#was wrecking my brain on how to make this piece work when

[meriahlatyar]

good luck, sixer

[musicofficial2024]

Reflection in the Dark (Official Music Video)

[wonderlandwalker]

First Impressions | Eddie Munson x Reader

Stranger Things Masterlist / Inbox Summary: Eddie learns that Dustin has a recently reunited sister, and from the moment he meets you he's a goner. (read part 2 here) Content Warnings / Tags: Pure fluff, henderson!reader, tiny mention of a fight but nothing descriptive, not edited, no use of y/n Word Count: 1.4k A/N: Eddie brain rot cause I couldn't keep it in. Don't know if this is my best work but I'm planning to write more chapters on this so it's just a start, hope you like it

“You need a ride home after this?” It was more of a formality than an actual question, he always drove Dustin home after a session.

“Oh that’s okay, my sister is picking me up.” Dustin didn’t even look up from packing his things away, but Eddie’s head shot up.

“Your- you have a sister, since when?” As far as he knew Dustin was an only child, but now he was wrecking his brain trying to think if he had ever mentioned you before.

“I know you’re bad at math Eddie, but I just told you she’s driving so try and put the pieces together.” Dustin was looking up at him now, challenging him.

“Alright smartass, it’s time for you to shut up.” He told him as he ruffled through his hair, leaving behind an agitated Dustin trying frantically to fix it. 

The others had already gone home, but Dustin stayed behind late to help Eddie finish up, a habit that became more and more common as the two grew closer. When they finished packing up Eddie locked the door behind them, and while walking to the parking lot decided he wasn’t quite done interrogating Dustin.

“If you have an older sister, how come I've never seen her around before?”

“I mean she’s been around during holidays before, she lived with dad though but they had a big fight so she’s moved here.” It seemed like a sore topic, so Eddie dropped it for now.

As they got to the entrance of the school and felt the cool air on their skin Eddie indeed noticed another car in the usually empty lot, and you were sitting on the hood of it, a book in your hands as you patiently waited. The last rays of sunshine graced your figure as if the heavens themselves were blessing you, and Eddie had never been so sure he’d seena goddess in his life. It was just like the tales he knew so well, the ones he still devoted his life to, it was as if they were becoming true. You looked up when you heard them approach, smiling at the sight of them and giving Dustin a quick side hug as they reached you.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot of good things.” You held your hand out for Eddie to take, but all he could do was look at it, staring ahead as if hitting pause in a game, he stood still. He wanted to react, to not make the most horrible first impression possible, but the longer he looked at you the worse it got, getting lost in sight of your smile. “Alright, not a fan of handshakes, notes.” You chuckled as you withdrew your hand, and Eddie cursed himself for not having taken the opportunity to feel how soft your skin must’ve been. You looked at him again, your eyes piercing straight through his soul and he wondered if maybe he had found himself in one of his fantasy worlds, he must have. But the next second he shook himself out of it, because you were real, you were real and in front of him and expecting him to say something.

“I’m Eddie.” he said, nodding his head as if to confirm his own statement.

“So I’ve been told.” Another giggle slipped past your lips, and Eddie wasnt sure if it was from nerves or entertainment, but he was dying to hear more of it, even if he had to make a fool of himself to do so.

Dustins head kept going back and forth as if watching a tennis match of idiocracy. He had never seen Eddie so flustered, so used to the man flaunting with every opportunity that presented itself that this seemed quite out of character. In full disclosure, it was kind of freaking him out to see Eddie so beside himself, and it was freaking him out even further that he couldn’t figure out why. It was probably blatantly obvious to anyone else, but maybe it was for the best that Dustin couldn’t place where the tension originated from, either way, his patience had run out

“Can we go home now, I still have to call Mike to discuss our net strategies” You tore your eyes from Eddie, deciding that maybe it was for the best to head home.

“Yeah alright, maybe I’ll see you around Eddie.” You gave him one last smile as you got in the car with Dustin and drove off, but it took him another minute to pick his shambled ego up from the concrete ground as he berated himself for not being able to utter one coherent sentence. As he got in his van and drove home as well he decided he’d have to grill Dustin for more information on you the next time he’d see him. As he got to the trailer he grumbled a hello to Wayne before disappearing to his room, ignoring the backhanded comment he got about his grumpy disposition. 

He wondered if he’d ever be able to convince you he was cool, whether he’d be able to get you to agree to see him again, but after what just transpired he figured the odds were slim. Not that he’d give up so easily, he didn’t have much of a reputation to lose and if he’d be able to get you to laugh again that would be more than enough. But he didn’t get to wonder for long as Wayne knocked on his door, he was ready to tell the man to leave him alone, but the next sentence was one that confused him immensely

“Someone on the phone for you.” Wayne held the phone out to him, expecting him to get up from the bed and take it, but Eddie didn’t move an inch.

“For me, you sure?” He was still not quite sure what to do. “Unless another Eddie is living here I’m pretty sure.” He moved his hand again to accentuate the phone that was still on hold, but once again Eddie just sat there.

“If you want I can tell her to call back-” That’s when he sprung into action, snatching the phoen out of Wayne’s hand 

“No! No, I got it. Thank you.” The old man simply chuckled as he left again, closing the door behind him to give his nephew some privacy.

Eddie cleared his throat once before picking up the line put on hold. 

“Hello?” he asked, still not quite sure what to do.

“Hi, Eddie it’s me, just wanted to see if you were doing alright.” your sweet voice blessed his ears once more. He doesn’t know what he did to get the universe on his side like this, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Yeah I’m good, listen-” Eddie figured this time he shouldn’t waste his chance, and he probably had some making up to do. “- I’m sorry if I freaked you out earlier, just never seen anyone that pretty before.” You were giggling again, and it brought the biggest grin onto his face. “You didn’t weird me out at all, it was kinda cute. I had to bribe Dustin to let me use the phone so I don’t have much time but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out this weekend?” Maybe he should’ve waited a beart before answering, but he was too eager to care.

“Go out, as in a date?” It got him blushing, the red creeping up on his cheeks as he wondered if that’s really what you were asking

“I mean, kinda, if you want to.” He could almost see you blushing on the other side of the line as well, and he decided it was now or never.

“I’d love to.” 

“That’s great, I’m still kind of new around here, do you know any good places?” Your smile was present as you spoke, and he was already looking forward to seeing it again, now knowing he wouldn’t have to wait long.

“How about I come and pick you up, we can go to the mall.” His confidence was growing with the minute now, absolutely elated by the turn of events.

“Im looking forward to it” He wondered what you’d wear, knowing whatever it was it would look beautiful on you, and he knew he’d spend the entire date amazed at your presence. 

“Me too” he said before the both of you hung up the phone, he had already started planning the most amazing evening out, and maybe, he thought, maybe this year really would take a turn for the better.

[part 2 here]

[honeyshiddendesire]

I’ll Teach You

Warnings: INCEST PLAY (big sis/little brother)! Bimbofication! Slut Training! Vaginal penetration! Fingering! Oral sex! (M) throat fucking/gagging/choking all the works! Praise & degradation kink! Size kink! Older reader! Spanking! Hair pulling! Whore training!

POSSIBLE DARK/DEAD DOVE CONTENT

*you've been warned so don't come for me*

Summary: Eustass was the friend to your little brother, Killer. As you’re on the phone he overhears you complaining to your mom that no one likes you in your class. Confronting you about it he tells you that your mama bluffed so she wouldn’t hurt your feelings but he was willing to help you.

*banner*

“Guys want a slut.”

“That big brain of yours is good for later as a wife but right now … guys wanna see how well you take a cock.”

“Ah fuck- that’s it big sis look at you go.” Eustass had a wicked grin as he looked down at you. Your hair wrapped in his big hands as he thrust into your stretched open mouth. Gagging you with the heavy girth as he pinched your nose for a few seconds before pulling you off to spit in your mouth.

“No idea how fuckin’ pretty you look right now- shit-  this is how you should be everyday.” Rubbing his large hand all over your face to smear the tears, mascara, precum & spit that was there. Smushing your cheeks together roughly making you whimper before he tapped his cock back onto your lips. Rubbing the leaky tip on your lips like he was trying to apply lipstick made of his seed.

“You look wrecked. It’s so fucking hot.”

Opening your tongue right up like he taught you had him barking out a proud laugh. Wrapping your hair in a ponytail he fucked his cock back into your obedient throat. “There we fuckin’ go big sis. That’s what the hell I’m talkin about.”

“Fuuuuuck. If you’re this good at suckin’ dick then I can’t wait to see that pussy game.” Eustass grunted dropping his head back as he put a leg on the couch that you knelt in front of. Putting his hands on the back of the couch he thrust into your throat, pinning you against the sofa.

“Mmphhh!” You gagged against his meaty cock as he fucked your face into the side of the couch. It was hot how he just used your face like he would your cunt. It made you sneak a hand under your skirt, pushing your soaked panties to the side with a muffled sigh.

“You’re such a good listener big sis -fuck- fast learner too. Shit big sis can’t believe you need me teaching you how to be a slut.“ Eustass’ voice was breathy as he fucked into your throat, groaning when he felt you claw his thigh.

Pulling back with a coo he looked at you gasping for air, his heavy cock pushing against your cheek making you whimper. Tongue coming out again with heavy pants, eyes dazed as you looked up at Eustass for his next moves.

“Say what I taught you.” Eustass growled out as he grabbed your hair. Sitting on the couch with you on your knees, hair in his hand waiting on your response.

“P-please use me. I need your cock to fuck me in my slutty holes and fill me full of your cum.” You answer while spreading your legs for him to see how soaked you were. The bold action making him hum with satisfaction, “Good girl. See I knew my big sis had the potential to be the best cock slut ever. Okay, come ride my dick. I wanna see that pussy split apart.”

“But y-you’re so big.” You whimper making him tug your hair to pull you close. “I wasn’t asking sis. You’re my little freeuse slut and that means you hop on and ride me when I tell you to.”

Leaning back he put his hands on the back of the couch lounging as he waited on you. “Besides it’s dick…it’s good for you, think of it like a vitamin. Vitamin D. Ha! Ya need it to live so hurry up and start ridin’.” He barked out patting his thigh.

Standing up you removed the rest of your clothes making him whistle as he spun his finger around. You did a slow turn letting his eyes rake over your body like the piece of meat he wanted you to be. “Pretty one ain’t ya sis.” Eustass teased as he spanked your ass when it was in front of his face.

“Hop on this cock, slut.” He groaned out as he stroked his thick cock, thumb running over his leaky tip. Licking his lips as he watched you climb on top and spread your pussy open. “Yeah, just like that.”

“Nngh ahh! Fuck! Kidd~it’s too big still.” You whimpered with teary eyes as his thick cockhead opened up your wet pussy. “Ahhhh wait Kidd! Too big it h-hurts.” You plead going to lift yourself back up but his calloused hands on your hips pull you down roughly. Thrusting his veiny cock up as he pulls you down flush to his hips.

“Shhhh just take it like a good girl and quit cryin’ sis. Fuck- bimbos do as they’re told. Period.” He growled as he slammed you down on his dick making you scream. The tip instantly slapping into your sweet spot with its slight curve and fat tip.

Kidd smirked when he felt your pussy clench and flutter around him, wetness coating the base of his cock making his mouth water. “Tight little cunt you got.”

Eustass gripped your ass cheeks, kneading and spreading them apart before grinding you on his cock. “Ahhh! Fuckfuckfuck!” You moan out as his tip rolls into your spot. Pulling his hand back before swatting it down on your ass causing you to yelp. Lifting you up to the tip before bringing you back down with a deep moan. Raspy and heavy as he threw his head back against the couch.

“Fuck - I needed this.” Eustass grunted as he manhandled you on his cock, your hands clawing at his massive shoulders. “Men need a nice cunt to bully their stress in- fuck- you were made for this shit sis.” Hearing him praise and objectify you made your body burn in shameful desire.

You felt sexy like you wanted to please him. Knowing that just your pretty pussy is the cure to a man’s rough day only makes you wetter. All those pointless awkward conversations out the window knowing all you needed to do was relinquish control, submit to your slutty side and spread your legs. The realization was incredible and you found yourself bouncing on his cock with newfound enthusiasm.

“Hell yeah get in to it. Lil nerd finally letting go and being the whore she was meant to be. So fuckin perfect. That’s it sis, turn off that big brain of yours until all that’s left is takin dick.” Eustass’ words put you in a trance and you couldn’t help the noises that it caused.

Wet slapping sounds, squishing walls and moans filled the living room as you rode the hell out of Eustass. Thick cock hitting all the right spots till you were throwing your arms around him begging to let you cum. “Pleasepleaseplease lemme cum lil brother please. I’ve been good right? Please let me cum! You can cum inside me too! Please I just need it so bad~!” You begged perfectly for the man, he couldn’t have been more proud of the slut he created.

Taking you and pinning you down to the couch he fucked into your cunt. Legs on his shoulders as he leaned over you, fucking your pussy deeper. Screams leaving you as your back arched. “Yes thank you! I need your cock all the time please~!” Your words weren’t even registering in your brain at this point and Kidd loved it.

“I’m tellin’ ya Y/N you’re a natural. Honestly I might have to keep you for myself. Shhiiit-fuck I’ma cum. Dammit not before you.” Kidd growled as he felt himself twitch. Pushing your legs back till your knees were at your ears he began thrusting harder.

“Eustass! Lil-little brother! You’re making me so full.” You whine and it makes Kidd’s brow twitch.

“No way in hell I’m coming before you nerd.” He grunted as he rubbed your aching clit, fingers rubbing over your quickly with all your slick that dripped out. “I wanna see you squirt on my cock like a good bimbo . Tongue hanging out panting like a little bitch while I’m pumpin’ this pussy full.”

“Anything you want, brother please ~!” Your hands clawing at the cushions with whines and broken moans. “Wanna cum on my cock? Show me what all these guys are missing.” Kidd groaned as he felt your gooey walls tugging him in, dripping to his balls that slapped into you. Sticking your tongue out you stared at him with a pleasing expression he was becoming obsessed with.

“That’s my fast learner.” Eustass smirks as he spits into your open mouth. Enjoying the whimper as you swallow and open back up to repeat it once more. “So fucking good.”

“Cum with me sis. Cum all over your little brother’s big fat cock.” Eustass grinned as he slapped your clit a couple times before rubbing it again.

“Ahhhh haaa nnngh fuuuuuckkmeeeeeee! EUSTASS!”

Eustass bit his lip to cover up the whimper that left him as your pussy clamped down on his cock. Wetness gushing out to splash back in your face had him fucking his cum into your cunt. “Damn that’s hot.”

“Take this load babe.” Kidd grunted as he rocked into your cunt, cum seeping out the side a bit. A groan leaving him as you clenched and fluttered around him squirming.

“S’to much K-Kidd~” You whine but Eustass only laughs shaking his head. “Nah there’s still a lot you need to learn. For now~ you didn’t do too bad…sis.”

“Ugh can’t believe you had me call you that!” You grumbled swatting his chest as he pulls you on his lap sitting down. Practically giving you whiplash from the transition. Eustass only slapped your ass with a laugh.

“Ah What can I say? If you run into a guy like me he’ll be thankful you’re already trained in the nasty shit.”

“Thought you were gonna keep me?” You teased him pinching his cheeks causing Kidd to blush.

“I m-mean w-why would I do that…y-you’re a total nerd.” His flustered expression was cute and you stored it mentally for later.

“Good thing you’re teaching me to be the perfect bimbo whore right lil brother?”

[ltghosty]

Violation (Simon "Ghost" Riley ﾒ Female "Cobra" Sergeant)

A/N: Thank you for 25 followers and the love for my first fanfic, it means a lot :)

Summary: You disobey Ghost's order and go after Soap to help him finish Graves which leaves Riley furious.

Warnings: blood, curse, angst

Wordcount: 5.4k (got a little carried away, oops)

”You heard me,” Ghost replied dryly. ”You don’t have to work under my watch if you feel like obeying my orders would be too difficult for you.”

You would have never expected to come this far.

After a few years of being on the field, you lost count of how many times you played death.

Sometimes it terrified you how close you had come to falling out of the game.

There was a time you were counting with Soap, making a race of who had cheated death more times. But that was until Ghost ordered you two to stop it. He didn’t find close death calls that amusing, not even when trying to let his guard down a little.

Ghost also hated if someone disobeyed his orders. He was a lieutenant, after all, it was his job as a superior to send orders and come up with plans.

And it was your job to listen to him and obey without a question.

But it was quite a fury when your brain went to a battle against your heart.

In such a situation, what do you listen to? Your morality or your feelings?

After Price had fallen with his plane, you were about to go with Ghost to secure that site and help him.

When you heard Soap’s heavy cough on the radio while Graves was coming closer to him, you were hiding behind a wreck while Ghost was a few meters away.

You knew that this time was different.

Soap was dying, and Rodolfo was not answering his calls. Your heart missed a beat when realization sunk in.

As far as you were concerned, Ghost didn’t need you. He was an excellent fighter and shot after all, if anything, you would have only slowed him down.

You were good at your job but you couldn’t reach up to Ghost.

None of you could.

However, Ghost didn’t even want to hear about you returning to the training ground where Soap and Rodolfo had gone to.

”Cobra, you stay where you are.” Ghost’s voice was serious and impatient while he was trying to clear his path toward Price.

”Soap and Rodolfo are in trouble!” you beamed as the rain of bullets sieging your cover hasn’t come to an end yet.

Ghost turned his head in your direction, his eyes widening when he saw the determined look on your face.

”Cobra, do not leave my side, do you hear me?” Ghost raised his voice to overcome the loud snap of bullets.

You knew that Ghost would be fine if you left. Sometimes his lethal tactics made you feel like he was born with knives.

”I’ll have to help them.”

Ghost’s eyes were storming with his rage as you didn’t even try listening to him.

”Cobra, I won’t repeat myself.” Ghost was losing the little patience that has left in his body.

Realizing that he’d never give you a green light about your choice, you tightened your grip on your gun and made a run for it when Ghost turned away to shoot the enemies.

You heard him shout your name raucously in the distance when he realized that you were gone.

You almost stopped running by the firmness in his voice that made the hair on your arms stand.

He was mad, furious even and you knew that after the end of the day, he would not praise you if you succeeded.

Ghost hated if someone was disobeying him, you knew that, and still, even though it was the right thing to do, you felt guilty that you played him like that.

You’ve never crossed the line with Ghost, never.

You’d be lucky if he’d be able to trust you again.

--

When the explosion happened, you thought that the world was splitting for a second. The ground was shaking and even though you protected your head, several pieces of ruins have cut into your skin wherever they could.

It took more than a minute for your ears to start functioning again as Soap was coming over to you. He was just as dirty and bloody as you were.

”Cobra, are you with me?” Soap asked, kneeling down next to you with a wince.

Your face flinched as you took a piece of rock out of your face, feeling your blood fighting a way down your cheek through the dirt.

”I think so,” you whispered. Your head felt both empty and heavy at the same time.

The flames of the tank were dancing in Soap’s eyes as he studied you before sitting down with a groan.

Rodolfo joined you two with a frown on his face as he pressed his hand against his abdomen.

”Did I win this time?”

You narrowed your eyes. Soap’s humor didn’t know boundaries. The man has almost died and he still had enough energy to joke around.

”You wish, MacTavish.”

You shared a brief laugh with Soap at the absurdity of the situation.

Rodolfo leaned in with furrowed eyebrows, ”What’s so funny?”

You shook your head and wiped the blood off your face. You didn’t want to ruin Rudy’s innocent mind, he probably wasn’t the type to make fun of deadly situations anyway.

Probably because he was normal, you thought.

There was a moment when you thought that everything would end before the explosion. You’ve never been more scared or startled when you felt pure fear tightening your chest.

You’ve witnessed many deaths and explosions but this time was different. Knowing the person, serving with him, cracking jokes like real friends, who were about to kill you in a heartbeat was worse.

Betrayal was one of the things that left a bitter feeling inside you because your duty was built on trust and loyalty.

And without any of those, everything would fall apart.

Soap touched the radio on his chest, ”Soap to Ghost. I’m with Cobra and Rudy. Graves is KIA. How’s Price?”

There was only a beat of silence before Ghost’s voice could be heard.

”Angry. Lost a good cigar in the crash… Pilot’s okay too. Out.”

You shivered at the coldness in Ghost’s voice. After all, you would have expected him to be relieved that everyone made it but the distance he had put up was a clear sign of his annoyance toward you.

”Hey, everything all right?” Soap nudged your shoulder then hissed when pain stabbed through his arm.

”Ghost is really mad at me.”

This was the first time you pushed your luck with Ghost and considering that he was practically your boss, it scared you.

You knew that you did the right thing but your stomach turned into a knot at the thought of having to face Ghost in the next half hour.

”He’ll come around,” Soap said. ”You saved our lives.”

”Yes but he didn’t want me to come here at all. You should have seen him, he was furious.”

Soap sighed and pulled his knees to his chest before leaning his elbows on them.

”You did the right thing.”

But should doing the right thing make you feel this guilty and scared?

Taking your time, the three of you left the tank behind, facing the other part of the group.

Soap kept talking to you while you were helping him walk on the cement but your calmness left your body when you saw Ghost in the distance with Price.

When he looked at you for a brief moment, his eyes turned cold as he watched you approach.

”He’s probably mad because I’m alive,” Soap tried to brighten your mood with a joke and you let yourself smile a little.

”Nice try, Sergeant.”

It meant a lot to you that Soap tried to help you relax a little bit. You’ve been through one hell of a day after all.

Which could be only crowned with Ghost’s disappointment.

It didn’t take him much time to let his anger run through his veins once you’d come to a stop.

”Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Ghost asked.

His voice cut through you like a knife and you hated to see that you burnt down a bridge between you and him.

”Lt…” Soap started.

”I’m talking to Cobra, Sergeant.” Ghost snapped with venom in his voice.

”Thank you for sending her to us. We would have died without her.” Rodolfo spoke up after taking his skull mask off.

At first, you thought that Rudy was stepping on thin ice, lying to Ghost but also trying to make him understand that they needed you.

Ghost weighed Rudy’s words for a moment before his eyes found you again. You could see every possible hostile feeling flashing through them when you were only looking for relief.

”Yes, don’t be harsh on her, Lt.” Soap said and tightened his grip around you.

Ghost’s eyes dropped to Soap’s hand holding into your shoulder before he let out a deep breath.

You didn’t want the boys to take responsibility for your rushed actions, so you cleared your throat.

”Can I talk with Ghost?” You asked and Soap looked down at you. ”Alone.”

Rudy and Soap shared a knowing look before Soap withdrew his arm and let Rudy lead him away to Price who looked more than pissed about his wasted cigar.

Ghost was silent for a minute while the boys left the era. He had his arms crossed, his eyes were unreadable.

You waited for him to lash out and bring you down with words that he knew would leave a trail behind in your heart.

But Ghost didn’t say anything.

Even if he was still angry, he kept in himself while glaring into the distance, taking heavy breaths.

You watched his chest rise and sink a few times before you collected the strength you needed to speak up.

”I know what you want to say,” your voice was calm and vulnerable.

He took a sharp breath before he shook his head, still not looking at you.

”You have no idea what I want to say right now.”

Suddenly, he felt like a stranger which hurt your feelings because you’ve been through so much together that you wouldn’t have thought that saving his best friend would piss him off like that.

Perhaps, he didn’t have a problem with you saving Soap but how you’d completed that.

Ignoring his orders, not listening to him, or maintaining the danger that was waiting for you.

It would have ended in a way you wouldn’t have even thought about it.

”I had to go back for them. They needed help.”

Ghost snapped his head toward you, his eyes piercing through you.

”You disobeyed me, Cobra.” Ghost lowered his voice. ”You made it pretty clear back there that I’m not your lieutenant and that you are ready to run to your death once you have the opportunity.”

His words didn’t surprise you but that didn’t erase the pain they caused.

”That’s not true.”

”No?” Ghost echoed, his voice shifting for a second. ”Tell me then. Did you even think about what could happen?”

You didn’t say anything but still answered his question.

”Did you even stop to think that you’d end up dead? Just like that?” Ghost continued and your throat tightened.

He was right, and he knew that, that’s why he wasn’t giving you enough time to answer because he knew that you had nothing to say regarding your trepidity.

”I had to do something,” you said. ”There are times when you can’t stop to think things through because every second is important. Someone’s life could be on the line.”

”Because is it much better if it’s your life that will be on the line then?” Ghost leaned forward with a sinister glare.

”I have nothing to lose.”

Ghost’s eyes darkened a little hearing your answer.

”Do you really think that would be fucking fair with everyone? Watching you die just because you think you are nothing?”

Slowly, you realized where his anger was really coming from. He wasn’t only mad because you violated his order, but he also didn’t like the fact that you were underestimating yourself.

”There was no time, I had to do something.”

”What if all three of you died? Where would that get us?” Ghost asked sharply.

”But we didn’t.” You argued with no will to continue this confrontation.

”I’m a lieutenant, which means that you do as I say,” Ghost continued firmly. ”I don’t give orders just because I have nothing better to do. There is a reason for every decision I make.”

His words echoed in your head as you watched Soap give you a small encouraging smile. They had no idea how badly Ghost’s words have crushed you.

”Feel free to quit if you think you can’t work in a team.”

Your eyes widened and you turned back to him. You wished that you misheard him but the look in his eyes proved you otherwise.

”What?”

”You heard me,” Ghost replied dryly. ”You don’t have to work under my watch if you feel like obeying my orders would be too difficult for you.”

You never felt so hurt by simple words before. He had never been this cold toward you, in fact, after Graves’s betrayal, it seemed like he let you closer to him.

But now it felt like you fell back to the start where you were only strangers.

”Why are you making such a big deal about this?” You asked.

”Because you don’t value your life at all. And I don’t need soldiers who never think about themselves.”

It was ironic that he was saying that when deep down he felt the same. He always fought with the thought that he might not make it. But when it came to you, Ghost couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, let alone getting killed.

He would be never able to forgive himself for that.

”You disobeyed yourself back then, you know,” you said as you hugged yourself and took a step back.

Ghost felt uneasiness in his heart at the sight of you putting distance between you two. And even though he knew that he hurt you, he wouldn’t take a word back. Because you overstepped a line when you disobeyed him.

”Me?”

You nodded, ”When you waited for Soap at the church. You always work alone and back there you didn’t even think to not help him survive the night.”

Ghost dropped his gaze to your hands, studying your bruises and fresh wounds with an intense stare.

”And now you are mad at me because I did the same?” You touched your throat, your words creeping into his mind, haunting him.

Ghost knew where you were coming from, that’s why he didn’t answer.

His eyes said it all.

”Fuck you, Simon.” You whispered, your voice almost breaking as you walked away from him. You didn’t want him to praise you because it wasn’t something he’d do. All you wanted him to do was understand why you ignored his orders.

”Cobra…” Ghost’s voice was calmer as he turned after you, watching you with soft eyes as you walked away from him.

----

Back at the base, everything seemed normal and fine.

Price made a toast as the task enjoyed their last time winning with honest smiles and shining eyes.

However, Ghost was nowhere to be seen or found.

It made you less uncomfortable now that you didn’t have to face him after the fight you just had before returning to the base.

You didn’t tell anyone what Ghost had said to you. You only let the others know that he wasn’t utterly happy that you disobeyed his orders.

”Where is Ghost?” asked Price after a few minutes now that everyone started eating and chatting with each other.

Your stomach stunk as you fixed your gaze, not daring to look at the captain.

”I don’t know,” Soap said. ”Probably celebrating alone.”

”Now that’s something he’d do.” Alejandro said with a small nod.

You were glad that neither Soap, Rodolfo, or Price had talked to you about Ghost. They knew that he was getting impatient with you but they knew that it wasn’t their business.

”Last time I saw him, he was on the roof,” Soap lowered his tone as he leaned close to your ear.

You furrowed your eyebrows.

”And?”

Soap gave you a side glance.

”You should go talk to him.” Soap advised and you immediately shook your head.

”I don’t think he wants to see me.”

Soap put his fork down and waited until you looked up at him.

”I know that it’s hard to believe but the only reason he lashed out at you is because he cares about you.”

You almost laughed hearing that weak excuse.

”Of course.”

”No, I’m serious.” Soap knotted his eyebrows together. ”He must have been worried about you. He probably cooled down anyway. You know that he is not the type to express himself very well.”

That doesn’t make the things he said right, you thought.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d want to see you now that everything was over.

You knew that you needed closure about the things that happened but you weren’t ready to face him. His cold glare kept haunting you during the flight.

Wouldn’t it be weird that after avoiding him for the rest of the day, you’d just show up suddenly?

You owned him an apology after all. Even though you helped Soap and Rudy, you had to disappoint Ghost.

His outburst was understandable because you had never done something like that before. Which left you wondering if he was willing to consider trusting you again.

You needed to put an end to this and maybe even switch teams if he wouldn’t want to work with you anymore.

”Okay, I’ll go find him.”

Soap gave you a proud smile as you stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the others to themselves.

You were fidgeting with your fingers as you were making your way up to the roof. The closer you got to the exit the more nervous you became.

Stopping in front of the hard metal door, you took a deep breath, trying to slow your heartbeat.

You opened the door, immediately seeing his familiar tall figure standing at the end of the roof with crossed arms and a stiff posture.

Your mouth went dry as you walked under the dark blue sky. The sun was slowly coming to a rest in the distance, leaving orange and pink shades behind.

”I told you I’m not hungry, Johnny.” Ghost’s voice cut through the soft wind that has awakened.

You sniffed before opening your mouth.

”What a shame,” you said. ”Price is not a bad cook at all.”

Ghost immediately turned around when he heard your voice. His eyes studied your fixed-up appearance and the bandages over you as you closed the distance.

His sleeves were rolled up, leaving his tattoos uncovered as his arms were crossed over his massive chest.

When you came to a stop next to him, he didn’t even try to hide that he was staring down at you with curiosity.

You expected him to order you to leave right away but seeing him surprised and silent was startling you.

”I’d rather cook for myself,” he continued. His voice was nowhere as cold and distant as it was when you two reunited after everything.

It made you feel a little less bad now that you knew that he wasn’t angry with you anymore.

You looked at the stars above you with admiring eyes while Ghost’s eyes didn’t leave your face for a second. It almost seemed like he was afraid that if he’d look away you’d vanish.

”It’s beautiful,” you said quietly, getting lost in the beauty of the stars. ”The sky.”

”Not only the sky,” Ghost said without thinking.

You bit into your lower lip as he continued to study you. You wished you could read his feelings because his silence was both pleasant and irritating at the same time.

”What are you doing here, Cobra?” Ghost asked.

You felt too exposed under his gaze, so you leaned on your elbows for support.

”Price misses you,” you answered gently. ”Everyone is celebrating.”

Ghost slowly shook his head and put grabbed the edge of the roof that stopped you from falling down.

”No, I mean… Why are you here?” Ghost asked, his deep voice pulling at your heartstrings.

When you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but honest confusion.

”Because I want to put an end to this,” you said and he looked away for a second.

”Put an end to this?” Ghost asked.

You wiped your hair out of your face, swallowing the lump in your throat. Suddenly, it was hard for you to breathe calmly.

You backed away from the edge and his eyes never stopped following you. Not even for a brief second.

Because Ghost’s mind was full of possible things that would happen now that you came after him.

He hated it to admit, but the most believable thing that crossed his mind was that you’d end up quitting for good.

Which was the last thing he wanted you to do.

Pain darkened his heart as he watched your uneasy movements. He knew you very well to realize that it was because you weren’t comfortable in his presence. And he wished he could do something to change that.

”Everything that happened back there…” you started in a small tone. ”It was pure chaos. But I guess that’s nothing new if someone betrays you…”

Ghost watched you with suspicious eyes, not daring to interrupt you.

It was surprising to see such a tall and big man being unsure in the presence of a fragile and vulnerable woman.

”I was unprofessional and panicked when I heard Soap on the radio,” you continued. ”I listened to my heart instead of listening to you. There is a reason that you became a lieutenant and not me, I know. I wasn’t thinking clearly because all I could think was that Soap and Rodolfo might die if we didn’t do something… It was out of line that I ran away and listened to myself. I owe you an apology because you are the one that makes decisions and orders, not me… I’m sorry.”

Your words burnt into Ghost’s mind while he slowly dropped his gaze to the ground. He hadn’t expected you to ever come up with an honest apology for what you just did.

He felt his muscles relax as you were waiting for his answer with big and sad eyes.

But he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to handle apologies.

You felt your heart sink as you took his silence in, fearing that your apology meant nothing to him.

”I’ll talk with Price in the morning,” you said in a defeated tone. ”I’ll tell him to replace me with someone else.”

Ghost’s grip tightened a little, ”Why would you do that?”

You dragged your nail over the corner of your lips.

”Because it will make things easier.”

”I don’t think it would.”

His answer confused you for a second, ”You told me it was better for me to just leave, so that’s what I’m going to do. You can’t allow someone in your team who doesn’t follow orders.”

Ghost swallowed as your eyes burnt his skin. Now that he knew why were you thinking that, he felt guilt pulling him down into an endless hole.

”I don’t want you to resign,” he said. ”I was mad and didn’t think before speaking. You are a good soldier and I trust you.”

You could feel your heart in your throat as he was letting you inside his head.

”I just wish that you trusted me,” he added and you pressed your lips into a thin line.

”I do.”

Ghost narrowed his eyes a little, ”I don’t think you did today.”

You knew that he had every right to doubt you after the shit you had pulled.

”I’m sorry,” you repeated.

Ghost frowned before sighing, ”Don’t apologize for helping Soap and Rodolfo. You did what you had to, not leaving your teammates behind, you were loyal.”

You would have never expected him to say those words and now that it hung in the air between you, you couldn’t help but let go of your guilt.

”I just lost my head when I saw that you weren’t with me in the next second,” Ghost said. ”I was worried sick while you were gone, that’s why I lashed out. We can’t lose you.”

I can’t, Ghost wanted to add but he thought he already talked enough.

”You hurt me, Simon,” you whispered, lowering your gaze.

Those four words broke Ghost’s heart, especially after hearing your sad voice. He hated that he caused you to doubt yourself for even a second.

He liked it when you called him his real name but not in a way like this. It felt like a thorn in his heart hearing how sad his name sounded from falling off your tongue.

Instead of saying anything, he reached out to you. His heart sank when he saw you hesitate whether you should take his hand or not.

It also reminded him of how quick you were to step away from him while you were arguing a few hours ago.

He didn’t want to be scary like his father but his presence didn’t make that easy for him. He was intimidating and emotionally unstable after all.

”I won’t hurt you. I would never do that.” Ghost said softly. ”I promise.”

You were the last person he wanted to scare and he was ready to do anything to prove you that.

You carefully placed your hand in his cold and large one, then held your breath when his fingers closed around you.

You let him slowly pull you toward him until your chests almost touched. You were never this close to him and just wished that he didn’t hear your crazy heartbeat.

What you didn’t know was that he was just as nervous as you were. He was familiar with physical closeness from his one-night stands but it was different with you. With someone whom he cared about.

”I shouldn’t have told you those things.” Ghost admitted shamefully.

”You were right,” you tried to defend his outburst even if the single memory of his words still cut you open.

Ghost looked down at your hand resting on his, briefly shaking his head.

”My job is to lead you and not guilt you,” he answered.

You tried to hide your sadness but it was hard to. You could still hear his anger-filled voice in your head after you helped Soap to safety.

”I understand your reaction,” you said, your heart beating fast in your ribcage. ”But that didn’t give you the right to talk to me the way you did.”

Ghost sighed and let go of your hand. You tried to ignore how much you started missing his touch as he withdrew, many thoughts clouding his head.

You watched in silence as he took a few steps back until he felt a chair in the back of his leg. Then, he sat down, his hand running up on the side of his balaclava.

”I know,” his voice was silent. Too silent.

You wanted to know what was going on with him but you didn’t want to push his buttons. You didn’t want to cross a line that would drag you down a hill.

It was enough once to have him raising his voice at you which was something he had never done before.

”If you don’t want to work with me just say it,” you nudged him, reminding him of his words. A part of you had a feeling that half of the things he had said to you were true even though you wished none of it were but as paranoia crept into your head, the darker your mind has become.

Ghost let out a breath and reached up, grabbing the top of his balaclava, and pulling it off his head with an abrupt move.

His face was agitated and troubled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

You remembered how it felt to see his face the first time, feeling extremely respected that he trusted you enough to take his mask off.

Something stirred inside you as you watched his uncovered face and you wished the circumstances were different.

”I don’t want you to go, Cobra,” his concerned eyes found you.

Shivers ran down your spine as you watched this troubled big man trying to reason with you almost desperately. You didn’t know why but it made you feel worse than the argument he had just started with you a few hours ago.

”Then stop saying things you don’t mean,” you advised but a little firmness hid in your voice. You didn’t want to give in that easily.

Ghost studied you carefully before reaching out for your cold hand. You didn’t push him away as he took a gentle hold of your arm and pulled you toward him. You didn’t dare breathe as the distance increased between you two. Then, without a warning sign, Ghost pulled you down and helped you sit on his lap.

You could feel your cheeks burn as you took a seat on his thighs, his right hand snuck around your waist while the other landed across your knees.

You were never this close or intimate with each other.

Ghost was a nervous wreck as he tried to steady his breath while making sure that his arms were holding you steady.

”I won’t, I promise,” he said in a soft tone that shook your heart for a moment.

You had never heard him being this gentle and careful with you, this whole situation was an unknown and dangerous territory to you. And you hated how unpredictable he was.

”You scared me today,” he admitted, his hot breath touching your cheeks.

You dropped your gaze shamefully to his tattooed hand resting on your knees. Everything was so chaotic that you didn’t even stop to think about how your action would affect Ghost.

Ghost leaned closer and lifted your jaw then turned your head back to his slowly. You had no choice but to let him and when your eyes locked, you felt the back of your throat tighten.

His worry was as clear as water in his eyes, his sadness took hold of your heart, not letting it go.

”I’m sorry, Simon,” you said, his name softly leaving your lips.

His eyes cleared for a moment as your words were floating in the air between you before he dropped his forehead to yours.

You instantly closed your eyes and so did he as your heads softly touched.

”Just… promise me that you’ll never do anything like that ever again…” he begged softly. ”I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.”

You felt your lips quiver a little at the pain dripping from his tone. He was the last person you expected to be worried for you. Over the years he wasn’t that open regarding his feelings and now that you broke through his walls, you didn’t know how to react.

You didn’t want to scare him but also didn’t want to make him think that he meant nothing to you.

”I won’t do anything like that ever again,” you whispered, using his words, then he let out a relieved sigh. ”I didn’t want to scare you.”

Ghost pressed his lips together, a frown taking over his face.

”When will you finally see how much you mean to me?”

His words felt like a knife through your heart. It warmed you to realize that you were so close to him that he wouldn’t want to lose you but you knew that feelings always made things complicated.

You tried to ensure him by softly pushing at his chest, causing him to open his eyes, however, he still didn’t move his head away from yours and neither did you.

”Careful with feelings, Lt…” you gave him a small smile. ”They make things complicated.”

Ghost’s eyes shined with amusement as he watched you with admiration. He really was lucky that nothing had happened to you.

”Something tells me that I’m already doomed.”

He pulled his head away an inch, then lifted it until his lips were able to connect with your forehead. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest as he left a long and tender kiss on your forehead without the slightest worry in the world.

You enjoyed the soft touch of his lips as long as you could before he pulled away, his hands still holding you close to him. There was something vibrating between your bodies and you wondered if he could feel it too.

”This is a dangerous game, Simon.”

Despite your warning words, you earned an honest but small smile from the scariest and toughest soldier you’ve ever met.

”I'll risk it all then."

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Can I ask for more soft headcanons of Helen as a boyfriend? I need more of Helen please

Yesssss that's my boyyyy I love Helen so much, thank you for this I missed him. I hope you enjoy :)

The longer Helen is dating you, he starts to notice a habit developing inside him. In your early days of dating, you'd offer to sit near him quietly while he does his art, and he'd accept on the condition that you don't bother him too much. Oh, how the times have changed. You'd gradually start talking to him more, and he'd start gradually talking to you more too, and now Helen can't finish an art piece unless he has you by his side telling him about your day, or anything at all you want to ramble about. He's become conditioned into needing your presence while he does any art, which is crazy to him because younger Helen before he met you would be aghast at the thought, but the longer he dates you the more he wants to be around you at any chance he can get. You energize and inspire him, and he finds that he loves any art he makes beside you to be his best work.

Started doing pottery recently as a way to branch out and learn more things, and he tries to make stuff for you all the time. It all started when you pointed out a really cute mug you'd seen online that was out of stock, and with his newfound pottery hobby, he offered to try and make it for you. After it was painted and fired, you were just so extremely excited about it, so giddy and bouncy, something switched on in his brain, and now the poor guy cannot stop wanting to make you more things. The smile you gave him just fucking wrecked him inside, and he needs to see it again. Also??? Would love it if you try and do some pottery with him too. He'll teach you how to do it if you don't already know, and the prospect of making and painting different pottery together is just so relaxing and enjoyable to Helen, so please make sure to do that with him. I'm also headcanoning that one of the first pottery things he made you was a vase, and he always keeps it filled with fresh flowers for you.

Helen has been manifesting a bit of a sweet tooth lately, and that comes in the form of him constantly trying to bake new things, and often baking them for you. I've said before he loves cooking for you (especially high-quality French food as he's French in my canon), so it's only natural that when he gets into baking, he wants you to try all the things he makes and enjoy them with him. I think Helen really enjoys baking because he can also use it as an artistic endeavor, baking and decorating beautiful desserts. Whenever you praise him for them, saying they look and taste wonderful, it always excites him and makes him feel proud, because your opinion is the one he's come to value most. Like with his art, he likes when you're in the kitchen whenever he's baking or cooking for you, and you're the only person he allows in there. He'll have you sit at the kitchen island and talk with him while he whips something up, and he likes to decorate them in front of you so you can see the whole process. Doing things like this for you is just so stress relieving for him, so it's something he tends to do quite often. He's also always taking requests, so if you ever have a hankering for something don't be afraid to ask him for it.

[flowercrowngods]

why must i think of prisoners Ranger!Steve and Bard!Eddie so constantly and why must they be so tender and why hhhh

Steve’s whole body is made of pain, and has been for the past few days. His feet are aching and raw from trying to keep up as they were bound to horses and dragged along. His skin is chafed and bleeding where the unforgiving rocks have managed to destroy his clothes after one too many falls, and every smallest of cuts feels like his body is nothing more than a pulsating mess. 

Worst of all, though, is the dizziness. He doesn’t know if his head is still bleeding or if the wetness he can feel running down his temple is his body’s testament to the unfamiliar heat, but it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. 

There’s only pain. And nausea. His eyes are open but he needs a second to understand what he’s seeing — and what he’s seeing is a ceiling made of sand coloured stone. Distantly, he hears a door clanging shut, but that might just as well be a memory. 

He’s going to throw up. Tough luck when you don’t even know where up is. 

A groan leaves his mouth as he tries to take a deep breath and fails miserably. Instead, he can add two broken ribs to the list of misery. 

Gods above — whichever of them are listening — he’s tired. But he fears that if he closes his eyes, he might not open them anymore for the sheer release that would bring. He can’t sleep, can’t rest, not when— 

“Easy now,” a gentle voice interrupts his less than coherent thoughts and just moments later, a tender hand is combing through his blood-crusted hair. “You shouldn’t move, my friend. There’s nowhere to move to anymore.” 

Steve frowns, his brain trying and failing to provide any information at this point. The hits to his head must have been worse than he thought if his short term memory refuses to work with him anymore. 

“We have reached Capital City,” the voice continues and Steve has to blink the fog away to make out its owner. When he does, it must show in his eyes, for the worry in Theodore Munson’s eyes makes way to the briefest of smiles before returning even stronger than before. “Do you not recall?”

Steve just stares up at him. That’s all his wrecked body and mind allow him to do right now. That’s all they want to do when gentle hands comb through his hair and chase away some of the pain. 

It is then that reality slowly comes back to him and he realises where he is. Where they are. What is at stake if they fail any more, if they decide to torture information on Elanor and William out of them — out of him. He’s not sure how much he can take. They have been held prisoner for weeks. Steve has been hurting for even longer.

Shame rises in him and he has the urge to apologise to Jim, to explain, but moving his head to the side, he sees that his old master isn’t any better off. He appears to be sleeping, his face bruised, and a teary-eyed Maxine is wiping blood away from his face with a piece of her cloak. 

Steve blinks once, twice, and takes in the man who practically raised him, watches the steady rise and fall of his chest and listens, beyond the pulsing rush of his own blood, that his lungs are not rattling. Shame makes way to satisfaction when he sees that none of their party has taken as many hits, kicks and punches as himself. His distractions have worked, then. 

That’s good. Now if only they didn’t make him so nauseous. So tired. So…

“Don’t fall asleep, Steven,” Eddie demands, and the world tilts slightly, which makes everything worse until… soft. It’s softer now. 

Eddie has moved him so his head is resting in his lap now. 

“You don’t look too good, Ranger. Sleep is dangerous in your state, no matter how badly you might need it. Give it a few hours, please.” 

A beat passes where Steve tries to process the words that are just too many. Since when does Eddie talk with him so much? 

“Lies,” he says after a while and with greater effort than should be necessary.

“Lies?” 

“I look very good. You just can’t see it under all the blood and the bruises.” He tries to crack a smile, but even the huffed breath jolts his head too much. 

Eddie does him the favour of a brief chuckle, and Steve feels better for it. Lighter. Light is good, he finds. Maybe all he has to focus on is Eddie and his hands working out the clumps of dirt and blood from his hair, maybe all he has to to is make him smile and the world will be a bit less painful. 

His world narrows down to all the ways Eddie is close to him and it does keep him occupied, but it also gets his mind wandering, the adrenaline of the past days wearing off. 

“Keep doing that and I will fall asleep,” he says after another beat of silence. Fall asleep and dream. Dream of what this could mean. Dream of smiles that make me feel lighter. 

“Keep doing what?” Eddie asks, and Steve senses a trick to just keep him talking, no matter how slurred his speech is. He needs a moment to remember what he said.

“This,” he says eventually, and Eddie only hums. Finding words is hard. He tries. And tries again. “Being gentle.” 

Another smile, and Steve wants to close his eyes to keep it there to hold on to. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, my friend.” 

“Can’t not be gentle?” He’s losing force on the consonants. The pain is getting stronger, his nerve endings more frayed and his vision blurry. This is familiar. He gives himself another quarter of an hour at most before he will lose his consciousness, no matter how hard he tries to stay here. With Eddie and his wavering smile. 

“Not with my friends, no.” 

This time it’s Steve who smiles at the word friends. He likes to be Eddie’s friend. The man, as it turns out, is admirable, he’s strong, he’s wise when he wants to be and gentle with young Maxine. He’s kind, he’s quick-witted and patient, and his hands are impossibly soft. 

“I know you said not to sleep, and I’m not normally one to deny a well-respected bard’s command, but…” He swallows. Words are hard. He’s not sure they come out as planned, but he perseveres. “I’m afraid I have to prove to you now just how stubborn the Queen’s Rangers can be.” 

Another hum from above him and Steve opens his eyes he hadn’t even noticed closing. The world is fading, but still Eddie is at its centre. 

“I’ll be here when you wake up, then, stubborn Ranger.” 

Will you smile at me still? Steve wonders. 

“Always,” Eddie says, but before Steve has time to wonder if someone else has said something, darkness has swallowed him whole.

[sp-by-april]

Reader takes one of those chocolates or candies that makes you incredibly horny and it’s finals season (college) and so boyfriend!kyle is super locked in with his work and she’s super needy but he won’t do anything with her cuz he really has to study but by the end of the day he cracks and gives her everything she wants and she wants it ROUGH and HARD but loving at the same time

Sorry he may have cracked a little early 😅

Kyle x F!Reader

[Submit a prompt!] [Kyle Broflovski Master List]

It was time for finals and everyone I knew was a nervous wreck, including myself.

I needed to unwind. I was hanging out with a friend smoking and vibing when she brought out a little red tin that had four pieces of chocolate in it. The pieces each had a little mushroom on it so I figured I could eat one then walk back to my dorm and have a fun trip. It was just shrooms, right? I was so wrong. It was jammed packed with herbal supplements and nootropics to act as an aphrodisiac.

By the time I was walking, I was soaking wet just from my thighs moving. I decided to make this my boyfriend’s problem. Besides, Kyle’s dorm was a lot closer and if I didn’t get some relief, I thought I might explode.

I let myself in and Kyle was busy studying on his computer. He always got intense when big exams came up but this was another level. He barely acknowledged me.

I leaned down and kissed his neck, “You should take a break,”

“I really can’t,”

“Please?” I whined, “I need you,”

He looked over at me suspiciously, “What’s going on?”

I spoke as quickly as possible as I ripped off the band-aid, “I took something and now I’m soaking wet and if you don’t fuck my brains out, I think I might literally, actually die,”

He rolled his eyes, “I told you to stop experimenting with that shit,”

“I know,” I sighed as I unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor, “Scold me while you fuck me, I don’t care,”

He groaned, “Don’t get me wrong, I want to – But I didn’t really budget in the time and I’m worried I might be behind already,”

I unhooked my bra, and threw it on the bed, “Kyle, you’re the smartest guy I know. You’ve never been behind anyone,”

I hooked my thumbs in my panties.

“I wish you were behind me,” I smirked as I slid my underwear down to my thighs.

Kyle finally looked at me now that I was basically naked next to him. I slipped my hand between my legs, the second my fingers brushed over my clit, my legs twitched.

Kyle’s breath hitched as he watched me. He started stroking his hard-on through his pants.

“Come on,” I said gently as my fingertips spread my desire along my slit, “It’ll be fun,”

He took his hand off himself and gripped the handles of his chair, “I really can’t,”

I sighed as I finally slid my panties down to my ankles and kicked them off, “Please don’t make me beg,”

I watched his cock twitch and I knew I had him.

“I will,” I said, climbing into his lap, “But I don’t want to,”

“Fucking ask again,” He groaned as my hands slipped between us to free him.

I unbuttoned, unzipped him and soon I had his stiff, sticky cock in my soft little hand, “Please, fuck me Kyle. I really need you. All I can think about is how fucking amazing you’d feel filling me up,”

His mouth locked onto mine and his tongue pushed right in.

I slid my wet slit over his tip as our tongues turned over each other.

I gasped when I finally sank down onto him. God, Kyle always felt good, but this was on another level. I was almost afraid to move because it felt like the slightest thing would make me come.

He held onto my waist as I started to rock my hips.

I was right. I came hard and fast. I moaned loudly and my body tensed up as my first orgasm surged through my body. He groaned into me as my core tightened and gripped him.

Kyle’s hand slid over my cheek as I panted, “You really are sensitive,”

I nodded and started slowly moving over him again.

He pulled me into a deep kiss and what happened next surprised me a little.

“You’re lucky you feel so fucking good,” His hand dropped to my hips and he started shifting up into me. Slowly at first and then a little faster and harder.

Then a lot faster and even harder.

I was right, he did feel fucking amazing.

The way Kyle was slamming up into me was making me delirious. He held my hips so tightly I thought I might have bruises. All I could do was whine and take it as he thrust up into me rougher and rougher.

“Is this too much?” He asked as he savored the pathetic noises that I made, “I’ve gone a lot harder on you,”

“It’s – You’re –” I stammered and he thrust up into me so hard that my whole body jumped.

He licked at my lips, “That’s what I thought,”

I grabbed his face and sealed my mouth back onto his. The wet, wanton sounds of our bodies filled the room along with our moans and it was so intoxicating.

I couldn’t stop this one either. My head lolled back as my spine arched and every muscle in my body seized up in a way I’d never experienced before. The soft, silky walls inside of my core fastened up around him and gripped him so tight that each thrust started to hurt a little. I didn’t care. I was overcome with pure, radiating bliss.

Kyle groaned in my mouth and his hips bucked up into me hard. I could feel his cock pulsing intensely as he pumped spurt after spurt of wet, sticky pleasure inside of me.

He pulled his hands from my hips and cupped my cheeks.

I scanned his face as I panted and he smirked at me.

“If you’re gonna get this needy and sensitive every time…” Kyle left a small kiss on the corner of my mouth, “You need to call your friend and get some more,”

[hellishjoel]

every rose has its thorns

1.6k / pairing: mike schmidt x f!reader

← masterlist | notifications blog

summary: mike really likes your white panties with the pretty rose on the front.

warnings/information: soft/sub!mikey whilst still being on top (king), thumb sucking, pet names (angel!), mike using reader to unwind, panty play, size kink, coming wherever he likes ;) 

A/N: holy hell just realized this is my first non-pedro-universe-character piece! woohoo! I finally watched fnaf with a girlfriend of mine and with inspiration from a naughty twitter video, I wrote this! I have to give @cupofjoel a huge thank you, please read her entire mike schmidt masterlist, you will not regret it! I wrote this very ill with covid and on mikey brain rot (it's so bad I might have typed mark schmidt instead of mike x.x) so if there’s any errors, apologies are stated now. also thank you to @saradika-graphics for the fnaf banners!

It all started with a pair of panties. A simple brief-style pair, the material rounding around the curves of your ass and ducking pretty between your thighs. White cotton. A small rose embroidered on the front. Untouched, perfectly clean, pristine. Just like you. Unlike Mike. 

Mike was all dark boxer briefs, the kind that clutched onto his thick thighs and cupped his lower half for dear life. Or the plaid purple and black boxers he was wearing now accompanied by a bowl of cereal that he was eating after a late night at work, now an early morning. Often shirtless when he was in the privacy of his own room, you had the opportunity to admire his dark, curly chest hair that was speckled across his chest and thinned out across his torso before filling out again at the start of his happy trail.  

“Thanks for taking care of Abby,” he said with his mouth half full of Trix, “did she get on the bus alright?” 

You nod weakly, gently nudging the back of your hand against your tired eyes. 

“Yeah. But I think she misses you at night. I can never soothe her like you can when she has nightmares.” 

You watch as Mike sighs and tips the cereal bowl back, the sweet milk dribbling at the corners of his mouth and making small trails around his pretty pink lips. The ceramic bowl chimes as he sets it down on his bedside table, watching from the pillows as he crawls up the bed to join you. The early morning light peaks through his curtains and highlights his dark eyes amber. Your thumb traces his lower lip, and he truly can’t wait any longer. He needs you now.

He spent all last night fantasizing about you. Head down with his arms folded along the security desk, eyes previously on the security monitors now heavily closed as he listens to the sounds of nature. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking about you, he had more important things to dream about. But you kept appearing, enticing him, wearing those pretty little panties that he can’t get enough of. The white pair with a rose on the front. The pair he comes home to most mornings once Abby has left for school. The pair you’re wearing now. 

Knowing how desperate you both are, you let him guide you how he pleases on the bed. After long night shifts, his routine is to come home and fuck you in the comfort of his dark grey sheets before he falls asleep with your body cuddled in beside his. He pulls you by the ankle to the edge of the bed, legs spread and bent as you nip at your lower lip with a certain eagerness unfolding in the base of your belly. 

Mike’s thumbs hook into his plaid boxers, pushing them down until they do the rest of the work, naturally falling and looping around his ankles. He’s already half hard just from looking at you, dreaming about you. He wouldn’t last long looking as wrecked as he was. Tight jaw and fixated eyes, drunk on need and just a little bit of control with his tornado of a life. 

“Mike,” you whisper, cupping his cheeks and letting him fold over your body as you feel his hips rest heavily between your thighs, “s’okay, want you to get off however you like.” You cradle his face and kiss the tip of his nose while his long eyelashes flutter in comfort. 

“I know, angel. I’m here with you.” His voice is like heaven, drenched in a sweet honey that you’ve found yourself addicted to. You sit up on your elbows as Mike helps navigate your shirt off, admiring the curve of your breasts and the embellishment of your collarbones. So perky and pretty. He praises them with his warm mouth and tongue that can’t help but swirl around your taut peaks. He grunts softly against your soft skin as his hips lightly rut into yours, making your head drift back and forth in his sheets with bliss. 

“Fuck, I just,” he mutters quietly against your goosebump-riddled skin, “I love these.” He whispers as he slowly moves to stand up straight once again, his cock resting over the material of your white panties. He’s entranced by the red petals of the rose, the two dark greens that make up the stem and its thorns. Your eyes trail down to his beady red tip, leaking precum that you desperately yearn to kitten lick. 

“Every rose has its thorns,” Mike whispers, a raspy edge to it from the lack of sleep he desperately craves. You run your hands down your delicate body, hooking your thumbs in at your hips to your underwear, but Mike stops your movements. 

“However I like?” He echoes your statement from earlier, to which you give him a soft nod.

Mike’s always been soft with you, gentle, caring. You think he gets it from being an older brother, the type that has to be the parent most times instead of an actual brother. But when he steps into the bedroom, and Abby is elsewhere, his mind can drift away into being whoever he likes, however he likes. Merciless, rough, desperate, needy, sweet. Everything that made him unwind was all shared with you. And for that, you felt thankful. You could be the key to his lock, the one that kept his head up from drowning with the overflowing responsibilities he always managed to juggle at the final second. You were the one person he could fall apart with, and everything would be completely fine. 

So when his hand started to stroke up and down his cock, making your mouth water for a certain desire, you were eager to help him unwind. Lose his mind in a little slice of heaven. The pad of his thumb slowly begins to stroke up and down your clothed center, eliciting a desperate whimper from your lips as he circles over your sensitive nub. He could see it through your underwear with how aroused you were growing. Your clit swelled for affection. 

A small wet spot starts to grow, an embarrassing little pool that shows through the white cotton of your panties, just at the sprout of the rose. You let out a shaky breath as Mike traces the looping pattern with his forefinger. He then peels the material gently away from your sticky center, laying his thirsty cock between your folds before he lets the underwear blanket you both. He barely fits inside the dainty material. His cock swells with volume and makes your panties stretch to accommodate. He was large. And all yours. 

You whimper in need, hoping for more but realizing you could get off just like this. 

His breaths are already labored as he starts to thrust, feeling his tip nudge your clit with every beat. You fist the sheets, letting him use you like a wet little toy. He’s not sure what to do with his hands at first. They start on keeping your legs spread at the underside of your thighs, before one settles on your hip and the other is cupping your cheek. Not long after, his thumb pushes past the plushness of your lips, forcing you to suckle and moan around the intrusion. 

Your eyes stay connected, a silent bond between you both. This is a safe space for you, come unraveled before me. 

The next time you look down, the pooling of liquid from his cock has stained your panties. And he has no remorse. Your lips part at the truly dirty sight. He’s leaked so much that your panties have become nearly translucent. You can see the pink of his tip with each thrust and the curve of his shaft.

You grow even wetter, feeling him slip up and down your arousal-filled heat, each thrust making you moan weakly. A shiver rolls up your spine, your walls squeezing around nothing as the coil inside of you twists tighter and tighter. 

Mike cages you with his body as he leans down and kisses you in a distracted way, one that leaves his lips parted against yours as he airs out a few soft grunts while his thrusts slowly falter. 

“Mike, please,” you moan softly against the stubble that lines his cheek, your nose gently gliding against it as you tilt your head back into his mattress, feeling yourself come undone to his thrusts. 

His forehead clustered with sweat sinks desperately into your neck, sponging kisses and moaning weakly as he rids himself of his latest dirty fantasies. He gasps and grunts against your throat as he finishes with hot spurts against the material of your panties, making your jaw drop as you feel the seething warm cum spill and dribble along your stomach and inner thighs. 

Your hearts race in sync, feeling the post-orgasmic high that you catch every morning these days. His cock is still buried in your panties, your hole untouched, and your clit singing with fresh sensitivity. You kiss his earlobe and smile against his skin. 

“You’ve been wanting to do that for a while?” You ask curiously, coiling a dark curl around your finger before it springs loose. 

“Shit,” he mutters weakly, hazy eyes meeting yours as you sweetly kiss his parted lips once more. “M’sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” 

You simply shake your head and wipe the small bead of sweat that neared his eyebrow. “Don’t have to apologize for anything. You already know that.” 

He sighs weakly, but it’s of appreciation. He smiles despite how tired he feels, sponging your cheeks and chin with gentle kisses as he interlocks your hands by your head. “I love you. Mean it.” 

“With all your heart?” You ask.

He nods tightly and pulls your clasped hands to his warm chest. “With all my heart.” 

hellishjoel masterlist | notifications blog

[lolasimms]

a lots gonna change pt.9

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues, and things change

I’m all of you guys’ mother and I will continue to feed you, also please don’t hate me :)

next chapter

The past four months and a half had been torture for you, it was as if there was an ongoing battle occurring in your brain. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. The question; "Should I stay or should I go" engrained itself in your head. When finally you'd decided to go through with the divorce.

You'd had the support from your family and friends who assured you that you were doing the right thing. You'd gotten yourself a place not too far from your ex, to ensure Lila wasn't far from her. You had Lila during the week, with Ellie occasionally taking her for weekends, just until your custody date was settled. You'd both come to a mutual agreement that the best thing for the two of you was to seperate. However Ellie still had moments in which she would spiral and try and get you to take her back, but you never complied.

Your sister Nara took it upon herself to fly out to come support you and you couldn't have been happier to have her with you. With the support of her, Joel, Dina and Jesse you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders,like you wouldn't have to be doing it all alone anymore. You also began seeing a therapist, except this time it was on your own, her name was Francine, and she was the best piece of solace you'd had. She'd truly made you feel like you'd be able to heal from all the damage that had been done.

Work was a great distraction, at first Abby had kept her distance and respected your need for space. Until you'd realised she only wanted to be there for you. You'd let her in, little by little only wanting to take things slow. Nothing sexual had happened between the two of you, as you still didn't feel right being touched by anyone other than Ellie. For years she was the only person you'd grown accustomed to and it frightened you to think about letting anyone other than her in.

Going through with the divorce was difficult but you only wanted what was best for Lila, and that was ending the relationship between you and Ellie and beginning a healthy co-parenting one. You knew getting back with Ellie would only mean you'd be in a relationship where you struggled with trust issues and insecurity. You just wanted the two of you to remain civil. That was exactly why you had decided not to fight Ellie for full custody, you'd give her an equal opportunity to bond and build a relationship with her daughter.

-

You can just take a seat over here Ms. Y/LN."  You we're still growing accustomed to not going by Ellie's last name, yours sounding foreign. The attorney as motions to the chair on his right. You hesitantly take a seat, then steal a quick glance at Ellie who is sitting across from you, her lawyer is seated to her left.

"Alright, we may start the proceedings now, Mr. Reynolds would you like to start" her defence asks, as he looks up at your lawyer.

"Sure, as displayed here my client is set on joint custody, with no asks for alimony or spousal support, she want's this to be fair and easy"

Ellie looks up at you in relief and visibly relaxes in her seat. You steal a glance at her but quickly look to the floor, to avoid making any further eye contact. You were a nervous wreck, the lump in your throat making you feel the need to scratch yourself, bite your nails, anything to make time pass.

"Ok, well if that is the case, Mrs. Williams would like to have her daughter on Friday to Sundays, due to work scheduling, is that okay with the defendant?" You nod your head at your lawyer, and he proceeds.

"Yes, my client is okay with that, however I'd like to discuss the deeds of the house. The two of them bought this house with the intent of sharing 50-50 assets, her name is on the papers so how would the defendant like to settle that?" You finally bring your gaze up to see Ellie, who's eyes were already on yours. She was fidgeting with her wedding ring, which she was still wearing despite your divorce being finalised weeks ago.

"My client doesn't mind, Mrs. Williams says Y/n can have the house, after all she will be the primary caretaker of their daughter" her lawyer says and you finally take it upon yourself to be vocal.

"I don't want it" you say, voice low and barely above a whisper, and your attorney turns to you with a glare. "We talked about this Y/n, this is a great deal for you" he whispers and you shake your head.

"No, I'd like for her to keep it, and I want my name off of the papers" you say aloud, and Ellie's hands visibly tense. It was the first time in months she had heard you speak more than three words. You try fighting back tears, but of course they come, flowing freely down your face and you wipe them in embarrassment.

"Alright, then that's settles it, anything else you'd like to discuss?" Her defence asks and your lawyer shakes his head no. The both of them stand up and shake hands, and your lawyer walks you out of the room, to congratulate you.

-

"Thank you Mr. Reynolds, I'm glad you were able to make it as easy and as fast as possible" He smiles and pats your shoulders.

"Please, call me Matt and its what I do, I'm just glad you got your clarity" his phone begins to vibrate and he picks it out of his pocket to respond.

"Im, sorry Y/N but it's my sons school I've got to get going, but I'm glad everything worked out in your favour"

"Thats fine, and once again thank you so much for everything" you wave him goodbye as he speed walks down the steps of the courthouse and you are left standing there in the heat, as you wait for your sister to come pick you up.

"Y/n?" you know who's voice it is, never in a million years would your forget her voice, and immediately you tense up at the touch of her hand that was on your shoulder.

"Can we talk?" Ellie asks, and you promptly remove her hand from your shoulder, leaving her red from embarrassment.

"I said everything I needed to, inside there Ellie" you refuse to make eye contact with her and she sighs desperately. She wears a simple black suit, the button of her blazer was left unopened and she had cut her hair a tad bit shorter than usual.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I have to say it but I truly am sorry, I love you Y/n" she whispers, with tears in her eyes.

"You lied to me Ellie, we went to therapy and the whole time you were lying to me, you made me feel like a fool"

"I was doing it for your own good, I thought what you didn't know couldn't hurt you" You scoff and take a step down the stairs, desperately needing some space.

"Yeah cause it was 100 times easier to hear of your infidelity from Amelia" you spit, with sarcasm, the disdain for her ex-lover evident in your voice.

"I- Y/n she didn't mean anyth-" she tries but you cut her off swiftly.

"Don't fucking lie to my face and tell me she meant nothing, cause I know she did" Ellie sighs in frustration and runs a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry" she whispers again, for what felt like the 1 millionth time.

"You can say sorry as many times as you'd like but I won't forgive you. You got the house, you've got your sanity and you get to see Lila, just let me be." You say and before she can continue, you get a message from Nara telling you she was here.

"I'm leaving now Ellie, I hope you're happy"

-

"Why the fuck, did you let her take the house?" Your sister was grilling you as the two of you sat on the balcony of her hotel room, sipping on red wine.

"Nara, that house, I couldn't take even if I wanted to, the memories are just too much." You confess, as you glance at the view of the waterfront. Her words are tuned out as you gaze at the sailboats, as they paraded down the canal. One by one, they went and you watched in awe as the catamaran's glided on the dark blue body of water.

"Y/n?"

"Y/n?" Nara calls a second time, but you are entranced by the sailboats.

"I think I wan't to buy a catamaran" you blurt out, as you are broken out of your trance and she stares at you in disbelief.

"You hate the water" she laughs as she pours, more wine into your half empty glass and you bring it to your lips, taking a sip.

"People change" you mutter under your breath, she proceeds to put her hand in yours and the rest of your evening is spent in comfortable silence, indulged in glasses of wine, and the sound of crashing waves and friendly chatter from the hotel bar.

-

"Momma, when is mommy coming back?" Lila questions, from the sofa, where she was seated with a small brown doll in her lap.

Ellie looks up from her laptop, where she was completing some documents from work and swallows thickly. This was the part that you and her hadn't discussed, the part where you find the right thing to say to your 3 year old kid.

"Mommy's not coming honey, she'll come pick you up tomorrow" she shuts her laptop lid, and walks over to the sofa to sit with her.

"But mommy and momma sleep together and I sleep in my bed?" She mumbles, the young girl trying to piece together why her mothers had stopped sleeping in the same house and bed.

"Now mommy and momma sleep in their own beds, my love" Ellie soothingly rubs her back and lifts her into her lap. Where the rest of the movie they watch is complete in sheer silence. Lila falls asleep, on the sofa and she takes her up to the room, to sleep with her as she couldn't bare the feeling of being alone.

"I love you honey, when I'm awake and when I sleep, I love you" she whispers into her daughters hair, as she kisses her goodnight.

-

"Pink please, momma" Lila says as she holds her hand out. The two of them had been playing all afternoon and she couldn't have been happier. If it weren't for the time she got to spend with her daughter she wasn't sure she'd survive the separation.

"Here you go baby" Ellie immediately grabs the thick crayon and places it in the toddlers hand and she accepts it graciously.

"Ok, almost done, don't look yet" she says in a serious tone, and she knows to not look, as the last thing she needed was a tantrum from her sassy daughter.

"Pleaseee, can I look now?" She asks and Lila sighs dramatically and lifts the paper quickly to her chest.

"Ok fine, ready?" Ellie nods and when Lila turns the paper towards her with a nervous giggle.

"Wow... it's beautiful honey" She can feel tears brimming from her eyes and she has to fight to keep them from spilling. She had drawn a messy yet clear picture of the three of you holding hands. With the labels "Momma" "Mommy" and "Me".

"Do I get to keep it, baby?" She asks as she lifts her from the stool and pulls her into her embrace and she nods with a wide grin on her face.

Shortly after she had packed up the crayons and began to pack up her toys, Ellie was startled by a few knocks at the door. Lila perks up from the couch and runs over to the door and she has to speed walk to stop her from answering it.

"Mommy!" The toddler screams as she reaches her hands up for her mother and you instantly pick her up, showering her in kisses. She then notices her aunt and does the same, to which Nara pecks her cheek and smiles.

"Hi Y/n, Nara good to see you again" Nara ignores her and you mutter a simple "Hi" as you avoid eye contact, something you had started doing ever since the day you had found out about her cheating.

"Is her bag packed?" You ask and she mentally curses herself for forgetting that you'd be coming to pick Lila up so soon.

"Uhhh no, but I can do it real quick"

"It's fine, she'll get them next time" you trail off as you nervously look too your sister who nods. She looks at the both of you and you hand Lila to Nara.

"Lila say bye to your mom" Nara finally speaks and the young child kisses Ellie goodbye and is led off to the car by her aunt.

"Can we talk Ellie?" You ask and her heart rate speeds up, she's not sure if you had forgiven her, or if you had changed your mind on the divorce but she had positive hopes, as this was the first time since the split that you had asked to speak to her alone.

-

"So you bought a house?" She tries to make sense of your words.

"Yeah, it's not far from here so we don't have to drive too long and it's close to her preschool." She nods at your words and shifts uncomfortably, the silence killing the both of you.

"So I'll be coming back tomorrow to come pick up all my stuff, her stuff can stay here, I'll buy her new shit that'll stay at my place" you say.

"I wish you didn't have to do all of this, Y/n" she finally breaks her silence and you're left scoffing.

"I did this? That's rich coming from the person who cheated on me" you laugh maniacally as she looks at you in disbelief.

"I know, it's my fault. I can't even apologise because I know it won't make a difference but I won't stop fighting to get you back." You shake your head and get up, having had enough of her words.

"I mean it Y/n I'm not going to stop until I get you back"

"Good luck with that Ellie"

-

Abby was in her office when she'd gotten a text from your personal contact. You'd never texted her from your personal phone before so she was surprised. The past few months the two of you had spent friendly time together. She knew you'd wanted space, to take things slow, so she gave you exactly that. She didn't want to screw her only chance up.

'Can you come to my office please, it's urgent.'

She was worried something had happened so immediately she got up and rushed to your office down the hall. She knocked on the door and heard a light "Come in" As soon as she entered you'd gotten off of your seat walking towards her. You grabbed her face down towards yours and began kissing her fervently. She was stuck in place, not believing if this was real or she was dreaming. You were desperately clawing at her biceps, pulling her towards the sofa that was against your office wall.

"What's this about?" She mumbles into your mouth as you push your tongue into her mouth, grinding against her vigorously.

"It's a celebration, I'm a free woman and I think it's time I let you fuck me" Her stomach lurches at your words and she can't help but let out a hard moan.

"Should we be doing this here, what if someone comes in" she smiles as she unbuttons your satin blouse, peppering kisses against your neck.

"We can discuss all the ways that this is wrong after you've thoroughly fucked me" you don't know what's gotten into you, but you needed to feel her inside you or else you’d combust.

You were tired of waiting. Ellie had had her fun for five months straight, so why couldn't you? You'd waited until your divorce, kept Abby hanging but that was not how things were going to go now. It was finally time you focused on what was good for you.

taglist;

@moonlightdivine @maybe-cece @macaroni676 @sawaagyapong @katiemars @ellieseater @dakota-dream @joliettes @hebrokeimup @bratydoll @wakasaaa @catostrophiclesbian @l0v3e1i @dinas-a-bird

[musicofficial2024]

Megan Thee Stallion - Mamushi (feat. Yuki Chiba) Special Edition

[viburnt]

MORE BAKUGOU 🗣️🗣️🗣️

pretty pls

Wasn't sure what kind of Bakugo you wanted so...

CONTENT WARNING: Possessive and stalker behavior, bullying, rumors and gaslighting, seclusion, sexual themes, abuse. Dead dove, do not eat!

Bully! Bakugo and his outcast darling

You never quite understood why you didn't fit among your classmates, an odd look splashing their faces whenever you tried to engage with them. 'Maybe it's all my imagination,' you'd tell yourself in an effort to explain such behavior. Perhaps, you were just being dramatic.

You weren't.

People do avoid you, and not particularly because you've done something wrong. It's because of him. This bully carefully crafts an intricate web of lies and rumors, slowly but surely intoxicating people's minds; it's so easy to believe someone like him! His confidence and reputation making his word almost a truth. Doesn't take long for your classmates to form a distorted opinion of you.

Bakugo is the kind of bully that allows the roots of his obsession to go deep, his grasp creeping and filling every crack and crevice of your life. He wants to give you no option, no chances for you to escape him; Bully! Bakugo wants to be the only thing you can have, the only thing you need.

It starts with small things, whispered words into the hallways that reached the right people: slut, idiot, dumb... all kinds of names and crazy gossip stories eating your classmate's brains like worms to an apple. A new reputation for you, the sweet and stupidly unaware darling that you are.

You notice the uncomfortable ambience, the changes in the atmosphere, how people stop talking when you're around. It makes you feel scared, dreadful, and Bully! Bakugo is always there to bask on the worrisome frown your face has. He loves to play pretend, act as if your presence was bothersome and he's only pitying you, "reluctantly" giving you a shoulder to cry on.

The blond follows you around to see the results of his hard work, grinning with pride whenever you start having a mental breakdown in the bathroom or at the library. And he's always there to offer his company, in his own twisted way...

"Tch, you're so fucking annoying. Stop crying already, dammit!" "Have a fucking tissue and stop bothering me." "Fine, you can fucking cry in my shoulder..."

Bully! Bakugo loves fucking with your mind; the same hand that ruthlessly tears you bit by bit, feeds you copious amounts of sugar to keep you wrapped around his pinky finger. He enjoys making you doubt yourself, your choices, your everything... Always reminding how much of a waste of time you are, making you think you should be grarteful that he's even speaking to you.

"They don't like you," He says, "Why would they like a crybaby? I barely can stand you."

"Tch, stop crying already, I don't like that!" "S-sorry, I-I'll try to stop the tears."

Bully! Bakugo who likes pushing you around to do things you would never! If he wants you to do something (no matter the nature of the action), he'll first try to plant the idea and bother you with it over and over, and then, when you try to say no... "Tch, come on, don't be a fucking bore!" "I'm your only friend, aren't I?" "You'd be so lonely without me, can at least do this for me."

Master of guilt tripping.

Do I think he'd leave some sort of mark on you to scare others away? Yes. He already managed to wreck what little good reputation you could have, but he wants people to know that you're his property! It's very probable that he buys a piece of jewelry for your ears (earrings if you have or maybe piercings), or go for a more radical mark like a tattoo or scar. No, silly, you don't have a saying here!

He adores how desperate you look! Seriously, the fucker has a thing for making you cry, calling you the absolute worse in ways that your poor brain can't grasp. This Bakugo also enjoys baby talking to you, there's something about it that makes him feel in control (not to mention that the little leap of joy you do when he's slightly sweet to you makes his dick hard.)

Next stage for him is keeping you secluded. Trust me, he already did a fantastic murdering your social life, but now he takes it further. Oh, you wanna go to that school? Keep dreaming, you'll be by his side where he can have you at his heart's content. No, silly, you can't go anywhere without him; yes, he'll have his hand on the back of your neck everywhere. And don't think of making small talk with any friendly strangers! He'll chew you out for it.

This Bakugo doesn't normally go for his sexual desires with you, he is rather content with having a dumb little pet he can kick whenever he feels like. The topic is not exempt though, he'll have his leg between yours just to make you pathetically grind on it. If he feels particularly lustful, he'll spit on your face as he pushes you against the wall, having his way with groping and squeezing and-

"Curve your fucking back, pet! Fuck- Your stupid cunt is always ridiculously tight."

Overall a different kind of manipulator; compared to Stalker/Possessive! Izuku, this version of Bakugo has a different motto: wreck it down and build it to your fucking liking.

[gaybananabread]

Can we get headcanons for Hawks and Dabi? Is Dabi even ticklish, as a burnt piece of bacon?

🪶🧡Hawks & Dabi Tkl Headcanons🩵🔥

~And I’m back! Sorry for taking so long to get to my inbox, I live in shame (╥ᆺ╥；). I also got a req for some LOV hcs, so those should be out soon! These two doofs will forever hold a special place in my brain and I love it. Thank you for requesting!~

🩵Dabi🔥

General:

So the crispy-fried parts of him are ticklish, but to a degree. (continued in Lee)

He gives heavy ler-leaning switch vibes. Like, he’s always ready to wreck a bitch, but he’ll occasionally want some goofy affection.

Is incredibly embarrassed to admit he likes tickling. Will deny it until his last breath unless he’s “forced” to admit it.

Lee:

Only light tickling works on the scarred areas, maybe feathers or gentle tracing with nails

Even then, scarred bits only get him giggling softly.

It’s adorable and soft, which is exactly why he’ll kill almost anyone that tries.

He’s gotta be in the perfect mood, or so down-in-the-dumps that he doesn’t give a shit about what anyone does.

Main lers are Hawks, Twice and Toga. If anyone else does it, they’d better be wearing some wool and modacrylic suits.

Rough, airy giggles ranging to full-out cackling, depending on where and how you get him.

His worst spots are his belly button and armpits. If you go to town there, he’ll forget his name in no-time.

Melt spot is the area from under his chin and down to his collarbones.

That whole area is burned, but some gentle affection makes him happier than he’ll ever tell. Especially some tickly kisses to let him know they don’t care that he’s a lil’ crispy around the edges.

Ler:

Good luck and condolences to your diaphram-

He’s got a rough style, preferring to get his lee screeching over mere giggles. (if he cares, though, he’ll do what they prefer)

He’s not picky: he’ll wreck whoever in the main LOV-circle.

Most frequent flyers are Hawks and Twice (see the parallel?). He likes excuses, mainly giving out revenge tickles.

The teasiest bastard to ever walk the Earth. Like, seriously, man has no shame.

“That tickles? Better brace yourself, giggles: it only gets worse from here~” “Huh? Sorry, didn’t hear that over you laughing your ass off.” “Tickle tickle tickle, cutie~”

Would 100% do the Tickle Monster routine, but be genuinely terrifying about it. Long chases, anticipation builders, and raspberries/nibbles when he’s “hungry”

He’ll stop if the lee seriously asks, but other than that, goes until they’re wheezing.

Surprisingly nice aftercare: back rubs, light praise and occasionally cuddles if you’re good with puppy-dog eyes.

🧡Hawks🪶

General:

First off, this man has no shame in admitting he enjoys tickling.

He has “can say the t-word at any time” powers and abuses them whenever possible.

Birdy boy gives straight switch vibes. Down for a tickle fight, no matter what direction it goes for him.

Lee:

A lot more ticklish than most would think. Few actually try it, but those that have are pleasantly surprised.

He gets lee moods frequently, though they’re rarely taken care of. While he can admit he doesn’t mind tickling in general, asking to receive it is a lot harder.

When he is tickled, his laughter is bright and pitchy. That confident voice tends to crack when he’s laughing his feathers off.

Worst spot is his wings for sure, followed by his hips. If you dig into his wingpits, he’s a goner.

Melt spot is his stomach. He loves gentle belly traces, though he can’t handle kisses or nibbles there for too long.

His favorite ler is Dabi. He’s closest with him in the league, and the man knows how to get him laughing.

If the lee mood is really bad, he’ll sit near Dabi with his arms behind his head until he gets the message. If that doesn't work, it's annoying the hell out of the crispy boy.

Ler:

*Ehem*...the wings.

You know he uses those whenever possible to mess with friends and associates.

A stray feather hear, an accidental bring-brush there. Everyone knows he's doing it on purpose, but few actually try to prove it. After he finds out, even fewer succeed.

Purrs smug, teasy little compliments to his lee. Mans is cruel in the best way.

“Those seem like some adorable giggles. Mind sharing?” “What? You don't want me seeing this cute, squishy tummy? I don't see the problem, giggles~” “Loving these thighs of yours. So fun to squeeze and poke— the snorts are the best part!”

He “attacks” Dabi the most, mainly for mood-checks or just to be an ass.

After him, Twice is a regular. Whether it be for comfort after a “splitting” headache or just because, a few feathers will find their way to the villain.

Hawks doesn't really have a particular style besides “loveable asshole”

Depending on who's getting it, he'll go soft, rough, in the middle, feathers only: whatever the situation calls for.

Mainly cuddly aftercare: hugs, back rubs, a few spare teases, and maybe a snack if you're really drained. Wants to make sure his lee had fun over anything else.

[whisk3ysugar]

Okay, so I was holding off on posting this because it's wrecking my nerves. And it's driving me insane at the same time. I'm a perfectionist so that's cute. (No it's not.) But here's my first series/chapter/prologue/thing... <3

Prologue Summary: An Alchemax lab worker was successful on her own. Normal. Same routine every day. No straying from the usual path. Not until her own fear became apart of her. Not until she met him. The liberator. Protector. The leader. Miguel O’Hara.

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Violence (Soon), Mentions of Blood, No NSFW (Yet?), Terrible grammar errors (Probably), First post.

A/N: Like I stated before, this is my first writing piece on Tumblr. I also haven’t written in general for a WHILE.. So pls excuse the cute little imperfections <3 (I hope I can write chapters for this soon too!!!)

What exactly made you deserve landing in such a foreign.. and dangerous.. overall mysterious place?

It’s not like you remembered what even happened.

All you could remember now, was waking up on the cold floor below you. Head aching. What? Something was leaking from your head. Warm liquid made its way down your forehead as you tried to piece together your fuzzy thoughts. Where were you? Back at home? Surely this wasn’t your apartment in Brooklyn. But you couldn’t figure it out. Especially when you were fighting the feeling of unconsciousness. You had to piece together what was happening before you might inevitably black out.

…Recall the events. Remember.

You were at home. Long day of work put you in a vulnerable state. Alchemax scientists weren’t the easiest to work with especially when all you seemed to do was mess up. In their eyes. You had been designing a new function for the machine your boss had scrapped. It was a perfect base for your new project. But you’re getting off track. Finished up work. Left your keyboard in your lab coat pocket so you had to return. Enter the office room. Silence. Dark. Go in, grab the card, get out. Easy. Except it wasn’t.

You went in quickly. Taking your usual route to your cubicle helped you arrive faster. You grabbed your card. You made it home? Wait. No, that’s not right. Why couldn’t you remember? Why was your brain so damn hazy right now??

Backtrack. You went into the office and grabbed your keycard. Then you locked up the room. Habit. You went down the hall and.. And?

That’s right.

You went through the shortcut.

The incredibly dangerous shortcut that your boss happened to mention a couple HUNDRED times not to take. But it was just a door and a lab.. No big deal. It was such a huge space anyways. There was a big machine in the middle. Branded with your company’s logo. You took a look at it. It was huge. Just a few more steps closer and you were able to see every intricate detail. The only detail you missed was a white spider making its way up the web it must’ve spent hours threading and making.

You could make out every wire in the machine. But you couldn’t make out the spider crawling up your sleeve. That is.. until it sunk its fangs into you.

A loud shriek echoed through the lab walls as you failed your hand around in the air. It stung. And it didn’t help your already raging fear of spiders. You flung the light colored spider off and rubbed the harsh bite mark before making your way the hell out of that lab.

♡♥︎

After closing up the rest of the office, you made your way out of the facility and into the noisy streets.

Except.. it wasn’t noisy.

What? At this time of day, the streets were booming with noise.. Well, normally they were. So you excused the fact that it was quiet and made your way back to your apartment.

The moment you opened your door you got hit with a wave of drowsiness. How? You kept asking yourself these questions but you couldn’t even answer them. And within the next 10 seconds.. you couldn’t seem to comprehend what was happening.

It started with a loud ringing which contrasted the quiet you were experiencing a few moments before. Then came the nausea. Lastly.. your graceful fall straight to the floor.

That was it.

That’s all you remembered.

So how did you get here? On this rough concrete floor.. Head throbbing. Body shaking. Unable to remember any moments after your fall.

Well as if the world was just listening to your thoughts.. everything was answered with a flick of your wrist and a terrible thrust forward.

Web.

No. No, no, no, no.. NO. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. This was just in those comics you spent too much time reading. Only in the action movies. It was all fake. Couldn’t be real. No.. You were hallucinating. That had to be it. Would explain the headache you were enduring currently. But..

How could you possibly explain the blinding lights and colors of such an ethereal realm? How could you explain all those different costumes.. all with that same stupid emblem you saw on TV when the news reporters tried to degrade the so-called heroes that protected your city. How could you even begin to try to process those specific dark colors that seemed to contrast all others.. It was a blur. Messy shades that put together a stranger right in front of you. None of your thoughts or questions could be answered.

Not when your head was throbbing and you could barely think.

Not when you were summoned to a new land.. Or rather, a new world?

Not when beast in the form of man had made its way toward you.. and all you could do was stare.

Not when your life had stopped and you were being pulled into your new one.

Not when you were met with the devil himself.

Miguel O’Hara.

♡♥︎

[majesty-madness]

A Past Encounter - Bucky Barnes x reader (nsfw)

Summary: Being in a relationship with Bucky, Y/N prided herself on knowing him quite well but when she’s accidentally teleported back to 1940, Y/N discovers that there is a whole other Bucky that she has yet to meet. The sweet flirt that had everything going for him before his unfortunate capture by HYDRA.

Word Count: 2400+

Warnings: 40’s Bucky & Steve, flirty 40’s Bucky, small 40’s Steve, slight angst, sage advice from good ol' Steve, massaging, flustered Bucky, fluff

a/n: not proofread.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Chapter Ten

Two weeks have passed since Bucky gave Y/N a copy of the key to the apartment and the majority of that time was spent outside of it. 

Y/N simply couldn’t stay in one place when she had the solution to returning home right in the palm of her hand. However, within those two weeks, she was beginning to understand a very important piece of information: how much she didn’t understand science. 

The general stuff like Newton’s laws and the process of which plants grow is called photosynthesis, but anything out of range of high school science was beginning to irritate her. 

Of course she hadn’t considered the possibility where she was utterly confused since she thought of herself as a decently gifted person; this little escapade made her reevaluate her actual intelligence. 

If only Tony were here, he could help me… Y/N mentally sighed, slumping her hand onto the table she sat at. 

Then she scoffed, If he was here I wouldn’t need to be doing this; he would have already fashioned up a device that time travels.

She sat up, staring at the notes piled around the table as well as the pencil abandoned a few inches from her hand. Her brain wasn’t reading any of the notes, simply staring at the combination of different subjected notes spread out around the surface. The lead of the pencil had somewhat smeared across a few of the pages while the pen she had also used remained bolded in its black ink. 

To be honest, she felt a little tired looking out over all the scribbles causing her eyes to narrow a bit. 

“Hey, Y/N.” 

Like a train wreck, that one familiar voice sent her into an unexpected panic. She whipped her head to meet Steve’s eyes as he looked down at her, standing a few feet away. 

She had to resist the urge to completely scatter her notes about because if she tried to hide them, that would only make Steve curious and she really didn’t need that. So instead of trying to cover up all the notes, Y/N opted to somewhat hide the ones sitting directly under her arms. 

“Oh hey, Steve! Wasn’t expecting you here today!” Y/N smiled, trying to reel in her nerves. 

Luckily, Steve was none the wiser to her internal panic. “What are you up to?”

Before he was done with his question, he was already reaching his thin hand out to pick up her notes scattered on the table. She watched his eyes inevitably scan across the page to read the words written on them.

She swallowed harshly. “Well I was just doing some research.”

“Research on what?” He asked, setting down one page of handwritten scribbles to the next. 

“Just a curiosity of different sciences.” Y/N waved her hand back and forth while an anxious smile made a home across her face. 

Steve hummed in response, blue eyes flicking up to glance at her before he continued reading. His eyes scanned over every word, not understanding all of it but becoming impressed all the same, and that was reflected in the way he would occasionally look up to Y/N with a smile. 

“So you can understand this kind of stuff?” He asked after a minute or two. 

Y/N resisted the urge to cringe at the question; the past two weeks have made it clear she only understood some of it. Nonetheless, she nodded. “Yeah, I mean most of it. Some topics take a bit of work to wrap my mind around it.”

“Still, that’s pretty incredible. You could use this for a job or something.” He praised with complete sincerity. 

“Oh I don’t know about that…” Y/N immediately rebutted. “And anyway, I don’t think there would be much point; I probably won’t be here that long.” 

As soon as the words left her mouth, she noticed Steve’s abrupt pause. He simply sat still, staring at a point in the table that Y/N could not see. For a second, she thought perhaps she had hurt his feelings. 

He took a breath, like he was carefully choosing his next words. “You know, just because you might not be here for very long, doesn’t mean you can’t live the life you want.” 

Y/N couldn’t help the furrow in her brow as she bit her lip, the remnants of a nervous laugh making its way up her throat. “I-I know, I guess I just….well, I’m afraid that if I let myself live my life here then I’ll forget how my life was, forget who I was.”

She couldn’t help the pang of despair hitting her heart once the words left her mouth. 

“I understand.” Steve sympathized, “...and I’m not saying you need to forget, in fact, don’t.”

Her gaze snapped up to meet his earnest expression. 

“Whatever has happened in your life up until now is what made you into who you are today. What’s important is to make room for other experiences to become more of yourself, and who knows? Maybe it’ll be a good thing.”

“Like meeting you and Bucky?” She said almost instinctively. 

Then Steve laughed, not the kind of teasing laugh but one fueled by the compassion of friendship. “I suppose you could say that. It’s been fun having you around.”

Y/N smiled. “It’s only been a few weeks.” 

He nodded, “It’s been a good few weeks.” 

They both then hummed in appreciation of each other, acknowledging that they’ve both had some sort of impact on one another’s lives even if not much time had passed since they met. Technically, Y/N met them a long time from the current time, however this was a different Steve than she was used to and on some level, it was like they truly only met a few weeks ago. 

Steve tapped on the table a few times, then stood up from the chair. “It’s getting a little late in the afternoon, want to pick something to make for dinner? Unless you’re still trying to study.”

Y/N followed suit, and stood up. “No, that’s alright. I was starting to get a little stir crazy anyway.” 

“Well alright then.” Steve beamed, then gestured for Y/N to walk ahead of him. 

She swiftly gathered up all her research notes, stuffing them inside a notebook before walking off in the direction of the front door of the library. 

They both stepped outside at the same time, and headed off to the nearest supermarket, taking joy in each other’s company. 

________

It had been around 5:30pm by the time Bucky got home from work. Per usual, he felt the soreness of working in a mechanic’s shop; bending in awkwards places and lifting ungodly heavy objects did nothing to help his muscles. The only good thing he could say that came out of it was his toned body (which he was not ashamed to admit). Though the aching left him wanting a hot bath to ease the pain. 

He barely managed to open the door but as soon as he did, the smell of delicious spices hung in the air of the apartment. 

Instantly, he forgot about the aching of his joints and instead focused on the smell permeating the air which led him to the tiny kitchen. There, standing side by side, was Steve and Y/N expectedly peering around the kitchen wall. 

They heard him walk in as soon as he opened the door. 

“Hey, Bucky.” Steve greeted first. 

“Hi, Bucky! You have a good day at work?” Y/N greeted, quickly following it up with a question. 

It was a normal question, one that no one even thinks about but he was thinking about it and reacting to it. The way she smiled up at him when she asked, the sweet tone of her voice like silk, and her eyes glowing as if he were the only person in the world. It all caused his heart to thump wildly while trying to keep his exterior looking calm. 

Taking a breath, he answered. “Yeah it was good. I’m just a little sore.” 

He could then see the flash of concern over her face as she continued to absentmindedly stir something in the pot on the stove. Though she didn’t say anything as Steve stepped in. 

“We’re making beef stew; we picked up the ingredients before we got back.” 

Bucky nodded his head, eyes finally jutting over to his friend. “That sounds good, we haven’t had stew in a while.” 

“It was Steve’s idea. He told me that Monday’s are quite hectic for you at work so he said that a big meal might make you feel better or something like that.” Y/N explained, as she turned away from him to focus on the pot. “I thought it was a nice gesture.” 

“Yeah, good ol’ Steve, acting like my mother.” Bucky joked as he turned away and headed toward the living room. Both Steve and Y/N watched as he dragged himself over to the cushioned chair, then plopped down with a thud. 

He sat still for a minute, opting not to move so as to not upset his body and when he was comfortable enough, he rested his arms on his knees as he leaned his head down. 

“Do you think he’s okay?” Y/N asked, taking her off of Bucky to look at Steve. 

Steve had also still been looking at Bucky when Y/N turned to him, but he soon returned her gaze. “He’ll be fine, this is how Monday’s usually go for him.” 

“I see.” Was all she said, looking back to the brunette. 

After a few seconds of silence, Steve spoke again. “Here, why don’t you…” He paused for a minute as he grabbed a washcloth from one of the drawers, and put it under the faucet. “take this to Bucky and ask him yourself.” 

His small hand squeezed out the excess water and handed it to Y/N, who seemed a bit confused but still took the cloth to walk into the living room. 

She could tell right away that Bucky hadn’t sensed her approach because once she was beside him, he jerked a bit. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Y/N quickly apologized. 

Bucky waved off the apology. “Oh no that’s okay, I was lost in my head is all.”

“Steve told me to give you this…” She mentioned extending the washcloth to him. 

He chuckled as he gently took it from her hand. “Steve thinks I look disgusting when I come home from the shop.” 

Soon he began to wipe off his face and hands, the dark grease and soot sticking to the wet cloth. 

Feeling slightly mischievous, Y/N smirked. “Can you blame him? You do look gross.” 

“Oh well thanks, I’ll make sure to clean up before I get home, Princess.” He playfully retorted, taking one final swipe of the cloth over his face. 

Y/N quietly laughed, “Why thank you, sir.” 

Neither said anything until Bucky went to rub the back of his next and he groaned in clear discomfort. 

“Are you okay?” Y/N asked, stepping forward and subconsciously resting her hand lightly on his shoulder. Bucky immediately noticed but didn’t mention it. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Like I said earlier I’m sore, it hurts more now that I’ve finally had a chance to sit down and relax.” 

“Would you like me to massage your shoulders for a little bit? See if that helps?” She kindly offered him.

Bucky had to force himself to not blurt out an enthusiastic yes at the idea the moment she suggested it. Thankfully, he was able to compose himself and think rationally. “Uh yeah, sure why not?” 

Y/N stepped behind him and the not so tall lounge chair, briefly placing her hands on his shoulders then taking them away. 

“Actually, do you have a shirt underneath this one?” She asked, gently tugging on the collar of his button up. 

“Yeah, why?” 

She hummed, “Because it’ll be easier to massage your muscles without the button-up.” 

Bucky didn’t know why, but those words sent heat straight to his face. He mentally thanked the dull, orange glow of the lamps lighting the apartment or else Y/N might’ve been able to see his red cheeks. “It would, wouldn’t it?”

He brought his now sweaty palms up to his collar, beginning to unbutton each one down the expanse of his torso. Once loose enough, he shrugged off the shirt from his shoulders to reveal the raw muscle underneath. The moment they were exposed, Y/N carefully laid her hands on him and began to carefully press against the sore spots. 

As soon as her fingers made contact with them, Bucky softly groaned. 

“I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Y/N asked, ceasing her movements. 

He shook his head. “No, please keep going.” 

Without a word, she continued. She made sure to gauge his reactions whenever pressing down on any particularly knotted spots, pushing either harder or softer depending on the expression on his face. Overall, he seemed to enjoy the harder caresses of her hands as it released the tension considerably in his shoulders. 

This went on for several minutes, and as each minute passed Bucky became sleepier and sleepier, falling into a hazy state of consciousness while Y/N massaged him. He still had awareness of the world around him, but could only focus on how good she was making him feel. 

And Y/N got caught up in the habit of rolling her hands against his muscles, almost possessed by the action, that at some point dug her fingers into his brown rooted tresses. Now she began to rake her fingertips along his scalp, admiring the way he shivered and took in a sharp breath; eyes still fully closed. 

He was beautiful. 

She leaned forward, hands no longer moving, and pressed a kiss to his temple. 

Her half narrowed eyes widened when she caught Bucky staring up at her in surprised awe, a gasp leaving her lips. She jumped back, bringing her hands flat on her flaming cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that!” 

“Y/N it’s okay, I’m not-”

“Dinner is ready, you guys.” Steve shouted from the kitchen, dipping out of the small area to peer into the living room. He thought it was a little strange that the two of them stood several feet away and weren’t saying a word because the last he saw, Y/N had been standing right next to Bucky.

“Okay, Steve, sounds good. I’ll um…I’ll set the table.” Y/N stammered, making a b-line for the kitchen and fled past Steve. 

Steve watched Y/N rummage through one of the cabinets for a second then walked over to Bucky, voice hushed. “What happened?”

Bucky stood up from the chair, eyes staring past Steve and into the kitchen. “She kissed me.”

________

Tagged profiles

@honeyrydernot @spn-obession @tinyminxie @fluffybunnyu @saintmagx @hopelessromantic423

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

re: The ASL post

Surely I can't be the only one questioning the premise that if you shut down in one language, you shut down in all of them, equally?

Selective mutism is a whole Thing that exists. There's speech loss where you can somehow take a business call, but can't otherwise converse or ask for help or articulate anything outside of that specific compartmentalized embodiment. There's speech loss where echolalia is still possible. There's dissociation and compartmentalization and codeswitching which allow people to superficially bypass their own brain's shutdowns to produce the results they need.

And then there's the fact that different languages can mean different brainspaces! Thinking in and expressing yourself in language A versus language B can be sooo so so so so different in terms of emotional processing, sensory experience, gender realization, logic formation, etc, and that's even without getting into the root cultural differences. You can be groggy and overstimulated and find solace in a languagespace where you have more resilience, and it does not have to be a regression to a native tongue!

And that's staying within the same language modality! Once you change that, it's extremely possible that triggering conditions like fatigue/exhaustion/overstimulation can be relieved. How many writers have been utter wrecks in crisis while churning out beautifully written works in their non-native language? If a Deaf person has speech loss but can write in legible English during the event, is that marked as physically impossible with the same level of scrutiny?

Meanwhile, my experience with using ASL as someone who was already multilingual (including natively multilingual) before that is that the non-manual markers of the language are so embodied and so different from my natural performance state that of course it requires a different kind of brainspace, it's practically a form of masking except that it relieves the pressure of the other masking (tone, volume, pace, vocabulary, presque vu, cluttering, pitch, and then all those things but with stealth trans gender anxiety).

Also when someone is in crisis, why is it necessary for them to communicate with perfect grammar? What hill even is this?

(In addition, I resent the idea that it's impossible to have intuitive fluency in a language just because you didn't start it as a baby. And the idea that struggling with one parameter of a language will render native users utterly incapable of comprehending you... which is to not even touch the ways in which parameter prescriptivism hurts tactile sign users--*immediately falls through a trap door triggered by the anti-intersectionality police*)

As always, friendo, you speak mine own thoughts to the core, lol

I didn't really feel like getting into every concern I had with the way that post was presenting its conclusions, because I had already written several paragraphs and that felt.....unhelpful at best.

But yeah, I mean. I am not aware of ANY psychological research whatsoever that supports the assumptions they were making about speech/communication loss as an experience, about the way the brain interacts with language, and about the role of learning new languages. It sounded like a LOT of misunderstood moral/ethical arguments being made after hearing someone talk about a small piece of the complexity of Deaf/HoH language/communication sharing with other communities, that they didn't fully know how to apply because they don't actually know anything about the neuroscience of the situation.

Which like. Fine I guess. But that was sort of why I pushed back. I really appreciated the point that sign isn't AAC! I would really like to see that acknowledged more in the way speech/communication disorder folks talk about our interactions with it! And it worried me that the point didn't ACTUALLY seem to be "these things are different so here's the strengths and challenges of each/the outcomes one may hope for with each, so you can better understand how to utilize them" but rather "If you can't be confident that you have fully unlearned your prejudices and assumptions here, you're actually harming Deaf/HoH people by trying to learn our language." That doesn't make sense to me. And when the response was to completely misrepresent my words and ignore my explicitly coming from an intracommunal perspective while literally refusing to actually interact with what was said? That made me feel really uneasy about where that arguement actually was coming from.

One of the things I didn't talk about in the post is that my languages actually get employed in a clear and consistent order as my cognitive functioning decomps. I am "functional" if I can speak and/or write in English. I am "impaired" If I cannot use English, but CAN use Spanish. And I am fully "adrift" if all I can do is sign/use assistive gestures. Literally, what language I am using to communicate is almost always in indicator of my state of mind, to the point that long before I had language for any of this, I warned Wifey ahead of time when we first started dating that I might lapse into Spanish under certain circumstances, and they would need to tell me if they didn't understand because I prolly wouldn't notice. Despite being my "first language" English is genuinely the hardest for me to interact with. This remains true as I learn more languages (German is easier than English too, as is Italian, and even Russian.) English is - by literally every measure - a hot mess of a language. And it is actually really fucking common for even native speakers to find other languages more intuitive.

Why would that suddenly stop being true because your cognition is failing? Yeah, you won't have **the same access** bit you were never going to anyway???? And "more access than zero" is literally invaluable????

I dunno. I know it's poor behavior to get frustrated at people speaking with authority while repeating objective untruths in something I have actual expertise in, but there IS kinda a certain point when I have to wonder why people immediately internalize the stuff they see on tumblr without actually exploring the work of people who pioneered the research someone is attempting to convey? Why are yall happy NEVER interacting with a primary source?

And literally? Don't tell me "well we don't have any intracommunal research!!! Because that hasn't been true in any significant field of study for a decade now. Limited? Sure. Explorations of genuine intracommunal priorities in their infancy? Absolutely. But at this point if we are 30yrs into "nothing for us without us" without being able to recognize that intracommunal knowledge generation has ALWAYS happened, and the problem was not an absence but an obfuscation?

We probably have bigger problems at that point honestly.