#was also really hard to just pick one song from kai's first album

[shakshukagirl]

thank you @running-in-the-dark for tagging me <33

Rules: Post 5 songs you never hit skip on!

fu-gee-la by the fugees

little lies by fleetwood mac

angel by the weeknd

i wanna be down by brandy, mc lyte, queen latifah, yo yo

amnesia by kai

tagging @sunshinezei @scourgebrother @applepeelallergy @figgyblossom @sentimentalfuturist @heartinsnow @hairlice @coliepng @veritable-trash and anyone who sees this and wants to do it (no pressure ofc)

[cinemaglow]

Thoughts on Nightwish’s new album Yesterwynde, after listening to it about three times.  I like this album a lot more than their last album Human::Nature.  One of the chief problems I had with H::N was that they underutilized Emppu Vuorinen, one of the best metal guitarists in the scene, both by hiding him in the mix and just not giving him any opportunities to shine.  Yesterwynde fixes that problem for the most part, although there are some points where the mix is…bad.  I didn’t have super high hopes for this album since I wasn’t too impressed by the singles, but it turns out the singles were just the weakest songs on the album.  When it’s meh it’s just meh and when it’s good it’s REALLY GOOD.  This is the first album without Marko Hietala, and while his absence is inevitably conspicuous there are times when they successfully play to the strengths of the remaining band members to compensate.  Jukka Koskinen from Wintersun does a great job on bass with some unique little flourishes.  The subject matter is much the same as the last two albums but there are some musical elements that are reminiscent of much earlier albums, which should be a pleasant surprise for fans of older Nightwish.  There are also some very new sounds; in particular some very electronic-sounding synths woven through the album.  These might be controversial but personally I think they work really well. 

I think I will probably buy this album on CD.  Even the songs I didn’t like as much may grow on me with repeated listening.  High points: Something Whispered Follow Me, Spider Silk.  Low Points: The Day Of, Perfume of the Timeless.

Track by Track

Yesterwynde

A very promising start.  I really like the choir sound at the beginning here.  Unfortunately most of the rest of the album will feature a more Imaginaerum-esque choir sound, which, while I think it was perfect for that album, can get a bit stale on this one.

An Ocean Of Strange Islands

The beginning especially is trying SO hard to be Storytime but it comes out muddled, with just too much going on.  There are no sounds that ever soar above the rest.  There’s a gorgeous guitar solo that you can barely hear over everything else (war flashbacks to Human::Nature).  I think the lyrics would be painting a compelling picture if I could follow them better.  I think I would really like this one if it just had better mixing.  I wonder if the fact that they don’t have Pip Williams doing their orchestral arrangement has anything to do with it.

The Antikythera Mechanism

I don’t have a lot to say about this one.  Still suffering from some muddy mixing at some points.  I think fans of Endless Forms Most Beautiful will really like this one.  I dig the little industrial section in the middle a lot.  This might be a song that sounds better live than on the album.

The Day Of...

I’m not a fan of the “Tuomas gives Floor a whole bunch of words to sing to a repetitive melody” approach, personally.  I will say something nice: I am pleasantly surprised by the electronic background on the verses. 

Perfume Of The Timeless

Needs Jukka Nevalainen.  Maybe I’m the only one that can hear a difference, but Kai Hahto, while technically proficient, lacks a tonal je ne sais quoi that Jukka had.  Again, I’m not a fan of the repetitive, staccato melody.  The constant “hah hah hah” choir sounds like one of the sounds my old 90s Yamaha keyboard could make, and it gets a little old.  Overall sounds like something off of EFMB.

Sway

Emppu Vuorinen gets to show off his gorgeous, extremely underrated acoustic guitar work here.  Acoustic Nightwish album/tour when?  Reminds me of the original demos for Angels Fall First.  Floor and Troy sound great together.  This is the point in the album where the orchestration and choir start actually sounding good; they come in gradually and the way they build is stunning.  At the end we have several melodic lines going but you can easily pick each of them out of the mix.  They should have edited Islands and Perfume down a bit and made this one a bit longer.

The Children Of 'Ata

If Tuomas doesn’t get to do an orientalism at least once per album he will die apparently.  The drum machine reminds me of Erasure and I’m not mad about it.  Floor’s performance is great.  The choral arrangements remind me of Once.  There are also bits that make me think of Oceanborn.  There’s a great little harp section. 

Something Whispered Follow Me

This is the Nightwish I love.  They bring Emppu out right from the beginning, unlike in H::N where he was hopelessly buried in the mix for the whole album.  Arrangement/mixing is lush but still clean, with the orchestration enhancing rather than distracting from the sound of the band.   Structurally it balances tension and quieter moments beautifully.   I love the swoopy little synth lick in the middle.  The only thing that makes me sad is that the backing vocals have a gaping Marko Hietala-shaped hole in them. 

Spider Silk

Again, a high point for me.  It starts with Tuomas’ signature piano at the beginning, but with some dark, modal touches.  Emppu gets to do some bluesy, almost Floydian guitar licks.  I love it.  The mixing allows the orchestra to work together with the heavy guitar and rhythm section rather than drowning them out.  Floor is a powerhouse.  I feel like it’s a little mean that every time Troy Donockley starts singing I’m like “we have Marko Hietala at home” but this song would be so good with Marko.

Hiraeth

Finally a song where the male vocal parts actually sound like they were written for Troy and not Marko.  I love how it goes back and forth between major and minor.  The buildup is gorgeous.  I do wish we could hear it with Jukka Nevalainen on drums.  I love the little touches of synth. 

The Weave

More synth—a newish sound for the band, but one that works really well.  Besides that this is a very classic Nightwish sound.  The Imaginaerum-style choral sound actually works really well here.  Musical callbacks to Grieg’s Hall of the Mountain King, which is a lot of fun.  Relentless guitar and drums, some good horn parts in the orchestra.  Floor showcases the full range of her abilities and literally ends the song on a very strong note.

Lanternlight

I have literally nothing bad to say about this one.  I was surprised by how much Tuomas’ piano playing has improved technically.  Not that there was anything wrong with it before but his touch and phrasing are on another level here.  Troy’s vocals are utilized very well rather than sounding like discount Marko.  Goosebumps all the way.   This is a great closer that immediately makes me want to start the album over again. 

[cato-of-blamesociety]

32 Weeks Tracklist/Song Picks pt. 1 (weeks 1-8)

How/Why did I choose/chose to use the songs I did

*Full breakdown, updated in real time(weekly)*

1. Silent Hill by Kendrick Lamar x Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers

This song was chosen due to subtle melodies but a hard hitting beat. MMATBS played a huge role in my life last summer when it debuted. I followed Kenny like crazy, checking his insta and youtube regularly to see what he would do next. The music videos were food that I consumed over and over again, trying to fully tap into his message. There were other tracks in the album I wanted to remix such as; Purple Hearts/N95/Crown...but Silent Hill just felt more like my style. The lyrics basically wrote themselves. I was able to adequately outline my views for this project, and my goals quickly in the introduction.

2. Promise by Lupe Fiasco x Drogas Light

Drogas was released in 2017, and honestly I can't recall which project I heard first: Drogas or DAMN(Kendrick). I do remember copping the physical CD at a Target and bumping it in the whip on my way home. Lupe has always been a favorite artist of my mine. Dopest metaphors, cool ass voice, and he doesnt compromise his craft. Anyway, in the song, he raps about how rappers lie so much that they can't maintain thier image or even their careers. For me, I have always wanted to rip this beat and I finally did. It provided a dope but repetitive rhythmic framework for me to lay out my direction, my goals, and intentions as a(n): husband, father, artist, this project, and really my life in general moving forward. I hope you vibe with it heavy.

3. Cuff If by Beyonce x Renaissance

As a recent fan of Beyonc�� (Lemonade, Everything is Love, Black is King, and Renaissance), I have come to really use the messaging to lean more into my partner. The music that was released (Lemonade and beyond) I felt spoke more to me about cherishing these relationships between spouse, our children and our community. I may not have a huge impact on the world, but to someone close to me, I know that my existence may mean the world to them. This is especially true with marriage. At least mine. We learn to love each other better, to grow together, and hell, parent together. It's not easy. So it's moments like this one where we enjoy our company and have fun.

4. Cut Me a Break ft. TI x The Free Nationals

I happened to stumble across The Free Nationals about 2 years ago. I had begun listening to Anderson.Paak which put me on to Mac Miller, BJ the Chicago Kid, and The Free Nationals. There is a Tiny desk concert that made me respect Paak's talent but also his playfulness with the band made me want learn more. I searched them on Spotify and found that they had released a Self-titled album in 2019...which comes after the death of Mac Miller. He makes an appearance on "Time" and makes me tear up. Anyway, I love the fact that they also released an instrumental version of the album. I knew that I wanted to incorporate them on this project, and this track, "Cut Me a Break" features T.I. coming in hot, and honestly, I don't follow T.I.P.'s music so it was dope to hear an up to date verse from him. I have come to respect and admire his distinguished voice which definitely pops with the band's instrumentation. When I was jamming the instrumental, I starting hearing/coming up with magic metaphors. My album (at the moment untitled/nearly completed) is based on alchemy, growth and self improvement, and 32 weeks is another way to play with that motif and set the stage for the album release. Hope you enjoy!

5. Gray Area ft. Mick Jenkins x Kaytranada

Not going to lie to you all, Kaytranada was a fresh one on my radar. I really didn't know about him. In the beginning stages of writing this tape, I was on the hunt for new music, and it slips my mind but there was trajectory that I followed to landed me to find him. I believe the first project I heard was 99.9% . Then I checked out Bubba which made me realize I f***s with Kay's music. I was super excited when I saw that Bubba had an Instrumental Version. Next step was narrowing down which track I would use. This process took longer than expected because as true Kaytranada fans know...each track was hot. There were so many options. I ended up finding myself being moved by Gray Area. I loved the visualizer he had posted YouTube as well. Next thing you know, I began opening up about my parents, more so my dad, and how their passed down the creativity that I now express. I was visiting my mom one day with my wife and kids. She had on her dinning room table old cards/letters from years past. I spotted one that my dad had made/gave to her. It had his handwriting and omg it was very NSFW lol. Not really but it was definitely cringy for an adult son to read about his father's feelings for his mother. However, my mom began sharing stories about them dating, the nicknames, etc. I realized I got my naughty side from them, and my spark to create/write from my dad. I am truly grateful for that info, as it helps me understand who I am, and what I want to do with my life. I spue some serious dope lines in this track. I hope you enjoy!

6. Fake Names x Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

This one was fun to write. I really stretched my brain to make the metaphors work. A friend introduced me to Freddie's music. I believe Pinata was the first song I heard him on. I definitely went through his whole catalog. Much respect to his craft. When selecting Fake Names, i was searching through his more recent works and I had remembered that his collab with Madlib was fire. Those beats are gold. This one just stuck out the most most. Easy flow, to really take time to dig into the bars, low ambience for vocal presence to shine, and the beat switch which signals the end of my verse. I love the beginning lines expressing my goals. 3 main points: acknowledgement as an emcee, obtaining the bag, and completing every project in the works at the moment. Watch me accomplish each goal!

7. Wailin' x Outkast

This track I feel is straight forward. Although, it should be noted that Wailin' is the oldest track/instrumental that I chose for this project. There really is no true reason why, especially since I was aiming to keep tracks more modern...like no earlier than 2010ish. I have always loved Outkast and ATLiens & Aquemini are my favorite 'Kast albums. I have used Liberation on a previous project. I had begun writing the verse a long time ago, but never gotten around to finish it. However once I was in 32Weeks mode, it was easy and fun to complete. My favorite line pays homage to a song on the ATLiens album (not this one in particular) "Don't wanna float face down in the mainstream, I'd rather walk to my destination on my own two feet..". "Mainstream" speaks a lot about how artist end up either selling out, selling their "souls" , or even flopping/dead all for the fame. I don't worry about that. I do aim for recognition of my effort and skills as an artist, the bread for that said effort, and to continue doing what I do. I hope that if you are reading this you can understand and identify with all that I say. Also, as someone who is working hard to make a dream a reality, I hope you know that if you feel the same pain, the torment, or even the struggles of everyday life, I got you. That is precisely the reason I make music, to help the listeners cope with life.

8. Umbrella ft. 21 Savage x Metro Boomin

This one was one that I truly found joy in writing. Metro Boomin's productions are always fire. You will see later that I indulged in his work for this project. I came across the Album Heroes and Villains and really didn't truly understand where Metro was going with this. I knew it was catchy af though because each track had it's own vibe, and audio return value. The 1st two tracks are what really pulled me in. As I was searching for beats for 32weeks, I knew I wanted a Metro track...then I discovered that he released the Hero's version of his album...which the second half had all the instrumentals. It was like he was asking for artists to take a stab at creating their own origin stories/sharing them. Which is exactly what I did. Because I am adapting my own story to his track I decided to tell my story of my younger self; death of father, single mother household, selling substances, getting arrested for selling said substances, growing out of that mindset, and walking into the man that I am today. Needless to say, just like this only the first phase of journey, it is also just the beginning of 32 Weeks. I hope those of you seeing this..today 8/30/23 as I write this, or ten/twenty years later, that you find a gem or glimmer of hope from my heart to yours.

[gyuworm]

Hihi lili !! ✨️✨️

Hope classes went well and you're resting now!!

One of my all time favorite TXT mvs would have to be Can't You See Me. I think you'll like it 😁 It has like a horror vibe to it. I also really like the mv for PUMA which is from the same album 😅 All the mvs are so good tho. They're supposed to all blend together as a story line. MY BIAS that's a funny question. It started as Kai and then went to Taehyun but now it's Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Kai. But I feel like I'm more Ot5. It's too hard to pick.

OOO! I wanna see it but I have to be honest. I haven't seen ANY of the Scream movies.. I dunno why I just haven't been around to it yet. My favorite is The Conjuring Universe. I even have the book from the first movie. And it's signed. But idk if it's real?? I got it second hand.

I do the same thing you do. I guess the ending and 9 times outta 10 I'm right.. Maybe that's why my favorite board game is Clue lol. Squid Game made me think of AIB but I didn't have any emotional attachment to the characters like I did with AIB. And I found out they're based off of like the same book?? I think it was a book or something.. i forget 😅 so don't take my word for it!!

Also tyty✨️°▪︎♡ that means a lot 🥹🤧 I used to write romance.. a loooong time ago lol I was on a lil website called Quotev. It's like stories and quizzes. I don't really write fics anymore.. I feel like I'd like to but I wouldn't know how to set everything up to reach who I'd like to reach. My genre was always romace or angst. I'm a sucker for some good angst. Imma force u to watch a romance drama 😈 ✨️

UR KILLING ME AAA lemme think.. top 5 between bothhh

1. Can't you see me

2. Answer

3. Wishlist

4. WONDERLAND

5. Cat & Dog

#1 would be every single txt song if i could pick that honestly. I have 0 skips. What do you listen to music on?

~ 🍓♡

classes were okay! i took a nap when i got home whoop whoop! 🥳🥳

i’ll definitely check out those two videos and a few others then let you know what i thought!!

the scream franchise is pretty good overall but there’s a few that don’t really hit as good 😭😭 idk if i’ve ever seen any of the conjuring movie(s)? (is there more than one?? hahah)

i know AIB is based off a manga but i didn’t know squid game was? 0: i guess they do have similar elements so i wouldn’t be surprised!

HAHA yes i know of quotev i used to read on there. tbh when i started writing on this blog i didn’t know what i was doing (and i still really don’t) a big part of engagement comes from using tags!! it honestly just depends on the fandom and when people are active i think. + i’m down to watch a romance drama!!

i listen to music on spotify!! what about you?

[jeontaehui]

nananananana (210331 VLIVE)

taehee bites back a grin as fans enter the live. “hello everyoneeee,” she greets softly, her cheekbones lifting into a soft smile. “i’m in the practice room once again.”

“i was just learning a dance actually, it’s my break right now so this’ll probably be short,” she mentions. “and then i turned on vlive without asking permission— well, i did ask permission after i... turned it on,” she giggles. “she’s gonna say yes anyways. no one can say no to me,” the comments section blows up after she sent a sly wink to the viewers. she knew her effect on them one way or another. 

mark lee i love you HELLO THE TITLE?? IS THIS A SPOILER???

lee donghyuck’s long hair i only entered the live but i feel like crying T—T why must she be so cute

taeyongbub taehee in the practice room is so attractive??? wth???

taehee tucks a few strands behind her ear asking, “did you guys have dinner already? have you guys eaten?”

mataechan what did taehee eat today?

hyuckschurros PIZZA !!!!

“aw, pizza? i’m craving now,” she shortly puts on a pout before a smile shows itself once again. “i haven’t eaten but i think i’ll have........ um,” taehee seems to think for a moment as she looks up the ceiling, trying to remember what jungwoo said she’d have at the dorms.

“i can’t remember,” she shrugs, proceeding to continue reading the comments.

jungwoo tehet are you going to dance again?

aussiechan TAEHEEEE !!! come home to australia :(

svtzen DREAM SPOILERS PLEASEE

“the dance that me and my teacher did today was to party favors by tinashe! i have to practice some more to get it right but i’m,” she stands up and dusts off her track pants, placing the phone on the floor in front of the mirror, “going to show you guys the part where i’m most confident in.”

she disappears as she goes to the side to play the music, and the strong beats of tinashe’s party favors fills the practice room. she adjusts her pants around her waist and runs a hand through her black hair, ruffling her bangs for a moment before getting into position.

she dances. no matter how hard-hitting the choreography is, taehee knew well how to control her own body, and gracefully yet powerfully sync her movements to the beats.

taehee marry me she’s so hot what the heck do i do

markcity i’m single for this reason only

fullsunnn THIS IS WHY WE NEED A TAEHEE SOLO ASAP !!!

from the corner of her eye, taehee sees her dance instructor imitate the part where she got the dance wrong during their practice, causing her to lose focus and burst into laughter.

ncityinthehouse everyone, the duality of miss jeon taehee

“unnie is laughing at me right now!” taehee giggles. her eyes glance to the side then back to the screen. “yes so, until there did i memorize the dance. i’ll try to post on instagram the full version of it. oh!” she claps her hands excitedly, a habit nctzens took note of before she says an idea.

“since it’s a wednesday today and! the end of the month, you guys can comment whatever you guys want me to do or any question you want to ask and i’ll answer them.”

“i’m going to scroll with my eyes closed and whatever my finger lands on will be picked,” she cutely asks if the viewers got it before briefly explaining what she just said in english.

“i’ll give you guys maybe 30 seconds? is 30 seconds enough? okay, ready and start!”

taehee bobbed her head as she counted the numbers in her head. “30! okay, i’ll close my eyes now.”

juhfahm skincare routine?

merrymark give us a phone tour :D

twiceyeon please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung !!!! <3

“from twiceyeon,” taehee reads, putting her emcee mode on. “please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung! ohh i think i’ve seen this on my recommended but i haven’t had the time to watch it— sorry, chaeyoung-ah,” she winces.

you can hear keys being tapped on taehee’s phone screen as she typed the title on youtube’s search bar. the music video appears a few seconds later and she immediately clicks on it.

“oooo dahyun-ssi is very pretty,” taehee says. her expression quickly changes when she sees the twice member use her foot as she played the piano, her hand going up to cover the giggles that escaped out of her. “this is so cool,” she beamed.

“oh sexy!” taehee exclaims after chaeyoung appeared. “i really like chaengie’s short hair.”

she compliments the set when the scene changes, a summer pool vibe replacing the vintage set-up at the intro. “the dance is cute too,” she mumbles.

she smiles at chaeyoung and dahyun’s playfulness in the music video before moving on to compliment her best friend again. “chaeyoung is seriously so pretty... whaaat!”

taehee continues to watch the rest of the video as she moves to the beat, occasionally letting out a chuckle or two at the adorableness of the duo.

“hold on,” she grabs her earphones and plugs them into her phone. “(it’s) to avoid copyright,” she smirks.

taehee finishes the music video with a grin on her face, “the music video was very cute! did they perform this on stage? i think the stage set and the fits would’ve been pretty.”

“speaking of music videos, baekhyun hyung’s new album just dropped yesterday! have you guys watched the music video?” taehee shuffles closer to the camera to read the comments. almost everyone was saying that they did, in fact, watch the music video and really enjoyed it.

“i never said this directly to him but i really am a fan of his, seriously,” she dictates. taehee breaks into a grin as she giggles again, the viewers watching how her eyes twinkled while she talked. “‘bambi’ is really great— it’s immaculate. you guys should stream the whole album and recommend it to your family and friends. baekhyunie hyung never fails to deliver (good songs).”

bbhubblegum taehee promoting baekhyun and other artists better than sm pt. 74628392

going on her phone, she mumbles, “and i really like the choreography of his songs.” there was an adorable pout to her lips as she spoke, much to the amusement of the viewers.

then she looks up from the device in her hands and her eyes hold a certain glint in them before she playfully squints. “just be quiet about this though. i am never gonna hear the end of this from him,” she shakes her head with an amused chuckle, recalling all the times baekhyun teased her and the ‘admiration’ she has for him.

“you’re my only bambi bambi,” taehee sang effortlessly. “it’s a perfect night for you,” her tone was a little softer this time.

“okay so that was our first request? dare? of the live, let’s get to the next one right away!”

taeheeroar do you listen to the neighborhood?

wooyoungification do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?

“the next one is.... wooyoungification! ooo wooyoung-ah hello,” taehee says, prolonging the last syllable of her sentence. “they asked, “do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?”

“well,” she clears her throat, furrowing her eyebrows as if she were in thought. “there are a lot of great artists out there. taylor swift is already my answer by default but,” she giggles again, “if i have to think of people outside sm, i think it’d be nice to have a collab with stray kids’ 3racha. they’re their producing unit if i’m not mistaken. it’d be fun to work with them.”

“i also had this dream of having a collaboration stage with the other dancers outside nct, like blackpink’s lisa or seulgi unnie. would you guys want that?”

midzyseason this isnt good for my gay ass

reveluvbar can taehee just take over sm

taehee hums, “i think i never mentioned it before but i wanna try doing drama ost’s too. i don’t watch as much dramas as i do before, but when i was still learning korean, they helped me so much.”

“i watched ‘guardian: the lonely and great god’ a lot and i really liked ‘stay with me’. hopefully, i can collab with punch too.”

taehee unconsciously moves her lips to the side, forming another pout and thinks again. “from sm, i think kai hyung? not counting superm, okay?” she beams.

“kai hyung and,” then a snort escapes taehee before she could even stop it, “baekhyun hyung.”

she puts a hand to her chest once she recovers from her mini-giggling fit before holding it up and swearing it was the truth. “these two were the ones that came to the top of my head, seriously.”

beansprout lolll remember when kai used to “complain” about taehee ever only talking about sehun cause he was the one she was closest to in exo when they first met ?

sodangerous it’s so touching how taehee looked up to exo while she was still a trainee and now they’re like family

taehee nods and bites her bottom lip, asking herself, “why do i feel like a youtuber?”

she smiles to someone off screen and quickly glances back to the camera, “next question!”

asteroidsung what did you get for renjun’s birthday?

“what did i get for renjun’s birthday? i just gave mine literally yesterday. i know it’s summer but i gave him a hoodie that i thought would look cute on him,” she smiles. “it was pink.”

“i was with haechanie when i bought it.”

chenlezoned hyuck said he’s gonna marry daegal next month

“hyuck’s gonna marry who now?!” taehee exclaims, “DAEGAL’S A MINOR!!!”

dreamtopia BYEEEEEEE

themissingpuzzlepiece everyone at haechan marrying daegal:❓❓meanwhile taehee: 🌋🌋⁉️

boohoohyuck sending my prayers to lee haechan

just then, taehee’s phone suddenly rings and her eyes widen at the caller id displayed on the screen. “wow, this dude’s timing is really! spot-on.”

she puts the speaker on, “donghyuck-ah, what’s this i’m hearing that you’re marrying daegal?? are you leaving me and chubs already?! oh and you’re on speaker.”

fullseun don’t you just cry on the inside when markhee calls hyuck by his real name or fullsun

you hear haechan’s boisterous laughter first before he could answer taehee’s question. “i talked about that on vlive,” he said, “where are you?”

“i’m doing vlive.”

“but it’s almost midnight.”

when taehee makes no move to answer, haechan goes, “are you in the practice room again?”

“so?” taehee answers sassily, causing the boy on the other end of the line to groan.

“noona, we talked about this already,” haechan whines. “then we can talk about it again later!” taehee shrugs exasperatedly. “noona....” the former warns, as if he was scolding a child. “i’m just on a break,” she gives in, “i’ll go home soon.”

“promise?” taehee rolls her eyes, though it was clear that she was grateful for haechan’s concern by the soft smile she held on her face. “i promise.”

taehyuckles i know i wished for a taehyuck live but this will suffice Gosh they are so cute !!!!!!

“you haven’t said hello to czennie,” taehee reminds him. “czennie, hello!!” he greets sweetly.

“anyways, i just called you because you agreed to playing a few rounds with me but i’ll just wait for you until you get home,” taehee winces at his statement. she might have forgotten. “oh right, i’m sorry. just a few more minutes?” haechan hums affirmatively from the other end.

“get home safely, noonaaa,” after they exchanged their goodbyes, taehee hangs up the call.

“yes, okay! everyone that was lee haechan on the phone with me and i think i can do,” she turns her back to look at the wall clock in the practice room, “three more comments.”

yangqied taehee’s an idol in the day, pro-gamer by night

“okay, so our next question is: are you friends with aespa? yes! i am friends with aespa,” she beamed.

“i actually saw them the day before their debut stage. my time slot in the practice room was after theirs and so we met there,” taehee recalls. “they’re very pretty! and they look cool when they danced to ‘black mamba’. i wished them luck on their debut stage,” she chuckles.

taehee closes her eyes and proceeds to swipe at the screen, “next question is... oh! i dare you to post on instagram. okay, let me find some photos and show you guys so we can all vote.”

“i’ll send them on bubble but i’ll show it here too in case you guys don’t have a subscription. that’s okay.”

markerlee tb to when taehee sent her pcs to bubble... she really said fuck capitalism !!!!

“okay, option 1: this one,” she brings her phone up to the screen, showing a picture of her with the bird filter on mac.

jisungbye I LIKE THIS ONEEE

kunniekunkun this one’s cute!!!

moloism markhee pls post ur photos with the mac filters im begging you

“orrrr this one,” she faces her phone towards the camera once more. she was sitting on the pavement with the view of the orange-pink sunset behind her, a mask concealing half of her face.

the127thsense everything just screams girlfriend material to me

deryqueen taehee, i am free this friday. i repeat, i am free this friday.

solhyuck i think you should post these as a set on instagram!

“what should i post on instagram? everyone choose between 1 or 2!” taehee tells them in korean, before switching to english. “you guys pick between the first one and the second one, and i’ll post it on instagram.”

oncezenni 2

flamboyanthyuck the second one!

ohmajesus i like the first one

iamjeno second pleaseee

“mm okay, most of you are voting for the second one so i’ll be posting that first thing tomorrow! and then i’ll just send the other one on bubble,” taehee puts her pinky finger up as she speaks, making a promise to the viewers.

“how many was that? two already?” a pout subtly makes its way on taehee’s lips and a few of her hair strands fell in front of her face, causing her to push them back as she huffed. nctzens found it adorable!

takeoffbesttrack can i kiss you.

“can you kiss me?” taehee presses her lips on the tips of her fingers before lightly tapping them on the screen. “i,” one of the corners of her mouth raises to a smirk, “kissed you.”

mahaecries GODDDD

tenvely you will be the death of me

deryqueen AGAIN TAEHEE I AM FREE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT !!!!!!!!!!

taehee giggles after seeing the comment section blow up and her dimples peek out from her cheeks.

“i’m gonna have to end this soon, guys. this is the last one, okay?”

haecity can you go live with markhyuck?

snoopyscoop do you have any more funny stories with jungwoo?

taromilktea did you see sungchan when he debuted as an emcee?

“did i go see sungchan when he debuted as emcee? nooo,” she frowns, “but i did call him on facetime.”

“he said he was nervous but i told him he’d do great! and he did, right?” taehee’s frown was quickly turned into a proud grin. “i watched a replay of it on youtube the day after. he was very cute.”

“i told him to just think of it like he was talking to us so he’s more comfortable, and he told me it helped a lot so i’m relieved,” she nods. “i sent him churros too!”

taehee shuffles closer to the camera and brings her knees close to her chest while she talks, “please support him! i know sungchanie’s glad to have received this opportunity that’s why he’s been practicing diligently.”

taehee reads a few more comments and smiles at the funny ones. the humor of nctzens never fail to make her smile. the memes they send during menpas are so hilarious that she can’t help but reply to most of them.

taeheespresident i guess she’s gonna end the live now? :(

jungwootehet it’s nearing 1 am and i still have school tomorrow...... whoops!

“i’ll have to go now guys, it was nice doing all this with you,” taehee softly mumbles.

“i like this idea of having you guys comment what you would want me to do ‘cause i’m able to connect with you guys more, i’ll try to do a live again soon.”

“the weather’s nice here in korea— well at least for me,” she chuckles, “it rained recently but it might be hot? in other places so please remember to stay hydrated and drink lots of water.”

“also wear your masks and keep social distancing! we’re not only trying to protect ourselves but we have to stop the spreading of it all so,” taehee gives another small smile at the camera as she reminds the people to be careful, “stay safe.”

after a few beats of silence, taehee speaks again. “okay so, until here is taehee’s nananananana live!” she sings while doing the infamous choreo of ‘go’.

empathy127 I KNEW IT WAS FROM GO !!!!

“good night! or good morning to those who are starting their day right now,” she adds, “goodnight! we’ll see you guys soon.”

taehee does her infamous ily hand gesture and winks at the camera before waving bye and ending the livestream.

[kocrecs]

we all know this post is long overdue, but I’ve finally finished it ! if you would like a preview of the finished product, here is the doc & spotify playlist.

I put the post under a read more since it got a little longer than I thought it would be.

I put a lot of planning into my albums so I can make sure they sound somewhat believable. I usually start with a theme for the entire album and leave the concepts to be by song unless I want everything to sound more similar. for today I will be following the theme of love and the different types/stages ! I also like to think of songs that will fit the time period of release, some songs released in 2021 may not be as popular in 2015 or songs released in 2015 may be loved in 2021, if that makes sense. I like to use rollin’ by brave girls as a relevant example of this !

as for naming the album, it usually comes to me as I’m working on finding songs or it comes from the character’s story, or I’ll just use the title track.

when it comes to the formatting of the tracks, I usually look at pre-existing albums to get a feel for track numbers & track layouts. not all albums are structured the same and you should take advantage of that !

a few of the structures I use a lot are the standard mini-album (5-6 songs, no intro or outro) like bambi by baekhyun, the blackpink mini-album (4 songs + a remix, maybe) like kill this love by blackpink, the single album (1-2 songs) like -r- by rosie, the standard album (7-10 tracks, may have an interlude or intro) like neo zone from nct 127, and the “I’m going to release all of my songs for the year at once” album (10-20+ songs) like querencia by chungha.

I’m going to be following chungha’s querencia album with the 4-part 21-track structure, but I’ve added 3 more tracks to even out the parts.

since I’m following querencia’s structure, I’ve decided to pick 4 strong title tracks with b-sides to fit under their individual sounds rather than forcing the album to fit one sound.

first off I’m going to decide what my “sides” will be so I can better fit the theme.

side a : self

the “self” side of free me is all about empowering oneself and expressing self-love in your own ways.

the title track for this side will be bicycle since I think of it as a very empowering song that boost anyone’s confident with one listen. the song has such a unique sound with the bell and vocals that I found it a little difficult to find similar sounding songs.

our b-sides consist of no (clc), breakdown (clc), cry for me (twice), and shut up & groove (heize ft. dean).

I chose no because of the strong message behind it and the layout of certain parts reminded me of the vocal layout in bicycle. breakdown is from the same album as no, which helps with the transition between vibes of tracks. I love the story of breakdown since some times the best form of self-love is removing yourself from relationships that are dragging you down.

I thought cry for me followed the sound of breakdown really well and the key helped with the transition to shut up & groove a lot. you may be wondering about what I’ll do with the featuring artist: I usually pick someone that means a lot to the characters’ stories and if the voice could fit well with the face (of the person used in place of the og featured artist).

side b : savage

I may have taken this side directly from chungha’s album, but I thought it fit well with the “hard to get”/ kinda tsundere vibe ?? if that makes any sense.

the title track for this side will be good girl since hyuna’s message of refusing to fit in with social norms fits very well with the message I’m working to create with this side.

our b-sides are dream of you, uh-oh, hip, and room shaker. I usually try to avoid giving group songs to a soloist, but I really thought hip fit with the theme of good girl. uh-oh seemed to fit well with the overarching theme of playing hard to get, I decided to make this song a collaboration so I wouldn’t feel as bad about it. I also added room shaker because the song has that loud in-your-face kind of sound with a lot of confidence behind the vocals. if you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend it !

side c : love

I wanted this side to have a slower, more chilled out vibe than the previous two, but with room to keep the energy when it’s appropriate.

the title track for this side will be naughty since the song is very energetic, but also carries a nice message that fits the theme. irene & seulgi’s album is full of bangers, I think everyone should listen to them.

our b-sides are x, and july, hell in heaven, and flying on faith. all of these songs were chosen based on their energy and take on love. I don’t want to accidentally repeat myself a lot between these sections, so I’ll just keep my explanations shorter for this and the last one. I think hell in heaven is one of the best songs for this side since it goes so well with naughty’s energy.

side d : hate

for hate, I focused less on that hatred for another person and more on what the hatred of oneself from the outside creates.

the title track for this side will be devil. the song deals a lot with being pushed to the edge and having no more patience for the trash from another person.

our b-sides are noir, don’t know you, liar, and you never know. each of these songs either deal with trying to stop the hate by fitting in with everyone (noir), regretting the way you have treated someone because you’re facing karma (don’t know you), what hate can do to a person if pushed too far (liar), or a cry for it to stop (you never know).

I usually struggle with how to order the songs for a little bit, but I found out that listening to them one after another helps me find good places with transitions between certain songs. the also works with releases as well ! seasons help a lot with determining when an album should be released. I tend to go off when the song was originally released or what kind of vibe it gives me.

this is the order I decided on for this album

side a : love

bicycle

no

breakdown

cry for me

shut up & groove (ft. chanyeol of exo)

side b : savage

dream of you

uh-oh (ft. seulgi of red velvet)

good girl

hip

room shaker

side c : love

x

and july (ft. kai of exo)

naughty (ft. karina of aespa)

hell in heaven

flying on faith

side d : hate

devil

noir

don’t know you

liar

you never know

[103oclock]

[FULL ENG TRANS] 2020.04.20 W Korea’s May edition : Stay happy, cool and strong (Baekhyun)

 EXO Baekhyun’s strong identity is driven by his happiness in enjoying music.

We’ve met before through an interview with EXO, many years ago. I clearly remember something you said then, which was, ‘Before entering SM, I thought I was the best singer in Bucheon.’ Baekhyun at that time did say that (laughs). He had so much ‘confidence.’

Thanks to what you said then, when I see you slowly improving ever since you said that, I think about those stories where a kid who is good at studying enters a science or foreign language high school* and becomes crestfallen after realising where he ranks in the whole school, so he studies with all his heart and becomes the top in school.  Ah, my trainee days was when my confidence took a big blow. It just felt like my song would never get picked since there were so many other people who could sing so well. When you enter as a professional, you can’t be sloppy for even a second, and they will demand for you to be perfect, even down to every detail. I stopped thinking that singing is my specialty, and I had to reevaluate my thoughts on music. *=Science or foreign language high schools are prestigious schools in South Korea.

Even when you were discouraged, at some point your confidence would come back again, right? That’s right, to some extent. Also, I’m not the kind to let someone else dampen my spirit just because they said so (laughs).

I’m aware that you are planning to release your solo album soon. Because of the current situation, changes were made to the initial plans which could make things a little vague now. There are several activities I was scheduled to do but now can’t, but this situation now is not easy for everyone, and there are many people who are working very hard. There are still more to be done in several aspects, album-wise, but you can look forward to it as it will be different from the previous solo. 

Did you have any desire or goal when you were working on your first solo album <City Lights>, which was released in summer? Since a long time ago, I’ve been wanting to do songs with city pop vibes. Also, it is meaningful to have the album comprised of just my voice. I hoped for people to hear the album and at least think, ‘So this is the kind of voice Baekhyun has.’ I’m glad it received such a good outcome.

What do you mean by ‘good outcome’? I got a lot of positive feedback. There were people who recognised the effort I put into the voice and vibe I wanted to express. The album sales were also good thanks to my fans. 

What kind of voice did you want to express? Something that’s a little dreamy (laughs), and I guess I wanted there to be sexy vibes even with just my voice?

I was a little dubious when I first heard that the title track was called ‘UN Village,’ because it’s the more luxurious version of ‘Samsung Raemian’ (laughs). However, after listening to it, it seems like ‘luxurious’ was the keyword that was the main theme of the entire album. Even on stage, your performance is relaxed and doesn’t require much of an angle (as in a certain kind of look/style/theme), it looks like you wanted to portray that sort of laidback appeal.  Oh, that’s very accurate. Because EXO has themes and we do powerful performances, I wanted my solo to be different. I wanted to pull out something I think of as my weapon, something that is relaxed rather than strong, and more focused on my voice itself.

It’s rather difficult to be relaxed if you don’t do a lot of preparation. Between what you do best and what you like best, which of the two do you think is closer to the composition of your first album? At first I matched the make up of the album to what I like, but I think it slowly became what I do best as I practised and did my studies. I’m always like that. I always do what I like instead of what I do best. There is almost nothing you are good at from the start. It starts of as ‘This is so hard, but I like it’ and at some point when I get familiar with it and master it, it feels really exhilarating.  

This is sudden but it’s always fascinating to me when I see singers like you that start off with the position as a vocal, and become a dancer that does dynamic performances on stage. Could it be because SM is originally known for it's unrivalled training system, or is it because that person actually has dance DNA but simply never had the opportunity to draw it out? From the aspect of whether one knows how to use their body and muscles, it looks like I have the influence of the DNA. From moving your chest to doing several other movements. For example, there are people who find it hard to do detailed movements like ‘lift your right shoulder, and then pop your chest, bring down your right shoulder and lift your left shoulder.’ On top of that, SM’s environment, which has many people that started off as choreographers and have a command of high quality dancing in nature, also contributed to my progress. Looking around at my surroundings, I followed suit so my abilities got better, and there were many things I could learn and many things I was motivated by. 

Soon it will be the 8th anniversary since EXO debuted so shall we talk about the time that started history? How did you feel at the start when you had to digest and do difficult dance moves even though you were a vocalist? I just had this desire. ‘I don’t want to remembered as the person who can’t dance.’ Thankfully, the members taught me and Chen, who entered the group late, until the wee hours of the morning. Kai took care of Chen, and Sehun took care of me. All the while competing who taught better, and who mastered the dance better. I improved a lot during the time we practised together. 

Looking back, after debuting, was there a critical period where you felt like you were growing too fast? Around summer 2016 ‘Monster,’ my performance skills definitely improved. Choreographer Shim Jaewon hyung actually included a solo performance for me at the start of the song. There wasn’t supposed to have a solo performance but he said, ‘Baekhyun, you have a talent in dance too, you just have to work a little bit harder, let’s start building up your confidence now,’ and he choreographed a solo performance and encouraged me. From then on, I thought, ‘So I’m not someone who can’t dance,’ and I gained confidence in expressing myself through my body while doing my best for that solo performance. What I never knew, or what I suppressed, up to that point, I then started to express naturally.

Oh, that was around the time the special cover edition ‘EXOclusive’ you did with <W Korea> was produced! Was there a period where you were in a slump, music-wise?  At the start of EXO’s activities, when we’re going from ‘MAMA’ to ‘Wolf.’ I achieved the reality of debuting and suddenly received a lot of attention, so the kid that was full of confidence became scared of singing. I doubted myself, that my singing might be weird. It was around then that my interest in vocalisation peaked, and I studied a lot. As I did that, my fears disappeared little by little and I started to anticipate how my voice would sound like when I sing live. I put in a lot of effort in ways like thinking if I should do it a certain way this time so it could sound different, and if I like the sound of my tone in a certain song, I could apply a part of it to another song. 

Then before EXO, when did you first vaguely feel that you had something similar to a talent?  The first time I ever went to a karaoke. Might have been grade 6 of elementary school.

What song did you sing? It was Yarn’s song. What was the song called... Can I quickly search it up?

Yarn’s songs are one of the tests for high-pitched power, and have made many guys fail miserably in karaokes.  Exactly. Yarn’s ‘Run.’ Weirdly, I sang the song comfortably as how I heard it, and my friends’ reactions were huge. Ever since then, I thought ‘Oh? I didn’t even learn how to sing yet everyone says I’m good? This must be my greatest strength!’ and I started to like singing. 

Your audience then reacted to your mic and your acoustics, which made that the moment you became a celebrity. So that’s how the history of ‘Bucheon Prince’ came about (laughs).  My friends wouldn’t sing songs that are high in pitch. So I thought, ‘Huh? Why?’ I was still young then so I didn’t even know what a vibrato was, I just thought that the note was “vibrating.” When I hear that the end of the note doesn’t vibrate, I would think, ‘Why don’t they do the vibration thing? Isn’t it kind of flat?’ It was a time when I was young and ‘snobby’ (laughs). 

If you were to introduce a distinct characteristic of your vocals, how would you say it? Um. Smooth yet at the same time robust.

You possess everything good...  Hehe, I don’t have an entirely beautiful voice but I have a kind of baritone voice that is saturated with tenderness. So it is an advantage that I don’t have to limit myself to one genre and can challenge myself extensively. 

Still, is there anyone’s vocals that you wish to have? Kim Bumsoo sunbae. Recently I am realigning my vocals. From my breathing to my vocalisation, I am remodelling everything. So I think about vocals a lot, but when I hear Kim Bumsoo sunbae’s songs, I feel that he has quite the stability. I think of stability as a power that allows the audience to listen comfortably and enjoy the song, and to people who sing, as players of the game themselves, would either want to show off or have the freedom to express a bar of the song any way they want. He has amazing stability, and he has a great voice, and he possesses several different tones. There are many things to look up to him to. 

Instead of changing just one vocal aspect, you’re changing your style from the basics. It’s going to be a tough process. It’s not easy. I’ve been learning from my current vocal teacher for about a year now, but luckily, he’s like a saviour to me. Singer Im Hanbyul hyung introduced him to me. He not only teaches me vocal skills, but also helps me to find peace mentally. He’s like a doctor that does a full check-up on whatever I am uneasy about. He’s really grown up. [A/N: there’s no pronoun for Baekhyun’s vocal teacher but I used a standard pronoun for ease of reading]

Do you have any aspirations as a member of SuperM? We began our activities last fall and we were the first of Asia Artistes to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart with our debut album. I’ve said ‘We will show you another kind of K-Pop’ in an interview in The States before, but there is another meaning behind the face value of what I said. No matter how I look at it, isn’t now the era to turn the impossible possible? It’s the same for SuperM. The fact that members of different groups have come together to form another group is entirely a whole new system. We were the pioneers to give it a shot, and that in itself is a step that creates synergy. With this in mind, I have the desire to make K-Pop widely known. 

In the 2000′s, K-Pop started to gain popularity when SMTOWN was having their world tour, and in the recent years, K-Pop has once again taken another leap. Have you ever felt that it’s true while you were on tour?  Of course. When we do interviews overseas, journalists would say things like, ‘If we were to define K-Pop, we can’t forget about the perfectly synced dance choreography, right?’ The style of group dance choreography, which has been around since long ago, is what shaped K-pop and I think of it as K-Pop’s important trait. When they know and point out that aspect, I feel proud and grateful. 

SuperM brings EXO’s Baekhyun and Kai, SHINEE’s Taemin, NCT’s Taeyong and Mark, WayV’s Lucas and Ten together in a team. How is it like when you’re all together? They’re all really, honestly, very nice and innocent kids. They transform on stage but when I see how they’re like together off stage, I wonder how they could be that innocent. I want you guys to know that side of the boys before showing you our music and performance.

Are they like innocent boys behind the cool and handsome men that glare when they sing ‘We will burn on this stage’ during the performance? These guys also possess everything good...  Superheroes normally conceal their own identity and show a mild appearance but when nighttime comes, they apprehend bad guys. Ever since I was young, I’ve always thought that somehow that was what true justice was (laughs). I feel like if the duality of how the boys are like daily and how they are like when they concentrate on stage was known, all the members are able to shine more brightly. 

In today’s photoshoot, you went from bright and impeccable Baekhyun to Baekhyun with a dark charisma. And Cartier’s jewelry shone just like EXO Baekhyun, who symbolises ‘light’ (laughs). If you were to have dual personalities, what would it be?  Though I am mostly nice and well-mannered, I am the type to be straightforward and be firm when I think ‘This isn’t right.’ Even when people who think ‘this person belongs to me,’ when they treat them badly, my firmness will appear. When that happens, I will step in and say something. 

Listening to your stories, you seem like a person who is motivated by yourself.  That’s right. I always find faults in myself. Whether it is on stage or my treatment towards other people, I frequently think about whether I had any drawbacks. I always think about questions like ‘Why do I keep doing the wrong move these days,’ or ‘Am I not focusing, or am I lacking practice for that part?’

What is something you need in order to continue and live a long life as an artist that has debuted in an idol group? First of all, I think the answer to that is finding out what you really want to do. Because if you don’t go through that process and simply follow the trend or what other people want, it’ll be easy for you to be left behind as an artist. If you look at idols who have been in the industry for a long time, their own colour is very clear no matter what. I could also soon become Baekhyun version 2. A life where I find out whether I can succeed with just my voice.

Would you have a (however) big ambition inside of you?  Ambition, I definitely have it. There’s a saying, ‘In for a penny, in for a pound’ (laughs). However, I’m not the kind that is full of fighting spirit and think I have to achieve a certain goal. I do not want my huge desire for success to eat me up. To me, doing things happily while laughing is most important to me. That level of ambition would be more like ‘I hope they recognise my hard work’ I guess? When you work hard on something, it will still shine no matter what, and no matter how bright. And I want to show off what I am good at anyway so, hehe.

Translation by 103oclock (Source)

[romanceboys]

(interview) vogue korea april issue 2020 - perfect taemin

1. superm was another chance for taemin’s ever-evolving performance to be showcased. i thought a lot about how to create synergy with these exceptional performers. to put it simply, i wanted us to come off as energetic. but these days i’ve had a change of heart. our identity is definitely important. rather than just working hard, for superm to show off their colours well we need to show our personalities; we should be seen as one team. to be able to formulate a solid and clear colour is our homework. that’s why it’s regrettable. we couldn’t come up with a novel choreography to carry our new identity. we tried a lot in the practice room. superm seems to have found its musical identity but hasn’t gotten a hold of its performance character yet. the stages are too vague. 2. now that you are finally promoting with your best friend kai in one group, you two must’ve shared your concerns. since this friend is someone who has a lot of passion and ambition, he talks about various things. for instance, this style is pretty good, this choreography is quite trendy. thanks to him i’ve learned a lot. he is also very knowledgeable about the latest ‘hottest’ genres. we talk about these things often and even watch videos together. kai gives off ‘popular’ vibes. compared to him, my interests are quite unusual. nowadays kai is interested in music while i am into science. 3. is it science fiction? these days we’ve been watching videos on the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics together. 4. what aspect of it interested you? originally i was very curious, after seeing a recommended video on youtube i learned about quantum mechanics for the first time. i couldn’t understand the explanation, even those who were explaining it said it was a difficult concept. that was very fascinating to me. kind of like magic.  5. are you reading books on the subject too? the subjects of the books i read are different (laughs). there’s a book that was published long ago called ‘regarding the pain of others.’ it is a pessimistic book that gathers contradictory opinions of people for instance ‘people find joy in the pain of others, it is instinctual.’ as a celebrity, there are times when you are criticized but there are also times when you receive comfort from people. rather than blaming others, while reading this book, i began to think ‘people are like that, at most i shouldn’t behave like them.’ my interests are all over the place. 6. what makes you and kai click? we converse well. our opinions almost never clash and we respect each other. moreover, we fully understand our own roles in superm. 7. what position do you hold in superm? since i can’t ask if it’s the main dancer. in pictures and interviews, i’m the center. baekhyun hyung is the leader (laughs). 8. when the conversation wasn’t flowing well during the talkshow interview, i saw you neatly concluding it.  that does happen. nct and wayv are still in the learning phase. that’s why i first listen to all of their thoughts during interviews then flesh it out with details later. 9. compared to when you set out abroad as shinee then promoting overseas as superm now, the status of k-pop has changed. looking at how superm was able to start off with an arena tour in the us and europe made me feel that k-pop is a ‘hot’ topic. in the past, we’d use venues of this scale for smtown concerts. even if you promote mainly in asia, seeing the audience section will make you realise the perception of k-pop has changed. 10. though k-pop’s scope has expanded and diversified, its definition has become simple. what are your concerns? my first concern is language. after i was able to communicate via language during my japanese activities, there were so many advantages. though each country overseas has its own language, i felt that i needed to learn english first. there are many international fans who want to experience the chemistry between our members, they’d feel much closer to us if we communicated using (a common) language. k-pop isn’t one dimensional. it’s not only about the music, there is music video, style, etc. included. people would make dance covers in the past, now they even emulate the styling. all of this is korean pop culture. 11. superm were on the ellen degeneres show and jimmy kimmel live. before we went on the ellen show we really rehearsed the interview a lot. america’s atmosphere is different so you receive questions that are never asked in korea. they don’t disclose the questions in advance either. we were also worried because the emcee could ad-lib. we came up with the most probable questions and practiced, we also received lessons from american comedians. compared to that, we went on jimmy kimmel live without any prep. 12. what went according to plan and what didn’t? the questions were not as intense as expected, ellen was well aware about k-pop culture so it went smoothly. 13. is there a dance genre you’re into these days? contemporary, lyrical hiphop, in the future as superm i think i’ll be able to show more, not the kind of dancing that you do after learning a given choreography but the kind that is full of emotions. it’s about giving meaning to your gestures. it isn’t out yet but my concert vcr features lyrical hiphop. in it i think i’m dancing alone with a giant full moon as my backdrop but get confused when there are two of us, either it’s another person or a shadow. a choreographer with a body type similar to mine had to dress in all black to come across as my shadow. i wore an oriental outfit with smokey makeup. 14. how do you usually come up with your ideas? i get inspired by the choreographers and creative directors. i imagine it as we converse then the idea develops. 15. was there a time you were inspired by fashion? of course. art begins with the five senses. what you see with your eyes, the things you can feel, clothes, food, perfume, music that you listen to are all sources of inspiration. i create private accounts to follow fashion brands. 16. having debuted at the age of 16, you are still young but your work experience has been long. i was in certain situations because of this. it doesn’t happen as often now but even in my early 20s, i completely belonged to the senior category at broadcasting stations. they are my juniors but many of them are also hyungs, i’m their senior but i’m also the youngest. now there are even staff members who are younger than me. they’re too formal with me (laughs). 17. are there juniors that ask you for advice or help? the superm members! especially ten, he is very curious. when we come out of a company meeting, he’ll get surprised and say “wow, hyung everything you said was right.” i even hear things like ‘veteran’ and ‘seer.’ apparently my predictions come true. but i try not to advise them as much. taking the initiative to say something feels overwhelming. 18. born in 1993 between millennials and gen z, do you share any characteristics with those in your age bracket? we’ve picked out a few of their traits. the first one is ‘they don’t eat fast food.’ me too! i took care of my health well ever since i started out with shinee. i was brainwashed from home to avoid foods that harmed the body. not even ramyeon, snacks were also banned. and just like that in my 20s i started carrying out the regime on my own. it’s become a habit to look after my health ever since i moved out. i always eat things that are good for my body, if the hyungs are taking vitamins, i’d ask for one too. 19. i suddenly recall a variety show where you were the only one who skipped the sauce and ate the meat on its own! one should not eat irritable foods. my mother’s words. 20. how about ‘they watch videos on youtube rather than tv. even the ads don’t particularly bother them.’ that’s right. i watch youtube more often than tv, while watching the ads i'd even marvel at their production quality. i’ve signed up for the premium package now so i don’t see the ads anymore. 21. ‘marrying or wanting to buy their own house.’ i currently live alone and i have no interest in decking out my house. at first, i didn’t think like that but a month later my interest dissipated. i’m lazy. it’s not like my house is for others to see, i’m fine with the incomplete feeling for now. 22. and finally ‘they avoid investing in financial companies.’ i don’t do that. my parents manage that, if there’s a good tip i’ll just let them know.  23. hiphop musicians tend to express their success through music. as an idol musician how have you been using the wealth you accumulated all these years? i invest in food instead of saving up (laughs). honestly, i don’t spend much. i don’t have anything i want. though i do spend on others a lot. 24. what kind of household did you grow up in? what gifts did you inherit from your family as a musician? i inherited my body type. all of my cousins have model-like physiques, they’re taller and slimmer than me. my mother sings well. my father plays instruments as a hobby. oh, and my paternal aunt used to be a ballerina. so perhaps i inherited such genes? 25. you’ve been doing the same thing for more than 10 years. what is the purpose behind creating music and showcasing it? in the past, i would think i should do well, i need to be number one, these days i’ve become ambitious for other aspects. i take pride in the fact that my work supplies others with positive energy. i feel a sense of accomplishment when fans like my music, i want to make them as happy as i am. everyone’s profession is different but i hope this synergy gained from mutual dependence leaves a good impression. 26. are you still composing songs? i used to but now i only participate in lyric writing. it differs with each song, at times the lyrics are emotional or talk about abstract love. it seems like my next solo album will include a song i wrote the lyrics to. sometimes songs composed by overseas composers might prove too difficult for the general public to understand. so i participate a lot in the arrangement or mixing phase. i point out the parts that should be added to the composition and those that are unneeded. teacher lee soo man does give advice but it often feels like i do the producing of my own solo album. 27. taemin’s originality is the clearest when he promotes as a solo artist. which song has best represented your identity? i worked hard on all of them but there was a turning point. at first there was ‘danger’ then ‘press your number’ was a conceptual performance, the transition to ‘move’ turned out well. i wanted to break out from the typical choreography routine and create my own identity, the resulting performances were ‘move’ and ‘want.’ my next solo album is again different. i’ve been making a lot of changes these days. 28. you seem to have high standards when it comes to composing music. was there ever an occasion where you absolutely refused to compromise and gave others a hard time? everyone is used to it (laughs). it’s something i learned from the head manager hyung who’s been with me since debut. the belief that ‘there is nothing that can’t be done. there is no such thing as impossible.’ another team manager hyung would tell me ‘you remind me of our head’ (laughs). honestly, the staff around me work beyond their given roles and with affection. normally work timings are from 9 to 7, they stay back till 10-11 pm for me. they don’t hold it against me, and when things do well, they too feel a sense of fulfillment together with me. 29. the new unreleased song must be quite different from the original then.  there are already 12 versions of the song. when i thought we were somewhat done, we recently started arranging it again (laughs). 30. you hold your body to specific standards for the best performance outcome. i don’t ‘bulk up.’ previously, i used to work out when i ate a lot but my body would feel weighed down, it wasn’t what i wanted. if i gain a lot of muscles or become thick, it hampers my dancing form. that’s why i don’t put on weight. i train my stamina and strength and avoid bulking up my shoulders and arms. 31. by the way, do you do neck exercises as well? i was touched looking at your long neck in the vogue photoshoot. i had been noticing this too, now i know the reason! i think it’s because i dance. a lot of resistance goes into the neck when you dance. our head is the heaviest and it’s the neck that supports it. it goes away when i rest for a few days. we’re shooting amidst the superm tour maybe that’s why it looks thicker now.  32. an editor who has been watching you closely for a long time said that you’ve become extroverted. could it be that experience and relationships have made you comfortable and secure? i’ve lowered my guard. i couldn’t reveal my current self to others before. as a child i used to be so introverted that i’d hide behind my mother when strangers would get into the elevator. i changed with time.  33. is your ever-present smile a product of your personality or just business decorum? i’m always smiling. i even laugh at things other people don’t find funny (laughs). 34. shinee members are currently serving in the army. when they’re on break what kind of advice or nagging do they subject you to? i wish they would do that. we have a group chat on kakaotalk and i always revive it by asking “what’s up” “happy new year.” but as soon as the conversation picks up they only talk about the army. when i inform them about an issue at the company they say “really?” then it’s military talk again. when i feel left out and tell them to stop, they reply with “you’ll understand when you get here.” 35. in your career as a musician, when do you feel the best? when it’s time to reveal all that i’ve been preparing for so long! it feels different from finishing it. the first stage after debuting, shinee’s first concert, performing at tokyo dome, receiving the award... these are the moments that come to mind. 36. watching taemin grow for the past decade has been a huge source of strength. what are your dreams now? there are many. first of all, once shinee comes back again, i want the entire group to give off a feeling of revival. usually after getting discharged, it’s hard to keep up with the next generation, i want to avoid that. i’ve imagined it all when the shinee members return. second, i want to perform a lot on various stages as a solo artist. superm topped the billboard 200 album chart, it’d be nice to enter the top 10 on the hot 100 digital chart as well.  37. you are really talented at setting goals. i’ve gotten greedier. it’s just not for myself but i want to do it for the fans and members, even the staff. they become my driving force. i really am lucky. everybody works hard but i even get the recognition for it. come to think of it, i was given many opportunities and i worked hard to make the most of them, i’m really happy my efforts paid off in the end. i’m surrounded by good people. shinee, superm, many people fill in the gaps for me that i can’t solve on my own. 38. superm’s concert title is ‘we are the future.’ when you hear the word ‘future’ what are you reminded of? first, it’s h.o.t. (laughs). future-oriented things come to mind like artificial intelligence, drones, 3d hologram concerts. then again, in the future, though people might be able to watch concerts through holograms, i think humans will not give up on the tasks they themselves can do. my work will still be the same in the future. 39. the reason you don’t write anything on instagram. i don’t have anything to say yet (laughs). i don’t know if i should make my instagram cool or approachable. when fretting between writing a caption or using an emoticon, i just end up leaving it blank. actually i signed up after my manager hyung suggested that instagram would be good. so i’ve made one but i still don’t know what to upload. i get teased by the people around me for putting up selfies. i even took lots of pictures especially for instagram but... 40. did you not post the pictures? the point of instagram is real-time communication. is that so! i didn’t know (laughs).

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] WayV’s interview with ELLE Korea May 2020 issue!

— Kun

A suffering leader, everyone's Kun —  With a meticulous personality. The pros and cons would be: I think I am the leader thanks to my sense of responsibility and delicacy. [But] when there is too much to take care of, it is a bit cumbersome. There’s no member who gives me a hard time because they all pick on me one by one (laughs). If I had to introduce my hometown, Fujian Province, it's a quiet city with clean air and few people. Many people come to visit because the mountains and the lakes are beautiful. When I think about nature, I start missing my hometown. At school, I was the head of the student council's entertainment department. I might look like a serious person since the members are so active and mischievous, but I'm also a fun person. Times when I feel like we’re one team are when you know what the others are thinking just by the look in their eyes and, when we dance and the movements are 'synchronised'. WayV to me is the comfort of being able to share everything with each other. All the members worry a lot about music so a lot of ideas come out every time we hear new music. It is certainly an advantage that all seven have a lot of desire. I have a bright young voice, but my desire as a vocalist is to have a thicker and more mature voice these days. Wouldn't it suit dance songs that match our [team's] style more than ballads. I graduated in Practical Music. If there is a song I want to arrange: I'm still trying to look for my style while listening to various songs. I want to challenge not only the arrangement but also the composition. I am a good cook. The dishes I recently made for the members are the dishes that I learned from the main chef of the company while I practiced them [on the members]. The menu with the biggest reaction recently was DongPo Pork. When I can't sleep, I deliberately watch low-rated movies and these days, I watch a four-hour-long landscape video shot from a train driver's perspective. It makes me fall asleep really fast (laughs). The most memorable stage after debuting was as expected, MAMA 2019. When I was giving the award speech, my hand that was holding the microphone was shaking and it was all captured [on camera]. What I want to say to myself in hard times is to be confident! The moment you lose your confidence, everything becomes more difficult. The mindset I don't want to lose is to be grateful. Everything I do right now is impossible to do by myself. This is the most important. To Winwin: who has known me the longest among the members! I hope you always take on challenges with courage because I will always be there beside you to support you. Also, all the members know that you are cute.  

— Lucas

Healthy energy, hot Lucas — Between a boy and a man, I feel closer to 100% boy! I don't think I feel mature enough. [Maybe I’m just like] a baby who wants to be a man (laughs). The most impressive man to me is a responsible person. And also, a man who gives everything to his loved ones. Having an attractive rapping sound because of a low and husky voice. My desire to sing is big! I want to sing a sad song. I've heard from people around me that a calm song suits my voice. Like the calm songs of Paul Kim I normally listen to too. My favorite song is "Take Off, The killing point is the dance break, with the powerful guitar riff. Emotion is what is the most important on stage. I believe each song has its own soul, and it is important to immerse yourself. My role in the team is positive energy. Although always looking bright, surprisingly, I have a lot of thoughts. Yesterday too, I had a lot of thoughts before going to bed, so it took me a while to fall asleep. Not long ago, Kun hyung played me a song he had composed and so many ideas came up so I wrote them down and sent it to him. WayV to me is a friendship that feels really deep even though it’s been only a year since I made a debut with the people I love so much. So much that when we come back from a schedule, as we laugh and talk together, the stress will suddenly be gone. The most important thing in a team is to have sincere conversations with each other to understand each other's differences. Only then can we get along well because of the wider understanding. Having appeared in a number of familiar variety shows like the Chinese version of <Running Man> <Let's Run Season 3> I like that I can go to various places the most. It's also a special opportunity to meet people with other jobs and not only artists. I think I'm often called/casted [for these shows] because of my sincere youthful reactions. The mindset I don't want to lose is the promise I made when I debuted to be a good influence on people. That's what I always keep in mind. I want to be a person who always gives positive influence to people, family, and fans around me. To Yangyang: who I know is really smart, you're still a cute little brother to me (laughs)

— Winwin A quiet presence, Winwin — In the reality show <Dream Plan>, mingling well with the elders in the village was impressive. Special trick behind it was thanking them for looking out for me! Since they were all kind natured, I guess treating them with sincerity looked good. When Lucas and I visited their home, we got served a meal and received a warm welcome. A performance video of Ten and I has been released. As a dancer, Ten is a member whose strength is being versatile. He helps the members at dance practices a lot. I’ve learned dancing in a special dance school. At the time I was the shortest and least talkative kid until I grew taller in high school. I’ve spent most of the time practicing alone. Chinese dance is similar to modern dance mixed with ballet. Learning the choreography is fast and it’s an advantage to be skillful in tumbling. I would like to properly showcase a modern dance at a concert someday. When I’m on the stage what I care about the most is my gestures and facial expression. During ‘Take Off’ promotions, the gestures and facial expressions I did during my part varied from stage to stage. I hear that I’m ‘pure’ a lot. A new charm that I want to have: our fans call me ‘Baby Chick’. I want to showcase more of an ‘eagle’ image, so I cut my hair short. Isn’t it similar to Park Saeroy (laugh). Something that makes me angry, although I normally have a good temper is being unsatisfied with stage performance to the point I can’t sleep on that day. But it’s okay to just take a nap. I just need to do better. The most memorable moment in WayV promotions was receiving the Best New Asian Artist Award at the MAMAs, it was the first time we’ve gotten an award together so I was very happy. The reason why I went to Beijing on my own as a middle school student seems to be fate. I passed my exams without much determination, left my hometown and went to school in Beijing where I was noticed and then debuted. Coincidence became fate. To me WayV is a path that we’re talking together, a team with a lot of growth potential. I’d like it if the younger members came to me whenever they need someone. I feel our fans love and support the most when: I’m always amazed and grateful for our fans hearts. All of the people who always look out for us even when we’re not promoting any albums and who support us are an immense source of strength. Success to me is when more people get to know us and we get to perform in many different countries. I want to think about my personal success after my team’s success. To Kun: when members want advice, we reach out to Kun first before our families. He knows a lot, can do a lot, and is a person we can depend on.  

 — Ten

Ten who is curious about what's next rather than what’s now — The secret to adapting well everywhere is attending an international school. I had friends of various nationalities and I also traveled a lot. Wherever I went, I went to see the common [places] first. Learning an unfamiliar culture is fun. I’m learning Thai, English, Korean, Japanese and now working hard at learning Chinese. I memorize expressions that I can use while watching Chinese variety shows and dramas. Although it's still difficult to read the buzzwords and hanja. The most important thing as a performer, and what makes you an outstanding dancer, is to have your own style while not being trapped by masculinity and femininity. I am different now from a few years ago and I'm trying to challenge myself by being flexible in various aspects. What I've learned since debut is, in the case of WayV, that when you work with various genres the main concern is the vocal style and with SuperM, I learned about the importance of performance through the activities [we did]. 'It's important to dance well, but you must also have your own [style]', 'think about what you want to express in front of the camera, but you must be faithful to your feelings on every stage in order to develop [yourself]' is the advice I received from the Hyungs (Baekhyun, Kai, Taemin). For the dance video that I did together with Winwin, the concept, music, settings, and outfits were all decided by us together without the company's advice. I came to realize the difficulties of being a staff member (laughs). I can [now] see the wider picture and more details. I like poetry too. I think poetry expresses emotions. It helps me  understand the world and the society as a person and not as an artist. The lyrics of my 2nd solo song 'New Heroes' feel like an autobiography. If 'Dream in a Dream' was all about the performance then 'New Heroes' is a song about the time spent committing [to something] and I thought anyone can sympathize with that. The [original] lyrics were so great that I asked them not to change it and to just go with it. I want to write lyrics myself someday. The kind of person I want to be is [someone who] always tries to go with the flow as I think that making plans and setting expectations can make it more difficult on yourself. I hope I could be a person who can leave a good impact on others. WayV to me is just like a family who always does everything together and takes care of each other asking ‘have you already eaten?’. Everyone has an open mind to try and accept new challenges. During the 'Moonwalk' promotion period, I was kinda surprised how well we got along. Having received recognition for my skills since debut. The times when the expectations are high are: Art and languages too are ever-evolving disciplines, so it's not easy to keep up. Nevertheless, there are self-expectations and anticipations to show a new side of myself. I will work hard (laughs). I still play Pokemon Go and I'm waiting for the June update. I will catch a lot of new Pokemon again! To Xiaojun: with whom I saw Harry Potter together yesterday! Let's make an appearance in Harry Potter when there is a reboot.

— Hendery

Flexible midfielder, Hendery — Something I’ve gotten into recently is practicing playing drums. Kun hyung is cooking a lot lately so I’ve been reviewing the food too. The other day he made kimchi jjigae so good that it even got an approval from manager hyung. My favourite track is ‘Take Off’. We filmed the music video in Ukraine and spent loads of happy times together, so I feel happier whenever I listen to it. Something I’ve improved on since debut is that recording songs takes less time. When I hear a member of staff say ‘Is this really Hendery’s voice?’ I feel proud of myself. The charm of my vocal is: I’m still looking for it, but I feel like my rap sounds nice when I spice it up with a little melody. Good at giving advice to our members. A tip to giving good advice is: it’s important to have helping and not making decisions in mind. Talk about both bad and good points about the A and B. The secret to always looking like I’m at peace is my parents always telling me ‘Your happiness is the most important. You always have a home to come back to, so work as much as you can enjoy’, thanks to them I grew up as someone with little stress or worries. Mindset that I don’t want to lose is the excitement before going on stage. I think the most important thing for an artist is their greed for performing. When I get on stage the most important is interacting with fans. The most memorable stage was our Korean debut on <Show! Champion>. I couldn’t believe we’re performing Chinese songs in Korea. I was so overwhelmed to see our fans welcoming us so enthusiastically even though they didn’t understand what we were saying. I opened an instagram account recently. My posting plan is ‘This is where I am‘ ‘I am filming today’. I want to showcase my daily self. I hope our fans can smile for a brief moment when they see the pics I had the most fun taking. To me WayV is: I feel empty when I go away to see my family for a little. Every time that happens I facetime them to relieve the sadness. Lucas is the member who picks up the most (laugh). To Lucas: No matter how busy we get, even if we become grandpas, I’ll always be by your side. It’s something I want to say to all of the members, but Lucas is a friend I'm especially attached to so I really wanted to say this. 

— Yangyang

Infinite potential, bold maknae Yangyang — I speak Chinese, German, English Korean and Spanish. Great language skills are useful when you travel. Whenever I talk with friends of various nationalities, I think it's fortunate that I can speak many languages. In our team alone, it's full [with people who speak] Chinese, Thai, English, and Korean (laughs). My role in the team is being the happy virus! Although of course, the hyungs think I'm a maknae that requires a lot of energy from them. WayV to me is a high tension team that can deliver strong and positive energy. If someone shows a slight sign of exhaustion, we immediately stick together and somehow infect each other with energy. I think that such energy is conveyed to fans on stage. If I have learned anything from living together with the members [it would be] the habit I have developed to control my greed and to care for others. I'm used to looking at the other's feelings now before doing something. My favorite song is ‘King of Hearts’, because I participated in writing the lyrics. I also love 'Love Talk' from the 2nd mini album. It is a charming song that is sweet and sexy but has a way to make your body move. My ambition as a rapper is the flow. Because I think this is the aspect that determines the impression of a song from the listener's point of view. I want to be a multi-talented person who is good at not only rapping but also dancing, singing, and writing lyrics. I've always had a lot of ambition. The attractive part of writing lyrics is that I can tell my story, since from a long time ago, I wrote lyrics little by little and it's always fun work. I want to steadily keep doing it. I like Virgil Ablo and Demna Gvasalia, and the fashion icon who caught my eye these days is Mike Amirie. I am drawn to people who have a simple yet clear style. The same goes for musicians. I like people who have a clear style like Travis Scott and A$AP Rocky. I’ve said 'I like who I am' before. Instances when I am especially like myself is when I'm confident. When I have confidence and want to show off, I can show much more than my actual skills. I use SNS to check on NBA and fashion news. I see the news on sneakers I'm looking forward to fast. Surprisingly, I don't look up anything about me [but] when a stage or performance is over I do look up the reactions. Most of them are good, so every time I read, I get energized. To Hendery: hyung, you seem to really get into gaming, but don't try too hard (laughs). 

— Xiaojun

Warm voice, Xiaojun — Something I’m into these days is practicing the songs that will be included in the next album that we are preparing for. Before debuting, I only sang my favorite ballad song, but nowadays, I want to sing songs of other genres such as R&B. I've been uploading videos of me singing on my personal Instagram. My favorite song is ‘Face to Face’. My heart warms up every time I hear it. I really like the lyrics ‘You won’t be lonely because I’ll be your strength, I won’t let you cope with your wounds alone in silence’. The keywords that describe me are kind. Friendly. Positive. I often say ‘I wish my songs were healing different people’. The way I heal myself is: my heart calms down when I look at pictures with many memories sealed in them. I take a lot of pictures of the scenery and especially when I look at the pictures of my hometown in Guangdong I feel healed. The reason behind my strong sensitivity is the big influence of my dad who’s a singer and my older brother. Ever since I was little we would often watch movies together. I graduated with a musical major. My greed for musicals is: I’ll surely do it again later. I like starring in musicals but one day I’d like to make my own. A musical piece I’d like to recommend is <Dear Evan Hansen> who won at Tony Awards and Grammys. It’s a warm story about a lonely high school boy suffering from social anxiety disorder, who is working on his trauma and healing from the pain. My way of dealing with stress is quiet time on my own. Just like positive energy, negative energy is easily spread to others, so I’d rather be alone. A memory I really want to make is a trip, I promised to go on before debuting, with the members. The destination is still undecided. The kind of team member I want to be is a silent supporter. It would be nice if I can be 'my people/dearest' to others. Something I want to do this year is to have an event for the fans. I like to surprise friends or throw surprise birthday parties. I think fans will love it if we would do a guerilla performance. I told you here so I have to throw [that idea] away and I will prepare something else (laughs). To Ten: You are one of the 'Hyung-line', and you Korean is the best so there are many times you have to lead us. Don't carry everything on your own and sometimes lean on us! The same goes for Kun hyung.

t/n: Due to the structure of this interview there might be inaccuracies as many things only made sense in Korean but sounded kinda awkward in English (more so compared to other translations we did). We tried our best to convey what they meant, but please keep this in mind when reading this interview.

Translation: Alex, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: ELLE Korea Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[littlecafe]

21, 22, 23, 24

hiii thanks for asking ~

ur ask made me realize that op skipped number 22 while numbering the post lol so i just answered for the other 3

21. what are your top five songs of the year?

5 for the whole year is so little omg but these are some good ones i love a lot!! listed in no particular order (i simply overthink too much to have "correct" ordering)

daydreamer - john park

hush - the marias

bloody future - kilo kish

algtr - lexie liu

dazed & confused - glen check

23. what are your top five albums of the year?

i feel like i've never been a full album type of person tbh so i had to really think for this asjhkdskf (these will be spotify links)

gone gold - lexie liu

bad love - key

kitak ep.01 - kitak

don't call me - shinee

orbital - luamel

also kai's peaches album! i don't like it as much as his first album but it's still good and bc it's new i'm listening to it a lot atm so i thought i'd mention

24. what are your top five artists of the year?

lexie liu (the only thing ordered right is that she's my number one artist for sure but i think you can tell lol)

demian

tinashe

key

nerd connection

ahhh i actually listened to a lot of artists this year so it's hard to pick but i think i made a pretty good list??? maybe i could switch nerd connection out for britney spears or just make it top 6 i'd be satisfied with that

EDIT: WAIT NO forestella too...but they’re mainly a cover group but they were a very important part of my year

come ask me something from here !

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Thought about something cute like reader and 5sos singing on the same festival and she’s dating cal 😭 and they switch with her guitarist and drummer boy and at first she didn’t notice but they they start to have so much fun together at the stage dancing together and doing stupid shit them following her around as she tries to prevent herself from giggling too much and actually singing 🥺🥺 and later she walks down when 5sos are performing with crystal Kay and Sierra omg 😳

+ I’m sorry I’m annoying but part two to my last asks!! I just imagine calum being all heart eyes for her minding his own business tho playing his guitar but every time he doesn’t have to use vocals or his bass he caught her hand or keep her close and ahh singing wildflower to her!!’ When at first the girls just wanted to have fun on stage with them but Calum just keeps her close the whole time singing to her and her singing back with him and being all funny and giggly together ooof

Thanks for your suggestion! It took me a minute to get to it. I did combine it with a few other suggestions. One person asked for drama and someone asked for angst. And viola! Here it is.

This is the last part of the Distance series! I’ll do an epilogue if folks want to send in some suggestions for it! HUGE thanks to everyone that sent me ideas! This series wouldn’t be what is it without you guys! 

Find the Distance series masterlist here!  Here’s my main masterlist! CW: 18+ (Smut). Angst. Lots of Fluff. 

Songs I played: Woman and From The Dining Table by Harry Styles!

Here it is at a WHOOPINg 9.6k. Enjoy!

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The release of her album is followed by a tour. At first, she’s excited. Her mind runs wild with possibilities. Her fingers can’t keep up fast enough with every wonder and question she sends to Calum and thankfully, he doesn’t seem to mind the incessant buzzing. He takes each question in stride. It’s nice, in a way, for him to have the wisdom to give her. Like she doesn’t have to go in blind like he did, especially since it’s just her. He hopes he can make her feel a little less alone on the road. It can be a hard road to travel alone.

 The glimmer starts to wear off fast. Rehearsals turn her into a zombie. She’s up fairly early stretching, taking her dog for a walk, trying to remind herself that everything’s going to fall into place like it needs to, but the second she walks into the rehearsal space it feels like everything is going to fall apart. That somehow everything she’s ever wanted on tour is just too much, too much out of the budget, too much because she doesn’t have the weight to her name just yet. And maybe it’s a lot of glitz and glamour. Maybe she is asking for too much. Maybe that would be her downfall. 

Her phone buzzes. And she pauses, sitting on the floor with her mic in hand, and glances over to it. It’s Calum again. Another message that she won’t actually read until some ungodly hour in the night. He’s got to be up to his throat in worry. She can’t seem to think enough to text him back during the day. Too much is going on. She feels like she’s going to sink, just through the carpeted floor and through the concrete foundation and bury herself into the dirt. Maybe that would be a better fate for her. 

She turns her attention back to her notebook, with the crude drawing she made when she was trying to set the stage. “Let’s just,” she sighs. “Let’s start from scratch.”

And it works. Though it’s long and arduous, she’s able to figure out how to set the stage, finalizing the neon design. There’s a rough draft at the video that will be playing behind her for a wardrobe change. By the time she’s able to crawl into her sheets, it’s nearly 1 am. There’s barely enough energy to keep her eyes open to send Calum an apology text. When she wakes, she grins at her dog waiting patiently at the side of her bed.  “Ready to go, bubs?”

They give a tiny whine and rest their snout on the covers. She laughs, “Yeah, you’re ready to go.” She manages to brush her teeth and slips into a change of clothes before going out for a run. 

Between showering and getting dressed, she checks her messages. Happy to hear that you got things straightened, baby. Reach out whenever you get a breather, reads the text from Calum. 

She responds with a good morning text and then switches over to her email. At the top is an email with ‘urgent’ in the subject. She’s praying it’s not more bad news. She doesn’t quite have the heart to withstand more bad news after the progress they made yesterday. It’s details about a festival date in LA. That perfectly lines between her break between the European leg of the tour and the North America dates. She doesn’t even think twice about agreeing to the festival show. 

Right as her day winds down, from a shockingly smooth day of rehearsals, Calum calls her. And though she’s drenched in sweat from the light choreography and running it for hours, she stops and answers. “Hey, baby.”

“Oh, she lives!”

“I know, I know. Sorry.”

“Only kidding. I know you’re hard at work. It’s just really good to hear your voice. How are rehearsals?”

“Really good now. Once we got over the hump, it’s like smooth sailing.”

“Good, I’m glad. I was calling. We got word a couple days ago about a festival show right when you’re on break between legs. And I was hoping you had some free time, just to hang out.”

She can’t contain the smile, leaning her head against the window. The evening twilight has already settled outside. “I’m joining that festival too. And we’ll be hanging out in LA for a few days for rehearsals and then shipping out. So absolutely, we can hang out. I miss your face. And Duke. God, I miss Duke.”

He laughs. Of course she emphasizes her longing for his dog over him. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. “I really can’t wait to see you.” It falls from his lips in a whisper, a secret between the two of them that no one else can be in on. But the boys see it. Everytime his phone buzzes he does his best to look at it as soon as he can just in case it’s her. It’s harder to get out of bed, especially when he hasn’t talked to her in a while. “Can’t wait to kiss you again.”

“You’re a sap, you know.”

“But I’m your sap.”

She giggles, softly, watching cars whizz by. “Yeah, you are my sap.”

_________________________________

Her tour starts off well. And even though it’s her first time being out on the road like this, a constant bouncing around, and completely flipping her normal routine, she manages to cope pretty well. And it helps of course when she calls her friends, or talks to her dog. But it’s still definitely draining, pouring every bit of herself out on stage and then having just enough time to recoup before doing it all over again. There’s value in it, when the lights lift, and she can see the crowd that’s gathered just for her. It’s surreal and makes her feel like she could do this all the time. That the only thing she’d ever need is the sound of a crowd singing her songs back to her. 

In her dressing room, she swaps the gold earrings for a pair of acrylic ones, these jade green. “You’re too quiet on me,” she says, flicking her gaze down to her tablet. 

Calum picks his head up. “It’s hard to say much when perfection’s staring you in the face.”

She grins, hooking the earring back on. “Thank you, but that’s not what I meant.”

“We just got word about two more festivals in the same week you have your break. One’s in LA still, the other one’s a little ways out.” There’s no need to fake the funk anymore, or hide it away. She has another three weeks of shows before her break. And maybe he expects her to fly off the handle. Maybe he expects her to throw a fit, about how they had made plans, and it’s the only time they’ll get for each other for months. 

But she doesn’t. She nods, fingers twirling over her rings. “What are they others saying?”

“They’re itching to get back on stage. And from a business standpoint, it’s money in the pocket of course. But I know we made plans and I feel like an ass. But there’s also the band, too.”

“Our jobs aren’t easy,” she sighs. “Take the gigs.” Calum can see her eyes tearing up just a little. “Mind if tag along on the LA show?”

“Of course not. I’m really, really sorry, buttercup. I’m so sorry.”

She waves her hand, trying to keep the tears back. If they fall, they become real. It’s his job. Just like it’s hers. “I get it.” It’s tight as it leaves her throat. And it takes her a second, plus a few sips of water to get control of her emotions, and clear out all the tears that threaten to fall. He wishes he could say more, or do more. But it’s like the words die in his throat. And he’s left, mouth gaping, wishing and wanting, but unable to do anything. 

“Does it look bad if I just forgo my heels tonight from the start? They’re killing my feet on stage,” she laughs. 

It’s a small grin, upturns a corner of his mouth but doesn’t keep it up for long. “You usually end up kicking them off anyway, halfway through the show.”

“Someone’s been scrolling through my name on Twitter, huh?”

He does. Watching her is mesmerizing and he’s sad that he can’t get the chance to see it in person, so he resorts to the fan videos. But he’s yet to admit to it. “I do not do such a thing.” And there’s giggles. A fit of laughter as she looks over the outfits and plucks her oversize denim jacket and figures even in the shorts, she can make the docs Calum surprised her with work. So she slides into the worn red leather shoes and starts lacing them up. 

Calum whistles, heart racing just a little. He didn’t know those shoes had made the cut. “Look at you.” 

She strikes a pose but laughs. “Do I look good?”

“You look fucking amazing, buttercup.” 

__________________________

The sound of the crowd roaring before her ears turn on will always make her heart race. Calum said he would try to sneak side stage, but considering that he had to play on the mainstage right after her set on the side stage, it might not be for long. She didn’t mind that. But she hadn’t seen him. Not a blond crop in sight, of course if he hasn’t changed his hair since the last time. Her bassist strums the opening cord and it sends the crowd into a tizzy. With her guitar strapped around, she rolls out her neck, lining up. 

As they walk out onto the stage, they launch right into the first song. She feels her fingers buzzing as she strums. But it feels good. The LA sun is hot but she kind of welcomes it versus the heat of the stage lights. There’s still a small breeze. It comes in waves for sure and she can tell that her pits are going to be soaked by song three. “How’s everybody doing?” she shouts into the mic. 

There’s cheer in response and she laughs, hearing it reverb for just a moment. “That’s what I like to hear. Just want to say thank you for coming to see me play today. Your support truly means a lot to me.”

She continues on for just a few more seconds and right as she goes to introduce the fourth song of her set, everyone in the crowd starts to get rowdy. She thinks nothing of it, as the song starts. But she knows something is happening and she turns to check her drummer and in her spin, there’s Calum, her bassist’s bass slung over his shoulder, fingers sliding over the frets, plucking at the strings. Not that she doesn’t think Calum would go for a mint green bass on his own, but she hasn’t seen one in his collection just yet. 

If it weren’t for the verse coming back up, she knows she would just stare. Singing into her mic, she throws a few glances over to him. Waiting as the harmony comes in and Calum slides up to the music, voice smooth in her inner ears, she almost melts right there on the spot. She hadn’t quite thought about the way his voice would sound with hers, but god, he harmonizes like an angel. She finishes the verse, with a small break before the chorus again. The stage is kind of small but while facing the crowd, she can’t quite see to her sides. 

She knows though. She can almost sense when Calum approaches her. She giggles just a little into the mic, watching him smile at her. His head bobbing like it always does when he gets into whatever he’s playing or listening too. Calum plays next to her, watching the way the sweat trails down her forehead, but doesn’t streak an ounce of her makeup. He almost gives in, almost bends in to kiss her on the cheek, but he doesn’t. He lets her voice and the song carry him away, into his spin and up to the drummer’s stand. One foot on the riser, Calum bobs along, laughing at his expression, the raised eyebrow that says it all. 

She gets a small break to watch the way Calum interacts with her band. Almost as if he’s known them just as long as she has. And in some ways, he probably has. She talks about Calum to them and talks about her band to Calum all the time.  Once the song ends, Calum throws one hand in a tiny wave, before smiling over at her. “Didn’t scare you, did I?” he asks, away from the mic. 

She shakes her head, sure that her cheeks will hurt after this. Laughing, she thanks Calum as he walks off stage. And she knows, she knows she shouldn’t. But she jogs after him, as her bassist comes back on, sending a smile over her shoulder too. It’s in that moment that it becomes clear, this was planned. Catching Calum right in the wings, she catches his wrist, tugging him in close before kissing him. It’s quick, but Calum’s heart races in his chest. She runs back out. “Sorry about that guys. I did not expect that.” 

And as they get back to their set, Calum watches her for one more song, the way she dances around the stage. Their gazes lock just before he leaves and he blows a quick kiss, before his security are running him down the stage steps and across the festival grounds to get back to the mainstage in time. “How’d it go?” Michael asks.

“Well,” Calum grins, throwing his brown and black bass over his shoulder. 

“Get any smooches?” Luke teases, smacking his lips together, while his arm is slung over Sierra’s shoulder. 

“And if I did?” 

“On stage?” Michael screeches. 

“No, side stage. I almost kissed her on stage. But I didn’t want that all over the internet.” Considering that they aren’t official publically in any capacity, it would just cause more headache. Their set begins and Calum knows she has to run across the festival, so he’s not worried when by the time they step out and get three songs in, she hasn’t shown up at the side of the stage. And by the time, Calum regains consciousness enough to check again, there she is, standing off to the side, still in what she performed and breathing hard but she waves, gently from the side. 

Out of reflex, once the chords are played, he gives a small wave in return. She returns the blown kiss from earlier and the other girls laugh softly at the action. “God, you guys are so fucking smitten with each other, it’s insane,” Sierra jokes.

There’s no denying it she knows. They’re like lovesick puppies and though it would normally annoy her, it’s nice. Without another word, she sips at her bottle of water and watches Calum, with all the laughs and grins he gives, pouring his soul out onto the stage. 

And though the video calls, and the calls, work. They’re not quite enough. Her tour comes to an end, but just around the corner is Calum’s tour with the band. She think she might be able to sneak another week away before she starts working on her album, but then she gets asked to perform at some more festivals in her home country. And, who is she to turn that down? The more shows she plays, the more her name is out there, the more streams, and the merchandise is purchased. It becomes an endless wheel. Things just keep going, and going, and going and the whole time, she keeps looking for the breaks. For the thing that can put her life on pause and let her feel normal again. 

Everytime she thinks she can get real time with Calum, it ends up short. He has something that comes up. She has something that comes in. It was the festival in LA and now her festival run. It’s his tour and her sophomore album. Why had she met Calum when she did? Was the universe playing a cruel joke on her? Was it taunting her that it could give her everything she wanted and then threatening to have it crumble? Sitting her hotel room, her phone shakes, another call from Calum. She doesn’t answer it, staring at the fridge in her room. She could get a drink. Wouldn’t be hard just take it from the mini fridge. 

Her phone stops shaking. And then a minute later, it chimes, letting her know that a voice message has been left behind. The third one and more likely than not it’s from Calum. She wants this. She wants the relationship, but lately, it felt like there was no time. There was no time for anything. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t pause. And that’s all she wanted. That’s all she wants right now. She doesn’t want to open that voicemail to Calum pleading with her to answer. She wants to get back to when things were easier. And obviously, they were easier because they both had nothing to do. 

Swiping her room key and her wallet, she heads down to the bar in the hotel. She orders herself a glass of wine. The glass makes a soft click as it settles down in front of her. She takes one sip. And it’s a little bitter, the red drier than she remembers it being. Soon the glass stares back at her and she can see her warped reflection. Would it just be easier for them to take things down a level? Is she afraid of hard work or more afraid of heartache?

With another two glasses of wine in her, she climbs back into the elevator and it takes her up, floor by floor until it digs and the doors slide open. The room is dark when she reenters like she left it the AC blasting. But she can see the blue light of her phone, on the desk, lighting up that corner of the room. Is it fair? If she wants to bolt, if she wants to cut ties so it makes things so much easier for them? Why couldn’t it be easy?

Calum’s sure he’s going to pull all his hair out. One moment, things are going good. They get a little tight for sure with their schedules never quite lining up to allow them more time together. But this is the third day in a row that he’s gone with nothing from her. No texts, not a returned call. Not even a meme in their Twitter thread. Nothing on her finsta. Her regular account post mainly about her upcoming shows. But he is as closed to being blocked without actually being blocked. 

“Hey, I-I don’t know if something’s gone wrong. But please, please call me back. Or text me. Or send me a voice message. Something. Anything. Please? If I did anything, please let know what it was? I’m worried. Am I losing you?”

He ends the recording and sends it. Maybe he ought to stop reaching out so much. Should he wait for her to respond before sending more? But he doesn’t want to lose her? He doesn’t want to lose what they have. He hasn’t found it with anyone else in all his searching and even in his not searching. This fell into his lap and he can’t stand to lose it. Not when there had to be something to do to save it. 

His phone sits for another day and half before she calls. He hands shake as he goes to answer it. He almost doesn’t want to answer it. His vegetable stir fry even threatens to come back up his throat. It’s not even burnt this time. But somewhere in his mind, somewhere deep, he had figured she wouldn’t ever call him back. He would be cursed to always wonder what went wrong. “Hey,” he breathes as he answers the call. 

“Hey.” It’s croaky, like she might’ve been crying. And then it’s silent. Neither one of them are sure how to bring it up. Neither of them know how to ask what’s lingering between the two of them seems almost too much for words.

“Did I do something?”

“No,” she sighs. It would be easier if he had. It would be easier if she had. It would be easier if both of them were just bad for each other. “It’s just hard.” 

“Talk to me. Let me in. We can figure it out.”

That’s the whole crux of her issue. She had let Calum in. She had let him so far in that it was starting to seem impossible to stay in her country and work. She had let him so far in that she wasn’t sure it would be possible to go months without seeing him properly. He was in everything, her bookshelves, her closet, her studio, her lyrics, her studio, in her sheets. Everything reminded her of him. And it just hurt in a way that she didn’t think being in love could hurt. In her silence, Calum continues on, “Let me look at something.” He scrolls through the emails, looking at the dates. 

“How? How do we figure it out? On your tour, the only break you have in my country I’m in promo. And after that, you only get a day here or there. Everything’s so mismatched now.” 

Calum blinks the tears that are stinging at his lower lash line. “Something’s gonna give.” Something has to give. There has to be something. Calum goes back to emails. What would be the magic code for them?

“I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

His throat jumps at her words, heart racing. “No, don’t say that. If you say that, I know what comes next.”

“Maybe it would just be easier, Calum.” 

He is sick of it. Sick of things always blowing up in his face. But he can’t make her do something. He can’t make her take the words back, even if he wants her too. “We said there was an us.” It’s not accusorary as it falls from his lips. It just hurts. Things were going so well for so long, until time proved herself the ultimate judge yet again. “So what now?” The walls of his house start to push in closer on him. 

“I’m not saying I never wanted more for us. I’m not saying that I want to cut you completely out of my life, Calum. I wanted so much more for us.”

“Me too. I want more for us.” 

“Is now a good time though? Is now going to allow us more?”

Calum wants to laugh, it bubbles in his chest and he knows it’s delivery would be dry but he swallows it back down. “If you’re always waiting for the perfect moment, you’ll be waiting for a long time.”

“Maybe there’s a better time for us. Not a perfect one. Just a better one.”

“Maybe,” he whispers. 

“You know, you’re in everything right? When you said to let you in, I couldn’t help but think that was my problem. You’re in my goddamn sheets. You’re in everything. When the sun rises, it’s like watching you smile. If you think I’m shutting you out, that I’m trying to save myself, I want you to know that I’m doing the exact opposite. I am drowning. In everything. In you. In whatever the fuck it means to be a musician. I am drowning and I can’t bear taking you down with me.”

He couldn’t possibly be in everything, not when she was in everything for him. In his journals, in the strings of his bass. When he sits down at a piano, he can’t help but think of the throaty notes that start the song she wrote about him. He can’t help but hear her voice, Brown irises and black tattoos. Maybe they were both drowning and couldn’t see anything but the water invading their own nostrils and lungs. “You’ll always be there,” Calum says, sniffling. The tears shock him, he hadn’t felt them until they’re running down his neck. He doesn’t even know where there is, but he feels it in the cavity of his chest.

_________________

That video is going to haunt him. And it’ll haunt her too. Whenever they see the videos and pictures of when Calum surprised her on stage it always shows just how fucking happy they were with each other. How things really were working for them. But right around the corner, right as she runs behind the edge of the stage, the world doesn’t see the kiss. They don’t see the tears that followed phone calls. They don’t see how schedules always seems to be running in parallel but never fucking intersectiong. That’s all they needed. Just one point to intersect, to meet again at, and maybe they would still be tagging each other in stupid memes. Maybe they would still be talking until crazy hours of the morning. Maybe they would still be writing small poems about each other and always posting them, but never saying who they were about. 

Maybe if they just had the one chance to intersect again, her second album wouldn’t be about him. Maybe she could’ve talked about the way the clouds surf in the sky. Maybe she would have pondered the questions of existence without it being tied up in lost love. Maybe Calum would’ve had more to say in interviews. Maybe then, no one would ask him about his love life and it wouldn’t hurt to goddamn bad every time one of the other boys would jump in to save him. Maybe Calum wouldn’t feel like a rock sinking to the bottom of the river and seeing the sunlight just above him, but never having the willpower to push back up. 

He hadn’t removed her number. Hadn’t unfollowed her on her finsta. Hadn’t blocked her on a goddamn platform. Because somehow that felt like a harsher step. Like a permanent close, like he was trying to erase who she was and what she had meant to him. It’s stupid, he knows. It’s insane and it’s not helping him in the slightest, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Maybe part of it was that natural and sometimes detrimental curiosity if that person was suffering just like you. He wanted to know if she bled just like him, if her pain was just as vicious as his. 

Calum watches the video loop back again. The way she bites her lower lip but runs after him. The crowd is still screaming. They are still cheering. They are still buzzing. After saving the tweet, he drafts a message to her: I know you’ve moved to New York. I hope you’re enjoying it. City makes you feel anonymous doesn’t it? I have two days off during this tour. Maybe we have our better time now? I’m sure by now you know all the best places in town for pizza. I could be down for some cheesy delights. 

Should he send that? His fingers shake. What’s left for them after a year and a half? They’ve still supported each other. He retweets about all her singles and videos. She praises the band’s new music in interviews. They aren’t unknown to each other. But somehow they feel like two ghosts. There’s a glass wall between and they look at each other just in passing. They never touch. They never intersect again. Instead, he exits the messaging app, but doesn’t actually delete the words. 

When he goes back to the message thread, about a week from their dates in New York, there’s no shock that the app hasn’t saved it. And he feels partially relieved. He exits the app again and goes back to his mindless scroll through Instagram. An app saved him this time. 

There is nothing to save him though, when he walks into the green room and spies her shrugging a coat on. The New York mornings are a little cool to the start. His heart is now in his throat. He’s not sure if he should swallow it back down. “We can go,” Ashton says quietly, taking him back his arm gently.

And somehow, like her ears are tuned in on everything, she hears something like her name, something like a soft wisp of a voice. When she looks up and sees Calum, donned in all black, though his long lined jacket has some white stitching and embroidery, she’s sure she could melt into the floor. He still looks good. Still has the same quiet pout to his face that makes him look slightly less approachable but it changes in a heartbeat when he smiles. She grabs the strap to her bookbag purse. 

She knows it was her that ended things. She knows that seeing Calum here in front of her, should make her feel embarrassed. But somehow, all she wants to do, all she’s ever wanted to do since that phone call is embrace him one last time. Tell him that he’s still handsome as ever. Promise him that she meant what she said, that he was and still is in everything. “C’mon. We gotta go,” her security tell her. 

But all she can do is stare at Calum. Unzipping her purse, she finds the note, the letter she never had the courage to send him and with a deep breath, she walks over. Ashton looks like he could probably murder her. And she doesn’t blame him. She could never blame that instinct to protect the ones you love especially from the ones that hurt them the most. “I’m sorry,” she says, holding out the white envelope. “For everything. And if we don’t ever get that better time, know I’d only ever wish the best for you.”

Calum’s fingers barely grasp onto the note before she’s sidestepping him. The boys circle around him, like they’re just waiting for his word to pounce. She steps through the heavy glass door. And she’s leaving him again. She’s going to slip through his fingers. Again. Pushing through Luke and Michael, Calum swings open the door. “Wait!” he calls out. 

She stops, spinning on her heels to face him again. Calum jogs down the corridor. All the offices have windows. Everyone is probably watching. With both hands cupping her face, letter between his fingers and all, he pulls her in close. “You’re not leaving me again. You’re not going to walk out my life a second time. Not without me putting up a hell of a fight.”

“You shouldn’t fight for me. Not after what I did.”

“Meet me tonight. Let’s actually talk about it. I’ve been holding so much inside and if, god forbid, if it’s not now if we had our shoot and we fucking blew it, at least I’ll know for sure.”

“Does 8 work for you?” She tries so hard not to wrap her hands around his wrist, not to slide it up his forearms and tug herself into his chest. And god, he still smells the same. Old Spice and Gain. It feels so right to press herself into his chest. 

“Yeah,” he mumbles into the top of her head. It’s still the same scent as before in almost two years, he can’t even believe it.

She takes a step back, patting at her pockets and pulls out a pen. Pulling the envelope from his fingers, she scribbles down a name and address. “If this place is too far from your hotel, just call me.” He watches her, jotting down more numbers. “It’s my new US number.” While handing the infor back to him, she grins just a little. “Don’t lose it now.”

Calum laughs, remembering the first time she delivered that line to him. “I won’t. Promise.”

Dear Calum, 

There’s no real way to say this that doesn’t make my chest feel like it’s been punched  in. I shouldn’t have let you go. There was a way to make it all work. There was a way so that you and I could’ve pushed through. I was just too scared of things going too right, going too well. Maybe that sounds dumb. Or maybe that sounds insane. But the truth of the matter, I messed up. I’m sorry. And you don’t have to ever forgive me. You deserve the ability to move on. You deserve everything good that comes to you in the future. I want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me. Even if our better time has passed. 

You deserve to be happy. 

Calum reads over the letter again. Still not sure how his lungs are still operating because he was positive all the air had been exhaled. It’s the fourth time he’s read it today. Since he had Michael read it out to him in the green room. He would’ve asked Ashton, but knew that Ashton would’ve told him not to worry, to keep moving forward. Because he had, in a way. He had thrown himself into music. He had tried to chase after her in other people. He had read all the books on poetry, and love, and philosophy. But something down in his gut told him that he would never let her go again if he got a second chance with her. 

He looks at the date. She wrote it six months after everything went south. Maybe she forgot to send it. It had his name on it--just never fully addressed out though. She could’ve messaged him. Emailed. Called. Literally anything and he would’ve answered. But hadn’t she? What held her back? And just as he goes to read it over one more time, the door chimes open. He looks at his phone. Just as the time ticks over to 8. And when he glances over his shoulder, there she is. In the same jacket from before. 

The little pizza shop isn’t too loud. Most people come in just to get their few slices and then dip right back out. She smiles, waving just a little before sliding onto the stool next to him. She points to the letter, that he hasn’t even moved to put up, “Sorry it’s not my best work. I thought about finding a synonym for happy but nothing fit right.”

With a breathy chuckle, Calum folds the letter up, slipping it into his pocket. “What do you recommend off the menu?”

“God, with this place, anything.” 

They settle back down on the stools, paper plates not fully supporting the extra large slices and a stack of napkins between them. The grease runs down his chin and Calum feels it rolling too. But his hands are full trying to keep his slice from falling. She laughs, dabbing at his face with a napkin. “I still see you’re the messiest eater around.”

“Hey, hey, it’s not my fault,” he grins. Their giggles dissipate as the bell chimes again, a signal of another patron entering. “What happened?” The question doesn’t feel full enough, doesn’t feel like it fully encapsulates all the confusion he holds. But yet, those are the only words he has.

“A lot started happening all at once. Your tour, my second album. More shows. It just-I felt like I couldn’t breathe. That I wasn’t a person. And maybe part of it was selfish. Maybe I was trying to save myself all along and I was just telling myself and you that I wasn’t selfish. I really am sorry. Like, if I had known, god if I had known that doing that would’ve caused all the pain it did, trust me, I wouldn’t have. If I could go back and tell myself, that crazy shit happens and you just gotta learn how to keep your cool, I’d do it in a heartbeat. It was a mistake letting you go. But at the same time, reaching out felt wrong too. Like I would’ve been ruining the peace you had created for yourself. And I didn’t want to do that either.”

“You know, I felt like we had something different. Like that was really going to be it for me and I had finally figured out this whole being in love thing. That I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. And maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I saw something happening and didn’t do anything.”

“We were living continents away. With everything happening, you weren’t seeing all of it. No need to blame yourself.” She takes his hand, slipping her fingers between his, twisting at the silver band around his middle finger. “I do want you to be happy, Calum. I want you to be so happy it just can’t be contained.”

“I was with you.” He squeezes her hand, willing her to look at him and not the street in front of them, through the glass. 

“I’m still not in L.A.”

“But you are in the same country as me now and I will take that.”

“You’d still take me back after everything?” When she looks at him, brows furrowed together, Calum knows he’s a goner. He always was with her. 

“I would.” 

“You’d be crazy.”

“I am already crazy. Because I’m tempted to ask you where you’re staying and if I could stay the night.”

He’s leaned in to her, just a hair. And she leans in too, resting mostly shoulder to shoulder. “You are crazy,” she laughs softly, taking in the reflection of the neon lights on the street. “But maybe I’m also crazy too.”

The night is cool again. Both of their boots scuff the concrete. She doesn’t stay far from the small diner, a ten minute walk really. With fingers threaded through each other, they walk huddled close up the sidewalks. The wind whips across their faces. They dodge piles of trash on the edge of the sidewalks and they keep their heads down so as to not attract a crowd. “How do you like New York? Got to be a huge shock?”

“It most definitely is. I like feeling anonymous here. With so many people around.”

“I know you said you don’t do well with people and New York feels like the opposite of the place you want to. Especially not in the city.”

“I mean, I still don’t do great with people. I’m in the city for the time being. But I have my eye on a few places further out. But after everything, I felt less lonely here. I don’t know. No one cared about who I was. No one cared what the fuck I was doing here. And I liked it better that way. Back home, everyone knew. Everyone looked at me like I was a broken vase. Here, no one gave a shit. It’s move or be moved here. Forced me to come to terms with everything. Forced me to accept everything I was trying to hide.”

“Do you need to go to your hotel? Grab or bag or something?” She asks just before they pass the opening for the subway. 

“I have my roomkey. It’s all good. All the interviews were today.” 

“As long as you’re sure.”

He gives her hand another squeeze. “I’m sure.” They reach the door to the complex and she digs out her keys, opening the front door. Calum follows her through the second set of doors. The elevator is a little janky as it carries them up, and definitely tiny. In the space, they’re pressed chest to chest. There are a few extra lines around her eyes, he notices and runs the pad of his thumb over the skin. It’s just as soft as it’s always been. She feels so familiar under his touch, yet so new. 

It’s not a far ascent and she laughs when he pouts as she pulls away. “Just like four more steps.” 

It’s true to word, when they step out of the elevator, her door is directly in front of it. Her keys jingle just a little as she works the lock and pushes into the chipping red paint of the door. Her dog leaps from the couch, greeting her and then barking just a little when they spot Calum. He laughs, kneeling to hug them to his chest. “You still remember me, huh?” he laughs, as they attempt to lick his face and jaw. “Oh, too long, I know. Sorry, bubs. Didn’t forget about you.”

She takes his jacket, hanging it by the door. “Want anything to drink?”

Calum shakes his head from her couch, working at his shoes. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

She nods, watching as her dog claims Calum’s attention. But she can’t find an ounce of herself to be mad or annoyed. So she slips out of her shoes and puts them up, before getting herself a bottle of water. When she settles onto the couch, she just laughs at the antics. Calum keeps trying to say something but at every twist, her dog is right there, plopping themselves in his lap. Calum eventually gives up and wraps his arms around their body, scratching lightly at their fur. 

“Someone missed you too,” she teases, putting her two fingers really close together. “Just a tiny bit.”

His laughter echoes in her head. “Yeah, clearly just a little.” He lifts his head just a little when he feels the wet tongue at his chin. “So, you’re working on your third album?”

“On and off,” she admits. “Playing more shows than anything for the time being. I don’t have to think. Everytime I think too much I end up fucking something up. So I’m just taking it easy for the time being. Taking some brand deals.”

“You’ve got a collab coming out soon, right?”

She nods at the question, laughing as her dog finally settles down. “Yeah, next month. I’ve always lived kind of a boring life, you know that.”

“There’s a lot I don’t know.” He can finally shift, as her dog wanders over to the water bowl, so that he can sit in front of her. It’s a dangerous game. He’s played it before with her. But he takes her chin into his hands. “We haven’t really talked in a while.”

“Is there something you want to say, Calum?”

“Yeah,” he returns simply. Her breath hitches, eyes searching his brown ones for something, anything that tells her what’s going on. “I wonder if your lips still feel the same. I always thought about the way you’d laugh sometimes into a kiss. And it used to haunt me. But right now, I want to find out if anything else has changed.”

She wastes no time, pushing up and sealing her mouth around his. His hand slides to the back of her neck and she pulls at the collar of his shirt. They fall into each other, then falling into the arm of the couch. She exhales her laughter, still pecking at Calum’s lip. Her fingers tease the skin of his upper chest and neck.

“I was right,” he grins. 

She hooks her finger around the gold plate. “I guess you were.” She pulls him back in for another kiss, slipping her hands into his hair. 

As his lips trail over her jaw and down to her neck, she thinks about the time at her apartment back home, Calum woke her up with kisses down her jaw. They still feel the same. Maybe even a little bit better. His finger push up the hem of her shirt, squeezing at the flesh of her side. She sighs and Calum groans at the sound. It sets off everything in his body when he hears her quiet noises of pleasure. 

“Is this okay?” he asks, pulling away to look at her as his fingers brush over her skin. “I don’t want to push you or take things too fast this time.”

Being with Calum feels like no time has past, if she’s honest. She doesn’t have the butterflies, just the comfort of someone she’s known for a year. And it sort of feels like they’re picking back up from where they left off. “I’m okay with it.”

He grins and she sees it--that rising sun in the gleam. His forehead rests against her. “I kinda feel like we have a lot of lost time to make up for.” His lips brush just over hers as he speaks. 

She exhales her laughter again, but agrees. “Just a little bit. I really am sorry.”

“We all make mistakes. You just have to communicate with me, okay? That’s all. Talk to me this time. If you feel like you’re drowning, let me help. Please.”

She pushes up and Calum settles back down into the cushion, taking her hands into his. “I know things won’t be like, perfect now. But I guess, it’s really important that we do get to spend quality time together.”

“It is. And I know my tour schedule is pretty packed right now, but there’s another longer break in about three weeks. They’re LA shows. I don’t know if you have plans, but if you do, we can hang out then.”

She has to laugh because here’s the trouble all over again. “Booked recording sessions then.”

“Okay, well, the week after that is the break between legs. What are you doing then?”

“Nothing.” There’s a break between sessions, and she had just planned to use the time to breathe. 

“I’ll fly you out then. Just you and I and my rehearsals. But that’s besides the point.”

Laughing, she rests her head into his bicep. “Just you, I, and your rehearsals. Got it.”

“We’ll have to better plan out things, that’s all. We’ll have to look at both our schedules and make sure that there’s sufficient breaks and time together.” He guides her head up. “I want you. And I mean all of you. I can’t stand to lose you again.”

“I just have to make sure Ashton doesn’t kill me.”

“He’s protective, yes. But not an evil. I’ll talk to him. Don’t you worry.” 

“He did write a whole song about how he’d bury a body for you. So I think I have a little bit to worry about.”

Calum laughs, shaking his head. “Maybe just a little bit.” Her grin makes him want to bottle it. He wants to carry it with him in his pocket. Leaning closer, he kisses her again. “But right now, it’s just you and I. There’s nothing else but time for us right now.”

She hums. “I like the sound of that.”

Fingers trail back under shirts. She drinks down his moans as they tease, barely touch. Calum’s shirt is discarded in the living room and her is pulled off in the hallway. Calum holds her face in his hands, memorizing the way her teeth sink into his bottom lip in the gentle nip. He moans. Fuck, she feels so good against him. 

Her spine shivers as his fingers trail to her back and unsnap the band of her bra. As the fabric falls from her shoulders and she tosses it somewhere, Calum takes a hand just to cup her. His fingers roll the erect bud and she sighs again, mouth falling slack against his. He laughs. “Hmm, that’s right. Someone does like their nipples played with.”

She grins though, blinking open her eyes. “Don’t think I forgot that you don’t listening to rules and like a little pain.”

Finding her waist with both hands, Calum holds her in close. “You wouldn’t dare.”

She bends her knees, just a little and with hot and open mouth kisses she trails down his chest before taking her teeth into the meat of his peck. Calum jolts, a grunt falling over his lips and throat. “I would dare,” she returns. 

They fall into her sheets, the same golden ones from before. They’re just as soft against Calum’s skin. It’s warm, as their skin heats up. Her skirt has landed somewhere to the floor and Calum pushes his hips up as she shrugs the denim down. She kisses over his thighs, moaning just a little. Calum lets his eyes flutter close at her soft kisses. 

Everything just feels right. Even as Calum takes a nipple into his mouth, tongue teasing her just a little. Or when she kisses over his length. But right now, she tosses her head back when Calum pries her legs open kissing up her inner thighs. “I’ve dreamed of this,” he whispers, watching as she clenches, more of her arousal leaking from her. 

She huffs, pulling a hand through her hair. “You sure do know how to make a girl sweat.”

“It’s a speciality,” he laughs with a wink before kissing her clit. She balls on fist around her sheets, stomach completely clenched. The last thing she wants is to have to wait much longer for anything. The anticipation can be a good thing, though she’s doing everything she can to keep her cool. That is, until Calum finally takes the first lap from her and she unravels, a moan leaving her throat as it mixes with a whine. 

He takes his time, pushing her thighs and knees to give him all the access he could ever want. Calum licks another stripe over her, before sucking her clit into his mouth. She taste better than he could’ve ever imagined. Every sound she gives--moans, groans, or a whine--rattles in his brain and spurs him on. One of her hands finds it’s way into his hair and she tries to push up with her hips and his face down into her core. But it’s not like he needs the assistance or the reminder. When he trails down to her opening, his nose brushes over her clit and her body is reeling. 

“Oh, fuck,” she whines, feeling the coil in her lower gut tightening. 

Calum hums at the sounds, and when she praises him, tells him that he’s the only one to make her feel this fucking food, he rewards, slipping a finger into the mix, pushing up into her. “Is that so?” he asks, watching her head dive deeper into the pillows. 

“God, Calum,” she huffs. 

Another finger finds it way inside, pushing and curling in all the right places. Her body feels like it’s on fire. She feels like she’s a coil so tightly wound she’s going to break. His tongue flicks across her click, lapping at her. And that’s it, that’s the right combination to send her over the edge. Over she goes, with a yelp, her orgasm rocking her frame and toes curling as she cries out for Calum. 

He keeps her going, keeps curling his fingers at her. So lost in the way she sounds. And when the huffs turn into a hiss, he pulls back. She beckons him up, kissing him and tasting her own arousal coating his lips and tongue. He’s careful not to settle fully against her, but it’s quickly changed when her legs come up and lock around his waist. “I’m not gonna break,” she laughs, when he finally let’s go and sinks into her. 

She swallows his response with a kiss but it doesn’t matter anyway. Her hips come up and Calum rolls onto his back, letting her settle atop him. Her nails rake down his skin and she sucks at his neck, he’s sure it’ll bruise just a little but it’s okay with him. His nails dig into the flesh of her hips, not sure if he wants the friction right now or if he just needed to revel in the feeling of her against him. 

“Shit,” he whines when she rocks over him. “I-fuck.”

She laughs, pulling away to reach into her drawer. “That sounds about right.”

Calum delivers a swift swat to her ass at the joke, but laughs anyway. “That is not funny.”

“Then why are you laughing.” When she turns her attention back to him, condom in hand. She stretches down to kiss him again. “Did I ever tell you you’re not the only one that likes a little pain?”

His eyebrows arches and he smooths over her ass before delivering another spank to her opposite cheek. She sighs, eyes fluttering close just a little. “Oh, buttercup, you should’ve never told me that.” 

“We can save it for another time? Because right now the only thing I can think about is riding you until the sun rises.”

Kneading at her breast, Calum grins. “Now, that sounds about right.” 

There’s a moment, right as she settles down on him fully, that they both moan at the feeling. Calum because of the warmth and slickness, her because of the stretch. Her head is dizzy again with need. She steadies herself with her hands planted on his chest and rocks. All she can focus on is the girth of him, stretching her completely open. It makes her toes tingle and she falters, falling into his chest, but starts a new cadence, pulling up and settling back down on his length. 

“Holy shit,” he huffs. She buries her face into the crook of his neck and Calum coaxes her out, to look at him. “You don’t get to hide from me, not again. Wanna see that pretty face when you cum.”

Her hips are still rocking but she nods, eyes fluttering close just for a moment. Calum kisses her, and it’s his turn to swallow down the moan she feeds him. She pushes back up, pulling her own breast between her fingers. Calum loses the top of his head, he’s sure, watching as she rides him. His fingers trail over her hips, up to her stomach. “Why’d you have to be so handsome?” she teases breathy. 

He’s not sure how to respond. Unsure of the heat he feels is a blush or the sweltering of arousal flooding his body. She takes one of his hands, trailing it towards her heat. And Calum takes the hint, thumb circling the bundle of nerves. Her head falls back on her neck as a hum builds in her chest. Calum kneads at her right breast, pulling and pushing at every button he can to have orgasm again for him. 

A high pitched squeak falls from her. The bed taps against the wall, but neither one of them really cares. Her orgasm washes over it, like a wave crashing into the shoreline. She shudders, clenching around him and falls again into his chest, but pushes up onto her elbows, remember Calum’s early demand. “Fuck,” she whines when he starts to fuck up into her. He pulls her body up and she’s useless, body still like jello from her orgasm. Her words catch in her throat. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers into her ear when she bites down onto his shoulder. “You know I like the pain.”

“Feel so good,” she returns. “Calum, shit, you feel so good.” His hips start to stutter, trying to ride out for longer, but knowing that inevitably he’s at the end of his rope. She kisses over his neck. “Cum for me, yeah? Please.”

Who is he to deny her? Who is he she to defy her? He ruts up once, twice, and she clenches hard, taking most of the wind of his third thrust but he cums hard, arms squeezing her to his chest and he knows he’s loud in her ear as he groans. Though, it’s suspected that’s just the sound she wanted to hear as she seals his mouth with hers. 

Calum wraps the towel around his waist. She’s already under the cover, with them flipped down for him. She pats the spot in the mattress. He can see some of the hickies covering her chest that he left behind. Without much thought, Calum dries off a bit more and then slips between the sheets. “Hey,” she whispers. “Come here often?”

“My first time actually. But the first of many, I hope.”

Her nose scrunches as Calum taps it. “Yeah, of many. I brought your phone into the room. Put it on my spare charger. And I know that it’ll go off at 5:55 AM. No, you don’t have to turn it off. I know it’s important to you.”

“You--you still remember that?

“I don’t know if you really remember. But when I said that you were in everything, you were everywhere. I meant it.” She turns to her back, the sheets tucked up to her chin. Both of them are bare beneath them. 

Calum’s taken up drawing random patterns on her stomach as he holds himself up on his elbow, facing her. “I remember. Could never forget that.”

“Guess we might’ve meant for something more, something better.” Her voice is soft. The blinds in her window let the lights of the city in. Nothing about it is quiet as sirens pass by. Calum lets his head fall into her pillows. She turns, both of them now facing each other again. Her arm slides over his waist. He throws one of his legs over hers. 

She’s content like this, where she can kiss across the tattoos on his chest. Though she can’t really see the one just under his peck, she thinks about the question poised there. Why would she choose anything other than Calum? It remains quiet for a while and she thinks he’s fallen asleep until his chest rumbles. 

“We were. It was just a matter of getting there. Finding the right path for us.” He’s positive, as she shuffles in a little closer that this is it for him. And if he has to fight hell, heaven, or high water, he’d do it all for her. 

[tessandscottforever18]

On the surface, singer-songwriters Camila Cabello, Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi, Anderson .Paak, and brothers Ron and Russell Mael (aka Sparks) don’t have much in common — their ages span 24 to 76, their birthplaces range from Havana to Cleveland, and their music genres are all over the map. But when the quintet gathered for THR’s Songwriter Roundtable in November, it quickly became clear that they speak the same language — music — and before departing they exchanged hugs, phone numbers and snapped selfies, along with plans to get together and perhaps even collaborate. In theory, they could also meet up at the Oscars, given the buzz around original songs they co-wrote with others and sang in their respective films: pop star Cabello’s “Million to One,” written with Scott Harris for Kay Cannon’s live-action Cinderella in which she also starred

Camila, Cinderella has been done so many times, but never in the modern way that you all did it. You obviously made your name as a singer with Fifth Harmony and then solo. But was acting also always an aspiration of yours?

CABELLO My favorite thing about my music videos was getting the chance to be a part of a narrative. I was in drama class when I was in middle school, and that’s how I came to singing, too. It was a way I could express myself and overcome my shyness. My drama teacher was the first person I sang in front of, and I realized, “Oh, I love getting onstage and performing,” whether it be singing or doing improv or whatever. So as time went by, I was always like, “Music is my first love, my first vehicle for expressing myself, but if I stumbled upon the right thing, I would be so hyped to explore acting.” It was fucking terrifying that I had the lead in the first acting project that I did, but eventually I was like, “Here we go — music video!”

Some of you are known for writing about things that are very personal. Is it jarring to have to write about something that’s not?

CABELLO I don’t think I know how to write in any way that isn’t personal to me. When I was working on “Million to One” for Cinderella, to be totally honest, I was going through a really hard time with my mental health. It was just a period of a lot of anxiety and sadness for me, and that song had me feeling like, “I can overcome this. I know that I can make my life better.” I feel like I channeled my personal journey into the one of the character. The character was super confident — everybody was telling her no, but she knew.

When did you first feel like you’d “made it”?

CABELLO I’ve been lucky to have people at different times show me kindness. When I was like 16, 17, and I was still in Fifth Harmony, I fell in love with songwriting. I remember approaching Taylor Swift and being like, “Hey, what do you do when you’re in a writing slump?” or whatever, asking her for advice, and she showed me a lot of kindness. Ed Sheeran too. These were my songwriting heroes, so I was stoked that they were even talking to me.

Because of technology, the industry has also become more democratized. We have people here who are living proof of that.

CABELLO For me it was The X Factor. When I was 15, I was in Miami, and there was no way I would’ve ever gotten to have a career without just a one-in-a-million — speaking of “Million to One” — opportunity like that. That show really does democratize. I had to drive with my family seven hours to North Carolina and was one person out of thousands who got picked, and if it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t be here. But even before that, I put up videos on YouTube of me singing cover songs.

What’s the feedback from fans that has meant the most to you?

CABELLO The feedback that I got from young girls when they watched Cinderella was really heartwarming. But the feedback I’ve gotten that means a lot to me right now? For my latest album, tapping into my family, my roots, my heritage as a Cuban and Mexican woman: I wrote a song with Cuban artist Yotuel called “Lola.” Talk about music being powerful — this accompanied a movement which gave the Cuban people the bravery, for the first time in like 60 or 70 years, to go out into the streets and fight [as part of anti-government protests that began July 11]. And my mom and grandparents and cousins hearing it and crying and being like, “Damn, she’s really fucking giving a voice to our people” — to make my family proud, that’s special.

[cosmiclatte28]

Quick Escape (Baekhyun x you)

Warning : do not over drink, don’t get drunk. Slightly suggestive, but no smut

How are you all? Excited for the first Baekhyun Japanese album solo ?? What about KOLO?? 

Alright, here we go!!

"Are we ready to go?" your boyfriend asks as he closes the car trunk and helps you open the passenger door. "Yes, we're good. I've sent Mongryong to Kai yesterday. He'll take care of the corgi." you explain to Baekhyun who just met you today. He was staying in Chanyeol's home last night because his solo preparation ended too late and you don't want Baekhyun to drive in the middle of the night by himself. Today, the two of you have planned to take hree days two night quick break. Monday is a holiday and so you two emptied your schedules and make time for a self-treat weekend. Baekhyun is busy with his photoshoot and Japanese album preparation. You've seen your boyfriend looking tired from the big project, but he was happy to release the first Japanese solo album with not just one or two, but six versions! You sit in his Audi RS7, and buckle your seatbelt. Baekhyun detours and takes the driving seat. "Okay GPS set and here we go!" you cheer and Baekhyun just laugh at your excitement. With music blasted from your playlist and the two of you harmonizing to the songs, there are smiles over your faces that won't be gone any time soon. "Hehe looks like my girlfriend can actually make a featuring in my Japanese album." "Nani? I can only say nani and arigatou! I'll mess up the lyrics." you tease him and laugh when he laugh too. "I should probably ask the manager board if you can make a feature!" You just shrug your shoulder, what Baekhyun wants, he'll work hard for it right, so you don't really have the authority to stop him. It was a four hours drive, all done in the highway. When lunch time comes, the two of you pull over to a rest area. The rest area in Korea is unique, each area has different menu and specialized to their authenticity. "Let's eat lunch!" Baekhyun as always sounds happy on the thought of foods. You take your wallet and stretch your body when you finally get a chance to stand up. You reach out your hand and Baek knows the queue, he locks his car and pockets the key then takes your hand in his. Gladly the two of you swing your hands and enter the big room. "What should we eat?" You ask, knowing that Baekhyun is restricted to a diet usually and you don't want to torture him by seeing you eat the good guilty foods. Baekhyun lets out a small smile, always thankful for your attention and support to his activities and diets. "It's nice of you, I will just have kimbab. You can order whatever you want, it's okay... Don't hold it back." He rubs a hand on your shoulder and plants a quick kiss on your hair. "Okay, don't whine if I get something yummy." you taunt at him and walk to order what you want and his too.

You return with a number and wait for Baekhyun to get the two of you waters. He sets the table with chopsticks and spoons. When your number is called, you give the auntie the number and bring the tray of foods to the table. Baekhyun's eyes glisten and twinkle when he sees his favorite Tonkatsu set there. "Yaak how can I remain calm if the food you ordered is my favorite and looks soo good." he pouts as he opens his foil wrapped kimbab and pick one up to his mouth with the chopstick. "Just take mine if you want, several bites won't make you bloat honey." You calmly cut the pork cutlet and begin enjoying your lunch. Baekhyun munches his food while looking at you, it's like watching a mukbang show. He can feel the sauce taste just by looking at you. You laugh at his really cute expression and decides to push the plate to the middle, you turn the plate so the cutlet is facing his direction. "Eat up," you push some of the square cut meat to him. He smiles and finally gives up. 'Thank you, thought you'll be heartless and let me stick to the diet." He finally munches one of the pork cutlet and moans in delight. "I wasn't actually doing a good thing right? Breaking your diet." you raise your brow. He shrugs his shoulder, "Meh, I am happy now. So you're doing the right thing!" This is why the two of you get along well. You're one year away from marrying him, he has proposed and he wished to do the wedding before his enlistment. "Eat up honey, don't get sick. Your health and happiness comes first!" You put down your cutleries and let Baekhyun enjoys the rest of the portion. "If we eat without guilt, it's zero calories!" he grins as he takes in the last spoonful and you clap your hands like he was a baby who just finished his lunch. "Shall we grab coffee?" you know he enjoys americano after lunches and even though you did not drink caffeine, you never interfere his habit. "Sit down, I'll take the orders." Baekhyun points to an empty table in the corner and you sit down first. You take out your phone and play with your Instagram for a while, checking on fanpages and seeing if anyone caught Baekhyun and you. So long no one has discovered this relationship, but your family and his family have already met and agreed that the two of you can marry each other. His friends knew that you are his girlfriend, it's not a surprise for them when you come in randomly to drop lunch and even his choreographer knows. Only the boss and the director boards did not know, but Baekhyun said he did not violate any rules. He did not have a contract saying he cannot date a girl. Simply said his dating ban was removed already. Your boyfriend hidden in mask is back with a tray of ice americano, cold mint caffeine free tea, and a plate of cheesecake. You glance a "What is this" look on the cheesake and to him, he scratches his neck, "I tried to hold myself back. I want one bite." his puppy eyes are on his face and you can't say no. "It's okay, you drive a lot today. You have activities to burn your calories." you sneakily take a spoonful already and melt into the sweet salty fluffy creamy texture. "Woah this is the best!" you take another bite. "Told you." Baekhyun joins in. With that, you exchange story of what happened in your office last week and basically talk about random things. The break end nicely and Baekhyun is ready to drive again, well actually you offered him to take over the wheel, but he never let you drive. Not when you're with him. The rest of the journey was also filled with blasting song and singing on top of your lungs, plus teasing one another with cheesy jokes and pick up lines. You also talked to him what is lately happening in the fandom and he laugs at Aeri's funny memes about missing EXO. "We'll come back soon! Just keep on doing great Aeris, and we'll soon say we are one again." Baekhyun smiles secretly and you just nod your head. "We're here!!!" you scream when he parks into the small cottage and the helpers quickly handle your bagages. You did the check in and receive the key, Baekhyun ensured he left nothing on the car and parked it in front of the cottage. It is noon already when you two arrive and upon seeing the private pool and jacuzzi bathtub the two of you are turned into young kids. "Swim!!!" he runs to dip his toes into the water, "It's warm! let's dive in!" You toss him his swimming pants and you take out your swimming suit too. As soon as you're done putting on sun screens, you dive in first and wait for Baekhun who is struggling to put on the cream on his back. "Come here!" you gesture him to sit on the floor and you help him put on the cream on his pale back. "You need some tanning!" you groan He yells, "No way! I need to look bright..." You roll your eyes, 'No one ever saw your back!" His eyes pop out and he turns his neck to look at you, "You're not wrong." You click your tongue and toss the sunblock away. Baekhyun waits for five minutes and finally cannot wait any longer. "I don't care about my sun screen not being fully absorbed, I want to swim!" he canon balls into the pool and splashes water everywhere. You laugh and when he's inside you tease him by pulling him from under the water. Baekhyun is a good swimmer like you, so he did not panic and instead gets you back. You squeal when he can carry you easily inside the water and you lock your legs over his strong torso. Baekhyun carries you like a koala and you snuggle into his strong body. He leans in for a quick kiss and you give him one. "Hey we need to exercise! What about 5 laps race? This pool is so small, I'm sure we can do that." You stretch your neck and get ready to launch yourself. Baekhyun cracks his neck, "I'm in, three.. two.. one" he pushes himself and so do you. The two of you are neck and neck, but Baekhyun cannot beat you. 5 laps are done like that and the two of you are gasping for airs. Baekhyun won by a hair in the end, because you got tired in the middle. "I won!! What do I get?" he cross his hands over his chest. You think for a while, "I don't know.. me?" you giggle and he smirks, "Nice present!" he takes you into his embrace again and sits you down on the edge of the pool, your body shiver from the hot sun touching your wet skins and Baekhyun pulls you in to kiss you deep, he is still in the water, but with you bending your body, he can reach your lips. "I am not flexible." you push him away and groan at your sore back. He laughs, 'Said the girl who owned a Yoga video channel." You blush, hey you're just finding a way to end this. "Whatever, you got your reward. I want to use the jacuzzi." you stand up and wrap yourself in the bathrobe, and enters the jacuzzi bath that you have filled with water earlier. "No Fun! I also want!" Baekhyun runs to join you in. You give him space and the two of you just close your eyes there for a moment. Relaxing into the pulsating of the waters, hitting the tight knots on your shoulders. You almost fall asleep when you hear Baekhyun's stomach grumbles. "Uh oh it's from the swimming." he glances to the phone he brought, "Almost five, should we shower and prepare for dinner?" you nod and stretch yourself out from the water. You take turn bathing and afterwards prepare yourself for dinner. "You bring the dress I gave you last time?" he asks after he leaves the shower. You're drying your hair and nod at him, he gives a thumbs up, "Good! We'll need that for tonight." Baekhyun brings you to a nice fine dining restaurant, he said it was to make up the anniversary last month that he had to cancel. You can understand his cancelation last month, but having a make-up anniversary is good.

The dinner ends well and you thank Baekhyun for his sweet manners also for the good wine. You didn’t knew he had a good choice of wine!

“You really like that wine eh?” Baekhyun asks once the two of you are already lying comfortably in pyjamas on the big bed.

You snuggle into his big taller frame, “Yes I love it so much!” you peek to look his eyes.

He smiles and ruffles your hair, “Look at you being drowsy. You almost finished half of it.”

You nod, “I know right, it’s that good. And now I am feeling dizzy.

Baekhyun chuckles, you are not a heavy drinker too, but drowsy you is so cute and irresistible.

“Can you cuddle me like you mean it Baek?” you pout at him. Well here we go he thought. When you’re drowsy like this you become so clingy and demanding.

Baekhyun cradles you in his bigger frame and rubs your back, “Easy darling, you’re so demanding.” He breathes in your hair and smiles at the hint of strawberries hitting his nose.

“Your demanding baby,” you slurred

He smiles and kisses the crown of your head, “Yes, my demanding baby.” He lets out shaky breath as he gently hugs you to sleep and find the comfort, he has been missing this whole week.

Ah another nice sleep with you is everything he needs to heal his body.

 end :) thank you for reading

[the-himawari]

A3! Rurikawa Yuki - Translation [N] The Floral Prince

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Yuki: The prince of the Flower Country’s adventure and search for a bride, huh?

Izumi: It seems like it’s going to be a play with Summer troupe’s usual comedic aspects, but with a fairy-tale feeling.

Tenma: The characters are the main character Florence, the Floral Prince, his retainer Broto, the mysterious hunter boy Rose—. And also the Star Prince, Moon Prince and Sun Prince, right?

Kazunari: Prince Florence of the Flower Country is on his way to meet the princess of the East Country who’s rumoured to be an unrivaled beauty—. But not just Prince Florence, the princes of the other countries are also asking for the princess’s hand in marriage!

Misumi: The princess is really popular~!

Muku: But it seems the princess would be troubled if lots of people tried to court her all at once like in the story this time…

Kumon: Ummm, I guess you’d have to do a super cool proposal to beat the other princes and get the princess to choose you?

Kazunari: Ah! I have a good idea! Connected to role-making, how about we each try figuring out what kind of proposal we’d do if it were up to us!?

Tenma: A proposal!?

Kumon: Uwahh, that sounds super fun! I wanna do it, wanna do it!

Yuki: You’re a retainer, not a prince, you know?

Kazunari: It’s fiiine, it’s fiiine! Since we have the chance, do it with us, Kumopi!

Tenma: Actually, I’m kind of getting déjà vu with this flow of events…

Izumi: Ah, come to think of it, you’ve done something similar to this before, right?

Muku: Really?

Tenma: You know, Kazunari brought up the idea of doing a photoshoot for a tuxedo pamphlet at a chapel.*

Kazunari: Ahh! The members in that shoot also appeared as extras in the drama Tenten was starring in, right!

Tenma: Back then, Arisu-san said, “let’s try putting on proposal etudes in anticipation for when we play grooms on stage one day”—. So then everyone who was there acted out an etude.

Misumi: Yeah, yeah, how nostalgic~!

Kumon: Heh~! So that happened, huh!

Izumi: The proposal etudes you two did were really wonderful.

Muku: Wahh… That sounds lovely!

Tenma: In a way, this is a chance for us to make use of that experience doing those etudes just like Arisu-san said… isn’t it?

Yuki: By the way, am I doing this too? Just like Kumon, I don’t play a prince either, so.

Kazunari: Oh, then Yukki’ll try coming up with a reverse proposal or something!

Yuki: That sounds hard though.

Izumi: But you also have a scene where you play the princess in the second half of the story, so I think it’ll be helpful for role study.

Yuki: Well, that’s true I guess.

Kazunari: Alriiight, then everyone come up with a proper proposal by next rehearsal, ‘kay! It’s your homework!

-pause-

Azuma: I tried this face mask and it really moisturized my skin.

Azami: Heh… It’s that brand’s new product, huh?

Yuki: …

Azami: Yuki-san, what’s wrong?

Yuki: Ah, my bad. I was thinking about the homework Kazunari gave us.

Azuma: Homework?

Yuki: Yeah. For our role study, we’re supposed to come up with an ideal proposal plan. I play the princess, so mine’s a reverse proposal.

Azami: P-proposal!? Stuff like that’s still too early for us, ya know!

Yuki: Yeah, yeah, I made a mistake talking to you.

Azuma: Fufu, Azami sure is cute. But a reverse proposal, hm… It’s not like a typical proposal so it’s difficult.

Yuki: Exactly…

Taichi: Hah… this is hella nice…!

Azuma: What are you talking about, puppy-kun?

Taichi: They’re songs from an album that a friend lent me today! One of them is a love song that was popular a little while back. And I’m super into it now, see~.

Azuma: Heh, a love song?

Taichi: I heard girls really relate to the lyrics of this song! Do you wanna have a listen too, A-chan?

Azami: I-I don’t really…

Yuki: Relate, huh… …Hey, will you let me listen to that song for a bit?

-pause-

Kazunari: Alright, let’s get our proposal unveiling party started right away!

Misumi: Wah~!

Kumon: Who will start us off!?

Yuki: …Then I’ll go first.

Kazunari: Ohh~! Yukki’s reverse proposal’s the leadoff batter! Good luck piko!

Yuki: …Ahem. “I’m… really glad that I was able to meet you. I want to keep walking with you from now on as well.” “…Hey, will you marry me?”

Tenma: …

Muku: How wonderful…!

Izumi: The mood is really great…!

Kazunari: There’s no one who would refuse that, right!

Yuki: “By the way…” “Since you’re going to marry me, improve your sense and always give me lots of gifts that I’ll enjoy.” “We’ll divide the housework, but take a little more than me, ok? Also… I want to go on a trip 3 times a year.”

Tenma: …

Izumi: This is turning kind of…

Yuki: “Of course you’ll keep me company shopping, carry my bags, and take me out for lunch and dinner too.” “You’ll learn how to cook tasty food and make home-made meals for me. You’ll pick me up on rainy days. And also—”

Kumon: EHH!?

Misumi: There’s tons of requests~!

Kazunari: Yukki did a sudden 180!?

Yuki: I referenced a song the dumb dog told me about. It seems like girls can relate to this. So this kind of reverse proposal is possible too, right?

Tenma: That's way too selfish no matter how you look at it!

---

*References the All of Their 'Marry Me!'s event

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! music idol au (nekoma and fukurodani vers.)

i haven’t actually posted some hc’s in a while because i’ve been reading the manga but i hope you guys enjoy this surprise !! also check out the karasuno vers. and seijoh and shiratorizawa vers. for more music idol au’s 

TOKYO IDOLS ENTERTAINMENT

(this may or may not be the last of this series, maybe I’ll make one for inarizaki and date tech who knows?)

Also I hope y’all are ready for me Badly Titling Things Again

Okay so they’re both under Tokyo Idols Entertainment

Hah that wasn’t so bad was it just wait for it

Stray Cats and OWL6

This blogger’s brain cells are so fried that they’ve now resorted to puns

sO THEY’RE BOTH UNDER TOKYO IDOLS AND THEY’RE REALLY AMAZING GROUPS AND THEIR TALENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SHITTY GROUP NAMES

anyway so it was set up by Nekomata and they’ve been pretty good at producing groups over the years but their biggest hits have been their two recent groups

both of them actually started at the same time but they work with quite different concepts and have different dynamics

but they tend to collab and interact with each other a lot which the fans love

so lets get into the groups

Stray Cats - Nekoma

their leader is Kuroo ofc and they work with a lot of bad boy/edgy concepts and their music is more on the hip-hop and R&B side

a lot of their music videos and outfits are in the black-and-white with pops of red, blue, and yellow

you think the fans would get tired of seeing them in matching suits and leather jackets but no

anyway, Kuroo’s they’re leader who’s also main rapper, dancer, and visuals

he actually started out as a vocalist but since Stray Cats was going to be more of a hip-hop group he eventually picked up rapping (although those who have Deeply Analyzed the backing vocals for some of their tracks claim that Kuroo’s vocals will save the world)

his dancing looks super fluid and natural because he also tried ballet dancing at one point

sometimes he films himself practicing and shows off by wearing stilettos and not once tripping over himself

kai and yaku were his fellow trainees and just like in the manga, kuroo and yaku did not get along and kai had to be there to make sure no one died

kuroo and yaku were quite competitive with their dancing but eventually they realized that the fans loved their dynamic during their dances and worked together for once

their choreos almost always involve someone carrying yaku on their shoulders

he’s also another main rapper and he’s really good at a variety of styles

he’s also the mom of the group and likes to check on everyone before going live

the one who trains the more inexperienced members with their choreography and while he’s very much a perfectionist, he’s also the one who reassures them when they make a mistake on a live stage

kai is actually the genius behind most of their songs because his producer skills are mad crazy he’s been invited to collab with so many other artists (including the wonderful Kiyoko-san)

kuroo and yaku have no idea what goes on in his head but it’s probably music

they always make sure that kai gets enough sleep and is eating right when he’s working on an album

his dancing is pretty solid but he’s more well-known for being a main rapper and his smooth, sultry voice during the chorus that gives everyone eargasms

next we have kenma who’s one of the few main vocalists of the group

his voice is a nice tenor and he can hit a good amount of the high notes

can harmonize like it’s nobody’s business

he and kuroo had been friends since they were practically born and while kuroo dreamed of becoming a music idol onstage, kenma was more interested in songwriting and producing music

he joined Tokyo Idols for the opportunity to be a producer but Nekomata was like ‘why not be an idol?’ and kenma was like ‘no, I’ll have to dance’

he was then persuaded by kuroo and kenma decided to do some vocal training to make up for not wanting to move around so much

so, most of the time, he’s in the back and during his turn in the chorus he’ll make a bit of an appearance

he has done a few live solo performances but he’s playing the piano in them so he doesn’t have to look at the audience so much

he loves working with kai in the studio more than anything

doesn’t have a social media account because he doesn’t want to see how the fans talk about him (they mostly say good stuff though!)

now we have taketora who’s the main rapper of the group as well

this guy is an expert beatboxer and he does a very good job of hyping up the crowd

his rap is the kind that even fires up his teammates and they always let him know that he did a good job after every performance

he actually has a good amount of tattoos on his arms and he used to cover them with long-sleeves but the fans love them arms and the tattoos even more so

#MakeTaketoraSleeveless movement on Twitter thus begins

Taketora was super flattered but okay with it

Fukunaga is another main vocalist and he has a very deep voice that blends really well with his fellow vocalists

His voice doesn’t stand out that much and he doesn’t have a lot of solos but Stray Cats’ specialty is really blending their vocals (aside from their rappers and dancers)

And you can also definitely notice a difference when Fukunaga isn’t singing a part

He’s also the kind of dancer who does a lot of cartwheel and flip-like stunts that come in during the dance breaks

Has this habit of staring blankly in the distance during group interviews and fans make memes using his face

He also likes messing with his senpai’s but they all blame lev and don’t suspect a thing with Fukunaga (well, that’s until he posts the video)

Lastly, we have lev who is the youngest among all of them and also main vocalist and visuals

He has a nice baritone voice and he does most of the singing in the chorus but tends to get a bit lost when Fukunaga and Kenma come in

A lot of his time is spent practicing how to not get lost when people are harmonizing with him, especially since that’s what Stray Cat’s known for

He actually came in a bit late, like after the group had its first debut since they felt like they needed another vocalist

Lev also has a natural talent when it comes to dancing so Nekomata added him to the group

It was a bit difficult integrating him into the group but he also added onto the overall chemistry as the baby of the group

As much as they know he makes mistakes, his senpais always congratulate Lev on how far he’s come

No one wants to admit that he gets handsomer by the day because it will add to his ego but the fans do enough of that

OWL6 - fukurodani

They only have four members (because idk a lot about all the members and I also wanted to have like a four-person group)

JUST BECAUSE THERE’S A NUMBER 6 IN THE NAME OF THE GROUP DOESN’T MEAN THAT’S HOW MANY MEMBERS THERE ARE *glares at SEVENTEEN* *also I ended up looking up how many members there are in Day6 and now I feel bad I’m sorry day6 fans*

aNYWAY

They’re a very small group since Tokyo Idol wanted to try out having a four-person group

They don’t really have a singular kind of aesthetic or style like Stray Cats does but work with a variety of them

They do a good number of lively pop songs as well as ballads for the b-side tracks

They’re also made up of four vocalists, two of which also know how to rap, and are overall pretty solid

Bokuto’s their leader (even though its mostly Akaashi who holds the group together) but he speaks a lot for the group during interviews

He’s main vocalist, main dancer, and also main visual

His stage presence is astounding especially with his natural talent for dancing and his stamina is endless

He can sing really well even busting out the hardest dance moves

Although he’s unquestionably talented, he does get hit hard by online haters and will shut himself in the dance studio to practice until everyone drags him out

He’s super endearing and sweet around his fans, he’ll remember a fan that he saw more than once and send letters in response to fanmail

Bokuto’s known for being super clumsy though and he has destroyed a mic or his clothes or someone else’s clothes more than once

Once tripped on the way when OWL6 was about to receive an award

Sarukui is another main vocalist and rapper

His voice is quite deep but it sounds really melodic and unique that anyone could tell when he’s singing

Also knows a thing or two about music production and has helped produce a few of their tracks

He’s the one assigned to saying ‘That’s our leader!’ to Bokuto when he’s feeling down

Also responsible for the ‘Bokuto and Akaashi are dating’ prank on Twitter that became a whole thing

A shitposter, basically

Konoha Akinori is once again our jack of all trades, especially since he’s rapper, dancer, vocalist, and visuals

I would say that his back hurts from carrying OWL6 but each member knows how to hold their own

His back just hurts from curling up like a shrimp when he’s asleep

He gets a lot of lines because of this and fans love it when he leads the dance breaks, that being said he’s also tired all the time

Konoha has fallen asleep in interviews more than once and Sarukui takes the pictures of him

Because of his jack of all trades nature he also has a lot of weird, random talents that he likes to showcase in variety shows

These weird talents range from being able to name all of the countries in Europe backwards to being able to make a slingshot using his feet and a rubber band

It’s always something new with him

Everyone cheers him on except for Akaashi who’s soul has left his body

And last but definitely not the least, we have the youngest in the group, Akaashi, who’s also main vocals and visual

Everyone in OWL6 agree that Akaashi is the prettiest among them  

He also has such a sweet and beautiful voice that gives everyone eargasms

Sometimes everyone has to stop dancing during practice whenever they hear Akaashi sing

He also does a lot of vocal covers that he posts online and has released a few solo albums since he’s always working on making new music

Although everyone knows that he’d also do really well as a solo artist, Akaashi knows that his members were the reason why he wanted to debut in the first place and it just wouldn’t be the same without them

Extra HC’s for Stray Cats and OWL6

Kuroo and Bokuto have been friends since their trainee years and even though they were disappointed about not debuting in the same group they agreed to collab on a lot of things

During award shows they like to have a performance together, most often a dance cover, until Akaashi and Kenma decided to help out by writing a song for the two of them to perform

The members of both groups like to sneak into each other’s dorms because the more the merrier and they share and order food

Yaku and Kai actually like staying in the OWL6 dorms more because its quieter (since Lev and Tora aren’t there) but change their mind when they see Bokuto

Eventually they divided the dorms into ‘the quiet people’ and ‘the noisy people’

Both of the groups love doing those Halloween performances and dressing up really scary with the same level of production and everything

None of those cutesy costumes, Fukunaga will straight up come in a headless man costume and Sarukui brings a fake chainsaw with him

Some of them like to do really weird costumes though like Lev dressing up as a bottle of vodka and Konoha coming in dressed as Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street

Sometimes the fans just don’t know what goes on in their heads

Kai tends to get a lot of awards for his producing skills but the first time he did Stray Cats came onstage with him and basically cried all around him while Kai tried to do his speech

They also like to mess around in the comments section when another group is doing a VLive

For example, Kuroo commented ‘send feet pics’ during one of OWL6’s lives and Bokuto retaliated by uploading the ugly selfies that Kuroo takes on his phone

They also either make up the fanchants or memorize each other’s fanchants for the songs

Yahaba, watching Stray Cats doing the fanchant for OWL6′s song: why can’t we be like that?

Iwaizumi: because we have Oikawa

Oikawa: IT’S NOT MY FAULT IT’S USHIWAKA 

[princecharmingmendes]

Valentine's Day | Shawn Mendes

“Valentine’s Day is always hard for some people that are single, but it’s harder you have a loved one that’s on another country, but lucky you, he always had his ways of making everything better”

Hiiii! I’m going to try to post this weekend other to Valentine’s Day oneshot, but the other two will be  one with Raul and the other with Peter, they’ll all be called the same {Valentine’s Day} and that’s it, hope you guys like it!

                                         Peter  |  Raul (coming soon)

Word Count: 3.7K+

Warnings: cursing, mentions of sex and a lot of fluffy boyfriend material Shawn.

Posted: February 15th, 2020.

                                                        -*-

  You love Shawn with every single cell in your body. I mean, how could you not? He’s everything anyone could possibly ever want. He’s the kindest, sweetest and most loving person you’ve ever met, he would literally run a marathon barefoot just to put a smile on your face and he would say that to anyone who was close enough to hear it. You’ve met him three years ago and been together practically all these time. You two met at a common friend’s birthday party and he couldn’t stop talking to you or trying so ridiculously hard to make you giggle just to hear it, at the end of the night, you had a date on the next day. And you couldn’t stop seeing him ever since and it was magical, for the first two months.

I mean, not that he changed or something, he’s still the same doofus cheesy 6’3 guy I fell for, it’s just that he’s not just Shawn, he’s Shawn fucking Mendes, a sweetheart with two identical brothers and a rockstar for a living.

The only thing that makes it hard is when he’s away. He tries his best to compensate with FaceTime calls and sending me surprise gifts and stuff, but that doesn’t make things easier. He also suffers from it, even though he doesn’t want me to see that or to think that, I know he does, his parents and friends told me that sometimes it gets harder for him and he just spends the hold day in a bad mood. But still, whenever he’s back from the road, everything’s better and it’s lime he never left. He clings to me like a giant teddy bear and follows me around like a lost puppy and I’d do anything he asks me with those hazel orbits and when he holds me, I just know things are going to be okay.

But right now, things don’t seem to be okay. 

I mean, between us, things are great, he’s been as present as he could as he was working his ass off in LA on his next album. But on the rest, it was all just a big mess. My parents are constantly screaming at each other due to a family thing on dad’s side, my brother left the house for college recently and wasn’t actually talking to anyone and work and college were trying to kill me, and the cherry on top was this  stupid project I had to finish and publish that was a huge part of my final grade. Everything’s falling apart and I haven’t been able to talk to my boyfriend for real for like, two days. I know it’s ridiculous, but I needed so bad just to hear him saying “you’re going to be okay, honey, you’re the smartest person I know”. But I can’t call him and stuff his head with my shitty problems, I don’t want to keep his mind away from his work. So I called his brothers instead.

Peter told me he could stop by at the end of the night if I felt like I needed help, and Raul offered to take me out to dinner to relax a bit since I’ve been going mad over this. And I love them for trying, but it’s simply not the same thing. So that’s why I’m sitting in Shawn’s living room (since he asked me to move in the past month and I did) surrounded by papers, textbooks and my computer on my lap, running my temples and trying to get some work going when my phone started ringing and my computer screen stopped working, Shawn’s face appeared all over it as he called me on FaceTime.

“Hey” I said as soon as I picked it up.

“Hey, baby, God, I missed your pretty face”

“You called me two days ago, weirdo”

“Still missed you tough”

“Okay, so... what’s up?”

“Hm, nothing, just got back to the apartment and I’m so tired and I miss you”

“I miss you too, kinda wish you were here”

“I’ll be back soon, I promise”

“I know” I said sighing and placing a few strands that fell of my messy bun behind my ear.

“What are you doing?”

“Just some stupid project”

“Apparently not that nice”

“No, it sucks, I have to submit it until noon”

“Tomorrow?”

“Uh, yeah”

“Oh shit, am I interrupting? Shit, I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t even considered the possibility of you being busy or something, I just needed to see you”

“No, hey, it’s okay, I was about to take a break, it’s okay”

“Sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, bubs, it’s okay”

“Okay, so what are you doing tomorrow after submitting it?”

“I’m gonna go grab lunch with Peter and then work, probably later than I should, but you know my boss and his lovely situation with his ex, so he’ll probably keep us late due to Valentine’s Day to keep his mind busy, but after that, Raul is coming over for dinner since he’s single and you’re not here, Pete’s got a date”

“With that girl he likes?”

“Yeah, that’s the one”

“I think he’ll actually have something with her”

“So do I! He’s very happy whenever he talks to her or about her”

“He’s Peter”

“That’s true, what about you?”

“Me? Oh, just work stuff, I was curious about you to see if I could call you or something, but you seem to have way to many plans”

“No, you can call me after I leave work, I can text you, letting you know when I park or leave work so you can call me, Raul wouldn’t mind”

“I doubt that, but I don’t really care about what he thinks about it, text me when you leave work and I’ll call you”

“Okay, any new songs to show me?”

“Not yet, I want you to see only the finished product”

“Boring”

“You still love me” he sang song and I couldn’t stop myself from giggling at his boyish side.

“Bubs, I’m so sorry, but I gotta hang up, Kate’s calling me to help out with a thing I’m struggling with” I said sighing as my phone started ringing again.

“Hey, it’s okay, I should probably try to get some sleep, I have to be up early due to a meeting”

“Yeah, so should I but... Not finished, no sleeping” I said motioning to the paper on my lap.

“You should really try to sleep, honey, it’s late and I’m pretty sure the project is practically done, you’re just attached to details”

“Oh, you know me so well”

“Of course I do, I’m your boyfriend after all”

“That’s true, okay, I really gotta go now, Shawn, I’m so sorry”

“Don’t apologize, there’s nothing wrong, now stop worrying, add your finishing touches and go to bed”

“Okay, sir, goodnight”

“Goodnight, baby, I love you” he said chuckling.

“I love you too” I said smiling at the camera before hanging up, trying to call Kate back to get some help with some of the things I was not happy about before I could fall asleep.

                                                       -*-

Waking up on the other day was torturous since of the lack of sleep, but stepping outside was worse. I don’t get bitter on seeing other people happy, I really don’t, but seeing couples with flowers and holding hands broke my heart into a million pieces, because that was just a reminder that I wasn’t going to see Shawn for another week, which meant he was away for a month already. And it was everywhere.

When I was able to just hand my teachers a copy of the project and leave, it was like a thousand pounds left my shoulders and I could finally breath again, so I fished my phone from my pocket to text Shawn, but finding out he had already texted me early in the morning. This paper was eating me alive and I didn’t even noticed ‘till now.

“Hey, can you talk?” I said as soon as Shawn picked up the phone.

“Yeah, anything wrong?”

“No, everything went smooth apparently, I just left college and I’m going to meet up with Pete now”

“That’s great! Are you feeling better now?”

“So much better, I just called you to thank you for... I don’t know, being so supportive, I guess, and for texting me ‘good luck’ this morning”

“Oh, sure, that’s my job!”

“No it’s not, you’re just perfect and I fucking love you”

“Love you too, baby, but I gotta run now, I’m sorry”

“No, it’s okay, I’m sorry, I won’t hold you back”

“You don’t, relax for a bit, and thank you for calling me, I love hearing your voice, and soon I’ll hear it again personally”

“You’re too cheesy for your own goo, Mendes, goodbye” I said and I head his laugh through the phone, making me smile almost instantaneously.

“Bye, honey” he said hanging up.

                                                       -*-

The rest of the day was fine. Lunch with Peter is always amazing, he always now crazy and random facts about everything and he is way too sweet. Going to work sucked a bit cause my boss was being a bitch the whole day and just finding flaws were there weren’t any, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. When I left, I went to a grocery shop to buy some stuff for my dinner with Raul that he asked and sent a message to Shawn telling him I was going to be home in thirty minutes, and he replied with a simple ‘kay, baby, talk to you later’, which I found weird but tried not to read too much into it. He was probably busy anyways.

But what sucked was parking at the garage and calling Raul, only to find out he was not going to make it.

“Hey, Raul, I just got home and I can start the food if you want”

“Oh shit, I completely forgot to tell you”

“Tell me what?”

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Y/N, but this kid come into work today and his situation is pretty bad, I can’t leave him alone, I’m so damn sorry, I... shit, I don’t even know what to say!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s not your fault and I’m not mad, you’re not bailing to go drink or something, you’re working and saving a child’s life, Raul, chill, dude, I’m not mad!”

“Thank you so much, you’re the best, I gotta go now, Y/N, again, I’m so incredibly sorry, thank you so much, bye” he said hanging up.

“Bye” I said into the empty lot and opening the door to grab my bags.

I pressed the button of the elevator and got in, holding the bags with one hand to text Shawn with the other one a quick ‘hey, Raul’s not coming, I’m at the elevator, you can call me anytime you can now xx’. When I got to my floor, my phone started ringing and it was Kate calling, so I picked it up.

“Hey, Y/N, are you busy?”

“No, it’s okay, how are you? By the way, thank you so much for the help yesterday, I really appreciate it” I said as I placed the phone between my cheek/ear and my shoulder to fish the keys in my bag.

“Oh, I’m fine, thanks, so... I’m calling you exactly because of the project”

“Oh really” I felt my heart going to a stop “something wrong?”

“The only think wrong with your project is in your extremely perfectionist brain, dummy”

“What do you mean, Kate?” I said finally being able to place the key on the lock and turn it.

“Bitch, you got an A, YOU GOT AN A, do you know what that means?! Your project is perfect! You don’t even need to do the test if you don’t want to! God, I hate you so much right now”

“Holy shit, Kate! Are you kidding me?! How do you know that?!”

“Mr. Saltzman just published the grades”

“I can’t believe it!”

“I know! And you know what happens to people who get an A on this thing?! YOUR ARTICLE IS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED! I’m so damn proud of you”

“I can’t believe it” I said finally getting out of my trance with a wide smile on my face as I got into the condo, closing the door right behind me, still trying to balance everything I was holding and lock the damn door.

“I know, I mean...”

“Wait a second, Kate” I interrupted her as soon as I heard a noise coming from the empty apartment “I think I heard something.

“Is everything okay? Where are you?”

“I just got home and I heard something, but the door was locked, so I don’t know, it’s probably nothing, I’m just overreacting” I said as I paced to the kitchen to get rid of the grocery bags, my heels echoing on the empty rooms.

“Are you sure? Do you want me to come over?”

“No, it’s oka... shit” I said as I almost dropped my phone and I suddenly felt the bags being pulled from my arms  from behind, I was at the verge of losing my shit when I saw his reflex on the big window on his kitchen

Standing behind me was the 6’3 rockstar teddy bear that I got to call mine holding the bags that were almost falling from my arms for me as I just stared at him completely shocked. He just grinned at me through the reflection and I almost lost it, but kept frozen in place.

“Y/N? What’s going on?” Kate’s voice sounded clear now through the phone.

“Oh shit, sorry, Kate, I almost dropped my phone and I... I gotta go, I just found out Shawn’s home, I, I’ll talk to you later, bye” I said as I hung up, turning around in shock as I stared at him.

“Hi” he said barely louder then a whisper, placing the bags on the counter and picking up the bouquet of tulips that he picked up from the counter.

I couldn’t even understand what was happening, but my body decided to take the natural lead and jump on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face on his neck. He quickly wrapped his arms around me to keep me off the ground and in his embrace. I wrapped my legs around his torso and just took my time to process the information that he was actually here, with me. When I finally pulled back from his neck, I could only stare at his eyes that were already on me, with a look of pure love and adoration, so I just did what felt right, I crashed my lips on his. And all was right in the world again. The kiss was so passionate and so in sync that only made the fuzzy warm feeling I always have when I’m around him intensify a million times. I only noticed that I was crying when I felt his hand coming up to caress my cheek softly while his other arm kept me tightly in place.

“What the hell, Shawn?” I asked as soon as I pulled back for air.

“Hi, lover, I love you too and missed you lots”

“You do know I love you and you also know I missed you so bad, but what the hell? Weren’t you supposed to come home only in a week?”

“Well, that’s what everybody told you cause I asked them, you really thought I was going to leave you here alone in Valentine’s Day?!”

“Wait a second, Mendes, everybody knew you’re coming home today?!”

“Uh yeah?”

“So Raul wasn’t going to be with me at all?!”

“Nope” he said popping the ‘P’.

“Did he lie to me about being at work?”

“No, but he also never cancelled his shift today to be with you”

“So why the heck did he sent me grocery... is that why I have all the ingredients for chocolate chip muffins?!”

“Uh, maybe?” Shawn said with a sheepish smile on his face “don’t get mad at me, I wanted to surprise you”

“Mad at you? How could I be mad at you, bubs?”

“I don’t know, I can do some pretty stupid things”

“That’s true”

“Outch, you weren’t supposed to agree to that”

“Sorry, but I thought we didn’t lie to each other”

“Okay, I’m going back to LA” he said threatening to let me go.

“No! I’m kidding, I love you and you know I can never get mad at you, cause even though you make same stupid things, they’re never harmful and always innocent, so no, I’m not mad at you”

“Good, cause I have a whole night planned”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t like to go out, so I grabbed your favorite Italian dish, you bought the wine, I’ve set up our room, we can take a bath and then cuddle while we watch Harry Potter or Grey’s Anatomy and eat our food, then we’ll go to bed and I’ll cuddle the fuck out of you”

“You’re so weird, dude” I said and he chuckled, placing me on the ground again, but still not letting go of me.

“Yeah? Then why are still with me?”

“Because you’re the Shawn Mendes” I said and he laughed holding me tighter.

“Is that all?”

“Well, pretty much, of course, you’re pretty and stuff, but yeah, your career is all that matters to me”

“Thought it was my bank account... so if I go ugly and my voice disappears you’ll dump me?”

“Obviously” I said tapping his strong chest playfully and he held my wrists, bringing my hands up to kiss they’re back, so I took the opportunity to cup his jaw gently “but for real now, I don’t care if you loose your career, bank account and all your hair, it wouldn’t change a thing for me. Of course it’s amazing to be dating someone who gets to play in sold out arenas and travel around the world with a guitar case in his hands, you’re really talented and I’ve told you a million times that you always mesmerize me with everything you put on, you’re fascinating for sure”

“Thank you” he mouthed in the middle of my speech and I couldn’t contain myself from standing on the tippy toes of my shoes to place a sweet peck on his lips.

“Where was I?” I asked as soon as I pulled away “oh yeah, but honestly? That’s not what’s best about you. You’ve got the kindest soul I’ve ever met, you’re so caring and loving, you always put everyone that matters first and always makes me feel special, even on the toughest days, you do not measure consequences when it comes to pleasing someone you love and also, you’re the best person I’ve ever met and I’m so lucky to able to call you love of my life, I love you, Shawn Mendes, not only for the fame and the amazing...”

“...sex?” he suggested with a smirk on his face.

“Well, no, but that’s actually right as well. Anyone, and the amazing music you make, but for the real Shawn, the guy the grew up in Pickering and that watches rom-coms for a living” I said and he smiled softly, attaching his lips to mine again in a sweet kiss.

“I was the one supposed to make you a speech, I was not expecting that but thank you” he said kissing my forehead “ and also, thank you for being patient with me and allowing this relationship to work out”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything” I said softly as I caressed his cheek with my thumb “thank YOU, Shawn”

He smiled down at me and kissed me again, this time, deepening the kiss faster than before, quickly grabbing the back of my thighs and picking me up as he licked into my mouth, making my head go dizzy with the sensations.

                                                       -*-

After the bath, pretend to watch whatever we picked to put on the TV while we made up for the lost time on his couch and then ate or food to recover, we finally decided to head back to our room, cause after all, he got on a plane today to see me and my work was exhausting. We were laying in bed, Shawn in his underwear, and me in only his shirt laying half on top of him. He was gently running his fingers through my hair as I drew mindless circles on his bare abs, minds far away as we laid close just enjoying each other’s warmth and company.

“I forgot to get your present, it’s on my suitcase” he said more to himself then to me.

“You shouldn’t have”

“Ooh, shush, I like to buy you presents and spoil you, and you never allow me to do so, I just have to grab every opportunity I have”

“Fair enough, yours are on the closet”

“We can do that tomorrow when I’m making you breakfast”

“You?”

“Yeah, learned how to do pancakes!”

“Really?! I’m so proud of you, bubs” I said and he smiled, kissing my forehead.

“Thank you”

“Hey, Shawn” I said lowly after a while, breaking the silence again “thank you so much for coming home and doing all of this, it means the world to me, every single detail was perfect, and I can’t believe you actually bought me tulips! They mean...”

“They mean ���declaration of love’” he said complementing what I was going to say “yeah, I know, Peter helped out on that one, not gonna lie”

“Just the fact that you took your time on asking what each flower meant it’s enough to make me love you even more” I said pecking his soft lips delicately.

“You should sleep, honey, you seemed tired when you arrived”

“I am”

“So sleep, I’ll still be home when you wake up”

“Do you promise?” I asked nuzzling my face further on his collarbone.

“I promise” he said softly “I promise I’ll always come home to you, happy valentine’s day, honey” were the last words I heard before I drifted off to dreamland, in the arms of the man I love with every single cell of my body.

                                                       -*-

Happy belated Valentine's Day!

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, I had to finish this in rush to post it on time.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

... : @fivefeetapartt