#wbiwwtif

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Chapters: 1/6 Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Marvel Noir (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jean DeWolfe & Peter Benjamin Parker | Spider-Man Noir Characters: Jean DeWolfe, Peter Benjamin Parker | Spider-Man Noir Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Gay Jean DeWolfe, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, GUESS WHO'S BACK (and not sleeping. and dead no beta as usual), vague period-typical homophobia Series: Part 6 of What's Black is White, what's True is False Summary:

One of them is a reporter who disappeared for a year at day and one New York's most well-known vigilantes at night. The other is an FBI special agent with a habit of giving out fake names who knows--and is keeping--the Spider's identity. They both have their share of secrets, and they've become very good at keeping them. With the amount of secrets currently stacking up, though, "good" might not always be good enough.

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Starting off again we’re so back hell yeah

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this is going onto the spider blog because these are works of art. but also that last meme is EVIL. you are evil. i cannot possibly channel my excitement at these genuinely :D

@imabiscuitinthousandworlds you haven’t yelled at me yet so I still get to annoy you with memes

Im sorry

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some fit generally, some are specific to this WIP i'm working on, but have these memes

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currently writing yet another argument between jean and peter. problem: i also just watched one and a half episodes of life on mars.

which means that i'm putting jean and peter's argument right over the blueprint of gene and sam arguing (not a problem, they're basically the same like for real), and also i keep imagining jean's dialogue in gene's voice. like, very strong manchester accent, exact tone of voice and all. it fits too well. i cannot get rid of it. i hardly even manage to keep all the very british slang out of my fic. shaking from the physical exertion of not piling twenty bloodys and five bollocks on top of each other. i'm writing a professional by-the-books 30s usamerican fbi agent here not the 70s copper with morals hidden very deep behind layers of alcohol and sarcasm and physical violence. it's so bloody hard

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good news: what's black is white what's true is false in the works again!! like, the main series. a 5+1 thing. not a side-series extra little fic. i'm so excited honestly they mean so much to me. they are idiots. (this time featuring peter and jean having to juggle the variety of secrets. it's gonna be so much fun)

bad news is i forgor how tf to write any of them and especially how write conversations :(

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HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS

As I wait for my beta to get back to me...

Okay I've never had a beta before and I love him but I'll never have a beta again bc i'm IMPATIENT but anyway I messed around with the sourceless incorrect quotes generator and I'm dying over here so. have these ig

including some things with peter as spider bc guess what! they'll also interact. yes i have three fucking fics planned

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Jean: Where did you get that tomato soup? Peter: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Peter: What goes up but never comes down? Jean: The amount of stress you're bringing me.

Jean, shooing Peter away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

Peter: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Jean: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP ILLEGALLY ENTERING MY FUCKING CRIME SCENES!!!

Peter: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Jean and not do the thing, Peter: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Peter: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

Jean: So I have made the decision to trust you. Spider: A horrible decision, really.

Peter: I'm tired. Jean: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?! Peter: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.

Jean: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind. Peter: Thank god.

Spider: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times. Jean: You mean you stabbed them? Spider: They ran into my knife.

Jean: Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Peter: Why start now?

Peter: I love hearing Jean shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change.

Peter, getting a full nap with a warm blanket for the first time in literal years (i WILL make it happen): You know I think my life has value. Jean: Who are you and what have you done with Peter?!

Jean: You use humor to deflect your trauma. Spider: Awww, thanks- Jean: That’s not a good thing. Spider: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

Jean, to Peter: All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going to go first– I hate you.

Jean: Why are you on fire? Spider: This is just how my day is going.

Jean: I'll offer you some friendly advice- Peter: I don't want your advice. Jean: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice, dipshit.

Jean: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Parker, are a fucking cactus.

Jean: That’s illegal, right? Peter: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop? Jean: Kinda- Peter: Just shut the fuck up.

Jean: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing. Peter: But ya' didn't!

Jean: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult. Peter, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

Kidnapper: We have your child Jean: I don’t have a child? Kidnapper: Then who just told us to fuck off and that he doesn't have time for more stupid problems? Jean: Oh god, you have Peter

Jean: Who hurt you? Peter: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Jean: ...Yes, actually.

Spider: Something’s off. Jean: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people. Spider: No, but that’s funny.

Jean: Peter, no. Peter: Peter, yes.

Peter/Spider: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Jean: Killed without hesitation.

[that second part would work for either tho ngl but i can't NOT have pete say the first line]

Peter: I'm bored, any suggestions? Jean: Sleeping is nice. Peter: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.

Spider: It’s nice to be wanted, you know? Jean: Not by the law!

Jean: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Peter: Peter: I like you.

[Jean if he was not living in the 30s were being gay could get him fired and killed :D]

Jean: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Peter: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Jean: Where have you been all day? Peter: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

Peter: Jean, I sense hostility. Jean: Good, because I hate you.

Spider being an edgy bastard: I could kill you if I wanted. Jean: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Jean: You're alive. Peter: No need to sound so disappointed.

Peter: You read my diary? Jean: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

Jean: I can't imagine what Peter is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

Jean: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!? Spider, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Jean: What are you doing here? Peter: I could ask you the same question. Jean: I work here. This is my crime scene. Peter: I should probably ask you a different question.

Jean: You saved me! Why? Spider: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

Jean: Can you pass the salt? Peter: Can you pass away? Jean: Too much salt.

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someone remind me i'm trying to write crack or at least an attempt at humour. the girls (my bois) are sleep-deprived and fighting and i'm this close to referencing the torture scene earlier in the main series and giving jean a load of Unpleasant Memories resurfacing. this was just supposed to be funny

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Peter when Edward thought Jean was a woman (yes im making memes eat rocks)

that is too accurate xD

here have a meme in return

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man (Comicverse), Marvel Noir, Marvel (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Jean DeWolfe & Peter Benjamin Parker | Spider-Man Noir Characters: Jean DeWolfe, Peter Benjamin Parker | Spider-Man Noir, Original Characters Additional Tags: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, death blood and murder around, Past Character Death, my main FBI guys bonding, Peter is basically a part of the team by now, jean cries, yes it's that bad, Kidnapping, slight body horror, Spider Godess-Typical sense of creeping terror and body weirdness, No Beta We Die Like Various Unnamed People Of Varying Importance, Blood, lots of blood, Teeny reference to torture Series: Part 3 of What's Black is White; Assorted Fics Summary:

Parker has been off the grid for a suspiciously long time. Parker can't be dead. Parker has been kidnapped and what if they're too late? They can't be too late. They can't be. Jean needs to find him. He can't be too late.

Cheers to the tag cowboy for the idea uhhhh A While ago. I hope the angst lives up to your tastes.

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me whenever i need to describe a crime scene:

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thinking about may thinking jean is a mafia boss or something (and trying her best to overlook it based on the fact that he's friends with peter and to her it's very obvious he'd protect him) like.

very very private person

never mentions his job

in potential later scene i have not yet finished writing a goon is gonna recognise him and go "OH SHIT" before leaving

general air of someone who is not to be fucked with

and most importantly the comedic potential

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why is he so depressed??? my poor boi T~T

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me, checking in on my wip: so are we ready to move the plot forward yet?

peter, Staring Ominously:

jean, resolutely ignoring peter:

me:

me: aight guess not

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one more scenario and a good writing playlist and i can start the next bloody 5+1 jean and peter fanfic monster. just one. but nooooo--

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i got the comment email and was literally So Excited but noooo it's a fucking scam. however i am kinda wondering how wbiwwtif would look like in comic form. probably a lot of closeups of faces growing either panicked or angry and failing to deal with either emotion

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I sill think Jean and Peter's relationship is really, really funny. Like, is the other person the best that could have happened to them? Yeah, absolutely. Neither has any other regular personal contact. Are they also ready to kill each other know exactly where to hurt and do that shamelessly? Yes :D It's sort of messed up and also it's so so so funny to write. They hate each other but they respect each other and might be friends or family, in a very odd, twisted way, but also they hate each other. They would kill the other but also they literally can't because they saved each others' lives and that does form a bond of sorts, nothing they can do about it. Every chance to annoy the other is taken but if anyone else hurts them they better run really, really fast.