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remembrance-of-light · 4 months ago

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On Patricia Piccinini: CARE

Exhibited by Museum MACAN.

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Notes:

The description of the artwork (IND/ENG) I put mostly based on the curatorial sheet, added with bits of my opinion as someone who's not professional and doesn't study art in a formal way.

Enjoy your stay!

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There was this kind of strange and foreign feeling when I visited this art exhibition back in May.

Karya yang hyperrealistic menampilkan bentuk-bentuk hibrida yang... asing, tetapi mungkin. Persis seperti apa yang diimajinasikan Piccinini.

Pameran CARE oleh Piccinini merupakan reka dari suatu masa dimana batasan-batasan telah sirna.

Ketika teknologi sudah amat pesat dan lingkungan terlampau rusak, amat mungkin bagi manusia, hewan, tumbuhan, bahkan sol sepatu untuk lebur menjadi satu makhluk baru, hibrida.

Saat itu tiba, maka kita memiliki tantangan untuk dapat hidup bersama terlepas dari dunia yang tak lagi sama.

Untuk itu, Piccinini menawarkan sekaligus mempertanyakan peran welas asih (peduli; care) dalam melekatkan jalinan hidup kita.

Welas asih merupakan sesuatu yang mampu menggerakkan kita untuk tetap tumbuh dan bertahan, untuk bahu membahu kendati dihadapkan oleh perbedaan.

Melalui CARE, Piccinini hendak melihat bagaimana kita merasakan dan menunjukkan emosi tersebut ketika dihadapkan dengan sosok yang tidak lagi kita tahu.

Here are some of my favorites from the exhibition that I can show to you guys.

No Fear of Depths (2019).

Eksplorasi konsep motherhood dimana makhluk non-manusia dapat merawat anak manusia.

Menampilkan lumba-lumba punggung bungkuk Australia yang eksistensinya tidak hanya rentan, tetapi juga memiliki kehidupan keluarga yang kompleks seperti kita.

The Couple (2018).

Layaknya karya yang lain, The Couple atau Sejoli merupakan usaha Piccinini dalam memaknai ulang suatu narasi.

Dalam konteks ini, ia merekonstruksi kisah sang monster dalam Frankenstein karya Mary Shelley dimana sang monster dapat menemukan rumah dan kasih yang hangat.

I immediately fell in love with the set of this artwork. The house, the props, the voyeuristic sense we get as we peek inside while both of the owners still asleep — Piccinini cleverly orchestrated all of this.

The Offering (2018).

Merupakan karya yang secara khusus dibuat Piccinini untuk disentuh pengunjung. Nama Offering atau Persembahan sendiri merepresentasikan bagaimana karya ini digunakan untuk memuaskan rasa keingintahuan pengunjung terhadap rasa dari karya yang dibuat sang perupa.

͏Keingintahuan pengunjung pada akhirnya akan mengubah bentuknya hingga ia tak lagi sama seperti sedia kala.

And this reminds me of Marina Abramovic's Rhythm 0 where she let the audience interact and experiment with her body.

͏Satu di antara sekian banyak yang membedakan Rhythm 0 dan The Offering adalah bagaimana Piccinini secara intensional memilih figur bayi. Secara natural, respon terhadap Rhythm 0 dan The Offering sudah pasti berbeda, but I'm curious to see how people would treat the baby.

Would the baby figure somehow psychologically affect the way people treat it? Would people treat The Offering with gentleness like how they treat a human baby?

͏I'm curious to find out when I revisit this exhibition.

—

Reference

on Marina Abramovic's Rhythm 0

vimeo.com/71952791

#museummacan #museum visit #art museum #art exhibition #patricia piccinini

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murswrites · 4 years ago

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hi my dude so can i please get worried #11 with thomas because he might be an asshole but he's one with a soft side - no matter how much st*ven kn*ght tries to hide it. you also already know how much i love your writing, but let me just remind you again 👉 👈 hah ily take care, amirah xx

Pairings: Thomas Shelby x Reader Fandom: Peaky Blinders MASTERLIST, 1k Celebration Imagine Post! Warnings: Awkwardness (hehe), worried!tommy (zoo wee mama)

Worried #11: “Take my bed tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

A/N Fuck canon Tommy (both metaphorically and lit rally) I’m doing fanservice for the rest of my boring ass life I STG & Reka, ILY MORE Honestly idk where tf I went w/this but have it :D also, idk if i hate this or not-

The streetlamps did nothing for the darkness as you searched for a familiar face or home. You knew a lot of the people on Watery Lane due to the fact that you used to walk this way to school as a child. Maybe it was the chill in your bones or the lack of light on the street that made you run into the body, you didn’t know nor care.

Apparently the body cared as they let out a string of curses in an all too familiar voice. “What the fuck--”

“Mr. Shelby?”

"Y/N? Is that you? Bloody hell, I could have sworn you were about a foot shorter,” You nodded as he walked beneath a streetlamp, “What’re you doing over here at this time of the night?”

You shrugged, “I left home. I can’t deal with my dad’s bullshite anymore.”

His eyebrows creased as he listened intently, “Have you got anywhere to stay?” You wouldn’t lie, you were embarrassed when you shook your head no. “It wouldn’t be odd for me to offer somewhere to sleep, would it?”

“No, of course not. I’m eighteen, mind you.”

Thomas shook his head and sighed, “Alright, come on then. I’m sure we have some clothes that ought to fit you.”

You had only been inside the Shelby house once before. When Finn Shelby pushed your brother a tad too hard and dislocated Henry’s arm and Polly Gray had to pop it back in place. But it hadn’t changed one bit, the house... it was still cozy and nicely decorated with a woman’s touch.

“Take my bed tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I can’t do that,”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t want to put you out in your own home,”

He shrugged, “Nonsense, you’re in need of a good night's sleep and despite how small that fuckin’ thing is, it’s comfortable.”

#amirahs 1k celebration #thomas shelby x reader #vhsdrexms #tom shelby #tommy shelby #tom shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders #pew pew pew? more like queue queue queue

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mioumukuro · 4 years ago

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What if?

Alright here we have a cross over between two animes:

Katekyo hitman reborn and Inazuma eleven (go)!

It's just a short scenario or scenes each of them has a plot, free to request!

But I'll include only OCS

Females only, unless it's a girl character X oc boy or a male reader

If you wanna an X reader text me in private message and I'll write one for you (sure if I'm not tired up with something)

The first thing popes in my head is this plot:

When he turns to a baby

You were with him doing (your favourite hobby). But he bothered you

So You accidentally you wished that he was a child letting you in peace,you didn't mean it literally but for your bad luck a stalking witch up in a cloud☁️ heard you.and make your wish true!

So how will you react at this ?and will he be like you wished or over control?

We'll see some reaction of some ocs I know

Let's start with Inazuma eleven go :

Character: matsukaze tenma

Oc:oki hina

Scenario:

he started crying when he saw a tall woman with long orange hair grabbed in a ponytail

You turned to him to see if something is wrong or to be more clear from where this noise come from?

It's impossible to have a baby (yet) you get married just few weeks ago

You wondered if it's a son/daughter's nightbors

(I forgot to mention that these scenarios are played in an island ^^')

So you looked around but what get your attention is the touch of a tiny grab

Tenma was grabbing barely a piece of your blue sky dress

You smiled at him and bent down ,

Holding his little body and pull toward you ,

Wiping away his shower tears, he looked at you confused,

You were also wondering how he turned to a baby in a snap of seconds?

He can't know neither you do

"are you hungry?" You asked

he can't answer

But you know in another way

He can't talk but he acts do

He was licking his index finger

His saliva rolling down his tiny hand

You put him on a sofa and go to bring him food

When you came back

He was still there sitting like an angel

He wasn't noisy or troublesome

You pull the spoon to his mouth full of fruity yogort

He didn't hesitate and open his mouth

You feed him till he pulled the spoon away

Like any baby his face was a mess

You took a napkin and clean his face carefully

He giggled

Now his belly is full

He pointed at a soccer ball

You look toward where he pointed

You get it

He want to play football!

You took him to the garden of your house and start playing

You couldn't imagine passing your day with a cute child like him

And still you miss his elder version,

Your caring,sweet,protective , cheerful man

Till the sunset

You forgot about time

When you realized it

You took his hand to enter your house

At your surprise you felt a large soft hand holding yours

You turned to see him in his usual form

You happily hugged him

Can't help but to drop some tears from happiness

Glad that your precious husband is back!

Character: tsurugi kyousuke

Oc:hyuga nanami

Scenario:

You were busy doing your hobby till you noticed some strange doodles on the wall

You thought it was your imagination but you believed it once you saw it whole the hall way

Who in the earth would do this?

Besides where is your lazy husband?

As his usual ,when something like this happen he would yell

But silence was the only thing claiming the house

You walked up the stairs to check up

Holding a knife in your hand

Who knows maybe a thief is somewhere in your house.

You can expect anything!

Once you unlocked the door of your shared bedroom

You saw what you didn't expected it to happen

Ever!

Your lazy husband turned to a baby boy

Messing up the room

Either the walls and floors didn't escaped from his sketches

You were about to yell at him but you couldn't resist at his cuteness

You bent to see what he is doing

He drew you and him with a red heart besides of it

"aww you're so cute" you said while you hugged him

It's true that he is not that cold like you used to

But still it's embarrassing for him

He tried his best to escape from your lovely hugs

But you won't let this chance go away

You played with him hide and seek

He succeeded in finding you every time

Not because you are bad or anything

You were hidden well

But he did notice your moves and read your personality before

So he knows you

Really

really Well!

You pouted as he found you

You give up

He set next to you yawning

You know that he tired

Then you goes to sleep as well

You passed whole the day playing with him

It was a nice day

To see another side from him

After all this time

In your sleep

He returned to his form

Holding your waist

Pulling you close to him

Wishing sweet dreams for you

Character: Saryuu evan

Oc: Matsukaze hikari

Scenario:

As you always know your husband were climbing some banana trees to make banana's cake

Again

You heard a noise outside

You rushed toward the location to find

A baby boy with banana in both hands of his

You giggled at the fact

You found him cute

Extremely cute!

You didn't hesitate to take him to home

You gave him a lot of plushies

Every plushie you have you put it around him

He frightened and start crying

You struggles

How he could cry in this situation?

The cause of his crying was silly

He didn't find his banana's gun

"ohh that's so,I should know it" you sigh and gave him the thing

Once he saw it he clapped his hands and start making noises

As if he was shooting fire at the plushies

You sweat drop

Even his child version still he likes to control and scares other

You can't help it but to play as well

The interesting thing is that he didn't shoot at you

He was protecting you

Like a charming prince

You put your hands on your red cheeks

He grabbed your hand and drag you to outside

Still a kid but he jumped out of the window like a Tarzan

How fool XD

You jumped after him to catch him

Since you found him earlier lying in the ground

But he surprised you again by saving you from falling

Yup

He turned to his original form

You hugged him tightly not letting him go

Either not letting him breath

But not for long

As you noticed it

Now to khr's characters:

Character: Yamamoto Takeshi

Oc: Reka (xanxus's sister)

Sorry idk his first name so I can't mention

You were waiting your husband Takeshi to came back from his morning training

Of course Mukuro was coach of this trainings

Every morning he would wake the males and force them to practice some sports

So they can get strong

Anyway

You were enjoying the fact he is absent you can eat anything

What your heart desires

On your way you found his baseball bat

You hold it and swing it here and there

Imagining yourself playing baseball

And Takeshi cheering you !

How sweet~

But you were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door

Hmm

Who would visit you in this time of the day?

You don't have much of guests

Since you scare nearly everyone

Except some bodies

You curiously open the door

About to say some shitty words

Till your green eyes catched a little figure Infront of you

You recognised who he was

So you wondered how that happened?

But you get it

It was your wish

It doesn't bothered you

Cause you won't be embarrassed anymore

You feed him,play with him, having a nice long day

He even helped you on cleaning dishes

Still a small idiot baseball's lover

But he was strong enough to help you

You were glad

You couldn't stop watching him walk,crowl, jumping

He was just cute and adorable

AS you wouldn't imagine it

But you get a little mad at him as he broke your things

Cut your machines

But you forgive him

He is just a child

"how can I get mad at you,who is the cutest baby?yes it's you" you poked his cheeks

Playing with his cheeks as if it's made of slim (idk how to write it correctly so don't judge me)

When you put your hand on his cheeks admiring his cute big eyes

He turned back to his normal form

Along you gasp and fall down embarrassed

Character:Hibari kyoya

Oc:Atsuki sawada

Scenario:

You enjoy decoration a lot

Even Hibari was one of your experiments

He would leave every morning to escape from you ribbons and sparkles

Gladly no one saw him or he won't be scary like he is known

Today you didn't hear him saying his usual phrase "I'll bite you to death"

It's strange .

But you heard a collide of metals

You thought it would be Mukuro

Because you know that every time they meet no way that wouldn't fight

Their desire and favourite thing they would do

You called him several times

But no response

He used to sigh and came

You saw his hibird flying around

"Hibari Hibari...is a baby"

"what?" Was all what you said

You rushed to check up on him

He was sitting next to the mini table

But in a child's size!

You put your hand on your mouth

Not believing

He is not just adorable

But this your chance to decorate his black hair without worrying if would escape

Even if he thinks to do ,he can't

Cause his tiny body can't go longer than reaching the window

He was pissed off

As he saw the red ribbons and some make up on his face

Disappointed

Is the best word that would express what he is feeling right now

He didn't cried but he bited you

Even he has small teeth

Still it hurts

You slapped him accidentally

Then he sniffed and start crying

You gasped and gave him some candies you have but still he didn't stop crying so you kissed his cheek at this time he turned back holding you tightly.

#katekyo hitman reborn #hibari #takeshi #tenma #tsurugi #saru #what if #writing #2020 #Miou #ocs #khr #vongola #mafia #anime #supernatural

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danwhobrowses · 3 years ago

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20 AEW Dark and Elevation Regulars that AEW should sign

Now I know, AEW has a very stacked roster, in fact I've considered writing an essay on the risk of AEW's growing roster being top-heavy

I mean we've barely scraped the potential of Brian Cage, Scorpio Sky, Wardlow, Sammy Guevara, TH2, Sonny Kiss, Matt Sydal, Proud and Powerful, Nick Comoroto, Will Hobbs, Serena Deeb (who I know is injured atm), and many more. But with Rampage oncoming maybe there is room for them.

But, we'll stick a pin in that for now, because tonight is AEW's 100th Episode of Dark. A big deal still considering it's one of AEW's 2 weekly youtube wrestling shows, and one of AEW's many Youtube weekly shows if you include vlogs such as BTE, SammysVlogs, Ethan Page's vlog and the AEW-promotional Countdown to and Outside the Ring with Lexy Nair segments and the Unrestricted Podcast. In the pandemic era, Dark became a home to several indie talents in need for work, some got signed but not all, so I'm gonna list 10 men's and 10 women's wrestlers who were regulars on Dark and Elevation who AEW can and should still sign

Note: I will not be including wrestlers who look set for regularity, so Wheeler Yuta, Jora Johl, Fuego and the Wingmen won't be on the list, as will any AEW Women's tournament entrants (Maki Itoh, Madi Wrenkowski, Nicole Savoy etc.). Danny Limelight and Konosuke Takeshita are also signed to MLW and DDT Pro just fyi

10 Men AEW should sign

The men's division is already stacked, and it has a lot of up and comers too, but there are still a few areas where AEW's Dark stalwarts have proven they can fill a void for.

Honorable mentions for: JDX, El Australiano, M'Badu, Jake St. Patrick, Brick Aldridge, Megabyte Ronnie, Suge 'Pineapple Pete' D and Vary Morales. Also Kidd Bandit, but he hasn't wrestled on Dark or Elevation so I couldn't add him in.

10. Marty Casaus Better known as Marty 'the Moth' Martinez from Lucha Underground, Marty trained with AEW after some time out with injury and made some appearances on Dark. As the Moth, Marty demonstrated his character work as a gross heel, but his size was also an asset to his disturbed and near-psychotic persona.

9. Dean Alexander An alumnus of the Nightmare Factory, Alexander has frequented on Dark and Elevation usually in tag action where he hasn't been able to get his dickhead persona across. He is your traditional cocky heel which in the Nightmare Factory showcases has led to his hilarious downfalls, even losing to Negative One in his multiple failures to win in the Main Event of these showcases. Frankly, this is what Baron Corbin should be like if you're gonna mock him, he's also very impressive in the ring.

8. Dillon McQueen Another Nightmare Factory alum, Dillon McQueen has also only been used for jobbing, but his character is actually great. The King of Queens, Dillon brims charisma that would be a winner for crowds, but he has a babyface fire to him as well, easily could be a rising talent with the right training.

7. Dan Barry To be honest, I like his Hawaiian Shirts. He has a lot of experience in the indies and can work in a similar way Colt Cabana works balancing serious and comedy wrestling, would just be pretty cool to see him more.

6. & 5. TNT (Terrence and Terrell Hughes) Sons of D-Von Dudley, TNT have had less appearances on AEW as of recent, which is a shame, because they can definitely be developed as some of the next gen tag teams the Acclaimed and Blonds have been. AEW haven't shied from legacy wrestlers in the past, and the duo definitely have potential.

4. Chandler Hopkins Chandler Hopkins has shown up to be squashed by the big men a lot, but somehow he also manages to eke out some strong entertainment and fluid wrestling in it. His match against Brian Cage is an effective example of this. Like Fuego, Chandler is definitely someone you can use on the undercard for some enhancement, maybe even push up once more character comes across.

3. Ryzin Ryzin has stuck with AEW for quite a while now, even having skits on BTE. The Unholy Father however never got a W on AEW, which is a shame because he has character and promo skills in hand. He could easily be a fit for Chaos Project as well or teamed with Abandon in a James Mitchell kinda role.

2. Carlie Bravo One of the first class alums of the Nightmare Factory, Carlie Bravo remains charismatic and athletic in his showings, he even had a great little pairing with Shawn Dean until Dean's signing, I'd love to see them bring that back - two Navy veterans tearing up the tag scene would be pretty awesome.

1. Baron Black Few have stayed the course during the pandemic era like Baron Black. Debuting in April and still yet to get his first win, he was one of the three touted stars by Cody on Sammy's vlog who he encouraged to be booked around the world because of his workrate and skill. If anyone has earned it that isn't named Fuego del Sol (or that other name Cody mentioned), it's Baron Black.

10 Women AEW should sign In contrast to the men's division, AEW's women's roster does look like it could use some buffing, for midcard and even building more stars.

Honorable mentions are plenty in this one, so just missing out are the following: Ashley D'Amboise, Leila Grey, Renee Michelle, Jazmin Allure, Savannah Evans, Willow Nightingale, the Renegade Twins, Holidead, Kenzie Paige, Jennacide and Brooke Havok (who I would guess will be signed once her leg recovers).

10. Ashley Vox With or without her Sea Stars tag partner, Delmi Exo, Ashley Vox has proven herself a frequent flier for AEW. Talented in singles and tag competition. She also has a strong rapport with many of AEW's current roster.

9. Alex Gracia The Pink Dream has been on ROH as of recent but remains a freelancer, her last appearance being a squash from Dr. Britt Baker DMD. AEW must've been high on Gracia at one point because they gave her a title shot on Dynamite. With experience in Shimmer and Stardom, Gracia would definitely be a worthy addition.

8. Tesha Price Another woman who AEW put on Dynamite rare times, Tesha proved herself to play face and heel during her time on Dark and Elevation. As a heel she showed a lot of fire especially against KiLynn King and Ryo Mizunami, the Psycho Sweetheart definitely has something she can give to the division - who are tbf lacking in heels right now.

7. Vertvixen I am not sure what it is about Vertvixen specifically, but whenever I see her I think she has the look, not to mention the athleticism to boot. Her triple threat on MPW against Jennacide and Jazmin Allure was a definite highlight as of recent.

6. Miranda Alize A former Mae Young Classic competitor, like Jennacide and Gracia she's recently been used by ROH, but she is definitely a confident wrestler and does not shy from the intergender matches either, having fought Laredo Kid and Danny Limelight. She's worked with many impressive wrestlers too, including an Impact Knockouts Title match against Jordynne Grace and matches against Deonna, Taya and Tessa.

5. Reka Tehaka The Samoan Savage may've debuted on AEW's first ever house show, but regular Dark and Elevation appearances have been met with positive reactions. Being partly trained by the Nightmare Factory, Tehaka has done well to establish herself despite only wrestling for a year and a half, she could definitely be a prospect.

4. Veda Scott Okay, so I cheated a little by saying no competitors, but I could not leave out Veda on this list. She has in-ring talent and intergender experience - tagging with her Speedball husband - but on AEW Dark and the Deadly Draw she proved herself excellent on commentary. A female voice in the booth even for just the women's matches would go a long way for the division and Veda's the perfect voice for it.

3. Dani Jordyn The Mean Girl is definitely someone you can call a regular on Dark and Elevation. She works hard and works with a lot of main roster talent, and I don't think I've seen her put on a bad match. So it would be nice to reward her with a contract.

2. Diamante It still baffles me actually that Diamante has yet to become All Elite. Deadly Draw winner and involved in a lot of the Elevation/Dark women's feuds, Diamante has a wealth of knowledge and experience under her belt. She's still popular with fans and can easily step back into her LAX days by pairing with the Inner Circle. Few unsigned talent have won as much as her too, I would say it's when rather than if, but when is taking a long ass time.

1. KiLynn King The three names Cody praised highly were Fuego, Baron Black and KiLynn King, so I think above all else they should be given contracts. In fact, I was surprised King wasn't on the Dark 100 card, by virtue that although King has shown up on Dynamite a few times, she has been on Dark and Elevation 41 times since debuting in May 2020, it was a shock that someone so regular wasn't on the card. King showed she could work as the bully heel but also as a charismatic babyface, even having a little faction brewing with Swole and Red Velvet as RSK, but when crowds came back we seemed to drop the potential of AEW's first all-women faction. King is over with fans...so long as you don't put her against someone as over as Thunder Rosa, and she has put on some lowkey bangers during her time on AEW, especially the one against Riho. Tall and powerful, but fun in the ring and outside the ring with clips of her in the crowd chanting and even vibing to Angelico's music. King would definitely be on the top of my list of AEW Dark regulars that deserve a contract.

I'm sure I might've missed some and opinions may differ, but I think these lot would definitely be able to fit into AEW effortlessly thanks to their time on Dark and Elevation. Many of whom could be used to build or become future champions themselves, and I hope still to see more of them beyond Dark 100.

#aew #aew dark #aew dark elevation #aew dark 100 #all elite wrestling

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circuit-music · 4 years ago

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2020 Music Recommendations

2020 – WHAT A SHIT YEAR! There was so much craziness in those 365 days – from politics to a pandemic. Music was often times one of those things we could take comfort in or use it as a tool to express a range of emotions. I’m always surprised when compiling these list (of which I’ve been doing for 20+ years now it seems) that no matter the state of the world, there is always an overabundance of great music to be discovered. 2020 musically, delivered - including surprising returns from some bands who’ve been rather quiet in the past years like Consolidated, Cabaret Voltaire, and Portion Control.

The majority of what I listen to is electronic based music, with techno-body music being my favorite and there was STILL PLENTY of that in 2020 from labels like Aufnahme+Wiedergabe, Fleisch, Bite, X-IMG, Sonic Groove, SOIL, and more. Occasionally something a little lighter like the ethereal shoe-gaze goodness of Mint Julep (“Stray Fantasies” was an amazing record), or the post-punk of House of Harm (wonderful new discovery this year with “Viscous Pastimes”) and Sure (you all slept on “20 years” in 2020) works its way in to my listening. I still find synth pop from the likes of Riki, Korine, Tanz Waffen and Wingtips wonderfully appeasing. The wave material from the likes of Handful of Snowdrops, Linea Aspera, Zanias, Hante., Minuit Machine and Replicant was perfect for those melancholy moods. I even dipped into some aggressive near metal stuff this year from the likes of Pudeur, ESA and Youth Code – perfect for those days of anger. Oh, and I was thrilled to see a lot of exclusive, unreleased and remixed Curve material surface this year – a band who embraces several genres (walls of guitar, shoe gaze, industrial) and moods.

This isn’t a top 10, top 25 or even a top 100. Instead, it’s an A-Z recommendation list encompassing many genres as those lines are getting more and more blurred. A good tune is a good tune, regardless of genre.

HIGHLY encourage you to get out there and seek out new music; Visit the record stores, go hear a new DJ, fire up Spotify or another streaming service, check out some new music via podcast, DJ mixes, label sites, online retailers, even Facebook. One of the best sources for discovering new music is BandCamp - who in 2020 with the pandemic started BandCamp Fridays in which the site waived its normal fees to assist artist impacted. Taking place, the first Friday of every month, those will continue in 2021. There’s a plethora of discoveries to be found out there. If you do the work, you’ll be rewarded ;) Speaking of Spotify – I made a playlist this year featuring plenty of the bands on my list. There’s at least a track or more from the artist who have a presence on Spotify. Sadly a few bands on this list aren’t on the platform, but check BandCamp and you can have a listen. Here’s the link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02kQJZE7uvJxwHJD8j8zrh?si=SHlP4mVRTuaRejh6So3Mig

As in years past I’m certain I missed a few things, ignored the hype on certain releases or just plain forgotten something. It’s a chore to compile this list, but I love to do it. There’s a ton of new pioneering music out there for sure waiting to be discovered and it’s the “what’s next” that keeps me a motivated music fan. There’s never a dull moment in speaking, writing, DJ'ing or promoting new music, so I’ll keep doing it and hopefully be a guide for you all ;). If it needs mention and I overlooked it - I may do an addendum in the next week or so. Anyways, got your notepaper and plenty of beverages ready? Don’t be a TL:DR (Too Long: Didn’t Read) fool. Read up. Enjoy the music of 2020!

Onwards with the list!!! :D

2+2=5 - “Hidden In Plain Sight “ (COUP)

Absolute Body Control - “1980/2020” 3xLP (Oraculo Records)

Agent 15 - “Voices In My Head” (Drone)

Ah Cama-Sotz - “New Skin for Old Tribals “ (Self-released)

Andi - “Corpse to Corpus” 12” (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)

Arabian Panther - “The Way of the Pentinent” EP (SOIL)

Arnaud Rebotini – “Workout: This is a Quarantine EP6” (Self-released)

Autumns - "You Always Taught Me Better" LP (Detriti Records)

Benedek - “Mr. Goods” 12” (L.I.E.S.)

Blac Kolor - “Extinction” EP (Aufnahme+Widergabe)

Blacksmith - “Dominated” (X-IMG)

Blitzkrieg Baby - “Remixed” (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)

Blush Response - “Void In” LP (Megastructure) - “Void Out” (Megastructure)

Body Beat Ritual - "Raw Dogs” EP (Pleasure Corp)

Body Divide - “Pleasure From Pain” (Squarewav)

Cabaret Voltaire - “Shadow of Fear” LP (Self-released)

Calvary Stone - “Hate Unit” (Soil)

Caustic - “The King of EBM” (Self-released)

Cervello Elettronico - “No Sides” EP (SquareWav)

Choke Chain - “Chain Tactics” (Self-released) - “Grave” (Self-released)

Chris Shape - “Shaped to Deform” (Unknown Pleasures Records)

Chrome Corpse - “Detecting Movement” Ltd. Edition 12" EP (Oraculo Records) - “Helmet Mounted Display” (Self-released)

Chrome Corpse / Decent News - “Split” (Self-Released)

Codex Empire - “Broken by Fear" Ltd. 12” (Horo) - “Protected by Rage” 12” (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)

Cold Cave - “Waving Hands” (self-releaesed)

Comfort Cure - “Serpentine City” (Rec.Body.Ltd)

Consolidated - “Capitalism” (Self-released)

Crystal Geometry - “Samiam” EP (Sacred Court) - “Senestre” 2x12” (Sonic Groove)

Curve - “Blindfold EP - Bootleg EP Series 1” (Self-released) - “Curve Oddities Bootleg Series 3” (Self-released) - “Curve Oddities Bootleg Series 5” (Self-released) - “Horror Head Raw DAT Mixes Bootleg Series 4” (Self-released)

Cyan ID - “Blurred Revelation” (X-IMG)

Dive - “Where Do We Go From Here” Ltd. Ed Box set (Out Of Line)

E.L.I. - “Dying to Live” (SOIL)

E.S.A. - “Burial 10” (Negative Gain Productions) - “Eat Their Young / The Scorn” (Negative Gain Productions)

Einstruzende Neubauten – “Alles In Allem” (Potomak)

Evil Dust - “Desolation” (Crave Tapes)

Fatal Morgana - “The Destructive Remixes” 12" (Mecanica Records) - “The Final Destruction” 2LP (Mecanica Records)

Filmmaker - “Reinvent” 12” (Soil records)

Fixmer - "Invasion” 12” (Bite)

Fixmer/McCarthy - “Unreleased From the Archives" (Planet Rogue Records)

Foreign Policy - “Watching Existence” 12” (X-IMG)

Fractions - “Nite NRG” (Monnom Black)

Further Reductions - “Array” 12” (Knekelhuis)

Hakai – “No Flesh Shall Be Spared” 12” (Megastructure)

Halv Drom - “Slum Vatic” LP (Fleisch)

Handful of Snowdrops - “Asymetrical” (NanoGénésie®) - “Echoes -The Complete Cover Collection” (NanoGénésie®) - “The Four Winds” (NanoGénésie®) - “The Impossible Dream” (NanoGénésie®) - “Watch Me Bleed / Theme for Great Cities” (Self-released)

Hante. - “Fierce - Remixes & More” LP (Synth Religion)

HKKPTR - “Macht & Ohnmacht” EP (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)

House of Harm - “Vicious Pastimes” LP (Avant!)

Human Performance Lab - “Impact Situation” 12" (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)

Inhalt - “Simulation” 2xLP Remixes (Mechatronica)

Iron Court - “Etched Forseights” (Detriti)

Istigkeit & Angel Karel - “You A’Int No Punk, You Punk” (RND. Records)

IV Horsemen - “Compilation Vol. 1” (Self-released) - “Human Crash” LP (Fleisch)

Karger Traum - “III” LP (DKA Records)

Kenny Campbell - “Blackest Ever Buckfast” (Drone)

King Dude - “Full Virgo Moon” LP (Van)

KLACK - "Two Minute Warning” (Klackprodukt) - “Move Any Mountain” (Self-released) - “Catching Up with Klack” (Razgrom) - “Distancing” (Self-released) - “Move Any Mountain” (Self-released) - “Probably” (Klackprodukt)

Konkurs - “Terminal Stage" (Megastructure, X-IMG)

Kontravoid - “Live from the Void” (Self-released) - “Too Deep Remixes” (Fleisch)

Korine - “The Night We Raise” LP (Data Airlines)

Kris Baha - “Barely Alive” 12” (Emotional Especial) - “Starts to Fall” 12” (Power Station)

Kutkh Jackdaw - “Sweat & Thunder EP and remixes” (Dark Disco)

Lbeeze - “Induced Expressions” (Phormix Tapes)

Liebknecht - “Demos The H4AR 2020" (Self-released) - “Koln : Total Harmonic Noize remix” (Self-released)

Linea Aspera - “LP II” (Self-released)

Looky Looky - “Are You There Beach?” (Self-released)

Machino - “Ciudad Violenta” (X-IMG)

Maedon - “Escape To Berlin" (Sonic Groove)

Marc Ash - “Mirror Glaze Lavish" 12" EP (Fleisch)

Marina Aleksandra - “Animal Industrial Complex” (Randolph & Mort. mix)

Max Durante - “Fear and Desire” 12” (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)

Mind | Matter – “Souvenirs Brises” (Intervision)

Mint Julep - “Stray Fantasies” LP (Western Vinyl)

Minuit Machine - “Don’t Run From the Fire” 12” (Synth Religion)

New Frames - “Outer Limits” 12” (Bite) - “RNF2” 12” (R Label Group) - “Stylized Fear” 12” (Haven)

Nordstaat - “Singularity Second Coming” (X-IMG)

NZ - “More Of Us” 12” ltd. (Infacted Records)

Objekt Clermont - "Zeitgeist” EP (Self-released)

Ofelia Ortodoxa - “Maleficio” (Soil)

Pablo Bozzi - “Last Moscow Mule” (Dischi Autunno) - “Walk on Wire” EP (Bite)

Phase Fatale - “Scanning Backwards” 2xLP (Osgut Ton)

Portion Control - “Head Buried” EP (Portion-Control.Net) - “Seed 1” EP (Portion-Control.Net) - “Seed 2” EP (Portion-Control.Net)

Pudeur - “Magie Noire” (Area Z)

Randolph & Mortimer - “Enjoy More” 7” (Self-released) - “Manifesto for a Modern World” 2xLP (Mecanica) - “They Know We Know They Lie” (Self-released) - “Union of the Faithful” (Self-released)

Reka X Imperial Black Unit - “Todo Avaricia” 12" EP (Fleisch)

Rendered - “Stone Cold Soul” CD (Audiophob)

Replicant - "Regression” (Self-released) - “Annihilation” (Self-released)

Rhys Fulber - “Diaspora” EP (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe) - “Resolve” (FR Recordings)

Riki - “Riki” LP (Dais Records)

Rommek - “Break The Tension” 12” (Leyla Records)

Salem Unsigned - “Blood Origin” (RND.r recorcds)

SARIN - “Moral Cleansing Remixed" (Bite)

Schwefelgelb - “Der Puls Durch Die Schläfen Instrumentals" (n-Plex) - “Der Puls Durch Die Schläfen" (n-Plex) - “Die Stimme Drängt” 12" (Cititrax)

SDH - “Against Strong Thinking" 12" (Avant!)

Size Pier - “Typhoon in Busan” (X-IMG)

Soft Crash - “Spitzkrieg” 12” EP (Bite)

Soj - “Land of Lovers and Hammers” (Infidel Bodies) - “Slow Burn” (Industrial Complexx)

Statiqbloom - “Asphyxia Remixed” (Synthicide)

Sure - “20 Years” LP (Weyrd Sun Records)

T_ERROR 404 - “Holographic Skull” (X-IMG)

Tanz Waffen - “Led Astray” (Self-Released)

Teatre - “Crime Imagery” (Self-released)

Terrorfakt - “Achtung 2020 Remixes” (SquareWav)

The Marquis - “Poison” (Self-released) - “Scab” (Self-released)

Trauma Phase - “Human Caused Disaster Response” (Detriti) - “The Origin of Social Disabilities” (Self-Released)

Unconscious - “Regnum Novum” (X-IMG) -"Slaves of System" LP (Detriti)

Unhuman - “Voices of Distress” 12” (Bite)

Various Artisits - “ASM II “ (Forkha) with: Chrome Corpse, Mind|Matter, The Undertaker’s Tapes, Evil Dust and more

Various Artist - “Meta Moto 4” (Meta Moto) with: Borsis Barksdale, Raw Ambassador, Filmmaker, Teatre and more

Various Artist - “Antikhrist Visions vol. II” LP (Industrias Mekanikas) with: Downwell, Delectro and more

Various Artist - “BOY Records – Timeless Technology 1988 – 1991" 4xLP (Mecanica) Retrospective box of the legendary Boy label releases.

Various Artist - “Crime Violente Vol.4” (Up North Records) With: Calvary Stone, Lbeeze, Meshes and more

Various Artist - “Dystopia in Action” 12” (X-IMG) with: Alpha & Necromante, Kris Baha, Human Performance Lab and more

Various Artist - “Ecdisis Vol 2” (Frigio Records) Snag this for the outstanding edit of Portion Control’s “Chew You to Bits”

Various Artist - “Murder 01” 12” (Murder) with: Codex Empire, Crystal Geometry, JK Flesh and more

Various Artist - “Northern Nightmares Vol.1” (Up North Records) with: Autumns, Cardopusher, Teatre, Hate Magnum Opus and more

Various Artist - “Northern Nightmares Vol. 2” (Up North Records) with: Notausgang, NGHTY, Violet Poison and more

Various Artist - “Sonic Groove: 25 Years 1995-2020" 2xLP (Sonic Groove) with: Orphx, Crustal geometry, Maedon, Rhys Fulber & Portion Control and more

Various Artist - “Uncanny Valleys Vol. 1” (Area Z) with: Chrome Corpse, Sarin x Imperial Black Unit, Celldod, IV Horsemen and more

Various Artist - “Uncanny Valleys Vol. 2” (Area Z) with: Ah Cama-Sotz, 3.14, MDS51 and more

Various Artist - “Valley of Tears vol 1" 12” (Soil) with: Imperial Black Unit, Fractions, Exhausted Modern and more

Various Artist - “Valley of Tears Vol. 2” 12” (Soil) with: SOj, Djedjotronic, Years of Denial and more

Various Artist - “Seven Years of Delirium" (Liber Null) with: Blush Response, NGLY, Zanias, Celldod, Phase Fatale and more

Various Artist – “Detriti Split 1” 12” split vinyl (Detriti) with: Black Sun Dreamer and Trauma Phase

Various Artist – “Detriti Split 2” 12” split vinyl (Detriti) with: Mind | Matter and Iron Court

Visceral Anatomy - “Modern Anguish” EP (Oraculo Records)

Visitor - “Technofossil” (Braid Records)

Wingtips - “Tears Of Pearls" (Self-released)

Youth Code - “Puzzle” (Self-Released)

Zanias - “Extinction” 12” (Fleisch) - “Harmaline” (Self-Released)

Zola Jesus - “Live at Roadburn” (Roadburn Records)

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sodasyrup · 5 years ago

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I love,,,,, domestic lava au... You should do more of it. I'd love to know more about reka and monty too!

BWAAA...

Okay as I said it’s an au with kittie (6kuro) so I’m gonna grab the things it said and I said lmao

warning its a LONG disjointed post bc im too tired to make. a good post fdhghdf

lovelypeaches08/28/2019cole and kai would settle down real late like....in their late thirties because they want to keep their children as safe as possible, being elemental masters and having enemies and all

at first wu wants them to fight longer and shit but hes OLD so who cares and theres probably conflict on thatbut kai and cole are old enough to realized they dont have to be controlled

so they get married, symbolically if anything, because they've been dating for probably a little over a decade now and known each other even longer, AND been living together for the same amount of time

theyre the first of the ninja to settle down, and they buy a small house in a village thats maybe an hour away from ninjago city

the tininess of the house is made up for by the largeness of the yard, where cole likes to garden, especially fruits and vegetables

cole works as a stay at home free lance artist, doing stuff like commissions, book covers, comics, etc for moneykai does something that puts his charisma to use, probably something in business that lets him advertise and talk a lot..he could never settle down for a stay at home job or anything, even with all his thrilling ninja stories

they have enough money from donations and awards to thrive off these jobs, and ninjago probably pays them kind of like retirement

cole cooks for kai so he always has a meal ready when hes home, so then kai cooks on the weekend

anyways, they have two kids, about 3 years aparti haven't figured them much out yet, but kai and cole cook and bake with themcoles parenting style is very protective and rather spoils them, while kai lets them do whatever as long as its not immediately dangerousthey balance each other out well, so their kids grow up loved and well rounded

lovelypeaches08/28/2019coles always buying them sweets and treats and Kai pretends to be annoyed but thinks its really cute

the kids go to a small school on the outskirts of ninjago city, and get asked about their parents a LOT. they kind of like the attention but it gets irritating

moving on to the other ninja who also start to settle down,jay doesnt really want kids, so he passes on his powers with ~science~ or something, but only when hes a lot olderhe does engineering at borg industries or something, and he messes around a lot but gets away with it bc hes the blue ninjahes like kai and coles kids Fun Uncle, since he lives in a big apartment in downtown ninjago city, with a bunch of cool techkai and coles family often take elongated road trips therejay thinks hes a cool relative but besides being super lenient hea actually kind of embarrassing lol

nya settles down a bit later than the rest of them, because she wants to live her ninja days to the fullesti could go on about my domestic samurai au but her and pixal have a kid who gets nyas water powersnya is much more eager to train her kid than cole and Kai are (they want to start properly training thwir children when theyre like 16, much to wus disappointment)nya doesn't force anyrhing on her kid but she doesnt protect her kid from the fact they'll have to train sooner or latershes determined on still changing the world, so she's a strong political leader, with innovative ideas who doesnt approve of ninjagos government and wants to change it for the betterShe also lives in downtown, but isn't as fun as jayher kid is younger than kai and coles, but kai and coles kids look up to them because they're very independent and skilled! their mom is also super cool, but not in a silly way. she rocks leather jackets and drives her kid around on a motorcycle

lovelypeaches08/28/2019zane is tricky for me...i like to imagine him sticking with lloyd to being a ninja or whatever, since hes going to be alive a lonnggg timehe also wants to respect wus wishes, so he teaches students and fights alongside lloydhe does so much less however, and finds a lot of time to visit his friends

kai and coles kids are shy around him at first, him being a nindroid whose still a ninja, but hes so much nicer and softer than expectedhe always brings them presenrs and enjoys quality time with them, so he's basically their favorite uncle

now lloyd continues his master training, to become the next master after wu dies. hed be the one to guide the next generation of elemental masters as well as their parents in training thembut don't worry, he gets a break too, since the other ninja help him out. hes much less burdened then wu was in the later years of his lifeok thats all i think

My commentary now

little boy whos like 3 and super wide eyed and excited and loves pink (when he foudn out zane at one point had a pink gi he asked if he could get one too)older girl around 6 whos a big daddys girl and loves to garden with cole and make mud piez

the little girl is the fire em - she had temper issues linked to autismz which they worked through her with early and never thought of it but she has a big passion for gardening they mistook for elemental connection when rly she just LUVS IT

little boy is em of earth - hes a natural born leader and stubborn, wide eyed and excitable. again bc they worked w both their kids about their tempers and such they never realized he was just naturally good at keeping his composure. also a lot like jay keeping morals upnaturally strong but both their kids are and i hc the super strength doesnt come in until peubertyz

shes a bit of a late bloomer with em powers but one day their little boy accidentally makes a pot hole inside the kitchen bc he was excited over zane cookingthey took too good of care of their kids and his true potential was simple bc he was a litol kid which was im going to live my best fcuking life with friends and family *rips a hole in the ground

kai and cole are the gross sappy parents that trade kisses n their kids are like thats DISGUSTING youre DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE

Kittie pointslovelypeaches08/28/2019YEAYEYAYAYYEYAYAYEoh god the little boy is part scenecorelikenot full on scene but like punk y2kwhich is a part of scenealso at first cole and kai are super concerned being a ninja will be as mentally damaging and ack as it was for them at times, but lloyd and zane are genuinely good mastersbutnot to get sadbutwhen tragedy does happen somehow, since neither Lloyd nor zane can ease that, cole and kai are so good at helping their kids e thatthey help them recover from it without downplaying their kids concerns and feelings amd give good advice and loveand make being elemental masters a lot easier for their kids than it ever was for them

me again.....

they always get so fucking scared thokai custom makes weapons for themarmor too he spends hours upon hours making sure its perfect and even prays over them to keep their kids safe

anyway when kai n cole visit w them (idk if theyr just adopted at their current age or like.... adopted as babies or surrogate or?? idk but) they visit lloyd and kai softly says "Look! its uncle lloyd" and lloyd starts SOBBING hes just fucking bawlinghis eyes out and when kai offers to for lloyd to hold him lloyds just like are you suure arre eyyuuu thherye so smsmm all kaiii are yoruur suureee thheyrey babbeises

nya is hesitant but ends up being a really good aunt, i meanshe took care of kai /j

zane is a fav uncle and hes always making sweets for them jay is. also sorta a fav bc where zane comes jay follows and jay has a sweet tooth and also makes Cool Toys + hey wanna prank your dadsalso im dramatic and likekai and cole sitting down and having a convo about master wubc he was sorta a shitty mentor and they really REALLY dont want their kids going through any self confident issues nor over stressing bc theyr KDISeventually kai and cole talk to master wu and actually has wu face his terrible practice towards kids and wu accepting he was.............................a bad 'parent' in a senseblebleblelelelelelellekai works but cole absolutely watches over any training when wu is there at first but lloyd is the master now and lloyd is like..........................i dont want kids to go through what i went through kai is like i trust you but also i will murder every single one of you in this dojo if you ever hurt my little girlim doing what i do and taking an au and running im sorry ghdghdfhJACK RAMBLES....their son refuses to wear shoes he lieks dirt on his feet they never really think much of it but its actually really comforting for him to feel the earth under his feet and feel stablethey think its just a stim thing maybe? theyr unsurebut! turns out him Element(also a fear of heights)lloyd tries to be a serious master but hes a big ol goof and can easily be manipulated

ironically.......its the lil boy who often is like HEY!!!!!!!!!!! WE GOTTA TRAIN!

kai and cole agree not to tell anyone what theyre thinking of naming their little boy until he arrives so when the day comes kais holding this tiny little boy and holds him out gentlyand lloyd is already EMOTIONAL because this is a BABY and lloyd softly asks his name n cole cuts in like "hes named after a really brave dude, montgomery. but we're thinking monty as a nickname"lloyd, choking up:(hc garmadons first name is montgomery)

the girl is Reka which means sweet in maori (a personal headcanon for cole) and shes their sweetheart

lovelypeaches09/04/2019bhrnrng this is in domestic au but col and kai teachign their kids instrumentscole and reka wud play piano duets togetherand monty doesnt like instruments much but he likes to singlike a LOT he belts out a song for everythinghe just lieks his own voice

burdletutt09/04/2019HNGGG HFHMONTY LOVS BEING LOUD

lovelypeaches09/04/2019YEAAAHhes like the type who makes a song for everythingmonty voice we rr goinggg to the parkkkkk and the grass isss.........GREEENNNNNNN and there are LOOK THERE ARE SQUIRRRELSSSS and a playground and the skyyyyy isssssssssssss...*deep inhale* BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE1E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kai and cole: you are literally so talented

jay tries really hard to be the Cool Uncle at firstbut Monty just :^TReka gives him an awkward chucklewhen jay stops being Cool ™ hes goofy and thats when they start giggling and liking him more

#sodask #Anonymous #dads au

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itzchrissydoesstuff · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 2 of ‘A Smooth Breadwinner’

Hey, Bread Heads and Moonwalkers! Chapter 2 is finally here! For those who haven’t read chapter 1, it’s in my last post on my blog. With that outta the way, enjoy!

Summary: This takes place after the events of the episode ‘Pondgea’s Got Talent’. SwaySway and Buhdeuce are on their way home after the talent show at the Pumpers’ diner. SwaySway is still heartbroken after Jenny Quackles rejected him because she was already spoken for. Later on, as the duo is on their way home, SwaySway suddenly has this familiar feeling while remembering his love song for Jenny. What could it possibly be?

Chapter 2: “Lost Time”

*9:25 P.M.*

*SwaySway’s POV*

Later that night, Buhdeuce and I got back to the Swamp Pad and crash landed into the hangar. As we got out of the Rocket Van, I still couldn’t shake the thought of what hit me. What Buhdeuce said…

“I really enjoyed that love song you made for Jenny, that was really smooth.” His words echoed in my head.

Smooth…? Smooth… yo-reka! That’s it! I know what to do!

“You good, Bap? You look kinda better already.” Buhdeuce said as he gave a little grin.

“Yep! I guess I am.” I answered. “Come on, let’s head on up to the house!”

“Yep yep!”

We went up to the top of the Swamp Pad to settle back home and were greeted with tons of licking on our faces by our pet frog, Jelly.

“Hahahaha! Jelly!” Buhdeuce giggled. “That tickles!”

After our quick reunion with Jelly, we decided to relax a bit before heading to bed. A couple minutes later, Buhdeuce stood up off the couch.

“I’m gonna go use the bathroom for a little bit.” He said as he walked to the bathroom.

“Okay, sounds good.” I replied.

Once Buhdeuce shut the bathroom door, I immediately stood up from the couch. I whipped out my phone, put in my earbuds, and opened the music app.

“Okay, let’s see…” I said as I pressed the search icon on the top right of the screen.

Without hesitation, I typed in a specific name.

‘Michael Jackson’

I hit the search button and it began to load. And my goodness, were there a lot of results! Many songs and albums began to pop up on my screen. It was quite a surprise really, since I couldn’t really remember the last time I had listened to Michael’s music.

“What should I listen to first?” I asked myself in curiosity. “How about… this one!”

A specific song caught my attention. I selected the song titled ‘Smooth Criminal’, which had immediately reminded me of what Buhdeuce said when he said my love song was really ‘Smooth’

As soon as the first loud note of the song played, I all of a sudden began having these sudden memories flooding back to me. I saw myself as a young duckling, singing and dancing to Michael Jackson’s music. I could even remember teaching myself how to moonwalk, I COULD MOONWALK WHEN I WAS LITTLE! But then, I had a flashback to when I first became a Breadwinner, when I decided to just put my days of listening to Michael to rest.

After that rush of nostalgia, I was suddenly pulled back to reality to notice my legs- no… not just my legs, my entire body moving to the beat of the beginning instrumentals. It was like… there was some sort of force in the song that was pulling me in. No matter how much I thought of stopping, I didn’t! I didn’t want to stop, it felt amazing! The next moment, the lyrics popped up on my phone screen. And then… I started to sing along.

(I was gonna type the lyrics of ‘Smooth Criminal’ here, but I got lazy. So uh… let’s just skip ahead, sorry! -Chrissy)

*4 minutes later…*

The song had finally ended and I then stood there, catching my breath after all of that dancing. That was… incredible!! And the fact that I still remembered the words was amazing! But wait- I’m just now realizing this but… what if Buhdeuce heard everything while he was still in the bathroom? I started to worry a bit, but at the same time, I didn’t care what anyone thought.

So without hesitation, I looked back at my phone for a different song to listen to. And that’s when I came across ‘Billie Jean’, which had caught my attention. I selected it, and as the song started to play, my body also started to move with the music.

*2 minutes later…*

I’m two minutes into the song and I can’t stop dancing! This feels so great! And then, I got the idea to try and moonwalk. I immediately tried to remember the steps.

‘Let’s see…’ I thought. ‘You just put one foot up, and then slide the other, and then repeat. Sounds simple… I hope’

It was just the instrumentals playing now. And without hesitating, I started to slide my feet backwards, moonwalking for the first time in forever.

‘Woah! I’m actually doing!’ I continued to think. ‘I’m actually moonwalking! This. Is. AWESOME!!’

“Heehee!” I was so into the music, I even started making sounds like Michael Jackson! “Aoww!”

*2 more minutes later…*

I was finally finished with the song, and oh. My. Gosh! It was SO GOOD! Though, I’m surprised Buhdeuce didn’t say anything the whole time. I have no idea why I decided to leave all of this behind when I became a Breadwinner. But at the same time, I think it was worth the wait up to this moment, finally making up for lost time!

“I think that’s enough for tonight.” I said to myself, putting my earbuds away and turning off my phone. I suddenly heard the bathroom door. Sounds like Buhdeuce finished using the bathroom.

“Hey, Bap!” Buhdeuce greeted me with a grin on his face.

“Hey! Ready to head to bed?” I asked, ready to turn in for the night after all of that singing and dancing.

After getting ready for bed, we went upstairs and got comfortable in our beds. And… I’m just now realizing this but.. just when I thought I would stay heartbroken after Jenny rejected me, as soon as I started listening to Michael Jackson, I instantly felt so much better and just moved on with it. In fact, I have an idea! But first, I should really get some sleep.

“Good night, Sway.” Buhdeuce said as he yawned and fell asleep.

“Good night, Deucer.” I told him, slowly closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

And thus, that concludes chapter 2! I hope you enjoyed the second chapter. Also, the thing is… when I first wrote this fanfic, I was writing this as a joke but eventually fell in love with it. Anyways, again, I hope you enjoyed this and chapter 3 (final chapter) will be out tomorrow! Until next time, Bread Heads and Moonwalkers, peace! ✌🏼

#breadwinners #michael jackson #swaysway #buhdeuce #swaysway jackson #breadwinners fanfiction #chrissysaysstuff #fanfiction

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socialattractionuk · 3 years ago

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Is it ever okay to shout at your partner, and how should you deal with anger in relationships?

Last night, Love Island’s Faye became heated (Picture: Getty)

Last night’s Love Island made for some uncomfortable viewing.

We watched as Faye Winter laid into Teddy Soares for not disclosing his Casa Amor behaviour to her, as the villa residents stood on in shock at the explosive argument.

The islanders had been played footage of the second villa, with videos showing Teddy saying he was ‘sexually attracted’ to newbie Clarisse and telling her he was ‘technically single’, something Faye was not privy to.

The situation that followed has left many viewers conflicted, as Faye began to show confrontational behaviour, raising her voice and shouting at Teddy to get her point across.

At one point, the reality TV star said, after giving Teddy the middle finger: ‘I’ve got a problem with you! I don’t want to speak to you right now, because I don’t want to scream. You look like a two-faced p***k!’

It was clear that her anger was bubbling over, and although she tried to extricate herself initially, it did then become a fairly one-sided shouting match.

But is it ever okay to act angrily and shout at your partner in an argument?

The answer is complicated. No, it’s never a good idea to shout at anyone, but it’s also not necessarily a bright red flag (if the shouter is willing to address it and it’s not a regular occurrence).

According to Senior Therapist Sally Baker, it’s a natural trauma response, and needs to be considered on a case-by-case basis. She also says that there may be gender issues at play in the backlash to Faye’s outburst.

She Metro.co.uk: ‘Teddy kept telling her that she was screaming when she was actually shouting. And I think it’s okay – for women especially – to be angry.

‘We’ve been denied the option of being angry for a long time. We’re supposed to be sweetness and light.

‘Women are allowed to be angry, just like men are allowed to be angry.

‘It’s ugly it’s uncomfortable, it was probably unfair, but she was clearly distressed. I don’t know how else someone is supposed to manifest distress.’

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Love Island contestants are in the unique – and unfortunate – situation of being effectively stuck in their social bubble, with an audience (and a production team) watching their every move.

But, while we may argue that the confrontation should have sparked Faye being removed (even briefly) from the villa to cool down, her and Teddy’s argument can teach us about our own anger issues and what we can do when we can’t escape distressing situations.

‘Faye has often talked about how she’s been derided and let down and betrayed in the past,’ says Sally.

‘So everything that happened last night was a trauma response, and it was not commensurate. It wasn’t measured to what’s happened – it’s much bigger.’

Sally says that people prone to anger issues and outbursts should seek therapy to work out the underlying issues causing them to lash out when things aren’t as expected. Help is the first step to healthier relationships.

She adds that when she works with patients for anger problems she starts by reminding them that it starts with ‘a’ because it’s the very first emotion, used to cover yourself and guard from showing any residual pain and fear.

‘Like anything that shows up in your life,’ says Sally. ‘It’s a gift.’

‘It might feel like s***, but it’s a gift because it shows that there’s unresolved work to be done. And you should clear it, especially if you’re running patterns on relationships.

‘You are running an old script, and you need to go back to the source or earlier sources of that pain.’

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For those who’ve borne the brunt of a fit of anger in a relationship, firstly assess whether it’s a regular thing or a one-off response. Either of these needs to be dealt with, but they should be dealt with differently.

Is this a pattern, where shouting and yelling is used in place of regular discussion? Is it a default for your partner when they’re unhappy? Do you bear the brunt of their anger, regardless of the cause of it? Does shouting come alongside other abusive or aggressive behaviour?

If that’s the case for you, it could be a sign that you’re experiencing abuse of some kind. Speak to Refuge or the Men’s Advice Line, who can help you to recognise abuse and offer you support going forward.

If what your partner exhibits is a raised voice without threats or violence – and when it’s not part of a pattern of abusive behaviour – as long as they’re ready and willing to change, things might have a chance.

We’ve all been guilty of shouting when feeling impassioned. It becomes something more worrying when anger is an ongoing part of your relationship, and you feel it’s being used to control or intimidate you.

Sally recommends speaking to your partner when any conflict has subsided, specifically going for a walk, as the lack of eye contact can make people feel more comfortable to share their emotions.

Let them know that the way they process an argument can be triggering or frightening for you, and that you know there may be disagreements, but you’d like to ensure they’re dealt with in the most mature way possible.

From there, you can work to foster a healthier approach to conflict. As long as your partner is receptive to this, it could create a much better dynamic.

Sally says: ‘Anger mutes and shuts up everybody else. It steals all the oxygen in the room, scares everybody, and they get their own way.

‘Yet, ultimately, no one can live with that, and it comes back to bite them.

‘But you’re not stuck. It can be sorted. You can come up with much more constructive ways of responding than a scary, angry response.’

Who to call if you need help

For emotional support you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, run by Refuge and Women’s Aid, on 0808 2000 247.

If you are in an LGBT relationship you can also call the helpline run by Broken Rainbow and Galop UK, on 0300 999 5428 or 0800 9995428.

Male victims can call also the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.

Do you have a story you’d like to share?

Get in touch at [email protected].

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xflower-childx · 4 years ago

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What is love?

I've discovered that everything with the family has been bothering me a lot more than a thought it would, I mean it's no surprise, my family is kinda falling apart at the moment. I'm used to someone fighting with someone else over this or that within the 5 of us, and yeah I know mom and dad fought a lot but now coming to find and accept that they lost love for each other so long ago just breaks my heart. I always knew that they weren't the happiest all the time, I even remember noticing it as a child and wondering if they were okay and not just when mom left a few times. God I remember being so scared she wouldn't come back. There were a few times I had thought about if she didn't and I imagined my dad turning into super dad and I felt bad because I would have been grateful it was dad and not mom that would take care of us. Of course I know that never would have happened, but I was just a kid who would listen to her parents fighting often and her mom constantly tearing her dad down. I learned quickly I didn't want to be mean like that, how I dealt with that constantly at school and to see it done to my dad made me so sad. I always said I never wanted to be like my mom because of that, and I hated saying that because shes my mom, she just seemed so mean though.

I just assumed that maybe that's just what love becomes after so many years. I didn't have any other love to look to though, no grandparents who had spouses around aside from moms parents who I found out in high school was a horribly abusive situation that I don't know all the details of, I know that the abuse wasn't just on my grandma though. Maybe that's why mom is always so controlling, maybe she saw the weakness of my grandma and how weak she was she didn't want to be the weak one in her relationship. Maybe she wanted to have the control. Control that made her mean.

I looked to books and TV to learn about love. I always said 'I love love' whenever some cute sappy couple had a cute sappy moment. To this day I still gush over the cute couples on the street (The sweet little old ones get me everytime) and the silly sappy movie moments. Also Queer eye has gotten me overly emotional 🤦‍♀️ it's so good though.

The point is that this has had me questioning a lot of things within my childhood. Noticing the way relationships worked around me, I was always scared to be in them really. R being the only one I put effort into and finding my first experience of love and how it wasn't healthy and how one sided it felt to me. Of course there is so much behind all of that but that's all been unpackaged and pondered on and learned from to the best of my abilities right now. I will say that it's been hard to move past that one sided feeling, that I had to put my sword down to be able to. Trust issues got bigger and I know that is why it's made me so damn picky and stubborn with relationships. It doesn't make me worried about finding love as I guess to me love is when you help work through those issues with your partner. You love them and you want them to be happy and healthy. I believe that whomever I end up with will be patient and understanding with a few walls and earning of trust just as I would be patient with whatever demons they have to work through. Isn't that love? Isn't love when you cant get someone out of your head, when you see them at their worst physically and mentally and you still find them to be the best person in the world, when you see them go from one person to another a few years down the road and love that person just as much and maybe even more then continue to love who they continue to grow into, it's when you spend the day with them and you miss them seconds after they leave. I believe love is so much more than all that and I believe I will continue to learn more of what it is. I find myself second guessing myself with all that though from what I grew up seeing. I find myself questioning if love could even be as beautiful as little me imagined it could be from watching all the tween romcoms. I could only hope it is, I could only hope it's so much more healthy and filling than what I saw.

...

I had to stop writing when Char called asking me to come get her from work saying she felt like she was about to have a seizure. She hadn't been feeling well earlier but I had thought it was just anxiety after the fight with her own family. Thankfully she didn't have one and she sees a doctor tomorrow but after KB passed from her seizure I definitely felt such fear on my way to her. She's okay and home safe with her boyfriend and hopefully her doctor's visit goes well.

Speaking of doctors while I haven't heard from Meeks on her Covid results yet, my sister informed me that Reka has to get tested because his boss has been ill. Breezy hasn't informed my mom of all this yet which mildly frustrates me as currently my entire family is living in one house. If one person gets it, my whole family could, and that has been lingering in my head all damn day.

It hurts to see us breaking like this, to hear the pettyness and the lack of care. To think of my family separating in more ways than one. I hope we can heal over time and can come back together and become a strong unit again if we break. I hope my parents can start to open their eyes a bit more and that Breezy can gain a little more patience back with them.

As my sisters and I continue to look back on our lives and as we work through this hard patch in our family now I hope we can recognize the issues that arose so we can break the cycle. I know we can do that, I see the difference in the way my nieces and nephew are raised and I'm so proud of them for all the amazing work they have done. I'm so proud of how my sister's have grown, especially D, it took her a while but she had matured so much and she is a wonderful mother.

It may take a while but our family will get strong again. It may be different but it doesn't mean it's over, ending or bad. It just means it's changed and evolved. We changed so it only makes sense.for the family dynamic to change as well.

#what is love?#my writing #wsnc #nc #june 2020

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suju-bangtan · 7 years ago

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I got an ask to make a list of kpop songs I'd suggest to my followers, so here it is! I just went through my iTunes library which led me to find out its highly outdated for some groups which I plan to fix soon. Its...a pretty long list of songs. I didn't include some groups (EXO, BTS, Suju, Seventeen, 2ne1, SNSD, etc) because I'd figure they'd be know to most people and the list would be even longer than it is now. And I more than likely forgot to add in some groups because they aren't in my library yet; I can add them in later if you want.

And feel free to add to this list! I'm always looking for new groups to love!!

As:

A.C.E – Cactus

A6P – Face Off

Ailee- U&I, I’ll Show You, Home, Don’t Touch Me

AKMU – Dinosaur

AOA – Can’t Sleep, Help Me, Bing Bing, Excuse Me, Good Luck, Heart Attack, Like A Cat

Bs:

B.A.P – Feels So Good, 1004(angel), Ribbon in the Sky, Distopia, Warrior, One Shot, Skydive, Wake Me Up, Badman

BEAST/HIGHLIGHT – Beautiful Night, Shock, Can you feel it?, Plz don’t be sad, Good Luck, YeY

Block B – Nalina, Very Good, Jack Pot, Her, Toy, Nillili Mambo

BoA - Camo

Boyfriend - Witch

Boy’s Republic – Get Down

Brave Girls - Rollin’

BTOB – WoW, Thriller, Movie, Second Confession, Monday to Sunday, Insane

BULLDOK – Why Not

Cs:

Cheon Dung(Thunder) – Sign

Chungha – Why don’t you know

CLC – Meow Meow, Liar, Mistake, Where are you?

CNBLUE – Cant Stop, Sorry

Ds:

DAY6 – I’m Serious, What Can I Do, I Wait, Dance Dance, I Smile, and honestly all of their are so good

DEAN – Bonnie & Clyde, 21, Pour Up, Love (ft Syd)

D&E(Suju) – Growing Pains, Beat Goes On, Still You, 1+1=LOVE, Can you feel it?, all their songs are amazing but majority are in japanese

DREAMCATCHER – Chase Me, Good Night, Fly High, Wake Up, Sleep-Walking

Es:

EXID – Night Rather Than Day, How Why, L.I.E, Ah Yeah

Fs:

F(X) – All Mine, 4 Walls, Electric Shock, Red Light, Nu Abo, Rainbow

FTISLAND – Pray, Take Me Now

Gs:

GFRIEND – Love Whisper, Fingertip, Rough, Navillera

Girls’ Day – I’ll Be Yours, Darling, Love Again, Expect, Female President

Glime x Outsider – Love is War

Grace – Trick or Treat, I’m Fine, Zombie High

Hs:

HELLO VENUS – I’m Ill, Mysterious

History – Queen

Hyolyn – Paradise, Blue Moon (ft Changmo)

Hyuna – Roll Deep, How’s This, Change

Is:

iKON – Dumb and Dumber, Bling Bling, B Day

Infinite – Bad, The eye

Js:

Jessica – Fly, Wonderland, Summer Storm

Jinusean – Tell me one more time

Ks:

KARD – OH Na Na, Recall, Rumor, Hola Hola

KARA – Step, Mamma Mia, Cupid

KNK – Rain, Sun Moon Star, Knock

Ls:

The Legend – Shadow, Crush on You

Luna – Free Somebody, galaxy

Ms:

M.A.P6 – I’m Ready

Madtown – YOLO

MBLAQ – Y, This is War, Smokey Girl, Mona Lisa, Run, Stay

Minzy – Ninano

Monsta X – Hero, All in, fighter, Beautiful, Shine Forever, Newton, Tresspass, Calm Down, Oi, Ready or Not

MYTEEN – Amazing, You-Reka

Ns:

NCT – Running 2 U, 7th sense, firetruck, limitless, 0 mile, we young, chewing gum, whiplash, summer 127

Nine Muses(9muses) – Love City, Remember, Pastry, Hurt Locker

N.Flying – The Real

N-Sonic – Excalibur

Nu’est – Face, Sleep Walking, Love Paint, Action

Os:

ONF – On/Off, Difficult, Cat’s Waltz

Ps:

Pentagon – Gorilla, Can You feel it?, Critical Beauty

Pristin - We Like

Rs:

The Rose – Sorry

Ss:

Samuel – Sixteen

SF9 – ROAR, Fanfare, Easy Love

SHINHWA – Perfect Man, This Love, Touch, Venus

SNUPER – Back:Hug

SONAMOO – Cushion, Friday Night

Stellar – Archangels of the Sephiroth, The Wave, Why Me

Ts:

T-ara – What’s My Name, sugar free, roly poly, lovey dovey, bo peep bo peep

Teen Top – Love is, rocking, miss right, supa love, no more perfume on you, I wanna love, Im going crazy

Ten – Dream in a Dream

Topp Dogg – Arario, Fever, Open the door, Follow me, Playground

Two X - Over

Us:

U-KISS – Shut up!, Man Man Ha Ni, Doradora, Neverland, Tick Toc

Up10tion – Runner

Vs:

Vermuda – Dream Girl

Ws:

WINNER – Really Really, Love Me Love Me, Island

Zs:

ZICO – Eureka, Boys and Girls, Bermuda Triangle

Zion.T – Yanghwa Brgd, The Song

#s:

24k – Bingo, Still 24k, Super Fly, Only You

2PM – Go Crazy, My House, Heartbeat, Again and Again, Hands Up

#idk how to even tag this #kpop #kpop songs #kpop groups #????#lol im at a lost on what to tag #rip #might redo the tags later if I can think of something

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serbooking-blog · 6 years ago

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VRNJACKA BANJA TOP 5 HOTELS FOR SEPTEMBER

Today`s Vrnjacka Banja Hotels by Serbooking.com traveler's choice.Vrnjacka Banja is one of the most visited spas in Serbia. Find what to do today, this weekend, or in September. We have reviews of the best places to stay and see in Vrnjacka Banja.

1.Medical and Spa Resort Merkur

ACCOMMODATION, HOLIDAY, MEDICAL TREATMENT

Merkur is located in the center of Vrnjacka Banja, guests can check their health here, and it includes the largest spa center in the Balkans.

Set along the Vrnjacka River, this laid-back hotel is a 3-minute walk from Bridge of Love, a 10-minute walk from the Zamak Culture Museum and 3 km from the E-761 route.

The casual rooms offer free Wi-Fi, flat-screen TVs and minifridges, as well as terraces.

Parking is free. Other amenities include a restaurant and a gym. A spa and wellness center features a Finnish sauna, a hot tub and an indoor pool with thermal-mineral water. A clinic offers a range of medical services.The packages are designed for guests coming for medical treatment, preventive check-ups, beauty and relax.

Book Hotel Merkur - Vrnjacka Banja online at Serbooking and get the lowest rate.

2. Solaris Resort

Solaris Resorts is a modern hotel in the tourist offer of Vrnjacka Banja, which has 4 stars. It is located in a quiet part of the Vrnjacka banja.

A 10-minute walk from Vrnjacka Banja bus station, this relaxed resort in a residential area is 15 minutes on foot from the romantic Bridge of Love and 14 km from the Ljubostinja monastery.

Casual rooms feature free Wi-Fi, flat-screen TVs, minibars and balconies. Suites add separate living rooms and kitchenettes. Kids age 6 and under stay at no charge with parents.

Parking is complimentary, as is breakfast served in a restaurant that offers international cuisine. There's also a lobby bar and a terrace. Other amenities include indoor and outdoor pools, plus a gym, and a spa featuring a salt cave.

Book Solaris Resort on Serbooking and get the best online rates!

3.Hotel Slatina

Hotel Slatina has a spa & wellness centre, terrace and bar in Vrnjacka Banja.

Hotel Slatina has a spa & wellness centre, terrace and bar in Vrnjacka Banja. This 4-star hotel offers free shuttle service. The hotel features an indoor pool and free WiFi.The rooms in the hotel are equipped with a flat-screen TV with satellite channels. Rooms are complete with a private bathroom fitted with a shower, while certain units at Hotel Slatina also have a balcony. All guest rooms at the accommodation include air conditioning and a desk.Hotel Slatina offers a continental or buffet breakfast. Guests can enjoy a meal at the in-house restaurant, which serves a variety of local, Greek and Grill/bbq dishes.The hotel offers a range of wellness facilities including a hot tub and a sauna.Staff at the reception can provide advice on what to do in the area.Kopaonik is 77 km from Hotel Slatina, while Vrnjačka Banja is 2.7 km away. The nearest airport is Constantine the Great Airport, 130 km from the accommodation. This property also has one of the best-rated locations in Vrnjačka Banja! Guests are happier about it compared to other properties in the area.Couples particularly like the location — they rated it 9.7 for a two-person trip.This property is also rated for the best value in Vrnjacka Banja! Guests are getting more for their money when compared to other properties in this city.

Book Hotel Slatina Now and get the lowest online rates!

4. Apartments Banja & Luxury Rooms

Apartments Banja & Luxury Rooms is set 400 m from the city centre. A mountain river, Vrnjacka Reka is only 40 m away and a Wellness and spa centre can be found within a 5-minute walk. Free WiFi is available and free on-site parking is provided.

All units come with a flat-screen cable TV and air conditioning. Some units include a fully equipped kitchenette with a dining area. Private bathrooms come with a bath or a shower. Free toiletries and a hairdryer are provided.The Lobby bar serves drinks throughout the day. Guests can relax on the spacious terrace.

Apartments Banja & Luxury Rooms offers organised tours and sightseeing of medieval Serbian monasteries. UNESCO- protected Studenica Monastery can be reached within 90 km.

Book Online Apartments and Luxury Rooms in Vrnjacka Banja and get the lowest rate!

5.Hotel Lider S

Featuring a restaurant, Hotel Lider S is located in Vrnjacka Banja. Free WiFi access is available throughout. The property is 15 km from the Monastery of Ljubostinja.

Each room here will provide you with a TV, air conditioning and a balcony. Featuring a shower, the private bathrooms also come with a hairdryer and free toiletries. You can enjoy garden views from the rooms. Extras include a minibar and a seating area.At Hotel Lider S you will find a 24-hour front desk, a garden and a terrace. Other facilities offered at the property include a tour desk and luggage storage.The property offers free parking. This is our guests' favourite part of Vrnjačka Banja, according to independent reviews.Couples particularly like the location — they rated it 8.5 for a two-person trip.

Book room in Hotel Lider S today and get the best online rate!

Monthly list of the top accommodations in Vrnjacka Banja is based on the real visitors impressions and reviews. Please note that this can be changed during the September accoarding to guest reviews changes.

#vrnjackabanja #serbia #hotelsinserbia #booking serbia #visit serbia

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gencottraux · 7 years ago

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“The American woman is told she can do anything and then is knocked down the moment she proves it.”

I wrote this down in one of my notebooks. I circled it, underlined it, highlighted it. But I didn’t note where I heard or read it. When I Googled the quote, I was lead to an essay by former supermodel Paulina Porizkova, “America Made Me a Feminist“.

Paulina Porizkova

“In America, a woman’s body seemed to belong to everybody but herself. Her sexuality belonged to her husband, her opinion of herself belonged to her social circles, and her uterus belonged to the government. She was supposed to be a mother and a lover and a career woman (at a fraction of the pay) while remaining perpetually youthful and slim. In America, important men were desirable. Important women had to be desirable. That got to me.”

This obviously struck a chord with me. My worlds had collided, or coincidence had taken me on a journey. My fascination with Thomas Wolfe led me down a rabbit hole to the writing of contemporary Southern literary icon Lee Smith to the tragic figure of Zelda Fitzgerald, Nancy Drew, and unpredictably, Paulina Porizkova.

The degrees of separation are few. Thomas Wolfe was from Asheville, North Carolina, which he famously wrote about in Look Homeward, Angel, much to the anger and dismay of the city’s residents. Zelda Fitzgerald spent many years, and ultimately died in, Highland Hospital, a mental hospital (or “hospital for nervous diseases”) in Asheville. Lee Smith wrote a novel about Highland Hospital, Guests on Earth, and the fire there that killed 9 women, including Zelda.

Nine women died in the hospital fire on March 10, 1948. According to the official medical report, Zelda was unable to escape the fire as she had been sedated and placed in a locked room prior to a scheduled electro-shock therapy treatment. The women who died were all trapped on the top floor of the central building

The fire started in the kitchen wing, but there is still mystery around how it started and who might have started it. Speculation includes a former patient who was later hired to work in the hospital and held grudges against some of the other women, doubling their medications and locking them in before starting the fire in the kitchen. The windows were barred, the fire escape made of wood that quickly burned.

But was Zelda really “crazy”? She is commonly said to have been schizophrenic, but more recent studies suggest she was more likely bipolar, with periods of depression and periods of high energy and creativity. She was herself a writer (some believe F. Scott plagiarized from her writings), an artist, and a dancer; a free spirit in a time and place where that was heavily frowned upon. She was raised to be a Southern Belle, to marry well, to be a pretty and charming hostess, but not to be smart, creative, or independent. After the fire, she was indentified as among the dead from her charred ballet slipper.

Lee Smith, through narrator Evalina Toussaint, wrote of Zelda in Guests on Earth:

She didn’t fit in, that’s all. They didn’t know what to do with her…None of them knew what to do with her. She was too smart, too original…She didn’t fit in.

Smart women who didn’t fit in. Locked up. Princesses in a tower. While Zelda was in Highland Hospital, F. Scott would visit, staying at the luxurious Grove Park Inn, supposedly resting and relaxing and taking the “beer cure” to wean himself off of gin.

Grove Park Inn

Highland Hospital doesn’t sound all that horrible when one looks back at the history of

the treatment of mental illness. Founder Dr. Robert Carroll created a program based on

exercise, diet, and occupational therapy rather than straitjackets and shackles. But there

were also questionable electroconvulsive treatments and insulin coma therapy, with risks of brain damage and death.

Electroconvulsion therapy.

At Highland, Zelda was able to dance, to paint, to write.

The character Evalina, a talented pianist and a fellow patient, enters the hospital at age 13 in the aftermath of her mother’s suicide. She loves to read. One of the nurses brings her Nancy Drew books.

Nancy Drew. I love Nancy Drew.

I read all of the Nancy Drew books I could get my hands on the late 1960s and early 1970s. One of the best compliments a coworker ever gave me was to call me Nancy Drew.

The first Nancy Drew mysteries were published in 1930: The Secret of the Old Clock, The Hidden Staircase, The Bungalow Mystery, and The Mystery at Lilac Inn all in the same year. Nancy Drew books are still being written and published, the most recent title, Riverboat Roulette, was released in early 2017. Two titles, The Professor and the Puzzle and The Haunting on Heliotrope Lane, are planned for late 2017 and early 2018.

Why do we love Nancy Drew? She’s smart, fiesty, curious. Blogger Kerry Winfrey lists the reasons Nancy Drew is such a good role model:

She’s not afraid of anything.

She’s well-rounded.

She has great fashion sense.

She’s a feminist.

She has staying power.

The books purported author, Carolyn Keene, didn’t and doesn’t exist. The actual writers have come and gone, but Carolyn Keene lives on. Nancy Drew was created by Edward Stratemeyer, a publisher of children’s books. He hired ghost writers to churn out the books, as well as other series like The Hardy Boys, according to a set and successful formula.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that Lee Smith brings Nancy Drew books into a story of princesses locked in a tower. Just as Paulina Porizkova wrote recently, women are told we can do anything. Nancy did it all, while dressed to the nines. She had her roadster, her friends, her college-aged boyfriend (who doesn’t show up that much), a father who encouraged her. She was smart and pretty and everything I wanted to be as a girl. But in the case of Zelda Fitzgerald, she was locked away for wanting to be more than a good wife and mother. She had serious artistic aspirations of her own, but lived in her famous husband’s shadow.

“Excuse me for being so intellectual. I know you would prefer something nice and feminine and affectionate.” [Zelda, in a letter to F. Scott.]

Many women in institutions at that time were women who didn’t fit in, who didn’t want to stay in their proscribed boxes, who were uninhibited, creative, and deemed hysterical. The word hysterical itself is significant. It comes from the Latin hystericus–of the womb–and was considered to be a female ailment, brought on by dysfunction of the uterus. Gary Nunn writes of the “feminization of madness”. Take the word loony, from lunacy, and the connection to the moon (lunar). Thus, lunacy becomes a monthly periodic insanity brought on by the moon’s cycle. As Nunn describes it:

“These etymologies have cemented a polarisation of the female and male mental states: men being historically associated with rationality, straightforwardness and logic; women with unpredictable emotions, outbursts and madness.”

In an interview, Lee Smith said,

“A fairly sizable number of women who were at Highland Hospital had really been sent there by their husbands or their families because they were just a little too wild or creative, because they didn’t fit into the norm that society—particularly Deep South society—expected of them.”

Zelda published a novel, Save Me the Waltz, in 1932. It was written while she was a patient at the Phipps Clinic at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. She was there after “an episode of hysteria”, and spent 2 hours a day writing as a part of her recovery. The novel was autobiographical and apparently angered F. Scott, who forced extensive revisions before it was sent to the publihser. He then used much of the same autobiographical material in his own book, Tender is the Night, published in 1934.

F. Scott himself was clearly mentally unstable, yet he, the tortured novelist, stayed at the Grove Park Inn while his wife Zelda was confined to Highland Hospital. Ring Lardner Jr. referred to the couple: “Scott is a novelist and Zelda is a novelty.” During their courtship, Zelda routinely evoked jealousy from F. Scott with her flirting and “outrageous” ways. Before their marriage, he was quoted as saying something along the lines of “I used to wonder why they locked princesses in towers.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald

Nancy Drew, if she were real, would probably have been locked in that tower too. But hopefully she’d solve the mystery of the fire and escape before she was tied down for electro-shock treatment.

The Princess in the Tower, by Otori Reka

I am currently reading Therese Anne Fowler’s Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald, Zelda’s story as she herself might have told it.

I’m not very far into it. Zelda doesn’t seem crazy, though, just bored and stifled by the expectations placed on her in 1918 Montgomery, Alabama.

There is also now a television series on Amazon, Z: The Beginning of Everything, with Christina Ricci as Zelda.

The Fitzgeralds’ daughter, Frances Scott “Scottie” Fitzgerald Lanahan Smith, died in 1986. When she was born in 1921, Zelda said she hoped her daughter would be a “beautiful little fool”, a line which F. Scott had Daisy utter in The Great Gatsby.

Scott, Scottie, and Zelda Fitzgerald

She was definitely not a fool; multi-talented, Scottie graduated from Vassar in 1942, and over the years worked as a writer and journalist, wrote musical comedies, and was a tireless figure in the Democratic Party as a fundraiser and promoter of Democratic candidates. Completing the circle in a sense, she moved from Washington, DC to Montgomery, Alabama and spent the last years of her life in her mother’s hometown. Two of her daughters control the Fitzgerald Trust. The house Zelda grew up in was set to be demolished in 1986; instead benefactors purchased the home and donated it as the Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald Museum. The F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Fitzgerald Papers are held at the Princeton University Library.

Meanwhile, Nancy Drew is still a badass girl detective.

The Mystery of the Princess Locked in the Tower (Nancy Drew meets Zelda Fitzgerald) "The American woman is told she can do anything and then is knocked down the moment she proves it."

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xflower-childx · 4 years ago

Text

Framily

I woke up to a text from my sister saying that she wanted to voice chat today to update me on some family drama. I ordered some breakfast from a local restaurant (Omelette and breakfast potatoes, unfortunately they fucked up and put meat in it which really upset me) and sat down to call her. We talked a bit, I shared how Meeks may have Corona and how work could potentially shut down because she stopped by my job just before she showed the signs of it. We then talked a bit about some other small things before she laid into the drama...

We talked for 3 hours about the family, she explained how mama bear has now started lying to everyone about who said what about paying rent and the owning of the house and my aunt was in town and she got swept into it. It's become a mess and my heart hurts that it's gotten to a point where my sister's are saying they want to pull away and shun our parents for a while. I know that my family has been cracked for a long time and as we've grown and started to see them as fellow adults and not mom and dad we haven't liked the people we see. I love them, they have given me a good life and taught me so much and I know they've given up so much to give me my life, but as Breezy and I spoke we both shared some hard growing periods we had to go through from some past traumas with them, most of them steming from religion. We've all been able to work through that and find our own beliefs much to their dismay, although they hold onto hope that we will 'Find our way back'.

I can't unload everything that was talked about, it's too much and not exactly necessary. I wanted to share some thoughts though, starting with the lack of growing my parents have. The last time I wrote I said that some people choose to stop growing, whether it be from them thinking they don't need to learn anymore from age, they firmly believe they are right and never wrong, or they are just too stagnant in their place that they can't or don't really feel the need to move. I think that for the past 30ish years they've grown far too codependent that they don't know who they are individually and they aren't able to move on their own. They aren't able to learn or grow. Unfortunately I think within that time they lost any love they ever had for each other. I don't think that when they look at each other they see love, I think they see resentment. As they should because goddamn their relationship is toxic and unhealthy.

When I moved to Florida I started studying their relationship more and seeing the way they treated one another. Mom always controlling everything my father said and did and any penny he ever made and my father walking on eggshells around her aways trying to make her happy. I remember telling R that I never wanted a relationship like theirs and how it pained me to see it. Breezy said she told Reka the same thing, that if they ever got to this point or long before where mom and dad are now that they better divorce because now... Now I don't think they even know what to do. Both my sister's and I say they should just divorce and my dad even admitted that we moved to Florida he didn't ever imagine it being with my mother. He assumed she would just stay in Ohio with her friends and family and he would move away and then life would play itself out... Probably with divorce.

They are holding on, not for the right reasons though. Mom would have to work harder to provide for herself (Money. Mom would lose another income) and dad would lose a companion. They would lose their routine. They would lose their normality. They are so unhappy though and I just wish they would realize they don't have to be, that if they cared enough to still try and make it work that there are steps they can take to try and save their relationship, or if they come to find that they aren't the one for each other that maybe it's time to let go and find a new normal away from each other. Sitting and allowing this mess to continue and allowing themselves to hurt isn't healthy though and its affecting the family.

I don't know what this means next. I know changes will be happening soon though and that scares me. My sisters are over the bullshit and they're talking about moving, one into a house still in a Florida, the other back to Ohio. I know how hard it is to live in that house though and I don't blame them. I can't imagine what will happen between mom and dad when the nest is officially empty. Especially if they are cut off by their kids.

With my blood family falling apart I find so much appreciation for my friends family. I've made a nice little one with those closest to me. I know I can trust and rely on them for anything and I love that. I've learned from the mistakes of others around me to grow myself and discover what I need to thrive. I was explaining this to Breezy how my observant self would watch all the relationships form and fail around me to see what was healthy and what wasn't. How I know I only want the healthy ones and I won't settle for any less. She had asked if that also meant R as she knew we had light contact but as she was doing a FB purge she noticed R and a bit and then noticed that he and I weren't friends but she thought we were starting to be, I told her that yeah we occasionally chat but as far as our friendship goes I am not in control, that if our friendship were to move in any direction even as simple as being friends on social media I am not making any movement with it. I don't care to take the reins with that anymore as I feel I've played myself as The fool too many times for that and I put down my sword. I've made it known that I'm around and open for communication and beginning a friendship but it's up to him to stand up and make the move this time. She gave me a look as if to see if I was sure to even allow him back into my life, I reassured her that I was comfortable enough in myself to do so, that I would never allow anyone, including and especially him to ever make me feel like I wasn't special, important or good enough. That I know my worth and value and that if he ever made me feel close to less than what I am that it would get shut down real quick.

I didn't tell her that I knew he had it in him though. I didn't tell her that I knew he had the capability to make me feel like that I was the most important girl, that he had done that before for short periods of time. He just didn't have the confidence in himself to be that guy. He didn't have the drive to. He had the drive and confidence to find himself though and I understand that being more important of course. People change, grow and evolve, hearts heal and get stronger. So with all this being said does that mean I hold onto him finding that capability and popping back into my life, us talk through our shit and going from there whether it be friendship or something else? No, not really. I think it's possible and I would accept that gladly and I think we could work through it, but if I'm honest I've waited since the day we basically met for the wheels to turn in his brain and line up on this topic and I'm tired of waiting and I'm a shamelessly impatient and antsy gal... Also there is broken trust there that hasn't had the chance to heal yet. If someone were to come to me and ask me out on a date tomorrow, I would accept it openly and keep my mind open to whatever could happen. I know what I want and what I wish could happen, but I don't want to miss out on something that could be amazing because I'm wishing for something or someone else to make an appearance or at least show interest or care. I value my time much more than that, and I have so much love to give that I want to share it with more than just my framily. Also with everything going on with my parents it just proves my point even more that I don't want love or a relationship like that, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me or in one where we don't want see each other learn and grow and love the other through it all, even the shitty moments. I won't settle for anything less than I'm sure of and I'm damn stubborn over that. I know that life works in mysterious ways and at its own pace and I'm truly happy with where and who I am and the directon I'm going but a girl just wants to sip her tea while watching Queer Eye cuddling more than just her dog at the end of a long day, ya know?

#my writing #framily #june 2020 #wsnc #nc

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