#wanker? that’s the best you could do?
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officialleehadan · 5 months ago
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Taking a verbal shit on a funny post without the courtesy of a read more is peak fic wanker behaviour
You know what’s really funny, Anon? I have absolutely no idea which post you’re talking about. I looked, but I haven’t the foggiest.
So not only am I not sorry, I’m somewhat bemused. You must really have gone digging in my old posts, because I haven’t been all that active on Tumblr in years, and I haven’t done more than reblog stuff here and there in months.
You know there’s this neat feature on tumblr that auto-collapses long posts? If they bother you so much you need to hide behind anon to insult someone about it, you might go turn it on and you’ll never have that issue again.
But for my own curiosity, and because if I’m gonna make fun of someone’s funny post it might as well be the person who sent me anon hate, which post are you all butthurt about?
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infictionalwonderland · 6 months ago
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. . . fred weasley with it girl veela girlfriend (you, bitch!)
babe.
he is your biggest fucking fan
drooling and wide eyes when he even HEARS the click of ur cunty shoes xxx
genuinely stand by the fact he has shirts with ur face on
to him, you’re everything & more
no1 advocate for anything you do
‘yeah, love, you should do that. definitely’
‘mhmm, anything you want darling’
GRRRRRRRR 🐱🐱🐱🐱
eats up every single one of ur cunty fits
you look so damn good babe and he makes sure you know it
‘you’re the most beautiful girl i have ever seen, love. seriously’
‘if you don’t stop smiling like that, im gonna be forced to take you against this fucking wall love’
OOPSIES
HOW DID THAT GET THEERRREEEE
knows the whole school and literally the whole world is obsessed with you and is here for it
(but is also not)
he loves that people know how special you are bc you fckn are
but like
when he sees whores staring at you with gaping mouths and starry eyes he’s like
she’s MINE.
doesn’t enjoy people staring at his girl
10000% the type to wrap his arms around you and pull you back into him, genuinely acting as a shield for the stares
pd(bloody)a!!!
he’s a big big fan
obvs if it makes you uncomfy, he’ll understand and back off! your comfort is his main concern
HOWEVER
if you like it just like he does…
arm wrapped around you waist while you’re walking around
HANDDD HOLDING
he loves cuddling you
ur like his squishmallow 😘😘😘
he really enjoys showing you, all the time, how much you mean to him. how obsessed he is with you. bc he wants you to know
will readily admit to the fact he is very much on ur pink bedazzled leash xxxxx
he’s ur mf bitch ❤️❤️❤️
if ppl try and take the mick out of him for it he literally could not care less
and what???? it’s true
he would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked
if he notices you getting uncomfortable w ppl staring at you, he’s not afraid to confront them (if you want that)
‘yeah, mind looking anywhere bloody else mate?’
‘if you done leering at my girl you wanker, feel free to piss off’
if people happen to not heed his warning, he’s not afraid to fight someone for you
(one time he did and arthur got called in to ‘deal’ with his son—he gave him an approving hug and a chocolate frog)
you & the weasels are like this 🤞
ginny does not resent you bc ur a veela, IN FACCTTTT she actually really looks up to you and admires you, knowing you’re so much more than ur beauty
she’s wants to BE you
(apart from the dating her brother part, gag)
george calls you ‘little legend’ he thinks you’re great for making his brother so starstruck and mushy-goey all the soft things.
genuinely cannot wait for the day you become his sister in law 🤧
after ron got over his creepy little crush, he’s grown to see you as someone he adores (even if he would never admit it) and someone he really feels safe with
you make him feel wanted in his family and actually loved—for that, he loves you more
charlie thinks ur an absolute riot 😭😭
the first time you met you had pulled a prank on the twins, turning their skin lilac and giving them unicorn horns with fuzzy purple fur everywhere (human unicorns)
he’s adored you ever since
bill loves you like a little sister and fleur and you are legit best mates!!!
arthur holds you very dear to him as he sees how good you are for his son and how much of a good individual you are in general
molly was slightly hesitant initially
BUTTT then you knitted her and arthur winter hats for christmas, sent them with a cutesy note and some sweets and she knew she’d love you
(she really, truly does)
#fredweasleyisurseximinion
he wrote that himself xxxx
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readwritealldayallnight · 30 days ago
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Promises
Captain John Price x Reader
wc: 1.2k words
warnings/tags: fluff fluff fluff
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“You’ll check the doors? Windows as well, aye?”
“Yes, John. I’ll make sure they’re locked before bed.” You reassure the man, holding the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you do exactly that, tugging on the window latches to ensure they’re shut properly, walking past each door to spy the locks are in fact in place. “No one will be coming in and touching your cigars, I can assure you of that.”
“Hm. Got precious cargo I’m more concerned about these days, than cigars.” He quips back, playing into your attempt to lighten the situation. John hasn’t been gone on deployment for a full 24 hours yet and already he’s finding himself missing you more than he thought possible. He knew being apart from you was going to be difficult, especially considering that this mission was likely to take a few months rather than a few weeks, but he hadn’t anticipated struggling so early on.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone touch your scotch either.” You say and he can just picture you adding a mischievous wink at the end. He finds himself suddenly wondering if he has any photos of you where you’re winking at him, and he feels regret creeping into his stomach at the realization that no, he probably doesn’t. Now he’s got nothing but his memory to rely on when he wants to imagine your playful expression.
It’s not as if John hadn’t made a point of taking more candid shots of you once he’d learned about how long this upcoming mission was to take. He wanted to have something tangible, something real he could wrap his fingers around, lay his weary gaze upon and be gifted with the sight of his beloved smiling back at him. And if a thick stack of Polaroids each adorned with varying expressions of your visage find themselves stuffed into the pocket of his tactical vest right above where his heart beats only for you, well then his men had best mind their business about it.
His last ditch effort to capture your beauty, to bring along with him a small fragment of the joy you bring to his life every day he spends by your side, had melted your heart thoroughly. It was sometimes hard to imagine your soft, loving teddy bear of a man, having to turn on his Captain persona and intimidate enemies on a battlefield. But then you’d hear him shouting at the television, going on about how some wanker was making a mockery of ‘The Price is Right’ (a show the two of you watched too often, if only so that John had more of an excuse to slip ‘well ya know, they do say Price is right, after all’ into arguments), or you’d catch him glaring at anyone he felt was looking at you the wrong way in public, and you couldn’t deny he was to be in a position of command.
“Don’t go answerin’ the door for anyone either, love. And make sure that the-”
“John, I’ll be okay. I promise, I’ll be careful.” You attempt to convince him before he spirals further. A man of action, John had been keeping busy in the time leading up to his departure. Trips to the hardware store to buy additional locks for the front door, jammers for the window panes, researching various brands of security systems, even going as far as speaking a little louder in the hallways outside your flat door, letting anyone who lived near enough know that a man lived here as well, not wanting anyone to know you’d be alone and vulnerable.
“I know, m’sorry to keep pestering you love.” The Captain sighs into the phone, running a hand down his phone before glancing back over his shoulder at the room. He knows he doesn’t have much more time to keep talking with you. Really, he shouldn’t have called at all, but John just couldn’t help himself. This is how he gets when it comes to you. Nothing else matters as much when it comes to you. And so yes, he admits he is being selfish by holding everyone else up in the briefing room as they wait for his return, but he doesn’t know when he’ll get to hear your voice again, and what’s the point of being Captain if you can’t pull strings when they matter? “Just wanna know you’ll be safe.”
“Now why do I feel as though I should be the one asking you that question, hm?” Your question brings a soft smile to his face. God, he misses you so much already. “You made it to- wherever you are- alright?”
“I did.” He confirms, casting another glance across the room. He can see them loading up trucks with supplies as you speak. He hates that he can’t ever tell you where he is. Can’t tell you that this base is just one of countless destinations where he’ll sleep in a bed that feels too empty without you by his side. Can’t tell you that each meal portion he eats tastes blander without you sitting across from him. “Though we’re not stayin’ here long. Flyin’ out early again in the mornin’.”
“Hm.” You hum along in response, knowing he can’t give you details, satisfied with any bit of information he can offer you in its place. “You promise me, you’ll be safe John Price. I don’t like those stories of Gaz falling out of helicopters.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing that’s the only story I’m ever lettin’ him tell you.” John can’t help but to laugh along with you, before falling more serious again, knowing he’ll have to hang up soon and leave you. “Trust me love. You don’t need to be worrying your pretty little head over me. There isn’t anythin’ that could keep me from comin’ home to you. Nothin’.”
His declaration has tears threatening to sting the corners of your eyes, treasuring this moment with him, even an unknown distance apart, knowing it’ll be some time until you can speak again. You can hear the background noise of wherever he is increasing in volume. You overhear someone shout his name, no doubt looking for him. You know your time is up for now, and that you’ll have to be the one to bite the bullet. He’s never the first one to hang up the phone with you, and this time is no different.
“I love you John. So much. I’ll see you soon.” You whisper into the receiver, hoping he can feel the love you speak into each word meant only for him.
“I love you, angel. So much. Be back before you know it.” He says, waiting to hear the ‘click’ on the other side of the line before stuffing his phone back into his slacks.
It’s true, what he said to you. There truly isn’t anything, so long as he can help it, that will keep him from coming back home to you. Not when he’s made a promise to do exactly that. Not when he’s got a small box stuffed into three pairs of socks hiding in his underwear drawer in your flat, hiding a shiny little ring he’s been holding on to since your second date. Not when he intends to make his biggest promise to you yet as soon as he’s home and holding you in his arms again, where you belong.
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syoddeye · 3 months ago
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down the hatch / badgering
141 x f!reader | ~1.9k | series page tags: p in v sex, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, bad jokes, manipulation, spanking, manhandling a/n: you know that tunnel scene in willy wonka and the chocolate factory? that's how it feels when i write this. a hoot and a half. banner by @/cafekitsune.
it’s an adjustment. living with roommates again. roommates who refuse to leave, thanks to all the death and destruction outside. convenient excuse, really.
no more naked mornings. you could go tits out—they fucking do—but you’re not entirely without reason. as salivating as they are, the hunks are your enemies.
even if they’ve showered, trimmed, and got some of the bloodstains out of their clothes. 
even if soap makes canned meat and powdered eggs palatable, whipping up a spam and rice bowl for you without asking.
even if gaz finds a five-hundred-piece puzzle on a scavenging trip and bites his tongue when you bat his hand away when he tries to help sort the pieces.
even if ghost slips a game of hangman under your door at lights out, and lets you guess a couple of letters each night. (first word? ‘wanker’. second? ‘larynx.’)
even if john—well, wait, no. the asshole hasn’t made a peace offering. probably because he knows you won’t honor them or because he’s sore about the whole ‘no cool nickname’ thing. whatever.
at night, alone in your room, you plot. how does one evict four man-roaches? make living with you worse than living outside.
in a weird way, your austrian neighbor and his aspirations for a fucking von trapp family: the squeakuel comes in handy. he hoarded all types of junk.
soap’s your guinea pig. he’s moody. something’s always itching under his skin. he snaps at the other men too easily and watches you like a dog admiring meat hanging off a bone. opportunity arrives one morning when john and gaz head topside and ghost settles in the living room. you corner the scotsman in the bunker’s tiny gym.
you linger in the doorway, fixated on the dark shapes under soap’s armpits. his mohawk sags, beads of sweat streaking over the freshly shorn hair. down his flexing muscles. and the grunting, christ. it’s a peek into heaven, which makes ruining it difficult.
without a word, you plop onto the other bench and take up the clarinet you found in your room. channeling the gusto of gus polinski, you wet your lips. how hard can it be? you don’t know polka, but you know rossini.
soap’s head snaps at the opening notes, nearly fumbling a pair of dumbbells, his face a flurry of anger, amusement, and annoyance. it’s a valiant effort, his ignoring you, but in the end, you only make it halfway through your best attempt at the william tell overture before he cracks. he rips the instrument from your hands and tosses it aside. he stands over you, smelly and slick, breathing heavily through his nose. 
you end up dragging him to your room.
soap is the definition of a romp in the sheets. a no-holds-barred deathmatch. it’s the first dick you’ve caught in months, and what a reintroduction. a miracle the bed survives. he starts with his mouth sealed to your clit, tongue working like it’s making up for lost time, as if your cunt and his face go way back. it’s refreshing, but you saw how fast he dropped to his knees for gaz.
two orgasms slip out by the time he wrenches off his damp clothes, chin glistening and eyes glittering. he goes cross-eyed the second his dick slaps against your folds, and you laugh at his desperate groaning when he sinks in. though, your laughs are choked off by his sudden, furious thumbing of your clit. (you punch him in the stomach—ignoring the filthy moan that elicits—and hiss out, “a genie isn’t gonna come out, stop fucking rubbing so hard!”) he ends up coming on your stomach and contorts to lick it off, muttering little gratitudes into your skin. it’s…cute. kind of gross, but cute. you kick him out after a power nap.
soap’s a wash. ba-dum tish. try, try again.
you set your sights on gaz. he’s tricky.
it quickly becomes apparent he’s the best at scavenging. smug about it, too, which you leverage. his ego’s easy enough to feed despite his unease. all it takes is batting your lashes and complimenting his hauls.
amazing. this must be the last jar of berbere ever.
pads? for me? so considerate, i’m stunned.
a mostly intact game of monopoly? wow, here, i thought we were done with landlords and taxes.
it’s simple. you begin with small requests. toothpicks. socks. lip balm. when he returns, he drops the goods in your lap like a cat with a mouse. stares at you with those pretty eyes while you lay it on thick. 
you escalate. either he’ll die on your absurd fetch quests or go crazy trying to fulfill them. brand new period panties. a specific type of hair dye. unopened baby lotion. naturally, he can’t find any of them. he still delivers approximations—granny pants, food coloring, and half a bottle of moisturizer—with a hopeful smile you crush under feigned hums of disappointment. ah, well, if this is the best you can do. it chips away at him. his smiles tighten.
you figure he’ll make a dumb mistake on his next outing out of some fucked desperation, and you’ll be down a roach. but after you tell him to keep an unopened pack of nail varnish because they aren’t your colors, he loses it. this time, you’re dragged to bed.
gaz pins you to the mattress, one hand on your throat and the other shoved into your leggings. pupils blown to the point where they’re shark-like. you’d spare a thought for all the poor creatures dead in aquarium tanks across the globe if he wasn’t hellbent on shoving a third finger in.
“so bloody irritating,” gaz seethes. “spoiled and greedy. have you always been a brat, or am i special?”
you spend your ration of oxygen wisely. “i think you think you’re special.”
for that, your knees meet your chest, and your pussy nearly chokes his dick. or so he tells you, pure filth spewing from his mouth. you giggle madly through the slight pinch of pain, mirroring the feral grin on his face. he’s big, and you could be wetter, but you’re not on your back for good behavior. he’s happy to tell you about that, too. how awful you are.
disappointingly, it doesn’t take long for him to lose his grasp on language. a shame, given his shit talk. 
he bats your hand away from your clit when you try to coax your orgasm along. clicks his tongue, eyes half-mast, and smirks. “gonna be good? gonna thank me?” 
in another world, you’d nod. whatever you say, beautiful. in this world, however, you flip the bird, and he flips you.
gaz pants like a bull, pulling you back onto his cock with an iron grip on your hips. his hand comes down across your ass, but there’s this je ne sais quoi missing. it’s the thought that counts, you guess.
after he makes a mess, you fully expect gaz to continue his tirade. instead, he finds a towel. he rolls you over and tucks you in. thanks you. it’s a shame memoirs are meaningless now as the perfect title comes to mind: ‘bunker bumping: backshots in the apocalypse’.
okay. zero for two. historically, settling for 50% isn’t unlike you. 
back at the drawing board, you reevaluate. annoying the men to death hasn’t worked, and they’re exceptionally durable in dogshit conditions. each day, they get closer to rigging the equipment necessary to contact their ‘friends’, seemingly unperturbed by your efforts. in fact, they seem more comfortable. at home. they poke around the utility room to assess what needs maintenance or improvement. the nerve.
it’s untenable. no matter what that dumb voice in your head insists, you miss solitude. miss not having an audience. you want to watch leon and the silence of the lambs without commentary. dance naked. leave the toilet door open. 
you withdraw.
the bedroom becomes your bunker within the bunker. you take meals alone. painstakingly move your puzzles and hoard books. shower at night after they go to bed. ignore them in the halls. keep your mouth shut when someone addresses you. it’s a fruitless endeavor, keeping your head in the sand, but a part of you hopes if you become as unobtrusive as possible, they’ll forget you exist. after all, they have each other. they put those squeaky single beds through the wringer.
problem is, you don’t account for scragglebeard himself. nosy fucker. 
it happens on shower night. towel-clad and testy, you trudge from the bathrooms and find your door open. you freeze in the hall, hearing clinking sounds and lowered voices. gaz and soap emerge, ferrying dishes and dirty clothes, not sparing so much as a glance. your stomach twists, immediately jumping to the worst-case scenario. they’re reclaiming the space, and they’re finally going to kill you.
unfortunately, it’s not so simple.
“whatever this is,” john sternly says the second you enter the room, “we’re going to fix it.”
ghost traipses past, arms full of unopened cans and more dishware. you glare at his back, then turn to john.
“get the fuck out.”
he chuckles. “sweetheart, what’s not clickin’? this isn’t just your shelter anymore.”
“got it,” ghost reenters, a roll of duct tape held aloft. 
well. you had a nice run. sure, the calamity was a setback, but considering you probably lasted longer than everyone you ever hated, present company aside, that’s a tick in the win column. 
however, ghost doesn’t bind your limbs or cover your mouth. he crouches at the ventilation shaft connecting our rooms, rips off several pieces of tape, and covers most of the grid. “you fuckin’ talk in your sleep.” he points at the small hole he left uncovered and stands. “my bed’s right through ‘ere. it’s fuckin’ unsettlin’.” grumbling, he shuffles out once more.
john’s not shy about scanning you from top to bottom, but apparently, he doesn’t like what he sees. he turns away. “what are we missing?”
you pick through what’s left of your clean clothes. “loaded question.” poking your head through a shirt, you shimmy the towel to your hips.
“where else would you find a clarinet?”
“up your–” he glares over his shoulder, and you smile sweetly. “there’s a small storage space in the closet here. it’s empty now.”
“we found the surveillance room and utilities. it stands to reason that there are others.” john scratches his chin, watching you like a hawk as you pull on shorts. 
“oh. you think?”
“i do.”
“well, think outside of my room. i’m going to bed.” you move to the bed and listen to john close the distance. he hovers, his breath hitting your neck in an exasperated huff. it sends a shiver down your spine. you bet he’s got what gaz was missing—experience behind the swing of his palm.
“like it or not, sweetheart, we’re sticking around. now, i’d prefer it if we kept things civil. based on what the boys told me, i know you’re capable of being friendly.”
it’s not the smartest decision in the world, wheeling on a man trained to kill. he catches your wrist as it winds up and twists it sharply behind your back. with one solid push, you get a mouthful of linen as your body promptly hinges at the waist. an angry string of obscenities gets lost in the sheets. you’ve never been so humiliated. or breathtakingly aroused.
john tuts.
“bad call, badger.”
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sun-kissy · 3 months ago
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heyyyy do you think you could write a James blurb where reader hangs with Severus and Lily (she's a Snape but it's not really common knowledge as she's a few years younger) and everyone thinks James likes to come around for Lily but it's actually for the reader? I love your work btw!!!
yes, of course!! and thank you ♡
beautiful | j.p.
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tw: fluff
snape!reader, james potter x reader
A frustrated sigh escapes Severus’ lips as you flick a petal at him for what seems like the umpteenth time that evening. You can feel the quivers in Lily’s body from where you’re laying on her lap as she laughs.
O.W.L.S. had just ended for your brother and best friend, so you dragged them down to your usual spot beneath the silver-leafed tree for a picnic. Lily was concentratedly twining vines together, crafting a daisy crown.
The light breeze caused her auburn hair to cover her face as she worked, the sun hitting her face in all the right places. She looked like some sort of heavenly wood nymph, you thought as you stared up at her. She was really really pretty.
Meanwhile, Severus was engrossed in some old, weathered-down potions book - furiously scribbling down notes for god-knows-what. Your legs were propped up on his lap as you threw the petals which occasionally fell from Lily’s flower crown at him. His expression was growing more cross by the second.
Your brother starts to grumble at you under his breath as a petal drifts straight into his nostril. A giggle bubbles out of you as he sneezes and the petal shoots out his nose, not missing the huff of annoyance he let out.
“If mother hadn’t instructed me to take care of you,” he mutters, a hint of irritation in his tone as he rubs his nose, “I would’ve tossed you into the black lake already.”
Lily grins, flicking your forehead as you bat your eyelashes at him playfully. “You love me.”
“Lies.”
“You bought me a whole bag of chocolate last weekend!”
“That was merely because-”
Your brother’s rambling comes to a halt, his eyes suddenly narrowing as he glares at something across the field of grass. His mouth twists up into a disgruntled frown.
You follow his line of vision to see none other than James Potter stumbling towards your clique, casting dirty looks at his friends behind him as they urge him towards you.
A sigh escapes you before you can even think about it. It annoyed you greatly, whenever James came crawling after you all like a desperate dog, just for the sake of Lily.
That was all it was, you tried to convince yourself. You told yourself that the acidic burning sensation of your heart in your chest was just because it was frustrating how obsessed he was, how his eyes lit up whenever they landed on Lily, how he stumbled over his words whenever he was near.
He was annoying, a stupidly beautiful wanker with an achingly gorgeous smile and eyes so bright they could rival the stars.
But you knew why you really hated him, and it frustrated you immensely. You despised him for liking Lily, hated his guts for not liking you instead. It was sickening, the way he gazed at her. And it was even more disgusting how envy took ahold of your entire being when that happened.
It gutted you, whenever you saw him looking at your best friend with heart-eyes. But it was obvious why - she was everything a guy could ever want, and she was a perfect girl for the golden boy. How could you even think about rivalling her?
What upset you the most, though, was how Lily always seemed to ignore him, looking away and rolling her eyes when his eyes met hers. You wanted to shake her, yell at her for being so ungrateful and wrack some sense into her brain. But all you did was stare quietly at the ground whenever James was near, zoning out so you didn’t have to hear the sickeningly mushy stuff which surely poured out his mouth in front of Lily.
So it was an understatement to say that your heart stopped when you heard your name coming out his mouth. You furrow your eyebrows, snapping back to the present as you press your palms down on the grass to lift your head from Lily’s lap. “What?”
James was looking at you anxiously now, with that glimmer in his eyes and a nervous smile. “Y/n, I um… I asked if you’d like to go to Hogsmeade with me? Tomorrow?”
You blink, the cogs still turning in your head. It was unfathomable, James Potter asking you out. Surely, it had to be a joke or a dare or something. Or maybe he meant to ask Lily, that was probably it. He had just asked the wrong person and was too nice to go back on his word, right?
“But you like Lily!” you blurt out immediately, a pang of hurt overwhelming you, for both you and your best friend. James’ eyebrows bunch up in puzzlement, his lips slowly twisting up into an almost comical smile. “Lily? You think I like Lily?”
You were sure you’d get whiplash from how fast you turned around to look at Lily, seeing her eyebrows bunched in confusion. “So, you don’t like me, Potter?”
He chuckles, a bit of the tension leaving his muscular frame as he shakes his head. “Redhead, you’re cool and all. But Y/n….” His gaze flicks over to you, and the affection in his eyes made you want to melt into a pool of hot mush.
Lily starts to smile, before it turns into a full-blown grin and she turns to you, nudging your elbow suggestively.
“Me?” you question slowly, suspiciously. You didn’t want to admit it, but your heart felt like it was going to burst even at the prospect of going out with him. “You like me?”
James immediately nods, turning slightly red at how long it was taking him to get an acceptance from you. But then again, he thinks he’d wait a lifetime for you to say yes, and he’d wait forever even if you said no.
Just then, you hear a loud cough on your left, and turn to see Severus glaring at you with a deadpan expression on his face.
You feel an arm bristle the hair on your head as Lily reaches over from your right, mussing up your brother’s hair. You laugh as he swats her away, tsking and cursing under his breath. “Shut up, Sev. Let my girl have her moment.”
Severus, to his credit, does shut up. Though he still has that bleary, stormy look on his face.
You turn back to James, slightly dizzy as the thought began to plant itself in your brain. The smile on his face was asking a million questions, holding a hundred insecurities. Yet you knew that there was only one right answer to them all.
“Yes,” you say softly, your lips beginning to curve upwards. Your heart was beating so loud, you were sure he could hear it.
“Yeah?” he asks, starting to grin. He lets out an exhale and scratches the back of his head, smiling at the floor before looking back at you. “Alright, then. I’ll pick you up outside the Great Hall, 5pm.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” He beams at you, and it’s the most beautiful you’ve ever seen a person look before. “Bye, Y/n. And redhead, and Snivellus.”
James winks at you before turning around, causing your heart to jump and lodge itself in your throat. He jogs back to his group of friends waiting with wide eyes and bated breath.
A moment later, you can hear the cheers and whoops from across the field.
You turn back to Severus, afraid of what you’d find. He’s gazing at you with a terse expression on his face as you gulp anxiously.
“I’m sorry. If you’re not okay with it…”
“No. You are not going to bail out on him,” he says, the firmness in his voice catching you by surprise. “I know how long you’ve been waiting for this. And this is something you need to learn to do, getting your hands on the things you want. You’re a Snape, you always get what you want, you hear me?”
You nod helplessly.
“And if what you want is Potter,” he sneers, “Then Potter it is. Just don’t expect me to play nice.”
A small smile graces your lips. “Thank you.” You know he’d understand what you meant, all the things you were thanking him for.
You can see him start to soften, though perhaps that frown would be etched on his face permanently. He sighs, “Yes, yes. You’re welcome.”
Lily squeals and forcefully turns you towards her, gripping your hands. “This is awesome.”
“You’re just glad he doesn’t like you.”
“Am not!” she exclaims, but the mirth in her eyes betrays her.
You sigh, smiling bemusedly as you lie back down on her lap, watching her continue to craft the flower crowns. Maybe you’d give James one tomorrow, though you doubt he could look more beautiful than he already did.
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the-crow-binary · 1 year ago
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@ariawen Hi, as a games fan who started to get really interested into them after watching the first seasons of the original NFCV show, allow me to explain, once again. :) (it will be like a summary of this post, and this one, and many other posts that were not all made by me and that would take too much time for me to find. just know there is a lot and that summary is non-exhaustive)
The adaptations don't respect anything coming from the games. It doesn't have any of it's themes, the Belmont clan is treated like dirt, respectable characters have been turned into rude jerks (except Hector who was turned into a weak puppy with no agency :)), every female character has been turned into a #girlboss, multiple characters have been changed so much that they are basically OCs with game characters names (Carmilla, Isaac, Elisabeth/Erzsebet, Drolta, Olrox, Annette), Dracula who is the biggest antagonist of the CV games, the MAIN one, is killed in two seasons and the whole "cycle of revenge and resurrection" is thrown out the window. Dracula isn't even killed by Trevor, and let me tell you, Belmonts killing Dracula is a VERY big deal in the games and one of the MOST IMPORTANT parts of the lore. Instead it's Alucard killing him because they wanted to make Symphony of the Night way too early.
The Dracula VS Belmont clan duality is non-existent. Dracula has received one of the biggest downgrades of the adaptations (he is nothing but some kind of vampire king who can't even make his own court listen to him and is killed by a fucking wooden stick, when in the games, he is the Dark Lord, the most powerful evil being to exist, basically Satan, is obeyed and respected by all creatures of the Night, can turn into a giant demon, basically he is way more intimidating annd terrifying in the games, and at full power, he can only be killed by the Vampire Killer. And talking about the VK...)
The ancestral whip of the Belmont Clan is not that special in the shows, when it's the most powerful weapon to exist in the games (and is infused with the soul of the ex-betrothed of the Belmont clan's founder). The Morning star, wich in game was an enhancement of the VK, is now another, more powerful weapon... that disappeared in Nocturne. They are not even coherent with their own lore.
And even the writing of the shows themselves are not great. It's rushed, the LGBT representation is straight up insulting (bisexuality shown through a rape scene? a relationship so rushed it's ridiculous and the only reason why people like it is because the characters in it are hot? a scene where one of them is probably mind controlled? really? the best LGBT relationship that is shown is between two lesbian vampires who barely have any screentime and no real importance to the plot.), bestiality jokes, Alucard pissing on screen, "fuck" and "shit" thrown every two seconds, OP Sypha, rape apologism, N!Isaac stealing the arc of Game!Hector and making it worse (he literally uses his religion, that he didn't have before, as an excuse to killing people. he keeps killing most of the people he meets then by the time he reaches Hector in the end we are supposed to believe he is a changed man). Wich is a good summary of the shows tbh: It does not take much from the games, but what it does, it destroys. Nocturne is even worse in term of writing. Lots of boring moments, laughable choices such as making a super dramatic scene in the beginning of the season where Maria burries one of her bird and everyone cries with Edouard singing and it's literally so stupid (we don't know her yet, nor her birds, no one cares). The show happening during the French Revolution this far is at best, useless, at worse, insulting. Using foreign cultures for diversity points without any care put into it.
The themes of the games: Generational trauma, cycle of hatred and revenge, fated to fight for eternity, coping/struggling with fate(you can't fight it. if you try, it's only going to make things worse.), "fate is horrible but necessary", coping with death, eternal fight of good VS evil, family tragedies, believing in the best in people because that's all you have, fall from grace, redemption (from past sins), (gaining) agency, freedom/independence, humanity, self-affirmation...
The themes of the shows: CHURCH BAD, fake deepness (the games did better), trying to pretend it has the "struggling with fate" thing with N!Richter when it was already ruined by N!Trevor, "family member died", coping with death but ruined (Dracula being depicted as deserving of an happy ending and don't receiving any consequences after he tried to kill every human, when in the games, he was tragic, yes, but it was clear he was in the wrong) or boring, woman on man rape okay because she hot and he got hard haha, slavery bad, Belmonts stupid, swear words funny...
And to top it all off, the thing that irritates us the most, is not just that the shows basically destroy the games with no respect whatsoever. It's not just the fact that it became super popular and now NFCV is what comes into the mind of most people when we say "Castlevania". It's not just that the people liked them, or that they decided that Castlevania was a good game to be political with. No.
The worst is that people feel the need to shit on the games in order to praise their shows.
Trust me that game fans would be more than happy to ignore the shows and just consider them as their own alternate universe if they could. It's the shows fans that won't allow us to. Because they can't tag their shit right. Because they can't just see the show and not compare it to the games they know nothing about. Because they can't comprehend that liking a show doesn't mean the show is good. Because they can't, or refuse to see the very obvious problems their beloved shows have, even as it's own show. And it's not just individuals on the internet, but reporters as well. It's really, horribly irritating, when we come across an article that praise NFCV for being SO GOOD and SO SUPERIOR TO THE GAMES. And it's even more infuriating when they praise the show for some things that THE GAMES DID BETTER.
The games had a core, things that gave it it's identity, things that made "Castlevania" Castlevania. And the "adaptations" butchered it. Of course we're going to be mad about it, and the fact it became more popular. We're not anti-adaptation, we're anti-BAD adaptation that does not do justice to our games. Especially when said adaptation becomes more popular and considered "better".
I see that already some viewers of nocturne think Richter's an asshole. This is just one of many examples of the show changing a character's personality traits.
In the games, Richter is a very nice man! He has a strong sense of justice, and is compassionate about others. He's not an asshole like nocturne leads you to believe.
Also, his family legacy plays a much bigger role in the games. It would eventually lead to his fall from grace. But that's another story for another time.
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crescenthistory · 1 month ago
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hihi i love ur work sm <3 could you pls do a barty crouch jr sunshine x grump except the reader is the grump? ik barty isnt rlly sunshine like but he seems a lot more outgoing and energetic when compared to the reader. for the prompt could it be a.6 where the reader is just being her usual grumpy self and barty sort of mocks her? if the idea doesnt sound so appealing u dont have to do it i understand !! (also ignore the fact i submitted this earlier but forgot to put the prompt lmfao)
hi sweetheart! first of all, no i will not ignore your earlier ask because what you said about my writing was soso sweet and i think about it daily<33 i am a truther of barty being the sunshine in these dynamics because his chaotic energy needs a bit of a grumpy counterpart which is why i'm also a bartylus truther shhh so i'm in love with your idea, thanks darling xx this was so fun to write, why is he like this
Prompt: A.6 "Aren't you just a sweetheart?"
Words: 2.4k
Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader (she/her pronouns used), you are in gryffindor sorry and marauders!bestie, mostly barty pov so it's sassy and biased, banter/bickering, language, some innuendos/suggestive jokes, they do not kiss physically but are making out in barty's head tbh, jegulus appearance my loves, a little bit of bartylus snuck in there
Note: i love their dynamic here, might write some more blurbs with the same storyline/concept
continuation can be found here <3 and here
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Barty could not believe Regulus had betrayed him on such a carnal level.
Becoming chummy with Gryffindors in general should be considered a cardinal sin, but shagging one on the regular? Insisting that shagging was a “crude term” for it and insisting Barty accept that his best friend, stupid wanker, is actually in love with and dating James Potter, the epitome of Gryffindor bravado?
Absolutely unacceptable. Arguably a hate crime, and he told Regulus as much, only to be met with an eye roll as the black haired boy continued to drag him along to where his new boyfriend was sitting in the Great Hall, surrounded by friends.
“Well, if it isn’t Baby Black?” A girl called as Regulus approached the group, hauling Barty along with him. Others around smiled and greeted Regulus – not Barty.
“Shut it, McKinnon,” Regulus grumbled, sheepishly taking the seat on James’s left that he had saved for him. Barty could spot a slight pinkish blush creeping up on Regulus’s cheeks when James murmured a hey love and kissed his cheek.
Barty could puke at the sight.
Nevertheless, he shoved some Gryffindors further down the table to take a seat beside Regulus. For whatever reason, he had believed it necessary to bring Barty with him every single time he meets James’s gnarly pack, so Barty assumed the role of protective friend while still making it exponentially clear that he disapproves.
“No acknowledgement for me then?” Barty looked around the table who were in one degree or another cooing at the fresh couple. All except Sirius, who, like Barty, was faux gagging at the sight.
It’s a new low for Sirius Black to be your one ally.
“Make yourself note-worthy, and we’ll say hello to you, Junior.” The gruff voice came from you, who conveniently was sitting opposite Barty this morning.
You were thus far the most tolerable of James’s friends, mostly because you had yet to be as loud and obnoxious as the rest, despite the red and gold around your neck. You had yet to say almost anything at all, but what you did say had a habit of drawing a snort from Barty. Mostly because it was never particularly kind.
Your eyes didn’t leave the crossword puzzle you were working on as you ate, shutting out the bickering around you, yet somehow picking up on Barty’s comment. 
Intriguing. 
“I take great personal offence to that, Treasure.” Barty's voice was incredulous but he sported a contradicting wicked grin, happy at the opportunity to wreak a bit of havoc if he must be seated here.
“Ew.” You looked up at that, eyes narrowing at the pet name he gave you. He decided then and there, that was the only way he would refer to you from now on. “And good. Maybe it can help you build some character.”
“Oh, come on,” James butted in, finally drawing his eyes from Regulus – who he had sneaked an arm around before the boy could protest at the public display of affection – and looking at his dear friend and his disgruntled friend-in-law. “Be nice to Junior, he slithered here all the way from the comforts of his dungeon.”
“So did your boytoy, Potter, so watch your mouth.” Sirius, James and Regulus all winced at the word boytoy, though for very different reasons.
“And so I am being nice to him,” James retorted, squeezing Regulus as he looked down at him. “Aren’t I, love?”
“Shut up,” Regulus whispered.
“You’ve already said that today, Reggie,” McKinnon replied with a sly grin. “Find another comeback, why don’t ya?”
Regulus just rolled his eyes at her while Sirius bumped his shoulder into hers in a sign of approval.
“Anyway.” Barty drew the attention back to him as he spoke up, but his eyes were trained on you. “Build some character you say? What character would you like me to be, Treasure?"
You sized him up, clearly debating whether to follow James's advice or take Barty's bait. The latter seemed to win.
"Someone less disruptive would be a great start."
"That would hold more bite if you didn't willingly surround yourself with this lot," Barty laughed, waving his arms a bit too theatrically towards your friends, some of which were scowling at him, others nodding in agreement. Barty swore he could hear James whisper fair under his breath.
"Willingly is a bit of a stretch." You side-eyed Sirius beside you with a sly grin, who took a few seconds to process your sentence. Once he realised, he gasped and swatted at your arm for the disrespect.
Barty was enjoying himself much more than he expected.
"Aren't you just a sweetheart?" His grin never faltered as he continued his one-sided staring contest with you. As if you were the only thing in the room of notice, as if your friends weren't right there and needed to be won over by him as well.
“I can be,” you drawled, fighting to keep your face neutral. “You just gotta earn it."
Barty tilted his head, eyes narrowing with interest as he studied you. There was something undeniably magnetic about your sharp tongue, the way you seemed to remain so unbothered by the chaos swirling around the table.
He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, inching just a bit closer. “And how do I do that?”
Finally, you locked eyes with him properly, levelling him with your stare. Your expression remained impassive, but there was a flicker of something—curiosity, maybe?—beneath your cold exterior.
"That ship sailed so long ago, you can't even see it from harbour, Junior."
"Good thing I can swim." Barty winked at you, and part of him thought he caught you look flustered for half a moment as his comments grew flirtier by the minute.
“Fine by me, easier to drown you if you jump in the water willingly."
Barty barked a laugh, unphased by your words. "Don't threaten me with a good time." He could feel Regulus giving him a look from his right, but Barty ignored it. He was far too entertained by you now. “Tell me, do you give everyone such a warm welcome, or am I just special?”
Your lips twitched, but you held your ground, flicking your eyes back to the crossword in front of you. “You’re just annoying.”
Regulus groaned softly, clearly wishing he could disappear into the floor. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to subject himself—and by extension, Barty—to the whirlwind that was James Potter and his pack of friends, but he also wasn’t blind. He saw the way Barty’s attention had shifted, how your sharp, biting comments had hooked him in a way nothing else had managed to. He could practically feel the chaos brewing.
James, ever the peacemaker, clapped his hands together. “Right, well, now that we’ve all sufficiently insulted each other—again—how about we chat about something less murder-y?”
“No promises,” you murmured, flipping a page of the Daily Prophet as you continued working through the puzzle.
“Good efforts, Potter, but I fear she's just too intrigued by me” Barty sighed, leaning back in his seat as if exhausted by the mere prospect of attention. “I have that effect on people.”
“Oh, sure,” McKinnon chimed in, rolling her eyes. “We’re all positively obsessed with you.”
Sirius, looking entirely too pleased with himself, gave you an exaggerated wink. “I’d pay good money to see her put you in your place, Junior.”
“And I’d pay good money to see you mind your own business,” you retorted coolly, not even sparing Sirius a glance. Neither boy seemed sure if the comment was meant for Sirius or Barty, but didn't let that deter their entertainment.
Barty watched the exchange with open fascination. He couldn’t help but admire how easily you held your own amongst this overzealous group, considering their tendency to overwhelm people with their loud, boisterous energy. You were like a still, cold lake amidst a storm, unbothered by the wind and waves crashing around you.
He leaned closer to Regulus, his voice dropping slightly as he muttered, “I like her.”
Regulus, still recovering from the emotional whiplash of being dragged between Barty and James’s worlds, gave Barty a flat look. “Don’t.”
Barty’s grin only widened. “Too late.”
It became a strange, almost delirious routine for Barty to be swirled into the life of James Potter and Co. He minded it less and less, irritation soothed almost instantly once he saw you.
He sought you out every time Regulus brought him along, plopping down beside you on the common room couches, leaning on your chair at the library, catching your eye in the hallways. You presented begrudgingly, always rolling your eyes and scoffing, but your resolve crumbled slowly and the smile you were fighting became more insistent.
You and your dry retorts, you with your books or puzzles in hand, you and your knowing looks that grew more affectionate.
Barty was thoroughly fascinated.
"Don't screw this up for me please," Regulus would whine as the two of them walked back to the Slytherin dorms with just a few minutes left before curfew. They had dragged out their time sprawled across the couches by the fireplace at Gryffindor.
This time, as most times of late, Regulus hadn't asked Barty to come – he hadn't needed to. While the two usually spent most of their time together, Barty had practically been glued to his side as of late, ready to jump on the opportunity to see you.
"I won't," Barty dragged out the words with annoyance, as if he had said them a thousand times as of late. "Don't worry your pretty head so much Reggie, James won't care that I'm bantering with his bestie."
"It's not just the bantering I'm worried about," Regulus muttered, but Barty caught it clear as day. He gave his friend a look that demanded further explanation.
"You clearly fancy her, Barty!" He just blinked, as if to say and? Regulus groaned. "Just don't mess anything up with her to the point where she gets so angry she doesn't want to see you anymore. I don't want to have to deal with managing my time between you and James because she wants you dead."
Barty sighed dreamily at those last words, whispering wouldn't that be hot? Regulus gave him a corrective slap up the back of his head.
"I won't okay, I won't!" Barty was the one grumbling now, trying to deal with the infatuation in his stomach, just aching to go back and bicker some more with you, while also calming his best friend down. "I don't want to actually like hurt her or anything, I just like getting a little rise out of her."
Regulus paused before the entrance to the Slytherin common room, levelling Barty with a glare. He realised then that he seemed to have a type of person he prefers to associate with, because you had given him that same look earlier when you debated each other about who should get to sit in the comfy chair. He suggested you just sit in his lap in the chair – a great compromise, really – and a beautiful blush crept up on your face when you scoffed.
"If she will make you happy, please do go for it. But be careful, please." Regulus's tone of voice was intent, leaving little room for argument.
Barty still found some, of course, but he was soft for his friend and gave way.
"Fine, don't worry, I've got it under control," he all but whined. "It's not everyday stoic Regulus Black begs me for anything, so fine."
There was a smile on Regulus's face when he shoved him then, finally stepping into the Slytherin dorms to call it a night.
You were in the library the first time Barty got you all to himself.
It was a Saturday afternoon when Barty found himself wandering through the library, absentmindedly scanning the rows of books. He wasn’t really paying attention, more so killing time before his next Quidditch practice and possibly looking for some trouble, when he spotted you in a far corner. Much better.
For once you were free from your larger than life friends, nose peacefully buried in another one of your books as you twirled your quill before your fingers. Barty knew you were waiting to scribble something in the margin, and a surprisingly soft warmth sprouted in his chest when you did. A small smile tugged at his lips as he made his way over to you, leaning casually against the bookshelf beside you.
“Fancy seeing you here, Treasure.”
You didn’t even bother looking up. “If you’re here to annoy me, I’ll hex you. Finally got some peace and quiet."
Barty laughed, taking the seat across from you without invitation. “You wound me. What makes you think I’m here to annoy you? Maybe I just wanted some quality company.”
“Quality company?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow as you finally looked up from your book. “And yet you chose to sit with me.”
“Exactly,” Barty replied smoothly, flashing you a grin. “You’re the most interesting person in this castle, and I’m bored. I’m sure you can entertain me.”
You gave him a long, appraising look, as if trying to figure out what his angle was. “You really don’t know when to quit, do you?”
“Nope.” His characteristic cheshire cat grin was playing across his features, and you ignored the stirring it caused inside you.
A pause stretched between you as your staring contest prolonged, and for a moment, Barty thought you were going to ignore him, go back to your book, and continue the delicate balance of biting banter and cold indifference that had marked all your previous interactions.
Then, much to his surprise, you closed your book with your fingers keeping your page. You leaned back in your chair as you regarded him with a calculating gaze. “Fine. Though if you’re so desperate for company, then you tell me something interesting. Junior.”
Barty blinked, not having expected you to actually engage. His grin grew and he felt pride bloom in your chest as you began to sport your own.
"Oh, I'll tell you anything you want, if it'll keep your attention on me, Treasure."
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thewitchblue · 2 months ago
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"Why'd he send you?"
Bruce asked bluntly, his Batman suit on with his gaggle of children evasdropping in the background not-so-subtly. I quirked an unamused eyebrow at the bulky man in front of me.
"It just so happens that I owed Constantine a favour. Do you want my help, or do you want to deal with your little demon friend all by yourself?"
Batman huffs an amused laugh. This is the best demonologist Constantine claims in the world? Red Robin asked Nightwing in a mutter,
"I'm not seeing things, am I?"
Apparently, he didn't think I'd hear him. I smirked as I turned my attention to the older Robin. He nervously shifted his weight when my intense gaze watches him, before becoming a bit panicked once he realized he physically cannot move away from me as I approach. I eye him up-and-down with appreciation before saying,
"You're cute, Little Red. Let's get coffee sometime. After I banish this fucker, of course."
This seemed to surprise everyone in the cave, but my focus was back to the demon Batman managed to get an attachment to.
"Now, how did you manage to get this fucker attached to you? Were you feeling especially lonely and struck a deal?"
I eye Batman curiously. Red Hood chuckles in amusement, but I choose to ignore him. There is a weird tension in the room when Red Hood and Batman make eye contact, so I clear my throat loudly to draw attention back to me as I study the cage that the demon is currently trapped in it. He managed to isolate and contain the demon, so that's a start. He sighs and explains,
"No, I'm not lonely enough to stoop so low."
I give an acknowledging hum. My eyes stay trained on the demon. It was rattling the cage it was imprisoned in, hissing and cursing at me while I approach it.
"Let's just ask the demon then, shall we?"
I stop in front of the demon and ask it,
"Now, what deal did you two make?"
The demon merely growled in response. I growl back at it, reaching into its body and squeezing its heart until it whimpered. I hiss,
"Answer me."
Its gravelly voice said,
"I was promised a new body by an alternative Batman. Clearly, I made a wrong turn."
I purred as I released my grip,
"Good boy."
Batman frowned in thought, but stayed silent by my side. He seemed to already have an idea of who struck the deal.
"Now, which Batman promised you this wanker?"
The demon snarls,
"He goes by Owlman. He merely promised me a Batman."
I give a thoughtful hum as I fully remove my hand from its heart, wiping off the dark blood from my hand.
"Well, that turned out swimmingly for you, didn't it?"
It snarled in response to my false sympathy. Red Hood snorts at my antics. He seemed to be entertained by the entire situation.
"Well, it appears your little deal wasn't fully thought out. I'm sending you back. Next time, possess Owlman instead."
I murmur my spell softly to myself before snapping in a particular pattern. The demon howled before it dissipates like mere smoke. I crack my knuckles nervously before turning back to the Batfamily and saying,
"If you need my services again, ask Little Red over there. He has my number."
Red Robin looked confused until he reached into his pocket and felt the slip of paper I planted on him. He pulls the slip of paper out of his pocket to the dismay of everyone in the cave. I send a wink his way once his disbelieving eyes turn back to me.
With a wave of my hand, I disappear from their cave before anyone could reply. Truthfully, I was a tad nervous to hear his reply. I'm still rusty when dealing with the living after spending so many years trapped in a metaphorical cage with anti-magic wards. Before John saved my sorry arse, I was entrapped for pissing off the wrong crowd.
I have much more experience with the dead and celestial as a result. They are a lot easier to figure out and handle than regular human beings.
Tim had never been more conflicted. Granted, he didn't have anyone who showed genuinely interest in him like this demon hunter. He had to applaud the flawless effort.
"Aww, you two would be so cute!"
Dick said with an encouraging grin. Dick, of course, was excited and happy for his brother. He wraps an arm around him in a side hug before letting go and saying,
"You should reach out! The chemistry between you two reminds me of myself and Starfire."
Jason rolls his eyes and fakes gags at Dick's brotherly excitement. Despite his annoyed exterior, he still defends Tim,
"You care too much, Grayson. Let my replacement come to his own decisions."
Tim gives a shy smile. The demonologist was rather cute and he appreciates the boldness and the stealth it took to even slip the note in his pocket. He softly says,
"Maybe I will."
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moonstruckme · 4 months ago
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Hii honey!! I hope you’re doing good, would you be willing to write about the reader trying to quit smoking weed and either Sirius or Remus helps her through it <3. I’m currently on day 2 of quitting and it’s SO HARD, but it’ll be good for me
Hi lovely, thank you for requesting! Hope quitting is going okay for you, I've heard the first week is the worst but I'm rooting for you!
cw: weed (reader isn't smoking but is around people who are), reader has hair long enough to reach her neck
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 844 words
The sound of Marlene flicking her lighter reaches you like a siren’s call. You can hear it from across the room, your head turning towards her automatically. She raises a blunt to her lips, smoke pluming from between them a moment later. You know it’s impossible, but you think you can smell it already. You breathe in like you can taste it. 
“I’m spent.” Sirius’ voice sounds like it’s coming from faraway, but his hand wrapping around your thigh is solid. It brings you back to your side of the room, where your boyfriend’s looking at you with a jovial grin and a knowing flicker in his eyes. “You ready to head out, gorgeous?” 
“I could stay longer if you want to,” you say, trying to tell him it’s okay. Even if there’s an insistent tugging in your middle, a familiar ache in your lungs, dying to bring you to where Marlene sits. 
Sirius doesn’t hesitate. “No, I think I’d rather get you to myself.” 
James groans for show, but his expression is fond as he watches Sirius pull you up from the couch and tug you playfully into his side. He loves seeing his best friend in love; he’s told you directly more than once. 
“We’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. “Rem’s off somewhere with Lily, but I’ll make sure he’s up in time.” 
“We could always push until the afternoon,” Sirius tries, grabbing both of your jackets from where they’re slung across the back of the couch. You feel a bit like you’re in a daze, the headache that’s been pestering you all day suddenly an insistent throb. 
“Fat chance.” James waves you both off with a laugh. “See you bright and early, Pads.” 
“Wanker,” Sirius mutters as you turn away, but he doesn’t stop to argue further, guiding you out of the party while you both call hasty goodbyes to your friends. When Marlene raises her hand in a wave, your vision narrows on the blunt between her fingers as you smile in reply. 
Outside, the night air is fresh and pleasantly cool. Goosebumps skitter up your arms, and you take your jacket from Sirius, letting him hold your bag while you shrug it on. 
“I thought we might walk home,” he says, watching you with something hidden in his expression as you pull your hair out of your collar and take your bag back. “Does that sound good?” 
“Yeah,” you agree, starting in the direction of Sirius’ place. Walking is good for your head when the cravings are bad like this, you’ve found. Your boyfriend knows this. “Thanks for getting me out of there.” 
He falls into stride beside you, slipping a hand into your back pocket like that’s where it belongs. “Figured I ought to do my part in keeping you out of trouble.” 
You huff a laugh. “Doesn’t sound much like you.” 
“I know.” Sirius’ nose wrinkles. Somehow he manages to make even that look pretty. “Look what you’re doing to me, sweetheart. I’m disgusted with myself.” 
You roll your eyes, and he grins, squeezing your butt playfully through your pants. Your laughter rings out sharply on the quiet street. 
“I wouldn’t worry too much,” you assure him. “You and your friends are still terrible influences on me.” 
Sirius gasps loudly. His hand slips from your back pocket and he fists both in the front of your jacket, a grin slicing across his face as he yanks you closer. “That so?” he asks in a low voice.
It’s impossible to keep your own lips from curving. “Mhm.” 
“I resent these accusations. We’ve just left a house full of saints. You can see their halos glowing right above their heads.” 
“Then you’ve had more to drink than I thought.” 
Sirius’ laugh rings out, loud and stomach-flipping. He kisses you soundly with a smile on his face, fingers still bunched in your jacket. “Really,” he says, slipping an arm around your waist as you start walking again, “do you want me to tell Marls not to smoke around you? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind taking it outside.” 
You take a deep breath. Remind yourself that the air clearing your head instead of muddling it is a good thing. “No, that’s alright. I’m going to have to get used to it eventually.” 
Sirius makes an agreeable humming sound. He presses a kiss to your temple. “Proud of you, sweetheart.” 
You huff a laugh, though the words start a pleasant buzzing in your chest. “Sap.” 
“Don’t tell Jamie.” 
“Oh, I’m telling him.” 
“No,” Sirius says firmly, as if you can’t hear the laughter in his tone, “it’s only for you. If you tattle on me I’ll have to stop doing it.” 
You roll your eyes, going quiet. It’s not so much an aquiescence as a contented silence, but you let your boyfriend take it for what he will. He squishes you up against his side fondly. 
“I am, you know,” he says, voice softening with sincerity. “I’m proud of you, baby.” 
You suppose that for now, that can be enough for you.
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v1x3n · 9 months ago
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡+ - CHUBBY READER
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simon 'ghost' riley x reader ⸝⸝ navigation ୨୧ tags : fluff, smut
୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : headcannons about chubby reader x simon riley!!
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To everyone who thinks Simon ‘ghost’ Riley would have a chubby/fat partner. You are spot on, ive thought about this for as long as ive seen ghost and he for sure would.
The comfort that he can do whatever and you will not snap in two just makes him feel alive. With anyone he's been with - any height, body type. Anything. You're the only one who he loves most and God, your body is one of the best things!
He loves to grip onto you, your hips, thighs. Anything he can hold and squeeze without it hurting. Your thick thighs moving around the house could make a man levitate. So fucking hot. Your thighs that flow around the couch when you sit could make him cum on the spot. He loves thick, massive thighs. Needs something to sleep on and they do the trick. The most comfortable night's sleep he's ever had honestly.
Your arse is bigger though, the round plump shape that shakes when he slaps it. Each and everything you bend over his hand connects with your bum, ripples dancing along the fat as you spin around and glare him in the eyes.
"Oi"
"couldn't help it, sorry dove” his stupid smirk soon followed.
He felt powerful. No, he feels invisible when he picks you up, showing off how fucking strong he is. He does it a few times a week at least, he knows he likes it and he knows you do too. You both love it, both knowing you are just a feather to him. Hardly anything worth straining over.
If you are insecure, be prepared for the amount of:
Compliments
Ego booting
Telling off (sorta)
Showing off
Touching
cause theres a lot. His compliments ranged from fluffy stuff to the naughty, wet pussy compliments. The kind of stuff that would get you squirming in your seat, legs closed trying not to let the moist out from your dirty cunt.
"Fucking hell, look at this gorgeous ass body. wann’ just bend you over and show how much I love your thick ass.” He would groan.
When trying on an outfit, then wondering ‘do I look massive?’ almost makes him teleport to you. Your trying on a sexy little piece. One you wouldn't normally wear. When he passes you, his eyes instantly spot your thighs, the soft skin glowing under the dress, then your bum (obviously) then your gorgeous hair. He could practically radiate your bad thoughts.
"God, that looks so good on you, so so pretty. You wearing it anywhere? Well other than with me to bed.” Another smirk. You roll your eyes, you always do to his ridiculous lines like that.
Just on the couch, you're wearing something completely different from normal. Most days you were just comfortable in your underwear or just one of his shirts but today? Today you were in a baggy hoodie and joggers that float around your body, the once flesh now just a sag of material. He knew something was off.
“Dove? What are you wearing?” his eyebrows shoving up to almost his hairline.
"something comfy” your faux smile after just hitting him in the head with what was wrong. Your lies were outrageous and he knew whenever something was going on.
"don't give me that, your body is fucking gorgeous!” He sits next to you and wraps his arm around you which shoves you into his chest. "You shouldn't think anything negative about it. Id just have to prove how fucking beautiful you are” a blush spread across your cheeks. Remembering the last incident when he ��proved it’.
Out at a bar again, you're too hammered. Way too drunk. You had promised you wouldn't that much because it was a little meeting up with his team. His team loved you, all of them. Price treated you as if you were one of them, Soap loved to come round to yours at least once every few months to try your delicious cooking and Gaz loved how you dress, you two would talk about it and pick out orders from fashion brands together. But anyway! You are outrageously drunk. wankered. Barley able to stand up thats when your truck like boyfriend comes to the rescue. Picking you up and shoving your short little skirt down so you dont flash anything thats his. Clearly flexing his muscles as he does so, showing everyone how built and strong he is.
“time for home love, let's get you sober up hm?”
His arm warped around your waist when he saw you cooking, softly patting your belly and his hand moving down your pants. You sequel "Simon! "I am cooking!” your words really pronounced. It doesn't really look like he cares though with how he carries on. His fingers play with the seams of your underwear before slipping into them, touching your clit slightly. "I need to make your- fuck!” moan as he taps into it hardly. His free hand grabs onto your left boob and squeezes the fat. Your nipples pop through the middle of his fingers when he rubs them in between. You scream out. The sensation of both his hands working at you could just make you feel the orgasm pushing out.
"Recken you could focus on cooking? Divint want burnt food dove” his lips brought to your neck and pecks a soft kiss there. His smug grin could be felt. Dick.
All the sensitivity is working up and creating loud moans and high pitched whines. Your eyes roll back for a second before you focus back on the food, trying not to let it burn. Flipping it over and gribbing his hand from over the fabric. Pushing his fingers onto it more which makes yet another mewl. “dirty little thing, ain't it?” he taps it a few times. Like a pat you give your mate before leaving. And with that he removes himself from the sticky situation. Plopping himself onto the couch, ready for dinner and hoping for dessert.
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wraithdance · 3 months ago
Text
The Five Year Plan | Gaz x Reader
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Note: F!Reader but no gendered terms in this chapter, Fat/Plus sized Reader, Reader is implied to be Black but can be read as WoC, Readers nickname is 'Siggy', there will be no y/n use Content warning: terrible grasp of british-isms, parental angst, sick parent (cancer), some reader backstory for storytelling purposes, talks of pregnancy and readers womb, fatphobia from a parent, food mentions. (lmk if I need to tag something else for filtering!!)
Chapter Three: Don't tell mum
It is an ungodly hour of the morning and you have a sugar hangover and a canopy bed full of empty wrappers.
You’d spent the night crying and cursing stupid posh, blond men with trust funds and selective sperm practices. Which then led you to curse even stupider, infuriating wankers with pretty brown eyes and smooth burnished skin.
(Also the perky twits the two species have tea and procreate with, but you’re trying to do a better job of showing unwavering solidarity with other women. Despite the present fuckery at hand that is.)
A brief glance in the mirror of your vanity reflects the deep dark circles under your eyes and the evidence of your emergency chocolate eclairs on the bodice of your moo-moo. The silk lined linen had been no match for the wild disarray of your hair during the night. You looked quite frightening really. You don’t even need to glance at the framed Olivia Pope photo on your nightstand to know your fictional icon would be utterly disgusted at the state of you.
This would not do.
Sitting up from your pillow you point an accusing finger to the wobbling lipped wretch in the mirror and take a deep steadying breath for fortitude.
"Tits up, buttercup! There's no crying in show business!" you bellow at the watery reflection firmly.
The wretch in the mirror looks no more enthusiastic than before.
Mentally you shrug. Sure the motto is not as an effective motivator as it is with the raspy American accent of your chain smoking paternal aunt, but still. It's the thought that counts! With shoulders back and head high you're determined to expel angst from your body like water off a duck's arse. You force your mouth into a semblance of a smile that doesn't reach your eyes and tumble-scooch out of the nest of blankets in the middle of your bed. 
It was Saturday and you had an overbearing mother to visit (and subsequently lie to). If you didn’t get it together she’d smell the bitter notes of ‘Eau de Failure’ wafting over you like a shark scenting blood in the water. So with that in mind, you prepare for war with a nice candle and the motivating sounds of a beloved global hero. 
“Breakup, shmake-up! Alexa, be a dear and play Chaka Khan, we need this show back on the road. Pronto!”
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An incoming text comes in briefly interrupting your improvised rendition of ‘I’m Every Woman’ while you perform (lounge) in the tub. With suds scarily close to your face you squint at the message from your father with one eye.
> Nurses called, mums in a mood.
You scowl. To be frank there’s not a time as of late where your mum wasn’t in a mood. Waving an arm in the air to dispel the bubbles covering your hand, you type out a text back.
< Gobsmacked, truly. Send rating for level of risk in engaging the matriarch, Skipper.
The reply comes in seconds. You can imagine your tech averse father having already expected the request and having a reply at the ready. 
> Threat level five, Captain.
You scrunch your nose and make a whine of irritation. 
Bugger. The scale only went up to six. 
With a sigh you send a simple ‘Roger that’ and sink lower into the bathtub. It was probably best to add more bubbles and break out the epsom salts. You were going to need all the relaxation you could get.
An hour later you’re dressed and slathered in body butter, glistening like a plump glazed ham. 
Outside your flat you’re shifting your bag around to find the knock off sunglasses somewhere traversing at the bottom when the sound of the door across the wall causes you to tense. Kyle stands in his doorway shuffling with a small plastic bag in hand and a sheepish smile. He’s blinking sleep from his eyes and scrunching his face as if the light filtering in the drab hallway disturbs him greatly. 
Your gut clenches seeing the serene yellow glow cascading across his brown skin. (It wasn’t fair that even the sun was a biased ninny and painted the bane of your existence out to be an ethereal creature.)
You give him a look up and down that you hope is less awestruck and all venom. It’s hard not to get distracted by the low hang of his gray sweatpants and the compression shirt that encompasses his broad chest. 
Sweet blueberries, the man dressed like a common whore. 
Sniffing you turn your nose up at him, shoving your sunglasses on your face when you finally reach them.
“Garrick.”
He smiles wider despite your dry tone. “Good morning, love.” 
“Were you just standing there at the door waiting for me?”
Kyle gives you a flat look in return with slightly less chipper-ness. He shifts his arms to rest in a cross, the bag swinging from the crook of his elbow like a metronome. His biceps bulge in a way that makes you want to clutch your pearls. 
(Or bite him. Hard.)
“I wasn’t waiting at the door.” He’s not quite mocking the cadence of your voice but you still wonder if you could get away with braining him with your overstuffed bag.
“I just happened to be nearby and I know you always leave around this time on Saturdays.”
You roll your eyes. 
“So you were waiting at the door then. You know Garrick stalking is illegal in the UK. I would hope you’d know that being military and such.”
Kyle narrows his eyes into slits. His nostrils flare as his once bright smile turns sardonic, gravely affronted.  
“Don’t know if you’re always such a charm in the mornings, love, but like I said, wasn't waiting around.” He clips. You are incensed at the degree of excitement that shoots through you at his rare snark. 
(You make a mental note to have one of the cute nurses at mum’s care center check you over for possible head trauma.)
“Besides,” He gives you a pointed look. “You would know something about illegal acts considering you’re the one who got banned from the resident’s meetings for nicking the snacks.”
The gasp of offense you let out is involuntary. Morning Kyle was not only scandalously dressed but also very rude!
“I did not steal anything, Garrick, they were complimentary for the residents!” You snark haughtily, pushing your sunglasses up your nose with a manicured finger. “I happen to be a resident you know and I gave my compliments when I took them.”
Kyle lets out a bark of laughter. The sleep layered tenor makes your toes curl in your sensible slippers. 
Bugger he was pretty. 
“Is there something you need from me?” you ask when his laugh trickles off into chuckles.
Kyle sobers and shoots you a sheepish glance. “Ah yeah actually. I wanted to give you these.” 
Kyle maneuvers the bag off his arm and extends it to you. With an abundance of caution you accept the offering like one would handle a ticking bomb and peek inside. 
An assortment of moon cakes greets you at the bottom of the plastic. 
You can smell the crisp outer shell and the sweet red bean filling of the pastry signifying their freshness. You do the mental math in your head and realize he’d had to have been up at the crack of dawn to get in line for them at the shops around the way. 
The treats sold out in minutes and you very rarely got the opportunity to get them on your own during the season as you were prone to sleeping in.  
“What’s this for?” 
“It’s an apology.” He gives your bewildered look a self deprecating grimace. “I don’t know what the other night was about but I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings.”
Okay, no. Can’t have any of that now. 
You straighten up and put your hands on your hips. Kyle’s eyes follow your movements, staring for longer than polite. You clear your throat and he looks away when you give him an eyebrow raise in return. 
“Firstly, Garrick, you didn’t hurt my feelings, don't insult me. I was just taken aback.” pausing in consideration you peer over the rim of your glasses at the man. “What exactly did Madelyn tell you?”
Kyle shifts, one side of his mouth twitching upwards bringing your attention to the facial scar on his cheek.
“Nothing, actually. Just a lot of crying and mumbling about some Hugo. I honestly thought she was talking about a dog before I realized it was some chap she's seeing.”
You hum. Interesting, really.
You’d been sure he’d known more than he’d let on or at the very least that Madelyn would prove to be the unsavory sort to spill the beans on the sister wife shuffle you’d been unwittingly involved in. 
A glance at your watch shows you that you’ve spent too much time dawdling. No need to ruffle mum’s feathers further.
“Well, this has been lovely, Garrick, but I have to cut out. Places to go, people to see and such.” You shake the bag in your hand in emphasis, “Thanks for the goodies. it ‘s very... Sweet of you.” 
“You’re welcome, love.”
You’re glad you thought to wear your shades, the smile he gives you is infused with satisfaction and warmth. (He really should be much more careful where he aims those things he’s liable to blind someone.)
With a twirl of your wrist you give Kyle a halfhearted wave goodbye. He watches you until the lift closes.
What a strange duck.
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You find your father at his usual haunt within the oncology unit of the extended care center. 
“Step away from the vending machine, Skipper. I come bearing tastier morsels.”
You smile at his wide eyed panic as he turns to you with shoulders to his ears. He curses low and pulls you into a bear hug, tight enough that a passing nurse shushes you for the squawk you let out. Your father’s miserably dramatic groan vibrates throughout your own chest and he lets out a puff of air.
“You’ve gotta announce yourself kid, I nearly shit myself.”
With a laugh you poke a finger into his rib causing him to jerk away from you. “It’s shat, do try to act like a proper Brit won’t you? Besides what's the fun in announcing myself when I can catch you red handed doing something you shouldn’t. Mum will be pissed you’re wasting money on vending machine biscuits ya’ know.”
Your father gives you a droll look when you snatch his change and shove it in your own pocket. 
(Someone has to pay the child tax after all.)
“Shit or shat, same difference and you would be the one responsible for cleaning me up, brat. And, I’ve been divorced from your mother for nearly a decade so I don’t care what she won’t like. I'm a grown ass man, I’m not afraid of her.”
Your eyes roll so far to the back of your head you swear you can see your medulla. He was so full of it.
“Yeah? So, if I told you not to tell mum something you’re not going to do that thing where you blurt it out the second she looks at you?”
He puts a hand over his heart in reply. “Of course I wouldn’t say anything. I’m a little offended right now, when have I ever run off at the mouth.”
You stomp your feet in irritation. He didn’t get to play clueless!
“Literally all the time. You’re the reason she sent me to that awful boarding school for nicking one of your cigarettes! I’m still scared of nuns you know- stop laughing!”
Your father continues to chuckle and pats your face. When you swat his hand away the look he gives you is unimpressed and flippant.
“In my defense, you were thirteen and had no business smoking in the first place, much less skipping class to do it. I had to put fear into you so you didn’t come out a delinquent.” 
“By telling mum?” You quirk a brow.
“Course, what’s scarier?” He gives you a smug look, linking his arms in yours. You both set a pace down the hall in the direction of your mothers room. 
“Besides, I wouldn’t be a father if I hadn't done whatever it took, you were very rebellious and snotty at the time. But still, it worked out didn’t it? Got a cool nickname out of it. Siggy, the chain smoking lawyer.”
You start to glare at him but the word father makes you wince and he catches it. “What’s the look?”
“So about being a father,” you slow to a stop just outside your mothers door. You give the nurse at reception a tight smile and try to come up with a way to say the thing. 
“Hugo got someone pregnant.” 
It takes the old man some time for it to click. You watch his mind whir putting together the things you didn’t say. Finally he levels you with a smirk much like a cat who drank the cream would wear.
“No shit? Didn’t think he had the cojones for that, you’d kept them in your purse long enough.”
The look you give him is unimpressed, he snickers. How dreadful, you were being parented by a child. 
“Yes well,” you look away “according to him I wasn’t mother material and he dumped me for the other woman.”
Your father hums “Tragic that. Didn’t like him very much so I can’t say I’ll miss him. He send you off with something?”
He motions his head at the plastic bag you fiddled with subconsciously. With a snort you hand it over, watching his eyes light ups when he digs through its contents.
“No, gift from my neighbor.” you wait until he’s taken a moon cake out of its individual wrapping before leveling him a glare. “Under no circumstances are you allowed to tell mum that Hugo and I broke up.”
Your father shrugs off your concern with a wave. “Yup got it. Won’t hear a peep out of me about it.” He takes a big bite that sends pastry flecks over his shirt and you roll your eyes.
Facing the door to the hospital room you roll your shoulders back and prepare yourself mentally.
The sound of a wrapper crinkly disturbs whatever inner peace you search for in the universe.
“Please Siggy, I served with guys in the Navy with less seriousness going into battle.” 
Good grief.
“Eat your sweets please.” You cluck, “I need to meditate before I walk in there.”
Your father ha-rumps in reply but thankfully keeps quiet. When you feel some semblance of self control you shoot a look behind you.
“Remember not a single word!”
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Your mother is propped against mounds of pillows. She looks every bit like a queen holding court despite the tubing and wires running along her body. Her sallow skin is grayish in tint, far from the myriad of browns you remember from your youth. 
Yet her scowl remains sharp and dagger-like in nature.
“Oh, how nice of you to show up. I thought this was your way of telling me you want me to die alone.”
Your father shoots you a look as he finishes off the cake. Threat level five indeed.
You smile at her sheepishly which only makes her glare more.
“I got tied up with my neighbor, sorry mum. I’m here now though. What’s been going on?” 
Your mother says nothing instead choosing to follow you with her eyes as you make your way to the armchair beside her bed. When you’re seated she sucks her teeth and looks you up and down before gesturing at your still standing father with her head. 
“Why did you bring this traitorous shadow on my doorstep, eh? I already have a sickness, why must you make me suffer more?”
Your father rolls his eyes before gesturing a thumb over his shoulder.
“Alright… glad we had this talk. I’ll just run to the cafeteria.” Your father turns tail and leaves without waiting for a reply. Your mother gives you a look.
“Wisdom chases your father but unfortunately he is faster.”
“Please, that’s mean, mum.” You ignore her brush off, “He comes to visit with me every weekend even when he doesn’t have to, maybe you should give him a break.” 
Your mother is silent, choosing to disregard your scolding by facing away and watching the drama playing out on the telly. You allow the dismissal, watching along with her and sharing occasional comments on the plot. 
During an advertisement break she folds her hands into her lap and shifts to get a good look at you.
“Are you pregnant yet?”
You jerk back into the cushions of the chair, “No!”
She frowns. “Why not, you are getting old? 
And here we go.
“Mum,” you start carefully, “You say this every time you see me and I have to remind you once more that I’m not old. It’s actually pretty rude, you know, to suggest I need a baby because I’m aging.”
She huffs adjusting the nasal cannula. You look at the IV in her thin hand and the feeling of wrongness makes your body vibrate with anxiety. 
She shouldn’t be here.
You don’t get a chance to think about it anymore when she leans over the railing of her bed to stare deep into your eyes.
“What’s happened to that Humphrey fellow, what is he saying about your empty womb?”
For fucks sake!
“It’s Hugo and he’s got nothing to say about my womb because it’s not his bloody-” you refuse to amend the curse when she swats at you with the hand closest to you, “it’s not his bloody business mother, I’m not a breeding mare!” 
She narrows her eyes, jaw working as she contemplates your tense shoulders. “Where is he?” 
You recoil. For. Fucks. Sake!
You try to look casual while sitting back in the armchair, your unseeing glaze pretending to be interested in the period piece that now plays on the in-unit television.
“He’s around or whatever. Doing fiancé things and all that jazz. Super happy. Great guy, truly the best.”
Your mother lets out a sharp ‘Ha!’ She calls your full name in the tone. The ‘I have birthed you and I will end you’ like filicide is her right as a mother, tone. You sink low into the chair.
“What, mother?”
“You are lying, I can tell. Where is Harold and what happened to your engagement? If you’ve run off another man I will cut you from my will.”
You snort humorlessly.
“Like I said Hugo is fine where he is. Besides you don’t have a will, I know because I oversee your legal paperwork and you refuse to sit down and draft one with me.”
She mumbles something unintelligible about everyone speaking death onto her when your father walks into the room with a cup of coffee.
You see the second your mother sets up a plan of attack and your father does too in the way he freezes in fear like a doe in the path of a wolf. 
“Where is the child’s husband-”
“He broke up with her!" He blurts with wide, dodgy eyes, "Got some girl pregnant and ran off.” 
He returns your disgusted look with a shrug. “Sorry, Siggy got nervous.”
Seriously, the man needed some backbone! He’s not even married to her any more! You’re opening your mouth to lay into him when your mother launches her own attack on you both.
“Do not call my child that awful name, you discombobulated fool!” you mouth the word ‘discombobulated’, the woman was creative with her insults, you’ll give her that.
“And you!” she wags her finger in your direction with a stiff lip, “You should be ashamed of yourself for lying to your own ailing mother. Quickly, how did you manage to run this one off? I am dying to hear it.”
Primly you sit up, adjusting the hem of your shirt around your tummy. Your time in court was much less daunting, to be honest, but you’re a believer in faking it until you make it.
“Mumsy, I didn’t run anyone off, thank you very much. In my defense he was a cheating oaf and he is free to do what he wants, it's no skin off my back.”
She laughs haughtily and it makes you feel awful. 
“He wouldn’t have left if you gave him children!”
The dark desire to mention that giving a man a child hadn’t worked out in her favor when you catch your father’s look. He shakes his head, knowing you well enough to pluck the vicious thought from your mind.
You swallow back the biting retort in defeat.
“Mum please. Hugo said he didn’t want kids right away” you mentally add the ‘children with you’ with a frown, “I believed him when he said it and that’s not something I should be punished for.”  
Your mother sits back in bed, raising her hands in the air in defeat. 
“Everyone else in the family has a grandchild or three!” She cuts her eyes at you, “Why was I the one cursed with a child who buys ugly bags instead of raising babies.”
The pit in your stomach grows as tears prickle your eyes. “My bags aren’t ugly and its very mean of you to suggest that.” you whimper dejectedly.
Your father takes a step and puts his hand on your shoulder.
“I think that’s enough, we should be comforting our child not being insulting. You didn’t like the man anyways so what's the issue?” 
Your mother just tuts and closes her eyes like she couldn’t be arsed to have you both in sight a moment longer.
“He was also a fool.” She opens one eye to peek at you, “Your cousin is expecting again by the way.”
So that's what this was about, you snort.
“Yes well, terrible for you to compare me to my underage cousin when she’s barely a teenager with her second child on the way. You know as well as I do the family was in a kerfuffle about it the first time!”
Your father hums in agreement, voicing his support (a little late after having caused this mess, but still.)
“You should be proud to have a kid who has degrees, a great career -an admittedly shit flat,” He ignores your sound of objection “but otherwise really fabulous things going on. Say something nice, please.”
Your mother sniffs “I’m getting older and who knows if this sickness takes me to glory. The child obviously wants me to die without a grandbaby.”
Your sigh is deep and loud in the room. You know for a fact she's bringing up her cancer to twist the knife in deeper. Yet you heard from her yourself that the doctors crowed about the progress of her health.
“Mum please don’t keep saying stuff like that. It really hurts my feelings because you know I love you and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” 
You watch your mother fight to not soften with your admission. She doesn't look directly at you, glancing more in your general direction. You place a hand over hers on top of the covers, squeezing her fingers tight. The dull shine of her wedding band catches the light of the side table lamp. 
She squeezes your hand back and lifts it out from under yours to pat your fingers. You know it's the only form of apology you’ll get from her. She does ruin it though, moments after.
“Your wrists are like sausage casings, have you gotten bigger?”
Yes well, that was your sign that it was time to go.
“Well lovely as always to see you mum,” you shift to a stand reaching for your bag at your feet and patting your father on the arm. “Think I’m going to pop out and consider my life choices and all.”
She tells you not to be cheeky when you kiss her cheek. She ignores your father’s goodbye  and continues on with watching her shows.
On the walk out front your father stops you from leaving. He lights up a cigarette, the cloying menthol aroma turning your stomach. 
(You never could pick one up again after that traumatizing moment in secondary school.)
Your father is quiet for some time, flicking the ash of his cigarette occasionally in deep thought. You don’t make an effort to break the silence, thinking of your own recollection of another successfully humiliating interaction with your mother. They’d been happening a lot more as of late and it was starting to wear a hole in your heart.
When you shuffle in place your father finally looks at you with a softened glint in his eye. He stumps out his ciggie and places a hand on your shoulder.
“You and your mother are just alike.”
Snorting, you look off to the darkening parking lot, settling your gaze on a flickering street lamp in the distance. You try to ignore the warbling view from behind the tears in your eyes.
“Wouldn’t let her hear that. I’m sure she’d pop her lid at the very suggestion.” You don’t mean to, but bitterness coats your tongue before you can stop yourself, “Poor, fat, pathetic Siggy mucking her perfect plans up as always.”
Your father shoots you a warning glance, not liking your tone or the self deprecation dripping from your mouth. Being under his steel gaze makes you feel childish but you refuse to show it, meeting his look head on.
Because like it or not it was the truth. Whether she said it outright she wasn’t satisfied with your person.
You’d grown up always being on the wrong end of your mothers ire. No matter how hard you tried otherwise. But there wasn’t an excellent mark you could get, a partner you could bring home, or even a diet you could go on. You were always just… lacking.
Your father sighs in the night.
“You’re just as hard headed as her, you know that? Just as quick to cut down an idea that doesn’t fit your vision.”
Catching the defeated slump of your shoulders he calls your name. When you don’t look at him he tucks a finger beneath your chin forcing you to meet his gaze. Love and sadness sit on his weathered skin like a cloak. 
“It’s not a bad thing, Captain. I know being all brass and bull dick helps you at that fancy ass firm of yours but it keeps you from smelling the roses from time to time.”
You wrinkle your nose at the crassness, not sure how to take being compared to bulls testicles. He continues on.
“You also got her flare for dramatics and her ambitious nature. It’s why you two have been butting heads since you could set up and talk.”
Whoa, not the case!
“She butts heads with me!” You cry out, “I don’t know what I could possibly be doing to trigger her but I’m exhausted figuring it out. I just want-“
The lump in your throat stops you and you take a shaky breath. 
“I just want her to be on my side for once? Instead of being worried about me embarrassing her in front of the family.”
He gives you a sad smile.
“She’s just scared. Been on the wrong end of the hyenas before, I think she tries to nag you into submission in hopes she can spare you half the pain.”
That you can’t help but give an unbelieving look to.
“Please she acts like the head hyena most days. It’s hard to believe she’s ever been judged the way she judges me.”
Your father hums humorlessly, wrapping an arm over your shoulder to smush you into his side.
“You’d be surprised. She’d gut me, then stuff me over the mantle for saying it, but I have it on good authority that she’s on thin ice with her side of the family as well.”
You sniffle past the tears on your lashes, blinking to peer at him. “Well don’t leave me in suspense, old man. What’s the story behind that?”
Your father chuffs and flicks the tip of your nose, you whine rubbing the sore spot left behind. 
“I got your old man alright, you little shit.” He laughs boisterously, “They’re pissed she dared marry me, an American. Then by doing me the honor of birthing you, the most loving, headstrong tornado of a child a man can ask for, despite their objections.”
The forehead kiss he plants on you brings more watery fluid to your eyes. You hide the emotion by frowning and pretending to wipe off imaginary residue from your forehead.
“I’m not following.” You snark flatly. It earns you a pinch.
“They’re pissed she went against them then had the nerve to agree to divorce me when it was all said and done. That’s on top of inconveniencing them by getting sick. Your mum’s been on the chopping block far longer than you’ve been and the pressure is getting to her.”
He lets out a long suffering sigh and you imagine he’s reliving the hard years that came about after the divorce. The constant yelling and coldness within your childhood home still sends ice down your spine. Your father notices the resulting shiver and rubs your arm to provide warmth into your limbs.
“Despite our differences, I know your mum is just worried you’ll face the same treatment she did when she went and ran off with me, the ‘no good American’ while on vacation.”
You sigh, still not really understanding. It was definitely unfortunate their treatment of your parents' marriage. You’d witnessed it in the slick remarks of your aunties and the other elders over the years. 
Your father had done what he could to shield you from figuring out his ostracism up until he’d asked your mother for a divorce. 
It wasn’t fair to either of them that the family was so caught up in outdated traditions to see your parents had loved each other once. But you couldn’t live like this and you say so.
“You said it yourself, you've been divorced for ages. It’s not fair that she puts so much pressure on me when I don’t give a damn about what they say. I’ve never amounted to anything they want and I refuse to exhaust myself trying to meet her expectations.”
Your father nods in agreement.
“That’s valid, Siggy. Ultimately I just want you to make your own path. I’ll talk to her about laying off, promise.” He cocks his head and squints at you. 
“What?” You give him a worried perusal.
“Are you still mad that I spilled the beans about the fiancé situation?”
You laugh, pinching him around the middle. “I’m still very upset actually. You sold me out so quickly, it’s like you didn’t even try!”
He shrugs shamelessly. “It was me or you. I had to put myself first in the end.”
You roll your eyes and enjoy the swaying hug he keeps you in. After some time he speaks, peering at you.
“Your little friend Blue is right, by the way, that Hugo man does look like a chihuahua.”
“Dad, please.” 
“I’m just saying, Captain, might have gotten lucky after all. wouldn’t want you to go off and birth a litter of pups with a french accent.”
Your resulting cackle echoes loudly into the night.
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A/N lol sorry for taking forever for an update and all the parental angst lmao. If you can’t tell I suffer from mommy issues and I was avoiding writing this chapter. Excited, next part the good shit begins :’D
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mo-ok · 3 months ago
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A little over halfway there, heres every hero I've met so far
❤️💙💛 a very brief and deeply serious word about every season 🩷🖤💚
( x x x x x x x x x )
Denziman: Scooby Doo but the dog is kind of an asshole 10/10 tits out Kenji Ohba
Goggle V: the most standard, normal sentai you will ever watch 10/10 lemme just red ruby beam that for u real quick
Dynaman: YUME WO KANAETE 🧨 DYNAMAAAAAAAAN 10/10 im fully convinced the black clone technique is just a thing Junichi Haruta can do
Bioman: this show is about ONE THING and thats MIKA JUN YABUKI 10/10 sexual lady saturday
Changeman: im not ok thanks for asking 10/10 im eating glass over this show
Flashman: OOF. OUCH. OUGH. 10/10 this one hurts
Liveman: OOF. OUCH. OUGH. 10/10 friends how could you
Fiveman: anyone that says this is the worst one hasnt actually watched it 10/10 sibling teachers save me. Save me sibling teachers
Dairanger: best suits in the franchise 10/10 dont let his baby face fool you that boy is ripped AND shredded
Kakuranger: 30th anniversery ending dance 10/10 silly ninja show is very very good actually
Carranger: red racer x Zonnette otp otp otp 10/10 let your kids play outside or else they'll become cops
Megaranger: they were just kids man they shouldnt have had to deal with all that 10/10 show me the silly man in the shiny jacket please
Gingaman: you know what? Maybe i WILL throw myself on the ground and lie in the sun for a while 10/10 kuro kishi Hyuuga
GoGoV: Matoi is there have you met Matoi he's a wanker bastard and i love him 10/10 killing the dad with hammers
Gaoranger: if you wanna feel like sentai is being beamed directly into ur brain watch this one 10/10 oh my god. Oh my god.
Hurricaneger: this one is a BL in disguise 10/10 Yousuke x Ikkou 4eva
Magiranger: some of the best monster and mech designs in the franchise 10/10 i love this magical family with my whole heart
Boukenger: my go to recommendation tbh 10/10 adventure for treasure boukenger START UP 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️
Gekiranger: KEEP MOVING. DONT MAKE ME STOP. 10/10 if you want plot and character progression watch this one
Go-Onger: now THIS is super sentai 1000000/10 you should watch rpm as well. Watching both increases the enjoyment 1000%
Kyoryuger: dancing dinosaurs. Very good. You agree 10/10 otp confirmed after 10 year wait
ToQger: OOF. OUCH. OUGH. 10/10 just watch it dont look anything up just watch it
Zyuohger: most misunderstood and overhated season tbh 10/10 the characters are meant to be like that. Its kinda the central theme of the show. Stop being mean to Misao
Kyuranger: my first sentai 🥰 10/10 houou soldier is a change dragon reference
Kiramager: if Boukenger doesnt catch ur fancy this one would also be a good place to start 10/10 i'll take outdated meme for 100 thanks Grant
King Ohger: in a word? Ambitious. 10/10 you can go to the quarry. As a treat.
Boonboomger: TBD ❤️💙🩷🖤🧡💜
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onceuponaoneshotfanfic · 8 months ago
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Head Over Heels in the Moment
I'm Bright Baby Blue, Falling Into You
How Chelsea!Roy met his coach's daughter for the first time.
Roy Kent x Coach's Daughter!Reader 0.7k words Warnings: Language, Chelsea!Roy, Roy already being a fool for the reader
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Roy Kent wasn’t nervous about going to Chelsea. No way in hell. It was just Chelsea. Legendary Chelsea, with its history of greatness and high expectations for him.
Alright, fine, he was a smidge nervous.
But the moment he laced up his boots and stepped on the pitch, his nerves dissipated. Because no matter where he stood and no matter what kit he wore, it was still football. And Roy Kent loved football.
Just as he was starting to feel comfortable, a flash of pink caught his eye. He glanced away from the drill he was meant to be doing to take in the sight of a bright summer dress and a beaming smile. Fucking hell. If he thought his heart pounded when he ran around on the pitch, it was nothing compared to now. He tried to remember the last time his palms were this sweaty or his mouth this dry; he was failing to think of any instance.
He tapped the shoulder of the fella next to him. “Who’s that?” he asked, nodding towards the vision in pink on the sideline who had yet to even glance his way, instead cheering the names of other players. Players he suddenly wished he was.
His new teammate chuckled knowingly. “Ah. That’s Coach’s daughter. She’s always hanging around. Visits from uni whenever she can.” He clapped Roy on the shoulder sympathetically. “Stay away, though,” he said in a warning voice. “She’s completely off-limits.”
Roy rolled his eyes. “Not like I’m gonna do something,” he grumbled. “Just curious.”
Another knowing chuckle rumbled in his teammate’s chest as they resumed their drill. “Sure, Kent.”
Roy remained curious for the rest of training. He kept glancing over, trying to catch her eye. But she never looked his way. She stayed by her father’s side, watching training with a small smile on her lips. Players who came her way were greeted with waves and high-fives, as though they were old friends. He caught the way some of them looked at her; he wondered if he had the same stupid, dreamy expression on his own face. Probably did, he thought. Probably looked like a fucking wanker.
His curiosity finally got the best of him when he caught sight of her alone in the hallway after practice had ended. Telling himself he was just getting comfortable in his new home and trying to get to know people (what a fucking lie), he approached her with a half-wave.
“Oi,” he greeted as she stopped to look at him, eyebrows raised expectantly. “’m Roy.”
She nodded firmly. “I know.”
Roy tried to think of the last time a woman spoke to him so plainly. Some part of him kind of liked it. “You’ve heard of me then?” He dared to lean a smidge closer. “You a fan?”
Her eyeroll somehow managed to be charming. “I’ve been running your paperwork to HR all week,” she scoffed. Despite her aloofness, he could see the corners of her mouth tugging upwards. With another cool nod, she turned on her heel to walk away.
“Wait.” She glanced over her shoulder at him, curiosity finally coloring her face. “You going to tell me your name or what?” He cocked his head at her. “The guys just called you ‘princess’.”
Her eyes sparkled at what he guessed was a familiar nickname. “Guess you better get used to calling me ‘your royal highness’ then,” she mused.
Fuck. She was kind of funny, he realized; Roy tried not to find her so fucking attractive, he really did, but it was impossible. So impossible that he couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face as he shook his head gently at her. “Alright, next time I’ll be sure to mind my manners and curtsy pretty for you.”
That did it. She smiled at him, a real smile that filled her pretty face and made his heart stop in his chest. “Looking forward to it,” she hummed. With a wave over her shoulder, she resumed walking away, this time with a bit more of a spring to her step. “Welcome to Chelsea, Roy Kent.”
Roy unabashedly watched her walk away, his jaw slacking slightly. Off-limits, he reminded himself. Absolutely off-limits. But then she turned a corner, glancing back at him with that smile still on her face.
Fuck it, he thought. Maybe she’d be worth getting in a little bit of trouble for.
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lululandd · 1 year ago
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rabid; (i.)
pairing: platonic simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader
word count: 956
warnings: comedy, aftermath of torture, mild gore
note: heheh >:3 (also on ao3)
summary:
ghost has a love-hate relationship with his neighbour of six years. on one hand they’re quiet enough, nice enough, considerate enough and never once had bothered him in any way, but on the other hand he is a highly trained soldier with highly trained senses and the things he hears travelling through his walls are batshit insane.
part i. | part ii. | part iii. | part iv.
He guesses they are an entertainer or a comedian or some sort because on rare occasions, they—whether he wanted to or not—made him laugh. The absurdity of the questions and things that came out of their mouth really makes him feel like he has a glimpse of what a worry free civilian life could be.
On one particularly rowdy night he heard the one sided conversation about anal, which rapidly escalated to how peoples arseholes can stretch up to seven inches in diameter and therefore, theoretically could fit two smaller raccoons.
He listened in fascinated horror how that thought came into their mind, how they associated arseholes with raccoons, and why in christ fuck did they sound so cheerful about it. Maybe he’s just a battle hardened, workaholic soldier that has only seen carnage and suffering, but even if such a thought came to his mind, it would not be classified as a happy thought and he would not laugh about it.
Until eight months later where he’s interrogating an American that he really wants to just straight up murder and remembers his neighbour.
He opens the door that leads to the rest of the warehouse and calls out to his men, “I need two raccoons. Small but not pups.”
He was met with silence and a confused looks, but he saw Gaz and Soap get on it and round up several soldiers.
“Alive!” He barked at them.
Soap looked worriedly at Gaz, “What do you think he’s gonna do with live raccoons?”
The other man shrugged, “You think he’s gonna threaten him with rabies?” Gaz gnashed his teeth together, “Let them bite him or something?”
One of the Lance Corporals behind them chimed, “I kinda wanna see.”
In came a chime of ‘yeah’s from the other men.
Ghost had made sure the American in question heard his request of the live raccoons before taking a seat on the table holding all his tools and lighting up a cigarette.
He looked at the man’s surroundings, the litter of teeth and nails on the floor, three parts of his severed ring finger, and the blood splatters on the makeshift plastic floor. The cleanup crew’s gonna at least be a little happy about that.
“You like raccoons, mate?” He offers, lighting what seemed to be his third cigarette.
The question caught him off guard. “What?”
“Raccoons. Trash pandas. Those chubby lil wankers with grubby hands.” He curled his palms and did mock scratching motions.
“You’re crazy.” He spat.
“I am.” For even thinking of trying this over his neighbour’s demented jokes.
Fourty five minutes later Gaz came knocking on his door.
“Got your furry friends, boss.” He gestures at a cage sitting by the door. The animals seemed calm, they couldn’t have just nicked it from some random bins and throw them in there.
“Cheers, Gaz.” He saw the man linger. “Anything else?”
“Can we observe, Sir?”
“No.” came his quick answer. If he really has to do what he thinks he’s gonna do, he’d rather his men not see it. They’ve seen so much in their line of work already, he doesn’t want to add to their nightmares.
Imagining one of them having PTSD from seeing a harmless animal makes him feel guilty.
He took the cage from Gaz’s hands and placed it nicely on the floor, a little way away from the American’s feet.
“You know that saying?” He puts on his best southern accent, mimicking Graves. “What crawled up your butt and died?”
The man’s eyes widened and he tried so hard to shift further into his seat, trying to create as much distance between them as possible. Ghost lets the moment go on for a little longer. It makes all the difference, really; whether you rush into the torture or letting them sit and wonder about the choices they think they have.
“I heard somewhere that your arse can stretch up to seven inches in diameter.” He pointed at the raccoons, “The normal sized bastards can fit into a four inch hole. But I’m being nice today and gonna give these smaller ones some wiggle room.”
He can’t help but crouch closer to the cage and coo at them as the man starts yelling for help.
“So.” He said in a calm voice, listing his head slowly when the man had stopped screaming his throat dry. “Since I’m a very nice man today I’m gonna give you two options.”
Fat rolls of tears had started to run down the man’s cheeks, his chest heaving as he begged for mercy.
“Do you want me to sedate these raccoons so they don’t claw your insides or do you wanna..” He remembers a word that floated into his flat one night, “..rawdog it?”
Soap had never seen a cleaner interrogation room before. Not from Ghost, the man’s usually so brutal about it. He remembers seeing parts of a live brain one time because Ghost had bashed their skull so badly and remembered having to shoot the person dead out of pity. But today? The intel was good, the man was still alive with almost all of his body parts; save for some of his teeth and nails and the chopped up finger,
and the raccoons.
They were alive and Ghost seemed to never have opened the cage at all.
When Ghost came home that month he heard his neighbour say something about a ‘little birthday celebration’ for tomorrow. He checked his watch and decided to walk to the bakery and get them some cake. That last operation went smoothly, and he has them to thank.
He can’t wait to hear what other mental things that will come out of their mouth in the future and apply them to his work.
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toomuchracket · 9 months ago
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dancing like she way out (george daniel x reader smut)
shag the dj shag the dj shag the dj, or whatever the smiths said. basically - a night out takes a turn for the better when you hook up with the hot dj. won't lie, there's use of the d word in here. and choking, because we've all seen that man's hands. enjoy <3
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all your friends are wasted, and you hate this club.
no, really - three of them are currently spewing their guts up in the toilets after going too hard on the tequila rose, while the rest flail wildly on the dancefloor in between queuing at the bar to buy yet another round of overpriced jagerbombs. meanwhile, you're doing your best to dodge the extremely persistent man you first swerved about an hour ago, some palm angels-clad twat with shit hair and an inability to take no for an answer, and also doing your best not to spill your vodka cranberry all over yourself in the process.
in short, you're having a shitter of a night.
at least the dj's fit, though. really fit. and, to be fair, he’s spinning some decent stuff. the one saving grace of the night, you'd say.
you watch him from the edge of the dancefloor, empty cup in hand. he's quite focused, more so than some of the wankers you've been dragged to see in this club in the past, only looking up to signal to the bar staff that he needs a refill and to check the vibe of the room. he has pretty eyes, you notice, sharp and dark and clear; eyes that could definitely get you to commit a multitude of sins, quite frankly.
and now? they're looking right at you.
looking isn't a strong enough word, actually. they drag slowly down your body - locking with your own, then travel to your pouty, brown-lined lips, and shamelessly over the curves of your body onto your legs - leaving a trail of thrill-induced goosebumps across your skin in their wake. suddenly, they flick back up to your face, and one closes in a wink. you smirk, and the dj does too.
interesting.
one of your more sober friends nudges you, handing you another vodka. you accept it without breaking eye contact with the dj, wrapping your lips around the straw and smiling with it between your teeth. he raises his eyebrows, still smirking, and you wink; your friend notices, and leans round so you can see her. “are you eye-fucking the dj?”
“maybe,” you reluctantly tear your eyes from him to look at her. “in my defence, he started eye-fucking me first.”
she laughs, tugging you onto the floor and motioning for you to dance. “i think we should keep him looking at you, then.”
“alright,” you down your drink and set down the cup. “let's dance.”
and so, you do, pulling out all the stops. your hair flows behind you as you swing your hips, body twisting and turning and stretching as you lose yourself under the lights and amidst the beat, and you laugh excitedly with your friend as she twirls you. the dancefloor is so empty that you can spin to your heart's content, but that doesn't bother you at all - it means there's less for the object of your efforts to be distracted by, more chance that his attention is on you.
it seems to be completely on you, actually; every time you catch a glimpse of him, his eyes are on you again, and your friend attests to that in your ear as she pulls you in for a hug. “he hasn't stopped looking at you, for even a second. that man wants you, babe.”
you angle your body towards the deck so you can see him. the club lighting is simultaneously sheering out his black shirt and throwing both his stubbled face and tattooed arms into focus - fuck, his arms. 
and he's still looking at you.
“i think you might be right,” you turn back to your friend so she can hear you, deliberately leaning forward and shaking your ass slightly in his direction. “and i want him too.”
she shoves you towards the deck. “go and get him, then.”
with a giggle, you set off, swinging your hips as you all but skip towards the extremely sexy man behind the music. unfortunately for you, some arsey man in too-tight chinos gets to the deck first; folding your arms, you stand behind him, miffed, and wait your turn to speak.
luckily, you only have to do that for a couple of seconds. the guy isn't particularly drunk, but he's annoying. “hey, bro,” he says to the dj, whose handsome face is set in an expression full of what can only be described as ennui. you assume he sees this kind of thing all the time. “can you play some, like, chainsmokers? that would be so sound of you.”
chainsmokers? christ.
clearly, your distaste is showing, because the dj's face slips into a tiny smirk as he looks at you out of the corner of his eye; it disappears, though, before he replies. “‘fraid not, mate…”
his fucking voice. dear god. who is this man, and where has he been all your life?
“...i don't take requests.”
you believe it. everything about the dj screams control, and with every passing second your want to submit to that control is growing. it's not want you have for him any more, but sheer fucking need.
the other guy shrugs and wanders off, and the attention is all on you again. leaning over the mixing board towards you, the dj smirks again. “you, however, can ask me for anything you like.”
fuck. keep it together, bitch.
“anything?” you smile, saccharine, carefully leaning on the side of the deck in such a way that it pushes your boobs up. “even cascada?”
he rolls his eyes. “and here i thought you had taste.”
“whatever made you think that?”
“you picked out that dress to wear tonight, yeah?”
christ. “yeah. you like it?”
he nods, taking a sip of his drink. “it's gorgeous on you. but i think most things would be.”
you blush, revelling in the compliment before shooting your shot. “present company included?”
“jesus,” he shakes his head, and for the briefest of moments you worry that you've lost him. but then he looks up, hunger in those fucking eyes of his, and smirks again. “is that what you want, angel? to go somewhere together and find out?”
the ease with which the pet name falls from his lips is staggering, so much so that you can merely nod. that's not good enough for him, though - “need you to talk to me, beautiful.”
“sorry, sorry,” you compose yourself (with great difficulty). “yes, that's what i want.”
“s'reciprocated,” he smiles, genuinely. “i’m george, by the way.”
you smile in response, and introduce yourself. george says your name, slowly, and you fear that your legs might give way. “pretty,” he replies. “i like how you feel on my tongue.”
the words practically shoot straight into the scrap of fabric you call panties, and your jaw drops. george giggles. “you're cute when you're flustered, angel.”
“shame. i don't tend to make a habit of that.”
“hmmm,”  he clicks his tongue. “i'll need to work on that, then.”
you smile, radiant. “promise?”
“promise,” george smiles. he checks his watch, and you try not to drool at the way his arms flex. or his hands - god, look at his hands! “s'almost closing time. meet me back here in half an hour?”
“looking forward to it,” you blow him a kiss, preening at the way he blushes. “see you in a bit, gorgeous.”
he winks again. you turn and walk back to your friends, who have gathered along the edge of the dancefloor to watch your exchange with the dj. they huddle around you like a rugby scrum when you near them, a cacophony of slurred voices asking what and where and who and when and how; you gesture for them to follow you to the smoking area, where - to much excitement - you relay the details to them in the breaks between nicotine hits, and hug them all goodnight before you have to go back inside, them to the cloakroom and you to the dj.
your wingwoman friend is the last one you bid farewell to - she links arms with you to walk back into the sweaty club, doing the pre-prepared spiel you give each other when you pull. “have fun, but don't be stupid. if it's his place you end up at, then send me your location. i'll phone you in the morning, alright?”
“yeah,” you kiss her cheek. “thanks for all your help.”
“no problem. stay safe, have the best time,” she grins. “and i want details at the pub quiz on tuesday.”
“noted,” you hug her again as you reach the place to part ways. “love you. goodnight.”
“get it, bitch!” she shouts after you; you turn to salute her and giggle, and then she's gone. with a deep breath and a shake of your hair, you dart past the people starting to head towards the cloakroom, butterflies starting to emerge again as you get closer to george.
he smiles when he sees you, eyes raking over your body once again. “you know,” he says, as you reach the deck. “you really are beautiful.”
“i'm already leaving with you, george, you can drop the flattery,” you roll your eyes, then beam at him. “thank you, though.”
“just stating facts,” george turns some sort of dial, and the music fades to silence. as the club staff usher everyone from the room, he sighs happily. “been waiting to do that since you came up to me earlier.”
“really?”
“yeah,” he unplugs his laptop from the deck, sliding it into a backpack. “you're very distracting, you know, looking so good and dancing like that.”
“well, i try,” you hold out a hand. “ready to go?”
george nods, stepping down beside you - you gawk at the the height of him, towering over you. “fuck me, you're tall.”
he laughs, taking your hand in his. again, the size difference is insane, and you find yourself momentarily nervous to get into bed with him; that soon passes in favour of excitement, though. “don't worry, i'll even out the height thing by getting on my knees soon enough.”
the speed with which you tug him toward the exit at that is almost comical. george only giggles and lets you drag him to the door - he stops when you’re out in the cold air, though. “hold on, angel, i need a cig.”
you nod, standing on the step beside the door while he moves down a few to light his cigarette in peace. his hands, so big, are surprisingly nimble as he pulls a fag from the packet and flicks the lighter on; again, it does something to your core, and you lean against the brick wall to keep yourself steady.
after a few (erotic) drags of the cig, george holds it out to you. wordlessly, you accept, holding eye contact as you take a drag and exhale it in his direction. george's eyes flick to your lips, then back to your own - suddenly, he's kissing you, a hand in your hair and one on the small of your back, your arms looped around his neck. it's not a polite kiss, by any means; george kisses like he’s trying to devour you in the best possible way, stealing all the air from your lungs and inhibitions from your brain, tongue and teeth working against your mouth to get you to give in to him.
like you need any convincing.
a trail of spit connects you as he breaks the sloppy kiss, forehead resting against yours as you both breathe deeply. “fuck, angel,” george sighs, kissing you quickly again. “your place or mine?”
“we can be at my flat in five minutes if we walk quickly.”
“shit. lead the way.”
***
your front door hasn't even fully closed behind you before george is pressing you up against it, grabbing handfuls of your ass and lifting you so he can kiss your lips and neck while he grinds into you. every time his hips meet yours, you feel your eyes roll back into your head and the need for him inside you growing. his teeth meet the skin of your collarbone, and you swear you see stars. “george.”
his head shoots up immediately. “no marks?”
“no, leave as many as you want. it's just,” you whimper as he sucks a bruise into your skin. “i really want you to take me to bed. please?”
he groans at that, peeling you off the wall as he turns. “where…?”
“second door on the left.”
no sooner than the words have left your lips, george is kicking your bedroom door open and all but throwing you onto your bed. hands shaking, you do your best to undo your heels and throw them into a corner as george rids himself of backpack and shirt; you mewl at the sight of him, muscles hardened in the moonlight, and sit up on your knees to clumsily undo his belt.
he shakes his head, moving your hands from him. “you first, angel. arms up, come on, let's get that pathetic excuse for a dress off you.”
“i thought you liked this dress?” you frown, even as you oblige and let him peel the dress up your body.
“i do, but - oh, fuck,” george moans as your almost-bare body is revealed to him. “it was doing an awful job of stopping me thinking about you like this.”
his gaze on you is almost predatory, so much so that it makes you sink back onto your knees in submission, legs slightly open and chest forward. “do i live up to your daydreams, sir? no, wait,” you squint, assessing george to see if you can figure him out. “do i live up to your daydreams, daddy?”
you've hit the nail on the head; george’s eyes close as he swears and undoes his belt, kicking his trousers and shoes off before climbing onto the bed, onto you. he pulls you slowly onto his lap, and rocks you back and forth even more slowly. “does this answer your question, baby?” he murmurs, the gravel in his voice liquifying your insides and sending them straight into your underwear. the friction against his hardness is incredible, and all you can do is whine as you look into those obsidian eyes - again, that's not good enough for george, who delivers a sharp smack to your ass. “words, angel. tell daddy what you think.”
“i - ooh,” you whimper, as george changes angle to one that manages to catch your clit with every grind. “i think i live up to them, yes, daddy. think you wanna fuck me, and - shit - i want that too.”
“my smart girl,” he kisses you again, another head-melter that has you moaning into his mouth. “what else do you want, hmmm? want me to go down on you?”
as tempting as having that mouth between your legs sounds… that isn’t what you want right now. “wake me up like that tomorrow, please,” you savour the way george whines into your neck at the thought. “but right now, i just need you to fill me up, daddy.”
“well, i did say you could ask me for anything you liked,” he grins against you, kissing you quickly before softly laying you down. “fuck, look at you, angel, so fucking beautiful. where have they been keeping you from me all this time?” 
your cheeks burn at the way he bites his lip, trailing his hands over your bare chest and all the way down to your panties. “i mean, seriously,” he hums. “i've never wanted to fuck someone more in my life.”
“so do it. please,” you open your legs, showing him the surely-visible wet patch on your silky underwear. “need you inside me, daddy.”
“alright, alright,” george huffs out a laugh, one of disbelief, as he trails a finger up your clothed slit. “jesus, you’re soaked already. can i take these off?”
“please.”
he smiles, dragging the material down your legs and his fingers through your wetness; evilly, he slides the same hand beneath his boxers to palm himself, groaning. when you protest, he laughs. “just making sure we're both ready, baby. speaking of… protection?”
you say nothing, and just reach across to grab your pill packet from the bedside table and wave it at him.
“noted,” he leans forward to kiss you, before moving back onto his knees to slide his boxers off. as the fabric drops, so does your jaw: you knew from the feeling of him under you that you weren't dealing with something compact, here, but george is fucking huge. like, slightly terror-inducing huge. that said, though, you begin to salivate at the sight of him - he notices this, and giggles. “like what you see?”
“yeah,” wide eyed, you look up at his face, your own breaking into an anticipated smile; tentatively, you reach out to touch his cock, both of you gasping in tandem when you wrap your hand (as best you can) around him, manicured thumb flicking over the pre-cum soaked tip. neither of you break eye contact as you pump him a few times, the sexual tension in the room too magnetic to do so, and when you speak it comes out in a whisper. “how do you want me?”
“how don’t i want you?” george smirks, tapping your wrist to make you let go of him. he shuffles forward, big hands meeting your chest and squeezing gently, and beams when you whine. “fucking love that sound. lie back for me, angel, wanna watch these tits while i make you feel good. that alright?”
“mhmm,” you do as asked, fanning your hair across the pillow and spreading your legs - george can't seem to decide where to look, eyes darting between your face and chest and glistening cunt, and it makes you feel incredible. “like this, daddy?”
he nods. “perfect,” his lips find yours again  as he settles above you, resting his weight on one hand while the other slides between your thighs again. two long fingers tentatively dip into your cunt, and george groans while you gasp at the fullness. christ, if this is how you react to his fingers, then what on earth will it be like when he's actually fucking you? “jesus, baby, you're so fucking tight,” he hisses, eyes heavy as he looks down into yours. “want me to get you off with my hand first, before you take my cock? i mean, you're wet enough that you should be alright, but… i want you to feel good. comfortable. s'all about you, angel.”
shit. you have a sneaking suspicion that this man might genuinely be the death of you. but at least you'll die happy, yeah?
smiling, slightly dazed, you shake your head. “just want you to fuck me, daddy. need it, needed your cock all night.”
“you're sure?” george caresses your cheek.
“i'm sure,” you nod, humming happily as you watch him pump himself and drag his length through your wetness. “put it in, please.”
“sweet girl,” he kisses you, deep and slow, and pushes into you, the same. “oh my god.”
you're speechless, breathless, completely fucking brainless - all you can think about is the utterly delicious way george is stretching you out. nobody you've ever fucked before has really made you relate to the metaphor “rearranging your guts”, but with him it's crystal clear; he's so gentle and you're so turned on that it isn't painful, but he's definitely ruined any other man for you already and he's - you look down to check - not even fully inside you yet.
you giggle, slightly delirious, at that realisation. george smiles at you, groaning as he bottoms out and stills inside you. “feeling good?”
“so fucking good,” you lean up to kiss him, whining against his lips at the slight change in angle. fuck, he’s deep. “fuck me, please.”
he smirks. “magic word?”
“fuck me, please,” you kiss him again, sinking your teeth into his bottom lip then pulling back and whispering. “daddy.”
“good girl,” george pulls your legs around his waist, slowly sliding out of you and back in; you both moan in harmony as he does. “jesus, you feel incredible.”
you preen, beaming up at him - the smile is knocked from your face as he speeds up, though, in favour of your jaw dropping in pleasure. “yeah, that's it. fucking me so good, don't stop, please.”
“not stopping until i get you off, angel, don't worry,” he shifts slightly again, his next thrust hitting a spot inside you that you didn't think existed; when he does, you whimper, the contact sending another gush to your core and shockwaves throughout your body. “oh, you liked that, didn't you, sweet girl? shall i do it again? yeah, i think i will.”
he does, ripping a cry from your throat in the process. your legs quiver around his waist, the repeated hits to the area sparking them into movement, and you clutch desperately at his forearm beside your head. “daddy…”
“what is it, angel?” george leans down to kiss you, still fucking you relentlessly. “tell me what you want.”
your brain is growing hazier by the second, dopamine and serotonin and god knows what else overpowering all your motor functions, but you still manage to oblige. “want - fuck - want you to choke me.”
“fuck,” george’s eyes roll back slightly. “you're sure?”
you nod, stomach contracting in ecstasy. “need it, need you.”
“you're so fucking cute,” he grins, incongruous with the way his big hand wraps around your neck and presses, just enough for you to sigh happily and clench around him. “think you really might be an angel, by the way,” he pants out, never letting the rhythm of his hips drop. “you feel like heaven. look like it, too. and trust me, later on,” he kisses your neck, dragging his tongue up so he can whisper in your ear. “i am going to get on my knees and worship you for hours.”
okay, it's settled - he's perfect. you can never fuck anyone else ever again. “please.”
“‘please’ what, sweet girl? please do that?” he coos, sucking another mark just under your jaw. “or please make you cum?”
“cum,” you choke out from under his hand, legs practically thrashing from how good you feel. “please, daddy.”
“gonna be a good girl and help me, then?” george looks you straight in the eye, his almost completely shut in pleasure. “touch yourself for me. show me what you're gonna do every time you think about this, about me.”
christ alive. you obey (you're not sure that you'd be unable to resist that voice even if you wanted to), grabbing one of your tits in one hand and sliding the other between your bodies to your clit. as soon as you touch the bundle of nerves, the shockwaves pulsing through your body increase tenfold; if not for george above you, grounding you, you reckon you'd have shot off the mattress by now. through a quivering jaw, you talk to him. “m'so close, so fucking close.”
“me too, angel,” george’s eyelids flutter as he talks. “don't fight it - cum for me, my good girl, cum on my fucking cock.”
your body does as it’s told, a final surge of pleasure flowing through your body so strongly that you actually black out for a second; your fuse is relit by george groaning, gravel and guttural, in your ear, imminent climax signalled by his hips falling out of rhythm for the first time so far and his hand slackening on your neck. “oh, fuck, i'm there. can i… inside?”
“yeah,” you breathe out. “fill me up, daddy.”
“shit!”
with a moan of your name, george buries himself to the hilt inside you one final time, thrusting shallow and kissing you fiercely as he paints your insides white. once he’s done, he carefully lies down on top of you and rests his head in the crook of your neck, still inside you as you both catch your breath. despite finishing last, he’s the first to speak, moving to hover over you and kiss you again. “i'm so glad you decided to go out tonight.”
“me too,” you giggle. “same again next week?”
“absolutely. i'll be the one waiting by the speakers.”
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parmahamlarrie · 5 months ago
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Happy June! Happy pride! I read like crazy this month, so please enjoy one of the longest lists we’ve had in a while! x
sunshine, baby! || @harruandlou || 106.5k Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Friends with Benefits, College AU, Florida, Swimmer Harry, Law Student Louis, Olympics Started this to get excited for the upcoming Olympics, fell utterly in love with the masterful fic here! Truly incredible, you have to go read it right now.
The Cottage || @holdingontochaos || 70.6k Omegaverse, Strangers to Lovers, Small Towns, Artist Louis, Farmer Harry, Sick Louis, Touch Deprivation, Neighbours, Soulmate AU This one is one that will really stick with me for a while! As someone who deals with chronic illness, this really allowed a light into understanding it without any of the further stress, since this world is made up. Loved it!
where we landed || @blueskiesrry || 70.4k Exes to Lovers, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Hometowns, Teacher Louis, Kidfic, Cancer, Past Mpreg I quite literally started reading this at 11pm (rookie mistake) and didn't manage to sleep until 3am. I truly could not put it down, it's a truly compelling read!
you were in my dream || @harruandlou || 59.3k Baker Harry, Builder Louis, Fluff, Best Friend's Boyfriend's Best Friend I don't think I have enough words for how much I loved this one. Easily one of the best, nothing I would change about it. More proof that fanfic is in and of itself an act of love and the fact that we get works like this? For free? It makes me cry. I love their love and I'd love in their world forever.
Sugar, Sugar || @parmahamlarrie || 25k Sugar Baby Harry, Sugar Daddy Louis, Soulmate AU, Age Difference
Peeping || @jacaranda-bloom || 16.5k Strangers to Lovers, Housemates, New Years Eve, Oblivious Idiots, Wanker's Day Dee has a way of writing exactly what I need when I need it! She has been so missed, so give this a read and send some love! x
The Checkout || @silverstuff50 || 12.2k Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Awkward Flirting, Fluff
you're the one that I'm dreamin' of (you're the one that I love) || @suckerforhome || 11.7k Omegaverse, Non-Traditional Dynamics, Famous/Non Famous, Musician Harry, Make Up Artist Louis, Exes to Lovers (ish)
Where Do We Go Now || @jaerie || 10.6k Omegaverse, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, College Au, Roommates to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Human World I had never considered Alphas having sex with humans and this has really made me think about it! Very well done, of course, and a great little story.
Half a World Away || @silverstuff50 || 9.8k Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Enemies/Friends to Lovers, Heat, Hiking
Undo This Privacy || little_obelia || 9.5k Girl Direction, Established Relationship, Watersports, Fluff
vitamin || cabinbythesea || 6.5k Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Fluff and Smut
Take My Hand, Dumbass || @londonfoginacup || 5.9k Omegaverse, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Roommates AU, College AU, Enemies to Lovers This became a new favourite of mine from @londonfoginacup! The humour was great, tension fantastic, and the ending was just fun!
Body Stay Vicious || @letthemusicmoveyou28 || 5.3k Strangers to Lovers, Meet-Cute, Gym AU, Light D/S, Wanker's Day
In an octopus's garden with you || louisismycat || 4.6k Omegaverse, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Established Relationship, Autistic Harry, Fluff & Comfort This was one of the best reads I've read in ages. A great reminder that love exists.
Louis and the no good, very bad day || @haztobegood || 4.5k Soulmate AU, Crack, Oblivious Idiots, Wanker's Day This was SO good! I love being able to read soulmate sillies!
U-Pop Truck Stop || @kingsofeverything || 4.1k American AU, Truckers, Shower Sex, Poppers
Wordplay 2023: there his charming nest doth lay || @bottomhaztoplou || 3.8k Omegaverse, Established Relationship, Nesting, Domestic Fluff
Come On and Rescue Me || @kingsofeverything || 3.3k Neighbours, Older Louis, Age Difference, Instagram, Wanker's Day
Slippery When Wet || @uhoh-but-yeah-alright || 3.4k Girl Direction, Zourry Roommates, Wanker's Day This one is so iconic, I'm obsessed.
(on the edge until) you pull me in || @zjofierose || 3.1k Famous/Non Famous, Age Difference, Single Dad Louis, Wanker's Day
I'll Still Feel the Same Around You || @crinkle-eyed-boo || 2.4k Married H&L, Older H&L, Insomnia, Wanker's Day
Irrumabo || @londonfoginacup || 2.2k Plane Ride, Sex Pollen, Established Relationship, Wanker's Day
You've Got A Friend In Me || @red-pandaaa || 2.1k Established Relationship, Phone Sex, D/S, Wanker's Day
I taste your sugar, you swallow my salt || @bottomhaztoplou || 1.4k Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Intersex Omegas, Heat/Rut, Historical, Wanker's Day
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