#wanted to write something and it turned out pretty sad
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𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 ✧ 𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
ꔫ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, canon-ish, fluff
ꔫ Note Happy Holidays everyone! I haven't had much time to write lately since I'm moving. But I wanted to give you guys a little something for the holidays! ଘ( ・ω・)_/゚・:*:・。☆
Gyutaro always hated Christmas.
He's a demon now so it's not like the holiday is meant for him, but even as a human he hated it. The holiday just served as a reminder of everything he never had. Family, gifts, food, love. It just wasn't fair.
After he turned into a demon he took it upon himself to celebrate Christmas in his own special way. Scouting out the rich neighborhoods to find his own Christmas feast.
It was sadistic, but that's Gyutaro's idea of fun. He enjoyed torturing those who were more fortunate than himself, of course. But in a way, he also felt like he was enacting revenge for those who weren't strong enough to do it themselves. All of the orphans and poor children who spent Christmas night out on the cold streets of the entertainment district.
It became a Christmas tradition for Gyutaro. But things changed when he met you.
He first noticed you when he heard your voice through his sister's ears. It sounded heavenly, instantly waking him from his slumber. And by the elegant kimono you wore, he guessed you were just another rich woman. Destined to spend Christmas in some mansion surrounded by loads of gifts. It infuriated him.
So, that year you became his target.
And on Christmas Eve he followed you home, only to see something that surprised him. You weren't rich, no, far from it. You lived in a small home on the outskirts of town. Your home was not decorated in the slightest and you didn't even have a Christmas tree.
"This can't be right... a girl as pretty as her can't spend Christmas alone," he grumbles to himself. He decided to stay and watch you for a while, figuring that you must have a rich boyfriend or something like that.
But no. No one came and you opened no gifts. The pretty girl that Gyutaro was previously jealous of, spent the entire night by herself.
You were the first person to surprise Gyutaro in a very long time. The first person with a beautiful face who didn't have a life to match it. Behind closed doors, you lived a life full of sadness and loneliness. Though at work and in front of others you always wore a smile, never wanting anyone to worry about you.
But you couldn't hide the truth from Gyutaro. He continued to watch you from the shadows even after Christmas had long passed. Stalking you from rooftops, listening to your voice through his sister's ears, watching you up close from her eyes. He actually smiles when you're around.
And when Christmas comes once again he can't help but feel like it's a shame that you don't know about him. That you don't know that there's someone out there who loves you. Someone you've never even met.
A part of him wants to finally reveal himself and confess his feelings. But what if you reject him? What if you're disgusted by his ugliness like everyone else is? He wouldn't be able to go on if something like that happened. Maybe he'd snap and just kill you. He knows himself, and he knows that's something he'd probably do. So instead he decides not to reveal himself for now. However, he still wants to do something for you. Something to let you know that you aren't as alone as you may think.
You got an extra shift at work, hoping to work as much as possible so you could forget what time of year it was. But you had to go home eventually.
You take the alleyways home, wanting to avoid the main streets so you don't have to see the Christmas lights or hear the Christmas carols. You just want December to end already so things can be back to normal. So you don't have to remember the painful memories that this holiday brings.
As you approach your home you immediately notice that something's off. There is a faint glow in your window. But that can't be right. You know you couldn't afford any lights or decorations. And even if you could, you wouldn't have spent any money on them.
Hesitantly, you open the door. And nothing looks out of place or stolen. But there is a small tree in your living room.
It looks like it was torn out of the ground because the roots are still attached and there is frost on its leaves. It's propped half-hazardly against the wall. Sloppily decorated with red ribbons and random trinkets.
On the floor is a single candle, a note, and a crudely-wrapped box.
Did someone seriously break into your home to give you a tree and a Christmas present? This has to be some kind of joke right?
You're skeptical, but you decide to open the note anyways and give it a read.
"Dear Y/N,
You don't know me but I know you. I think you are very pretty. I am always here, even if you don't know it. You aren't as lonely as you think. Merry Christmas.
-Love G"
The handwriting is barely legible and what you can read sounds slightly creepy, like you might have some kind of stalker. But you can tell that whoever did this genuinely cares for you. Creepy or not. And your heart warms up at the thought that someone went out of their way to do this for you.
With teary eyes, you open the gift. Inside the small box is a beautiful bracelet with brilliant emeralds. You've never received such a thoughtful gift.
You hold the bracelet close, clutching it to your chest as tears stream down your cheeks. Overcome with gratitude and appreciation for this person that you don't even know. Yet they were so kind to do this for you anyway. Not even wanting to reveal themselves to receive praise and love, no. They just wanted you to be happy. They couldn't care less if you knew who it was really from. Seeing that smile on your face is more than enough for them.
"Thank you...," you mumble.
You don't receive a response but you can feel that someone is watching from the shadows, with a big toothy grin on his face.
#gyutaro#gyutaro shabana#gyutaro x reader#gyutaro x y/n#gyuutarou#gyuutarou x reader#christmas#merry christmas
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@sapphicmarauding : june 2nd - venus
ship: marylene words: 648 tags: angst, unrequited love
The night sky was painted with thousands of twinkling stars, each one of them a glimmering, silent testament to the infinite wonders of the universe.
Mary and Marlene, side by side, on a blanket under the enormous dark sky. Their gazes fixed upon the celestial canvas towering above them.
Marlene took a deep breath, the air in her lungs filled with a sense of anticipation, as if the universe itself held its breath so that Marlene didn’t have to, waiting for something to slowly unfold.
Something Marlene knew would never happen.
Still, Marlene couldn’t help but steal another glance, and then one more, at Mary and the way her raven curls cascaded down her shoulders, like the waves of the ocean. It had become a routine, by now, Marlene figured.
And yet.
Yet her heart swelled with love so fierce it threatened to consume her entire being.
Again, and again, and again.
Mary, who’s so unaware of Marlene’s affections, and who gazes at the stars with a childlike, innocent fascination, oblivious to the turbulent emotions swirling through Marlene’s body, leaving her cold and then hot all over, a storm that never ceases to pass.
“Look” Mary suddenly whispered, voice laced with wonder, “there’s Venus, the evening star. Isn’t she so bright and beautiful tonight? Doesn’t she remind you of Lily?” Mary asked, still so painfully unaware of Marlene, and so painfully fond of Lily.
Marlene forced herself to tear her eyes away from Mary’s face, before she could read her emotions, and followed her gaze to the radiant planet up in the sky.
She wished she could reach.
Venus, the goddess of love, the celestial embodiment of passion and desire, Venus, oh so beautiful. A cruel coincidence it was, for Venus to remind Mary of Lily. Stirring an even deeper longing in her soul. For Venus to Marlene, was nothing more than a haunting reminder of her unrequited love.
She reminds me of you.
It didn’t matter, in the end. Her love for Mary was always meant to be an ethereal melody trapped within her, a box that could never be opened, a song that yearns to be sung but bound by the chains of love. A solitary tear welled up in Marlene’s eye, in a way mirroring the shimmering stars above. The night sky seemed to taunt her, to conspire against her so cruelly, amplifying her pain as if the universe itself wept for her love.
Deep down Marlene knew love was not always destined to be reciprocated. It could be quiet and private at times, blooming in the shadows and nurtured by stolen glances and whispered dreams. That didn’t make it less beautiful, less honourable.
It didn't make it less painful.
A love so deep, so wild that it yearned to be free, however doomed to remain imprisoned, forever unspoken of.
Mary turned to Marlene, eyes shimmering with excitement and curiosity.
“What are you thinking about, Marls?”
Marlene tried to smile, and not show her heart was breaking with every fibre of her being.
“Oh..just the stars.”
Mary nodded as if in agreement, her gaze lingering on Marlene for a moment longer before returning to the sky. A moment Marlene didn't miss. The words Marlene so desperately wanted to speak remained lodged in her throat however, kept safe by her for a bit longer. Something only for her to know, only for Marlene to cherish.
It was the only way she could bear it.
In the vast expanse of the universe, Marlene's heart still squeezes in anguish sometimes, years later, its silent plea echoing among the stars. The cosmos, indifferent to the human heart and all it desires, carried on over the years, unyielding and relentless. Mary and Marlene, their hearts always entangled in a cosmic dance of love, yet always destined to remain just out of reach.
Marlene is dancing with Dorcas now.
#wanted to write something and it turned out pretty sad#oh well!!#hope you like it<3#sapphic marauders#marylene#on writing#sharing snippets#i mightve over used metaphors for this😭
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I'm out here making RPF OCs you can't even imagine. My mind is open. My spirit is soaring. Haters lament my whimsy and power.
#rpf#oc#Rpf OC#I've had a really bad week#Buffer tags take me to the read more zone#Maybe just one more#Okay here we go#Turns out my grandpa and my dad and probably me all have a rare hereditary leukemia#Killed my grandpa but my dad they caught it before it activated#Going to get checked soon#Uh#Feeling pretty fucked up#Might be why I'm so sick and my blood sucks and does not fuck#Maybe we can do something about it#Hopefully it's not active in me yet#Been trying to comfort my friends and loved ones but#I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know what to do#I feel like I'm going to die#Honestly I want to make out with people and have more sex about it#I'm so scared and sad and I feel so alone because I have to be so brave for everyone around me#I want to be petty and inconsolable and slutty#I just wanted to write books and be a professor#Be a good cree auntie#Adopt some kids from my family who need it#But no#Now I'm the fuck with leukemia#Who knows what I get to do#Who knows when or if it will kill me#If you know me in person and this is how you're finding out I'm so sorry#I've been trying to tell everyone but it's so big and painful
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auauguaughgh assignmence
#i have a thing due tonight that i am nowhere near done with AUGH#literally dont wanna do anything all i want is to sit on my floor and do my cross stitch and listen to rani takes on the world the first 2#were SO GOOD esp the first one the first one was literally Made In A Lab SPECIFICALLY For Me i hope they make more of them please god bc i#want sky to be in it so bad i wanna see what shes up to but idk if anyone ever will bc the webcast is very much considered canon by these#(farewell sarah jane i mean) and that implies that the events of the 3 unmade stories from sja s5 100% still happened and therefore theres#stuff about sky and what her whole Deal is / how it all works that unfortunately exist pretty much exclusively in RTDs head. MADDENING.#like they could be turned into a novel!!! and they havent been!!!! which is GRRR TEARING AND BITING AND RIPPING. WHY ISNT IT A NOVEL 😭#PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU esp cause the trickster was in it and its like god..... obviously makes sense why they didnt make those episodes but#they could have at least done a novel or something with them & its like AUGH bc idk if anyone is gonna write sky now which is SUCH a shame#i liked sky its so sad that we never got more of her and luke together and its really not clear what shes supposed to be doing Now and its#like nooooooooo. anyway i forgor what was the point of this post. oh right. assignment AUAUUAGHUGHHHH#ari opinion hour#also i forgot my headphones bc i use the cord from them to connect my cd player to a speaker so i took them out of my backpack and NOOOO#need those to actually do work efficiently
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from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter 🙏
“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”
that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.
you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.
you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.
hey, honey!!
it first reads.
I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.
you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.
first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!
you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.
what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.
“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”
“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.
“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”
you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.
second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.
your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.
it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’
no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.
you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.
it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.
he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.
third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.
at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.
it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.
satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.
“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”
“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”
you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”
“we could both stay!”
“you’re kidding, right?”
“I already told yaga; I miss you!”
you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.
fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.
a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.
add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.
you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.
“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”
“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”
“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”
you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.
he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.
then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.
fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.
you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.
your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.
“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.
“three am thoughts?”
“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”
you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”
he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”
I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?
your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.
the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.
“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.
megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”
“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”
the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”
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heyyyyy
could you do a Tommy shelby fic?
in which he fucks Ada's bestfriend when she is 18!
hii, love this idea xx I have been writing this all day, time to celebrate with a jam sandwich:) xx
Finally mine
warning: agegap!, Thomas lusts after her while she is underage, grooming, virginity loss, virginity kink, innocence kink, unprotected sex, Tommy being a softie, possessiveness
pairing: Thomas Shelby x Innocent!Reader
summary: ever since he came back from the war, Tommy found himself wanting his sister’s lovely and sweet best friend, too bad he has to wait until she is 18
(Y/N) was the sweetest girl in the whole of Birmingham, always polite and kind. Thomas was smitten with her from day one. She and Ada met in school, she felt sorry that Ada was always alone, because everyone told their kids to stay away from the filthy Shelby’s. So, one day she gathered the courage and sat beside the sad girl, who was very excited to finally have a friend.
It was the age of war, so everyone was always on the edge of a meltdown. And money wasn’t exactly falling from the sky. While (Y/N)’s family weren’t considered aristocrats by any chance, she never had to worry about not getting fed, or not having a warm bed to sleep in. That was something that the Shelby’s couldn’t exactly relate to, there was little money and quite a few mouths to feed. Aunt Polly tried her best to feed the hungry children at the table, but she was failing more and succeeding less. Her sister-in-law’s three big boys were away at war, but they were always talked about.
One day, the thirteen year old (Y/N) plopped down beside her best friend Ada with a full lunch box in hand. She always had lunch packed with her, but Ada never did. For a long time, she just assumed that the malnourished girl was not hungry in school. While she was munching on her apple, she heard the growl of a hungry belly and Ada turned her head down in shame. While a girl is naive at 13, (Y/N) immediately knew that her friend was hungry, and that she probably didn’t get as much food at home as she did. When Ada looked back at her, she reacted with a wide smile to the outstretched hand towards her, holding a big red apple.
For the rest of the break, they just sat under their tree, silently chewing on their apples, with a smile on both faces.
That is how Ada knew that (Y/N) was going to be her lifelong best friend. She opened up to her when they were sharing a cigarette on the edge of the forest.
“We had more money before the war, if Tommy was here he would make sure that we have food.” Ada explained.
(Y/N) just blinked at her friend. “Who’s Tommy?”
———-
Three years later, the girls were now sixteen and the war was finally over. Because (Y/N) herself didn’t have any brothers, or sisters, she didn’t know how many families waited for this day to come.
It was a pretty summer day, and she made her way to the Shelby household, where she was always welcomed by Aunt Polly. Except, when she walked into the house, there was only one man sitting at the table. Her breath got stuck in her throat and she blushed heavily, he was very handsome. For a moment she believed that she walked into the wrong house, but the photographs on the walls proved otherwise. He was smoking a cigarette and staring at the wall blankly, he was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even hear her come in.
Thomas just wanted a moment to himself in his childhood house before going back to the Garrison, he was not the same man anymore. Suddenly, he saw a figure in the corner of his eye. A second later, the two pairs of eyes met. His previously sad eyes lit up at the sight of her, but he tried to conceal it. She was so beautiful… Slender and weakish frame, something that made him eager to protect her. Her long and soft looking hair. And that face, oh god, that pretty face.
“H-Hi… I’m (Y/N).” She walked closer to him and stuck her hand out for him, she recognized him from the pictures, he was one of Ada’s brothers.
He heard about her, Aunt Pol always told him what was happening on Watery Lane in the letters she sent to Tommy. She had mentioned Ada’s lovely friend, multiple times. She told him that the girl was pretty, very kind, and that she went with her to church on Sundays when no one else wanted to, just so Polly didn’t have to go alone.
Tommy smiled at her, and she felt herself get lost in those bright blue gems of eyes. Instead of shaking her hand, he brought it to his lips and planted a little kiss on it. Her hand was soft and warm, it was a while since he felt the touch of a gentle female. He smiled when she blushed more at his kiss. “Thomas Shelby.”
—----
From that day on, Miss (Y/L/N) was under the protection of the Peaky Blinders. Thomas always had one of his men following her and Ada to school, and then back home. It killed him knowing that he couldn’t touch her, make her his, not yet anyway. That would have been immoral and awful, and he knew that aunt Pol would have broken his hand in two and cut off his cock. That didn’t mean he hadn’t spent too many night fucking his fist to the thought of her. Everyone in the Shelby clan could see how soft he was towards her, always making sure that she stays out of the bad things, and whenever she came over and he was working, his eyes basically formed into hearts and followed her everywhere. The family loved her, she enjoyed baking and she always made sure that at least once a week she turned up to the office with home-baked treats. Those kinds of sweet treats calmed everyone down, business was blooming after all.
Ever since Tommy came back from the war, he only let himself be pleasured by whores, the one girl he wanted was the one he had to wait for. He always hired prostitutes that resembled her even the slightest bit. He imagined that he was burying himself inside her wet and warm walls, he overheard her and Ada and he was very well aware that she was untouched, a sweet little virgin. In Small Heath, the girls started sleeping around in their teens, but she, at 17, didn’t care about the boys her age. She wanted a certain gangster, who was nearing his thirties.
He didn’t even claim her yet, but wherever she walked, everyone knew she was Tommy Shelby’s girl. He sent her gifts, and always a handwritten note. Her heart never failed to warm up when she saw the little T.S on the bottom of the cards. Flowers, chocolates, exotic spices that she could put in her sweet treats, jewellery, dresses, everything a 17 year old girl loves. She was spoiled by him. When she wore one of the dresses that he got for her, she always sent him a shy smile and a little nod.
—-----
Tomorrow was going to be the day when she would finally become 18 years old, a young lady. She felt so antsy getting to bed, knowing that she would wake up as an adult. She also deeply hoped that Tommy would do something, after 2 years of gifts, protection and lustful gazes from distance. It was safe to say that her standards were very much heightened.
When she woke up, she noticed a big box on the chair of her vanity, tied up in one of those big ribbons. Her mother must have brought it up for her, as she always did when her daughter’s name was on the box, written by the familiar handwriting.
She was smiling widely when she opened the box up, it had a beautiful silky dress and a gold locket necklace. She marvelled at the divine fabric, but quickly blushed when she looked into the box again. There was a set of white lingerie and a note.
Tonight, I’ll send a car to pick you up at 7pm, be ready.
~T.S
She melted at that, and she felt her lower tummy warm up. This evening, she will finally be claimed.
——-
By the time 7pm rolled around, she did everything she could to make herself look pretty for him. She took a long hot bath, made sure she smelled good everywhere. She washed her hair and tied up half of it with a bow. She put lotion all over herself, sprayed herself with perfume and put the lovely dress on. Sitting in her vanity, she put on some makeup. She felt beautiful.
She got her light coat on, along with kitten heels and she was waiting for his car to come. When it did, she sat in the backseat and greeted the driver.
She got driven to Arrow house, which she only heard about before. It was so huge, and overwhelming, but very nice.
A maid took her coat and escorted her to the dining roomom. Just like the rest of the house, it was quite big, both the room itself and the table. It was decorated elegantly, the candlelight flooded the room. Just as she stepped in, Thomas walked in the room on the other door. He looked so handsome as always, with his muscular frame and his tailored suit.
His heart nearly jumped out of his chest, she looked like an angel, and she was standing in his house, wearing his gift. The maid left, now there were only two of them in the room, he walked up to her. With a gentle hand on her waist, he pulled her closer so he could plant a kiss on her cheek and whisper in her ear. “You look absolutely gorgeous.” He got even closer, her head was spinning with him so close, his masculine scent sent her hormones into overdrive. “I hope the dress isn’t the only gift of mine on you.”
He felt his dick twitch when she looked up at him like that, a gentle glint in her eyes. She shaked her head, too lost in his eyes to answer with words. To shake her out of her trance, he guided her to her seat, with his hand still on her slender waist.
He sat next to her, the maids kept on serving the finest of foods. Thomas also brought out a bottle of red wine. Both of them were surprised how easy it was for them to talk. They talked and ate, and Tommy even found himself laughing. He also found out how innocent she was, she wasn’t stupid, just inexperienced, and he was more than happy to give her experience. She also had a big heart, and a gentle soul, she was everything he needed.
While everyone in Small Heath tried to warn her about Thomas Shelby, she never understood why. He was just trying to protect his family and give them a chance at a better life, he was also an absolute softie for her. She could see that he had a lot of love to give, he enjoyed being the leader and defeating other gang leaders, but he must have been craving someone who could take care of him for once, she knew that she wanted to be that person.
When they finished dessert, he pulled her chair closer to his and cradled one of her blushing cheek into his palm.
“Are you aware of my intentions towards you?” He asked in a serious tone, she knew that he wasn’t fooling around. Now or never. She nodded as much as she could with the gentle hold on her face, but he wasn’t having it. “Answer me with words, I want to see if you really want this.” She felt dizzy by hearing his dominating tone.
“Yes, I know your intentions with me.” She replied shyly.
“What are they?” His fingers started to move her hair out of her face, caressing her in the process.
“Y-You want to make me yours.” She spoke lowly, it was hard to speak when he was looking at her as if he was seconds away from ravaging her.
“Yes, and do you want that, (Y/N)? Do you want me to make you mine?” He was even closer now, he whispered seductively in her ear, his full lips were nearly touching the shell of her ear. “Just say the word, sweetheart, and I will give you everything you crave. Please, let me give you the world.” Thomas Shelby barely used the word ‘please’, but he was nearly begging for her. She almost giggled, as if she really needed much convincing.
“I want it, I want it so bad, Tommy…” She was getting impatient, and he saw it on her.
“Shh, sweetheart… Don’t let your pretty head worry, I’m going to take care of you so nicely.” He stood up and stuck his hand out for her to take. “Come.”
He walked with her to his bedroom, she was walking behind him so she couldn’t see the wicked grin on his lips. When they stepped in the door, he just kept on walking, which caused her to walk backwards, until her knees hit the bed and she had fallen down on it.
He didn’t waste a second and crawled on top of her, his lips slowly finding hers. Their kiss started out slow, he guided her lips with his own. After a few minutes, noticing that she was starting to become more and more confident, he slipped his tongue into her open mouth. His hand wandered to her back, where the zipper was, his head pulled away so he could ask for silent permission. Once he got it, he helped her sit up and he removed the dress. Sitting back on his heels, he admired the sight in front of him, her young body was just begging to be ruined. She was wearing the lace, she looked exactly like an angel. His lips glued themselves to her neck and they sucked and bit, her noises were proof that she was enjoying his touch. He made sure to really mark her up, she wasn’t going to leave his mansion for a while, he needed his time with his new prize. She bit down on her lips to hide her moans, something he growled at.
“Don’t you dare. I want to hear you, don’t hold back, sweetheart.”
He went down to her breasts, he also reached under her arched back and unclasped her bra. She tried to cover herself, but he was having none of it. He slowly unpeeled her arms from her chest and kissed all around her breasts. “How beautiful! Such a nice pair of tits you have, the best I’ve seen.” He sucked a nipple into his mouth and she mewled loudly, she didn’t expect to feel so aroused while getting her nipples sucked at. He made sure that he gave both of her tits the same treatment before going lower.
Before he could do more, he stood up to remove his shirt and pants, her presence was making him hotter by the minute. He hooked his fingers into her panties and his cock nearly tore his underwear when he saw how the crotch was stuck to her entrance. She was already so ready for him. He yanked harder and they finally parted, he brought her panties up to his nose and inhaled deeply. “Mhm, so sweet… But, I think I need to feel this from the source.” Tommy dropped to his knees in front of her spread legs, her mind was making her doubt herself. What if she looked ugly down there? What if it smelled or tasted b—
“OH— Tommy!” She moaned loudly when his tongue licked a long stripe up her slit. He just chuckled into her pussy darkly, then he moved on to her pleasure. His mouth was sucking her throbbing clit, his fingers slowly circled her entrance, teasing her.
“Fuck… Your cunt tastes divine, and it’s only for my mouth to taste.” It wasn’t even a question. She was unable to form a coherent sentence, she could only moan and thrash on his tongue. He took one finger and he slowly eased it into her, she was so wet that it slipped right into her, he didn’t hesitate to add another one. “You’re going so good, I cannot wait to feel this tight virgin pussy on my cock.” He curled his fingers and rubbed them right into her spongy spot, her fingers grabbed his hair and tried to push his face more into her heat. He felt her clenching more and more, so he sped up his movements and grinned proudly when she came undone with a whiny moan and a desperate call of his name.
He kissed his way back up to her heaving chest and looked up at her flushed face. He talked her through it, until her breathing evened out again. He slowly slipped his underwear off, his back straightened out for her to see his big cock. It was veiny and thick and it made her nervous. He kept her legs spread, while he kneeled between them, one of his hand smoothing her face and the other one gripped himself at his base. “Want to give a little touch? Don’t be scared, I’m going to make this very pleasurable for you, my sweet girl.” He hissed when her fingertips made contact with his dripping tip, he was so pent up and her soft touch nearly made him blow his load all over her juicy tits, but he had to stay patient. “Are you ready? Ready to become mine?”
“Yes, Tommy, please, I want to feel you. I-I waited for you.” This caused him to grin and give her a deep kiss.
“I know you did, little one.” He positioned himself at her entrance and he slowly began pushing in, he felt a bit of resistance, but with a sharp thrust, he managed to break through it. He wrapped her up in his arms and whispered sweet nothings into her ear soothingly. “I know, I know. It will feel better in a minute, your pussy just has to adjust to my cock. Relax.” It didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would, but it still did, the girls in her class made it sound worse, or maybe their boyfriends didn’t take the time to prep them properly. That made her so proud, her Tommy made sure she was ready. She tried her best to relax her muscles and she felt the pain lessen. She planted a shy kiss on Tommy’s neck at which he chuckled at. “Good girl. You’re mine now, only mine.” He slowly began moving in and out of her.
Her walls gripped on him like a vice, he didn’t need any whores anymore, he had her now. His hands lifted her hips up a bit, so his cock was hitting her spot at every thrust. He went more and more faster, his fingers also began rubbing on her swollen clitoris.
“AH— Tommy, I’m going to—do that thing again.” His innocent little girl, so good for him.
“Good… I can feel you squeeze me, come on, sweet girl, come for me. Come on my cock. Let me fill you up. Let me make you mine.” With a shout of his name and a cry, she came around him. When he felt her walls pulsing around him, he let go too. His warm cum painted her walls, and it was such a delicious sensation. He stayed inside her for a few minutes, both of them trying to catch their breaths.
When he pulled out, he sat back so he could watch his cum leak out of her spent hole. He looked down proudly at his softening cock, which had some of her blood on it. Shit, he really filled her up with his load, there was so much of it. And the whiteness of him and the dark crimson of her virginity made such a lovely contrast together.
He took a rag from his bedside table and cleaned her up, making sure that he was gentle with her, the girl just got fucked and she was sensitive both physically and mentally, he had to be gentle.
After he made sure they were both clean, he once again brought her into his embrace. He smiled at her lovingly, which caused her to do the same. Her hair was all puffy from his touch, but he loved it.
“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” He cradled her cheek, and caressed her under eye area with his fingertip.
“I’m good, I feel a bit sore, but it’s okay.” She nuzzled into his neck and left little kisses. “I’m so happy to be here with you.”
He smiled in a way he didn’t for a long time, and he felt his heartbeat quicken. He wanted to give the world to the girl in his arms, and he felt the primal urge to protect her and keep her away from all the bad. “Me too. I’m happy to know that you’re finally mine.”
taglist: @your-nanas-house
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ TWENTY THREE MISSED CALLS — G. SATORU
☆ sum. you had always nagged to your boyfriend satoru to answer his damn phone. it’d always go straight to voicemail—you told him in your own words, ‘toru, what if something ever happened to you?’ but this time, it was far too late.
wc. 1.7k tags. gn!reader, angst, nickname(s) 'baby, angel.'
an. idk how to write angst much but i was sad so came up w this. merry christmas :)
“hey heyy, it’s satoru. uh, you’ve reached the—eheh what does that lady say again…? you’ve reached the voicemail box of.. gojo satoru. leave a message after the beep, beeeeep. heh, bye.”
such a dork.
you lost count of how many times you listened to that automatic message over and over again. the playful cheekiness in his voice, you could just see his smile. the dumb dimples that poke out against both of his cheeks whenever he grinned.
a cute dork. your dork.
besides that though, it’s been at least twenty three times of you ringing him, but to no avail. each time it went straight to voicemail—sucking your teeth in confusion, you started pacing around your bedroom. it was christmas morning, and gojo promised he’d be here before you wake up.
he couldn’t be…
no, he’s gojo satoru. he always wins, right?
right..?
the more you waited, the more impatient you became. the room grew colder and colder, despite the heat being turned on. you sat on gojo’s side of the bed, inhaling his scent, as if he was here right now.
he’d always fill up the room with his loud cologne scents—you’re always telling him how it’s too strong and he always kisses your cheek, muttering, “eh really? i don’t smell it that much, baby..”
the scent was always sweet, a mixture of cinnamon and multiple other spices—you glanced at the roségold alarm clock that rested against your nightstand, the time reading six thirty am.
he still wasn’t here.
it was hard to not overthink, think the worst, gojo was always so good at calming your nerves. you’d be one to constantly overthink. his trick to stop that was to simply hold you in his arms, stroke your hair and tell you in a soft cheery voice, “hey angel, everything’s gonna be okay. i’m okay, we’re okay.”
but again, he still wasn’t here.
gojo mentioned to you before he left last night around midnight he had to ‘take care of something’ — his code word of he’s about to go into battle or fight, but he didn’t want you to worry about him.
that’s the very last thing he wanted. and if anything, he always assured you he’d be okay. even if he was beaten to a pulp by his enemies, he’d always return back home to you with that stupid lovable grin on his face.
so what made christmas day any different?
you swallowed the thick, nonexistent lump in your throat, trying to snap out of your deep melancholy thoughts. dragging your feet,
you rubbed your eyes from the sun just barely shinning through the curtains scattered throughout the house.
with a soft sigh, you made your way towards the christmas tree — the pretty lengthy tree the both of you decorated together last minute, a tiny smile went on your face at remembering how gojo kept accidentally breaking all of the ornaments, so he had to constantly keep buying new ones.
lights, glimmery multicolored lights, a plethora of ornaments and a pretty sheeny star sits at the very top. you sat on your knees, before glancing down at the various presents — one caught your eye, it was a tiny box. a velvet heart shaped box, and gojo told you it was the biggest surprise yet.
you paused, glancing down at your phone that was about it to die soon, wondering why gojo still hasn’t returned any of your calls.
he’s been gone for hours, and the knot in your stomach continued to tighten—it felt like something inside of you was squeezing, tugging you from the inside.
was this what a gut feeling feels like? something was telling you, screaming at you that something wasn’t right.
with shaky hands, you went to his contact for what seems like the millionth time, staring at the image that was his picture, him and you.
the both of you were being goofy, it was a old polaroid picture a few years ago of the both of you during your birthday.
he spoiled you so much that day, but as always he never forgot to repeat how much he loved you.
the phone rang three times and your mind pretty much knew mentally he wasn’t gonna answer, it was a bit foolish for you to continuously keep trying. but something in you told yourself, it’s satoru. he’s gonna answer. anything to reassure yourself, this happens a lot — gojo’s the type of person who always has his phone on silent, or he says he’ll call you back but ends up forgetting.
after a few rings, the same automatic voicemail plays, and just hearing his voice again, no matter how many times — it never fails to make your heart swoon.
“hey heyy, it’s satoru. uh, you’ve reached the—eheh what does that lady say again…? you’ve reached the voicemail box of.. gojo satoru. leave a message after the beep, beeeeep. heh, bye.”
you intake a sharp breath, closing your eyes before bringing the warm phone up to your ear, pressing it against your cheek before speaking in a voice.
a voice you hardly recognized, “…toru?” and you were on the brink of tears, it was easy to hear and you tried not to let your emotions get the best of you but at this point..
was it really worth holding on to?
fifteen long seconds passed and you forgot the phone was still in your hand.
you sniffled, gathering yourself briefly before continuing in a soft drowsy voice, “h-hey, um. i don’t mean to blow your phone up but, you aren’t responding and i’m getting kind of scared. are you okay?”
you pause again, feeling the sting of tears nearly escape through your eyelids before you squeeze your eyes shut, lightly squeezing your left thigh to prevent any more emotions from revealing themselves.
“i um, just wanna say i love you, and i hope you’re okay. i didn’t wanna open my gifts until you got here but you’re taking forever..”
and you manage to crack a tiny smile that purses against your lips—yet after a while, it fades and your heart feels like it’s just walking on egg shells. “but anyway, yeah. i love you satoru, text or call me back so i know you’re alright, please? and just get home safe okay? bye.”
you hung up the phone and a single tear ran down your cheek.
so much time had passed, and he still wasn’t here. it was nearly seven in the morning now, and your dumb curiosity got the best of you—you wondered what gojo’s big surprise gift was.
he wanted you to wait to see your reaction, but you were just so curious, so enthused.
you started to peel the pretty striped velvet wrapping paper off, one at a time, it was neatly wrapped with a perfect red and blank bow tied on the top.
once you opened it, it had a tiny black box, and your eyebrows raised, a note sticking out the side. grabbing it, you revealed it and it read in neat handwriting:
“hi baby!! merry merry christmas, i’m kinda tearing up while writing this, and i know i know you probably just wanna see the gift but first read this ‘kay? just wanna say i love love you so much, and i’m so glad we’ve been together for almost four years now. you mean everything to me, you’re so sweet and kind, always there whenever i need to talk my feelings out, or even if i just need to lay on you and fall asleep. but anywho, you know who loves you? this guy! hopefully i made you smile as you read this, im probably not at home yet but ill be back soon. don’t worry your pretty little head, alright? i love you baby, merry christmas from your honored one, xoxo.”
tears were in your eyes—and it was like you could hear him, he was right, you did manage to smile. sniffling, you placed the note aside before opening the small black box.
once you pulled the top back, your eyes widened, seeing a small coruscating ring. your heart sang, blinking twice to make sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.
gojo was planning to propose..?
the ring was so pretty.
various scattered crushed up like pearls around the top, and once the tears started, they kept streaming down your face. you quickly pulled it out, sliding it on your ring finger and it was a perfect fit — in a frail sob, you mumble, “y-yes, i’ll marry you satoru.”
yet — that’s when you wake up, finally snapping back to reality. confused with tears still streaming down your face, burning.
“satoru?”
no answer.
you get up from the bed, your eyes widen before you look at your right hand — and the engagement ring was still there. a sigh of relief exits your mouth, and that’s when you make your way towards the kitchen.
nothing to worry about, maybe you just fell asleep while opening the gift. yeah, that had to be it.
although, the atmosphere of your house felt different. taking a quick glance in the living room, the christmas tree wasn’t there anymore, it wasn’t snowing, and it was almost as if you lived by yourself.
“satoru?” you called out again, before pulling out your phone — scrolling towards your messages and your heart suddenly sank. the last message you sent him was two years ago, a subtle ‘satoru, it’s christmas and you’re still not here? are you okay?’
christmas…?
you pulled a tab down on your phone — and the date read march 17th. approximately two years later from when you last sent that message, and you were so confused.
but the further you scrolled down, you saw messages from others, sending you their regards and condolences for your loss….loss?
the recent message was from geto — and your last reply was, ‘thank you, i’m doing okay. i just still can’t believe he’s gone.”
. . .
you felt sick — tear after tear racing down both sides of your face before coming to the sudden unfathomable realization.
gojo never came back home for one reason and one reason only. he died a painful death those long two years ago, even though he swore he’d come back to you on christmas.
perhaps everything was all a lie.
sometimes people don’t win all the time, not even the honored one, the love of your life, gojo satoru.
#★vegasbaby.#gege made me do it 😔#gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk angst#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fic#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#jjk spoilers#gojo x y/n#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles
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KINKTOBER #6– MY PRETTY LITTLE WIFE / mattheo riddle
october 21st somnophilia , body worship , overstim
mattheo riddle x fem reader
summary: one year anniversary with your husband
warnings: unprotected piv, somnophilia, overstim, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise, body worship, arranged marriage
words: 4.9k
a/n: the struggle that i had writing this was insane… i just never felt like i could get it quite right, but i’m gonna stop overthinking it. don’t really love it but that’s alright!
navigation kinktober masterlist
Mattheo lay beside you, staring at the ceiling, eyes tracing the same cracks in the plaster as they have for months. The morning light slipped through the curtains in thin slivers, cutting through the quiet of the room like the unspoken words that have hung in the air since the day you both said, “I do.”
It had been a year. A year of stolen glances and lingering touches that never went too far. A year of pretending the hunger in his chest wasn't real, that the way you looked at him sometimes didn't make his heart race in ways it shouldn't. He couldn't deny it anymore, not to himself. He wanted you—had wanted you for longer than he was willing to admit. But want was dangerous, and with it came the risk of exposing everything he'd been trying to keep buried.
So he stayed still, as he had for the past year, his heart pounding a rhythm that only he could hear. The tension remained, hanging over him, heavy and unrelenting, a constant reminder that something had to give. He just didn't know when—or how—it would finally break.
You were still asleep, your body turned away from him, and for a moment, Mattheo wondered if it was better this way—silent. No more venom-laced words. No more walls built so high neither of you could see over them.
His eyes raked over your figure, the rise and fall of your breathing hypnotic, and his fingers itched with the urge to reach out. He wouldn’t, though. Not after the way you’ve pushed him away all this time. And yet, here you were, in the same bed, your presence so close it suffocated him with all that’s left unsaid.
A year. A fucking year, and it felt like neither of you had taken a single step toward each other. But in this quiet morning, something was different. He could feel it, hanging heavy in the air. An anniversary isn’t just a date, it’s a reckoning—a moment to confront what’s been festering between you two for so long.
You stirred, rolling onto your back, eyes still closed, lips parted in a soft sigh. Mattheo’s heart stuttered. That sigh—it wasn’t laced with frustration. It was almost peaceful. For a split second, he wondered if you might wake up and look at him without that familiar disdain.
But then you turned again, away from him, and the moment slipped like sand through his fingers.
Mattheo clenched his jaw. He was tired of this—this endless dance of anger and yearning, frustration and desire. He hated you for how you’d made him feel—helpless, raw, desperate in a way that terrified him. And yet, he wanted you more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life.
Today was supposed to mean something. The thought burrowed into his mind, gnawing at him. It’s your anniversary. One year of this madness. One year of pretending like it doesn’t hurt to be this close and yet so far.
He shifted, sitting up, his gaze never leaving you. The silence was heavier than it’s ever been. It was thick with the weight of everything unsaid, every insult, every half-glance, every touch that never happened.
“Happy anniversary, princess,” he muttered under his breath, the words dripping with sarcasm—but also something else, something bitter and almost…sad.
You didn’t stir. You didn’t hear him.
Of course you didn’t.
Maybe that was for the best.
Mattheo’s heart twisted in ways he didn’t want to admit as he watched you sleep. In sleep, you were untouchable, your face a canvas of peace he's never had the privilege of seeing when your eyes are open. No biting words, no tension pulling at the corners of your mouth. You were beautiful in a way that cut him to the core—a beauty that made him ache, made him question if he's ever hated you at all.
Gods, you were unreal.
He hated how easily that thought slipped in, how it consumed him as his eyes drank in the soft curve of your lips, the way your lashes fluttered ever so slightly against your cheek, even in sleep. There was no defense here, no barbed words to keep him at bay. Just you, unaware of the havoc you wreaked inside him.
Mattheo swallowed hard, his hand twitching at his side. He shouldn’t. He knew he shouldn’t. But the need was there, creeping up his spine like a poison he couldn’t shake. Just one touch—just to feel you without the wall of tension between you.
His fingers moved before he could stop himself, ghosting over the back of your hand where it lay beside you. The touch was light, barely there, but it sent a shiver through him all the same. He watched your face for any sign of waking, but you remained still, lost in whatever dream kept you so blissfully unaware of the storm raging inside him.
His heart pounded in his chest as his hand trailed upward, brushing against the soft skin of your forearm. He couldn’t help it. The urge to feel more of you was overwhelming, drowning out every rational thought that told him to stop. His touch was feather-light, almost reverent, as if he were afraid to wake you, to break whatever fragile peace had settled over this moment.
You shifted slightly, and Mattheo froze, his breath catching in his throat. But you didn’t wake. Instead, you murmured something incoherent, a soft sound that tugged at something deep in his chest. His fingers itched to go further, to trace the curve of your jaw, to let his thumb brush over your lips—lips he’d thought about far too many times in the dark when sleep refused to come.
He moved closer, his body inching toward yours, until he could feel the warmth of your skin radiating toward him. His fingers hovered just above your cheek now, hesitating. If you woke up now, what would you do? What would you say if you saw him like this, caught between resentment and something far more dangerous?
But you didn’t wake. You stayed still, serene, and Mattheo’s fingers finally grazed your cheek, the softness of your skin like fire under his touch. His thumb brushed just below your bottom lip, and his heart stuttered in his chest. He was too far gone now. The beauty of your silence, your stillness, had him unraveling.
For a moment, he let himself imagine a world where this wasn’t an accident, where you wanted his touch. A world where you turned toward him, those lips parting beneath his thumb, inviting him closer instead of pushing him away.
But that world wasn’t real. And he knew the second you woke, that wall would slam back up between you, higher than ever before.
Still, in this stolen moment, with you so close and unaware, Mattheo let himself fall—just a little further.
"Just a dream, princess..." he whispered, voice low and sultry, as if the very words could tether you to this moment forever. It was a lie, but one he relished—the illusion that this was safe, that you wouldn't wake up and shatter it all with your reality.
He leaned closer, just inches from your face, his breath mingling with the morning air. Your lips were soft, slightly parted, and he felt an overwhelming urge to taste them. Instead, he pressed a gentle kiss against the corner of your mouth, his heart racing at the intimacy of it, but the touch was still too innocent, too soft for what he craved.
"Mattheo..." you murmured, stirring slightly but not waking, and the sound sent a thrill racing down his spine. That voice—so full of vulnerability, so beautifully unguarded—made him ache in ways he didn't know he could.
"You don't even know," he breathed, his fingers trailing down to your neck, the warmth of your pulse thrumming against his skin like a live wire. He wanted to mark you, to claim you in a way that was irrevocable, but he held back, letting the reverence of the moment wash over him instead.
But the longing grew insatiable. With a slight hesitation, he slid his hand lower, fingertips brushing against your collarbone, down the slope of your shoulder, and over the soft swell of your breast, barely there but electric all the same. The connection sent shockwaves through him, a heady mix of need and desire surging like wildfire beneath his skin.
You shifted again, breath hitching in your throat, and Mattheo's heart raced. He leaned closer, lips hovering just above your ear, whispering like he was sharing a secret that belonged only to the two of you. "Just let me touch you... just like this."
His fingers curled gently around the curve of your breast, a cautious exploration, but the warmth spreading through him ignited a deeper hunger. He longed to feel every part of you, to drown in the intimacy that had always felt just out of reach. The feel of the soft fabric of your nightgown beneath his palm only fueled the fire inside him.
You stirred once more, a soft sigh escaping your lips. The sound cracked through whatever restraint he had left. With a sudden rush of desire, he pressed his palm firmly against you, feeling your heartbeat.
"Stay still," he murmured again, his voice thick with something almost raw. "Let me have this."
He wanted to hear you say his name, to see the look in your eyes when you realized this wasn't a dream. He wanted you to respond to him, to melt under his touch, and it drove him wild, the thought of making you unravel.
Mattheo’s other hand came up to cup your cheek tenderly, angling your face toward him as he deepened the pressure of his palm against your breast. He was drunk on the sensation of you against him—the warmth, the softness, the quickening rhythm of your heart beneath his fingers.
A part of him feared waking you now, fearful of losing this ethereal contact before it faded away. Somnolently, he tilted your chin upward, his thumb brushing lightly across your lower lip, tracing the delicate curves. His own breathing grew ragged, punctuated by low, steadying exhales.
The darkness of dawn clung to the edges of the room, yet in that moment, illuminated solely by the glow of the sun seeping through the curtains, they might have been lost in some alternate realm where such actions were permissible.
Slowly, deliberately, Mattheo leaned in, his breath ghosting over your lips, teasing them apart just enough for his tongue to graze your inner flesh. The gesture, though chaste, buzzed with unspoken promises.
His gaze flickered down to your nightgown, the lace edges calling to him in a way he couldn’t resist. Before long, your eyes fluttered open to the feel of his fingers skimming your damp folds, prodding and poking at your entrance, his touch feather-light and hesitant. His eyes darkened as they met yours, a soft hum escaping his lips as he noticed the drowsy lust in your dazed eyes.
With agonizing slowness, his fingers traced your slit, gathering the dewy evidence of your arousal. “Shh, sleep a little longer,” he coaxed, voice dripping with desire, circling your entrance with his thumb. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. Just sleep. You’re dreaming, princess.”
Then, without warning, he sank a finger deep inside you, reveling in the tight heat that welcomed him. He moved languidly, savoring the slick glide as he pumped in and out in a slow, hypnotic rhythm. Your body reacted instinctively to the invasion, tiny gasps spilling from your lips, though your mind lingered in the haze of half-sleep.
Confusion swam in your half-lidded gaze as you stared up at him, your brow furrowing slightly as you struggled to make sense of the sensations assaulting your senses. A soft whimper escaped your throat, part protest, part plea, as your hips canted upwards almost imperceptibly into his touch. “What are you… Stop…”
But even as you whispered the denial, your body betrayed you, a fresh surge of wetness coating his invading digit. Mattheo swallowed hard, his free hand coming up to cradle your cheek, thumb brushing over your parted lips in a gesture meant to soothe even as his touch between your thighs grew bolder, a second finger joining the first in their relentless quest to unravel you completely.
His fingers stilled momentarily, the contrast between his touch on your cheek and the intensity between your thighs palpable. “Don’t fight with me, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice low and raw. “For once, please don’t fucking right with me.”
Desperation lingered in his plea, a vulnerability he rarely showed. “Let me take care of you… just this once. Let me show you how good it could be between us.”
Your chest rose and fell with each shaky breath, your eyes drifting shut as you surrendered to the unfamiliar sensations, the resistance in your muscles melting away.
With a tender kiss to your forehead, he resumed his gentle assault, pumping his fingers in and out of your slick heat with increasing depth and purpose. The wet sounds of your heat filled the room, punctuated by your own ragged pants and the occasional whimper that escaped your throat.
"You're so beautiful like this, sleepyhead," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper against your skin. "So perfect..."
As he continued to stroke you with deliberate slowness, he could feel your walls beginning to flutter around his fingers, a sign that you were nearing the precipice of release.
"Come on, baby," he coaxed, his tone a seductive purr. "Let go for me. I want to see you fall apart. For once, let’s use this bed for what it was made for.”
Your climax crashed over you in waves, nails digging into the sheets beneath you, fisting the fabric as you rode out the aftershocks, shuddering with the force of your orgasm.
Mattheo watched you intently as he withdrew his fingers from your spasming channel, bringing them to his mouth to taste your essence. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he savored the flavor of you, his eyes darkening with renewed hunger.
"Do you have any fucking idea what you do you me?” His voice was raw, a broken show of the desperate man he’d become. “Prancing around the house in those tiny little silk shorts, cursing up a storm at me anytime you got the chance," he muttered, his voice roughened by need. "So fucking hot. Wanted to touch you, taste you, take you in every position possible."
His lips trailed a searing path up your inner thigh, pausing to nip at the tender flesh before continuing his ascent. "Can’t count the amount of times I’ve imagined bending you over the kitchen counter and fucking you raw every time you’ve screamed at me for leaving my dirty clothes on the floor.”
Mattheo's words painted a vivid picture, each filthy promise igniting a firestorm of desire within you. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined your cold, distant husband harboring such primal urges towards you.
He paused as his lips reached your cunt, breath fanning over your wetness. "Tell me to stop, Y/N,” he growled, his voice a low challenge. "Order me to leave you alone, and I will. But if you don't..." His tongue darted out, licking a broad stripe up your center, tasting the lingering proof of your recent climax. "If you don't say 'stop', I'm going to devour you whole."
Mattheo's threat hung in the air, a tantalizing promise that sent shivers down your spine. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to push him away, to reclaim the distance that had grown between you over the past year.
Instead, you felt your hips twitch upward, seeking more of that intoxicating contact. A soft moan escaped your lips, the sound barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat. "Please," you breathed, the single word a plea and a surrender all at once. "I...I don't want you to stop."
A triumphant growl rumbled in Mattheo's chest as he claimed your submission, his mouth descending upon your dripping core with unbridled hunger. His tongue delved deep, lapping at your folds with reckless abandon, savoring the unique taste of your arousal.
“Mmphh—” You tried forming coherent words but they wouldn’t come out. Your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair as you held him close, encouraging his relentless assault.
Mattheo sucked gently on your clit, flicking the sensitive bud with the tip of his tongue before moving lower to lap at your entrance, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive flesh. "Fuck, you taste incredible," he rasped, his voice muffled against you. "Can't get enough."
As your moans grew louder, more frantic, he slipped two fingers back inside you, curling them just right to hit that spot that made stars explode behind your eyelids. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, a desperate plea for more, for everything he could give you.
He obliged, doubling his efforts, determined to wring every last drop of pleasure from your quivering body. "That's it, baby," he urged, his words vibrating against your core. "Let go. Come for me again."
Your second climax slammed into you with the force of a tidal wave, stealing the breath from your lungs and rendering you boneless beneath Mattheo's ravishing mouth.
But Mattheo didn't relent, not even when you went limp, your body thrashing in the throes of ecstasy. If anything, he redoubled his efforts, suckling harder on your oversensitive clit, dragging out another orgasm from you.
His actions bordered on cruelty, yet you couldn't bring yourself to protest, too lost in the overwhelming sensations he evoked.
Despite the blissful haze clouding your mind, a faint thread of panic began to unfurl, urging you to put a halt to this merciless onslaught before you shattered completely.
With a shaky hand, you managed to grasp Mattheo's hair, attempting to gently push his face away from your throbbing sex. "S-stop," you whimpered, the words tumbling out in a desperate plea. "Too much, can't take it..."
Mattheo ignored your feeble attempts to push him away, his mouth continuing its ruthless assault on your oversensitive sex. He pulled his fingers out of you and hooked your legs over his shoulders, only burying his face deeper in your cunt. "Not gonna stop," he groaned against you, his words a heated whisper against your slick folds. "Making up for all the times I didn't touch you. That's my job as your husband, right? To make you feel good. Let me make up for all the times I denied you that."
"Oh god, oh fuck, please..." you gasped, your hips bucking erratically as Mattheo drove you to new heights of ecstasy.
Tears streamed down your face, the overwhelming sensations threatening to tear you apart at the seams. Yet, even as your body trembled with exhaustion, you craved more, desperate for the release only Mattheo could provide.
"P-please," you sobbed, your voice raw and broken. "I n-need...I need..." Words failed you, your mind too fractured to articulate the depths of your desires.
Mattheo seemed to understand, his gaze locking onto yours with fierce intensity. "Shh, I know,"
He murmured soothingly, his warm breath caressing your fevered skin. "Just let go, baby. Give it to me. I've got you."
With those reassuring words, he sealed his lips around your throbbing clit once more, sucking hard. The sensations proved too much to bear, and with a keening wail, you surrendered to the torrent of pleasure crashing over you.
“Fuck! Oh, fuck.” Your orgasm ripped through you like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. You convulsed wildly, your vision blurring as waves of ecstasy washed over you in relentless succession.
Slowly, he lifted his head, his lips glistening with your essence. "Beautiful," he breathed, his eyes burning with a possessive heat. "So fucking beautiful when you come undone for me."
With gentle hands, Mattheo reached for the hem of your nightgown, slowly peeling the fabric upwards to reveal inch after inch of smooth, unblemished skin. His gaze followed the movement, drinking in the sight of your bare flesh as if it were the most exquisite treasure he'd ever laid eyes on.
"God, look at you," he whispered, his voice thick with awe and hunger. "Perfect. Absolutely perfect."
He cupped your breasts, thumbs grazing over sensitive nipples, coaxing them to peak under his gentle touch. "And these...fuck, these are gorgeous. So responsive, so eager for my attention." He leaned in, capturing a nipple between his lips, suckling softly as he rolled the other between his fingers.
Every part of you was adored, worshiped, cherished—from your soft throat to the dip of your waist, from your round ass to the delicate skin of your inner thighs.
"You're stunning," he murmured, his hands gliding over your body with a reverence that took your breath away. "Every curve, every shadow...all mine. You’re fucking incredible."
His touch was tender, almost shy, as if he feared you might vanish if he wasn't careful. But there was a hardness to his gaze, a wildness that promised untold pleasures.
Mattheo trailed his lips across the landscape of your body, his mouth worshiping every swell and hollow with heartfelt devotion. From the elegant column of your throat to the tantalizing curves of your tits, he savored each inch with tender care.
Kisses peppered the valley between your breasts, his hot breath fanning across your skin. Downward he moved, tracing the gentle arc of your ribs, the dip of your navel, mapping the secrets of your body with lips and tongue.
Your skin tingled under his ardent attentions, each brush of his lips stoking the embers smoldering low in your belly.
He continued down your quivering body, trailing open-mouthed caresses along your thighs as his strong hands gripped your calves, kneading the supple flesh with appreciative murmurs.
"You temptress," he chided gently, pressing fervent kisses to the arches of your ankles. "For months now, you've been driving me mad without even realizing it. Sleeping in your tiny shorts, bending over just so, glaring at me with those eyes..."
"You're not serious," you mumbled, your voice laced with disbelief even as your heart raced at the thought. Could it really be true that he'd been craving you for so long? That you had unwittingly tormented him with your mere presence? You couldn’t bring yourself to believe it.
Yet, as you looked into Mattheo's intense gaze, saw the hunger and admiration etched on his features, a small spark of hope flickered to life within your chest.
"You have no idea what you do to me. One glance from those gorgeous eyes, and I'm putty in your hands. I’m fucking defenseless against you."
He brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, his fingertips grazing your skin with a feather-light touch. "Look at you, spread out like a feast before me. My God, you're breathtaking. Every curve, every freckle, every goddamn thing about you is perfection incarnate."
Mattheo's eyes burned into yours, his gaze heavy with lust and need. His hand slid up your thigh, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he urged you closer.
"Tell me, Y/N," he purred, his voice low and seductive. "Are you going to let me fuck you? Are you going to let me be your husband properly?”
He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he spoke. "I want to do this shit right. Just give me a do-over. Let me fuck you. Please let me fuck you. Let me love you like you deserve to be loved.”
After a moment of hesitation, you felt your resolve crumble under the intensity of Mattheo's gaze. A shaky exhale left your lips as you nodded, a tentative smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.
"Show me," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your own heartbeat. "Show me what it means to be your wife."
Your words seemed to ignite a fire within Mattheo. In an instant, he was hovering over you, his body a delicious weight pinning you to the mattress. His lips crashed against yours in a searing kiss, desperate and hungry, as if he were trying to devour you whole.
Breaking the kiss, he trailed his lips along your jawline, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin until you were writhing beneath him. "Fuck, baby," he growled, his voice rough with desire. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."
He rocked his hips against yours, the hard length of him grinding against your core through the thin fabric of his boxers. The friction sent jolts of pleasure coursing through your veins, stoking the flames of your own arousal.
With a rapid urgency, Mattheo yanked his boxers down, freeing himself from their confines. His erection sprang forth, thick and hard, the tip glistening with precum. He positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock teasing your slick folds.
"Are you ready for me, princess?" he rasped, his voice strained with barely contained restraint. "I promise I'll make it good for you. So fucking good."
Without waiting for a response, he thrust forward, burying himself to the hilt inside your tight heat. A guttural moan tore from his throat at the exquisite sensation, his eyes fluttering closed as he savored the feeling of finally being one with you.
Mattheo's hips snapped forward, driving deep into your welcoming warmth with each powerful stroke. He set a relentless pace, his thick cock stretching and filling you completely with every thrust.
"Oh, fuck, Y/N," he groaned, his forehead pressed against yours as he battled to maintain control. "Tight little thing, aren’t you? Just relax, breathe."
His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your flesh as he pulled you onto him, meeting each of his deep, punishing drives. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room, punctuated by your moans.
Mattheo's movements became more erratic, his rhythm faltering as he neared the edge. Sweat beaded on his brow, dripped down the sides of his face, mingling with the strands of hair that clung to his forehead.
"You feel...fuck, you feel incredible," he panted, his breaths coming in short gasps. "Like heaven wrapped around my cock."
With a final, brutal plunge, Mattheo buried himself to the hilt and held there, his pulsing cock throbbing inside you as he rode out his orgasm. A hoarse moan ripped from his throat, his body shuddering with the force of his release as he emptied himself deep within your welcoming depths, but your own peak still remained frustratingly out of reach.
"Don't stop," you pleaded, your voice a breathy whisper against his sweat-slicked skin. "Please, Mattheo... I need..."
You trailed off, unable to find the words to express the aching emptiness that still gnawed at your core.
A wicked grin spread across Mattheo’s face, his spent cock still buried inside your fluttering sheath.
"Mmm, greedy girl," he purred, his voice a low rumble in his chest. "So eager for more."
He rolled his hips, grinding against your sensitive clit as he began to move again, his strokes languid and deliberate.
"That's it, baby," he coaxed, his breath hot against your ear. "Give it to me. I wanna feel you fall apart on my cock."
Mattheo's words, his fingered squeezing your hips hard enough to bruise, the way he moved inside you—it all combined to push you closer and closer to the brink.
"Yes, oh god, yes!" you cried out, your voice high and urgent. "A-ah, don't stop, please don't stop!"
Your nails dug into Mattheo's back, scoring his skin as you arched up to meet his thrusts. The coil of tension inside you wound tighter and tighter, until finally, with a sharp cry, you shattered. Waves of ecstasy washed over you, your pussy clenching around Mattheo's still-moving cock as you came hard. His gaze softened as he stared down at you.
"Precious girl," he murmured, his thumb brushing lightly over your quivering lip. Slowly, he withdrew from your slick heat, allowing your tender folds to flutter closed around the departing intrusion.
Rolling onto your side, you tucked a pillow under your head and turned to face Mattheo, who was now propped up on one elbow, watching you with an unreadable expression.
"What does this mean, Mattheo?" you asked quietly, reaching out to trace a finger along the ridges of his abdomen. "For us, I mean. What happens now?"
Mattheo's gaze drifted from your face to the path of your wandering fingertip, a small, enigmatic smile playing on his lips. He reached out, capturing your hand in his and bringing it to rest over his heart, which thumped steadily beneath your palm.
"We’ll figure it out.”
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Take the damn shot
A/N: Ohhhhh I've spiraled. Going from Mandalorian fics to writing about a radioactive cowboy with no nose within a couple weeks of each other is totally healthy :) Tags: Fallout, Cooper Howard, Cooper Howard x F!Reader, Cooper Howard x You, Ghoul x Reader WARNINGS: Canon-Typical language and violence. Summary: A single quiet day in the saloon is all you wanted. But somehow, your Ghoul partner is pulling his gun and you're covered in another person's blood. Honestly, it's just typical.
Word Count: 1.7k+
(GIF Credit to @djo)
The Ghoul hates to admit it, but he needs you.
In the same sick and twisted, goddamned way he needs the Vials to stay sane, he needs you next to him. When poison air grows thick and the scorching sun sinks beyond a brutalized horizon, you’re always at his side. Day in and day out, you stick around. Full of piss and vinegar, ready to take on the fucked up world you’re all stuck in.
And Cooper’s not one for generosity anymore, but he gives you credit a lot of the time. He knows he can be nasty, and you don’t mind one bit. In spite of his callousness and general disregard for safety, you put on a chipper attitude and tug him (sometimes physically) along to the next town. Outwardly innocent but filled with a mutual hatred for Vault-Tec and what its influence had done to the world and yourself, you’d quickly become his diamond in the rough.
And you shine particularly bright in the shack of a building the Wasteland called a saloon. You’ve made careful friends with a couple of gray-haired biddies- presumably the owners- in the back of the room, and chat happily with them. Cooper sits off to the side behind you, a bottle of the local brew dangling between his fingers. He’s content for the first time in a while; ass in a creaky rocking chair and boots kicked up on an old milk crate. The brim of his hat is pulled down to hide the majority of his face, but eyes wander lazily from you to the front door.
Cooper didn’t think many things were nice any longer, but listening to you prattle on with the women warmed something in his dead heart.
“You’re awfully pretty for this place.” The older of the two women, sporting a single eye and an impressively neat beehive style, compliments you. “Gotta be out of the Vaults with that skin.”
The Ghoul tenses, knowing the mention of your 200-year prison would strike a nerve.
“Yeah. I’m from before the war, actually.” You say it plainly and chase it down with a swig of liquor. “Fuckin’ Vault-Tec.”
The Ghoul’s familiar with your story, from you finding out about the plan to drop homemade bombs on American citizens to your confrontation with the executive group in Vault 31. Little did you know, you’d be sneaking in with no chance for escape. Cooper tightens his fist at the thought of Hank MacLean shoving you carelessly into a cryopod and slamming the button to lock you in. You’d relayed the story to him with watery eyes, and that’s something he absolutely loathed. He had enough personal beef with Hank that your trauma added to his ever-growing list of things to be absolutely pissed-the-fuck-off about.
Finch and Sparrow, as they were so comically named, clutch their pearls in sadness as you tell your story. They fawn over you, and Cooper makes out a few ‘fuck them Vaulties’ and a ‘well as much as it sucks, we’re glad you made it this far’. You sniff just barely and wipe your eyes.
“Thanks, ladies. It means a lot.”
The conversation turns back pleasant for the most part, and you’re enthralled as the women pull you into the town gossip. Cooper begrudgingly gets up to piss, comfy as he was, but stops at your side to hand off his bag first. You take it with a nod, more interested in the rumor mill than his whereabouts for the moment. He swaggers to the back door of the saloon, where wind whips sand against his jeans and patters the leather of his boots with tiny rocks.
Voices drift out the door from inside as Cooper yanks his zipper back up.
“Is it true what they say ‘bout Vaulties?” It’s a man’s voice, gruff and demanding in comparison to the happy lilt of yours. “Heard your story and always been… curious.”
“If you listened, you would know I ain’t no Vaultie.” Your reply is instant, but the edge in your voice has Cooper stepping a little faster down the short hallway. He reemerges to the sight of a suspiciously dressed man leaning against the wood beam beside your table, a little too close for comfort.
“Sure you are, darlin’. I can tell by lookin’ at’chya.” The man’s face is half-covered by a bandanna, and a pair of sand goggles are pushed up on his forehead, “Like they say.. everything’s… softer.”
There’s suddenly a hand landing on your shoulder, and Cooper sees red. His gun is pulled before he knows it, leveling at the man’s forehead.
“Hands off the girl.” He growls.
On closer inspection the man is probably close to the age you appear. Above the bandanna, weatherbeaten skin turns into frizzy ginger hair. He’s wearing a typical duster type coat, and the goggles are leaving red marks in his forehead. Cooper decides he’s taken shits more attractive than him.
Probably smarter, too.
“Fuck off, Ghoul.” Is the reply Cooper receives, sending a flash of white-hot anger through his already irradiated body. “I wasn't talkin’ to you.”
It was all too common, being brushed off. At this point in his life, it actually brings a smirk to his face. Your mouth is even tipping up at the edges, having had many interactions with the can of worms this guy was prying open.
“Listen man, I think you should let it go.” You warn and try to stand from the broken chair you had been carefully perching on. The red-head doesn’t relent, and pushes you back down into the chair. It wobbles dangerously as Cooper stomps closer. The movement prompts your captor to pull his own gun. It’s a crudely made pipe pistol, but able to shoot flying projectiles into your brains nonetheless.
“Get your goddamn hands off her before I decorate that wall with your fuckin’ skull.” Cooper yanks the hammer back on his pistol, hesitating at your close proximity.
The redhead pulls his bandanna down and Cooper watches you lean away as you recognize the scent and characteristics of a Fiend. His teeth are hanging loosely at crooked angles, and the pock marks around his mouth from scratching his skin open drip blood and serous fluid. His gun is trained on Cooper, but he freezes when he sees the Ghoul shift forward.
“Ah ah ah. How’d you like me to put a bullet in her instead?” The Fiend tugs you to your feet and nuzzles at your hair as he presses the barrel of his gun to your ribs. “I’d love a taste myself.”
The suffocating need to keep you safe and at his side fills Cooper’s corroded veins as you scowl at the Fiend whose nose is pressed dangerously close to your cheek with rotten teeth bared. Rage ignites from the anger he’s already feeling.
BANG.
Cooper’s watching when the red spray of blood washes over half the saloon, but still doesn’t quite comprehend what’s happened. His gun didn’t fire, but the scent of ignited powder fills the air. You fall to the floor along with your captor, and the aforementioned rage boils over. He holsters his gun and scrambles to pull you away in the chaos.
Thankfully, a quick once-over shows you to have no injuries, but the same can’t be said for your attacker. A foot away the Fiend lies still, about five pounds lighter from the gaping hole in his chest. Gore from his wound is splattered thick across your face and neck. Your eyes are pinched closed to avoid anything unsightly entering them, and you lash out blindly when Cooper grasps your arms.
“Let me go, you rotten bastard!” The Ghoul catches your right hand before it can hook into his jaw, “I’ll kill you myself.”
“Quit squealin’ sunshine, it’s me.” Cooper growls
While he’s getting a handle on your flailing limbs, a shadow covers the both of you. Cooper glances up at the one-eyed old woman who’s sawed-off shotgun is still smoking in her left hand.
“I know your brain is shrunken and all, but next time take the shot sooner.” She bites. “And feel free to clean up my damn bar.”
Cooper is torn between staring at the older woman- Sparrow, he thinks- and trying to contain your squirming. He’s not too fragile to admit he really doesn’t want to take a punch from you right now, so he wipes the back of his hand across your eyes and tugs you to sit up beside him.
“Cooper?”
He huffs a laugh at your incredulous tone and flicks away the remnants of blood littering your skin “The one and only. Open your eyes.”
They flicker open slowly, and you pout at the blood congealing on your clothes. “I just got these pants.”
Cooper sets a hand on your thigh and squeezes gently. “I’ll buy you a new pair. S’Long as you promise not to get Fiend all over those ones too.”
You thrust an elbow into his ribs at the jab and climb to your feet. Cooper follows with a dramatic groan.
“Old man.” You tease over your shoulder, observing the carnage from Sparrow’s well-aimed shot. A kick to the corpses’ ribs follows, sending a splatter of blood across Cooper’s pants. You shoot him an insincerely apologetic look. “She’s right, you know.”
The Ghoul follows your gaze to Sparrow, who’s hollering at any remaining patrons that dare tread too close to the mess, damning them for tracking blood around the bar.
“‘Bout what?”
You lean into his space, the scent of blood thick in the air. “Take the damn shot sooner.”
Cooper grabs the back of your neck and yanks you forward in a hard kiss. The blood transfers easily onto his lips, and he licks it off while pulling away. “Fucker deserved more than one shot.”
Possessiveness floods his mind and he squeezes the soft flesh beneath his fingers.
“I’da strung him up by his balls if I got my hands on him.” He mutters, tracing another finger through the blood and popping it into his mouth. “After grabbin’ onto you like that.”
You lean into his chest and let a smile curl the corners of your lips up. “All for little ol’ me?”
The Ghoul pinches your bloody cheek. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”
-------------------
thanks for reading, much love ❤
Read More: Fallout Masterlist
#fallout imagine#cooper howard#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#cooper howard x f!reader#The Ghoul x Reader#the Ghoul x you#cooper howard x oc#fallout tv series#lucy maclean#walton goggins#fallout fiends#possessive!cooper howard#fallout#fallout 4#fallout new vegas#ghouls deserve love too#the ghoul
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Can I request how Megs would feel if he fought his beloved, reader needs to beat some sense to him and help him from being blinded with hatred. (Tf one plz) Also I want a good ending cuz I'm still sad about the movie. And if it isn't obvious cybertronian reader.
MEGATRON X READER
Obviously Tf One spoilers! God this was so fun to write, I just hope I got their personalities right. I haven't written anything this long in a while !! Also I never knew I'd be so much of a Megatron enjoyer until this movie...yeah, it took me this long.
[ cybertronian! reader Angst and eventually fluff, could be pretty rushed tbh but I just want him to healll. Very NOT canon to the movie
You knew it wasn’t your D-16 the moment his optics changed. Or maybe it was the way he distanced himself from you and your friends in a matter of hours--maybe minutes. It was a subconscious, subtle shift, but one you wished you could have talked him out of.
You suppose you saw the changed D-16 once you made it to the hideout of the High Guard fliers. Your once-kind, responsible lover was gripping Starscream by the neck, his hold tightening with every word from the flier beneath him.
You glanced at Orion, Elita, and Bee, all frozen in horror. You panicked and you stepped forward, placing your servo on his shoulder. Before you could continue, he whirled around, optics burning with a cold, harsh light—practically glaring at you.
“Y/N…“
“D, what the hell are you doing?!” You demanded, your voice steady despite his glare. “This isn’t like you, this isn’t the way, come on.”
He didn’t respond. Instead, his optics locked onto Starscream again. He was seething, the flier grinning through the pain wasn't helping your case either.
“Come on, do it! Do it, don’t be a c-coward!” Starscream sputtered through glitching vocal processors, even as D-16’s servo squeezed harder, threatening to crush the life from him.
D-16 narrowed his optics, “I’m not a coward!” He roared as Starscream’s cackling turned into garbled screeches
You attempted to push him away, roughly shoving him by the shoulder. “D, stop it!” He shoved you back. The sudden force sent you stumbling, and when you steadied yourself, you found yourself staring down the barrel of his arm cannon. His orange optics were locked on you, but for a fleeting moment, they softened. It was like he didn't recognize you, but then he hesitated.
“Stay out of my way, from now on.” He said lowly, as if his words pained him. “Please.”
His hesitation vanished as the cannon swung back toward Starscream. You stood there, stunned, until Orion and Elita rushed over to pull you up. Then you just stood and did nothing.
You watched in horror as D-16 continued to declare himself as someone they should follow to victory. Oh, you knew how much he wanted Sentinel dead now. Hell, you did too. But you weren’t sure if this was the right way. You weren’t a bad bot. Neither was D-16, he never was. You had to do something...before things got bad.
You recalled the moment just before he…snapped.
___
“Y/N, don’t you see? He’s been lying this whole time.” “Yes, D. I see, I know. But—“ “I want him dead. I just-I need..I need to see him suffer. Look what he did. To you. To me. To us. We could have been..so much more.” He placed his servo over your spark, right above where your transformation cog was. He used to dream of you two racing together, having fun. Hell, flying even. Back then he didn’t know what he would transform into. “We can still be more, D. We have a bigger purpose now, we were given the ability to transform by a prime himself. We just need to..show everyone the truth. And we will. Then we can—“ “It’s not enough.” He blurted out, pulling you closer as if it was the last time he’d hold you. “You deserve so much better. I promise you, Y/N. I promise you he will pay.”
___
Things only got worse from there. You reached your breaking point when you saw D-16—no, Megatron—vanish Orion himself. You couldn’t believe it. They were like brothers. And now, your beloved had become something else entirely. And yet, you still felt helpless.
You rushed over, avoiding and pushing the other bots as you made your way to where D-16 stood. They all cheered him on as he was trying to lift Sentinel into the air. He was going to kill him. He really was.
“D, stop it! Look what you’ve done!” You shouted, stomping your way forward, frustration boiling inside. You slammed your shaking fist into his shoulder. Primus, you were pissed at him right now.
“Please, please! Tell me what the hell you’re doing. This wasn’t a part of the plan.” You pleaded with him, hoping you’d somehow get him to react. Instead, he inched closer, the same stance you’d expect of someone challenging you. “No, you’re wrong. This was the plan. It was what had to be done. How can I get you to see that.” He visibly calmed for a moment, reaching out a servo to brush against the side of your faceplate. Despite everything, it’s still him. And he loved you.
You hesitated, then stepped back. Oh, how it pained you. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand your goal.” You said, barely above a whisper. Time seemed to freeze, and he slowly lowered his arm. In an instant, you watched his gaze darken.
“Then you’re just in my way.”
__
Your hopes were revived as Orion, now as Optimus Prime, came back, the matrix of leadership implanted into his chest. Optimus had saved the life of Sentinel (perhaps a little undeserved), knowing there was another way to deal with this. But now he has to save..practically all of Iacon. Maybe just maybe, between the two of you, you can stop Megatron.
The fight between the two friends wasn’t solving anything, you only feared they’d end up killing each other. You got rid of your fear, inserting yourself in the fight just as they managed to gain some distance from eachother. He grunted as you shoved him harder this time, his footing a bit unsteady from his existing injuries.
“What are yo—“
“I told you, stop. This,” you punctuated every word with a shove. “Is. Madness!” You panted, glaring up at your lover. “Come back to me, D. This isn’t the real you. I know it isn’t.” You pleaded, he responded with an irritated grunt.
“I, am Megatron. Not D-16, I am not that bot anymore. Y/N, stand down-“
“No! You stand down! You’re acting foolishly right now! I won't just stand here and watch you destroy yourself and--” You yelled, going straight for him to push him again, but he stopped you with a raise of his cannon. You froze in your tracks.
"Back down, Y/N." He said with a growl. You narrowed your optics, leaning your frame right up against the barrel, hearing a light clink.. The glow illuminated your armor. For a second, you saw his optics widen. He paused, licking his teeth. "I don't want to fight you. But I-"
"But you will if you have to, right? That's what you were going to say? Do it then," Your voice cracked, "I have nothing left to lose."
He huffed, so be it. He lunged towards you, and you raised your arms, blocking the strike. You opened up to move his blaster out of the way, leaving your side open to his incoming fist. It collided with your side, sparks flying from the contact. You grunted, stumbling back. When he came at you again, you caught his arm, pulling him close until you were face to face.
"We're both being foolish right now, are you happy yet? You panted, he grits his teeth.
"Quit saying that!" He growled, shoving you away. He shot his cannon, the blast flying past your side. You slid to avoid it, earning another blast from him. He fired his cannon, but the shot missed. He was aiming wide on purpose. You blinked, you knew his aim wasn't that bad...primus, he really was missing on purpose. If you weren't fighting right now, you'd swoon.
"Are you missing on purpose?" You asked incredulously.
"No! I.. yes..no! Listen to me, Y/N. We can end this now, if you let me do this one thing."
"You've already done enough. D..."
"Don't call me that."
He lunged again, but this time, you sidestepped, charging into him and sending him crashing to the ground, the side of his face hit the ground. You managed to pin him momentarily, struggling to keep him from standing.
"This isn't what you want. Trust me.." You paused. "Megs. Please."
He tensed beneath you, then slightly loosened as you called him 'Megs.'
"This is revenge, it won't help you feel any better. Not long-term. You'll only continue hating and hating, I can't bear to lose you like this. It's...it's tearing us apart." You shuddered, loosening your grip.
Eventually, you felt his breathing slow to a decent pace, slowly, you climbed off him, kneeling beside him. He sighed. "I..I don't know how to stop." He quietly said. You leaned forward, placing a servo against his jaw. "I can help you. I will help you. Megs, you have me with you. You have..Optimus with you. We're all with you."
You both knelt silently for a moment, gathering each other's thoughts. Finally, he had the courage to look up at you. You might never see those big yellow optics of his again, but at least now they weren't so cold. They held some type of sincerity. "I'm..so sorry." He breathed out.
You almost sighed in relief. "You're still angry, and that's okay, alright? Now it's my turn to promise you, we'll deal with this differently. It won't feel fair at first, but it's the right thing to do. Stand up." You gently said, extending your servo out to him. He slowly took your servo, his grip as gentle, almost afraid of breaking you. Primus, how he regrets hurting you. You can see it written all over his face. He was blinded by rage, he was indeed acting foolish. His optics briefly flicked to Sentinel, still on the ground and honestly, grateful to still be in one single piece. He turned away before the anger could return.
"I didn't want to hurt you," He whispered.
You softly scoffed, gently nudging him. This time, without any defensive intent. "You controlled yourself better than I did. I wanted to beat your aft, D-- Megs." You joked, earning a small, bittersweet smile.
You took your servos in his, softly smiling at him. You turned to Optimus, who was just as relieved as you were. "Optimus, do you think Megs and I can help rebuild Iacon? The way it's supposed to be?"
Optimus smiled gently, looking proud. "Of course you can. We all can." He looked at Megatron, his gaze firm but kind. "I am glad to have you back, friend."
Megatron nodded, still tense but..accepting. One day, they'll be as brothers again. You just know it. "As am I." He said, turning to you. His gaze softened. "Y/N...I love you."
"I love you as well, Megs."
#grahhh#i need him so bad#transformers#maccadam#transformers one#transformers x reader#transformers one x reader#d 16#d16 x reader#transformers d16#megatron#megatron x reader#megatron transformers#cybertronian reader
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Nobody got you the way I do \\ Lando Norris
summary: When Lando finds out what your friends truly think about him, he starts to wonder why you haven't left him yet.
additional info: This is a blurb, really. Title comes from OneRepublic's song Nobody.
Some of your friends often wondered why you were sticking around. “It must be tiring,” they said several times when Lando’s struggles with his mental health came up in a conversation. They were reading the posts, saw the interviews, checked the social media buzz around him, so they always knew when there was a reason to bring it up and convince you to break up with him. It was almost a sport for them at this point, which was quite annoying since they were supposed to be on your side.
But you never cared about these comments, you loved him way too much, even on his darker days. He was under a lot of pressure on and off the track, and thanks to his more emotional personality, it was only natural that he wasn’t always in a cheery mood, and there were times when he truly doubted himself. Now that his car was fast and he had pretty good results on every race weekend, he began to overthink everything, terrified that he would make a mistake on the track that could take it all away.
Following the Italian grand prix, your friends were back on their bullshit after seeing the photos McLaren posted, the ones that showed neither Lando nor Oscar were in good spirits despite being on the podium behind Charles. “Gosh, he’s such a sore loser,” one of them noted, a girl you didn’t even remember from before. She was probably a friend of a friend and that’s how she became a part of your group chat. All you knew was that she was usually quiet and decided to stay away from your nights out, so you completely forgot that she existed.
Tired of the pointless fight with them, you put down your phone went to bed, hoping Lando would soon finish his Quadrant meeting and join you before you fell asleep. But he didn’t. You drifted off to sleep without him, and only woke up in the middle of the night when he sat down, causing the bed to shift under his weight. You turned your head to look at him, and you saw him sit there with his back against the headboard, phone in hand as he read something, which made it obvious that he couldn’t sleep again.
“You okay?” you asked him quietly.
Lando glanced down at you with a surprised look. “Yeah, sure,” he replied a little too quickly.
It was a lie, you knew that, but you didn’t say anything, only let out a sigh and closed your eyes again. He reached out to bury his hand into your hair, his thumb absentmindedly stroking your cheek as if he was trying to help you relax and go back to sleep. It almost began to work when he suddenly let out a groan and you heard the clicking sound coming from the phone as he locked the screen.
“When everyone, including your friends, keep telling you to leave me… why do you stay?”
You raised your head from the pillow and gave him a questioning look, but he refused to elaborate. Knowing your family meant he knew they weren’t so happy that you chose to date him, while some F1 fans also enjoyed bullying him online by writing comments about how you looked too nice and normal to date someone like him. But your friends? You had never mentioned those conversations.
After some time he looked at you, and even in the dimly lit room you could see the sadness in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to snoop around, but when I checked the settings of that app on your phone, a notification popped up from your group chat and I read the preview. How long has this been going on? How long have they been trying to convince you to break up with me?”
A small smile appeared on your lips to assure him everything was okay, but he seemed even more troubled than before, so you decided to sit on top of him and lean down to give him a gentle kiss on the lips. “They can talk as much as they want, but I won't leave you, all right?” you said as your fingers traced his cheek. “I love you, this is all that matters to me.”
He gulped as he watched you, struggling to keep his composure, but when you kissed the corner of his mouth, he let out a relieved sigh. “I love you too. I don't want you to ever leave me,” he mumbled as he wrapped his arms around your waist, and leaned forward to bury his face into your chest.
“Lan?” He looked up at you with a questioning hum. “You would have to do something colossally stupid thing to make me leave,” you told him with a laugh.
#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 imagine
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VELVET FUZZ 、ა h.k
it’s strange that you find a teary-eyed, pink-nosed man outside your house while coming home on christmas eve. even stranger that he’s got antlers sprouting up from his head. ˒ ´-ྀི
⚞ ᪖ ˒ 𐔌 🪡 ꒱ ・ 5.4k
𝓟airings ˒ reindeer hybrid!hueningkai x reader
𝑔 ; smut ˒ fluff
𝓦arnings ˒ soft dom!reader, hand job, kai cums on his belly, quiet sub!kai, usual hybrid stuff like scenting and all that, pretty sweet all the way through, dry humping, jealous kai a little bit?, he’s clingy, happy trail mention (mmm), i really don’t know if i’m missing anything cause i’m writing this at 5am >.< lmk!
✎୭ ashlynn's note thabk you to the lovely anon that requested this one! OH MY GOSH. this one was not meant to be super long, and i felt awkward writing fluff at first (not my strong suit, but i sorta strengthened that muscle here!) but i grew so attached to this kai by the end!! how do we feel?
﹙⋞ ﹚... back to the 𝓂asterlist
Dazed and sad-eyed, there’s a man on your porch.
With your keys still jingling against each other, you freeze. Your feet ache in your work heels, and your shirt collar is irritating your neck. It’s already bad enough that you’d worked a full shift Christmas eve, but coming home to this? Today is never going to end.
Maybe you should be worried that there’s a man hanging around outside your home, but to be quite frank... You’re more concerned with the very odd, very realistic antlers that seem to just... sprout up from his brownish tangle of hair. It looks incredibly heavy, just to be set on a headband.
“Can I help you with something?” you say, taking measured steps toward your front door. You’d already slipped once on your way out from the office today—crashlanding now, when you’ve made it most of the way, would be a shame. A thick, pristine layer of snow fluff sits pretty over the grass, thicker toward the edges of the concrete path up to your house where you’d shoveled it off.
He perks up, turning to you with a pink button nose and round eyes.
The look on his face tugs at your heart. Frantic and fidgety—maybe he’s gotten lost? It’s just neighborhood here, though. No matter how he might’ve gotten lost, it shouldn’t be that hard to find his way around. Not to the degree that he’d be looking at you like you’ve come to save him as he is now.
Tall and lanky, he opens his mouth to say something a few times, but nothing comes out. Despite his frost-bitten nose and the snow dusting his hair and shoulders, he doesn’t shiver. You’ve only just came from your heater-blasted car, and your bones have already started to chatter. That’s the second strange thing you note about him.
“Are you okay?” you say, voice going gentler. “Do you need help?” The chill on the surface of your skin begins to seep deeper. You cross your arms and tuck your fingers between the space between them and your body to conserve your own heat.
When he opens his mouth, the words finally fall out in a surge like blizzard. He was having a hard time getting them out before, but once he gets one out, they all come tumbling out after it. “They left me behind!” he says. His voice is pretty, even as it wavers. “They left—and they can’t... make any stops! I can’t believe they forgot me,” he says. Toward the end, his voice breaks.
Tugging your scarf up over your nose, you say, “Who? Who left you?” It muffles into the red cashmere. “Slow down. I want to help.”
Obviously, he’s been left behind by his friends as some sort of mean-spirited prank. It doesn’t seem like they’re good friends, either, if they have him panicked like this. He really believes they’re just going to leave him here. You frown at the funny aching in your chest. For whatever reason, one you decide not to delve into, that irks you. Taking in his wobbling lip and screwed up face, it makes you angry—it makes you want to make sure he’s alright.
You make split-second decision, looking at the state of him. He doesn’t seem dangerous. Actually, not one ounce of you believes that he could be. Maybe it could be a clever act, tugging on the heart strings of young women to take advantage of them. You’ve heard of plenty of that. But, you’re grown and have your own intuition. “Do you want to come inside? You look frozen.”
He nods.
“Okay,” you say, ushering him in with a hand gesture. “Let’s get inside. Warm up.”
Following you inside, his tall and nervous figure trails. You kick off your heels and peel your work attire off piece by piece by the door, shedding until you’re just in your skirt and blouse. The skin everywhere but your legs, where you have a pair of thick tights pulled on, prickles in the heater’s embrace. Your scalp sighs in tandem with you as you let your hair down.
Once you’re ten pounds lighter and comfier, you turn to him. He’s watching you with curious, sparkling eyes.
“What’s your name?” you say. “And why did your friends leave you?”
Continuing to watch you as you push past him and into your home, he sniffles and says, “They’re not my friends. They don’t like me; they think I’m useless. They did it on purpose—I know it. They left me here on purpose, and I can’t get back until next year!”
Whatever he means by not being able to get back until next year, you’ve got not even an inkling. “What’s your name?” you repeat.
“Kai,” he answers, eyes low.
In his hair, there’s a twitching. You frown. “Here, do you want me to take that? It looks heavy,” you say, offering your hands out in a gesture up at his antler-headpiece-costume-thing. “I can hold on to it for you.”
Shooting you a strange look, he says, “Take them? They’re my antlers.”
The two of you blink at each other for a moment, both lost for wildly different reasons, it seems.
“I mean, yes, I know they’re yours. I’ll give them back; I promise,” you say. “But while you’re here, we can put them on the counter or something. Y’know, just ‘cause it looks heavy.”
Wiping at a teary cheek, says, “You can’t take them off.”
Reaching up to his head, Kai tugs at one of those thick antlers. It doesn’t come off.
Opening your mouth to speak, you don’t know what to say. Laugh? You’ve never seen anybody secure a headpiece so well to their head. He’s really serious about this costume. “Can I touch?” you ask.
Jutting his lips out in a why not? sort of frown, he nods.
With an investigative hand, you reach up over his head. The antlers aren’t so tall—maybe a few good inches on his head. Smooth fuzz meets the pads of your fingers. You run them up the grooves and ridges, all solid and made soft with the velvet of genuine antlers. You pause.
Kai’s eyes linger on you. His voice is light and airy as he says, “You can tug on them, if you want. It doesn’t hurt.”
You don’t even ask him why it might hurt if you tug. Like this, running your fingers over the unnervingly realistic length of it, a seedling of something unbelievable plants. Wrapping your hand around it to tug, you water that seed.
It doesn’t budge. In fact, it’s so solid against his head that it can’t be anything but grown from it.
“See?” he hums, unperturbed with your exploring hands.
You don’t answer him. Not when, from his fluff of hair, you spot something even harder to explain away. Ears. Your mouth falls open as you take on into a gentle hand, running your thumb over it. It’s soft, warm, and real under your touch. It twitches, moving like attached to a living thing, too. Reeling, you step back.
“You’re—how did you do that?” you say. “Make it like that?”
Sweet face twisting into a puzzled frown, he says, “What do you mean? They’re my antlers and my ears. Every reindeer has them.”
Taking another step back, you shake your head and narrow your eyes down on him. “No... No, I mean make them feel real.” At the edges of your fingertips, the echoes of warmth linger. You think and think, and what you come to believe...
You begin to believe something absurd.
“They are real,” he tells you.
Letting that materialize inside of you for a moment, you say something stupid. “You’re a reindeer. The other reindeer left you.”
Cheeks a rosy pink, he nods dutifully, despite that being what he was telling you this whole time. “They don’t like me. It... was my first Christmas, and I’m new, and they all...” Making himself sad all over again, his shoulders droop heavy.
For the defeat and abandoned twist to his glossy eyes, you believe him. Maybe that makes you stupid, or maybe gullible. But you believe him, and so does your heart. It aches at the look on his face. Mending those steps you’d taken away from him for fear, you inch closer to him and take his face in your hands. His cheeks are plush against your skin. Over his nose and cheeks are a spackling of dusty freckles, and his eyes are shiny and hold bare trust for you even as you touch him. Innocent trust, though he’s lost and vulnerable, and you’d only just met.
You can’t mistreat that trust. You won’t. He’s a stranger in your home, and this is absolutely not where you thought you’d be, coming home on Christmas eve. But your intuition speaks once more to you, and you willingly follow. Or, perhaps it’s not intuition speak to you. Maybe it’s those big, twinkling brown eyes, and the tears brimming in them.
It’s just you living here, anyway. No roommates, hardly any friends over... You’d told yourself you’ll start putting yourself out there—to get a boyfriend to make the walls of your home a less isolating sight. But it was always later. I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll do it next week, I’ll do it next year... You never really made good on that aspiration. Instead, you fill those gaps with soul-sucking hours at the office.
“When will they come back?” you ask. “Would you like to stay here until they come back?”
Wringing his fingers out, he nods. He stands there all reserved and meek, still so hurt, but his big eyes sparkle like he holds the Christmas sky in them. With emotion.
“Okay,” you say. “Okay. You can stay here.”
Perhaps you don’t have anything for him. No male clothes, especially none that will fit his frame, no extra bedroom or bed, and hardly enough groceries. But, what you do have, it’ll be enough. Just until they realize they’ve left him behind and come back to retrieve him.
You could hardly leave him out there the way you found him.
༄
Blinking your eyes open, you focus your bleary eyes on the broad figure in your doorway.
For the entirety of the night, Kai trails you. His eyes roam over your home, and his nose twitches as he takes in the scent of it. Into the kitchen to grab a quick snack, into the living room to click on the T.V., you hardly were able to get into your room alone to tug off your work clothes. When you stepped out in something comfier, he was hovering around by the door and perked up as you emerged.
He didn’t talk much as you winded down, either. When you’d first seen him outside, he was a frantic, rambling, fat-teared mess. He’s gotten quieter, just acclimating to the place. You ask him if he’s comfortable a few times and offer him snacks, but... well, the situation is strange. You’re both a little thrown off.
Eventually, you fluffed up the couch and made it nice with thick pillows and fur blankets for him. Usually, you’d unplug the tree before beg, even on Christmas night. You left it lit up for him.
Kai, stood in your doorway, tries to muster up what he wants to say. He shifts, antsy.
Your limbs and brain are still heavy with sleep as you say, “What’s wrong, baby?” It’d only been a good... thirty minutes since you left him to sleep on the couch. Drained to the bone by your day’s work, you knocked out pretty much as soon as your skin hit the sheets.
“I’m sorry...” he mumbles, silhouette meek in the doorway, where the dim light of the tree illuminates the edges of him. “I... This is the first time I’ve slept anywhere but the North Pole. I’ve never slept alone.”
If letting him stay in your home was already insane, then letting him sleep in your bed was even more so. Scooting lazily over on the bed, you pat the empty space it frees. Who cares? You know what it is to be lonely. “Wanna sleep in here?” you say, lips slow and lethargic.
“Can I?” he says. The steps he takes toward you are hesitant.
You tug the blankets back over your shoulders and hum. “Mhm...”
The bare side of your mattress dips beneath his weight. He shifts around and tries to get comfortable, shifting around until his antlers don’t scrape the headboard and he’s settled.
Body heat beside you, or just to sleep beside somebody... you haven’t had that in a long time. Everything feels both thrown for a loop and more familiar.
“Do you miss it?” you ask. It’s a stupid question; of course he does.
Drooping lashes fluttering down onto his cheeks while he blinks and looks around, uncertain where to rest his gaze, he nods in answer. His shag of hair brushes over his cheeks, dangling as he lets his head rest on a pillow. “Yeah. It’s so different here.”
Tracing his features, the curve of his cheek made soft and glowy in the clear, wintry moonlight, the rest of his face in shadow, the strain of an old ex’s shirt you’d given him to change into around his shoulders, and his eyes. They’re not so nervous, now. They digest you and your figure, just as he’d digested the rest of your home. You’re sure it is strange—getting left behind in a place so far from home. If it were, you might be the same. Worse, actually.
It’s good you found him. People treat the things they don’t understand awfully. None would believe him—they’d slam doors in his face or worse. You’re still not entirely settled on the reality of it, anyway.
“Maybe I can show you what this part of the world is like,” you mumble, relenting to the heaviness in your eyes. “Before they come and get you.”
He doesn’t answer. You’re not sure if he reacted at all; all you see is the black of your eyelids and the wispy tendrils of sleep beckoning you.
You sleep warmer on Christmas night than you have in a long time. Sometimes, you think you wake up to the weight of a hand on the curve of your pajama-clad hip, or maybe the puffs of sleep-ridden breath in your neck. In the center of your chest, your heart glows and flutters when his sleepy fingers skim over the bare skin of your waist where sleep had ridden it up. You don’t say anything—you don’t have the heart to.
He feels nice up against your back, anyway.
༄
Christmas comes and goes. Nobody comes to collect Kai. Strangely, selfishly, you’re happy for it.
No different from the first day, he trails you everywhere. The only difference is that he doesn’t look so shaken. He’s gotten used to you and the home. When you get up in the mornings to leave for work, he complains and rambles about, what if they come while you’re gone? and that he doesn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. You think he doesn’t want to leave—you hope he doesn’t, at least.
Coming home to someone waiting for you, who greets you with a slow smile as you kick off your shoes... You’ve gotten used to it. Things don’t feel so hollow, and your life doesn’t feel like a husk of what a life should be anymore. Rather than returning to a house that echoes your lone sounds back to you, you return to a home. The house has begun to smell like him, musky and coveting
You really hope they don’t come back to get him. It feels awful to admit to yourself, but to pretend that it’s anything else would be dishonest. If they had any intentions to, they would’ve by now anyway.
“Which?” you say, holding a glittering skirt and a silvery, ruffled one in front of you. “I think the silver one makes more sense for New Year’s.”
Kai sits on your bed. For some reason, his shoulders sag. “I don’t understand,” he says, toying with the fabric of the sweats you’d bought him. “Why can’t you have fun here? With me?”
You place the red one over yourself again, and then the silver one, and furrow your brows. Preoccupied by images of your outfit with either, you throw your words over your shoulder. “Just wanna see some friends, Kai. I won’t be out for too long. I’d bring you, but... I don’t think you’d like it.”
The silver one it is. It’ll go nice with the baby tee. Discarding the other in a pool on the floor, you collect the pieces of your outfit into your arm to change.
When you turn to head into the bathroom, Kai looks utterly dejected. He watches you, brows furrowed and he’s worrying his lip.
“Kai, baby,” you say. “It’s okay. I’ll go just until midnight, and then I’ll be back here with you.”
Staring at you for a few minutes more, his face sours. His hair, a gentle fall of loose curls, moves with a shaking of his head. “It’s not...” he starts, but some thought he has deters him. “Never mind. I’ll just take a nap.”
Before heading into the bathroom, you run your fingers through his hair and scratch a bit just behind his ear. He leans into it, pushing his head into your hand with utmost care to not snag you with a branchy antler. “Sounds good,” you say. “I promise it won’t be that long. I pinky swear it.”
Nose crinkling, he asks you, “Pinky swear?”
You offer him your pinky. “Give me your pinky. I’ll show you.”
When he does, you intertwine them to solidify your promise. “I pinky promise that I’ll be home soon, and celebrate the rest of New Years with you.” You press your thumbs together. “Now it’s a real promise. Okay?”
He nods and smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes.
Truthfully, it’s not that you want to go out that bad. You’d honestly rather be back here when it strikes twelve. But your friends insist that you go out. It’s been half a year since you’ve put yourself out there like this—you understand why they do.
Clicking the door closed behind you, you begin to drop your home clothes off to exchange them for a new, glittering skin. You reemerge from the bathroom a creature of the night. Your eyes glitter as you blink, and your skirt is a true, daring New Year's length, and you wear the print of your nipples against your little shirt like an accessory, and you smooth your hands down the slip of soft belly between the waist band of your skirt and the hem of your tee. His eyes find each and every one of those things.
“There’s snacks for you, and I’ll bring you home something to eat. You’ll be good here for a bit?” you say, wobbling on one kitten heel as you tug the other on.
“Yeah,” he says, falling flat. “I’ll be good.”
Fluffing your hair, you try and let his grumpiness roll off your shoulders. He gets like this when you leave. In just a few days, he’d grown so utterly attached to you that only the few hours away have him ruffled. You know he depends on you because you’re the only person and thing that he knows here, but... you don’t think they’re coming back to get him. Not this year, at least. And you can’t be home all day, so you need him to get used to functioning at home by himself.
Letting your voice into something both reprimanding and playful, you look at him through your lashes and say, “See you later, Kai.”
His eyes burn holes through you as you go.
༄
Pink-cheeked with liquid bliss heavy in your veins, you step from the nippy air and into the embrace of home. You’re not drunk enough to stumble or slur; you’d left that back at the bar. Still, you feel the buzzing like static between your thoughts.
Your heels and toes riot as you slip your feet from your heels. Should’ve brought a backup option... Kitten heels usually would’ve been enough to save your feet, but you were standing all night. You’re worn down to the bone.
Tucking your hair back out of your face, you blink heavily through a scan of the living room and kitchen. Usually, Kai’s right here at the door waiting for you. Today, he does not.
You frown. “Kai?” you say, projecting your voice.
He’s not on the couch, nor in the kitchen, nor in the bathroom as you investigate. You begin to be worried, until you find him in the same place you’d left him.
Except, now, he’s a tangle of blankets. You can’t see him. With your blanket wrapped up so tight over him, he’s just a mound on the bed. Strewn across the floor and over the bed and around him, there are a number of your clothes. Clothes that hadn’t been there when you’d left earlier.
He shifts. Before you even say anything, he knows you’re here. He’s got some good hearing, you’ve found. And smell.
“I’m home,” you announce, pulling the blankets off him. “You sleeping?”
As you peel back the covers, he sits up. His hair is a mess, and his eyes are drowsy. Rather than scooting over to let you slip into bed with him, or smiling to see that you’ve gotten home, his nose twitches and he tugs his lips back in a smear of disgust.
“What’s wrong?” you say. “Sorry for waking you up...” Gesturing around at the mess, you add, “What’s all this? My clothes are everywhere...”
“Why do you smell like that?” he says.
You flounder. It’s the snappiest you’ve ever heard him. “Oh...” you say, smoothing the tangles in your hair. “I... was dancing a bunch.”
Eyes sharp and negative, he says, “No. You smell weird. I don’t like it. Like other people. You don’t smell... Like you.”
“I don’t know...” You shrug a dismissive shoulder. “Maybe you’re smelling my friends. Does it bother you? I’ll go take a quick shower.”
“You promised that you’d be here soon,” Kai says. When you reach an arm up to soothe his sleep-tangled hair, he avoids it with a dip. “You smell awful. Like... you don’t smell sweet, you smell like a man.”
Still stung, you let your arm drop. It’s well past twelve. You’d broken your promise. Wincing, you sift through the memories of the night. You think maybe the closest you got to a man was a playful kiss with a friend to welcome the new year. You supposed you’d also hung around him the whole night...
“I’m sorry, I lost track of time,” you say. It’s a bare apology; you offer him no excuses.
Kai, shoulders stiff, does not loosen up. Emotion brims in his eyes like liquid frost. “Why am I not good enough? Why do you like him more than me?”
You go to answer him, but you’re not sure how to. Maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that you’d slipped up your times, but breaking his trust was. He’d been left behind by the only thing he’s ever known, and now that he’s settled here, he thinks you’ll do just the same to him. The twitching of his lips does a terrible number on your chest.
“Kai.” You whittle your voice into something breathy and gentle. “I’m not gonna leave you. You can stay here forever, even if they don’t come back.” You know he’s begun to realize that maybe they won’t be bringing him back home, as you have. Still in your itching skirt and smeared in a thick, going-out layer of makeup, you dip your knees into your side of the bed. “Forever. Maybe I break small promises, and I’m sorry, but I won’t break that one.”
How had he carved the shape of himself into your heart so fast? So well?
“I don’t want to go back there,” he says, colored thick with conviction and sullied memories. “I never want to go back there.”
Like the weight of the world on your shoulders, your body longs to crumple under it. You lay your hair on the pillow and beckon him down, too. “Then, don’t...” you mumble. “Stay here. Forever.” You repeat the word like mantra, so that maybe he’ll let it seep into his bones and patch up the wounds left there.
He curls up over your back, pressing his mouth into your shoulder. You’d thought the first night would be the only that he joined you in your bed, but you’ve got a tender heart. He runs warm-blooded as a creature of the snow, and you run cold. He’s a good heat source.
That’s your excuse, anyway.
Like all the other nights of the week he’d been here, he takes your hip in a hand and slips the other under your neck like a pillow.
This night is the same; until his breaths quicken behind you. His frame goes rigid once more, a solid wall at your back and a big hand pinning your hip to the bed. He presses his nose to the exposed length of your neck, puffs of hot and angry breaths fanning out here and there. Like he’s caught a scent.
“Kai?” you say into the dark of your room. It’s half a laugh, half real question.
Your lungs stutter when the drags of his nose turn to drags of his cheek, and he’s pressing himself harder into you. That’s when you feel it: the rock-solid hardness of his cock against your ass.
“I don’t like it,” he whines, wrapping you in him. His scent. “I don’t like that smell. Can’t sleep...”
You have a decision to make: to go brush him off and sleep as though it were nothing, or to address the barely-there grind of his hardness against you.
Like all of your other decisions, the one you land on is the absurd one. You push your ass back into him. He gasps, a sucking in of air, against your neck, and digs his fingers harder into your hips. He brings you back into his hips as they grow more daring.
“Missed you so bad...” he says, sliding that one hand on your hip down so that his forearm presses into your belly. He uses that as leverage to grind against you, instead. “Missed your smell... None of your clothes smelled like you... N’ your blankets started smelling like me, too. Why did you stay away for so long? You promised. Promised...” A shuddered breath prickles the hair on your neck. “Promised, and now you smell like someone else. I hate it.”
“Baby,” you say, reaching a hand up over your shoulder to cup his cheek. “I’m sorry. Wanna make it better? Want me to help you?”
He whines from the chest, sitting up quick to look at you. His pupils are wide, and you know just by the look of him how much it’s been bothering him.
“Scoot back,” you say. Your belly does a wild crash. If you were to tell yourself two weeks ago where you are now... You would’ve laughed in your face.
Eyes glazed over and his cheeks a dusty sort of pink, he does so until his back is at the headboard. He moves with a clumsy excitement.
You tug your skirt down your legs, kicking it off your ankles so that you can crawl over to him better. In your neck, your pulse flutters wildly. He watches you approach, and then tug his sweats down. His cock pops right out, long and pretty pink at the tip and weeping glistening tears. He hadn’t even been wearing boxers. Kai’s squeak when you brush your fingers just up the underside of it and then take it in your fist is sweet.
“Poor baby,” you say, knitting your brows together and looking up at him through your lashes. “You waited all day for me, just for me to come home smelling like somebody else... You did so good, I think you deserve to feel good.”
His lips glisten with his wet tongue. When he fully takes in the sight of you, face-to-face with his cock, a shudder shakes him. “I wanna...”
Pushing his shirt up to reveal the softness of his belly, you say, “Wanna what, Kai?” You press sweet open-mouthed kisses up the dainty trail of hair just under his belly button, and then you scatter a few extra like glistening presents over his hip bones and abdomen. His chest jumps and falls with each.
“Feel good,” he says. His length does a twitch, as if just the thought of you helping him like that was just like touch.
You press the final kisses up his length, from the base of his cock up until your lips meld against his cockhead, right over the wet tip. Savoring the salty musk of his precum, you say, “You’re such a sweet boy. M’ sorry I made you feel bad. Want me to smell like you? Would that make you feel better?”
He opens his mouth to say yes; you see it in his eyes. Your lips wrapping around the hot pink of his tip ruins his plans. The way he twitches his lips and shifts goes right to the hotness between your own thighs. Encouraged, and truly wanting to make up for how you’d treated him today, you release his tip and smear the mess down his length with a few pumps. As soon as each slide is slick and obscene, you turn from languid pumps to purposeful flicks of your wrist.
Kai bucks his hips up into your fist and lolls his head back, eyes screwed shut. The digging of his teeth into his plush bottom lip is what draws your eye most, though.
“It’s okay to make sounds if you feel good, baby,” you coo, kissing over his chest and neck. “You don’t have to be quiet around me.” You adjust your grip and change the angle of your slick jerks until one has a sound catching in his throat and a hand of his flying up to curl around your wrist. “Like that?” you ask. It’s not taunting—it’s a genuine wonder.
It takes him a few moments, adam’s apple bobbing, but he pants a little for you finally. He nods frantically. “The....There,” he grits out.
So, you continue to fuck him on your fist. Sometimes you stop just to collect the slow, oozing white droplets that he can’t help but produce, and sometimes you reach your fingers up to brush the hair out of his eyes to better see his glassy eyes and red cheeks. The sounds really are obscene; your ears burn red just hearing them. Your cunt throbs at it, too.
“Feels... please—” he gets out, rustling against the headboard harder and bringing his hips up to meet your fist half way. “M’ so—happy to be here. Love you—love you! Gonna cum, can I cum? Please?”
Stomach doing wild flips at the cracking in his voice and the tightening of his soft belly, you loosen up your strokes and try to help him toward it. “Of course. Cum, baby. Go ahead. Feels good?”
Your wrist aches once his jaw goes tight, the muscles there twitching in the moonlight, and he spills his seed in white, sticky spurts all over his belly. His fingers go tight around your wrist when you continue to jerk his cock even as he cums, working him well through it and urging him to spurt a few more stray shots on himself with wild jerks of his hips. He heaves whines and his cock throbs beneath your fist, pretty face screwed up tight.
“There we go,” you coo, admiring the scene of him, covered in his own seed and his bangs damp. You’re sure you smell entirely of him, now, with his mess wet and nasty over your palm.
A parade of sweet thank you’s spill from his lips once he finds his mind again, breathy and full. You just press your cheek into his chest, feeling every frantic thump of his heart against you. Perhaps it’s a bit sappy, but all you can think to say is:
“I’m happy you’re here, too, Kai.”
﹙⋞ ﹚... back to the 𝓂asterlist
✎୭ ashlynn's note TJIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SUB IDOL AHHH. kinda nervous. can you tell? i’m not sure why, i love that shit. it’s just how the dice have rolled hehe.
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#꒰🥮꒱ ࣭ ٫ ashlynn’s twelve days of christmas#txt fanfic#txt x reader#fem reader txt#hueningkai hard thoughts#hueningkai hard hours#hueningkai x you#hueningkai x y/n#hueningkai fic#hueningkai fanfic#hueningkai smut#hueningkai x reader#txt ff#txt fanfiction#txt fic#txt smut#txt imagines#txt hard thoughts#txt fluff#txt hard hours#hueningkai fluff#hueningkai imagines#hueningkai hybrid#txt hybrid smut#txt hybrid#txt scenarios#txt christmas
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Nobody Likes A Secret
pairing: no outbreak rich older!joel miller x afab reader.
how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters
word count: 3k words
description: a rich wealthy playboy who becomes enthralled by his neighbor's daughter. it never ends well when he can not fathom having happiness for himself.
warnings: ANGSTY!!!!!, age gap (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her mid 20s), wealthy!joel, neighbor!joel, reader is pretty naive and delusional, taboo relationship troupe, mentions of parent death, VERY BRIEF SMUT, joel is borderline evil and very mean. joel calls reader "kid". joel is also a liar. talks of having children.
author’s note: I wrote this all in like... two nights. I listened to illicit affair by taylor swift and nobody likes a secret by lizzy mcalpine a lil much and it ended up here. sorry if I make you sad.
You creep into the large 4-car garage, seeing Joel pacing the oil-stained floor. He’s still in his work clothes, but he looks a bit disheveled. His eyes are wild, his face downturned into a deep-set frown.
“Joel? Everything okay?”
He shakes his head. “He knows.”
You know only one person who would ruin this.
‘This’ being an 9-month-long affair with your older neighbor. Months and months of meeting in dark corners, hardly ever seeing each other in the light.
“How?”
Joel fumbles trying to pull his phone out of his pocket, showing you the 5 missed calls from your Dad. You stare at it blankly, tightening your jaw at the possibility that your Dad is too smart for his own good. Shit, he does know, doesn’t he? He throws the phone down on a nearby leather couch that is positioned near a workbench. Joel was pretty good with his hands, but lately his mind has been anywhere but tinkering with wood in his garage.
“He came over an hour ago. Sat me down and told me that he was getting suspicious of some outings you’ve had over the last couple months. Said he realized you were not going to the places you said you were going to. So he assumed you had a new boyfriend or something. Then last night…”
You curl your hands into a fist. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. Fuck,” Joel grumbles, running his hands over his face, dragging his lower lids down in frustration, “He said that if I know anything or see anything, I am to let him know immediately. He’s worried you’re fuckin’ around with the wrong guy.”
You had snuck out of your house last night and tiptoed your way into Joel’s car, which was parked in a nearby cul de sac. He promised you a nice late dinner in the city and then he ravished you in a hotel room you two didn’t even spend the night in. He brought you home around 4 am and you snuck back into your bedroom, ensuring nothing in your home was stirred. When you woke up the next morning, your father left you a note that he wanted to do dinner with you that night. Meaning tonight.
You know this is detrimental, and while you do not want to freak out immediately, you can not help but feel like someone is stabbing you directly in the chest. Joel’s body language is giving off negative signals, so even though you want to hug him and tell him that you can talk to your Dad, you know it’s not going to change much.
Your eyes well with tears, thinking of how this was going to ruin everything. After months and months, you thought you were being so smart.
“We can’t do this anymore,” He whispers.
And God damn, did Joel hate seeing you cry.
But the tear-filled eyes you are giving him are warranted. You don’t turn away from him like usual. You never wanted to show him any weakness.
This time you confront him, your nose turning upward and your eyes full of disdain.
“You said we were being careful,” You murmur, the salty tears falling down your cheeks.
“Not careful enough.”
The bitterness tastes like blood in your mouth. You want to scream at him but keep an even tone instead, “Joel… Just let me talk to him.”
“You knew where this was gonna end up,” He states plainly, his voice not wavering.
And maybe he was right, but you enjoyed living in a loved-up delusion. Maybe it was the sex or maybe it was the looks he gave you from across densely populated parties you were forced to go to. You would put on a show long enough to make your father happy and then you would somehow sneak away with Joel. You knew if your father caught you with the much older man, he would lose his mind, so you were always cautious. You made sure the doors were locked. The moans would stay hushed. The car was parked far from your front door. And during the time spent away from the house, you would get a girlfriend to lie for you. You were always so careful.
“Maybe he suspects it’s someone else.” you try to reassure him, but you know it’s falling on deaf ears.
“You know he knows it’s me.”
“We don’t know that for sure.”
Joel rolls his eyes. He knows that your father’s words were simply a warning. If you two continued this schtick, you know better than anyone your father would find out. You knew he already kind of had eyes on you and Joel had caught on to a couple of neighbors watching him from their bedroom windows. He gives your father credit, he was thorough.
“We have to stop.”
You did not realize how much your heart was banking on making this work. Joel was about 25 years older, so deep down, you knew that no one would accept the relationship. But in your wildest fantasies, you imagined you two would run away together. He had tons of money, you had nothing tying you down, and it could be a perfect escape. You had brought it up one night after you snuck over to his bed and he didn’t explicitly say no. He just giggled and continued tracing circles on your bare back.
You bite the inside of your cheek, “So you just… don’t want me anymore?”
He huffs, already annoyed you were making it seem like he had a choice.
“It was never gonna work out in the first place, kid.”
You just stare at him. The nickname hit harder than it ever has. After months of sneaking around with you, Joel only ever saw you as that. A kid.
“Don’t call me that. Ever.”
He notices the rise in your voice and quickly realizes he made a mistake.
“Listen-”
It’s like every terrible emotion you have ever had comes bubbling to the surface. The resentment you held towards him when he ignored your calls some nights. Or when he refused to get near you at any party. You had your grievances, but you sat there like a good girl and just accepted him the way he was.
It’s like acid in your throat, it burns.
“No, you listen,” You snap, “You don’t get to play the kid card. You chose this just as much as I did. You told me that my age didn’t matter. You told me that you would want children with me one day. You filled my head with all this bullshit and now when shit gets real, you walk away. You’re a fuckin’ coward, Joel.”
“My reputation and livelihood is on the line for this! You think I don’t still want those things?”
“If you wanted them bad enough, you would fight for me.”
It makes his face drop. His furrowed eyebrows relax and his mouth droops down into a subtle frown.
You do not know where to go from here. The atmosphere in his garage rises with tension, words just hanging in the air.
The Annual Miller Christmas Party was the talk of the town. Everyone who received an invitation would proudly display the cardstock on their huge fridges and show their uninvited neighbors to brag. When Joel came over to hand deliver you and your father’s invitations, he told you to wear something sparkly.
You searched everywhere for the perfect gown for weeks. He had only really shown you attention when forced to be in the same room as you, so you needed to be eye-catching. He was never the guy to wave to you when he was leaving for work or say a quiet hello at the grocery store. Joel was a very regimented man. He never strayed away from his routine which was usually work, hookups with random women, and sleep. He never kept a woman around for too long. You noticed the circulation of women changed every month or so. Joel never wanted to settle down. He had tried that once 15 years ago and his ex ended up with half of his company.
But you always loved the way the man carried him. Despite his playboy behavior, you were entranced with him. You always thought he was handsome and when you came home at 25 to help your mother who had fallen sick, you knew that your crush had morphed into borderline obsession. Living next to him would be dangerous.
The dress you chose was red, which was fitting for the occasion. And of course, it was sparkly. Just what Joel ordered.
You spent all day preparing for the evening and when you showed up on his front door on your Father’s arm, he could not peel his eyes away. You were so radiant and perfect. The twinkle in your eyes shone brighter than the glitter on your gown.
During the night, you drank a couple of glasses of champagne and chatted up some of your Father’s colleagues. You notice Joel’s eyes following you every so often. You can vividly remember thinking, “This man wants me so bad.”
That night Joel cornered you in the hallway by the bathroom. He asked you if you were interested in literature, but really he just wanted you alone in his study. You being you, you enthusiastically said yes and followed him down the unlit corridor. Once he shut the huge wooden double doors, you knew that you would be slipping out of that gown for him in no time.
And that’s exactly what happened.
He drove you crazy, peppering kisses all down your body. He would groan every time he heard your shaky breath, knowing that the effect he had on you would become a dependence for him.
When he first pressed into you, it was different than any other woman he’s ever been with. You did not throw your head back, moaning obscenities. Instead, you stared into his eyes and nodded, encouraging him to continue his movements. It was so sensual and passionate, by the time you two finished, he held you in his arms for 20 minutes. He was never one for pillow talk or aftercare, so he surprised himself.
You were different than any other woman he had ever encountered.
You had slipped over to his front door a couple of days after the Christmas party, knocking to ask his assistant if he was home. When she brought you into his office, he told his assistant to shut the door on the way out. His eyes never left yours as you bantered to him. He loved your confidence. He bent you over his desk after 10 minutes, tugging up your skirt and swatting your ass for showing up on his doorstep looking “this beautiful”.
Joel always made you feel so good. His dirty talk went to Harvard. He could make you cum over and over with his husky Southern accent. Every time he called you “darlin’” or “princess”, you would come undone.
A couple of months into the entanglement, your Mother’s health deteriorated overnight. You and your Father stayed by her side when she took her last breaths. It was devastating, seeing the woman you looked up to your entire life slowly slip away. You felt like a shell of a person, unable to really harbor any feeling other than pain.
Joel called you and let you know he would not be able to attend the funeral due to work commitments. You did not care, understanding that there’s never a good time for someone to die and he had no obligation to come. You arrived at the funeral home and saw a huge arrangement of purple and blue flowers. On the card, was scribbled in his handwriting.
“What a breath of fresh air she was. Thinking of her family, always. Joel Miller.”
When it was time for the burial, you watched a large SUV pull up right before the final words were going to be spoken. Joel hopped out the back and slowly approached, keeping his distance from you and the rest of the attendees. Once she was lowered into the ground, Joel came over to give his condolences to your inconsolable father.
You stayed back, watching everyone except him leave. You sat in the first row of fold-out chairs, watching them throw dirt over her casket. He sat down next to you, never saying anything. His hand extended out, touching your hand that was resting on your lap. It was an unspoken thing, but you never felt more seen in your entire life. He somehow knew exactly what you needed.
Someone next to you.
After a couple of months, you felt more like yourself. You called him one night, asking if he was available for a drive. He parked his truck in your usual meet-up spot. You crawled up into the passenger seat and asked him to drive. You did not care where. You two caught up and once he could tell you were getting back to some semblance of yourself, he made his move. He was stopped at a red light when he placed his hand on your thigh. It was the first time you had sex in his truck. That night kickstarted the affair again, which led to the secret meetings in hotel rooms. You two got more bold with your rendezvous, even taking a weekend to the mountains. You don’t even remember the lie you told your Father as to why you were gone.
Joel always thought you were capable. He admired you for being such a dynamic woman. To be so strong and delicate at the same time was unheard of. Even though you were much younger than him, you were well-versed in everything. You were professional and smart when it came to business. All the while, you were polite and empathetic. He would frequently come to you when he needed advice about work or an opinion on something ethical. He enjoyed hearing you ramble on about things you were passionate about. And God, did he love your laugh.
He did not expect to keep you around as long as he did. But your body was like a drug and Joel had a nasty habit. You were always eager and available, and after a while, Joel started thinking maybe it was too much all at once. When you became comfortable enough to sleep over in his bed and make him breakfast, he knew his world was tilted on its axis.
He needed to find a way to ruin it for himself, as he had done so many times before.
He “slipped up” one night. As he and his chatty neighbor Jeff sat outside and smoked cigars, he spoke about his desire for you. He didn’t particularly say that you two were together, but simply insinuated that he would like to have you alone. And the rumors spread quickly. Soon enough a little birdie was in your Dad’s ear, feeding him information.
Joel kept up the act with you, even though it was not really an act. He did like you, hell, he may have even loved you. But he did not want you to need him. So when people started paying more attention to you and him, he knew his plan was set in motion. In no time, it would all come crashing down.
“If your Dad takes this to the board, I will lose my company. Do you understand that?”
You hated that you understood stupid business jargon. You knew that Joel losing his company would be devastating. But at this point, you could not care less. Because for as long as your affair, you watched his walls fall away. He had let you in more than once and in your delusional state, you believed for a second that he would choose you over his job.
You clench your teeth as you suck in a sharp breath, tears still streaming down your warm face.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then we just end it. This has already gone too far.”
You finally turn away from him, your eyes falling to the concrete floor. As soon as he says those words, chills run down your arms.
“You know Joel…” You drift off, using your shirt sleeve as a tissue. You wipe away a couple of tears and glare back up at him, “I would have given up everything in my life for this. My job. My relationship with my father. Everything. And the fact that you won’t even give me a chance to talk to my Dad to see if he could spare you and this whole charade, really fucking hurts. I’m not worth that to you and that… That’s what hurts the most.”
“Babe-”
“No. You don’t get to call me that anymore. You don’t get to call me anything.”
The tears flow again as you watch him exhale, his hands on his hips. His hair is unkept and the tie he’s wearing has been loosened.
“I’m sorry,” Is all he can say while your lip quivers. You are trying not to lose it completely.
You just shake your head, “No. You’re not sorry.”
He was. He was sorry, but he could not let you ruin everything.
Joel would soon know that you were everything. And as you left the back door that evening, leaving behind the scent of your perfume, he knew that the smell would somehow taint his sheets, even though you had not been in them for weeks. He already started to miss the feeling of your lips. When he tried to go about his evening, he swore he would see you in the shadows of his large house. He even thought he heard your laugh. You were already haunting him even though the death of your relationship happened just hours before.
You moved on after a couple of years. Met a guy at your 9-5, settled down, and popped out a few kiddos. Some nights you would lie awake, wondering to yourself if Joel was really happy. You never learned the truth of his deceit. After all, your Father was just grateful that his warning to Joel led to his desired outcome, which was him being gone from your life entirely.
And Joel would be haunted for the rest of his life. No woman. No drugs. No party. Nothing ever filled the void you left behind. And it was all his fault. Just like it always had been.
#joel miller fic#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#tlou fanfiction#tlou joel#joel tlou#pedro pascal#affair au#check tags#angsty joel miller#fic: nobody likes a secret
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miguel o'hara x shy crybaby housewife!reader (p3)
[based off of a request where a kind anon asked me 2 write one where he snapped at her, tweaked it a little bit so he's actually not mad at her but more concerned, it just came off in the wrong way]
tw: mentions of blood and wounds from shards, suggestive bit at the end
miguel whos just gotten out of the nice warm bath you made for him
having put on a tight white shirt and sweatpants, drying his hair when he hears a something breaking in the kitchen followed by a scream
he rushes to the kitchen where his dimensional jump watch is on the ground in pieces, debris all over
and you're kneeling over it, trying to pick up the bigger pieces
"shit!" he yells, kneeling down and surveying the damage. "get away from that!"
"i'm sorry!" you cry, clearly shaken. "i-it was on the table and i hit it with my elbow-"
"i know- please don't- just let me-" miguel tries to gently usher you away, but you shake your head.
"it's my fault," you cut him off. "i'll clean it up-"
"I SAID GET AWAY! THIS COULD EXPLODE SO LET ME FUCKING HANDLE IT, ALRIGHT?!"
it stuns you into complete silence, making you flinch away and lean against the kitchen counter.
miguel sighs, running a hand through his hair.
"sorry." miguel says bluntly without looking up. "just- fuck- the last time this happened it broke my nose so don't touch anything-"
he pieces the parts of the watch together, brows furrowing when he sees the tiny projector panel is missing. "what? where's the-"
shaky hands place two broken pieces of the projector panel in his hands
his brows furrow when he sees there are specks of blood on your palms
and he realizes you were trying to fix it on your own :((
he looks up and you're staring up at him with tears in your eyes, your bottom lip wobbling as your breathing quickens and the tears stream down your cheeks.
"i-i'm sorry," you whisper, and his heart shatters
"amor-"
before he can react you stand up and flee to the bathroom
"oh no," miguel leaves the watch pieces right there on the floor and follows you
he finds you at the sink
running your hands through warm water as you cry quietly
miguel feels immense guilt for yelling at you
he wraps his arms around you from behind as he looks at you in the mirror
"bebita," he whispers. "let me help you..."
you're still looking down, avoiding his gaze, and he sighs, pressing a kiss to your neck.
"bebita, i'm sorry," he mumbled. "i was scared you'd get hurt, i didn't mean to yell at you..."
you sniffle, turning off the tap. "i messed up."
"we all do," he whispers. "i messed up too, you didn't deserve that, you were just trying to help."
you shake your head, turning to face him and showing him your palms filled with cuts. "yeah, n' look what happened."
"you think too lowly of yourself, cariño," he lifts you up on the counter, taking the first aid kit from the drawer and fishing out the tweezers, some cotton and some rubbing alcohol.
he presses a kiss to your lips. "i'm not mad at you for this. i want you to know that. i had no right acting like a jackass."
you laugh softly through tears, and he smiles sadly, taking your left hand and looking for your injuries
the next few minutes are completely silent as miguel picks out the tiny shards from your palms
he kisses each palm when he's done, then pours some alcohol on a cotton ball.
"bebita, this might sting a bit. take a deep breath for me."
you start sobbing, and he looks up at you.
"bebita, i haven't even put the alcohol-"
"i'm sorry," you whimper, crying harder, and his heart breaks again.
"amor," he leans in, brushing stray hair away from your face and thumbing at your tears.
"you're very pretty even when you cry, but please don't be sad..."
miguel pulls you into a hug and you let it all out while he shushes you softly, kissing your hair and whispering words of love
patiently waiting for you to come back to him, wiping away your tears and sniffling, looking up at him with a tentative expression.
miguel smiles. "there she is," he mumbles, kissing you sweetly. "nobody's mad anymore, i know you meant well, you always do."
he kisses your nose. "i love you."
"love you too," you whisper, and he smiles.
"do you want to watch a movie with me while i clean you up?"
"mhm."
"your pick, amor. anything you want, anything-"
"can we watch top gun?"
"no."
"but you said it was my choice!"
"anything but that! you know i hate top gun!"
"we watch top gun or im not cooking paella for a month"
"BEBITA POR DIOS!"
you giggle and he sighs.
"fine. you're lucky you're the love of my life... and that i dont know how to cook my own paella."
"how about this?" miguel lifts you up in a princess carry.
"i'll watch top gun with you WITHOUT complaining if you promise to never let me yell at you like that again."
you look at him in confusion. "but-"
"promise me." he whispers.
"okay," you nuzzle into his neck. "i promise."
"good. and remind me to eat you out more often im forgetting how good you taste ;)"
"MIGUEL!!"
#miguel spiderverse#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara fluff#miguel o'hara headcanons#atsv miguel#miguel spiderman#miguel x reader
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soapy heaven
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader
summary: taking a lovely shower with your lovely boyfriend aka spencer reid going crazy for you washing his hair
warnings: pure teeth rotting fluff
wordcount: 700 words
a/n: so this is inspire by this post! i loved writing this and i am quite happy with how it turned out. it's not perfect but it's late, i'm tired but happy and i wanted to post it today! so enjoy <3
„Can I join you?”
“Hm?” Spencer asked from inside the shower, his head peaking out from behind the shower curtain.
“Can I join you?” you repeat.
“In the shower?”
“Yes, of course in the shower, you silly,” you let out a giggle at his expression. Furrowed eyebrows and eyes like a dear caught in headlights.
After a moment he snapped out of it. “Uhm- yea, of course”
You didn’t need more convincing and swiftly shed your clothing. Stepping into the shower with Spencer, he stepped aside so you could get under the warm stream. You could feel the insecurity practically radiating off Spencer, so you made the first stepped and wrapped your arms around him, engulfing him into a warm hug, your arms meeting behind his head. Your boyfriend immediately relaxes into your hold, his hands instinctively wrapping around your waist.
“Well, hello there pretty boy,” you whisper against his lips before finally connecting them and kissing him.
Not wanting this to go further you lean back again, tracing a droplet of water that made its way over his face with your finger. Spencer still had his eyes closed from the kiss, his head now slightly leaning back and enjoying your gentle touches. He would gladly entertain this as long as you kept your hands on him.
He opened his eyes again, leaned forward and placed a short but lingering kiss on your lips. With gentle hands he led you under the stream again, before reaching for his bottle of shampoo. You quickly noticed what he was about to do and interrupted him with a quick wait!
He looked at you, puzzled. “Let me,” you tell him with a smile on your face.
You grab the bottle of shampoo out of the genius’ hand before squeezing a generous amount of it into your hand, softly lathering it up in your hands, before letting them glide though his brown locks.
Spencer couldn’t believe that something so simple, so mundane and casual could be this intimate and could feel oh so good. He couldn’t remember a time where washing his hair felt like something that connected you two, that made him really feel the connection between you.
Your hands felt heavenly in his hair, softly massaging the shampoo into his scalp. Spencer had closed his eyes again, only letting out a sigh in surprise when you start placing soft little kisses all over his wet face, your hands never halting their motion in his hair. He occasionally let out little groans – especially when you slightly pulled on certain strands of his hair – but also didn’t complain when you pull him under the warm spray of the shower to wash out the shampoo.
Still, he was almost sad about the fact that you would have to leave the shower and this perfect moment soon.
Thankfully, you reached for his bottle of conditioner, repeating your little routine or what Spencer strongly hoped would become one. The whole time he felt like he was floating, already in heaven, with your hands in his hair and your lips on his face.
This feeling only intensified when you took his bar of soap and slowly started to lather up his body with the most gentle hands. They wandered over his arms, into his armpits, over his torso, the top of his thighs and after just as gently turning him around also over his back.
Your boyfriend turned around again, and when you pulled him under the water to rinse off the soap, you pressed yourself against him, making him chuckle.
Now, he couldn’t just let your time stop here. He insisted on doing the same thing for you. With quiet whispered instructions and just as many sweet nothings, he managed to follow your hair care routine, definitely taking inspiration from you when he also started leaving kisses on your face.
When it was time to leave his new safe heaven, he wasn’t quite as sad anymore. He only thought about the fact that he got to curl up with you under the comforter now and hold you in his arms again.
And maybe, just maybe, take a shower with you again, tomorrow.
a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated! i’d like to write more with criminal minds characters, so if you have any ideas/requests lmk!!
please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueen
requests open! also if you want to be added to my taglist, just reach ou!
taglist: @silvermagnolias@milywatermelon@BigBananaa some other people that interacted with my initial post: @lleomoon @annebirdwhistles @miriamnox @vaaaeeeee @reidrot @nnab @futuremrsreid
#x reader#reader insert#ao3#love#fluff#no y/n#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x reader fluff#showering#showering together#casual intimacy#fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction
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can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 14
Or: a secret Admirer AU
TW: homophic language used due to internalized homophobia
PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10 || PART 11 || PART 1 || PART 13
Steve doesn’t know what’s worse, not being able to see the expression on Eddie’s face, or the moment he turns around and he can see it. He looks like Steve just shot his dog. But, wouldn’t Chrissy be the dog in that metaphor? Steve drops it before Robin can somehow sense his train of thought and burst into the room with the sole purpose of punching him.
“So, what?” Eddie asks, voice sharp and angry. “This was all just some joke? Pick on the freak? Make him think a pretty girl actually likes him?”
Any sadness he’d been feeling is wiped off his face now, masked over with a tired sort of rage. It’s tempting to go along with Eddie’s assumptions. Yes, it was all just a joke. Yes, they’d all been laughing behind his back for weeks on end. After all, Eddie doesn’t look hurt, he looks pissed.
But, it’s too late. Steve had already seen the anguish in Eddie’s eyes before he’d banked it.
“No,” Steve murmurs, only noticing that Eddie’s mid-tirade when he stops talking. His head’s buzzing too loud to hear much else. “It wasn’t a joke.”
Eddie scoffs, waiting in pointed silence until Steve raises his head and meets his eyes. “Then how do you explain all this?” He gyrates his hand around the room, encompassing all four of their bodies with jerky movements. “Huh, Harrington?”
Steve swallows. He hopes it’s not as audible to everyone else as it is in his own ears, but by the way Eddie’s gaze snaps down to it before pulling back up to meet his eyes again, that hope is futile.
“I just—” Steve starts, forcing himself to keep looking at Eddie, even as his eyes flay him open. “It wasn’t supposed to get this complicated.”
“What does that mean?” Eddie asks, gritting out every word, body leaning toward Steve like he wants to reach across the distance between them and strangle him.
“I just like you, okay?” Steve snaps. Eddie jerks back like he’d just taken a blow. “I liked you, and I thought this would be a good way to, I don’t know, work through it?”
“You like me?” Eddie asks, almost laughing, just like that day in the cafeteria when he was singling out the jocks, just like he always does when something’s not funny but he’s pretending it is.
It hurts anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Steve mutters, staring down at his own lap, unable to look at anyone in the room. “I didn’t mean to make it your problem.”
“Didn’t mean to—” Eddie snaps, and Steve sees an abrupt enough movement that Steve’s afraid Eddie’s going to hit him. Steve jerks back into the couch, heartbeat rabbiting in his chest, but all Eddie’s done is stand, hands clenched, mouth snarling. “How the hell is tricking me into thinking Chrissy Cunningham liked me not making it my problem?”
“Eddie—“ Jeff cuts in, tone a warning, but Eddie doesn’t even seem to notice.
“You really think that’s ‘not making it my problem?’” Eddie asks, throwing finger quotations around it mockingly as he glares down at Steve. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Steve feels small, wishes he was smaller—he wants to sink into the cracks of the Munson’s ratty couch and never be seen again. This moment is too much for him.
He’s known ever since that moment in the cafeteria when Eddie’d pressed his lips to Chrissy’s hand that they’d end up here. He knew, but he’d kept writing the letters, kept Chrissy embroiled into his mess. Chrissy who’s standing silent and shocked behind Eddie, hand pressed to her mouth as Steve’s mess implodes around him.
“I’m sorry,” Steve replies, voice small. He’s not sure if he’s talking to Eddie, or Chrissy, or hell, even Jeff. He just knows that he really, truly is sorry.
“You’re sorry?” Eddie demands, and he’s pacing now, hands fisted into his own hair. “You’re sorry for what? For derailing my life? For making me think someone might actually like me? For what?”
Steve doesn’t say anything as he watches Eddie’s movements become more frenetic. He’s pulling his hair hard now, and all Steve wants to do is reach out and grab Eddie’s hands, make him stop hurting himself. But, it’s not his place, so he clenches his hands into fists atop his own thighs and looks up at the boy he likes unraveling at the seams. Because of him.
“The first time a girl actually likes me and it’s you.” It lands like venom, leaching through all the sinew and bone of Steve’s body and turning his beating heart into a pulpy mess. “What, you thought just because everyone calls me a freak that I’d be a quee—”
“Eddie!” It’s Chrissy and Jeff, both shouting out at the same time, clearly trying to get Eddie to stop talking before he says something irreversible.
It’s too late: Steve’s already heard him.
He doesn’t know what his own face is doing, but when Eddie finally looks at him, his face goes white, then turns sort of green like he’s going to be sick. When he takes a halting step forward, Steve can’t help the way he presses further into the couch, hands shaking where they’re still clenching in his lap.
He wants to scream, or cry, or die so he doesn’t have to do this anymore. But, Eddie’s right, this is all his fault, so the least he can do is offer up an explanation.
“It’s not Chrissy’s fault,” Steve says, looking down at his own shaking hands, willing them to lie still. “Or Jeff’s. I dragged them into this, so don’t be mad at them, okay?”
“Steve—” Chrissy says, voice choking with emotion.
“I was afraid.” Steve talks right over her, doesn’t even look her way. He can’t, or he’ll break. “But, that’s no excuse for making you have to deal with my bullshit.”
“Steve,” Chrissy tries again.
“I’m sorry.” Steve finally looks up from his lap, meeting Eddie’s fathomless eyes. “I’ll leave you alone now.”
Steve gets up on shaky legs and walks to the trailer’s front door, giving Eddie a wide berth. No one says anything as he makes his way through the small living room, or when he opens the door and steps through.
It’s only as the door’s shutting closed behind him that he hears Eddie say, “Shit Harrington, wait.”
Steve doesn’t. He walks down the Munson’s drive and straight out of the trailer park.
No one follows him.
***
The silence hangs like a noose in the trailer after the click of the door closing quietly behind Harrington’s drooping frame. Eddie stares into nothing, entirely blank.
“That was cruel.” It’s Chrissy who says it. Chrissy, who pretended to like him, who led him on, who…was just trying to protect her friend.
“Not any crueler than he was to me,” Eddie mutters, still staring at the closed door feeling inexplicably like he should run after him.
Instead, he turns his back on the door and tries to forget the slope of Harrington’s shoulders as he’d walked out on him.
His brain’s full of fog, emotions swirling around too quickly for him to catch any of them. He can’t make sense of any of this. Not Chrissy who pretended to like him or Steve Harrington, who actually did, not—
“You—” Eddie starts, eyes focusing as something else takes over his brain as he sets his sights on Jeff. “You knew?”
Jeff grimaces, but straightens his spine and tilts his chin up like Eddie’s the enemy now. “Yeah,” he says, all flippant, as if Eddie’s world isn’t shattering around his feet. “I knew.”
Eddie laughs, can’t help it with the way anger’s pooling in his gut. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“It was Steve’s secret to te—”
“Screw Steve!” Eddie shouts, suddenly enough that Chrissy takes a startled step back. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
Jeff scoffs, stepping in front of Chrissy. “Your friend?” he demands with an incredulous laugh that makes Eddie want to strangle him. “You didn’t even tell me about the letters in the first fucking place!”
He stomps forward, coming at Eddie like he’s going to do—something, Eddie will never know what because Chrissy wraps her arm around his waist and pulls him back with a chiding, worried, “Jeff.”
Eddie stares at the way her fingers curl proprietarily into the fabric of his t-shirt, the way he steadies under her touch and takes a step back, the way he stands in the cradle of her hold like it’s his birthright.
“Hold—hold on,” Eddie says, holding his hand out like that’ll stop the dots from connecting in his own mind. “Are you two—”
He doesn’t finish the thought, can’t put words to what he’s accusing them of, not right now. But, as he flails his fingers between them, they both look at the floor, in goddamn sync, even with their own guilt. “Are you fucking serious right now?”
Anger’s always been Eddie’s worst enemy; he’s pretty sure it’s an inherited trait from his pa, the way rage makes his blood boil, makes him take things too far, makes him react like verbal words are a physical threat. Just like his pa, no matter how much he doesn’t want to be.
“So, you what?” he asks, whole body shaking with the force of his anger. “Decided to lead me on while fucking my best friend?”
He laughs, sharp and mean when Chrissy jerks like he slapped her. He clenches his fist against the desire to do just that.
“You don’t get to talk to her like that,” Jeff replies quietly, like that’ll make him the reasonable one.
“Fuck o—“
“You don’t own her,” Jeff interrupts him, Eddie screams in his throat, wild with the fire burning through him.
Jeff sighs, low and disappointed, just like Uncle Wayne does if Hop picks Eddie up for some trumped-up charges, or he fails another pop quiz, or he brings in more money he can’t explain to his Uncle.
The thought of Wayne is what does him in. Even in absentia, that old man brings him back to himself. Eddie shudders, takes a step back and stares at the carpet beneath his toes, trying to bank his anger back beneath his ribs where it can’t hurt anyone else.
“I’m sorry we hurt you,” Jeff continues, voice soft, soft soft. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was going on. But Eddie?”
It takes a long moment for Eddie to drag gaze away from his own feet and up to Jeff’s face. Jeff waits, silent, until Eddie meets his eyes.
“You need to figure your own shit out, too,” he says gently. “Because if you don’t? You’re going to hurt everyone around you, not just Steve.”
Eddie looks back at the door Harrington—Steve—had walked through, feelings twisting around on themselves until they’re choking him.
“Harrington,” Eddie starts, throat catching on the consonants of his name like it’d been years since he last spoke. “Did he really—?”
He can’t finish this thought either, hopes Jeff or Chrissy will pluck it from his mind and answer it for him.
“Like you?” Jeff asks, waiting for Eddie to nod his assent before answering. “Yeah, man. He does.”
The present tense is what does him in. Does. Steve Harrington, king of the jocks, liar, boy, likes him. Enough to write letters to him. He doesn’t know what to do with this, where to put it in the reality of his life.
“Oh.”
“You can’t tell anyone, Eddie,” Chrissy says, taking a step around Jeff to look up at Eddie with pleading eyes. “They’ll kill him.”
It’s only then, staring at the terror on Chrissy’s face, that the magnitude of the secret he’s just learned sinks in. Harrington, lady-killer, probable prom king, jock extraordinaire, is queer.
The vindictive part of Eddie he tries to keep caged wants to sling this around— Harrington’s just comeuppance for every time he’s made the rest of them feel less than, feel like a freak. But, even with his anger barely banked, Eddie knows the punishment wouldn’t fit the crime.
Harrington had, what? Laughed snidely behind Hagan after standing by while he’d seen a nerd get his books knocked out of his hands? Had been born with a perfect face and perfect hair in a castle of a house, so he’d been idolized for it.
Telling wouldn’t take that all away—it’d leave Harrington dead.
Even Hagan doesn’t deserve that.
So, all Eddie says is, “I won’t,” quietly, hoping she believes him.
She sighs, slumping into Jeff, trusting him to hold her up. Eddie doesn’t want to see it anymore; he can’t be in the same room as those two and not let the fire in his blood bleed through to his words.
He stands, stiff, unsure, and asks, “can you guys just go?”
“Eddie—“
“Jeff, please,” Eddie asks, voice breaking on the last word.
“Okay.”
Jeff ushers Chrissy out of his trailer and, just before the door shuts behind him, Eddie calls out, “Jeff?”
“Yeah, buddy?” Jeff calls back, not turning back around, not closing the door.
“I’ll call you,” he says, hoping it’s loud enough for his friend to hear. “Okay?”
Jeff doesn’t point out the lack of time frame or the way Eddie’s voice shakes. He’s good like that, always has been, no matter how mad they get at each other. “You call, and I’ll pick up.”
Without another word, Jeff lets the door close. Eddie stands there stationary until he hears the sound of a car starting, kicking up gravel all the way out of the trailer park. Only then, does he collapse onto the couch and bury his head in his hands.
It’s a mistake—the pressure of his hand making pain bloom hard and fast on the bruise on his eyes. Eddie groans, tired, in pain, and completely done. He wants Uncle Wayne to brush his hair out of his face, wants Jeff to sit at his side, or Gareth to light a joint for him, or Chrissy to bump their shoulders together.
He wants—
The bag of frozen peas Harrington had handed him have gone mushy and warm.
The trailer’s quiet, and Eddie’s all alone.
PART 15
#koko's steddie secret admirer au#steddie#my fic#the moment you were all waiting for. now it's just ow ow ow ow
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