#wan's madness

[duchessripper]

“why do you still use tumblr?”

listen— i have to keep track of my hyper fixations somehow

[jedi-starbird]

Palpatine: My boy, I'm afraid to report that Master Kenobi is very likely sleeping with your wife.

Anakin, who knows for a fact that Obi-Wan is sleeping with his Commander, a good chunk of Ghost company, the Organas and Quinlan Vos: ...where is he finding the fucking time???

Palpatine, oblivious: Oh I've heard from some very reliable sources that-

Anakin: *pulls out a spexcel spreadsheet, the 3rd System Army's shared spoogle calender and a calculator*

Anakin: Your Excellency. That's just. not logistically possible.

[captain-mozzarella]

I headcanon that all of Yoda's finest teacups were made by younglings

In fact most masters of the order's finest teacups were made during crèche crafting time when the kids were learning pottery.

[hughdancybabyface]

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”

—Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

[clonemmunism]

Least homoerotic jedi-general and clone-commander duo

[aj-artjunkyard]

I think even funnier than Anakin being a Big War Hero is if he was like. The Temple’s resident tech guy. Cal or Kanan find out who Darth Vader is and they’re like ‘the guy who reset my password???’

[megamindsupremacy]

So like, y'all know that popular Star Wars fic trope of Time Traveling Obi-Wan Kenobi where he dies and then wakes up in his 11ish year old body back in the Jedi Temple? You know how usually he wakes up, has a few minutes/hours of confusion, and then goes about trying to act like he was at age 11 while slowly fixing everything wrong with the Jedi Order? Personally I think he would not do that.

I think that Ben "Lived As A Wizard Hermit For Two Decades On Tattooine, Left, And Then Died Immediately" Kenobi would wake up as an eleven-year-old, have a panic attack, attack the nearest adult Jedi while accusing them of Doing Weird Sith Shit To His Brain, fucking flee, only then realize he has time traveled, steal someone's ship, go flying out of the temple to god knows where, continue panicking, crash into a random moon while distracted, nearly die, build a survival camp out of his broken ass ship and eat whatever bugs he can find, get kidnapped by pirates, overthrow said pirates, steal their ship, and then very calmly return to the Jedi temple like nothing happened.

Then and only then do I think he would start trying to act like a normal human person (while also dodging questions such as "what the fuck was that" and "where were you" and "is that a pirate's ship?"), except he'd be bad at it due to having lived as an Insane Wizard Desert Hermit for the past twenty years who has experienced enough trauma and time that he doesn't super well remember the details of his childhood, what with all of the wars and death and wars and such.

His acting convinces nobody, but nobody is sure what exactly to do about All Of That so he's for the most part left alone (after very vehemently refusing sptherapy), all the way up until he catches a glimpse of palpatine out of the corner of his eye and then its On Sight

[rocktheholygrail]

Hannibal (2013-2015)

2x12 - “Tome-wan”

Hannigram + romantic fireside confessions

[grumfield]

When I am gone Please forgive the wrong that I might have done to you What pain there might have been Will now be passed And my spirit will be home

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

The key to surviving being stabbed with a lightsaber is to be too pissed off to die.

That's why Qui-Gon Jinn croaked. Dude was too damn chill.

[magnusbae]

Obsessed with how Obi-Wan calls Anakin right after having a conference call with the other Jedi Masters because the moment Anakin said he'll do as 'instructed' Obi-Wan knew with absolute confidence that the little shit will most certainly not do as instructed

[intermundia]

Top 5 Mustafar Quotes That Make Me Insane

1.After choking Padmé, fully high on the dark side, Anakin still offers Obi-Wan a chance to walk away. [+at the beginning of the book it's explicitly stated that Obi-Wan "frankly prefers to sit alone in a quiet cave and meditate" so... yes, anakin, it IS what he likes]

2.The iconic "identical, better than brothers, more intimately than lovers, complementary halves" quote, which is followed by Obi-Wan's inability to actually attack the man he came to the planet to kill.

3.Obi-Wan sensing death and deciding they should go there together

4. The repeated emphasis on how close they were and why this hurts so much more. It's personal.

5.The fact that "despite it all... Obi-Wan still loved him."

there's really no words for the cumulative impact of the 11 or so pages of the mustafar fight in the novel. it appears after about 400 pages setting the stage, and only 12 pages follow it before the end of the book. the fight stretches out on film as one of the longest of all time, but in the novel it's a harsh punctuation mark that pierces the paper and bleeds ink through the page. it stabs you, twists the knife, and fades away. i will never really get over it, i think.

[dailysigma]

Today's Sigma is: all packed up for a trip 🧳!

[lightasthesun]

Satine: I'm still not sure...about the beard.

Obi-Wan: Why? What's wrong with it?

Satine: It hides too much of your handsome face.

then there's Cody's reaction after the deception arc:

Cody: You grow that back right now or we will have a problem.

[hughdancybabyface]

—They're undressing each other with their eyes.

[gingermintpepper]

In my Zeus bag today so I'm just gonna put it out there that exactly none of the great Ancient Greek warrior-heroes stayed loyal and faithful and completely monogamous and yet none of them have their greatness questioned nor do we question why they had the cultural prominence that they did and still do.

Jason, the brilliant leader of the Argo, got cold feet when it came to Medea - already put off by some of her magic and then exiled from his birthland because of her political ploys, he took Creusa to bed and fully intended on marrying her despite not properly dissolving things with Medea.

Theseus was a fierce warrior and an incredibly talented king but he had a horrible temper and was almost fatally weak to women. This is the man who got imprisoned in the Underworld for trying to get a friend laid, the man who started the whole Attic War because he couldn't keep his legs closed.

And we cannot at all forget Heracles for whom a not inconsiderable amount of his joy in life was loving people then losing the people around him that he loved. Wives, children, serving boys, mentors, Heracles had a list of lovers - male and female - long enough to rival some gods and even after completing his labours and coming down to the end of his life, he did not have one wife but three.

And y'know what, just because he's a cultural darling, I'll put Achilles up here too because that man was a Theseus type where he was fantastic at the thing he was born to do (that is, fight whereas Theseus' was to rule) but that was not enough to eclipse his horrid temper and his weakness to young pretty things. This is the man that killed two of Apollo's sons because they wouldn't let him hit - Tenes because he refused to let Achilles have his sister and Troilus who refused Achilles so vehemently that he ran into Apollo's temple to avoid him and still couldn't escape.

All four of these men are still celebrated as great heroes and men. All four of these men are given the dignity of nuance, of having their flaws treated as just that, flaws which enrich their character and can be used to discuss the wider cultural point of what truly makes a hero heroic. All four of these men still have their legacies respected.

Why can that same mindset not be applied to Zeus? Zeus, who was a warrior-king raised in seclusion apart from his family. Zeus who must have learned to embrace the violence of thunder for every time he cried as a babe, the Corybantes would bang their shields to hide the sound. Zeus learned to be great because being good would not see the universe's affairs in its order.

The wonderful thing about sympathy is that we never run out of it. There's no rule stopping us from being sympathetic to multiple plights at once, there's no law that necessitate things always exist on the good-evil binary. Yes, Zeus sentenced Prometheus to sufferation in Tartarus for what (to us) seems like a cruel reason. Prometheus only wanted to help humans! But when you think about Prometheus' actions from a king's perspective, the narrative is completely different: Prometheus stole divine knowledge and gifted it to humans after Zeus explicitly told him not to. And this was after Prometheus cheated all the gods out of a huge portion of wealth by having humans keep the best part of a sacrifice's meat while the gods must delight themselves with bones, fat and skin. Yes, Zeus gave Persephone away to Hades without consulting Demeter but what king consults a woman who is not his wife about the arrangement of his daughter's marriage to another king? Yes, Zeus breaks the marriage vows he set with Hera despite his love of her but what is the Master of Fate if not its staunchest slave?

The nuance is there. Even in his most bizarre actions, the nuance and logic and reason is there. The Ancient Greeks weren't a daft people, they worshipped Zeus as their primary god for a reason and they did not associate him with half the vices modern audiences take issue with. Zeus was a father, a visitor, a protector, a fair judge of character, a guide for the lost, the arbiter of revenge for those that had been wronged, a pillar of strength for those who needed it and a shield to protect those who made their home among the biting snakes. His children were reflections of him, extensions of his will who acted both as his mercy and as his retribution, his brothers and sisters deferred to him because he was wise as well as powerful. Zeus didn't become king by accident and it is a damn shame he does not get more respect.