#watch all my dreams be crushed on Tuesdays episode LOL

[alderaanplacesss]

Writing a fic based on like one episode of tv got me feelin’ like

And then my author notes are like “idk you guys get it right????”

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.

Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.

Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).

Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!

Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story.  [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).

In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.

I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p

I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!

(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)

[probabltbry]

Carole & Tuesday [Rants/My Opinion/Controversy]

THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE, PLEASE SKIM IT AT LEAST (T.T).

This is very different than what I usually post and I want to begin by saying that I may not have all of the facts! I am basing this on what I’ve seen other people say on this site (and others) and fact checking. I am open to learning and understanding more, and I will read any and all comments (if this post gets any lol). If this changes anything, I am making this post through the lense of a black bisexual female, so my view on things may be different. :)

I try to keep this spoiler free in general, but since I’m going to talk about characters and episodes that have released that’s a little impossible, so I will warn you if there are any spoilers in the section I discuss. I want people who haven’t seen the anime to get a taste of what it is! 

In this long post I will touch on the following; LGBT+ representation, POC representation, exposure of the anime(streaming and where to find it), the community/fandom of C&T, Cybelle????!!, and other characters. Remember- this is my opinion and that is always subject to change.

For those of you who don’t know about Carole & Tuesday, it’s a Spring 2019 anime directed by Shinichiro Watanbe in association with the popular Bones studio. Shinichiro is well known for his other successful series such as Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloos and Space Dandy and Bones studio has produced many popular animes like Noragami, Soul Eater and Ouran High School Host Club, etc. [Fun fact, Cowboy Bebop and Carole & Tuesday are said to be set in the same universe and I died when I heard this.]

The plot of Carole & Tuesday, as provided by wiki is:

Set in the future on a partially terraformed Mars, teenager Tuesday Simmons runs away from her posh lifestyle as the daughter of a politician and makes her way to the populous Alba City to pursue her dream of being a musician with just a suitcase and her Gibsonacoustic guitar. On her first day in the city, she crosses paths with Carole Stanley, another aspiring musician who plays the piano, and the two decide to team up as a singer-songwriter duo under the name Carole & Tuesday.

Where can I find this? Why haven’t I heard of it?

I actually discovered Carole & Tuesday through google since I was looking at new and upcoming animes for the Spring and Summer of 2019. Sadly, the website I used show that Carole & Tuesday was an anime many people weren’t looking forward too- but that was only a handful of votes. Personally, I had been super ecstatic since, just from the promo poster, I assumed Carole and Tuesday would possibly be a couple, there’s a person of color as a main protaganist, and they’re both SUPER CUTE. This all made me happy beyond words. 

As of now, Carole & Tuesday should only be available on Japan Netflix. Japanese viewers tend to prefer weekly released episodes whereas Americans prefer to binge shows. I am assuming that once the show has completed airing in Japan (there are going to be 24 episodes) it will appear on other Netflixs around the world. 

I believe that’s why the promo for it has been severely lacking and the fanbase appears non-existant. The fandom is there, if you squint (which is why I’m surprised there’s already controversy). The fact that I had to look through a list on an unknown website and scroll to the bottom to find this anime is very showing of how unknown this anime is.

I also saw a post comparing Yuri!!! On Ice to Carole & Tuesday and I personally believe that OP took the wrong approach. I forgot the posters name (I will edit and tag if I find it again) but the post said something along theses lines; YOI is so popular because it’s a mlm show whereas C&T isn’t nearly as popular because it’s a wlw relationship with poc. 

While this can prove to be true in the future, there are some major differences that were overlooked. I was into the YOI hype when it was first released but it didn’t truly become popular until Yuri and Viktor were canon and everyone was speculating whether it was a kiss or a hug, etc. Yuri!!! On Ice is also a relationship with a person of color, Yuri, and the anime was also supported by Crunchyroll, a major streaming service for Americans/others. It has had two years to become popular, grow and this is one of the very few animes that had positive lgbt+ representation since the relationship grew just as normally as any other type of relationship. It also wasn’t labeled a yaoi/shounen ai (though this sadly didn’t stop the fetishization of the characters and No.6 did it first but let’s move on-). It felt like a big step in the anime lgbt+ community and it won’t be forgotten! 

Carole & Tuesday has just started off! Not much promotion is being shown in other countries outside of Japan and the first episode premiered in early April this year. I believe it’s harsh to compare C&T to such a popular anime when it’s literally just begun. It’s also exclusively on Netflix (besides pirating sites) so there is a little foreseeable loss since it won’t be available on Crunchyroll. But despite that I know there’s hope! Though mlm couples tend to be more popularly viewed, and any pairing that doesn’t have completely white/asian/white-presenting people in the relationship they tend to not garner much interests, but I don’t think C&T will fall into that pit. There’s simply not much promotion of it yet but it still has defied odds and has a fanbase with people from many different countries already!

Though I do see the OP’s point and concerns and they have facts on their side (look at fandometrics popular characters/couples, they’re mostly male) I think it’s too soon to point fingers.

Just imagine how large it’ll get when it has proper streaming (because many people do choose not to pirate in order to directly support the anime and it’s creators!). I think this is where our patience comes into play because if you have seen Carole & Tuesday already, you are most likely not using the most legal means. We are all early to the party.

LGBT+ and POC Representation (spoilers in part of this section, read first line):

I will say this, and this will only be the only spoiler free line, I think it has decent lgbt+ representation and that there’s more to unfold. If you’re going to watch exclusively for lgbt+ representation then I don’t think you will be too disappointed but the anime has a ways to go before it’s finished so my opinion can change.

But the most recent episodes and commentary has caused a ripple in viewers beliefs.

Anne and Marie 

I literally adored when Marie kissed Anne whilst Carole and Tuesday sat there blushing. Then, Marie was careful to ask if either of them had a boyfriend or girlfriend not assuming C or T’s sexualities at all. This happened on in an early episode so this left me to believe that more casual representation was on the way!

Cybelle

This was where it began to become uncomfortable for me and a few others. I actually couldn’t figure out whether Cybelle was a female, male or left to be ambiguous intentional (I just concluded she was non-binary until they used she/her pronouns). But many people concluded that since it was clear Cybelle was a female with an infatuation (not a crush, an infatuation) on Tuesday people simply labeled her as lesbian. A few are labeling her interactions with Tuesday and Carole as a harmful and negative commonly used trope when involving wlw characters.

Cybelle was being creepy and aggressive towards Tuesday, constantly touching her abruptly and without consent and going as far as biting Tuesday’s neck and leaving a mark. Actions like these feed into the trope that is commonly used in anime/television shows and it actually demeans real lesbian couples. It’s like a scapegoat; saying ‘here’s your rep’ but it’s very, very, very bad rep.

The controversy comes in since there are people defending Cybelle’s actions because she’s a girl, and people are literally calling others ‘homophobic’ because they choose not to ship Cybelle and Tuesday despite their ‘canon interactions’ but they still want Carole and Tuesday to become a couple.

My personal stance is that none of Cybelle’s actions were consensual and I will never want her and Tuesday to become a couple. I think the creators fed into a bad trope (I’m not sure if intentionally or not), and the real only development we got from this was Tuesday learning to stick up for herself. I also think that Cybelle is simply a crazed fan who is not in a sound mental state and that her gender may not necessarily play into this; maybe she was meant to just be an aggressive fan that overstepped boundaries and made people uncomfortable and just happened to be female. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be representation and should not be labeled as such.

But these are just thoughts!

Mermaid Sisters - Galatic Mermaid  

I was personally pleased that the Mermaid Sisters blatantly said they weren’t male or female, just like mermaids aren’t fish or human. Non-binary representation is my fucking jam!

But there are worries that this group was used as a comedic affect due to the way the characters were dressed and how they presented themselves, and the fact that they were POC who were interrupted, immediately lost and were shown to be aggressive directly after. 

When I first viewed this I was more focused on the fact that they were non-binary, had amazing voices and had sang a song that was clearly not the most appropriate for Mars Brightest. Now I understand that how there were presented can be damaging and as a person of color, I am disappointed but I’m still conflicted. This scene caused people to ‘cancel’ the show and they’re trying to discourage others to not view it but I want to watch until the very end.

Overall I am super happy with the POC representation in the show! Especially since various races and skin tones are show quite frequently.

Dahlia

The same can be said about Dahlia. People feared the a negative trope of transgender females was being displayed though it’s stated that Dahlia is currently male but their sex varies from time to time, on the official website!

The Community/Fandom

Honestly besides the few odd balls who stir the pot and clearly use harsh words when not needed, the fandom is chill. The artworks are sooo cute and a little scarce but you can find Carole and Tuesday content here, on twitter, on YouTube, Deviantart- literally where you would find any other fanbase! Most people are friendly and (NEED) are willing to talk with you! If you’re still hesitant to watch just message someone who constantly tags Carole & Tuesday because I assure, they’re dying to rant to someone about what goes on lol.

Here’s my last little tid bit on whether or not to watch!

You should watch this show because you want to. Don’t do it because someone else keeps saying you have to because it has representation, or because they think Pyotr is hot or whatever. Of course I am the biggest hoe for Carole & Tuesday and if someone wants a new anime to watch I will suggest this one!! But!! Watching a show just because you feel you have to and you have no genuine interests will dull the experience! You should watch and support the show if it makes you laugh, feel love and genuine enjoyment. That’s the point of anime and that is definitely the point of Carole & Tuesday. 

I have already seen so many people drop the show because they were forced into it and promised things that weren’t delivered (it’s still early on) and then they bad mouth the anime. If you want to start watching when there’s more hype and a fandom, then wait!! If you’re unsure and want more convincing, message me!! If this doesn’t seem like this anime suits your tastes and, then why did you read this far (kidding)?!!! Regardless, I just want everyone to have a good experience when watching so we can have more good vibes all around.

I would definitely give this anime a shot if you love music, beautiful voices, dancing, poc/lgbt+ rep, suspense and just amazing animation all around, though! It’s has a baby fandom but it’s surely going to grow and I can’t wait to see the outcome of the anime and what becomes of our lovely Carole and Tuesday! <3 

I’m also in love with Roddy, just look at him~ | I’m still not super fond of Angela but I am wishing her the best to achieve happiness in the end!

[hoshyeoms]

85 Statements

I was tagged

 by @sunkissedjae, thank you friend!!! ((((: 

THE LAST

1. drink: apple juice  2. phone call: joshua called me this morning cause my schedule was wrong and i was late for work *insert upside down smiley emoji* i was so frckn mad that i was late. i’m always 20 minutes early!  3. text message: if you count snapchat text, it was evie. if not, it was my family group chat lol  4. song you listen to: mercy - kanye  5. time you cried: last tuesday when i fell out of the kayak and lost my glasses in the river 6. dated someone twice: ...never dated anyone lol  7. kissed someone and regretted it: yee, but they were trashy boys and i should have never gotten involved in the first place 8. been cheated on: geez, i’d hope not with how exciting my dating life is 9. lost someone special: yeah, but they’re looking over me and that’s what matters most. they’re not lost when they become something other than alive, simply just transcendent.  10. been depressed: unfortunately, yes, but i’ve become a lot better since i moved out of mom’s house. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i’m oddly super conscious when i get drunk, so i know when to stop and thankfully have not thrown up

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. periwinkle  13. dodie yellow 14. green 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: i have!  16. fallen out of love: i mean i stopped loving a lot of artists i liked cause i realized they had/have morals that don’t better them as musicians, but make their image something that holds materialistic things higher than the passion of the craft.  17. laughed until you cried: literally anytime i think of the “joutjout” meme which is like everyday  18. found out someone was talking about you: nah, but like i have a very small circle of friends and we all support each other. we don’t have time for petty shit like that.  19. met someone who changed you: kinda, more they showed me why i don’t need to change. they opened my eyes to the confidence i never had, and showed me that my weird and quirky traits i hide myself behind only make me shine.   20. found out who your friends are: sure lol  21. kissed someone on your facebook list: i don’t even talk to more than 2 people on my facebook list lol 

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: yo last time i was on facebook was around when alex and i went to california, it’s all people from my hometown and it’s pretty toxic 23. do you have any pets: 2 corgis named Max (my snuggle bug) and Minnie! I really want a cat, but my grandma is allergic and we can’t have more than 2 animals in our neighborhood assoc. 24. do you want to change your name: when i’m at work yeah lol, i’ve met 2 people with my name but i see like 12 dogs a week with my name. literally i share a name with more dogs than people and it trips me up some days.  25. what did you do for your last birthday: dad and i went to a korean bbq place (and i suffered a v bad haircut), but then the week after alex and i went to disneyland after con and celebrated there too (which was frckn amazing we met Traci Hines) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching dream high 2  28. name something you can’t wait for: Noon saturday (but i’m also super anxious, so i’m sure you’ll see a post or smthn of me yelling about my feelings) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: in July (which isn’t that bad because our relationship isn’t the best. i love her, but loving her is hard when she treated me so poorly for so long) 31. what are you listening to right now: Power - Kanye (it’s just a ye playlist on spotify for now)  32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah, he was a navy captain my mom knew. he’s in a betty white movie  33. something that is getting on your nerves: pretty much nothing, my anxiety but that’ll go down in a few.  34. most visited website: youtube 35. hair colour: brownish auburny color 36. long or short hair: it’s longer than it was a few months ago 37. do you have a crush on someone: not really, i don’t leave my house often and i don’t really find myself attracted to many people. maybe one day i guess 38. what do you like about yourself: my sense of humor, it’s slightly twisted but my family runs on puns so i’m always joking around. i do also like my smile, it’s a bit crooked but it makes my face brighter and happier.  40. blood type: O positive, I used to donate twice a year until college, i ate so poorly i got an iron deficiency and can’t donate anymore :(  41. nickname: chlo, chipotle, joshua calls me chole cause work spelled my name wrong on my clock in badge, evie calls me sunshine, dad and i have a joke that i call him jedi master and he calls me padawan, idk people just calls me names tbh. my grandparents call me by my cousin’s name sometimes, once they called the dog my name.  42. relationship status: single, but like not worried about it  43. zodiac: gemini 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: i don’t watch much tv, but i do really like game of thrones and rick and morty. those are really the only 2 i keep up with, my grandma and i watch “this is us” together cause it’s how we spend time together. When christmas comes around, I watch the hallmark channel with her cause they always play my favorite christmas movie!  46. tattoos: just one on my upper inner left arm, i was supposed to get another one but i used the money to buy a new purse since i’ve had the same one since 7th grade and it’s super dirty and worn out.  47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: not that i know of

50. sport: i played soccer in middle and part of high school, i don’t really keep up with sports except detroit soccer over the summer. 

51. vacation: being cliche, but i want to eat pray love w a backpack all around the world, but if i do end up in school again, i hope to get admitted in the language program and get to travel abroad to work on translating and teaching alongside multiple linguists.  52. pair of trainers: pumas

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: nothing, but i just had a few clementines  54. drinking: water  55. I’m about to: watch another episode of dream high 2, maybe go to sleep, bre was right i get super sad late at night and shouldn’t put myself through that 56. waiting for: noon saturday  57. want: to go to a park and just sit outside. one perk of college was that i could go sit outside at this time and it be okay (except it was humid af how did i live in georgia for 18 years). Now I can’t go outside or walk around at this time without being scolded, and all I want to do is just sit under the stars or just enjoy the night air.  58. get married: hopefully one day, i went to planned parenthood the other day and they asked me when i wanted to get married, i said 26 cause hopefully by then i’ll be more stable and with someone, but like i have this feeling that i will be by myself forever, or end up in a very toxic marriage like my mom. I lived my whole life being called ugly up until now, and now i just feel like the people suddenly confessing to me only want to use me.  59. career: I work in a grooming salon now and could one day get an offer to go to grooming academy, but if I could get back into psychology I would, I also really want to get into linguistics and just kinda travel using my degree to do odd jobs in different places. Experience the cultures of different places by meeting and interacting with the people those places have to offer. 

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: depends who is giving what, a hug is warmth while a kiss can be hunger.  61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: i prefer tall, but i am short  63. older or younger: either or as long as there is nothing but 100% commitment 64. nice arms or nice stomach: why does that matter when i’m getting cuddles and love?  65. hook up or relationship: relationship, more meaningful  66. troublemaker or hesitant: i say this with a clear head but a troublemaker. being hesitant can really hold you back in this world, and will make you miss many chances you might not get again. 

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: yes, but i’m more of a wine girl  69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes :(((  70. turned someone down: ye, but that was because he had told me prior he was using me for sex  71. sex on the first date: guess who still has the magic v card  72. broken someone’s heart: i hope not  73. had your heart broken: uh no?  74. been arrested: no, my step dad is a cop he would personally start ww3 if i was 75. cried when someone died: kinda yeah  76. fallen for a friend: yes? but like he’s my best friend now and those feelings went away very fast

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: if i didn’t, who would?  78. miracles: kinda yeah 79. love at first sight: no, but someone could prove me wrong one day 80. santa claus: HoHoNO

81. kiss on the first date: if they treated me right and they date went well, there is no harm in a kiss on the first date 82. angels: i do 

OTHER

84. eye colour: i always thought they were hazel, but they are green with a ring of browny/amber in the center. in the right light and when i’m sleepy, they’re grey it’s p cool  85. favourite movie: i watch a lot of movies, but i did really like moana.

i tag: @parkjinyoungaf (i forgot the url annie i was like WHERE IS SHE OH NO), @doublebam1a @thekoreanguys (i hope you’re okay i’m v worried about you :(( )

[nerdhorde]

🌻 questions tag 🌻

I was tagged by the lovely @fsstudies to answer all of these questions. Thank you very much! I shall attempt to make myself look interesting, haha. 

I tag @affinityscience @hayley-studies @my-little-studyblr @georgestudies @raven-studies. I don’t talk to very many people on here so you have been chosen at random (mostly). If you don’t wanna do it, then ofc that’s chill. I also tag anyone who sees this n kind of fancies doing it. Go wild, kiddo. 

LAST:

1. Drink: water, and before that, tea. 

2. Phone call: probably my best friend

3. Text message: well, the last time I messaged someone was on facebook (my friend from uni), but the last time I properly texted someone it was probably my best friend, again.

4. Song you listened to: la devotee - p!atd

5. Time you cried: watching a film. I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. I cry a lot, tbf. 

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t think I regret any of them, no. Well, I’ve kissed someone and regretted it months later if that counts. 

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes, I suppose so. 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes. All of the time. My stomach is very bad at handling alcohol, so tactical chunders are usually the way to go. I’ve never been absolutely plastered though, and vomiting not by choice; I’ve usually always chosen when I’m going to throw up (usually to make myself feel better/avoid a hangover). 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes, I started university last September so I made a fair few. 

16. Fallen out of love: not in the romantic sense, no. 

17. Laughed until you cried: yes, a week ago, actually. 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh lord, yes, haha. It’s been the cause of all my problems, this past month or so. 

19. Met someone who changed you: no.

20. Found out who your friends are: most bloody definitely!

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes, I think I did. I regret it now, haha. 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The vast majority of them I’d say. Most of them are people I went to school with, and if I didn’t go to school with them, they’re people I’ve met drunk on a night out. There’s only a handful on there who I’ve not met. 

23. Do you have any pets: yes, we have a black labrador, called Breeze. 

24. Do you want to change your name: I’ve never really been fond of my name, it was very popular the year I was born so I always find a lot of people my age called Sophie. If I were to change my name I’d change my last name. I’d make up something completely new so I wasn’t associated with either side of my family. 

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to see Morrissey live in Manchester with my best friend, that was a brilliant weekend, one of the best experiences of my life. And with my family I think we went out for a meal? It was so long ago now I can’t even remember properly, haha. 

26. What time did you wake up: today it was 6am, because I’ve got to travel 180 miles North to move some of my stuff in to my new uni house. Usually I’m very bad at getting out of bed before midday, but if I’ve got stuff to do I can wake up any time.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably watching old Whose Line Is It Anyway  episodes. The UK ones, of course. 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: going back to university in September, though I’m going to miss my best friend desperately. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I saw her 8 hours ago, I think? Just before she went to bed. 

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: my anxiety (lol, #deep). Deep down I know I’m supposed to be a very extroverted person, but it prevents me from being that. 

31. What are you listening to right now: other than the noisy sodding birds outside my window? Nothing, lmao. 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes? I knew two guys called Tom in middle school. 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: probably one of my ex-friends (that sounds dramatic af). She’s been very irritating recently and I wish she’d just stop being such a child and leave me the hell alone. 

34. Most visited websites: twitter, facebook, tumblr, youtube. The usual suspects, haha. 

35. Mole/s: yes. Lots. According to my mum they’re a sign of strength. That might well be bollocks, but who knows. 

36. Mark/s: I’ve got a scar on my right eyebrow from when I ran into the corner of a wooden table as a child. I used to get called “Sophie Potter”, Lords knows why cos it ain’t bloody lightning shaped. 

37. Childhood dream: when I was 5, probably just owning a tractor would be enough for me (a Ford one, because they’re blue); when I got a bit older I wanted to be an author, or an illustrator, or an author who illustrated her own books. 

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: long. I only had it cut for the first time in 2 years a few months ago. It was ridiculously long then. 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no, not a crush. That’s the wrong word.

41. What do you like about yourself: I actually quite like my appearance nowadays. I’m very proud of my intelligence, my knowledge of useless facts, my sarcasm, how funny I can be, and my art.

42. Piercings: ear lobes and my nose. I’d love to get more done. 

43. Blood type: I have absolutely no idea, not even my own mother knows. 

44. Nickname: I don’t have one. Some people have attempted to call me “Soph” in the past and I’ve quickly shot them down, only my dad gets to call me that and even then I don’t like it, haha. Occasionally I’ve been called by my last name, and some jokes have been made out of my last name but nothing’s ever really stuck. 

45. Relationship status: single… as a pringle..?

46. Zodiac: I don’t know much about this. I know I’m a Leo… 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: Doctor Who, TLOG, anything Reece Shearsmith & Steve Pemberton write, Green Wing (recently), House, Lie To Me… There’s loads more but I can’t list them all, I’d be here all day. 

49. Tattoos: I have a tattoo of some planets and stars over a mountain on my inside left wrist. I got it about a year ago. I want lots more!

50. Right or left hand: Right. Though weirdly I started out life left-handed and then switched of my own accord when I was about 5. Unfortunately that doesn’t make me ambidextrous though, dammit. 

51. Surgery: twice. Had my tonsils removed as a kid, and then I used to be tongue-tied so I had to have that sorted a few years after. 

52. Hair dyed in different colour: not yet. I’m planning on it soon though, my hair’s a little drab at the moment. 

53. Sport: I used to love football (soccer) as a kid and I was fairly good at it, mostly because I was vicious, and at school I was on various sports teams but nowadays I rarely do any. 

54. blackpink in your area???? I’ve no idea what this means, so I’m gonna skim past it. 

55. Vacation: as a family we’ve been to Greece together (Kos, specifically) and it was wonderful, and we’ve been caravanning on the coast a few times. We haven’t been on holiday in years, but we’re all going to Jersey next month, unfortunately for some not good reasons. 

56. Pair of trainers: two pairs of grey converse, one very new, one very tatty. And a pair of grey generic trainers for the gym (I like grey, apparently)

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: mashed potato, gravy, pie, cheesy chips, my mum’s roast dinners, my grandma’s baking. 

58. Drinking: tea, always. I bloody love tea, not that I’m upholding a national stereotype there, but oh well. Wine is lovely, but vodka is my absolute favourite when it comes to alcohol. Or gin, though I can’t handle it very well. Tequila shots, yes, jaeger bombs, always. 

59. I’m about to: get dressed and go to my grandma’s for an hour before we drive up North to my new house

60. (there is no 60, this is odd)

61. Waiting for: my exam to be over (it’s on Tuesday, send help). 

62. Want: to be at the pub with my friends, and a night out at Welly (the best club ever, pop punk and indie trash on a loop).

63. Get married: I doubt it. I’m not interested in marriage really. 

64. Career: my dream career would be artist. Quite possibly a portrait artist. But I know that’s not exactly a safe bet, so I’ll save that until I’m financially stable. I’m doing a chemistry degree at the moment, so I suppose I’ll get a job using that. In research, maybe. 

65. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person. Hugs from everyone. Kisses are also wonderful too, though. 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes. 

67. Shorter or taller: neither. I’m tall compared to most of my friends, but not too tall that I can’t get away with wearing heels, so I’ll stick to where I’m at, cheers. 

68. Older or younger: younger I think. I miss being so carefree. 

(dammit why is there no 69 ffs)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: on me? Stomach probably. But both I think. My arms are odd, I’d like to edit them a little. 

71. Sensitive or loud: both. Loud, naturally, I think. Sensitive not entirely out of choice. 

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up. I think I have commitment issues, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone. 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: depends. Mostly troublemaker. If I’m hesitant it’s only usually for a few seconds before I go “fuck it” and do it anyway. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: yes. Many a time. 

75. Drank hard liquor: yes. It’s lovely. 

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:  nope, never, thank god. Let’s hope this continues. 

77. Turned someone down: yes, very gently. 

78. Sex on the first date:  I don’t think you could call it a date, but I’ve had sex with someone the first night I’ve met them? If that counts?

79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so, no. Not that I’m aware of anyway.

80. Had your heart broken: no.

81. Been arrested: never. 

82. Cried when someone died: yes, of course. 

83. Fallen for a friend: no. Not really. I had a brief crush on a friend, but it didn’t last. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: sometimes yes, sometimes no. I can be very arrogant depending on my mood, so in those moments I do, yes. In the more anxious ones, definitely not. 

85. Miracles: no way

86. Love at first sight: no, I think it’s unrealistic. Lust at first sight, certainly, but not love. 

87. Santa Claus: hahah wait why is this even up for debate?? Duh. 

88. Kiss on the first date:  yeah, sure, why not, if I liked the person enough I certainly wouldn’t be averse to it. 

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Amy

91. Eye color: brown

91. Favorite movie: reservoir dogs, pulp fiction, anything tarantino, leon: the professional, so many of them