#watching Buffy to remind me where I'm at

[tigerf00d]

Words Inside a Shell

Chapter 1: Sometimes I Feel You're Smiling at Me

Pairing: Spike x Reader

Other Characters: Buffy and Willow, Xander (mentioned), minor original characters.

Tags: NSFW! No use of y/n. Afab but gender neutral.

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: While trying to get over a crush on a certain crispy-haired vampire, you end up falling right back into his arms

Or, the one where a night out with the girls goes wrong.

Next ->

Series masterlist

A/N: Title from Cibo Matto's ‘Moonchild’ felt appropriate seeing as they've played at the Bronze in the show! As this is NSFW, for a reminder: you are responsible for your own media consumption. Also, I'm trying to release this weekly, but Ao3 gets it ahead of schedule if you'd rather have it as soon as it came out :) he falls into an open grave right after the part in the gif by the way. Keep that man humble 🙏

After striking through the next item on your to-do list (get ready for Bronze w/ Buffy and Willow), you tucked the pen back into its spot and went to double-check how you looked in the mirror.

Getting to go out with the girls was a rare treat. Sure, it was just club food and live music, but a slayer is always on call, and you'd take what you can get.

You were maybe a little overdressed, but through dancing and the thick air of the Bronze, you were sure that it would look far more casual quickly. An enticing display of your neck and collarbones was sure to attract someone. Anyone at all. As long as they were sure to distract you from what was a quickly burgeoning crush on that bottle-blond dumpster diver. You nodded once, smiling and checking your watch; your lift would be here any moment. Grabbing your keys, coat and wallet, you left home to wait by the curb.

“My, aren't you precious?”

Your hands flung upright as you swung around, ready to defend yourself. The vamp batted your hands out of the way with a smirk.

“Spike! One of these days, we're going to have to put a bell on you.” You groaned, relaxing your stance.

“That’d defeat the purpose of being a creature of the night. What's got you so on edge?” His eyes followed the length of your body, “and so dolled up? Hot date?”

“Sure.” You replied coolly.

Spike took a step closer.

“Why? Is my outfit no good?” You twirled in place for him to appreciate. Was this the smartest, considering your goal for the evening? Not in the slightest. Were you rubbing it in while he was maybe possibly a little bit jealous? Absolutely, anyone who could pass up such a ripe opportunity was either far stronger or had never seen Spike before.

He huffed a laugh, eyes flicking to your lips.

“Well, I wouldn't say that.”

“What would you say?”

Spike took another step closer, now firmly situated in your personal space, his eyes lingering on your mouth still before finally matching yours.

“Careful pet, wouldn't want you to catch feelings now.”

You laughed, attempting for ‘don't be ridiculous’ but landing somewhere between ‘you're out of your mind’ and ‘am I that obvious?’.

“I'm not your pet, Spike.”

“Ooh, I'm well aware of that.”

“What was that you said about catching feelings?”

Your phone beeped in your pocket; attempting to reach it without touching Spike was somehow unbelievably awkward in such close quarters.

“Spike, it's Willow.”

“Answer it, I don't mind.”

You leaned away, fixing the vamp with a flat look, but hit answer regardless, holding the cell next to your ear.

“Hey Will, what's up?” Spike looked expectant as you paused for an answer. “Oh, hi, Buffy. You got–” You paused, turning away and covering your other ear with your palm. “What? I can't hear you over the… noise…? Yes, I'll hold.”

You checked your watch again, grazing your shoe over the concrete footpath just to hear the scuffing sound and feel the concrete against the sole.

Glancing at Spike, it was unnerving to see him already observing you. In moments like those, you could see how he was a predator compared to yourself. Clear, steady eyes watched your movements patiently, filing away information on habits that you probably weren't even aware of.

Most of all, his stillness was what brought this aspect of him to attention. As sedentary as a statue, he reminded you of a cat. Lean muscle poised, ready to spring, all the while making as little sound and movement as possible to continue watching for the right moment. You covered the phone's mouthpiece and frowned at him.

“Could you please not do that?”

He rolled his eyes. “Do what?”

“Look at me like you want to eat me?”

“Oh, but I–”

“Willow, hi!”

Spike threw his arms in the air exasperatedly but took a minute step back to give you more room, regardless.

“Ah, that makes sense. Well, no, actually, I have it on good authority that he's fine. He's right here. H–hang on, let me put you on speaker.” You waved Spike closer, and the pair of you huddled around the tinny audio of the speakerphone.

“Hi, Spike!”

“What's this about me being fine?”

“Well, we were on the way there when there were these vamps, so obviously, we had to slay them, but they said something about knowing a ‘Slayer Killer’, and we thought, well, you aren't special. We know one, too.”

Spike raised his eyebrow and mouthed 'hot date' to you, amusement plain on his face.

“Uh-huh. Sorry, Willow, what does this have to do with Spike being ok?” You interjected.

“Oh, well, we thought maybe we were all thinking about the same guy. So we swung by the crypt with one of the guys’ necklace amulet charm thingies to see if Spike could identify it, but he was nowhere to be seen. But if he's with you, as soon as Buffy clears out the rest of these cemetery vampires, we'll head right there.”

“I see–”

“Hey, Spike, you could join us for dinner if you'd like.”

“No thanks, not like I can enjoy the hors d'oeuvres. Though someone here certainly looks good enough to eat.” His gaze roamed over you as he spoke.

“Gross, Spike.” Buffy's voice came suddenly.

“I meant myself.”

“Yeah, yeah, as long as you two aren't flirting when we get there.” You could hear the teasing smile in her voice.

“We do not flirt.” The pair of you simultaneously protested; you heard the phone passing between the two girls this time, and soon after followed Willow’s

“If you say so. Listen we're maybe fifteen minutes away, ten if we rush.”

“No hurry," you placated. "It's not like we made reservations. Plus, I have Billy Idol to keep me company.”

“I'll have you know he stole my look.”

“Sure. Anyway, we'll see you guys when you get here, k?”

“Alright. See you soon!” Willow replied cheerfully before hanging up.

Silence fell once again as you pushed your phone back into its resting place. Spike's calculating gaze was back on you and you fought back the urge to shiver.

“You cold?”

“No, I'm wearing my coat.” You paused. Obviously, he could see you were wearing your coat. “Why do you ask?”

“Saw you trembling. Had to make sure it was me having that effect and not the weather.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to face him.

“Y'know what Spike? Even if that were the case, it's not for the reason you think.”

“Is that so? Enlighten me.”

“It's not very nice.”

“I'm not very nice.”

Under your breath, you grumbled, “Yeah, that's what you think.” Then, more loudly, you said, “Sometimes, when I catch you already looking at me, it's like at least centuries worth of alarm bells go off in the back of my mind.”

He tilted his head questioningly, but remained silent, prompting you to continue.

“I dunno if you felt this with… with whoever turned you before they did or whatever. But it's… it's like my brain suddenly remembers that to you, I'm prey. It's unnerving.” You shrugged, glancing back at your shoe before looking up at him, surprised to see the understanding on his face.

“Well, I can assure you, I may be evil. But killing you would be no fun.”

“Then why do you watch me like that?”

Spike laughed, “It’s not my fault somewhere your hunted and wanted wires got crossed. Blame your slaying on that one.”

You opened your mouth to ask him precisely what the hell he meant by that when the sound of Buffy’s ancient Jeep came from just around the corner.

You point at Spike, hesitating for a moment before pushing the finger against his chest and sternly warning him.

“We’re not done talking about this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, love.” He responded easily.

The car stopped a little ways from you, Willow hopping out to greet you.

From the window, Buffy noticed Spike’s lack of absence. “Oh, hey, Spike.”

“Slayer.”

“Did you expect him to just leave me here?” You asked with a rueful smile.

“Kinda.” Willow answered.

Your expression burgeoned on confused as you looked back at the vamp from over your shoulder, to which he gave you a half-assed shrug with a small smile on his face.

“Shouldn’t leave someone alone in the dark like that; there could be all sorts of unseemly things waiting in the shadows.” He paused, giving Buffy enough time to react, well aware that he was one of said unseemly things, and then added, “It wouldn’t be gentlemanly.”

“I suppose you would know what being a gentleman is like, wouldn’t you, Spike?” you quipped.

“Is that a jab at my age? That’s unbecoming.”

“Moreso, how would you be so good at being evil if you weren’t intimately aware of what good is, right?” You looked at him knowingly, his eyes glittered with mirth but you knew he was definitely considering the ramifications of what he had just said. That despite being a demon, a predator, evil didn’t come as naturally to him. Reducing his vampirism to an impulse control problem; which, to be fair, wasn’t far off.

“Oh my god, get a room, you two.”

“Buffy!” You whipped around to face her.

“What? You guys are totally flirting right now, right Will?”

“Yep, most definitely.” The redhead nodded from where she had regained her seat in the back.

“I don’t even… know what to say to that. I…?” You frowned and then shook your head as though to dispel the thought, climbing into the seat beside Willow. “Spike, do you need my keys or something?”

“And lose the fun of crawling in the window?”

“So you did come over for a reason.”

“You’ve got cable.”

You rolled your eyes and dangled the keys out of the car. “See you, Spike.”

The vampire hummed, standing and watching as Buffy’s jeep pulled away.

“You guys aren’t very good at keeping secrets.” You grumbled.

“I don’t like the guy,” Buffy started, “but I’d be blind to think he didn’t at least want you a teensy bit more than just as a snack.”

“Gee, thanks, Buff.”

She smiled at you through the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, and he has this compactness,” Willow smiled, recalling the Xander comment that had all given you pause.

You sighed and looked out the window. “Let’s not talk about vampires anymore tonight. Be normal for once. Pay too much for drinks, dance… Pick someone up, maybe.”

“Deal.” Was Buffy’s relieved response as Willow nodded agreeably beside you.

[obsidianpen]

Brief ramble on Harry in No Glory and how he reminds me of other fandoms:

Not sure if you've ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it's another "chosen one" piece of media and I often end up thinking about Buffy's parallels to Harry, particularly as the war picks up canonically and then Harry as he is in No Glory.

I bring this up because one of my other favorite fanfic authors (who also writes Harrymort) was describing why they liked Buffy so much and they essentially described her as being damned by her "chosen one" status: she can't have a normal life, she can't have a normal relationship, she has to drop out of college to fight monsters and take care of her little sister, and I was reading all of this and had to do a double-take because it resonated with Harry in No Glory so much.

So much of what I think makes him inherently sympathetic as a character, especially as he continues to try and gain power in Voldemort's dictatorship, is how clearly it comes at the cost of basically everything he'd ever hoped for his future. His chance to marry, have children, a normal job and a normal home is all basically ripped from him by the brutal necessity of his relationship with Voldemort. No matter how awful Voldemort is, Harry basically has to stay with him because Voldemort without Harry will always, always be worse and Harry knows it. I think we could watch him become the second most powerful ruler in the country and it would still hurt because it's also painfully clear that none of that is what Harry ever wanted at all. He'll sacrifice every dream he's ever had for himself on the altar of doing the right thing, and that's never not going to feel like a punch to the gut.

In that respect, I think that the current vibes of No Glory are actually very similar to Game of Thrones: rule, or die.

It makes me curious what Voldemort will eventually do about this, if anything. Given the psychic nature of their connection, he has to know that Harry's not truly going to be happy with the path that they're on, and that opens up an interesting character decision where he has the opportunity to put someone else's happiness before his own.

Ramble over, thank you for all your writing! I'm going to keep thinking about these two until my head explodes.

I haven’t watched Buffy, but I feel like I need to because I’ve heard similar comparisons and it seems like it’s my kinda show. I’ve also been told NG has GoT vibes to it (which I have watches and read), and I get why people have been saying that, but I’m not sure if I agree… I guess I do to an extent. It’s mind of unpredictable and feels like people could either gain power or suddenly die at any moment, but since it’s all Harty’s POV I feel like it has a really different flavor that GoT ever did.

no comment on what V will eventually do (or not do) 😇

🫶🫶🫶

[coraniaid]

Some scattered thoughts on rewatching Hush (Episode 10 of Buffy's fourth season).

As I said a few days ago, Professor Walsh would make a lot more sense to me if the writers didn't pretend she was teaching -- or that Buffy or Willow would want to learn -- undergrad pyschology. The opening dream sequence of this episode (much of it, presumably, resembling things the real Walsh might say in one of her lectures, or perhaps is saying in real life while Buffy is dreaming) is a prime example of this. Nothing she's saying has anything to do with pyschology as such. It's explicitly about language and communication ("not the same thing", as the episode is quick to remind us). So make her some kind of English professor! That's the subject you set up Buffy as liking last year and it's also the subject that actually works for the speeches you want her to give! (And yes, it has nothing to do with Walsh's double life as a military officer and demon-dissecting scientist, but crucially neither does rambling about Jung and Freud while pretending to be teaching pyschology).

I also continue to be more than slightly confused about how old Riley Finn is meant to be. He describes himself as "a pysch major" in this episode, which supports the theory that he's an older undergraduate student who happens to be a TA as well. And, bolstering this theory further, at the very beginning of the next episode he'll tell Buffy that "somebody should speak before one of us graduates". So he's a pysch major who's yet to graduate, right? But in that very same episode, Buffy will literally describe him as a "pysch grad student"; and although undergrads acting as TAs and marking papers isn't unheard of, it's something that's far more common for graduate students to do. And I don't really see how Riley could have the leadership role in the Initiative he does unless he's been a member for a while: was he recruited while he was still in high school? (For that matter, how long has the Initiative been going? Are we supposed to think they were active last year, while the Mayor was still around? Or did they only move to Sunnydale a few months ago? I realize these are the sorts of questions you're not meant to ask about Buffy, and yet...)

OK, multiple people get their hearts cut out by grinning monsters while lying in their beds and unable to scream for help this episode, but by far the most horrifying scene is sill the one where Willow goes to the college Wicca group where she'll first run into Tara and tries to talk to its leaders about doing actual magic. It's all very well done (and quite genuinely hard to watch), but it does rather undermine Willow's claim last year [in Season 3's Choices] that she wasn't just going to stay in Sunnydale for Buffy's benefit and that Sunnydale was a particularly good place to learn magic. (And she doesn't even try going to this group until she's been in school for months!) Again, I realize that expecting tight continuity between seasons of this show is missing the point a little, but ... well. Sometimes I like to miss the point.

Speaking of Tara, I'd remembered the scene where Willow insists she's "definitely nothing special" and Tara overcomes her stutter to earnestly assure her that "no, you are". But I'd forgotten it happened so soon in their relationship. This is Tara's first episode! This is their first actual conversation!

Anyway, Amber Benson is great as Tara right from the beginning and I only wish she'd appeared in the show earlier. Does anyone know for sure if Tara only got written into the show after Seth Green's Oz was written out? It certainly seems that way to me, but perhaps I'm wrong. (Supposedly Whedon claimed that one of Willow and Xander was always going to come out this season, but I find that pretty hard to reconcile with what we see on the screen.) It's fun to imagine an alterate version of Season 4 where Willow went to the Wicca group and met Tara as early as episode 2 (and where as a result we got to see Tara in episodes like Fear Itself or Beer Bad or Something Blue). (It would also have been great if Oz had stayed on the show and had to find a role in the narrative beyond being 'Willow's cool and non-threatening boyfriend'.)

Equally I wish this wasn't the last we saw of Giles's "old friend" Olivia (or at least of the real Olivia: the actor comes back one more time for Restless). She's a frustratingly underwritten character in a lot of ways (in part of course because she only actually appears in two episodes) and it's something of a mystery to me how and when she and Giles are meant to have met. But the episode spends a lot of time paralleling Buffy/Riley and Xander/Anya and (to a lesser extent) Willow/Tara as having relationship problems that they struggle to resolve with words (and, indeed, feelings that can't really communicate in words). So it's kind of odd how Giles/Olivia almost deliberately subverts that: Giles has been talking to Olivia and he did try to tell all about the supernatural [and again, note that this very much does not comply with the rules he tries to impose on Buffy; she can't use her calling to impress "cute boys" but this is never something Giles seems to worry about himself] but despite being an "old friend" Olivia just assumed he was making it all up (somthing she was weirdly relaxed about). Anyway, at least the show manages to not literally kill Olivia off, which is honestly better than I'd have expected. (I'm told she comes back in the comics, which would be fun if I thought anything that happens in the comics mattered.)

I know it's mostly just there for a silly and ultimately harmless gag, but Riley and Forrest getting into a secret elevator they know requires voice activiation to work safely (and apparently not knowing the override codes?), despite both of them knowing they can't speak and so won't be able to provide said voice activation, does not exactly suggest they are competent adults who should be trusted with military hardware. Then again, if I was going to list everything that was stupid about the Initiative I'd be at it for years, so let's not even bother.

Overall I think that Hush is a very well made episode and I enjoyed rewatching it. I definitely think it's the strongest episode of Season 4 so far, but I'll confess to not being quite as taken with it as a lot of people seem to be. It wouldn't ever have made my top 5 episode list, and rewatching it now I'm not sure it would have much chance of making my top 10 either. I'm not sure exactly why that is, but I can think of three reasons that all contribute at least a little.

One is that, to be frank, I just don't care about the overall season arc enough to be all that impressed that this episode manages to move that arc along while also introducing and resolving a stand-alone monster of the week plot.

The Initiative were never a good idea and they're still not compelling here (we still don't really know what they think they're up to!). I can't quite persuade myself to care about Buffy and Riley's self-imposed relationship problems. The show still hasn't done anything to convince me why the gang are letting Spike stay with them beyond "Seth Green left so it was imperative we add somebody else to the opening credits as soon as possible ... no, no, we can't add Amber Benson, it has to be a man obviously". And we know that Olivia isn't ever going to come back after this episode, so there's a certain pointlessness to all her scenes with Giles. I guess I'm just not invested in the wider story that's being told here. (Apart from the Willow and Tara stuff, obviously. That's great.)

Another issue is that I think the episode somewhat lacks faith in its central premise. For an episode whose selling point is meant to be that nobody can speak, there's an awful lot of on-screen talking.

Compare this to similiar concept episodes like Season 3's The Zeppo or Season 6's Once More With Feeling, or with this season's own Restless.

The Zeppo's gimmick is that it's a Xander POV episode. And in that episode, immediately after the opening credits, we begin with a scene with Xander [and no other Scooby Gang member around] trying to impress the school jocks with his football catching prowess. The episode only goes back to its usual approach in the final scene, with the rest of the gang talking about how -- in the more usual episode we didn't get to see more than a few partial scenes of -- they closed the Hellmouth and "no one will ever know" how close the world caming to ending, about a minute and a half before the credits roll.

Once More With Feeling is, of course, the musical episode. This is something it keeps up from the (suitably revamped) opening credits to the very final curtain fall. Buffy is singing about going through the motions before anybody's said a word of dialogue. Even after Sweet is defeated, the cast are still singing the question of 'where do we go from here?'.

Restless's gimmick is that it's the dream sequence episode. And, sure enough, everyone is soundly asleep on the couch within two minutes of the opening credits, and they'll only all be awake again about two minutes before the episode ends.

But in Hush? Well, the characters are all still happily chatting away more than ten minutes past the credits. They only lose the ability to speak about a third of the way into the full episode, and not only that but they're all talking again with almost five minutes left to go (time enough for three separate conversations between Willow and Tara and between Giles and Olivia and [at the least the beginning of one] between Buffy and Riley).

It would be more impressive, I think, if people lost their voices earlier, but they can't because the episode still has a lot of work to do to set up its various arcs -- and despite the premise it can't do that without words!

There's a quote I read by Joss Whedon [cited in, among other places, Mark Field's Myth, Metaphor & Morality] where he says he wanted to make "a show where people didn't talk [...] where I would have to tell the story only visually". And, well, okay: by that metric Hush is unequivocally a failure, right? Per J Freedland's data, the average episode of Season 4 [excluding Hush itself] has 762.74 seconds of dialogue. Hush itself has 346.41 seconds. That's obviously a lot less -- less than half as much, even -- but just as obviously Hush is not remotely an episode whose story is told "only visually". It's a story whose second act is told (mostly) visually, but that's not the same thing at all.

Finally -- and this is really the least important element - while the Gentlemen unquestionably look very visually striking and impressive, their big plan is ... not actually very interesting to watch.

Why do the Gentlemen need seven hearts, and what happens if they get them? Why does it take them more than one night to collect them all? Where did the original fairy story about them come from? Well, the show says, it doesn't matter. And it doesn't seem to matter how they get defeated, either. Buffy asks Giles at one point how she's going to get her voice back, and he can't tell her. Then the answer turns out to be "just get Riley to smash that fragile unguarded wooden box you conveniently dreamed about at the start of the episode". No doubt this is all very symbolic of something or other, but it's still a little underwhelming as plot resolutions go. Though honestly I'm not sure what I'd suggest instead except "not that".

[galadrieljones]

Get to Know Me

Thank you for the tag, @b1narysol0 ^_^ It has been a while since I've been tagged in one of these. I decided to start a new chain, since the last one was getting a little long.

Favourite colour: It sort of changes, but right now, I like gold.

Last song: Right now, I'm listening to "All I Want for Christmas is You." I'm at my parents' house, and it's been real, but I really can't wait to go home lol.

Last movie: On Christmas Eve, we watched the 1984 A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott, and it was really good!

Last TV show: "How I Met Your Mother," which is my current comfort show. But I'm almost done with the final season!! I have already met Ted's future wife. Now I'm just waiting desperately for him to do the same lol. I think next, I am going to rewatch Buffy seasons 2-3, so I can think more about my hypothetical Solavellan/Bangel meta.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Usually sweet.

Last thing I googled: I think it was literally "map of thedas high resolution" lol. I needed to remind myself where Denerim is on the map. I found a good one here!

Current obsession: Dragon Age, or mostly Solas. I think about him constantly. I am eager to post the next update of Riptide. I got to write a bit of mean Solas this time around, which was fun >:)

Looking forward to: Going home!! I miss my house, and our routine, and my husband. He didn't come with us on this trip to my parents' house, because he couldn't take the time away from work. Since he's like, my lifeline, and my best friend, I'm pretty bored, and I miss him terribly. I also miss my Playstation lmfao. We get to go home the day after tomorrow. Woohoo!

Tagging: @vir-tanadahl @dreadfutures @a-tear-in-the-veil @evanhereonearth @amburuthings @bitethebulette and @salesmain ❤️

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 3

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The dispatch that Laurent had written the night before galloped off to the east with a horse and a rider.

this is to the guy at the inn, right?

He became aware of Laurent on the periphery of his vision, pale-haired and wearing riding leathers.

blonde man jumpscare

Laurent was apparently arrogant enough to do this without armour. He clearly didn’t think he was going to lose, not if he was inviting the entire troop to watch it happen. He wasn’t thinking clearly at all. Laurent, with his unmarked body and his pampered indoor skin, would be fresh from palace sports where his opponents would have always, politely, let him win. He’s going to be killed, thought Damen, seeing the future in that moment with perfect clarity.

again. “i hope she fries / i’m free if that bitch dies / i’d better help her out” (buffy the vampire slayer, once more with feeling)

Damen’s heartbeat was loud with the shock of his surprise: at the end of the first exchange, Laurent was still alive. At the end of the second also. At the end of the third he was, persistently and remarkably, still alive, and watching his opponent calmly, measuringly.

THE PEOPLE’S PRINCE!!! ✨

Laurent fought like he talked. The danger lay in the way he used his mind: there was not one thing he did that was not planned in advance. Yet he was not predictable, because in this, as with everything he did, there were layers of intent, moments when expected patterns would suddenly dissolve into something else.

glances pointedly at the book 1 garden scene

Laurent turned back Govart’s second surge with an easy grace and a particularly Veretian series of parries that made Damen itch to pick up a sword.

“he’s so competent i need to duel him so bad” this is attraction! to me!

It was not an even match at all. It was a lesson in abject public humiliation. But the one teaching the lesson, the one effortlessly outclassing his opponent, was not Govart. ‘Pick it up,’ said Laurent, the first time Govart lost his weapon.

now that we’re in book 2, we (and damen) finally get to see laurent’s laurentocity projected on an opponent who is not damen. and it’s like, oh, is that how everyone else has seen him the whole time? no wonder they were confused by laurent’s worst and most openly depraved behavior towards damen in book 1. especially since they didn't know that damen killed laurent's brother!

Damen knew the answer to that question. Laurent was not going to kill him. He was going to break him. Here, in front of everyone.

we all need hobbies. that just happens to be one of laurent’s

He looked first to the Prince’s men, instinctively expecting to see his own reaction to the fight mirrored on their faces, but instead they showed gratification coupled with a total lack of surprise. None of them had been concerned that Laurent might lose, he realised.

because he’s that bitch. catch up, damen

Lazar, who had thrown Laurent the cloth, didn’t look as though he was going to be mouthing off about Laurent again. In fact, the new way he was looking at Laurent reminded Damen unmistakably of Torveld. Damen frowned.

someone’s jealous againnnn

His own reaction had him feeling oddly off balance. It was just that it was—unexpected. He had not known this about Laurent, that he was trained like this, capable like this. He wasn’t sure why he felt as though something, fundamentally, had changed.

me when i realize that i have a crush on someone

In other words, the Regent was to be informed that his Captain had been well and truly turned off, in a manner that could not be painted as a revolt against the Regency, or as princely disobedience, or as lazy incompetence. Round one: Laurent.

hey, that’s kinda how my annotations look!

Damen was finishing with the fire when Laurent came into the room, still in riding clothes. He looked relaxed and fair, as though weathering a duel, cutting down his Captain, and following that up with a day-long ride had had no effect on him at all. By now Damen knew him too well to be taken in by it. By any of it. He said, ‘Did you pay that woman to fuck Govart?’ Laurent paused in the act of stripping off his riding gloves and then, deliberately, he continued. He worked the leather from each finger individually. His voice was steady. ‘I paid her to approach him. I didn’t force his cock into her mouth,’ Laurent said.

oh you KNOW laurent was holding back a smile here. also gloves 😮‍💨

‘You broke a man today. Doesn’t that affect you at all? These are lives, not pieces in a chess game with your uncle.’ ‘You’re wrong. We are on my uncle’s board and these men are all his pieces.’ ‘Then each time you move one of them, you can congratulate yourself on how much like him you are.’ It just came out. He was in part still reverberating with the blow of having had his guess confirmed. He certainly didn’t expect the words to have the effect on Laurent that they did. They stopped Laurent in his tracks. Damen didn’t think he’d ever seen Laurent caught completely without words before, and since he couldn’t imagine the circumstance was going to last long, he hurried to press his advantage. ‘If you bind your men to you with deception, how can you ever trust them? You have qualities they will come to admire. Why not let them grow to trust you naturally, and in that way—’ ‘There isn’t time,’ said Laurent. The words pushed themselves with sheer force out of whatever wordless state Laurent had been shocked into. ‘There isn’t time,’ Laurent said again. ‘I have two weeks until we reach the border. Don’t pretend that I can woo these men with hard work and a winning smile in that time. I am not the green colt my uncle pretends. I fought at Marlas and I fought at Sanpelier. I am not here for niceties. I don’t intend to see the men I lead cut down because they will not obey orders, or because they cannot hold a line. I intend to survive, I intend to beat my uncle, and I will fight with every weapon that I have.’ ‘You mean that.’ ‘I mean to win. Did you think I was here altruistically to throw myself on the sword?’

context: damen accidentally hits the Laurent Vulnerability Button by comparing him to his uncle. in a rare moment of exhausted honesty, laurent admits his own helplessness and the dire nature of their situation. he doesn’t have time to do this right—doing it at all is already a daunting challenge. he then restates his determination to succeed, or at least die trying.

the last time something like this happened—“i can’t protect you as i am, trust me”—damen verbally eviscerated laurent and abandoned him in a vulnerable state. i wonder what will happen this time…

also. “i intend to survive. i intend to beat my uncle. i mean to win.” so this is how he’s survived the past 7 years: pure force of will. i love laurent so much.

Damen made himself face the problem, stripping away the impossible, looking only at what, realistically, could be done.

a strength of his! and often a weakness of laurent’s!

looks like damen isn’t going anywhere this time :)

Damen said, ‘I will help you in whatever way I can, but there will be no time for anything but hard work, and you will have to do everything right.’ Laurent lifted his chin and replied with every bit of cool, galling arrogance he had ever shown. ‘Watch me,’ he said.

I FUCKING LOVE LAURENT OF VERE!!!!

[redrikki]

Teen Wolf Rewatch - Season 1 Review

Season 1 of Teen Wolf serves the same blend of camp, horror, and teenage coming of age drama as my youthful fav Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but by making the monster the protagonist, it changes it up in interesting ways. Scott is a fascinating choice for the lead, not just cause he's a werewolf, but because he's not a hero. He doesn't want to be there, he's only involved in the plot to protect himself from it. He's the victim of people who would be the heroes of monster hunting shows like BtVS and Supernatural or the antihero protagonists of a roaring rampage of revenge film. Making Scott the main puts Teen Wolf into interesting conversation with those other genres and shows.

This season does a good job of setting out the themes that will define the rest of the series. Revenge is an open spiral of destruction. Monster is as monster does. Power is an obligation to act and the pursuit of power hurts everyone including you. Poor communication kills. Violations of characters bodily autonomy and mind makes for compelling suffering.

Returning to season 1 and reminding myself of where Scott started gives me more appreciation for where he ends up. He changes so much! Yes, he's still a dorky sweetheart, but his priorities are radically different. Season 1 Scott is a selfish, immature child. He refuses to give up a sport he loves and worked hard on just because playing endangers himself and everyone around him. He plans to kill a man, not for justice or to protect, but so he doesn't have to live with lycanthropy. That's a far cry from season 6 Scott who gives up college to protect Beacon Hills and tries to save the lives of his enemies. Insert that's growth.gif here.

Hey, you know who else in season 1 is selfish and immature? Literally all of them! Stiles is out here living his Hardy Boys/comic book fantasy with zero thought as to the impact of his adventures on everyone else. Allison is so desperate to be strong she's putting arrows into people over it. Derek is so into his trust issues he alienates everyone who might have willingly helped him by trying to intimidate and manipulate them into it. Lydia is using her "friends" and cutting off bits of herself for just a sliver of validation and do not gets me started on Jackson. They all grow so much from here and I'm looking forward to watching it all over again!

Scott/Allison is central to the season, but I was kind of cold on it until the last episode. As an aromantic asexual, I have been bewildered, bored, and exasperated by teen romance drama since I was a teen. It doesn't help that their relationship isn't based on anything more solid than lust. Scott needs Allison to feel normal and in control at a time when he has none, but he doesn't trust her enough to share what he's going through or respect her enough to make informed decisions about her safety or their relationship. It isn't until the moment in the season finale where he trusts her to help him fight Peter and where she knows what he is and decides to love him anyway that I really started to ship it.

The vibes on this show are impeccable, but the cracks in the writing are already starting to show. There's all these continuity errors. When was the fire? How many died? What classes are the kids in again? And don't even get me started on the timeline. This show desperately needed a show bible, but whatever I guess.

[rise-my-angel]

No but like. You have a point with the credits. It just comes off as lazy. My guy, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer spinoff had it's own opening and probably didn't have a crumb of budget compared to hotd

Oh my god that comparison is perfect to what my point was, you are a genius

The theme song to Angel is so good, it's not as much of a banger as Buffy the Vampire Slayer's, but it is great on it's own, and it has it's own unique identity that feels appropriate for the different vibe of the show. So, I really was expecting a different theme song for hotd.

I mean, think of Game of Thrones. The music for Dany's scenes all had a different sort of vibe to it, only twinged slightly depending on whatever city in Essos she was near that had a different culture to explore. And her music was already really good, and I liked that it was very different then say the Stark music or the Lannister music. It made it stand out when you hear it, giving the Targaryean character's music it's own audible Targaryean identity.

I was sort of expecting something along those lines, not just, the same one as the other show. I mean I get it, by using the same theme it connects the two shows together, but like you said, Angel had a different theme then Buffy and it was awesome and I never needed to hear the Buffy theme to remember that I wasn't watching Buffy. I knew it was set in the same universe without the same theme song, because the musical team on that show understood that I was not a one year old who still slaps my hand into my food instead of eating it.

I just really love analyzing the music for Game of Thrones, I think Ramin Djawadi put so much thought and passion into making the music so memorable and distinct. I mean when the Stark theme started to play at the season 2 opener of hotd, I immediately got hit with those feelings because the Starks music is so distinct and holds such an emotion value. So it worked in a very small dose like that to introduce us to the setting we found ourselves suddenly in, but it didn't overstay it's welcome where it got to be too key jangling. It knew there when to pull back, but still, that was the show using Game of Throne's music to it's advantage, it was nothing unique to hotd.

But I really struggle with the music for House of the Dragon. Not a lot of it feels distinct, and I know that most of the story takes place in the same locations with very similar people who do not need distinct music, but there feels like a lack of individuality here. It doesn't stand out, it's not memorable.

The music that plays in season 1 episode 2, when Jon is saying goodbye to Bran at his bedside in front of Catelyn, is actually one of my favourite scores of all time since the first time I ever heard it. It is beautiful and it reminds me of that scene and the Starks everytime I listen to it.

I just think the lack of a unique opening theme for House of the Dragon is indicitive of the show's lack of a musical identity, in comparison to Game of Thrones, which used it's musical scores in such a brilliant way that is rare for a television show.

Also, again to end on a petty note for bad comedy, I still watch seasons 1 through 5 of Game of Thrones and the theme song still makes me excited because the show attached is still up to that music's quality (season 5s quality is only held up by the Jon plot and the Cersei plot I will admit that though).

House of the Dragon is a chore for me to get through, but I'm trying to rewatch season one to be able to better have references directly for some of my future criticsms of the show, and hearing that theme song before these episodes is like, no.

Go get your own theme song, this one doesn't belong to you.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s6 ep3: Barge of the Dead

Ugh another experimental episode, when will they ever end?? (They will not, there's still more!) 'It was all a dream' is a frustrating story device in any genre, but all the more so here, because it lacked any sci-fi element, and made it veer off into straight up fantasy, which Star Trek isn't, and shouldn't try to be.

While I like the idea of exploring some Klingon lore and B'Elanna's relationship with her mom, the execution here just didn't really make it work. There have been plenty of Star Trek eps where characters have near death experiences, but they've always had some sort of sci-fi reason for it. You can't just give a character that with no explanation, because then that's canonically saying that an afterlife exists, and as a sci-fi show, they can't do that. If this was Xena or Buffy or whatever, fine, those are fantasies, but Star Trek needs to be rooted in some sort of actual science, even if it's extremely far fetched and not actually feasible in reality. You have to at least be able to say 'well, science figured this out at some point, just go with it'. B'Elanna almost dying once and seeing the Klingon Barge of the Dead is one thing, but recreating the conditions that almost killed her and seeing the same thing with a continuing story arc, without explaining how she's able to magically do this, was like, what?? Directed dreaming is one thing, but she was technically dead, so that's not what's going on. Obviously they'd have to make it a dream or something like that for her to talk to her mom while they're in the Delta Quadrant, but a better framing device would have really helped sell it for me more. As it is, having something take place totally inside a character's mind for most of the episode makes me disinvest in the story quite a bit. And I love B'Elanna, but I really need something real to anchor to amidst all the psychobabble mumbo jumbo, most of which didn't really ring true or make sense.

For one thing, B'Elanna suddenly being willing to die to maybe save her mom's soul, when she's resented her parents for most of her life, and her own life is finally getting better, seems like a pretty extreme shift that would take more than one near death dream to bring about. Her suddenly believing in Klingon religion after a lifetime of not doing so, and believing in it strongly enough that she's willing to die for it, and turn her back on her whole Voyager family, is definitely way too big a leap from just one dream. I think she would be more likely to look at it analytically and examine the metaphors like Chakotay suggested. But then I don't believe in the sort of reward and punishment based notion of an afterlife that's going on here, so I'm never really gonna be on board with any story focusing on judging someone's fitness for eternal damnation or eternal reward. Honestly the Christian overtones of the supposedly Klingon mythology were probably a big part of why I can't really like this one. Having cultures and religions that are supposed to be alien be basically carbon copies of current human cultures and ideologies does make the Star Trek universe seem, well, pretend. It takes the magic out of it to be reminded time and again that it's basically been made by a group of American straight white guys who can't truly conceive of ways of life that are substantially different from our own.

I honestly don't remember if I ever watched this one all the way through before, since I distinctly remember the first time this aired- 12 year old me was very annoyed that they messed with established Klingon lore to say that dishonor passes for child to parent, when it had always been from parent to child. I remember saying to my mom, 'if they're just gonna change it for no reason, then I don't care what happens because they're not doing it right' and I messed around with something else and didn't pay attention to the rest of the ep. Pedantic though I may have been, 12 year old me was kinda right. While I don't think there's nothing worthwhile here, it does muddy the waters when they mess around with established lore for the sake of convenience. World building is critical in sci-fi and fantasy, and keeping the rules consistent is the the key. Changing or ignoring rules of the genre, or the franchise, compromises the story they're trying to tell. You can't focus on the story when you're wondering what the writers were thinking and wanting an explanation.

And all of these things are barriers I have to get through to even get to discussing the story itself, which is the deeply frustrating notion that B'Elanna is somehow not honorable enough or warrior enough to be a good Klingon, which in itself, deeply pisses me off. In what universe is B'Elanna Torres not badass enough to get into Sto'vo'kor?! She was a Maquis for goodness sake! Freedom fighter was literally her job description- even if she doesn't go for Klingon ritual, she absolutely has been a brave warrior, and Klingons seem like they would care about how you fight your battles more than what rituals you observe. She's literally actually a warrior, how is that not Klingon enough?! It sexism, pure and simple, because Worf never actually was a Klingon warrior either, but neither Worf as a character nor any of the writers ever consider him to be anything other than an honorable Klingon warrior. And Worf has only ever been in Starfleet, he's never actually been a freedom fighter like B'Elanna has, but yet somehow, because he does all the Klingon rituals and practices with his bat'leth regularly, he's somehow more of a warrior than she is?? That's stupid. She's just as brave as he is, don't tell me being an engineer is somehow less honorable than being a tactical officer. They're both Starfleet in the end.

And why is this a recurring theme in her episodes? I totally get that B'Elanna doesn't ever think that she's good enough, but why does the show take that perspective? Why do they constantly have B'Elanna down on herself without anyone ever pointing out to her that she's worthy? Why do they never let her have a moment where she herself realizes that she's worthy? I mean, I get it, actually believing in yourself when you've been taught your whole life that you're not good enough is hard- but you have to at least try to start somewhere. Giving a character trauma just to let them suffer with it forever sucks, and isn't in the spirit of Star Trek. Healing and getting better isn't easy, but it's possible, and Star Trek's whole deal is that getting better is possible, both as a society and as individuals.

I'm just frustrated that B'Elanna is constantly getting slammed by the writers for being too Klingon AND not Klingon enough at the same time. I hate to quote the Barbie movie, but it really feels like a case of women always getting seen as too much and not enough simultaneously. There's no way to win. B'Elanna deserves the fucking world, okay? She's out there holding that ship together with a hyperspanner and a prayer, with less training than a Starfleet engineer, and none of the resources, all while battling with her own childhood trauma just to stay afloat, and still manages to be a kind and caring person underneath her defense mechanism of dry humor and withering sarcasm, and her completely understandable anger at an unjust world that's dealt her some seriously shitty hands. I love her, and everyone should love and appreciate her, and I'm still upset that both the characters on the show and the show itself often don't. I really do think it's the double whammy of white guys not understanding that a) there's no inherent conflict in having a mixed heritage in itself, it's the poor treatment people get from racists because of it that makes it a problem, and b) women can and do have very legitimate reasons for being angry, and expressing it doesn't make them unreasonable or 'too much', nor is it a problem that can be solved by telling them they're too sensitive and should just get over it, which was basically what this ep said in the end. The idea that B'Elanna has always been miserable on Voyager is just straight up untrue, and the idea that she's solely to blame for whatever unhappiness she experiences, considering the way she often gets treated by people around her, is also a really bad faith take. If they want her to be happier and/or nicer, they should treat her better, not just tell her to be nicer or happier.

Anyway, all of this is to say, this ep didn't work for me. She looks cool in the Klingon gear, and they apparently spent a lot of money building a whole barge set, but all I could think about were the many, many issues with how B'Elanna gets treated on the show. Whatever actually happend in this ep (I still don't really even know tbh) did not impact me even half as much as all the other issues I sat churning over in my mind while watching it.

Tl;dr: Another experimental ep that offered no sci-fi storyline whatsoever, instead giving us fantasy dream sequences that were meant to be psychologically illuminating, but ultimately, were muddied by the fact that we were never given any explanation for what B'Elanna experienced beyond 'she died and went to the afterlife for a while', which doesn't work on a sci-fi show.

[quietblueriver]

15 questions for 15 friends

Tagged by @gingerniiiija. Thanks, friend! This was super fun.

Were you named after anyone? I was. In good Southern (US) fashion, I have a double name that incorporates my grandmother's maiden name, which was also my mom's middle name and is now one of my niece's names.

When was the last time you cried? Today. I took one of my dogs to board at the same time that a pup was coming for their last vet visit and watching him surrounded by his crying family while an instrumental version of a Brandi Carlile song played over the vet speakers broke me. Managed to keep it together until I got to the car. Before that, Thursday during Critical Role.

Do you have kids? I do not. I do have wonderful nieces, and being their aunt is one of the best things in my life.

What sports have you played/do you play? I played church basketball and soccer when I was little. As an adult, I've played rugby but I tend toward activities like running, yoga, swimming, and hiking/wandering with my dogs.

Do you use sarcasm? Yes, in a dry humor way. My entire family is dry as hell, so it's a big part of my sense of humor, although I rein it in with strangers so as not to be a tool. I'm typically called a golden retriever gay, but one of the highest compliments I have ever received was one of my oldest friends telling me that Sister Michael from Derry Girls reminded her of me.

First thing you notice about people? I genuinely don't think I have a pattern here. Voice, maybe? Or smile? I do often appreciate and take note of people's style as well, especially shoes.

What is your eye color? Green

Scary movies or happy endings? Whichever has the better queer storyline

Any talents? I come in clutch in the following trivia categories: pop culture (non-reality tv); 90s country music/modern women of country; name that song; US history and politics and/or law; and queer things. Per my nieces, I am very good at the "funny faces" feature on FaceTime, a solid water slide escort, and an acceptable makeshift jungle gym. I have been told that I'm an excellent driver; I enjoy driving and have driven both a passenger van and a U-Haul up most of the East Coast of the US.

Where were you born? A military base in the United States.

What are your hobbies? I love writing, feeding/spending easy time with friends, reading (preference for fiction, poetry, and comics, although I do love some philosophy and theory as well), exploring good food and new places (solo or with friends, my own city or others), live music and theater, playing board games and Switch, watching tv and movies (my oldest niece and I see a movie every time I visit them in person and it brings me great joy), and being silly with my nieces. I'm a lawyer and a law nerd, so I also spend time following SCOTUS and listening to legal/political podcasts.

Do you have any pets? Two dogs, Annie and Buffy, a big doofy retriever mix and a tiny poodle-ish terror respectively.

How tall are you? 5' 8"

Favorite subject in school? Growing up, English/Lit, closely followed by History. At university, I majored in History and Gender & Sexuality Studies.

Dream Job? Obligatory note that I do not dream of labor. But I'm actually currently working on a career shift, so I'm giving this a lot of thought. I'd love to be a writer, journalist, professor, or preacher (last one is more complicated, for probably obvious reasons).

Would love to see answers from anyone who wants to do this! Tagging @korralone, @kasadilla11, @antlereed, and @overnighttosunflowers. Pls forgive me/disregard if you hate this, ha.

[silkspectred]

Double date scenarios for Spike/Buffy and Steve/Tony?

(Or swap or add Dean/Cas if that suits your fancy better)

❤️

oh my god okay i'm not good at this but i'm doing both because now i want to

spuffy + deancas: definitely the two worlds are pretty compatible, i'd say more than marvel (even though vampires are a thing there too of course). dean and buffy would be, like, INSTANTLY BFFS but buffy would also be kinda weirded out by the fact that actual angels exist (what with her having been to heaven - one heavenly dimension anyway, idk - and having seen no angels) but eventually she'd warm up to cas like everyone does lol even though he'd sometimes say something and she'd be like "i have no idea what he's talking about" because that's just how cas is and dean would look at her like "tell me about it girl". spike would be DELIGHTED by every single interaction he gets to have with cas and he'd be super interested in how the grace works. spike would ask dean to let him drive the impala and that would not go well as we all know, but then spike would back off and he'd watch so many movies with dean and they'd get into fights about their fave ships on their fave soaps. they would also start a trashy (affectionate) romance novel club. spike would convince dean to wear rings again.

spuffy + stevetony: i feel like tony would have such a hard time in the beginning surrounded by all these blondes lmfao then tony and spike would get into some terrible verbal battle of wits where they absolutely destroy each other until they both burst out laughing at the exact same time and they'd be besties from then on. steve and buffy would watch all this unfold in complete horror and then they'd be very relieved. spike would not get steve at first (and vice versa) but then he'd see his softer side and warm up to him especially when steve asks him to pose for his drawings because he has that super interesting face, with the cheekbones and everything (maybe buffy is the one who tells steve to ask because she knows spike can be a bit vain lol and it would also remind him of the old days with no photography). buffy and tony would talk about fashion and clothes and he would invite her to all the fancy fashion events like imagine buffy and tony going to the met gala lol. buffy and steve would be sparring partners and spike would touch every. single. thing. in tony's workshop and tony would complain but he actually does not mind one tiny bit and he'd let spike drive all his cars. tony would work on some technology to allow spike to go outside during the day and not burst into flames and spike would be very excited about it and buffy wouldn't think at all about a daytime wedding ceremony in the park. also at some point tony would throw some money at spuffy because these kids are dirt poor (yes tony would call them kids even though spike is very very old and spike pretends to be offended by it but he actually isn't).

these also aren't really double dates but more how they would interact/fit together if these couples were friends

[mariedemedicis]

I know reddit sucks but gahhh, so pissed. someone made a post asking why dawn doesn’t have any friends in the buffy subreddit and saying that they thought an episode or two revolving around dawn and her friends would be interesting and would give dawn something to do in season 7. the comments are filled with ‘ew no’ ‘everyone hates dawn’ ‘that would have sucked’ ‘she’s annoying’ which are stupid enough but i have to single out these two which really fucking made me want to blow my top:

first comment which is completely fine -

> Dawns a lot more liked now but she was wildly unpopular when the show was airing, it would have been insane for them to take the focus from their lead and make it the Dawn show no one was asking for

It would be a cute idea for the odd episode but not to take the focus of the show

okay that’s not even what op was saying, you’re exaggerating 🙄 but whatever not a big deal

now we have the reply to the above comment:

> Agreed. Because I still don’t like Dawn - and I’m 38 now. Lol

and the reply to that:

> And I'm over 10 yrs older than YOU and it's STILL a struggle to like her...I remind myself of her being-a-key trauma; I remind myself she displays typical young teen annoyingness; I remind myself she lost her parents young, etc., etc. Honestly, I exhaust myself trying to be nicer in my thoughts about her LOL 😅����😭

sooo, you’re both old enough to be Dawn’s parent at this point based on your own admission of how old you are (which you literally volunteered and no one asked you) and yet in the almost three decades since the show aired, you haven’t stopped hating a literal child character…okay. I think you’re telling on yourself more than you think.

reminds me of that post I saw yesterday about fandom misogyny and having to make an active choice to care about the female characters. that’s never really been much of any issue for me. unlike the typical person ig 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean I absolutely have my blind spots but I’ve always been drawn to the female characters in a thing and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also gotten more discerning about not really wanting to even start watching or reading something that has very few female characters.

Idk, seeing those two comments enraged me and like yes, I know, I know, it’s not deep, it’s about a fictional character. My instinctive reaction which (please applaud) I did not carry through on was to say ‘get well soon’. But nonetheless, I hope I never turn out to be like these people. I hope I never end up stuck in my thinking from thirty years ago, unable to reconsider, learn, and admit I was wrong, that I was not working to overcome my inherent/societal biases.

I'm not trying to portray myself as some kind of angel. There are plenty of teen/kid characters that I don't particularly like. But you know what I don't do? I don't go onto posts made by people who like those characters and shit on them. When I articulate a criticism, I also manage to say something more intelligent that that they're annoying.

In conclusion, I would like to share this comment which I vibe super hard with (minimal cut because this was long):

> [...] I'm kinda confused cause I always went into the show thinking "Dawn's a cool plot device but you'll be annoyed by her" and then she does like...nothing. Maybe there's some episode she's a real dip I'm missing but otherwise she's a pretty casual character who occasionally pouts on her bed because she never existed and her family occasionally has to forget about her needs to save the world. Even I think Giles has gotten kidnapped equally or more so I really don't understand the "we have to save Dawn ugh" type thing except for the one season where she was actively being hunted. She also steals sometimes, oh no, send her to Guantanimo I guess.

Honestly the way I saw it was she was always capable but never respected and it manifested in bad ways. She was completely willing and ready to sacrifice what was actually a very short, scary existence for all the people she was made to love which is touching, and she's only like 14. She also watches Buffy and effectively takes on a hoard of demons with her. She has utility even without proper combat training but Buffy doesn't want that because she's her sister and she wants her to live a normal, safe life while Dawn realizes she's more in Xander positions where she literally can't and wants her sister and friends to let her be useful. I think they were finally getting there having Xander acknowledge her efforts and letting her taze him to show urgency as well. Unfortunately they didn't start that sooner and kept babysitting Dawn's character, which is realistic considering her age but definitely a detriment to the character. [...]

[piffany666]

One wolf's trash is another vamp's treasure:

Both tank and Sweetheart use they/them pronouns but bright eyes uses he/him and is ftm trans (this is the same in all my bright eyes fics). This also serves as another prequel to the upcoming "ok just one more punk progeny won't hurt" fic I'll be writing.

"Is that the last box?"

"Yeah I think so...oh wait! There's an entire shelf of DVDs in the other room. Could you box that up for me please?"

"Yeah no problem" Sweetheart then left the room.

It was weird for Tank to see all this old stuff again but what was really weird was that it was all still intact. I guess it's not hard to believe that he would keep all of this stuff, they thought, f*king creep...

They thought it would be difficult for them to come back here and take all their stuff they left behind now that Quinn is gone but it was surprisingly fun and nostalgic to see all of it again. They didn't associate any of it with bad memories, with the exception of a couple cloths that they would frequently wear when being fed on.

when they looked through their old CDs, comics and films they didn't see Quinn...they just saw...them.

Sweetheart being there certainly helped a lot, whenever they recognised a CD or jacket they liked that reminded them of Quinn, Sweetheart would be there to ask about it and tell them about how cool it looked or sounded, they were awesome for that.

"Wow this is a LOT of 'buffy the vampire slayer'" Sweetheart came back into the room with the box of DVDs they asked them to get.

"Yeah it was one of my favourite series for a long time..."

A memory of them watching it with Quinn, talking about how much Quinn reminded them of Spike, flashed through their head but it vanished as soon as Sweetheart spoke.

"My favourite was always willow, hey here's an idea! Why don't you keep these and watch it with Sam? I'm sure he'd enjoy it~"

The image of Quinn and them curdled up together watching buffy, covered in dried blood, was replaced with the image of Sam nitpicking at the vampiric representation and a warm, soft smile came across their face.

"Hmm yeah...to be honest I thought I'd just pack all this up and then burn it, burn this whole place but, seeing it again, going through it all with you, it's been nice...would be a shame if it all went to waste"

"So what are you gonna do?"

Tanker smiled

"I think I know somone who needs this stuff more than I do".

They both went outside of the garage, turned into the two-room-house, with all Tanker's old stuff. Tank pulled out their phone.

Tank:

"Hey you want a bunch of old DVDs, CDs clothes and comic that I don't want anymore?"

Bright eyes:

"He'll yeah I do"

Tank:

"Awsome I'll text you the address."

"Meet me here ********"

After 30 minutes or so of waiting, Bright arrived. "I got your text"

Tank smiled at the sight of him.

"Clearly" they joked. It had been some time since the 2 of them hung out together.

They started hanging out almost directly after Sam introduced them. They got along pretty well and had a lot in common also, Tank could tell that he needed it, somone to talk to about their situation that wasn't biased or would judge him.

Obviously Tank didn't hold the way Sam treated bright against him but Tank would listen to him talk about how Sam acts towards him and they wouldn't defend him. Because that's what Bright needed.

Tank had tried to give Sam advice on how to "deal with" Bright's behaviour but they were scared to give advice where it wasn't wanted. So as a result Tank would pick Bright up every now and then from Sam's, or the Solaire household depending on the day, they'd hang out, buy sh*t and talk.

"Soooo what's all this?" Bright gestured to the surrounding boxes of DVDs, movies, clothes and comics.

"This is a bunch of stuff I used to own while I was with Quinn, I haven't been here since I left for Washington, I was gonna come back here and get my stuff back buy there was always the chance he'd be there and my life was not worth the 'tank girl' comics"

Bright chuckled

"But now that that isn't an issue I had Sweetheart help me get it all out"

Bright nodded in understanding "sooo why are you giving it to me? Seems like this stuff means a lot to you"

Tanker sighed

"Well...you're right, this stuff does mean a lot to me but...I was in a bad place when I had all this stuff, it's not that they hold any bed memories, at least none that bother me too much, but I've outgrown it all and I used all this stuff, comics, films, music as a distraction from my situation and I don't need that anymore. Besides I've told you before that you kinda remind me of a younger me right?"

Bright scoffed

"Once or twice"

"Well I figured you'd like to have it...but if you don't want it-"

Bright interrupted

"No no no i-i didn't say that"

Tanker smiled

"Well, you wanna go through it with me?"

Bright nodded.

After a fair amount of time looking through the boxes, listening to the CDs and trying on clothes, Bright had pretty much finished going through all their stuff and was gonna start packing the stuff back up and bring it back to the house of sloaire.

They had been staying there a lot lately and had his own room so he thought this was a good a time as ever to start decorating. But before that, he noticed a red-leather jacket with a spiked collar that ended just under the waist.

"Hey, what's this one's story?" Bright called over to Tanker

Tank looked and saw bright holding the jacket Quinn had got them at the start of there....arrangement.

Up until that point they had worn the jacket that Gabe got them when they were pretty much still a kid but after Quinn got them this jacket they proceeded to wear it more than any other item of clothing, he got mad otherwise, if they were to ever wear a different jacket in front of him.

He'd say something along the lines of "what's wrong with the one I got you?" And wouldn't let it go for the rest of the night. So as a result, they'd wear it around him everytime they saw him and eventually Infront of everyone else...

"That's...... just a grimy old jacket" Tanker thought about just how many times they've spilled blood on that jacket.

"If you want that you might have to wash it a couple times before you put it on"

As Tank said this, Bright began putting on the jacket but stopped after realising the implications of what they were telling him.

Tank asked of bright wanted their help bringing all the boxes into the house but bright said "they got it".

"You OK?" Asked Sweetheart

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm gonna go see sam"

They really ment it too....

For the first time in months....

They were ok

[coraniaid]

For the Top Five thing, Top Five Episodes of Buffy that don't have Faith in them but do make you think about Faith?

Not in any order except chronological.

When She Was Bad

Obviously I don't think the writers had the slightest inkling about Faith when this episode was written -- I very much doubt they'd even started to think about Kendra, honestly -- but in some ways this still feels like a Faith origin episode to me. 

So much of how Buffy behaves in this episode would go on to be echoed by Faith the following season.  The insistence on doing things alone and not relying on others (Buffy's refusal to let any of her friends try to help her mirroring Faith's "I'm on my side, and that's enough"); to refusal to tell the people she cares about them that she cares (Buffy's too-late admission that she missed Angel over the summer mirroring Faith's "Uh, Buffy? ... Nothing"); the conflation of sex and violence (the way Buffy demands Angel tell her if he thinks he could “take” her mirroring Faith asking the same thing of Buffy herself).  Even the sudden feigned interest in Xander (as a way of trying to make the actual object of her affections jealous) fits.

Ted

Not just because it’s the first time the show asks what would happen if a Slayer accidentally killed a person, not just because the detective who investigates the death is the same man who will later investigate Finch’s death in Consequences, not just because Ted himself – with his cultivated wholesome image and the lurking unspoken threat of violence and his love of mini-golf – feels like a foreshadowing of the Mayor, but because this is perhaps the one time we see Buffy feel unsafe in her own home because of something ordinary rather than supernatural.  Which I think is something that Faith could relate to.

(By the way, you should read @explosionshark’s Common Ground if you haven’t already).

Anne

This is the first episode in which I think the Buffy/Faith parallels are probably intentional.  It's very hard for me not to watch Buffy alone in her apartment in LA and not be reminded of Faith in her motel room.  So much of Season 3 is about stressing the importance of Buffy’s family and friends in her life (as shown by their absence in The Wish, or by the Class Protector scene in The Prom, or the end of Graduation Day), with Faith as a version of Buffy who didn’t get those things (hence Faith’s “you get the Watcher, you get the Mom, you get the little Scooby Gang.  What do I get?”; and  Buffy’s earlier “Different circumstances, that could be me.”)  And in Anne we see a Buffy who doesn’t have those things, and who is – until she’s talked out of it, by one of the people she already helped save in Sunnydale – an awful lot like Faith.  (Not the same side of Faith that we saw foreshadowed in When She Was Bad, but still I think an aspect of Faith nonetheless.)

Restless

There are a lot of episodes I wish Faith appeared in, but if I could pick just one it would have to be Restless.  And -- given that Faith is actually talked about quite a lot in Season 4 (in a way she isn't in Season 5 or 6 or even the first half of Season 7) -- I’m inclined to think that she might have if Dushku had been available.  We know that Willow and Xander and Buffy are all still thinking about her, after all, and that they were even before she woke up from her coma. If nothing else, she'd have made a lot more sense as the voice of the First Slayer ("No friends! [...] We are alone") than Tara did.

Dead Things

Season 6 is the only season after her first appearance in which Faith’s never mentioned at all, and also the season where Buffy herself is the most like Faith (crawling out a grave in Bargaining the way Faith did in her dream in This Year’s Girl, struggling with money for the first time in a way that Faith had to have been doing for the first half of Season 3 even though we rarely see it; not able to find meaning or purpose in her life except through supernatural violence).

And arguably that most Faith-like Buffy becomes is in Dead Things, which itself is full of very deliberate nods to both Bad Girls/Consequences and This Year’s Girl/Who Are You?  Both because Buffy (believes that she) kills a person, but also because the way Buffy seems almost relieved to be able to give up and turn herself in to the police echoes the way Faith herself eventually did just that (at Buffy’s prompting) in Sanctuary.

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

Phoenix's Top 10 Scariest Horror Moments

Got inspired by a horror YouTuber breaking down her personal list to do one of my own, and it turned out to be a little harder than I thought. I gave myself a few guidelines and after ruling out things like jump scares, gore, and assault, here's what has made the most lasting impression over the years...

Midnight Mass - the angel looks in through the window

The series at large is horrifying and infuriating and triggering in a thousand different ways (to the point I still haven't managed to watch it twice) but not particularly scary...except for this part, as far as I'm concerned. Sheriff Hassan turns off his son's bedroom light and sees ☝️ that outside the window, and I physically cringed. Glowing eyes in the dark when you don't expect them? Awful. Someone looking in through your window? Somewhere in the top five of things I'm most afraid of. Glowing eyes looking in through your window in the dark when you don't expect them? Fuck right off with that. It makes for a good jump scare, but most importantly, it hit me right in the real world phobia. Sheesh.

The Haunting of Hill House - the man in the hat

Have you ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer? How about the episode "Hush," featuring monsters that are completely mute and move by hovering a few inches off the ground and gliding? If I hadn't seen that, then this might not have gotten under my skin the same way, but as it is, this guy is creepy AF. He doesn't speak. He hovers and glides. Seeing this guy was like seeing the Gentlemen for the first time again, but even worse because I still don't know what his deal is. The shot above is from a sequence of him repeatedly appearing in a crowd, always with his back to us, and the longer we go without him turning around, the more I really really don't want him to turn around. Not that he's scary looking, since we see him a few more times, but the way his face is deliberately kept from us implies that he is...or at least, that him turning around means something (and of course it does. This is a Mike Flanagan project.) Later, when Hugh and Stephen arrive at Hill House for the big showdown, we get this 👇

Again, it's not what's being shown that gets me, but what's implied. Hugh warns Stephen not to look, even as this dude gets up in his face, and it's the tense look in Stephen's eyes that winds me up. Hugh doesn't want him to look, therefore it must be terrible, and Stephen is scared but trusts his father to protect him. Parents trying to protect their children is a recurring theme in Hill House, and it reminds me of when yours truly's mother would warn her not to, say, watch certain movies, and someone didn't listen... Damn, didn't mean to talk so long about this one, so let's move on.

The Babadook - the clothes in the basement

I had to search to find images of the scene I'm talking about. Shortly after reading a book that describes an entity called Mister Babadook, widowed single mother Amelia walks into the basement to see her son has scattered her late husband's belongings across the floor. While cleaning the mess, she looks up to see the clothes hanging on the wall, suggesting someone is standing there. This is nowhere close to being the creepiest part of the movie, but it does the fake-out thing where you initially mistake something mundane for something sinister, and that's exactly what kept me awake the night after I watched this for the first time. A coat and scarf hanging on my bedroom wall looked waaaaaaaaaaaay too much like a person standing there for me to even think about going to sleep. This was further reinforced by the movie, from here on out, making sure you know there is something there every time you see a figure in the background, and given how half of the movie deals with childhood fears, I'm not surprised my imagination went berserk later.

The Ring - the videotape

I hate this tape. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. This is what gave me nightmares after watching this, out of everything else going on in this movie. The soundscape, the film quality, the weird random images, the way some things are static and some things move and none of it looks natural... It has the feel of a nightmare on its own. I haven't watched this movie in at least a decade, but I can still see the way the woman just...falls off the cliff and out of the frame. I DON'T LIKE IT.

The Woman In Black - the final shot

STOP!!! STARING!!! AT!!! ME!!! After spending an hour and a half slowly getting more and more stressed and jumpy, this bitch suddenly making eye contact with me is the last damn straw. I guess technically it's a jump scare, but it lands close enough to "someone is watching me" that it still qualifies (besides, my blog, my rules) and the fact that it left such an impression the first time that I still look away at the end of the movie says plenty.

The Shining - Jack threatens Wendy

Yeah. If you're on this blog, you're gonna hear about this movie. Get used to it. What I can't get over with this scene in particular is how personal it feels. Partially because it's framed that way, with Jack stalking towards us and Wendy backing away, partially because Jack remains one of the more grounded horror movie antagonists we've got (if you don't know someone like him, you know someone who does), and partially because Shelley Duvall, god bless her, is giving it everything she's got. At this point, we're about two hours into the slowest of slow burns and the tension is about to snap, and we've seen Jack be an angry asshole a few times now, but now that he's taken Grady's suggestion to kill his family, this is different. Their progress across the lounge and up the stairs feels more like predator and prey than anything else, poor Wendy is first too scared to talk and then too exhausted to even stand upright, and it doesn't matter how many times I hear her sob that she wants to go back to her room. It will always HURT. Somebody give me the necessary equipment so I can record an audio commentary for this stupid fucking movie, already.

Evil Dead (2013) - Mia tries to get David to leave

Have you ever seen someone look that terrified? I sure haven't. At this point in the story, we've already seen some pretty gnarly shit (though in true Evil Dead spirit, it will get so much worse before it's over) but that wild look in Mia's eyes is the image that pops into my head whenever I think about this movie. Not even stopping at her expression, she's afraid to even say out loud that they should get the fuck outta Dodge. If you want to convince your audience something is scary, you don't show them the scary thing. You show them someone being scared of the scary thing. And buddy, I think you should all pack up and haul ass out of that cabin, because that girl is SCARED.

The Strangers - the man in the mask is already in the house

THAT'S how you do a jump scare. This doesn't even count as a jump scare. No music sting, nothing jumping out, just somebody who absolutely 100% should not be in the shot casually appearing in the background. I still don't know if my sister saw him the same time I did, all I know is that my quiet "oh shit" was immediately followed my her quite loud "OH FUCK" and she didn't feel safe for the rest of the night. I might have had a worse time of it if not for babysitting her afterwards.

Perfect Blue - Virtual Mima

A theme that will always fuck with me is identity, our perception of ourselves vs how others see us, and who our true selves might be at the core of it all, so this movie gets me on its own. This scene, however, is the crux of it. Mima's public lives and her fans' perception of her and her own sense of self have clashed and warped until her reality is so distorted that her idol persona takes on a life of its own. The soundtrack sets my teeth on edge. Idol!Mima is so much brighter than everything else in a movie where saturation and exposure marks shifts between reality, and the way she moves is so dreamy and eerie. She hovers and glides! Of course she creeps me out!

The Evil Dead - Cheryl is possessed

More hovering and gliding. The distorted voice doesn't help. Cheryl's deadite look gets more and more extreme as the movie goes on, but I think she's creepiest here, when she's still recognizably human but something is clearly Very Wrong.™

And now for the ones that came to mind but were only slightly less effective...

Honorable Mentions:

Wolf Creek - the conversation at the campfire

This is the last scene before everything goes to shit, and even if you don't know what kind of movie you're watching, you still know something is off. Alleged good Samaritan Mick Taylor is friendly, sure, but maybe he's too friendly, and our protagonists are stranded with him, and he keeps making off-kilter jokes and that stupid giggle is sinister as fuck. We're genre savvy. We know he's not joking. We're just waiting for the other characters to figure it out.

Sinister - the film reels

The opening reel still stands as one of the most effective ways to set a tone I've seen, and the rest of them don't disappoint. The film quality and the soundscapes would be enough to make them creepy, but then you get into the stalking and killing part and you kinda want to bleach your eyeballs.

Broken: The Movie

Speaking of wanting to bleach your eyeballs... I didn't put this on the list proper because the entire concept is a snuff film and there's graphic torture and whatnot, but I haven't been able to get the image of the waterboard body bag out of my head since I saw it, so that counts for something.

Nosferatu - Orlok watches Ellen

We've established well enough how much I hate the idea of somebody watching me through my window. So while this entire movie is creepy AF, this particular moment was worst of all.

I feel like there was one more I meant to put in honorable mentions, but it's taken me too long to finish this post as it is. Happy Halloween!

[mattholicguilt]

a few hours before i went to see i saw the tv glow i watched the buffy season 1 episode where everybody's nightmares come to life and in that one buffy is pushed into a coffin and buried alive. so i watched that and then i watched i saw the tv glow and i was like whoa........

oh my goddddd ideal. no I love the details. like I'm 90% sure the opening credits font is the same as buffy. and Marco and polo reminded me so much of the musical demon. I forget his name. but just design wise.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Faith & Fate - A Leap Of Faith Fanfiction

As I told Emily (@philhoffman ) I have started writing a Leap Of Faith story, which I have now titled 'Faith & Fate', it takes place in 1993 and in the fictional town of 'Lead Springs, Texas'. And I shall now word dump on you some info:

Major Changes to the plot / Spoilers:

After the ending of 'Leap of Faith' Jonas was dropped off the next town over by the truck driver. The trucker thought Jonas was mad and threw him and his bag out.

Jonas had to call Jane, she and Sheriff Braverman came to get Jonas and they (Jonas and Jane) re-joined the crew, heading off to the next town, eventually reaching Lead Springs, Texas by January 9th of 1992, where 'Faith & Fate' begins.

So basically, I'm using 'Leap of Faith' as a 'movie becomes series' (like Buffy for example) to lead into 'Faith & Fate'

As per usual, if you wish to be tagged or untagged from the story, please let me know, either through asks or DMs

Characters (OCs & From Leap of Faith):

Under cut due to length. These are just the characters I'm certain I'll include as of now (8th June '24)

Jonas Nightengale & Jane Larson

Aka the two least deserving of anyone's trust, the Boss (Jonas) and the ACTUAL boss (Jane). I don't trust either of them, but I trust Larson more because of the butterflies scene. Jane is dating Sheriff Braverman long-distance and Jonas still keeps in touch with Boyd and Marva, though he isn't particularly close to either of them.

Ages: Jonas - 47. Jane - 37

The Choir & The Crew (General)

More than likely underpaid (even though Jonas has a bag of golden watches), but good people. I know several of the crew who put together the gigantic tent have tattoos, so possibly a mix of types of Christians, including maybe some who aren't fully Christians

Ages: Unknown, Approx. 20s-40s mostly

Tiny

First of all, he's a giant, dude's like 6'3. My name for him is Timothy Smalls, so in my head at least Jonas nicknamed him Tiny because of the character of Tiny Tim and it just stuck. He helps with building the tent, collecting money, gathering info, etc.

Age: 44

Matt

(Image credit - @philhoffman / Emily) Matt, my beloved, young dumb and full of… energy, this man has so much energy. My name for him is Matthew Braddock. He helps collect money and gather info, but is also the one who Jane and Hoover (Meat Loaf) send to do random tasks, like an intern.

Age: 25

Hoover

The driver of Jonas' bus, as in the main bus at the front of the pack of 4. His name's Tobias Hoover. His family is my OCs, specifically his 2 brothers and niece. I like his fashion choices, but I know they're not for everyone, also I have been unironically listening to mostly Meat Loaf songs while writing these characters.

Age: 43

(OC) Jedidiah 'Jed/Bubba' Hoover

Eldest brother, and the only Hoover brother to have kids, big (6'2") cuddly papa bear, but seriously don't come near his daughter, he protects her like she's a miracle and her mother / Jed's wife died when Cai was very young.

Age: 46

(OC) Micaiah 'Cai' Hoover

Jed's daughter, Cai's been raised by practically just men, her family has always been in Lead Springs, her uncle Tobias was the only one who left. She suffers with CIDP, which means she's often in a wheelchair but manages as well as she can to be independent. She doesn't work, not due to disability but rather due to lack of jobs, as well as the mistreatment she receives in Lead Springs.

Age: 22 (turns 23 within the first few chapters)

(OC) Zechariah 'Ari' Hoover

Tobi and Jed's younger brother, and Cai's uncle. Zechariah goes by Ari, which can be confusing. He lives with Jed and Cai, acting as a second father to Cai while working with Jed at the town's diner. Most days he regrets letting Tobias leave, but has to remind himself that his brother has his own life.

Age: 40

(OC) Reverend B.J Deacon

The young, new Episcopal church reverend/deacon, fresh faced and just out of seminary school. He's very new to actually leading a church and very inexperienced, hoping to learn from Jonas how to engage people with their faith.

Age: 22 (turns 23 within the first few chapters)