#was feeling good today i like my tummy today
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I have so many thoughts about Barry, it's honestly sickening
Barry treating you like air the whole day in front of any customer just to come up to you at night wrapping his arm around you "is my baby sad, hmm?" only to then whisper in your ear as he grabs a fistful of hair "stop crying like a little bitch and get down on your knees with a smile"
I dont even know anymore barry has fried my brain
this is sooooo precious n barry coded.
anyways i love barry and his limp hairy dick that’s all
PRECIOUS ND’ BARRY.
you knew to be quiet. just like you were taught; how you were trained. quiet as a mouse, all the time. barry stayed home today, something ‘bout the law being on his ass. he told his customers to come to him, instead.
you sat in your room for a bit, painting your toes. but you got bored, wanted attention. so you quietly opened the door, seeing barry on the frayed couch. counting money.
you sat next to him, facing him. you sat on your legs, propping your hands on his thigh. looking at him. he didn’t even bother to look up at you, though. too busy ‘worried ‘bout more important shit.’ you frowned.
you attempted to nuzzle up into his neck, but he pushed you away by your throat. “hi.” you spoke, sheepishly. he looked up at your pupils, for the first time today.
he looked you up and down, almost judgmental. he scoffed. “what you need, kid. spit it out.” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “nothin’— wanted to talk to you.” he laughed meanly, lowly. “go back in your room. you ain’t needa be out here.”
you stared down, disappointingly. but you would listen. you knew you would. he knew too. you did, always. wouldn’t dare utter a complaint to him. you got up, making your way back to your room. you cried for a little bit, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. almost begging for an ounce of remorse. attention.
however, you soon gave up and went to sleep. you had nothing better to do anyway. you slept for a bit, till it was at least dark. that was, till you felt a cold hand snake up to your tummy. you flinched, waking up.
he chuckled lowly, whispering in your ear. “you was cryin’ like a baby, huh? my precious was upset— like a little baby.” you frowned, embarrassingly nudging your head back into the pillows.
tears filled your eyes again at his mean words, before you almost shrieked at him pulling your head up by your hair. he harshly pulled your scalp to rest under his propped up arm.
he was leaning over you, almost like he was a predator. taking his prey. taking what he, thought he deserved. “stop fuckin’ cryin’ like you still a little girl— always fuckin’ cryin. sick of that shit, precious.”
you made eye contact with him, your chest rising and falling. “you gonna act like you fuckin’ want this— got it?” he said, not waiting for a reply before pulling your dead weight body to sit up. he pulled out his growing hard dick, before shoving it past your lips.
he threaded your hair into his hands, guiding your movements. “fuck— just take dad’s dick— okay? be grateful. be grateful for what i give you.” you whined around his length, feeling him hit the back of your throat.
he continued his movements, his dick soon twitching between your pink lips. “so fuckin’ dumb. seriously— don’t even know why i keep you here precious.” he spoke, with a groan. he soon came, promptly pulling out of your mouth.
he never did that.
he came on your face, almost to embarrass you. which worked. you had his sticky cum stuck in your lashes, a bit in your hair, and resting on your plump lips. he took a good look at your face; smiling. “lookin’ pretty, baby.” he spoke.
he grabbed your chubby cheeks, pulling them apart and forcing you into a toothy smile. “looks like you enjoyed that shit just fine— huh? knew you liked it.”
and maybe his words were right, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t avoid him for hours after it.
#precious 🦢#barry smut#barry obx#barry coded#barry outer banks#foryopage#pintrestgrl#foryou#obx au#obx#this felt longer in my head#is this cute
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happy tummy tuesday - from a femme trying very hard to love my body everyday 🫶🏻
#my tummy has survived a lot too she’s missing a whole organ !!! and got me through and i think that’s pretty badass#was feeling good today i like my tummy today#trying to love her everyday#If u have hip dips like me just know ily very much#lesbian nsft#wlw ns/fw#18+ mdni#femme4all#dyke nsft#femme4butch#femme4femme#sapphic nsft
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#12:12#might delete later who knows lol#i ate dinner and accidentally napped until like 11pm so now i'll inevitably be up all night hehe (i love the night so it's okay)#i'm feeling super cozy and lazy today after the first half of the week being super busy and wearing my lil ass out lmao#finally got the chance to just relax and lounge around today weee#gemini season has me feeling like a lil qt lately so i apologize for the selfies but it feels good to feel a lil confident c:#myself#mine#my post#my photo#felt cute#selfie#selfie tag#selfie time#selfie post#mirror pic#mirror selfie#bedroom selfie#cozy girl#lazy girl#belly button ring#navel piercing#midriff#navel#late night selfies#long legs#tummy#crop top
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I literally ate One Thing today and my stomach has decided to rebel.
#witewawwy so tired of being sick#i feel mostly fine except for you know the excessive amounts of time ive spent hunched over clutching my tummy#i at least am not still in back pain which is what killed me yesterday#u ever take 4 showers in 1 day (yesterday) to try soothing the pains ?#u ever eat 1 meal in 1 day (today) and regret it for the next 8 hours?#ive tried so hard to be good and rest and FOR WHAT ! a still horty tummy#inhaling too much still hurts and im like please body this is a basic human function ? breathing? why hurt?
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damn. first time since i started taking buses again. the bus had issues and the driver got all of us off in the middle of the way
#well at least now i have an excuse for being late beyond 'my tummy hurt 🥺'#damn i had a good spot on the bus and everything 😔 i had a feeling smth was going to go wrong. today does not feel like a good luck day 🤨#and ig this confirmed my suspicions. ughhhhh#update: on the next bus yippee. got the same good spot even. but i am soooo late lol 😭😭😭
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my therapist validated me in ways I'm realizing I've almost never been validated in my life and like. idk i think something genuinely healed in me
#i wish i had the words to better describe the bitter sweet feelings im having today#bc like. healing feels good later but it feels so bad in the moment#but if i share more i fear ill be misunderstood and like#what's that one post - partially healed something can look like untreated to others but i won't perform my rock bottom for you?#that's the vibe of this#anyway my tummy hurts and i feel a little empty inside
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i dont want to give in to Modern Shapewear but i really hate when im trying to have a Fun Outfit and theres fucking Distinct Lines from various under wear bands (bra, undies, maybe a pair of tights?) all at separate points? that are impossible to hide bc the outer wear is fucking form fitting spandex
#toy txt post#if it were easier to make bespoke structured underclothing to create a smoother silhouette. god. i would. but thats so much more investment#in time and money and materials and hours to probably fuck it up at least the first coupke times vs just buying a fucking tummy control#camisole or some shit. but i cannot fucking stand the marketing around it. i dont want to put money to that. im not trying to Look Thinner#im trying to achieve a specific smoother silhouette w my clothing to look like a little clown and vintage silhouettes#rely so often on structured underclothing that the closest analogue to today is: fucking shapewear! unless i go out and get an actual#corset. but those tend to be more expensive. and im not aiming necessarily for the classic corset look i feel like a lot of the ones for#sale offer which seems to be very......booby. but the flatter more smoothing silhouette that was consistent between both menswear#and womenswear. the lengths it takes to be a nonbinary fucking clown. sighs deeply#also thinking again about the stupid fucking gold harley quinn jumpsuit i got like the movie that i Want to like and it Isnt Bad#but the material of the one in the movie is much thicker so its doesnt BEHAVE the same way as fucking form fitting spandex. and i know why#they did spandex. cos like. easier to sell cheaper to make fits a wider range etc. but i just want a fucking piece like that as an Actual#Garment of Clothing not a fucking spandex Halloween costume and couldnt find anything like it for less than $500. which is honestly#probably a reasonable price for labor and materials but not one i can justify? its just frustrating cos its So Close to good but the fuckin#Material just Ruins it for me and not even necessarily cos of like lack of shapewear lumpiness but like the way it drapes on the body the#way it stretches as spandex just looks Wrong. aaaaaaagaghgghghghggh#rage. anger. etc. need to learn how to sew my own shit at least a little. maybe a full length binder like 1 size up for comfort? scary#for context i also struggle with breathing from the lightest amount of Too Much Chest Compression. like sometimes bras will Get Me#so thats the other factor here. i dont know that this is necessarily looking for advice mostly im whining and complaining while doing#Nothing. ugh#also how much of this issue could be avoided if the form fitting spandex stuff had like. a lining. idk
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looking back and rereading the tbaf series so far for funsies and what the fuck there are SO many typos like i know i posted all of tbaf without proofreading or editing or having a beta reader or anything but also like. jesus christ. i swear i know how to form sentences and words properly please don’t use tbaf as a judgement on my ability to function as a writer
#tbaf#also hi im home sick today bc i woke up at 2:30 am and promptly 🤮#not fun but also got to sleep in#i mean i might go to my afternoon shift if my stomach stops being an asshole#but so far no luck so we’ll see#gonna give myself another like hour or so to just lay down and then try to do what i can to be productive today#despite feeling like Garbo™#no fever tho so im assuming its just like a v mild stomach bug that the kids at work gave me or something#and as a diabetic it decided to make my blood sugar fly up to jupiter lmao#but my sugars are mostly fine now !! which is good!! tummy still no happy tho
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#cw vomit mention#good morning all i don't want to get too graphic but the weird mood i've been in all week + what happened the past 2 days#and then the questionable smoothie i just drank. my tummy feels off. in a i think i will throw up way.#brain is still bad in case u were wondering. btw. i wrote like 300 words last night for my fic though. :)#the fact that it was 5am and i was awake at 8am today is irrelevant.#they speak!
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tummy hurts my final message goodbye
#ive had mild pelvic pain for like. half a week now. its a bit like period cramps + in the same area but not as intense. idfk why#I dont think its bowel (<-no other symptoms and pain area is too low down) or bladder related (<- usually more painful + affects peeing)#sometimes I do get cramps a few days before my period but im midway thru my cycle and idk its not usually like this#not ovulation pain either bc thats supposed to only last a few hours. i dont fucking knooooww#im trying not to think abt it or complain abt it bc if i focus on it too much ill imagine its worse than it is. its rly not that bad#just consistent which is annoying. hopefully itll pass in a few more days. adulthood is all abt having mysterious random pains in ur body#sorry for tmi abt my internal bodily functions do u guys still think im cool.#eurghhh. im glad i went out to parkour today but man i rly wasnt feeling like it. another depression weekend :-(#but its ok im a bit tired of complaining abt being depressed. who give a shit. im doing all i can at the moment and thats fine#back to jobhunting tmr hopefully itll be more fruitful. im expecting to hear back from a few ppl. we'll see. rolling my rock back uphill#im gonna go get a hot water bottle i think... my hands are soooo cold and maybe itll soothe tummy pain too#and then read a little more.. finished giovannis room earlier (so fucking good but. devastating) so im back onto deaths end#just another 350 pages to go.. v curious to see where its gonna end up cuz so much crazy shit keeps happening. im just at the fairytales#hope my loyal followers are having a peaceful weekend.... farewell#.diaries
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upon further inspection this might be my period again so i could just be experiencing Puberty Period Emotions
#evieposting#i feel so dumb#having my emotions go haywire like this#im scared that i will just burst into tears in public#ive cried twice today and it was a good day!#im almost crying again!#hrt is worth it but god this is the second time ive lost it completely#if my tummy gets any hurtier i swear to god
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#so today I went to the doctor and found out I am still the same weight I’ve been for four years#and this is good news because I am perfect weight for my height#but recently I’ve been feeling so bad about my body and thinking about how round my tummy is and how much I dislike how I look#and I’ve thought it’s because I’ve gained weight and this time I was so sure of it and I was so ready to go to the gym to lose a few pounds#but instead it is all literally in my head and self manufactured#and this perception that I’ve gained weight is all just a lie fabricated by my mind#and it’s so frustrating because I thought I was doing so good with my eating disorder#but instead I’m still just mentally I’ll and I feel like crying#because even though I beat the physical battle I will never be done with the mental battle#and like I don’t even think about others weight#I have worked so hard to combat all the internalized fat phobia from my adolescence and adult hood and still I struggle with this#and I’m so mad I could scream#because if I can see the beauty and love in everyone else#why does eating an apple for my own nourishment feel like a crime?!#literally this is so hard and I just don’t know how to fix it#anyways
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No link intober for today, got busy, so I'll just have to do two prompts for day 9 XD
#also still not feeling too well#it comes and goes#chronic tummy ache survivor lmaooo#okay but this one is my fault ill admit#waaaayyyy too many cookies#its not my fault theyre so freaking GOOD#food tastes better when you bake it yourself#but yeah i got busy today cuz my mom went chore crazy#then i went out to do errands#then my mom wanted to play skyward sword#well she wanted to relax abd i got her to play skyward sword#she likes loz#but like mostly the mechanics not really the story#botw she enjoys picking apples and mushrooms#catching bugs#and breaking things#also horse riding tho she regularly gets it stuck in the weirdest places then cries to me cuz her horse is on a mountain#shes gotten really far on her own in sksw tho#in botw im very hand holdy cuz she does not do well with the controls#so she does the farming simulator stuff and then im the one doing shrines and dungeons#but so far in sksw ive only taken the controls once or twice just to show her how to do it then shes off on her own#she did the whole wing ceremony by herself and like that surprised me fr#shes on the surface rn idk if she'll be able to do the imprisoned yet#ill see how well she handles ghirahim first lmao#shes really funny sometimes tho#she called her loftwing 'the duck'#and then she got mad at zelda for getting distracted in that one cutscene and goes 'you're of no use you gor distracted'#i also have to use code words with her to tell her the controls cuz she only knows them by the names she gave them in botw#like the dpad is the 'chickee chickees' cuz thats the sound it makes in botw#its fun
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i wanna like…. throw up! or something! aaaaaaaaaaah!!!
#too much going on AND my senior at work is intimidating!!!!#today I was like ‘hey this confirm from the bank doesn’t tie at all. like it’s off by 10 million’#and she’s like ‘are you sure you aren’t looking at the one from last year’#I was NOT!!!!!!!#that just made me feel dumb even though I was right#hnnnnn then I had to study for 3.5 hours and that SUCKED#studying SUCKS#working is good bc they’re paying me money#but I want to make more money so I must continue studying 🤪#my tummy hurts
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sometimes I don't do anything (productive/useful) for days and it makes me feel so bad and gross and worthless
then I have a good day and do so much
maybe, just maaaybe, that has something to do with one or more of the following:
I'm in some level of pain most days
when I'm in pain I can't do much
some days my executive dysfunction is (much) worse than others and I physically can't make myself get up and do things no matter how much I want or need to
I get overwhelmed when there's too many things that need to get done because I see all of them all of the time and untangling that mess in my head takes so much energy and effort
when I've been feeling bad for a bit things get messy because my partner is busy with work, so then I feel too overwhelmed to even get started
I want to do all the things, I make lists and I try and try and try, even when I don't feel great - but then I just end up feeling worse
but no my brain is still convinced it must be because I'm lazy and don't want to contribute anything or whatever
#I literally LIKE cleaning/tidying#it's fun!! when I can do it without my brain or body being shitty.#anyway today has been good so far and now my tummy hurts so I am on the couch and feeling useless#as usual.#and the worst part is - I would NEVER judge anyone else like this. I don't even believe that 'laziness' exists! I don't think anyone is#a bad person if they don't do certain things. even if it's just because they don't want to!#but when it's me? eww I'm disgusting and worthless 🤢#personal
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It’s nap time 😴
#zzzzz#1:30 now let’s see how long I sleep#not feeling too good today :/#went to work did my stuff now my tummy is like broooo
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