at the thought. She has attended it a few times in the past herself, but returning in the middle of it last year had been a funny little surprise for her. It had ended up being a whirlwind that she had lacked the time to settle into fully, but she had enjoyed seeing so many familiar faces once more.

As well as some new ones that she had quickly become fond of.

"We did, yes. A meeting of the stars, and a dance prevented by the fact that, if I remember correctly, you were deep in the throes of a food related battle at the time." She giggles softly at the memory. It really had been surprising to find another with the same celestial eyes as her family. Even more so to find that his had more warmth in them than hers had ever carried.

The grand reveal ends up being rather humble (her shoulders drop in relief; she would have hated being the center of some public spectacle) as he presents her with a simple card. She lacks the poise to stop herself from laughing at the sight of the happy caricatures dancing on the front. Practice allows her to scan the card quickly - metered correctly, if lacking in substance. Better than some of the other first attempts she has been subjected to.

Her smile softens as her laughter grows quieter. The stars meet once more in the little bubble of space they have created for themselves. Holding the card to her chest, Mitama nods. "Request accepted / dancing stars will hopefully / not be falling ones. I would be delighted to accompany you to the ball, Fogado."

[rins-batcave]

answering all them lol

weird asks because i’m bored

if you have a lighter, what color is it? - green

pepsi box blue or cheetos bag orange? - orange

do you like pasta? - yes

how often are you on tumblr? - always

are you only doing this because you’re bored? - sometimes?

what blogs do you mostly interact with? - @chickencentaur, @sotiredimbored, @someones-here-fore-sure, @choucon, @possibly-not-sane + all my moots lol

can you swim? - yep since i ws 2

have you had water today? - like 6000 ml lol

which do you prefer, cotton candy or funnel cake? - cake

have you ever [insert question]? - yes???

bass or drums? - both pls i need em

favorite tv commercial? - idk probhably paper towl

can we be friends? - yes

do you admire the clouds and color of the sky? - yes obvi

what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you? - um life?

a netflix series that’s your favorite? - b99

an earliest obsession you remember? - elsa

do you play video games? - yes

zombies or vampires? - vamp

have you listened to [insert musician/band]? - mhm

your first celebrity crush? - idk

do you have a collection of cool rocks? - yes obvi

five words that describe you? - um, id ksorry

what have you learned about yourself? - i dont do emotions well

can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue? - what

do you believe in aliens? - probably

books or films? - both???

an unusual song that’s your favorite? - unusual??? um prob like

the last thing you ate? - ice cream

do you have a favorite [insert question]? - idk

have you gotten bit by a dog? - no

do you write better with a pen or a pencil? - pencil? maybe pen

a song that gets stuck in your head? - um literally everything

when you hear “ peace ” what do you think of? - death

a school subject your good with? - apperently all of them but prob math

how many alarms do you have set? - like 5 on a good day?

do you shop at thrift stores? - want to

what’s the meaning behind your url? - um, im batman

is there wise words you live by? - probably

what’s your favorite [insert question]? - idk

you gotta have a favorite beatles song, what is it? - idk brain off

earphones or a speaker? - ear

what do you remember from your childhood? - not much

do you collect anything? - binder clips, paper clips, rocks, string/ribbon, and a bucnh of other stuff

favorite tea? - specific green tea yuzu blend

a christmas song you secretly like? - um grandma got run over by a reindeer cus its wacky

book stores or record stores? - book

how weird were these questions? - normal?

what scents do you like? - none but prob lavendar

is there [insert question]? - yes?

send me some!

[hannahwatcheshorror]

GERALD'S GAME (2017)

💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead

I won’t lie, this movie is a heavy one, the subject matter is tough, but if you are able to handle it this is a phenomenal film. I don’t know how Stephen King can write so well for women, but he slips into the role like Buffalo Bill into a suit made of women's skin. This movie is very true to the book, not making the mistakes of other King movies that deviate greatly from his writing and try for a new way of thinking. Gorgeous scenes of the eclipse that flood your senses as they would have Jessie’s. Really an excellent film.

���⭐⭐⭐⭐

(Trigger Warning Sexual Abuse, Child Sexual Abuse)

To try and fix their marriage Jessie is handcuffed to the bed in their remote vacation home but the thing is, ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, you gotta talk to your partners before employing crazy sex stuff because Gerald’s Game freaked Jessie right the fuck out and it wasn’t safe at all!  “We might die here today because of Gerald’s five inches!” Very quickly into Gerald's untimely death and Jessie’s subsequent imprisonment Prince the dog smells the blood and stops by for a bite. This drives Jessie into a madness where she envisions versions of Gerald and herself talking to her (and it is very well done).

Our first night is coming quickly and our best girl uses some quick thinking to get a drink of water before the lights go out. She wakes up to a spooky visitor and we cannot tell if he is real or in her imagination though and her imaginary husband posits that if the spooky visitor is imaginary then why did the real dog leave? This was very chilling. We also got to see what inspired Talk to Me’s foot sucking action, who knew demons loved toes? (We all did, that's why we never dangled our feet out of the covers)

We are brought back to Jessie’s past, the day of the total solar eclipse, the day her father sexually abused her. Then her horrible father tricks her into thinking that telling anyone would make her look bad so she promises him she won’t ever tell anyone. At this point she is convinced that the man she saw in her room last night is Death (or the Moon Man) and that he is coming back tonight to kill her so she has to act NOW. She remembers something else from the day of the eclipse, cutting her hand, which gives her an idea…

THE DEGLOVING SCENE IS SO BRUTAL. I have not been made physically ill by a horror movie in such a long time but here we are. My LANTA was that AWFUL. I had to pause it to take a break because I was thrown off by this scene, it was very well done but excruciating. (I don’t want to go back until the scary lady with the half hand is gone) I was trembling by the time she got the key to the cuffs and was getting a well earned drink from the tap.

She sees the Moon Man on her way out and gives him her wedding ring as a sort of payment, sort of like paying a coin to cross the River Styx only she gets to live. She drives her car, crashes it, but that leads people to find her. She recovers well but it is only months later that she discovers the spooky visitor she saw was a real man after all who was caught for robbing graves. She goes to his hearing and confronts him, telling him he looks small. She goes on to start a foundation to help anyone who has gone through sexual trauma like she did and tells her story everyday.

Um, this was incredibly true to the book and I loved that about it, they only did a few little things here or there to make the story flow a bit better but holy moly if they didn’t stick to the book! I am very pleased! The only thing that I would have LOVED is if she would have taken Prince the dog on as a pet but that wasn’t in the book and in fact they usually have to destroy dogs that have a taste for human flesh so… yeah… but I like to imagine it would be a very powerful move for Jessie to take the dog that terrorized her and have it become a companion cause the dog was just doing what it needed to to survive but maybe that is just me. Brilliant book, brilliant movie. Great job all around to everyone involved!

----------------------HANNAH WATCHES HORROR---------------------

[askror]

To Marine before you met Blaze and all them, what was your life like? Did you have any friends or family before the whole Jeweled Scepter affair?

"Never knew my parents." Marine sounded just a teensy bit more sullen than usual on this subject. "Or any family, 'smatter of fact. Closest thing I had was the folks on Windmill Island. They said I just showed up one day left on the beach in a basket."

"Woah. For real? That's something out of a damned fairy tale." Surge snorted with amusement, though she was genuinely a bit surprised.

"Felt like one at first, too! First thing I remember was every cobber I had on the island treatin' me like some bloody princess. Nobody'd let me help with anything even when I was old enough to lend a hand! Honestly, I think the problem was an island fulla tradie bachelors just had no idea how to take care of a kid."

"Or they thought you were just gonna break everything if you helped out with anything important." Surge suggested. Marine pretended she had not heard this.

"Either way, just made me feel more lonely. I was always tryin' to build rafts to go out and explore on my own. I figured if I got off the island, I could find my parents and ask 'em what the hell they were thinking just dumping me there." Marine sighed. "Eventually, I sorta grew out of that, though. Realized the answer probably wouldn't actually be anything I wanted to hear, y'know?"

Surge did know what that was like, but this was Marine's time. She gave her a nod and asked: "So... What? You gave up on trying to leave?"

"Oh, naw." Marine waved a dismissive hand. "I kept trying to build boats and get offa that island until I met Sonic and Tails. And the Coconut Crew kept savin' me every time I wrecked. They were good fellas. Honestly, I took 'em for granted. They were doing their best to be my family. But if anything, I was tryin' harder! Just for a more healthy reason, I think: I wanted to see the world."

"...That's it? Just see stuff?" Surge frowned.

"Yeah! Just... I dunno. It's hard to explain. But I figured... There's so much sea to sail, and I was lookin' for something so tiny in the middle of all of it. Pointless. People who didn't want me anyway. Why was I doin' that? There's so much more out there. Places to see, people to meet... Why box myself into lookin' for what I can't have when there's so much out there to find? And I was right, too. I found the Princess. And dice halls, and mango trees. But mostly, the Princess." She grinned broadly. "We aren't blood-family of course family, but we're thick as thieves. And that's good enough for me!"

"...I swear, you do this thing where you sound twice as mature as you should in one sentence and then undo it right in the next." The tenrec muttered.

"Gotta keep you on your toes, mate~"

[matt0044]

Lily Orchard, Adults liking Kids stuff and Nuance We're Missing.

So an... intriguing reoccurring trend with Lily Orchard response videos like this is in terms of her media diet.

Namely in how she seems to prop herself as an authoritative voice in story analysis when a lot of her subjects seem to skewer towards twelve and under. It's interesting because I remember how something akin to "Why would adults watch something for kids?" being asked on Tumblr or Twitter and the replies were varied.

However, a few reason popped up regularly: kids media has more optimism in their stories compared to the baseline cynicism of adult media. There's a lot more shmutzy moment that are sincere. A lot of people just enjoy animation and how being for kids means that the story doesn't have to worry about "realism."

The list goes on but the point is that their reason is basically... escapism. The world is crappy but kids media, while not without some cynicism, often skewers away from most of the darkness of the world in favor of, say, a happy ending where things get better.

These are generalizations but they are often born from how adulting has become more and more difficult. To say nothing of how we feel like some adult media is... homework for lack of a better term. We gotta see Game of Thrones. We gotta see Breaking Bad. We gotta see what millionth drama Netflix has already canned.

So you may get a bit of bitterness in how some uphold their enjoyment of kids media because many feel like they failed at their social requirements to be this nebulous being that is an adult. Revisiting shows that we shaped us as a kid or other shows in similar veins can often inject a bit of hope that real life tries to browbeat us out of.

The problem with the likes of Lily Orchard is that they seem to carry this bitterness to an absolute fault. They don't want to admit that kids media is more up their speed but they also don't want to do "homework" as I mentioned earlier.

Yet here she is, having left the Brony community behind and propping herself up as their authority on all things... everything. And she doesn't even care when she shows her ass because it's not about friends but about followers. Followers can come and go but so long as she has those who believe in her, she feels invincible.

[aijunbi]

hi guys . I deadass js realized that long thread we had goinf on w reblogs nd stuff my reblog didnt go thru ?? like it js deleted my entire text hence y my last reblog for that thread was like blank . 😭😭😭💔 stupid tumbkr omds

ANYWAY ! i frwakinf hate the sciences so bad like im good at every other subject but science i fear id rather be hwld at gunpoint than ever touch science after i graduate🙁 PLSS i wanted to take ap osych but im lwk mad lazy for that and my skl put a 3 ap per year maximum 😅😅 like damn okay . yall js hatw to see me succeed 😒😒😒 GAWAHHH i loge dpr so much like i deadass had mood on repeat for so long bcs of this one yeonjun edit that transformed my life i fear ! MERRY GO IS SOOO freakinf Good i love it so mich

i donr have my own room guys. ive been sharing w my sister for the past few years😢😢 its okat tho idrc bc anyw im barely in my room like most of the time im js in my living room doing my work nd stuff bc ion wannna bother my stupid sister like that💔💔 also cs shes mad stinky when she gets off her shift nd is home . LMFAO omg ur evil pushing smn off their bed 😭😭😭

girl i got like 1 valentines day fic in line and i fwar i prob will not finish it b4 valentines day . god pls give me rhe will to start picking up writing again. i have this ONE fic idea that lwk is fire like acc fire like so amazeballs and awesome sauce nd shit 😊😊 pls pray i finish it !!! AND GOSH U R A GENIUSSS like ur mind works wonders… cool w u… YESS GAWDDD i love cool w u SOO MUCH its one of my favs of nwjns plus get up and hypeboy and hurt‼️‼️ ive been tucked in bed at 9:30 since like. 3rd grade. ion play when it comes to having a healthy sleep schedule i fear. i CANNOT have eyebags ever idc 💔 i would nawt look good w eyebags oms. why tf is olaf taller tahn the average girl what the hell😭😭😭

LMAO I FIGURED like why is there just a reblog there shld be smth 😭😭😭 i love science so much oml that is my BAE right there ❤️❤️ lololol i got a year before i graduate i hear the gunshots already ME NEXT !!! my ap pysch is sooo funny for some reason like i love my group frfr 🙏 you js gotta dab on the haters ning (a member of the dance club told me that) dpr is my lifeline i don't fear. no blueberries has been charting on vinh's top 3 bcuz it's js so addicting 🤓☝️

i feel bad for you twin, i can't imagine sharing a sleeping space with someone because what if they're a snorer... then what? 😞 what if they sleep talk/walk and kill me... then what? 😞😞 OHEMGEE I HATEE being in my living room...😬😬 it's peaceful but when the adults come home from work it's like all hell js broke loose. i cannot and i mean cannot handle another loud laugh coming from my anyone's mouth when i'm trying to watch tv 💔💔💔 LMFAO stinky. i call my eldest brother stinkabutt because he reaks of wtv it is. what can i say? im a pusher 😜

dear ning pls bless us with another fic before i kay em ess. PLEASEEEEE 🙏🙏 heh my friends say im special 😼 but probably not the kind of positive special... scratches head. may cwy receive more recognition because the budget for mv must've been high 😭🙏🙏 im gonna be so fr rn... 9:30 is when i eat dinner LOL. sometimes not even, like it rlly depends. i can be eating my first meal at 5pm and eat my last at 10 💀💀 i play when it comes to a sleep schedule, i remember pulling 3 all nighters in a row. pretty sure i was hallucinating on the 3rd night. eyebags kind of fit me lololol but it makes me look emo and it beats my nonchalant aura. #NOTsigmaofme

not to mention i taught a bunch of working adults who can drink, drive, and smoke brainrot. like i was explaining the difference between skibidi toilet and evil skibidi toilet, and how they're not the same but they're twins yk. and also slangs like "clock it" or "sigma/alpha" and no sigma and alpha are not the same, alpha is below sigma, you geekers.

[crackedpumpkin]

ʙʟᴀɴᴋ ᴄᴀɴᴠᴀꜱ || ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴇɴ - ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ||

a/n: Hey guys, it's CrackedPumpkinSZN here. I'm sad to announce that this fic is gonna be discontinued. I know some of you were really excited for an update, but I'm no longer connected to this fic the way I used to, and I don't want to post subpar quality that'll let both you and I down :(

I'll be updating the chapters with the stuff I've written for future chapters and all, as a sort of prelude to what I had planned originally for this. I'm really sorry again, but I hope you had a great time reading this shit show lmao, it's one of my favourite crack fics I've ever written.

Thanks for sticking with me for this leap of faith :) I'll be posting the drafts I had too, including the Prom ones! I hope you have fun with them :)

[ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] | [ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ]

“How can I solve for x if I don’t even know y?”

Miles underlines the equation once more, disbelief in his eyes as he utters, “You just solved for y.”

“Oh. No, you’re right. I did!” You scribble your final answer at the bottom triumphantly, only for your heart to sink at the sharp breath he inhales upon seeing it. “What, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how you did it, but you got the wrong answer with all the right equations.” He answers simply, letting you take the notebook from him. You scan the calculations, frowning when you don’t see anything wrong.

Well, maybe seeing nothing wrong is what’s wrong. 

You’re gonna flunk your maths test.

“Welp. That’s it. Looks like you can chalk up a failure next to your lofty list of achievements.” You state, taking a sip of your drink. “I’m unteachable.”

“C’mon, you’re not that bad…” He trails off, glancing back down at the book. “Okay, maybe you could improve a little on your logical process.” He amends. “Let’s take a break.” 

“Sounds good to me,” You shrug, pulling out your drawing pad and resuming the sketch of his eyes. “What’s your school like anyway?” You ask curiously, narrowing your eyes as you try to get the lines just right on this stupid sketch.

“It’s…decent.” Your sceptical glance makes him clear his throat, “It’s a bit more challenging, but I can handle it. What’s your best subject? Maybe we can start on that instead; try a new angle.”

“My best subject?” You hum, tapping your pencil against your drink as you try to remember. “Science, I think. I am incredible at biology. Suffice it to say that the principal does not want me to be near any lamb hearts.”

“That,” He says slowly, “is terrifying.”

“Enh,” you shrug, putting your drawing pad down to actually hold a conversation with him. Who would’ve thought? You and Miles Morales, sitting down in a cafe and studying. It’s a massive jump from blackmailing him to jumping off a building. 

He’d even allowed you to keep sketching him for inspiration, offering to help you out when you’re stuck. He’s truly an angel, agreeing to tutor a hopeless case like you. You grab the notebook he hands you, flipping it open to see detailed notes and a mind map.

“That’s pretty sick.” He seems pleased by your compliment, waving it off. 

“That? Oh, that’s nothing, just a little somethin’ I put together during study break.”

“I can tell. Y’know, the bunch of hot air that just left your mouth? It actually contributes to greenhouse gases.” You point out. He scoffs, taking back his notebook. 

“Nerd.”

The cafe is mostly quiet, with only the two of you and a cafe worker who’s busy using her phone at the counter. Makes sense though, seeing as it’s nearing midnight. Your test is tomorrow, and you've been here since six pm trying to get the concepts into your head.

Key word being trying.

“I don’t know Miles, maybe this was a bad idea after all…” you sigh in defeat, staring up at the ceiling as you slump down in the comfortable chair. 

“Hey, c’mon. Don’t say that,” He chides, leaning forward and handing you your drink. You hold out a limp hand, letting him pull you back up into proper seating posture. “We just gotta figure out how to make you retain all this info, y’know?”

“Look. This?” You hold up the notebook you’d used earlier to write down the answers to the maths questions. “This doesn’t work, dude. I can’t do this. But this ?” You put it down and pick up your sketchbook, flipping through the pages of still-drawn life to self-portraits. “This, I can do.”

An idea seems to hit him as he stares at your notebook silently, pondering on it for a good moment while you await a response. “Hang on.” He fishes through his bag, pulling out a sketchbook of his own and rapidly turning through the pages to an empty one. 

He picks up a pencil and begins to scribble something down. You eye him sceptically, pulling out your phone and beginning to scroll through social media. A video of Spiderman saving yet another civilian appears on your feed, watching it with interest when something catches your eye.

“Morales, can I ask you a question?” He looks up when you call his name, raising a brow in curiosity. Turning the phone screen around, you show him the paused video where he’s running along the side of a building in his full suit, with an unzipped backpack in hand and Jordans on his feet. 

“Do spidey-powers really affect your footwear too? How would that even work?” The question leaves him speechless, and you can practically see the cogs turning in his mind as he struggles to provide an answer. 

“Just Spiderman things, I dunno,” he replies after giving it some thought. 

You raise an eyebrow at his answer. "Just Spiderman things, huh?" you repeat, tapping your phone thoughtfully. "So, you're telling me that web-slinging and wall-running somehow doesn't mess up your sneakers, but your powers can make you run up walls? Seems a little... contradictory, don't you think?"

Miles rubs the back of his neck, clearly not prepared to discuss the intricacies of his web-slinging physics. "Look, it’s not like I control the science behind it," he shrugs, clearly evading the topic. "It just... works, okay?"

You smirk, enjoying his discomfort, but then a more serious thought crosses your mind. You look back at your sketchbook, flipping through the pages absentmindedly. “You know,” you begin, your voice quieter, “I really do need to get this math down, or I’m definitely failing. I mean, the fact that you’re sitting here tutoring me is pretty cool, but I’m not getting it the way I should .”

Miles glances at you, and for a second, he looks almost like he wants to say something reassuring. Then he just gives you a small, encouraging smile. “You’ll get it. Maybe... not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. You’re not stupid. You just think differently.”

You blink, taken aback by his words. It wasn’t something you expected to hear. The way he said it, with that quiet confidence, made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you could do it. You weren’t just a hopeless case.

You let out a sigh, leaning back in your chair, still not fully convinced, but willing to give it another shot. "Alright, alright, I'll give it one more try... but only if you promise not to laugh when I inevitably get it wrong again."

Miles chuckles, shaking his head. "You got it. But I’m serious. You can do it." He holds up his sketchbook, showing you what he’s been scribbling.

On the page are rough doodles, but they’re not just random sketches. They’re visual explanations of the math concepts you’ve been struggling with. Diagrams, symbols, even funny little characters to represent different variables.

“You ever think about drawing out your problems?” Miles asks, a little embarrassed by his own ideas, but clearly invested. “Sometimes it helps to put things on paper the way you think about them. Like, I’m visualizing the math, but through pictures. Could work for you too.”

You blink at the page in front of you, your curiosity piqued. "This... this might actually make sense." You nod slowly, flipping through the doodles. “Alright, so I’m basically turning the math problems into comics?”

“Exactly,” Miles grins. “Turn the problem into a story, and the solution just kinda... follows.”

The idea of translating numbers and equations into something visual starts to settle in your mind. You nod, more determined now than before. "Okay, I’ll try it. If nothing else, at least I get to doodle."

"That's the spirit," he says, leaning back in his chair as you pick up your pencil. "But no matter what, you’re not a failure. You just gotta find your own way to get it."

The enthusiastic smile on your face falters upon glancing at the thick textbook on the table. The sight of it saps all your energy instantly, staring at the taunting words on the cover. Your hand reaches for your drink, only to find it empty. 

“...I’m gonna need a lot more coffee for this.”

— — — — — — 

“Hold on. You got the same answers?” Michael scoffs in disbelief, his sneakers scuffing against the tiled floor of your school hallway.  He’d bounded over to your seat after the bell rang, test papers handed in, cheerily exclaiming how easy it’d been.

The shock sets in when he rattles off the answers he wrote down, only to pause when you chime in, telling him you got the same answers for questions five through ten.

He blinks, poking your arm repeatedly until you give him an annoyed glance. “Are you sure you haven’t been replaced by an alien?” he asks incredulously. “You? Forever in the negatives in Math?”

“Did you cheat or something?” Nicole asks, effortlessly joining your conversation as she slips into step beside you. “I mean…” She raises an eyebrow when you give her a side-eye. “It’s a possibility. I respect it, personally.”

You roll your eyes, coming to a stop. “For your information,” you place your hands on your hips, a smug grin creeping onto your face, “I studied .”

The two of them stare wide-eyed before they exchange a glance, bursting into a fit of giggles. “Very funny, pinto. But for real, how’d you do it?”

“I just told you,” you huff, continuing to walk while feeling mildly insulted. You couldn’t really be mad at their reactions, though. Before Miles had helped you out, every study session with the both of them always ended up the same way: you, leaning back in a chair with an open textbook over your face and praying osmosis would come in handy for once.

The sound of your name being called makes you turn, blinking when Miss Dawson approaches. Michael stands dumbly at your side before Nicole grabs his wrist, tugging him away. 

“Miss Dawson,” you greet, your attention drawn by the paper in her hands. “Is there anything you need? If this is about the melted crayons, I can explain-”

“Not that, dear,” she waves it off before pausing, your words sinking in. However, she dismisses it with a shake of her head, handing you a flyer. You take it, scanning its contents before raising your head.

“You want me to participate in an art competition?”

“Not just any art competition, dear.” She points at a specific line, and your head stutters in your chest when you process it. 

Winners will have the opportunity to display their piece in The Metropolitan Museum of Art. 

Your eyes widen as you reread the line. “ The Met?” you repeat, voice an octave higher than usual.

“Yes, the Met,” Miss Dawson confirms with a warm smile. “It’s an extraordinary opportunity for young artists to showcase their talent. And I believe you have what it takes to stand out.”

You hesitate, the significance of her words pressing down on you. The Met. It’s no small deal. You think about your art, the hours you’ve poured into it, the tentative pride you’ve felt when something turned out just right. But is it really Met material?

“I don’t know,” you start, biting the inside of your cheek. “There are probably a ton of people who are better at this than me.”

Miss Dawson tilts her head, her expression a mix of patience and encouragement. “That may be true, but none of them can create what you create. Art isn’t about comparison, it’s about expression. Your perspective matters.”

Her words tug at something deep inside you, and for a moment, you let yourself imagine it: your work hanging in the grand hall, visitors pausing to admire it, whispering about its depth and emotion (possibly buying it too). You exhale, feeling a flicker of determination ignite.

“Okay,” you say, straightening your posture. “I’ll do it.” You glance at the flyer again, nerves still buzzing under your skin, but your lips curve into a confident smile as you add, “I can do this.”

Miss Dawson’s smile widens. “That’s the spirit. The sign-up sheet is in the art room. Don’t wait too long, though. The deadline is Friday.”

“Got it,” you reply, already moving toward the art room with a shaky grin.

I can do this.

— — — — — — 

“I can’t do this,” you blurt out, collapsing onto the floor next to Miles.

He looks up from his sub mid-chew, one eyebrow raised.

You place the drink you’d grabbed for him next to you, running a hand through your hair. “What was I thinking? The Met? The Met? I’m not ready for this. What if I embarrass myself? What if—”

Miles holds up a hand to silence you, still chewing. He swallows deliberately, then says, “First off, thanks for the drink.” He takes another bite of his sandwich, his nonchalant demeanor both infuriating and grounding.

“Second,” he continues after a pause, “you’ve already decided to do it, right? So why freak out now? Worst case, you don’t win. Big deal. Best case, your art’s in the Met, and I get to brag that I know the artist.”

You groan, leaning back against the wall. “You’re too chill about this.”

“And you’re too hard on yourself,” he counters, gesturing at you with the half-eaten sub. “You’ve got this. Just... don’t psych yourself out before you even start.”

You sigh, staring up at the night sky. The stars above twinkle in that mocking way of theirs, making you frown. “I guess.”

Miles gives you a lopsided grin. “That’s the spirit. Kind of.”

You groan, burying your head in your hands. “I don’t even know what to draw,” you grumble, your voice muffled against your palms. “The theme is self-identity . Like, what does that even mean? Who even am I? Am I even real? And how am I supposed to figure that out on paper?”

Miles chuckles softly, chewing the last bite of his sub. You peek at him through your fingers, your rant far from over.

“I need inspiration,” you declare, throwing your hands into the air. “Maybe I need, like, an endorsement. Yeah, that’s it. An endorsement from Spider-Man himself.” You glance at him dramatically. “You wouldn’t happen to know the guy, would you? Maybe he could swing by, tell me I’m doing great, and give me an idea or two.”

He leans back, arms crossed, watching your theatrics with pure amusement. “You done?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.

“No,” you reply flatly, flopping back against the bench. “But go ahead. Enlighten me, oh wise one.”

Miles shakes his head, his grin softening. He places a hand on your shoulder, the gesture unexpectedly comforting. “Look, I get it. Sometimes, when I’m stuck on stuff, like really stuck, I just go for a swing through Brooklyn. Suit on, city lights, the works. Clears my head every time.”

You blink up at him, your interest piqued. “That… actually makes sense.” A spark of excitement lights up in your eyes, and you grab his shoulders, your voice rising with enthusiasm. “Let me try it! Oh my God, please. Just one swing! Maybe the adrenaline will give me ideas.”

Miles laughs, leaning back slightly to escape your iron grip. “Hold up, hold up. That’s not exactly how it works.”

“Why not?” you demand, undeterred. “You said it helps you. It could totally help me too!”

“I don’t think you realize what you’re asking,” he says, smirking. “Swinging around the city is not as easy as it looks.”

“I’ll figure it out,” you say confidently, already buzzing with anticipation. “Come on, Miles. Please?” You clasp your hands together in mock prayer. “Just think of it as helping an artist in need.”

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?”

“Only if you say no,” you shoot back with a grin. “But surely you wouldn’t leave a civilian artist hanging, would you?”

Miles shakes his head, muttering something under his breath before standing up. “Alright, but if you puke or break something, that’s on you. Deal?”

“Deal!” you chirp, practically jumping to your feet. “This is gonna be amazing.”

He gives you a wary look, though there’s a small smile tugging at his lips. “We’ll see about that.”

— — — — — 

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