#wait yes sorry and where did the alien kaiju come from. is that just. a thing in this world?

[canary-song]

Every time I attempt to reread Peni's comics, I have more and more questions, which is very fun as someone who loves world building, but.

[hermannsthumb]

I know you don't usually write PRU stuff, but if you ever feel inclined, here's a ficlet idea! so: Newt is trying to fight off the Precursors by constantly reminding himself that He Is Human. but whenever newt thinks about what makes him Feel Human, the answer is always hermann. so newt starts conjuring up vivid mental images of hermann (doing mundane, hermann-y things) to ward off the Precursors. bonus point if, like, newt fondly remembering smth innocuous (like the scent of Hermann's chalk dust?) is enough to actually sever the alien mind control.

Anonymous asked: Maria!!! Would you ever write an angsty post uprising prompt? Or even a pre uprising? Anything with Newt fucking around with Kaiju and being sad i am HERE FOR 👏

in honor of the sequel’s 3 year anniversary, let’s try something a little different 👀 THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME RE: LENGTH....I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not the bonus is wholly fulfilled.... also on proofing this I realized it might need content warnings? so vague refs to disordered eating and alcohol drinking (ie, newt’s body is inhabited by aliens who forget how human stuff works)

-----------

Honestly, Newt’s life has been kind of a shitshow lately. He’s too, like, high strung. Too many responsibilities. Not enough hours in the day to get that shit done. He’s even higher strung than he was during the war, which is nuts, because certain doom was lurking around every corner. Maybe that’s why it’s not that nuts, though. The war was chaotic—and Newt’s fueled (or, used to be fueled?) by chaos. The kaiju were unpredictable. The kaiju didn’t run on a 9-5 schedule. The kaiju didn’t expect Newt to have three new jaeger prototypes on their desk by noon on a fucking Saturday, which is usually the day Newt spends two hours in his expensive bath tub and drinks a nice bottle of wine, and definitely not a day he wants to spend giving himself a stress migraine and shouting at underlings to make themselves useful. On top of that, his usual cafe got his coffee order wrong—when Newt had to run in to get it, himself, on a Saturday morning—and it only had half the espresso shots he really needs for the day. No wonder he’s going grey at forty. Fucking nightmare. Stable employment is exactly the kind of chaos that’s bad for Newt—give him the kaiju any day, thanks.

“Dr. Geiszler?”

Newt pushes his sunglasses up, and scowls at whichever one of his employees has dared to interrupt his catnap. The fluorescent overheads are brutal on his poor eyes right now. The lab needs more natural lighting. Maybe if he complains, they’ll knock out some walls in put in a few more windows. “Did you find any Aspirin?” he says.

Wordlessly, Newt’s assistant passes him a bottle. Newt pops the cap off and takes at least four. The coffee he washes it down with is cold. “How are the last simulations coming along?” he says, flicking his sunglasses back down. He seems to have so many migraines these days. It’s the contact lenses, he thinks—making the switch over from frames so late in the game. Screwing with his perceptions. Newt went thirty years with frames, after all. “We only have two hours before—”

“We’re almost done,” his assistant cuts in. “We’re working as fast as we can, Dr. Geiszler.”

“But are we gonna make the deadline?” Newt says.

She fidgets, and moves her clipboard to her other arm. “Well—we’ve had some—issues.”

Newt stands up with a long sigh. Double overtime, probably. Sunday lost to this shit too. That new bottle of wine waiting for him on his kitchen counter bought for nothing. “Gotta do everything myself, huh? Unbelievable.”

He follows his assistant over to the main lab down the hall, where his team of j-techs are hurrying around. Hardly anyone in proper lab attire—no labcoats—someone in sweatpants—Newt wasn’t the only one who had his Saturday ruined, probably. No one else is going grey, though. “What’s this shit?” he says, stopping in his tracks with one foot through the doorway. The high-tech holo-smartboards have been pushed aside, and instead, someone’s wheeled in a huge…chalkboard.

“Technical issues,” his assistant says. “The other floors are having the same problem—something in the new interface update that downloaded last night, we think. They’re all out of commission. Technology is working on it, but for now, we had to pull that out of deep storage.”

Two of his scientists are scrawling across the board quickly—one with white chalk, the other with pink. They’re debating something in hushed tones. Newt hasn’t seen a chalkboard in years. It doesn’t fit with Shao Industry’s whole chic, sleek, futuristic aesthetic. So—bulky. And messy. “Of course it would happen today of all days,” Newt sighs. The sight of it makes him feel odd, and he can’t seem to drag himself any further into the lab and any closer towards it.

His assistant says something. Newt doesn’t hear—he’s listening, instead, to the squeaking of chalk across the blackboard. So noisy and obnoxious. It reminds him of years and years ago, of working in a grimy little basement, of…

“—look it over. Dr. Geiszler?”

“Hm?” Newt says. It was like a layer of fog had begun to lift from his thoughts, but the interruption sends it rolling right back in.

“I said we’re ready for you to look it over. Only if you want too, of course,” she adds, nervously.

“Uh-huh,” Newt says.

Newt’s never had anyone fear him before, not like his employees seem to fear him—he’s not sure he likes it. His scientists shut up the second he looms over (well—under, Newt’s never loomed over anyone in his life) their shoulders to inspect their work so far. The squeaking stops. One of them lowers their piece of chalk. “Wait,” Newt says, too-loudly, surprising them and himself. They both look at him with the same nervousness as his assistant, like he’s about to start shouting or something. “Keep doing that.”

“Keep…?”

“Writing,” Newt says. “On the chalkboard.”

The scientist frowns at him. “Um, okay,” she says. “What am I supposed to write?”

“Anything,” Newt says. “Seriously. Anything.”

She hesitates.

“Anything,” Newt repeats.

She picks up the white chalk, and writes out her name, then doodles a few random pictures—a DNA helix, a flower, a cat face, a star. Newt shuts his eyes, and breathes in deeply. That smell. He snags the forgotten piece of pink chalk from the ledge. “Can I have this?” he says. He doesn’t wait for them to respond—though they both nod yes frantically, and bewilderedly—before writing out his own name on the board. Dr. Geiszler. It looks wrong, so he writes Newt beneath it. He shuts his eyes, and writes Newt again. Why does he feel like he’s done this sort of thing before? This thing is ancient—before his time at Shao—he wouldn’t have used it before they carted off to the basement. Newt, Newt, Newt Was Here,he writes, Newt +, and then he stops.

He opens his eyes. “Who’s Hermann?” his assistant says.

Newt + Hermann. Newt didn’t realize he wrote it. “Someone I knew,” he says, faintly. “Years ago. He was my—” He swallows. He feels strange. “My colleague?”

Strange. Dizzy. The Aspirin isn’t working. Definitely the contact lenses. He could afford laser eye surgery now, if he wanted, maybe he should look into it. He grips the ledge of the chalkboard, swaying, and grits his teeth; his two scientists back away from him slowly, no doubt worried he’s about to hurl all over their shoes. He might, to be honest. Newt + Hermann. Hermann was his colleague. Hermann was his— “Are you feeling okay, Dr. Geiszler?” his assistant asks. “You look…”

“Tell Shao I’m taking the rest of the day off,” Newt says.

“What?”

“You guys got this shit handled without me,” Newt says. He pockets the chalk. “I’m not—I’m not feeling myself. I think I need to go home and lie down. Seriously, you’ve got it under control—all these numbers look, uh, good, I trust you. If you guys don’t get it finished you can just tell Shao it’s my fault, okay?”

She gapes at him. “Uh,” she says. “Okay?”

Newt doesn’t go home. He goes to the nearest shop he can find instead, and makes a beeline for the art supplies aisle. Only a few boxes of chalk in stock. Four multicolored, two all-white, one yellow. He drops them all into his basket but the yellow, which he rips opens and immediately smells. Newt + Hermann. Hermann always smelled like chalk dust—he always had a fine layer of it on his clothing, patches of it on his blazer, his sweatervest, even on his undershirt. Newt used to tease him for that. He closes his eyes, and breathes in again. Funny—all those baths, all those bottles of wine, and this stupid little box of chalk is what’s finally making him feel calm for once. Quieting down his brain. He didn’t realize how loud it’d gotten in there. When Hermann would kiss Newt, he would sometimes stain Newt’s clothing with chalk, too, and Newt would pretend to be annoyed, but he never really was.

Someone is speaking to him. An employee. They’re staring at him, a cautious distance away, and Newt’s not sure what they’re saying.

His vision’s gone blurry—he didn’t realize he’d started crying, either. He wipes his eyes on the cuff of his blazer and sniffles. “Sorry,” he says. The box of yellow chalk is wet. “Um. Do you have any more of these in the back?”

He takes the bus home for the first time in years, one hand stuffed in his little brown shopping bag the whole time, wrapped around a box of chalk. When he gets back to his apartment (his big, lonely, apartment), he pulls out the only food in his fridge—some leftovers from a Shao Industries event three nights ago—and settles down on his big, lonely couch. He can’t stop thinking about Hermann. Five or so years, maybe more, not thinking about Hermann, and now suddenly—it’s like the floodgates have opened. He thinks about Hermann’s haircut. (Bad.) He thinks about Hermann’s smile. (Silly, and sweet.) He thinks about Hermann’s dumb accent, and the clack of Hermann’s cane on the floor, and Hermann’s chalk squeaking over his chalkboard, and how it felt when Hermann would wrap him in his arms and kiss him and whisper things to him. Hermann’s sweaters always smelled like mothballs and stale cigarette smoke. Terrible combination.

Newt’s stomach growls. He’s finished the small bit of leftovers without realizing, and is apparently still hungry. He would kill for some sushi takeout right now. Or pizza, God. Yeah, it’d be screwing with his new diet and fitness plan—he casts a guilty glance over at his brand new exercise bike, which is gathering dust in the corner by his TV—but he’s tired of doing stupid kale and juice cleanses or whatever, just to please—well. He’s only human.

He is?

He walks up the stairs to his bathroom, and stares at himself in the mirror. Stupid vest. Stupid tie. Neat hair, clean-shaven cheeks, contact lenses. Newt’s only human. “I’m human,” he tells his reflection. Is he human? He felt human standing by that old chalkboard back in the lab, and holding that box of yellow chalk in the aisle of that little shop. He felt human when he was remembering things. Because of—Newt blinks at himself. Because of whom?

“Hermann,” he says, and smiles at the way the name makes him feel. He should text him, maybe.

-------------

“I must say,” Hermann says, “I was quite surprised when I received your dinner invitation. You’ve done a rather fine job of ignoring my calls as of late. I’d thought— Ah, thank you,” he adds, as Newt holds the door open for him. He steps into Newt’s apartment and cranes his neck around, squinting curiously, and then shoves a bottle of red wine at Newt’s chest. Hermann is much more personable than Newt remembers—what little Newt remembers—and he wonders if it’s age or something else. “I’ve been holding onto this one for a while. It’s the one you gave me as a part of a gift for my thirty-seventh birthday—you remember? Oh, but isn’t it so terrifically, er, modern in here.”

“Is it?” Newt says. He’s never given much thought to his apartment before, but he stares around at it now in mild interest. It is very chic, isn’t it? Monochrome. Impersonal. Not something Newt would’ve picked for himself. “Yeah, I had some interior decorators come in and do it for me.”

Hermann arches an eyebrow. “How…”

“Modern,” Newt offers. He puts the bottle of wine on his marble kitchen island. “Thanks for this, by the way, but I’ve actually been trying to cut back on the—” He bites back drinking. No need to alarm Hermann. “—Calories, so if it’s cool with you I’d rather not open it. I’m doing a, um, a new fitness program.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “I suppose that explains that, then, doesn’t it?” He points at the dusty exercise bike. Newt watches his gaze move from that, to the barren leather couch, to the short staircase which leads to Newt’s shut bedroom door. Newt can practically see the gears working in his head. “Will—ah, what was their name, that little flight of fancy of yours—a dalliance, one might say—will they be, ah, joining the two of us?” He looks at Newt out of the corner of his eye. “Alice, was it?”

“Who?” Newt says, blankly.

Hermann breaks out in a broad grin, which he quickly tries, very badly, to turn into a sympathetic frown. He pats Newt’s arm. “There’s the spirit, then, Newton! All in the past, I presume? Hardly any use in dwelling on a broken heart. Then again—it’s not as if you were together long enough to warrant those sorts of dramatics, were you?” he says, cheerily. “What I mean is—certainly it wasn’t as if you had any sort of deep or emotional connection with—?—oh, I’ve forgotten the name again.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He’s not really sure who Hermann’s talking about, but just based on that fact alone, he would assume Hermann is right. “I guess not?”

“Precisely as I expected,” Hermann says, with a satisfied nod. “Rotten grounds for a relati—for a fling. You deserve far better, Newton.” Hermann touches Newt’s arm again, and this time, he doesn’t move his hand. It makes Newt’s skin prickle pleasantly. “You look well these days, though I admit it’s a bit of a shock to see you without your glasses,” Hermann continues, flicking his eyes up and down Newt twice. He lingers on Newt’s left hand, over the bare spot where—until this morning, when he suddenly realized how stupid it looked and yanked it off—he was wearing that Elvis ring. “Ending things must be treating you kindly. I don’t suppose I could dash to your loo?”

“Loo?” Newt says. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s that door there, right off the living room.” He drops down onto the leather couch. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here.”

Hermann disappears into Newt’s bathroom, and comes back out three minutes later with combed hair, a straightened collar, and the vague smell of cologne. He’s tucking a small bottle into his top pocket. “I found a box of hair dye in your medicine cabinet,” he declares, smugly. “I knew there was no bloody way that was natural. Though I’m not surprised it fooled Alice.” He rests his cane against the glass coffee table and sits down next to Newt. Right next to Newt. The whole sofa to pick from, and he’d rather their thighs touch. Newt doesn’t mind—actually, the contact is strangely grounding, like Hermann’s hand on his arm had been earlier. He’s here, in his living room, with Hermann, his friend Hermann, his colleague Hermann, his—well, question mark—Hermann.

“Hermann, can I ask you something?” he says. “Something important?”

“By all means,” Hermann says, leaning in and fluttering his eyelashes. Even over the cologne, Newt can still make out that mothball-chalk-smoke smell.

“Do you take your coffee with sugar?” he says.

Hermann laughs. “Do I—what?”

Newt repeats the question. The smile slips off Hermann’s face, and he draws away, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well,” he says, “yes, usually, only I’m not sure what—”

“Sugar, and some milk,” Newt says. “It was the same with your tea. And you had a mug that you would use—you wouldn’t use any other. It was blue, and it said—” He exhales through his nose. “It said TU Berlin. That’s where you got your PhD.”

After Newt sent Hermann a text about dinner last night, he sat down with a pen and pad of paper and made a list of everything he could remember about Hermann. He started with what Hermann looks like, and who Hermann is, and then moved into the harder stuff like what Hermann likes and the sort of things Hermann used to do. He stayed up all night doing it, until his hand cramped and his head hurt even more than it had that morning, and then recited it over and over to himself in a whisper as he fell asleep. Hermann has brown eyes. Hermann likes blackberry jam on his toast. Hermann wears little glasses on a chain. Hermann uses a cane with a tiny little nick in the brass of the handle. The list is in his pocket now; it makes Newt feel calm, and even calmer when he reaches into his pocket and touches it. He exhales again, hard, and then inhales. “We were together,” he says. “When we closed the Breach, you told me you loved me.”

“I did,” Hermann says, quietly.

“I said it back,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

Slowly, Newt reaches out and puts his hand over Hermann’s. Hermann makes a strange noise in the back of his throat—like a sigh, or maybe a groan. His pulse twitches erratically under Newt’s fingertips. “I bought chalk,” Newt says.

“You—” Hermann echoes, his voice choked. “You bought chalk?”

“It reminded me of you,” Newt says.

He’s not surprised when Hermann kisses him, but he is surprised at his knee-jerk reaction: to pull away, or push Hermann away, and to order him to get out of his apartment. He’s surprised, because those aren’t his thoughts. He doesn’t want Hermann to leave—he wants Hermann to stay longer, and kiss him more, and help him remember more. “Oh, Newton,” Hermann says. “Newton, Newton—” He moves his mouth to Newt’s neck, kissing, breathing, and whispering his name, and Newt shuts his eyes and forces himself to remember his list.

“Tell me things about you,” Newt begs. “I want to remember you.”

Hermann’s laughter, hesitant and confused, comes out in a puff of hot air against his skin. “Remember me?” he says. “I’m not sure— Are we not a bit—?”

“Hermann,” Newt says.

He grips the back of Hermann’s sweater, digging his nails in Hermann’s skin through the layers of fabric. Hermann must hear the urgency in his voice, because he shakes his head with another laugh, kisses Newt’s jaw, and says, “Well, alright. What am I even meant to tell you?”

“Your favorite color,” Newt says. Hermann kisses his chin. “Your favorite song. No, wait—” He nudges Hermann away from him, just enough so that Hermann can see him smile. “Tell me what you like about me.”

“Feeling rather egotistical tonight, aren’t we?” Hermann teases. He reaches out and brushes his fingers through the side of Newt’s hair. One of the spots Newt dyed—it was too grey. He catches Hermann’s hand by the wrist and pulls it away gently, but only to press himself up against Hermann’s chest instead. He can feel Hermann’s heartbeat. “I like—hm,” Hermann says. “I like your stubbornness. I like your passion. I like…”

His voice vibrates in his throat—Newt can feel that, too. He listens.

[avelera]

*emerges from their grace* a chubby Newt that stress eats???? Also hi it's been a while :v

aaaah, babe it’s been too long!! Thank you for the prompt!

This one’s gonna combine a few Anon prompts too including: 

Chubby Newt never manages to lose his lovehandles even in the middle of the war, his eating habits aren’t always the best and there’s always junk food wrappers in his room but he’s always comfortable and soft and friend-shaped.

&Newton’s one of those kids that stacked on the puppy fat as a teenager but assumed he’d grow more and even out but he just… didn’t? Like, he’s taller than he was which is nice but he’s also still got chipmunk cheeks and a few stretch marks on his thighs and for all his talk of being a “rock star” he can actually be quite sensitive about these things, especially when it comes to being intimate with someone (he’s had a few bad experiences). But he’s still got a rockin bod! 

And mostly:

sickfic type thing with (a lil chubby) newt who ate too much and hermann taking care of him—

On the Risks (and Benefits) of Stress Eating

Also available on Ao3

Words: 2,682 (I knooow)

Ship:Newt/Hermann

Timeline: Shatterdome era

Man I just remembered I was thinking of tying my SFW Shatterdome era prompt combo one into the tattoo prompt but then sickfic took over. OH WELL. I’ll get to that one soon cuz it’s amazing.

This ficlet is proooobably gonna lead into my NSFW prompt combo, just FYI ;3

—-

“Newton, maybe you should slow down?”

Newt grunted in acknowledgement of Hermann’s point, whatever it was, and went back to summarily ignoring it. The LiDAR mapping of the latest Kaiju attack had just come in and he needed to square them with the video as well since there was almost zero chance he’d get any live samples from this one. He’d have to make do without. He crunched on another potato chip without tasting it and when the bag was empty tossed it on the ground with the pile of others. His brain hummed, streamlined and focused from taking his medication twice today and if he stayed focused he could ride this wave to getting a week’s worth of work done in an evening. And if he could manage just a few, oh, thousand more nights like that then maybe they’d have a shot at winning this war.

“…Newton, that’s your fifth bag of junk food, this is getting obscene. At least let me fetch you a meal from the cafeteria before it closes? Perhaps something with a vitamin buried in it somewhere?”

“No thanks,” Newt muttered. Could the guy not see he was busy? Cafeteria food meant knife and fork which meant freeing up his hands which meant breaking his concentration and he was on a roll. Achieving this level of focus was a once in a blue moon thing for him, usually he needed to bounce between three projects to finish any and sure, that meant three projects got done in the time it took most people to do one, but he wasn’t going to stop now when hyperfixation was helping him out for once. Just to make the point he blindly reached over and grabbed another bag of snacks, tearing it open with his teeth and burying his hand inside to stuff his mouth full before returning his hands to the keyboard.

“… Newton, I…”

Newt snarled and spun in his chair. “What is it, Hermann? Can’t you see I’m working, or at least I’m trying to if you wouldn’t interrupt every five minutes?!”

Hermann recoiled, his hand snatching back from where it had presumably hovered at Newt’s shoulder. He drew himself up, expression growing pinched and severe. His suit jacket was tossed over one arm and he gripped his cane hard in the other hand. “It’s been three hours since I last interrupted you and before that it was another two. I only interrupted this time to tell you I’m retiring for the evening, so do remember to switch the lights off this time,” he said stiffly.

Newt blinked then his eyes drifted to the clock blinking military time on the wall. 2300 hours. Oh. His vision swam now that it broke from the screen and he realized he didn’t feel so great. Like, not great at all, maaaybe more than a little nauseous.

Then he spotted the pile of junk food bags and wrappers in a halo around his chair. His lap was encrusted with crumbs and his keyboard wasn’t much better. He prided himself in his total lack of squeamishness but this was…kinda more than a little disgusting.

About as disgusting as he felt right now.

Hermann’s wide lips thinned to a line. “I did try to warn you.”

Newt groaned and flopped back in his chair, which was a big mistake because the accidental stretch sent a pang through his belly and he doubled over, heaving shallow breaths and trying to swallow back the nausea.

“And don’t throw up on my shoes, if you would be so kind.”

“No promises,” Newt wheezed. Hermann took a careful step back out of the “blast radius.” Newt swallowed a few more times, fumbled for water bottle on his desk and took a swig. His medication left him dry-mouthed so he always had one handy. After a tense moment, the wave of nausea passed which only reminded him of the other gross part of his hyperfixation bouts.

Stress eating. His whole body felt bloated and gross and his stomach distended to just this side of pain. The buttons on his shirt were tight and if Hermann would just take off already so he could unbutton his pants and breathe he’d feel much better. His stupid, tight pants were only a fashion statement when he wasn’t spilling out of them like an over-ambitious muffin in front of the guy he’d been hopelessly dreaming about boning since he were twenty-fucking-three, and right now he couldn’t imagine feeling any less sexy. Newt buried his face in his hands with a groan.

“You can go. Don’t worry, I’ll get the damn lights,” Newt muttered into his hands, then scraped them back through his hair as he sat up. Hermann was still standing there looking, if anything, kinda… worried.

“Are you certain you don’t need help returning to your quarters?” Hermann said. “I know how it can be with your… your mind the way it is, and it does you no favors when you lose track of your surroundings, and worse, your own wellbeing like this.”

“You say “lose track” like it was something I had control over,” Newt said dryly.

“My apologies, I know it’s not as simple as that, I merely meant…”

Newt waved him off. “Nah, don’t worry about it. Thanks for trying earlier, sorry I was a dick about it.”

“Well, I won’t contradict you on that point.”

Newt snorted. On any other night it would be way too embarrassing to let Hermann walk him back, people might get ideas. They might get the exact idea that Newt was really hoping someone would get, and that someone was Hermann, when Newt went through waves of getting handsy with the guy when the crush got too bad and then scrambling away again when another fight flared. Usually because Hermann had a stupid opinion about Newt’s research, or Newt had an opinion about Hermann’s stupid research. It was just how they were, and fighting was almost as good as fucking when it came to breaking up the very one-sided sexual tension.

Ugh, sexual tension. No fucking chance of breaking that tonight. Maybe it was for the best.

“Actually, y’know what? I think I could use that hand,” Newt winced.

He wasn’t sure if he should expect another exasperated retort or jibe for that one, but Hermann said nothing, only offered his arm to Newt the way he’d done countless times in return.

Hermann must have deemed this episode to be on the no-insults side of the line that existed between them, where dwelled the topics Never To Be Discussed, mostly stuff they had no control over. Newt never brought up the leg unless it was logistically necessary and Hermann never brought up Newt’s weird brain except for similar reasons (one time Newt heard that Hermann tripped a J-tech with his cane for calling Newt that spastic freak in the dungeon but try as he might Newt couldn’t get anyone to verify that crowning moment of awesome). Their insults always stayed in the realm of the other’s stupid research, or stupid clothes, or stupid hair/tattoos, stuff that they had control over (and god if only Hermann would take control of that wardrobe). For whatever reason, Newt stuffing himself with junk food on a work binge counted as “stuff they couldn’t control” and for that he was endlessly grateful.

The floor swayed beneath Newt’s feet and he had to swallow back another wave of nausea as he stood. He leaned on Hermann’s arm more than he’d really meant to when he’d accepted, he didn’t want to hurt the guy, but while their progress was slow out the lab (Newt got the lights on the way) and down the hall to their rooms. Hermann hesitated outside Newt’s door.

“Would you like me to come in…?” Hermann said hesitantly.

God, yes, Newt thought, not that he could ever say it.

“God, yes.”

Crap.

“… and see you settled?” Hermann finished.

Double-crap. Just play it cool, Newtster.

“Sure, I feel like total shit. Maybe you could rub my tummy or something?” he winked.

That wasn’t cool at all.

Newt grimaced. It’s not like he cared what Hermann-stick-up-his-arse-Gottlieb thought about him (ok he did care, a lot, way too much) but even his not caring was more about hoping that attitude came across in a reckless, devil-may-care, sexy bad boy kind of way. Not because he was too nauseous and bloated to give a shit that he was covered in crumbs instead of engine oil or alien guts, and just generally gross.

Instead of waiting for Hermann’s inevitable exasperated huff and retort about Newt’s talking nonsense, he opted for spinning the industrial-grade lock on his door and going inside. He stumbled through the doorway and only then turned to see Hermann still standing there, his cheeks lit up like Christmas.

“Is it something I said?” Newt hazarded.

Hermann shook himself. “Your… stomach, is it really hurting that much? All jests aside, Newton, the medical bay is closed but I’d be happy to help however I may. Your health is a serious matter.”

Newt’s eyes narrowed. Since when was Hermann helpful about anything? “You want to rub my stomach?”

Hermann’s face turned crimson and for once it was definitely not with anger.

“I…” Hermann said in a strangled tone.

“Look, I’m gonna get ready for bed,” Newt said and jabbed his thumb back over his shoulder at his rumpled pile of comforters. Godzilla sheets poked out at the corners, it wasn’t exactly a love nest. “You can do whatever you want.”

Newt turned and back to unbutton his shirt. The iron door clanged shut behind him and he sighed, exhaling to allow his gut to hang over his pants and sighing with deeper pleasure when his fingers reached the top button of his pants. He’d have to file that blush away for later, because for now if he was going to take another stab at seducing the human personification of a sweater-vest (why did he crush on that guy so hard, why?) it would have to wait until he felt human again at all.

There was a polite cough from behind him.

Newt shrieked and whipped around, his hands flying to cover himself since the pants had slid halfway down his thighs. Hermann stared, his fist covered his mouth until he slowly lowered it. “I… you said whatever I… I’d feel better if I knew you were…” Hermann cleared his throat. “I’ll just see myself out, then.”

“Wait,” Newt blurted. Seriously, Hermann was still here? Newt had said he could do whatever he wanted and he’d stayed? “Was that offer serious?”

Hermann turned back and the blush was there again, heating up to his ears. “I… I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t,” he said stiffly.

“I, well… sure? Hell, why not? It’s not like I was going to get any sleep without it,” Newt said. Right, they were just pals here. Pals who were mostly rivals, pals who definitely didn’t have crackling sexual tension filling the room like a Tesla coil gone haywire. That was only in Newt’s head. He tentatively finished unbuttoning his shirt and tossed it over the back of his desk chair before bending to shuck his trousers. “Thanks, man, I guess that means I owe you.”

“What are you doing?” Hermann squawked.

“Getting ready for bed?” Newt said with a raised eyebrow. “Dude, you stayed, sorry if that means you get the whole package because I am not wearing anything except boxers to bed.” He paused, and it couldn’t get much worse anyway so he added with a wink, “And even that’s a concession.”

He snickered under his breath as Hermann sputtered but then, the guy had volunteered and there was something going on with that blush that had the wheels in Newt’s brain turning. It’s not like he could do anything more to sabotage his future chances with Hermann anyway, so might as well not worry about it. He flopped down on the bed, then winced and curled in on himself as the pangs returned with a vengeance. Yeah, it hadn’t been a total joke about the not being able to sleep. The first time he’d had a night like this was when he started undergrad as a teen and back then he’d averaged at least one night like this a month.

“Here, just let me,” Hermann huffed as he sat down beside Newt on the bed. He was still wearing the shirt and sweater-vest, which made Newt feel a little underdressed for the occasion until he reminded himself that Hermann was overdressed which instantly made him feel better. Hermann’s fingers were cold but it was nice, kinda soothing as they began to massage slow circles around his belly. His soft, protruding belly with its gaping Kaiju maw and airbrushed flame abs that definitely weren’t fooling anyone at this point.

It was only a few minutes before the pain began to ease and even with a double dose of meds, Newt found relaxation taking the place of the manic energy that had powered him through the night and probably would have gotten him to the morning just in time for a spectacular crash if he’d kept riding it.

“Dude, you’re really good at this,” Newt murmured and let his eyes slide shut.

“I…ermm, I’ve watched some videos on the matter,” Hermann coughed.

Newt’s brow furrowed and he cracked an eye open. The blush was back. Interesting. Hypothesis time. “Sorry I’m so gross right now,” he said. “I know this is more up-close-and-personal you wanted to get with me, especially with the whole swollen tummy and over-eating thing.” Hermann’s blush spread. “It’s not like I plan it or anything, I just lose track of time. It’s been like this for ages, I was never a skinny kid or anything, but the freshmen fifteen hit pretty hard especially when my dads weren’t around to keep healthy food out and, uh, I grew out of a few wardrobes…”

Hermann gave a muffled squeak and his fingers dug a little too hard into Newt’s stomach so that he winced. “That’s… interesting,” Hermann said faintly. “Hrm. That is… you should be more careful in the future. I’d be happy to keep you well stocked in food of some nutritional value if it will spare you another night like this.”

“You’d feed me? That’s sweet of you, Herms,” Newt said. Jackpot. Hermann looked like he was going to start sweating if he blushed any harder, he might have already. “I’d eat from your fingers if it meant not feeling this cruddy again any time soon.”

Hermann released a deep, slow breath that shivered at the end. “D-Don’t be absurd.”

“I’m not.”

Hermann jerked to stare down at him and Newt looked back up frankly. Forget gross, he was starting to think he’d stumbled upon being quite the opposite.

He yawned hugely. “…But not tonight. I’m wiped and I need to let a little of this to go down before I think of eating anything more,” he said and patted his stomach, rubbing it once for good measure. Hermann’s eyes widened. Yup. “You can stay here if you want.”

“Why would I stay here when my quarters are next door?” Hermann said and sounded like he was trying to be offended but the words came out breathless.

Newt shrugged. “Why not? I don’t mind,” he said and curled over on his side and shut his eyes. “It’s up to you.”

He didn’t open them, just waited to hear the heavy iron door open and shut.

It didn’t.

—

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Fate/Zero 1 - 25 (FINAL)

Most of these notes stayed intact during Fate/Stay Winter posts, but I’m releasing them in an unedited version here (aside from the dotpoints and read more, of course).

Fate/Zero 1

For some reason, I have it recorded that I’ve watched F/Z ep. 1, but I don’t remember it!  I only remember Saber fighting someone…that’s why I have notes for this ep too.

Ewwwwwww…what’s that in the Macedonian box…?

Oh! Heaven’s Feel is the name of one of the movies that came out this year or last.

LOL, the grandparents of Waver literally refer to him as “Waver”. I thought it was a title. Is it really his name???

I’m very good at making connections between seemingly disconnected things using only the things I know. I predict Kariya’s in for a verrrrrrrry bad time and will probably die in this Grail War, if not go bananas. I already know Rin, Ilya (the Einzbern child) and Sakura are already part of the Fate/ canon, so they’re probably going to fight in a Grail War as well.

Ahhhhhhh! B*stard Archer (that is, Gilgamesh)! He’s hereeeeeeeee!

What’s that counter on the ep title card…? Is it the time until the Grail War…?

Fate/Zero 2

I’ve seen enough spoilers being bandied about that I already know Rider is Alexander the Great.

Like, seriously, why do we call the dude “Waver Velvet”? What’s his real name?

Kiritsugu acts as Ilya’s dad, but…I’m pretty sure he isn’t her dad. Kiritsugu’s surname is Emiya, right? He’s Shirou’s dad, as far as I know. Then again, I only know what I know from being around Fate/ fans for so long.

LOL, there are far too many dragons in this name – Ryuunosuke Uryuu.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Is this Giant B*stard Archer???? Is this Giant B*stard Archer??? (i.e. Gilgamesh) Oooooooooh! No wonder people like Gilgamesh, even though they call him a giant loveable b*stard.

Fate/Zero 3

Thy don’t call Rider that for nothin’, eh?

I wonder how Saber managed to get a passport…? She’d need one, eh?

Oh…CGI car…it’s burning my eyesssssssss! (although I do believe Troyca didn’t do any better with El-Melloi’s Case Files)

“Hotel in Fuyuki” – They couldn’t be any more explicit with this stuff, could they…?

“…Highness.” – I can see why Saber is so popular with the Fate/ fans now.

Huh? I seem to remember the battle that comes next! Damn *bleep* <- (censored name of anime club manager responsible for the anime marathon that caused me to go from the beginning of F/Z in the first place)! I definitely remember Saber fighting Lancer.

Fate/Zero 4

(sorry, seen this one! That’s where the confusion was! So no notes here!)

Fate/Zero 5

Berserker looks like Goblin Slayer covered in smoke…LOL.

…Well, they don’t call that guy Berserker for nothin’ either.

Rider would make a great Santa Claus, LOL.

Fate/Zero 6

Isn’t there a Joan of Arc in the Netflix Fate/ (Apocrypha)?

Dang, that Kayneth is an evil b*stard, alright!

Kirei is basically Wolverine…?

No wonder you never hear about Caster when people talk about Fate/…he’s neither hot nor a waifu…so nobody gives a s*** about him.

Fate/Zero 7

Is that a Gantz?

Wait, y’mean Rider is motivated…by pants? *spits* Hahahaha…

You can see Ufotable’s much-praised CGI at work here, too.

I can definitely see why Ufotable was chosen for Katsugeki and why they chose Izuminokami for their protag.

Had to google Jeanne to remember what she looks like in this universe, but yeah…she does look like Saber.

For some reason, I had a fleeting thought that Lancer would be the one to be on the mountain alongside Saber…I was right.

So basically, the entire Fate/ series is this: who would win? A mage or an assassin? (Or something like this.)

Fate/Zero 8

I still think Kirei is basically Wolverine.

Kiritsugu = “to cut and tie”.Update: It’s “to tie” and “to inherit”, apparently.

F/Z 9

I wonder…just what is Lancer’s motivation for the Grail? Surely, Servants have their own motives…

I literally covered my eyes when Sola-Ui bent Kayneth’s finger back…it was almost as bad as seeing Nozomi get tortured (Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka)…*gulp*

“Not well” is an understatement, Sola-Ui.

I had to google how old Waver was in this Grail War…he’s 19, apparently, so right in my strike zone right here, so to speak~.

Beleaguered Waver is what you cool kids would call the 2020 Mood…and yes, I’m watching this on the 1st of January, 2020 (but you’re reading this after I put it up later in the month), so I’m keeping the comment.

“What kind of moron would go busting in?” – *facepalm* It seems Rider would.

What the heck is Rider riding his chariot over on the floor, anyway? What’s up with these sewer creatures ? They’ve got tentacles…!

F/Z 10

Rin reminds me of Asuka (NGE)…*gulp* That can only mean bad things for her.

Zenjo? I’ll make a note of that name.

That one glowing sign says “Fuyuki Station”.

Rin no Bouken = Rin’s Adventure. I don’t see why the subbers included “Big” in there, tbh.

F/Z 11

Uh-oh. Why do I get the feeling Saber’s going to get very, very drunk…?

Gee whiz, the great b*stard is a narcissist…

Well, sometimes I forget I had “Archer = Gilgamesh” spoilt for me ages ago…probably because he’s all over Babylonia, not to mention he seems to be one of the more popular characters precisely because he is the great b*stard.

“I wish for my homeland’s salvation.” – An interesting thing to say, considering Brexit.

What the f*** is a Gordius…oh, okay. So that’s Rider’s chariot.

How many Assassins are there??? I thought there was just the one, but there were 4 last time.

This discussion is interesting…no wonder Saber got mistaken for Joan of Arc back in the day.

Welp, Assassins gotta assassinate…*shrugs*

Eyyyyyy…there’s this one guy who looks basically like an older Waver Velvet! That explains a few things, I think.

F/Z 12

“Ramasonic” (sic).

I still think Gil-I mean, Archer’s snakeskin pants are hilarious.

I feel like last episode was a lot better in regards to how good Fate/ could be. This episode is just Ufotable animating talking Gilgamesh and Kirei heads.

Why do I get a bad feeling something bad’s going to happen to Maiya…again?

Kirei trying to look bada*s while leaning against a wall…it looks sort of funny, to be honest with you…because he bends his neck at a funny angle.

F/Z 13

This is the end of the 1st cour, apparently…according to AniList, at least.

“…5 billion people.” – I think the number is 7 billion now, but okay.

Never leave your Servant unsupervised, amirite?

I saw one of the bookstore’s shelves has science fiction on it…hmm, in a show with magic, that seems ironic…or was that non-fiction? Also somewhat ironic.

Oh, this “Don’t you want to do anything fun?” from Rider to Waver is an interesting parallel to Kirei’s episode (the previous one).

Dragon guy’s off his rocker…seriously.

Paraphrasing here, but “…if you want to use the Grail to make yourself taller…” – then stick to milk and other calcium products, Waver…LOL. I mean, other anime characters do.

Even Saber Naruto runs! There are no aliens here…but that car does have gull-wing doors (<-had to google what the doors were called), so…is it a DeLorean or something? Then someone could time travel instead.

I thought one of the previous commands from the overseers was to defeat Caster…?

Fate/Zero has become a kaiju movie, LOL.

Scared Waver is also a 2020 Mood…LOL.

F/Z 14

What’s this “Giant of Light” business…?

Geesh…If Ufotable did a Godzilla movie, I would watch that…(now that this monster makes me think of that possibility.)

This is a small quibble, but is it “Diabolo” or “Diablo”?

Somehow it didn’t even hit me until the fight was halfway over…but does Gilgamesh control a flying airship as part of his Noble Phantasm?!

Pretty scenery or not, talking people standing still are just that…not very entertaining, for sure. It’s basically the only flaw of this series, aside from the fact it hasn’t plumbed the depths of its themes yet.

Ufotable’s clouds look kind of like Gainax’s in Houkago no Pleiades, huh?

Tokiomi seems to blame Kariya for the whole sister vs. sister thing. Hmm, it really just shows how demented the guy is.

F/Z 15

Berserker is only ever in CGI, huh? No wonder Ufotable was given the job.

“That’s…from King Arthur’s legend…” – Can I please interrupt with the Excalibur song? (I’m annoying like that and want to ruin your level of immersion, that’s why.)

Hey, who knew? We get to see Joan in this anime, too. Thank you, Ufotable and Type Moon for saving me a Netflix subscription.

F/Z 16

“Things have been rather hectic this evening.” – Well, you don’t say…

*Saber and Lancer start their fight * - I detect signs there may have been people shipping Saber and Lancer at this point in time, what with their mutual ideas of honour and such.

Kayneth is kind childish, LOL – he’s like a kid peeping at his parents while they complain to each other about a hard day’s work or something.

Uh, this curse from Lancer here is definitely gonna be relevant later, right…?

I was muttering, “Oh goodness” (<- I’m self-censoring here, but you get the point) a few times over when Kiritsugu and Maiya finally got around to killing Kayneth, Lancer and Kayneth’s fiancee. By the way, were those two ever married…? Also, this makes me wonder…what would happen if you got a completely useless Servant? Like “King of Fools” or something. It would sound like the Familiar of Zero, sure, but it would be an interesting exercise in making a compelling narrative.

F/Z 17

Dangit, B*stard Archer. Disappearing just after you provoked Kirei…

Oh! I found the Avalon scene confusing at first, but now that they explain it, it makes a lot more sense.

“As I live and breathe, Kirei!” – Sounds mighty ironic for a meant-to-be-dead historical figure to say that.

F/Z 18

We jump to someone else’s story…or do we?

For some reason, I think this beach place is based on Okinawa. (It seems like the best match.)

“This isn’t a game.” – Seems highly ironic, given his current situation.

I know Kiritsugu is probably looking into Shirley’s eyes, but all they show is the boobs downwards, so I imagine it to be fanservice.

That shaking was just to disguise the bad animation, wasn’t it…?

…and suddenly, zombies!

Well, that’s great, Kiritsugu. You ended up burning down a village by association. Good job…

“Vampires.” – Well, that wasn’t the word I was expecting…

For some reason, I think this new arrival is a woman, but now that I get a proper look at their face, they kinda look like the Great B*stard (Gilgamesh). Update: It looks like they have cleavage, but then they also kinda resemble Samatoki (Hyp Mic)…so, uh…I dunno. Update 2: Okay, she’s a woman…Natalia, to be precise.

The houses on fire look a lot like the ones in Katsugeki, come to think of it.

F/Z 19

Wait, what’s a Mystic Code again…?

Oh, I didn’t think this show would do it, but there’s a good few seconds of recap. I know, because I had to skip it.

Oh, the reason Kiritsugu doesn’t seem to ally with the Association or the Church is because Natalia wasn’t part of either. Right…I’m so dumb.

Am I just reading into Kiritsugu’s pose here too much, or does he look like Christ the Redeemer a bit…?

There’s something oddly pretty about Vorzak. Then again…it’s too bad he’s designated to be dead.

I could tell Kiritsugu was CGI for a second…but he was in fog. Dangit, Ufotable. You know how to disguise your CGI well.

…Okay, those bees were very CGI. Scrap what I just said.

Bees on a plane. What a way to die.

I’ve noticed Kiritsugu’s eyes don’t have any pupils in them. They’re always kind of dead, but not in th same way En’s (<- from Boueibu) are.

What happened to Kiritsugu’s mother…?

The extended flashback seems to be the best way to my heart, assuming you can pull it off properly.

What’s with that “sometime, somewhere”?

F/Z 20

There hasn’t been a proper OP since 3 episodes ago.

Was Maiya ever interested in Kiritsugu as a woman? This vague pseudo-harem sorta annoys me, which is why I need answers.

The crows in this show aren’t very fluffy. Not that I have a problem with that…it’s just a bit random (and I’m saying that as I operate without much sleep and will have a huge period of getting up early in my near future, so you’re probably going to see even more randomness coming from my brain).

Modanyaki. Never thought I’d be googling a Japanese concept for this anime.

This sleeping bag Waver reminds me of Aizawa, but this is at least 4 years too early for that.

That cloud in the top left is shaped funny…like a knight, maybe? (There’s a triangular bit that looks lik a helmet.)

I believe the bird is a bush warbler (uguisu), based on the colour.

So this is where you learn what the f*** a Gordius Wheel is…right.(sounds a bit pissed)

Seeing Kariya squirm…it makes me thank my lucky stars I had the sound off. My imagination makes the scene worse, though.

So fakers beget fakers and killers beget killers, huh? Not surprising.

“I’ve always told him he was doing the right thing.” – Because you didn’t know any better, huh, Iri?

F/Z 21

“Knight on Two Wheels” – What would that knight be riding, a bike…? (somewhat sarcastic)

…A motorbike. Close enough. (not sarcastic anymore)

The motorbike’s plate says “Fuyuki - Te” – instead of a licence plate combo, Japan has a single hiragana.

Well, at least now I know why you never hear of Kariya outside Fate/Zero much…those worms don’t give him long to live.

Isn’t Tokiomi dead though…?

Holy s***, Kariya, you just got framed! *yells in the tone of voice as if Kariya got owned…which he did, in a sense*

*brow furrowed* What’s up with the framing of Aoi’s killing that makes this seem like attempted rape…?

Kirei looks all dead inside. (LOL) I know it’s the animators�� fault that they didn’t bother with him in that scene, but…he has the eyes of a dead fish there, y’know? I can’t help but laugh.

F/Z 22

Never in my life have I seen a grandpa want to talk on the roof.

The grandpa reminds me of Rider…that’s probably where part of their relationship comes from.

You can see the lack of sleep is getting to Kiritsugu right now…his face looks a little sunken…

…Fate/ is apparently pretty infamous for treating its women badly from a feminist persepctive and I think I get why now…(referring to the death of Aoi and now Kirei’s treatment of Iri)

I think the scariest part of F/Z is watching th emotionless guy learn how to feel…kinda like Equilibrium, y’know?

Hmm? I wonder how this show will choose to end, since it’s signalling its end from 3 episodes out?

I predicted Rider would say something along the lines of “…befitting of the Rider class” and lo and behold! He did!

So Rider can summon a single horse as well as the entire chariot? *Saitama face* Okay then.

Number of Times Waver Appears: 1, Number of Times Waver Cries: 1, Number of Times Waver Blushes: 2

Come to think of it, even though I had that weird “Ohhhhhh! Great B*stard Archer!” reaction at first, Gilgamesh has shown up in most of the worst scenes of this show so far (basically, most of the “talking heads” scenes where he talks shop with Kirei). Then again, my change in feelings probably because I’ve had to keep a special eye out for Waver and knew Saber was the poster girl for the entire series.

The counter appears to be “time until the Holy Grail War”…well, that or its final conflict.

F/Z 23

I like how Waver’s joining in with Rider’s yelling.

I have the sound off, so now I’m just mentally narrating Sakura with this creepy child voice and it’s spooking me out…the Urobutcher could really go toe-to-toe with Stephen King if it weren’t my imagination…(LOL…?)

I feel sorry for that car’s owner…the car wasn’t meant to be wrecked…

I fully expect Berserker to be Lancelot or some other guy in King Arthur’s canon, judging by Saber’s reactio-hey, who’s Arondight…? Update: Oh, f***. It really is Lancelot. Turns out Arondight is the name of Lancelot’s sword. How did I know? There’s that upcoming Camelot adaption, isn’t there? Connect the dots.

Oh, f*** me – I feel conflicted. On the one hand, Lancelot’s hella handsome (and his dark hair is exactly my kinda thing), on the other hand…doesn’t he look like he came out of Castlevania or Vampire Hunter D or something??? F***in’ vampires!

Oh, f*** again, I stand corrected. Lancelot was handsome, before he became a Caster-looking…thing.

*bursts into spontaneous laughter* The new Lancelot looks kinda like Tsukasa from Dr Stone, LOL.

Number of Times Waver Cries: 2

Wait, isn’t Bucephalus Greek??? Update: No, he wasn’t. He was Alexander the Great’s horse. That explains why he’s Rider.

I was wondering how Waver managed to live long enough to be El-Melloi II when he was stuck in a battle to the death. Welp, that’s how he did it, folks! *points at screen*

Number of Times Waver Cries: 3…but…anti-climax, much, f***in’ Gilgamesh???

Uh, what’s up with Psalm 23:4? (I had to google that snippet of the Bible to find out its citation.)

LOL, Kirei and Kiritsugu have very similar faces. Didn’t realise that until now.

F/Z 24

It’s weird seeing Kirei full of fighting spirit…He’s still frickin’ Wolverine, though.

Is this taking cues from the Matrix? I bought it from the charity store the other day because I haven’t seen it yet, but I know Bullet Time from TV Tropes.

Now Kirei is channeling Bruce Lee, LOL.

Ouch…the bullet to the hand reminds me of the nail gun scene in The Island (which still freaks me out to this day). (…and now I’ve gone and done it – every time I think of that movie, I get the song The Island – part 1, at least - in my head as well.)

I can almost see Sakaido (from ID: Invaded) in some of these scenes instead of Kiritsugu…trust Ei Aoki and associates to do that.

I went to dump a screenshot in Paint and one of my Fate/ backgrounds from one of the previous posts was set to my background! (I have my backgrounds set to rotate every 12 hours and I have over 600 pictures for that purpose.) *sighs happily and incredulously* Well, whaddaya know…sometimes the stars do align.

I almost expected Shirley to appear, but it turns out it was Iri instead.

Kiritsugu still has his Command Seals so he’s still connected to the Grail War somehow…hmm…

C’mon, I predicted Gilgamesh would compliment Saber when she was down and bleeding.

F/Z 25 (FINAL)

Who’s Lord Justeaze?

Sakura has the same eyes as Kiritsugu. Dead, lifeless eyes.

Did Kariya just throw himself to the worms???

The Great Naked B*stard Gilgamesh.

A priest is a zombie, huh? How ironic.

Isn’t Gilgamesh annoyed by his lack of clothes…? Update: Never mind. He gets a cloth soon enough.

Wait, if Saber destroyed the Grail, who won…?

Huh? The timer ran out.

Aw, even Waver’s growing up.

One of the books says 零戦 (reisen) which apparently means “Zero Fighter [Plane]”. One of the sets of books says “William Shakespeare”, who I know is a Servant somewhere in the Fateverse.

The Bible verse is Job 19:25.

Lancelot’s head doesn’t disappear when the rest of him fades away…It’s pretty poignant.

Jubstacheit is the head of the Einzberns. Update: Think I had to google that.

“Becoming a hero has an expiration date.” – As much as I know that in my creative heart to not be true, my adult heart says yes, it’s true.

Welp, that’s the end of one series. Time for another.

[moved--306389]

Letting Go

Fandom: Pacific Rim Pairing: Newmann Rating: free for everyone I think Details: Post Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, fluff Warnings: bullying, curse words

SUMMARY: Why do the worst memories stay the longest? - Hermann tells the story of the reason he uses a cane

[Author Notes: this is the first fanfic ever that I’m posting on tumblr, so if you guys could maybe leave a feedback I would appreciate it so much. It was based on a headcanon my friend told me, not expecting me to come back with a fully fleshed out fanfic, but that’s what she gets by talking about angst with me]

READ ON AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067774

Guys, if you read, please reblog

          Newton honestly couldn’t understand how his lab partner even breathed in the middle of all that chalk. Hermann was standing on a ladder, erasing his mathematic scribbles on the chalkboard. White dust was flying everywhere, forming a cloud in the air and landing on his clothes. Newt started coughing as soon as he stepped in. Startled, Hermann looked down, but once he noticed who it was, just climbed down the ladder - very slowly, because of his leg.

          "What are you doing up at such hours?“ He asked.

          "I know what I’m doing up. What are you doing up?” Newt grunted back. “Holy shit look at you. You look like a snowman. A really old one.”

          Newton wasn’t one to talk himself. His hair was a mess, and there were dark circles under his eyes. On top of that, all the bruises and cuts his body and face had acquired during the last 24 hours made him look like a very sleepy zombie.

          "It’s really satisfying to finally be able to clean all these boards.“ Answered Hermann, petulantly. “It’s comforting to know I won’t need all those equations anymore. That the war is finally over, and we are ready to move on.”

          Newt waved his head, impressed. He was about to congratulate his partner, when the man said:

          "Besides, I may had had too much black coffee. I really can’t sleep.“ He admitted. “So I’m trying to tire myself up.”

          "Never mind.“ Newt rolled his eyes. He sat on the worn out sofa in the middle of the lab, the one they used to mark where his working space ended and Hermann’s began. That sofa had kept them from engaging in slap battles against each other on several occasions.

          "So… what are you doing up?” Hermann asked again, moving on to the next board. “Didn’t the party tire you enough to sleep?”

          "I had a bad dream and just had to come and see you." Newt answered, attempting a charming smile. - "You know what I mean, right, Herm? Say, doesn't it feel good to finally know that..."

          Hermann raised an eyebrow. His face was showing confusion, and once Newton realized it, he stopped dead on his tracks. Oh, no, no way, it couldn't be...

          "The drift... you don't remember the..." Newt stuttered. "You have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh." He managed a quick recovery and rolled his eyes. "Forget it, then, dumbass."

          He was hurt, of course. Newt cursed to himself. Shouldn't a drift be a two-way road? Shouldn't Hermann know about those feelings he just found out he had for... Maybe it was the kaiju. Maybe the kaiju fucked up their drift, and Hermann didn't get to see and feel his thoughts the same way he felt his. Whatever. It's not like he cared.

          He remembered he was supposed to be explaining himself.

          "I had this weird, oddly real dream. I was falling… it felt like seconds, but took forever at the same time.“ Newt told. “And then I woke up with a blinding pain on my leg. My right leg.”

          Hermann stared at him, a confused expression in his face. His colleague was looking at him, hesitant.

          "Are you somehow talking about me?“

          "Kind of. I think I felt a side effect of our drift.” He said. “Mako told me she felt her arm hurt after she drifted with Raleigh. She said she could even feel his brother’s ghost through the drift. Said she felt the pain in his last moments, through Raleigh’s memories. Heck, it’s pretty gruesome if you think about it.”

          "Shit, Newt, I’m so sorry…“ Hermann stuttered. "I didn’t even consider that…”

          "It’s okay, I’m completely fine now.“ He assured. "But it hurt pretty bad, dude. How do you put up with that on a daily basis? Drugs? Is it drugs?” Newt blinked. “Hermann, is it drugs?”

          "I’m not Dr. House, idiot.“ Hermann crossed his arms. "I assure you, I barely even feel it. It’s just a distant, annoying pain. My leg is kinda stiff, but that is all. I’m just as normal as you are. ”

          "Alright, alright. I see…“ Newton thought. "Then maybe this pain I felt isn’t your everyday one.” He guessed. “I think maybe I felt the day of your accident.”

          "Oh.“ Hermann blinked. "Oh, that would be plausible. A lot of bad memories flashed before my eyes during that bloody hurricane we called a drift. I guess at least one must have stuck out.”

          "The thing is you never told me how it happened.“ Newt accused. "Once I asked, and you said you were just born like this.”

          Hermann froze. Well shit. He forgot about that.

          "You know it’s hard for me to talk about it…“ Hermann insisted.

          "Why don’t you tell me, dude? We’ve known each other for a long time.” Newt said. “We are friends again, now. We’re drift compatible, for fuck’s sake. Don’t you think that at this point we are close enough for that? Why act so goddamn repressed for no reason?”

          "Shut the fuck up, Newton, you have no idea what you’re…“ Hermann started yelling, but suddenly interrupted himself. He sighed, and stood quiet in the room, leaning heavily on his cane. He didn’t look up from the floor, and after a few seconds, Newt started to regret having talked altogether.

          "You know what, never mind.” He apologized. “I have no right to insist. It’s personal. I’m sorry.” He started getting up from the sofa.

          "No, wait! Wait.“ Hermann exclaimed. "Alright. You’re right.” Then he walked to the sofa and took a sit beside him. “I’m sorry, it’s been a really long time anyway, and I… I… I should have let this go already, right? I should just let this go.”

          Newton observed, with piqued interest, as Hermann picked up his cane and held it with both hands. Fidgeting a little, he began telling the story.

          "I was about 13 years old…“ He started. "My school had just won an international chess competition and they announced a party to celebrate. The teacher said there would be dancing, and we could ask someone to be our pair during it. And, uh, well, I had a crush. ”

          "You had a what now” Newt furrowed his brow. The idea of Hermann actually going through regular teenage things was almost alien.

          "I know. And a pretty cliché one, to be sincere.“ He admitted. “Curly blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin, you know the deal. Looked straight out of a disney movie.”

          Newt nodded, trying to take that in. Overall, sounded like an innocent beginning, for something that apparently ended bad.

          "We were together in the same math club, and had even talked a few times. So I gathered some courage and sent him a flower.“ Hermann continued. Despite the quite adorable image, his face had suddenly gone dark. "It had a little card attached to it, with my best handwritting, asking him to be my pair, and signed with my name. It was…” He muttered. “My complete, absolute worst mistake.”

          "Oh wait, it was a him.“ Newt remembered. "Of course it was, why did I think… oh wait."

          "Yes, and he was pretty grossed out that a boy had asked him out. He came complaining right to the teacher.” Hermann told. “Though I didn’t get in trouble for it, she wasn’t really the most open-minded person. No one there was, actually. She told me about how I should be ashamed of doing something like that in her school, and that I should have kept it to myself. And she yelled it, not caring about anyone that might listen. After that, I was exposed. I had been outed.”

          Newt nodded, sympathetically. He knew what it was like to be outed against his will. Situations like those didn’t often end well. It even got him fired from a job once.

          "But… I had always been the weird kid, you know. The nerd, the weirdo… I was an easy target.“ Hermann proceeded. "Only now the teachers didn’t care. I didn’t matter to them anymore. They started ignoring all my cries for help. This is why the situation escalated so much. This is why… it’s…”

          He covered his mouth with a hand, and Newt could see he was choking back tears. His face had gone pale.

          "Hey man, uhh…“ he stuttered. "Listen, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just leave it, okay, I’m sorr…”

          "They pushed me off the roof.“ Hermann finished. His voice was deathly serious. Newt interrupted himself mid-sentence.

          "Oh no…”

          "It wasn’t enough for them to beat me up. To steal my things. They had to go far with it, to teach me my place. Right in front of a teacher, who pretended not to notice.“ Hermann cried. "It was only one floor, but it hurt bad enough for me to still remember. I broke my leg in three different spots. I never fully recovered from that.”

          His fingers were white from gripping the cane so hard. He was facing the floor, his eyes covered by his hair, but Newt could still see tears beginning to drip.

          "It’s all in the past now. I should have let this go. I should just…“ Hermann muttered, more to himself than his colleague. "I will let this go. I will leave…”

          Newton felt his face burn with shame. God, why didn’t he just stay in his lane. He was curious, he was nosy, and now Hermann was crying. It was all his fault. In a moment of panic, the only thought he had was that he had to comfort him somehow. And this is why he abruptly held his hands.

          Hermann looked up, startled by the sudden physical contact. Newt saw the opportunity to meet his eyes, that now shared a trait with his. He touched his face.

          "I know there’s a lot of cruelty in the world. Specially to people like us.“ He said. He could feel his heart pounding with anxiety, the feeling he might have crossed a boundary, and the fear that he was about to say something he wasn’t ready to acknowledge. Still, he kept talking.” But, Hermann, it doesn’t have to always be like this. We’ve seen, first hand, what respect between people could accomplish. What kindness could accomplish, what cooperation could… what love could… shit…“ he stuttered. "Hermann, I… I… if I told you that I…”

          "You don’t have to say it.“ Hermann answered. He leaned in for a hug, and held Newton as tightly as he could. He returned the embrace, his eyes now tearing up as well. "You don’t have to say it, I already know.” Hermann whispered. “I already know.”

          The piece of shit, Newton thought. He did remember.

[tonidorsay]

Ok, Tumblr peeps... ya'll are tough and cynical, but hey...

Yeah, I know. Fuckin Boomers fuck the world, the Xers do jack but watch it, and now you gotta clean that shit up while paying fucking debts or working for one third what they made at the same job.

So you know I wrote a book. I am writing more of them. Not the boring ass trans shit book that none of ya want, but a fun book about magical girls and stuff.

Only, it isn’t all that fun all the time.

You see, the Girls are fighting the Agents of Oblivion. Oblivion is the personification of his name, and that means he’s the end of everything.

He even has five Riders, because he thinks Apocalypse is a candy ass and that other guy is distracted.

But before we get to them, we gotta uncover what’s going on.

So, let’s talk about villains for a moment.

Oppression. Be it misogyny or transphobia or racism or the rest, it is always an expression of a formula.

I express that formula directly: Anxiety/Aversion/Animus, singly or in any combination plus social power is how oppression works.

Now, social power stems from those things which act to limit or hinder individual Agency – social power is Structure.

What if all those things were demigods?

Lesser powers, their will bent towards service of their masters?

Anxiety, Aversion, and Animus are The Three. This cycle of effort to bring Oblivion through, they are the major leaders. They played a role previously, but they didn’t succeed because they served other forces.

They are partnered with The Five: Apathy, Avarice, Deceit, Privilege, and Stigma.

The Five are the ringleaders of the larger group known as The Structure.

All of them have lesser demigods working for them.

Anxiety, for example, has Humiliation, Disrespect, Inadequacy, Alienation, and Terror working for him.

Animus has Aggression, Frustration, Insecurity, Envy, and Hate. Those last two have been around a very long while – they were Known in Ancient Greece. You might recall a less flattering version of Strife, who has gone solo, from the Disney Hercules.

He’s still pissed about that. Which might be why there has been so much of him in the Disney back offices and leadership team over the last several years…

There are over 60 of these buggers on the sheet I am referencing that lays out all the ways they work and interconnect.

One of Stigma’s Lieutenants has jumped ship, though. Seems he both wised up to the fact that when Oblivion comes, they all go to, but moreso it seems his power is not as influential as it once was – he is disrepute.

You may get to know him as Alley.

Avarice is the de facto head at present, and one of the most Powerful. So powerful he may just have assumed a role as a person on Earth. And be influencing events more directly.

Any of this sounding vaguely familiar?

Feel like you are living in a world that is controlled and dominated by demigods who corrupt people with miasmas and humours?

These are the folks that the Contras are fighting. Sometimes they are easy. Lazy or distracted or overconfident. Sometimes they are hard.

But they are Gods, able to twist reality and warp things, and as the gals climb the ladder towards the Tower, they will fight more and more of them.

Sometimes they will be joined by The Party. The Party is the West Coast magical guy team.

Yes, you read that right. Magical guys. And they will be done straight. Gay, trans, one AceAro who has a dark sense of humor.

Sometimes they will be joined by the Rebels, who have been at this a lot longer, as they gained their powers when they were in their early teens. They are on the East Coast. Vermont, specifically.

Oh, I should note that two of this team are a couple, and the black gal is Justice and the other gal is Liberty, and yeah…

Trans gal on that team, too.

I absolutely promise that Nazis get punched (one gets a full missile launcher shot at him in the first book!), and there will be two occasions where the orange one gets what is coming to him. As well as his cronies.

I can also state that apparently, and over my objections, later in the series we will see giant robots and we will see Kaiju. I was trying very hard not to let that happen, but, well, you know how villains are,

Motherfuckers do not know when to give up. Specially these villains, who more often than not understand that monologuing is bad, and killing them is more fun if it hurts a lot.

ContraMagica is a 300 plus page Outline spanning at least 11 books.

It may take the form of a light novel and the conventions of the magical girl and magical idol genres, but it is a full on, hard core, old style fairy tale structured within the Hero’s journey that has given us Epic Fantasy works from Lord of the Rings to Harry Potter to Song of fire and ice and more.

Except, for once, all the lead characters are women, and both women of color and lgbt women are everywhere.

If you have ever read my what is series, you likely know I understand this stuff on the “academic” level. You probably know that I get these things better than pretty much 98% of our haters.

This is what happens when you take those things and put them into a really fun story. One that is inspired by Ghibli films and Ghost in the shell and Madoka and Yuki Yuna and the darker stuff but still brings out the light.

Maybe you hear me talk about girl power and you think, oh fuck no, not more of this live and peace and kindness crap.

Well, this isn’t that kind of girl power.

When you get a moment, go out and do some research. Seriously. Go out and find twenty five characteristics that define what the fuck Girl power really if. Broaden your search into the power of the feminine, too.

It will take effort. Because the vast majority of it is either Terf shit that stops at three things or religious shit that stops at five or a bled of both that says smile bitch and say thank you when he pulls out.

Sorry, that doesn’t do shit for me.

But there is value in womanhood, in the bonds of it and the aspects of it that need not be opposite of or complementary to masculinity.

And toxic masculinity is rampant, as well.

I had to figure that out. I had to dive into it and go beyond the silly shit and let me tell ya, I got 40 elements of Girl Power.

That change things in a subversive way that you know I love.

That is the power of these gals.

But wait!

Even after all of that, and I know ya’ll are like “yawn, yeah, whatevs”, there are a couple more things…

Each of these gals has five romantic aspects to them. Over the course of the novels, they will explore these, from crushes to the two separate romantic leads for each on, to the person who keeps making stuff hard, and to the friend who is there for them.

Yeah, even the Ace lead. She’s Ace, but she’s not Aro. But she has more going on, and what you might think is her basis for being Ace ain’t it.

And then, of course, these women are not whole people. The Contras don’t have the happy background of your usual Magical girl. All of them had lives that sucked, lives that hurt and broke and pushed them.

Remember, again, I am both a sociologist and a psychologist. These gals have issues. And I am just starting to explore them. For instance, there is a moment mentioned in book one where Lark, who is easily the baddest black magical girl I know, with her everyday goth look and her Victorian plus maid powered gear and her snakes and Houdon force and old brujha, is accosted by guys on Campus and is pretty much unable to respond and it falls to the Latina gal to come in and scare them off.

Why would she be that way? Why did Tally spend forty plus years waiting for mr right, and what happened that she might do it again?

These are gals with issues you will recognize.

This is ContraMagica. It isn’t going to be PreCure or Sailor Moon (neither of which I have seen more than two episodes of, btw, lol).

It is everything I have in me – all of it – poured out for you, but cleverly disguised as a kick ass magical girl superhero women’s story hidden in the YA field.

That is all of it. If you still go meh, well, I at least tried, lol.

But tell people about this. Let them know that I have five years or less locked down of my life to tell this massive story, and if I am lucky, maybe make a bit (seriously, a buck a book is what most authors make on trade paperbacks retail, so it takes like everyone to make an HP).

It isn’t great art. Not war and peace.

But i like to think it’s a going to be a great read.

[lilietsblog]

one punch man 10-12: the aliens

huh its episode 10 already man this anime is so short is it flashback time yet?

hi terrible Godzilla oh yeah its the S class introduction time

gotta love that theres actually competent military in this anime why is it such a rare thing jfc

seriously tho Saitama's superpower is NOT superstrength, that's just now how physics works I think he has sped up perception, and I suspect he had that to a degree even before he started his training, judging from how easily he managed to take on the crab guy, if not all of it but what his strength training gave him (awakened in him?) was basically reality warping no wonder he's bored: he ACTUALLY REALLY doesn't have to put any kind of effort into his punches, as it's not his physical strength that's doing any work there, it's literally reality bending to accomodate him that has got to suck reality warping ennui I love my egg son

I love how all of these monsters demand acknowledgement and don't just try and step on pesky human distractions that ignore them

okay yeah this dude did end up just trying to step on her

man Tornado is freakishly powerful and that's amazing

HI OLD MAN DUDE OMG SAITAMA AND GENOS ARE HERE

Genos oh come on you really should learn some self-defense actually

this sounds like an anime reference I'm not getting

I love that Silverfang at least appreciates Saitama's actual power

and Genos is just inviting Saitama to tag along this is adorable

I love how completely fucking extra all the heroes are and how ridiculous Saitama's low key normalcy looks by contrast

poor Tornado she's amazing but since she's only summoned for appropriate level threats it's not even interesting to be amazing

Watchdog Man is amazing

man you are so dramatic maybe start with explanations jfc there is no logic to this order of operations SAITAMA GOT HIS TEA IT'S FROM STARBUCKS IT'S HILARIOUS awww I love this cute lil bad boy who skipped his lil sis's piano recital )=

madame Shibabawa CHOKED ON A COUGHING PILL

poor Saitama not knowing anything I love how casual he is about asking what he doesn't know I wouldn't have managed >_>

you call it right Child Emperor this is very ridiculous granted the meeting holder dude is probably right but he's being very ineffectual about it

Saitama jfc why

IM REALLY GLAD HE GOT INTERRUPTED

oh yeah this is a completely irrelevant bunch of baddies isnt it

OH YEAH THESE ARE THE ACTUAL BAD GUYS GEE 'IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS' SURE DID TURN OUT TO BE SOON so yeah thats why the meeting holder dude was right

I love how much attention this anime cares to pay to civilians in trouble

man guys you should have hidden in that rut together instead of getting out

the knight guy is awesome

man thats... not all of city A that was destroyed

ahaha Saitama didn't wait for everyone my socially awkward egg acts on his own out of sync with anything <3 i can relate so much

man my favorite thing about this final fight is that it's going to involve collaboration it's not just 'Saitama saves the day' because he's just one person like with the fish king, Saitama was only able to save anyone because other heroes were there first and here there are multiple battles to be fought these dudes are important too

wow his stump sure isn't bleeding out

hey the swords at least slow the monster down that's not nothing

man this samurai dude is hella cool this entire squad is hella cool footsoldiers are important and I love this anime

I love that the kids are in front here it's a terrible idea and yet in context who's going to say no

jfc King you are way too fast to give up

sorry Genos this is a child

I love the peacemaker dude tho

ahaha Saitama is already inside I love him

oh dude you sure are confident in yourself

SAITAMA IS SPREADING DESTRUCTION a thing he's good at

man this guy's design is SO TOTALLY A REFERENCE

...so the flashback stuff is probably side material that I haven't downloaded isn't it

whatever, I'll just continue the liveblog

man this ending is nice it's just pure aesthetic, and it's such a nice grounding one the Earth that Saitama lives on, which is the same one we all do

hi humanization of the enemy to them, Saitama is the kaiju and yeah he kinda is reality warping powers do that

aww Saitama is not very good at finding vital parts of the ship to destroy eh

Saitama makes for an awesome creepypasta really an unstoppable juggernaut

...I really want OPM to become an endless shounen series it's worth it and it has political setup enough for SO MUCH to happen it features a cast FULL of people very ready for exploration and convoluted plots the first season feels like BARELY A PROLOGUE in what could be the grand scheme of thing

GUYS THE FUCK YOU DOING THERE PLEASE EVACUATE

hi Hammerhead!!! I love you!!! omfg is that your actual first name oooomg

omfg THIS GUY I LOVE YOU TOO I REMEMBER AND LOVE YOU

this show's unwillingness to kill anyone off IS AWESOME

hi Sonic <3 I still love your oni face

I love that the knight guy looks middle aged with wrinkles and all

YOO NICE OJI-SAN

GOOD JOB DISRUPTING COMMUNICATIONS BOI

GO SAITAMA WRECK SHIT

I LOVE THE BAD BOY HERO SO MUCH REALLY I LOVE THIS ENTIRE SQUAD AND THE MUSIC IS EPIC AND THE KNIGHT KEEPS WORRYING I LOVE HIM

sorry coordinator dude that's S class heroes for you

welp bye bye dude that's the batter figuring shit out <3

man poor coordinator dude he's trying his best

I love Saitama and his low key shit I love how the navigator TRIES HIS BEST Saitama is ONE SMART COOKIE oh man this dude can actually look hella intimidating

yeah the downside of telekinesis as a combat power is that you still need to have something to telekinesis unless you can just straight up telekinesis your foes i guess

oh hey gravity manipulation nice

sorry due Saitama's power is basically no sell of any other powers its kinda sad

ahaha hes breaking his own ship now

man this supreme telekinetic power sure isn't used to actual direct combat ....yeah he's ridiculously weak kidna

awww cute lil aliens

awww Child Emperor! <3

ah yes! this is what Tornado is for!

and Mumen Rider on the ground you is good job!!! i love that they give him spotlight so fucking much you have no idea this really is an anime exploring the idea of heroes

AW YIS MY GIRL FUCKING WRECK EM THIS IS EFFICIENT COOPERATION

AND TORNADO TRASH TALKS THEM YOU TELL EM GIRL YOU DESERVE THIS GLOAT

guys with indirect powers wait for guys with direct powers to give them a chance

AW YIS SMALL FRY HEROES COMING TO SEARCH&RESCUE THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE

I'm still amazed the Knight is still alive guess his power is some sort of invulnerability/healing

dude if you forget the defense and focus on attack they still outnumber you this would have worked better when you still had many heads

AW YEAH BOSS ENCOUNTER (SUCH A REFERENCE)

SAITAMA LOOKING DANGEROUS AS FUCK GOD JOB YOU IS

Saitama is like a white hole infinite energy he just makes his own

I love how Saitama is still not used to the change of his status from hobbyist to professional it's the small details that make it <3

ahh and this is the kind of fight Saitama wanted isn't it?

haha twenty years yeah strength training had fuckall to do with it Saitama had this potential since babyhood

I LOVE SAITAMA'S COMMON SENSE YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND ATTACKING SHIT TO ALLEVIATE BOREDOM HE'S FAMILIAR WITH THIS PROBLEM VERY MUCH

I LOVE THE EGG SHOT JFC <33333333

man Saitama's low key-ness looks really badass here best egg

I love that Saitama's movement isn't even running particularly well, it's just walking really really fast

awww Saitama's come to not expect much by now <3

haha sorry dude you're now match for Tornado's firepower hope she's got some way to watch out for civilians would be invaluable for search&rescue if she were free for it rn

oh hey Drive Knight there sure are lots of knights here huh

oh and it was Metal Knight who destroyed the town huh was he the dude who came in to test his weaponry against the meteor?

yup dude sorry outnumbered

so guys you might want to get the fuck out from under the ship now

I love the badass opening music this is Saitama's true potential too bad the plot isn't about it

lol I love how they both have pretty low expectations for each other

this dude is about to bring down his own ship heh

OMG SAITAMA DIDN'T NO SELL THAT THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING sorry dude Saitama has power beyond his own conception too

yeah you can heal yourself but Saitama wasn't hurt

man his pants are baggy and look hilarious

wow holy fuck and Saitama's method of surviving is ragdoll roll with it as much as possible I do that in the car to avoid motion sickness on bumpy roads

AND YEP HERE IT IS SAITAMA IS ON THE MOON HAHAHAHA HE IS NOT BREATHING AND THERE IS NO SOUND SAITAMA ARE YOU GOING TO PUSH MOON OUT OF ITS ORBIT NOPE JUST DESTROY A CHUNK OF SURFACE

aww hey dude vulnerable after all where Saitama just isn't

sorry Tornado you're awesome but that wasn't you

this dude is strong but he isn't Saitama fast he's not even Sonic fast just very strong

CONSECUTIVE NORMAL PUNCHES NICE NOT ENOUGH STILL SAITAMA MUST BE SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW (and yet vaguely dissatisfied still because something in his brain chemistry still isn't making this as awesome as it should have been)

I love Saitama's creative names Serious Punch

I love that Saitama never taunts, never doesn't talk to his foes he doesn't dehumanize them, ever

well yeah okay that was pretty curb stomp sorry dude but you still entertained Saitama more than anyone else ever managed to

I hope poor little alien crew members survive alright ^^;

aww and the master picks up his knight

TORNADO CAN'T YOU HOLD THE SHIP A LITTLE well whatever

oh hey Amai Mask who the fuck even are you dude what the fuck shut up? I love the bad boy he's saying it like it is dude they literally saved the Earth and everything that wasn't wiped out in a single strike???

Amai is an actual supervillain here isn't he

mm he could be S rank I see

oh hey Metal Knight there sure are a lot of supervillains holed up at the top of the Hero Organization huh well I mean it makes as much sense as anything to recruit anyone sane enough to come in

ALIEN SURVIVORS <3

WHAT THE FUCK AMAI WHY LOCAL LIGHT YAGAMI OR WHAT

awww Genos really has found balance with Saitama

so is Saitama already home or what ah nope there he is <3

Tornado you naive muffin

OMFG SAITAMA IS ABSOLUTELY HELPLESS IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS AND CALLS GENOS IN FOR HELP THEY ARE SUCH GREAT PARTNERS

'history-making events, the top stories for days' yeah i guess in this kind of world there's nothing to do but keep reconstructing and ignore the losses )=

OPTION TO LIVE AT HEADQUARTERS YEAH THAT REALLY NEEDED TO BE A THING ALREADY

anyway I love this anime

[brooktrout96]

A Tale of Two Learning About What it Means to be Family

Chapter 2 of The Deeper The Darkness The More Dazzling The Light Shines!

AO3 is Here

A unusual side-effect happens to Izuku and Zero

Note:  Italics detonate when Zero is talking to Izuku as a spirit and when Izuku is talking back to Zero in his thoughts

“Izuku, wake up!”

Izuku had just got the acceptance letter to Yūei the day before and found out that he got in and that All Might would be teaching at Yūei and he was exhausted from the excitement from getting into Yūei.

Why? Can’t I sleep a little longer.” The boy mumbled

“No Izu, you need to get up cause we have a big problem and I already had to lie to you mom about this.” Izuku set up as he saw himself standing over him. He fumbled out of bed landing on the floor of his room in shock

“What the hell!”

“Language, Green Bean but my thoughts exactly.” Izuku began to mutter as Zero let out a sigh. “Ultras don’t normally need a host but a lot of them prefer to take one but the ones that don’t like my father or Mebius for instance take a human form base upon a human that they met before.”

“But why did you take a human form, then. You don’t need it, since you and I share a body as host and Ultra, right?”

Zero nodded his head. “Yes, I honestly think it’s a side effect of One For All but I have no clue since we know very little about it’s history.” He then let’s out a sigh. “I honestly think we need to let All Might into this secret.”

“You think he’ll keep it a secret?” Izuku asked

“No, I know that he will, I mean come on Izuku, he gave you One For All, a secret that if he didn’t need a successor because of his injuries, he probably would’ve taken to the grave or kept longer then he did.”

“Right, right.” He pulled out his phone and dialed the number that the number one hero had gave him in case of emergencies and dialed it. It went right to voicemail, so Izuku left a message for him. “Hey, you asked me to call if I had any question about ‘It’ and something weird happened and I think you need to see it to believe it. So, can we meet at Takoba Beach this afternoon to talk about it.” He ended the call as he looked at Zero. “So, you mentioned that you told my mom a lie. What was it?”

“I told her that I was a ability of your Quirk, which I am in a way, and that my name is Shin Moroboshi. She took one look at me and said that ‘Izuku, now has an older brother.’ So, I think maybe once you get settled into going to Yūei we tell her the truth about who and what I am.”

“Okay, okay…” Izuku smiled, “Let's get going then.”

~***~

All Might or Toshinori Yagi has seen many things as the Symbol of Peace, the eighth holder of One For All and the number one hero. He had seen and fought the greatest evil and won, not with out injuries but he still won.

He had gotten young Midoriya’s call asking meeting him at Takoba Beach as he walked up, he saw Midoriya sitting in the sand with his back turned to look out to the sea. He put his hand on his shoulder.

“I am here, young Midoriya! You said you had some questions for me about ‘it’.” It referring to One For All. Midoriya jumped in fright at his booming and landed an One For All infused punch on the injured Number One Hero as the punch was strong enough to make him return to his true form

Shin!” A familiar voice yelled as soon as All Might had recovered from the young man’s attack. He paused and looked at the two Midoriya’s, one was laughing as the other was scolding the one that punched him

He must’ve hit his head when he was punched by young Midoriya to the point that he was seeing double. The two Midoriya looked at him with a concern look on their face

“All Might, are you alright?” The Midoriya on the right as he turned to the other Midoriya. “Shin, why did you do that?”

“Sorry that is my first reaction to someone sneaking up on me.” The other Midoriya let out a sigh as he continued to scold the one, that he called Shin. All Might was worried that Shin was from abusive home with the reaction that he had to him.

Then that leaves the other Midoriya to be his successor. “Sorry about that, All Might” Young Midoriya sheepishly said as he glared at Shin. “The reason I called you about One For All is well.” He pointed to Shin. “Him.”

The boy, Shin turned to look at him and he had a soft smile on his. “Sorry about attacking you, All Might, you scared me and my common reaction to being startled is to attack, just a side effect of my training.” He paused as All Might studied the boy.

He looks a lot like Izuku, though he’s a lot taller. He looks to be 6’0 while Izuku is 5’5. Like Izuku, Shin has a round face that is framed by a short mess of fluffy emerald green hair that stuck up at odd angles more so then Izuku’s hair did. His eye were the biggest tell that Shin wasn’t Izuku, his eyes were this orangeish yellow that seem to be hiding something, he also didn’t have the freckles that Izuku has. Shin was wearing a blue, red, and silver hoodie, black pants, and red shoes

 “My name is Shin Moroboshi, Izuku and I are sharing a body.”

Shin began to tell the story of how before he became a hero, he was a young warrior with unlimited potential lacking any sense of purpose that was seduced by the allure of power, but was stopped by the father he never knew. How he learned of the purpose of an Ultra during the harsh training that was his punishment.

How he traveled threw dimensions for the first time, forming alliances with the likes of Glenfire, Mirror Knight, and Jean-Bot to deal with Kaiser Belial, the same villain he had thought he had destroyed.

How he ended up on another different earth that had almost all it’s population kidnapped, and where a man by the name of Shin Asuka had been protecting the remaining people as Ultraman Dyna. That it took the power of the three Ultras (Cosmos, Dyna, and himself) to take down the powerful Alien Bat and his Kaiju

How he had gained the same ability that Dyna and Cosmos had, called Form Change and then his arch-rival possessed him and he became Zero Darkness as Belial used his own power to slay the Ultra Force Zero. How he fell into despair and helplessness as he watched himself kill his friends, one right after another, but was able to overcome the darkness

How he watched an earth get completely destroyed by Belial and then restored by Ultraman King. How six year later, he returned to the same earth, and help the young Ultra, Ultraman Geed (who was a clone of his arch-rival) protect the planet from the young Ultra’s own “father.”

How he returned to the same earth, several years later chasing after and saved the daughter of his previous host (Mayu) from being killed by a Kaiju’s attack. That they found a young clone that was eerily similar to Geed but a child and how Geed and all their friends raise the kid

How Belial’s DNA became a common black-market items in many worlds and how a trio of Ultras were protecting Tokyo from Kaijus’ attacks and how he reunited with Mayu and helped the trio of Ultras fight off an Imit-Belial and another evil Ultra by the name of Tregear

How he reluctantly took on a student named Zett, and chased after Devil Splinters, crystalize DNA of Belial. How they were separated by an dimension Kaiju called Bullton that was thrown towards him by another Kaiju and ended up in the fourth dimension until he was able to break free to help his student and Geed fight against a powerful fusion-Kaiju

How he had found Izuku unconscious on the beach, thinking he was dead but in the end, he wasn’t. How Izuku being his host gave him a power boost, and also seemed to boost the power of One For All, and how when he didn’t have the physical form, he could take control of Izuku’s body to help him fight

“That is my story, All Might, now it is your choice to believe it.” Shin looked the man straight in the eye. “Now what you do with this information is up to you.”

His successor and the “Ultra” stared at him waiting for his answer. “Young Midoriya, young Moroboshi, this is a lot to take in and I honestly don’t know what to believe.”

“I’m glad that Izuku and I were experimenting with what I can do in this form.” Shin muttered, there was a flash of light and standing where Shin once was, was  a suit of armor, it was red and blue with silver accents with two strange horn things on its head. On his chest was a blue light, that is a lighter shade of blue then the blue on its body

All Might looked at the armored warrior as he let out a sigh as there was another flash of light as Shin returned in the warrior place.

“Please All Might, it’s not only you who can’t believe what going on. Ultras have a choice on either take a human form or finding a host not both. So, you can see why I’m so confused.”

“I’ll believe you for now.”

Shin gave a soft smile to All Might. “That all I can wish from you, All Might.”

~***~

Izuku and Shin entered the Midoriya’s household as Inko greeted them with a smile on her face. “Izuku how was meeting your mentor?”

“It was good except.” He glared over at Shin, who sheepishly gave a smile and rubbed the back of his head. “Shin punched him.”

“I told you it was a reflex! I don’t like being snuck up on, Izuku.” Izuku let out a laugh and he smiled as Inko hide a soft smile as she hadn’t seen her son this happy since before, he was told he had no Quirk, that he was apart of the 20%. Now that Shin appeared and Izuku’s Quirk has manifested. He was happiest that he’d ever been

Zero never really had a family, his dad hid who he was from him until that fateful battle with Belial, that made it hard for Zero and his old man to get close. The Minatos and the Igaguri were the closet thing he had to a real family, meeting up with them once in a while to have a family day when he could and wasn’t to busy saving the world and now Inko and Izuku were coming a close third with how they were treating him like a family member. It made him smile a little when ever he thought of it.

He thinks he could get use to this.

~***~

Izuku was full of bondless energy, since today was his first day at Yūei. The night before Zero had figured out that he could switch from his “Shin” form back to the sprit form he had been prior and Zero decided to sit on his head as they took the train to the nearest station to Yūei. Izuku paused as they turned around to look down at all the building of Musutafu.

“Are you ready for your first day as an hero-in-training?”

“Yeah!” Izuku grinned, “Let’s do this!” He walked into the school and began to search for classroom 1-A. He paused as he found the door to the classroom as he took in how big door was. “Well… this door is humongous, guess it’s an ‘inclusive design’.”

“You know I think All Might would have to bend over to use this door, now. I wonder if he had to when he was in school?” Zero wonder to himself as Izuku put his hand on the door knob.

“I’ll be alongside the chosen few who passed the exam, Zero. I’ll I can hope is that those two ended up in 1-B.” He paused as he took a deep breath and opened the door as he  heard the tail end of an argument between Bakugo and the boy from the entrance exam

“Don’t put your legs on the desk! Don’t you think that’s disrespectful toward your classmates!?”

“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t think so. Which middle school are you from anyways, you two-bit extra?!”

“A private sch- ahem. I’m from Soumei Junior High School. The name’s Iida Tenya.” Bakugo scoffed as Iida introduced him.

 “Soumei, well aren’t you an elite seems I’ve got a reason to fucking end you after all!”

Izuku slinked back into the doorway but not before Iida caught a glimpsed of him and walked over towards him. “Hello, I’m Iida Tenya from Soumei.”

Izuku gave the man a smile. “Yeah.” He let out a laugh, “I overheard. Uh, I’m Midoriya, nice to meet you, Iida.”

“You know if I didn’t know better, I would think he was a robot with how he moves.” Izuku ignore Zero mumbling as his comment was more to himself then to Izuku as Iida continued to speak.

“Midoriya I must hand it to you, you divined the actual nature of the practical exam, didn’t you? I was blind to it and I completely misread you! I hate to admit it, but you were the better man!” Izuku was shocked as he hadn’t really did anything worthy of Iida’s praise.

“Ah! It’s you curly-hair kid! Glad I found you!” Izuku turned and saw the girl that he had saved from the Zero Pointer.

“If you’re gonna be hunting for buddies do it elsewhere.” Izuku felt like he should know who this hero is but is being thrown off by the bright yellow sleeping bag

“Heroes need friend that help them become a better hero.” Zero muttered to himself as his heart was racing from the appearance of the “yellow sleeping bag caterpillar”

“This is the department…” He pulled out a jelly pack from his sleeping bag and ate it. “of heroics”

The class all froze with the same thought. “Who the hell is this guy?”

The man in the sleeping bag stood up and took the sleeping bag off. “Hmm, it took you lot eight seconds to quiet down. Life is short, kids. You’re all lacking in common sense.”

“So, he must be a pro hero, but I’ve never heard of him. He looks so washed-up.” Izuku thought as Zero chimed in

“I think I’ve meet him on my route.” Zero as Shin had been going out at night fighting crime as a vigilante. “I think his hero name is Eraserhead.” Zero saying the name finally made it click in Izuku’s head who his homeroom teacher is.

“I’m your homeroom teacher, Aizawa Shota. Pleasure meeting you.”

“Our homeroom teacher is the Erasure Hero, Eraserhead.” Izuku said to Zero, “Very little is know about him since he is an Underground Hero. It’s said that he was apart of the heroes that helped during the Sky Egg Bombing incident seven year ago alongside a couple of vigilantes.”

“Hm.”  

Aizawa is digging around in his sleeping bag and he pulled out a pair of dark blue pants with white vertical lines going up the legs and a dark blue short sleeve shirt with white lines that form the letters 'U' and 'A'.

“Wear these, immediately and then shove off to the PE grounds.”

~***~

“A Quirk apprehension test!?” The class yelled in confusion.

“What about the opening ceremony and the guidance counselor meeting?” The girl asked their home room teacher.

“If you want to be heroes, we don’t have time for frilly niceties.” He turned to look at the class, “You all understand the school’s reputation for freedom of campus. Well that ‘freedom’ goes the teachers, too.”

He walked over to a basket of softballs. “Softball pitch, standing long jump, 50-meter dash, endurance running, grip strength test, sustained sideways jumps, upper body exercises, and the seated toe-touch, these are all activities you know from middle school naturally. They are physical test where you were barred from using your Quirks.”

Zero and Izuku zone out until Aizawa turned and to Bakugou. “Bakugou, how far could you pitch a softball in middle school?”

“67 meters.”

“Try using your quirk this time around as long as you don’t exit the circle, anything you do is fine.” Bakugou got ready to throw. “Don’t hold back.”

“You’ve got it” Bakugou let the ball go flying as he yell out “Die!”

Zero stared at the boy that Izuku called Kacchan and let out a sigh as Aizawa spoke. “Before anything else, one must know what they’re capable of.” Aizawa turned his phone and showed them that Bakugo’s ball went 705.2 meters. “This is a rational metric that will form the basis of your ‘hero foundation.’”  

Izuku was sweating as someone would get expelled if then didn’t do well enough and he had a feeling it would be him but Zero was the voice of encouragement as he did the tests. After the ball throw, Bakugou decided to go after Izuku

“Izuku, Bakugou is coming after you.” Zero muttered as Izuku was ready to dodge

“What is this, Deku?! Explain now, shit rag!”  Bakugo was wrapped in a cloth stopping him in his tracks before he could get anywhere close to Izuku. “Shit! What is this cloth, I can’t…!”

“It’s a ‘capture weapon’ made of carbon fibers and a special alloy wire.” Aizawa hadn’t blinked in a while and it was creeping Zero out a bit. “Geez, stop using your Quirk already, I’m getting dry eye over here.”

Class 1-A Homeroom Teacher

Shota Aizawa

He can erase the Quirk of anyone he looks at but effects ends when he blinks

The class had finally finished all eight test and it was time to see who was ranked the worst and would be getting expelled from the class.

“Oh yeah, that whole ‘expulsion’ thing was a lie.” The class was in shock as Aizawa continued to speak. “It was a logical ruse to pull out your best performances.”

“What!”

One of the girls shook her head and said. “C’mon guys use your brains! Of course, it was just a ruse!”

“And right she is. With that it’s over, your curriculum sheets are back in the classroom so give them a once-over

~***~

Izuku let out a exhausted sigh as he got ready to head home for the day as Iida and him began to chat as they walk to the train station

“Hey, you two! You guys are heading towards the station, right? Then wait for me!” Uraraka caught to the duo

“You’re that ‘infinity’ girl.”

“I mean the names not wrong but she dose have a name.” Both Zero and Izuku thought as Uraraka gave a big smile as she introduced herself to Iida.

“Hi, I’m Uraraka Ochako! You’re uh, ‘Iida Tenya’ and if I’m not mistaken ‘Midoriya Deku’!

“Deku!? No, no my name is Midoriya Izuku.”

“Eh? Wasn’t that what that Bakugou kid called you or the like.”

“Uraraka, ‘Deku’ is just what Kacchan calls me to demean me.”

“Oh, so it’s an insult!?”

Uraraka had a frowned on her face. “Eh, for real!? Sorry but you know, I kinda like ‘Deku’ for you! It gives me a sorta ‘never-give up’ feeling.”

“What, are you sure Uraraka?”

“Yep!”

[avelera]

If it's not to late, I'd love to see your take on the soft prompt “You haven’t laughed in a long time, and I guess I was staring ‘cause I forgot how that looked like.”

To the shock of absolutely no one, this got longer than I expected. I hope you enjoy! 

Edit: I actually posted this on the wrong prompt, mea culpa! 

You can find the full series that goes with this fic here.

Ship: Newt/Hermann

Fandom: Pacific Rim (post-Uprising)

Words: 3,150

—

Stay

The final days of the infection were brutal. The Precursors had lost their hold over Newt bit by bit as the time stretched since his last Drift with the hive mind, but that only seemed to make them more desperate.

At times, Hermann truly feared they’d shake Newton apart, or simply kill him out of spite as they struggled and clawed after their waining control. No one dared let Newt out of his cell even as his lucid moments stretched, in case they chose that moment to come roaring back. The effort of will to force them back down again often left Newton trembling and bathed in sweat.

It had been three months since his last incident when the PPDC dared to let him out of the quarantine to walk under his own power to the medical bay for the final scans. The first scans upon his capture had shown a storm of activity in his cerebrum, it was a wonder Newt hadn’t had a stroke from the level of chaos of two consciousnesses fighting for control of his body. Hermann’s knuckles were white from gripping his cane as he waited for the results, watching the doctors as they consulted the images while Newt sat in the locked holding room, looking down at his folded hands.

He was quieter these days than Hermann ever remembered, one might even say subdued. The Newton he had known could never sit still for ten minutes, much less an hour, without jiggling his leg, interjecting some comment, doodling, or tapping out a melody with his fingers. Perhaps it was one mark of his ordeal, a scar, that he had learned silence.

Hermann was Newton’s designated caretaker, had been officially since Newt’s first lucid moment when he’d squeaked out an affirmative from beneath the weight of their control, enough to count as consent. The doctors came to Hermann first now, and he struggled to his feet, as ungainly as a turtle rolling off its shell in the rush to see the scans. Newt watched him, he could feel his eyes through the glass, a twitch of apprehension in the tightening of his jaw.

“The scans are clear, for the most part,” said the doctor, a Dr. Abadi, a distinguished woman a few years older than Hermann. She gestured to a cloud of activity on the scan. “When Jaeger pilots who have lost their partner exhibit this level of activity, we generally consider them out of the woods with regards to suicide risk or other dangerous behavior. Most described the echo of their partner as manageable at that point, an intrusive thought rather than a controlling impulse. Dr. Geiszler’s situation is unusual but, combined with observation, I would consider this grounds to recommend his return to civilian life. Albeit with regular check-ins and light observation, which you would be qualified to carry out, Dr. Gottlieb.”

Hermann exhaled slowly to try to control the spike of his heartbeat, the leap of hope. “When would that be?”

“We could release him into your custody now if you keep to your residence on the base,” Abadi said. “Going beyond these grounds however would require further clearance from the PPDC.”

At those words, Hermann felt suddenly dizzy. He muttered his way through the rest of the paperwork, guides, and assurances by the doctor, but could not stop stealing glances at Newton in the next room. It felt like an eternity before the door was unlocked and he was left alone with Newton.

“So, what’s the damage?” Newt said lightly but his shoulders tensed. They were always dancing around each other, careful not to delve too deeply into what existed between them. Things like the fact that Hermann knew the only time Newton cried the day of the attacks was when his fingers were wrapped around Hermann’s throat. That Newton knew Hermann had moved heaven and earth to ensure Newton was captured and not killed, and had spent every waking moment since working towards his treatment and eventual freedom. That Newton had put himself entirely into Hermann’s hands without hesitation. That in the end, when Newton was finally cleared, they would both…

Hermann cleared his throat. “We can go home now.”

“… Home?” Newt’s eyebrows furrowed in question, as if he hadn’t heard right.

“You’ve been cleared. Do you need anything from your… from your old quarters?”

“From my cell? No! Wait, are you kidding me?” Newt jumped to his feet. Once, Hermann might have expected him to punch the air, whooping or dancing at the news but he stopped there, a grin threatening his lips. Composure. Newt never had that before, either. “I’m never going the fuck back there again. Burn it. I’ll just wear your clothes. Uh… can I borrow some of your clothes? And there’s not gonna be, like, a line painted down the middle of your place, right?”

Hermann snorted, an excellent cover for the sudden lump in his throat. “I’ll happily sacrifice a portion of my wardrobe if it means never seeing that dreadful prison getup again. Which is to say, ah… what’s mine is yours.” He stuttered over the last. Newton met his eye and he knew it clearly as if Newton had spoken that this was it, the moment where they had to finally come to a decision on what they were to one another. It was one thing to tend a friend and colleague through a time of crisis, another to open up his home to that man while he got back on his feet…

But for the first time ever they’d have privacy. There’d be no cameras, no recording devices. No risk that Hermann offering a kind word could be used to wrest Newton’s custody away from him for fear that he couldn’t offer impartiality. For the first time since… since he couldn’t remember how long, perhaps a few moments in the dreadful lead up days to the attack when he still dwelled in ignorance, perhaps when Newton’s hand was wrapped around his throat, they would truly be alone together in a room.

Hermann offered his hand. A stiff, awkward gesture that he half-wished he could pass of as a muscle twitch if Newton didn’t take it. What were they to each other? What could they be?

Newton regarded the hand for a moment before his fingertips slide over Hermann’s palm to take it. Hermann wasn’t sure if he should be surprised that he did.

—

Hermann stood silently by after they entered the flat, to give Newt time to acclimate to the new surroundings, sparse as they were. Living alone, Hermann hadn’t seen much point in bedecking his living quarters. They were simple, functional, containing mostly books and work papers, furniture to accommodate his disability, and one of the Kaiju figurines Newton had left behind when he left for Shao Industries, perched on the corner of a bookshelf beside his desk. It was single level and so could become cramped  before long with two grown men who were not, strictly speaking, together in any way that Hermann might secretly hope. They weren’t there yet. They might never be. Newton might just take the time to get on his feet before seeking out new accommodations and privacy. The thought shouldn’t squirm in Hermann’s chest the way it did.

Finally, Newt sat on the bed and stretched his arms above his head luxuriously. “Fuck it’s good to get a change of scenery. Are you hungry? We could order a pizza. God, I would murder for a pizza.”

Hermann snorted despite himself and took a seat beside Newton on the bed. Newt doesn’t move away which is, in itself, a comfort. “It is a military base, but there are some alternatives to the cafeteria, yes.”

Silence lapsed between them, and he could tell by the fidgeting of Newt’s fingers and the pursing of his lips that it’s one where he would like to say something but can’t find the words. Hermann found himself in very much the same situation. He felt as if he were floating above the full impact of having Newt here, beside him in his home, with a clean bill of health that means that to the best of Earths’s abilities, he’s been determined to be clear, finally, of the Precursors influence. After ten years. Ten years of whatever torments they subjected him to, ten years of isolation, ten years of Hermann’s shameful neglect.

“Newton, I’m so sorry—”

“I’m so fucking proud of you, you know that?” Newt said simultaneously, and both broke off, staring at one another.

“What.”

“What?”

“The hell do you have to be sorry for, man?” Newt gaped. “Uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, I would have been completely shit-outta-luck if you hadn’t been there to pull me out at the end. Like, imprisoned for life or more likely just fucking dead. You saved my life. Again. I seriously, seriously owe you for everything you’ve done since… since, y’know, the attacks. And thanks to those jackasses I haven’t been able to say it.”

Hermann’s mouth worked. “But I abandoned you. I didn’t figure out sooner what had happened. I was too late, a step behind…”

Newt barked a sharp laugh. “What? What are you even talking about, man? You think I… ok wait, wait a minute back it up.” Newt held up a hand before pointing at Hermann. “You think I’m mad at you for not figuring out that I was possessed by aliens who wanted to destroy the world?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Hermann’s lips twisted. “In a word, yes. And for not discovering their plan sooner.”

Some of the levity fell from Newt’s posture and the corner of his lips twisted down as he shook his head as if weighing Hermann’s words. “Ok, that one was a little on you. I figured once Obsidian Fury turned up with a Kaiju nervous system I’d have a good chance of someone figuring it out, but it’s still on like… the entire PPDC for not figuring out two plus two on that one. I mean, who the fuck else besides the Kaiju expert at Shao could have figured out how to put evil Kaiju parts into an evil Jaeger?” Newt shrieked, annoyance flicking over his face in what looked like a very old and oft-repeated frustration. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “But before that? Dude, as far as you knew, I told you on no uncertain terms to fuck off because I had a hot new life and a hot new wife, what else were you supposed to do? Stalk me? Frankly, I’m just lucky you wanted to talk to me after all that.”

Hermann cleared his throat, flushing a little at the reference to stalking, the thought might have crossed his mind more than once. “Was any of that you, when I spoke to you, before the attacks? Or was it all… them?”

Newt puffed out a thoughtful sigh and scratched the back of his neck. “A little of both? They had this way of… I dunno, twisting my words. Like, I did want you to come over, but I sure as fuck didn’t want you to ‘meet’ Alice. I missed saving the world together but I’m not that much of a douche as to make it sound like you just helped me, get it? It was like, I’d start to say something to you and then they’d add some dickish twist to it so it was an insult. Sometimes… sometimes I wasn’t mad about it though. You were always ragging on my research, it felt good to rain on your parade, just a little, just to get back and to keep you from giving those fuckers ideas like fucking Kaiju blood for rocket fuel. But even once they were gone I felt like I had to be careful. I didn’t want the PPDC to hear in case they got the wrong idea or thought you were complicit with me or some shit.”

“Hear what?” Hermann said breathlessly. Even with the months spent at Newton’s bedside, or rather just outside his cell, they’d not had the chance to speak candidly. There was, as Newton said, always an audience. His head was spinning.

Newt offered him a crooked smile. “That I’m proud of you, man! Like, holy shit. Kaiju blood for rocket fuel? Becoming a one-man PPDC K-Science lab, saving the fucking world? You cannot tell me those dumbass Jaeger pilots figured out a way to get from Moyulan all the way up to fucking Tokyo in less time than it took for the Precursors to hop in a fucking charter plane, no way. That had to be you, which means you saved the world. Again. You’re a fucking rock star!”

“I… well, that is, I didn’t… it was nothing…” Hermann stuttered.

“Shut up, you totally are!” Newt’s eyes are shining and he has grabbed Hermann’s hand in his enthusiasm, the gesture so familiar to a time gone by that tears prickle in Hermann’s eyes as his gaze jerks up to Newt’s face. “Do you know how pissed off the Precursors were about you, do you? They were fucking livid, you scared them shitless. They wanted you dead!”

“Oh, well that’s terribly comforting,” Hermann said faintly. Newt laughed.

“Are you kidding? Man, I can’t think of a higher compliment. The genocidal bastards that wanted to wipe out our planet almost pissed themselves on the tarmac when they saw you were here too! I thought they were going to faint when you showed up at Shao that night, it was fucking gorgeous.”

“They needn’t have worried,” Hermann muttered, but felt a blush rising inexorably to his cheeks and ears. “I did nothing to prevent the attack.”

“You countered every single weapon they threw at you!” Newt exploded, throwing up his hands. “And it took them ten years to put those together. You did it, man. I thought… I mean, I’m gonna level with you, I hoped there would be someone on the outside smart enough to catch on, even when catching on would have been batshit insane, like come on, who just guesses that a fucking war hero like yours-truly is a sock puppet for aliens? That’s nuts, right? That’s the only reason no one could have figured it out.” There’s a fragility to Newt’s levity, as if he’s repeating a rote lesson he’s said to himself over and over, to reassure himself it was true. His voice cracked over the words, but he forged on. “I hoped there’d be someone. I hoped it would be you, honestly, and I was right. I was right because I had the best lab partner in the fucking world.”

At the words lab partner, Hermann jerked back and looked away. The space between them had been closing, Newt’s enthusiasm was infectious. He had caught himself wanting to close the distance, staring at Newton’s lips. But that was all they’d ever been on paper. Lab partners.

“Well, there were others involved,” Hermann said. “I can’t take all the credit. But it is… kind of you to say, Newton. Thank you. I had no idea you held me in such esteem.”

“Always, man,” Newt said. His voice was faint, and when Hermann glanced back his expression was soft. “Since the first. You never could have pissed me off as much as you did if not.”

“Where will you go next?” Hermann said breathlessly, if only to change the subject so the blush rising up his throat wouldn’t consume him. “That is, I want to help you get back on your feet. You’re not beholden to me, and I don’t want you to feel as if you’ve swapped one prison for another, no matter what the PPDC might say on the matter. Your actions were clearly under duress and we will prove it, if necessary.”

“Next?” Newt said, as if he hadn’t heard any of the rest. He looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time, and then to Hermann. “I, uh, hadn’t got that far, really? I guess I’m chill to hang out here for a bit, not get tangled up in all that paperwork that comes with leaving or…”

He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Fuck, I can’t do this. I don’t have any plans. The thought of going back out into the world? Scares the ever-loving shit out of me. What if they’re not really gone? What if they’re just waiting, y’know, hiding, and I’m gonna wake up at the helm of another evil corporation in a couple years? I’m right where I want to be, with a fucking army to keep an eye out in case they come back, and the person I… I trust most in the whole goddamn world to keep an eye on me. Hermann,” Newt squeaked, “I haven’t been totally honest and, fuck, you might throw me out for this, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. I’ve been thinking about you… about seeing you again for a fucking decade. I was hoping… look, you’re the only person that keeps me right, ok? I’m not sure where we stand but if you’re not gonna punch me in the face just for asking I was kinda hoping I could take you out sometime? There’s gotta be a restaurant around here somewhere, right? Or I could, I dunno, cook something for you and we could watch a movie, a real house-arrest style date.” Newt’s eyes grew wild at Hermann’s continued, gaping silence, and his voice rose in pitch. “Or I could be totally off base and I’ll start looking for places of my own right away! Fuck, I shouldn’t have even brought it up, fuck me and my stupid mouth, I could have at least waited a few days but nooo, had to make it weird. Look, I’m sorry, I…”

Newt began to rise to his feet, scrambling away from Hermann, and it sent a jolt through Hermann that jarred him out of the haze that had swallowed his brain. Hermann panicked, and did the only thing he could think of, the only thing to keep Newt from pulling away.

He seized Newton by the shoulders and kissed him with all his might.

It was a messy, unglamorous affair. Their teeth clacked. Hermann’s face was so twisted with warring emotions he probably looked ridiculous. Newton seized up under his hands for a moment, and when Hermann dared open his eyes he saw Newt staring.

“Oh…” Newt breathed, and just before Hermann could break away, babbling his own apologies, he continued, “fuck yes.” And Newt was gripping him in return, pushing Hermann back onto the bed so they were lying flat, kissing one another breathless.

“Stay with me,” Hermann muttered between kisses. “No more lines, no more separation. We’ll figure this out together. Stay.”

“What’s there to figure out?” Newt grinned against his lips. “I’ve got everything I was hoping for, right here.”

[tonidorsay]

So you know I wrote a book. I am writing more of them. Not the boring ass trans shit book that none of ya want, but a fun book about magical girls and stuff.

Only, it isn’t all that fun all the time.

You see, the Girls are fighting the Agents of Oblivion. Oblivion is the personification of his name, and that means he’s the end of everything.

He even has five Riders, because he thinks Apocalypse is a candy ass and that other guy is distracted.

But before we get to them, we gotta uncover what’s going on.

So, let’s talk about villains for a moment.

Oppression. Be it misogyny or transphobia or racism or the rest, it is always an expression of a formula.

I express that formula directly: Anxiety/Aversion/Animus, singly or in any combination plus social power is how oppression works.

Now, social power stems from those things which act to limit or hinder individual Agency – social power is Structure.

What if all those things were demigods?

Lesser powers, their will bent towards service of their masters?

Anxiety, Aversion, and Animus are The Three. This cycle of effort to bring Oblivion through, they are the major leaders. They played a role previously, but they didn’t succeed because they served other forces.

They are partnered with The Five: Apathy, Avarice, Deceit, Privilege, and Stigma.

The Five are the ringleaders of the larger group known as The Structure.

All of them have lesser demigods working for them.

Anxiety, for example, has Humiliation, Disrespect, Inadequacy, Alienation, and Terror working for him.

Animus has Aggression, Frustration, Insecurity, Envy, and Hate. Those last two have been around a very long while – they were Known in Ancient Greece. You might recall a less flattering version of Strife, who has gone solo, from the Disney Hercules.

He’s still pissed about that. Which might be why there has been so much of him in the Disney back offices and leadership team over the last several years…

There are over 60 of these buggers on the sheet I am referencing that lays out all the ways they work and interconnect.

One of Stigma’s Lieutenants has jumped ship, though. Seems he both wised up to the fact that when Oblivion comes, they all go to, but moreso it seems his power is not as influential as it once was – he is disrepute.

You may get to know him as Alley.

Avarice is the de facto head at present, and one of the most Powerful. So powerful he may just have assumed a role as a person on Earth. And be influencing events more directly.

Any of this sounding vaguely familiar?

Feel like you are living in a world that is controlled and dominated by demigods who corrupt people with miasmas and humours?

These are the folks that the Contras are fighting. Sometimes they are easy. Lazy or distracted or overconfident. Sometimes they are hard.

But they are Gods, able to twist reality and warp things, and as the gals climb the ladder towards the Tower, they will fight more and more of them.

Sometimes they will be joined by The Party. The Party is the West Coast magical guy team.

Yes, you read that right. Magical guys. And they will be done straight. Gay, trans, one AceAro who has a dark sense of humor.

Sometimes they will be joined by the Rebels, who have been at this a lot longer, as they gained their powers when they were in their early teens. They are on the East Coast. Vermont, specifically.

Oh, I should note that two of this team are a couple, and the black gal is Justice and the other gal is Liberty, and yeah…

Trans gal on that team, too.

I absolutely promise that Nazis get punched (one gets a full missile launcher shot at him in the first book!), and there will be two occasions where the orange one gets what is coming to him. As well as his cronies.

I can also state that apparently, and over my objections, later in the series we will see giant robots and we will see Kaiju. I was trying very hard not to let that happen, but, well, you know how villains are,

Motherfuckers do not know when to give up. Specially these villains, who more often than not understand that monologuing is bad, and killing them is more fun if it hurts a lot.

ContraMagica is a 300 plus page Outline spanning at least 11 books.

It may take the form of a light novel and the conventions of the magical girl and magical idol genres, but it is a full on, hard core, old style fairy tale structured within the Hero’s journey that has given us Epic Fantasy works from Lord of the Rings to Harry Potter to Song of fire and ice and more.

Except, for once, all the lead characters are women, and both women of color and lgbt women are everywhere.

If you have ever read my what is series, you likely know I understand this stuff on the “academic” level. You probably know that I get these things better than pretty much 98% of our haters.

This is what happens when you take those things and put them into a really fun story. One that is inspired by Ghibli films and Ghost in the shell and Madoka and Yuki Yuna and the darker stuff but still brings out the light.

Maybe you hear me talk about girl power and you think, oh fuck no, not more of this live and peace and kindness crap.

Well, this isn’t that kind of girl power.

When you get a moment, go out and do some research. Seriously. Go out and find twenty five characteristics that define what the fuck Girl power really if. Broaden your search into the power of the feminine, too.

It will take effort. Because the vast majority of it is either Terf shit that stops at three things or religious shit that stops at five or a bled of both that says smile bitch and say thank you when he pulls out.

Sorry, that doesn’t do shit for me.

But there is value in womanhood, in the bonds of it and the aspects of it that need not be opposite of or complementary to masculinity.

And toxic masculinity is rampant, as well.

I had to figure that out. I had to dive into it and go beyond the silly shit and let me tell ya, I got 40 elements of Girl Power.

That change things in a subversive way that you know I love.

That is the power of these gals.

But wait!

Even after all of that, and I know ya’ll are like “yawn, yeah, whatevs”, there are a couple more things…

Each of these gals has five romantic aspects to them. Over the course of the novels, they will explore these, from crushes to the two separate romantic leads for each on, to the person who keeps making stuff hard, and to the friend who is there for them.

Yeah, even the Ace lead. She’s Ace, but she’s not Aro. But she has more going on, and what you might think is her basis for being Ace ain’t it.

And then, of course, these women are not whole people. The Contras don’t have the happy background of your usual Magical girl. All of them had lives that sucked, lives that hurt and broke and pushed them.

Remember, again, I am both a sociologist and a psychologist. These gals have issues. And I am just starting to explore them. For instance, there is a moment mentioned in book one where Lark, who is easily the baddest black magical girl I know, with her everyday goth look and her Victorian plus maid powered gear and her snakes and Houdon force and old brujha, is accosted by guys on Campus and is pretty much unable to respond and it falls to the Latina gal to come in and scare them off.

Why would she be that way? Why did Tally spend forty plus years waiting for mr right, and what happened that she might do it again?

These are gals with issues you will recognize.

This is ContraMagica. It isn’t going to be PreCure or Sailor Moon (neither of which I have seen more than two episodes of, btw, lol).

It is everything I have in me – all of it – poured out for you, but cleverly disguised as a kick ass magical girl superhero women’s story hidden in the YA field.

That is all of it. If you still go meh, well, I at least tried, lol.

But tell people about this. Let them know that I have five years or less locked down of my life to tell this massive story, and if I am lucky, maybe make a bit (seriously, a buck a book is what most authors make on trade paperbacks retail, so it takes like everyone to make an HP).

It isn’t great art. Not war and peace.

But i like to think it’s a going to be a great read.

You can buy it here : https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B071YM6FJY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1493094404&sr=1-1