#wanted to add more but my brain is fried so maybe next time

[momomallowart]

Insane crossover actually

[yunwangja]

undercurrents | signal no. 7

masterlist | next signal

you annoyingly sigh as you turn off your phone and put it in your pocket after re-reading your texts with samu an hour ago. you hated that he was right. as much as you hate to admit it, you needed that lecture.

unknowingly, you had a lot to think about this… friendship you have with kuroo. ever since you saw that match, you acted, well, a bit more ridiculous than usual. it doesn’t really help that he’s just across you eating fries, observing the hustle outside the food joint you were at.

because, it made sense. why are you getting so defensive when he asked you about how close you were getting these days? and why are you so worked up after seeing he treats other girls? if you think about it, you did like being around kuroo. why else would you always drag him to your stupid shenanigans?

your mind is conflicted as you secretly watch kuroo in front of you. is it really just because he teases you a lot? or… are you putting up your guard about how far this friendship would go?

but why would you feel that way? you try to rack your brain to find a reason.

wait. is it…?

nevermind.

you decide to brush it off. for now. you don’t want to think about it. you don’t have to go down on that rabbit hole.

you take a sip of your iced tea, trying to wash away any further thought. bottomline is, kuroo’s being a good friend to you. and you like that. and maybe, you wanted to look for signs that he did too, without actually asking it and embarrassing yourself.

maybe that’s why you’ve been acting this way. maybe. maybe.

you settle it down to that for now.

“yn, want some ice cream?” kuroo’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, grounding you back in the moment. you glance up at him, momentarily caught off guard by the easygoing nature of his offer. there’s a brief hesitation as you process his words, but eventually, you nod.

“yeah, sure,” you respond, your tone casual. you reach into your bag, fingers brushing against the familiar texture of your wallet as you prepare to pay for your treat. but before you can pull out any money, kuroo swiftly waves his hand, stopping you in your tracks.

“no, i’ll treat you. don’t worry about it,” he says with a dismissive wave, already standing up from his seat. it’s a small gesture, but one that feels surprisingly natural. as he moves to head to the counter, he turns back to you with a questioning look. “what flavor do you want?”

“strawberry, please,” you reply. kuroo’s lips twitch into a smirk as he tilts his head slightly, raising an eyebrow.

“so you’re a strawberry girl, huh?” he teases, the playful tone in his voice bringing out a light chuckle from you.

you roll your eyes, a smirk of your own forming. “yeah, whatever you call it,” you reply, leaning into the familiar banter. he just grins, clearly amused, and turns to head to the counter to place your order.

a few minutes later, kuroo returns, holding two cups of ice cream. he hands you your strawberry cup with a casual smile, and you take it with a quiet “thanks,” digging in almost immediately. the sweet, familiar taste of strawberry fills your mouth, and you savor it as a comforting reminder of simpler times.

kuroo takes a bite of his own ice cream, leaning his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his hand as he looks at you, his expression curious. “yn. really. what’s gotten into you?”

“nothing,” you reply, shrugging as you take another spoonful of ice cream. “aren’t you thankful i’m being good now?” you add with a playful smirk, trying to steer the conversation away from anything too serious.

kuroo chuckles, shaking his head in mild disbelief. “i very much am, but… it’s unusual,” he says, his tone light but probing. “you even let me choose the design for my own banner after you rejected it a million times.”

“i’m telling you, it’s better than tooru’s,” he continues, his eyes gleaming with a bit of playful mischief. you roll your eyes at his persistence, but there’s a small smile playing on your lips.

“you… deserve it, i guess,” you murmur, swirling your spoon around in your cup as you feel the weight of the words sink in. “since you actually came along with me. so. consider it a thank you,” you add with a casual shrug, trying to keep the mood light. you take another bite of ice cream, hoping the action will keep you grounded in the moment.

when you look up, you notice a surprised expression on kuroo’s face. his reaction catches you off guard, and he takes a moment before responding, his voice filled with genuine curiosity. “did i hear that right?”

“why are you so surprised?” you ask, raising an eyebrow at his reaction. “you’re acting as if i said something groundbreaking. i just let you choose what design you liked, kuroo.” your tone is matter-of-fact, but there’s a hint of defensiveness.

“yeah. but…” he pauses, a small, knowing grin forming on his lips. “you realize you chose to flatter me instead of putting tooru first this time, right?” his tone is teasing, but there’s a hint of sincerity that you can’t quite ignore.

your brows knit together in confusion, and you shake your head. “what are you talking about? i did not!” you protest, a bit more forcefully than you intended.

“that has nothing to do with this. tooru’s different, of course. but you’re also a friend. i didn’t choose you over him or anything,” you explain, your voice firm as you try to clarify your intentions. kuroo’s eyes widen slightly, as if he’s caught something significant in your words.

“you think of me as a friend?” he echoes, his voice soft with a hint of surprise. he dramatically covers his mouth with his hands, his eyes widening in mock shock. “oh my god.”

you roll your eyes, a smirk playing on your lips as you give him a light kick under the table. “shut up! what do you call this then?” you retort, your tone playful, trying to bring the conversation back to a more comfortable place.

kuroo laughs heartily, the sound easing the tension that had built up. he leans over the table, resting his arms on it as he gives you a sincere smile.

“yeah,” he says, his voice softening as he looks at you. “i guess we are.”

notes

the wheels are TURNING !! thank you samu

man as the writer of this smau i felt so bad for making kuroo such a yn simp when she's so >:( at him alll the time kasdashda but it's all for the plot i swear

anyway it's still progress !!!

taglist: @lvtilzs @rarararararq @iamfontenlos @kurooswifeyy @secretsunsetsociety @kagsnumnine @yumiecheesecrackers @tojirin @jaynawayna @noxva08 @zahrawr-writes-fanfics @urslytherin @mawenskiblue @smellysluna @cccccccccccleo

[mediocreanomaly]

May we have Vashwood x reader part 3 please?

Authors Note: my poor anon you've been sitting in the box but I shall release you.

Sorry guys! I was super busy and then I put a bunch of work into a DnD Campaign so my creative brain was fried a bit then I got sick and then my hands got messed up from saving my cat from a dog attack and- I'm rambling! Sorry for the long wait is what I mean! Enjoy!

Other Parts Here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 3 (Alt. End)

Vashwood x Reader Soulmate Au Pt.3

No. No absolutely not is your first thought, your second thought being I'm going to kick these idiots ass.

"Are you listening doll face?" The man, who's name is presumably "Nick" says.

It's quiet besides the blood rushing in your ears. Everyone in town is probably asleep or close to it by now and these two just keep watching you like you're supposed to know how to react to this, like this is remotely a normal situation to be in.

"Did we break them? I told you it was too much! You never listen to me" the spikey one pouts. They seem comfortable with each other, you wonder how long they've been together. You suppose it makes sense that if they had found each other first they wouldn't have thought to look for you, having multiple soulmates was rare and considering you did everything in your power to stay out of trouble it tracked that a third soulmate would be nearly undetectable, maybe you should have gotten hurt more often...no that was stupid these two had certainly caused enough pain for the three of you.

"We didn't break them just give them a second they're thinking, Jesus spikey are you the reason they say blondes are dumb?"

"Hey!"

The two men bicker and you notice that they're different in a lot of ways right off the bat. Blonde and black hair, blue and brown eyes, light and tan skin, it almost makes you wonder how you're supposed to play in here. How in the grand scheme of things the universe chose you to stand next to these, frankly, very bizarre (and handsome) men. You need to say something, you need to voice your concerns your hopes your worries-

"I hate you" It's all you can really think to say. In a way it's true and in more ways it's not. Be that as it may with all the emotions flooding through you right now on top of the fact that they've revealed themselves in the most unorthodox way possible it's making it hard to express what you actually feel clearly. Something along the lines of "you two made my life a living hell for such a long time I wanted to kill you but I've matured since then but that doesn't take away the childhood that got stripped from me but I also understand it's most likely not your fault and the fact that there's two of you makes more sense but also gives me 100 more questions-" would probably be more accurate. but "I hate you" is what ends up coming out your mouth.

"You...what?" you flinch. You weren't exactly ready for that to be asked in the most heart shattering tone in the world and when you glance up to see the blonde wears an expression akin to that of a kicked puppy you feel regret creep through your veins.

"Vash they don't mean that, I said mean shit too when we found out" Nick huffs. Ah so the kicked puppy's name is Vash good to know- ah...hang on a moment..

"Vash?" you repeat, "Vash like....like Vash the Stampede?" you say dumbly, but there was no way the man you had nearly made cry from one sentence was the Vash the Stampede that was plastered on every god forsaken wanted poster across Gunsmoke

This catches his attention, the wounded look turning into something more wide eyed like a man who's forgotten to turn off the oven at home.

"We never even introduced ourselves!" he says in alarm, brushing himself off as if it'll cause a redo of the entire situation.

"Needle noggin-" "shh"

Vash scolds the other man whos already patting his breast pocket for another smoke clearly annoyed with how this whole thing is playing out.

"Vash the Stampede and-" Vash nudges Nick who reluctantly adds

"Nicholas D. Wolfwood"

"-at your service! We've been traveling far and wide-"

"Because Spikey always get's chased out-" this earns Nick an elbow in the side which you also wince at when you feel it dig into your own ribs. Vash quickly gives you an apologetic smile but continues.

"-in hopes of finding you! y/n, we're your soulmates!" He finishes with a half hearted wiggle of his fingers and and look that reads "tada?"

You blink dully at them. Yeah that added up. This would be your life wouldn't it? First you are tormented by pain your whole life and now you find out it was because your soulmates were the man with a 1,000,000,000 double dollar bounty on his head and...actually you have no idea who this Nicholas guy is. Considering the cross...Jesus reincarnate? Unlikely but at this point you'd believe anything.

"nuh-uh" it...comes out your mouth before you can stop it.

"nuh-uh? What the fuck do you mean nuh-uh?" Wolfwood gapes pulling his glasses up, yeah...not your best moment.

"I mean, no thank you. Look, I'm sure you're great people- or maybe you aren't I don't know I heard a rumor Vash the Stampede eats babies-" "What?!?! I don't-"

"Besides the point!" you interrupt "Look I didn't ever plan on meeting you, hell I'm not sure I even want to know you. So...I think it'd just be easier if the two of you just..." your sentence dies in your throat the longer they look at you hoping they catch your drift.

"Because we hurt you?" Nick steps a bit closer and you tell yourself it's the soulmate connection currently frying your brain and not the fact this well toned man has his whole chest out right now.

"N-No, well maybe? It's complicated" you had never planned on meeting your soulmate- or soulmates but in hindsight a bit of practice of what you were going to say might have been smart.

"We don't have to leave yet, we can stay- just so you get used to us! We aren't that bad...promise" Vash offers and damn those critically effective puppy dog eyes he uses as he moves to get a bit closer too.

"It's not that I think you're bad, it's just...I mean I hardly know you" you try, you already know it won't work. Despite not knowing them you can tell they seem the hard headed type.

"We're soulmates" Nick counters lazily as if you're the one being irrational.

"I- I don't know, I'm cleaning up here and-" "we can help!" the eager blond insist, with another step closer.

"you really don't have to-" "it's the least we can do, we owe ya don't we?" Nick muses, again another step.

"Well I wouldn't say that, I'm sure it wasn't your fault-" "Maybe, maybe not but we've been looking for you for a long time" You notice Vash has a beauty mark right under his eye there's a weird urge to reach out and trace it.

"Looking for me?" you ask

"Mhmm, since we caused you a lifetime of distress I'm sure, blessed are the merciful and all that, it's your turn to receive a little mercy" ignoring the awful half bible quote Nick's smell is invading your nose, like smoke, cedarwood and-

You aren't 100% sure how it happens, all you know is you're sandwiched between the two men. It was a trap for sure, moving in ever so carfully like they were herding a scared animal. This should alarm you, two men you've just meet keeping you in place, but for some reason a warmth spreads across you. It's like seeing an old friend or coming home for holidays, a certain sort of familiarity and safeness despite not knowing much about the two at all.

"You can feel it can't you?" Vash coos down at you, using his flesh hand to tilt your head up to meet his face, stark blue eyes deeper than the ocean gaze down at you and god when did he take those glasses off?

"It was weird the first time we met too, but it feels good though right?" Nicks voice makes you shiver as his mouth ghost over your ear, hands coming to settle at your hips.

"It feels.." your eyes flutter "Like home" the three of you say in sync, Vash and Nick chuckle as if this was a predictable response but something tells you they must've said the same cheesy line when they first met.

"We don't want to hurt you anymore" Vash's other hand rubs soft circles against your ribs and you feel the sudden urge to melt into the two of them.

"We've been thinking...that we should balance it out." Vash hums as Nick works on nipping at your ear

"Balance it out?" You almost don't recognize your own voice with how breathy it ends up coming out. They really shouldn't be having this effect on you, you should be yelling, or scolding them- no you'd definitely scold them later that was still on the table but...right now seemed like a bad time.

"yeah sweetheart, pleasure for pain right?" Nick chuckles in your ear, deep and gravely whether it's from lust or the cigarette he just put out you aren't sure.

"So?" he continues, "What do you say?" you feel Vash kiss at the corner of your mouth and Nicks hot breath against your neck

"Let us show you how good we can make you feel instead?"

[canirove]

My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 17

Author's note: Sorry about this chapter being extremely short. I tried to think of something to add, but my brain is fried this week 😅 We only have four chapters left after this one, and I promise you they are way better and that important things are happening!

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"That was a nice car, wasn't it?" grandma said when I arrived at her house.

"It's just a car" I shrugged.

"Is it his? Did he drive you all the way from Manchester?"

"Who?" I said, playing dumb but already feeling my face burning.

"Your neighbour. The one you definitely don't fancy."

"Who do you not fancy?" grandad asked, showing up out of nowhere.

"Her neighbour."

"Rodri?"

"I already told you it's not him, grandad." 

"But you said his name starts with an R and he is the only one."

"And she also said that he wasn't a player. But that car was very football player like. So big and expensive..."

"You are not going to let it go, are you?" I said, letting out a big sigh.

"We are noisy, sweetheart. What can I say" grandad shrugged.

"Well, if you want me to ask him to get us some tickets for the City-Arsenal game, you better behave yourself."

"Wait, wait, wait" grandad said. "Seriously?"

"Yep. Next to Arsenal's bench if you want."

"I won't say another word, then" he said.

"Does that mean that you will finally invite us to visit you?" grandma asked.

"Only if you behave."

"We will. Won't we, love?" grandad said.

"We will" she smiled.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"It'll be ok, sweetie" grandma said, giving my hand a little squeeze.

We were back at my parent's house. My old house.

My mother was throwing a party to celebrate her 50th birthday, and she had somehow convinced my dad to let me come. Apparently, he had relaxed a bit since I had gotten a job even if it was as a nanny. But with him, you never know. 

"Oh, you came!" my mother said when she saw me, giving me a hug.

"I promised I would, didn't I?"

"Thank you" she said, whipping away a tear. "You look so good. You are like glowing, which means that you must be happy."

"I am, yes. Happy birthday" I said, giving her my present.

"Oh, you didn't have to get me anything! Can I open it now?"

"It's your birthday. You can do whatever you want" I smiled.

"Oh, darling! It is beautiful!" my mum said.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it! Since when do you have good taste picking gifts?" she laughed.

"I had a bit of help" I confessed. 

"Well, then tell you helper thank you from me" she said, hugging me again.

"I will."

"There you... Are" my father said from behind my mum.

"Hello dad."

"Hi" he said. 

"Look at her. Doesn't she look good?" my mum says.

He just nodded, his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Let's go sit and catch up for a bit before the other guests arrive" she said, grabbing my arm with one hand and my dad's with the other.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"So you got yourself a job, uh?" my father said. The party had been going for a few hours, and that was the first time he had talked to me directly, probably encouraged by the couple of drinks he had had.

"Yep."

"A nanny for a posh divorced woman."

"She isn't posh. She comes from a family like ours."

"But she still is divorced, isn't she?"

"She is, yes. Is that a problem?"

"No, not all" he said, taking another sip from his drink. "And you teach piano to her daughter."

"I do."

"Is she good?"

"She isn't bad, gets everything pretty fast. But she's more interested in football these days."

"Football" he snorted. "That will take her nowhere." 

"But at least she is doing what she likes, not what others like."

"I'm sorry" my dad muttered after a couple of minutes of awkward silence. 

"What?"

"I'm sorry" he said again. "For what I did to you. I shouldn't have been so... You know."

"You shouldn't have, no."

"Do you think... That maybe one day... We'll be able to... Have a normal relationship?" he asked, nervously playing with his glass.

"You already said sorry, which is the most difficult part. So maybe."

"Good... Good" he said, going back to the party. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"He said sorry?" 

"Yep."

"It's a beginning" Rúben said. While I was with my family he had stayed in London meeting with some friends, and now he was also driving me back together to Manchester. 

"Yeah" I sighed. "But I don't think he'll like you."

"Why not?" Rúben chuckled.

"He thinks football players are dumb, earn way too much money, and that it is a pointless career choice."

"He isn't wrong about the money. But I'll prove him wrong about everything else" he said with that smirk of his.

[oonajaeadira]

Hi Adira!

Last week and next week I am living the life of a paid musician (pit then orchestra) and I am fried. Seeing as how you’re familiar with the professional performer life, I was wondering if you have any advice on how to make it mentally and physically sustainable?

I am hoping that more of these opportunities will come my way and I want to be able to do it without spending a week in bed afterwards…

Ooof. I've been there. I mean, you gotta do the basics--sleep, good food, water. I also rely on copious amounts of coffee.

But the thing that usually gets me through a prolonged show-mode slam is plan ahead and then literally taking it one. day. at. a. time.

Don't look down those calendar days and wish for Friday. It's only going to make you burn out on Tuesday. Literally living in the moment saves my ass every time. Assess what you need from moment to moment. Are you hungry? Need a snack? Just sit and rest? Got a couple of hours but just exhausted? Don't worry about the "other stuff." That will be waiting for you at the end of the week. Just do what you need to that day to feel rested in your mind and body. Even if it's just zoning out to tv; don't feel guilty about that. It's just for this moment. There will be productive moments later. This one is for Narcos.

This is not to say you shouldn't plan ahead. Get your laundry done before the big week. Make big batches of good food you can eat on the go or take very minimal time to prepare for a meal so you don't stress about food prep or fall into the trap of fast food which will zap your energy and time and moneys.

One of my biggest events of the year is a two-week period where I'm literally at the office at 10am, participating in the evening events from 5-11pm, and then co-hosting an after-event until around 1am. When you factor in drive time and showers, that leaves me just enough time to sleep. Sometimes.

So I make sure to do my laundry right before. I'll even maybe organize my closet in a way where I can just pull out clothes without thinking too hard. Take an assessment of your groceries/toiletries and make sure you have what you need, because nothing will frazzle you more than not having it and/or having to squeeze in time to get to the shops. (If you do have to have something, mail order.) Make a go-bag for the week with anything you might need (including an extra change of clothes if you need it).

And if there's anything you can put off until after the big event, PUT IT OFF. Just mentally prepare yourself for big focus on the performing for that short burst of time.

When my big event is coming up, this is an example of what I do for food:

Bag of nuts and/or trail mix to keep in my bag.

Bag of carrot sticks I can keep in the fridge at work and a jar of peanut butter at my desk specifically for them. Fk spooning that shit out, dip your sticks in it.

I will boil up an entire family-sized package of Buttoni tortellini, dump in a whole container of the brand's pesto sauce, one whole chopped bell pepper, three whole packages of sprinkle tomatoes (or one package of halved cherry tomatoes), a whole package of peas (steamfresh microwave packet), and half a chopped red onion. MIX. That will give you a pasta salad for at least a week that you can eat cold right out of the fridge or warm up real quick and has a ton of veggies. And if you need protein, you can fix your meats separately and just add them in when you fix up a bowl. The key is to pack it full of tasty veggies you like that will balance the oils/fats of the pesto and turbo charge the carbs for lots of energy. (Pro tip: get a pair of really good kitchen scissors if you're like me and bad at chopping veggies or have terrible knife skills or terrible knives. So much quicker to cut.)

Starbucks via packets are a life saver if you have access to hot water and don't have time to make/grab coffee.

Laugh when you can. Step outside and focus on one thing--one flower, the way the sun hits a stop sign. Let your brain be simple for a little bit every day--I call this "letting it hang to get the wrinkles out". When you've been stationary too long, stretch. And when you feel stressed, close your eyes and imagine Pedro gently placing a finger on any spot that is tense until you let it go.

[snakegorl212006]

Mystery shop

I really do my best to adapt to this change in living which includes taking care of the property and the wild animals that just happen to want a snack. I also understand why I have to live this way. It’s explainable. But the doors opening and closing constantly in Heartslabyul, running noises in Scarabia, music playing in Pomefiore, the increase of shadowy figures in Diasomnia, items getting rearrange or missing in Savanaclaw, the locked door in Octavinelle keeps rattling everytime i walk pass, even that dang life size doll keeps moving around in Ignihyde. Other than grim who’s been promoted to somewhat of a house cat, I live alone. Completely alone. I sighed into my desk chair as I relaxed my fried brain. I would call Crowley but he probably would think I’m going insane and that it might be the isolation of this place. Maybe I just need to leave and go out somewhere. There is a town away from the manor. It’s around a 30-40 minute walk which isn't too bad as long as I don't go into a shopping spree. After getting dressed in some comfortable wear, I began my walk down to the town and made sure I locked the gate behind me. It was a peaceful walk. There were a lot of people in the main street, almost looking like a large shopping district. I began walking around enjoying the stores until I spotted one that caught my interest. Sam’s Mystery shop. It was a cool yet creepy looking shop that seemed out of place due to the other brightly colored shops. But many people are going in and out of it so I assume it’s probably for aesthetics. I entered the shop to be greeted by weird trophies and collectables and had relatively normal items like milk and eggs. “Welcome Little Imp, what may you be looking for today” A male voice spoke from the side of me. There was a male with dark skin with black twist with a few purple in his hair. He has an apron with some bones and a hand in it which looks cool “oh I’m just browsing” I replied “let me know if you need assistance little imp” he said. I nodded and began looking around more. While looking around, I spotted a crystal basket. There are tiny crystals of a multitude of colors and sizes. “You know, they say that these magic crystals ward off ghost” a voice spoke next to me. It was the shop worker “ghost?” i replied and he nods “where are my manners? I'm sam. You must be the new Imp that moved to that cures property” Sam introduced “Nice to meet you” I replied “the pleasure is mine. I have to meet the brave soul who bought that land” Sam replied “anyway, the main house is made from these crystals which were embedded in the structure to prevent evil from seeping through” Sam informed “why would anyone put these in the house” I asked “well i amit, that old bird should’ve done that a long time ago. It would save us a lot of newspapers..… but surely you know of the unexplained activity” Sam stated and I just nod “give me one second. Let me give you something” Sam said as he left for the back. After a little while he came back with a journal and a necklace “here take these, on the house” He said “whats the journal for” i asked “You’re going to write down each and every ghost on that property and report back to me. You make sure you wear that necklace everytime you leave the main house or they’ll start to make permanent attachments.” sam suggest “oh and i recommend you wear it outside the property too” sam adds and I put the necklace on “why is that” I asked and he ushered me to come close and her whispered “the only reason why I knew you lived in that place is because there was someone following you the whole time.that someone has been dead for a long time but now he’s standing and watching you from afar”

[tooti-fruiti]

WALTEN FILES THEORY

Some people are trying to decide who or what "Bon" is.

I personally believe "Bon" is a demon.

Demons can't give away their real names because that would give power to the person (or people) who knows their name.

So this demon goes by the name "Bon". (Which would explain the quotation marks)

"Bon" also does some really fucked up things in the name of "beauty".

As he says "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs."

Now some people think "Bon" is Jack Walten's ghost. Which can't be the case, because as of right now, Jack is still alive.

(I know this because of the little scavenger hunt Martin Walls made called Find Jack Walten. And in that scavenger hunt it says something along the lines of "Jack is not dead. He is still alive. Find him.")

And I saw a theory that said "Bon" is the embodiment of Jack's anger and sadness. Which is an interesting theory, but doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

"Bon" isn't an embodiment of rage. If he was, he wouldn't be taking the time to try to comfort Susan into her new life as Banny.

I also think that if he were an embodiment of rage and sadness, he wouldn't be talking about making the people he's killed beautiful."

For the longest time, I thought Bon was Felix. I thought that Felix drove himself crazy because he accidentally killed Edd and Molly, ended up killing himself, possessing Bon, and killing everyone who knows or is affiliated with what he did.

Which would explain the scene in Walten Files 3 where Bon is kind of shaking while flashes of Edd and Molly surround him.

But now that we know Bon is possessed by someone who calls himself "Bon", it makes everything more complicated.

I'm happy we know who's possessing Bon now because we've been wondering that for years.

But that does make the aforementioned scene a little confusing.

Unless this demon is somehow affiliated with the Walten Family, I don't understand why Bon would shake around like that and then hide in his hands at the death of Edd and Molly.

Maybe the original plan was for Felix to be Bon when Walten Files 3 released.

But then as years passed, maybe the story changed just a little bit because that can happen.

And Martin Walls decided to go in a new direction with Bon and who's possessing him.

But then again, maybe not. Because we can see "Bon" possessing Bon in the first episode.

The eyes we see in Bon in The Walten Files 1 are "Bon". (It's also worth mentioning that I don't think "Bon" likes light)

(Another small thing I wanted to add is that in the Walten Files 3, during Susan's death, we see Bon with his hand right in her face. Which is a really cool detail because in the next episode, we see Bon reach for Susan's face to mutilate it [or it could be when Bon goes to snap Susan's neck because we see a similar frame there as well])

(Another thing that has nothing to do with this. The song that plays when Ashley is killed is called "Ashley's happy hour" which implies that it took an entire hour to dismember her and stuff her into Billy. However, in a discord server that Martin Walls made, he said that he thinks during Ashley's death, when she saw Bon, she passed out and woke up 30 minutes later to being torn apart. So she didn't suffer the whole hour which sounds better than being tortured for an hour)

(One more thing, when Sophia plays Spot the difference, there's one picture of Billy plays with a car. In the second picture, there's two red figurines and Billy is holding a black one. Which makes me believe that Felix is the shadow man)

Also I think "Bon" knows who he wants to put each person inside. Susan for example has a long face kind of like Banny. Charles kind of looks like Boozoo. Rosemary has hair like Sha. And Ashley kind of had hair like Billy.

I don't know, I just woke up and my brain is fried.

I'll make another post in a few minutes showing all the secrets I find in each episode

Please let me know what you guys think in the comments

[cybernecromancer365]

A/O Hospital Headcanon--Part 2

Part 1 here

A.N. A little more to add. Another quick write, not edited.

(Nurse walks in on Alex and Olivia hugging. Alex is sitting on the bed with Olivia practically in her arms)

"Doing good detective?" The nurse picked up the chart at the foot of the bed and jotted down hourly vital readings as Alex and Olivia split. "Yeah, thanks." Olivia answered. Nurse looked to Alex. "I just need a signature on some papers. Are you her next of kin?”

Alex and Olivia's eyes widened. They stayed quiet, until Olivia turned to Alex with a smirk. "What's taking you so long to answer?" Alex glanced to her and stumbled. "W-We're...fri-Coworkers. We're coworkers." The nurse looked between them blankly. "Oh, wow...the whole staff thought you were her spouse." A tight smile stretched across Alex's face. She hung her head and put a hand over her eyes to hide the warmth creeping to her cheeks, and Olivia's hand on her thigh didn't help. Reassuring or not, Olivia's squeeze only made her heart thump faster. "Well then, we'll need to talk to whoever she's going home with." The nurse turned to Olivia whose smile weakened as the moment passed. "Is there anyone you want to request detective?" "I'm good." With a scoff Alex stood, taking the clipboard from the nurse to both women's surprise. "Where do I need to sign—" "Alex it's fine—" "Don't listen to her. She's delusional if she thinks she'll be walking out of here on her own in a few days." Alex kept her eyes on the paper, scanning the legal agreements, then signing where the nurse pointed. The nurse looked to the detective. "She is right." "Of course I am." Alex scribbled her signature.  "Due to her obvious lack of judgment…" Olivia scoffed under her breath and looked away. "…I am acting within the scope of the law by making the decision for her." Alex handed back the clipboard and the nurse looked to the frowning detective with a soft smile.

"See you in an hour detective." Olivia didn't acknowledge the nurse as she left but Alex exited the room and caught up to her. "Excuse me." Alex called, stopping the woman in the hall. "Yes." "Do you know exactly when she'll be released?" "We have her on track for the end of next week. Provided her pain is in a manageable state without the morphine. But her wounds will still need to be re-dressed every 4 hours."  Alex nodded. "Thank you." Alex headed back into the room; Olivia's eyes closed as the detective rested with slow easy breaths. "Hey." She tried to rouse her with a soft tone. If Olivia didn't respond she'd try again tomorrow. The detective’s eyes cracked open and Alex slipped her fingers gingerly under Olivia's good hand, loosely entwining a couple of their fingers. Hopefully Olivia wouldn't remember this in the morning. "So...How would you like to come home with me? Not that you have much of a choice." "Asking a little after the fact, huh?" Olivia closed her eyes and barely smiled. "You didn't have to." "I'd rather get you out of here before this place takes away that wonderful sense of humor you seem to have adopted." "Maybe they shocked me too much when they brought me back, rewired some areas of my brain." Alex had to chuckle. "Or...it's constant drip of morphine." "I would’ve been fine Alex." "You were shot 3 times. You're not fine." Alex looked at the morphine drip. It was only a matter of time before Olivia had to deal with the pain. "Having an extra set of eyes on you is a good thing." Olivia chuckled gently at that. "Piercing blue eyes watching my every move, how comforting. "

"Is that your way of complimenting me?" Olivia gruffed. "Compliment accepted, detective." The room quieted as the look on Olivia’s face turned stern. Olivia didn’t walk around with her nose stuck in the air, but she was a proud person, and one who’d now come to terms with her loss of freedom. "It's not easy to take care of me Alex." "I don't plan on it being easy." Alex paused. "You're stubborn, sometimes grouchy--" "I'm grouchy--" "And I can only imagine you're worse when you're in pain." A tired smile stretched across Olivia face as much as she let it. "I'll see you tomorrow." Alex leaned in, placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder, wanting to kiss Olivia on the head but shutting down those thoughts when she realized what she was thinking. "Get some rest."

[mad-maximoff]

𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝟑

Chapter Sum: Addy really wants to look good for university. She decided to go tanning. Lizzie wanted her to cool down and relax with her next door.

Warnings: Language (like usual lol), of age/underage drinking (depending on where you're from), fingering, making out, consent (we love a consensual queen <3)

Word Count: 3,625

Red Love Masterlist

"Kiss me hard before you go...summertime sadness. I just wanted you to know, that baby you the best."

"I got my red dress on tonight..." I laid down on my towel on the grass under the hot August sun. My plan is to tan. I wanted to look hot for university. Like every girl does obviously. I want to look mature. I didn't want to look like some kid that shouldn't be there. However, no one from my high school got accepted into NYU so I get a fresh start.

I was shielding the sun's rays with the book I'm currently reading, 'My Year Of Rest & Relaxation'. My sunglasses weren't doing justice. The tan oil I was using smelt god-awful. It made my skin tingle with every lather I applied. I think perhaps I'm allergic. Time will tell I guess. I sported the new bathing suit I got in the city. It looked like the infamous pink Dior bikini but who could afford that on a university student's cash? I think I bought it wrong, however. The top was too small for my boobs and the bottoms were too big. I wasn't thinking about it much, I was trying to keep my mind on my tan and my book. However, that wasn't what I was thinking about. I was trying to piece together what happened the other day. Did Elizabeth touch me? Maybe I was hallucinating? It was my first high after all. I remember Lizzie hit Hallie for some reason then grabbed me and dragged me home. Everything else was a damn-near blur. I saw her in double vision the entire time. My head felt as though my brain was unhooked and just swam freely around my skull. It was a floating sensation. 

There was a little breeze throughout the backyard. It cooled my tingly skin. The breeze sent goosebumps all up my thighs making them shift around above my towel. The sensation went away as the wind died down. My phone rang out of nowhere, I wasn't expecting any calls. All I wanted to do today was read and get tan, why am I always being bothered? 

"Hello?" I answered sitting up and putting a place in my book. 

"What's up bitch!!! Whatcha doing?" It was Hallie. She sounds very happy, considering what happened 2 days ago. 

"Nothing much really. Just tanning. What's up with you?" I sat hunched over running my finger along the spine of the book just listening to Hallie's voice. 

"About the same. Just got off work. Had an early shift this morning. Are you doing okay? I forgot to call you after that whole fiasco with your crazy milf. Did your mom notice? What did you two do when you went home? Did it involve a certain cherry popping?" She giggled softly trying to not be loud. You could hear she was getting in her truck.  

"Oh my fucking god Hal, nothing like that happened! I think that it is. Mom wasn't home, and Lizzie did feel bad about hitting you. She told me. She just got overprotective that's all." I shifted my body to lay on my right side, putting all the weight on my arm. 

"Overprotective I can tell, but she came for me like a bull out the pin. I thought she liked me. She went nuts!" Her truck engine started and I heard a lighter flick on. 

"You realize why she went nuts. Your scrawny ass couldn't lift me up. She probably thought I needed help and you were doing nothing. But I know you were trying your best. Plus you're more like a bull than her! Haha! Remember when I had to sneak into the bar to come pick you up and you had a biker dude in a headlock just because he stole your seat?"

"No! That wasn't just that! He touched my ass too remember? And when you came in I had him in a headlock then bashed him over the head with a bottle." She laughed.

"Yeah, with the most expensive bottle in the damn bar might I add!" I snorted shaking my head over my best friend's antics. 

"Hey! It was the stupid bartender's fault for putting a 500-dollar bottle out where people can grab it. It wasn't tequila so I was fine breaking it. Do you want me to come over later? We can binge-watch movies again." 

I switched to put her on speaker. Just waiting for her to hang up. I love Hallie dearly but some days I just want to be alone. I don't need her constantly calling and asking to do things. I love hanging out with her in all but damn, doesn't she want to be alone too? She has a boyfriend, why doesn't she hang out with him? 

"Maybe Hal. I'll see how I feel." I huffed adjusting my glasses. 

"Uh-huh. Okay hun, I gotta let you go. Jamie's calling me." 

"Okay Hal, talk to you later." I hung up a little too quickly but I know Hallie won't take it personally. I hope.

                                          ╔═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╗

I proceeded to try and finish off the chapter I was reading. My mind was being distracted, I kept hearing sloshing noises. I turned behind me seeing no one else in the backyard. I sat up looking in the other direction to the fence, Lizzie's house was on the other side. I saw a little shadow that turned out to be moving. It was Lizzie, or so I hoped. I couldn't see her fully. She never had anyone over. 

"Miss Addy? What on earth are you doing sitting in this August sun? It's 104 degrees out." Lizzie hung over the fence resting her chin on the wood. Her hair was dry and wavy. Her glasses covered most of her face with a brown tint. 

"I'm tanning. I don't think it's working honestly." I stood up meeting Lizzie's gaze. I stepped forward walking to where she was. I tried to straighten my back sucking in my stomach. Lizzie's hand reached out to my bikini strap pulling it away from my skin, letting it go to flick my skin. 

"Hm? I think it worked. You have some colour. You're really warm sweetie. You should come and take a break. I have the pool fixed. Why don't you come and relax with me." Her hand rested on my shoulder. Her hand was coldly damp. It soothed me for a little while. "Oh I don't want to burden you, it's the weekend after all. It's your days off." I really wanted to join her, but I didn't want to cramp her style. "Honey, I'd be delighted if you joined me. I'd love company, especially your company." Her thumb grazed my tan skin leaving my body. "Alright, Lizzie. I'll be happy to join you then." I felt a smile creep along. I was ecstatic, this would be the first time we would hang out. I opened the latch on our fence. My mom got it installed last summer, she and the girls would come over sometimes for drinks so she thought it would be easy access. I've never been in Lizzie's house or her backyard. It was neatly lawned, with stone lining the hot tub-sized pool in the middle with a gazebo covering the pool. My jaw almost dropped seeing what Lizzie was wearing, a burnt orange bikini. She looked immaculate. I've never seen Lizzie in anything like this. I've seen her in shorts and stuff like that but nothing like this. Her olive skin was accented with an orange colour. She was hot. 

"Would you like a drink, Miss Ad?" She flung open the screen door stepping into what looked like her living room. Her glasses came off resting on her head, her eyes looked tired. But her smile made you think otherwise. "I'll drink whatever you are Lizzie." I beamed back twisting a ring on my index finger. "Haha! You can't tell you are underage or anything. Don't say you want whatever I'm having. You'll for sure get ID-ed at the bar. Now, how about we try this again? What would you like?" Her arm leaned into the door. Her hips tilted showing off her soft hips. "Champagne if you have it. If not then a screwdriver." I awkwardly laughed off her comment still twisting the ring on my finger. 

"Champagne it is honey. Now, was that so hard? Go on, go sit in the pool. I'll be there shortly." She left from my sight. Like a good little pup, I darted over to the pool dipping my feet into the pool. It was then that I realized I was tan, the white underbelly of the pool showed my light brown skin. It was cold at first, but it felt nice actually. I sat on the edge of the pool letting the water hit my kneecaps awaiting Lizzie's return. 

"I thought it would be easier for us just to have the bottle." Lizzie returned with a bottle of champagne and two wine glasses. "Is that Dom Perignon?!" I was surprised to see her bring out such a fancy bottle. "For someone that isn't 21, you sure know your champagnes. What? Don't like it?" She joked planting down next to me feeling the soft hairs on her thighs graze mine. "No, no I've never drank it. I've just seen it on tv shows and movies. You shouldn't open a nice bottle just for me." Lizzie nudged me cracking the seal and popping off the cork. "Don't say that! A pretty girl deserves the prettiest bottle. Plus if it's your first time drinking champagne, I'd like it to be something nice and not shit bottles you'll drink in university dorms." She poured the glasses full handing me my glass. Her nails were neatly painted in a milk bath look. Her nails were trimmed short with a little white left over. As for my nails were sloppily painted in black with cracks where I'd chewed off. I'm trying to quit this nasty habit I've done for years. 

I took in a hefty sip almost finishing off the glass. I heard Lizzie's laughter seeing her glass fog up from her breath. "It's not a shot, did you even taste it?" She nudged me again this time she sunk deeper into the pool. "Come on Addy-baby, come in." Her hand landed on my thigh rubbing inwards. I jimmied myself lower feeling a little ashamed that I chugged my glass. "I'm sorry, a force of habit. I go to small parties. They don't serve actual drinks, just shots." Lizzie's hand grasped mine pulling my glass closer to her chest and pouring another glass. "Well then let's teach you how to drink an actual drink." Her glasses fell off her head landing on the bridge of her nose. It startled both of us, but it let out giggles of Lizzie and me. "Cheers Miss Addy, to our lovely blossoming relationship." Our glasses clinked together staring into each other tentatively. "Cheers," I smirked feeling her thighs shift against mine under the water. 

"How are you feeling since the last time I saw you? You were in pretty bad shape." Lizzie's lips pursed on the tip of the glass, sipping slowly. Which made me feel 10 times worse about my first drink. I mimicked her action sipping slowly; she was right. I didn't even taste it. It tasted like what I imagined. Sweet and full of bubbles. Like what gold would taste like. Fancy.

"I was okay, you were right. I just needed some water and crawled into bed." I turned my back placing the wine glass behind my back on the ledge. "See! Told you, take my advice baby. You were a total mess. You're friend didn't do anything but stand and watch." She huffed spinning the liquid in a circular motion. "Hallie was trying her best before you came. I'm heavier than her, she couldn't possibly lift me without help." My hands dipped into the water letting the rest of my body sink into my shoulders. Lizzie's body turned completely pressing a button on the pool, there laid little jets at our feet. It was becoming a very relaxing afternoon after all. "Yeah sure, if she had any weight on her head she would know not to let you hit the ground. You're not heavy Addy, you're very sexy." Lizzie's thigh crossed on mine laying it gently. I felt her, I felt her crotch through her bikini bottoms. Oh god, stop it! Stop thinking about that!  

I blushed again simply brushing her compliment off. "Come now Lizzie, I could lose a few pounds around my stomach. It's sad when I look down and my belly is bigger than my tits. I wish there was a way to transfer my fat to my boobs. Hahaha!" I joked sitting up straight looking down through the water. Lizzie's whole body moved onto mine. Her arm draped around my shoulders as her other hand laid directly on my belly. "Shut up now, I love your cute tummy. You're healthy, and your chest is perfect." Her hand fondled my stomach, her thumb rubbed above my navel where the top of my belly ring was. Her touch was faint under the water. I knew she was touching me, but it didn't feel like it. 

"You're probably the only one who thinks that Lizzie, so thank you for trying to make me feel better." Her body shifted once again now floating in front of me. Her hips were at my kneecaps, I parted my legs allowing her to come closer to me. Her face was half an inch away from mine. She took off her sunglasses throwing them to a ledge. "I'm the only one you should care about Addy." She bit her lip before her lips met mine without warning. It was blissfully maddening. She was rough. I couldn't possibly take control of her. God I wish I could have the courage too but I melted at the feeling of her holding me down. Her mouth was so dominating. She was rough on my lips but, her tongue was soft with every touch of mine. God, she was magical. It was everything I dreamt she would be. There it is again. That familiar touch I once felt while I was high. I knew I wasn't imagining it. She did it again. Her hand that once rested on my stomach climbed its way to my breast again. Squeezing it in its full form. Someone who finally made me feel beautiful, made my body feel beautiful. We took a breath out together, you could make out a tiny sigh Lizzie let out before she reattached her lips to mine. My throat let out a small moan, buzzing through my vocal cords. Lizzie didn't think I notice she slipped her balm under my bikini top grasping my breast bare. Fuck! Fuck! She's touching me! Me!! Oh god, stay cool! I didn't stay cool, however. I almost jumped out of my skin. I leaped back breaking our kiss momentarily. Lizzie had a confused expression plastered across her face. "Hmm? What's the matter? Are you okay?" Her grip around my breast loosened still not leaving its spot. My look must've startled her, I didn't know what I was showing. "I-I'm sorry Lizzie. You just caught me off guard. I didn't know what you were doing." Lizzie gave a tiny pout still biting down on her bottom lip. "Oh I'm sorry honey, would you like me to continue? I should've asked. I got a little out of hand." My brain shut off. It felt as though I was in a dream at this moment. My body reacted in some way I never knew I'd do. My hand pressed against Lizzie's as it was still under my bikini. "P-please. I'd like you to continue." I haven't stuttered in years like I was. I had speech therapy when I was small to better my speech. Sometimes it will slip here and there. "Good. Good girl..." With that, she leaned in. This time, I leaned with her. She tasted sweet, not sweet like the champagne. Tasted like vanilla and mint. Smelt strong like wood and floral. She was everything and more. Her other hand crept around my thigh, that part I felt vividly. Even under the water. It was heightened by 100. 

I felt so bare underneath Elizabeth, her warm complexion looked like she was wearing sunscreen with tiny gold flakes. Her brows were brushed and filled in, with light mascara. Nothing clumped on her like it would happen to me, I'd hide it with false lashes.        

 God, she's beautiful. She was warm and inviting, she made me feel very comfortable around her. 

"You're so beautiful Liz-..." I parted my lips against hers feeling her bottom lip graze mine. Her hand forcefully squished my breast warming my stiff nipple. Moving my nipple ring in circles. It frightened me; I have never had anyone touch me in that way. Yes, I was pierced so someone did touch me, but not in a sexual way. Not in the way Lizzie was. "Shhh..you're even more lovely Addy. You want me to touch you more?" Her body switched positions. Sitting directly on my lap leaving space between our bikini bottoms. I nodded pushing my head back to her lips. Her forehead met mine stopping me. "Use. Your. Words. Yes or no?" Her voice was stern and hot next to my ear. I nodded again breathing in shallowly. "Yes please..." My hands lay on her narrow shoulders caressing her collar bone. Lizzie unstuck her forehead to mine continued to press her lips onto mine dipping her tongue into my mouth again. She invaded my personal space, it wasn't like I didn't mind it. Lizzie can invade my space anytime. She was invading other places too, her hand was still laid on my thigh creeping up onto the flab where the string to my bottoms was. Her hand traced down the lining of my bottoms until she reached the middle below my belly button ring. Her nails dug into the cloth pushing down. 

Oh my god...I've always dreamt of this! God...Fuck!

I felt as though I jumped again, but in reality, my hips just bucked. She giggled unclenching her other hand from my boob pushing on my shoulder. "It's your first time, isn't it? I can tell. Your face is so red..and you're soaked-..fuck Addy..." Her middle finger dove deeper inside awaiting a reaction as she pulled out. My hands left her shoulders clutching her slim waist. She wasn't fat, her body was perfect. She was like the goddesses I'd read about in Greek books, and she was touching me. Just me. No one else around. Her thumb grazed my clit, pushing her middle finger back into my pussy. Lizzie laughed seeing my reaction. I tried to look away from Lizzie's face. Her forehead stuck to mine making my head lift. "Be a good girl Addy. I'll make you cum if you're good for me. Hm? Will you be a good girl for mommy?" I would have came right there. Mommy? Did she really say that? I never thought Lizzie was into that. I couldn't think much of it after her hand increased her speed into me. "Y-y-yes!" The warmth of the hot tub and Lizzie's breath hit me like I was going to suffocate. 

"Yes, what?" Her finger slowly slipped out of my folds too easily. My hips bucked, I was begging at this point. I didn't know what to say, does she want me to say it? I guess so. Maybe? "Yes, mommy..." Her lip curled to one side catching her teeth on her bottom lip. "Good. Good girl." Her fingers dove in deeper than before, I could feel myself clench around her middle finger. 

"Oh god...I'm gonna-oh!" Lizzie's other hand pressed my shoulder against the wall of the hot tub. It stung for a moment but I didn't mind for a second. "I know darling. I know. I feel it too." She pumped in and out of my pussy. I have never touched myself in such a way, I dreamt of her touching me. Just never thought it would escalate this quickly. "Oh, Addy. You look beautiful like this. Melting in the palm of my hand ready to cum. Go on then. Cum for mommy." 

There it was. 

I have came before, but not by another person. It felt a million times better when it was someone else doing it. To tell you the truth, I felt somewhat dirty. Like we've done something wrong. I'm over 18 and so is she. I liked her and I hoped she liked me as well. So why did I feel this way? Her hand left from underneath my bottoms leaving it empty. She was happy. So was I trying to catch my breath. 

"God you look so cute. You want more champagne?" 

"No. I'm...I'm...I think I hear my mom." I caught my breath lifting myself out of the water. Lizzie looked startled. "I didn't hear anything Ad." 

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen. I can see her in the window. I have to go. Um...thanks for the...drinks. See you later." I hopped out onto the cold grass. The grass wasn't cold, I was just in hot water. I felt like I was running, probably because I was. I slammed the fence door running into the back door. 

What the hell was I thinking? How could I? What if my mom saw us? Oh god! No! That was wrong on so many levels. I can't do it again! 

Lizzie was right. I did get some colour.

[theflikchic]

English Major Rereads Harry Potter to See If It's "Actually Bad and I Just Have Nostalgia" As The Internet Says Pt 1: Chamber and Filch You Good?

What is going on with the frog brains.

Okay before I explode into thoughts: we GOTTA talk about the humour (I promise it's related). Because it is genuinely well-played. Some of the chapter endings are a little choppy and standard-kids book-like. But when Ron says that a teacher "would have to be really thick" and then the next chapter starts with Lockhart? Freaking hilarious. (Ron's wit is so much more hardcore than I remember. Guy takes NO prisoners and is the ACTUAL smart one, hot take).

But much of the humour is derived from nonsense. Not a bad thing, just how it is. Basically, the narrator will describe the world during jumps in time: what the characters have been up to and the locations the characters are in as well, as what non-main characters have been doing in order to give Hogwarts a more homey feel. Not always necessary but it works. And sometimes it comes back for the plot. Ex. Fred and George blowing up the salamander introduces the firecracker for Harry to use in Potions.

BUT this type of description hits- my goodness- it hits DIFFERENT as an adult because the humour which is literally just "weird description of something, move on" is just whack nonsense and leaves me with so many freaking questions. Like, "ha ha the ghosts are playing Head Hockey". As a kid, you're like "haha the ghosts are playing Head Hocket" and now I'm like "THE GHOSTS ARE PLAYING HEAD HOCKEY?? ELABORATE???" It's funny, it works, but DAMN is it weird.

And right now, I'm hung up on: Why tf is Filch cleaning up frog brains in the dungeon with the fking FLU?

Like, as a child, I just accepted this moment. That Filch is both sick and upset because a bunch of third years splattered frog brains on the dungeon ceiling and that is what is important to the plot. It's just Hogwarts being funny and quirky! The end! But NOW I'm like- like- I have SO SO many questions.

1) What the actual hell were those third years DOING? I'm assuming making potions since it was in the dungeon. So-

2) Why tf is SNAPE not doing anything about it? Man LIVES down there and doesn't he teach Potions to, like, literally EVERYONE? The book describes how there's a bunch of staff and students with colds (to set up how Ginny is looking "peaky" from being possessed, nice little foreshadowing), is he sick too?! But wouldn't he have Pepperup Potion? Why is SNAPE not fixing this?!

3) Was it a prank? Were these dumb kids just "guys being dudes" or something and blew up a bunch of frogs? Again, if so, how tf is Snape not on their cases? They're IN THE DUNGEONS.

4) Okay, new angle. Maybe they AREN'T in class and just studying downstairs. Explains how Nick and Filch knew they were third-years. I still need to know: Where is Snape.

5) So Snape is unavailable (current situation) or just not wanting to clean up (doesn't seem much like him, usually he'd make the students do it or just magic it away) and there's only Filch- who has the fucking FLU?! Where is HIS Pepperup Potion?! What happens if the man HURLS? You gonna make him clean that up too?!

This leads me to the next big question. Aside from how Filch's office apparently smells like fried fucking fish (i'm SORRY?! HOW WHY), I'm really starting to wonder...wtf is going on with Filch at ALL?

Narratively for the second book, he's important. He introduces the concept of squibs (a very complex and...strange thing that I shan't get into here), introduces Harry's really powerful ability to have empathy, adds another antagonistic adult party to the staff, and works as a background character to flesh out the environment. But STILL.

Why is this guy with no magic cleaning up magic nonsense?! Why was he hired at all?? What dirt does Dumbledore have on him? Is it just cuz Dumbledore feels bad for him? Oh, you feel bad, Dumbledore? Where's the man's Pepperup Potion?!

I don't think Filch's past being neglected is really a flaw. I think it works well with his character being this gross, mysterious, pathetic (in both sense of the word) man who is every kid's worst fear without the moral complexity (like Snape). As of right now in Chamber, he's an idea (Joker voice) while still being a character. I don't think that's bad, it is a very standard idea for kids books, especially British ones like Roald Dahl. Filch is effective as an idea.

I just didn't realize I'd be thinking so seriously of him as an adult. And that Harry Potter is...like...kind of absurdist fantasy?! Huh?!

[privarot]

Can you do the Yylfordt and the other fraccions reacting to kissing them the first time please like how you did with the others🙏🏼

a/n: yes!! absolutely!! i love those boys so much im so glad that someone wants content of them ^^ sorry this took a while. my brain has been pretty fried.

arrancars reacting to you kissing them for the first time: part two

listed: yylfordt granz, shawlong koufang, edrad liones and nakeem grindina

Yylfordt Granz

this man exudes cockiness and confidence.

however, after that first initial peck, yyl turns a tad pink and his eyes widen.

he’ll deny it until the end of time in favor of teasing you.

“what was that?”

he thinks watching you obviously fluster due to it is very funny, so therefore, naturally, he is going to make it a million times worse.

he wouldn’t want us to mention how after that first time, once he’s alone of course, he brushes his fingers across his lips, the memory of your own against them ever fresh in his mind.

once he gets the hang of it, he’ll use them to his upmost advantage.

he likes to corner you when he can (whether figuratively or literally), cooing teases and trailing his hands across you. maybe some lip brushes here and there. he waits until your face flushes to actually kiss you; relishing in your flustered sounds and expression.

it’s not his fault that you react so cutely. well, it technically is, isn’t it? and that’s exactly why he loves it so much.

if you lean in for another kiss after he pulls away, be prepared for that mockingly sympathetic voice of his while he picks at you.

"aww. do you want another one that bad?"

he caves very fast, though, so don't worry about having to endure his teases for too long.

Shawlong Koufang

he will not understand until you explain it to him.

like a few of the others, his first thought is that you want to eat him.

it takes him quite a while to warm up to even the idea of kissing, but you'll break through that shell of his eventually.

he may not be teasing or as blatantly affectionate as some of the others, but he will find it endearing that you're so keen on showing him how you feel in a physical manner.

in the back of his mind he thinks it is quite cute but he won't say that aloud.

he's not quite one to ask for a kiss, but you may catch his eyes straying towards your lips from time to time. or maybe he subtly leans closer to your body when the two of you are alone.

when you actually go in for kisses later on, you swear you can see the corners of his lips almost want to twitch into a tiny smile before they go back to that deadpan expression.

in short, shower this man in kisses. he's not too in touch with his emotions but he will appreciate them immensely. he deserves those smooches.

Edrad Liones

i like to think that edrad can be a bit of a romantic when he wants to be. sure, emotions like this aren't really something that hollows are used to feeling, but i think that is part of why he likes it so much.

he enjoys being physically affectionate with you in any way.

he also likes the size difference that the two of you have. he thinks it is very endearing how small you seem next to him. no matter your size, edrad has a large build.

the kiss itself does fluster him a bit.

it's definitely not what he was expecting when you started to lean in close to him all of the sudden.

he's pretty curious about what that means to you, and when you explain it, he's even more touched by your affections. maybe you see his cheeks turn just a tad pink.

unlike shawlong, he will (very politely, might i add) ask for kisses here and there.

he especially likes when you kiss around his hands; taking time to admire them as you go. sometimes he worries that they're too rough for you, hardened by battle and wielding his zanpakuto, but once you assure him that they're perfect, he's sure to hold you with them much more often.

Nakeem Grindina

nakeem is very, very quiet.

very much a man of few words.

however, that kiss renders him more speechless than he had ever been previously.

he stares at you for a few moments, blinking rapidly while he processes the fact that you had just had your lips on his, his cheeks gradually developing a pink tint.

maybe his silence worries you despite him almost always being that way, so you hurry to explain what it all means.

his hand comes up to brush across his lips. his face flushes a bit darker with every passing second. just when you think that maybe this was too much; way too brash of a decision, he speaks up.

"...that was nice."

he's not a vocal asker, clearly, but the both of you will learn the subtle signs he uses to request kisses here and there.

it takes him a while to fully learn how to kiss you back, but rest assured that he will figure it out! he is a very attentive lover.

he isn't much of a fan of pda.

he will absolutely adore all of that attention once you are away from everyone, though!

[a-lonely-dunedain]

23 with Margim and Celeair?

ok sorry my brain was fried for the last few days BUT i finally was able to Do Something with this one!

this is the "Fun" Celeair Goes to Isengard AU, where Margim has to go undercover in her old Mordor armor to try to rescue him. still not 100% sure where I want to go with this one, but Lothrandir is involved and we might get to see him and Margim being friends at some point maybe if I ever write anything else here.

“Did they hurt you?” My question was redundant, the answer is clear enough just from the sight of him. None of his wounds seemed grievous, but the sight of blood and bruises on him told me he had been beaten cruelly before I found him. There is fury welling up in my heart at the thought.

Celeair does not know how to fight, he is a staunch pacifist and I know he would not so much as raise a hand against anyone –even men and uruks as evil as these– so any injury he received from them would have been nothing but cruelty for cruelty’s sake. This place is much too akin to Mordor.

“A bit… I do not think anything is broken, at least.” I suppose that is technically good news, though it is of little comfort to me. “I did not fight back, so they had little reason to hurt me… though, evidently, they did not need much reason.” he adds quietly, looking down at the bruises on his arm. I quickly glance around to make sure we are still alone. The guards have not returned yet. I produce a small bundle of food that I had managed to smuggle out of the guard house, and quickly pass it through the bars to Celeair.

“I cannot stay long,” I whisper, “it’s too risky to be seen speaking to you. But I will find a way to get you out of here, I swear it.” This is not the first time I have made such an oath to him, but I pray it will be the last. Celeair simply nods at me, no trace of doubt in his eyes. I wish the same could be said of mine.

“I suppose we’re lucky you still held onto that armor, I did not think you would have any further use for it.” he observes, ever the optimist.

“We would be luckier still if I never had a reason to don it again…” I mutter solemnly. Just then I hear heavy footsteps coming from further down in the cells, one of the uruk guards is heading this way. “Someone is coming,” I whisper quickly, reaching into the cell and holding his hand for the briefest moment, “I must leave for now, but I will be back as soon as I can.” I feel a light squeeze on my hand from him before I let go. 

I walk away, swiftly as I can without seeming suspicious, fighting the urge to look back at Celeair. 

As I exit the dungeons, head down and hood drawn, I consider my next move.

I heard some other prisoners escaped only a few days ago. That is both good news and bad news at the same time. Good news, for it proves that escape is possible, and that the eyes of the Wizard do not even see the entirety of his domain. But bad news, as it means whatever gap in the ring’s defenses they exploited has surely been filled by now and I will have to make my own. The task will only be made more difficult by the heightened security following the escape, but I do not have time to wait for it to die down. Or more importantly, Celeair does not have time. 

He will not last long here, and I have no doubt that the wardens intend to work him to death. 

I might need to throw around my weight as ‘Emissary of Mordor’ a little to see if I can get him a lighter workload. It would be a risky move, as I must avoid drawing too much attention to myself or else someone might start asking questions and realize I'm not a real emissary at all, but I need to buy us a little more time. There are few here who would be bold enough to question the authority of a Black-Númenorean –how I detest using that title– but even one person discovering the ruse would spell doom for both of us.

This whole situation is all too familiar in all the worst ways.

[tenrose]

As I’ve finally gained back my ability to read, and couldn’t be more happy, I would like to share some tips with you. I don’t think I’m the only, once upon a time big reader, who ended up brain fried, completely unable to read over the last years. Of course this is how I managed to get back to reading and there is no guarantee that this will work for you but it can always be helpful, I hope.

So here we go. 

First: most obvious one but probably also the hardest one too. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to read. Don’t start focusing on “I’m reading a book, I have to”, “I’m reading x pages” etc. Maybe it’s just me but everytime I do this kind of thing, it’s stressing me even more and since reading is not a duty I have to accomplish like work or something that’s due.. well I end up shutting off completely like I always do for everything. Don’t view it as an obligation.

Instead, just pick a book, put it here close to your favorite place, on your nightstand, somewhere you can easily grab it the moment you are ready, without extra effort (because obviously if you are like me, and you have to get up from bed to grab a book, well it’s not gonna work isn’t it?)

This one is very personal and maybe you are gonna need the opposite, but I have to absolutely forget about coming back to reading with a book I’m familiar with, a story I love. Let me explain, when I was not able to read, my first thought was “Oh well, the next Stormlight Archive book is out, I LOVE these series, this surely is gonna help me read again”. EXCEPT it didn’t and it actually had the opposite effect. I struggled a few chapters, trying to go in the state I’m usually in reading my favourite stories, trying harder than for any other book I would have given up with no second thought, but at some point I had to give up because it was just too hard, I wasn’t in the story the way I’m usually in, the images weren’t there (sidenote: probably did not help that Kaladin is like this™ but it’s not the topic). And I don’t know if it already happened to you, but not being able to be deeply invested into something you’re usually in with your entire soul, it was more painful than not being to read any other random book I tried to read. It was like a self betrayal. And actually before this I managed to read like two books a year, but after this it dropped to zero. I was really feeling very bad about it, felt like shit, because reading is my thing. Fantasy is my thing, seeing the worlds and living it is my thing. And I didn’t want to hear about books anymore, also stopped going the bookstore (which tbh my wallet did not complain about). So my advice is to not go with your favourite story first. To this day I still haven’t caught up on TSA, I feel like I’m almost ready but I’m not sure so I’m waiting.

So instead, I’d recommend to pick something you’re not familiar with but easy to read. I’m a SFF reader, but this kind of literature is too demanding when you’ve lost your ability to dive into a story. The worldbuilding and stuff require your imagination to be active and if I’m being honest with my inability to read, it’s my imagination that was gone. Instead I chose thrillers, because they are usually page turners, the mystery is what you need to give you the urge to keep reading. Generally, pick easy books to read first, at first you’re gonna struggle to keep your brain focused so let’s not add too complicated things from the very beginning (it’s gonna come back later don’t worry). Also try to pick short books, short stories, digest paragraphs (I’m personnally against the “uh if a paragraph is too big I can’t read that” but I gotta admit that when you’ve lost your reading skills this is not what you want first). A friend of mine even recommended to pick children books. The point is to not be too harsh on your brain when you have lost your attention span. It need to be short, concise and simple.

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room, the phone. Because I know it’s the shit that kept me from reading, even though the start of the decline was for other personal reasons, social media is a big part of the problem. I’m not blaming anyone and I won’t be that bitch who’s like “just get off instagram” because I know it’s not that easy, I know it’s an addiction. I’m still spending way too much time on my phone, and some of this time I should be reading but I’m not. And that’s ok. The more I blamed myself for scrolling through dumb shit instead of reading, the more I kept scrolling to drown this guilt. So I gave up trying to abandon social medias and picking a book instead, the “I’m reading instead of watching dumb stuff” never worked for me). I had to outsmart myself and basically trick myself and use my own flaws against myself. So what did I do? Well I sat myself on a chair, with my phone not fully charged, with no socket close enough to plug my phone without having to get up and put the book close to me. So when my phone battery started to be low, I put down the phone and picked the book instead. Yes this is peak laziness but it worked so who’s a smartass now? So yeah, if you are lazy, just sit yourself somewhere, put your phone somewhere else, literally in the same room but not close enough to reach with having to move your ass. And eventually it works! Tbh I’m kinda baffled to have outsmarted myself like this, not sure if I should be proud of it lmao.

Last but certainly not least, you have to accept that you are not gonna read like you used to. Especially if you are a full grown adult, with a job, kids, adult stuff to do etc. The fact is, we had so much more time reading as teenagers, young adults (you know when we were supposed to study???), that we have now. We are tired, and chances are that when you’re starting to read you’re gonna end up sleeping and that’s totally fine. We don’t have the time we used to have (btw fuck capitalism), our brains have been rotted (or maybe just mine?), everyday we have this insidious propaganda that everything we do should be profitable but it’s not. Reading is by definition profitable to your brain but you do not see it like this way when you are reading. You are reading as a hobby, and as for all hobbies, it has benefits for you. And you alone. It’s the only thing that matters. Also, you are not trying to find your old self. This is hard to accept, but it is gone. You are someone with difficulties, someone who needs time and patience. The point of reading is not how many books you are reading a year, a month, this is not a challenge. You read because you love reading. You read because you love words. You read because you love to have the words turns into images in your mind, and these images are better than any movie you’ve watched. You read because you love to educate yourself, or because you love the escapism. Or a bit of all of this. My point is, you are reading for yourself, at your time, this is not a competition with anybody, not even yourself. Maybe you can read a bit every night, maybe only on the weekends, it doesn’t matter. Once you know you can read, and appreciate it, you know this part of yourself is saved.

And that’s all, I genuinely hope it can help even one person, because I know how having a passion for reading and losing it is painful and if I can help even only one person to find joy again I’d be very about it.

Also sorry about mistakes, the train between my thoughts and the translated words I wrote here was hard.

[leychin]

Im... your biggest fan!

you're actually their favorite character in a light novel! What kind of merch do they have of you and how do they react when you're isekai'd into their world?

contains: Arataki Itto, Scaramouche, Gorou, Al Haitham, Kaedehara Kazuha

SORRY fem pronouns for kaz one, some profanity in most of them idk what to add warninfs so figure it out ig. Inspired by the Al Haitham plush i bought in a moment of weakness

𝑨𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒊 𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

-He's a diehard SIMP.

-he will defend your character with his life, he gets into fights with all of the other kids over you, anyone in his gang who dares to utter anything against you is immediately punished in the worst way possible.

-Bro is wearing hairpins, putting up posters praising you and your greatness

-even painting his horns to your signature colors

-he spends more time in a cell than out, but Granny keeps all of his small merchandise for him, figurines, tshirts that hes too large to fit, you name it.

-at the great sing-along, he'll have a cutout of you right next to the great Ms. Hina

-Hey, this cutout is so lifelike- wait, Y/N?!?!?!

You feel cold sand when you start to wake up, crackling of a fire and the ocean waves for some reason. Your genshin file said unable to open and you assumed the worst, after one more login attempt everything when black, and now you're here.

Itto is the first to run up to you to see if its real, if he hasn't had too much sake and you're standing there in the flesh. The first thing he notices about you is the choker you wear, identical to his, and the hoodie you wear that replicates his own oni markings

You both scream in terror and joy

Itto can't be bothered to worry about all of this though, because right now hes picking you up and bringing you along to the festival with the rest of his gamg and telling you stories about them and end off the night with the tale of the crimson oni.

MORE HERE !

𝑺𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒆

-No one talks to him about you anymore.

-He will DIE on the hill that you did nothing wrong ESPECIALLY if you were a villain or just a bad person

-"They aint mean it tbh" and "They said sorry sooo" like every single eren defender rn

-He projects HARD and he will cut people off if he finds out that someone misinterpreted your character

-Hes a little shy abt buying merch but he knows all of your lore and finds himself info-dumping if anyone brings you up even if he doesn't want to

-"well ackshually, they said that they wouldn't eat that so youre a fake fan. Wym im wrong it licherally says that on page 67 book 2.5 spinoff did we even read the same book?" -🤓

-"Wow, ive never met a fan who knows as much as I do- oh my archons no fucking way."

Maybe you were a little evil for challenging Scaramouche- or the Wanderer, as you got him, to a test of knowledge about your series but how could you resist? You blew your last paycheck on pulling for him and on the last ten pull you blacked our and woke up in sumeru. So in a way it worked?

Scaramouche's brain is fried and the person he's been defending since the day he finished book one is standing right in front of him!

Did someone just breathe near you?? "FILTHY VERMI-"

You don't even stop him, you paid good money for this so a little destruction never hurt anyone.

Except it did because as Scaramouche tried to take you around the city so you could see it with your own eyes, people kept bumping into you with t being a crowded street and all so he punched all of them.

Nahida scolded him about the fragility of human life after that.

𝑮𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖

-this poor boy.

-he is SO SHY abt enjoying your series to the degree he does

-he is a GENERAL! how would his soldiers react to him having such a... childish hobby? Its bad enough hes hiding his secret column at rhw Yae Publishing House from them, but this is a different level of shame.

-Like genuinely only reads it at night when hes the last one on patrol, goes to a secret spot on watatsumi where he has a secret someone Kokomi drop the latest volume off for him when he's too busy to get it himself (such a kind and generous soul!)

-But on his rare off-days, he can be seen at the Yae Publishing House himself makingg skittish conversation with Yae Miko while he waits for the nice lady at the counter to give him his nice and fresh copy of your series

-So when he sees the Guji Yae speaking to someone he's never even seen around the publishing house before, his ears twitch and his interest is peaked.

"...So you don't know how you've gotten here, or how to get back. Rather peculiar isn't it?" He hears the kitsune whisper in an intrigued tone, which is never good.

He heard her say that the person she was speaking to is lost, maybe he could be of some assistance! Anything is better than having to be in the presence of that... witch!

Gorou will muster all of his courage to approach this conversation with formality without tucking his tail between his legs and retreating, so he taps your shoulder and says "I couldn't help but overhearing you were lost? I'm General Go-"

You've cut him off before he can even finish "Gorou! No way! God- Oh, you all say Archons, sorry! Im Y/n-"

and Gorou freezes because Archons you're gorgeous and he can feel his tail wagging and he doesn't even care because he imagined you pretty but never this pretty.

Miko, who saw this event unfold and had a hand in making it happen smiled in an almost knowing way, gently pushed you towards the general who was practically drooling "Im sure General Gorou doesn't mind giving you a tour and somewhere to stay for your time here. Now run along, youre going to run customers away if you keep standing here."

𝑨𝒍 𝑯𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒎

-you could not WATERBOARD it out of him.

-threaten his career, his comfortable living style, force feed him canned knowledge and he still will not budge.

-Its not even that hes ashamed of it, he gives no fucks abt what people think of him and his interests.

-its that youre from a rather popular series across sumeru, and if people knew he liked it then they would try and talk to him about it.

-So its his little secret, the only person who knows is Kaveh and that's because he walked into the scribe's room without knocking once and got a good view of the little plushie he keeps of you on his otherwise empty bed.

-Now if Kaveh tells a soul he's threatened with homelessness.

-Kaveh doesn't care one way or the other, personally he sees your series as another fad that will die out and mindless dribble (he read 2 pages)

-but does he get kicked out if the person he tells about Haitham's little secret is... well... you?

Al Haitham is slow to enter his shared home with Kaveh, keys feeling heavy in his hands as he recalls the dozens of voices and mindless conversation he was forced to sit through today.

All he wanted was to sit down in his living room and curl up with a book, but of course his insufferable roomate picks today of all days to have a guest over.

Al Haitham settles to just turn in early to his room but he picks up on a bit of Kaveh's conversation

"-and the plushie! How could i forget that 'The Feeble Scholar Al Haitham' has the cutest little plushie on his bed in pristine condition! Why, you would think-"

"Think what exactly, Kaveh?"

Alhaitham decides to make himself known, because if there is one think Kaveh will do its run his mouth until the end of time.

He's about to tell him to pack his bags, but he looks to the person he was speaking to in the first place. It feels unreal but after meeting the traveler, maybe other people really can come from other worlds.

That is somehow the only logical explanation to how you're sitting on his couch, sipping a coffee that Kaveh seems to have provided you with a plushie sitting next to you that looks like him.

"You should be thanking me, you know. I found them on the street asking people if they know who that-" he gestures to your own plushie of him "-was. Thankfully, as i am ever generous and kind i extended an offer to our home. If it were you then im sure you would've walked right past them!"

Al Haitham's head is still spinning, and he feels like hes going to pass out; from todays prior events and right now "I'll deal with this later. Prepare the spare room for them. After the day i had you don't want me to deal with this now."

You perk up at that "Youre tense right? I read something about how you're easily stressed when you have to be around more people than you find necessary, if you don't mind i could give you a massage?"

Kaveh gags but after looking at Al Haithams face growing redder by the second, he laughs.

...then immediately gags again and turns to leave as he sees Al Haitham situating himself next to you.

𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝑲𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒉𝒂

-Youre a seamans tale that sailors tell their children when theyre scared of storms

-"And she tells the Almighty Shogun that she will not have anymore of her nonsense! Which is all the thunder because shes fighting the electro archon and making all the lightning go away."

-Kazuha also tells the kids aboard the ship the story of the one brave enough to challenge the electro archon herself.

-perhaps he fell in love with you because you are what he wished he could be

-the children also catch him describing you in the most dreamy way and giggle because the samurai is in love with the mighty sky warrior

-There's a strange smell in the air, what's that sound? Thunder? no... wait what-

During a particularly bad storm, that has everyone on the Alcor bracing for wave after wave, Kazuha doesn't leave his crows nest, hoping for even the slightest hint of land to steer everyone towards.

But instead of smelling land, he smelled something completely new, almost out of this world. He looks below him for anything, but theres a new sound coming from above him that no one else seems to hear, perhaps because of the storm?

When the sound gradually got closer, he realized that was the sound of someone yelling, and approaching at a rapid rate- oh my archons a girl is falling out of the sky-!

Kazuha doesn't think, and he leaps out of his crows nest to catch you and slow down the fall with anemo. When he lands, hes holding you close to his chest and youre so disoriented you dont even realize you can get down "Oh! Im not dead! Where is the shogun i swear i just beat that fight in the plane of- where the hell am i why am i wet?? why is kazuha holding me?"

"You know my name?"

"Of course i do! You didn't come home and i lost 50/50 to keqing AGAIN- wait where am i-"

"You said you were fighting the shogun?"

"...Yes? I needed to get the primogems to pull for your rerun so i was completing story quests."

"I don't know what you're saying, but if you're really who i think you are, then i will brave this storm so you may grace my ears with your story. If you would allow me, i would also like to be part of yours."

"did kazuha himself just give me some of that poetic rizz?"

"I haven't known you for very long y/n, but you say some of the silliest things."

[somebodycall911onabc]

Spoon me, you idiot

Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.

Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.

Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.

Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.

Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.

With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”

Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.

“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”

Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.

Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.

It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.

When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.

“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.

“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.

She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”

Buck can only nod.

She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—

“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.

“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”

Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.

Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.

Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.

In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.

Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.

He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.

Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?

Buck very slowly puts the phone down.

He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.

His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?

Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—

it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.

It’s a loud silence. Deafening.

Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.

Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.

Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.

Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.

Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—

No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!

Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.

He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.

When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”

Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.

“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”

“Was wondering where you were.”

“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”

“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”

“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Buck shrugs.

“Answer, please.”

God, what a dad.

(Not that Buck would know.)

“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”

“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”

“Well, we’re inside.”

“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”

“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.

“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.

“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”

Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.

“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”

“But I—“

“Come to bed, Buck.”

And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.

Buck’s throat is very, very dry.

“I… yeah. OK.”

Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.

Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.

The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.

Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.

Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”

“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.

Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”

“Buck, you must have done this before.”

“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”

Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.

“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”

Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.

Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.

“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.

Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”

Buck stutters on his next breath.

“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.

If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.

Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”

“What are you—“

“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”

Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.

“Eddie, Eddie I—“

“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”

“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.

“You won’t,” Eddie says.

“I almost did.”

“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”

“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.

“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.

“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“

“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”

“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”

“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”

Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.

“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.

Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.

And then:

“Just so you know, I love you.”

[joansiefics]

CRASH, BOOM, BAM!!

MOSTLY BUCKY BARNES X READER

SUMMARY: You and your parents got in a car accident, while on your way to a holiday resort. You had several injuries, but your parents weren't so lucky. Luckily Tony, Natasha and Bucky saw the accident happen and helped you.

WARNING: Death (of family members), Car Accident, Blood, Injuries (cuts, concussion...), Crying over death, Held back against will (actually helps the reader), Nightmares, Blaming self.

REQUESTS are OPEN

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“

”

You let out a satisfied sigh as you snuggle deeper into your makeshift car bed. The air in the car was stilled and you focused on the acceleration of the car as your dad made a turn onto the quiet highway, the broadcaster keeping himself awake with his own silly jokes and the light stertor breathing of your mother sleeping in the pushed back passenger seat, all cozy and cuddled up in her heated blanket. You squinted your eyes open as the winter sun was shining morning rays through snow clouded skies onto your face and you welcomed the slightly warmer feeling on your skin.

You let out a groan as you reposition yourself to let your numb side sensitize. "How'd you sleep?" you hear your dad's gruff, hoarse voice move through the stilled air.

"It was good, but my left side is entirely numb" you answer with a chuckle.

You mother utters a few tired and dreamful mumbles as the tyres slide on the road soothing her back into a light slumber. "I was thinking we could stop at a chick-fil-a for some breakfast before we drive the last few hours, what do you say?" your face lit up at his suggestion

"That sounds amazing, I could do with some food" your stomach growls in agreement with your statement.

It didn't take long before you saw a part of the red logo in contrast against the white, sheet of clouds, excitement bubbling in the pit of your empty, growling stomach. A few more miles covered and your dad was pulling into the drive -thru. The lady at the last window stretched her arm out, handing your dad the paper bag filled with deliciousness. The heavenly smell of waffle fries, chicken nuggets and sandwiches reaching your nostrils and making your mouth water. The smell made your mother stir, before she tiredly opened her eyes, searching for the source of the appetizing smell. Your dad handed the paper bag over to you, for you to pick out your food and you gave the paper bag to your mother, after taking your chicken nuggets, waffle fries and bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.

Your dad ate his food while keeping his tired eyes trained on the road as he drove. Your mother sat up and nibbled on some of her waffle fries, while you quickly devoured your portions of food, but still savoring every taste on your taste buds. You finished the last bite of your sandwich, wiped your hands and corners of your mouth with a napkin and put the rubbish in the now foodless, full of trash, paper bag.

"Thank you dad" you thank before plopping back down on your back.

"You're welcome".

The car became silent once more and your eyelids grew heavier, the exhaustion of a term's hard work and determination finally taking over. You can hear the whispers of your parents trying to have a conversation without disturbing you, the sleet pattering on the window, the soft tunes form the radio and the gusts of wind as other cars dangerously speed past yours, lulling you to sleep. You could vaguely here the conversation between your parents.

"Do -- want me -- take over ---- bit, honey?" some of your mother's caring words reached your ears as she asked your father.

"No, -- fine"

"Honey, -- been driving -- eight hours and ---- awake even longer ----, maybe -- should let me take -- wheel ---- bit, while you ---- rest?" your mother's voice was filled with concern.

"I'll stop at -- next gas station, -- we -- switch, okay?" your dad gave into the offer, the thought of sleep to good to turn down.

"I love you guys" you mutter from the backseat, a smile tugging at your lips, satisfied with the perfect life and loving and caring parents.

"Love you too" your parents said in unison, enlisting a small giggle to tumble over your lips - maybe a giggle of happiness, maybe a giggle of satisfaction, or maybe a last giggle before a storm, before a teared world, before the ruining of a perfect life.

The next line of events was all a big blur to you. You remember you were happy, smiling and giggling before you fell asleep, but you woke up with your head spinning 'It feels more like my whole body is spinning' and sharp pains running through your legs 'Did I sleep my legs into feeling numb again?' and then came the realization - you were thrown from one side of the car to another and crashed through the window as the car tumbled down a hill. You were scared, confused and anguished. But then it hit you...your parents - where are they? are they okay?

"Mom?! Dad?!" you called, your voice faltering, shaking and small.

You tried again "Mom!! Dad!!" - nothing.

By now the adrenaline was surging and pumping through your blood, filling your veins, the pain slightly dissipating as the only thought was your parents. As you took in your surroundings you noticed the thick, cold snow you were laying in with your left cheek sunken deeply into it, the snowflakes falling on you and the location of the car crash, which was at the bottom of a steep hill, a few meters away from you.

With every last bit of energy you push yourself onto your feet and trudge towards the wreck, trying to lift your feet as high as possible to escape the deep snow. You want to run to see if your parents are okay, but even though the adrenaline is anaesthetizing any feeling of discomfort or pain, you feel out of control of your own body. 'I'm useless, my parents might need my help and here I am, taking my sweet time getting to them.'  

Arriving at the wreck, you fall to your knees, next to the crumbled car. The stinging of the wet and cold, icy snow going unnoticed as you try to spot your parents in the battered car. "Mom!!!!" You call out with a tremble in your voice and a lump forming in your throat. "Dad!!!!!" The stinging tears in the back of your eyes escaping a bit through your lacrimal duct, almost freezing to your numb, rosy cheeks.

Through your blurry vision you can make out your mother's figure hurled against the dashboard. The mere thought of your mother being injured, pumps regenerated adrenaline through your tired body and out of utter impulsiveness you push half of your body through the hole where a window used to be. The few remaining shards of glass stuck to the side, slices the material of your shirt. "Mom!!! You gotta wake up...please!!!" You try grasping her shoulders with your numbed hands, shaking her vividly.

The overcharge of blood rushing to your possibly concussed head and overflow adrenaline causes a buzzing in your ears, blocking out the slushing of the oncoming car's tyres in the snow. "Mom, please... open y-your eyes" You beg with quivers. The panic only seeps deeper into your already thumping heart when you don't feel a pulse on your mother's wrist. "No, no, no, no, this can't be happening" You mutter to yourself, moving your tremulous hand to the main artery in her neck, desperately searching for even the slightest pulse.

Temporarily giving up on your mother, you try wiggling yourself further through the hole to your father, but with no use when a strong pair of arms snake around your waist, pulling you out of the car. "No!!! I have to get to him!!! Please!!!" You cry out to the stranger, but you only get pulled further from your parents with you struggling against the stranger's grip. You kick and twist trying to free yourself while the sobs break through your chest. The adrenaline is now ineffective, making you feel exhausted - drained - and the pain stimulus finally reaches your brain, making you whimper a bit.

Over your heaving and the still, slight, present buzzing in your ears you can hear sirens nearing your location. You are now almost fully depending on the stranger to hold you on your shaking, glass shard invested, legs. You can hear someone talking to the stranger holding you "I ask-- Jarvis -- scan their vital- ---- --- dead." You try to piece the snippets of vaguely heard conversation together, which makes bile rise to your throat and you concentrate hard to swallow it back down. 'I could be wrong, I mean I only heard some of the conversation...yep, I'm DEFINITELY wrong' you try to convince yourself.

The tightening of the arms around your waist pull you out of your internal reassurance. All senses heightened you perceive the snow, in which your knees somehow came to sink in, feeling like a fire blistering any skin it comes in contact with, the talking of the few men, clad in blue uniforms, deafening you, as the wheels of the gurney whooshes through the snow as they take your parents to the ambulance - "my parents" - you say hushed, more to yourself than anyone else. The pair of sturdy arms turn you around and one hand comes up to the back of your head, gently nudging it forward into the stranger's chest, blocking all the view from your parents' figures covered by white sheets.

The steady heart beat, of the stranger, eliminates the chaos around you and in that moment it's just you and the kind stranger, in whose arms you feel safe. The calmness settles in you - the silence before the storm - the calmness before the reality. A few more minutes pass with the stranger holding you in their arms stroking your tangled, snowflake invaded hair when the shock enters, destroying all calmness. If you were standing your knees would have buckled, but you were already sitting with your knees in the snow leaning back on your ankles.

The sadness is to overwhelming, holding back all the tears and only making dry sobs leave your body. "They are gone" You say disbelievingly, shaking your head in slow horizontal directions. "I'm really sorry for your loss" this is the first time you hear the stranger's voice, but you like it - it produces a certain serenity, perfect for the situation. You pull away from the stranger and he removes his arms from your waist, and you almost instantly miss the feeling of comfort. "Thank you for uhhh..." you pause a bit, trying to collect yourself "thanks" you get the only word out that you can think of suitable, while pushing yourself to your feet. The man also pushes himself to his feet, brushing of the snow from his pants.

"Bucky" he introduces himself, sticking his hand out for you to shake. There is a small silence before you reach out, shaking his hand "Y/N" "We should probably get your wounds checked out, it looks kinda bad" Bucky says sincerely. You haven't even given thought to your injuries, you were solemnly focused on your parents - 'they're REALLY gone' - your mind begins spiraling again. Bucky rests his flesh hand on your shoulder, preventing you to give into your spiraling thoughts, and usher you towards a car. "My friends and I are going to take you to our infirmary where we live. You'll get better treatment there." Bucky keeps talking to you, trying to keep you from dazing.

In any other situation you would have had questions: 'where do you live? how can I trust you? who are your friends?'  But in this case it's different: I just lost my parents and nothing can be worse than that, what do I have to live for now?' The opening of a car door, breaks through your thoughts and you hesitate a moment before you silently climb into the backseat, Bucky following right behind you. The contrast of the freezing weather outside and the heated air in the car, sends a shiver of pleasure through your spine. "These are my friends, Natasha and Tony" Bucky introduces the two people sat in the front of the car, pointing to each of them when saying their names "this is Y/N" he tells them, pointing to you. You didn't even notice there were people in the car, until Bucky introduced you to each other.

'Say something' you mentally scold yourself for your awkwardness "hey, nice to meet you...thanks for, uhh, you know what" you say. "No problem sweetie, anytime" Natasha says with a soft smile, before turning around and focusing in front of her. The shock, adrenaline rush and fuzzy brain definitely took a toll on you causing your eyelids to feel heavy, fluttering closed, before you force them open again "Get some sleep doll" Bucky says, hugging you closer to his warm body. Without having to tell you twice, you let your eyelids close, only this time you keep them closed.

After a long drive, of which you have no recollection, the car pulls up to the tower. Bucky picks you up in his arms, careful not to push any glass shards deeper than they already are, and carries you to the infirmary, swiftly but steady. The entire time that the doctors treat your wounds, Bucky stays by your side and after an hour the doctors and nurses leave the room, satisfied with their work.

The annoying beeping of a heart monitor, the bright fluorescent light hurting your eyes even through closed eyelids, the tight skin around the penetrating IV and the bandages almost, not quite, but almost stopping all blood flow through your veins, wake you up from your sleep. The light hurts your eyes but you force them to stay open and scan your surroundings. "B-Bucky" you ask unsure with a hoarse throat "Your awake" he says cheerfully, grabbing a drink of water. He gently puts one hand at the back of your head, slowly pushing it up and putting the brim of the glass to your lips. You take a few small sips, letting it soothe your dry throat before you thank him for the water.

Bucky rests your head onto the pillows again and makes his way back to the chair he's been sitting on for about an hour. After a long silence in the room, but constant debating with yourself, in your head, you ask the question that has been floating in your mind. "What's going to happen now? I mean like...with me? Where do I go?" you rush through your questions almost forgetting to fill your lungs with oxygen. The heart monitor beeping rapidly and the lines spiking as your heart's rhythm increases "Hey, hey, hey, calm down...okay? Just breathe for me." Bucky waits for you to calm your breathing before he continues "For now, you're just going to heal. Once you're all healed, we can contact some of your relatives, maybe you can stay with them" Just the mentioning of staying with one of your immoral relatives cause goosebumps to form on your skin. "Our umm...my relatives? they don't really like us...me, they don't really like me" you say, confusion clear on your face as you try to correct your sentence. "Well then, you can stay here at the tower, with me..." Bucky suggests, quickly adding "that's only if you want to" not wanting to push you into anything. "Yeah, I...I'd like that" you say with a smile tugging at your lips.

"Why don't you get some more rest and we can talk again in the morning, finalize all the plans and so forth?" Bucky says when he sees your eyes drooping and your best efforts to hide your yawns. "Okay, thank you again Bucky, it really means a lot to me" You say already closing your eyes "Goodnight doll" He leans forward pressing a kiss to your forehead "Goodnight Bucky" He walks back to his seat and plops himself down, getting comfy for the night.

' "I love you guys" "We love you too, Y/N" and then *CRASH*...glass shatters everywhere, penetrating any flesh in its way. I feel the tingling as the blood drips from the lacerations on my arms and legs. But then I remember, my parents, "Mom, Dad!!!!" I see their lifeless, covered in blood, bodies against the dashboard. Then I hear my mother mumble the last few words, coughing on her own blood, spewing it onto her clothes "You... could have...saved us...Y/N" and then she exhales her last breath. '

You scream yourself awake and jolt up on the gurney. Sweat is dripping down the side of your forehead, your breathing is hitched and the heart monitor is screaming at you, trying to pull you back to reality. The last string of your daze snaps as a strong pair of arms wrap around you for the second time that day. "It was just a nightmare" Bucky cooes softly into your ear, swaying you back and forth on the gurney. "It wasn't just a nightmare, it was real" you pant, the words of your imagination mother replaying in your head 'You could have saved us Y/N'

"I could have saved them Bucky" you whisper into his chest "You couldn't do anything Y/N" "I could have..." you pause trying to think what you could have done. You know it's your mind playing tricks on you, you know your mother would never say such a thing, but you still can't ignore it. "You could have what?" Bucky asks, trying to lure you into accepting that you couldn't do anything. "I could have...I don't know" you sigh giving in with no answers "You couldn't do anything, okay?" Bucky waits for you to voice your acceptance "O-okay" you answer. "Just try and sleep some more, I'll be right here when you wake up doll" Bucky settles in next to you on the narrow gurney hugging you tighter to his chest, breathing exaggerated breaths for you to follow.

Falling asleep again you didn't have any nightmares - maybe the last time that you wouldn't get nightmares, well at least for now. But Bucky would always be there, by your side, swaying you to calmness and holding you to his chest - the chest of the once stranger that held you tight on the day of THE awful incident.