#want Tom to be almost losing himself to this ship

[pilots-and-protons]

Considering that Tom Paris has piloted:

At Warp 10 (Infinite Velocity, Everywhere All At Once)

An alien vessel with a Coaxial Warp Drive

Through a Borg Transwarp Conduit

With a Quantum Slipstream Drive (Temporarily)

Using a Neurogenic Interface (While Possessed By an AI)

I can't stop thinking about a scenario where some aliens pilot their ships with something like the "Drift" from Pacific Rim (sort of an upgraded, more integrated version of the Neurogenic Interface).

Would love a scenario where members of the Command Crew get kidnapped somehow and taken away from Voyager by these aliens. After retaking the ship (or even the equivalent of a shuttle), the only way for them to get back to Voyager without it taking years is for someone to pilot using the integrated "Drift" drive.

Of course, because of his broad scope of experience, Tom is the only one actually capable of it. But it would put him at great personal and physical risk. <3

[loudclan-clangen]

The World Ender by Lord Huron would be perfect for this moon

Anon you're so right and also I'm losing my mind over this song rn.

I had been imagining "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Johnny Cash for this moment but this song has all the vibes I loved from that one plus lyrics that are literally perfect for Wildfirecry, this is such a good pick!

Okay, SO: 7 farm cats attacked Fiercestripe's patrol. 4 of them were killed (Coal, his two sons, and one of Bee's sons), and 3 of them survived, but were wounded (Spider, Bee's other son, and Butterfly's son). These 3are the cats that Wildfirecry tracked down and killed in Moon 29 Part 3. He didn't kill anyone but those 3 toms!

No artistic liberty here! Wildfirecry committed at least three real life war crimes!

Absolutely! There's not a whole lot more to them than what is shown. I haven't put a ton of thought into Forestclan because they're already gone, but I imagine that they were a lot more religiously focused than Loudclan is. Their Starclan literally lived in the stars, and thus they were almost everpresent during the winter, and absent in the summer, when they were believed to hide underground. For this reason, if a cat died in the summer their body must be buried in order to join Starclan, and if a cat's body could not be buried, then they would be lost to wander until the sky darkened again. On the other hand, if a cat died in the winter, they would be left out to decompose in the open air, so that their spirit could ascend up to join Starclan in the sky, and burying them would leave them lost until Starclan returned underground. The rites that Wildfirecry performed doesn't allow for either of these fates. It traps a cat's soul somewhere in the middle, suspended in the air too low to escape into the sky and to high to shelter underground. I don't know if I've talked about it before, but I don't think the valley territories have a dark forest or equivalent "cat hell", so this is truly the worst punishment that Wildfirecry can bestow upon them.

It's Fiercestripe we're talking about here, she didn't waste time with some lovey-dovey good bye. She wants vengeance just as much as Wildfirecry does, if not more, and she only has a moment to speak to him. They'll have time for softness later, for now Wildfirecry has a job to do and she's here to help him do it.

I imagine that Rosehiptree would have been the one person Wildfirecry told that he was leaving. Quietly, before he excused himself, he told her that if he hadn't returned within a moon that she needed to go to the Black Water Pool and get her lives. While Wildfirecry didn't intend to lose all of his lives, he didn't want to promise to come back when he couldn't assure it, and honestly dying and passing his lives on to his only remaining daughter to make sure she outlives her illness is not necessarily a total loss in his book. Rosehiptree did that math, and considering everything she knew about her dad, decided that he was definitely not coming home. She relied a lot on Songpaw after their conversation, and even now that Wildfirecry's back and she's doing a little bit better, she still treats him as her anchor. She knows that Wildfirecry HAD to go do what he did to be able to live with himself, she's even thankful that he did it so that she doesn't have to fear Spider coming back, but he still left her when she needed him, and Songpaw didn't.

Thank you! That's a great compliment! I think it's pretty likely that you've spotted at least one of the ships being foreshadowed in Moon 30, but the real question is did you catch them all???

[thedemonofcat]

so, you ship Geraskier (me too) and you’ve said you’re reading the books (me too. are you going to ship Gerlion? Because I came away from the show, books, game, shipping Geraskier in the show and Geregis in the books/game. Just curious. Dandelion just feels to me like such a fundamentally different character from Jaskier. I know that’s mostly by design, seeing as Joey has had such creative control of Jaskier; but I truly feel like Dandelion/Geralt are better as the “we’re not even friends anymore we’re brothers” bond. And Geraskier is clearly coded for Jaskier to be in love with Geralt and Geralt oblivious until such time as it comes to a head since we don’t know yet what they’ll do in the show. Where Regis was just this force to Geralt that kind of hit him from the side, sacrificed himself, and left Geralt in pain from the loss; only to have pain over losing him to Dettlaff. It was just an interesting story. And based on who they have cast for Regis in the show, I am fairly sure it won’t be structured like that. I’m honestly mad at the casting because I envisioned Regis more of a Tom Ellis type. Not to get me wrong, I love the actor’s work it just doesn’t feel like Regis to me. Your thoughts? Sorry if you’ve been asked this before.

I will admit even though I have no problem with Laurence Fishburne as an actor, I do have to say I find his casting to be a tad strange since he’s just not who I would have pictured as Regis.

My theory is that maybe Laurence Fishburne is a fan of the books/games and asked to play the Regis, and because he's a recognizable name, that's why they cast him.

When doing my playthrough Of the Blood and Wine DLC. I did really come to like Regis, so I did play to get the ending where Regis lives.

I do agree that Dandelion from the books and Jaskier from the show feel like completely different characters. Since and I’m not saying this in any sort of negative way.

But Dandelion does very much feel like a product of the time the book was written.

Well, womanizers like Dandelion can be likable in their respective story often a time when you take a closer look and compare their actions as if they could exist in our world. They tend to come from a rather unlikable sometime down right despicable.

For Dandelion although the trait he seems to be most known for is womanizer tendency. Typically his near-undying loyalty to those he cares for (Geralt, Ciri, Yennefer, Zoltan, Priscilla) is what makes people truly like him.

There is an interview with Joey Batey where he says that they changed Jaskier's womanizer trait to being he loves everyone that his eyes come across since he felt like That is more appropriate for what the show wants to go for.

At this point, almost nothing anyone can say to convince me that Jaskier is not in love with Geralt even if he's fully aware that Geralt will not return the feelings in the same way.

[lokittystuckinatree]

Ok so I did a rewatch thread for ATLA a few years ago, and I’m doing it again for the LCU: Loki Cinematic Universe

Thor:

Forgot Thor dropped out of the Sky in New Mexico of all places lmao. Darcy my beloved.

This movie is making me emotional like a minute in. They haven’t even introduced Lokes yet don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry

really gives Star Wars x Lord of the rings energy huh

YEA THOR AND LOKI. Loki’s child casting is ridiculously impeccable though…same nose, facial expressions, we sure this kid ain’t Tom’s?

POOR SWEET SUMMER CHILD LOKI YOU HAVE NO IDEA

When I saw Sif I made this face. 😏 Wow the way they delayed Adult! Loki reveal for dramatic effect. And when I saw him I made this face 😩 and giggled like a schoolgirl. Hnnng I can’t handle Sifki in the same frame they’re too fine. Ok shut up simp.

ZOOM IN ON FRIGGA AT “FIRSTBORN” Obviously they just wanted to show his mom, and they may not have known Hela would be Odin’s daughter when making Thor, but fuck it is funny in hindsight.

ZOOM IN ON LOKI AT SELFISH AMBITION been there Lokes I get ya. They look….so damn good in silver, can we have Loki in Silver again?

Young Thor has anger issues, I forgot how hotheaded he was. wow he’s come a long way…or is that the inconsistent writing…

Loki: judges you in bisexual. Also Loki: don’t be suspicious don’t be suspicious

I forgot about Hogun I feel bad

Don’t go to Jotunheim that will start Loki’s villain arc and spiral into the entire infinity saga

Heimdall told Loki he wasn’t dressed warm enough the foreshadowing. WHEN BIFROST ACTIVATED TO GO TO JOTUNHEIM LOKI GOT ZAPPED FIRST. Where are the frost giants? *camera pans to Loki* there is SO much foreshadowing in this scene, also to Loki being a backstabbing little bitchsicle

Loki’s personality and character voice has been the same for 12 years stop complaining antis. Also thank Tom for that!

Loki should have played off “run back home, little princess” as Laufey referring to them, not Thor. Maybe chaos wouldn’t ensue. Thor you are a rambunctious irresponsible nightmare. You make Loki look cool and calculated, which they are, unless they’re having a psychotic break. Loki really would be and was a better ruler.

FIRST LOKI KNIFE THROW

While that scene is heartbreaking, Loki and the frost giant looking at each other in confusion will never not be funny

Loki saved Fandral awwww I ship it

I like this Thor better. He got too goofy and himbo later. He’s a golden retriever, but a jumpy, bitey golden retriever that tries to pick up sticks that are too big and get it into danger.

Loki was so scared this whole movie. His face is just…filled with dread half the time poor kitten

The love of Thor’s life during Thor: doing fancy science experiments, hanging with her friends, living her best nerd life. The love of Loki’s life during Thor: watches people die gruesome deaths, chokes on ash from supervolcano, narrowly avoids getting sucked into black hole, nearly drowns in mega tsunami, almost gets incinerated by nuke.

Until Sylvie, only Darcy could match Loki’s sheer level of chaos gremlin

Stop punching for 3 seconds Thor or I swear to god I’m gonna punch my television

“Thor is reckless and dangerous” you’re one to talk, Loki

The way Sif says Loki’s name, the way she reaches out to him first, as if she knows her sway on him…hmmm. Fandral jumping to defend Loki as if he himself has been offended….hmmmm.

“Am I cursed” thank you I will be crying though the whole scene. The way he tries to stay collected and just loses his shit…(I actually did cry and had to cut myself a slice of cake)

“Why do you twist my words” he has BPD Odin, that’s your fault

Thor: ANOTHER. Jane: no smashing, unless you’re smashing me

There is such a marked difference in how Loki acts after finding out he’s Jotun, down to the shaky way Tom delivers his lines. Loki is trying to put on this mask of grandeur and poise, when he’s so clearly…broken. How do I reach through the screen and tell him I love him? Loki is king, what he’s wanted forever, and he can’t even enjoy it. He is absolutely devastated. FuCK. But also, he’s having cynical fun with it. He’s had a terrible day, he’s done with everyone’s bullshit, and he’s decided to do whatever he fucking wants

He’s decided to become what everyone wanted from him…He found out he’s Jotun, and he wants to purge that from history and become someone he could never be…

He and Sif soooooo obviously have history, like how did I miss this? There also may be a bit of subtext with Fandral… Loki my Bi king

Also they are so androgynously beautiful this movie, Loki my genderfluid queen

Loki on earth: I will intentionally attract attention by being sexy. Thor on earth: I will unintentionally attract attention by acting like an alien, which I am

Loki’s only real friend is his mother. Unfortunately, I relate.

Jane and Thor are a better fit than I remember. They’re both impulsive, adventurous, but she mellows him out and is his voice of reason. He brings her out of her shell, keeps her life exciting.

Sup Clint

Thor is kinda cute, but too manly for me. My type is tomboys and femboys and everything in between.

I feel like Loki, yelling at Thor through the tv to calm the fuck down and stop hitting people and just sit his ass down and make a fucking plan. Thor and his hammer I swear to god. Maybe if you calmed tf down, you’d be worthy again, you hotheaded arrogant fool

Cinematography popping offfff

Loki: Father is dead. Me: YOU LYING SACK OF ✨beauty✨ *tries to be angry at Loki, literally drools instead* Loki: you are still banished. Me: you little shit! (affectionate). I hate you so much (sexually frustrated)

Loki and Mjolnir. The way he was frustrated, then angry, then heartbroken, but never hopeful. He knew he was never gonna pick that hammer up, but he still tried and failed. He looked like he was gonna yell, then looked like he was gonna cry…baby baby nooo

I’m really just Loki lite. Or Loki is me on a really bad day. Like when it’s 4:am and I’m considering murdering my grandmother. I’ll be like…jeez, am I really that much like Loki? He does some really fucked up stuff. Then I realize that if I was in the same situation, I would do the exact same thing. Psychologically, we are nearly identical. I also have the same gender, sexuality, skin, hair and eye color. I may be a variant, send help.

Marry me Lady Sif

Not Loki showing empathy…no one tell that corner of the fandom that idolizes his worst self and thinks he’s nothing but a cold hearted self obsessed psychopath. Did anyone really think that Robot punch was gonna kill Thor? The hulk hits harder than that. Loki was going easy on him. He does care, somewhere deep in his whole…mess. He never truly wanted to kill Thor, he just thought he did. I don’t think he could have gone through with it either. If he did, killing Thor might have killed him too. Look up splitting in bpd, and you’ll get it.

The plot of this movie is just: Loki has a breakdown

Ok I’m tearing up again at 4:40 am in the morning because sad popsicle just wants to feel loved…but he’s already loved…they just can’t believe anyone would love them for who they are… so he self sabotages bc deep down…they don’t feel worthy of the love they desperately crave *has a breakdown myself*

Loki is just me when I have a borderline personality disorder rage episode, provoke people by saying hurtful shit, and wanna jump off a bridge afterwards ngl

If you destroy the bridge you’ll never see her again…Loki trying to manipulate Thor, or Loki being a hopeless romantic and caring…a bit of both.

Loki’s su!c!de attempt genuinely made me cry, especially because I know he survives actual physical and psychological torture afterwards, and does things that likely haunt him forever. I wish I could tell him that a few years down the line, he will know his family and everyone in Asgard pitied him, loved him, mourned him, and in another timeline he will meet someone who will make him feel understood and validated and seen the way he thought impossible. It’s also making me worry about Sylvie attempting the same next season because…Loki and Sylvie are cut from the same cloth and as they said, they truly have been where she is now and felt what she feels.

End credit scene…I see you Lokes

[blackberrywars]

For the fic writers game. 🍑 And 🫐 of course 🤣

AHHH thank you so much for playing dear! I'm sorry it took so long but @halehathnofury, here it is! My most beloved Opinions

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

Well, I think you and I both know that it's Lambert. And this question makes it difficult because I really can't think of another character quite like him, especially a male one —someone so deeply hurt but still expressive, who wants better but has given up hope on it, simply resigned to clinging to what he knows. He's loud and angry, but he makes it very obvious that it is from a place of grief. He finds loves, but is always waiting to lose them. It's an archetype I've usually only seen in older characters (which......... Vesemir parallels, anyone?).

That being said. "Pretentious" literary reference.

Frankenstein's monster. Born on a able, brought forth by a magician who was so desperate to see if he could, he never stopped to wonder if he should. He's made of a dozen different parts, but none of them matter anymore, except for the fact that they matter the most —they make him human, make him long for all the things humans long for. A family, a lover, kindness. Good meals and warmth. But his rebirth, no matter the parts (the history) that make him human, has made him a monster in everyone's eyes. Lambert may not have murdered his makers, but then again, they were dead pretty soon. If he hadn't had the better influences of his mother and the Wolves... who knows what he'd do.

Additionally, because it's a favorite of mine:

Mad Max from Fury Road. Is part of this inspired by the similarity between Tom Hardy's and Lambert's luscious, smoochy lips? Yes, of course. But also, it once again brings up the theme of having his humanity eviscerated by his environment and the people around him, and, even when he does find some solace, still resigning himself to his reality. Spoilers for the movie, I guess, but Max is pretty goddamn feral for most of the movie, and everyone around him dehumanizes him, to the point of him being turned into a human blood bag. He snaps at everything, because everything has been a threat. Furiosa and the Wives eventually ally with him, and show kindness. He returns it, but at the end, he still moves on. Rebuilding Citadel life isn't for Max, the way Geralt's Corvo Bianco life isn't for Lambert. It will take something else.

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

In a general sense? The School of the Bear. I swear, it's not even me just being horny on main for large, hairy men, but the logistics of Arnaghad's philosophy really have so much potential. I've written a little about this before, but mostly in references. Essentially, yes, Arnaghad is poisoned by hyper-independence, but considering what reliance on kings/mages got the other schools, he kind of has a point. And if he didn't realize that, or care about witchers' lives, he wouldn't have founded a school about it. He would have just fucked off. He truly believes his method is the best way to keep witchers alive, even if he probably killed the most trainees on the way.

It's a really fucked-up, cruel kind of care that Arnaghad has.

By contrast, I feel like a lot of the fics about the Bears either take the minimal lore we have at face value or soften it to a considerable degree, and I enjoy both approaches. They make sense, especially when writing angst or fluff/smut, respectively. The latter is especially combined with a kind of post-sacking era, which makes sense; it's a bit like most Kaer Morhen fics, where the focus is on the members after the school itself has fallen, rather than when it was actually running. And believe you me, I adore those fics, especially the ones by @round--robin with the wonderful OCs. They are delightful. But something I would also love to see is some writing on Haern Caduch while it was still in operation. My heart hurts just thinking about it.

[humanoidtyphoons]

parturition. insanely lovely episode that resolves the paris/kes/neelix love triangle in such a pleasing way that i’m left almost wishing that they dragged it out tbh.

-in truth, neelix’s jealousy isn’t that bad. it lasts five episodes over the course of s1-2. but. it’s uncomfortable, it’s unpleasant, it’s ugly. so i don’t especially like watching it especially when reminded that kes is either 1 or 2 years old bc neelix is clearly older than that, even ignoring the actual actor’s age difference. so it’s just. something you have to put up with and get through, and it’s… pretty satisfying a character arc for neelix, and the ensuing friendship with tom paris afterwards is great. but in the thick of it… god, it just paints neelix in the worst light, in a way i don’t think the writers were intending.

-but… tom paris only realises his attraction for kes in this episode, and i kinda like how he deals with it, confiding in it with harry kim, that i… wanted to see tom paris deal with his inconvenient attraction to kes (and with some guilt/apology to neelix) because he’s genuinely so mature and respectful to both, trying hard to not make it an issue for either and keeping his feelings private. so i almost wish that his crush lasted longer tbh!!

-but it would have been interesting, i think. to deal with the inconvenient crush/attraction that just won’t go away. stranded in space, stuck in a ship, so you can’t really avoid them. just for an episode more, or two, i think.

-but god. neelix makes it such an issue. he’s so immature throughout it, he’s jealous that kes knows the bedroom locations of crew mates. you think he’s be better about his jealousy because of his chat with chakotay in the previous episode, but oh no, it comes back worse than ever.

-like i like the ambiguity, in a way? was neelix self-projecting? was he jumping to conclusions about tom paris bc of how he hears others talk about tom paris in the mess hall? is it seeing his former scummy self in tom paris and disliking that side of him? was he intuitively sensing tom paris falling for kes before tom paris realises it himself? there’s a lot of reasons this triangle unfolded, and previous episodes do sorta hint at this, not to mention the conversation neelix and tom paris have, (and EMH noticing tom paris’ behavioural changes and realising that he’s suffering from the repercussions of a crush (tho when this started is unclear) )where they hash it out.

-personally, i think neelix was written to be jealous, seeing things that weren’t there, and him losing his lungs temporarily planted a fear he could never shake off. meanwhile, while tom paris (who presumably spent time with her in sickbay and so they did develop a mostly offscreen friendship) didn’t harbour feelings for her until she fell into his arms. but i… i still like the speculation that maybe there was a grain of truth to neelix’s fears, before tom paris became aware, but… not to the extent that neelix contemptuously fantasised about, amplified by the hot gossip.

-but in the end the truth comes out: tom paris respects both neelix and kes to interfere, and his feelings will change at some point. and so the pettiness ends, now that they both talked it out and understand each other. it’s a great resolution! it really is!

-i also just like kes feeling guilty, in a way? feeling bad about the whole situation, even if it’s only so EMH can tell her, it’s not her fault, sometimes these things are out of our control and it’s how other people deal with it (tom paris’ attraction, neelix’s overbearing jealousy) in a way that has nothing to do with kes. (in some ways, she’s already experienced this, with EMH admitting that he finds kes beautiful, she knows, but it changes nothing between them) mostly tho, i like that she’s angry at them in their absence and intends to talk to them, but seeing neelix and tom paris get along pushes that aside, because she’s also happy to see them alive as well. there’s just something honest/real about it.

-but also, sometimes you just want to see two men bond while caring for a baby! and this episode delivers it in spades!

[mysticonsheadcanons]

Pink Skulls Spinoff 11: Discovery of Magic

They go to the monument where Yakham would be summoned, but they find that it's buried. Whle they are looking or it, they find a book. Tim and Kitty try to open it, but it remains closed. They decide to take it back to the ship, where they can figure out how it works in a familiar place, instead of sitting around a strange island.

On the ship deck, Nona is trying to figure out how to open the book. Tom comes and asks if Nona figured it out yet, but Nona says she hasn't. An alarm beeps on Nona's phone, alerting her that it's time to take her potion. She goes to her room and gets one, leaving the book alone. Tom fiddles with it, and manages to open it. He sees a spell and reads it aloud before stopping himself, realizing that the titles of the spells are in another language, so he doesn't know what the spell would do. He looks around, and doesn't immedietely notice anything different. He breaths a sigh of relief and is about to tell the others about the book, but then wonders why no one else could open it. He doesn't notice a creature under the sea where the ship is.

Tom is about to tell Kitty about opening the book when Kasey comes, saying there's a strange creature in the sea right below them, and while the Pink Skulls manage to chase the monster away, they don't know where it came from, or if others will come. Kasey feels uneasy about staying there, as it's possible that more of those monsters could come, so they decide to move ships. Tim says that it was kind of cool, and wonders where it came from. Tom realized that tthe monster appeared close to where he orginally did the spell, and wondered if he somehow did it. However, he decides not to tell the others until he knows for sure.

While the Pink Skulls are going find a new place to park their ship, they run into Captain Kaos and Mrs. Viv. Captain Kaos reveals that they have a device to detect magic connected to the spectral hand, and suspect that the Pink Skulls have something to do with it. Mrs. Viv sees the book, and says that someone lkely cast a spell from it. Kitty says that's impossible, as the book can't be opened. Tom looks away, and Tim notices and asks Tom what he's hiding. Tim reveals that he just learned he can open the book, and Danisha tells him to prove it. Kitty says it can wait, as they don't want the book opened in front of the villains, and a fight ensues. Captain Kaos and Mrs. Viv steal the book and run. The Pink Skulls chase after them.

As they are running, Danisha asks Tom why he didn't mention anything about it earlier, and Tom said he didn't realize it until he tried to open the book himself. Kasey asks if anything else happened, and Tom reveals the creature, but admits he didn't think the spell work, and thought he stopped the spell before finishing it, so he's not sure if it's a coincidence or not. Kitty says that it's something to look into after they get the book back.

They end up where the monument was just as Captain Kaos is about to read the spell. This scares the Pink Skulls, as Captain Chaos nornally didn't use magic, so they wonder if Yakham is making him more powerful. A fight ensues, where they almost lose the key, as it was in Kitty's pocket, but they manage to get it back. After a tough fight, they do manage to get the book back and escape.

As they don't have Proxima's number, they call Zarya to see if she can ask Proxima if she knows anything about the book. Zarya says that they are busy facing a monster that is heading towards Drake City, and after some talking, they realize that it was the monster they faced earlier. As they hurry to help, they do research in the book, and realizes that Tom almost did the spell to summon Yakham, but stopping it earlier meant that it only summoned a minor creature.

They go, and while the Pink Skulls and Mysticons hold it off, Tom and Danisha find a spell that will seal it away and Tom casts it. He apoligizes for the mess he caused, and Kasey says they understand, as he didn't realize what he was doing. Tom promises not to use magic again, but Nona says that they trust him now that he knows what the book can do, and the others agree. Kasey tells the Mysticons about Yakham, and the key and map they found. They believe that the key might unlock Yakham, and as they're worried about Mrs. Viv and Captain Kaos getting it, the Mysticons promise to hide it in the stronghold. The Pink Skulls accept.

[darkshadow90]

Things I’ve noticed about Norman Osborn and the Green Goblin in Spider-Man: No Way Home

 Hey guys. It’s been about a year since Spider-Man: No way Home came out. I’ve watched it several times and I’ve noticed some things I didn’t pick up on the first time and I wanted to talk about them.

I’m not entirely sure how far along the Goblin was in terms of taking full control of Norman but I’m willing to bet he was pretty close to taking full control when he came to the MCU and he was smart enough to know he was in a different universe. Norman looks scared and confused, not knowing why things are different. But the Goblin knows what’s going on and starts taunting him. “Coward. We have a new world to conquer. You make me sick, hiding from who you truly are.” Norman begs the Goblin to leave him alone. It’s a nice reference to how the Goblin only cares about power and if given the opportunity, he might try to conquer the multiverse.

In a way, I feel even more sympathy for Norman. He was sympathetic in the 2002 movie, but I feel like we don’t get to see how terrified of the Goblin he is aside from when he backs away from him in the mirror scene. In No Way Home, we get to see how scared Norman is. When he’s at the shelter with May, he explains that there are times when he’s not himself. He knows when the Goblin takes control he does terrible things. Norman can’t remember what happens and he has no control over what the Goblin says or does. He knows the Goblin could take full control at any moment and he’s afraid the Goblin won’t let him regain control ever again. I think that’s why he sought out Spider-Man. He wanted his help to be free from the Goblin. The heartbroken look on his face when he realizes the things he knows don’t exist in this universe and especially when he mentions Harry are fantastic because it shows that Norman does love Harry. He feels so lost and I can’t help but feel sorry for him.

I also think it’s nice that Norman likes Tom!Peter because it hints that Norman might like every version of Peter. It’s nice to see Peter and Norman working on a new microchip to cure Otto. It also makes me sad because it’s only a matter of time before the Goblin takes control. Norman likes Peter and doesn’t want to hurt him. The Goblin wants to break every version of Peter, and he almost succeeded in breaking Tom!Peter. Just before the Goblin takes control, Otto talks to Norman about how happy he is that he’ll have no more darker half and he’ll be completely free and be himself again. Unfortunately the Goblin wouldn’t let that happen and he takes control. I love when it happens because Peter’s Spider Sense goes crazy to show how dangerous the Goblin is. Even Otto knew something was up because he gave a puzzled look when he saw Norman wander off.

I should probably mention I don’t ship Otto and Norman. I didn’t see anything hinting at a romantic attraction between the two men. I saw two men who have a lot of respect for each other and the fields of science they work in. It’s possible they may have worked on projects together. I saw them being good friends at best, not boyfriends. I do love Willem and Alfred’s chemistry though. It’s great seeing them together on screen. Anyway, When the Goblin takes control he mocks Otto’s concern and says the powers he and the others they’re given are gifts and it makes them gods. The Goblin shows off his god complex and I love how Willem Dafoe shifts from playing a kind, sympathetic and flawed Norman to someone as delightfully evil as the Goblin.

 I think since Norman had nothing to lose in this universe and found out he would die, the Goblin was able to take full control of Norman. If it wasn’t for the cure Tobey!Peter made, the Goblin probably would’ve been in control of Norman permanently. No more Norman, or as the Goblin would say no more weakness. Tom!Peter would’ve had no choice but to kill him and the Goblin was more than fine with it. Thankfully Tobey!Peter steps in before Tom!Peter can kill the Goblin to remind him that Spider-Man doesn’t kill people, he helps them. When Tom!Peter stabs the Goblin with the anti-serum, Norman comes back. “Peter...what have I done?” And I feel sorry for him. I still can’t commend Willem’s dual acting enough. Happy one year anniversary to Spider-Man: No Way Home!

[fridgrave]

do you ship lanedunn in a enemies to lovers way, enemies who are also lovers way or more like in an AU? tell us tell us

OHOHO WELL-

they are enemies to collegues to lovers i guess? i'm completely ignoring dead reckoning and everything what could possibly happen there, so it's solid post-fallout story (it's hard for me to call it an AU because everything about my lanedunn story feels more right than possible mccruise... creature. sorry for this offtop i just can't trust cruise after the bruh named m:i fallout anymore. this movie sucks in lots of ways including not revealed dynamic between benji and solomon)

FINALLY here we are talkin' about my boys! how did they become a thing?

right in the end of fallout benji falls into a coma with a stroke! :D YES I KNOW but hear me out - he was HANGED TO DEATH (almost) and there's no way someone would just woke up after this and do heroic shit. the loop will strangle you even if you're not hanging anymore bc the knot was tightened with the force of entire body (190 lb or 86 kg in our case) and it cannot unwide by itself. and even after removing the rope man's larynx is damaged and strangulated so it's hardly possible to breathe. what does it means? well, first of all, the hanging scene is absolute bullshit and tom "i will fly at the plane and do hundred of other flashy things because i care about realism" cruise wasted the HUGE potential with whump benji arc (i could tell how good it would be for the plot of the movie named fallout where main character did't get any fallout of his actions but it's kinda offtopic again). secondly, in real world benji after the hanging would lose consciousness immediately because of oxygen starvation which will cause the brain damage (and this causes a stroke)

but we still need benji to disable the bomb, so alright lets add a couple of conditions. he could wake up with ilsa's help and with all of his strength disabled the bomb. this final effort costed him, so yeah, here's coma (also the big part in it has my headcanon what benji had an alcoholism his entire life what caused great damage to the body in the long term). when benji finally wokes up month or more after, he needs a physiotherapy and long recovery, but he's in terrible mental condition again and after sick leave starts to drink again. benji is dissapointed in ethan because he knows: if ethan contacted sloan before kashmir, nothing would happend, but ethan didn't and their mission was about to fail (and millions, if not billions of people including ilsa, luther, julia and benji would die). since m:i3 benji saw ethan as a selfless hero standing against until the end and this motivated benji to be a field agent too. but when he saw ethan just as a venturesome adrenaline junkie without a plan who would risk everything just to be the hero who beats the bad guy and yells "mission accoplished" - benji knew he can't deal with this man anymore. ethan is guilty in benji's stroke as much as lane, but lane never bait him with false promises, friendship and concern which stops to mean anything when ethan needs to show off (oh shit from lanedunn story explanation it turned into ethan roasting post, i should stop)

I WANTED TO SAY what after the stroke benji left imf because of his physical and mental condition and ethan. he started to drink badly again returning to his s*icide thoughts from pre-m:i3 (before meeting ethan), when solomon finally show's up. lane escaped when benji was in coma and with full rethinking about his methods started the syndicate 2.0 - and then he realised what he needs a partner to make world a better place, he can't to carry this alone anymore. solomon chose benji because he saw himself in dunn, and, more important, he saw the potential.

when lane proposed benji to become a co-leader of the syndicate, benji agreed (but he didn't mean it). he still hated solomon and thought lane found him just to "finish the business" - kill him, so suicidal man seized this opportunity. it took a long time for benji to realise what solomon is not going to kill him, what his proposal is real and this guy really wants benji to be a leader with him. and dunn could admit it was... tempting

for the first weeks their relationships were extremely awkward, so mostly they just worked on new system of the syndicate, rebuilding it from the start. benji made for them completely new path what took common people out of harm's way. now syndicate is focused on the powers that be. benji and solomon agreed what the best way to unite people and bring peace on earth is a renewal of proletariat as a class and abolish capitalism

while they worked on it together, they started to come together, learn more about each other and slowly understand what it's, actually, goes very well. when they do not try to kill each other they can find out what they both love opera and reading, what solomon understands benji's references on pop-culture and benji knows exactly what musical solomon is quietly singing the song from when he works with papers. solomon teaches benji to fight, benji helps him how to shoot better. solomon gives him reasons to stay alive and benji reminds him about selfcare and rest (but they both are overworkers). with benji solomon could see the world from different angle, open up and find a relief with all this burden he carried for years alone. they understand each other surprisingly deep and connection between them grew every day

so, when benji was shot saving him, and solomon almost lost him with "i think i don't want to die anymore" as the last words, he realised what he fell for benji

[swiftzeldas]

so the thing for me about Tom Hartnell is that I think he and Hickey generally have similar motivations for kidnapping Silna - I think they both want Crozier’s approval pretty badly. Hickey wants to deepen the perceived friendly relationship he has with the captain, but for Tom specifically.... Maybe I project or i see things that aren’t there, but I think Tom is pretty lost at the start of the series, even into episode 4. He’s just lost his brother and things on the ships have gone from bad to worse, and let’s be real, nobody on this show is very good at taking care of someone in emotional pain so Tom’s suffering alone. (His very sincere expression of condolence to Silna when she loses her father does not escape me.) This is a grief-stricken young man who hears an idea that might help the group and ingratiate him to the captain in one fell swoop, of course he jumps on it! And I don’t think Tom really harbors ill will towards Silna either; even after they bring her back to the ships he’s pushing other men away, insisting that she needs to immediately go to the captain. (Hickey and Manson notably don’t defend her a bit, and Armitage is nowhere to be found of course.) (And yeah, Tom participating in Hickey’s evil scheme is still bad! He shouldn’t have done that! But at least he has a shred of compassion for her which his companions DON’T. I know, the bar is on the floor, but whatever.)

But I think all three of the men who get lashed for the kidnapping react so differently, and Hartnell zigs where the others zag. The lashing is what really turns Hickey on Crozier, and Manson follows Hickey because Hickey doesn’t treat him like he’s “bad” I think. But for Tom, the lashing is a wakeup call. He realizes he’s becoming someone he never wanted to be. I think that if the lashing had NOT occurred, he easily could have ended up a mutineer with the rest of them. I do not think it is a coincidence that Hickey recruits a lonely, grieving Tom Hartnell to help kidnap Silna and then later recruits a bitter, grieving Sergeant Tozer as his second-in-command for the mutiny. 

I am also always really intrigued by his relationship with Manson, it always seems to me like Tom almost takes Manson under his wing - I love the scene in episode 5 with Hartnell and Manson vs Irving, wherein Hickey swoops in (clearly the hero of the moment) to rescue Manson more effectively than Hartnell does - Tom tries to fend off Irving’s wrath by getting Manson to acquiesce, just put his head down and do what he’s told, and when Hickey arrives he puts himself between Manson and Irving, and he offers Manson a solution to make him more comfortable while still getting the job done. That’s THE MOMENT that cements Manson’s place as Team Hickey. The scene where Tom is killed in episode 9 has echoes of this, too. Tom dies after trying to reach out to Manson one more time, he thinks he can get through to Manson again and get him to see reason, but the thing is that Tom has NEVER really been the one who gets through to Manson, as much as Manson likes the guy. Reading between the lines, I also feel like Tom sort of abandons his friendship with Manson in favor of growing closer to Crozier and Blanky, and that costs both him and Manson a lot in the long run. I don’t think Tom is wrong, of course, to prioritize his own needs and his own truth....but Manson makes his choice, and he picks the person he perceives as being there for him. 

But in making his choice, I wonder if Tom doesn’t sell himself a little short. Tbh it is really hard for me to wrap my 21st century brain around 19th century values (possibly why i like hickey so much hehe) and all I can think of is..... Tom did NOT deserve to be flogged no matter how much he thinks he did! What he did was wrong, but humiliation and pain aren’t the answer either! So there’s a bit of an “ick” factor for me with how close he grows to Crozier by the end and I have some....conflicting feelings about how I feel about that, from Crozier’s perspective mostly. Tom gets what he wanted, which is purpose and recognition and respect, I just hate that it takes him getting flogged to get him there, and I don’t know why Manson doesn’t deserve the same grace Tom receives. Crozier cannot help what era he lives in so I’m not blaming him, persay, but, as touching as the moment is, there’s something that feels....off, to me, when Crozier cradles and comforts Tom as he dies when Manson is standing right there, having committed the same infractions Tom did a year ago and receiving none of the redemption. Is it just because Tom repents? Because Tom is good and brave and openly will side with his captain when the captain needs him? Here, maybe, is the thesis statement: if someone on this expedition is in emotional turmoil, they need support from their captain because if they don’t get it from their superior officers, they’ll get it from Hickey. We see this play out with Hartnell, we see it play out with Manson, we see it play out with Tozer. And again, this isn’t a condemnation of Crozier because he can’t help that it’s 1848 and nobody knows what mental health means! But the show itself is certainly critiquing that attitude in more ways than just this one, the same way it critiques pretty much everything about 1840s british culture.

I really like how The Terror uses various characters’ storylines to mirror each other; out of every character, it’s Tom Hartnell who’s really the show’s anti-Hickey. Hartnell gets what Hickey initially wanted (respect and camaraderie with the captain) and Hartnell, despite any of his flaws, is what Crozier perhaps hoped Hickey would become - smart and brave, yes, but also selfless and kind. 

[unloved-cadillac]

Zeke returning from the war to see his s/o with a 3 year old son. He gets angry and thinks his s/o cheated on him but theres something about those blonde locks and bluey grey eyes that just seem so familiar. Thank you so much 💞💞

C/n: I hate this man but damn. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

———————————————————————

A Blue-Eyed Angel. (Zeke x Reader)

“So you’re leaving again?” You ask as Zeke packs up his bag, moving up and down your shared bedroom from the closet to the bag. “Yes. Unfortunately. I wish I could stay, my love. But..” “Duty calls. I know.” You complete his sentence and walk up to him and place your hands on his hairy face.

“When do you have to leave?” You ask you you with his shirt buttons. “Tomorrow at 4am.” He answers and you begins to kiss his neck and his arms rest on your waist. “So let’s make tonight last.” You say and he lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Say less.” He smirks and captures your lips in his.

The next morning you helped him pack the little stuff he had left and kissed him goodbye from the door. As soon as you shut the door, you ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

“Oh no.”

~~~~

When you finally confirmed that you were pregnant, you cried. Although it was amazing that you and Zeke were finally gonna have a family, he wasn’t going to be here to witness everything. Not the months that led up to it, not the cravings, not the experience of watching your baby grow in you and most importantly, the birth.

Harold “Tom” Yeager was born without his dad seeing him. It broke your heart but you knew that Zeke would adore him if he were here. Although, you weren’t totally alone. Zeke’s grandparents were there and they helped you with the delivery. Harold had Zeke’s beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair but your nose and facial structure.

The mission was prolonged to three years. Three years without your husband and three years without Harold having a father. Many people looked at you funny, having a son without your husband here made you have a bad look on society. But you didn’t care. Harold was your and Zeke’s baby. You knew that and that was all that mattered.

When the Warriors started to come back home, you were so excited. You cleaned up the house and made new clothes for Harold who mimicked your happiness, even though he had no idea why his mama was so happy. “Daddy’s coming home, munchkin. He’s finally going to see his baby boy.” You say and blow raspberries on his chubby cheek.

Zeke jumped out of the ship and greeted his grandparents. Speaking with them and looking around, he did hope to see you. “Zeke, dear. Y/n is at home with a lovely surprise for you. Go see her.” His gran says and he smiles. What could you be up to?

He took a taxi and they drove him to the little house that he called home with you. Taking his bags, he opened the little gate and walked on the path that led to the door. You did some gardening and repainted the house. It looked beautiful but he really wished he was there with you.

He opens the door and places his bags on the ground. “Y/n?” He calls for you as he looks around. Something felt off. Why did the house feel so cramped all of a sudden? Maybe it’s because when he left, both of you hardly had anything here and now three years went by so obviously you must’ve bought more stuff. So why did he feel so weird?

When he looked back at the corridor, there you stood. In all of your glory. Beautiful and ethereal. It seemed like a dream, seeing you after all these years. You were smiling as you both looked at each other.

“Hi, Zeke.”

You say and Zeke smiles broadly. “Hello, my love.” As he steps to you, you put out a hand to stop him. He did and he looked down to see a small boy peering from behind your legs. Zeke furrows his blond eyebrows as you tell the boy to look at the man in front of him.

The boy peeped from behind you and Zeke’s breath hitched. What the...

“Harold. This is your dad.” He hears you say and Zeke steps back abruptly, making the boy hide behind you. You lift your head and your features contour in confusion. “Zeke. This is our son.” You say and Zeke shakes his head. “No. I don’t believe it. How did you have a child already? I leave for war and as soon as I leave the house you find someone else to give you a child? Couldn’t you wait?” He asks, bitterly and you jaw drops in shock. “How..dare you?”

“No, Y/n. How dare you? Where is he?” Zeke asks angrily as he begins searching the house. You step away from him and hide Harold behind you. “Who?” “The man who knocked you up! I’ll transform right here and now just to find him.”

“You think I cheated? You think I would stoop so low to cheat? How dare you, you stupid man?!” You slap Zeke and his head turns from the impact of your hand. You take Harold in your arms and hide his face in your shoulder. “Get out, Zeke. And come back when you knock some sense into yourself.” You spit out and walk into your room with your child. Zeke saw you leave and he caught a glimpse of the child. It was..so familiar. But Zeke storms out of the house and sits outside on the patio.

He stayed out there the whole day. Thinking. The kid looks bigger than 3. But if he was bigger than 3, you would have had him while he was still here. So that’s crossed out. You found someone who had his exact hair and eye color and had a child with him? But that’s ridiculous. Zeke was being ridiculous. You were his Y/n, the warrior chick that almost broke a man’s arm when he tried to touch you. The girl who almost strangled another girl when she was being to flirty with Zeke. There’s no way you would’ve done this. But on the other hand, people change.

No. You never did change. Zeke wakes up and heads back inside to see the house empty. You were probably still in bed but when he looked in the lounge, he saw the boy play with his toys. A Beast Titan plushie stayed next to him and a few figures of the Jaw and Cart Titan were in his hands. Zeke leaned against the wall and eyed the boy. He had dirty blond hair that was just like Zeke’s when he was small and beautiful, ocean blue eyes that were bright like the sun shines on them.

But, it was the way his face was structured and his nose and the combination of all of his features made Zeke want Levi Ackerman show up and finally kill him. He was such an idiot. This was his son. This was his and your kid.

Zeke walked to the boy and sat in front of him. “Whatcha doing?” He asks him and the kid doesn’t answer just continues to play. His cute pout reminded him so much of you when you used to get mad at him. And he had to kiss his way back into your heart.

“You know,” he starts and picks up the Beast Titan doll, “I am this.” Harold looks up and shakes his head and takes the doll back, making Zeke tilt his head. “Mama said Papa is the Beast Titan. And he is fighting.” Harold tells him with a very subtle lisp.

You heard Zeke’s voice coming from the lounge and you saw him talking with Harold. You were so pissed off with Zeke but seeing Harold talk with him was surprising. Harold hardly spoke, apart from you and his great grandparents, he wasn’t really one to talk. So to see him talking a lot with Zeke made you melt.

Zeke turned his head and saw you with unshed tears in your eyes. He got up and wrapped you on his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for doubting you. I don’t know what came over me. Being away from you for so long made me lose my mind and to say all of those stupid things..I can’t believe I did. Please forgive me, Y/n.” Zeke spills out and he feels your arms wrap around him. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Zeke. But don’t you dare say that again.” You say and he kisses s your forehead. “Never. I will never say it again.” He promises.

When you both pull away, Zeke rests his head on yours and looks at the boy you both created. “What’s his name?” Zeke asks. You look up at him and smile. “Harold Tom Yeager.” You hear his breath hitch and he hugs you tighter than before. “What a beautiful name, Y/n.”

“Mama?”

Harold calls as he watches you and the strange man hug. “Harry. Come here and meet your papa.” You hold out your arms and he runs into them. You pick up and Harold holds tightly onto you as he looks at Zeke. “Hi, Harold. I’m your dad.” Zeke introduces himself and holds out his hand for Harold. Harold looks at you and you nod. He goes into Zeke’s arms and Zeke almost melts. He felt so small and fragile. Man, did he have so much of catching up to do.

———————————————————————

“Fuck you, Zeke.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

[nikosheba]

Marco -> Jake????

Oh my god where do i start i'm sorry this is gonna get long

One: young teens in the 90s who joke constantly about being in love with their best friends almost never grew up to be Completely Straight (if you are a teen who jokes constantly about being attracted to, being married to, and being in love with your best friend, just gotta say, start examining that now, it'll save you time). I'm compiling a giant text doc of snippets where Marco makes Very Funny Jokes about how into Jake he is (saying he gets all tingly when Jake takes charge, pretending they're married, asking if Jake has a kiss for him, calling him, "Hey, Handsome!" my folder is actually getting huge). If you made dozens of public jokes about how extremely into your best friend you were and you are at least 30 years old and you ARE completely straight now, let me know. (only olds!!! if you're born after 1990 life is legitimately different for you!!! seriously!!!! I'm not saying queer kids now have it easy but It Was Different!!!!)

Two: Marco joins the war for Jake. Marco goes on the Rachel for Jake. Marco's entire reason for making all the biggest choices in his life that will destroy him are for Jake. He even says in #15 that his entire identity is the funny and smart one who would follow Jake anywhere without blinking. Every other character has a crisis of wondering whether they should actually follow Jake! Cassie, his girlfriend, goes against his orders when Tom grabs the morphing cube (50). Rachel goes off on her own (37). Tobias loses faith in Jake completely and sees him as a manipulator (by 33, again in 43, completely after the war). Ax disobeys and incapacitates him when he thinks he has a good reason (52). Marco never does. He'll sneak around or try to weasel out of stuff, but he never has a moment where he loses faith in Jake. Even at the end, Jake goes around asking everyone to follow him - except Marco. He already knows Marco will follow him. He even tells Cassie that he doesn't have to ask, he knows Marco will follow him. Ouch!

Three: Marco aggressively pursues girl after girl after girl but he doesn't actually care about any of them. He deliberately chooses the most un-gettable girl around ( Marci, the "prettiest girl in school," Rachel, Jeanne, etc.), and if they ever DO show interest back, he gets nervous and tanks whatever it is (falling asleep on his symphony date in #25, dropping the eagerness in MM4, immediately turning around and joking to Jake as soon as Jeanne rejects him then never mentioning it again during the months they're on the ship, as if he's done his performative part and that's over with).

Four: Just to be clear: I very much headcanon Marco as not being entirely aware of this aspect of himself during the series. I could go either way on whether he's figured it out about himself by the time they get on the Rachel. I absolutely do hc Jake as being sadly 100% straight, which is a pretty rare headcanon for me to have about anyone, fictional or nonfictional lmao. (I'm also an enormous fan of Jake/Cassie, this isn't me saying Jake/Marco is my ship, but I absolutely, completely do believe that Marco --> Jake is a thing). There's also the fact that he already dealt with a HUGE loss of status - specifically, he went from "having the perfect family" and "living almost next door to Jake" to living in an apartment in the bad part of town. He's already gone from "the same social rank as Jake" to "significantly lower," and acknowledging there's something else about him that would demote him again in the same way? That would be terrifying.

Five: I'm just going to say: Look at these two descriptions from #5:

[image ID: Two screenshots of The Predator, Animorphs #5. The first one reads: "Jake is my best friend, even though, unfortunately, he is kind of a pain sometimes. He's one of those serious-type guys. You say the word "responsibility" and he snaps to attention. He's the kind of guy who always seems like he's bigger than he actually is. That's because he has that whole "I'm in charge, and you can trust me" thing going on. He has sensible brown hair, and trustworthy brown eyes, and one of those confident chins. He also has a great sense of humor and is very smart, and I would trust him with my life any day, any time, not that I would ever tell him that." The second image reads: "Rachel is Jake's cousin, and a total babe who, unfortunately, is also totally insane. See, somehow, underneath all that perfect hair and perfect teeth, there's this lunatic Amazon warrior-queen, just fighting to get out. Here's what Rachel'll say whenever we decide to do something so dangerous it makes you want to wet yourself: "I'm in! Let's go! Let's do it!" End Image ID]

I'm just saying. Which Berenson does it sound like he's really into?

Six: I'm projecting! I was a queer kid in the 90s who was in love with my best friend and I'm completely projecting! Because it genuinely looks like Marco is going through all the same things I went through!

[legends-live-in-memories]

For The Love of a Father (Idea)

AYO it me! this was inspired by an idea by @1rosebyanyothername in the MGI server. (i copied this directly from the server so rip my punctuation)

“What if somehow Thomas Wayne managed to live but lost his memory, so he moved to Paris, taking on the name Thomas Dupain?

What if he then married Sabine Cheng, and then eventually had Marinette?

So Bruce would be Marinette’s half brother, around 8 years older than her.”

So this is what I came up with as a part of brainstorming for it. (again not a fic but an idea that i should not be allowed to have)

without further ado:

Okay so imagine they, Thomas and Martha, were pronounced dead on scene but when they get to the coroner's office Thomas wakes up but since this has already made big public scandal the coroner tries to be discrete and ships his unconscious body off to like Strange or someone who then confirms the memory loss or gasp does it himself and ships him off to who knows where cuz the underbelly of Gotham has plans and a living Wayne ruins that but he didnt kill him cuz the Wayne foundation funded Blackgate and Arkham so out of mercy he doesnt kill him but ships him off to Italy in the care of one (1) ☝ Gina Dupain who was all new son and rolled tf with it

now he is being careened off to Paris cuz his 'father' Roland lives there but since Thomas was already a grown man at this point he just tries to live on his own and this is where he meets Sabine and they have a lovely daughter named Marinette Martha Dupain-Cheng

he doesnt know why he chose Martha but the name comes with an intense feeling of love so of course he would name his first daughter after that name

now either this is set in like fox series Gotham where we have young pre!batman Bruce or whenever but if you choose that route then maybe immediately after the series during his sabbatical he finds himself in Paris and would you look at that his dad his sweeping floors while a girl no older than 6 is calling him papa and Bruce just fucking breaks and he doesnt know what to do cuz he thought this man was dead but no he has a new family a new wife a new kid and Bruce has spent all this time grieving this man so he walks in trying to figure out wtf is going on but then Thomas looks up at this now 18??? yr old Bruce and there's a pleasant smile and 'welcome to Tom and Sabines how can i help you' and no recognition and Bruce then realises he has truly lost his father and now when he becomes batman its not with the grief of losing his parents but with the pain of losing his father twice

so then fast forward and cue to 13 yr old Marinette and being ladybug and wonder woman tells the league of a problem in Paris and Bruce just like freezes cuz wtf and internally he's spiralling cuz he never recovered from his discovery of his father's new simple life but the mission comes first and the grieving 12 yr old inside has to take a backseat for now so he sends someone (maybe midnighter but idk much bout him so someone else like wonder woman) to find out more and get in contact with those dealing with the situation so they schedule a meeting with ladybug and chat noir and Bruce nearly swallows his tongue cuz he doesnt give a f bout magic and magic cant hide those eyes cuz he sees them every morning in the mirror the same shade of blue (idk if it was Thomas or Martha that had blue eyes and i dont think canon knows either) and Bruce just knows this is his father's daughter his sister and she's caught in the same life as he but not because she condemned herself to this life but cuz some ras al ghul wannabe forced her and now he's seeing red but he cant lose his cool cuz batman doesnt lose his cool

so they work together but this little girl no taller than his ribs is hesitant and cautious and she's cracking under the pressure cuz her partner has other responsibilities and she has to pick up the slack and she doesnt know what to do and now Bruce is this close to revealing himself to her and explaining everything so that she has a bigger shoulder to lean on but he cant cuz hawkmoth and magic and secret identities and its a whole mess

(he is absolutely ready to go apeshit during weredad but he doesnt but its a damn near thing)

NOW we cut to when Mari is like 16 and theyre closing in on hawkmoth but he cant focus too much on that cuz 38 yr old Bruce just picked up a child and holy shit how does one parent and his sister?? can he even call her that?? is handling the situation so he takes a bigger backseat on Paris and focuses more on cleaning up Gotham and training/raising robin

and now things are kinda mellowing out and everyone falls into their new routines and roles in life Bruce almost forgets that his dad is not dead and during an investigation he finds out that Hugo Strange was responsible for shipping his father off like cheap export and now he's torn because he knows Strange can undo it,,, the bastards done worse and more complicated shit over the years undoing memory loss that he caused should be piece of cake but he doesnt want to take away a father from his child cuz Bruce knows how that can absolutely ruin someone and he's grown fond of his sister even if the relationship is severely one-sided she's family and Bruce couldnt do that to family but ,,,, but he misses his father he loves Alfred truly but nothing replace the Thomas and Martha shape gape in his heart so he does nothing

NOW he does however want to bridge the gap between himself and Marinette cuz he wants to know his father's new family even if the thought of his father loving someone other than his mother and calling someone else his child makes him viscerally ill he is nothing if not addicted to self-inflicted punishment after all

so he invites her whole class over to metropolis as some scholarship trip (he'll be damned if he brings his tiny sister to gotham of all places) and tries to get to know her there but he cant do so under much professional settings so he lets it slip casually in a presentation about his parents and includes a picture of his parents and he sees the looks the girl’s classmates throw around cuz they know that man as her father not his but no one can deny the resemblance so after the presentation she discretely goes off to talk with him in private but everyone sees them and knows whats happening so there is no time for pretense but they go into a back room and they talk and talk and talk and cry a little bit maybe a lot and they make promises to get to know each other

[aion-rsa]

Doctor Who: Perfect 10? How Fandom Forgets the Dark Side of David Tennant’s Doctor

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As recently as September 2020 David Tennant topped a Radio Times poll of favourite Doctors. He beat Tom Baker in a 2006 Doctor Who Magazine poll, and was voted the best TV character of the 21st Century by the readers of Digital Spy. He was the Doctor during one of Doctor Who‘s critical and commercial peaks, bringing in consistently high ratings and a Christmas day audience of 13.31 million for ‘Voyage of the Damned’, and 12.27 million for his final episode, ‘The End of Time – Part Two’. He is the only other Doctor who challenges Tom Baker in terms of associated iconography, even being part of the Christmas idents on BBC One as his final episodes were broadcast. Put simply, the Tenth Doctor is ‘My Doctor’ for a huge swathe of people and David Tennant in a brown coat will be the image they think of when Doctor Who is mentioned.

In articles to accompany these fan polls, Tennant’s Doctor is described as ‘amiable’ in contrast to his predecessor Christopher Eccleston’s dark take on the character. Ten is ‘down-to-earth’, ‘romantic’, ‘sweeter’, ‘more light-hearted’ and the Doctor you’d most want to invite you on board the TARDIS. That’s interesting in some respects, because the Tenth Doctor is very much a Jekyll and Hyde character. He’s handsome, he’s charismatic, and travelling with him can be addictively fun, but he is also casually cruel, harshly dismissive, and lacking in self-awareness. His ego wants feeding, and once fed, can have destructive results.

That tension in the character isn’t due to bad writing or acting. Quite the contrary. Most Doctors have an element of unpleasantness to their behaviour. Ever since the First Doctor kidnapped Ian and Barbara, the character has been moving away from the entitled snob we met him as, but can never escape it completely.

Six and Twelve were both written to be especially abrasive, then soften as time went on (with Colin Baker having to do this through Big Finish audio plays rather than on telly). A significant difference between Twelve and Ten, though, is that Twelve questions himself more. Ten, to the very end, seems to believe his own hype.

The Tenth Doctor’s duality is apparent from his first full appearance in 2005’s ‘The Christmas Invasion’. Having quoted The Lion King and fearlessly ambled through the Sycorax ship in a dressing gown, he seems the picture of bonhomie, that lighter and amiable character shining through. Then he kills their leader. True, it was in self-defence, but it was lethal force that may not have been necessary. Then he immediately topples the British Prime Minister for a not dissimilar act of aggression. Immediately we see the Tenth Doctor’s potential for violence and moral grey areas. He’s still the same man who considered braining someone with a rock in ‘An Unearthly Child’. 

Teamed with Rose Tyler, a companion of similar status to Tennant’s Doctor, they blazed their way through time and space with a level of confidence that bordered on entitlement, and a love that manifested itself negatively on the people surrounding them. The most obvious example in Series 2 is ‘Tooth and Claw’, where Russell T. Davies has them react to horror and carnage in the manner of excited tourists who’ve just seen a celebrity. This aloof detachment results in Queen Victoria establishing the Torchwood institute that will eventually split them apart. We see their blinkers on again in ‘Rise of the Cybermen’, when they take Mickey for granted. Rose and the Doctor skip along the dividing line between romance and hubris.

Then, in a Christmassy romp where the Doctor is grieving the loss of Rose, he commits genocide and Donna Noble sucker punches him with ‘I think you need somebody to stop you’. Well-meaning as this statement is, the Doctor treats it as a reason to reduce his next companion to a function rather than a person. Martha Jones is there to stop the Doctor, as far as he’s concerned. She’s a rebound companion. Martha is in love with him, and though he respects her, she’s also something of a prop.

This is the series in which the Doctor becomes human in order to escape the Family of Blood (adapted from a book in which he becomes human in order to understand his companion’s grief, not realising anyone is after him), and is culpable for all the death that follows in his wake. Martha puts up with a position as a servant and with regular racist abuse on her travels with this man, before finally realising at the end of the series that she needs to get out of the relationship. For a rebound companion, Martha withstands a hell of a lot, mostly caused by the Doctor’s failings. 

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Series 4 develops the Doctor further, putting the Tenth’s Doctor’s flaws in the foreground more clearly. Donna is now travelling with him, and simply calls him out on his behaviour more than Rose or Martha did. Nonetheless the Doctor ploughs on, and in ‘Midnight’ we see him reduced to desperate and ugly pleas about how clever he is when he’s put in a situation he can’t talk himself out of.

Rose has also become more Doctor-like while trapped in another reality, and brutally tells Donna that she’s going to have to die in order to return to the original timeline (just as the Doctor tells Donna she’s going to have to lose her memories of travelling with him in order to live her previous life, even as she clearly asks him not to – and how long did the Doctor know he would have to do this for? It’s not like he’s surprised when Donna starts glitching). Tied into this is the Doctor’s belief in his own legend. In ‘The Doctor’s Daughter’ he holds a gun to Cobb’s head, then withdraws it and asks that they start a society based on the morals of his actions. You know, like a well-adjusted person does.

What’s interesting here is that despite presenting himself as ‘a man who never would’, the Doctor is a man who absolutely would. We’ve seen him do it. Even the Tenth Doctor, so keen to live up to the absolute moral ideals he espouses, killed the Sycorax leader and the Krillitanes, drove the Cybermen to die of despair, brought the Family of Blood to a quiet village and then disposed of them personally. But Tennant doesn’t play this as a useful lie, he plays it as something the Doctor absolutely believes in that moment, that he is a man who would not kill even as his daughter lies dead. It’s why his picking up a gun in ‘The End of Time’ has such impact. And it makes some sense that the Tenth Doctor would reject violence following a predecessor who regenerated after refusing to commit another double-genocide.

In the series finale ‘Journey’s End‘, Davros accuses the Doctor of turning his friends into weapons. This is because the Doctor’s friends have used weapons against the Daleks who – and I can’t stress this enough – are about to kill everyone in the entire universe. Fighting back against them seems pretty rational. Also – and again I can’t stress this enough – the Daleks are bad. Like, really bad. You won’t believe just how mindbogglingly bad they are. The Doctor has tried to destroy them several times by this point. Here, there isn’t the complication of double-genocide, and instead the very real threat of absolutely everyone in the universe dying. This accusation, that the Doctor turns people into weapons, should absolutely not land.

And yet, with the Tenth Doctor, it does. This is a huge distinction between him and the First Doctor, who had to persuade pacifists to fight for him in ‘The Daleks’.

In ‘The Sontaran Strategem’ Martha compares the Doctor to fire. It’s so blunt it almost seems not worth saying, but it’s the perfect analogy (especially for a show where fire is a huge part of the very first story). Yes, fire shines in dark places, yes it can be a beacon, but despite it being very much fire’s entire deal, people can forget that it burns. And fire has that mythical connection of being stolen from the gods and brought to humanity. The Time Lord Victorious concept fits the Tenth Doctor so well. Of all the Doctors, he’s the most ready to believe in himself as a semi-mythic figure.

Even when regenerating there’s a balance between hero and legend: the Tenth Doctor does ultimately save Wilfred Mott, but only after pointing out passionately how big a sacrifice he’s making. And then he goes to get his reward by meeting all his friends, only to glare at them from a distance. His last words are ‘I don’t want to go’, which works well as clearly being a poignant moment for the actor as well, but in the context of Doctor Who as a whole it renders Ten anomalous: no one else went this unwillingly. And yet, in interviews Russell T. Davies said it was important to end the story with ‘the Doctor as people have loved him: funny, the bright spark, the hero, the enthusiast’.

It’s fascinating then, that this is the Doctor who has been taken to heart by so many viewers because there’s such an extreme contrast between his good-natured front, his stated beliefs, and his actions. He clearly loves Rose and Donna, but leaves them with a compromised version of happiness. They go on extraordinary journeys only to end up somewhere that leaves them less than who they want to be, with Russell T. Davies being more brutally honest than Steven Moffat, who nearly always goes the romance route. Davies once said to Mark Lawson that he liked writing happy endings ‘because in the real world they don’t exist’, but his endings tend towards the bittersweet: Mickey and Martha end up together but this feels like they’re leftovers from the Doctor and Rose’s relationship. The Tenth Doctor doesn’t, as Nine does, go with a smile, but holding back tears.

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It’s a testament to how well written the Tenth Doctor is that the character has this light and shade, and with David Tennant’s immense likeability he can appeal to a wider audience as a result. It’s not surprise he wins all these polls, but I can’t help but feel that if the Doctor arrived and invited me on board the TARDIS, I’d want it to be anyone but Ten.

The post Doctor Who: Perfect 10? How Fandom Forgets the Dark Side of David Tennant’s Doctor appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

AN: Points two and three in this post were requested by @thinkingfixatingobsessing​, who wanted me to dissect those moments. Thanks goes to her for the ideas. 

1. Brother Against Brother.

Roman’s introduction in Succession sees him coming back from California to congratulate Kendall on what his siblings--at this point--believe is his new position as next CEO of Waystar. We find out in this scene that Roman was once working alongside Kendall--in a position Roman only refers to as “not as high” as Kendall’s--before he was shipped off to CA for being, in his own words, “a bad fit”. The further we get into the series however, the more hindsight helps in analyzing this first scene, and we realize two important things. Firstly, when Roman claims he was not right for the company, we can almost hear Logan’s voice in the shadow of Roman’s words, saying that he was a bad fit: too incompetent, too unreliable, not enough of a shark. The more we see of their dynamic, the more we realize Logan is the one who doesn’t believe in Roman and Roman more or less parrots to others what he has been told his whole life. We can also safely assume that Roman would have remained this way--directionless, unmotivated--had he not been taken by Gerri under her wing. I’ve mentioned in other posts how her belief in him is vital to his change in direction, so I needn’t go into great detail here, but Roman--depicted as un-invested in Waystar from the get-go--is invested enough to push Gerri as CEO only one episode later, which is interesting to say the least. Secondly, we see in this scene a foundation for what will later become Roman’s motivation to betray his own family and oust them and secure power for himself. We know from later episodes that Kendall is repeatedly given passes for bad behavior and privileges his siblings don’t get, Roman in particular. This however, is a pattern that precedes the show, as we see Kendall only three years after his cocaine spiral set to take over the company in spite of a history of poor decisions while Roman is depicted as simply ‘too stupid’ to run Waystar when he doesn’t engage in the same risk-taking that his peers do, drugs included. The bitterness Roman needs to accomplish his goals has a core located in his upbringing, and grows larger as he gets batted around in lower-level jobs in the company while watching his brother sail past him to take the reigns. 

2. Blank slate.

In Prague, we see Roman and Tom at Tom’s bachelor party scoping out the women and seeing if there are any that catch their eyes--particularly Tom, who is interested in exploring the opening given him by Shiv to ‘engage himself’ with other women for the evening. This marks Tabitha’s first appearance in the show, as she catches Tom’s eye, who quickly points her out to Roman, waffling whether or not to approach her. Roman attempts to make a sexual/salacious remark to describe what he might do to her, but is unable to properly express anything, saying, “Fuck yeah, I’d be all over that. I’d like...I’d fucking...arggh, fuck!”. We see here a moment that ties into Roman’s sexual hang-ups, first touched on by his first girlfriend earlier in the season, and explored in greater detail in his relationship with Tabitha. What’s key in his inability to express himself here is that Tabitha, from the beginning, before the start of her relationship with Roman, is unable to strike enough of a nerve with him for him to even be able to express how he might engage with her sexually, which is interesting given his ability to make sexually charged remarks in other settings. It also stands in stark contrast to his ability to come on to Gerri during their first moments on camera. Where he fails to find words to even say what he might do to Tabitha, even something as simple as “I’d fuck her hard”, he tells Gerri expressly that he likes to “lube up and fuck”, and while he does not necessarily mean it literally, he can still look her in the eye and flirt with her without hesitation, and proceeds to do so throughout that scene. He is later able to have phone sex with her--another scene where the show purposefully parallels his relationship with Tabitha, who he hangs up on--and tells her at that moment he wants for her to hear him masturbate to the sound of her voice--again expressly telling her sexually what he wants to do and then following through. In Hunting, he waits for her to come close to him and begin buttoning his shirt before telling her, “You know, if I were capable of any sudden movement I would totally pounce on you right now.” All of these moments spiral out of this first moment with Tabitha, where the show begins, even then, to showcase Romans’ inability to sexually engage with her while being able to do so with Gerri from the beginning. The reasons Roman is wired this way can be tied to his trauma as a child--his need for humiliation to get off with Gerri--but it can also be seen as possibly hinting that Roman and Gerri’s relationship goes back farther than we know, spelled out in his ability to flirt easily with her and engage with her in ways he cannot with younger women, and in Gerri’s ability to understand him deeply enough that she is able to please him without even sleeping with him.

3. Roman’s Wife. 

The scene where Roman proposes to Gerri can probably be dissected a million ways--as can really any of the show, to be fair--but I will touch on one interesting facet of this scene. There is--as there are many times over the show--a parallelism at play here between Tabitha and Gerri. In Pre-Nuptial, Roman proposes to Tabitha by asking her, “What if I was prepared to marry you?”. When Tabitha balks at the suggestion, he elaborates that because his siblings are married, or have been, that he should be too, insinuating the decision is made more-so to follow suit. It’s not that he doesn’t like Tabitha--he precedes his proposal with a list of her best qualities, after all. It’s more-so that this scene makes it obvious that his desire to marry her doesn’t come from a desire for her as a person, merely his desire to be on-par with his siblings with regard to lifestyle choices. That proposal culminates with Tabitha asking Roman, “Do you think this is the way to get someone to stay?” to which Roman doesn’t respond, but the audience already knows the answer. Roman’s desire not to be alone precedes his actual interest in her, and Tabitha is smart enough to suss out that she is not the one for him, merely the one he is with right now. When Roman proposes to Gerri, he takes a much different approach. Roman’s proposal is something of a surprise, but yet it also is another step in a relationship wherein the players are already entrenched in a sexual affair with one another. Roman throws out the question as casually as he can and then when Gerri reacts with surprise, Roman quickly subverts the seriousness of the moment by jokingly telling her that if not marriage than simply abducting her will suffice. He also adds on that their eating one another--again, not literally, although he makes reference to Germany’s famous Armin Meiwes--suits his fancy, implying that being ‘one’ with her even in oneness’ most brutal, animalistic way is enough for him. Where he loses his patience with Tabitha when she rejects him, finally snapping, “Do you want to get married or not?”, when Gerri reacts with shock he merely plays it cool and offers her alternatives, finally slipping out of the room and leaving the ball in her court. Roman would most certainly like Gerri to stay, but he doesn’t use marrying her as a ploy to get her to do so merely so he isn’t alone--a narcissistic reason for marrying someone that satisfies only his own ends. He is comfortable enough in his relationship with Gerri to allow her to roam independently and decide for herself what she wants. He doesn’t force any aspect of their togetherness, merely presents her with different opportunities to see how she will react and if she can keep up with him. Gerri proves time and again that she is capable and Roman ups the ante in response to her prowess. His desire to marry her is based in what we know from the “Rockstar and the Molewoman” scene as his ability to see them as a team. To him, Gerri is an equal, not a belonging or a means to evade unpleasant emotions. She fulfills him in a way Tabitha and others cannot, and so when he asks her to marry him, he is also showcasing to the audience his view of her as an equal, and a prime candidate for the role of wife. 

[peakyxtommy]

Wonder - T.S.

Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader

Summary: Based around song Wonder by Shawn Mendes. Tommy wonders about his love for the reader and has to make a decision to confess or deny it. 

Word Count: 2.7K 

Warning: Angst, Sadness, Fluff

A/N: Enjoyed writing this. Ya Girl Snapped LOL Listen to Wonder b/c that song snaps.

Gif Credit: @myimaginesworld​

I wonder if I'm being real

Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel?

I wonder, wouldn't it be nice

To live inside a world that isn't black and white?

His heart ached again in this lifetime. His heart has not ached this way in the longest of time, since he lost his first true love. It was a losing battle because the only thing that painted his mind was the scene of you crying last night in his office. He did what he did best which was push people away. It was a trait he had gotten good at from a young age. Thinking he was protecting himself but was really doing the opposite. Avoiding being vulnerable, the risk that comes with letting another person in. Letting them see the deepest roots of your soul. The actions of the past that caused trauma on the present. Wishing it all could be wiped away in the future. 

He remembers the crack in your voice as the scene replays in his head. You came to his office, to be taken out to dinner as he had forgotten earlier in the week. When you show up to his office ready to be dined, you're met with the same old excuse again. That’s when your voices started out in a yelling match to now be in hushed whispers of the rarest parts of your mind, on display for the other. 

“Do you even love me?” Your finger points accusingly at him as he stands tall with a small space between your two bodies, but the tension felt made that space feel like you were across the room. It was a question that broke his heart even more than the first time the words left your soft lips. The way your brow furrowed and the curvature of your lips frowned with deep sadness, he knew this wasn’t a game anymore. 

“Why would you even ask that?” He questions in defense, not daring to meet your eyes, finding his reflection in his black shoes more interesting. 

“Lately, I can feel the distance growing between us, like a ship lost at sea, that’s getting harder to reach. I know I told you how I felt, a few weeks back. I didn't need to hear you say it back but, since then, it’s like you’ve been avoiding me like the plague. It hurts.”

You whisper the last part so soft, he almost misses it. He hears it but the thought scares him. Makes him want to run even further away than when you first said it to him. He stares as you hold back the tears in your eyes, silently pleading for him to say something, to be brave enough to let you in. He remains silent. 

“I love you Tommy, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s like lighting fires with matches, but it’s not catching with you. I keep leading myself into the flames, to keep on burning. It’s not enough to lose myself when you get to walk away fine, not broken hearted.” 

“Then maybe you should go. Find someone that is good enough for you!” He screams, throwing the glass in his hand against the wall, watching as it shatters into small pieces. This was the last straw for you. You just shake your head in disappointment, as he tries to get the last word in. 

As he watched you leave his office with the door slamming loudly, shaking the walls. He knew it was a mistake that he didn’t go after you or say the truth he felt in the deepest part of his being. So instead he sat in his office staring out the window nursing a bottle of whiskey and a pack of smokes, hoping it would take some of the pain away. It doesn’t but it at least numbs the thought of you in his heart and mind, at least for a little while.  

Right before I close my eyes

The only thing that's on my mind

Been dreamin' that you feel it too

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

He felt it felt deep inside his bones from the moment he met you. He couldn’t explain why when you talked to him it made everything feel different, feel new. He wondered about you. His mind couldn't stop traveling to the future. He let himself dream freely of loving you. He wanted to tell you the truth but he was afraid. You made him happy. You covered the deepest scars and wounds with your words. Words that spoke truth, spoke volume. You were sweet and kind, the almost exact opposite of him. You spoke with a smile on your face every time you graced him with your presence. 

It had been three days since he last saw and heard from you. He didn’t blame you at all, he blamed himself. He knew the look on Polly’s face the second day meant she knew something was up and today she ripped him a new one as usual, but he couldn’t be bothered to listen to her reasoning, already knowing the truth. He wished the truth didn’t hurt, that denial could be easier but it wasn’t. 

He spent his days forcing himself into work to not let his mind get too caught in silence because he couldn’t stop thinking about you and what you were doing in the small moments of your days away from him. It was only at night right before he closed his eyes he thought of you and him, the moments you shared together. 

“Tommy what are you doing, put me down!” You laugh as he spins you around in his arms.

“I have good news, you’re the first I'm sharing with!” He says with a wide grin, as he places you back on the ground. 

“What’s the good news Tommy?” You cheer, just as excited as him. 

“I got the betting license needed and I'll be able to expand to own a club in London. My plan is working out great so far.” 

“That’s excellent news Tom. I’m proud of you and know your family will be glad as well.”

“To celebrate, I got you something.” He pulls out a small black rectangle box placing it into your open palms. You open the box, to reveal a three stone diamond pendant necklace. It was the first of many moments where he would leave you speechless in a good way and gift you in a sweet way.  

“Thank you so much Tommy. You didn’t have to do this. I should be the one surprising you with a gift. I love it so much, I'm never going to take this off. “ You kiss him sweetly and allow him to put it around your neck.

“You’re my girl, you’re a gift enough to me daily (Y/N).” 

I wonder why I'm so afraid

Of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint

“I love you Tommy.” You spoke the next morning naked limbs entangled in another as your forehead rested against his collar bones, fingers tracing circles into his milky skin. Those words had been on your mind a lot the past few weeks. You were afraid to say them, to leave yourself open to being hurt. 

The closer you grew to him as staying the night more at his house and even slowly leaving a few of your things there. You knew it was him that made your heartbeat skip just a little faster and even when he made it angry or spark with fear due to his dangerous risk taking, he also calmed it like no other. Even though he wasn’t the best with words, when he spoke to you he tried his best and would say the words that seemed to soothe you back to peace. His actions of holding you closer at night or early in the morning or surprise gifts, made you believe it was all worth the risk of saying those three words. Three words that spoke volume, that could grow or crush you in the small fraction of a second. He was worth the risk. 

When he heard you say those words, it’s like a knife pierced his heart. A heart that already knew death and heartache. A heart that was on the mend, but still wounded. The words you spoke stroked fear inside of him. A man able to strategize, control men, and kill his enemies was afraid to love. He didn’t want to mess this up or say something wrong, even in this moment.

Those words were real, the emotions were real, and that what was happening between the two of you was real. It wasn’t a game or dream, but a connection. A connection he didn’t want to end or break. He knew he wasn’t a saint and surely he was going to Hell, but with you in his arms, he felt whole, felt holy. 

He did what he did best and shoved his emotions down. He didn’t say anything because he knew you weren’t expecting him too. The best he could do was offer a small smile and a peck on the lips as he held you closer to his chest, afraid that time and his feelings would catch up with him.  

I wonder, when I cry into my hands

I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man

He wasn’t one for deep emotions, because it made him feel less than a man but with you he could be vulnerable. He could fully be himself and you drew that out of him slowly at first. 

You tell he was angry by the slam of the front door, soon followed by the slam of his office door. Both shaking the house into silence and then the chatter continued like it was a normal occurrence. You knew not to bother him right now, deciding to let him cool down for a bit before going to see what was wrong. 

You waited an hour before knocking, making your entrance known with a hot cup of tea and a plate of dinner on a tray. The scene in front of your eyes almost shocks you, but you handle it by addressing it head on.

“Tommy what’s wrong?” You speak in a soft whisper setting the tray on his desk, as he furiously wipes his wet eyes. 

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine. It’s all fucking fine!” He huffs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to will the tears away. You take a sit across from him in the empty chair allowing him to have his space, never seeing him this upset before. 

“Everything’s not fine. You’re angry and upset, upset enough that you’re crying. If you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you. I’ll be here to listen.” You speak biting your lip out of nervousness of wondering if you pushed him too far. 

“Men aren’t supposed to cry, crying is weak! It serves no purpose.” He swallows the last bit of the glass of whiskey he’s been nursing next to the half filled bottle. His eyes still don’t meet yours. 

You finally come around to his chair to sit in his lap, forcing his eyes to meet yours. 

“That’s a lie because everyone cries. Crying isn’t weak, it’s a normal human emotion. It actually does you some good. I sometimes feel better after I cry and sometimes when I’m crying with the right person, it makes me feel even better than when I’m crying alone. I promise, I won’t think less of you if you cry. You don’t have to be strong all the time and hold all your emotions in. It’s okay to let it all out.”

You press a kiss to his forehead, knowing this man wouldn’t let you easily but you would open your arms wide enough to let him know you were a safe place, that you could be his safe place, his safe haven from all of the things going on in his world and mind. That much he appreciated and would hold on too, even if he couldn’t fully express himself emotionally yet. 

And I wonder if someday you'll be by my side

And tell me that the world will end up alright

You were sitting in your living room reading when you heard a knock at the door. You move swiftly to see who it could be at this late hour, having a feeling but pushing it to the back of your mind. It was only a week since you last heard and saw of him. You brace yourself for when you open the door, to come in contact with his tall and pale figure, standing in your doorway. His blue eyes had bags underneath them and his face was stone cold. 

“Can I please talk with you?” He asks.

“Now you have words to say, a week later. You seemed okay, not saying anything when we had words in your office!” You huff with anger, crossing your arms as you both stood in the doorway, cold air, nipping at you both, almost colder than the air between you two. 

“It will only take two minutes. If you want me to go after that then I’ll leave. I promise.”

 “Go on.” 

“I’m sorry for being daft and hurting your feelings. It was wrong of me. I’ve only been avoiding you because I love you. I was afraid of letting you get close because I know I’m not good enough for you and that you can do better. I’m selfish because I want you to choose me even if I'm not the best option for you.

 I’m plagued by darkness, but you’re the light that shines through. Even from the day we first met, I knew there was something special about you. I’m not ready to lose that, lose you, by letting fear control my heart. I will never be perfect, as good, and will always be in the head of danger, but I do promise to try my best to be the best I can be, if you will still have me? I really do love you (Y/N), even if it’s taken me this long to realize it.”

You can see the redness of his cheeks and the wetness pooling in his eyes as he makes his declaration to you. You can still feel that familiar sting of heartache from the week earlier, but you also feel the warmth of the love you have shared for him inside the depth of your inner being. There will never be love without heartache and making those hard decisions of staying or walking away. 

“Tommy you’re enough for me. I see the darkness and the danger, but I see the good in you. You need to start seeing it as well. If I had to choose you over anyone else, I would choose you time and time again because I love you Thomas Shelby, and only you. You have my heart and you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m still hurt by your words and actions, and if it happens I will leave. So don’t mess up. We’re a team and we both have things we can work on together because no one’s perfect.” You speak with seriousness in your tone but also warmth and love. 

 “Thank you.” Is all he speaks as his cold fingers find your cheeks and your ice lips touch soon becoming warm in his embrace. You let him into your home to warm up and have a cup of tea. Spending the remainder of the evening reading a poetry book you both enjoy, taking turns reading pages to each other, enjoying being in the embrace of another again.  

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

He no longer had to wonder about your love, finally allowing himself to fall into you. To trust you fully and to let the walls surrounding him and his heart come down, knowing you were going to be worth it. 

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