#wasnt born yesterday now was i…

[randombubblegum]

i just couldn't imagine enjoying the latest songs over the earlier stuff. like you can feel the emotionlessness. but hey bc of parx and you i have now listened to hunny, and i stg saturday night is a bit cheesy but it has more soul that anything from parx5.

theres a quote from pete wentz, sometime from like 2005, about how kids can smell bullshit and fakes and reject it and thats exactly what this is lol. theres no heart in parx5, it is designed in a cowriters studio to attempt to ride the ~pop punk revival wave~ in the most blatant cashgrab ever. i do love that hunny song (and all hunny songs tbh), just as an example, bc jason yarger isnt TRYING to sell out!!! hes not fine-tuning his lyrics to fit the fucking tiktok algorithm hes just writing what he feels and thinks sounds good!!!!

i truly cannot, CANNOT understand anyone TRULY, ACTUALLY, NOT JUST SAYING IT TO SUCK AWSTENS ASS ON TWITTER FOR A LIKE OR RETWEET thinking that “we can fuck about it if you want thats all we ever do anymore i dont likw your attitude blah blah” shit is anywhere near the same caliber as. like. literally any fucking lyric off anything pre-fandom. be fucking fr

[mira0000000-blog]

Concepts for a Surgamy fankid named Nerine, created in a fit of Surgamy thoughts at 6am and I cant draw him again..So i think im gonna abandon him for a while haha.. sth

[rivilu]

I have scientifically created the most mutually uncomfortable dynamic in my fucked up little lab that the world has ever seen. I'm being arrested for unsound character keeping practices

[lupismaris]

So technically speaking the oldest son in our family should be named after an eldest son of the direct generations before per Italian American tradition (so one of the parents or grand parents/uncles) in this case but the eldest son died before my father got to meet him and thus the technical eldest son in our family was named after our great grandfather instead and not called Sonny as is tradition (he and my father refuse to admit that he is no longer the eldest son because i now exist)

i am tho realizing that if my Italian grandfather (god rest ya Joe) who half raised me and loved me deeply were still alive to be a part of my transition and were as supportive as i hope he would be, especially in spite of my father failing in the role of being a supportive father, he would no doubt see that our family lacks a Sonny of its own, bemoan the neglect of tradition, and anoint me the new Sonny, the true eldest son

[fortunately-bi]

Uh oh

[clam-fest]

being a fan of a beautiful lesbian couple in a nintendo game is the biggest cross to bear I stg. ppl will seriously say shit like "all you pearlina fans shove them down our face and pretend it's the only part of their characters" and then pearlina fans will go "pearl is 4'10" because she was electrocuted as a child"

[fl4k-phd]

"Now I could be wrong, but if I remember correctly, and I could be wrong, the little tag there- Im pretty sure, but I could be wrong- goes around the toy. But I could be wrong." - remarks made to a particularly holier than thou boss that were 100% correct

[onicole]

hello i need to share this everywhere

yesterday i was thinking about some elemental alliance stuff and . wasnt coles grandpa manipulated by chen to fight alongside him on the serpentine war(i think there were smth with the hypnobrai too but i am ignoring this because i want him to change sides completly in that au …) ???? I AM GOING INSANE WITH THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION.

hear me out, an au where lilly ends up being raised within the anacondrai cult, and so is cole after he was born.

like, in my au lilly was 3 during the serpentine war, and like she prob had to stay with her mother while her dad was fighting, at some point, her mother was killed and chen used this as an opportunity to manipulate coles grandpa ? making somehow he believe that the elemental alliance were the bad ones idk i need to think about that part still, but anyways, after the war, in this scenario, coles grandpa would also be banished to chens island and would join the cult(and he brought lilly with him) and then bla bla bla he eventually dies bla bla i was thinking about making lou a part of the cult too, he just operates in ninjago city like the chen noodles, anyways, bla bla bla cole would be born, and just like lilly, he would grow up in the cult

lilly would have a high role like clouses, and for her death, i thought about making her learn dark magic at some point, and this affected her body in negative ways(and she was already sick) so this eventually led up to her death

dont u guys see the potential of this au aswell or am i just obsessed with the brookstone family …

LIKE SKYLOR AND COLE WOULD GROW UP TOGETHWRT

THEY WOULD BE BESTIES !!

imagine an scenario of them trying to escape the cult or smth together that would be so cool💔💔 i need them to have a sibling relationship in that au

anyways, i thinkq that i will make chen go like "ok so cole i need u to infiltrate the ninja for x reason" and hws like "ok" AND GARMADON WOULD PROB SUSPECT wu would too at the start but then he would be like nahhh hes my son now and garm wluld be like "bro isnt his grandpa or smth that dude that went against us"

I CANT STOP THIWNKING ABOUT THWY AU

anyways look at them(they are completly traumatized but they dont know it yet)

is this au good or i am just delusional … DOES THIS ALL MAKES ANY SENSE???? anyways them

[thickness-protection-program]

okay im not either of the last 2 anons but i am a trans guy with (not tryna brag here or anything) a decent amt of bottom growth from being on t for 8 yrs exactly as of yesterday. i was never rly taught anything abt dick care since i wasnt born w one but im essentially uncircumcised since the clitoral hood becomes foreskin from t growth. now i wonder should tdick be moisturized? also if ur uncut (sorry if this is weird) do u have any advice abt uncut dick care in general? i cant rly ask any cis male friends or family i know b/c as far as i know theyre all circumcised

I wanna start off by saying I'm just goofin and gaffin over here so don't take anything I'm saying too seriously. If you don't moisturize your pp it's not a big deal lol. I'm just a huge advocate for moisturizing bc most of these people don't even lotion their own face but I know natural body oils will work generally just fine in due time. Tdick is also skin so I would say lotion can't hurt but again it's not a big deal if you don't lol. But since I don't have one myself I dunno how much I can appropriately speak on it

As for me I'm cut but my shit half way grew back so I'm an in betweener. Moisturizing isn't even the biggest issue it's just make sure y'all wash y'all's dicks good! Pull that skin back and wash everything underneath. Get in the nooks and crannies!

[taehyungfirst]

Why do you always claim that people who are saying sth that you don't like are shippers??

My bias is tae, i don't ship any real life people.

Its still possible for me think both, the article and the pic isnt good and also think one thing is worse than the other. i think taehyung Posting this picture wasnt good (of course he doesnt deserve the hate he gets) and fans should be able to voice their opinion.

The artictle is stupid and promots toxic stereotypes, it a stupid article from a company which also should be called out.

but looking at the current situation, one topic is more urgent.

You accept asks, maybe try to discussing them and don't just dismiss every opinion you don't like as shipper.

Taehyung is not your bias anon why do you guys think I was born yesterday? 😭

I didn’t make one post about that article, I replied to TWO (2) asks and you came on here saying that the article was bothering me more than the picture, when I’ve been discussing about the picture, for your information, for 4 days straight now. You clearly are bothered by the fact that I think that article was bullshit and it’s not my fault you’ve been spoon fed company agendas, take that out with blogs who may believe you, I’m the wrong one 😴

And I will repeat it, bringing up that picture because you don’t know how to cope with the whole fandom calling your fantasies weird is insensitive and embarrassing, not the activist act you think it is.

[murcielagatito]

so i watched blue beetle yesterday and i wanted to review it with the article about latino representation in media in mind but honestly i just want to talk about the background specifically the reyes family home

jaime reyes is a mexican that lives in el paso, texas. at least according to his source material. in the film however, they invented up an imaginary city for him and his family to live in and it was disappointing to see. im a texas born puerto rican whom has lived in el paso and puerto rico amongst many other places and it was kinda like….. it felt wrong the way this imaginary city was depicted. el paso is a desert and they translated that to literally them just living on a street named el paso. el paso is a beautiful city with gorgeous architecture and we were robbed of seeing that in favor of taking puerto rico and its architecture and being labeled once again a fantasy. like no! we were robbed of two different representations at once!

jaime’s home in the very real city of el paso, texas is completely ignored in favor of a tropical landscape. and while it brought pride to my heart seeing mi isla on the big screen, it made me sad as well that people would see our land (once again) yet not even realize we are not in fact a fantasy but a real actual place where people really actually live. 

puerto rico’s architecture is built with very specific things in mind: one, because we live on an island, the materials we use are primarily concretes and metals to ensure longevity of our buildings in extremely moist climates. two, our homes are essentially (but not all) barricaded for extra safety (a sad but real reality) with gorgeously crafted fencing around porches. three, WE LOVE COLORS our homes are painted extremely colorfully! while in contrast, el paso’s color palate revolves favoring the earth tones seen in the city's desert landscape. it just felt like the gorgeous landscape of el paso wasnt good enough to the producers to be depicted on the big screen.

not only that we were robbed of the real issues that puerto rico is facing right now. we see a sign at the beginning of the neighborhood the reyes family lives in with several things graffitid onto it and one of the phrases is “gringos go home” this is a huge movement in puerto rico and has been for many years now as more rich white people have been gentrifying our island and kicking native puerto ricans out of their own homes. homes they have lived in their entire lives. the phrase itself can be seen as funny and im sure some people laughed about it but it felt like a slap in the face to see especially because that specific neighborhood is literally filmed in puerto rico.

the movie presents this issue of rich white people taking over this imaginary city in somewhere california when these issues are actually happening on the island as you read this. and its something they talk about in the movie but not in relation to puerto rico! like its a big issue! the reyes are literally losing their home! and theyve already lost their business because of the rising rent that they simply cannot afford. except the land the gringos are gentrifying isnt real because the city doesnt fucking exist and therefore viewers can choose to look at it as this grand fantasy issue as if the current colonization of puerto rico isnt something to be concerned about. how can yall tell us to go back to our country then take away our homes? where are we supposed to go?

[lionews]

To everyone wondering what happened to Anaraktu:

#304120 bought an 11 year old, 2 heats left tigon from them. The original trade name was “11yo tigon, 2 heats left”. In the description or trade name, it never mentioned clean tigon ANYWHERE which should be a hint to the buyer it isnt clean. Ana told me the buyer bougth it IN FEBRUARI for 10 Buffy Balls. Which back in februari was a fair trade.

the person was whining in chat about the tigon being dirty and old, which was no secret in the trade, BEFORE even breeding the tigon. They called Anaraktu a scammer, and other people went along, calling her an asshole and scammer too. Now yesterday Anaraktu brought up the topic of being unfairly called a scammer, and the same person who called Ana a scammer the day before went on about “she wasnt scamming its my fault, bla bla”. The buyer also failed to mention in chat when accusing that the tigons trade name was 11 and were fully aware it was old when they bought her, and that they bought her in feb. So when they said i paid …gb in items for it, it was in feb, when the items were worth less then that. But still claimed it was overpaying and unfair. And people accused Anaraktu of a scammer because of that. It turns out, the person buying the old dirty tigon had twin gons born from her yesterday too. So all this hate and false accusations were totally unnecessary and unfair to Anaraktu, because since the cubs have been born theyre all lovey dovey and nice again about the gon and Ana. Luckily there were people defending Anaraktu and saying its the buyers fault, and not a scam.

So Anaraktu wasn’t a scammer nor an asshole, because the buyer knew it was old and if they checked the herritage that it was dirty, turns out they didn’t which was their own fault, because Anaraktu never claimed it was clean nor young.

.

[supernova-151]

now i wasnt born yesterday thats a pina colada and a spritz good for diecesca for being the first couple to have a proper APERITIF!!

[borathae]

Chapter 25

fuck i dont have time for 10k but lets get this bread lol OH SHIT ITS EXTRA SAD FUCK HOW DO I SQUEEZE SADNESS INTO 20 MINUTES

so he is born between 1210-ish? damn that was one hell of a night ok 1310-ish he left korea for europe (age 100) fuck he was really a gifted healer, trying his best and then all this happens

1500 age 300 he was um not ok fuck thats so sad not remembering anything and just seeing yourself like that WILLIAM?? DAMN

1700 - 500 came back to korea oh he met jimin in this era in russia Taehyung had almost forgotten the language of his home but Jimin refreshed his memories again fuck thats so cute

Taehyung liked that Jimin also drank blood, he had never seen someone else like him before and it made him happy SHIT HE DIDNT KNOW ANOTHER VAMPIRE FOR 500 YEARS OF HIS LIFE??

what he liked most about Jimin was that he helped him not feel anymore. Taehyung still felt joy, annoyance, anger, rage, pleasure. He still felt those things, but he knew they couldn’t hurt him anymore. oh thats nice, to not be hurt by very fucking emotion u get and feel. but idk this feels slightly concerning like did he lose emotions all together or what WAIT IS THAT THE SWITCH IN ONE OF DATES???

he really loved 20th century huh, the art, changes, inventions. thats cute. he is really going to die in this chapter? huh? pls im about to cry

oh 300 years later he is bored. im scared 💀👀😃so tae changed but jimin stayed the same and thats why it looks like vmin is going separate ways hmm but they still care for each other

so tae wanted us as another feed/hunt and joon interrupted that night hmm damn YES ALL THE FAKE PRAISE HE WAS MAKING HER TELL

wow yall call ur man handsome with pure intent so that u can stay safe cuz tae wanted to kill us but then he changed all from a praise

ok im going for a while and imma come back

damn he really was honest in that chapter i didnt expect that lol

*detective aha, YES I KNEW IT WAS THE EMOTION SWITCH now we knoe the histroy, jimin turned it off, it turned on with oc YES BABY U MADE A MAN LIVE AGAIN

ah thats how he was cold again after the chat and thats what jimin meant when he said u turned it on again

damn even he was lying/pretending, he wasnt fuck THATS WHY HE WAS LIKE THAT DAY AND THE BATH

and this is why jimin is asking her to save him, cuz she is turning it on when jimin turns it off. BUT WHY WOULD JAMAL CARE he did all that for centuries and he suddenly cares now?? fuck off aint believing that shit. i aint born yesterday, neither are you

or was jimin under joon's control ever since he introduced him? nah actually, a little before jimin turned off tae's emotion?

anyways im happy i guessed most of tae's lies or at least half yipee

AHA JIMIN IS JOON'S EXPERIMENT AND TAE OF JIMINS

ok so jimin does care hm ok sorry jamal (no trust is better than stolen trust)

JAMAL DONT DIE ON ME WTF MAN I LOVE YOU DONT FUCK NOO BITCH ASS NAMJOON UR GETTING UR ASS WHOPPED BY MY DAD GRANDPA AND MOM

TAEHYUNG AAH I GET YOU JIN AND KOOK BUT PLEASE MY BABIES GOD MY STOMACH HURTS, MY NOSE IS RUNNY, I CAN REALLY PHYSICALLY FEEL MY HEART

sibi i hate you why just why

1500 age 300 he was um not ok fuck thats so sad not remembering anything and just seeing yourself like that WILLIAM?? DAMN

explains why he knows that william shakespear indeed had a male lover 🤪🤪

1700 - 500 came back to korea oh he met jimin in this era in russia Taehyung had almost forgotten the language of his home but Jimin refreshed his memories again fuck thats so cute

no but they were actually so perfect for each other back then 😭

Taehyung liked that Jimin also drank blood, he had never seen someone else like him before and it made him happy SHIT HE DIDNT KNOW ANOTHER VAMPIRE FOR 500 YEARS OF HIS LIFE??

BIG SAD HE IS SO :(

but idk this feels slightly concerning like did he lose emotions all together or what WAIT IS THAT THE SWITCH IN ONE OF DATES???

BINGO 😌😌😌😌

he really loved 20th century huh, the art, changes, inventions. thats cute. he is really going to die in this chapter? huh? pls im about to cry

hahhaha the fear is so valid :--------)

oh 300 years later he is bored. im scared 💀👀😃so tae changed but jimin stayed the same and thats why it looks like vmin is going separate ways hmm but they still care for each other

yes 100% definitely

wow yall call ur man handsome with pure intent so that u can stay safe cuz tae wanted to kill us but then he changed all from a praise

lmaoao he is such a slut for praise fasjdf

damn he really was honest in that chapter i didnt expect that lol

i love just knowing he was actually genuine 😩

*detective aha, YES I KNEW IT WAS THE EMOTION SWITCH now we knoe the histroy, jimin turned it off, it turned on with oc YES BABY U MADE A MAN LIVE AGAIN

YES EXACTLY 👀👀👀👀

ah thats how he was cold again after the chat and thats what jimin meant when he said u turned it on again

yesss exactlyyyy

damn even he was lying/pretending, he wasnt fuck THATS WHY HE WAS LIKE THAT DAY AND THE BATH

YES THISSS

and this is why jimin is asking her to save him, cuz she is turning it on when jimin turns it off. BUT WHY WOULD JAMAL CARE he did all that for centuries and he suddenly cares now?? fuck off aint believing that shit. i aint born yesterday, neither are you

okay but you really have to remember the magic ring fighting off mind control 👀

or was jimin under joon's control ever since he introduced him? nah actually, a little before jimin turned off tae's emotion?

ooooooooooooooh 👀

AHA JIMIN IS JOON'S EXPERIMENT AND TAE OF JIMINS

OOOOOHHHHHHH 👀👀

JAMAL DONT DIE ON ME WTF MAN I LOVE YOU DONT FUCK NOO BITCH ASS NAMJOON UR GETTING UR ASS WHOPPED BY MY DAD GRANDPA AND MOM

:-)

TAEHYUNG AAH I GET YOU JIN AND KOOK BUT PLEASE MY BABIES GOD MY STOMACH HURTS, MY NOSE IS RUNNY, I CAN REALLY PHYSICALLY FEEL MY HEART

:-)

sibi i hate you why just why

:-)

[slothgiirl]

the trashpile: dympna devers

reader runs into dymphna while picking up some groceries. is cleaning out her dead alcoholic fathers place (who probs did drugs too,,mb?). she gets annoyed and snaps at him and he thinks its hot bc everyone else just does what he wants them too

reader takes a walk pretty late because shes sad that her dad died and even tho they had no relationship its like now theres no way he’ll get better and be a dad, hes just gone. dymphna pulls up in his car, tells her to get in, he’ll drive her back. she doesnt want to. he gets out of the car, leaving it running and talks her into taking a ride with her. (he was trying to be friendly in his own obnoxious grandiose way) they end up parking and drinking together and then they fuck. he complains shes prissy bc uni. reader comments uni is just fucking and going to class for exams. “maybe i shouldve gone to uni then?”

reader starts taking her dads stuff to donation centers. breaks apart the table and tries to figure out if she should just leave it on the curb or take it all the way there. takes a break outside, trying to work through the complicated emotions she has over his death. dymphna spots her and is like i can call arm to help u and shes all like oh why dont u just help urself, thinking hes sort of spoiled in the same way the posh girls at her boarding school were even though hes a pretty trashy wanna be gangster. hes all “id help with the right incentive” she tells him to fuck off but ends up blowing him (and getting him to help).

dymphna takes reader to bar. they play pool and he messes with her. reader notices ppl r looking at her and the way they treat him and she wasnt born yesterday like she knows what it means to be a devers but idk shes into his confident aggression. they have drinks and dymphna ditches arm to go fuck the reader back at his. readers like um dont ditch ur friend? but lets it go quick. wakes up alone and his sisters r like “u came out of nowhere” being bitchy and sussing reader out

reader runs into arm and his family. is not surprised his son is on the spectrum and offers to have her mom write a letter of recommendation so she can get the job at the school in Cork. “ur dymphna’s woman.” “hardly, think i'd remember agreeing to that” 

dymphna shows up at her house late at night and makes a fuss until she opens up. they fuck and he learns she handles customer complaints for some websites (compsci major) reader tries to make appointment to sell house but ends up delaying (still mourning her loss). dymphna takes her out for breakfast. 

reader wakes up at his house. this time dymphna is there and reader complains about the mold in the bathroom. they all give her shit for it and dymphna tells arm to figure that out but readers all no dont- charlie asks if its true she went to uni and reader says yeah, it was a bitch but i finished as dymphna pulls her onto his lap to watch tv. she means to get up and leave but feels comfortable and realizes she has a lot of feelings for him

theres a party at the devers and reader and charlie find a corner and nurse a beer while charlie wonders if she might go to uni. reader goes to get another drink and sees dymphna and his uncle doing coke. reader passes on the coke (not stupid). dymphna makes introductions and his uncle comments its probably best she doesnt do coke (look at ursula) reader snaps that its not anyones fault and his uncle is like uve got lip (control ur woman) and dymphna tells her to shut the fuck up yeah babe? reader gets annoyed and goes to bed (when she should just leave) 

reluctantly cleans the bathroom bc fuck shes not using anything when she can see mold and grime built up (scale i think its called on tile?). complains to dymphna that hes a big fish small pond but still takes his uncles shit and dymphna yells at her getting pissed off that she doesnt understand how business is done. throw things at each other and fuck. after he talks about family and stuff (heavy implication he wants her to be his wife) ill take care of u. reader: i make 80k i dont need anyone

theres some party where ppl get pissed drunk. reader doesnt like dymphna getting high and drunk. it reminds her of her father only her dad got comatose and dymphna gets short tempered and somehow even more wild. charlie and reader hide out in her room. charlie mentions sooner or later he’ll come looking for her and readers like ill kick his arse. charlie laughs and asks if reader will help her with her schoolwork. totally. charlie: i thought u were leaving tho reader: idk anymore. finnigan stumbles in and reader tells charlie to go and throws a bottle at the man but misses. he pins her down on the bed but she manages to grab the lamp and smash it on his head. reader is shaking when dymphna comes in to see what the fuck is going on. reader is like “help me take care of this” he agrees. (shes way more hardcore and cool than he is)

reader has arm and dymphna make it look like finnigan was drunk and drove himself off a cliff. arm drives them back into town. dymphna holds reader close. “we take care of each other” “yeah” 

notes: charlie goes to uni and breaks the cycle. reader and dymphna have their weird toxic codependent relationship and reader eventually takes over the family business

[therealpontius]

Johnny Knoxville and pegging, please.

Strap-on fun

Johnny (sub) x reader (dom)

Plot: you confess to your dirty little secret

Warnings: prase/ cursing/ smut/ pegging

The day of your birthday came to an end, you didnt do much since you were celebrating with him on the saturday.

“Heya doll” johnny says seductively, leaning against the door frame only on his boxers “hey hottie” you winked earning a giggle from him “what you wanting to do?” “Im not sure…” the truth was you did know, youve known for months now. Under the bed u hid a box with a strap-on inside that u bought months ago but were too nervous to tell him. “Babe… i wasnt born yesterday i know that smile” he spoke softly, striding into the room and sitting on the bed with you “well.. okay this is embarrassing” johnny rested his hand over yours softly and looked deeply into your eyes “baby cmon” “i got a strap on awhile ago-“ you were cut off by a howling laugh johnny let out “A STRAP ON?” You laughed along, nodding in response “show me the fucking thing”

You get on your knees at your side of the bed where you located the medium sized black box that had a layer of dust on it already. Johnnys head craned over as u put it on the bed. You opened it slowly and it revealed an average sized pink dildo and a strap that was supposed to sit on your waist. “When the fuck did you get this” his immediate reaction was to pick up the dildo and play around with it “when you told me that the russian doctor said youve got a loose arse” you both began laughing “youve had this for a YEAR? And you didnt tell me?” Johnny flung the rubber dick at you to start putting it together “yeah well… anyway you up for it?” “Yes doc!” He exclaims, taking off his boxers

Once the strap was ready and on you tight you applied the lube that you guys kept on your bedside table for ‘funtime thursdays’… this was johnnys name for days youve had sex even if it wasnt a Thursday. He rested on his elbows, ass in the air waiting for you “put on a sexy russian accent” he teased letting out a laugh of shock, hes really about to get pegged. You lined the pink tip up with his ass “are you ready?” You asked “yes! Hurry up!” He winced, clearly wanting this more than you.

With a slow movement you slipped in with ease, the doctor wasnt lying. Johnnys breath hitched and he twitched slightly “you like that baby?” You asked softly “yeah..”. You pulled out and pushed back in again, with each thrust slowly gaining pace to ease him into it.

“Fuck doll, speed up alittle” johnny begged, picking his head up from the matress to look into your eyes. God it made you so wet seeing his eyes all droopy and desperate for you “beg for it” you say, cradling his face “fuck… please darling, fuck me faster i deserve it” “good boy” you were supprised at how fast the roles changed but you weren’t complaining. You sped up significantly faster, his head buried into the sheets again “fuck!” Johnny screamed.

After five minutes his whines became louder giving away that he was REALLY enjoying this. You reached your hand down and grabbed hold of his dick, it was unbearably hard and the precum was pooling out of it. You matched your pumps with your thrusts sending him into frenzy, he couldnt even moan, his head lay on its side, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his mouth hung open. A loud grunt left his lips as you felt his load explode under him. You moves slowed down while he panted for air, still moaning softly.

“Good boy” you praised softly, kissing his head. He lay, blissed out, in a puddle of sweat and cum, waiting for you to clean him up.