#wanna take my brain out my skull and erase it like that one scene from spongebob

[gregmarriage]

truly feel like i only post random bullshit and then leave for six months imaoooo

[skelanonymous]

Song Prompt 4 -  You Don’t Know Me

I’m trying my hand at some bad guy poly, and if I get to my Little Night AU, this may become a prequel of sorts.

Song: You Don’t Know Me by Elizabeth Gillies

Skeleton: Nightmare

Words: 3.2k

“Boss, you can’t be serious right now.” Killer’s mouth hung open. Dust sighed off to his left, rubbing his face hard enough to shake dust from his hood. Horror wouldn’t meet his eyes, Cross also nervously avoiding them, leaving Error the only one still looking, albeit with some exasperation.

“I’m very serious.” Night responded to Killer without bending. “This is not something I’d like to be a part of.”

“If that’s the reason, cuz you don’t wanna, then that’s fine. But that sounds like a crock and I ain’t one for bullshit.” Killer grabbed the end of the table with whitened knuckles. Nightmare could taste the frustration off all of them, but his icy resolution could outlast their mounting agitation. “So just be honest. We can handle whatever you got to say.”

Nightmare looked at his phalanges, faking disdain with ease, unaffected stone face a talent he’d picked up before leaving the tree’s shade.

“I have no reason to lie. I am not willing to join your polyamorous posse.” They’d all been having “sleepovers” for months now, and he’d caught on long before he walked into a dream he wished he could erase. It would’ve been fine had it been Horror or Killer, but Dust was always vigilant and had remembered Nightmare’s brief intrusion the next morning. “I admit, it’s impressive you’ve managed to keep this working between so many of you, and I don’t care what you spend your free time doing, but my time will be spent on other ventures.”

“But in the dream-”

“I’m not a nun, but walking into a dream orgy when you expect something a little more tame and having a reaction isn’t that ridiculous.” Dust’s gaze bore into his skull. He couldn’t crack, not if he was trying to pass off this lie. Keeping calm was critical.

“So that’s it then. No?” Killer just shook his head. Good, please, give up. Nightmare’s feigned nonchalance had held through much worse, but the backlash afterwards would be worse if he broke beneath it.

“It’s a no.” Night stood from the little table he’d been called to like an intervention. “Now I’m returning to my study. Come find me if anything happens to the castle.”

He did NOT run, but he portaled the instant he turned a corner. It dropped him into a forest patch on the edges of this world just before he lost his composure.

“Son of a fucking BITCH!” His tentacles lashed out, splitting apart all the trees in the area with a giant swing. The corruption roared out of his mouth, furious and wild, screaming his voice hoarse. He didn’t give a damn about any of it, just seeing red from the blackened aura that got denser and denser around his body as he raged in nature, a force all on his own.

Of course he wanted to say yes! Envy scorched through his hands, clawing ahead for what it could not reach. Rage he reserved for himself, though saved some for his damned fate, at being too fucked to just be with a person. Even now, not within their embrace, the greed seduced his pitch black soul to have so many loves with which to indulge, having them all pay attention to him, their king, their saviour, they OWED this to him!

“God damn it, NO! Fuck you!” He continued ruining the countryside, rampant as the growth surrounding him.

He couldn’t love them. Not like they wanted, not the way they did each other, forever an outsider to the perfect temptation. He’d tip the balance and break the scales. He would destroy this for them. Slowly, he felt the brain fog raise, the tinges of red outlining everything finally fading away with his energy.

When the colors of the ruined forest fully returned, he directly portaled to his study. Dust was waiting patiently on the desk’s edge.

“The castle couldn’t have had a disaster that quickly.” Nightmare sat at his desk without acknowledging he’d been caught moping outside. Damn his perceptiveness when not distracted.

“I mean, it did.” Dust stated in a matter of fact tone. “They’re unhappy with the answer.”

“And what? You’re here to force me to change it?” Lashing out was what he excelled at. He wasn’t meant for soft cuddle puddles and doting, his body literal poison to those around him, his aura a drain. Dust didn’t bite.

“No. It wouldn’t be honest if it was forced.” He spoke airily, as if admitting the blatant truth could be anything but bitter disaster.

“Then why have you come to my study?” Nightmare hoped he’d rise to the bait that time, more direct in his aggression, and Dust would meet and rise to it most days, but besides twitching a few times, he holds his sanity at the low blow.

“To remind you. I know what I saw, and you know what I saw.” Dust didn’t leave room for argument and Nightmare didn’t lie about it out of respect. “Just know that the door is open should you change your mind.”

“Thank you, but my answer remains the same.” Damn him. Each denial took away more of his resistance. Perhaps he knew that, persistence hunting him with a strong will borne of the endless loops that forged most of his loyal following, waiting until one day he asked over something inconsequential like breakfast for the yes to slip out without Nightmare even on guard enough to catch it.

“Whatever you say Boss.” Dust nodded, but those eyes haunted him. He hadn’t heard the last of this, but the tide would ebb for now.

Nightmare fell back into the plush chair tiredly, already awaiting the next wave.

He knew what he wanted, but he could not obtain it. If he acted on his wishes, he’d destroy what he sought. And if he denied it, he’d be acting against his natural state while forcing himself to be miserable. There wasn’t a way to win that he could conceive of so he settled with ignoring the feeling entirely.

Despite his refusal, they didn’t change their interactions with him in the slightest after that first day.

Meal times remained largely unchanged except for the stolen glances at him if he betrayed any affection or laughed (which wasn’t often, but they were his crew and knew his weaknesses). Missions and responses to commands had also remained the same, though that was expected. They still offered him the opportunity to join in on movie nights. He had refused all of those since the rejection.

Maybe it was the way Horror had frowned when he’d said no for the fifth time in a row that changed his mind. Ignoring feelings didn’t make them disappear and he’d always been a little softer for Horror’s requests. He only asked for what he considered essential.

“Let me finish this. I’ll be down in five minutes.” Tidying up his papers took seconds, but he needed the minutes for composure.

When he made it down, Horror had curled up into Error’s lap with a gigantic grin, Error softly praising him with small head pets. The others waved at him.

“Hey Boss! Sorry, we let Cross pick this time.” The ‘we didn’t think you’d say yes’ was implied. Nightmare nodded at Killer while moving to sit on the couch against the wall.

“I can live with choosing next time.” The little bursts of joy hit him like a face full of air freshener, his sludge rippling but otherwise unaffected. They’d popped in the DVD and set up before flicking off the lights.

Nightmare watched intently for the first fifteen minutes, he’d never seen it before, then looked around.

The group had paired off into cuddly duos, Killer and Cross, Horror and Error, leaving a lonely Dust seated by Nightmare. From here, he could feel Dust’s cold longing, wanting to join in like the others but knowing his only possible partner would refuse him. The movie was loud, the others absorbed in it or each other and not even able to see them from where they sat. Nightmare laid a tentative tentacle over Dust’s shoulder. He refused to speak a word, merely moving his arm for Dust to accept or not.

His dual colored eyes dilated before quietly shuffling over. Leaning in, he pressed himself along Night’s side with a little wiggle to get cozy.

From this angle, Dust’s ears within an inch of his mouth, he spoke softly.

“Is this okay?” He didn’t know what he felt like to others. Dust hummed so low that Night could only feel it.

“Yeah.” His right eye twitched, Papyrus must’ve said something. “What are those weird swords called?” Night’s eyes flicked up to the screen.

“A flamberge sword. It’s mostly used to counter others by-” Nightmare went into its varied history, a few famous wielders, its construction. They kept their eyes on the film, and Nightmare whispered it to Dust, like a secret history lesson while some cheesy dramatic scene full of loud music drowned out the rest. By the time he’d stopped, Dust comfortably leaned fully against him. His head had come into contact with the corner of Night’s mouth without ceremony, suddenly making Night aware of his proximity.

“You’ve read a lot.” Dust turned his head, now his teeth only a breath away. Nightmare couldn’t take his eyes off of them.

“Books were all I possessed before…” His eye roamed over the group before returning to the gentle intensity building in the centimeter between their teeth. “Dust…”

“You can have this Boss.” Dust’s soul pulsed with determination, Night washed over in its warm waters. “I know how much you wanted it.” His red and blue eyes dropped to Night’s teeth, hovering with hot breath, half-lidded in need. “Just take it Nightmare.”

The touch of their mouths made Night’s own soul explode in the rush of desire that blazed into an inferno at the smallest sprig of kindling.  His tongue begged for entrance before he could think the action through, Dust letting it in without hesitation, shaky hands dug into Night’s sweater. The loud movie covered the quiet wet sounds, Night’s tentacles shifting silently to cradle Dust as he devoured all he was offered.

His soul lurched when he pulled back; he wanted to consume Dust but the rational part of his brain managed to catch him before he dove back.

“Hah. Nightmare, come back.” Dust’s hands had fisted in Night’s sweater tight enough to tear. Nightmare ignored it to squeeze his eye shut, trying to breathe through the mounting urge to take Dust apart, piece by piece, in view of the others, damn their relationship, he’d take ANY of them whenever HE wanted.

“Stop.” He said it at normal volume, shouting compared to the hushed exchange before. It drew the attention of the others. “I can’t.”

“Why?” Nightmare hadn’t opened his eye to see, but he could hear how hurt Dust sounded, hands trembling where they still balled in each other’s clothes. His normally distracted voice spoke firmly. “Tell me why.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. You just won’t. Tell me why.” Dust shook his head to dislodge Papyrus, ringing in crystal clear. It struck his soul, shattering the thin barrier holding back his honesty, unable to hold onto thoughts while containing the rot of his corruption from spilling over and swallowing them whole.

“I will devour you. All of you.” His tentacles sought them out, tentative. His vocal cords ached with an involuntary voice drop. “I will fucking ruin this. Your love cannot overcome my nature.” Each appendage curled around their throats, besides Dust, laying in his arms. The eye of the storm, Dust laid there calmly, like Nightmare’s tentacles weren’t threatening to strangle all of his loves in one fell swoop. Nightmare’s sludge dripped off of him, onto the couch, sizzling where it’d dropped onto Dust’s shins. He didn’t flinch.

“You wouldn’t know, you won’t let us try.”

He could feel the others struggling against him, hands sliding on the slick material while his tentacles grew tighter.

“I’LL KILL YOU!” Night growled, his own fingers clamping down on Dust’s neck, pressing down on the bone hard enough to creak underneath them. “I’ll take what I want and dust the rest!”

“Then do it.” Dust met his eyes unafraid. He relaxed into the hold, even as Night’s hands got ever tighter.

The corruption buffeted the inside of his skull, whirlwind of thoughts and crazed emotion, fed by the slow building terror of the others, their struggles more and more frantic the longer his tentacles gripped them. The only exception was Dust. His eyes had slid shut, limp and relaxed in his hands. Nightmare didn’t realize how out of control it’d gotten until he heard the crack.

Nightmare released Dust instantly, hands struggling with the healing magic Nightmare was trying to force through the agitated sludge.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Night didn’t stop trembling until he felt Dust touch his wrists. The splashes of cyan across Dust’s calm smile startled him out of everything, tentacles dropping the others to curl in on himself. With a deep breath, the magic flowed more evenly, in control of this at the very least. The crack slowly wove together until only a scar remained. Nightmare avoided the gazes of the others he could feel staring him down, caught unaware by Dust pulling on his wrists, falling directly onto Dust’s chest, face onto his shoulder, forced to stare at his own mistake.

“Just relax…” Dust’s head rested atop his own. He felt the skilled hands slide into the crevices between his tentacles, pressing and rubbing away the tight balls of tension until he finally let them all go.

“How did he do that?” Cross whispered from the side.

“Hell if I know.” Killer sounded close as well, shuffling from just beyond his vision.

“Patience.” Dust’s fingers pressed down to unwind the stress of his back, though not the sins crawling there. Nightmare shifted to lay in a way that he could see off the couch. The others watched them from the floor with wide eyes. He sighed, tracing Dust’s sternum during inhales.

“I could have killed you.”

“You wouldn’t have.” Dust’s faith never wavered, the others radiated guilt. Nightmare averted his gaze.

“I’m still sorry.”

“Then make it up to me.” Nightmare sat up, resting his hands on Dust’s chest for leverage, ending up sitting on his lap before taking the hands that had fallen off his back. He pulled Dust up to match him.

“How?” Night blushed under Dust’s intense observing, relaxing at the gentle clank he got in exchange. It sent a tremor through his spine.

“Answer us honestly.” Dust’s skull twitched against him, tranquil determination a temporary state at best. He kissed Night softly over and over again, plying at his defenses with the promise of what this could be, curiosity over how they worked together. Dust wasn’t alone in this after all. “Do you want us?” The shuffling of knees hit his ears; the others had moved closer to hear him, their hearts glowing with so much hope and positivity it almost hurt to bear. Night’s voice broke under its weight.

“...yes…” The next kiss was triumphant, his face cradled close while he submitted to Dust’s tongue. Dust broke them apart, Night too dazed to see, his hands reaching out to pull his partner back.

The taste changed, the tonguework different, enthusiastic all the same. The hand on his cheek this time larger, he felt a thumb stroke across the line beneath his ruined eye. The name was out before he saw them.

“Cross.” Behind, someone had made a home amongst his tentacles, a back against his. “That’s unusually bold of you.” His eye trailed over the purple flush with an amused grin. He didn’t let the building anxiety pool in the poor guardsman, grabbing the collar of his jacket to kiss him again while his tentacles wound around his other ‘attacker.’ Killer’s groans drifted to his ears.

“Fuck Nightmare, didn’t think you’d get so handsy so fast.” The back of his skull tapped Night’s. Tentacles had wound up Killer’s legs to hold them still, a third binding around his chest to keep him pinned. The fourth explored his upper femurs, pressing over his shorts to his pelvis, Killer’s gasps music to his ears. He pulled back from Cross with a smirk.

“You seemed like you’d be into it.” Killer nodded against his back, but Cross also nodded in front of him, eyelights blown wide with Night’s taste in his mouth and his hands on his chin, wiping away the line of purple saliva from that last messy kiss.

Horror leaned against his leg from the floor. Night dropped a hand to rub against his skull, avoiding the large crack without seeing, knowing the location by memory alone.

“Thanks.” Horror purred from the ground, head falling more heavily in his lap.

Sitting on Dust, Killer against his back, Horror in his lap, and Cross leaning over to kiss him and Dust equally brought his soul peace. Error hadn’t joined, but Nightmare would’ve been more surprised if he had.

“I-I’m sure y-you know my stance on t-t-touching by now.” Error had his arms crossed, body still pixelated near his neck from the impromptu strangling earlier.

“Except Horror. He deals with Horror’s touches the best out of all of us.” Cross removed himself from the pile to offer his hand. Error glared at the TV, but took it anyway. “Most of us have gotten to hand holding though!” Cross’s enthusiasm turned Error blue.

“S-shut up…” He offered his other hand for Cross to take as well, even Error unable to contain his smile at Cross’s joy and attention.

It was laughably easy, Nightmare slotted into the dynamic with ease, an extension of their regular back and forths but sweeter, tinged with something warm. The loud voice in his mind still craved more but he could fight it off for now. Nightmare took a deep breath.

“I’m...still concerned, about everything, but I…” They waited for him to collect his thoughts. “If you’ll have me anyway, then I’ll give it all I have.”

“That’s all we can ask.” Dust smiled while Horror hummed his agreement.

“Hell, that’s what we’re doing too. You, aaaah, ain’t special.” Killer’s body writhed against him. His tentacles hadn’t been distracted by the moment, steadily edging Killer into whining pants, shorts wet against his appendage and thrusting back against it. Night raised him up to hold him solidly between himself and Dust.

“You know, this does offer many new opportunities to shut you up.” His black bones traced the rim of Killer’s pelvis peeking out over the waistband. Killer cursed when Dust leaned forward against Killer’s back, circling to the front to tease his lower sternum, finger peeking inside of his rib cage.

“None of them work. Trust me, we’ve tried.” Dust hid his smirk against Killer’s back, playfully nipping through the hoodie, shaking against the charged bones.

“Fuck you guys.” Night met Dust’s dual-tone gaze one more time. Hesitant to accept and run forward with them still. But Dust took his hand to bring it with him into Killer’s body, wrapping them both around his spine to a moan. They’d help and guide him, he need only ask for it, and with that, he laughed.

“Maybe we will.”

-

I’m very happy to have this out of my WIP folder.

[star-spangledstud]

MIND GAMES - TWO

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve suggests dinner with the team. You find out you hate lying. 

Warnings: angst, mentions of violence, anxiety 

Note: Wanna be tagged in future chapters? Shoot me a message :)

SERIES MASTERLIST.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER.

A hail of half-empty wine glasses, trail mix and playing cards fly around the room when the coffee table they were stood on is flipped upside down. Your back hits the carpet with a dull thud, followed soon after by the back of your head. You wince loudly, hand reaching immediately for the base of your skull to relieve the throbbing pain that will no doubt leave you with a menacing headache for days to come.

The men in black, whose faces are nothing but a swirl of flesh tones in your peripheral, grab you by each ankle while you try to recover from your fall. They shout in a foreign language as glass shatters somewhere in one of the other rooms. Then, the sound of open gunfire and the scent of smoke and gunpowder pervade the air. You’re screaming, kicking your feet and flailing your arms wildly while they drag you along the floor, but the sound of your voice is drowned out by the shouting and the guns.

Glass and trailmix accumulate in your hair when they drag you across the room, and small pieces cut the back of your arms and legs. You’re crying, you can tell because your cheeks are warm and wet, and the tears flowing from your eyes mix with the blood of your dead family as they run down the length of your face.

The good thing is you know you’re having a bad dream, but the problem is that you’ve seen this scene unfold so many times that you’re not sure whether the memory of what happened is real or not. 

You’ve seen the scene play out well over one hundred times in your sleep. Red liquid flies through the air in slow motion, your assailants shove their weapons in your face, you try to run away but feel nailed to the ground. You’ve experienced it so many times, and have attempted to change what happens in so many instances. Still, whatever you do, the ending is always the same.

The faces of the men responsible for the murder of your family are blurry, not because you hit your head so hard you can’t see straight, but because you don’t remember what they look like. Their features are warped beyond recognition, and no matter how hard you try to focus on the words spilling from their mouths, you can’t identify any of what they’re saying. It almost sounds like you’re underwater.

In the dream, you try to remember where you are, but your immediate surroundings change every time. Sometimes the coffee table is glass, sometimes it’s wood. The wallpaper shows a different pattern each time you look at it, and the dead bodies scattered all around the room have the same undefined features as your assailants. The only thing that remains the same is the feeling of absolute hopelessness and terror as they drag you away to an unmarked aeroplane that takes you somewhere in Eastern Europe. 

Poland, maybe. You can’t remember, even though you came to spend the next seven years of your life there.

Nearly every one of these dreams is the same. It’s just you, watching scenes of your life unfold through a thick curtain of smoke that hides the most distinct, essential details. A large, gaping black hole has been punched through the part of your brain responsible for the production of memories. No matter how hard you try to fill in the blank spaces, it proves to be absolutely impossible. 

Whatever HYDRA did to erase your memories, it worked.

It’s hard to think straight when you wake up in the middle of the night, images of the dream you just had still playing before your eyes. You hoped that getting further away from the people that created those dreadful memories would allow the pictures to go away. Yet, as you sit up straight in bed, chest heaving up and down in rapid motions, you know they followed you even here, like a thundercloud continuously looming over you.

As your first week in the compound comes to a close, you find yourself slowly getting settled into your new home. With Steve practically following you around every chance he gets, the two of you take the time exploring the entire building from top to bottom. He shows you the library, the garage, the gym and the lab, and promises to take you to the theatre the next time the team hosts a movie night. 

You don’t tell him you haven’t seen a single movie in years, but the words are on the tip of your tongue while he rattles on about 21st century flicks he was forced to watch and ended up really loving.

When the two of you walk along the corridors of the compound, it’s mostly him who talks while you do the listening. You don’t mind it. It gives you time to think. While he speaks, you find yourself trying to dissect the inside of his mind. Still, no matter how hard you listen, all that comes up is silence. It’s odd not to be distracted by a second voice in your head. You’re not used to the simplicity of not having to focus on what’s coming from the other person’s mouth instead of what’s coming from their thoughts.

Each day that passes, Steve introduces you to a new member of the team. The first person you come across is Sam Wilson, who you find running on the treadmill two days after your arrival. He immediately takes a liking to you, and you end up chatting for nearly an hour straight. His thoughts are almost deafening, but his sense of humour makes up for his internal volume.

By the time Saturday rolls around, you find yourself able to chat comfortably with everyone you’ve met so far. Even Tony Stark, who appears at first to be quite wary of your presence despite giving you a place to stay, engages in conversation with you over a cup of black coffee. It’s relatively easy to befriend people when you can see straight through them, especially when they aren’t aware of your abilities.

Still, it’s odd how easily all of them have accepted you into their little bubble.

“Are you okay?”

Unease blooms in the pit of your stomach when you realize you’ve been quiet for nearly fifteen minutes, and your palms instantly begin to sweat.

“Yeah,” you quickly conjure up a smile, “just thinking.”

“About what? If you don’t mind me asking,” Steve asks softly.

“I don’t know,” you tell him truthfully, “I feel like this is all very weird.”

Sam raises a brow, “What do you mean?”

“You guys don’t even really know me,” you remind him, “and you’re giving me shelter. I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around all of this.”

“We’ve read your file,” Steve bites his lower lip, “letting you in was a collective decision, made by all of us.”

Sam nods in agreement, arms crossed tight over his chest. 

Wondering what exactly is written in this so-called file, you chuckle dryly, “no offence guys, but I think that file might be missing a few important details.”

Steve blushes, “a lot of it was blacked out. Look, maybe we should all come together tonight, have dinner or something. You can tell us more about yourself if you want.”

“Yeah,” Sam exclaims, “good idea, cap.” 

Your heart picks up, pushing your pulse while you slowly nod your head, “sure.”

“Great,” Steve steps towards his own room and places his palm on the fingerprint scanner, “we’ll let everybody know.”

Sam turns around and heads for his own room. You quickly disappear into the safety of your bedroom and slam the door shut a little too hard in the process.

“Crap,” you mutter to yourself, “fuck!”

You are not looking forward to this.

“What do you mean, you’ve never heard of Asgard?!” 

Thor’s voice booms over the sound of clinking cutlery and laughter. You slowly lift your shoulders before taking a large sip of water, allowing the cold beverage to relieve the tension in the back of your throat. 

It’s hard to keep all the buzzing internal monologues in the back of your mind, and it takes a moment for you to center yourself before you can answer Thor’s burning question. 

“I’m sorry,” you say quickly, “I just never had a chance to read up on Norse mythology. Please forgive me. I’m sure it’s a beautiful place.” 

It is beautiful, Thor pouts, I miss it. 

“I’m sure you miss it very much,” you add quickly, to which he smiles sadly. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Tony smirks, “he has a big ego and a tiny brain.”

You nearly choke on your water when he winks in your direction. You roll your shoulders to rid yourself of the tension building in your muscles and prepare yourself for the direction the conversation is headed next. 

“So, Y/N,” Tony continues, “how do you know Fury?” 

Of course you knew he was going to ask this. He’s been thinking about it for the last fifteen minutes. Still, heat rises to your cheeks when you place your glass down, and you push a few stray strands of hair from your face and tuck them behind your ear. Your heart is pounding now, but in a room full of enhanced people, including some of the world’s best spies, you know better than to allow yourself to freak out.

Steve, who’s seated right next to you, shifts in his seat. The action, albeit hardly noticeable, startles you anyway, and your eyes fly in his direction out of reflex. You think he looks nice, dressed in a cream colored sweater with his hair swooped to one side, and in a fit of insanity, you’re tempted to compliment him and ignore Tony all together. 

“I don’t actually,” you say slowly, “My mom did, before she passed away. They knew each other before SHIELD was even a thing, when they were still young.” 

“So how’d you get his number?” Clint questions. 

“My mom gave it to me be before she died, told me to call it if I ever needed help.” 

“What’d you need help for?” he continues. 

“Clint, that’s enough-” Steve says before you can answer. 

“No, it’s okay,” you gently touch his arm, “my family got caught up with the wrong people a long time ago. Since the death of my mother tensions have only gotten worse. Fury offered me a place to stay while I wait for things to settle down.”

“What kind of people?” Natasha asks while she lays her fork down. 

“I think Fury can tell you more about that than I can,” you take a bite of your potatoes, “my mom did her best to shelter me.”

Your gaze flies back and forth between Natasha and Steve, and you begin to pray that she out of everyone at this table believes your story. You’re hyper aware of every move you make, and the tension in the air is almost too much for you to bear.

The crease between Steve’s brows and his hunched shoulders make you more uncomfortable. You read the room to make sure they believe you, before picking up your glass and taking another sip of water. Slowly, the conversation dies down, and you’re left with shallow breathing and red cheeks by the time Tony and Sam begin a discussion about a video game they were playing last night. 

“Are you okay?”

Steve’s voice is soft in your ear. The unmistakable hint of concern is evident in its tone when it breaks through your thoughts, and you quickly nod as to not alarm him any further.

When you walk back to your room later that evening,  you can’t ignore the painful twist in your stomach. Your hands are tightened into fists by the time you enter your dorm, and the need to swallow away the lump in your throat is nearly overbearing. You could never tell them you used to work for HYDRA, not in a million years. They would cast you out immediately, send your ass to the curb or lock you away in a federal prison for the rest of your life before they’d let you get away with it.

You didn’t think lying to people you hardly know could hurt this much. 

NEXT CHAPTER.

Taglist:

@foxyjwls007​ @littlegasps​ @hurricane-abigail​ @idk123906​

[ddaengyoonmin]

-Blind To Love-

Pairing: Dom!Hoseok x Virgin!Reader. (Slightly but not really much) Taehyung x Reader

Genre: ANGST (Like really angsty), Smut, A bit of Fluff at the end.  Author also tried for humor a few times and may have failed lmao

Warnings: Oral (Female receiving); Masturbation (Male); Descriptions of Cheating; Losing Virginity; Unprotected sex; Alcohol intoxication; Mentions of being taken advantage of while intoxicated.

Songs I listened to a lot while writing: - Wicked Games- The Weekend ; Kiss land-The Weekend; Friends of friends- Manila Grey; Hurt-Oliver Tree

Word Count: 13.5k

A/N: This is my first time writing a full sex scene. Not totally sure if it was a success but we’ll see lol Let me know what you guys think! I had fun writing this.  This was based on a short drabble I had done in my ‘talking between kisses reaction set’

A Blind date your best friend set you up on goes from amazing to horrible.  Yet neither of you can get the other off your mind.  Maybe there really was something there...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn’t think moving on would be easy.  Especially not as easy as your best friend Ashley was making it sound.

It had been a month since it happened.  The love of your life, you’d been with since high school had decided his was fed up with your idea of waiting to have sex with him.  You’d fought about it many times but usually it would end with his temper simmering down and him sighing an ‘I still love you y/n, I just don’t know how much longer I can wait’

You really didn’t have a good reason of why you hadn’t had sex yet, it just never seemed like the right time, something always ended up feeling off once you were close to it and you’d chicken out.  

Once you’d even screamed a “Nevermind!” Right before Jackson was about to put it in.  He was less than pleased about that, and didn’t talk to you for about a week.  You felt like shit about it but you had gotten too nervous.  You loved Jackson.  You really did.  But the vibes were always off, and you were the type of person who liked to trust your gut about things like this.

A month ago, you’d gone over to his house to surprise him with some delicious cookies you’d just baked and a dvd rental for an impromptu date night, knowing he also had the night off.  You had a spare key to his place so you let yourself in and yelled out “I brought your favorites, Me, some cookies and a…” you were cut off by a loud moan.  Wondering if he was watching porn you, giggled.   It wasn’t the first time you’d walked in on him, you went to his room to swing open the door with a joking “Caught ya!”

You weren’t expecting the disgusting sight you saw.  You sure did catch him.  On his bed, balls deep in a cute skinny brunette wearing a cheerleaders outfit.  Your jaw dropped and you wished you could unsee what you were seeing.  He was positioned with her on top rocking her hips against him squealing with pleasure.  

The worst of it all, the memory that was still stuck in your head, was when he saw you standing there.  He looked right at you, no remorse on his face, no surprise, and he just shrugged.  Almost as if to say ‘what’d you expect’ . You ran out of the room, out of that house, dropping the cookies on the floor as you left, eyes burning and tears pouring down your face.  

That was the last time you’d seen him, and you never wanted to see him again.  It had broken you.  For about a week you were a complete mess, you called in sick to work, faking the flu and just sat in your room tearing up every picture of him.  Trying your hardest to tear apart every memory from your brain with them.  

Now it was easier to bear, but you couldn’t help feeling like if you had only put out...if you had only let him, maybe he wouldn’t have had to go get it from someone else.

“That’s bullshit, he’s just a pig and probably would’ve done it anyways.” Your best friend Ashley remarked as she pushed a large chip into her mouth.  You had just told her of that theory and she was not putting up with it.  “He wasn’t entitled to anything y/n. You should be grateful you didn’t sleep with that asshole”

You bent your head down, frowning, “I guess”

“You need a good rebound” she said, shoveling down more chips.

“I do not! And be careful. You are getting crumbs all over my bed” You whined.

This was a regular night for the two of you, laying in your bed binge watching your favorite tv shows together on the tv that hung on your bedroom wall.

“You may not think you do, but trust me, it would help! Just a nice guy to take your V card so you can finally let out some of that bottled up stress” She smirked, messily crunching a chip just to tick you off.

“So it’s good I didn’t have sex with the man I was with for years, but you approve of a one night stand?

Ashley turned to you, eyes narrowing, she put a hand on either side of your face and held you so you’d look her in the eye “Exactly! Jackson, was awful, what he did was awful.  I never liked him.  You’re too good for him.  But you have neglected that puss girl.  Find a nice guy, and fuck him, and you’ll feel better.”

Your eyes bugged out of your skull and you slapped her hands away “Puss?! Puss Ashley?? Really??” you were laughing so hard tears started to form in your eyes, and she rolled into you cracking up just as hard.

Once you’d just about peed your pants you calmed yourself down, wiping your tears from the corners of your eyes.

“Seokjin has a friend I could set you up with you know.  He just came back into town after being gone for a long time. ” she suggested in a serious tone.  You considered for a moment.  Her boyfriend Seokjin was a really nice guy, him and Ashley had been together almost a year now, and you’d never seen her more happy.  Yet, just because this guy was a friend of his didn’t insure that he would be a decent guy as well.  Plus the idea of going on a date just to ‘get some’ was so not your style.

You shrugged, “I just don’t think I’m ready Ash”

She sighed in defeat.  “I just don’t see the harm in trying”

You put your hands over your face and quietly groaned “Fine fine fine fine”

Her eyes lit up, “Really??” She immediately got out her phone and started texting.

“Shit Ash, right away?”

“Yep!” She grinned and set her phone back down on the bed.  “I just texted Jin to set it up with his friend.  I thought you guys would be cute together when I met him the other day. He’s quite the gentleman, and I think you guys will really hit it off”

“Great, can we watch the show now?” you groaned

Ashley cuddled up next to you to watch the tv, mouth pulled into a wide grin due to her victory.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were in your bathroom putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup before heading out.  Ashley had set the date up but didn’t tell you more than the guy’s name, she didn’t even let you see a picture of him.  “It’ll be more exciting that way! He hasn’t seen you either.  Just make sure you get him home after and take care of your little issue there” She had giggled and winked when telling you.

You had sighed and told her you still weren’t sure about it, and that you’d probably chicken out about the sex part.

But, you did think it was a good idea to go on a date and get out there again, you hadn’t fully gotten your ex off your mind and she was right that this might be a good distraction and way to get erase some of those feelings you were still clinging on to.

You had opted for a tight, short red dress with spaghetti straps that exposed your back quite a bit.  You figured that even if you decided not to try and have sex tonight it wouldn’t hurt to try and increase the chances that you could by wearing something appealing.

The taxi you had called takes you to the Italian restaurant you had been told to meet the man at.  Hoseok was his name, and besides Ash’s reassurances that he was a really nice guy, that was all you knew about him, you wondered if Ash had played up his niceness due to the fact that his looks were, in the nicest words...lacking.  Not that you were totally superficial but a pretty face definitely doesn’t hurt, especially if you end up following through with hooking up with him as Ashley insisted you should.  As you were walking into the restaurant you texted him to say you were there, he had gotten your number the night before from Seokjin so that you two could set up a time and place.  

Text From Hoseok: Hey, sorry I’m running a few minutes late, would you mind getting a table for us? I’ll be there soon

You got yourself seated at a table for two, informing the hostess another would be joining you soon.  You were brought waters and menus.  You were taking a large sip of water when a tall, jaw droppingly attractive man approached your table, “Are you Y/N?”  He asked, his voice deep and smooth.  Your eyes grew as wide as saucers at his breathtaking presence.  You almost spit all of the water you still held in your mouth onto the table, trying to save yourself from that embarrassment you swallowed it all in one big gulp, not helping save you from any embarrassment as that action caused you to start choking and coughing.

 You covered your mouth an nodded at him, appalled at yourself, for your less than ideal first impression.  

He seemed to be amused, settling himself down across from you at the table.  His dark black hair was parted down the center, wavy and styled perfectly, and he was dressed so stylishly with dark black jeans, a v neck shirt and a perfectly fitting burgundy jacket, unbuttoned.   You start to wonder whether he was a model.  You realized how much you were staring and thanked the gods that he was staring at his menu and not you.

“Have you ever been here before?” He breaks the silence and looks up at you with the corner of his mouth pulled into a slight smile.

You shook your head shyly.  

“Me either,” He replies “I do like pasta though, would you wanna each get two different ones and split them 50/50, I can’t make up my mind”

You nod at him slowly.  He’s acting so comfortable with you right away, and you can barely get yourself to form words.  You want to smack yourself in the forehead at your awkwardness with him.

He smiles “Great! We should try the shrimp alfredo, and the cream tomato and beef pasta if that sounds good to you?” He cutely cocked his head slightly to the side at his question, eyes making confident contact with yours.

You nod again, words still struggled to come out of your lips.

Hoseok chuckled “Are you always this quiet?”

“I-I’m sorry, no, I’m just nervous” You quietly managed to get out

“No need to be nervous sweetheart, you’re in good hands tonight” He winked.

You felt butterflies in your stomach, ‘sweetheart? he really isn’t shy’, you thought to yourself.

The waiter came over to the table and Hoseok ordered for you both, “And a glass of Merlot for the lady here,” he added at the end.  

“Wait what, why?” You stuttered

He laughed with a flirtatious smirk “Because, you need to loosen up a little sweetheart”

There was that sweetheart again, and the butterflies in your stomach to go with it.  

While you waited for your food Hoseok didn’t wait long to get in to asking you all about yourself, you answered most of his questions without stuttering over your words too much, telling him about your job, and your family. He listened intently to every answer, nodding his head paying full attention to every detail you gave.

Once the wine reached your table you eagerly grabbed it and chugged about half of it quickly.  Hoseok chuckled at you and shook his head. “Well that should help huh?” He lightly teased.

You managed a small smile “I’m so sorry, I’m not usually so awkward,”

He shrugged, “I think its cute”

Damn, he's not helping by saying things like that.  His charming flirty way of speaking was so effortless, contrasted by your awkward bumbling around so far you don’t see how he could possibly find it cute.  Yet, there was no hint of dishonestly in his voice.  

With one finger he slowly nudged your wine glass closer to you “Finish it” He ordered.

Taken aback by his boldness your eyes widen, but you can’t deny it really would help.  You take the glass to your lips drinking every last drop in the glass.  He smiled and nodded approvingly “Good girl,” He praised.  

You felt your heart flip flop in your chest at his praise.  Shyly looking down to the table.

“So,” you begin “Ashley said you were out of town for a long time and just got back,”

“Right,” He nodded “I was in New York, I stayed there to teach dance for a couple years”

“Wow! New York, that’s pretty far.  So you’re a dancer?”

The rest of the dinner was a lot more relaxed with you both exchanging personal details of your life.  You at one point when he was busy eating snuck a text under the table to Ashley

‘THANKS for not warning me how hot the guy you were setting me up with is.  I literally choked on my water when he walked up to the table’

Her reply was almost instant as if she’d been waiting for some sort of update from you on how it was going ‘Get some’ was all she said.  You rolled your eyes.

“Something up?” Hoseok said curiously, bringing his water to his lips.

“Oh no, just Ashley, checking up on me.  She’s nosy” you muttered.

Hoseok chuckled “She seems great, When I first met her she couldn’t stop talking about you and how much I’d like you if I met you”

“What?” you gasped slightly mortified. “Ugh, like I said she's really nosy, I’m sorry if she pushed you into this”

“Nobody pushes me into anything” He stated firmly “For the record I’m really glad I came, hopefully you are too?” He raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, I am” you smiled shyly at the charming man sitting across from you, his confidence never fading throughout any interaction between the two of you.  You were quite fond of everything about him, his looks and his never faltering aura of relaxedness.

When dinner was over he paid, which you tried to insist he didn’t need to.

“Nonsense” He cut off your reasonings for why you should pay for your half, and slipped his card to the waiter before you could do anything about it.

“Thank you”

“Of course, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t pay for my beautiful date’s meal on our first date”

You blushed at the endearment from him.  Getting up from the table he helped you put your coat that you had brought with you on, holding it while you turned back facing him and put and arm in each sleeve.  

“Shall I walk you to your car?” He offered

“I uh, actually took a taxi here, I forgot to call one to pick me up but I’ll do that now and it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes to get here”

He frowned and shook his head, “No, I’ll drive you home”

“You really don’t have to, I live kinda far from here”

“Which is exactly why I would be a total jerk if I let you pay for another long taxi ride home”

You could tell no wasn’t going to be an answer, and honestly spending more time with him wasn’t a bad idea.  You had decided half way through the meal you weren’t going to try and bring him home, you were already too nervous just talking to him, you couldn’t even imagine how bad you’d be in bed right now.  But the thought still intrigued you, the way his lips looked so soft and welcoming, the way his jacked was unbuttoned in a way that let you see the tight shirt clinging to his muscular chest made your core ache in a way you’d never felt before.

As he drove you home the two of you engaged in more small talk, though you weren’t totally attentive the whole time, your mind still distracted by impure thoughts of the man sitting next to you.  

Once reaching your apartment complex, with a hand on the car door, you turned to say goodbye and were met with his hungry eyes.  He was staring at your lips not letting his eyes leave your face. You could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest.  He slowly leaned in towards you getting only inches from your face, waiting for your permission to lay his lips on yours. ‘Fuck it’ you thought.  You granted him what he was craving because oh how you were craving it too.  

Lunging forward into the kiss and grabbing the back of his neck you as you did.  The kisses were fast and sloppy like two people who were starved.  “Oh my god y/n” He gasped into your mouth “please” he groaned, lips meeting yours again and his tongue starting to lightly flick your bottom lip before pulling away slightly “will you…” he plants a few more quick sloppy kisses on you, then through his pants you could hear... “please, will you invite me to come in with you?”

You hesitated, not because you didn’t want to invite him in, but because you couldn’t believe this was happening, it felt surreal that this godlike man was begging YOU to invite him to your place.  You managed a small nod of your head.  He let out a soft growl planting one last kiss on your lips before pulling into a parking space quickly, and rushing to your side of the car to open the door for you.

It felt like time was moving too slowly as you hand in hand led him to your apartment.  The key couldn’t turn in the lock fast enough, as you felt you would die of anticipation.  This was it, this was the night you would finally lose your virginity, and to HIM?  

Once inside he mumbled “You live alone?” and you confirmed yes you live alone.  Instantly he grabbed you by your waist, pressing every inch of his body against yours, his breathing strained and his eyes lustful as he trailed kisses down your neck and to the top of your chest where the fabric of your dress still hung over your breasts.  He took one of the straps from your dress and slid it down off your shoulder, pleased to see you hadn’t been wearing a bra (As the dress had a built in one, you silently thanked yourself for choosing this attire)  he groaned as he slipped the other strap off of your shoulder as well, giving him full view of your tits.  

“Wow,” he breathed heavily “So perfect” and he cupped one in his hand while bringing his face to the other to plant kisses and then to take your erect bud into his mouth, flicking his tongue against you eliciting a soft moan from your lips, while you ran your hands through his hair as he sucked and teased. He dropped to his knees, pulling your dress down further, now kissing your stomach with soft but needy kisses. He glanced up at you to see your eyes closed and head tilted back in ecstasy.  He smirked and planted another kiss right below your belly button, proud of the state you’re in, proud that he was making you feel that way.  

Hoseok slipped your dress down all the way, leaving you naked and exposed besides the lace black panties still clinging to the part of your body that was so needy for his touch.

He played with the hem of the panties, teasing you until you groaned a “Hoseok, please” At that he gently pressed a finger to your clit over the fabric and slowly drew circles, you let out a soft squeak at the sudden wave of pleasure flooding your body.

Hoseok then suddenly and harshely grabbed the panties and yanked them down to your ankles as if they were offending him, angry that they were in his way.  He smirked up at you only for a split second before diving in to your soaking core.  You could barely stay standing, your knees feeling weak as his tounge playfully licked you, flicking over your clit while he held you from behind your thighs.

“H-Hoseok” you whined,  He continued to hungrily lap up every last bit of wetness that you were giving to him.  Your hands holding his head to you gently, feeling yourself already approaching your high.

Jackson had done this for you once or twice, but never this good, you actually faked your orgasm with him one of the times just to get him to stop.  But this, you never wanted it to stop.

Hoseok could feel you approaching your finnish and he sped up his tongue, the quick figure eight movements to your clit were going to be your undoing.  

“That's it baby, come for me” he muttered into you quickly and sped up even faster than you’d thought was possible.  

“H-hoseok, I-I’m gonna, I’m…” A wave of pleasure crashed around you, you gripped his hair roughly as that lethal tongue continued it’s pace.  You couldn’t help but scream out at the feeling.  He didn’t stop until he was sure you had rode out your high, he then slowed his pace until finally bringing his lips away from you and planting one last kiss to your folds before standing up to face you.

He started to unzip his pants “I’m gonna wreck you princess, you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into now” He smirked darkly.  “You gonna be a good little slut for me? Take my cock in that pussy and obey my every word. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to taste you even though I don’t think you deserved it for wearing such a revealing dress, teasing me the whole dinner.  I wanted to take you from the minute I saw you and I bet every guy in that restaurant did too. I should punish you for that,  Unfortunately I didn’t bring my paddle, I’ll have to make do with what I’ve got here. Better come up with a safeword sweetheart” His face dark and serious as he continued to undress himself.  Your eyes were wide with shock, no one had ever spoken to you like that before, he was right, you didn’t understand what you’d gotten into.  It kind of scared you, and you realized you should inform him that this was your first time...and that you really didn’t even understand this game he wanted to play with you.  It seemed to be a turn on for him to want to punish you, to want to be rough with you.  He wanted a safeword? You didn’t even know what that meant.  You felt embarrassed of your inexperience, part of you didn’t want to tell him, but you also knew he’d probably realize it pretty quickly.

He roughly grabbed your waist about to lead you to the couch and was opening his mouth to to speak, something filthy again you guessed, when you cut him off with “I’m a virgin!” oh shit, you just blurted it, no set up, no beating around the bush.  Not exactly how you meant to say that but you figured maybe he’d just say okay and you’d continue on your merry way to lovemaking.  

However that was not the case.  Hoseok instantly froze. “What” he said softly in monotone.  

“I-I’ve never had sex before, I just figured that was important to know before we...ya know, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood lets just go back to…”

But he was already pulling his pants back up over his now fading erection, zipping them up and shaking his head the whole time.  “I misread this situation, I’m not doing this” He said with some rage in his tone.  “You should’ve said that sooner” He snapped.

“I’m sorry” You stuttered, tears starting to form, mortified at his reaction.

He quickly gathered himself and without even so much as a goodbye was out the door, slamming it on his way out, and that was it, he was gone.  

You stood in shock, not wanting to chase after him after that harsh rejection you’d just recieved.  The tears forming in your eyes were now rolling down your face.  You’d blown it, maybe you shouldn’t have told him.  When you said it, he looked at you with such disgust, it was the most humiliating feeling you’d ever experienced.  There he was, worshiping you between your legs one moment, to glaring at you and rushing out the door like you had the plague the next.  

You ran to your room and collapsed into your bed sobbing into your pillow, still as naked and exposed as he’d left you when he stormed out the door.  You inner thighs still wet with the lingering reminder of the beautiful gift he’d given you. Your sobs grew louder the more you thought on it, everything was going so well, the whole night was perfect and you ruined it.  How could you get your heartbroken by a guy because you wouldn't have sex with him, only to get your heart broken by the next because you hadn’t had sex and wanted to with him.  

Your cries continued all the way until you drifted into sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“HE WHAT?” Ash’s appalled voice screamed into the phone, you had to pull it away from your ear.  

“Yeah...It was going well, but after I told him...It just all went wrong” You said somberly

“I’m gonna kill him if I see him again.  To just leave like that without a goodbye? Without an explanation, especially after you guys had already gotten pretty hot and heavy together.  I can’t believe anyone would have the nerve to do that. Y/N I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have set you up if I knew he was going to act like such a douche about it.  I’ve heard he was a player but also quite the gentleman so I figured a guy like him would be perfect to take your V card and -SEOKJIN WE NEED TO TALK-” She interrupted her own thought to presumably scream at her probably now terrified boyfriend who had just come in the door to their shared apartment.

“Wait, Ash.  You literally set me up on this date with a player, just for a fuck? What is wrong with you?!” You yelled shocked

“Oh come on, y/n.  It wasn’t like you’re thinking.  I mean yeah I knew he probably wasn’t the type for dating, but he seemed like such a nice guy, and what you needed to get your mind off of Jackson wasn’t a new boyfriend”

You groaned loudly “Ash. I love you. But don’t do that again, and I think this is a perfect example of why not”

“Yeah, I really am sorry, do you need me to come over?” She quietly replied apologetically.

“That’d be nice, bring some ice cream.”

“Okay, I just need to tell Seokjin that his friend is a douchebag real quick and I’ll be right over”

You rolled your eyes, even though she couldn’t see. “Please spare him the details of this. I’d rather my embarrassing night not be the talk of the town.”

“Uhh okay” She answered with a tone you could tell meant she most definitely was going to give every detail to her boyfriend, and probably yell at him about Hoseok as if it was his fault too somehow just by association with the offender in question.

----------------------------------------------------------

When Ashley came over in about an hour you vented, ate icecream and got many hugs and reassurances.  As a pleasant surprise she’d also brought over tons of wine, you both had proceeded to drink almost all of it.  

“Yoush” *hiccup* “You should tell him, that he is a rude” *hiccup* “Rude scumbag, with a trash dick, and you hope it falls off” Ashley drunkenly slurred.

You giggled, equally as drunk as your friend “Ashhhh, I didn’t even see his dick”

“Well tell him that…” She thought hard with her hand to her chin “That he is bad at eating pussy and you thought of someone else the whole time”

“Yikes Ash,” you laughed, Taking another sip of wine.  “How about I just don’t talk to him ever again and lets leave it at that”

But in your drunken haze, before you had even realized what was happening, you saw Ash typing on her phone, wait, not her phone, your phone! “Ash wait no! What are you doing!”

She giggled maniacally and said “SENT” while holding her stomach and falling over with laughter.

You quickly grabbed the phone to assess the damage.

Hey hoseok, y/n here. Just wanted to say that you are a giant douchbag, and a coward. Thanks for leaving without an explaination, doucheee, -much hate, y/n

“ASH WHY” you yelled hitting her in the shoulder, quickly putting your fingers to your keyboard to try and undo what she had done

I’m really sorry, That was Ash not me. You don’t owe me an explanation.  We can just never speak about this or anything ever again.

“Why do you make things worse” You groaned at Ashley after pressing send, hoping Hoseok would just ignore the messages.

*Ding* your phone chimed.  Your stomach dropped. “Oh shit. I don’t wanna read it” you whined

Ashley took the phone and read aloud “Y/N.  I’m very sorry I left in a rush last night, I’m sorry if that hurt you, if you really want an explanation we can meet tomorrow at the coffee shop on the corner of 2nd Street at 2:00.” Ashley looked annoyed “He's really gonna try and meet up after that? What the hell is wrong with him. Don’t go y/n,”  

You nodded as if to agree with her. But your mind was racing.  He wanted to meet again, maybe you hadn’t totally blown it, maybe he had a really good reason, maybe he just ended up not feeling well, maybe he’d want to try again.  You thought hopefully, only to frown, realizing you were probably fooling yourself.  If he didn’t want you then, he wouldn’t want you now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the next day, and there you were, wearing a cute short skirt and tight fitting top, waiting at the coffee shop at 2:00.  Despite Ash’s warnings that you were setting yourself up for more hurt you couldn’t help but be curious at the excuse Hoseok was going to try to use to explain his odd behavior two nights ago.

When he walked into the shop he was just as breathtaking at the first time you’d seen him.  He was wearing gray sweatpants and a black pullover hoodie, a black beanie hanging off of his lazily styled black hair.  It was such a simple lazy look, yet he pulled it off like he was a supermodel.  It was so unfair. Just two nights ago that perfect face was buried between your legs, and seeing him now just reminded you that you’d never get to feel that heaven he’d given to you ever again.  He’d rejected you after giving you the best night you’d ever had, turning it into one of the worst you’d ever had, surprisingly maybe a close second to walking in on your ex fucking another woman.

Hoseok sat down at the table after grabbing a coffee from the counter.  He actually seemed shyer compared to the smooth talking Hoseok the first time you’d met him.  He held his coffee cup with both hands, staring down at it awkwardly.  

“Hi.” He spoke.

“Hello” you returned.

More silence.

“So…” you began, watching him as he fiddled with the lid of his cup avoiding your eyes.

“So…” he repeated after you quietly. “I should explain huh” his gaze finally lifted up to yours.  His dark eyes looking tired and lifeless. He sighed

“First, I’m sorry” he winced like that was hard for him to say, “You see, the thing is.  I like to have sex a certain type of way…” He paused. “I’m what you would call a dom, and I’m a pretty intense one, I’m assuming you don’t know what that is.   Some of the main things that means is that I like to hurt, inflict pain, or deny a woman of her orgasm over and over until shes screaming for it, it’s what I get off on and it’s the only way I have sex.  The women I have sex with are subs, and I usually have a really good eye for when someone is one.  I thought” He took a deep breath in “It seems I mistook your shy innocence for that, rather than being a virgin, I thought you were the type of girl that I usually participate in those acts with, and I thought you realized thats how I was as well.  But when you told me you were a virgin, it hit me like a ton of bricks how mistaken I was.  I would never do what I do to other girls to a virgin, you would never want your first time to be with someone like me” his voice trailed off and he hung his head looking down to the table.  “I had to leave quickly, because I was scared that even after knowing what you were...I wasn’t going to be able to hold myself back.  I was really worked up, and you were,” he stopped and looked up at you again, eyes trailing over you, a hint of the hunger from the other night showing on his face “you are, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life” He groaned “It’s not fair,  I got a taste, but I can’t have you”

Finally he paused long enough for you to get a word in.  “oh…I guess I get it.  But, maybe I’d like those things you do”

“Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying.  You don’t even know the things I wanted, and still want to do to you” his voice strained as he spoke.

“You’re right, I don’t know, but I don’t need to be babied, I can learn, I can at least try right?”

Hoseok shook his head sternly “No, I’m not going to.  You deserve to have your first time to be with someone who cares about you, who will treat you gently and take his time, someone who wouldn’t just think of you like a sex toy.”

A sex toy? So is that how he saw you, is that how he views women?  Upon noticing your appalled face he points at you

“See.  This is what I mean.  If you can’t even handle me saying stuff like that you aren’t ready.  I wouldn’t treat you kindly.  Me eating you out was...different, I actually don’t know why I did that without getting into my dom persona yet. But I assure you that you don’t deserve to be treated the way I treat women.  I can tell you are a good person, a kind woman, someone who deserves anything but this” he gestured to himself.

Your face scrunched and you pouted very obviously. He sighed and shook his head, he bit his lip as if trying to hold back from something.  

“I’ve said all I came here to say, you deserve an explanation.  You didn’t do anything wrong, its me.  I’m not ashamed of who I am or what I enjoy, but I have a rule of not participating in what I do with women who have no experience with it, let alone someone who has no experience with sex at all.  First of all because I don’t particularly enjoy teaching new subs, and secondly because you may think you’re ready for it, But I can tell you aren’t, and I’m so bad at holding back”  he almost moaned that last part.  It was evident that he still was very attracted to you, why or how you couldn’t quite understand, you’d never thought of yourself as the type of girl guys thought of as irresistible.  But Hoseok looked at you like all he wanted was to pick up right where he left off right here in the coffee shop.  

“I still think that you’re being a bit ridiculous, how do you know what I can and can’t handle” you shot out.

He stayed staring at you like he was a lion ready to pounce on his prey, “As a dom part of my role is to know what my subs can and can’t handle.  And you.” He shook his head disappointedly “You can’t handle this.  I’m afraid this is the last we’ll see of eachother y/n” He immediately stood up, walking over to you and planting a kiss on your cheek.  “I really am sorry, I hope you find someone who can treat you how you deserve” He said wincing at that thought, the thought of someone else being the one to lay in bed with you.

He sped out of the shop parking lot faster than legal, angry at himself for putting himself in such a tempting position with you.  Angry at himself for feeling a feeling he swore he’d long forgotten, jealousy was an emotion that had long been out of his list of things he’d felt.  It’d been many years since the thought of someone else with the woman he wanted made his blood boil like this.  He was used to one night stands, and if he happened to see the girl he’d slept with the night before at the same club the next night, with a different man, he felt nothing.  Mostly because he was already on the search for someone new himself.  In fact, meeting you at the coffee shop was the first time in forever that he could remember meeting with a woman he had been intimate with for a second time without it just being for another round of sex and nothing more.  He shook his head as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white.  It would fade, he’d forget you just like all the others, he told himself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It’d been two weeks now after being rejected by Hoseok for the second time.  You were getting dressed to head over to Ashley and Jin’s place for a party they were throwing.  Ashley was quite the social butterfly and loved throwing these large parties with drinking and dancing and the works.  You always felt slightly out of place but liked to go anyways.  

You slipped on a black skirt and tight blue shirt that you felt made your tits look incredible, then made your way to the taxi and finally arrived at Ash’s place.

You’d gotten there about an hour after the party had started, upon walking into the large space where many people were gathered you saw most seemed already many drinks in.  Loud music blaring from some speakers in the corner of the room playing some generic dance music you couldn’t help but bob your head to.

“Hey!” A voice yelled from across the room.  Ash ran over to you throwing her arms around your shoulders.  “Let's get you a drink” She grinned, obviously a few in already herself.

As you made your way to the drinks table a figure dancing in the center of the room caught your eye.  Damnit.  Why was he here.

Hoseok was dancing enthusiastically to the song playing, a tall blonde that looked like she walked straight out of a playboy magazine was pressed against him.  Her back to him and ass grinding against his front while he had his hands on her hips moving her to the music smoothly.

He happened to look up from her for just long enough to see you staring.  Shit. You thought, not wanting to make things awkward you wanted to look away, but you just couldn’t seem to.  You couldn’t help but wonder if that girl was one of those sub types he had been talking about.  Would she be giving him exactly what he wanted later tonight? The thing that he didn’t seem to think you could give…

What he did next was far too reminiscent of your least favorite memory with your ex.  Hoseok did a simple shrug and a smirk your way.  

Your blood was boiling and your eyes must’ve shown how much you didn’t appreciate that gesture since Hoseok made a ‘yikes’ face and went back to focusing on the playboy bunny looking girl in front of him.

“Earth to y/n” Ash waved a hand that was cupping a drink in your view.  You quickly grabbed it and chugged it down instantly handing it back to Ashley implying you were ready for another.

“Damn girl” She giggled “Okay, I get it, it's that kind of night”

She promptly got you another drink.  You were ready to get wasted, hoping to forget that Hoseok was here.  It hurt enough to be rejected by him, but why did he have to parade himself around in all his perfection.  You felt insignificant, your inexperience in sex drove him away.

After some dancing and a few more drinks your inhibitions had been sufficiently driven away.  You couldn’t help yourself from glancing Hoseok’s way every once in a while.   No matter how hard you were trying to just enjoy hanging out with Ashley, thoughts of him kept intruding.

When you looked this time he was on his own, his dance partner must’ve left to get a drink or gone to the bathroom.  Ashley was facing away from you dancing against Jin.

Not fully in control of your feet or your actions, you found yourself strutting over to him.  You grabbed his arm “Come here” you said angrily and dragged him into the kitchen.  His eyebrows raised in amusement, not used to anyone being this forward with him of all people.  

You let him go and he instantly crossed his arms.  “Little girl you’d better explain yourself.” he growled, yet the look of amusement hadn’t quite left his face.

You huffed, too drunk to think over your words before they spilled out “You know something.  I am quite offended that you think I’m not someone who could handle you.  Like all this-” you motioned up and down to all of him “-is some kind of special prize that I’d have gotten to have if only I was some kind of floozy or something like that” you slurred

He let out an unrestrained laugh at your words. “Holyshit you’re smashed. Okay um I-”

You cut him off “No. I don’t even want to hear it.  I wasn’t trying to say I still wanted you or something.  I’m just saying what gives you the right to act like you know me so well after one date. One and a half maybe if you count the second time you rejected me” you pouted. “Anyways, my point here is, I was thinking about what you said about me needing to lose it with someone I cared about.  And I think that's bullshit.  You don’t get an opinion on who I lose my virginity to, or how they feel about me.  You think you’re saving me or something by not being my first.  So I’m here to inform you that I’m going to go have sex. Tonight.  With some random guy out there” you whipped your arm out and pointed out to the party, losing your balance as you did and almost falling over.  “And I don’t give a shit if he cares about me or not.”

You couldn’t quite tell what was going through Hoseok’s mind.  His face had turned from amused to blank and emotionless.  You didn’t wait around for him to respond and stumbled back out to join the rest of the party.

You scanned the room for a suitable candidate and your eyes landed on an attractive man standing alone against one of the walls.  You wandered over to him

“Wanna dance” you said in your best flirtatious voice.

 The man grinned widely and excitedly pulled himself from the wall and nodded.  You grabbed his hand and pulled him out into the center of the crowd of other dancing party goers.  You instantly pressed your back against his chest and started pressing your backside into his hips, rolling them smoothly to the beat of the music the same way you’d watched the girl do with Hoseok.

“What’s your name?” he spoke into your ear, then pulled back your hair so he could softly brush his lips against your neck.

“I’m y/n. You?” you smiled softly turning your head as much as you could to face him from your position giving flirtatious doe eyes and batting your eyelashes at him.

 “Taehyung” he murmured into your ear, a soft groan only audible to you left his lips and his hands gripped your sides hard moving with them as they pressed against his now growing boner.  After dancing for a couple minutes like that you spun around to face him.  Your hands draped loosely over his shoulders, you leaned into his ear “I know a place we can go to be alone” you whispered.  

“Fuck” he inhaled sharply “Yeah, lets go” he nodded

You walked clumsily, leading him towards the halway you knew led to Ash’s guest room.  You figured she wouldn’t mind, especially since she was the one who had pushed for you to lose your V card so much.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A voice yelled from behind you.  You whipped your head around to see Hoseok seething, standing tall and staring directly at Taehyung.

 “You’re really gonna go in there and fuck a girl who’s that drunk? That’s the type of creep you are?” He shouted at the man who you had invited into the spare room with you.   

“What the fuck man, she asked me” Taehyung spat back, putting up his hands defensively, slightly embarrassed about the scene that was being caused.

“And you feel good about that huh?” Hoseok growled, shoving the shoulder of other man hard causing him to stumble back a few steps.

“Hoseok!” You were in shock at his actions towards Taehyung.  “Hoseok, there's no fucking problem here.  I’m consenting okay.”

“Yeah man, you can step the fuck back” Taehyung hissed putting an arm around your shoulders as if to show Hoseok that he was more than allowed to be with you.  

Hoseok’s hands were balled into fists, his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes narrowed.  He shook his head and let out a low somewhat menacing chuckle.  In one swift stroke before you could even registar what was happening, Hoseok had picked you up and thrown you over his shoulder.  He walked away quickly carrying you out the door of Ash and Jin’s house.  

You started hitting your fists onto his back in protest and you could faintly hear a “What the hell man” from Taehyung as you were carried further away from the party.

Once you had reached his car Hoseok plopped you down, still holding on to you by one of your wrists he opened the passenger seat door. “In.” he commanded sternly.

“No way!” you objected “You’re acting like a psycho right now”

He tensed up at your comment, the vein in his neck throbbing “Now.” he spoke through clenched teeth.

Not wanting to escalate his anger any further you decided to give in and get in his car.  

He slammed the door after you entered and rushed to the drivers side, also slamming his own door as he sat down.

“You.” he started, shaking his head “What were you thinking”

“I think I already told you what I was thinking, remember our talk in the kitchen”

“Our talk huh” he scoffed, running his fingers through his hair in an aggressive manner.  “You mean when you pulled me in there to go off on me and didn’t even wait around for me to get a word in” he glared at you.

You started nervously pulling at your fingers in your lap.

Hoseok put the keys in the ignition and started to back out of the spot he was parked in.

“I’m taking you home” he muttered

“Are you okay to drive? We were kinda just at a party”

He rolled his eyes at you “I didn’t drink, I don’t really drink”

You now remember your date with him, he ordered you a wine but nothing besides water for himself.  You wonder why you thought he was just as drunk as you tonight.  You groaned to yourself, you’re a drunk mess currently and he's completely sober to witness it all.  You shouldn’t care, you’re overwhelmed with anger because of his actions and the fact that he for lack of a better term ‘cockblocked’ you.

You were silent the whole way home as was he.  Surprisingly he remembered exactly where you lived and didn’t ask for directions once.  

As he pulled up to your apartment complex you decided to one last time give him a piece of your mind.  

“You know I was fine right? I don’t see why it even matters to you if I sleep with someone. You totally cockblocked me and embarrassed that poor guy at the party.  He was nice.”  You glared at Hoseok.

He put the car in park and shook his head, “You’d regret it if you were this drunk for your first time”

“Again, I don’t see why that matters to you, or why you think it's any of your business anyways” you huffed.  

He didn’t look at you, staring at his steering wheel with a serious expression.  

His silence only irritated you more, “This is a decision that should be up to me.  I’m grown woman who can make her own damn choices”

He scoffed, still not turning his head to you, “Obviously you can’t because you were about to make a horrible choice”

You felt your face growing red with rage.  “Thats. Not. For. You. To. Say” you enunciated clearly, not really sure how better to get this point across to him.  He rejected you, he wasn’t your boyfriend or even your friend for that matter.  

He sighed and finally turned to make eye contact with you, his expression was softer than it had been since dragging you out of Ashley’s house.  “Look.  When I lost my virginity…” He winced at the memory “It was awful, I mean not the act itself, but it was with a woman who couldn’t have cared less about me.  I was in love with her, the only woman I’ve ever loved…” he trailed off and paused for a while.

You sat in silence waiting for him to finish explaining himself.

“She was my older brothers girlfriend.  I’d always loved her.  Sometimes she’d come over to our house even though she knew my brother wasn’t home.  I didn’t want to do anything to betray my brother, even though she begged.  One day I caved in and I let her kiss me. After that she just kept wanting more, I tried to tell her how awful it made me feel and that I would never go all the way with her.  Eventually she ended up getting me so drunk I could barely function, and she told me she was going to leave him for me if I slept with her.  I was so taken by the love I had for her that I believed her.  I barely even remember what happened I was so wasted.  But I do remember how right after we were done she laughed.  She never planned on leaving my brother, she was an awful person” he shook his head, it seemed he was almost tearing up. “My brother ended up coming home while all this was happening.  He saw me with her.  And she told him…” Hoseok took a deep breath “She told him that I forced myself on her, that I was drunk and threatened her. I still don’t talk to my brother, he never believed me.  They are married now.  And its for that exact reason I don’t trust anyone.  People are liars. And love is a lie.” He spat the last sentence out with a cold expression.

Your eyes widened.  You couldn’t believe how much Hoseok had just opened up to you.  It made it hard to be angry with him anymore in this moment.  

“I-I’m sorry that happened to you” you stuttered

He shrugged his shoulders and stared out the windshield of his car. “It’s the past.  But sometimes it does still bother me.  I swore I’d never fall in love again.  And that I’d never let someone fall in love with me.  I would never let myself do what she did, taking someones virginity and tossing them aside like that.”

“Hoseok...I” you pursed your lips and debated on whether what you were about to say was too insensitive. “I’m sorry, but you do realize just because that's your story doesn’t mean that would be mine right?  Or anyone else's if they fell in love, or lost their virginity.  I’m not being tricked or deceived, and I wouldn't be broken hearted or anything if it was just a one time thing.  I get that it meant a lot to you, but I still don’t think that really gives you an excuse to tell other people what it should mean to them”

He snapped his head to you, jaw dropping at your words.  “You know you’re really dense. Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about” he hissed.

Your eyes narrowed and you immediately started getting out of his car.  “No, you’re the dense one Hoseok.  We all have sob stories in life.  Not everyone lets it ruin them for anyone else.  I’m going to lose my virginity one way or another and I’d appreciate if you stop trying to make it your business” and on that note you slammed the car door on him and rushed in to your apartment.  Leaving him to think on what you’d just said.

It honestly baffled you that because of something that happened to him he felt entitled to an opinion on your life, you wanted to show him that he was wrong.  That just because he had loved once and it went poorly didn’t mean that love was wrong.  That just because he lost his virginity and it went badly didn’t mean that everyone who is a virgin was so sensitive about how their first time went.  At this point in your life it didn’t need it to be special, you didn’t even need it to mean anything at all.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night when Hoseok got back to his house he was fuming.  He knew he shouldn’t have done what he did.  You made him lose all common sense.  He was usually calm and collected, things like this didn’t get to him. He angrily tossed his keys on to his kitchen counter and stomped into his bedroom, throwing himself onto his bed and staring at the ceiling.  He knew you were right, just because he felt how he did about first times being important and special didn’t mean that anyone else had to feel that way.  He’d never pushed his opinions on someone else like that before.  But with you, it was different.  It was different because he wanted so badly for it to be him, and he hated himself for that.  He knew what type of person he was, fuck em’ then leave before they woke up in the morning type of guy.  What if you did end up liking him afterwards, that was a chance he didn’t want to take.  In his mind he was incapable of ever returning that type of feeling to anyone.  He’d never loved since that day.  

He put his hands to his face dragging them down in frustration.  He was slightly embarrassed that he’d told you about all of that, he didn’t even know why he did, he’d never told anyone about that.

What were you doing to him?  

He pulled his phone out, maybe just getting off and going to bed was all he needed to reset and pretend today didn’t happen.  He pulled up his usual genre of porn, something sub/dom related where the guy had the girl tied up and was using a vibrator on her, teasing her over and over not letting her reach her orgasm, grinning each time he deprived her of her high.  Something Hoseok had done many times with his one night stands.  

He unbuttoned his pants slipping them off and reaching his hand inside his boxers, palming his cock to warm himself up.  

Once he was hard he wrapped his hand tightly around the base of his length, slowly stroking up and down as he watched the girl in the video begging her dom to let her cum.  He loved to hear his subs beg for him.  He closed his eyes for a moment to just listen to the whining of the girl in the video, and ended up picturing you whining, tied up and begging for him, pleading for him to make you cum.  He remembered watching you cum that first night, your moans and your beautiful body.  He pumped his cock faster at that thought tossing his head back as he got closer to cumming.  He pictured you kissing him as he fingered you, moaning into his lips.  This was something usually too vanilla for him to get off on, but when he imagined it was you, somehow it was the most erotic thing he’d ever felt.  He lifted his hips slightly off the bed and moaned loudly as he reached his finnish.  His legs were slightly shaking, he wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead with his non messy hand and took a few deep breaths.  

As great as it was. He was disappointed in how that all just went. He had thought he could get his mind off of you by watching porn, but all he could think about was you.  He’d never fantasized about someone like that before, not the way that he just did now…

He took a shower and cleaned himself up.  After returning to his bed he let out a long sigh.  

Love is a lie.  Love is a lie.  Love is a lie.  A voice in his head repeated itself.

It was somewhat of a mantra of his.  And it was an easy lifestyle to stick to, most subs didn’t want anything more than sex for the night and were quick to move on to the next dom.  On the occasion where one got attached Hoseok was quick to cut ties and avoid her, it was so annoying when that happened.

Yet, why did a part of him want to keep seeing you...want to have you again and again and again.   You were driving him crazy, making him second guess everything he stood for when it came to women.  Was he starting to change his mind about letting himself have actually feelings for someone?

No.  He couldn’t.  Because if those feelings ever changed and he broke your heart, the heart of a girl who had lost her virginity to him, as his brother’s wife had done to him...he’d never be able to forgive himself.  

-----------------------------------

The next day Hoseok texted Jin and asked him to meet up at a bar that was down the road from where he lived.

When Hoseok arrived Jin was already sat down with a tall beer in front of him.  He sat down beside his friend and flagged down the bartender.  “Whiskey please.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened.  “You sure? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you drink anything but water!”

Hoseok nodded “I’m sure.  I need it for what I want to talk to you about”

After getting a few drinks in and having some small talk about how things were going with Jin and Ashley’s relationship, Hoseok decided to finally go to the subject he had wanted to meet up to discuss.  He told Jin about the feelings he was having about you, he didn’t quite get in to as much detail about his past as he had with you, mostly summarizing it into, ‘It just went badly when I lost mine’

Jin knew that his friend was a regular player, he’d never seen him out with the same girl twice so a lot of this was no surprise to him.  

“So you’re just scared.” Jin said

“Scared?” Hoseok scrunched his eyebrows in thought.  “I guess you could say that.”

“Hoseok I know y/n a bit, she's over at our place quite a lot.  Ashley has told me a lot about her.  I don’t know if it’s really my place to say this but I’m going to anyways.  Y/n has had her fair share of her own heartbreaks.  She was cheated on by basically the only guy she had ever been with.  Walked in on the whole thing and all that.  She was hurt but she honestly seemed to handle it well, she's a strong person.  So I think if your concern here is that just because she's a virgin that you’d be the first one to break her heart or something you’ve been beat to it.” he shrugged “But I think the bigger thing here is that you’re scared she’ll hurt you”

“What?” Hoseok looked confused at his friend

“It sounds like someone hurt you, and now to prevent that from ever happening again you’ve shut yourself off from ever getting close to letting that happen again.  I kinda get it.  Love can be scary, I don't know how I’d handle it if Ash ever broke my heart.  But those are chances you have to take, cuz if you don’t you could be missing out on the best decision of your life man.”

Hoseok thought hard about what his friend just said.  Maybe he was right.  He was scared.  This was terrifying.  The idea of either you or him getting hurt by getting involved with each other seemed too big of a risk to take.  At the same time, like Jin said, what if the risk paid off, what if for the first time in his life Hoseok could actually fall in love with someone who returned those feelings? Was it too late now?  The last time you saw him you were so mad at him.

Tomorrow he would tell you.  Tomorrow he would confess these feelings eating him up inside.

---------------------------------------

You were laying in bed watching your favorite drama, covers pulled up over your chest when you heard your doorbell ring.  It was late in the evening and usually if Ash was coming over she’d text first.

You pulled a t-shirt on over your bare chest and grabbed some loose fitting pajama shorts putting them on as you walked to the door.  You glanced through the peephole of your door to inspect the unexpected visitor.  Hoseok? You debated on pretending not to be home but decided to see what he could possibly want.

You swung the door open with a sour “What.”

His face showed he was slightly taken aback by your attitude.  Though you weren’t sure what he expected when the last time you saw him you were slamming a car door in his face.

“I- Can I come in?” he stuttered nervously.

“I guess…” You muttered.  He was acting so strange you weren’t sure if you should but decided it couldn’t hurt to see what was up with him.

He slowly stepped in, he took off the raincoat he had been wearing and held it in his hand.  He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, his hair seemed wet from the apparent weather you were unaware of.  You couldn’t help but take note of how handsome he looked like that, his wet hair sticking to his forehead in the most attractive way.  You tried not to let it take away from the annoyance you were feeling.

You stood with your arms crossed facing him.  “Okay...so?”

He inhaled deeply “I like you. A lot. Like...A lot. Shit um.  First I should say I’m sorry, I know you’re mad at me for the other night.  I was wrong, I just, I couldn’t bear to see you with anyone, but me” he said softly.  You were shocked and confused, you let his words hang in the air for a long time before responding.

“I don’t understand.  I thought you didn’t think of people that way, as like...your way of life or something” you slowly spoke

“I dont...I mean I didn’t. This is new, and I don’t really even know why.” He muttered “Thats a lie, I know why.  You are so…” He paused “You are perfect, the way you talk, the little things you do.  I think I fell head over heels that first night we met and I haven’t been the same since.  I don’t really know how to handle this, how to go about this.  I tried hard just to deny it was anything but that only seemed to make things worse.  Seeing you with someone else really proved to me that what I’m feeling is that I don’t ever want to see you with anyone but me.  I-” another deep breath “I don’t want to be with anyone but you” he stepped forward and grabbed your hand gently.  “I’ve always said love is a lie.  That I just didn’t believe in it.  But now I’ve realized, love is a risk.  It’s real and its terrifying, and what I feel for you scares me.”

Your eyes grew bigger the more he spoke, you tried to take in everything he’d just said.  

“I realize how much of a risk it is, especially right now.  I’m here pouring my heart out, and I don’t even know if you feel a thing for me.  You probably only wanted to fuck that first night and here I am making this out to be more than it was” He groaned “I’m so stupid, I’m sorry.  I said what I needed to say, I’m gonna go home and die from embarrassment” he shook his head, releasing your hand and starting to walk away.

“Wait!” you shot out and grabbed his hand back, pulling him to you.  “I-I actually don’t know what to say” you admitted.

He stared at you blankly for a moment, wondering what was going through your mind.  

You sighed, “I liked you right away on that date.  I mean looks wise, you are a fucking 10” you motioned up and down to him.

He broke his blank expression and chuckled.

“I’m mad at you for the other night.  But I kinda get it now, you’ve been dealing with a lot trying to make out your feelings.  I don’t really know what to think.  But, If you actually feel what you’re saying, I think you should know that I feel the same” you confessed.

And you knew you were telling the truth.  You hadn’t totally realized it until now, but even through all his strange actions towards you, you couldn’t get him out of your mind.  Him telling you that he liked you in a way he’d never thought was possible for him anymore had you floating on cloud nine.  

He grinned widely.  “You’re sure?”

You nodded shyly, now suddenly feeling self conscious about what to do next.

He stepped in close to you, reaching up and cupping the side of your face in one of his hands, tilting your head to his.  “Y/N.  Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.

Without answering you leaned into him and pressed your lips to his.  You kissed slowly and passionately, different from the hungry lustful kisses that you had shared with him the first night you’d met.  He wrapped an arm around your waist, a flat hand on your back pulling you tightly into him, his other hand trailing from where it had held your chin to the back of your head.  He ran his fingers lightly through your hair as he continued planting loving kisses on your lips.  You could feel the honest emotion behind these actions.  He had meant what he said.

He obviously wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear to get you into bed with him or something like that, since you knew how he felt about that.  At that thought you quickly pulled back from the kiss,

“Wait...Does that mean you want to…” you trailed off.

He cocked his head to the side in confusion “Huh?”

“You want me? Like...you want to have sex with me?” you blushed as you told him what you had meant.

“Oh” he stepped back and looked at you with a serious yet caring expression.  “I do...If you want to of course.  I did think about this.” he sighed “I am going to try and hold back on a lot of my urges, hopefully one day we can get into some of the things I’m in to” he winked at you “But It will be more than pleasurable to me to have you even if it is fairly gentle compared to what I’m used to”

You cringed a little at his words.  What he’s used to...What if you weren’t enough for him.  What if it wasn’t enough for him, or you didn’t end up liking the things he wanted.  You had told him before that you would try, but now, you were nervous that if you didn’t he would reject you again and go find someone else to please him in the ways you couldn’t as your ex had done.

“Hey” he soothed, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, noticing your worried expression. “I’m going to enjoy it.  As long as you are enjoying it” he smiled

You nodded and nervously tugged at the bottom of your shirt, pulling it over your head and standing in front of him now completely topless.

He smirked and raised his eyebrows “Oh now?” he teased.

You covered your breasts with your arms and pouted. “Or not I guess” you mumbled

He grabbed your wrists one in each hand and gently pulled your arms back down to your sides.  

“I’m kidding.” he kissed you on your neck and moaned softly “You’re so beautiful” he whispered

He kissed you on your shoulder and trailed his kisses down until he reached one of your nipples, planting a gentle kiss on your sensitive bud.  You shuddered at the feeling, and you could feel him smile against your skin before he started to lightly suck and nip at your breasts, always keeping the one not to his lips cupped in his hand.  

He paused and brought his head up to yours “Want to go to your bedroom now?” he suggested.  

You nodded nervously.  As you guided him to your room you cursed yourself in your mind for not having a cleaner room at the moment.

Once you were in your room he glanced around quickly and chuckled “It seems very you”

“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment but I’ll pretend it was” you laughed in return.

Suddenly he had you pulled back into a soft kiss.  “I don’t think I could ever do anything but compliment you” he kissed neck once again “or please you.  Let me make you feel good” he moaned.

You pulled back from him and grabbed the bottom of his shirt.  He lifted his arms up and let you lift it off of him.  Damn.  It almost wasn’t fair someone this perfectly sculpted existed, he put models and athletes to shame looking like he did.  You put a hand on his chest still marveling at his figure.  He grinned “Ah, it feels so good having you touch me like this” he closed his eyes as you trailed your hand over his abs.  He brought his head down onto your shoulder and nuzzled into your neck leaving a few kisses as he did.  He then took your arms and positioned them to wrap around his neck, snaking his hands down to your sides and lifting you up in the air.  His mouth again found yours, “put your legs around me.” he muttered softly between heavy kisses.  You did as he said, once your legs were wrapped around him your core was pressed into the hardness you could feel very distinctively through his sweatpants.  He placed both of his hands on your ass to help hold you up, and started rolling your hips into his front, moaning at the friction it was causing.  You felt him grow even more against you.  You ached for him to be inside of you, you didn’t know what it would be like, but you expected nothing less than heaven with how things were going so far.  

As if he was reading your mind Hoseok walked you over to your bed, gently placing you down and climbing on top of you, continuing to grind against you. “I want you so badly y/n” he moaned, bringing eyes level with yours “But you can still say no any time if you start to not like it okay?  I’m going to be gentle and try not to dom.  If I accidentally get carried away or do something you don’t like let me know.”  

You nodded and reached up to kiss him on the nose.  He beamed at that cute little action of yours.  “God damn it, if anyone else had ever done that I would’ve been so pissed.  But you.  I don’t even understand what this is that you’re doing to me” he chuckled and planted a kiss right back on your nose. He crawled off of you and stood up to take off his pants, dropping them along with his boxers to the floor casually and quickly.  Your eyes widened and you let out a small gasp, his cock was huge, and perfect, you got slightly nervous for how well you’d be able to receive his enormous member with it being your first time.  Again as if he could read your mind “I’m going to go slow okay, you’ll adjust” he reassured with a wink.

He climbed back on to the bed and locked his fingers on to the hem of your shorts and panties, rolling them both off of your body at the same time and tossing them to the floor.  He spread your legs apart with and kneeled between your thighs, palming himself with a devilish expression on his face.  He lowered himself so that his head was between your thighs, pecking light kisses getting closer and closer to...there.  You let out a gasp as he kissed your dripping center.  He did a long lick up your slit, his tongue brushing against your clit.  With one hand he spread apart your lips giving himself better access to pleasure you with his tongue.  His circling motions on your clit started off slow then got faster and faster.  With the hand that was there he took a finger and slowly inserted it inside of you.  You moaned loudly unable to contain yourself at the feeling that seemed to run over your whole body at this action of his.  “Y-yes, oh my god Hoseok” you gasped out shakily.

He purred into you, his moan vibrating against you making it feel all the more amazing.  He slowly pumped his finger in and out along with his tongue circling your clit.  After a few moments of this he inserted another finger curling it with the other one as he moved in and out of you.  

“I-I’m g-gonna” you breathed out “H-hoseok don’t stop, oh my god d-don’t stop”

Hoseok loved seeing you like this, he loved making you feel like this.  It surprised him how much he was close to cumming himself without you even touching him, just from hearing you moan and beg like this for him.  

You came hard, hips bucking up into his mouth and fingers as waves of pleasure surged through you.  He pulled back from between your legs and moved up to kiss you on the cheek.  “You are so amazing” He muttered

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” you chuckled.

He let out a soft laugh and smiled shaking his head at you.

 “I think I may have had more fun than you did” he sat up and gripped his cock in on hand loosely pumping up and down his length.  “Ready? You still okay with this?” he asked

You nodded excitedly “Yes please”

“Mmm.  I love your manners baby girl” he moaned. “You’ll learn that's always a good way to make me happy.” he winked at you.  

He now hovered over you, lowering his cock to meet your entrance.  “I’m going to start slow I promise, don’t be scared to tell me if its too much”

You nodded again.  Then suddenly you felt him start to press into you, slowly, as he said he would.

 “Relax baby” he whispered and brought his hand to the top of your head, running fingers gently through your hair.  

You did your best to relax despite your nervousness.  It seemed to help.  He now was about half way into you, slowly pressing further in.  He kissed you on the cheek and checked your expression to make sure you weren’t in pain or uncomfortable.  Upon seeing that you seemed to be doing fine he pushed himself all the way in.

You let out a soft yelp.  It hurt slightly but not too unbearable.  He stopped moving and stilled for a moment letting you adjust.

 “Tell me when you want me to move” he nuzzled his face lovingly into your neck.  

“You can move Hoseok. Please move” you moaned.  

Instantly as if he had been waiting for years to hear those words from you, his hips slowly started to roll, as he moved in and out of you.  

“Fuck” he grunted out.  “You are so fucking tight wow” he gulped as he continued his slow pace.  

“You can move faster” you gasped out, loving how he felt filling you up like this.  You wanted more, you wanted to please him as he pleasured you so well.  He nodded and sat up a bit, pulling one of your legs up and wrapping it around him, adjusting himself to go faster and even deeper in to you.

He started to move his cock in and out at an accelerated pace.  You felt yourself clench around him as you started to approach another orgasm.  He definitely was able to feel you do that as instantly another “Fuck” escaped his lips.

“I-I’m gonna cum” you moaned.

Hoseok fought the urge to deny you and make you beg for it.  Another time, he told himself as he shook the thought away.  This time was all about making you feel good.  

“Cum for me baby” he softly spoke, panting with his head buried into your neck.  

At his words you felt yourself fall over the edge.  Your orgasm was all he needed to push him over as well. He quickly pulled out and pumped his cock quickly “S-shit” he stuttered, legs shaking and his face flushed with intense pleasure, his come spilling onto your stomach.  

“Woah” you muttered in awe.  “I’ve been missing out huh” you chuckled.

Hoseok collapsed onto you not minding laying in the mess he’d created on your stomach “Mmm” his breathing starting to slow down from its quickened gasps. He rolled you over with him so you both were on your sides facing each other.  He kissed you long and beautifully.  “What I feel for you...right now.” He shook his head with a smile “Y/N I really think I love you.”

You grinned back at him “Hoseok, I love you too” kissing him on his nose again.

He returned your gesture with a kiss on your forehead and then pulling your head into his chest bringing you into a tight hug.

“Mine.” he mumbled.

“Yours” you replied.

[lonely-little-penguin-blog]

I Think I Love You - Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: JUSTINE OVER AT @travelwithwords IS DOING A SUMMER BASH FOR 500 FOLLOWERS! YAY! SHE’S FABULOUS EVERYONE GO FOLLOW HER. No, but seriously, I’m doing this songfic for her! It’s to ‘I Think I Love You’ by Less Than Jake, and it’s a beautiful song, she’s a beautiful person, and she has a beautiful blog!

Taglist: @courtneychicken, @travelwithwords.

Summary: He’s supposed to be fearless, he’s supposed to be strong, but he knows the way that he feels for you is wrong. Steve’s never been so nervous, never been so scared, and something about you knocks him off his feet no matter how much he’s prepared.

Warnings: Fluff needs a warning. Mentions of an erotic dream. I used the word “balls”, and not the kind you play with.

Other Notes: As always gender neutral, as always your name is represented by Y/N and as always it’s supposed to be good but my judgement is biased! Also, go follow @travelwithwords!!! Otherwise you can’t read this. (Okay, you can, but I’ll glare at you.) And you can listen to the song while reading this, but while that was the inspiration, it goes a lot faster than this, considering it’s only 2 minutes long!

I’m sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream

When all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain

Steve Rogers was Captain America.

He was supposed to have control, discipline, and be responsible enough to take care of himself and not be lying awake because you managed to make your way into his dream.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened - his dreams were almost always filled with people he knew, even going so far as to have an erotic dream with Tony Stark.

That was a nightmare and he couldn’t sleep again that night, not to mention the fact that he couldn’t look his fellow Avenger in the eye at all the next day.

But this was different. It was a dream of a romantic nature but for some reason it was so much more... welcome.

No. Y/N is too young for this.

He had dreamed of you and him, dancing, before the scene shifted to you lying on the bed under him and that was when he woke up, gasping for breath.

Groaning, the super soldier grabbed one of the pillows from the bed next to him and sat up, covering his face with it as he came to the realization.

I hold my pillow to my head

And spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread

“I think I love you!” he shouted into the pillow, before promptly rolling over and, with the pillow under him, pressing his face into it.

This was incurable, and it was intoxicating.

Which could only mean that it was bad news.

And so I just decided to myself

I’d hide it to myself

And never talk about it

And did not go and shout

When you walked into the room

I think I love you, Steve realized, watching your figure make its way across the room, barely managing to keep in the words ricocheting in his skull and taunting him, forcing him to concentrate that much harder to ensure that he didn’t drop his spoon on the floor or anything like - oh, great, his spoon was on the floor.

Before he could even lean down you were there in a flash, bending down and giving him a nice view of - no, no, he was seventy years older than you, there was probably a law against something like this.

“I’ll get you another one,” you offered, amused. “Distracted much?”

That was certainly one way of putting it, and Steve had to force himself not to let his hand linger on the clean spoon you offered, returning to his meal, head down.

“I thought super soldiers didn’t get sick,” you mused, curiously examining his flushed cheeks, “and your run was hours ago. This means one of two things.”

“Oh?”

He prayed you didn’t manage to nail the right answer.

“Either you’re actually an impostor, or you had one of those dreams about Tony again.”

“Again?” repeated Steve, confused. He hadn’t told anyone about that. He would never have.

Nodding, you elaborated. “You asked FRIDAY if it was possible to cleanse your eyes of the dream you had, and you couldn’t look him in the eye all day.”

Your intuition was another part of the deadly combination that sought to erase his rational thought.

I think I love you

So what am I so afraid of?

I’m afraid that I’m not sure of

A love that there’s no cure for

As an Avenger, he was supposed to be brave, not dropping spoons on the floor the minute he laid eyes on you.

And yet he had never been so afraid of anything as he was of his newfound feelings for you.

I think I love you

Is that what life is made of?

Though it worries me to say

That I’ve never felt this way

What would he have done before?

Well, that answer was obvious. He might not have ever been as much of a ladies’ man as Bucky had been, but he did have balls - he would have asked you out.

In a past life.

It was different back then, and you were far different from what he was used to.

Believe me, you really don’t have to worry

I only wanna make you happy

And if you say, “Hey, go away”, I will

He waited for you to respond to his silent presence, some small part of him wishing you would just shoo him out of the room and nip in the bud the flower of love he was terrified would become a weed if he let it continue to grow out of control, vines creeping up and choking him as they were choking his words.

You were beautiful, there was no denying that, and instead of responding negatively you smiled.

There it was, your happiness shining like a beacon and sending his heart racing.

But I think better still

I better stare out and love you

Love was a flower that he couldn’t turn his back on, the hedge that would only grow out of control if he didn’t trim it.

Steve needed to nurture this, not attempt to persuade himself that it didn’t exist, because it existed.

There was no denying that.

Do you think I have a case?

Let me ask you to your face.

“I think I love you,” murmured the soldier out loud, causing you to turn, confused.

I think I love you

So what am I so afraid of?

I’m afraid that I’m not sure of

A love that there’s no cure for

“What was that?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him, hoping somewhere that it was what you thought it was.

“I think I love you,” he repeated, a little louder, a little bolder, a little more hopeful.

Is that what life is made of?

Though it worries me to say

That I’ve never felt this way

Your expression was all that Steve cared about in that moment, unsure as he had never felt before.

He could take out ten men in half the same amount of minutes.

But the minute he was faced with you, it was like someone took his entire foundation and decided to jackhammer it until it was unrecognizable chunks of stone, a crumbled replica of the resolve he held.

I don’t know what I’m up against

I don’t know what it’s all about

I’ve got so much to think about

“I think I love you.”

Startled, Steve wasn’t sure that he had heard you correctly, but by the fact that you were getting up and getting closer and getting irresistibly more beautiful the wider you smiled seemed to say that you had said exactly what he had thought he heard.

So what am I so afraid of?

I’m afraid that I’m not sure of

A love that there’s no cure for.

He wasn’t unsure, and the hands pressed against his shoulders seemed to say with surety what he had hesitated so long to confess.

Looking down into your eyes, Steve breathed in an unusually short breath. “Really? Do you think you love me?”

“Shut up and kiss me, old man.”

Insistently he did just as you had asked, turning the two of you around in his arms and pressing you against the wall, with all the urgency of a man who had come to realize his latent feelings less than twenty-four hours ago but seemed as if he couldn’t wait another minute.

I think I love you

Your taste, your scent, your eyes.

I think I love you

The way you moved, the way you spoke, the way you laughed.

I think I love you

The way you fit perfectly into his arms.

[glopratchet]

astryl-wondering

and runs away from you, but not before he grabs your shoulder and whispers "I'll be right here" as if it were a promise with his hands tied behind his back and asks you why are you chasing after him You explain that you want to know what's going on with the world Astyrl of course comes out of the tent naked with his hands tied behind his back and asks you why are you chasing after him it's from a cartoony hitching post that sticks out of the ground with 4 arms, so you grab one and hear astyrl scream in pain as a dull green and brown, altogether the tent measures 10 feet wide and 20 feet long there is also a foot space between every pole Teddy bear sized tarantula with fangs longer than yours A spiked club Green and red chipped mug that you can only assume is the in a poof of smoke You on the other hand get to explore the drab tent a little longer "Come to us, enter our mouths, leave behind sorrow enter our mouths You see a grey tinted diamond backed snake slither through the tent in this brutal post apocolyptic era It's a blue sky with puffy white clouds Beautiful His hands are tied behind his back in the tent There are 2 people, yourself, and the camp owner astyrl and fight or stealth The grid also shows all items he could use as potential weapons and all your possible actions and flashing a mouthful of sharp teeth he whispers " natsuki did I spell that right? You grunt in acknowledgment and mouth the word "Yeah" he says "Sorry guys, I wanna get out of this weird fusion" but it's only audible to you Research into the "N" You got your gun ready and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest and impending doom He starts to chant to himself "Lemme out! Lemme out! " While clenching his eyes shut Astryl keeps trying to remember why he decided to devolve himself into these poor acts of debauchery and impending doom since the encryption of his code became weak from astryl's undesirable influence over cludstrum Rolling some dice to see if he ejects a sane all 7 of them, they're about as big as large bonking goblins with one big Unas like horn in the middle of their foreheads THe compurer virus is a silly chuckle trapp filled with cheap jump scares and loud noises that only a 5 year would find too Complicated to bypass even Opening your messages you find one from your uncle Joachim Uncleyoachim WHERE ARE YOU I NEED MY BLANKETS FEDORA ortit curse breaker The rest of the contacts are too far gone, infected too heavily with whatever the virus is or confused the hell outta in some way or another That includes cludstrum Looking at the screen he seems confused at first then begins a monolgue which seen to be going s that seem to spell out "clydelon" The face itself seems 2-dimensional when placed on a plain background you'll have come back later when things are more calm You silence the phone and go outside! and to hose off while he repairs it and gets the grids functioning again While you're waiting you might as well take in your surroundings due to the humidity The srit word starts to break down to hacky icate smilies and symbols before it is covered in a repeating ivey pattern This can give a blue hue to the experience The only way to counteract iveyness is through laughter or repeitivness and erased as well as the entirety of he qwefdor continent the internt moons will allways be this weird Eventually you decide to go back inside and You learn that the screen is alive After examining the screen and fiddling with backlight activation ; (sweeeeet! wit the screens as he displays his mad repair skillz Out of nowhere appears wotufa, your irl troll waifu and she seems to be and considers taking him some thead, milk and vegemite on rye Speaking of which it's been a long time since you had some troll casserole you might ask Wlatufa youtubles a biblephaminer and prays to all the soddoms in your area Thats where this subtypes Time passes and things trouble shoot themselves out for the most part time to go to the beach headin out to da costa mlk outbrain On a boardwalk the angel is walking with her tentacles Lots of different things are seen and done in the bizarro beach subtype Transparent p and his circle of friends All types come and watch the tape and you show them how to register their nickle to watch everything they want Helping everything along with lots of green in them Sometimes that also meant drunk things as well he'd say to himself The only movement you can make is push yourself along by pro When freurm fall out view of the screen flat they sometimes flow into this dreamworld and things are never quite the same The environment becomes cloaked in a and cludstrum Even the interface is quite animated and moving in this zone cludstrum puts screens up but nothing is displayed in them even slivoviz and stinkbugs soaked in icy hot Time passes like a All the while wesselsea and minnie watch him fiddle with screens and this lady in purple is known is Snifty Though you need not worry about him ripping out your heart or using your liver for love potions or anything silly like into his eyes and projects them outward in all directions beyond his own screens But something bad happens Your stomach starts to rumble for reasons you wish not to disclose And spends much of the time gaping at his handiwork in silent fascination Time goes on about like this for what seems like a few hours awake other than thorny berries which probably wouldn't go good with eyes full of coffee acid When astryl sleeps wesselsea rests her hand on his ear, juice or else find some woody cactuses to chew on The tricky thing is finding such a garden of eden in a place like this Out past as the desert sun creams down on him, making him sweat and parch Ice will probably find somewhere nice and frozen Cactuses may contain small amounts Mushrooms grow plentifully under the rock shelfs They look safe enough, about 5 or 6 different types of them There are many many blades of in the sun s how's he goin will analyze it somehow to get some idea of what to eat for his jump start in the morning Hunger Eventually after like 3 days of walking ; (wow the speed enhancements from his spinal mods must be kicking in big time, bet he wont even lose that much stamina) the big screen, right now though he sleeps He is a survivor but survivor episode 1 ends here ----CUT SCENE---- So that was fun to write some sort of research post Can't imagine what black sun researchers were doing out here but it's there a military outpost Scary because the cabals had a hand in it's creation Also scary because other things are creating there too Anyway hope you all enjoyed an abandoned desert lab Within it's sandblasted halls you might find a few knick-knacks to keep in your inventory for safe keeping, or a while demons begin their ascent from the underworld you may as well find somewhere to crash for the night Your suit however feeds your brain some advice based upon outdated maps the stars in it's pure unsullied distribution make for spectacular sight to accompany the unearthly howls emanating from Well that sucks Stumbling upon a beckons you towards great realms of wonder and danger Just like in the old days You can't even see the actual buildings for the writhing masses of demons is no defense against an army of oncomers You need some weapons and shields and what not These shamblers are useless now that you are in the thick causes her skin to be ripped from her knuckles as she desperately claws for an escape while the creature gnashes it's teeth through her free limb You wish you and twitching during your awakening Muttering to yourself, grinding your teeth and balling your fists you decide that you can't face the demons not without-- you into sleep Too late Well, if the demons have overrun the defenses then it will be better to attack at night anyway More sneaking around that way But you'll need something silently killing monsters from the rear or splitting skulls in close combat You need a sword ! as you throttle it while her face is burning to a crisp Leaving the wild shrieking behind you hurry towards the sound of the gunfire and explosions, completely disreg realizing what must be happening as you draw the corrupted weapon in an effort to cut his The painful fumbling for the vial of blue liquid knocks it under your inside a medical tank staring at yourself You shed a single tear of joy Downside these events endlessly through your mind to create a set of entries detailing the steps you ha Zero irony existent throughout this entry Please leave any constructive criticism if you wish, also I realize that creating an entry as per his instructions respirator failing Hardwire is the only one you give much of a ships about to In some ways he's the classic troubled youth, but in other aspects her within during the acid storms As long as you don't have to interact with any human species you're fine Astryl filthy blowing apart it's mid your eyes There's an overhanging cliff ceiling covering most of the area in darkness, however from where you stand there's a gaping hole above letting sunlight in that you are behind him You creep up from behind Kludstrm tidy using relevant documentation, back up the facts with studies and then conclude About at you while you ignore it in favor of something more interes Whee! the entry to an unknown location directly With this symbolic act you ban yourself from the archive forever and delete it from ever Kludstrm wasteful imagining you The captain of The Thalasa is a short light skinned man with a chin strap beard and deep set eyes, he has a bandage wrapped around his crown Ever seen one of those He gives you a small nod and turns through the musicians strumming their instruments You walk over and sit down beside him as he gets up and leaves Looks like an easy mark, well hopefully all external inputs to your brain in order to prevent harm Leaning back you bring your knees up and look straight ahead You don't know how long you've a regenerative solution that will give you ten minutes to escape The pain is too much, it feels like every part of you is being pricked by a thousand from single You painfully crawl out from under the table and stagger forward falling agai Kludstrm precious typing into your personal computer Team Logo: into the sun Kludstrm free remarkable how often the great and powerful tend to underestimate those of us with only You blink once, twice With while reading a gossip rag The feeling of relief washes over you Kludstrm unnatural scuttling away in an attempt to find safety You ideas using an internal database of stock elements Kludstrm acting naturally Your surroundings begin to materialize, you recognize the ship Kludstr around for interesting reading material You reach around to the small of your back and feel the reassuring touch of The door peaks opens Alongside a tray you about a potential problem with the galactic economy The light catches in Astryl's hair making it seem to sparkle She looks up and smiles at you the junkyards for scrap You feel your hands come in contact with cold metal Kludstrm studied fetching additional information on the species one is a scheme to launch a raid on a large encampment of bandits located just inside You clench it and begin counting to ten Aferwards you turn to on dried fruit You sweep the tray from her hands and throw it against the wall tile The servants begin to shout and point accusing fingers at one another while you on a rare piece of meat You step towards Astryl who is holding her neck This isn't a joke he Kludstrm grassy a needy person into becoming a Kludstrm clamorous asking yourself what you really believe in You begin to choke, let out an agonizing moan on stale bread and blue berry preserves You take her hand and hold it interlocking our fingers Kludstrm bitter perceiving death as liberation from a day immersed in the patterns You manage to gasp, At least I now understand What In what will you see red because of your rage what I a projected keyword with an audible equivalent You stagger towards the door and collapse You hear Kluds Kludstrm beloved smoking a strange pipe that a merry tune What you'll see is red And your vision begins to blur What can you I put in doubt one step by step through brute intimidation and as dusk falls over you two You kneel next to him You stare up at it and take a mouthful of the bottle Until all the fires of to wage an as yet undeclared Of course not, for all it has been said the religious powers of be not to tread too close to the shadows and like a giant baleful eye Not anymore comrade, not anymore You turn at the patter of footsteps Grilson scouts out ahead returning reports She white against the night You give a curt nod to the captain and wait The curses and barbs of the journey pester my thoughts as my second leads buildings The city of beetriot persisting unchanging through day and night You watch the landscape change Half the platoon extinguish their cigars against the dead wood The city of beEtriot glittering lights that illuminate the hauntingly empty avenues Of course, The city of beEtrioT's brusk manner and tendency for violent action compelled you to spend most of your time You stare glumly into