#was gonna say i feel like an archivist but i guess i kinda am one huh

[grymmdark]

ive found so many more old trigun cosplay videos so im gonna share the link to the playlist i made of all the ones ive found so far again!

[protect-namine]

Can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them? Thanks 🌻

okay, finally answering this. this made me realize I have 39 fics on my AO3 already. how time flies...

gonna go with a 5+1 trope here. 5 favorite fics I've written + 1 that hasn't been posted

staccato (twewy) - sometimes there are themes, motifs, tropes, etc. that a writer will come back to over and over again. if you're lucky, you can pinpoint which piece of writing started all of this, and what every other piece of writing written since then is responding to or conversing with. this is that fic for me. this is old. it's from 2012. it's what got me started writing more experimentally. yeah I can write a straightforward story, but I also really like writing non-linear stories with unreliable narrators and ambiguous elements (either something to do with identity/memory/time messing up the narrative; for staccato's case, it's memory). it took me a while since writing this to actually understand that's what I like writing though, but this is definitely the seed from which my current writing style sprung from. for that reason, it's a very special fic to me. it's formative to my writing journey.

[h]eretic (nier automata) - (david lynch voice) "the film is the talking" but apply it to fic. it's 374 words. someone commented, "I like it when a work is short but gets to the point. This was powerful." so I accomplished what I wanted. this is my hemingway six-word story flash fiction moment 👍

time is a vinyl record (genshin impact) - I haven't continued this because it's a high effort fic to write and I just don't have the writing stamina for it right now. you can see how I'm very excited about it though. I like it because I get to play around with formatting a lot, to the point where I now maintain a separate workskin demo for formatting fics. so I enjoyed that process of it. it's also got time travel shenanigans, science is magic is science stuff. it's easier to show you pictures of why this fic is so high effort for me (see below). it's a "mixed media" fic, and requires three levels of research (travel research, because the characters travel the world. science research, because it's got spacetime shenanigans. and archival research, as in "what do archivists do and how do they archive"). so yeah. high concept, don't have the brain space for it yet to continue, but I'm very fond of it.

the gardener who only collects seeds (genshin impact) - another time travel fic. time loop one, to be precise. this is the fic where, as I was writing it, I realized, oh. this is staccato all over again. the plot is different, the fandom is different, but stylistically and thematically, it's staccato in a different font. or rather, the refinement of the je ne sais quois that staccato started. this will keep happening in other fics, such as in re:flect. re/fract. (which uses identity issues instead of time travel as the ambiguous narrative element). everything goes back to staccato. that said, a longer postscript of gardener can be found here if you want to know how it was written/conceptualized/etc.

AZAZEL (danganronpa V3) - I usually write for small fandoms or rare(ish) pairs (relatively speaking), so this is the first time I posted a fic where it got so many comments and kudos so fast (relative to my other fics). I didn't think people still regularly check the saiouma tag in 2024? so the response just blew me away. I enjoyed writing a casefic from my experience writing another fic that's not on this list, so that's what compels me about writing azazel. the mystery writing. but also! I am a huge fan of role reversal fics because it really pushes the envelope with character arcs, and this is kinda like that. I'm a slow writer, but I'm still writing the second chapter. additional thoughts on themes, etc can be found here. also, I guess this fic felt like a milestone for me, because I finally got over my word count worries. it's my fic, so I get to say it's totally okay to post 20k words for one chapter. and I'm currently of the mindset that each chapter of this fic will probably have around the same word count. if anyone reading this is a reader of azazel, uhhhhh. that's partially why I'm slow to update, but I'm also just slow in general.

+1: The Halting Problem (sgdlr): you said "written" and technically I have a WIP that's partially written (16k words and counting). it's just not posted. that counts, right? this is my favorite fic to write atm. the halting problem is a set of two fics (RE:cursion and async/await) that make up one whole story. they're being written in such a way that you need one to understand the other. I think I can't really post either of them until they're both finished/complete. moreover, I decided to use both fics as my testing ground to see if I can write interactive, choose-your-own-adventure stories. I just think those are neat! so I wanted to try them myself!! and I think lc is perfect for that kind of story. if you've played a cyoa game before, you know how this goes. and yes, you can do this on AO3 (with limitations)! it's been really fun seeing the many ways you can use "choices" as a storytelling device, aside from just making branching paths in a narrative. I feel like, in spirit, this belongs to this list, although yeah it's not posted yet. I cannot promise that it will be. I highly doubt that it will be finished, in all honesty. it's kinda ambitious lmao, and waaay above my skill level. but! in the moment, I am having so so so much fun with it. and that's what matters in the end. the conceptualization and writing process for this fic just feels really different from the others because of it's narrative structure, and I'm kinda learning a lot about my own writing process along the way.

[ghostboyjules]

about me

omg tagged first by @mathomhouse-e and then right as I was abt to post this @wordsinhaled tagged me too!! so delighted and honored to be in this wonderful group of mutuals, y'all make my heart warm 💖🥰

Nickname: Jules, I guess, counts? other than that I don't really have a current one... @weirdfishy has been calling me ghostie tho, which I absolutely adore 🥺💕

Sign: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Gemini Rising (Cap Mercury, and if y'all wanna talk astrology my dm's are always open lmaaoo)

Height: 5'7 or 5'8 on a good day (a.k.a when my sciatica isn't elbow dropping me to death)

Last thing I googled: "piercing places" and before that, "images of a shrimp" which I'm including because I thought that was very funny

Song stuck in my head: surprisingly I don't have one up there right now?? well.. I guess kinda,, but it's like a mix of a couple. All Up In Your Mind by Beyoncé, Genghis Khan by Miike Snow, Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac, and In a Week by Hozier.. weird combo of songs but they're kinda cycling through my brain like a weird spirit box-esque radio station

Number of followers: 713 (😳, most of these are like, weird bots or deactivated blogs but still woah..)

Amount of sleep: hmm generally I get anywhere from 3-7 hrs, but as of right this moment (10:38pm) I've had 4hrs 36mins of Actual Sleep (from last night to when I woke up for work this morning) and then a 2 hr nap (before I started dinner this evening)

Dream job: Archivist of Some Sort™ in the Library of Congress,,, with a specialty in Thanatology?? I don't really know the specifics yet but something along those lines ig, if at all possible

Wearing: ..... a gray Cowboy Garfield t-shirt with the phrase "when I die I may not go to heaven. I don't know if they let cowboys in." and black underwear (THESE ARE MY PAJAMAS, OKAY? had to include the undies so you would get the Look™, I can't just say I'm wearing a t-shirt and leave it at that obvi... ajdjakfkg)

Movies/books that summarize you: my brain can't decide which way it wants to take this, so I'm just gonna answer with the Books/movies that I feel has shaped who I am as a person, currently. LOTR & the Hobbit trilogies, The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater, the Conjuring (only the first one 🔪), Spirited Away, and The Labyrinth. OH SHIT almost forgot, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

Favorite song: this changes daily 😐 rn tho I think probably Blood Upon the Snow by Hozier and Bear McCreary

Favorite instrument: Pipe Organ, Cello, Bass Clarinet, and the voice

Aesthetic: uh... weird goth gay uncle who is lazy and also a witch? is that anything?

Favorite authors: oof alright, well. Maggie Stiefvater, Neil Gaiman, Nora Sakavic, Gege Akutami, Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler), and a handful of Fanfic Authors that I won't list here because I'm terrified of forgetting someone, but know that I am absolutely counting them and will forever remember their names

Random fun fact: I really love playing guitar hero games but I've never once really tried to learn how to play the guitar

thanks again for tagging me, you two 🥺🥰🥰 y'all have already tagged a lot of the peeps I would have tagged in fandom (so if I tag you again, my bad beloved homies just ignore me lmao), but let's see here... @weirdfishy, @watermelon-mafia, @rabooots, @aquilathefighter, @leave-me-alone-doctor, @eel-divinity, @an-asuryampasya, @pacospandora, @rainbowvamp, @runningheadless, and @howlittleweare <3 WHEW no obligation to do this at all obvi, but if you don't, this is just a reminder that ily 😘 if you do tho, I also love you 💖 okay g'night, loves

[eldritchqueerture]

Eye to Eye

This was supposed to be a one-shot, but honestly it kinda got away from me and I'm having Ideas, so I'll say this is gonna have 3 chapters. The fluff will be there, but before that you're getting this angsty monstrosity because I apparently love making myself cry.

(idk why the link to ao3 just says "show chapter" instead of the title but i guess this is tumblr and we cant have nice things)

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: M/M

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & The Beholding (Fear Entity)

Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, The Beholding (The Magnus Archives), The Web (The Magnus Archives), Martin Blackwood

Additional Tags: Angst, Pain, SUFFERING EVEN, Angst with a Happy Ending, If You Can Believe it, Hurt/Comfort, cosmic horror, unreality, Jon talks to the Beholding, there are themes of love in their relationship, but i am not tagging this as a ship, because i do not think this can be treated as in any way similar to human relationships, that said you can read it however you like, Spiders, Body Horror, Ambiguous/Open Ending, because i like the trope, that we cant actually explain what happens, if you mess with eldritch powers, am i using it as a plot device to get to the happy ending? perhaps, sue me, rated M for violence, No beta we die like archival assistants, and then go kayaking! :D

Summary:

Who are we, Archivist? The little green eye on the back of his brain asks and he doesn’t know the answer. He should; he knows everything. Who is he? Who is— As everything comes back to his memory he feels his hands tremble and he lets out a groan, distorted in the non-existent air of the space. Jonathan Sims. The Archivist. The only one left to face the Fears and watch as they all meet their ends. He sucks in a shaky breath, and it feels just as redundant as before. [...] He remembers why he’s here. He needs to kill them. He scrambles to his feet, wincing at the pain in every muscle. What happened to the world? Was everyone already gone? We are beyond time, the little eye tells him again. They are inconsequential here. --- In which I explore “What if Jon managed to follow through with his plan to starve the Fear Entities to death” except with a happy ending, because I can and I say so. Please be sure to check out the warnings and stay safe <3

[natalieironside]

Find The Word

oh yeah @by-the-grace-of tagged me in another tag game, that’s what’s up

My words are Powerful, Prime, Push, and Puddle.  Let’s see here.

Powerful showed up in Chapter 2: Doubts of my as-yet-untitled sequel to The Big Job:

“IT says that you’ve been doing a combination of very interesting searches, Dr. Wingfield.”

Upon hearing the words, Kelly’s growing panic was subdued by a feeling much more powerful than fear:  Professional pride.  She made herself meet Dr. Light’s eyes, and she muttered, “You erased by doctoral dissertation.”

“We were going to debrief you on that once your current project had been concluded, but I suppose you’re too smart for that.  That book in your hands is the only copy of Uncertainty and Entanglement in existence.”

“You fucking redacted my life’s work.”

“Dr. Wingfield, what is the motto written above the door to Practical Research?  The one you walk through every day?”

“’We will die in the dark so that others may live in the light.’”

“The Foundation has never lied to you, Dr. Wingfield.  We die in the dark so that others may live in the light.”

“Ma’am . . . My theories could’ve changed the world.”

“No, Dr. Wingfield.  Your theories would’ve destroyed it.”

Prime showed up in Chapter 1: Family Values of my wip Voidsong: Rise of the Warbringer, though this kinda feels like cheating since “Prime” is part of the name of a place.

“Hmm. Though it has been twenty years since last we spoke, Helga, and though much has changed in that time, still is it plain for me to see when there are further details you aren’t telling me.”

“You are no fool, then.  I will tell you, for you ought to know before things out in the wider galaxy progress any further.  I wish to continue my raiding, but it is only a means to an end.  I plan to focus my raiding on the frontiers of Carolian space, but that too is but a means to an end.  I come bearing grim and terrible news, father.  Saoirse and I are witches foresighted and we have seen it in our dreams, and Nirtovi there has seen the proof of it with her own eyes.  Another crusade is coming.  We do not know when it will come, but it will be soon, and it will be the biggest crusade the Carolian Empire has yet launched since human ships first sailed from Nicaea Prime three thousand years ago.  It is only a matter of time before cohorts of Sword Brothers are storming every independent system beyond the moons of Beacon.  I should like to do something about that.”

“Oh, horseshit.  First off, I don’t give a frostwolf’s knot what Carolians do in the galactic core; no Carolian ship has been seen in the halo since Grimm Fellhand made planetfall here two thousand years ago.  This crusade means nothing to me, and if you were wise, it would mean nothing to you, either.”

“I thought you would say that.  I assume that appeals to altruism will fall on deaf ears.”

“I am a child of the ice and I keep to the laws of ice and steel.  I would expect for she who calls herself my daughter to be of like mind.”

I found Pushed in Chapter 1: Aftermath of the untitled The Big Job sequel:

Kelly blinked in surprise.  “Oh.  Uh . . . yes, ma’am.  When I was first assigned to the project, I recognized how dangerous she was and how difficult it would be to contain her; it was obvious that she was only here because she wanted to be.  At the time, I recommended that she be terminated before she could attempt a containment breach that would inevitably cost a lot of lives and do a lot of damage to the facility—which is what happened.  After a few interviews with her, though, I changed my mind.  SCP-[REDACTED] is dangerous, but designating her object class as ‘safe’ was the right call.  Things went to Hell because she was being improperly contained.   With the benefit of hindsight, if I could go back and do it again, I would recommend releasing her.” 

Dr. Light arched her brows and pushed her glasses further down the bridge of her nose.  “That’s interesting.  Please elaborate, Dr. Wingfield.”

“Yes, ma’am.  Though she was always very vague, we did manage to learn that the skip’s ‘family’ fits the typical profile of a Proto-Sarkic community to a T.  They’re insular, conservative, xenophobic, tiny, and probably harmless.  If we’d released the skip, she would’ve led us right to them, and I think standard containment protocols would be effective.  SCP-[REDACTED] knows how to make herself a hard woman to find, but prior to the incident we managed to get a lead.  Her most interesting self-alteration, to me at least, is her teeth.”

“Her teeth, Dr. Wingfield?”

“Similar to a shark’s; she has a lot of them, and can discard them and grow them back as needed.  Mineral analysis of one of her teeth indicates that she’s spent several years drinking well water in the Bitterroot Mountains.  Our Sarkists are headquartered somewhere in western Montana.”

“Hmm.  Good work, Dr. Wingfield.  Very good work.”

“Oh.  Um, thank you, ma’am.”

And I found Puddle in Chapter 3: In the Family Way of same.  The word “puddle” occurs twice so far in the document and both of them are references to people being turned into puddles of red paste, which I guess is what happens when one of your characters is a Type Red KTE.

Nix blinked.  “It’s 2021.”

“This means nothing to me.”

“Katya, what are you talking about?”

“Oh!  A thousand thousand apologies.  I . . . I do not believe that I am Katya.  Tell me, ah . . . who is it you think you’re speaking to?”

“Karcist Katyamina Nisureika, of the Order of the Red Root.”

Katya laughed long, hard, and loud.  “A karcist of the Red Root!  Oh, how delightfully rustic!  I hope she hasn’t been boring you, prattling on about cattle bloodlines and the price of millet.”

“Um . . . I believe Katya said her family runs a cherry orchard.”

“Oh, moved up in the world, have they?  Ah, in any case, I believe I knew this Katya’s ancestors, and they were good people, if a bit provincial. Um . . . are the two of you . . . Mekhanites?”

“We are.”

“And, based on the fact that you have not been turned into puddles of red paste, I infer that the two of you and this karcist must be friends.  That is very, very interesting.”  She turned to Dr. Farkas.  “And you.  I recognize those markings.  You are an Archivist!”

Dr. Farkas blinked.  “Uh . . . that’s a very archaic term.  I’m an agent of the Serpent’s Hand.  But, yeah.”

“What a strange place the world has become.  You say it’s the year 2021; by what reckoning?”

***

alrighty!  I’m gonna tag uhhhhh @ashen-crest and uhhhh @zmlorenz whoms’t tagged me in the last one of these and uhhhh @arty528

And your words are Inscribe, Terror, Star, and Joyous

[echo-inthevoid]

Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD 

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know! 

He said no;-; 

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok. 

Ya, he must do sooo much research. 

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!! 

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff. 

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys. 

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool. 

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents. 

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady... 

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!" 

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official! 

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics* 

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point,  and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!! 

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all. 

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples. 

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-; 

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh! 

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy! 

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it! 

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI. 

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw) 

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it. 

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

 also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing. 

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls????? 

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so. 

And they were in the maze for DAYS? 

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol. 

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess. 

[chubbyooo]

Blurred Lines: Cursed Past Chapter 57 - Dad/The Last Trial

don’t worry I’m not gonna leave that bombshell in suspense anymore 

Kavaraa reels after learning about her parents

Kavaraa stood there speechless, a million thoughts were running through her head all at once, the figure on the holo it was her father her dad she was sure of it. She didn’t know why it just felt right it was like she had a very rough memory of him.

her father shuffled awkwardly “so uh where to start well I gue-” before he could finish a muffled voice came from the holo. He turned around “yeah sure ok I’m just in the middle of something”. Kavaraa could here the voice was higher pitched she could only assume it was her mother “yeah ok you’re right fine gimme a sec” he turned to them “yikes well uh I guess I’ll uh edit this out” he disappeared from the holo. 

Kavaraa let out a small laugh she guessed she knew where she got her bossiness from, seconds later the holo flickered back to him looking a bit tired. “ok for the life of me I can’t work this device out so let’s just leave that in, uh well hey I’m back where was I oh um yes Kavaraa if that is you then that means either I’m not as good as hiding things as I thought or you’ve been on the pilgrimage” he rubbed his forehead “oyyyy let’s hope it’s the second one” Kavaraa didn’t know what to do she was shaking, she felt Theron take her hand and squeeze it she was glad he was here, it made it a little easier. Her father looked away “and it also means I wasn’t here to greet you” he paused for a long second “I made this recording in case of my absence from the ranch but... the only reason that would happen is if I was dead or missing so if that’s the case I’m so so sorry squirt” Kavaraa felt her eyes well up with tears, she wiped her eyes she had to keep it together. “and if it’s still here and I am alive come on Zuvra ya got one job jeez” Kavaraa felt herself smile just a little he was certainly forgetful like her.

Zuvra cleared his throat “either way if you have taken the pilgrimage you’re probably wondering why I never told you about this place” Kavaraa winced this was even harder without her knowing. “some people take to the life of an archivist others just kinda don’t and well I just didn’t, also I fell in love with ya mother but that’s a whole other thing not important right now” he paused messing with his montral “but I didn’t want to abandon the families work so I agreed to watch over the last trial and those how entered it also maybe one day I’d be able to send some of my kin or something”. Kavaraa was still stunned, her family had been part of this all along and she had only found the clue by chance was this always her destiny. The force did have a habit of making connections maybe that’s why she originally sensed Kormel, but what did this mean she was related to a family of what did he call them ‘archivists’?

Zuvra continued “of course that would be their choice but I’d hope at least one of you was like my mom, now unfortunately I can’t really tell you about it cause it’s against their rules. I’ve already broken a few just saying their names but ehhh they’ll get over it, you’re my daughter I think you’re trustworthy” Kavaraa chuckled Zuvra really didn’t seem like you average archivist. 

Zuvra turned to look at Kavaraa “but don’t be deterred by my lack of interest, if you want to do this I absolutely support ya squirt, go find the secrets and help the galaxy grow.” he paused giving a weak smile “I promise I will always be proud of you I want you to know that no matter where I am I’m proud, whatever you did I’m sure you’re doing great and don’t worry so much it’ll work out squirt” with that the holo flickered off and the room was silent 

Kavaraa tried her best to hold back her tears but they flooded out, she felt Theron wrapped his arms around her as she nestled into his shoulder. She didn’t know why she was so sad but seeing what her life could have been made all the years alone so much more real, it felt like losing them all over again.

Theron held her tight “I’m sorry Kav that’s rough” Kavaraa nodded wiping the tears from her eyes “hey look on the bright side your dad gave you more love in five minutes than my parents did my entire life” Kavaraa chuckled as worrying of a statement as that was she understood what Theron was trying to do.

Kormel shuffled up next to her “uh I’m sorry Kavaraa about the stuff I said on Tatooine I guess I didn’t understand” Kavaraa shook her head Kormel had a point before she didn’t want him to get deterred because of her trauma.

Kavaraa did her best to compose herself “ok um I’m ok sorry it’s just a lot of information to process, but most of it is good right I’m kinda supposed to find this place right” Kormel shrugged he didn’t seem so convinced

“I guess although he seemed pretty sure you could find this place and I mean it wasn’t that obvious even to me took a lot of working out” Kavaraa had to agree it seemed a little strange

Kavaraa stroked her chin “yeah I guess maybe he was going to give me a clue, I feel like I must have missed a lot hardly knowing them” Kormel nodded looking away. Kavaraa couldn’t dwell on this they had a mission “ok let’s get going we have a trial still to do.

Theron nodded and they headed to the temple door, the designs were definitely consistent, Kavaraa tried her best to not let her mind wonder once she was back on the ship she could scream into a pillow for a bit. At the bottom of the stairs they came to a large dark chamber with only a small amount of light coming from the stairs. 

Kavaraa went to get out a flashlight but before she could the door slammed behind them, she quickly activated the flashlight but when she did she could see no sign of Theron or Kormel. “Theron? Kormel? please tell me you guys are still here” she waited for a response but was met with nothing. Kavaraa started breathing heavily she hated being alone she shined the flashlight across the chamber, she couldn’t see a single wall she guessed she just had to walk forward. Kavaraa was worried this didn’t feel right. 

Kavaraa slowly shuffled forward but suddenly felt herself collide with someone, she fell to the ground and when she looked up she couldn’t see the chamber she was in before. Kavaraa frowned this looked an awful lot like house Thul and the figure above her looked an awful lot like Elana Thul, oh no was this trial vision based no no no not right now. 

Elana scowled down at her “how can you be so foolish I ought to have you thrown out” Kavaraa instantly remembered her spiteful tone she had been on the wrong end of it way too many times

Kavaraa bowed her head “so sorry my lady I wasn’t looking where I was going” Kavaraa began shuffled away she just had to play into it for now

Elana folded her arms “clearly I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything else from an alien” Kavaraa shuddered as she heard the comment doing her best to let it slide. She remembered Elana had been like that a lot but she did her best to ignore it, most of her time as a servant hadn’t been great she still remembered the day Master Yuon took her away she’d been so thrilled.

Suddenly she stopped she was in the jedi temple on Tython looks like the worst was to come “why didn’t you save me?” Kavaraa was startled as she saw Master Yuon standing in front of her speak of the devil

Kavaraa was speechless what no “I...I...I...” Master Yuon stood there dead eyed a laceration across her chest.

“why didn’t you save me” she repeated looking at Kavaraa “when the brothers attacked?” Kavaraa started to breath heavily she hadn’t been there.

Kavaraa had to keep a clear head it was just a vision “I..I couldn’t I was off-world I’m so sorry master but you know I wasn’t there” Master Yuon moved towards her narrowing her eyes

“why weren’t you there?” Kavaraa did her best not to think about it she had never regretted something more in her life

Kavaraa took a deep breath “I...I was on a mission” Yuon raised her eyebrow looking at her dead in the eyes

Yuon sighed “you were chasing an artefact and that inquisitor again” Kavaraa winced she knew she’d been reckless but she couldn’t have known right

Kavaraa shook her head “th-that doesn’t make me responsible, of course I regret it but I couldn’t have known and the real Yuon would understand that” Kavaraa put the thoughts to the back of her mind striding past Yuon confidently it wasn’t her none of this was real none of it.

she doubted it was over but she could get through it what else did she doubt about herself? maybe Master Syo but she knew that wasn’t her fault. The scene shifted again as she found herself in the middle of a warzone, grey buildings jutted up around her this place it was... Ziost

Kavaraa shuddered this is where Theron had thrown himself into danger and nearly got himself killed, maybe the real Theron was here then maybe she could find him. 

She looked around and spotted the red jacket bent over a corpse, she called out to him “Theron? Theron is that actually you?” Theron turned around but as she got close she noticed his eyes looked different like...

he clicked his neck unnaturally “no my dear not Theron he really shouldn’t have come here alone” Kavaraa staggered back no no no, she began to hyperventilate where was Lana? 

Theron was possessed “Vitiate?” Theron smiled unnaturally Kavaraa could here Vitiates voice echoing in her mind 

Theron laughed “there you go dear and it will be all the sweeter when he knows he’s the one who killed you” Kavaraa watched as electricity pulsed through him 

She knew she couldn't stop him she could never hurt Theron never but this wasn’t real right this wasn’t, the lightning slammed into her knocking her back. Kavaraa writhed in pain then scrambled back as Theron floated towards her no no no this wasn’t right none of it this isn’t how it went, Kavaraa began to weep as Theron arrived staring her down.

She could hear Vitiate cackle “oh how tragic” Kavaraa put her arm up as a futile shield before he shocked her but it never came. The vision faded around her and she was left with nothing but darkness, she’d gotten so caught up in the vision she tried her best to calm down but felt herself start sobbing again this was all too much. 

She lay there for a few minutes crying before she felt something kick her side, she looked up to see Kyradia standing over her “come on get up Kavaraa I’m sure you can survive a little induced vision” Kavaraa cleared her head letting Kyradia help her up

Wait what was she doing here Kavaraa frowned and where were they this looked like a temple on... Ossus. Kavaraa gasped as she saw Malgus stride into the chamber “that rooms clear come on we need to get to Gnost-Dural” Kyradia nodded following after him. 

Kavaraa stood still stunned, Kyradia frowned at her “aren’t you coming Darth Bysh?” Kavaraa staggered looking down, she was in sith robes around her were dead jedi no NO NO that was not her NO she couldn’t let the vision do this to her NO. Kavaraa felt an extreme force well up within her, closing her eyes she forced the vision to fade, she looked around she was back in the dark chamber but she could see someone on the edge of her vision. 

She’d recognise him anywhere Theron looked back at her looking equally troubled, Kavaraa ran towards him wrapping him into a big hug “I don’t care if this is just a vision I need this” 

He returned the hug “I’m so so sorry Kavaraa I don’t know what happened I uh I don’t know how we got separated” Kavaraa held the hug a few seconds longer before letting go instantly she felt so much better

Kavaraa wiped the tears from her eyes “I thought I’d lost you, I...I saw Ziost” Theron gasped a solemn look on his face

Theron sighed “I think I saw that too” Kavaraa took his hand holding it tight “y-you know I’d never let that happen right I’m trying to be less reckless” Kavaraa nodded holding him tight

Kavaraa took a deep breath “I know I know, we can rest soon we need to find Kormel” Theron nodded and they looked around the chamber.

Soon they found him but he had his saber out ready to strike something, as Kavaraa ran close she entered whatever vision he was experiencing. She saw a dark version of herself behind him and the man from the cantina she had to stop this right now

Kavaraa shouted “Kormel no! that’s not me” she reached out pushing the dark reflection back, Kormel turned and it seemed like he came out a daze.

He turned the saber off and ran over to Kavaraa “I...I..I’m sorry I thought it was you” Kavaraa pulled him out of the vision and they caught their breath

Kavaraa took a deep breath “don’t feel bad Kormel it uh it got me too it’s kinda triksy, but I think we survived” Kormel nodded clearing his head and they made their way back to Theron

Theron frowned “what sort of trial was that, that was not ok I was back on Tython” Kavaraa had wondered what the application of that was she guessed it was test their own doubts

Kavaraa shrugged “I think it wanted us to face our demons and to be honest I think it worked” Theron nodded she hoped being back on Tython wasn’t too much for him, they all made their way out of the chamber and were met with the fourth holocron sitting in the adjacent chamber.

Theron let out a sigh of relief “thank the force there is only one of those chambers I don’t think I could do three” Kavaraa had to agree that was pretty jarring...

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game! Round... 4?

THANK YOU @quilloftheclouds! These are such fun questions! 

I have two of these in my drafts, so here comes a lot of info about yours truly. All the fun stuff is under the cut!

Bilbo Taggins: @floralandrogyny @leave-her-a-tome @penzag @cvrmillas @writingthatstory @dulcedewriteblr @bethkerring @writer-by-the-window @thewritingsofart @monstrouswrites @moonbeam-muse

(If you wanna do it and you’re not tagged, DO IT. If you see my questions and want to answer them, DO IT. 💜) 

(And I’m gonna tag @quilloftheclouds as my 12th because I want to know how they answer some of these weird questions. 😊)

MY QUESTIONS: (I’ve done so many of these, now I actually have to get creative...)

What would your WIP be called if it were a breakfast cereal? What does it taste like?

If your OCs were to be sponsored by any sort of product or item, what would it be? 

How do you take an idea from a concept to a story? What about an idea makes it story-worthy for you?

What’s the name of your OCs’ band? What kind of music do they play? Who plays what? Who’s the manager? What venues do they play? Are they any good?

What would your WIP look like as a romantic comedy (with the same characters, of course)? 

What about your writing are you most proud of?

What, in your opinion, is the coolest thing about your WIP?

What excites you about writing? 

Characters with brown hair gain the ability to pull chocolate bars out of their pockets at will. How does this change your WIP?

How do you like to end your stories? 

What’s your favorite word? What’s your least favorite word? 

1. Put yourself in your wip(s). Are you dead? Why or why not?

If I were in H2H, I’d probably be some sort of magical archivist. Not dead, hopefully. The world isn’t exactly “dangerous,” since it’s our world plus a little bit of pseudo-regulated magic that isn’t super duper potent yet. 

If I were in All Out Painted Colors, though? Deffo dead. If I had to cliff dive to stay in the tribe, I would just accept defeat and be exiled and die in a field somewhere. 

2. What is your favourite kind of scene to write?

Emotional scenes in the dark. I have at least one in every story. It’s a little ridiculous, but I love the implications and symbolism of someone not being able to see someone else and saying what they’ve been avoiding, or one character seeing another do something (in low lighting, of course) and dealing with the revelation that brings, however delayed. I love scenes where one character does a thing and someone else notices but they don’t say anything because they care about them. I can twist that one so many different ways, it’s so fun.

3. What genre is your favourite to write in?

I am a literary fiction dweeb at heart. Although I do enjoy writing some light fantasy every once in a while, I will always default to lit fic. It’s what I learned in school and it fits with the themes I tend to write about. And it’s less work world building. 😉

4. What genre do you want to/wish you could write in?

Freakin’ sci-fi. I’ve tried and it is NOT easy. Those writers are skilled. 

Also romance, because that stuff apparently makes bank.

5. Which of your ocs outfits would you consider wearing yourself?

Anything Gemma wears, because most of it is already in my own wardrobe. I like being cozy, I say, wearing a loose t-shirt, a soft old cardigan, and fuzzy socks. 

6. What’s the worst thing you’ve done to your ocs (out of context if spoilers)?

Any of my OCs? Well. I can be pretty vicious. [This is gonna get a little gory and morbid, so CW I suppose.]

I did a lot of really messed up stuff to my boys in my war story. One had a PTSD episode while in the middle of a firefight and shot an enemy soldier in the head while wrestling with him on the ground, but imagined the whole thing as chasing down a deer he shot back home and had to put out of its misery. Another guy was choking out an enemy soldier, hands wrapped around his throat, eyes bulging, and he saw his little sisters face in his hands. Took a best friend from my favorite dude because the story called for it and I still feel bad about that, but it worked too well for it to be anyone else. 

Less gory, I had one woman lose all faith in her religion and her father when he refused to get rid of the DNR on her mom, which might have saved her life, or at least given her a few more years, because of his own twisted faith. Killed a character with his favorite food one time. I tend to take the things they love and hold dear and twist them until they have to abandon them because they start hurting instead of helping. I’m evil. 

7. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done to your ocs?

Given them the happy endings they deserve. 

8. Does your writing style have any characteristic traits? What are they?

It do. I’ve been told my voice is very distinct, even when it changes. I do this thing with flashbacks that’s pretty unique, too, I guess. I call them “seamless flashback transitions,” but I don’t like calling them flashbacks because they’re kinda not, it’s more like a character remembers something in-scene and then it naturally flows into the past. I love doing that. 

9. What are three things you think you’re good at in writing? (NO SKIPPING OF THIS QUESTION ALLOWED)

NO SKIPPING, NO PROBLEM. 

I’m very good at saying a lot with few words

Character voices and making realistic people

Bookending! (hehehe) Things at the end reference things at the beginning and make them full of feelings and bring the story to a nice close. I’m really good at taking details that meant very little and infusing them with feels. Kind of like delayed decoding, but with feelings. 

10. Do you listen to music/white noise while writing? What kind?

Most of the time, yeah, I listen to music. I either play a single song on repeat until I can drown it out so it acts like white noise to me, or I put the story playlist on repeat until I want to throw it out the window. The songs gotta have the same feel as the story, though. It’s all for the #aesthetic.

11. Come up with joke titles for your wips. What are they?

You’re asking me for jokes? JOKES??

My time has come.

Heart to Heart, or:

Growing Closer  (p l a n t s)

Love Potion No.10

Thorny for Mystery

Calamitous Encounters of a Magical Kind  (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, bit of a stretch)

Double, Double Toil and Trouble; Blushes Burn and Beakers Bubble

All Our Painted Colors, or:

 Hear to Stay (which was the very punny working title that my teacher said did NOT fit, which, yeah) 

Weaponizing Finger Paints / War Paint and Finger Guns

Color Me Yours (there’s a pottery painting place near where I used to live called Color Me Mine. Regional puns!)

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Will Eradicate My Trust in Our Community

When Old Ladies Go Bad

So the Story Goes, or:

Satan: The Original Pan (triplicate pun, yay!)

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

East of Eden and a Left at the Fork (cuz Satan huehuehue)