#was talking to friends about how they all have an oc named sam and I don't

[aylacavebear]

Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 15

When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?

Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You

Word Count: 2615

Warnings: Angst, suspense, emotional situations, The Tension is Growing, Premonitions.

A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 15

For a while, you just sat there, your emotions running completely rampant as your thoughts ran laps around your mind. They all knew something that you hadn’t been told. Whatever it was, it wasn’t in your parent's letters, and it was more than Dean had already told you, which you thought had been everything.

Even if you still weren’t convinced he was your soul mate, you had kept your distance from him, only keeping things to friendship. The thought of the whole soul mate thing made your mind snap back to how you’d ended up alone in this room and looked around for a mirror. Finding one hanging over the dresser, you walked over to it and moved your dress so you could see what had only been incoherent lines.

You felt a knot in your stomach as you looked at it. The only letter that had come in was the last one, an n. 

There are other names that end with the letter ‘n.’

You needed to write down every tidbit of information you had at the moment. Quickly scanning the room, you found a notepad and a pen on one of the nightstands. 

No mark at 16. Parents killed at 2. Wounded soul. Shunned by town. Winchesters showed up 3 months before my 25th birthday. Promotion at garage and became Dean’s boss. They joked about him not doing anything funny with me. Sam and Dean knew I didn’t get my mark. Have to fully heal to get my mark. Dean knew something when he met me, and so did the boys at the garage. I could talk to Dean, easily, honestly. He saw me at school. Lisa isn’t Dean’s soulmate. Bobby had us work together on Dean’s first day, and we became friends, quickly. Dean was always thinking of me. The adults knew about the marriage contract and never told me, and they knew my parents hid key documents. Bobby and John were thankful Dean and I hit it off so quickly and became friends.

The more you wrote out, the faster your heart began beating. Most of that had only happened within the first month of meeting the Winchesters. There was so much more that was there, and you needed to see how it all fit together, like the parts of a car. That was how your mind worked, slowly seeing the connections. You’d never wanted to hope to find your soulmate, even after what Dean had said.

My parents left me letters, telling me about the Vaughts. The Vaughts knew what would happen if I lost my parents. They knew about my lineage. They knew I would be an empath.

That last line made you stop and think further.

Wait. Why would that matter? What would be the purpose of making me marry Cole? Why is that important? What about an empath, don’t I know?

You pulled out your phone and began searching online for anything related to empaths and why they’d be important, other than in specific jobs that helped people. There were more things you probably should have written down, but with the questions plaguing your mind, you had to find answers.

Nearly an hour, perhaps longer, passed, and you were still attempting to find anything that would answer your questions. You’d made a few notes, but it was only tiny pieces. One interesting thing was that if an empath found their soulmate, they could hear each other’s thoughts, but there was no conclusive evidence on the distance that worked. That didn’t help your other questions when it came to the Vaught family.

Frustrated, you tossed your phone on the bed and looked back at the list you’d been making. Reluctantly, you picked up the pen and jotted down other things. 

Dean seemed to know what I was feeling even if I hid it. He was always there when I had a nightmare. He never pushed anything intimate. All he ever did was try to comfort me and be there for me. He said he knew I was his soulmate at 16. The Vaughts

At that moment, goosebumps ran down your entire body. The Vaughts knew he was your soulmate. Dean had explained what had happened with that woman, Lisa. Even in your parents' letters, they had told you what the Vaughts were capable of. Now you had new questions, on top of the ones before.

Why didn’t Dean get closer to you? What was holding him back? Why wouldn’t he want to help you heal by being intimately close? What did your twenty-fifth birthday have to do with it all, and why was that date so important? 

That’s when you remembered Sam had told you that the powers that be were keeping this sort of thing from making it to the regular news. You glanced at the closed door of that bedroom and sighed, setting the pen down on the notepad. Yeah, you could storm back down there and demand answers, but what would it accomplish? 

You reluctantly got up and went through your bag, finding some comfortable pajama pants and a tank top. After changing and brushing out your hair, you laid on your back on the bed. You wanted to be alone, but you wanted so badly to have Dean there holding you like he would when you typically felt like this. The fact that he hadn’t come, hurt a bit, but you told yourself he was just busy hanging out with those he hadn’t seen in a while. You’d been the one to storm off.

My life sucks.

The thought made you roll onto your side, pull one of the pillows out from under the covers, and cuddle up to it. Your mark burned again, but you ignored it, no matter how badly it stung. You didn’t want to deal with anything, feeling as overwhelmed as you did. There were far too many questions circling your mind and just as many emotions coursing through your body to let you focus on any one thing, let alone deal with any of them.

With a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes, exhausted in every sense of the word. Your body, mind, and soul needed rest. So, you let the heaviness in your eyes win, slowly closing them as your body relaxed into the mattress, letting sleep take you.

The sounds of hounds woke you sometime in the middle of the night or perhaps very early morning, pulling you from another nightmare. Your heart was pounding, and your breathing was ragged, but you forced yourself off the bed and to the window as the house seemed eerily quiet. The stillness outside on the grounds of Crowley’s property made you think the shadows were moving, watching you. A shiver ran down your body as you watched three large dogs dart across a section of lawn where a lamppost stood.

He’s here…

The thought scared you, and it was hard to breathe, as if something was pressing against your chest.

Dean…

Without thinking, you ran out of your room, needing to find him, more to reassure yourself that he was okay. Halfway down another hall, you stopped dead in your tracks as an image began forming in your mind. 

It was somewhere outside, on Crowley’s land, around his home. Four men in tactical gear were slowly making their way closer to the house, using the shadows to stay hidden. They almost reminded you of what a SWAT team looked like, guns and all. Now you saw dogs, big, black, fierce dogs, more than a dozen of them, moving in packs of three. They were hunting. They, too, were using the shadows to move, just as silently as the four men. Broken glass and a silent gunshot in one of the rooms of the house. The room was blurry, and hard to make out the details. Someone was sitting on the edge of the bed, and there was a dart on the person's neck, but you couldn’t make out enough details.

You shook your head a bit, pushing the images away. With the emotions swirling through your mind and body, you took a shaky breath, steadying your nerves. Something you had read online teased its way through your mind. 

Follow the thread.

For a moment, you closed your eyes, taking slow, deep breaths and letting them out just as slowly. You knew that in order to find it, you had to accept that Dean was your soul mate, which both terrified you and brought you a sense of peace. When you opened your eyes again, you turned to the direction you’d come from, feeling a strange pull.

The darkness in Crowley’s mansion wasn’t what brought the feelings of dread that seemed to seep into your nerves. It was the eerie silence, not even the dogs outside making a sound. The shadows seemed to dance or move of their own accord. You set your hand on the wall, letting it guide you through the darkness.

You tried to find that thread, but it eluded you. Some light came in through the large windows near the stairs that led down the main room. For a moment, you looked outside. The grounds were still, and that stillness felt out of place. A shiver ran down your spine as the hair on the back of your neck stood on end. It was like someone was watching you.

When you were able to pull your gaze from the window, you continued down the stairs, creeping quietly through the main entrance. Cautiously, you opened the dining area doors. You almost felt like a mouse thrown into a game of cat and mouse that you had no control over. Swallowing hard, you looked under the table. You let out a sigh of relief, having found nothing there. Finally managing a deep breath, you pushed yourself through the dining room and into the kitchen. 

The light wasn’t on, none of them were, and you hadn’t come across anyone, not even servants. For a moment, you thought you’d seen the flash of a light outside one of the kitchen windows. Slowly, you crept closer to it, cautiously glancing around. Your heart was pounding so loud you were sure it would give away your location. 

A shadow that moved in the darkness outside the window sent a wave of fear throughout your body. Slowly, your hand covered your mouth, and you began backing up just as slowly. Someone came up behind you when you reached the center of the kitchen, wrapping one arm around you and putting a hand over your mouth. Just as you were about to scream, he spoke.

“Shhh, it’s me, Sweetheart,” he whispered softly, slowly taking his hand from your mouth.

You swung around in his arms and wrapped yours over his shoulders. “I was so worried something had happened to you,” you whispered, keeping your voice down.

“I’m okay,” Dean quietly tried to reassure you, holding you close, while also keeping a watchful eye. “Come on, it’s not safe here.”

Dean quietly but quickly led you to what looked like a study. There were no windows here, but the entire staff, Crowley, and Benny were there. There were also a couple of other men, although you hadn’t met them before. Dean pulled you into his arms after he closed and locked the door, wanting to help calm your nerves.

“Good, you found her,” Crowley said, both relieved and pleased, but he wasn’t happy that Dean had gone looking for you.

Dean just shot him a glare but stayed quiet; his focus was only on you now. Benny stayed leaning against a nearby wall, his arms crossed, unhappy with the situation.

“What’s going on?” you finally asked in a whisper, not wanting to mention the images you’d seen from earlier.

“Nick isn’t one to follow the orders of anyone,” Crowley sighed. “It’s why I arranged to have the three of you brought here until the next court date. The FBI isn’t capable of keeping anyone safe from that family.” 

Slowly, you looked over at him but stayed in Dean’s arms. “You knew they’d come after me?” you asked, a little confused.

“Love, he’s not just after you. He needs leverage, to make you comply. Figured you would have realized that already.” Crowley stated as he shot Dean a knowing look, which you didn’t miss. “That whole family knows they only have so much time before you’re useless to them.”

That made your brow furrow in complete confusion. You pulled away from Dean, looking up at him, now needing answers. “What haven’t you told me?” you asked him bluntly, but also were terrified of the answer.

You saw the sadness flash across his eyes before he hid it, even if he couldn’t look at you. “If Cole marries you before your mark comes in, it won’t matter who your soulmate is, your mark will change to his name, because you’re an empath.” Dean finally confessed quietly.

The silence in the room was deafening, but your heart was pounding, and again, it felt like you could barely breathe. For several moments, all you could do was stand there in a state of shock. It was the final piece to the puzzle that made everything else make sense, and the thought of that terrified you. 

“How do I make my mark come in all the way?” you asked quietly, your voice shaky, and your nerves felt like they were all exposed and firing all at once.

Dean finally met your gaze, as it had never left him. There was pain and hurt in his eyes, but you also saw a hint of hope. You could see his hesitation like he wanted desperately to give you the answer, but something was holding him back.

“Bloody hell,” Crowley’s exasperated words broke the silence. “If you don’t tell her, I will.”

That made both you and Dean jump a little, but you never looked away from him, even when he shot Crowley another glare before looking at you again. He managed a deep breath, but it was shaky. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, the man who had been standing near Crowley, watching monitors, spoke up.

“The Hellhounds have done their job. I’ll inform the police and the FBI,” the man told Crowley, his British accent thick.

Crowley took an annoyed breath, “Thank you, Ketch. You may all return to your rooms. The situation has been handled.”

With a heavy heart, you went to the door first, unlocked it, and headed toward your room. The staff followed you out, Ketch bringing up the rear, but Dean and Benny stayed behind with Crowley. You rubbed the place where your mark was, your gaze on the floor as you slowly made your way back to your room.

Dean’s words seemed to play on repeat through your mind. At least now you understood why the powers that be had kept something like this under wraps. If it got out, there were far too many grim possibilities that could happen. What was bugging you was that Dean knew more; they all did, and you still hadn’t gotten all the answers you needed.

You closed your bedroom door but couldn’t relax, so you paced a few feet from the foot of the bed. Your mind swam with questions. After several minutes, you finally just plopped down on the foot of your bed, frustrated, when you felt a sharp stinging feeling on the side of your neck. Just as you reached for it and your vision went blurry, someone came into view as they stepped out of the closet, and then everything went black.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 16 - Coming soon

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[mochie85]

I'll Follow You

One Shot Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

Summary: You came back to the compound, a year later after you left to make your own career, and you are worried about meeting Loki with how things ended when you left. Pairing: Romantic!Loki x OC Female Reader (Foxglove is her Superhero alias.) Word Count: Over 5.3k Warnings: Explicit. Fluff. Angst. Smut. Oral (female receiving). Shadowplay. Hallucinations.

Loki flipped through the magazine at a hurried pace, not looking at the photos or any of the articles. His hands needed something tactile to do. Or else, he feared, he might choke someone with them.

He paused when he saw an advertisement for a watch you were modeling for. There you were—a close-up of your beautiful face. Your eyes were bright and round. Your lips were dewy and sensual. Norns, he missed those lips. Especially when they were wrapped around his…

Ugh. Why can’t I stop thinking of her?! Loki snarled under his breath as he threw the magazine halfway across the room. It landed on the floor right by Sam’s feet. “You dropped this!” Sam said picking it up from the floor. He held it up in the air, not even looking, his attention fully absorbed on the TV screen.

Everyone had gathered to watch the talk show you were appearing on tonight. They couldn’t wait to see you come out and gossip about your life or inconsequential things. The entire team supported you in your decision to leave and start your acting career—everyone, except him.

Loki wanted to leave the room. He should’ve left and not agreed to come and watch the show with the others. He was about to stand up when-

“Shh. Shh. Guys quiet down. Here she is!” Wanda said shushing the entire room.  Loki watched the enormous television, enraptured. The camera panned over to the audience, their loud applause and cheers were deafening. Signs and pictures were held up from a time when you were an Avenger. He couldn’t help but sink further into his chair and get caught up with your grace once again.

“So, Foxglove- can I still call you Foxglove?” The host asked as you sat down.

“Of course, you can,” you beamed at the man behind the desk.

“I- I don’t know the protocol for these things. Do you get to keep the name even though you’re not an Avenger anymore?”

Your practiced laugh showed through your gritted teeth. “It doesn’t work exactly like that. Foxglove is the name I gave myself. I had it with me when I started with the Avengers and took it with me when I left. It wasn’t a title or anything.”

“And did they just let you leave? I would think it was like being in the mafia. ‘You know too many of our secrets. We can’t let you out alive!’ sorta thing,” the host said, thinking he was being clever.

“My friends and colleagues have all been supportive. And I remain in close contact with most of them.”

‘Most of them.’ That statement swirled the emotions Loki was feeling inside. He was not one of those who supported you and was very vocal about it. The fact that you still keep in contact with almost everyone here left him envious.

“And that’s actually part of the reason why I’m here tonight,” you continued. “My dear friend Tony, whom many of you know as Ironman- again, not a title…” you chuckled. “…Is throwing his annual charity gala this spring. This year he decided to make it a month-long occasion with different charities and events happening once a week culminating in the yearly gala at the end of the month.”

“That’s wonderful! That’s all he does when he’s not out saving the world, is party, huh?” the host said looking straight into the camera.

“Asshole!” Tony sassed under his breath, earning a few chuckles from the team.

“And what exactly is your part in this month-long event?” The host asked you.

“Well, I plan to raise money for The Nature Conservancy here in New York. I ask everyone to come and help us plant new trees or donate. Every dollar will be matched, and we can help restore some of the forests, in other parts of the country.”

“The Nature Conservancy is a special organization for you, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s where I first worked. It’s where I first started noticing my powers.”

“Your powers are amazing! You can talk to plants!”

“Well, it’s a lot more complicated than that,” you said with restraint. “Chlorokinesis allows me to excel a plant’s growth to a thousand times what they normally can. I can also enhance their natural defenses and abilities. And like my namesake, Foxglove, I can give you hallucinations when touched.”

“Can we get a demonstration?” the host asked to the cheers of his audience. You reached out to touch him “No, no, no!” he said nervously. “I don’t need any more hallucinations right now!” you both chuckled. “Thank you. But maybe you can make a flower grow?” he suggested, and the audience cheered you on.

“Sure, of course,” you smiled, happily. You rotated your wrists and flicked them around, gesturing for a plant to grow from the host’s wooden desk. The branches wrapped around itself forming a steady trunk. Soon the branches grew out further and further. Blooming wisterias in varying colors began to sprout, amazing the audience.

You used to be unstoppable. You used to tear down enemies left and right, numbing them with your visions before you cut them down and made them regret opposing you. Now you do party tricks for the camera so you can get a laugh from people who don’t care about you. Who didn’t even love you! Loki was furious.

Once again, Loki made to get up. He was almost through the exit of the room when he heard the next question that made him stop.

“So, Foxglove, will you be attending these events alone?” The audience ‘ooh’d’ at the question when the host decided to get a little more personal. “I heard you were cozying up to a certain superhero. Do you like those types? Do you have a type? What does Foxglove look for in a partner?”

You laughed embarrassedly. “These rumors! I swear they pair me up with someone new each week.”

“Oh, but you were seen leaving a nightclub with your costar, Superman himself, Henry Cavil.” The photo was put up on the screen. A picture of the two of you laughing in front of a busy club as Henry gingerly put his arm around your shoulders. The entire room of Avengers whooped and hollered cheering you on.

“We were celebrating. We had just wrapped our movie and it was my first time in London. So, Henry just wanted to show me around. Very friendly. All platonic.” You smiled, blushing. Loki noted that blush. I’ll break him like a twig!

“Ok. Ok. What about your former colleague, Loki of Asgard?” The host asked as a picture of the two of you replaced the one on the screen.

It was a photo taken when the two of you had gotten back from a mission. You had failed and cried about it on the flight back. Loki was wiping the tears from your face, trying to cheer you up. You didn’t know the PR department was there taking shots as all of you disembarked off the jet.

The camera cut back to you and you blushed harder. Once again, Loki noted that blush. He let out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding and swallowed. Does she miss me too?

“Loki and I have remained good friends. I look forward to seeing him again,” you told the host.

Lies. Not a single word was exchanged between the two of you since you left. The last words you said to him were “I hate you! I never want to see you again!” Loki couldn’t detect any falsehood when you screamed those words at him. That hurt the most.

Everyone turned to where Loki was standing. Some, like Thor, were smiling. Mostly everyone else was shocked.

“What?!” Loki snapped back at them, making everyone turn back to the television.

“Oh! Did you hear that? She wants to see him again.” The host embarrassed you. Your powers grew erratic as a new sprout of branches grew from the tree.

The whole audience was eating it up, clapping. You tried to hide behind your hand, but the different cameras provided different angles of your mortification.

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Foxglove, everybody!” The host said pointing towards you clapping. You laughed and waved at the audience as Wisteria petals fell from the ceiling.

Weeks later, you sat in the back of a Maybach that Tony hired to chauffer you to the gala. This year it would be held at the compound which garnered more donations because everyone wanted to see inside the heavily guarded facility. Your intricate beaded dress fit you snuggly and covered you from shoulders to toe. It ensured that no one would accidentally come in contact with your skin. Especially with how crowded Tony’s parties got. The only wrinkle was from all the times you’ve grabbed it in anxiousness and wrung the fabric.

Why did I let Tony talk me into this?! I should’ve faked sick or something! What if Loki’s there? Of course, he’s there. Where else would he be? What if he doesn’t want to see me again? What if he has a date?! Maybe I should’ve invited Henry? No, no. He’d get the wrong idea. Just drop in, say your hellos, then leave. I don’t have to stay. I’m a grown adult. I can do what I want! FUCK! What if Loki comes and talks to me?

Once past the gates, the car crawled through a winding road with lanterns adorning the pathway. The car stopped at the front steps of the Avenger’s compound and you could hear the heavy bass of the music pounding through the car windows as bright lights and lasers littered the night sky.

You made your way through security to the massive, yet highly decorated, quinjet hangar and a sweeping staircase that descended to an impressive room below. You smiled, reminiscing about all the parties and events you attended as an Avenger- sweet memories that erased the worry you had when you were in the car. Picking up your gown, you gracefully descended the staircase. Keeping your eyes trained on the steps below, you tried not to look around, to look for him.

“Fox! I can’t believe you’re here!” Wanda shrieked as she ran up to you. She squeezed your sleeved arm and pressed her cheek on your shoulder.

“I’ve missed you, Wanda!” you said kissing the top of her hair.

“Come on. Everyone’s here- well, almost everyone,” she corrected herself. “We haven’t seen you in so long. Everyone wants to catch up.” She led you along to the bar where you were greeted by your former teammates. You were grateful that Loki wasn’t among them. He always loved these parties. You actively refused invites the past year just to avoid him. Awkward hugs and pleasantries were shared. Drinks were offered along with your first few dances promised to Sam and Wanda.

After hours of conversations with the team, and some drinks with Tony, you fell back into a sense of belonging and family. You didn’t realize how much you missed your friends here. How much you missed being an Avenger. It got so lonely most nights not having anyone to talk to. At least here, you would have had Nat or Bucky to train with in the middle of the night.

Or Loki to keep you company.

You groaned internally. You couldn’t help but be on edge all night, thinking about him and wondering if Loki was ever going to show up.

Before leaving for the night, you excused yourself to get some fresh air. There was a greenhouse in the back glades of the compound that you frequented most nights just to be alone. You used to make the hedges grow all around, giving you a private garden away from the rest of the world.

Inside, it was as if you had never left. The plants stood tall as if to greet you. Bright flowers bloomed in different colors as if in competition to win your adoration. And in the back corner, hidden behind large monstera plants, was a cove of plush blankets and chairs that you hid from anyone ever finding. Everyone except, “Loki?”

Loki sat in the rattan chair; his legs crossed reading a magazine with your picture on the cover. He looked as breathtaking as the first time you saw him, like trouble and a promise all wrapped up in his pressed monochromatic black suit. His mischievous smile appeared, tempting you closer.

“Hello, Foxglove,” he greeted you. His voice sending shivers down your spine. Fight or flight? Fight or flight? You kept repeating in your head.

“I…didn’t know this spot was taken. I won’t bother you. Goodnight,” you hastily said as you turned to leave.

“Wait!” he cried standing up. You could feel him grab hold of your wrist. You looked down to see his shadow holding on to you like a dear friend, shadow to skin. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched. It’s been so hard to be intimate with anyone because of your body’s defense mechanism. And here was Loki, the only man who figured out a loophole to your little enigma.

“I just wanted to say…” Loki paused, staring only into your eyes. “Y-you look beautiful tonight.” You pulled your hand away from his shadow and stayed quiet. “I saw you. We… the team… saw you on the talk show. You’ve done amazing things this past year. One movie, a television show, countless endorsements.”

“Still don’t think I can make it?” you challenged.

“Fox, it was never about that!” he argued. His sudden outburst propelled him like a predator. He stalked his way closer to you, making you back into the glass wall of the greenhouse. You caught whiffs of his cologne mixed with the tropical scent of the flowers all around you. He stopped when he realized he had alarmed you. “I should not have advanced on you so quickly. I apologize.”

“It’s all right. Just habit, I guess.” You were always conscious of people touching you and getting too close. You never wanted to be the cause of their hallucinations. Loki felt relieved that he hadn’t scared you off. His shadow stood ahead of him, rubbing your arm with the back of his fingertips, trying to mollify your anxiousness.

Loki watched and waited as you settled. Jealousy festered in his body at the sight of his shadow being able to comfort you and he couldn’t. “You look… breathtaking, by the way.” He tried to soothe.

“You already said that,” you said curtly, blushing. Loki loved your blush. He loved getting under your skin and teasing you.

“Is your new lover here with you tonight? Got sick of the real superheroes, had to get yourself a pretend one?” he tried deflecting. Loki smirked looking through the glass and out to the party to see if he could spot Cavill.

“As I recall, you wanted nothing to do with me once I stepped foot out of your room,” you said quoting him from the last time you spoke. “So, it’s none of your business whether or not Henry and I are together.”

“But you are…together?” he asked. His stare was unwavering, demanding an answer to his desperate question.

“I don’t need this right now!” You were angry and speechless. He doesn’t have the right to question your life’s choices especially when he wanted no part of them in the first place.

You moved to get away from his shadow’s hold and out of the greenhouse. Loki followed you close. “Fox, please. Stop.”

“Why are you even here, Loki?” you called back, briskly walking towards the exit. “You knew this was- This was my spot. MY SPOT!” you yelled, turning abruptly towards him.

“Because I wanted a chance to talk to you in private! Without the cameras or the paparazzi. Without some life-or-death mission hanging over our heads. I needed to see your face again, without all these people trying to steal your attention away from me.” He stopped and watched you reach for the door to go outside. “I’m sorry, Vixen.”

Vixen.

Feelings you thought you had buried deep down inside of you started to resurface. All because of that name he used. The one he would whisper as he called for you in his arms late at night. The name he used when he made you laugh so hard the only way to stop you was to kiss you.

The one name he knew would stop you in your tracks… because it was the one name he used when he was about to touch you himself.

“I am sorry if I ever made you feel…”

“Unworthy? Incapable? Useless?!” you turned as you accused him.

“Unwanted,” he finished.

Real tears fell down your face now. Loki cupped your cheek and wiped it away with his thumb. You could feel the heat in his touch. The energy. You’ve felt it with his shadow, but there was always something electrifying and passionate when Loki touched you himself.

It was a luxury to feel this connection with someone. To feel the warmth from his fingers. The callouses in his palms. You imagined feeling his soft lips on you once again until you stopped yourself. It was a dangerous path to have such expectations right now. You opened your teary eyes to find Loki watching you.

His eyes darted around to your surroundings before he closed them and tried to focus back on you. “You are very much wanted, Vixen. I just couldn’t admit to myself how much I wanted you back then.”

He opened his eyes to yours. The swirl of emotion in them was breathtaking. It was then that you saw his true face for the first time. His emotions. His thoughts. He was stripped of his armor and his pretenses. You felt as if you two were the only thing that existed in that time and space. As if he were holding his life, right there cupped in between his hands.

Your heart pounded in your ears as he continued his confession. “I am a jealous god. You know this. I didn’t want to share you with anybody. I wanted to keep you to myself. To keep you from the world. I was afraid that you would tire of me like you did with being an Avenger. Cast me out after seeing what the world out there could offer you.”

Loki placed his forehead to yours, feeling your breath on his lips. He bared it all for you tonight. He admitted something you knew was difficult for him to confess.

But could it erase what he made you feel for wanting to follow your dreams? Horrible and selfish. Untalented. Unwanted.

“I love you.” Your eyes grew wide at his expression. “I loved you then. I’ve loved you since. I am still deeply in love with you. Even now, when you’re about to run away from me, my heart won’t let me forget you. I was afraid that I would have no place in the world that you were creating for yourself. So, for that, I am sorry.” You closed your eyes and lingered in his touch a while longer.

“I wanted to apologize. I never got a chance to see you again after our fight, and I regret that I never made amends to you. You had every right to follow your path. I shouldn’t have stopped you. I should’ve supported you.” His thumb caressed your cheeks back and forth. You always did have the softest skin, unblemished by anyone else’s touch, he thought.  “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t have to say anything at all. And if you want to leave now, I won’t stop you. Never again. But I just needed you to know how I felt.”

Do you love him? You asked yourself as you looked into his variegated eyes. Did you spend every night thinking about him? Did you ignore the compound, and your friends, this past year just to avoid seeing him again? Afraid that he would have someone new in his life? Did you miss his voice when he says your name? His kisses? His touch?

“Yes,” you answered yourself. Loki’s brows knitted in confusion. “Loki, I understand now. Thank you… what I said to you back then, I was angry, but...” you tried to start.

Loki smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead. “We were both angry and said things we didn’t mean. Me more than you. Please don’t apologize. Least of all to me.” He exhaled as his eyes darted around again. You nodded your head, accepting his grace- forgiving you without having to apologize.

You looked up at his eyes, filled with wonder, “What do you see? When you touch me?” you asked gently. All this time you never thought to ask him.

“I see what I always see. Since the very first time I touched you. Do you remember?” You shook your head no. “They showed a picture of it on the talk show.” Realization sunk in. “I was wiping your tears just like now.”

Loki looked around again and smiled, putting his hands in his pockets. “I see home. I see the woods that used to grow behind the castle walls. Thor and I used to sneak out when we were children and climb the trees. The same woods we used as hunting grounds when we got older. Would you like to see it?”

No one had ever asked you that before.  No one had ever had the power to do that before! You nodded and faint green smoke rose from his fingers. Your vision got blurry as the greenhouse was replaced by a dense forest. The trees were tall and luscious. Strands of warm light filtered through the canopy above shining down on the emerald grass below.

“Come with me.” Loki held your hand as he walked further into the woods. Dead leaves and twigs crunched at your feet as a soft breeze blew through the lace of your dress giving you goosebumps. “There’s a glade up ahead where we can just lay on the grass. I used to spend my free time there, letting the hours idle away.” The thought made you smile.

Sure enough, a clearing began to form up ahead. Long, soft grass weaved itself as it grew amongst large wildflowers. The filtered light from the canopy above made the blooms shine like jewels on a bed of velvet.

“I have yet to see anywhere comparable to this place on Midgard,” Loki said circling the glade, a look of homesickness in his eyes. “That metropolis has nothing compared to the splendor of these woods.”

“It’s beautiful.” You said walking towards him. A path of small wildflowers blooming with every step you made.

“Thank you. It is beautiful. But still an illusion. We are still very much in the greenhouse by the compound. You’re just seeing what I’m seeing at the moment.” You reached out towards a tree and felt cold glass instead of bark.

“You see this every time you’ve touched me? Every time we’ve…”

“Hmm,” Loki nodded solemnly. “Sometimes it's these woods. Other times it's my bedchambers in the palace. Yet, every time I’m with you, I see this- my childhood home. I haven’t been back since you left.” Loki bent down and picked up a wildflower that had grown in your stride. “I try to conjure it myself, but it never feels the same. The colors aren’t as vibrant. Not as much warmth.” He placed the flower on your ear, pushing your stray hair back. His hands ventured further down, tracing the beads of your sleeves.

“I’ve missed you,” he admitted.

“You’ve missed me? Or you’ve missed my powers and that they can bring you home?” you asked slightly jilted.

Loki looked deeply into your eyes as he turned you into his embrace. Your hands fell onto his arms and the look he gave you stole your breath away. “You are my home,” he confessed with a passion and honesty you’ve never heard from him before.  

He wasted no time. He gave you no warning as he conceded to his urges and kissed you fervidly. The soft lips you were fantasizing about earlier painted a poor picture of his actual kiss. Soft yet demanding. Giving, yet always ravenous. It was as if no time had passed between you two. You were back in his arms kissing him and it felt like he described it. Home.

“All I ever wanted was to have you here in my arms,” he breathed in between kisses. Your hands found their way into his hair, pulling him back to you for another kiss. His arms wrapped selfishly around you, holding you tighter to him.

The heat was too much. It’s been so long since you’ve been held so intimately. But with Loki’s lips devoted to your neck, you would burn gladly. You would die happily on this pyre- as the last thing you would hear would be Loki moaning in your ears.

You were lost in his haze, caught up in the moment with the feel of his body against yours. He pushed you against the tree and you felt the cold glass of the greenhouse against your back.

Loki towered over you, “Tell me you want this,” he whispered onto your noxious skin. “Tell me you’ve missed this and want this with me.” He looked into your eyes, imploring something deep and vulnerable inside you.

“I do, Loki. I want this with you” You moaned holding tight against his grip. You felt his hands gather your dress skirt. Slowly his hands wandered, savoring the feel of your soft skin. His hallucinations were getting more and more vivid. Believable. Or perhaps it was just his kiss, sending you into slight delirium yourself.

Loki hurriedly took off his suit jacket and flung it across the room. He knelt in front of you, in between your parted legs as he raised your left knee above his shoulders- kissing his way up to your inner thighs. “Loki is this real?” you asked looking around you.

“Gods, I hope so,” he prayed, leaving a mark on your thigh. He kissed his way up to your core and licked you through the fabric of your panties. You heard the sheer cotton tear as his fingers brushed up against your eager clit.

Your fingers ran through his hair, pulling when he licked a wide stripe in between your folds. Your knees buckled at the sensation and soon you were reaching around yourself for something to hold. Something to keep you up as Loki lost himself in your wet arousal.

The cold glass of the greenhouse was replaced by the feeling of something warm and sturdy behind you. You looked up to see that Loki’s shadow had positioned himself to where his chest was flushed against your back- his dark hands roaming your body. His arms reached forward to hold your dress up above your waist, aiding Loki in his endeavors.

You felt a kiss on your neck, a quick peck as if he was asking for permission or giving you a warning. You yelped as his shadow quickly lifted you by your hips and Loki pushed both your knees up for his shadow to hold.

“Loki!”

“Yes, my love?” he asked as he continued to latch his mouth and draw on your aching cunt. Loki’s shadow spread your legs. You were splayed open and exposed. Leaving Loki to devote his tongue to you. You reached up and ran your hands through his shadow's hair, pulling as he sweetly kissed your neck.  

You couldn’t help the moans and loud whimpers escaping your lips. You bucked your hips onto Loki’s face as your head reared back onto his shadow’s shoulders.

“Come for me, Fox. Let me hear you,” he commanded as he continued his consumption of you. “Let me taste you again. Give me what I’ve been missing. What I’ve been craving.” He said the last words to your tormented clit. You shuddered violently as moans and whimpers of his name fell from your lips. “That’s it. There you go, Vixen,” he cooed as he drank your arousal and lapped around your thighs.

His shadow laid you down gently and you felt the plush pillows and cold blankets from the greenhouse corner underneath you. A warring sensation against the heat of Loki’s body pressed on top of you. A bit of reality mixed in with the illusion Loki was scarcely hanging on to.

His hands fondled your every curve and every soft line. You cupped his face and led him to your kiss. His soft lips quivered when you reached in between your bodies and stroked his clothed erection. So hard and so tight. He breathed a sigh of relief when you unzipped his pants and stroked him.

“Fuck,” he moaned. Your name followed next as he bucked his hips into your hand. “Vixen…tell me you’re mine,” he panted. He kissed you hard, not letting you reply, afraid of your answer. You lined him up next to your expecting cunt and pulled him inside you.

You bit your lip and moaned as the look of pure pleasure radiated through your face. “Tell me…” he tried again as he pushed his hips into you repeatedly.

“I love you, Loki,” you moaned. His eyebrows slanted skeptically, stilling his movements and letting your words sink into his thoughts. “I’ve always been yours.” You admitted.

His kiss was magic. It was passion and life. Remorse and reconciliation all at once. He began his movements again at a steady pace, savoring your tight walls around him. You could feel the ridges on his shaft with every euphoric pull and thrust. His head bowed at the sheer power of your declaration. “Say it again…” he whispered.

“I’m yours,” you moaned.

“…say it…” he bit his lips. “…ag-again…please…” His eyes were closed as he focused on the agonizingly drawn-out movements of his hips to yours.

“I love you, Loki,” you cried as he slammed against you. You squeezed around him finally pushing him off that edge. Loosening the tight hold he had on his pleasure and pouring it all into you. The wave of bliss hit you hard and you came onto his throbbing cock at the same time.  

Spent and panting next to you, Loki held you close. His kisses were endless. Your cheeks and jaw would be bruised tomorrow from the affection he was showering you with. His hands were always touching you. Your neck, your face. Your thigh that was wrapped around his legs. You lost all track of time being with the god of mischief and soon the bright sunlight that trickled down to the forest floor was replaced by the harsh glare of the greenhouse overhead lamp.

Loki had little strength left to keep the illusion up any longer. He seemed weary but content. You kissed him fleetingly as you sat up back to reality. “Stay,” he said softly. “The one thing I didn’t say last time…I’m saying it now. Don’t go. Stay.” His hands held yours tightly.

So many feelings were attached to that one word. The weight of it crushing your heart. “I’m not asking you to give up your life. I’m not asking you to stay just for the night either. I’m asking for you to just be,” he smiled at you. “Be who you want to be and I will support you like I should have.”

You crawled back to him, settling your head on your propped-up elbows, while your other hands played with the buttons on his shirt. “And if I decide to go?”

“Then I’ll do the one thing I should’ve done last time but didn’t.” he smiled as you looked at him expectantly. “I’ll follow you.”

A/N: This was a request sent in and I'm sorry to say it took this long for me to finish it. I hope you like it my lovely @gruftiela. I tried to stick to the vibe of the song. But I also added lyrics from one of my other favorite Depeche Mode songs. See if you can spot it 😝.

🏷️ @emarich7 @michelleleewise @coldnique @psychospore @lokisgoodgirl @silverfire475 @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @tallseaweed @holdmytesseract @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee @melsunshine @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @cjand10 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @chrisevansmaindish

[rollingsins]

all hers, part i

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii | part viii | part ix | part x | part xi | part xii | part xiii | part xiv | part xv | part xvi | part xvii | part xviii | part xix | part xx | part xxi | part xxii | part xxiii | part xxiv | part xxv | part xxvi | epilogue

summary: “I’d kill everybody in this town before they’d take you away from me.” Tara says, eyes wild. “I’d kill everybody in the world. You belong to me.” ghostface!tara

warnings: (+18), Tara is Ghostface, possessive behavior, vaginal sex, murder of an OC character), smut. 

word count: 4.2k

a/n: for anon, who requested some smutty, possessive ghostface!tara. very, very fun to write, let me know if you want me to write some more ;) 

Four murders in seven days. 

It was a nightmare. You’d heard the stories, sure. Seen the movies. But you’d never thought it would actually happen to you. 

That’s what you got for transferring to Woodsboro of all places. 

Your phone buzzes as you finish locking the remaining doors. It’s Tara. You smile instinctively as her name flashes across your screen. 

where are you? still coming over? 

You look outside. It’s dark already, and the thought of leaving the house when there’s a lunatic running around scares the shit out of you. 

not tonight sorry, baby. lost track of time. don’t want to leave Chase here by himself.

You contemplate asking her over. Her sister is in town, and you’d been trying to give them some space to reconnect. Sam was with her, you assured yourself. Besides, the last thing you wanted was her leaving the safety of her home and getting attacked. 

“YN! Popcorn ready?” 

You drop your phone to the counter, check on the popcorn in the microwave. 

Chase had been your first friend at Woodsboro High, before you’d met anyone else, even Tara. Since you’d started dating her, you hadn’t seen him much. He’d asked you over tonight - your parents were out and he didn’t want you on your own. He’d had a hankering, in somewhat bad taste, to marathon the Stab movies. 

It was nice being with Chase again, even under such terrifying circumstances. 

You tell him so. 

“You know why that is, right?” He laughs, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Your girlfriend hates me.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“She does not.” 

“Does too. Every time I see her she gives me these eyes.” 

He squints, twists his face into an angry glare. 

“Like she wants to kill me.” 

“You’re imagining it.” You tell him. 

Throw a kernel of popcorn at him. 

“Uh huh.” He says, turning his gaze back to the movie, “Sure.”

Talking about Tara had always been weird with him. He’d had a thing for you, back in the day, when you’d first met. He’d even asked you out once. But you already had your sights set on Tara and nothing could deter you. He’d taken it well-ish. So you’d thought. 

“How are things going with her, anyway?” His voice casual. You look over. 

“Good.” You say. “Great. Why do you ask?”

He doesn’t look away from the TV. Shrugs, but it’s tense. Like he’s trying to appear more non-committal. You suddenly feel uncomfortable. 

“Just wondering.” 

The movie plays a little, you let awkward silence wash over the room. Peer down at your phone. No response from Tara. Maybe you should have gone to her house after all. 

“I-” He says suddenly, then stops. Purses his lips. 

“What?” 

“It’s nothing.” He says. “Nevermind.” 

You stare. 

“What, Chase?”

“I just get a weird vibe from her sometimes. That’s all.” 

You blink, caught off guard. 

“You don’t know her.” You say, instantly defensive. “There’s no vibe. She’s perfect. She’s the perfect girlfriend.” 

And she was. She picked you up everyday at 8am on the dot to drive you to school. She walked you to class, held your books for you. Showered you with affection. 

“She’s possessive.” Chase says. He’s looking at you now. Words spilling out of him like they’ve been pent up for a while. “You just don’t see it because you’re all moon-eyed for her. It’s not normal. It’s like you're her special toy and nobody else can play with you.” 

“Stop.” You say. 

“She’s isolated you from all your friends.” He continues. “You used to play soccer, remember? What happened to that? What about dance? All the things you used to love. You don’t do them anymore. Your whole world revolves around her.” 

You stand up. A lump rises in the back of your throat. You’d come here to watch movies with an old friend, not have him berate you about your relationship. 

“That isn’t true.” You say, “With school, I just don’t have time for those things anymore-”

“Because when you’re not in school, you’re with her.” He presses. “And she wants you with her all the time. Like I said, possessive.” 

“Great to know how you really feel.” You say. Grab your phone. 

“Sorry, YN. The truth hurts.” He slumps back into his seat, stares at the TV again. “Where are you going?”

“Bathroom.” You mumble. 

You open your phone when you reach the bathroom, go straight to Tara’s contact. 

She’s opened your message, but hasn’t replied. 

“Great.” You say aloud. Your perfect girlfriend has left you on read. 

You contemplate calling her, asking her to come get you. No. You chew on your bottom lip. You could just leave, chance an encounter with ghost-face. You decide against it. You’re annoyed with Chase, but not that annoyed. 

You wash your hands. Head back downstairs. Flick Tara another message. 

You’re not mad, are you? Love you. Wish I was with you instead. xx

Chase hasn’t moved. He looks up when you enter, looking a little sheepish. 

“YN-”

“Don’t worry about it.” You say. Sink into the sofa, as far from him as possible. “Let’s just watch the movie.” 

And you do. Forty minutes of cheesy dialogue and bad acting and not a word from Chase. You like it that way. You keep glancing at your phone, waiting for your girlfriend’s response. But nothing. 

The movie’s over. You can hear the credits rolling, but your eyes are drooping. Half gone. Your phone long abandoned, Tara’s reply nowhere to be found. You’re dreaming of Hawaii in the summer. Pina colada in hand. Tara dressed in a bikini, waist deep in the water. Kissing her in the sand, not a care in the world. 

Then you hear the crash. 

Your eyes jerk open. You sit up. Startled. You look around the room. The TV has shut itself off. Chase is nowhere to be found. There are noises coming from the foyer. Your heart beats, fast. You look wildly around the room. You want something to defend yourself with. 

You settle on a small wooden zebra. Some useless ornament only Chase’s mom would decorate with. It’ll do. 

You hear scuffling. More crashing. Then, Chase’s voice, shrill - scared. 

“Please! Stop!”

Your ears ring. Terror rips through you as you make your way into the hallway, quietly as you can. 

Chase is on the floor, writhing, both his hands wrapped around a curved, silver dagger. 

Your stomach drops. 

It’s Ghostface. 

Your bottom lip trembles. You want to run. Scream. Hide. All at once. But you can’t. You’re rooted to the spot, transfixed. 

Ghostface raises his arm, steady. Then slams his dagger straight down and through Chase’s chest. Chase cries out. Blood gurgles from his lips. Ghostface stabs him, twice, then three times. Crazed. Possessed. 

Your body gives way. You let out a scream. Topple backwards into the hallway cabinet. 

Glass smashes around you. Ghostface looks straight at you. 

Your back hurts from the fall. You writhe desperately on the floor, trying to get up. The Zebra has slipped from your fingers. Tears tumble down your face. 

In your peripheral, you see Ghostface abandon Chase. Head straight for you.

You cry out as he makes a grab at you. 

“Stop.” His voice is contorted, unnatural. He’s using a voice-changer. That same awful voice from that dumb movie you’d just watched. You sob as his hands tighten around you. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t struggle.” 

You flop out of his grip, kick up just in time to take the Zebra in your hands. 

“I’m not here for you, stop-” 

Your fingers tighten around the Zebra. You use all your force to smack it hard against Ghostface’s head. You hear him cry out. Fall back. 

You’ve hit him hard. He clutches at his head as he falls back. 

There’s a clang as his mask hits the ground. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Your chest seizes painfully. The Zebra in your hand slips out of your grasp and hits the floor. 

“Tara?” 

She looks up at you, her eyes wide, like a deer in headlights. Tears prick at the sides of your eyes. You blink. 

She swallows. Stands upright.  

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” She says. The voice changer is gone. The sound of her voice makes you want to weep, “Don’t be scared.” 

She edges towards you, slowly. As if you’re a baby rabbit that might startle at any moment. You see the gleam of her dagger in her hand. Still wet with blood. 

“Tara.” You say again, voice trembling. You take a step back. Panic floods through you. How can this be happening?

“It’s me.” She assures. “You don’t have to be afraid. Look.” She holds out her hand, drops the dagger to the floor. It careens over the carpet. Stains it with blood. 

She inches closer. You don’t realize just how close she is before she’s reaching out, tugging you into her open arms. Your body locks up. The shock, the panic, the lump at the back of your throat. Everything spills over. You blubber into her chest as she holds you tight. 

“Shhh. It’s okay baby.” She comforts you, hands rubbing tight circles across your back. You want to push her off. You want to run. But you can't, you're frozen, all you can do is bawl. She tilts your head up to her. Rubs her nose against yours. She smells metallic. Like blood. She’s covered in it, you realize with a start. 

You tremble. 

“Don’t be scared.” She repeats. Strokes her fingers along your cheeks. “My pretty girl. I would never hurt you.” 

Her eyes are wild. Pupils blown. No trace of your sweet, loving girlfriend. You don’t recognize the person in front of you. You want her off you. But you don’t dare push her away. She presses you into her. Over her shoulder, you see Chase’s lifeless body. His glassy eyes stare up at you. 

“He’s dead.” You say. Tears leak like acid from your eyes. Tara holds you tighter. 

“I know.” You feel her lips graze the side of your head. She presses a lingering kiss there. “I’m sorry you had to see, darling. I thought you were asleep.” 

A whimper emerges from your lips. Tears fall hot and fast down your cheeks, your hands limp at your side as she holds you. Cradles you. 

“Why?” 

She pauses. You feel her tense. 

“Because they wanted you. All of them. They wanted you, but I’d never let them have you. Because you’re mine.” 

And it clicks. There had been four victims so far. The first was Dan and his brother Sam, both boys you’d known since elementary school. Both who’d had crushes on you. 

Then there was Aaron, your first kiss. Then Sadie, your first girlfriend. 

Your bottom lip trembles. They were all dead because of you. 

Tears roll down your face. Your body starts to shake. 

Tara shushes you, pulls back only slightly to wipe away your tears. She’s so tender, gentle, you almost forget the bloodied body you’d just watch her maim lying in the corner of the room.  

“Don’t cry, sweet girl.” She presses her lips to your forehead. “Here. Look.” 

She steps back momentarily. Shimmies out of her black robes. She’s wearing your old varsity soccer t-shirt underneath. Your sweatpants. The necklace you’d got her for your one year anniversary. She looks like herself again. Your Tara. 

Your bottom lip trembles.

“See. It’s just me.” 

It makes you cry even harder. How could this be real? You’d just watched as your sweet, gentle, loving girlfriend had driven a knife into someone. 

Tara. How could it be Tara? 

“I know, I know, baby. It’s okay.” Her arms are around you again. She holds you as you sob. Every instinct in you screams to run. To get away from this deranged psycho who just killed your best friend in front of you. But you can’t. She’s the only one you want to run to. 

You press yourself into her, tears soaking through her shirt. She cradles you, you feel her lips ghost your forehead. 

“I didn’t want you to find out like this.” She says, “I’m sorry, baby girl. I know it’s a shock.” 

She holds you a while longer. Until your eyes are red and dry, nothing left to cry. Your heartbeat still hammering against your chest. 

What do I do?, You think. Where do I go?

She was calm now, much calmer than you. But that could change in a heartbeat. If you ran, she’d chase you. Maybe even kill you too. That look in her eyes, black, terrifying. You hiccup against her. 

What the fuck do I do? 

 She rubs your back. Draws away from you just enough to wipe the rest of your tears from your face. Lets her fingers linger on your cheeks. 

“Come here.” She dips down before you can protest. Presses her lips to yours. You don’t resist. Electricity flows through your body. Your stomach flutters the way it always does when she kisses you. Your body wants her just as it always does. Guilt flushes through you. You draw back, hold her at arms length. 

“I can’t.” You pull back, a fresh wave of tears rising. Your stomach turns. “I think I’m going to be sick” 

Her hands grip your shoulders. 

“It’s okay. It’s alright. Hey. Look at me.” She’s firm, suddenly. You look up at her through glistening eyes. She softens her voice again, brushes your hair out of your eyes. 

“I’m going to clean this up.” Her head jerks to the body near the corner of the room. “Then I’m going to clean you up.” She strokes the side of your face. Scratches on your cheeks from the glass. 

“And then I’m going to take you to bed and make love to you. Show you just how much I adore you. Alright? Will that make everything better, sweetheart?” 

Revulsion rises in your stomach suddenly. Her hands on you feel heavy. Suffocating. Your cheeks flush hot with emotion. 

“No. Don’t you dare touch me.” You say. You shake off her hands, take a step back. 

The words startle you as much as they startle her. Hurt clouds her features for a moment. She tries to smooth it over, tilting her head. 

“Baby. You don’t mean that.” 

“Yes I do. I don’t want you near me. Not after what you’ve done.” You back up, pressing yourself against the wall. Part of you wants to make a grab for the dagger but she’s too close. Besides, what would you do with it anyway? You weren’t like her. You weren’t a killer. 

Tara blinks. Her eyes fill with something you don’t recognize. 

“You’re just confused.” Tara says, voice hollow. “I know it’s hard to get your head around-“ 

“Please. Go. Just go.”

You’re shaking. Tara stares. Her bottom lip twitches. You recognize what’s behind her eyes this time. Anger. Irritation. 

“You want me to go? After all this. After everything I’ve done for you?” For the first time, her voice is trembling. She looks angry. Hurt. Confused. 

“For me?” You ask. Your voice rises. “You killed my best friend for me?” 

“For us.” She urges. “Don’t you see - there’s no distractions anymore. No one else. No one is going to take you from me.” 

She’s moving closer again. You don’t want her near you. You eye the door, move before she can stop you. 

“YN!” 

You run. Blood rushing in your ears. 

She calls your name again, but you don’t look back. The front door is locked, so you sprint for the back. You can’t think straight, can’t trust your own emotions. So you trust your instincts. 

Run. Run. Run. 

You reach the door, fumble with the handle. Your heart in your throat. You twist it madly, but it doesn’t budge. 

“Come on!” You cry out. You twist again, but it’s too late. 

You feel her hands on your waist as she grabs you. 

You struggle against her, screaming. The sheer force knocks you both over. You scramble up, trying to stand but she’s too quick.  Her hands wrap tight around your waist, pulling you back down to her. She grabs your wrists, holds them tight over your head as she climbs on top of you. 

“Get off me!” You cry, but she doesn’t. Squeezes you down tighter. 

Wild eyes stare down at you. Her eyes, usually the softest brown, are wide, saucer like. Her eyebrows knit together as she pleads.  

“Please, baby, stop.” She begs. “It’s me. It’s just me.” 

She’s smaller than you, but she’s so much stronger. She’s always been stronger than you. It used to be hot, the way she could hold you down with such little effort. Now, it terrifies you. 

You try with all your might to push her off but she only grips tighter. A frustrated sob emerges from your lips. She presses you against the floor. You feel her lips on your forehead as she shushes you.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” She says, voice so tender you almost forget she has you trapped in a vice grip. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“Then let me go.” You wail. Your body goes limp. There’s no point in struggling. She’s too strong. “Please, Tara, just let me go.” 

“I can’t do that, baby.” She says. Her voice soft, almost apologetic, “I love you.” 

You whimper, pathetically. Your mind whirls, going a mile a minute. There’s no way out, you realize. She’s stronger than you. She’s faster than you. And she’s hopelessly and desperately in love with you. She’ll never let you go. 

Your breathing evens out. 

“I love you.” She says again, voice barely above a whisper. 

Her breath is hot, against your mouth. You shudder. She presses her lips to your cheek. Nuzzles her nose into your neck. 

“I love you.” 

Her lips press into your neck. A hot jolt of energy sparks between your legs. Even now, after everything she’s done you can’t help but want her. You start to cry again. 

She tilts herself up. Looks at you, really looks at you. 

Gone is the manic, crazy killer who just chased you down a hallway and stuck a knife in your best friend. Her eyes are wide, that soft, sweet brown they always are. 

There she is. Your first love. Your high school sweetheart. The girl who had taken your virginity. Tara. Your sweet girlfriend, Tara. 

“I love you.” She whispers, a final time. Your heartbeat slows, steady. Your eyes flicker down to her lips. She notices. 

She lingers above you only a moment, before she leans down and captures your lips. 

Heat flushes to your cheeks. Butterflies erupt in your chest.

Warm, warm, warm. 

Is all you feel. 

You groan into her mouth. Confusion flashes through you once again. 

“Stop.” You murmur against her lips. Soft. Half-hearted, like you don’t mean it. She pulls back. 

“Stop?” She asks. Voice low. Like she knows what you’re going to say. 

Your breath hitches. Her hands loosen their grip on your wrists. Her weight on top of you suddenly feels erotic. 

“Don’t stop.” You whisper, and she claims your lips once again. 

Your kisses build, feverish. Desperate. A mesh of lips and teeth and tongue. You loop your hands through her hair, pull her tight against you. 

Her hands loop under your shirt, tug at your jeans. You pull hers off first, wanting her hot and naked against you, groaning at the heat of her skin against your own. 

All thoughts of Chase are gone as you slip your hands into her underwear. She’s wet already, gasps as you circle her clit. You press warm kisses to her jaw. 

She presses you back onto the floor. Tugs your underwear down your legs. Her fingers dip down to your heat. 

“Tara.” You gasp. She nuzzles herself into your neck. Presses, wet, sloppy kisses down your jawline. Her fingers brush your clit before she sinks her fingers inside you. 

She groans. Kisses you deep. 

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight. So wet.”

“Tara.” You gasp. Her fingers curl inside you, her thumb rubbing gently over your clit. She kisses you again. Works her fingers deeper into you. 

“Does that feel good, baby?” She asks. Her voice is graveled, thick with want. You moan out as she hits just the right spot. 

“You like that? You like my fingers inside you?” 

You nod, madly, clawing at her back, trying to pull her closer. 

“I like it too, baby. It’s my favorite thing in the world. I’d do anything to be inside you.” 

Her eyes are black, hazy, lust filled. You kiss her deeply. 

“I’d kill everybody in this town before they’d take you away from me.” She says, eyes wild. “I’d kill everybody in the world. You belong to me.” 

You moan. 

“Tell me.” She says, “Tell me who you belong to.” 

“You, baby.” You gasp. 

“That's right. All mine. Every inch of you.” She growls. Her hand movements are steady. Angry. Pounding into you. Your hips jerk with each thrust, your cheeks red. 

“Nobody else is going to touch you. Not ever. I’m the only one who gets to do this.” She says. Her eyes are starting to blacken again, jealous at the thought of somebody else sinking inside you. 

“No one else.” You pant. “I promise.” 

She growls, takes a nipple in her mouth. Bites down hard. Her fingers drive into your pussy. 

You moan her name. It relaxes her a little. She slows her pace, dipping down to kiss down your stomach. She nuzzles against your thigh, lovingly. 

“Who can blame them?” She says. She reaches up to touch your face, presses a gentle kiss to your belly. Her fingers pump in and out at a steady pace. Her fingers coated in your wetness. “My perfect girl. Always so beautiful. Who wouldn’t want you? I want you all the time.” 

She dips down, presses kisses to the tops of your thighs, rhythm steady as she fucks you. A low moan escapes from your mouth as she licks a long stripe down your center, stopping momentarily to wrap her lips around your clit. 

Your thighs clench around her head but she keeps your legs pried open. She sucks you only a moment before she’s grinning up at you, debauched, slipping a third finger inside your dripping cunt. 

“I wish I could spend every waking moment inside this gorgeous pussy. Always so pretty and tight and wet for me.  Always throbbing around my fingers. Squeezing. Trying to keep me in you, isn’t that right?” 

Her eyes gleam. Her pretty red lips sticky with your arousal. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you, baby? You’d like me to be in you all the time.” 

“Yes.” You groan. 

“Dirty girl.” She chides. Her head dips down again, and you throw your head back as she sucks on your clit, hard. 

She releases you after a moment. Lips back on your thighs, fingers pummeling up into your g-spot. 

Your stomach coils. She sucks on your thigh leisurely, her fingers slamming into you with no mercy. 

“Mine.” She says. “Say it.” 

“Yours. All yours.” 

Her arms grip tight around your waist. She licks her way up your length, not stopping the force of her fingers. 

You throb around her, so close. She presses kisses to your thighs as she works you to the edge. 

“You going to come for me, baby?” She murmurs, lips on your clit, “Good girl. That’s it, sweetheart. Come in my mouth.” 

She sucks your clit, hard, and you topple over the edge. 

Your back arches. You let out a low groan as your orgasm washes over you. She works you though it, lovingly sucking, her fingers curled. 

You slump back onto the floor as she presses kisses to your belly. She keeps her fingers in you as she leans up, kisses you so tenderly. 

“Good girl.” She murmurs. You sigh into her mouth. You can taste yourself on her lips. It’s intoxicating. She presses a kiss to your neck. 

Draws her fingers out of you. You whine. She smiles, sucks you off her fingertips. 

“Don’t worry baby.” She murmurs. Brushes a lock of hair off your sweaty forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Your heart beat slows. She shuffles herself off you.

Wraps herself tight around your waist, drawing you into her. 

Your eyes draw to the robes of the floor. The mask. The dagger. Chase is here somewhere, dead in another room. And you just fucked his killer. 

Shame floods through you. Your body tenses. She can sense it. She turns you in her arms, pulls you into her bare chest. 

“Shh. Don’t look, baby.” She coos. “I’ll clean it up.” 

“He’s dead.” You say. More monotone than anything. In the last thirty minutes you’ve felt every possible emotion you could ever feel. You’ve cried every last tear. You’ve fought and struggled and lost against your own desires. You’re exhausted. 

“It’s alright, babe.” She senses your resignation. Presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “Now it’s just you and me. The way it should be.” 

She tilts your face up to hers. You let her press a kiss to your lips. Close your eyes. 

“I’m all yours, baby.” She says. “And you’re mine. Forever.”  

You nod, slowly. 

She is, there’s no point in denying it. 

Next part

[gretavangroupie]

Vigilance (Chapter 10)

Word count: 22.6k

Pairings: Sam x Reader, Jake x OC

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon. Please go show her some love!

STRANGE HORIZONS:NASHVILLE

ONE DAY BEFORE SHOW

JAKE POV

This is how it always was the day before tour. Josh barking orders at everyone, Sam waiting until the last second to do everything that should have been done weeks ago, Daniel trying to satisfy Josh’s requests, and you, sitting back watching all of it unfold from the comfort of the broken-in leather couch. The office was buzzing with crew and staff working to make sure everything was packed away correctly and not a thing was left behind. Old friends reuniting, anxious for another leg of tour to begin.

Tensions were high, as they so usually were before you left for a show. Packing up an entire band was no small task, and you weren’t sure why they always waited until the day before to do it.  You were especially wound up today, still reeling from the events over the last few days. You still hadn’t made amends with Sam, but you knew you would today. You had to. You couldn’t start tour off on a bad note, right?

You watched until you noticed his tasks being steadily checked off the list one by one, and when he found himself ready to take a break, you knew you had your chance. You grabbed two beers from the cooler and walked back over to meet him on the couch. You extended the bottle out to him, and his eyes met yours as he took it. It’s a start. 

You sat down next to him, twisting the lid off of the bottle as you relaxed into the seat. “Can I talk to you for a few minutes Sammy boy?” you asked, hoping that using his nickname would help soften the mood he was in.

“Looks like you already are…” he replied with a gentle smirk.

You took a pull from the lip of the bottle, letting the cold liquid calm your nerves. 

“Sam… I’m…really sorry about everything I said the other day. I was completely out of line to say those things to you. I’m not trying to make excuses here, I know I fucked up, but after everything with Sophia, I just… unleashed on you. I didn’t mean it. I really am sorry. I get it if you need more time, I just… I’ve been thinking about you the past couple of days and I just want you to know I love you. I don’t think you’re a fuck up. I’m really proud of you. For everything. Really.” you rambled nervously.

He took a sip of his beer, trying to conceal the smile on his lips as he replied, “I missed you too. You had a couple low blows in there, but it's all in the name of brotherhood right? Also, I love you too.” he laughs, placing a forceful hand on your shoulder. “Phew, glad we got our yearly I love you out of the way, huh? Early this year…” he jokes. 

There he is. There's your Sammy.

You held your beer up, clicking the glass bottle with his, “Until next year…” you toast. He laughs and looks over to Daniel, wrapping up some cording with velcro. 

“You’re right, you know,” he adds. 

“About?” you ask.

“Her. You know, if she was… with me and everything. It would have been the biggest fuck up ever. Monumental.” he said, turning to look at you.  “The first time we ever slept together we talked right before…made sure this wasn’t going to turn into something else, because neither of us wanted that. I think really, we just wanted to feel close to each other again. Both of us made it very clear that there weren’t any feelings involved. It was just purely sex with someone we loved and trusted. No feelings involved. That’s all it ever was, Jake. I haven't had feelings like that for her in years. Is she gorgeous? Of course. Have I always wanted to sleep with her? Well, yeah. But I’d never steal your girl Jake... I’ve always known who her heart belongs to.” he says.

You swallow harshly, really taking in everything he’s saying. “It’s just… hard to watch, you know?” you ask.

“I know. But it’s not something I thought we should keep from you. I feel like that would have only made it worse when you did find out.” he replies. “Also… I’m really sorry about Sophia… I can’t believe she was doing that. I can’t believe we saw her. You should have seen Y/N when she spotted her in the restaurant. She was hysteric for a second.”

“I would’ve been, too. Things had been a little rocky between us the past few weeks. She was acting different…And you know what? I’m happy to be free of her, feel like I can breathe again.” you say, swigging your beer. 

“I guess I’m just sorry everything played out the way it did. We just felt like you needed to know, and we wanted to tell you in person. I didn’t expect it to be such a disaster.” he says.

“It’s partially my fault, as soon as she started in on you I should have told her to leave. I am so embarrassed at the things she said to you. To Y/N. I wasn’t sure she was ever going to talk to me again. I wouldn’t blame her.” you sigh. 

“You know she… she listened. Finally.” he said.

What?

“What do you mean? Listened to what?” you asked.

“Our music… did she not tell you?” he asked.

“No, tell me what?” you asked, genuinely confused. 

“Up until about a week ago, she had never listened to any of our recorded music. The last thing she ever heard from us was the Black Smoke EP.” he said.

Shock coursed through your body. “What? Why?”

Had she really never heard? Every song you wrote for her, fell upon ears that wouldn’t understand. The lyrics you wrote to her, begging her to come back to you… she never heard them?

“Well, to put it simply, she couldn’t handle it. Emotionally, mentally… Think about it Jake. Would you want to listen to your ex play love songs about you?” he asked.

“No, but… not one song? Not a single song, in the past what, three, four years?” you asked, trying to wrap your head around it.

“She said she heard Safari Song in the grocery store once, but she turned around and walked out because it struck a nerve she wasn’t ready to tend to yet.” he said.

“So… she listened though… last week? Why now?” you asked.

“She said her boss assigned it to her, since we are under UMG. She listened to everything…she came over to my house after.” he stopped.

“Was she….” you started.

“Was she okay? No…She was a wreck Jake. I think you know that. Practically inconsolable for a while. She had a feeling about one in particular… but she couldn’t even ask.” he said, eyes cast down to the floor as he replayed the memory.

“So…she listened…to it...” you asked.

His eyes flicked up to yours, “Yeah. She did. About killed her I think. She wanted to know… if it was about her.” he paused, pushing his hands through his hair. “How sad is that, Jake? For her to even think for a second that it wasn’t. I told her of course it was about her. I told her they all were. I think she wanted to crawl into a hole and die right there.”

“How could she think they were about anyone else?” you whispered.

“She was pretty bad off there for a while, but I got her through it. Me and a bottle of wine, well almost two. She’s proud of us though, man. She loved it, I could tell she loved it. It spoke to her, just like we always wanted. We actually did it.” he said with a smile.  “I wanted to cry, I was just so relieved she liked it...It felt– felt like it was all worth it. All those years… I missed her a lot. I know it was different for you, but you know, she was my best friend. I needed her too.” he says. 

You were so busy feeling sorry for yourself back then that you never really stopped to consider that Sam lost his best friend. You were so cruel to him, to everyone really. Just a miserable person for a while. If you had known then what you know now….

“Anyways, you should talk to her about it someday. If you can. I know it's still touchy for you.” he adds.

“I will one day Sam. I’ll make it count. Thank you…for… talking to her about it. I know it probably wasn’t easy for you either.” you smiled.

“Anything for you brother,” he replied.

You both finished off your beers as you scrolled through your phones, waiting for Josh to finish up on his tirade about organization. 

“Hey, she will be here in about 10 minutes, so make sure you have your shit done!” Josh called out through the office, everyone agreeing and finishing up their tasks.

“Who?” Danny asked.

“The tour coordinator… someone new this time, I think you’ll like her.” he replied with a smirk.

Fuck. She’s coming? Today? You were not prepared to see her until you absolutely had to, tomorrow.

“You good? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Sam joked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Hey I saw this the other day at a vintage shop, thought of you. Thought you might like it.” you say, opening your camera roll. You scroll through your pictures from that day, trying to find the one you took to show him. An old 60’s Sunburst Fender Acoustic. It had his name written all over it. 

“Hey woah, what was that?” he says, swiping out of your photo.

“What?” you say, pulling your phone away from him.

“I swear I just…” he said, reaching over your arms, tapping on the photo of Y/N you received the other night.

“Oh my god. It is her.” he says, shocked. “How do you have that?” 

You close out of it before anyone else sees, “Will you shut the hell up before one of them comes over here asking questions.”

“Sorry. But seriously�� Why do you have that? Did you hack into my phone?” he asks.

“Hack into your phone? What? No? She… sent it to me. The other night. Completely unprompted.” you answer quietly, a smirk on your face. 

“She sent it to you?” he asks, shock written across his face.

“Yes, Sam… for the second time. She sent it to me.” you reply.

“Well that’s interesting because she sent it to me, too.” he said matter-of-factly.

“The same one?” you asked.

“Exact same. We were…talking… it was the natural progression of the conversation but it came late…I thought she fell asleep.” he said. “Wait…what time did she send that to you?”

“Uh….” you said opening your text threads, and checking the time stamp. “10:46pm” you answered. 

He dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and opening his texts, his eyes widening as he reached the photo. “Oh my god. I think…I think she sent it to you instead of me, by accident. Mine didn’t come until 11:26.” he said. “She must have panicked when she realized and sent it to me when she figured it out. Wait, what time did you text her back?” 

“11:24…”

Panic sweeps through your body as you realize what he is saying. Were they…sexting? Was that really meant for him? A chill sweeps through your body as you put the pieces together. It would explain the situation. It was completely unprompted, and her not answering your reply suddenly started to make sense. 

“Well, Sam… Here I was thinking she…No, nevermind. I suppose that explains why she didn’t reply.” you sigh.

“Oh god, she didn’t reply?” he asked.

“No, but she read it. Stayed up late just in case too…Stupid.” you said, shaking your head.

“Has she spoken to you since?” he asked.

“We don’t exactly talk Sam…” you replied.

“Oh it was totally an accident. I bet she is—wow. I will have to ask her about it.” he says.

“No the fuck you will not. Let it go Sam, I am so serious.” you threatened.

“Okay, sheesh…” he says, pulling away from your grip on his arm. “It is a hot pic though isn’t it?” he jokes.

“Shut the fuck up Sam, I will end your life right here.” you say through gritted teeth.

He laughs as you hear the beep of the security system, as someone opens the front door. You both turned to look at the door, and saw her walking in, looking stunning as ever.

“Oh my god, it’s like she heard us talking about her…What is she doing here?” he asks.

Does he not know?

Her eyes meet yours only for a second before quickly looking away. Okay so she is feeling some type of nervousness about being here.

Josh rushes over to greet her, thanking her for coming in at the last minute.

“Hey!” he yells, getting everyone's attention. “I know some of us know each other, but for those of you who don’t this is Y/N. She works with Collective and is going to be our coordinator and liaison for this tour. She’s gonna be on the road with us for a bit. She’s an absolute star and I know you all will love her so make sure you welcome her with open arms and show her how we do things around here!” he says, smiling.

You watch as Sam and Danny shoot looks towards each other, then to Josh as they comprehend what he’s said.

“That being said, I will turn it over to you, I’m sure you have things to tell us to get this party started.” he smiles at her. 

You couldn’t help the chuckle that came from your chest as you watched Josh so happily introduce her. She was beaming. You had to admit, even though part of you wanted to kill Josh for this arrangement, you couldn’t wait to watch her do her thing, but more importantly you couldn’t wait for her to watch you do yours.

She began to pass out paperwork to everyone, her eyes flicking to yours for a millisecond as she handed you your paper, before turning her attention back to the rest of the room.

You could see something behind her eyes. You couldn’t place it, but you knew it. You’d seen it before. 

“Hi everyone! I am really looking forward to working with all of you over the next few months, but before we go over everything I just want you all to know that if you ever have any questions or concerns, or even a request you can ask me, call me, text me… whatever is easiest for you. I will help you the best way that I can.” she says, directing her attention to the group of roadies huddled by the door. 

“The paper I just gave to all of you outlines the accommodations for the Nashville show starting tomorrow. Your transportation, lodging and meal information should all be on there, specific to each one of you. Again, if you have any questions you can come to me.” she says with a smile.

The chattering in the background irks you. Are they even listening to her?

She continues to talk about the schedule for tomorrow, everything laid out right there on paper. As she makes her way through each bullet point you hear the crew still talking behind you.

“Hey boys, let’s listen up.” you say shooting them a stern look.

They quiet down immediately, returning their focus back to her. Her eyes flash over to yours, in a silent thank you. You nod your head ever so slightly.

You listen intently as she talks about the venue set up, soundcheck, and the time tables that will need to be followed, your eyes never leaving her for a second. To be honest you heard every word she said but your mind was elsewhere. Back in Michigan, swimming and laughing. 

Everyone thanking her snapped you from your daydream. Suddenly people were approaching her, meeting her and introducing themselves. She handled the crew and staff like she had done it a thousand times before. Maybe she had? 

“You gonna talk to her, or are you just gonna stare at her?” Sam asks.

You blow a breath out, leaning back into the couch, “I don’t know… I don’t know what I’d say. Just gonna give her some time. If she wants to talk to me, she will.” you reply.

“I cannot believe she is our coordinator.” He says, shaking his head.

“You’ve met Josh right? Meddling son of a bitch.” you laugh.

“Yeah, you’re right.” he laughs. “You pack yet?”

“Fuck no. Gonna do it when we’re done here.” you answer, standing up from the couch.

“Oh my god. We get to play for her.” he says, eyes wide with realization.

“Samuel, I am begging you to not say every thought that goes through your head.” you say with a sigh.

He smirks, walking off to meet her side.

Fuck. Not only will this be your first tour in a few years, but now she will be there watching?

You hadn’t fully considered that yet. You weren’t sure you were ready to think about it. You pushed the thought from your mind as you made your way over to Josh.

“I still can’t believe you did this…” you say with a fake smile.

“Everything is going to be fine. Great even. Watch and see.” he smirks.

“We done here?” you ask.

“I think so, what time do we have to be here in the morning?” he asks.

You pull the folded paper from your back pocket, reading out the travel details, “Says the van will pick us up here at 7:00 am. So… should we just meet at my place and ride over here together? Or Sam’s?” you ask.

“Let’s do yours.” he answers.

“You gonna be on time?” you laugh.

“Of course not.” he laughs, walking away, holding his thumb and pinky up to his ear, indicating he would call you later. 

You shook your head, walking over to Danny, telling him the plans, before you started to make your way out. You clapped him on the back as you stepped away, “Tell Sam, alright?” 

He nods his head as you turn to make your way to the door. 

You scan the room one last time, eyes catching hers for a brief moment before you slipped out into the humid evening.

—

Your suitcase sat packed by the front door ready to go, after sitting for months in the closet practically untouched. Usually you looked forward to tour, the swirling of anxious energy in your stomach just before you left. The bright vibrant energy filling your body just before you took the stage. Playing live in front of a crowd was what kept you going. Recharging your battery each night as you watched them react to the music that flowed from your fingertips. You craved it. You needed it.  But tonight you didn’t have that feeling. You were nervous. Jittery. Anxious. 

You sipped the remnants from the glass in your hand trying to calm those nerves. A lowball glass filled with scotch was sure to do the trick, as you sat back and watched the rain hit the windows in your study. The wet drops rolling down to collect on the sill in large puddles. You placed the now empty glass on the table, grabbing your guitar from the stand as you strummed the old worn in strings. You let your mind drift off as you played, trying to process everything that happened today.

An accident. A mistake. How foolish of you to believe that that photo was meant for you. Of course it was for Sam. She’d never sent you anything like that before... Why would she start now? 

And how stupid of you to reply. You should have known it wasn’t meant for you when she didn’t reply. You stayed up all night waiting for it…There was a reason it never came. As if things weren't awkward enough after the fight with Sam… this just made it worse.

Now you had to spend the next several weeks with her, pretending that it never happened and acting like you don’t remember every detail of the picture... The image of her body burned into your brain.

Was she as embarrassed as you were? You would be working with her in extremely close quarters for weeks…You really didn’t want things to be awkward… Should you talk to her about it? 

No. Just let it go... It will pass, right?

Finally feeling the alcohol settling into your bloodstream, you began to relax. You placed the guitar back on the stand, and made your way to your bedroom. It was late, and you knew you had to be up in a few hours to get ready to go. You pulled your shirt over your head, and kicked your pants to the floor, before crawling into the comfort of your own bed for the last time for the next few weeks. You never did sleep so well in a bed that wasn’t your own.

You set your alarm, and placed your phone on the nightstand, flicking the switch on your lamp, leaving the room completely dark. You let a sigh leave your chest as you relaxed into your pillows, drifting off to sleep quickly with the help of the scotch and the patter of rain on the windows.

—

NIGHT ONE

HER POV

You were already awake when your alarm went off promptly at 6:00 am, your nerves keeping you only half-asleep all night. The first day of tour. You were excited, but the anxiousness was creeping into your bones and making itself at home. You’d gone over the itinerary a hundred times before bed, and a hundred more times while you tried to fall asleep. Meeting times, rider copies, map locations, hotel confirmations…your brain felt fried already, and you hadn’t even left yet. You were thankful Allison had given you everything you needed to have accomplished on a nice organized checklist, making your life a bit easier. 

You drug yourself from your bed and into your bathroom to take a quick shower. You’d already picked out your outfit for the day, some dark wash jeans and a simple top. Cute but professional. You’d be meeting everyone at the office to load the van in exactly one hour.  

While you rushed around your home chugging coffee and gathering essentials, you thought about Jake, and how his eyes had met yours for the briefest of moments yesterday. You were still so embarrassed and ashamed, but you had to keep on a happy face for the sake of your job. This was no time to let your emotions show through. You had a lot to accomplish, and proving yourself was at the top of your list. 

—

You arrived at the office with fifteen minutes to spare, giving you ample time to run over everything again. You grabbed all your things from your trunk, and packed them into the crew van before you checked in with the driver. You brought out your iPad checklist and made yourself a few notes and reminders. Cars began to fill up the lot and roadies and crew members began to unload their things. No one had presented you with questions yet, thank goodness. Deep breaths, all is well so far. You checked the time, 6:55. Perfect. 

After a quick headcount of everyone riding in the van, you finally began to feel a bit more at ease. Thankfully, Allison had given you the tip to always lock in early hotel check-ins. ‘They’re always late for everything...leave yourselves time to spare.’  Fortunately, you’d known that fact since you were kids. 

You finally saw Jake’s car pulling into the lot a whopping fifteen minutes late. All four of them piling out of the vehicle to unload their bags. 7:15... Not too shabby. They walked over to the vans with sleep still in their eyes, except Josh, of course. He was always a morning person. He took you in an immediate embrace, placing his positive and comforting energy directly onto your skin. How did he always know exactly when to do that? 

“First day, big day! You ready?” He asked in your ear, not letting you go until you answered. He smelled like patchouli with a hint of hibiscus and vanilla. You took a second to breathe, letting his familiar scent calm your nerves.

“I think so, Joshy. I hope.” He released you after a big squeeze, his long curls flowing in the early morning breeze. He gave you a reassuring smile. “Killing it already, hot stuff.” 

You did notice Jake seemed a bit more chipper than he usually was at this hour. He didn’t have his normal dark circles and sullen face…instead he looked bright-eyed and anxious. The rest of the guys made their way over to you. Sam brought his hand to his brow, playfully saluting. 

“Samuel Francis Kiszka, bass and keys, reporting for duty. My name should be first on the list in the VIP section. I’m actually in the band.” He glanced and pointed to your iPad, typing his fingers erratically causing your screen to go wild. 

“Stop it Sam, geez!” You laughed. “Get in the van.”

He clicked his tongue and gave you a wink. 

“Morning sunshine, ready to kick ass today?” Danny said through a warm smile, showing all his teeth. 

“Let’s hope so,” you returned his sweet smile. 

“You got it, no question.” He reassured you. 

Lastly came Jake. He brought his eyes to meet yours, and you felt every nerve ending explode with embarrassment all over again. He gave you a curt half-smile and nodded his head, climbing into the van without a word. His cheeks had pinkened a little, and you were sure yours had done the same. Awkward. So awkward. 

After everyone was loaded up and accounted for, you made sure no one had any questions, and you climbed into the front seat of the crew van. You felt an overwhelming sense of nervousness and relief at the same time. You’d attack this day step by step. These guys were all professionals and had done this song and dance a million times. It was their world, and you were just orchestrating it. 

——

Checking into the hotel proved to be a simpler task than you anticipated, getting everyone their key cards and on their way to their rooms going very smoothly. You knew that you had to get them to the venue for sound check as quickly as possible so once you figured they had enough time to settle, you sent a group text asking them to meet you in the lobby. It was a very short ride to the venue, and you were excited to be behind the scenes and have access to everything that happened backstage. 

You watched as everything was unloaded from the trucks and brought inside the amphitheater. It was amazing to watch the crew work like a well-oiled machine quickly putting up the stage and equipment in record speed. Though this was the first show back in a while, they all worked well as a team setting up the new stage equipment just like the guys envisioned. 

You were rushing around like a crazy person, answering phone calls, replying to tons of texts, checking to make sure the riders were fulfilled, and trying to keep Allison updated with everything. So far, so good. Eight hours until openers. 

“Guys, the stage is set. You wanna come see?” You asked the four of them as they gathered around a makeshift coffee table full of lunch items. Their eyes lit up, ready to see the stage they’d dreamt of for months finally brought to life. 

You led them around the small corridors of the beautiful outdoor venue, and into the pit area. They erupted in astounded cheers seeing it all put together. You grabbed your walkie-talkie and radioed to the light booth. “Randy, can we hit the lights?” You asked. A few seconds later, a voice came over the radio. “Sure thing.”  The main spot lights came on and illuminated the stage in a beautiful and clean white light, showing off the lighted platforms and spires that lined the backdrop. They fell into ‘ooo’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ in unison as they took it all in. 

“Holy shit, it’s perfect!” Josh proclaimed. 

“Yeah guys, yes!” Sam yelled to the crew. They all clapped and cheered, and ran onto the stage to begin checking their sound. Relief. You knew it would be even more perfect once it got dark outside. 

You took a second to run backstage and collect yourself, use the restroom, and grab something to eat as you knew the rest of the day was going to be even more chaotic. You checked in with craft services to see that everything was refilled for the crew, now that they were done with their part. You relaxed on a couch for a free second, ignoring your buzzing phone and nagging notifications. You could hear the low droning sound of their instruments coming together, as they jumped into a song you didn’t quite recognize off the bat. It still sounded beautiful and haunting even from this far away. You closed your eyes and took in the moment, feeling pride overtake your mind as you listened to your best friends fulfill their dream. After a few grounding moments, you decided to check your phone and emails again.

An hour or so passed, and you noticed the music had stopped. You stood up to stretch and checked the time, not realizing how long you’d been lost in your phone. You began to meander around the backstage area again, when you were caught by a pair of familiar hands pulling you behind a trailer, out of sight. 

“Samuel, what are you doing!” You whispered loudly. 

“Nothing, just wanted to say hello properly. I haven’t gotten to tell you how good you look taking care of all of us like this.” He pinned your back to the trailer, and glanced around, checking that the coast was clear. Then he brought his lips to your neck, lightly kissing and nudging you. 

“I love watching you in your element...it’s very attractive.” he whispered in your ear between pecks. 

“Sam…be careful...there’s people everyw-” he cut you off, placing his lips on yours.

“Shhh...there’s no one around. Trust me. Do you trust me?” He glanced around again. 

You nodded, reluctantly. You felt very out of place, letting him do this in such a manner in broad daylight, but god, his lips on your neck and his hands pinning you down was driving you wild. He had a knack for melting you into a puddle, that was for sure. 

He immediately licked into your mouth, hot and sweet with just the tiniest taste of tequila on his lips. He brought his leg up to spread your knees apart, positioning himself so your core rested on his upper thigh. He pressed his body into you, sending a shockwave of pleasure through you, even from the slightest contact. You kissed him back hard, just now realizing how starved you’ve been for him without even noticing it. Your mind had been elsewhere lately. 

“That photo you sent the other night...I can’t get it off my mind. You looked so sexy...God I wanted you so bad...” he trailed off, pressing harder against you. “You want me to send you something?” 

You nodded again. “Mhmm...yes please.” you said into his mouth, biting his lip. 

“I’ll see what I can come up with...” he said, pulling away. He began to back off, adjusting himself in his pants. He glanced around again, making sure the coast was still clear. “Silence my notifications, and change my name in your phone.” He said with a wink, and he was gone. 

What? Change his name? Why? Did he know about the photo accident? 

—

You headed back around to the main gathering area backstage after collecting yourself for a few minutes. Hot and bothered was an understatement. 

“Y/N! Hey, I’d like you to meet someone.” Josh said as you entered the trailer. “This is Summer. She’s going to be our photographer!” 

“Oh my god, hey! It’s so nice to meet you finally! I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet before, things have been chaotic.” You reached out to shake her hand. Summer was gorgeous. Tan, slender, and blonde with cute features and the prettiest blue eyes that hid behind thin wire glasses. She had a bright and friendly smile as she returned your handshake. 

“Hey! So nice to meet you! I’m so excited to be here.” she said. 

“I’ll leave you two to chat.” Josh said, taking off in the other direction.

“Let me show you around?” You asked, walking towards the stage. 

“Yes, let’s go!” She grabbed her camera bag and you were off. You showed her around the venue and made sure she had her all access media and crew pass. 

“The guys will want you to be around basically all the time, backstage and all. They’re really easy to get along with, which I’m sure you noticed meeting Josh.” You said. 

“Yes, actually! He introduced me to the band. Everyone seems really nice! This is my third time going on a tour with a band, so I’m really starting to get my footing I think. I’m really excited to work with you guys!” She admitted. 

“Well, they picked you for a reason. I saw some of your work, it’s fantastic. You’ll do just fine.” You reassured her with a smile, which she returned. You walked her around the grounds a bit more, showing her the areas you’d be occupying most and introducing her to people here and there. By the time you made it back, she had told you her life story in its entirety and you were already beginning to tune out the sound of her voice. She was sweet, but…

“So, this might sound forward but, are all of them…single?” She asked without an ounce of shyness in her voice. It took you by surprise. 

“Umm, well… Sort of. Danny has a girlfriend but, the rest, yeah. Basically. I try not to keep up with their personal lives too much.” 

Lie. 

“Cool okay. I just didn’t want to, you know… Be weird about anything. Spending all this time together and all.” She replied, talking with her hands.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, no I get that. For sure.”

“But, the quieter one with sunglasses, he plays guitar I think?” She rambled. 

“Jake.” You said stoically. 

“Yeah, Jake. He is fine. Made my heart skip a beat when he shook my hand. You know what I mean? I’ve always liked the brooding ones. The type you’d climb like a tre-”

“Summer. I get it... But remember you’re here to take photos and that’s it. Okay?” You felt yourself get an attitude at her lack of professionalism this early in the game. It had only been half an hour and you were already starting to be irked by her presence.

“Jake is very professional and likes to keep himself focused. He doesn’t allow himself much time for things like that.” you add, hoping she would take the hint.

Saved by the bell, your walkie talkie beeped with a request for you to go to the stage. “I’ve gotta go, good luck tonight!” You waved to Summer and left before she could get another nerve-grinding word out. 

You approached the stage and were motioned back to the sound booth technician. 

“Hey! We need our copies of the setlists! Almost forgot.” The woman laughed. 

“Yes! I have them on my hard drive. I will bring them right to you.” You replied, rushing off to backstage, mad at yourself for forgetting to do that before you left the office. Luckily you had a portable printer installed in the crew trailer. 

You printed off ten copies of the list, and read through it on your way back to the sound booth. 

Wow, it was so strange seeing the names of all these songs that you’d just now become familiar with, the songs that were basically their children. You knew they were playing a few of these live for the first time tonight, and a whole new wave of nerves hit you like a freight train. You were so excited for them. So excited for their fans. 

A few more hours passed, and you’d decided to join the guys for a little chat before things got hectic. They were all hanging around outside, warming up on acoustics and pre-gaming with seltzers and shots. They were all beaming with nerves, Josh and Sam hopping around expelling their pent-up agitation while Danny drummed on anything he could find. Jake sat comfortably in a lounge chair, feet up, strumming a quiet tune and watching his brothers in their natural states. He was so…attractive. 

“Josh, why are you dressed already? You’re going to spill something on your suit!” You said, surprised. His outfit for tonight was a white jumpsuit with blue and green applique feathers, and it fit him like a glove. Tiny rhinestones caught the light as he jumped around, causing him to sparkle in the afternoon sun.

“Oh, love. I always do this. Sorry, but I get ready way too early. It’s just a…thing I do.” He threw his hands up, unable to elaborate any more. “But I make it a point to only drink clear liquids! I promise.” 

You nodded nervously, wanting to cover him up with a jacket, a bib…something. 

You peeked around to the front of the venue, seeing that hoards of people had started to gather at the gates. You checked your phone. 

Allison 5:55pm: Almost time to get them dressed! Hope all is going well! 

You 5:59pm: All is great! Thanks!

You took another few minutes, shooting texts to the other coordinators and radioing to check in with security. You couldn’t believe you’d gotten this far in the day without any major hiccups, and you were thankful. Maybe you could do this… You were doing this. 

You glanced toward Jake, who was sitting naturally still strumming along and sipping something from a paper cup. You covertly watched as Summer made her way over to sit beside him, giving him all of her attention as she snapped a few photos, while likely telling him a story about something he cared nothing about. Just from the short time you spent with her, you knew she was going to be a great photographer, but inevitably get on everyone’s nerves. 

Get away from him, he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s trying to get in his zone. 

But to your surprise, you watched as he tilted his head back and laughed a hearty laugh, scrunching his nose up and giggling at whatever she was saying. She laughed too, leaning into him and quickly putting her hand to his thigh. 

Oh really? 

You scoffed under your breath and crossed your arms. She then pointed to his guitar, and began to ask him questions. It looked like he was explaining the guitar parts to her, while she watched him intently, all the while moving closer and closer to him, touching him any chance she got. 

Doesn’t she have photos to take or something?

Suddenly, Sam was in front of your face, “Hey. You gonna nip that in the bud, or should I?” he asked motioning back to Summer and Jake with a head tilt. It shook you from the raging fire of jealousy growing in your chest. 

You stood up quickly, clapping your hands together, “Alright guys, time to get dressed!” You announced, and they all began to excitedly make their way toward the trailer. You saw Summer look back toward you as Jake exited her bubble. 

“You can sit this part out, Summer.” You said. 

“And you get to watch them get changed? Lucky girl…” she said with a smirk. 

You decided to not respond to that, and climbed the steps to the front door, closing it hard behind you. 

—

After a few minutes, they were all dressed and ready to go...7:45 on the dot. Their openers had already begun their sets, filling the arena with sound. You stood in the trailer, and watched their stylist stand back and admire the art of the designer. Their outfits truly were a sight, all custom made to fit their visions.

The crew exited the trailer, leaving just you and the guys. Sam immediately felt comfortable enough to bring you in for a giant hug. “Errghhhh you did so great today! How are you feeling? Ready for the grand finale?” 

You hugged him back, finally feeling alone enough with them to be your true self, “Yes, my job’s almost over. It’s your turn now.” You responded with a giggle. 

Just then, Danny and Josh came and joined the hug, sticking you in the middle as they piled around one another. You glanced over and saw Jake standing off to the side, obviously feeling awkward about joining. You bravely raised your finger to him, motioning for him to join in. He wrapped his arms around his brothers as they all rested their heads on one another, taking a second to relish in the moment. 

“My brothers, are we ready to rock and roll?” Josh asked. 

“Never been more ready…” Danny agreed. They all spoke in little sentences of excitement and reassurance, patting each other on the backs and shaking off nerves. Never once letting their heads separate from touching in their circle, with you still directly in the middle. You stood awkwardly, but happy to be included in their embrace. 

“Six brand new songs tonight, fellas. Do we have it?” Josh asked. 

“Yeah we have it, do you have it?” Jake responded. You giggled. 

“Yeah I fuckin’ have it as long as you keep me where I need to be.” Josh relayed. 

“As long as these two assholes keep me where I need to be…” Jake went on. 

“Don’t we always? Daniel and I are perfect...” Sam spat. 

“Sounds like a plan, then. Let’s go do it.” Josh said. 

Suddenly they hugged one another tighter, smashing their heads into yours and bringing your face impossibly close to Jake’s. You felt heat immediately rush to your face as his eyes flitted to yours, and locked there. He offered you the tiniest of smiles before he spoke. 

“Love you guys?” He asked. 

“Love you guys.” They all responded in unison. Then they all separated, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, drowning in emotional surprise. 

“What was that? What was I just part of? Do you do that before every show?” You asked. 

“Only since 2012, love.” Sam said, shooting you another wink as he descended the stairs, his baby blue suit hugging every curve. You felt a swell of admiration creep into your chest. You had gotten to be a part of their pre-show ritual.  

You waited by the door for the guys to file out one by one, Jake stopping beside you at the very end. You noticed the collar of his beautifully embroidered navy blue suit was flipped up, and you instinctively reached to fix it. Your fingers accidentally brushing his neck in the process, sending an immediate and visible chill through him. You swallowed hard as you pulled your hand away from his collar. 

“How do I look?” He asked in a low and gravelly voice, shyly bringing his eyes from the floor to you.  

Before you could stop yourself, you whispered, “Still just as gorgeous as ever.”

His face softened and a smirk played at his lips, just as he turned to catch up with the rest of the guys. 

—

The time had almost come for the guys to take the stage, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t just as nervous as they most likely were. Brand new tour, brand new songs, brand new era…

You knew they would absolutely kill it no matter what, but you were sure the anxiety was still high. The sound of the crowd was almost deafening even this far away, and at an outdoor venue at that. You never imagined there would be this many people. 

Right before they were to head toward backstage, small plastic shot glasses were passed around to the surrounding crew, while Josh had everyone gather for a toast. You took the cup of what smelled like vodka, and raised it into the air. A familiar presence was suddenly by your side, meeting your extended arm with his own. Jake. 

“Thank you all for being here, and making this happen tonight! To Strange Horizons!” Josh yelled above the lull of the screaming crowd. He held his tiny glass up, and everyone joined in with clanking theirs together before shooting the clear liquor. You turned a little toward Jake, as he held his cup up to yours. 

“Cheers, love.” He said, barely tipping his cup to tap yours, raising his eyebrows with the smallest grin.

“Cheers…” was all you could manage through the thick sound of your heart beating in your ears. Love?

He tilted it back and swallowed its contents, and he was gone without another word. You stood there for a second collecting yourself. 

“That shot’s not gonna take itself, babe!” Sam yelled, guiding your hand to bring it to your lips. You let the chilled liquid coat your insides, hoping that it would calm the storm that was brewing inside you. You heard Josh’s voice on the special intro monologue begin, and the crowd erupted in an explosion of screams. 

“There you go...There she is!” Sam shouted as you finished downing the shot. 

He brought his lips close to your ear, “Checked your phone lately?” He pulled away with a wink and a wide smile, and spoke loudly again. “You ready?!” And then he, too, was gone. 

You felt your radio vibrate with sound, and you brought it close to your ear. “Two minutes, two minutes to stage.” your heart rate immediately picking up.

You looked around to make sure everyone was accounted for, and then rushed everyone toward the stage, security and other coordinators in tow. You could feel the energy radiating off of them. They were electric. 

In seconds you found yourself side stage with the guys as they awaited their cue to walk. They took a second to peek at the ginormous crowd, a sea of raised hands and cell phones ready and waiting to capture the first seconds of their beloved band taking the stage again.  

No one really spoke, not like you could hear anything over the audience anyway. Everyone exchanged looks and shoulder grabs, basking in their excitement together. You looked to Jake, who was pulling his guitar strap over his head, and offered him a genuine smile, silently wishing him ‘good luck’ as you could. He nodded and smiled back, still able to read your expressions even after all these years. 

Suddenly the lights went out, and there was a beat of silence, their cue to storm the stage. You watched as they left your side and found their rightful spots with their instruments. Plugging in, and taking a deep breath. 

As the lights faded up, Sam’s keys began the first song. Filling the arena with beautiful and ethereal sounds in a way that only he could. The crowd exploded into screams and cheers as they recognized the song. You watched on as thousands of people sang the lyrics back to the band, not missing a beat. 

You found yourself having a hard time deciding whether to watch the show or watch the crowd. They held hands, they cried, they swayed as they sang...now you understood why this was so addicting for them. The fans gave so much energy, song after song, an unrelenting celebration with each tempo switch. 

Your eyes carried themselves to Jake as you finally allowed yourself to watch him in his element. You’d been actively ignoring him the whole show so far, not letting yourself see him finally play, for real. You thought back, you hadn’t seen him play since that fateful night at the bar. Years ago. Even then he was a force to be reckoned with, but now, god, he held absolutely nothing back. 

You watched as he pranced around, completely taken with the music he was creating, and even more taken with the effect it had on the audience…absolute madness. You could tell he fed off of it. Lived for it. The way his body moved was so sensual, tilting his head back and rolling his entire body with the sound. His facial expressions matched, too. You felt like falling into a hole when you realized you’d seen him make those faces before, years ago, locked up in his room for two days with nothing better to do than each other. 

You had to force yourself to rip your eyes off of him. You noticed you’d been looking at only him for the past ten minutes or so. He was just so…mesmerizing to watch. The passion he felt while playing and interacting with the crowd and the rest of the band was a show in itself. And he sounded perfect. 

Then you caught a glimpse of his torso…Holy shit…The lights from the stage were bouncing off the sweat dripping down his chest and stomach. The proof of his exertion in the heat of the summer night. He was breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as the sweat dripped in a steady stream from his throat down to the button of his pants. Watching as he would occasionally wipe it between chords. That was a visual you did not need right now. 

You turned around to collect yourself, and grab a drink of water. You checked your phone quickly; you’d completely forgotten Sam had asked you if you had earlier. You’d done what he said to do – silenced his notifications, and changed his contact name. You couldn’t think of a name off the top of your head, so instead you chose to just use ‘Keys’. You had a photo notification from him from a little over an hour ago. You stepped behind some equipment, and opened the attachment.

There it sat. A photo of him in a partially fogged-up mirror, in just a towel hanging low around his hips. He had wiped the fog from the mirror just enough that you could see him. His face, dark with lust. He was holding the towel together right at the top of his bulge, only the light smattering of dark hair visible, leaving almost everything to the imagination. 

He was still dripping from his shower, the water glistening on his tanned skin. His wet hair falling at his shoulders with tiny droplets dripping from the ends, down onto his chest. He looked positively edible. His eyes lured you in, dark and focused, his jaw clenched tight. He wanted you. That much was clear. 

You locked your phone screen and returned your focus to the show, trying to forget the fact that both of them had managed to get you hot within the past two minutes. 

What the hell are they doing to you? 

You watched them intently, the music beginning to slow and the lights growing dim. The spotlight shone on Sam, playing a familiar tune on his piano. Is this greensleeves? Your brow furrowed as you watched him effortlessly play the melody you knew so well. As that came to a close, you watched him fully light and take the first hit from a cigarette, right there on stage. Blowing the smoke from his mouth and watching it dissipate into the light. Oh, he’s surely showing off tonight. 

The music swelled again, and the guitar came in. A haunting sound from Jake that nearly made you stop breathing. This must be one of their new songs. The intro lasted a good bit before they jumped into the full song. You checked your notes. You’d forgotten you kept one of the copies of the setlist. Age of Machine…you remembered listening to this the other night. You watched the crowd go crazy over it, especially as Jake began to go into a solo. Completely captured by his playing again, you felt your head swirling as you watched. It was like he slipped into another dimension and dragged you there with him. But in the moment there was no place you’d rather be. 

The song began to trail into something else, another familiar sound. Was this...? You reached deep into the depths of your memory, trying to remember the garage days. You knew this… this was the song they played at the Groovebox thing… What was the name of it…?

Then it hit you. You made quick eye contact with Sam, “Is this Thunderstomp?!” You mouthed to him. 

He smiled a giant smile, and slowly nodded ‘yes’ as he did so. Wow. You hadn’t heard this in so many years, and they decided to add a snippet in for fun. You suddenly felt all the emotions from the night so far building up. The memories coming back full force of watching them practice for hours in the garage...the day Jake asked Sam to come and play the bass for him. Jake had gotten his first real electric guitar, and fell in love with it. He never set it down. Sam always picking on him for how attached he was. 

You remembered as a kid, your mom and dad would take you over to the Kiszka house while the parents played cards into the early morning hours. Sam would practice the piano for hours on end while you sat and listened, doing homework and watching movies on mute. 

You remembered Sam getting his very own bass guitar for Christmas one year, being surprised and excited, but intimidated nonetheless. 

“Dad this is awesome, but I don’t know how to play it.” He’d said.

“Don’t worry. You’ll pick it up one day.” Kelly winked. 

You remembered the day Jake busted into the living room, carrying Sam’s untouched bass. 

“Hey, come on. We need you to play this.” He said, placing the bass on Sam’s lap. 

“Dude I don’t know how. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Go away.” Sam replied. 

Jake kneeled down next to him, his face softening to match his voice, “Please, Sambo? Try for me. I’ll show you a few chords. I’ll…I’ll teach you.” Jake begged. 

Sam met your eyes, looking for your opinion. All you did was shrug, “Let him teach you. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“You kick ass on the keys, how do you know you won’t kick ass on this too?” Jake pleaded, sending him a warm smile. 

You remembered the visual of Sam reluctantly getting up from the couch and dragging himself to the garage, Jake so excited just to have him there. That he was willing to try, just for him.

Two weeks later, he was a natural. He played it like he’d known how for years. His fingers glided across the strings effortlessly and from then on, you couldn’t drag him away from the garage. 

The memory flashed away as you now watched them on the stage together, sounding as professional as ever, with thousands of fans screaming for them. They had fun together, dancing around and communicating with their eyes. This was their true passion. 

Pride welled up in your chest as you began to cry tears of happiness for them, being so thankful you were there for the beginning of it all, and so sorry you had missed out on the middle. 

—

The show ended on a high note, the encore rounding off the first night perfectly. When the guys flooded off stage, they were full of excitement and exhaustion, searching for drinks and towels, rushing backstage as quickly as possible. Ok, back to work. 

You followed them out, watching as they celebrated together, suppressing your tears and emotions as best you could. You were so proud. 

Everyone was loaded up in the vans, ready to go back to the hotel and clean up from the night. You checked your phone and email one last time, ticking off check marks on your list of post-show tasks. A perfect night, no mishaps whatsoever. You felt so lucky, and truly felt like you had a handle on this job so far. You shot Allison a text letting her know how everything went, and that you were headed back to the hotel for the night.

You sneakily turned your body so your phone was concealed, and opened the photo from Sam again. You felt a wave of nervous excitement flood your system, and you saved the photo to your private album, deleting the one from the text thread. You decided to shoot him a quick text. 

You 11:47 pm: Thank you for that. More where it came from? 

Keys 11:48 pm: You’re very welcome. Absolutely, lots more ;) Come shower with me?

You pondered for a second, not seeing any harm in it. 

You 11:49 pm: I’ll be there.

The vans pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, and everyone began to unload. Everybody was tired, but still a bit keyed up from the excitement of the night. You checked in with the crew, letting everyone know of the meeting time tomorrow morning. With that, you turned your iPad off, and silenced your phone. 

You entered the hotel lobby, rustling around in your backpack for your key card and making your way to the elevator. 

“Hey!” A familiar voice caught you off guard from down the hall. It was Jake walking toward you. Your heart nearly stopped beating. “You ok? I saw you wiping your eyes getting into the van.” 

Oh shit, he’d seen the after effects of your emotional breakdown. 

“Hey! Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a little…in my feelings watching you guys.” you trailed off, already having said too much. 

“Oh, is that…bad?” He asked, completely misunderstanding your reason for tears. 

You gave him a halfhearted smile as you took a deep breath. “Exactly the opposite, actually.” You offered, not wanting to go into any detail at the moment. 

“Okay, well…I was gonna get changed and go down to the hotel bar. Do you… wanna join?” He asked motioning behind him. His eyes were full of hope. 

Yes. Yes I’ll do whatever you ask of me. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. Take me wherever you want and do whatever you want with me. 

“Ah, that’s okay. You go ahead. Rain check, though?” You answered, going against every ounce of judgment in your brain. 

His face fell, defeated. “Yeah, rain check.” He grinned a little, and turned back the way he was heading. You felt like kicking yourself. 

“Oh, Jake?” He turned back around, now walking backwards away from you, hands in his pockets. “You guys sounded really great tonight. It was perfect.” You offered, wanting to give him more, go into every little detail about his playing, ask him a million questions, drone on for hours about how much you loved everything about the show…About him.

“Thanks for keeping us in line, darlin’.” And with that, he turned the corner, and was gone. That was the second time he’d used a pet name tonight. First love, now darlin? He made you weak in the knees.

You boarded the elevator with a heavy fog clouding your mind. You replayed the encounter over and over. You felt terrible for turning his invitation down, but you already made plans to go to Sam’s room. You pressed the button for your floor, and suddenly felt overwhelmingly confused. 

Should you knock on Jake’s door by accident? 

JAKE POV

You should have known she wouldn’t agree to it. Of course she didn’t want to get a drink with you. You purposefully walked to the opposite end of the building to board a different elevator than she had, suddenly feeling stupid for asking her in the first place. 

‘Let her come to you’, Josh’s words ringing through your head over and over as the elevator doors opened. You stepped inside, pulling your phone from your pocket just as Sam stepped in beside you. 

“You good? You look like someone punched you in the gut.” he jokes.

You smirk, “Mmm, kind of feels that way.” you whisper to yourself.

“Huh?” he questions, not hearing your words.

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired. Been a minute since I played like that is all. Hand hurts.” you answer.

“Okay...Well, what floor are you?” he asks.

“Eleven.” you answer stoically.

“Oh, me too!” he says, far too joyfully for your taste.

The elevator dings as you arrive at the eleventh floor, both of you stepping out into the carpeted hallway. You pull your keycard from your wallet as you round the corner.

Sam is not too far behind you, but stopping as he reaches the room next to yours, tapping his key to the lock.

“Night!” he says, nodding his head towards you.

“Later.” you reply, opening your door, and stepping inside.

Kicking off your boots you hobble further into the room, turning on a lamp and depositing your things on the dresser in one fell swoop. 

You make your way into the bathroom, turning the shower on, letting the water get hot as you remove your clothes. The shower is quick, rinsing away the remnants of sweat and letting the scalding water relax your tired muscles. You massage the sting in your hand as you close it into a fist. Will this goddamn thing ever heal? 

As the bathroom fills with steam you let your mind wander. It was so good to be back on the stage finally playing the songs as they were intended to be heard. The crowd seemed to love it, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. Did she actually like it? Her smile as you walked off the stage should have been enough of an indication, but the smile was laced with something else. Her eyes were sad. You could tell she had been crying.  You were feeling really confident mid set, nailing every note with ease, just like you practiced time and time again. 

But the sadness of her demeanor as the show ended had you wondering if maybe you hadn’t done as well as you thought. Maybe she was expecting more? If you were good she would have told you, right? You’d do better tomorrow. You’d show her. All you really want is for her to be proud of you.

You turned the knob on the shower, letting the water trickle from the shower head until it came to a stop. You grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped yourself in the scratchy white fabric. Walking back into the room, you unzipped your suitcase pulling out your sweats and a t-shirt before closing it back up. 

You ran your fingers through your wet hair as you spotted the mini bar near the window. Squatting down in front of the offerings you found 4 mini bottles of Jack Daniel’s. Perfect.

Pulling them from the slot, you stood up and grabbed one of the glasses covered with a paper shield, and twisted the lid on the first bottle of Jack. Hesitating, your eyes flashed to the ice bucket. Yeah, I think so. 

Ice bucket in hand you made your way to the door, grabbing your room key and twisting the lock. As you open the door to step out, you glance down the hallway in search of the vending machines, but what you see is not the sight you were looking for. 

You see Y/N standing in front of Sam’s door, about to walk in. Your eyes meet quickly, as your grip on the ice bucket tightens. This is why she turned you down. For Sam.

Her eyes break from yours, glancing at the ice bucket in your hand and tossing you a sorrowful smile, just as she holds the card to the lock. Her eyes flash back up to yours, and you can still see that same look in them that she had earlier. She is sad. She looks away and steps inside, and as the door shuts behind you, you let out the breath that was caught in your chest at first sight of her. 

When will it be my door she walks through? Will it ever be?

—

HER POV

You landed on your floor, and walked to your room to change out of your more professional outfit and into something a little more comfortable. It was a hot day, and changing out of the clothes you’d spent the day sweating in felt nice. You actually were very excited to shower the day off with Sam, and actually enjoy the shower itself. 

You grabbed a pair of jeans and tshirt for the morning walk of shame, and changed into a loose tank top and shorts for tonight. You headed back to the elevator, and up to Sam’s room. On the ride up, you texted him to let him know you were coming. 

You 12:09pm: Almost there! 

Keys 12:10pm: Shower’s hot. 

You 12:10pm: Good. So am I… 

Keys 12:11pm: Hurry up

The elevator doors opened, and you took off down the hallway toward his room, only to be met with Jake, again, walking back down the hall with an ice bucket in hand. You felt like your skull was full of lightning bolts, thoughts bouncing around in your head of what lie you could tell him to get out of this one. 

When his eyes met yours, his posture dropped. You didn’t need to lie. He knew exactly where you were going. Exactly why you turned down drinks. Neither of you said a word, just held eye contact as you walked slowly toward each other and approached your respective doors. You raised the key card to the handle, and it unlocked. You twisted the knob, and gave Jake one last longing look before slipping into Sam’s room. 

You dropped your things on the couch, and took a deep and cleansing breath. Jake just had to be in the hallway at that exact moment, didn’t he? Why did you keep lining up like this? You decided to shake the thought free, and suppress the vision of the look on his face when he realized where you were going. 

You heard the shower running in the bathroom, so you decided to give Sam a little show. You stripped down to nothing, and quietly opened the bathroom door. The shower glass was fogged up, but you could see the silhouette of his body inside. You pulled the handle on the thin glass of the door, and stepped inside. He wiped his face clean of the residual soap he was washing with, and opened his eyes to meet yours. 

“Hey.” You said with a smile. 

“Hey yourself.” He immediately pulled you into him, skin to skin, standing under the hot streams of the shower. “You killed it today, you know. You’re really a natural.” He began to lay his mouth on your neck. 

“Mmm, I dunno Sam. Everyone pretty much already knows exactly what to do and how to do it. I don’t do much.” You replied, tilting your head back to give him more access. 

“I guess…but you keep us on time and in touch. There’s got to be so much you do behind the scenes that no one ever notices.” He went on, turning you around and pulling his fingers through your hair to wet it. 

“I suppose so, but enough about me. Let’s talk about how you guys made me cry in front of all my new coworkers tonight.” You joked, but not really. 

“Ahh, I thought I saw you get a little emotional over there. Was it the Thunderstomp throwback?” he laughed, continuing to massage your scalp. 

“That’s definitely made it worse… I was already just...in awe of you guys. How you sounded. How you performed...it’s unreal Sam. I’m being serious.” 

“Well thanks, babe. I’m sorry you cried. I think happy tears are good for you, though.” He replied. You didn’t have the guts to tell them that they weren’t all happy tears. 

You finished up washing yourselves, and were left still standing in the shower, taking each other in. You brought your hands up to hold Sam’s face, and placed a genuine kiss to his lips. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around you again. He kissed you back, a bit harder this time. You began fighting each other for dominance through the kiss as it became more heated, and your hands began to search each other’s bodies. 

You felt yourself getting insanely turned on as Sam quickly backed you against the wall of the shower, and lifted one of your legs to rest over his hip. He tightened his jaw as he felt himself pressed against you, growing harder with each passing second. “God I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of how you feel...” he said through his clenched teeth. He began to grind against your now spread lips, and the friction was enough to drive you insane. He held you in place while he teased you with his tip, moving it from your clit to your entrance and back again, never fully pressing in. 

“Please Sam, I need you.” You pleaded, begging him to fill you. 

“Tell me what you need, baby. Talk to me.” He growled. 

“Fuck, I need you inside me. Can you?” You looked up at him, giving him the eyes you knew he couldn’t refuse. 

“Tell me why I should fuck you, hm? Give me a good reason...” he continued grinding hard against your clit, causing you to begin to see stars. 

“Because you did so good tonight...played so perfect…” you whimpered. 

He reached and grabbed your tit with his free hand, giving it a rewarding squeeze. 

“Yeah? You enjoyed yourself tonight? Liked watching me up there?” He twisted your nipple, eliciting a cry from your throat. 

“Yeah Sammy, I did like watching you...playing for all those people. So hot. All those screaming fans wishing they could have you…let you take them back to your room and have your way with them…” you spoke between breaths. 

Suddenly he separated from you and released your leg, spinning you around to lean your arms down on the seat in the shower. You bent in half, and looked back toward him. He laid a loud smack across your right ass cheek, spurring you on. 

“Keep going...” he ordered. 

“But you weren’t going to bring them back to your room, because you knew I would come. And I would fuck you just how you like…right Sammy?” You said, backing yourself against him, teasing him a little now. 

He let out a low growl, bringing his hands to your hips and pulling himself toward you. “Mmmmhm… but you did something you shouldn’t have, didn’t you angel?”

“And what is that?” you ask.

“I happened to see a sexy little picture on Jake’s phone… one that I’ve seen before…” he says, continuing to tease you.

“Mmmm… I may have sent it… Are you jealous Sammy?” you ask, pressing yourself back to him.

“No. Should I remind you who has you bent over in the shower with their cock inside you?” he says, pressing just the tip to your opening.

You decided to keep going. “I opened the photo you sent me during the show tonight…you looked so hot Sam...made me wet just looking at it…couldn’t take my eyes off of you all night.” he was teasing your entrance again. 

“Fuckkkkk me…” he huffed, letting himself enter you just a little bit. 

“Yeah Sam, please. Listen to yourself, falling apart for me, do it.” You stepped your legs apart a little and swayed your hips for him, giving him no choice but to give you what you wanted. Suddenly, you heard the shower turn off. 

You turned to face him, a devilish look painting his features.

“Go get on the bed. Don’t dry off.” He spoke sternly smacking your ass, and you had no choice but to do just that.

JAKE POV

You watch as the ice starts to melt in the glass as you pour over the tiny bottle of warm Jack Daniels. Only giving it just enough time to chill before tossing it back and twisting the lid on the next. 

You listen as the TV drones on in the background, playing some crime investigation show that you haven’t been paying attention to. How could you after that? 

You wish you could silence the thoughts plaguing your mind. Wish you could drown them in the mini bottles of liquor now swirling through your bloodstream. But you can’t.

When the bottles are empty and your mind is fuzzy you retire to the bed, turning off the lamp and lowering the volume on the TV. As you scroll through your phone your eyelids become heavy and start to become harder and harder to hold open. 

Thump.

Your eyes shot open. What was that? 

Thump.

You sat up in your bed, looking around to find the source of the noise. Fucking hotels. The clock read 1:07 am.  You had only been asleep for about 15 minutes. Pushing your hair out of your face you shake your head and lay back down. You grab the remote, turning the TV off, and trying to close your eyes to find the sleep you were disturbed from. 

Thump. Thump.

“What the fuck…” you growl, but thats when you hear it. The muffled groan. 

Your eyes widen as you realize where the noise is coming from. Fuck me.

Then you hear it again, the stifled whine traveling through the wall from Sam’s room. Wait, are they fighting? A pitchy moan floats through the wall. Oh, they are not fighting…God, I should not be listening to this.

Grabbing the remote you turn the TV back on, hoping the noise will drown out the sex seeping in from next door. Fucking Sam, what an asshole. They could have at least gone to her room.

As you lay there staring at the TV screen you watch as the detectives cover a body with a tarp as you hear the repeated moans echoing through the walls. Shit, kill me too while you’re at it.

Turning the volume up further on the TV you placed a pillow over your head, and tried to go back to sleep. Letting the soft feather pillow rest over your face, you feel yourself starting to slip back into that sleepy state. As your eyes begin to shut you hear the headboard as it slams against the wall yet again. Jesus Christ, when did he get so much stamina?

You grab the pillow and throw it to the other side of the bed in frustration and that's when the final straw is snapped. The fucked out moan you can hear clear as day through the paper thin walls, ‘Sam…’ 

You grab your phone off of the nightstand, finding his contact and hitting call. It’s no surprise when it rings through to voicemail. Asshole. You sigh as you set the phone down, seeing the black room phone sitting on the stand next to the lamp. Ha...he can’t ignore that.

Flicking on the lamp you pick up the phone, and call in to the front desk. It rings in for a moment before the woman on the other end asks what she can do to help you. “Hey, this is Jake Kiszka in room 1109, could you please connect me to Sam Kiszka in room 1107?” you ask as politely as possible.

“Sure thing, have a great night.” she replies, transferring the call and letting it ring through. You pull the receiver away from your ear as you listen to hear his phone ringing next door. Got ya bitch.

“Hello?” he answers, voice thick with confusion.

“Good evening Samuel. Do you think you could keep it the fuck down over there?” you ask.

He clears his throat, “You can… hear… over there?” he asks nervously.

“Yeah, I can and if I have to hear one more thing, the next scream to leave your mouth will be the last when I come over there and make you the next victim on this late-night murder investigation show I'm watching.” you say, hanging up the phone. That should do it. 

Turning the lamp back off you adjust your pillows and roll to your side. The noise stopped after that and you found yourself falling back asleep, but it was not lost on you that the noises you were hearing were also coming from her. Does he make her happy? Does she even remember what it felt like to be with you? You wanted to be the reason she made those noises, not him. Would you ever get to do that again? You forced the thoughts out of your head and let the darkness carry your mind away to a place far, far from here.

NIGHT TWO

HER POV

Your alarm goes off right at 7:00, forcing your eyes open in panic. The room is bright, as the sun shines through from the window. The curtains left open in the haste of the evening. 

Turning your head you see Sam, still passed out next to you, clearly unaffected by the sound of the alarm. You smirk as you roll to your side, grabbing your phone and scrolling through your emails, trying to wake up your brain for another insane day of work. 

After a few minutes, you take one last look at Sam, sneak out of the bed and gather your clothes from the floor, sliding them back on as you search for your room key. You shut the door quietly behind you, as you make your way to the elevator pressing the call button to take you to your floor.

It dings as the doors open to reveal none other than Josh standing inside, steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand. 

“Good morning!” he says cheerily, voice still thick with sleep. 

“Hi Josh, looks like I don't need to knock on your door do I?” you laugh, pressing the 4th floor button until it’s illuminated. 

“Knock on my door?” he asks, sipping from the steaming cup.

“Oh, yeah I told Sam and Danny I would come knock on their doors when they needed to get up today. Like a wake up call kinda, but I don't need to wake them up for another hour or so. You guys have an interview at the venue this morning.” you answer. 

“Oh. We do?” he asks, brow furrowed.

You pulled out your phone and looked at the schedule for today. “Uh, yeah, right here. 11:00, it’s for Premier Guitar. Looks like it’s a Sam and Jake interview.”

“Oh, the guy for Rig Rundown?” he asks.

“Yeah, that's what it says in the notes.” you reply.

“Hmm… no one ever wants to hear about what the singer does…” he says dramatically ending with a wink and a smile.

“You and Danny have one later in the day, drama queen.”

The elevator descends slowly and you watch as the numbers start to count down.

“So if you don't have to wake them up for another hour, where were you coming from?” he asks, with a knowing smirk.

You cut your eyes at him, not wanting to answer his question. “Would you look at that, here's my floor...” you say stepping out into the hallway through the open doors. 

“Hey, wait.” he calls, holding the door open with his arm. You turn to look at him, sending him a questioning look.

“Can we… talk later?” he asks.

You swallow nervously as your mind tries to come up with an answer, “About what?”

He tilts his head in response and you know exactly what he wants to talk about. You let a sigh leave your chest as you concede, “Okay... Later.”

He smiles and removes his arm, taking a sip of his coffee and raising his eyebrow as the doors shut in front of him.

Shit.

—

After a long shower and some primping you are feeling good and ready to tackle another day. You check your phone to see that it’s time to go wake up the rest of the guys to make sure they have enough time to get ready and be at the venue on time. 

Pressing the button for the elevator you make your way to Danny’s room first, knocking on the door twice and waiting for some type of confirmation that he was awake. After a minute or two you heard the lock twist and the door open, to see a mess of curls and tired eyes. 

“Good morning…” he groans. “How long do I have? Is there coffee?” he asks.

“You have about an hour until we need to meet downstairs. Yes there is coffee.” you answer.

He drags his hand over his face and groans as he nods his head. “Thank you. Really. I will see you shortly.” he smiles, and you turn on your heels heading back to the elevator. 

Stepping off on floor eleven, you try to decide if you should wake Sam first or Jake first, knowing that both had a very late night, and are not particularly morning people. Picking the lesser of the two evils you head to Sam’s door, tapping the key to the lock and letting it open.

He is almost exactly how you left him, except the blankets have been shoved down to the foot of the bed, the heat of the sun shining in, warming the room. You sit on the edge of the bed, and grab his leg, shaking it gently to try and wake him. “Sammy…” you whisper.

A groan leaves his chest, “Not yet…” he whines, throwing a pillow over his eyes.

“I let you sleep as long as I could…you have to get up or you’re going to be late.” you say softly.

“Ugh… you sound like my mother…” he says.

You stand up and walk to his side of the bed, hovering over top of him as your hands cage in his head. You lean down and press a kiss to the side of his neck, hoping that it would at least get him to open his eyes, and like magic it works.

His dark brown eyes flutter open quickly raking over you as his lips turn into a smile.

“Damn, you look gorgeous, did you do something different to your hair?” he asks, reaching up to run his fingers through the silky smooth locks.

You laugh as you stand up, “I had some time this morning so I gave myself a blowout, why do you like it?” you ask.

“Yeah… you look…hot.” he smiles, sitting up in the bed and grabbing your hand pulling you towards him. “How much time do we have again?” he asks suggestively.

“Not enough…now get up and get in the shower. I’ll see you downstairs in an hour. Please be on time…” you say making your way back to the door. 

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Next door. I have to wake up your brother.” you answer.

Guilt shoots through him as he remembers the events of the evening, “Probably not so sexy of a wake up call for him though, huh?” 

You laugh, “No, probably not Sam. Just you.” you say in a mocking tone, letting the door shut behind you.

You nervously walk the few steps to his door, as the memory of his face last night flashes through your brain. If you had just been 2 minutes earlier he wouldn’t have seen you walking into Sam’s room. You swallow shakily as you lift your hand to knock on the heavy wooden door. 

You stand there anxiously, waiting to see if you can hear any sign of life on the other side. When you hear nothing, you decide to knock again, this time being met with the door being thrown open and an irritated Jake on the other side. 

His face softens as he realizes it’s you and he swallows back the harsh words that were about to leave his lips. 

Your eyes travel up the length of his body as he stands there leaning against the door frame in just his sweats. You cast your eyes to the floor as you try to speak the twenty different thoughts swirling through your brain, “Umm… hey… I just…I woke up the rest of the guys… you have an interview later…just didn’t want you to oversleep. I didn’t mean to bother you…I didn’t even ask you if you wanted a wake up call, did I? You probably didn’t…I’m sorry… I was just next door and I thoug–” you stammered before he stopped you.

“Hey. Relax. It’s fine. Thanks for waking me up. Just use a key next time so I don’t have to get out of bed. I’m hungover as fuck, is there coffee downstairs anywhere?” he grumbles, rubbing his face.

You blink blankly at him as your brain searches for any words, “Uhh, yeah. Yes. There is. I can have room service send some up if you want.” you say pulling your phone from your back pocket.

“No, no it’s okay, I can get it. Thank you though. Thanks for waking me. What time do I need to be down there?” he asks.

You check the time on your phone, “Like… 45 minutes.” you answer, biting your lip.

His eyes meet yours, and he smiles softly as he nods his head, “Thank you.” You nod in return, turning to walk back to the elevator, and stepping inside as the doors opened. But as the doors began to close you noticed him still standing in his doorway, watching you leave. Your eyes meeting his and never breaking away until the doors slid shut. 

—

Your foot bounces nervously on the lobby floor as you wait for the guys to begin trickling down stairs. You check the time on your phone as texts and emails continue to pour in. Danny is the first to meet you, taking a seat next to you on the small couch. 

“I’m not surprised you’re the first one down.” you laugh.

“Yeah, I am usually the one doing the wake up calls, it was nice to be the recipient this time.” he smiles.

A few minutes later you see Sam strolling out of the elevator, fresh from the shower, hair still wet and slicked back, just barely touching the collar of his white shirt. 

“My two favorite people!” he says, positioning himself on the chair across from you.

“Ready for your big interview?” you ask.

“Oh, yeah, we have done this with him before, but this time my bass actually has strings.” he laughs. “But, I had an idea and I will need your help…” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

He spends the next ten minutes telling you and Danny about his hairbrained idea involving a tiny table and chairs and a bottle of vodka, both of you erupting in laughter. You shoot a quick text to one of the crew members, trying to coordinate those details for him knowing it will add some comedy to an otherwise monotonous interview. 

Summer is the next one down, sitting next to Danny and immediately starting up an overly animated conversation.

The elevator dings and you all turn your heads to see Josh and Jake walking out of the elevator together, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes meet Jakes.

He looks so…good. Dressed in a black button up, sans buttons, a navy blue blazer, and a pair of loose fitting jeans, he looked perfectly disheveled. Mature. Expensive. Much different from the guy you knew a few years ago in ripped jeans and cut off t-shirts. But as he approached you, you could smell him. His cologne leaving a trail behind him as he walked, spicy and warm and positively intoxicating. You swallowed harshly trying to keep your composure as you let the scent fill your nose. 

“We ready to go?” Josh asked, looking around at the group.

You stood up from the couch, clutching your iPad, “Yeah, the van was here like twenty minutes ago.” you laugh.

“Some of us needed a little extra sleep this morning. Didn’t sleep well last night. Thin walls, you know?” Jake says, tossing a bitter look to Sam.

Sam’s face turns pale as he stands up and walks towards the door heading for the van. Guilt washes through you as you follow the rest of them out the doors and into the bright sun.

You all pile into the van, and thankfully the drive is short, as Summer has not stopped talking since the doors shut. All of the guys were being far too polite and were too hungover to tell her to stop. You spend most of the ride responding to emails and running over the itinerary for the day and before you know it you are pulling into the back of the venue. As you all step out, the guys linger waiting to be told where they need to be. 

“Okay, Jake and Sam, John with Premier Guitar will be here in about 45 minutes to start the interview. Sam I already talked to Mike and he is getting your little table ready. Josh and Daniel, the interviewer from 105.9 will be here at 12:30. After that you’re free to do whatever you need to do. Summer, if you want to just kind of float around and get some photos of the guys, you are good to do your own thing. Any questions?” you ask.

They all nod their heads and break off towards the green room as you and Summer walk towards the stage to check on the progress. 

“Was your room okay last night?” you ask, trying to make small talk.

She holds her camera up to her eye, checking her settings as she turns to you, “Yeah, it was really nice. How about yours?”

“Oh, yeah, the rooms are great. Hoping to get better sleep tonight though. Looking forward to another jam-packed day, first.” you laugh.

Looking over her shoulder she checks her surroundings, “Okay was it just me or was Jake looking extra good this morning? Did you smell him? Ugh, I hope he never buttons his shirts ever again.” she giggles.

You laugh, “He looked pretty hungover to me…”

“But you have to admit he's hot though…” she says, holding the camera up to her eye, snapping the capture button.

“Our boss? Jake?” you say, condescendingly.

“Ugh… objectively then. Just as a man.” she says.

“Yes, objectively as a man he is attractive, but he’s still our boss and has the ability to fire us for any reason he sees fit. I think it would be smart to keep that in mind, you know?” you quip.

“Yeah, yeah… I hear you.” she smiles, before scurrying off to the soundbooth.

You shake your head as you climb the stairs to the stage, looking to make sure the table and chairs are set in the back for Sam. When you see the tiny table and the drinks you laugh, ready to see how his little vision will play out later. 

Walking back down the steps you thank the crew for assisting with the last minute addition before making your way to the green room. You check the time on your phone, seeing that the interviewer will be here any minute. Jake and Sam were lounging on the couch, nursing their hangovers with none other than more alcohol.

You shake your head as you address them, “Are you two ready?”

Sam stands up and slides his black loafers back on, as he tries to crack his knuckles, “Yeah I’m ready if he is.” he says motioning to Jake, who is sipping from his paper cup, sunglasses sitting low on his nose.

“Alright alright…Yes, I’m ready.” he says, pushing his sunglasses up and tossing back the rest of his drink. He stands to meet Sam and fixes his blazer and shirt, making himself look less hungover and more presentable. 

A knock at the door has your head snapping to meet it, as you reach for the handle. You’re met with the sight of an older man, who you’re assuming was here to interview them, with a bag full of mics and a camera team.

“Hey, I’m John with Premier Guitar. You guys ready!?” he asks excitedly.

Suddenly Jake steps forward, his entire demeanor changing as he becomes a more polished and clean version of himself, shaking hands with the man like they were old friends. Jake led him and his crew out to the stage, as you and Sam followed closely behind. 

“Geeze, that was weird, he just…turned on.” you say to Sam.

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, he does that… Mr. Popularity… I tell ya…” he says. “Alright, see you in a bit.” he says, squeezing your hand before climbing up the stairs to the stage.

You watch from the side stage, as Jake talks intently about his passion, explaining the ins and outs of his set up, the ideas he came up with for the sound and the way he intends things to be heard. It’s incredibly addicting watching him speak so passionately about what he loves. You have a hard time tearing your eyes away from him as you watch him demonstrate the different pedals and effects, pouring his soul into every note. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed as you watched, but when a gentle hand made its way to your shoulder you were snapped from your moment of weakness.

“Oh, hi.” you say, turning to see Josh.

“Having fun?” he asks with a knowing tone.

“Just… making sure everything is running smoothly.” you answer.

“Right, right. That's all, hmm?” he asks with a wink.

You shake your head, “What’s up?” 

“Come walk with me, wanna talk to you.” he says, gesturing to follow him.

“Right now? They are right in the middl–” you start.

“Exactly, let’s go.” he says, raising his eyebrows.

With a huff, you follow after him, meeting his stride as you head back towards the dressing rooms. 

He steps inside, shutting the door behind you and taking a seat on the couch. You place your iPad on the table and sit down across from him. 

“Okay, what’s up, are you firing me?” you laugh.

He laughs his genuine laugh, “No, of course not. You’re doing spectacular. No, I want to talk about… something else.”

You feel your palms start to sweat, and suddenly you know what he wants to talk about.

“Okay…” you reply nervously.

“How long are you two going to do this?” he asks.

“Do what?” you ask.

He tilts his head, “Come on Y/N, you know what. The back and forth, the subtle glances, the longing for each other from across the room…”

You let out a sigh,“I don’t think it’s like that between us anymore…I don’t think he feels… the same way anymore.” you offer.

A scoff leaves his chest, “Open your eyes Y/N. That man is deeply, deeply in love with you. Has been since he was sixteen years old. I think it’s safe to say he feels the same way as he always has.”

“He just broke up with Sophia, and… I don’t know, I thought maybe we would talk after all of that happened, but… we haven’t and… I’m just… waiting. I don’t know what for…I guess I just don’t want to mess things up. Tour just started. I don’t know Josh, everything is a mess. And really, truly he hasn’t really given me any indication that he wants to talk. Although… I guess he did ask to get drinks last night…”

“And… did you?” he asks, shocked.

“No.” you say looking at the floor.

“What? Why not?” he asks.

“Well… I had already made plans with Sam.” you reply.

He drags his hand across his face, “Shit Y/N…”

“Do you love him?” he asks.

“Who Sam!?” you ask, looking at him like he's crazy.

“No, Jake.” he replies.

You pause for a moment, your eyes searching his as you answer, “Of course I do, Josh. I never stopped.”

“So what are you waiting for? Go to him!” he urges.

“I can’t! It’s not that simple!” you say, raising your voice.

“It is! Cut things off with Sam and go talk to Jake! He needs you, and you’re torturing him. He is waiting for you!” he begs.

“He’s waiting for me? I’ve been waiting for him.” you breathe, almost a whisper.

“Yeah. He is. And in the meantime it’s killing him to watch you with Sam.” he says.

“He saw me…last night. I turned him down in the lobby. I really wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t just ditch Sam. He’s been there for me a lot lately, he means a lot to me, you know? Anyways, I felt terrible. Awful actually. But I went to Sam’s room, and as I was unlocking the door, Jake coming out of his room at the exact moment. He knew I turned him down for Sam. I wanted to disintegrate.” you say.

“I know. He texted me about it…Drank half of the mini bar because of it. Like I said, you’re torturing him.” he quipped. “You two need to talk. Seriously.”

“I know. I’m just scared Josh.” you admit.

“Don’t be scared, all he wants to do is love you.” he says.

“I’m not the same person I used to be. What if he doesn’t like who I am now?” you ask.

“He has loved every version of you he’s ever met, Y/N.” he offers.

You nod your head as you try to blink away the tears forming in your eyes. 

“You are the only thing he has ever wanted, apart from this.” he says motioning around him. “Now he has it, but what is all of this without you? This will never be enough for him. He needs you.”

A single tear streaks down your face, as your walkie talkie beeps on your shoulder. ‘Y/N can you meet us at the soundbooth?’

“I have to go.” you say standing up and wiping away the tear.

“Okay, please, just think about what I said. Just talk to him.” he begs.

You swallow back the lump in your throat, “I will. Promise.” and with that you’re out the door. 

As you hear it slam behind you, a shaky breath releases from your chest, just as Sam and Jake come barreling down the hallway. You do your best to put on a happy face as you see them, but you can see Jake’s smile drop as he meets your gaze. 

Sam tries to stop you but you push past, “I have to go to the soundbooth but I’ll be right back okay?” Sam tosses you a concerned look but you ignore it, knowing if you turned around you would break down completely. 

—

With only five minutes until the show began, you started to run through your final checklist, making sure everyone was dressed and ready, and had everything they needed. Again tonight you got to stand by and watch their pre show ritual, your heart instantly flooded with pride, just the same as last night. 

You stand by the door as they file out one by one, checking to make sure their outfits are perfect. Josh first, then Danny, followed by Sam.

“Spin, let me see you.” you say, causing Sam to twirl in a circle with his topo chico in hand. 

“Oh, let me fix your pants.” you say squatting down to smooth out the baby blue fabric on his leg. 

“There. Off you go.” you say, swatting his butt with the iPad in your hand. 

Finally, Jake walks out of the door, and as you check his outfit you see his collar flipped up again. “Hey, wait...” you say, the crowd roaring in the distance.

He turns to face you, swallowing as his eyes meet yours. “Your collar…again.” you smile, focusing on the fabric, folding it into place, letting your hand slide down his lapel ever so slightly. He turns and repositions his jacket, throwing his hair over his shoulders before turning back to you “Am I good?” he asks innocently, eyes searching yours.

Your eyes flick back up to meet his, “You’re perfect.” you breathe.

You watch as the sides of his lips turn upwards, as he tries to stifle back a smile.

He turns to catch up with the guys, looking over his shoulder at you once more before climbing the stairs to the stage.

You toss your head back onto the wall and sigh, continuing to think about what Josh said earlier. He was right, you really didn’t know what you were waiting for. 

You would talk to him. Tonight. 

—

Somehow the show tonight was even better than the night before. While you’re sure it had something to do with the show being recorded tonight, part of you wants to believe they will just get better and better with every show under their belt. Josh’s vocals were incredible, nailing each note with perfect precision, and making it look easy.

Your eyes were once again drawn to Jake as he played through the set putting every ounce of effort he had into the performance. He lived for this, and it was very apparent in the passion he poured into each show. Every so often you would peel your eyes away from his hands working the strings, and focus on Sam, vying for the attention of the girls on the barricade screaming his name. You shook your head and smiled at the looks he would give them. He is such a flirt. 

When the guys rushed off stage before the encore, it was a flurry of hands, towels and water flying past your face as they all ran to the bathrooms. Quickly they returned one by one, preparing for the last 20 minutes of the show. 

Pulling his jacket back over his arms, you watched the sweat continue to pour down Jake's stomach meeting the top of his pants. As you watched it drip you caught yourself, forcing your eyes back up to his face, only to be caught in the act. 

A sly smile crossed his lips as he repositioned his guitar over his body, raising his eyebrows at you quickly before striding back onto the stage.

Shit. What was that?

The rest of the show was magnetic and you positively could not pull your eyes away from Josh as he gave the crowd everything he had. As the last notes rang through the venue you stood to the side, watching the guys rush past you one by one with haste as they made their way back to the green room. 

You left the crew to do their thing and begin breaking down the set, as you start to run through the inventory checklist backstage, checking off each item as it was placed into its case. As you make your way towards the dressing rooms, you instruct the crew to hang their white coveralls in the travel case to be dry cleaned. Stepping into the main green room you see everyone standing around enjoying a much deserved drink, talking and laughing over the success of the show. 

“Hey guys, you sounded amazing tonight! The van should be here in about 15 minutes to take you back to the hotel, so if you will just hang your suits in the case outside the door, I will send them off to be dry cleaned.”

They all nod in agreement, turning back to their conversations. Sam walks over to you, throwing his arm over your shoulder planting a kiss on your cheek. “You did it! Your first shows are done and dusted.” he smiles.

You wrap your arm around his waist, and laugh, “Well, I still have to make sure the rest of the crew gets the stage and everything packed up before I am done, but you guys are free to go when the van gets here. No need to wait on me.” you smile.

“Nonsense. We’re staying, right guys?” he asks, pulling you closer into his side.

“Yeah, we don’t have anywhere to be, as long as there is alcohol we are set.” Josh answers with a laugh. 

“Okay, it shouldn't be too long I don’t think…” you say, releasing yourself from Sam's grip. “I’ll go check and see what the progress looks like and report back.”

You excuse yourself from the room, mind a blur as the image of Jake’s still sweaty body sat lounging on the leather couch. Shit, will I ever get used to that?

Returning to the stage you see that the crew is practically finished, just loading the pieces into the semi. You talk with the crew, releasing them for the night once they are finished, and telling them you would send them the schedule for tomorrow as soon as you could.

About twenty minutes later you are walking back into the green room to see that everyone had changed into their normal clothes, hanging their suits just like you asked. As you took a survey of the room you saw Sam and Danny chatting in the corner, Josh looking at his phone and Jake talking intently to Summer, who was practically perched in his lap as she spoke to him.

Your brow furrowed as you watched them, deeply engrossed in what each other was saying. You couldn’t fully hear their conversation, but you could see the pink in Jake’s cheeks as he laughed and smiled at her words. You could see the twinkle in her eyes as she continued to flirt with him, starting a fire in your chest. Maybe he does like her…

You turn your attention to Josh, “You ready to get out of here?” you ask.

He turns his head to look at Jake and Summer before answering you. “Yeah, probably should. Give any thought to what I said earlier?”

“Yeah, I did… I thought maybe I would talk to him tonight but now I don't know… He seems a little… preoccupied.” you respond.

“Ahh…He’s just being nice, don’t worry about her. He only has eyes for you.” he smiles as he stands up. “Alright boys, let's go!” he says, getting the attention of the other guys.

You make your way over to Sam, letting him pull you into his lap wrapping his arms around your waist as you laugh. You see Jake's eyes flash over to yours, connecting briefly as Sam whispers into your ear, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he continues his conversation with Danny. Jake’s face drops, the sudden rosy quality of his face draining away to a pale shade that made you feel sick. 

You didn’t want Summer to see the interaction between you and Sam so you quickly stood up, and made your way over to the door, opening it for everyone as they started to gather their things. Summer was the first out, camera bag in hand and completely oblivious to your moment with Sam. Jake followed after her, stopping to let Danny and Josh walk out before him.

As they filed out you shut the door behind yourself, wondering if Josh was actually right about Jake. Was he really still in love with you? He looked awfully cozy with Summer… 

No. No more excuses. You were going to talk to him. You didn’t know how, but you knew you had to.

JAKE POV

Walking to catch up with Josh you leaned closer to whisper into his ear, “Did you see that shit Sam pulled? Why does he do that right in front of me? Does he think this is some kind of game?” you asked.

“Ahh… he probably saw how comfortable you looked with Summer and thought you wouldn’t mind.” he answers, raising his eyebrow.

“She came to talk to me… what was I supposed to do?” you ask.

“She did not come to talk to you Jacob. She was flirting with you. Even Y/N noticed.” he says.

What?

“She did?” you asked, rubbing your jaw nervously.

“Yeah…Hey listen I talked to her today…” he starts just as you arrive at the van. 

“And… what? What did she say?” you beg, turning him to face you.

The van driver begins to talk to him and he gets distracted from your conversation, “Josh. What did she say?” you demand.

He looks around, not making eye contact with you, “Now isn’t a good time. I will tell you later. Promise.” he says, stepping into the van.

Fucker.

You climb in after him, pulling your phone from your pocket to distract yourself from the sight of her and Sam sitting in front of you. Summer climbs in taking the seat next to you and smiling at you as she settles her camera bag onto her lap. As the van begins to drive away she pulls her camera from its case and starts to flip through the photos from the night. You peer over her shoulder as you see shot after shot of yourself playing.

Damn, those are kinda good…

Every few photos she would pat your thigh to get your attention, sending a shiver up your spine as she would show you a particularly good shot. Much of the van ride was silent, apart from the few ‘ooo’s’ that would leave her mouth as she looked through her shots. 

As the van pulled up outside the hotel you all filed out, you and Josh being the last ones out. Summer walked ahead as you stayed back to try and get Josh to finish what he was trying to tell you earlier.

“Okay, tell me. What did you two talk about.” you ask.

He sighs as he answers, “Well… you.” 

You look ahead to find her, and see her walking into the elevator. “Yeah, and…” you urge.

The doors shut, leaving the two of you waiting for the next elevator. 

“I think it would be better if you heard it from her. She wants to talk, Jake. She told me.” he says.

The doors open to the elevator, and the both of you walk in, pressing the buttons for your respective floors, as the doors shut once again. 

“Okay but when?” you ask desperately. 

“I don't know Jake, but I think it will be soon.” he says, as the doors open on his floor. “Just be patient. Call me if you need me.” he says, stepping out and walking away.

God damnit. You were done being patient. Should you go to her? Should you wait for her to come to you?

Tapping your key card to your door you step inside and throw yourself onto the bed with a sigh. Fucking hell what an exhausting day.

As you lay there running your hands over your face you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Removing a hand from your face you reach into the pocket and retrieve your phone.

Summer 11:48pm : Some of us are going to the bar downstairs, wanna come?

You practically drained the mini bar last night, why not? Maybe Y/N will be there.

You 11:50pm: Sure, be there shortly.

Summer 11:51pm: :)

After a few minutes freshening up in the bathroom you make your way back down to the lobby and over into the bar. You see Danny and Summer sitting at the bar chatting and walk over to join them.

“Hey man, didn’t think you were gonna make it.” Danny says facetiously.

“Ahh Daniel… You know I can’t turn down a good stiff drink after a long show.” you laugh.

You take a seat next to Summer, and order a Glenlivet on the rocks, sipping the spicy liquid from the rim of the glass.

After a little rundown of the show the conversation quickly turns into Danny telling Summer every embarrassing story about you that he can come up with. Summer is full of laughter, patting your knee and smiling as she listens intently to Danny’s stories. 

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or exhaustion but, the more you got to talk to her and get to know her, you were starting to enjoy her company. She is kind of pretty…she has a great smile. 

You found yourself listening closer as she spoke, and genuinely laughing at her jokes. After two more scotch’s Daniel retired to bed, leaving you and Summer at the bar, still sipping away as the conversation flowed. 

As she grabbed her glass from the bar top, the condensation pooling under her fingers causing her glass to slip, spilling the mojito all over herself.

“Shit!” she exclaimed, grabbing the tiny cocktail napkins from the counter and pressing them to her now soaked shirt.

“Here let me grab you some more napkins.” you say reaching over the bartop.

“Actually, want me to run up and grab you a dry shirt? I have a few spares.” you offer.

Her eyes flash over to yours, “Are you sure you don't mind?”

“No, not at all.” you say, standing a little too quickly, causing your head to spin. 

“Actually, do you mind if I come with you? I’d love to be able to wash this off a little bit.” she asks.

“Uh, sure, no problem.” you say, leading the way.

She follows you into the elevator, her wet shirt clinging to her body, and you find that you’re having a hard time peeling your eyes away from her chest.

You swallow heavily as the doors open, and you let her walk out in front of you, telling her the room number as you make your way to the door. You tap your card to the lock, letting it open and guiding her inside. 

“Bathroom is right there, use anything you need.” you offer, walking over to your suitcase looking for a shirt. 

Finding the one you were looking for you turn around to see her stepping back out of the bathroom, but the wet shirt is gone, and she’s approaching you in just her bra. 

Fuck…

You quickly turn around, trying to give her privacy, only to be met with a giggle from across the room. 

“You don’t have to turn around Jake…I’m not shy…” she says.

“Just trying to give you some privacy.” you stammer.

“It’s just a bra, it’s not like I’m naked…” she laughs. “It’s okay, really. You can turn around. I know you want to…”

You press your lips together, biting them between your teeth as you turn to face her. She’s right. You do want to turn around. You hand her the t-shirt and like magnets, your eyes are drawn to her chest and the curve of her breasts spilling over her black bra. 

She watches you as you take her in, finding your mind wandering to a place you least expected it to. She slides the shirt over her head, never breaking eye contact with you as you step closer to her. 

“Well, how does it look?” she asks, stepping closer to you. 

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as you slide your hands around her waist. 

Her hands come to rest at the opening of your shirt, sliding up your chest and behind your neck.

“A perfect fit, I’d say. But I almost liked it better, off. ” you say, voice thick with lust.

She reaches down, grabbing the hem of the shirt, tossing it onto the bed behind you leaving her in just her bra in front of you.

Your thumbs circle the smooth skin of her stomach as she repositions herself in front of you, pulling your face closer to hers. 

“Better?” she whispered against your lips.

“Yeah, I think so.” you answer confidently, pressing your lips to hers, tasting the mint from her mojitos on her lips. You pull away quickly, testing the waters before kissing her again, this time a little harder. 

The kiss becomes more furious, your tongue tangling with hers as her hands wind into your hair. She steps backwards pulling you towards the bed, as you trail sloppy kisses down her neck and chest, pushing her towards the bed. 

“Did you like the pictures I took of you tonight, Jake?” she asked, voice thick with lust.

“Mmmmhm…” you groaned, as she fell beneath you.

She falls backwards as you kneel over her, trailing kisses over the curve of her breasts.

“You looked so good. So sexy. I couldn’t stop…” she breathes. 

She grabs your hand to place it over the cup of her bra, guiding you to grab at her curvy flesh. You return your mouth to hers, deepening the kiss, as your fingers slide the strap of her bra down her shoulder. 

“Do you want to fuck me Jake?” she asks in a breathy tone. 

Just as you go to answer her you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket again and you pull away from her and kneel on the bed, quickly looking to see who it was. 

Shit.

You look back to Summer, waiting for you to return your lips to hers, and answer her question. Right then you felt a pang in your chest. What are you doing? You are making a huge mistake. You stand up from the bed, adjusting your pants as you open the message. 

LD 12:03am : Hey, are you still up? Can we talk?

Your heart sinks into your stomach as you read it. No…Fuck. What shit timing. 

Your eyes flick back to Summer. She has to leave, right now.

Leaning away from her, you push yourself up off of the bed, fixing your shirt and wiping your lips. 

“I’m sorry, we can’t do this.” you say stepping back and pacing across the room. 

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“We work together, we can’t hook up. We shouldn’t have done this.” you answer. 

“What’s the big deal Jake? It doesn’t have to turn into anything. No one has to know. Can be our little secret.” she smirks.

“No. It can’t. You’re here to do your job, and I am here to do mine. If you’re not capable of that, I will find someone else to do it.” you say sternly.

She sits up, pulling the t-shirt over her head, covering herself back up as she stands up from the bed. “Damn I guess Y/N was right…did you turn her down too?” she asks sarcastically. 

“What?” you ask.

“Y/N told me not to bother with you, that you only cared about work. I thought she was just trying to scare me off… Guess she was right afterall. What a shame…” she says, grabbing her purse from the chair. 

She does care…

“Summer, you are a beautiful girl but this just can’t happen between us. I really am sorry, okay? I don’t want to hurt your feelings, I just think we need to keep things professional for the sake of the tour.” you say, trying your best to calm the fire. 

“Sure Jake…whatever you say… I’ll see you in the morning.” she says, shutting the door behind her. 

Oh my god, what a nightmare. 

How could you be so stupid? Worst of all you weren’t even enjoying it. 

You open the message reading it again. ‘Can we talk?’ Your mind was reeling. You were in no shape to try and talk to her, even though that’s all you wanted to do. The scotch was still working its way through your system, and you knew she deserved more than your half drunk confession. 

You needed to text her back. At least tell her you wanted to, just not tonight. You walked over to the mini bar, pulling out the only remaining bottles. Tequila. 

You walked over to the door, flipping the lock and kicking off your shoes. You stripped down to your boxers and made your way into the bed, mini bottles in tow. You twisted the lid on the first tossing it down as you reopened the text. What should you say?

Typing in the message you hover over the send button, but quickly delete the thought. No. That’s not right. 

You shoot down the next bottle and place it on the nightstand, turning off the lamp. You settle down into the pillows and push your hair from your face. Okay. Let’s try again. 

The screen was starting to become blurry as the tequila entered your bloodstream. You were having a hard time focusing and you could feel the sleep creeping into your body. Your eyes began to close as your thumb hovered over the button. 

Just send the message Jake. 

Just hit send. 

—

HER POV

The next morning, everyone began piling into the vans to head back home bright and early. Light chatter filled the cabin, everyone still feeling the effects of the long few days. Exhausted, you begin looking around to do another head count. It was starting to feel like you were a preschool teacher counting your students every 5 minutes. 

Most of the crew was accounted for…but of course, only ¾ of the actual band members. “Where is Jake?” You asked, walking over to them standing by the door of the van. 

“He’ll be here, you know how he is.” Josh said, not looking up from his phone. You glanced at the time, with a sigh.

“We don’t have time for that, we’re leaving in 15 minutes. I have to get the crew home, they have other places to be.” You spat, aggravated. You stood for another minute or two, and decided to take matters into your own hands. 

“Fine. I will go get him myself.” you said, making your way back inside. Luckily, you hadn’t turned in the keycards to the front desk. 

You make the trek up to his room, suddenly feeling anxious again as you approach the door. ‘Just use a key next time so I don’t have to get out of bed’ running through your mind. 

Well, I need him to get out of bed. You pressed the key to the lock, hearing it release. You closed your eyes, and took a breath. You put just your face inside the door, trying not to look around. 

“Jake? Hey… We gotta go, it’s time.” You said softly. 

Silence. 

You peeked inside a little more, seeing his hair splayed out on the bed. Still asleep, of course. 

You decided to walk in a little further, closing the door softly behind you. He had his back to the door, laying on his side. His body was wrapped around two or three pillows and he was in nothing but his black boxers. Your chest tightened at the sight. It felt strange seeing him this way, asleep and completely vulnerable. 

“Jake…” You tried again. Dead asleep. 

You walked around the other side of the bed, still feeling like you were intruding, but also taking in the sight of him. You had always loved watching him sleep, his features even more relaxed than they usually were. His eyelids jumping back and forth while he dreamed, his lips parted slightly as he breathed. You wondered what he was dreaming about, secretly wishing it was you. 

You would admit that you were upset that he didn’t text you back last night, but it was late, and he had to have been completely drained. But still you held out hope.

You came around to face his front, seeing that he still had his phone in his hand. He fell asleep reading my text? Maybe he had seen it? As you grabbed it from his hand you placed it on the nightstand, but it was then that you really took in the state of his room. Clothes everywhere, and tons of empty bottles lying scattered across the bedside table and floor. As realization hit you, your mood shifted leaving you angry and confused. What is wrong with him?

“JACOB!” You yelled, finally feeling bold enough to shake him physically on the arm. “Wake up! We’ve got to go!” 

His eyes finally began to open as he woke up. When he saw that it was you waking him up, the smallest smile formed on his face, melting you into a puddle. 

He finally opened his eyes all the way, and stretched his muscles, straightening his legs down the length of the bed revealing more of him than you ever thought you’d see this morning. 

“Mmm” he groaned, his face stretching into a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey, I’m sorry to wake you, but we’re running really late. I need you to get downstairs and loaded up.” you say.

His eyes widen, and he searches for his phone. “Shit, I’m sorry. I must’ve slept through my alarm.” He said, rolling off the other side of the bed and walking into the bathroom.

“You probably didn’t even set one, seeing as how you killed the mini bar again last night, hmm?” You said with bitterness in your voice. 

He breathed a sigh of agitation, with himself or with you, you weren’t sure. 

You gave him a second of privacy in the bathroom, and he stumbled back out into the room, holding his head. 

“Hungover?” You asked, already knowing the answer. You could spot hungover Jake a mile away. Definitely. 

“A little I suppose.” He spoke quietly, suddenly looking defeated. 

“Jake, I know everything’s...not really…okay right now. You just went through a bad breakup and...nothing’s ideal but, you seem off, and it’s only the start of the tour. I don’t want to interject, but I...I really don’t like seeing you like this. We all need you to take care of yourself, you know? This thing doesn’t work without you.” You said, speaking in white lies, but needing something to get him to talk a little. After all, you didn’t get to last night. 

He scoffed, picking up various items and throwing them in his suitcase while you stood watching. “Look, I had every intention of talking to you last night. But by the time you texted, I had already drank way too much…I was halfway asleep, and I…I don’t know. It felt...” he trailed off.

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for the rest. 

He conceded, “I don’t really know it just felt like the wrong time. I was…” he stalled. 

“Just one word, Jake. That’s all I need.” You spoke quietly. 

He hesitated hard, until he finally spoke, “Scared, I guess? Nervous?” 

You were lost for words. Why was he scared to talk to me? Had we really fallen that far away from each other? 

Your eyes met his for a second and your heartbeat began to race. “I don’t know. We can…talk about it later? Can you…can you just help me throw some of this shit in my bag so we can get out of here?” He asked, still rushing around in slow motion. 

You snapped away from your thoughts. “Yeah, sure.” 

You began picking up various clothing items from the floor, and as you made your way around the bed, you spotted something that looked out of place. Is that? You picked up a woman’s shirt from the floor, holding it up to inspect it. Your gut sank. This is what Summer was wearing last night. 

“This yours?” You asked, dangling the shirt from your finger. 

He turned around to see you holding it up, and he immediately let his head fall back as he sighed. “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right.” You tossed the shirt onto the bed, and felt your head become fuzzy with rage. Was anything he just said true? “I guess I see why you were scared to come and talk to me last night.”

He slowly walks over to you, “No…Y/N, I swear it’s not what it-”

“It’s not what it looks like?” you say cutting him off.  “Seeing your photographer’s shirt on your floor? I think it’s exactly what it looks like, Jake.” You were spitting fire towards him. You decided you needed to get out of that room as quickly as you could. 

“I’m sorry I interrupted your night.” You said with your back turned to him. “We’re leaving here in five minutes, with or without you.” and with that, you slammed the door shut behind you. 

JAKE POV

Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Oh fuck, what did I do? Do I go after her? Do I let her go? What the fuck was I thinking?

You quickly shove everything into your suitcase, cursing yourself with every movement. God damnit I have fucked up. 

Looking around the room to make sure you had everything you really took in the mess. The entire trash can was filled with mini bottles and they were scattered across every open surface. Shit. Maybe she was right. I do need to get my life together. 

You won her heart once, you knew you could do it again, and that's exactly what you were going to do. You had to.

Quickly pulling on whatever clean clothes you could find you zipped your suitcase and were rushing out the door, and downstairs to the van. 

As you made your way to the door, Josh threw it open and jumped out, helping you load your suitcase into the back. 

“The fuck man?” he asks.

“Didn’t set an alarm. My mistake.” you answer.

“Well, all the good seats are taken, so you’re in the back with me now.” he says, closing the back door. 

You slide into the van, eyes searching for Y/N, and finding her next to Sam in the middle row. She doesn’t look at you, or even acknowledge your presence, but you deserve it. You can’t even imagine what she’s thinking. As you settle into your seat you close your eyes trying to process the events of the morning. How it felt waking up to see her face. How normal it felt to have her there. How everything quickly shattered as she realized how messed up you were. How it got even worse when she found Summer’s shirt.

You wished you could go back. You wished you never went to the bar last night. If you had just waited, this morning could have been completely different…

“Hey Jake?” you hear the sound of Summer’s voice echo through the van. You were so lost in your head you didn’t even notice she was up front. Your heart sinks as you wait to hear what she has to say. 

You flick your eyes up to meet hers, raising your eyebrow. 

“Thanks for letting me borrow this last night.” she says, pulling the folded shirt from her bag. You practically stop breathing as you watch her hand it to Y/N. “Can you pass this back there?” she asks her. 

She hesitates as she grabs the shirt, turning back to you in what felt like slow motion.

Your eyes met hers, pleading with her as she spoke, “From Summer.”

Your arms don't even move to grab it as you stare at her. The thoughts in your brain are moving a mile a minute and you can't seem to catch even one. 

Josh grabs the shirt for you, throwing it into your lap. “Thanks.” he says, as Y/N turns back around, leaning her head on the van window. 

Could things get any fucking worse? Why the fuck did she have to do that? Why couldn’t she just give it to me later?

God. Y/N…Her face…she probably thinks we–

Fuck, I have to text her.

You quickly pull your phone from your pocket, bringing up her name, and opening the thread. Shock pulsing through your body as you look at the message you typed out last night, as it waited to be sent.

I never hit send. Oh she fucking hates me… I will never be able to explain this to her now.

You look up into the rearview mirror hoping to catch her eyes, but all you see is her staring blankly out of the window. You can tell she is in her head.

You 8:27am: It looks bad. I know it looks so bad. I can explain everything. All of it. Can we please talk when we get back?

You look back up watching her in the mirror as she glances down at her phone reading the message. You see the little crease in her eyebrows as she reads. The pain setting into her features. She sets her phone down and turns back to the window. 

Fuck.

You: 8:28am: Please don’t shut me out again. 

Your phone buzzes in your lap and you eagerly grab it hoping to see her name, but it's not her. It’s Josh.

Josh 8:29am: What the fuck did you do Jake?

You turned to look at him shaking your head as you replied. 

You 8:30am: Made the biggest mistake of my life.

Josh 8:30am: Did you fuck her?

You 8:31am: Fuck no. Of course not. It just looks like it. Y/N wont answer me. I don’t know what to do.

Josh 8:32am: For once I don’t know what to tell you.

You 8:32am: Do you think I blew it?

You watch him type, before quickly deleting it. He locks his phone and places it on his knee, sending you a sympathetic look. You knew what he was going to say. You could practically hear it in your own head. 

You reopen your thread with her, looking at your messages, marked as read. At least she is reading them. Taking a moment you collect your thoughts the best you can, giving it one last shot. 

You 8:40am: I get it. I wouldn’t answer me either. But I want you to know that I fell asleep last night alone, thinking about you. Trying to text you back. I typed it over and over, but I couldn't get it right.  I swear I’ve fallen asleep thinking about you every single night for the past 4 years, Y/N. Please, just give me a chance to explain.

You hit send delivering the message, and watching her in the rearview to see if she would read it. Lifting her head from the window you watch as her eyes look down, reading the message. You see her expression drop yet again, and her hand come up to her face trying to discreetly wipe away the tear slipping from her lash line. But you saw it. Even worse, you caused it.

You’re sure you felt your heart crack wide open at the sight. It was a pain you’d felt before. Similar to the day she left. A pain you swore you’d never let yourself feel again. But here you were, watching her in the rearview, begging for a chance to be hurt again. You’d rather be hurt by her, than not at all.

You could feel your own eyes welling with tears, and just as you were about to look away, her eyes met yours, bloodshot and full of tears. It was as if your world had momentarily stopped turning. You both sat there, eyes locked on each other, with not a word uttered between the two of you. Pure silence. The deafening kind. 

You didn’t have to say anything. You both knew how this ended.

.

.

.

.

.

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Chapter 11

Taglist:

@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@eyelinerjake @misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Well part 4 is long overdue. It’s been so so busy at work and honestly I was stuck for a while, but here it finally is! I hope you enjoy!

Pairings: Jake Kiszka X Danny Wagner **slash

Tags and warnings: 18+ ONLY!! Adult themes including: fear, anxiety, and jealousy, complicated partnerships, includes some Josh X oc, Sam finally appears, very little kissing (I know), male masturbation, dad Jake AU, uncle Danny AU

Word count: 4.4k

By the next Monday Jake strolled happily into work, ready to look over the profits and donations from Friday's event and make sure all the correct paperwork was done to start getting the money where it belonged.

“Hey” a quiet and familiar voice got Jake’s attention in the break room as he brewed a new pot of afternoon coffee.

Looking over he saw his colleague entering the break room as well. He said hi to her back as she opened the communal fridge and grabbed her lunch box out. “The concert was amazing, I heard everyone had a fantastic time”.

“That’s good to hear” Jake offered a soft smile as he filled his mug and leaned against the counter while his medical beverage cooled off.

“Did you have a good time?” She continued since she had taken a seat at the small round table and pulled out a bag of grapes to snack on.

It would be more awkward for them to both be in the small room together and not exchange pleasant conversation, so he answered her somewhat truthfully. He only hoped she wouldn’t bring up the surprise addition at the end, not having the heart to fully process that yet. “I did”, he sipped his coffee, debating how quickly he could excuse himself without coming off as an ass so he could get back to his work.

“That's good” she smiled, and Jake hoped he could make his break soon, but just before he could open his mouth she blurted out. “By the way, who was that guy you brought with you?”

Damn he missed his opening. “Oh, he’s sort of a friend of the family. I owed him one so…” he shrugged his shoulders casually and brought the mug back up to his lips so he wouldn’t have to say much more. The last thing he needed was rumors about his dating life spreading around the office.

“Is he single?”

Jake nearly choked on his coffee at her bold inquiry, causing her to blush.

“Sorry, he was just really cute. A few of the girls in the office have been talking about it all morning. His name was Danny right?”

So he’d introduced himself to a few of the office girls at the after party? It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him. Danny had watched the door like a hawk waiting for Jake to join them after gathering himself in the restroom. Jake could see the concern still sharpening his eyes, so he pulled on a smile and started mingling with his guests like nothing was wrong. Eventually Danny loosened up again, his bright smile returning so he socialized himself while Jake fulfilled his duties as host.

They weren’t the last to leave, a group having volunteered to stay behind and help clean up so Jake could pick up Luna and get her home, but nearly all the guests were gone by then. Jake snagged the two pieces of cake he’d set aside earlier and Danny offered to hold them in the car while Jake drove back.

Both of them seemed to be pretty tired of talking after the little party as they sat in silence during the drive. At a red light though Jake stole a glance in Danny’s direction, eyes falling to his lap where he held the tiny plastic plates in each hand.

Jake’s mind immediately floated back to when Danny held his hand not even an hour before. Thinking back on it he couldn’t believe the reaction that simple touch hand gave him. If they hadn’t been interrupted by Jake being caught off guard would he have let Danny kiss him?

He brought one of his hands from the steering wheel to his mouth, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. He tried to remember the last time he was even kissed- it was one of the first dates he’d been on since becoming single again. That’s right he’d walked her to the front door and she planted a kiss right on his lips, pulling away in embarrassment when he didn’t return it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her, they had a good date actually and she was really interesting, but he just didn’t feel that way towards her. The failed kiss solidified that.

What if it was the same way with Danny?

When Jake got home and put Luna to bed he was frustrated. He was stuck between two feelings, one being uncertainty about trusting someone he still barely even knew, and the other being aggravation at himself for not just giving in. His heart couldn’t be hurt anymore than it already had, right?

Maybe not, but apparently he could still get jealous.

Jake found it unprofessional that his colleague was asking her boss if his guest last night was single. Sure she couldn’t have known it was supposed to be a date, but it still made Jake mad.

Saving him from having to answer her, and probably with some stiff remark about focusing on work instead of talking about boys like he was parenting her, Jake’s cell rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw it was Sam calling.

“Sorry, I have to take this”. He grabbed his mug and sped walked back to his office, shutting the door behind himself as he answered on the last ring. “What’s up Sammy?”

“Jake! Where are you? What are you doing right now?” He quickly bombarded him like whatever he had to call about was extremely important.

“I’m at work, why what’s going on?” He set his mug down on his desk, but stayed standing up to prepare him for whatever Sam was about to drop on him. Knowing him it could be anything, he just hoped he hadn’t been arrested again at the very least.

“I know how you feel about social media, but you need to get on the ‘gram now”.

Jake sighed, what could possibly be on Instagram that Sam had to call him in the middle of the work day? He switched his phone to speaker though and pulled up the app anyways. “Alright, what am I looking for?”

“Josh’s story!”

Jake hadn’t heard from Josh since his trip started a few days ago, but he wasn’t surprised to see he was still posting online as he clicked the little bubble and the video started playing. First it was Josh’s partner, trying to get the frame set up until Josh walked into the picture. It looked like they were at a balcony restaurant on the beach, Josh completely unaware of the phone recording as his partner got down on one knee in front of him.

“Jake? Did you find it?” Sam asked after a minute of silence.

“Shut up yes I’m watching it right now” Jake replied, covering the smile on his face as he watched his twin get proposed to miles away.

He had no idea, but it wasn’t like everyone in Josh’s circle wasn’t expecting it for some time now. Josh and his partner had been together for years, and although they always seemed content with the life they’d quietly built together, Jake could tell Josh always secretly desired more. Seems like his partner had seen the same thing in him.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Jake finally spoke once the two on the screen hugged and kissed and the video ended.

“No, not yet I called you first”.

“Okay hold on I’m adding him”. Jake switched back to the call screen and hit the add line button, Josh’s contact being the only favorite in his phone.

They waited silently until he picked up.

“Hello brothers!” Josh cheerfully answered.

“Congratulations!” Sam beat Jake to the punch, encouragement filling his over-excited voice. “Have you made plans already? When’s the big date? Color scheme? Oh! Do you have an officiant in mind yet because I can go online and-”

Josh’s laugh cut Sam off, “we’ve been making plans, though I had no idea the proposal was coming so soon. Thinking next spring so we still have a lot of time”.

“We’re proud of you Josh. This is amazing” Jake added, knowing Josh was sure to already have everything planned out in his head and the biggest obstacle was going to be figuring out how to make his vision come to life.

“Yeah it’s about time Josh, don’t know what took you guys so long”.

Josh forced out another chuckle that died off quickly, he knew Sam didn’t mean anything by it. How could he know the fear and anxiety surrounding being out and open, let alone declaring that on paper to a government that barely even supported you? “Well, it’s a good thing we’ve already had one wedding in the family. Don’t know how I’m going to top yours Jake” Josh steered the conversation elsewhere, more at the benefit of himself and less at the comfort of his twin.

“Oh I’m sure you will come up with something” Jake matched Josh’s forced chuckle. He was beyond happy for him, but he couldn’t shake the gnawing in his gut as he remembered his own wedding day. How nervous he was, but Josh was right there by his side, his best man, holding his hand until he turned around and saw the most beautiful bride he’d ever laid eyes on. Now he’d have the opportunity to do the same.

It felt like such a distant memory, so much had changed in him between now and that lovestruck boy in the past. Marrying young hadn’t bothered him, but it had speedrolled his life. Wife, kid, house, job, it all came one after another and now here he was years later, alone. The sacrifices he’d made to be here, he’d make them again in a heartbeat, but he was slowly starting to realize how much he’d missed out on.

“Thanks for calling guys, but I’ve got a fiancé waiting for me in our room” Josh spoke again. “Wow, I really like the way that sounds, fiancé”.

“Go get em!” Sam hollered back.

They said their goodbyes and each hung up one by one. Jake stared at his phone screen, now blank and reflecting his face back to him in the black.

He knew how much this meant to Josh, it was something Jake had once taken for granted. If there was anything life had taught him it was that you couldn’t take things for granted. And if there was anything Josh had taught him it was that sometimes, despite your fear, you had to take matters into your own hands and fight for what makes you happy.

There was no real way of knowing how it would all turn out, but maybe a simple leap of faith is what Jake needed to feel happiness again, and when he pondered what the one thing was that might possibly make him happy the first thought he had was Danny.

Jake unlocked his phone again and opened the text thread he’d yet to delete, because he hadn’t the nerve to save the contact yet.

Hi

12:58PM

He didn’t expect to get anything back quickly, especially in the middle of the day, so he set his phone face down on his desk and tried to ignore it as he got to work. Within half an hour it was buzzing against the polished wood and Jake was snatching it up to check the notification.

Hi

1:25PM

Do what do I owe this pleasure?

1:26PM

I was just thinking about the other night

Wanted to apologize for our date being a bust

1:28PM

I don’t think it was

but I’m glad you were thinking about it

1:28PM

Jake smiled at his phone, he knew it was ludicrous to think Danny hadn’t reached out to him since then because he’d had a bad time. In all reality Danny had just been giving him the space he thought he needed, the space Jake had been drowning in.

I accept your apology though

Make it up to me? Dinner tonight?

1:29PM

Tonight? I’ll have to find a sitter

1:29PM

Bring Luna over here

Im watching Emma tonight

1:30PM

He thought for a moment, worried about being invited over to Danny’s sister’s house without her being there. Then he stopped himself, this was exactly the thinking that kept him from exploring this part of himself that was desperately trying to break free of the confines he’d created.

Ok. We will come over after homework

1:35PM

Great! See you then

1:36PM

“Daddy, how did you get so good at reading?” Luna asks as she traced the letters over her sight word while Jake finished sending off some last minute emails for the day.

“It takes a lot of practice darling” Jake replied, looking up from his phone with a gentle smile. “That’s why you have to do your homework”.

“But what if I don’t like reading?” She frowned, picking up another colored pencil and frustratedly scribbling on the page.

“Well, some people don’t” he stuffed his phone back into his pocket and crouched down at her tiny table. “Some people love reading though. You just have to find what you like to read”.

“What do you mean?” She was intrigued now, abandoning the homework now that she had his attention, which was almost done anyways.

“There’s all sorts of things to read out there. It’s called genres. There’s romance stories about love, scary stories about ghosts and monsters, nonfiction about history and science, but most fun of all there’s fantasy”.

“What is fantasy daddy?” Without even knowing she seemed excited, like the prospect of learning to read was suddenly more fun and interesting.

“Fantasy is anything you want it to be sweetheart. It’s princes and princesses, witches and wizards. When you’re reading you travel to other worlds, different times, anything is possible as long as you can imagine it with your mind”. He poked her forehead, causing her to giggle. “Now, are you ready?”

She perked up, having been kept in the dark about the plans Jake made earlier for tonight, otherwise there’s no way he would have gotten her to focus on the half of her homework she did do. “For what!”

“We’re going to eat dinner at Emma’s house. Is that okay with you?”

“Yay!” She jumped out of her chair, running back into her room to grab her shoes. When she returned she had a book with her, holding it up in question. “Can I bring this to Emma’s house? I want to practice reading with her”.

“Of course. Do you want me to carry it for you?”

“No, I got it” with her Dad’s approval she marched off towards the front door, ready to make the familiar trip to the house just a couple of blocks over.

When they reached the house, Jake collected himself as he stepped onto the porch. With one hand he held the book, having taken over carrying it not even halfway through the walk, the other coming up to knock hard enough those inside could hear.

After a few moments of waiting, Danny answered the door with Emma right at his side.

“Luna! Uncle Danny is making spaghetti!” She excitedly grabbed her friend's hand and tugged her inside, the two adults chuckling at their enthusiasm.

“Do you like spaghetti?” Danny asked as he stepped aside and let Jake in. Jake nodded, suddenly feeling insecure about being here again. He’d been over at this house more than a dozen times, had plenty of dinners and parties and barbecues, but this was the only time he’d ever been over without Emma’s parents here. It was also the first time, besides the two children that ran circles around their feet in the kitchen until they were being sat at the dinner table, he’d be alone with Danny since the chance encounter at the auto shop.

“This is our mom’s recipe” Danny mentioned once they were all sitting down and enjoying the dinner he’d made. “Don’t really know how to make much else”.

“It’s delicious” Jake replied, using the napkin to wipe his mouth after one embarrassing large bite. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he smelled the tomato based sauce simmering on the stove. “I didn’t really know how to cook either. But you know once you’re a hot single dad you kind of have to figure that stuff out”.

Danny nearly choked on a noodle, not expecting Jake to unexpectedly turn his previous words back on him like that, especially not around the kids who were in their own little world at the other end of the table. “I like cooking now. Gives me a way to be creative again”.

“Is Luna not picky?” Danny pretended like he was unphased and continued the conversation. “Emma is the pickiest eater. I’m surprised she’s even eating this right now”.

“I think it’s because you made it. She’s infatuated with you, talks about Uncle Danny every time I see her”.

Danny swallowed hard again, he didn’t know he was so popular. “I hope she didn’t say anything about me falling out of the tree last week”.

Jake chuckled, what was his tall ass doing in a tree? “No, she didn’t, but I kind of want to see this tree now”.

“You can after dinner. It’s in the backyard”.

They smiled at each other as they worked towards finishing their meal, listening as the girls shared the best part of school today.

“Alright, who wants popsicles?” Danny asked, raising his eyebrows at Jake like he’d even be able to tell his daughter no after they’d already been offered. Jake nodded and Danny let them pick the flavor they wanted before he led them outside into the grass so they wouldn’t have to clean up colorful sticky drops all over the house.

“Alright, come on I have something else I want to show you” Danny grabbed Jake’s hand and tugged him away from the tree he’d fallen out of while trying to hang a swing for Emma. Jake glanced back, making sure the girls were still playing in the small plastic house tucked in the corner of the large yard, then back ahead to see where Danny was leading them.

“Been working on this for a while now, thing was in pieces when I got it”. Danny opened the doors to the shed and inside was a motorcycle sitting on a stand, halfway between looking old and rusted and glossy new black.

“Umm, it’s still in pieces” Jake chuckled as he stepped further inside to get a better look.

“Is not!” Danny corrected him, “I just have the body panels off the frame so I can refinish them. Should be done by the end of the week”.

“Is that so?” Jake ran his fingers against the metal frame, imagining how it must vibrate when the two wheeled vehicle roared to life.

“You’ve ridden before?”

“What? No” Jake pulled his hand away shyly, looking back over to Danny who watched him closely.

“Well, maybe this weekend I can give you a ride?”

Jake’s eyes grew wide, a nervous smile spreading in an attempt to hide his apprehension. “Oh I don’t think so. Who knows what my neighbors would think if they saw me taking off on the back of a motorcycle with some guy…”

He trailed off as Danny approached him with a purposeful look in his eye. Taking Jake’s hand into his again, he brought it to his lips to softly kiss at his knuckles. “What does it matter what they think? And you wouldn’t be on the back of a motorcycle with some guy, it’d be me”.

Jake opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing came out. He wanted to joke around, say something like well that’s comforting but the truth was the idea of being pressed up against Danny’s back like that made his mind spin, and watching Danny’s lips brush against the back of his hand was not helping his train of thought.

“Ok, so no ride. I still want to see you this weekend”. Danny noticed the way Jake’s focus shifted to his mouth and he swore he could even see Jake’s tongue dart out to wet his own lips. “Really I want to see you all the time, but I can be patient”.

Jake sucked in a shuddering breath, his heart speeding as he processed the words coming from this ruggedly handsome, yet ever so gentle man before him. “Yeah, I’d like that. This weekend?”

“Jake?” Danny’s brows furrowed, making the beating in Jake’s chest palpitate. “Can I kiss you?”

Frozen in place, Jake waited on baited breath as Danny let one hand go and slid his fingers against his neck, weaving them into the tresses of hair at the back of Jake’s head so tightly it pulled at the scalp, but that only caused Jake to tilt his head back and let his eyes flutter closed.

Breath came first as Danny moved to close the gap between them, but before their lips could connect a cry came from the backyard. They both snapped to attention, running over to where the girls had been playing and seeing Luna had fallen and skid her knee.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked as he helped her up.

“Yeah” she sniffled, wiping her tears from her cheeks as she got over the initial shock of the injury.

Emma clung onto Danny’s leg, scared that she may have hurt her friend since she was pushing her in the swing.

“Come on, why don’t we show Luna where our band aids are?” Danny bent at the waist and scooped up his niece, carrying her inside as Jake followed with his little one.

“Oh I can do that” Jake tried to squeeze himself into the small bathroom that was filled with small human sized towels and a mermaid shower curtain. Danny set Emma down on the stool used to reach the sink and called Luna over to sit on the toilet as he pulled out a box of unicorn bandaids.

“Do you like unicorns?” Danny asked, Luna being shy and still a little upset, but she looked at the images on the box and nodded her head. “Ok, first we have to clean this up then we can put one of these on, okay?”

He had Emma help him wet a wash cloth from the cupboard and he gently dabbed the small amount of blood off before applying a thin layer of antibacterial ointment.

“Do you want to tell Luna you’re sorry and help her with the bandaid?”

Jake watched the entire time from the doorway, impressed with how easily Danny managed to console them both. “I’m sorry Luna” Emma apologized and Danny helped her peel off the backing of the adhesive before she easily stuck it to the hurt knee.

“It’s okay, it was an accident. I wanted to jump off the swing anyways” Luna finally smiled again, hopping off the toilet without any issues.

“Alright, are you ready to head home? I think it’s about time we got ready for bed” Jake asked as he took her hand again and started to lead her towards the front door.

“Wait, I left my book!” Emma exclaimed, turning around in his grip to run off towards the dining room.

“I’m sorry” Danny spoke quickly while he still had a moment with Jake. “I was distracting you and Luna got hurt”. He looked genuinely upset, but Jake wasn’t bothered by it at all.

With all the courage he had in his body, Jake placed a hand against Danny’s upper arm and leaned over to press a quick kiss to the corner of Danny’s mouth. Before Danny could even register what was happening Jake was stepping away and Luna was returning. “It’s okay, kids get hurt. She’s fine though, right princess?”

“Yeah, I’m fine” she assured them both, waving goodbye to Emma who had just re-emerged from the bathroom.

“I’ll see you later then?”

Danny felt like pulling Jake back against him, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders and kissing him to pieces, but he held himself back. Maybe when they did see each other again he could manage to get him alone once more, and he could satisfy a bit of that craving. “Can’t wait”.

Jake was feeling just as tired as any other Monday when they got back home and Luna bathed and settled in bed. After a quick shower himself he laid down underneath his own covers, trying to go to sleep despite the rushing thoughts he had in his mind.

He kissed Danny. Well not really, more like pecked him on the cheek just a little closer to his mouth than a regular friend would. With his eyes closed he played over the scene in the shed over and over in his head, each time imagining in a different way how Danny would have kissed him.

Would he have delicately graced his lips across his the same way he tenderly held his hand? Or would he have vigorously taken command of them the way he gripped him by the hair?

It started to grow unbearably hot underneath in his sheets as Jake couldn’t rid himself of the fantasy of Danny kissing him until he frustratedly threw the covers off and reached his hand down and slipped his finger beneath his waistband. Once he took himself in his grip he stroked a few times before realizing how turned on he actually was. Using his other hand he tugged his sleeping pants down past his fist so he could get a better angle and speed, closing his eyes again as he panted softly.

When was the last time he’d touched himself like this? Couldn’t have been that long ago, but as the desperation grew with each haphazard flick of his wrist he knew something was different this time. He wasn’t just touching himself, but he was imagining he was reaching the edge at the hands of someone else.

Stuck in his fantasy, Jake brought his free hand up to his head, raking his fingers through his hair at the crown and tightened both his grips. He stifled a moan as he came, letting his hand come to rest on his heaving chest. He’d need to process that at some point, but it certainly wasn’t going to be tonight as he padded off into his bathroom to quickly clean himself up then tucked himself back into bed, finally able to sleep.

Tags: @gracev0609 @lipstickitty @kultavalo @lyndz2names @sanguinebats

[red-velvet-0w0]

INTRO POST

Im just a silly little person with an ocean obsession who lives in your phone.

My names are Erin/Eris/Eve/Jess/Red (Erin or Eris is preferred, but I'm fine with any of them)

She/They preferred, but you can call me anything so long as it is NOT he/him (on the same note, if you call me man/dude/bro/guy I will flood your house)

Im a minor (17 years old), and am trans and a Massive Lesbian

proud Californian 😎🇺🇸🦅 (or at least as proud as you can be of california because dear god this state and this country is an absolute joke but hey its better than florida right? at least is some aspects?) (/j /lh)

If you're a terf, a homophobe, or a pedophile: go away please okay? Otherwise pretty much anybody is welcome here so long as you arent hurting anybody

Im an artist, animator, and a game designer (i have a youtube and an itch.io page but neither of them have much on them) (im uh. not quite as good at finishing projects as i am at starting them)

I have an alt account @red-gamedev-0w0 which is where i post about games im working on.

my DMs, asks, and anons are always open if you wanna be silly, and honestly it really makes my day when i get a message. only rules are no anon hate (if you send me any anon hate i will either just delete the message or mock you, you wont actualy make me feel sad so dont bother) and no being horny (unless we know each other and thats how we interact, or unless you send me a message saying "hey im going to say something that might be horny to you if youre comfortable" as a heads up)

I have a silly little OC universe, please please please please please ask me to infodump to you about them please I am begging you.

I AM VERY STRONGLY AGAINST AI ART. (and just. generative AI in general) (yes that includes chat gpt and character AI)

I am... incredibly normal about the ocean. I have healthy and reasonable emotions I feel when i think about it. dont question why "erins ocean posting" is one of my most used tags its totaly healthy trust me (is it a religious thing? a sexual thing? a gender thing? you will literaly never know)

The fandoms im in are: Tiger Tiger, Aurora Webcomic, The Mechanisms, Life Series, Hermitcraft, Mineraft, Terraria, Hollow Knight, Celeste, Hades, Camp Here And There, Murder Drones, The Magnus Podcasts, Epic the Musical, Hello From the Hallowoods, Witherburn After School News, Dont Hug Me Im Scared, The Locked Tomb, Hatchetfield, Centaurworld, Amphibia, Epithet Erased, Kid Vampire, and Bigtop Burger (+ a few more but those are the ones you'll see the most of) (Red means highly likely to post about it, purlple means very unlikely to post about it often)

#1 Killers fan (their best album is Sams Town and the best song is Bones and thats a fact)

I really, really hate Dantes Inferno and the Sierpinski triangle

Id love to be friends, enemies, or really anything in between if you let me.

Tags I use (in case you want to block them):

#erins cryptic ramblings (generic tag)

#erins ocean posting (for ocean related posts)

#axe and erins dnd bullshit (for when im talking about dnd with one of my mutuals)

#the forever day (my OCs)

#erin answers asks (self explanitory)

#erin talks about life /#erin complains about life (also self explanitory)

#erins tumblr ad saga (my compilation of all the worst ads this hellsite has to offer)

#erins coding adventures (for whenever im posting about making a game)

And that’s about it!

Nice to meet you!

[melswifeasf]

Find my way back to you pt 2

previous chapter || next chapter || series page

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!OC

Summary: Sam and Estelle met eight years ago after Sam stupidly takes harder drugs than she can handle.

Warning: Drug use and cursing

notes: this was a bit more boring than i expected but this is how they met! pls lmk what you guys would like to see more of:)

word count: 3034

“yo, come on” Elias called for his sister as she approached him slowly. the muscular boy was sitting on the hood of ‘69 Mustang in the parking lot of the school as he smoked a cigarette. he was sitting with his two friends, Alex and Xavier among them sat their girlfriends who were all chatting with one another.

the three boys each were tall with dark hair and tattoos littered around their body. typical cliche gang bangers yet all of their girlfriends were either on the cheer time or live in the rich side of town. probably the most cliche part of it all was the fact that they even surrounded themselves with drug dealers like them.

Estelle rolled her eyes, “why the fuck do you even make me carry it?” she said annoyed as she took off her black backpack and threw it on the ground in front of her brother.

Elias and Alex were the only ones with cars. Alex had an up to date Yellow Mustang that he loved to show off at any moment and time. they were all seniors although they were barely even in class which confused Estelle on how they planned to graduate.

“cause the cops are up my ass lately. they ain’t ever gonna check you” he said with a chuckle. Estelle rolled her eyes again as she moved his brother to the side so she could sit beside him, the blonde on his left sending glares toward her, only fueling her annoyance.

she never liked Anna, she was head of the cheer team and always made her existence fucking miserable the moment she came out her freshman year, now a year later she bit her tongue but that mostly had to do with the fact that Elias would kill anyone who made any comments toward his sister. Estelle always preferred Elias ex girlfriend, Natalia, but they had broken up a year ago when he first got arrested for jumping two guys who wouldn’t pay him the money they owed him.

she missed her. Natalia had been her only friend, everyone else was too afraid to even talk to her, the fear of her brother fucking them up or being around someone as dangerous as him made her a people repellent.

she only ever talked to her girlfriend Valerie but they were off and on every other week so the feeling of being alone all the time never really went away.

“whatever” Estelle scoffed, “hurry up. i have to get to class” she said crossing her arms and tapping her pointer finger against her hand rapidly. she was nothing like her brother, unlike him, she wanted, needed to get a good education so she could get the fuck out of Woodsboro. it’s not that she hated the small town but her name had been trashed around for years, for reasons she never cared to talk about.

“chill. i just gotta sell these and you’re free to go” he said holding up a small ziplock bag with three pills inside. she knew what they were instantly causing her eyes to widen.

“since when do you fucking sell Oxy?” she said in a low and rushed tone. her eyes searched the parking lot to make sure there wasnt anyone looking. the only person she saw was a raven haired girl walking toward them.

the girl had on a black jacket with a white crop top underneath, her toned stomach was slightly peaking out of it and her jeans hugged her curves like nothing Estelle had ever seen before.

she swallowed silently as she watched the girl approach them slowly.

“since someone’s willing to pay double it’s worth”he said with a smirk. the dark haired girl was standing in front of them seconds later.

“one-fifty, right?” she asked. she didn’t seem nervous or fidgety meaning this wasn’t her first time buying from him. she must know one-fifty for three fucking pills was ridiculous but then again she must’ve been desperate to buy them.

“yeah” Elias said, his eyes surveyed the area around them in one quick motion before he reached his hand out and grabbed the money at the same time that he placed the small bag in the girls hand.

it was then that Estelle realized she knew who she was. Samantha Carpenter, she was in the same grade as her and they shared two classes together. she never pegged her as a junkie but that seemed to happen a lot ever since Elias made her hold his drugs. since then she was always there for the dealings and she had seen a lot of rich kids as well as shy and nerdy people buy from him which surprised her greatly.

Sam nodded as she looked down at the bag to make sure it was all there before she moved her hand and put it in her jacket pocket. she was about to turn and leave when she turned toward Estelle, her eyes stopping on her as they trailed up and down her body in one full swoop.

Estelle raised a brow at her, confused on why she was still standing around. Sam took one last look at her before turning her body and walking away.

Estelle isn’t sure why her heart began to race when Sam looked at her the way she did or why her hands began to feel clammy or even why she felt her face heat up, either way she didn’t want to know.

“whatever. i’m leaving” Estelle announced as she pushed herself off of the car and walked away.

“have a good day baby sis!” Elias called out causing Estelle to hold her hand up and give him the finger without turning. she heard her brother laugh along with his friends which made her lips curve into a small smile.

two hours before school was over Estelle was in the bathroom fixing up her makeup. she applied her lipgloss carefully before she looked at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked good. once she was done she put the tube inside her makeup bag and zipped it.

her day was pretty basic, she took notes and tried her best to finish her homework so she wouldn’t have to worry about it later and have the time to see her girlfriend.

just as she was about to leave the bathroom the door swung open and a certain raven haired girl threw herself inside, her body colliding with the wall before she laughed.

Estelle pinched her eyebrows together as she quickly rushed toward the girl. she expected to see the look like she was in pain considering how harsh her body hit the wall but instead Sam looked dazed a lazy grin on her lips as she laughed softly.

she was completely out of it.

“fuck” Estelle whispered as she tried to have Sam supper her body on her own. “are you good?” she asked softly hitting the hispanic girl on her arm.

“i’m fucking amazing” she breathed out.

Estelle shook her head, “come on, i’m taking you home” she said as she grabbed Sams arm and swung it over her shoulder. the hispanic girl didn’t seem to mind as she laid her head on Estelle’s shoulder.

the shorter girl tried her best to ignore the nervous feeling she got in her stomach at the action as she tried her best to walk out of the school without being caught by administration. although her brother was ever teachers worst nightmare, they all had a soft spot for Estelle and she did not want that to change by being caught for ‘cutting class’. god, why the fuck would she do drugs during school hours?

the pair reached the exit of the school in enough time that none of the administrators were able to see them. Sam was saying incoherent things and laughing at her own words making Estelle hush her every couple of seconds.

Estelle reached for the back of her pocket and pulled out her car keys. unlike her brother she own a beat up Camry that she had bought with her own money whilst working at the theatre during the summer.

the shorter girl gripped the handle of the passenger side door and opened it, slowly and carefully she helped Sam inside.

“can you put your seatbelt on?” Estelle asked as she was bent down so she was at eye level with the girl.

Sam shook her head, "can you put your seatbelt on?" she shot back.

Estelle huffed angrily, "lean back" she said as she reached across the taller girls body with the seatbelt in hand and clicked it in. once she was securely inside Estelle pulled away and stood. as soon as the door closed Sam leaned her head against it and closed her eyes.

this is not how Estelle was hoping to spend her day and yet here she was, driving a stranger home because she took too many fucking pills. her brother would be hearing about this.

she took a deep, exasperated breath and walked to the drivers side. she opened the door and got inside, immediately putting the key inside the ignition and turning the car on. it wasn't too hot or too cold, the crisp fall air making it so you'd only need a jacket but Sams body temperature was abnormally warm and she did not need to have an incident where she needed to take her to the hospital or something worse.

"i need to know where you live" Estelle said and turned her body to face Sam. the girl didn't budge, her chest rising and falling evenly hinting that she was most definitely sleeping. Estelle cursed silently as she pulled out her phone and went to her brothers messages.

Sis: where does Sam live?

fuckface: who tf is Sam?

Sis: r u serious? the girl u literally sold drugs to two hours ago???

fuckface: ohhhh lmao. idk some rich neighborhood. i think i got the address let me check.

Estelle tapped against the steering wheel impatiently as she waited for her brother to text back. she glanced at Sam periodically to see if she would wake up but she was completely knocked out.

shit.

Estelle reached over the console and placed two fingers on the girls neck to search for a pulse, a breath of relief leaving her lips as she felt it pounding heavily against her fingers.

Estelle had never really dabbled in drugs, at least not hardcore ones. she would sometimes smoke weed with her brother or at parties but that wasn't all that often. she just never saw the hype. the first time she smoked weed made her have a full on panic attack so every time she smoked now, she made sure it was way less than what she had done that time. she didn't care much to judge others for doing them but if she could choose between having them in her life or not, she'd choose the latter. she hated that her brother sold them, in fact she had tried to convince him to get a real job with her instead but he always said no. selling drugs made him way more money than a regular nine-to-five. plus he didn't have to get off his lazy ass and do much in Estelle's opinion.

the girl drove in silence, the radio turned off as she followed the map on her screen. she arrived at her destination ten minute after leaving the parking lot.

once she pulled up, she looked out the window in slight awe. the house wasn't huge but it was nice, extremely so. it looked like the typical suburban home, the kind you see in movies with two loving parents and their kids. dinner every night and breakfast before school and work, the kind in which they have family game/movie nights and they spend their summer time at some island. all of the things Estelle had never seen.

she sighed softly as she turned toward Sam and shook her awake, it took her a couple of seconds until she finally stirred.

"five more minutes" she groaned softly causing Estelle to roll her eyes, a small almost nonexistent smile ghosting her lips.

"come on. we're at your house" Estelle said. once she said those words Sam jumped and looked at her surrounding.

"how did i get here?" she asked and snapped her head toward Estelle. the young girl could tell she was still high by the way her eyes were shinning and how erratic she looked. she just seemed a bit more sober compared to when she stumbled into the bathroom.

"i drove. probably shouldn't give your address to your dealer. come on, you need to get out" Estelle said as she took the girls seatbelt off.

Sam shook her head and whined softly, "no. i don't want to"

Estelle closed her eyes as she breathed in and out as she tried to calm her anger. she didn't want to be babysitting a fifteen year old girl but it looked like she didn't have much of a choice. the house looked empty, no cars on the road or the driveway signaling no one was home. she could just have Sam go inside on her own but there was still the very prominent fact that Sam was high off of her ass and she couldn't barely walk with Estelle's help, let alone without it.

"fine" Estelle sighed out and took off seatbelt impatiently. she yanked the keys out of the ignition and opened the door in own swift motion. a few steps and she reached the passenger side with Sam peering up at her. she opened the door softly, careful so that Sam wouldn’t be leaning against it and fall out. Estelle pointed at the seatbelt, “can you take it off?”

Sam looked down at where Estelle had pointed and nodded. she did so slowly and once it was off Estelle held her hand out. Sam looked at it curiously and slowly her eyes met hazel ones. Estelle sighed again.

“come on, you can barely walk” with that much of an explanation Sams hand slowly landed on Estelle’s where she shifted all her weight and got out of the car. Estelle helped her as she gripped onto the end of her arm and held her stance firmly.

once the taller girl was standing upright, Estelle closed the car door behind her and locked it with her key before putting it in her back jean pocket. the action reminded her of something she hadn’t thought about beforehand, “do you have keys?” she asked hope laced in her voice. otherwise she had no idea what to do.

Sam nodded as her free hand moved behind her body and into her back pocket, the sound of keys jangling grabbing Estelle’s attention. Sam said nothing as she handed Estelle the keys.

the walk to the door was slow but a lot more steady compared to the walk to the car at school. Sam wasn’t laughing and talking to herself, instead she was extremely focused on getting one foot in front of another.

at the door Estelle tried two different keys before she finally got the right one, she pushed it inside the lock and moved it to the right, the sound of it unlocking reaching her ears. she carefully reach for the doorknob and twisting it, once so she pushed it open.

instantly she was hit with a scent of vanilla and a slight earthy aroma much like what Sam smelled like - not that she was paying attention. obviously.

Estelle helped Sam go inside first before she followed. the two girls were inside and Estelle closed the door behind her, locking it in the process. “where’s your room?” she asked craning her neck as much as she can to look at Sam.

Sam motioned upstairs earning a nod from Estelle. she walked toward it, telling Sam to hold onto the railing with her other hand and take one step at a time. once they were at the top she stopped and waited for Sam to tell her where to next.

soon they were in the girls room and Estelle tried her best to not look around and seem nosy. she wasn’t Sams friend and she did not care about who she was. all she was doing is simply helping a person in need. that’s all.

“come on” Estelle said as she took Sams arm off of her shoulder and practically shoved her on the bed. Sam didn’t protest as she immediately cuddled into her pillow.

“you gonna be okay?” Estelle asked.

Sam moaned, “yeah” she sighed.

“great” Estelle said simply and began to walk toward the door and get the fuck home so she could get ready for cheer practice when a small almost unintelligible groan reached her eardrums.

she groaned silently and looked up. fuck.

she quickly turned around and saw Sam with her eyes closed and a small frown on her lips. why couldn’t she be like her brother and not give a fuck about what happened to her?

with a slight eye roll she approached the bed and began to unlace Sams boots. she did one at a time before she took them both off and placed them on the ground softly, careful to not make noise. once done she grabbed the blanket thrown on the bed and placed it on Sams sleeping body. the girl stirred a little but slowly her breath began to even out once more.

if she was this out of it, it’s likely she wouldn’t be remembering anything about that day let alone how she got home. without another option Estelle walked toward the desk with a closed laptop and books along with notebooks littered around messily. she grabbed the black notebook and ripped a page out before reaching for a pen. she scribbled something down and placed it on the girls nightstand.

once done she walked out of the room without another glance back.

i brought you home cause you’re high as fuck. drink water and don’t you dare take anything else until you’re feeling normal again.

-Estelle

[aurorialwolf]

SO! Next installment of my series of posts detailing the ocs I made up for the next gen of redacted characters (aka the kids of redacted characters) At the time of writing this, the dynamic of Samuel Jr. and Adrian is winning on the poll I posted! Samuel Jr. is the kid of Sam & Darlin in my AU-ish thing, and Adrian is the son of Alexis Getty! Link to my in-detail info dump about Samuel: https://www.tumblr.com/aurorialwolf/757447421698654208/yall-ever-heard-of-epigenetics-okay-mildly?source=share Cutoff so that it doesnt make a super long post on ppls dashes

For starters, I am going to write out what I think needs to be known about Adrian for all this to hit home properly, I may make a longer post about him if I feel this doesn't cover it but thats for later - Full name: Adrian Getty - Ranking in the House: Duke - Son of Alexis Getty, he is the result of a fling between her and a man from another clan (this makes him literally an official bastard) - He vehemently dislikes his mother, as they have a very unhealthy relationship, considering how, like Samuel, he was turned by his own blood (except fully), and therefore, Alexis counts as his maker, and invokes him as a disciplinary measure. William has not stopped this, because he is unaware. - I have anon asks off so if u really love Alexis im sorry but u cant yell at me for this - He is a guard for Emily Solaire, daughter of William Solaire, mostly as a formality, and to give him a purpose within the clan. Now! Onto the actual dynamic Imagine that your child, and your ex's child, meet each other, and decide to continue your feud. That's how it feels for poor ol' Sam. Samuel and Adrian hate each other. Sort of. Adrian hates Samuel, but Samuel thinks it's really funny.

- They take turns provoking each other, and end up trying to beat each other up.. in front of multiple vampiric nobles.. not a great look for their parents - It's kind of gay? hear me out- - Samuel flirts a lot with Adrian, provoking him into sparring - Adrian is like.. definitely gay but has majorly repressed it, bro is in denial (mainly bc he assumes Alexis won't accept him, and will just harm him further for it :(( ) - Samuel is trying to help him? Probably. but also who wouldn't want to provoke their attractive vampire rival - Ok but he really is trying to help - After a while of meeting up at events, they finally hang around outside of official vampire territory, and mostly just spar, but sometimes talk! like normal folks - One day, after Samuel undergoes some p r e t t y b a d t r a u m a, he's all bandaged up, and Adrian shows up to spar, but decides to leave him to rest, despite Samuel's protests that he's still capable - At their next match, he goes way easier on Samuel, which leads Samuel to question him, saying that he's recovered now - Turns out, seeing him injured made Adrian realize he actually does care about Samuel's wellbeing, and they agree to a truce, deciding to not fight literally every time they see each other - They become friends! And they confide in each other about their problems, creating a really strong bond - They still definitely enjoy fighting though, since they are at about an equal level, making it a fun challenge - Before they became friends, whenever Samuel would show up somewhere (at like a Solaire event or sm) with Vivienne after they'd gotten some kind of treat (slushie etc) Samuel would bring him a lemon snack, and lemon is Adrian's favourite flavour :3 obviously Adrian pretends to be pissed off but he really does appreciate it Now how do their parents feel? Alexis hates everything about them hanging around each other. She repeatedly invokes Adrian to stay away from him and push him away, but Samuel finds a way around the invokation, using their blood bond (yes theyre blood bonded ooooh) to skirt around it Sam? He's kind of unsure at first, and doesn't really trust Adrian, but he warms up to it, and supports Adrian whenever he comes to their house for help or just to hang around. He makes Samuel and Adrian hot cocoa when it's cold out :3 and he's happy that his son is helping Adrian out, even if they had initially been fighting because of their parents' feud. Also both of them do notttt like the fact that their kids flirt given their previous relationship and how it ended,, Sam is worried it'll spiral into a similarly toxic situation and it just pisses Alexis off So yeah :3 Samuel and Adrian are actually really close, but it takes a couple years for them to get that way This really does sound like some rivals to lovers stuff huh hfgjksdhgks Taglist: @vegafan69 @darlin-collins @kxemii @professionallyyappin @sereh624

[pengweng-quack]

Being a Witch with Vampires

Carlisle Cullen x Witch!OC

Summary: Stella (A witch) and Carlisle (A vampire), and how they blossomed from roommates to friends(?) to partners

Chapter 6/7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Notes:

This was inspired by this fanfic on tumblr by lis-likes-fics titled "In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised"

This is also on Ao3 under the same title and same username too if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448940)

Posting is random lol, hope you guys enjoy this story

This is officially the last chapter before the end, and holy shit thank you so much for the support that you've shown in this series, you guys are all wonderful!

As I have said, I do have another Carlisle series in the works, but I will most definitely post some other things before that so make sure to leave a follow if you're interested in some of my other works

Word Count: 2722 words

TW for this chapter: Death mentions

Timeline: Breaking Dawn

Masterlist

There were 18 vampires in the Cullen household, all either willing to fight or be witness against the Volturi, and a Jacob, and Sam (who Stella has convinced to be of witness for them as well)

“Carlisle might not ask you to fight, but I will. For the sake of my family.” Edward started, his desire to protect his family higher than ever “But also, for yours. And for the way you want to live.”

“The packs will fight. We've never been afraid of vampires.” Jacob immediately started

“I will fight alongside.” Sam announced as well “The Volturi have terrorized our home, and the home of our fellow witches. About time that we get them back and avenge our fallen soldiers.”

Soon, everyone was announcing them joining. Stella snuck out of the crowded room and into the privacy of hers and Carlisle’s room to accompany him, looking up at the portrait of Volturi that he had

“He’s a brave man.” Stella muttered, wrapping her arms around Carlisle who was in deep pondering

“Until when will we be forced to be against the Volturi?” Carlisle asked quietly as Stella sits next to him

“Until they decide that the Cullens are not of threat anymore.” Stella answered softly “You know they won’t stop until they get what they want.”

“They’ll start with you.” Carlisle whispered, facing Stella and resting his hand on her cheek “They consider you the weakest, yet they know that your death will do the most impact to us.”

“Then I will die protecting our family.” Stella answered at once, holding onto the hand that was on her cheek and leaning onto it

“And besides, you heard Sam. They’ve terrorized my fellow witches for thousands of years already. I will die protecting you and avenging them. I would have done my purpose as the blessed witch of today.” She continued

“I would not be able to live in a world without you.” Carlisle said quietly, the thought of losing his confident witch scared him

“Nor would I be able to live in a world where I didn’t die protecting you.” Stella responded

“I love you.” Carlisle muttered softly, pulling her face and leaving a peck on her forehead

“And I—” Stella started, pulling Carlisle for a kiss on the cheeks “—love you more.”

~~

Benjamin used his skill to start a bonfire, getting Stella to immediately position herself near it, still not being used to the cold. Benjamin and Tia sat down next to her, looking at Stella with a smile.

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Jacob said with a small smirk, nodding as he sits next to Stella “A little pre-battle bonfire. Telling war stories.”

“Or just standing there like frickin’ statues.” He added, looking at the group of vampires that were indeed standing like statues

“There’s a reason that they have marble-like skins.” Stella joked, giggling at her own comment. Garrett moved to where they were, joining them around the campfire

“Name any American battle. I was there.” Garrett mentioned casually, getting Stella to shake her head at him

Jacob mentioned the Little Bighorn, which Garrett mentioned his association to it. Kate moved to where Garrett was, sitting very close to him and mentioning another war, making a side comment about how he didn’t deal with that alone.

Everyone was sharing stories from their time in any battle back and forth. Vladimir and Stefan were soon to share about their time as the considered most powerful coven, before the Volturi overthrew them. Now Stella understood why they were so keen in helping them be witness, it was for their own benefit as well.

“How about you, witch?” Vladimir suddenly spoke up, looking directly at Stella “Any stories to share to us?”

“Oh no,” Stella said, shaking his head not at him “I have been with Carlisle since he left the Volturi, I have no such experience with anything related to battling or overthrowing a coven.”

“We used to be allies with the Romanian witches.” Stefan started, his gaze on Stella as well “Not until we accidentally feasted on their blood.”

“Thanks.” Stella said awkwardly, sending an awkward smile to the two of them “Very comforting for the two witches with you right now.”

“Do not fret. We do not have intentions on feasting on Carlisle’s mate.” Vladimir assured, smiling back at her “We just wish to hear stories as your time before you joined your Carlisle.”

“What do you want to know anyways?” Stella started, trying to remember every detail of her life as if it only happened yesterday

“Why did the witches never try to prove that they’re stronger than vampires?” Liam asked, getting Stella to ponder at his question

“We never liked violence.” She answered, deciding on what was the proper response to his question “We preferred living in peace and quiet. And if that includes letting vampires think that they’re stronger than us, then so be it.”

“Then why be here right now?” Garrett asked

“Because I have something to fight for.” Stella simply replied, looking for Carlisle in the darkness, only to see him already looking at her with a smile on his face

“We’ve always respected the witches that we were blessed to be allied with.” Stefan opened up “They were strong, too strong that we couldn’t keep up with their capabilities during battles.”

“Every one that we kill will be equal to them killing ten.” Vladimir continued “They were a beast, a powerful weapon to have during war.”

“But you killed them.” Sam snickered, sitting next to Jacob

“That has been our biggest mistake.” Vladimir accepted his comment “Our incapability to have self-control like Carlisle does led to our own demise.”

“But a witch’s blood has two outcomes, either it could drive the vampire mad. Or that we will calm them.” Sam continued “Does our blood drive you mad right now?”

“Carlisle has wished that we do our hardest to resist the temptation of having a taste of you right now, Stella more in particular.” Stefan assured them

“Drop that discussion, we can’t be starting a silent war between us right now.” Carlisle called them off, lightly tapping Benjamin’s leg to sit next to Stella. He and Tia moved, giving him the space to sit next to her.

“You good?” Stella whispered to Carlisle. He nodded at her question before leaving a peck on her forehead

“How did you and Carlisle even conclude that you’re mates?” Kate asked

“They just know.” Edward answered for them “It’s almost the same as how we feel that we’re mated to our mates.”

“I mean, I get that.” Kate told him “It’s just, obviously, a vampire meeting their mate is an understood experience by almost everyone here. I just don’t get how it works with a vampire and a witch.”

“Trust me, we didn’t understand it either at first.” Stella assured her with a chuckle “There’s a reason why we spent 280 years being together without accepting that we’re mates. It just didn’t make sense at that time.”

“A witch’s existence is a…complex discussion really.” She continued, getting everyone to listen intently to her

“We’re human, but we’re not at the same time. We’re this thin line between humanity and immortality. In a sense, it puts us in the same group as Renesmee, but not really at the same time. A witch can only be born during a hybrid eclipse, which explains why we’re so human at some part yet so immortal in others.”

“You’re very rare then.” Tia spoke softly in realization “The last hybrid eclipse happened in 2005.”

“Exactly.” Sam answered “We’ll be considered lucky if we have 2 hybrid eclipses happening in a decade. There were only 6 hybrid eclipse in the past century alone, that’s how rare we are.”

“How old are you then?” Garrett asked

“We were both born in 1668, making our family immediately paired us as mates early on.” Sam answered again “We weren’t keen on the idea, her more so, but we just followed. We didn’t know when another witch was gonna be born by then.”

“That’s before I met Carlisle.” Stella added, looking at the blonde vampire next to him before looking at the bonfire again

“Meeting him gave me this sense of hope for myself. The sheer fact that I could be with him without him ever losing control gave me hope that maybe I could leave with him if he ever asks me to ever join him. And he did, two decades after we met.” She continued, intertwining her hands with him

“The best decision I’ve ever made.” Carlisle said softly, leaving a soft kiss on Stella’s hand

~~

“Carlisle!” Stella yelled as Carlisle ran to save Alice and Jasper, her heart pounding heavily in anxiety, watching as he pushed upon the Volturi that were stopping him from saving their children

She watched as Aro and Carlisle had a face off, ending with Carlisle’s head on Aro’s arm, his body being burnt

“No!” Stella yelled, seeing her mate be burned while Aro taunted everyone with Carlisle’s beheaded body

Stella knew what was gonna happen, it was only a matter of time until it was her turn to join Carlisle in the afterlife under her own decisions. But she didn’t want Carlisle’s death to be in vain. She led them to rush the Volturi, wishing to avenge her mate who died in Aro’s hands. She was yelling as she ran to the Volturi, in pain and in anger, as the others with them rushed alongside her

The battle begun, flying bodies of both from the Volturi’s side and the Cullen’s were all over. Stella was using all spells that she knows to finish off the Volturi that were getting near her, her desire to avenge Carlisle stronger than ever.

And as the number of the Volturi was slowly decreasing, Aro walked to the battlefield, the same thirst to kill and avenge his mates high.

“ARO IS MINE!” Stella yelled, running to Aro, no sense of sympathy on her face

They met in the middle, where Stella used her magic to stop Aro from even moving. She wanted him to die, the cruelest way one could ever think of.

“This is for my fellow witches!” She yelled, tugging off his arm with one swoop

“This is for those you’ve terrorized!” Stella yelled again, finishing off his other arm

Stella felt the same stabbing pain as before, Jane was targeting her, but she ignored the excruciating pain flowing through her body, focused on one thing in mind. It didn’t take long until the pain disappeared, figuring out that either Bella has shielded her, or someone has targeted Jane.

She forcefully pushed Aro down to his knees and grabbed a handful of his hair, forcing him to look up at her.

“Did you find satisfaction in killing him, Aro?” Stella asked, a demented smirk on her face

For the first time in Aro’s long existence, he felt fear.

“It seems like Carlisle got you to be his mate.” Aro taunted despite nearing his death “No wonder you were so adamant in being the one to kill me.”

“This is for Carlisle.” Stella laughed in such a horrific tone that caught all of the Volturi’s attention

In Stella’s final attempt to avenge Carlisle, red flames flowed in her hand, it was a death sentence for her as the fire was burning her away. Stella dug her nails deep into Aro’s head, using all her strength to separate his head into two lengthwise pieces of it, the fire already causing some parts of him to burn. Multiple Volturi tried to save their master, all piling up on his and Stella’s burning body. She was trapped in the middle, joining them as they burn to ashes.

Stella could hear Emmett and Rosalie’s pained yell from outside the piled bodies above her. She could hear Alice’s gasp in shock and Edward and Bella’s rushing feet in an attempt to retrieve Stella’s body from the pile of burning vampires. She could hear the fight continuing, the Volturi witnesses wanting to avenge their masters.

But she closed her eyes in acceptance of her fate.

Had this been her end, she will be happy. For she will not have to suffer a lifetime without her Carlisle.

--

Alice showed what would be Aro’s fate had he continued the fight against the Cullens. Making him back down, to Caius’ dismay, but knowing that he will be back for Edward, Bella, Alice, and the other gifted vampires there one day.

Stella pulled Edward and Alice from the celebrating group, hugging them and kissing the temples of their head

“You both are so strong for having to see those visions.” She murmured to them

“You could see it too?” Edward asked

“Learned a bit of telepathy myself before being with Carlisle.” She winked to him “Just didn’t use it as much. I see how much of a stress that it with you, so I just choose when I use it.”

“So—

“I know a lot of things that you wouldn’t tell, Carlisle.” Stella answered to the shying Carlisle, playfully winking at him

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Edward murmured “It must have been tough to keep your composure, seeing Carlisle die like that.”

“You’ve been dealing with that for centuries; I want to carry the burden that you two do. Even if just for today.” Stella hushed, pulling the two for another hug

Carlisle watched the sight of the three of them hugging, a content smile on his face. He doesn’t personally know what vision Alice showed for Aro to back down like that, but he was glad that no fight broke out

It was finally over; their family is in peace again.

He gets to be in peace with his Stella.

~~

“No!” Stella said, waking up from seeing another version of what the fight could have been

“What’s wrong?” Carlisle asked, a book on his lap “Another nightmare?”

“You keep dying in every single one of it.” Stella frowned “I keep killing Aro but that doesn’t stop the fact that you’re dead in every single one of it too.”

“I’m sorry mi amor.” Carlisle frowned, putting the book on the nightstand and pulling her closer to his chest

“If it makes you feel any better, I can help you if you can’t sleep.” Carlisle offered, a plan bubbling behind his golden eyes

“How so?” Stella asked, a small smirk forming on her face

Carlisle didn’t answer, but his hand made its way down to the hem of the tank top that she was wearing. He was toying with it, teasing her as if he was gonna lift it up. It didn’t help that Carlisle stayed topless when he accompanies her to bed. “Just so I can cool you down quicker” he says

What a complete bullshit.

“Mr. Cullen, you surprise me.” Stella said, an amused smile on her face as she sits up properly to look at him

“I wasn’t doing anything.” Carlisle said, fake innocence in his tone

“Aww,” Stella fake pouted

She left the bed and started to undress herself down to her undergarments, an expensive set that Carlisle gifted to her. She knew Carlisle was watching her every move with intent eyes, she didn’t even need to look behind to know so.

“I am gonna be in the shower, in need to cool down a bit.” Stella announced, though her tone hinted that she wanted Carlisle to do something

“Why need the shower if you’ve got a perfect cooler in your bed right now?” Carlisle asked in a sly tone, making Stella look at him

“Oh?” Stella asked, turning around and looking at him, a smirk on her face. He opened his arm, waiting for Stella to come back in his embrace

Stella rushed back to the bed, pulling Carlisle in a deep kiss and resting her hand on the band of his pajama wear. Carlisle wasted no time wrapping his arm around her. He pulled her down the bed as he positions himself on top of her.

“I love you.” Carlisle murmured, indulging himself and leaving shallow bite marks on her shoulders

“I love you more.” Stella replied back, tracing her hand down the vampire’s cold but toned torso

@kisekihany

[aylacavebear]

Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 3

When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?

Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You

Word Count: 1960

Warnings: Angst, Past Trauma, Alcohol.

A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers. Not sure when this one will be up and available to read yet. Just getting the chapter list started for it.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 3

The next few weeks were odd, but at least things had gotten into a rhythm at the garage. With Dean there, the other four stopped treating you like they would have if he weren’t there. It was something you wanted to ask him about but had refused to ask questions that were too personal in your mind. 

John came around, a lot, and it made you slightly nervous that first week. His presence was unsettling, and if it hadn’t been for Jodi, you probably never would have relaxed around the man. She just had a way with people, and you loved watching how she interacted with them. 

Sadly, Sam had only stayed for a few days before he went back to California for school and to his soulmate. Dean told you about her. She seemed like a nice girl, and for some reason, you were intrigued, wanting to meet her one day, but you weren’t entirely sure why.

When the third week started, Bobby assigned you and Dean a project. One of the locals had gotten into an accident, and the car was all but totaled—barely. The owner was sentimental and wanted it restored, so you knew you’d be busy for a few weeks with this one, until you learned Dean would be your other hand on the job.

“Looks like we’re working together, Sweetheart,” Dean smirked, joining you as you made mental notes on the list of things you’d need to order.

“I don’t mind,” you answered nonchalantly, more focused on your mental list than him.

You finally grabbed the pad for the parts list and started jotting down the obvious items before opening all the doors and the hood. Dean just watched you, intrigued by your process and smitten by the tender attention you gave the car. He wanted to help, but he also didn’t want to get in your way either.

When you slid under the car, he crouched down so he could continue watching you. Your hair was pulled back in a braid to keep it out of your face, even if there were a few loose strands that he noticed. The way your expression gave away how the wheels turned in your mind, and your fingers seemed to dance along the parts, silently mouthing words before you’d grab your pad and write something down.

After sliding out from under the car, you looked over at Dean, who was still watching you, “Could you give this list to Bobby, please?”

“Sure,” he replied with a smile, taking the pad from you.

Since you and Dean were working together, you took your breaks together. You found it odd that Dean didn’t take his breaks with the boys, though. When you asked him about it, he said he wanted to get to know you better. So, the two of you talked, about all sorts of things. 

By day three, the two of you were joking around while you worked on the car. You didn’t want to admit it, but it felt nice to have someone to talk to, joke around with, and hang out with. Then, there was everything that the two of you had in common. That surprised the hell out of you.

You never thought of Dean as anything other than a co-worker and eventual friend. The man was attractive, but it was all his other qualities that made you know he’d make his soulmate happy when he found her. He was kind, sweet, funny, and he even acted like a kid sometimes. The way he smiled in so many different ways, revealing what he felt when paired with the look in his eyes, was beautiful beyond words.

The days passed quickly, with the two of you tackling the car together, and the conversation between the two of you made it seem as though you’d barely begun work by the time the shift was over. You were finally able to relax around him and be yourself, which you hadn’t gotten to do around anyone who wasn’t family.

When the two of you finished the job, you stood before it, beaming with pride, looking down at the car. Dean, though, had his eyes on you. Benny’s whistle pulled your attention as he walked over. Dean quickly looked away from you and at Benny.

“Looks good. You two team up nice,” he stated while admiring the car.

“Thanks,” you replied a little shyly. 

It was the first compliment Benny had ever given you, and you weren’t entirely sure how to take it. 

“Thanks, Benny. Couldn’t have done it without her,” Dean replied proudly, giving you a gentle pat on your shoulder. “She’s skilled when it comes to cars. Might even let her help me with Baby one day.”

Your head snapped up, and you looked at Dean, shocked but also confused. You knew he never let anyone touch his car, just like you with yours. They were both your pride and joy, and neither of you trusted anyone else to give the love deserved to work on them. You also weren’t sure how to respond.

“So, we celebratin’, since she’s finished?” Benny asked, his hands on his hips, still looking at the car.

“Drinks at Harvelle’s tonight, say around seven?” Dean answered with that smirk of his.

“I’ll tell the guys,” he replied, now sporting a smirk of his own before he walked away.

That was when Dean looked down at you, “Do you want to come too? It’s something the five of us used to do when I worked here before. I’m buyin’.”

You sighed silently and looked away from him, “I’m pretty sure they’d enjoy it more if I wasn’t there, but thanks for inviting me.”

Dean set his hands on your shoulders and gently turned you so that you were facing him. “You did more than half the work. You deserve to celebrate, too. The guys might surprise you, but…” he trailed off and sighed, then let his hands fall to his sides. “If you don’t want to go, I understand.”

Looking up at him, he looked so dejected, and you felt bad for declining his offer. “Tell you what. I’ll go, but if things get weird, I’m gonna head out.”

He instantly smiled like a happy kid, which made you chuckle a little, “Then I’ll see you tonight, Sweetheart.”

“See you tonight, Dean,” you chuckled, finding him fairly adorable.

You headed to Bobby’s office, but stopped just outside the door, hearing not only Bobby but also John and Jodie. You hadn’t noticed either of them come into the garage earlier, as your entire focus had been on finishing the car.

“We’ve only got three months left. Have you found anything out on your end, John?” Jodi asked, frustrated.

“Sam’s been trying. We know it wasn’t an accident. So far, there’s no way to fight the contract. The lawyers that drew it up were good with wording the fine print,” John replied with a heavy sigh.

“I’m not letting that monster have her, John. I’ll shoot him if he shows up,” Bobby growled.

“We still can’t find the original document. That would nullify the one that monster has,” Jodi added.

“Sam’s trying. We don’t know where Y/P/L/N’s hid it. There are only a handful of people that this has happened to. At least she and Dean are friends, so there’s some hope,” John sighed.

Your heart felt like it not only stopped but was also going to pound right out of your chest. For a moment, you were frozen in place but quickly composed yourself and put on that fake smile again. With a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

“Car’s done,” you told them loud enough so they could hear through the closed door.

“Come in, kid,” Bobby told you.

The air in the room seemed thick with tension, but they all had those faked smiles on, and you knew it was for you. Jodi was standing next to Bobby, who was behind his desk. John in the chair across from it. “Here’s the keys. The owner should be pleased with the work,” you smiled, setting the keys on Bobby’s desk.

“Thanks, kid. Why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off, relax a little? You’ve been workin’ hard the last two and a half weeks,” Bobby told you, but you saw the concern of something in his eyes.

“Sounds good. Nice to see you, Jodi, John,” you replied, still giving that fake smile as you headed out of the office, closing the door behind you.

That smile instantly faded, though, as your chest tightened and your thoughts ran rampant. Swallowing hard, you couldn’t manage a deep breath and headed toward your car. Dean watched you, frowning, but he didn’t follow you. Instead, he went to the office without knocking just as you reached your car.

I’m the only she Dean has been hanging out with, and we are friends. What legal stuff is connected to the two of us and not just to Dean? Why did they go silent when I went into the office? What the hell aren’t they telling me? The only other thing happening in three months is my birthday.

Is something going to happen to me on my birthday? Who would Bobby have been calling a monster? What does that have to do with me? And to top it off, what the hell does this have to do with my parents?

There were far too many questions, and no one you could even ask for answers. They circled through your mind like a tornado while you drove, while you showered, and even when you attempted to relax. Near five, after spacing off and on for the last three hours, you went to your room, sat on your bed, and picked up the picture frame that held a picture of your parents. Your mother was holding you, with your father standing behind her. Both of them looked happy. The one-year-old child in their arms was sporting a happy smile as well. 

I wish I could have gotten to know the two of you.

You sighed and flipped the frame over, unclipped the backing, and pulled out the almost twenty-five-year-old piece of paper you’d hidden there, years ago. It was a letter your mother had written to you a couple of days before you were born. You’d found it shortly after your sixteenth birthday when you were going through things in the house. It had been hidden well.

Y/N, You’ll be here soon, and you won’t understand this until you are much older. Just know we both love you more than words will ever say. This home is yours. We would have loved to raise you, but we know that we won’t live to see your third birthday. Let this home be your sanctuary away from the world. It has many hidden things that you’ll find over time. Think of it like a scavenger hunt. Each thing you find will help you heal from what is going to happen to us. The more of these things you find, the more things will make sense. I can’t put too much here, in case this is found by someone else. We love you, and we’ll be watching you from heaven. Trust your family. They’ll be there when you need them. Love, Your Parents

You’d read the letter numerous times and searched the house more times than you could count. But after hearing the three in the office today, you had a new determination growing inside. It was like a tiny ember that was quickly growing into a raging fire.

Time to search this place again. Only this time, I need answers to keep myself safe.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 4

Story Master List Main Master List

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @jamerlynn @jackles010378 @bruhidkjustwannaread @onthehuntforshinies

@chriszgirl92 @angzls @xolivvies-cornerxo @certainsaladstarfish @onlyangel-444

@nancymcl @muhahaha303 @suckitands33 @kr804573 @justrandomthougt

@suckitands33 @mxtansy @scarletqueenx @krazykelly @roseblue373

@whimsyfinny @ladysparkles78 @aaathazagoraphobiaaa @hobby27 @perpetualabsurdity

@cicibunbuns @n-o-p-e-never @vanessa-boo @foxyjwls007

If I missed tagging, please let me know. I had a lot of requests for tags for this one. If you'd like to be tagged, drop me a comment.

[daughter-of-melpomene]

𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗧 𝗕𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗘𝗦

The time has once again come for me to talk about some plot bunnies!! These are some all of the plot bunnies I currently have that I haven’t really talked about much, at least on here - feel free to ask me any questions you might have about them!!

Arabella Larson, Percy Jackson OC, OC + OC ship. Daughter of Aphrodite. Super sweet, sees Grover as a little brother figure and is very protective over him, has amazing fashion sense and is amazing at doing makeup. Girlfriend to an Ares girl named Noelle.

Noelle Perez, Percy Jackson OC, OC + OC ship. Daughter of Ares, Arabella’s girlfriend. More skilled with hand-to-hand combat than weapons. One of the oldest kids in Ares cabin, so she acts as an older sister to everyone. Gets a bit protective over Percy immediately and doesn’t approve of Clarisse bullying him at all.

Lydia Chen, Percy Jackson OC, Percy ship. Daughter of Apollo. A total theatre kid who’s a great singer and actress and wants to be on Broadway one day. Pretty much the only one to try and help Percy in his first week aside from Luke. Has a bit of healing ability, but can only fix minor cuts and scrapes. A bit dramatic, but still a sweetheart.

Eleleth, Supernatural OC, OC + OC ship. Girlfriend for my other Supernatural OC Via Winchester. Young dominion angel who comes to Earth with Castiel to teach Via about her own abilities and her role in the coming fight, and winds up falling in love with her. A bit uptight and doesn’t think much of humans, but she grows right along with Cas. Via considers her name “too fancy” and calls her Elle, with she hates right up until she doesn’t.

Morvant Bellatrix, One Piece live-action OC, Mihawk ship. Former assassin, of the all-female Fatale pirate crew. Known as the Siren of the East Blue because she has a Devil Fruit power that lets her inflict pain on people by singing a specific song (think kind of a dark Rapunzel). Basically unofficially adopts Luffy and the other Straw Hats and goes out of her way to keep bounty hunters and other pirates away from them. Mihawk takes one look at her torturing someone and immediately falls in love. She is cold and calculating but she also can and will kill for the people she cares about.

Yami Corvo, One Piece live-action OC, Shanks ship. One of the most deadly assassins in all four Blues. Has a Devil Fruit power that allows them to manipulate their own blood and make it into weapons (think Marie Moreau from Gen V). Tries and fails to kill Mihawk, but he takes a liking to them and offers to bring them along with him on his travels, which is how they meet Shanks, who takes one look at this feral assassin and instantly gets heart eyes. They are very much a golden retriever/black cat ship and it’s lovely.

Phoebe Mosley, The Magnificent Seven OC, Vasquez ship. Bounty hunter with incredible shooting skills who’s an old friend of Sam’s, so he recruits her to help protect Rose Creek. Closed-off and not receptive to Vasquez and Faraday’s flirting at first, but warms up to everyone on the team eventually and becomes besties with Billy. Name is inspired by Annie Oakley’s real name, Phoebe Ann Mosey.

Santiago “Tiago” Rojas, The Magnificent Seven OC, poly Goody + Billy ship. Outlaw wanted for the murder of a preacher he’d found to be abusing his children who helps Faraday out when he’s approached by the men he owes money to and receives the offer to help Rose Creek along with him. Eventually falls in love with Goody and Billy, but also becomes Spanish-speaking besties with Vasquez and good friends with Jack because they’re both religious. Very good with knives and an axe when he can get his hands on one.

Sophia Ramos, M*A*S*H OC, Father Mulcahy ship. Former USO girl and aspiring Broadway chorus girl who volunteers as a nurse when the army asks for more. A total girly girl who always wears makeup and her nice dresses whenever she doesn’t have to be in uniform. Incredibly cheery and playful, and often entertains the 4077th by singing and dancing to keep morale up. Becomes unexpected besties with Margaret, and just so happens to fall for the company priest along the way.

Anastasia “Ana” Upland, The Hunger Games OC, poly Katniss and Peeta ship. District 3, Career victor of the 72nd Hunger Games. Eagerly volunteered for her Games, but became disillusioned with the Capital after having to kill just to survive and win and sought out the rebellion after Katniss and Peeta’s victory. Gets to know Katniss and Peeta during the Quarter Quell Games and slowly falls in love with both of them as the rebellion progresses. Very closed-off and cold because she’s haunted by the things she’s seen and done, but fiercely loyal and would do anything for the people she cares about. Skilled with a variety of weapons, but best at close hand-to-hand combat.

Delilah “Lila” Wills, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen OC, poly Tom Sawyer + OC ship. Added to the relationship between Tom and my other OC Enola Holmes. Works as a secretary and assistant for Enola’s small detective business in London before she gets recruited by the League, and when the League comes back for another mission in London Enola convinces the other members to make her a part of the group. She and Enola were definitely something more than friends before, but when she sees Enola is with Tom she thinks she has no more chance until all three of them realize they’re all falling in love with each other. She also becomes besties with Skinner because they’re both crafty buggers with Cockney accents and a loose relationship with the law.

Tagging everyone who might be interested in some of these babies: @auxiliarydetective, @luucypevensie, @xoteajays, @themaradwrites, @endless-oc-creations, @starcrossedjedis, @ginevrastilinski-ocs, @oneirataxia-girl.

[builtbybrokenbells]

belladonna | iii (pt. 2)

too beautiful to resist, and too deadly to survive; the tragic tale of belladonna in all its glory.

masterlist | taglist

Pairing: Danny Wagner x f!reader, f!reader x OC

Word count: 21k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, sorta rough sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), dirty talk, slight dom/sub, slight brat/brat tamer dynamic, praise, multiple orgasms, mentions of orgasm denial, degradation, name calling, pet names, biting, mentions of toxic/abusive parents, mentions of/toxic relationships/emotionally abusive relationships, mentions of criminal activity/criminal records, poverty, mentions of homelessness, mentions of physical violence, mentions of blood, mentions of AA/NA, NA meetings, heavy descriptions of addictions, use of/mentions of drugs, mentions of relapsing, mentions of OD, mentions of drinking, painful amount of flirting, mentions of hookups/sex, smoking, depression/anxiety, mental health struggles, swearing, sorry if I miss any!!

my favourite part so far 😁 finally some confidence from the two lovebirds. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍

You had never felt so good. You had never felt so alive. You wondered, if his company felt so rewarding even after such a short period of time, what would months feel like with your heart and soul entangled in his. For once, the unknown was exciting rather than paralyzing. As gravity pulled you closer, you began to believe that you could live in the unknown with Danny until the end of time, and it would be inexplicably better than existing within the known without him by your side. He was so close, and it was hard not to jump. You wanted everything all at once, but savoring him seemed like the only option. His lips were nearly brushing against your own, and despite your earlier efforts at shoving the feelings away, you needed him to close the gap between you. You needed it like water, but you were so parched that you couldn’t speak the words nor go in search of it yourself.

You knew how foolish it was to leave your fate in the hands of another, but for once, not even your own psyche seemed to be able to ruin the moment for you.

“Hey, guys. I’m gonna take Rose outside, seems like—oh… sorry.” Sam’s voice cut through the static silence in the room, causing you to immediately shy away from Danny. You peeked at Sam, mostly hiding behind the boy standing before you. Your cheeks were crimson, incriminating you further. Danny dropped his hand to your arm, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance as he noticed the look on your face. Then, he turned to face his best friend, giving him a smile but shooting daggers with his eyes.

“Sure thing, we’ll meet you out there.” He said, keeping his tone light so you wouldn’t notice his upset. Sam gave a sympathetic look, mouthing another ‘I’m sorry’ at him before he backed out of the room. Danny stayed in the position for a moment, almost too embarrassed to look back in your direction. His hand was still on your arm, sending shivers down your spine while you hoped things would not become weird between you two. “Sorry, y/n.” Danny said, finally managing to place his fear to the side as he turned to look back at you.

“No, don’t be sorry.” You shook your head. “Really, it’s okay.” You wanted to tell him how badly you wanted it, to express your desire to follow through with the earlier idea, but you could not force the words out of your mouth. You hoped that he could see it in your eyes, that if he looked hard enough he could understand exactly how you were feeling without you having to say anything at all. He studied your expression for a moment, a small smile crossing his lips as he nodded. He understood, and because he understood so well, he didn’t feel the need to force you to say it.

“You wanna get going? We can head to that park you were talking about?” He offered, knowing that a change in environment might help you to forget about the lingering embarrassment.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.” You nodded. He gave you another smile, one that was more reassuring than the last. He made a move to step away, but you reached out and grabbed his hand to hold him in place. “Wait.” You said, your stomach taken over by a nervous flutter.

“What’s up, Utah?” He asked, looking down at your hand in his. He didn’t need to say it for you to know that he also believed it felt right.

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked. He cocked his head to the side, but the smile remained on his lips.

“Yellow or orange, I guess. Reminds me of summer.” How fucking fitting that his favourite colour was the same colour as the sun. To you, he was the sun. Bright and beautiful, warm and inviting, but dangerous if you got too close or stayed near without any protection. “Why?”

“I was just… curious, I guess.” You said, feeling stupid for asking such a childish question.

“What’s yours?”

“Purple.” You replied without hesitation. “Every shade.” You clarified. “What’s your middle name?”

“Robert.” He chuckled. “You want to know me better or something?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Is it a crime?”

“No,” he shook his head, unable to express how happy he was that you cared to ask the questions at all. “When’s your birthday?”

“June 28th.” You grinned. “You?”

“December 29th.” He said, holding on to your hand a little tighter.

“Favorite album?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “Careful, now. This might be a dealbreaker.”

“That’s a tough one.” He sighed, noticing you making a move towards the door. He followed, still holding your hand in his. “Harvest was a good choice. I’ve always been a fan of Neil Young. Rumors is obviously another good choice.”

“Cop out answers.” You scoffed, teasing him as you led him to the main door of the building.

“What?” He asked, laughing as you brought him outside. “You said Harvest, did you not?”

“I did.” You nodded, your smile beginning to hurt your cheeks. “So that would make you a bit of a copycat, hmm?”

“Zeppelin III, then?” You thought about it for a moment, then eventually gave a nod of your head.

“I’ll accept it.”

“Thank you, I guess?” He opened the passenger door for you as he spoke, making your blush return to your cheeks with full force.

“You’re welcome.” As you climbed in, you saw Sam walking back over to the car. Rose was pulling on her leash, stopping to inspect every growing weed and yellow dandelion as they passed by. Spring was coming with full force, and Rosie was not the only one enjoying the season change. Danny closed the door as you settled in, catching Sam in a small conversation as he made a move towards the backseat. You didn’t have enough energy to read their lips as they spoke, and you definitely didn’t care to dwell on Sam’s apologetic expression as your phone began to ring in your pocket.

You grabbed it, looking quickly at the contact and feeling your whole body food with dread. John was calling, and for once in your entire life, you could not bear the thought of going in early. Before answering, you looked out the window, catching sight of Danny’s side profile. The sight was so beautiful that you couldn’t fathom the idea of walking away from it if you did not have to. Being with him made you happier than you had been since you moved to the city, and it was a feeling you weren’t comfortable letting go of just yet.

Then, you were pulled back to reality for a moment. You looked back down at the phone in your hands, realizing that you had not known Danny for long enough to choose him over OT pay at the diner. Logically speaking, the extra four hours of work you would get paid for could go towards an extra grocery bill you usually could not afford, or more importantly, two packs of cigarettes to enjoy. Four hours of work and a hangout cut short seemed like a fair trade for the luxury of smoking as many cigarettes as your heart desired rather than smoking them halfway to make it to the next payday.

You stopped your train of thought, looking away from your phone and out the front windshield.

Were you really comparing a living human being to a pack of Marlboro Reds?

You feared that you lost your humanity, trading human connection with substance in an attempt to protect your heart. After your relentless heartbreaks from Vincent, you were stingy when it came to handing pieces of yourself to others. It was understandable to feel such a way, but absolutely not to feel such a blatant lack of regard for others. You looked back out the window, lingering over Danny’s smiling face for a moment while he conversed with Sam, wondering how you could ever feel such a way about him in particular. He was worth more than a thousand packs of cigarettes, and made you feel a million times more in an hour than a cigarette ever could.

The ringing ceased, making you look back at your phone. You had been deliberating so long that John had hung up the call. “Shit.” You muttered to yourself, unlocking your screen to call him back. Before you could, it was already ringing again with another incoming call. You did not hesitate to accept it, pressing the phone to your ear as you thought out an apology for not answering the first time. “Hey, John.”

“Hey, darlin’.” He said, stress clearly laced within his tone. Suddenly, you were plagued with guilt at just the thought of declining the extra hours. Never once had you turned him down when he asked you to help, and the more you thought of it, the more you realized that he depended on your extra hours just as much as you did. The whole situation was conflicting and cofusing, mostly because you had never been in a position where taking extra hours was a conflict of interest. “Sorry if I woke ya’.”

“No, no, you’re okay.” You assured him. “Did you need me to come in?” He let out a long chuckle, and you could hear him rubbing his chin in his hand through the speaker.

“No, actually. For once, that’s not why I’m calling.” Your stomach dropped, hoping that he was not calling for an even worse reason. You had never done anything bad enough to make him question your employment, but every time he called and seemed to be in a poor mood, you feared he might fire you. The last thing you needed was to lose your only source of income, especially when you were already poor and struggling to survive. It would be a one way ticket back to Utah, where your mother would forever hold it against you with reiterations of ‘I told you so’ and ‘I knew you wouldn’t make it’.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, what isn’t wrong when it comes to this place?” He asked, exhaling a long sigh. “Don’t worry about coming in tonight. Pipe burst in the kitchen this morning, and the plumbers won’t be able to fix it until tomorrow. Took us about an hour to get it under control, so it’s a mess in here.”

“Oh, shit.” You sympathized, breaking your concentration for a moment when you heard the car doors open and the boys get inside. “Did you need an extra hand? ‘Cause I can come in and help clean.” You offered, hoping he would say no yet too nice not to extend the offer.

“No, honey, that’s alright.” He chuckled, stunned at your eagerness to go in early. “Dylan and Vincent came in to help out. We’re trying to make the dining room into a dining room again,” he paused. “Right now, looks more like a swimming pool. You take the day, and I’ll let you know how it’s looking tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure.” You said, hesitant to accept it.

“Positive.” He affirmed. “Enjoy your day, darlin’.”

“Thanks John. If you need an extra hand, just call.”

“You know I will.” He sighed. After that a few seconds of awkward silence ensued, and just as he ended the call, you could recognize Vincent’s voice in the background, presumably yelling at Dylan for something so minor he’d forget about it as soon as the words left his lips. Your stomach sank at the sound and you glanced at Danny through the corner of your eye, feeling a flash of remorse for Vincent who had no idea what you were up to.

Even if you did not want to be with him—no, could not be with him, breaking his heart was not something you were happy about, and you knew that if he had any idea what you were up to, heartbreak would be the only thing he felt.

“Don’t tell me you have to head into work?” Danny asked, a smile on his face but disappointment was shining in his eyes.

“No, actually.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Don’t have to go in at all. Pipe burst in the kitchen, so they closed the place down ‘til a plumber could take a look at it.”

“So you’re free for the rest of the day, then?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Seems so.” You grinned. “Want to check out the park?”

“Lead the way, Utah.” He said, relaxing back into his seat. You reached to the cup holders between the two of you, grabbing one of the candies. You stuck the wrapper in your pocket and popped the little ball in your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut immediately. The sour sensation spread across your tongue, making your mouth water. The sudden shock of the bitter coating immediately seemed to restart your brain; Vincent was a far away thought, as were all of the things that came along with it. After a few seconds, you pointed your finger in the direction that would lead you to the park, and he followed without another word.

You watched him as he turned on the moderately busy street, focusing specifically on the large hand wrapped around the steering wheel and his elbow nestled comfortably on the door. His other hand, seemingly not knowing where else to go, was resting on his leg while his fingers tapped a small beat into the denim of his jeans. For a split second, you found yourself in a daydream, wondering how it would feel if he reached across the vehicle and rested his hand on your thigh instead. The feeling of his palm draped carefully over the limb, his fingers resting just barely on the inside of it. You imagined the warmth his skin would cast over your naturally cold body, and the strength behind the action, even if he aimed to remain gentle. The more you dreamed of it, the more you wanted it, even if you felt ridiculous about it.

You tried to make yourself believe he didn’t want you in such a way, but the moment you shared surrounded by records that told love stories similar to your own forced you to believe otherwise. Every now and again, you caught him glancing over at you, the sunglasses failing to conceal the sneaky looks. The smile that blossomed on his lips was breathtaking, and it grew even further when you hummed along to a song on his playlist, or when you laughed at a joke Sam spewed from the backseat. There was a twinkle of adoration on his expression when you turned around in your seat, just as willing to give Rose the love she was desperately searching for. You wanted to believe he was looking for a friend, but it was easier to accept that he thought of you the same way you dreamed about him. The only difference was that he allowed himself to feel such things in blatant consciousness, whilst you did all you could to block it out only to succumb to the feelings during deep sleep.

He was a person who was capable of love and being in love, but you were only capable of breaking and losing. He had the skills and ability to make something beautiful, and you only had enough skill to turn a beautiful thing ugly. You’d been so good at it your entire life that it was harder to believe that you could change than it was to live with it, and it killed you to know that you could not offer him all he could offer you.

“Take a left up here, and there’s a big empty lot. You can just park there.” You explained, trying to hide the strain in your voice as you pulled yourself from the wretched thoughts. Your own mind was your worst enemy, constantly pulling you down and holding you back, even when there was nothing to be upset about. Danny hummed an agreement, carefully following your instructions. Within moments, you were stagnant in the aforementioned lot and Rose was nearly breaking down the door to get outside.

The three of you tumbled out of the vehicle and back into the crisp spring air. As soon as the sun hit your face, uninterrupted by any barriers, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Danny gave you a smile, walking to join you as Sam tightened the leash in his hand. The smile on both of their faces made you want to smile, too.

So you did, blinding and dazzling as you sprung forward, leading the way for the other two. It didn’t matter if it was partially fake, because you knew that with time, it could become genuine. You slipped the small energy drink in one of your large pockets and the bag of candy in the other as you walked. Somewhere between the parking lot and the gated entrance to the park, Danny’s hand landed on your lower back. It was weary on his part, as if he was afraid you would recoil, but it was more than welcome. It made you pause your previous dread for a moment and wonder if life could genuinely be so simple, or if you were just exceptionally good at finding every possible way to over complicate things.

“Sometimes things are just as simple as apple juice, y/n, not the big complicated mess that you try and turn everything into.” Liam’s words bounced against your skull, louder each time the memory rang. He was right, and you had a terrible habit of making things so much harder than they needed to be. He had meant it in the sense of your addiction, but as you had come to realize, your addiction was the biggest part of your life, inevitable who you were down to the core. His words applied to you as a whole, rather than a specific topic at the time. Perhaps the NA meeting served a further purpose than just keeping you sober, and Liam’s (mostly) unsolicited advice stretched far beyond your usual troubles. Sometimes, and specifically this time, it was just apple juice.

You didn’t need to keep Danny at a distance, nor did you need to push him away. At the same time, you were not required to tell him your life’s story right then and there. You could simply enjoy the moment without ever having to worry about it, because for now, it was all that mattered. You were wasting your energy wondering how to explain NA meetings and your messy parental relationships, because there was no need to tell him such things right away. You could worry about those bridges when it was time to cross them, and as you located the old swing set with park benches placed neatly beside them, there was no bridge in sight.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Danny asked, snagging the opportunity of alone time while Sam was led in the opposite direction by the curious dog. You looked over at him, smiles still lingering on your faces as you sat down on the mostly dry park bench.

“Not worth a penny, I don’t think.” You replied, happy he chose to sit closer than he needed to.

“Agree to disagree?” He asked, watching as you pulled one foot up under your knee, making yourself at home on the bench. The sight was wondrous to him, making him realize that no matter the circumstance or condition, you could make it comfortable and more importantly, inviting.

“Sure.” You chuckled, reaching in your pocket and grabbing one of the double chocolate muffins you had been dreaming about all morning. “I guess… just pondering. I do that a lot.” He relaxed back into the wooden bench, laughing to himself at your choice of words. “Must be a writer thing.” You shrugged.

“And this pondering happens to be about…?”

“You,” you answered, honest enough. “And how things don’t always have to be complicated.”

“By that you mean, like, us?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I’ve got a really good way of making things way more difficult than they have to be. Like right now, we’re sitting on a bench, sharing a muffin?” You posed the words like a question, simultaneously extending the muffin towards him. He looked to your hand, then back at your face, then at the muffin again. There was an amused expression on his pretty face, making it incredibly hard not to stare.

“We are.” He agreed, reaching forward and breaking off a piece of the baked good.

“And that’s just that.” You shrugged. “Just two people, sharing a muffin on a park bench.”

“As opposed to?” You laughed, finally giving in and catching his eye. The sight seemed to take your breath away, but you tried not to let it deter you from the topic at hand.

“As opposed to two people who almost kissed at a record store, and the girl being so nervous about it that she’s making herself sick. As opposed to a waitress who spends all night wondering if that cute guy she met at work likes her back, because she really likes him and it would fucking suck if he didn’t.” You explained, finding the light in his eyes shine a bit brighter as he listened. “But it’s never that serious. We’re just two people, sharing a muffin, watching their friend get dragged around a park by his dog.” At that, he let out a real laugh. It echoed through the empty air, rivaling the beauty of the birds chirping and the wind singing hymns. In an instant, the sound of his joy became more important than two people sharing a muffin, and much more important than an almost-kiss in a record store. It was everything, and you wished to hear it all of the time. If it were possible, you would shrink to microscopic size, riding through the air within the sound waves of the most entrancing sound on earth for eternity.

“We are,” he agreed, nodding at your sentiments. It was a statement the two of you seemed to be bouncing back and fourth between each other, but it didn’t matter that it was futile and lacking substance, because he was the person saying it. You would hang on every word and faint whisper until your insanity took hold. He looked down at you, his long lashes casting a shadow over his sharp cheeks. You met his gaze, craning your head upwards to meditate the height difference. “But I think we’re also two people who almost kissed in a record store, and a beautiful waitress who’s insane for thinking that guy in the booth was cute.”

“We are.” You agreed, strikingly similar to how he did moments before. You wanted to disagree with his last point, yet you didn’t have the strength. His stare was too powerful, taking over every aspect of your life and holding you hostage in the moment.

“I don’t think she needs to worry herself sick, though. She also does not need to wonder if he likes her, too.” You let out a small hum at his words, barely noticeable, but a response nonetheless. In an instant, you became the two people at the record store once more, but this time you were atop a park bench, muffin in hand.

“I guess we’re still those people at the record store.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. The closeness of his face to yours was much less scary than the last time, and you had more confidence when you thought about leaning forward and closing the gap between you.

���We’re also two people on a park bench, sharing a muffin.” He said, making sure you knew he wasn’t trying to prove you wrong. It was almost strange, how he was so cautious with his words so he did not give you the wrong impression. He cared, and he cared more than anyone ever had. Your words were important to him, as well as your heart. He didn’t want to cause any hurt, but rather add to your current state of content. You felt his arm around you, resting on the back of the wooden plank, yet closing in around you further the longer you sat there. It felt good. It felt right.

It was funny how twenty three years of consistently feeling wrong suddenly disappeared, and all it took was a single smile from a curly headed boy tucked neatly into a corner booth at the Fox.

You didn’t believe in fate, but you were certain this was the closest you could get to it without submitting to the feeble idea.

“We’re a million different versions of ourselves all at once. I think it’s pretty cool.” As much as it was true, you wished you could learn when it was time to stop talking, because you knew that sharing philosophy anecdotes was not the best way to pass your time. Not with his heavy-lidded eyes staring into your soul, and especially not with his gentle touch lingering barely over your shoulder. Definitely not when his lips were so close to yours, tempting you further the longer he remained in place.

“Do you think every version of us eventually ends up on a park bench, sharing a muffin?” He asked, clearly unbothered by your nervous rambling as he continued on with the same conversation. In his mind, kissing you came second to talking, as he could spend hours listening to ramblings coming from the deepest depths of your mind. He wanted to kiss you, but not nearly as much as he wanted to hear what you had to say.

“Fuck no,” you giggled, your mouth upturning into a smile. He was so close to you that the motion nearly made your lips brush his, but it did not make him move away. He noticed the corners of your eyes crinkle as you did so, drawing his attention to the freckles dusted like constellations on your tired skin. The hue of sleep deprivation painted your under eyes, and the threat of a blush pulled the picture together in perfect harmony. “I’m sure at least three versions of me suck.”

“Me, too.” He agreed, smiling as he watched you notice the same details on his face. “But even the worst versions of me think that you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.”

“Does every version of you have the same cheesy pickup lines?”

“They wish.” He scoffed lightly. The both of you fell into a laugh, making the act of kissing that much more simple.

His arm resting on the back of the bench slid forward, wrapping around you with little force but ample amounts of energy. Your entire body felt abuzz with emotion as his hand cupped around your upper arm, pulling you closer into him. With a laugh still stuck between your teeth, he brought his other hand to your cheek, similar to how he was holding you at the record store, yet much more comfortable. In an instant, you understood that all of your earlier fears were pointless, because the feeling of his lips meeting yours was much more extraordinary than anything you’d ever felt before.

The tips of his fingers laced in the strands of hair covering your ear, the sweet touch knotting around the locks and ensuring the memory would remain indefinitely. On his lips, the faint taste of chocolate matched your own. His cologne, which was all the more intense with every encounter, seemed to close in around your throat and flood every one of your senses. The warmth of his palm felt like home, and home was something you had never been familiar with before. Your heart was thudding against your chest, trying it’s best to escape and showcase exactly how it bled just for him. In a split second, he became more to you than anything else had ever been, and the longer his mouth moved against yours, the more at peace you felt with it.

You were happy to be important to him, and you were happy that he could be important to you, especially when not much else in your life held a candle to the importance of him. Your many thoughts, which had never really been anything worthwhile, were once again obsolete. The conclusions you drew and hoops you’d jumped through to justify your liking and relationship with him meant nothing, because it was as simple as two people, who were once sharing a muffin on a park bench, kissing on a park bench. It was never as complex as you tried to frame it, and you were fine knowing that you were two people who would happily intertwine your lives for a while. For how long, you did not know, and you did not care. All you cared about was the sweetness of kissing him, and how you never wanted it to end. After that, all you would worry about is when you could do it again.

Some things are as simple as apple juice, and falling for Danny, as it seemed, was even simpler than that. If you had to guess, you would think it was the easiest thing you had ever done.

When he pulled away, you thought you would grieve the loss, yet somehow your chest seemed so much lighter than usual. A cloud of content surrounded you, and it had never been easier to fill your lungs with air. Kissing Danny seemed to cure you of all of the problems constantly looming over your head, and even if it was only temporary, you were thankful he could alleviate it at all.

“I can kiss you again, if that version of you is still worried I don’t feel the same way.” He offered, his face still so close to your own. Despite the distance, you could still feel the lingering ghost of blissfulness that came from such close contact with him.

“Just to be sure.” You said, a smile pulling at the corners of your lips.

“Right.” He agreed, moving forward and placing another delicate kiss on your lips. It was soft, short-lived, but still as beautiful as the last.

You quickly learned that the only thing better than kissing him for the first time was getting the chance to do it again.

“Is she convinced yet? ‘Cause I can keep going, if she wants me to.” You let out a laugh, leaning forward and repeating the action once more before drawing back entirely.

“I think so,” you assured him. He let his hand linger on your cheek for a moment longer, his thumb drifting gently across the soft skin before he pulled away, too. You saw his eyes flicker past you, a smile still lingering on his face. You turned your head, noticing Sam meandering near the swing set, Rose’s leash tightly in hand. “And I bet that version of Sam is really happy he didn’t screw up your chances this time.”

“You’d be right.” He nodded, noticing that the two were approaching. You picked away at the muffin, suddenly remembering the carbonated beverage in your pocket as you tried anything to forget the feeling of his skin on yours.

It was a terrible thing to be an addict, because the danger extended far beyond the simple claws of substance. You knew that a feeling as good as the one he could give you was more dangerous than anything you’d ever tried.

“You think I could let her off her leash?” Sam asked, approaching the two of you. He didn’t dwell on what he witnessed, but you could see a gleam of emotion in his eye, happy that the two of you had finally seemed to make the move (without another rude interruption from him).

“For sure.” You nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of the artificially flavored drink. You winced slightly at the carbonation, clearing your throat before speaking again. “Nobody ever comes through here, and the road isn’t really busy. If she’s got good recall, I wouldn’t worry.”

“Good,” he sighed, crouching down to unbuckle her harness. “She just wants to run. I feel bad keeping her on the leash.” When she was free, she trotted around the bench a few times, sniffing at the budding dandelions and dead grass. When she looked back up at you, she had a speckle of mud on her nose, causing you to giggle at her. Sam reached in the bag he had slung over his shoulder, quickly finding a tennis ball inside. He flashed the brightly coloured ball in front of her, immediately catching her attention. She watched his hand, waiting for him to throw it for her.

He tossed it, not too far but enough for her to run after it. Within seconds, she was off to retrieve it, and Sam was pulling a pack of cigarettes from the same bag. As he lit the end of it, Rose was already on her way back with the ball. Instead of dropping it at Sam’s feet, she turned to the two of you, watching Danny carefully. He chuckled, reaching his hand out for the ball. She dropped it in his open palm, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth as her tail wagged with a fervor.

“You mind if I play with her for a while?” Danny asked, looking between you and the tennis ball in his hand.

“Not at all.” You grinned. He smiled at you, giving your shoulder a slight squeeze before he stood. “Gives me some time to get to know Sam.”

“Of course.” He agreed, nodding his head. “Not too well, though.”

“No need to worry, Michigan.” You promised, your tone soft as you watched him stand. You knew he was only joking, but you couldn’t help but feel your heart tug at his words, wondering why that thought ever crossed his mind in the first place. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Wordlessly, he stood. A stupid smile seemed permanent on his lips as he stumbled forward, drawing his arm back as he walked. The tennis ball soared through the air, and Rose took off in a run, chasing after it. Danny spared one last look over his shoulder, admiring your face before he jogged in the direction he’d thrown the ball. You sat in silence long after he was out of earshot, not sure how to get him off your mind so you could think of something else. Thankfully, Sam took a seat on the bench beside you, further away than Danny once sat. His movement seemed to break you from your trance, and once he knew he had your attention, he began to speak.

“I’m glad I finally got to meet you,” he said, pausing for a moment. “Utah.” He smirked, looking over at you as cigarette smoke billowed around him. The nickname was different coming from Sam’s mouth, definitely not as endearing as when Danny said it, but certainly not unwelcome. It was nice feeling like you were a part of something bigger, rather than your previous impression of only being a girl working at a shitty diner. You didn’t know Sam well enough to believe he thought of you as a friend, but you didn’t mind the idea of being a friend. As the nickname rolled off his tongue, you understood that despite knowing the boy for no longer than a cigarette, you existed as more than a stranger within the frames of his mind. “He talks about you a lot.”

“Does he?” You asked, intrigued at the statement. You looked over, pulling a cigarette from your own pack as you waited for a response. Sam looked too, catching your eye as he let out a soft chuckle.

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded, glancing back over at Danny for a moment. “Came home from the diner that day with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.” Your cheeks heated, but not too extensively. You felt less embarrassed about the prospect knowing that Sam had seen the same lovestruck look in Danny’s eyes.

“I, uh… I was there that first night, when the two of you came in together.” You confessed, striking your lighter and placing it to the tip of your cigarette. You inhaled deeply, pursing your lips and puffing your cheeks as you exhaled the brunt of the smoke. As you gathered your thoughts, you let the rest filter out of your nose, the harsh chemicals stinging your sinuses. “I was too scared to introduce myself, so I’m real glad he decided to come back.” Sam nodded slowly, looking down at his hands as he took in your words.

“He tells me you’re an author?” He raised an eyebrow, flicking the growing ash to the ground as he spoke. “And a damn good one, at that.”

“I am.” You confirmed, feeling your heart flutter at the thought of him speaking so highly of you. “Maybe not as good as he says, but a writer for sure.” You hummed, swallowing down another mouthful of the energy drink. “I moved here from Utah, thought maybe a new city would help me get where I want to be.”

“Did it work?” You closed your eyes at the question, unsure of how to respond. In some ways, it did. In others, not so much. You felt like you had a head start, that you were exactly where you needed to be, and then you threw it away. The first few months, before Vincent managed to take over every aspect of your life, you were better off than ever before. Once he wiggled his way into your heart, you had been to distracted to care about anything other than the sound of your own breaking heart.

“Yes, but I think it might be wearing off.” You confessed. It was the first time you said it aloud despite thinking it a million times.

“So you’re a floater?” You liked Sam; he didn’t seem fond of small talk and fillers. He got straight to the point, and you could appreciate that. As a poet who felt like the best way to know a person was through the soul, the bourgeoning intensity of his questions felt real, rather than invasive.

“Always have been.” You admitted, picking at a hangnail that was bothering you. “What’s the point of free will if you always stay in the same place?”

“You feel that way about people, too?” He turned towards you now, his stare burning and his expression firm, but not menacing. As he sat before you, his words still ringing in your ears, you understood that he did not ask that question on behalf of himself.

“No.” You shook your head, smiling softly despite his heavy statements. “Loyal as a dog, even if it hurts me more than it helps me.” He didn’t break his eye contact, appearing to be very concerned about your answer. He didn’t want to not believe you, but he wanted to be certain you were telling the truth. You couldn’t blame him, so you didn’t.

“I have to look out for him.” He explained, his eyes softening as he realized your transparency was honest, rather than faked. “It’s nothing personal.”

“Didn’t take it as such.” You assured him. “He’s your best friend, and I’m just a girl who he met at a diner.”

“You’re more than that, Utah.” He chuckled. “But he’s my brother.”

“I get it.” You promised.

“He likes you, and I guess I’m just… I hope you like him the same way.” He continued, losing his rigidity the more he explained himself. “He loves with his whole heart, and it’s gotten him hurt before.”

“You’re floaters, too.” You reminded him, not as a defense, but as insight. “He told me you travel a lot, but you guys seem pretty loyal as well. Especially to each other.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He nodded, smiling at his own stupidity. “Maybe it’s too early to be having the ‘if you hurt him, I hurt you’ talk.” He chuckled.

“Maybe, but better too early than too late.” You took another drag from your cigarette, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. “I can respect someone who cares about his friends so much.”

“Thanks,” he grinned, rubbing his face in his hand for a moment. “I like you too, if that counts for something.” He added, wanting to ensure that you knew that. You smiled at the words, liking the feeling of being liked. “Killer music taste.”

“Thank you. Was the only good thing my family ever gave me.” You joked, prying a laugh from him.

“I hope you guys stick it out,” he confessed. “I’ve known you for a few hours, and I already like you better than the last one.”

“Real piece of work?” You asked, heavily interested but hesitant to tread too deeply. He scoffed, giving an exaggerated nod of his head as he closed his eyes.

“You have no idea.” At the sound of his response, you figured it was best not to ask and rather learn with time.

“I’m happy being liked, and I’m okay with being hated if I hurt him. He seems like a great guy. I’ve never really met anyone like him.” You confessed, looking out across the park. Your eyes landed on him, grinning wildly as he threw the ball yet again for the hyper dog. As she ran to fetch it, you caught him looking back over his shoulder at the two of you, making your stomach twist in a knot. “He’s sweet, and he’s… real. Hard to find someone genuine, and hard to find someone who cares about more than just themselves.”

“He is great,” he agreed. “You’ve never met anyone like him cause there isn’t anyone else like him. He’s one of a kind. Obviously, I’ve never been in love with the guy, but I can see the appeal.” At that, you let out an echoing laugh. The sound wrapped around the trees, as warm as the sun and as big as the sky. It felt good to laugh like that, and you hadn’t in a very long time.

“You could’ve fooled me.” You teased, still feeling the ghost of the laugh tingling on your lips. “Are you a musician too?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Sam asked, gazing curiously over at you.

“What do you mean?” You questioned, cocking your head to the side.

“We’re in a band.” He said, shocked that the fact was unbeknownst to you.

“Oh,” you shook your head, trying to recall all of the conversations to see if you missed anything. “No, he told me he played a lot of instruments, but never really said he did anything with it. I thought it was just for fun.”

“No, we’ve released some stuff. We’re planning on taking it further, actually. The reason we came here… we were headed to Nashville, figured maybe it was the right move. Before we took such a big step, we decided to take some time, find some inspiration.”

“Oh, wow.” You hummed, impressed but not necessarily surprised. You figured they had to be artists of some kind, especially for how well you got along with Danny. “He told me about the inspiration part, but not much else.”

“Yeah, my brothers Josh and Jake, went to Nashville early. They wanted to get used to the city, explore a bit. Danny and I figured we’d travel a bit, get a taste of the world so we could write about it, you know?”

“Yeah, I get you.” You nodded, realized you had in essence done the same. “That’s really cool.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, smiling as you spoke. “We only really planned to stay here for a few weeks, but I think we might stay for a little while longer.” You couldn’t help but feel your stomach sink at the sound of his words, dread seeping in faster with ever second that passed.

“A few weeks?” You asked, trying to stay calm.

In all of your earlier internal brooding, you never expected the timeline to be that short.

He looked to you, finding your anxious expression saddening to see. He felt guilty for framing the words so poorly, realizing that he made you worry for no real reason at all. “Don’t worry, Utah.” He assured you, giving you a soft smile. “We were only planning to stay here for a few weeks, but things never seem to go to plan. A waitress at a diner or something like that… seemed to make him want to extend the stay.” His voice was calm, soft and reassuring. You felt better almost instantly, letting out a little sigh of relief. “We managed to book the Airbnb for the rest of the summer. We were going to go to a few different places, but we realized New York has lots to offer.”

“It does.” The smile reappeared on your lips as you squeaked the words out. Even though he would be leaving eventually, you were grateful that a few weeks turned into months. You made a pact with yourself to cherish every minute with Danny, and to live in the moment. It was something you’d never done before, but for him, you wanted to try. There was no room for fear in the short time he would be in New York, as it would do nothing but take away from all the good that you could do.

The sound of paws on wet ground made you turn away from Sam, seeing Rosie barreling towards you two with the ball in her mouth. Danny was not far behind her, although he wasn’t moving nearly as fast. He had a glowing smile and eyes that only wanted to focus on you as he approached. Sam didn’t say anything else, but the look in his eye told you all you needed to know. He liked you, and would continue to like you as long as you didn’t hurt Danny. Lucky for him, you had zero intentions on doing such a thing. You only ever knew how to break things, but this was something you could not bear the thought of damaging. He was someone that you couldn’t bear to break.

“You have fun?” You asked him, your tone changing slightly as he continued to watch you. You weren’t sure if you were being less of yourself around him because of how different you were feeling, or if he was the only person in the world that could make you aware of such parts of you.

“You have no idea.” He joked, resuming his earlier position on the bench. Sam reached into his bag, pulling out a bottle of water and a cup for Rose to drink out of. “He tell you all of my secrets?” Danny asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not exactly,” you chuckled. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in a band?” You questioned, finishing off the last of your beverage and sticking the cigarette butt in the now empty can.

“Oh,” he uttered, seemingly a bit flustered at the question. “Guess I never thought it was that important.” He shrugged.

“I think it’s very important.” You said, brushing off his nonchalance. “If it means something to you… it means something to me.” Your voice was quiet, and you couldn’t believe you’d let such a sentiment slip into the conversation. A small smile turned up on the corners of his lips, your words touching him and making his heart speed.

“If that’s the case, I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner.” He chuckled.

“I’ll forgive you this time, as long as I get to hear you play sometime.” You said, deciding not to pressure him too much.

“I suppose I could make that happen.” His smile continued lingering on his cheeks as he looked over your face once more. He wanted to sear the sight in his memory just so he never had to forget the moment.

You realized quickly that Danny loved the version of you two on a park bench, sharing a muffin just as intensely as you did. He did not say the words, but you could see it in his eyes, and the appreciation for the moment was radiating from him.

He made it incredibly hard not to fall for him.

The afternoon passed without any warning, the sun sinking further in the sky as conversation steadily filled the air. Laughs were plentiful, and the sunlight shining down on the three of you made it all the more remarkable. None of you wanted to part ways, but when the temperature started to nip your skin with cold and the wind tousled your hair, you knew that the fun filled day was drawing to a close. You tried to ignore the sadness plaguing you as Sam packed up Roses’ bag, but it hit you full force as he clipped her leash back to her harness. As he did so, you could feel Danny’s hand still lingering on your thigh, where it had found home not long after his return to the bench. It felt just as good as you imagined it would, and if possible, even better as the time went on.

You gathered the garbage you had accumulated, starting with the muffin wrappers and the empty can. You shoved it all in your pocket, making a mental note to throw it away when you stumbled across the nearest trash can. When you all stood, unspoken that it was time to leave, your limbs felt like lead. Your feet wanted to remain cemented to the ground, hoping that maybe it would draw the moment out longer. You weren’t ready to be alone, and you weren’t ready to part ways with Danny. The day had been so wonderful, fulfilling and beautiful in ways you never expected or imagined. You had a hard time coming to terms with it being over in an instant.

“You ready to go?” Danny asked, his voice quiet as he noticed your refrain.

“O-oh,” you mustered out, nodding your head. “Yeah. All good.” You cleared your throat, knowing in your soul how unconvincing it truly was. He watched you for a moment, and when you caught his eye, to your disbelief, you saw the same emotion in his own gaze.

“How about this,” he started, his face softening ever so slightly, despite already being as inviting as possible. “Why don’t you come with me while I drop Sam off, and then I’ll take you back home.” It was a last ditch attempt to spend an extra ten minutes together, and to him, ten minutes was worth the world.

“I don’t want to waste your time.” You said, feeling guilty at the idea.

“You’re never a waste of my time.” He said firmly, assuring you that he was telling the truth. After a moment of silence, you nodded your head.

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed. “I’d like that… a lot, actually.”

“Me too.” He said, his hand returning to your back as he guided you away from the bench. You were certain if he continued to touch you in such a way, you’d be in love before you ever got back to the car.

The walk away from the bench left you closer together than you were when you walked towards it. For once, you were so thankful for park benches and the stale NA meeting muffins, because you felt like it had given you the opportunity of a lifetime. It was a combination of things you’d experienced a million times before, yet it had never been so memorable to you. You felt as though you could live a million lifetimes and never forget how it felt to sit together and share the stupid double chocolate muffin.

Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you were not sure.

Sam and Rose were at the car first, waiting patiently for the two of you. You stopped at the garbage can at the edge of the lot, tossing all of the trash away. Danny waited patiently for you, unwilling to go any further and leave you behind. When you joined him, he guided you towards the passenger door, opening it for you yet again. You climbed in, still somber at the idea of having to part ways soon enough, but feeling better at the knowledge it wouldn’t be immediately. Once everyone was inside, Danny quickly filled Sam in on the plan, which he agreed to without complaint. Not long after that, Danny backed out of the parking spot and began the journey back to the Airbnb.

He handed you his phone, telling you the passcode and allowing you to choose the music. You looked over at him for a second before turning back to the phone on your lap, stunned at the thought of him caring so little about it. Nobody had ever granted you such access to their personal business.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, noticing you staring at the unlocked phone, unmoving. You looked back over at him, blinking a time or two before responding hesitantly.

“Did you… did you want to open Spotify for me?” You asked, grabbing it and offering it back. He looked away from the road for a second, furrowing his eyebrows as he chuckled at your question.

“No…?” He shook his head. “I gave it to you for a reason, Utah. I don’t have anything to hide.”

“Right.” You nodded, still trying to digest the fact.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, finding your concern a little misplaced.

“Vincent would never have let me—“ you cut yourself off, your lips forming into a tight lipped smile. “You have nothing to hide.” You repeated the sentence quietly to yourself, relating the two thoughts together. “Right.” You nodded again, feeling your chest ache just enough for you to notice. Danny stayed silent for a moment, feeling guilty for bringing up a sore spot he did not know existed.

Vincent would grab his phone in haste and hide it from you, not because he just felt like doing so, but because there were things he did not want you to know. Your own naïveté led you to believe it was just a quirk, but Danny’s lax attitude when it came to sharing his phone with you opened your mind to months worth of red flags you should have been privy to. Actually, spending the entire day with Danny seemed to open the door to a whole new way of thinking.

For a man you did not actually date, Vincent seemed to fuck you up beyond what any actual boyfriend had done in the past.

You felt like an idiot for being so blind to Vincent’s behavior, but you felt that way even more so for bringing his name up in the front seat of Danny’s car. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking of him at all, no matter if it were at home or with company, because you and Vincent would never be together.

You weren’t sure why the thought tugged on your heartstrings, but it did nonetheless.

Amidst your thoughts, you picked a song so the tension in the air would lessen. When things seemed to go back to normal, you returned to the deepest parts of your brain to mull over the topic one more time.

You wanted to hate Vincent, and some part of you did, but you felt like it was not for the right reasons. You didn’t hate him as a whole, but rather only in the ways that made it impossible for you to let him in. You hated his obstinate attitude and his lack of empathy for anyone or anything. You hated his harsh words and anger-first mentality. More than anything, you hated the addiction that turned him into a monster. You believed (or wanted to, at least) that Vincent was good underneath the pile of shit life had thrown at him, and you aimed to believe it with your whole heart. You tried to believe it so strongly because despite the pain he caused, he also did a world of good for you. He hurt you more than most people, and nearly on a daily basis, but he was the only person you shared so much of your life with. He had moments of sweetness, warmth and kindness, but it was rare. Even so, the fact that it was so few and far between to experience such things at his hands, it made it all the better.

Because he was rarely good to you, the moments of good were better than all the bad combined. The bad things beat you down so much that when an hint of praise was sent your way, it was euphoric.

Had you cared to look a little deeper, you would have recognized it was abuse you suffered at his hand, even if it was not physical. You were defending someone who was doing nothing but trying to harm you. Even if it was not lethal, he was doing so in attempt to make you stay with him. He knew your intentions were too good to ever pick up on it.

Well, until that moment, at least. Until a certain someone had shown you it was not normal to be treated such a way.

You looked over at Danny for a moment, guilt plaguing you as you wondered if the reason you had clung to him so quickly was for the right reasons. Did you want him because he encased every trait that Vincent did not have? Did you want him because he did not use anger and cruel words to get you to do as he pleased? Was liking him just an escape from the life you were living before you met him, or was it more?

As you watched his face, listening the soft lull of the Eagles playing in the background, you knew none of those things were true.

Well, none were true in the sense you had previously perceived it as.

Danny was not Vincent, and he never would be. He didn’t have any of the toxic traits, and you were certain he would never speak to you even close to the way Vincent had grown comfortable with. You did not search for Danny in hopes of distracting yourself from Vincent. He walked into your life on a whim, finding you at the right time and for the right reason; chance. He was attractive, funny, and incredibly attentive. You did not kiss him on the park bench to bury your feelings for another man, and you did not kiss him for any other reason than want itself.

Danny was not Vincent, and that was a good thing. You knew your liking for him had nothing to do with anything other than simple things. Danny proved in an instant what Vincent could not in a year, and you needed to stop feeling guilty on behalf of someone who couldn’t care less about you. Even If he did, he had a lousy way of showing it.

Danny showed you the simple fact that you had been trying to avoid for eighteen months; you needed to get Vincent out of your head, or he would be your downfall. Even then, after such a beautiful day shared with a beautiful boy, it came right back to him as soon as the sun went down.

“I’ll see you later, Sam.” Danny said, catching your attention. You looked around, realizing you were parked in a driveway. You felt guilty knowing you had wasted the entire drive being lost in thought over a lost cause.

It was not very ‘live in the moment’ of you, nor was it very ‘apple juice’ of you.

Old habits die hard, it seems.

“See you, Sam. It was really nice meeting you.” You said, turning back to give him a smile. You tried to feign some sort of normalcy as you bid your goodbye, wishing you hadn’t met him on such an off day. You worried you had given him a poor impression, but as he smiled back and reached over the seat to place a hand on your shoulder, your fears seemed to wash away.

“Likewise.” He agreed, giving your shoulder a slight squeeze. “Happy I can finally put a face to the name, Utah. See you soon?”

“For sure.” You agreed, reaching back to pet Rose one last time.

“I’ll see you when you get home, Daniel.” Sam said, his eyes lingering over Danny’s face as if to tell him something non-verbally. You did not know either of them well enough to decode it, so you didn’t attempt to. Danny smiled, nodding once as Sam opened the car door. He helped Rose out, and within minutes, he was standing at the front door, typing in the code to unlock it.

There was a moment of silence, but as you learned, silence was never abundant between the two of you.

“What’s on your mind, Utah?” Danny asked, unable to hold his curiosity. “And don’t say nothing, because I know it’s not true.”

“It’s nothing important, really.”

“I thought we were past that?” He pressed, a small frown decorating his face. As you took in the sight of it, you realized that it was something you never wanted to see again. “Is it about Vincent?” You froze at his name coming from Danny’s mouth, the sound unfamiliar and completely misplaced.

“I… we are past that,” you agreed, nervous that he was getting the wrong impression. You wanted to tell him the truth. You wanted to tell him everything, but the time was not right. It was too early, and you feared that it would only send him running.

You could survive plenty, but Danny walking away suddenly seemed like the one thing that would put your foot in the grave.

“You told me there was nothing going on between you two.” He stated, his tone less than accusatory. He wanted to understand, and he would never be able to if you did not tell him. Words were failing you, and you had no idea how to respond without telling him the entire tragic tale. “I’m not upset, y/n. I just need you to be honest with me, ‘cause I really like you, and I’d hate for things to be… different than what I thought they were.” He phrased his words carefully, not wanting to attack, but rather meet on middle ground.

“There’s not.” You shook your head, denying the claim immediately. You realized how suspicious the quick response was and you let out a groan, collapsing back into the seat. You rubbed your face in your hands, wishing things could just be easy. With Danny, you wanted it all to be as easy as it was when you fell for him. “It’s not… it’s so complicated.”

“It wasn’t that complicated last night… what changed?” A sparkle of hurt in his eye shattered your heart and filled your stomach with lead.

“You drive, and I’ll talk, okay?” You offered, giving him a hopeful look so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. He nodded, thinking it was a fantastic idea. “It’s not complicated between Vincent and I. We’re both extremely complicated people that happen to be in each other's lives. I don’t want you to think that I was lying.” As you began, he backed out of the driveway slowly, checking the street for oncoming traffic. “I can’t tell you everything right now, even if I want to. Can you… can you promise me that it’s okay, and when I’m done talking, that’s that. When I finish telling you, I can’t keep going.”

“Okay,” he agreed, hesitant to go along with the idea. “You’re not a serial killer, or like a mob boss, right?” At that, you let out a laugh, the heaviness in the air becoming easier to handle with one small humor filled comment.

“No, Michigan. Not a serial killer, not a mob boss. Just a regular person who works at a diner, who happens to have baggage that is heavier than some people can carry.” You breathed.

“We’re all a little fucked up, though.” He offered support as he took his time pulling onto the highway. A sad smile crossed your lips, knowing from that comment alone, he would never be able to understand.

“Right.” You agreed, forcing the word through your teeth. “I was telling you the truth last night. When I first moved here, I was alone, and worse than that, lonely. I got a job at the Fox, and I met Vincent there. He was funny, and he was nice to me, and that’s something I’m not particularly used to. We got along, and even had some things in common. We got to talking, more than anyone else at the time, and it snowballed into something bigger. We were something, like I said last night, but not anymore. It didn’t take long for him to show his true colours.”

“What happened?”

“What didn’t?” You chuckled. “Katie, the girl that served you the first night you came to the diner has a thing for Vincent. When she realized what the two of us were up to, she didn’t take it well, and she told me a whole lot about Vincent that he was trying to keep hidden. That he had anger problems, and lots of trouble with the law. She told me he loved the chase, but never seemed to want to keep anything after he got it.” You paused, knowing the next fact was the one that would make or break the situation, proving if Danny meant his promise of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’. “She told me he was an addict, and he was an avid attendee of Narcotics Anonymous mandated by his probation and enforced by his parole officer.” You muttered. Danny didn’t speak, but nodded as he listened.

“I moved to New York to start over, not get caught up in someone else’s shit.” You explained, giving him half-truths to avoid the most pressing issues. “But I liked him, so I talked to him about it. He admitted to all of it, and it sucked, ‘cause after all the weeks of talking and getting to know each other, I realized he was lying to me about nearly everything.” You muttered, feeling your chest ache at the idea. “If he had been truthful, we wouldn’t be here, but I was already in too deep. Cared about him, or whatever.” You brushed it off as if it were no big deal, but it was, and such a big one that it bothered you still. “I told him it was best we stay friends, and he agreed at the time, but it didn’t last long. He backed off for a little while, then he tried again.”

“I’m not a strong-willed person, and I gave in a couple times, but it never went any further. I cut it off the next day… or a few days later, until the next time he tried, at least. We got into this habit of acting like a couple, but never actually being one or doing anything a couple would do. Was just the way we treated each other, like we cared so much but we had no idea what to do about it. After so many months of the same routine, we got to know each other pretty well, which is why it’s so hard to not care, now. We haven’t… not in a long time, but he knows me better than most people. He knows I care, and he knows exactly what to say to keep me on the hook. It’s complicated to explain, because I can’t be with him, and I don’t even really want to be with him, but there’s some part of me that’s still… clinging to him, for some fucking reason.”

“Okay,” Danny said, showing he was still listening.

“I told him that I would never be with him unless he got clean, and after a year and a half… I know it’ll never happen. He tells me he will, and then he acts like he never said it at all, then spins it on me as if it’s my fault. We talk at the diner like we’re best friends, and it’s fun and lighthearted and enjoyable, until I say something he doesn’t like and he snaps. He’s good most of the time, but when it’s bad, it’s terrible. He’s so mean and unpredictable when he wants to be, and I never know if he’s telling me the truth, or if he’s just saying it so I’ll do what he wants.” You paused, taking a deep breath to gather your thoughts. “He knows we’re not together, and he knows we won’t be together, but he acts like I’m his. It’s not in a romantic way, and definitely in no way nice. He treats me like property sometimes, and I don’t get a say in it. Like last night… I’m sick of his shit, and I have no intention of being with him, so I started talking to you, cause I’m single and I’m allowed to do it.”

“Yeah,” Danny agreed, looking over at you with a flicker of concern in his eyes. “You are.” Under the surface, with every word that left your mouth, a flame grew bigger in his chest. He quickly lost his liking for the man he met the night before, even if the emotion was not large to begin with. He was sickened at someone treating you such a way, and more importantly, that you felt like it was what you deserved.

“When you left, he came out to talk to me. He was still pissed off, and when he’s like that, he just says whatever he—“ you cut yourself off, getting more worked up about it the longer you thought about it. You knew it was not the wisest idea to tell Danny the shitty things Vincent had to say about him, but it slipped out without second thought.

“What did he say?” Danny asked, staying calm even if he felt like begging you to continue.

“He was asking me about you, like he had any right to do that. He was acting like I was cheating on him, like I just gave up on him and moved on to someone else, like I’m not the one who’s taken care of him and cleaned up every mistake he’s made for the last eighteen months. I’m not like that, and I have never been. He knows that.” You spoke through clenched teeth, furious as you recalled his accusations and the tone of voice in which he said it. “He told me that I could never be with someone like you, and that you’d leave because I’m too much, that I’d run back to him, ‘cause he thinks he’s right for me. Like I don’t deserve more than that, or more than lies and someone who can’t fucking commit. Like I don’t deserve someone who cares.” Your chest was aching and your head felt like it was going to explode. The simple thought made tears fill your eyes and your stomach sick.

The real reason for your impromptu NA meeting finally surfaced, and it had nothing to do with Danny and his sunshiney personality. Like always, it came back to Vincent and his venomous nature, always doing what he could to kick you down and make you want to stay with him. Vincent did as he intended; he beat you down enough to make you think that Danny would never be with you, and it took all day for you to see the truth to the situation. This time was different, because his insults finally pushed you further away rather than forcing you back to him.

Silence became the two of you for a moment, emotion thick in the air as one word rang through both of your minds.

Abuse.

Of course, you couldn’t see it that way, because you were stuck in it. The hateful words felt deserved, and you felt wrong for liking Danny so much, even if you did not need to. You didn’t want to be with Vincent, and you weren’t in love with him, but his love for destroying your ego caused you to continue running back to him. You weren’t sorrowful on behalf of hurting him, but because you felt like a monster for finally taking a step back.

“You deserve someone who cares.” Danny whispered. The soft tone broke you free from the mental turmoil for a moment. “I care.”

“I know.” Your voice was just as quiet as his. “It feels nice.”

“It… it can keep feeling nice, Utah.” He said, his eyes steady on the road in front of him. “I would like to keep caring. I’d like it a lot, actually.”

“I would like it, too.” You admitted, looking down at your hands in your lap. “But it’s complicated, and I get it if you don’t want to. I get it if it’s too much.”

“What? No, y/n.” He shook his head, shocked that you got that impression from his words. “I don’t think it’s nearly as complicated as you made it seem.” You looked over at him, a flicker of hope in your eye. It had been a long time since you felt an emotion like such. “Sounds like he’s an asshole, and you’re trying to get away from it.”

Your first instinct was to defend Vincent, much like you had every other time someone had said something harsh about him. Instead of jumping right away, like a little guard dog for a man who would never do the same for you, you digested the words Danny had to say, and you agreed.

“Y-yeah,” you nodded “but it’s a whole lot more than that.”

“Not really.” He looked over, catching sight of your confusion. “Are you in love with him?” You thought about it for a moment, eventually shaking your head.

“I love him, but I’m not in love with him.”

“Right.” He said. “If he changed tomorrow, if he did everything you asked of him and he stuck with it, would you be with him? Even after all the shit he’s already done?” The idea had never crossed your mind before; you were stuck in the vicious cycle of hoping he’d change, yet never considered the fact that deep down, he would still be the same person. Even if he was clean, it could not erase the pain he’d already caused, and it would not take back the mean words already spewed in moments of anger. It would not change his lack of commitment, nor his lack of respect for you as a person.

If Vincent got clean tomorrow, even if the addictions were the cause of his vile behavior, there was not enough time in the world to atone for the mistakes he had already made.

“No.”

One single word seemed to be a pivotal moment in your life. It was something you hadn’t mustered the courage to admit, even if deep down you knew it to be true. You and Vincent would never work, no matter which version, or in any lifetime. You spent eighteen months wishing to see in him what you saw from Danny in a day.

All it took was the right person to show you how wrong the last one was.

“Then I don’t think it’s that complicated, Utah.”

As if some stroke of fate, as he said it, you neared the Fox on the highway. You looked out as you passed by, noticing first the empty lot, then Vincent’s old Pontiac parked in front of the entrance with the door open. Dylan and him stood side by side, sharing a cigarette. Even in the brief passing, you looked at him as you drove by and for the first time in your life, you felt nothing.

Well, nothing in comparison to what you felt for the boy sitting next to you, at least.

“I guess it’s not, Michigan.” You agreed, finding it easy to pull your eyes away from the diner if it meant you could look at him.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry if I made you second guess anything. I just… I was worried, that's all.”

“You don’t have anything to be worried about.” He assured you. “I’m happy I know, because I understand it now.” Your heart warmed at his words, never experiencing such sweetness from another person. “Plus, if it helps you feel better, I’d listen to you all day.”

“You’re pretty good, you know that?” He let out a small laugh, looking over with confusion on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“At getting people to fall for you. You’re good at it.” He let his eyes linger over you for a moment, unsure if he was understanding what you meant. When you gave him a small smile, he felt his cheeks tinge red. You didn’t notice it much under the golden glow of the setting sun, but that was mostly because it was framing him in an ethereal light that made it difficult to pick out small details, rather than admire him as a whole.

Normally, attention to detail was your specialty, but he was so special that it felt inherently wrong not to admire all of him.

“Yeah… you are, too.”

The confessions were indirect, yet meant a great deal to the both of you. It was telling of all you were feeling, but not enough to be overbearing on the first date.

“Where do you live, Utah?” The question you had been dreading for many reasons finally surfaced. You licked your lips, your entire mouth suddenly going dry at the thought. You looked around outside, trying to figure out where you were so you could give him directions. You had been too immersed in him to care about what was going on outside of the vehicle. You weren’t too far away from your apartment, and you were thankful that the instruction wouldn’t be too complicated.

“Um,” you hummed, pausing before giving him any direction. “Take a left on this street.” You pointed to the next turn, watching him as he clicked on the signal light and did as you said. “You’re gonna see a shitty old house that’s half burnt down. Take a right there.”

“Alright.” He nodded. You tapped your fingers against your leg, growing more nervous as he began to drive closer. The buildings grew more tattered looking with each passing moment, and you felt like you were going to explode. Nervousness plagued you as you wondered what he was thinking, or what he would think when he saw the state of your tiny little subdivision. Eventually, it grew to be too much and you had to speak.

“It’s not a very nice neighborhood… I’m sorry. I hope it doesn’t scare you away. It’s not half-bad once you get used to it.” You blurted out, immediately wishing you had bit your tongue and stayed quiet. He drummed his fingers against the leather steering wheel, looking around outside. His silence was a killer, and it only made you feel worse about the fact.

“I don’t think it’s bad at all.” At first, you thought he was lying to lessen the blow of what was to come next. When he didn’t continue, your nervous jitters seemed to wear away.

“R-really?” You stuttered, shocked at the response.

“Really.” He confirmed. “When I asked you to hang out, I wasn’t doing it in hopes you had a mansion or anything like that. I asked you out cause I like you, Utah. You don’t have to worry so much.” You wanted to respond, but you saw your complex out of the corner of your eye as he turned down the street.

“My building is right next to that bar. You can just park on the street. Nobody really drives down here unless they have to.” You explained, pointing it out to him. “And… thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for being nice.” He whispered, parking right in front of the front door for you. When he put the car in park, he looked out the window for a while, realizing the extent of what he said and hurting at the thought of you feeling like you needed to thank him at all. He hated the idea of you feeling lesser, because he thought you were the best thing the world had to offer. It only took a day to know that you were everything, and knowing someone made you feel like nothing was sickening. “I should be thanking you for such a fantastic day.”

“It wasn’t anything much. I’m sorry for forgetting this morning, and I’m sorry I didn’t have something better planned.” You paused, feeling an ache in your heart before you spoke again. “Money is pretty tight, as I’m sure you can tell, but I hope you still had fun.” You knew your fun-filled day was likely nothing in comparison to what he was used to, and a wave of insecurities washed over as you thought about it.

“Are you kidding?” He said, astonished at your lack of awareness of the situation and oblivion to his feelings. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Utah. I had a great day, and it had nothing to do with where we went or what we did. I had a great day because it was with you.” He looked over at you, finding his heart speed at the sight of your face. He’d been looking at you all day and he was certain he would never get sick of it. “I’d sit on a park bench and share a muffin with you every day if I could, ‘cause I think that version of me is the happiest.”

God, why did he have to be so cute?

“I think that version of me might be the happiest. If not, it’s a close second to the version of me kissing you on that park bench.” You smiled, not daring to look away from him.

“Right, how could I forget that? That version of me is the happiest for sure.”

You were beginning to question if someone like him could even be real, or if you were stuck in a grand hallucination about someone you’d always wished to meet.

“I think I’d also like the version of us kissing in your car before I have to go inside.” You whispered, finding a newfound confidence after hearing all of his sweet words.

“I think I’d like that too.” He agreed, but did not make a move. He wanted you to do it on your own time, when you were comfortable.

“You think there’s a version of us that sits here all night, talking until the sun comes up?” You asked, leaning across the center console so you could be closer to him.

“If you’d like that, I’m sure there is.” He breathed, nodding as he moved towards you, too.

“I think I’d like any version of us, Michigan.” You confessed, a soft smile crossed your lips. He was close now, the warmth of his body radiating through the air and wrapping you in an aura of comfort.

“I know I’d like any version of us, Utah.” With that, his hand reached out to cup your cheek and he moved forward, closing the gap between you. You closed your eyes, a wave of blissfulness washing over you as his mouth moved against your own. You stayed like that for a long while, neither of you seeming to want to end the moment. When he did feel like he was going to pull away, you raised your hand to his arm and pulled him closer.

That seemed to be the permissive nature he was waiting for, and his hand dropped from your cheek to your hip. If he had one more shred of courage, you thought he might pull you across the console and into the driver's seat with him. He didn’t, but there was a part of you that so desperately wished he would. Now that you had him freely, with no guilt or shame looming over you, you wanted all of him. His large hand felt good on your hip, like it was always meant to be there, and the taste of him on your tongue was intoxicating.

You had never felt a touch nearly as good as his, and you’d never had an addiction that left you feeling so sick.

He was the best thing to ever exist, but all great things come with risk, and you feared that the risk that accompanied his love would be catastrophic.

He was lucky he caught you on a day where your self-control was greatly lacking.

Or maybe, you were the lucky one for once.

“Is there a version of us that goes upstairs together?” You asked, rushing the question out without thinking about the consequences. Thankfully, he seemed just as impulsive as you did in the moment. Without a response, he unbuckled his own seatbelt and climbed out of the car. Within seconds, he was opening your door for you and helping you out of the vehicle.

When your feet hit the ground, your hands found him immediately, already missing the feeling of touching him. In a fit of giggles and wandering touches, you managed to pull your keys from your pocket and unlock the front door. Danny stepped forward, wedging his foot between the door and the frame so it would not shut and lock itself. Then, he pulled you into him by your hip, seemingly unable to wait until you were upstairs to kiss you. You raised your hand to his cheek, cupping it gently and tangling your fingers in the locks of hair hanging over his cheek.

If you weren’t so enamored with the curly headed boy promising to be all that you once wished for, you would have noticed the old, rusted Pontiac Tempest sitting just down the street by the door of the Pony.

If you weren’t so concerned about your own happiness, you might have noticed the grief stricken expression of a broken boy sitting in the front seat, trying his best to disappear into ripped leather and the rotten body as tears stung his eyes.

Maybe, if Vincent cared enough to hold his sharp tongue and sober up, he would have been the boy carrying you home, rather than the boy watching as someone else swept you off your feet. He wanted to be all that you needed, but he did not know how.

Instead of trying, he waited for your will to bend so you would accept him as he was.

When the front door of your apartment complex fell shut behind the two of you, Vincent understood that waiting had never been the answer, and your will would never bend for him.

A bloody fist and a broken heart screamed into the night, knowing that his spot in your bed was finally filled by someone more willing to give than take.

Inside the apartment complex, the two of you ran up the stairs in a mess of lingering touches and excited jitters. You unlocked your front door, kicking it open while turning to Danny as you stepped backwards inside. His hands found your hips as soon as the door closed behind you, and his lips met your own with a whole new ferocity. Now, without any restrictions and no onlookers to bother you, you felt a type of freedom you hadn’t felt in your entire life.

Thankfully, he was too immersed in the feeling of your body pressed against his to care about the peeling paint and exposed brick on the walls.

Then again, after everything he had said that day, you were beginning to believe he wouldn’t have cared either way.

You were so focused on him that your keychain fell from your fingers, clanging against the floor but nowhere near loud enough to distract the two of you. Without breaking your kiss, you led him backwards into the ‘kitchen’ (the whole apartment was pretty much one big room anyway, so you were really just leading him to the part with a table). He followed your lead, uncaring for where he ended up as long as there was a promise of you.

The ache between your legs was so strong that you felt like you might die before he could relieve it. He parted from you only for a moment to take in his surroundings. His lips were swollen, blushed with pink darker than usual from the moment of intimacy just moments before. His chest was rising and falling, trying to catch up on lost air, and his eyes had darkened significantly compared to what you were used to.

If you thought Danny was stunning before, it had no comparison to how he looked then.

He looked past you, his gaze settling on the table filled with notebooks and pens. He looked back at you with a hint of an apology in his eye, then he reached around you. With one swipe of his arm, the surface was cleared of any clutter. Even if you were upset over it (which you certainly weren’t), his hands were already on your hips again and he lifted you onto the table before you even had time to form a complaint about it. If there was any hesitation about the action, it was long gone when he lifted you so easily, and your stomach was twisting with knots at the thought of him using such strength again. When you were settled atop the shaky table you’d found outside on the side of the street (which was a score in your option), you took it upon yourself to toss your jacket to the floor to join the keys.

His hands snaked up the sides of your sweater, his cold fingers settling on the warm skin. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, and an entire day of trying to hold yourself back from how you felt about him dissolved into the most pointless battle you’d ever fought. You needed him, and you needed him more than the starving needed food, and it felt better than water to the thirsty. You needed Danny in every way possible, and you could not will yourself to wait. After weeks of texts and phone calls, visits to the diner where you avoided working as much as possible, to today when you shared kisses and sweet sentiments and tortured yourselves with endless flirting.

“Is this okay?” He asked, his breathing still heavy as he looked over your face for any sign of discomfort.

“God, yes.” You nodded, looking up at him towering over you still. There was a clear look of desperation in your eyes, and upon discovering it, it seemed to drive him near insanity. “Please, don’t stop.” If the look in your eye sent him spiraling, the words pushed him over the edge. The slight whimper in your tone was kryptonite to him and the way your lips formed into a pout as you spoke nearly forced him straight to his knees.

He brought his hand to your cheek again, more power behind his touch than the last time. His desire for you had thrown the gentle touch and hesitancy into the garbage. His other hand, still resting just under your shirt, slid to your back. He pulled you closer to him, settling between your legs in an instant. He leaned down, kissing you softly but with a force behind it that made your head spin. Just like every other thing he’d done that day, it felt no less than perfect. No less than right.

You reached up, brushing the jacket off his shoulders, feeling unequal in the fight of taking each other's clothes off. He let go of you just long enough to toss it to the floor, then resumed his position without any further interruption. Your tongue swiped over his bottom lip, begging him for a taste of something more, a taste of the one sin you could indulge in without it ruining your life. If you had to bet, you would have wasted your life savings on the fact that it would be better than anything you had ever felt before.

He lifted your sweater, exposing you to the chill of the air. You did not flinch, nor did you give it a second thought, knowing that soon enough he’d be warming you up again. Before he slipped the sweater over your head, he left a trail of kisses down your jawline, settling his lips just under your ear. You felt his teeth graze over the sensitive spot he’d discovered, making you shiver under his touch. “I need you, Danny.” You muttered, your fingers grasping around his bicep. The muscle flexed in response to your touch, and you were unsure if it was involuntary or purposeful.

He let out a hum at your words, the sound husky as it rattled through his chest, settling somewhere deep in your bones and making home there. He pulled away, slipping your sweater over your head and adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. You sat in front of him, your bra the only thing standing between you and being exposed to him. The reality began to catch up to you, but it did not scare you away. The care and appreciation in his eyes was something new, and something you were desperate to get used to. Every touch was laced with caution, yet firmly accentuated everything he’d been feeling for you since the minute he laid eyes on you. His need for your comfort was beautiful, but nothing was more precious than him as a whole. You thought you would chicken out, that you would run after the reality of being so intimate with someone new after a year and a half hit you, but the feeling never came. It didn’t scare you, and it didn’t make you want to run; it drew you closer to him, and you wondered if it could feel this good all of the time.

“We can keep doing this, if that’s what you want.” He said, his fingers tickling your back as they trailed upwards, settling on the clasp of your bra. “It doesn’t have to just be tonight. I don’t want it to end after tonight.”

“Were you reading my mind?” You giggled, feeling the tension of the straps lessen as he unclipped the hooks.

“What do you mean?” He chuckled, looking down over your face. The simplicity between you two was astounding.

“I was just wondering if life could feel this good all of the time. Guess you just answered that for me.” You smiled up at him, lost in the sweetness of his eyes. “I don’t really want it to end after tonight, either.”

“Then it’s settled.” He said, dropping your bra to the floor. “We can spend lots of days sharing muffins on park benches.”

“And kissing on park benches?”

“And even better things… on kitchen tables.”

“I like the sound of that, too.” You breathed, talking fast in hopes that it would speed the process up. You began to notice that despite your lack of clothing, his eyes had yet to leave your face. You were afraid for him to look further, to inspect every flaw and insecurity that was in perfect display for him. You didn’t want him to look downwards, finding the sense of desire fleeing him as he picked up on every detail that you had grown to hate. As his eyes lingered on your face, he made no attempt to break the stare.

He cared about you more than he cared about your body. He’d grown to appreciate every small detail of you before ever taking your clothes off, and his opinion did not change for something as feeble as scars and imperfections. To him, less than perfect could not exist within you.

You gave him a smile. It was small, but it was reassuring. He returned the expression, letting his fingers drift carefully over the soft skin of your stomach. The light tickle distracted you from your internal thoughts, bringing you back to reality and forcing you to realize that Danny was not like the people that came before him. He was kind, he was sweet, and he cared. Even if you were not used to it, you knew it to be true.

He guided your upper half backwards slightly, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your shoulder. Your eyes fluttered closed as the warmth of his lips spread across your entire body. His tongue delicately drifted over your collarbone, stopping momentarily to suck marks into the skin that would remind you of him in days to come. He continued downwards as his hand reached your chest, cupping one of your breasts in his hands. He let his thumb drift over one of your nipples as his tongue found the other.

“O-oh, fuck.” You squeaked, looking down at the top of his head as his tongue circled around the sensitive nub. It was an unfamiliar feeling, not because you’d never had sex, but because you rarely had sex that was more than just penetrative. Most often, it was treated as a race, but from the time you stepped into the door to where you were now, you weren’t even fully undressed. Normally, you’d already be turned on your side and begging yourself to fall asleep so you could finish Vincent’s job in the morning after he left.

Vincent was not bad at sex, but he certainly didn’t care about your pleasure more than his own.

Unless he was trying to apologize for something, which was rare in itself.

As he continued on, you found yourself moving your hips downward on the table, desperate for the friction as he continued his tirade. The first few times, he managed to ignore it. As it continued, he found it much harder to keep himself distracted, thinking too much about the mess between your legs he was responsible for.

“What’s wrong, baby?” The pet name seemed to shatter your psyche, forcing you to let go of what little self-respect you had left. “You want me to take care of you?” Even his filthy side was sweet, and it was just as addicting as the rest of him.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, watching intently as he unbuttoned your jeans. As he pulled down the zipper, you lifted your hips from the table. He hooked his fingers through the sides of your underwear, pulling both down in one swift motion. When you placed your hips back down, the coolness of the surface came as a shock, causing you to gasp. “I don’t think this is fair.” You said, trying to recover from the cold.

“What’s not fair?” He asked, clearly trying his best to only focus on your face. Having you completely exposed before him was something he had been waiting for, but he didn’t want to make it glaringly obvious.

“That I’m naked and you’re not.” You said, pointing out the obvious.

“Right.” He chuckled, nodding as he grabbed the hem of his shirt in his hands. He pulled it over his head, tossing it away. It was a mannerism he picked up from you, finding you saying the word more often than not. He thought it was cute, and so much so that it quickly infiltrated his own vocabulary. “Better?”

“Almost.” You said, wanting him to take the rest off, too.

“Impatient?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No,” you scoffed, denying the accusation almost immediately. “Okay yeah, maybe. So what?” You rolled your eyes.

“Some things are better if you wait.” He said, stepping towards you. He reached out, letting his hands skim your thighs. The touch sent jolts of electricity throughout your whole body, almost making you forget your argument. You, unlike him, could not hold back your stare. Your eyes were studying every available inch of him, from the broadness of his shoulders, to his strong arms, to the patch of hair on his chest. You swallowed hard at the sight of his stomach, and found your mouth watering when you reached the treasure trail, leading to the leather of his belt. The peek of a v-line enticed you further, and eventually you forced yourself to look back at his face. His lip was upturned into a smirk, but he didn’t comment on your blatant staring.

“I don’t know if that’s true. I’m not a big fan of waiting.” You disagreed, frowning only slightly. Instead of responding, he sank to his knees between your legs, looking up at you through his lashes.

“Some things, Utah.” He repeated, his arms hooking underneath your legs and his large hands landing on the outside of your thighs. He guided one leg over your shoulder, slowly running his hand down the limb to keep up the morale despite your disagreement. “Not everything.” With that, he placed a small kiss to the inside of your thigh, drawing back for just a moment to admire you, too. His eyes raked over your upper half, taking an extra moment to seat the memory into his mind forever. Then, his gaze dropped, looking over your stomach. You wanted to shy away, to hide yourself so he did not pick up on any rolls or stretch marks that made the picture less appealing. He seemed to notice your refrain, his eyes flickering back to your face. “You’re gorgeous, y/n.” He said, his tone firm. Your cheeks reddened at the words and you could not seem to formulate a response. “The prettiest girl I have ever seen.”

“You, too.” You squeaked, your cheeks turning crimson now, incriminating you further. He let out a chuckle.

“I’m the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen? Thank you.” What would normally leave you in an anxious mess seemed to melt the tension away further. Your silly comment didn’t bother you in the slightest, because it struck a smile on his face. That was something that outshined anything else.

“Your heart swelled with affection for the man between your legs, and your insecurities seemed to melt away. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” He shook his head, happy that it seemed to lessen your anxiety. His lips dusted over your thighs again before his eyes settled on your cunt. The muscles in his jaw tensed and his eyes darkened further. You were aching for him, dripping with arousal and it was glaringly obvious how badly you needed him to touch you. After taking the time to appreciate you, he guided your other leg over his shoulder. Then, he leaned forward, letting his tongue connect with your core.

“Fuck,” you hissed, your eyes closing and your hips moving forward to meet his mouth. He barely touched you, but it felt like he’d given you the whole world. It had been too long, and you had been waiting for him for a long time. He let his tongue run through you, focusing first on your entrance to get a taste of the arousal he’d caused. He took in a long breath, humming a noise of pleasure from the sweetness of you. Eventually, his tongue moved upwards, circling around your swollen clit to give you a little relief.

You reached down, tangling your hand in his hair as your back arched, begging for more without even saying a word. From your reaction alone, he could tell how badly you needed it and he was nothing if not generous. He flattened his tongue against you, licking a solid stripe for one last savoring moment before returning his focus to your clit. He suctioned his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves, the feeling of pleasure quickly spreading through your entire body. Your abdomen tensed in reaction to the sensation, finding it unfamiliar yet familiar all the same. It was something you did not experience often, and something you hadn’t experienced in a very long time. You couldn’t remember if it normally felt so good, or if Danny was just good at what he did.

As you thought back, you knew nothing had ever compared to what he was doing to you now, and Danny was most definitely just good at what he did.

You were embarrassed at how good you were feeling, unbelieving of the knot already tightening in your belly. Your fingers tightened in his hair, drawing him closer as his tongue continued to work at you. A whine left your lips, laced with neediness and only encouraging him further.

“Feels so fucking good, baby. Please don’t stop.” The pet name did the same to him as it did for you, filling his stomach with an unfamiliar feeling and making his head spin. He groaned against you, the vibration furthering your pleasure as you gripped onto the counter with force to hold yourself steady. Your head fell back between your shoulders, a moan tearing through your chest as a wave of euphoria ran through you. You wanted to cum, but you didn’t want him to stop. It was a Catch-22 for you, but either outcome was going to be good no matter what.

His hands tightened around your hips, pulling you closer to the edge of the table for easier access to you. He wanted all of you, in any way he could have you. The taste of you on his tongue was something he never wanted to forget, and the feeling of your legs trembling in response to his own actions was thrilling. He quickly learned that making you feel good was the best feeling in the whole world.

“Oh, god.” You whined. He felt your leg tightened around him, drawing him closer without any intent at all. The sound was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, but he knew what it meant. He drew back, quickly slipping his thumb in place of his tongue so he did not completely ruin the moment for you. You looked down, desperation in your eyes as you silently pleaded with him to keep doing what he was seconds before.

“So close already?” He asked, only slightly teasing you as his thumb drifted over your clit. It felt good, but nowhere near how good his mouth felt.

“I-I know, I’m s-sorry.” You stuttered, feeling yourself clench around nothing.

“Don’t ever apologize for that.” He muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. The domineering tone of voice he was using sent a rush of emotion straight to your core, making it even harder to hold on. “Do you want to cum for me, baby?”

“I do,” you gasped, feeling the burning in your belly reach an intensity you’d never quite felt before. “Please, baby. I need it so bad. Please.” You groaned, your knuckles turning white from your grip on the edge of the tabletop.

“Sound so pretty when you beg for it,” he muttered, taking a deep breath. You felt his fingers slide down to your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you as his eyes focused intently on his hand. The look on his face nearly drove you over the edge alone, but when his fingers curled upwards, hitting the sweet spot inside of you, there was no more holding back. “Cum for me, baby. Wanna hear how good it feels.”

As he spoke, you realized that his tongue was more beneficial when it was talking you through it, rather than doing the work. The sound of his voice was like a blanket of comfort and the filth of his words daring you closer to the edge. You felt yourself clench around his fingers, the muscles in your stomach tightening as your legs began to shake. You weren’t sure if you had ever felt so good in your life, and you wondered how it was so fucking easy for him to do such things to you.

“Fuck, Danny.” You cursed, a whimper falling from your lips as pleasure plagued your entire body.

“That’s it, beautiful. Just like that.” He encouraged, keeping his thumb in time with the pump of his fingers. You let out a moan in response, but it got stuck in your throat. You wanted to cry out, to tell him all about how good he was making you feel, but you could not even do that. It felt so fantastic that it made you forget how to. “Tell me about it, gorgeous.” He whispered, desperate to hear the beautiful noises fall from your lips. At the sound of his voice, the moans grew louder and more desperate, easily telling him of all he wanted to know.

You did not remember how to do it, unless of course he was telling you to. You would do anything he asked of you.

The sensation became too much, all of your nerve endings searing with pleasure. Your stomach felt like it was engulfed in flames and your limbs ached with the tension of your muscles. You descended into the climax, euphoria surrounding you as your eyes squeezed shut. It felt so good, so intense that you feared you might fall if not for his strong hand holding you steady. “There you go,” he hummed, his eyes glued to your face as it twisted into an expression of pleasure. He normally thought you were stunning, but in that moment, he thought it more than ever.

As you began to come down from the high, you were still delirious. So much so that you barely noticed him standing, unbuckling his belt and tossing it to the ground. You only came to when he kicked his jeans to the side, taking post between your legs once again. “M’sorry, baby. I don’t think I can wait any longer.” He admitted, regretful that he seemed to be rushing.

“It’s okay,” you promised, now more excited at the idea of fully having him.

“I can give you more later, but right now, I need you.”

Oh, how fantastic it felt to be needed by him.

“S’okay, Danny.” You reiterated your point, finding no need for him to feel bad at all. “Please fuck me.”

“If you insist.” He chuckled, placing his hand on your back as he prompted you to lay down on the table. “Would you like me to make it more romantic? Could I find a candle or something, really set the mood?”

“Shut up.” You giggled, wincing as your back hit the cold table. The temperature made your nipples harden even further, and his eyes scanned down to your chest as if he was expecting it, or waiting for it, even.

“Aw, come on. No need to be mean.” He said, lifting your legs and wrapping them around him. By your thighs, he pulled you to the edge of the table to make it easier for you both. “Just thought I’d offer.”

“Not a big romance fan.” You confessed, grinning up at him.

“No?” He raised an eyebrow, resting the tip of his cock on your entrance. The feeling was enticing, but you didn’t want to rush into it. “So what? You’d rather me fuck you like a whore?” The switch in tone made your blood run cold, but not because you didn’t like it. The change in his voice was incredibly appealing, and you wanted him to use it more often. He could see the expression in your face change, going from amused to intrigued. A smile blossomed on his lips as he ran his tip through the wetness still pooling between your legs. “Is that it, baby?” He questioned, continuing to tease you. An intense sensation spread through your stomach as his cock brushed over your still sensitive clit, driving you crazy the longer he let it linger there.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, feeling him line himself up with you again.

“What was that? Didn’t quite hear you.” He asked, pushing his hips forward only slightly. Just his tip rested inside of you, the feeling worse than torture. You let out a sigh, wondering if it would encourage him if you moved down on him yourself.

“Please fuck me, Danny.” You repeated, growing more desperate by the second.

“One more time?” He pressed further, trying his best to get on your nerves.

“Oh, come on.” You scoffed, growing irritated with his teasing. “You want me to sit here and beg for it all night?” You didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but at the same time, you were more than ready for him to fuck you. As the words left your lips, he seemed to take it better than expected and slammed his hips forward. A cry left your lips at the suddenness of his actions, the sensation painful but so pleasant at the same time.

“I liked it a whole lot better when you were.” He said, honest enough. He was mostly saying it just to keep up the act, but you had pressed a button, even if it wasn’t very long lasting. The feeling of being inside of you atoned for the moment of annoyance.

“I’m s-sure you did.” You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut as he pulled your hips down on him and slammed back into you.

“Didn’t take you for a brat.” He commented, smirking down at you as he fucked into you. It was so good, something you had dreamed about, yet even better than you imagined. A fictional fabrication of the scenario did not even come close to the feeling of the real thing. The sound of skin on skin, the sweaty bodies sticking together, the heavy breathing ringing through the room was all too much, yet not enough at the same time.

“I am not a brat,” you argued, reaching out to touch him. Your fingers settled on his arm, the warmth of his body familiar and comforting. It reminded you he was still him, and he would be long after the act was over. Sex was nice, but the touch was grounding, ensuring you wouldn’t fall too far from reality. “Just because I don’t say exactly what you want me to say doesn’t make me a brat.”

“I think it does, baby.” He chuckled, loving the fact that even during sex, there was that fiery little part of you that still existed. It was the very thing that drew him to you in the first place. “Where’d the arguments come from? You were so good just a few minutes ago.”

“What, you only want to fuck me when I’m being good for you?” You asked, gripping his arm a little tighter as you felt his cock brush against your cervix. “Bit self-centered, don’t you think?”

“No, I still want to fuck you.” He said , his fingers digging into your hips in the most delicious way. You could feel the sting of bruises already begin to form, and you were excited to see the dark shadows the next morning to remind you of his generous nature. “Makes it more fun, actually.”

“Why is that?” You rolled your eyes, finding the role of a brat more fitting with each second that passed. It was comfortable with him, and your personality continued to shine through even while experiencing such new things.

“‘Cause I don’t have to feel bad when I tell you to shut the fuck up.” He stated, delivering another forceful thrust of his hips. This time, you did not have an argument for his words, because a sharp yelp sounded through the room, echoing off the walls and hanging heavy in the air. The roughness felt so good, addicting almost. Everything about him was, and you weren’t surprised about it anymore. “You want to be good for me again, baby?”

“Why should I?” You said, trying to keep your voice steady, but it proved difficult. Your words were shaky, strained with the knot tightening in your belly again. He let out another chuckle, finding your fight endearing. You did not take him as dominant, especially after how sweet he’d been to you all day, but it was good. Now that you saw the difference, it seemed fitting.

“‘Cause you want to cum again.” He stated as a matter-of-fact.

“And if I’m not good, you won’t let me?” Your eyes closed, the pull of pleasure calling your name as sweat began to head on your forehead. You were calling his bluff, but there was a small part of you that feared he really would not let you.

“I’d definitely consider it.” He said, a knowing look on his face. He would consider it, and he would go through with it.

“I’m sorry, baby.” You muttered, feeling breathless at the abundance of emotion coursing through your veins. The feeling was so intense it was making your head swirl, and you couldn’t risk letting go of it.

“Are you?” He asked, letting his hand trail up your stomach. “Or are you just saying it to get what you want?” His hand settled over your breast, firmly squeezing it in his hand and showcasing his desire to move on from the topic.

“Oh, does it really matter?” You exclaimed, nearly delirious from your need for him. Talking was a dead-end, and as much as you liked the sultry tone of his voice, there were more pressing matters at hand.

“It does,” he nodded, letting his thumb drift over your hardened nipple. The sensation raised goosebumps across your skin, combining with the feeling growing more intense in the pit of your stomach. It was maddening, the longer it continued the more you feared for your life, but you couldn’t bear the thought of him stopping. When you didn’t respond, he pinched your nipple between his fingers, sending a shock through you.

“I mean it, I’m sorry.” You rushed out, hoping his impatience wouldn’t affect his desire to please you.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He asked, looking down at you with adoration sparkling in his eye. Even with his mind clouded by desire, he couldn’t help but appreciate you and all of your beauty. Your eyes glistening with annoyance and the way your skin wrinkled by your eyebrows when you furrowed them caught his attention, but your flushed cheeks and parted lips locked him in for eternity. The thin layer of sweat over your forehead and the messy hair gave him a sense of confidence, and your hands reaching for him, grasping desperately to touch him filled him with a warmth he’d never quite felt before.

Fucking you felt right, but so did the feelings blossoming in his heart. You were right to him, no matter what baggage you came with or how adverse you felt about falling in love and opening your heart. He could see that you felt it to, making the falling much less scary. Knowing you were falling to meant he had someone to hold along the way, rather than experiencing it by himself.

“Can you keep being good for me?” He teased, dropping his hand from your chest. His fingers ghosted down your stomach and eventually settled around the front of your thigh. He used the grip as leverage to pull you back onto him as he kept a steady pace with his hips. “Or is that too much to ask of you?” The playful banter was comforting, and with every word he spoke, it seemed like you were closer and closer to your second climax. Even though his words were rude at times, clearly used to put you in your place, you knew it was an act. Beneath the surface, there was still ample amounts of care, ensuring that even if his words were harsh, you knew he did not mean them.

“I can,” you nodded, feeling too good to test his patience. As much as you enjoyed teasing him, you enjoyed getting off much more. You would be a fool to say anything that might cause him to stop.

“Are you going to cum for me, baby?” He asked, noticing the look in your eye. It was familiar now, a sight he was certain he’d never forget. His tone was sweer, doting on you as if he hadn’t just spent the last few minutes throwing indirect insults your way.

“Fuck yes,” you whimpered, feeling your walls tightening around him, drawing him in even further in hopes of locking him there for eternity. “So close, baby.” You warned, feeling his hand snake between your legs. When his thumb landed on your clit, tracing slow circles in time with his hips, he did not need to speak for you to know what he wanted.

“Come on, baby.” He encouraged, but it was a plea disguised as something else. He needed it just as much as you did, finding himself barely hanging on. You looked up at his face, finding everything you were seeing drive you even close to the edge. His curls were sticking to his neck, his head tilted back ever so slightly as he staved off his own pleasure. His adams apple stood prominently, drawing your focus to his throat and in turn, the columns of his neck leading down to his collarbones. He was a work of art, and you felt discrepant in comparison to his beauty. The curl of his lip, holding back a groan that was begging to be spoken made you wonder what you did to deserve such a relation with him. Every detail of him was more extravagant than the last, and you knew that nobody would ever compare.

He looked down, noticing your lack of words, noticing immediately that you had been staring at him. His thumb moved faster with more pressure behind the action as a smirk turned his lips. Your face flushed, realizing that he was getting off at the knowledge of you watching him. For some reason, the idea turned you on even further. Unfortunately, you did not have much of a threshold to withstand any more, and the passing thought sent you spiralling into euphoria.

You came hard, the entire world seeming like it would disappear from sight, leaving only you and him in an endless cycle of chaos. But, his chaos was addicting, and you couldn’t think of a better way to spend eternity. Your chest ached for a breath of air as your legs locked around him, holding him close to you as he helped you through the high. It felt so good that your mind went awry, delirium settling deep in your bones as your skin was set ablaze with pleasure. In reality, it only lasted a few seconds, yet the intensity made it feel like a lifetime.

“There you go, sweet girl.” He hummed, his thumb loosening up on the pressure as your body began to relax against the table. The term of endearment sent you spiralling in a whole new dimension, this time not accredited to sexual gratification. Not only did he make you feel good physically, but continued along with emotional fulfillment to cement the memory in your brain forever. “Being so good for me, baby.” He said, clearly fighting the urge to let go himself. With a clouded mind and heavy eyes, you looked to his face, finding the sight the cherry on top of the best night of your entire life. “Did that feel good?”

“So good, Danny.” You whimpered, the intensity of the orgasm still lingering over your entire body. His eyes fluttered closed, his heartbeat rapid in his chest as he felt his own climax begin to take over. He continued with his pace for a few seconds, savouring every last bit of having you so close to him. When he knew he could not wait any longer, he pulled out in just enough time. Your grip on his arm remained steady as he spilled his release onto your stomach, his jaw tense as profanities lingered in the air.

The two of you remained in the same position for a while, heavy breathing and the memory of the night lingering in the air even long after it was over. Your hand remained on his arm, loosening into a soft touch as you clung to every bit of closeness the moment had to offer. His large hand still holding your thigh was comforting, and the warmth of his skin offset the chill of your apartment. Slowly, you reached up, cupping his face in your hand. You let your thumb drift over his cheek, gently caressing the skin and pulling his attention back to you. There was a smile lingering on his lips, his chest still rising and falling as he tried to catch up on his breathing. You smiled too, telling him everything that was on your mind without even needing to say a word.

Then, you spoke. One tiny little word that in reality, meant little to most people. To the two of you, it was everything.

“Stay.” The word was so quiet it barely reached his ears before it dissipated in the air, but he caught it. He would strain to listen for every word that left your lips, never willing to miss a single thing even if you thought it was unimportant.

“Was never going to leave, anyway.” He promised, turning his head ever so slightly to place a kiss to the pad of your thumb. The small action made your heart race, but his words did more for you. You couldn’t comprehend the idea of someone wanting to stay, but he wasn’t giving you any opportunity to disregard it. “We should get cleaned up, though. You’re freezing.” He noted, reaching up to grab your hand in his own. He closed his hand around your fingers, warming the cold skin immediately.

“Okay,” you nodded, but you didn’t really want to. If you could, you would have lived in the moment forever. “I should shower.” You said, glancing down at your stomach. He gave a light chuckle, his eyes apologetic as he nodded, too. Then, after a moment of shared silence, an idea struck him.

“Showering together saves water, you know.” He offered the idea, nervous to overstep.

“I do care a lot about the environment.” You grinned, hoping he knew he could never overstep with you.

“Let’s get to it, then.” He said, moving back from you just for long enough to help you off the table. You stood, careful not to make a mess, but quickly realizing you did not care. “Lead the way, Utah.” It was a phrase he’d coined that day, and would live to follow for the rest of his life. He never felt uncertain or worried as long as you were there to guide him. With a matching grin plastered on your cheeks, you grabbed his hand, taking off into a sprint down the short hallway to lead him to the bathroom.

For once, your sorrows seemed to be far away, and instead of screaming with loneliness and poverty, your old, run down apartment finally had a lingering sense of home.

You weren’t sure how long it would last, but you knew you would savour every minute of it until the fleeting moments finally disappeared. Or, until he disappeared. You tried to bargain with whichever would come first, but you knew that the two went hand in hand. The feeble relief of happiness was fully accredited to him, and you knew it would come and go along with him, too. Thought of the end pained you, even if it was only the beginning. It lingered over your head, a constant threat you felt the need to be weary of, because you knew that not only would you lose Danny, but also the feeling of finally being happy after an entire lifetime spent searching for it.

TAGLIST: @imleavingyoufornewyork @itsafullmoon @bladenotblaze @jessicafg03 @dont-go-home-without-me @peaceloveunitygvf @torniturntomyarrow @lostoverseer @clairesjointshurt @jordie-gvf @lallisonl @smoking-jakelane @gretavangirlie @hollyco @aintthatapity

[fucknugg3t]

there wouldn't happen to be any OC lore would there 👀

sigh

There is nothing on this man he is a stupid he doesn’t even have a name brother

….but I do have some stuff

he hates his hair very much and refuses to take care of it he’s close with Elliott so most of the time Elliott will take over and gently wash brush and care for it

He’s notoriously difficult to find we don’t really know if he actually even lives here..?

sometimes he’ll just show up from?? Somewhere?? And hand out gifts and leave no talking to nothing just that’s it

He gives the most gifts to Elliott the kids and sometimes Alex and Sam

always looks tired or annoyed but he’s actually pretty chill to the right people just spacey and somewhat off putting

imagine like every shitty mysterious asshole romance male love interest (he shuts down and it was “mysterious”, that man is not in love and emotionally distant he’s uncomfortable and making himself do this because he thinks it’s normal and what he’s supposed to do)

alright that’s it you sparked it it’s your fault aromantic rant time

a lot of times you’ll see girl romance main characters falling for literally some guy and following him around and staring etc and the guy is distant and visibly uncomfortable but it’s played as he’s ✨so mysterious✨ and god forbid he shows human empathy because then it’s ✨🥺I knew it he has a soft side only I can see🥺✨ ma’am leave this poor man alone it’s me I’m the poor guy this happens so often back in school

I think I remember a video parody of this actually https://www.instagram.com/reel/CXJbQartqNU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link literally this except the dark terrible secret is just homosexuality and aromanticism I haven’t accepted yet

anyway all of this is getting dumped into this oc dude sorry bro what can I say trauma is generational and you’re my creation

it’s going to be a whole thing about how Elliott is considered stereotypically sappy sweet romantic and then there’s the stereotypical mystery messy asshole romantic and it’s like the hot eye candy best friends trope and the punchline and social commentary is the dude is aroallo Elliott and him are sappy fwb and every interaction fucking rips anormativity from the seems because guess what the “male love interest” deserves to be comfortable to

[fnafgamer4373]

Hey, I like you! -tells you about all of my personal Melissa headcanons-

I love Melissa with all my heart, she's my favorite background character ever. However (to me personally, don't come at me with the black dagger), I don't count "Hey Melissa!" canon in my personal universe. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a murderous woman with a blazer, but I don't like the idea of Melissa being a murderer in EVERY universe 😭 breaks my heart. SO. HERE ARE ALL OF MY MELISSA HEADCANONS!

Name: Melissa Riley-Faith

Pronouns: She/Her

Gender: Cisgender female

Sexuality: Unlabeled

Mental illness: Depression

Family: Shitty mom she doesn't talk to named Alison, and her cat Cassie

Height: 5'6

Age: 31

- Melissa loves doing photography, mostly of nature

- She's been best friends with Charlotte for 15 long years, because I refuse to think they aren't close friends

- She has a lot of candles. I can just see it-

- Melissa doesn't drive, so she walks to work with Charlotte. Even when she's not going to work, she mostly walks everywhere. She loves going for walks

- Passive Aggressive Mel my beloved

- As a little nod to "Hey Melissa!", She makes a lot of dark jokes, just has a dark sense of humor

- She isn't exactly a light weight, but don't give her too much to drink either unless you wanna deal with either a very emotional Melissa or a very energetic Melissa

- She has two different colored eyes, mostly because when I first saw her I couldn't tell if her eyes were green or brown. SO SHE HAS BOTH (you can see it in my artwork actually)

- 100% listens to Lady Gaga, prove me wrong I dare you

(TW for the next few HCs, talking about depression, abuse, and self harm)

- Melissa has self harm scars from her past, and she isn't afraid to show them off

- Her father died when she was 14, and because of this she was mentally abused by her mother. She moved out when she was almost 20 years old, and hasn't really spoken with her mom since

- Melissa tends to go through depressive episodes, having times where she can't even get out of bed. Charlotte has known about this for a long time, and is always looking out for her

- She used to be friends with Sam, but after seeing how he treats Charlotte, she despises him

- Call me crazy for this, but I can see her and Mr. Davidson having a father daughter relationship. It's the same with Bill and Mel, but it's more commonly seen with Mr. Davidson

- She used to have a crush on Paul (much like in canon), but when she learned that he loved Emma, she eventually lost feelings, and now they're all friends

- Melissa, Emma, Charlotte, Piper (OC), Alexa (OC),Harper (OC), and Sawyer (OC) are all a girl group because it's funny to me and my bestie

- She doesn't have a strong opinion on coffee, but she normally has a lot of milk in it

- While she isn't BIG on musicals, one of her favorites is RENT

- Melissa is pretty expressive, like if you tell her the most out of pocket shit you can tell she's shocked

- She loves talking to her cat, Cassie, as if she were an actual person. She does this with all of Charlotte's cats too (Charlotte has cats. If you disagree, fight me [I'm kidding please don't.])

- She has a lot of videos saved on her phone, and most of them is just chaos happening around the office

- While we don't see her on screen long enough to see how she got infected in TGWDLM, I do have an idea: She was originally going to escape with Charlotte, Bill, and Ted, but she was found by Mr. Davidson before she could get away

- Shocked I haven't mentioned this one, but she has an upsidedown heart shaped birthmark on her thigh

- Melissa is 100% ambidextrous, and I refuse to think otherwise

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

The perfect Christmas gift (David x fem!oc)

Angst, mentions of torture, and it ends with fluff. There's some mentions of gore. If I missed any, please let me know and I'll add the warnings. That being said, happy holidays! Let's hope that next year, the world will be more peaceful than it is today.💜

-----------------------------------

Moving to Santa Carla should have been a new start. No more lies, no more betrayal or abuse - just the family back together again. Healing again. And yet, here he was, once again lying to his mum. Sneaking out, breaking rules, and even though he was terrified of the thing he was about to become - he couldn't deny the fact that he loved the freedom the night gave him.

Michael had never known such freedoms, never known what a live without rules could be like. And then those four boys showed up - or rather, Star did. Star introduced them to the boys, and it didn't take long before Michael realised they were everything he had aspired to be. Cool, cold. Tough. Feared. Free.

It didn't mean he had it easy, accepting that they were vampires and all - but he was slowly coming around to it. He had made the deal that tonight, three weeks after his attempt to break free from the immortal curse (a name that his brother Sam came up with), he would change. He would make his first kill.

"Ready to join the club?"

Michael didn't even flinch, not even surprised that David had just popped up behind him.

"I made a promise, didn't I?"

David grinned, and somewhere in the distance, he swore he could hear the other boys chuckle.

"You know what needs to be done."

Together, they walked to a small bonfire, with just a couple of teens present. Michael sighed, took a deep breath, and attacked. He didn't think he just acted. He grabbed a girl by her wrist, sinking his teeth into her skin. He drained her, taking her life only to feel more alive than he had ever done before.

It wasn't until she died in his arms that he realised that the boys were no longer there - he was alone. Except - he listened for a moment. Footsteps. Humans. He was ready to attack again, ready to fight - but before he could move or make a plan, a dart hit his neck. Within seconds, he lost consciousness.

_______________________

"Number 76, stay in line!"

The harsh voice echoed through the room. A young woman quickly stepped back in place, trying and failing to control her shivers. Before her, only three people remained. Three people. The rest had all failed their task, failed the test that was performed on them. They had all been burned.

That was the frightening reality that she was forced to live in now. Fucking scientists. One of them had figured out that she and others like her existed. Vampires. Most vampires assumed they were safe from most humans, that they were predators, and the humans prey. But, in the modern day and age - or, as modern as the eighties were - that was no longer the truth. Secret organisations popped up, all with the same goal: experiment on vampires to figure out how to eliminate disease.

She had lost friends. Family. She had shed tears for everyone she got to know in these halls, knowing that none of them would make it out. And most of all, she cried because she missed them. She missed the early mornings where she and Dwayne would talk, the times she joined Marko when he went out to get food, the times Paul and her smoked and danced till morning and she even missed the times when she had the biggest arguments with David. God, she missed him. She never realised she would miss him as much, always thinking of him as the ice-cold bastard. And yet, even though she knew exactly what kind of asshole he could be, she was absolutely madly in love with him.

And yet here she was, number 76, and within mere moments, she would be called forward for another round of torture. Would they put holy water in her veins again? Test different kinds of toxins on her? Expose her to sunlight?

______________________________________

Michael woke up tied to a metal table. He was in a white room, alone as far as he could tell. On the right was a metal door, on the left, a mirrored wall. Next to him was another table. It was still empty. Michael stopped his train of thought - if it was still empty, it would mean someone else would show up. Someone who could possibly tell him what was going on, what he was doing here. He was not as strong as he had been when he had just finished feeding, but he still felt powerful enough to attack someone.

The metal door opened with a slam, and a girl was forced in. She had an average height, seemed to be rather curvy and Michael was absolutely certain that she too was a vampire. "Number 76, you will cooperate. You know the punishment should you fail."

"Yes, sir." It was barely a whisper. Michael looked at her and realised she could have been no older than 23. She was just barely older than him. He looked as she was tied to the other table, looked as the man who had brought her in placed a gag in her mouth, and was horrified to see that they were grabbing several needles and knifes.

"What are you doing? Why are you doing this?!"

"Quiet, 77."

"Don't hurt her!" Michael saw the terrified look on the girls face and just couldn't stand it. No one should have to be so afraid.

"We are conducting a series of experiments for the betterment of humanity, whether you are a willing participant or not. However, the more you fight our cause, the more painful your stay with us will be. Stay quiet, and within the hour both of you can return to your cells."

"We're prisoners?!"

"No," grinned the man as he took one of the knifes and looked at the sharpness of the blade, "your experiments."

Michael swallowed hard when he heard the girl cry out. Blood was drained from her leg and collected. Garlic was pressed to the wound, causing it to turn an ugly shade of green. The girl didn't beg. She just cried as quietly as she could, curling up the second her ties were undone. Michael was becoming more and more scared the more time they spent on her, but when they turned to him, ready to start the horrifying process all over again, he couldn't help but beg them to stop, pleading with them to not hurt him, crying when they did. He had never been so scared in his life.

__________________________

"Mina has to be here," David said, following the black van. He had seen what the people driving had done to Michael, and he knew they would lead him to his mate. Part of him felt bad for the way he had tricked their newest member, but he hadn't known any other way to save her. He hadn't known where she was or how to begin the search for her without any solid leads. With Michael being freshly turned, David had hoped that he would be captured by the same people. He had hoped that they would lead him to Mina, and so far he had been right.

"There is no way we can enter this building through any other entrance, " Marko noted, realising there was only one way in or out. David nodded. "One guard is standing outside, assuming he has the right weapons we got to be careful."

"You think we need to call Max?" Asked Paul as he tried to come up with a non lethal plan. David shook his head.

"Alright. I'll try to distract the guard. You three just make sure to get Mina out of there. And Michael, if possible."

"Paul, be careful, alright? I won't be puzzling you together again."

Marko looked at him, causing Paul to grin. "Don't worry, there is no bathtub involved this time." With that, he was gone. Within minutes, he had distracted the guard. He had attacked an animal in the forest, causing the beast to scream and wail - and causing the guard to inspect it. When he had left his post, Dwayne, David and Marko hurried inside, ready to safe their family.

_____________________________

"Are you alright?"

Michael looked up, seeing the girl staring at him. She sounded tired, weak.

"I don't know."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I get that. I'm Mina, by the way."

"Michael."

She nodded quietly, closing her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Michael looked at her.

"No." She looked like she was about to cry. "They've become creative with their punishments, you know. First, it was ripping teeth out, but when they realised they would just regrow..." she shook her head, tears burning in her eyes. "Whatever you do, don't anger them. The experiments hurt. They are terrifying. But if you don't do what they say, it is so much worse."

"That - what they did to you was a punishment?"

Mina nodded.

"What did you do?"

"I looked them in the eye."

With that, she sat back, leaning against the wall. A pained expression crossed her face as she took several deep breaths before she became absolutely quiet.

_____________________________

There were corpses everywhere. Some caused by them, some caused by the humans. Body parts were thrown left and right. The four of them had looked in every room they found, but they had yet to find Mina. And Michael. They knew she was here, the smell - weak as it was - still lingered the hallways. Michael was here as well, and if they found him, they could also find her.

"Try to reach out for her, if she is here she should hear you," David told Dwayne, knowing he was not nearly calm enough to try to reach out for his mate, with the risk of her not responding. It took a moment before Dwayne turned to look at David. "I'm not getting anything."

David cursed, growling loudly. "No! She can't be bloody gone! She can't be..."

"Maybe she's unconscious?" Paul said quietly, knowing quite well that saying anything, whether it was bad or good, would cause David to explode.

"As if that's any better!? She was supposed to be save! She is fucking everything and they took her from me. I want them gone. I don't care how long it takes, I don't care if I die - they will regret taking her, even if it is the last thing that I do."

__________________________________

Michael leaned back against the wall, wondering if he could get out. Mina had fallen asleep - or has she fainted? Michael wasn't sure. There were no windows, which was a good thing he supposed, since they wouldn't risk burning in their sleep. At the same time, it sucked. A window would have mean a possibly escape, with help from the outside.

Would the boys even care to find him? Part of him thought they would. He was family now, right? Another part of him was certain they would die laughing - barely turned and already captured by glorified hunters. He sighed. Maybe, he thought, maybe he could try their mind link. He had heard Dwayne talk about it, and Marko had hinted at it. Maybe...

/Hello?/

It was quiet, he didn't hear anything.

/Mike, is that you?/

Michael grinned. That was definitely Marko's voice.

/Yeah. You got to help me, man. We're locked in some kind of basement?/

/We?/

/There's a girl here. She's - she needs to get help asap./

/What girl?/

Michael frowned, why did they need to know? Was the need for help not enough?

/She said her name is Mina./

It was quiet for a moment, before he got a response. Not from Marko this time, but from David.

/Is she alive?/

/Yeah./

Michael didn't hear anything anymore. The mindlike was quiet. It was only when he heard the sound of metal ripping apart and stones breaking that he realised why. They were here. Not for him, he realised, but for the girl. Mina knew them. Meant something for them, and - Michael was quick to notice this - he had been used to find her.

The loud noises continued, coming closer and closer, when suddenly his cell door was ripped of it's hinches. Paul grinned at him. "You alright?"

"Once we get out of here," Michael growled, his voice low, "I will fucking kill all of you. Fucking assholes."

"He's alright!" Marko walked past, ready to help David break down the door of the cell next to Michael's.

Mina was still unconscious, not even stirring when David picked her up. The only thing indicating that she was indeed still alive, was the very slight movement of her chest.

_________________________

A soft groan escaped her as she began to wake. Gone was the cold of her cell. Gone was the rough texture of the wall she slept against. Instead, she was cocooned in a soft blanked. A soft pillow supported her head. She was warm, almost comfortable. And above all, something made her feel safe. Slowly she moved, opening her eyes, afraid to find that it was all a cruel illusion. It was only when she fully opened her eyes that she realised where she was.

"David?"

Within seconds, he was next to her, a worried look on his face. Three days had he waited for her to wake up, afraid that with every single day that passed, that she might not. "I thought I lost you."

Mina was quiet for a moment before curling up against him. "I was so scared," she whispered, finally letting go of the fear she held for so long. David held her, not saying anything as he pulled her close. When she finally stopped crying, did he decide to speak.

"You're safe now. We killed everyone inside. They won't get you again."

Mina pulled away from him, shaking her head. "She was not there..."

"She?"

"The mayor."

"That bitch started this?"

Mina nodded.

"Love, I promise you, you have nothing to worry about."

____________________________

Three months later, Michael had decided to forgive the boys. Mina had proved to be a great friend, and when she learnt that he had guided the boys to where they had been held captive, she had hugged him so tightly he feared his ribs would break.

Both of them had healed, Michael had done so a bit quicker than Mina, but that didn't matter. The boys supported them when they could. When either of them awoke from nightmares, covered in sweat, all four of the boys would not let them sleep alone.

Things were good. Mina and David were happy together, and Michael was more than happy with Star. It had been a change when he decided to move away from the cave and to move in with his mom and Max, but it was one he was happy with. As much as he came to care for the boys, he didn't fancy walking in on either Paul and Marko or David and Mina ever again.

With the four boys and Mina still living in the cave, things had almost turned back to normal for them. It was only sometimes in the early morning, when it was just David and her still awake, that she would tell him how she really felt. She was still afraid, afraid that the mayor would find her, punish her, take her back - and David couldn't do anything at those moments, other than trying to comfort her.

It was those moments in the early morning that caused him to break their tradition. Normally, they didn't celebrate the holidays, having all decided it was a capitalistic event that only the rich would truly benefit from. But this time, he knew he had the perfect gift for his girl.

He grinned as he wrapped the box in paper, even going so far as putting a bow on top.

That Christmas morning he woke Mina with a soft kiss on her forehead. "I've got something for you," he smiled.

"You did?" Mina was smiling softly, still curled up under the blankets. "You didn't have to."

"You'll say differently once you see what I've got you."

Curious, she got out of bed, taking the box from him. It was heavy and pretty big. With an uncertain smile, she opened up the wrapping paper, took the top of the box away, and then she turned to look at David.

"You - you didn't?"

"I promised you something love."

She looked from the box to David, and back to the box. "I love you," she said, dropping her gift, and kissing him deeply.

As the box fell the ground, a severed head rolled out of it. A head that once belonged to the mayor.

"It's over now, no one will ever hurt you again."

"God, you even know how to make giving me a severed head romantic," Mina mumbled softly. David chuckled. "Merry Christmas, love."

[theleslistuff]

Day 3 of OC/Alternative versions

Andy- Tears and blood au

(Alternative universe of the fanfic: My brother is a ghost by DarkFoxKit)

In this dimension the ancients decide how the world should be shaped, what beings are worth their time, 4 are essential; Life, Death, Destiny and Time.

But one that is many will be always above them;

The observants

And they heard a mare mortal and for more humiliation... A mortal child was the champion to take away their power, so they did what was forbidden:

They cheated

They destroyed the original story to make the ancients cease and desist from their foolish plan of getting rid of them, Time had faith in his champion but as the years pass by, he knows they completely broke him, this version is just a hollow shell of what his champion should have been...

So Clockwork will no longer waste time with this version of Andy, he just looks at him sometimes because he feels pity, it's not like he can hurt anyone like this...

He doesn't know I can destroy them all!.

Description;

-The smallest twin by seconds away, the tallest twin, he's the smallest brother

-In this dimension both Andy and Danny have a mid name; Andrew Alexander Fenton and Daniel James Fenton

-Andy in this dimension has paranoid schizophrenia but has this symptoms: anhedonia, delirious ideas of persecution, auditive hallucinations, isolation, delirious ideas of damage.

-Tendency to overreact, hates to be dismissed because of his condition

-Negates he has this condition and tries to be functional but without a proper help other than his father giving him the medicine, he struggles to socialize and focus

-For practical/illustrative effects auditive hallucinations/episodes of delirious ideas will be represented by this creature;

-in the meantime it will mean something else

Relationships;

Danny: The most significant one in his life, he's his anchor, he's his best friend and confident, he feels comfort, he feels save... Or so it was until his parents told them about his sickness, since then he feels Danny treated him differently... More than love, it feels like he has pity for him and treats him like a dumb child, this escalated so much that when Danny began to drift away because of his ghost powers... He no longer feels sorrow..., he feels... Anger and wants to prove himself he should still be important to Danny..., that he is not a burden and can still be trusted, because he feels... Despite his denial... The sickness is getting worse and he believes Danny when he tells him he is hallucinating Phantom.

Sam: A former A Lister that turned into his brother's friend because "he's cute", he knows this version of Sam is still an A Lister and is on both sides, also that she finds entertaining his brother's ways to impress her, she admitted her true nature to Andy, no one believes him on this...

Tucker: You don't mess with me, I don't mess with you relationship, but he's kinda jealous Danny likes to hang out more with him than Andy since both knew about the sickness.

Jazz: He used to admire her and look up on her, but since he broke her favorite plush in an incident, he knows she hates him for this, he wants to mend that toy, but that plush provoked his phobia to plushies.

Jack: He avoids him like the plague, Andy feels he's scared of him (or who he reminds him of).

Maddie: He liked to hang out with Danny and her but since his diagnosis in the incident... He feels more than her pet rather than her son, she's the one that dismisses everything he says the most..., sometimes feeling like he talks to a wall when he talks to her...

Wes: Getting to know each other, he doesn't understand why an A Lister wants to hang out with him he doesn't mind since Wes is quickly becoming a friend since they support each other's ideas, it feels almost like he doesn't look at him as a sickness but more than a real person.

Other people: doesn't know, doesn't care

The incident

Jack, Maddie, Danny and Jazz had to leave the house for a couple of hours to get Danny for a dentist appointment and Jazz to finish a homework in the library, Andy could not leave the house because he had a flu.

In the time he was alone a strange intruder invaded their home... It was his uncle Liam.

The toddler has never seen or heard anything about this man, naturally he was scared when he saw the man approach him with a butcher's knife in his hand.

He rushed to hide away in his bedroom but the man could not be stopped as he grabbed the boy by his neck and was about to stab him as he repeatedly called him hurtful things.

"Monster", " Beast", "I will not let you harm my family", " Let the blood of other's damn you sadistic king"

Andy could not comprehend what was even happening and something inside his little brain tried to scape by looking away and accepting his fate... His sight just registered one thing...

Jazz's favorite toy Bearbert Einstein...

He didn't registered when his father came to save him or his mother reassuring him.

His mind distorted the memory into a killer teddy bear with a chainsaw trying to kill him, he cried and screamed as his mind failed to register what happened and made him go straight to thorn that toy with his bare hands, a childish way to claim a victory over his aggressor...

Jazz was broken, a 10 year old girl watching her most precious possession thorn into pieces in front of her by her little brother presenting an almost animal-like behavior..., and when their parents explained what happened as Andy could not snap out of his shock and uncle Liam was being taken away snarling and struggling to get free and finish what he came for like a savage beast, Jazz doesn't want to have anything to do with psychology... Never again.

Jack didn't want to take Andy to a doctor, his brother Liam never recovered with a proper treatment..., so, why would Andy be any different?...

They just medicated him with his uncle's medicine as they try to accept their son will be gone soon.