#walnuts kinda suck

[olteacup-writes]

gn!MC x Renee (Step 1)

sum: mc who favorites ren and looks up to her <3

note; since this is set in step 1 renee will be refereed to with he/him and the name Darren !!

im not the best at writing and don't really know how to write that well so please forgive me for any mistakes or the bad grammar :3

The first time Darren saw you was when he went to his mom’s class, you just had this look in your eyes. Basically mesmerizing by him, he could practically see the stars in your eyes, he didn’t know how to feel.

It was… strange? Qiu would be talking to you but you’d just be looking at him, why him? He didn’t understand what you saw in him, he just shrugged it off and thought it was because he was older, kids tend to look up to older kids. It didn’t make sense when he grabbed Baxter, Baxter was older than him and you were still focusing on him!

You said bye to him first, before Qiu and Baxter? He found it weird, he even asked Qiu about it! Of course Qiu didn’t have anything to say, “they probably just think you’re cool, Darren.” Maybe he was right.

He wasn’t sure, he wasn’t sure when he caught the walnut in his mouth, he wasn’t sure if you’d thrown in on purpose. Did you mean for it to get to him? When you looked down and waved at him, he wasn’t sure what to feel, he looked away. But he was kinda glad, he liked how it came from you. It made him feel kind of special in a way, he knows it wasn’t on purpose, there’s no way you intentionally made him get the walnut.

Still next time you guys hanged out he smiled a bit, he was excited to ride his bike. He was excited to race, and he might’ve been a bit excited to see you.. he liked your helmet! And once again you greeted him first, once you all got to the park you even raced with him and Qiu! Your reason was… something, “if Darren’s racing, I’ll race too.”

How were you not embarrassed? Apparently you were good at riding bikes.. and fast, it was basically a race between you and Qiu, that was until you fell from your bike. You stopped talking to Qiu and started to look around, you were looking for something.. or someone. You were looking for him, he knew it, you caught his eye before you fell.

Of course you got injured when you fell, it was a scratch on your hand, it was bleeding. He winced at the impact, but he still crouched down and asked if you were okay. He was concerned… it was a bad injury! And you just looked so.. scared? Well that probably wasn’t the right word.

You were smiling, the moment he asked if you were okay there was a stupid grin on your face. It replaced the tears that gathered in your eyes, Qiu offered his bandanna since neither of them had bandaids. You refused at first, you insisted you could do it yourself and that you didn’t need help, but Darren could see you struggling.

He took it upon himself to help you, Qiu almost told him not to but you quickly let him help. Of course you did, he was your favorite after all, right? Darren had to admit he kinda liked having you around, usually people looked up to Qiu, him included. But with you around he got to feel like that, he understood why Qiu had his big ego now.

shhh this sucks but i wanted to give it a try anyways :3

please note that im not good at writing and i just wanted to do this as a silly little thing! im not shakespeare and there's going to be A LOT of mistakes in my writing. i kinda rushed this since i just made it while at the doctors office lol

[bloomblanche]

＊✿ It's Melly!! ✿＊

I just realized that I haven't talked about her much on my blog. Time to fix that.

(Text cut for aesthetic purposes)

Bear in mind that she kinda evolved from "splatsona" to "OC who shares a lot of things with me (but not everything!) and still represents me sometimes but is mostly her own character now"

❥ Mélusine (full name Mélusine Larchipel) is 20 years old and goes by she/her. Her height is 166 cm, aka 5'5. She's autistic and pansexual.

❥ She's all academics, no street smarts. She's rather shy, overly polite, and has trouble voicing her opinions (as well as socializing in general). Her enthusiasm and eccentricities regularly slip through the cracks of her demure appearance.

❥ Melly moved to Inkadia around 10 years ago (making her multilingual as a result), but she still hasn't gotten used to everything because she would mostly spend her time inside without interacting much with other people. She's only recently started to open up, and she uses ink sports and tableturf as a way to do so.

❥ Her mom is a surface Octoling, but her dad is a Cirraling (which is my fan species of cirrate octopuses). That makes her half-grimpoteuthis! The reason why it matters is that the top design isn't her true appearance. The bottom one is what she looks like all-natural.

(Older drawings for comparison)

❥ Due to the biological differences of cirrate octopuses, her chromatophores and her ink sac are a bit underdeveloped. It takes roughly 15 minutes of light exposure for her chromatophores to be able to change colour and roughly 30 minutes in darkness for her to revert back to her natural colour.

❥ She's a bit insecure about her differences, so that's why she disguises herself as a regular Octoling. In fact, her hairstyle is meant to make her ears look smaller since she would get teased for them as a kid.

❥ This character is pretty much a metaphor for masking, when you think about it

❥ Now! Being part-dumbo has its perks, such as better night vision, but it also has its downsides. Remember when I said that her ink sac was underdeveloped? Because of that, she has to focus almost all of her gear abilities into ink saving.

❥ And that combined with her being unable to play anything other than brushes means that Melly REALLY sucks at Salmon Run. She sucks so much that her teammates kept complaining, and she ended up getting kicked out of Grizz Co. She doesn't mind it too much, though, because she's happy earning money with turf war and sewing. Not to mention that the whole business looks really shady anyway.

❥ Going back to brush weapons! Melly has a weird obsession with them. She owns all of the available ones on the market and will only listen to Sheldon's rambles if they're about brush weapons (if they aren't, she will immediately zone out)

❥ She's named Mélusine after the fairy from the eponymous myth. Mélusine is a spirit of fresh water who was cursed to become a serpent from the waist down every Saturday. So! Not only does it have a water theme, but it reflects her appearance-changing deal. She likes her full name, and her family uses it on a regular basis. The reason why she mostly goes by "Melly" is because it's easier for her friends to pronounce.

❥ Her favourite band is Chirpy Chips, and her favourite song from them is Shellfie. She's also a big fan of Raian (guess where that came from) and has a celebrity crush on them.

❥ Her favourite show and videogame are called "Magical Mumi Uni-chan" and "Coral Village 2" respectively.

❥ She loves blueberry pies and hates walnuts for their dry aftertaste (macadamia nuts are more up her alley)

❥ She developed emetophobia as a kid after a severe bout of salmonella.

❥ She really likes flowers as well as lolita fashion and does sewing as a hobby.

❥ While not visible in this drawing, she has some webbing between her fingers (which are tainted purple)

❥ Her shoes are punk whites with ruffle socks.

❥ And last but not least: Melly is based on this specific octopus! She's also very interested in the deep sea and likes to search for books about it.

Thank you for your interest!!

Here are some silly gifs

[writhe]

any advice on stripping a banjo. i want to use darker look but it has a polyurethane finish. the forums are over my head and dont give an easy “sand it then lacquer it” and im not sure thats right. advice?

a year or so ago i wanted to strip the clear finish off my deering because i wanted to dye it with iron & walnut or acorn BUT everything i read was basically like “if you do this you’re risking having to get a new banjo” because the finish also stabilizes the wood (think about how water / moisture can bow wood) & i mean, like, there’s a very very good chance you’ll change the tone of your instrument & it’s also likely you won’t sand it ~ expertly ~ (this is not a judgement!) so you’ll minutely change the thickness of the wood

HOWEVER years ago i didn’t care about anything and had a banjo i got pretty cheap. i stripped it with mineral spirits and sandpaper (by hand- when i tried using a sanding belt it was too aggressive but i wasn’t adept at shop tools at the time) & then stained it, not sure if i ended up lacquering it or not. it did sound different (distinctly less of a clear tone but i was into it) - i wasn’t concerned & it was a fun project

probably what you’ve read is right! be careful, though, and go into it knowing that you may kinda fuck up your banjo, in ways that could be terrible and suck or ways you might enjoy

another thought: i have never painted an instrument but maybe you could look into that- i’d guess it would probably change the tone as well but probably FAR less drastically? maybe something to consider (i’m sure there are nicer paints people could recommend for this sort of thing)

sorry! i guess i don’t really have any advice outside of being able to share: i’ve done this before and enjoyed the project and the results but i’m choosing to not do this with my current banjo for a reason!

(OHHH and if you go ahead with this wear breathing protection while sanding & work somewhere well-ventilated. i’m sure you knew that but in case you didn’t…!)

[frogbestfriend]

When i graduated college, my body gave up and now i am plagued with mind-cracking insomnia and weird allergies (i have never had allergies when i was younger) but it wasnt super severe or anything but after i got super mild, cant-feel-anything-aside-from-common-cold kinda covid back in 2022, i ceased to taste and smell anything when my sinuses start acting up and for the most part it SUCKS ass but rn im snacking on weird tasting walnuts and cashews (nuts i dont normally eat) and its quite awesome actually

[gorematchala]

Okay i've seen the spoiler Pokémon and I'm gonna gibe some quick thoughts but spoilers spoilers

So Archaludon is still numero uno best new Pokémon from this batch, easily, I like Gouging Fire. I feel like it will grow on me more over time like Raging Bolt did but its really cool, its surprisingly normal. I just dont get the iron Pokémon because it feels like they had absolutely no idea what to do with most of them. Like Valiant is kinda the only interesting one. Jugulus is the only one that I think sucks but like... the sword trio is crazy uninteresting. They feel like an artist shrugging

My only issue with these guys is with Terrapagos. Because the box art version being its Terastal form is cool and all, but all that means is that if its ever transferrable to future games it wont be able to do that. Like none of the mega or Gmax capable polemon had designs that fully relied on them using that gimmick. Urshifu is still baller as fuck when he isnt giant bear buddah statue mode. SV continues to make me wary of future games. But so far I already like this DLC better than teal mask. The music is much better for one thing

Im excited to meet that poison ghost guy, he looks like a little japanese ghost in a walnut, he's gotta be based on some specific story. I like him a lot tho. And obviously Hydrapple is amazing, nothing much to say look at it

[liahswriting]

Love to Hate You

Relationship(s): Bucky Barnes x Original Female Character (platonic)

Words: 2,480

Warnings: None, but I think it kinda sucks

Summary: She and Bucky can't stand each other. But it's all in good fun.

She was skeptical of the box of treats sitting at her doorway. The basket of baked goods and sweets all neatly tied up with a pretty bow on top had her side eyeing the hallway to catch the culprit who left them there. It had to have been another trick by Bucky. What she couldn't figure out was what the trick is. She liked goodies. Especially free ones. But for them to randomly show up at her door for her to discover in the morning? Nah, something was up.

Carefully, she plucked the card that had been folded into the bow and read it. "Sorry for pushing you too hard -Steve" it had read. This had her scratching her head in confusion. Steve had been a pain in the ass lately. He was always barking orders and yelling at everyone. And she had been his latest target. He gave her a run for her money: had her training absurd hours, forced into filing bullshit paperwork, and even sent her solo on a dangerous mission that should've been assigned to a duo at the very least. When she ran into a deadly roadblock, she asked for permission to abandon the mission. Steve told her to finish it or else. So she did her best and ended up in the hospital afterwards.

That seemed to be the snap back to reality that Steve needed. He began apologizing profusely. Maybe this goodie basket was another attempt at an apology from him. Plus, the muffins did look good. She picked up the basket and brought it inside her room. They tempted her. She grabbed a random one and took a big bite. Walnuts were the first thing she tasted. Then a bit of cinnamon crumble. They were delicious.

And then, like a car crash, she was hit with nothing but the feeling of pain. A bonfire started on her tongue and her lips almost instantly went numb. She dropped the muffin and ran towards her bathroom, shoving water down her throat in hopes of quenching the burn that ate away at her flesh. Tears began to blur her eyesight and the blurred face she saw in the mirror was red as a tomato.

"Oh my god!" she cried out, scraping her tongue with toilet paper. "What the fuck! Oh my god!"

Snot dripped down her chin as she desperately clung to the bathroom counter. If it wasn't there for her to grab, she would've fallen to the ground. She might still buckle if she was honest. She threw more water on her face and into her mouth. It did absolutely nothing to help. She needed milk. Or cream. Or butter. Honestly, anything that had lactose.

She made a mad dash for the kitchen, pushing anyone who got in her way. Poor Nat had been shoved into the wall.

"What bit you in the ass?" Nat question, running after her.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" was all she could respond with, her tongue sticking out in the air as she ran. She hoped the air would cool her mouth down. It didn't.

She pushed Bucky as he stood from his seat and belly flopped into the fridge. She scrambled to pull it open, knocking over drinks and tupperware as she searched for the milk. Once in her hands, she ripped the cap off and downed the milk like it was a shot. She felt the milk soak the front of her shirt, although she couldn't give two shits about it.

"Save some milk for the rest of us." Nat laughed oddly at her.

"Shut up!!" she sputtered back, milk flying everywhere. "Oh my fucking god!"

"What's wrong?"

"Hot!"

"What is?"

"Food!"

"What food?"

"AHHHHHHH!" she yelled out.

She had drank probably half the gallon at this point, and the pain hadn't subsided one bit. If anything, it had made it's way down her esophagus and into her stomach. She felt like she could throw up, but if she did she was sure she'd throw up blood.

"I'm dying! I'm fucking dying!" she claimed.

"You're not dying." Nat rolled her eyes.

"I need ice cream!"

"Why?! What is happening?!" Nat begged for answers. If she could give an answer, she would. But all she felt was pain. All she could respond with was pain. Meanwhile, Bucky was snickering on the other side of the kitchen. Bastard. Leave it to Bucky to be of no help whatsoever.

"Get Steve!" she demanded. She needed to knock his head in. Was he fucking trying to poison her?

"Captain Rogers has been informed of your request." came JARVIS's automated voice. "He is heading towards you now."

She sat on the floor, the pain draining the strength from her legs. She took the milk with her, trying to force as much of it down her throat as she could. Her stomach felt like it was melting from the inside out. She began asking herself if it was possible to die from pain alone. She felt like she was dying. A hole had to have burned through her stomach. It had to. Stomach acid was leaking into her abdomen. That had to have been why the pain wasn't going down.

Steve showed up then. If she had the strength to, she would've smacked him. But she didn't. She just stayed on the ground, chugging the milk.

"What's wrong with you?" Steve quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Are you trying to poison me?!" she screamed in between milk chugs.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Muffins! Hot! Dying!"

"What muffins?"

"Outside my door! Apology from you! Oh my god why does it still hurt?!?"

"I didn't put any muffins outside your door!"

"What?!"

This information was a surprise to her. The card...... it was signed by him. Who else would've........

"Bucky!" she garbled out, milk sputtering everywhere.

The bastard only proceeded to laugh harder, pointing at her in distress on the floor.

"Buck." Steve sighed. "What did you do?"

"I just made her some muffins."

"What did you put in the muffins?" the blond rolled his eyes.

"Just some love." he shrugged innocently. "And a few pieces of carolina reaper peppers."

"Carolina reaper?!" Nat exclaimed. "Are you crazy?! People have been hospitalized from eating that!"

"But nobody has died have they?" he smugly retorted.

"I need ice cream!"

"We don't have any." said Nat sympathetically.

"I'm dying! It hurts!"

"It'll hurt a lot more in like an hour." she then said.

"I'll go get the Pepto Bismol." Steve huffed. He turned to his super soldier friend as he walked away. "Go out and buy her some ice cream."

"Alright alright." he rolled his eyes.

Nat was right about the pain an hour later. As she curled up in the fetal position on her bedroom floor, a half empty bottle of Pepto Bismol on one side of her, a melted tub of ice cream on the other side, she almost wished that she could time travel back an hour ago. The initial pain she felt was just a burning sensation. Now, her entire stomach and both intestines were gurgling and felt all twisted up inside of her. Her abdomen hadn't stopped cramping, and her toilet was in misery. Poor toilet bowl. And poor her butthole. The pepper hurt coming out more than it did going in.

She was going to get back at Bucky if it was the last thing she ever did. She might murder him.

Bucky expected her to get her revenge. It was how their dynamic worked; he'd prank her, she'd prank him back, then they'll go a few weeks without any incidences, only to start back up again when they started noticing the other getting a little too comfortable.

Every time he turned a corner, he was cautious. Any food that was to go past his lips he tested first. If he entered a room she had recently been in, he made sure there were no booby traps waiting for him. Days of this went by and he hadn't once let his guard down. She was going to strike. He knew it. He could feel it in his aching bones.

"Hey, Buck!" Steve called out to him from the hallway.

"Hm?" he hummed back.

"Your clothes are done drying." his friend said and brought him his laundry basket.

"Thanks for touching my underwear, punk." he chuckled.

"I didn't. I used tongs." joked Steve.

"Fucking idiot." Bucky huffed amusingly.

He took his laundry from his friend and headed to his room to put them away. Bucky didn't like folding his clothes. The task was too time consuming and it didn't make sense to fold them when you were just going to pull them out anyway. His tried and true method was to take all of the same clothing articles and just shove them in the drawer. His arms were piled high with all of his shirts, which he put away. Then he stacked all of his pants in his arms and put those away. He did fold his socks though. He never wore mix-matched socks. He then put all of his socks and underwear away.

He then decided to go for a run now that all of his jogging clothes were clean. And this is why he hates going through the hassle of folding. He just pulled out the clothes anyway. Whatever. He tied his laces, grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen, and headed out the door. He took his usual route through the outskirts of the city as he listened to his playlist through his headphones. It was nice outside, but that didn't mean he was in the mood to be bombarded by angry New Yorkers on their lunch break, or get hit by shitty taxi drivers.

There was a running trail on the outskirts that he sometimes went on. He decided to run the trail today. The fresh air was good for his lungs. Although it must be close to pollen season because his skin began to itch. He scratched at his thigh as he ran. It helped at first, but then the itch came back stronger. He stopped running and used his blunt nails to scratch at his skin until red marks raised against the flesh. And then his stomach began to itch. As he scratched that, the itch seemed to travel all around his body and he nearly fell to the ground in an itching fit.

His nails were scraping every square inch of skin they could to alleviate the sensation. His legs, his arm, his chest, his back, his neck. Everything itched. And by everything he meant....... oh no.

His knees buckled as he felt his cock and balls twist with itches. Instinctively, his thighs crossed over one another to try and scratch it, but it did absolutely nothing. If he wasn't in public, he'd shove his fist down his shorts and scratch to the high heavens. He needed to get out of here. Now. Something wasn't right.

Walking was a chore, let alone running. People he passed probably thought he was possessed as he rushed past them spastically. He looked like he had ants in his pants. Fuck if he knows if there actually were. His skin crawled. Was this some sort of allergic reaction?

Once at the tower, he ran into Steve and Nat who gave him odd looks.

"You doing okay, Buck?" Steve cocked an eyebrow at him.

"No! I think I have an allergic reaction to something." he replied back, trying once again to discretely scratch at his crotch. His metal arm simultaneously scratching up and down his flesh one.

"What's wrong?" questioned Nat.

"Something's makin me itch."

"You sure you didn't run through some poison ivy or something while running?" asked Steve.

"I didn't touch anything!"

And then Bucky spotted her sauntering into the room. She stopped in her tracks at seeing Bucky do what looked like the potty dance to her. And then she began to snicker loudly.

"Looks like you're having a bad day." she snorted at him.

"I don't know what's happening."

"Seems like something's...... itching you." she said cryptically. Bucky immediately became suspicious of her.

"What did you do?!" he demanded. If he wasn't so busy scratching himself, he would've taken her by the collar of her shirt.

"I just helped you with your laundry. I thought it could use a little more....... spice." she shrugged.

"What did you do?" Steve sighed.

"I thought this itching powder was a gag gift. Didn't think it'd actually work." she replied, pulling a sachet of something out of her back pocket. Bucky say the colorful bubble lettering clear as day: 'Ultimate Itching Powder'.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Bucky huffed out angrily.

"Go ahead, big boy. I'd like to see you try."

Steve snatched the itching powder sachet from her hand, his eyes skimming over the fine print for a solution.

"Okay, it's only rose hips." said Steve calmly.

"What does that mean?" asked Nat.

"He just needs to take a shower to wash it off. Maybe put on some lotion and he should be good."

"That is if he can even make it to the shower." she laughed.

"Bite me!" Bucky hissed.

"Only if you ask nicely, sweetheart." she batted her eyelashes at him.

Bucky huffed at her and pushed past her towards his room. He swore to her that he'd get her back once he was done. His threat when nowhere with her. She only laughed again and patronized him some more.

"Why can't you two just be nice to each other?" Steve asked her once Bucky was gone from sight.

"Because this is more fun." she said like it was obvious. "Besides, he deserved it for ruining my insides with those pepper muffins."

"So will you two kiss and make up now?"

"Gross! No way! I'd rather take the muffins." she said which made Nat giggle like a little girl.

"Better watch out before he puts something even worse in your food." the redhead teased.

"Which just means I gotta plan my revenge now. If you'll excuse me-" she reached for the sachet still in Steve's hands. He snatched it out of her reach and scolded her.

"No." was all he said. She didn't fight him.

"Okay." she shrugged, and then walked away.

"I have a really bad feeling about this." Steve muttered.

"Twenty bucks says they end up hate-fucking by the end of the month." challenged Nat. Steve rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving Nat standing in the middle of the room dumbfounded.

[chaoticbritishqueen]

Things I've overheard in my 3rd year if uni:

"You got confused by the concept of a bus ticket...Londoners are weird."

"wait?! you boil your fucking chicken?!"

"I'm going to casually hate crime everyone this evening. It's okay when a gay guy does it right? It's almost charming" "it is as long as you're not being racist."

"are we saying the same thing?" "Don't worry, we're both as deaf as eachother." "Wait no, I'm actually deaf." "Holyshit i'm so sorry."

"You look energised!" "I'm not energised. It's just the nervous energy coursing through my veins."

"Wait you want to fucking hang me?!"

"no more bones for you!" "I am not a womennn" "NO MORE BONES FOR YOU!!"

"Mr blue?! why not Mrs blue?! Why not Mx blue?! WHY ARE WE GENDERING THE VAPES?!"

"what took you so long?" "I fell on my arse" "What?" "An old guy told me to go home" "Ew gross"

"Most heat escapes through our heads, that's why we have hair." "What about me? I have no hair." "Sucks to be you I guess?"

"shein Paul Mitchell tried to get me to give him a lift home and called me georgouus.... what the actual fuck."

"Freshers flu left me feeling sad with a sore throat." "Me after Saturday night's." "MATE! NO!"

"Is anyone an female woman?"

"Disabilities preventing you from being a simp."

"The problem with being a trans women, is that I love thigh high socks, so everytime I wear them I give myself an errection." "That's one way to turn yourself on tbf."

"Google maps says its 12 minutes, but I'm gay, so it will take me 8 right?" "Add headphones and it will take 5."

"I didn't have a minor panic attack when writing my review."

"The doctors took my asthma inhaler from me because I kept using it to placebo myself out of panic attacks!" "Wait, like that one scene in teen wolf?!" "Not so bullshit I found out..."

"The review is due in 11 hours and here I am playing god of war... I definitely am doing good right now everyone!"

"Mens existence ruining my outfit decisions"

"Discriminating against those with confused immune systems. Don't sit on the peanut table motherfuckers."

"I'm Mexican, I know how to survive in the wild!"

"the bottle is on your side tonight!"

"That's kinda gay, not gonna lie." "I am gay?"

"I don't love my sister enough to buy her paper chase wrapping paper. A kidney? Sure! Spending more than 1 quid on wrapping paper? Hell fucking NO!"

"You're 26?! You said you were 18?!" "I wanted to see if you'd belive me." "WHY WOULD I QUESTION YOUR AGE?! THATS FUCKIMG CREEPY" "i thought'd it be funny" "HOW IS IT FUNNY?!"

"I'll bring in a knife... and toilet roll?"

"I HAVE WATER IN MY BRAIN THANKS TO YOU!!!"

"This new year we will be preying for her nipples."

"I wanted an orgy!" "What?" "NOT WITH YOU GUYS. Obviously." "I was about to say..." "Yeah you know he's gay right?"

"STOP BURNING THE MARSHMELLOW! ITS BLACK THAT'S WRONG!" "HEY! what's wrong with black?!" "YEAH! Black is beautiful!" "NOT ON A MARSHMELLOW!!"

"I am the most British person here! Obviously." "Babe, not even your white half is British."

"My Unlce is half Jamaican." "Wait what?!" "It's quite obvious I'm not the Jamaican side of the family..."

"I had to explain to my sister she's not a quater Asian... Somehow noone told her about our biological grandma despite the fact she's named after her..."

"DOCTORS STOLE MY EAR BONES!!!"

"I have to stop eating gherkins when my heart starts beating really fast!" "Are you okay?"

"okay but why does that face give me 'moisurise me' vibes?!" "Thats what apartheid-era inbreeding does to a mf"

"Imagine actually talking to a bus driver, I pretend they don't exist and walk off." "What the actual FUCK is wrong with you you cunt. YOU SAY THANK YOU TO THE BUS DRIVERS, YOU WALNUT!"

"You've got like a bubblegum rock aesthetic going on." "Is that an insult?" "NO! it's cool!"

"No offense to either of you, but you both just gave me the gay gudgement face."

"I think gravity is acting on you and your boobs separately" "I mean issac Newton was a virgin when he discovered gravity."

"HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW MY TIT WOULD CAUSE A BREAKUP"

"I have been resting my head on your lap for quite some time now, you don't have any boobs." "My dude, that's called a binder."

"allow me to tube my feet on the tesco floor."

"You felt my ribcage!" "It was certainly a bonding experience"

"My hand smells like it would taste so good." "Please don't eat your hand."

"FUCK THE WHITES! They have no rights." "Xbox or people?"

"I am real straight women""Yes of course you love that man sausage." "Okay, but why did that sentance physically pain me."

"Congrats, you got a new highscore in the ace test."

"I have the eyebrows in the relationship."

"I got flash banged by a whipped cream can on the weekend!" "What the fuck?!"

"FUCK APPLEJACK!" "WHY WOULD YOU FUCK APPLEJACK?!?!?!" "NOT LIKE THAT!!"

"DON'T CAPRI SUN THE BABY!"

"Mc pickle pasta"

"I’m getting silly freaky weird tonight"

"YOU CENSORED YOUR TOES?!"Those are private." "Got to pay for those, do i?" "Yes, £5 per toe. " "Im good, respect the hussle. " "You'd get friends and family discount, Pinkie toes free with the whole set."

"Everyone is naked and dancing in your kitchen... this qualifies as a good party."

"Get back to your lesbian sex party."

"THAT LOOKS IILEGAL! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"does an earthquake mean the world is jerking off with no pay off?"

"today is the rise of the tampon king. everyone rejoice."

"All my ex gave me was an STI scare and commitment issues."

"Lesbians all know eachother!" "Hello. I am a lesbian and you do not know me. Nice to meet you!"

"I will send you a titty pic when you finish your exam." "now I'm motivated mommy."

"I will be slayed and not in the gay way."

"Day one of guessing what time you come out of the shower." "Fail. I'm fully clothed."

[snailposts]

first of all 100% agree most nuts should not be salted. almost inevitably it completely masks the taste

1-2 can be flipped depending how you see it

1 . Walnut. this is my favorite in the same way people's favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla. there are more interesting nuts, but this one i would never get sick of. extremely easy to eat. also can add a nice texture to a meal :)

2. Hazelnut. by far the best flavor, even better roasted and enhances many confections. only think holding me back is their hardness. ALSO tying these with Chestnuts, which are extremely underrated. i might put chestnut first if they were more readily available

3. Cashew. in childhood i would eat huge amounts of these. very pleasant flavor and texture if you DO NOT SALT IT. i prefer whole to halves.

from here on out i could take or leave these nuts. if i were a bigger nut enthusiast my rankings might be different but i am not

4. Almond. at first i put these dead last bc the nut itself sucks. tough, chewy and bland. however almond *flavored* things are generally really good. marzipan, amaretto, ajoblanco etc. i love almond milk drinks but like. whole milk flavored with almonds NOT the milk alternative

5. Pistachio. there's potential here, but by itself it's kinda too small and shrively to enjoy. best incorporated into desserts with other delicate flavors like rose and cardamom. however with these enhancements it becomes an elite nut.

6. Brazil nut/Macademia nut/miscellaneous. i don't eat these often enough to have a real opinion but they're fine. macademia nuts are good texture but flavor is meh

7. Peanut. can be really good roasted/fried in savory dishes but otherwise they don't do it for me. boiled peanuts in southern usa are pretty good tbh. i hate the salted/seasoned kind in a can and unfortunately that's what i mostly associate them with.

8. Pecan. i forget you exist sometimes sorry. too similar to walnuts and strong association with shitty desserts

This is so hard but I need to force myself to do it because it's so important. I want to be strong and I want to try.

Nut Ranking

Peanut

Pistachio

Cashew

Almond

Walnut

Hazelnut

Pecan

God this is so fucking hard. I think I'm now absolutely sure about 1 and 2 but after that it's a mess.

[dead-potato-monster]

So, get this.

One day, by that I mean today I was asking random questions to my brother like: What is the meaning of life? Why do pigeons have feelings? Why do jellyfish have no brain? Well, he answered the last one saying because they don’t need it. I being the bored genius I am retaliated with: “I DONT NEED A BRAIN EITHER” This led to a consensus on what my skull might contain instead: >>Green Goop >>Glitter >>A walnut. Green goop was thrown out the window immediately.

Glitter is for happy people and we decided that i’m not happy.

A walnut was the final and obvious choice after I said this iconic self burn: “Oh yeah, it should be a walnut - i’m the snack that everyone needs but no one wants...” ~the end~

[creatively-cosmic]

Shitty (but mostly wholesome) phone doodle dump

[seoness]

ALRIGHT I have a question too, o rather two::: How can reader know that the hound is in a good mood? Since his neutral demeanor is serious and usually sulking lmao, what signs does he show when he's not moody that day? And also: i've read your sfw alphabet for him and you said he's a good listener,,, in the show he seems to have rather little patience for 'talkers', like in the chicken scene w polliver or even the scenes with the farmer that gives him and arya shelter and food; though w the latter he seems to engage minimally in conversation before completely disminishig the whole speech of the farmer to ask for ale🤣, but i do recognize that those two are completely strangers to him and he does opens up w people he kinda knows, like beric, thoros, arya or sansa. So how would it be w reader in the start and when they progress? How easy is to have a conversation w him in general spare time?

Answer to question 1:

You want to be able to read the Hound's face? It's subtle at first, and that is partly due to design. Having an unreadable face is favorable with a sworn sword and to the untrained eye, the Hound would only appear to have a scowl and a deeper scowl in his range of facial expressions.

But here is where the books and the show differentiate. The book-version talks waaaay more than the TV version. The quiet sullenness is one found more so on the screen than on the page (not that I'm saying that the Hound in the books runs his mouth endlessly but that when he could talk and had something to say, he did.) Being the quiet recluse is an attribute of his brother, not him. The book version has a couple of tells, face twitching, eyes narrowing, and accusatory speech when he's irate.

The show... well, he seems to have taken on some of Gregor's characteristics. Less talkative and with tendencies to isolate. He hunkers down on a wall with Beric. He sits and drinks in silence with Tormund, and when Tormund breaks it over Brienne, he becomes annoyed. Regardless, the easiest way to tell how he's feeling is to ask him. Getting questions like: "How was your day?" would show him that you care for him.

(This isn't your question, but I love both the books and the show version of the character. I do however attribute liking the Hound in the later seasons to Rory McCann's acting and not the writing. I feel, like with everything else, the writers were lost the more the seasons went on and didn't know what to do with the characters, and the Hound wasn't (in my opinion) spared. I still cringe into oblivion when I think about the dialogue he had with Sansa Stark about Ramsey Snow.)

(My entire reaction during that scene but I have detoured to much and you didn't ask for a rant). *rebooting*

Answer to question 2:

Fuck me, I am so sorry, these two answers suck BUT it will once again differ from if you are speaking to the book version vs the show version. 😭

The book version: It was a bit tricky at first, making the Hound relax around you, but with time and keeping your questions away from his service to the Crown Prince he'll begin to open up. While there's little "empty talk" like "the weather looks nice today" and gossip, he's open to talking about most things.

The show version: Getting a long conversation is like cracking open a walnut with the help of a feather. He prefers silence. He'll mostly listen at first, to your passions and interest. A lifetime of work and duty didn't grant him time to make too many of those.

But it doesn't matter from what universe you pluck him. Two sayings are true regarding Sandor Clegane. The first is one of our world, "empty barrels makes the most noise". When he speaks there is a point to be made, a warning to be heeded or a question you just might be the only one able to answer. The second one comes from his own lips:

"A hound will die for you, but never lie to you. And he’ll look you straight in the face."

I hope I answered your question, it's a bit of a mismatch of "Welcome to my Tedtalk" and stuff. 🙈 I just wanted to highlight that the SFW alphabet is on the book Sandor and not the show version.

[dreams-of-yunho]

summer strawberries

yunho x y/n

rating: m

genre: smut with a dash of fluff

wc: 2.4k

warnings: steamy shower sex!!!! oral (f r), kinda hand job idk if it counts, light praising, mentions of melted ice cream :o

summary: the hot summer sun is horribly unforgiving. and what's better on a hot summer day but a cool shower? or, even better, a cool shower with mr. jeong yunho? <3

______________________________________________________________

It was hot. Unberably, ridiculously, stupid, dumb hot. The kind of heat where nail polish becomes sticky and ink won’t dry. Brain melting hot. At least there was a breeze; wind riffled through leaves causing storms of maple tree seeds to fall to the sun torchered ground. Birds cried harshly as winds jostled their homes. Small creatures kept to the shadows: rabbits, squirrels, and chipmunks skirting the sickening heat. Delicate and dainty flower petals wilted tragically.

And what were you to do? It was too miserable to even lift a finger. You were surprised your body was still functioning, believing your heart should burst and your blood boil. Simply miserably miserable you positioned yourself upon the sofa in the living room, the shades drawn so as to not let the fires of hell enter the home. If it weren’t for his promise of ice cream in the next ten minutes, you would have removed all the food from the freezer and shut yourself in, even if it meant asphyxiation, you could not have cared less at this point. If the universe wanted you to melt so badly, why didn’t it just get it over with, the sadist?

Eleven minutes, you thought to yourself, if he takes eleven minutes, we’re through. The prospect of ice cream was not taken lightly in your family. Ice cream was a happy escape for you. A brief moment of release from the trials and tribulations of everyday life. In reality, it wasn’t that great a deal but, today, as the sea of flames spilled through the glass window panes, ice cream was life or death and you would kill for it. You would kill anyone.

As minute ten neared and beads of sweat ran down your back, the door opened and in walked your Knight in Shining Armour, Jeong Yunho.

You watched Yunho as he stood, pantting, in the entryway. You knew the heat was real because of the way he was dressed; he wore a simple white tank top and camouflage cargo shorts. His lightly curled, night black hair was concealed by a ballcap. He removed his sandals and walked towards the living room, barefeet softly padding across the hardwood.

“Okay,” he started. You stared up at him from your place on the couch as he stood in front of you. His cheeks were flushed and his face glistened with a sheen of sweat. “We have choices:” a drop of clear liquid emerged from his hat-covered hairline and dripped to his eyebrow. “Chocolate crunch,” he pulled an ice cream bar from his left hip pocket. “Strawberry and orange cream,” he held two bars previously in his right hip pocket. “And,” he pulled a final bar from his bottom left pocket, “brown sugar boba.”

You carefully observed the selections he held before you. You would take anything frozen, even black cherry walnut.

“But, the thing is,” his tone dropped. “They’re melted.” He shook the bags and you could hear liquid sloshing around.

A quiet rage filled your chest, burning through your lungs. “Yunho!” He lowered his head and dropped his shoulders. “Why did you put them in your pockets?”

“I thought it would protect them from the sun but, I think it acted as a sort of convection  oven and escalated the melting process… don’t be mad at me.” He looked down at you through large, heart crushing, puppy dog eyes.

“Hmmmmmmmm,” you whined, destroyed by the lack of immediate ice cream. “We can put them in the fridge I guess. But, that’ll take forever, ugh.” You slowly dragged your hands across your face, collecting far more sweat than you could have imagined. “Ew,” you cringed, looking at your silken hands. “I guess I can shower while they’re in the freezer.”

“Wait,” Yunho called from the kitchen. “I need to shower first; I am drenched.”

“No, me first.”

“You’re not even off the couch,” he shut the freezer door. “How are you going to beat me to the bathroom?” A cocky smile spread on his rose petal lips.

“I’ll beat you.” You made an attempt to stand but your legs felt like jello-twigs and they collapsed under you. “Fine,” you sighed. “I’ll drown in my own sweat. Tell me you love me before it’s too late.”

It was impossible but you could hear him smiling from where he stood.

“y/n, my love,” his footsteps neared. “There is room for more than one in the shower.” Yunho extended a hand.

“Carry me.”

“Hmm,” he pretended to contemplate. “Fine.”

His actions were swift; strong hands reached under your legs and back, pulling you off the couch and to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck. He was sweaty but you didn’t mind.

Your feet met the cold, stone floor as he set you down in the bathroom. He moved to turn on the shower and you faced the mirror. Your hair was terribly frizzy (on account of the humidity) and fell this way and that, sticking to your damp forehead. Your face was puffy and your cheeks awfully rosy. You wore, it could barely be called, a tank top and no bra.

“Yunho,” you called gently. “I don’t think I want to do anything. I don’t feel very sexy right now.” You watched as he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

His hot breath stuck to your skin. “You’re hotter than this weather, darling.”

You laughed. “Cheesy.”

“Yet, completely true.” he set his chin on the top of your head and looked at you through the mirror. “Just a shower,” he promised. “Nothing more.”

Chilly water met your shoulders sending a shiver up your spine. But it felt nice. Water trickled over your face, down your neck and back, dragging the sweat and hardships of that day down the drain. Delicately scented, strawberry soap bubbled as you lathered it over your collar bones. “Let me get your back,” he said. Strong hands met your shoulder blades; massaging with his fingertips. Hands worked down your sides, gripping your hips and pulling back to rub the soap into your lower back.

“Mhm,” you moaned out as his fingers worked through the knots and tension.

“Does it feel good, sweetheart?” his hands ghosted lower.

“Hey,” you turned to face him. “You said just a shower.” He stood in front of you: tall and broad; godlike. The water was cold yet, blue veins pressed against the skin of his arms and hands. His dark hair was slicked back, accentuating the perfect bone structure of his face.

“Don’t you want a relaxing shower?”

You eyed his lush lips which were slightly parted in a gentle smile. Your gaze traveled his strong features and came to rest on his eyes. Those beautiful eyes; the eyes you fell for. The eyes that could never hide his feelings; eyes that told everything. There were little droplets of water caught on his eyelashes and he blinked them away.

You felt the urge to kiss him; setting your hands on either cheeks. You stood high on your tippy toes but he was still out of reach and was unwilling to help. “Yunho,” you gripped his face tighter. “Come here. I want to kiss you-”

He put a finger to your lips. “Just. a. Shower.”

“One kiss,” you whispered over the stream of the shower.

“One kiss,” he agreed.

You closed your eyes, waiting, expecting his lips upon yours. Instead, you felt his hands graze down your sides and hips, resting on the tops of your thighs. You opened your eyes to see Yunho drag the tip of his nose down your stomach. His warm breath hovered just in front of your sex. “Yunho, that’s not what I meant.” You put your hands on his chin, trying to pull his lips back to yours.

He only gripped your thighs harder. “You asked for a kiss,” he breathed. “I’m going to give you a kiss, my love.”

Every hair stood on end as his nose ran over your clit. He tilted his head back to lick a wet stripe against your sensitive nerves. You whined as his tongue landed directly on it, circling again and again. You could only whine as his lips enclosed you and your legs became wobbly.

“Y-yunho,” you moaned as he sucked. “I’m going to fall.” You tried to balance yourself against the wall and he wrapped his arms around your back, trying to stabilize you as he continued to suck and lick relentlessly. “Ah,” you could feel that familiar knot twist in your stomach as he began to kiss you harder. And, when that knot was at the verge of snapping, he removed his lips with a wet smack.

He groaned as he stood and met your eyes, watching you as you breathed haggardly, mouth gaping. A hand fell to your shoulder, moving a wet strand of hair back. “I’m a good kisser, huh?”

“Mhm,” you nodded.

“Yeah,” he hummed, running his hands up and down your back. “Would you like to kiss again?”

“Ha,” you scoffed and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. It was heavenly as your bodies collided; your hands tugging at his silky hair, tits against his abs, his nails pressing crescent moons into your hips.

You pulled back to catch your breath, still winded from him eating you out. “God,” you ran a thumb over his cheek. “You are a good kisser.”

You thought he would come right then and there, the look he gave you was steeped in passion and lust. His hand met your ass, pulling one leg up to his waist as he moved to press your back against the cold tile wall. He winced as his hard on pressed against your lower stomach.

You loved that look. You wanted to see it again; to know you made him feel good.

Your hand snaked between your bodies as you began to pepper light kisses across his collar bones. He gasped as you grabbed his dick in your hand. You felt his Adam's apple bob as your lips moved to his neck. You squeezed him a little harder and his head fell back with a moan, giving you more beautiful canvas.

Warm fingers met your clit and you dropped your head to his neck, already sensitive from his mouth. “You’re so wet,” he ran his fingers back and forth through your folds, each movement causing you to moan against his chest.

“We-we’re in the shower,” you managed.

A deep laugh vibrated through his chest and his dick twitched in your hand. “I guess you’re right.” He pulled at your other leg. “Come here.”

“Yunho,” you raised your head. “If you slip and drop me,” you warned as effectively as you could with his fingers working you so wonderfully.

“I would never let you fall,” his strong arms pulled you close. “Jump.”

You managed to jump the best you could and one of Yunho’s hands was there to meet you. “Good job, baby,” he lowered you down his body a little.

You could feel him lining up, his tip pushing at your entrance. His eyes fell to yours, watching your face as he lowered you slowly onto him. You groaned as he moved deeper into you, parting you. “Is it okay,” a hand rubbed your back lovingly.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “You can keep going.”

He smiled slightly and loosening his grip on your back one last time, bottomed out with a moan.

You tugged at his hair as you adjusted to his immense size.

“Okay?” He kissed your cheeks.

“Yes, just give me a sec.” You moved your hips up and down, desperate for the pain to subside.

“Jesus,” he squeezed his eyes shut. “A warning next time.”

You clenched around him in response.

“Cheeky,” he chuckled.

“Okay,” you breathed out. “Move.”

“Okay,” he smiled down at you. He captured your moans in a kiss as he thrusted into you.

He was gentle with you, as he always was. He carefully watched you, making sure everything felt good, that he made you feel good. “That’s it, baby,” he cooed. “You’re so pretty.”

You gripped his shoulders as his pace began to quicken and you couldn’t help but clench as his veins dragged against your walls.

“If you keep doing that,” he choked out between thrusts. “I’m going to come right now.”

You slumped against his chest. You wanted to listen to him but he was making you feel so good. Your body was coming completely relaxed and undone in his touch. Your mind, your body, your heart; you were so at ease being with him.

However, your nerves began to spark as his fingers fell to your clit. You could tell he was close because he dropped his forehead to yours wordlessly, his nose scrunched. And he loved when you two came together; Completely free in each other’s arms.

He seemed to completely forget about the slick watery surface he stood on and began to pound into you as fast and as hard as he could. You moaned and mewled as he hit deeper and deeper with each thrust.

“I’m gonna come, y/n,” he warned, his pace becoming erratic and you clenched harder around him, feeling your high approaching too.

“Me too, Yunho,” you whined as he hit your g-spot with a particular force.

You came loudly, fingers desperately searching for something to grip, finally resting on his toned biceps.

He followed you almost immediately, his hips ramming into yours sloppily as his dark eyes bored into yours, a lazy smile on his swollen lips. He pulled out and slumped to the shower floor, holding you tightly in his arms. He gently peppered your face with kisses. “I love you, y/n.”

You giggled as he found a ticklish spot behind your ear. “I love you too, Yunho.” You sighed as you saw his cum run out of your pussy and down the shower drain. “We should have sex in the shower more often; easier to be lazy.”

“I tire you out that much, huh?”

“My god,” you scoffed. “Cocky bastard.”

“You love it,” he teased, massaging the inside of your sore thighs.

You rolled your eyes. “Wanna wash my hair?” You asked, only half kidding.

“I would but, I don’t want to. I want to stay like this.”

“Me too,” you agreed, sinking deeper into his arms. “I could fall asleep like this.”

“Yeah,” his raspy voice responded. “Me too.”

[cursestothemoon]

hi, hope you're doing alright

could you do something with wolfstar x reader where she uses the safe word?

i love your writing btw

Our Good Girl

S.O.B. X FEM!READER X R.J.L. 

polyamorous relationship 

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

warnings: smut, vaginal penetration, oral (male and female receiving), degradation, humiliation, choking, spanking, USE OF SAFE WORD, dom!Sirius(maybe kinda switch!) and Dom!Remus/sub!reader, daddy kink because why not, spitting, UNEDITED (im sorry✋🏻)

Your quill tapped ceaselessly on the black walnut wood of the desks that filled Slughorn’s classroom. Sirius sat next to you, your partner since the beginning of the year and your boyfriend for a year and a half, had a firm grip on your upper thigh. His breathing was shallow and back incredibly straight as he sat in his seat without sparing you as much as a glance. You had made him mad, at least you assume you had, he came into class with a look of dominance and you knew better than to question him when he was like that. A short ‘You are to follow me after class’ was the only thing he had uttered to you since the start of the lesson, nearly an hour ago. 

“Alright everyone, you are to turn in your essays, no shorter than one and a half scrolls, by...let’s say Monday. Use the extra time wisely.” Slughorn dismissed the class after his reminding of the homework. 

Sirius was quick to slip his hand into your own, grabbing both your book bags and throwing them over his shoulder as he ushered you out of the classroom. 

“Remus and I have agreed you are to be punished, Moony’s probably already waiting for us in the dorm.”

You bit the corner of your lip before speaking up, “But I haven’t done anything bad.”

Sirius smirked as he stopped walking, turning to you with a glint in his eye, “Does Daddy need a reason to make sure his brat knows her place?”

The rasp in his low voice, his thumb tracing your cheekbone so lovingly juxtaposing the harsh, teasing tone of his words made arousal pool in your panties. 

“No, Daddy.” You mumbled, slipping your hand back into his as he started walking again. 

Without turning to look at you Sirius smiled, “Good girl.”

The rest of the way to the boys’ dorm was silent, Sirius just a few steps ahead of you at all times with his hand tugging yours just slightly. The door, a worn light wood, of the familiar dorm was being pushed open to reveal Remus sitting on his bed, belt in hand. His eyes turned toward you and Sirius as you entered the room, a stern look falling onto you.

“What did she do?” The question was directed to Sirius but his eyes trained on you.

Sirius shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant as he removed his tie, “Nothing, just think she needs some reminding.”

His mind was else where as he spoke making you silently wonder, had you done something?

Remus seemed to ask himself the same question as his brow furrowed slightly in your direction when Sirius wasn’t paying attention. You bit your lip again and averted your gaze to the floor making Remus stand and approach you.

His thumb came up to pull your lip from between your teeth, “Good bunny’s don’t shred their lips, you know Daddy doesn’t like it when you do that.”

You nodded, meeting his honey touched eyes as you spoke, “M’sorry, Daddy.”

“M’sorry, Daddy.” Sirius mocked, coming up to the two of you. 

He placed a longing kiss on Remus’ lips, knowing the lack of attention would have you whining. He was right, breathy whines were leaving your parted lips in no time as you watched your boyfriends slip into a passionate kiss while you were left to watch. You were tempted to reach your hand down and relieve the aching of your throbbing clit with your own fingers, give Sirius an actual reason to punish you, but he seemed rather testy already. 

“Is puppy getting needy all by her lonesome?” Sirius asked teasingly after he pulled away from Remus’ lips. 

You gave a feeble nod as your hands fiddled with each other. 

The raven haired boy sighed, as if this was talking a toll on him, “Alright, clothes off and over my knee.”

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, taking Remus’ belt that had been left there by the lycanthrope mere minutes ago. Sirius ran the leather across his palm, it was still warm from being wrapped around one of his lovers’ hips. 

Again, Sirius seemed to lose himself in the act, his jaw tense and knee bouncing making you strip faster. Something was bothering him, and suddenly the impromptu punishment was making more sense. You were always eager to help him blow off some steam, so you made sure to be the good girl you knew you were, his and Remy’s good girl. 

You draped yourself over Sirius’ lap elegantly, the mere thought of helping him through his frustrations had you clenching your thighs. You were always eager to help your daddies. 

Remus was making quick work of ridding himself of his trousers and briefs. He was semi-hard already, jerking himself off as he walked closer you and Sirius. 

“Open up, puppy.” Remus instructed as he tapped the tip 0f hi cock on your lips. 

He pushed past your parted lips, the warmth of your mouth making him let out a breath that turned into a low hum as you started to suck on his spongey head. Remus’ thrusts into your mouth were slow and hard, his hand petting your head gently- his dominance was something he embodied, and rarely ever had to prove.

“You aren't to stop sucking Moony.” Sirius warned as he ran a hand across your ass, landing a soft smack just to see the skin ripple deliciously. 

You barely had any time to prepare yourself before you felt the harsh lick of the leather belt on the sensitive skin of your backside. His blows were quick- if he had asked you to count you would’ve struggled- and precise. The first few had an erotic sting to them, making you moan around Remus’ prick in your mouth, but as the belt returned to your skin it got firmer, the pain soon overtaking the pleasure. Sirius lost himself in the action, his mind seemingly glazing over the fact that you were on the receiving end of his brutal whips. His jaw was tensing again and Remus had half a mind to pull you away from him because this had to be painful, but you knew your safe word- if it was too much you’d tap his thigh three times and say your safe word- you showed no signs of displeasure so he went along with it. 

In your impending submissive haze, pleasing Sirius was the main focus on your mind and the pain was a small price to pay for your Daddy to not be mad anymore. You lost your rhythm as you tried your best to bob your head along Remus, his cock triggering your gag reflex now making you audibly choke. 

With perfect timing, Remus pulled you off himself as Sirius gave the last few blows to your backside. You were then shoved onto the bed harshly by the raven haired Gryffindor, the sheets rubbing against the raw skin of your ass making you wince quietly. 

Remus, in an attempt to balance the pain and pleasure , knelt down in front of your bare cunt. He started to rub slow circles with his thumb on your throbbing clit. 

“Our good girl is absolutely drenched Pads, here have a taste.” He offered, fingers dipping down to run up your slit and collect your juices before holding his hand up for Sirius. 

Sirius wasted in time in wrapping his lips around the waiting digits, cleaning them of your arousal. The sight made you squirm, it was beyond intimate and had your walls clenching. With a pop, Remus removed his fingers from Sirius mouth and placed them back on your needy pussy. The two fingers running up and down your folds before entering your tight hole, his lips attaching to your clit with wanton fervor. 

You knew your rules, Remus made sure of it, so your hands stayed by your sides resisting the urge to card through and pull the warm chocolate strands of his hair. Breathy moans were emitted from your lips at first, before they grew louder and stronger that had Sirius casting a silencing charm on the room. He then busied himself with stripping himself of his remaining clothes before situating himself near your torso, his hand coming up to tug and tweak your pert nipples, pulling more and more moans out of you. 

Remus fingers sped up as did his tongue bringing you closer to the edge, your hips and thighs trembling letting both boys know you were close. 

“Hold it you fucking brat. If you cum, you’re cuming around my cock.” Sirius spat, delivering a harsh slap to your sensitive nipple. 

The request made you whine but you did as you were told, you wanted to make your Daddy happy. Remus continued his torment, lapping at your cunt knowing you’d never be allowed to finish like this. He gave a few more broad licks before pulling away making you cry out and pulling Sirius closer by the back of his neck and connecting their lips. The kiss was short and messy, Remus pulling away to land a smack to his boyfriend’s face before forcing his jaw open and spitting onto his tongue. The taste was intoxicating, both you and Remus intermingled beautifully- Sirius wanted nothing more than to swallow it, so he did. 

The lycanthrope moved aside so Sirius could have his way with you. The aforementioned was grabbing his tie, and turning you over onto your belly so he could have access to your wrists. Remus moved to sit in front of you on the bed, his legs spread in a straddle and his painfully hard prick nearly touching your face. He slowly jerked himself off as Sirius knotted his tie around your wrists skillfully- the harder he tugged the tighter they got. 

Your hips were then pulled up, your back arched, and face shoved into the sheets before Sirius pulled you up by the restraints on your wrists. The counterweight of your body on the restraints had it impossibly tight, making the tips of your fingers go cold from the loss of circulation. Without time for adjustment, Sirius was pounding into from behind and Remus fisting himself to match pace with the boy’s thrusts. 

The first few thrusts were enjoyable, the head of his cock hitting the spot inside you that you seeing stars instantly, and the sight of precum leaking from the appetizing sight of Remus Lupin’s dick right in front of you. But the soon the painful grinding of your wrists along with the loss of circulation in your fingers and painful slapping of Sirius’ skin against the red, raw skin of your backside had tears welling in your eyes- any pleasure was gone.

Remus seemed to notice your change in mood, his hand slowing on his shaft as his eyebrows knit together softly- something wasn’t right. 

Sirius had lost himself again, jaw clenched, eyes trained somewhere else in the room which was unusual in itself- Sirius was always present during sex.

Before Remus could say anything, it was your heartbreaking cry that cut him off.

“Red! Red! Please, stop!” 

Your mind straddled the dangerous fog of subspace and...something else. You felt vulnerable, embarrassed, and afraid you had disappointed your daddies.

Remus was quick to reach over and pull your wrists from Sirius’ grasp, untying his reed and gold tie, before pulling you into his lap as your sobs grew heavier. Sirius seemed to freeze, the safe word being called out with such a pleading and desperate tone had snapped him back to reality in lightning speed. 

“Shh, it’s all ok, love, y’wanna tell Remy and Siri what happened?” Remus cooed, voice gentle as you hid your face in his neck to find some sort of shelter. 

You sniffled, “Jus’ hurt a lot, didn’t feel nice.”

His hand came up to brush your hair away from your face, “Can you tell us what didn’t feel nice, so we know not to do it again?”

“Spankings were too hard, when Siri’s skin was touching mine it hurt, an-and the ties were too tight, m’finger were getting cold...” You words came out slow and mumbled, every few broken by a hiccup or sniffle. 

“Oh, puppy...” 

You recognized the voice as Sirius’ making you turn to look at him. The tears freely flowing down his cheeks made a fresh wall of your own tears build and you started to blubber again.

“M’sorry, I didn’t mean to be bad, promise.” You cried as Sirius slowly climbed up onto the bed, his movements slow and cautious. 

He was worried you’d hate him, that you’d never look at him the same. Sirius hated himself for not recognizing your boundaries and for taking his anger out on you in such a way. 

The way you were apologizing, as if you were at fault, pulled at his heartstrings more as he pulled you into his chest. You gladly wrapped yourself around his body, his arms encircling you. Remus looked up, into Sirius’ eyes, and could see the guilt that was eating him alive, it was eating at Remus too. 

“You did nothing wrong, love. I’m so proud of you for using your safe word when it didn't feel nice, and I’m so sorry, I made you feel like that, baby.”

You felt Remus place his hand on your back, scooting in to wrap his arms around both of you, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you weren’t enjoying it, darling.”

It was after a few beats with your head in Sirius’ neck, and your hand holding one of Remus’ thumbs that you spoke up again.

“S’not your fault, it’s ok.”

Sirius shook his head, “No, I was in a foul mood because of a run in with Snivellus, and I tried to use you to work through my anger, as if you weren’t a good girl, my good puppy. Forgive me, Y/n.”

“I forgive you, Siri.” You placed a soft kiss on the underside of his jaw before leaning over to pull Remus into a kiss. 

After breaking away Remus suggested, “How about we get some clothes on, and cuddle. Our good girl needs a nap, yeah?”

You feebly nodded making Remus stand up and bring over a shirt of Sirius’ to pull over your head and a pair of his own boxers for you to wear. Sirius helped you into the boxers, folding the waistband so they clung onto your hips better, before getting up himself to put his own underwear on- his hard-on being an issue of the past seeing as the self hatred that plagued him seeing your state did absolutely nothing to arouse him. Remus also pulled on his own pair of plaid boxers. 

Soon you three were all laying in Remus’ bed, you sandwiched in the middle of your two boyfriends. Remus had an arm reached around you and Sirius, rubbing soft circles on the boy’s shoulder blade. Sirius had his hand resting on the side of your face- you were turned toward him- his fingers running along the skin as you were slipping into a peaceful sleep. The last thing you could remember was Remus pressing a loving kiss onto the crown of your head and your thumb running across the soft skin of his exposed hip behind you.

tags:

@amourtentiaa

@vsawyer1989​

@lifeofkaze

@siriusement

@erinblack003

@maybesandohnos

@edithsvoice

@msmb

@maybesandohnos

[afro-elf]

hello!! im moving to philly soon for college (drexel) and am rlly excited bc the few times I've been there I've loved everything abt it. I wanted to know if you had any advice for living in the city? (and comic book shop recommendations if you don't mind) thank u!!

my favorite shop is closing so no comic book shop recs :( but uncle bobbie's is a real nice little bookstore as is the last word on penn's campus (they have a cat)

i live near drexel so i know the area p well. the acme grocery store on 40th and walnut kinda sucks (there are so many alternatives nearby) but the movie theater across from it is nice. you do not need a car p much ever unless you are in a dire rush. your campus is so well placed that you can walk or take septa to p much anywhere in the city. the green line cafes are better than starbucks and saxbys and their croissants are baller. don't be afraid to leave campus, especially for food and community fun at nearby parks, philadelphians love doing things in parks especially if there's food. volunteer a little. don't look penn frat boys in the eyes on the weekends. a stranger may be yelling at you on the street because they like your shoes, yell "thank you" back. go to to the museums. go to the baltimore ave dollar stroll. go to flea markets. go to the library

[thegirlwiththelilactattoo]

no. 2, or some of my favorite things of 2022

Uh oh, did I say I was gonna blog weekly and now it's been 4 months? My bad!

In the time since I last posted I: started writing my diss/was told to stop writing my diss to do data analysis, completed fieldwork, added another member to my committee, and got accepted to two conferences. This is sweeping over a lot of things that sucked a lot and I'll need to talk about in therapy for the next 5 or so years, but that's grad school, babes. All in all it's been an incredibly stressful semester. I am really looking forward to having a restful break in December focusing on writing a chapter in December!

I also decided to turn this into a catch all blog for My Thoughts outside of academic things! And since it's the end of the year, I'm doing a lil favorite things of 2022.

Various Academic Things

Data analysis: I looked at other qualitative data softwares and chose to use ATLAS.ti for my dissertation. I am a...let's just say neurodivergent person and ATLAS.ti was the most aesthetically pleasing and intuitive software for me. It has a ton of features and data analysis capabilities, most of which I've barely used, but the ones I've tried have been useful.

Writing: I'm basic. I use Scrivener. It confuses me. I don't know if I recommend it.

Scheduling: I highly recommend Calendly. I should have used it from the jump to schedule dissertation interviews instead of going back and forth over email with my interlocutors. Now that I'm done with interviews, I use Calendly for students to schedule office hours appts. I like the Zoom and calendar integration, so once the link is sent, it's very hands off on my end.

Coworking: Re: the whole neurodivergence thing, coworking has been a real boon for me. My friend and I have a standing cowork session on Friday and it's been a great time for us to catch up and suffer through school stuff together. We keep each other accountable during our lil pomodoros and I miraculously get work done.

Going to the Writing Center??? I recently started going to my school's writing center for feedback on my applications and it's been so helpful.

Music

Beyoncé Gisele Knowles has run my life this year. "Renaissance" is the best album of 2022. I've also been running up "Currents" by Tame Impala for the entirety of this year and I don't see that changing in 2023.

Honorable Mentions: "Running Away" by VANO3000, "Them Changes" by Thundercat, "Eastside" by DAISY (RIP to such a good band)

Playlists I've Been Loving: roslyn rainy day kinda vibe, sad girl starter pack

Shows/Movies

Depression has sort of ruined my ability to consume visual media. And for the better part of the last decade, I have enjoyed and perhaps made it "a personality" to watch bad movies. I noticed this year that I became afraid (in a sense) to let myself watch movies that were good. It's a weird thing. My goal for next year is to get comfortable watching things that are good. I want to watch movies that make me feel something instead of solely engaging with a film because it's awful. That just doesn't speak to me anymore as a fulfilling way of being in the world.

At any rate, the most impactful movie I saw this year was Everything Everywhere All At Once. I saw this movie four times in the theatre and each time I got something new from it. It made me cry and laugh and feel like I could try to hope in a life that often feels meaningless.

Honorable Mentions: Bram Stokers Dracula dir. Francis Ford Coppola, The Batman dir. Matt Reeves, The Menu dir. Mark Mylod

Recipes

I have been LOVING this Kale Walnut Salad from frommybowl. It's super easy to make, refreshing, and is perfect to take advantage of really good apples.

Honorable Mentions: I've gotten rave reviews on this pumpkin bread.

Beauty/Aesthetics

This past year, I have finally mastered the wash and go. I used to be a twists girlie, but wash and gos last longer and look better on my hair. I think my hair is also the healthiest it's ever been. It's hard to pick a single product that I've loved the most for my hair, but the duo supreme is: Uncle Funky's Daughter Curly Magic and Innersense I Create Hold for a perfect wash and go every time.

Honorable Mentions: Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Crush Cheirosa 71 Perfume Mist, elf Brow Lift, ILIA The Necessary Eyeshadow Palette in Warm Nude

I think that's everything???? Sadly, I have read nary a book for leisure, but that's something for future me to ruminate on. I hope this was moderately interesting and I will try!!! to not take 4 months to post another thing :)

[tickle-bugs]

One of a Kind

@amazingmsme I didn't want to post the thing you sent just because of the minor minor spoilers (I hate that we've lost a grip on spoiler culture on the internet so I am overcorrecting to keep my blog safe!) but what you sent was too goddamn cute. Have an unedited thing I wrote in one go. This takes place in the nebulous, non-existent gap between episode 5 and 6! I still haven't see the finale so....this is canon-adjacent-adjacent I guess. Enjoy!

Spoilers for the Loki series under the cut!

Cataloguing variants had always been time-consuming, but somehow Loki was making it take longer. Mobius knew that Loki should’ve gone through his stack already, especially with his reading speed, but he was just staring at one particular file and huffing at increasing volumes.

Alright, I’ll bite.

“I’d ask what you’re thinking about, but I know you’re gonna tell me.” Mobius thumbed through his file on another Loki, one who’d defected from Thanos in 2012 to join the Avengers. They’d pruned him pretty early. Mobius still regretted not being able to pick his brain for a little while longer.

“These other variants are incredible,” Loki scoffed.

“I agree.”

“I don’t understand it.” He stared at Mobius, brow furrowed, and alright, they clearly weren’t getting any more work done.

“Lokis tend to be extraordinary. It’s kinda a thing with you guys.” Mobius slid his files aside.

“Right, but in comparison, I am at the lower end of the bunch.” Loki frowned, gesturing as if this was a matter of grave importance.

“Okay, you lost me.” He folded his hands on the table and squinted at Loki.

“We have an alligator, an illusionist whose powers dwarfed my own, a child who killed Thor, a President--though I can’t fathom wanting to be a part of the American political system--and an enchantress. Those are the variants that we know about. So why am I here helping you?”

“You’re the best of the bunch.” The simplest and truest answer. Loki didn’t seem to buy it.

Mobius dragged his chair around the table and put it in front of Loki, effectively pinning him against the table--well, he could just stand up and walk away, but Mobius knew he wouldn’t. It was part of their thing.

“What are you doing?”

“Just gettin’ closer.” Mobius slotted his knees between Loki’s and pulled his chair as far in as it could go.

“I can see that. Why?”

“I just wanna be close to you, that’s all.” He gave his best convincing grin. Loki visibly softened.

“Loki, you are a genius with a good heart. You’re here because you are, at least in my book, a hero.” Mobius gave his knee a steady pat. Loki puffed with pride.

“Go on.”

“Wow, you are on a perfect swinging scale of narcissism. From self-deprecating to king of the world in no time flat.” Mobius laughed.

“Thank you.” Loki adjusted his tie, missing or ignoring everything but the word ‘perfect’. Mobius bit his lip on a chuckle--he really shouldn’t inflate an already dangerously-large ego, but Loki needed it, he thought. His confidence was all air, after all--smug posturing designed to fill the void of something genuine. Loki could use genuine, for a change.

He looked Loki up and down slowly, deliberately, and an absurd little idea took root in the back of his mind. It had worked in the Time Cell, so maybe...

“Why are you looking at me like that? Wh--Mobius. Mobius. Stop it.” Loki leaned back as much as he could. Mobius grinned and hovered his fingers just over Loki’s torso, dangerously close. Loki sucked in his stomach, looking frantically between Mobius’s hands and his face.

“This r-really isn’t necessary.” The wobbly smile on Loki’s lips told Mobius the exact opposite.

“Nervous giggler, huh?” Mobius twitched his fingers and Loki jumped.

“No.”

“Perfect! Then you’ll hear what I have to say.” Mobius set his fingers adrift, passing languidly over Loki’s spots but never landing anywhere.

“Sylvie’s my favorite because she’s wild and unpredictable. I can never quite figure out what’s goin’ on in that head of hers, regardless of her being a Loki, and it fascinates me. You know I love my puzzles, and cracking open her head like a walnut has been a real highlight of my career.” Mobius’s fingers over Loki’s knee got the first giggles to bubble out, sweet and fluttery, and it took all of his strength not to chase them down.

“But you? You’re incredible. Quick wit, a quicker knife hand, and a will to survive that I haven’t seen in--” Mobius whistled lowly-- “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. Plus, you’re pretty cute. Or, so I’ve heard.”

“You had me wrapped around your finger when we brought you in. I mean, you could talk a desert into bloomin’.” It was the first time in a few thousand Loki’s that he’d genuinely almost been fooled--something about this one, his Loki, just got to him in a way that the others never could.

“I still have you around my finger.” Loki’s smile and rosy cheeks ignited a gentle warmth in Mobius’s chest. Gentle, rolling chuckles flowed steadily from him, walls completely broken down, and if Mobius could keep one memory forever, it would be this.

“Oh, and that laugh. I’m almost jealous. Literal music to my ears. Y’know, the other Loki’s never laughed like this? It was always this fake, snooty chuckle that used to make my skin crawl.

“But not you. You’ve got this damn beautiful giggle. It’s like the old saying goes: every time a Loki laughs, a puppy is born. Or angels get their wings. A little bit of both.” Mobius let his fingers drift upwards to Loki’s ribs and he whined, pitching forward until his forehead hit Mobius’s chest.

“T-That’s not a thing.” The color on Loki’s face had matured into a wonderful shade of cherry, his voice pinching from the sheer volume of emotion--Mobius could actually see him working through it in real time. Another favorite thing that he could never express aloud--how earnestly and easily Loki wore his emotions.

“He speaks!” Mobius swooped his hands in, never touching but threatening, and Loki yelped around some more giggles.

“Stop it.” Loki swiped at his hands, but even at close range, he couldn’t coordinate enough to catch Mobius.

“You’re right, my bad. It’s rude to keep you waiting.”

“Wh--no, nonono, that’s definitely not what I meant--”

“You make it so easy for me,” Mobius sighed wistfully, seeking out Loki’s trick rib as easy as breathing. Loki shrieked, crumpling in Mobius’s arms, and Mobius held him as he deftly took him apart.

“You are a Loki, alright? There’s no doubt about that. But you’re you, and I like ya. Stop worryin’ about the others.” He wormed his fingers under Loki’s arms, then spidered across the backs of his ribs and up towards his shoulders.

“M-Mobius!”

“Excellent point. You also have me. That’s a pretty big deal--I’m one of a kind, y’know. Limited edition. So there’s that.” His hands found solace beneath Loki's jaw, pulling forth jumpy squeaks between...purrs? Huh. He made a note of it as he scribbled his fingers up Loki’s thigh, dodging swatting hands like a stubborn bug. Loki pulled his knee up to his chest, head tilted back in open-mouthed laughter, and Mobius followed him.

“Who’s got an ego now?” Loki smirked, eyes crinkled, and Mobius summoned his best dramatic gasp.

“You take that back!”