#wanna burp go ahead??

[mothalaalee]

home is where you can be the exact opposite of demure and mindfull

[pedge-page]

I’m absolutely IN. LOVE. with ur Joel/baby Sarah/wife!Reader masterlist and all their wacky adventures 😍🤪! When u have the time and if u feel drawn to the suggestion, I hope to see reader and Joel have a cute hubby & wifey moment (either before or after Sarah, ur pick) and not just Joel having high blood pressure all the time 🤣. Have an awesome weekend!!! 😘

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: My Wife, My Love, My Life

notes: thank you for the request! Decided to make this one after Sarah is born but the focus towards the end is Joel and Reader.

Warnings: Oral m!receiving, blowjob, facial, very brief unprotective penetration

18+ ONLY

- - - -

You didn’t ever think this day would come. Not now, not so soon at least, but certainly you had hoped it would never come.

Yet as you packed your suitcase, your eyes welled with tears. Your bedroom, the one you’d shared with your husband for years for every single night you two were together, was about to be foreign. No longer sharing his warm embrace, his caresses and morning kisses.

 You were leaving him behind.

 Memoriese placate your mind, routines and dents of the bed were about to be disrupted for the first time, and your heart ached at the idea.

Worst yet, you were leaving your own daughter, your sweet little angel who was not even one year old. She’s too young, should you even be separated from her at this age? How badly would this scar her? How much would she remember her own mother, who showed nothing but love and care and smiles for her entire existence, how much would that penetrate her memory of you as you abandon your family—

“Are you crying’ again?” Joel asks from the doorway. “It’s only a week!”

You sniffle and toss your blazer into your bag, avoiding him. “I don’t wanna go.”

You’re just traveling for a brief work trip just for the week then you’ll be back this time next Sunday, but STILL. All of those things hold true(ish), and it still hurts to have to say goodbye—

“Would you relax, honey. Christ.”

Even if your husband doesn’t care, you know Sarah will feel the pain of her own Momma leaving her behind with no reason she can possibly come to understand—

 “You are so clingy and needy—“

JOEL WOULDYOUSHUTTHEFUCKUP I'MHAVINGAMOMENT, DAMNIT.

You sigh heavily and zip up the bag before lugging it to the ground. He raises his eyebrow as you storm by, his arms folded with a bemused smirk.

“Oh it’s funny to you? Guess you do want me gone—“

“It’s a week,” he reminds you firmly, his hands rubbing along bothy your arms. “It’s gonna be like a vacation for you!” 

His words of encouragement suck ass because your ideal vacation is with your family. No, this was more like hell. 

And Joel seemed to be loving every minute of it.

“Don’t forget ya moisturizer, oh and I packed ya some snacks for the plane. Plus some pepper spray, which you gotta put in your checked bag cuz they ain’t gonna let ya through security. Your passport is in your purse already…” 

He was practically ushering you straight out the door. Running around the house like road runner, athering everything ahead of time, getting your little carry on and security tag and even breakfast quickly made for you to ‘make you not worry about a thing’.

No. The fucker was getting rid of you for sure, and glad of it—

“Stop sitting there with that face,” he says.

You sit down and shove your eggs in your mouth. “What face?” You snap.

“The ‘he’s intentionally trying to get rid of you’ one you got on right now. Just want ya to be prepared is all.”

You quickly wipe your expression but scowl at him when he has his back turned. 

After breakfast, you kissed your baby goodbye. She was still sleeping soundly in her crib. Joel supervised you from the hall to make sure you didn’t try to sneak her into your purse so you could take her with you.

“Ok you have enough milk in the freezer and some already thawed in the fridge when she wakes up. You have teething rings, you know how to heat her bottle, you have her burp blanket—“ you list each one on your fingers as he backing you up to the car.

“Yes,yes,yes,yes! Honey, I got it all—“

“I bought groceries already for the week —“

“And if ya missed anything, I can go grab it myself. I can cook, you know that. Got ya in bed with my food before so—“

“Joel I’m serious.” You stop him. but as you think it over, you know he’s right. He’s like a pro at taking care of you and Sarah. You’re just trying to avoid the feeling that she’s gonna miss you gone. 

Maybe she won’t even notice you're gone…

Joel catches your eyes faltering, lips trembling as water shines in your eyes. 

“Nonono! It’s gonna be okay.” He hugs you, his soft hands securely stroking your back until he can feel you breathe slowly again.

“I know I know. I’m just. I’m gonna miss you both.”

“The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back,” he hums reassuringly. 

You pull away and frown. “Definitely looking forward to getting rid of me—“ you seethe under your breath.

“OH GET IN THE DAMN CAR.”

-

Joel just got the text from you that you on time and safely boarded onto the flight. He knows you’ll be out of contact with cell service for the majority of the week since you were going to be out of the states, so he’s glad you were able to message him this last time. 

And while no he was NOT glad you were leaving, he wasn’t complaining either. You needed some alone time. You were preggo monster for 9 months and now non stop mom ever since. He could tell from the bags under your eyes and short temper that you needed a little vacation. It didn’t matter if you realized it or not. This conference was a blessing in disguise. There would only be a few hours a day of work stuff, then you could go to the pool, the gym, get a massage, anything you wanted was included.

And he’d get some fantastic quiet time without your nagging just for a little. A mini vacation for him too for the first time in…well, ever.

A win-win for you both.

Sarah was just rousing from her sleep, stretching her arms wide with a big yawn and wiggly toes. He sends a quick pic of her with her hazy eyes before scooping her up.

“Ready for some food, girlie?” He nuzzles his face into her chest, and she giggles happily.

It takes probably 5 minutes of Sarah sucking down her bottle in her high chair on her own before she’s looking around the strangely vacant house.

“Mum-ma?” She asks curiously, just as Joel returns to dump some cereal on her tray.

“Mommy’s left to go go on a trip. Just you and me this week, kid.” He rubs her head affectionately.

Joel really didn’t expect Sarah to fully grasp anything he says, but evidently she did understand “mommy” and “left” and that was it.

Her face scrunches up and she immediately launches into the loudest cries known to man. 

Joel was prepared for this. “Okay, okay Sarah, I know, you miss Momma,” he grabs a host of items: her pacifer, her bunny stuffed animal, her favorite chocolate that you told Joel she couldn’t have but he whips out for energencies like this. Even with his smiling face level with her pained one, wiggling each item excitedly, nothing seemed to be doing the trick. If anything, she wailed longer and harsher, kicking the table and slamming her bottle down until it rattled to the floor.

He eventually picks her up and tries rocking and bouncing, but she just shakes her head furiously. Her face is all red, fat tears dampening her little cotton onesie, with one hand scrunching his shirt and pushing him off. “You get this drama queen shit from your mom,” he tuts.

He sets her down on the floor, and Sarah immediately starts crawling towards the garage door, pointing to Joel to open it.

“She ain’t there, baby. She’ll be back—“

She screams harder, aggressively patting the door and looking back at him like she’s pleading.

He scoops her up again and takes her to the living room. He’s running out of ideas to get her to settle. Checked her diaper just in case, rejected any food, all toys were no hope. He was gonna lose his hearing at this rate.

Joel thought it would take at least the rest of the day before she would notice but this shit might be harder than he thought. If she kept huffing and puffing to keep taking a scream, or shed any more waterfall of tears, he’d have to take her to the hospital for dehydration and shortness of breath.

Sarah crawls over to the couch and yanks on the dangling blanket, pulling down pillows all over top her. He chuckles as she disappears into the mound, but can see her little form navigating from the top. Finally, the sandworm baby stops moving, and he notices her crying desist.

“Oh shit. I already killed her.”

He gently pulls pillows away until he finds Sarah with her face down, diaper bum up and her nose buried in your favorite blanket. She was smelling your scent, and that seemed to calm her almost immediately. Joel sits down and pulls the blanket free, and Sarah panics, reaching out for it desperately. He hands it back to her, and she grips it tightly, pushing her face into the soft coziness. It was still slightly warm with your body heat. Since you use it every time you’re in the living room, it smelled exactly like you.

Sarah takes a deep breath, clearing her cries. She crawls into Joel’s lap and tugs as much of it as she can along with her, sitting down between his thighs and cuddling the blanket around her.

Joel grabs the other end and smells it, and your scent floods his brain with endorphins. “I miss her too, bubba.” He leans and plants a kiss on her head, giving her the pinky back into her now accepting mouth.

She continued to play with her toys on the floor, blanket right next to her everywhere she went. Sometimes, she would just pause and nuzzle her face into it, sighing deeply and then continuing. Even Spoon was feeling the effects. Curled up by the door, whining occasionally, but otherwise just guarding the entrance, waiting for your return. Joel even pitied the big girl and allowed her on the bed so she could curl up into your spot.

Sarah was on her best behavior as much as she could be. She only cried when she was hungry or needed changing. She understood there’s no humor in bullying Joel unless you were here to punish him. 

Things were going great so far for him. 

And Joel felt pretty relaxed too. He could catch up on some programs, get some work done, go to bed when he needed it. It was peaceful.

But it wasn’t until a few nights in that he noticed life wasn’t as dandy. And it wasn’t Sarah that was making it evident.

It was him.

-

As you board your flight back home, nothing brings you more peace of mind than imagining walking back into your house. 

Joel was right, this was somewhat of a mini vacation. And while it was nice, the bed wasn’t right. Didn’t matter how much money they spent on the king sized memory foam body conforming mattress with silk sheets and pressure release pillows. It just wasn’t the same as the 10 year old spring queen sized mattress that you and Joel had been cramming your asses on since you moved in together and the flat-no shape pillow that you had since you were in college. No amount of Michelin star chef prepared meals could match Joel’s empanadas and rice. 

There wasn’t even anything to compare to being curled up with Joel and Sarah on the couch, watching tv until you both fell asleep in his strong, secure arms.

So in the end, you were right (as always). And damned be Joel, but you wouldn’t be listening to him ever again. If you have to go on a trip again, you’ll just bring them along or quit your job. Easy peasy.

Part of you wonders if he was still having a superb time away from you. Doing all kinds of work around the house without you nagging or asking for dinner, or having him fetch a billion snacks for you because you’re too lazy to get up, or rub your feet or your back or your calves or your clit, or getting a blanket or turning on the fan…damn you were annoying as well. And he does it all. He’s probably gonna see you walk in and sigh disappointingly, joking that he wished it lasted longer. You wonder if he and Sarah now morphed into best of pals, and she no longer considered you her #1. 

Oh fuck, I’m gonna start crying on the damn plane.

 By the time you landed, you couldn’t get in touch with Joel. you had received a text selfie image of him and Sarah smiling with the caption “Can’t wait to see you!”. You smile to yourself. God, you’ll risk getting a ticket just to speed home right now.

1.5 hours after you drive home, you open the familiar door. The aroma of home surrounds you, and you couldn’t be happier.

As does a squealing baby being carried by your big ass husband, who both immediately attack you out of thin hair with warm hugs. Spoon wags excitedly beneath you.

You nuzzle yourself into Joel’s neck just as Sarah nuzzles herself into your chest. The four of you stand there for moment, eyes closed and silently grateful.

And wafting. 

Joel and Sarah’s noses and Spoon's especially were twitching and sucking in air against your skin and clothes, more so than hugging you.

“Oh are we…we are smelling me…” you say matter-of-factly but a little confused. Shit do I smell that bad??

He’s about to say something when you snatch Sarah and begin talking to her. She  comfortably hands on your hip as you two chat (well, more like you chat and she babbles excitedly but you return the audience). It was late, and as you rocked her to sleep in your arms, you set her down in her crib, rubbing her belly softly as she soothed to sleep.

You close the door behind you when another hand gently clasps yours.

Joel doesn’t say anything, which surprises you. He’s more stoic than usual. He takes you down the hall and into your bathroom and turns on the tub.

He starts shucking off your clothing without a word. Shirt over head, then bra clasp, pants unzipped and dragged down. you can’t even stop him, he’s so gentle yet determined. and truthfully, you didnt have it in you to give him return home sex he’d probably been missing.

“Joel,” you say softly, and he shivers. “Um, I’m a little tired, but I promise tomorrow I will—“

“Tub,” he commands. 

You tilt your head in confusion but step into the basin, now stark naked. The water is just perfect. You sink in until it’s level with your chest. Joel mixes in some suds and pulls his mini stool next to the edge, and begins massaging your shoulders.

“Oh honey you don’t need to do that,” you insist. “I got a massage when I was there…” 

He doesn’t say anything but keeps going. And it’s not until he really finds your sensitive areas that you realize you do, in fact, need this. You sigh contently as he works the particularly troublesome knots in your shoulders, then gently over your neck. His hands, god you miss those hands, feel like heaven. After a few moments of you letting out soft moans, he lathers your expensive ‘for rare occasion’ shampoo and begins slathering it in your hair. With exceptional care, he works his fingers in circles, and you can feel your eyes going cross eyed with the thorough job he’s spoiling you with. Your whole body feels relaxed like a warm sheet of butter folding into a decadent pastry.  You simmer and sink down even lower, indicating you’re incredibly tranquil. 

He still remains silent. You can’t see him as you face the opposite end of the bathroom. Just the two of your breathing falling in sync.

Once finished, he pats you dry with fresh and warm towels, carries you bridal style to your bed.

You think now maybe he’s gotten you ready and pliant so he can rail your back out of place, but instead, he lays you on your side of the bed and tucks you into the sheets.

He tosses his socks and plows into the bed on his side, crawling up to you and putting himself face down into your chest and neck. He takes the biggest, longest breath possible through his nose before letting it out with a satisfied hum. Closing his eyes, Joel allows himself to relax, surrounding himself with you, his hand protectively over your stomach and absent-mindedly swishing back and forth with his thumb.

You giggle, smelling his sweet brown curls and rolling his hair through your fingers. “Did my clingy needy husband miss me?” You tease.

He’s already snoring and drooling into your breasts.

-

Joel’s having an out of body experience right now, and he can’t tell if he’s dreaming. There’s a fantastic, tingling, pleasurable feeling dancing along his entire body. He stirs slightly, letting out an audible groan. Something is warm against him, wet and moving, and it feels like a massage from heaven. He can’t exactly piece together what it is, still floating through his subconscious trying to rouse him awake, but still so blissfully relaxed he can’t quite fully awaken yet. He was out so deep last night in your embrace. Surrounded by your presence, your smell, your touch and breath and love and body. 

His lashes flutter open, and the ceiling blur takes shape before him. He’s lying on his back in the bed, with something heavy against his lower half. sounds make their way to his ear, his own rugged gasps getting louder as the sensations more clearly are identified, sending signals of euphoria to his brain. He rasps out, eyes widening, and groggily tilts his chin down to see you; your mouth sloppily taking his hardened cock over and over, slurping the saliva and coating him with your talented tongue. You suck on his tip before working down his massive length, your other hand expertly jerking in rhythm what you can’t fit.

He chokes, still unsure if what he’s seeing and feeling is a dream. He hopes it’s not a dream. 

The sounds from his throat cause you to peer up. A slight warm, loving grin tugging at your lips to make eye contact with him as you give him the morning blow job of his life.

And that does it for him. He yelps, stomach tightening before hot ropes of his seed shoot out of his tip like a canon. You bare down and suction your lips to his pulsing dick, feeling each throb deposit his sticky hot cum into your mouth. You gulp and gulp over and over, not nearly quick enough as his cream overwhelms you and bulges out of your cheeks. Even after you’ve coughed, his cock doesn’t stop, splashing all over your face in ribbons, one after the other, as he lets out drawn out moans, eyes rolled back and head arched into the pillow. He’s seeing stars, ruining your face like a mud mask of his spent. By the time he’s finished, he looks back down to see your slightly shocked expression, mouth agape with cum pouring down your forehead and eyelids, cheeks and chin, back onto his stomach.

He’s struggling to return from cloud nine. Brain hasn’t been this foggy even when high and drunk. He feels like sinking into the mattress and retiring from life.

You finally chuckle at his current state. “You didn’t get off all week did you?” He shakes his head side to side, eyes closed. You crawl up next to him, using his bedside tissues to wipe your face clean.

“I hope you liked it, I couldn’t wait for you to wake up—“

“Quit your job,” he says quietly.

He opens his eyes and rolls over to kiss your forehead and lie on top of you, his body conforming to yours. You feel his face nudged into your neck again as his back relaxes. You give him a confused look.

“I’ll take on extra projects,” he continues plainly. “Work extended nights. Just don’t leave us like that again.”

You cup his face in your hands to look at you. He’s sincere, kissing your palms and rubbing his cheek into your touch like a puppy. 

You can’t help but smile.

“You missed me that much? Thought it was a mini vacation!”

He shakes his head. “It sucked,” he pouts like a child, hugging you tighter.

It was by the 4th night in that Joel realized it.

He prepared his solo meal quietly, served Sarah her mushy food quietly, and sat down at the table quietly. With only her little happy coos here and there, and him blowing on his own meal, he never realized just how quiet everything is without you.

Your chair was empty. Your side of the bed was cold. The house was so vacant without one person that it almost just feels like a building rather than a home. He realized he just gets up, feeds and talks to Sarah and spends time with her, then as soon as she’s in bed, he’s just. Existing. There. With nothing to do. He loved taking care Sarah, but she was pretty self sustaining. She was doing a hell of a lot better than he was. He tried busying himself with housework or TV or construction projects he had been wanting to do, but it all just felt like work. Like everything he did for himself was a chore. 

He didn’t want to do anything if you weren’t there to see him by the end of the day. 

He remembers when he used to thrive when he was living by himself. But he also realized… he hasn’t lived by himself in years. Since before he met you. 

“You know I can’t quit my job, right?”

He grumbles but nods into your breasts.

“And I don’t want you taking on extra projects. I want to see you at the end of the day too. Tell you this: if I get another conference, either my family comes, or I don’t go. Deal?”

“Deal.” He kisses your chest before shimmying his way up your body until he’s fully over top you. “Otherwise I’ll tear your boss a new asshol—“

“Joel.”

“I’m just saying. Everyone wants to keep ya from me—“

“Joel.”

“N’ as your husband and baby daddy, I have a right to say where you put that ass every night and it should be right up against my di—“

“Just kiss me already.”

“Yes Ma’am.” He captures your lips with his hungrily. You feel his knees nudging yours apart, slotting himself perfectly between your bodies. The freshly hardened tip of his cock breaches your entrance, but Joel doesnt even let you gasp. His lips remain sealed on yours.

 He wasn’t going to let you get away that easily again. Not even for a second. 

- - - -

Taglist: @harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[bring-forth-his-sac]

Thank you sm (I’m the anon who sent the ask) 🥹 & wow I’m so shocked you’ve only wrote a couple drabbles/imagines because it was honestly so well written! I saw a prompt on pinterest for “you make me proud, you know that right?” & it’s where the reader/character is pregnant & negan is just all soft & proud of her if that makes sense 🥹 if you don’t wanna write this topic it’s all good don’t worry!!! 🫶🏻

thank you so much for the request!! I hope you enjoy <3

Summary: Negan realises you’re insecure about becoming a parent and gives you some much needed reassurance 

Pairing: Negan x Pregnant!Reader 

Tags: Pregnancy symptoms, insecurity, lewd and suggestive language, swearing, fluff, Negan being a big ol’ softie, pet names, praise and reassurance 

Word Count: 2k

You don’t know it, and that baffles Negan.

He knows you don’t know. He can see it in those little moments when you don’t think anyone is paying attention.

At this point, Negan is acutely attuned to all of your tells. He sees the emotional tug-of-war within you every morning when you study the new changes to your body. Usually Negan pays subtle attention whenever he sees you looking in the mirror, making a mental note of what body part to praise more during your next session under the sheets.

He sees the sparkle of humour in your eyes as you announce that you, yet again, for about the sixth time, need to go pee because the baby keeps kicking near your bladder.

Negan absolutely loves to see that pouty look of determination you have plastered across your face whenever he tries to help you complete a simple chore. Despite the slow waddling and frequent breaks you need, you’ve been hellbent on still helping out while pregnant. 

Negan appreciates your refusal to shy away from the more "risky" household tasks, like climbing up on a step ladder to paint the higher parts of the wall in the baby’s nursery. Although he didn’t mind being the one to hold the ladder, it just meant he got to stare at your ass while silently praying you don't fall— a win-win situation, if you ask him.

And yet, you still don’t know. Or maybe you just don’t realise it.

He always picks up on that insecure tone of yours. It usually creeps out every now and again but it has been rearing it’s ugly head more often since the pregnancy. If it wasn’t so concerning, it would amaze Negan that you seriously don’t know how good of a mother you’ll be, or how amazing you’re taking on this pregnancy.

Negan sighs, stretching out on the couch as he reminisces. Only a couple of more months from now and he’ll be looking back on the days he didn’t have to burp a baby and stay up half the night cooing at them. 

As he contemplates the sleepless nights and endless cries ahead, Negan can't help but feel a surge of excitement. He's well aware that in those moments, when he's exhausted and cleaning up baby vomit at 4:30 am, he won't necessarily feel thrilled, but goddammit he just can’t wait to meet the little shit!

He snaps out of his thoughts as you emerge from the bedroom, huffing to yourself. “Looking for something, Momma?” Negan teases affectionately, a lazy grin on his face.

“I forgot shoes,” you announce more to yourself than to him.

“Hmm?” Negan hums, not exactly sure he heard you correctly.

“The shoes,” you reiterate “I never got shoes!”. 

Negan struggles to suppress a laugh at how seriously you’re talking about shoes. He’s well acquainted with how up and down your emotions have been since getting pregnant and so he’s trying his best to be more mindful.

“Sweetness, what shoes?” he asks, keeping his tone soft “we got plenty of shoes just laying around the place”.

The second you leave out another sigh, Negan opens his arms to you, silently inviting you to join him. You waste no time in padding over, practically collapsing into his embrace. “I meant shoes for the baby,” you clarify with a frown “we managed to find clothes, socks, bibs but I forgot about shoes! We can’t have the baby going around without shoes on!”.

It takes a moment for Negan to register your words before he slowly replies “I don’t think newborns do much walking”.

Leaving out yet another exasperated sigh, you lift your legs up, lounging on the couch and using Negan as your pillow. “I know the baby won’t be running around the place straight away but...” you pause, silently scowling at yourself “they’re shoes! How the fuck could I forget shoes?! Like, everyone has shoes! So the baby needs shoes too!”.

Negan peers down at you, trying his best to take in your cranky expression. For a moment, he wonders if it's direct towards him for not thinking of shoes either but then you mumble “I can’t fuck up the basic shit like this…”.

And just like that, everything clicks into place for Negan.

Despite his shock at hearing it, there’s no denying the insecurity in your tone. Even though he knew you were nervous about the baby coming, he didn’t think you’d actually beat yourself up over the little things like shoes – how could you? With the amazing things your body is doing, who gives a fuck about shoes?! …Besides you, that is.

Nevertheless, the vulnerability in your voice catches him off guard. Shifting to hold you properly on the couch, Negan’s arms wrap around you, his hands going straight for your bump. You instinctively snuggle against him, your back against his chest as you rest your head by his shoulder and mindlessly trace patterns on his forearm. 

“You ever just stop and think about it?” he asks, his voice oddly dreamy, a tone you don’t normally hear from him.

“About what?” you ask, growing warm in his embrace. 

“Your body took the spunk I fucked into you and you’re making a goddamn baby out of it! I mean, right now, this very second you’re making a mini us out of nothing but your egg and my jizz!” he laughs in pure disbelief, feeling his heart melt at his own words as pride takes over.

You try not to wince at his colourful description of conception.

With a wide grin, Negan continues “Here you are, cuddling up on me as if you’re body ain’t growing through hell. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Darlin’. Carrying life that we’re after making… you’re a goddamn badass”.

“I’ll make sure to give myself some credit the next time I forget about getting shoes… or some other basic thing for the baby” you sulk, showing off that stubborn quality of yours he loves so much.

He shakes his head affectionately, straining forward to try and see your face. “Hon, you’ve got a lot going on right now, and you’re dealing with a lot of new, stressful stuff,” Negan tries to put your mind at ease “It’s totally reasonable that you’d forget some things. And so what if the baby doesn’t have shoes straight away, it ain’t like they’re going anywhere. It’s not gonna make you a bad mother, you gotta stop thinking that way”.

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment before you slowly begin to open up ”But if I can't even get the little things right, like the shoes, then I’m bound to mess up the bigger things too! And I can’t do that, especially when the baby arrives".

As you speak, you feel yourself that familiar sense of insecurity flare up. You tilt your head up and your eyes look up to meet his gaze, searching for reassurance.

Negan exhales, a content smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite your worrisome expression. After all, how can he not smile while he has you in his arms, pregnant with his baby? His own happy little family, despite everything he has done in life. Now all he wishes for is for you to see just how damn perfect you are, how perfect you have made his life. 

“Darlin’, you’re gonna get stressed and forget things, and fuck up every once in a while. That’s how parenting is. Nobody is a perfect parent. We’re both gonna have our moments and that’s a-ok” he explains, bringing one hand away from your bump to gently cup your face, subtly making sure you keep looking at him “you know why I’m so relaxed about it all?”.

“Because you’re not the one carrying the baby? Or dealing with morning sickness? Or because you won’t have to push out a literal child in a few months?”.

He gives you a quick deadpan look, managing to keep it playful before he reverts back to sincerity “I’m relaxed because I know that even when I’m dealing with a baby that’ll be drooling all over me or screeching in my face in the middle of the night, I know you’ll be right next to me, and that’s all I need”.

His gaze remains fixed on you, drinking in your features intently as he holds your face. For a second, Negan gets lost in thought and silently wishes the baby will have your nose.

“You make me proud, you know that, right?” he strokes his thumb across your cheek “so, so goddamn proud”.

You can't help but smile bashfully in response, feeling a bit self-conscious. In a sweet attempt to hide your expression, you pull your face away from Negan’s hand and nestle yourself closer to him, concealing your face. Accepting compliments has never been your strong suit.

“C’mon, don’t go hiding on me now,” he chuckles, gently searching for your face  “I wanna hear you say it, to make sure you know”. 

Defiantly turning to your side, you use both the couch and Negan’s own arm as a shield to keep your face hidden. He grins, amused by your attempt at avoiding his words. He pokes your side, his voice a mix of teasing and affection.

"You know you make me proud, right?" he repeats with a hint of playfulness in his tone, as if trying to coax you into admitting it “riiiiiiiiiiiiiight?”

Negan doesn't show any mercy, transitioning from playful pokes to relentless tickling. Your body trembles as laughter escapes your lips, struggling to shield vulnerable ticklish spots while simultaneously attempting to fend off his hands. Your head perks up again, a light blush on your cheeks; whether it’s from the sudden tickle attack or Negan’s praise is anyone’s guess.

Between bouts of laughter, you manage to get out a word, struggling to speak through the giggles "R-right!". 

Negan beams, happy you agree. Before you can think, he takes advantage of your unguarded face to plant a quick, chaste kiss on your lips - as if the tickling didn’t leave you breathless already.

Negan's voice becomes a sultry purr as he whispers "How about I show you just how proud I am of you? Actions do speak louder than words and all that shit...". His warm breath caresses your skin as he speaks, his intentions alone sending a shiver down your spine.

A pleased hum escapes your lips, already liking the sound of this. “Works for me,” you agree, biting back a smile as you stand.

Before your pregnancy and even in the early stages, you didn't mind ‘doing it’ anywhere, but now that you've reached the second trimester, the comfort of the bed has become more appealing. Negan has never been particular about where y’all get freaky either way, although he does like how you can both comfortably cuddle afterwards if you do it on the bed.

As soon as Negan stands, he gently checks to make sure you're steady on your feet. When you both begin walking towards the bedroom, you suddenly change direction. 

Negan's expression morphs into confusion as you abruptly pivot and walk towards the bathroom. Looking back over your shoulder, you try not to swoon at the endearingly baffled expression on his face. “Just give me a second, with you tickling me and the baby bouncing on my bladder, I need to pee again” you shrug, waddling off to the bathroom.

As the sound of the bathroom door closing reaches his ears, Negan can't help but chuckle affectionately. In the meantime, he strolls into the bedroom and plops himself down on the bed, making himself comfortable as he waits for your return. His gaze fixates on the ceiling above as a smile plays on his lips once more, a warm feeling of anticipation stirring within him.

Sometimes, Negan finds himself wondering if all the hardships and disappointments he's endured in life were necessary because they were all part of some cosmic plan that led him to you. Or at least that’s what he tells himself so all that pain feels like it was worth it because it brought him to you. 

Negan isn’t exactly sure how he did it or what he did to deserve all of this luck, but goddamn he struck gold having you in his life.

And he knows that for certain.

[milkman-zahhak]

Shane's overindulgence at the desert festival

(WARNING. KINK CONTENT AHEAD. READ TAGS FOR SPECIFICS. PLEASE JUST IGNORE IF THIS ISNT YOUR THING)

A quick, messy drawing. It took me all day (lightning fast speeds compared to my usual..) but whatever, it's for me and I like it enough. I decided not to stress myself out about the parts I couldn't draw, like the one hand or the feet. Lol.

I also wrote a short shitty fanfic to go along with it. Maybe help the immersion. Idk. Fanfic below the cut. Sorry for the abrupt ending, I don't wanna make it too long.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆

As the warm wind blew across the desert horizon, Shane stood proudly amidst the bustling crowd of his fellow villagers at the Desert Festival. His eyes sparkled with delight and determination as he made a beeline for the concessions stands. He turned to the farmer, his husband, and let him know about his plan before his lover inevitably wandered off to go explore those freaky skull caves until midnight, as usual. "Heh, remind me to brush my teeth tonight..." Shane chuckled to himself, "...there's 12 unique soda flavors, and I'm on track to try them all." He bought his drinks and sat at the table right next to the food stand. He took a deep breath and raised the first bottlr to his lips, savoring the sweet, fizzy sensation as the liquid danced across his tongue. It tasted pretty damn good. Truthfully, Shane didn't really have that great of a concept for the amount of food/drink intake that can be considered a "sample", after all, he's not some pompous fancy jerk who samples things on the regular. And soda isn't nearly as bad as alcohol, so if anything, indulging in stuff like this was beneficial to his recovery! (<- what he tells himself) With enthusiasm radiating from his every pore, Shane approached the colorful soda stack in front of him on the table with excitement, each bottle promising a new taste adventure. He eyed the rainbow array of liquids, the anticipation making his mouth water. One by one, he carefully selected each flavor, evaluating the flavors, making sure he gave every drink an equal and fair judgement by making sure to taste the whole thing.

As the day wore on, Shane's sips became slower, more deliberate, as he spent his day at the desert festival in a quiet corner chugging soda instead of participating in the main activities. The small crowd around the food vendors seemed to fade away as the hours passed, everyone either competing in the various challenges and games, or heading home. The annoying chatter of people was replaced by a symphony of fizzes and gulps as he swallowed. About halfway through the soda selection, Shane was starting to feel the effects stack up. Each flavor was unique and tantalizing, from the tangy zest of lemon to the exotic allure of starfruit– some flavors were of foods, which he didnt even know how they managed to make into sodas, but they tasted interesting enough that he didn't really care to dwell on it. The first signs of discomfort (or discomfort that interupted his activities, at least) appeared after the seventh sample, a faint rumbling in his stomach accompanied by a bloated feeling. Shane chuckled nervously, rubbing his distended belly as he continued on his quest. The laughter petered out into silence as he realized just how full he was getting. Years of near-deadly alcoholism had cursed him with a bit of a beer gut, but nothing unusual by any means. Shane's physique was far from his highschool gridball days, his flesh now squishy to the touch, but he was healthy enough, he thought. What is unusual right now is that his usually soft belly is starting to feel kinda.. firm. And more-than-kinda loud.

By the ninth flavor, his once doughy abdomen had inflated like a balloon, straining against his shirt. Bubbles of gas formed from all the carbonation, and started to escape from the confines of his stomach, causing him to emit small, embarrassed burps. Despite the discomfort, Shane remained resolute, determined to taste all twelve flavors. His hand moved mechanically to cover his mouth when he felt the signs of an oncoming burp, muffling the sounds as best he could. The few people around him cast curious glances, but he paid them no mind, his focus entirely on the task at hand. He could already feel the pressure building, the gas fighting for release. "*urp... uurp.. * Oh boy..." he mumbled, eying the last few samples with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.

Reassuring himself that this is childs-play, it's fucking soda for crying out loud, he's gotta drink something. And this is like the tamest kind of drink besides plain water, right? Shane reached for the tenth flavor - a bright blue concoction that promised a taste of ancient fruit. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the onslaught of fizziness. As the cool liquid hit his tongue, his stomach rebelled, sending ripples of gas upwards. "*uuurgh*" Shane groaned, his hand flying to his mouth to suppress a much larger belch. *urp.. bhu-uORP* "oof, nnf.." he grunted, before being interupted by a deep, wet, belch.

*bluuuu-UUuurppp* Eyes watering, he forced himself to swallow, the pressure inside him growing exponentially. His cheeks puffed out as he held in a second belch, and he could feel the soda sloshing around in his overfilled stomach. His fellow townsfolk werent anywhere nearby, thankfully. The few people left seemed to all be across the street on the other side, chatting idly amongst themselves. Either due to the late hour or perhaps the sketchyness of street food. He didn't care; he was so close to achieving his goal.

The final two flavors were a blur of sweetness and bubbles. He barely even noticed the flavor anymore. As he brought the bottle to his lips one last time, Shane's stomach lurched violently. He swallowed hard, the sensation of his belly straining against his shorts waa almost unbearable. "*burp* There... *huff* ...we...go..." He managed to choke out between sips, each swallow more difficult than the last. Finally, with a triumphant cry, he downed the final drops and tossed the empty bottle aside and away from his hands, as they instead flew to his stomach, massaging the taut surface as it churned and gurgled. "*uuorlp* Ugh..." He groaned, feeling the full weight of his accomplishment settling heavily in his gut. His stomach was a swollen, gassy mess, but the thrill of victory surged through him, pushing aside the discomfort - at least for a moment. Then, as the reality of his situation set in, Shane couldn't help but wijce with every deep breath. "*hurp* Well, I did it... I sampled every flavor... ugh... All 12! But my poor stomach..." Another burp escaped him, preceeded by a sickly churning in his stomach. He winced at every deep breath he took, rubbing his distended belly tenderly. He couldn't even help it as air was forced up his throat with nowhere else to go inside of his straining stomach. Shane swallowed reflexively after this burp, as if he was afraid of how it would end. It tasted like a sour amalgamation of all the sodas he's drank that day. He grimaced and clutched a handful of fabric from the less-tight parts of his shirt before loosening his grip and resuming the gentle rubbing of his taut belly. "M-my poor stomach... isn't letting me forget the taste of any of them... "*hic-ouurlp* ugh... bleck"

Every shift in movement would cause an audible slosh, The (literal) weight of his soda taste testing was hitting him full force. Anxiety crept into his mind as he realized he has to go home at some point. He has to stand up, get out of this chair, and get on the bus back to stardew valley, and somehow waddle back to the farm. It was getting late. Almost 9pm, and here he is, focusing on his breathing so that he doesn't spew a rainbow waterfall. He takes off his jacket, one he regrets wearing to the desert, leans back and groans. This is going to be a long, long night.

[smellystars]

Trailblazing

Credit: @theleomarspt2

“He looks so perfect” I thought to myself as I looked at him

Sebastian and I have become incredibly close over the time I started working in the chemistry department. I was just an undergrad trying to get some experience under my belt and maybe make some money on the side. Sebastian, on the other hand, was a pretty well-rounded PhD student. He was making a good living with his research and teaching, and was pretty well liked within the faculty. And yet, somehow, he decided to ask me out. Of all people that fawned over him this confident stud decided to ask me if I would be down to go on a hike with him.

“how you feelin’?” He asked, the sweat making his biceps glisten.

“Good…” I said, the puffing in my breath betraying and showing how out of shape I truly am.

“Haha wanna rest for a bit?”

I sighed, threw my bag on the ground and proceeded to simply drop onto the floor. After catching my breath and taking a swig of water I took a second to look at the scenery. It was gorgeous, we were not too far from a small stream with a very slow flow.

“Hey, you want to see something cool?” Sebastian asks.

“Sure” I answered. Sebestian’s face lights up with glee as he starts to move towards the stream. Reaching the stream he squats, the water grazing his cheeks. “Ready” he asks with a smile. “Yea……” before I could even finish the word an ear ringing sound exploded from Sebastian.

PPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHRRBBBBBBBTTTTTT

The once slowly moving stream began to fill with bubbles, Sebastian creating his own personal hot tub. Thou a bit away I could feel the vibration of his gas causing small pebbles and stones to jump around. I watched as the stream began to shrink slowly drying out with his minute long quake. The stream now nothing but a barren ditch, no water to be found.

“Did you see that? Impressive right?” Sebastian asked with a hearty smile. I stood up, amazed at what I had just witnessed. “Wow, I’ve never witnessed something like that.” I said. “How can such a hot guy rip ass that strong”, is all I thought to myself as I watch Sebastian flex in the dried stream. He takes a step out raises a leg and let’s rip another loud but shorter fart.

FFFFFFFRRRRRRPPTTT

“Sorry when the gate opens it’s hard to close.”

“Seb how is that possible?”

The proud smirk morphed into a puzzled face at first, but his confidence came back as he smiled.

“You got a superhuman boyfriend, promise I will keep you safe though” He said, with the charming deep voice I was so in love with.

We continued to walk for about 20 minutes, talking about the chemistry department and what each of us were doing in our program. As we walked, Sebastian was ripping burps and farts throughout but seemingly holding back. I am not sure if I should be thankful or not. On the one hand I am in love with how manly he is, his huge biceps, his dark beard, to have a man capable of such destruction was quite a dream when I think about it. And yet, in reality, it was intimidating to think that one fart from him was capable of dying up a creek. Would we be able to share a living space? What if one night he farted strongly enough it shattered the windows? What if nightly the bedsheets flew away from his farts? I guess I was lost in my thoughts and wandered ahead a little bit.

Fffffffffffffaaaaaaaauuuuuuurrrrrppppppppptttttttttt

A loud fart took me out of my trance. I turned to see Sebastian bending over few feet behind me. Though the I turned around within the first few seconds of the fart, Sebastian seemed to want to make it a point how strong he was as he let the fart rip for a little over forty seconds. As the fart went on the leaves behind him were blown, and the pungent smell, something akin to spoiled beans, seemed to envelope us, some birds even beginning to fly away to escape.

“Now don’t go leaving me behind again” He warned with a sweet smile, as he trotted to catch up to me.

He took my hand and said “Hey, I have a little surprise for you. There’s a clearing a bit off the path ahead, we are so close let’s go”.

We walked over about two hundred feet till we reached the clearing. He let go of my hand, threw his backpack on the ground and kneeled. He took a picnic blanket out of his backpack, a couple of beers and he sat down with his muscular legs extended.

“Come on” he said “the ground is comfy I promise”

I followed his lead and laid next to him, he passed me a beer. We started drinking and talking, he would start burping after every swing too, and I think he noticed how excited it got me cause they only started getting louder.

“So…. what’s the surprise?” I asked

“Two in one deal actually” And saying that, he raised his knee to his chest and winked.

PPBBBBPBRRRRBBBTT

“For one I wanna give you a little test you see” He said as his fart made the blanket flutter and the ground shake enough for me to feel it. He proceeds to lead to his left, his round ass facing me now.

BBRPBPBRRBAAPPRTT

“You see you caught my eye since I first saw you walk into the chem department” His fart was strong enough to push back my hair. The smell hit me instantly and I started coughing.

PPPBBPBPBPPB

“I mean look at you pretty boy, you got an angelic face and a cute slender body” Though shorter, this fart packed a punch, enough that it pushed me back a bit. I could also see a cloud of dust and leaves forming as the winds kicked them off the ground. I ended up lying face up, eyes closed at first, but when I opened them I saw Sebastian standing over me. He squats, crotch to bring his face close to mine, a grin drawing across his face.

PPMPMPRRTT

“And I know you like me too, have watched how you watch me” He said flexing. It felt as though I was laying right next to a radiator. “But pretty boys like you can’t handle dating a human with superfarts” He said “You though, you are holding just fine”.

FFPBRRHHTT

He let out one last fart before he stood back up and extended a hand out to me. Coughing, I took it and proceeded to stand up with shaking legs.

“Well you passed your surprise test, and with extra credit too” Said Sebastian as he pointed to my crotch, which betrayed me as it showed my excitement. “So it’s time for your second surprise”. He grabbed my hands into his and looked me in the eyes.

“Know you know what my farts can do….. You still want to go out with me?”

I took a deep breath, his still lingering gas burning my lungs. Through the coughing fit and red eyes I gave my answer.

“Yes. Your volume of gas will take some getting used to but why would I ever give up this opportunity.”

Sebastian brimming with joy, says on thing, “to commemorate this occasion I’ll show you something extra special.” He takes a few steps away and lays on his stomach arching his back, his butt aiming towards to sky.

“I don’t want any clouds, ruining our first pic together.” And with that the loudest and strongest fart I ever experienced erupted out of Sebastian. The trees closest to us bend either their leaves getting ripped off the branches blown in his foul winds. Animals the vacuity scattering from fear of being enveloped by the stink cloud. A force so strong that trees a mile sway from his winds. I look up to see the few clouds in the sky swirly break apart and dissipate into the atmosphere.

Sebastian gets up with a sigh of relief, “ahh, okay let’s take a picture.”

I walk towards him my eyes beginning watering, I steel myself accepting that this is going to be my life from now on. A smile forming on my face. I reach Sebastian and hug him taking a picture in-front of the clear sky.

“I couldn’t be happier”

[asmileforyourscrapbooks]

It's the summer of 2001.

Joe meets Patrick and he’s like, “Yo! i know about music.” and Patrick’s like, “Yo! I know more about music~!” “THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!111 ...Do you wanna start a band?” and Patrick’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool” and then he’s like, “Yo! this is a bookstore, it’s not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick’s house. so, Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin’ reason. and Pete’s there for some reason. they start playing music together and they’re like, “oh, let’s play some fucking covers from some other bands!” there was like Green Day, and fucking Misfits, and fuckin Ramones. Pete said to Joe, “Yo! We gotta change this shit up!” — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — *sips beer* — “Yo, we played all these bands, let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy” and so Pete and Patrick were like, “Yo, that’s dope. but we need a fucking drummer!” because Patrick’s playing drums and he’s a singer! Patrick’s like, “Yo! I got a soul voice!” and they’re like, “wait! how do you have a soul voice?” and he’s like, “Yo, watch this – YEAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAEEEEEEEHEEEEEYEEEEHEEEEHHH” and they’re like, “ Oh my God, that sounds like soul!” so they put it in a song, it was like, “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTTTT” — THHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — and then they’re like, “Yo, that’s fuckin perfect. this is fall out boy” — *drinks beer* —

And they made records like ‘Evening out with your ex-girlfriend’ Evening out with your ex-girlfriend everybody loves it — “It’s called evening out with your girlfriend” — With your ex-girlfriend? It’s called evening out with your ex-girlfriend. It’s called eating out your girlfriend and it’s real and it doesn’t matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like, “yooo, what the fuuuuuck!!?? YO THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN DOOOPE” so they made a record and it was called ‘Take This to Your Grave’. They made it without a drummer! and they had like three, four drummers come in; the four drummers ahead come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto — tnghhhh — the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they’re like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley.” “Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, fuckin record it.” And he did it and he killed it and he was like, “BEGEDEGEDUGUDLULULUHHHLAHLAH BSHHH” Killin the skins! Tappin the skins! Tappin the rim! Playing the shit! Killin these bitches! Wrappin it out! — THAHAHA YOU’RE GETTING A FUCKING TATTOO RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OON!!?? —

“We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on” they were like, “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is which is not fucking hard -” — tnghhh — “- we will sign you guys” he was like, “yo! we got this record that’s fuckin dope dude!” it’s called Take This To Your Grave. It’s called From Under The Cork Tree, it’s gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick was like, “I gotta keep it real. I gotta keep it artistic. These are - These are three songs that are gonna make the album it’s called — *burp* — this is called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Twenty Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar, We’re Goin Down. And they made this record that was fuckin dope and they fucking hit on the charts like ONE, TWO, THREE! THREE, TWO, ONE! THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEEENNN! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records… ten million records… FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick was like, “THAT’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD”

Pete was like, “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like, “Yeah, that’s cool man whatever I don’t give a shit” and then Andy was like, “Eh. Cool!” and Pete was like, “Makeup is fuckin great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful which a lot of times a guy is not beautiful and i wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful”

— SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. “I’m good so far” “Do you wanna spit one more time?” “Yeah, I do.” SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. NGHHH SHUT THE FUCK! HAHAHA OH FUCK ALRIGHT ALRIGHT —

Pete was like, “Oh my god! I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” and then I saw the dick pic and I was like, “Eh, it’s not bad! It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so PISSED! they were like, “yo, fuck you guys!” They’re like, “YO PANIC! HAS THE FUCKING COVER OF ROLLING STONE!? YO FUCK THESE DUDES WE’RE GONNA FUCKING GO MILES ABOVE! WE’RE GONNA HIT EVERY FUCKING CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!” but they didn’t! because they missed a second of time! Apparently, they were like, “Oh shit we got every continent!” When they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” OOOOH YOU DIDN’T FUCKIN MAKE THE CONTINENT! IT’S LIKE FUCK YOU!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens we fuckin have three four years of awesomeness like people were coming on themselves cuz it’s so big.

Alright, so Fall Out Boy was like —

So Patrick was like, “Yo we’re gonna name this record From ooo - From Under The Cork Tree and from Inninity from EHEHAHA From Infinity on High.

Pete was like, "Yo, Folie A Deux means the theatric of two” — “The Madness of Two” “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” —

Fall Out Boy was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning Pete was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like “I need time for my music - OOOOUUNGHHH” and Joe’s like, “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin art dude i gotta find some fuckin muh-metal” and andy’s like, “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands :D” and they’re like, “Alright, this break’s from like three years long two years long three years long three and a half?” “we gotta fuckin come back man we gotta come back STRONG”

— YOU TOOK MY BEER AWAY WHAT THE FUCK “you poured it all over yourself” —

“We gotta make this shit legit, it’s gonna be fuckin dope it’s gonna go fuckin sky high! we’re gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies!” “skieees” “we’re gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll”

So they made Alone Together, Light Em Up, Alone Together, The Phoenix. Everyone was like, “What the fuuuck?? you were going to the sky you fucking recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” — “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ON MY SHIRT DID I PEE ON MYSELF?” “You poured beer all over yourself” “oh god” —

Pete was like, “Yo, we’re gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots” TAHAHA *burp. spit.*

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. and that’s just how the fuckin story goes.

[pmak2002]

Food poisoning

You are awoken by Timothee shaking you awake. You hear a sound like a gag and a burp. Then you feel warm liquid dripping down the blanket and the smell is awful.

Immediately you sit up and turn on the light. Timothee is heaving and panting over the puddle of vomit on the bed. Looking absolutely miserable.

“Timmy bathroom go now!” You say as you slowly start to get up. It’s as if he can’t hear you. His gagging intensifies and he heaves bringing up more barf.

He finally looks up at you eyes glassy and unfocused he reaches for you puke dripping from his mouth. His face flushed and sweaty.

You practically scoop him up in your arms as you rush him into the bathroom not before he brings up more vomit all over the both of you.

He begins to cry and squirm in your arms. You set him down in front of the toilet and rush to deal with the sheets and your pjs.

When you get back timothee has moved from the floor onto the toilet. His hands wrapped around his stomach.

“Oh Timmy baby.” You frown

“I think you have a bad bug sweetheart.” You say worriedly.

He whimpers and curses under his breath.

“Food poisoning my food at dinner didn’t taste right.” He says weakly.

“Oh sweetheart why didn’t you say anything while we were there? Your parents, your sister or I could have told the waiter.” You tell him.

“We were having such a good time and I was so hungry. Ohh it hurts!” He whined.

“Oh sweetie I’ll get a bath started alright?”

He nods and watches as you start a warm bath for him.

Once he stops using the bathroom. You help him clean up and get him into the tub and helping him wash up. You feel his forehead and find it warm.

“Yup food poisoning alright. mon pauvre cher” you say sadly. You help Tim clean up then let him sit in the warm water for a while.

While you prep the bed for the long night ahead.

Extra layer of sheets on his side of the bed. A towel next to the bed and the puke bucket. You sigh heavily and hope he’ll be able to sleep even if it’s just for a little while.

You grab a fresh pair of boxers and a light shirt for him to wear to bed. He’s almost asleep In the tub when you go to get him out and changed.

“Come on baby let’s get you into fresh clothes.”

He nods and slowly gets out you wrap him in a towel first and he dries himself off.

Then you help him into his boxers. You gently rub his belly before helping him with his shirt. He whines as his stomach cramps up. You gently rub his stomach.

He goes to rinse out his mouth. You stay and rub his back as he does.

“Better?” You ask.

He nods and you help him back to bed. His hands wrapped protectively around his stomach.

“Hurts.” He whimpers.

“I know I’ll rub your tummy once you lay down.”

You get him comfy in bed and your German shepherd Kodak watches from his bed.

You join Tim in bed and he moves closer to be held and you rub his distended belly. You do that until you both fall asleep.

It’s not long before he’s up again and spitting into the bucket. Not gushing barf like he had before but you know it’ll be coming sooner than later. He burps and spits again. You gently pat his back.

“Don’t wanna throw up.” He whined before he lets out a loud burp from deep inside his gut.

“Oh sweetie I know you feel so yucky. But it’ll feel much better if it’s out of your system.”

You rub his back and try to soothe him soon the gushes of puke return as does his need to use the restroom.

This pattern continues throughout the night.

By the next morning you are wiped out from staying up all night with him.

He’s finally asleep though so you lay there and hold him as he sleeps. Playing with his sweaty curls.

You hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. You check to see and realize Pauline has texted you.

Pauline: how’s little bro? Mom said she got sick from her food last night. Dad and I are fine.

You: not good he started 🤮 at like 2 AM it was bad! All over the bed and him and I when I moved him to the bathroom. Start of a long night had to do laundry and run him a bath.

Pauline: Yikes! Need anything?

You: no he’s finally asleep fever of 102.7 but clearly still unwell feverish, pale, now that he’s asleep not as 🤮 or 💩 hopefully it stays that way for a while.

Pauline: ok didn’t need the visual aid

You: You had a baby recently and you’re telling me you don’t need a visual representation of how icky your baby brother feels?! 😝 Wow

Pauline: oh stop it 🤪 anyway let me know if I can help I have a baby but that doesn’t mean I won’t take care of you or bro. Hope he gets better quickly!

You: thanks Pauline hope your mom feels better soon too! This is crazy stuff glad we could avoid it at least!

Pauline: yeah I’ll keep you updated as long as you do with Timmy. bye Y/N

You: will do bye

You put your phone back on the nightstand carefully as to not disturb Timmy who’s dead asleep for the first time in a couple of hours.

You enjoy the silence for a few minutes.

Until Kodak the German shepherd comes bounding up the stairs ready for breakfast and outside.

“Ok ok dog hold on.” You carefully move Timmy closer to his side of the bed. Then get up to go tend to the dog.

As soon as you come in from taking Kodak out you hear the sounds of intense gagging and coughing.

You quickly take off Kodak’s leash and collar before running upstairs to find Timothee clutching the puke bucket and vomiting.

“Oh Timothee. Sweetie.”

You rush over to rub his back and calm him down as he cries through each bout of ceaseless puking. Finally it stops and you grab a tissue to wipe his mouth.

“It hurts everything hurts!” Tim cries.

“Shh I know baby.”

You feel his forehead, and he’s still warm to the touch. You use your thumb to wipe away his tears and you kiss his nose.

"Pauline texted. She said your mom got sick from her food last night, too. Your dad and Pauline are fine and she hopes you feel better soon, and if you need anything, she'll help, okay?" you tell him.

"But what about the baby and is mom ok? Tim asked weakly as he buried his head into your neck.

"Pauline said that just because of the baby. It doesn't mean she won't be here for us. She wanted to check on you and me. She said your mom is sick but she’s doing alright. Don’t worry.”

He nods and takes a deep, shaky breath. You play with his sweaty curls.

“mon amour, comment te sens-tu maintenant ?" You ask in your not-so-perfect french as you plant a kiss on his head.

"C'est horrible. Je pensais que je me sentirais un peu mieux qu'hier soir, mais ce n'est pas le cas." he replies.

"mon pauvre bébé." you respond and hold him a little tighter, and you feel his belly gurgle. Soon, he rushes off to the bathroom. You get up to grab an extra toilet paper roll and leave it outside the bathroom door if he needs it.

Then go tend to Kodak, clean the puke bucket out and clean the rest of the house to give Timothee as much privacy as possible.

You move the now clean sheets and clothes into the dryer and set about cleaning and checking the mail for any bills.

Once that’s done you go back upstairs and clean out the puke bucket in the bathroom, then you check on him.

You find Timothee in bed In only his boxers and socks. Spread out and sweating buckets in bed.

You return the bucket to its rightful place on the towel by his side of the bed.

You smile despite him being so so sick he looked so peaceful sleeping even though his curls were slick with sweat, he was awfully pale and his breathing was a little shallow

You run your hands through his curls and kiss his nose, forehead and checks. He slowly opens his eyes and smiles weakly.

“How we doing?” You ask.

“Icky yuck.” He whines.

You nod.

“Want to try some saltine crackers and Pedialyte?” You ask.

He thinks about it then nods.

“Good sign mon cher.”

You head to get him a small cup of pedialyte and a few saltines then return to the bedroom.

Timmy sits up in bed and pulls the blankets over his lap. You hand him the cup first and he slowly drinks it until the cup is empty. Then he takes the crackers and nibbles on them.

Once he finishes the crackers and puts the cup on the nightstand and curls up in bed again. He reaches for you. Kodak jumps up onto the bed to be included too.

You crawl into bed next to Timothee and hold him and rub his stomach until you both fall asleep.

After a long few days and nights Timothee felt better.

[ryanmarshallryan]

Another vore story inspired by a fun roleplay! Two bros, Jared and Porter, have dinner together, and Porter becomes part of the menu.

Jared and Porter met through a mutual friend who had invited them both over to watch a game a few weeks ago. The pair vibed well with each other and decided to hang out a few more times, which leads us to the main event, or should I say - feast.

Porter came over to Jared’s flat for another game. By the end of their little watch party, the pair of them were starving and Jared suggested Porter stay for dinner.

“I don’t wanna put you out, I can wait to make something when I get home,” Porter replied to him.

“Plenty of food right here, my guy,” Jared said, placing a rather large hand on Porter’s shoulder.

Porter shrugged. Why not stay? Jared got to work making enough fried rice, vegetables, and chicken, to feed a sizable commune.

“I haven’t gotten in meal prep, but I hear it can be super helpful during the week,” Porter said, assuming Jared was making lots of extra to freeze and have later on.

“Oh? Buddy, I don’t think I meal prep in the way you’re thinking. I could eat all this food and more,” Jared said, slapping his gut, and jiggling his 400 pound frame.

Porter lifted his eyebrows slightly, impressed by the big man’s hunger. He offered to help prepare the food, but Jared brushed him off.

“All you gotta do is relax. I got you,” Jared replied, patting Porter on the back. As Jared got close to Porter he could smell his natural scent, and his stomach began to rumble loudly.

A kitchen timer later, Jared and Porter were back on the couch eating huge portions of the dinner together out of oversized mixing bowls. In what seemed like only seconds, Jared tipped the bowl back into his mouth and swallowed the last of the food. Jared got up, and got another helping… and another… and another…

“Hey, should I fry up some sausages? I could do with something thicker sliding down my throat,” Jared suggested.

Porter, who was still working on his first bowl of fried rice and assorted veggies and such, replied, “I think I’m good, this bowl is great for now.” Porter watched Jared get up and get to work again, frying sausages and absent mindedly rubbing his gurgling belly, just barely beginning to distend. Jared didn't even stop to put the sausages on a plate, but just turned off the heat, and swallowed them each whole in succession, then chugged a large glass of water.

Jared came back and crashed onto the couch, rubbing his belly in a clockwise motion. It gurgled and groaned, beginning to digest the monster amount of food inside.

“Are you still hungry or is your belly just gurgling as it digests that big meal?” Porter asked, in awe of the belly in front of him, rising and falling with Jared’s breath.

“Bro, I’m always hungry, sure it’s digesting, but it could always welcome more,” Jared replied, “Hey you gonna finish that?” Jared said pointing at the half eaten bowl of food Porter had been holding. Porter shrugged again with a smirk and handed it over to Jared, who threw back the bowl into his mouth and swallowed the rest whole.

“Hey - I think there was a fork still in there,” Porter started, but Jared burped and chuckled at Porter.

“Caught it with my tongue,” Jared replied, placing down the fork.

A moment passed, filled with the sounds of belly gurgles and breathing. Porter broke the silence, “You know those intrusive thoughts - or is it impulsive - whatever it is,”

“I know what you’re saying.”

“Yeah those thoughts - I just had the random urge to put my ear to your belly and hear those gurgles up close,” Porter said with a nervous laugh, “Sorry, was that weird?”

“Yeah, it was weird,” Jared replied, “But why not, go ahead bro,” Jared slapped his gut and it let out a bigger gurgle.

Porter felt committed to the bit now, and leaned in close and put his ear to Jared’s gurgling belly. The stomach reverberated through him, making him shiver slightly. Porter considered the fascinating human stomach, and how it’s basically a big balloon inside us.

“I wonder how much more you could fit inside,” Porter said under his breath, rubbing Jared’s belly, “What else do you have in the kitchen? There’s bound to be something more in this house to satiate you.”

Jared took a deep breath, smelling Jared’s hair and neck, and realized his mouth was beginning to water again, Jared had an impulse himself and leaned forward a little to put his mouth close to Porter’s head, then shook himself out of it, “Food, in the kitchen, yeah, I have some grapes in the fridge I think.”

Porter got up, volunteering to grab the grapes, and glanced back to see Jared’s face looking after him with a hunger in his eyes. Porter thought to pluck some grapes off their vine, but then decided to just bring the entire container to Jared instead. He glanced over at Jared and saw him licking his lips, and was surprised to realize he could hear Jared’s stomach gurgles all the way in the kitchen.

“I’m curious, what’s the most you’ve eaten in one sitting?” Porter asks, as he hands the grapes to Jared, who slows down his intake by having just a few at a time, swallowing the clusters whole.

“One sitting? Hard to guage… probably that buffet…” Jared considered, swallowing another bunch of grapes with a slurping sound.

Porter watched as the lump in Jared’s throat traveled down and landed with a little plopping sound, barely audible over the gurgling. “How many plates did you eat at the buffet?”

“Plates?” Jared replied with a smirk, “Hmm if I had to count, maybe like 150?”

“150 Plates?!” Porter realized he was beginning to show a hard on through his pants, and shifted a bit to hide it. “Man you could probably swallow a whole cart of food and still have room to down a waiter!”

“How did you - what do you mean a waiter?” Jared looked puzzled.

Porter laughed, “Well, yeah. I hope this doesn’t sound like making fun of you, I think it’s cool how much capacity your stomach must have.” Porter realized his heart was racing, “Honestly you could eat me and barely noticed a dent in your gut.”

Jared looked at Porter with a serious expression that melted into a curious smile, “You - you want me to - eat you?” His mouths continued to water, and his heart began racing aswell.

Porter shivered, “No - like - I mean you could, but like - it’s a joke,” Porter replied with more unconvincing laughter. Porter wondered if this was some strange foreplay for sex. Jared wondered if Porter’s hesitation was foreplay for vore. To be safe, Jared shrugged it off.

“I’m just messing with you, bro,” he said, “I mean you do look pretty tasty, don’t get me wrong, but it’s chill, bro,” Jared said looking Porter up and down, rubbing his gut and thinking of the quickest way he could get him down into his gullet.

Porter took a deep breath, looking at Jared’s belly, mesmerized. “If you could, I mean like - do you really think you could eat me? Like swallow me whole?” Porter looked up to Jared’s hungry eyes. “That’s crazy, isn’t it?” Porter asked, beginning to hope it wasn’t crazy at all.

Without even realizing he was doing it, Porter got up and straddled Jared, putting both of his hands to the sides of Jared’s belly, rubbing it, and lifting his shirt up to get a better feel of it. It was a gorgeous belly. He wondered if he could fit in it.

Jared’s stomach gave a particularly loud rumble “Hey, I’m still hungry, those grapes didn’t hit the spot.”

Porter looked up at his eyes and spoke slowly “Well - maybe an extra 250 pounds - of man might do the trick.” He smiled with a mixture of fear and curiosity.

“Only one way to find out,” Jared replied, taking his shirt off, and helping Porter begin to strip as well. Porter took a deep breath to slow his anticipatory shaking, leaned down and kissed Jared’s belly. Jared gets up and motions for Porter to sit back on the couch.

Jared took Porter’s feet up and opened his mouth wide, leaning forward over them and swallowing hard. Porter shivered, his feet being tickled by Jared’s tongue, uvula and then tightly squeezed down his throat. Jared swallowed hard again, leaning forward and Porter felt his body lift off the couch momentarily as Jared pulled him deeper.

Jared and Porter shared a look of shock, surprised how easily Porter was sliding down Jared’s gullet. Jared’s shock turned to determination as he grabbed Porter’s sides and shoved them deeper into his mouth. Porter felt Jared’s saliva coating his legs as they were tightly squeezed down his throat. It was like getting deepthroated in the most literal sense.

“Wow you're mouth can really stretch!” Porter said, inbetween heavy breaths and sensual moaning. Jared replied with some mumbled exclamations, and his stomach replied with another large gurgle. The pressure of Jared’s throat let up on Porter’s toes and feet, as they plunged into a mixture of the dinner and grapes they ate before.

“I'm beginning - to think - you might be able - to actually - eat me” Porter breathed out in amixture of sensual elation and panic. His hands grabbed hold of Jared’s belly from the outside, almost subconsciously looking for an anchor to the world outside, as he came to the realization that he was still getting eaten. Jared’s stomach growled in protestation.

“Man, that was so hot - but maybe we should slow down. My legs are already feeling a bit cramped inside, I don't wanna puncture your stomach!” Porter said, his legs squirming around inside Jared’s belly and pushing against the stomach walls, as his hands feel them from the outside.

Jared’s eyes close in pure contentment that you might see on someone breaking their fast. He moans and gulps once again, pulling Porter’s torso into his throat. Porter tried to take a deep breath but couldn't expand his chest with the growing pressure of Jared’s throat. Instead he let’s out a little air in the form of a submissive moan. Jared moaned aswell in some sort of meditative trance, as his gut filled out over his knees. Porter tried jerking his hips and torso to pull Jared to his senses, but that only managed to pull him deeper into Jared’s body faster. 

Jared finally opened his eyes and stared at Porter’s eyes, just inches away from his. They locked eyes for what seemed to be hours. Jared contemplated what to do next, whether to try and let Porter go, or swallow him down like the tasty food he could be. Porter felt mild relief at the pause, but also a bit of disappointment. Even though the prospect of digestion was scary… it was also kind of enticing. Jared still stayed frozen in though, so Porter wriggled a little more.

Jared’s eyes softened almost in a puppy dog fashion, begging for Porter to give in. Porter glared seriously for a moment, then almost smirked with his eyebrows. Why not keep going?

Porter relaxed his body again, allowing gravity to pull him down further. Jared took the opportunity and stood up, letting Porter’s body slump down into his gut with gravity taking over completely. Jared tilted his head back easily, just like he was throwing back a bowl of fried rice. The rest of Porter’s body slid easily down his gullet and filled out his belly. Jared fell back onto the couch with a heavy flop, letting out a roaring belch as he pat his stomach.

“Ooof man, you were delicious, thanks for filling this gut up,” Jared said after a well-deserved deep breath. Porter curled up into a ball, and smelled the mix of aromatic foods, mixed with stomach acid.

“Man this is hot - really hot - but does this mean I’m gonna get - you know - digested?” Porter asked?

Jared stretched out and replied with a yawn “Weeellll,” the word echoed all around Porter, “You are food now…” Jared felt the bumps around his belly where Porter’s body was distending it. Porter felt the stomach walls constrict and relax around him, kneading his body like all the food before him.

“Wow… so you really did eat 150 plates at the buffet,” Porter began, “I thought that was just hyperbole.

“Don’t forget the waiter!” Jared replied.

“Wait, you’ve eaten guys before?”

“Only like two times,” Jared began, “That guy at the buffet caught me in a moment of pure carnal hunger,” Jared continued, reminicing thoughtfully on the most full belly he had ever had, “And well - you know that guy who introduced us? That man covered himself in bean dip and literally asked me to devour him.”

“Wow… that’s kinda hot,” Porter replied.

“I know right? And now you, so that makes three. Willing food is the best. Wish I could eat you over again.” Jared enjoyed the thought of eating Porter again, along with ice cream, a tray of more rice, and began to consider driving to a buffet again and going for round two.

“Well if you let me out… I think I could be persuaded to get back in another time…” Porter said.

“Really?” Jared said curiously.

“Maybe next time, you could just put me in a tub of fried rice instead of eating one after the other…”

“I’m liking your creativity… But for now let’s just enjoy this moment. Let me know when my stomach acid becomes too much for you.”

“Will do,” Porter replied… excited for the prospect of having time to process getting eaten, and make it an even better experience.

[lulu-tutu]

Leo, sipping on a soda: Hey, wanna see something awesome?

Y/n: If you burp the alphabet to me, I swear.

Leo:

Y/n, sighing: Okay, it’s kinda impressive. Go ahead-

Leo, beginning to scull his drink:

[aching-tummies]

Another great prompt here's my inspiration.

I can tell from the sick gurgling I hear in your tummy that somethings definitely wrong. I look over to see you trying your best to ignore the sounds your bellys making and the awful cramps you must be feeling. I can't help but to smile as I decide to see how long you can keep up this charade. I go to the kitchen pouring you another tall glass of milk before walking over to you "here babe you look thirsty" I say as I hand you the glass, your face surprised but still not admmitng what's wrong you quickly empty the glass into your crampy tummy. Just as you do, it moans even louder as your hands dart to your belly, trying your best to soothe it. You look up at me with tears forming in your eyes, pleading for help. "Next time, just say your tummy hurts dumbo." I say as I lift you into my lap, your tummy sloshing at the sudden movement. My hands quickly move under your shirt to feel your bloated tummy as it twist itself into knots. "Wow that milk definitely doesn't agree with you" I see you shake your head and you start swatting my hands away already knowing what's about to happen. I slowly squeeze your lower belly feeling all the milk shift and move around inside your tummy as my fingers squeeze probably a little more than necessary. Every squeeze or rub makes your tummy complain even louder as I hear you moan holding back nauseous burps as you squirm on my lap trying your best to get your bloated tummy away from my prodding fingers. "I hope your not feeling sick already cause we're just getting started!"

Response to this post. Thanks for waiting! Sorry it took so long. Dealing with a lot of SNAFU in jobs and finances. Lots of unexpected expenses came up this month and Savings goals and targets went out the window a while back so I've been trying to make plans and form new habits to try out going forward.

I squirm on the couch as I feel another twinge. It's getting close to noon—lunch-time--and I'm not hungry in the slightest. The glass of milk I downed around 8AM has cleared my stomach-organ, but it's been spending at least the last two hours twisting my intestines into knots. The cramps are excruciating. It feels like something tied my intestines into knots and every twenty minutes or so a different knot gets pulled, as though to tighten it. It started higher up, the first of the crampy tightening around my right side, below the ribs. Next one manifested around my navel-area. There's one on my lower left side, closer to my hip than to anything else. That one's a recent development and that's the one that just intensified, causing me to hiss a breath.

A low, wet grumble accompanies the tightening cramp. My guts are not happy in the slightest. I try to be discreet. I know how you get when it comes to my tummy and I honestly don't think I can handle anything being done to it right now.

“Babe, you hungry? Wanna get lunch?” You drawl lazily. You heard the muffled noise from my tummy and assumed it to be hunger.

“Ah...n-no thanks.” I murmur quietly.

“Ya' sure? Your tummy's growling.” You point out.

“I'm fine. N-Not hungry. S-Stomach's a little...it's just a little upset. You know how it gets. Go ahead and get food if you want some though.”

Quirking an eyebrow as my belly continues to grumble angrily, you make your way to the kitchen. As you fix yourself a sandwich, you pour out two glasses of milk and come back to the couch, where I'm focusing a little too intently on my crochet project.

“Here. At least drink this. I'll feel better knowing you've got at least a little something in your stomach.” You mutter as you set a glass of milk in front of me.

“B-Babe...I'm fine. It's not...I'll just have some tea later.” I pout, scooting backwards on the couch as though to get away from the dreaded glass.

“You can have tea too. Drink up.” You insist, gesturing to the milk as you settle on the other end of the couch with your sandwich.

I eye the glass warily. The opaque whiteness in the otherwise-clear glass, milk--Cold, cruel, milk. My stomach cramps and grumbles at the sight of the stuff. Even so, I know that you'll be upset with me if I don't make a move for it. Warm milk is gross anyway. Sighing and sending a mental apology to my tummy, I pick up the glass and down the contents quickly.

The ice-cold liquid irritates my stomach as it trickles in. My stomach convulses, sending painful cramps reverberating throughout my digestive tract. If individual organs can shiver or shudder like we do when too cold or thinking about something gross, that's what my entire digestive tract has done in response to more milk entering my system. The glass I'd secretly downed this morning hasn't even left my system and here I am introducing more of the toxin to my system.

By the time I swallow the last mouthful in the glass, tears prickle my lashes. I all but toss the glass onto the coffee table as my hands fly to my belly. A series of wet squelching noises burble from my stomach-organ; low, groan-like grumbles echo through my cramping intestines.

“Ah...nnngh...oww...b-babe...I-I don't...uhm...I-I think milk just...just upsets my stomach more...owwww...”I mumble, embarrassed but also craving some TLC for my sore stomach.

You watch my expression pinch into one of pain as I gently massage at my sickly belly. You can't help but think 'that's adorable' or some variation of that as I mewl and whine in pain. It's not enough though. Not yet.

“Hmm? What's that?” You ask.

“Nnngh...b-babe...c-could you...c-could you rub my tummy? P-Please?” I whimper, clutching my belly tightly as a particularly large cramp ripples through my digestive tract, tightening all of the 'knots' I feel in my intestines as well as seemingly birthing a couple more throughout the length of the organ. Little points of pain explode in my intestines, cramping, releasing, cramping again at random intervals.

“Awww. Next time just tell me your tummy hurts from the start, dummy.” You chide. Even so, you reach over to collect my tense, curled up form into your arms, bringing me over to rest against your torso as my stomach gurgles and gripes between us. My stomach rumbles indignantly at the change in position, a cool, sour liquid sloshing back up my esophagus and burning at my throat, making me feel sick at the movement. You spend some time positioning us, my stomach churning sickeningly with each tiny movement. Eventually, I feel your warm hands snaking under my hoodie, directly on the bare skin of my belly. Your eyes widen as you feel the tense muscles and tender organs beneath your palms.

“My, my....something's not agreeing with you. It's so...tight. So hard. You weren't kidding...this definitely feels like it hurts. Sorry, babe.” You murmur, kneading gently into the tense expanse of my belly. A wet, angry grumble ripples from the point you press against my belly, shocking you. “Oh wow...poor tummy. That milk really isn't agreeing with you, is it?” You coo, pushing into my belly yet again.

I shake my head, tears still in my eyes as I squirm on your lap. I swat at your hands, trying to push them off of the sorest parts of my belly. Belly rubs are usually awesome and always welcome, but right now your probing fingers are prodding pretty hard into the knots in my intestines and it really, really, really hurts.

You squeeze, thumb and fingers pressing deeply into the tense area around my navel. I see white as pain flares from the points of contact. The grumbles are constant now, my belly protesting the massage as well as the cruel liquid that's causing so much pain.

I moan as a sour belch presses it's way up and out of my throat. The pressure in my tummy intensifies rather than ebbs as your palm continues to find and squeeze the pockets of trapped gas in my system, coaxing them to move around and bruise up my sore intestines in their journey to be expelled. Hot air rises...and right now my digestive tract is full of four hours of rancid, hot air from the hours-long fight with an indigestible substance.

“Hmm? Hold on, babe. I don't want you getting sick on me so soon. C'mon—hold 'em in. It'll feel even better coming out if you just hold it in a little.” You coax, rubbing my back and making it very, very hard to swallow back against the pressure building in my stomach-organ, demanding release.

[fairyprey]

churned girl meat - day 2

Lana was traversing the mountains, seeking for shelter days after the Voradiation, as others were calling it, hit all life on Earth. A few of her friends had been turned into various sizes, however she only shrunk to be barely 5ft tall. Survival for her was more in her favor if she didn’t have the pleasure of running into a bumbling man or giant. It was unknown the effects it had on the men besides making them much more hungrier than usual.

As Lana’s feet crunched against the dying flowers tucked into the wilderness, she witnessed dispersed clothing on the ground, covered in holes and slime, the last sign of a girl’s existence now if she had the privilege of getting her clothes burped out. It was a further reminder of the new class of societies: Male predators and Female prey. Whatever was in that ship, it turned the world that Lana knew it upside down.

Ahead of her, the girl saw a cabin. There were no signs of life there and if there were, they might have been turned into pudge by now. Though it seemed like a bad idea, going there now was better than being out in the open with a chance of turning into a meal. Lana trekked across the flowers to the wooden cabin; there had been stairs leading up to the rickety door that had a metal handle to it. It was calling to her for her to open.

Her feet took her up the stairs and to the door that was beckoning to be opened. Lana’s hand brushed across the handle and opened it, gaining a small view of the cabin before dropping down into the basement, from a floorboard that gave into weight and swiveled around after.

It must have been a trap… And she was damn well mad at herself that she didn’t see it sooner.

Lana’s knees bruised when she fell into a tall, triangular cage that kept her within. The basement had looked like what a cabin living room would look like to the average person; a lit fireplace, a comfortable reclining chair, and other stuff she couldn’t see due to how dark it appeared to her. The chair swiveled around, revealing a 6’3” man with messy, golden blond hair, brown eyes, tan skin, and freckles across his nose. The look on his face said enough to her. He was up to no good and she was about to find out soon.

A small sounding chuckle erupted from his mouth as he got up, taking his sweet time to come up to her. Lana’s ears heard some sniffs coming from him as well; he must’ve smelled her scent from miles away due to the way he had been looking at her. You know how a crocodile looks at its prey before striking? This was him, except he was said crocodile and Lana was the prey meant to feed and fill his belly. “Well, well, well, now what tasty morsel do we have here?” The man said, his tongue snaking out of his mouth to lick his lips. “My name’s Stanford. I would ask for your name, but I think I’m just gonna call you mine, sweets.”

Stanford eyed Lana, his eyes roaming her tan body that had some curves to it. The shorts she’d been wearing were definitely riding up her. They showed the dips of dimples of cellulite that trailed from her thighs to her plump ass. In his predatory eyes, each of those held centers of flavor for him to lather in saliva and lick endlessly. In fact, he had to look away because he wanted to cherish his food. Stanford didn’t wanna spoil his dinner so soon.

As much as he wanted to gaze at her delicious form, he preferred that his mouth do the exploring. His fingers reached out and stroked the iron bars of the triangular cage that trapped the woman. The muscle in his mouth moved in desperation to finally taste his meal, water from the salivary glands rushing out and gulping down the excess. Stanford was thinking about the potential flavors that coaxed her being. Who knew how long she’d been out in the mountains. The sweat could’ve seasoned her with a salty taste, or the bath wash Lana used could’ve made her taste sickeningly sweet. The possibilities were endless.

Stanford’s fingers tugged the cage open, gaining access to Lana. And like a scared fawn to a hungry fox, she froze. Prior to any of the accidents, she surely would’ve been throwing hands to escape. But her and countless others body chemistry had permanently altered to an unrecoverable state.

Due to Lana’s frozen state, Stanford had free reign to do whatever he wanted to the woman so short, she only reached his shoulders. “Stand up, food.”

Lana did as asked by the man and stood up, her green eyes meeting his brown. In her frozen state, she took a good look at him once again and processed the fact that she wouldn’t be surviving this encounter. It would have eventually caught up to her sooner than later. I mean, how many men could resist such a delectable looking meal like her? And Stanford would make sure to put her bundles of calories to good use. Speaking of calories, his stomach let out a low growl. It was desperate to be filled after being without food for only 8 hours. The catch Stanford had yesterday couldn’t compare to Lana and his belly only confirmed his thoughts. A smirk tugged at his lips and he grabbed the back of her head, shoving it against the growling organ. GLLLRRRGGGGGGG

“You hear that dear? Listen closely…” The chamber let out another growl, the walls of the stomach shaking. It sensed the girl outside it and wanted to let Lana know how much it wanted her inside. It yelled a few more times and the growls vibrated against her soft face. “You’re gonna add to my belly quite nicely. All that meat of yours is gonna get churned, pumped through my intestines, and become fat for me to absorb onto my stomach. That’s your purpose, right dear?” Stanford taunted the poor girl.

Lana nodded, agreeing with the sentiments made by the handsome man that was her predator. He chuckled darkly and licked his lips, preparing to devour her and deliver to his gut. Stanford wrapped his rather large hands around her waist, easily lifting her up and holding her close to his face. Despite their not-so-drastic size difference, he wouldn’t let that stop him from tasting her before shoving her into his mouth. Stanford’s tongue slipped out of his saliva filled mouth and dragged itself over her warm cheeks were coated in freckles. The first flavor he was met with was like a nicely seasoned meat that had been topped with salt. Sounds of pleasure left his mouth at the delectable taste and he just had to have more. The tongue snaked across the rest of her face, gaining much more flavor to soak into his sensitive taste buds that felt like small bumps to her.

He pulled away and licked his lips one last time and gazed at her wet face. “I would love to taste you more, my delicious meat, but I prefer you being in me. Say goodbye to your life, toots. Not like it was worth much.”

Stanford chuckled and unhinged his jaws, shoving Lana’s head in his mouth. All she could do was helplessly blink and surrender to the devouring of her. His tongue moved underneath her face and once again, tasted and slobbered all over it. He was acting cruel to make the process worse for her and even greater for him. Her head was hefted up to the roof of his mouth and sucked on. All Stanford wanted to do was take all the flavor from her as he could before swallowing her. The tongue also licked the black ringlets of hair on her head that tasted like butter to him, another flavor that enhanced the savoriness Lana. He began moving his jaw, smacking her around in there with his mouth and drew her closer to the back of his throat. He sucked on her head one last time before swallowing it, depositing it into the tight throat that seeked to drag her down. Stanford hummed around her body as the gulp brought in her chest that quickly got attention from his tongue. The thick muscle prodded it perversely, taking pleasure of licking the areola around her nipples and flicking it with his tongue. With each lick, it had been like her taste became better. Stanford hoped that every future meal after this didn’t disappoint. His teeth came down and lightly grazed against her upper back, lightly chewing. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a few white marks or bruising. He would lie if he said he didn’t derive pleasure from dehumanizing Lana like this. Treating her like food was something so pleasing to him and he almost didn’t want it to end, but hunger called. After teasing the chest once more, he swallowed it down, letting the throat constrict the rest of the upper body that joined Lana in his throat. She squirmed as if it were instinct and struggled in the fleshy tube. The squirming got worse now that Stanford was at her lower body. She felt his tongue lick at her ass and thighs, shoving the tip of it into the bunches of cellulite that were bursts of flavor to him. His mouth moaned in pleasure and he ignored his want to tease her pussy, instead just swallowing that part of her body down until it was just her feet in there. With the additional swallow, her head and chest had met their end: the stomach. Whilst Stanford was busy tasting and indulging in his feed of her, the stomach had greeted her with a loud grumble that loosened some of herself from the throat. In response to hearing his tummy, he swallowed the rest of Lana. Soon enough, her whole body joined the wet, growling chamber. It soon grew tight before… BRUUUUAPPPPPPPP

Stanford let out the gas out of his mouth before patting his tummy, rubbing over the stretched organ that laid his meal, “Oh, darling! You tasted absolutely delectable! Thanks for the free meal,” His hands traced the outlines she made, “Now if you don’t mind me, I’m gonna make you into fat. Enjoy your trip through my intestines. I surely will..” He let out a dark chuckle as the stomach roared. It was now beginning to prepare to digest the woman who was prisoner to it. The wrinkly walls waved against her skin, leaking acid from them. If it was burning, she didn’t feel it. She wasn’t sure why but maybe it was due to the radiation altering her DNA once more. It simply reminded her of her only purpose and ending now: food. Lana soon was being melted by the bubbly acid that gave off smokes of heat. The liquid was melting her meat straight off the bones, falling off like it held no weight to it before. It was doing its job to digest and tear every molecule from its holding to the other. The muscles, tendons, skin, bones, and all. She was only there to serve the man’s body and hunger. Lana was conscious during most of it until her head was being digested. She said goodbye to the world as she was made into a nutritious sludge. From the outside. Stanford was burping up a storm as his stomach rumbled once again. The once mass of meat in his stomach grew softer with each growl and gurgle emitted from it. He chuckled and patted his tummy, hearing the sloshing of the once beautiful girl turned into a mass of liquid.

Lana’s remains slipped into his small intestines, getting squeezed and absorbed by his body. As the hours passed by, his stomach grew in size with each pump of meat getting turned into fat for his tummy. With one last…

GURGGLEEEEE~

Lana was no more. Instead, just the additional skin to Stanford’s tummy and energy. He’d been pleased and laid down in his chair, falling asleep and rubbing his squishy gut.

[outsidersheadcanons]

The gang does gross shit like having burping contests. Johnny is undefeated. Dally comes in last all the time and he gets so mad he skips town for a week. I don’t have much else for this but if you wanna add on go ahead 😭 they’re just teenage boys they’re nasty as fuck

uhhh so #1. You are correct these guys are NASTY 🤢

I love how petty and how poor of a sport dally is to start 😭 bro is DEFINITELY willing to go to jail over a burping contest

I feel like. Steve is a close second when it comes to these contests. Darry is third (but he usually gives up early bc he has more important things to do lol)

[extreme-unorthodox-cuddles]

The eternal cuddly mood lead to the creation of this so here ya go I guess (contains onomatopoeia for swallowing and one burp in case that's not your thing)

"...Oh hey, are you ok? Oh, no no, I'm not gonna hurt you, promise. Come on, I'll take care of ya. Now then, what's wrong? You can tell me.

"...Oh, I see. So it's only you, then? ...Hmmm... Hm? Of course you can stay with me, did I say I would take care of you, after all. I'll keep you safe, I promise.

"...Sorry, I didn't quite catch that... You want me to... eat you? I- well, if that's what you want, I promise I'll take extra good care of you inside me. Just... crawl in whenever you're ready..."

*Glrk...*

*Glp...*

*Ulk...*

*Haaahh...*

"You ok in there? ...Ok, good. Just let m-" *urp* *ahem* "'Scuse me - Just let me know when you want me to let you out. And if you wanna just rest in there for a while, go ahead. You looked exhausted, I can tell you need it.

"Are you... rubbing my stomach? ...It feels so nice... thank you... Just rest now, it'll all be ok, I promise you. Nothing will hurt you inside of me."

[bellysoupset]

I know you said that Luke gets the lion's share of attention, but I'd love to see him maybe getting dangerously drunk at a party with the football team and either Vince or Leo calling Jonah in a panic because they don't know whether he needs to go to hospital...

(bonus points if he drunk dials Bella before he's utterly paralytic 👀)

I LOVED this prompt, it kinda caused the entire break up plot to spiral badly. Now we're here, angst fest. This is a part 1.

-------

Vince was not in the mood to play tonight. Not him and certainly not Leo. They had just recovered from their own turn with the flu and to make matters worse Lucas' had been acting completely off since the aforementioned Break Up.

No one dared to say anything about it, but they were all thinking it.

They were playing at home tonight, which was a relief, because it was a freezing night and Vince did not want to add an incredibly inconvenient bus drive on top of the general down mood.

"Hey cap," Vince thumped Lucas' back as he finished strapping his helmet, "everything good?"

"Yes," Lucas answered roughly, pushing the helmet down on his head. Over his shoulder, Leo flinched and Vince smiled at him in sympathy. He waited until his friend marched ahead before approaching the blonde.

"What do you think?" Vince whispered and Leo shrugged, looking every bit as annoyed as Vince felt.

"I think we're going to lose."

"Yeah, me too."

They didn't lose. Nearly did, but not quite. 33 vs 29. Such a game would normally have all of them in a frenzy in the locker room, euphoric even, but not this time around.

Instead, Lucas was the first out of the field, and the first out of the showers, sitting down on the bench to put on his shoes, while the rest of them were still busy arguing with each other and getting rid of the uniform.

Vince didn't expect Lucas to still be around by the time he walked out of the showers. With how incredibly childish and pissy Luke was acting, he expect the man to have left already.

Instead he was still sitting on the bench, humid towel hanging around his neck and still shirtless, the water dripping from his hair. No matter that it had just started to snow and everyone was rushing to get dressed as fast as possible.

"Okay," Vince moved closer, tugging his shirt down, "what's the matter?"

"Uh?" Lucas raised his eyes, seemingly lost and Vince frowned at him, bumping his knee against his friend's.

"What's the matter?"

"Hey Luke," Aidan interrupted Vince's rant, a huge smile on, "we're heading out, you're joining?"

"Yeah," Lucas opened a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but finally seemed to be startled into moving. He put on the shirt, while Vince raised both eyebrows.

"Where are you going?"

"Celebrate, duh" Mickey slapped his arm, "you wanna join? You can bring Tinkerbell."

"Don't call her that," Vince immediately shut him down, while Leo scooted closer.

"We're going out?" he asked and then very quickly it got out of control and both Leo and Vince were pulled into the partying, even though neither of them were feeling it.

Vince felt completely out of character, being the only sober one sitting on the corner.

"Mikey burped on my face and I nearly threw up," Leo said, slumping down next to him. Maybe not the only sober one, Vince thought, letting out a surprised chuckle.

"We'll just stay an hour and then get the fuck out," he said, leaning back and tugging on his jeans. He had gone down an entire size thanks to the flu, it was annoying as hell to keep pulling on his pants.

Leo grinned, "we could have a beer. Granted I'll probably throw it up, but I don't wanna sulk here in the corner."

Vince rolled his eyes, incredulous, "fuck no. I've been on a liquids only diet all week, I'm not risking it. You go ahead, though."

The blonde shrugged, picking at his nail as they watched their friends have fun. Or something like that, in Luke's case. Whatever he was having didn't seem to be "fun".

"Just one," Leo smiled mischievously and then got up to join them. Vince grinned back at him, thinking the guy was insane for trying his luck like that.

One hour very quickly turned into one and a half when Leo hopped back to the table and dragged him to join the rest of them, exclaiming loudly that just because Vince was going fully sober tonight, it didn't mean he had to pout-

Lucas draped an arm around his shoulders, head nodding along to Leo's giggly speech, "he's right. Sit with us-" then he downed another shot.

"You've got to let loose," Luke said, a dumb smile on, eyes completely dazed, "you've been so pressed this week, calm down."

"I've been sick this week, not pressed," Vince rolled his eyes, shoving Luke away from him in a playful manner.

It was a really cold night and getting colder, even inside the dimly lit pub. They were all packed together for warmth, as Leo explained, downing a shot of tequila that he regretted exactly twenty minutes later, as he lowered his head to Vince's shoulder.

"Nothing is sitting right."

"I'm shocked," Vince chuckled, thumping his back, "just puke it up, you'll feel better."

"Ew, no," Leo shook his head, yawning, "I want to go home, I think I had enough fun."

Same, Vince thought. He had been nursing the same sprite since they arrived and although his mood was a little lighter, he was dead on his feet and wanted to go to sleep.

"Yeah, let's go- Where's Luke?"

"He was doing shots in the back with Spence and Alex...?" his voice trailed off at the end, turned into a question and Vince frowned, looking away from the shitty television behind the bartender, that was displaying a football game, and towards the blonde.

"Leo?"

"Spence?" Leo straightened up, sobering up, "dude- Hey, what's going on?!"

Only then did Vince realize that Spencer was clutching his nose, blood gushing between his fingers, while Alex was holding up a bunch of napkins.

"Lucas'z a duckin'dunt" Spencer groaned, wincing in pain. Vince frowned, looking at Alex for explanations.

"What happened? Where is he?"

"Drunk dialing his girlfriend," Alex scoffed, rolling his eyes, "and crying. We tried to stop him, but he shoved Spencer when he tried to get the phone."

Oh that explained it. Leo exchanged a concerned look with Vince.

"Where is he?"

"Bathroom," Alex rolled his eyes, "you guys think it's broken?"

"No," Leo shook his head, "he'd be in a lot more pain if it was broken."

"Maybe it's time we all call it a night," Vince said, but he didn't really stick around to hear the responses, as he was already walking to the bathroom.

Whatever he expected to find, it certainly wasn't Lucas curled up on a very disgusting bathroom floor.

"Lucas...?" he ran inside, all but skipping to his knees, "Luke, what are you doing on the ground? Lucas, hey!" he shook his friend's shoulder and Lucas let out a groan.

He had vomit on his shirt and blood on his knuckles, all in all a picture of misery. He also didn't seem able to support his head at all, like a baby, "...eave'me-alone," he slurred and Vince's heart picked up.

"Hell no," he cupped Lucas' neck, feeling his rapid heart beat, skin clammy, "Luke, are you just wasted or-"

His shoulders hitched again and more pale yellow puke covered his lap. Lucas seemed too out of it to even feel bad or humiliated by it, all he did was let out another pitiful whine.

"LEO!" Vince shouted, not looking away from his best friend, "LEO!"

"Vin? I'm just calling Spen- What the fuck?!" Leo cut himself immediately as he took in the state Lucas was in. He walked inside the bathroom, crouching down, "Lucas? Luke, hey - Is he conscious?"

"Barely," Vince patted his best friend cheek, "get Jon on the phone!" he bossed, already fishing for his own phone. He struggled to find Wendy's contact, panic making his mind cloudy.

Between them, Lucas let out another groan and dipped dangerously to the side, causing Vince to lurch forward to grab him, patting his cheek again, "Luke, wake up. Stay with me, alright? Open your eyes."

As if actually obeying, Lucas blinked blearily, the fact his eyes were bloodshot making the green stand out scarily.

"Jon!?" Leo squealed to his left, "Jonah, we're at a bar and- And Luke is completely passed out and we don't know what to do-"

"Leo?" Jonah sounded asleep. Vince vaguely tried to think of what hour was it. 1 AM? "Leo, what's going on-"

"Jon," Vince interrupted, as Leo put the call on speaker, "we're in some pub and Luke is wasted. Like actually properly wasted, I- We have no idea what to do."

There was a pause as Jonah collected himself, "is he conscious?"

"Not really, just a little but not responding."

"Okay, if he's awake keep him sitting up, otherwise put him on his side to not choke on his sick," Jonah bossed and then they heard rustling around and the noise suddenly changed. A crowded room.

"He's puked, like a lot-" Leo offered, unhelpfully and Vince rubbed Lucas' arm, trying to keep him awake.

"While conscious?" Jonah asked, his voice muffled by the noise, "were you there?"

"No, we just found him," Vince's heart was in his throat. Had he severely fucked up by letting Luke out of his sight?

"Fuck," Jonah cursed and then his voice changed as they heard him telling the front desk of the hospital, "I need an ambulance to this address- Guys, where are you?"

"Uhm-" Vince struggled to remember, but Leo interrupted him, citing the address perfectly from memory.

"It's not far from the hospital, we're just around the corner of the university..." He added, then sucked in a sob as Lucas groaned and then his eyes rolled back into his head, turning into half moons of white.

"Shit! Leo, move, let's get him lying down-" Vince ushered him, rolling Luke to his side, almost curled up, "is this right? Should we stick something in his mouth so he won't bite his tongue?"

"Is he seizing?" Jonah yelled through the phone, interrupting Vince's worried questions.

"No, but he passed out," Leo answered, planting his fingers to Lucas' neck, "and his heart is really really fast."

"He might have a seizure. Do not hold him or try to stick your fingers in his mouth, or put anything in. All you'll do is choke him," Jonah sounded just as panicked as the rest of them, "check if he's breathing."

"He is, really slow, but he is."

"Alright, just move anything from around him that could potentially hurt hi-"

"Shit," Leo groaned just as Lucas' shuddered on his side and then coughed up another stream of pale vomit, this time all over the blonde's knee next to his head, "he's throwing up again."

"That's good, he's responsive then," Jonah sighed in relief, "three minutes for the ambulance, just stay with him- One of you should go talk with the bartender and see what he drank. Or took."

"Lucas doesn't do drugs," Vince said, defensively and Leo let out a disbelieving scoff.

"He also doesn't get black out drunk, but we're here!"

"I'll go..." Vince said, but didn't move. He couldn't move, "Jonah, is he going to be okay?" he said, voice small. Lucas might be acting like a prick, but he was not ready to lose his best friend. At twenty three? In some dingy pub's floor? No fucking way.

"Vince go check the bottles, the paramedic will need to know when they get there. Leo, check if he's breathing again, make sure it doesn't sound like he's wheezing."

Vince nodded, noticing just how Jonah had refused to answer his question. He got up, stumbling and rushed out of the bathroom.

Much to his relief no drugs had been involved, the bartender spilling the beans the minute Vince said Lucas was passed out and the ambulance would be there in a minute. Just loads and loads of alcohol, so much that the man ended up just writing it all down on a paper napkin, seeing as Vince was shaking too much and too choked up to properly remember any of the names.

"Which one of you is-"

"Vince, Vince," Leo tugged at his sleeve and from the way his nose and eyes were red, it was clear he was and had been crying, "you go. I - I'll just... I'll send the other guys home, I'll meet you there."

"Are you sure?" Vince asked, but he didn't mean it. There was zero chance he was staying behind when his best friend had a group of paramedics lifting him up.

"Yes, go. I'll meet you there," Leo was shaking like crazy, hyperventilating.

Vince nodded, drunkenly chasing after the paramedics and getting in the back part of the ambulance.

"Does he drink frequently?" the paramedic asked him immediately and Vince shook his head.

"No, almost never, actually," he squeezed Luke's hand, while they checked his respiratory vias, "he - He had a bad month, that's all."

"Is he a danger to himself?"

"No," Vince scoffed, "Luke's not dangerous, he's the nicest person I know-"

"No, sir, is he a danger to himself? Do you think the amount of alcohol consumed was purposeful?" the paramedic repeated, stabbing Luke's finger with something that looked like a diabetic device.

"I... I don't know, I don't think so...? No, Luke's not suicidal, no," Vince shook his head, knee deep in denial. He couldn't even wrap his mind around it, but besides just not believing Lucas was suicidal, he didn't believe this was how he'd choose to go, "no, not at all."

"Has he shown any concerning behavior recently?"

"Is he going to be okay?" Vince interrupted, "because you're sounding like- Like he's gonna be arrested or something, he just drank too much too fast. He's fine. He'll be fine, right?"

The paramedic, an older guy whom Vince vaguely remembered from the hospital, opened a small reassuring smile, "we're doing our best."

That was not a fucking answer, Vince scoffed, squeezing Lucas' hand even more tightly, urging him to wake the fuck up. What a mess of a night.

Once they parked, they rushed Lucas inside and ahead of him, but Jonah was already at the doors of ER, in scrubs and looking every piece as wrecked as Vince felt.

"Dr. Cohen is ta-"

Vince shut him up by tackling him into a hug, all of his emotions crashing down on him. He expected Jonah to pull back, but instead he squeezed him a little harder, letting out a measured breath.

"He's all white and... And dead... I- I don't-"

"Vince," Jonah pulled back, tugging on his white lab coat to force some composure, "breathe. Sit down. They're checking him over, there's nothing you can do now."

"Are they... What happens now?" Vince crumbled down on top of a hospital plastic chair, making the seat creak. Jonah shuffled uncomfortably.

"First we need him to wake up. Then we'll keep him for 12 hours on a glycose drip and diazepam."

Vince stared at him and Jonah opened an exhausted smile, "they'll just put him on IVs. It's not as dramatic as on TV... Bella called me."

"What?"

"Apparently she tried calling you too, but... Uhm, Luke called her before you guys found him. Scared the living crap out of her, she's on her way here."

"At... At 1 AM?"

"It's almost 3," Jonah rolled his eyes, wiping a hand over his face, "you should go wash up, you look like a mess. Leo said anything?"

"He should be here in a minute too, he said he'd meet me here."

"Okay, I'll wait for him then," Jonah crossed his arms, "go, Vince."

[hiccupscloud-26]

Hicvember Day 17: Midnight

Hey everyone! Yay for consistency! Not for long though, lol.

Just Indyko and Calliope, you know the drill, lol

Hicvember prompts: midnight/induced

CW

Induced hiccups pt 2

Painful hiccups

Playful teasing

Usage of safe word

Stomach worship(?)

Soda bloating

Burping and belching

Without further ado, enjoy!

Alternate ending to Hicvember prompt: self-indulgent

“Thank you,” Indyko added, placing a kiss on her forehead, “oh, and, uh…your hiccups are gone~”

Calliope gasped, but chuckled, “you tease…but yeah, I think I spooked them away….bummer.”

“Well, if you wanna do an encore, I'm always down for watching a soda bloat,” Indyko half-joked.

“How'd you know I used soda?” Calliope tilted her head confused.

Indyko pointed to the bottle of soda on the floor, “I used context clues.”

“Mm,” she looked at the time on her phone as she stopped the recording, “it's midnight.”

“Noted, we can move to the bed while I, um…watch,” Calliope watched their resolve fade slightly as a light blush reached their cheeks.

“Very well, let's do it,” she grabbed their hand, and her soda, before they made their way upstairs.

Quickly making it to their room, they both lounge down, their backs on the headboard.

“Are you ready?” Calliope asked as she opened the soda.

“Mmm, actually, is it alright if I were to…lay on your stomach?” Indy blushed, “it's totally fine if you say no, I know this is new and if you wanna go slower-”

“Indy, go ahead, I don't mind as long as you don't mind all of the inevitable bouncing that's going to happen,” the woman smiled at them, and that was enough of an invitation if any.

Indyko quickly lay their head down on her stomach and smiled as they began to rub it, “oh my goodness, so plump and soft. This is my new pillow. Forever.”

Calliope chuckled while opening her soda, “once these hiccups start back up, you'll regret ever saying that.”

And without any hesitation, she chugged her bottle of soda. Indyko watched, hearing the soda drop into her stomach, joining the rest of the liquid already there. Taking a break from the carbonation, Calliope released a huge burp, making her tummy gurgle and bubble. Indy was entranced.

“Huh, weird…I don't feel any hiccups coming,” Calliope frowned. “Maybe they're just done for tonight-” she was interrupted by another belch, covering her mouth. “Whew, excuse me. How are you doing down there?”

“I'm great, thank you,” Indyko nuzzled into the marshmallow paradise that was Calliope's tummy. Or maybe it was more like soft clay.

They decided to find out for themselves, rubbing her tummy and gently grabbing her muffin top and playing with it, mesmerized by all the folds and the rolls.

Calliope chuckled slightly, “babe, that tickles.”

Indy gasped and stopped, blushing immensely, “s-sorry! I got caught up, I should've asked first-”

“You're ok, Indy. Just relax, you're allowed to play around, experiment. I'll let you know if I don't like it or need a break, ok?” Calliope reassured them.

Indy slowly nodded and smiled as they continued playing with her tummy. Calliope got to work finishing up her soda. Gulp after gulp, she suddenly felt a familiar pressure and she stopped drinking just in time to release a *HIP'CAH!grrrrrulllpULP!HU'OP!*.

Indyko's head bounced off every time Calliope's stomach bounced with a spasm, but they didn't mind. It just added to the experience. Though, they did ask, “you ok? Those sound pretty strong.”

“*HICKIM!* Ye-*HULP'AH!*-mm, *hhhHMKMH!ggmmmmplHMK'AH!*IC!*” she couldn't even put together a sentence because they were so fast. She nodded at Indyko, implying to them that she was alright.

“They came back with a vengeance, huh?” Indyko joked slightly and rubbed the constantly jolting tummy. “Poor Calliope, can't seem to stop hiccuping~” they teased lightly.

Calliope moaned quietly, “In-*HINGK!*-Indyk-*ic'KULP!*‐Indyko-*m'GUP!*-ooh *HULPAH!HOLP!GAUP!*-ah fuck.”

“Awww, they just make her bounce like crazy,” Indy continued the commentary. “And she can't even say my name without being interrupted.”

They looked up to see Calliope gripping the sheets as her head kept jerking back against the soft headboard. It wasn't just her head, though. They noticed her whole body moved immensely at the mercy of her hiccups. The whole bed would shake.

“Careful, wouldn't wanna break the bed~” Indy found themselves playing around with her navel.

“*HUCK!HEEEKRRRP!* mm, I'll *HU'UUUP*-mm try——y, fu-*HUCK'L!*-fuck,” Calliope closed her eyes, feeling her blood flowing towards a different region. “The-*HEE!*-se are so *HUCK'ILP!HOLK!IP!*-ngh bad.”

“So deep and strong and loud and beautiful for you, aren't they?~” Indy smirked and kissed her stomach, pleasantly surprised when it attempted to kiss back. “Your tummy loves me!”

“I *HILP!* lo-*HUCK!HUPAH!*-love you *himpka!* too, whew,” Calliope noted the weaker hiccup and slightly sighed in relief. She hadn't realized a back to back case like this would make her so tired. Though, it made sense with how strong both of her cases were.

“Aww, getting tired already?” Indyko lightly teased her tummy, rubbing it again gently. “You slowing down on me? You don't wanna hiccup?” they gently tap on Calliope's tummy.

“*HICK'um!*” was the response.

“Oh? What a discovery,” Indy tilted their head as they experimented some more, “hiccup?”

“*HIUP!*” it happened again.

“Fascinating,” Indyko chuckled quietly, before smirking, “hiccup hiccup.”

“*HIP!KOLP!* Indy-”

“Hiccup hiccup hiccup!”

“*HOUP!HIYUP!HICC'P!* Pops-*IC!*-popsicle!”

Indy immediately sat up and looked over to Calliope, “I'm sorry, are you okay? Too far?”

���It's okay, ju-*huck!*-ust need a bre-*hick'ah!*-break…*holp!holk!icKOLPgrrrup!*-mmf, excuse me-*ic!*,” Calliope groaned. Maybe inducing a second case wasn't the best idea, these were starting to hurt now and they weren't fun when they hurt. “I think-*hingk!* my body's had eno-*huckuck!*-enough. I'm g—gonna try getting ri—d of them.” She winced before sucking in some air and holding her breath.

Indyko watched curiously, seeing her body still jerk with the muffled thumps still trying to escape. But they noticed the hiccups slowly calming down until they eventually went away, though she'd had to release the air sometimes before holding it again. After she slowly released and recovered from what she considered a hiccup attack, Calliope yawned and lay down.

“Yeah, I think I'm done for tonight,” she announced.

“Yeah, we should probably get to sleep before we're here walking around like zombies,” Indy chuckled and moved over, kissing her cheek. “Are you sure you're ok?”

“Yeah, that second case started to hurt after a while,” Calliope admitted and rubbed her chest, “and I think they were about to calm themselves down…until they wanted to listen to their leader down there.”

Indyko blushed profusely, “sorry! I got carried away! It was just…so interesting how they listened to me like that…it's like your body wanted to please me or something, I dunno.”

Calliope held her partner close, snuggling as she closed her eyes, “well, feel free to experiment more next time…maybe on a milder case than this one was.”

Indy smiled and kissed her cheek, “yeah…next time.”

And the two of them drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Fin~