#was this coherent? I truly hope so. the braincells braincelled I think

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

I’m thinking about Jay and Jesse in Zoom’s lair.

Each of them being stolen from their lives by the same blue lightning. After weeks or maybe months of solitude, Jay feeling this most horrible sense of relief(?) when someone else is brought there too, when he’s finally not alone anymore. He’s so incredibly guilty for it because Jesse’s just a kid. Yet it’s still so isolating for both of them. Each there technically but with no way to effectively communicate. Maybe they find ways. Jesse asks yes or no questions that Jay can tap an answer to. But that can only do so much, as it’s their only social interaction.

Jesse knows her purpose there; a hostage so her dad will do whatever Zoom wants. Zoom even questioned her about things she didn’t know. Questioned; tortured— it’s the same either way. There’s also this conflict. Everyone else Zoom came into contact with had been killed, but not her. Shouldn’t she feel some sense of relief? Wasn’t she the lucky one? At least she had a chance so many others didn’t… but sometimes dying felt more merciful than this. She feels this perhaps naive sense of hope. Hope that her dad would come find her, that everything would be ok, that would be able to go home. Then Zoom reveals her fate. That he’d kill her in front of her dad. And she grapples with that (I mean, she’d have to right?). Is that really all she’s worth? Does her life really revolve completely around her dad— in that he’s the reason she lives and the reason she’ll die? No. It can’t. She’d get back to her own life. She would. Everything would be fine. Right? - then even when her dad does find and save her; she still doesn’t get her life back. Not in the same way at least.

Jay also knows his purpose; a trophy for Zoom’s sick amusement. He has to live every day knowing Zoom’s using his identity, his name, to manipulate and further hurt so many people. And as a hero, he carries that guilt. Guilt that he can’t help anyone— especially Jesse. Zoom keeping him here was one thing, but kidnapping an innocent girl was a new level of evil. He’s made to wear a mask day and night, helpless to talk to or comfort her with those scraps of poorly welded metal completely blocking his voice. Zoom hurts her, he also hurts Jay but that doesn’t matter. Not in comparison. (But enough for them both to cower at Zoom’s arrival). Even before Jesse arrives, Zoom tells him of another Flash, one who can get him what Jay couldn’t. Zoom tells him a lot about the other Flash —Barry— and his team. He can only hope they’ll see through Zoom’s ruse, that his identity won’t be used to hurt these people too. But they don’t, and it is. And he can’t do anything about it. The day he meets Barry is the day Jesse gets away. The Flash stands outside his cell, free from his own because Zoom let him keep his powers (Zoom would likely later tell him this was all apart of his plan), and swears he’ll come back. He’s happy for Jesse of course, she’s been here so long and again, she’s just a kid— but he can’t help but feel an awful sense of longing as a trail of yellow lighting, so like his own, takes them both far away from this place; once again leaving him alone.

[twilit-creature]

S

So I wrote another fic. Basically just a little scenario that went through my head every now and then. Its very long tho. Almost 3 pages in Arial 11.

Seht discovering the weird creature is weirder than he thought:tm:

Cut after cut, no matter how much the clockwork god searched for an answer, a reason, an explanation, he found nothing. There was nothing inside - nothing that belonged there that is. He fished something out of the creature lying in front of him, something small and metallic. “...Keys?” he held them, dangling in front of his face. “Oh yeah, those. Would you mind giving them to me?'' The creature extended one of it’s arms like a snake and opened it’s hand to receive the keys. Albeit confused, Seht handed it the keys. “Why do you have keys inside of your body?” Before he could formulate another question, it answered in a surprisingly casual tone. “I am just supposed to keep those for a friend of mine. He keeps losing his house keys regularly because he fiddles with them when he gets nervous. He dropped them at least twelve times already into the only sink on the isles. And that was only the times when I was actually present, it happens a lot more.” Sotha Sil squinted a little in response to such an odd story. He looked the creature in it’s eyes, searching for any hint of this being some kind of joke but it seemed sincere.

After a moment he rubbed his eyes and put the surgical tools aside before turning to the creature once more and questioning it “Why is it that you have your friend’s house keys inside your body but no sign of any internal organs?” The previously opened torso of the creature closed itself with ease, as if it was just a normal bodily function and the creature sat up on the table. “Well… I don’t need them. Why should I put effort into forming some organ and keeping it at work when I just… don’t need them? That would be like… Putting gold inside your own body. Why would you do that? It’s unnecessary!” The clockwork god thought about the creature’s words for a moment while eyeing it. This analogy did not even make sense. 

“So you have been born in a sort of liquid state, I presume?” But it only shook it’s head in response “No. I mean- You are already wrong with the assumption of me being born at all!” it added a little chuckle at the end. 

Sotha Sil raised both eyebrows, understanding the implications of these words “You were artificially created?” It stretched itself and yawned “That is right. Entirely artificial, even down to the soul…Explains why Oswald didn’t like my soul…” it mumbled at the end but Seht paid no mind to those last words anyways as they were not part of his study. 

Ever since this odd creature arrived he had been trying to figure out what this thing is and how it could just so easily by-pass any and all of the security measures the clockwork city had, all without being detected. It’s form would remind most of a sort of daedra but it keeps denying any relation to them nor does it share any energy signatures with the daedra. It claimed to come from the end, the void between all worlds, realities and existences. It claimed to not have a brain either and instead just ‘two braincells somewhere in it’s body’. Seht did not know what to make of any of the things the creature had told him and he still was not sure if it was truly trustworthy.

“How would one go about creating a creature such as yourself?” Seht tilted his head, hoping for some kind of coherent answer. Suddenly it avoided eye contact, pondering how to explain that it did not know the answer without sounding stupid. “Uh… well… I th- I think you should ask my creator that. I don’t know that and I do not think I am qualified to talk about that to begin with…” It grabbed a strand of it’s hair and started to twirl it, seemingly because it was suddenly so unsure. 

Sotha Sil couldn’t tell whether it did this out of genuine insecurity or because it tries to hide something. “Who is your creator? Certainly, they must be a powerful being.” Suddenly it let the strand fall again and wheezed a little from it’s tiny laughter of nervousness “Well… Powerful would be quite the understatement haha…” it folded it’s hands in it’s lap while it sat in a sort of shrimp-like position. Seht was not sure where this was going. “Please, do tell me about your creator… I’d be interested to learn more about whoever is capable of creating a being such as yourself.” It’s eye widened and inhaled sharply, which was more a way to express it’s emotions as it lacked the lungs to breathe. “Well… I-I don’t… I mean, I guess I could tell you… ” it scratched itself behind the mask. Seht leaned a little forward, anticipating the answer this creature was about to reveal. 

“They’re older than everything that has ever existed and will ever exist. They’re from far, far before existence itself existed… They have a name but they do not wish for me to tell it to anyone… Mostly because of pronunciation issues… he’s quite tired of that. So they are just known as Seer.” while Sotha Sil was listening with undivided attention, he could not help but wonder if those words rang true or if the creature was merely making something up. How could something even exist before existence itself? “Seer is omnipresent. She’s anywhere, everywhere at all times, anytime. Everything is blind in comparison. She sees all, at all times. What was, what could have been, what is, what could be, what will be and what could be. There is nothing ever hidden from them. To them, there are no secrets.'' 

While this story sounded to the clockwork god like a sort of myth, he was willing to give into it until he was able to confirm or disconfirm this story. He had after all only this creature’s words but his interest was piqued. “Of course… there is an epicenter with a body, which they have solely created for simple minded beings such as you. Wait no- I am not saying that you’re stupid or anything! I think you’re actually really smart and that's quite hot- I mean great! It’s great... that you�� know things…” It was really nervous about possibly insulting him. He had already taken note of it’s affectionate behavior at times but ultimately decided to not comment on it, for now. While it was still trying to compose itself he thought about it’s words. 

“And… This seer…” as he spoke the creature looked at him once again “They’ve created you for what purpose? A being such as the one you described, what use could they possibly have for you?” despite it’s mask, it was already clear not even the creature itself knew the answer. “Well… I don’t know. They never really explained it to me- Said I would not even begin to understand what they wanted to use me for…” it looked up to the ceiling and tapped it’s chin “They made two more of me- or well, like me… though one of them split into two. They said only the final one they made turned out exactly how they wanted… if that one did not instantly leave right after it’s creation, that is…” This whole story made no sense. There was no logic in any of this and it itched the clockwork god in all the wrong ways. “So you are implying you are not functioning in your intended parameters?” The creature stopped for a moment and just looked at him. It continued shortly after it was done digesting his very smart-sounding words “Yes, that is right. It’s like I am failure-incarnate, basically. I cannot do things I was supposed to be able to do.” it chuckled a little “I mean… I cannot even turn into a proper mammal. When I turn into an animal with fur it’s fine, then I can cover up all the issues with the fur… but if I were to turn into, say, a human, then it would be very quickly very clear that I am not a human…  I can’t even form proper wings yet… Or change my color…” it appeared to be pretty sad about these things. Which was understandable. A shapeshifter not being able to shift into anything it wants to is a little pointless.

This entire conversation brought up more questions than answers and Sotha Sil was not even sure if any of this held any truth. “If that seer of yours really sees all… how could they have possibly made mistakes when creating you?” The creature was quick to at least clear that one up “At the time of my creation they were not able to see as they do now. They were more shortsighted but that is no longer the case.” Seht pondered those words not for long before following it up with another question “Then why would they not try to perfect you now or even possibly recreate you?” The creature scratched itself behind the head. 

How it was going to answer all these questions, it did not know. It fully understood why Sotha Sil would want to know these things but at the same time - it just did not have all the answers and worried the lack of them would lead to further trust issues. “W-Well… I really wish I could tell you but… Th-There is… any time I ask them myself the answer is either ‘It doesn’t matter.’ or ‘There is no point.’” 

Sotha Sil looked down to the floor. He did not exactly feel like he learned a lot more about this odd creature that intruded in his Clockwork City. And yet, he could not help but feel a sort of pity for it. If it really spoke the truth, it was about as clueless as he was about it’s origins. He could see the creature was not really anymore in the best state to answer his questions. “I thank you for answering my questions, critter…” he stood up from the stool and the creature was just as quick to hop off the table to stand relatively close to him, as it did most of the time now. “No problem, I can tell you more another time… My head has gotten a little empty from this conversation.” Seht nodded once in response. 

“Very well… Then I shall resume my work on the Clockwork City…” he was about to lead the way out of the laboratory before looking back down at the creature with a somewhat stern expression. “But do not eat the cogs again, I require those for my work.” It put it’s hand on the mask “No, I won’t. Really, I said I was sorry, I did not know you were still going to use them and they looked so shiny…” Albeit hesitant, Sotha Sil put his clockwork hand on it’s shoulder, as a gesture of reassurance. “I was not scolding you, it was merely a reminder. Your short term memory did not go unnoticed.” He took his hand off of his shoulder again while the creature looked down, not even the mask could hide it’s embarrassment. “Oh… Well… uh… ok…” perhaps, it truly did only possess two braincells.

[be-secretsanta]

happy holidays, carly! your secret santa was rina!

dear carly- merry christmas! I conjured up this “your name” inspired idea based on the plotting we did get done, I hope you enjoy it! (ps: I wanted this to be a lot longer and more coherent but I got super busy AND sick so I’m last minute rushing TT)

written gift below the cut

@bejoomi / @benayoung / @ahyoungbe

he doesn’t recall how it all began. one morning he found himself staring at an unfamiliar roof with weird posters on the walls and camera equipment stacked into one corner- jaehyun did not own a camera. he’d gone through the whole stretching his limps out progress until he noticed the significant lack of morning wood and the addition weight of boobs but it wasn’t until he took a look into his mirror that he truly let his unfamiliar high pitched voice shriek him back to reality.

he woke with a start, this time to his own room, sweat on his temple, a concerned daeho in the doorframe, asking him if he was okay. “yeah… weird dream I guess…” he wished now it truly just had been one.

I never took you to be a swifty btw.

Good morning to you too. : )

after the dream, jaehyun begun spotting writing in his palms that wasn’t his own. usually it disappeared after a while, sometimes smudges left behind that he only truly learned to identify the source of when he woke up yet again in the unfamiliar room with identical smudges in his (her) palms. whoever this girl was- she was as much his perfect opposite as they seemed to share the same braincell. it was astonishing truly. ever since these weird interactions started, he often wondered what kind of connection fate was forcing them to have and why.

it took him another week and two more dreams to finally try and respond to her recent grocery list. ‘don’t you think that’s a lot of snacks?’ ’?!?!?!’ and from that day on, the rest remained history. they’d slowly begun figuring out the rules and regulations to their weird ability on how to interact without ever really having seen each other while at the same time having seen their entire life holed up inside their own 4 walls.

how we never ran into each other is insane btw.

?

you’re a band photographer- I sing for one.

you simp for one? which one?!

SING!

kek your handwriting sucks dude.

he’d never been the type to receive detention despite his mischievous tendencies at times. however now he had a feeling some of his professors wished they could assign detention with how furiously he was scribbling into his palms at times with clear disregard to the topic of the lesson he should be paying attention to instead. but that girl could leave him so focused on their bicker that he truly forgot to notice anything around him.

ahyoung however was smarter than jaehyun in that regard. more composed too. placing herself strategically in the back row of her lectures, she attracted way less attention. combined with the fact she’d had the habit of doodling into her palms, on desks or the one off chance she did have some paper on that; people barely bat an eye while she snickered away to herself.

I’m not telling him.

stop being a chicken.

it’s bad enough that YOU know!

🐔

wow… you really spent the last 5 minutes drawing that, huh?

🐔

STOP!

it was as frustrating as it was ridiculous. as they’d figured out the intricates of this… arrangement, it seemed like everything was fine- except their names. no matter how often they’d tried to tell each other their names, it just wasn’t happening. they knew everything about each other’s life; the people they hung around with, what music they listened to, their majors, the uni they went to- yet their names remained a mystery. whenever they attempted to share, the writing would simply become unreadable. even while attempting to bypass it and spell their name out with words- whatever upheld the rules for this odd connection would quickly catch up and make the rest unreadable once more. in the end ahyoung resulted to call him J, whereas she was known as A.

ahyoung often wondered why she’d never found it within her to just seek him out- look for him. seoul was a big city but it was still just a city. they could have run into each other without ever truly having known. the vague, foggy images of their dreams did little to have them recall each other’s appearance- which she also blamed on whatever weird rules fate had put in place for their connection. was he something like her soulmate? platonic, surely, but soulmate nonetheless. or perhaps a long lost sibling from another life time? her eyes drifted close the more possible scenarios she thought herself into, all thought of potentially finding him forgotten.

are you still sulking?

call insu after class for band schedule

come on J! don’t be ridiculous.

you erased my note :T

because you’re being an idiot. write him a katalk!

jaehyun sighed. A had a point- about everything. which was ridiculous, considering he didn’t even know her. he did decide to write insu a katalk but chose not to reply for now. he was a professional ghoster after all. and right now he wasn’t sure how to feel about this girl knowing his whole life story when he’d never even actually met her. but that was a problem for tomorrow jaehyun. for now he had an exam to prepare for and a gig coming up this weekend that still needed to be organized.

ahyoung on the other hand was at first annoyed but now just stubborn. if he wanted to ghost her and be a dick about her trying to help, then so be it. she’d enjoyed her life before him, and she could very well continue doing so.

getting ready for another long night out, she lingered around the outside of the club where the bands of the night would be performing, cigarette between her lips as she tinkered with the settings of her camera. J was still on her mind even if she refused to tell a soul about it. there was so much mystery around this whole ordeal that it simply left her curious why it had all started in the first place. snuffing her cigarette out, she turned to head back inside when she bumped into someone, a quick apology muttered under her breath before a flood of images left her holding onto the door frame instead.

two siblings. rushing through open fields. sharing a watermelon by a river bench. the brother looking back over his shoulder, giving his sister a thumbs up in his army uniform while she turned her back on him, clearly agitated about something. the image of a blurry letter. devastated parents.

she looked up only to stare back into the eyes of a boy almost her age- maybe a year older- the exact replica of the guy from the images she’d just seen. however instead of saying anything, the guy reached for a pen in his pocket and began writing with trembling fingers, clearly just as taken aback by all of this.

and as he anticipated to see his writing mirrored on the inside of her palm, gaze fixated on it, ahyoung brought it up into both their fields of vision to display the messy “hello?” written there. the female couldn’t help it. she laughed. loud. relieved. overjoyed to have met a stranger that didn’t feel like a stranger at all.

“god- your handwriting really sucks.”

[starfire-s]

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride! 

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10 

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

[asian-hero]

i was wondering if i could do a mina x fem!reader where the reader is pretty butch and is friends with mainly the guys; however all of them still think that she likes guys, so they are all trying to set up todoroki (who has no clue on what the guys are doing) with her, until one day they see them talking in a cafe and they think that they’re actually together, until one of them sees/hears her gushing over mina with big brother todoroki paying for her coffee because f endeavor’s credit card ❤️❤️

A/N: I’m glad that the entire fandom collectively agrees that Todoroki would absolutely steal his father’s credit card to buy the dumbest things

Maybe I’ll write a part two where the reader tells Mina how she feels

Summary: The guys of 1-A, while they absolutely owned your heart and you’d do anything for them, all collectively shared a total of three brain cells, and most of the time it was either Bakugou or Iida who held them. So, while you thought it was clear that there was a certain pink haired girl you were crushing on, it somehow got lost in translation, and instead you were set up with a red and white haired boy instead.

They were so close.

Words: 1,970

Ever since you were little, you always found yourself gravitating towards your male classmates versus your female ones. It wasn’t as if you had anything against the girls in your classes, no, it was quite the opposite, in fact. You were just so enamored by them that it often rendered you speechless, so instead of trying to overcome your slight fear of a woman’s rejection, you instead sought comfort with the male students, and then it just became natural for you to gravitate towards them instead. 

By the time you had enrolled in U.A. practically nothing had changed, you were the same girl-avoiding woman you had been growing up, but at least now you knew why you were so infatuated, yet so afraid. On your first day in class 1-A, you immediately found yourself drawn to a nerdy green-haired boy and the seemingly strict glasses wearing kid. It only took a few minutes for you to become fast friends with the two of them, as you and Midoriya found yourself geeking over pro heroes and reading his journal with all of their stats. Iida, while not quite sure how to react to having two extreme pro hero fans, merely watched as you and Midoriya talked a mile a minute about every hero on the scene currently, who your favorites were, and who’s quirk you’d like to switch with for a day. It also didn’t take long for you to be introduced to Uraraka Ochako, though it took much longer for the two of you to become friends. Not because she was hard to get along with, but because she was just so cute that you were having a hard time forming any coherent sentences. You did get past it, eventually, but the two of you knew that you weren’t as close as you and the other two boys.

As you had progressed in your class, gaining more control over your quirk, you also had progressed in terms of how many friends you had gained as well. Shortly after the first week of class, you had somehow managed to be caught in Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima’s little group, though you mostly acted as their mom and made sure that the three of them didn’t end up of the receiving end of a certain blonde-haired porcupine’s explosive quirk. 

Shouji, Ojiro, Tokoyami, and Sato were also quick friends of yours as well. Though you didn’t hang out with them much, you always knew that you were welcome to hang out with them and just have a relaxing time. Sato had even baked you a few things as the two of you got closer, and now you were currently his sole taste tester when it came to baked goods. 

You did try to befriend Mineta, but quite honestly, you’d rather take Bakugou’s anger issues and insults over the tiny boys perverted stares and attempts to touch you. Thankfully, Bakugou also recognized this as an issue for you, and even though he’d deny it to his dying day, he’d make sure that the perverted boy was never within six feet of you.

The most surprising friend you’d made, and the closest one you had, was the one and only Todoroki Shouto. How the two of you clicked was a mystery to the both of you. With his cold, aloof attitude at the beginning of the school year, and your rather boisterous personality, the two of you had formed some sort of mutual agreement to never speak to one another, both because Todoroki didn’t have the mindset of wanting to make friends, and you didn’t have the mental capacity and patience to deal with that boy without smacking him. However, shortly after the sports festival, he found himself sitting near Midoriya, formerly his only friend, which also meant that he was sitting close to you as well. After a few weeks of awkward silence between the two of you, you finally tried to start a conversation, hoping that your love for pro heroes and maternal personality would make him feel more at ease with you. While it worked to an extent, what really drove Todoroki to becoming your best friend was when you had accidentally let it slip that you didn’t really care for Endeavor, and before you could even attempt to take back what you said, Shouto told you he felt the same, and soon after the two of you became what seemed like the anti-Endeavor club. Instead of the two of you feeling awkward during lunch, you two had actually found yourself ignoring the rest of the group unintentionally, instead lost in your own conversation. 

It was also safe to say that you did have relationships with the girls of 1-A as well, though they were more superficial than the ones that you’d made with the boys. You always made sure to exchange pleasantries with them in the morning, and you made it clear that if any of them needed someone to talk to, they could always reach out to you. Other than that, though, your friendships with them weren’t quite as deep as they were with the boys.

This didn’t stop them from caring about you, though. Even though you never hung out with them, they always made sure to pay close attention to you and your needs, in case you ever needed them.

So, it truly couldn’t be helped that, upon further inspection, they had come to the conclusion that, because you spent so much time with him, you were absolutely, one hundred percent without a doubt, in love with Todoroki. 

It seemed obvious to them, as why would you spend so much time with the boy if you didn’t feel anything for him. You were always smiling around him, and you were one of the only people in the class who could get him to laugh and smile like a regular teenager. They didn’t even think that he could do that! So, in order to be the perfect wingwoman for you, Ashido, Uraraka, and Hagakure decided to plant the seed into some of the boys’ head, more specifically, Midoriya, Kaminari, and Kirishima’s heads. While the first had acted as he normally does, with a flustered look on his face, the other two had some of the most devious smiles you had ever seen. 

Not long after, all of the boys, minus Todoroki, had been let in on your little “crush,” and they decided to hatch a plan to get the two of you together. 

They weren’t subtle by any means, in fact, if you and Todoroki had more than one braincell shared by the two of you at any given point, you both probably would’ve recognized what your classmates were up to. Unfortunately for the both of you, while you were book smart, you were rather dense when it came to social cues, so every obvious attempt made by the other boys went over your head. You did start to pick up on certain things though, like how whenever there was a partner project, everyone would automatically push you towards Todoroki, saying that they already have a partner. Or when the two of you were sitting together at lunch, Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka “conveniently” forgot to tell you that they weren’t able to sit with you, leaving you and Todoroki to eat by yourselves, not that you minded. 

The most obvious way that the boys attempted to get you two together was whenever you all had hero training, whether it be in rescue or media, if there was a way that they could get you partnered together, then you better believe that was what they were planning. 

Around the tenth time the boys had tried to set you up once again, only to fail miserably, as the two of you genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, and were about as smart as a brick. They were all so close to pulling out their hair, and before they could just call it like it was, Kirishima was the “voice of reason:”

“Those two already hang out a lot as is, right? Maybe they’re dating but they’re hiding it from us, so we should see if we can tail them,”

While most of the boys were agreeing to tail the two of you, with Iida going purely to put an end to any chaos they could cause, they missed the way you were wistfully sighing, and the way that Todoroki was trying to hold back his laughter at your love sick attitude. They also missed the way his eyes lit up with mischief as a certain pink haired girl walked by, waving at the two of you while holding back her pleased grin. Or how you immediately punched his shoulder to get him to stop from doing anything that would embarrass you more.

So, once school had let out, Kaminari, Kirishima, Midoriya, Sero, and Iida had followed closely behind you and Todoroki, hoping that the two of you would do something more interesting than just walking back to the dorms.

Luckily for them, the two of you had planned to head to one of your favorite cafes, just a little ways away from the campus. Blissfully unaware of the eyes glaring holes into the backs of your heads, you carried a pleasant conversation, talking about the training from today, and how both of you thought the other could improve. As you headed into the cafe, the stalkers you had acquired waited a couple of seconds before going in after the two of you, hoping that you two would keep being ignorant of your surroundings, for at least a few more minutes. 

They couldn’t help but be amazed at the sight in front of them: with your arm wrapped securely around his, waiting in line as you pointed out all of the options you thought he’d like. Once the two of you were up to order, Todoroki had ordered for the both of you, and even paid with a shiny credit card that they were sure wasn’t his. Kirishima thought it was rather manly of him, whereas Kaminari was impressed that Todoroki could be “suave.” As the two of you sat down at one of the tables, they were starting to believe in Kirishima’s little theory before they heard you talking about someone else:

“Did you see how cool Mina looked during training today?” You sighed, resting your face against your palm as you stared off to the side.

“‘Mina?’” He teased, sipping on his drink and enjoying the way you seemed to grow embarrassed, “Since when were you two on a first name basis?”

You hid your face in between your hands, mumbling out a quiet “shut up.” He couldn’t help but laugh, leaning in to flick your head.

“You should just tell her you like her, I don’t see the harm from doing so,”

Your head shot straight up, sending a non-threatening glare towards the boy in front of you, “I can think of so many things that could go wrong. One: she could not like me, and then tell the rest of the girls in the class and get them all to hate me,” You took a minute to shove two fingers into his face, “Or two: she could just not like girls in general, and I could make her so uncomfortable that she’ll never want to see me again.”

“You are the most dramatic person I’ve ever met,”

“Well clearly you’ve never met yourself.”

As you both continued to bicker back and forth about your huge crush on the pink girl, the four boys, who were sitting right behind your table, found themselves dumbfounded. Kaminari turned towards the rest of the group, a puzzled look on his face.

“So, she doesn’t like Todoroki?”

[qwirk]

*vigilantes ch. ~64 and main manga ch. ~255 spoilers*

although idk if these are really spoilers if these chapters came out a couple years ago! anime-only fans beware. anyway here’s my extremely long rant about the obvious, not trying to explain anything- i gotta yell!

so that vigilantes arc destroyed me! i’m not good at immediately putting thoughts about media into coherent points but i’m just so sad :( first of all after catching up with the main manga, shirakumo, despite being technically dead during his introduction, rocketed up to one of my favorite if not my favorite character. aizawa is also up there for me- he was first introduced as this strict teacher who seemed to psychologically torment his students for the fun of it, or at least for some yet unknown ulterior motive. but we now know that, while still kinda harsh, he does this to give his students that lead-dropping-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach rush in order to push them to succeed (or something like that?). he truly cares about his students and their growth which has been demonstrated multiple clear times. but what drives him to be like this??

shirakumo!! his actions today are a clear answer to the pushes shirakumo gave him back when they were students. they’re so obviously influenced by shirakumo that they’re almost literally answers. the main chapters are a little foggy because i speedread them at 3 am, but i just caught up with vigilantes. 

at the start, aizawa sees himself as someone who’s constantly just behind and will stay there as everyone moves on. he trudges into class drenched after leaving the kitten behind and he’s super emo about it. meanwhile, shirakumo literally flies through the window, also drenched, saved not only the kitten but aizawa’s umbrella, and manages to put on this cheery (albeit borderline explicit) show about it. it’s a CLEAR contrast between the two and aizawa goes as far to say that he hasn’t reached his “true self yet” while he looks at shirakumo and then says that he starts to change. 

as if it’s not enough for aizawa to beat himself up mentally, his classmates bring him down for not having a “heroic” enough quirk. shirakumo is constantly stepping in to bring him back up, even during real work study stuff, and goes as far to lend him a pair of his goggles so that his eyes become more useful. this becomes a stronger bonding point between aizawa, shirakumo, and hizaishi for them to start looking to the future together. while wearing those goggles, which are protecting his sight from the strong winds on the roof, he stares into the sky, feeling like he’s getting swept into the future like the clouds in the wind. (also the clouds as a metaphor. damn)

and then we come to the last fight. everyone that aizawa looks up to is crushed in the wake of the villain, and he’s the last one standing. there’s a group of children to protect, and he’s panicking and drowning in his overthinking. the way he’s given a huge panel to himself only to be visually overwhelmed by his thought bubbles stood out to me. and then the thing that snaps him out is shirakumo’s voice cheering him on. it’s a bunch of simple praise, but it means everything in the situation. the friend who’s been pulling him up no matter how hopeless or apathetic aizawa feels is of course the one to spur him into action in a life-or-death situation. aizawa realizes he’s gotta fight immediately, and even reminds himself of exactly what shirakumo told him- that his quirk IS useful and levels the playing field. 

i was already kinda spoiled for this part since i read the main manga first, but hearing shirakumo’s cheering the entire time while aizawa is absolutely toiling to defeat this huge villain would have been touching regardless. and when he lands in triumph, hurting but victorious, he screams for his friend to hear that he did it!! but then you see this joy start to like. rot away as soon as it pans to kayama and hizaishi. it’s raining again (THE CLOUDS AS A METAPHOR! DAMN!). shirakumo’s corpse is lying feet away from him, staining the medics’ sheet with blood. i don’t have much to say about this part, it was just a lot for me to process!! also i’m still not entirely sure about the way his speaker works so i might be wrong here, but did he really spend his dying moments with a traumatic head injury cheering on his friend to not only beat the immediate danger, but to self-realization?? or maybe it was prerecorded? idk but either way, truly a hero. 

aizawa and hizaishi are left standing in the rain because once again, “it fits the mood.” so obviously there’s the callback to when aizawa first said that when he comes to class after leaving the kitten and i have yet to fully comprehend it because i have no braincells for interpreting media. i guess maybe it’s like- aizawa at first felt terrible for not being able to save even a kitten while being enrolled in the most prestigious hero course in the country. getting drenched while settling with (what he considers to be) a cowardly measure is the icing to the cake for his self-hatred. it’s the classic “this might as well happen” scenario to get soaked by random rain or a car splashing you with a puddle on a bad morning. rain is sad. but in comes shirakumo, equally drenched but still the bright light that he is. he’s also done everything aizawa couldn’t but wanted to and more in this situation. he could do it not just because of his storing quirk, but because he held the life of someone who needed saving more important than the school rules. this decorum lets the kitten slide as it makes itself at home in the classroom. the rain stops soon after. but then you have shirakumo’s death. once again, aizawa, and even hizaishi, who’s usually always upbeat (almost every panel of him was just him screaming YEAHHHHH. plz give him more dialogue) both agree that the pouring rain fits the mood. this also brings us back to the present that preceded the flashback- koichi just rescued a cat and a child from a villain with aizawa’s help, and now they’re standing under an awning to escape the rain. this situation is literally almost exactly what happened at the beginning of the flashback which is why i guess it brought it on, but it’s interesting to see what changed- aizawa is the one who’s learned from this situation and teaching the student the meaning of responsibility (using an abandoned cat as an example, no less), and they’re all properly shielded from the elements this time. i guess the conclusion (that could be totally wrong) i’m coming to is that the rain sort of represents the adversaries aizawa faces in life- his self-deprecation, those that don’t believe in him, his personal failures that he has been facing lately. shirakumo has always been there to guide him past it, and once he lifts up aizawa nothing can shake him again. but now that he’s definitively gone, it’s back to haunt him for this one last moment of sheer grief. it’s only this one moment though, as aizawa clearly uses this moment to move on and better himself not just for his sake, but for everyone counting on him. he’s escaped the rain.

it’s so clear how this manifests in the main manga and i’m so happy vigilantes was able to spin out such a good backstory and explanation for his actions!! one of the most immediate ways we see his ideals stand out is his taking in of shinsou as his apprentice from general studies. it’s absolutely because he sees himself in this boy. he has a quirk that’s seemingly useless once you get into combat and everyone thinks he’s a creep for it. more people might even wary around shinsou than aizawa’s case. during the a vs. b practice fights, shinsou explains what he did wrong, clearly upset at himself for not doing enough. aizawa immediately pulls himself up, reminding him that in order to achieve what he just said, he’d have to be a pro, and that what he managed was more than enough. these parallels between aizawa and shinsou are definitely hinted at in the main story, like when midoriya underestimate’s his prowess in combat at usj, but with the vigilantes arc everything is so much clearer. in the main manga, we get a direct reference of aizawa’s expulsion rate in relation to how it helps students grow when they face “’death’” as he’s interrogating kurogiri. though dramatic, i feel like it has to be linked to the dire situation aizawa faced when the pro heros and shirakumo got knocked out during that one fight because of its placement in the chapter. he understands better than most in the story that a lot of times pushes, whether big or small, are needed to grow. he wants to be to his students what shirakumo was to him.

OK EDIT because i didn’t realize there was more to the arc after 64 lol. so obviously after shirakumo dies aizawa’s and hizaishi’s dreams of starting a triple hero agency have been dashed. aizawa seems to distance himself from hizaishi, or at least they’re on uneasy speaking terms. he’s coping by training super hard and is bent on going solo after graduation, the opposite of what they had all planned. but this time, he has conviction on what he’s going to do with himself, and that’s great! he learns that you have to be there for yourself in life. there’s a small montage leading from graduation to where is now in vigilantes and it’s been hard, but he’s been making it. still a lone wolf as ever, aside from the pushes from kayama to become teachers with her and hizaishi at ua. he thinks doing that would be a stupid choice for him, he’s been alone this whole time and doesn’t work well with others (anymore, he thinks). but now that he’s in the cafe with everyone, he changes seeing everyone fawn over the cat but their new dreams of being a popular cat cafe. 

the impact of seeing their newfound hope brings him back to another flashback of the rooftop trio, and THE PARALLELS!!! of them also dreaming to start their hero agency based on their first rescue of sushi the cat. back in the present, aizawa, who’s been spacing off, suddenly realizes the sky and his mind have cleared (THE CLOUDS KEEP COMING BACK AS A METAPHOR!!! if this happens in the main story i’ll cry). i’m still not 100% sure of what exactly makes the dots connect for him, but it’s been hinted through the flashbacks and his reactions to the rescued cat that he’s actually a good teacher himself, though he had been mainly shown to have learned from others around him. he drilled husbandry requirements into shirakumo and interrogated koichi about responsibility as if they were second nature. i think aizawa realized that he’s actually always had a soft spot for watching people grow and do good things and wants to be a part of facilitating that. or at least because he wasn’t able to accomplish doing good with his friends originally, he wants to help other accomplish the goal he couldn’t. also the fact that kayama still sends him updates on sushi isn’t just really nice of her, but it’s also another representation of how aizawa’s convictions he developed as a student still drive him to do what he does today.

MY MAIN POINT IS: aizawa really loves shirakumo. to have so much of his character based in the lessons he purposefully or inadvertently taught him is an amazing testament to that appreciation. aizawa never emotes except for the occasional creepy smile when he psychologically toys with 1a, but the emotion he displayed during the interrogation really caught me by surprise. the apathetic emo character suddenly being truly happy or sad is a cliche but this panel right fucking here was so powerful to me:

yeah his eyes are always bloodshot as a trademark to his quirk, but the emotional EXHAUSTION written on his face is so starkly different than his usual boredom. this feeling that horikoshi illustrates in two small panels is so human that it’s instantly recognizable deep in our hearts. we’ve all been in those heavy and direly serious moments that wrack our mental and emotional fortitudes, where the only response manageable without hideously breaking down is some subtle motion of the hand or crinkle of the face. we all know what this means without understanding the japanese onomatopoeia or needing additional dialogue. before i read vigilantes, i still immediately understood what this man meant to aizawa. and that’s why i love shirakumo so much!! we all know at least a little how aizawa used to feel as a student, and to have someone constantly pushing you and acting as such a light in your moments of darkness is something so incredibly special. i really hope they’re able to get him out of his nomu state so those three can finally become heros together :’)

god!!!!!!!!!!

[retvenkos]

“being here, with you, is all i need.”

DATING TIM GOODMAN HAS TO INCLUDE SOME OF THE FOLLOWING...

first of all, dear god, this boy can be awkward mess when it comes to affection

i mean, we all saw him attempting to flirt with lucy, and can i just say,,, it doesn’t get better after you are actually dating

he will still get tongue-tied, trying to give you compliments

he will still get flustered if you show him affection

and you, my friend,  l o v e  it

as you should

but! he is not always this awkward! because he really does love you! he’s just not the greatest under pressure!

when he’s sleepy, all the feels come out

and he is pretty talkative when he’s tired, so it’s honestly a treat

and if you ask or tease him about it in the morning, he gets very embarrassed and, once again, cannot form coherent sentences

and we all know his dad is trying desperately to help him but uhh,,, it’s a work in progress

but, because he is not the best with words, tim is big on touch

he will hold your hand all. the. time.

it reassures him that you are still there for him. that you’re not leaving anytime soon.

and when he hasn’t seen you all day, he is a hugger

it’s pure and unspoken affection that you live for because it’s just so tim

i hope you know that tim is the king of coffee shop dates at the hi-hat cafe

(you can thank his father for that - it’s one of the few tips that tim actually took to good use.)

and he can ramble about his interests or what he’s been doing for hours as long as he doesn’t pick up on any annoyance or impatience

and tim is really good at picking up vibes, so you can’t fake it

and he will also listen vvv attentively to you talk about whatever is on your mind, nodding at all the right parts and asking the right questions

he’s just awkward when it comes to affection, and honestly, it’s understandable.

oh! he also very much loves to watch movies!! indulge him, because he will watch at least two movies in a row and them sleepy tim comes out, and we all know how endearing that is.

he will let you choose the movie every time, because he’s polite, but if you let him pick, he gets very excited

and it will be a detective show

“you’re more like your dad than you think.”

“very romantic, (y/n).”

“you know what i mean!”

and speaking of the infamous harry goodman,,, he is 10/10 the annoying dad who’s a little too nosy for his own good

time absolutely  h a t e s  it

“c’mon, tim! think of all your relationships that i’ve missed!”

“not many!”

“well, we’ll talk about that later. just give me this!”

“please, dad...”

“i’m not even that bad!”

and, also, tim is so sweet?

he may not be the best at showing it, but 99.99% of his thoughts are about you

he has, like,,, one (1) braincell left over for everything else

but he is still a great detective-in-training??? like,,, it’s truly astounding

and we all know that he gets a pokémon companion

and i’m not exactly sure which one he decides on, but it is most likely the cutest thing you have ever seen

and he talks to it??? all the time???

“does this one also talk back?”

“i swear to you that it happened!”

and you just laugh because you actually do believe him (he’s too earnest about it for you to think otherwise) but it’s just funny to see his reaction

but, on the other side of things, tim is great when it comes to talking about sad stuff

he is the most comforting person to go to, because he will listen to you without judgement

and he’ll  h o l d  you while you cry

and he’ll be the most compassionate person you’ve ever gone to, because he knows what it’s like to live with grief so heavy you just need to break down, sometimes

get you a tim goodman who will treat you right

so, in conclusion, dating this dork is one of the most sweet, pure experiences you could ever have

give this man some love.

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

[icedthoma]

Self-indulgent relationship hcs tag from @edensxgarden and @necccomancy 🥺🥺🥺 I’ve been seeing these around and really wanted to do one, thanks for tagging me!!

rules: ship yourself with your favorite character and give headcanons on how your relationship would go

Jsjdksksk tho this is a BNHA blog and Todoroki Shouto is the loml and my husband—

Lately I’ve been simping hard for kuroo 

So um

Kuroo Relationship H/cs with Yours Truly, T

:D

I like to think we would have been friends as kids or met earlier on like in middle school (no I’m not saying that because I love friends to lovers slowburn ahaha what) 

I get along well with Kenma, we both love cats (tho I also love dogs too) and games and have social anxiety, so by default I got to know Kuroo as a package deal

Idk I guess we vibe as a trio all the way up until high school

He’s quite the popular extrovert now and is friends with literally everyone, but always makes time for me and Kenma, his “OG besties” and I love that

What I don’t love is the amount of people who try to get close to me as a means of getting close to Kuroo >:(

I mean I don’t blame them, puberty hit Kuroo like a t r u c k omg 

Psh, no I don’t like him, I just don’t want to be used. Go talk to him yourself if you’re so interested tcH-

He goes on a few dates, none of which progressed into anything more to my relief surprise, and I’m happy for him, but also worrying he won’t have time for us (me and Kenma) if he gets a girlfriend. What if she doesn’t get along well with the rest of us? Especially Kenma, who doesn’t open up to people all that fast. Would Kuroo choose his newfound partner over us? He’s already busy enough being captain of the volleyball team...

Cue me realizing I do, in fact, have Feelings, and an epic montage of me trying to deny said Feelings over several weeks and only succeeding in spilling my guts out to Kenma 

I’m terrified of rejection, and the thought of confessing my feelings to the person they are for scares the crap out of me. I love our crackheaded single-braincelled friendship, and I don’t want to lose that. But I don’t want to lose Kuroo either, as Kenma helpfully points out. Thanks. 

Somehow it happens, and one day I pull myself together long enough to get my point across to Kuroo in what seems to me like a coherent sentence, the whole time not meeting his gaze that’s like a foot above me so I’d really have to be trying to look him in the eye dangit and literally just waiting for the rejection, the awkwardness that is sure to come for the time after, the fact that I may very well have just ruined things between us--

Wait wtf he likes me back

Things don’t really change all that much even after we start dating, which is a relief. We still roast each other on the daily, he teases me about my height and I get back at him for his messy hair I really wouldn’t have him change for the world and his magenta titration he swears never existed

I text him one (1) periodic table pickup line as a j o k e and suddenly he thinks it’s free real estate and makes a point to incorporate at least one science pun everyday

Chem class is always a joy, as you can see

Nah I really do enjoy them, and he knows I do (the fact I start cackling every time he says one is kind of a dead giveaway skhdsjkssj) so he won’t be stopping anytime soon. I hope not. 

Life with Kuroo is laughing so hard it physically hurts to breathe and stolen kisses when no one’s watching. It’s sending him memes at 2 am and being the first to congratulate him after a win, or to console him after a crushing loss. It’s best-friendship, but with kisses and more holding hands and getting to see his bedhead hair before anyone else in the morning.

And I think that’s the best kind of love. 

~~~~~~~

 uhhhh anyone else who wants to do this can! *throws Pokéball* i choose yOU

[rark-journey]

Innocence

There's this hardback poetry book sitting prettily on the shelf for three years. It's pretty for display, it has a sturdy structure and is shaped like any other old-timey library book, the writing is imprinted in golden lettering-other accents that usually comes with decorative lettering-, which is a contrast to the royal blue cover. The whole blue and golden moment is quite classic, and is very reminiscent of Beauty and The Beast. Anyways.

That book isn't just there to be eaten by mites nor to collect fallen dust to trigger a sneezing episode by anyone who just happen to open it. Best-Loved Poems, it truly live up to it's name, cause it's pretty much loved. Maybe only some of the pages are worn out cause they've faced the sunlight more than the other pages, there are no folds in the corners yet cause the paper is too pretty to be given that treatment, no pen scribbles of little thoughts that were provoked by the seemingly endless lines. However there's this one poetry that knocked my brain for some spare thought. At first glance, it sounds very philosophical -sorry Plato- but also incomplete. I thought it was the punchline of a longer script, but as curiosity got the best of me and I had to follow the cat down the search engine deep dive.

"To see a world in a grain of sand

and a Heaven in a wildflower

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

and Eternity in an hour"

Those 4 lines, are actually the opening for William Blake's Auguries of Innocence (1863). Seemingly, it's a thought provoking short stanza that portrays Blake's rendition of what innocence is. After reading and absorbing, and practically injecting it to my vein so I could process the words -it's written in old English so I don't blame any modern day avid poetry rookies if their brain short circuited, cause mine definitely did-  the rest of the script, it's more ominous than it is hopeful and cute. As in, it's so close to reality even after hundreds of years of these words written in paper -or whatever the media was at that time-

The first 4 lines of the poetry gives us an understanding that through the eye of someone innocent, there are beauty and greatness in disposable things we don't even think about or maybe even throw out without a second thought, like a grain of sand and wild flowers. Through the eye of innocence, our mundane experiences are amplified into something unmeasurable and inexplicable, like Eternity and Infinity. Those entry lines have a hopeful undertone that through innocence our lives can have more meaning than we initially give it, or that these traits are the omen of a pure heart.

However, there are a hundred, if more, lines left that haven't been dissected. By that I mean I don't think I have enough capacity in me to read between every lines, but the general topic for the next 100 lines or so dwells around the opposite of innocence. That is the corrupt ways this World could turn, and most of the time it's against us. From violence, war, desire, envy, power lust, lust in general, lost of faith, doubt, to living without passion.

"If the Sun and Moon should doubt

Theyd immediately go out"

One of the couplet that struck me, it might not the that profound, because the knowledge that each morning the sun rises and each dusk it sets, like how each night the moon rises and each dawn it sets. The two, in polarity, would take over each other's role. It's something that is surely to happen, there's no doubt behind it. Like cycles and consequences, the Sun and the Moon have set each their roles and live up to it day by day for as long as they've known.

In our lives, there are too many doubts behind each and every action. Too many :what ifs' that we dwell upon until we ended not doing any of them, or maybe we finished whatever task we're supposed to do but left with more anxiety than before. Whatever event that prompt this doubt, often times is just an illusion wrapped in self-criticism and self-blame. Whether or not these illusion came to life and ostracize one's self confidence to ever finish task ever again, it's still only ever be a consequence. Fearing of consequences whilst staying inactive is still far worse than following through with an act and what comes after it, for it's surely coming and the more energy you waste from running from it will only put you out.

You can imagine how hard my final two braincells are working, whenever I thoroughly read this poem.

However, the poem doesn't end on a defeating premise. After being reminded on how corrupted and insidious the World is; Blake is kind enough to give us a warm hug and a cup of sleppy time tea in the final few couplets.

"Every Night & every Morn

Some to Misery are Born 

Every Morn and every Night

Some are Born to sweet delight"

Even to those who loses sleep and overthinks during the night, Blake is kind enough to believe for us, that there's Divine intervention at play. To those who innocently wonders under the bright sun's ray, are one step closer to feeling like a human again.

At this point, brain fried, no longer able to form coherent words, I can see why Plato doesn't acknowledge poetry as philosophy. There are too many times where poems are dancing around the subject instead of explicitly telling us what to do, or presents us with a subject to hyperfixate over, like how most modern philosophy are in my mind. I can't say I agree with Plato though, there's a certain charm that comes from dancing isn't there?

Like how William Blake wrote Auguries of Innocence, if he would blatantly say 'the world is corrupted but if you try to keep your childlike wonders and innocent it might be bearable', it wouldn't be a seasoned poem. Not at all. It would just be... a famous tweet screenshoted and redistributed on instagram, probably.

Poetry is just choreographed philosophy, which makes that Royal blue, hardback, Beauty and The Beast themed book one of my favorite philosophy written work.

[chikinnuggie]

Hello anon, I would like to inform you that you are an asshole. You misgender and deadname people, accuse them of things that are untrue, and do it in their friend’s ask box? Do you have any braincells left, or did you spend them all trying to compose a coherent reason to hate them? Because quite frankly, it’s obvious you are trying to do nothing more than to get a reaction out of people by dragging Raine’s name through the mud. I can’t help but wonder, why you think it’s so fun. Some sort of sadistic pastime, maybe? Or perhaps you like being yelled at. I truly hope one day you will look back on this, and weep. Weep for all the anger and sorrow you try to cause. Weep, for this is what you enjoyed. Weep, because hopefully, you’ve changed. Who knows. Maybe you won’t change. That’s quite a possibility, as this sadistic game of yours has been going on for months. I wonder, are you happy?

//Sierra has guilted a lot of her "friends" into doing things for her because she doesn't know when to stop taking projects on because she wants attention from them.

//First of all, THEIR name is RAINE. Are you the same person who made the blog mocking them? Because I have no respect for you. Leave my fucking blog and leave them alone//