#was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives
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philosophicalparadox · 1 day ago
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Exactly. I just had this conversation with my future mil. Don’t wait until you’re so upset about The Thing that you freakin explode to tell me it bothers you. Because at that point it is ENTIRELY your own fault for hurting your own feelings. And I will not be sympathetic or empathetic in the least. Tell me it bothers you and what you’d like for me to do for it to not bother you, when you notice it bothering you, and we will get on just fine.
Waiting until you’re so frustrated because I literally can not read thy mind and can not see the cues (which are usually inconsistent little “hints”) to blow up about it is not constructive, is stressful, and wastes literally everybody��s time. So yeah, I am going to be mad at that. Not mad about the grievances, just the way they are presented. And I’m also not going to act like I’m sorry about it, because the onus was on thee to communicate discomfort directly and ye did not. My disability is not fixable. I can not magic myself, no matter how well I mask, into being able to see things that are invisible to me because my brain won’t let me see them.
I get into it with her over my ADHD too. I can’t fix that. It’s part of how my brain works and unfortunately I do not respond well to the medication. (It makes me very jittery and affects my better judgment so much I’m a danger to myself). So I’m stuck like this. I will never “grow up” and be able to consistently remember something I’ve walked away from. I will never “be an adult” and have the executive functioning to even take care of myself. I’m doomed. Trapped. Stuck like this forever.
I’ve learned to give myself grace since being diagnosed, I’m perfectly willing to adapt to make other people more comfortable, within reason, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what makes them comfortable!!! But lord, ask any neurotypical what you should do and it’s a war because they have no clue, or “you’re an adult, you should just ✨magically ✨know these things”.
I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that
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cuteandhughesy · 2 days ago
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i’d LOVE to see you write “just sit down and let me pamper you” with joseph woll
prompt no.14: “just sit down and let me pamper you”
you’ve always loved being, for lack of a better term, a girl. fresh blow outs and velcro rollers. summer fridays lipgloss and planning outfits days in advance. choosing nail designs, watching rom coms, anx everything showers. also called pampering yourself.
and that’s not to say if you do those things you’re automatically girl, as well as if you don’t do those things, doesn’t mean you’re not a girl. but there’s just something that feels so relaxing and feminine about doing your skin care routine that you’re not sure what else to call it.
before joseph met you, he didn’t have a skin care routine. hell, most men don’t. he’d scrub his face with either shampoo or body wash in the shower and call it a day. so a few months into dating, just at the point where sleepovers became common, he found you in your bathroom before bed, sleeves rolled up and little towel bracelets around your dainty wrists.
your face was slathered in pre-cleanse, giving you that oily, wet look as you quirked a brow through the mirror in joseph’s direction. “you okay?”
he’s leanings against the doorframe, looking at you so curiously. his eyes move over your skin, the way your makeup is melting off, and then down to your bathroom counter. there’s so much skincare.
obviously he’s been in your bathroom before, but he’s never really looked at what you keep on your shelves and in your drawers. it’s rather intriguing—the lineup of products that you’ve set out in order of usage. joseph meets your gaze through the mirror, “what does that do? like the stuff on your face.”
“it’s called a pre-cleanse,” you say, wetting your hands and beginning to massage the cleanser into your skin. “it’s the first cleanser. to get off my makeup before the gel cleanser.”
“there’s multiple cleansers?”
you hum before leaning over the sink, cupping your hands under the tap and then splashing it over your face. you repeat that a few times.
curiosity gets the best of him and joseph walks further into your cluttered bathroom, moving right up beside you. he picks up one of the products. seaweed mask?
you rise back to your full height and jump in surprise when you spot your boyfriend, much closer than when you last saw him. he doesn’t even noticed you though, too busy switching out the mask in his hand for a milk toner, which he inspects in detail. “you use all of this? at once?”
“not at once,” you tell him, gently slapping his hand as he tries to grab your gel cleanser. you squirt some into your palm, and then put the bottle back down. joseph immediately grabs it, pops it open and sniffs. you giggle, emulsifying the product in your hands, “I just use the basic stuff everyday, and then if there’s something I need to focus on, i’ll incorporate certain products.”
“focus on?” he trails off, waiting for you to elaborate.
“like,” you start, washing your face, “if i’m breaking out. or if my skin is really dehydrated i’ll use more hydrating products.”
“oh,” he chimes, picking up one of the hydrating masks you must be referring to.
you wash the cleanser off your face before continuing. “that mask would be really good for you joe, with the ice and sweat and all that stuff.”
then it’s like you just found some kind of great discovery, eyes wild and bright as you spin half way around to look at your boyfriend. your hands, still wet, clap together, and you’re practically jumping on your feet. “oh my god, can I put it on you?”
you look so cute and so enamoured by the idea of putting a light blue face mask on him, all clean, rosy skin and a froggy headband pulling your hair back, that joe almost doesn’t want to say no. he sighs, tired from afternoon practice and not much sleep the night before. “I don’t think so, baby, but thanks.”
he pats your butt affectionately before making a move to leave your cluttered bathroom. but you’re not having that. you grab his arms, pulling him back towards you. “please,” you pout, “it’ll feel so good and your skin will thank you.”
he laughs, kissing your pout. “my skin is fine.”
you quirk a brow, “says who?”
his mouth opens, and he scoffs in amusement. “did you just diss on me?”
“just...sit down and let me pamper you” you grumble.
joseph sighs, and by the look he gives you, you already know your answer. and the answer is yes. you gleam, guiding him over to your closed role it seat and plopping him down.
“okay,” you start cheerfully, “do you want a cat headband, or a cow headband?”
“cat obviously.”
(not edited)
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toniko · 2 days ago
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brief words about impersonalization and Kim Soleum (spoilers up to 161
Kim Soleum rides such a hypocritical line between believing this is all a fictional world and the realness of this world. I really don’t blame him actually, the combination of toxic work culture and the base setting of him being transported into the world is like really numbing.
I mean the field exploration team uses masks that depict them as animals and as good of an item it is for exploration, that is one of the elements that dehumanizes them. It’s one thing for the groups to be split into the alphabet but it’s a whole different thing when you identify every employee by their group. You literally can not differentiate the employees in the logs (I mean look at that interview with Baek Saheon, this may be a bit of a bad example because I can see why anonymity would be kept here. Ah but it seems to be like that with every document? Mystery person here, mystery group here, finishing team). It’s awfully impersonal and while an interpretation of it just being useful code names is valid, in a profession with a high death rate, I doubt that’s the only reason. Oh yeah, highly expendable employees. But we can’t say we’re killing people, dare say individuals with their own entire lives and histories, so company employees sound a lot better. Everyone perpetuates it, it’s easy, team members die quickly and often, deal with it. Except not really right? Being human is to inherently care for your fellow human.
But hiring employees with looser personalities does help in that aspect. Capitalism win for the Daydream co. I guess. I have a small comment about how the Supernatural Management Bureau (now what is it called in the fan-translation? I’ll replace it someone let me know, I’m picking off namu wiki rn). It does purposely hire righteous but orderly folks but it seems both Agent Bronze & Choi are affected by past member deaths.
It feels like Kim Soleum keeps trying to draw a line and it doesn’t work. He says that he will have left before [big catastrophic event] but unconsciously forms attachments super quickly. I think his time away from the griptok and wiki is really making him accept the reality of these characters. Agent Choi’s survival gives Soleum a little brain blast acceptance that character’s fates really can change. Of course, didn’t it take a shockingly long time for that? I think it’s implication that he was still using the same excuse of them all being from a fictional world to shield his mentality. Gotta do what you gotta do Soleum.
He does all in his power to keep as many people alive (because he’s an empath 🙂‍↕️, we know) but the hangman game was obviously super personal.
btw I think Soleum has a bias in how he treats “named” characters as well. This is just my personal opinion, but the relationship with Lee Jaheon felt purposely professional up until recently (say 130s or so I think, I’m just rambling out), since Soleum inner monologue tended to emphasize the elements he remembered. The reader would notice that Lee Jaheon really does care a lot but you might have to dig through a couple of lizard and defeating darkness through force comments. It feels this stereotype he has of the named characters stick a lot longer! It makes sense, in the kind of format the original records were in, they were in fact character stereotypes to fill the semi-anthology esque story structure (would it be appropriate just to say SCP foundation?). Again, this divorce from the griptok is what I think a big contributor of his reality check is.
There’s also this uh, Baek Saheon in the room that I haven’t talked about. Probably the meanest thing Soleum does in this novel is bullying this guy lol. But that’s because Kim Soleum’s interpretation of him is so overblown and far in time compared to the current guy we know. At this point, I’d pin down Baek Saheon as a character that would maybe let someone die but wouldn’t kill them himself (yet). But that’s it, Kim Soleum having read so far into his story, operates with the assumption that he’s a comically evil bad guy. But this guy, all he does with his hypnosis pen is hide away like a mouse? Sorry for being a much more horrible person, I would’ve tried stealing his items but he was doing something so pointless even Braun didn’t think to let Soleum know (now is that a whole nother thing? Braun being more suspicious leading up to his darkness arc? Yeah.)
Braun being an all powerful ghost story entity btw without Kim Soleum having to mask his identity almost completely was like the total kryptonite of Soleum’s “I care too much about everyone’s lives but I can’t do that because they are all fictional but also alive”. Soleum isn’t against making relationships but he often calls Braun his only friend. Isn’t that a bit out of touch Soleum, I think there’s a couple of people who would find a friend in you.
J3, for example, who was looking for him after he went missing! Actually, color me a conspiracist but I think it’s much less a self esteem issue but a reaction of realizing the people he’s (trying to) push away actually like and care about him. I mean he’s trying to get out of this fictional world. He doesn’t want the people of this world to care about him, so he’s shocked at the revelation that they do. So I don’t think it’s out of a dislike of himself but in many ways, he’s forced to act unlike himself because of this world. Well anyway that’s just my opinion anyway…
some final personal (personal) thoughts down here…
Kim Soleum’s monologue drives me nuts. I know! That’s the whole novel! But it’s something like Baek Deoksu’s style, where I sit there and shake my head going “Young man, I know you’re playing tricks with me”. I mean seriously, it’s not a bad thing. Just don’t make me work hard every chapter hooo, I’m a lazy kind of guy yk read for fun and leisure. ghost story ooo so scary…
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ratsplendor · 2 days ago
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so this post was on my dash last night and i woke up still thinking about it. bc i really do feel like we get a lot of internalized homophobia!Wilson, due to the very comphet of it all, but i think there's some really interesting angles you can play with from this perspective, too. & of course end up with some major angst lol.
so. i kind of ended up going on a long ass ramble here. i've stuck it under a readmore for those who're just scrolling. thanks for putting up with me lol
the main thing i'm thinking about is like...the huge, Stacy-left-me-shaped chip on his shoulder. because how many straight guys do you know who have made their breakup this massive personality trait/let it take the blame for their behavior for years afterwards? i know so many! "wife left me, i joined the NRA" type shit.
in this situation you're describing, i think the breakup is a huge part of how this plays out. because: 1. any feelings he has for men after that are just because she fucked him up so bad. and 2. yes, he's upset she left, why wouldn't he be? he certainly wasn't relieved, secretly, that she pulled the trigger, that she gave him an excuse to push her away. he certainly wasn't tired of pretending, especially given his new condition, which makes it harder to mask. that would be crazy.
so he latches on to this post-breakup, miss-her-but-resent-her pattern of behavior because it's an easy cover for whatever else he's feeling, on two separate fronts. and then she comes back. he finds out Wilson is trying to keep them apart and for a split second, he hopes it's because Wilson's jealous, and he hates that he feels that so much that he throws himself back into manic Stacy-mode again, to the point of being party to her marriage nearly breaking up. a guy who breaks up his ex's marriage is definitely straight! right??
i think a lot of the time we get House being portrayed as the one who's settled with himself because he has this air of hedonism about him, and he enjoys being the contrarian/making people uncomfortable, and doesn't appear to care what other people think. but of course, we see that's especially untrue where his father is concerned. in a world where nothing was off limits to House, we'd expect to see him weaponizing the abuse as part of the way he makes people uncomfortable, right? instead, he's so quiet about it that even Wilson doesn't know well enough to not make him go to the funeral. it's a product of a time when certain things belonged behind closed doors. so there are some things that are off limits to House. joking about being gay is one thing, it gets a rise out of people, but he doesn't allow himself the real thing because 1. he's not gay and 2. it's so bound up in the complexity of the first few decades of his life. which he doesn't talk about, not even to make people squirm. most young people start to contend with their sexuality while still living at home...on base housing, where it felt like there were eyes everywhere, and with a father like John House. then, like you said, came the AIDS crisis, and how many tirades do you think John probably went off on? with his son, the doctor, on the phone with him? the voice that told him how to be a man is asking if he's really gonna treat those fags or not. what do you do?
i'll end this by saying, as a kid who grew up with base brats of several types, i've always found it really interesting + sorely underexplored that House is referred to so often just by surname. i know it's a thing among medical folk, too, but undoubtedly, when his father's buddies came around, they were calling him House. hell, i knew kids whose mothers called their fathers by surname. i've always found this interesting because if House didn't choose it, if it's something that just happened organically during med school, did it hurt at first? and if he did choose it, in this case, would it be because it felt like being a man? his father, the model he had for "real" masculinity growing up--would taking up his name in his early adulthood feel like a shortcut to a male ideal that he was so desperately struggling to align with?
thinking about internalised homophobia House. I normally headcanon him as openly bi (but maybe repressed or in denial about being in love with Wilson), but I like the idea of his suggestive gay comments being a cover because he's so far in denial and gay jokes are a way of being like "haha isn't it so ridiculous and subversive to suggest I'm gay? I'm doing this for the shock value because I'm obviously straight", in the same way straight guys think gay jokes are the funniest thing in the world
his homophobic military dad and becoming independent and coming of age in the 1980s and only hearing about gay people during the AIDS crisis left him with some fucked up ideas and attitudes about gay people (and himself. and what it means to be a man)
if Wilson ever tries to confess feelings for House (or if they fall into each other on a drunken night), House would absolutely withdraw, run away, push Wilson away because House isn't gay
House then dating a woman to prove to Wilson (and everyone. and himself) that he's normal and straight
eventually, if he and Wilson start seeing each other, House would rationalise it as "technically homosexual, but not like those other gays". maybe he'd also withdraw in public where anyone could see them, and try to suppress the emotional side of things ("this is just physical, don't be a fag about it")
meanwhile, Wilson is desperately trying to be okay with the scraps of affection he gets from House, but it's killing him. he's not doing well. after pining over House for so long (knowingly? unknowingly? you decide), he didn't think it would feel like this. but maybe this is the best he deserves
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designernishiki · 2 years ago
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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mr-aftons-rotting-pussy · 4 days ago
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TRAGIC: beautiful william afton post suddenly unrebloggable after mentioning minor thing that doesnt fit canon characterization
#whenever someone mentions grief on a wafton post it triggers smth horrible in me and i get rlly scared shaking and crying and whimpering..😨#i just never know what people mean by this. when was he sad#point to a place in time in canon where he was explicitly grieving that isnt smth you made up. i will wait#BUT ANYWAUS. its always smth so small and minor like noooo no.o....... now i cant reblog bc it BUGS me it bugs me so bad like sorry im evil#the rest of this was so beautiful and true until you said that............ 😢 . lol#this isnt even to say that he cant its just like......... when you imply that grief is a big part of HIS CHARACTER specifically its. a teen#bit silly because..... where. where. besides yall making stuff up abt fnaf4 like im just wonderingggg okay be honest............#like his thing is that he doesnt give a shit abt killing people yo he doesnt care that that kid died he cares abt his gay restaurant and oc#im gonna cry im gonna sob#anyways#fnaf 3 minigame where ge was scared abt the child ghosts like...... that wasnt him feeling remorseful about it.............#that was him being afraid of The Consequences of his own selfish actions...... guy who creates costumes and characters and masks and facade#so he doesnt have to face the whole world as he knows he is. so he can continue to indulge. it wasnt REALLY ME YOU GUYS haha...... not your#beloved friendly neighbor William Afton ☺️ hes so kind and nice and polite and he loves absolutely *adores* kids. he could never really hur#anyone. not him. not Afton.#coughs**** or something whatever erm *tugs collar* is it hot in here or is it just me haha heehee hoohoo 😁 hehr **falls down flight ofatai#he wants his child flesh and eat it too 🙄#lmao
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bxriles · 5 months ago
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Lmao okay wait. I got asked that question about Feyre/Bryce/Aelin and I went down a lil rabbit hole and somehow ended up on a subreddit of people arguing over who would win in a fight if it were Feyre vs. Aelin.
And I am CACKLING right now because it seems like the bulk of people on that thread think Aelin would win, and the people who think Feyre would win are SO. UPSET. Like they are BIG MAD that anyone would think Aelin would win hahahahahaha
I'm cackling. I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard omfg. People really do 100% project themselves onto Feyre. They really think they ARE Feyre!!!!! I'm crying. Send help I can't breathe 😂😂
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trainingthots · 5 hours ago
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This cannot be to me Delicacy Love,
I do not think if you as anything of the sort, and if anyone is the Narcissistic Ass it is me. I love every single one of your flaws, especially your tendency to project your insecurity onto others. I do the same things only much worse. I am not using anything against you, i do not fight against you. Its one if the problems in our relationship, that i never could tell you no and that your self loathing meant my love for you made me the least desirable person in the god damn world to you. This man, so easy to degrade and humiliate, to use and despise their girl, got spun around and lost when i met you and fell in love. All of a sudden out of my element i only wanted to love, care and respect you, but had no idea how to do that because of the toxic awful person i was. When i felt like j was never going to get to love you and have you completely, i frustrated and angry at myself for being so ineffectual at the one thing i wanted did what i always do, fuck it all up and pretend that i only failed because it wasnt worth doing. How wrong i was. How wrong i still am if i make you feel this way. But the facts dont line up. I have not been critical of you, i am dealing with pain and loss, but it is helping me realize my awful mistakes and filling me with regret and the urge to do better and right by you. This is once again orobably not for me but for the man you actually love. I am so tired of gim being the one who breaks your heart. I am not the jealous type, but i am amgry that while i am hurt from finding out about all my pain and losing you, i feel so much empathy for you being jn pain from losing him. I am a total pathetic mess. I am sorry for your loss, and i hope to be there for you while you grieve.
You are not unlovable, and the abandonment thing is something i have always accepted and ignored. You have abandoned me so many times its ludicrous. I am not belittling you. I am trying to understand your growth and change while ignoring my own pain. Once again i am not doing the best job, but i am trying.
Nothing I do or post js against you. If someone is doing that it is not me. There is a lot of stuff done in my name that is not me these days. Close your eyes, open your heart and know i would never intentionally hurt you. It is all love from me. I will not criticize you, i will not shame you, i will not even tell people what is going on with me because it risks people thinking poorly on you, and i will not have it.
Forever Your Cheerleader,
The Marquis De Sad
Unlovable
To you,
I'm a narcissist and you know it's true. I've projected all my insecurities just to protect this fragile ego. Now that you've exposed me, I can admit the truth about my low self-esteem and self-worth. I'm temperamental and throw tantrums like a child. I'm narrow-minded and get defensive in arguments. I hide the truth about my life because I genuinely hate myself and all my flaws. It's who I am. 
Thank you for showing me how little respect you have for me. I now understand your intentions of making me feel the pain and dishonesty I have inflicted onto you. There's no need for defending myself at this point if you feel encouraged to make me feel like the most ruthless immature person that has existed. I'm glad you feel a sense of fulfillment in your quest to making me aware of the hateful person I am. 
It's true that I'm unlovable. Everything I attach myself to doesn't truly belong to me. I chose to abandon both myself and others, so please continue writing about how much you despise me. Use everything against my will to prove to me that I was a mistake in your life. I deserve to be agonized and shamed for trying to love you.
You said it yourself that I look like shit, so please let me continue to deteriorate alone. I am unworthy of love and believe I will continue to be just an option. To tell you the truth, you were the first person I felt comfortable being around without a mask. I could be my most authentic autistic self with you, without fear that you'd abandon me for my weirdness. When I felt unsafe, you were always the first person I’d turn to because I gave you the key to my tender heart. I guess it never meant anything anyways.
The narcissist in me is frustrated that I can't control your desire to use my pictures, trauma, and love against me. If you wish to continue belittling me just to prove how terrible a human I am, you've already done an amazing job. And still, I can never hate you because I already hate my life, and you don't deserve that. I'm sorry for being unlovable. 
Me
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February the last, 1966 Anne Sexton, from Complete Poems
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gurorori · 1 year ago
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haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
#'ohh i saw white people still go out to rally for ukraine' yeah have you considered they are ukrainian or have ukrainian loved ones or uh#simply have humanity in their heart to care about several humanitarian tragedies in the world?#this is both aimed at a post i saw on here and at SEVERAL. MANY. twitterians with a thousand palestine flags all over their accounts spewing#misinformation hate and sometimes straight up russian propaganda tactics because they're this fucking insane#i don't care about sounding nice anymore by the way. i know my heart lies in the right place and i have the capacity to care about more than#one ongoing genocide of indigenous peoples#removed incidents of bad actors having a ukrainian flag on their backpack doing hateful shit does not somehow okay dismissing a genocide you#so vehemently claim to oppose. they are not ukrainians who are getting bombed on the daily for years#i saw a very lovely 🍉🕊️ lady denying holodomor and using literal russian talking points while patting herself on the back for being such#a good person. i saw one of the most popular leftie accs on twitter be actively anti-ukraine and using slurs. luckily we mass reported them#and they're gone#i'm no longer being careful with my words because i don't want to be misconstrued. i know my values go beyond twitter and tumblr#if i catch you in any way undermining the genocide of ukrainians or only bringing it up to point fingers and bitch i am blocking you forever#don't care how far this post might go cuz of ppls questionable use of the search function. and i didn't care to censor anything#like. masks off. just block me if this is your rhetoric
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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A very interesting cloud formation!
#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0#Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol#I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share#(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic)#I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out#spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions#that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is#in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these#vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a#big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor#or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr...#Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me#was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives#a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f#ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone#around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in#terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again#I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if#so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term#issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm#already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I#hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows#like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo#even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA#Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED#to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire#time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain#myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance#I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an#people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T
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dangoulains-devotion · 6 months ago
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago
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a decade later sure i'll put it into Text Post "tumblr user claims: plausibly may feasibly" form, starting with these classic screenshots i still have saved
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this being dialogue from 2015's always watching: a marble hornets story, which is like hey this is a pretty well produced indie venture & you can sure like sit through it even if you then never watch it again b/c it's still kind of overly on the beaten path & "i'm not sure this choice is justified in much of anything" (see: bizarrely omnipresent thread of a love triangle just to be There; typical Mental Patient(tm) Harbinger; several real marked More Is Less instances arguably) that is still a better time than other random horror material i've seen & hated vs. only mostly been underwhelmed by but in an Overall Shrug way alone. yeah imdb's 4.7 out of 10 seems fair enough if you consider like 5 stars truly middle of the road solid if forgettable vs that anything < 7 stars is for [Bad!] or whatever
anyways the main character is named milo & indeed the creator(s) / actors / writers troy joseph & tim were involved in the production at all: tim at least by being the first step in doug jones's casting by reaching out directly (online), but troy & joseph also via Some writing, like in that slender game sequel also: not the Primary creators / writers, but still officially involved in the creative process at all. & i knew of them & they knew of me by this time & in a [source: dude just trust me] style of way, i, a tumblr user, am like "i think milo alwayswatching Could be named after me, milo unproduciblesmackdown. lol." b/c also like yeah i can take it on the chin if it's a coincidence, which is also likely. great name & it's just not being used enough in fictional & nonfictional people's names. you might also be aware that some role in tribetweIve is named milo (maybe the main guy. i never watched it) so you might also speculate it's named after that guy, which seems plausible also, But: afaik there are no other similar plausible shoutouts at all, to that series or to emh which was just as majorly like One Of Those 3 Biggest Online Series. may or may not add a grain of salt to take it with. like my own "of course, there's a grain of salt in 'milo just like me milo, and Uncoincidentally?' b/c how wouldn't there be. a name people have"
the dude just trust me argument: distilling it down to "i went to their first convention & then the same one the next year, & in these experiences i Know they knew of me from that + also online, where people knew my name was milo as well" and "it seems feasible enough it's an easter egg Not Coincidence that i first knew this character's name happened to also be milo b/c someone who experienced a clip sent me an ask about it, so they assumed it was a possible actual connection too lol." and, of course, it might be a fun coincidence after all. but i'm still like "yeah no it Could be a funny little shoutout to me specifically for real" and mean it and, again, i can endure it if i'm completely wrong. b/c who could care, and also b/c it's so funny that the character is a guy who basically just is like "i am going to have a bad attitude. b/c of the insistent tiresome love triangle thing. well now I'm insistently tiresome" and fucking everything up but like, sure. exasperating epic fail protagonists
the only relevance i think it has besides "to me, b/c i can go haha yeah. that might be like: just like me!!" is that it's Also plausible b/c yeah marble hornets Is the kind of series that might go "this could be an easter egg about some queer autistic tumblr user we know about" lmao, its Inherent Queerness both re: the material and in the creators' knowledge like yep that's how our Appreciators skew! like it's low stakes to be like [lol, Me. perhaps] b/c it's obviously of zero importance like it adds no info, i'm just some rando queer fan from back in the day, but it's this potential Fun Fact that's funny to know & it's about "yeah like they knew i was trans back then too & that it was like, amidst the MH Fans, like nobody's cishet man (shaggy rogers voice)" Gay Rights!
#marble hornets#It's Possible And Someone Should Say It#and like fr i'm saying it with a swagful humility b/c yeah ofc it feels like an overreach to be like ME Milo???? but it could be fr#and ofc it's just a funny little detail If So so it's also really not that much of a reach b/c nobody else could care one way or another#the only possible Reactions beyond ''main character named milo? this has zero extra meaning for me''#is Me; Specifically going [gasp!] (which i did anyways b/c Pointing! & b/c yeah thee whole time it's like It Could Be Just Like Me Fr)#and tribetwelveheads going ''like as in tribetweIve?'' which like still maybe but gotta keep it real with you chief: Less Likely#it's funny if i'm right And it's funny if i'm wrong so like yeah ofc i'll Just Say It. i can endure in good humour if Knowing no it's not#and like i could just ask. but in my prior chitchatting with [Yeah We Know Of Each Other] quadruple A status#(amicable and/or allied acquaintance) like it just hasn't ever been much or really At All abt marble hornets or anything else ''official''#yeah i Could barge into tim's dms like HEY do you MAYBE KNOW this trivia?? about MEEE??? but like. i'm not gonna lmao#i'm gonna be like: post more new kittycat pics worstie!!!! if anything.#or be like ''you're So right. recommend skinamarink to all past present future marble hornets fans'' hell yeah king#(as someone who Hypothetically enjoys horror; thus in actual practice virtually always hates horror. That Fr! sm good fckg food)#anyways like it can't possibly matter. sure just as plausibly a ''haha no it Is coincidental'' situation like & so i can endure that though#it's most plausible thanks to the [i did manage to make it to their first convention! a lot of fun. & i bought their mask]#like this fact was 99% irrelevant to Anyone Else; e.g. anyone online then or now#but it did boost making me a specific person the main creative / production trio guys Knew Of lol. being a queer autistic fan can do that#i also never use these screenshots lol but i did save them & still like just now stumble across them like oh yeah that guy! that Mystery!#we can keep it up for that mystique & ambiguity. & b/c again i have no cause to barge in at an A.A.A.A. like Answer My Trivia Boy!!#this would Also be funny but for the sake of any actual 4A rapport i will not be attempting it for Detached Jests#(conveniently this prevents me from bravely enduring taking it on the chin anyways! hence casually posting a Fun Fact. we'll never know)#also remembering i don't even have my name being milo on my blog header. But It Is
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seilon · 1 year ago
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you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals
#most recent occurance is eating my brain alive right now because I feel just so. degraded and offended by how she chose to evaluate me#I won’t get into it because it will make me spiral even more and get angrier and more overwhelmed but tldr she didn’t acknowledge#anything I said about my symptoms both out loud and via written test. chose to ignore or dismiss anything that came from me#as if I couldn’t be trusted to recount my own experiences and feelings. also did not take into account that I am an adult and thus have Had#to learn to mask and shit so while she brushed off So Much Shit because i seemed (in the three hours she met/saw me)#functional Enough. that’s only becuaee I put in a Lot of effort every day to do so. and that effort does not last forever#and of course because. like I said I’m an adult. I’ve been yelled at I’ve been punished I’ve been put through courses and#through the ringer of Society in general to the point where I mimic Normal Person Behavior at least somewhat decently when im prepared to do#so. she treated me like a child and didn’t acknowledge most of my major issues. ignored me when I said I don’t avoid social situations out#of fear/anxiety I avoid them because it takes a lot of energy for me to mask and try and read people and act accordingly#and in her report suggested generalized anxiety. part of the reason I was there is because anxiety HASNT ever properly described my#avoidant behavior.#and just. yeah I said I wouldn’t get into it but here we are. this always happens#it’s just eating at me because I keep realizing more and more things she just fucking disregarded. literally wrote that I ‘listed many#relevant symptoms’ and kept it at that. did not actually give those symptoms any validity. basically just implied I was listing things#just. becuase?#some shit was just blatantly wrong like claiming that I have a variety of interests when I told her outright that I can only be interested#in one specific interest at a time- example being the entirety of last year being only interested in One (1) video game. and this is to such#an extent that it’s difficult to make and maintain friendships because I have no interest in anything else but that One Thing for however#long and won’t care about other things people try to get me into in order to have something in common with me or whatever or just. yeah.#issues.#she didn’t acknowledge the issues I have with low empathy or overstimulation. didn’t acknowledge my history of taking things literally to#such an extent that it has caused problems with people. didn’t acknowledge anything that was self-reported and not being displayed in that#moment right in front of her eyes. it’s just. really really disappointing and. yeah degrading honestly#especially because it took months upon MONTHS to get this fucking appointment#and to just be not listened to and dismissed.#anyway. yeah I’ve also just only ever had really shallow relationships with therapists (at best)#and have never felt helped by them or like they ever put in much effort to try to Get to me so to speak. only my psychiatrists have#been open minded and Listened to me. but they were always residents so they’d leave in a year or so. I don’t have one at this point.#kibumblabs
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oflgtfol · 2 years ago
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some old ass woman customer im ringing up: its ridiculous that they make you still wear a mask
me: oh no one makes me i just like to do it for myself
her: *kinda incomprehensible muttering* oh but masks arent mandatory anymore yknow actually they said you cant wear them anymore
me confused and uncomfortable: yeah i know theres no mandate its just i just like wearing it!
her: yknow people are actually using them to Burglarize. so theyre all saying you cant wear them anymore because only Burglars wear them still
me who is literally an employee at this store: haha. Well your total is
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