#wallaces Dick and Ass

[l1tw1ck]

I wanna be Wallace’s sugar daddy 😋

bottom!ftm Wallace x top!amab reader

god me too

cw: sugar daddy/baby, daddy kink, creampie

After a year of dating, Wallace finally agreed to move in with you and he absolutely did not regret his decision. Aside from the fact that your house is both Huge and gorgeously decorated, he's been nothing short of pampered since moving in. It's a ginormous step up from the shitty apartment he shared with Scott. His closet is bigger than the living room and it's filled with designer clothing. He gets to live in luxury thanks to you and the only thing he has to do in return is have sex with you and that's not a difficult task at all for Wallace.

You gently drop all the shopping bags to the ground and turn to Wallace. He already knows what you're looking for and hurries over to you. He kneels down in front of you and quickly frees your length from your pants. "Thanks, Daddy." He kisses your tip before dragging his tongue seductively along your shaft, smiling as he does so. He likes teasing you and seeing your reactions.

"Don't tease me, not today, baby." You grip his hair. "I don't have the patience." Wallace looked too sexy today, his tight jeans were driving you crazy. You can't wait to take them off.

He licks his lips. "Then why don't we skip to the good part."

Wallace loses all his confidence and focuses entirely on his pleasure as you ram into him from behind, groping and slapping his ass. He knew he did the right thing by wearing those jeans. His pussy's just as tight. It's hard to fuck him with the way he keeps trying to suck you in. You reach over to his t-dick and he almost collapses from the pleasure. All he can do is moan and drool. "fu- fuck- fuckfuck-" He rolls his eyes back as he squirts on the bed, adding to the copious amounts of slick. You know he doesn't want you to stop so you don't, you fuck him even harder instead. He likes to be fucked until he passes out and you're always happy to oblige.

He always looks so pretty when he's sound asleep with cum dripping out of his cunt.

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#384

“Fucking hell.  If it ain’t Wallace McGrew’s oldest boy!…  Ryan, you did good.  Fuck yeah you did.  I can’t think of anything else that I would enjoy more for my 65th birthday....

 “TJ, did you know about this?...  I’m surprised you two kept this secret so well.  So is he a true faggot or one that you made?...  Well I’ll be damned, Wallace raised himself a screaming sperm burper, and that knob gobbler is standing before us, bound spread eagled, collared, gagged,…  plugged too.  All for me.  Fucking hell Ryan, you couldn’t have done any better with this year’s birthday cunt….

“…So you are the son of Wally?...  Just nod….  Good.  Do you know who I am?...  I would have been surprised that you hadn’t.  What about my ranch manager TJ?...  No.  Did you know Ryan was my boy?...  No.  Good.

“Ryan, why isn’t his pecker caged?  That’s one hell of a raging hard-on….  This faggot’s pecker is like steel….  It’s a good five- or six-incher.  It doesn’t look like he’s on any hard-on medication.  That’s all natural.  Goddamn!  This boy is leaking up a storm.  Now I understand why you didn’t put a cage on him.

“Why don’t you two bring the fuck table over and secure him bent over.  Nice body.  Ryan, you did a good job shaving him….  What?  You didn’t shave him?...  Well that’s interesting. 

“Look at that ass.  See those purple marks on his left cheek.  Those are scars from a savage whipping.  His back has healed up, but I can still see some marks.

“Faggot, you have played before, haven’t you?  It’s obvious you are a faggot.  But you have been beat before, right?  I mean a man has inflicted pain on you for his own enjoyment?...  Did your daddy do this to you?...  No?  Too bad.  You would have been a lot more interesting if he did.

“Fucking hell.  This changes things.

“Ryan, TJ, fuck him.  TJ you go first.  Be quick about it.  Ryan, yank out the plug and let me see it….  It’s spotless.  Did you clean him out?...  So the faggot was prepared….  Actually that doesn’t surprise me.  TJ, just shove it in and go to town.  Be rough on the fag’s cunt.  I want you to cum quick.

“Ryan, show me the video of him….  Wow, the faggot knows how to service your fat pud.  Look at him go.  That’s one hungry fag boy.

“Hey faggot, have you seen this?...  Look at how you throat Ryan’s sausage with ease.  I’m actually impressed here.  I know it’s hard to focus on the video with TJ plowing your twat.  He’ll be done soon.  He’s already started picking up the pace. 

“Look at your face here.  That is the face of a true faggot.  You are in ecstasy slobbering on Ryan’s cock….  You seem to have no trouble with his fat pud.  Most faggots struggle with throating him.

“Oh fuck here goes TJ!...  Damn!  He really came hard.

“TJ!  Pull out so Ryan can take over. 

“Ryan, go in hard and don’t let up.  Get your nut quick then you and TJ can get out of here.  I want to spend some alone time with my birthday present. 

“Hey faggot, the cock filling your mouth in the video is plowing your cunt.  You are kinda getting it from both ends from the same dick….

“Ryan, you should see his face right now.  He’s not struggling like the others.  It appears that Wally McGrew’s son is a seasoned cum dump whore.  I take it that he’s loose?...  Typical.

“Faggot.  When a man, a real man, is going to fuck you, you need to provide a hole that will provide him pleasure.  So tighten up that cunt….  Well, that got a smile out of Ryan….  He’s picking up his pile driving.  Hear that?  That’s the sound of a two hundred fifty-pound man grunting as he’s slamming into your loose cunt.  No better sound in the world.

“Shoot!  Shoot!  Flood this faggot’s guts….  Atta boy!  Fuck yeah.

“Faggot, clamp down as Ryan pulls out.  I want your cunt full of spunk.  Ryan is known for two things, his big dick and his huge loads….

“What’s that Ryan?...  Finish watching the video?  OK.  And I want to be alone with the faggot.  Plug up the faggot’s cunt, then go wait for me in TJ’s house.  Don’t get dressed, and don’t wipe your cock.  The fag will suck clean whatever dried slime flakes remain on it in a bit.  Now go. 

“…So here we are faggot, just you and me.  I have to admit, I was truly surprised.  Not that Ryan snagged Wallace McGrew’s son as my birthday present, although that did surprise me a little.  No, what shocked me is that Wally’s son has experience, lots of it, as a slave. 

“From the scars on your ass and back to your worked over nips, to the fact that you didn’t even flinch when Ryan shoved his beer can cock into your cunt, and to the compliance I saw as they were resecuring your bonds, I can tell you have done this before.  It’s more than that.  The look of ecstasy on your face as this was going on, wasn’t a look of ‘this-feels-so-good,’ but rather one of being in a submissive headspace.  I can tell that no matter what I do to you, what pain I will cause, you are suffering for my desires, and it naturally centers your mind.

“Am I right?  Nod yes or no….  Yeah, I see you.  You are clear to me.  I knew you weren’t a pain pig—a fag that is into receiving pain for pain sake.  Pain pigs bore me beyond the first few minutes I’m with them.  Yeah, if I need to get off, they serve their function.  But you need to connect on a much deeper level, craving to offer your pain and suffering for a higher purpose.

“You understand what I am saying.  Knowing that I—a naturally superior man—am getting my primal needs met by your service,… your submission,… your sacrifice,… and your suffering is all the motivation you need to continue.  You don’t want the pain, but knowing it’s getting me to leak, makes you want it more.  It may be confusing to many, but to you it makes all the sense in the world. 

“I’m always looking for a faggot with this mindset.  I have found a few in my time, never would have guessed that Wally’s boy would be one of them.

“Let me take my cock out….  Look down.  I am rock hard and leaking.  And I see you are too.  So it is safe to say that even though we never really met before, I know you.  I really know you.

“Let me ask you faggot, you want to serve me?...

“Submit to me?...

“Sacrifice for me?...

“Suffer for me?...

“Good.  Faggots like you are hard to find.  I thought Ryan was one when I met him eleven years ago.  It was clear that he did not have that mindset.  But he connected with me so well on so many other things, that we developed into something else. 

“He still serves me and helps me satisfy my cruel sadistic side.  He’s definitely my beta boy.  That’s what’s his groove is.  He likes to bring me objects like yourself so that I can enjoy the way I want to, that I need to.

“Hell, he’s the one who set up this birthday tradition of offering faggots like you.  He goes to Denver, and he takes his time to find the victim.  When my day arrives, I make the trek here to PJ’s ranch outside the city for the reveal.

“He doesn’t go into much detail with me because it’s my birthday present after all.  But I do know that this is a long process for him.  And I have to say the slave cunts he offers me has been perfect, yourself included.

“The one thing that he does with each faggot he offers is to make a video of the fag willingly sucking him off to completion.  He told me that he uses the fag’s phone to record it leading the fag to agree to the filming.  And he always manages to send himself a copy for me to view later.

“Like this video of you expertly throating Ryan’s mammoth cock.  You are a true world class cocksucker. 

“These videos are great.  They provide the motivation for the faggot’s entire time here.  Oh, I forgot to mention, every birthday present is closeted, just like yourself.  If the faggot does not perform to my satisfaction at any time, that video is sent off to where it will have the biggest impact: boss, wife, girlfriend, or—in your case—dad.

“Yes, the intention was to coerce you into submitting to me.  But that all changed in the few minutes when I recognized your true nature.  I don’t feel like coercion is possible; your hunger has been visible all this time.

“But don’t worry.  I will be outing you to your dad.  There is no way in hell that I am not going to pass up that opportunity.  Regardless of whether you make my cut, he’s going to receive a video.

“A word of caution: don’t even think of begging me not to.  Begging is a form of selfishness, and I do not deal with selfish slaves, faggots, or cunts.  You understand?

“No don’t try to say ‘Yes Sir’ around a gag.  The primary reason why I gag faggots like you is that I don’t want to hear the shit that comes out of your mouth. 

“A sharp nod ‘Yes’ is all that’s needed.  It needs to be a quick down then up, and it’s in that order.  Show me….  Good.  Remember that.  A sharp ‘No’ shake would be used in the rare occasion I allow a ‘No’ from you.  If your head is secured, then nod with your eyes.  If you are blindfolded, fuck it, I don’t need to hear from you.

“You will be staying with me for the weekend.  I can see your mind is where it needs to be.  I will be testing out your body’s response.  You will be filmed doing some extreme kink.  I’ll figure what I will use to show your dad.  The ability to fuck over Wally McGrew is the best birthday present I could get.

“Did you know he outed me to the whole town once he caught me plowing one of his farm hands?  That cost me a lot of business.  The worst part was his smug demeanor he had about town; being all righteous looking down at me.  Now I get to tell him his son is a piss drinking, sperm farting, ass eating, cum dump faggot.  It won’t be just him, our little town will know. 

“Oh I got it.  I will show your video to Dwight Smith the barber.  You dad goes in once a week on Thursday for a beard trim like clockwork.  I’ll make sure to be showing Dwight as your dad comes in.  Fuck yeah. 

“This will happen.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, will prevent me from outing you.

“I’m so fucking horny now.  First things first, let me unsecure you.  I want you to stand in the center.  Don’t try to run.  I don’t believe for one bit you are going to try to bail, but one thing I have learned over the years is never—and I mean never—trust a faggot slave.  And I don’t you.  Trust is something earned over a long time serving. 

“You have no shoes, and there’s lots of rocks on the ground; you won’t get very far.  Besides, these ankle and wrist cuffs that are padlocked on you have a tracking device.  So does that shock collar locked around your neck.

“Get over here and help me take my boots off….  That brought a smile to your face.  Just set them aside.  I’m going back in them once I take off my jeans and boxers.  Here, smell my foot.  Inhale deeply.  Better than any poppers out there.  Now my pants. 

“I see you eyeing my bulge.  Faggot, that is the center of your world from now on.  Go on and touch it; I know you want to.  But only briefly.  Now pull down my boxers.  Look at my cock.  It’s not as thick as Ryan’s, but mine is a bit longer.  It stays hard longer, and I can cum multiple times.

“Sniff my shorts, especially the tiny skid mark.  You are going to intimately know my shithole going forward.  Now help me put my boots back on….

“…Don’t worry, your tongue will be exploring my boots later.  But now, hand me my belt from my jeans.  Good.  Now go stand in the middle over there.

“Raise both arms above your head.  Keep them up there.  Today is my 65th birthday.  It is a birthday tradition that there needs to be birthday beatings.  Spankings are so pointless.  A good ol’ fashioned ass lickin’ is more in line with what is needed.  And there is no way that my ass is going to receive an ass lickin’ of any type other than with your tongue.  So that means you are the one who will be on the receiving end of said beatings.  65 of them.  I want you to count.  Make sure those numbers are clearly announced around that gag.

“I would ask if you were ready, but your dick is leaking harder than I have seen it before.  Look at my cock.  It too is leaking.  We are both ready to do this.  Let’s get some active welts going. 

“Now don’t fucking move from that spot.  No matter what I do to you, remain there. 

“One!  Holy shit!  That one was perfect across your ass.  You will learn, I don’t ramp up my intensity.  The first is as cruel as the last.  But this one landed perfectly across both cheeks.  Oh fuck, I already broke skin. 

“Cry all you need to boy.  I’ve only just begun.  Oh look!  There’s some blood.  Fuck yeah.  “And know this faggot, you are making me one happy man.”

[roses-r-rosie3]

Annoying Customer

Wally West x M!Reader

Warnings: Crack, swearing, platonic relationship (but it could be romantic if you want🤷‍♂️)

Summary: The same guy always pulls up to the reader’s work place, order’s the same thing, and says the same thing each time he pulls, to the point where the reader immediately knows who it’s is, and his name was Wally West

A/n: This is also based off of something I found off of TikTok😭

F/f/n: Fast Food Name

Summary: “YES. YES. YES. A DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER WITH EXTRA BBQ SAUCE WITH THREE TENDERS, TWO RANCH, AND TWO BBQ SAUCES, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME WALLACE RUDOLPH WEST”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Welcome to f/f/n how may I help you” you asked.

“YERRR” the customer yelled out.

You immediately knew who this was, Wally fucking West. He always came to the same place, same time, said the same thing, and ordered the same thing every single day.

“Oh my gosh..” you sighed.

“It’s gonna be 12.78” you stated.

“Wait what happened” Wally said confusingly.

“12.78” you replied.

“I didn’t even order yet” Wally said.

“12.78 pull. To. The. Window” you said, making sure to punctuate out each and every word.

“Well- um! Lemme get uh- a double western bacon chee-”

“YES. YES. YES. A DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER WITH EXTRA BBQ SAUCE WITH THREE TENDERS, TWO RANCH, AND TWO BBQ SAUCES, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME WALLACE RUDOLPH WEST” you screamed.

“Well damn baby, how did you know it was me?” Wally asked.

“YOU’RE THE ONLY CUSTOMER IN MY DRIVE THRU SAYING “YERR” AT 2:55PM AND I CAN SMELL YOUR CHEAP ASS COLOGNE” you shouted.

Wally started cracking up a bit, but then he got a bright idea.

“I’m sorry, you need a raise, but yeah, let me get that and uh… and a chocolate shake! Yeah! Let me get a chocolate shake! Did you know I wanted a chocolate shake since you know everything? And add a-”

“WALLACE IF YOU DON’T PULL YOUR ASS AND STOP PLAYING WITH ME! I JUST CLOCKED IN! AND YOU’RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT! YOU DON’T DRINK MILK YOU DUMB ASS! FUCK! 12.78 PULL. UP. TO. THE. WINDOW” you yelled.

Bonus:

Wally had secretly recorded the whole thing and showed Dick while laughing his ass off.

“Was that really necessary Wally? That guy seems stressed out, and how does he know that you’re lactose intolerant?” Dick asked.

“Don’t worry about that! Just watch the video! It gets better!” Wally laughed.

[billyburned]

Since some people want to be unoriginal and steal MY ideas, I decided to write another banger.

BILLYS REVENGE

Billy is sitting in his mansion, having sex with A WOMAN. Not a man. A WOMAN. No dildos in sight, and no fingers go up his ass. Not once.

Billy scoffs as he hears his phone ding. He pulls his giant cock out of her dripping wet pussy. It kinda takes a while because he’s so long.

He sees a notification from Wallace.

“Why is this Fugly old man reblogging MY posts. The absolute nerve of this family.”

To the girls utter dismay, billy throws her out of the window. It was very cool and it happened in slow motion, which was so awesome.

Billy goes to his cabinet and pulls a lever down. It takes him into A BAT CAVE.

(Billy is batman for those of you who aren’t aware.)

He suits up, getting bombs and guns and really awesome machinery. He stomps over to the danforth mansion AND ABSOFUCKINLUTELY OBLIERTATES THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

Derek runs out ceyinf, in his tighty whities. His dick is on fire, but it goes out immediately bc there’s nothing there. Derek is a ken doll, owning completely nothing under his pants.

Wallace comes out next and dies IMMEDIATELY. He coughs and flops around and it’s actually really embarrassing.

Also, I forgot to add, Michael is also in the building using a cactus as a dildo bc he’s so gay and weird. Mike dies BTW.

Billy sends one more bomb into the building and turns around and walks away in slow motion as walls of fire burst up behind him.

The end.

[ghost-in-the-corner]

So several thoughts about the Nightwing #105 Pride Variant Cover (art by Nick Robles):

Tim

Tim why are you exploiting your big brother's ass for TikTok views

Babs put it best

Who in their right mind painted the gym pink

Wallace West for the love of God-

'Robb1nHearts' is a cute username but honey you can petition TikTok for the @ if it's your own name/brand (Karen Gillian did it)

What's on the front of Dick's crop top

We love supportive bf Bernard

I agree with Jackson what is Nightwing's max

This better be Dick's coming out issue cause there is no way that man is straight

Did Tim straight up ask Dick to work out in his domino so he could film a TikTok of him flexing that is so Gen Z of him

I love that all the current Nightwing comics reference that perfect peach he's got

[triviallytrue]

I'm moving different. This shit ain't nothing to me man. I'm a dog. I'm biting the fart bubbles in the bath. We smoking symbiotes. Smoking that Whoopi Goldberg South Egyptian Furburger Deluxe Mega Million Scratcher Skunk Bubba Kush. We smoking dung beetle. I'm on twelve Vicodins smoking on Scooby Doo dick. We smoking Sequoia banshee boogers? We snorting that good buffalo soldier tamarind Jordanian Jibbies. They must have amnesia, they forgot that I'm Him. That Burberry backwoods pack kitten that pussy smell, like a Hellcat VH. We smoking shit in a glass pipe blowing the Lord's bubbles. I'm sick in the head. I'm on them Broward County tic tacs. I'm on them Georgetown geronimos. I'm on them Nashville nibblers. I left my Margielas in the Benz truck, I'll have to stunt on them next time. I don't give a fuck if I go blind. I don't need to see the price tag anyway. We s- I'm high on twelve Jason Bournes looking to beat the cum out of a thick fresh hoe. We smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit. I'll fucking kill you. Call that pussy The Matrix cuz I'm in this bitch, and I can't get out. Last guy who ran off on the pack got choked out by some Givenchy gloves. The last thing he ever saw was the price tag on them. Slowly faded into darkness, and I let the archangels take him. I need more Sequoia banshee boogers! Don't be shy girl, I love me some, pastrami mud flaps. I'm moving like French Montana. Hæh? Welcome to the cream kingdom bitch, open up! Blac Chyna, I drink her piss out of another man's balls. My shooter a crackhead, he look like Woody Herrelson. You ain't seen ten bands in your life, chit! Reach for my neck you'll get turned into an example. Y'all gotta stop playing with me man. I threw diamonds at the strip clubs under the Great Pyramids. I pushed a camel through the eye of a needle. This shit ain't nothing to me man. Tied the opps to the back of a track hog. And dragged him around the block for twenty four hours. Motherfucker! Looked like a Resident Evil 5 campaign extra after we was done with him. Opps wanted some initiative, blew up their entire quadrant. I'm moving like Oppenheimer. She drop that ass on me from an egregarious angle, they thought I was Steven Wallace. Top shelf zaza, disrupted my circadian rhythm. I have seen the Magna Carta, I have seen the eye of Horuh. I was flipping bricks for Mansa Musa before you all even became a type 1 civilization. This shit ain't nothing to me you stupid piece of shit. Step the wrong way and you will perish. That pussy feel like Biscoff butter. You think I care about this shit? Ask me if I care about this shit, cuz I don't give a shit. If I had a dollar for every time they said I gave a shit, I'd be broke, cuz I don't give a shit. My bitch look like David Hasselhoff. I balled so hard they thought I was a fucking nutsack. This shit ain't nothing to me man I'll kill you you stupid piece of shit

dracula flow is the spiritual complement to the northern boys

[claredanko]

I’m moving different

This shit ain’t nothing to me man, I’m a dog. I’m biting the fart bubbles in the bath

We smoking Symbiote

Smoking that Whoopi Goldberg South Egyptian fur burger Deluxe Mega Millions scratcher skunk bubba kush

We smoking dung beetle

I’m on 12 vicodins, smoking on Scooby-Doo dick

We smoking Sequoia banshee boogers

We snorting that good Buffalo Soldier tamarind Jordanian gibbies

They must have amnesia, they forgot that I’m him. That Burberry backwoods pack hitting that pussy smell like a Hellcat V8

We smoking shit in a glass pipe, blowing the Lord’s bubbles

I’m sick in the head

I’m on them Broward county Tic-Tacs, I’m on them Georgetown Geronimoes

I’m on them Nashville nibblers

I left my Margiela’s in the Benz trunk, I’ll have to stunt on them next time

I don’t give a fuck if I go blind, I don’t need to see the price tag anyways

I’m high on 12 Jason Bournes, looking to beat the cum out of a thick, fresh oak

We smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit, I’ll fucking kill you

Call that pussy The Matrix, cause I’m in this bitch and I can’t get out

Last guy who ran off on the pack got choked out by some Givenchy gloves. The last thing he ever saw was the price tag on them. Slowly faded into darkness, and I let the archangels take him. I need more Sequoia banshee boogers

Don’t be shy girl, I love me some Pastrami mudflaps

I’m moving like French Montana: haan

Welcome to the Cream Kingdom bitch, open up. Blac Chyna, I’d drink her piss out of another man’s balls

My shooter a crackhead, he look like Woody Harrelson

You ain't seen ten bands in your life, jit

Reach for my neck, you'll get turned into an example

Y'all gotta stop playing with me man

I threw diamonds at the strip clubs under the great pyramids. I pushed a camel through the eye of a needle. This shit ain't nothing to me man

Tied the opps to the back of a Trackhawk and dragged them around the block for 24 hours

Motherfucker look like a Resident Evil 5 campaign extra after we was done with him

Opps wanted some initiative, blew up their entire quadrant

I'm moving like Oppenheimer

She dropped that ass on me from an egregarious angle, they thought I was Stephen Wallace

Top shelf zaza, disrupted my circadian rhythm

I have seen the Magna Carta, I have the seen the eye of hor

I was flipping bricks for Mansa Musa before y'all even became a type I civilization

This shit ain't nothing to me you stupid piece of shit

Step the wrong way and you will perish

That pussy feel like Biscoff Butter

You think I care about this shit? Ask me if I care about this shit, cause I don't give a shit

If I had a dollar for every time they said I gave a shit, I'd be broke cause I don't give a shit

My bitch look like David Hasselhoff

I balled so hard they thought I was a fucking nutsack

This shit ain't nothing to me man, I'll kill you, you stupid piece of shit

[secondgenerationnerd]

Little fic or headcannons of how much lian and roy are alike please and thank you

Oooooo imma do a fic! Someone mentioned this again and I’ve been thinking about it!

———————

When possible, the parents of Omega Squad like to get together for a ‘normal day’ with their kids. Well, as normal as their lives got. They rotated who hosted and who provided what food. Their kids enjoyed spending time with their parents….likely because some of them acted like they weren’t grown ass adults with teenage children.

“Is Jade on her way?” Linda asks Roy, swatting her husband’s hand away from the cake.

Roy nods, grinning at her phone, “Yeah, she is. Li’s been antsy all day about it. Not that she’d let me see it.”

Dick fakes a gasp, “A Harper avoiding showing their feelings? Say it isn’t so, Wallace!”

“I’m afraid it’s true, Richard.” Wally says solemnly, “When will they ever understand that being ‘too cool to care’ just keeps them apart from those who love them?”

“Hey, Bianca?” Roy calls to the beautiful woman chatting with Lois and Selina, “If I kill them, do you have to report it? Are you obligated to revive them or….?”

She glances at Dick and Wally, then back at Roy, “I’d revive one of them. Let the kids pick which one.”

Laughter fills the room as the teenagers get back from their ‘mission’ to the store. Several speedsters, two half aliens, plus growing teens means they need all the food they can get.

“Oh dear.” Jai sighs, “I think they finally lost it. I thought we had at least another week for Dad.”

“Don’t be an ass, dude,” Jon snorts, kissing his mother’s cheek as he carries most the grocery bags. “If anyone gets dementia first, it’ll be Bruce—“

More laughs and a faux glare from the Bat himself. Roy sees his daughter staring at him, “Yes, Lian Alice?”

“Ugh, you and Mom had to go with Alice for my middle name.” She rolls her eyes. “I sound like a Bridgerton character.”

“It’s a very respectable name for a little demon.” Roy says cheerfully, kissing her temple, “You can air your grievances to your mom in twenty minutes.”

To anyone who didn’t know her, the eye roll she gives her father would be disrespectful. But every adult in the room knows how anxious the topic of her mother is. It’s a simple way for her father to answer the question gnawing at her without her having to ask. Of course, her friends and boyfriend would never dare let her worry on it….even if she ‘doesn’t care’.

“Hey, Roja, did you ever try on that shirt I made?” Milagro asks, leaning against her father’s side on the couch.

“Aw fuck, I forgot, I’ll go try it on now.” She bats her eyes at Jai, teasing, “Any chance you want to help me change?”

“Jai Bartholomew,” Roy doesn’t turn back from where he’s putting the groceries away, “Make one move up those stairs and Irey becomes an only child.”

“I was going to say no, Uncle Roy, promise!” Not a single person believes the speedster with that mischievous look on his face. A few minutes after Lian disappears to her room, Roy notices how Dick and Wally look at him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. Just funny how you seem to forget where here shamelessness comes from. “If anyone else said that about his kid, Roy would kill them. But from Dick, he takes it as the teasing it is.

“Isn’t the point of parenthood making your kids better than you?”

Wally snorts at that, “Just yesterday you said ‘as long as she doesn’t do crack, murder is a cake walk.’”

“And I’ll die on that hill, thank you, Wallace.” Roy says, rolling his eyes. “Besides, I’m not shameless.”

“Right,” Dick nods, “Remind me how old Lian was when she said she knew you and Jaybird were together?”

“That depends, Uncle Dick,” Lian appears down the stairs, “How old I was when I told them? Or when I knew?”

The shirt she’d changed into is made of a sheer, deep red material. The sleeveless cut shows off her muscular back and arms. A black band of fabric hugs her breasts, a contrast against the exposed skin. Flip her long dark ponytail, Lian holds out her arms.

“I accept compliments but prefer cash.”

“Red really is your color,” Milagro says with a laugh, getting up to check the fit of the shirt. “Not too snug anywhere?”

“Not really, but if you want to check, my safe word is ‘French toast’.”

“Lian!” Roy meant to chide his daughter, but it came out as a laugh. How many times had he said the same thing to people in this room? Milagro does tug at the fabric, holding it at different lengths to see how they look. Several old scars poke out from the top, but most of them haven’t seen that burn in the center of her back before.

“What’s that, Chiquita?” Bianca asks, motioning at an old burn on her back.

“Hmm?” Lian looks over her shoulder, “Oh! Dad, isn’t that the brand from the human traffickers?”

The room goes quiet. The kids look intrigued at the new lore while the adults seem horrified. Roy glances at it. “Oh yeah. You were little bitty when it happened. I’m shocked they didn’t let you go when you called them pussies.”

“Excuse you, old man? I was a delightful child!” She scoffs, “Easily worth a few thousand.”

Were they really joking about this? Holy shit they were. Trust the Harper’s to come in with dark humor.

“Maybe nowadays, but then? You’d have settled for a sandwich and a nap.”

“Um,” Bianca blinks at the pair, “What happened?”

“Oh some jackasses kidnapped her. They were going to sell her to some creeps I’m sure, branded her to ‘keep track of merchandise’ blah blah blah.” Roy sips his soda.

It’s Lois who asks the next question, “And when you arrived?”

Oh that smile on his. Omega has seen it on Lian so many times. It’s not the Chesire cat grin she has during a fight. It’s an easy, almost laidback smile that could put anyone at ease….if the look in his eyes wasn’t murderous.

“When I left,” Roy says, ignoring the specifics of her question, “They were still breathing. I can’t say for sure if they were when my wife left.”

[castortheghost]

WOOO OKAY! MORE IN DEPTH THOUGHTS ON SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF LETS GO! SPOILERS ARE ABOUND SO BE AWARE!

I loved the exes kinda being like siblings? Like all together and with Scott, they were so supportive it was so cute I loved it, I always kind of headcanoned it like most people did I think but it was so nice to see it confirmed

The Todd and Wallace romance arc. No words just that. The fucking Wallace tattoo took me out he is so down bad.

My friend and I decided Stephen Stills and Knives had an older brother and little sister dynamic I will NOT take criticism, you guys saw that scene of her jumping up and down with excitement, you know what I mean. Found siblings are so real.

Mark Webber as Stephen Stills is so perfect I'm sorry I just. I love him so much.

Stephen yelling "I'm afraid of change!" or something like that was so real to me, he is just like me fr.

Lucas Lee and his tits and ass.

The villain of Scott Pilgrim always being himself (ex: Nega Scott and Old/Future Scott)

Gordon Goose sounding like Golden Goose, that was probably intentional ngl.

My only real beef is that there wasn't any Joseph and Stephen Stills, like c'mon man, I loved the Todd and Wallace arc but please, I needed Stephen getting his dick sucked off screen.

Roxie and Ramona's fight, I really liked how they didn't play Roman's bisexuality off as a joke like in the comics and movie.

Honestly Julie and Gideon are a match made in heaven, they both suck so much.

Lucas and Gideon friendship was great, my friend and I almost thought we clicked on the wrong episode on the pirating website when the episode began.

[angiepants]

I somehow found myself looking at pictures from the two Cup races at Road America the other night, and I'm still fucking fuming over the world-class screwjob NASCAR gave the track and the fans. This is what they threw away:

one of the most prestigious tracks in the world

drew over 100k people for each Cup race

the fan experience is second-to-none

it's in Wisconsin, probably second only to North Carolina when it comes to stock car racing but somehow snubbed by the Cup series for nearly 70 years, despite producing game-changing, legendary racers from to Dick Trickle and Dave Marcis to Alan Kulwicki and Matt Kenseth; and being crucial to the careers of guys like Mark Martin and Rusty Wallace

it's affordable ($140 for the weekend pass in 2022, kids under 16 get in free, all kinds of camping and accommodations allowed, free parking, outside food allowed), especially when compared to the Chicago street race it was dumped for (GA starts at $269…)

it was likely the only time my broke, disabled ass could have afforded to go to a race

it's beautiful

and the drivers loved it:

"I miss going to Road America. That's a beautiful area. A track with a lot of history. The fans were always great there as well. So yes, I do miss going there." - Kyle Larson 

"I love Road America. The fans there are awesome, they really, really love racing in general, and it's super deserving of a Cup date, I think. It's a beautiful track, a massive racetrack that always puts on a really good show. I look forward to going there again... because the track is so great and the people up there love racing." - Ryan Blaney 

"Road America is a great track. The fan turnout last year was amazing. It’s a huge track and there were people all over the place, so it really had a great atmosphere. I’m looking forward to going back this weekend. " - Denny Hamlin

“I was super nervous leaving Daytona for our July 4th race, for NASCAR that's been a tradition that's been in place for many years... I had a lot of emotional ties to that [race]… Man, we came up here last year and I was blown away, I really was. The people are nice, it's a beautiful area, people are outside and enjoying the racetrack, and I felt like they couldn't have received us better, trying to start a new tradition somewhere. … I feel like it's been a really nice fit for us and the people around here have accepted us with open arms.” - Chase Elliott

"What better place than Road America? I love the fans. I love this racetrack. Being here on 4th of July weekend is just so special." - Tyler Reddick 

“I think this is a special racetrack to any racer, you know, you hear guys like Mario Andretti talk about it being the most complete racetrack in the world. The fans that come out to this place… it’s such a great atmosphere, such a great family atmosphere. It makes you wanna do it even more, as a driver.” - Austin Cindric

“Road America has always been one of my favorite racetracks in anything I’ve driven over my career there. … I love the crowd there, the Wisconsin race fans, they pack that place in.” - AJ Allmendinger

“Road America, I can’t say it enough–it’s such a nice facility. It’s like you go to a state park and there’s a racetrack there, it’s so beautiful. The fans are always awesome every time we go, and from a racetrack standpoint I think it’s really one of the best road courses in the country in my opinion. It just has so many different elements… It really has everything you look for in a road course.” - Chase Briscoe

“I think more than anything that the fans in Wisconsin deserve a race up there, and they come out in droves. It’s a fun atmosphere in that area.” - Austin Dillon

“Clearly the fans were hungry for this kind of race. It’s a great weekend to have it. Being Independence weekend, it feels like we might’ve found a new home for Fourth of July.” - Brad Keselowski

“Road America was amazing and I’m missing that.” - Alex Bowman

"Road America is arguably one of the most beautiful race tracks we go to, as well as one of the biggest fan bases we go to, one of the most passionate fan bases we go to, just a great facility.” - Justin Allgaier

“You know, I really enjoyed going up to Road America. I think the fan support of that race in general was incredible and I’m excited that we get to go back this year.” - Martin Truex Jr.

“It’s been amazing. I think the first time by I used a few expletives describing just how awesome the experience was coming around at speed. … This track has been on my wishlist since I was a young kid watching racing, and to finally be here is really special.” - Jimmie Johnson

"I’ve never heard a bad thing about Road America. You hear so many great stories about people racing here and doing things here and how great the race track was." - Kevin Harvick

“From a driver's perspective, there's not a racetrack we go to that's more fun.” - Regan Smith

"It was fun. I really enjoyed Road America and just the whole challenge of running here ... I really enjoyed coming up here today and the Wisconsin people were great. … The fans here were just ecstatic that the Cup Series was here. It was a lot of fun." - Kurt Busch

Even Dale Jr.

“Daytona Beach was the tradition for July 4th. … You know me, man, I hate changes in NASCAR. … I’ll be honest, man. [Road America] was awesome. It really was. It was awesome! … We rode around [the track] in a rental car… and that’s when you can really pick up on just how many people are there, how much camping is there, this place is beautiful. You would go and enjoy that experience even if there wasn’t a racetrack! … So I’m sold, man. Road America was – I was a bit taken aback by it. … That part of the country, they are passionate about motorsports. I was impressed. I think it’s a great place, sign a ten year agreement. Let’s go.” – Dale Earnhardt Jr.

[breyito]

Batfamily Introduction- Matt Reeves universe

So...this is how I'd go about assembling the Batfamily in Reeves verse. I have (at least the movies about Jason) completely developed in my brain, but well, writing the scripts is a whole other issue. I could, but 2k fics are too much for me at the moment, so I thought I'd share this with the world, free some space in my brain, so to speak. Praying that someone out there, that has the actual pull to make this happen, reads this and maybe uses it a little. Mainly about Jason, because my poor boy deserves better, and an live action portrayal that is accurate and true to character, instead of the constant angst trainreck that is his life in the comics, for some reason.

The more detailed an idea is, the more doubts I have about it, idk. Dick's is less developed since pretty much everyone is familiar with him, so I kinda skipped him, sorry. And Damian...well, I don't know enough about him to write him much more than he is, and tbh, I'd like to do something with him and Jon more than anything else.

Here it goes!!! (Also, I'm just a fan, so please don't hate on this, yeah? If you don't like it, move on.)

Batman: Gravity / Gravitas/ Gravitational Pull

(Dick's origin story as Robin movie, Zucco,  Selina helps, Ace shows up, Zucco almost dies but D!R decides not to, little scenes with Batgirl (?),etc)

      •Robin the first*: Dick's solo movie when he's older, establishing the Titans (Babs, Roy, Donna, Joey(?)), Deathstroke as antagonist(?). He ends the movie as Nightwing (?).

Batman: Mind Games

(Jason as Robin origin story, Jason steals the Batmobile tires, B sends him to a home. Mad Hatter/ Dollmaker is buying kids from Ma Gunn's and Jay helps B & Gordon realize this and to put a stop to it, B ends up kidnapped and Nightwing isn't answering Agent A and Batgirl is holed up in the precinct with Gordon; so Jay dresses up as Robin and goes to try and stop the freak. He trips the rogue with his marbles and knocks him out, waiting until Batgirl/Nightwing come to free the hostages from the tech, keeping the conscious kids calm. Dick is surprised about Jay but not a dick about it. Bruce offers to adopt Jay, and says it's not necessary to be Robin too, but Dick Is all "unless you want to, little wing! I'm gonna teach you all the *best* moves B is too old to do!" Sue me, I want one happy Batfamily, ok? Ok).

      •Robin the second*: Jason's solo movie, Kid Devil Pen pal, Kyle(?), Rose(?), Gar(?) or the Titans say he's too little?; Catwoman/Ivy/Nocturna as mentors/aunts? Heist movie. Professor Pig/Toymaker as antagonist? He ends up saving the Titans/Batman despite the doubts about him.

Batman: "A death in the family"/[?]

(Garzonas/child trafficking ring; they butt heads about 'procedure' and 'too much violence'; Barbara is paralyzed; Jay looks for Haywood, she sells him out to Joker, Jason dies. A few months later, B gets called to deal with Flashpoint and finds out Flash is the reason Jay died ("Allen, you killed my son? You killed my SON!" "I'm sorry- Bruce, I'm-" "Effective immediately, Allen's tenure in the Justice League is terminated. Central City will be relegated to Wallace, if he's ready to take on the name." "Bruce!" "If he can not use his powers responsibly, he can not be trusted with them. Unless you want me to give you an antidote." "...you don't have one." "Are you willing to try me?" post-credit scene. Jay's hand breaking the ground of his grave post-post credit scene)

Batman: [?]/Bane of the City

(Tim as Robin Origin story. Broken back, Dick as Batman for a little while, they defeat Bane, Bruce heals a little bit, Barbara remakes herself as Oracle and saves their asses at a crucial moment, etc. Jason is alive and with the LoA, baby!Damián? post-credit scene.)

    •Robin the third*: Tim's solo movie, he finds Connor and goes against Lex? + Cassie and Bart, of course. Steph is introduced at the end (iconic brick-in-the-face moment).

Batman: Under the Red Hood/[?]

(RH takes over the Alley in a couple of weeks; steals the kryptonite and ruins deals for Black Mask; kills the leutenants of the mobs and gains control over them, etc. ("B, this guys is not out of control." "Dick?" "I'd say this guy is completely in control. Look at these! He hasn't killed a single innocent. Every one of these men and woman have charges for murder, rape, abuse, child pornography or molestation, human trafficking... and all of them got away with it or got the minimal sentence or had the charges dropped or the witnesses killed. They weren't casualities, they were targeted." "It doesn't matter, he's still killing people." "Yeah, bad people! The worst society has to offer." "Dick..." "Bruce, we have bigger problems than a man that keeps the civilians out of things, the children protected and only takes his rage on the worst of humanity.") Jason still attacks Tim at TT, but only to keep him out of the final confrontation -broken wrist, ankle and bruised ribs- ("No more dead Robins" is written in Jason's blood on the wall). Jason as RH reveal; B accepts Jay killing Joker -he turns around and gives him permission- but the damn clown blows up the building before he can and scapes even after RH shoots him a few times. Jason collapses in Bruce's arms, sobbing, terrified. B asks Jay to comes home and he does, to a heartfelt reunion. Jason apologizes to Tim, giving him the R he cut off the Robin suit in the case instead of the one he took in the Tower. Damian's existence bomb drop post-credit scene. One big happy Batfamily, see?).

    •Robin the fourth*: Steph's solo movie. She starts the movie as Spoiler, ends the movie as Robin but dead. Steph tries to stop her dad, meets R!Tim, they fall in love somewhere in the middle. R!Tim wants her as part of the Titans, she refuses cuz her mom doesn't know about Spoiler and she wants to stay in Gotham due to Cluemaster. Jack Drake forces Tim to give up Robin (Steph finds out his identity due to him screaming threats to Bruce) and Bruce offers R to her a few days later, she agrees. Tim doesn't like ir, but Steph is Tim's only contact with the Batfam, so he's ok-ish with it. Cluemaster realizes his daughter is Spoiler/the new Robin and sells the info to Sionis, hoping he'll get him out of prison (he thinks Black Mask will use it to find out who Batman is, not torture her to death, but still). B&Steph butt heads, some "you're too much like Jason" comments/classism thrown her way (Jason is in the LoA trying to convince Talia to give up Damian to B, btw) She starts a war between two gangs to stop them destroying her block/neighborhood's business and homes. BM kidnaps her then, and tries to torture the info of Batman and Red Hood (his bitter enemy) out of her. She holds out until N&B&RH rescue her, but too late. She "dies" then ("was I a good Robin?" "you were a great Robin"). (Post-credit scene is her waking up gasping in a hospital bed, her window shows a Savanna.)

Batman: Blood Son/ Blood Feud

(Damian gets to Gotham to witness the end tail of the gang war after Steph's death. Tim is back in the Manor, back as Robin (he put on the suit to stop the war and BM; since Jack is in a coma he doesn't care anymore), working with B & N & RH to clean things up. R almost kills BM by beating him, so RH puts a blade to the guy's throat and says he will kill him if Tim says the word. Tim, in the end, says no. RH then cuts through BM's spinal cord, leaving him paralyzed. ("As a compromise" he grins savagely at Batman, winking.) Damian tries to off Tim the moment they meet, but Tim is very on edge and puts him down quickly and brutally ("You want to be Robin, remplace Steph, with *those* skills? Ha! Give me a break/Pathetic.") Dick tries to explain how fragile Tim is at the moment, while Jason & Alfred try to make them bond by cooking together, and B makes them solve cold cases together (it turns into a competition, of course, but since it ends with Tim spending less Time on the field, B doesn't stop it). Jack dies after an attack at the hospital by Cap Boomerang; after the funeral he goes out as RR, to get revenge. Zsasz gets him first, since RR is out of it. Damian -who was following him, not worried- ends up saving Tim after Zsasz kidnaps him on BM's orders, as payback. He stalls Zsasz until the others get there and cuts off one of his arms while trying not to kill him. (I wanna add Killer Croc here somehow, he's hired but Damián either convinces him to leave or beats him by drugging him or something). While Tim is recovering in the hospital/cave he passes the R to him. (''You'll do a good job." "Tt, of course I will." "Just...maybe get a less sharp weapon?" "Because blunt force trauma is more elegant?" "Nop. It's usually less deadly, tho."))

The (*) means I have no idea for a tittle. I know I want it to be secuencial, like a series, because that's what they are lol.

[milfronin]

I’m moving different

This shit ain’t nothing to me man, I’m a dog. I’m biting the fart bubbles in the bath

We smoking Symbiote

Smoking that Whoopi Goldberg South Egyptian fur burger Deluxe Mega Millions scratcher skunk bubba kush

We smoking dung beetle

I’m on 12 vicodins, smoking on Scooby-Doo dick

We smoking Sequoia banshee boogers

We snorting that good Buffalo Soldier tamarind Jordanian gibbies

They must have amnesia, they forgot that I’m him. That Burberry backwoods pack hitting that pussy smell like a Hellcat V8

We smoking shit in a glass pipe, blowing the Lord’s bubbles

I’m sick in the head

I’m on them Broward county Tic-Tacs, I’m on them Georgetown Geronimoes

I’m on them Nashville nibblers

I left my Margiela’s in the Benz trunk, I’ll have to stunt on them next time

I don’t give a fuck if I go blind, I don’t need to see the price tag anyways

I’m high on 12 Jason Bournes, looking to beat the cum out of a thick, fresh oak

We smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit, I’ll fucking kill you

Call that pussy The Matrix, cause I’m in this bitch and I can’t get out

Last guy who ran off on the pack got choked out by some Givenchy gloves. The last thing he ever saw was the price tag on them. Slowly faded into darkness, and I let the archangels take him. I need more Sequoia banshee boogers

Don’t be shy girl, I love me some Pastrami mudflaps

I’m moving like French Montana: haan

Welcome to the Cream Kingdom bitch, open up. Blac Chyna, I’d drink her piss out of another man’s balls

My shooter a crackhead, he look like Woody Harrelson

You ain't seen ten bands in your life, jit

Reach for my neck, you'll get turned into an example

Y'all gotta stop playing with me man

I threw diamonds at the strip clubs under the great pyramids. I pushed a camel through the eye of a needle. This shit ain't nothing to me man

Tied the opps to the back of a Trackhawk and dragged them around the block for 24 hours

Motherfucker look like a Resident Evil 5 campaign extra after we was done with him

Opps wanted some initiative, blew up their entire quadrant

I'm moving like Oppenheimer

She dropped that ass on me from an egregarious angle, they thought I was Stephen Wallace

Top shelf zaza, disrupted my circadian rhythm

I have seen the Magna Carta, I have the seen the eye of horror

I was flipping bricks for Mansa Musa before y'all even became a type I civilization

This shit ain't nothing to me you stupid piece of shit

Step the wrong way and you will perish

That pussy feel like Biscoff Butter

You think I care about this shit? Ask me if I care about this shit, cause I don't give a shit

If I had a dollar for every time they said I gave a shit, I'd be broke cause I don't give a shit

My bitch look like David Hasselhoff

I balled so hard they thought I was a fucking nutsack

This shit ain't nothing to me man, I'll kill you, you stupid piece of shit

I'm gonna kiss you straight on the mouth.

[lodessa]

Doing a little season 3 rewatch of Veronica Mars to make sure things line up right in The Backup and oh boy . . .

So many of my lingering complaints immediately resurfaced there's also stuff I had forgotten about (and even some stuff that rewatching is like "oh, they were actually doing a thing") but here's a couple thoughts four episodes in:

The cast is still too jam packed, the years haven't changed my opinion on that, and it makes so many things seem forced or spread thin.

Some of this is things like spending all this time of Dick but (after an initial episode where it seemed like maybe he was going to have some actual character arc following what happened in season 2) just having him be the same old Dick. Some of it is trying so hard to make Piz matter or whatever. Some of it is no one's plotlines actually truly entertwining.

And you can definitely see the fanservicing rounding off of Logan's character happening, but hot damn I forgot I missed him. Like Rose Tyler of Doctor Who, the fannish monomania over the years has made me reflexively flinch from his very name but Logan is so damned compelling. He's so wounded and self loathing, messy, but also somehow still so tender. A victim of so much loss and abuse and he does fucked up shit and Veronica is right not to trust him sometimes, but he's also just such a damned woobie (I have not used that term in so long I almost forgot it) in the way that is so addictive (and destructive because the impulse is always ultimately to lose all the things that actually make that vulnerability interesting in the interests of saccharine perfection.

My boy, Weevil. I weep. I scream. I tear my hair. I dream of Mars, Mars, & Navarro Investigations. He's flawed and he's angry and he makes mistakes, but Eli Navarro is also so smart, dogged, insightful. He hates injustice, drugs, and abuse. He's crazy hyper competent. want someone to figure out the truth, fix the body of your car, get the AC working? He can do any of that with a facility you didn't ask for or expect. (Maybe don't have him take your phone calls though, at least not without some actual training.) And what does he really want? A chance. The opportunity to do something that matters. Someone to look at him and see something of value (because he sure doesn't right now).

Which really should have been the through line of this season and these characters. Logan is terrified of being his dad, of actually trying and failing at college, of being alone. Weevil is trying to keep his head down and get by, but it is humiliating and awful and he wants so much to prove he is more than that. Like both of them, Mac is afraid she's broken, that she can't move past what happened with Cassidy, that she doesn't know how to be close to anyone. Dick should be confronting the fact that what happened with his brother and dad did shake him and he's not impervious. Wallace's half assed plot line about struggling to maintain both school and basketball could have been so much more about the transition from high school and college and worrying that you aren't actually special or good enough. Even Keith is doubting his judgement, as a professional and as a father to a certain extent. And Veronica, Veronica is afraid that she can't move on: can't trust, can't hold on to friendships, can't move past her high school relationship. But I know that the show doesn't actually go there with any of these plotlines, so to speak. It doesn't have time to, nor does it want to.

[rashimen]

The bell to class rings ending another one of Jinx and Wally's daily bickering. The two were fighting in the middle of lunch, allowing everyone in the room to hear them spit each other's saliva at their faces. Everyone in the building has gotten used to their usual fights that it doesn't faze them as much anymore. If anything they've always thought there was something between them. An enemies to lovers trope they said! "Enemies to lovers my ass" they both replied to their friends when they broke off such rumors to them, a clear look of disgust on their faces.

They both disappointingly walked to their next class together sending each other glares as they earned a sigh from their friends that were following behind them. "You ever think they'll be friends?" "Never in a million years" Raven and Dick whisper as they, too, walk to potion class.

The moon was beginning to rise and everyone was already heading towards their dorms to get a good night's rest. Well, supposedly, until the loud arguing of Jinx and Wally echoed through the halls. But this wasn't far from normal, so as per usual everyone went on with their night and their nightly routine. Jinx and Wally bid each other goodbye with a last roll of their eyes and blow of a raspberry.

The moment everyone's lights had turned off, Wally had sneaked out of his room through his window and quickly rode his broom around the castle, trying to keep it as lowkey as possible. Jinx was simply lying down on her bed with her cat on her lap, stroking its fur in one hand and reading a book with the other. Humming a lullaby to lull the little creature to sleep. She then hears a sudden knock on her window. She groans along with her growing annoyance at the noise. She gently pushes off her kitten and heads towards the window, opening it gently to avoid any creaking noise and is greeted with a large figure, the absolute bane of her existence, riding on a broomstick.

"And just what exactly are you doing here Mr. Wallace Rudolph West?" Jinx asks with her arms crossed under her chest. "Nothing, just missing you" He flashes her that toothy grin she despises (adores) so much which only results in her scowl deepening by the second. The fellow gryffindor welcomes himself inside her dorm room as she shuts her window to avoid any witnesses. He then settles himself on her bed as her cat crawls towards him and lays itself right next to Wally. "Missing me? We saw each other just a few minutes ago" He pets her animal gently. Jinx wiped his bangs off his face and continued to play with his hair. "I always miss you" he stares at her with huge soft eyes, the kind that always melt her heart. "Shut up since when did you learn to be so corny" he giggles as she starts to rub his cheeks with the palm of her hands. "Ever since i fell in love with you" "You disgust me." "But you love me anyway" she sighs. They stared into each other's eyes as they sat in comfortable silence. "Should we tell them?" Wally proposes with his head lying on her shoulder. "No, it'll ruin the fun" he chuckles, they continued to chat as the night went on.

The next day, when they met in the halls once again, their daily bickering that their dearest friends could not get enough of starts again but when it was lunchtime and god knows whose decision it was to sit them next to each other, little did they know, two hands were intertwined under the table amidst all the fighting.

Creds to @carleypie for the hp knowledge🙏

[wokeuplaughing]

zoning out at work because I keep thinking about I'm moving different. This shit ain't nothing to me man. I'm a dog. I'm biting the fart bubbles in the bath. We smoking symbiotes. Smoking that Whoopi Goldberg South Egyptian Furburger Deluxe Mega Million Scratcher Skunk Bubba Kush. We smoking dung beetle. I'm on twelve Vicodins smoking on Scooby Doo dick. We smoking Sequoia banshee boogers? We snorting that good buffalo soldier tamarind Jordanian Jibbies. They must have amnesia, they forgot that I'm Him. That Burberry backwoods pack kitten that pussy smell, like a Hellcat VH. We smoking shit in a glass pipe blowing the Lord's bubbles. I'm sick in the head. I'm on them Broward County tic tacs. I'm on them Georgetown geronimos. I'm on them Nashville nibblers. I left my Margelas in the Benz truck, I'll have to stunt on them next time. I don't give a fuck if I go blind. I don't need to see the price tag anyway. We s- I'm high on twelve Jason Bournes looking to beat the cum out of a thick fresh hoe. We smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit. I'll fucking kill you. Call that pussy The Matrix cuz I'm in this bitch, and I can't get out. Last guy who ran off on the pack got choked out by some Givenchy gloves. The last thing he ever saw was the price tag on them. Slowly faded into darkness, and I let the archangels take him. I need more Sequoia banshee boogers! Don't be shy girl, I love me some, pastrami mud flaps. I'm moving like French Montana. Hæh? Welcome to the cream kingdom bitch, open up! Blac Chyna, I drink her piss out of another man's balls. My shooter a crackhead, he look like Woody Harrelson. You ain't seen ten bands in your life, chit! Reach for my neck you'll get turned into an example. Y'all gotta stop playing with me man. I threw diamonds at the strip clubs under the Great Pyramids. I pushed a camel through the eye of a needle. This shit ain't nothing to me man. Tied the opps to the back of a track hog. And dragged him around the block for twenty four hours. Motherfucker! Looked like a Resident Evil 5 campaign extra after we was done with him. Opps wanted some initiative, blew up their entire quadrant. I'm moving like Oppenheimer. She drop that ass on me from an egregarious angle, they thought I was Steven Wallace. Top shelf zaza, disrupted my circadian rhythm. I have seen the Magna Carta, I have seen the eye of Horuh. I was flipping bricks for Mansa Musa before you all even became a type 1 civilization. This shit ain't nothing to me you stupid piece of shit. Step the wrong way and you will perish. That pussy feel like Biscoff butter. You think I care about this shit? Ask me if I care about this shit, cuz I don't give a shit. If I had a dollar for every time they said I gave a shit, I'd be broke, cuz I don't give a shit. My bitch look like David Hasselhoff. I balled so hard they thought I was a fucking nutsack. This shit ain't nothing to me man I'll kill you you stupid piece of shit

[1eos]

tw// racism, slurs

dangelo wallace has a new video

it is about idubbz and its very weird because he basically takes his side and makes reasons why he forgives him which i dont get, while backpedalling saying he understands that slurs are wrong (but because his apology was "sincere" he forgives him, which wasnt even really sincere enough, he waited 6 years until he made a statement)

it is also about charlie (penguinz0) who responded to idubbzs video literally saying he shouldnt have apologized for saying slurs. then dangelo is saying yeah thats pretty bad n stuff but in the end says that he doesnt think charlie is a racist. like thank yew for nothing but being an apologist. i believe he made the video because he did something very bad in the past that made him look bad

this is not surprising. ive never liked dangelo wallace and ive always found him to be disingenuous. everyone acts like he's such a hard ass when he can't have a hard opinion on anything just like every other youtube. i do think you're encouraged either openly or subtly to kiss the toes of other youtubers bc you'd think big white racists who helped make content for other racists would not be so readily forgiven but 🤷🏾 like these black youtubers basically do damage control for these racist yters when its rebrand time. like u're really agreeing w these ppl who are straight up saying they don't care abt racism? that dirty looking white guy w the long hair literally said oh the internet was at its peak when racism was rampant and you couldn't say anything abt it without getting harassed. but they're not racist 😭😭😭😭 i think youtubers should all get real jobs but dangelo wallace being a flip flop flip flopping ass centrist pink dick riding weirdo reaffirms my hatred of virgo men! yeah i said it!