#wanted to add that i was talking about how beautiful the existence of poker night at the inventory is and this post came to me like a vision

[necr0maru]

transmascs meeting up for brunch look like this

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Wrath and Rage

Wrath x reader

Word Count: 1762

Summary: Wrath already had a queen when he was summoned to Emilia’s side. Needless to say she wasn’t happy about his absence. 

Note: He’s hot, and I had a plot bunny. don’t worry about it

You didn’t bother to hide the laugh that bubbled up from your throat at what your husband just told you. “So you got spooked and dropped your knife, is that it?”

Those golden eyes of his seemed to glow with irritation as he looked over at you. “Well, I don’t exactly want humans to know I’m around, now do I?”

This time you scoffed. “If some little witch managed to figure out that she’d just laid eyes on Prince Wrath himself based on that teensy little interaction, I’d want to meet her and shake her hand.”

“But the knife--”

“Is no indication of who you are on its own, and you damn well know it.” You slid your hands down the front of his shirt, fingers deftly opening it button by button. “Relax, my darling. You’ve been running around like a chicken with your head cut off about this whole Pride thing for so long. I’ve hardly seen you in weeks.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s a lie, and you know it.”

You did. The trips never took very long at all, after all, but you still missed him. Before this it’d been centuries since he’d been away from you in the human world for any real length of time. “Be that as it may . . .” You slid the shirt off of him and allowed your fingers to trail down the golden snake on his left arm, a mark that had an exact twin on your own skin. “All you have to do,” you kissed that shoulder, “in order to keep Pride’s whole search,” this kiss was to his neck, “a secret,” jaw, “is get it back before the little witch does anything stupid.” That last bit was whispered next to his ear.

Then his lips were suddenly on yours, as demanding as ever as he shoved you against the wall. He tugged at the laces to your pants while his lips moved to your neck.

“See what you miss when you’re--” your teasing voice cut off when the heat of his body suddenly disappeared, “gone.” You opened your eyes. Sure enough, Wrath was nowhere to be found. Anger flared through you, its presence making the shadows writhe around you.

The only reason he would leave like that would be a summoning, something out of his control. And the only person dumb enough to summon a prince of Hell would be that. Fucking. Witch. Rage, the emotion your power stemmed from, swelled throughout your body.

She will pay for this.

~

Little did you know that in the human realm, your husband was thinking something similar. 

The combination of Emilia’s staring and the searing mark that’d appeared on his normally-clear arm set his teeth on edge. It shouldn’t be possible, a second betrothal spell in addition to the already fulfilled one he had with you--willingly, he might add--; yet there it was. Moon-shaped and clashing with his color scheme.

Still, he didn’t let on to what it truly meant. Odds were good that it wouldn’t amount to anything anyway, especially if he had a say. And if it did . . . Heaven help the woman that had to face the ire of the Queen of House Wrath.

~

In your time spent forcefully separated from each other, you and Wrath found yourselves weaving a complicated web to end this stupid endeavor in your favor, not the way Emilia wanted. And as soon as she agreed to marry Pride, your victory was sealed. Hours before that, when he’d died in the human realm, Wrath explained fully what had been going on since the messengers that’d been frantically flitting between you two could only convey so much, and you’d spent the time planning the final pieces of this battle of wits.

And enjoying each other’s company, but that was neither here nor there.

When it came time for Wrath to retrieve her, you lounged on the bed as he dressed, crown and all. “You can’t kill her when we return,” Wrath was saying while you watched him.

Your eyes moved to stare hatefully where their mark of betrothal used to reside. “I am aware,” you bit out.

“Are you?” There was an evil little smirk on his face when he turned to look at you. “Because your shadow seems to have other ideas.”

Sure enough, when you glanced down you saw that your shadow seemed to be holding a knife. Always the cause of your bad poker face, that thing. With a flare of gold in your eyes, you brought the shadow back under control, and it resumed being a silhouetted version of you, nothing more. The frown that’d been on your face since this mess started though, that stayed stubbornly in place.

Wrath took that as his cue to sweep closer elegantly, fingers trailing lightly down the golden body of the snake on your arm. “I swore to you the day we married that no one would ever come between us, did I not?”

“You did.” And Hell if your voice didn’t sound sullen despite yourself. You wanted to be unbothered by this. Truly, you did. But it was just so . . . unsettling to hear that someone had (however ignorantly) tried to steal him from you.

His free hand drifted over to grab the crown that still rested on the duvet. Your crown. The match to his own with spikes sharp enough to kill a man if you so chose. “Have I ever given reason for you to doubt that vow?”

“You haven’t.” That was true. A demon like Lust might have warranted such a fear, but Wrath was another kind of beast, an honest one. At least when it mattered. Mattered to you, that is. A warmth settled in your chest as your fingers moved to lightly hold his.

“Then why are you doubting me now?” his lips were pressed to your temple and he placed the crown on your head as he murmured the question.

Moments like this you remembered why you married him with perfect clarity. For the first time since he was stolen weeks ago a heat other than rage burned through you like a flashfire. “It’s not that I doubt you,” you said, turning so you could see his fierce, golden eyes. “It’s that I hate her.”

“Soon enough she will be Pride’s problem,” he soothed, “not ours.”

“Good,” you snarled before sealing your lips against his.

~

If Wrath’s lips were swollen suspiciously when he stepped out of the shadows to bring her to Pride, Emilia couldn’t work up the courage to comment on it. She was already in this mess with these demons so much deeper than she ever expected; she didn’t think her heart could take the stress of picking that particular fight on top of everything else. Besides, they weren’t bonded anymore; it wasn’t any of her business who he did or didn’t kiss.

Still, for some reason her heart stung at the thought of him with someone else after all they’d been through together.

But then they were bantering like it was all normal.

And then she was trying to scream in agony as it felt like someone lit her soul ablaze.

And then they were standing in a throne room steeped in black and gold and red.

This wasn’t House Pride, she realized abruptly. These were Wrath’s colors through and through.

“You’ll have to forgive the brief stop here,” a woman’s voice called Emilia’s attention to the front of the room. She was beautiful. Leather pants, a billowing shirt, boots that looked artfully worn-in, all steeped in nothing but black. The only spot of color in her wardrobe was the golden crown atop her head. A flash of gold on the back of her hand drew Emilia’s attention. “A prince of Hell like my husband can only travel directly from the human realm to his home. An envoy from Pride awaits outside to escort you to your Betrothed.”

Emilia’s ears started and were still ringing at the word ‘husband’ by the time she finished talking. The gold she’d noticed on her hand. It was an exact copy of the snake she’d seen on Wrath’s body the night she summoned him. Confusion lanced through her. “What--”

You laughed, cutting her off. This was rich. “You never stopped to wonder what the mark on his other arm was?” You rose from your seat, shadows coiling around your feet menacingly. “You’re dumber than I thought.”

Emilia could only stare at the approaching figure, alarmed by the casual display of power as well as the pitch black veil surrounding her that was every bit as threatening as the black and gold one around Wrath. She had to fight to retain any form of dignity and stay carefully neutral-faced when Wrath’s hand settled on the woman’s lower back in a display so casual it couldn’t have been faked.

“How terrible to meet you,” you scoffed. “You can call me Rage.”

A fitting emotion for such a terrifying queen, Emilia supposed.

“I think it goes without saying that if I ever see you lurking around my husband again, not even your betrothal to my brother-in-law will save you.”

Said husband had a look of evil smugness on his handsome face that made Emilia recoil a little. Then a thought occurred to her. “If you already have a queen, then why--”

“Was everyone pushing me to make it official with you?” Wrath cut her off, one eyebrow arching. “That answer is quite simple if you think about it.”

“Which is exactly why she hasn’t figured it out,” you smirked. “They don’t like me because I’m not intimidated by them just existing as princes of Hell.” You turned to face Wrath, loving the automatic way his eyes trailed over your form heatedly. He’d been worked up since the two of you dressed; there hadn’t been time to burn off some of the aggression that danced within both of you. “ Now,” you addressed her even as your hand moved to cup his face, thumb skimming along his cheekbone appreciatively, “you’ve robbed me of Wrath here for quite long enough on top of forcing me to singlehandedly deal with the idiocy of lower demons. You’re lucky I don’t kill you for the former, and I hate you even more for the latter, so kindly get the hell out of House Wrath.”

You didn’t spare the girl a glance as a guard moved to escort her out. No, you only had eyes for your husband . . . at least until your eyes closed when you dragged him down for a bruising kiss.

[pollyna]

A concept: Leonard H. McCoy is a good dad. Four hundred fifty people can confirm it and one, eventually two, kid is going to tell him.

For the first two years Jim doesn't really know how or why Leonard's marriage has ended, but he knows it was a sad and awful affair that messed up Bones pretty bad. And he knows, just because he can snoop like no one else in the entire galaxy, that there's a kid in Georgia, her name is Joanna Elizabeth and she loves green and she is almost four. He knows that Bones talks to her every time he can, goes home every weekend he isn't on rotation at the clinic, doesn't forget a birthday or any kind of recitals she does. He can't be there, not as much as he likes, but he always sent a flower or two to make sure his baby girl knows how proud he his of her. Still when the-ex, whom Jim refuses to learn the name, calls in the middle of the evening and says "you're a really shitty father Leonard" and Leonard agrees with her, Jim would like the break something or to shake Bones up because how could that woman think Bones is a bad father? What does she knows about bad and worst fathers? About being forget by their own mother to a person they'll never call dad and who makes them want to run, runrunrunrunrunrunrun, every time something is slightly off? Because they now, he knows, that when he's going to realize what's wrong is gonna be the end. And if not by his hands it will be by his words and they never really gonna forget what he said to them. Not after five minutes and not in ten years. What Bones is a bad father because he is not with his daughter every day? Is he a bad dad even when he calls her daughter after almost forty hours of shift, with tears in his eyes because he lost one to many patient, but seeing his little girl is more important than anything else? Is he a bad dad because the ex wants him to be so bad so she'll have an excuse to cut him off once and for all or she is just mean? Jim knows Bones isn't a perfect dad but he also knows that "perfect" dads are shiny dreams of stars, starship and broken promises that got lost in the death and broken debris. Perfect dads are the one who leave behind them empty graves and so much grief a life time won't be enough to process it all. So the ex should give Bones a little more credit and maybe, maybe, Bones himself is gonna start believing he can be a good dad for Joanna.

The fact is the never really talk about dads, not when they're sober at least. They don't talk about a lot of things but they're getting better on that side. The first fathers' day on the ship come and go, Leonard and Hikaru share a drink and spend the night talking about their girls. Later Bones will tell him that Sulu is a great dad™, trying to say the tm too but pronouncing something similar to t-n, but every one is a better father than he is. 'M just a shitty excuse for a dad, Jimmy. And oh, that makes Jim tear a little, but he doesn't answer because Bones is already asleep.

For the second one their in the middle of a diplomatic mission, too many light years away from Earth, and not even Sulu remembers of it. Still Jim kisses Bones before cuddling with him that night. They still don't talk about it but is a little better than the previous year.

The third year Jim is dead. Joanna is ten and she calls him uncle Jim. The ex, he knows her name is Jocelyn but still the ex, calls at least twice a week and she says she is sorry about some things she said when he was at the Academy. Jim is still dead when all of it happens but he is alive, weak as a new born but alive, when Bones confesses to him that maybe, just maybe, he is not a bad dad. At least not as bad as he used to think. Jim consider it a victory on his personal agenda.

The fourth father's day they share a drink in his private quarter before Hikaru can drag Bones away for their annual "cake and I-have-so-many-feelings-about-my-baby girl" but, when he comes back, he's sober and he's still laughing. Joanna calls the next day and she screams his name so loud even Scotty, five decks under theirs, can hear it. What she is saying is dad I love you, thank you for the present oh god but what they get is a dadiloveyouthankyou! And it's the first time Joanna says "happy fathers' day uncle Jim!" Bones spends the rest of the night kissing him as if he's the treasure.

Th fifth year, the last one before they're going to spend six to nine months on earth, Bones is quiet for a week. He's still kissing him every time he can, bitching with Spock and playing poker on Wednesday will all the senior crew but he's just sad. It's Bones himself that solves the mystery: "Last week one of the new technician, the one we picked from the end of the Alpha Quadrant almost a year ago?, came in for xe physic and xe leaves me a note? Like a paper one, with little doodles all over the page, colorful little, beautiful things and xe wrotes, in Standard, that xe is grateful to know me and xe things I did more to help xem to settle in and learn to live in the middle of so many new species than anyone else. Xe said working here is like starting a new life for xe and I took the role of xem dad? And it wasn't the last card I received! Other eight people left their physic giving me strange, colorful and hilarious pieces of paper wishing me a great dad's day. And then Spock comes in today and he hugs me, a legit hug Jim!, and he says that he will be honored if I could accept to be the godfather of a child who doesn't exist yet, because he can't thing about another human he could trust for the role. And they all are all the faith in the galaxy in me when I don't, not in the role of father at least, and it's unsettling and makes me want to hide away until they realize I'm not that great and I'll let them down."

"I have the best crew in the galaxy or didn't I? So Bonesy you have to trust them when they say and do things like that. And babe, you deserve it. I know you don't believe it but it's true" he concludes kissing him on his lips.

(Bones saves every single one of the card he receives inside a box he takes with him when they arrive on Earth and leave it with his mom because space and danger and all that stuff.)

The sixth, seventh, eighth father's day are spent in different places all over the Alpha and Beta quadrant, trying to meet new species and learn new things. Some of them are the best kind of day, where Bones talks to Jo, kisses Jim until he becomes a little more stupid and in love with this man, and once he even plays chess with Spock and Uhura. Others are not so good but Bones&Hikaru tradition helps more than anything else.

On the ninth Bones is cuddling a new born who lost his parents during a raid on their home planet. "We should adopt him" Jim proposes during dinner and "it's the most logical course of action to take doctor" adds Spock. "Oh hell" is the only thing Bones says before requesting the papers for adoption.

(It's not the only thing he says because they discuss it for hours, because they're afraid to fuck up everything and he is just a baby and he already their world. They've been married long enough to trust they're going to do this together but is all new and terrifying just as exciting.)

For the eleventh father's day they're on Jupiter, Joanna's eighteen and Samuel's two and they spend all day at the park near the Starfleet Center, with the Sulu's. Bones is laughing at something Ben said and Jim looks at him and he is just grateful to do this, having a family, rising a child and exploring space with this wonderful man.

[ifyoucouldholdme]

Brave Angel

Words: 2735

Read on AO3

Bill had a collection of journals. It began with a large lined composition notebook from his little brother, Georgie.  The cardboard cover, ornamented with a menagerie of sailboat stickers and blue stars drawn in crayon.

“It’s for you to keep track of all of those stories you tell me,” the boy had cheered when Bill tore away newspaper wrapping. Bill smiled softly in gratitude, but Georgie knew it was the perfect gift when he discovered that Bill had filled over half of the notebook over the following week.

That was the last present Georgie had given him before that summer. Before the sewers. Before It. While the pages were now yellowed and lovingly worn, the journal remained unfinished. Bill couldn’t bring himself to add to it, leaving it preserved in a time when that precious child still smiled, much as his parents had preserved his room in the years after.

So Bill bought more journals. Over the years, he amassed quite a collection of folios and notebooks. Leatherback, spiral-bound, handcrafted, and dollar store brand alike overflowed the shelves of his dorm in no particular order.

 “Damn Bill,” an already tipsy Richie whistled when he spotted the piles. “I know you’re a writer, but do we need to hold an intervention? Eds has been binge-watching Hoarders, so I’ve absorbed some stuff through osmosis.” Stan, gliding past the louder than usual Trashmouth, to the one and only actual chair in the room, threw him a “Beep, beep. This is Bill’s personal space, don’t be rude.” Bill shot him a grateful look. He absolutely adored Richie. Out of all the Losers, the lanky goofball understood him the best. He was even the first person that Bill spoke to after they lost Georgie. But it was nice to have Stan nearby, since he could maneuver Richie like no one else. Just a given glance and a soft spoken word was all that he needed to let Richie know when teasing was close to drifting into inadvertently cruel, and Bill admired about him. In fact, he admired more than Stan’s interpersonal skills.

The look had lasted long enough that Bill knew no one would believe him if he called it anything but a stare. Stan didn’t seem to mind though, smirking and sending an unexpected wink in reply.

           Bill’s breath caught in his chest. His fingers twisted knots into his bedspread. How could Stan not know the grip his existence alone had on the boy, much less such a gesture.

           “Have you thought that maybe he has so many journals because he wants to be an author?”

           “Well yeah,” Richie muttered, “but that’s a metric shit ton of books.” Bill chuckled softly at that. “I guess I do have quite a collection now. It’s mostly just fragments of stories and ideas.” That was only half true. Sure, some were just a place to dump the random assortment of thoughts and inspiration that he discovered throughout the day while others he reserved for more specific purposes.

           Stan gracefully swiveled around in the chair to face Bill, his gaze landing directly back into his own. “Have you ever thought about doing anything with them?” he inquired, absently toying a stray curl around his finger, on which Bill refused to fixate any further than he already had. As much as he tried to repress is growing infatuation with Stanley Uris, the author in him continued romanticize every little thing about him. He dreamt of those slender fingers intertwined with his. He yearned to wrap his arms around the boy and bury himself in that mop of autumn curls. An added touch, Stan had worn Bill’s favorite of his kippahs this day, sky blue to complement his somber eyes and embroidered with a small flock of turtle doves. Beautiful and swift, just like Stan.

           “Paging Big Bill! Hello?” Richie’s booming radio announcer voice, which had improved considerably since high school, blasted Bill back into the moment with an actually articulated, “Huh?”

           Richie, scrunching his brow a little in confusion said, “Stanny boy asked you something and you just stared at him.”

           Dammit Richie, shut up! Bill thought. Instead of shouting that and outing himself right then and there, he turned again to Stan. His gaze had not fallen, however Bill thought that there might have been a slightly rosier tint sprinkled across his normally pale cheeks. “Sorry St-Stan. What did you s-say?”

           “I asked if you planned to do anything with them. Like publish one or enter something in a contest. “Bill automatically reacted with a light scoff. “Nobody would want to publish those. I’m nowhere near good enough f-for that.”

           “Don’t do that, Bill.” Stan’s face wore a calculated blank expression, but he could see the dull frustration lingering just behind those glistening irises and the corner of his mouth. “You are more than you think.”

           He still disagrees, but he would do anything if it would make Stan happy, so he bites back any rebuttal.

           Richie, noticing the tension, jumps in to alleviate the energy hovering between the two. “ You ever show them to your professors? Maybe they could help you submit something to some creative writing shit or whatever.”

           Bill drops his head to stare now at his hands tracing invisible patterns in his bedspread.  “Except for G-Georgie, nobody ever cared enough to ask if they could read anything.” The silence that followed didn’t help the boulder he felt in his stomach.

           Richie didn’t even crack a joke, and he always had something to say regardless of the situation. Why didn’t Bill just agree and steer the conversation towards something less uncomfortable for the others? Maybe finding a party somewhere nearby or what all Richie had already drunk, or-

           “I’d like to read them.” Bill had never heard Stan’s voice so timid since they emerged from the sewers in their receding childhood. “I mean, if that’s ok,” Yes Stan, please, anything you want. “S-sure, Bill managed, “I g-guess so.” Richie leapt to the shelf with a “Hell yeah, man!” and grabbing the first few he saw, dropped onto the floor, fidgeting into the perfect reading position. Stan on the other hand, scanned through the books, tracing his fingers across every spine. The reddening light drifting in the only window outlined every contour of his face, even the pocked craters of scar tissue lining each side from temples to jawline. Normally he was acutely aware of these souvenirs left from that summer, actively avoiding his reflection and constantly rubbing the marks as if he tried hard enough then he could wipe them away like a splattering of mud. Today must have been one of his better days, because Bill had only caught him once briefly brush a small scar on his left cheek. Stan eventually settled on a small pocket journal, one filled with fragments of a fantasy novel Bill had attempted a year or two ago. The room hushed again, this time they welcomed the shared silence in amicable comfort.

             By night fall, they were still deep in the mass of Bill’s literary work. Richie lay upside down on the floor skimming through his fifth selection, pausing intermittently to give his commentary. Stan had finally finished the first journal, now absorbing a collection of short horror stories. Over time he had gradually moved to a new perch on the foot of Bill’s bed, his posture still as straight as if he had still been in the desk chair. Bill curled himself against the headboard with his favorite sketchpad. Stanley’s rapt expression and relaxed half smile had inspired him too much to ignore, plus he had the perfect match to the blue of Stan’s kippah in his pastel set. He wished every moment could be like this. Special peace spent with his oldest friend and his…crush? Or whatever he could call the boy in his bed. The boy on his bed. That realization forced him to slump behind his sketchpad. He would be mortified if Stan discovered the furious blush radiating from his cheekbones. “What the hell, Billiam?” Richie suddenly erupted from underneath a somewhat forgotten collection of Bill’s attempts at poetry, startling the other two from their silent focus. “You told me you were finally over Bev!” At this point Stan would inevitably see Bill’s flushed face, for now he grew even redder in embarrassment.

           “Yeah,” he growled through a clenched jaw, “and I also told you that in confidence.” He tried to glance silently to see Stan’s reaction, but that infamous Uris poker face was back. “Seriously Bill, writing a whole poem about how beautiful she is and wanting to protect her and never leave her and shit doesn’t sound like being over her.” What love poem was he talking about? Although he had fallen for Beverly when they first met, he never really wrote anything about her.

           “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Stan interjected, “Beverly is definitely amazing.” His gaze held still, but there was a hint of something in his voice that Bill couldn’t quite comprehend. “You two would be good together.” His eyes stayed glued to the bed beneath them.

           “It’s much cheesier than I would’ve thought for a Denbrough original. Check it Stan, “ Richie continued then, putting on a voice he claimed as his Masterpiece Theater voice and read an excerpt.

 “My Brave Angel.

How can I show you what you mean

You hide your face

When all I want is to see your smile”

             Bill didn’t remember writing anything like this about her. He didn’t ever feel anything more than an adolescent infatuation with Bev or anyone. In fact, the only person he could say he ever truly loved was-

           “Here’s the part I don’t get,” Richie said in his own voice before jumping back into his recital,

 “When the doves rest in your hair

I wish that I could grow wings

Wrapped inside your autumn locks

I wish that I could live there.”

           Oh shit, THAT poem.

“But Bev doesn’t have curly hair, at the most it’s a little wavy, not like Stan’s frigging tumbleweed of a mop over there. That’s what curls look like Bill.” Richie jerks to a halt, the puzzle in his thoughts clicking together into the full image. For once, his words left him, his rant defaulting to a low, “uhhh…”

The boys tentatively look to Stan. “Oh please, let him not understand, “Bill futily prayed to God or the turtle or whomever was listening, “Please let him!”

Stan’s hand was timidly grazing the raised figures of the doves adorning his kippah, a dreadfully endearing braille.

“Shit, he understands.” Bill desperately wanted to deny everything, to say it was about a girl in his Bio lab, Ha ha Trashmouth, you’re too drunk to know what you’re talking about. Stan, isn’t he crazy? But his throat sealed shut and his tongue grew enormously heavy, just waiting for a laugh or sound or anything from Stan. He didn’t expect the trembling insecurity in their heartbreaking eyes or the wet trails slowly tracking down from them. Richie’s grown jumped to a buzzing hum upon seeing Stan’s tears. In a gangly mess of limbs, he leapt off the floor and with a frantic, “I need another drink,” bolted down the hall. Neither of the remaining two acknowledged the puzzled yells of “Shit, shit, shit, Eddie! I fucked up bad!”

They just sat on the bed, each unable to look the other in the eyes. Bill’s pulse drowned every other sound in his ears. He hates me now. He’s going to leave me behind and never speak to me again. Why do I have to write down every fucking feeling? “S-Stan. P-p-please say s-something” he managed despite his mouth repressing his words. He flinched as Stan met his gaze. Those beautiful eyes held even more of that undescriptive thing, forcing such an anxiety upon him as he hadn’t felt since the poor child disappeared into the mass of sewer pipes they’ve tried to repress.

“Is it true Bill?” Stan asked, his lips tight, but a barely noticeable tremor breaking through his voice. “Did you write this about me?”

Say no Bill. Say no and let him forget it. Dear God, I can’t lose him. Instead all of the fear and embarrassment and shame rushed up and vomited out in a frenzy of stutters and sobs. “I’m s-so sorry S-Stan. N-n-nobody ever r-reads my journals. S-so I thought it’d b-b-be s-safe. P-please d-don’t hate m-me.  I just l-like you s-so much, p-please d-d-d-don’t, “Spit it out Bill, spit it out before he runs away, “p-please don’t l-l-l-“ Then his panic overcame him and the only noises he cried out were violent sobs as he lost any dignity he had left. “Oh God, he’s never going to speak to me again.

In the throes of his shaking, he vaguely noticed arms embracing his crumbling frame and supporting his head. The warmth pressed against him soothed his manic hyperventilation, and Stan’s voice, although breaking in tears itself, brought him back down to relative stability.

“You’re ok, Bill, you’re ok. Please don’t cry. Just breathe with me, ok?” Bill obeyed, inhaling the scent of peppermint embedded in his crush’s dress shirt. After what felt like days, he finally whispered, “P-please don’t l-leave me…” The warmth and the mint receded much to Bill’s dismay, but Stan’s arms stayed. He leaned into the hand wandering through his hair, against his own better judgment.

“Bill, look at me.” Unwillingly, he did. Stan’s face looked just as disheveled as his must surely be. The boy looked hurt, striking pain through Bill’s shuddering chest.

“Why would I ever leave you?”

“B-b-because I’m g-g-g-“ he sputtered beginning to work himself up again when Stan pulled them flush against each other again. Bill let himself sink into that pressure and scent, shamefully enjoying the fingers gently stroking short trails across his shoulder blades and the crown of his scalp. Stan’s heart played a rapid pattern against his own ribs. His breath pressed against Bill’s beet red ear as he whispered so softly it may have been only a thought. “Me too, Bill.”

Everything stopped. The world froze and fell away leaving only the warmth and the mint and the rhythm. Bill lifted his head just far enough to connect their eyes, finally comprehending that mystery in Stan’s gaze. It was that same secret desire that tormented him.

“Did you mean it? Do you really want to see my smile?” The question dripped with such a self-deprecation it crushed Bill to think that Stan loathed himself to this degree. Throwing his own self-pity aside, he boldly put his hands on either side of Stan’s cheeks, thumbs tenderly sweeping over the dreadful marks laid there. With a strength and calm he forgot he knew, he said, “Scars or no, your smile is precious to me, and it kills me to see you try to hide it.”

This broke the calculated façade and Stan disintegrated in Bill’s hands. He cried at length, almost screaming as he finally let himself feel all those years of fear and abuse and longing. He sobbed until his voice gave out and only fell as rasping heaving sighs.

When the deluge ended, the two just lay on Bill’s comforter, drinking in each other’s embrace. Wrapped in the tangle of their arms, they tried to comprehend all that had happened over the past few hours. “Bill,” Stan was the first to disturb their quiet, “After…after I got there, I always thought that no one would ever be able to love me. Like even my own reflection is a constant reminder that I’m… I don’t know, broken”

Bill leaned closer into his…whatever Stan is to him now. “Stan,” he whispered, “You are even more beautiful now. You f-faced It alone, and you’re still here. And you still hit It with a f-fucking pipe.” He chuckled lovingly at the imagery. “You are the bravest of all of us. How could anyone see you as less than perfect?”

Stan hummed a still disbelieving yet pleased hum, snuggling against Bill. “You know, “he barely said, quietly giving himself over to exhausted sleep, “You’re reading the rest of that poem to me later.” Bill smiled the brightest smile he has since Georgie was alive.

“Of c-course I will, Stanley.” He quickly buried his face in the mass of curls like he always dreamed. “Of course I will.”

[flying-guinea-pig]

A friend like this (complete)

A/N: finally finished that Avarice AU ficlet! You know, that one where Stan became a demon instead of Dipper, and how that would influence the demonology gang’s story? I’ve started clearing out my draft folder. This one was closest to finished, but expect other drabbles to appear soon...

On AO3: A friend like this chapter 3

A friend like this

Poker Night had become a regular occurrence, pretty much since the first day of classes, when Lee spotted them at lunchtime.

"What are you playing for?" he'd asked.

Maria had shrugged. "Just points. Brad doesn't want to play for money."

"Not against you, you witch. Hi, I'm Brad by the way. I've seen you in class, I think?"

"Yep, he's the guy who slept all through Demonology 101," Maria had said. "Evergreen, isn't it? Deal you in?"

"Call me Lee. And yes." He'd taken a seat and turned to the table behind him, where another student had been sitting all by himself. "Hey, wanna be our fourth?"

The other kid had looked up. "Really? I mean - sure!"

He'd hurriedly changed seats and beamed at them. "My name is Eduardo. How does this game go?"

"I'll explain," Brad had promised. "Nice to meet you Eduardo."

"Such a mouthful," Maria had teased. "Can I call you Eddy instead?"

"Er, sure."

Lee had grinned and given him a playful punch to his shoulder. It was clearly meant as playful - it also left a slight bruise.

"Nah," he'd said. "I think you look more like a Soos."

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

---

Of course Lee was odd. No one could deny that.

It was a lot of things, but one of them was how he never seemed to study. Often he didn't even show up for class, coming back the next day - or next week - in the grumpiest mood ever. And yet his marks were the highest of their year, whenever he bothered to go. Higher even than those of the resident nerds, Adams and Strange.

"How do you do it, dude?" Eddy had asked once, struggling with an essay about low-level binding wards. "Are you some kind of genius or something?"

Lee had paused at that, a weird look crossing his face for a second. Then the smile returned. "I'm no genius, buddy. I just know some stuff. Do you need help with that essay?"

"Does a Multibear poop in the woods?"

"Let's see it then."

---

Lee spent so much time with the three of them, that all those oddities really started to stack up. Eventually even they had to figure it out.

"Let's play for something other than points or candy tonight," Maria said, shuffling the cards one Poker Night.

"Oh?" Lee asked. He sipped his beer and burped. "We're finally playing for money then? Your funeral! Hey Brad, how rich did you say your parents were again?"

"You're a real hoot," Brad said. "But no. We're playing for answers today."

"Answers? Ugh."

"Yep," Maria said. "Whoever loses has to answer a question truthfully from the winner. No evasions, no lies. Like playing truth-or-dare!"

"Last time we played truth or dare Eddy got stuck in a skylight for three hours."

"Yeah, we're not doing that again," Eddy added. "Please. It was so cold..."

"Well, how about it?" Maria said, her poker face already in place, a slight smile curling her lips. "Are you in or not, Lee?"

"What the hell, sure," Lee said, and met her eyes with a poker face of his own. "Bring it on."

Eddy was decent at poker - Brad was a disaster, either raising too much and scaring everyone off, or trying to bluff with a lousy hand. Usually the winnings went to either Lee or Maria, depending on which one of them got caught cheating the most.

Not tonight. Tonight Eddy and Brad flanked Maria, blatantly sitting close enough for her to peak at their cards before they folded. The first time could have been coincidence. The other times, not so much.

Lee cocked an eyebrow. "Are you three ganging up on me?"

"This isn't cheating," Maria said. "It's cooperative play."

"Don't bother, I've got a bad hand anyway. You win." He threw down his cards on the table and sat back, arms folded in front of him. "What's your question? Is it how many girls I've dated? What my most embarrassing memory is? It's something like that, right?"

"While I do wonder about some of those things..." She shook her head and met his eyes. "Are you the demon Mercuriat?"

Lee blinked. If they hadn't been watching so closely, they would have missed the momentary expression that slid over his face before being replaced by 'honest' surprise.

"What?" he said, sounding flabbergasted. "No, of course not. Heh, why would you even think such a thing! It's ridiculous. Why would a demon - a handsome, clever and powerful demon he is, sure - waste his time like this? Makes no sense. None at all. Heh, I won't even count this one as a question, ask another. Go on, ask another question."

"Not before I get a truthful answer to my first one," Maria said. "Nice try though. And why we think you're Mercuriat, well..."

"Your disappearances tend to coincide with news about Mercuriat destroying some evil cult," Brad said. "It, eh, was Eddy who pointed that out first, I'll admit. I first thought you just made a deal for knowledge with Mercuriat, which would be a lot less terrifying."

"You sometimes talk about the past as if you were there," Maria said. "Things that happened centuries ago. And you know things. Like that time you mentioned how demons have a bar in the Mindscape? How the hell would a human know that?"

"Also, your eyes glow a bit when Maria beats you at poker," Eddy added. "So... that was a big hint, dude. Might want to watch out for that."

Lee - Mercuriat - stared at them.

"I... may have let down my guard a bit," he admitted. "This doesn't bother you?"

"We study demonology, bro," Brad said. "Bit dumb if we were scared of demons. And you're alright. But I'd just like to know one thing..."

Lee sighed, and snapped his fingers. Another beer popped into existence in his hand. "I was bored. That's why I pretend to be a student."

"We figured that, you're known for stuff like that - but not what I was going to ask. I just want to know... why a mullet?"

"Hey now!" Lee sputtered. "Mullets come back into style every few centuries. I figured it was time for them again. Someone has to set the trend."

Eddy patted his shoulder. "You tried."

"It's time to give up. Let it go," Brad said.

Maria got up. "I'll get the scissors!"

---

 Thomas liked the small library in the demonology building. Access was restricted to second years and up, so even on its busy days there weren't more than a handful of students there. It was a good place to go and study in peace.

Usually.

Not today, though. Dewitt and her friends were doing some assignment at the other end of the room. He could see their reflection in the big silver mirror that hung between the bookshelves. They were talking quietly enough but occassionally erupted into laughter, which didn't really help Thomas' concentration.

Elisabeth had given up in disgust already and gone home. Maybe he should follow her example...

He idly tapped his pen on the table, still deep in thought, when he noticed Evergreen coming over. His arms were full of books, which he put on the return tray. Oh, good. Looked like he and his friends were leaving.

Evergreen paused in front of the mirror, probably to admire himself. Thomas made a face. It's not that he actively disliked Evergreen, it was just... high school had instilled a natural distrust towards sporty types who looked like they could break him in half with one hand.

But Evergreen wasn't preening and flexing his muscles, like Thomas had expected him to do. No - he seemed to freeze at his own reflection.

Thomas couldn't find anything odd about it. It was just a mirror after all, not even an enchanted one. Good for trapping ghosts but not anything special. And Evergreen looked normal. His hair was still poofy, but anything was better than that mullet he used to have.

"Heh," Evergreen muttered. He put his hands against the mirror. His reflection's smile was bitter. "Don't know what all the fuss was about. This college thing is easy."

Then he licked his fingers and the weird, tense moment was broken as Evergreen used his spit to style his hair into short spikes. Thomas cringed. Yeargh.

---

A gloomy basement, plastic zip ties around their wrists, a group of cold-faced kidnappers with guns trained on them...

Thomas would have like to spend his Friday night a bit differently. Watching a movie, maybe. Or visiting the boardgame club, they usually met in the Mangy Dog on Fridays. Stars, even a dentist appointment would have been fine - anything was better than being kidnapped and forced to summon a demon.

At least he wasn't alone. Did that make it better? Not if they were going to die, of course - though dying all alone would suck - but maybe together they would come up with some idea to survive this thing. Elisabeth had a gift for banishing circles and Thomas was pretty good with figuring out loopholes, so together they maybe had a chance...

He wasn't sure what Evergreen could add to their escape attempt though. Really, he didn't seem inclined to help much. He'd taken a look at the crate with summoning supplies their kidnappers had left them with, shrugged, and sat back against the wall.

"Evergreen, you look up the regular summoning they want," Elisabeth whispered, as she and Thomas put their heads together. "Then the two of us can focus on getting out of here alive. We should be able to sneak something into the wording of the deal -"

"Nah," Evergreen said. "I'm going to take a nap for a while. Just relax, kid - things will be fine."

"Don't call me kid, we're the same age," Elisabeth said.

Evergreen snickered. "Sure we are, kid. But seriously, take a seat and relax. I've got this."

"Excuse me if I'm not eager to put my trust in you," she said. "Why are you even here, Evergreen? I can understand why they kidnapped Thomas and me. But you? You spend all class playing cards with Dewitt instead of paying attention."

"Odd how Hicks never says anything about that," Thomas mused. It wasn't like Evergreen and Dewitt were subtle about it. Not to mention the armpit concerts they held during last Contract Negotiation class.

"Suit yourself," Evergreen shrugged, sliding the hood of his jacket back over his head. "Wake me up if something happens."

"If something happens? We're going to get killed and you don't care! What is wrong with you?"

"Hey, you there!" One of their guards called out. He gestured at Elisabeth with the hand that still held his gun. "Stop shouting and get to work!"

"Come on," Thomas muttered to Elisabeth, who looked ready to explode. "Time is ticking."

---

"Alright," Thomas said. "What do we know?"

"We made the preparations correctly," Elisabeth said. She tapped her fingers on the table, deep in thought. In the background her aquarium made soothing bubbling sounds. "I'm sure of it. That circle should have summoned Gubal the Thousand-Eyed."

"But it wasn't Gubal who showed up," Thomas pointed out.

"You don't have to remind me." Elisabeth shuddered. He couldn't blame her - he had nightmares too, about everything that happened in that basement. Being threathened with guns had been bad enough, but when the sacrifice had been dragged out and their kidnappers started the summoning...

The wording had been tricky. They'd worked really hard on it, and Thomas still wasn't sure it would have been enough to save them.

In the end it hadn't been necessary. It wasn't Gubal who answered the summons. Instead, of all things, a three feet tall, winged, fire-breathing goat showed up. In the smoke and confusion it must have escaped the binding circle somehow, because through stinging eyes Thomas saw it make a beeline for their kidnappers and then... then...

Crunch.

Goats eat everything, after all.

When the smoke cleared their kidnappers were reduced to bloody smears on the floor. The demon goat had disappeared again. And Lee Evergreen was cutting through the plastic strips binding the other captive with a knife he'd pulled out of nowhere. He'd paused long enough to give them both a shit-eating grin.

"We have to face the facts," Elisabeth said. "He must be some kind of supernatural entity. My money is on demon."

They looked at the list Thomas had been working on, detailing all the strange occurrences and weird habits they'd noticed in the past three years. They had only really started to pay attention after the kidnapping, but the list was still pretty long. Long enough for Thomas to wonder how the hell he'd ever missed this.

Well. He knew why. He'd been too busy with the whole university experience. Studying, the boardgaming club, homework sessions with Elisabeth... He'd ignored the, let's say, less academically inclined part of their class. They weren clever enough - he couldn't remember Evergreen ever getting a question wrong, in fact - but they didn't seem to take things seriously. Evergreen and his buddies were always goofing off, especially Dewitt. Sometimes loud enough to disturb the entire class, which was more than annoying.

"Do you think they know?" Thomas said. "They spend a lot of time with him."

"His friends? Probably. Maybe he's starting a cult, who knows." Elisabeth took a deep breath. "We have to tell Hicks."

Let the professional handle it. That seemed like a good idea. On the other hand...

Getting Hicks involved could have big consequences. And maybe it wasn't necessery? Evergreen - whatever else he was -hadn't done anything wrong, as far as they knew... On the contrary. They probably would be dead if not for him.

Elisabeth with a mission was difficult to reason with, though. Especially since Thomas wasn't quite sure about his own arguments to let 'Evergreen' be. It would be smart to tell Hicks, it would, but...

But he remembered a mirror, reflecting eyes that seemed too old and too human in their loneliness.

He needed to think. And derail Elisabeth, at least for a while. "Maybe we should wait until we have some kind of proof."

"Thomas, really? Are we going to waste time with - don't give me that look, fine. But if he eats our souls I'm blaming you."

He smiled. "I can live with that."

Stars, he really hoped he wasn't making a big mistake.

---

"You think too much," Lee said, baring his teeth in a grin. "You need to act, not think."

"That's easy for you to say." Brad massaged his fist. Lee was teaching him to box, which was harder than it seemed. Of course Lee had freakishly good reflexes, being a demon and all, but still. He'd toned it down for their little brawl and Brad still couldn't manage to land a punch.

Well, he'd managed to hit the wall. Unfortunately. He just wasn't cut out for this stuff.

"Are you calling me stupid?" Lee teased. "Come on, punch me! As hard as you can. Don't be a sissy."

"Why do you even want to learn this?" Eddy asked, from his cosy corner of the couch, where he was playing a videogame with Maria.

"Just in case I ever need to defend myself," Brad said.

"There are easier ways to defend yourself," Maria said, idly killing Eddy's character when he was distracted. "Like a gun."

"I was thinking about something less lethal and more close-range," Brad said.

"Or there's magic. Not everyone has Mercuriat on speed-dial, you know. That's quite an ace in the hole."

"Less lethal, Maria. I think calling a demon on some poor robbers is a bit much."

"Yeah, and I'm not your bodyguard," Lee said. "So, are you punching me or not?"

-------

It had taken a while to track them down. Evergreen didn't have an adress Thomas could find, but apparently he hung around Dewitt's apartment a lot.

He knew who Evergreen was, now. And sure, technically he could just summon him and tell him that way, but...

But it was still freaking Mercuriat, biggest and baddest demon around, and if he had to face him, he preferred to do it when Mercuriat was surrounded by people he probably didn't want to physically or mentally scar.

Probably being the key word there.

This was all such a huge mistake.

Still, he steeled himself and rang the doorbell, before he could chicken out. Maybe he was lucky. Maybe only Dewitt was here - she could give 'Lee Evergreen' the message and with a bit of luck he'd never need to see Evergreen again.

Damn it. The door was opened by Hallman, which didn't bode well on the odds of Dewitts other friends being absent. The smell of pizza wasn’t promising either.

"Strange?" Hallman said, clearly confused. "Hello."

"Good evening," Thomas said. He took a deep breath. How to say this...? "Listen. I need to talk to you - and your friends. I know Evergreen is actually Mercuriat -"

There was a gasp and then a burst of pain as Hallmans fist made contact with his face.

Through the haze of pain and watery eyes he could hear voices.

"Whoa! Is that Strange?"

"Did you punch him?"

"I'm sorry! He said he knew about Lee - I reacted by instinct, really, I didn't mean too!"

"You punched Strange!" The voice sounded way too amused about it. Thomas blinked away the tears and recognised Dewitt, flanked by both Evergreen and Noguerra. "That's kind of impressive, Brad."

"Yoo bwoke my noze," Thomas groaned. "Whad de hell!"

"I'm sorry, you startled me!" Hallman protested.

Evergreen gave Hallman a pat on the back. "Looks like those boxing lessons weren't a waste of time after all, heh?"

"Let's clean up your mess, Brad," Dewitt said. She took out a knife, and Thomas hurriedly backed away until his back touched the wood of the door. Someone must have closed it behind him.

"Whad?" he said, pronunciation still mangled by his swollen nose. "Yoo goin' do kill me now?"

"Don't be a baby," Dewitt said, and cut into her own finger. "Hey Lee, wanna make a deal?"

"Shh, we have company," Noguerra said.

Dewitt made a face. "Don't give me that look, he knows already. So, Lee - what about it?"

Thomas stared in horror as Dewitt and Evergreen high-fived, and blue flames covered their hands for a second.

His nose healed itself in the blink of an eye, leaving him free to sputter: "That isn't even close to how you make a safe deal! No laying down the terms? And we have nice, sterile needles for a blood sacrifice - why the hell would you use a knife like that!?"

"Because it's cooler," Dewitt shrugged.

"She's right," Evergreen added. "So, smart guy. Why exactly are you here again?"

Right. He was here for a reason. He wanted to help these crazy people.

"We know who you are," he said, focusing on Evergreen. "Or, well. What you are, actually. You're Mercuriat."

Evergreen seemed to freeze, just staring at him. It didn't escape Thomas' notice that Dewitt, Noguerra and Hallman all seemed to draw closer to him in some kind of protective move.

"You seem really sure of yourself," Dewitt said. "Why?"

"Does it matter? Listen, I'm here to warn you. Elisabeth and I, we figured it out after... what happened in that basement. I tried to stop her but she still went to Hicks, and apparently he'd figured it out himself already. He's been calling some experts. Don't know for sure when they'll arrive, but I thought... I should warn you." He avoided their eyes and shrugged. "I kind of owe my life to you, so... There."

There was a long silence.

"Alright," Evergreen said. "Seems like I have some cleaning up to do."

"Uh," Thomas said. "You're not going to hurt Elisabeth or Hicks, are you?"

"A word of advice, Strange," Dewitt said, not really unfriendly. "If a high-level demon says he's going to do some cleaning up, it's better to not ask too many questions."

"I can't let you hurt anyone."

"I'm not going to hurt them, kid," Evergreen said, sounding exasperated. "I'll probably trick them into loosing their memories about this. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Wait, what?"

"What did you expect me to do?"

"Well, I don't know... I kinda thought you would just... leave? I mean, why would you stay? You've been found out."

Evergreen paused. "So you came to warn me... just to throw me out?"

“Er. Well…” He flinched when Evergreen threw an arm around his shoulders and squeezed. Sofly, but with a definite hint of a threat.

“I’m not going a̡̜̰͎̭̗n̲̣̤̯͙͓y͔w͉̦̠͉he̬r̭̲͈̝͘e͖̦̮̲͍̙͜,” the demon said.

“Not until graduation, at least,” Dewitt added, with a rather unsettling grin. “It’s going to be epic.”

“Great,” Thomas said, weakly. “So this is a cult then.”

“No, dude, it’s so much better.” Noguerra waved his slice of pizza around in a grand gesture. “It’s friendship.”

“Oh boy.”

He glanced around the room, hoping to glean some sign of whatever nefarious thing they were planning. The room was a nightmare. It looked like an arts and crafts room and a library melded together and exploded. The table was covered in sheets of paper, pictures, empty pizza boxes and, for some reason, underwear.

Thomas almost didn’t dare to ask. But his curiosity got the better of him. One day that would get him killed, for sure… “Why do you have piles of men’s underwear lying around?”

“Right, that,” Hallman said, sheepishly. “We can explain that.”

Evergreen moved to the table and showed Thomas one of the pictures with a dramatic flourish.

It looked like the cover for a book.

‘Mercuriat, Gentleman Demon’ the title proclaimed, with a picture underneath of Mercuriat in full demon shape, his face turned away but the pose rather provocative.

Thomas took another picture from the pile. It was even worse. ‘Mercuriat and the Quest for Gold’. Sheesh.

"Alright. So this isn't a cult," he said. He leafed through the pages, reading. "This is worse."

"This is making money!" Dewitt grinned. She high-fived Evergreen again, who seemed entirely too pleased with himself. "Mercuriat? More like Mercuri-HOT!"

Thomas cringed. Hallman did too. “We’re not using that as a slogan, Maria.”

“We’ll see.”

“But why?” Thomas had to ask. He waved at the table with the pictures, the lopsided stacks of what he now realised were supposed to be freshly-written novels. “Just… why?”

Evergreen shrugged. “You know that movie that’s supposedly based on me?”

“Er…” He’d come across it in the past, when looking up demons in pop culture. It was a cult classic, wasn’t it? Rather old though. “Might have heard of it.”

“We’re cashing in,” Dewitt grinned. “Turns out, writing a bestseller isn’t that hard when you have some demonic assistance. We’re going to be filthy rich!”

“Mystery! Adventure! Romance! Gentleman Demon has got it all,” Noguerra added. “Maria writes, and Brad and me are working on merchandise.”

Hallman seemed less enthusiastic. “I still don’t think autographed underwear is ever going to sell.”

Thomas stared. At them. At the room, with the ridiculous pictures and everything. And at Mercuriat, the literal demon, who just stood there with a sly smile.

“What?” Evergreen shrugged. “It’s free advertising.”

Silence.

“So… you mentioned something about losing memories? Because I would be fine if I never heard about this.”

Evergreen laughed, and surprised him with another one-armed hug. “You remind me of someone I used to know, kid. Get that stick out of your ass and we’ll get along fine, you’ll see.”

[anon-luv]

BLANKETS [JungkookxReader](Part 4/5)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Feat. Rest of BTS)

Genre: Romance/Angst/Smut BadBoyAU!

Summary: A one night stand turned into various visits. No strings attached, or at least that is what you told yourself every time he walked through the door. His first name was the only thing you knew, besides having memorized every sensitive spot that laid upon his skin.

One night you catch a glimpse of his world. One that you had never had the temptation to roam on your free will. Jungkook though was addicting, and your craving for his touches led you to venture into his life. This new found world offering you a freedom you didn’t know existed. The consequences of your actions instead of taking you a step closer to him, formed a barrier. Jungkook’s sweet touches turned rough with rage, his passionate kisses turned possessive, and his comfortable casual talk went to promises/lies of a forever.

Rating: M [Language, Strong Scenes, Drug usage, Sexual Scenes]

Author’s Note: Hey Guys, sorry for the slight delay. I had it ready, and as I was editing I decided to delete and rewrite the last half like 3 times. I hope you all enjoy. This Fic only has one chapter left(long very long chapter),  but I am debating whether to add the sequel I had outlined for it. 

Also quick confession….. I have never written in 2nd POV till now, so sorry for any mistakes I might commit while writing in this form.

Trigger warning: Drugs, alcohol, and Sexual scenes

Not 100% edited yet. Might have minor mistakes :)

Feedback is greatly appreciated! It makes me Happy!

Word Count: 3,700+

Blankets

.Part 1. .Part 2. Part 3.  [Fic Playlist]

MASTERLIST

“Meeting someone at the wrong time is the saddest thing I have ever come to comprehend. There is this unfathomable pain rooted deep in knowing that you have to let go to continue growth separately when in your heart, you just know- you know that since the first day you were both put on this planet, you must have been two seeds planted right next to each other, the crossing of roots inevitable because what else could explain how you see the world almost identically? What else could explain how when it rains on the other, you feel it too? And it is for these exact reasons I know that us meeting was not a coincidence; we will meet again someday when we have bloomed a little stronger in order to maximize each other’s growth.”

One last time. One last night. One more moment.

The door slammed from your apartment as he pressed your body against the wall. His mouth smashed into yours, tugging and biting your lower lip asking for permission, which you quickly surrendered to. You wanted to taste him and engrave the feeling of his warm body pressing on to yours, connected in the most intimate of ways. You wanted to keep this. You wanted to treasure this feeling, for you knew what you had to do.

The poker face was slipping off, and your heart wanted to take over. You wanted to be loved by a man who came into your life like thunder, sending a ripple of energy you had never felt before. There was only so much you could take and change though, and you had decided it had been enough.

You lied to yourself every day pretending the love that blossomed from countless nights of being wrapped in his arms, while his breath fanned your face, was nothing but lust. He had deeply dug himself into your heart with every morning breakfast shared and every smile exchanged. Your love had bloomed without judgment or past identities.

The twinkle in his eyes as he pushed deep into you letting you know he must feel something as well. Your bodies coated with a thin layer of sweat, panting each other’s names. A whisper of “you look beautiful” and “you feel so good” on an endless loop. You could feel the end coming as an explosion surged through your body, and with one loud grunt, he fell on top of your figure. The blanket on the bed now penetrated with the smell of what could have been.

Before you knew what was going on, your mouth formed the words you were dreading to let slip “I love you.”

He turned to look at you, his eyes wide, taken by surprise. He turned to face you as he brushed a piece of hair that had fallen on your face. “I love you too.”

A perfect bunny smile setting off warning signs in your brain. It was now or never. It was only going to get more difficult from here on out.

“We need to stop doing whatever it is we’re doing,” you said as you traced his face with your finger.  He frowned, clearly, he was not going to take this well. The reality that he confessed back slapping you finally on the face. He loved you. He said he did. He also told Tabi he loved her. He told her every day. How do you know he was being truthful? Was that the kind of love you wanted to fall into?

He grasped your hand with his and held onto it as if you would float away forever if he let go.

You stood up from the bed quickly, ripping your hand away from his, the shock from the coldness sending a tingle up your spine as you threw on Jungkook’s shirt hoping to warm yourself up a tad bit.

“Jungkook, I know. I know about Tabi and her illness. About what you both have gone through. How am I supposed to sleep next to you and dream about a future that will never come? How am I supposed to smile at her, knowing that the nights you are not in my bed you are more than likely in hers? Tell me Jungkook… How can this…” you trailed off as a lone tear fell from your eye.

Jungkook stood up from the bed and walked towards you. “I told you I would break it off with her. Do you not believe me? I was trapped, (Y/N). I love her. Don’t get me wrong. She is one of the closest friends I have ever had. She loves me in a way I didn’t know a person could be loved, but then I met you. She was in the hospital that night and I was on my own drinking away my worries, and then there was you. You came in and swept me away, even if I was half conscious, I knew you were from a different world of my own. You were my escape. I felt like I could breathe easily without the world crumbling into pieces when I was with you. It wasn’t only Tabi I escaped from, it was the drugs, the fights, and the endless amount of disappointment I seemed to rub off on those closest to me. I tried my hardest to make myself love Tabi like she loved me, but I couldn’t and I can’t. With you, I just fell, unprepared and unaware. You think it has been easy for me seeing you being tainted by my world? Kissing lips that weren’t mine without being able to do anything? Because I thought that you believed a future would never include US in it?” He grasped your arms tightly tilting your chin up so your now watering eyes could meet his own.

“(Y/N), I’m In love with you.”

It had been 3 days since you had last seen Jungkook. He had not called or texted you, and as much as you wanted to just run to the hangout and yell at his face, you knew you couldn’t. It was not his fault you had decided to kick him out after his confession.

You walked towards your apartment building as you noticed a familiar figure standing outside. Her now brown locks were a mess and you could see her eyeliner running down her cheeks. A deep feeling in your gut was alerting you of the possible storm you were about to walk into. Your cautious steps taking you on autopilot in front of her.

She stared at you as her eyes brimmed with even more tears. “He broke up with me…”

You froze. You didn’t know what to do or what to say. Had he broken up with her for you? Did she know?

“Can I stay with you for a bit?” she said, answering your question.

You nodded unsure of what was happening. “I have ice cream and munchies… I don’t do normal groceries, just junk food, so you are in luck.”

She followed silently, her quiet sobs the only indication that someone else was present in your building. You opened the door to your place and allowed her in before you.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked as you made your way to the kitchen, allowing her to get comfortable on your cozy couch. She took the remote and turned on the TV, as if she had been here many times before. You liked the way Tabi’s personality shined even when her world seemed to be crumbling apart.

You felt a pang of guilt hit, but you were selfish enough to push it aside. You had no idea that Jungkook was taken when you fell in love with him. Jungkook wasn’t a choice, he had been a need, a never-ending craving.

“Yes, do you have apple juice or something?” she asked as she flipped through the channels.

“I have green apple Smirnoff?”

“That’s good” you heard her say, barely above a whisper.

The atmosphere in the room was heavy with unsaid confessions and an ounce of regret. You needed to tell her. You needed to clear your mind of all the thoughts that made you sick to your stomach.

“Tabi, I just want to say that I am really sorry about…”

“I know,” she said, cutting you off before you could continue your ramble. She took a long sip of the alcohol-induced fruity drink and rested her head in her hands, visible tears traveling down with no sign of stopping. You were frozen in place not really sure of how to comfort the crying girl in front of you. You had been Danielle’s shoulder to cry on more than a handful of times, but it had never been your fault. This girl in front of you… was crying unknowingly because of you.

A knock on the door luckily interrupted the awkwardness surrounding the both of you. You stared at the door and waited a second before standing up, but before you could make your way to the front door, the doorknob shook, and then in came Jungkook.

You sat back down quickly from the surprise and noticed Tabi was now the one standing up, looking utterly confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh…” Jungkook started as he looked at you, trying to figure out what to say as if you held the answer on your clearly distressed face.

“Fuck it,” you said as you grew annoyed. You were tired of lies, you were tired of this whole scenario. You wanted them both out of your life at this point. Your life had never been this chaotic, other than family dinners. Your worries always ended at bills.

“You know what, I want you both out!” you yelled, surprising the both of them and yourself.

“But babe-” Jungkook started again, obviously not thinking before speaking, something that seemed to be second nature to him.

“Babe? “ Tabi asked sounding even more confused as she looked at you with betrayal.

“Okay, you wanna know something Tabi? Jungkook and I have been going at it for a year? Yeah, like a year and a few months… and in all honesty, it was fun at first. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. To be quite honest, I didn’t even know his number. All I knew was his name and that he could cook amazingly well. When I met you at the club was when I pieced things together, and I am so sorry, so very sorry” you said as the emotions you had held in took over.

“Wait, did you still do stuff with him when you found out about me?” she said, not even giving Jungkook the time of day.

You looked guiltily downward not being able to answer.

“It is not her fault… I-” Jungkook said, but Tabi cut him off.

“You shut the fuck up. Whatever comes out of your mouth at this point is shit to me.”

“Hey, don’t talk to him like that,” you said catching both of their eyes.

“You love him” Tabi stated. She no longer asked him. “You truly and utterly love his fucking ass…”

“Tabi, I didn’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. After the first time that it happened, I felt guilty and it killed me. I never stopped going to see you, and I tried to make you happy any way I could. I didn’t want to leave you alone. You are my best friend… You love me so much and no one has ever really shown that to me… I am sorry…” he said with tears now running down his cheek. “I couldn’t stop seeing her. I didn’t want to… I still don’t want to.”

Tabi looked at you and then at him, both of you were now spilling tears for her. “You love her…” she whispered as she took a step away from the couch and a step closer to him. She picked up her hand to his face and you flinched assuming she was going to slap him, but instead, her hand lightly touched his cheek, wiping off the tears that had fallen. She tiptoed and softly covered her lips with his, causing a small pang in your heart, one that you tried to burry right away.

Tabi quickly pulled away as Jungkook closed his eyes, and more tears were shed.

“Jungkookie, I wish you the best… I wish you both the best” she said turning to look back at you. “Love each other, I will not stand in your way, just promise me that you will give me space… I need space.”

Tabi walked away, and right before she opened the door, you heard Jungkook say “I did love you… you know I did, right Tabi?”

Tabi nodded slowly. “But you weren’t in love with me,” she whispered before she walked out.

Kisses… it always started with his kisses. They took control of your senses as if they were laced with the finest heroine. Every touch and movement was altered creating a feeling of euphoria so intense, you felt like you had been neglected of any real emotions until your skin made contact with his.

The inner conflict of wrong and right in your head was on mute, as you kissed Jungkook. You knew you both needed to address what was going to play out in your relationship, but as soon as the silence had become too much after Tabi left, words were not enough to express the need that had consumed your bodies after being away for too long.

The experience felt completely different as he took his time tracing every inch of your skin as if he was trying to memorize every curve of your body well enough to be able to draw you with his eyes closed. As the kisses grew in heat, so did the temperature in the room creating a path of discarded clothes all the way to your room. Your lips could not bear to be apart for more than a few seconds, but you manage to get rid of every piece of clothing that created a barrier between the both of you. The grip he had on your waist tightened as if in fear that you would run away. His usual demeanor of alpha subsided as he laid you softly on the bed. His eyes searching within yours for permission, something he had never done in the past, and as your mouth searched for his one more time, he took the opportunity to thrust himself deep within you, as your nails trailed down his strong back muscles finally marking him as yours. The faster he moved into you, the louder the moans that spilled from your lips. You had never been very vocal, but the feelings that accompanied as you fused your bodies into one, were overwhelming and something completely new. As you reached your high together you both refused to let go of one another. The reality of finally having the opportunity of being free to be with one another kicking in as he kissed your face all over as your finger traced the light scar on his cheek.

“Do you regret it??” you whispered to him as you both laid completely bare underneath your blankets. You knew Tabi meant a lot to him, and you couldn’t help, but feel like a home wrecker.

“Honestly…I regret not being honest about my feelings with her sooner… I feel like I could’ve avoided all the drama if I had just been clear with her, instead of sneaking away seeking the feelings I was missing with her in your bed” he said  “I don’t regret meeting you, I don’t regret anything we have done together, and most importantly I do not regret falling in love with you. I DO regret not being honest from the very beginning though. I wasted so much time of you and me……with me and her….”

A silent tear fell down your cheek as you heard him utter words you had never imagined yourself wanting to hear. He had become so much more to you than anyone else. How had you fooled yourself all this time? The feeling of being in his arms felt more like home than the apartment full of memories you resided in.

“I love you,” you said as he kissed your tear away.

“I love you more,” he said as he once again captured your lips with his.

—–

It had been 3 months, and there was still no sign of Tabi coming back. Jungkook and you spend most of your time in the hangout with the guys, who were surprised to find out what was going on behind the curtains. Well all of them….except Yoongi….. Yoongi had known from the very beginning, he was still the closest to you out of the lot, other than Jungkook. Yoongi had been a substitute to Jungkook in certain emotional aspects when Jungkook was still by Tabi’s side, but even now as you held Jungkook’s hand unashamed as you smoked your worries away, Yoongi caught your eye every once in a while. Yoongi’s messages were as constant as ever, and you knew no matter what the outcome would’ve been, he would be there for you no matter what.

Jungkook was perfect in every sense of the word. You had never expected to receive so much attention from him. Every day you learned something new about each other making the relationship feel like a beautiful adventure. The fear of it all being a dream washed away as you woke up in the morning to the sight of his beautiful back muscles working to fix up breakfast. Jungkook had basically moved in and barely left your side. You knew that this was what people called the honeymoon phase, but you knew deep within that the fire that ignited within you as Jungkook held you tight would never cease.

“Do you think there might be a bird somewhere in this world who is afraid to fly??” Jungkook asked as you saw him fooling around with a guitar while sitting criss-cross on the floor of the hangout spot.

“That is random, but I am assuming there must be some out there who must have some sort of fear. They obviously would have to get rid of that phobia in order to survive though. A bird without the guts to fly is basically like a bird inside the cage…..it will never find what freedom and happiness taste like.” you said as you played with the hair in the nape of his head.

Jungkook nodded not taking the conversation any further. You examined the way his fingers moved along the strings in a beautiful pattern. The absence of them on your skin starting an itch, but before you could seek to steal his attention he broke the silence.

“I want to show you something,” he said nervously.

You nodded not knowing what to expect, and before you knew it his fingers were once again playing a tune, but now it was one that seemed familiar. Jungkook….then quietly began to sing along.

“No limit in the sky That I won’t fly for ya No amount of tears in my eyes That I won’t cry for ya, oh no With every breath that I take I want you to share that air with me There’s no promise that I won’t keep I’ll climb a mountain, there’s none too steep”

Your mouth dropped in amazement as he created a beautiful melody, and you realized how much you still had to learn from this dream man infront of you. He was perfect, he was amazing, and he was yours. You wanted to know everything about him. When had you turned into this cheesy mess?

As he finished the song, you couldn’t help yourself from the urge of jumping into his arms and attacking him with kisses all over his face.

“You are truly amazing did you know that??” you asked, instead of answering he kissed you back.

“Not as amazing as you” he replied between kisses.

The star-filled skies were a beautiful sight as you laid beside the guys and Danielle. The dim light coming from the bonfire provided a nice warmth that wrapped around your body as the effect of the alcohol you had consumed gave you a slight feeling of floating above the ground. Your hand remained interlaced with Jungkook's. You laid your head on his chest as he hummed a tune in your ear. His sweet voice had become another of your addictions. Your life was now a soundtrack of Jungkook and you wanted to replay him for the rest of your life.

“A shooting star!! Close your eyes and make a wish,” you said as a light flashed across the sky.

Jungkook followed your instructions as he sighed slightly chuckling at your cuteness.

“What did you wish for??” he asked as he noticed you reopening your eyes.

“I am not supposed to tell….if I do it won’t come true,” you said chuckling.

His eyes scrunched up as a huge smile plastered on his face “What are you talking about?? You and I are both in love ….we are basically one half of a whole”

You laughed at his cheesiness, but your insides glowed with love for him “Fine….I wished for you and me to be together forever. For this small town and our adventures never to come to an end. I want this moment to last forever”

You felt his heart accelerate as the words spilled out of your mouth, you looked into his eyes as you felt a change in the aura that surrounded him, but it wasn’t clear whether it had been positive or negative. His silence made you nervous, but before you could suspect anything else he gave you a small smile. You were sure your eyes had displayed the insecurity that grew as the seconds ticked by.

The curiosity within you grew from the change in his mood “What did you wish??”

He was frozen for a few seconds and you felt him stiffen a bit underneath you, but then his words eased your nerves a bit as he whispered, “I wished to be with you forever as well…” he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

The rest of the night you could feel his eyes avoiding yours at times, but you didn’t want to pressure him or make him feel uncomfortable, besides you knew he loved you. He had expressed in so many ways and had gone above and beyond to show you affection every day. Then why did you feel so insecure at this moment? You had nothing to worry about, right?

[empty-dream]

Me watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 10

Sieg: *trembling while holding the sword* “Fight me!” Mordred: “Learn to hold a goddamn sword first”

Astolfo: “Dude I did not suffer for this!’ Sieg: “Really sorry about that!” Mordred: *send them both away with one blow* “gET A ROOM”

I’m choking Mordred is definitely pulling a “Are you serious? Right in front of my salad sword?”

Wow Sieg’s glare is pretty chilling. Finally some depth on his on screen appearance.

In addition, it’s when he declares his new name and his existence, so good job.

Caules and Fran getting on the hit-them-when-they-talk bandwagon.

You thought regular looting is bad? Try heart looting.

Hello to the people who come here thinking Jack is hot innocent loli, behold she is actually blood-splattered lunatic scavenging dead hearts from dead people. 

The idea of the most famous serial killer being an apparition shaped as little girl dressed in futuristic stripper outfit bathed in blood and corpses while fiddling with a Nokia 6000 series is WAY BEYOND WHAT I COULD EVER COME UP IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

“Our new room” more like “room we literally kill people for”

Jack: “Okay mom, bye bye!” *Naruto runs*

How is that walking metal armor not electrocuted by Fran’s lightning that’s some EX magic shit going on here

Caules hon that’s not what I’d call acting with discretion.

‘Third-rates’ wow Mordred your trash-talking actually hurts huh who did you learn from? Gawain?

I just realized that since Clarent is powered by Mordred’s hatred for Artoria, then it basically runs on the power of emo LOLOLOLOL

Well all is funny until she blows everybody several yards away with it.

Yo Mordred do yo always go and see people and be like “this one is homunculus, this one is not”??

On the other hand, good job A-1 at showing explicitly that Fran is indeed not a homunculus nor a human but a true artificial creation.

I don’t like saying this but Mordred, if you want an enemy real dead, go for the head.

I think she was all about decapitating people before so why suddenly just stabbed?

Um nice try Sieg but don’t you see that metal armor is like this thick and Mordred is like Terminator?

The sword looks like a toothpick jammed lightly it’s awkward now

Mordred angrily turns red, literally.

Remember that Astolfo saved Sieg just because he could? Now Sieg saved Astolfo simply because he saved him. 

Ugh getting stabbed by that huge-ass sword should hurt A LOT huh

It’s been like two days out of the castle and Sieg experiences death. AGAIN.

Sieg you need to stop dying this is not Supernatural.

I guess Mordred’s characterization is definitely aimed to be jarring between the savagery she displays in battle and the chivalrous nature she harbours as a knight. 

Astolfo: “HOW DARE YOU KILL THEM?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD LANCE?!”

That’s some chilling scream Astolfo

Kairi: “Did you make sure she’s dead?” Mordred: “Dude I stabbed her with giant sword like in the torso” Kairi: “Shit boi did you forget this is a magic war? People sparkles when they die!”

Fran’s mace: *standing up ominously* Mordred: “Weird” Me: Maybe you should be called “The Knight of Obviousness” instead of “The Knight of Treachery”

Fran: SURPRISE BITCH THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME

Fran taking strangling with bare hands to a whole new level

Wow the mace suddenly floats, does some clicking, whirling, becomes green, and now it looks like green thunder chupa chups

Uh as much as I hate Celenike, I can’t disagree with her saying ‘stand back and don’t get roped into a suicide bomb’

But I guess if she doesn’t force Astolfo he’d definitely bolt to the ground zero trying to get a better ending that’s just like him

At this point, it’s pretty clear that none of Fran Al-Qaeda-ing her way is Caules’ command.

But instead he just understands her and gives the last command spell to boost her, no matter how painful of a decision it is :(

Wow does using the last command spell always induce flashy tron lines and sharp lightning?? Is this the Apocrypha style? Last time I see people do that, it’s just dramatic wind.

Caules’ glasses breaks and cheek gets slashed only adds the dramatic tension. And it looks cool in gif.

hOLY CRAP THE BLOOD TURNS INTO FLOWER PETALSSTOP IT STOP THE FLASHBACK IT FUCKING HURTSSSS

It’s bad enough if a dying person’s life flashes before their eyes bUT IT’S ENTIRELY ON DIFFERENT LEVEL IF IT FLASHES BEFORE THEIR CLOSE PARTNER’S EYES

Fran gets super pissed at Mordred she decides to talkIt’s actually a bit funy that everybody from the author to the animators making sure people notice Fran’s lightning pierces Sieg like ‘yo reader it’s important clue for our protagonist’s powers!’

Wait I just notice the role of the Berserkers from both faction is literally the same: to become servant bomb

At least Fran goes out in a beautiful electric explosion tree........

Astolfo: “Please be dead please be dead” Mordred: “...Yo...Hhh... Surprise....hh...bitch-” Astolfo: “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?”

Caules babe :’’’(((((((

He’s such a good master he honestly thought he screwed up and let Fran die in vain and he couldn’t do anything for her even until the end

In the novels, from this point on, everything about Caules and Fran will just hurt like a bitch.

Okay let’s cut the sadness and LOOK SIEG’S HEART BEATING

Siegfried appears!!!!!

I kinda forget that bathing in dragon blood means he’s actually covered in blood from head to toe that’s pretty disgusting if given more thought.

So Siegfried’s previous life was literally on the range of ‘national hero’ to ‘professional killer’ to ‘matchmaker’

Sieg: “You lived your life as a wish-granting machine but do you ever have a wish yourself?” Siegfried: “Dude you’re like born months ago don’t throw existential crisis on me right now”

Siegfried: “Now let’s get back on you. Do you have a wish?” Sieg: “....Uhm..” Siegfried: “See existential crisis doesn’t feel good.”

Siegfried takes Sieg from aurora field to dragon dungeon so Sieg’s ego grows like wow that’s hardcore

What is this? A King Arthur play? Sword in the stone??

It’s mandatory to have a fate anime with somebody dramatically decides on a life purpose and dramatically pulls out a sword.

You know, I’ve always liked Balmung’s design. It screams ‘WILD HERO’ and it’s got this badass design and color and sheath. In fact, it’s the third place in my heart after Durandal and maybe-not-suprisingly La Pucelle

That’s why I’m THIS close to be angry that it appears like a cannon fodder sword but thank God it transforms

Mordred: “Wew that was close!” Kairi: “Don’t ‘wew that was close’ me that servant you called third rate just nearly deep fried you if I didn’t bail you out and now I’m tired”

Astolfo be like “My friend is dead, my other friend is dead too, my other other friend is also dead, and now I’m facing a terminator why God”

Sieg!Fried: *standing ominously under the moon* Mordred: “Master, he’s dead right?” Kairi: “Yeah I heard so” Mordred: “Well now we have The Walking Dead”

I think I just squealed hearing Sieg!Fried’s asking “Are you okay?” that sounds so gentle and so hot at the same time?????

Sieg!Fried: “Are you okay?” Astolfo: *blush* “Baka” Mordred: “GET A FUCKING ROOOMMMMMM”

I love how chill Kairi is when facing this anomaly he’s like “Dude, it’s magic war, anything can happen”

Mordred you don’t get to call Balmung a cosplay sword when Clarent also looks like a gigantic cosplay sword

And cut to Shakespeare giving comments as usual. Do Semiramis and Shirou have to watch every battle while listening to his narration?

HAHA Semiramis has to place her hand palms up because of the spikes WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY?

Hm I kinda don’t know what to make out from Shirou’s words but I presume it’s about Sieg should just live like a pure baby he is instead of letting that purity dyed in everything good and bad in being human?

If that’s so, it’s a big hint of Shirou’s goal, no?

Shirou’s practicing if-looks-could-kill without even trying

Semiramis and Shakespeares are such good friends to Shirou they notice him look evil in a matter of seconds

Shirou be like “I thought my feelings are all secret but guess not I should perfect my poker face” just like his servant. Truly a match of heaven.

Lol guys that boy you just declare worthless will be the final man standing against you lololololol

Indeed Shakespeare is the Genre Savvy™ as expected of THE playwright

Mordred: “Master what’s his weakness?” Kairi: “His weakness is ‘Do your best and find out yourself’” Kairi is such a lil shit I love him

And there you have it the first battle scene in the first episode

Y’know, the novel describes Balmung as emanating orange light like the twilight when activated but the very same novel also illustrates it with vivid blue light and it’s making me having the existential crisis since forever

Balmung vs Clarent Blood Arthur more like Let’s nuke each other

Aw they skip the calling the name of the noble phantasms if you ask me I prefer if they include it in this episode too

Oh now it’s Sieg’s command spell on the closing title and with completely different background and SCATTERED FLOWER IS THE TITLE OF THIS EPISODE THANKS FOR REMINDING ME AGAIN THAT IT HURTS ):

Fran’s dead, Caules cries, my heart really hurts

Trust me, the novel version is far worse than the animation. The narration from the moment Caules notices what he has to do to his reaction after her death is just painful. All the root cause of it all? It’s because they care for each other. Even he acknowledges that.

Oh yeah and also Fran dies with a little smile while speaking those words in the novel, kinda different vibe with the anime version

In the novel, the Siegfried’s flashback also reveals his one wish: To become an ally of justice a.k.a. the same dream possessed by the Kiritsugu and Shirou Emiya. Now it may differs from each person but for me personally, while it serves as a driving force to Siegfried’s character, it’s also yet another a form of homage (or maybe long running serious gag?) to both Fate/Zero and Fate/Stay Night. Whether it is good or not to omit that from the anime, I can’t really say....

NEXT: I think we need some Jeanne now. Hopefully not Naruto running again.

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 Best Movies Of 2017!

2017, as a whole, was a pretty damn good year for film! Sure, it had a shit ton of crap, but I definitely think there was way more great films than terrible. Even the bad stuff, tended to have something likable about them (hence why there were mostly unfunny comedies on my worst of list). Meanwhile, the good movies, I generally really loved. I don’t think it’ll go down as one of the best years for film, but it’s a better contender than most. And these are what I believe to be the top 10 best! And keep in mind, even with the extra year, I still didn’t see everything: so as great as I’m sure The Big Sick & The Florida Project are, I never got around to them. For a comprehensive list of every movie I did see from 2017 (in order from best to worst), go here: https://letterboxd.com/animatorreviewa/list/every-2017-movie-ive-seen/

#10. Baby Driver In a few decades, Edgar Wright is going to be considered one of the best directors of all time. It’s going to be: Steven Spielberg, Stanley Kubrick, Edgar Wright. Baby Driver, though not as energetic as Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World nor as hilarious as Hot Fuzz, is objectively his best directing project. How Baby’s mind boggling driving goes along perfectly with the music he’s playing looks incredible the entire way through, never relenting & always exciting! And if this was all it had, it’d still be an amazing movie but not “top 10″ worthy. But it has Oscar-worthy performances from Ansel Elgort, Jamie Foxx, & even Kevin Spacey (a terrible person with lots of talent), a gripping narrative, & amazing looking special effects that’ll make Transformers: The Last Knight blush! If anything, the reason why it’s only at #10 is because, at the end of the day, I’d still prefer to watch Shaun Of The Dead... again...

#9. Coco Pixar has been on a serious roll ever since they got through their shitty phase. Inside Out made my 2016 list, Incredibles 2 is probably going to make my 2018 list, & even Cars 3 was way better than it deserved to be! Coco is Pixar showing that not only are they back & going to stay, but could make movies that should suck & yet is still amazing! Every dumb movie cliche is on full force in this: the family that hates music but it’s the main protagonist’s passion & his family just doesn’t understand, but through a wacky & heart-warming adventure through his family’s history, maybe they’ll blah blah blah blah blah... It even rips off The Book Of Life to a good extent! Yeah, this movie isn’t great because of its twists & turns. It’s great because even though you know exactly what’s going to happen from beginning to end & yet it’s still gripping, interesting, & fun with gripping, interesting, & fun characters that you’d want to run around a million cliches with! It was a blast to watch in theaters & definitely worth sitting through Olaf’s Frozen Adventure to see.

#8. Get Out I’m not even going to pretend like I know what it’s like to be black in America. It’s pretty clearly not something I will ever understand as I can actually hide my minority-ness. So, a movie like Get Out, as great as it is, I find generally pretty hard to relate to what happens in them. But I will say that Get Out, as a film, is absolutely thrilling, exciting, & at times scary. I was worried about this character & concerned about what he was going through; when things start not making sense, I’m right there with him! That’s what a good horror movie should do & that kind of horror is in low demand nowadays. Even It, a movie that almost made the list, didn’t engross or engage me as much as Get Out did! The directing of Jordan Peele & the acting of Daniel Kaluuya are on full display & only makes this chilling movie even more so! A great start to a great comedian’s great directing career!

#7. Gerald’s Game Though, as a horror movie, I find Get Out far more engaging & engrossing than Gerald’s Game, I do think it’s far better made with a much better basis, story, & acting. What I really love about Gerald’s Game is how it tells its plot. It’s not new to tell your story out of order (Pulp Fiction, Mulholland Drive, every Christopher Nolan movie), but very few do so as well as this! From the beginning, its unique & universally horrifying concept makes sure you’re paying attention & holds on to it with equally unique & universally horrifying events told in the perfect order to have it make sense throughout but not entirely so until the very end. It starts off on the perfect note & holds it throughout! Fascinating & universal, Gerald’s Game is the perfect engaging drama!

#6. Molly’s Game A biopic that doesn’t tell the whole truth, just how much did happen & to whom is the whole reason why I found myself intrigued with Molly’s Game. The great story told fascinatingly with incredible performances is why I love Molly’s Game. The film itself feels like a particularly great poker game: just when you think Molly’s up, just as quickly, she can fall back down. At the end, you’re just concerned if she’ll end up broke by the end of the night! And just like a great poker game, it’s hard not to get engaged with every little thing that happens in this film & it requires Oscar-worthy performances from everyone, especially Jessica Chastain! Incredibly engaging & engrossing, it’s the perfect movie for critics!

#5. I, Tonya I already praised Molly’s Game for how it tells its mostly true story, but I, Tonya is about a famously inconsistent story from & about inconsistent people. I don’t know why, but I find that everyone in this movie has their own stories & they’re probably all lying very interesting & it makes for a great story. It’s kinda like if you took every good element from every Alice In Wonderland adaptation & put them all into its very own movie. Like if the story itself had a couple of decades to edit itself into the best version it possibly can be. Add in the marketing of it maybe being true: taking all the intrigue of a “based on a true story” of something so outrageous while not feeling like it disrespects its audience enough to think they’d believe it. And it helps that its story is based on one of the most interesting parts of modern American history & it has 2 of the best performances of the year (Margot Robbie & Allison Janney). Put them all together & you get the 5th best movie of 2017!

#4. The Shape Of Water Beauty And The Beast is one of the most timeless & universal stories ever told, hence why there is so many versions of it. Everybody can relate to the idea, feeling, & fear of being neglected, ignored, & hated & for many people at many points in history, that fear was a reality. The original story is so universal, it can be read as being a peasant at the turn of the 18th century just as much as it can be about being gay at the turn of the 21st century & that’s why it has persisted for so long. The Disney animated film of the same name from 1991 was revolutionary for many reasons, but its incredible story is largely why it became the first animated movie to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. So, The Shape Of Water actually winning with this story is not only deserving, but it’s probably my favorite telling of the classic. Guillermo Del Toro had already made a name for himself by directing the critically praised Pan’s Labyrinth, the audience pleaser Pacific Rim, & creating the hit series Trollhunters: Tales Of Arcadia. The Shape Of Water is plausibly his most praised work & possibly his best work. The chemistry between the 2 mute leads is incredible & it becomes even more so after you realize that it’s all without talking! And that fact makes the villain seem even more villainous when every little thing he says is hate filled. And the amazing directing of Del Toro is what brings it all together, making it a worthy Best Picture winner.

#3. The Disaster Artist Another biopic with a possibly untrue story, The Disaster Artist shows that James Franco & Seth Rogan don’t need cheap sex jokes or obvious drug jokes to be funny. In fact, they can make a movie about an already obscure film that only nerds know about & can make a decent hit! Hell, maybe they can also get it nominated for a few Oscars & make it on my Top 10 list! I was ready to call this duo dead after The Interview made only obvious jokes, The Night Before was ungodly uninteresting, & Sausage Party was straight up unfunny. But The Disaster Artist brought a breath of fresh air, a movie for movie nerds & not just the kind that Google what really happened in the Infinity War comics. Ones that keep up with Nostalgia Critic & Cinema Snob because they’re still pretty big guilty pleasures & hope that they’ll eventually review Where The Dead Go To Die. The kind that already knew that The Room exists, love the fact that The Room exists, were immediately excited when Greg Sestero released his book, & were even more so when James Franco said he wanted to make a movie about it! I do my whole shpeal about how true to life the Franco bros. performances are & how great the directing was. But really, the reason I put this above The Shape Of Water & I, Tonya is because I’m a nerd. That’s mostly it! It’s not even my favorite movie about movies, that’s still Ed Wood.

#2. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 Stepping back & looking at the empire & universe Marvel has created, it’s impressive & incredible just how huge & lucrative it has become. And it wouldn’t have become so if it didn’t have the films to back it up. When the first Guardians Of The Galaxy came out, it was Marvel trying to send the message that they can make a film out of one of their most obscure properties & not only make it a humongous hit, but also make it so good that it ends up on the 1001 Movies To See Before You Die list! And with its sequel, they pumped up everything that made the original great tenfold, added in some heartwarming moments to make sure you don’t leave the theater dry, & a much more interesting villain! And by god is Ego such a fascinating & engrossing villain, especially compared to the nothing of a character that made up Ronan. The way it covers its themes of family & parenthood is clever & amazingly well done. You’re right there with Peter Quill, wondering when to side with his dad or his best friends; whether or not a few good deeds redeems the torture of a childhood he had thanks to Yondu. And that kind of inner thought process is largely thanks to the incredible writing & directing of James Gunn, who is irreplaceable. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 is now my 2nd favorite Marvel movie & 2nd favorite movie of 2017. #RehireJamesGunn

Before we get to #1, here are a few runners up:

Wonder Woman I didn’t realize it until after the fact, but 2017 was a really good year for superhero movies. Spider-Man: Homecoming was an amazing comeback for my favorite hero, Thor: Ragnarok somehow made Thor more likable, even Justice League managed to not piss me off! But, arguably, the most important of these was Wonder Woman which showed that not only can female led superhero movies make money, but also be very good!

Paddington 2 2014′s Paddington surprised both critics & audiences with its genuinity, heart-warming-ness, & immensely likable lead character, gripping everyone. When Paddington 2 came out, it immediately got 100% on RottenTomatoes, & that is a serious rarity. To the point where I first thought it was a fluke, like it got almost entirely middling reviews resulting in a 100% on a movie that generally averaged with 6/10s. Leaving the theater about 2 hours later, I can agree that it not only deserves that 100%, but it’s way better than the first movie! And I love the first movie!

Call Me By Your Name This was actually a really good year for Oscar nominated films. Most years, I don’t even consider most of the nominated movies because they tend to be a little pretentious, long, & boring. Which does have a place, just not the type I tend to watch a million times like the films I do put on my lists. But this year, my list is filled with Oscar winners & I actually wanted to include more like Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, Dunkirk, & All The Money In The World. I think Call Me By Your Name is at least more interesting than most of these if only for the background of being about 2 bisexuals, one being a kid. It can get a little pretentious, long, & boring but definitely worth watching!

The Meyerowitz Stories (New And Selected) Meyerowitz Stories is Adam Sandler’s stab at an artistic movie after nobody saw Ridiculous 6 & Punch Drunk Love continues to garner praise from just about everyone. It’s the beginning of a new kind of Sandler movies as he gets used to his new home on Netflix & realize what kind of movies that kind of audience wants to see. I really hope that he continues to make these kinds of movies in the years to follow!

John Wick Chapter 2 On the side of action movies that aren’t based on comics, the John Wick movies continue to be exciting, action packed, & most importantly, fun! I had fun when I watch these movies, which is something I don’t say about the darker side of modern action movies. I haven’t had this much fun watching an action movie like this since Die Hard!

mother! On the battle of is this movie pretentious garbage or exciting drama; nominated for both an Oscar & a Razzie; do I love or hate mother!... I actually fucking love these kinds of movies! The kind that makes no sense as you’re watching it but every sense after the fact. Movies like Black Swan, Mulholland Drive, & The Cure For Wellness. So I might be biased towards this kind of movie, but I loved it!

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Talk about toxic movie topic, I also really loved The Last Jedi! I actually thought it was a clever film that completely subverted my expectations at every moment. I love that Rae’s parents turned out to be nobodies, it’s such an interesting twist on this build up & arguably the most daring take they could’ve have after the millionth fan theory stated that it’s Luke & Leia. I loved where it left our heroes, at their bleakest moment, paralleling The Empire Strikes Back! I genuinely loved this movie & I’ll admit, I don’t totally get what all the hate is about! But whatever, my list, my runners up, nyeh nyeh.

Bill Nye: Science Guy Here’s my documentary entry... & it was a hard pick between this & Jim And Andy: The Great Beyond but I did inevitably pick this one because Bill Nye is a personal hero of mine. I’m a science dork, I’m subscribed to ASAP Science, I grew up with Bill Nye. I find his journey fascinating, this documentary very well made, & I can’t wait for the next season of Bill Nye Saves The World.

World Of Tomorrow Episode Two: The Burden Of Other People’s Thoughts I really hope Don Hertzfeldt catches on with more movie nerds. Just between this, the first World Of Tomorrow, It’s Such A Beautiful Day, The Meaning Of Life, Rejected, & every other film he’s created, he’s easily one of my favorite directors. Making some of the most thought provoking & intelligent films I’ve ever seen. If I included short films, this would be a serious contender for #1! Please watch this, just the phrase “The Burden Of Other People’s Thoughts” makes this worth watching!

Loving Vincent Fuck! I didn’t even get to include the pretentious animated film of the year? This is the only movie I can think of where literally every frame is a painting & it looks beautiful! Throughout, you can tell the people making this are genuinely passionate about Vincent Van Gogh & that’s what really drives the movie. I also want to take this time to mention My Little Pony: The Movie, which is my “I love this animated movie way more than most people probably should” of the year & I didn’t even have room in the runners up for it!

#1. Logan Last year, I was running around looking for a movie to beat Captain America: Civil War for Best Movie Of 2016. Luckily, I did find it in Arrival but the reason why I so desperately didn’t want Civil War to win out is because it just didn’t feel right. A fun & intelligent film for sure, but mostly surface level in a way the Marvel movies are able to be. For 2017, I saw Logan in theaters & instantly knew it should at least be on my year end top 10. At first it was just #5, but it did eventually climb up as the more I thought about it, the more I loved it. Before long, I was battling whether or not this or Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 should top the list. And though I do think I’ve seen GOTG2 more times than Logan, at the end of the day, Logan is the objectively & subjectively better made film. The action feels dark but in a real way, like this could genuinely be someone’s reality like Die Hard or John Wick. But this is way more clever, intelligent, & interesting than those movies ever were. This was the last film for Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine & for his efforts, it was rightfully nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay at the Oscars. What a way to go out...

[bts-dream-land-blog]

Spending the day with bad boy, pt2.

Part 1 I Part 2

Member: Jungkook

Genre: Angst/ Fluff.

Word count: 2176

Summary: You and Jungkook skipped class because you didn’t finish the project. Jungkook starts driving to who-knows-where and you realize that spending the day with Jungkook aka the Bad boy aka your bully, might not be as bad as you thought it would be

A/N - Helloooooo!! So you guys wanted a part two, and I think part three is gonna come out soon as well. I decided that some of these parts would be from Jungkook’s point of view, so if it confuses you, just know that the part written in cursive font is from Jungkook’s perspective. Thank you for reading! ;)) <3 XOXO- VIC

-

After driving for a really long time (1-2hr) we finally arrive at the spot Jungkook had in mind. At first I thought he was gonna kill me and hide my body in the woods or something, because what else would I have thought of the bad boy himself - but after jamming out in the car with him, that one thought didn't cross my mind anymore. Instead I learned that Jungkook was just like everyone else, and that there was more to him than just that bad boys reputation.

 "So, this is it?" I ask, looking out the window from the Jeep. He nods as he trudged out of the car. I was still looking out, not quite believing my own eyes. I never even knew that places like these existed in our small town, it was beautiful. In front of me was a beautiful scenery, with a clear river. There was a couple of benches on the grass, and trees with swings on them. On the other side of the river was another town, I didn't know which but the view of it was amazing. I'd prefer going here at night, to watch the city lights shine - but this was relaxing as well.

      Jungkook opened my door, and grabbed the bag under my seat. He was about to walk away, but stops to question me - with a look - "are you not coming?"

 I bolted out of the Jeep, and followed Jungkook to where he placed the bag. I recognized a few brands from outside the plastic bag, but I was still wondering what was hidden in there. "What's in there?"

 What can I say, I speak my mind.

 Jungkook turns the plastic bag to my surprise, and pour out all of the content in the bag. Out of it falls, chocolate bars, sandwiches, drinks, chips - just a lot of food. I think I even saw a small ketchup tube. "Food?" I remark.

 "You didn't think I'd drive us all the way out here, without any food?" he asks, mused. When I didn't reply, his face turned into a serious/ confused expression. "Did you?" He added.

 "Sorry, not sorry." I exclaimed. He rolls his eyes, as he walks back to the Jeep. What else could he have in there. Shortly, he came out with a blanket and some hoodies. "What is this, a date?" I joked, scanning the hoodies. They were really nice, I wish I could keep one. No offense to fashion designers, but girl hoodies are so lame. When I buy hoodies, I tend to go to the guys section just for the hoodies - they are so warm and comfy and cool!! Regardless of the comments from my mom, I keep buying them and no one even notices that it's from the boys section.

 "A date?" He repeats, "with you?" He snickered - "never in a million years."

 "Douche." I mumble, grabbing one of the snickers bars infront of me - attempting to eat it, but Jungkook stops me from it. "What?" I cried. He replaces the snickers bar in my hands with a chicken teriyaki sandwich. "Eat this first."

 "Why?"

 "You haven't eaten anything today, and I don't want to be responsible for your death." he remarks.

     "How stupid can you be?"

 "I'm actually pretty smart, thank you."

 "Smart? In what?"

 "Math, physics, Calculus, English, Histor-"

 I cut him off, "Oh really? Then why did you come unprepared today?" The question made the smirk on Jungkook face, fade away and suddenly a rather sad expression appeared. Like always, he was quick to hide it, replacing it back with his signature poker face. "Theres more to it than you think, y/n." The way he said my name, it was different. This time it didn't sound mad, annoyed, jokingly - it was serious.

 Ah, I need to pee.

 He got up from his seat, my eyes now leaving him for even a second. He was about to walk away when I stopped him, "Where are you going?"

 For a second there, I thought he was going to leave me because he was heading towards the  Jeep, "I want to come."

 He turns, and scrunches his eyebrows to the middle part of them. "You want to come and watch me empty my bladder?" He teased, smirking.

 "Well, if you want to." He added, "actually, maybe I should just do it here." His hands lead their way to the zip of his pants, and my eyes widened like two golf balls as I buried my face in one of the hoodies laying on the table as I screamed loudly, earning hysterical laughs from his side.

 She's actually kinda cute. - suck it up, Jungkook.

 "Can you hand me the water bottle?" Jungkook asked from behind the Jeep. "Are you serious?"

 "No, I'm Jungkook, now can you please hand me the water bottle."

 "I can throw you the water bottle." Jungkook grunts annoyed from the other side and I grunt back mocking him "-to you too!" I add. "I swear to god, if you don't give me the water bottle I'm gonna chase you around with my unwashed hands."

 Because it sounded like something he actually would've done, I quickly grabbed the water bottle in front of me and threw it in his direction. When it landed with a loud thud, and a loud groan, I screamed "YOU ARE WELCOME." angrily.

 At least say, thank you.

 **

 "That's not true! I've never stolen anything before!" I said to my defense. We were currently laying on our backs looking up at the clear skies as we discussed the different rumors swerving around about each of us.

‘’Figures.’’ I sat up and stared down at him with a puzzled expression. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ I sassed. Jungkook got up on his butt as well, clicking his tounge. ‘’I mean; you never do anything bad – at least by what I’ve seen.’’

 ‘’And what exactly have you seen?’’

 ‘’You’re good to everyone, you’ve never had detention, you never disobey your parents and you never complain. Admit it, you’re a goody two shoes.’’ It was a witty comment, but it was all in fact true. I’ve never seen myself as a brat or an unrespectful child – at least to my parents that is. But I choose to be happy, and I choose to be nice because what good comes out of being rude.

 ‘’Do you have a problem with it?’’ I questioned. Jungkook runs a hand through his brown locks, ‘’Not really.’’

      I nodded. ‘’Good.’’ I looked at the scenery in front of me again, the sun shining right on me. In the blinding light of the August noon, the river looked like pool you saw in your friend’s garden when you were little. You just wanted to jump in it. The heat would cause and illusion of wavering images, making me hella thirsty.  I grabbed my own water bottle, and tried to pull up the cap. It was slightly stuck, so I tried pulling it up and eventually I managed to do it – but unfortunately the water happened to splash in Jungkook’s face. I could tell the anger and annoyance was boiling up deep in his system. ‘’Sorry?’’ It came out more like a question than a statement. He ripped off his hoodie from his body, and wiped away the water drops that was on his face annoyed. ‘’Do you want water?’’ I asked, innocently.

 He cocked an eyebrow. ‘’Do you want to get hit?’’

    I couldn’t help but giggle, ‘’Are you going punch me?’’ I leaned in closer, raising my shoulder. ‘’Go, ahead. Punch me.’’ I laughed.

 How can I punch you? You are too adorable.

 Instead of punching me, he just groans before laying back down on his back. I chuckled over him, and laid down too.

 Her hand slightly brushed against mine when she laid down, and I couldn’t help it. I should be over all the butterflies, but I guess I was still sort of attracted to her. Girls would always touch me, and it made me feel things that – but yet, this special girl here hasn’t touched me once and she could still make me feel things I shouldn’t feel, when she’s around.

 There was nothing I loved more than these hot autumn days, when we can sit around and let the sun beat down on our skin. I wouldn’t exactly call myself pale, but I still loved autumn. It was the season where some days were hot as summer days, and other days were cold as mid-December. The green is a soft green that almost has a hint of blue and in the sky is enough pristine white cloud to show you how beautiful the sky was, how perfect. I closed my eyes, and let the warmth soak in.

 There wasn’t a sound coming from beside me, and I quickly turned to look if she was dead or something but luckily she was just sleeping. It was a lovely sight from my view. I couldn’t help but admire how flawless her skin was. I’ve seen a lot of girls, and not a single one of them had flawless skin like hers. I knew she used makeup, but it still looked good and natural. Her lips were carefully tinted-red. It was like no matter the distance my attraction to her remained the same.

 Trust me, I felt guilty for all of the rumors spreading and all the nick names and all of that shit spreading to the whole school. When we were in grade six, I had a crush on her – and to me, that sounded crazy., I wanted to be closer to her and talk to her at school, but at the same time I didn’t people to see me with a geek like her. I had a great reputation in grade six, and I didn’t want her to ruin it. Instead of approaching her nicely like any other guy, I approached her by bulliying. That was my excuse to talking to her – by bullying her. I didn’t know that it would last for this long. When I started high school, I didn’t think she would go to the same one that I went to, but unfortunately she did. My friends used the nickname that I gave her, ‘’Harriet Potter.’’ She used to use glasses that Harry potter had, and so I changed the ‘’Harry’’ to a feminine version – ‘’Harriet.’’

 I still had a great reputation at high school, and this time I thought I was actually over that small puppy crush, but seeing her after summer this year, made me realize that I was still attracted. My heart tempo increased when I was assigned to do a project with her, and I felt guilty as fuck when I had to take care of mom and completely block her out. She had to the assignment alone, but it was a presentation so when I didn’t pick up her calls she had no clue what to write about and she ended up not writing anything. I knew this would affect her grades and that’s why I made mental note to talk to Mrs. Glory after this.

 A loud ringtone blasted through my ear, ‘’Sorry.’’ Jungkook muttered actually apologizing for waking me up. ‘’Hey, hyung.’’

 Jungkook was Korean, and I knew that in Korean by watching k-dramas that hyung meant older brother. I’m guessing his older brother was calling him. I watched his face expression fall to a concerned one, his brows scrunching and his jaw tighten. I noticed how he clutched his phone hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. He ended the call without a single word to his older brother, and turned to look at me. ‘’I’m sorry, I need to go.’’

 ‘’Where?’’ I questioned.

     He didn’t answer, he just trudged to the car. I quickly picked up all the blankets and the hoodies and jumped into his car. ‘’Where are we going?’’

 ‘’We?’’ – I nod, ‘’There’s no we, you are going home.’’

 ‘’Jungkook, I can’t go home – it’s only 10.17, my mom will call the school.’’

 He slammed his head to the steering wheel lightly, as he grunted. I didn’t know how to react, so I just sat in silence drumming my fingers on the head board. There’s another groan escaping his mouth, ‘’Okay, fine. You can come, but you stay in the car.’’

  ‘’Okay boss’’ I salute, making him roll his eyes. Something about his cocky personality was different now, instead of the relaxed expression, he was wearing a frown. He looked burdened, it looked like he was trying so hard to keep himself up, but was on the verge of breaking out any minute. It made me want to hug him, because for once I didn’t see him as a douchebag or my bully. Right now, Jungkook appeared like a friend to me. A friend that needed to be hugged, a friend that needed comfort. He looked…so lonely.

 I wonder what that call was about…

[soap3rz]

Plan your visit (and reservation requests) accordingly!

The given address goes to a Steampunk cafe specializing in games and coffee–another novelty era ripe for nostalgic yearning but not the one we were looking for. Where the hell is this place? The first time I had visited Volstead’s Emporium in Uptown, Minnesota I was accompanied by a friend who was already privy to the location. Half the appeal of a secret speakeasy hidden away in a niche part of town already known for it’s fanciful coffee-shops, coin operated video game arcade clubs, and ‘hot yoga’–is that it’s a destination prided on the fact that you kind of already need to know where you’re going. Like being a member of an Eyes Wide Shut sexy, Eleusinian Mysteries kind of cult meeting or a pirate marauding around the Caribbean looking for the Isla De Muerta–an island that cannot be found except by those who already know where it is. Being ‘in the know’ about Volstead’s Emporium adds a lot to its notoriety. Going to their website offers no assistance–there is no address, no online menu, no pictures or an extensive proselytizing ‘About’ page. It’s tough to know this place even exists, or what it is, unless you become one of the initiated via word of mouth.

We were driving around Uptown one evening where, during a traffic stop, I recognized the location we were at–and that down that seedy, familiar-looking alleyway nestled behind the Steampunk cafe was the secret speakeasy I had wanted to take my boyfriend to for ages. It felt like a re-discovery and I hastily tried to remember where it was for next time, when we would plan our visit and get to transport ourselves to a faux, 1920’s era den of libations.

~

For those who need a quick History lesson to refresh–the Temperance movement in the United States won a political victory from 1920-1933 when the entire country went “dry”. Meaning, the 18th Amendment to the Constitution was drafted and the production, sale, and transportation of alcohol was banned. To enforce this draconian rule, the government passed the Volstead Act (Where our friendly Emporium likely took its name from) which went a step further in defining the intoxicating substances that were banned and the punishments that came with breaking these laws. The rise of bootlegging, gangsters, and speakeasies–secret law-breaking establishments selling banned booze–became a direct consequence and the 1920’s is forever remembered with these associations. 

~

Unfortunately, memory is only as good as it is served. Turns out, when the summer construction is hazardous and the Happy Hour besought motorists are honking more persistently than a skein of geese, it can be a bit frustrating to try and remember a scattering of location markers after finally getting lucky finding a parking spot. Had I known that the large, neon gleaming sign for beer and bratwurst king New Bohemia resided across the street from our desired crime scene alleyway, our journey on empty stomachs might have been easier to bear. Once found, walking down said alleyway gives off an appropriate air of sleaziness, and as sweltering as the heat often gets in the summer, I was just thankful it wasn’t garbage from the line of dumpsters that marked our path. Hanging a left midway, there’s a smattering of apartment balconies claustrophobic-ly clustered together and in the small back of the building obstructed by vents, there resides a large bolted metal door with a creepy red serial killer light hanging above it. A most welcoming destination, if I ever saw one.

Yeah this seems…

…safe?

 “It’s all you, babe.”

I took this initiative with the fervent composure of a Flapper girl, who had likely already spent most of the evening dancing the Charleston to extinction, and rapped the door with my knuckles like I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. The slot in the door opens and a pair of eyes greets you–“Yes?”

“We have a reservation for two!”

“Name?”

The door is unbolted and we entered into a stairwell devoid of any identifying features aside from the bookie wearing a surprisingly dapper get-up. “Enjoy” is all he says as he goes back to manning the door. It’s up to us to take ourselves down the stairs and to the basement where we stand momentarily confused, there are at least three doors to choose from–not one of them marked with a sparkling Go Here to Drink sign to help us out. We could just make out the muffled sound of chatter and glass clinking enough to try Door Number 1–which ended up leading us into a time machine.

Managed to capture before the place got packed!

An oft overlooked aspect of any dining experience is the ability to transport a patron. This can happen with really good food–it’s much easier to feel like you’re on the coast of Sorrento enjoying a bowl of pasta in a white wine sauce when the spaghetti is al dente and the clams are cooked to perfection and you’re even given a shot of limoncello to chase it all down with. But atmosphere is just as important too and at Volstead’s–you do feel like you just stepped into a 1920’s speakasy which would make even the most classy of bathtub gin stirrers proud.

There are no windows and the establishment is dimly lit, there’s a piano and a jazz player in the back corner strumming soft melodies with the tempered line of the bartender shaking drinks. People are laughing uproariously all around, likely amplified by the low ceiling and general jovialness that comes with a really well mixed cocktail. It’s welcoming–and cuts the tension had while trying to find the place to begin with.

The Old Fashioneds here are one of my favorites in the state: Bourbon, applewood smoked demerara, and house blend bitters.

We were seated at a booth across from the parlor tables, draped with curtains we could easily pull for more privacy. It felt like we were only missing poker chips and the acrid smoke of cigars hanging in the air to set the mood into one in need of a police raid. For another brief moment, I felt like a femme fatale who was clandestinely meeting with a surly detective across from me, who was cloaked in a make-believe fedora and interrogating me on my whereabouts the night Tommy the Gun was murdered–all under the veneer of a heavy sepia filter. Or that was just the Old Fashioneds talking.

Volstead’s is a novelty experience, a way to feel like you’re in a piece of history for the night–surrounded by good drinks and food to boot. There’s a library room where you could sit and partake in a re-imagined game of Clue wearing monocles and dinner jackets, a large dial safe loitering under the stairs where surely the funds of nefarious mobster money ventures is well hidden, and there is even a telephone booth in the back by the restrooms for even the most ardent Doctor Who fan to enjoy. Voldstead’s is straight up cool so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

The scene of the crime, where Mrs. Peacock allegedly bludgeoned Colonel Mustard with a copy of Marie Kondo’s Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

No one warned us about the framed mirror on the wall of our booth, that it would swing open and the waiter would grin as we jumped in surprise, serving as a portal in which to take our food and drink orders. I think the waitstaff probably finds most of their amusement in this gimmick–and it’s certainly a fun experience to team up with your waiter on. There is a buzzer under the mirror when you’re ready to order and there was at least one more incident where the frame creaked open like a horror movie prop with no waiter to be found, only for him to pop up into view a second later and ask what we’d like–to more jump scares from us. It’s hilarious.

Bwaaaahm

Now all of this is fine and dandy, right? But the main attraction of any dining establishment is the food. And oh boy, does it not disappoint. The first time I went to Voldstead’s, I chose a guilt-free zucchini carbonara with added shrimp that was surprisingly complex and topped off the evening with warm, gooey bread pudding. This time, I went with the usual favorites my boy detective and I usually partake in at other restaurants–the first test for us being the charcuterie plate. I finally learned how to properly pronounce “charcuterie” when I embarrassingly ordered it incorrectly and my windowed waiter set me straight–not sure whether he was smirking at my inability to speak French or because I was recovering from another fun jump scare. Not to be a gerkin (no old fashioneds were consumed in the making of this dad joke), but I’m pretty easy to satisfy when it comes to charcuterie plates–the server had me at spicy salami, spec, and capicola. I was so excited I didn’t even pay attention to what the cheeses were.

Mmmm, gerkins

Next, I ordered the most basic sounding ‘Steak & Potatoes’ which was anything but and I got it cooked a beautiful, medium-rare despite ordering it just medium, but hey–they were just looking out for me and my philistine steak preparation ordering ways. This is one of the better steaks I’ve eaten and I didn’t need to drop a $500 tab at Manny’s to enjoy it–this gorgeous hunk of meat is up there with the bavette I had at 112 Eatery and the steak I had at a (now closed) restaurant outside of New York City I had visited in high school that was apparently one of Elvis’ favorites.

8oz Bavette, herb potatoes and grilled asparagus with peppercorn cognac sauce. #NeverForget

Though any sane person would be full at this point and I was working on my second cocktail (Like Clockwork–Cognac, Bourbon, Dolin dry, Amaro Nonino, Orange Bitters, Expressed Orange–definitely got me all good and “bezoomny”!), a place can’t be sufficiently done and tried until you order a dessert and a regular, black coffee. Now, it should shock no one to know that I can be a bit of a pedant about certain things–and coffee is one of those things. I’ve worked in and out of the coffee industry for the better part of 8 years as a barista and on the corporate level slinging office work. It’s not particularly hard to find quality, well-sourced beans and it is even easier to brew them right. A restaurant can tell me a lot about how much they care about every aspect of their commitment to quality and food by how good their regular brewed coffee tastes. I’ve been disappointed in establishments that otherwise provide good meals but then serve up bitter, black water mudd that tastes like it had been sitting for more than 2 hours in back. I move from disappointed to irritated when this crime is committed by an authentically-declared French or Italian restaurant where ending your meal with a good coffee is tantamount to the cultural experience. One sip from Volstead’s chosen brew and I knew this place really was every bit as great as I knew it to be.

Tiramisu because I’m ‘basic Italian’

The tiramisu I ordered for dessert wasn’t bad either–and as your resident swarthy Italian-American, I’ve had plenty of tiramisu in my day. The only thing about it I found particular to note, was how the lady fingers weren’t soggy and absolutely drowning in booze and/or coffee. Unlike me this evening, of course.

So, dear reader, consider yourself well and in the know about Volstead’s Emporium in Uptown, MN. I’ve now passed on the secret to you–and if you’re in the area or visiting the Twin Cities, I hope that you take a moment to stumble around W. Lake St. attempting to find it. But shhhhh–don’t tell your dinner companion(s) about the mirror window.

Volstead’s Emporium: A Hidden Speakeasy in Uptown, MN The given address goes to a Steampunk cafe specializing in games and coffee--another novelty era ripe for nostalgic yearning but not the one we were looking for.