#way too many boomers

[tripably]

my one complaint about the booping day is that now that it's over, all the notifications regarding it are gone too, and though I would finally have time to go through all the random blogs I interacted with massively but didn't immediately think to follow are now gone from recorded history )-:

[bruhstation]

checking out theodore tugboat right now and all I can say is that foduck would really benefit from reading the dsm v

[lunarcry]

I HAVE LISTENED TO LEONEEDS APPLE SALESGIRL I HAVE WON MASSIVELY

[indigodawns]

.

[prussianmemes]

shopping for a three piece suit and the tailor brings me a absolutely immaculate overcoat that goes perfectly with everything else but it costs more than the rest of my entire purchase combined...

i can't justify 10 000 kč / 400 usd on a overcoat. the world is cruel.

[pixelatedquarter]

fob imminent, can't wait for us to once again scramble getting news from the concert

[bethrnoora]

look man even if i do think that sometimes people do get a bit sensitive about certain things there is no way in hell i'm agreeing with someone when they express a sentiment of "people are too sensitive nowadays". like i'm not fucking arguing with you. acknowledge nuance or die idc

[istherewifiinhell]

First reprimand for shitty customer service <3. Well first one that wasnt just just my boss laughing and saying a local famous person accused me of stealing their wallet [left it on a shelf].

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

[durn3h]

I've always wondered why so many governments keep investing tons of money into those stupid solar roadways projects when it makes 0 sense to anyone with a brain, but I just realized that it makes sense why this happens.

More and more funding is going into green energy and more and more people are wanting to see their government taking direct action to do something about green energy. There's money to be spent, but facilities require land that the government in most locations doesn't have, but they do have shittons of roads, so the most hassle free way of producing green electricity is to throw down solar panels in the one place they have complete control of the land, and then they get to claim that they are on the cutting edge of the science to appease their voters

[violetsiren90]

I am currently writing filthy depraved smut on my laptop while sitting at the bar, my screen at full brightness, and when I tell you I have never felt so alive...

[chuunibyou]

I can’t believe some of us lied (including me) and thought Twitter was better back when Tumblr lost a lot of people

[emptyheadgamer]

[nearwildheaven]

sometimes i miss being a teenage girl being obsessed with things to an unhealthy degree. like i’m still very much obsessed with certain media but i don’t think i’ll ever again be at the point of saving photos of band members to my camera roll, devoting every waking moment to seeing what they’re up to, making them my entire life. music means everything to me but i feel like i no longer have the devotion i had when i was 13

[rigberts]

I'm such a goddamn hypocrite bc I will say with my full chest that if anyone gives you shit for not being able to hold back your tears in public (whether it's school, work, a party, the bus, whatever) then you are legally allowed to fucking destroy them like an orangutan thrashing a snake against the ground by its tail, but if I ever start to cry in front of a single person I feel obligated to creep off to the nearest dark corner to quietly commit seppuku

[confessedlyfannish]

Writing Prompt #11

It's an innocent ("please," Jason sneers, "there's nothing innocent about a plagiaristic propaganda machine encouraging minors to dance for sick ol' pervs while it spews misogynistic hate speech.'"

"okay, boomer,"

"the fuck did you just call me, replacement?") TikTok, one of those ones that kind of simmers in the background for a few weeks until someone with a decent enough following posts it on the Platform Formerly Known as Twitter and from there it seriously catches traction, blowing up until Tim knocks on Bruce's office door, phone in hand. Damian stands behind him, arms crossed and clearly simmering.

Bruce, fresh off a series of zoom conferences, raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, so you haven't seen it," Tim decides, striding forward.

Bruce's eyebrow jumps a smidge higher, on the edge of concern, as Tim thrusts his phone into his grasp.

"So," he begins, reaching over to refresh the mobile page "there's a video that's been making the rounds on Twitter and—well you should probably see it," He sighs over Damian's scoff as he clicks through the pop-up asking him to sign in or join TikTok, and presses "Watch Again", unmuting the video.

🎶 "Doo, badoo-badoo-badoo Badoo-badoo-badoo-badoo,"🎶 an upbeat background song hums as someone, presumably a student, films a school hallway with their phone. They walk past students talking near their lockers, some of whom flash peace signs and silly grins as the camera swings their way before continuing on.

But the main point Bruce gets stuck on is the all lowercase white text at the center of the screen that an automated woman's voice awkwardly narrates:

"when you go to school with bruce wayne's other long lost lovechild"

The student filming comes up behind a much taller student who faces away from him, in conversation with a black haired pale teenaged girl. She spots the cameraman and shoots him a confused, disgruntled look, saying something to the boy who then turns around.

Bruce quietly observes as the camera zooms in on a boy around Tim's page, possibly older. Tall and broad-shouldered, with a strong jaw, he raises an eyebrow at the one filming, looking beyond the camera, pitch black hair with blue undertones falling into his blue eyes. The camera momentarily zooms too far into those eyes then abruptly pulls back as he quirks a puzzled smile at the viewer, mouthing out an easily understandable "hi?".

The TikTok ends and seamlessly transitions to a person balancing their cat on an exercise ball with minimal success and this time Bruce presses the Watch Again button. The heart on the right side claims 750k likes.

Damian scoffs, louder, as it ends. "Clearly it is a hoax, but it has been popular among my classmates."

"The board hasn't made much noise about it—" Tim starts.

"And they won't," Bruce says, lifting his eyes from his phone. "Wayne Industries doesn't give statements on videos like these, no matter how viral they become. I've been getting lovechild claims since before I adopted Dick."

Which Tim knows, which is why his insistence on showing Bruce this one raises his hackles. He pins Tim down with a stare and despite Tim's perfected PR mask, he can see Tim is unsettled.

"B...he really, really looks like you." Tim admits. Damian scoffs for a third time and Tim shoots him a glare, "I get it, you don't see it, but you haven't seen the pictures of Bruce when he was younger."

"I don't need to!" Damian says angrily. "You're all being ridiculous!"

"All?" Bruce asks. Tim shifts awkwardly. "The family group chat has been talking," he says.

"I see," Bruce says. Because he does. Many claim Damian to be his doppelganger, but the boy actually favors Talia not just in skin tone but in the shape and color of his eyes, as well as the soft slope of her mouth and ears. Whether those features will sharpen once he goes through puberty is anyone's guess.

But this young man has Bruce's eyes. Martha's eyes.

That night they have a suspiciously full house for dinner, with even Jason dropping in, but no one says anything until Barbara wheels in for dessert, carrying a manila folder on her lap.

"What?" she says, when everyone stares. "Dick told me it was crème brûlée today!"

Bruce extends a hand wordlessly, and Barbara sheepishly hands the folder over.

"Bruce," she says, before he can open it, "I wouldn't have looked into this normally, but,"

"Just say it," Jason says, leaning back in his chair. "Take away the gray hairs, the receding hairline, and the wrinkles and the kid's a dead match."

"Take it back, Todd," Damian growls, "Father has a very full head of hair!"

"Not to mention a failed track record at keeping it in his pants, Exhibit A," Jason continues, pointing a fork at Damian, "oh wait," he says gleefully, "kid is definitely 18, so I guess that would make you Exhibit B!"

The table erupts, cutlery tinkling as Damian gets a knee up on the table to hurl himself at a cackling Todd, Dick jumping up to grab him as the others lean out of the way—

"Ahem!" Everyone stops cold as Alfred stands in the doorway, porcelain ramekins of crème brûlée stacked perfectly on a silver tray. Under his gaze, everyone sits back down, Damian and Jason both quietly uttering a "Sorry Alfie/Alfred," as they straighten up.

Bruce is oblivious to the chaos, Barbara biting her lip beside him as he stares blankly inside the folder at the printed copy of an adoption certificate.

Two days and several million likes later, another TikTok goes viral from the same user. Caught in the moment as whoever is filming runs up to the group, the same young man is chatting with a blonde in a red letterman jacket, a partially formed crowd around them. Even with one leg still in the cafeteria table, he towers over everyone.

"—sh. Look, we're all possibly Bruce Wayne's son!" the boy snarks. He has his hands out, palms up as if he's making a great point, and as he looks around he catches sight of the cameraman and his smirk drops.

"Ah Mac, c'mon dude not again—" and the TikTok ends.