#was in the middle of making trash compactor and then realized it was us and not a silly oc thing but i didn't have the heart to

[haleyrose19]

Can I have you honest opinion of a script I am writing

The Heart Of A Middle Schooler

Actress: Narrator/Future Middle Schooler Actor: Middle Schooler & Counselor * On The Bus *

Narrator: There I am, Middle School me. So fragile, you may as well stick a “Fragile” sticker on me. Everyone used to tell me how sweet and caring I was to EVERYONE around me. Yet, the funny thing is, no one ever returned that feeling EXCEPT my family, well… kinda. They had good intentions but they weren't the best at showing it. I find it fascinating how I could have been around so many people at one time, yet still feel so alone.

Possible Intro *

Actress: Hi, Im _ and I play the future Middle Schooler

Actor: And I'm __ and I play the Middle Schooler and the counselor

Actress: The Heart Of A Middle Schooler

Actor: By Haley Marstein and Travis Strecker.

Narrator: I wasn't the “Coolest “ Person in school, quite the opposite really. I wasn't an outcast. To be an outcast, people would have to know you exist. I didn't stand out among the crowd and didn't talk much until I was with my friends. My friends couldn't quiet me down no matter how hard they tried. Looking back on it, I realize how hard they really tried…

*Actor Stomps foot on the ground *

Narrator: People started making fun of me because I had put on a few pounds. After a while of bullying from others I started wearing a coat or a heavy sweatshirt everyday to school. I did this because I realized if I wore a coat or a baggy sweatshirt that it would hide my size. People started making fun of me because I wore a coat to school everyday, but I just shrugged it off as nothing because “at least I'm not being bullied about my weight.” I had to take the lesser of two evils in this scenario. The bullying had gotten so bad that I would go home and cry about it every night. No matter how I acted nothing would change, I finally reached out to the counselor in desperation.

Middle Schooler: I have been getting bullied quite a lot the past few months. And whenever I go home, those thoughts just sit on my shoulders. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to escape this loop. I am sinking further and deeper into something dark and terrifying.

Narrator: As I was sitting in the Counselor's Office I felt my body tense up, I felt my heart beat accelerate at a concerning rate. “What was this feeling? Was it normal? Was my heart rate supposed to be this fast, No… This isn't normal.” I needed someone to pull me out of my spiral, I was sinking at an exponential rate. And all I heard was:

Counselor: What could YOU have done to possibly provoke them to do such a thing?

Narrator: What could I have done to provoke THEM to HARASS ME! Somehow I didn't scream, I calmly replied;

Middle Schooler: I… I don't know…

Narrator: As tears are streaming down my face, the counselor who apparently can't pick up on social cues says this;

Counselor: Well, Maybe you should have thought about that before you came in here… Now that THIS is cleared up. Is there something else you needed from me?

Narrator: I reply with tears draining from my eyes, so much that I couldn't even reply properly;

Middle Schooler: N-No…

Narrator: I got up and left. Give her the “counselor of the year” award. Anyway, after feeling like an unwanted doll, who just got thrown in the trash compactor. She kicked me out of her office with tears pouring down my face. I had to walk down the hallway looking like I just finished smoking the devils lettuce. That's when a few kids got sent to the hallway, kids I knew, and all they did was stare at me as I did what I liked to call “the walk of shame.” I know what you're thinking, yes, this “Walk of Shame” happened so regularly that I named it. Despite having my trust in an adult shatter, I kept going back to her. I know, I wasn't the brightest bulb in the shed. To add salt to the wound, everytime I told her anything she would immediately call my parents after I kept telling her;

Middle Schooler: The only way I am gonna talk to you is if you PROMISE not to tell ANYONE ANYTHING you hear today.

Narrator: and she would always say;

Counselor: I promise I won't tell anyone anything unless it deeply concerns me.

Narrator: Which of course I would always believe her because, I mean she's an adult, they wouldn't lie to me? Right? But then she would call my parents and I would go back to the walk of shame. After school I would go home and get “talked” to about how these feelings aren't normal and that I shouldn't have these problems because I'm quote on quote “too young.” After being “talked to '', I would go to my room and panic, because if these feelings aren't good and normal, was I crazy? Turns out, I wasn't crazy! These feelings are normal, but at the time how was I supposed to know that? After a few hours of thinking I was clinically insane and worrying about how and when my parents are going to ship me to a mental hospital, I would break and begin sobbing even harder than I thought was humanly possible. That's when I started to write, write so many letters about so many different topics, They would read:

Middle Schooler: Dear Mother and Father, I am sorry, but I apparently have not been succeeding at the task at hand. I have decided for you that I will no longer cause you such melancholy. I understand that these feelings that I feel wont and never will be normal. I am sorry for not knowing how to harness my despair. With deepest remorse, Travis.

Narrator: I did write like that, I swear.

Future middle schooler: Meanwhile Travis Was Going Through All Of That…

Narrator 2: That is me. I look so frail. My life has not been… easy. I used to come home from school and bury myself in my homework hoping my efforts would one day impress my parents enough for them to look at me the same way the day they would look at my sister.

Future Middle school: Mom? Dad? Look, I got a B- on my spelling test. Aren’t you proud?

Narrator 2: They were never proud. Never. I would never impress them at parent teacher conferences. They would get disappointed by my B average grades but they would ask my sister's teachers and ask them ‘Is she going to be a doctor?’

Future Middle school: I can be doctor

Narrator 2: I confess my sins to you in hopes you would understand but I feel you don’t entirely understand. I would cry myself to sleep after trying to make my parents proud, bearing the weight of being there and being let down, their mistake. I would try so hard to make them proud I ended up teaching myself how to cook so that they would not have to work and deal with my siblings when they finished their hard day of work. However it was never good enough even after I would burn myself by accident to make them meals and yet they were never proud.

Future Middle schooler: Aren’t you proud?

Narrator 2: On top of it all I would go to school afraid that if I step wrong or breathe funny my friends would leave. No matter what I would do I would fear they would leave and eventually they did. Then I was alone. I wish I could take back whatever it was that made them leave but it didn’t matter they weren’t coming back. I disappointed them too. I still cry knowing they never wanted me ever. I was just a MISTAKE.

Future Middle Schooler: Aren’t you proud?

Narrator 2: I know now my feelings were not normal and they would never be proud only ever disappointed in me. I am a failure. A mistake.

[slytherflynn]

Old and New | Pt I

Blaise Zabini x muggle!reader

word count: 1971

summary: y/n is new to France on a study abroad trip. Blaise is visiting France post-Hogwarts. rags to riches story of an unfortunate muggle falling for a complicated, ridiculously wealthy person who just so happens to also be a powerful Wizard.

a/n: this started with an idea, became a moodboard, then became an entire fleshed out fic! I thought it would be short but my brain had other ideas. enjoy! note: I did write this from my personal perspective in life. as a result it is not very inclusive. I plan to change that with my next fics, I’ve just been having a really hard time lately and have been writing a lot of comfort fics and/or self-inserts to escape from irl bc irl is rly shitty for me rn

It’s a brand-new start, in a brand-new apartment, in a brand-new city, in a brand-new country... an ocean away from home. I can bring Tacoma to France, right? At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. Study abroad is fucking... scary. I kinda regret it. It’s a good opportunity and for someone who doesn’t travel, it should be a fun experience. But I’m currently having an anxiety attack over taking out the garbage, so I’m not sure my positive self-talk is working.

I look out the window of my top floor apartment, wait until someone finally finishes walking down the stairs, and run out my door - I nearly trip about five times going down the spiral of death, my arms feel like jelly thanks to perpetually pushing my garbage deeper in to avoid this trip, and I swing with all my might to hurl my garbage bag into the trash compacting dumpster - only it hits the bottom lip and falls to the ground, splitting open.

“Great!” I say, sarcastically, “First they send my luggage to the wrong location, then they try to say my passport isn’t valid because my apartment was a temporary address, then I’m greeted with a fridge full of rotting food and no power, then I’m bitten up by fleas and now - I just- fuck. Why can’t I just- do anything- right-“ I cut myself off when I hear a screen door slide and blink a couple times to erase the threat of tears that had been creeping up on me while I ranted.

When I look up, I see a tall, dark-skinned guy about my age - handsome. He’s wearing a suit, and expensive jewelry. Combine that with the fact he’s living in the apartment building next to me, which is worth more than my life just for one month of rent, and I put together that he’s probably rich beyond belief. I quickly look away, not wanting to stare. I silently pick up my garbage, piece by piece. As I work, I feel eyes drilling holes in the back of my head. I ignore it. It continues, and I still ignore it as I finally shove my ripped garbage bag in the compactor and slam the door shut. I hear a slight jump up above, and chuckle to myself.

I zoom back up the stairs and almost make it to the top, but I trip 5 stairs away from my door - and fall, hard. Body laid out flat hard. Cheek scraped and stinging from the metal grating on the stairs, hard. Lost the goddamned slide that caught on the stair, and can see it gradually falling, bouncing and rolling down the stairs, hard. I lift my head and see blood on the stair. I feel it running down my face. All I can think is that this really fucking hurts. The tears come, a combination of pain and frustration, and I pick myself up and stumble my way into my apartment, completely forgetting about the attractive rich boy who just watched me be a danger and inconvenience to myself.

I rush to the kitchen and grab a roll of paper towels, and run to the bathroom, I see the markings in the mirror and can tell it will leave a sizeable scar. Do I need stitches? I don’t know. Anyway, I start dabbing at everything and blood is still oozing out of every nook and cranny, to my displeasure. I’m about to start bandaging my face when I hear a knock on my door. “Fucking Christ!” I mutter to myself as I slap a wad of paper towels on my face and sulkily go to fling open my door.

I’m not sure who I’m expecting, but to see the same rich guy on my doorstep, slide in hand, probably wasn’t it. “Hey, um, I saw what happened, and I thought you might want your shoe back.” His accent sounds very British - I was expecting it to sound more like a snooty Frenchman’s.

“Oh. Um. Thanks.” I say flatly.

As my muscles twitch to begin closing the door, he says, “Would you like some help cleaning that up? I have certifications to give medical aid... and stitches. My name’s Blaise, by the way.”

Doctor, maybe? Probably. “Sure,” I say, opening the door wider and standing back so the blood doesn’t drip on his suit. “I’m y/n.”

A few minutes later we’re in my bathroom, me sitting on the toilet, him sitting on the bathtub as he helps me fix my face. “So, Mademoiselle y/n,” He asks, “Do you find yourself in these predicaments very often?”

“Which one? Poverty, flea bitten, or bloody?” I say.

“I suppose whichever you’d like to think I was referring to.”

“Well, in *that* case - I’m usually caught unawares in all kinds of predicaments - though I’d say self-injury due to clumsiness is an uncommon one. And do you usually find yourself in predicaments requiring you to treat someone’s wounds?”

“I used to, though now it’s only on the occasion.”

“Sounds like an improvement,” I note. “I won’t guarantee it, but I think I’ll get the hang of walking up the stairs soon enough, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily mind it if I did worry about you once or twice more. Why were you running? It seemed like you wanted to get away from something. Does your garbage compactor smell that disturbing?”

“It doesn’t smell great,” I admit, “But truth be told, I’m not a fan of human interaction. It’s scary. Especially when everything is new to me.”

“How long have you been In France?”

“A few days, just enough to get myself physically settled.”

“I see. And you are from America?”

“Mhm. Let me guess, my accent gave it away.”

“And the slang, I’ve yet to hear someone from France use certain terms that you seem to favor.”

“Oh, most of my slang is specific to my city, not just my country.”

“Your city?”

“Yea, Tacoma. It’s near Seattle, if you know where that is. Tacoma’s better, though.”

“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never been there. My mother is a fashion designer, but she only travels where there’s inspiration or a business deal.” So that’s how he gets the expensive clothes. The rest of the money too, probably.

“Must be nice, having a handmade closet.” I muse. “Not that I care for having any more clothes than I brought. They’re pretty reliable, if I do say so myself.”

He laughs. “Yes, well, if the blood stains don’t come out of your jumpsuit you might need a new one. They shouldn’t be too difficult to remove, though.”

“Yea, I’ll just dump a bucket of Oxi-Clean on it and call it a day. That is, if any stores nearby have it.” I frown, realizing I have no clue if France carries any of the products I usually get. This is gonna suck. Hopefully the internet has some answers so I don’t have to ask anyone for help.

“Why don’t I take your jumpsuit back with me? Save you the trip. Believe it or not, I used to have chronic nosebleeds, so I know a thing or two about stain removal.” Blaise offers.

I smile, only just. “Well, if you insist. But I love this jumpsuit practically more than myself, so I expect it back right away!”

He returns the smile. “A fan of fashion? You ought to meet my mother.”

I chuckle. “I’m sure your mom would despise me - I only own seven jumpsuits and some athleisure for going on runs.” I pause, then tack on: “Oh, and some fuzzy pajamas for when I’m sick.”

Blaise cocks a brow at me. “And when you’re not sick?”

“Don’t worry about it.” I grin mischievously.

A wave of recognition graces his eyes, and he very quickly looks away, I assume for being flustered.

“You Americans, always so scandalous.” He tsks in mock scorn.

“That’s what we’re known for, is it not?” I say cheekily, “Beer, boobs and gun barrels. And all the other problems that come with that, but that’s a can of worms I am not looking to open today.”

He ties off his handiwork, and says, “It looks like my job is finished, other than stealing your jumpsuit off your back to fix it. I can wait in the other room, if you’d like?”

“Um, yea, that works. Lemme just, grab my next jumpsuit. Gonna have to do laundry early, I suppose-“

“I can wash your jumpsuit for you. I’m pretty good at reading labels, if I do say so myself.” He jokes.

“Oh?” I say, “Then you must be a real genius! Who taught you, Einstein?”

“No, but it was another white-haired, eccentric man, so you’re not that far off.”

“When all teachers are like that it’s kind of impossible not to hit relatively close to the mark.” I remark, then change clothes as quickly as I can, tossing the dirty outfit into a trusty plastic bag and tying it shut.

When I walk out to the living room, Blaise is toying with one of my sculptures. He’s definitely been meandering and lurking around. “Enjoying yourself?” I ask, at which he jumps. “You’re rather skittish, Blaise.”

“And you’re rather quiet on your feet, y/n.” He observes. “But yes, I quite like your eclectic style. If only you had an apartment that let your customization shine. Something more minimalist.”

“Yes, well, it’s something I’ll forever dream of and likely never accomplish. I don’t suspect I’m going to be someone leaving the income level I was born into.” I say, just a little bit cynical.

“And why is that?” He asks.

“Because most people don’t, and the ones who do are the ones who make money. My career isn’t going to make me money.” I reply.

“So why did you pick it?”

I sigh. “Because somebody has to care about the people like me. The politicians don’t, the middle class don’t, and the rich are hell bent on keeping us there so they can have factory workers and have people going straight to prison after they graduate because we’re all desperate and miserable.”

He frowns. “That’s terrible.”

“It’s reality. And I don’t want to be like the people who get rich and stop caring because all they see is the wage difference and pretend it’s justified so they don’t have to feel complicit in the system.” I look him in the eye, my face grim. “Not all luck is by chance. Most of it is by design.”

He nods. “I understand, in a way.”

“Everyone does.” I say. “But understanding in a way and caring enough to do something about it are two different things.” I look away from him when I see his posture change. “I’m not trying to be rude, but it’s impossible not to notice the wealth gap between us when you’re wearing designer clothes and living in what looks like a mansion and I’m living in a building made in like 1900 with no elevator. It’s just the way things are, though.”

“I know.” He says quietly, thoughtfully. “I’d better get going. Your clothes?” He reaches out tentatively for the bag I’m still holding.

“Oh. Right.” I say, handing it to him. Our fingers brush against each other slightly, and it sends chills down my spine. He heads to the door while I’m rooted to the spot, collecting myself.

“I look forward to seeing you again, y/n.” He nods, meeting my eyes with a rather changed expression.

“I’ll see you soon, then?” I ask, not quite sure which answer I’m expecting.

He smiles, only just. “As soon as I am able.” Seconds later, he’s out the door, and I’m alone in my dingy ass apartment. How in the fuck did any of that just happen?

[hoardcloneheadcanons]

Rhack Story P5-Meet Angel

Moxxi's eye's leveled with Rhys's, scanning him.

"So…. let me get this straight. Jack and Nisha were dating,”

"U-huh."

“Then you and Jack were dating.”

“Sure.”

“Then you get closer to him and... Jack introduced you to his daughter?”

Rhys let out a low unnerving chuckle.

It wasn’t a laugh, so much as what a laugh might sound like if you left it in the dark for months on end and it started scratching designs on the cell walls.

“Oooh No… Good Guess, I guess? Like I can see how you would see think that. Like, it gets serious then you introduce your significant other to the kids. Right? That’d be Normal? That’d be sane?

As if Jack could ever be normal.

So Nooo.”

He made some mouth-clicking noises on his cheek as he tried to form his words

“She was in a satellite.”

“There’s no other way to start that, he was keeping her in a fucking SATTELITE!

OH God. Um. As you’ve noticed, she is a siren. And Jack couldn’t control her.  And he hates that, but he still loves his little girl, or he thinks he does. So he couldn’t kill her, because he still loves her, but he couldn’t control her so he had to lock her away. In a satellite.

I know I already said that, but it just keeps getting to me that he put her in a prison that wasn’t even on any natural land. It was way out in the middle of space. It was inescapable, she’d have to make her own pod to get out. If that thing blew up she’d have no way of getting out because he wouldn’t leave that amount of escape for her.

I cannot emphasize how much No ONE was supposed to know about her, meeting her was a fluke.

Jack gave me a mission where I was supposed to go inside a pod with a mechanic, and that mechanic was supposed to fix one of our satellites… uh Krios, specifically.

We were taking a weird path to it, it was longer than it should have been, more… arcs. The official reason was that it was supposed to avoid meteor clusters, but that didn’t track. We send our cargo pilots through meteor clusters all the time.

And all we were supposed to do was follow the autopilot to the satellite, fix it up and go back.

And he said that he knew how mechanics liked to cut corners, and he didn’t want the mechanic trying to take a faster path. He wanted us to stay directly on the charted course. If the mechanic tried to take a different path, I was to shoot them in the head.

He gave me an upgrade specifically for the task. It was a gun hidden in my arm. They’d have no way of knowing it was coming.

And at that point I wasn’t sure if he was giving me the task because he trusted me or because I was disposable. I was in a weird place with Jack at the time, It was after the first time I tortured a guy for him. I knew I was a terrible person. And I couldn’t tell if he saw me as competent or disposable.

Because on one hand, I just beat up a guy for him. so maybe he wanted to see if  I’d be willing to kill someone for him. On the other, maybe whatever was important enough to kill a mechanic for was important enough to kill me for.

It went great for a bit. The ship moved itself, and I didn’t have to do anything.

It was awkward. The shuttle was about the size of a small room, and the mechanic and I were just sitting on opposing benches across from each other, trying not to make eye contact.  

She didn’t like to talk, and I was just staring at a corner. I was trying not to get attached just in case I had to kill her, so I wasn’t very chatty either. It was just a job to her. It was just a job to me too.

But half-way through the autopilot shuts off. Debris  is creating a magnetic interference and it’s making the system glitch out.

And the mechanic- she said something like “fine, I guess we’re going to have to go manual."

And I told  her “No we have to wait it out. I don’t know the route and the autopilots off."

She told me she knew the route to Krios, that she’s done this repair job before

And I ask her “Do you know the route we were using, or do you know the old faster route? Because we’re only allowed to use the current edition. It’s company policy.”

And as soon as I say that she looked ready to punch me in the face.

“Are you serious?  I’m losing money while we sit here. I don’t get paid by the hour I get paid by the job, and I got other jobs to do. My company’s going to be down my throat.”

Hyperion is a client of her company’s. She was an out-of-house contractor.

Anyway, while we’re having that discussion the debris comes flying at us. You know, the debris causing the interference? It’s a trash shuttle, a big one, about the size of the shuttle we’re on. And the lid is pointy. I don’t know why they design them like that but it’s terrifying. and it was partially opening so that robot limbs are leaked through.

I froze. All I could think about was  that after  spending so much time terrified of Jack, I was going to be killed by a flying trash can.

While I was distracted, the mechanic, whose name I was specifically did not learn, shoved me out of the way, got to the controls, and steered us out of the way of impact.

Trash compactor collided with a meteor that was behind us. Parts flew everywhere and she continued to steer the ship until we were out of the field of scrap.

Then we get a moment to breath, and the auto-pilot turns back on and kilometers off course.

So based on my mission directive, I had to kill her.

And I got as far as readying the gun on my arm before I realize that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be the guy who killed someone after they saved his life. I’d already done things I regretted for Hyperion, this wasn’t going to be one of them.

Instead, I started panicking. And the mechanic thought I was just freaking out  from our near-death experience with the debris.”

Rhys mimicked her  dry gravel the best he could.

……

“Dude, we’re out of the debris field. We’re alive, calm down.”

“No you don’t get it, we’re both fucked, we’re both dead. I’m suppose- We’re supposed to be killed if we go off path. Hyperion has too many secrets and they don’t like orders being disobeyed, even dumb ones.”

I remember she took a moment to look at my face to realize my panic was real. That I wasn’t lying.

“Fuck, I can’t change my identity again. My sister just adjusted to her school, we just got stable. I can’t do this again.”

I remember her inhale, how quickly she changed from frustration and fear to solid resolve. I remember her looking into my cybernetic eye with hatred, and I didn’t blame her.

“Fine. Fine. We’ll leave. I guess that’s the only option. I’ll take this shuttle as far as it can go, drop you off on some unknown planet, take my sister, and try to get somewhere safe. It’ll suck to restart again but it’s my only option, so lets go.”

Once she said it I realized that the nearby planet she’d probably drop me on would be here, Pandora. And I had to visualize what it would be like to build a life here. And I had a moment of cold fear where I just considered my options before I realized there was a way where neither of us had to give up our lives.

I put my left hand on her shoulder.

“Wait, maybe there’s another option. The data from the mission logs from the shuttle and my eye are probably going to give us away, but it’s going to have  to go through a communication’s satellite first.

I’m going to jam the signal and hopefully the magnetic interference is causing a delay. If I can get to a communication satellite, I can alter the data a little bit to make it look like nothing happened. No one needs to  know we got off course. No one needs to lose their job. Your sister doesn’t have to switch schools.”

She looked skeptical, but she was as desperate as I was.

….

So, we drove over to the nearest communication satellite.

or what we thought was the nearest communication satellite.

When we were… six clicks away? 400 meters? I noticed that we were arcing away from the dock we were trying to land on and the mechanic told me she lost control of the shuttle.

She lifted her hands up, and the steering wheel kept turning, no human control, and no autopilot engaged. The control panel was glowing a faint blue, so light you could swear it was some odd reflection from the stars.

 And suddenly I got this splitting migraine.

Right now, all I have is glass and this eyepatch. But all the circuitry relating to my old Hyperion-tech eye was tied into my nervous system, all too close to my brain. I’d been getting mild headaches and buzzing in the brain since the start of the magnetic field interference.  But when we got close to the satellite it felt like something was drilling into my head.  

I keeled over in pain and got dark spots in my vision.

Then, while I was on the floor I heard a female, robotic voice say to me,

“I’m sorry I had to take control of your shuttle. There are turrets attached to the outside of this satellite that I cannot control. They will shoot you if you come closer.

I am sorry for your predicament. I am partially responsible.  I am doing my best effort to make amends. I am currently erasing your shuttle’s data systems and your eye’s memory banks to make it look like you were never here. Jack will not find you. It is fine. You need to turn around.”

Do not tell Rita Greene I am here.  Knowledge of my existence will only bring harm to the people who possess it. I am sorry I had to contact you, but it was the only way to communicate.”

I didn’t know what I was hearing at the time. The best I could guess was a highly advanced surveillance A.I. that Jack was hiding, and who had power over my tech. I was afraid to disobey her, and eager to believe something had saved me from needing to rebuild my life on Pandora.

Rita was the mechanic whose name I was trying to avoid learning. I verified that the data was altered, and then I lied to her. Told her I was in pain because I was hacking from a distance. She asked me why we lost control, and I said the autopilot must still be glitching. I’m not sure if she believed me. She believed me enough to see if my plan work, I think she trusted I wouldn’t put my own life at risk.

We turned around, fixed the Krios satellite. Went back to Helios, and no one killed us. No one mentioned us breaking any rules.

I waited for days for someone to kill me, to realize I didn’t follow orders and gut me, but it never came. Jack never found out.

That was the first time I met Angel. I thought it would be the last.

I was wrong.

[takingcourage]

Color and Light

Characters: Thomas Mendez, MC (Allison), and MC’s daughter (Kira) 

Word Count: 2,400

Summary: With Luz away and Allison occupied for the morning, Thomas has a special strategy to pass the time with Kira. 

Note: I’ve been wanting to write a story about Thomas and MC’s daughter for ages. The lack of scenes between them is one of the very few complaints I have about MotY, so I thought I’d fill in a little bit of that gap with this fic. It was originally intended to fulfill a Choices August Challenge (kaleidoscope), but life got hectic in August and it this story was pushed to the back burner. All of that to say, the summer setting and inspiration for this story aren’t quite as random as they may seem. 

I hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for reading. : ) 

Crick. 

Crack. 

Thomas's stride broke as he became aware of the noise. Brow furrowing as he continued toward the kitchen, he mentally filtered through the possible causes: pipes, dishwasher, trash compactor... He was relatively certain that he hadn’t left anything running after making Allison’s coffee a half hour before. Whatever was happening in the kitchen must be taking place without his influence. 

Bracing himself, he rounded the corner. 

Though the room had no windows, the morning light still made its way into the space, relieving his fears before he'd even had a chance to flip the switch back on. 

Nothing.

There was no burst pipe, no invading animal waiting to jump out at him from the countertops, nothing at all out of the ordinary.

It was the ice maker, he realized in relief.

Thomas couldn’t recall the last time the house had been quiet enough for him to make out the background noises. With Luz around, there was always music or the television or the steady thud of soccer drills against the outside wall...With a quick shake of his head, he padded to the other end of the silent kitchen to brew a second carafe of coffee.

The air conditioner was working; he could hear the distinct hum from the upstairs unit keeping the house a pleasant 74 degrees. Soledad had chosen the best. Almost fifteen years in this house, and it had never needed more than routine maintenance to keep things perfectly cool. 

And yet, there was no mistaking the sheen breaking out on the back of his neck.

Stress had been mounting for the past twenty minutes -- ever since Allison had kissed him and slipped through the front door. Ordinarily, he'd be lacing his running shoes by now, determined to master the involuntary responses that his body was lapsing into. Today, he needed to work through it in another way.

Thomas glanced at the microwave clock, performing the calculations as he opened the refrigerator door to retrieve milk and a pair of eggs. Kira had gone to bed around 9:00 the night before. Based on the many nights she'd stayed over at the house since the start of summer, she’d wake up to join him any minute. Hot sweat returned with the confirmation.

This was hardly the first day he’d spent alone with a ten year old. It certainly wasn’t the only time he’d been with Kira without Allison there. But it was the first morning he’d spent without Luz serving as a buffer. Somehow, ten years of experience with one child hadn’t left him feeling prepared to take on the other. 

He was a lawyer and a recovering workaholic, for goodness sake -- hardly the sort of person a preteen girl wanted to spend the day with. 

Lowering the lid on the waffle maker, his eyes glazed over as the steam rose from between the metal plates. He bit down on the inside of his cheek, finally glancing away when the indicator light flickered on.

A creak sounded from the bottom of the stairs, and his heart flew into his throat. He cast a quick glance around the room before peering across the counter to the house’s other occupant. 

“Morning, Kira,” he greeted, voice sounding mostly normal. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Fine. That bunk bed is really comfortable."

“Great!” His response was a little too hasty. Pulling himself back, he topped off his mug of coffee, blew, and watched the wave ripple over the glassy surface. “I took a gamble and made some waffles for breakfast. Does that sound okay to you?”

Kira looked at the metal contraption with a curious half-smile. “It sounds delicious!”

“With orange juice?”

“Mmhmm, thank you,” she confirmed, already climbing onto a barstool. “Did my mom leave for class?”

Thomas snagged a plate from the overhead cabinet and used a pair of tongs to extract a perfectly golden-brown waffle from the mold. “She headed out about half an hour ago,” he answered before sliding her breakfast across the countertop.

Kira’s face puckered with disappointment. “She doesn’t usually leave so early; I thought I’d be up in time to see her.”

“She had to run an errand on the way," he explained. "Do you need to talk to her? You can borrow my phone if you want.”

Food forgotten, she set the syrup upright, its contents slowly oozing back down toward the bottom of the bottle. “That would be great! I wanted to wish her luck on her test.”

Passing her the device, he turned to give her some privacy. By the time he’d rinsed the mixing bowl and unplugged the waffle maker, Kira had composed the message. 

“Keep in in case she texts back,” he suggested, reaching for his coffee again.

“Thanks.” She went back to pouring syrup, alternating squares in the waffle until she’d achieved a checkerboard effect.

Concealing his raised brow, Thomas took another sip of his drink. The two girls could not be more different. With Luz, it was always a challenge to keep her from using half the bottle. Kira’s measured approach was far less troubling by comparison. If the girls already fought like real sisters, they complemented one another perfectly as well. He’d lost track of the number of times that one girl’s vice had been counteracted by the other’s virtue. 

Yet another sign that this is meant to be. 

The phone screen came to life before their eyes, and Kira tapped to view her mother’s message. “She got it in time.” With a grin, she handed it back to Thomas. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome.” Based on the angle, there was no way for him to take it without casting an eye over the messages.

Good luck, mom! You’ve got this!⚡️

Thanks! Love you, kiddo. ⚡️

Something within him melted on reading the exchange, though the sensation was quickly replaced by something far less pleasant: fear.

Allison knew Kira so well. It was one of the things that had stood out to them when they’d first met, and it had only become more abundantly clear in the months that had followed. And while Guy didn’t take much of an interest in his daughter’s life, Kira still seemed to thrive on the time they spent together. In short, she already had two parents. Where did that leave him?

Sighing as he slide the phone back into his pocket, he walked around to the other side of the kitchen so he could join her at the counter.

“Thanks for making breakfast,” she acknowledged as he sat down. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“I wanted to. It’s not often that the two of us get to have time together.”

Kira met his eyes with an amused smile. "True, but Luz is going to be jealous when she finds out we had waffles.”

“We’ll make them again when she gets back,” he promised, feeling the anxiety stir his stomach again. Breakfast was easy. If the rest of the morning ran as smoothly, it would be a miracle.

Kira cut another bite and chewed thoughtfully. "You're really good at it. The machine my mom has always burns the middles. Yours are better,” she whispered, green eyes narrowing with the conspiratorial whisper.

“Maybe we should buy her a new machine one of these days.”

Swallowing her bite, Kira regarded him with a creased brow. “But she can just use yours -- we’re over all the time! And it would be silly to buy another one when you’re just going to get married.”

Thomas could only hope that the girl wasn't perceptive enough to notice the way his cheeks darkened at the suggestion. He forced a sip of coffee down and tried to counteract his mortification. “What makes you think we’re getting married?”

“Luz told me she found a ri--” her face froze. “Nevermind. I don’t know anything. Forget I said that.”

Sensing an opportunity, Thomas pressed her further. “Do you want us to get married?”

"Yeah." The corner of her mouth lifted as her eyes crinkled. “Mom’s really happy when she’s with you, and Luz and I would get to be sisters for real! It would be perfect.”

He smiled in agreement before deciding it would be prudent to change the subject. “How should we spend the rest of our morning?” 

Inadvertently, the question came just as she’d placed another forkful of waffle into her mouth. Thomas offered a repentant chuckle as she worked over the bite of food, though she didn’t seem to hold it against him.

“I brought a book,” she informed him after swallowing. “I can be super quiet while you’re working. Oh! Or do you have a case I can help with? I could read tracking numbers to you again if you want.”

“Actually,” he began, growing almost shy with the suggestion, “I was hoping you might be up for a science project today -- whatever you like.” He set his near-empty cup on the marble surface, hoping he hadn’t misstepped.  

“Really?” Her eyes flashed to life again, scrunching up at the corners in exactly the same way Allison’s did when she was passionate about something. Even if he’d never met her mother, the girl’s expression would have been impossible to resist. 

“Really. It would be fun to make something we can show your mom when she gets back this afternoon.”

“And Luz, when she gets back from soccer camp!”

“And Luz,” he added with a grin. He wondered vaguely if the two girls would be so eager to see each other once they were living under the same roof all of the time. “I’ll let you decide on a project while I clean up from breakfast. Doesn’t matter what it is.”

“Okay!” she took a pensive bite while he walked back around to the kitchen. “You’re sure it can be anything?”

“Uhhh,” he wavered, remembering too well the sorts of things that ten-year-old girls were capable of when there were no boundaries. It’s Kira, he had to remind himself. At worst, we’re looking at a bunsen-burner fire or some kind of mild chemical reaction. “Anything,” he confirmed after a pause. 

“Okay, I figured it out,” she announced moments later as he was wiping down the countertops.

“And...?”

“I wanna make a kaleidoscope!”

“Sounds perfect, though I think we’ll need to go on a supply run. Can you make a list?”

She held out one hand to begin ticking items on her fingers. “Well, I’ve already got confetti for the bottom. Faye gave me a bunch from one of her promo boxes and told me to use it for something cool. If we can run by our apartment, I know exactly where it is. After that, we’ll need some PVC pipe, mirrors, a glass cutter, a petri dish....” Still bending her fingers, she paused for further consideration. 

“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?” 

“I’ve wanted to make one for forever!” Catching herself, she backpedaled a bit. “If you’re sure it’s okay...”

“I have one condition...” Squeezing the excess water from the towel, he draped it over the faucet to dry. Kira’s eyes were glued to him when he turned, her brows slanted with something approaching consternation. “You have to explain what you’re doing each step of the way so I know how it works.”

Her mouth fell open for a beat before snapping shut again. “Sure!”

This time, the smile that came to Thomas’s face was a little more confident. So far, so good.  

_____

For the next several hours, all worries were in vain. There were no awkward silences or stumbling uncertainties. Each minute was consumed with questions and explanations, safety tutorials for cutting glass, excited strategizing, and careful construction. They’d just started clearing up their lunch dishes when Allison’s key clicked in the lock. 

“Mom!” Kira rushed to finish loading her plate in the dishwasher. “How was your test?” Her whole face was lifted in anticipation. 

“I passed with a 96%.”

“You’re so smart, mom!”

Retrieving the elastic band from her wrist, Allison swept her hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. “And you’re so sweet. Thanks for the energy zap this morning.”

“Welcome! Do you wanna see what Thomas and I made?”

At Allison’s eager nod, Kira led her to the den. Thomas stayed behind until the rest of the dishes were in the machine, content to hear their lively chatter a couple of rooms away. 

When he joined them, Allison was waiting by the arched doorway. “Kira’s never going to forget this. I can’t thank you enough.”

"The pleasure was mine. And I have to admit, it was a very educational day for me. I didn’t realize how rusty I’d gotten in geometry and physics.”

“She’ll keep your mind sharp, that one.”

“One of the many perks to having the two of you around.”

“Ooh! Look at this!” Kira called out in the closest thing to a shriek that he’d ever heard from her. “The pattern is sooo cool. It looks like a gamma-ray burst!”

Taking the proffered object, he held it to his eye and squinted until he had a proper view. Between the mirrors and the lights, Faye’s bits of paper had taken on new life in a pattern that was at once both uniform and wild. And though he had only the faintest idea what a gamma-ray burst looked like, satisfaction took hold of him as he gazed through the tiny opening.

Since her birth, Luz had been his light. She’d carried him through on the days when he hadn’t even been certain he wanted to go on. For a time, that light had been all he’d needed. But Allison and Kira had brought more to the equation: a beauty, a vibrance, a curiosity and passion for life that he hadn’t even realized he’d been missing. Together, the three of them made for a fuller world than he had ever thought possible. 

“Did you know they’re the brightest explosions in the universe?”

“I didn’t,” he whispered, careful not to shift the design as he passed the cylinder back to Kira. 

Thomas settled next to Allison, her shoulder a comfortable weight against his while they listened to the enthusiastic science lesson that followed. As her fingers sought his, Thomas’s thoughts drifted (ever so slightly) to the ring Luz had found a few days before. If all went the way he was hoping, his home -- and his life -- would never be colorless again. 

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 6/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774 

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

“Why name her BB8?”

“She was the eighth of a litter—we tried to call her anything else but that’s all she would respond to, so BB8 stuck,”

Rey was happy to give the dog a few scratches. The big ball of affection didn’t hesitate to throw an old tennis ball at her feet, along with a sock, a rubber duck, and even a fork she had pilfered from the kitchen in place of a stick.

The duck squeaked as she grabbed it, and Rey burst into a laugh of pure joy. How could she have been so mistrustful of an old woman who owned such an adorable dog?

“Why did your brother leave you his dog?”

“She was injured by a hit-and-run and I rushed her to the vet, but he eventually had to leave her to get back to his professional obligations at the time. It hurt him to leave her behind but we both knew she was in good hands. Since then I’ve been looking for an opportunity to take her back, but I’m in no shape to make the journey myself anymore.”

Rey said nothing as she watched the charming dog go round and round on the carpet as she waited for Rey to play with her some more. Leia put down her steaming teacup.

“So, Rose sent you, right? Are you close friends?”

“Not at all, actually. I just happened to be at her café at the right time. We talked a bit, I mentioned my travels and my personal life, and she said you have a job to give me,” Rey chuckled, going a little red.

“I was worried it was a con—drugs, guns, something illegal. But everything’s alright, I love BB8. I’d love to take her on the route with me, she’ll be good company. Always a good idea to have a dog when travelling solo. “

“Well, I’m not sure she’ll be an effective guard dog, you know,” Leia smiled.

“Oh, no worries, her presence is enough, at worst she’ll be more bark than bite! How urgently would I have to take her to San Francisco?”

“She’s already six months late, a few more weeks wouldn’t matter…are you comfortable with the detour?”

Rey tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she adjusted her topknot, ruminating on her response.

“I wanted to go up to Yellowstone National Park, and then Montana. Take a trek, do some rafting or some horse riding, something like that. I also wanted to check out some ghost towns, see a rodeo, maybe a powwow? Then make my way down to Idaho and Nevada. Take my time, you know. Would that be a problem for BB8?”

“Not as long as she makes it back to Luke—my brother—in one piece,” Leia waved a hand dismissively, “I’m sure it’s going to be a lovely trip. I wish I was your age so I could go globetrotting too,”

Rey laughed, glancing from one photo to another. “Weren’t you in the army? I’m sure you traveled a lot…on that note, Rose mentioned a car?”

Leia got up and motioned for Rey to follow her. “Yes, it too belonged to my brother. You’ll need to take it to California too, and it’s not doing quite as well as our friend BB8. I’m afraid it’s not exactly the most recent make and model,”

Rey followed Leia outside the house. They were taking a walk, it seemed. BB8 trotted along happily, occasionally snapping at the insects circling in the plants. It sat in a five by five plot of land in the middle of the garden on the other side of the house. Rey had mistaken it for a supplementary garbage disposal unit. An oldsmobile cruiser—exactly like the ones that at one point had been the very height of the 70s. It screamed vintage, from the boxy silhouette to the oversized bonnet which was as long as the boot itself.  The car had been white at some point, though the paint had certainly faded. It was complete with brown accents and a classic wood motif on the side, which made Rey cringe. She turned to Leia with a disapproving look.

“You have got to be joking here.  I thought your brother left you this hunk of junk to dispose of at some junkyard, not to give right back to him,”

“Well then,” Leia huffed, “all the more reason to do it, right? You know me, if he wanted to make a trash compactor out of me I really want to see his face when this baby shows up in his driveway again.”

Rey wasn’t sure if Leia was about to make a huge mistake. “This thing surely isn’t functioning anymore, is it? You’d make more money selling it to a junkyard than letting it collect dust in your garden.” Rey looked around again, “You could plant a lovely vegetable garden or whatnot instead, I’m sure you have a green thumb,”

“It was my husband’s,” Leia said wistfully, and Rey realized that she wasn’t kidding. “It was his pride and joy, he would fix it up himself back in the day. He loved that thing so much. And the life we had, all the crazy things we would do in that car…I didn’t have the heart to scrap it, it would be like killing him all over again.”

“He died? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you—“

“It’s fine,” Leia said, running her hand across the side panel in a gentle caress. “You had no way of knowing. He and my brother went the whole nine yards in this thing. It’ll get back to him somehow,”

“Alright, fine,” Rey conceded, “I understand, I’ll take the hunk of junk and the dog to San Francisco, no worries.  Do you have the papers as well?”

“Yes, they’re inside, let’s head back,”

After reviewing the vehicle registration and the owner’s manual (all of which were still up to date, not that she would have bet so) and following multiple assurances and other formalities, Rey found herself feeling something new inside. This would give her the solo road trip she always wanted, and an adorable dog to keep her company, in literally the most vintage American car she could have ever imagined.  She had always been a good driver and a car person, so she looked forward to driving a proper stick shift. It had been a good while since she last drove one and it only added to the excitement of the trip. Against all odds and expectations, Rey was actually quite a clever and resourceful  mechanic, thank you very much. She knew how to change the tires and the oil, and how to identify the source of most engine trouble. Simple things, really, but things that she would almost certainly have to do with this car. As for the rest of it, she would definitely have to invest in a good pair of sunglasses and a very wide-brimmed hat because the interior wasn’t air-conditioned at all. And water. Lots and lots of water. Maybe even a jerry or two of motor oil and petrol. And an emergency kit in case she really did get a flat tire. She was finally beginning to get goosebumps about this. Nevertheless, one detail remained to be settled.

“Pardon me if I’m being too frank Leia, but Rose mentioned some compensation, is that right?”

Leia was currently reassembling a dossier full of documents that Rey had decided not to take. She put it down gently. “Yes, I’ll be providing you with 500 dollars up front for your services. That should also cover the gaz change. Luke will give you the rest once he’s sure that BB8 is safe and sound.”

One thousand dollars wouldn’t cover all Rey’s costs, what with meals and motels and extra gaz. But she could make do, considering that a few days ago she was looking at spending twice as much just to loan a car. It would work out. It didn’t have to be a job per se, it could be…community service, absolutely.

Rey nodded, and Leia closed the dossier with a soft click.

“I’ll leave tomorrow then,” Rey said, deep in thought, “It’ll give me a whole day to make some purchases for the rest of the trip. Would you mind if I took the car? It could be a test drive as well…”

The afternoon was filled with what could only be called intense shopping. Her list consisted of mechanic’s tools, camping gear, sunblock, ration packs, a first-aid kit, dog biscuits, and even a cheap mountable stereo. She then purchased several CDs for the long road ahead, including a three disc deluxe album of the one and only KYLO & THE KNIGHTS OF REN, which she would no doubt regret impulse-buying later.

The car was at best dusty and stale, despite the little tree-shaped air freshener hanging from the front mirror. Too little too late to undo a decade’s worth of rotting in Leia Skywalker’s garden.  Rey took it upon herself to take it to a carwash and have it cleaned from the inside out. There was no telling what they would find. Earlier she had found a toy in between the back seats—a shiny red racecar that she’d shoved into the GB.

Getting ready took up most of her afternoon. She packed the car up with all her supplies and even made a little “doggie corner” for BB8 in the back seat. It was complete with a crochet blanket in case she got cold, a food bowl, her squeaky rubber duck, a tennis ball, and a single shoe. Everything was ready by the time that Leia called them back inside for dinner.

It was as though Rey was at her own grandmother’s house, despite the fact that she had only really known the woman for a couple of hours. She came back into the cottage to find a steaming bowl of spaghetti waiting for her. After a long day’s work, it was truly heaven.

“So, do you know Rose well, then?” Rey managed to ask after she had finished stuffing her face and regaining her strength.

Leia took a while to respond, prompting Rey to wonder what was so hard about the question. Finally, Leia raised her eyes after a long moment of reflection. “She and I both operate in a charity organization based out of Denver. That’s how I know her.”

“Oh! What kind of charity? meals for the poor or something?”

“Not exactly…”

Rey waited politely for an explanation but Leia seemed reluctant to answer. She pressed on, “Well? Come on now, surely you could elaborate a little?”

“It’s called Earth Soldiers,” Leia responded suddenly. She wasn’t smiling anymore, much to Rey’s surprise. “You could call us a group of…hardcore environmental rights activists.”

“So like GreenPeace? Protesting power plants-and chaining  yourself to property sort of activists?”

“Sure, you can think of it like that if you want,”

Rey was all full belly and drooping eyelids by then; she failed to notice the tension building in the room.

“But isn’t that dangerous at your age? Can you still attend the happenings or whatever they are?” Rey continued.

Leia’s gaze hardened imperceptibly. “I’ve spent my whole life fighting and I want to go down swinging,” she replied.

“Ah, I see. I imagined that after a life as full as yours you would have liked to take a break, but everyone is different, I guess,”

In response Leia simply began picking up her own empty plate so that she could start attending to the dishes. Rey tried her best to help by drying the dishes afterward and putting them away. Later, after spending a few minutes on her phone, Rey yawned loudly and excused herself for the night.

“Sorry, I should probably get to bed. May I set up the camping tent in the garden?”

“Just set up in the living room, that way you won’t get cold or have to take down a tent tomorrow. And you won’t have to hear the drunk ravings of the neighbors next door,”

“Alright, BB8 and I will leave after breakfast in the morning, goodnight Leia,”

“Good night, young lady.”

Rey rested her head on her new inflatable camping pillow, curled up snugly in her brand new sleeping bag. The carpeted floor would do for now. She was going to have to get used to sleeping on the floor soon. BB8 curled up into a ball too, sleeping on the couch after realizing that her dinner bowl was nowhere to be found (it was still in the car). Rey fell into a deep sleep. This was the first night she had not been anxious about the future, barring of course the night she was too drunk to remember—that didn’t count.

Late into the night, a coyote wandered the sleeping trailer park, an unfortunate shrew in its jaws.

Much further away, in the heart of Denver, Ben Solo performed another concert at Howl at the Moon, and Rose left the night shift at the Night Owl Café to her sister, Paige.

Their next door neighbor George Watto had started his nightly ramblings no later than three in the morning, eventually falling asleep at his own front door, fully dressed and armed with a beer bottle like a true American hero. In the quiet little cottage next door, Rey slept soundly in the living room while Leia found no sleep in the bedroom next to it.

Tomorrow, she would send that girl off to Luke in San Francisco. It was too late to go back. After years of careful political maneuvering, her entire life’s work hinged on the whims of a random British tourist who decided to vacation here of all places. What if they discovered her little honey pot scheme? What if they laid a hand on…

It was somewhere in the middle of this tiring web of entirely disquieting thoughts that Leia Skywalker fell into a short and fitful slumber.

[agentmothmanstrikesagain]

Prepare for Battle

Dib had taken up a majority of Krugg’s workspace in the weapons lab at the Team Nebula base. He was frantically racing around and collecting all kinds of tools and spare parts, and spread out on a nearby table was the remains of The Gavel. He loathed it but it was all he had to work with. He would make it his own, make a name for it, make it a real weapon of justice instead of the pretense of  the true wickedness it was made under.

Dib had met Nebula in the rain at the base, and found that he was being chased by a jet black van with tinted windows. Dib had stood tall and threateningly as the van turned tail, squealing tires and racing away. They were on the lookout, and they just might be a force to be reckoned with if they had the balls to chase after a giant death lizard.

Foul Play was certainly at hand here, he was sure of it now.

Dib focused on reassembling The Gavel. It certainly wouldn’t be a gavel after this, and it would certainly be in need of a new name. Dib took the half of the hammer that was meant for damage and brought it over to a metal filing wheel. Once it was hot from friction and kept it’s shape and sharpness he set it down and began attaching it to the pole again.

Dib paused for a second. Why stop here? There’s so much more that could be done with this weapon. He realized that he didn’t have a plan either. Whatever, he was a known improviser anyways. He’d have to get armor this time. He kept rushing into danger without protection and it wouldn’t happen this time. For Zim’s sake..

For Zipper’s sake…

Dib began gathering the components to open up the middle casing, finding a small emp inside that let out a low frequency sound that Dib couldn’t hear. Though he came to find out after running a diagnostic, that it was meant to trigger the subconscious into placidity. A way to keep soldiers in check perhaps. Foul and disgusting.

Dib tossed it in the trash compactor, and then replaced the inside of the mid component of The Gavel with a spring piston mechanism. He clicked it into place and gave the weapon a test. Every hit he made with either side, the blade or the hammer, caused it to bounce back up in the air and wrench itself free of whatever it was stuck in, giving plenty of time to make quick swipes at enemies should Dib be found in the heat of battle. It just need a few adjustments...

He rushed about like a rat in a maze full of poison. Back and forth, his base, nebula base, weapon, armor, weapon, armor. He ignored when the Denivars came home, and he ignored anyone who attempted to get him to rest or tried to console him. It was sunrise by the time he’d visited home for the fourth time. The computer was auto-cleaning the upper floor of the base, and getting the animals in order. Dib stopped for a split second to observe before he’d rush back down to the labs. The animals were restless, as was Audrey 2. They knew what was wrong, and they were all uneasy about it, perhaps as much as Dib.

Dib raced down to the labs again, and checked on the 3D-printing of Nebula’s armor. That lizard was coming with him, and he deserved some protection in those softer areas, like under his throat, his belly and spine, and the joints of his limbs. Along with a special blade specially fitted for the end of the lizard’s tail. It was done.

All Dib needed was to finish that damn weapon. But first,

“Nebula.” Dib croaked quietly, speaking for the first time in hours. The lizard waddled over to him, inspecting the armor as though he didn’t even need to be told it was for him.

Dib motioned for the lizard to lean his head down and grabbed the head piece. It protected his forehead above his third eye and left two horns curving forward like a Trico.

Nebula shook his head excitedly after it had been strapped onto his head, and decided to test it out by ramming his head into the wall.

“Whoa. Jeeze alright. I guess you’re ready to throw down too huh bud?” Dib exclaimed after watching the beast leave a huge dent with two horn punctures in the thick metal walls.

Nebula roared out and slammed his tail down in front of Dib, as if to say “Duh now let’s get going.”

Dib grinned and fixed the armored tail blade to the lizard’s tail and watched Nebula experimentally take a slash at the wall before calming him down and getting the rest of the armor on.

Dib of course had his own protection as well. Many a time he’d worn his binder into the fray of battle and found himself feeling beaten and bruised in the chest because of it. He tore his trench coat off and wiggled into a chest plate with enough shock absorption power to stop The Massive if it were bearing down at him full speed.

Dib hit his chest a couple times and threw his arms out wide. “Computer! Take a test shot at me.”

The AI complied, sending Dib flying across the room of course, but he was completely uninjured, and fully capable of standing back up. Though it was now left with a nasty singe mark. Dib knew how to take care of that.

He collected a load of the scales Nebula had shed while growing, and began adhering them down to the armor, as well as using his dropped teeth to make spiked ridges along the arms and legs of the armor, on the head and back as well. Now all it would need is a fresh coat of blue and black paint. Maybe even some glow paint just for aesthetic, and a fine coat of fire retardant resin.

Dib made the march back to The Nebula base to finish and collect his weapon. He didn’t bother to disguise himself, most of the people in this town were indeed undoubtedly of alien origin, but those few human beings blind to what went on around them peered from their homes and places of business to stare in awe, and to undoubtedly record the sight of a person and a giant lizard both in full armor marching the streets.

(Anyone with access to their social media would be seeing quickly tracting videos of the scene. Talk about blowing cover.)

Paradiso was enjoying the rain, as her exoskeleton protected her from it, unlike normal-world irkens who burned under it. She and Nightmare and Nny were exploring the forest, enjoying the warm weather despite the rainfall. Ever since brother Zim had cocooned and molted he had been calmer, quieter. This did not mean that he wasn’t happy.

Paradiso watched as Nightmare looked at Nny out of the corner of his eye, and raced ahead into a clearing in the forest. He swooped down in a bow, almost like someone politely welcoming a guest into their home. He glanced up at Nny with a sly grin.

Paradiso smiled for a moment before giving them some privacy. She would go visit her twin today, the rain was starting to make her feel a little cool anyways. As she bounded through the woods she could hear her brother making a loud cooing, chortling noise before screeching heavy death metal to Nny, disturbing all the woodland critters.

She clicked in amusement as she ran through the trees and reached the edge of the woods. There was a thunder crack and a flash of lightning as the rain started coming down harder, brewing itself into a raging tempest. She leapt up on cars and fences, and house rooftops, leaping and jumping her way around town. She stopped, frowning in confusion as she saw Dib and Nebula marching solemnly down the street towards the Nebula base.

She let out a loud warning trill and leapt from the roof and down onto the top of a nearby car.

Dib was slightly taken aback by Paradiso’s sudden appearance. He didn’t think he’d ever really be used to a huge venomous scorpion child racing up to him. He knew she meant no harm, but he was curious as to why she was h- oh no…. Zipper.

“Paradiso!” Dib exclaimed. “What’s going on, why are you running around without your disguise on?”

Paradiso gave a soft chitter. “How come you’re marching around in armor with a giant lizard?” She retorted, though without hostility.

Dib bit his lip. She deserved to know. “My daughter is missing escorpión verde. I suspect foul play. Whoever it is, shall be taught a lesson.” He said, his voice dangerously low.

Paradiso gave a furious shriek. “mY TWIN.” She yowled.

“I thought they caught you and Nightmare too. Tell me, is he okay?” Dib asked, concerned that Paradiso might be overwhelmed by this new information.

“Of course he is!” Paradiso snapped. “Now show me where my twin was taken! I shall rip apart all who stand in my way.” She hissed.

“Whoa! Paradiso, I don’t think it’s safe for you to come with me. This could turn out to be a very bad situation. I don’t want to put you in that kind of danger. Your brother would never forgive me.”

Nebula grumbled in the background as if to agree with Dib’s statement.

“Me and my brother are living weapons. Try and stop me.” She growled.

Dib opened his mouth to argue, but he really didn’t have time for this, so instead he nodded solemnly.

“Fine.” He growled. “Let me collect my weapon and we can go storm the fucking castle.” His voice was shaking in rage.

Dib marched into the base and returned, wielding The DayBreaker.

“Let’s go get my daughter back.”

[ravipanikking]

A Very Camsten Christmas

A/N: MERRY (belated) CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY WONDERUFL FRIEND @xoheatherkw! I was your Secret Santa for the @stitcherssecretsanta2018​ and I’m sooo beyond happy that I was bc you are one of my oldest friends on here and in the Stitchers fam. I hope you have a very magical year full of happiness and growth! I’m sorry this is late but I hope you enjoy this little gift! ILYSFM HONEY<33333

For the millionth time that day, a cough escaped Cameron’s throat, making him feel worse than he already did. This was the worse day of his life. Okay, maybe not the worse because he’s had his fair share of days that were just flat a… doozy. Like those days when he had almost died. But most were when Kirsten had lost her memory. So he did technically did had it worse, but this...this had to be up there. Cameron Goodkin had prided himself in being very healthy and clean. Some would call him “neurotic” or “OCD” or “clean freak that needs to chill”-the last one being from Camille. But he had rarely been sick, so jokes were on them. 

He then sneezed for the 34th time. (He wasn’t counting or anything).

Okay, fine. The joke was technically on him now, he guessed. Damn his weak immune system. Because of his heart condition he had as a kid, Cameron could easily get ill. For most people they’d just get a cold or sinus infection, sometime the flu. But for Cameron he’d get not only the bad case of the flu, but a slew of other things. As a kid he went to the hospital a lot, even after his heart surgery. So as he got older, he became cleaner and cleaner to the point to where anything unclean freaked him out. It would just remind him of those dark days that he tried not to remember as he got older.

That all changed, however, when Cameron met Kirsten. (Like everything else in his life. For the better.)

He had known pretty quickly that he was in love with her. How could he not though? She was smart, beautiful, brave, and so, so much more. And caring. Even when she had her Temporal Dysplasia, where it was hard for her to have emotions, Cameron could tell she cared. And it always tugged at his heart every time she got so passionate about the person she was stitching, feeling what they had felt. To this day it still amazed him. She amazed him. And she had also inspired him to be brave. Which was why on that day during the first year they had known each other, he conquered his fear of dying and stabbed himself with that fateful syringe.

Now, four years later, Cameron could handle hospitals again. Being in the Stitchers program you kinda had to get used to them. Now did Cameron still hate hospitals and being sick and injured still? Frack yes. And he sure as hell hated his latest visit the day prior. Being stuck there for two days was no fun. (He’d much rather deal with crazy murder investigations and government conspiracies.) However, now he was at home with the love of his life, still feeling like the trash in the Deathstar’s garbage compactor, but at least he was home with Kirsten. Cameron had realized pretty early on that as long as he had Kirsten, he could handle anything.

Cameron just wished that he didn’t have to be sick on Christmas. Mostly for Kirsten. Since Kirsten had reunited with her mom and got all her memories back, she had discovered that Christmas was her family’s favorite time of year. She had kept on smiling the more she told Cameron all the fun stories. This was her first Christmas with her mom and Kirsten had been determined to make it the best Christmas, which surprised everyone except for Cameron. It had been hard getting used to having her mom in her life and it seemed like they bonded the most when they reminisced on those happy memories. So of course Kirsten wanted to recreate them again. And so they went all out. Kirsten decorated both hers and Cameron’s places, even buying two trees. Cameron was more of Hanukkah man himself since his best memories were celebrating it every night with his grandmother, but he wanted Kirsten feel the happiest she had ever been so he enjoyed doing those traditions with her. So much so that he decided to give her a big Christmas present.

But now, on Christmas Day itself, it all was ruined because his immune system was the worst.

A knock then came at his bedroom’s opened door, making him lift his head to see Kirsten walking in holding a tray. “Hey babe, I got you soup and hot lemon water just as you like it.” She announced with a bright smile.

Cameron just grumbled, sinking further into his bed. “Why are you smiling? Christmas is ruined. I ruined Christmas!”

Kirsten rolled her eyes, walking over to him, placing the tray on his nightstand, and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Stop, being a baby, Baby. Christmas is not ruined.”

“But this was your first Christmas with your mom again. It was important.”

“It is important. Which was why Mom stopped by while you were asleep, bringing us food and presents. She stayed for a bit and we reminisced. It was nice.” She said with a soft smile. Her eyes then lit up. “Oh! And she gave me this.” Kirsten then grabbed what looked to be a locket around her neck and showed it to him. He sat to get a better look. She then opened it to reveal to pictures. One side was an older picture of a young Kirsten standing between her two parents in front of a Christmas tree, smiles on all of their faces. On the side of the locket was a newer photo, one Cameron recognized. It was of them two standing in the middle dressed as Betty and Jughead with the Stitchers family surrounding them at Camille’s Halloween party this past year. “It’s of my two families. Old and new.”

“It’s beautiful.” He whispered, heart tugging on the fact that both Kirsten and her mom saw that he and the Stitchers crew were also her family and just as important. Cameron then sighed. “Kirsten, you don’t have be here the entire day. You’ve been at my side for the past three days. You should go be with your family other than me today. I’ll be fine.”

“Hey.” Kirsten then placed both her hands on his shoulders. “Listen to me. Cameron Goodkin, you are my family also. There’s no other place I’d rather be than by your side.”

Cameron hitched his breath, chest tightening at her words. “But...Christmas.”

She shook her head with an amused smile on her face, “Cameron, this entire Christmas season has been the best. I’ve got to spend it with my mom again. My mom. But also I got to spent with you and my new family. We went ice skating, decorated together, and I got to bake gingerbread with my mom. We even got to have Christmas party with everyone there. I swear I was living a freaking Hallmark Christmas movie or something.”

They both chuckled.

Cameron then rubbed his thumb on Kirsten’s shoulder. “So you really don’t mind taking care of me on Christmas day?”

She shook her head. “Absolutely not. Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“When I saw you sleeping in the hospital room, I was immediately reminded of when you almost died trying to help me. That was one of  the most terrified moments of my life, Cameron. And it still haunts me to this day. So seeing you in the same hospital, I was so worried. But then last night when they said that you could go home just in time for Christmas, I was beyond relieved. And now I get to spend the holiday with the man I love, even if you’re in bed rest. Because, no matter where you are, I want to be there with you.. Besides, isn’t Christmas supposed to be about love, happiness, and home? Cameron Goodkin, you are all of that to me.”

Cameron just stared at her, so filled with love he couldn’t take it.

After he didn’t respond, Kirsten turned her head away. “That was lame, I know.”

“No!” He exclaimed. He then touched her cheek and pulled her head back toward him. Her beautiful eyes met his. “Kirsten, you amaze me every day of my life. I am never bored with you at your side and you make me the happiest I have ever been in my life.” The words then flew out before he could think. “Kirsten, will you marry me?”

Her eyes widened in shock. “What?” She breathed out.

For a parsec of a moment, Cameron had the thought to quickly pretend that he was just messing with her or something. But no. He was always brave with her and so he would be the bravest he had ever been.

Cameron then took both of Kirsten’s within hers, taking a breath before releasing it, and then said, “This isn’t how I planned to do this, but in our line of work things rarely go as planned. Why is this any different, amiright?” He then laughed nervously before clearing his throat and continuing. “Kirsten, you know how much I love you. I’ve loved you since you told me “Blue Door Sepulveda” and then called me Julie before giving me the best kiss I ever had prior to that moment. Even though it was still weird since you didn’t remember for a while.”

This made Kirsten laugh, tears falling down her face. He then moved his left hand away from hers and lifted it to wipe the tears away.

He continued, “I’ve always loved you. No matter what you were going through or feeling or not feeling. My love for you just grew and grew. And it continues to grow everyday. Kirsten, when you lost your memories of me I…” He swallowed then grabbed her hand he was still holding and placed it on top of his heart before continuing, “My heart didn’t just hurt. It felt hollow. And so when you remembered me, remembered us again, I was so incredibly happy that on a whim I bought you a ring. But we were just getting back together and you were getting to know your mom, so I decided to wait for a while. And then when I saw how happy the Holidays made you, I decided that Christmas would be perfect. And even though my plans for it changed and I right now I feel like I’m dying, I can’t wait any longer.” Then with his free hand, Cameron reached into his pajama pocket and grabbed the small, velvet box, pulling it out. He then opened to it to reveal a diamond ring with sapphire stones on the side. “ Kirsten Clark Stinger, will you be the Leia to my Han and marry me?”

“Yes!” She then rushed to kiss him, but he moved away from her.

“I don’t want to get you sick.”

Kirsten then gave him a deathly glare. “Cameron, if you don’t let me kiss you I swear-”

But before she could finish, Cameron placed his lips against on hers.

It probably wasn’t technically one of their best kisses since his lips were chapped and he was sweating, but to Cameron this was the best kiss he had ever had. After the best moments of his life, they slightly parted until their foreheads were against each other.

Kirsten then gave him the brightest smile he had ever seen. “Best. Christmas. Ever.”

Cameron laughed and then kissed her again. He took his earlier sentiments back. Instead of the worst day of his life, this was the best day of his life and he planned to have many more of them with Kirsten.

[mothmansmilkman]

Big ol Information Sheet About My JJBA Part 5 OC That I Love (AKA I know im the only one who cares about this but i gotta put my self-indulgent shit SOMEWHERE)

TW for weapons, child abuse and endangerment, and other canon-typical Jojo stuff 

Name: Rio (last name unknown)

Stand: White Room

Age: Unknown, but assumed to be 14 (celebrates the day she was discovered after her attempted murder like a birthday)

Height: 5′2″

Favorite Food: Cherry pastries

Favorite Movie: The Little Mermaid

Favorite Band: Nirvana

BACKSTORY

Rio doesn't remember much about her childhood, but she remembers living in a house with a loving mother and father.

Her life was changed one night when she was 4 years old. As her mother layed her in her bed, she told Rio that no matter what she heard downstairs to not scream or go down there.

A terrified Rio heard the sounds of her parents being murdered hours later. As the perpetrator was searching the house, he discovered Rio huddled in her bed. But, instead of killing her along with the rest of her family, he decided to kidnap her.

For years, Rio was kept a slave in that person's house. Only hearing of the outside world through TV, radio, and overhearing conversations between houseguests, she had begun to have fantasies of what the world outside the house must be like.

She would find out on the day she was murdered. In the middle of the night, her kidnapper took Rio to an alley armed with a Stand Arrow. Since a Stand Arrow leaves no visible wound after the act, he assumed that Rio would die and whoever found her body would assume she was a runaway that died from malnutrition or something.

However, Rio awoke hours after having the arrow stabbed into her abdomen. But strangely, the alley she remembered being in had changed into a pink castle. With the small bits of knowledge she had, she just thought to herself "I must be dead. So this must be what heaven looks like..." and went back to sleep. 

Now Here’s Where We Get Self-Insert-y!

I’d like to imagine if Rio would end up in any of the canon Vento Aureo groups, she would be in La Squadra because 

1. I want to see these dudes dealing with a literal child

2. There’s a line in the song White Room “She was kindness in the hard crowd” and I like when the musical references tie in to the character’s personality. 

At the time of Rio being discovered, I personally headcanon that La Squadra wasn’t fully formed, and the only members being there were Risotto, Sorbet, Gelato, Formaggio, Proscuitto, and Melone. (Illuso, Pesci, and Ghiacchio would be the more recent members) (Sorry if all this is wrong, i havent actually read the manga ;_;)

Anyway, one of the members would be concerned about a pink castle being where a pink castle would not usually be. And they would be more concerned when no one else on the street even payed attention to it, as if it wasn’t there. But, as if the Stand knew someone was there, a door appeared on the castle’s wall. Hesitantly, they opened the door, ready for a battle. 

...instead, they saw a disheveled, malnourished, young girl curled up on the dirty ground. When she opened her eyes and stared up at him, she finally spoke. 

“God? ...how long have I been dead?”

Eventually, the gangster would take Rio to their home and ask for her story. The original plan was to let the child take a bath, have a meal, and then take her to an orphanage. However, certain details made the gangster feel more pity, like how Rio didn’t know enough about her past to remember her own last name or birthday. But, as soon as she described her “death” via a gold arrow, the assassin realized something bigger. 

If someone had access to a Stand Arrow, there was a chance they were part of Passione. It would be dangerous to leave Rio alone. This would eventually (after explaining the situation to Risotto), lead to Rio becoming a resident of the La Squadra safehouse. 

Life With La Squadra

Rio would be hesitant at first to ask La Squadra for anything. Not just because they’re intimidating criminals, but because she was already grateful for everything they had done for her. They saved her life, but also bought her clothes and things a kid would need. They also figured out that she was probably 10 years old. Her only request upon being given permission to live in the safehouse was that she would be taught how to read. 

As time passed, the walls, both mental and physical (White Room’s fault for the physical ones), between Rio and the other members began to fall. She had begun to view every member as a father figure, even referring to them as “Papa [name]”. 

Learning to read also showed the members that Rio was intelligent along with being kind. She had developed a habit of checking out books from the city’s library and copying the text by hand into a notebook as she read it, giving her a copy of her own. While she enjoyed children’s books, she enjoyed non-fiction even more, because it gave her more information about the outside world. 

The other members would actually be happy to take Rio out in public when they weren’t on missions. (Especially Formaggio because hed act like she was his real daughter to try and look like a dilf) It would always be entertaining to go from having an intelligent conversation with a booksmart 10 year old to watching them get excited over ice cream or a big teddy bear. 

Rio’s favorite things to collect would be stuffed animals and warm blankets. Also books, but she copies hers from the library, so she feels no reason to want to buy any. 

Despite being happy and calm most of the time, Rio still has trauma from her past. Certain triggers will suddenly end up with White Room suddenly appearing around Rio, with the memory in question being displayed on the walls for all of the members near her to see. When White Room fades, Rio has usually started crying, and needs a few minutes before she can speak again. 

When Rio eventually started copying medical textbooks, she asked (because no one hid the fact that La Squadra killed people) if they could bring a corpse back so she could dissect a body herself. Sorbet and Gelato would be the only ones to say yes, and actually follow through. 

Rio eventually learns about Christmas. On her first December 25th with the gang, she gives everyone a knife painted in their favorite color. 

Since I headcanon Pesci and Ghiacchio as the youngest of the La Squadra boys, Rio would call them her Big Brothers. 

White Room

The whole time she’s with La Squadra, Rio has been training White Room. Eventually, she learned her stand has 3 abilities:

1. It can create a room.

2. It can manipulate the room. The size, the color, etc. She can even display her own thoughts onto the walls. 

3. If she understands something completely, she can create a copy of it that only exists inside the room. 

Rio realizes she can use her stand for killing was when she was 11. A stranger trying to rob her while she was running an errand alone brought up a fight-or-flight reaction, leading to White Room crushing the attacker as if they were inside a trash compactor. 

When Rio learns that she can copy items that she understands, the first thing she asks is to learn how a gun works. The rest of La Squadra had known she would end up as part of Passione someday, because honestly they couldn’t see her having anywhere else to go, but they were wary of letting her join THEIR part of Passione since there was a very high likelihood of death. However, Rio quickly learned the ins and outs of weapons. She proved herself to be worthy as a member of La Squadra when she completed a mission, killing a man by slitting his throat with a knife created by White Room. At 11 and a half years old (possibly because no one really knows how old she is), she became the youngest official member of Passione at the time (and possibly youngest ever). 

Rio prefers to work with her father figures on missions rather than work alone. Her strategy is to secure the perimeter of the area with White Room, so the target can’t escape and no one else can enter. Then, she waits with a sniper rifle. She wants to have her papas and brothers backs, and act as support in their battles. It makes her feel like she’s returning the support they always gave her. 

How Rio Would End Up In The Events of Vento Aureo

Rio would be 12 years old when Sorbet and Gelato die. As the picture frames were being opened, she would recognize a body part as something she saw in a medical book. 

The realization that it was her Papa Sorbet’s body would click in her mind, but she’d refuse to believe it. As the members of the team place the frames in order, they all start to regret letting Rio be in the same room. 

She later gets the news of Gelato’s death. 

Rio openly weeps at the funeral. This was the first time her heart ever truly felt broken, since she wasn’t old enough when her real parents died to really remember them. It takes Rio a while to start acting like her old self again. Like the rest of La Squadra, she never forgives the Boss for this. Despite feeling anger when Risotto told the gang to just “Forget about Sorbet and Gelato”, she understood that any act of revenge that wasn’t thoroughly planned out would make her or worse, more of her papas and brothers to suffer the same fate. 

AU Where Bucci Gang and La Squadra Team Up Because That’s What I Wish Would’ve Happened (Also i just dont want to write Rio dying like they do in canon)

Seriously tho if Giorno or maybe buccellati would've gone on the shopping trip this au probably wouldve happened

Rio would be 14 at the time Giorno happened and the events of Vento Aureo took place. 

Rio would love having people closer to her age around. I imagine she'd become friends with Narancia and Fugo (because Narancia can have fun and can give her the childhood fun she never had, and Fugo because finally someone with brain cells). I imagine she’d see one of their study sessions one day and just join. 

Tbh Trish and Rio need each other. They need other girls in their lives.

Rio is okay with Mista, but likes Sex Pistols more. Buccellati wishes it wasnt too late for him to adopt her

If the boat scene would still happen in this AU, I think Rio would go with Fugo. It's not that she's scared of fighting the Boss, it's because La Squadra doesn't know if they can handle her dying at such a young age. They tell Fugo that if he's leaving, to take Rio with him in order to track down any possible living relatives (or anyone who could possibly know Rio's true identity)

Before they leave, Rio tells the group to find her again when they come back. She had faith that with their numbers and combined abilities, the 2 gangs could take down whatever was in their path. Sadly, when Giorno reaches out after the events of VA, only a few survived.

Rio would, of course, end up joining Passione again like in Purple Haze Feedback. This last image is a design of an older Rio (maybe age 16-18)

[undergroundeconomist]

Recycling After “National Sword”

First off, note that I am by no means a recycling expert. These are just the opinions of a random upper middle class white dude in the SF Bay Area, because just what the world needs is more opinions of random white dudes.

China is apparently going to be taking less of our recyclables. Predictably, California is looking to education & enforcement to reduce the amount of contamination in recycle bins.

But it seems to me that the entire practice of having people separate their garbage on the honor system and with little feedback, much less enforcement, is flawed. Sure, we can put stickers all over cans and send out refrigerator magnets, but that can only go so far. People don’t want to accept that a huge fraction of the stuff they bring home isn’t recyclable. Plus, we’ve taught people not to “waste” water, so they’ll never rinse their food containers sufficiently.

To the extent that increased education, feedback, and enforcement does make people realize how little of what they bring home is recyclable and how much of a pain it is to clean recyclable containers, it will create some market pressure to reduce packaging. Some people who have been “on the fence” will even stop buying bottled water. But people who care enough to inconvenience themselves are a minority. The rest will just buy trash compactors so they don’t have to pay for bigger trash bins. Or worse, they’ll dump even more of their extra trash out in the countryside than they already do.

Since litter and pollution are externalities, why not simply internalize their costs through taxes on the things that create them? A carbon tax would reduce the use of plastic. Increased container deposits would reduce their use further while also increasing the chance that they’ll be recycled. Such an increase could even make that hated bottled water uneconomic. “Trash taxes” on any other goods sold in the state could go to pay not just for free or very cheap landfills, but for on-site separation of recyclables, making separate containers unnecessary. It would also create jobs, since automated separation is still pretty abysmal.

In general, I’m not super keen on taxes or relying on the government to “create jobs”, but I’m also not super keen on litter, pollution, and anthropogenic climate change. I’d much prefer a simple, transparent solution like this to a system that puts all of the burden on the most conscientious while encouraging those who don’t give a shit to literally dump their garbage on the rest of us.

You can reply to this post on Mastodon, at least for the next 4 weeks.

[mikaila-orchard]

And because I’m the kinda gal who knows how to use her time wisely, here’s my idea for an official Sonic/MLP crossover.

Discord is bored one day.

He decides to pass the time by watching Rainbow Dash race someone fast, but there’s no one in Equestria who could really push her to her limit.  As such he looks into other dimensions.

He finds Sonic’s universe and notes how fast the blue hedgehog is, discreetly plucking him out of his world and into Equestria.  The two meet and inevitably, they race.

However, Sonic was in the middle of a scuff with Dr. Eggman when he suddenly vanished.  Eggman, knowing that his hated enemy just disappearing was too good to be true, finds a way to track where we vanished to and ends up in Equestria.

With a skeleton crew of mechs (and Metal Sonic) at his command, they start scanning the immediate area and find a power source going off the charts.  The Tree of Harmony. Seeing it as a potential tool for his global conquest, Eggman begins to unroot the tree to take it back to his world.

Since Twilight’s castle is connected to the tree, it being unearthed caused the castle to collapse.  Twilight understands this means the Tree is in trouble so she tells Spike to get the others while she and Starlight teleport on ahead to see what’s wrong.

They confront Eggman before he returns to his world and he sends Metal Sonic against them.  They fair pretty well, but a sneak attack from Eggman knocks them both out.  He sees that one of the elements on the tree matches Twilight’s cutie mark, so he takes her back to his world.

Rainbow’s race with Sonic is cut short as her friends flag her down on their 100th lap through ponyville.  They tell her something is wrong when Starlight appears to them injured and distressed.  She tells them a human with mechanical minions took both the tree and Twilight.  Sonic, nearby when this is happening gathers that it was Eggman, who must have followed him to this world.  He apologizes for this and promises that he’ll take down Eggman down and bring them back.  Rainbow, not satisfied with doing nothing while her friend is in danger, demand’s to come back to Sonic’s world to help rescue her, the rest of the mane 6 following suit.

They go to Celestia, Luna, and Cadence who manage to create a portal to Sonic’s world using him as a conduit.  The princesses themselves must stay behind because, without the tree, Equestria is vulnerable and will need protection before this is over. Sonic, the Mane 5, Spike and Starlight all go to his world, where they meet up with Tails, Knuckles, and Amy. Sonic tells them what’s going on and soon after, Silver shows up. The timeline is in flux due to the actions of the present, endangering the future of both worlds. As such, both teams of heroes prepare to storm Eggman’s base.

Inside said base, Eggman is grilling Twilight for information regarding how the Tree of Harmony works. She refuses to talk, seeing as Eggman couldn’t even harness it’s power even if she did. Frustrated, Eggman decides that he’ll just roboticize Twilight so she’ll have to tell him, and leaves to go prepare for it. Inside his command center, Eggman exposites to himself about his plan to conquer the world with the tree’s power when one of his robots shoots him in the back.

It’s revealed to be Queen Chrysalis, who assumed the form of one of his robots in the confusion of the fight between Twilight, Starlight, and Metal.  Eggman, wounded but alive commands his robots to attack, but Chrysalis turns into Eggman and tells them to stand down, before knocking the real Eggman out with another magic blast.  She has the robots toss him down the garbage chute as she assumes control of his entire empire.

Meanwhile, Twilight is trying to find a way out of her prison when she’s met by Rouge the Bat.  She was doing recon in Eggman’s base when she overheard his interrogation of the princess.  She breaks Twilight out, who tells them they have to save the tree, but Rogue says they defenses would likely vaporize them before they got anywhere near the tree.  Twilight begrudgingly agrees to withdraw with Rouge so they can come back with reinforcements and they meet up with their ride, Shadow, and E-123 Omega.  They take her back to G.U.N. HQ where she explains the situation.

G.U.N. Commander Abraham Tower sees the situation is dire and commands Team Dark to take Twilight and meet up with Sonic and his friends.  They do so, incidentally reuiniting Twilight with her own friends.  After hugs are had and tears are shed, they get their game faces on and get ready to storm Eggman’s base.

Chrysalis, still disguised as Eggman, is frustrated with her inability to harness the tree’s power.  Orbot, Eggman’s advisor, suggests that instead of harnassing the Tree’s power directly, they just drain it, converting it into power they can use. Chrysalis likes this and tells them to make it so when the heroes suddenly attack.

The real Eggman meanwhile is able to pull himself out of the trash compactor and back to his command center thanks to the contingency protocols he placed on all his bases in case any of his forces went rogue.  He confronts Chrysalis, this time prepared, but sees that the base is under attack.  He admits he’s impressed by how she managed to so easily infiltrate and assume control of his base and offers an alliance to dispose of their enemies.  She agrees and they get to work.  As the Tree is being drained, they manage to modify Metal Sonic to emulate Chrysalis’ shapeshifting powers. Coupled with his ability to copy the data of any fighter, he now can perfectly mimic any opponent he faces.

As the heroes chew through Eggman’s defenses, they encounter Metal who starts to change into each of the heroes as they fight, even the Mane 6.  He gets a few licks on them, but they manage to throw him off by combining their attacks.  Pinkie shooting Sonic out of a party cannon, Twilight powering up Amy’s hammer with magic, Silver reinforcing Applejacks’ lasso with psychokinesis, etc.  Soon enough, they defeat Metal, but not before Eggman and Chrysalis show up.  Both of them are wearing mech suits fueled by the now drained Tree of Harmony.

The two of them start smacking the heroes around some, things looking bleak.  Twilight is especially distraught as she sees the lifeless tree withered away.  Sonic tells them not to give up and that there’s always a way for them to prevail.  His words of encouragement reinvigorate the heroes and the tree begins to glow slightly.  Twilight realizes that they may have drained the Tree’s magic but they still had the most powerful magic of all, friendship.  The power of their friendship now made stronger by the new friends they made, brings the tree back to life and bestows the mane 6 and Sonic’s gang with the power of the elements. Rainbow and Sonic are Loyalty and Bravery. Applejack and Knuckles are Honesty and Strength. Pinkie and Silver are Laughter and Hope. Fluttershy and Tails are Kindness and Healing, Rarity and Amy are Generosity and Beauty. Twilight and Shadow are Magic and Sorcery.  With their newfound power, they’re able to defeat Eggman and Chrysalis and return the Tree to where it belonged.

With the day saved, the heroes agree it’s time to part ways, but not before a party to celebrate their victory (upon Pinkie’s request. Twilight happily proclaims that the magic of friendship spans across worlds and Sonic jokingly says in their world they refer to it as the superpower of teamwork.  Just before they return to Equestria, Sonic reminds Rainbow that they never finished their race.  Rainbow promises they’ll have a do-over someday. 

As the story ends it’s revealed that Discord and Tikal had been watching the whole time.  Tikal notes that in spite of the havoc that was caused by Discord’s meddling, unbreakable bonds were forged by the hero’s victory.  Discord smiles and says that was all part of the plan.

[mellicose]

Kilgrave, beef Wellington, smut

He was shopping in Soho when he saw her.

He followed her from an artisanal ice cream shoppe to a upscale thrift store. He tried to hide amongst the detritus, but his Alexander McQueen three-piece suit made him stick out like a very healthy thumb on a very sore hand.

She made eye contact with him over the denim rack. They were kind. His groin tingled. Kind was the equivalent of a flavor to him, like melted marshmallow. It was a flavor he had liked better as a boy, for different reasons. Kind meant making him dinner after he had barked his still inexperienced, not yet formed desires at her. Kind meant a cuddle, without him even having to say.

He had not savored kind in too long.

“I’m hungry. Feed me,” he said when they made eye contact again. She blinked, confused for a second or two, then she smiled. One of her canines was slightly crooked. He sighed. The imperfection sharpened his appetite.

“Come on. My place is only three blocks from here.”

He looked down at his new Gucci slippers and sucked his teeth.

“We’re taking a cab.”

“Of course,” she said, and hailed one with a grace that made him giggle.

She took off her knit cap as soon as they got in the car, and her hair was auburn. A natural auburn, streaked with burnished gold.

“You look brindle,” he said.

She smiled. “My dad used to tell me the same thing,” she said. The warmth in her eyes was not manufactured, but he craved heat.

“I am not your father,” he said.

“No,” she said. The cab stopped in front of a dirty building and they got out. She lived on the first floor, in a very large apartment. In fact, the whole floor was her apartment. His craving grew.

She walked into her spacious kitchen - more a pool of tasteful reclaimed wood counters in the large open space of her living room - and put on an apron.

“I make a pretty good tortilla,” she said, referring to the Spanish egg and potato omelette. “I’ve got fresh eggs from the farmer’s market.”

He was looking at the art hung on her walls. It didn’t look cheap. He made a face and waved his hand.

“No eggs. It’s way past breakfast,” he said. “I want …” he thought of pink, tender meat, still bleeding in the middle. “Beef wellington. Make it for me.”

She looked puzzled. “I don’t know what that is,” she said.

“It’s a filet of beef, covered in a savory mustard sauce and cooked au point in a pastry shell,” he said, walking to her with his hands studiously behind his back.

“I don’t know how to make that,” she said. She put her hands on the counter, and she looked troubled, since she realized she could not follow his command. Her large, grey eyes filled with water that spilled down her cheeks.

He pulled her to him and licked her tears, moaning softly. She stiffened in his arms, and tried to push him away.

He held her. “You are offering me a drink, darling,” he said firmly. Her breathing slowed. She was so firm underneath all the deplorable thriftstore horse shit. His cock stirred as he followed the trail of a tear to the outer corner of her eye.

“Keep them coming,” he whispered. “You’ll soon be crying real ones anyway.”

She burst into tears, clinging to him, face upturned. Tears gathered underneath her eyes, and he licked them off slowly. That salt made him crave another.

“Are you clean?” he said simply. She knew what he meant.

“Yes,” she said, and sniffled.

“Take off all your clothes and throw them in the garbage,” he said. She stripped down to nudity and stuffed her clothes in a trash compactor. Her body was young and tight. There were dark rose marks around her ribcage from her bra that made him lick the edges of his teeth. Her hair below was a paler auburn.

“You look delicious,” he said, taking off his jacket and tie. He didn’t want to get anything on it. “Get on the counter.”

She climbed on. She did not weep, but tears still dripped off her chin.

“Are you frightened?” he said as he rolled up his sleeves. His cock pressed uncomfortably against his tight suit pants. He undid them, letting them drop to his ankles. His cock strained the burgundy silk of his underwear. Her eyes widened and her breathing quickened.

“Yes,” she said. He noticed the darkening pink of her swollen nipples, and the fact she spread her legs when she saw his erection.

“Does fear make you wet, really?” he asked, and moved her hand to his cock. She squeezed, without being told.

“Yes,” she said. His eyebrow rose as she reached inside his underwear and cupped his balls. Her tears dripped on his forearm. She sighed and bit her lip. “Heavy,” she said. He gasped.

“Why are you touching me?” he asked. Her fingers caressed very softly up his shaft. She wanted to feel him pulse.

“It has been five months since I’ve gotten cock. You followed me into the thrift store. I saw. I want you to fuck me.”

Now both eyebrows rose.

“Stop the tears,” he said. Her eyes dried. She slid off the counter and pressed her body against him as she pulled his underwear down. His cock pressed against her firm belly and she stroked it slowly. It slid on her skin with his precum, and she rubbed the oversensitive tip into a widening circle that got closer and closer to her cunt.

“Are you frightened?” he asked again. “Tell me the truth!” He pulled painfully on a swollen nipple. She moaned, but did not try to slap his hands away.

“Yes,” she said again. She trembled as she said it, and she pushed his cock down between her thighs. It slid very easily on her copious wetness. Her heat made him hiss. He pressed her against the counter and ground on her cleft. Her grey eyes grew darker, became slits with lust. She wrapped her leg around his hip and got on tip toes. The head of his cock caught against her opening. She bared her teeth. It was just for a split second, but it mystified him.

“You want me?” he said. It was not an order, but a question brought on by honest surprise. Still, she suddenly became more eager. She turned her back to him and pressed his cock into her seam.

“You’re wasting time,” she said. “You nervous?” He couldn’t tell whether it was his question, or her. It pissed him off.

“I’ll give you what you want, when I want to,” he said between his teeth. He reached around to squeeze her breasts, and she chuckled.

“Fuck foreplay. Didn’t you hear me? It’s been five months,” she said, dragging out the last word into a lusty wail. “Dick me down, purple man.” She wiggled her ass and got on tiptoes.

“Jesus, you’re aggressive,” he said, then winced. He was thinking aloud. She turned around, sat on the counter, and pulled him into her all in one smooth movement. She grabbed his hips and fucked into him, grunting and panting. There was a look of febrile passion on her face. He was speechless and still, and she didn’t care. She rubbed herself against him from cheek to thigh, digging her fingers into his ass.

“Do it harder,” she said, and raked her fingers up his back. “Or are you frightened?”

He couldn’t believe her. This little American twat-

He pushed her down hard and lifted her legs and spread them wide. She was very frightened. Very wet.

He rammed into her, expecting her to squeal, but she held tight to the counter and parried each thrust with a vigor that made him sweat. He wasn’t small - this he knew from asking women for the truth - but she was game. Her cunt sucked hungrily at his cock, and her clit was a eager little button right above it. He had not tasted that salt. He wanted to suck.

He got on his knees and buried his mouth in her pussy, sucking and licking blindly. She pulled his dark hair.

“Suck properly, or fuck me.”

He hadn’t been doing it for her pleasure, and he rolled his eyes.

She rolled hers right back. “Useless,” she said underneath her breath.

A hot flash of anger made him want to slap her until she cried for real, but this time, the thought only softened him. Apparently, he really wanted her.

He wanted her to suck properly? Fine. He licked her from her opening to right underneath her bud, pressing into it firmly with the tip of his tongue. She gasped. He licked very short, firm strokes right underneath her pulsing bud as he brushed his top lip over it, just barely.

She cursed, and her thighs began to tremble. He slid a finger inside her and curled it, and started to move it inside her. Hard fingering, and a soft, light tongue. Fresh wetness soon slicked his knuckle.

Her fingers raked through his hair. He licked a circle around her throbbing bud, making sure to breathe his warm breath on it. She shivered. Again, he licked just underneath, so she felt the heat of his mouth. He added another finger. She twitched around them and groaned.

“Stop teasing,” she said, but the bluster had left her voice.

He chuckled and very lightly rubbed his bottom lip against her bud. Again, she twitched around his fingers. He pressed into her firmly, deep inside her, and she arched, and her hot little button was all the way in his mouth. His anger snapped, and he licked her, hungrily, wondering how big he could suck her clit before she came -

But she was too close. She clamped her thighs around his head and ground out her orgasm, pulsing on his tongue.

She lay on the counter, flushed and happy, and it irritated him.

“Get on your knees.” She obeyed quickly and tried to take him into her mouth, but he slapped her. “No.”

He took a handful of her auburn hair and slid his pussyslick fingers in her mouth. She gagged and tried to pull away. He slapped her again.

“Be still, and relax your throat.” She sighed and opened wide. “Good.”

He pressed his cock past her lips, and in her mouth. She was hot and slick, and he worked his way deeper with each thrust, until her throat muscles fluttered around the head of his cock. She curled beneath him, but her hands were claws on his hips, urging him on.

“Don’t you dare vomit!” he said, tugging on her hair. She moaned, and her tongue undulated on him.

Good. He pressed her against the cabinets and fucked her mouth hard and rough. Every time her muscles seized and she groaned into his flesh, he shivered. He looked over her apartment. The furniture was bespoke, and the appointments were tastefully chosen. The light was perfect. It looked quite cozy. Her hand moved between the lobes of his ass, and she pressed a fingertip into his hole. For a second, he tightened, but then decided against it. She knew what she was doing. Soon, a deep, delicious pleasure emanated from where she pressed her expert finger. He felt his come moving, slow as sap, up his shaft.

He pulled out and burst on her face. Her lips and nose dripped with him. She looked up at him with a look of dumb adoration, her hands still caressing his hips.

“You like that, did you?” he said, rubbing his still half-hard cock against her cheeks, spreading himself on her skin.

“I want more,” she said, licking her lips, then him.

He didn’t tell her to say that. She was a naughty one. He decided to play a game.

“I’ve got so much I can show you. Would you like me to stay?” He worded it carefully, to be sure.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Take anything you like. Just show me.”

He smiled. He could really like her.

[fishdavidson]

Dream Journal 2017-10-13: Alligator Fights And Wizard Towers

Guess who fell asleep at a reasonable hour (for old people) and has some dreams to show for it! I CAN NO LONGER WAIT FOR YOUR GUESS! THE ANSWER IS MEEEEE! I HAD THE DREAMS!

Alligator Fights

The first dream of the evening took place in a vacation home on the edge of a swamp. I was outside and standing near the edge of the swamp, skipping stones across the dark surface of the water. In real life, my max high score for skipping stones is about 5 skips. But I found The Ultimate Skipping Stone (tm) and knew that this one would be way better.

My brother was climbing a tree nearby, so I yelled at him to come watch me accumulate an unreasonable number of skips with this awesome rock. The rock leaves my hand, skipping at least a dozen times until it all but disappears into the distance. I can still hear the rock skipping, and then I realize that the skipping stone has shifted directions like a boomerang and is now coming right back at me.

HOLY CRAP, GUYS! THAT’S AT LEAST LIKE TWO DOZEN SKIPS FROM THAT ROCK AND IT’S TOTALLY COMING BACK. THIS IS A GOOD DAY.

The rock doesn’t quite make it back to the shore, though, and sinks below the surface just a few feet from the bank. I want this rock back badly enough that I wade out into the water to retrieve it. My brother follows suit, hoping that he can find an awesome rock of his own.

Here’s where things go sideways.

My brother grabs a stick from the surface of water. Only it’s not a stick. It’s the tail of an alligator, who is none to pleased at having been disturbed. The alligator lunges at my brother, but my brother is quick enough to avoid getting chomped. Unfortunately, my brother isn’t quick enough to avoid getting pinned, and he’s now only a few moments away from losing his face to a bunch of gnashing teeth.

BUT LUCKILY, I, FISH DAVIDSON, CAN SAVE HIM IF I ACT QUICKLY!

Dream logic kicks in. A rusty and cheap pocket knife that I once got as a gift years ago materializes in my hand. I charge toward the alligator and brandish the knife in a threatening manner. Soon I am engaged in a loud and violent bout of hillbilly machismo.

My arms are now locked around the alligator and I’m wrasslin’ it. The gator’s struggling, and I’m doing my best stabby-stabby motions. The alligator falls victim to my effective use of a blade. My brother crawls out from underneath its body, and we both agree to not tell our parents about almost dying in a swamp. It’s best that they don’t know.

Wizarding Expedition

For the second dream of the evening, I discover that some of my not-terribly-close friends are sea witches. In the parlance of Dungeons and Dragons, they are considered “high-level characters.” They have legitimate magical powers and would be fearsome foes in combat were it not for one thing:

They practice what is called Ultra Jainism. Regular Jainism is all about non-violence, truth, and vegetarianism; and it’s totally a real religion. But Ultra Jainism is not a real religion. In order to be an Ultra Jainist, you have to have magical powers that are capable of producing food. Going vegan isn’t enough for Ultra Jainists, because the act of killing plants (even for food) is wrong. All food must be produced through magical means.

When last I spoke to this group of friends, they were just regular people without magical powers. I had drifted apart from them to pursue my own magical aspirations of being a wizard, but I wasn’t getting very far because I didn’t have a teacher and also because I suffer from inherent laziness. But once I figured out that some of my friends are super powerful witches, I thought it would be good to party up with them and learn how to be a kick-ass wizard.

My friends agreed to teach me on one condition; I had to pass the intermediate wizard certification exam first. That test is only given in a single wizard tower in the middle of nowhere. It will likely require combat and quick thinking to even get to the tower. This is a fair trade for tutelage, in my opinion, so I set off for this tower in a distant land with a hired hand.

My traveling companion is a bard named Bardo von Bard-Bard (THAT’S HIS HONEST-TO-GOD REAL NAME). He’s always trying to make a quick buck and sell me magical items. But he doesn’t have any good stuff for me to use so I end up having to bum healing potions off him at a steep price markup. Also he kind of sucks as a bard, too, because the only song he knows is an off-key cover of “Wonderwall.”

But we eventually arrive at the tower in question, and I haven’t murdered my companion for singing “Wonderwall” on repeat. In order to get to the wizard to take the intermediate exam, all potential applicants must ascend the tower. Small problem, though. There aren’t any stairs or doors to get to the top.

In fact, the only way to get to the top (if you can’t fly) is to climb this giant contraption that looked like a trash compactor the size of a castle. The function of this device is quite clear: it’s designed to crush anyone who attempts to climb it without knowing the secret.

I start climbing anyway.

The crushing plates start to slowly descend as soon as I step foot on the contraption. I start freaking out and realize that I’ve made a huge mistake and that maybe I will never become a successful wizard.

But then a large bump forms in one of the plates that is just tall enough to prevent me from getting crushed. That’s when I realize that I know the secret, and it’s a pretty heavy-handed attempt at symbolism. Contemplating your failures will stop the plates from descending, but reflecting on what you’ve learned from that failure is the only way to make the bump grow that allows you to ascend to the next level.

GOOD THING I HAVE AMASSED QUITE A FEW FAILURES IN MY LIFE, BECAUSE THAT GAVE ME THE ABILITY TO MAKE IT TO THE TOP.

I would have to face the wizard test alone, but I was ready for it.

-----------

Header image created by fractal2cry on deviantart.

[placetobenation]

SmackDown on Fox Episode #10 SmackDown Episode # 1,059 Fayetteville, NC – Crown Coliseum 12/6/19

We open the show with a video highlighting everything that happened last week between Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt.  The Miz will be kicking off the show tonight. Miz talks about how he was supposed to have Daniel Bryan as his guest on Miz TV, however, nobody has heard from Bryan since The Fiend got a hold of him last week. The Miz says that while he still doesn’t like Bryan he realizes how much Bryan means to both the fans and the rest of the boys in the locker room, The Miz vows to find out what happened to Bryan.  Wyatt then appears on the screen and says that The Fiend may not be done with Bryan and that The Miz doesn’t want to know what The Fiend did to Bryan. Wyatt alludes that Bryan may not make it to TLC and asks Miz if he wants to play instead. Wyatt talks about how he used to have a family (as we see flashes of the Wyatt Family) but now he has a chance to join a new family as he holds up a picture of The Miz and his family. Wyatt then asks The Miz if he wants to play now as Miz marches up the ramp with a purpose and we go to commercial. As we come back from commercial we see The Miz talking to Maryse on the phone and telling her to lock up the house as Bray is unpredictable. Miz tells Maryse that he is leaving the arena immediately and will be headed home.  Match #1 Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville vs Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross As Alexa makes her way to the ring we see two giant 3D yellow heads that are supposed to be Alexa and Nikki that were equally cute and ridiculous looking. Also worth noting that Jessika Carr is refereeing this match and will now be a permanent member of SmackDown’s referee roster. The two women lock up and Alexa takes down Mandy and holds her down until Mandy throws her off and tells Alexa not to touch her face. Alexa gets out of a rear waist lock with a back elbow and a drop toe hold which causes Mandy to roll outside and take a powder. Mandy moves out of the way as Alexa attempts a baseball slide and then she nails Alexa with a bicycle knee strikes that she thankfully landed this week. Mandy slams the face of Alexa on the apron before rolling her back into the ring where she gets a 2 count on a pinfall attempt. Mandy grounds Alexa and then rubs her forearm across the face of Alexa. Mandy then removes Alexa’s eyelashes as the announcers freak out as if they had never seen fake eyelashes before.  Alexa tries to make a comeback but Mandy takes her down with a dropkick and then goes for a cover, but the referee won’t count as Mandy’s foot is outside the ring. Mandy looks to hit the Bed of Roses but Alexa blocks it and then turns an attempted bicycle knee into a roll-up that gets a 2 count. Mandy starts smacking Alexa around while talking trash and saying Alexa will never look like her, eventually, Alexa has had enough as she grabs Mandy by the throat. Alexa has a look on her face that reminds you why they call her the “5 Feet of Fury” as she slams Mandy to the mat. Alexa hits Mandy with a couple of nice right hands and follows up with a basement dropkick. Alexa steps onto Mandy’s body while she uses her foot to repeatedly bash Mandy’s face into the mat. Alexa hits the first part of Insult to Injury but then has to knock Sonya off the apron, Nikki takes care of Sonya with a crossbody off the steps. Mandy tries to pick up a win with an O’Connor roll but Alexa kicks out and then hits Mandy with a wrap-around DDT that didn’t look good at all as Mandy bumps a second before she is supposed to. Alexa goes up top and hits Twisted Bliss to pick up the win in her first match back. Winner: Alexa Bliss via Pinfall    Match Rating: ** First off, I declare this match to be known as “The Battle of the Buns”. It was great to see Alexa back and even better she is back as a 100% babyface (I know she was a babyface before she left but it feels more concrete now than it did then) although she has always been a babyface in my heart. I liked the eyelashes spot as it was something different and actually got the crowd into the match. I was glad to see Mandy hit the bicycle knee this week as that is one of my favorite moves and more times than not she is able to hit it with perfection. I’m curious what they have planned in the future for all four women in this match as it feels like this feud is just a holdover to get through the holidays and hopefully as the new year rolls around they have something bigger planned, but then again I wouldn’t be surprised if all four of them are in the battle royal at WrestleMania.   We go to the back where Drake Maverick approaches Dana Brooke once again and asks what Dave Bautista has that he doesn’t, this leads to Elias coming into the picture and singing a song about Drake not being able to get any nookie and then ends the song talking about Drake’s wife in his bed. Drake slaps Elias and then walks off.  As we come back from a commercial break Drake Maverick is in the ring and is tired of everyone making a mockery of him and his marriage, he wants to fight Elias. Elias comes out and as Maverick charges toward him, Elias is able to hold him off with one hand before bending him over his knee and giving him a spanking before literally kicking him in the butt and sending him out of the ring. Dana throws Maverick back into the ring and Elias hits him with the Drift Away, Dana comes in and puts her foot on Maverick’s chest while Elias counts to 3.

I honestly don’t know what to say about this segment other than why? I have to imagine this leads to a Batista appearance in the future, I could see a segment where Maverick convinces Batista to beat up Elias and then after he does that he turns around and takes out Maverick as well leading to Batista and Dana kissing in the middle of the ring. It’s either that or Maverick and Renee Michelle are revealed to be swingers and they swing with Dana and Batista, that sounds like a crazy idea but at the rate, WWE is going right now I wouldn’t be surprised.  We then go back to The Miz who is on his way out of the building when he is stopped in his tracks as out of the corner of his eye he sees a mysterious room with red lighting, as Miz enters the room he sees the same picture that Wyatt showed earlier only this time it was Bray in the picture instead of The Miz. Bray (who is in his Funhouse gear and not dressed as The Fiend) tells The Miz to say cheese and then lays him out with a Sister Abigail before singing a song about being home for the holidays.  I like how they have changed things up from what we expected as I’m sure everyone was expecting The Fiend vs Daniel Bryan at TLC but instead they were able to build a side feud with Wyatt vs Miz to get through the rest of the year so they can save the big rematch between Bray and Bryan for the Rumble. I like how they are involving Miz’s family in this as it gives the viewers some reason to want to see the match despite knowing for sure that Miz is not winning the match. The most noteworthy thing coming out of the interactions tonight between Miz and Wyatt was the fact that for the first time it was Wyatt attacking someone and not The Fiend, this is a new wrinkle to the story of Bray Wyatt and The Fiend that I am interested in seeing develop. As we come back from commercial we see a referee helping The Miz out as Miz wonders where the picture of his family went. We see the first of two plugs for Tribute to the Troops that they put on earlier that day and I assume will be shown on TV in the next couple of weeks.  New Day makes their way out as they will be on commentary for the next match where the winners will face New Day at TLC for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship. 

Match #2: Mustafa Ali & Shorty G vs Heavy Machinery vs Lucha House Party vs The Revival (4 Way Elimination Match) Shorty and Metalik start the match out with some nice chain wrestling before Shorty makes the tag to Ali. If the pace wasn’t quick enough already Ali and Metalik turned it up to max speed as they did a sequence where they were countering and dodging each other’s moves, the sequences ended with Metalik cartwheeling out of a running hurricanrana from Ali. Metalik tags in Dorado and then Tucker tags himself in. Tucker shows his agility by flipping over Dorado on a drop-down and then both men hit simultaneous dropkicks. Tucker and Dorado show respect to each other which draws the ire of The Revival who come in and are quickly taken down by Tucker and Dorado with dropkicks. Tucker picks up Dorado in a back suplex position and uses him as a battering ram to knock the other teams off the apron. Dorado hits a handspring stunner on Tucker and then both men make tags to their respective partners. Dorado takes Otis down with a dropkick and then Lucha House Party hit simultaneous moonsaults to the outside onto their opponents. Dawson hits Dorado with a suplex on the outside and then Metalik springboards into the arms of Otis and this leads to Heavy Machinery hitting the Compactor to eliminate Lucha House Party and this sends us to commercial. As we come back from commercial Shorty is working over the arm of Tucker until Tucker makes a comeback and slams Shorty. Wilder tags himself in and then cuts off Tucker before he can make a tag, Wilder takes Tucker down with a double leg only to get pushed back into the corner which allows Shorty to tag himself back in. Shorty runs into a big hip toss from Tucker and as he rolls into The Revival’s corner Dawson tags himself in. Dawson gets hits with a back body drop and this allows Tucker to finally make the hot tag to Otis. Otis slams Dawson and then gives us a striptease as he pulls his shirt off, Otis then Hulks up and suplexes Dawson across the ring. Otis hits Dawson with an avalanche in the corner and as he does Wilder makes the blind tag. Otis hits the Caterpillar elbow drop on Dawson but as soon as he does Wilder catches him with a sunset flip which is enough for the 3 count and just like that Heavy Machinery is eliminated. There is a staredown between the two remaining teams that turns into a brawl that goes to the outside. The Revival taunt New Day and try to throw Shorty and Ali back in the ring but the babyfaces counter and end up sending The Revival over the top of the announce table and into New Day. We go to commercial as all three teams are arguing at ringside.

As we come back from the break we see that Dawson has Shorty in a Gory special which Shorty turns into a roll-up for 2. Dawson makes a tag to Wilder who cuts Shorty off from making the tag, but this would end up backfiring as Shorty hits a German suplex on both men. Ali tags himself in and we get a German suplex and superkick double team spot on Wilder that got them another 2 count as Dawson broke up the pin. Shorty knocks Dawson and himself over the top rope and to the floor with a running crossbody. Ali tries for the roll-through X-Factor but is caught with a nice lariat by Wilder, Ali then tries for the tornado DDT but Wilder turns that into a power slam. Wilder tries for a suplex but Ali is able to escape and get Wilder in a pinning position only to be kicked straight into the corner where this time Ali hits the tornado DDT.  Ali goes up top looking for the 450 but Dawson pulls Wilder out of the ring at the right time but instead of crashing to the mat Ali is able to roll through it. Ali gets caught on a tope attempt and is tossed into the timekeeper area only for Shorty to take The Revival down moments later by diving off the apron. Shorty looks to hit a top rope moonsault but Wilder gets his foot up only for Shorty to catch the foot and lock in the ankle lock. Wilder rolls through to get out of the ankle lock and sends Shorty right into an uppercut from Dawson and then moments later The Revival hit the Shatter Machine to pick up the win. Winners: The Revival via Pinfall    Match Rating: ***¼

I really enjoyed this match as it was action-packed and ever never slowed down. I really liked everything in the match involving Lucha House party especially when Metalik and Ali were in there together. I really hope in the future once they decide to split the Lucha House Party that they give Metalik a decent push as he is so good and deserves a bigger spotlight be shown on him. I look forward to the New Day vs The Revival match at TLC as I feel these two teams have yet to have that classic match that has everyone talking.

After the match, The Revival cut a passionate promo about being sick of the New Day’s jokes and silliness but that will end when they become SmackDown Tag Team Champions. The Revival vow to take things back to the old-school with some old-school tag team wrestling. The Revival tells New Day they can go back to doing their podcast so they can tell the world they just got beat by the best team in the company. 

We get a video recapping what happened last week with Reigns delivering a proper ass whooping to Robert Roode. Roman is interviewed backstage and says that he plans on embarrassing Corbin in their TLC match at the TLC PPV. Michael Cole hypes the fact that CM Punk will be back on WWE Backstage next week.

We see another video from Sheamus to hype his return. Match #3: Lacey Evans vs Haley Jones Lacey’s opponent for this match must have come straight from her day job of being the ringmaster at the circus. They lock up and Lacey tosses Haley down and then hits her with an arm drag which leads to Lacey working on the arm for a minute. Haley gets to her feet but Lacey slams her right back down to the mat. They lock up again and Lacey backs Haley into the corner which leads to Haley trying to make a comeback with some weak forearms. Lacey counters a whip to the ropes and hits the Woman’s Right to pick up the win. Winner: Lacey Evans via Pinfall  Match Rating: DUD

After the match, Sasha Banks comes out and says that Lacey had better not lay a finger on her or Bayley again and mentions something about Lacey’s daughter which gets an instant reaction of Lacey who tells Sasha that she better never mention her daughter again. Lacey talks about being a marine and says she will drop Sasha where she stands. Lacey throws a feint woman’s right and Sasha falls back as she was anticipating the punch, but instead, all she got was an embarrassment. As Lacey is walking up the ramp she is attacked by Bayley, the Boss N Hug Connection beatdown the Sassy Southern Belle and stand tall above Lacey.

After two weeks I have to say I am liking babyface Lacey and according to tonight’s crowd, the fans are liking it as well as they chanted Nasty toward Sasha. I thought Lacey cut a really good promo and I’m happy to hear that she is talking more natural and no longer has the long drawn out cadence to her promos. I liked how Lacey got some shine on Sasha by making her look a fool while and then immediately turns around and gets her heat back as she helps Bayley beat down Lacey, as all three women got over in the segment. This is one of the matches I’m looking forward to at TLC. I couldn’t help but laugh a little when Lacey said something about not only being a mother but also being a marine because there is a commercial that I see for an attorney that is based here in South Carolina (as well as Georgia) where the main selling point as to why you should come to him is that he is a former marine, all she had to do was tell us to call 999-9999 and she would’ve just done a commercial for George Sink.  After a commercial break, we get another video package focussing on Tribute to the Troops.  Match #4: Roman Reigns vs Dolph Ziggler The tights that Ziggler wore in this match looked like they came straight from Brutus Beefcake’s closet. Ziggler tries to go for a single leg takedown but Reigns grabs a front face lock which gets broken when Ziggler reaches the ropes. Ziggler kicks Reigns in the knee and then delivers a neck breaker for a near fall. Ziggler rakes the eyes of Reigns before grounding him with a rest hold until Reigns fights back and gets to his feet only for Ziggler to slam him back down to the mat by his hair. Ziggler waits for Reigns to get up so he can hit a stinger splash in the corner, but instead, he is met with an uppercut from Reigns. Ziggler rolls to the outside so he can sucker in Reigns and sure enough, it works as Ziggler dodges an attempted Drive-By and sends Reigns into the steps as we go to commercial.

We come back from break and see that Ziggler has Reigns grounded and is working on the arm, Reigns tries for a roll-up out of nowhere that gets a near fall and then Reigns is hit with a dropkick. Ziggler then starts toying around with Reigns which only fires Reigns up as he comes back with a couple of uppercuts before he is sent face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Reigns rolls outside which allows Ziggler to throw him into the barricade and then right back into the ring where he gets a 2 count off a pin attempt. Ziggler grounds Reigns once again with a chin lock, eventually, Reigns escapes the hold and delivers a couple of clotheslines one of which takes Ziggler over the top rope to the floor. Reigns leaps off the steps looking for a Superman Punch but ate a superkick instead. While both men are down at ringside we get the arrival of King Corbin who is being carried down to the ring on the royal sedan as we go to commercial.

We come back to Reigns signaling for the Superman Punch but Ziggler dodges it and then Reigns catches the foot of Ziggler on a superkick attempt only for Ziggler to dodge an uppercut and hit a big jumping DDT that gets a 2 count. Ziggler waits for Reigns to get to his feet and when he does Ziggler goes to hit the Zig Zag, but Reigns hangs onto the top rope only for Ziggler to hit a sunset flip for a 2 count. Reigns finally hit the Superman Punch but it only gets him a 2 count. Reigns goes for the Spear but Ziggler cut him off with a kick to the head and then throws Reigns into the corner shoulder first. Ziggler is able to hit the Zig-Zag finally but that isn’t enough to get the job done. At this point, Corbin comes down from his sedan and gets on the apron to distract the referee only for Reigns to knock him back down to the floor with a Superman Punch. Ziggler tries for a roll-up but Reigns kicks out and then hits Ziggler with a Spear to get the win. Winners: Roman Reigns via Pinfall   Match Rating: ***

After the match, the men who carried Corbin to the ring on the sedan attack Reigns and after fighting them off Reigns is attacked by Corbin momentarily before Reigns fights him off only to be hit with a superkick from Ziggler. Ziggler grabs a set of handcuffs from under the ring and with a 6-on-1 advantage, the heels handcuff Reigns to the ring post in a position where his arms are held up over his head. Ziggler then reaches under the ring once again and this time he pulls out cans of dog food and just as you would expect they poor the dog food all over Reigns and rub it into his face, Corbin delivers the final blow when he hits Reigns with the scepter. The show ends with a handcuffed Reigns covered in dog food and screaming out in anger. I thought I was going to be able to write a review about a good episode of SmackDown, but as expected WWE screws that up as they took two steps backward by booking Reigns to be the sympathetic (and this week you can add humiliated) babyface rather than continuing on from last week where he looked like a badass. The logical booking for this week should’ve seen Reigns taking out Ziggler so that Corbin would be on his own at TLC, however this is WWE and they rarely think logically for long periods of time so instead we got Reigns handcuffed to the ring post and being covered in dog food (I guess we can be thankful it wasn’t dog shit, shoutout to the feud between the British Bulldog and The Rock back in 1999) because that is a sure way to get people to want to see this match. It sucks for both Reigns and Ziggler that people will be talking about how bad the post-match stuff was and completely forget the match they had that was good. With the exception of the dog food part at the end of the show I think this was one of the better shows I have reviewed, there were two good matches, we got more acquainted with babyface Lacey Evans and she is doing great in that role so far, we got the first Alexa Bliss match on SmackDown since she returned last week, and probably most importantly we got a segment that added to the Wyatt character as he attacked someone not dressed as The Fiend. 

That’s it for this week I hope you enjoy the first review that I wrote from my new Microsoft Surface Pro X which was a Christmas present from my mom. 

[writingcommons-blog1]

“Major Defect” by Nicole D.

NICOLE I could never, in the six months I had worked for Menards, understand why it was necessary to roll the entire defective product bin all the way to the back of the store when there were only three or four items sitting in the bottom. I mean, honestly, what’s the harm in letting them chill in there overnight so we can fill it up the next day? It would make way more sense to roll it back when it was full, but I digress. It wasn’t my job to dictate these kinds of things; only to move the damn things.  

Two people, each from different alternating departments, were assigned to take the two large bins back to the trash compactor. On the day this story began, the plumbing department and the cashiers fell victim to the rotation. After [not] much deliberation amongst the front-end managers, yours truly was selected to take one for the cashiers. Along with me was a young man, about my age, named Tyler. He was your typical guy who could invoke a ‘holy shit, he’s hot’ reaction from a number of women, myself included. Nothing like a tall, slender man with reddish brown hair and just enough facial hair to call a goatee to get you motivated. Come on, if that wasn’t going to motivate me to take one of those huge defect bins across the entire store, nothing was.  

“Are there really only a couple things in this frickin’ bin?” he groaned. 

“Yea, but sadly we still have to take them back,” I shrugged. I could feel my face was on fire and yet, no matter how much I tried to look down or avoid direct eye contact, somehow I still felt like it was obvious. 

“Oh, I am not taking that back with just that shit in it. Wait here.” 

“Um - ok,” I muttered as he walked away. Those cowboy boots made his ass look great, not that it was important, but damn was it a good view to pass the time while I waited. As I stood there I could hear footsteps approaching behind me. Since everyone was hustling around the store trying to get closing duties done, I didn't think anything of it until someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turn around to find the assistant manager of the cashiers, Nathan. 

"Hey, who did they send from plumbing to take the defect bins back with you?" he asked.

"Tyler, why?"

"Oh, I was just curious. Are you two friends?"

"We just met, so I wouldn't quite say that."

"Ok, well I just wanna let you know that he's gay."

Gay? Well fuck. Skip to the third strike guys, because I'm already out. At the same time, however, I was really curious as to why Nathan was telling me this. 

"Wow, ok. Is there a reason that is important to this conversation?" I asked.

"Everyone knows. Just wanted to keep you in the loop," he replied before walking away. Hearing his explanation really didn't provide any kind of closure to my question, but it did get me thinking. If Nathan is telling me that Tyler is gay the first time I ever get to interact with him, then how many other people talk about his sexuality behind his back? Nathan met his girlfriend down the entryway and I could see them talking and looking back at me. I guess that answers my own question; it must be everyone.

Minutes later he returned with a car full of dirty and broken parts that had pink defect stickers all over them.  

“What the hell is this, Tyler?” I laughed. 

“If there is actually shit to take back, I’ll take it back. There wasn’t any, so I found some. Just call me Major Defect!” 

“How did you get all of this?” I asked through the laughter at his new nickname. 

“I have my ways, Boo,” he said with a wink. I got all giddy inside because now I had a pet name. I guess we are friends. 

“You are a lifesaver, Babe.”  I could get away with saying that, right? 

“Babe?” he asked with a confused look in his eyes. Damn, I guess not. 

“I call all my friends that, male and female.” 

“Oh, cool then. I have never known anyone who actually does that!” 

“Really? I’m from a small town, so we call everyone Babe and Honey. Baby is for significant others only.”  

“Believe me, I had never heard of anything like that until I met my boyfriend, Casey. He calls everyone ‘Dear’.” 

Boyfriend? Nathan wasn't kidding, I guess. 

“Wow!” I exclaimed with a super fake smile. “I use that one too.”  

At this point I was pretty bummed. Not because I had realized that I was talking about the insane hotness of a gay guy, but at the fact that I now knew everyone in the entire store knew and was talking about it. At least, on the bright side, a hilarious friendship blossomed from the fun, albeit embarrassing, experience.  

TYLER "Hey Boo!" I shouted from my desk in plumbing. Nicole was bringing some returns back from the service desk. Her arms were full of PVC pipe. I was on my way out to have lunch with Casey, so I went over to her to have a quick chat.

"Hey Babe," she said, "what's up?"

"What are you doing tonight? I know you procrastinate just as bad as I do, so you won't judge me for this. Christmas is only a week away and I need some help getting my tree home and getting ready. You in?"

"I am into it, around it, and all up in it! I'll follow you home after work."

She was smiling at the idea, her smile almost as bright as the single diamond in the center of her cross necklace. Suddenly I began to think about last Christmas. Casey tried to call his mother about coming home for the holidays. She simply told him that it’s Jesus’ birthday and Jesus doesn’t approve of homosexuals. Apparently being gay means you can’t celebrate Christmas now. 

"That sounds great, but there is something I need to ask you."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Are you religious?"

"Well that's a bit random, but yes, I'm Christian."

"Shit," I muttered. Casey is going to hate me for being friends with her. Now what?

"Don't tell me you're going to lump me in with all the gay shaming sign holders."

"No, it's just my boyfriend Casey. He's going to be home tonight and he is very anti religious."

"What led to that?"

"Let's just say he had a really rough transition when he first started college here."

"Oh, that's too bad. I just won't mention anything about God around him. Not my lover, not my life," she said. I have always loved how non judgemental she is. That's probably why we are such good friends.

"Ok, and don't say anything about being Christian or going to church either. He hasn't ever met a Christian who doesn't immediately tell him he's going to hell," I explained.

"Well then we will just leave that out when you introduce us. If we decide to tell him, maybe then we just shouldn't lead with that information. Save it for later on after he likes me." 

I like the way she thinks.

"Awesome, well I have to get going, Casey is actually coming by to pick me up for lunch.”

"Alright, have a good time!" she waved and carried on with her PVC pipe stocking. Not even a few moments later I noticed Casey coming in the front entrance. He jogged over to me and gave me a hug. 

"You ready to go?" he asked me. 

"Of course! Shall we make our way to our extravagant McDonald's lunch?" He chuckled and put his arm around me as we started walking out the door and towards the car. 

As we were in line at the restaurant making our order, a woman stood by her husband staring daggers at me and Casey. She looked like the typical soccer mom. The type who would immediately pull the "my husband is a cop" card, or something of that nature. Her hubby was pretty buff looking, so I wouldn't have been surprised. They were both wearing shirts that were from a church of some kind and covered in scripture and crosses. I turned around to see Case with our bag of food ready to go. We made our way out the door and started walking across the parking lot to our car. He put the bag on the roof while he dug through his bag to find his keys. It seemed like it was taking forever. 

Suddenly we heard tires screeching directly behind us. Lo and behold it was that same couple from inside pulling out of their spot and headed right past us. Next thing I know I felt a sudden bomb of freezing cold substance all over my torso. I looked up at the car and see the husband sticking his middle finger out of the window.

"Fuckin' faggots!" he shouted at us, his wife cackling in the passenger seat. As they drove off into the distance, I noticed a plethora of "I love Jesus" and "He is risen" bumper stickers. That explains the shirts, I guess.

Casey nearly charged after their car, but I threw an arm in front of him before he could gain too much momentum. He slapped me upside the head and scolded me for getting in his way. He always does things like that, so I try not to get on his nerves, but sometimes you do what you have to do. I looked down at myself, covered in what I believed to be a chocolate milkshake of some kind. Most people would think this would have been hard to explain to their coworkers, but they gossiped about me enough. I'm sure they could put two and two together. 

"Let's go. I should get back to work," I muttered quietly. Casey shook his head and walked over to the driver side. 

"I saw those stickers on their car," he said. "Those damn Christians will never accept us, you know that."

"I only stopped you because I don't want either of us to go to jail," I said. "And you don't think they should go to jail for half the shit they do to people like us? They are all the same, Tyler, and that's just the truth. They don't want to accept us or befriend us. They want to change us, hurt us, or even kill us," he said as he started to tear up. At that time I could only assume he was having flashbacks of his mother. 

We made our way back to Menards and once we arrived, I let out a big sigh before heading to the entrance. I turned to wave goodbye to Casey. Before I even get to the door I saw Nicole pushing carts from outside. She took one look at me and gasped in horror as she ran over and began asking me what happened.

"Just more faggot haters," I sighed. 

CASEY I waved as Tyler got out of the car and made his way inside with who I could only assume was Nicole. He talks about his friend at work named Nicole who has a collection of western boots. This girl had a very nice pair of American flag pattern boots, so I was sure it was a safe bet to assume it was her. I knew I should get out and introduce myself or at least wave as I drive by, but it wasn't a good time. I couldn't stop thinking about those stupid Jesus freaks in their stupid car with their stupid bumper stickers. Man, the whole thing was so stupid! I couldn't help but wonder if they didn't consider us human beings. 

The seething anger I was feeling took me further back into my memories from when I first moved here. Starting community college and being bookchecked by anyone and everyone who knew I was gay. I thought bookchecking was just a middle school thing, but I guess not. At least it wasn't anything I wasn't already use to. Even growing up things were really tough. Coming out to my parents was probably the worst. I'll never forget when my mother looked me in the eye and said "I will not have a gay son". At that point, I wasn't her son anymore and I went to Tylers. We lived together from that point on. 

Upon pulling into the driveway and getting parked, I sat back and just closed my eyes. I tried with everything I had to get out of this headspace and into a more positive mood. I was going to meet Tyler's best friend and then we would all decorate the house for Christmas. We both always had a hard time making friends, for obvious reasons, so this was actually a pretty big night. With that in mind, I went inside and began to make plans for dinner. 

NICOLE That evening, after we both finished our shifts for the day, I followed him home with his Christmas tree strapped on his roof and through the windows. As we pulled into his driveway, I caught a glimpse of who I thought to be Casey in the living room. He looked through the window and started jumping and clapping when he saw Tyler’s car. They waved to one another before he caught a glimpse of my car parking behind his and let out a big smile. Let the fun begin. 

We walked in and headed straight for the kitchen where we found Casey standing. He was dancing circles around the hardwood floors grabbing various pots, pans, and utensils to get ready for dinner. When he stopped and saw me, he glanced down at my Menards vest and realized I was Tyler’s coworker.  

“Oh my gosh, you must be Nicole!” he exclaimed as he threw his arms around me.  

“I’m guessing you must be Casey,” I chuckled awkwardly.  

“I’m so sorry Honey, we’re huggers here. I didn’t mean to catch you off guard."

“No, I love it! That means I’ll fit right in,” I giggled along with them. I was so excited because things were going great and I was really hitting it off with Casey. That's when my phone rang. It displayed "Pastor Larry" on the screen with a big picture of him during his Easter Sermon from earlier that year. I could feel Casey's stare before I even looked up to see it. 

"You’re a Christian?" he asked in a sinister demeanor. 

"Yes," I choked.

CASEY Without so much as a second thought, I grabbed a frying pan with my right hand and held it high in the air over my head. Then, with my left hand, I grabbed a spatula and pointed it at Tyler. From that point on it became an extension of my arm as I continued to use it in my gesturing.  

“You brought a Christian into this house?!” I shouted, pointing the spatula towards Nicole while staring angrily at Tyler with red, watery eyes. Honestly, for a hot minute, I felt scared for my life. These are the people who have attacked and ridiculed me all my life, and she was one of them? How dare Tyler bring her into our home!

“Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down, Casey, she’s cool! She’s one of the good ones!” Tyler shouted.

“Casey stop!” Nicole screamed. Tyler and I stopped in our tracks and turned our eyes directly to hers.  

“Yes, I’m Christian," she stated "but no, I don’t give a flying fuck if you like men or women. It doesn’t matter what I think, or what anyone thinks, whether they are Christian or not. Do what and who you want, I’m not going to tell you any different.” 

I lowered my kitchen utensil weapons and looked at her. I wondered if she could feel the inquisitive look I was giving her through the tears I could feel building in my waterline. Could she feel all the years of pain and suffering people like us have endured? I was still shaking with tears rolling down my face.

“It says in your precious Bible that people like us are an abomination,” I sniffled, “I just don’t understand how you can defend something like that and consider yourself chill enough to have gay friends.” At this point I was on a whole new level of anger.

“It also says in that same Bible that a woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night is to be taken to her father’s house and stoned to death. Do you think that nearly as many people would be married today if we still enforced that rule? There is a verse that says only the person who is without sin may cast the first stone. I’m not perfect either.” 

“You’re not an abomination like you people think we are. You’re not lesbian.” 

“Alright,” she snapped, “first off, I am not a part of some cult that you refer to as you people. I understand why you’re on guard, I do, but you’re overgeneralizing. Second, no I’m not homosexual, but I have sinned plenty according to that book. I’ve had relations out of wedlock, I’ve consumed alcohol underage, and I’ve certainly gone through times when I did not honor my mother and father. I’ve been  jealous and lusted after things I shouldn’t. Those are all sins according to the Bible, so if you want to have a stone throwing match, who goes first?” 

I stared her down through my angry tears.  

“There is nothing wrong with the way we are! We aren’t defective because we’re gay!” I shouted in intense agony. 

Suddenly, like breaking the tension in a depressing romance movie, I grabbed my coat and left the house after slamming the door behind me. I don't know who to blame right now, Tyler for bringing someone like her into our home or Nicole and the rest of her kind for everything they had ever done to us. My seething anger continued to grow and grow. I'll figure something out. 

TYLER Eventually Nicole and I found ourselves on my living room floor watching football and making decorations for the tree we had just set up. I let out a small sniffling sound, but it sounded more saddening than it did like a cold. I'm not a very good actor, apparently, because she clearly noticed. 

"Tyler, are you ok?" she asked, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm scared and I don't know what to do," I confessed to her. "I have no idea if Casey is ever going to get past this, but at the same time I know I didn't do anything wrong. We couldn't plan for that! He's had such a rough life and this kind of thing really gets to him. What should I do?"

"Stop blaming yourself, for starters," she demanded, "and after that just live your life. He has every right to be on guard, you both do. After everything you guys have been through and still put up with every single day, there is nothing wrong with that. Personally, even as a Christian, I don't care what other people do because my choices are what determine my life. Why should I make a big deal about what other people are doing that I can't control?"

I began to cry with my face in my hands.

"Do you think he'll come back?" I choked. 

“I'm sure he will."

Later that night, after Nicole was gone for the night, I began to pick up our little arts and crafts mess. The place was quiet, which was not something I had ever planned on having to get use to. As I was walking through the living room cleaning up, I stopped by the Christmas tree to look at the ornaments. Right at my eye level there was a photo ornament with a picture of me and Casey on our first date. I felt a tear fall down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away and continued working. 

All of a sudden the door flies open and I hear someone stomping up the stairs. It's Casey. Before I could open my mouth to welcome him home or ask if he was ok, I feel his hand on my throat.  

"Why would you do this to me?!" he screams in my face. 

"What are you talking about?" I choked out despite his hand on my neck. He releases me.

"Don't play dumb, Tyler. You knew she was religious yet you still invited her here. To a house with two gay men living in it."

"You heard for yourself, she doesn't care what we do!"

"That's what they all say! They say that 'only God can judge' and that it isn't their place to criticize your decisions, but that really doesn't apply to us. Everyone has already judge us and made it abundantly clear. We are going to hell and that's that, obviously."

"Would you stop it, Casey?" I pleaded. "She isn't like that, and had you not acted like a complete psycho and got to know her you would know that." 

"Don't call me a fucking psycho!" he shouted. After having barely finished his sentence he pulled back his right arm and launched his fist directly into my face. My right eye suffered the most. He continues his assault by pushing me down on the floor and pointing his finger in my face as he continues to yell about Nicole. I struggle underneath him, but manage to slip a leg inward and push it into his stomach, triggering his release of me. 

As he laid back on the floor, one hand on his pained midsection, I tried to reason with him. Before I could get more than half of a word out, he is storming into the kitchen. I troll behind but stay on the opposite side of the room, hoping he will calm down. He stood over the sink with his arms on the counter and his head down. I could hear him gasping for air between sobs, so I assumed he was collecting himself, but I was wrong.

Next thing I know he has one of the empty pickle jars I use for planting in his hand and he is charging after me with it held high over his head. I barely blinked before he smashed it into my head. Shattered glass was now strewn all over the kitchen and small red drops fell to the floor beneath my head as I tried to rise. I put my hand up to him.

"No more!"

Casey yanked me off the floor by my elbow and pinned me against the wall, his free hand on my throat. At one point I could almost feel my face turning blue. He leaned in real close to me and whispered something awful.

"When they come for you, do you really think she'll stay on our side?"

I knew exactly what he meant. That eventually push will come to shove and things will be at their point of life or death based on my being gay. He thinks that the religious folks will all stick together, no matter what they think individually, because of the God they worship. That's what he thinks about Nicole too. 

I feel a falling sensation as he lets go of my neck and I am back on the ground, curled up in agony. I tried to crawl my way to the living room to get my phone, but alas, I only made it to the staircase railing. Casey stood over me and then, as he smirked and shook his head, took his foot and nudged me just far enough to where I helplessly fell down the stairs. Once I reached the bottom I appeared to be a limp, lifeless body with my hair damp from the dripping blood. 

"Don't go anywhere," he chuckled maniacally, "I have some things I need to get."

I laid there helpless, of course, and obeyed his command. Not because I was intimidated or because I wanted to, but because I couldn't move. A little while later he comes down the stairs with multiple bags in hand. He opens the door, slamming it right onto my head that he had already damaged with the pickle jar, and looks down at me.

"You'll understand someday, but by then it will be too late for you." Needless to say, after he finally finished with me and left with his things, we were over. 

NICOLE "Tyler, what happened?" I yelled as I dashed over to him. His right eye was black, he also had cuts across his hairline and one on his bottom lip. Don’t get me started on the various bruises, or at least the ones I could see.

"Casey happened."

"Wait, he did this to you? I swear, if I see that boy again I'm gonna - "

"Don't bother," he said. "He's long gone now. We're over."

"I'm so sorry this happened, Babe. I never should have gone over. How can I fix this?"

"Stop blaming yourself, for starters," he smiled, using my own words against me. We both started chuckling, but not for long. Nathan and his girlfriend were approaching from down the aisle. 

"Heeey Tyler," he said, mocking him in the stereotypical "gay" voice. "What happened to your eye? Infection from the money shot your boyfriend gave you?"

Tyler lunged at Nathan, but fell short after I threw myself in front of him to hold him back. 

"Fuck off, Nathan!" he screamed, tears beginning to fill his eyes. 

"Whoa, chill! I was just concerned for your eye is all. No need to get all pissy about it," he chuckled, his girlfriend laughing along with him as they walked away. Tyler covered his eye with one hand and held his left out. 

"Do you have any concealer or foundation I could use to cover this up?"

"Of course," I reached into my purse and gave my concealer and a mirror to him. As he begins to cover up his black eye, I feel horrible for what just happened, but even worse for it happening every day and not being able to do anything to stop it. He was my friend, and he was suffering, but I was powerless to end it. I knew this was a huge problem in the community and in the world, yet I never realized just how much it affects everyone involved. Even the heterosexual friends of those who are LGBTQ are hurt, and I can certainly feel that now. That pain for Tyler and that pain for Casey, despite what he did. "I didn't realize things were this bad just because you are gay," I said to him. He hands me back my things and looks me in the eye.

"Most people don't, that's why it's such a problem in this world."

I begin to tear up along with him. We hug each other tightly. 

"I hope you know that you're not alone in this. Seeing these things and hearing about everything you've been through hurts me to hear it," I said to him. "Just remember, being gay is not a defect. You're perfect the way you are." 

Suddenly we hear our names called over the PA to take defect bins to the back. "Not a defect, huh?" he chuckles as he races to the bins and jumps up to sit on the side of one of them and do a superhero pose. "Then why do they call me Major Defect?"

We both busted out laughing.