#wait till i start going crazy over my own oc again

[ponuchuu]

ok so i finished it

[ashla-respect]

Linked Together by Blood

Chapter 2

***DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN The Legend of Zelda or Linked Universe or any of the songs I end up using; Nintendo OWNS The Legend of Zelda AND jojo56830 OWNS The Linked Universe AU AND the original artist OWNS the songs***

**I ONLY OWN Tyra any other OC’s AND the story plot**

*Mature rating for swearing and violence*

I hope you enjoy and if you don't like then don't Read nor comment I will not tolerate any hate I only wrote this for those who would possibly enjoy it.

Thank You! And enjoy!!

Chapter 2: Who Is This Woman?

(A/N: When I was first writing this chapter it took me a while to figure out how to introduce Tyra to the Chain and how she convinces them to believe her about who she is. I made Gacha character designs for the ten Hylian’s and posted it on my TikTok here)

Twilight's POV:

That fight was more difficult than it needed to be, mostly 'cause we were low on fairies and potions when they came outta no where an' got the jump on us. Well at least that's over now, all we gotta do is find somewhere to camp for the night... 'huh? Not again! Of course our bad luck would do this to us!' All of a sudden we see a bright flash of light and once it clears, right there standin' before us is a female hylian armed with a sword and shield.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" I'm not sure who said that first 'cause I heard 8 other voices alongside mine shoutin' at the woman. 'Just who is this woman? Is she the one who sent those black-blooded lizalfos and bokoblins on us? Is she our enemy?' All of a sudden just as all 9 of us are about to start attackin' her since she never answered who she is, she managed to shock us enough to not fight her which rarely ever happens to us. 'Why is she disarmin' herself and surrenderin'? It doesn't make any sense... is she not an enemy?' I'm even more shocked when I look down at her shield. 'Hold on is she from Ordon?'

I look around me and notice that the others haven't taken their eyes off the woman who looks to be in her early 20s. "Miss, are you perhaps from Ordon Village?" As soon as I ask that it's like the others finally woke up and started talkin' over each other 'till Time spoke up.

"Quite! All of you! Now prey tell young lady are you from Ordon Village?" And of course Time has to ask while lookin' highly disappointed, frightenin' the woman. The woman sighs.

"It's a long and crazy story that you might not believe heh." She answers Time. "We've had crazier things happen to us so prey tell." Surprisingly Legend said that. I didn't expect him to say anythin'. "ROAR!" Oh great a moblin! 'Was she the one who brought it? Did she purposefully distract us to take us out?' Wait what is she doing? Is she fighting the moblin?! 'She took down the moblin in 4 heavy swings from her sword! Why does she know the Helm Splitter, Backslash, and Ending Blow?! I've only been starting to teach Collin those moves!'

"She's really strong."

"And she fights like the old man and the ranch hand." I hear the others around me discussin' how after that display their startin' to trust her. Wait why is she going to put down her sword and shield again? I stop her from putting her sword and shield on the ground. All around us the rest of the chain is wonderin' if she's another reincarnation of the Hero's Spirit. 'She might be. It would explain why she knows moves only me and Time know.'

Once I stop her from disarming herself I say. "You don't need to disarm yourself we trust you not to attack us, but we still need to know who you are. Are you another reincarnation of the Hero's Spirit?" She gets flustered for a moment and it's kind of adorable- 'wait did I just think this woman is adorable? What is wrong with me? ...But I do feel a sort of connection with her like I've met her before and I know her but I don't remember.'

Narrators POV:

After they determine Tyra safe enough to be around Time says; "Alright enough dawdling it's time to find a place to camp for the night. Let's move, you as well miss." They find a nice place to camp with a river near by and no monsters in sight. As Wild is cooking dinner for the now 10 hylian's, Tyra tells them her story. "The truth is yes I'm from Ordon Village but I'm not a reincarnation of the Hero's Spirit..."

"What then who are you?!" Nine voices question at the same time. "...My name is Tyra, daughter of the hero of twilight." Tyra finally says. "WHAT?!" All 9 Links scream. "You're my daughter?! Then how and why are you here?" Twilight asks Tyra. "Well..." Once she finishes her story dinner is ready so they wait to question her more until everyone is done eating. When Wild comes back from washing the dishes with Warriors they then resume questioning Tyra. "Wait how do we know you're not fucking with us?" Asks Legend.

"Language!" Scolds Time, as Warriors starts snickering. "You want me to prove I'm telling the truth?" Tyra asks. Instead of an verbal reply she gets nine hylian's nodding at her as an answer. Tyra sighs. "Alright then." Tyra says as she turns to look her father straight in the eyes and says... "Pa, I know EVERYTHING about your childhood and how you came to live in Ordon Village." Twilight stares back at her with his eyes wide and his mouth gaping.

"Hah! As if that's truly enough the ranch hand's probably told tons of people that story..." Warriors starts but then gets cut off by Twilight's shaky reply. "I... I-I have ONLY EVER told Rusl and Uli the truth of my childhood before living with them in Ordon Village." The other Links are shocked to hear this.

"Wait why only them? Did something horrible happen to your birth parents?" Came Time's panicked questions. 'Right at this point grandpa Time is fully starting to accept the reality that pa is his descendant but hasn't yet introduced pa to grandma Malon yet, so of course the truth about pa's past hasn't been revealed yet. Sorry pa; Sorry grandpa Time.' Tyra reflects to herself. "My past is not very pretty and I'd rather not relive it if I can, I only told them because I trust them and once I told them I made the decision on my own to never talk about it again if I could help it. But it seems like in the future I have such a close relationship with my daughter that I confide in her the truth about my childhood." Twilight answered Time's questions.

'I see it must have been so very traumatic for him to want to hide it. I can only hope one day he will share it with me before this journey is over.' Time thinks. "We're sorry for doubting your story Tyra. Welcome to the chain." Everyone says to Tyra. "Thanks y'all." Tyra says. Then before anyone begins to fall asleep Time speaks up. "Alright that is enough for one night; It's time to assign who's on watch tonight. Wild, you will take 1st watch." Says Time. "Understood." Answers Wild. "Pup, you and Tyra will both take second watch." Time ordered. "Yes sir." Twilight answered. "Roger that." Came Tyra's response.

"Finally, I will take third watch." Time stated. After that all except Wild went to bed. After Wild woke Twilight and Tyra for second watch, they mostly sat near each other in silence. Eventually Twilight spoke up asking his future daughter (the idea still not yet fully cementing in that this is true) a question he's had since going to sleep when Wild started his turn at watch. "Tyra, I have a question to ask you if you don't mind."

Even though he knows she's his daughter he doesn't want to step on any sore spots with questions she may not want to answer. "Of course pa, ask away." Came her surprisingly calm answer. 'She's ok for now but once I ask her it may be another story.' Twilight thought. "I was wondering 'bout how you got your twili markings? I saw them when you were headin' t' bed earlier." Twilight said. "Hm... Well, I was born with them and the ability to freely Change into my wolf form." Tyra answered calmly surprising Twilight in more than one way with what she said.

"What?! How?!" Questioned Twilight. Tyra then explained that from all the times he transformed into a wolf before she was growing in her mother's belly, his DNA and his wolf DNA combined to create a sort of hybrid DNA that she inherited and how her wolf DNA is a part of her and how it can sometimes become dangerous when she is enraged and how she has to be careful. "Kitten, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Why are you looking like you're about to cry?" Twilight questioned. Twilight was about to blame himself when Tyra hugged him and managed to shut him up.

"When I was growing up you always called me 'kitten' and I haven't heard that nickname in the four years since you died and I'm just so happy and sad at the same time." Tyra said. After Tyra calmed down they both agreed to transform and howl together. Soon Time came over to start his watch while they were still transformed. "You two were supposed to wake me up five minutes ago." Time lightly scolded with a small smile. That's when they found out that Time had been awake during their whole conversation with Time giving the excuse of... "I didn't want to interrupt the father/daughter bonding moment."

Time's POV:

So another descendant but this time it's my first descendant's daughter how interesting. The kitten is very much like the pup it's almost scary. Twilight and I have discussed that champion might be his descendant due to similarities and what champion has told him about why the four Divine Beasts were given that name. "The Divine Beasts were named after the Hero of Twilight who could transform into a wolf and was first called a 'Divine Beast' by the princess of that time."

That's what the cub told Twilight. Pup couldn't even believe what he had heard, mostly because he's never been fond of his wolf form being called a beast; He said it brought back unpleasant memories from his journey to save Hyrule. I put Twilight and Tyra on watch duty together because I also noticed her facial markings that looked exactly like Twilight's and wanted to see how they would interact with each other when they were left alone. 'I'm glad I was awake to witness their interaction and not have to question the pup in private about how his conversation with his daughter went. This was the one time I am thankful the full moon was out keeping me from properly sleeping.’ Time sighs.

'Tyra knows everything that's to happen during this journey and since it's already been set in stone for her, she can't change anything that's to happen. Even Tyra's a victim to the flow of time and can do nothing to change it.' There are so many things not only regarding this journey, but regarding Twilight that I want to ask her, but I shouldn't. First, she can't risk telling us events that are to happen that could change history.

Second, she's not likely to reveal Twilight's secrets that he doesn't want revealed to the chain. 'But if Twilight wants to reveal one but can't he could have Tyra reveal it for him.' Well now I have one more descendant to tell Malon about, though I'm only going to mention Twilight and Tyra to her without revealing their names so it's a surprise for Malon. I'm certain Malon's going to love Twilight and Tyra; I know I do which is crazy because I'm still getting to learn more about Twilight along with the rest of the chain and only just met Tyra.

But the pup and the kitten both have a way of warming their way into your heart so easily. I'm sure Malon will agree when she finally meets them. "Oh Link, I love them so much it's like Twilight's my son and Tyra's my granddaughter!" That is what I imagine her saying when she meets them. "I hope with Tyra's help we can quickly defeat the shadow, but what much does hope do? I've learned time and time again that hope doesn't always help, in fact hope rarely helps the Hero of Courage during their journey(s) to save the kingdom of Hyrule. Yet here I am hoping for an easier journey now that Tyra's here, that is only going to put too much responsibility on her shoulders that she doesn't need."

Though something is still so odd to me Twilight is 22 and Tyra is 21; just how old was Twilight when Tyra was born? Was he ready to become a father when she was born? Maybe I'll try asking Tyra one day.

The future doesn't seem so bleak with Tyra here with us. I'm nervous but optimistic, which never happens when I'm away from Malon. 'How has Tyra given me this feeling of being home with Malon when I'm so far away from home and Malon?'

<<Previous Next>>

[vickyshinoa12]

Loss and Gain [Ace x OC x Sabo!] pt 1! (Marineford incident)

Authors note: hey just wanted to tell you all that this might be a three part series. I just came up with it as I was taking a nap… so yeah!

[Warning! Mention of death, adult language, anxiety attack, and depression. If theses trigger you, read at your own risk!]

My eyes scanned the Sabaody area. Lots of pirates are said to be there, so that was the only idea I knew Ace would be at. Weeks turned to months while searching for him. This all happened after Blackbeard killed one of our crew members among the Whitebeard pirates. Ace’s anger boiled all over him. I saw it and automatically grabbed him, warning him to wait for the right time. He yelled at me and told me he would loose them and he had to pay. Then the crew started to agree with me, did he listen? No. That stubborn asshole went on. How I know is when I woke up the next day, Ace was gone. Didn’t get a “Wake up sleepy head!” Nothing.

Marco then approached me after I panicked and asked around where he went. Marco explained that Ace went to find Blackbeard and that Ace told him to tell me not to venture out to find him. My eyes widened and I yelled at Marco as to why he let Ace go and that it was a death wish. He sighed abs explained that Ace was always stubborn and then mentioned the first battle with Whitebeard. I remember it thoroughly, he kept trying after getting wiped by our captain over and over again.

I shook my head and told Marco I was going to look for him. Usually I never would do that, but with Ace, someone I’m close to. I would go against my boundaries. Marco told me to not do it and it’s dangerous, knowing that the only thing I was good at was a small sword. I told him that there was no way I could let Ace find the traitor by himself. Marco let out another sigh and told me to be careful. That the Sabaody was a good idea to start.

Navigating waters was so damn difficult. Day by day felt like months to even years at that point. But every so often I would stop and get some food. Usually a crew was good to go, but like Ace, I wanted to find him alone. My feelings for him… I needed to express to him and fast, but at the time where I was till now… it was too late…

When I finally got to the Sabaody, everyone was staring at the screens. I was confused. What was going on? Why is everyone not talking to one another about pirate things and stuff? That’s when my eyes went to one of the screens and my jaw went to the floor. Marineford. Ace was scheduled to be executed. My eyes began to water, No! This can’t be it! I couldn’t be gone that long! Let alone… be that far away from him! I thought at my hands went to my chest and prayed. Please… god! Make him come out of this safe! Let Luffy save him! Sure enough the news anchor went to a group of pirates that came ashore and it was- “Luffy?! Whitebeard! Marco?!” Then I realized… if I was patient like I use to be… this wouldn’t have happened- I would have been there with everyone fighting for him.

My heart ached as death ran through the screen. Many marines and pirates died that day. Blood stained the ice that one of the marines put. It was a terrifying sight. When Luffy finally got Ace out, I hollered in glee. The pirates around stared at me, “Is she a fan of Strawhat?” I didn’t answer and continued to watch, my eyes tearing up. “Luffy! Please save him!” I prayed again.

The two of them fought more marines, trying to leave the area. Suddenly the camera cut to a random battle but not the main focus, everyone was confused. “What happened?”

“Why it cut out?”

Suddenly the camera cut back and my eyes widened. Ace was laid on Luffy, hole in his back to chest, with a smile on his face. Luffy’s face said it all. “Guys… Fire Fist Ace… has been defeated by Akainu… we… are told to cut the feed-“ And like that… static went to the screens. Everyone panicked and my ears rang like crazy. Everyone was blacked out as I began to hyperventilate.

“What’s your name?”

“Victoria…”

“Hm- that’s a weird name.”

Ace…

“Say Vick, how do you feel about being a pirate?”

“Not that bad actually… I was told pirates kill without reason.”

“Not all pirates think like that! Come! Let’s set sail and I’ll show you more!”

Ace..!

“Why do you keep fighting, Ace?! You’re going to get yourself killed!”

“I can’t, Tori! That Whitebeard guy pisses me off… I have to beat him!”

“Why?! What good do you get by winning?!”

Ace!

“Because… I don’t want him to kill you if he sees me give up.”

“He isn’t going to do that,asshole!”

“Listen for a minute! This is serious! Everyone else in my crew has been beaten… you’re the last… I have to make sure to protect you… no matter what!”

Ace!!

“I love you, you know that?” He giggled as he scratched the top of my head playfully.

“ACE!!” My glasses fell to the floor as my breaths and vision were uneven. Glimpses of his face, his smile, his glow! Everything! It’s gone! He’s gone! “Ace! Aaaacccceee!!!” I wailed as my body crumbled to the ground. People started to come to me wondering what was happening. “Did she know him?” Is all I heard through the intense flashbacks of us and ringing through my ears. Suddenly my vision started to have black around and then I fell over.

I woke up as I sat up in my seat. Marco was on the other side of the room. He looked defeated. “Marco. Ace-“

“I know I saw…” He said cutting me off. “What… happened?”

“You passed out. I heard over a snail that you got knocked out and we’re having a breakdown.” My eyes went to my lap. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be. We lost someone close to us. Whitebeard also died during that battle.”

“What?!” My eyes widened. What the hell is happening?! Why were these marines wanting to kill people like Ace and Whitebeard?! My fists clenched as tears rolled down my face and onto the sheets covering me, “Ace… I wanted… I wanted to… tell him my feelings…” I cried and Marco narrowed his eyes, “You loved him…” I didn’t reply as I tried to stop my endless tears. “I… feel like he had something for you too.” My head shot up as I stared at Marco, “How?! How would you have known that?! You weren’t with him those whole years! You didn’t see what he had to go through to get his own crew!”

“No I don’t. But he continuously talk about you. About how you were so naiive but kind. That even though he drives you crazy that you were by his side. I put two and two together and thought about it. I never asked him though. But I did catch him staring at you when you were sleeping outside the health room after his millionth battle with Whitebeard. He loved you too.” Dammit! I should have waited! I would have saved him, confessed to him! Now.. it’s all to late! This was all my fault! “Marco I’m an idiot… I should have listened-“

“We are all idiots. We are all stubborn for our family, our loved ones, but even though we might loose them. Their spirit is still inside of us!” Marco was right… but… after loosing the person who pushed me passed my boundaries is gone… I don’t have anyone to continue that pattern… “Thanks Marco…” I took a deep breath as I looked away, “I’ve been thinking… maybe I should stop being a pirate.”

Marco’s eyes went large. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I can’t go on without him! He was the closest I’ve ever had… I had my family away from me and he was the only one I’ve gotten so close with…”

“Victoria… don’t…”

“I cant… if I get more attached to you guys… I might fuck up and loose you all as well.” Silence filled the air. Marco leaned against the wall in a huff, “I’m angry that you would give up so easily… but… you’re hurting a lot right now so I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to…” He smiled at me. A sad smile, “Go on and do whatever. Be a civilian on one of the island of the Great Blue. Go find someone to love again, go find friends. Be happy. I’m not going to stop you.” I cried more as I stood to my feet and hugged him. “Marco… thank you…”

[joonessence]

The moon // pjm

⤷part of the In the cards series

pairing: jimin x fem oc

summary: It’s never-ending, what Jimin feels for you is constant and boundless. But you don’t know, you’ve never known, and Jimin thinks that’s okay. Until you find out and think that it’s not.

rating: M (18+)

tags: friends to lovers au, smut in the forms of tit play, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, kinda sub jimin but not for long, very slight possessive jimin (squint to see it), unprotected sex, very slight praise kink, creampie, cum eating, i hate doing the tags y’all i think this is it

wc: 4k

notes: this is part of my tarot cards series so the banner below is the spread for this specific fic, kinda lets you know what to expect

Jimin can’t help but to watch you from across the room. His eyes follow your movements as you lightly shove Jungkook, teasing him about something Jimin isn’t following, deciding that his attention was better spent looking at you. This isn’t the first time Jimin has lost himself in observing you, in fact, it happens more often than he’d care to admit. At first, Jimin tried to control it, quickly averting his eyes when he realized he was staring just a little too hard. But soon, Jimin found it impossible to look away from you.

See, when Jimin first met you all those years ago, he realized quickly that he’d have trouble getting you off his mind. The way you made his heart beat too fast and his palms get all sweaty were sure signs that he had it bad for you. He figured it would go away soon because it was just a small crush, nothing to worry about. But for Jimin, it never did seem to go away. When he was with you, he just wanted to be closer to you, ensuring he always had the chair beside you to get a front row seat to your radiant smile. When he was away from you, all he did was think about you and your pretty laugh.

Yeah, Jimin’s got it really bad for you.

He thought about confessing to you countless times. Confessing that he ached to be beside you always, that no matter what he did he just couldn’t seem to get you out of his head. God, he wanted to tell you so bad. And he’d get close to it too, pulling you aside, saying he needed to tell you something important. Only, when the time came for him to speak, nothing would come out and he’d find himself scrambling to make something up on the spot.

Although he wishes you knew how he felt about you, Jimin thinks it’s okay that you don’t know. He’s happy to be in your life regardless. Even if he doesn’t get to be the one who takes you out and takes you home and takes your clothes off. God, Jimin wants to take your clothes off.

“Isn’t that right, Jimin?” Your voice directed towards him pulls Jimin out of his thoughts that are quickly turning obscene. “I mean, you know Jungkook pretty well. Wouldn’t you agree?”

You’re looking at him with your eyes wide, waiting for him to agree with you. You’re wearing such a simple outfit but Jimin thinks you look so pretty like this, loose dark green t-shirt half tucked into your jeans and your baby hairs framing your face. Jimin flushes at your prolonged attention on him.

“S-sorry, I wasn’t really listening,” Jimin stammers, partly because he was still unsure of what you were asking him and partly because you just make him nervous.

Jimin’s heart pounds in his chest when you narrow your eyes at him like you’re suspicious of his answer. Just as you open your mouth, Jungkook interrupts, taking your attention off of Jimin. He sighs out a shaky breath. That was a close one, Jimin can’t let you catch him staring like that again.

You and Jungkook continue your playful bickering about God knows what. Jimin doesn’t care enough to start listening, probably wouldn’t even be able to hear the two of you over the sound of his own heart beating so loudly. Sighing, he gets up and steps out onto the balcony for some much needed air.

Hearing his distressed sigh, you and Jungkook’s eyes follow Jimin as he walks away, running his hand through his hair as he goes. You turn to Jungkook with a confused face, silently asking if he knew what was wrong.

“Ah, I don’t know, just ignore him,” Jungkook says, not looking you in the eye.

Jungkook’s a terrible, horrible liar, always has been; you see right through it.

“What is it, Jungkook? Is he upset with me?” You question.

Jungkook scoffs, only making you more confused. You motion for him to continue.

“Jimin likes you,” Jungkook says as if it’s common knowledge and then pauses. “A lot.”

You think your heart stops for a second, before you come to your senses and punch Jungkook in the arm for joking around when you’re not.

“Ow! What was that for?” Jungkook pouts and rubs his arm trying to alleviate the pain.

“Jungkook, seriously. Stop kidding. What’s wrong with him these days?”

“I just told you! He likes you!”

Jimin likes you? Since when? There’s no way, you of all people wouldn’t have figured that out if it was true. But, the thought of it makes your cheeks burn. You always saw Jimin like an angel, something beautiful that you could never be with. It was why you never said anything, figured you’d spare yourself the heartache because nothing but embarrassment would come out of it anyway.

Just then, Jimin walks back in, immediately turning into his and Jungkook’s shared kitchen. You stare at Jungkook with your eyes wide, hoping he might explain more of the details.

“You know what’s wrong now,” Jungkook leans closer to you so Jimin doesn’t hear and whisper-yells. “He’s like head over heels for you, he doesn’t shut up about you!”

“He’s never said anything to me! How can I know for sure?” You whisper-yell back.

“Oh, trust me, you should hear him when he—” Jungkook shuts up when Jimin walks around the corner, headed down the hallway to his room. Jungkook gives you a ‘say something!!’ look and for some reason you listen to him.

“Jimin!” You call out after him, still trying to figure out what to say next.

He turns to you, “Yeah? What’s up?”

Your brain races to find something to say, but comes up short.

“Uh—,” You start, just to fill the space.

“She wanted to know if you’d come over tonight! Right?” Jungkook fills in and turns to you, nodding his head slightly so that you’d get the hint.

“R-right!” You nod your head rapidly.

“She asked me too but I have plans tonight. But you should go!” Jungkook sounds just as nervous as you feel. Terrible, horrible liar.

Jimin looks at you, slightly unsure at the way you and Jungkook are acting but then you send him this smile. This smile, that makes Jimin remember all that is good and pure in this world and he’s sold on your offer.

“Sure, when should I come over?”

“Umm, around 5?” You say, then remember the mess that is your one bedroom apartment. “Actually, how’s 6?”

“6 is good, I’ll see you then,” Jimin smiles at you sweetly before turning to make his way to his room.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Jimin’s coming over. He likes you and he’s coming over. Once you hear the door to Jimin’s bedroom click shut, you turn to Jungkook frantically.

“What should I do?” You ask, panic evident in your voice.

“What do you mean ‘what should you do?’” Jungkook obviously doesn’t understand your current dilemma.

You groan at his obliviousness, “I mean, how should I act? Now that I know he likes me?”

“Well,” Jungkook starts, turning to face you fully. “You like him back don’t you?”

Your cheeks burn and you nod slowly. You’ve never told anyone about your feelings for Jimin, out of fear that he’d find out.

“Okay, good. Your next step is obvious. Seduce him.”

You choke on nothing at his suggestion, you want to punch him in the face for even saying that. “Jungkook, are you crazy? How would I even know what to do?” Your hands come up to your temples, rubbing to try and soothe the imminent headache coming your way.

“Jimin is so desperate for you, do anything,” Jungkook reassures you. “Just make a move on him, I’m tired of hearing him in the shower every night.”

Your eyes widen, “Wait wha—”

“I’m not explaining, now go clean your place before Jimin sees how messy you really are,” Jungkook stands, straightening his shirt. “And good luck! Don’t bring Jimin back till well past 11:30, okay?”

“I hate you,” You groan, standing up too to grab your things before saying goodbye and calling out “I’ll see you later!” to Jimin.

Hearing the front door shut, Jimin scrambles into Jungkook’s room where he finds him laying down.

“Oh my god, what now?” Jungkook opens one eye to look at Jimin.

“I can’t go, I won’t be able to control myself,” The words fall out of Jimin’s mouth so quickly Jungkook struggles to catch them.

“Relax. It’s gonna be fine,” Jungkook sits up, motioning for Jimin to sit down beside him.

“How can you be so sure?” Jimin’s voice wavers, he’s so nervous.

“Just trust me, hyung,” Jungkook rubs Jimin’s shoulder, comforting him as much as he could.

“Okay,” The crease in Jimin’s brow has eased a bit. “I guess I’ll go get ready.”

Jimin spends his time picking out his outfit and hating it, then picking out a different one and hating that one too. He messes with his hair, trying to figure out what would look best. Jimin can’t seem to decide on anything. All the while, he’s trying to figure out what he should talk to you about, if he should show up with a gift, maybe flowers? Jimin pops into Jungkook’s room every so often, asking him every question that comes to mind and Jungkook tells him over and over again that he’s overthinking it. Jimin knows he’s probably right; he just can’t calm down when it comes to you.

Being good friends with him and his friends, Jimin saw you quite frequently. He loved seeing you, hearing you laugh at stupid jokes that were being said. And as much as he loved seeing you, most of the time, Jimin tried not to be alone with you. You get Jimin all flustered, make his hands get clammy, he can barely get out complete sentences when it’s just you and him.

Jimin sends you an “i’m here” text when he parks his car and you come down to meet him. He sucks in a breath when he sees you wearing a light yellow dress that hits your mid-thigh.

“Hi, Jimin,” You rock back on your heels, waiting for him to answer.

“H-hey, thanks for inviting me.” Is Jimin still breathing, it doesn’t feel like he’s still breathing.

You wave your hand at his thanks, “Come on.”

You grab his arm and lead him to the elevator, pushing the button to the fourth floor. Jimin’s still unsure if he’s breathing or not, but he has to say it.

“You look nice.” Your smile at his compliment practically blinds Jimin. “P-pretty.”

Your cheeks flame. Yeah, you dressed hoping he would like it but that didn’t mean you were expecting to hear him say it.

“T-thanks,” You bite your cheek and look down, praying Jimin doesn’t see just how red you’ve become.

The rest of the ride up is silent, save for Jimin tapping his fingers on the railing, trying to ease his nerves. You don’t have to lead Jimin to your apartment, he knows which one it is, having visited with Jungkook plenty of times. You fumble with your keys, hands shaking slightly at the idea of you and Jimin being alone.

“I got us some snacks,” You say as you open the door and direct him to the small coffee table that has bags of chocolate and candies and chips piled up.

“That’s… a lot of snacks,” Jimin turns to you and laughs softly.

“I wasn’t sure what to get, okay?” You mumble and turn to close the door (and to hide your, once again, flushed cheeks).

Jimin’s made his way to your living room, sitting on the floor with his back against the sofa. Taking a deep breath, you sit beside him reaching for the tv remote and handing it to Jimin.

Jimin doesn’t even remember what movie he picked. He keeps his eyes glued to the tv even though doesn’t like the movie because it’s better than losing himself in the way your crossed legs look in that dress. Doesn’t even want to think about how smooth your thighs would feel under his palms. Jimin is a weak, weak man, especially when it comes to you.

45 minutes into the movie Jimin picked you’re so uninterested in the movie you could die. You look over to Jimin, his eyes are unwavering from the tv, his hand stuck in the air with a chip in it, too busy to bring it up to his mouth. Even in his focused state he’s still the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, lips puckered in confusion and his brows furrowed. You want to roll your eyes at him for not taking the perfect opportunity to say something to you. Leave it to yourself to make anything happen.

You slowly slide your hand across the short distance to his knee. You place it there lightly, feeling Jimin tense slightly underneath. His attention is now on your small hand, you can hear him gulp.

“Jimin,” you purr from beside him, squeezing his knee making him jolt. “Jungkook told me something today.”

Jimin gulps again, heart creating earthquakes inside his body. “W-what did he say?”

You turn your body towards him, sitting on your knees and sliding your hand just an inch higher. Jimin can’t make eye contact with you.

“Well, he told me something about you,”

Jimin’s breathing is shallow now, chest moving up and down quickly. You’re looking down at him with this look that makes him feel like he’s going to explode and Jimin thinks he probably will soon. Then you throw a leg over his lap, making yourself comfortable on his thighs and Jimin knows he’s going to combust.

“O-oh? W-what would that be?” He tries, really tries to sound cool, unaffected by your practically bare legs around him but fails.

Your clothed core against Jimin’s thigh provides instant relief to the pressure that had built up. You slide your hands up his toned chest, slinging your arms around his neck. Jimin flushes at your sudden closeness. He tries so hard not to ogle the way your tits squish together but the neckline of your dress is so low and Jimin can’t help it.

“Oh, come on, Jimin! I know you like me, know you wanna fuck me,” You say exasperatedly. “Jungkook told me!”

“He told you that?” Jimin looks horrified at Jungkook’s breach of trust.

“Well don’t you?” You cock your head to the side, baffled as to why he hasn’t pushed the skirt of your dress up to your waist by now.

Jimin carefully brings his hands to rest on your hips, still wary of the situation. Under his touch, your body feels like it’s on fire. You can feel your panties sticking to your soaking pussy. You move up Jimin’s thighs, your chest almost touching his.

“Don’t you, Jimin?” You repeat your question softly. “Just say it; I know you do.”

“F-fine. I like you,” Jimin blushes fiercely, mumbling under his breath. “Wanna fuck you. Can’t believe he told you.”

Your heart does twirls at Jimin’s confession. You duck your head down, trying to catch his eyes but he looks away.

“Jimin,” His name comes out so softly. “I like you too, you know.”

Jimin’s head shoots up, his eyes are wide and starting to water a bit. He’s wanted to hear you say those words for so long that maybe his mind is playing tricks on him. He couldn’t have heard you correctly, could he?

“R-really?” He asks so quietly, as if he says it any louder you might change your mind.

“Really,” You confirm, brushing your thumb against his soft cheek.

“Oh,” Jimin looks flustered now. “I didn’t know.”

“And now that you do?” You’re so close to begging him to just do something.

With his heart leaping, Jimin inches his face closer to yours. Jimin’s longed to know how your lips would feel for so long, they always look just so soft. He wants to know if they’re as soft as they look. His eyes flicker down to them, just in time to catch your tongue poking out to wet them. The sight makes Jimin surge forward, planting his lips on yours.

Jimin’s lips feel just like you imagined, plush and velvety against yours. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, tilting your head to the side. You want to savor your first kiss with him, really you do, but it seems your hips have a mind of their own when they move against the growing tent in Jimin’s pants. You can’t contain the whine that tumbles out of your mouth, much like Jimin can’t control the groan he lets out.

“Jimin,” It comes out muffled against his lips.

Jimin doesn’t dare to take his lips off yours, only letting out a low “hm?” in response.

It takes all your strength to pull away from him, but you're desperate to feel him touch you.

“Do you wanna take my dress off?” You ask, already pushing a strap down.

Jimin’s hand doesn’t move fast enough to push down the other strap making the dress fall slightly. He groans at the sight of the tops of your breast being exposed. His hands pull down the neckline of your dress, nipples pebbling as they are exposed to the cold air. His hands come up to cup them softly, just pressing the pads of his fingers into the flesh.

“Jimin,” You whine. “Do something.”

Leaning forward, Jimin licks a circle around your nipple, rolling the other between his thumb and index finger. The cry you let out is lewd and it’s music to Jimin’s ears. His tongue rubs over your nipple before he latches on it, sucking roughly. Your fingers tangle in the strands of Jimin’s hair, pushing him as close to you as possible.

“God, I love your tits,” Jimin confesses before moving to the other nipple.

You let out a pathetic moan, pushing your crotch down on Jimin’s, craving any kind of relief. Jimin moans around your nipple, sending vibrations throughout your body. He removes his mouth from you, leaning back and kneading your breasts with both hands. You flush under his intense gaze, hips still rocking back and forth.

“Can I taste you?” The  obscenity of what he says and the politeness of Jimin’s voice don’t match up sending shivers down your spine.

“Y-yeah, please.”

You let Jimin guide you to the floor, placing a pillow under your head and another under your hips. He pulls the dress down your legs, setting it to the side with care. You giggle at that, it’s so Jimin, and he sends you a small smile. Between your legs, Jimin runs his palms up and down your thigh (they’re just as soft as he thought they would be). Leaning down, he kisses up your thigh to the band of your panties, placing soft kisses there too. Your body buzzes under Jimin’s lips.

“Gonna take this off,” Jimin murmurs against your skin.

He rolls them your legs, placing them aside, using the same care he did with the dress. You’d giggle again but the way Jimin’s taking in the sight of your dripping pussy clenching around nothing makes the giggle get caught in your throat.

“So pretty,” Jimin sounds in awe as he traces the puffy lips of your cunt.

His praise makes your face flush. His fingers trace lightly around you before he pushes forward and leaves a wet kiss on your fluttering clit.

“J-Jimin,” You gasp at the feeling of his tongue, taking short quick flicks against you.

He travels down to your clenching hole, licking a thick stripe all the way up to your clit, sucking harshly.

You sob loudly, closing your legs around Jimin’s head. His arms wrap around your thighs to keep them open.

“You taste so good,” Jimin divulges before continuing his attack on your clit.

His fingers probe lightly against your drenched core, dipping them in lightly before taking them out again. You push your hips down on his face, greedy for more of him. You can feel him smirk against you at your urgency. He pushes two fingers in slowly, waiting until you’ve gotten used to the stretch before pulling them out and shoving them back in. You throw your head back in ecstasy, calling out Jimin’s name.

“So wet for me, all for me,” Jimin says it like he can’t believe it.

His fingers scissor inside you, curling when he hears you moan loudly, his tongue still assaulting your clit. He can feel you tightening around him, your walls fluttering.

“Jimin,” You call out warningly. “I-I’m so close.”

“That’s good, baby,” He says proudly, speeding up the pace of his fingers.

“N-no, wanna cum around you,” It comes out of your mouth brokenly.

Jimin groans against your clit, sending another wail out of your mouth. You whine when he pulls his fingers out even though it was your doing. Jimin quickly rids himself of his jeans, the tightness of them was starting to get painful. He situates himself between your legs again, grabbing his cock and pumping it a few times before rubbing the tip against your folds.

“Jimin,” You plead, impatient to feel Jimin stretch you. “Please.”

Jimin pushes in slowly, letting out a whine when he can feel you stretch around him. You cling to his shoulders, making crescent marks with your fingernails.

“Y-you feel fucking amazing,” Jimin pants. “Holy shit.”

You moan loudly as Jimin starts driving his cock further inside you. Jimin’s lips find your neck, leaving wet kisses down the base.

“Feels so good, Jimin.”

Your hands tangle in his hair again, pulling at the roots causing Jimin to moan.

“Been waiting forever to fucking do this,” Jimin says between thrusts. “Don’t ever wanna fucking stop.”

“T-then don’t.”

Jimin’s rhythm speeds up, thrusting in and out of you roughly. With one hand beside your head steadying him, he reaches his other hand down to your clit, rubbing in circles with two fingers. The obscene squelching sound of your pussy and you and Jimin’s moan bounce off the walls.

“J-Jimin, I’m close, so f-fucking close,” You sob loudly, tears welling in your eyes.

“Kiss,” You reach out for Jimin, trying to pull him down to you. “Kiss me, please.”

Jimin obliges happily, smashing his swollen lips on yours. Your pussy clenches around him before your release gushes out. You see stars as your legs shake around him.

“Good girl, my good girl,” Jimin praises, still thrusting inside you, chasing his own release.

As you come down from your orgasm, Jimin’s trusts become sporadic, signalling to you that he’s close too.

“Cum inside, please.”

Jimin looks at you like he’s never heard something more pleasing. You watch his face crumple in bliss as he releases inside you, covering your walls in white.

Chest heaving, Jimin slumps forward, careful not to put all his weight on you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You’re both sweaty and it might have felt gross to Jimin if this was someone else, but this was you and Jimin has loved you for so long.

When he catches his breath, he moves down your body to look at you. Jimin never wants to forget the way your pussy looks when his cum is dripping out of it. You whine at the sensitivity when he swipes his tongue against you, collecting your mixed arousal. He leans back up to kiss you, letting you taste him and yourself on his tongue. And that might have felt gross to you if this was someone else, but this was Jimin and you have loved for so long.

Jimin pulls away with a satisfied smile, laying down beside you.

“So, what did Jungkook tell you?”

You turn to him with a smirk on your face, “Told me you think about me in the shower.”

Jimin’s face turns redder than you’ve ever seen it.

“I’m gonna kill him, seriously.”

“Really?” You tease, tracing your finger on Jimin’s chest. “I think we should thank him.”

“You’re right,” Jimin concedes. “I’m gonna thank him and then kill him.”

[blogger-yura]

Entry #15 Aug 13th '21

#YurasLife #FoodFriday #Food #Cooking #Recipes

𝐅𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐬 (Banana bread)

*contact Yura for removal of any food related posts taglist

Lazy Friday's and banana bread~.

Hello hello my birdies! How has this lovely Friday treated you? I'm very sorry for such a late post! I've been laying down today most day, just chilling in bed, self care and baking! Didn't pick up my computer again till recently. I hope today's recipe can make your weekend maybe a lil bit more fun, hm?

It had been some time since I last made any banana dessert, so I just gathered some stuff and decided to share this one today with you, I hope it's ok!

You ever have banana bread and it's so dry and crumbly? I hate that! I thinks it's crazy how the same recipe can go so right or so wrong, no in between. It took me some tries to perfect this for myself, but you just try it out and find your own little secrets ♡

This recipe is not only fast and easy but also the banana bread turns out so moist and fluffy in my opinion!

Prep: 10/15min - Cook: 20/30min - Level: Super easy! - Makes: aprox 10 slices (or really depends on how many you wanna share heh~)

Ingredients-

▪ 250ml oil ▪ 350gr self-rising flour ▪ 2 eggs

▪ 350gr brown sugar (if possible) ▪ 4 ripe bananas

▪ 100gr nuts

Steps-

1- First thing we're gonna do of course is preheat the oven! Very important step, don't forget it like I usually do or you'll have to wait longer!

2- Next up we're going to mix all the ingredients together in a medium/big bowl. Make sure your bananas are nicely smashed first and your nuts already crumbled. If you want to be fancy, I do recomend you slightly whisk the eggs first (I find the dessert to be fluffier when I do this!) but it's really not needed at all!

3- Butter your mold time! You can always use some parchment paper too, just make sure to cover the base nicely so your bread won't stick! I recomend buttering the edges regardless just in case!

4- You're going to want to bake this at a 320-340F temperature or your ovens lower setting for that matter! Its important to give banana bread it's time and not rush it! Otherwise it dries out, raises weird or all of the above.

It's important you keep an eye out for it! The second sweet banana smell starts taking over your kitchen, you need to make sure your bread won't burn and dry out! My oven usually takes around 27 exact minutes, so know your oven!

I hope you guys like this recipe! Who would you share your banana bread with? Have you ever done some before? I wanna know!

I hope you all are taking care, going easy on yourselves and having some fun! Remember every bad day ends and there's always a chance to make things right, the universe will always give you a new opportunity to fix your mistakes somehow. I love you all! I'll see you again soon, alright? All the love, -Yura ♡

🧡: @vitoria-oc @archangel-oc @shin-haneul @lunaaofthemoon @moongoddesselene @jinju-oc @ochouse @esmeralda-oc @eujun @ocboys @cbville

@cb-museclub @achillesunwoo @whimisicalfairies @ares-bc @warblerchangmin @dmonchan @mafia-chae @greenwitch-felix @unseelie-dejun @musicianjennie @skz-cb @betrayerjongup @powerpuff-3ye-cb @moonlightchn @temptationcb @carnival-skz @demigodnct @vampiremomo @uniboimark @suburbanbots @everglowcb @realitystar-joy @antiromantic-jun @prof-sunmi @roommates-bot @modelyonghee @floristyujeong @yejiblake @literature-bot @markhyuck-roomies @ryujindinkley @himbohooters-cb @wonderlandxskteez @thexkims

[naktergalen]

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List 2

Hey there again! It’s been a while since my last rivamika post and I apologies for that. I caught the reading bug and have just been hitting book after book. I might be doing a book of the month suggestion starting in March. I’m still thinking about it but if that is something your interested in let me know. Or if you just want book suggestions just message or ask me. But for now, I’m back with my second Rivamika Fic Suggestions List.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the comments and messages I received from my first list! I think it has over 150 notes now which is crazy for me. I was going to be ecstatic if it got like 10 likes or something hahaha! I’ve enjoyed talking to some of you about fics and other snk stuff. Feel free to do the same after this post! I know I take awhile to respond but swear I get there eventually.

Same rules as last time. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some of these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. All of these fics can be found on AO3. I’m going to try to link them but we will see how tumblr acts today. If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list. If any author sees their story on here and wants me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. Okay shutting up now, ON WITH THE LIST!

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Completed:

- Thunder Clouds

Author: K_Lionheart

Rating: Mature

Sometimes I like to go to the very back of the Rivamika archive on AO3 and look for fics that have gotten buried over time. Low and behold what I have found lol! I enjoyed the emotional roller coaster when I was reading this fic, though sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out. Set after the titans are gone, humanity has to repopulate so arranged couples by the monarch are made to be wed. While this new order is being enforced, Mikasa and Levi are trying to work out their strained relationship. A slow burn with angst that will have you staying up till 3am dying to know what happens next. I know that there is a sequel to this fic called Nimbus and I’m slowly working my way through that one. Honestly, it will probably go on my next list.

- Red is the Only Colour

Author: mongoose_bite

Rating: Mature

A cute fic that was a quick but wild ride. A Little Red Riding Hood type of AU where Mikasa is a hunter of some sorts traveling through a town. I don’t want to say how Levi plays into all of this since it gets border line spoilers but just know that he is there. It is an opening ending fic for the author to come back if they plan on doing so but it can be interpreted in different ways. All in all, a fic worth of the quick read.

- Sing Me a Song

Author: LazyTrash

Rating: Mature

First I have to get this off my chest, I love the author’s name hahaha! I freakin wished I would have thought of that for mine! Anyway, this fic is wonderful but I will warn you that its a gut punch. If you like hurt and angst put together, then this is the story for you. I love these types of fics because I adore them so much but they hurt me in my soul. I don’t know what that says about me but whatever. I don’t want to delve into the story too much for spoilers but I would suggest rivamika fans to check this one out.

- Midnight Musings

Author: Raewyll

Rating: Teen

I just started to read Raewyll’s fics so I’m slowly working my way through all her works. This one caught my eye and I had to read it. This is a cute take on a chance meeting through texting the wrong number. I love the way Levi and Mikasa’s relationship blossoms into something more serious after causally texting back and forth. It’s one of those stories that I can only describe as being cute as shit! I’m definitely going to be checking out more of Raewyll’s fic in the future.

Ongoing:

- Beyond the Walls

Author: helena3190

Rating: Matue

If you love RIvamika angst, then look no further than this baby right here. This is currently my favorite ongoing fic. It was supposed to be a shorter story, but the author keeps adding more chapters so I’m not complaining hahaha! This fic is pretty much how I would *personally* picture canon Mikasa on how she would deal with realizing that she’s falling in love with someone. Its mostly told in the perspective of Mikasa as she is dealing with the after effects of war and trying to figure out what should she do with her life now that she is no longer a solider. Her feeling for Levi come with a lot of confusion as she’s discovering emotions that she has never felt before. She has a hard time pinpointing on what exactly describes her relationship with him. I’m anxiously waiting for the final chapter for this fic and dying to see how it will end for Mikasa and Levi.

- After the War

Author: loneackerman

Rating: Mature

I am loving this rivamika slow burn fic right here. Its similar to Beyond the Walls but I think the author adds their own taste of the 1920s into it. Set after the war is over (obviously), Mikasa and Levi have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. It has great tension, a perfectly paced gradual romance and just the right amount of humor to combat the emotional turmoil it puts you through. Again in my opinion, this is close to how I would realistically perceive Levi and Mikasa’s relationship evolving. I’m really enjoying this story and I’m looking forward to more updates to come!

- The Sound of Lightning

Author: LycheeGreenTea

Rating: Mature

A new fic that is just getting started but I can tell that what the author has in store is going to be interesting. Set several years after the end of the war, Levi and Mikasa are loving parents to a single child. Their peaceful life comes to an end when the family has a threat against them. There are not many long fics about Mikasa and Levi being parent so I was very happy when this one popped up on the AO3 feed. An exciting adventure awaits the Ackerman family now and I can’t wait to see where this fic goes in the future. There are three chapters as of now so head over there and check it out.

Incomplete:

- Home

Author: MissErikaCourt

Rating: Mature

One of the gems I found when diving back into the Rivamika archive. Ugh I HATE that this fic is incomplete!!! Its a good long fic but I’m greedy and I need more! I will give a warning first that this fic does contain heavy themes. Mikasa and Levi are in the underground to fight against a criminal ring. This story is a slow burn with action and emotional trauma. There is a wonderfully written OC that you easily get attached to its not even funny. Even though its not completed, I would highly recommend checking it out. I still have three more chapters to finish but I had to put it on this list. I know that I’m going to be pissed once I reach the last chapter written. If someone know MissErikaCourt, let her know that she needs to comeback to finish this masterpiece!

- Shiver

Author: bornsinner

Rating: Mature

Another one that I DISPISE its incomplete!!! Ugh such a great Office AU. It’s everything that I would want in an Office AU setting. Mikasa struggles between her committed long term relationship and her growing attraction (which starts to develop into some feelings) to her boss, Levi. Its hot, sexy and intriguing and it pisses me off that its not finished! The author writes each chapter as a one-shot but collectively together they tell the whole story. Highly recommend even though its so short. BORNSINNER where ever you are in the universe I hope you come back to finish this!!!

- Two Lines

Author: Crejhov

Rating: Mature

When this was getting updated it was my favorite on-going Rivamika fic. I would find myself checking to see if the author updated with a new chapter every week! The unplanned pregnancy trope is a classic one, but Crejhov does a fantastic job on keeping readers enthralled with soo many anticipated character meet up that are bound to cause hurdles for our expecting parents. This story is told from the perspectives of Mikasa and Levi in order for us to understand where their mindsets are as they plan for their expecting child and deal with their relationship. AHHHHH I want more of this!!! I was soo excited to see where this awkward journey was going to take Mikasa and Levi. CREJHOV COME BACK PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE WORK BUT PLEAAASEEEE! I NEEEEEEDDDD!!!

- Cabin Fever

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Mature

All I should have to say about this is that its written by AmayaOkami and that should explain it. Amaya is the one that gave us the beautiful incomplete rivamika fic Romance and Rivalry. I just adore her writing. Levi and Mikasa relationship evolves as they are standing guard over the arrested Kenny Ackerman. Secrets are discover about the Ackermans and it gets pretty steamy between our two favs. Great fluff and great sexual tension that leaves you wanting more chapters! Again AmayaOkami where ever you went I hope for some miracle that you come back and complete this one too!

One-Shot:

- Jade

Author: shulkie

Rating: Mature

This one-shot feels like I read a novel, it has such a great storyline. An arranged marriage between Mikasa and Levi leaves the relationship strained in the beginning. Their relationship evolves over time as Levi patiently brings down Mikasa’s wall. With smut added for all of your one-shot needs. Definitely worth the read in my opinion.

- What Remains

Author: Mirime

Rating: Mature

This one-shot gives us a glimpse into the secret relationship that Levi and Mikasa have been having while there are still scouts. This fic is sad but I would say it has a bittersweet ending. I think this was supposed to be part of a collection but I can’t find the rest of them. Still a great read by itself.

- Agape

Author: alienheartattack (Sanneke)

Rating: Mature

This fic is cute as shit! A College AU where Mikasa and Levi are childhood friends. Levi has to deal with Mikasa being at the same college as him while he is struggling with his changing feelings towards a grown up Mikasa. Worth the read as I said cute as shit, leaves you all warm and fuzzy lol!

- As Seen in Shadows

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

FUCKING MORA! LEE! WRIGHT! UFFFFGGHHH Fuck I’m in love with her writing style. I really have nothing to say more that just go read it! Its hot and sexy and the sexual tension is off the fucking charts in this one. Its just MoraLeeWright smut thats all I can say. It’s great! JUST READ IT LMAO!

- Remedy

Author: NSummer

Rating: Mature

Another hot smut one-shot coming your way! Levi and Mikasa have had an ongoing affair and this just recounts their first time together. Its just some good ol’ Rivamika smut that I think that everyone in this community would enjoy.

- Nutty: Drunk in Love

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Mature

A fun smut to read about Mikasa getting “revenge” on her asshole boss, Levi. Things don’t go the way she plans as things get a little heated in the sexy way. A quick smut that I think is perfect for a little Rivamika crave.

- Spicy: Jalapeno

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Another fun smut to read by Hallow17. Levi has been stressed out at work and Mikasa finds a way to help him get his mind off it (if you know what i mean). Again perfect for a Rivamika quick fix.

[g0ldengubler]

Chapter 11 ~ Lurk

A/N: I feel like my smut is getting worse and worse aaaaaa but told u that things were going to get interesting (finally)! Also thank you so much for 3.1k reads on wattpad wtffffffff :') ....if i were to change nauseous all up and change this from a Y/N story to an OC...would it be good idea? aaaa but yes thank you for reading i love uuuuuu <3

Category: All three. Fluff, smut (NSFW18+ MDNI), angst

CW: masturbation, stalking

Summary: After getting a stomach bug, you aren’t able to go to work. But you do find other ways to cope the feeling of missing Spencer

Word Count: 1915

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a couple of months since the copycat cases, and nothing has happened since. You told Hotch and the rest of the team your epiphany and went along with it. Since no new files connected to them had dropped on the round table, you climbed on the jet and focused on others while also low key keeping a high profile. Something still felt off to you about these cases, however. It got to a point where you were just comparing them to your own life since there were a few similarities, like the locations-Detroit and DC. You grew up in south-east Michigan and then moved to DC for work. But when you went to the, "I'm a woman, and the women are the main focus" thought you knew it was time to stop that. That feeling would never go away, nagging at you to keep trying-that you were almost there to the truth.

Today of all days, you woke up in the middle of the night close to missing the toilet as your guts flew out. You called Hotch in the morning telling him that it was just a bug, thinking it was only a 24 hour thing and then you can head back in tomorrow. He told you about a new case they were going to in Arizona, and that tomorrow you would help Garcia. Later that morning, you checked your phone to see that Spencer was calling. You smiled as you slid your finger along the arrow, putting your phone on speaker so you could feed your dogs (or at least try).

"Hi bubs," you greeted, "I'm letting you know now that I-"

"Are you feeling ok? Did you take anything? Does your head hurt? It's probably going to last a bit longer than a day...maybe three are you sure you aren't-"

"Spence, I'm fine," you said calmingly, "I thought about that too but we haven't had sex in awhile. I have my ginger ale and all the bread and butter I can use to make buttered toast. Plus I have my children with me and if I need anything Seth is right next door. I'll be in the bat cave tomorrow with Garcia helping along here. You have nothing to worry about."

Spencer let out a little sigh of relief, or at least you hoped it was. He told you he would call tonight and check in and then said your goodbyes as he had to get on the jet. You spent your day laying on the couch, binge watching Matloft on the Hallmark Murder and Mystery channel eating as much toast as you wanted, thankful that you had some of your favorite ginger ale to make you feel better.

Feeling a bit better as the sun hid behind the buildings outside your apartment balcony, you decided to nibble on some chocolate. Monk now on the tv, the delicious candy handled well in your stomach. Your phone rang and you put it on speaker.

"How's my favorite doctor doing?" you answered.

"Doing alright," said Spencer, "but how's my favorite girl doing, hm? How's your stomach?"

"I'm feeling a bit better! I've been eating chocolate and it hasn't come up at all. Kind of missing home, too. A bowl of chicken lemon rice soup sounds amazing right now."

"Well maybe one of these days we can go back to your dad's cabin and grab some on the way! That actually does sound really interesting, you have my mouth watering already."

You both giggled at his little joke. It was something you felt that you needed and you were really missing him. "I wish you were here." you then said.

"I wish I was, too. I miss you, this case isn't solving the same without you here."

"Good thing I'll be with Garcia tomorrow morning...or maybe that's a bad thing now that I think about it."

"Oh I can't wait!" Spencer chuckled.

"Say," he asks, "going back to what you said earlier, have we really not have sex in awhile?"

"It's sadly true," you sigh, slowly getting up from the couch and heading to your room, "work has really been kicking us in the ass. Guess that's what happens when you take a month vacation, or taking one the day after you get back from your first case on the field."

A thought popped into your head. "Maybe we could change that..."

Spencer's voice went from playful to confused quickly, almost sounding nervous "I mean, of course we can when I come back, but-"

"We don't have to wait till you come back! What if...we tried over the phone?" You slowly started rubbing over your tits, softly squeezing them here and there.

"I-I mean..." Spencer went silent for a moment. "...are you sure?"

"We don't have to if you feel like you'd get caught. I don't want you to get in trouble from Hotch." You slowly moved your hand down your body. "But that just means you have to wait until you come back...and that would just be hell, wouldn't it?" You slid your hand down to your core and felt the wetness that pooled. "How distracting it would be if you were at the station, trying to put together a geographical profile or presenting the profile, and have me pop in your head from time to time, leaving you distracted from your work because you're thinking about all the things you want to do to me."

He went silent again. You knew you got him, and he knew it too. Picturing him in his hotel room, nerves building up inside him mixed with excitement. You heard movement over the speaker, the ruffle of the bed sheets, his breath hitting his phone. "Ok one last thing before we do this...do you feel alright enough to do this? Because once you say yes, there's no going back."

"Spencer, I'm ok. I want this." You reassured him.

He exhaled a little, as if all his worries about you fell off his shoulders. "Now c'mon, do you want your angel...daddy."  

Got him.

"You have no idea how much I want you," Spencer's voice was lower, both in tone and in volume. He went silent for another moment, "...how do you do this?"

You giggled at his innocence. "Just tell me how it feels...what you're thinking about. There's nothing to worry about, Spence. It's me. Just be yourself."

You took his lack of a response as a yes before pouring out his thoughts. "I miss you so much angel," he began, "I'm not going to lie, I was thinking about you earlier."

"Oh really? What was I doing?" You started rubbing circles on your clit, biting your lip so you didn't make a noise too early.

"I was sitting in the conference room of the station earlier today, writing up the profile. I was almost finished when I started thinking about how at about that time, you'd come in with coffee in your hands for the team. It helped me missing you, but then I started thinking about you in a red tank top because..well, it's Arizona," He chuckled under his breath, but it sounded more like he was hiding a groan, "Anyways, I thought about you in a red tank top, talking to me as I'm finishing up. Then, I gently push you down to the floor and l-let you do as you please..."

He stuttered as he told his story. He wasn't talking with his mouth anymore, his lust was taking over. The way he went from his normal self to slowly easing into a more darker, deeper tone, made you realize how fast you picked up the pace. "Who knew you could have such a dirty mind at work, Doctor." you said as you slowed yourself down a bit.

"You wanna know the best part? As soon as I felt myself getting hard, Hotch came in asking if the profile was finished. And...immediately, as soon as he left the room, I thought about you hiding under the table...mmm...continuing your work."

A soft moan escaped your lips before you even had the chance to stop yourself. His whimper caught you off guard. You never thought he would be so adventurous with his lust, but the fact he was willing and open to new things made you smile-you liked that in a person. You picked up your pace again, feeling like you weren't in control anymore.

"Fuck I miss your pretty noises, angel...Do that again."

He didn't even have to ask. You were imagining that your fingers were his, working on your clit while he fucked you so hard. You thought of his head in the crook of your neck leaving marks to make sure people knew you were his. You thought of his breath on your neck, and the groans and little moans and whimpers in your ear. You let out a string of moans as you heard him softly groan and whimper. "It feels s-s-so goo-d daddy!"

"Yeah? Are you close?"

"S-s-shit yes yes yes please let me cum daddy...fuck please!"

"Cum for me, angel. Let me hear you."

You waisted no time at all. The knot in your stomach tightened and broke as a silent moan left your mouth. You ended up a whimpering mess, mumbling his name and curses under your breath. "Fuck angel just like that...I-I'm gonna...cum oooh!" He came shortly after you, groans and curses leaving his lips. You thought you were going to cum again, but you were always turned on by his noises just as much as he was with yours.

After you both rode out your highs and calmed down, Spencer spoke. "That was incredible, Y/N!"

"I'm glad you liked doing that, bubs." You said through a smile.

"Liked? I loved that! We have to try that again one day."

"I think that's a great idea!"

"I miss you so much. But I'll see you tomorrow over the video call with Garcia."

"The video call?"

"Oh shut it!"

You both giggled at your little banter before saying your I-love-you's and goodnight's and hung up. You got cozy in your bed and as you were about to drift to sleep, a loud banging on your front door startled you. You stayed in your bed holding a pillow for a few before getting up, you're dogs barking like crazy. You grabbed your gun from your bedside table and slowly walked to the door. You looked through the peephole but no one was there. You tucked your gun in your pants before opening slowly. Looking to your right, and then to your left in the hall, no one was there. A crinkle sound came from under your foot as you tried to slowly step out. Looking down, you picked up the piece of paper and went back in. Back against the door, you looked at the paper. You felt your face go from frightened to panic as you read. 'No...this can't be happening...'

In magazine cut outs, the letter read:

"Did you connect the dots, you nerd? Did you find out that it's me?"

[mattdillon-enthusiast]

i have no idea how to use tumble at all, i literally use it to look at the outsiders incorrect quotes but uh i thought i’d post a fanfic i wrote for my oc, arabella and dallas so enjoy.

Title: Death Pact - Dallas Winston One Shot

Warnings: Death, Suicide and Mentions Of Abuse

Word Count: 2,189

Everything went in slow motion as Dallas raised his unloaded heater, an idiot that kid was, they don’t know he’s bluffing. As the bullets from the surrounding police officers made their impact, memories of the years spent by Dallas’ side flashed before my very eyes, years of love, adoration, thrills, adventures and memories all gone within the blink of an eye.

“Yeah, you, Johnny and Ponyboy are all seen as hero’s now” I spoke, walking over to sit on the side of his hospital bed looking over at Tim for a moment before looking back at Dallas. Dallas looked annoyed hearing himself being called a hero, he muttered a few incoherent things under his breath, most likely curses on how he was anything but a hero.

“Any word on when they are going to let you out?” Tim asked, thinking of tonight being the rumble, meaning he needed any man he could get his hands on. Dallas was surely one of the best he’d be able to get.

Dallas sighed, shaking his head as he lowered his gaze. He ran a hand through his hair, knowing this would disappoint Tim and I, just in different ways. “Suck’s about the rumble, Man.”

Dallas and I both cared about Johnny a lot, Dallas more than me by a long shot. We saw so much of ourselves in him, but definitely more Dallas. I could only hope that Johnny would be okay… but hope wasn’t enough.

Merely a week ago, we were helping Johnny and Ponyboy go on the run. Couldn’t believe Johnny had actually done it at first, seeing the two walk into Dallas and I’s room at Buck’s Pony soaking wet, freezing I offered him one of Buck’s shirts we had laying around, Dallas gave him his brown jacket.

I checked one of our drawers for some cash, counted fifty and Dallas explained how to get to a hideout location. I handed the money to Johnny, “Should be enough for you to buy a week’s supply of food, when you get there you need to get food before your descriptions are put in the paper.”

Dallas got up from his potion on the bed and went to get his gun, his loaded one. He handed that to Johnny as well. “Don’t point it at me for Pete’s sake Johnny, it’s loaded!”

“Pony, do Darry and Sodapop know about this?” Dally asked as he took a seat on the bed again, pulling out a cancer stick and match using his Christoper to light it. He took a drag as Pony shook his head, “I’m not itching to be the one to tell them and get my head kicked in”

“Don’t tell them then” Ponyboy replied settling with the new shirt and jacket on.

That night neither Dallas nor I got much sleep, we laid in bed thinking, hoping that Johnny and Pony would be okay. We had sworn ourselves to secrecy, no one would know that night had happened the way it did other than the four of us.

Just over two months before that night, Dallas went to prison. “Yeah well, I don’t want to see him serving a sentence longer than a couple of days,” Dallas told me. We had been discussing him taking the blame for busting out the windows of the local high school, everyone knew Two-Bit had been the one to do it.

“But Dal, you know they aren’t going to give you a slap on the wrist this time around” I sighed.

“I can handle it, been in and out since I was ten, you know that Bella,” Dallas said, as he emptied his pockets, putting his heater in one of his drawers. “Plus, sounds like something they’d think I’d do. I’ll get hauled in soon enough, it’s easier to just turn myself in”

I walked over to him, putting my arms around his waist holding him. I always hated when he went to jail, normally I could find my own entertainment between visits but it was never the same without him. I always missed him. “You know the gang will keep you company if need be, Tim is always open to you spend the night at his.” He told me.

“Yeah, Yeah. I’ll miss you though” I replied as he turned to put his arms around me.

I know most wouldn’t look at Dallas and think ‘that man is romantic’, but he sure could be sometimes, I originally never thought he’d be one to plan dates months in advance. Sure took me by surprise the first time he put so much dedication into a night out. We were back in Tulsa for about six months at that point, he took me out for dinner at the Dingo which was common so I thought it be an average night out. We didn’t stay for milkshakes after which was odd because milkshakes were always how we ended the night. We headed out to Buck’s car which we had borrowed for the night and he took me on a drive.

Listening to Elvis on the radio as we drove around Tulsa, we spent the drive singing along to the radio, talking or just enjoying the moment until we pulled up at one of the nearby lakes, there was a picnic blanket set out with a basket. He’d paid one of the guys to set this up while we had gone to dinner. There were beers, strawberries, whipped cream and chocolate. God this man had my heart. The night was spent there before we went swimming which started out innocently enough, can’t say it ended that way.

I of course am Dallas’ partner in crime, I was a relatively well-behaved kid until Dallas and I moved to New York. We got ourselves into so much trouble, we were involved in a gang, got into gang fights often, robbed stores, and even got wrapped up in a murder cover-up.

“Bella, stay right there,” Dallas said, as he peaked out of an alleyway. We had stolen dinner from a gas station, we’d had to spend the last of our winnings from our latest gambling on rent, after a day and a half of not eating we had to result to stealing. The police had been called, stupidly enough, all we stole were chips and soda, quite the overreaction if you ask me. We took some alleyways on our way back, he was just checking for cop cars.

“Shit…” Dallas muttered. He turned back to me, “Back this way, we have to walk down to the next alleyway”

Before we even had the chance to move, we heard someone yell in our direction. There were two police officers calling out to us and walking in our direction. Dallas and I looked at each other for only a split second before we bolted down the alleyway. The dark alleyway echoed with our laughter as we did.

The officers were so caught off guard that they hadn’t reacted nearly as fast, so they trailed further behind them. The alley ahead of us split off into three directions, we had to think fast and had to split up. I went for the alley that would take me closer to our apartment while he took the one that would cause him to have to run around almost an entire block. We exchanged a glance that could only be interrupted as ‘be safe’.

I hadn’t been followed, both officers trailed Dallas allowing me to get back without any troubles. I couldn’t touch my food once I got back, not till I knew that he was okay. I sat on our mattress on the floor which my eyes on the door. Every apartment we owned was a room with a bathroom attached, never anything special we couldn’t afford anything bigger.

For an hour I waited for him to return, when he did he had a cut just above his eyebrow, bleeding down his face and a massive grin on his face. He almost gave me a heart attack, I think I lost years of natural life from that experience and many more similar.

There were so many memories of New York, we spent three years there and they were the best years of my life by far. From ages 13 to 16, I spent every day and night filled with the thrills of running away from home, gangs and falling madly in love with Dallas Winston.

I remember the night Dallas and I admitted being in love with one another. This was about a month into moving to New York, we had known each other for about seven months at this point. Dallas and I moved to New York two months after my mother’s death, we weren’t very close at that point and the only reason why I ran away was because I had a fight with my father, he pulled a gun on me. I turned to Dallas, knowing that I couldn’t hide with the Curtis’ they were too close with my father. He wanted to flee his own father, so that’s how we ended up in New York.

This particular night we had been out with friends, on our walk home it had started to rain so by the time we ended up soaked. We collapsed on the floor, staring up at the ceiling laughing about something I had said before we entered the room which really isn’t important to the moment. Dallas turned his head to face me, using his hand he turned me to face him.

“I don’t think I can hide this from you any longer, Arabella.” He said, we stared into each other’s eyes and for the first time I saw him nervous. “I love you, Bella.”

I almost couldn’t believe it. Dallas admitting his love for me, he returned the feelings that I had been so unsure of. “I love you too, Dally”

We laid there as moments passed, continuing the staring as the grins grew on our faces. He was the one to break the silence, the words that would impact the ending of the situation I currently find myself in.

“I propose… a death pact. I know right now I want to spend my time with nobody other than you and I never want you to be with anyone else.” Dallas said. He’d mentioned how the idea of marriage made him sick.

If this was anyone else, I would have laughed in their face and told them they were crazy. But.. I was also not in the best state of mind. Dallas was the only person keeping me here, after my mother’s death and my father becoming the way he was my only stability was him and if he was to go, I’d want to follow. “Let’s do it”

“If you die, I’ll kill myself... If I die… you do the same” Dallas said drawing out the only real rule.

Bringing me back to now, after witnessing Johnny’s death at the hospital after the rumble Dallas broke. Johnny was gone, and everything came crumbling down for him. He ran out before I could stop him leaving Pony and I to walk back to the Curtis’ to share the awful news. We had been back for only a few minutes before Dallas called, and once Darry told us we bolted from the park. I ran as fast as my feet would carry me.

“Dallas!” I yelled seeing him running, he stopped in his tracks under a street lamp. I swear I saw him look at me as he raised his unloaded heater. A fool, that’s what my love was, a blasted fool. The officers didn’t know his bluff, shots fired and Dallas fell. He was gone before we could even make it to him.

Darry was yelling, something about Dallas just being a kid. Most couldn’t control the tears that raised in their eyes or the sobs that left their mouths as we neared his body. Every memory with Dallas from this moment backwards went through my mind in a flash. Suddenly Dallas’ voice filled my head, ‘If you die, I’ll kill myself... If I die… you do the same’’. I had to honour the pact.

Tears fell down my cheeks and I choked out sobs. I turned to Darry and then to Pony, “I’m so sorry.. But I promised Dallas” I said.

I grabbed Dallas’ heater took a few steps forwards, before raising the heater at the nearest officer. It didn’t hurt when I was shot, it felt like I’d had a pebble thrown at me but I assume that was just because of the shock. I fell to the ground and the last thing I heard was Pony’s voice.

“Not Bella too”

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 15

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 8,982

WARNINGS: Fluff, Cursing

Summary: Aliena is doing better. She’s found some happiness again. But now she has a new worry, is she going on her first date with Thomas Shelby? 

MASTERLIST  CHAPTER 14  CHAPTER 16

A/N: This chapter is a fluff! Nothing but fluff! You guys deserve it ‘cause... It will only last for so long. Also, please check out this post-- it will clear up a lot of things and I’d love it if you guys could respond.

“Hello, my love!” I shrieked as I ran to Karl. I picked him up from his cradle into me arms. He was gumming his hand. I made all sorts of noises at the sight. It is purely because I found babies so adorable! I bounced him in me arms as I walked over to Ada, who was busy fixing herself up.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Ali!” Ada shouted. She was prettying herself up in the mirror. 

I shook me head as I pinched Karl’s chubby cheek. He grumbled ‘n swatted me hand away. I laughed as I replied. “It’s no problem really! I mean I am the Shelby Family’s maid, after all.”

Ada turned ‘round to me with a pout on herself. “I’m a Thorne now, Ali. I’m not a Shelby.”

I scoffed. “So, your brothers are not your brothers anymore. You’re a Thorne, afterall.”

“What?” Ada exclaimed as she was applying eyeshadow. “No, that’s not what I meant.” 

I turned Karl over in me arms as I sat down. Had him sitting on me knee, facin’  his mum. As I began to bounce him, I quipped. “Well that’s how it came out.” I sighed, defeatedly. “No, no. I get it. You’re a Thorne now. But remember Ada in the world that the rest of your family lives in, you’ll always be the sister to the big bad Thomas Shelby of the Peaky Blinders. Not to mention that you’ll be listed as a communist ‘cause of Freddie.”

“I’m not a communist by association, Ali. I’m an actual member now.”

I averted me gaze and gave a secret tight lipped smile. Karl lifted one of me fingers into his mouth and I gasped. “Ada, Karl has a little tooth growin’!” 

Ada scoffed as she turned ‘round while fluffing up her hair. “You don’t have to tell me that! I feel it every time I feed him.” I think she rubbed her breast, subconsciously.

We both let out a small laugh. 

She sighed before walking closer to us ‘n took Karl into her arms.

I wiped me finger on me skirt then dusted off me hands. “You still breastfeeding Ada?” I asked as I reached over to pull down Karl’s shirt that had ridden up.

She nodded. Ada was patting his back. “Yeah. I’m planning on breastfeeding him until he’s one. But, don’t worry like I told you when I telephoned ya— Freddie and I bought formula for days like this.” Ada handed Karl back to me and then walked off.

I rose to me feet and followed her into the kitchen. I’m guessing she wanted to show me where she kept the formula at. I held Karl’s arm me hand, and I waved it up and down. 

Ada reached into a cabinet and showed me the formula. She showed me how to make the bottle. 

I actually knew to make a bottle of formula because I helped me sister make bottles for her daughter, but I wasn’t confident abar it now. Different times, different amounts. 

After she made the bottle, she handed it over to me. “He’s probably getting hungry by now.”

I took it then we walked back into the living room. We sat down. I positioned Karl’s head to be in the crook of me left arm while his body laid across me lap then I put the bottom in his mouth. 

Ada reached over to Karl and smoothed out his clothes. She sighed. “He’ll drink that then fall asleep. When he wakes up, wait a little while ‘cause if you change him when he wakes up— it’ll all be for nothing.”

I glanced over at her ‘n nodded. “Okay.”

We fell into this comfortable silence as we stared at Karl. That ‘til I heard Ada suck in a breath. Me head snapped in her direction. She was red in the face. 

“Ada,” I asked. “What is it?”

She fanned her eyes before waving me off. “It’s nothing. I just hate it when I leave him.”

I gave her a small smile. I knew what she meant. He’s been her solace in crazy times, I’m sure. But, I laughed— hoping to quell some of her worries. “Haven’t you left him with babysitters before. Geez, Ada! I swear he won’t die on me watch!”

She laughed a little then finally scooted back into her seat. We fell into another comfortable silence. The clock and Karl’s gulping were the only sounds audible in the room. He eventually let go of the bottle and I brought him to me shoulder. I made sure to suppress the urge to bounce him as I patted his back.

“When is Freddie coming?” I asked Ada.

She hurriedly rose from her seat and walked closer to the clock. While playing with her necklace, she replied. “Any second now.”

Any second was actually twenty minutes later. Freddie ran in, grabbed Ada, and they both ran out of here like a bat out of hell. I scoffed to meself as I repositioned Karl in me arms. I was cradling him in me arms. I got up and walked over to the rocking chair Ada had in the living room. 

I just sat there with him as he was napping away. Staring at his face. It’s been such a long time since I held a baby in me arms. I couldn’t help but trace his features. But, he didn’t like that and started squirming ‘round. I stifled a laugh and muttered an apology. I dropped me hand and used it to support his bum. I patted his bum as I began to rock us. 

I debated humming a song, but I couldn’t decide which one. Plus, I didn’t want to wake him up. I decided to just look around the flat. It was little. Adequate enough for a little family with a newborn, in me own opinion. However, I could only stare at the room  for so long.

When I was sure Karl was deeply sound asleep, I rose to me feet slowly and walked to his cradle at the same pace. I held me breath, and when I was abar to set him down— I couldn’t help looking over his face. 

I felt like a mother who had lost her child…

I shook me head and laid Karl down. I wiped me hands on me skirt, then walked ‘round the flat. It had little life. Barely any photos on the walls, the colour of the walls were this muted grey, and there were hardly any furniture or utensils. It was like they were prepared to run at the first sign of trouble. But, it was theirs. 

I sighed while walking into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, me palms were digging into it. Then, I folded me arms and was just with me thoughts. I was thinking abar Cillian Murphy’s filmography. All the movies he was in. 

It felt weird now ‘cause of Tommy. But, the two movies that stood out to me the most were The Edge of Love and Sunburn. The Edge of Love gave me an, probably, unrealistic idea of how Tommy was before the war. 

I smiled at the idea. I, subconsciously, raised two fingers to me lips. I looked down in shock before me hand slapped over me mouth. I stifled a chuckle which came out as a snort. 

I fluttered me fingers to rid meself of the absence of a ciggie. Then, I lifted meself onto the counter.

Sunburn was a movie I was fond of. A very young Cillian Murphy is all I need for me justification. His character was not very honorable, but when are men ever. When are people ever! 

The movie was flashing through me head, but it felt wrong. It felt dirty, in a way. Made me chuckle, not gonna lie. I didn’t even catch meself when I began comparing Cillian’s characters to Tommy himself. 

I bit me lip and hopped off the counter. I clapped me hands together softly before rubbing them together. “Let’s clean, shall we?” I whispered.

Ada didn’t ask me to clean, but I’d figured that I’d just clean up whatever I found. I wasn’t going to go into any rooms. Since that was an invasion of privacy. But, did everythin’ else. I dusted off the walk-in carpet, then swept up the ‘ole house. When I was done with that— I wiped down the tables in the living room ‘n kitchen. 

I raised a hand to me temple as I used the other to support me weight, all while leaning on the table I finished wiping. I looked over at Karl’s cradle and stood still. It’s not like I could hear his breathing, but he wasn’t fussing either. 

I tsked, dropped the towel on the table, ‘n then walked over to the fireplace. Ada and Freddie had a collection of books on the overmantle. I looked over the titles and chose the one I was most familiar with. Tess of the D'Urbervilles, it was. I had the biggest crush on Gemma Arterton and Eddie Redmayne, ‘n I watched a TV show they starred in that adapted the book. 

After watching it, I read the book soon after. So, this wouldn’t be me first time crackin’ this story open. 

“When was the last time you read a story, Aliena?” I asked meself as I brought the cross pendant to me lips and ran across me bottom one. It was the one Tina got me all that time ago. I opened the book and began readin’ aloud while slowly pacing.

‘Cause I only remember growin’ up in America, I spent most of me life with an American accent. I adapted the accent when I moved to me second middle school. I just tried it for shits and giggles, but found that me existence there was so much easier when I did so. I didn’t ‘ave to deal with people asking me to repeat meself every time I held a conversation. 

It didn’t help that me ma’ was the scouser while me pa was from Boston. The only reason I didn’t develop a Boston was due to me ma taking care of me for the majority of me early childhood. Me pa was working morning till night. 

I didn’t feel like a true scouser nor a true American. But, I can affiliate more with my upbringing in California. It’s what I can remember. 

Anyway, the point I was getting to was that— I do different accents. American, me own, Irish, Russian, and Scottish. I never said they were any good, but I did them. And I did them when I talked too much for a long time, or when I was reading.

I was in the middle of a line when I heard a little whimper. Me eyes darted to the page number I was on ‘n I hoped I could remember it. I threw it on the couch and shuffled hurriedly to him.

Tears were welling up in his eyes. I cooed and took him into me arms. “It’s alright, Ka-.” I cut meself off as I felt wetness on me midsection. I sighed and looked ‘round for extra diapers and towels. When I couldn’t find any, I whimpered and just had to take the bullet. 

I held him closer to me and practically ran to the bathroom. I shifted ‘round in there and found some. They weren’t really diapers, not in me own opinion. I set the clean nappy on the sink before getting the rag, throwing it in there, and letting the water get warm as I ran it.

I sighed while looking down at Karl. “Your mummy is a proper divvy, Karl. Forgot to leave your nappies with me.” I huffed while pinchin’ his cheek softly. “Let’s get ya changed, love.” I stroked his cheek as tears fell down. I felt the water and I deemed it warm enough. I turned off the faucet and wrung some of the water out before I held it in one hand while the other grabbed the diaper.

 “Okay, love. Let’s get you cleaned up now.” I was looking down at Karl the whole time as I walked back into the living room. 

Me gaze, finally, shifted up ‘n standin’ there was Tommy. A frightened yelp escaped me and I clutched Karl tighter.

“For-! For goodness sake, Tommy!” I shouted. I huffed before I continued me hurried shuffle over to the couch. I laid Karl down ‘n began changin’ him. 

“So, this is where you were. Had to find out from Polly. I need to talk to you.” Tommy said while looking over his ciggie. Titling it in his hand.

I scoffed. “You’d know where I am, if you’d let yourself have the time for a chat once in a while. Do you remember the last time you rested, Tom?” I blew a strand of me hair out of me face as I gave him a teasing glance. I bundled up Karl’s soiled nappy and held it up for him to take. “Go on before you ask me this favor, do one for me.”

With his hands in his pockets and leaning back, he scoffed at me. Tommy rolled his eyes before taking it out of me hand ‘n walkin’ away to throw it in the bin. Hurriedly, I took off me jumper when I was done dressing Karl then I took him into me arms. I was bouncing him in me arms by the time Tom walked back in. 

He cleared his throat, tsked, and then pointed at me. "I wanted to know if you’re feeling better.” Tom sniffed, flicked under his nose, and then looked up at me.

Disbelief was no doubt written all of it. I scoffed as I bounced Karl in me arms.

“Tommy Shelby, you-!” I scoffed again before it turned into a cackle. “You did not come here to ask me that! Why’re you blaggin’ for?” I continued to cackle long enough ‘til me knees grew weak ‘n I started folding in on meself.

Tommy’s tongue prodded the inside of his cheek as he tried to fight off a grin. He sighed loudly before walking toward me and the baby. “Fine. Ada expressed her worries to Polly the other day about you taking care of Karl, and I offered to come ‘n help.” He held his arms out and waved me to give Karl over.

I looked at ‘em up and down. “You? You are gonna help me take care of a baby?” 

Tommy gave me a look before wedging a hand between me chest to grab Karl. “I have taken care of one before.”

I threw me head back in a giggle. “Who?” I shouted. “John?”

He nodded. “And Ada. And Finn. And fucking Arthur, too.” Tommy turned Karl ‘round in his arms, so that Karl was snug against his chest. Then, he lifted the boy in the air.

“Oi! No swearing ‘round Karl. Ada will have us both for it.” I dusted me hands off before I wiped them on me skirt, and then I sat down. Tommy was still playing with Karl, throwing him up in the air. 

When I felt Karl’s head was too close to the ceiling, I whimpered. “Oh, do be careful!” He snickered. I couldn’t deny that Karl’s giggling was like music to me ears. It truly warmed me heart.

Tommy caught Karl one more time before he crashed on the couch and let Karl sit in lap. Karl began tugging on the lapels of Tommy’s coat. I watched them ‘til it was painfully that I was being stared at too. 

I met Tommy’s gaze and we held it. We held it for a while ‘til I couldn’t take it anymore. With me face heating up— no doubt, giving away me feelings, I jutted me head out with widened eyes before I started giggling. I rose to me feet and walked over to Ada’s phonograph. 

I picked a random record and put it on. “I can’t stand silence.” I said while not looking back just yet. I turned ‘round with me hands locked at the fingertips. “Are ya hungry? I can make you something.”

Tommy’s eyes flickered to me, but he looked back at Karl. “Have you eaten yet, Ali?”

I rolled me eyes while me hands dropped to me waist. I could lie and say no, but if I forced meself to eat— it could end badly for me. But, perhaps while I’m cooking I’ll get hungry again.

“No, I haven’t. So, I’ll check what they have.” I said while walking off. I looked through the cabinets and found some canned food. I could replace it another time. 

I was sitting down in a chair while I watched over the pots. I was waiting for the bubblin’ or whistling. I heard footsteps behind me and there was Tommy with Karl.

He handed him over to me which I happily obliged to. “Hello, little one. Your uncle finally decided to hand you over.” Karl just began to babble in reply. 

I looked over at Tommy, who had just finished settling himself in the chair opposite of me, and asked. “So, how is that tattoo of yours healing?” 

He finished lighting up his ciggie and said. “Nicely. I reckon that it’ll be fully healed within the week.” 

I hummed while bringing my attention back to Karl. Tommy got a tattoo some weeks ago. It was a rose intertwined with a horseshoe on his left bicep. I had a hold on Karl’s hand and I was making him punch the air between us. I made fighting sound effects as I did so. I leaned forward and made him punch me cheek softly. I threw meself back at the contact which made him laugh.

“How evil!” I exclaimed. “Why are you laughing abar that? Huh!” I hugged him as I pretended to eat his neck. His giggles never stopped as he flailed abar. I sighed and hoisted him on me hip as I got up. I walked over to Tommy, took his ciggie from his mouth, and handed him Karl. “Hold him, yeah?”

I put the ciggie in me mouth and took a puff. I used a spoon to check if the soup was burning at the bottom ‘n all that. As I turned off the stove, I took another pull. I walked over to the cabinet that had the plates and bowls in it ‘n took two out. I poured in the soup then walked carefully back to the table. 

I sidestepped, wiped me hands of me skirt, took the ciggie from me mouth ‘n placed it back in his before I took Karl into me arms. I walked back to me seat and settled down. I looked up Tommy who had just finished taking a drag.

“Should I be worried that you don’t cough anymore, Ali?” Tommy quipped.

I shrugged. “No?”

He scoffed as a small smirk graced his face. Tommy leaned forward, stubbed out his ciggie, and gripped the spoon. “Ya know, if I knew you were going to cave this early about my smoking and drinking— I would have saved meself the stress.”

I gasped, exaggeratedly horrified. “Do you know how hard I did try! You just go on and smoke the moment you’re not in me sights. Pssh. Don’t even get me started on your terrible drinking habits. You drink alcohol like it’s water! If I’m not the one giving you water, you won’t drink it!” I shocked me head and grumbled under me breath.

Tom snickered. “Watch what you say, Ali. What if Karl learns it?” He threw me a teasing glance before looking back down at his soup. 

I tsked. “I didn’t even curse, so shut your piehole!” I groaned loudly. “You’re so lucky that there’s nothing here I can throw at ya. And that you’re so far away!”

Tommy’s lips smacked before he asked. “So, you’d hit me with Karl in your arms? Show him your violent ways?”

Me eyes practically came out me head. I snorted. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you! But, yes. Yes, I would.” 

I focused back on Karl. I let him teethe on me finger for a while ‘n I was just watchin’ him. I was just reminiscing that fact that me baby niece used to do that same when she was younger. I mean, of course she did, she was a baby herself!

I shifted me eyes back at Tommy’s and he did the same. A snicker escaped the both of us.

Tommy and I ended up taking care of Karl for abar three more hours. It definitely was a sight. I mean I knew he cherished family a lot, but I never thought of him as a “family man.” I just didn’t think he’d help me out with Karl as much as he did.

I mean wasn’t it more of a big deal in the 50s and 60s? Abar the whole absence of the father in the family dynamic. The father figure just being the either overbearing brute or the couchpotato? I don’t know. All I can say is that we both tuckered out Karl. Once he was asleep— Tommy and I caught up a little more. Just talked abar the simple stuff.

Right now, I was busy adding up some numbers in the shop while Polly was talkin’ to me. 

“I’m just saying! When are you gonna be bringing home a lad?” She was smiling down at me while nursing a ciggie.

I rolled me eyes as I smiled too. I scoffed. “Polly, I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s not for me own lack of trying!”

Polly shoved me shoulder while she whispered. “It’s ‘cause you still fancy Tommy.”

Me head flashed to her direction as I stifled a loud gasp. I swatted her leg as I exclaimed. “Polly!” I resorted to spluttering for words as she cackled. Me hands were covering me forehead. I sighed deeply. “I’m tryin’, Pol. I really am. I’m trying to stop caring for him.”

I dropped me hands and looked up at her. I gave her a solemn smile to which she did the same. Polly tsked before she hopped off me desk ‘n caressed me cheek with her thumb. Polly awed before she cradled me head to her stomach.

She whispered. “You’re too good for him anyway. My sweet little one.”

I didn’t dare stop the smile that took over me face. 

“Aliena!” 

Polly and I detached from each other to see who was calling out to me. 

“Aliena, Tommy sent me to come fetch ya!” Finn shouted with a red face. 

Polly and I both sighed. We gave each other a look. A look that said, “This damn kid. Shoutin’ like we were miles away from ‘em!”

I rose to me feet and before I could start tidying up me station, Polly took me face in her hands. “Go on.” She said. “I’ll take care of this.”

I gave her a quick grin as I reached for me coat.

“God only knows what he wants with you this time!” Polly chimed as she dusted off the shoulders of me coat. Polly stepped over to Finn, licked her thumb, and wiped the dirt off his face. He shirked away while I cackled at his expression.

I sighed as I tugged on me gloves. “C’mon, Finn! Can’t have your brother waitin’ long or he’ll throw a fit.” When I was done, I put me hand on Finn’s shoulder and we began our journey.

When we were some ways away from the shop, I decided to break our little silence. 

“So, Finn,” I began. “are you still studying?”

He began to groan exaggeratedly while he attempted to rest his head on me shoulder. I scoffed.

“All right!” I shouted. “Just remember, Finn. I’m not the one you’re hurtin’.” Under me breath, I muttered. “At least you know how to read and write.” I looked back at him. Finn was already me height. We were standing shoulder to shoulder. “Oh, come ‘ere you!” 

I threw me arms ‘round his shoulders ‘n pretended to put him in a headlock. 

He protested, more like begging me to stop. I didn’t stop teasing ‘em ‘til we got to the office, company headquarters, whatever. Just a few men work here. Men who were intelligent enough to handle the legal stuff and keep their mouths shut.

Finn and I marched right to Tommy’s office. Finn knocked on the door and Tommy shouted for us to come in. 

“I brought her, Tom.” Finn said as he took off his cap. Looking just like the eager little lad he was. 

Tom looked up at us. “Good job, Finn. Now, piss off.” Tommy motioned to the door with his ciggie. “Aliena, come here.”

I turned to Finn and pinched his cheek before walking over to sit in a chair. I settled meself while taking off me gloves. I let out a deep breath before I asked. “So, what am I doing ‘ere, Tom?”

He didn’t answer me yet. He was still working on whatever paperwork that was in front of him. So, I took in his appearance.

Tommy looked tired yet not. Like a boy who was not gonna admit to being tuckered out since he was having so much fun. He wasn’t any thinner or bigger. So, I think that’s a good sign. Tommy had his coat hanging, but his suit jacket is draped ‘round his chair. 

I looked away after a couple of seconds of staring. I resorted to admiring me fingernails and humming a random song. 

When Tommy, finally, cleared his throat— me head snapped back to him. “I had Finn get you ‘cause I wanted to tell you…” Tommy intertwined his fingers as he leaned back into his chair. “That I’m taking a day off tomorrow.”

I blinked.

And then I began to blink rapidly. 

And then me hand slapped over me mouth as I tried to desperately stifle me laughter. 

Very strainiously, I asked. “Why the fuck did you need to tell me abar this?” I giggled loudly. I took a deep, calming breath before I sat up straight ‘n looked Tommy in the eyes. He had such an amused look on his face. “I was fucking working, Tom! What the hell is this about?”

Tom leaned forward, resting his clasped hands on the desk. “It’s simple. I’m taking a day off to rest and I want you to rest with me. Tomorrow’s your day off too, so unless you have plans… You should be available to join me.”

I can’t deny that me eyes widened a little before me face contorted in confusion. “What are you up to Thomas Shelby? Huh? Why aren’t you planning a boy’s getaway or somethin’?” 

Tommy averted his gaze to the left while dropping his jaw a smidgen ‘n widening his eyes. “Because I want to spend the day with you.” 

I glared at him. I trusted this as much… You know what, I don’t have a metaphor for this feeling. It felt like he was asking me out on a date, but he wasn’t asking me out— like directly! Tommy would have explicitly said this was a date, no? I think he just wants to hang out then.

I sighed as I fell back into the chair. I rested me right elbow on the arm of the chair and rubbed me forehead. Me eyes flickered to Tommy’s. “Fine. Yeah, alright.” 

Tommy pursed his lips a little before he nodded. “Good, it’s settled then. Be ready by 10.”

I scoffed, me jaw dropped dramatically. “Is Tommy Shelby plannin’ on sleeping in?”  

He rolled his eyes as he muttered. “Shut up.”

I stuck me tongue out at him and then relaxed again. “So, is there a dress code for this occasion or what?”

Tommy rubbed his fingers together as his gaze dropped to the side. He looked back at me and said. “I could care less. Just don’t come in your work clothes.”

I glared at him again. Me gaze dropped to his little bar cart as I asked. “Do you have a plan as to what tomorrow entails?” I started picking at me skirt. Picking it up and smoothing it out repeatedly.

Tom tutted. “I was thinking we would walk around London. I’ll take you shopping or something like that. Then at 12:30, we are going to eat at a fancy restaurant called The Barge.” He gave me a pointed look as he continued. “Is that alright with you?” 

I gave him a tight-lipped smile as I nodded. I tsked and sighed as I rose from the chair. “Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow. At 10. Not wearing me work apparel.” I turned ‘round and waved him with the back of me hand. “Night, Tommy!”

“Night, Ali.”

I had a smile on me face the whole walk home. I couldn’t help it. It felt like a date. 

It felt like a date. But, it wasn’t. Right?

I ran into the house ‘n immediately darted for the phone. I phoned Cassie. 

“Ali, what’s up?” Cassie asked once the operator put me through.

I stumbled with me words. I didn’t know how to phrase this. The word “date” just kept running through me mind. “I-uh! So, Tommy…”

“Dear God, Ali! Did you both get into another fight? I told you I didn’t want to hear it if this happened again!”

I scoffed and shouted. “No! Cassie, no! We didn’t get into a fight. On the contrary, Tommy has asked me to spend tomorrow with him.” 

Cassie got quiet. “What?” She whispered.

“Yeah.” I said breathily. I brought one of me hands up to me forehead. “He didn’t explicitly ask me out. Like he didn’t say the word date, but it feels like he asked me out on one.” I squealed as quietly as I could into the phone. “Oh, Cassie! What if this is actually it?” 

Cassie sighed, quite defeatedly— might I add. “Aliena, sweetie. Let’s not throw this out of proportion just yet. Did he tell you this was a date?”

I sighed as I turned ‘round and rested against the wall. “No.” I quipped childishly.

“Then, it’d be safer for you to go in this without that kind of mindset.” 

There was a silence between us.

“I don’t want you to get excited then get your feelings hurt, Ali.”

I tsked as I closed me eyes and held me forehead again. I ran that same hand through me hair as I said. “Yeah, your… You’re right.” I shook me head as if I was shaking those thoughts out of me head. “So, ever heard of The Barge?”

Cassie scoffed. “Of course, I have. I go there sometimes for seafood.” 

I hummed. “Okay. Well, what kind of setting is it? Actually, don’t answer that. Lemme guess, aristocratic.”

Cassie laughed, dryly. “That’s a nice way of saying only rich people eat there. But yeah, it is. So, I would suggest wearing something semi formal. You know something that would not-!”

I rolled me eyes. “Yeah, I know what semi formal is, Cass. I wear something that would make Angie suck her teeth, but not tell me to go and change.”

“That sounds good.”

I huffed before saying, “Thank you for helping me. And bring me back down to Earth.”

“Anytime, babes. I hope tomorrow goes well for you.”

I laughed dryly while looking up at the ceiling. “I do too.”

I hung up the phone not too long after ‘n went upstairs to shift through me clothes. I had decided on a black dress with puffed long sleeves, a square neck cut, and a slit on me right thigh. I wore decent sized heels and I was going to keep me hair down. As for makeup, I was going to keep it light.

A nude lip, foundation, winged eyeliner, mascara, and some white in the corners of me eyes. I was debating putting some white on me lids too. I decided against it after I tried the look out. 

The next morning, I woke up ‘round six ‘n made meself breakfast. After that, I took a bath and washed me hair. It was fucking baltic, la’, but I fucking did it! After I was done, I kept me hair wrapped in a towel as I got ready. 

I put on me matching black undergarments. Bra, panties, and I almost put on a garter belt— but then I remembered the slit in the dress. When I had those two on, I lathered me legs and arms in lotion ‘n then focused on drying me hair. I just kept wringing the water out of me ends as much as I could. 

I, then, brush out me hair which caused me to repeat the whole wringing me ends process. After that, I hurried to begin putting on me makeup. It took up more time than I thought it would since I kept fucking up the eyeliner. I’m blaming me nerves. Any other time, I’ve been perfectly steady-handed.

I threw me lipstick down and checked the clock. It was 9:45. I groaned exaggeratedly as I rose to me feet. I quickly put on me dress as carefully as I could manage ‘n then put on me heels. When I was done, I went back to me desk and brush out me hair one more time. I took a deep breath.

“I feel like somethin’s missin’.” I muttered to meself. I snapped me fingers as the idea came to mind. ‘Jewelry!’

I dropped to me knees and pulled out me box of jewelry. I debated between me ma’s set and me papa’s set. I, ultimately, decided on the pearl set. I struggled to put them on as I stumbled to me feet. 

I was putting on me right earring when there was honking outside. Jitters shot through me body. I took a deep breath. I finished fastening the earring in and I smoothed out me dress.

I hurriedly grabbed my clutch and ran down the stairs. I was putting on me coat when Tommy honked for the fifth, sixth, seventh time. I huffed before shouting, “Hold your fucking horses!” I opened the door and flailed me arms out. “Jesus, Tommy!” 

I walked over to the passenger side, his head following me the whole time. I slid into the car with a loud sigh. “Good mornin’, Tommy.”

He didn’t reply. He was still lookin’ at me up and down. I gave him a goofy grin in return. 

Tommy cleared his throat. “Good morning, Aliena.” And with that, he started up the car again ‘n we were out.

I fiddled with me coat as I asked. “So, where are we headed first?”

Tommy scoffed while tilting his head to the side. “ How about you stop worrying about it and you just sit there ‘n look pretty.”

I rolled me eyes and tried to stop the smile that wanted to envelope me face. I cocked me eyebrow as I looked at him. “So! You think I looked pretty.” I teased in a sign-song tone. I threw me head back as I laughed. But, then I quickly sobered up and said. “You can’t take it back!” I looked back down, picking at me coat while humming.

Tommy looked at me, emotionlessly. I gave him a toothy smile in return before me hand smacked over me mouth and I looked away. 

Tommy sighed. “Do you ever not laugh?”

I shrugged. “Don’t know.” I tilted me head in thought. “Huh.”

‘When was the last time I didn’t laugh? Like I used to not laugh this much. Does it have something to do with my mental illnesses?’ I thought.

“Well, come out with it.”

I looked at Tommy and shook me head. “Is nothin’. I’m just a giggly person.” There was a short silence between us before I broke it. “Wait, ‘ang on a mo’! Haven’t we known each other for abar three years now? Why are you complaining abar me giggling now?”

Tommy replied, calmly. “I have aired my grievances before.”

I tsked while crossing me arms. “So, why are you still complaining abar it?” I grumbled.

Tommy looked at me before ruffling me hair. “‘Cause you still give me the same vague answer.”

I gasped horrified and scrambled to fix me hair. 

Eventually after a very animated car drive, we made it into the city. True to his word, we strolled ‘round for some time. It wasn’t ‘til I clocked some very nice looking shoes did we stop and go into the shop.

I tried preventing him from buying me the red heels, but he wasn’t having it. It was confusing the hell out of me, to say the least. And once we went in that store, we were going into every other store. I’d say he bought me like two new dress, four new work blouses, four skirts to match, two new pairs of stockings, and a necklace.

“Tommy! Enough now! What are we going to do with all these bags at the restaurant?”

Tommy gave me the most mocking facial expression as if the answer to me question was so obvious! “Stop fussing, Aliena.” Tom turned ‘round and motioned his arm in a wave, like he was calling someone over. And he actually was. Two men walked up to us with peaked caps.

Immediately, me hip dropped to the side and me arms folded. Tommy handed them all the bags in his hands then took the bags I was holding ‘n gave ‘em to them too.

Tommy cleared his throat curtly ‘n pointed his finger at them as he gave them orders. “Now, boys, take these to the car and drop them off at the betting shop. Tell Polly to put these in Aliena’s room.” He waved his hand, turned toward me, gripped me by me arm, and then we walked. 

“Why were they here, Tom?” I asked, slightly miffed. 

“Well, the more obvious answer is for protection. You know that.” 

I rolled me eyes. “Of course, I know that. You think I don’t know you ‘ave men following me ‘round sometimes when I’m out of the city with me mates. Well, I do. But, what I don’t get— is why they were here if you’re here?” 

Tommy sighed. “I only called them here, so that they would get the bags.”

I squinted me eyes and attempted to playfully put me finger in his face. “That better be the truth. Or I’ll kick ya shin.”

Tommy scoffed while throwing his head back. “Deal.” Tommy pulled out his watched and read the time. With his grip still on me arm, He sighed ‘n said. “Right, come on. Don’t want to be late for our reservation.”

I shook his hand off, to which he gave me a pointed look. “Don’t give me that look. Give me your arm right, will you!” I wrapped me arms ‘round his and we continued walking.

I could tell we were finally at the restaurant ‘cause of the huge ass sign. I let out a sign of relief. “Finally, we can sit down.” I whispered to meself. 

Tommy hummed in response. Not that I was looking for one. 

We walked up to the receptionist. They asked us for a name to which Tommy gave him and we were shown to a booth. A rather secluded booth. Red flags were popping off in me head, but I didn’t want to seem paranoid— so I kept it to meself.

Tommy motioned for me to enter the booth first, so I was going to— but I had to take off me coat first. Tommy helped me as I took it off. He held it for me and kept his hand out for me. I tucked me dress under me bum as I slid into the booth.

Another flag was raised as he chose to sit so very close to me. Hardly had any arm space. So, I slid over a little more. 

The waiter gave us each a menu and said they’ll be back when we’re ready. I looked it over and debated just getting a salad. Ya know for… Appearance sake.

Then, I saw there was a lobster dish and caviar. I was sold. I. Was. Sold. As for drinks, there is no soda! So, I’m going to leave that up to either Tommy, or I’m getting water. Do they serve apple juice here? No.

Because I was making jokes in me head, me hand kept flying to me mouth to both stifle me giggles and hide me smile. Luckily, I wasn’t audibly giggling. Time and place, Aliena!

I looked over to Tommy ‘n asked. “Do you already know what you’re getting?”

Tom sniffed before replying, “Yep, have you figured out what you’re having?” 

I nodded, but then I began to double-check the prices of everything. Getting the lobster dish and the caviar was like getting two main courses, right? It was, actually, pretty expensive. So, maybe— I should just pick one. Unconsciously, I started to nibble on me fingernail. Not trying to bite it off or anything, just biting down on it softly, repeatedly.

Tommy grabbed me hand and took it into his. “What are you fussing about now? Show me what you want.” 

I pointed to the two dishes while being hyper aware of the fact that he was still holding me hand. Oh, was I fucking freakin’ out in the inisde!

“Right then. We’ll order both.” Tommy let go of me hand and settled himself in his seat. While reaching for his ciggie case, he muttered. “Not like I’m paying for it.”

Me eyes practically bulged out of me head ‘n I had to will me hand not to slap over me face. I leaned into him and whispered. “Thomas Shelby, are we doing a runner?”

Tommy smirked as he placed his ciggie in his mouth. “Not exactly.” He lit the bloody thing and closed the lighter with a loud snap.

I furrowed me eyebrows in confusion as I tried to think of another possible reason. While I was thinking the waiter came back.

“Can I take your order?” He asked.

I was abar to say yes when Tommy cut me off. “We’re not ready quite yet. But, we’d like to order some white wine.” 

I rested me left elbow on the table, me thumb ‘n pointer finger were shaped in an L-shape as I used it to support me head. I looked at Tommy with an eyebrow raised. I waited ‘til the waiter left to ask. “And why are we not ordering yet? We were ready.”

“It would be rude to have our food be done first.” He looked at me, deadpan.

It finally clicked. “You doin’ a deal, Tom?” I asked, full with spite.

“A little one, yeah.”

I sucked on me teeth and looked away from him while I cradled me temples with me right hand. I wanted to be more upset, but I wasn’t. This was just typical Thomas Shelby behavior. I dropped me hand after I let out a calming breath. 

“Right.” I said. “So, am I to be eye-candy during this deal or do I have job? Have to seduce him or something like that? Follow him out of this place.”

Tommy shook his head as a little chuckle escaped his mouth. “Nope. You’ll be doing none of that. I’m just killing a bird with a stone.” 

I snorted at the expression. Me hand went to covering me mouth. “That’s not-!”

“I know.” Tommy quickly replied. “I asked you to come out with me today because you mentioned we haven’t talked like we used to, and you’re right. This was the perfect opportunity to do so… While sweetening my deal with Mr. Daniel Taylor.”

I smiled as I shook me head. I locked me fingers, rested both of me elbows on the table, and then rested me chin on me hands. “So, this is what you meant when you said I should sit here and look pretty.” 

A smile tugged at the corner of Tommy’s mouth. “Yes.” 

I watched as Tommy took a drag from his ciggie before I dropped me arms and straightened me back. 

It took Mr. Taylor quite some time before arriving. The wine came before him, for Christ’s sake. 

Tommy placed his hand on me back, signaling for me to stand with him. 

“Mr. Taylor, nice to see you again.” They shook hands then Tommy motioned his hand toward me. “This is Ailena Welsh, my companion this evening.” 

I shook Mr. Taylor’s hand ‘n exchanged greetings. I’m happy to say we ordered not too long after. I did just as Tommy told me too. To sit here and look pretty. I didn’t jump in the conversation nor did I maintain eye contact with the man. It seemed that this was “Danny” from season three. The future leader of the Birmingham City Council. Just like mentioned in the episode, Mr. Taylor had interests in steelworks in Cradley Heath. Tommy offered to help him get his products to carmakers.

That’s the jist of it. After tuning into those parts of the conversation, I focused on the expensive meal in front of me. I absolutely loved the caviar. It suited my tastes perfectly. I had to contain me joy, though. Didn’t want to look comical in front of the client, after all.

“Oh, we’ve been chattin’ up a storm, Mr. Shelby. I don’t want to leave your missus out of the conversation. How is the meal, dear?” Mr. Taylor asked me.

I covered me mouth as I hurried to swallow down the bite of scran I just took. I only spoke once I was sure me mouth was clear. I dropped me hand ‘n said. “Oh, it’s lovely.” I nodded me head for emphasis.

“How is the caviar? Have you had it before today?”

I shook me head. “No, today was my first time tasting it. I thought it was delicious.” 

“Oh, well. I’m glad that it suited your taste.”

I nodded and gave him a polite smile. Tommy reached under the table and squeezed me hand. Almost reassuringly. Luckily, after that little “inclusion,” the conversation ended ‘n it was back to only them. Fine by me, to be honest. 

It seemed that this meeting was coming to an end when a man walked up to Mr. Taylor and whispered something into his ear. Mr. Taylor stood up as did we. “Well, looks like I’m needed elsewhere. It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Shelby.” They shook hands ‘n then he took my hand. “And it was nice meeting you, Ms. Welsh.”

I let out a little, “Likewise.” 

Mr. Taylor let after that. Me eyes darted to Tommy and I asked, discreetly. “He’s still paying the bill, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, thank God.” And with that, we sat back down. “That seemed like it went well.” I chimed.

Tom was busy lighting another ciggie. “Yes, it did.” 

Now I was busy debating whether to ask him if he knew there was a loo in this joint, if I should just walk ‘round ‘til I found one, or just hold it.

“If you need to use the restroom, there’s one for ladies ‘round the corner.” Tommy muttered. 

Me head snapped toward him. “Huh?”

He sighed before smiling. “I said if you need to use the lavatory, then there’s one over there.” He pointed to a door, which a woman came out of.

“Oh.” I looked back at ‘em with a pout. “I knew that.” I got up and walked to it. 

 After I handled me business, we left the restaurant ‘n began walking again. On the way, I had to beg Tommy to go through the park. I just admired the scenery, honestly. I’ve been in the park loads of times with the girls. But only the lord knows when I’d get a chance like this again.

I was walking a little bit ahead of Tommy. I was taking big steps while twirling ‘round. “Oh, come on, Tommy! Live a little!” I shouted as I was still twirling.

“I live plenty.” He rebutted.

I rolled me eyes as I said. “Boo!” I put me thumbs down for emphasis, but it ended up making me laugh. I twirled front and started teetering me head from left to right with me hands locked behind me back.

Just as I turned me head ‘round, a gust of wind blew through me hair. A very picturesque moment, if I do say so meself. If only I had a hat.

I hurried to fix me hair which made Tommy laugh. “Oh, do one!” I shouted. I swatted his chest once he walked up to me. Tommy was still laughing as he helped me fix me hair. I stuck me tongue out at him.

“You know. I’d say you are more petulant than Ada and Finn combined.” He quipped as he was still helping me.

Me jaw dropped slightly. “Isn’t that just a sophisticated way of calling me the biggest brat you’ve ever met?”

Tommy snickered with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Can never get one passed you, can I?”

I glared at him. “No. No, you can’t.” I shook me head before I bursted into a fit of giggles. 

After that whole fiasco, I made sure to stop twirling ‘n stuff. I walked side-by-side with him. I had a really strong urge to hold his hand, but I fought it. I’m just used to doin’ that is all. I hold all of the girls’ hands whenever we’re out. Angie tried fighting me off at first, ‘cause— manners. But I broke her down! Tina just went along with it, though. I’m guessing she just wanted to avoid conflict.

We made small talk, but mainly basked in the silence. It was nice. I was focusing on kicking a pebble when I heard Tommy scoff.

“What?” I asked while not looking up.

“What did the pebble ever do to you?” He asked in a teasing manner.

Me head shot up and I stopped kicking the pebble. I shouted in surprise since I walked ahead of the pebble, but sighed in defeat as I decided to just keep walking. 

Tommy shook his head.

I pouted. “You made me lose it.”

“There’s plenty more. Choose another.”

I pouted harder while crossing me arms. “No, that one was mine.”

Tommy sighed while shaking his head. I could see his grin from the corner of me eye which made me smile as well.

The moment we exited the park, Tommy made it clear that we were going home. I shrugged and accepted it. The car ride was, for its majority, silent. I had me eyes closed and I was letting the wind flow through me hair.  

I like it when the wind froze me ears. My comfort action wasn’t sucking me thumb rather I played with me ears. I played with me pa’s ears too. I missed being able to do it from time to time.

When I felt that we were near the house, I sat up straight ‘n opened me eyes. Tommy parked in front ‘n I opened the car door.

“Well, thanks for the day out. And for the fancy meal. And for the new clothes.” I was abar to step out of the car when I remembered a certain promise I made. I pivoted me body ‘round and kicked his shin.

He hissed. “The fuck!”

I cackled as I jumped out of the car. “Said I’d do it, didn’t I?” I skipped over to the pavement and then twirled ‘round to get one last look at him.

He was shaking his head. “Ali!” He called out to me. 

I threw him a mocking look. “What?”

He beckoned me with two fingers ‘n I’d be lying if I said that that didn’t have no effect on me. So, I walked up to his window ‘n repeated meself.

I stared into his eyes as he said. “Your hair looks better when it’s down. I wanted to tell ya that.” I blinked in response. Flabbergasted, I was. “I had a nice time too. Night, Aliena.”

I whispered. “Night, Tommy.” He started up the engine and I instinctively stepped back. I watched as he drove off before a hand came up to me hair ‘n I stroked a strand of it. A smile creeping up on me.

I ran up to me room soon after ‘n threw meself on the bed. Me thoughts were racing a million miles per hour. 

What the hell was today? Why did he decide to spoil me of all people? He could’ve taken out Polly, no? Or, his brothers? But it wasn’t just a free business lunch, he bought me clothes and a necklace. 

Oh my god, the necklace! It was a simple locket necklace, but it was jewelry from him, nevertheless! Whose picture would I put in it? I would have put me parents in it, but…

And I can’t bloody well put Tommy in it! Maybe I should put Polly and Cassie. 

I twirled a strand of me hair ‘round me finger.

Maybe I should start wearing me hair down more often. 

I grabbed me pillow ‘n squealed into it while kicking me legs.

You know, this could be boiled down to an inferiority or superiority complex. I have rich friends who shower me with expensive gifts ‘n maybe this was a show that he could do it too now.

I shrugged me shoulders with an facial expression to match.

Who cares. His attention was practically all on me today ‘n it felt like a date.

Even though, it really wasn’t.

I began squealing in me pillow again!

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​ @xxbeckybeexx-blog

[jamkookies]

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐚. 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤. ♡

𝑺𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒂'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒑 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒂𝒅. 𝑬𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑱𝒐𝒋𝒐. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒆, 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍, 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆? 𝑸𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚.

Pairing: OC X Barista!Jungkook

Contains: humor, mutual pining, fluff, cuddles, vine references, hurt and comfort, sexual tension.

Warnings: swear words, angst, dark themes, anorexia, mentions of self-harm, starvation, binge eating.

Word count: 30k+ (don’t ask)

A/N: I spent almost a year working on this, during which time I went on and off from writing. It’s finally here and my excitement is through the roof. Special thanks to @keopitae​ for sharing her thoughts on the fic and for her continuous support. Eli out.

____________________________

"My name is Jojo and I suffer from an eating disorder."

The words echo across the small bathroom walls, crashing against the mirror I so passionately detested. Punching the mirror as hard as I can, blossoming cracks scatter in every direction. The pain in my right knuckle screams, blood already oozing out of the peeled skin.

Fucking cringe. What was all this for? Was there a camera up my ass for acting all dramatic and shit?

"Good job, Jojo, you just ruined another one." I sigh and let the running water wash the blood off my hand. This was the third time this month and honestly, I think I deserved a slap across the face for the amount of money I was spending on fucking mirrors.

Heh.

That made it sound like mirror prostitution.

I grab a bandage from the stack I kept on the drawers and wrap it around my injury. Talking to your reflection first thing in the morning wasn't exactly the best way to start off the day, but it had been a mere attempt at self-therapy. Well, since I can't go to a real one, anyway. Too bad it didn't work.

 I sigh one more time for good measure and pull a hoodie over my head.

 Ah yes, a hoodie. The ultimate piece of clothing. 

Feeling cold? Wear a hoodie. Your bra is cutting your blood circulation and you can't keep it on anymore? Wear a hoodie. You feel self-conscious of your body and try to hide every curve and shape? Hoodie is your best friend.

I put on a pair of sweats to complete the look because let's be real;  everyone loves a baggy outfit. Not even sparing a glance at the mirror anymore, I unplug the charger from my phone's ass and sit down for a second to scroll through some memes.

Yup.

That's exactly what a person does after losing their job.But come on, I mean who fires someone just because they went to take a piss? Yes, it took fifteen minutes and yes, I was in the middle of working, but my dude, I drink three bottles of water a day. I need to let it out somewhere.

I take a deep breath as if to clear the disarrayed thoughts in my head. As much as I tried to make it sound funny, it wouldn't work because, at the end of the month, the rent wouldn't pay itself. Living on your own had its pros and cons and up till now, if I was completely honest, I had only seen the bad side of it.

 Supporting my hands on the sofa, I try to stand on my feet but almost flop back down. Every time I get up, black spots dance across my vision. I can even see whole galaxies and not in the pretty sense of the word. One time I think I witnessed the glory of the Milky Way itself.

The pills that are strewn across the floor remind me of the impulsive decision I'd decided to make last night so I collect them one by one and put them back in the bottle.

Maybe some other time, I think to myself. Another day.

I'm perfectly fine, after all. I did lose my job yesterday and now I'm hanging on a thread for dear life but it's fine. I can make this work. A small green apple on the counter is the only promise of a so-called decent breakfast. 

"Well hello there, little guy," I say before sinking my teeth into the juicy flesh of the innocent fruit.The apple doesn't respond.I take my phone out of my pocket and tap on the Notes app.

  52 calories are way too fucking much for an apple, I think to myself as I aggressively type the number down.This was about the only positive side of this disease. I was more educated on the nutritional values of food than a real dietitian.

This was how it all had started in the first place — from wanting to make healthier choices to cutting on particular groups of food. Just a slight change. Nothing too alarming. But then, I had to know what I was eating, right? So I start counting.

And that's how it all went to shit. 

After I finish eating the apple and throw its core into the almost empty trash can, I wash it down with a tall glass of water. At last, my animalistic hunger was sedated and I could finally move on with my life. Indeed.

I grab my keys and shut the door behind me, wanting to go out for a while, maybe clear my head a little bit. It's not like I had to feed my kids or anything. There was nothing holding me back. So, I exit the apartment building, my keys clinking in my right pocket, and I hop on my beloved bike, parked right on the corner of the street. Did I have any idea where I was going? No. Was that going to stop me from strolling around like I didn't have a pile of shit waiting to be dealt with? Hell no.

I start pedaling like crazy from the moment I put some distance between my apartment and the main street. Maybe it was because I needed to let off some steam, maybe the amount of calories I would burn excited me. Either way, that doesn't justify the high pitched scream coming from a girl that I almost run over.

 I skid to a stop, the hands on the brakes stopping me from a fatal mistake. The girl's face has gone pale and one of her hands is clutching at her chest, terrified.I notice the way her flawless make-up matches her porcelain foundation, the fitted jeans hugging her slim legs like a second skin, and I feel sick.Sick for the fact that I'd almost killed this girl and all I could think about was how skinnier than me she actually was.

"Watch where you're going, fatass!"

Scratch that.

The Regina George flashback turns it all around.This bitch was going down.

I throw the bike aside in the middle of heavy traffic and shoot daggers from my eyes at her ridiculously perfect form. Any shred of remorse I'd felt up till now dissipates like a wisp of smoke on the wind."The fuck did you just say?"

She flinches from the humorless tone of my voice and I can see from the way her eyes widen that she's starting to regret her poor choice of words. 

"I–"

Before I can blink, she's out of my sight, scurrying away like a frightened little mouse and I can't help but huff an incredulous laugh right there in the middle of the street. A car honks loudly behind my back and I don't hesitate to flip the guy off, the hint of a smile still lingering on my lips.

I wasn't taking any shits from people today.

So I hop on the bike once more and round a corner in search of a place to cool down a little bit. My eyes roam over the long line of stores and shops decorating both sides of the road in a flourished aesthetic and pause on the frame of a particular coffee shop, the strong flavorful smell inviting to my senses. I don't have to think twice before leaving my bike on the sidewalk and entering the shop with curious steps, scanning the interiors in a quick once-over. I sit by the window since it faces the street and make myself comfortable enough to attract a few pair of judging eyes. 

A woman seated on a table close-by looks at me disapprovingly, staring at my clothes for a little longer than needed. She was probably wondering why was a tomboy wannabe man-spreading with an arm thrown across the chair like she owned the place.

Look, ma'am. It's the twenty-first century. No one gives a shit about girl mannerisms anymore.

"Didn't anyone tell you staring is rude?" I say, not bothering to make myself look somewhat presentable. She looks appalled by the bluntness of my words, probably not used to being called out so straight-forwardly but it seemed to have worked as she just turns her head on the other side, pretending to not have heard anything.

That's what I thought.

I fish my phone out of my pocket and scroll down mindlessly. A distraction more than anything. But I don't even get the luxury of having a moment's peace when a pair of black stomper shoes slow down to a stop down my line of vision. I raise my eyes deliberately, following the two long legs protruding from them that connect with a bulky chest till I finally reach the top.

A boy.

No, a man.

Well, a mix of both.

His well-built figure screams "I've never skipped a day at the gym", the veiny muscles tight against the black shirt he's wearing. A swirling black tattoo makes an appearance on the side of his neck, disappearing inside the collar of his shirt, peeking again at his biceps and then snaking its way down his arm. There are multiple piercings on both of his ears, the silvery dangling pieces curtained by a mass of black messy hair reaching past his cheekbones and falling in front of his eyes carelessly.

Those eyes...

His whole physique resembled that of a fully grown man but his eyes were the ones who gave him away. Big and round and boyish.

I wasn't sure why I had spent more than a minute ogling at a stranger coming up to my table. Maybe it was the dark, mysterious aura radiating off of him or the way he was looking at me expectantly. Still, this motherfucker was too handsome for his own good. And he still stays right in front of me, unmoving, waiting for something.

"Are you lost, child?" I ask, looking at him dead in the eye.

He scoffs, clearly offended. "Child?"

"Your fly's down." I deadpan.

Unfortunately for him, his eyes slightly dip down to the front of his pants.

"Ha! I made you look!" I proclaim, a spark of amusement making the corners of my lips upturn. 

He, on the other hand, doesn't look so happy, his curled up fists shaking by his sides, trying to keep himself in control."Can I take your order?" he grits the polite words through his teeth, even though he looks like he's about to strangle me from any second now.

"You're the waiter? Where's your uniform?"

"I don't have it with me." The boy's expression has turned angry, irritated even by the consistency of my questions.I decide to take it down a notch or two for the sake of the bulging vein on his throat, threatening to pop off. "Kay, chill. I was just asking."I lean closer and put my elbow on the table. " Soo...You come here often?"

It's his turn to deadpan. "I work here."

"Whoops. Silly me, I forgot." 

"Are you gonna order or not?" He can't help the slight raise of his voice, more than enough proof that his patience was wearing thin.

Uh oh. Hoe's mad.

I throw a leg across my knee in the most arrogant way possible and lean back on the chair. "Aren't you gonna write it down somewhere?" I ask, raising one eyebrow.

"I can remember it." he simply answers.

Fine then, pretty boy. Let's see how you remember this.

"I'll have a quad long shot grande in a venti cup, half calf, double cupped, no sleeve, salted caramel mocha latte with two pumps of vanilla."

Oh, I've definitely made him mad now. 

With a look of pure hatred on his face, he clenches his jaws together and stomps off in the opposite direction with God knows how much memory of the order in his head but before he can go further, I shout for him to stop. I was starting to feel bad for the boy with the long hair flying behind him dramatically. Not to mention, there was no way in hell I'd let that much sugar enter my body.

"Wait!"

He pauses and slowly turns around."I changed my mind. Just a cup of dark coffee will do. No sugar."

Surprisingly, a subtle smirk creeps its way on his lips, throwing a whole new light to his features. "Aren't you gonna tell me to make sure it's darker than your soul?"

Hmph. The little puppy can bite back, after all.

"Nah, that's overused," I say. His eyes scan me from head to toe and then he pivots on his heel, disappearing behind the multiple tools of the counter, probably communicating the order to someone else. It doesn't take long for him to come back once again, his long elegant hand gently picking up the cup of coffee from the tray and putting it on the table.

In that fleeting moment I can make out a messy layout of tattoos; a smiley emoji on his middle finger, four small crosses in the spaces between and a bunch of other symbols I don't recognize. All that, gracefully completed by a gorgeous black flower and a bunch of other patterns wrapped around his forearm. 

How contrasting it was, the way his appearance clashed with his personality. Did I actually know him? I think so.The guy was obviously kind enough not to spill the thing all over my clothes in an act of rebellion and I had to say it was an admirable thing to do considering how far I was pushing his limits. I am almost ready to hold out the olive branch to him.

Almost.

"I thought I said no sugar," I say, noticing the small white pack by the side of the cup."I guessed you would probably change your mind again." he teases, but the displeasure is still quite evident on his face.

Interesting.

"Next time, just make sure to do what I say." I retort, very much aware that I was prolonging the situation more than needed, but I just couldn't help it. I was really enjoying the reactions I got from him every time I pushed his buttons. 

He's practically fuming with anger but still doesn't fall prey to my relentless attacks, instead choosing to walk away like a civilian.

Pity. I wish he'd stayed a little longer.

The coffee is absolutely disgusting. Its bitter aftertaste almost makes me gag. 

This is what happens when you refuse to add sugar to any kind of drink, Jojo. It basically tastes like shit.

I forcefully down the last gulps and rise from my table, leaving a tip for the emo kid even though I'm running low on money. He deserved it after putting up with my bullshit for that long.

The woman staring at me earlier goes wide-eyed when I lift two fingers to the side of my brow, offering her a salute before making my way out of the coffee shop.

 I don't eat lunch that day. Not even dinner. I just stare at the black screen of the turned-off TV, sipping water from my mug like it's the most flavorful thing in the universe and not having the energy to even cry myself to sleep anymore. I do that every night. Cry and cry and cry like there's no tomorrow. It feels relieving somehow— like I've let something off my chest, even though momentarily.

I grab my phone and type down the stupid number anyway. 

2 calories. I write 2 calories for a fucking cup of coffee like it's gonna make a shit ton of difference.

Fucking ridiculous.

I want to sink deeper into this misery, let it consume me whole till there's nothing left, but like a beacon of light, the image of that boy's face emerges into the surface. 

"That guy was cute." I voice the words that have been on my mind all day before falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

There she was. That girl again.

In all my three years of working here, I'd never encountered someone so rude, shameless and utterly irritating. She's sitting on the same spot from yesterday, looking out the window and throwing casual glances at her phone. She also has the same baggy hoodie and sweats, probably too lazy to even bother change into something else.

 However, what attracts my attention is the bandage wrapped around her hand, a pink hue visible where her knuckles should be. I'd noticed it the first day too, wondering where in the world would she get that kind of wound. She did seem like the type of girl who would get into fights actually, judging from her boyish clothes and brash personality but I wasn't sure if–

Whatever.

It was none of my business and I had work to do, anyway. I couldn't be bothered with the antics of a rebellious teenage girl. The glass I'm wiping almost slips out of my hands. Bold of her to call me a child when she couldn't be more than five feet tall. I wondered if her feet even reached the pedals of her bike.

"Hey Jungkook, you got a customer." Kwan's voice shakes me out of my thoughtful state as he flicks his chin towards the girl.

"Can't you get this one for me?" I grimace."Why? Are you afraid she's gonna bite?"

"Seems like it."

His eyes narrow into slits as he glares at me suspiciously.

"Come on man, just do what I say for once," I insist, not really wanting to deal with her shit for a second time. Kwan raises his palms up in surrender and goes to take the girl's order, but not without mumbling a "kids these days" on his way out.

The girl looks up from her phone upon  Kwan's arrival but then her eyes quickly roam around as if searching for something. They exchange a few words too quietly for me to hear amid the general bustle of the shop, and then my coworker is by my side before I can blink.

 "Nothing to be scared of, Jeon. She just asked for a green tea," Kwan says and grabs a number of items from the counter.

"So, she didn't say anything rude?"

"Nope."

"Not even an insult?"

Kwan tsks with his tongue.

Hmph.

Maybe she just hadn't been in the mood yesterday because there's definitely something different about the way she's just sitting there–

Barbecue sauce on her ti—

A snort accidentally escapes from my lips and I lower my head further to hide the embarrassment of the uninvited thought.

"Something funny?" Kwan asks, looking up from the tea he was brewing. I click my tongue just as he'd done.

 It takes about a minute or so until the order's ready and I note the way the girl's face contorts with each sip of her tea as if someone had actually put a gun to her head to drink that horrendous beverage. She still drains the cup to its dregs, though.

Gets up.

Sways a little.

The hand wrapped in bandages holds onto the table for support and she finally pushes herself up to her feet. A little light-headed, if you ask me.

That confident image I'd created of her yesterday, crumbles into pieces when I observe the vulnerable state she's currently in. I wasn't sure why I was paying much attention to a complete stranger who I would probably never meet again, but I just couldn't stop myself. It was like being pulled into a black hole and finding yourself secretly enjoying it even though your gut tells you that it's wrong. 

It was weird but true.I'd experienced it before.

The brief moment of realization had been enough to make me get lost in my thoughts so I snap my eyes back to the girl's table only to notice that the seat was empty.

She'd left.

~JOJO ~

Discipline. I need to practice discip–

Fuck. Is that a hamburger?

The delicious treat from the glass showcase of a fast-food restaurant winks at me and my mouth waters just by looking at it. When was the last time I ate anything decent? I rack my brains out, calculating the number of calories I'd consumed for the last two days and the only results are an apple, a cup of black coffee, green tea and maybe a tank of water.

Wait!

I did lick that spoon of peanut butter this morning, so in total, 144 calories. Might as well call it a fast for all I care.

My breath quickens with every push of the pedal, thighs burning with the strain. It's been almost three hours since I left the coffee shop and I'm pretty sure the tires of my bike must be deflated from going through every damn corner of the city.

Why would I do that? Because I'm a stupid ass bitch who likes to push herself to her limits and who doesn't know what rest means.

I know I'm going too far. I know it won't be long before all of this comes crashing down on me, sending my progress back to the starting point, but I can't seem to stop. Not when the ecstasy is so overwhelming, filling me up with a fake sense of achievement. This was probably the reason why this disorder was addicting. It made you feel like you had the reins in your hands, not it.

Not her.

Oh, Ana. How much I wanna fucking kill you right now.

It was all her fault, after all. 

No. It wasn't her fault. It was the people's fault.They were the ones that said things. Things that hurt me. And their words didn't affect me directly but they fed my insecurities. 

It was confusing, actually.They said I was fat. I tried and built some muscle by working out.They said I looked too manly with my muscles now. It didn't suit me.I dropped ten pounds starving myself.

What did they want?

What was the right body?

I didn't know anymore.There would always be something not right, not good enough.

I grip the handlebar tighter when the flood of old memories engulfs me without warning, making its appearance like an uninvited guest. I'm not even sure how it all started in the first place because believe it or not, I was the biggest body-positivity enthusiast.

And then suddenly I wasn't.

And then I find out that there's a whole community out there with people just like me but so radical, so different from anything I'd ever seen before. At first, I was outraged, disgusted even, by the naive statements of young girls saying they wanted the thinnest body possible, fantasizing about skin and bones, but as time went by and as I delved deeper and deeper into the swirling vortex of these intoxicating thoughts, I started succumbing to them. They suddenly seemed appealing.

I let out a sigh between heavy breaths.

Did it matter now? Besides, that guy didn't even show up today. Maybe it's his day off or something.

The brilliant rays of the afternoon sun make the glass panes of the cars passing by gleam like a swarm of fireflies.It would've looked pretty if it weren't for the way it made me shield my eyes. I was already having a hard time trying to keep them open as my strength started to run out, the view in front of me doing half–circles and then turning back to its optimal position. My legs feel like lead and I stop pedaling altogether, letting my bike guide me instead.

Tired.

So, so...tired.

A familiar face swims into my line of vision. It's the emo kid. 

And he's....falling?

The handlebar spirals out of my control and my knee hits hard concrete. That face is the last thing I see before a black cloak of darkness swallows me whole 

~JUNGKOOK~

Never in a million years would I have thought  I'd have to carry a random person to the nearest hospital on my way home. Yet here I am, sitting on a chair for the past hour, staring at the girl's chest rise and fall with slow, rhythmic breaths. 

There are fresh bandages wrapped around her scraped knee and multiple bruises all over her body. I'd seen the slightest look of surprise cross her face before her eyes rolled up in her head and she fell off the bike, hitting her head in the process. It had been a chaotic situation, that one. People had kept gathering around, trying to sneak a peek at the accident but still not doing anything to actually help. So I'd taken things to my own hands, done my duty as a normal person would.

Then why are you still here, Jungkook? my logic reasons with me. The doctor said she would be fine so why are you still sitting over here, waiting for her to wake up?

That's right. I should be going.I lean my palms on my knees but before I can fully rise from the chair, the girl's eyes crack open. She takes a look around the room, analyzing her surroundings, and then her eyes stop on my face. 

"Who the fuck are you?" she croaks.

Here we go again... I internally sigh."We met at the coffee shop. Or don't you remember?" I answer, praying for her life not to get my anger rise so fast.

"Right," she says, even though something tells me she had known exactly who I was in the first place. "The fuck are you doing here?"

"I saved your life."

"Why bother?"

"You should be grateful, you know."

"Did I ever ask for your fucking help?"

I had to admit I was slightly taken aback. The girl swore and cursed worse than a sailor. As if on cue, a jumble of profanities spill from her lips as she struggles to sit up, suddenly finding herself tangled in tubes and needles trickling colorless liquid into her veins.

 "Get this shit off of me, " she says and rips the said piece from the inside of her forearm.

"You should keep that for a little longer." I protest, hands already reaching for the needle laying on the sheets but she flinches from my touch and throws a leg across the bed, attempting to get up.

 "Sit down!" I say a little harsher than I intended but it was impossible not to.

Unbelievable.

Her nonchalance and irresponsible behavior made me want to punch her in the face, regardless of her being a girl. At last, she has the dignity to actually do what she's told. "Someone's cranky, " she mumbles as she leans back on the pillow.

 This girl must have a split personality disorder because only two seconds later her legs are crossed comfortably despite the nasty injury on her knee and she's leaning forward with her cheek on her palm, staring intently at me with a curious smile hanging on her lips. 

"You never told me your name, " she says.

"You never asked, " I reply.

She scowls. "Stop trying to play the smartass with me, child and just tell me your fucking name."

"It's Jungkook."

Her eyebrows lift in surprise.

"I know, it rolls off your tongue, doesn't it?" I tease.

"Actually, it sounds like a chicken dying, but okay."

My lips twitch in amusement, trying to suppress the silly smile demanding to make an appearance.

"To be honest, I'm kinda disappointed, " she continues. "I was expecting something more special, like Sebastian or Gabriel or something." She scratches her chin while her eyes still stay rooted on my face. "You know what, imma call you Juan. Yeah, Juan's better. Got that Latino vibe to it."

Her never-ending shenanigans were pure torture so I decide to turn the tables for a change. "And what is your name?" I ask.

For once, she doesn't try to make fun of me. "Jojo."

Cute.

"It fits you."

Her eyebrows scrunch themselves together as she carefully observes me. "Hmmm....Anyway–" She crawls to the side of the bed and grimaces when her left foot leans on the floor. "Thanks for spending your precious time with me, Juan but now I gotta blast."

"Miss, I'm gonna have to ask you to sit down, please," another voice is heard and the doctor I'd talked to earlier steps into the room. He stares the girl, Jojo I remind myself, down but she doesn't relent, staring right back with the same intensity.

"I'm perfectly fine—"

"Your blood sugar levels are at their lowest point, that wound on your knee needs to be changed continuously or else you'll get an infection and you might have a concussion from the way you hit your head. I'm surprised you're still even talking."

There's a slight tremor in her pupils, which I 'm pretty sure is caused by the panicked state she's trying to hide. She plasters a smile on her face. "Come on now, Doc. I'm sure you can let me off this one time. The fact that I'm still talking proves I'm better, right?"

"Miss—"

"I'll accompany her, " I blurt without thinking and both of them snap their heads in my direction. No turning back now. "I'll make sure she gets home safely," I assure him.

"I don't need your—" Jojo starts, but her words falter when she meets the doctor's glare. "I mean... sure, why not?"

The doctor seems satisfied enough as he turns on his heel without a moment's hesitation. However, he hasn't even made it past the threshold when he pauses, turns halfway around and looks at her dead in the eye. "And by the way, miss. You should eat something. Your heart's gonna fail at this rate."

I could have sworn I saw something flash behind her eyes but she doesn't show it, choosing to keep that sad smile on her face like an anchor linking her to sanity.

"Son of a bitch." I hear her mumble under her breath.

~JOJO~

Son of a bitch I repeat in my head over and over again till the words start to sound foreign to my ears, suddenly losing their meaning. 

That damn doctor just had to point out the fact that I hadn't eaten anything for the last couple of days. He was right, of course, but that didn't stop me from mentally sending a series of curses his way.

I have never felt so shitty in my life. Both physically and mentally. My head feels like it's going to split in half, the stinging of the wound on my knee is crying like a bitch and there's not an ounce of strength left in me. 

Powerless. 

And if that wasn't enough, Juan's endless questions only add to my misery.

"For the last time, no, I don't live with my parents," I say for what felt like the gazillionth time, still refusing the hand he kept offering my way. I might be on the verge of collapsing but under no circumstances was I to let myself be held like a damsel in distress. 

Nuh-uh.That's a line you can't cross, mister.

"That sounds kinda hard to believe," Juan says and sticks his rejected hand back in his pocket, probably to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Bitch, I don't need your approval to say something. If you don't want to believe me, fine. Suit yourself. "

His shiny black hair glints in the darkness, catching the beams of moonlight as he flicks it away from his face. "How can I be a bitch? I'm a male." he retorts.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Man whore." I reply, putting a clear emphasis on the last syllable. 

He scowls, seeming genuinely offended by my words, especially when he says " Swearing is rude, you know."

"You know what else is rude? Asking people too many questions."

"But can you blame me, though? I mean you pretty much look like a high-schooler who ran away from home."

I stop dead in my tracks. "You have a strong sense of guessing."

He blinks. "Wait. You're  really a high-schooler who ran away from home?"

I resume my walking, using the concrete wall on the side of the road for support. "For your information, I did finish high-school so suck on that."

"But you still ran away from home, right?" he insists.

"Oh for fuck's sake— yes, I did run away from home. Are you happy now?"

The blank look on his face, combined with the slight shrug of his shoulders almost causes me to snort. "Cool, " he says, unbothered."Aren't you gonna ask why I did it?"

"Not interested, " he states and looks straight ahead, completely ignoring my presence."Liar. I can see that you're one of those assholes who are dead-curious about everything."

"Am not!" he whirls on me.

I scrunch my nose and sniff the air around me like a wild dog hunting on its prey. "You smell that?" I ask him.

"What?"

"Smells like bullshit to me."

Even in the darkness, I can see the dramatic roll of his eyes, causing their whites to stand out. He had pretty big eyes, this guy. They softened that edgy aura he gave off, all muscles, tattoos, and black clothes. And the fact that he tolerated my irritating behavior, which I was deeply aware of, made him look even more appealing to my eyes. 

"Why did you volunteer to take me home, Juan?" I quietly ask, glancing at him through the corner of my vision.

He seems to mull the question over in his head for a moment, eyes staring his shoes down. "I don't know. You seemed like you needed some help." He throws a look at me. "Which by the way, is still valid. You look like hell."

For some reason, that makes me retract my hands from the wall and I try to keep myself stable on my own two feet, limping heavily on the process. 

"What exactly happened with your bike?" he continues, unaware of my recent action.

"I was busy stalking hot guys all day, so my bike got tired. Guess she just couldn't handle it anymore." 

The boy doesn't seem to fall for any of my lies, narrowing his eyes till their nothing but slits. "Do you tend to not eat when you stalk hot guys?"

This little shit...

"Nah, it's just that I'm so fucking forgetful." I immediately reply. "I forget to eat all the time.

"He doesn't relent, still boring holes into my eyes. 

"Hey, what's with all the questions, anyway? I thought you said you were not interested?" I repeat his own words.

"Right, " he admits.

My apartment building comes into view, the looming structure now as familiar as the back of my hand. "We're here, " I announce. My eyebrows raise in wonder as his legs keep heading for the entrance of the building instead of pausing.

 "Where are you going?" I ask.

"To your apartment, obviously."

"What the fuck makes you think you can come to my apartment, boy?" I did not want him to see anything personal of mine, yet for some strange reason, I found myself hoping he would stick around a little longer. A little controversial, considering the fact that my words proved otherwise, but I couldn't just say that to him, could I? Like, hey, kid you're nice. Let's have a little chat before you go. 

Ridiculous.

"I'll just escort you to the door, " he assures.

"No need for that."

"But what if you fall down the stairs?" he insists.

"You got me there." I punch in the code at the main entrance and hurry up the stairs as much as my limp would let me, Jungkook's eyes never leaving me for a second. After what felt like an eternity, I grunt  heavily and lean on the doorstep of my humble apartment. "Okay, you've done your service, soldier. You're free to go now."

Jungkook throws a quick glance at my mustard-colored door, probably weirded out by it but then his eyes flick to my empty hands. "Where's your keys?" he wonders.

My mouth gapes open and my eyes go the size of tennis balls as I frantically pat my pockets. When I notice the way Jungkook's lips part slightly, I burst into hysterical laughter, jiggling the retrieved keys in front of his face. "You should've seen your face!" I laugh. "Hilarious."

He exhales, relieved. "I thought you'd lost them."

"Nah, Juan. I forget a lot of things but not my keys. Besides, these bitches stick up my ass like fucking glue." 

The door's lock clicks with a flick of my wrist but I resist the usual temptation of kicking it wide open, in fear of letting emo-kid sneak a peek. It's not like I was embarrassed of the mess in my apartment or anything like that but it felt weirdly intimate to let someone else get a glimpse of my domestic life. In fact, I hadn't invited anyone over since...

Yes, it had been that long. 

Jungkook notices my reluctance and clears his throat. "So...um...you're all good now, so I better leave. You should–you should take care of your wound."

How weird to see an overgrown, muscular dude stutter and not know what to do with his hands. I usually didn't have the tendency of stereotyping but this definitely struck me as odd. 

I smirk. "Getting shy, Juan?"

He almost flinches at my words. " What? No!"

"Are you waiting for a thanks then?"

A stray hair falls in front of his eyes but he doesn't move it away from his face. "That's not something you ask from people."

I bite my tongue and try not to let the pain on my leg get to me as I squeeze into the room through a thin sliver of space. Still, his words bring a smile to my face and as much as I try to suppress it, it just keeps floating on the surface again. "I'm not an asshole, Juan. So thanks."

"Actually, you refused to say thanks from the start—"

"Okay, now you ruined it," I interrupt. "Get outta here."

He slowly starts to back off and his lips stretch into a barely contained smile. "Good night, Jojo." And then just like that, he's climbing down the stairs with his long legs taking two or three steps at a time.

I shut the door and lean on it for a moment, sighing deeply through my nose.

"Little shit, " I whisper. 

Rise and shine.

That's exactly what my alarm tune doesn't say. Even after so much time hearing it pierce my ears every single morning with its shrill screech, I can never stop myself from wanting to smash the damn thing into pieces. However, that's the only thing that can actually get my ass up from the bed. All the other gentle-sounding melodies had proven to be absolute failures, dragging me even further into the sweet crevices of sleep. 

The numerous late arrivals to work had made me suffer more shouts and scoldings than I could remember from my boss. The guy was a total dick. Good thing I don't work there anymore.

My room is still coated in patches of darkness here and there, the bright rays of the morning sun nowhere to be seen. It is about 5:30, an unholy time to wake up, but since I was now unemployed, I had made an oath to force myself every day into going for a run outside. 

There was no overwhelming hustle and bustle, no moving crowds of people. The city had yet to rise from its slumber and the only activity on sight included slow, quiet movements of passers-by.

I finally kick the blanket off and swing my legs over the bed. The cold surface of the floor awakens my senses as I prepare to go over the usual ritual: Stretch, pee, step on the scale. 

The number has slightly changed from yesterday but not to the point where I want it to. A wave of disappointment washes over me. It happens every day yet I can never get used to it.

I decide to go easy on the breakfast. A cold glass of water, an apple, and a boiled egg. 

I probably should've thought about putting some pants on first, I say to myself as a crumb of egg yolk smears my bare thigh. I use the pad of my finger to wipe it off and cringe intensely. These thick bitches turned three sizes wider when sitting down and it only spurred on my body dysmorphia.

Disgusting.

Not forgetting about my daily dose of green tea, I hurry up before the sun rises and put some sports clothes on, which wasn't really that hard since they were the only thing in my closet. I shut the door behind me but it feels like something is nagging the back of my mind, demanding my attention. 

Did I forget anything?

I rack my brains out in search of a clue but nothing makes it into the surface. 

This stupid obsession...

Making sure my shoelaces are tightly secured and my earphones plugged in, I climb down the stairs and burst out of the entrance of the building. I welcome the sharp sting of fresh air that fills my lungs with a deep breath and waste no time to sprint into a run, the loud music already blasting my ears in full force.The wound on my knee does not approve of this but I don't give two shits. It can cry like a bitch for all I care.

It's easy at first, obviously. Your body is rested and unspent so you relish those twenty minutes with pure adrenaline flowing through your veins. But then, the run takes its toll on you. It's unavoidable.

The sky switches from dark blue to a pastel pink, announcing the official start of the day and reminding me of my tiresome condition. I'm panting like an asthmatic by now and my clothes stick uncomfortably with sweat so I slow into a light jog. The sting on my knee grows stronger and stronger til I can barely stand it. The clean sidewalk grows hard under my feet and it's all I can do not to faint from exhaustion. Running tires you out? Try running with not enough food in your system.

I scan my surroundings in an attempt to distract myself from the fatigue. A few trees lining up the street, a grey car hurrying to God knows where, hair—

Wait, what?

I redirect my eyes to the spot I was staring at and notice a mop of dark hair swinging wildly. The body they belong to is in fast-motion, arms shifting from side to side as the legs make long, speeding strides.

No fucking way. I guess it's not such a bad day after all.

I smirk as I gain speed, now heading straight  towards the boy with newfound strength. As I maneuver from side to side with a few random strangers, I can't help but stare at the way his sweatpants hug every curve of his butt. He had a nice butt, this guy. I'm kinda jealous. And as if that wasn't enough, the material of his loose T-shirt  turns darker from the collar down to his back, marking a trail of sweat. He'd ran just as hard from what I could see.

The music in my earphones dies out as I quickly catch up to him and slip by his side, matching his constant rhythm. He doesn't notice at first, but after the numerous glances I throw from the corner of my eye, he finally flinches and stops abruptly. "Jojo?"

His hair is completely drenched in sweat. The dark strands form wet tendrils on his forehead and numerous trails that drip from  his temples and down to his chin. He almost rips his earbuds  off and I have to say I feel slightly endeared. As a person who preferred not to be disturbed while listening to music, I could appreciate the fact that he removed them in the blink of an eye. If a person does that, he respects you. Simple as that.

 He gives me a look of mild curiosity, which for a surprise makes him look ten times hotter. I also slow down to a stop as a smile tugs at the edges of my lips. "Oh, hey Juan! Didn't see you there."

He looks behind his back for good measure and turns to stare at me. "Are you stalking me?"

I scoff in feigned annoyance. "What the fuck? Am I not allowed to go for a run now? Do you own these streets or something?"

"No, but—"

"Hey, hey, " I quickly interrupt him. "Less chatting, more running."

I will my feet to start moving again and he immediately catches up. "So...how are you feeling?"

"Tired, " I reply.

"I meant from last night."

Well that's a surprise. I didn't think he would remember it, let alone be worried about my condition. "Oh. I'm fine. It's nothing, really, " I wave a dismissive hand.

He stares at me for a moment too long before turning his head straight. "That's good."

After that, neither me nor him try to elaborate on the topic. For some moments, the only thing heard is our combined panting and heavy breathing and it doesn't do much to tame my wild brain from going places. I push the dirty thoughts aside for later reference and give my head a slight tilt to peek at him."Tell me more about yourself, Juan."

"What do you wanna know?" he asks without looking.

"Everything."

He laughs delightedly. "Ok but you're gonna have to ask me questions, though. I don't know where to start."

"Perfect. Where do you live?"

His neck does a ninety-degree turn with such a lightning speed that I'm scared he broke a bone or two. "I knew you were stalking me!" he exclaims as if he had made a scientific discovery.

I smack my lips impatiently. "Just answer the damn question!"

"Two blocks from here."

"That means the coffee shop is close to your house, right?"

"I live in an apartment, " he adds and gives a curt nod before his attention is back to me. "Okay, my turn now. Did you ever go to college?"

Not this shit again. If I hadn't been attracted to his ridiculously good looks, he would be rubbing at a sore spot in between his eyeballs. "Goodness, child. You really are stubborn."

"Hey, it's only fair if you keep asking me questions, " he protests and instead of angering me, the harmless expression turns my insides into jelly. I was finding it hard to keep up with the constant appearances of his duality. It was weird. I barely knew this guy and I still told him things so strictly personal that I'd never thought I'd say out loud. 

" I dropped out of college after the first year. Couldn't afford it."

And just like that, the jolly, playful countenance disappears to be replaced by a darker one. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I dropped too, " he continues. " Guess studies weren't exactly my thing."

"Oh wow. We have so much in common."

A pause.

"Where's your family?"

I was starting to think this kid was more interested in my personal life than me as a person. "Back home."

He doesn't say anything, waiting for me to explain further and unfortunately, I fall prey to his puppy eyes staring at me intently. An uncomfortable ball of imaginary yarn settles at the base of my throat. I try to gulp it down while fighting to keep the slight tremble in my voice from showing.  " They...did some things to me. Bad things. I'm never going back."

He notices my discomfort, bless his soul, and decides to drop it. "My parents live far from here and I don't visit them as much. So yeah, that sucks."

His poor attempt at sympathizing with me makes my lips crack into a subtle grin. "Are all parents bad or are we just awful teenagers?"

"Both, I guess, " he chuckles.

Just when I assume the twenty-one question game has finally come to an end, he proves me wrong for the bazillionth time. "Is there anyone you hang out, at least?"

"You, " I answer.

His eyes widen twice their original size and I laugh through my nose. "Just kidding. I have a friend called Anna. Such a nice, caring and sweet girl." My lips twitch on the side to impersonate a somber smile but I had the feeling it looked like I was having a nervous tick. "She's to die for."

Time is cruel to us, swallowing up each patch of daylight until the sky has turned into the purest baby blue and let the rays of sunlight fall astray into our poor backs. The heat and the exhaustion makes us slow our pace. Then, suddenly a sharp pain stabs me across my knee and I wince discreetly.

"Do you go to work?" Juan asks, oblivious to my current torture.

"No, I quit, " I say, refusing to admit that the reason for that hadn't really been my choice. "Why'd you ask?"

"Well, it's just that—" He abruptly stops and his eyes shift their attention to my legs, staring hard at them.

"What?" 

"You're bleeding, " he states, matter of factly.

I snap my head down and take note of the way my knee is soaked in a dark red stain, slowly webbing its tendrils along the fabric."Aw shit, " I curse under my breath.

"You need to go to the hospital, " Jungkook quickly intervenes before a long string of profanities can spill over my lips.

"No. No more hospitals. I'll just go home and put some fresh bandages on it."

"Okay, well let me come with you."

I take a step back and shake my head from side to side. "For the last time, I don't need your help, Juan. Here are my key—" I frantically fish my pockets but they're completely empty, save for that stupid paper towel that I had somehow forgotten there. "Fuck no! Fuck no!"

Juan's brow bunches up in distress as his judging eyes give me a hard stare. "You already made that joke once."

"I'm not joking around, you idiot!" I snap, probably a bit too harsh but the panic seems to have gotten under my skin for me to care at this point. "I forgot my keys!"

So, that's what kept nagging me in the morning. I mentally slap myself for being such a careless mess and vow to not make the same mistake again.

"Let's go to the hospital, " Juan calmly repeats, seemingly unaffected by my sudden burst of anger. I wonder if he was hiding his hurt on the inside. If that was true, I'd have to give him a round of applause because he was sure doing a hell of a good job.

"No."

"Do you want to bleed to death?" This time he can't help the hint of anger from seeping into his voice.

I say nothing.

"If you don't want to go to the hospital then come with me back at my place. I have some bandages too."

"Absolutely not!" I protest, outraged. If this kept going on, we would end up at each other's throats.

"Look, it's either that or the hospital. You pick." 

Shit. He had me cornered. Well, what was I to say? I liked hanging out with him but I also didn't want him to see me in such a vulnerable state and make me feel indebted to him. It had already happened once and I hadn't liked it not even one bit. "I can't just come at your place, " I say with a lilt of playfulness in my voice. My figure was already frayed at the edges and he was quick to catch sight of it. "What if you're a murdering psychopath in disguise?"

He smiles in earnest, as if I'd just told him he was the nicest guy on the planet. "Then you can always stab me with a kitchen knife."

This was wrong. This was so wrong. I couldn't just go to his house, dammit. I was letting my guard down way too much. No way I was doing this.

"Fine, " I finally surrender and wish I'd bitten my tongue in time before the word made it past my lips.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

By the time we get to my apartment, the sun has already reached its highest peak in the horizon and the powerfully bright rays start to make me feel a bit wobbly.

I had offered Jojo to at least hold on to me but she seemed hellbent on making it by herself. I could see how much the wound was hurting her, yet she refused to let any emotion whatsoever show on her face.

I open the door unceremoniously and pause to let her in first. She carefully shuffles her steps with a heavy limp weighing her down but I could see that she was still having second thoughts on whether to enter a complete stranger's apartment or not. As soon as she passes the threshold, I release a sigh I didn't realize I'd been holding.

Her head starts turning from side to side, scanning the interiors of the living room. I suddenly feel self-conscious. Is the place messy? Did I forget to put my socks on the laundry basket? I was worried she would shy away and leave altogether. 

"Nice place you got here, " Jojo says with a whistle.

I unconsciously smile but it fades away the moment she plops down onto the couch, ignoring the still-fresh wound on her knee. She even has the audacity to swing her leg over the edge and let it dangle there. So much for shying away.

"I'll go get the bandages, " I announce and retreat into the bathroom, keeping an eye on her from the way back. She gives me a salute before going back to studying the walls with curious eyes.

I hurry up and lock myself up in the bathroom and immediately, the sight of my disheveled look greets me in the mirror. My hair is wild, some strands clinging with sweat onto my temples and some flailing in the air like unmowed grass. My skin glistens with a fine sheen of wetness that makes me itch with discomfort and there's a pink blush settled on my nose and cheekbones. Did I really look like this all morning?

I let the water of the faucet run under my hands and give my face a quick splash. Why am I so nervous, dammit? It's just a girl. I really need to get a hold of myself. The image of her face reminds me of the reason I came here in the first place. I hurriedly grab the bandages from the counter along with some alcohol, cotton pads and a towel.

I take a deep breath and return to the living room with a forced air of nonchalance. "I got the—" I announce but the words falter when I see the empty couch. Where the hell did she go?

"You have very good-looking parents. No wonder where you got the genes, " her voice is heard from the other side of the room and I see her standing by one of the shelves, examining the tiny picture of my mom and dad, smiling at each other while my older brother cuddles my dog's white fur.

"Uh..thanks, " I manage as I scratch my neck.

At this, she turns around and finally looks at me. "Nothing to be shy about, Juan. You're handsome. You don't need glasses to see that."

"I—"

"Alright, are you gonna give me those or not?" she questions with a sly smile, pointing her chin towards the items in my hands and I internally curse from the distraction. Oh, she really did enjoy toying around with me. 

I prevent myself from stuttering another word and slowly approach her. She grabs the things from my hands and sits on the couch yet again. Her condition was no better than mine. A single drop of sweat slides from the side of her cheek and travels down her neck in an excruciating slow motion. Her complexion had turned ruddy and her hair stuck to her edges with perspiration. How she had managed to run so hard in that state was beyond me.

I silently hand her the towel first. "Dab your neck with this before you catch a cold."

 She looks at me with a slight tilt of her head but accepts it nonetheless, mumbling a "dab on them haters" under her breath. 

"What about you?" she asks aloud. "You're literally dripping." As if summoned, another drop of sweat free-falls from my chin and onto the floor.

"It's okay. I'll be fine, " I quickly reply.

"Well aren't you a tough cookie?" she giggles. "Get it? Tough? Kookie? Jungkookie?"

I almost snort. And as if that wasn't enough, the nickname she used made this weird sensation creep onto my stomach.

After she's done drying her skin, she crouches down to take a look at the wound that still kept trickling blood. Her careful fingers roll the dirtied bandage around her knee to reveal such a nasty sight, I almost gasp in surprise. The blood had smeared the skin around the edges and on its center there's a blackish liquid that looks like anything but blood.

"Oh shit, " she whispers, obviously not expecting the wound to be in such a degree. I move forward with worry in my trembling form but she's quick to stop me."No, it's okay. I got it."

"But it looks really ba-"

"Thanks Juan, but I said I can handle it."

I silently get back and let her do the work herself. She seemed so used to this process, as if she had done it countless of times before. Her hands are quick and agile, snatching the alcohol and cotton pads and then proceeding to wrap brand new bandages around her knee. Not a single hiss or whine falls from her lips. After she successfully finishes, she lifts her head to gift me a charming innocent smile. As if she hadn't just split her knee open. This girl...

After that, the room falls into an awkward silence so I keep looking everywhere else but her. "Do you want something to drink?" I offer.

"Once a waiter, always a waiter, " she sighs while scratching her forehead. 

"Okay, what do you have?"

"Let me check," I announce and head to the fridge without another word. I examine the contents within and yell from across the room. "Um... coke?" "I don't do drugs, " she yells back.

"As in the drink, Jojo."

"Oh. What kind?"

"The regular one."

"No diet coke?"

"No. Sorry."

"Okay, just get me a glass of water."

I come back with the glass and hesitate a split second before handing it to her. 

"I really like your place, Juan," she says after a tiny sip. "Its so....you."

A discouraged laugh escapes from me. "You don't even know me."

"Says who? I'm excellent at knowing people's personalities on first sight, " she continues after another sip.

"What about you then?" I suddenly ask.

"My place or my personality?"

"Both."

She considers it a moment before answering. "Well, both suck compared to you. Especially my apartment, Juan. You wouldn't believe the fucking mess I make all the time."

She sounded nonchalant about the matter but I could sense the discomfort behind the words. She was having it harder than she let on.

"What are you gonna do from now on?" I ask, careful not to sound intrusive. "You lost your job right? How are you gonna pay your rent?

She plasters a smile on her face. "I'll figure something out." 

Before I can push it further with my vast myriad of questions, she rises from the couch and sets  the glass on the table. " Well, I better go now. Thanks for the help, Juan. I'll see you around."

I watch with frozen limbs as she makes her way towards the door with that tilt on her step and wonder if I really was crazy after the next words I hear coming out of my mouth.

"Wait!"

She slowly turns around and gives me a curious look.

"I have a proposal, " I say before I can regret it.

She grins in response. "Thanks but I'm too young to get married."

"No, not that. I was wondering... I mean if you want to...." I've never felt more nervous in my life. My words keep stumbling into one another and I can barely keep the the inexplicable stutter out of my voice. "You can—you can work at the coffee shop with me. I can convince my boss to get you the job."

She smiles and pivots on her heel. " Yeah, right."

"Hey, I'm serious."

"Forget it, " she says without turning around.

"Why forget it? Aren't you struggling?"

For a moment it seems like I've caught her attention. She pauses in her steps and slowly turns around until she's completely facing me. There are no more hints of smiles or amusement. Just a blank expression that for some reason looks sadder than anything else. "I don't want your pity."

"Its not pity, " I protest. "We've been short of staff anyway and you need a job. It's a win-win for both of us."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out just as harshly. "Why are you doing this, Juan? The hospital and the bandages and everything... Why are you helping me?"

"I like helping people, " I simply reply.

"Some people don't like to be helped."

"Well, if you think that, you're an idiot!" I snap as a pinch of anger sneaks into my voice.

She raises an eyebrow.

"Look, " I continue. "I don't know if I've done something wrong or if you just don't like people in general. I was just trying to help. If you don't want it, the door's right there."

Okay, now I really fucked up. I'd never been so straight-forward to someone before but it was like her sharp jabs had forced the harsh words right out of my mouth. Sometimes, the frustration overwhelmed me to the point I couldn't tell right from wrong.

She's frozen in her spot, wide eyes staring at me in a mix of shock and wonder. But then, her eyes slowly drag along my body, giving me a once-over before setting on my face. Her lips crack into a lopsided grin that was anything but innocent. "I like you, Juan, " she says and heads for the door before pausing on the threshold.  "And I'll think about your offer."

The door closes shut behind her and just like that, she's gone.  

~ JOJO ~

There's no way I'm doing this, I say to myself as I take a hot shower. No fucking way, I repeat as I get dressed and tighten my shoelaces. I felt like a mere sheep heading to meet the butcher's axe. But the sheep was making this choice herself. She was willing. 

I was afraid the boy had put a spell on me. I'd never been so weak-hearted and obedient to someone's  requests. Here I was, going to that cursed coffee shop even after all the fights with Anna last night. She kept persuading me to stay inside, lock myself up in my room and not talk to anyone for the next week or so. She'd never been the social type, the bitch.

Most people said it was like a voice in your head urging you to do whatever it wanted, but that was not the case at all. If the concept of Ana was that unrealistic it wouldn't be so hard to label it as just another link into the shackles of mental disturbances but the thing was, there was that doubt that made you hesitate on whether these were actually your thoughts that made you behave this way or something actually real and tangible. The feeling of something not claiming its existence but still lingering like a shadow on your every step.Is it me or her?Who said that?

I shake my head violently to clear my thoughts as I find myself in front of the shop's entrance.The floor seems to wobble beneath my feet and I doubted whether it was just because of the fact that my stomach had crumpled in itself like a sheet of paper.

I clear my throat loudly to capture the attention of the man hunched on the counter.He slowly lifts his head as an automatic smile appears on his face. “Yes?"

I steady my posture. "I'm looking for someone named Jungkook. He works here."

His eyebrows almost touch his hairline but he's quick to recollect himself. "Oh, sure. He's in the back fixing some stuff. I'll go get him for you."

He disappears behind a door and comes back two seconds later with the reason of my sleepless nights by his side. 

"You're here!" Jungkook exclaims, a little too loud for my liking. He seemed slightly surprised, as if he hadn't thought I would actually come. Couldn't blame the guy. There were times when traces of bipolarism would make it hard for people to understand what I actually meant.

Jungkook's open-lipped smile is almost contagious. He tramples his way forward and stops just an inch further, towering over me.The all-black outfit was present even today but this time an apron adorns his slim waist.

"I am, " I simply add.

"Oh, I almost forgot. This is Kwan, " he says as he gestures toward the smiley man. "We've been working together since I can remember."

I flick my eyes to the latter and nod a salute at him. "You should've called this place 'Juan and Kwan'. Quite catchy, if you ask me."

The man named Kwan chuckles. "She's funny. Where did you find her, Jungkook?"

"Oh, I'm the one who found him, " I intervene. "Besides, we've met before. I'm the green tea girl."

His eyes slightly widen with a sense of realization as he nods along. Ironically enough, my stomach whines so loudly to the point where even Jungkook hears it. He points a finger at it. "You really need to shut that thing up."

I look down to my stomach and talk to it as if it were a real person. "Hey thing, shut up. Juan doesn't like the way you sound."

"Did you even eat anything on the way here? There are some cupcakes if you want, " Jungkook insists with the tone of a concerned mother.

"I'm not hungry, Juan. Must be uhh... my seven month-old baby."

Jungkook shakes his head in surrender and asks for me to follow him behind the same room he came from. My nervousness raises tenfold as a bunch of unpleasant thoughts immediately rush into my brain. If I didn't get this job, I could say goodbye to normalcy. I would fall down the hole dug by my own hands and never come back out. All the hard work of these past months out in the trash.

"Don't worry, " Jungkook reassures. "You'll do great."

~ JUNGKOOK ~

She was bursting with joy. It was like her face had been washed in the late afternoon sunlight, illuminating its every corner. She wasn't ridiculously beautiful or anything like that but there was something so captivating about watching that smile brighten up her features like a glorious sunrise, I could barely keep myself from staring.

However, one thing I learned about her was that she really knew how to celebrate. Her hands are struggling to hold all the groceries she'd gotten at the supermarket. Well...if you could call them groceries. All I could see were tons of candies and deserts and all sorts of sugary stuff able to furnish a dozen sweet-toothed five year-olds.

 But the thing that baffled me the most is that she'd invited me at her place to thank me for the new job. I thought after all the fights she'd put up to keep me far and away she wouldn't give in so easily. Guess I'd been wrong.

"I thought you said you weren't hungry. " I watch her chew on a chocolate-covered donut that gave me diabetes just by looking at it.

"If there's one thing you need to know about me, Juan, is that I change my mind way too often, " she mumbles in between mouthfuls.

"Yeah I can see that, " I add.

"Hey, shut up now, will you? We need to celebrate!"

"By eating trash?"

"They say you are what you eat, " she replies.

I angrily grab the grocery bags from her hands and let her lead the way to her apartment. "Don't call yourself that. "

The jokes she constantly jabbed could be hilarious to someone else but they just did not sit well with me. I only found them as extremely self-deprecating and dark. It was the go-to type of thing for the depressed and people were so used to normalizing them, it was hard to point it out from time to time.

Her mouth pauses chewing as she gives me a hard but harmless stare.  "Fuck, don't do that to me."

"Do what?" 

The deep sigh she lets out through her nose tickles my eyelashes. She stops in front of the door and leans her back on it. "You keep being nice even when I annoy you."

"You don't annoy me, " I say quietly.

"Yes I do. I annoy everyone." Another sigh. "You know, Juan, all my life I've been treated like a joke. Yeah, I joke around a lot so I'll get joked at. Understandable. But like, no one has treated me the way you do before. You listen to what I have to say and give me honest answers and most importantly, you are serious when you need to be."

"Isn't that how everyone is supposed to be?"

"No. If I told someone I'm feeling sad they'll laugh at my face 'cause they think I don't have the right to feel anything."

"Well, fuck them, " I snap.

Her jaw almost drops to the floor. "Woah! I've never heard you swear before. That was low-key hot. Do it again."

I scratch the back of my head in discomfort and fumble with the edge of my T-shirt. Out of all the things she could've said..."Um...shit?"

The disappointment washes over her face as she scoffs and shakes her head disapprovingly. "Fucking rookie".

It is quiet for a few moments, save for the slight creak of the yellow door opening wide enough to finally offer me a front seat view of her apartment. I'd been strangely curious about what it would look like, eager to get to know more about where she lived, where she slept, what things the was interested in and no matter the weird turn my thoughts had taken I couldn't help but crave for more.

She lets me pass the threshold and takes the grocery bags from me to put them on the kitchen counter. The place reeked of lemons, their acrid stench filling the air to the point where it made my nose itch. I spot a few loose skins and other remnants by the table.Except for that, everything looked pretty much normal. Plain and bare of excessive decorations but I could see that she'd made efforts into putting her own preferences out in the open, littering the walls and ceiling. She liked minimalism, I could see.

"Did you throw a lemonade party last night?" I ask with the tiniest bit of chuckle tumbling from my mouth.

Her eyes flick to the evidence and I sense something I'd never witnessed so boldly in them before. Panic. "Oh, t-that..." she nervously stutters but it's gone in a blink as she quickly gains her composure. "Just an experiment. I love science." I hum in agreement and eye the couch on my right. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. Make yourself at home. But I have to warn you there's nothing on the fridge so you're left with these, " she says, giving the sweet goodies a single heave.

"Oreos, please." I stretch my hand across and a huge grin pulls at the edges of her lips. 

We spend the next few minutes sitting in silence, munching cavities away like they were our last meal. It was surprising to say that it did not for a moment feel weird nor awkward. We barely knew each other and yet we seemed like two old pals seeking comfort into each other's presence.

"My place sucks, doesn't it?" she suddenly asks.

"Not really, " I reply. "I think it's pretty."

A confused frown appears on her face as she keeps munching on a chocolate bar. "How come?"

"Well, beauty is subjective, Jojo. What looks pretty in my eyes may not be the same for you."

"Deep words for a teenager, " she mumbles.

"Look who's talking."

"Yeah, yeah..." She waves her hand dismissively but I don't miss the tiny smirk hidden in her cheeks.

The grocery bags start to slowly empty. I was worried she was gonna make herself sick with all the sugar already flowing in her body. 

She suddenly gets up and stretches, reaching with the tips of her fingertips up to the ceiling. Her hoodie rides up and I almost gasp in surprise. There are several marks littering the thin stripe of exposed skin, some dark, some purple and some turning yellowish. They made such a stark contrast with the pale white complexion that didn't exactly match the tone of her face. She'd obviously never worn anything too revealing, the sun rays far from tanning the skin. Before I can gawk my eyes out, it's gone in an instant when the hoodie falls back in place. 

"This shit's addicting, " she says pointing at the leftovers on the table.

I could only wonder if she really had more problems than she let on. From what I'd gathered, she'd subtly admitted to being a victim of domestic abuse but that was a long time ago, wasn't it? Why were there still fresh scars on her body? As if to add on to my assumption I take notice of her bandaged hand.

"Where's that friend you mentioned?" I ask. "Was it Annie...Ann?"

Her eyes flick back to mine. "You mean Anna? She's always here for some reason. I consider more like family, to be honest. Never leaves my side. Just not today." 

There was something fishy about the way Jojo's eyes turned glassy and distant every time she mentioned her friend. It kept rubbing me the wrong way.

I ask her to use the restroom and she shows me the way in a few curt gestures. As soon as I get inside, I am met with my distorted reflection on the mirror. A huge web blossomed into the side. Someone had cracked it, that part was fairly obvious. 

What the hell was wrong this girl?

I wash my hands mindlessly and return to the living room. Jojo sits on the couch, man-spreading like a fourty-year old man on his second divorce. She winces once or twice and exhales through her nose. " I think I ate too much, " she whines.

"You think?"

"It's all your fault. You're the one who convinced me to eat, " she accuses.

"Well, I certainly didn't tell you to eat junk." I join her on the couch from a fair distance as she sulks away the nausea.

"What happened to your mirror?" I softly ask.

"I punched it, " she answers without looking.

"Why?"

"There was a fly on it and it kept buzzing while I was taking a shit."

I didn't believe that for a second but I nod my head nonetheless. From that moment on, she only adds to the dark jokes and I pretend to fall for them. All until the moment I require permission to leave with the excuse of having to work again tomorrow.

 I can't deny the sick, empty feeling at the pit of my stomach when I watch her follow me with her sad stare as I leave the apartment .

~ JUNGKOOK ~

The days go by smoothly. It took a while for Jojo to get the hand of it, but soon enough, the orders look like mere tools in her hands, bending to her will. Thank goodness, she had the conscience not to lash out at rude customers even though I could see how hard she strained the muscles of her forearms by her sides. She was the first to arrive and the last to leave the coffee shop. All that and she still kept to her strict schedule, running every day at the crack of dawn. Every single day. Even I didn't work out that much.

I had to admit that my interest for her kept increasing more and more with every new detail I noticed. I was intrigued to find out more about her and I strangely found myself being pulled to her presence like a magnet. We'd continued our shared runs and conversations on each other's apartments more often than I remembered but there was still no progress on our status. Well, I once called her my friend and she didn't object to it so that must be a start.

"Well, someone's got a new crush."

I rip my eyes off Jojo's figure and come face to face with Kwan's amused stare. "What?"

"You like her, don't you?" Kwan teases further.

I sigh deeply and put my apron on the counter, ready for my lunch break. "I don't know, honestly, " I admit. "I'm not sure what it is, exactly."

"Listen, I know a crush when I see one and yours definitely is . Why don't you ask her out?"

"It's complicated."

Before Kwan can torture me with his long string of questions, Jojo stomps her way toward us with closed fists. "I swear to God if that bitch asks for a menu one more time..."

"Hey, hey we talked about this, " Kwan interferes. "Deep breaths. In and out."

She does what she's told a couple of turns and then rests her hand on her hip. "Nope. I'm still angry. I have to punch something."

"No violence in our workplace, Jojo."

She pouts in distaste and then suddenly her eyes land on mine. Her hand reaches out and points at my chin. "You got a little something.."

I dip my vision down only to be met with her index and middle finger giving my head a hard flick. She erupts in teasing giggles, soon joined by Kwan's booming laughter.

"Gotcha! Bro, I feel better already, " she says and gives Kwan a manly fist bump. I shake my head in surrender, a coy smile tugging at the corners of my lips and head for the room on the back. I hear the swish of Jojo's apron on the counter as she  soon falls into my steps. We had a ten minute break everyday and Jojo was never one to miss it, always deciding to share that precious time with me. She kinda ruined it with the jokes sometimes but I didn't really mind.

She offers me a slice of cucumber trapped on the sharp edge of her knife and I politely decline. She always did that, sharing food left and right even though most of the times it wasn't even that much to begin with.

"Wanna hangout after work?" I suddenly ask. I hadn't planned this at the slightest. It was like the words jumped right out of my throat. Sure, we'd hung out before but only on days off and certainly not on evenings.

She hesitates for a moment before chewing on the cucumbers. "Sure, why not? It's Sunday tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, " I admit.

"Cool."

I try not to let the excitement show on my face as I finish the last bits of my lunch. The late afternoon takes longer than usual to arrive. By the end of the shift, I'd been itching to get the apron off. Jojo, on the other hand seems unbothered. For her it was probably just another day with the bane of her existence. She nudges her elbow into my side as we exit the doors together, throwing a glance at the bike by the side of the road. She would ride that thing here everyday even though the memories of the accident were still fresh. "I'll just leave it here tonight, " she says, as if reading my thoughts. "Don't wanna make your sorry ass struggle to keep up with me."

I give her a teasing light push and pull at a string on her hair. "Fuck off."

We go for a series of playful kicks and thrashes that turn milder and milder with every inch we come closer to my apartment. By the point we've reached the door, my poor hair is being twisted like a rope in her cruel hands. She really liked touching my hair. She kept saying she'd braid it or put it in a ponytail at least once before she died. Me on the other hand had scolded her for mentioning death in the first place.

"Ok, but you have to let me style it for you, " she insists, never dropping the issue.

"No, thank you. I like my hair the way it is, " I reply in feigned smugness.

"Asshole, " she mumbles under her breath.

"What?"

"I said Casserole. I'm craving some."

My eye creases soften on their own. "I can make it for you if you want."

"You know how?"

"No, but I can look it up online."

At that, a shy smile brushes  her features. "Nah, it's alright. I think about all sorts of food all the time. I'd probably change my mind after five minutes."

She plops down on the couch comfortably and groans when the bones of her back click to let her unwind. The way she'd grown more and more comfortable around me gave me this weird sense of satisfaction, as if I'd been seeking for that validation from the start. In fact, our whole situation was weird. I enjoyed her company and hopefully the feeling was mutual but there was still something missing. I didn't know exactly what but I certainly knew that deep down she was hiding a whole different personality.

My apartment had become so familiar to her, she doesn't hesitate to let me know without much further ado that she'd be using the restroom. But just before fully rising, she types something down on her phone with the utmost concentration. The only reason why it attracted my attention was the excessive amount of times she'd done that for today. And yesterday. And days before that. It would take one bite of her food and she'd immediately reach for her phone.

Did she use a calorie tracker?

I curse myself enough to damn my soul to hell for the rest of eternity but it still doesn't stop my hand from shakily grasping the phone lying on the couch. I draw the pattern I'd memorized from watching her unlock it all those times and just like that, the  Notes app lights back into life. My eyes widen with every single line I read.

Day 35 I fucked up today. I had three donuts for breakfast and pizza for dinner. The cravings are fucking horrible. Total : 1560 cals

I scroll down to some days back.

Day 34 I wouldn't say it's bad. I went for a run and had an apple afterwards. Take that Anna, you  whiny bitch! Total: 78 cals

There's a visible pattern in the notes; wins, losses,relapses. My eyes scan the screen speedily, fleeting through each letter and word.

Guess what? I fucked up again—

I hate myself—

I did not eat anything today! Nothing, I tell you! Haven't felt this empty since—

I so wanna die right now—

Please make it stop—

Day 71 No comment

Day 72 No comment

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No comment—

"That's my phone, you know."

I raise my head to level my blown-out pupils with her calm ones. Unperturbed. Smooth like waves in a gentle breeze. She doesn't look angry to witness my shameless snooping, just disappointed. She knows that I know. It all makes sense now. The scars, the small meals, the excessive workouts...I feel a pang in my chest for being such a fool all this time.

I muster whatever courage left within me and rasp out the words. "Who exactly is Anna?"

~ JOJO ~

"She's a bitch."

"An imaginary bitch, " Jungkook emphasizes.

"Doesn't make her less of a bitch, " I mumble.

He has been giving me a cold yet sympathizing stare for the last five minutes but I knew that deep inside he was bashing himself for not knowing.

"It's short for Anorexia, " I clarify.

"How long has this been going on?" Jungkook continues. He didn't seem like giving up on the detective role anytime soon. Little did I know that he would fully embrace the title.

"Three years."

His head drops in his hands. He gives his pretty face a hard rub before turning it back towards me, eyes now laced with something similar to compassion.

"Why aren't you looking at me like that?" I ask him.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm some sort of freak."

"You're not a freak, " he grits between his teeth.

"But that's what everyone would say if I told them. I know they'll look at me differently."

"I'm not everyone."

He was right. He wasn't everyone. That's why I kept dropping hints on him with every chance I could get. I wanted him to know but then again I didn't want him to know. It was hard to explain.

Jungkook keeps his piercing stare on me, hoping to get a reaction. Then he pats the spot next to him on the couch as a few strands of hair fall into his eyes. It made him look so adorable, I decided right there and then I would do whatever he said. Just asking would be enough.

"What's it like?" he asks as soon as I make myself comfortable.

"My disorder?"

He nods.

I think for a few moments before answering. How was I supposed to to explain it? It had been by my side for such a long time, I didn't know how to tell my disease and myself apart.

"Well, to begin with, I'm fat."

Come on. Say it. Come on.

His eyebrows scrunch in disbelief. "No, you're not."

There you go.

"You look pretty normal to me, " he continues.

"Normal is just another word for "you're fat but I don't wanna say it in your face, " I spit and it only makes him look more confused. "Oh, come on. I bet the first thing that came to your mind when you thought about anorexia was a skinny pale girl looking at a mirror. See? I knew it. In people's eyes anorexia and non-skinny people do not correlate."

Jungkook looks embarrassed to say the least. I know he's trying his best to find a gentle way around me but the deep crimson of his cheeks doesn't make it any easier for him. "I—"

"Look, Juan. I don't wanna overwhelm you with my bullshit. I'm sick in the head, okay? The things I do are not cool and I don't want you to be part of it."

"I thought we were friends..." he whispers in a low voice.

"We are but—"

"Just explain it to me, please. I'll help you get rid of it."

He really had no idea. His gullible self couldn't understand that this was not just a disorder. It was a lifestyle and the only way I knew how to survive. I release a sigh of defeat and try to muster the most joyful tone. "Fine. You wanna know what it's like? I'll tell you what it's like. Every day, I get up from that bed with the sole purpose of starving. I don't want to eat. It's that simple. Now you're probably thinking: ' why the fuck aren't you dead yet?' That's because I can't starve correctly, Juan. I can't do shit."

Jungkook keeps his unwavering stare directed towards my face and hands that passionately make weird gestures from time to time. I notice something sparking within me, a small flare of anger and pent up frustration finally getting some release. Saying the words out loud was unnerving. I'd never imagined them anywhere but on the interiors of my head.

"Numbers are important. I can't tell the difference even if I lost some weight. That's why I use the scale everyday."

"What do you usually eat?" Jungkook carefully asks.

"Anything that has low calories in it. But it doesn't last long and I'll immediately eat junk food three times the amount. Starve. Binge. Starve. Binge. It's a vicious cycle."

"Why don't you try a healthy diet?"

I let out a humorless laugh. "Wow, you're richer than I thought."

He blinks. "What? Why?"

"Healthy diets are expensive, dumbass. Ever wondered how rich people have those avocado diets and that type of shit? But that's just an excuse. The real reason is that I lack will."

"If you lacked will, you'd be dead by now."

"That's where I'm heading."

His head falls in his hands again and those pretty smooth lips mumble under his fingers. "You're not satisfied with your body?"

"Not satisfied is an understatement. I hate my body. It's hard to explain actually. I don't want to be sick to the point where I can't even stand but I don't want to be curvy either , you know what I mean? Its like I want a thin body but then I see a muscular one and I'm like ooh I want that one too and I don't know..."

Jungkook's eyes seem to sparkle on that. "So, you want a lean muscular body?

"Yes."

"That's not so hard to achieve."

I put up my best fake surprised-expression. "No shit, sherlock. Why didn't you just say so? You would've saved me from a lot of trouble."

"Fuck you, " he grumbles.

"I'm already fucked for life my man."

His deep sigh tickles my face. "You're impossible. How can you joke about this?"

"Then what am I supposed to do? Cry about it? Trust me, I've tried that a lot of times. It won't do shit. If I laugh about it, it won't be as shitty, " I add. "But jokes aside, it's not just about being thin. Its also about being in control, being aware of your own body. I feel so angry and frustrated  every time I lose my streak."

To my surprise, he smirks in such an inappropriate way, it paints his face in a whole new canvas . "Don't worry. There are some situations where control just isn't needed."

I almost choke on my spit. Jungkook, being audacious? Well that was new. "Feeling bold, Juan?" I tease.

"Maybe, " he admits but now it had turned into what seemed like a shy smile. I try to latch onto that glimpse of humor and normalcy in hopes of taming the wild turns and takes of our conversation. But just when I thought I'd taken hold of it, Jungkook jumps into a new question. "What else can you tell me?"

I highly doubted I would be able to spill the contents of my soul in such a short time but if he was so hellbent on knowing more, knowing he would get." I can tell you a lot of things but I can also guarantee they're not pleasant."

He doesn't even blink.

"Fine. You asked for it." I pause. " I've been like this for three years now and it has only gotten worse as time passed. I already know what you've seen online and what you think eating disorders are. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't believe the shit they give you. Do you know how many overweight people are anorexic? A whole bunch of them but if they tell anyone about it they'll get laughed at 'cause apparently anorexia exist only for skinny white girls. A lot of guys have it too. But they call it cutting back some pounds when they hit the gym. No way that's unhealthy, right? Totally justified. It's all just a big pile of shit. There's nothing cute or romantic about it. You know what's funny? I can go for days without taking a shit but I'll pee every two hours. I drink so much water to the point where it makes me sick. I never get warm. I take every single bite counting numbers in my head and wondering how I'll burn it off later, I spin in circles to make myself sick just so I won't be able to eat, I measure my waist three times a day and I feel like fainting every time I get up. I hurt myself 'cause I don't like what I see."

I feel that familiar ball of imaginary yarn settle to the base of my throat but I push it back down just as fast. Not now. Anytime but now.

Jungkook's eyes glint with sadness. He gulps once before lowering his vision and choosing to stare at the hands resting on his lap. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, " I reply. " It's not your fau—"

His hand shoots out to capture my own. A thousand tiny electric sparkles tingle up my arm. Maybe it's the lack of contact or just the knowledge that it's him but the way his warm palm fits into mine feels so right and I can't move it away for the life of me. His thumb brushes lightly across my knuckles. "I'm not pitying you, okay?" he says in a gentle voice. "I would never pity you. I just don't want to see you like this."

I lift my eyes to his own and stare at him like he was a glass statue, pouring some of his brightness on me. I didn't understand why he hadn't kicked me off yet. And to think that I was enjoying it...

Jungkook observes the slight tremor of my hand in his, which I'm desperately trying to hide and a subtle smile graces his lips. "You're touch starved, " he murmurs. Not in a malicious way. Not mocking me for it. Just stating things out in the open. It was the quality I liked the most about him.

"Physical contact is a luxury to me," I admit.

"It shouldn't be. You're human."

"I'm not even sure about that anymore."

The smile stretches wider as his nimble fingers intertwine with my trembling ones in a gentle, yet firm grip.

"Is this okay?" he questions, eyes set on the motion.

"No, but carry on."

It all felt like a guilty pleasure, like those sweet candies your mother keeps hiding from you and when you do find them, the taste is but absolute bliss. A forbidden fruit. I knew I shouldn't be leading him anywhere and spoil his peaceful life with my problems but I couldn't make myself pull back either. I was all of a sudden caught up between two fires that would scorch me and themselves in the end. Pushing people away or letting them in the confines of my chaos. I would lose either way.

I put on my best unperturbed mask to make it known I wasn't affected at the very least but just like that, his other hand slides up to my elbow and locks it in place. His deep look burns with something I can't quite decipher. "Can I kiss you?" he suddenly asks.

I freeze for a split second but try to shake it off with an intentional raise of my eyebrow. "Why?"

"I want to, " he breathes.

I was torn between slapping some sense into him and laughing my ass off but I do neither. My posture stays unmoving, waiting. "Do you really want to?" I ask again.

"Yeah, " he confesses and I catch his eyes glancing down to my lips.

I shrug. "Okay."

I've barely gotten the word out when he closes the small distance in a matter of seconds. A hand latches onto my jaw to angle it better and that's where I feel the soft, plushy texture of his lips come into contact with mine. They're so delicate and move so gently, I feel like I've ascended into time and space. I let his bangs tickle my cheekbones because it obscured his eyes from view and I didn't want to witness the reality of it.

Before I can dwell longer on them, he pulls back, forming the smallest of distances. His pupils are blown out, dark eyes staring with something more than just interest. I take notice of my fist bunching up the T-shirt he's wearing. Apparently, I hadn't been able to block out all my reactions.  I release the material immediately and rise to my feet. A quick glance at the window showed that it was already dark.

"Good night, " I chirp and grab my phone resting on the table, heading speedily for the door.

Jungkook panicks and stands up just as fast. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Home," I reply.

His eyebrows bunch up in confusion yet again. "You can't just go like that after I kissed you."

"Watch me."

In less than four strides I've crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me with a thump. People were right when they said you couldn't see yourself blush but you could feel it. My whole face felt like it was on fire, an uncomfortable warmth spreading equally up to the tips of my ears. Who the fuck even blushes anymore?

I smack my lips in annoyance as I make my way down the stairs in a newfound rush. I cant deny it. I liked the kiss. Maybe a little too much. In fact I wanna go back there and steal the breath out of his lips. But I can't. It was a one time thing. And it will remain that way. Or at least I hoped so.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

Anorexia nervosa, often referred to simply as anorexia, is an eating disorder characterized by low weight, food restriction, fear of gaining weight, and a strong desire to be thin. Many people with anorexia see themselves as overweight even though they are, in fact, underweight.

Sleep is far from reach as I keep scrolling down page after page of the same generic description. Countless of pics of young girls with ribs and bones sticking out of their pale skin had been more than enough to make my own skin crawl, the after-images blazed forever behind my eyelids. She was right— they all said the same thing but I'd always known that no matter what what was said, you couldn't really  understand something without experiencing it yourself first hand.

I put my laptop aside and lay down on the warm comfort of my bed. Even though I'd willed my eyes shut, sleep just wouldn't come. She kept busying my head with all kinds of thoughts— thoughts of her disorder, thoughts of what she was doing right now and the memory of her soft lips on mine. I keep replaying that exact moment like a loop, feeding off my imagination like a middle-schooler. She'd acted like she barely gave a shit but there was no mistakening the furious blush that had fallen across her nose and cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears. It looked surprisingly adorable on her, different from any type of reaction I'd gotten in exchange.

I roll over the other side of the bed and smash the back of my head on the pillow. I'm such an asshole. And she's no better either. How can you just leave after someone kisses you?

I leave my mind pondering to these thoughts as my eyelids slowly start to weigh down on me. But just when I'm about to pass out cold, a dark figure intrudes the corner of my eye, causing my body to turn upright.

Jojo's standing by the threshold, dressed up in what looked like loose see-through sleeping clothes. The material fell in graceful waves from the hems and pooled around her ankles. It felt weird not seeing her dressed up in her usual tomboy look but I was enjoying the view nonetheless. Her hair drapes over her shoulder and hides a part of her face, the rest of it, illuminated by the moonlight seeping from the drawn-back curtains. It looked like she'd just awoken, eyes mussed up with sleep but still focused on my form. She stares deeply at me, as if waiting for something.

All traces of exhaustion now wiped clean, I push myself up on my elbows and return the stare. How had she gotten here this late? Did she know my password?

She saunters over to the bed in such a seductively delicate manner but yet it was so subtle, I doubted whether she did it on purpose or not. Her left knee touches the duvet first, making the bed dip slightly under her weight. Then she leans her palm facing down and proceeds to come closer and closer on all fours like a predator targeting its prey. I was like a deer caught in the headlights in the most cliché sense of the word. I kept observing her movements with silent adoration and the more I tried to look away, the harder my eyes seemed to fixate on her approaching form. At some point she's sitting so close to me that I can feel her soft breath fluttering my eyelashes. She slowly tilts her head and gives me a look of mild curiosity, as if puzzled by my existence there altogether.

"Can I touch you?" she softly asks. Her dark orbs bore into mine, waiting for my answer. Such a sheer persuasion is held inside of them that I find myself gulping audibly before nodding without a moment's notice. She comes impossibly closer, almost attaching her body into mine and then raises a hand up to my hair, the small fingers playfully twirling the dark locks. I then notice her own hair falling in curtains in front of her face, slightly obscuring her eyes from view. It makes her look even more mysterious and alluring, I can barely resist the urge to tuck a string back behind her ear.

"Can I do more than just touch you?" she asks again and this time the movement of her hand slows into a halt. The edges of her lips pull slightly  in a teasing manner and seem to merge into a coy smile.

My heart starts beating like crazy. I can feel it accelerate into a manic pace as it pulses with an unfaltering heat underneath my fingertips. I muster whatever air left in my lungs and whisper the words in a breeze. "Whatever you'd like."

That's all the approval she needs. She tilts her head on the side and lets the tip of her nose brush my earlobe. The breath she lets go draws from me an involuntary shudder that washes over my body; from the top of my head and down to my toes.

I fist the sheets to the point where it hurts. I wanted to touch her too, to feel her and to breathe her in. But I don't. I decide to let her be the one in control, to let her know that just a word tumbling from her lips would be enough to give her all of me. All that I had.

She drags those sinful lips along the side of my neck painfully slow and then puts her legs on each side of my hips, straddling them. And then she kisses me. Even though barely a peck, it burns scolding hot and causes my lips to burst into a heap of tingles.

My hands find their way into her waist, digging through the material but she stops me with her own and gives my chest a light push. I try to relax and let my back lower till it finally makes contact with the sheets. She hovers above me, graceful strings of hair tickling my neck as she attacks my lips again with bruising strength.

That's when I feel it. My shirt being lifted. Her cold fingertips, in stark contrast with my ridiculously hot skin, leave goosebumps in their wake. I try to reach with my hands and help her get it off but she grabs them and puts them back down. "Don't. I'll do it for you."

She resumes her previous action and sweeps my shirt completely off but not before making sure those nimble fingers slide along my skin with an added pressure. I let her. I let her do whatever she wants with me. She can have me.

I pray silently with my eyes for her to kiss me again and surprisingly, she understands. But this time I can't help the small whine coming deep from the back of my throat as she dips her head down and lets her tongue swipe a sensitive stripe on my neck. I'm scared the sheets will rip into shreds from how hard I'm twisting them.

She doesn't stop. Only goes lower and lower with open-mouthed kisses, down my chest, through the ridges of my abs, all the way to my navel. She stops there and the hard muscle of her tongue moves in a way that makes me gasp out loud. I shut my eyes tight.

When I open them again, the pressure on my tummy slowly dissipates. I drag my eyes to my front but there's no one there. Just the open window swaying the curtains and the entirety of my room swallowed by semi-darkness.

She's not here. It was just a dream.

I sit up on my bed and drag a hand to my face, rubbing it hard to pull myself together. What the hell just happened? I hate myself even more for the fact that I wish it wasn't a dream. I let my head fall back with a thump into the pillows and notice the uncomfortable heat at the bottom of my stomach. "Holy shit, " I whisper.

~ JOJO ~

Sometimes even the most colorful butterflies in your stomach cannot stop the tears from falling. Me, like the miserable human being I was, had cried myself to sleep last night instead of hopping cheerfully around my room. Jungkook's shut eyes and the serene expression on his face when he'd put his lips on mine had only made me wallow into self-doubt even more than usual. Did he actually mean it or had it just been a reflex, something to pass the time? I felt as if I didn't deserve any of the things he offered me, regardless of his intentions. But fuck, did I want to have him. Fuck. I'd never met a more perfect person with all of those tiny imperfections that actually made him real and whole.

That perfect smile that puts all of his pearly white teeth on display shines bright even know as he notices me entering the shop but I don't fail to detect the eyes that shy away in embarrassment. How cute.

"Hey, " he tries to hold the grin from spreading across his face as he scratches his neck awkwardly.

"Hey yourself, " I reply with forced nonchalance. It doesn't work. I fall under the scrutiny of his eyes as he can tell something's off.

"Your eyes are red, " he states matter of factly.

"Last time I checked they were brown."

His face falls. "Don't give me that shit."

Wow. That kiss had definitely given him some confidence. As far as I remembered, swearing was something he found hard to do unless absolutely necessary. Was I getting to him already?

Preparing to start the work, I click my tongue and move into an arc around his back.  I let the silence fill the empty slots, too tired to come up with some lame excuse when suddenly, the presence of warm fingers greets the skin of my elbow. I look down to see Jungkook's hand on it, eyes brimmed with genuine worry, something I hadn't seen in a long time. "Is everything alright?" he questions and the words alone make the butterflies in my stomach almost turn into pigeons. "You left all of a sudden last night."

The angle on which he bends his neck to level his eyes with mine makes them stand out so adorably, so bright and full of life, I can barely hold a squeal from ripping out of my throat. He was just standing there in all his glory and looking at me like I was the thing he cared about the most. Maybe I was. Did it sound too far-fetched?

I slowly reach up and twirl one of his dark locks on my forefinger, letting it drag to the side of his cheek as I give it a small poke. I hear the breath that hitches on his throat and it only spurs me on even more. "Why? Did you miss me?"

He doesn't back down, eyes boring into mine with an intensity that deserved some recognition. They occasionally flicker down to my lips and I already know what passes through his mind at this moment.

Someone clears their throat.

I immediately put some distance, eyes dragging to the new intruder only to find Kwan staring at us both with a shit-eating grin. He was gonna use this to blackmail us, I was sure about that but I couldn't care less. Not when Jungkook's eyes follow me without failing as I backtrack a few steps.

"He had something in his hair, " I explain with a faint gesture. Kwan's grin grows impossibly larger but he doesn't say anything, deciding instead to grab one of the glasses and wipe it raw, a habit more than out of intention.

I ignore his teasing remarks for the rest of the day and watch Jungkook's prying eyes from the corner of my vision. He'd throw a glance my way with every chance he got and without even being subtle about it. When it's time for our lunch break, his stare becomes so bashful, I can't help but stare back with an offended glare.

"You're doing it again, " he says before I can part my lips.

"Doing what? " I ask.

"Putting a mask on your face. It's funny but it's bullshit."

More swearing. Was it really possible to change someone for the worst with a few words? The last thing I wanted was for him to follow into my steps.

"There's no need to act cool all the time. If you're not okay, you can just say so." His hands fumble with the edges of his lunch box, fingers scraping at it out of nervousness. "You can say it to me, " he adds more softly. " I'll listen."

"Hey, its not that big of a deal, " I wave him off.

"Not that big of a deal?" he mimicks. "You can die."

"So? What's it to you?"

Jungkook sighs deeply. "Jojo—"

"Are you gonna feed me the classic love yourself bullshit?" I interrupt him before he has the chance to say the words I've heard being trumpeted so many times. "Cause there's no need for that. I already love myself. I mean, sure I would jump off a cliff if I could but I love living. I love life to death."

I'm pretty sure that so called mask he mentioned was glowing with pride right now. Even though deep down I knew it felt wrong, I still—

"You do this on purpose, don't you?" I turn my eyes to him only to see a smug expression that looked so foreign and uncharacteristic on his face. "I know what you're doing. You act rude and sassy and uncaring to fend people off so they won't get attached to you because you think your presence alone harms them." He leans forward with his elbows on his knees and his face floats mere inches from mine. "Isn't that right?"

When I don't answer back, his hands cup my knees as he leans so impossibly close that I can count all the dark brown flecks in his eyes. "Hate to break it to you but you can try as much as you want. You're not getting rid of me so easily."

His husky voice brings a smile on my face and I still make no move to put his hands away. "Oh, I can get rid of you. I just don't want to."

~ JUNGKOOK ~

"What do you mean you don't want to? I thought you liked hanging around with me?"

"It's late, Juan."

Jojo grabs the handles of her bike and turns it around in a semi-circle but before she can hop on the seat, I give her hoodie a pull and take over. From the moment I start pedaling, she sighs in exasperation. "Dude, come on, give it back."

"I'm not taking no for an answer, " I quickly reply. "I'm making chicken breasts tonight. Low calorie. You have to come over."

Jojo slowly catches up and we move like that for a while; her walking and me on the bike. It felt strangely relieving to have a moment of peace after a long and exhausting workday. I close my eyes and let the sun rays bask on my face with their warm texture. From the silence that follows, I suppose she's left with no other choice but to give in.

"Watcha thinking about?" I hear her ask after a few moments.

I open my eyes and turn my head towards her. "You."

She snorts. "You've stepped up your game, my man. Glad to see some progress."

"I learned from the best."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure you were already popular with the ladies way before you met me."

The soles of my feet touch the concrete and I force the bike into a halt. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, " Jojo grins, "there's a girl behind us staring at your asscheeks–"

I choke on my spit.

"–and I mean like I can't exactly blame her because your ass is really looking pretty puffed up in that seat–"

"Anywaaaays, " I drag the word long enough to make her stop and proceed to flick my chin on the side. "Let me give you a ride."

Jojo's whole face dismorphs as her lips twist into a barely contained smile. It takes me a while to get the dirty reference. "Oh come on, " I yell out of frustration. "A ride. On a bike. Here on the street. Out in the ope–"

"Yeah, yeah. Just scoot over."

I do as I'm told and not a moment longer, Jojo tries to get comfortable on the back seat. However, I had a better idea. "Hey, why don't you pass to the front?"

Jojo peeks over my shoulder. "No. We'll fall if I do that."

"No, we won't, " I insist. "Just trust me. I'll keep you safe."

I don't know if those words struck a cord within her because she looks genuinely caught off guard with those big sparkly eyes staring at me in earnest. That's where I understood.

Words have power.

I could help her turn things around for the better. I could help her get back to normal. I could do all of these things and more if only she would crack the door of her soul open just an inch to let me in.

"Okay, " she finally answers in a tone much softer than usual. I scoot back and let her sit on the bike's supporting rod.

"Ugh, my ass is gonna be bruised like hell by the time we get there, " Jojo whines and squirms in discomfort.

Chuckling, I give the pedals a push and soon fall into a constant rhythm. Unfortunately for Jojo, it is hard to keep the balance so she is forced to hold onto my shirt. She barely touches it though. "Oh God."

"What?"

"Don't tell me this is one of those cliché supposedly romantic moments where the girl almost falls and they look into each other's eyes and shit like that."

I keep my eyes on the road. "I mean, it's not so dramatic to begin with. We're just chilling. And for the record, we did kiss so I don't see how just looking at each other can be such a big deal."

"Can't believe you pulled that card on me."

"You deserved it, " I reply in a smug tone.

After another moment of comfortable silence, Jojo's arms snake around my waist and the side of her head leans back on my chest. It feels like holding a baby, warming my body up with the presence of blood and life flowing underneath the skin.

For fear of scaring her away, I decide not to add any teasing remarks on why she changed her attitude in a matter of seconds, despite how tempting it was. If that loneliness she constantly felt was reduced even by a fraction, my job was done.

"Are you sleepy?" I carefully ask.

Her arms squeeze me even tighter. When she rubs her cheek affectionately on the front of my shirt, I fight the urge to erupt into giggles. "No, " she answers. "Just tired."

It would only take some time. Just a little bit more time and all her exhaustion would ripple away with no traces in her body or mind. This was my job from now on.

~ JOJO ~

It wasn't exactly his job to nurture me like a newborn baby but I couldn't deny the fact that I liked this new attention. I'd always tried not to feed my narcisstic side too much but it was a pleasant surprise to find out that someone other than Ana acknowledged my existence. These are the thoughts spinning round my head as I stare at the tiny bow of Jungkook's apron tied up at the small of his back. Or at least that's what I was supposed to be looking at because for the past fifteen minutes, my eyes had been trying not to drag down on the voluptuous planes of his ass that stuck painfully tight to the black jeans he was wearing. It's like the sucker was doing it on purpose, keeping his back to me the whole time.

"I really can't blame that girl for staring at you earlier, " I wonder out loud after the uncomfortable silence becomes unbearable. "With jeans that tight, you're asking for it, my man."

Upon hearing the words, Jungkook turns around with a spatula on one hand and a look of confusion on his face. "Isn't that what men usually say to women?"

"Exactly. But there are way less chances for a man to be sexually harassed by a woman, now isn't there? So don't come at me with that equality bullshit."

A small, understanding smile creeps up on the side of Jungkook's lips and in contrast to my words, it really seems genuine. "True. But that still doesn't make it okay." He turns back to flipping the chicken breasts on the pan.

I sigh. "Yeah, alright. Sorry for complimenting your ridiculously gorgeous butt—"

A snort.

"— but I won't hesitate to slap that shit if you piss me off, Juan. And I won't do it in a kinky way."

At that, Jungkook fully turns around, places the fresh meal onto the table and hurriedly  takes a seat. "You're into that sort of thing?"

"Nah, man. I like being normal."

"Normal? You?" Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, the emphasis on the word clearly intentional. I understood that something like that was to be expected from people but it didn't mean it didn't secretly hurt my feelings. Being always ousted as the weird one took a mental toll on you and if you ever tried to blend in, it would only make you stand out more.

I let out a noise of impatience. "Listen, here Juan. I might be sick as fuck but my life doesn't revolve around my disorder. I have favorite hobbies and colors and that kind of shit."

"Is it black?" Jungkook jumps in, suddenly curious.

"Navy blue, but that's not the point."

"I know it isn't." He sighs wistfully.  "Sorry, Jojo. The only reason I said that is because every five seconds you try to assert your dominance so I assumed your preferences on that particular side were a bit...freakish." His expression is halfway between apologetic and entertained and he seems torn between the two.

Curse my dumbass brain for ever acting on impulse.

I scratch the back of my head in discomfort and avert his eyes. "Okay. Okay, I get it. I jumped too fast to conclusions–" I lean my elbow on the table, "–but that's because I'm very athletic."

Jungkook deadpans.

After another uncomfortable silence settles in and after Jungkook realizes he's not getting another word from me, he absentmindedly taps the table with his fingertips. " By the way, same for me, " he mumbles.

"Huh? " I logically reply.

"I have the same preferences as you." He raises his head and looks at me dead in the eye. "Normal."

At this point, I had no idea why we'd decided to reveal our sexual preferences for absolutely no reason but it had come to that. Crazy, right? Me and emo-boy pouring our hearts out to each other...

"So, " Jungkook interrupts my train of thought as he starts chewing on the fresh chicken pieces. "You seem like a competitive person."

"I guess you could say that, " I hum in agreement.

"Well, I have another proposal."

"Like I said, it's too early for me to get married."

The expression he makes as he tries to keep the food from spilling  almost causes me to burst out laughing. Even after he's successfully managed to breathe in some air, the faint traces of a phantom smile are still visible.

"I meant a challenge. For you. A bet, to be more exact. Do you like bets?"

"I do, actually."

"Well then. We'll play a game of tic-tac-toe. The rules are simple. If you win, I'll do everything you want for the rest of the day. Now....if I win....." A devilish grin stretches on one side of his face. "You'll practically do whatever I ask you to. It's the same for both cases."

"What's the catch?"

Jungkook leans back in his chair and links his hands on the back of his head. " There's no catch. I like games, that's all."

The satisfied, confident expression he was wearing made it clear that this was not just a simple game. I was sure as hell he had something up his sleeve but that didn't turn me off nor made me back down. Why not let the guy have his own fair share of fun? However, that didn't mean I couldn't at least give things a little twist.

"Okay, then. Take your shirt off."

This time Jungkook really can't help but choke on his chicken breasts, sputtering pieces of food everywhere. One of them barely misses my face.

"What the fuck! Why?" he screeches, hands wildly attempting to clean the mess.

I slowly drift into a smile. "Relax, pretty boy. We're playing the game on your abs.

~ JOJO ~

"This is stupid."

"You're stupid. Now shut up."

Jungkook gives me one last incredulous look before pulling the shirt completely over his head. In all honesty, the sight was to drool for. That swirling tattoo I'd always caught a glimpse of, is now clearly displayed on one part of his chest and on his left side, reaching up to his neck and down to his hipbone. I try to keep my composure as best as I can but some of my facial expressions must have been on point because Jungkook seems to start feeling uneasy. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and scratches the back of his head. I almost feel bad for lightly snorting but then I think better of it.  After all, I was allowed to have some harmless fun, right? No biggie.

The ridges of Jungkook's magnificent abdominal muscles come into view as he slowly approaches. His posture is a bit stiff, however. The guy was trying his best to suck his stomach in, in hopes of flaunting his slim waist in the most perfect angle.

"Stop flexing, Juan." I say in a monotonous voice. "I already know you're ripped. "

Caught in the act, he shyly smiles and lowers his eyes. "Sorry."

The smile only grows further when I use a marker to draw the lines for the game on his stomach. He squirms and twitches with every flick of my wrist. Apparently, ticklish was another adjective to add onto the dictionary of my names for him.

After a rough sketch is drawn on his tummy, Jungkook gestures for me to make the first move. "Ladies first, " he says with a grin that almost looked pained. His eyes follow my hand that had been finishing the last touches.

I draw an X.

He draws an O.

We move back and forth, exchanging the marker every time, until I realize.

I'm fucked.

He had me cornered in both rows. Wherever I put my next mark, I would still lose. It was an old technique that everyone had used at some point but my dumb ass had fallen right into the trap. But was I really to blame with him looking at me like that?

Jungkook chuckles. "I win."

Fuck. I'm screwed.

"Looks like you're gonna be my servant for the rest of the day. " He throws a careless glance at the windows, pitch dark background already behind them. "Or should I say, night?"

I sit back down on the chair and man-spread in defeat. "Fine. You won. Congratulations. Now what do you want me to do?"

He doesn't even hesitate, his voice as clear as glass. "Kiss me."

I stare at him in disbelief but it didn't seem like there had been a slip of the tongue. He was dead serious with those hooded eyes and the fact that he hadn't even put his shirt back on was for some reason unnerving.

A scoff escapes from me. "Out of all the things you could've asked.... I thought you were gonna make me clean your kitchen or something."

"Oh ,we have plenty of time for that, " Jungkook replies with a newfound smugness.

I mull it over in my head for a second before slowly rising from the chair. He leans forward in anticipation and it's as if his every fiber feels ready to pounce in action.

I honestly found it hard to comprehend the concept behind all of this. Out of all the nice looking girls out there, he found a dirty looking rag called me? Me?!

I give my head a slight shake and reach up with the tips of my toes. I listen to Jungkook's breathing stagger for a moment, only to be released with disappointment when I touch my lips to the side of his cheek, furthest from his two plumps of pink rosy flesh. Jungkook's expression looks slightly annoyed as I pull back, observing the ruins left in my wake.

"That's not exactly what I was thinking, " he laughs to himself, half out of disappointment half out of disbelief.

"You never specified where to kiss you, " I explain.

There had been nothing forcing me to act the way I did. Absolutely no one but myself yet I still felt like something was missing. Like I wasn't enough for him or any other person. My mind kept lying to itself, in the hopes that if I could avoid being too touchy, he probably would forget about me altogether.

Jungkook, bless his soul, gets rid of the awkwardness in a moments's notice, his cheeks puffed up in what resembled a pout. "You played me good, huh?" he huffs and I hold the urge to laugh like a little girl. It felt weirdly cute to see him so worked up over a small rejection when he could make any girl fall in his arms with just a snap of his fingers.

I lower my voice in a mockingly deep baritone. "What are your next orders, my lord?"

Jungkook smiles.

* * *

After that, it's hell hours for me.

It's like he had been waiting for this chance all this time and now that the flood gates were open, he couldn't afford to waste any buckets of water. From cleaning to organizing to heaps and heaps of orders, Jungkook had been vastly generous. And the worst part was that I had to eat my next meal with him and not even dare think about counting calories. He would purposefully mess up the portions and make it impossible for me to calculate. As if I didn't already have a hard time doing that on the daily...

At one point I was even scolded for counting in my head because apparently, the genius had noticed my eyes moving upwards in circular motions as the food lay down in front of me.

In other words I was utterly fucked. The anxiety of not knowing what I was putting inside my body, of having no perception of numbers or weight scared the shit out of me and if it hadn't been for Jungkook's  appreciative glances or encouraging words, I would've said goodbye a long time ago. With him it felt a little less guilty, less of a sacrilege.

"Just don't think about it, " he'd said to me and even though it was one of the most conventional phrases you could think of, coming from him felt different. As if there was an actual purpose behind the words.

"What's next?" I ask in a dead-sounding voice after finishing the rest of the dishes. " A hand-job?"

Jungkook raises his eyebrows in sudden amusement, his expression shamelessly entertained. "As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll settle for a massage for now."

I drag my eyes to his still bare torso and motion for him to lay down on the couch. "Good. 'Cause I wouldn't give you a hand-job even if you threatened to throw me off the balcony."

Jungkook's laugh is muffled by the pillows as he turns his sculpted back to me. "I like how you have no shame."

"Shame is for the weak, " I add.

My fingers work tirelessly on the smooth planes of his skin, pushing and pressing on specific points which I knew would grant him relief. The way he tries to hide satisfied grunts makes me feel light-headed but I bite my tongue and will my creative mind to take it down a notch, focusing on the task at hand. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't had so much physical contact in a long time. Who knew? It was still an enjoyable sight, what with all the tattoos gracing his beautiful bronze skin in long shapes and lines.

"You're really good at this, " Jungkook grunts after a particularly hard press of my hands on the small of his back, even though to me it sounded more like a moan. He folds his arms at his front and leans his head sideways.

"I am?" I question as a smile already pulls at the corners of my lips.

"Yeah, " he agrees.

"Well, to return the compliment, I really like your tattoos."

Jungkook turns around and lays on his back, staring at me under his long eyelashes. He doesn't utter a single word, just keeps looking at me like he would a statue in a museum, his fringe falling between his eyes but leaving enough space for him to see. My hand is left to linger on the velvety skin of his stomach.

"Most people say they look scary, " he says in a low, raspy voice.

"They're not, " I add and trace a curved black line with the tips of my fingers in reassurance.

Jungkook gently grabs the said hand, still not losing eye contact. "Are you scared of me, Jojo?"

"No. I'm not."

A silence falls in the room, its echo almost deafening but this time there's no discomfort, no weird looks, just the consoling presence of each other that hangs in the air like a halo of light. Then–

"Juan, I think I'm starting to catch feelings for you."

He stops himself from smiling, but it's useless. The smug grin had already made it past his lips. "Yeah, me too."

"Hmmm, " I mutter. "How do we make it stop?"

Jungkook slowly rises in a sitting position, that damned expression still visible on his face. "I don't–  I don't think it's something you can stop."

" Aw shit man, " I scoff.

"Yeah, you just gotta go with the flow."

I'm positive there's a subtle irritated look on my face, which to Jungkook apparently looked hilarious. This had never happened before and I didn't know what exactly to expect. Was it normal? Was I going to be hurt again? What the fuck was I supposed to do?

"You're overthinking it. There's no need to put a name on your feelings." Jungkook cuts like a knife through my jumbled thoughts. "Besides, I thought we were talking about my tattoos."

"Right, " I confirm. " Is there a meaning behind them?"

"No. They're just for aesthetic purposes." The hooded eyes and dark expression is back on his face. "But–" he takes one of my hands and guides it on the side of his torso, "– this one does." He slides it a little further, on the underside of his forearm, tracing what I recognized as a tiger lily. "This one too. I'll tell you about it someday."

His stance is crouched. Even though he's a good feet taller than me, I somehow look towering over him. This position is suggestive enough in itself but it becomes even more so when Jungkook's knees cage around mine. Our eyes now levelling, I drag the line of my vision upwards, refusing to break the eye contact. And then, my eyes focus onto his lips and specifically the tiny little mole under them. It had caught my eye dozens of times before but for some strange reason, right now it looks like it's inviting me. By impulse, I gently meet his lips with mine and surprisingly he doesn't pull back, peppering me back with pouty kisses that are interrupted only by quick pauses for breath. I take the chance and discreetly lick that very mole with the flat of my tongue, feeling his lips' softness with a quick swiping motion.

It's like his gears are put into action. The sweet, gentle Jungkook is utterly forgotten from the moment he slackens his jaw to deepen the kiss, wrestling his own tongue in full force. But then his hands reach up and slip under my sweater to feel the skin underneath and that's all it takes for me to flinch and push him off.

He immediately stops himself from going further and lowers his hands down by his sides. His hooded eyes turn back to alertness as he tries to comprehend what just happened. I feel bad for a moment.

"J—Jojo?" His eyebrows raise in concern. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just—" A deep sigh leaves my lips as I try to keep myself from panicking.

He was about to touch my tummy. My fat, squishy tummy. Just the idea of him touching me there gives me chills.

"I remembered something I have to deal with."

I rip myself off from the couch and drag a hand through my hair in distress, about to turn on my heel and get the hell out of here.

"Wait!" Jungkook yells after me and he grabs my forearm. Not harshly, just strong enough not to let me go. "Did I upset you?"

"No. I–"

Calm down. Deep breaths. One, two. One, two.

"I just have to–" I rush with my words, but Jungkook's hands are made of steel, such a stark contrast with his pleading eyes.

"Stay. I'll take care of you. " He's begging me now. " Please."

I give in–

~ JUNGKOOK ~

–but at what cost? She's been acting distant ever since the panicky incident and I don't know what else to do to get her back the way she was. She barely touches me, barely comes close and I wonder if it's a shame to admit that I miss her kisses too. However, the jokester in her has never left. She'll crack dark jokes from time to time, acting like nothing ever happened and I'll pretend to play along for fear of not making her leave.

It pained me to see her like this, to see her crumbling apart day by day while my hands were frozen in place. A soldier stuck on quicksand. Someone had to tell her this was toxic, that she was poisoning herself and was fully conscious of it.

Weeks and weeks under her presence had trained me to notice all the changes, all the little shifts in her demeanor. Today was no exception. At least not with the incident that had made me do things I'd never imagine doing.

It had all started when a new employee had joined us on the coffee shop, courtesy of my boss, whose relationship with him was rather close. It was one of those cases where you had to make favors for the sake of family relations, et cetera, et cetera. So far, so good. But was one really to imagine that the guy had the audacity to act like he owned the place? I tried to ignore his antics up until the moment he fucked with the wrong girl. My girl.

Despite my disapproving glances, Jojo had been making comments on her weight, constantly seeking Kwan's opinions on the matter.

"But I'm fat!" she had exclaimed, exasperated. In Kwan's eyes, this was just another one of her lame jokes but I knew the sting behind the words.

Then, completely out of line, the new employee had chirped. "You're not fat, you're just thick."

I'd whipped my head in his direction and jumped off the table I'd been sitting, my hands suddenly itching but Jojo had been quick to secretly wave me off. "Well then, you're not stupid, you're just dumb, " she 'd snarked, earning a whole-hearted guffaw from Kwan. The joke had been let at that, or at least that's what Jojo thought. My fists hadn't stopped til the itching sensation was satisfied.

"You okay, Jo?" I'd asked at lunch break, the new nickname making her lips barely twitch. She was upset. I could tell.

"Yeah, why?" she'd replied, eyes trained on my face. For once, she'd given me that warm, old look that went beyond friendship. I'd tried to cherish it for a few seconds before adding, "That asshole was rude to you."

I'd unconsciously rubbed my knuckles and that hadn't skipped past Jojo's eyes. "Nah, he's just– wait a second! Did you do something to him?"

I'd adverted her eyes and cleared my throat awkwardly. "I kinda beat the shit out of him." The image of the guy's swollen face and broken nose flashes into my memory.

She'd gasped but there'd been a mix of amazement and incredulousness in the tone of her voice. "That's my job!"

I'd smiled. "No one messes with my Jo."

She'd smiled back but her eyes had still been sad.

Now I ring the bell on her door, impatiently carding my fingers through my hair as it remains shut. Where the fuck is she? She hasn't been answering my calls for a while and I'm worried sick.

I torture the bell button again and slam my palms on the door. "Jojo, are you there? Come on, it's me! Open up!"

What if something had happened to her? What if– I slam my shoulder repeatedly on it and the lock busts open with a loud clang. Rubbing the sore spot, I quickly scan the room and finally, my eyes find her crouched form on the floor.

There's a pile of junk around her, chocolate wrappers, plastic bags, food splayed apart chaotically and vomit on the floor as well as traces of it on the corners of her mouth. Her eyes are fixed in space, staring at nothing. Dried tears have left moist streaks on her cheeks. She looks lifeless until the moment she takes notice of me and does a double take.

"Jungkook? What– what are you doing here?"

I fall down on my knees next to her, worry written all over my face, but she immediately closes in on herself, her body language radiating fear and protectiveness. "No! Go away, please!"

I don't listen, scooting further till my hands are on her arms, trying to find a way in but she only keeps resisting. "No! Please, don't look at me! Not like this!" Her body shakes with convulsions and quiet sobs rip through her throat.

This was the first time I'd seen her cry.

I grab a towel from the kitchen and dip it in the streaming water. Jojo tries to keep me at bay but I set my mouth on a straight line and force it to her lips. Cleaning her eyes, her face as if I wanted to exfoliate her from any traces of sadness. "Please, " she's begging me now. "Please, go."

I keep my hands on a steady pace, gently rubbing the towel where needed. "Shhh, it's okay. It's just some spilled food. You're okay."

She quiets down at the words and it only goades me further. "Shhhh. You're my baby. My baby, " I lift her up and clean the rest of her, whispering other sweet nothings in her ear until at last the storm passes.

~ JOJO ~

There were two options left when someone made comments on my weight. I either starved myself for two full days or binged on everything I could see like a fucking cow because hey, I'm still gonna be fat, right?

Unfortunately for me , I'd picked the easier way out and emptied the contents of my kitchen in the blink of an eye. It was one of the things I hated the most; stuffing myself till I couldn't breathe. However, what I hated even more was people seeing me in my own misery. Even if that person was none other than the dreamy-eyed boy who had cared for me more than anyone ever had.

I stay silent as Jungkook cleans me thoroughly, making sure to also get rid of the mess on the ground and give me enough privacy to slip out of my nasty clothes and brush my teeth. I just keep staring at him and wonder to myself if I had done any good deeds in this life to deserve him. It pissed me off.

"Do you need another pillow?" Jungkook asks under his dark curly fringe, his back crouched as he stands on the side of my bed.

"No, I'm good, " I rasp, my voice strained from bawling for a good couple of hours. I avert his eyes once more. The guilt and the anger keeps bubbling up on the surface.

Jungkook abandons his chair and sits on the bed, his outer thigh barely touching my forearm. The springs creak and whine under his weight. He takes my hand in his, rubbing comforting circles with the tip of his thumb. "You okay, baby?"

I lash out in a second, grabbing the collar of his black T-shirt and pulling it inches from my face. "Call me baby one more time and I'll rip your throat out."

To my surprise, he's not even fazed. A dark chuckle falls under his lips as he grins widely for me to see. Then, as if it couldn't get any more intense than this, he lets himself fall backwards on the bed, taking me along with him. My legs escape the cover of the sheets and straddle his waist, trying not to fall over and crush him. In that particular order. What a typical movie-like moment. I'm wearing pajama shorts and the pale skin of my thighs is completely exposed. As if on cue, Jungkook's eyes flick towards them, drinking in the view. Had he ever seen this much of my body?

"Do it, " he says in a low voice.

I slide one of my hands upward and gently wrap it around his throat. "You really want me to choke you, Juan?"

The bastard doesn't even say anything. He raises the hands laying by his sides and traces the outline of my thighs higher and higher till they settle on each side of my hips. Goosebumps chill my skin like flowers after rain. I'm torn between punching him and kissing him senseless.

"Who knows, I might actually like it, " he says. He hasn't even tried to wriggle out of my caging body, going as far as even baring his throat at me.

I smirk. "Are you always this submissive?"

Uh oh. Wrong move.

In a matter of seconds, I'm pushed backwards, the soft texture of the sheets smoothing the land on my back. Just like that, the positions are completely switched. Jungkook's grin never leaves his face as he's on top of me, his curly locks swinging like a crown on his head. He takes both of my curled fists and pins them on each side of my head.

"I was actually letting you in charge but now that I think about it ; I also deserve to have some fun right?" he states with a smug expression.

For a moment, I'm left speechless. My limbs too, have nothing to say. At least not with the way they're frozen in place, too caught on the spot to dare move.

Jungkook takes the chance and nuzzles his nose on the gap between my neck and jawline. On another situation I would have felt ticklish but not right now. A heavy weight on the pit of my stomach is proof enough for that. He starts leaving small pecks on the skin of my throat, making a beeline for the collarbones.

I honestly don't know what to do with myself. We've been playing around for a long time now but things have never gotten so serious. Not at this point. Only recently had I pushed him off and now here I was, the one turned into full submission.

"Do you plan on ruining yourself every time someone upsets you?" he mumbles, smooth lips barely grazing against my skin.

The image of that new guy flashes behind my eyes and my face sours, all those butterflies in my stomach crushed to dust, just like that. "Can we talk about something else?"

Jungkook pauses his administrations and pulls back just an inch, his eyes staring at mine in full concentration. "No."

I huff in frustration. "You're on top of me."

"So?" he raises one eyebrow.

"So, get the hell off!"

My wrists are suddenly pinned harder against the sheets, Jungkook's hands forcing them further down until they form little dips.

"No, " he repeats, almost mechanically.

I'm about to protest again when his tongue swipes at the vulnerable skin of my throat and that's all it takes to throw all caution to the wind. My back arches off the bed without my permission and I think I must've let out a sound because Jungkook is laughing that quiet laugh of his that makes his shoulders shake.

His lips are on mine, silencing whatever literate thought that tries to make it out. My hips are now straddled by his own knees and oh- my wrists are free because he lets them go gently and puts his hands on my cheeks, kissing me even more deeply, threading them through my hair and its suddenly too much, too much for me to handle.

I feel like I'm floating ten thousand feet off the ground and buried under layers and layers of earth at the same time. My breath shudders violently when his lips drag across the side of my face and nudge the sweet spot below my ear.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whisper but it comes out so broken, so desperate. I'm practically begging at this point and I don't even know why.

Jungkook's hands settle on my clothed waist. His fingertips twitch in hesitation as he bunches the fabric and just like that–

"I'm sorry, "

–and lets go.

I feel relieved and disappointed.

His body peels off my own with reluctance that rips me apart in a million different ways and I feel my skin grow cold from his absence. He leans back on the heels of his hands, staring me down with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, " he repeats and rises from the bed, disappearing into the living room.

* * *

I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling as if it held the secrets of the universe. My body has not even moved an inch, too shocked, too frozen. My legs feel like lead, two slabs of heavy stone that pin me into place.

If it weren't for Jungkook's presence snapping me out of my empty reverie, I would've probably stood there like a dead body for days. He comes back (from the bathroom, apparently) his wet hair still trickling droplets of water on his shirt, eyebrows shining, and stands on the middle of the room.

"It's midnight, " he says, as if in a trance.

My eyes flick to the window. Pitch black. Indeed.

"Can I stay here tonight?" he continues, and I can swear the tips of his ears go spicy red. My heart melts into a hot buttery mass. He's blushing like crazy. I can see it! A guy, blushing in front of me. I suddenly can't contain my smile, all things forgotten in a blur.

"Yeah. I would like that, " I breathe.

He locks eyes with me and breaks the contact almost immediately, looking anywhere but in my direction.  "I can take the couch–"

"No. Sleep here, " I say and my eyes close of their own accord. "With me,  " I slowly add.

"Are you sur–"

My eyes fly open. "We just made out five seconds ago. Why is that such a problem now?" I lift my neck just an inch, to glare at him but there's no real malice in it.

His lips crack into a smile and I'm glad for the tension that dissipates like cigarette smoke. "I sleep without a shirt on, " he confesses.

"Okay."

He slips it off his torso in a swift motion but it's too dark me for me to make out any details expect for his dark silhouette and the wide planes of his shoulders.

"You can take off anything you want. I won't touch you, " I say and roll over on my side of the bed.

"I wouldn't mind it, " I hear him mumble but he complies, the sound of his belt unbuckling echoing against the room.

The bed dips under his weight as he occupies its other side and I feel more than hear the fall and rise of his chest, the labored breathing coming to a steady rhythm.

Two strong hands clasp around my waist and I'm pulled backwards into his chest. I don't push him off. I let him hold me to himself, caged by his body, by the feeling of him; his bare chest, his bare legs, his long hair tickling the back of my neck.

Everything is going to be okay.

I'm okay.

"Jojo?"

"Hm?"

"Do you care about me?"

I smile. " More than I'd like to admit."

He kisses the nape of my neck and pulls me harder against himself. It's not long before sweet, calm sleep sneaks its way into into our bodies.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

It's not the sun the one that wakes me up, despite it having been up for a while, not even the sound of the cars honking in the distance. It's the gentle caress of skin on skin, making goosebumps rise and my eyelids flutter.

I slowly crack one eye open and the smile that blooms on my face is automatic. Jojo's cuddled up on her side right next to me, her head laying between my chest and shoulder, arms splayed out to hug my torso like a teddy bear. But what really does it for me is her left leg thrown across my side. She keeps moving in her sleep and it's doing things to me. I can't breathe.

I suddenly realize that I'm only wearing my boxers. Nothing else.

Oh God.

I lift a shaky hand and try to detach her leg but my fingers linger for too long and she suddenly stirs. Her lips nudge my chest and unconsciously give the latter a tender kiss. Her eyes slowly open. For a moment it looks like she doesn't know where she is but then the realization dawns on her.

"Good morning."

Shit.

Her raspy voice only makes it harder for me to keep myself collected.

"Morning, " I manage.

She sits up and drags a hand through her hair, frustrated. "Why is your nice body the first thing I see? I'm jealous, " she huffs.

I open and close my mouth like a fish, caught on the spot. I'd never thought of my body as particularly nice. "It does its job so yeah, I guess, " I admit aloud.

At that her eyes drag down to a very unholy spot in between my legs. She smirks. " Oh, it does its job, alright. I think you have some problems with morning wood, my boy."

I grab the sheets on the side and swing them over my legs, embarrassment setting my face aflame.

She bursts out laughing. "Relax. It's not like I've never seen a guy with no pants before. Though, I'm kinda disappointed. I was expecting for you to have Lighting Mcqueen patterns on your underwear. " She shakes her head mockingly. "They're so plain."

I uncover my legs once again and this time I don't care. Let her see whatever she wants.

She stops laughing. Gives another glance to the crime scene. Gulps. "Yeah, like I said. Plain."

This whole exchange is so entertaining, I feel my insides flutter with joy. Last night's episode is forgotten in a ditch with no problem. We're back to the old times.

I get up and pace around the room, in search of a glass of water. My throat is parched.

"You know what? Go take a cold shower. All that–" she gestures toward my middle with a wave of her hand, "– is distracting me."

I stop pacing. "You know what? I'll put some pants on if you put some food on your stomach. That's a fair deal."

The color completely drains from her face, replaced by a dark expression that seeps the life out of it. Regret weighs me down.

"I'm never eating again, " she says, while her eyes bore holes into the floor. " Not until I reach my goal weight."

I  drag a hand across my face and rub it. Hard. My sanity is on the brink of falling apart. "Then what are you gonna do?" I ask, frustration finally creeping on my voice. "When you get to your goal weight."

She shrugs. "I'm just gonna keep being unhappy, I guess."

It's the way she puts the words out there so easily that draws the line for me. So carelessly, like I mean nothing to her. Like she means nothing to herself.

"This is ridiculous. You know you're harming yourself and you still keep doing it. You know you're not gonna change anything in the end and you still keep doing it. I don't get it."

"Oh yeah?" she spits, her own voice full of poisonous venom. "Why do you keep living if you know you're gonna die one day? Huh, Juan? Why do you do it?"

"This is killing you!"

"I don't care!"

I flinch. It takes me a while to gather myself before I muster the strength to spell out the next few words. "I don't even know why I care about you when you don't even care about yourself."

Her lips curl into a half smile but it doesn't exactly reach her eyes.

"You're right, " she says. "I don't."

Silence.

"Maybe you should go now."

I look up into her face but she's not looking at me, too focused on a spot on the wall. She's telling me to leave. To get the hell out of here. I'm suddenly realizing the absurdity of all this —me shirtless and half nude, boxers stuck to my body like gauze, having a fight with the girl I love with all my heart. I realize the enormity of it. Of how much I love her, of how much I'm hurt by seeing her hurt and I choose to leave.

I pick up my pants from where they lay carelessly on the floor and put them on in excruciating slow movements. I grab the belt and the T-shirt and make my way out of the apartment. Her eyes never leave that spot.

I shut the door behind me and lean my head on its cool ugly surface.

What an ugly mustard -yellow door.

" Jojo, don't do this, " I say, loud enough for her to hear. "Come on, please."

No answer.

The anger falls off me in waves I can't control, swallowing me whole until my eyes see black. I kick the door so hard, my leg grows limp. Another punch and I think I've cracked the wood but I don't care. I don't give a shit. I scream and slam my fists and palms like a madman throwing a tantrum.

"Dammit! Why do you keep doing this?! Stop it, damn you! You're hurting yourself for fuck's sake!"

"You're hurting me, " I add in nothing more than a whisper, my voice already hoarse.

The door never opens.

~ JOJO ~

The door opens easily with just a push of my fingertips. I try to look uninterested but my restless eyeballs betray me in an instant, scanning the coffee shop in all four directions within seconds. I'd spent the whole night spacing out while sitting at the foot of my bed on the floor. I'd never felt so much regret, so much of it that it had felt like I was drowning–

"He's not here." A voice startles me out of my thoughts and I turn around to find Kwan looking at me with something that looks similar to pity.

I blink. "What?"

"Jungkook, " he explains. " He's gone."

My heart falls into the bottom of my feet and I suddenly can't keep the panic from tainting my voice. I grip Kwan's shoulders. "Where?"

"Woah, calm down! I think he's gone to his parents or something. Boss already gave him permission."

My grip loosens. "Oh."

Kwan blanches but soon a look of genuine concern flashes behind his eyes. "What's the matter? Did you two get into a fight?"

"No, " I deny.

I can faintly make out Kwan's rambling but it sounds so, so far away because soon my ears are thundering.

he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone–

"Jojo."

I'm shook awake, courtesy of my man-handler. He looks truly worried but I just can't seem to care. All I know is that I need to get out, distract myself, do something–

The indecisive old bitch lady steps foot into the shop and I curse her existence and mine altogether. This is so not the time to be arguing over extra menus.

She takes her usual seat with an excessive amount of unnecessary grace and looks at me pointedly, waiting to be tended to.

I smile. "Welcome, Mrs. Park."

* * *

Everything feels empty, blurred around  the edges.

Meaningless.

I finally realize how important purpose is and how everything we do is driven by it.

Lately I've been walking in circles, wandering like a fly trapped inside a jar, not knowing where I am or what I'm doing.

I'm just there.

I never eat anymore. I never drink. I savor my body like an untouched temple and hope against hope that I'll get better.

It's okay if I'm not. I can't make the difference anymore, anyway. I've spiraled into the bottomless pit of oblivion and the process is slow. It makes me feel numb.

I stare at the rumpled apron laying on the floor along with the rest of the garbage and Ms. Park comes into mind. She hadn't really appreciated my spilling hot tea right onto her chest. The dumb bitch had gotten me fired but it doesn't really feel like a great loss. I'd only worked there because of him, anyway. Him and only him. I never cared about anyone else. But he's not here. He'll never be here anymore.

I fish my phone out of my pocket and make use of the sudden memory to type down his number. I have it memorized by now. The line beeps.

"Hey."

My heartbeat spikes in excitement. "Hey yourself," I reply hastily but my voice cords haven't been used for days, so it sounds more like a rasp. I clear my throat.

"How's it going?" he asks. Casually. Like he would a friend. I missed hearing his voice.

"Good. You?"

"Same."

I bite my lower lip anxiously. I don't like his answers. I don't like how short and clipped they are. Clipped. Nipped. Chipped. Ripped. Zipped–

"So, the guys have been wondering when you'll be back, " I lie.

I hear him release a subtle sigh. "Oh. I don't really know, honestly. I've been hanging out with my parents and they plan on keeping me here for a while longer."

I nod my head slowly then remind myself he can't see me. "Right. Right, you must've missed them."

White noise.

Hmmm.

What else rhymes with noise?

Choice.

Boys

Toys

Turqoise–

"Well, have fun."

"Thanks......um, are you oka–"

I end the call.

he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone–

i told you he doesn't give a shit

"I never said I did, " I reply without looking.

you hoped, though

"Shut up."

laughter

you do realize you're pathetic, right?

I turn my head to the mirror. "Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch! Shut it!"

I spit and throw whatever I can get my hands on it but there's a smile there that I just can't see.

what rhymes with smile?

aisle

bile

rile

guile

worthwhile–

I scream and yell. I rip the sheets of the bed, swipe off the contents of my desk, punch and punch the mirror till my hands are raw and bleeding a waterfall. I kick and thrash with every ounce of strength left in me but there's no use.

She's still smiling at me.

* * *

I'm sitting down on the floor, surrounded by a pool of my own insanity. I can't tell how many days have passed and my cheeks feel surprisingly moist. Have I been crying?

There's no one else around here.

It doesn't matter. I like being alone.

It feels nice to just be with your own thoughts, not having to fear being overheard when you scream ideas and screenplays in your room. You can just be yourself and enjoy doing the things you like the most. But still, sometimes it gets really lonely and not just in the literal sense. I'll always check the dark corners to see if someone's there, I'll always feel like someone's whispering, saying bad things about me, that coat hanged on the rack will always look like a person and then I'll even start getting scared of my own shadow, my head will always shake uncontrollably when I'm crying because there won't be anyone to hold it for me, anyone to assure me that things are gonna be okay.

I don't like being alone. It's not nice.

I glance at the broken mirror, bloody cracks and lines making up the whole of it. There's only one spot in the corner that remains clean and untouched. A smile attached to it.

I realize now. Why she wouldn't go away. The reason why I could never win this war was because the enemy I was fighting against was none other than myself. She was no stranger. She was me. No matter how much we tried, me and my own  resemblance would still be standing at the end of the day. If i was alive, she was alive. It was like a symbiotic relationship, a Yin to the Yang. We kept each other afloat and neither could exist without the other.

he's happy.

"I know, "

without you

"I know, " I repeat.

is that enough proof for you?

"It is."

then do it

"yes."

I rise from the floor and blindly look for my phone in the midst of all the trash. It's nowhere to be found. I then turn around and grab hold of the old telephone hanging on the wall. It stands out, an ancient relic hard to be found these days. I roll the numbers by memory. The line crackles for a couple of seconds before a familiar voice breathes into it. My chest constricts as I let out a pathetic whimper. "J– Jungkook... I'm sorry."

I don't give him time to answer, slamming the phone down with a loud ring.

it's over it's over it's over it's over i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

Big, fat tears trickle down my cheeks and chin and I do nothing to stop them. I whimper and whine as I head for the bathroom, reaching up with my toes to get the pills I'd hidden all these weeks. They're still here.

Waiting for me.

~ JUNGKOOK ~

I'm running as hard as my legs can take me but it's not really me doing it. It's my impulses being triggered with full force, struggling for survival. I'm completely detached from my body, my mind going through only one simple rule : I have to make it on time.

I don't even notice the heavy torrents of rain blurring my vision, making my feet trudge with difficulty. I don't even notice the people I push harshly out of my way or the red stoplights blinking past me. My eyes are focused inwardly like a camera, set on breaking through the sea of umbrellas.

please please please please

I repeat the word like a mantra in my head, praying against whatever odds that she will be okay when I get there, that she won't do what I think she intends to do.

please please please just not that anything but that please make her be alright

If only I could've hurried earlier, she wouldn't have had the chance to say those things. To say my name.

It was the first time she'd said my name. My actual name. Those few seconds hearing the syllables tumbling from her lips had been pure bliss to my ears, only to be ripped apart with the realization that she was pleading.

She doesn't answer the phone. I curse myself to hell and back. I should've told her I was coming today. I should've told her I was only two blocks away from her apartment and that all this time far from her had been nothing but torture. There hadn't been a moment when I didn't feel her absence or when I didn't wonder what she was doing. I should've told her I regretted every single word I'd sa-

Something slams against my arm. I fall onto the rough asphalt but I'm on my feet in seconds. The man I'd run into stares at me in anger but I can't  deal with his shit right now, so I push him blindly, my feet already finding their footing. "Out of my fucking way!" I yell at him without looking.

I run and run and run until I can't feel my calves and my jacket is soaked through.

Drip

Drip

Drip

please don't die

drip

Her apartment building zooms into view. I punch buttons and take the stairs by four.

please

stay alive

please

Mustard yellow door.

I don't wait to check if it's open, kicking the lock open immediately.

Things happen in a blur, straight out of a dream. I kneel to the ground, forcing her mouth open. Her tear-stained face spits the pills reluctantly and then she tries to push me off as hard as she can. I knew she'd do this. I just knew it. I had seen the pills standing on the drawer for days, weeks. I knew how she gave those bruises to her body, how she tortured herself by her own will.

"NO! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"  I hold her hands down and bend them behind her back but she keeps screaming and it's like all hell has broken loose. "FUCK OUT OF HERE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

I squeeze her hands tighter and I can suddenly hear myself crying, fully sobbing my heart out and then she's crying too and we're both sitting on the floor like two poor beggars with our limbs awkwardly splayed out.

"That's my decision, Jungkook.  You can't take that away from me, " her muffled whimpers are heard as I lean her head on the crook of my neck.

I release her hands, which soon find their way around my neck, hugging my body till we fit perfectly together.

"Jojo."

I pull back just a few inches, capture her face with my palms and kiss her like there's no tomorrow.

~ JOJO ~

Do you know that feeling of finally getting home after a long trip, of how your body relaxes upon finding its lost familiarity? That's exactly what courses through my body right now, except that it's multiplied tenfold, to the point of numbness. I'd missed sensing his body beside mine. I'd missed his dark locks tickling my neck, his soft lips, but more than everything, I'd missed having him here. With me.

It's hard to believe the number of things that have happened today. It feels like I'm watching the scene unfold in front of me like a spectator and wonder if it's just a figment of my imagination. And the way he is kissing me..... It feels brand new. Desperate in more ways than one. He morphs our lips together as if they are made of clay and his hands start feeling around my body, begging for some purchase.

I don't realize the fact that I have started crying. Silent tears tumble down my cheeks, wetting his own face with their saltiness. I can't control them. I can't stop them. And Jungkook understands that. He pulls roughly at my bottom lip and suddenly lets go, creating a gap between our bodies. I can't help but feel that I must look like a little child in his eyes right now; grubby, disheveled, teary-eyed...

And then he's looking at me dead in the eye, beyond my appearance, beyond my outer core, cutting through weeds and vines growing inside my soul. "I know none of the things I say will ever convince you. So, I won't be using any words."

He slips my left sleeve from my shoulder, exposing the skin underneath. His head lowers down to it and gives it a feather-light kiss.

I stare at him in confusion but he chooses to keep silent. His eyes never leave my face, even when he starts repeating the action with my other sleeve, rolling my whole shirt up and off my body. He discards each piece with surprising gentleness and that's what makes my tears fall even more violently. He's so kind.

So good to me.

And he's taking off my pants.

I instinctively tense and Jungkook makes an obvious pause, letting me make my choice. The rigidity dwindles away and a flash of relief passes behind his eyes. I close my eyes and then he moves on with his graceful touches. I'm lain down into the bed, my hair fanned out behind me like a halo, and he slowly crawls on top, observing his work of art with a look of genuine satisfaction.  His clothes are gone before I can blink and he slowly dives in for the sensitive part of my neck, breathing it in.

"Beautiful," he mumbles against my throat. My body convulses with whimpers. He nuzzles his way up until his lips are meshed against mine.  "Touch me, " he whispers.

My breath hitches but I raise my hands that had so far lain on my sides and put them on each side of his face. "Jungkook."

He smiles and my heart bursts into a million fireflies. "I like it when you say my name."

"Jungkook,"  I repeat.

He drags those sinful lips down through valleys and crevices, leaving soft kisses in their wake, tracing every inch of my skin, tracing every bruise, every wound, every trace of self-harm. I am nothing more than a hot pool of lava. I do not own a body anymore. Or rather, I feel each sensation being magnified into infinity and I can no longer tell where my body starts nor where it ends. I feel too much. I feel everything. And I am not ashamed of this mundane mass of flesh and bones and blood.

I kiss back.

That's all it takes for him to finally let himself go freely. No obstacles. No barriers. I am free of the voices in my head, free of my fears and judgment.  It's like we want to devour each other, drain every single drop until it is the only thing our tongues can taste. I don't really care about anything else right now. I wanna forget about it all and just focus on the soft texture of his lips ghosting the skin on my neck and then going stronger and wilder and swallowing it up till I can feel the delicious sting of pain. We fight. We love. We pour our hearts out like a warm waterfall. And as our bodies tangle restlessly with each other, sticky with sweat, I go through an indescribable ecstasy. Something I've never experienced before.

Acceptance.

_____________________

EPILOGUE

I'd never imagine the storm would go on all night but it somehow did. As I lay in my bed, feet tangled up with someone else's, I hear the distant rumble of faraway clouds first thing in the morning. If it weren't for my daily habit of waking up early, I wouldn't have even bothered cracking my eyes open. The sun remains hidden in some corner as the dark gray sky salutes me instead.

I like it. This mood. It's cozy and warm and safe .

I turn my head on the side and almost melt. He's sleeping like a baby. Eyelids relaxed, lips slightly open, an angelic expression on his face. Pretty.

"That's bold, coming from you, " his lips spell.

I lightly gasp as I realize I've said the word out loud. "I thought you were asleep." As if by instinct, my hand slides up into his face, gently caressing it.

Jungkook grabs my whole arm and pulls me towards him, giving the edge of my jaw a kiss. "I was kinda faking it."

I kick his butt with the sole of my foot. "You prick! Stop playing!"

The whole bed shakes from his laughter as he massages his poor backside. "Did you sleep well?" he asks.

I smile. "Mhmm."

Jungkook mirrors my expression, but it somehow looks more devilish on him. "I'm sure you did."

"Shut up, Jungkook."

He smiles again, genuinely this time and turns, facing the ceiling with his eyes closed. "I really like it when you say my name."

"Jungkook," I whisper. A pause. "Jeon Jungkook."

His eyes open. "Yes?"

"You know, the night before I met you, I was about to kill myself."

His body goes rigid, but I continue. " I don't know why I didn't do it. Then, the next day I met you and it was like it just slipped my mind. The thought was no longer there.  So I came at that coffee shop every day, hoping I could see you. You weren't some kind of prince charming or anything. It's not like I looked at you and knew we were meant for each other or that kind of bullshit. I just liked looking at you. One glimpse was enough. It made me feel better somehow. It felt.... nice. But the moment we stopped looking at each other it all came flooding back. That longing to die. I turned back to my starting point."

Jungkook's arms envelop me and I feel my bones shatter. "I'm sorry," I whisper, barely a breath.

He caresses my bare shoulder. "There's nothing to be sorry about. It's okay now. I'm here. It's over."

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. "Don't leave."

"I won't."

We stay like that for a while, holding each other in our arms and relishing the sweet silence of early morning. Until-

"Hey Jungkook, you know how you're hot and cute at the same time?"

"Don't do it, Jojo. I'm telling you, don't-"

"Hute."

My obnoxious laughter annoys the hell out of him, but he eventually joins me.  I smile to myself.

The old back me is me but more different than ever. I want to go through a deep cleansing. I want to throw away all the trash that has been accumulating in my house and my very soul.

A new person.

A new life.

A new me.

I can't promise I' ll make it in the end but I can promise I'll try.

"You know, " Jungkook says, "you turned out to be much more different than I thought you'd be."

I turn his face to him. "Did I meet your expectations?"

He smiles. "No. You exceeded them."

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 18 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

~|Emily Fox|~

Saturday is here sooner than I expected. The boys and I are at the back of the Music Store where Open Mic Night ensues, rehearsing our entire setlist. Ash scolded at me when I told her we had six songs to perform but let us do our thing anyway since not a lot of artists have registered for tonight’s show. “Such a pity we wasted all that fire on soundcheck,” Jeremy comments when we’ve finished playing Now or Never. The boys are all dripping with sweat, and my hair sticks to my head, making me look like an egg. “Yeah, Ems, you were on fire just now!” Owen says, holding his hand up for a high five, which I give him. “I think we’re going to do great tonight.” “I think so too!” A voice I recognize as Uncle Mitch’s echoes through the room. All four our head’s snap into his direction. He has a proud smile on his face as he glances around the room, completely mesmerized by everything. “How much of soundcheck did you hear?” I ask, hoping he didn’t hear Bright yet. It has to be a surprise. The old man hops onto the stage and wraps me up in a hug, which he immediately regrets. “You stink, girl,” he tells me, pulling back, “But I didn’t see anything, I just know you’re going to be great!” He looks up at the ceiling, inspecting the lighting situation. “This is a great place to play, Muffin,” he whistles in admiration. “You want to play another song, don’t you?” I ask him, knowing exactly where he’s going. “What?!” he screeches, but doesn’t bother further with playing coy, “Yes, can we? The other villain song Bobby wrote?” I roll my eyes at him, then nod to the boys. “Play something similar to what we did last time, more bass,” I tell them as they spring back into action. Owen counts us in, and we start playing while Uncle Mitch grabs an extra mic. “You know you wanna take a chance and be a little bit bad Ain't nothing quite like living on the edge so get ready to go I'm chasing down a thrill, and lookin' fit to kill So listen to the words a wise man said He said, "Covington, I got an offer that you can't refuse"” While I take care of backing vocals, the boys let go on their instruments whilst dancing around together. Mitch and I dance around each other. “You got nothing to lose, boys Lose, lose, lose You got nothing to lose, boys Lose, lose, lose You got nothing to lose” He grins up at me before turning to the boys and saying, “Welcome to my stage, boys” I walk over to Charlie whilst Uncle Mitch turns to our bassist. Charlie and I share a mic to add the little ‘ooh’s as a bit extra pizzazz. “You know you want a little taste Life's short, not a minute to waste I'll take you higher than you've ever been So come over and tell me how you'd like to begin” Uncle Mitch and I then switch places, so I can rock out with Jeremy and Mitch sings to my boyfriend.

“You got nothing to lose, boys Lose, lose, lose You got nothing to lose, boys Lose, lose, lose You got nothing to lose” Mitch points to Owen, and the other two stop playing for a moment, leaving Owen to shine. “Owen, show me what you've got” Jeremy then comes up with a really good bass riff. “Jeremy, swing it, baby” He then points to Charlie, who shreds a few amazing chords on his guitar. “Now Charlie, yeah” He then turns back to me. “You and me How do you like my new band?” To my absolute surprise, Uncle Mitch starts scatting, way better than Charlie did when we sang This Band is Back together. Then he goes back into the chorus, but says the words instead of singing us, leaving us with the little ‘ooh’s for extra effect. “You got nothing to lose So come over here, baby I got what you need Let yourself go crazy All bets on me, it's electrifying From your hat to your shoes I feel it in the air We got nothing to lose, nothing to lose, yeah” Uncle Mitch hits that last high note flawlessly, leaving the band in absolute awe. “I think we’re ready for tonight, you guys,” Charlie says with that award-winning smile of his plastered on his face while he places his guitar on its stand. “Definitely,” I agree as a rush of giddiness rushes through me. “I can’t wait for Emily and the Foxes’ debut performance!” Uncle Mitch claps his hands excitedly. “What time do you guys get on?” The boys all gather in the middle of the stage where my uncle and I already are. “Open Mic Night starts at 7, but we go on at 8,” I inform him. He nods in response and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll be here, just need to go and do something first.” He waves at the boys before getting off stage again, leaving me and the boys. Charlie walks up to me then and wraps his arms around me. He smells of sweat and hard work and sticks to me like a sticker in a sticker book. “I’m not the only one that stinks,” I comment with a chuckle. Charlie pulls his arms away, but I just pull him closer. “We’ll stink together.” I kiss him on his cheek. “How about we all go take a shower and get ready, then meet here again at 7?” Owen suggests, hopping off the stage. Everyone agrees with him, following behind. “Emmy, can I shower at your place?” Charlie asks me on our way out. “Uhm, yeah, sure! What’s wrong with your place?” The look I get from him is one of regret and shame mixed together. “You seriously haven’t been back to your parents’?” I make sure not to sound angry, even though I am. My voice eludes disappointment, though. “I’ll go tonight, I promise.” I shake my head at him. “You know what?” I start and comb a strand of hair of his from his forehead, “How about we’ll go shower at my place and after the show tonight, we’ll go to yours together, okay?” I can’t stop the words coming out of my mouth. Did I just suggest I meet his parents? “Are you sure you want that, baby?” It’s now his turn to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Uhm… Yeah…” I think about it for a moment. It can’t be that bad. And besides, if that’s what it takes to get Charlie back at his parents’ house without him being yelled at too much, that’s what I’ll do. “Yeah, I’m sure!” He offers me a smile before planting a kiss to my lips. “Let’s do it, then!” He grabs my hand and leads me out of the Music Store, and together, we head to my house. He lets me shower first, and while I get ready, he takes a shower. I’m sat in front of my makeup mirror, applying some show makeup, when Charlie enters my bedroom again with solely a towel wrapped around his waist. My mascara wand stops mid-air when I spot him in the reflection of my mirror. His abs are defined and dripping with the water. I’m not entirely sure if he does it on purpose or not, but he changes right behind me where I can see him through my mirror. “You look very pretty, baby,” he tells me when he catches me looking at him through the mirror as he throws a muscle tank on. I cough fumblingly and bring my concentration back to my mascara. “I like the glitter eyeshadow a lot. It makes you sparkle like the star you are.” He comes up behind me and presses a kiss to my now dry hair. “I like your shirt,” I tell him, “Is that a new one?” “No, it’s Jeremy’s, actually. But he said he didn’t wear it anymore, so,” he shrugs. “You ready?” I screw the lid of the mascara back on while nodding and getting up. We meet the boys back at the Music Store, all of them giddy to perform. The closer we get to 8pm, the more nervous I become. Especially when I see who’s on the side of the stage, getting ready to go on before us. Brianna Holly and her girl band. “Hey!” Madison greets me when the boys and I are at the back of the venue. “You ready?” “I was until I found out Dirty Candy is going to perform,” I nod towards the backstage area. “I even forgot she had a band!” Madison’s eyes are wide in shock. “I bet she just asked her daddy to call in some favors.” I chuckle nervously. Madison is probably right, but it somehow feels like an attack on our band. As the bubblegum pop music starts to play, I glance up at the boys. They’re all looking at Brianna and her band with smiles on their faces until Charlie meets my eyes and turns the smile into a scowl. “Whenever I walk in the room All the focus on me The way I talk the way I move They all want on my team” “They’re not that great, you know?” he comments with a nervous smile. “I mean, they got great moves?” Owen chimes in without taking his eyes off Dirty Candy and trying to imitate their moves. It causes him to bump into Charlie and he bumps into me. “Sorry,” he whispers, his hands steadily on my shoulders. “Not tryin' to brag, brag But I'm flawless I'm taking over your playlist Ain't perfect but I can't miss, yeah The party don't start till I walk in I'm stealing all the attention Don't get me started on mentions, yeah” I catch Jake’s eye from the other side of the room. He looks like a bored roadie until he sees me, and then he looks like a sad roadie. “Someone’s not having fun at his girlfriend’s gig,” I say to Charlie, nodding towards my ex. Charlie’s eyebrows furrow. “I hope he’s gone by the time we’re playing.” I notice him ball up his fists, so I grab his hand to relax him a little. “Come on, babe, he’s your ex! You don’t want him watching you, do you?” “Maybe I do, Charlie, because then he’ll see I’ve moved on and I’m happy.” Charlie grunts and turns back towards the performance, but I catch him glancing at Jake every now and again. “Some might say I sound conceited They don't get the shine that I get Some get jealous They can't help it They wish they were me”

“Can he like stop looking this way?” Charlie grumbles. When Charlie’s angry, he looks like a grumpy puppy and does not look intimidating at all. But that might just be because I love him and I – oh… “I keep the party going all night, all night I set the trends that you all like, all like I make an entrance when I don't try, don't try Cuz all I see is all eyes on me” “You okay over there?” I ask Owen, who’s still mimicking the girls’ choreography. “I can’t help it… It’s my feet!” he replies, to which I just hum a ‘mmh-mmh’ the way Madi always does. “They’re good though!” “When I grow up I wanna be me be me I'm my own goals just talking honestly Must have won the lottery Ain't no one as hot as me Stealing looks its robbery Everywhere I go all eyes on me” I’m wishing this show is nearly over because I can feel Charlie tensing up beside me with the second. It does take my attention away from how nervous I am, though. “Char, relax,” I whisper and grab his hand, intertwining our fingers. This doesn’t only help Charlie calm down; it also helps making Jake jealous. Not that that’s why I’m doing it. “I only lead I never follow follow I never open cuz it's my show, my show Don't know if people think I'm shallow, shallow But all I see is all eyes on me”

“That’s it!” Charlie grumbles when the song’s over, and to my absolute surprise, grabs me by the face and kisses me full on the lips. I’m startled at first, but then melt into his touch and into his lips. This is the most passionate kiss I have ever shared with anyone, and I wish it wasn’t an attempt by my current boyfriend to make my ex-boyfriend jealous. It even takes me a while to get over the kiss once Charlie has pulled away. That cliché of seeing fireworks when you kiss someone you love isn’t a myth. It’s actually true. “Jesus, Charlie,” I hear Jeremy chuckle, “I think you broke Emily.” I look back at Jake, who’s now suddenly gone. I wonder if he actually saw what just happened. “Oh, look at that,” Brianna’s voice sends shivers down my spine and has me back on planet earth in no time. “Amateur hour is about to start.” Her posse stands behind her, trying to look intimidating. “Hey, Brianna, thanks for opening for us,” I tell her before pushing past her, hoping my band would follow. Which they do not. “Hey, himbos!” The three look at me, completely confused. “This is the part where you follow me to the stage.” They seemingly shake awake all of a sudden and rush after me like a huddle of puppies. The four of us get ready backstage while Ash announces us. “For the next half hour, you’ll be treated by one of the most talented bands of Los Feliz. Formerly known as Sunset Curve, I now present to you; Emily and The Foxes!” Applause and cheers erupt from the crowd, and I even hear someone whistling, though I’m sure that either Mitch or Madi. The boys get their instruments while I settle behind the keyboard. “Hi, everyone. We’re Emily and The Foxes. I wanted to dedicate this first song to my Uncle Mitchell,” I glance over at him on the front row, “I don’t want to get all emotional, so just listen to the song, okay? It says everything I haven’t been able to say.” The crowd laughs lightly, including my Uncle Mitch. I shake the nerves out of my hands and let my hands hover over the keys. “You got this,” Charlie’s voice sounds, and that’s enough for me to start playing the first notes. “Sometimes I think I'm falling down I wanna cry, I'm callin' out For one more try To feel alive And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home Fight through the dark And find the spark” I glance over at the boys, who give me encouraging smiles, ready to rock in a second. “Life is a risk but I will take it Close my eyes and jump Together I think that we can make it Come on let's run and” The boys now join in, sending the crowd into a frenzy. I get out from behind the keyboard and join the boys in the middle of the stage. “Rise through the night you and I We will fight to shine together Bright forever And rise through the night you and I We will fight to shine together Bright forever” While Charlie takes the next verse, I walk up to the front of the stage where the crowd has gathered, away from their chairs. I grab my uncle’s hand and mouth the words along to him. “In times that I doubted myself I felt like I needed some help Stuck in my head With nothing left” I now turn back to the stage, joining Jeremy and Owen to rock out with them. “I feel something around me now So unclear lifting me out I found the ground I'm marching on” Jeremy rushes over to Charlie to sing the pre-chorus into the same mic, the same way they do during Now or Never. I turn my back to Owen, encouraging the crowd into cheering for the two singing boys. “Life is a risk but we will take it Close my eyes and jump Together I think that we can make it Come on let's run and” Charlie and I sing the next chorus together while Jeremy skips back to his mic, rocking out with his bass. “Rise through the night you and I We will fight to shine together Bright forever And rise through the night you and I We will fight to shine together Bright forever” I now walk over to Charlie and offer him to sing into my mic, luring him towards the middle of the stage, without ever breaking eye contact. “In times that I doubted myself I felt like I needed some help Stuck in my head With nothing left” I then turn my back towards him, but stay close, and while he rocks out on his guitar, I sing the next part of the bridge. “And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home Fight through the dark, and find the spark” I hit the high note, just like I did that day in my bedroom when Charlie and I finished the song. All while the boys handle the chorus together. “And rise through the night you and I We will fight to shine together” “Shine together,” I echo “Bright forever” “Bright forever” I glance over at Uncle Mitch again which gives me the boost I need to sing the last chorus. “And rise through the night you and I We will fight to shine together Shine together Bright forever Bright forever” I hold my mic up in victory as the crowd cheers and applauds. The boys and I take a bow, soaking in the applause and cheers. This is something I could get used to. I just need to get through Music Academy and then I’ll be all-knowing about music to write even more and even better songs. In the meanwhile, I’ll just enjoy this for a while.

“That was awesome, you guys!” Madison screams excitedly when we get off stage after our set. The buzz of the crowd filing out surrounds us. “Thanks for that song, Muffin. It was perfect!” Mitch compliments, and I can tell he’s cried a bit. “The entire set was amazing. You guys did a great job!” This compliment is for the entire band. “Shall we go eat something together to celebrate?” I look up at a nervous Charlie. He knows what’s going to happen now. “I guess we could eat something,” my reply is exactly what Charlie needs. He shoots me a thankful smile, noticeably calming down a little. Our group leaves the Music Store after having said goodbye to Ash, and we make our way to the nearest Chinese restaurant. The conversation soon picks up again where it left off, talking about the show. “That high note in bright, Emily!” Jeremy says with an impressed tone. “I had the chills during Perfect Harmony!” Madison chimes in. Charlie and I exchange glances. That’s our song. Our little perfect magic thing. All ours. “And Wake Up too!” “Still thought it was missing a song though,” Uncle Mitch adds somberly. “No song is as great as The Other Side of Hollywood or Nothing Left to Lose, Uncle Mitch,” I reassure him with a smile. This group of people right here. That’s all I ever need in life. Nothing else. It’s the perfect group to fill up the hole in my heart Uncle Bobby left.

“You’re going to be okay, Char,” I tell him when we’re in front of his house and he’s taking a long time to ring the doorbell. I don’t push him, though. “Hey, look at me,” I order sweetly, cupping his face with my hands. “I’m here, okay? You got this.” I repeat the words I needed to hear at the start of the show, the words that always help me. And now, they help Charlie too. He reaches up and presses the doorbell. It takes a minute, but an older looking man opens up. His hair is graying, his face framed by thick-rimmed glasses. “Charlie,” he breathes out in relief. “Hi, dad…” Charlie stares at his feet. “Can—Can we come in?” His dad glances at me, a smile appearing on his face as he steps aside to let us inside. Charlie guides me into the living room, and for as far as I can see, every wall is filled with family photos. “Who is it?” a woman’s voice yells from the kitchen, and no second later, she appears in front of us with the most relieved look on her face I ever did see. “Charlie, baby!” She cries and reaches out to him to take him in for a hug. My heart warms at the sight of it. I can just imagine what it must be like to have a mother so concerned about their child. “I’m sorry, mom,” I hear Charlie whisper with a crack of his voice. I glance up at his father, tears pooling in my eyes and his, and we share a smile. A simple smile that acknowledges how the both of us feel. Charlie pulls away from his mother after a few moments and reaches out for my hand. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry,” Charlie’s mom sniffles as a shy smile shines through. “I’m Jean.” Charlie pulls me towards them gently as I reach out to shake Jean’s hand. “Emily,” I introduce myself with a smile. “Thank you for bringing our son back, Emily,” his father’s voice sounds from behind me, “I’m Patrick, by the way.” “Nice to meet you, Patrick,” I glance over at Charlie, “I’m pretty sure he would’ve found his way back to you guys anyway.” This makes all three Gillespies smile, and evidently, me too. “Come, child,” Jean grabs my hands, “Sit, sit!” she leads me towards the couch where she sits me down, Charlie taking a spot on my left and Jean on my right. Patrick opts for the armchair. “How did you meet our Charlie?” Jean queries, still holding onto my hands. “I work at the Music Store and Charlie just walked in one day and never stopped returning,” I leave some of the stuff out I thought on that first day I met him. “I just thought ‘Damn, my customer-service must be really good’.” Jean and Patrick laugh at this, and even Charlie can’t hide a smile. “Actually, your customer-service towards me wasn’t that great, Emmy. It was your voice that enchanted me that first day when you sang Wake Up,” says Charlie teasingly. “You’re a musician?” Patrick asks, perching up in his armchair. “I guess you could call it that. My uncle taught me to play guitar and piano, and we used to sing together at the top of our lungs. I’m now working to save up for the Music Academy, get a degree in music technology, so I actually know what I’m doing and go from there.” “She’s amazing, mom!” Charlie chimes in, “She’s even joined our band.” “Why don’t you get into this Music Academy, Charlie?” Jean asks him instead, the tension growing. “Get a degree so your future doesn’t depend on this band of yours.” “The Music Academy has just been a dream of mine and my Uncle Robert. Your son doesn’t need a degree in music. He’s born to do what he’s doing now,” I say, hoping it’ll thaw Jean’s heart a little, but I doubt it’s working. “Where I work, I meet a ton of musicians, we even have this monthly Open Mic Night where I had the privilege to hear your son play. Trust me, Jean, your son is a born Rockstar. People feel him when he plays. He gives them the serotonin they might not get in their daily life. That boy has magic in his fingers and his throat, it would be a shame if someone snuffed it out.” I glance at Charlie who offers me a tender smile. “I just don’t think music is a stable career. What if the band breaks up because they had a blowout? I love Jeremy and Owen to death, but you never know what happens.” I take a deep breath. This is where I lost my cool with my parents. I can’t do the same here because that’ll ruin everything for Charlie. I’m here to mend their relationship, not ruin it. “Is any career a stable career, really?” I let out an airy laugh. “There are so many musicians with stable careers, Jean, and I really, really think your son has what it takes to make it big out there with Jeremy and Owen. I’ve had the honor to spend time with all three of them and they’re like brothers. Always supportive of each other, always there to help. They’re the best of friends and nothing could ever break their bond, especially not the bond they have through music…” I trail off a little before taking a deep breath, “My parents kicked me out because I wanted to go to a college they didn’t approve of. That along with the passing of my uncle, I lost my connection with music a little but the guys, they brought that connection back into my life. Music is so important to all of us, especially to Charlie. Please, don’t take that away from him.” I notice a single tear escaping Jean’s eye, which is when I realize I’d started crying too. “I’m sorry you had to get through that, Emily,” Patrick chimes in, then turns to his wife, “What do you say, Jeanie? I think we should give Charlie the space to explore this Rockstar life of his.” I turn back to Jean, finding her nodding slowly. “Yeah, I think so too.” When I look at Charlie, he has the most surprised and tender look on his face as he and his mom get up and hug it out. “I really am proud of you, son.” I hear her whisper. Charlie looks at me from over his mother’s shoulder and offers me a thankful smile. At least I mended their relationship instead of ruining it like I did with my parents.

I didn’t even realize how late it was until Jean announced to us she was going to get to bed. Two am. We’ve been talking until two in the morning. After having mended the broken pieces between Charlie and his mom, we’d got entangled in a conversation about the band and life in general. These people are the nicest ever and I wish I could spend more time with them. “If you want, you can stay over tonight,” Jean tells me as she gets up. “Oh, uhm…” I glance over at Charlie, who’s just nodding his head. “Yeah, sure. Thank you.” She places a hand on my shoulder, looking me straight in the eye with the most thankful smile. “No, thank you,” she says and leaves the living room. “You’re a good egg, Emily. Welcome to the family,” Patrick tells me before heading upstairs with his wife. My heart is full. I almost feel as loved as the day of Uncle Robert’s anniversary of his passing when all the boys and Madi came over. I can’t believe my life. “If you want, you can stay in the guest room. You know, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with me,” Charlie says shyly, fidgeting with the bracelet around my wrist. “No, it’s fine,” his face lights up, “You’re the best cuddler anyway.” I lean in and press my lips to his before he grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs. In his bedroom, he hands me a shirt of his to sleep in, and then leaves to change in the bathroom, so I have some privacy in here. Once dressed – or half dressed in his shirt, I text Uncle Mitch to tell him I won’t be sleeping at home and begin looking around Charlie’s room. His walls are filled with band posters and the regular family picture scattered around. “Are you dressed?” I hear his voice from behind me, and when I turn around, I find him covering his eyes near the bedroom door. I chuckle, shaking my head amusedly, before walking up to him and taking his hands away from his face. “Oh, you are,” he breathes out and shuts the door. For a few seconds, we just stare at each other, smiling like complete fools. He then leads me towards his bed where we lie down, facing each other. “Thank you for what you said downstairs,” he whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, and leaving his hand on my neck. My hand reaches up to rest on his, my thumb rubbing circles on his skin. “It really means a lot.” “Just because I lost my parents because they didn’t support my dream, doesn’t mean your parents can’t either,” I tell him and press a kiss to his nose. “And you really are a gifted musician. You made me fall in love with writing songs with someone else again.” “And you made me fall in love again,” he adds with a careful smile tugging at his lips. “That too,” I respond, which only makes his smile grow before he presses his lips to mine. Ever since meeting Charlie, my life has changed so much. After what felt like the longest and worst year of my life, I finally feel alive again. I feel loved again. Like my body’s filled up with this fire that just ignites more and more energy to live again. Charlie and our music were that spark that ignited it all.

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[irwinkitten]

men of mayhem | a.i

notes: so the majority of this is written already. but i probably won’t post the next part too soon. however, this is a sons of anarchy!au and i’ve been so excited about. you do NOT need to have watched the show to know what’s going on, but if you have seen the show, you may spot some familiar names and places. to give you a rough timeline, the oc (Michelle) and Ashton are born in 1978 and this part has various stages. She attends university in 1996 and the ending is taking place in the summer of 1998. We don’t see all of the guys in this part, but they will be making more appearances as the story goes on! A big thank you to @sexgodashton​ for going over this with a fine tooth comb and to @spicycal​ and @softbabiestan​ for being my cheerleaders. Love you guys.  warnings: mentions of violence, hints of smut, mentions of guns word count: 5.7k

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               When Michelle Morgan left the small town of Charming at the age of eighteen to pursue her dream career, she knew she was leaving behind more than her parents and baby brother, Matty. She was leaving behind a group who she’d grown up with. Many said that her childhood sweetheart would leave her in the dust, break her heart whilst she was in the big city, studying her chosen profession. But those many knew nothing about her hometown life.

Growing up with the Irwin’s had been something of a blessing for her. The Morgan’s took it as the sign that it was, because nobody in Charming messed with the Irwin’s. Although her father had never joined SAMCRO—the known biker gang who ran many things off the books as well as their mechanics business—he fully supported them, helping out with transport when they needed it. 

Her friendship with Ashton—the only son of Anne-Marie and Bert Irwin—only formed because she’d been cornered by the playground bullies at the age of five, and her vicious kicks to their shins followed by Ashton pulling them away from her had the two kids as thick as thieves since.

They’d been childhood sweethearts from the get go, and with the rest of SAMCRO being an influence in her life, her father knew that she was going to be involved somehow. Her mother  first mentioned being Ashton’s “Old Lady” when they were sixteen—celebrating her sixteenth birthday no less—causing both teens to blush furiously at her words. The other club members had laughed, and despite her bright red face, she scoffed.

“Don’t like the idea of that, lil’ lady?” Bert teased her, the nickname filled with nothing but the affection that he and Anne both had for Michelle.

“Someone is gonna have to pull your sorry asses outta the fire when your plans go to shit. That’s gonna be me. I’m gonna study and get into those bigshot firms. And I’m gonna come back and keep the lotta you out of trouble.” She missed Ashton’s look of awe, but the other club members hadn’t. 

But her words had hit home for them, and so they toasted her luck on her sixteenth birthday.

That night, when the two were hidden away in their den—despite what their parents assumed when Ashton pulled her away—they were lay on the various throws and pillows that lived on the floor, cuddled up as he played with her fingers, gently bringing her knuckles up to his lips.

“Did you mean that Micha? You really gonna go away for however long it takes to be a big shot lawyer?” When it was just the two of them, he never hid from her. The fear was laid out for her to see.

“It’s gonna be seven years of school at least. Maybe a couple more to work with the big firms and get cases under my belt.” 

The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. Silence for them never had been since he’d confessed that he loved her when they were fourteen and had loved her since they were six. 

“Ten years is a long time, sweetheart.” She turned in his arms to face him, her eyes searching his face. She could see the fear sitting there, plain as day for her. 

“It is. But I’m not letting you go, Irwin. We’ve got ten years of love on our side, with another two before I’d have to go to University. Surely we can make it through another ten? I know your dad won’t put you on any of the runs, not till you turn twenty one. Which means we got four years of unfiltered time for you coming to visit, right?” 

“Of course.” He whispered, his lips brushing against hers softly. “Reckon you’ll let me into your pants before you leave?” And she giggled, his own face lighting up in joy.

“Reckon you can wait till I’ve gotta leave. I know you’re not gonna complain when my lips can be put to better use for the next two years.” He rolled over with a playful growl, pinning her down which earned a small giggle as he playfully nipped at her neck. 

“I reckon I can do that. But, I’ve gotta treat my birthday girl tonight.” His lips met hers and she didn’t argue. 

When she was accepted into University, the club had celebrated with her, watching in anticipation for her acceptance. She’d studied so hard for her entrance exams and had already imparted some knowledge to Bert to keep him out of trouble.

Her first year had been daunting. Ashton visited her once a month at most thanks to the cost of gas, but it was enough for them.

That was when people began to tell her that they’d never last. 

Men in her class would tell her that she’d be better off with them, but Michelle held her own. They didn’t like that. They tried to get vicious with her in the mock court sessions and various debates, but she had a secret weapon.

She’d grown up with SAMCRO, and in the words of Chibs, “she’s got balls of diamond that one”. Ashton had laughed at his words, and she’d thrown the drinks mat at his face, making the other club members laugh.

When she’d come home for the holidays, Bert had heard enough from Ashton to track her down and ask her if she wanted a second layer of protection. 

“I can’t give you Ashton, I need him here unfortunately. Him and Hood get into enough trouble.” This made her grin. 

“Throw in Hemmings and Clifford, and that’s going to be a disaster when they start doing runs.” Bert had snorted at her words.

“Either it’ll be crazy enough that it’ll work or a disaster.” He muttered before pulling the two of them back on track. “Instead of Ash, I figured it was about time that Chibs and I taught you how to shoot a gun, don’t you think?” 

“I know how to shoot a gun,” came back the retort, and Bert smiled.

“Ah, but from a moving vehicle? And what about awareness of your surroundings, lil’ lady?” Michelle paused before reluctantly shaking her head at his questions.

“I guess not.” She finally muttered and he grinned.

“Chibs and I will start you tomorrow. Ash can come as well. Maybe get him to rope Hood, Hemmings and Clifford into it. The four of them are gonna be a force to reckon with when he takes over.” 

“Oh no bet on that one. Cal will be his VP. You need to make sure that Bobby doesn’t murder them when they prank him because you know he’s gonna be their easy target.” 

The two of them made their way back into the Irwin household. Michelle laughed as her little brother rushed to greet her. It had definitely been strange being away from Matty for so long.“You’re not wrong. C’mon lil’ lady. You’ve been missed by a lot of people.” 

He’d guided her into the main dining and sitting room to find nearly all of the club there along with what was considered the next generation of club members. All of the younger members kept away from the free flowing alcohol, knowing that the following day was going to be daunting as it was. Michelle was happy enough to stay sober to talk to her parents and sit with Matty on her lap, listening to him going on about all the things he’d done in the months that she’d been away. 

Ashton barely left her side. 

The following morning felt like it was straight out of the movies. But she knew that this was the reality for the club members who did the various runs. 

Unsurprisingly, Ashton helped both Bert and Chibs. Michelle hadn’t expected anything less from her boyfriend, but even then, it still stunned her the trust that he had in her not to hit him with a bullet when it came to being aware of club members versus rivals. 

“Am I gonna really need to know this kinda stuff?” The complaint had been good natured, but the elder Irwin understood her hesitation. He hadn’t risen to her complaint, making her go through their course again. It was late afternoon before Chibs finally called to a halt, and they began to pack down, making sure nothing was left behind.

Once they were ready to go, Bert motioned for the other two to head off. Ashton scowled for a moment before his dad sighed.

“I just need to talk with your girl. I’ve got intel on her uni, and you need to go meet with Hood. the Harris’ have payments due.” With a quick kiss to his girlfriend, Ashton handed Michelle her helmet and then he was gone with Chibs.

“C’mon lil’ lady.” She didn’t hesitate to climb on the back of Bert’s bike. It was a level of freedom that she understood and part of her wanted her own to travel back to uni with, to show those men who thought she was easy that no one messed with her. 

The drive wasn’t too far out of Charming. It was mostly desert, but there was a little spot that gave a nice view of the town.

When the bike was parked up, Michelle was off first, heading to a small bench that had been left there by a previous resident.

“Ashton’s gonna be Club Prez one day. You and I both know this.” Michelle did know this. Both her and Ashton had known since they were kids. Ashton had always so desperately wanted to follow in his dad’s footsteps.

“What time frame?” She finally asked, turning her head to the man who had turned into a second father for her.

“Maybe by the time he’s twenty five. I’ve been CP for nearly forty years, and it’s time to retire for me.” This shocked Michelle, her eyes going wide. 

“But, Ash thought he wouldn’t be Prez til he was in his late thirties at least?” The surprise that coloured Michelle’s tone made Bert laugh as he threw his arm around her shoulders, squeezing her gently as he kissed her temple. 

“I’m glad that you both have faith in this old man. But unlike the others, I wanna be able to spoil my grandchildren when they come. I’m surprised that my boy hasn’t made an honest woman outta you.” 

Michelle blushed, making him laugh. “Shove off old man.” She groaned, pushing away from him, making him laugh even more.

“I just wanna know, what’s gonna happen. That’s all.” He raised his hands in surrender, and she sighed.

“We talked about it before I left in September. I want to finish school. He knows I’m already planning to spend maybe a couple of years in the big city in a firm so I have a few cases under my belt. He also knows that I want him. I never really wanted anyone else.” 

“And I know that, lil’ lady. That’s why I want to help you protect yourself. When Ashton becomes Club Prez, you know we’ve got problems that he’ll inherit. The second they find out you’re a lawyer? That’s a pretty lookin’ red target painted on your forehead.” 

Michelle nodded. “That’s why you had me take out the opposition vs our own.” 

Bert nodded. “I don’t anticipate you being part of the club like that. But if you get into a situation, I’ll be relieved to know that one of my girls can get away safely. You know we’d be devastated if we lost you, Anne-Marie especially.” Michelle felt her heart swell for this man and his wife. 

Her parents were good to her, and she knew that. And so were the Irwin’s. But knowing that they valued her like a daughter already made her appreciate just what she had in her life.

“At least by the time I’m finished with school, I’ll be there to haul his ass out of the fire coals.” Her murmured words made Bert laugh before patting her knee.

“And he’d be lucky to have you hauling his ass from the fires. C’mon lil’ lady. Let's get back before he goes off at me. I know you’re only here for a few more weeks, and he wants to spend as much time with you as possible.” 

When the two of them returned, Ashton didn’t hesitate to almost drag Michelle out to the den that they’d built as teenagers, making Bert laugh at her exasperated eye roll. But once the two of them were secluded away from the world, she happily nestled against him, their clothes long gone as she traced his tattoos.

“What was dad after?” His fingers ran up and down her spine, her body melting against him as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Told me why he was doing that today, why he wanted me to know how to at least fight back.” She murmured and his lips pressed against the top of her head.

“And why would that be, sweetheart?” Her head tilted up so that her chin could rest on his chest, her eyes catching his. 

“You’re gonna be Prez eventually, Ash. Everyone and their mother know about us. He’s worried that when you take over, you’ll be inheriting problems he’s been dealing with for years. Just being associated with you paints a target on my back. When they find out that we’re together? That target moves to my forehead.” There was no way to paint it nicely, but Ashton understood, even if there was crease between his brows at her words.

“Hopefully being in the big city takes it away, you’re out of town for too long.” She smiled sadly at him before letting the subject drop. 

“He also asked why you haven’t made an honest woman out of me. I think he forgets we’re only eighteen, and I’ve barely been away for six months.” Ashton laughed, and the mood changed drastically as she shifted, straddling his hips. 

“Trust me sweetheart, when I’ve saved up, I’ll be making an honest woman outta you. Those big shots can get fucked when they see a nice, shiny diamond on your finger.” 

“Oh there better be a shiny diamond eventually, Irwin.” He laughed as she leaned down to kiss him. 

Time passed by for them. Whilst he was saving up the money he earned from helping the club and working with Bobby in the garage, Michelle worked her ass off. 

Despite repeatedly telling men that she was taken, none really believed it. However, when she landed a few punches after one of them got too handsy with her, they quickly realised that it didn’t matter what they believed.

She could fight back, and she could put them down quicker than they’d ever be able to step away from. 

When Ashton had found out, he’d taken a month away, despite Bert half-heartedly arguing, he realised that if anything, it would keep her safer if they saw what kind of boyfriend she had.

She was surprised when he turned up after her lecture to pick her up. The roar of the bike engine was so familiar that it sounded out of place in the big city.

Michelle had been chatting with Jennifer, as they’d left, deliberately ignoring the few guys that seemed to invite themselves along. When Jen had spotted her ride, she hesitated, unwilling to leave Michelle with the guys from their course, circling around her like vultures.

“I can see if Jack could drop you off, save you from these creeps?” They shared a giggle.

 “Thanks but I need to head to the bar. Old Jerry wants me to stop by soon to try his new cocktails...” The roar of the engine made her pause, her eyes immediately searching out the sound.

“Chelle?” Jen had prodded her to get her attention, but once Michelle spotted the bike, her face lit up in undisguised glee.

“I don’t need to worry about getting a ride, mine just arrived.” The guys that had been lingering, scoffed. 

“Really Morgan? You’re going after a lowlife, probably with no stable job and an arrest record?” She wasn’t sure of his name, Mike or Marc, but his words triggered her anger. As the bike pulled up, she spun around, ready to punch him before remembering where she was.

“If I wasn’t so determined to become a lawyer, I’d have decked you with no hesitation. However, that apparent lowlife has been my best friend since we were kids. Add in the fact he’s literally the love of my life, and you get the picture. No arrest record, his dad runs and owns a garage that he’s set to inherit one day and not to mention, I like my men a little rough around the edges. How about you go fuck the blow up doll your buddies got you for Christmas and get off my fucking ass.” She snapped and she watched as he glanced behind her.

“He gonna come in and save you then?” This time, she smirked.

“When you run around with men that look like they could kill you, you get taught how to defend yourself from creepy assholes. Try it and see where this will get you. Not to mention that I’m a scholarship student. Why would I jeopardize this chance for a career?” Her voice had turned innocent, sweet. But the dare was laid for all to hear.

“You’re an ugly bitch anyway.” He finally muttered before turning on his heel and leaving. She shared a look with Jen before they both started laughing. Michelle hugged her friend goodbye before running to where Ashton was standing, leaning against his bike. 

The hindrance of her skirt meant that he could only pick her up and swing her around, but she was finally in the safest place.

“It’s been a minute.” She finally breathed when their lips pulled away, his smile only having grown wider.

“I know, but there are reasons. However, you’ve got me for a good chunk of time, doll.” This made her light up in excitement.

“How much time?” His smile was impossibly wide at this point as he dipped his head to kiss her once more.

“At least a month.” His voice was low, setting the fire off in her belly, but even that couldn’t squelch the joy that surged through her as she kissed him.

“Lets head back to mine then, handsome. I’ve got some new things for you to enjoy.” He had to swallow his reply as she got herself sat on the bike, a laugh escaping at the put-out look on her face.

“Sorry doll, but it looks so strange to see you dressed like that on my bike.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I haven’t got much of a choice. Dumb dress codes.” Ashton ignored her dar mutter as he placed her helmet on for her before climbing on and kicking the bike into life.

She’d missed the feeling of the bike underneath her. The way the engine rumbled was a reassurance, something that had come with years of riding around with Ashton and being taught to ride by Bert. It was a level of freedom that she never felt in the city, so enclosed and overrun with either pedestrians or cas. Bikes were around, but not ones like these, they were more what Bobby would call flashy toys, built for speed but would never survive one of the runs they did. 

When Ashton pulled up to Michelle’s place, there were nosey neighbours who peered from their windows to see what the noise was about. She outright ignored them as she took Ashton’s hand and led him up the stone steps to the house she was renting, the door barely closed before he had her pressed against the wall with his lips on hers.

 This was another thing she missed as she sighed into the kiss, the soft moan escaping as hands pushed up her skirt, and he began to tease.

“Do you think you’ll get complaints about any noise?” He murmured as his lips moved to her neck and she moaned at the sensations.

“Don’t care.” 

She didn’t hold back and neither did he.

When they were nestled up in her bed, having gotten their welcome home out of their systems, Michelle was dozing off against his chest when he leaned over to the floor, rummaging through his jacket pockets.

“What are you doing? I had a comfy pillow.” She muttered indignantly. He chuckled.

“I had a whole thing planned out, but being with you like this? Honestly it's the best moment I think.” 

This had her confused as he resumed his previous position but this time, she tilted her head so that it was resting on his chest, staring at him.

“And what moment would that be, Irwin?” He gave her the softest smile, one which she knew was reserved just for her.

“The moment to tell you that I’ve loved you for nearly my entire life, and I don’t want a life without you in it. Michelle Morgan, will you marry me?” he had the ring in his hands, and she couldn’t stop the gasp as she sat up, staring at him in shock.

“Ashton, this better not be a joke.” The tears threatened to fall and there was the soft smile again as he leaned forward to kiss her.

“I would never joke about this. You’re too important to me, Micha.” 

The first tear fell as she moved her trembling left hand, offering it to Ashton.

“Yes. Yes I will marry you.” The joy on his face in that moment sealed it for Michelle. As he slid the ring on her finger, he kissed it before his lips found hers once more.

“My sun, my moon, my stars.” He whispered.

When she went into her class on Monday, Jen was the first to notice the very shiny diamond ring on her finger.

“Oh my god, really?” Her friend gasped excitedly before pulling her into a hug. Michelle laughed.

“Really! He had this whole elaborate plan set out but ditched it because it didn’t feel like us. He wants to celebrate, but since he’s staying for the month, his brothers are going to travel up for celebrations next week. Ash wants to meet you and Jack and have a quiet double date before his brothers show up.” 

There were a few mutters from the men around them, but the two girls paid them no attention like they’d done from day one when the two realised they were the only females in the class.

“The only reason she’s getting married is because he probably knocked her up.” Mike-she was certain now after hearing his name called out on the register-muttered.

This time, she wasn’t going to let him slander her name like that. Those kinds of rumours not only fuelled fire but could potentially cost Michelle her career, and she wasn’t about to have any of it. 

Turning in her seat whilst they waited for the lecturer to start, she scowled at him. 

“Kindly refrain from making assumptions and starting rumours that you can’t back up with facts, O’Riley.” She kept her voice levelled, albeit slightly condescending. He scowled at her in return.

“What, scared that I’m right?” The taunt was a clear bait, determined to show she shouldn't be there. Both her and Jen had suffered from them.

The class had fallen silent at this, and Michelle smirked.

“How about I give you the facts first since you’ve spent the entirety of first year trying to make a point that neither Jennifer or I belong. I’ve known my fiance since we were children. Five years old to be precise. Whilst I’m at school, he works for the garage that his dad owns and will one day take over. He tries his hardest to visit once a month but sometimes he can’t because of obligations to the company means that sometimes the garage comes first.” She could see a few of the guys take on board her words.

Jen was smirking.

“If he were to have knocked me up, the last time I saw him was two and a half months ago. Notice how I haven’t swapped to any kinds of baggy clothing? Had I actually been pregnant, I’d have taken a leave of absence for a week so that I could go home and tell him as well as our families. Getting the picture yet?” His cheeks were burning as she so easily put him in his place.

“You have a go at the two of us, saying we don’t belong because we can’t be doing our studies right, we can’t be learning the same things as men. But if I look objectively at the situation, you’ve repeatedly tried to bait Chelle into an argument and lost every time. Most facts she’s been quite open about, and the others seemed to have put two and two together, but you can’t let go of the fact that she rejected you. So you hound her for anything. I hope that if you actually get into Law School after the undergrad program that you have to face her in the courts, because she’s clearly better than you.” Jennifer had spoken up in defence of her friend, and it had fallen silent before the lecturer began to clap.

Michelle hadn’t even realised that they’d eaten into the class time.

“Miss Morgan is correct, Mr O’Riley. Report to my office after class.” 

Unsurprisingly, O’Riley left her alone, and before Michelle knew it, the end of the year was upon them and she was back home with her family. 

She hadn’t had a chance to really pass the news and had forced Calum, Luke and Michael to stay quiet about it. Ashton knew better than to ruin this surprise for her, even though her family had been waiting for the day to happen ever since he’d asked her father’s permission the day after she’d left.

To say they were excited was understatement of the century. Both of them had winced at the high pitched squeal from her mother and her father was laughing at the scene before him.

They welcomed Ashton into their family when he was a child, but this was a different kind of welcome, one that really made him feel lucky to have the parents he had.

Unlike some of the weddings they’d seen from the club members, Ashton had been adamant. The wedding would be how Michelle wanted it, and if anyone had a problem then they could work at the garage instead. 

Bert had surprisingly backed his son up.

“She’s practically been my daughter since he brought her home with a skinned knee and tear tracks down her face. This is her day just as much as his, and if Ash wants it to be how she wants it, then no one will say a fucking word.” 

The prospects had eyed the father/son duo warily before nodding in acceptance. Ashton had already made it clear to them that they’d be around for security rather than the ceremony. 

They’d watched one of their previous comrades learn the hard way not to insult Michelle Morgan around any of them. The last prospect who did that not only lost his chance to be in the club but also ended up in the hospital with broken arms and a bullet to the knee. 

The warning rang loud and clear for them so they weren’t bothered by the fact they’d been relegated to security.

Despite the endless ribbing that Ashton had received from his best friends, he helped Michelle with ideas for what she wanted. They’d decided to plan and book it for the following summer, to let her get through her second year of university without worrying. 

“I’m going to defer a year after we get married.” Ashton stared at her in shock. She’d told him that the career was important to her, and he couldn’t wrap his head around why she would do that. 

He’d pulled her so that she was straddling his lap, the two of them sat on the sofa at his parents’. They were out for the weekend. He knew his dad was preparing for a patchover and his mom wanted as much time as possible with him without the two of them underfoot.

“And why are you deferring a year, doll?” 

“So that I can steal you away for a year. Our honeymoon is going to be much longer than two weeks.” The grin on her lips was almost predatory, and he felt the corner of his own twitch up in response. 

“Oh is it, Miss Morgan?” Her arms were resting on his shoulders as she leaned forwards, nibbling at the skin of his neck, her hips slowly rocking into his. 

He was struggling to stay focused. 

“A full year of us travelling. Motels, fancy hotels or hostels. Travel America and then maybe fly out and travel Europe. A whole year. I’m sure you wouldn’t be adverse to having sex in every state and then as much of Europe as possible.” Her teeth tugged at his earlobe, and he had her pinned on the couch, the look of shock amusing as his lips met hers.

“What my lady wants, my lady gets.” 

Later when they’d redressed themselves and were looking at various places, Ashton let out a sigh. “You realise that it means I’ll definitely be doing more runs. And maybe a few hits?” 

She squeezed his hand gently. “That’s why pops is planning on offering to pay for half of the trip. He knows what your dad does, they’re best friends. He knows what you do. He also knows that you’d protect me and move heaven and earth if you could. I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, so act surprised when he offers it.” This made him laugh as he kissed her temple.

“Secret is safe with me, doll. So July or August for the wedding date?” 

True to his word, Ashton did act surprised when her dad made the offer, however, he didn’t have to fake his shock at the amount that he was offering.

“That’s, surely that would cover the entire trip?” Ashton barely breathed. Marcus Morgan laughed as he slapped Ashton on the shoulder. 

“Son, I’ve been saving for this ever since she brought you home to us to introduce us to her newest best friend. At first it was small amounts which I was prepared to make her college fund, and then you two got together and her mother told me to start saving properly.” Ashton stared at his soon to be father-in-law, stunned.

He could do nothing but hug Marcus tightly in gratitude, in amazement, in awe. He wasn’t entirely sure. But he loved this man just as much as he loved his own dad.

Marcus understood the unspoken words and held onto Ashton just as tightly, giving him a moment to take in the significance of the offer. 

“You realise that the second Michelle finds out, she’ll flip?” Ashton finally asked as he pulled back, and Marcus laughed loudly.

“Like I’d expect anything else from that girl. She’s her mother’s daughter through and through. I can only count my blessings that she found you early on to temper her impulses.” Ashton tried and failed to hide his smirk as his soon-to-be in-law rolled his eyes before they were drawn into a discussion about the newest modifications he’d made to his bike. 

They still continued to plan, even when Michelle was back at University. Mercifully, after her verbal slapdown of O’Riley, both her and Jen had earned the grudging respect from their classmates. 

That respect was a big help when it came to the appointments for her dress fittings and bridesmaid dresses. If Jen hadn’t been one of her bridesmaids, she knew her friend would’ve handed her any and all the notes she needed for missed classes however, both of them relied on the notes from their classmates and the occasional meeting with their tutors.

It was a much quieter year for both her and Ashton, despite all the appointments and meetings for the venues and vendors. It dawned on them how much work it took to pull off the wedding that they were planning, on top of their respective school work and jobs. 

It was exhausting, but they pulled it off, she’d finished top of the class, with Jen close behind her and the business side for the Irwin’s had been thriving. 

Before she really knew it, she was standing in the foyer of the church, gripping her dad’s arm to stop the butterflies causing havoc through her entire body, let alone her stomach.

“You nervous sweet girl?” Her dad's tone was reassurance of all these new exciting feelings. She let out a small breath of air as she finally let it sink in that it was just Ashton waiting for her.

She was marrying her best friend.

“Excited. I still can’t believe he agreed to let you practically pay for our entire trip.” It had been a constant disagreement until her mother had sat her down and told her why her dad was doing this.

“Call it payback for you actually telling him before I could.” And she felt her jaw drop. She knew that Ashton hadn’t told him, or at least they’d suspected she’d gotten away with her slip up. 

Marcus chuckled as he gently tapped under her chin, her jaw shutting with an audible snap. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She hissed dangerously, and he grinned in return, his eyes suspiciously bright as his hand lifted, the backs of his fingers tracing down her face. She relaxed into the comforting touch almost immediately.

“You’re my child. I’ve raised you and I know you. Ashton is also mine, even though your mother didn’t bring him into the world. The two of you grew up with your mom and I as well as his parents. You might be able to fool the world sweetheart, but you can never fool your parents.”

It was another sigh before she let out a snort of laughter.

“Figures.” The key changed in the music, and the butterflies were back with reckless abandon. 

“Time to get the show on the road, sweet girl. I love you and I’m proud of you.” His lips touched her forehead, and it was almost like magic that her entire body relaxed. The butterflies finally settled as they began the walk down to her future husband.

-

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[angelliev]

Lover Boy - JJ Maybank x OC - Part Eleven - Star-Crossed Lovers

Word Count: 5.6K

Summary: Just when Aria feels lost and helpless, JJ and the pogues come up with an adventurous rescue plan. 

Warnings: Smut, fighting, cursing, chaos, the pogues being batshit crazy, tennis balls and TAMMY!

A/N: Not much guys. Just hope ya’ll enjoy. I’m looking forward to posting part twelve, so just want to give you guys a heads up, I don’t know how long it will take me to post it, but I’ll make sure to write and post it as fast as I can! Sorry for any typos lol. (Not my GIF. Credits to the owner. I don’t own the show, characters or song in this fic.)

Lover Boy Series Masterlist

Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed lovers, whose story ended in tragedy. The two were born to hate each other, but instead they fell in love together. Complete opposites. No one would approve of their relationship. I feel like Romeo and Juliet’s love story is a parallel universe to JJ and I’s love story.

Every day that passed by of me not seeing JJ made my heart ache violently. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I felt guilty for not being able to call or text him, explaining why I haven’t talked to him in almost two weeks. I can’t even imagine what he must be thinking. His worst fear is me leaving him, and I can only hope that’s not what’s going through his head right now.

My father has gone officially crazy. He has taken away all of my electronics, won’t allow my friends to come over, and worst of all, he’s having Rafe escort me to school and back home. He makes sure I have no way of talking to my friends at school. I just want to scream to the top of my lungs every time I have to sit in the same car as him. I’m not even allowed to call my mom and tell her about this ridiculousness. She had to go on this retreat to Africa, to help doctors treat patients. She gets back tonight. I could really use one of comforting hugs and support on my love life.

I wake up like every other morning, with the same routine. Wake up, cry, shower, cry, get dressed, cry, eat breakfast, and oh yeah, cry some more. I stare daggers into my father’s back as he speaks with Rafe. Now, they’re best friends to the end, partners in crime. Mission? Ruin my fucking love life. Rafe approaches me with a bowl of cereal in his hands and a smug smile that’s been plastered on his face for these two weeks.

“You should eat something darling. You look a little pale.” He holds the spoon out in front of me. I scowl at him before knocking the bowl out of his hands, spilling the cereal and breaking the glass in the process. “Get fucked.” I spit. “Now Aria, that’s not very polite of you.” My father scolds me. “Neither are you two getting involved in my love life. Seriously, don’t you guys have anything else better to do?” They didn’t even bother to answer.

“Fucking jerk offs.” I mutter before walking out to the car. I don’t even bother to sit in the front seat. I’d rather jump out of the moving car than sit next to Rafe. “You can’t hate me forever you know?” He looks at me threw the review mirror. “I can and I intend to.” I avoid his gaze. “I only did this for your own good. JJ has nothing to give you. He could never provide for you.” The mention of his name made my eyes sadden. “He has already given me everything I have ever wanted.” “Oh yeah? Like what?” “Love, passion, admiration, respect, loyalty, happiness and confidence.” Rafe just scoffs at this. “Yeah, well tell me when any of that cane buy you anything.” It was my turn to scoff. “He could have nothing but the shirt off his back and I would still love him.”

“I could give you so much more Aria.” I burst out laughing. “You can’t buy my love Rafe. The only thing you can buy, is yourself a penis enlargement and a fucking pair.” I spit. His foot hits the break, launching my body into the seat. “What the fuck!” Before I could even look up at him, he grabs me by the face, squeezing my cheeks. “Listen here you fucking slut. I will not be disrespected by you. You better watch your fucking tone or else I’ll break you down till you’re on the verge of killing yourself.” His voice is laced with sadistic rage. I panic and grab pair of scissors, aiming the tip at his throat. His body tenses.

“If you ever raise a hand to me like that again, I will gauge your fucking eyes with these pair of fucking scissors.” I threatened him, furious by his actions. He reluctantly lets go of my face, and I lay back in my seat. Hostile silence takes over the rest of the way to school. I slammed my door shut, a little too hard, before marching onto campus. I hated how everyone seemed to admire Rafe Cameron, while I despised him with every fiber in my body. Even the teachers have taken a liking to him.

The whole day was a fucking drag, as Rafe eyed me down like a hawk, never giving me the chance to escape. The school day was coming near to an end, which I was excited for. My mom should be home not too long after I get out. The bell finally rings and all the students usher their way out of the classrooms cheering since Spring break has officially started. The halls were chaotic and crowded, resulting in Rafe having a hard time keeping up with me, giving me the perfect chance to run for it. He yells after me as I get lost in the crowd. I scan my surrounding looking for one of my friends whether that would be Kie, Sarah or Charis. I need one of them to tell JJ that I haven’t forgotten about him.

I find myself out front of the school where everyone seems to be socializing. I let out a frustrated sigh as I can’t seem to find any of my friends. Instead I find someone else. For a moment my heart stopped and my breath hitch when I saw a familiar mop of dirty blonde surfer boy hair and ocean blue eyes. There he stood, by the curb with his motorcycle parked. He then catches my eye; the sparks light up in his own and a smile goes across my face.

I don’t hesitate to move my feet, sprinting down the stairs and towards JJ, dropping my backpack along the way. My heart had beaten ten times faster and the butterflies in my stomach had erupted like a volcano. The wind blows through my hair and across my now lit up face. His arms open wide for me, all warm and welcoming, making me squeal. I jump onto him, legs wrapped around his hips and arms around his neck holding him tight and never letting him go. My peers stare at us with shock written all over their judgmental faces. His great big arms latch around me and he buries his face in the crook of my neck. I look up at him to gaze into his eyes for a moment, before our lips crashed together in a passionate, loving and heated kiss. Everyone around us gasps. I missed the feeling of his soft and comforting lips on mine. I missed his tongue caressing mine. I missed his body pressed up against mine. He’s like my own brand of nicotine. I could never get enough of him, always left insatiable, never wanting to stop. We pull away when our lungs are gasping for air.

“I love you.” He declared in front of everyone. “I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I fucking love you, and I missed you so much.” He rambled on. “I love you too. I’m so sorry JJ. Rafe told my dad about us and everything went to shit from there.” We never let go of each other, too afraid that we’ll lose each other once more. “Aria!” Speak of the devil. We turn to see Rafe marching his way towards us. JJ stands in between as Rafe approaches us.

“Back off pogue. Take your dirty ass bike and get the fuck off our side of the island.” Rafe gets in his face, a crowd of curious on lookers begins to form around us. JJ doesn’t budge, he holds his ground. Rafe grabs a hold my arm painfully. JJ doesn’t react well to this when he shoves him off of me. “I swear to god man, if you ever touch her against her will again, I’ll fucking kill you.” JJ has a hold of Rafe’s collar. “Get the fuck off me! A dirty ass pogue like you doesn’t deserve her. She was perfect till you showed up.” “She was already perfect!” JJ disagreed. “You’re right, I don’t deserve her but god damn it, I love her and I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt her.” I lace my fingers with JJ’s, touched by his declaration. “I’m giving you one last chance to man before I beat the shit out of you.” Rafe threatens, but JJ doesn’t care. “Let’s go babe.” JJ pulls my hand as the two of us are ready to hop on his bike, but I’m stopped when Rafe’s hand yanks my hair causing me to yelp out of pain. I scratch his hand which only seems to piss him off more, when he slapped me across the face, the stinging sensation caused painful tears to burn my eyes. Everyone gasped.

JJ wasted no time to spring into action, punching Rafe right in the face. His nose makes a nasty crunch sound before blood is spilled over his clothes. Before I know it, the two boys are having a full-on brawl and the students are chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!”. Both boys get a few hits in there, that was until JJ is shoved to the ground and Rafe jumps on top of him. I act fast, grabbing my bag before smacking him in the face with it and knocking him over off of JJ, who quickly gets back up. I grab his hand and try to lead him away from the crowd, but we’re stopped by the campus security. The crowd began to disperse as the three of us are restrained.

Rafe had attempted to attack JJ again, but he didn’t get far, due to the security guard grabbing a hold of them again. The three of us are taken into the office, all of us are sitting outside the office as the principal takes our statements along with the police that the school called. The JJ and I sat next to each other, Rafe had to sit somewhere else, while we waited for our parents. That’s when Officer Peterkin walked to the two of us. She looks at JJ. “I called your father. He didn’t pick up son. Is there anyone else we can call?” She asked, her voice gentle and sympathetic, like she knew this was a soft spot for JJ.

“Nah, it’s fine really.” He shrugs. I take his rough bruised hand in mine. Officer Peterkin notices this, and just smiles before saying, “I remember when love made me do crazy things. Got me into all sorts of trouble, but in the end, it was all worth it. Just do yourselves a favor and lay low. Don’t add more fuel to the fire, and I’ll get you two lovebirds out of this.” She says quietly. After Officer Peterkin leaves to speak with Ward Cameron, I see my father bursts through the doors.

“What the hell happened?” My dad questions the principal. “Based on the security footage, Rafe Cameron, yanked Aria by the hair and slapped her across the face. JJ here stepped in and punched Rafe, and that’s when everything went downhill.” Explained the principal. “Is my daughter in trouble?” My father pinches his nose. “No sir, she was the one who was assaulted.” “Then it’s settled. Come on Aria we’re leaving.” My father demands, but I stand my ground. “No, I’m staying here with JJ.” I squeezed his hand tighter. “I don’t have time for your bullshit Aria! Let’s go now!” He yells, gaining everyone’s attention. I sighed and pecked JJ’s lips before my father ripped me out of the chair and office. He opens the cars door, before throwing me into the passenger seat and slamming the door, only inches away from my face.

To say the drive home was awkward is an understatement. The tension ate away at me, as my dad said nothing. He just sat there and fumed, his face was beating red as sweat dripped down his face. We pull into the driveway where I see my mother’s car. Just seeing it made me want to cry. I didn’t hesitate to jump out of the car and run into the house, ignoring my dad’s yelling. I didn’t even reach the stairs when I see my mom pop out of the corner. “Oh my god, honey your face!” She gasped as she examined my cheek. “I swear to god if I ever see Rafe again, I’m going to rip his bloody spine out and shove it up his ass!” My mother’s words surprised me. She is one of the most kind and gentle people I know, so for her to say such graphic things actually scared me. “I’m fine mom really it’s just a slap. When did you get back?” “About five minutes ago. The school left a voicemail.” The front door slams shut, and my father marches towards me. I can tell he’s about to yell, but my mom stops him.

“Don’t even start. She’s already had a rough day.” My mom shuts him up. “I don’t care if she had a rough day! She disobeyed me and saw him!” “See who?” My mom asked confused. She still didn’t know? I thought my father would have already told her by now. “JJ Maybank! She’s been fooling around with him ever since we moved here. I told her she was forbidden to see him, but she clearly doesn’t give two shits about what I have to say.” He glared daggers at me. My mom was just in shock. “JJ Maybank? I remember him. He delivers groceries to us and has mowed our lawn. He’s a good kid what’s the problem?” A part of me wanted to smile at her approval. This did not please my dad however. “I need to shower. Excuse me.” I walk up the stairs, not wanting to be a part of this conversation. My dad tries to follow me, but my mom grabs his arm. “Don’t you even dare. Leave her be Claude. Let’s talk about this in the kitchen.” She drags him off as I slam my bedroom door shut.

I waste no time to jump into my shower to wash away my sweat and gunk. A hug weight has been lifted off of my shoulders to hear my mom defend me. She barely even knows him, yet she is willing to give him a chance. I wrap myself in a towel and pace around my room for a while, having no idea what to do. Do I go downstairs to talk to my parents or do I take the chance run out the door and see JJ? I just sigh out of frustration when my body collapsed on my bed, damp hair wetting my pillow. I missed his touch. I missed the way he wrapped his arms around me today and kissed me so passionately. I had gone weeks without him. I just want him ravish me. Fuck me till sunrise. My fingers mindlessly find the lips of my flower. I began to run my finger up and down the slit. I hear my parents yelling downstairs, so I put on a playlist JJ had made for me a while back, and turn the volume all the way up to drown out the noise. It’s one of his favorite rock & roll songs. He loves to fuck me to this kind of music in the background.

I insert my fingers once the music begins to pick up pace, keeping up with it. As I ram my fingers in and out of me, chasing a high that was impossible to reach, I thought of JJ. All the dirty thoughts of him began to flood my mind. I think about the way his eyes always seem to turn a shade darker. I think about the sound of his moans and groans when I clench around him. I think about how the headboard never fails to hit wall while he fucks me hard into the bed. I think about the way he leaves love bites all over my body. “JJ…” His name slips pass my lips. The mere thought of him was the only thing getting me off right now.

“Aria…” My heart practically stops when I hear my name. I search the room for the owner of the voice. “Over here babygirl.” I whip my head around to see JJ outside my window. My heart skips a beat when I set my eyes on him. I quickly let him in before shutting the window. It just occurred to me that he just caught me masturbating to the thought of him. He probably heard me moaning his name. “Sounds like someone missed me.” His cocky smirk was plastered on his lips. I blush out of embarrassment. “You’re such a creeper.” I didn’t even bother to ask him what he was doing here, I’m just glad he’s here, that’s all that matters. Even if I’m standing in the middle of my room in nothing but a towel. I shouldn’t be embarrassed, after all we’ve done worst.

“Don’t worry babygirl. I thought it was super-hot.” He grabs my waist before pulling me against him, attacking my lips in a heated lustful kiss. His tongue immediately fights for dominance and I gladly submit to him. I was willing to let him do whatever he wanted to me. I threw his hat off, letting his gorgeous hair fall. My towel lets go of my body and pool round my feet, leaving completely exposed in front of him. His hungry predator eyes take in every inch of my body. He groans at the sight of me naked in front of him, while he’s still fully clothed, the bulge in his pants visible. “Looks like you missed me too.” I let my fingers graze his clothed bulge. “What can I say, you gave me one hell of a show. Did you cum?” He asked as my hands trace up his arms. “No.” I whimper, desperate for a release. “Lay on the bed babygirl.” He orders. I don’t hesitate to lay back, legs hanging off the end, as he kneels in front of me, placing my legs over his shoulders. “Daddy’s gonna make it all better. I’ll make you feel so good. I’m gonna make up for all those days you went without my touch.” He kisses my inner thighs.

I let out a quiet whimper when I feel his hot breath fan my aching pussy. My whole body shakes with anticipation. “Please, do something. Make me cum.” I beg. He just smirks, before his lips attach to my flower, making me mewl. His tongue runs up and down my slit, before diving into my hot dripping core, his tongue massaging my insides. My fingers caress his hair, occasionally tugging it. He then uses his fingers to rub figure eights on my sensitive clit. I pull on his hair, making him groan, sending vibrations to my pussy. I bite down on lip, trying to contain my moans. “Fuck, baby I’m gonna,” I don’t get to finish my sentence before the familiar wave of euphoria comes crashing down on me. Tears roll down my cheeks, relieved that I finally reached the impossible high I was looking for.

He throws his clothes across the room, leaving him completely naked in front of me, fully erect. I sit up and reach for his member, but he just grabs my wrist. “Not tonight babygirl. I want to make you feel good. You deserve it babygirl. Just lay down and let me do all the work.” He says before pushing me down on the bed, and widening my legs. He uses his hand to pump himself a few times before lining himself up at my entrance. Sighs of relief leave the both of us when pushes himself inside me bottoming out. His eyes roll to the back his head as lets out a quiet moan. He took a few seconds to let me adjust to him, due to the fact we hadn’t had sex in a couple weeks. “Don’t be gentle.” I whisper.

He doesn’t hesitate to pull out leaving just the tip in, before diving back in with such powerful force. Our quiet moans begin to the fill the room, hoping we wouldn’t be heard with the music playing in the background. He quickly removes my legs from his shoulders to change positions, once he noticed the headboard was starting to hit the wall. This time he pulls me into his lap before thrusting upwards back into me, continuing to fuck me in lotus position. Our bodies are fully pressed up against each other. His pelvis rub against my clit.

His lips attach to my neck, biting down softly as I let my finger nails lightly scratch his back, causing him to groan and curse. “Fuck, you keep doing that, then I ain’t gonna last long.” He said through raspy breaths, a moan bubbling in his throat. “Oh, I know.” I giggle. He just smirks before kissing my lips. “God, I missed this. Your hot wet pussy around my cock. Fuck babygirl, I think I'm in heaven. I’m so close.” His thrusts become more erratic. “That's right baby, cum inside me.” I encourage him as he fills me up with hot steaming cum, my walls clamping down around him. He kisses me to muffle out both our moans, as we both ride out our highs, before collapsing on the bed breathless.

His body goes limp on top of me. “JJ, you're crushing me.” I begin to feel claustrophobic. He quickly pulls out, warm cum gushes out of me, and rolls off me. I snuggle into his warmth, our legs entangle together  as he covers our naked bodies with the blanket. We lay there for a bit in silence, before I giggle. His face is covered with goofy smile as he watches me giggle uncontrollably.

“What the hell is so funny?” He asked puzzled. “No, you’ll laugh at me.” I refuse to answer his question. “I won’t. Just tell me.” He promises. I sigh, looking up at him. “You know those big cannons you find at circuses that shoot confetti?” He just quirks his eyebrow. “Uh, yeah?” “Well, it started to make me think. Penises are a lot like cannons, but instead of shooting confetti, it shoots sperm.” JJ starts balling out laughing, I had to shush him. “You promised not to laugh!” I whisper shouted. “I'm sorry, but that shit is just so weird and funny.” His face turns pink from laughing so hard. “You're such a weirdo. You know that?” He asked. “Yeah, but I’m your weirdo.” He just chuckles. “That you are indeed.” He kisses me so soft and lovingly, pulling me closer to him. We lay there for a little bit, just indulging in each other’s presence, until it was time for him to leave.

I jump out of bed and open my closet, pulling out on of many JJ’s sweatshirts. “You sneaky little shit. I’ve been wondering where all of my clothes went.” He motions to the stash of his clothes in my closest. “But they're so warm and smell like you.” I say innocently as I tie my hair up into a ponytail with his bandana. “You're lucky you're adorable.” He mutters under his breath as he puts his clothes back on. He walks back to the window. 

“I don’t want you to leave.” I mumble softly, hating to see him leave. “I know, we’ll figure out something. You and I will be back together soon. I promise babygirl.” He kisses me passionately as his legs dangle out the window. This all reminded me of the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet. He reluctantly pulls away. “I love you Aria.” “I love you too JJ.” I whisper. And like Romeo, he disappeared.

Next Day...

I haven't slept so good since last night. I guess JJ fucking my brains out had refreshened me, which is exactly what I needed. I put on a nice sundress for today’s event, a charity event at the club. My father had insisted that I make a appearance, while my mom argued that it was wrong to parade me around like everything was alright when it indeed wasn’t. To her surprise I said yes. I’m hoping to see Charis, Kiara or Sarah. It’s been a while since I was able to talk to them. 

“You look gorgeous sweetheart.” My mom's voice snaps me out of my daze. “It’s a good color on you.” She referenced to the white sundress. I smile, not at the compliment, but at the memory this gave me. It’s the same dress I wore the night I lost my virginity to JJ. “Thanks mom.” I mumble. She looks at me sad eyes. 

“Do you love him?” My mom asked, looking into my eyes through the mirror. “Yes, I love him so much. Words can't describe how he makes me feel mom.” My voice shakes. “How does he make you feel?” She asked once more. “He makes me feel so special. He always knows how to boost my confidence. He treats me like I’m the only girl in this world. He kisses me with so much love and passion. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love him.” I confess. “Then don’t give him up.” Her words surprise me. “What?” “If you love him that much, and he makes you feel like that everyday, he’s worth it. You should be with someone you love. Trust me, the last thing I want for you is to end up in a loveless marriage.” My stomach fills with guilt. “I’m sorry mom.” My voice is soft. “For what?” She asked confused. “I just can't help but feel like I'm always causing you and dad to fight. Like I'm ripping your marriage apart.” My voice shakes. 

“Hey, look at me.” She takes my face in her hands. “You are not ripping our marriage apart sweetheart. Your dad and I have been unhappy for years. This has nothing to do with you.” She reassured me. “Are you and dad getting a divorce?” I asked timidly. She just sighs. “I’ve been thinking about it. He’s just not the man he used to be. I’ve been wanting to leave him for years, but I was afraid it would hurt you and your siblings.” She’s not able to look me in the eyes. “Mom, you shouldn’t have to put up with him. You deserve someone better. I know it’s messed up to say that about my dad, but you deserve to be happy. Plus, it’s my senior year. I’ll be graduating in a few months, so I won’t even be living with him. If you think splitting up with dad is the best solution, then I won't stop you, and neither will Damian or Jennifer.”  I hold her hands. She just smiles at me. “Thank you sweetheart. I mean it. Now, let’s go. I want to hear more about this JJ fellow.” She wiggles her eyebrows making me laugh. 

The charity event seemed to go smoothly, but I sat there at the table bored out of my mind, as my parents socialized with the Donahues, that was until Charis sat next to me.  I then see Ward and Rose Cameron approach the table. Fuck. 

“Hello Oscar and Ingrid. Mind if we speak with Mr. and Mrs. Prescott?” Ward asked sounding formal. “Of course. I need to attend to some matter anyways. Charis?” Ingrid calls for her, much to her dismay. I tap my leg under the table as the couple sit down. 

“Aria, we wanted to apologize on behalf of our son’s behavior. He had no right to hit you like that, and for that we are sorry.” Ward speaks. I just sit there awkwardly not wanting to say. “Aria, don’t you have something to say?” Claude pressed. I huff. “Thank you for coming here to apologize for your son, but that doesn’t change what he did to me or my sister.”  My father glares at me. “No, it doesn’t, and we have made it very clear to Rafe won’t be held in our household.” Ward agrees. 

“We were hoping that you guys would be dropping the charges against him.” Rose says. This seemed to irk my mom. “That won’t be happening.” She says. “Elaine.” Claude says her name annoyed. “Your son needs to be held accountable for his violent actions against my daughter.” My mom stood her ground. “Perhaps we can work out a little ‘arrangement’.” Ward suggested. “No. I will not tolerate your son. I don’t want him anywhere near my home or Aria. If he ignores my wishes, I will make sure to place a restraining order against him. Do I make myself clear?” Asked Elaine. Ward’s jaw clenches. 

“Crystal.” Him and Rose leave the table. My father glares at mom. “Do you have any idea what you've done?” He asked angrily. “I just defended our daughter, who you clearly don’t care about.” Elaine spat. Claude turns to me. “None of this would've happened if you just stayed away from that dirty lowlife pogue.” “Don’t even start.” Elaine stops him. The Donahues take their seats back at the table. Things seemed to go normal from there, just the same boring talk, until Charis excused herself to the bathroom, and blew me a kiss, confusing me.

“More water for ya’ll?” I look up to see John B in a tight ass waiters outfit, hair in pigtails, with the name tag ‘Tammy’. Fight me. I almost choked on my spit. I then look down at the waiter's trolley to see JJ hiding under the cloth. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. What the hell are they up to? JJ hands me a note, sends me wink and returns to hiding. I look down to read the note.

“Run when hell breaks loose.” What the fuck? ‘Tammy’ strolls away with the cart. I sit there waiting anxiously for the signal. I couldn't help but wonder where the hell Sarah and Charis were. My question was answered when I heard a fork clinking against a glass, by Charis, gaining everyone's attention. 

“I’d like to make a toast!” Oh god. “To all the amazing people here today. This is truly amazing ya’ll. Give yourselves a round of applause!” Everyone smiles and applauds, much to my confusion. All of the sudden, a tennis ball shoots across the room, landing in my dad’s bowl splashing soup everywhere, startling everyone. We didn’t even have the chance to say anything, before we heard little paws run on the tiled floor. Everyone turns to see what was causing the commotion. That’s when we say a full-grown Great Dane, running towards our table. Before we knew it, the handsome Great Dane jumps onto our table for the ball, making a huge mess. 

I don’t think twice before I take off running towards JJ, who’s standing across the room. Everyone's eyes were on me now, as I jump into his arms smiling, ignoring my father’s yells. “Whoo! Let's go babygirl!” Everyone gasped when JJ pecked my lips. JJ then whistles, catching the Great Dane’s attention. “C’mere boy!” The dog runs after us with full speed. My father follows shortly behind us, along with security.

JJ leads us outside to the entrance, where we see two cars parked, the van and  Charis’s car, who opens the door letting the dog hop in. The side door of the van opens next, revealing a smiling Kiara and Sarah in the back, the John B and Pope in the front. “Get in bitches!” Sarah hollers. JJ and I dive into the van. “I owe you one Charis!” JJ yells. “Don’t mention it! Have fun!” She yells back before speeding off. “Hit it!” Sarah yells at John B, who punches the gas, launching us all backwards. 

My father was following very close, trying to keep up with us. “Get the hell out of that fucking van!” He yells to me. “Don’t worry sir! I’ll take great care of her! I promise!” JJ yells before closing the door. We all cheer as we gain distance. “Welcome back to the crew Pogue!” John B yells. “Whoo! Pogue Style babygirl!” JJ yells before pulling me into a kiss, earning groans from the pogues. “Ew! Save it for the room guys!” Pope yells. “Wait, where are we going?” I asked. Everyone just shares a look before Kie speaks, “Well, it’s a good thing we packed your bags, cause we’re going to Miami!” She cheers. “Holy shit! Are you guys serious?!” I asked astonished. “Fuck yeah we are!” JJ shouts. “Miami here we come!” Sarah shouts to the rooftop, as John B turns up the radio.

We sing along to the song ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ by Tear for Fears.  JJ opens up the side door, grabs a hold of the handle and sticks his body out catching the wind, screaming the lyrics. The boys up front roll down their windows. We all let loose and sing the chorus together. “All for freedom and for pleasure! Nothing ever lasts forever! Everybody wants to rule the world!” Our screams can be heard throughout the outer banks. I’m excited to see where this Spring Break leads us. I know it’ll be amazing and unforgettable, because I’m surround by this spectacular family and amazing lover. They’re my greatest adventure.

[somedayonbroadway]

omgomg could you please do another cinderella story?

Omg I love this one

Another Cinderella Story AU

Characters

Racetrack Higgins — Mary Santiago

Spot Conlon — Joey Parker

William Snyder — Dominique Blatt

Morris Delancey — Bree Blatt

Oscar Delancey — Britt Blatt

Jack Kelly — Tammy

Katherine Plumber — Dustin AKA The Funk

Riddle — Natalia (this is an OC of my friend @bexlynne. She’s amazing)

TW: Child Abuse (I mean obviously... it’s Cinderella.)

Race is a high school junior living with his legal guardian, a big time producer, and the man’s sons Oscar and Morris. He’s lived there since his mother died. His mother was a dancer that Snyder had “helped out” several times. He got her jobs in an exchange for… well you can imagine. Snyder took Race in when he was only six, after his mother died in a car crash.

He raised Race as his own personal servant, only pretending to be kind to him until the social services worker was done with the visits and Race was officially in his care. That’s when Snyder started to really “discipline” Race whenever he got something wrong. He’d hit him, knock him down, trip him and lock him in closets. Race hates being locked in the closet, it’s his least favorite punishment.

Snyder always tells him that he has nowhere else to go, even when Race tries to run away one day, having somewhere to go. But eventually, Snyder gets inside his head and Race believes at least somewhat that he’s dependent on Snyder, because he is. Snyder keeps a roof over his head and food in front of him, at least most of the time. But in exchange, Race is basically just a maid to him.

Race doesn’t complain too much about it. He’d learned the hard way that complaining was a bad idea.

Growing up, Morris and Oscar and him never got along, as they also treated Race like the hired help.

Race lives in the guest house which is a small shack in the backyard with no sort of lock or anything. Snyder never drives him anywhere. Snyder doesn’t even drive himself. He gets transported around in a limo and Race has never seen the inside of it, mostly getting around on a skateboard. It was a gift. But not from Snyder.

Anyways, Race’s dream is to be a dancer, just like his mother. All he has left of her is a couple of photos and a necklace. The necklace is a small music note on a chain. Race wears it everywhere.

One night, it is announced that a pop star named Spot Conlon is coming back to high school for his senior year. He used to go to the same high school as Race and Race used to have a big crush on him that he tried to keep as quiet as possible.

This year, Race goes back to school knowing Spot’s coming back. The morning off, he does Snyder’s laundry, cleans two bathrooms before skateboarding out of his house until he manages to get around the block where an orange truck is waiting to pick him up.

Snyder forbids Jack from stepping foot on his property. He can’t stand Jack.

Jack is Race’s half brother. Same dad, different moms. Jack was put up for adoption after his dad overdosed and Medda adopted him. He never knew his mom. Jack and Race did grow up together, but never lived together. Their father wanted them to know each other. Jack is Race’s best friend in the world. Jack’s a year older than him. He’s the one who buys Race gifts and tries his best to spoil him because he’s the only one who knows how Snyder treats the other boy.

That morning, he gives Race a zune and Race is over the moon about it.

Jack’s orange truck is basically falling apart, but he loves the thing. He worked hard for it and fixed it up all by himself even though Medda offered to help him pay for it. Race loves that he loves it. But he can’t stand the truck. It’s broken down on them before.

Jack is an artist and designer. He makes clothes and wants to own his own label. He makes Race dance clothes because Snyder won’t buy Race any.

Anyways,

Once they get to school, they’re ambushed by Race’s adoptive brothers who throw a soda at him with their good friend Riddle, who also just happens to be Spot’s old girlfriend. They tell him they didn’t see him standing right in front of them because he was practically invisible.

Jack goes to pound them into the ground but Race stops him, pulling him into the school behind him.

Jack and Race are pretty much attached at the hip during school hours. They aren’t popular or well liked, but they don’t mind.

When Spot arrives at the school, there’s a huge group of people waiting for him when he steps out of his limo with his best friend/manager, Katherine Plumber.

Katherine is punk and I love it. She has purple hair and a ton of piercings.

They go through the school, Katherine fending off Spot’s fans so that he can get to his classes. While not paying attention, he runs smack into Race, knocking him down and sending papers everywhere.

Jack is right about to pull Spot up and give him a piece of his mind, but Spot apologizes and helps Race up, helping him collect his things before Riddle swoops in and pulls Spot to her, giving him a big kiss and trying to flirt with him, even though Spot’s pulling away trying to talk to her. He tries to tell her they broke up a year ago, but she doesn’t seem to understand it, even after Katherine intervenes and pulls him away so they can get to class.

This is also when Kath and Jack have their first interaction. Race doesn’t stop teasing him about it.

Riddle gives Race a smug look and walks away. But Oscar and Morris stand in Race’s way when he’s trying to get to class. Jack once again goes in for a soaking, but Race stops him again, hissing about not wanting to spend his night in a closet. It’s only that that gets Jack to back down.

He puts an arm over Race’s shoulders and leads him away, glaring at the other set of brothers the whole time.

After school, Jack always offers Race a ride, but Race declines. Even though he’s supposed to go straight home after, he goes to dance class, like he does most days. But since he’s not supposed to go there, he can’t have Morris or Oscar spotting Jack’s truck outside.

He skateboards there and sneaks in through the back, jumping a fence and using a two-way mirror to take class while also not being seen. He’s the best dancer there, even if no one can see him.

Today, he finds that Spot Conlon is coming in to help teach the class. Everyone goes crazy. Race is happy to see him, even if Spot doesn’t know he’s there.

Throughout the whole class, Riddle is trying to show dominance over everybody and dance with Spot, determined to win him back even though Spot clearly seemed to be over her.

Race just rolled his eyes and kept on dancing the whole time.

Until his phone started ringing.

The teacher can hear it. He, quite literally, dives for his bag and answers his phone in a whisper even though Snyder is screaming at him on the other end, telling him that tonight was an important dinner and Race would be suffering consequences later for being late.

So Race rushes to the grocery store to get dinner that he can make for Snyder and whoever he’s having over. When he gets home, Morris and Oscar, who were at the same dance dance class he was, are standing there waiting for him. Race tries to get past them, but the brothers pull him into the living room, telling him that he must know who’s joining them for dinner.

Only Spot Conlon. His crush.

Race denies he has a crush on Spot. It’s something he tries not to think about it. After all, he doesn’t have time for things like that, not with trying to graduate early and get into the Manhattan School for Performing Arts and all. Medda and Jack are trying to help him get in. They support him fully.

But Morris and Oscar force Race to sit between them on the couch so they can watch an old tape that Race made when he was younger of him confessing his love for Spot Conlon. It’s embarrassing and ridiculous and Race yells at them for going through his stuff and gets up to rip the tape out, ruining it, but Morris and Oscar reveal that that’s not their only copy.

Race rolls his eyes at them but goes to make dinner anyway, knowing there’s nothing he can do about it.

Later, Spot is waiting for Snyder to arrive with Oscar and Morris trying to be his friend and even though he’s clearly uncomfortable, they’re still trying to win him over.

Katherine and Spot’s parents are getting restless just along with Spot who states that if Snyder doesn’t show up in the next five minutes, he’s taking Katherine for burgers.

Morris and Oscar ask if they can come.

Spot admits that he doesn’t really want to work with Snyder because Snyder is a “has been”. His parents scold him for being rude and get into an argument about who’s actually managing Spot, as they both think they are, even though Spot knows that Katherine is.

Eventually, Snyder shows up, claiming he had problems with “the help” and joins them, barely managing to keep Spot in the room.

He tries to gain some business with Spot as he calls in Race to start serving them.

Race tries his best to hide his face, not really wanting Spot to see him as some kind of servant, but he doesn’t really have a choice.

He serves them while a small argument breaks out and is pulled every which way until Spot finally stands, pushing him backwards and making him fall over, sending appetizers and drinks all over him.

Spot apologizes profusely and tries to help clean Race up as Katherine announces that she’s Spot’s only manager. His parents pull him from the room, leaving Race on the floor alone.

Once they’re gone, Snyder grabs Race by the arm and pulls him up, telling him to clean up the mess he made within the next thirty minutes before shoving him back onto the ground and taking his phone, telling him he’s not allowed to use any phone for a month.

After Race cleans up, Snyder locks him in his closet, leaving him there till the morning.

The next night, Jack sneaks into Race’s room to sit and talk with him. He brings a laptop and popcorn so they can watch a movie but they mostly just end up talking. And Race tells Jack he doesn’t want to go to the black and white ball.

The black and white ball is supposed to be the best dance of the year. It’s a masquerade.

Jack is upset by this, telling Race that he has to go because he’s been working on Race’s suit and mask for months and Race never gets to have fun.

They’re interrupted by Snyder shouting at Race from inside, telling him he’s supposed to be cleaning. Race flinches and Jack tells him he can run away with him for a night, but Race says that it’ll only make things worse. So he goes, but not without a hug from his big brother.

But Morris and Oscar heard him and Jack talking and warned Snyder about it, pissing their father off more when Snyder realized that Jack was even there to begin with.

So the next day Snyder tells Race that he has a new chore for him, for Race to clean Snyder’s bedroom. Race knows that place is a disaster and tries to argue, but it gets him nowhere, only causing Snyder to threaten his privilege to go to school and see his friends, or his one friend, Jack. Race tells him he can’t do that, that Jack is his brother and he has a right to see him but Snyder backhands him, telling him that he owns Race and can do whatever he wants.

Race calls Jack, telling him he can’t go to the ball with him and almost crying when Jack demands to know why. But Snyder picks up the phone and tells Race that he lost his phone privileges and that meant the landline too. Race gets pushed around a little bit, but it’s nothing he can’t handle.

Snyder leaves for the night, so Race starts working, knowing he has to.

That night, someone rings the doorbell. Race opens it to find Jack, standing there with two suits with him.

He tells Jack he can’t, but Jack thinks otherwise, stepping aside to reveal a full fledged cleaning crew, courtesy of Miss Medda who told Race to have an excellent time at the ball.

Until midnight when Snyder swore he’d be home.

At the ball, Oscar and Morris are with Riddle, trying to pick Spot out of the crowd, though everyone is wearing a mask.

Katherine is hanging with Spot, wearing devil’s wings and wearing a black and white dress and a fedora. She looks amazing. Spot is wearing a simple black suit and a mask that covers most of his face. He’s chilling. Spot told Katherine they were going to a costume party but she doesn’t mind.

When she looks up the stairs, she says that it looks like she wasn’t the only one.

Race is wearing a deep red suit with black and gold detailing. Jack is clearly proud of his work on the suit and on his little brother’s black and grey mask. Jack is wearing a grey suit he designed as well as a black and gold mask and a fedora, much like Katherine’s.

Jack forced Race to go down even though Race gets nervous and wants to run.

Race immediately runs into a nice guy who Jack immediately finds Race getting flustered with. Race gets all awkward when the guy flirts with him. Jack encourages him and swoops in on the guy's cute friend who he has to admit he loves the devil wings too. She takes a liking to him and tells him she’s Spot Conlon’s best friend to which Jack replies “am I supposed ta be impressed by that?”

They go off to dance, leaving Race alone with the mystery guy, otherwise known as Spot Conlon.

Eventually, Spot asks Race to dance and Race gives his zune to the DJ asking him to play a specific song.

And they dance.

It looks choreographed and professional and they move so well together.

Riddle and Morris and Oscar realize that one of the guys must be Spot but they don’t know who the other is. Riddle “accidentally” trips Race and Spot can’t catch him, but he tells Race he was amazing anyway and reveals who he is by taking his mask off.

Race is shocked but doesn’t have time to talk as Jack rushes to him and tells him it’s almost midnight.

So Race grabs his zune and rushes to get away, dropping the thing on his way out, almost going back for it, but Jack forces him to keep going, getting very excited for him in the car and telling him he was amazing and looked like a natural dancing with a famous performer. Race is embarrassed.

He manages to get back to Snyder’s clean room barely. Snyder finds him in there, sitting on his bed. Race slips out without a hit that night and goes to his room to find Jack waiting for him with a midnight snack and a hug.

This is why he loves his brother.

The next day, Spot is determined to find the boy that he danced with. (Spot is openly bisexual). He manages to charm his way into the morning announcements where he says he has the boy’s zune and will give it back to his muster boy as long as the boy knows the top five played songs on the thing.

Jack encourages Race to tell Spot but Race says that’s not in the cards for him.

Spot and Kath think it’ll be easy, but practically the whole school lines up, boys and girls, claiming to be the person he dances with at the ball. Race is not one of them, but Morris and Oscar hear Jack telling Race to admit it on the stairs.

When Race gets home that day, Morris and Oscar tell him that if he even tries to tell Spot the truth, they’ll post the video they have of Race online and then order him to make dinner. And Race can’t do anything about it.

Then Morris and Oscar go separately to Race’s room to find the songs on his zune hidden on an old laptop.

The both go to school the next day, trying to convince Spot they were his mystery guy even though not even both of them are gay.

Jack finally convinces Race to go for it, but Spot believes Snyder is just trying to get him to do business with him and blows him off, remembering him as “working for Snyder”.

So Race gets back in Jack’s car and hides for a minute, feeling trapped and alone. Jack holds him for a minute because he’s honestly the best brother.

A few days later, Snyder is hosting a birthday party for both of his sons and it seems like the entire word is invited. Race is put on the catering team and is there to serve at the party instead of actually attending it and Jack shows up to help him, knowing Snyder won’t even know he’s there because there’s so many people.

Katherine shows up, still determined to find Spot’s mystery guy for him at the party. Instead, she runs into Jack. She recognizes him and he pretends not to remember her though he notes that her cute purple hair looks familiar.

Jack finally admits to Katherine that Race is Spot’s mystery guy so Kath calls Spot into the party and Race is finally about to try and tell Spot again because he can’t keep living life pretending he’s invisible.

Just as he’s about to admit it, the video of him starts playing and he flees the room, completely embarrassed.

He runs into his room crying before he gets an idea and takes a stereo out into the backyard, playing the song that he and Spot first danced to.

That’s when Spot finds him.

He apologizes immediately for blowing Race off. And Race says it’s fine and that Spot doesn’t have to pretend to be nice to him. He knows he’s just some kind of charity case and he doesn’t want that.

But Spot assures him that he genuinely likes Race and then proceeds to ask him out. So Race accepts.

They’re dating for almost a month before Race gets a letter telling him he has an audition for his dream school and Race is so excited he literally skateboards through the halls to find Spot and tell him the news, after he tells Jack of course.

Spot offers to help him with some choreography.

Little do they know, someone called to schedule an audition for Race, but Snyder answered their phone, cancelling it.

While Snyder is out of town for the weekend, Race invites Spot over, finding a huge list of chores left there by his foster siblings who are trying to break him and Spot up for Riddle who still believes she can make Spot fall for her again.

Spot stays to help him clean.

After they’re done, Spot asks Race to help him finish a new song he’s writing. He’s definitely writing it for Race.

They hang out and cuddle and do some more in Race’s room. But Riddle gets jealous and devises a plan with Morris and Oscar.

They send Race flowers telling him to meet Spot at his place the next night, only for Race to find that Spot is in his bed with Riddle. Jack had dropped him off, telling him to call him if he needed a ride, but Race insisted he did not.

He doesn’t know that Riddle broke in and woke Spot up. That’s not what it looks like.

He runs home, devastated and angry, not knowing what to do with himself. When he gets home, he finds Snyder waiting for him. He tries to get past but Snyder demands to know where he’d been. Race grumbles something about being happy that he’ll be leaving in a few months to go to college and Snyder smirks, telling him he got a letter that says they rejected him and offered him an audition by mistake.

This just upsets Race more.

He gets into it with Snyder, ending up with a bruise under his left eye and a cut on his forehead.

But he still goes to school the next day. Spot tries to catch up to him, not realizing anything should be wrong. But Race pulls away from him and tells him it’s over, even when Spot tries to ask him where he got the bruises from.

Race just leaves, swearing that he’s done dancing.

So Spot grabs Katherine and rushes to find Jack who shuts both of them out immediately, knowing exactly what happened. But Katherine manages to stop him from shutting and locking the back door to the room he’s in, and that’s when Jack threatens to give Spot a nice shiner. Katherine stops him, but Jack just pulls away from her even when Spot is begging Jack to just tell him what he did wrong.

Jack rolls his eyes and tells him that Race knows he was cheating on him with Riddle and that he broke his little brother’s heart and to get out of his life.

That’s when Katherine explains that Riddle broke into Spot’s house that night and tried to get with him but Spot got her out on threat of calling the cops.

Jack says he’s just as upset as Spot is. He’d finally seen Race happy for the first time in his life, and now he’s stuck with Snyder for another year because Manhattan rejected him.

Spot is confused by this and says that they have to get Race his audition back. But he needs Jack help.

Back at Snyder’s Race is locked in Snyder’s closet again. He’s crying but trying not to because he’s used to the closet by now but he still hates it. Snyder put him in there because he’d mouthed off that morning. He can hear the phone ringing but he can’t answer it.

Eventually, after a couple minutes of sitting outside and trying to call his brother, Jack gives up and breaks into the house, calling for Race because he knows he’s there. Starts calling for him for a minute until Jack literally breaks the door down to get to him.

Race doesn’t move for a minute, saying how much he hates the closet. And Jack just says he knows before he picks Race up and puts him over his shoulder getting him to change before telling him they’re going somewhere to make him feel better.

When they end up Spot’s competition to see who will be a star dancer in his next music video, Race gets irritated and asks Jack to take them somewhere else.

Katherine admits she’s the host that night and has to be there but promises to take Race to get food afterwards. So Race stays.

Him and Jack watch the show together.

Most of it’s really good. But Race gets annoyed watching Riddle dance and gets a standing ovation for sloppy, simple choreography. He has to suffer through Morris and Oscar doing whatever the heck they do. But it’s okay because Katherine flat out calls them horrible and sends them away.

Race has to hide in the back of the stadium as they find Snyder is there watching the show. Jack promises him that he’s not letting Race go back to that house that night. Or any night. Eventually, Katherine jokingly announces the end of the show, before doing a bit of choreography herself and announcing that someone else will be making an appearance.

The entire stadium goes black before the lights come back on to reveal Spot.

Race tries to leave at this, knowing Jack won’t let him. But Spot starts singing the song he’d written for Race only to stop after a moment and say he can’t perform it alone and someone is missing.

That’s when he calls Race onstage.

Race refuses at first, even with Jack’s prompting. But Katherine just steps up on a bench and starts chanting Race’s name with the whole stadium joining in. A spotlight is put on him and he finally agrees and starts to walk forward only for his arm to be grabbed by his guardian who warns him against it. But with Jack standing behind him, Race takes a deep breath and shoves him off, continuing on towards the stage until he takes Spot’s hand and they dance together again.

Race tries to be smug and angry about it at first, but quickly realizes he loves it too much to do that. He let’s Spot give him the floor as he sings and Race dances completely improved, doing impressive tricks and technically correct and appealing moves. It’s not technically a duet as Spot steps aside and only sings while Race dances alone for the majority of the performance. (And he doesn’t need an obvious stunt double to do it for him because he’s Ben Cook).

After he performs, Spot pulls him in for a kiss and hugs him tightly and tells him he never cheated and that he loves him while the judges add up the scores and decide that Race won. Race is stunned by this not even realizing they’d truly put his name in the competition. He is then confronted by Snyder who tries to grab him by the neck and take him home, but Jack and Spot both step in his way before another stranger confronts them, telling Race he moved spectacularly well for someone with two broken legs.

That’s when Race realizes Snyder must’ve cancelled his audition.

The man who is with the academy Race had wanted to get into says he made it, full ride and Race waits until the man leaves to literally cry in relief. Spot catches him before he collapses on the ground.

But Snyder tries to tell him he’s forbidden to go and tries to grab Race again, this time getting a punch in the nose from Jack who just can’t hold back anymore. Snyder falls backwards off the stage, breaking his lower back and ending up in a wheelchair.

Snyder doesn’t press charges because Race threatens to expose how Snyder treated him to the world, inevitably ending up in a courtroom and losing Snyder his job and a lot of his money.

Jack, Kath and Spot all help Race pack the next day. Race stays with Jack and Medda until after he and Jack graduate at the same time and then they all help him move to Manhattan Performing Arts Academy.

Jack and Katherine get married two years later when Jack’s own clothing line takes off and he does eventually become rich off of the profits. Spot proposing to Race after Race graduates from college. All four of them are lifelong friends.

And they all live happily ever after.

For more Mood Boards and AUs, check out my list! And if you’d like to see any scenes from this one, drop me an ask!

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars XXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: This book featured Ron and Harry’s gif nonstop and that’s bc their facial expressions throughout the whole movie were iconic.

Words: 4,105

Warnings: Blood on the walls, mentions of death

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Twenty-One: The Chamber of Secrets.

"I have good news," Professor McGonagall told the students during breakfast one Friday morning.

"Dumbledore's coming back!" Several people yelled joyfully.

"You've caught the Heir of Slytherin!" squealed a girl at the Ravenclaw table.

"Quidditch matches are back on!" roared Wood excitedly.

"Professor Sprout has informed me that the Mandrakes are ready for cutting at last." McGonagall said above the other voices, "Tonight, we will be able to revive those people who have been Petrified. I need hardly remind you all that one of them may well be able to tell us who, or what, attacked them. I am hopeful that this dreadful year will end with our catching the culprit."

"It won't matter that we never asked Myrtle, then!" Ron said cheerfully, they'd been pushing back their talk cause it was impossible to get a moment alone. "Hermione'll probably have all the answers when they wake her up! Mind you, she'll go crazy when she finds out we've got exams in three days' time. She hasn't studied. It might be kinder to leave her where she is till they're over."

Silently and looking quite affected, Ginny sat down next to Ron, throwing nervous glances over her shoulder every five seconds.

"What's up?" asked Ron.

Ginny remained silent, looking for something, someone.

"Spit it out," said Ron, watching her.

"Don't be rude," Mel frowned, turning to Ginny and asking. "Gin?"

"I've got to tell you something," Ginny finally mumbled, avoiding their eyes.

"What is it?" asked Harry.

The girl was struggling, she opened her mouth and closed it again.

"What?" Ron urged.

Harry leaned closer so only them were able to hear.

"Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?"

Ginny made the tiniest nod, and just when she was about to speak...

"If you've finished eating, I'll take that seat, Ginny. I'm starving, I've only just come off patrol duty." Percy said demandingly, appearing out of nowhere.

Ginny jumped and, with wide eyes, stood up and walked away without saying a word.

"Percy!" Ron exclaimed. "She was just about to tell us something important!"

"What sort of thing?" Percy asked, almost spilling his cup of tea on the table.

"I just asked her if she'd seen anything odd, and she started to say-" Percy cut his speech short.

"Oh - that - that's nothing to do with the Chamber of Secrets," He said.

"How do you know?" Ron frowned.

"Well, er, if you must know, Ginny, er, walked in on me the other day when I was - well, never mind - the point is, she spotted me doing something and I, um, I asked her not to mention it to anybody. I must say, I did think she'd keep her word. It's nothing, really, I'd just rather -"

Percy was bright red.

"What were you doing, Percy?" Ron grinned. "Go on, tell us, we won't laugh."

"More than we already are, at least," Mel teased.

Percy wasn't amused.

"Mark my words," Lockhart said, as he guided them to their next class. "The first words out of those poor Petrified people's mouths will be 'It was Hagrid.' Frankly, I'm astounded Professor McGonagall thinks all these security measures are necessary."

Mel was about to snap at him when Harry interrupted her thoughts.

"I agree, sir," He said, Ron dropped his books in surprise.

"Thank you, Harry," said Lockhart, not bothering to help Mel and Ron to pick up his things. "I mean, we teachers have quite enough to be getting on with, without walking students to classes and standing guard all night..."

"That's right," Ron nodded, grabbing the books Mel was handing back to him. "Why don't you leave us here, sir, we've only got one more corridor to go -"

"What are you-?" Harry pinched her arm before she could finish her question.

"You know, Weasley, I think I will," said Lockhart. "I really should go and prepare my next class -"

He rushed back down the corridor.

"Prepare his class," Ron mocked. "Gone to curl his hair, more like."

"What was all that?" Mel raised a brow.

"Don't you want to know what Myrtle has to say about her own attack?"

The curiosity was bigger than her need to get to class. They'd barely moved a few feet away from the hall when McGonagall ran into them.

"What are you doing?"

"We were -we were-" Ron stammered. "We were going to - to go and see -"

"Hermione," Harry said quickly. "We haven't seen her for ages, Professor, and we thought we'd sneak into the hospital wing, you know, and tell her the Mandrakes are nearly ready and, er, not to worry -"

"The truth is," Mel interrupted when she noticed Harry was running out of words, "I've been having the most terrible nightmares, Professor. The boys tried to help but it hasn't been of use, they're doing this so I can see Hermione and... and convince myself that she's going to be fine."

Ten heavy seconds passed before McGonagall spoke again.

"Of course," she said, the tiniest tear threatening to leave the corner of her eye. "Of course, I realize this has all been hardest on the friends of those who have been... I quite understand. Yes, of course, you may visit Miss Granger. I will inform Professor Binns where you've gone. Tell Madam Pomfrey I have given my permission."

They walked away in stunned silence.

"Did we just... managed to trick McGonagall?" Mel asked in amazement.

"That," said Ron proudly, "was the best story you've ever come up with."

Harry and Mel shared a look, grinning.

"We have to make a stop at the hospital wing now, though," Mel said, "otherwise McGonagall will know we lied. That could affect us in the future."

"Future?" Harry smiled. "Are you planning to get into more mischief, Mellow?"

"One can't be too careful," She replied with a small smile.

"Wonder if she did see the attacker, though?" said Ron, looking at Hermione's face. "Because if he sneaked up on them all, no one'll ever know..."

"That's why we're going to ask Myrtle," Mel sighed, pushing some baby hairs away from her friend's face.

She glanced at Harry and noticed he was staring at Hermione's right hand. He leaned closer, examining their friend's fingers.

"All right there, Glasses?"

Harry quietly pointed to something on Hermione's hand. Mel got a closer look and realized there was a piece of paper inside it.

"Get it out," Ron whispered.

Harry struggled trying not to tear it apart. Mel and Ron sat closer to each other so Pomfrey couldn't see what he was doing. Finally, he straightened up with the paper on his hand. It was a torn page from a book, Harry unfolded it and sat next to Mel so the three of them could read it.

'Of the many fearsome beasts and monsters that roam our land, there is none more curious or more deadly than the Basilisk, known also as the King of Serpents. This snake, which may reach gigantic size and live many hundreds of years, is born from a chicken's egg, hatched beneath a toad. Its methods of killing are most wondrous, for aside from its deadly and venomous fangs, the Basilisk has a murderous stare, and all who are fixed with the beam of its eye shall suffer instant death. Spiders flee before the Basilisk, for it is their mortal enemy, and the Basilisk flees only from the crowing of the rooster, which is fatal to it.'

Under the text there was one word written in Hermione's handwriting, it said 'Pipes.'

"This is it," Harry breathed, "This is the answer. The monster in the Chamber's a basilisk - a giant serpent! That why I've been hearing that voice all over the place, and nobody else has heard it. It's because I understand Parseltongue..."

"So it is a giant snake," Mel gulped. "I've never wished to be more wrong in my life."

"The basilisk kills people by looking at them. But no one's died- because no one looked it straight in the eye. Colin saw it through his camera. The basilisk burned up all the film inside it, but Colin just got Petrified. Justin... Justin must've seen the basilisk through Nearly Headless Nick! Nick got the full blast of it, but he couldn't die again... and Hermione and that Ravenclaw prefect were found with a mirror next to them. Hermione had just realized the monster was a basilisk. I bet you anything she warned the first person she met to look around corners with a mirror first! And that girl pulled out her mirror- and-"

"It was right behind them," Mel continued quietly, "because everyone else was outside to watch the match."

"And Mrs. Norris?" Ron asked.

"The water..." Harry said, deep in thought. "The flood from Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I bet you Mrs. Norris only saw the reflection... The crowing of the rooster... is fatal to it! Hagrid's roosters were killed! The Heir of Slytherin didn't want one anywhere near the castle once the Chamber was opened! Spiders flee before it! It all fits!"

"But how's the basilisk been getting around the place?" said Ron. "A giant snake... Someone would've seen..."

Harry and Mel pointed at the word scribbled on the page.

"Pipes," Harry retorted. "Pipes... Ron, it's been using the plumbing. I've been hearing that voice inside the walls..."

"Hermione, you're brilliant!" Mel exclaimed, rereading the paper.

"The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets!" Ron shook Harry's arm. "What if it's a bathroom? What if it's in-"

"Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, "said Harry. "This means, I can't be the only Parselmouth in the school. The Heir of Slytherin's one, too. That's how he's been controlling the basilisk."

"What're we going to do?" said Ron, whose eyes were flashing. "Should we go straight to McGonagall?"

"Yes!" Mel stood up eagerly. "I bet McGonagall will know what to do now, maybe they'll get Dumbledore!"

"Let's go to the staff room," said Harry, standing up as well. "She'll be there in ten minutes. It's nearly break."

They made their way back to the teachers room, but the wait wasn't long before they had another setback.

"All students to return to their House dormitories at once." McGonagall's voice echoed through the walls, "All teachers return to the staff room. Immediately, please."

Harry turned to look at his friends.

"Not another attack? Not now?"

"What'll we do?" said Ron. "Go back to the dormitory?"

"No," Harry looked around and pointed to an old wardrobe. "In here. Let's hear what it's all about. Then we can tell them what we've found out."

"It has happened," she told the silent staff room. "A student has been taken by the monster. Right into the Chamber itself."

Professor Flitwick let out a squeal. Professor Sprout clapped her hands over her mouth. Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and said, "How can you be sure?"

"The Heir of Slytherin," said Professor McGonagall, who was very white, "left another message. Right underneath the first one. 'Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever.'"

Professor Flitwick burst into tears.

"Who is it?" said Madam Hooch, who had sunk, weak-kneed, into a chair. "Which student?"

"Ginny Weasley," said Professor McGonagall.

Ron sat back beside her, Mel gripped his shoulder as her mind drifted somewhere else, refusing to believe Ginny was permanently gone.

"We shall have to send all the students home tomorrow," said Professor McGonagall. "This is the end of Hogwarts. Dumbledore always said..."

The staffroom door banged open again. For one wild moment, Harry was sure it would be Dumbledore. But it was Lockhart, and he was beaming.

"So sorry - dozed off - what have I missed?"

Mel scoffed, Harry nudged her arm to remind her to stay silent so the teachers couldn't tell they were there. Ron was shaking, she knew because she'd kept her hand on him, trying to give some sort of comfort.

"Just the man," Snape said with a nasty smile. "The very man. A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Taken into the Chamber of Secrets itself. Your moment has come at last."

Lockhart's eyes widened.

"That's right, Gilderoy," continued Professor Sprout. "Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?"

"I - well, I -" sputtered Lockhart.

"Yes, didn't you tell me you were sure you knew what was inside it?" added Professor Flitwick.

The teachers seemed to be having a pleasant time torturing Lockhart.

"D-did I? I don't recall -"

"I certainly remember you saying you were sorry you hadn't had a crack at the monster before Hagrid was arrested," said Snape. "Didn't you say that the whole affair had been bungled, and that you should have been given a free rein from the first?"

"I - I really never - you may have misunderstood -"

"We'll leave it to you, then, Gilderoy," said Professor McGonagall. "Tonight will be an excellent time to do it. We'll make sure everyone's out of your way. You'll be able to tackle the monster all by yourself. A free rein at last."

"Looks like the lies finally caught up with him," Mel whispered to Harry, who just nodded in agreement.

"V-very well," he said. "I'll - I'll be in my office, getting... getting ready." He left in a hurry.

"Right," said McGonagall, "that's got him out from under our feet. The Heads of Houses should go and inform their students what has happened. Tell them the Hogwarts Express will take them home first thing tomorrow. Will the rest of you please make sure no students have been left outside their dormitories."

An hour after the news spread, Mel was sitting next to Ron, his brothers, and Harry, with no words of comfort. The only thing she'd been able to do as soon as she saw the twins was hug them and mumble some apologies for the time she'd spent not speaking to them, she considered that the whole affair had been silly and lacked importance, now any of that mattered.

They didn't talk much, no one had the spirit to chat about anything with Ginny's disappearance hanging above them like a ghost, Mel's head hurt because of the stress, she wanted to do something- more yet, she could do something- the three of them could, they knew the answer, then what were they waiting for?

"She knew something," said Ron after the twins left the common to go to bed, even though it was barely seven o'clock. "That's why she was taken. It wasn't some stupid thing about Percy at all, she'd found out something about the Chamber of Secrets. That must be why she was-" Ron stopped short, he rubbed his eyes harshly. When he talked again his voice sounded hoarse, "I mean, she was a pureblood. There can't be any other reason."

Harry didn't reply, he was just as affected.

They could do something, they knew.

"Guys," said Ron. "D'you think there's any chance at all she's not- you know..."

Harry remained silent. However, Mel stood up again, she'd finally made up her mind.

"We must tell them," She demanded, "we know where the chamber is, and we know what the monster is," She took a deep breath, "that gives us an advantage, and whether Ginny is... or not, at least we have a chance to... to bring her back."

She was hoping that maybe, if they were lucky enough, Ginny could still be alive- perhaps a little injured, but alive. Ron was the first to agree.

"D'you know what?" He said. "I think you're right. We should go and see Lockhart. Tell him what we know. He's going to try and get into the Chamber. We can tell him where we think it is, and tell him it's a basilisk in there."

No one tried to stop them, perhaps because they were too sad and miserable to start any arguments, or maybe they could see Mel's decided expression as they crossed the common room, knowing no one would be capable to stop her. They made their way to Lockhart's office and he opened the door only a little, he looked disheveled and exhausted.

"Oh - Mr. Potter - Mr. Weasley- Miss Dumbledore," He stammered. "I'm rather busy at the moment - if you would be quick -"

"Professor, we've got some information for you," said Harry. "We think it'll help you."

"Er - well - it's not terribly -" Lockhart's face got redder with every word. "I mean - well all right -"

He opened the door, as they entered, he'd been packing and putting all his things in order, running away.

"Are you going somewhere?" asked Harry, guessing what was going on.

"Er, well, yes," said Lockhart. "Urgent call - unavoidable - got to go -"

"What about my sister?" Ron asked in outrage.

"Well, as to that - most unfortunate -" said Lockhart, avoiding their eyes as he wrenched open a drawer and started emptying the contents into a bag. "No one regrets more than I -"

"You're the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!" said Harry. "You can't go now! Not with all the Dark stuff going on here!"

"Well - I must say - when I took the job -" Lockhart muttered, now piling socks on top of his robes. "nothing in the job description - didn't expect -"

"You mean you're running away?" said Harry disbelievingly. "After all that stuff you did in your books -"

"Books can be misleading," said Lockhart delicately.

"You wrote them!" Harry shouted.

"My dear boy," said Lockhart, straightening up and frowning at Harry. "Do use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think Id done all those things. No one wants to read about some ugly old Armenian warlock, even if he did save a village from werewolves. He'd look dreadful on the front cover. No dress sense at all. And the witch who banished the Bandon Banshee had a harelip. I mean, come on -"

"So you've just been taking credit for what a load of other people have done?" said Harry incredulously.

"Harry, Harry," said Lockhart, shaking his head impatiently, "it's not nearly as simple as that. There was work involved. I had to track these people down. Ask them exactly how they managed to do what they did. Then I had to put a Memory Charm on them so they wouldn't remember doing it. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my Memory Charms. No, it's been a lot of work, Harry. It's not all book signings and publicity photos, you know. You want fame, you have to be prepared for a long hard slog."

He banged the lids of his trunks shut and locked them.

"Let's see," he said. "I think that's everything. Yes. Only one thing left."

He pulled out his wand and turned to them.

"Awfully sorry, but I'll have to put a Memory Charm on you now. Can't have you blabbing my secrets all over the place. Id never sell another book -"

"You shouldn't sell another book!" Mel snapped, "You hideous, horrible man! You're useless! We have a way to save Ron's sister and you don't care at all!"

She was terribly angry, so angry that she started to shake.

Only that the trunks did as well, and the furniture moved heavily as if trying to match the rest, the room had a sudden boost of energy that cornered Lockhart against the desk, he looked around with wide eyes, reminding her of Quirrel the time she'd throw him across the room by accident. It relieved a bit of her anger to know that the man was afraid.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry had gotten a hold of his wand and was pointing it to Lockhart, the teacher's wand flew towards him and Ron caught it, throwing it out the window.

The trunks and furniture stopped moving, her breathing slowed down. Lockhart laid on the ground, utterly terrified. Mel was pointing directly at his chest as a safety measurement, she didn't know any harmful spells, but Lockhart didn't know that.

"Shouldn't have let Professor Snape teach us that one," said Harry furiously, kicking Lockhart's trunk aside. Lockhart was looking up at him, feeble once more. Harry was still pointing his wand at him.

"What d'you want me to do?" said Lockhart weakly. "I don't know where the Chamber of Secrets is. There's nothing I can do."

"You're in luck," said Harry, forcing Lockhart to his feet at wandpoint. "We think we know where it is. And what's inside it. Let's go."

They took the teacher to the girls' toilet and made him go in first, Myrtle received them with the same excitement as usual.

"Oh, it's you," She said. "What do you want this time?"

"To ask you how you died," Harry replied.

Mel stood near the door with her wand ready, in case Lockhart tried to escape.

"Ooooh, it was dreadful," Myrtle answered, though she'd never looked happier. "It happened right in here. I died in this very stall. I remember it so well. I'd hidden because Olive Hornby was teasing me about my glasses. The door was locked, and I was crying, and then I heard somebody come in. They said something funny. A different language, I think it must have been. Anyway, what really got me was that it was a boy speaking. So I unlocked the door, to tell him to go and use his own toilet, and then- I died."

"That's it?" Mel frowned.

"How?" said Harry.

"No idea," said Myrtle. "I just remember seeing a pair of great, big, yellow eyes. My whole body sort of seized up, and then I was floating away... And then I came back again. I was determined to haunt Olive Hornby, you see. Oh, she was sorry she'd ever laughed at my glasses."

"Where exactly did you see the eyes?" said Harry.

"Somewhere there," Myrtle pointed toward the sink in front of her toilet.

Ron and Harry rushed over to the sink, Lockhart stepped back and turned, but he found Mel standing on the door and glaring at him. He gulped and went back to the center of the room, shaking like a little puppy.

"That tap's never worked," said Myrtle brightly as the kids approached it.

"Harry," said Ron. "Say something. Something in Parseltongue."

"But -" Harry tilted his head, he was watching something on the edge of the tap. "Open up."

He looked back at Ron, who shook his head.

"English."

Harry stared intently at the sink, it was quite an odd scene to be looking at. When he spoke again, it was that same strange hissing sound he'd made during the dueling club. It happened immediately, the tap sank on the ground and revealed a large pipe, they could fit in it properly. That was it, the entrance to the chamber of secrets.

"I'm going down there," Harry said.

"Me too," said Ron and Mel in unison.

"Well, you hardly seem to need me," said Lockhart, slightly more cheerful than moments ago. "I'll just -"

"Professor," Mel frowned, "you're not leaving."

"You can go first," Ron offered.

"Kids," he said, his voice feeble. "Kids, what good will it do?"

But he'd approached the pipe, and it was looking at it reluctantly.

Harry pocked him in the back with his wand. Lockhart sat on the ground and hung his legs over the pipe entrance.

"You'll do a great job, don't worry," Mel walked up to him with a smile, "if the monster is hungry we'll just feed it with you and it'll leave us alone... See? Isn't that a brilliant idea? Guess I'm not so short-minded."

Lockhart blushed a deep shade of red.

"I really don't think -" He started, but Ron pushed him over the edge. He vanished.

Both boys looked at her.

"That was a bit hard, you know?" Ron mentioned. "We won't actually offer him to the basilisk as lunch, are we?"

"Of course we won't," Mel replied, "but he really shouldn't have called me stupid during the year. I'm not stupid."

Harry lowered himself into the pipe, then he let go.

"Are we ever going to have a normal term?" She asked as Ron slid into the pipe entrance.

"Let's just hope we survive this one, then we worry about the rest," He replied before vanishing into the darkness.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@tiphareth2018 @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @celestialhayi @mikariell95 @omiwashere @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @tomshollandz​ @steve-thotgers​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @reverse-hxlland​

[jimlingss]

Thank you, everyone, for your words of encouragement. In this short amount of time, I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed with messages of support. I want to reassure you all that I’m by no means as hurt as some of you think, or at least not after so much kindness. I’ve always encouraged all kinds of feedback!! From compliments to constructive criticism. And I’m (supposedly) an Adult™, so I can definitely take someone’s opinion.

Regardless, thank you to everyone who reached out to me. I want to respond to each and everyone of you under this post so I don’t flood other people’s dashes.

Anonymous said: about the anon who said your fics lack emotion, hmm i wouldn't quite agree tbh, i remember reading tears of a villian and deadass crying, it hurt me so much!! also, in "fall in hatred" their feeling are so well portrayed and i could understand why they acted a certain way! to conlclude, there is always some space for constructive criticism but your stories, are to me, something very attentively built and created, it's apparent that you completely enjoy writing, I can feel your enthusiasm!!

--to that anon; pls don't get this wrong way but it's just the way I see it and I've read quite a lot till now

nah deadass crying isn’t good enough anymore, anon. You have to be keening and violently sobbing until you’re brought into the ER for my fics to be considered to have emotion. lol I’m only kidding, thank you for the message.

peachiest-hun said: To that anon who said your work lacked emotions, I beg to differ! I have read Jungle Park so many times I know at exactly which chapter when the heavy angst starts happening and I read those parts when I just want to have a good cry (I still cry every. single. time)! Also Head Over Heels to Hell, The Colour of Our Voices, Love So Shallow (because I so relate with OC), and many more have given me the FEELS (happy and sad ones). 1/2

So what I'm trying to say is that Jimlingss is doing a great job in her craft. She does deliver emotions in her work and the reason I love it so much is that it's SUBTLE and not completely in your face. Sometimes emotions that are subtle and they hit you slowly, but powerfully it hurts even more for me. On another note, I'm loving Sugar and Coffee. In times of darkness which are often these days, I have something to look forward to every week to keep me motivated. So thank you Jimlinggs! 2./2

Istg Jungle Park is one of the most unexpectedly beloved fics on my blog but I love it hahaha I can’t believe you’ve read it to the point of knowing what chapter is what though. that’s an honour. There’s definitely stories of mine that are less subtle than others, but I’m glad that you enjoy the latter of them too :’) Thank you.

Anonymous said: This is my first time ever leaving a message on someone’s tumblr, but I just felt that I HAD to after reading that anon’s comment about your stories lacking emotion. I wholly disagree (in the nicest way possible, not throwing any shade at anyone). I’ve read all of your fics (for the past two years) and I look forward to when you release new material (the highlight of my Mondays right now after I come home from working at a clinic). Your stories have really lifted my mood during this pandemics an

Anonymous said: Sorry for that long tangent. Don’t even know if I made sense. You don’t have to respond to any of this, but you deserve to hear some positive words as well.

Oh my god. Did I just take your tumblr-message virginity? asdfghjkl I’m kidding. but thank you for reaching out to me. I can’t believe you’ve been around for such a long time and that I’m a part of your Monday routine :’) 

Anonymous said: OK that ask about "constructive criticism" was def imo RUDE. You don't just anonymously go into someone's asks and bluntly tell an author that their fics "lack emotion". That is not the way to encourage someone to improve and continue to work hard. That's just flat out mean. That person clearly doesn't care about your feelings or the fact that you write and share your stories for FREE for us to enjoy. I love your stories and appreciate what you've shared with us. Thank you for your hard work ❤️

I like to give the benefit of the doubt to anons and anyone sending me a message online in general. God knows there were times I meant well but it was received wrongly. But anyway, my mind was more boggled than I was hurt, that’s one thing for sure.

joonie-mono said: + it was called love so shallow which genuinely made me see myself in a character, but my point was that your writing has a specific feel to it, it's made me laugh and cry (His Name personally killed me :] ) and that's my opinion. You and your writing are amazing and I'm sorry but that anon was just so wrong.

oof bringing out the evidence. be my attorney please.

Anonymous said: As someone who has read your entire masterlist (and going through it again) i will have to wholeheartedly disagree with that anon. The way you portray SO many emotions in your fics is *chefs kiss* and I honestly thought that the ones that “lack emotion” were meant to be that way, with an open ending, the idea that their love just started, soo.... yeah, I’ll have to disagree.

There are definitely stories of mine that are a bit looser on romance. Such as Kitchen Romance, The President’s Son, The Heiress’ Son, Arcadia, etc. But I have a loooot of fics that are quite emphasized in either despair/sadness or cute fluff.

ladyartemesia said: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am here to disrespectfully disagree with anon who probably doesn’t write effing ANYTHING and has no idea what it takes to produce the content you do. I have followed for months and I’m still not through your masterlist BECAUSE reading your stories is a bloomin EMOTIONAL EVENT. When I read Brass and Strings, I LOST A WHOLE DAY. Like I was so into it, my DAY was gone. Anon is prolly salty there isn’t more smut I guess. That’s whatever for them. (Part 1)

It’s subtle, deep, meaningful, and incredible and you’re one of my favorite authors. I can’t FOR A SECOND let that comment go cause it’s RIDICULOUS. You’re literally so gifted. You don’t need to change a thing. Every artist, no matter their medium, should continue to improve. So in that sense I wish you all the growth in the world as you work towards the perfection of your craft. BUT SERIOUSLY you’re an incredible writer. That anon is loony. I’m so sorry you had to even read those crazy words.

As I answer these messages, it’s starting to feel like I’m the third party mediator of a dispute and all y’all are just HAMMERING it to this anon, LOL. I’m not sure if the anon is necessarily requesting for more smut but if they are, they might be happy this Friday (*COUGH spoiler for those actually reading my responses)

Anyway, you’re too kind. thank you. I am definitely not as hurt as I was earlier.

((and tbh you’re hilarious, you’re actually making me laugh irl))

krystle1990 said: Woah!! Ok first that Anon is absolutely crazy. I literally stalk your page for new work being put out! I probably blow up your notifications daily. I've never been disappointed in any of your work. You always give a heads up if it will take time for the characters to realize their feelings which I absolutely love. It always leaves me ready for the next part and I am glued to my phone with every update. You're amazing and I can't wait to see how you grow with your work. 💜😘

ASDFGHJKL PLEASEEE if it’s someone who’s worried about blowing up notifications, it’s me. To those who have notifications on I sincerely can’t fathom how often I blow up people’s phones. I digress, I always give out warnings to keep people patient since I know slow burn can be excruciating haha thank you for the message.

kigurumu said: Also just want to add that saying you have good intentions or "don't mean to be mean" does not cancel out whatever offensive thing you just said. IT WILL STILL RUDE. Not saying all negative feedback is bad. Criticism can be hard to take no matter how it's phrased, but telling a writer to be more like another writer is like telling them their style isn't good enough which is NOT helpful. Your writing is your own. If the anon wants to read fics that are like gukyi's, they can read gukyi's fics 🙄

Also I've been waiting until Sugar and Coffee is done so I can binge it all at once but avoiding spoilers from all the asks is so hard haha! I keep seeing all these good things about it and I'm SO tempted to just read it now but I've already waited this long so I don't wanna give up kfnrjrofvjskdh guess I'll reread your other fics in the meantime

The message was fine on its own but I think dragging in another writer at the end was definitely not ok. When will comparing writers end. But regardless, gukyi and I are cool with one another - i mean we wrote 100k together so it’s gonna have to take a reverse Zuko arc for us to be on bad terms lol

Anyway, oooh you’re one of those bingers. Can’t say I blame you cause I love binging myself, so it’s understandable for readers to wait till the series is over. and since you were so kind in following up your original message with two more and expressing so much appreciation for me :’), I’ll let you know that the finale of Sugar and Coffee will be posted by July 20th! by then, the entire series will be completed. 

Anonymous said: Tbh i think that neither you nor that anon is wrong. Some people like it more romanticised and cheesy, some people dont. I believe that your stories are more on the realistic side of life. People (whom your characters represent) cant always be cheesy and passionate for love, there are other things in life! Maybe you're just the type who's too realistic for any hopeless romantic things like i am and it's fine. Not all writers can write dramatic romance

Tbh, I agree. It’s a matter of opinion and there’s no one wrong in the fight of opinions. As I’ve said many times on my blog, the cringe factor varies between person to person. What someone might think is fluffy is absolutely cringey to another. What someone might think is a good amount of fluff is not enough for someone else. I’ve written a lot. And I’ve made sure to add lots of variations between the amount of romance in my stories. Indeed, some are definitely more subtle and “realistic” while others are completely cheesy and makes me gag from the amount of sugar in it lol I just think the anon should take a look at more of my stories before coming up with such a conclusive opinion.

Anonymous said: I’ve been reading your fics for over a year now and religiously follow updates every week. Why? Because they make me feel something whether it be joy from fluff or grief from angst. I’ll remember a story of yours months after I first read it and return to it just to feel those emotions again. I understand that emotional responses are usually subjective but I think that anon needs to read your works again, because they sure are missing out.

I replied to that anon that they should check out more of my fics and then come back to tell me if they haven’t changed their minds, so I don’t know if they’re missing out or not lol

I don’t expect my stories to elicit emotional responses or fanatic feedback for everyone. God knows there’s been other people’s writing styles that just didn’t resonate with me no matter how hard I tried to read their stories. But all I ask is that people try. It’s fine if you give up halfway but at least try reading. That’s fair to ask, right?