#was gonna try hiding his eye behind his ear n making it real floppy but it wasnt working

[spaciebabie]

spacie hear me out please. springtrap with droopy bunny ears??? please???? I love how you draw him!!

you have been heard :> channeled my Inner Starbs for this one! hav byunny

trying ta find a way ta incorporate his design in2 this was fun!!

i really liked glitchtrap's whiskers so i added em :]

[internalsealpanic]

Do It Yourself Hauntings

Summary: You and Terry get extremely bored while on a group date as you walk through a haunted house. Terry has a brilliant idea that’s sure to chase away your boredom. 

masterlist

a/n: Guess who is flagrantly avoiding homework to write a fic? So this is Cat!Reader x Terry McGinnis. Reader is still as gender neutral as I can make them so I went with the name ‘Stray’. A tid bit I could not write in organically is that reader is painfully shy in their civilian identity but has little to no inhibitions when in their night time persona. Another clarification is that this is the outfit I had in mind. It was legit the thing I had my heart set on when my lizard brain said Catwoman character.   

Warnings: Adult language, clowns, clownery, and this maybe a tinsy bit spicy at one point (I tried) (kind of? Look, I just don’t want anyone going all mother superior on me. Just in case. ).

You were incredibly, stupidly, magnificently bored.

You shifted on your heels, letting them click and echo trying to distract yourself from the thrum of excess energy surging through your body.

It-It didn’t work.

The clicking only made you more anxious, plucking at your taut nerves like well-tuned guitar strings.

It probably didn’t help that you just came back from a dazzling night of heists and getting shot at. Adrenaline still flowing through your veins like molten ichor. Heart still floundering in your chest as if- at any moment- the cops would come rushing in and you would have to make your daring, if not dramatic, escape.

Between this and the sorry attempt at jump scares the poor underpaid actors subjected you to, your head started aching and your mood plummeted into something vile. Thankfully, your group was none-the-wiser unless all of them spontaneously decided to master micro-expressions then you were the picture of an apprehensive young adult trekking through a cheap haunted house.

Why did you agree to this again?

Pulse still pounding loudly in your ears and content with letting the others have their fun, you silently fall into the back of the group. There was a higher chance that you would encounter the cringe-inducing scares but you weren’t too concerned. Nope. You were more worried about the very real possibility that you might deck Nelson or Chelsea or Blade or whoever the fuck decided that girls need to play scared to make guys feel cool. Ok, yeah, the last one.

When Chelsea did another ill-timed flinch, scrabbling for Nelson’s arm, and Nelson ate it up, you swore your eyes would roll their way out of their sockets. Whoever popularized this needed to be shot. Twice.

There was always a possibility that they weren’t faking it, that they were genuinely terrified but you highly doubted it considering if anything actually scary happened, Nelson would be the first one to run.

Neck deep in your musings, you hadn’t noticed as Terry slowed to keep pace with you. He leaned down close enough to brush his lips against your skin and blew a light gust into your ear.  You jumped clutching your ear feeling the heat spread through your body. You twitched away. The memory of his lips against your ear making your stomach dance. Your skin prickled with curiosity-

 You glowered at him. You prayed that the embarrassment plain on your body language did not dampen the venom in your eyes.

“Told ya I could be scary,”

He winked.

You sighed.

Of course, he hadn’t let that go.

You rolled your head to the side and shrank into your puffy leather jacket trying to hide the bright flush of your cheeks. From the absolutely smarmy grin he gave you, he was enjoying this. Was this payback? It was probably payback. Payback for all the slag you said over the comms, the flirty little touches, or all the little kisses you dealt him every time you encountered him in the field.

Here’s a novel concept! Maybe don’t dish out what you can’t take.

“Compared to this place? Yeah,”

“Ouch, what’s got you in a mood?”

You leveled him a look. Terry leveled you with his own. You tilted your head ever so slightly to show the bruise blooming on your collar bone. He winced. His jaw clenched.  You instantly regretted showing him when his brows were carved with guilt. Normally, you liked looking at Terry. Easy on the eyes kind of handsome. He only looked punchable in the Batsuit. But you could never stand the guilt and worry on his face, especially when you were the cause. It wasn’t even his fault. You took the blow knowing your armor wasn’t quite as enforced. That was on you.

You sucked in a breath and rolled your shoulders contorting yourself away from the ever-present need to apologize. Instead, you waved your hand vaguely at the cheaply constructed haunted house. “Admit it, this place is-” 

“isn’t that-” He looked around rubbing the back of his neck. “-bad?”

“Terry, the scariest thing about this place is how many credits I wasted,” you deadpanned looking down at your, now, lighter wallet. It wasn’t physically lighter but you were a drama queen and you had a point to make.

Terry chuckled at your antics and rolled his eyes. “It’s got its charms,” You raised your brow and crossed your arms. His shoulders slumped then straightened, a teasing quirk to his lip curling.   “Still better than doing that family studies paper,”

Ok, that you could agree on.

The rest of the walk was marginally bearable with you and Terry providing quiet commentary on each scare. It was hard to hold back laughter. Your body shook, nearly falling into a giggle fit several times. You got dirty looks from the others several times for the transgression of ‘ruining’ the mood.  You were a little impressed that they had managed to make a mood for you to ruin. After all, what’s more romantic than zombie clowns and warehouses?

 Your sides ached. You really wanted to just let out a laugh, a real full belly laugh but you hated your laugh. Terry, you thought, was aware of your broken plate laugh. Why did he keep trying to draw it out?

Your group made it into a large clearing. Your anxiety immediately ratcheted up with the wide-open space but relaxed after scanning the room. There was nowhere to put

Creaking and scraping of old rusty metals resonated in every corner.

Terry nudged you and pointed upward, directing your attention to the silhouette moving around in the rafters.

Your heart stopped momentarily but picked back up again as soon as you saw the graceless way the figure moved around.

A clown covered in gore and shards of metal jumped down from the rafters landing in the middle of your ragtag group. You scattered. You heard a few gasps. You even saw Nelson flinch. You took some petty satisfaction in being right.

You yawned less concerned with the crazy act he was putting on and more with how the hell he hasn’t landed on a single patron. You made your boredom plain. You’ve seen crazy.  Your sides throbbed in protest of the reminder.

You looked down to distract yourself only to be met with the sight of floppy red clown shoes. Genuine, floppy, red clown shoes. You pinched the bridge of your nose and bit your lip. Your body trembled from trying to contain the laughter roiling in your stomach.

The man continued to spout something about keeping you all here for his entertainment. Blah. Blah. You crossed your ankles and leaned ever so  slightly into Terry’s space, cocking your head to the opposite side.  You yawned into your hand muffling the sound as best you could in an attempt to be polite. Terry had other ideas.

Terry leaned down into your ear making an exaggerated snoring sound.  An ugly snort tore its way out of your nostrils loud enough to be heard over the clown’s overly dramatic soliloquy. You felt everyone’s eyes on you. You clamped your hand over your mouth to stifle the onslaught of snorts rising up from your chest. You narrowed your eyes at Terry who, at the moment, was also fighting his own fit of laughter. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you, in solidarity, tried not to laugh too hard at the expense of the wannabe Shakespeare actor.

You kind of felt bad.

Maybe.

Ok, you did. But not nearly enough to actually stop laughing. In your defense, Ace had more acting chops than this guy. But kudos, he was really into the bit.

He lunged at the two of you, fuming with smoke coming out of his ears. Terry grabbed you pressing you to his side and wrapping a protective arm around you. You let out an embarrassing little squeak. You witnessed as he cataloged it into the ‘stuff y/n is never gonna live down’ part of his brain. ‘Cute’ he mouthed silently. You cursed yourself. You turned to cuss at Terry-

The clown lunged at you again, murderous intent plain as day on his face. He snarled as you two dodged him easily with a quick sidestep. In the corner of your eyes, you could see the other actors look on in bewilderment.  One of them shook her head clearly exasperated. Ok, so you unintentionally pissed off one of the actors. Great. Now, what?

The man lunged for you again. Dodging gracefully, you two turned on your heels and bolted leading him away from the group. You could hear the group collectively cheering him on behind you as you made your escape.

Technically, you could just knock him out and maybe go back to the group. One of you was the goddamn Batman while the other was Stray, thief extraordinaire, after all. But between the gasp of laughter and the playful grin stretching across Terry’s face like hell that was happening.

You two ducked into a corner tired and panting. You press yourself against the cool metal of the wall with Terry shielding you from view.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,”  You whisper, shrinking into your leather jacket feeling keenly aware of your lack of undershirt as the heat radiating from his skin pressed against yours. He leaned against you, closing the gap between the two of you.  His panting breaths fanning against your skin, lips brushing against the bare skin of your collar.  You bit out a curse as the color on your cheeks darkened. You swallowed a lump, heart floundering again. You felt him smile against your skin.

You like to say it was anger that flared up in you. You really would but the heat suffusing in your body said otherwise. You pushed at him weakly. “We have to get back,”

Terry stepped back giving you space. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

“You sure you want to? Bozo is still looking for us. That and you’ll probably still be bored,”

You tapped your foot and tilted your head considering it. You looked into his face searching for something. You sigh inwardly. “Yeah, no. I really don’t wanna go back. The scariest thing is still the amount of money we wasted and I have yet to be scared shitless,”

He smiled at you victoriously. “I have an idea,”

You blinked at him.“Ok, great job! Now, I’m pissing myself with fear,” You teased. You weren’t a fan of Terry’s ideas half the time but hell if they weren’t entertaining.

Terry rolled his eyes at you holding out his hand. “You brought your goggles, right?”

“McGinnis, I didn’t exactly have time to go home and-” You stilled, feeling his eyes trail down your chest before darting back up. Normally, when you were in costume, you left the zipper of your jacket open showing tantalizing glimpses of your soft flesh. Terry was absolutely not opposed to your costume choice unless you were in danger which was rare (thank you very much). This was what led to your current blushing predicament not that the other aspects of your costume were any less complementary. You sighed inwardly before stammering out “Yeah, I have my goggles,”  Fishing them out of an inner pocket of your jacket, you waved them around half-heartedly. 

“Schway! Come on follow me,” He said grabbing your wrist before you could see the flush creeping up his neck.

You rounded a couple of corners before stopping at a beam. He looked from left to right brow furrowed. He tapped his foot twice then somehow decided to go left. How the hell Terry managed to find his way around in the dark was a complete mystery to you. Your first guess is echolocation but the second, more logical guess, was that Bruce was a paranoid old man. Like a normal human, you were entirely dependent on the night vision mode of your goggles. 

You stopped when Terry stretched his arm out in front of you. You squinted seeing another group of bored-looking patrons. You turn to Terry who was looking at them and seemingly analyzing the group and it clicked.

“Oh,” you whispered quietly as you understood what he was planning. He threw you a playful smirk knowing you wouldn’t be able to resist this golden opportunity to fuck around.

“I would like to go on record and say this is a terrible idea,”

“And yet you’re going along with it,”

You were about to protest but couldn’t really think of a good defense.

“You know, if you really wanted to scare them you could have just dressed up as old Brucie,” 

You huffed and put your goggles on before crouching low. He followed suit bending low.

“Weeell, sorry. Your gremlin mug was the best I could do on short notice,”

You made a face of mock hurt which made him chuckle. “Am not,”

As it turns out, two vigilantes well-trained in sneaking around are actually pretty good at scaring people. In the last 5 minutes, you’ve scared four different groups of patrons all with varying reactions but all equally hilarious.

“Yanno we could probably scare Nelson,” Terry hummed innocently trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. You answered him with a vicious smile. “You just want payback for the prank he pulled yesterday,”

“And you want to see him  piss himself,”

This was true.

“Ok, fine. What’s the game plan?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Terry chuckled knowing he’s got you hook, line, and sinker. You scoffed but let him lean closer to you to whisper his maniacal scheme.

“If this works I am going to cry-” You crowed ducking behind another row of boxes as you quietly trailed your group.  “-Hand me your jacket,”

Completely avoiding your outstretched hands, he draped his jacket over you like a strange leather veil before giving your head a quick pat. “Hope you brought tissues then,”

“Like slag, this is gonna work,” You said quirking your brow and tilting your head to make the doubt plain on your face. Even with your vision impaired by your new headpiece, you could still admire how nice he looked in his shirt. Not that you let it show. You hoped.

“Just watch and learn nonbeliever,”

“Oh god he thinks he can pull off miracles now,” You sneered climbing on to his broad shoulders.

“Shhhhhhhh”

You pouted down at him crossing your arms. He shrugged his shoulders, the movement drawing a surprised yelp from you in turn making him snicker. You were about to open your mouth when your smoke trap was triggered.

Ok, this was a blatant abuse of your equipment but who was gonna tell you off? Bruce? Probably but the man was allergic to fun so being at a Halloween fair was, likely,  safe.

Thick waterfalls of white smoke cascaded down from the rafters, blanketing the floor with a thick mist of curling smoke. The group stopped almost mystified by how well-timed the eerie effect was. You had to hold back a derisive snort when they all turned to each other confused.

Because, yes, this is what your hours of booby trap training have been leading up to.

Truly, a magnum opus of spite.

You could already see Nelson readying himself to bolt even as Blade and Chelsea hung off his arms. Petty satisfaction bloomed in you.

Ok, you may be a gremlin.

You threw your voice in a shrill cackle letting it echo and bounce in the room over the too slow circus music playing in the background. It was a chilling sound, the kind that rattled in bones and traveled up the spine. One that you’ve only ever used for pranks during long nights at the lab. You even felt Terry freeze up beneath you. His grip on your thighs getting tighter. How on earth you didn’t yelp or squeak or make any other little noise at that was the true miracle.

“Wha- what’s going on?“  Blade squeaked, pressing into the group.

"Didn’t we just pass the last attraction?!”

“Are you sure it was the last?”

“I don’t know man!”

The group shrank in on itself as the conversation grew more panicked. You felt Terry shaking from holding in laughter. You nudge him softly with your heel. He took a breath and nodded to tell you he was fine.

“Oh children, there’s no need to fuss,” You coo sickeningly sweet. You see them swallow taking in your presence heavy as it was.

“The fun’s only just beginning!” You shriek flicking on the orange lights of your goggles. Your shrill, shrieking voice transmuting over the speakers filling the room.

They screamed, scrambled, and scattered. Your nearly 10-foot silhouette hovering over them. They tripped over each other. Some of them pulling at each other. Some stepping over feet in their haste to get away. Pure terror etched themselves on their faces.

You let them all sprint to exit, watching their forms all disappear before bursting out into laughter.

“Did- Did you see their faces?!”

“Please tell me you were recording,“

“wait-” You choked grabbing for your goggles. You made a show of checking and letting your shoulders fall in disappointment.

Terry looked crushed. A vicious grin carved across your face. “Relax, I was,”

Terry’s slumped against the crate as he leaned back. He ran his hand through his black hair and began to laugh again.

You put your goggles back to your jacket pocket. You clutched at his jacket letting your ugly laugh tumble out of your lips. Terry planted a kiss on your nose making your breath hitch. 

"What was that for?!” Your hands flying to your nose. Your fingers traced the small patch of skin he touched.

“You were just too cute,” He laughed ruffling your hair.

How do you respond to that? How could he say things like that so casually? Does he not know how many heart attacks it gives you?

“Jerk”

“PFFFFT”

“Don’t ‘pfffft’ me!” You bit out, throwing his jacket at him.

“Pfffft”

He stuck his tongue out at you.

“I-”

“Ahem!”

You both looked up to see a security guard and Bozo glowering down at you. You gave them both what passed for a sheepish, but not exactly, apologetic look.

The burly guard picked you both up by the scruff of your necks and hauled you out of the building. He tossed you out back as Bozo yelled “stay out” from the comfort of the guards back. 

“Kick us out yourself, coward!” Terry yelled, shaking his fist like an old man. You slapped your forehead in an effort not to encourage him. Bozo glowered at him from behind his meat shield. Terry snarled. You grabbed his arm to stop him from doing anything stupid.

“I knew it was you two,” Max sighed, hand on her hip.

“How’d you guess?”

“Circus music,”

You looked at her uncomprehendingly before remembering your well-documented discomfort with circuses. You slapped your hand against your forehead. Terry, helpful as usual, snickered at you.

 But before you could throw hands, Max spoke cleared her throat.

“You dumbasses are lucky they don’t press charges,” Max aggravated pinching the bridge of her nose. You had the decency to look a little sheepish at the accusation but Terry looked pleased which earned him a chastising look.

“Sorry, ma’am” You both grumbled as she pulled you both up. 

All three of you walked in tandem.  Max let up the responsible act.

“Not the worst group date you’ve been on, right?” Terry nudged.

 “No, guess not,” You scoffed, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Stiiiiill not as bad as that time you got us caught by the Joker Gang~”

“That wasn’t even my fault,”

————————————–

Thanks for reading! Also please do not do this in real life. They will get mad at you even if their haunted house does stink.

taglist:  @batarellabatarella (YOU BITCH I GOT ANOTHER BATBOY FOR YOU), @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders (I wanna drag you into Terry hell), @l-horizon11

[btsinlondon]

“Namjoon guiding you onto all fours with a blindfold over your eyes as he coaches Jungkook how to fuck for the first time. Praises for you and the maknae dripping from his lips until the bunny is spent and then he shows him how its done”

“that’s right Jungkook, nice and slow. hear those noises coming from her pretty little mouth? she clearly likes it. don’t stop. don’t you dare stop. yeah kookie…good boy, keep going- yeah like that. such a good boy.”

“i can’t - i’m gonna come-oh goddd” jungkook groans and speeds up - pounding into you, whining desperately through every thrust.

one hour earlier -

“you know we’ve slept together right?” Joon says to Kookie in a slighly cocky tone

“wait, what? really?….oh” sudden comprehension spreads across Jungkooks face as he looks from Namjoon to you and back again. his body language is hard to read, his hands resting in his lap, twisting the edge of the fabric of his oversized sweatshirt, his shoulders hunched…but he’s biting his lip and the way he’s looking at you is giving you butterflies in more than one place.

“so when did this happen? how? i thought you two were just friends?”

You and namjoon start talking at the same time “um well- maybe like a year ago?” “yeah we were both drunk, it was just a bit of fun. just kinda happened” you shrug and can’t help but giggle at the smirk spread across Jungkook’s face…he wants to know more.

The bottle of wine on the table was almost empty - the three of you had got together to watch a movie, share snacks and wine and you were all feeling slightly tipsey. Oversharing was definitly on the cards for the evening.

You and Joon had been roommates for around 3 years now. he was easy tonlive with - tidy, respectful, always giving you book recommendations.

Jungkook was visiting Joon for the weekend and of course Joon - being the lovely housemate that he was - invited you to join and chill with them both this friday evening.

all three of you were sat on the huge squishy sofa that took up most of the living room in the apartment.

Jungkook was sat cross legged, glass of wine held loosely in his tatooed hand, he looked down and then paused…”um..you know i’ve never slept with anyone, right?” he looks up to see your reaction

you almost spat your wine out as you spluttered “really?!” you cant hide your suprise.

Kookie was crazy attractive, 21 years old with black floppy hair falling in a middle part, his broad shoulders and chest, those thighs… you shake your head slightly. you shouldn’t get any ideas, this boy is just a friend of a friend…but you can’t help stare at his hands as he plays with the stem of the wine glass. You find yourself imagining those fingers sliding down your thigh, thumb grazing your mouth..

“Oh Hyung…that’s heartbreaking. a great looking guy like you deserves a good fuck - i mean the first time is a big deal and is overrated if you ask me, but to he hones…you just need to get it over wnd done with. just hope you get lucky and have it with someone who knows what their doing. first time can be fucking terrible…i know mine was, hut that was a while ago now” he shrugs

“Wish i vould help you out man, find you someone or give you some tips or whatveer.” he smiles. namjoon seems genuinly concerned for his friend and you can see he’s trying to think of a solution.

You feel a flutter of nerves bubble up in the pit of your stomach as the thought of taking jungkook’s virginity flickers across your mind. you can feel your face turning red and tuck your hair behind your ear to try and hide your face from tbe two boys sat next to you on the sofa.

Joon’s leg is resting lightly against yours and you suddenly feel his gaze on you.

“y/n you’ve gone awfully quiet” Joon turns to you and sees your blushing cheeks. “oh…” he spots the way you’re looking at Jungkook and it clicks. he knows. Joon fucking knows. he can read you like a book.

“ohhhh shit…like for real?” he laughs smugly at his own brilliance “well it looks like i’ve found someone who would be interested in helping you out Kookie” he slaps his hands on both yours and Jungkooks thighs in a matter of fact way.

“looks like i’ve got a job to do. you two, come with me...” and he leads you both upstairs to the bedroom. 

—

Flash forward and the three of you are up in the bedroom. jungkook standing there, biting his nails nervously and Joon

Jungkook stares at you with wide eyes as you slowly slip off your underwear.

joon tells him what to do

line up - tease her, press against her but don’t enter yet. wait untill she can’t stop herself 

blind folded

on your back

use his mouth

tongue

fingers

traling across her thighs

make her wait for it

bring her close but she’s not allowed to come just yet.

ok good. youve wound her up, she needs something now you’ve teased her like this. you wanna make her come kookie? want me to guide you through it so you can make noona come hard? you want her to be a mess, squirming and crying for more? You want her to take your virgin cock like a good girl?

[vore-scientist]

In Which Sophia Makes Some New Friends

A tale of the Mystic Woods

(read the other stories/comics here, and all posts related to Mystic Woods can be found here)

THIS IS A DIRECT SEQUEL TO THIS STORY

Content warnings: No actual vore in this story, sorry! But discussion of both safe and fatal (I tried to make it humorous/light hearted, it makes sense). Also GT cuddles at the end ;) 

---

Sophia paced around Yonah’s desk. After the unfortunate encounter with the meddlesome prince, Yonah had wandered off to get a healing potion. That was fine, while she waited she admired all the little things on the desk, and the books in languages that she had only begun to learn to read, but that someday she would be fluent in.

“Yonah?” came a voice. “Hey Yonah, you there?”

It was a man’s voice, and it was near. Sophia froze and looked around. The mirror, the small mirror on Yonah’s desk! She ran to it, and saw in it the face of what could only be another wizard.

The man had a red and black mustache, kind green eyes, a big floppy wizard’s hat, and beautiful yellow and blue wizard’s robes, which were accented with silver and black. His hands were behind his back and he was looking around expectantly, until he saw Sophia, and he startled, but recovered fast.

“Sayyyyyyy! You’re not Yonah!” said the man, smiling with suspicion, “Who are you?”

“I’m, I’m Princess Sophia of the Kingdom of Orr!” she declared without thinking. Then a terrible thought struck her, what if this man in the mirror was an evil wizard. Those existed! A continent to the west had an entire Society of Wizards who were always up to some evil.

“A princess...” then the man grinned like an idiot, “WAIT A PRINCESS? No shit!”

His face turned away and he shouted at someone out of view, “SHOSH! HEY SHOSH! YONAH WENT AND KIDNAPPED A PRINCESS!”

“HE DID WHAT! YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING WITH ME MICA!”

“IM SERIOUS COME TO THE MIRROR!”

A moment later a woman, also wearing a wizard’s hat appeared next to Mica and gasped. “oh dear gods that’s a princess alright!” Except for her ruby red lipstick, she had no makeup on, but she had numerous facial piercings. She had wild brown hair and large oval spectacles that made her green-brown eyes appear buggy.

Sophia fidgeted with her gown, she wasn’t some spectacle to be gawked at by whoever these people were. She wished she wasn’t in a blood spattered nightgown. She wished that Yonah was here.

“And who,” said Sophia, as sweet as she could, “are you?”

“Oh how terribly rude of us!” said Mica, still smiling, “I’m Mica, Mica Cohen! And this is Shoshana Jaffe, we’re friends of Yonah and we were hoping to talk to him,”

Sophia was stunned “Yonah has friends!?”

Mica and Shoshana burst out laughing.

“Yes dear girl, he has friends,” said Shoshana, “you can’t stay sane in a prison without them.”

“I’ve been here for two months! How have I not heard of you?” Sophia was planning to chew Yonah out about this when he felt better. What else was he hiding. Probably a lot, wizards liked their secrets... But why would he hide friends from her! How many more friends did he have?

“You mean you’re serious. Yonah hasn’t mentioned us?” Shoshana looked genuinely hurt.

“No! until now I thought he was a sad lonely man!”

The wizards laughed again.

“Well he’s not sad” said Shoshana, “angry more like, but not anymore than your average firewitch.”

“Nor is he really a man, kinda, half a man,” said Mica, thoughtfully.

“Lonely, well now, we wish we could visit more often, he is kinda stuck in one place.”

/Yeah, you can thank my dad for that/ thought Sophia. But thought it was better not to mention Yonah’s semi-house arrest sentence was handed down by her father.

“But now you’re there! This is so wonderful!” said Shoshana with glee, before turning serious, “unless, you’re lying and you’re a giant slayer, disguised as a princess.”

“What?”

“Whose blood are you currently wearing?” she narrowed her eyes.

What an odd way to phrase that, “it’s, well it’s Yonah’s but”

Shoshana raised an eyebrow, something about her presence, even through a mirror grew dark and threatening. Mica remained bright, if scared.

“Um, well you see, there was an incident this morning, with a prince, and…”

She told them what happened. They were a good audience, gasping and cheering at all the right places, and they didn’t interrupt her. Until she got to the part where Yonah ate the prince. They both looked a little green.

“He, ate the prince?” Mica’s voice shook. He and Shoshana exchanged worried looks.

Uh oh. Guess Yonah’s friends didn’t know. Too late now.

“Y-yes, but he spit him out! He ran off after that.” They relaxed, a bit, but continued to look at her suspiciously.

“And then you called” Sophia ended lamely, “that’s it!”

“And the blood?” Shoshana hadn’t noticed that Sophia failed to explain it.

In reality Sophia just forgot.

“Yonah’s… insides got roughed up by the prince’s armor and I ended up in the line of fire when he coughed”

She looked up from her gown to see the two wizard staring past her. Shoshana grinned wickedly.

“Ah, Yonah, Sophia here has been telling us all about your adventure from not moments ago!”

/“SHE WHAT!”/ cried Yonah. Except, as the words made it to his lips a stabbing pain in his throat stopped him, closing his airways as he coughed himself catatonic. So instead he just sat down and stared at the mirror through a slightly teary haze.

“Yonah, this young woman says that you’re a man-eating giant now! Can you lend credence to this? Has our Yonah truly become the monster that the professors said he would? Yonah, eater of men, kidnapper of princesses!” the sarcasm heavy in Shoshana’s voice.

No. no no no no no. no NO. This was not happening. This day was so crappy to begin with.

“He’s not denying it, so it must be true!” Mica said, matter a factly.

This wasn’t at all how he expected this to go down. He had kept his instances of “man-eating” hidden from his friends, sure that they would never speak to him again if they found out that he’d ever eaten a human.

But… they weren’t mad.

Didn’t matter. Getting teased about it was almost worse. He rubbed the moisture from his eyes.

“It’s not like you go around hunting humans” said Mica before getting serious “and it’s not like you were keeping this hidden while in school. You weren’t, right? You didn’t eat anyone at school? Was tasting us not enough?”

For the first time, Mica and Shoshana looked genuinely worried. Maybe they HAD been wrong about Yonah.

“No, No. I-I didnt eat anyone.” said Yonah, his voice high and quiet, he looked scared, “typically, giants only eat those who break into their houses, to steal or to kill” he recited. They’d heard the line before.

And regardless, the school was never his home, Of course he wasn’t ever interested in eating his fellow students. Tasting them was another matter, plenty of them smelled incredible. His friends did and still do occasionally allow him a taste, just to tease him.

Up until Sophia he wouldn’t have even dared to eat them! It was too dangerous. A thief he could risk swallowing and spitting back up before they died. Standard procedure to shock and punish them. And a Slayer’s life was forfeit. When they failed and escaped they usually returned and one way or another someone would end up dead.

“What about professors? I feel like some of them deserve to be eaten” Mica continued, all previous concern now gone, he was back to antagonizing.

“N-no, I just said that-“ but apparently Mica wasn’t listening and Yonah’s interjections fell upon uncaring ears.

“Like Professor Thuorbir! What a prick.” said Mica.

“I think he was also a giant slayer!” said Shoshana, her voice containing energy that Mica’s didn’t even come close to, “you should totally eat him, he’s still an asshole. Fucker rejected my research proposal for a third time!”

Gods this was not happening. Yonah put his now burning face into his hands.

“I’m not gonna eat Mr.Thuorbir,” Yonah managed to say through is stupor. Though he silently agreed that the man certainly deserved it, regardless of giant slaying. His head was buzzing.

Mica looked at Shoshana incredulously

“Shosh, that was because your proposal was to research a spell that would have turned the entire Mystic Woods PINK, down to the littlest ant! None of the professors would have approved that” he said before turning to Sophia. “The one before that, she wanted to propose researching a spell that would give the caster dominion over all bees. All of them. Knowing full well that attempting godhood is ILLEGAL.”

Sophia giggled and tried to imagine her father’s kingdom becoming a uniform shade of pink. Oh dear. Maybe she should tell her father, in case Shoshana actually attempted it.

“Well, just because they don’t want an army of bees” said Shoshana, nose in the air, arms crossed. “And it wasn’t a proposal to actually do it, just to design a spell that could.”

“I hate you both, you know that,” said Yonah.

“We know you mean love!” said Shoshana.

“Anyways, it can’t have really happened,” said Shoshana. “Not the way you said it did at the very least.”

“What do you mean?” Asked Yonah.

Mica looked at her in shock, he had clearly believed the story. This wouldn’t be the first time Shoshana had gone along with a ridiculous farce just for the drama of it, but as far as he knew, Yonah hadn’t spoken to Shoshana that recently, not without him present. And Yonah’s pain was real, his embarrassment was real.

Shoshana sighed and rubbed at her glasses.

“You don’t believe-“ Sophia started to say

“Oh I believe he’s eaten people. Comes with the territory at this point. But you’re” she eyed Yonah, “You’re kind of, too small to swallow a person whole, right? You’d have to, oh I don’t know, rip into them with your teeth like they were a prime rib.”

/Ugh, what a great image, thanks Shosh/ thought Yonah.

“It’s not really worth trying to claim the prince survived for our benefit. If eating people was a dealbreaker we wouldn’t be friends with dragons or ogres or that Sphinx that guards the gates to the tunnels of-“

“Yonah did swallow the prince whole!” Sophia wasn’t about to let the wizards think she had lied, “And yes, he’s killed a few assholes that way but he let the prince live! And thieves too! He eats them all the time but always lets them go!” She was almost shouting now, “And! And Yonah swallows me all the time! And if you haven’t noticed, I’m in one piece.”

All eyes were on her and everyone was silent, no one moved or blinked, but Yonah’s face became scarlet. Sophia played with her dress in her hands, and looked up at Yonah.

“Um, was I not supposed to tell them that?” she squeaked out.

“Yonah HaEsh, how could you!?” Shoshana yelled, no longer playful, “eat a princess!? You could kill her! She’s not a knight or a giant slayer! What on earth were you thinking? So we need to rescue her from you?”

Yonah’s embarrassment had turned to anger as his hair started to smoke and the roots glowed orange. He was breathing sharp breaths, seething with anger, until one got caught sending him into a into another coughing fit and onto the floor. Sophia took the opportunity to rectify her mistake.

But there was no need. Shoshana has gone white.

“Oh dear, I think I overdid it!”

“You think? Now Yonah thinks we hate him! Next time don’t seem so serious,” Mica chided her. Shoshana muttered something about wasting her skills and addressed Sophia again.

“But seriously, how!” she said, “How does he physically manage to swallow a person whole? And you said he eats you all the time! How the fuck has he managed to avoid fucking up and killing you or the thieves!” color had returned to her face. No longer bothered by Yonah’s plight, even though she had caused it. Mica shot her a death glare.

“Oh like you weren’t thinking the same thing!”

Mica sighed. “I was but I have the manners not to voice it. We could have called back tomorrow. But it’s too late now.”

They both looked at Sophia expectantly.

“Oh um, well, the thieves he just spits up real quick but myself... Yonah, enchanted me, so that he can’t hurt me” Sophia explained everything as Yonah wheezed in the background, still on the floor, but no longer in danger of coughing up a lung.

Shoshana’s eyes sparkled with greed. Mica was deep in thought.

“Wait are you sure this was an enchantment, because it sounds like curse.” Mica finally said.

“Well,” said Sophia, “the difference is a matter of perspective isn’t it.”

Which was true. One could see gems falling from ones mouth when one talked as a blessing, until everyone in the kingdom wanted you as their piggy bank and your voice was hoarse from being made to talk non stop and the economy is ruined by your gem contributions. Then it’s a curse. Becoming a glass statue would be a curse, but that’s not how it worked.

“That must have been an expensive procedure,” said Mica.

“It was, but he got the money from my dad,” Sophia made the last few words harsh and final. She was still bitter that her dad had instructed and funded Yonah to traumatize her into running back home. Jokes on him, it hadn’t worked and Yonah was her friend now! Showed him!

“He managed to only cast half a curse! He could publish with a trick like that” she said thoughtfully, but with a touch of envy.

“There would be a problem with rational,” Mica pointed out, “he would have to invent a fake reason! He can’t say he did it so he could eat one specific person and not worry about them dying!”

Shoshana nodded and laughed.

“To answer your other question, I don't know how he does it, because you’re right, by all means he shouldn’t. But even he doesn’t know.” Sophia said, the wizards were disappointed. Sophia tried to brighten their mood by suggesting they investigate it. They considered this with great pleasure.

“I’m just unable to picture it,” She was talking to Sophia again. “I-“ she shuddered with wicked glee as she had a new thought. “ Yes, I’d like to see it for myself. I don’t suppose, since it was your idea to research this, that you would be willing to give us a demonstration?”

That surprised both Sophia and Mica, but Mica’s grin said that he liked that idea.

Now it was Sophia’s turn to go red. Sophia rubbed her back of her head. Let someone watch? Having just seen Yonah eat the prince, she wasn’t sure if she wanted Yonah’s friends to see it. Even if they had joked about him giving into his more monstrous heritage. Sophia had seen it. That side of him did exist. But it had been her idea. She regretted planting the idea in their stupid wizard brains.

“I’ll, consider it, but Yonah’s in no condition right now.”

“Oh of course not dear! Just call us or something, there’s not rush,” Shoshana winked, “especially if it’s a regular occurrence, plenty of opportunities to observe.”

Yes, Sophia was realizing that about the thieves as well. She wondered how regular they were too, and if she could get involved in thief catching. 

Shaking badly, Yonah got up from the floor, pulling himself up to his stool. His face was very red, and his eyes glistened, tears steaming up his face.

Sophia turned to him “They’re over it, I explained it, you can stop being such a big baby and extinguish yourself”

Yonah glared at her but his head stopped smoldering and his eyes were back to brown.

“I think,” he wheezed, “I think I need to lie down, let the healing drought actually take effect.”

“Yonah darling you do look awful, we’ll get out of your hair, but don’t think we are done talking about this! Next time I expect a demonstration!” said Shoshana “goodbye Princess Sophia it was an absolute pleasure meeting your highness!” and before Mica could say a word she waved a hand in front of the mirror, turning it back to a normally mirror.

“Thank you Mirror” Sophia said, placing a hand on the golden edge. It made a small hum of acknowledgement.

“Come on let’s get you to bed,” Sophia looked up at the disheveled and gaunt wizard who picked her up and held her close to his chest as he walked back to his room. The sun had been up for an only hour yet the day felt like it was already over. He needed a nap.

He released Sophia onto the night stand, took off his hat, did not take off his slightly blood stained night robe, and collapsed face forward on the bed, breathing heavily.

Sophia sighed and climbed down the nightstand and using the still loose bed sheets, climbed onto the bed and onto Yonah. He didn’t protest, or make any sign that he knew she was there, but he had to know.

“Hey, you did good today, and your friends still love you, and I’m still your friend. I don’t think you made friends with that prince but he seemed like a dick so who cares.”

A painful chuckle shook from beneath her as Yonah rolled onto his back, Sophia scrambling to keep up with the rotation. Sitting on his chest as he stared up at the ceiling with his eyes closed. he brought his hand up to pet Sophia gently. His hand was warm and rough, and Sophia leaned into it, tickling his palm.

She fell asleep like that, Yonah’s warm hand of a weighted blanket.

Yonah had one last panicked thought before sleep took him.

/Had Shosh said DEMONSTRATION?/

[Thanks for reading! please reblog!]

[archangelgabriellives]

The Night Ended in his Bed

Hey, guess who feels like a complete and utter ASS that I missed the deadline for @nobodys-baby-now birthday bash?

Hint, hint; ITS ME!!

I’m soooooo sorry that this is late! How can a fic that appears so perfectly in my head be so problematic to write?

Anyway, this was written for @nobodys-baby-now because its her birthday! I’m so glad that I get to know such a wonderful person like you. Remember that you are so talented and that we all love you! <3 <3  Based off the song Sarah Smiles by Panic! at the Disco.

words: about 1500

Set during Tall Tales

Female reader!

~~

“I'm sorry, you want me to do what?”

“Please, Y/N,” Sam asked, pulling out his biggest puppy eyes. “We need a distraction so we can search the janitor’s house and his office.”

“So you want  me to go flirt with a guy who may be a Trickster,” you said as you paced the tiny hotel room.

“We don't know that yet,” Sam said, trying his best to convince you.

“Look, just follow the guy,” Dean said as he lounged on the bed. “If he goes to a bar or something, buy him a drink. Have a Purple Nurple or three. Hey, you might even get laid.”

His crude remark had you throwing a world class bitch face at the hunter.

“If he goes home,”Dean continued, oblivious to your stare, “then call us and we'll stick to the office for now.”

“That feels like a massive oversimplification, Dean,” you said.

Dean simply shrugged, eyeing you with a knowing smirk.

“Just because you make that stupid, all knowing face doesn't mean I'll say yes, Dean.”

“Of course not,” Dean snarked back at you.

There was a tense moment of wills, neither you or Dean willing to back off. Finally, Sam stepped in between the two of you, blocking his brother from your view.

“Please, Y/N?” Sam asked again. Your body deflated. You knew you couldn't say no to Sam.

“Fine,” you sighed in defeat, a hand over your eyes, “I'll do it.”

“Awesome!” Den pumped a fist in victory.

All you could do was roll your eyes and sigh.

I was fine, just a guy living on my own, Waiting for the sky to fall. Then you called and changed it all, doll. Velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in. We both know you'd already win. Mm, your original sin.

Gabriel had finished his shift for the day without running into the Winchesters again. He knew exactly who they were when they rolled up with that electrician routine. Hunters were always a risk with his Trickster persona, but they could never kill him with a sharpened stick with a little blood on it.

All this meant is that it was close. The day when it all ended and Lucifer and Michael finally had their prize fight for the planet.

Frankly, Gabriel couldn't wait. He just wanted it to be over. Maybe then the fighting would finally stop.

As he locked up for the day and headed out to make his way back home, he could tell he was being watched. He felt around a little with his pagan magic and felt a hunter that wasn't one of those Winchesters. He hadn't met this one yet.

A smirk fell across his face, Gabriel knew a tail when he saw one.

Ok, he thought, we can have some fun now.

He walked past her hiding place confidently, whistling a tune as he totally ignored her. He strolled calmly along the streets, able to keep an eye on his stalker as she bounced around from one hiding place to another.

Gabriel kept walking, heading to one of the main bars that the students at Crawford Hall frequented. It was crowded already, and he walked straight up to the bar and ordered two shots.

He knew when she came in. Hell, with how she slammed the door open, he didn't even have to use his powers to know she was here. He kept his eyes forward, waited for her to make the first move.

It was a few minutes later that the seat next to Gabriel was occupied. The Trickster was only a little surprised.

“Buy you a drink?” Gabriel asked, throwing all his charm into those waggling eyebrows and his easy smirk.

“I can buy my own drinks, thanks.”

“Hey, I like a woman who can take care of herself,” Gabriel said as he threw back one of the shots. He sucked in a breath at the burn of liquor and slammed the shot glass down with a groan. “What’s your name, sugar?”

She looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out if it was safe to tell him the truth or not, Gabriel figured. After a pause, she spoke up. “Y/N,” she said.

“Well, Y/N, would you like to buy your own drink and talk with me for a while?” Gabriel’s eyes sparkled a little in the light, and a smile danced across his face.

Y/N’s face softened, her own smile growing on her lips, and Gabriel found his stomach flipping at the beauty he found there. “Why the hell not,” she said, calling the bartender over.

They closed down the bar, Y/N forgetting about Sam, Dean and the hunt for a while.

Waking up to a kiss and you're on your way. I'd really hoped that you would stay, But you left and went your own way, babe. I don't mind, take your time, I got things to do Besides sit-around-and-wait-for-you. Oh and I hope you do too.

When your eyes opened, the sunlight was drifting into the room. You were comfortable, wrapped up in a blanket so soft you never wanted to leave it again. So you snuggled down deeper, pulling the blanket even tighter around you.

An arm slowly snaked its way around your waist, and a grumbling from your back caused you to snap awake.

“Nnnno, too early. Sleep now.”

SHIT!!

All your memories from the night before flooded you. Following the janitor, telling him your real name (They call me Gabriel, he said after his second shot), drinking and leaving the bar, going back to his place!

Oh my god, you thought, Sam and Dean are gonna kill me.

Slowly, carefully, you tried to slink out from Gabriel's grip without waking him. You needed to get out of here, right now. You had almost made it out of the bed without waking Gabriel up, when a hand gently grabbed onto your arm.

“Wh’re ya goin’, bby?”

The voice, still slurred from sleep, caused your whole body to tense up. You wracked your brain for an excuse, anything to get you out of his home faster.

“Umm, I...” your voice was shaky, and as you turned back to him your breath caught in your throat.

The morning light fell on the bed, and it made the air around Gabriel glow. His sleep mussed hair looked far too adorable to be legal In the bright dawn light you could see those two beautiful eyes looking at you, the golden color burning with...something. Hope, apprehension maybe.

Oh no, he’s cute.

The tension drained from your body, and you couldn’t help the easy smile that crossed your face.

“I have to get to work.” Well, it wasn't really a lie. “Got people waiting for me.”

Gabriel blinked slowly, and mumbled something that must have been an agreement.

You breathed out a soft laugh, and before you could stop yourself, your hands were in his soft hair, pushing the wild mane back from his face. You dipped low, pushing the blankets back a little to get to him, and Gabriel lifted his head to meet you for a gentle kiss.

For a moment, you didn't know why you did that. But the ease of it, the way it made your stomach flutter and your heart race, you really liked it. Your fingers found their way to his hair again, and you felt like you didn't want to leave.

“Should stay,” Gabriel murmured, seemingly reading your thoughts. But you couldn't stay. Sam and Dean had to finish the job. Something was killing people at this college.

“Wish I could.” The sincerity of your statement surprised you. “But,” you paused for a beat, “I’ll see you around.”

At that, Gabriel’s eyes opened. He looked at you, any sleepiness seemed to dissolve away, and you squirmed at his gaze from under the blanket.

“Yeah, ok,” he eventually spoke. “See ya ‘round.”

You frowned at the tone. It felt like his gaze could see right through you, and you briefly wondered if he really could. But the thought passed as he gave you another tender grin and snuggled back into his blankets. With one more squeeze to his arm, you got up, gathered your things, and left to find Sam and Dean.

~

When the door shut behind her, Gabriel sat up in his bed. He watched the door, knowing full well that she wasn't coming back. A noisy sigh left him. With a snap of his fingers, his little dog came running and jumped up on the bed, excited for the attention. Gabriel scratched behind his floppy ears and gave a half hearted smile at the dog kisses.

“Oh, buddy,” he lamented as he thought of Y/N and the two Winchesters coming to ‘kill’ him, “this one's gonna hurt.”

Gabriel x Reader tags

@nobodys-baby-now @booknerd1324 @tvshowobsessedhuman @thewhiterabbit42

Everything tags

@doctor-zyre @ourloveisforthelovely @authoressskr @superwhoavengelocketc-blog @sumara62 @mscrazycatbitch @emmii4 @redberrysweets @space-time-paradox @tgpanther @anxietywontmakethewordsgo  @acarpouschimerical @warlockwriter @l4life

[thehomierobbstark]

Waffles

Part 1.5 Part 2

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

Prompt: @yung-glvdn-goddess

A/N: Ok, y’all, we slowing it down a little bit with this fic. This only gonna be two parts though, so the good stuff is comin. It just didn’t feel right putting it in the same chapter. 

Super special shoutout to @cawifornia for all the laughs in helping me out with this! We had too much fun XD.

Warnings: Mad fluff, tiny bit of Daddy kink, pero no smut (yet). Visuals are included.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No! Bring that back! Waffles!”

You chase your puppy across the room as she takes off with your shoe, tail wagging enthusiastically behind her. You were so entranced with her adorable floppy ears you didn’t even see the tiny devil swipe your heel from under the bed.

You and Erik had just adopted her a month ago, and you were still getting into the swing of training her. You knew it would take a while before she was able to grasp commands like ‘sit’ and ‘down’, but you’re pretty sure she should’ve started to grasp ‘no’ by now. Especially since that’s all you ever seemed to be saying lately.

“Waffles! NO don’t chew that one! That’s mommy’s favorite!!!” You screech as you run after her, her chubby little legs clumsily buckling under her as she tries to round the corner. You scoop her up before she can make a run for it towards the living room, and weasel your blue suede platform out of her mouth.

“If daddy see’s you chewing on this he’s gonna kill us both!” you admonish into her ear, and she turns to nip you on the nose before sloppily licking your face, making you giggle.

Seeing as blue was your favorite color, Erik always went above and beyond in providing you with amazing gifts in the shade, each always managing to take your breath away more than the last. He gifted you things in other colors as well, but every time you saw something blue you knew it was his way of expressing his deep affection for you without having to use words.

It’d started on your one month anniversary, with a gorgeous box of blue roses he’d left on your doorstep. You were surprised Erik was the type to celebrate something so trivial, let alone remember the date, but when you walked in the door while searching for a card amongst the roses, you looked up to find him shuffling from foot to foot in your entryway.  That was the day he’d confessed his love for you.

The second time had been when he’d gifted you your blue platforms, currently wet with puppy saliva, which you’d found on the bed the morning after a night spent at his place. It had been three months you’d been together then, and he’d planned an evening out for the both of you; dinner at your favorite Japanese restaurant, dessert while overlooking the canal in the center of town. You had no idea that Erik “Killmonger” Stevens could be so traditionally romantic, and that night he’d undressed you with his mouth, leaving your heels on to remind you of who you belonged to.

The most recent gift had been by far the cutest. You’d come home exhausted from work to find Erik waiting for you in the kitchen, arms behind his back hiding something from you.  He made you close your eyes and hold out your hands, before placing something in them. When he instructed you to open your eyes, you looked down to see a Tiffany & Co. box, tied with a bow. You’d looked up to Erik with a wide eye’d look of almost terror, ready to immediately decline the gift because it was too much. He was generous with his gifts, but he’d never given jewelry before, and you didn’t want him thinking he had to literally spoil you to keep you. Before you could get a word out though, he’d interrupted you.

“Before you let ya mouth get ahead of you, open it first.” he’d teased, and you rolled your eyes at him before listening.

Untying the bow you’d opened the box, and found a black leather dog collar resting on the silk padding. You picked it up, voice caught in your throat as your excitement started to bubble over. You’d opened your mouth to speak, but he’d interrupted you again with a raise of his hand, reaching down to pluck the silk padding from the box to reveal an accompanying friendship bracelet. It was blue.

That night you’d spent the entire evening in bed researching adoption centers, arguing about which puppy you were going to adopt.

“Nah, babe, we not getting no damn foo foo ass dog.”

“Nigga you bought it a Tiffany collar, it’s already gonna be foo foo by default.”

“Man, whatever. You know that was mostly for yo lil bougie ass anyway.”

“Good. Then my lil bougie ass gets to pick the dog.”

He griped in your lap, arms wrapped around your waist as he’d watched you click around on the computer.

You’d paused, gasping.

“No.”

“Erik!”

“Y/N, no.”

“But she’s so cute! Look at her widdle ears!!”

“I am lookin at her damn ears, why they so fuckin hairy!?”

“She’s a dog, Erik!”

“And? Shit look like a baby Chewbacca.”

“How bout you Chewbacca that damn patch in yo beard, nigga.”

He still hadn’t forgiven you for that one.

But, after 15 minutes of back and forth roasting that ended with you having a sore ass, he begrudgingly agreed to go with you in the morning to see about adopting her.

And here you all were. One month later and Waffles had fit perfectly into your little family. She’d even managed to grow on Erik, which shocked the hell out of you, especially when you’d caught him cradling her tiny body in his arms on the couch, both of them knocked out after a long day. It was only her second night home. While Erik would never admit it, you knew why he’d fallen for her. It was those big, floppy, hairy ears of hers.

You admired the collar around Waffles’ neck, and the one around your wrist, while you stroked her ears. The lock to the front door clicked, breaking you from your reverie. You turned to see Erik walking  through the front door, and started talking excitedly in Waffles’ ear.

“Who is that? Who is it baby girl? Is that daddy?”

Erik stood in the doorway, shaking his head as he chuckled at you baby talking the dog.

She wiggled around eagerly in your arms, her little body jerking this way and that as she buzzed with joy.

You crouched down and placed her on the floor, still holding her as you spoke some more.

“You wanna say hi to daddy? Go say hi to daddy! Go!”

You let her go and her nails skitted across the hardwood floor as she took off, plowing clumsily into Erik’s shoe when she reached him.

You laughed as Erik swept her up in one of his big hands, peppering kisses all over her ears.

“Wassup Pancakes? Huh?” She kissed his face with enthusiasm, happy her partner in crime was finally home.

Walking toward you, Erik started to whisper loudly in her ear, so that you could hear, too.

“You better tell ya moms to stop callin me Daddy before I put a real baby in her,” he warned, his eyes holding something sinister behind them.

You roll your eyes and reach out to him, pulling him to you by his shirt.

“Hi Daddy. How was your day?” you look up at him, grinning innocently.

He puckers his lips in a fake frown, nodding slowly as he looks away.

“Oh you thought I was playin? Okay.” He walks over to the patio, opening the screen door and placing Waffles outside. “Bounce lil nigga.”

Walking back, he pulls at the sleeves of his leather jacket, taking it off, and you can see the definition of his muscles stretching the white V neck shirt he was wearing.

He takes a finger and holds up your hand, the one still holding the blue pump.

“Wheres the other one?” he asks, eyeing you in a way that already starts to make your insides turn.

“Upstairs.” You answer, trying to keep your breath from hitching.

“Go get it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Mothers Day homies!! Whether you’re celebrating with your mother figures, kids, or just hangin with your furry babies, I hope you have a great day!❤️❤️

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #9

Chapter 9: Puzzles WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Lynsie...Are you sure it was okay to not get fully healed?" "Flowey, I am not in the mood to deal with Sans's bullshit." "Well...You kind of..." "Don't you fucking dare side with him. I didn't start shit! I ate an ice cream pop. That's all I did. If he wants to think I was doing something suggestive, that's on him and his sinful mind. Not me. So if he wants to be a turd about it, fine." "I don't know. It seems like he was trying to help. Even if he was doing a crappy job doing so." "Oh, so now you trust him?" "Not completely. But monsters don't try to heal others unless they really mean it." "...*sigh* Give me time to cool off. He said some stuff I wasn't ready to hear and I need time to process. Okay?" "Understood. Hard to think that mom would..." "Don't! Don't even say it! I will drop you if you even dare say those next words and not come back." "Uh...H-Hey look! A random signpost. We should read it." Flowey laughs nervously and I roll my eyes. I don't like feeling this way. I want to calm down. I guess I can try doing things his way for a bit. It'll let me clear my head even if only for a little while. So I go over to this thing. Almost instantly we are looking at this thing in puzzlement. "You seeing what I'm seeing?" "I am but I am so unsure right now." [Warning: Dog Marriage] [Yes, you read that correctly.] "Is that really something to be warned about?" "I think it means the dog guards here are a pair. So two dogs in one encounter." "Oh, so like that time those three Moldsmals tripped us up." "Or that time Migosp, Vegetoid, and Loox attacked." "Is three the max limit that can attack me? Because it really feels that way." "Yeah, it's a built-in rule to the Fight Zone's magic." "There are rules to it?" "It doesn't seem like it because most fights are straightforward, but there are a few that were made a very long time ago. Like the max per fight is a 3v3. But a little-known rule is that none fighting people can enter the zone mid-fight and not be involved." "How does that work?" "When a fight starts, a special kind of magic activates. This magic is called the Fair Fight Field and it takes the form of a grid that only the ones involved can see." "I was wondering what that thing was." "The grid makes sure that those in the fight are the only ones to be there. Keeping others out that would join in and fight as well. This is the part that gets odd. Those with negative intentions can't enter the field, but those with positive or no intentions can enter it." "Good luck on that ever happening here." "True. The odds of that happening are about as rare as someone helping you in a fight." "Wait...So you wouldn't help me?" "Not if I don't have to." "Awww...You do care." He groans and I keep reading. [SMELL DANGER RATING] [Snow Smell - Snowman WHITE Rating - Can become YELLOW Rating] [Unsuspicious Smell - Puppy BLUE Rating - Smell of rolling around.] [Weird Smell - Humans GREEN Rating - Destroy at all costs!] "So I'm a weird smell? Do you think snow and blood will cover that up?" "*shrug* Maybe? But why is the word green in red?" "Dogs have a form of color blindness. Maybe that's the way they can see that color." "Huh. Did not know that." "HUMAN!" Papyrus comes following our not so discrete trail. "Hey, Papyrus. Something the matter?" He paces his way up to me. "SEEING AS YOU'RE NOT DEAD, NO, NOTHING'S THE MATTER." I look at him funny and he glares. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE HURT OR NOT. ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME IS THAT YOU ARE MY TARGET AND NO ONE ELSE'S. I DON'T WANT THE DOGS IN THIS AREA TO STEAL WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE." I can't help the small blush that creeps onto my face. His possessiveness touches on my inner need to feel wanted. Even if it's not the best reason to have this feeling, try telling that to my stupid needy soul. "Well then...I am pleased to hear that. Because frankly, I don't think these dogs are worth my time." He cocks an eye at that but the smirk he has tells me he liked what he heard. "So...Where's your bro?" "SANS HAS BEEN SENT AHEAD TO INFORM THE MUTTS THAT YOU ARE TO BE LEFT TO US TO HANDLE." "Are you sure that they will listen to him? After all, you did say it was odd for someone to listen to Sans." "HMMM...YOU DO HAVE A POINT. VERY WELL. I SHALL PERSONALLY ESCORT YOU TO EACH PUZZLE AND PREVENT THOSE CANINE NOBODIES FROM DISOBEYING THEIR COMMANDING OFFICER." "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you don't whack them on the nose with rolled up newspaper when they are bad dogs." "REPLACE THE WORD 'NOSE' WITH 'BODY', THE WORD 'WHACK' WITH 'BEAT', AND THE WORD 'NEWSPAPER' WITH 'BASEBALL BAT' THEN YOU'D BE MORE CORRECT IN THAT IDEA." "Damn! Royal Guard Papyrus doesn't play around." He smiles a bit with pride before stepping past me. "COME ALONG, HUMAN. THE NEXT PUZZLE IS NEAR." It's weird. He makes me feel chipper. Like, I know he's an ass. But he has these moments where you can forget he's an ass and can be a bit pleasant almost. "Sure, Papyrus. Anything you say." "OBEDIENCE? NOW THERE'S SOMETHING I CAN GET USED TO." "Don't be a jackass and you'll find I'll be very willing to listen." "NOTED." I follow him for a bit till he stops at double row of spikes blocking the way. "Yo, what gives?" "WE'VE STOPPED BECAUSE THIS IS THE NEXT PUZZLE. TO PROGRESS ANY FURTHER, YOU MUST FIND THE SWITCH THAT LOWERS THESE SPIKES. OTHERWISE, YOU AND I AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE." I give him a look. "I bet the switch is in that other part of the area we didn't even look at." He flinches and I scoff. "For real? You guys made it that easy?" "N-NO. THE SWITCH IS CAREFULLY HIDDEN AND BLENDS IN WITH THE LAND. THERE'S NO WAY YOU'LL FIND IT SO..." "It's in the snow, isn't it?" He gets this look of embarrassment and rage mixed together. A clear sign telling me to leave. "I'll go flip the switch. Be right back." "*STERN* YES. YOU GO DO THAT." I travel back up the way we came and make a right where three trees hide a square indent in the snow that sits in the middle of them. [There's a switch hidden in the snow.] "It's insulting that they made this one so easy." "Could've been worse. That microwave one was stupidly crazy." "I get the feeling the last half of these puzzles are going to be lame." I step in the center of the square. [Click!] [The switch is stuck now.] "...Did this thing just call me fat?" "Before you freak out, try pressing it again." I step off and step back on. [Click!] "Okay. Now I'm not so annoyed." I step back again. [Click!] "*YELLS* QUICK DICKING AROUND OVER THERE!" The two of us snicker and return to bothered Papyrus. I surmise his mood based on the folded arms and foot tapping. "Something bugging you, oh great and terrible, Papyrus?" "*GROWL* GET MOVING, HUMAN. THERE ARE THREE MORE PUZZLES BEFORE WE REACH TOWN. AND THE NEXT PUZZLE IS BROKEN INTO THREE PARTS WITH INCREASING DIFFICULTY." "So you do know how to make a proper puzzle? I'm shocked." He readies his hand to strike me again but pauses mid-swing when I wince at the impending hit. "THAT MOUTH OF YOURS WILL GET YOU KILLED. YOU'D DO BEST TO LEARN HOW TO KEEP IT SHUT BEFORE I LOSE ME PATIENCE. AM I CLEAR, HUMAN?" Is he showing restraint? Best not poke this bear and take what little good he offers. "Yes, sir." He motions me to start moving and I obey. He walks behind me as we make our way past the spike line and over a small bridge. The path continues to our right and all seems well. This isn't the case for long as two figures begin to approach. Papyrus puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me to be at his side. This must be the dog couple. They are near identical in appearance being white furred dogs with red eyes. Both having round snouts, floppy ears, muscular builds that have scars from what I'll guess is fights, and clawed paws. They wear black hooded tattered robes caked with dried bloodstains that have the face of their spouse printed on the front. Their main differences in appearance being the male's thick lowered brow, cowlick, and pseudo-mustache, while the female just has emphasized eyelashes. They both wield large battleaxes that are decorated with eyes that show features imitating those of their owners and fanged intimidating painted mouths. "STAY PUT, HUMAN. I'LL DEAL WITH THEM." "You don't have to tell me twice." They almost end up walking right past us if it weren't for one of them catches the faintest hint of smell. "What's that smell?" "Where's that smell?" I guess blood and snow don't make a foolproof scent shield when in such small amounts. Not even Papyrus's bones divert attention. But I can guess the attraction to bones was beaten out over time. "If you're a smell..." "...identify yoursmellf!" "SUCH ABSIMUL ARTICULATION." "You read my mind." They start sniffing the air as we step away, trying to leave before they give us any real attention. But the sudden stares in my direction alert us to that being not an option anymore. "Hmmm...Here's that weird smell...It makes me want to eliminate." "...Eliminate YOU!" Papyrus summons a bone and I start to growl. "YOU WORTHLESS DOGS WILL NOT LAY A SINGLE PAW ON THIS HUMAN." "We're not single." "We're married." "*GROAN* YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT! DON'T PLAY STUPID!" The brandish their axes. "Weird smell means human." "Humans must be eliminated." Single-minded creatures these dogs be. "Whine. Whimper. Beg. No mercy for the weird smell!" "Misery awaits you. Kneel and suffer!" "I THINK IT'S TIME SOMEONE PUT YOU FLEABAGS DOWN. PERMINATELY!" "Hang on..." I hold his bone down and he snarls harshly. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" "You don't need to kill them." "OH? AND WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE THEN?" I motion him to bend down and I whisper where an ear would be if he had any. "HMMM...NOT THE MOST IDIOTIC IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD. BUT STILL FOOLISH." "Come on. What do you have to lose? If this fails, you get to kill them. I'm sure the second in command to the Royal Guard can easily dispatch two dogs. So why waste your magic, energy, and time on such nonsense?" Papyrus gives me a stern look while in thought. "I SUPPOSE YOU DO HAVE A POINT. SUCH LOWLY THINGS ARE BENEATH ME." "Then we have a deal?" "YES. DO AS YOU WISH, HUMAN." He lets the bone fade and I scoop up some snow. "Yo, doggies. Wanna play fetch?" That seems to strike a chord with the dogs. "Fetch?" "Human's play fetch?" Using some of my blood to smear onto the snow, I make two reddish snowballs and tease them with it. "See the balls? Smell the balls? You want them, don't you? Don't you, puppers?" "PUPPERS?" "Mock me after, not during." Papyrus goes to speak, but seeing as the dog couple is now wagging their tails in excitement, he remains silent and allows me to continue. "You want the balls? Say you want the balls." They bark and drop on all fours. "Then go fetch!" I hurl both snowballs as hard as I can back from whence we came and they shoot off after them. "We should go now before they come back." "AGREED." We continue onward. Papyrus covers our tracks with more snow and that should keep the dogs from tracing our scent. "TELL ME, HUMAN. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WOULD WORK?" "'Elementary, my dear Papyrus...They are dogs. And dogs are governed by the most simple of instincts. Even with training, a dog will want to do what it naturally wants to do. Such as getting petted, going for walks, and of course, playing fetch. I merely exploited this and thus, we are able to go about our merry way." He chuckles and pats my back. "CLEVER GIRL. YOU SURPRISE ME WITH SUCH DEVIOUS TACTICS. I MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN WE MEET ON THE BATTLEFIELD." "Do not take me so lightly. I will not use tricks on you." "REALLY?" "Mostly because I don't wish to fight you." "HEH HEH...FRIGHTENED ALREADY I SEE?" "Fear has nothing to do with it. I just know better than to mess with the guy that halved my HP with a simple smack." "MMMM..." "What? What was that for?" "NOTHING. JUST THINKING OF HOW MUCH I'M GOING TO ENJOY CRUSHING YOU IS ALL." "Hey, don't think just because I don't want to fight you that'll mean I'll go down easy. I took on an LV level 3 Boss Monster and won." "IS THAT SO? WELL THEN...IT SEEMS YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY MAKE THINGS INTERESTING AFTER ALL." "What does that mean?" "I NOTICE YOU ARE AT AN LV LEVEL OF 1. NOW WHILE YOU DO POSSESS A RATHER DECENT ARRAY OF STATS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD AN EASY TIME AGAINST A MONSTER AT LV LEVEL 3. WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE OF TWO THINGS." "Oh, do tell." "ONE, YOU CHEATED." "I did not!" "OR TWO, YOU WERE SKILLED ENOUGH TO COME OUT ON TOP." "That one. That one I did." "HOWEVER...IF YOU DID WIN SUCH A FIGHT, THEN SURELY YOUR LV WOULD HAVE INCREASED. WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE YOU ARE A DIRTY CHEATER." "Bullshit! I am not a cheater! I won all my fights fair and square! The only reason my LV is still at 1 is because I don't kill anyone I fight!" He stops in his tracks in confusion. "YOU DON'T KILL YOUR OPPONENT?" "No." "WHY?" Now I'm the confused one. "What do you mean why? I don't want to kill anyone and I don't have to in order to win." "BUT YOU'RE WASTING EXP. THE MORE YOU GET, THE STRONGER YOU WILL BECOME." "I've been getting strong fairly well without resulting in murder, thank you very much." "THEN YOU ARE DOOMED TO MEET YOUR END HERE, HUMAN." "What did I tell you? Don't think just because I don't want to fight you that'll mean I'll go down easy. I have no intention of dying. I have someone that cares about me too much to let her down. So whatever mind fuckery you or your bro plan on doing to mess me up, well just forget it. Ain't nothing gonna bring me down!" "CHECK ME." "W-What?" "I SAID, CHECK ME." I have a bad feeling about this. [CHECK selected.] [Papyrus – HP: 4000 ATK: 200 DEF: 200 – He likes to say: "Nyeh heh heh!"] I feel all the blood drain from my face and he grins with arrogance in knowing that he got me. "DO YOU SEE NOW, HUMAN? THOSE ARE THE STATS OF NOT ONLY AN LV LEVEL 6 MONSTER, BUT AN LV LEVEL 6 MONSTER THAT CAN AND WILL ENJOY EVERY MOMENT BREAKING YOU UNTIL YOU ARE BEGGING ME TO PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR SAD MISERY." I have made a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mistake in leaving the Ruins. "WHAT SAY YOU NOW, HUMAN? DO YOU STILL THINK YOU CAN FACE ME AND LIVE?" [You feel like you're going to have a bad time.] "I'LL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS A NO. REALIZATION CLEARLY GRIPS YOU. NOTHING THAT WILL POP INTO THAT HEAD OF YOURS WILL BEAT ME. NO TRICK IS TOO CLEVER. NO SKILL IS TOO PERFECT. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. AND THAT, HUMAN, IS WEAK. AND ONCE THE SMOKE CLEARS AND YOU LIE DEAD IN THE SNOW, I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, WILL CLAIM YOUR SOUL AS MY PRIZE. WITH IT, I WILL ACHIEVE MY ULTIMATE GOAL! WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT...RECOGNITION...I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO TAKE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE AS CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL BOW IN MY SHADOW! I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF MY ENEMIES BLOOD EVERY MORNING. I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL SHOW YOU ALL WHO IS THE GREATEST MONSTER OF ALL TIME!" He laughs maniacally into the wind and I am filled with so much regret right now. This dude is nuts. A tiny bit sad in his motives, but way too crazy for me to handle with this level of ambition. I'm just gonna slowly walk away. Maybe he won't notice if I... "LEAVING SO SOON?" I flinch with a nervous laugh. "Leaving? N-No...No I wasn't leaving. I was just...going to get ahead start on the next puzzle! Yeah! We have so many puzzles to do! Best not waste more time. Hehe..." He eyes me funny. "YOU'RE AS BAD AS SANS WHEN IT COMES TO LYING. BUT...YOU'RE NOT WRONG. WE'VE SPENT ENOUGH TIME DADDLING." He drags me a bit further to a spot where fifteen stones are set up like an H with two blue Xs in the open spaces. A sign is near it. [Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.] "Okay...And how I do that exactly?" "THE XOXO PUZZLES ARE PUZZLES WHERE YOU HAVE TO TURN ALL THE BLUE X'S INTO RED O'S WITHOUT STEPPING ON THE O'S AGAIN OR ELSE THE TILE TURNS INTO A GREEN TRIANGLE. PRESSING ON THE SWITCH FOUND IN EACH PUZZLE RESETS THE SWITCH IF THE PUZZLE IS INCOMPLETE. PRESSING ON THE SWITCH WHEN ALL THE TILES ARE RED O'S SOLVES THE PUZZLE AND TURN THE PUZZLE INTO GREEN O'S. THERE ARE THREE VARIANTS OF THIS PUZZLE THAT CAN BE FOUND IN SNOWDIN FOREST. THIS IS THE SIMPLEST OF THE THREE. I EXPECT YOU TO SOLVE IT WITH NO ISSUE." This first version of the puzzle only contains two tiles that need to be stepped on and the switch is nearby. Seeing as there are spikes once more blocking the way, completion of this puzzle gets rid of the spikes. I walk over one X and jump over the center rock to land on the other X. Now both are red O's and I hit the switch to make the spikes drop. "Tah-dah!" "EXCELLENT. WE MAY PROCEED WITH NEXT STAGE." We continue on for a bit till the path becomes blocked by a snarling armored dog. This dog's fur is a light cream color, red eyes, and its red tongue appears to be perpetually lolling out of its mouth. It wears gray metal armor with a black band around the waist and wrist areas. It holds a serrated sword and a spiked shield with the Delta Rune emblazoned on it. "STAND DOWN, LESSER DOG. THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU." Lesser Dog growls defiantly. "ANOTHER STUBBORN MONGREL. CARE TO DEAL WITH IT FOR ME, HUMAN?" "Really?" "JUST BE QUICK ABOUT IT." "As you wish." I step forward and Lesser Dog bangs its sword on its shield. "Cute. Now...How to go about this? Hmmm...Flowey?" "You called?" "What do we have in there that doesn't contain chocolate or tomato?" "Let me see..." Flowey roots around for a bit before pulling out a bag. "Will a bologna sandwich work?" "Perfect." I snatch the bag and tear a chunk off. "*whistle* You hungry, pupper? Want a treat?" "AGAIN WITH THE PUPPER?" "Don't hate because I get shit done." Lesser Dog's growling lessens and it cautiously takes a few steps toward me. "It's okay. I'm not gonna do anything. You can have this." Once Lesser Dog is with an attack range of me, it holds the shield up at the ready and moves closer with that sword aimed at my chest. Slowly it leans it's head out to my outstretched hand and sniffs the food before lapping it up. Its tail is wagging, a very good sign. "Good, right?" "*tiny bark*" "Want more?" "*bark*" I tear off more sandwich and feed Lesser Dog. We repeat this till the food is gone and Lesser Dog has gotten more trusting. This allows me to begin petting it. Oddly though, the more I pet Lesser Dog, the more its neck begins to grow. And each pet is met with that annoying box smarting off to me. [You barely lifted your hand and Lesser Dog got excited.] [Lesser Dog is barking excitedly.] [You lightly touched the Dog. It's already overexcited...] [You pet the Dog. It raises its head up to meet your hand.] [You pet the Dog. It was a good Dog.] [Lesser Dog is overstimulated.] "OKAY, HUMAN, YOU CAN STOP NOW." [You pet the Dog. Its excitement knows no bounds.] [Critical pet! Dog excitement increased.] [You have to jump up to pet the Dog.] [You don't even pet it. It gets more excited.] [Lesser Dog shows no signs of stopping.] "HUMAN, THAT IS ENOUGH." [There is no way to stop this madness.] [Lesser Dog enters the realm of the clouds.] [You call the Dog but it is too late. It cannot hear you.] [...] [You can reach Lesser Dog again.] [You pet Lesser Dog.] [Lesser Dog is lowering.] "I SAID, STOP!" "I can't! I must pet the pupper!" [It's possible that you may have a problem.] [Lesser Dog is learning to read.] [Lesser Dog is unpettable but appreciates the attempt.] [Lesser Dog is whining because it can't see you.] [Hello there.] [Perhaps mankind was not meant to pet this much.] "I SWEAR TO ASGORE, I WILL BREAK YOUR HANDS IF YOU DON'T STOP!" "But I have so much love to give!" [It continues.] [Lesser Dog is questioning your choices.] [Lesser Dog is beyond your reach.] [Lesser Dog has gone where no Dog has gone before.] [Really...] "THAT IS IT!" Papyrus literally has to remove me from petting Lesser Dog so the poor thing can retract its neck. In the entire event of the petting, Lesser Dog's neck stretched all the way to the cave ceiling and came back down before going back up again. I have no clue how it did that, but I'm glad it's not in pain from doing all that. It whimpers and whines, wanting more petting but Papyrus shoots it a glare that makes it flee. Poor thing retreats ahead of us with its tail tucked between its legs. "AMAZING...EVEN IN THAT ARMOR, IT MANAGED TO LEAP OVER THE SPIKES." "Awww...Poor pup wanted more pets." "NO! NO MORE PETTING! YOU HAVE A PETTING ADDICTION. AND THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK YOU OF SUCH A HABIT IS TO GO COLD TURKEY." "That and to keep my mind off the idea of petting." "YES. WHICH IS WHY YOU WILL NOW FOCUS ALL THOUGHT ON PART TWO OF THE XOXO PUZZLE." He puts me down in front of said puzzle. It's the same as the first one, only now there twenty-five rocks in a weird shape and fifteen X's. Even the sign says the same thing. [Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.] "I see you made this one more interesting." "HMMM... HOW DO I SAY THIS? WHEN WE STARTED ALL THIS, YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO GET GOING. SO...I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND BEFORE I COULD CRAFT IT INTO THE PROPER SHAPE. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT BUT STILL AS CHALLENGING. AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND." "How far ahead did you have him teleport anyway?" "eh, not too far." There on the other side of the spikes is Sans. He waves innocently at us and Papyrus stomps his foot in annoyance. "DAMN IT, SANS! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!" "don't get snippy with me. i've been doing what ya asked." "THE HELL YOU HAVE! I TOLD YOU TO MAKE SURE THE DOGS WOULDN'T INTERFERE." "what do ya think i've been doing? i took care of greater dog and i got lesser dog away from his post. only now he's back there, thanks to you. did the dogi cause you trouble?" "DOGAMY AND DOGARESSA WERE DEALT WITH BY THE HUMAN." "r-really?" "SHE EVEN DEALT WITH LESSER DOG. SHAME SHE DIDN'T KILL THEM. SHE COULD USE ALL THE EXP SHE CAN GET." I move away to start the puzzle while they do whatever shit they will likely do. The second version of the puzzle is a larger puzzle, true, but not as challenging as they probably intended it to be. The puzzle can be solved by walking over the tiles correctly in one continuous path, but there's a simpler way to do it. I go over each X and step over any rock that blocks me. This solves the puzzle in a shorter time than it would be had I walked around the damn thing. I walk over to the switch and almost push it until something shiny gets my attention. I mosey over to the tree at the start of this little area and move some of the lower branches. "What the hell?" [There's a switch on the trunk of this tree.] "A secret? Should I...Duh! Press the button." [CLICK] Nothing happens. I shrug as I go to the normal switch and push it, causing the spikes to drop down. This gets the bickering brothers attention. "huh, looks like the kid found the safety switch." "CONGRATULATIONS, HUMAN! YOU PASSED THE SECOND PART." My eye twitches. "Safety switch? Why was there a safety switch?" "SIMPLE REALLY. TO STOP THE MOTION DETECTER FROM RELEASING THE SPIKES INTO YOU WHEN YOU ATTEMPTED CROSSING." "What?" All Sans does is shrug as if to answer me for the both of them. I slap a hand over my face and sigh. "The two of you will be the death of me." "THAT IS THE IDEA." "more or less." "EITHER WAY, THE NEXT PUZZLE BEGINS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS AREA. SANS, YOU DID REMEMBER TO DEACTIVATE THE MACHINE, CORRECT?" "yeah, yeah, it's off. though it acted funny." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "i don't know. it was like it didn't want to be turned off." "DON'T BE STUPID, SANS. IT'S A MACHINE. IT DOESN'T HAVE A WILL OF IT'S OWN." "whatever. it doesn't matter if ya believe me or not. ya never do." Papyrus looks less angry and now I'm intrigued by this sudden shift. "hey, kiddo..." Sans calls to me and I sprint over to join them. "What's up, skele-dude?" Me using that kidding name again seems to help ease him. "can ya give us a sec to set the puzzle up?" He sounds better. A little less gruff but still edgy. I nod my head. "By all means...You two take your time. I'm not going anywhere." They walk into the next area and Flowey pops out. "Snack break?" "Yep. I sit down in the snow and Flowey brings out the bag of cookies. [Five minutes later] [HP ████████████████████████████████████ 36/36] "It's amazing how food and drink can heal HP." "Yeah, but that's just it. Only the HP is restored. Any physical damage is needed to be healed by other means." "Still cool though." "Totally." "How does my face look? Still jacked up?" "Hmmm...Not really. I think Sans healed you physically first before working on your HP." "..." "You okay?" "That...That was nice of him." "Are you still mad at him?" "...No. I'm over it now. I've cooled off long enough." "Good. Because grumpy you is rude." "Sorry." We finish off the cookies. "Mom makes epic cookies." "What's this white stuff?" "White chocolate. My favorite is dark chocolate, but this ain't bad." "Chara loved chocolate too." "I have way too much in common with that boy for it to sound normal." "Has he been talking to you?" "Not for a bit. Been pretty quiet since we left the Ruins. I think he's letting me keep my energy for dealing with these people." "A smart move. Who knows what'll happen next out here." "Yep. But he's always listening. So don't think he's gone because we don't chat." I stand up and dust off the crumbs. "You ready for this?" "About as ready as one can get." "Try to be a bit more positive about this. It's not like you're the one that'll be getting hurt." "You know I have your back in case things get too bad, right?" "But only when I say so...I don't want you to become a target." "You big softy." "You know it." We do a fist to leaf bump and I make my way into the next area. This spot is rather dark, very little of anything here apart from the brothers and a tile puzzle made of forty-eight deactivated squares that appears to be connected to a strange cracked box looking machine. "HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH! HUMAN!" "Hey, Papyrus. Sup, Sans." "sup, kid." "HUMAN, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS PUZZLE!" "Am I? And why is that?" "BECAUSE IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS!" "Who?" "the human's never left the ruins, bro. she's never heard of the quack." Papyrus gets a little flustered. "REGARDLESS...YOU SEE THESE TILES !?" "I do." "WELL, ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH...THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR!" "Cool." "EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!" "ya may want to write this down." I look at them funny as Papyrus takes a deep breath. "RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM! YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU! GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER! ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE- SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL FRUITY! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. YOU CAN SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE, BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES THE PIRAHNAS WILL BITE YOU..." "Pause!" He looks angry. "WHAT?" "Piranha? Really? Where the hell did you get piranha? It makes no damn sense." "EXPLAIN?" "Although often described as extremely predatory and mainly feeding on fish, the dietary habits of piranha vary extensively and they will also take plant material, leading to their classification as omnivorous. Which is why I'm not arguing over the whole 'smelling like oranges will get them hungry' thing. My issue with all this is how the flipping fishy fuck do you have piranhas down here. Piranha are a freshwater fish that inhabits South American rivers, floodplains, lakes, and reservoirs. This mountain is not in South America. So either those aren't piranha or they're genetic fakes made to look like them." Papyrus looks at Sans and Sans laughs. "hehehe...i fucking called it. she's such a quack." "*GROWLS* WHATEVER THESE FISH ARE, THE POINT REMAINS THAT THEY WILL ATTACK YOU IF YOU SMELL OF ORANGE." "Understood. Please, continue." "ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH THE PIRAHNAS, OR WHATEVER THEY ARE, DO NOT LIKE! SO THAT MEANS PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK! FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. AND PLAID TILES ARE..." "boss, i don't think those were fully installed yet." "REALLY?" "yeah." "FINE...HOW WAS THAT, HUMAN!? WERE YOU ABLE TO UNDERSTAND?" "Red, yellow, and green are bad. Blue is safe as long as it's not next to yellow and I don't touch orange, but it's okay again if I get purple. Purple and pink are fine as well. Did I get that right?" "...YES." "good memory, kiddo." "THEN THERE'S ONLY ONE LAST THING TO MENTION. THIS PUZZLE...IS ENTIRELY RANDOM!" He is way excited about this. I can't help the smile I get thinking he's being cute in an evil maniacal way. "WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE...THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY...!" "Bring it on!" Papyrus turns the machine on and the tiles light up. Slowly they start to flicker between different patterns. The three of us watch and witness dozens or colors flash. "Dear lord...You're lucky I'm not flash sensitive or I'd be having a seizure right now." "ARE THOSE BAD?" "They can kill a person if not handled right." "damn! ya really weren't kidding when ya said humans die easy." "Told you so." The lights speed up faster and faster. I begin to feel a little sick when finally it stops. We all just stare at it. It's insane. The "randomly generated" outcome the machine creates is simply a line of pink tiles bordered by red tiles, which according to the rules, I can walk right across without trouble. "SANS..." "yeah, boss?" "WHAT WERE THE ODDS OF THIS HAPPENING?" Sans goes over to the machine and looks it up. "according to this...the odds were 1 in 36,703,368,217,294,125,441,230,211,032,033,660,188,801." Papyrus balls his fists in bubbling rage and Sans moves away from the machine nervously. "pap, i know what you're thinking...but if ya hit the machine, we'll have to pay alphys for it or do some crazy favor. is that something ya want? do you not remember the cosplay parade? that bitch still has photos hanging over our heads. i ain't about to give her more. are you?" Papyrus seethes. His annoyance is making his bones steam in the icy air. With no real way of venting this rage, he stomps away as I walk over the tiles to stand by Sans. "He looked super pissed." "yeah. i should probably try to calm him down before he offs some random shmuck." He puts his hands in his pockets and starts to leave. "Sans, hold up a sec..." He stops and looks over his shoulder. "what?" I feel nervous about this. But I want this settled. "ya got something to say to me or what?" "I'm sorry." That gets to him and he turns fully to face me. Now even more nervous and hold my arms. "huh?" "I said, I'm sorry. I acted like a bitch. I was cold and pissy. Even when you were trying to show a little, let's for the sake of this say concern because your bro ordered you to heal me, I was still apprehensive about trying to be all nice again with you. I...I didn't know how to handle the stuff you said and I..." "hey, relax. i get it." Is he being cool? But I had so much more to say. "Y-You do?" He rubs the back of his skull. "since ya mentioned it...i...i am willing to admit i might have jumped the gun there earlier. i said some shit i shouldn't have. it's just...this is really awkward and junk." "Oh thank god. *sigh* I thought it was just me." He smirks a bit. "not used to talking about this stuff on your end either?" "Dude, I'm digging my fingers into my arms to keep from freaking out." "kid, i'm doing the same thing. got a stress ball in a death grip in my pocket. might've broke it had we kept going." "Hehehe...We're screwed up, aren't we?" "oh, big time. hehe..." "Hey...um...This might sound silly, but...Could we, maybe, go back to how we were before? Like when we would just be chill at the door." His expression holds some form of worry. "w-w-what do ya mean by 'go back'?" "You know. Go back. Like, how to say this...Like a reset? But on this day." Now he looks like he's about to shit a brick. "So what do you say? Let's wipe this whole indecent between us away and start fresh." I offer my hand to him and he looks at me funny. "what is this?" "Monster, don't you know how to greet a new pal?" His sockets widen before he laughs and takes my hand. "oh man, kiddo...ya really had me going there for a moment." I tilt my head confused and he plays it off. "so this is our reset? heh...ya gonna pants me again?" "Only if you shock me again, skele-dude." "nah. lesson learned the first time." I snicker till loud yelling gets our attention. Seconds later, Lesser Dog runs past us like its life is in danger. "Papyrus?" "yep." "Shall we?" "got nothing better to do." I bow and motion towards the way Papyrus went. "After you, my good sir." "why, thank ya kindly...lynsie." I'm stunned for a moment and he blushes a bit but doesn't let me see for long as he walks away. "come on, kiddo." "You said my name..." "don't mention it." "Awww...Dude, we really are cool!" "again...don't mention it!" I giggle and follow him. Little does anyone know, but the machine comes alive, the screen lit up. "OH NO...THIS SIMPLY WILL NOT DO." A thruster pops out of the bottom of it and it blasts off, rocketing its way back to Hotland. Sans and I are in a weird state of awe. In the area of Lesser Dog's post, the dog appeared to have made many snow versions of itself. Rather impressive things really. But in the venting his rage, Papyrus has been quite relentless in killing the snow-dogs. Numerous sharp bones stab the bodies and the heads have been broken off only to meet the blunt end of Papyrus's fists as he pummels the snow into mush. "I am so dead." "better the snow than you. or me for that matter." "Wait...Does he..." "hit me? not that like, no. a smack to the back of my skull, sure. but nothing that can really hurt me." I don't like the sound of this. "hey, pap! i think it's dead! ya can stop now!" Papyrus pays no attention to us. "he might be at this awhile." "Over a randomly generated puzzle algorithm?" "it's more about that he's having fun playing with ya and the puzzles are like games. but that last game didn't allow him to play, so he's having a fit about it." "Now I can see the young in him. How big is the age difference?" "not much. but he's always been like this. very...what's the word...intense? yeah, that sounds right. when it comes to his emotions, they're always strong." "You must be relieved you have a brother and not a sister." "oh, you have no idea! i don't think i'd be able to handle the mood swings." "Amen, dude." "...aren't you a girl?" "I prefer tomboy. A tomboy is a girl that has characteristics or behaviors considered typical of a boy." "i can see that. the only thing girly about ya it that rack of yours." I shove him into the snow. "Dick!" "...starting to see more of the girl in ya." "Can we get this puzzle stuff over with? I can't stand this cold." "why? is it bone-chilling?" He makes pun of me while getting up and Papyrus slows down a little. "Dude, if I was any colder I'd have ice in my veins." Papyrus stops and just stares. "too bad you're not a skeleton. things like that will just go right through ya." Papyrus summons a bone and slings it like a boomerang into Sans's legs, knocking him over. "what the fuck?!" "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MAKING PUNS WHILE I'M AROUND?" "so now ya can hear us? go figure." Papyrus then aims his glare at me. "YOU! THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING. I WILL NOT HARM MY BROTHER FOR HIS JOKES, BUT YOU HOLD NO BOND WITH ME. SO THE NEXT JOKE THAT I HEAR COMING FROM YOU WILL BE YOUR LAST. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" I only nod as he took all the words from me. "GOOD. VERY GOOD. SEE, SANS? SHE IS ABLE TO LISTEN." "like the kiddo said before, she ain't a dog." "I KNOW THAT. SHE'S FAR MORE OBEDIENT THAN THESE MUTTS." And just like that, we know for sure that Papyrus is back to his normal douchebag self. "HUMAN! ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE FINAL XOXO PUZZLE?" I help Sans up and then shrug at Papyrus. "I'm as ready for it as I can be." "VERY WELL...SANS." "that's my name, try not to wear it out." "*GROWL* SHOW THE HUMAN THE LAST XOXO PUZZLE. I SHALL GO AND AWAIT YOU BOTH AT THE END OF THE FINAL CHALLENGE." Papyrus takes his leave, passing the last remaining snow-dog and shoving it off the edge of the area into the unknown below while walking away like a boss. "he's so cool." "He's a prick. But a cool one." We stay put for a bit before Sans decides to head to the next area with me close behind. The last XOXO puzzle is massive, taking up 90% of the space. There are only twelve X's this time and no rocks. This one is made entirely on ice. "How in the..." "this one, i'll admit to being the brains behind." "If that's the case, then I'm surprised by that pop quiz you made before." "by the way...how the hell did ya get the answers right on that?" "You made it about Papyrus. I remembered what you'd say about him and took knowing him into account to make my answers." "smart ass." "Flattery will get you everywhere, Sans. Now about the puzzle?" "oh...it's the same as the others. ya gotta step on the x's to make the o's and then hit the switch. but the hard part is, there's no safety net here. if ya slide off the edge, ya fall to who knows where. what ya gotta do is slide from one x to the other without having to slide on an o or result in making that into a triangle. completion of this puzzle creates a bridge that allows ya to slide over to the other side of the area. trying to make it over there without completing the puzzle will have ya falling into the gap." "Okay. So there's a pattern to slide in that won't result in me falling. Give me a moment to see it." "no rush, kiddo. the longer ya take to do this, the longer i don't have to do my job. it's a win-win." He jokes about that, but he ends up watching me think and point my finger as I map out stuff in the air. "cute. what are ya, five?" "...It's a nautilus shell spiral." He flinches. "how did..." "Do ya really have to ask?" He rolls his shoulders and sighs. "go on. do your thing, kid." Starting at the farthest left-side X, I touch it and then slide over to the next X in front of me. From this X, I slide to the X across it on the right and then slide to the one heading back to the safety of the snow. This goes on for some time. Sliding to the left, forward, forward, right, back, left, forward, left again, and then going forward for the last time to hit the switch. All the red O's turn green and land reconnects with the path tunneled by the long black spooky trees. "I did it!" "yay." "Can you repeat that with more feeling?" "yay...you did it. whoopee." "That's just cold." "yeah. it wasn't very ice of me." I snicker. "See ya over on the side?" "ya know it." I give him a wave and push into the strong slide needed to exit the area. And wow am I glad I didn't do a weak slide. This path is long as hell! It feels like it goes on forever. I consider taking a nap until I finally pop out the other side. "hey, kid. what took ya so long?" "No clue. Felt like I'd be sliding forever." "it looks like it too. ya got quite the bunch of snow on your head." "I do?" "hmmm...looks to me like someone plopped a mound of snow as a base, then made a hat, then made a house on top of that, then a dog, and bird tops the whole thing." I eye him funny before feeling my head. Indeed there is a bunch of snow. How the hell did this happen? I try to pick it off me but it crumbles to bits. "Damn it. I wanted to see it." "no worries. i got pictures." "When did you take pictures?" "when i put the snow on ya." I open my mouth to ask another question but hold my tongue. No point in asking stupid questions when I'm dealing with a guy that can teleport. "Good one, buddy. Gotta see those later if that's cool." "sure. but right now, i need ya to do me a quick solid." "Such as?" He points ahead of us and I see a tiny dog sentry post. "this is where greater dog is stationed. while you and pap were puzzling away, i took the liberty of burying him in the snow." "And the problem is?" "while doing that, i drop some money and i really need it back. the issue is...i don't remember exactly where it all is." "How much is there? That way I know how much to look for." "30g." I salute. "Consider your gold already found." "good girl." "Hey, if ya don't mind me asking, but what's over there?" I point to the path going down to my right. "oh down there? nothing really. i mean, there is a mysterious room that nobody can get into. but it's probably some leftover from when the forest was being explored and colonized. other than that, loner monsters hang out there. some of which are out of your league in power, so i'd stay away if i was you." "Understood. Don't go there...yet." "that is not what i said." "I know. But I wanna see that room. So I'll stay away until my HP and DEF are way better. That way, I'll live longer." "you'll live longer by not going there." "But..." "don't. for the sake of the old lady, i want ya to promise, you won't go down there." I bite my lip and sneer. "Damn you and your knowledge of my weakness." He smiles. "it's what i do best. now say it. say ya promise." I sigh in defeat. "I promise you, Sans. I will not go down there." "thank you. now then..." I nod. "I know. I'm on the hunt." I walk forward towards the doghouse and what are multiple mounds of snow, nine to be specific. So I start at the beginning and work my way to the end. [It's a snow poff.] "Not this one." [And this...Is a snow poff.] "Or this one." [This, however, is a snow poff.] "Cute. Very cute." [Surprisingly, it's a snow poff.] "Very funny." [Snow poff...] "Starting to tick me off." [Is it really a snow poff?] "What else would it be, asshole?!" [Behold! A snow poff.] "God damn it!" [Eh? There's 30 G inside this...what is this called?] "Thank you!" I leap with joy and victory. "Hey, Sans! I found...your..." Sans is nowhere to be seen. And odder still is there is one snow poff left. By process of elimination, that is where Greater Dog is buried. Best not deal with any more dog problems, but I can't leave the poor pupper in the snow. I walk past the snow poff and make sure I'm a decent distance away from it before I start my little plan. I gather up some snow and make a heavy ball before hurling it at the mound. The snow poff topples and a tail pops out. Feeling the wind on its fur makes more of the dog dig itself out. Eventually, I see a massive creature that somehow Sans was able to bury completely. Greater Dog is a red-eyed wholly white furred dog. It wears mantle-gray spiked armor, adorned at the wrists are apparently functional snarling dog faces and the spear weapon it holds even has one. This thing is a beast! Or, that's how I saw it as until it fell over. The armor's legs had frozen and I nearly bite my tongue off holding in the giggles. Greater Dog itself looks to be a large breed of dog, but only fills the chest portion of the armor, letting its head and tail stick out while controlling the rest of the suit through unknown means. It's adorable. I want to pet it and give it love. But I know I'd never hear the end of it from Papyrus. So I leave the pupper be before it notices me. Taking the idea of petting out of my head, I return to the path at hand and become puzzled instantly. I'm looking at an incredibly long dangerous bridge, yes. But it's not a bridge. It's been painted to look like a bridge. The rope hand railing is real, but the floor is fake. Nothing makes sense. My paranoia of heights is triggering. I can't move. This lack of movement and overall silence draws Flowey out of the bag. "Lynsie? You okay?" "I looked down." "Huh?" "I looked down!" Flowey looks at what I see. "Wow! We are really high up." "Not helping!" "You...You're really afraid?" I nod rapidly. "But you know you have to cross this, right?" I nod again. "Hmmm...I have an idea. But you really have to trust me on this one." I nod more till vines wrap over my eyes and blind me. "F-Flowey?!" "Calm down. You can't move if you see how high we are. So I'm going to steer you." More vines move my arms out forward and at the feel of rope, I clamp my hands shut tight. "Alright. You hold the rope and step where I tell you." I nod and he slowly has me take small steps. I'm so scared that I'm shaking, but that can also be from the cold finally getting to me. "That's it...A little further...You're doing great..." "I hate this so much!" "Don't worry, I got you. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you." "HUMAN!" Flowey panics and flees into the bag, allowing me to see once more and I am about to lose my freaking mind because I was so close to the end! Sans and Papyrus stand on the other side, blocking me from the town I see not too far away. "THIS IS YOUR FINAL, MOST DRAMATIC, MOST SCARY, MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE OF ALL! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!" A spiked ball tethered by chains, two spears, an annoyed dog, an oil drum fire pit, and an old looking cannon appear to be aimed at my shivering form. "WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY!? I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!" I can't move. I can't make myself move. I'm too frightened to move. All I can do is watch and wait for certain death to hit me. Yet...Nothing happens. Sans takes notice. "well? what's the holdup?" Papyrus flinches. "HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M...I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!" I can't stand this tension! I drop to my knees unable to keep my legs stiff enough to stand. "that, uh, doesn't look very activated, boss." "WELL! THIS CHALLENGE! IT SEEMS...*SIGH* I CAN'T DO THIS." "boss?" "LOOK AT HER, SANS. SHE'S PETRIFIED. IT WOULD TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN LIKE THIS. NO...NO, IT WON'T BE ANY FUN AT ALL. WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!" On the command, the instruments of death go back to wherever they came from. "SANS, WHY IS SHE STILL FRIGHTENED? THE DEATH TRAPS ARE GONE." "i think she has a fear of heights, bro." "*SCOFF* REDICULOUS...HUMAN, THIS BRIDGE LOOKS DANGEROUS, BUT IT'S VERY STABLE. IN FACT, IT'S JUST A ROCK FORMATION I PAINTED OVER. I THINK IT LOOKS MORE DRAMATIC THAT WAY. I ADDED THE ROPE, TOO. FOR A MORE REALISTIC FLARE." "i don't think that matters." "DON'T WUSS OUT ON US NOW! YOU ARE LITERALLY RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE TOWN!" "Fuck you! I'm not moving!" I couldn't move even if I tried. Papyrus doesn't like this response. "SANS...I AM BECOMING DISAPPOINTED." Sans gets nervous. "h-h-hang on a sec, pap. i'm sure we can work something out." "WELL...LIKE WHAT?" Sans starts to sweat profusely. "uh...um..." "LOOK, I WAS EXCITED TO PLAY THIS LITTLE GAME OF PUZZLES AND SUCH SO THAT I COULD HAVE A GLORIOUS BATTLE FOR THE HUMAN'S SOUL AND PROVE TO ALL THAT I AM THE GREATEST ROYAL GUARDSMAN! BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES...IT'S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A WILD PARTY..." "without traps and fire?" "EXACTLY! IT'S POINTLESS! MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ABOUT PUZZLES." "m-me? right about something? really?" "YEAH! WHAT AM I SAYING?! YOU'RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! FLAMES AND VIOLENCE ARE THE ONLY REAL WAY TO DO PUZZLES!" Are they having a weird brother moment? "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?" "Nothing." "THAT'S IT...I'M ENDING IT. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW." Papyrus holds out his hand and his eyes begin to black out, though the left starts to flare red. "pap! wait! you can't kill her!" "WHY THE HELL NOT?!" "because!" "BECAUSE WHY?! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T OBLITERATE HER!" "b-because...because...um..." Sans looks at me, down on all fours and scared like a small animal. That's when an idea comes to him. "you can't kill her because...it would be what undyne is expecting you to do." "WHAT?" "think about it, bro. we're all trained to kill humans. what's so cool about that? but capturing a human and turning it against its own kind? now that would be impressive and an incredible show of skill." Papyrus lowers his hand and his white eyes return. "YOU HAVE MY INTEREST. EXPLAIN FURTHER." "just look at her, pap. she's a prime human with decent stats and almost no LV. think of the potential. with enough training, i bet she'd make a fairly decent pet." "HMMM...AND WHAT IF SHE TRIED TO BITE THE HAND THAT TRAINS HER? HUMANS ARE DEADLY, SANS. EVEN THE WEAK ONES." "that's the kicker, she's a pacifist! even if she lashes out there'll be no intent. it'll be like getting scratched by a kitten." "I DON'T KNOW..." "you can smash this in undyne's face and gloat that you did something that she never could." "SOLD! HUMAN! I HAVE DECIDED YOUR FATE. YOU WILL BECOME THE PET OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!" I want to make a snide remark but I am too focused on not blacking out from stress to care. "SANS, GO GET THE HUMAN AND BRING HER TO THE HOUSE. I'LL GO READY THE CAPTURE ZONE FOR IT'S NEW PRISONER." "you mean the shed?" DON'T UNDERMIND THE CAPTURE ZONE! AFTER ALL...IT'S WHERE SHE'LL BE STAYING." "you're right, bro. and when you're right, you're right." "DAMN RIGHT! THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH! HEH HEH!" Papyrus heads into town with renewed vigor and Sans sighs heavily with relief. "holy crap...heh...that was WAY to close. you don't even want to know what he was about to do to you." Sans looks at me and I'm bleeding out my nose. "kiddo?" "Too...much...stress..." "the fuck is happening?" "Gonna...pass...out..." My head is spinning and the dizziness takes hold. Sans comes running when my head smacks the floor. I feel him grab me and even shake me, but that's it. Everything shuts off for me in a matter of seconds.