#waking up to the sound of screeching metal and sirens the first week u live in a house rly sets u up for living there
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#i cannot even say how eager i am to live somewhere that is not right down the street from the hospital#i already have so much anxiety every time i pass that place but hearing the sirens constantly every single day.#it takes me like an hour to feel normal after i hear them#an hour after every unexpected phone call#an hour after my mom hears a siren and it gives her flashbacks which trigger mine#not to mention the road behind my house is this road where motorcyclists and cars decide they can go as fast as humanly possibly#so every night i hear them speeding by so fast and i have woken up to car accidents right behind my house#waking up to the sound of screeching metal and sirens the first week u live in a house rly sets u up for living there#not to mention the neighbour’s girlfriend’s ex stalks her sometimes and he’ll just Be Here Outside being weird#and i don’t trust the neighbour in general. since the day we moved in i haven’t trusted him#and then there’s the boys around the corner that always bring out their lawn chairs and shout things at me when i ride my bike past#plus the ppl in my neighbourhood have money and so a lot of them have sports cars that they drive too fast around corners#i just. i love my house i do. the inside of my house has gotten me through the hardest times of my life#but i do not feel safe or comfortable in this neighbourhood#why do the power lines buzz so loud every night#what is that godawful ringing that only me and my sister can hear on the other side of the street#idk there’s just smth Off about it here i need to leave but i’m so scared to leave my safe space behind too#this is the longest i’ve lived in a house in a Long time and we’ve changed it so much it feels like mine#i’m holding onto it but i’m so eager to go at the same time it feels so odd#anyway. could we start with no more sirens bc i’ve been sitting on the floor recuperating for the last twenty minutes#my anxiety is a million times worse than it was a few years ago and i’m so tired of being this person#i wanna feel safe in the world again
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