#warming up with a little pet attack! i like doing these theyre fun and a good way to get in the zone

[bmpmp3]

attack of Atlas for Roniver!! funy dogy

[lolothesilly]

OUGH so i just typed out a bunch of fun facts about leeches....

tw for discussion of blood, disease transmission, & animal defecation!

most species of leech dont feed on humans, they tend to be very specialized to feed on a specific animal (often fish and amphibians!)

some leeches dont drink blood at all & instead are carnivores eating things like earthworms or slugs!!

its not very likely to get a serious illness from a leech even in the wild because of the way their mouthparts work, the most likely way to get a bloodborne disease from a leech is actually to grab it and yank it off bc that may make it regurgitate the blood in its tummy out of stress!! it is however entirely possible for the bite itself to get infected bc wild leeches tend to live in pond or swamp water which isnt known for being sanitary lol, so if you are bitten by a wild leech definitely clean the wound as best you can, apply pressure, and seek medical assistance just in case!!

the best way to remove a leech is to run your fingernail (or a credit card or similar thin sturdy water-resistant material) under the edge of its face, bc it latches on using a suction cup (like an octopus! there's a suction cup on its face & one on the end of its tail! the face is on the narrower end btw, the fat end is its big ol butt <3) so if you gently break the suction seal it'll just fall off!

leech "bites" can bleed a lot bc their saliva has anticoagulant properties, so leeches are the most dangerous to ppl who have hemophilia or another bleeding disorder!!

leeches dont really have fangs, they have a tiny Y-shaped jaw with microscopic "teeth", almost like a weird little saw, and they use that to break the skin & use their suction cup to latch onto the tiny wound and just sort of free-feed as the blood flows out!!

they also dont drink a huge amount of blood tbh, especially if its just one of them (though they do tend to live in large groups), but the anticoagulant can cause you to bleed (not gushing, more like a steady leak?) for hours after the leech lets go, so its good to apply pressure with clean bandages after being bit!!

leeches are used in medicine to this day!!

you can also keep them as pets, theyre one of the few truly low-maintenance animals, they just need dechlorinated water, some gravel (for rubbing against to help shed their skin), a hidey hole or two, & for their water to be cleaned every so often!! they can live in surprisingly small enclosures, but it definitely doesnt hurt to give them space to explore :) they do also prefer darkness though, so its best to make sure they're shaded from any bright lights or windows!!

leeches like to live with other leeches!!! they will actually curl up together and at least one study has shown that they release oxytocin when "cuddling" with each other (the same brain chemical that's released when, for example, a mother cuddles her baby!!)

its generally ok to keep leeches of the same species together, they arent likely to attack each other unless one of them is full of warm blood & another is hungry!! this is why its best to feed your leeches around the same time & if one refuses to eat, keep it in a separate tank from the ones that have eaten until the full ones defecate and/or the empty one eats!!

adult Hirudo verbana (the modern "medicinal leech" bc the similar, historically used Hirudo medicinalis is endangered) can feed as infrequently as once or twice a year!! they'll digest their meal over a long period of time and (if i recall correctly?) tend to defecate it all at once!! it'll be pretty obvious when your leech does a poop (they'll release dark fluid into the water, this is just whats left of the blood once it nutrients have been absorbed) so clean their water as soon as you notice that xP

some leech owners feed them their own blood, but others will buy unsalted (important!! salt can kill them!!) pork blood from butchers or some deli markets, put that blood in a plastic bag or sausage casing, and warm it up in a bowl of warm water & let the leeches feed on that!!

Hirudo verbana are more colorful than you might think! they have patterns along their back in varying shades of orange, dark green, and brown, while their bellies are a lighter tan color!!

ok ill stop now hehe >w<

[pokebonkus]

OKAY SO

pokebonkus' pokemon time,

thisll be a long ass post so buckle in babes

First off is Cirus, my lucario, male. hes my absolute baby, my unit of a man, hes about 4' something and hes an absolute dumbass <3 he likes to snuggle and if i dont give him enough attention hell shove his snoot under my arm to get pettins. hes my first pokemon and i got him as a riolu

Sylveon, male - who im slowly giving the new nickname Snorple! - is a little bastard, but i adore him to no end. sometimes hell stand over my chest and stare down at me like hes plotting my ultimate demise. he also occasionally just palps people with his ribbons and its kinda funny cuz ill be minding my own business and suddenly my face is palped by soft fuzzy tentacles. Did you know theyre carnivores?

Manchester, a little male wooper i got from my brother (he got him from a random pokemon trade), is just a funky little dude. he sometimes just. gums on my hand. which is really weird but also cute. they have small teeth so his chompins dont hurt *too* much unless he gets too excited

Theres FEESH, who's a male clodsire (also from my brother). hes basically bonded with manchester and parents him. its super cute because hell let manchester bite on his little stumpy leggies and its so sweet, theyre also almost always cuddling

Geebole, my female garchomp, is basically my #1 pokemon, her and cirus come with me everywhere, and were working on getting both of them registered as service pokemon! theyre wonderful, and thankfully geebole has sand veil instead of rough skin so shes easier to pet! i got her as a baby gibble too <3 hence her name lol

Psybeam, male dusk lycanroc. i caught him as a regular ol'e rockruff, and as he got older he got a bit more aggresive and bitey. i was expecting him to end up evolving one night, but no! he evolved at like. 5pm on a tuesday and now hes my lovely orange baby! hes named after the move he apparently knows, psybeam, which i didnt know rockruffs could learn!

Hydreigon, they dont respond to any gendered term so i call them Big Bastard. still unnamed other than that, lol. took a lot of training and a lot of repairs to my parents house to get them to not be so bitey and destructive as a hydreigon, but thats why i started working with them early as a deino! honestly at this point theyre fairly sweet, despite the species reputation. theyre a bit tempermental though, and i have to make sure i have PLENTY of chew toys and things they can tear appart else they'll use my matress or something instead. i dont want to have to replace the tv again 😔

skeeby, female arcanine. fun fact, her tera is rock, which is kinda cool! i dont remember how i learned this, lmao. but anyway, when i caught her, she was a growlithe and she deadass attacked me the second i made eye contact. immediately ran and full blown tackled me before i could react lmao, but hey now shes my big ole warm ass cuddlebug! shes a fucking space heater and i love cuddling her on cold winters

Beef Jerky, female volcarona. not a whole lot to say about her, she has -3 braincells but keeps me nice and toasty :) shes also very good at scaring the shit out of me because she learned how to play dead (thank my brother...) and so shell occasionally just Do That with minimal prompting and ill walk out of my room and have a heart attack cause shes on the floor upside down. fucking bastard bug (beloved)

Minior!! Literally JUST got them (as of editing the post), they are so ROUND and shaped and YELLOW!!!!!! god my little beloved right here. not much is known about them yet, but i got them from @teambloodmoonofficial :)

These are just my non-shinies so far! and ill be sure to update with the other non shinies i inevitably get. ill reblog with my shinies, cause i dont *really* want this to drag on forever in just one basic post lmao

[daydreamingintheimpalax]

Four No’s and a Yes.

Prompt: Write about someone who gets proposed to five times on Christmas Eve.

Warnings: None, cuteness, fluff i guess lol

Dean x Reader (Childhood friends)

Chritsmas Eve 2016.

The Y/L/N’s house was decorated to the T, Mrs. Y/L/N always went all out for Christmas and to say Dean loved it was an understatement. Dean had grown up next door to y/n and her family all his life, every Christmas was spent with his best friend and her family, their families took turns every year on which family would host the big Christmas dinner. It was Christmas eve, this year, Y/n’s family was hosting Christmas Eve and Day. 

He watched as you sat down across from him, the same way you did every year, this time your boyfriend of almost a year sitting next to you. Dean frowned but for the most part accepted him and tried to make Carl as welcome as possible. 

It’s not that he disliked the guys she dated, he just never thought they were good enough for his best friend, it had nothing to do with the fact he’d been inlove wih you almost all his life, despite what Sam and his parents had to say about it. 

The meal conversations began, Dean smiled as he watched Sam’s wife wipe a smudge of food off his brothers face before then placing a small peck on his cheek. He was imsensely happy for his little brother, he had tried to find love himself but despite all the girls that came and went, none were ever good enough to bring home to Mary and John, none ever compared to, well, you. 

“So Dee, any news about that girl you took out last week? She seemed nice.” You ask, shoving a fork of ham into your mouth, he chuckles watching before he replies, “uh no, didn’t pan out, first date and she was already naming our kids.” He shakes his head, cringing. Y/N makes a funny grossed out face, “Yikes, stage 5 clinger”, Dean smirks, “Exactly, not my style, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?” Carl pipes up, raising an eyebrow at Dean. Right, Carl hated when Dean called you by a pet name, sucks for him doesn’t it. Dean shrugs, y/n reassures him its just for fun, that they’ve been friends forever and Dean’s the only other man allowed to call her that. Carl doesn’t seem happy but strugs it off. 

It’s almost 9 Pm when Carl speaks, he stands up from the tables, everyone having had a few rounds of wine by now and 50 conversations going on at once. He clears his troat, tapping his champagne glass with his fork, everyone stops, their attention on him. 

“Well, this has been an amazing night, y/n your family is incredible, i’m so happy to have shared this holiday with you all, but tonight, i want to share another moment with you guys, i know how important family is to y/n and i want to make sure i do this right.” He pauses, grabbing y/n’s hand and pulling her up, Dean can see the look on her face, shes shocked and confused, not sure what the hell Carl thinks he’s doing. 

He pulls something out of his pocket, Dean lets out a soft groan before taking a huge chug of his beer, Sam pats his back, a silent signal asking if he’s okay. He shrugs it off. 

“Y/n, i know we haven’t been together as long as other people, but my love for you has no limits, we are a perfect match and you’re a perfect part of me, you make me better, i love you so much, and i don’t want to waste anymore time,” 

He gets down on one knee, Dean watches, slightly angrily as y/n gasps, she slightly looks at Dean and he can see the panicked look on her face, she’s not ready for this, he’s ambushed her. 

“Y/n Y/l/n, would you do me the honor of being my wife, my partner in crime, my forever.” Dean rolls his eyes, his mother swatting his arm and giving him a disapproving look. Y/n stays silent, looking around as everyone watches her, Then, she bolts. 

Dean chases after her to see if she’s okay. 

Carl was never seen again after that night.

Christmas Eve 2017

Christmas was different this year, Their parents had decided they wanted a break from cooking, so they had booked a cruise for vacation, not telling any of their kids until last minute. 

Sam and Jess had decided to have Christmas with her family now that they were expecting their first child. Sam was over the moon at the chance to be a dad, he was going to be an amazing one. 

Dean checks the tickets, finding the seats and throwing the jackets over them, y/n heads towards him, sitting next to him in her own seat and she hands him his beer and the hotdogs she grabbed. Dean was lucky he booked last minute tickets to the wrestling match, not surprised that even on Christmas eve, the stadium was booked solid. 

They enjoy the fights, they’re small local fights, no big names, but they both enjoy it, laughing and enjoying their time together as best friends, it’s been a while. Since she started dating Max four months ago, he barely sees her, he’s insecure, especially when Dean’s around, probably because Dean’s twice his size in height and muscle, but that’s not his problem. Max starts fights with y/n anytime they hang out, so for her sake, he keeps his distance, waiting for her to call him for a hangout instead. 

An hour in and it’s break time, they sit and chat, and before they know it, a voice is speaking over the PA system. “Sorry to interupt everyone, but since we are on a break, it seems like the perfect time to do this. Y/n Y/l/N, if you wouldn’t mind looking up at the jumbotron, we have a message for you from Max.” 

Y/n’s eyes go wide, she looks at Dean curiously and he shrugs, just as confused. She looks at the screen, Max’s smiling face on the screen as he’s handed the microphone. 

“Y/n, i know this is random and out of the blue, but you make me really happy, i know you’re not big on attention and big romantic gestures, but i wanted to do something memorable, so, i was hoping you’d be down for being my wife, will you Marry me?” he speaks, Dean almost can’t believe it, what was with these losers, she deserved to be proposed to, but not so soon and definitely not on the spot, she hated grand gestures that drew attention to her. Y/n barely knew what she wanted to do with her life, let alone to settle down. 

Y/N starts breathing heavy, tears forming as she starts to panic at the whole stadium now staring at her and waiting for her answer, and just like that, yet again, she tries to run but Dean stops her, suggesting they go outside and talk to Max privately before she has a complete anxiety attack.

Another douchebag he never sees again. 

Christmas Eve 2018

Another year, another Christmas Eve, y/n is sitting on Deans couch, the two of them got stuck at the airport due to a snow storm and aren’t making it home for Christmas. They had driven back to Dean’s place and she decided to crash with him, She’d just broken up with her recent douchebag boyfriend and wasn’t in happy spirits. She lies on his couch, sniffling as she watches her favoirte Christmas movie, which is currently everything on the hallmark channel. 

Dean sits next to her, her feet in his lap as he messages her feet, warming them up from the cold. 

“Am i ever going to find the right guy? i mean, at this point it’s become a pattern, every fucking Christmas i end up single and alone, i should just give up finding the perfect guy.” She shrugs, wiping away a stray tear.

Dean sighs, “First off, you’re not alone, you have me. Second, you pick crappy guys, you have shitty ass taste. Give it time, sweetheart, the perfect guy for you is out there, and you’ll find him, you’re just looking in the wrong places.” Dean assures her and she gives him a dry chuckle.

“Oh yea, well if you ever come across prince charming, send him my way.” She rolls her eyes and he laughs. He hates seeing her upset. 

Theyre at the local skating rink when it happens, he finally got her to stop crying enough to take her out and here comes Jack, Jake, Joke, whatever the fuck his name was holding a bouquet of roses and a ring box, smiling widely at her, this jackass really thinks a ring will fix everything he’s done to her. What a damn clown. 

Y/n stops abrutly, eyeing him up and down, she’s definitely angry still. 

“That better not be what the fuck i think it is.” She snaps, tossing the roses in the trash. “Y/n, i know i fucked up, but you’re worth more than-” He’s cut off by the sound of her hand meeting his cheek. 

“NO!” She shouts, a few people now stopping to watch. “You have some NERVE showing up here, after cheating on me and for what? to propose? ARE YOU FUCKING DRUNK? In what fucking small minded universe that you live in do you think proposing to me is going to fix what you broke? No, i will not marry you. Go to hell, Jeff.” She stomps off, as good as she can in skates. 

Jeff, that’s his fucking name. He looks over at me and i shrug. “You fucked that up on your own man, you don’t deserve her.” Dean walks away.

She never mentions Jeff again.

Christmas Eve 2019

Their families get together again, Dean’s family hosts this year, y/n and he had flown home early this year to help with the food and decorations, y/n had run into one of her exes, a guy she dated back in highschool, He’d ran in Sam’s circle of friends, one of his old football buddies. They had gone on a date to catch up, ending up at the local bar with some old highschool friends.

Sam sits next to him, downing his own beer. “Man, why don’t you just tell her you’re her prince charming, watching her get with and dump all these idiots is getting tiring. Even mom and dad know you two belong together.” Sam chuckles, letting out a burp, he’s clearly borderlining between drunk and tipsy. Dean sighs, he’s going to have to call Jessica soon. 

“If i was her soulmate, she’d have noticed by now. I’m not going to make that choice for her. If it’s meant to be, she’ll realize it on her own, not because i forced her to like me.” He shrugs and Sam laughs, “You’re both so stupid.” Sam huffs and shakes his head. 

Before Sam can continue pestering him about his failure to woo Y/n, they hear a commotion, they turn to see Eric covered in beer, calling y/n a bitch and some other not nice words. 

Dean gets protective, not even a split second before he’s standing next to her, shoving Eric away from her. “Easy man, get away from her.” He yells and Eric huffs, throwing his arms in the air, “Whatever, you’re a waste of time, can’t believe i ever dated you, i forgot what it was like being with you.” He snarls before stepping outside, no doubt to light up another blunt. 

Dean frowns, “What happened?” he asks and you laugh. “He proposed, said he missed me and regretted ever breaking things off, said he finally realized i was the one that got away.” She airquotes before she sips her beer, huffing, “Turns out, that’s his game, he was hoping if i said yes i’d be over the moon and jump into bed with him again. Ugh, i hate men.” she grunts before walking out, Dean slaps a few bills on her table before going after her, a semi drunk Sam at his side. 

Chritmas Eve 2020

Christmas Eve dinner is a hit. Changing things up, Dean and Y/n had decided to host this year, flying their families out to vancouver. It’s cold and snowy, but makes Christmas actually feel like Christmas, unlike the warm sunny holiday in california, they love it there, but this year, with the snow, it actually feels like a real Christmas. 

They sit out on the back deck, taking a break from the family game night and friendly comeptition and yelling going on inside. Their families are nuts, but it always makes for a great time. 

Dean’s sure he’s ready, she hasn’t dated anyone since the last proposal, and he’s insane, he’s sure of it, he’s sure just like the others, he’ll be turned down, and he’s willing to make an utter fool of himself, but it’s time, he’s waited long enough, he needs her to know, he needs to tell her, he’ll never be able to truly move on and get over her if he doesn’t at least get an answer on wether she feels the same. 

“How long do you think that bingo game is going to last?” She asks, chuckling and she watches their families fight over who had bingo first. 

“Marry me.” He blurts it out without even realizing it. That’s not how he wanted that whole thing to go, he had planned it out, but plans go out the window when you spend time obsessing on things being perfect.

“What?” She’s stunned, but she hasn’t run away yet, and she’s not hyperventilating, that’s a good sign. He begins to babble like a damn idiot.

“I don’t have a ring, or a proper set up like a jumbotron or some shit, and this isn’t even how i planned on this day going, i’m not perfect, and i have my flaws, hell i’m so fucked up i’d be insane to think i even deserve even half your love, but i’m crazy about you, and i have been since 5th grade, when you gave me my first valentines card because no one in class gave me one and then kissed my cheek and told me you’d always be my valentine. I guess, what i’m trying to say is i may not be your prince charming, but you’ve always been my girl, i’ve never chosen anyone but you, and i realize, i don’t ever want anyone, except you.” He finally takes a breath, too scared to make eye contact, and he sighs.

“I know this is stupid and random and you can totally say no or run away if th-” 

“Yes.” She stuns him, completely silencing his rant.

He finally meets her eyes, “What?” He asks, sure as shit he heard her wrong. 

“Yes, Winchester, i’ll marry you.” She says, this time clear as day. 

He huffs out a laugh, “ Wait, seriously?” he asks, stunned and still thinking she has to be fucking with him.

She shrugs and smiles, “Yeah, I’ve known you all my life, you were always my prince charming, my perfect match, i was just waiting for you to figure it out.” She laughs. Dean’s eyes roam her face, for the first time, seeing how perfect she really is for him. 

“I literally could have been with you this entire time?” he raises and eyebrow and she shrugs, smiling. He shakes his head, not believing his own stupidity before he takes full advatnge, leaning in and finally claiming what’s been his this entire time. 

Safe to say, that was the last proposal she ever recieved. 

[tally-kiza]

Red melted into the comfortably worn couch, settling down for a quick catnap, Doomfanger nestled beside him. The sun’s warm rays shone down on him through the window. Breath slowing and fog overtaking his mind, Red silently reveled in the wonderful peace and quie--

“GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU HOODLUMS, BEFORE I BLAST YOUR ASS INTO NEXT THURSDAY!!!”

Ope, Pap’s home. Sans sighed, not reacting otherwise. He’d been hoping for a few more hours minutes of beauty rest. Outside, screeching Papyrus sounds intensified as he stomped towards their average but comfortable house. Red snickered. It wouldn’t be a holiday without his brother yelling at teenagers like a grumpy old man. 

Doomfanger lurched up attentively. She skittered towards the door, meowing loudly.

The door flew open as Pyrus trudged in, grumbling under his breath. Heading straight to the kitchen, he tore off the toilet paper clinging to his uniform, before peeling off the outfit entirely, hard candies colliding with the floor as he shook it out. The tall skeleton shook his body wildly in an effort to dislodge the remaining candies from his bones.

With a long-suffering sigh, he flopped down onto the couch next to his brother. 

Sans smirked. “bad day, bro?”

“Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”

Doomy crawled onto his lap and jackhammer-loud purring could be heard as Pyrus started petting her absentmindedly. 

“jeez, what happened, dude?” The smaller skeleton inquired, eyebrow lifted.

“Neighborhood teenage brats were mocking me. Again! Requesting me to sing sing that insufferable song, you know, the one with the skeleton in the pin-stripe suit. And when I refused, they threw candy and toilet paper on me!” Recounting the events seemed to worsen his mood, foul aura permeating the air around him. “They have no respect nor decorum!!”

A glint appeared in his brothers eyes, “aw, come on, bro. theyre not that bad. dont be such a hallo-weenie about it.”

Pap groaned loudly. “Ugh, that was terrible!”

“eheheheh yeah, but youre smiling.”

“I AM AND I HATE IT!!”

A few long beats of comfortable silence passed.

THUMP!

Both the brothers jolted.

THUMP THUMPTHUMP!

“what the hell?!” Sans growled. They whipped around to see bright white smears sliding down their living room window.

“THOSE FUCKERS ARE EGGING OUR HOUSE!!!” Pyrus barked.

“sonuva--” More growling. “wait here, ill teach the little bitches a lesson.”

The younger brother scoffed. “As if you could fare any better than I did.”

“oh i absolutely will,” was all that Red uttered before lumbering out the door to confront the aggressors. 

- - - - - -

Thump thwack THUMP!!

- - - - - -

Five minutes later, he silently reentered the house, head downturned. Papyrus side-eyed him with obvious satisfaction.

“Hmm? Did you ‘give them a bad time’ as you always say?”

The shorter (and now much messier) skeleton glowered at the other.

“No? Well look who has egg on his face now! Nyeh heH HEH!!” Papyrus cracked.

As his brother cackled at his own pun, Sans balled up his fists. “ohh, youre gonna pay for that, paps.”

Sensing danger, Doomfanger yowled and sprinted away into the other room.

In the blink of an eye, Red tackled his brother off the couch. Rolling around on the floor, the two of them snarled as they wrestled. Wiping one hand on the eggs that coated his jacket, Sans brought it down his brother’s clean shirt.

Pyrus shrieked, “NO! Why did you do that, that’s disgusting!!”

Attempting to writhe away from his brother’s hold proved fruitless as Sans repeated the action. Their tumbling continued, just as rambunctious as before. Just as Pap pulled his brother into a headlock, the shorter one licked his own phalanx and shoved it into the other’s acoustic meatus.

Jerking away and releasing Red, the taller one gagged. “OH MY GOD! Why did you do thattt?!!”

“you were being too sassy. needed to be put in your place,” he quipped.

Pyrus squawked. “PUT IN MY PL-- You know what, never mind, of course you would do something so vile. Either way, I don’t want to hear your excuses! You can’t just give me wet-willies!!”

“i can and i did.” Sans said smugly. “besides, whatre you gonna do about it?”

Unfazed by his brother’s taunts, Pap’s gaze turned vicious and a sly grin overcame his face.

The other’s eyesockets widened in realization. “wai’ wai’ nah, you wouldnt dare...”

His only response was a smirk. In an instant, Fell’s hands were everywhere all at once. Phalanges squirming into Sans’s neck, ribs, knees, causing peels of laughter spill out of the victim him.

Between breaths, he managed to protest though not really meaning it. “wait, shit, stop!”

“Payback, brother!!” Papyrus cried with fiendish glee.

The relentless attack continued, fingers fiercely scribbling over bones. But it wasn’t long before Sans built up enough resilience to return the favor tenfold.

As Pyrus screeched from the counterattack and Sans laughed maniacally, the two of them continued into the night, delinquents long forgotten.

- - - -  - - - -

“BROTHER! Come on out, already!” Papyrus yelled at his brother’s bedroom’s closed door. “Everyone’s waiting!”

“no!!”

“Just get out here, you look fine!!”

“no!!!”

Groaning, Papyrus--now donned in pirate garb--turned towards his guests. Undyne, Alphys, and the new human he adopted mentors, Frisk had come over to go trick-or-treating, a human holiday where they tricked others into giving them free food while they wore the skins of monsters. Highly insensitive and offensive, in the edgy skeleton’s opinion, but Frisk had insisted on everyone participating this year. Which lead them to where they were now.

All of his guests looked increasingly bored as Red stalled for time. Alphys, dressed as a rotting zombie, was watching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie on her phone with Frisk--who dressed up as a blue knight. Meanwhile, Undyne reached the end of her fuse.

“Runt, if you don’t get out here in 30 seconds, I’m kicking your ass into the goddamned CORE!!”

Loud grumbling erupted from Sans’s room. “fine, jeez, whateva’!”

Out of his room slinked Red, wearing a 1920s-style suit, complete with fedora and toy tommy gun. “i look so stupid! why the fuck’s this thing so constricting!”

“You look fine, now lets get this over with!” decreed Papyrus.

Frisk chuckled, “Gotta say, Sans, you look rather gangsta~.”

Undyne groaned as Alphys merely rolled her eyes.

“HUMAN!” Pyrus gasped. “You’ve been corrupted by my brother’s mediocre puns!”

“eheheh nice one, pipsqueak.”

Undyne sighed loudly, “Can we leave now?!”

“and whatre you supposed to be, fishsticks?”

She glared at him before flipping her hair. “A beautiful and seductive siren, duh.”

Her wife blushed as Red surveyed the siren ‘costume’: a ripped up dress ending in a mermaid tail, and stage makeup to make her look more gruesome and bloody than usual.

“meh.”

“YOU MOTHERF--”

Herding all the monsters towards the door, Frisk laughed nervously, “Okay, okay, lets just go already!! Mom and MK are waiting!”

As the monsters begrudgingly assented and journeyed into this Halloween night, no sad times were to be had and all was well.

...

“Hey, dude, you know you got egg on your house??”

“FUCK, I FORGOT--!!!”

fin.

= = = = = = = = = =

a gift for @quezq! this was a lot of fun. bolded lines are prompts from this!

[the-origin-story]

Origin Story Character Text Posts +Cyra, Jean and Kira and The Squad

Kira: Someone: *tries to guilt trip me* Me: the jokes on you!! i feel guilty 97% of the time for Everything I Do!, if i didn't have have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful., please don't flirt with people i secretly like it's rude and disrespectful, i have three moods: fuck off, fuck you, fuck me., im cute and small and ready to brawl, "talk about" hahah, no no, i prefer to internalize all my problems so they eat away at me from inside until im unable to function in any way, no offense @life but can a have a breather...a break...some slack..., yea boys are cute but they disgust me and constantly disappoint me, she's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face, 5'2 but my attitude 6'2, "If I don't have calves of steel or abs of iron by the end of this trip, I'm going to feel so cheated.", "No offense, but I just can't process the fact that someone might actually care about me.", night time would be so beautiful and fun if all men had a curfew. me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism???????? what?????, When a girl says she has experimented with girls, that does not necessarily mean she's bi. She may just be an evil scientist., the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both, list of people i'm going to fight: everyone. put your fists up i'm coming for you, stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical

Jean: i don't have a nervous system. i am a nervous system., pick your battles. pick...fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many., Wakey wakey eggs and social anxiety, enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn't get uncomfortable after 5 minutes, i'm actually pretty cool just me like 5 tries to get it right, i love freckles theyre skin stars, never underestimate my ability to find shit out, "I don't feel that sore right now, but ask me again tomorrow and I'm sure I'll have a more colorful answer for you.", my life is constantly an inner monologue of "why do i do this to myself", 90% of my day is me being nervous., every friend group has the mom friend, if you don't who it is you're it.

Cypress: biology more like BYEology because I'm out, Highest form of art: girls, i don't want to look "pretty" i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening, things that make every video game better: give me nice outfits to wear, let me be gay, give me a pet, yoU THINK YOU'RE REAL CUTE, DON'T YOU???? REAL FUCKING CUTE RIGHT???? i think so to, "Your aim's a little off - now look at that. You just smushed the ant. Now it can't crawl anymore.", appreciation post for broccoli, thanks for being so tasty you tiny trees, there are people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say and do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine, I slept for 8 hours straight and then 2 hours gay, fuck dating girls who are "naturally pretty". date girls who are supernaturally pretty. date a hot ass ghost. date a fucking alien., Current mood: wanting to have a hooded cloak and to be in misty forest., You Want To See Some Goddamn Optimism?, "guys prefer-" that's nice i don't care, how to look cute but like you could kill someone

Liam: ive been annoyed ever since i was born, members of my squad: me, I may seem like an asshole but deep down im a good person and even deeper down im a bigger asshole, I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now, me, introducing myself: it is i, your local asshole, my kink is when everyone shuts the fuck up, *at a job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done in absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man., The worst part about kissing a perfect ten is the cold feeling your lips get from touching the mirror., i don't want a friend w/ benefits i just want the benefits keep your friendship away from me, Ur what we call in the scientific community a "lil bitch", have u ever met the human version of a headache, *barges out of coffin at funeral yelling sike*, i'm permanently emotionally damaged, but its chill, I'm chill, no addressing our problems we downward spiral like men, I'm wasting my youth and beauty being a mysterious eccentric loner and I wouldn't have it any other way, im alive out of spite

Beckett: world's okayest friend, Do you ever look at someone and you're like how, "What are you twelve" Yeah on a scale of one to ten bye, having 3 friends is a lot of work, "Yeah I'm going chug four servings of this entire energy drink so I can crash later and actually get some sleep.", when you see a person smile and it's like...holy shit...what is this magic...please do that again, Stop taking advantage of people with good hearts & who are emotionally vulnerable, "you're so sweet!" thank you i have abandonment issues, IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO KISSES A GIRL ON THE TOP OF THE HEAD WHEN HUG THEM THEN YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT MY FRIEND, beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure, why is everyone so mean. How aren't you tired

Cyra: When a grumbly grump who hates everyone and sees the world as dark and cold and unforgiving loves a sunshiney optimist. When a sunshiney optimist who sees the best in everyone thinks the grumbly grump is the best thing out of the whole beautiful world., do you like sleeping because so do i we should do it together sometime, love yourself so we can have something in common, how many eye contact until date, beING SUPER IN LOVE WITH YOUR FRIENDS BUT IN A FRIEND WAY but also a little bit in a gay way but also in a friEND WAY, anyone have that friend that you REALLY wanna fuck but you're never gonna say anything about it, listen i didn't come here to ship it lightly ok i came here for it to consume my soul, you could take me on a date anywhere and i'd be happy. like it could be the movie theater, or watching a movie at your house. fuck you could take me outside and we could look at clouds and climb trees i do not care as long as we hold hands or something at some point., my mom thought otp meant "oh, the pain." what's the difference., My way of flirting is looking at the person I'm attracted to and hoping they're braver than I am., i;m feeling...what's the word...........gay, I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWN MOUTH Softly Because I like you

Jean and Kira: i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining, does anybody else have that friend that your pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way, friend(jean): fuck off stop punching me me(kira): it's called platonic bdsm, when ur best friend says something weird and ur just like...I love you but what have I gotten myself into with this friendship, do you ever look at your best friend and just "who the hell blessed me with this dork, i am the luckiest loser in the galaxy."

The Squad: "what are the chances of EVERYONE in a friend group being queer" do you realize that we all tend to flock together like penguins huddling for warmth in a cold heteronormative, world right