#was thinking abt this on the drive home from the store today and was like idk there's something abt the reflective aspect of mirror pronoun

[zukkaoru]

been thinking abt dazai using mirror pronouns recently. they don't really see themself as nonbinary or trans, but they also don't exactly feel cis, and making the identity of the people around them dictate how they're referred to is a way for them to remedy that. it's fun for them. and dazai isn't the one who has to worry about which pronouns to use to refer to herself anyway; that's everyone else's problem. and there's something about the reflective aspect of it, too. dazai doesn't feel particularly human, but maybe if everyone around her is reflecting themselves onto her, she can at least pretend. she can at least be seen as something human-like. dazai sees themself as a reflection of humanity itself; not the real thing, but a rather convincing imitation. they look the part, even if they don't feel it. even if they don't believe they'll ever feel human. if everyone around her reflects their own humanity onto her, she feels a little less like a fake. she feels like she's taking some of their humanity for herself, cloaking herself in snippets of everyone else, but only stealing the bits and pieces she knows they won't miss. dazai becomes human by reflecting those around them, by taking in their love and their kindness and their passion and their humanity and imitating it until it becomes part of who she is. until she can be human too. am i making any sense. do you understand. does this mean anything

[yangbbokari]

Skz makes a bet on you Maknae Line

Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader

Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU

Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities. I think that abt it

Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them

A.N: Not proof read at all and this is the maknae line to the previous one. Both part twos will be coming out soo I promise🤭

Parts: Hyung Line Part 2

HAN JISUNG It was his birthday and you were more than happy to surprise him. The members were in on it too. To suddenly stop during practice and sit him down.

For the whole day you were preparing. Making a cheesecake for him and baking a cake for the rest of the members. You decorated the cheesecake in some little quokka cake pops. After you were done, you began cooking his favorite meals and packing them up. When all the cooking, making, and cooking was done, you found that you had more time on your hands. So you felt the need to clean the house so it’d be all tidy when he got back.

You checked the time before heading out. The house was clean, food was ready, now all you needed to do was get a gift and drive to the company. As you strolled through the store a very particular item caught your eye. A small clip earring with a feather at the end. It was perfect. Jisung always called you his, quote on quote, “Little Dove.”

So you grabbed it and put it in a little box with a bow.

You drove to the company excitedly. Giving the food to the staff before making your way to the practice room. You were just about to step in when you heard it. The color drained form your face and the excitement you held earlier, gone.

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since me and y/n started dating and we made that bet.” You heard your boyfriend say.

Bang Chan tried to stop him. “Jisung, I think—”

“You guys have to remember! We made a bet to see if I could pull y/n. Y’all made me go up to her and ask if she wanted to date me because she seemed lonely and if she agreed then I’d get 20 bucks from each of y’all.”

You could hear the boys try to stop him since they knew you were here but it was too late. They turned to see the door to the practice room slowly creak open. Standing there with the cake in your hands and tears in your eyes.

“Happy Birthday, Baby.” You said as tears fell from your eyes. Quickly wiping them away since it was supposed to be a happy occasion. Placing the cake into a staff members hands, you shoved the box into your pocket. “I-I-I guess I’ll give you what you want for your birthday gift.” You turned and ran as far as you can. Dropping the gift into the trash can on your way out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE FELIX He knew you were this insecure so how could he say that. You’d always hated your figure since before you could remember. Whenever you met someone new, that was the first thing they noticed. The size of your body. You hated the way you looked but Felix always told you different. He made you believe you were as beautiful as you are and you slowly gained your confidence.

That was until today. The confidence he helped you build, he tore down himself.

Today, you came home a bit earlier than usual. When walking through the door, you announced your arrival but Felix was nowhere in sight. You could hear the slight mumbling coming from another room. You had forgotten. He had told you that Minho was coming this morning.

After taking off your shoes and hanging your coat, you walked over to the door. Just so happening to hear what they were conversing. The cat-like boy began first. “You remember that bet we made?”

“Hmm?” Your boyfriend replied.

“You’ve got to give it to me that you and y/n started dating in the first place.” “Ohhh!!! That’s what you’re talking about. The bet, right?”

“Yeah, when I told you I’d give you one hundo if you got the fat girl’s number. Now it’s been two years since you guys started dating.” Too immersed in your own shock, you dropped the items you were holding. Tears filled your eyes. Both, Felix and Minho’s, heads jerked in your direction.

“Y/n? How long have you been standing there?” Felix asked you in a panic.

“N-not long…”

You picked up your things from the floor, reput on your shoes and coat, grabbed your keys, and headed out the door. You didn’t know if you could stay any longer. You felt hurt to hear that. He helped you through your insecurities just to make it worse than before he arrived. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ KIM SEUNGMIN Your whole world fell apart. And so did your oh so perfect relationship with Seungmin.

It was just a petty argument that came from stress and the lack of sleep but it still hurt you. It actually hurt more than you thought it would. But what hurt most of all was what you had to find out.

Seungmin returned home after tour extremely tired so you did your best. You made sure he had every meal and wasn't overwhelmed. But apparently, you didn't do enough. He began to berate you for even the smallest things and it tore your heart apart.

One day, as you laid on the bed the two of you shared, he slammed the bedroom door open. You flinched and looked up at him. A little bit annoyed you asked, "The hell was that for?"

He sighed and glared at you.

"You want to know? This comeback has been stressful and all you do is lay in bed all day. You never clean around the house even though you're only doing a part-time job. I mean seriously, are you just going to be that FUCKING LAZY!?"

You looked at him in disbelief. Never in a million years did you ever expect to see this side of him.

"I literally just got done cooking and came to lay on the bed. I was waiting for YOU to get home. I washed our clothes, folded them, put them away, then cleaned around the house. I did all this because I know you like your place tidy. Plus, a clean space is better for the mind."

"You call this clean!? It looks like a pigsty." You felt the tears blazing at the corner of your eyes. "Don't fucking say that. I'm trying my best to not say anything right now." "Say it then!!" He yelled. You huffed and turned away not wanting to argue any longer. "Yeah... turn away like you always do. I should've just left you as a bet. Never loved you in the first place."

It was a slip of the tongue. He didn't mean it. Or did he? Either way, it hurt you. Seungmin knew he was wrong but didin't want to admit itin the heat of the moment.

You turned to face him, finally letting the tears out. "Fuck you..." Was all you said before grabbing your phone and leaving the house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YANG JEONGIN It was accidental. Jeongin was so flustered in the moment that he confessed everything to you. He didn't intend for you to find out like this but how else were you suppose to?

The both of you were at dinner with the other members. They all teased Jeongin for being such a simp for you. You just chuckled at their antics. It was cute to see the youngest member get teased by his hyungs and you were glad to witness it all in first person.

Jeongin, being fed up, accidentaly let it slip.

"Well it was because you guys made a bet with me that if I could pull y/n then y'all would buy me the new Bruno Mars album."

Everyone went silent as you slowly faced him. "What did you say..?"

Jeongin immediately placed a hand over his mouth. Tears brimmed your eyes. You stood up, excusing yourself. "I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." None of them even tried to stop you. They knew that they'd be devastated in your situation too.

Were you being a little dramatic? The answer was yes. You could've heard Jeongin out instead of hiding in the bathroom. But at this point, you weren't so sure. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ taglist: @lolareadsimagines @garrixer-06 @bandolls @chansbabygirlsstuff @camilagonzalex @mariteez @beccaskz

[oharamwah]

ଓ + — soft boyfriend headcanons

boyfriend!miguel x fem!reader

contents : fluuuufff and some nsfw, super messy and all over the place. i’m telling u this is so unstructured.

no heavy nsfw but suggestive themes under the cut

posted august 1st - to be edited !

© oharamwah, please do not steal my work.

i’m so down bad for this man and he isn’t even real but that means i get to make up whatever headcanons i like abt what it’d be like to date him 😋

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ｡･ﾟﾟ･･｡ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ｡･ﾟﾟ･｡⋆

♡ i just wanna get straight to the point — miguel’s kisses are soooo. mmph.

♡ he’s the type to keep things at a small peck when others are around or when you two are a little busy and on your feet

♡ like he’ll be at work like always and you’ll pop into his home office just to drop off a snack and he’ll pull you closer by your chin to kiss you DKSJDHSKLD

♡ and when he’s working from home and he’s in sweatpants (a rare sight for many) and he has his thin wiry dad glasses on oh my

♡ buuuut, but. this man knows how to kiss properly too

♡ also we all know miguel is bossy, and this applies both in and out of the workplace

♡ he is huuuuuge on princess treatment

♡ making sure you barely have to lift a finger to do anything when he’s around, especially during intimate hours

♡ he is big on aftercare, never wants you to feel any pain during or after sex. well, with some exceptions. all he wants is for you to feel good. so, if you ask him for a tummy massage or a back rub, he’ll do it no hesitation.

♡ like ok i’m not gonna make this an nsfw hc post but… spanking 🤗

♡ anyway.. he’s definitely the type of boyfriend to keep lots of baby wipes and deodorant and any girly things you’d need in a separate bathroom cupboard, exclusively for you and when you stay the night

♡ speaking of, refuses to let you pay for anything when you’re out shopping. say you walk by the department store and you remember that you ran out of pads or shampoo, he has it covered

♡ he’s just so… idk he loves taking care of you in every aspect.

♡ y’know when boyfriends carry their girlfriend’s bridal style when their high heels hurt their feet ?? yeah that’s miguel.

♡ again, he hates seeing you in any kind of pain. even if your shoulder bag is just a little too heavy, he’s got it

♡ always reminds you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.

♡ you’ll be getting ready for a fancy dinner party and you’re staring at yourself in the mirror feeling a little self conscious, poking and pinching at parts of your tummy, arms, anything you felt insecure about at the time

♡ and instead of letting you know that he saw you, he’d come up from behind you and just start showering you with compliments and butterfly kisses

♡ because the last thing he wants is for you to feel even more insecure because you got caught, he just wants you to know what he thinks about you

♡ “so pretty my angel, is that a new dress?”

♡ he’d ask, knowing he’s the one that bought it

♡ *kiss* “you do your makeup differently today?” *kiss* “i like it, honey.”

♡ AGGHH he’s just too sweet. he always knows how to make you feel comfortable.

♡ king of small kind gestures because even though he could compliment you and all that jazz, you find that he doesn’t really say “i love you” that often. instead, he shows it to you

♡ he knows exactly how you like your eggs, down to the amount of salt and pepper you use

♡ he also knows you like peeling your own oranges but you always struggle to start them, so he’d use his fangs to peel a little piece for you to peel from

♡ and he pre-slices all the lemons because he knows you like lemon water but you kinda suck at using knives

♡ if you leave your glasses/sunnies at his place, he’ll take it upon himself to clean them for you

♡ knows the kinds of snacks you like on movie nights so he stocks up on them, never leaving his pantry empty. no, he never eats snacks, but he knows you do <3

♡ he’s also the type to drive you out wherever and whenever you want. night drives, sunset viewing, anything you wanna do he’s willing to take you there. you’re his passenger princess!!

♡ also omg so random but i feel like he’s lowkey insecure of his fangs. like he knows they can be a bit intimidating and cause some worry, so whenever he smiles around you he tries to keep them inside but they just peek out his lips and it’s skfkskfj so cute

♡ and when he laughs he covers his mouth so sometimes you have to place your hand over his, and he’ll look at you all “what..?” and you’ll peel his hand back and be all cute about it

♡ “show me your smileee” and he gets all SHYYY

♡ he’s definitely the angry/grumpy shy with you, he can’t help but feel a little embarrassed about being shy or flustered but he also kinda enjoys the feeling

♡ sorry this is so unorganized but i just had another thought

♡ he’s just so familiar with being in the same bed as you by now that he can tell when somethings wrong just by the movements you’re making

♡ or if you’re shifting around a lot in your spot, he won’t say anything but he’ll grab onto your waist to let you know he’s there and he’ll pull you a bit closer so you feel more at ease

♡ AND EVEN IF YOU ARENT IN HIS BED, he’ll never go into your spot. that’s your spot. though he does take the pillow and hug it sometimes. sometimes..

♡ he even washes your pillowcase more often than he washes his sheets because he knows how particular you are about your skincare and haircare

♡ but he’s also super particular about his own hygiene, constantly freshening himself up with like spray deodorants and stuff. and a lot of mouth wash. he takes dental care very seriously.

♡ like he even reminds you to floss every night and prepares you a cup of mouth wash and seals it with a kiss hehdheh

♡ that man is so clean. deadass. he works so hard yes but he always makes sure to be clean because the last thing he wants is to be a loser that SMELLS bad (LOLLDFKMSM)

♡ you’re the only person he’ll listen to when it comes to bedtime

♡ he’s always being scolded by his colleagues to get more sleep because his under eyes are getting darker than a winter night sky

♡ but he always just brushes them off — unless it’s you

♡ he’s actually kinda nervous to make you upset. like he could never even dream of making you upset or mad at him he couldn’t handle that

♡ you two never argue, you only have very passionate debates

♡ you’re usually right in the end, and he accepts that. he just hates when you two disagree. so when apologizing for being stubborn and making you upset, he speaks in a way softer tone than he would anyone else. it’s a bit higher than his normal voice and it’s very airy, very comforting and apologetic

♡ he’s just such a softie for youuuu waoooowwww

♡ anyway i’m gonna post this and come back to it when i have new ideas instead of posting a bunch of separate ones <3 enjoy angels !

[old-stoneface]

i drove my mom and little siblings to the grocery store the other day and we had to take a different route than usual, and it freaked my mom out Really Badly that i missed our turn, and then she proceeded to be neurotic for the rest of the drive and when we got there she was like "i cant do this. im going to drive us home" and i was like pretty pissed off because i genuinely did great, like, i got us there safely, i didnt fuck up At All, it was fine. and even tho she apologized later for being ridiculous it was a huge blow to my confidence and i felt weirdly horrible about myself because i had been hoping to prove to her that she Could trust me in the car but her own anxiety stopped us from having a moment of "wow, i guess we can get along under stress!" then just earlier today i was thinking abt all the times ive driven up to this point, just thinking about how i drove around two different cities and on the highway twice, and i was like oh god its not me, it really was my mom, i have been doing perfectly fine and im a fast learner. i dont have to take it personally. im trying to build my confidence back up lmao

[frogdadskeleton]

29.1. 

Kcal: 578

Fast: 21h

Steps: 20 000

Exercise: 2h ballet, 35 min stretching

Lemon water (1)

Vitamin B drink (0)

2 cups of black coffee (4)

Monster ultra golden pineapple (10)

Gum (1)

Coke zero (1)

Pastilles (1)

Cottage cheese (276)

Raw bar (153)

Quinoa (131)

For once I'm kind of happy w my steps lol

God what a day (maybe a bit of a tw idk)

I didn't eat until the evening and i got basically no sleep last night (maybe 30 mins of shut-eye) but for some reason i didn't feel sleepy or hungry most of the day.

I could rly feel the lack of cals at practice today. Not only was every muscle in my body shaking like on the brink of failure. But my brain fog also made me mess up choreo more than usual. Not badly, idek if the teacher noticed, but i was beating myself up abt it. I'm v critical of myself.

So i was already feeling kinda shitty after class but then i also made myself walk home (it's not that far only 6 km) in freezing rain/sleet and strong wind. A bus driving by splashed me w dirty slush 🙃 i made some v nice hand gestures towards the driver.

I was soaked & freezing when i got home and my body was aching. I was feeling so miserable but my favourite person cheered me up 🐀 I did my stretching (after composing myself on the floor for a mo), showered, weighed myself and ate w virtually no guilt bc of the number i saw.

I had a full tub of cottage cheese (its such a safe food for me) and then some quinoa w it once it had boiled.

I think i burnt over 1000 cals today... and when i weighed myself after the long day of activity and fasting i had dropped a full kilo, from yesterday wtf. I'm at my next week's gw now... Ik i should've eaten more, but i don't have much food at home. I had a fucking mental breakdown at the grocery store today so i didn't buy all the things i was supposed to. Don't ask...

[paralien]

now that it's 23:30 and I'm situated at work again, here's today's blog update on the adventures of Fanya aka: got woken up at 12 today (3hrs after I'd gone to bed) by mom being at the door. I greet her in a sleep top and my underwear and she hands me a redbull and a cinnamon bun from the store and tells me to sit down with her.

"me and your father are canceling our vacation, and he can't join you to look at cars on Saturday because your grandmother just died."

last thing I'm expecting to hear as I'm sitting there in literally just my underwear. like, in retrospect it's a pretty funny way to receive news. esp if you believe in ghosts. like yes hello grandmother you just died in an awful way and this sucks but also, how does your ghost feel abt seeing your favorite grandchild receive these news in her underwear. awful.

feel like a dick too bc I'd been near her house just a few weeks ago for an appointment w the roomie (sophie) but I'd been too exhausted to visit her so I'd just started driving home while thinking that I'd get the opportunity to do it again another time. so much for that.

anyways, after all of that i just went to bed again and slept until 21, woke up, made coffee but it tasted like shit. ate an old bun. and just sat on the couch until Sophie came back home from work w stolen goods to cheer me up. I made an awful joke and burst into tears, and then i arrived late at work. whee.

so now im here for the next 8hrs. I'm gonna do the bare minimum.

[videostak]

its 4 and i still havent eaten T-T what i ended up doin was i realized when i was at the thrift the car was super low on gas so i waas like guess ill tell my dad to fill it up when he comes home so that i can go tomorrow to the mall maybe cause he had said the first day i drove to the record store in it that he was gonna go fill it up but i think he mustve been p busy or forgot so 2day i was like o ya i should remind him cause i didnt realize like HOW LOW it was til i was at the thrift lolllll like it was like almost empty since its like just a real lil meter and not anything thats lit up i straight up didnt notice til i was there lol. and i kno cars u kno can last for a while even right at the end so like i rly didnt have anything to worry abt but i was also like loll. anyways i came home and was chilling but then realized like ya thatd be annoying for me to tell my dad i drove today then tell him to fill it up so i just drove to get gas myself rn :D was p fun like just stuff like that i have to do more and more u kno to like actually start to feel like its my car and like just my own thing ^_^ tho also realized that the mirrors arent aligned to my eyes lol so i kinda had to duck a bit to see thru them but ill have to remember to fix them next time i go in. also realllly need to work on getting from like moving back to first cause its p hard tbh . or i dont think im doing it rough enough maybe idk. but driving on streets seems easy peasy! like kinda feels natural really the lil shuffle i do with my feet and stuff. i hawnestly dont even kno what im doing with my feet sometimes LOL like kinda just balancing the clutch and gas v weirdly but like its not making the engine jerk or do anything weird so i guess im driving it right! atleast right enough for the time being. jusst have to work on turning and driving slow/going back to 1st when its needed and slopes n stuffff. but like i can manage p well it seems. ^~^ also gonna get burgers with my sister when she gets out of work which is like in an hour and thirty minutes so ill just eat smthn light for the time being :-)

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Fashion Show: Eddie Munson

Stranger Things Masterlist 

word count: 800

request: i cant stop thinking abt doing a little runway show for eddie after you go shopping🥺🥺🥺🥺 it's be so adorable and you'd like do a catwalk on the tables aaa i just love this man so much

Nancy had invited you and Robin to come shopping with her as a girl's weekend just so the three of you could catch up with each other without any distractions. The three went to the next town over from Hawkins and spent the whole day looking at various clothes and catching up. You three were on your way to the food court to get some food when you passed a store with the most gorgeous dress in the window.

"You should try it on, I think it would look great on you." Robin said.

"She's right, let's go find it so you guys could try it on." Nancy said pulling you into the store as Robin followed behind.

"Guys I thought we were getting food." You said.

"We are, but this is more important because a dress like that might not be here when we get back." Nancy said as her and Robin sorted through the racks looking for the dress.

"Guys it's really not that big of a deal. We could go..." You started to say as Robin cut you off.

"Found it! Come on your trying it on!" She said pushing you towards the dressing room much to your dismay.

You rolled your eyes as you set your bags down and took the dress from Robin. You found an empty stall and locked it while you changed. You slide the dress over your head and really liked the way it looked on you, it was the perfect length and everything. You unlocked the door and walked out to go show the girls, whose jaws dropped when they saw you.

"So what do we think?" You asked giving a small twirl.

"I think if Eddie doesn't appreciate you in that dress then I will." Robin said making you laugh.

"She's right, you look good. Do you feel good in it?" Nancy asked as you nodded your head.

"Good now go get changed so we can buy it and go get some food." Nancy said as you headed back into the changing room.

You got changed and grabbed the dress which Nancy took from your hands confused, as you gathered your bags and met her by the doorway of the store.

"Nancy you didn't have to do that." You said as she handed you the bag with your dress in it.

"I know but I wanted to. So now let's go get something to eat." She said as you two nodded your heads and left the store.

The three of us got something to eat and sat there talking before checking out a few stores and starting the drive back home. Nancy turned on the street where you lived and could already see Eddie's van sitting in your driveway, as Robin nudged your shoulder making you laugh.

"Will you two stop it." You said with a laugh.

"Oh come on girl, we are living through you and your relationship right now since we don't have one." Nancy said making you laugh and shake your head at them.

You said your goodbyes to them promising to fill them in on what happened and headed inside your house calling out for Eddie who came barreling down the hallway towards you.

"I missed you so much." He said pressing a kiss to your lips.

"I missed you too but you're crushing me and my new clothes." You said with a laugh as he let you go.

"Oo does that mean I get a fashion show?" He asked.

"Do you want one?" You asked him.

"I would love one since I had to be stuck here all day without you." He said dramatically making you laugh.

"Alright go take a seat on the couch and I'll show you what I got." You said watching as he happily took a seat on the couch.

You got changed and showed him everything but the dress wanting to save that for last. Each time you came out he would cheer and tell you how good you looked in each piece. It was finally time for the dress and you were nervous about his reaction.

"Alright, this last piece is my favorite thing I got today." You said as you walked into the living room watching Eddie's jaw dropped.

"So what do you think?" You asked watching as he stood up and walked over to you.

"I think you look insanely beautiful right now along with some other thoughts." He said giving you a small twirl.

"Really?" You asked him feeling the heat rise to your cheeks.

"The most beautiful thing in this whole state." He said placing a kiss on your lips.

[pedrito-friskito]

Omg I forgot we were supposed to ask for thoughts lmao I'm dumb ANYWAYS I would love some 🦦 Frankie, maybe his girl stepping up for him and what he feels abt that? Idk I think itd be cute but anyways congrats!!!!!!

omg your asks made me giggle YOU’RE NOT DUMB ♥️

this prompt did something to me so….ENJOY THANK YOUUUUU FOR THE SUBMISSION GIVE ME MORE IF YOU WANT 🥰 I actually enjoyed writing this so much frank castle genuinely lives in my heart and this felt so good

the sweetest thing - frank castle x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of frank’s past, a bit of violence (lol), drinking, a bunch of kissing, absolute FLUFF

✨kay’s 300 follower celebration✨

You knew what he was right from the start. Frank knew that. It made him feel safe, wanted, whole. Everything he’d been missing for so long, all wrapped up and delivered to him in one perfect little package: you.

You, who kissed his scars and didn’t ask questions when he couldn’t handle them, who always seemed to know when he needed to talk about something from his past or when he needed a distraction from a reminder that had caught him off-guard. You, who let him into your home and your bed without a second thought, not afraid of what the world had painted him to be, not worried what your friends might say, not concerned with the repercussions. They didn’t exist, you claimed. What you and him had, that was all that mattered. Nothing else, just you and him.

Frank wakes some days with a ghost on his shoulder, Maria’s voice in his ear and his kids’ laughter echoing through his head. You’ve come to recognize those days, to help him figure out what he needs: distraction or discussion. And you’re patient — fuck, are you ever — coaxing him through what feels like a never-ending darkness until he can feel something again, something besides numb.

Some days, it takes everything in him just to get out of bed, to go through the motions; pour the coffee, put on his work boots, get in the car, drive to the job site. Some days, the only bright spot in the eighteen hours he’s awake is walking through that door, finding you with a smile on your face and open arms just for him.

It’s not always like that, though. Some days, he feels normal. He feels almost like he had before…everything. When he was just Frank Castle, when he wasn’t the Punisher. When his body count wasn’t beginning to look like a phone number. Pushing the cart after you in the grocery store, walking the dog with your hand tucked in his, dragging you to a scary movie just so you’ll hide in his shoulder and let him hold you in the theatre.

Today, has been a strange mix of both.

He woke feeling…okay. Regular day: get up, shower, head downstairs to find you perched on the counter. There’s a fresh cup of coffee in your hand and his too-big t-shirt covering your body, ass sliding off the countertop as he steps into the kitchen, handing him his travel mug and leaning up on your toes for a kiss. Maybe not a regular day, maybe a good day.

Frank hums against your mouth, smiling against your lips when you start to giggle, lifting your arms up to twine them around his neck. God, if you aren’t just the sweetest damn thing.

“I was thinking,” you start, letting your head loll back when he drags his mouth down to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses across your skin and making you giggle more, “we could go to that new restaurant tonight? The one Karen was telling us about?”

“Whatever you want, sweet girl,” Frank replies, a little preoccupied as his hand travels down your back, reaching down to squeeze a handful of cheek and earning a squeal from you. “As long as I get to take you home after.”

“You always get to take me home, Castle,” you quip, running a hand through his hair when he lifts his head to look you in the face. He’s been growing it out — at your request, he might add — and you’re obsessed, touching it whenever you get the chance, giving him shit for how soft it is because, “all you do is shampoo it and it’s like silk! It’s unfair!”

You also claim it’s easier to grab onto when he’s got his face between your legs, but that’s a story for another time.

“I know,” Frank says, tilting his face down so he can kiss you lightly, a smile still on his face. Okay, definitely a good day. You have that effect. “But it’s still nice to hear you say it.”

The next kiss he gives you is a little heavier, an arm wrapped around your waist, lifting you up and against him, free hand squeezing your thigh. He can’t get enough of you, especially when you make this little noise, a satisfied hum that sinks into his chest and goes straight to his heart.

“Okay, okay, you need to go to work, and I need to put on some pants,” you say after a moment, reluctantly pushing at his shoulder until he sets you back on the counter. “Go, before I change my mind and drag you upstairs.”

Frank chuckles, dropping one more kiss to your mouth before gathering his coffee mug and his lunch from the fridge before heading out, calling out an I love you! as he steps out the door. By the time he’s slid into the driver’s seat of his truck, his phone buzzes in his shirt pocket.

I love you too, Castle, and don’t you forget it. ♥️

+

Karen had failed to mention where the restaurant actually was.

All she had to tell you was that there was fresh parmesan on the pasta and you were sold. Frank took a bit more convincing, conceding when there was a mention of sixty different kinds of beers, but it’s not until he’s pulling the truck up to the curb outside the building, that he realizes just where he is, and his heart sinks into his toes.

The carousel.

It’s far off, but it’s there, twinkling in the distance, cleaned of all the remnants of the last time he was there. It feels like a lifetime ago; the scar on his forearm twinges with the memory. But it’s there, and for a brief moment, he’s got half a mind to turn the truck around and drive in the opposite direction until he runs out of road.

But then you put a gentle hand on his arm, making him flinch, and he’s yanked out of the memory, stuck back in his seat next to you. “What is it, baby?” you ask quietly, not phased by the jolt of his body, your thumb swiping over the sleeve of his shirt. Your palm is directly over the scar on his arm, and he wonders if you know that, or if you’re really just that good. “Are you okay?”

Frank feels himself go red, flush crawling up the back of his neck and painting his ears. He drops his eyes to his lap, fingers tangling, and out of the corner of his eye, sees your head cock to the side, brows knitting together. He forces himself to look up after a moment, to turn his head to you.

He feels guilty, instantly. You look so pretty, your hair pulled back in a ponytail just like you know he likes and your lips a soft pink colour that makes his own mouth ache to be on yours. You were so excited when he got home, already half dressed to leave, calling to him from upstairs to come do up the zipper on your dress and get his ass in the shower. 

It’s supposed to be a regular day. A good day. And he’s making it anything but.

“S’the carousel,” he mumbles, jutting his chin in the direction, his gaze flickering from you to the lights to you and then back to his lap again.

You curse under your breath, looking around, squeezing his arm. “Oh. Fuck. Honey, it’s okay, we can go somewhere else. That pizza place, close to home? I know we ate there on Sunday, but it’s your favourite and I—”

Frank leans across the centre console, untangling his fingers so he can cup your cheek in his palm, your skin warm against his and that same satisfied hum reaching his ears when his mouth meets yours. He kisses you enough to keep your lipstick intact, pecking your nose and then your forehead before he pulls back, hand still holding your face, thumb swiping your cheekbone. “No, sweetheart, let’s go.”

He sees it, sees the happiness spread through your features, leaning into his palm for a moment longer before you’re reaching for the door handle and slipping out onto the curb. Frank gets out quickly, rounding the front of the truck and falling into step beside you. You hook your arm around his waist, hand squeezing his hip, and he feels okay again, safe. Wanted. Whole.

Dinner is phenomenal, the both of you eating your fill and stealing bites of the other’s food, laughing and carrying on well into the night. Frank pulls back after a couple beers, but encourages you to have another few drinks if you want — they have some pineapple tequila thing you’re instantly hooked on, and he just wants to treat his lady. Dessert is a piece of red velvet cake that makes you audibly moan, your heel dragging up the front of Frank’s shin as you do, and he just shakes his head at you across the table, watching you lick the icing from your fork.

“You better watch yourself, sweet girl,” he says, his voice low, leaning forward slightly. “Might have to dine and dash if you keep looking at me like that.”

“Hey, I already promised to go home with you tonight,” you laugh, winking at him. “You don’t need to—”

“Holy shit, that’s Frank Castle!”

And there goes the evening.

Frank wants to sink into the leather seat and disappear. He has no idea who the tall, blonde man approaching your table is, but he’s instantly a mix of anxiety, anger, and something that tastes like fear. Confusion ripples through your features, and you curl your fingers around his wrist as the man comes to a stop in front of you.

“Excuse me?” you ask, your voice dripping with annoyance, but the man pays you no mind, crossing his arms over his chest and addressing Frank only. Frank keeps his eyes trained on your face, refusing to look at the man. Just keep looking at you, that’s all he needs to do. Just keep looking at…

“I didn’t think they’d like a criminal like you in a place like this,” the man says, laughing unkindly. The word criminal feels like a hot knife in the back of Frank’s neck, and you must feel him go tense in your grip, because you shoot him a glance, raising a brow slowly. “In fact, I didn’t even think they’d let you walk the streets of this city again, but here I am—”

“Excuse me,” you say again, this time your voice louder. Apparently realizing he’s not going to get a response from Frank, the man finally turns to you. “Can we help you with something?”

“I don’t know, can you?” the man asks, his sarcastic tone only making your face darken. “How can you be with someone like this, huh?”

“Do us a favour,” you say, your voice slow, and Frank watches as you stand from your seat, releasing his wrist only to put both hands on your hips, “and fuck off.” 

The man is incredulous, face going red, and it’s truly a miracle that Frank hasn’t put him on the floor yet, but you’re holding your own just fine. “Don’t you know who he is?” the man continues. “What he did?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you say, volume rising. “You must be new. Oddly enough, it’s considered rude to walk up to random strangers in restaurants and question their life choices, so I’ll say it again, since you apparently didn’t hear me the first time: fuck off.”

People are looking now, turning in their chairs to find the source of the foul language, but Frank barely notices, his eyes trained on your face, gaze unwavering from the way the irritation and anger rolls off of you. The man opens his mouth again, and Frank can’t stifle the smile that pulls at his mouth at your dramatic eye roll, arms crossing over your chest.

“He’s a criminal!” the man shouts, reaching for your arm, and Frank flinches. You must see it, and it all happens so quickly that Frank doesn’t actually realize what’s happening until it’s over, until the man is on the floor, clutching his nose, and you’re shaking out your hand with a grimace.

He taught you how to punch very early on in your relationship. Knowing that you knew how to handle yourself was important to him, and you were a quick (and hot) study. But, in the heat of the moment, you might have forgotten to brace you thumb outside your knuckle rather than in. 

“For the third time,” you wince, gripping your hand, leaning over and staring down at the man, “you can fuck. right. off.”

“Self-defence!” someone from a neighbouring table shouts, and you turn with a grin as Frank gets to his feet. “I saw him reaching for you! Self-defence!”

A few waiters and a woman who he assumes to be the manager are starting to walk towards you, and Frank swipes your purse off the table, tucking it under his arm and reaching for you, helping you step around the now-moaning man on the floor, blood pouring from his nose. One of the waiters hands you ice wrapped in a napkin, and Frank says a low thank you.

“He’ll be covering our meal,” you tell the manager triumphantly, gesturing to the man, and the woman just nods. “It was lovely.”

Frank puts his arm around your waist and leads you out of the restaurant without another word. There’s clapping from a few of the surrounding tables as you depart.

“Are you okay, honey?” you ask as you step out onto the sidewalk. Frank hurries over to the truck, unlocking the door and opening it for you. He helps you into the seat, careful of your hand, your legs hanging over the edge as he steps between them and reaches for your wrist. Your knuckles are a little red, but nothing seems broken. It’ll be sore for a few days, he knows, but he can’t help but lower his head, pressing his lips ever so softly to your fingers before covering your hand with the wrapped ice again.

“You really just punched that guy’s lights out,” Frank says, and there’s almost a laugh in his tone. “That was fucking incredible.”

Your brow pulls down. “Nobody talks about you like that, not around me,” you say. “And that guy was so fucking rude! Who did he think he was, swaggering over like that and calling you a criminal?” You reach up with your good hand, take his chin in your hand, and your nails bite into his cheeks just a little. “You’re not a criminal, Frank Castle.”

He knows that. He knows that, when he looks at you. When he looks at you, he sees everything he can be, not everything he once was. He sees a future, bright and shiny like stars in the sky. He sees all the love and life that was ripped from him so terribly, but made new again, a celebration of what he had.

He’s been in love with you for a long time, and he knows just how much you love him. But that? Seeing you stand up for him without missing a beat? Standing up for what the two of you have, regardless of what might come after? Being his own personal superhero?

Well, fuck, that just seals the deal.

He’s glad you punch with your right hand, because it makes it all the easier for him to reach into his pocket, to pull out the diamond ring he bought not two weeks after he met you. When you know, you know, and Frank’s known for a long time.

Your jaw drops when he holds up the ring, silver glinting between his fingers. He watches the tears make your eyes go sparkly, even more so than the diamond as he takes your left hand, slides the ring onto your finger, and says, “Marry me, sweet girl.”

You nod, all but screaming yes! and throwing your arms around his neck, ice flying across the sidewalk, crushing him to you and kissing him so hard he can taste the tequila on your tongue. You’re both smiling and beaming and Frank feels…good. Not okay, not regular. But good. Amazing, even.

And maybe it’s unceremonious, stood at his truck on the curb outside of a restaurant you just caused a scene in, but Frank doesn’t care. It’s you, and you’re his, so it’s perfect.

—————

frank taglist: @saintmurd0ck @moonlarking @mindidjarin @freshabogados @steadyasthe-flowers @whosfrankie @ancientbeing10 @currentobsessionrabbithole @grounderprincesslookspissed

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[rosemaryandarsenic]

The Graduate

Gareth x fem!reader [abt 3k] A one shot, I might add more later? Best friends to lovers, summer, childhood, pining, crushes, a kiss. Reader and Gareth are both 18 in this, and Hawkins is “normal”, at least for them at this point. It’s graduation day, and there's a party to be had. 

Warnings: Slight spicy content, mentions of smut, implied smut. Substance abuse. Minors DNI, 18+. Tried to keep reader looks general, but she’s plus sized :)

Inspired by Every Breath You Take by The Police (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs)

Gareth sat at one of the picnic tables outside of Hawkins High, still clothed in his graduation cap and gown, cigarette in hand. The ceremony had ended hours ago, but he wanted to sit outside one last time. Its not like he would miss the place, but it felt like not saying goodbye was wrong somehow. So he sat, openly smoking a cigarette and chuckling to himself as he reminisced. 

“Hey you.” Y/N said, wandering up to him with a smile. 

She stole his cigarette from his hands, taking a drag.

“Hey yourself.” He chuckled, swiping the cigarette back playfully. 

“Whatchya doin’?” She asked, hopping up on the table next to him.

He shrugged. 

They sat together smoking for a bit, silently.

“You going to the party later?” Y/N broke the silence. 

There was a graduation blast at Mark Cooks house that night, the whole school had been invited, including the “freaks”. 

“Free booze, who can say no to that.” Gareth said, “Eddie’s picking me up at like, 7?” 

Y/N nodded.

“You wanna come over first?” He elbowed her gently. 

“Yeah,” she elbowed him back, “I’m just gonna wear that I have on. I don’t feel like going back home and dealing with my dad today.”

He shook his head, mockingly making a serious face. “You gotta change, no one will talk to you if you’re looking like that.”

Feigning indignation, Y/N threw her hand over her chest. “What? You’re telling me this now?”

“I was going to tell you this morning but I didn’t think you brought anything to change into, y’know?” He gestured to her outfit, a pretty blue sundress. “Gonna give Munson a nosebleed.”

She laughed loudly, turning pink. “Anyone could wear literal garbage bags and Munson would still be foaming at the mouth.” 

“Anyone?” Gareth raised his eyebrows. 

“Shut up.” She groaned, throwing him the bird.

He grinned, and flipped her off in return.

“Now I wanna change,” she mumbled, fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

He groaned internally, regretting saying anything. As much as he was right about Eddie’s horniness, he also secretly didn’t want her to change. The way her skirt was flipping in the wind was…distracting. If it wasn’t y/n, Gareth would be staring too.

“Nah, its fine. Promise.” He poked her knee, trying to lighten the mood.

She groaned and shifted, standing. “Fiiinee.”

Gareth hopped up, standing next to her before offering her his arm. “Lets get out of this shit hole before they decide we gotta stay another year.”

She laughed, taking his arm and skipping towards his car. “Please.”

…

They sat outside, waiting as Eddie’s van rumbled towards Gareth’s house. You could hear it a mile away, screeching, with Iron Maiden blaring from the open windows. He rolled up, pushing the passenger door open from the passenger side. 

“Your chariot, Gareth the Great.” He yelled, glancing at Gareth before catching sight of Y/N. “M’lady.” He nodded, a little flush covering his cheeks. 

Gareth hopped in, shoving aside the little pit of jealousy in his stomach. It’s just Eddie, he does this with everyone. 

“Hey Eds!” Y/N said, pulling open the back door and climbing in, carefully situating herself in the back among the pillows and beer cans.

“Jesus, did you rob a liquor store on the way here?” She asked, waving at the bottles and packs of beer piled in the back. 

“I’m 21 now, so I thought I’d pull a few favors.” Eddie laughed.

“A few.” Y/n rolled her eyes. 

The drive to Mark’s house was short, thankfully, with Eddie’s driving. Y/N was used to it, but she clung to the door none the less, sliding around as he whipped around corners. 

“Watch the goods,” Gareth mumbled, getting a raised eyebrow from Eddie before he glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Y/N tumbling around. 

“Sorry y/n.” He said, sheepishly, slowing down a little. 

They pulled into the gated community, and parked behind the crowd of cars parked in the long ass driveway leading the Cooks house. It was practically a mansion, with people sprawled in the lawn and on the porch, drinks in hand and music blaring. 

Y/N spotted some of the girls from band, and waved happily as Robin’s gangly arms reached above the crowd, waving back. 

“I’ll be back!” She said as she ran, jumping into robins hug and squealing as the group erupted in choruses of “CONGRATULATIONS!!”. 

Eddie stood next to Gareth, watching Y/N run, and looking away hurriedly as her skirt rode up, exposing the dimples on the back of her thighs. Gareth didn’t turn away, eyes lingering a second longer at the exposed flesh and the way her legs rubbed together. The dress situation may be worse than I thought, he wandered to himself, as he tried not to stare at the pudge of her stomach and the way it curved into the slope of her hips. 

“Stare any longer and I’m getting a bucket of cold water.” Eddie chuckled, ripping him out of his trance. 

“Fuck.” Gareth muttered under his breath, giving Eddie the side eye. 

“S��fine,” he said, “She didn’t notice.”

Gareth grunted, turning back towards the van. “You need help carrying any of this shit?”

Eddie’s attention easily shifted to unloading the van, and he handed Gareth several cases of beer to carry inside. Gareth made his way to the kitchen, where the party was starting to pick up as dusk fell. Mark was hovering there, red cup in hand, yelling as he jumped from group to group, already drunk.

‘HEY MAN” he hollered, grabbing Gareth’s shoulders as he set down the beer. “Grab a drink! Welcome! Is Y/N here with you?” He prodded.

Gareth tensed up, avoiding the question. “Thanks, she’s somewhere around.” He said, as he spotted her across the room, now hovering by Robin on the sofa. She was talking to Steve Harrington, animatedly waving her hands, eyes wide. Gareth grabbed a cup and quickly poured some red punch in, it smelled like acetone but he chugged it anyway. Watching her interact with other guys shouldnt bother him. We’re just friends, he chided himself. They have been since elementary school. He still remembered the day they met, the way she’d been hunched in the corner of the cafeteria with a book. Encyclopedia Brown, he’d mocked, as she looked up at him with a scowl. “If you’re too stupid to read books that are actually interesting, just say so.” She’d stated. He’d read the whole series that summer and they’d been friends ever since. 

“Slow down there!” He came back to reality, as he heard a voice behind him. Eddie was behind him, looking slightly concerned as he’d watched Gareth angrily chug three cups full of punch. 

“It’s not even nine yet, man.” Eddie laughed, bumping Gareth over as he reached over the punch bowl to hand someone a beer. Gareth nodded, feeling the effects hit him already. 

The night rolled on, as everyone celebrated, games of beer pong lifting the mood as Madonna blared over the speakers. Y/n had gravitated to Eddie’s side by the pool, smoking a blunt as she watched the groups around her. Eddie was simultaneously dealing and smoking, his eyes sparkling as he weighed out a variety of drugs and pocketed cash.

She laid on his shoulder, head feeling hazy. 

“You good?” He stopped, tapping her head as she sat there. She nodded. 

“Too high for people.” She mumbled, and he laughed, letting her sit there. 

“You want me to take a break? We can go dance.” He said.

She perked up. “Yes!” She jumped up to quick and stumbled.

“Whoa there,” Steve said a few feet away, reaching out for her arm.

“I got it, s’fine.” She giggled, and Steve rolled his eyes. 

Grabbing her hand, Eddie led her inside where the music was loudest. Gareth sat on the carpet, back against the wall, nursing his own cup and watching as the room swirled. 

“Gare bear!” Y/N hollered, seeing him and running over on wobbly legs. “Dance with us!” She twirled, reaching for Gareth and pulling Eddie with her other hand. 

Gareth groaned, standing, and made his way toward the two as Y/N twirled more, her high making the music feel like it was coursing through her veins. 

Eventually, Eddie grew bored, and nudged Gareth. “Watch this one,” he whispered in his ear, “I’m gonna go get some waters.” Gareth nodded, leaning back agains the wall as he watched y/n. Her hair had fallen loose along her back, free from the braid it had been in all day. There was a soft flush along her cheeks, eyes glassy and lips pink and parted softly as she smiled. Her body swayed to the music, skirt brushing around her thick thighs, neckline shifted down, exposing her chest just a little. Metal started to blare, and she yelled excitedly, dancing harder. Gareth felt his heart pound as she leaned back, singing along, carefree and passionate. He felt his cheeks grow hot at the sight of her tracing her hands down her body, eyes shut, blissful. Maybe he’s the one who’d get the nose bleed this time. The song ended, and she finally seemed to tire, slowing as she turned to him and sidled over. 

“Hi.” She said breathlessly, leaning on him and panting a little from the movement. 

“Hi.” He said, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around her waist and nuzzle his face into her neck. He could smell her perfume, and the traces of cigarettes and weed. She was so close to him, it would be so easy. 

She sighed and he straightened his back, “maybe its time we take a break.” He laughed. 

Y/N nodded, smiling. “ITS SO LOUD IN HERE.” She said, grabbing onto his arm.

He nodded, gesturing his hand towards the pool outside. She shook her head. 

“I know a better place.” She whisper shouted into his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. Maybe it was the weed and the booze, but he could’ve sworn he heard a change in her tone.

“Lead the way.” He said back, grabbing her hand.

She pulled them both through the crowd, leading him further into the house and towards the stairs that led to the top floor of the house. A small sign lay crumpled on the stairs - NO GOING UPSTAIRS, it said. Clearly it was ineffective he thought as they clambered up.

“Y/N, what are you-“ Gareth started to say as she cut him off with a finger to his lips. 

“Shhhhh.” She mumbled, dragging him down the hall towards one of the back rooms. 

He felt his palms get sweaty. Everyone knew what the upstairs is for at this sort of event. Its not exactly a secret that couples would sneak upstairs for some….alone time. His stomach fluttered, and he shoved it down. This was his best friend, she couldn’t possibly be… could she?

“Give me a hand.” She whispered, as she pulled him into what he recognized as the bathroom and shut the door. “Open the window.”

He obeyed, trying to cover the way his fingers were trembling a little. She looked so pretty and flushed, and his mind wanted to go to some places it should not go. Not while she was so close, in that dress. He winced as the window creaked, sliding open. 

Y/N perched herself on the window sill and slung one leg over, looking back at him. 

“Right behind you.” He whispered, trying not to heave as she swung her other leg over, revealing a pair of white lace panties underneath. She disappeared through the window and he followed her, surprised to see how flat the roof was on this section of the house. She walked a few feet over, and plopped down, pulling her hair from her face and patting the roofing next to her. Gareth sat beside her, inhaling the clear night air as he looked around him at the view. It was actually breathtaking, the lights from the party sparkling below and the lake in the distance. 

“How the hell do you know about this?” He asked, turning to her. 

She blushed a little, smiling. “Eddie and I used to hide up here from the cops.” She chuckled. 

Of course, it was Eddie. Gareth sighed a little, thinking enviously of them up here alone. He never went to parties, didn’t like them, but the rest of the gang had their fair share of long nights. For Eddie it was the dealing, for Y/N it was band. She even hung out with the cheer squad sometimes. Highschool was not as isolating for her, and he was both mad about it and happy for her at the same time. 

“What?” She poked him, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her sock. 

He shrugged, trying to find words as he watched her reach into her bra for a lighter. God damnnit. 

“Uh.” he mumbled, accepting a cigarette from her as she waited for him to reply. 

“I don’t know,” he managed, “I think maybe I drank too much punch.” 

She looked concerned, then grabbed his free hand. “I’m sorry.” She whispered as she played with his fingers. 

Finding it hard to focus, Gareths reply came slow. “S’not your fault sweetheart.” 

She grinned at the pet name. He’d seen how she reacted to it once and had mockingly used it ever since. 

She brushed her finger over his knuckles. “Can I tell you a secret?’ She said, and he nodded. 

“Mark puts like four bottles of everclear in that punch.” She laughed, and he groaned. 

“Thanks for the warning.” He laughed.

“I said I was sorry.” She giggled. 

She was staring at their entwined hands, quiet, when they both heard a thump from the open bathroom window.

“Shit.” She whispered, scooting back so no one would see them.

They waited for someone to come out the window, but no one came. Suddenly a moan echoed loudly from the window, and Gareth looked over at Y/N, eyes wide. 

She was trying to stifle a laugh as they heard another moan and a grunt. 

“Steve!” The voice said, giggling, and Y/N let out a quiet snort, unable to contain the giggles. 

“Oh shit,” they heard Steves voice, “the windows open.” Steve looked out, confused as he looked side to side, unable to see them at the angle they sat. 

“Must’ve been the wind.” He muttered, and they heard the window shut. 

Y/N let out another giggle, less quiet this time and they both dissolved in laughter. 

“Fucking Steve.” Y/N whispered, “he’s such a man whore.” 

“I don’t blame him.” Gareth whispered back, chuckling.

“Jealous?” Y/N quipped back, taking a drag from her cigarette. 

“You’re telling me if you could you would just put out all the time?” Gareth asked, leaning back.

“If I could.” Y/N giggled again. “Ill have you know I have no trouble in that department, thank you very much.”

“I didn’t mean-“ Gareth stuttered, turning pink.

“I know what you meant.” She smiled. “Its just…uh. Different for men?” She paused. 

“When I do it, people say things.”

“Things?” Gareth sat up, suddenly angry. 

“Calm your tits.” She laughed, “People are just mean. Can’t have sex without being a slut, cant be a virgin without being a prude. You know how it goes.” She sighed. 

“You’re not a slut.” Gareth whispered.

She looked over at him, their arms touching again. “I know, but thank you.” She whispered. 

“I’m also not exactly a prude,” she continued, leaning into him. “It is what it is.”

He wanted to desperately in that moment to make her feel better. There was an ache in him, reaching out. He’d had a girlfriend freshman year, talked to one or two people, but he’d never been this close with another girl before and it felt sacred. There was also something else there, something he ignored, a closeness with her that he knew was different. Sometimes it felt like lust, but mostly it felt like passion. He felt the same thing when he played his drums, all warm and buzzing, like every cell in his body was radiating with electricity. 

“Earth to Gareth.” Y/N said, reaching over to poke his nose. 

“Im here,” he laughed, “sorry.”

“Whatchya thinking?” She asked. 

He hesitated. “Just that..youre a very special person.” He blushed. 

“Special?” She whispered.

“Very.” He said. The booze was wearing off but he still felt the boldness. “To me.” He added. 

He could hear Y/N’s breath catch at the words, and felt his cheeks burn immediately. 

“I..shit, im-“ he started, regretting the awkward tension between them now, wishing he could take it back. 

She put a finger to his lips, shushing him. “Shut up for a second.” She said, looking at him intently. 

“Are you drunk?” She asked carefully. 

“No, tipsy?” He said, wondering if he should be blaming this on the alcohol. 

She nodded. “Im going to say something and I’d like you to know that Im high but like, just a little bit not a lot.” She rambled. 

He nodded, his heart pounding again.

“I…I think…I KNOW,” she paused, “that you are a very important person to me too.”

Gareth felt like the weight of the world was lifting off his shoulders, like he might float off the roof. 

“Very special?” He whispered, leaning in.

“Very.” She replied, still staring at him. He saw her gaze shift from his eyes to his lips for a split second and cracked. In one swift gesture he bridged the gap between them, smashing his lips onto hers and pulling her towards him. She leaned into it, kissing him with so much fervor he fell onto his back, pulling her on top of him. A soft moan came out of Y/N, her lips leaving his and making their way across his face, down his jaw and towards his neck. 

“Gareth…” she whined, leaving wet kisses down his neck before locking onto his lips again. 

He was gone, practically drunk on the taste of her and the feeling of her pressed against him. He never thought shed like him back, not Y/N, the perfect girl next door with the softest body and kindest eyes. Neither of them was taking care to be quiet as Y/N shrugged the flannel off his shoulders, pawing at his shirt, and moaning in his mouth like she was dying to be as close to him as possible. She was swallowing his own sounds of pleasure as he pulled away, gasping for air. They lay there for a minute, catching their breath as Gareth traced his hand up the back of her thigh. His fingers didn’t stop at the hem of her skirt, instead pushing it up slightly to feel the roundness of her butt, the hem of those lace panties making him groan softly. 

“You don’t have to stop.” She whispered, brushing her nose against him, adjusting herself into a straddle position over his lap. 

He kissed her softly this time, hand tracing the outline of her underwear up her thigh. She shuddered at the touch, cheeks blooming with red under the moonlight. 

Stopping for a moment, he reached up and cupped her face.

“Be my girlfriend, Y/N?” He begged, quietly.

She hummed, nodding, her reply a clear yes and she leaned in to kiss him again. 

“Finally.” She whispered. 

[37q]

so yall know i gotta lor sis righ. well. fuck dude. those obligations from earlier. part rant part support seeking skip to the very end for that second part

context. 17 y/o not in school, homeless, lowkey estranged from her parents. father is unemployed and lying abt it, abusive and his ego is constantly reacting to his material precaritys impact on his manhood, sits at my old shop all day doing nothing. mom, actually employed, covering for dad, also used to work at my old shop before being fired for stealing a stack of cash, getting worse w her precarity and also sits at the shop a lot a lot. no idea where her lor bro sleeps. no idea how old he is too, could be 12 in an 8 year olds body for all i kno

so i pick her up at 1030, we go to the mall and check the ubreakifix type place and they dont work on iphone 8s. bet. we have a spare XR she bought off her big bro. missing sim tray, got a free replacement from the shop. go to the apple store, the XR is permalocked unless factory reset from the icloud acct tethered to the device (truly dystopian imo), schedule genius bar appt for tmrw at 11. take her back to her friends house, the one i hired a month before i left so she could have a comrade and a place to stay nearish work that isnt her moms (although they were kicked out of their motel right when i hired steven i think. so, unhappy coincidence?).

sis works then so i drop her off at work at 9 and take her phone w me. go home come back to the mall. genius at the bar says its busted, whatever. not like i been sayin that. its missing like the bottom 1/5 of the backing like straight up exposed circuitry and she leans it on its bottom edge on whatever flat surface she can find at her perpetually wet food service job. refurbished options more expensive than the cheap 'new' products, not saying much tho. deliver busted phone and info to her -- her mom and dad are there ofc -- go home. later pick her up that night (last night) and drive her to her gfs in the heights. oh also dropping steven and their mutual friend off at stevens on the way. whatever its like literally en route its actually kinda perfect every time.

apparently im picking her up this morning. Okay. oh yeah shes locked out of her paycard account. she locks the card when shes at 0 in case she gets an auto withdrawal thatll overdraft her. she got paid today so she was gonna unlock it but how did she access her acct previously? thumbprint. no password memory whatsoever. pretty fair, id say? she texted me asking for the last 4 of her SSN this morning. nobody picked up her call to the bank(?) until she called them in the car with me. the form required to change login credentials when u dont have account access required those digits and a form of photo id. no ability to access it from her ADP because the pw changed at some point but it still took her print.

reminder. shes homeless and out of school. she has a birth certificate but thats where my certainty of her documentation ends. ive run into this before where i wanted to start a real bank acct for her but they require legally viable photo id and even non driver state ids require 1. proof of permanent residence (X) and 2. proof of enrollment in school for minors (X) at the MVA.

so anyways weve kinda hit a wall with the limitations her unsupportive parents / guardians have provided! its taking up a large portion of my emotional, mental, physical, and temporal space in life right now so i wanted to make a post about it. my little bandaid desire is to at least set her up with a new phone which i estimate would be $200 minimum for actual 'verified third party vendors of used phones' but ugh i didnt budget for this.

oh the support seeking! if you know me and wanna ease the load on my sisters shoulders a but, id be grateful for some help raising funds for a new phone! ill include some $ links. if were unacquainted but youre reading this anyway and have a spare $5 wed love the support! thanks for reading :)

cashapp: $rmwperfect | venmo: @rmwperfect | paypal: @37q

[txdoroki]

welcome home

i used a prompt by my lovely mutual @missmorosis <3: “You know, you’re allowed to be mad at me.”

pairing: shoto todoroki x reader :)

genre: fluffiest shit ever

desc: todoroki just got home from a week long business trip, and he feels more than guilty about leaving you back at home alone.

gn reader | warnings: you might get a tooth ache it’s so sweet | words: 1,114

a/n: this is not the angst i was talking abt, imma write that soon. so for now,, enjoy some todo fluff my loves <3

you smiled as you shoved another spoonful of cereal into your mouth. you had been looking forward to this morning the entire week, and you felt like you were about to explode from how excited you were.

you were sitting on the edge of your dining chair, shifting your weight between your feet as you tried to hurry and eat your breakfast.

all of last night you could barely sleep, the mixture of missing your husband’s warmth beside you and the excitement for today causing you to toss and turn.

although that had barely put a damper on your mood, your focus less on the sleepiness that dragged down your eyes and more on the fact that shoto was finally coming home today after being gone for a whole week. even though a week didn’t sound like a long time, he was nearly never gone from home for more than two days at once.

especially since he’d been so busy the past week that he couldn’t call or even respond to half your text messages until late when you’d be asleep.

to put things short .. you missed him. a lot. it was like a breath of fresh air knowing today was the day you could be in his embrace again after so long. the hoodies he left that smelled of his cologne were barely a temporary satisfaction for you, and you ached to be in his arms.

you only took a few more minutes to finish your cereal, and afterwards you struggled not to speed as you drove to the airport.

you anxiously sat on one of the benches nearby the gate your beloved’s flight was going to be coming in at, your leg bouncing as you scrolled through your phone to try and pass time that seemed to be going by as slow as humanly possible.

“whatcha doin’ there, love,” you smiled as you looked up at the sound of your lover’s voice from a few yards away. there he stood, his bicolored hair slightly getting in his eyes as he softly smiled at you. you put your phone in the pocket of his sweatshirt that you were wearing, and ran towards his open arms.

the embrace you shared with him made your heart nearly soar out of your body, and you didn’t want to leave it for a long time. one of his hands ran up and down your back, his hold on you ever so tight as if he was worried you would evaporate into thin air. his hands that roamed over your body seemed to leave trails of goosebumps on your skin.

you felt so giddy. like a kid in a candy store, getting to choose whichever candies they think would be the tastiest.

“i missed you so much,” you whispered and pressed the side of your face against his chest, your cheeks heating up ever so slightly when you smelled the cologne you adored on his body.

“me too, ’m sorry i was gone for so long,”

“it’s okay, just don’t do it again,” you giggled and cupped his face with one of your hands, moving to stare into his eyes, “it was terrible, i was so touch starved!”

he chuckled, “no worries, i’ll fix that soon enough, now, let me go so we can go home,”

you sighed and nodded, reluctantly loosening your grip around his waist. he noticed the faint pout that was on your lips, and silently held his hand out. you, of course, happily took it.

you led him out of the airport and to your car with the most eagerness he’d seen from you in a while. your grip on his hand was tight, and you appreciated how inviting it felt.

the car ride home was filled to the brim with you both sharing stories from the past week .. and kisses during each and every red light you were stopped at. you both held hands for the entire drive, only letting go when he had to drag his suitcase inside of your home.

you both spent the day making up for lost time, and you seemed to have been in his grasp, or at least near him, the entire day.

you cooked dinner with his arms around your waist, although once or twice, you half-heartedly complained about how he was going to get elbowed sooner or later.

it had taken twenty minutes of you insisting that he should let you make dinner for him that night as a welcome home gift, he usually made dinner, so it caught him off guard.

you both were practically attached at the hip for the rest of the night, enjoying dinner on the couch while todoroki’s arm was around your shoulder.

after dinner, you were pressed against his side as you watched the movie you agreed on with an abnormal amount of focus.

after a little bit of you laying against him, you made an attempt at pushing him onto his back.

he paused the movie and turned towards you, “you okay, honey?”

“yeah! just wanted to cuddle,”

“but we’re already cuddling, what do you mean,”

“i wanna lay on your chest, please,”

he raised an eyebrow, nodding after seeming to be lost in thought for a moment or two.

you smiled when he laid down, happily flopping ontop of him as he started the movie back up again.

you started focusing on the movie once more, and right when it was about to get good, he paused it.

“are you upset?”

you shook your head, “no, why would i be?”

“i mean .. i was gone a while and wasn’t being the most responsive, you know, you’re allowed to be mad at me, right?”

“of course i know that, but you were gone on a business trip. why would i be mad about that? i’m just happy you’re home right now in the first place!” you smiled at him, trying to hold back a giggle at the light blush that was littered across his cheeks.

you both still had the capabilities to make each other’s cheeks heat up like crazy, even after being together so many years.

“i love you, y/n,” he rested one of his hands on your head, all of it but his thumb staying still. the light pressure of his thumb running small circles made goosebumps cover you from head to toe, and you giggled.

“i love you too, babe, welcome home,” you smiled at him for a moment before reaching for the remote and resuming the movie, enjoying the feeling of your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around you.

your favorite way to spend time was being with the love of your life.

taglist: @frxggie @todoroki-shoto-is-life

[dancingazaleas]

ymir & historia reiss | addition

i literally never stfu abt them so why not write abt them

THIS IS A POLY ONESHOT!!! i love them but it’s hard to imagine them with someone else (romantically) so why not both! this post is so long and kind of cringy i’m so sorry besties 😞

warnings/notes: cursing, angst to comfort/fluff, modern au!, college au!, reader, historia, and ymir are 19-20.

you groan and slam your head against your desk, ymir just laughs at you, sitting to your right. the two of you were in your geography class and you felt like your brain was melting.

“it really isn’t that hard,” ymir nudges your ribs with her elbow.

“easy for you to say. you’ve been around the world, i’ve barely left trost,” ymir rolls her eyes as you whine into your arms, “you’re also literally majoring in paleontology. you’ve been into it since you were a kid, like a nerd.”

“i might just punch you for that,” she threatens, “historia was pretty good in geography back in highschool. maybe she can tutor you?”

when ymir said historia’s name, it felt as if you were getting whiplash from how you felt giddy and then felt slightly bitter.

historia has been your best friend ever since the two of you were 17 and met at a bed, bath, and beyond store. she goes to community college, her dad forbade her from university and she only agreed if it she could go. when you gushed about the university you’re currently going to, she immediately started listening and asking what classes you were in.

that’s how she found out you have geography with her girlfriend, and your other best friend, ymir. she started squealing and decided to introduce the two of you.

you both tried to intimidate one another when you first met a year ago, but once historia said something about farting from anxiousness you both bursted into laughter.

that’s how you integrated into their lives. you hang out with the both of them almost everyday, you talk to them everyday, you eat lunch together every thursday, and you three even go see new movies together on saturdays.

within the first four months of befriending the both of them, you felt like as if you were ruining the their alone time. multiple times you had come to hang out with ymir and/or historia only to find out that they were having a date night. even if they invited you to join after, you still felt guilty.

you also felt guilty for feeling jealous and sad whenever they both would show affection for each other. you didn’t know what you were/are jealous of and you don’t know what would make you sad about them being happy.

but you realized what exactly was making you feel that way when ymir and historia started pestering you about your love life. specifically, about a girl named hitch that they think you’d like. and ymir asked you if you’d ever even been in love before. after a few minutes of contemplating, you told her yes.

you love them both. you wanted to be with the both of them.

but you never could be. they don’t love you in the same way as each other. they don’t want to kiss you, hold you, and sleep with you.

and you know that.

“hey doofus, class ended. you comin’?,” ymir’s voice shook you out of your trance.

you look at her and nod, shoveling your stuff into the tote bag you use as your backpack. the two of you are going to meet historia for lunch, you both don’t have classes after 12. thank god.

it’s raining when you two step outside and ymir’s rambling about what restaurant the three of you should go to for lunch as you both walk to her car. you tell her you’re okay with anything as the two of you get in the car, which makes her whip her head towards you and pause after you’ve closed the doors.

“alright, what’s wrong with you,” she asks abruptly.

“what? why are you asking?”

“you’ve been so spacey and quiet lately, you’re hooking up with people, and now you’re okay with eating whatever? you’re a little picky about your food. and you usually never shut up. something is up,” she’s started the car and is no driving out of the parking lot.

“it’s just classes and work. i’m fine. i don’t wanna talk about it,” you shrug and look out the window. you don’t want to look at ymir.

“you’re lying,” she scoffs and shakes her head, “liar.”

you just ignore her and keep staring outside the window.

the rest of the car ride is silent excluding the tame impala song ymir’s playing on the radio. you almost jump for joy whenever the restaurant that historia and ymir must’ve decided on is in view. historia’s standing is sitting on a bench outside of the restaurant, holding an umbrella over her head and a smile shows up on her face when she sees the two of you pulling up. she’s stands up and waits for ymir to park and for you both to get out of the car. it makes your heart flutter a bit. she’s gorgeous.

you almost lunge out of the car whenever the door’s are unlocked, catching the attention from them both. you start fast walking towards the doors of the restaurant, but historia is blocking your path with her arms out wide to give you a hug.

you don’t want to hug her. you don’t want to burst into tears from the hug alone. she’s closing in on you, but you manage to swerve to the left and successfully dodge the hug. you scurry into the restaurant before she can get another chance to hug you. historia and ymir give each other a look of confusion and sadness.

after they exchange a peck on the lips, they follow you into the restaurant. when they get inside, they’re met with the view of you chatting excitedly and bashfully with the hostess, who’s name tag says nifa.

when nifa starts leading you to your table, you spare them a look that says to follow you. while nifa’s leading everyone, you’re both still laughing and blushing. historia and ymir give look at one another, feeling somewhat bitter at seeing this. you hadn’t even said anything to historia and you’ve barely talked to ymir all day.

the couple almost cry out a thank you whenever you’re all seated and nifa leaves.

you start looking at your menu aimlessly. you’ve been here before and you know what you want. but anything to avoid eye contact with ymir and historia, and it makes them sad.

“(name), did you know the hostess? seemed like you two were good friends,” you look up from the menu to see historia leaning towards you while smiling.

“no, i don’t know her. she said i looked familiar and we started talking about if we go to the same university. only to find out that i have a class with her,” you look embarrassed as you start to stare out of the window.

ymir hums in response and the waiter makes his appearance before historia can ask something else. you all decide to order your food at the same time of your drinks—it speeds up the process. when the waiter leaves, the table falls into an uncomfortable silence.

a couple minutes later, you’re scrolling through social media and taking a sip of your drink that was brought to you. you’re debating if you should text the groupchat you’re in with eren, mikasa, and armin. but before you can even make the decision, ymir and historia clap quietly, a signal that the food is here.

even when you’re all eating, the silence is unbearable. you feel like banging your head against a window. you opt to stare outside of it instead.

for some reason, this sets ymir off and she drops her silverware against the plate, the noise startling you and historia.

“alright,” she’s still chewing, “what the fuck is up with you? something’s obviously wrong, and you won’t tell us for whatever fucking reason. you’ve been so distant towards historia and i lately, you’re not even talking to us that much in person, you reject historia’s hug, and you seem so spacey lately!! you’ve also been rejecting our invites to hanging out when it isn’t thursday or saturday. you can’t just act like this and then expect us to not fucking notice the obvious changes. so what the fuck is wrong?”

you struggle to reply, “i’ve just been... stressed with school work and stuff. i’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind. how have i been distant?”

ymir slams her hand onto the table, and that’s when you realize that she’s actually pissed off. she’s pointing her finger at you as she starts raising her voice, attracting attention from other customers.

“you told me that you don’t have much work unless finals or what the fuck ever is coming up and finals end two fucking months ago! you fucking avoided hugging historia, and you’ve known her for years. but you’re so happy to chat with the fucking hostess, who met today. you’re acting like you don’t want to be our friend anymore, and if that’s the case then fucking tell us up front. it’ll save us some pain,” she spits and historia’s slapping her bicep and trying to get her to stop.

your throat feels clogged as your eyes start to tear up. you look petrified.

after a few seconds of you staring absentmindedly, you’re crying. fat tears rolling down your face and dripping onto the table as you bite on your bottom lip to avoid sobbing. you’re eyebrows are drawn upwards and you can’t stop sniffling.

you don’t want to lose them, but you don’t want to tell them. ‘this sucks,’ you think.

both historia and ymir are taken aback at your tears and feel the guilt crawling up their shoulders. you’re not easy to push to tears, it’s how you’re able to be around ymir. whatever’s upsetting you, it must be really stressful.

“(name),” historia speaks softly and puts her hand over your’s, “i’m sorry ymir made you cry. we’re just worried about you, but that doesn’t excuse the way ymir reacted. do you want to talk about it?”

you let out a broken sob as your shoulder shake, “take me home. take me home please.”

“wh—ow!!” ymir is slapped hard by historia.

“are you sure that’s what you want? you know you can tell us anything, right?”

you nod and let out a hiccup. historia frowns but chooses not to say anything and starts digging in her purse for her wallet. she pulls out a fifty and puts it onto the table, pushing ymir gently to get her outside of the booth. you’re getting out of the booth, scrubbing your wet eyes and trying to hide from nifa.

“i’m gonna drive you back to your apartment, okay? ymir, can you get their stuff out of your car,” she gently holds onto your arm while ymir begrudgingly obeys.

you get in the passenger seat of her car, covering your face as you start crying harder. historia’s standing at the front of her car, talking about something with ymir. whatever it is, it’s upsetting the both of them and you can’t help but feel like they’re arguing about you.

they seem to come to a conclusion, seeing as historia gives ymir a kiss on her lips. she’s getting in the driver’s seat, handing over your bag full of textbooks and laptop.

when historia starts the car, her car starts playing a tennis song that makes you smile. she switches it to soft lofi music to help you feel just a bit calmer.

the drive is mostly quiet besides your sobbing and crying. historia’s holding one of your hands in silent support.

she feels guilty and confused. had ymir really upset you that bad? what are you so upset about? is it because of us?

historia loves you dearly; both as a cherished friend and as a lover. it was the same for ymir, but historia had told her that you might defriend them if they confessed. they don’t even know your thoughts on polyamory.

they’d rather keep your friendship then possibly ruining it.

before historia can say a goodbye, you’re slamming the car door and jogging up towards your apartment.

‘this sucks,’ you think again and a loud sob rocks through your body. you’re unlocking the door with shaky hands. you go to swing the door open only for it to bounce back right into your face because the fucking deadlock is on.

you fall onto your ass, fumbling to get onto your feet. out of all the times mikasa, your roommate, wants to have her girlfriend, annie, over, why does it have to be now. you sob as you bang your fist against the front door, yelling for mikasa to let you inside. you’re probably going to get a noise complaint, but you don’t really care.

when there’s no sign of either or mikasa or annie coming to the door, you realize that they must be knocked out. both of them are heavy sleepers and mikasa’s room is furthest from the door, there’s no chance they’re going to wake up.

you slam the door shut and the urge to puke is strong. you’re going to have to go over to historia and ymir’s place. you start crying even harder, starting to tug onto some of the strands of your hair. you sit on the ground against the wall, knees pressed to your chest as your hands cover your eyes again.

this whole day has been shit, starting when you hung out with ymir and historia before your geography class. they were so affectionate with on another and all you could do is watch in want.

you hear the clacking of heels getting closer and you assume it’s historia.

“(name),” it’s historia, “c’mon. i’ll take you back to my house.”

you sniffle and silently get back up onto your feet. your jeans are damp from the rain and the feeling of it sticking to your legs has you cringing. scratch that—your whole body was damp from the rain.

you’ll take a hot shower later, when mikasa isn’t dead asleep along with her girlfriend.

you find out you’re wrong about your previous statement and in 15 minutes, you find yourself undressing in ymir and historia’s bathroom. they told you to get in the shower, shoving a big shirt and underwear you’ve left over at their house into your arms. you know that they’re clean, ymir is forced to do laundry every sunday.

you stand under the shower faucet, silently enjoying the piping hot water falling against your skin. you’re done in a matter of ten minutes, toweling your hair and then brushing it. you gather your wet clothes after you unlock the bathroom door and push it open.

steam rolls out of the room when the door opens and some of it trails behind you as you walk to find ymir. she’s sitting on the couch, munching on a KIND bar and watching the show victorious—it’s her guilty pleasure. she perks up when she sees you though, taking the clothes out of your arms and whisking away towards the washing machine.

you sit down on the couch, slouching lazily. ymir and historia flop down next to you on both sides, little huffs of air falling from their mouths. ymir’s got her arm resting on the couch cushion near your shoulders and historia’s throwing an arm around your waist and snuggling her cheek into your shoulder.

historia opens her mouth, here it comes, “what’s wrong?”

you sigh and throw your head back against ymir’s arm, who just hits her knee against your own.

“i...,” you sigh again, “i can’t tell you.”

ymir rolls her eyes as she lets out a huge huff through her nose. she’s irritated.

“why not? why can’t you tell us? we just wanna help,” her eyebrows furrow when she starts to speak and the hand that isn’t on the couch is motioning to herself and historia.

you start crying again, “you can’t help me with this. and i just can’t tell you.”

historia peeks up at you and her eyebrows are bunched up in concern and confusion.

“why can’t you tell us? please just give us an actual reason, and we’ll back off. all we want to do is help you, so just give us a way that we can. we love you so much, we don’t want to see you upset any longer,” historia’s starting to tear up too, bottom lip sticking out as evidence.

“you guys don’t love me in the same way that i love you,” you sob without thinking, and you reach up to cover your face with your hand. ymir traps it with her own, interlocking her fingers with your’s.

“did... could you repeat that,” historia hiccups, taking ahold of your other hand.

“i love you guys. but not in the same way you love me. i want to kiss you, hold you, and do all that sappy stuff couples do with you guys, but you don’t see me like that,” you look down towards your lap while historia and ymir share a look.

ymir’s lanky hands are grabbing ahold of your cheek’s, thumbs running across your cheekbones then your brow bones. she’s staring at you, a bashful blush on her freckled cheeks.

before you ask what she’s doing, she’s giving you one of the softest kisses you’ve ever had in your entire life. you’re closing your eyes and scrunching up your eyebrows, you don’t want this moment to end.

the two of you stop the kiss when you feel historia climb into your lap, sitting on your thighs. you face towards her, slightly dazed from the amazing kiss you’ve just had with ymir. you briefly wonder if this is what it feels like for historia each time.

historia kisses you too. it’s gentle and a little more persistent as if she were trying to show you that she loves you back. her fingers are tangled with your own, using it to her advantage and gently holding them to the couch cushion.

she pulls away after another second, a light pink spreading across her tear stained face. you’re still dazed, is this real? once you go over everything that’s just happened, you jump.

“oh my god, why’d you two just kiss me?!” you’re freaking out, you’ve just overstepped boundaries, right?!

ymir kisses your cheek and says it bluntly, “we love you too. we’ve wanted to make the relationship a poly for a while... we thought you’d hate us though.”

your jaw drops and you whip your head towards ymir, “HUH?”

“we love you,” historia giggles, she’s rubbing her cheek against your chest now.

“oh.. okay. are you sure?” you hum, a huge and dorky smile coming up on your face after they both nod.

“you look stupid,” ymir snorts, “now can we watch victorious and snuggle?”

“before we do that, why did you try hooking me up with hitch,” you ask with a slight scowl.

“we thought it might help us get over you, but it didn’t work for a lot of reasons. you and hitch are good as friends, but not romance; at least that’s what you told us. and if anything, it just made us jealous and sad,” historia explains, tracing patterns with her finger into your stomach.

“that makes sense, i’m ready to watch victorious,” you pause, “wait, when are you taking me home?” ymir and historia stare at you blankly.

“you’re not going home.”

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[babiekeiji]

How would Akaashi, Kenma, +any other boy you want react with their s/o being in their first lead role in a musical/play? Their reactions, if it’s a loud boy do they follow theater etiquette? Anything else you could think of would be amazing!! i’m in love with all of your writing!!

LETS GO AKAASHI NATION ;; also im so sorry this might not be so accurate i was only a theatre kid around 4th to 6th grade owiwkkcdknc

— ♥️ —

Akaashi Keiji

You’ve been telling Keiji about wanting to audition for one of the lead roles in this year’s play

Akaashi’s definitely just. Go for it, but make sure you work hard so you earn it

AND YOU DO

royalty shit yk

But flashback first : come the day of the audition you’re a lil neRvoUss yk because though there aren’t a lot of people auditioning, the people you’re up against are pretty darn talented ykyk

“You’ll do fine,” he reassures, “You’ve worked hard enough. Even if you don’t land the role you want, I’ll be supportive of you regardless”

Nd you just 🥺🥺🥺🥺

So you do whatever’s asked of you for auditioning right

Judges seem pretty bored but were amused at the end of your audition

So you leave with a smile on your face yk bcs wow ... u did that 😎

COME RESULT DAY and guess what bitch

U GOT IT

Nd ur just crying nd a mess on the floor bcs man practicing for that role was Not Easy

Akaashi’s rlly happy, even if he doesn’t show it

Comes off as a lil nonchalant at first

So you’re just ?? u know akaashi isnt exactly outward w his emotions though so you don’t think much of him not reacting so much w this big news

Akaashi’s more of an actions guy ykyk

The next day you come into school and see a lil box on your table with a note attached

I’m so proud of you.

YOU ALREADY KNOW 😭😭😭😭🤚

You open the box excitedly and see another note

You deserve these for working so hard. I can’t wait to see what else the future has in store for you.

😭😭😭😭 AKAASHI BEST BOY

Inside the small box are fun sized sweets you held off from eating just to prepare for the audition

M&Ms, snickers, twix, you name it he has that in there

You give akaashi a reeeally big hug the next time you see him

SO LOWKEY SUPPORTIVE OF YOU WHENEVER U PRACTICE

Always sneaking a bottle of water into your bag before you leave

Waits for you to finish practicing sometimes after training, so you two can walk home tgt

Helps you with your lines nd all that

Come the day of the play

You’re backstage, getting ready, doing last minute run throughs of ur script

Keiji can’t be backstage, but you alr know he’s probably somewhere in the front row

Follows theatre etiquette yk, but everyone around him can just tell he’s your boyfriend since everytime you come on stage he’s just a lot more attentive nd a lot more dreamy eyed w u

IS THE FIRST TO CLAP LOL MFMFMFMFMF

Big grins when your eyes meet before you bow

Offers you the prettiest flowers after

TAKES YOUR PICS W EVERYONE LOLDBMDMMDA

but he doesnt mind because you look so happy to be having fun

Drives you home too, talking about how good the play was and how well you performed, how different u were during practices and during he actual thing

“You were so captivating, really,” he says once he pulls into your driveway, “You did really well.”

Kisses you a few times before you leave

“I really am proud of you, you know. I love you. Get some sleep, you deserve it.”

Kozume Kenma

like akaashi, kenma isnt so outward w his emotions 😌 but he does compensate for it w his actions

When you first tell him abt how u wanted to audition, he was Concerned

“Is that really what you want?”

“Why? Don’t you believe in me?”

“I do,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. So you won’t regret it later.”

thats lowkey touching bro... bro stop im gonna fall in love with u aha ha

When you say with all conviction that yes, you want to do it, he supports u all the way

Helps u pick out your audition piece

Listens to you sing over and over and over

Watches you try to dance

Reminds you in simple ways that he does support you

“Have you practiced today?” / “Believe in yourself.”

“I believe in you.”

The day of the audition, kenma tells you that he’ll wait for u outside the auditorium

And 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Don’t you have training?”

“I told them I couldn’t come,” he says, “It’s not like I always skip training. Go on now; I’ll be right here when you come out.”

You kiss him on the cheek one last time before you head in

“I love you,” you say lovingly, “Thank you.”

“Break a leg.”

You come out ecstatic; “I did really well!!! They loved me!!!”

“That’s great. Do you want to eat some ramen on the way home?”

“Of course”

He pays this one (1) time because he wanted to treat you after all your hard work

When you find out you got the part

You cried

“What’s wrong? Are you not happy?”

“I AM ITS JUSTFJDEKEJ”

“?????? Okay”

“I GOT IT”

“I know”

“KENMA ......... KENMA ........ I GOT IT”

“I know. I’m so happy for you.”

Although he doesn’t wait up for you after every practice, he does send you encouraging texts

I hope you never doubt your talent.

You did great today, rest well.

I’ll bring you milk bread tomorrow morning.

Makes an effort to call you before you sleep,

I love you, he’ll say, Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.

No cap this boy is the sweetest closet romantic ever

Is somehow miraculously allowed backstage

“Hey,” he calls. “You look beautiful.”

You turn around and it’s HIM bro its him, and he’s actually smiling with stars in his eyes and looking at you like youre the only person in the room.

“You’ll do so well,” he says as he takes you in for a hug, “I can’t wait to see you.”

Looks around for a while, and when he sees that no one is rlly looking, cups your face with both of his hands and brings you in for a kiss.

“I love you,” he whispers. “Break a leg.”

“KENMA!!!!!!! THE MAKEUP!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”

he just leaves

You get flowers from him after the show

You grab a few snacks w him right after

He needs to go to the bathroom nd leaves his phone with you

A notification pops up on his screen while you wait

It’s a text from kuroo; hidden, as expected fr kenma

But what’s more striking is his lockscreen

You, in all your thespian glory

On stage, the spotlight only on you

Might be your best picture

Nd he took it in the middle of the play?????

Even if that wasnt allowed, you don’t tell him off this one time

Maybe just this once

[videostak]

literally gonna spend all of today or atleast the first half of it just waiting watching dendy and my dad to make sure dendy doesnt run out whenever my dad opens a door T-T atleast once he leaves ill be able to do some stuff like wash the dishes and then later water the grass and shower. rly gonna try to go tomorrow cause it could be really really nice. well its kinda insane i looked at it and is a 40 min drive from the 2nd swap meet to home so like insane imagining how thatll be... even tho its p simple and once i get on one street itll just be straight down that til i reaech familiar areas but also thinking abt it has me all excited... like if i can do that then i should be fine in my driving abilities and i should also be able to drive downtown to the record store down there without much worry. the only thing abt downtown that can be hard is finding parking tho i think theres a place to park right infront of the record store iirc. sooo ya. dont have any plans to go to the record store downtown rn but like in the future i may. i dont kno how the parking infront of the record store there works tho like if i can park there and then go explore downtown or if its like on a limit. probably the latter. anywaaaays ya i think ill go to the swap meets tomorrow but the deciding factor will be 1 if i can get some sleep tonight with both my dads dog lucas and the cats roaming at night... idk i may have to sleep in the living room or smthn ill have to seeee. if its too hectic and i cant sleep then i wont go but like if that goes well then i will go for sure. itll totally be worth it.