#wait til my brain forms the words.... u just wait..........

[mickie86]

🚢 / @blcdlust

bold all that definitely applies, italicize what could potentially apply. feel free to add more if you think certain options are missing or you just want to add more.

do i ship our characters together?: immediate yes (those memes have me fucking feral for them oops) | no | not yet but maybe soon| right now

would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

type of relationship i could see: childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love | fling | long distance | online relationship | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits

tropes i'd enjoy writing for them: friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between (i wanna jump right in and plot details out!!! i wanna throw 3am headcanons at you and chat about them but i also want the threads right fucking now)

what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter | i'll be responding to your meme responses asap my dear <3

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits: i'm super chill with shipping but i also love to build on things!! i love to throw around random vague ideas and create something bigger and better together, i love the kind of ships that contribute to character development (and verse development bc i need to develop mickie's vamp verse moreee). otherwise, i'm just super stoked to throw these two together and see how they click!! get ready for mickie to match that freak energy <3

[nyarumie]

yahoo~ can i get a uh big m narumi shamelessly pining over the second division's vice captain? 🤤 like i think it would be funny to read narumi repeatedly asking reader to just transfer to the first during meetings so he'll be able to admire her better and at the same time he's like dissing jura everytime he does it would be funny i think

Summary: With the nation's safety at risk, joint trainings are expected across Divisions. Narumi Gen, as the Captain of the First Divison, aims to make his very own division grow in strength—only by pestering you, the Second Division's Vice Captain, to transfer to their Division, of course.

Author's Reply: We have very little info about Jura's personality (except her being kinda temperal, I think?) so it was a bit of a struggle writing her interactions with Narumi 😭

Author's Note: I'll be taking a short break from writing oneshots so I can continue writing my Brains to Brawn Narumi series—but requests are open! I'll get back to them after writing Chapter 3.

Requests and messages are welcome on my ask box! Please view my navigation too ♡ Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

For the third round of joint exercises, the Second Division is expected to host Officers from both the First and Third Division. As Jura Igarashi's second-in-command, you are tasked to oversee the training held in your base, taking into consideration the fighting styles honed by each participating division. That said, the meeting for the third round of joint exercises was supposed to start roughly 30 minutes ago, if it weren't for the commotion just outside the conference room.

"Let me in! I SAID LET ME IN! Do you not know who I am?!"

Everyone who can hear the commotion sighed, knowing all too well whose voice and antics it belonged to.

"S-sir, protocol says that only verified attendees have permission to enter—"

"Are you saying I'm not allowed inside?!? I'm the Captain of THE strongest Division, y'know! Hasegawa, my Vice Captain, is inside! It doesn't make sense that his Captain is off-limits here!!"

You looked at Hasegawa, who was seating across from you; raising your eyebrow as if to silently say, 'What are you gonna do with him?'

He only shook his head in defeat, knowing that Captain Narumi won't stop 'til he gets what he wants. Sighing, you stood up, deciding to deal with this yourself.

Narumi was still making a fuss by the time you opened the door, the two officers guarding it moving to the side to give you a proper salute. He was already on his knees, still muttering his pleas, unaware that you had stepped out to deal with him.

Sighing again, you knelt to meet his level. Waving your hand in front of him, you said, "...Captain, are you still there? If you have something you oh-so-desperately want to share in the conference, you're more than welcome to join us." albeit, against everyone's wishes.

His head snapped to meet your eyes so fast you thought it would detach from his neck. Looking at you with wide, bloodshot eyes, his mood significantly improved. Ah, is he seeing his savior, an angel sent from above?

"Under one condition, though," you continued, "Please don't make any ruckus inside. No gaming either. Speak only when you're permitted to by Captain Igarashi. Would that suffice?"

He nodded eagerly, no words forming in his mouth; he already thinks he's ascending to heaven just by seeing you. Or so he thought.

Aside from being denied the privilege to sit across you by Hasegawa, he can't stand hearing these people talk nonsense! He was expecting you to take charge of the meeting, why haven't you spoken a word?! His ears are at high alert every second that passes in case you speak—waiting and waiting to hear your voice once more. And why is Hoshina representing their division again?! He's starting to get agitated, leg bouncing impatiently and a finger continuously tapping the table, gradually getting louder.

Beside you is Captain Igarashi, who was slowly getting triggered by the noise. This didn't went unnoticed by you, of course, and she was already getting up to give Narumi an earful before you can even stop her.

"Oi, you're being a distraction! Stop doing that, you're not a kid!"

Naturally, the First Division Captain is triggered by this. "Are you calling me a kid, meathead?! You lashed out on me first, who's a kid now, huh?!? Sit your ass back down, you should be grateful to be graced by my presence!"

"And your presence is unwelcomed in our base! I'll report you for trespassing!"

"Oh yeah, oh yeah? I'll have your entire Division begging on my knees after hearing our very own proposal! Did'ya think I came here unprepared?!"

"My division, begging? Not in a million years! The second division yields to no one!"

You pulled your Captain by her sleeve to sit her back down and cleared your throat. "Ahem. I apologize for the commotion—please continue from where we left off."

Hoshina playfully grinned, "No need for that! I was able to cover everythin' Captain Ashiro asked me to relay to ya. You have more pressing matters to attend to, yes? Such as that twerp who's been starin' intently into yer head for the past hour, fellow Vice Cap."

Ah, yes—Captain Narumi did nothing but stare at you for the whole duration of the meeting. You were acting indifferent, but you just wanted to see how long he'll keep his word and act accordingly. "Very well, then. Captain Narumi, you mentioned a proposal from your division. Shall we hear it out?"

Oh. You were finally addressing him. He's beyond ecstatic; his anger is gone in an instant.

He uncharacteristically sat up properly, a mix of seriousness and smugness exuding from him. Taking this opportunity, he made eye contact with you, not once diverting his eyes elsewhere. (Hasegawa, however, seems uneasy. Was he not informed of any proposals?)

"That's right. It goes without saying, but the First Division is an elite division—the strongest of our forces. The stronger our forces get, the stronger I myself become. As Japan's Strongest Anti-Kaiju Combatant, I'm in need of an even greater source of strength..."

It all happened too fast — In a blink of an eye, Captain Narumi was now kneeling before you. Taking both of your hands in his, he declared, "YOU HAVE TO MOVE TO MY DIVISION! I promise I'll give you perks better than this meathead Captain of yours gives you, I'll grow incredibly stronger with you around and you don't have to worry about working overtime because we can just play BS5 together—"

SMACK!

You hear Hoshina laughing so hard he can't breathe as you looked over to see Hasegawa hitting Narumi's head with a rather thick stack of papers, lifting him as if he's a cat. "That's enough. I aplogize for his brash behavior, Vice Captain."

"NO! Hasegawa, put me down! I'm not done saying my proposal! Listen to me, I'm your Captain!!"

Jura, who was watching this transpire with controlled anger, got fueled up again. "Two-toned head! The next time you dare step in our turf, You'll be seeing your very own wanted posters!!"

This isn't supposed to be anything new to you, definitely not — it's not the first time Captain Narumi asked you to transfer to the First. But you were taken aback with how fast everything happened, you were basically unable to speak.

"Uh... I appreciate the offer?"

Hasegawa dropped Narumi back in his seat, appearing like a small dejected kitty. His vice captain offered an apology once more, asking to proceed with the meeting.

It didn't go unnoticed to you how unusually down Narumi is afterwards, though. Was he really upset this time?

After wrapping up the meeting, you stayed behind to organize the reports given by each division. A stack of paper slipped from your grasp, and before you can even pick them up, a figure gathered them surprisingly fast.

"Captain... Narumi? Shouldn't you go back to your base?"

He spoke softly, "Did you keep it? The Yamazon boxes I sent your way. It's full of stuff you might like."

Ah. The last time he asked you to transfer, he barged in with a handful of Yamazon boxes, full of things that you fancy. Recalling the contents, it was packed with new editions of books you loved reading, cute blind boxes figurines, an entire collection of hundred pieces jigsaw puzzle, raccoon plushies, and a lot more. He follows you on social media, and you always repost whatever catches your interests.

"Of course I did! I bought myself a brand new bookshelf to keep the books and store the puzzles' boxes, and decorated them using the figurines from the blind boxes and raccoon plushies!" You smiled, sharing what you did with each of them. Pulling out your phone, you showed him a photo of your cute little arrangement. "Here, I was satisfied with the outcome, it's my favorite part of my office."

He was staring intently at the photo, taking time to admire your arrangement. The little raccoon keychain dangling from your phone didn't escape his attention either. "I never got to formally give you my gratitude, but please know I'm beyond thankful for these."

Narumi has been looking at your phone for a solid few minutes now, concern taking over your features.

"Captain?"

He gently held the wrist holding your phone and looked at you, "I really, really like you a lot, y'know."

You feel your heart skip a beat, face suddenly warming. He's really full of surprises, the softness and sincerity in his tone evident.

"I mean it when I said I need you in the First Division. Think it over, please?"

Were you imagining things, or has he really been this close to you since a moment ago? Despite how a bit flustered you've been, you refused to get swayed by anything, as you already have a duty you swore to uphold.

"Captain Narumi, please listen—it's not that I'm against your division, it's just that I already have a duty I've yet to fulfill here. Now isn't the right time for me to leave this place." you said with determination.

He pouted, understanding that being with you isn't gonna be as easy he as he wants. He was about to speak when you held up your phone in his face again.

"However, I can compromise. If you want to see me that badly, save your number here and give me a call whenever, wherever." you said, turning your face away from him.

Hearing this instantly lit him up, wasting no time grabbing your phone and entering his number. He dramatically cleared his throat, newfound determination firing him up. "Fine, I'll accept. But just so you know! I'm not giving up on your transfer." he said, smugly crossing his arms.

Giving him one last smile before you part ways, you point at his phone and said, "I'll be looking forward to working with you in the future, Captain Narumi."

Curiously, he opened his contacts to see your number saved, followed with a "Future Right-hand Woman" next to your name.

Oh, he's definitely gonna mess with Jura harder than before.

[b1mbodoll]

also been thinking abt yunjin 💭💭💭 shes so pretty she probably looks even prettier when giving head T_____T groaning into your pussy bcs u taste sooo good and all this talk about being milked is making me lose my mind a lil !!! cause she would (tell me if this is not a okay subject for you!!!!!!!!!!) LOVE sucking on your pregnancy tiddies and tasting all your breast milk while she strokes her (g!p) thinking abt how she just wants to get you pregnant again and again if you'll keep producing such good milk for her ♡ probably cums on your pussy and eats you out again so you'll be "cleaned up" <333333

love 🎀 anonie!

pairings: huh yunjin x f! reader

warnings: oral + g!p + creampies + breeding + overstimulation + pregnancy + lactation

💌: god nonie i love u to pieces ur brain words fucking wonders this is my fave thing ever aghh im gonna kissyou

“stop squirming, princess.” yunjin’s voice is distant. she’s fucked you with her tongue to the point where it dont even feel like you’re in your body anymore, and it has you convinced your girlfriend’s tongue is a gateway to heaven.

“god, you taste good.” she hums, curling her fingers inside of you, making you lurch forward as a high pitched whine is ripped from you, clit throbbing from the overstimulation.

she pulls her drenched fingers from your hole before aligning her length with your entrance, using the moisture as lube to jerk her stiff cock at a sloppy pace just outside of your cunt, too desperate to maintain a steady one.

“‘m gonna knock you up.” she promises, sliding just the thick head of her dick inside as one of her hands palms your tit, pulling at your sensitive nipple. the pain makes you jolt, pussy trying to suck her in while you grab at her wrist in an attempt to stop the assault on your breasts.

“yunjin — hah — stop..hurts” you whined, already close to cumming. you both know that you don’t want her to stop and not bothering to use your safeword is enough of a reason for her to continue, pushes her dick inside with one thrust, the tightness too much for her to bear. “i know it hurts baby, but you like it, yeah? you’re a nasty little thing that’s why you like when i hurt you n use you like a fucktoy, right baby?”

there was something so sexy about yunjin’s dirty talk. maybe it was because your girlfriend is usually such a sweetheart but the second she’s balls deep in your cunt she can’t help her mean words and even meaner actions.

the pleasure is mindnumbing, making you unable to focus on anything but her dick fucking into you, the thick veins look delicious covered in your cream and you can’t look away, your mouth hanging open as you focus on her cock disappearing inside your stretched pussy.

“look at you, angel” she tells you, “look so pretty f’me bet you’ll look even better carryin’ my kid.” yunjin moans at the thought, pressing deeper inside, her only goal to fuck a baby into you. “can’t wait til your tits fill up with my milk, need to taste it so bad.” her eyes have rolled into the back of her skull now, mindless groans escaping her every now and then.

“give it to me” you were delirious, too fucked out to process the words as they left your mouth. “gimme a baby, yunjin, need it so bad. wanna make you a mommy ‘nd have you milk me,” her thrusts speed up, becoming harsh and uncoordinated. “you’ll help me right, yunie?” you’re such a goddamn tease it makes her want to wipe the faux pout off your lips.

“yeah baby, i’ll help. gonna milk you like a fucking cow ‘nd plug you full of cum like my breeding bitch.” she snarks, her balls slapping your ass with every push of her hips.

whines and mewls are your only response, too cockdrunk to form a coherent sentence as you approach your orgasm.

your walls clamp around her dick in a vice grip as you cream around her and the sensation is enough to make her blow her load, bucking her hips haphazardly as she empties her balls deep inside.

“good girl, good fuckin’ girl” she moans, the praise combined with the thick ropes spilling inside makes you squeal, wrapping your legs around her to keep every drop of cum inside, neither of you wanting to waste her potent seed.

even after filling you up yunjin is insatiable, continues to slowly grind her hips into yours as she kisses you softly.

she won’t be done until she’s shooting blanks or passes out, whichever happens first.

[le-souriant]

#MusicMonday Review - October 2022

#MusicMonday is the hashtag I've been using for quite a while to share music recommendations from up-and-coming artists. Always fresh, and always different, trying to look for trends before they become one. You can check September's review for more music.

This month's music will take you to a journey to the dark side of matters. Regardless of genres, prepare yourself for a brilliantly apprehensive good time. Let's have a listen, with a word from the artists themselves. 🎧

Teen Angst – Kissless Virgin

There’s a lot I’ve done I’ve lost, drawn and I’ve won But only by myself Never with anyone else

A dirty kind of pure Just waiting at the door I’ve been close for sure But I’ve never been kissed before

Cause I want to feel right For once in my damn life

Yes, Antisocial-pop is a real genre, and this band from Perth, Western Australia, shows us how does it feels like. Doesn’t it feel nice?:

"The phrase Kissless Virgin was used by a friend of mine to describe a Dungeons and Dragons character he was playing, and it immediately stuck in my brain as an interesting title for a song.

I already had the rough idea for the music of the song but the only lyric I had at that point was the refrain “What does it feel like?”. Once I had the new title of ‘Kissless Virgin’ I was inspired to finish the lyrics.

The lyrics explore the theme of feeling a yearning or regret about missing out on life experiences out of fear or anxiety."

Spirits of Leo – Asylum

Ash in hearth, I seek your shelter Storming, rushing, bounding, assailing me Entering my spine and crawling out my palms The spirit is now ascending me Commanding motion

From New York City, NY, get ready for a Shoegaze track as it should be: somber, yet energetic. Don’t fight, nothing ever comes if you won’t believe it:

"The song Asylum is about anxiety, obsessions/compulsions, and intrusive thoughts.

Essentially, the song is about finding safety and shelter from oneself, or specifically, one's inner demons.

It started out as a composite of meanings in relation to feelings of anxiety, but ultimately the song formed as a personification of inner demons."

Desert of Talking Shadows – Empty Hearts

You cannot hide So darling don’t try You wrap yourself around a heartbeat or a pulse, you call that love? I wouldn’t know I’ll love myself one day, but til then, I’ll just let you do it for me Til you run out of it yourself

Switching gears, have a listen to a Rock track from Orange County, CA that takes elements from 70s bluesy attitude to ask the question broken hearts have:

"This song was inspired by a person and a specific experience I had in a past relationship, I don’t like to get into details as it’s best for the listener to interpret it how they like.

The track itself is inspired by Arctic Monkeys “R U Mine?” “Pretty Visitors”, and Royal Blood “How Did We Get So Dark?”"

Machine On A Break – Things That Go Bump

Be afraid, even be angry, but be careful not to hate, because blame is such a dangerous game, and there will never be a change if no one is listening.

From Sydney, Australia, this Alt Metal track combines the anger and frustration from the inequities that exist with the pain of possible inaction:

"I wrote it one night when I was angry after a conversation with someone. They'd been saying it's my responsibility to stay safe from the bad people in the world and I didn't think that was fair. We tell women to cover up and not go out at night by themselves but we should really be teaching people not to be creeps."

Bad Sidekick – Daily Lottery

I'm starting to feel like my life's on a runway and you're all invited

We finish off this month's ride in Bristol, UK for an impressive mix of gritty hooks, relentless beats, and uneasy vocals that will leave you breathless, but asking for more:

"I have an auto immune disorder and wrote the track about my experience with being in physical pain and what that meant for my future life and day to day living :)"

Listen to them and much more on the Playlist

@osornios

[lostmykeysie]

keysie i spent the last two days reading the hocrux hunt instead of doing the logical thing and studying for my very strenuous finals, all while avoiding the general shit state of our shit world, and it was completely worth it, 10/10 experience, chimaera will be a part of me from now to eternity, i love your brain etc. etc. in lieu of mentioning all the parts i enjoyed, because that would make for a pretty long ask, i'll just say that i laughed my ASS off at every. single. summary. like we're talking ugly cackling, falling off my chair laughing. so i'm done with the 2nd epilogue, alright, all happy for remus and his black clan, completely prepared to resume studying then BAM. there's a part 2. and the first chapter leaves me physically unable to do anything else other than think (obsessively) about it. so, yeah. consider me subscribed in both physical (ao3) and mental (re: obsessive thoughts) form. can't wait to see how the story will go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BABE HELLO HOW WERE YOUR FINALS????? were they okay??? i hope they were ok xxxxx i have not had the stress of education for about eight years now and i have to tell you i do not miss it!!!!!!!! last night i helped my sister with her thesis and babe there were TEARS there was storming off there was me trying to talk her through a meltdown, imbibing wine at too fast a rate, writing her abstract for her even though i don’t even know what that means, reviewing her literature review which i genuinely don’t understand what that is, having to cut 200 words with 4 mins left til deadline, submitting literally 90 seconds before oh my GOD it was awful and it wasn’t even ME

so basically well done babe !!!!!

HAHAHHAA I wish i could remember who told me start doing summaries because it was a great idea because we do need a lil refresh of the plot and you know what i really do enjoy being unhinged and stupid in the summaries xxxxxxxxxx a giggle a day keeps the depression away xxx well it doesn’t but xxxx at least you had a giggle you know xxxxxxx

love u babe xxxxxxxx

[ivyuns]

love again ❆✰

lee minho

genre: angst / fluff 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: drugs + language + a bit suggestive + a few grammar mistakes (this was written at 5 am plz i cant) 

A/N: why do i keep having dreams of someone who i used to like :(

masterlist

nonidol!minho x fem!reader

taking a picture of the scenery of paris in front of you, smiling of how well it came out, a real smile this time. hearing a voice call out your name, you turn around as your smile dropped, seeing someone who you didnt ever wanted to see. lee minho was his name.

it started as you two were young and in love with each other back in high school. you two we known as the toxic couple. not because you two were bad for each other, but because you did everything together: drugs, alcohol, getting high, sex, you name it. other than those, you two had another side of being soft. the romantic dates and the funny days shared.

the time you two hung out as best friends everyday, making everyone in school thinking you two were couples. the night where minho took you star gazing late at night after having a fight with your mom and ended up kissing you and asking you to be his one and only.

til your mom found out that you did drugs and drank underage because of minho. she forced you to break up with him and you felt like shit. you called him to meet you at the park you two always went to and left the house to go see him.

arriving at the park and sitting on a bench with the winter breeze around you in your light cardigan. feeling something on your shoulders made you feel tense til you smelled where the owner of the jacket is. lifting your head up, a tear fell from your eyes. minho’s eyes soften as he took a seat next to you and wiped the tear away.

“y/n, whats wrong love?” minho asked. “m-min, we need to break up”. minhos eyes widened from your sentence. “b-baby what happen? is everything okay at home? please tell me”. sighing and standing up as you took off minhos jacket off of your shoulders and gave it back to him. “just know that i still love you forever and always and we’ll meet in the next life” and left him.

minho sat there in shock, not knowing what just happened. it felt like a big part of him just left him.

the next week at school, you werent at your seat. you were nowhere found in school. you were just laying on your bed, feeling total shit. feeling nothing to do but just cry to sleep. your mom made you do online school to stop you from seeing minho and his friends. you phone made another noise as you sighed. looking up to see your phone on your nightstand, you see 44 missed calls and 64 messages from minho. tears falling down even more, you ended up falling asleep with a worried minho waiting for you at school.

and that was the last time you ever saw him, you first and last lover. his cousin, who was your best friend had kept in touch with you and told you what minho had done during the breakup. inhaling and consuming drugs, overdosing on drugs, drinking more and going crazy while yelling your name and wanting you to come back into his life.

minho eventually got over the breakup in a year. looking at the memories you gave him, he had the urge to call you names you didnt like him saying. his cousin passed by his room and heard him saying things you hated being called. knowing it was about you since his cousin had knew you before minho so of course you told her everything.

feeling hurt and angry about what she told you, you felt yourself growing apart from him. why still love him after he called you those names? you gave yourselft sometime to heal and feel better about yourself.

now here you are now 3 years later, visiting your dream city, france. you always wanted to come here when you and minho were a bit older but things didnt work out.

turning around after hearing minho called you, he ran over to you. looking at your figure, he can tell you lost too much weight but still had the perfect brown eyes with your hair recently dyed to light brown and your fashion senses that changed. only with you in a black top and baggy tan pants with black converse. god how much did he miss you.

a few minutes after not talking, you figured he just wanted your attention after he searched you everywhere in paris when his cousin gave him updates on you. walking away from him, he quickly grabbed your wrist. “y-y/n, can we please talk?” you made him let go of your wrist and continued walking to your hotel.

minho quickly ran in front of you and stopped you. “please y/n, what did i do wrong?” you sighed and looked up at him. “maybe if you werent so psycho, you wouldve known.”

minho stood there and thought of what happened. was it when you broke up with him? no, it couldnt be your fault. when he called you more than enough? no. when he was about to propose to you and run away with each other? no way. you two broke things before he could even ask.

‘shit’ he thought. it made him realize. he was too angry at some point and called you names that you hated being called and point out your insecurities. he knew someone was outside his door at the time.

facing back reality, he sees you still in front of him. “figured out now, mr lee minho?” you crossed your arms and a little smirk formed on your face. even after years, you still cant stop loving him. minho takes your hand and drags you to a park to lay under the sunset, watching to stars as it turns dark. remembering from your high school days.

laying down with you in minhos embrace, you whispered a ‘i love you’ to minho and fell asleep after missing the warmth of minho. minho, who smiled after you fell into your slumber and pulled you closer to him. “i love you too y/n”

a few hours, you woke up to nobody in the park but you and minho in the dark. noticing you were still in minhos arms, you got up and woke up minho. minho opened his eyes and saw your panic face. “minho, where are we?!”

minho was fully awake now. looking everywhere, he couldnt remember where or how he took you to this area. “god minho if you werent such a dumbass. youre lucky that my phone works fine here” you said as you gathered your stuff and grabbed minho’s hand, forcing him to get up and follow to directions on your phone to where your hotel was.

minho just smiled and walked close to you. “you havent changed a bit y/n” he says. you stopped walking and turned around which resulted minho bumping into you. “youre really asking for a slap are you?” minho quickly shook his head a no and you turned around and began walking again.

-

opening your door to your hotel room, minho was full in daze. everything was decorated beautiful just for a hotel suite, or thats what minho thought it was. “you can sleep on the couch here, ill be upstairs if you need anything” you said and head upstairs where your room was after giving him an extra toothbrush and toothpaste and other necessary items.

“wait y/n!” he calls your name and you turn around to walk downstairs. stopping at he last step of the stairs, minho walks towards you. “can you actually stay down here. i-i mean like so we can catch up on stuff like you know?” you knew he just wanted you to stay down here since he couldnt be alone.

“ya, youre just trying love me again arent you minho?” you joked as you poked him. minho scoffed and went to sit on the couch. “as if”. walking towards the couch and sitting next to minho, you lift your legs onto the ottoman. “im just joking min, of course ill stay here with you” you say to him and looked at him with a happy smile. minho smiles also after hearing you call out his nickname youll call him during your relationship.

hugging you waist, minho leans towards you as you get lost in his sparkling eyes. he lays you down and kisses your lips. at first, you wanted to pull away, but after missing his kisses, how could you resist it? 

a few weeks had gone by and you two had returned to korea as a couple again. another 3 weeks and you moved in with minho after getting kicked out when she found out you found minho. with no hesitation, you facetimed minho about what happened and let his loving girlfriend move in with him.

moving your belongs into his apartment, you felt nauseous. going to the toilet to release the sickness, minho puts down a box and runs over to your side after hearing disturbing noises from the bathroom. “baby, what happened? are you okay?” minho says and tries his best to comfort you while he lifts your hair into a ponytail so its not in the way. “i-i think im-”

tears started streaming down your face as thoughts ran past your brain. what if he doesnt want the baby? is it too early? were still in our early twenties. you were cut off by minho hugging you. “its okay baby. we can check and see in the morning. lets go head to bed, i already got the last box.” nodding your head, minho leads you to the bedroom with his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest, both slowly falling asleep.

waking up first thing in the morning, you turn and see minho still asleep. going to get ready to for the store. most importantly, for the pregnancy test.

-

walking back into the apartment, you immediately go to the bathroom and take the test. waiting for the test to give out the answer, minho wakes up to you not next to him. grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he goes to your contact and texts you.

my baby <3

where are u ?

hearing the familiar notification bell, he sighs as he realize you didnt take your phone with you. getting up, minho goes to the bathroom and sees you with the test in the palm of your hands. he goes up behind you and hugs you and to see the test come back with positive.

with the biggest smile on his face, minho turns you around to face him. “you dont know how happy i am y/n” “but minho, how are you not mad?” you pulled away from the hug with a confusion look on your face, “shhh, just pretend i wanted this to happen in the future when we dated.” minho back hugs you, facing the bathroom mirror.

you see minhos hands rubbing your stomach. “its been our dream to have kids and get married. and ta da!” turning yourself around, you hug minho at a better position. “thank you minho for loving me back and not leaving us, i love you so much”. minho leaned in and put his forehead on yours. “i love you more than you do baby” and gave you a loving peck.

END <3

yes another minho fic bc this was sitting in my drafts and i dont know where this was heading to hehe

[honeym4rk]

station (jjh)

college! jaehyun x reader word count: 3.0k summary: four times you find yourself alone with jaehyun at a bus station.

There is comfort in the silence.

With every step you take, there is a crunch of fallen, juniper leaves at your feet. Your canvas tote bag is looped around your shoulder, your fingers clinging to the straps like it would shield you from the awkwardness of the current circumstances.

He’s got his hands hidden in the cavity of his hoodie. His knuckle cracking is sporadic, and you cringe at just how many times they’ve made an encore in the past two minutes.

You really should have begged Mark to tag along and leave the shindig so that this wouldn’t have happened- but alas, the boy was still hooked by the prospect of winning the next round of Mario Kart against Donghyuck. ‘It does some good to my self-esteem,’ he’d said. 

So here you are, sauntering bashfully to the bus stop with Jaehyun.

“So, uh- what bus are you taking?” You muster up the courage to speak up after a few minutes of painful reticence. 

“I’d have to take 922 or 153 from the opposite stop to get back to hall,” he sighs. It’s clear that he reciprocates the weird, distinctive tension here.

“And you?” He faces you with his raised eyebrows and you’re baffled by the sudden eye contact made. Your eyes dart elsewhere.

“Oh, I’m taking 922 from here.” You nod your head imperceptibly at the bus stop ahead of you.

A few metres away, there’s a zebra crossing, and you thank your lucky stars that you’re finally about to part ways. Oh, you’re sure Jaehyun is a nice person and all, but that doesn’t change the fact that the unspoken, kind enmity in the air is capable of being taut so hard around your neck that you asphyxiate. 

Ten more steps. Come on.

Five steps. 

Three steps.

“I’ll see you next ti-” 

Yet he doesn’t stop at the crossing. Instead, he continues his stride in tandem with yours towards the station. You stop in your tracks, slowly gesturing towards the beaconing street light with the hand you raised to bid adieu. 

“Aren’t you going to, you know..?” Eyes hinting at the yellow streaks of light, at the bus stop across the road, anywhere away from his own. Jaehyun notices your halt and follows suit.

“Well, I mean, Mark did ask me to see that you got home safe....”

You immediately wrack your brain for an appropriate response to his chivalry. It’s unclear how you should react; he really caught you by surprise. And from the way he’s gnawing at his inner lip and raising a hand to scratch the nape of his neck, you infer that he’s abashed too. All you manage is a small, “Oh,” as more silence ensues, before you start to blabber,

“No, no, thanks, Jaehyun, but it’s really fine, you don’t have to.”

His lips are taut into a firm, straight line and he lets out a surreptitious hum.

“Let me just wait ‘til you board your bus. Is that okay? It’s getting pretty late.”

You want to vehemently object. 

And you’re about to, but you let out a consenting “Yeah, alright.”

He’s invading your desiderated solace- yet something about his offer seems so genuine and saccharine that you comply out of curiosity. You’d heard things about Jaehyun around in school before, good things, especially seeing that he was well acquainted with your friends like Mark, but you’d never really encountered him until tonight, thanks to Donghyuck’s birthday celebration. Being a Linguistics student, fate hadn’t really presented many opportunities for him to meet someone majoring in Pharmacy. 

Therefore- you think to yourself- it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s unlikely that you’ll actually talk to him again, since you’ll probably never be within a radius of at least ten metres from him again. It’s alright, it’s okay. You decide to let him be a gentleman.

So you bask in the quietude shrouding the two of you, as you sit on the metal form, awaiting the arrival of a yearned 922. 

After all, there is the slightest hint of comfort in the silence.

There is also comfort in the familiarity.

You’re sure there’s a sense of déjà vu. It’s a similar scene to what had ensued a few weeks ago, at least, and you’re definitely surprised to be here again, with him . However, you’ve both abandoned the multi-layered cake of unease. It’s almost been completely devoured now. Fortunately.

Jaehyun’s chuckling relentlessly- nearly doubled over laughing- as you recount the earlier occurrences of the Friday night. 

“Yeah, no, but I’d give anything to see the look on Donghyuck’s face again.” His eyes crinkle into small crescents as he runs a hand through his silver hair.

“He looked so confident that it was going to work and I’d already told him otherwise, but I really don’t know what he expected.” 

Tonight, there had been an effort to study in Donghyuck’s apartment; considering the looming exam season. This purpose was indeed fulfilled, to some extent. 

Then Donghyuck, feeling rather ravenous, decided that he wanted to indulge in a quick and easy two-ingredient Oreo mug cake. The video tutorial truly looked too good to be true- you’d seen multiple YouTubers debunk the content-farm produced recipes. 

The wide-eyed boy was too desperate, however, as he credulously decided to fill his mug with crushed oreos and milk to the brim. He swore that it looked and sounded promising until a loud Pop! reverberated in the kitchen 30 seconds into heating.

Everyone gathered around to watch Donghyuck cry over his spilt milk, literally, as his appliance perpetually emitted smoke, its glass door burst open. Burnt mounds of moist black and white cookies were thrown at the white, metal walls of the microwave. Donghyuck fanned the plumes of smoke hastily.

“It looks like a volcano erupted.” Mark added, coughing, as he tried to swallow the chuckle bubbling at the back of his throat.

“Dude- I don’t want to say I told you so but,” You began to implore, before Donghyuck interjected.

“Maybe I should just try again, I think the microwave setting just wasn’t right.” 

And so he did- but to no avail.

The two of you approach the tiny station side by side, and you relish the warm, fuzzy feeling establishing in your stomach. Not quite butterflies, but maybe more like a tiny sprout popping out of the ground.

“To be fair, though, it didn’t taste half as bad as it looked.”

You snort. “Sure, because it’s literally sugar and milk with a dash of hidden carcinogens.” 

He lets out a low chortle. Jaehyun nails the bellowing dad laugh right down to a T, and some part of you finds this endearing.

A flash of bright light emerges as you look up from your feet. 922 has arrived and you’re rummaging through your bag for your bus card. 

“I feel like I left my card at Donghyuck’s, shit,”

The bus halts. 

“Here, use mine, I’ve got a spare.” Jaehyun offers without a second thought, pulling his card from the pocket of his denim jeans. 

“Go on, the bus driver’s waiting.”

You would have thought this through for a little while longer, but he was right. A scowl that said ‘Stop wasting my damn time,’ is plastered on the driver’s face, and it urges you to carefully pick the card slotted between his fingers. 

“Thanks so much- I’ll return it tomorrow, or something.” Your eyebrows furrow together and you clench your teeth together in a grimace.

“Yeah! Yeah, whenever. Good night, Y/N. Get home safe,”

“You too, thanks again!”

Boarding the bus hastily, you wave at him through the glass door as the bus sets off. He doesn’t leave until you’re out of sight.

You can’t help but grin as you examine the portrait on his student pass. He’s handsome, skin clear and glossy, hair parted such that there are a bunch of strands obstructing his forehead. It’s black in this image. You wonder how many colours it's been dyed. His dimples replicate the poked slime in the myriad of videos you’ve seen, and his cheekbones are incredibly prominent. 

It dawns on you that you don’t have his number, or follow him on Instagram, or have any means to contact him at all. You guess that you’ll have to fish something from Mark, but Jaehyun seems to beat you to it.

Unknown, [2340]: hey this is jaehyun lol hope you get back safe :-)

A sudden flash of the many possible outcomes this could entail breezes past your mind. You’re quite uncertain about how this will play out, and you unlock your phone to reply.

Y/N, [2341]: hii hahah thanks again! i can return your card tomorrow, just lmk where i can drop by

Jaehyun, [2341]: yeah sure, i think i’ll be cooped up in starbucks doing work w my friends lol 

Jaehyun, [2341]: u can join if ud like :o

There is comfort in the unknown.

There is comfort in the noise.

Your whole herd of boisterous friends are walking uphill from yet another study session at Donghyuck’s- there’s been quite a number of them since the first. You’re honestly amused by how many people can fit in his apartment. The study group has expanded from a mere four to a whopping seven people in total.

Thankfully, there haven’t been any microwave oven explosions since then, but you’ve had your good share of fun and company, and more importantly, productivity. 

The pack of young adults currently divulging the extensive, latest gossip and hall horror stories, you and Jaehyun stray further behind. You’re trying to listen in and pick apart information, but you’ve joined the conversation a bit too late for context. 

“Oh my god, Lia, you’re going to hate hearing this, but…” Jungwoo begins, his voice entering a decrescendo.

“But Jeno has a girlfriend? Yeah, I figured.” Lia wails. “I saw them together in the library the other day, being all cute and shit. My heart shattered .” She emphasises this by hitting Jungwoo’s shoulder out of pure frustration. 

“How long have they been together, though?” Ryujin quips, to which she gets a reply, but you try to drown out the rest of their conversation.

You tug at the arm of Jaehyun’s sweatshirt, and he leans closer to you as you query, “Who’s Jeno, again?”

“Cute dude that she keeps bumping into at hall, I think,” he mumbles. His words are semi-intelligible, because of the commotion right in front of you.

“Sorry? I didn’t catch that.” The infinite frequencies are hard to tune out, and it gets increasingly arduous to do so when Ryujin gasps.

“Oh shit, the bus is here!” Your friends are immediately ready to break into a sprint, but Jaehyun’s feet seem heavy as he continues to meander with you. 

“Jae, aren’t you coming? The next one’s in thirty minutes!” Jungwoo shouts as they begin to dash across the road.

“It’s fine, go on! I’m just a little lazy. See you!” Jaehyun dismisses him with the wave of his extended hand, and receives an incredulous look. The lame excuse confuses you, bamboozles you, but you wave goodbye to your friends anyway.

It’s been long since you’ve been caught alone here at the bus stop with Jaehyun- you usually head home with Mark every Friday. He’s not here, though. He’s crashed at Donghyuck’s for tonight.

“Uhm, what was that ?” You chuckle nervously, the little sprout in your belly magically reappearing. Truth be told, after the many lighthearted, late-night messages exchanged over the past few weeks, and after unravelling Jaehyun bit by bit, the sprout has grown into a pocket-sized garden. It brings its own butterflies, but you don’t quite have the audacity to admit this. There’s a different kind of trickiness lingering in the air tonight.

“Well, you know- Mark…and it’s- it’s getting late, kinda.” He’s timorous tonight. Under the luminescence of the bus station’s lamps, you see the pink tint land on the tips of his ears, something you’ve learnt happens when he’s rather shy. 

“I wanted to ask you something, too, though.”

“Okay, shoot.” You take a seat. He sits a modest distance away from you, cracking his knuckles instinctively.

“Well, I uhm, I’m not quite sure how you’ll react to this but,” he licks his lips.

“But?” You encourage him to carry on, staring as you await his continuation.

He looks as if he’s got the words at the tip of his tongue, the sea of sentences about to overflow from his mouth, and they’re spilling when he starts speaking again.

“Would you-” You listen intently, attempting to read his lips. However, he’s cut off by the booming wails of a velocious ambulance. You whip your head around to watch the vehicle pass by. 

Jaehyun breathes sharply, exhaling in frustration. The cries subside, so he tries again. 

“Y/N,” he clears his throat, and you face him once more.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“I was wondering if-” 

A fire truck zooms past the bus stop, and your attention is grabbed by the monotonous siren that raids your ears. Jaehyun notices your bus approaching, and he panics. The air-raid isn’t becoming distant; the truck’s obstructed by the imposing red-light flashing. There’s only so much time left to ask what he’s been dying to- and he can’t believe he’s getting cockblocked by the emergency services right now. 

You’re hearing Jaehyun spill a string of words but they’re incoherent- all you can seem to comprehend is the blaring repetitions that are relentless.

“What?!” You shout, fighting past the cacophony. “I can’t hear you!” You’re signing this to him, pointing to your ear and shaking your hand vigorously.

Your bus halts before you. Jaehyun’s in an absolute frenzy now. He doesn’t want to do this online. Something about hiding behind his screen sounds so ingenuine to him, and you’re already standing, shit, but he can’t win against the absolute pandemonium and doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the small crowd that’s alighted the bus, but he’s also not sure when he’ll get to talk to you in private like this again, 

So he clamours.

“Do You! Want To Go Out! With Me!” He’s cupping his large hands around his mouth, screaming into the makeshift amplifier with all his might, as you walk towards the front doors of the bus.

You look like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide open in disbelief as you gawk at the boy who’s sheepishly glancing at everyone and using his hand to defend himself from their stares. The butterflies that have erupted in you are merciless.

And then you burst into a fit of laughter- Jaehyun curses the sirens for piercing through such a pleasant sound- and you nod profusely, one foot already boarding the bus.

The glass doors shut close, and you’re enthusiastically gesturing to your handphone, waving at him. The bus whizzes away.

He’s shell-shocked, and he’s unable to will his hands in drawing his phone from his pocket. The sudden series of vibrations brings him back to his senses.

Y/N (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝),[2257]: WAIT ask me again

Y/N (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝), [2257]: idk if i heard u right

Jaehyun, [2258]: k

Y/N (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝), [2258]: dude come back </3

Y/N (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝), [2258]: YES lol

Y/N (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝), [2257]: yeeeeeeees

It heavily hinders Jaehyun that night, but there is comfort in the noise.

There is comfort in the isolation.

It’s only the blinding fluorescent lights and the cool breeze presenting company at the bus stop- you’re grateful that the occasional cars speeding by are helping you break down the very last walls of tension between the two of you, if there are any.

Whoosh. 

“I really enjoyed today.” He smiles and steals a quick glance at you. You’re at a different bus stop now- a month later and you’re amazed that you’ve gone out with Jaehyun at least three times now.

You catch the slight twinkle in his eyes as he scoots a whole foot nearer towards you on the cool metal bench. The distance between the two of you is closing slowly yet your heart rate is augmenting. It’s accelerating now- faster than any of the rambunctious vehicles that race down the road, their engines revving dirtily.

Whoosh. A black BMW zooms past you both and you take the opportunity to reciprocate the cheeky glimpse.

“Me too.”

There’s fumbling of fingers and twiddling of your thumbs before you notice the sudden influx of light and buzzing and realise that your bus has arrived. Pure languish rushes through every vein in your body- you don’t want this night to end.

Jaehyun begins to stand and shoots a quizzical expression when you don’t follow suit. 

“Let’s wait for the next one,” you grin, your legs swinging back and forth as you continue to glue yourself on the elevated seat.

The sound of his chuckle envelopes you into a warm hug- it’s deep, and strong, yet soft at the same time- and then you’re pulled to your feet by your wrists before he embraces you with confident hesitation too.

“Is this- it’s okay, right?” He just wants to be sure.

“Yeah- very.” You breathe, and his boyish smell fills your lungs. There is difficulty in naming what scented cologne he’s used today; but you devote no more attention. You just wallow in the tangy, mellow fragrance that has permeated your senses.

He’s got his arms coiled around your waist, his palm extended to press your back closer to him. You’re playing with the sharp, freshly cut hairs on the back of his neck. You run your fingers through them and he dives his head further into the crook of your neck. Jaehyun’s muffled voice is tickling your shoulder-

“Your hair smells really nice.” The corners of your lips edge upwards into an unrelenting grin.

“Thank God.”

There is comfort in Jaehyun.

[cinnaminsvga]

body of mine preview | Seokjin (M)

→ summary: It’s the night before Seokjin’s birthday and you, his ever-reliable witch slash roommate, have accidentally forgotten to get him a gift. Good thing you know magic then, right? Ten wishes shouldn’t be too hard to handle...

{or alternatively: learning the importance of living a marie kondo lifestyle, but in hindsight}

→ genre: shifter!au, magic!au, humor/crack, smut → warnings: jin is your magical hamster familiar, jin is chaotic (ofc), aphrodisiac sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex, dom!jin if you squint, hair pulling, jin doesn’t wrap up his peepee (pls practice safe sex u guys), slight breeding kink?? → words: anticipated 15K → a/n: jfc... how the hell is it july already... this was supposed to be a bday gift for @jincherie​ but i suck balls and writing overheated my tiny chimp brain but i guess better late than never!! anyway... hope to get this out [insert date here] but uhhh til then... here is this!!

Due to your magical abilities, you had sensed that this little hamster had magic in his veins and you guessed that he must have either been a shifter or an intellectually augmented animal. You guessed that he’s the former, much like how Yoongi is a cat shifter as well. Ever since Namjoon had befriended Yoongi and the two became partners, you admit that you’ve always been a little jealous of their natural camaraderie. You had long since yearned for someone who could assist you in your magical apothecary, but more importantly, someone you could share your time with.

You were optimistic; perhaps when the little hamster learned to shift into its human form, then you could truly begin your journey towards friendship. You’re sure that the man behind the hamster must be just as cute and lovely.

Speaking of learning to shift–

“What? You mean me?” Yoongi asked, craning his head over Namjoon’s shoulder, his curiosity getting the better of him but still remaining a safe distance away from you and the hamster. “What about learning to shift?”

“Did you just learn one day? I want to get Mr. Hamster over here to turn into a human so I can speak to him,” you explained, but the cat shifter narrows his eyes distrustfully.

“I don’t want that vermin to gain the ability to speak. I can just tell no one is going to enjoy what he has to say,” he sniffed. He growled lowly, the sound so deep and feral that you are momentarily disarmed by his hostility. Namjoon had to rub the back of his ears for a second, forcing Yoongi to calm down until his growl softened into a purr.

“Well, Yoongi over here can’t control his shifting abilities quite yet. I have to… forcibly change him, if you will,” Namjoon explained, watching Yoongi with loving eyes as he gently nuzzled into the witch’s hand. He beckoned you closer and you took a tentative step forward, keeping the hamster behind your back just to be safe. “Watch,” he said simply, as his hand trails lower and lower until it reached the back of Yoongi’s neck and he–

Poof! Namjoon simply tickled the back of Yoongi’s neck and a puff of purple smoke revealed a munchkin cat in its wake. His soft gray and white fur bristled in surprise, his teeth bared at Namjoon as he meowed in contempt. Namjoon ignored all of this, gently picking up the tiny cat and cradling him in his arms like a baby. Immediately, the shifter relaxed, eyes closing contentedly as he nuzzles deeper into Namjoon’s chest.

“Woah,” you said, for lack of better words. You shook your head, gazing at the two in wonder. “I didn’t know Yoongi has a fucking eject button.”

“Yep. I sure hope you don’t abuse this knowledge, by the way,” Namjoon warned, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes told you that he probably wouldn’t mind if you did. Knowing you, there was no question that you’d take any and every opportunity to annoy the cat shifter. “If this hamster is the same, then surely it has a similar tick. Since it’s small too, I’m sure it’ll be easy to find its spot.”

“Speaking of,” you piped up, staring curiously at him. “How… did you find out where Yoongi’s spot was? Didn’t you meet him as a human?”

Namjoon shrugged, but there’s a soft pink tint coloring the tops of his ears. “Umm… Coincidence?”

You squinted at him. “Sure,” you agreed, not really wanting to know why he seemed so embarrassed. You turned back to the furry matter at hand, lips pursing as you gazed upon the hamster. Surely, there should be an easy way to figure this out…

You began to roll the small hamster in your hand like a pancake, twisting and pulling the lil guy until it was squeaking in protest. You made sure not to handle it too roughly, so you were a bit surprised at how dramatically the hamster was screaming. “Just another moment, baby…” you murmured. At the sound of the pet name, the hamster paused in its squirming, staring wide-eyed at you with its tiny mouth ridiculously agape. You arched a brow, amused at the aghast expression on its face.

“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely human, by the looks of it,” you commented, poking it lightly on the nose. The hamster scrunched up its face just as a soft pink smoke started to envelop its tiny body. You coughed harshly, your sinuses tickled by the strong scent of caramel and mint. “W-well, I think I found its spot,” you pointed out helplessly, eyes watering as you tried to keep them open.

The hamster’s body was growing ridiculously hot, forcing you to drop it on your kitchen counter. You hissed, sucking on your burned appendages as you wait for the smoke to subside. Beside you, Namjoon had Yoongi held tightly in his arms, his back turned away to keep the smoke away from their faces. “Y/N, get some clothes quickly. He’s going to be cold when he finishes transforming,” was all he said, his free hand covering his nose. “This is probably going to be its first shift!”

You’re still completely flabbergasted, frozen in place. “What?” you replied dumbly, standing stock still as you waited for the smoke to dissipate. As more and more of it cleared, you noticed two pairs of long legs where there originally had been none. You waved your hand a bit, fanning the remaining fumes away from your face, allowing you to gaze upon a very naked and very tall man sitting primly on your kitchen counter.

You and the man stared each other down, neither of you blinking or backing down. After a few moments, the man smiled brightly at you, his cheeks bunching up much like how he had appeared in his hamster form. “Hello, human,” he greeted, extending a hand towards you. You took it dazedly, still staring wide-eyed at him. “My name is Seokjin. I suppose this means I’m going to be your familiar from now on.”

Your gaze travelled downwards, your hands still clasped together with his. “You’re naked,” you said plainly.

He followed your gaze. “I suppose I am,” he mused, shrugging his shoulders. He was incredibly wide; it almost made no sense that he was a hamster just a few seconds ago. What did he do, bench press sunflower seeds all day? “I am also incredibly beautiful, but we can continue stating the obvious another day.” He released your hands, clasping them together with a beatific smile. “C’mon, human! Bring me your finest garments for my handsomely sculpted testicles are starting to shrivel up from the cold.”

Behind you, you could hear Yoongi hissing loudly in response.

And from that day forward, your adventures of living with the biggest nuisance in the world had begun.

[maih-em]

10 question fic writing

Tagged by @ladyaj-13 thank u <3

1) What’s your favourite genre to write?

Honestly not sure? Judging by my previous stuff it’s just fluff with no particular plot, generally the pining>first kiss>beginning of relationship sort of time. I don’t tend to write case fics because that requires, you know, Thinking, but then saying that I’m actually trying to write one at the moment (it also has magic in it!) but the case aspect is the biggest obstacle as I only have a beginning and ending.

2) Do you pull inspiration from real-life or do you pull things from other books/fanfiction you’ve read?

I have absolutely no idea they just appear in my head and I write them.

Actually, saying that I do sometimes get inspiration from other fics I read but it’s often more the writing style or a general overall vibe. Occasionally I’ll read a bit of dialogue and suddenly have either a few ideas or an overwhelming need to write something Like That even though I have no plot to put around it.

3) Do you tend to write one-shots, short stories or longer things?

Generally one-shots or short stories (up to 20k ish) because that’s the form most of my ideas come in, but I do love the idea of longer things. I’m working on a longer fic (the magic one I mentioned above) but I have no idea how long it’ll be.

4) Do you prefer writing descriptions or dialogue?

It really depends on my mood. Often writing dialogue feels like getting blood from a stone unless the dialogue is what first sprung into my mind to inspire the fic. Description comes a lot more naturally to me but I struggle to fit it in amongst the rest of what I’m writing. What I find hardest and often leave til last is the transitions between scenes/locations.

5) Favourite fic/book of all the time?

My favourite book is probably I’ll give you the sun by Jandy Nelson. And also based on how many times I’ve read them and the fact that I almost never read things more than once, the history boys (which I’ve read 5 times) and parsnips, buttered by joe Lycett (which I read something like 9 times in one year, often back to back).

I have so many favourite fics I can’t even start. Basically, all my bookmarks on a03 are my fav things I’ve read that I would read again, so that should give an indication. I have to say soft like summer rain by @fitzrove though that makes me Feel Things. Also Easy As Anything by komodobits (idk the tumblr) which is 80% of the reason I started watching red dwarf and I genuinely read all 140k words in 1 night like an INSANE PERSON and have since read it twice more, both times in one go. It lives rent free in my brain.

6) Favourite trope?

ENEMIES TO LOVERS PINING SLOW BURN

Also, every single character being really dumb and bisexual pls.

7) Are you the kind of person to work on more than one wip?

I tried not to be when I started regularly writing fic but now it’s descended into chaos. Well, not chaos, like 8 or so, and maybe 5 of which I’m actively writing, but for me that’s a lot of things to be juggling in my head at once.

8) How long have you been writing for?

The first story I remember writing I think I was about 7 and it was about some barbie dolls on a day out. All through primary school I wrote little stories and when I was about 12 I got wattpad and started posting original stuff on there, then started a couple sort of gen fanfics, though I was never very involved in online fandom. I did nanowrimo in 2017, and attempted it again in 2018 except I abandoned the book and have never looked at it since. Don’t think I want to tbh.

That’s basically a very wordy way of saying I’ve been writing as long as I can remember, but I’ve only been actively properly writing fic for like 2 years or so now.

9) Do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon or evening?

Generally, just whenever the inspiration strikes, which isn’t much at all lately I’ve barely written anything for about a month now. I do most of my writing in the evening (11-2 ish) but then again I do most of everything at 11-2 ish.

10) Do you ever prefer to post and update your wip chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your wip is 100% finished before sharing it?

I’m not really sure. I like the idea of the satisfaction of posting something all in one go, which I’m trying to do with my current multi-chapter wips, because if nothing else it’s just a test of my self control, but also……. Comments and validation pls, so I’m not really sure if I have a preference either way. My ideal setup would be to write it all, then post chapter by chapter on a regular schedule as I edit each chapter.

 My brain has just switched off so no tags but if u want to do this then I’ve tagged you!

[faveficarchive]

The Amazon Way

By Barderella

Pairing: Ephiny/Solari, Eponin/Terreis, Gabrielle/Ephiny, Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: Mature

Synopsis: Some Amazon drama, lots of fluff, a bit of tragedy, this story is great for anyone who just wants to zone out to a little romance.

Ephiny peeked one eye open to the harsh morning sunlight. Groaning, she closed it tightly. 'Never again! I swear it!' she thought to herself as she remembered her drunken escapades of the previous evening. She rolled over to the edge of the bed, fully intending on standing, but her body just wasn't cooperating with her brain right then and she fell back onto the bed with a sigh. Her right arm fell across her eyes as she tried to take deep breaths to clear her fuzzy head. 'Ok, one more try...' With a grunt she hauled herself up into a sitting position and was rewarded by the room spinning out of control. Gripping the bed until her knuckles turned white, she waited for the feeling to pass...which it did, and she shook her head to clear it more. "OW OW OW OW OW!!!!! Eph, you know better than to do that!" She said aloud as the throbbing became almost unbearable. She raised her arms over her head and stretched, feeling numerous muscles begin to argue relentlessly with her to not do that. "Twenty summers, and it feels like eighty sometimes, geeesh!" she thought amusedly. Finally, she managed to stand without her knees feeling wobbly and worked her way over to the washbasin in her small hut. She poured some fresh water in and briskly splashed it on her face, feeling the cool liquid begin to break through the cloudiness in her head. Finishing with that, she ran her fingers through the tangled mass of shoulder length, blonde curls, found some clean leathers, and slipping them on headed out the door to Old Cervexa's hut to procure some herbs for her rebelling stomach.

***

Solari and Eponin sat on the bench outside the healer's hut awaiting their turn for herbs when they noticed Ephiny's hunched over form making its' way across the courtyard.

"Soli...hey...look over there..." said Eponin pointing Ephiny's way.

Solari turned her eyes to see a very hung-over looking blonde amazon trudging up to them. She averted her gaze as Eph practically fell into the spot next to her on the bench, leaned back against the wall of the hut and covered her eyes with her arm.

"Uhhhhh hey there Eph...one too many ciders last night eh?" commented Eponin with a following snicker.

"Oh! And no thanks to you!" snapped Ephiny. "Or your zombie-lookin' little friend over here either!" she jerked her free thumb in Solari's direction. "And to think I call you two my friends. Why did you let me drink so much?? You know how I get!!!"

"But Eph, I didn't realize how much you had til it was too late anyhow." shrugged Eponin. "Besides...you're sooo much fun when you've had a few. You really do some crazy stuff...it's great!!"

"Yeeeeaaaahhhh..." interrupted Solari. "I especially liked your rendition of 'The Dance of the Three Veils'...it was very...ummm....uhhhh...shall we say, inspirational?" She and Eponin burst into helpless fits of giggles.

Ephiny was about to retort when the door of the hut flew open and poor Pony was grabbed by the ear by Cervexa the Healer herself...

"What's with all this racket out here you whippersnappers? Can't ya see there's sick people in here?" She wrenched the ear she was holding so that the face turned her way. "Yep...just as I thought! Been partakin' of the spirits again have ya? Well I've a good mind to just leave y'all out here to suffer!!" She gave them all a warning look as she dragged poor Ep by the earlobe into the hut, "No more noise ya hear??

Quiet

!" She disappeared into the hut, slamming the door loudly behind her.

Solari and Ephiny turned wide eyes from the door to each other. They both began shaking with silent giggles which went on for about a quarter candlemark. Eph cleared her throat and casually glanced over at Solari, who was now watching the action over at the practice field. She was really beginning to notice things about her friend lately. Things like her eyes, her smile, her body....'

Whoa

wait a minute here Eph...her body???' She quickly looked away, but found herself looking back a moment later. She took her time, carefully studying the young woman sitting next to her. 'Yeah, and I'm liking what I see...' she thought as a wry grin unknowingly edged up the corner of her mouth.

She cleared her throat again. Leaning over towards her friend, she spoke softly so as not to bring Cervexa flying out the door to thrash them. "So Soli....you liked my dance huh?" Her breath tickled Sol's ear and she whipped her head around, only to come face to face with Ephiny.

Before she knew it, she was frozen in her spot and staring into very mesmerizing hazel eyes. "U-u-u-mmm..." she stammered. "W-w-ell, y-yeah I did what's wrong with that?" Solari couldn't remember when her stomach had felt this funny. She watched as Ephiny smiled at her and moved a little closer on the bench.

"So do you think I dance good?" whispered Eph, her eyes taking in all the reactions she was causing in her friend.

Solari's heart felt like it was going to pound right out of her chest. "Yes." was all she could manage to say.

"I'm glad you like it." She inched even closer.

"I do..." admitted Soli. Eph's lips were a scant distance from her own. "Very much."

"How much?" replied Ephiny.

"This much..." said Solari as she brought her lips against Ephiny's. She felt arms pulling her closer, and she moaned softly as she did the same. Oooooh, she had wanted to do this for so long, and now it was happening. She traced the contour of Eph's lips with her tongue. So nice. She deepened the kiss and felt one hand reach up to tangle itself in her hair and another slide down her back. She slowly pulled away and just stared at her friend.

Ephiny's eyes were still closed, so she reached out and touched the side of her face. "Hey..."

The blonde slowly opened her eyes, and found intense blue ones staring back at her. "Hey yourself." She smiled. "Wow...I had no idea you knew how to kiss like that."

"Did you like it?"

"Oh yeah...very much." She grinned slyly as she turned Solari's own words back on her. "So much I can't wait till you kiss me again." Their lips met in a second kiss, and Ephiny's world exploded into an array of swirling emotions. 

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! BREAK IT UP!!!" Cervexa stormed out of her hut, shoving a very suprised looking Eponin out in front of her and grabbing Solari by the ear, dragging the young woman off the bench to stand next to her. "I swear! You young ones! Always makin googily eyes at each other. WELL DIDN'T YOUR MOTHERS EVER TEACH YOU IT AIN'T RIGHT TO BE DOIN THAT IN PUBLIC?" She stumbled towards the hut door, with Solari in tow, mumbling something to herself about what they must be adding to the food lately.

Ephiny managed a weak smile at Solari before she disappeared into the hut with Cervexa. Noticing Eponin's eyes on her, she turned to face her. "What?"

"Oh nothing...nothing." replied Ep. "Except..."

"Except what?"

"Well uuuhhh, what are you going to tell Terreis?" Said the weaponmaster-to-be.

Ephiny's eyebrows scrunched at the thought. "Damn. I forgot about that." She caught a stern stare from her friend. "Don't give me that look Pony! I'll handle the Princess just fine."

"I'm not sayin ya couldn't Eph....I'm just sayin she ain't gonna like it much that you picked Solari over her. You know she's had her eye on you for a while now..."

"I know, I know. But I like Soli. She's just going to have to understand is all." replied Ephiny.

Eponin laughed out loud. "Understand? Understand??? She's gonna understand alright....so much I bet she goes straight to the Queen and gets you demoted!"

"Melosa wouldn't do that would she? Oh my....no no. DAMN! Pony...shit what am I gonna do?" Ephiny stared hopelessly off into the distance.

"Eph, Eph...don't worry. Yer ol buddy Eponin is here, and I got a plan."

***

Ephiny sat across the table from her friend and just rolled her eyes. "You can't be serious! That will never work Pony, you aren't giving Ter's intellect any credit at all here."

Now it was Ep's turn to roll her eyes. "I swear Eph, you are so negative! Where do you get it from, yer momma? This will work I promise!"

"Sure...sure. And just how am I supposed to make her think I'm not good enough for her? Hmmmm??" questioned Ephiny with an annoyed look.

"Well, there's a number of ways...you could be the village bully..." One look at her not so brawnily-built friend told Eponin that route was out of the question. "Or you could pretend to hate old people, I know she's fond of em..." Ephiny shook her head. "Hmmm ok, how about you become the biggest tease in town? You could really sleaze around....Yeah! She would hate that!" Ep leaned back in her chair, tipping it on two legs, put her feet on the table and crossed her arms, all the while sporting a smug look at her own brilliance.

"You want me to be a tramp?" Ephiny's shoulders shook violently as she laughed. "Oh yeah, that's a good one Pony!" More laughing. "Everyone knows me! You think they would believe that?" Her shoulders began shaking once again.

Eponin's smug look turned into one of defeat, and a pout began as her bottom lip edged out just a smidge. "Aw Eph....why won't ya even just try it? I mean, what do ya have to lose here? Come on! She likes you because you're considerate and caring. All ya gotta do is carry on like a woman possessed, and before ya know it...POOF! She'll lose interest! Then you and Solari can have yer fling in peace." She held her breath as she watched her friend ponder this latest argument.

"Well..." Drawled Ephiny.

"Excellent! Excellent! I knew you'd see it my way!" She raised her arms in the air and began clapping wildly at Ephiny's obvious agreement to her idea. Forgetting the chair was balanced precariously on two legs, she fell over backwards, crashing to the floor and emitting a loud grunt.

This was more than Eph could handle right then, and she doubled over holding onto her stomach for dear life. "P-Pony...you ok?" She stood and peeked over the opposite edge of the table and found her friend in a heap on the floor, trying to disentangle her legs from the chair.

"Not one word Ephiny. Not

one

word! Or I'll pummel ya, got me?"

All that did was cause Eph to laugh even harder. (if that was possible) She fell back into her own chair, praying to Artemis that she wouldn't bust a gut.

A rap came from the doorway as Solari entered the hut. She stopped in mid step as she witnessed Ephiny laughing hysterically, arms wrapped around herself in a death grip, and Eponin trying to stand with a chair attached to her backside. "What the?" She watched as Ep once again tried to pull her derriere from the chair unsuccessfully. "Forget it, I don't want to know." She giggled as she pulled another chair up next to Ephiny. Turning to the blonde, she held a small bag out to her. "Here, I brought you some of those herbs for your head Eph, considering you were gone when Cervexa got done prodding me." A tinge of hurt began to show upon the brunette's features.

Ephiny reached out to take the herbs from her. "Soli, oh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to just leave you there like that...really." Her eyes softened as she caught the look in Solari's eyes, and she reached over to place her hand atop a smaller one. Solari looked up at the touch and smiled.

Eponin had finally managed to disengage herself from what would now on be known as 'The Trained Attack Chair', and was repositioning it so she could sit down again. "No no no, Solari, it was my fault, I dragged her back here." She put her elbows on the table and propped her chin up on her fists. "See, I know you guys got a thing for each other Sol, but that don't mean you can just ignore everything else ya know."

"Such as?" replied Solari, raising an eyebrow.

"Such as Terreis." she said emphatically.

"Oh, yeah well I guess that kinda slipped my mind." replied Solari, finding a very interesting design on the table to look at.

Eponin blew out an exasperated breath. "Soli, don't you know what this means?" She turned narrowed eyes upon her two friends. "A scorned Amazon Princess, whose sister happens to be Queen, and said Queen adores her baby sis so much that she gives the Princess almost anything she wants. This could really mess up Eph's chances at getting into the guard." She sat back. "Not to mention yours as well." She crossed her arms again. "It's pretty much a known fact that Terreis has her mind set on joining with Eph ya know..." She watched Eph swallow so hard she almost had to go check to make sure her tongue was still in there..

Now Solari....well...she was speechless. Eponin was right and she knew it. This could cause major problems for them both, and they didn't even realize it til now. "Aww centaur farts Pony! How are we gonna fix this? It's not like this was a planned thing you know..." She stole a look at Ephiny and sighed.

Eponin grinned broadly. "I was hopin you'd ask that Soli." And with that she began to relate her plan to her friend....

***

"It ain't such a bad idea Eph..." commented Solari as she pulled an apple out of her pack and began munching away contentedly. "Besides, it's not like you have any other options right now."

Ephiny kicked a stone, sending it shooting down the forest path ahead of them. "I know, I know, but come on Soli! There is no way in Tartarus that anyone in the village is going to believe I have all of a sudden turned into a hormone-raging, woman-chasing tramp!" She reached the stone she had kicked earlier and sent it flying down the path again. "Besides, either way I lose. If I do nothing, I end up having to join with Terreis, and if I go with Pony's crazy idea, and it works....well, then the whole village thinks I'm a floozy. This is a no-win situation."

Solari stopped munching on her apple. "Gee thanks Eph..." she said, a look of hurt beginning to paint her classic features. "Nice to know where I stand in all this." She quickened her pace, striding ahead of her friend to hide the tears that were by this time barely restrained.

Ephiny sighed. 'How come everything I say lately comes out sounding like a merchant's spiel at the market?' she thought as she hurried to catch up with her friend. "Soli, wait - wait up..." She placed her hand on her friends' shoulder, stopping her progress and gently turned her around so she could look into her eyes. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded...really." She brought her hand up to trace the contours of the brunette's cheek. "Look at me." Solari slowly brought her eyes up to meet the blonde's. "You mean a lot to me." A pause and a soft sigh. "And despite the fact that I absolutely hate the way I have to go about remedying the situation, I'll do it. In fact I'll do whatever it takes if it means I'll be able to be with you in the end." She cocked her head to one side, looking into the blue eyes that were now setting her soul aflame every time she did. "I'm sorry darling, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. That's the last thing I would ever want to do." She reached her other arm out and drew her friend into a sincere embrace.

Solari rested her head against a strong shoulder, bringing arms up to wrap around her friend's waist. "Do you really mean that Eph?" she asked softly.

Ephiny pulled her head back just enough to study the emotions on the young woman's face, and their eyes met again. "Yes." she replied. "I don't ever want to hurt you. You're everything to me."

A weak smile showed itself on the brunette's face as she sighed and once again rested her cheek on Ephiny's shoulder. "Thank you." she replied. "That means a lot." She paused, then added, "I feel the same about you."

Ephiny felt the arms around her waist tighten in emphasis to her companion's words and smiled, breathing in the now familiar soft scent of lilacs that seemed to be everywhere Solari was. She tightened her own arms around the young woman as she spoke. "Do you?"

Fingers slowly traced a circular pattern along the small of Ephiny's back. "Yes....for a long time now."

"How long?" inquired the blonde, running her fingers through dark tresses.

Solari chuckled softly as she pulled her head back to meet amused hazel eyes. "That is a loaded question Ephiny." She smiled at her friend. "Does it really matter?"

"No, but I'm curious to know." she replied, an eyebrow raising as she took in the hearty blush that was now coloring Solari's cheeks.

"Umm...." She rolled her eyes and looked away. "I think I realized it around the last harvest." Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought harder. "It might have been longer for all I know."

Ephiny's jaw hit the forest floor in amazement. "Soli, you've liked me for almost a year and you never said anything? How come?"

Solari rolled her eyes more dramatically this time. "You're kidding right?" A shake of blonde curls was her answer, and she took a breath before continuing. "Terreis made it pretty obvious to everyone that she intended on courting you, and I was afraid to say a word. I most certainly didn't want to bring the anger of the princess down upon myself."

"So why are things different now Soli? Why did you pick this time to kiss me?"

"Aw Hades, Eph!" The blush began creeping back into her face. "I only have so much willpower ya know!" She giggled. "And you weren't makin it very easy one me puttin your lips that close to mine..."

"Ooooh, I see....so it's all my fault?" said the blonde with a chuckle.

"Yes...all your fault."

"Hmmmm...so if I were to do this..." She brought her lips a hairsbreadth away from her friend's. "Then it would be my fault again?" A sly grin appeared at the corner of Ephiny's mouth.

Solari felt a strange warmth beginning inside as her eyes fixed on the invitation before her. She brushed her lips softly across Ephiny's. "Mmmmm yes...all your fault." She looked up into those gorgeous hazel eyes and was reduced to a pile of jello in a matter of seconds. "Gods Eph, do you have any idea what you are doing to me right now?"

"Probably the same thing you're doing to me." Whispered the blonde, her hands reaching up to tangle in the darker locks. "You're making it very hard to be a respectful amazon Solari." She smiled.

The brunette's blush went from pink to three shades of purple in a matter of seconds. She cleared her throat before she spoke. "Am I? I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry darling. In my opinion, you're worth the wait." She punctuated her words with a kiss that made Solari lose all sense of time.

"Good gods, Ephiny." Said the brunette as they pulled apart. Air seemed to be a precious commodity at that moment, and Solari tried to get some in as she mustered her courage to speak again. "Maybe I wouldn't mind you being a little disrespectful if you kiss me like that all the time."

"Hmmm, is that so?" replied the blonde, the insinuation hitting her right in her core. She gasped at the intensity of the feeling, wondering if this was what everyone alluded to when they referred to unbridled passion. 'Oh yeah, this has to be what they mean.' She pulled her friend even closer and looked deeply into those amazing blue eyes. "I'll kiss you like that anytime you want me to Soli; just say the word."

"Please..." she replied, desire now clearly evident in her features and body language. "I want you so badly Ephiny..." Her hands moved of their own accord and settled over her friend's rear. She squeezed softly, pulling closer and pressing her body tightly against the blonde's own. "Please..." she said again.

Ephiny groaned and brought her lips against Solari's in a passionate kiss. Tongues intertwined and hands roamed freely, exploring every inch of each other. They fell to the ground, Ephiny's lips seeking the soft skin of her soon to be lover's neck, and hands finding their way beneath the suddenly encumbering top Solari was wearing. Her breath was coming faster and her head was spinning trying to keep up with the emotions that were flooding her senses. She tugged at her lover's article of clothing. "This," she managed between gasps for air, "has to go." 

Solari nodded her head and raised herself up a bit to allow Ephiny to remove the annoying garment. Her breath caught as she stared unabashedly at her friends body. "Solari....sweet Artemis...." she gasped as in turn, her top was being raised and removed...slowly...so agonizingly slowly she thought she would die of anticipation. Then hands were beneath her skirt and making their way up her thigh in an altogether extremely teasing fashion. She closed her eyes to the sensation, intent on feeling everything this moment had to offer.

"Make love to me Ephiny; make me yours." breathed Solari into her lover's ear. "I want it to be you. I've always wanted it to be you Eph, and no one else."

Ephiny's heart seemed to be caught in her throat, making it hard to do anything, especially talk...but this sudden admission by her friend required an admission of her own... "Gods Soli...you mean you've never...."

"No, never. I was waiting for you."

Ephiny swallowed hard. "Me either." Another swallow. "I'm not sure I know what to do."

Solari pulled the blonde to her and their bodies slid against each other, sending tendrils of pure, sensual pleasure through them both. "Trust me, you are doing just fine." Ephiny's lips once again attached themselves to her neck, and she sucked in her breath in response. "Oh yeah, just f - fine..." Her lips moved lower across her collarbone and into the hollow of her throat. "Oh gods." She breathed as those lips suddenly were teasing her nipple, and hands roamed lower.

By this time, Ephiny was completely into what was happening. She forgot about her nervousness, and her inexperience, and concentrated instead on the soft, guttural sounds coming from her partner. She dipped her head lower, wanting to run her lips over every part of Solari's body. Gods this woman was beautiful beyond anything she had ever laid eyes on. She ran her fingers up her friend's sides and down again, feeling the gooseflesh pop up, and thrilled to the feeling of hips moving against her chest. 'Well, it's now or never.' She thought, and scooted lower, her fingers tracing paths along the inside of Solari's thighs. She felt trembling hands wrap themselves in her hair in encouragement.

"Eph, please...oh gods, please..."

That was enough to cast her final fears of incompetence to the wayside, and she softly ran her fingers along her lover's most private of places. She brought her head down to take the place of her hand and was almost slammed into unconsciousness by the feel beneath her tongue. Solari's hips jerked in response, making her think for a moment she had done something wrong, but to her surprise, hips began rocking against her relentlessly, sending her to dizzying heights she had never thought possible. She watched the expressions on her lover's face, thrilled that she was the one responsible for it all. She gently pushed her fingers just inside and hesitated, not sure if she had the right to take this from her friend.

"Do it."

Their eyes met and held and Eph pushed in all the way, feeling the muscles clench around her. Solari cried out and a tear made it's way slowly down her cheek. "Soli...you ok?"

"Y-y-yes....don't stop now..." Came the plea, and who was Ephiny to deny it? She gently began her administrations again, and now it seemed more intense...more sensual the way Solari's legs wrapped around her. Then she felt inner muscles tightening, and heard the short gasps of breath from her lover.

"Oh my gods..." Uttered Solari as her world exploded into a thousand different sensations. Her back arched and she held onto Ephiny for dear life, wondering if she was going to live through this or not.

When the shaking finally subsided, Ephiny crawled up her new lover, bestowing sweet kisses on every inch of flesh along the way. Solari reached for her and drew her into her arms.

"Was that..."

"Yeah, I think so."

"Wow. I did that for you..." A huge smile broke across Ephiny's features.

"Yeah...I'll say. Boy did you ever..." They giggled as an involuntary shudder shook her again.

"Was it ok?"

Solari took the head of blonde curls in her hands and kissed the lips she found there with every ounce of passion she had in her. She then flipped her lover over, and pinned her arms over her head. "Oh yeah....more than ok."

Ephiny gulped audibly as Solari lowered herself down upon her.

"Don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon there Eph....we're not finished yet." She was about to help the blonde divest herself of that annoying leather skirt when they heard a twig snap a short distance away...

Ephiny shot up to a half-sitting position, accidentally throwing her partner off her and onto the ground. She grimaced when she heard the thud, and mumbled a quick apology as she fumbled for her clothes. Finding them, she threw her top over her head and took off towards where the sound had come from. She reached a line of high bushes, and peering behind she found a set of footprints.

Solari had found her own clothes and ran up to her friend. "Was someone here?"

"Yeah." replied Ephiny with a scowl on her face. She reached over to a leaf and pulled something off of it. She held the strands of long red hair up for Solari to see. "Terreis."

Ephiny's long strides were eating up the ground. She had long since left a huffing and puffing Solari behind, and was racing headlong towards the village. Rounding the last turn in the path, she saw the princess fling open the door to her hut and rush inside, slamming it closed behind her. "Aw rats!" She pumped her arms harder trying to draw out some last reserve of speed, until she came skidding to a halt in front of Terreis' hut. She just stood there for a moment trying to figure out what to stay when she heard a loud crash come from inside, followed by two more crashes and a clang. Swallowing, she tentatively knocked on the door frame.

"Terreis, it's me Ephiny. We need to talk."

"Go away Ephiny! I have nothing to say to you."

"Please Ter...let me explain - "

"Explain?" was the reply, followed by a very hurt sounding laugh. "There's nothing to explain...I think what I saw explained quite enough thank you."

She heard the choked back sobs, and with a wrenching gut she opened the door and slid inside, only to be greeted by a dagger whizzing past her ear and embedding itself in the door frame. Her eyes whipped to where the knife was still shaking from it's impact with the frame, then over to where the princess had secluded herself in the corner of the room. "Hey! Ter, now that was close!"

"The next one won't miss Ephiny. Leave me alone."

"I can't. We need to talk this out."

"Like I said, there is nothing to discuss."

Ephiny took a deep breath before continuing. "I never intended to hurt you ya know..."

"Yeah? Well guess what? You did. And what hurts the most is that you felt you couldn't even be up front with me about it." A sigh. "Instead you run around behind my back and go sleep with her." This time she couldn't stop the tears from falling, and she buried her face in her hands.

"Now just you wait a second here!" Replied Ephiny. "It's not like you and me were ever an item. You seem to be forgetting that."

Terreis's hands moved away from her tear-streaked face and her eyes shot up to confront the blonde's. "But you knew how I felt about you Ephiny!" More tears came. "You knew and you did it anyhow..."

Eph sighed. "Yes I knew....but honestly Ter, have I ever returned those feelings?" She crossed the floor to kneel down beside the Princess. "Have I ever once told you I felt the same?" Her question was answered by a reluctant nod of a head. "Then how can you justify what you are doing to me right now? Yes, I was wrong in not telling you first, because I knew how you felt for me, but then again I knew this is the reaction I would get!" She stood and began pacing the floor as she spoke. "It's not like I planned on hurting you, and it's not like I planned how I would feel for Solari! I can't control who I fall in love with." She stopped in mid-pace, realizing what she had just admitted.

Terreis's head fell forward as the words echoed in her head. "So you are in love with her then." She sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

"I...I....I guess I am..." Her eyes met the princess's. "I really didn't know myself Ter...honest."

"So there is no chance for me at all then?" Forlorn green eyes peered at her from under swollen lids.

Ephiny's conscience was having a helluva grand time messing with her now. But she knew she had to end it here. "I can't see into the future Ter, but as of right now the answer is no." She crossed the floor again, knelt down and took a small, trembling hand into her own. She raised it to her lips and brushed a gentle kiss across the knuckles. "I do care for you...just not in the way you want me to I'm afraid."

Terreis cleared her throat. "I'm sorry I acted so childish."

"It's ok....we all have our times." Ephiny stood and reached down to the redhead. Her forearm was grasped and she hauled the princess to her feet. "Friends?"

Terreis looked warily at Eph before finally answering. She nodded her head. "Yes...ok. Friends."

Ephiny's face broke into a wide smile. "Thank you."

"For what?" replied the princess.

"For not killing me with the dagger."

Terreis returned the smile. "Oh....well actually I was aiming for you, I just missed." She turned towards the door of the hut, and heard the gulp behind her. As she exited, she turned back and added with a wink. "Just kidding." And she was gone.

Ephiny made her way outside into the sunshine, feeling like there was nothing in the world that could ruin the euphoric feeling inside of her at that moment. She was now free to pursue her relationship with Solari, and not have to worry about the consequences. Ah, life couldn't be better. She made her way across the compound towards her own hut, where she was hoping to find her new love waiting for her.

The procession made its way slowly towards the village, flanked by two score Amazon warriors in full attire. As it reached the central square it slowed, being met by the Queen and her guard.

"Who is it Eph?" asked Solari as she bounced up and down to see over the heads in front of her, all the while muttering curses pertaining to her Sardinian heritage.

"I can't see!" Whined Eph as she tried to push her way to the front of the crowd. "Pony...c'mere!" Her friend trotted over in response. "Get on your knees." she ordered.

"Wh-what? Ephiny!" Eponin shot a very scared look Solari's way, then back to Ephiny. "What for?"

"Just do it - hurry!!" Losing her patience with her fer friend, she grabbed Ep and pushed her down. She climbed on her shoulders and cried out, "Take me up!"

"YOU are crazy Ephiny! Get off me!!!"

"Pony, come on! I just gotta see who that is!" She batted her eyelashes at her friend.

"Aw Hades, why ya gotta play so dirty? Ok." Eponin struggled to get to her feet with the added weight of her friend upon her back.

"Higher...higher! Eponin...please?" begged the blonde, and was rewarded when she finally got her eyes above the feather line in front of her. Melosa had dismounted and was walking forward towards the visitors. Ephiny's eyes squinted and she quickly brought her hand up to shield her eyes from the bright sunlight, nearly toppling them over backwards.

"Cut out the jigglin up there Eph!" yelled Eponin. "I ain't no trick Pony you know!" Giggles came from Solari's direction. "Oh put a horseshoe in it already Miss Fancy-Leathers!" she commented in the brunette's general direction while desperately trying to keep her cargo in the upright position. "If you hadn't kidnapped Eph, we mighta made it here earlier." Ephiny shifted again, and Pony barely caught her footing as she stumbled for her center of balance.

"Don't be jealous of me because you can't get a date Pony!" Solari snickered under her breath.

Eponin's face turned a brilliant shade of angry right then, "Why I oughta - "

"Stop! Stop you two!!" Hollered the blonde from her perch above the crowd. "Melosa is walking out to meet their leader..."

All movement and bickering stopped and Ephiny's eyes tracked to the lead horse. The rider swiftly dismounted and began to walk forward towards the queen.

"Well?" inquired a very impatient Solari.

Eph squinted some more. "He's wearing some kind of drape over his face, I can't see him. He's tall though, and looks quite imposing." She craned her neck as Melosa and the warrior stopped a foot away from each other. She watched closely as the rider began to remove his head covering. "He's taking it off..."

Eponin and Solari looked at each other excitedly as the anticipation of the moment grabbed them by their britches and yanked hard.

The warrior kneeled before Melosa, fully removed the item blocking the blonde's view, bowed a dark head, and softly placed a kiss upon the back of the queen's extended hand. "By the gods!" gasped the blonde.

"What? What? Eph come on...tell!" Whined Eponin from beneath her.

"It's a woman!" yelled Ephiny as the entire village sucked in a collective breath and simultaneously turned to stare at her. No sooner were the words out before she clapped both hands over her own mouth. The woman's eyes snapped to meet hers, and she felt the power...the strength...the pure magnetism that emanated from behind them. She was spellbound by them. One of the warrior's eyebrows rose and an amused smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

That was enough for Ephiny.

Her eyes rolled up in her head, and she toppled over backwards, taking poor ol Ep with her.

"Eph! Blasted woman! Off me NOW!" cried Pony as she struggled to get out from under her friend's dead weight. She finally managed to disentangle herself and rolled Ephiny over. "Hades! Solari, go get some water!"

Her friend ran up. "Why? Is she ok?"

"Oh yeah, she's ok...she PASSED OUT is what she did." Ep replied as she began patting her friend's cheek. "Eph. Eph! Wake up ya big dummy!" She was rewarded by movement from the blonde and turned to holler to Solari she didn't need the water after all, when suddenly a pair of hands were around her neck and dragging her down. Before she could react, soft lips were on her own and kissing her very thoroughly. Ephiny whispered softly against her lips, "Solari..." and pressed her lips to Pony's again.

Eponin was in shock. She couldn't move...she couldn't breathe...she couldn't stop it. (Now mind you all, our beloved Pony is a bit on the shy side, and had never kissed a woman in her life.) She felt the lips slowly pull back and she sighed sadly. She glanced down, just in time to see Ephiny's eyes glance up to meet hers. Their eyes went wide with surprise as they realized what had just happened, and they let out a yelp as they scrambled apart as fast as they could.

"Pony! What are you doing?" said the blonde, still backing away.

"Me? No, no, no, Eph...you kissed me."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Did not. Would not. Could not. Wasn't me."

"Yes...it was. But...don't worry. I know you thought I was Solari when you woke up." She sighed. "It's ok."

"Oh yeah now I remember." said Ephiny, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs. "Oh my gods."

"Eph, hey come on! Was it that bad?" said the young warrior, dropping her eyes and looking a little hurt.

"No Pony....the woman..."

"The woman?" Eponin's brows scrunched up. "Oh yeah, the woman! Who was it? What happened? And WHY did you pass out??" She offered her arm and helped her friend to her feet.

"I don't know who it was Pony," Replied the blonde. "but I'll tell you one thing..."

"What's that?"

"She has the most incredible blue eyes I have ever seen."

***

"Shoot Eph, I wanna know who that was now....if her just lookin at you made you faint dead away, she's really got to be something..." stated Eponin as they trudged across the compound towards the dining hall.

"Pony...all I can say is holy Zeus! It was like being smacked in the face with a hammer..." Ephiny's hands were gesturing wildly now. "I felt completely exposed to that gaze...so unsettling."

Their conversation was interrupted as Solari came trotting up carrying a waterskin. "Oh...I guess you're ok then sweetheart?" She tossed the skin to the wayside.

"Yes...I'm fine. Just threw me for a loop is all. I didn't mean to blurt that out, and then to have that gaze turned on me? I swear it was the most intense stare I have ever been on the receiving end of!" Catching the sudden shift in Solari's mood at that sentence, she smiled warmly at her lover and snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Aw Soli, don't get your leathers in a bind, you know I only have eyes for you." And with that she placed a soft kiss on the brunette's cheek.

"Well good, because for a moment there I thought you might be getting the lusties for the Warrior Princess." Replied her partner with a relieved look.

"The Warrior Princess?" Blurted Eponin. "The Warrior Princess? Xena? Oh my Gods! What's she doing here?"

Ephiny turned to her now stammering friend. "You mean you've heard of her Pony?"

"Gods yes! Have you been locked in a closet Eph? She's only the most feared warlord around. In fact, I heard she killed two hundred men with her own hands during the battle of Corinth!"

Solari's eyes were now wide with amazement. "You're kidding! Wow...a woman warlord, how cool."

Ephiny's brow was furrowed in thought. "Hmmmm, yeah, I think I remember hearing something about that. Question is...what's she doing here?"

"Oh, she's here to see Melosa." stated Solari offhandedly.

"And just how do you know all this Solari?" asked Ephiny.

"I heard some of the guard talking about it."

Eponin trotted a few paces ahead of the group and turned to walk backwards. "Melosa? Well, that would explain why we have never been attacked."

Ephiny's eyebrows shot up drastically. "Pony, are you implying that Melosa and Xena are...well...you know...lovers?"

"It would make sense Eph..." interjected Solari. "And to be honest, if what Pony says is true about her battle prowess, I'm certainly all for it."

"Agreed." Ephiny's attention was caught by a wildly waving Terreis, who was seated on a shaded bench near the dining hall. "Uh oh, look over there." She jerked her head toward the redhead. "We are being summoned."

"Rats!" said Eponin. "Just when I thought this was going to be a good day."

"Now now, Pony, calm your feathers down. If anyone should be annoyed it's me." stated Ephiny as they neared where the princess was seated.

"I know, I know...she just makes me nervous is all..."

Solari smacked Eponin in the back of the head. "Well get over it!"

"Easy for you to say..." she mumbled as they came to a halt in front of Terreis.

"Princess..." Ephiny bowed her head in acknowledgment to the title.

"Ephiny, good to see you." Her gaze flitted from one to the other, coming to rest on Eponin. "Pony...just the person I wanted to see."

Eponin gulped audibly. "Me? What did I do?"

Terreis broke into light laughter. "Nothing Eponin." She paused momentarily, then stood and walked up to a completely confounded Pony. "I was just wondering if you might join me for dinner in the Queen's hut this evening?"

Ep took a moment to glance behind her to see if Terreis had been talking to someone else. Seeing no one, she turned back to the princess, a flush beginning to creep up into her cheeks. "Um, are you sure you want me to accompany you? I'm sure there are others you would like to take." She suddenly found her boots very interesting. "Why me?"

Terreis smiled warmly at the now furiously blushing amazon before her. "Come with me," She said, holding out her hand, "and I'll be more than happy to explain."

Ephiny and Solari looked at each other and grinned. "Go on Pony..." said the blonde as she turned her attention back to the other two women. "We'll save you some lunch."

Eponin took a deep breath. "Ok." She reached out and tentatively placed her hand in Terreis' still extended one. As they began to walk away, she shot a look over her shoulder to her two giggling friends. "Help!" she mouthed, and then they were gone.

"I don't believe it." stated Ephiny, letting out a held breath.

"Me either. What's up with that?"

"Haven't a clue. All i can say is..,Yahoo!" Ephiny swept her lover into her arms and began dancing across the courtyard.

"Eph...Eph! Come on! People are starting to stare...."

"I don't care Soli!" She dipped the brunette and kissed her lips. "She's outta my hair...." She began giggling as she hugged her girlfriend. "I am so happy I could kiss a centaur!"

"Eww...Eph honey, if you do that, I will never touch those lips with any part of me ever again!" Solari shivered at the thought. "Yuck!"

"I'm just kidding Soli...hey, let's get some lunch."

"Lead on darlin, lead on. I'm famished!"

***

Ephiny awoke to the sound of rapping on her door. She wrapped her arms tighter around her lover and ignored it. More insistent rapping. "Alright, alright! I'm coming!" She regretfully released the warm body she was wrapped around and rolled over to the edge of the bed.

"Who is it honey?" inquired a sleepy voice from under the blankets.

"Don't know, haven't got to the door yet." The knocking came again, louder. "I said I'm coming! Geeeesh! Can't a person get any sleep around here?" Wrapping one of the blankets around herself, she stumbled groggily to the door and opened it a crack.

The door burst open and an extremely disheveled Eponin came barreling in. Ephiny took one look at her friend's wild hairdo and burst out laughing. "Pony...was there a windstorm or something?"

With that comment Solari sat up and rubbed her eyes. "By the gods Eponin, what happened to you??"

"What happened? What happened? I'll tell you what happened!! She attacked me! That's what happened!" She threw herself into an empty chair and pouted. She pointed at Ephiny. "This is all YOUR fault!" She said, "You had to go and dump her didn't you?"

Ephiny closed the door and crossed the room, taking a seat next to her friend. "Whoa, whoa Pony, slow down here. You're blaming me because Terreis is after you?"

"YES!" She crossed her arms and snorted her displeasure at the situation.

Ephiny chuckled. "You should be thanking me Pony. You could do a lot worse you know."

"Oh yeah....so you say." she blew out an exasperated breath. "She was all over me! I practically had to beat her off with my chobos!!"

Solari slid up behind Ephiny, and bending down she encircled her arms around her lovers' neck. "Pony, can I ask you something?" she said.

"Oh I guess so Soli...what is it?"

"Do you think she's cute?"

"Well...well...yeah, maybe...she might be semi-good-looking, in a redheaded sorta way..."

"Hmmmm.....then what's the problem?"

"Aw shoot Soli! Why ya givin me the third degree? Ok, maybe I'm just nervous...is that what you were getting at?" Her bottom lip poked out even more as the conversation continued.

"Well....um, have you ever been with a woman Pony?"

Eponin's eyes went wide and she looked away. Ephiny and Solari both exchanged knowing smiles.

"Ok..." Said the brunette. "You don't have to answer that one. But if you haven't, and you're worried about anything, you know you can talk to us Pony. We're your best friends, and we'll always be here for you."

"Awwwww, all you guys do is poke fun at me."

"Only because we love you Pony." said Ephiny noticing something she didn't before. "And just because you have a big hickey on your neck doesn't mean we'll make fun of you." She began giggling, and Solari joined her as she looked and saw it too.

Eponin had had enough. "I come to you guys to help me out, and all you can do is joke around! Thanks a LOT!" She stood and dashed out the door, leaving her two friends sitting there feeling like complete jerks.

"Hmmmm..." said Solari. "I think we messed up."

"Yeeeeah...I'd better get dressed and go fix it."

"Good idea. I'll wait for you here."

"Gee Soli, thanks for the moral support." She pulled the brunette into her arms and gave her a long kiss that left Solari speechless. "But I still love you." She grinned as she released her lover to find some more suitable clothes than the bedcover she was presently wearing. She dressed hurriedly and with a quick peck, she rushed out the door after her distraught friend.

***

Ephiny strode purposefully across the courtyard, eyes darting back and forth in hopes of spotting her friend. 'If I'm gonna find me a Pony, I'm gonna have to think like a Pony....where would I go if I was Pony and I was really upset?' she thought as she walked on. She really felt bad for making fun of Eponin. 'Of all the stupid things to say! Sometimes I wonder how she puts up with me at all!' Her brow creased in thought as she continued out of the village and down a path leading into the forest. "Artemis!" she called out into thin air..."Help me find her please, and I promise I'll make more trips to your temple!" She laughed out loud at herself. Imagine her - Ephiny - asking a goddess for help. Absurd! She didn't need help. After all she was one of the best trackers in the village.

Two candlemarks later, she was still wandering aimlessly through the woods, having lost Pony's trail a candlemark before. "Guess she doesn't want to be found." she sighed hopelessly. Finding a nice log, she sat down to think. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of children's laughing, coming from somewhere to her left. "Children playing this far from the village? That's odd..." She thought, and rose to investigate.

She came to the edge of a small clearing and saw three little girls playing tag. One of them was chasing the other two, and they were taunting and teasing her every time she missed them.

"Nah nah...you can't catch me!" yelled the little blonde headed girl. She stopped dead in her tracks and waited until the dark haired girl with the ponytail was almost upon her, then she ducked under the stretched out arm and dashed away to the other side of the clearing.

The girl with the ponytail stopped running and bent over trying to catch her breath.

"Pony...what's wrong? You out of breath already? Gods, you couldn't catch a blind cyclops!" said the third little girl. Ephiny's breath caught in her throat. 'No, can't be!' she thought.

"Awwwww Soli, come on, that's not fair! I'm ALWAYS the tagger! Why don't you or Eph be the tagger for once huh?"

Ephiny's eyes went buggy as she realized what she was watching. She pinched herself just to make sure. "Ouch! Ok ok, i believe it geeeesh!" She turned her eyes once again to the scene playing out before her....

"Pony, it's not our fault you can't play 'Rock, Parchment, Dagger' worth a dinar! You lost, so you are the tagger. Live with it!" replied her younger self, stamping her foot in annoyance. "Now come on, and let's keep playing!"

The young Eponin's eyes fell to the ground, and Ephiny knew her feelings were hurt. 'Boy was I rotten to her when we were younger or what?' she thought. She watched as lil Pony stood up and walked away from the clearing, leaving her friends behind.

"Pony come back! You can't quit!" said her young self. "If you don't come back and play now, we won't play with you ever again!" Ephiny shook her head at the heartlessness of her own words. Her eyes followed the retreating form of Eponin slipping into the forest. She made a quick decision. Silently she got up and started to trail the girl. She heard the mocking laughter coming from the clearing, and saw Pony turn her head at the sound. "Oh my gods...she's crying!" thought Ephiny as she saw the tears rolling down that cute little face, and silently cursed herself for being so cruel to her friend all those years ago. 'Damn!'

She followed Eponin for about a half candlemark, and slowed as the girl slowed down ahead of her. She stopped completely, ducking quickly behind a tree as Pony looked around to make sure no one saw her. Satisfied she wasn't followed, she slipped between two large boulders set at the bottom of a small hill and disappeared from sight.

Ephiny jerked awake, and found herself reclining not so comfortably against the log she was sitting on before. 'Wow, I must have dozed off' she thought. Then she remembered her dream. 'Gods...that was a weird one.' She stood up and brushed off her leathers, and as she was doing so, it hit her. "That's where she is!" She took off running into the forest.

***

It took her awhile but she found the entrance to the cave. 'I sure hope you're in there Eponin, otherwise I'm going to feel like a complete dork!' She brushed a stray curl behind her ear and slowly slid between the boulders. She came into a narrow passageway that looked like it went on for at least thirty paces, then turned sharply to the right. Silently she crept along the corridor til she came to the corner. Her ears picked up the muffled sniffles and her heart wrenched inside her chest. 'Damn! Why can't I do anything right? Just once!' she scolded herself. Peeking her head around the corner, she saw Eponin sitting against the far wall, head hung low, knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Carefully, she stepped out where her friend could see her. "Hiya Pony."

Eponin's head snapped up and she jerked in surprise. "Ephiny! Wh-what are you doing here?"

Eph slowly closed the distance between them. "I came looking for you."

Pony snorted. "Why bother? Unless of course you're just here to make fun of me some more..." She hung her head again.

"No, that's not why I'm here." She stopped next to her friend and took a seat next to her on the floor. "I'm here because I was a real jerk to you, because I treated you bad, because I don't take you seriously enough most of the time, and because I owe you an apology." She sighed. "Although I'm pretty sure an apology isn't good enough to fix all the damage I've done since we were kids."

Eponin raised her head to regard her friend. "You really mean that Eph?"

"Hades yes I mean it." She met Eponin's even gaze. "Pony, I am so sorry for anything I've ever done that caused you pain. You are my best friend in the whole world, and Gods know I never intentionally meant to hurt you." A tear squeezed out from her eye as she spoke, and Eponin reached over to brush it away.

"It's ok Eph. I know you didn't mean it." She took a breath and composed herself. "But even though I know it, it still hurts sometimes. I forgive you." She smiled at the blonde.

Ephiny's face broke into a wide smile, and she pulled Pony into a big bear hug that had the woman gasping for air before she let her go. "I love you Pony."

"Love you too, Ephie."

"Don't let anyone hear you call me that ok?"

"Ok Ephie." A wry grin accompanied the comment.

"Damn you to Tartarus, Pony. Let's go get some dinner ok?"

"Ok. Hey....how did you find me anyhow?"

The blonde's forehead creased as she tried to think of how to answer that. "I sorta ran into three little girls playing in a clearing, and they had seen you pass by earlier." Ephiny hoped she was lying convincingly enough. There was no way she could explain how she did it, she just did.

"Wow, what were they doing all the way out here in the woods? It's too dangerous for them to be out this far!" Replied Eponin.

"Well I didn't ask them why they were there, they just pointed me in your direction and I was gone. I really needed to find you Pony, I was worried about you."

"Awwww Eph, thanks. You're the best friend any amazon could have." She smiled warmly at her friend as they began the trip back to the village.

A whispered "You're welcome...." was carried along the breeze, unheard by the two friends as they made their way home.

***

"So, did you want to talk about Terreis? I promise I'll listen this time." said Ephiny, glancing over at her friend as they walked along the forest path together.

Eponin laughed a little. "Well, I'm not really sure what I wanted to talk about....It's just all so strange to me."

"What's so strange about it? The fact that you like her?"

"No...no, just the opposite." Pony's eyes drifted to the ground. "I mean, why would she like me?"

"Oh come on Pony....you can't be serious!" replied Ephiny in a surprised tone of voice. One look at her friend's face told her she was indeed being truthful.

Eponin shrugged. "Eph....we all know I'm not you or Solari. Let's face it, I'm basically pretty average."

"Average?" A chuckle. "Pony, you are FAR from average!" She was rewarded with an incredulous look from her stoic buddy. "Do you know how many of us wish we had your talent with weapons?" Ep shook her head no. "Well it's true! And aside from that, I think you're quite lovely." An even more incredulous look followed that comment, "And I'm not the only one that thinks that either. It's quite obvious Terreis thinks so as well."

Eponin's eyes were quite wide at that moment and her mouth hung slightly open. "No way Eph..."

"Way."

"Really?" "Yes really. Pony, you have these awesome big brown eyes, and a great smile....not to mention a damn killer body!" Ephiny smiled warmly. "Granted, your shyness and all-around generally stoic attitude makes it a bit hard to approach you most of the time, but there are quite a few ladies around who wouldn't think twice about spending some time with you." She rested her hand on her friend's shoulder as they approached the last turn in the path before the village.

"Wow." replied Eponin. "I never knew that." Her eyebrows drew together in thought for a moment. "I guess I may have been spending a little too much time with the sword huh?"

A laugh escaped the blonde. "A little? Pony, if anyone needs to find you, we always know to look at the practice field. You're always there!"

"Alright, alright...point made Eph." She sighed. "So ummm, about Terreis..."

"Yes? What about her?"

"Ahhh geeez Eph, this is sorta hard to say..."

"Pony, I'm your friend...you can tell me anything."

"Ok...well, ummm, shoot. Eph?" Eponin looked shyly at her friend. "Soli was right. I've never been with anyone before. And to be quite honest here, I'm sorta scared I won't measure up."

Ephiny's heart opened to her friend at these words. "Well, all I can say is I don't think Terreis has either Pony." She reached out and wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulder as they approached the village. "I didn't have a clue either, aside from the scrolls I had read in the library..." Her voice lowered drastically. "And those don't even come close to what it's really like."

Eponin turned another wide-eyed look on her friend. "Really?"

"Yeah...it's so much more wonderful than anything that could ever be put into words." She smiled. "All I can say is if you don't feel comfortable, then don't do it. But if you really do like Terreis, and I suspect you do and just aren't admitting it, then I would say don't worry about it and just go with your heart."

"Hmmmm...maybe you're right Eph. I mean...I do like her. She's just so...so...aggressive!"

Ephiny couldn't help it as she burst into laughter. Eponin shot her a grimace. "Ok ok....well, if you want my advice..."

"I do...I do! Please...anything...."

"Alright, I had the same problem at the beginning with her, and what I did was sit her down and tell her how it was gonna be...you know...my feelings. And I explained she couldn't be like that with me. After that she calmed down a lot."

"Huh. I guess it couldn't hurt to give it a shot."

"No...couldn't hurt at all. And besides, if she continues Pony, you can always dump her." 

"Dump her? Gods Eph...and have to go through the worry you had to go through? That's like the career-kiss-of-death!”

Ephiny laughed again. "Naaaaah, it only seems that way." She grinned at her friend as they passed through the gates into the village. "It passes. Besides, I think you two make a great looking couple."

Eponin's face turned a lovely shade of red, the blush covering every inch of her exposed skin. "Awwww, well maybe I should give her a chance then huh? I mean....she likes me and all..."

"Exactly!" replied Ephiny. "Go for it."

"Ok I will!" She smiled. Thanks for listening Eph...you're the best." She gave the blonde a fierce hug. "Well, I'm gonna go look for my girl then..." A quick smile, and she was gone.

"Well...." thought Eph. "I sure hope you can handle her Pony." She giggled as she made her way across the compound to find her lover.

***

Eponin picked her way through the crowd to the Queen's hut. Since it was midday, she knew Terreis would be there, going over the proposed treaty with the warlord Xena. Reaching her destination, she rapped on the door frame.

"Enter." came Melosa's voice from inside.

Pony pushed open the door and walked in. "My Queen." said Eponin, bowing her head.

"What is it Eponin."

"I wish to speak with the Princess." Her eyes raised and found Terreis' own green ones looking at her. Eponin smiled.

"Certainly. We were almost done here anyways." The look didn't go unnoticed by Melosa. "You are excused Terreis."

"Thank you my Queen." She walked over to Pony. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. Would you care to join me for a walk by the lake?"

"Oh yeah, that would be wonderful! It's such a lovely day too."

"Alright then..." replied Pony, holding her arm out to the princess. "Shall we?"

Terreis slipped her arm through the brunette's and placed her free hand over the one attached to Pony's arm. "Lead on." She gave the arm a slight squeeze.

Eponin's face broke into a wide grin. "Your wish is my command." She lead the way out into the sunshine and across the courtyard.

They walked in relative silence until they reached the lake. Rounding a curve in the path, Terreis saw a blanket laid out along the shore, along with two wineskins and a basket. "Looks like someone had the same idea as us Pony.." she looked around but saw no one. 

Pony led Terreis over to the blanket. "Please, sit."

"You mean this is your stuff?" the princess's eyes widened a bit in disbelief.

"Yes, this is my stuff." she grinned. "What? Did you think I was completely naive or something?"

Terreis cleared her throat. "Ummm...no...no, I just didn't think - "

"That's the problem Ter...you think too much. Please sit.." said Eponin, gesturing for her to do so.

The princess sat down, stretched her legs out in front of her, and leaned back on her arms. She patted the blanket next to her. "Join me."

Eponin seated herself next to Terreis and reached for a wineskin. Grabbing it, she held it out toward her friend. "I brought this for you. I thought you would like it."

The redhead accepted the wineskin and uncapping it, took a long pull. Her eyes lit up as she recognized the flavor. "Strawberry wine? Pony, wherever did you get this?"

"Ahem...well, I had to escort on a recent trip into Athens. We were allowed some free time until the traders were done for the day, and I was just wandering around when I saw this merchant with a table full of wineskins." Glancing at her friend, she saw she had her undivided attention and continued..."My skin was lookin sorta raggedy, so I decided to get me a new one. I asked him 'How much?' He said 'Twenty dinars.' " Terreis's eyes went buggy at the price of the skin, and Eponin went on with her explanation. "I know, but then he told me what was in it..." Her eyes met inquisitive green ones. "I um, knew you liked it...so I got it for you." Now her eyes swept over the ground, a little embarrassed since she wasn't used to expressing herself.

Terreis was totally taken aback. She gazed at this flustered warrior and couldn't help the warm smile that appeared on her face. "You are so sweet..." She reached out and touched the brunette's arm. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

Eponin tried to hide the heat that now rose in her cheeks. "Aw...wasn't nothin."

"Yes it was something." Her hand reached up to push the hair out of Pony's eyes. "You're something..." She leaned over and softly placed her lips over Eponin's. Pulling back, she added. "Thank you for the wine."

Eponin swallowed. "You’re welcome." She couldn't take her eyes from Terreis's. "Beautiful..." her words barely a whisper, but the princess heard it.

Now it was Terreis's turn to blush. "You think so?"

"Absolutely." replied Eponin. "I still have some trouble believing this is real though."

"Believe it." was the reply.

Eponin looked at the redhead. Maybe this was what Ephiny had been talking about. Hmmmm. All she knew was that right then she wanted to be closer to Terreis, that she wasn't feeling insecure anymore. Something about this Amazon princess was pulling her deeper and deeper towards a place she was quite unfamiliar with, and she was running towards it with open arms. She reached out, grasped one of Terreis's hands, and raising it to her mouth brushed her lips softly across the knuckles. She heard the whisper intake of breath from the princess and looked deeply into her eyes. "I care for you very much. Please....may I kiss you?"

"Yes." was the only reply.

Eponin leaned forward, stopping just before their lips met, her eyes searching Terreis's for any sign that this was yet another dream. Satisfied this was indeed real, she brought her lips to meet the princess's own. A chill ran up her back as their kiss deepened, and her arms reached out to draw Terreis closer to her. When she felt arms slide around her as well, she thought she would surely die from the touch alone.

Terreis was shocked at the intensity of emotion flowing through her. Sure, she had liked Ephiny, but it had never done this to her. She moaned softly as Eponin's lips left hers and began to move down her neck to the hollow of her throat. One hand reached and tangled itself in dark hair as she lowered her head to trace her tongue around a sensitive earlobe. "I want to be with you Pony." she whispered.

Eponin stopped her ministrations and raised her head to meet those entrancing green eyes. "That's good...it would've been horrible if I was the only one thinking that..." She smiled. A thought and her face grew somber. "I just hope I don't disappoint you...." Her eyes broke away and found an interesting patch of flowers a short distance away.

Terreis reached out and turned Pony's eyes to meet her own. She looked deeply into them and spoke. "You could never disappoint me."

The kiss blew Eponin's last resolves to shreds. Now unafraid of her inadequacies, she let herself go....letting the feelings course through her and sweep her away to a place she was sure only lovers could go."There you are Pony!!"

Eponin stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the voice behind her. Turning slowly around, she saw Solari gesturing wildy for her to wait up. 'Oh no...here it comes...' was the only thought she had before Soli was upon her.

"I have been looking everywhere for you this morning! Where were you?" blurted Solari, a bit breathlessly.

Ep turned and began to walk towards the bath hut. "Um, I had some things to take care of Soli, that's all..."

"What things? Pony, you knew we were supposed to spar this morning." She held out her arm for Eponin to see, "See what sparring with Ephiny gets me?" She blew hair out of her eyes. "I can't concentrate around her!"

A small chuckle escaped the swordmaster. "Sorry..." She grinned. "I guess I lost track of time." A sly smile unknowingly spread across her face.

Solari did not miss that smile. "Pony...."

"Hmmmm?"

"What is it you're not telling me?"

"What do ya mean?"

"You're hiding something....you have that look on your face..." 

"Me? Nah, I got nothin to hide Soli."

There it was again. This time Solari recognized the grin. "Sure ya don't...sure ya don't. Then explain to me why your skirt is on backwards."

"What?" Eponin's hands and eyes went to the skirt and then realized she'd been had. She raised her eyes to meet laughing blue ones and glared defeatedly. "You don't play fair Solari."

"I play to win." She put her arm around the swordmaster's shoulder and they continued towards the bath hut. "So..." she grinned. "You gonna tell me all about your little tryst with Terreis, or are we going to have to play 'Dunk The Pony' until you do?"

Eponin chuckled. "Ok, ok I'll tell you!" She rolled her eyes as she opened the door to the hut for Solari. "Women! Geeesh..."

***

"So they spent the whole night and most of the morning together! Can you believe it?" related Solari as she tore a hunk of bread from the still warm loaf.

Ephiny leaned back against the wall and stretched her legs out under the table. "Sure I can."

The brunette stopped chewing, and a look of surprise crossed her face. "Huh? What do ya mean 'sure I can'?"

"Just what I said." Eph crossed her arms across her stomach. "I mean, come on Soli....haven't you ever noticed how Pony always got flustered around Terreis?"

"Yeah...so? And that's supposed to mean exactly what?" retorted Solari through a mouthful of food. "She gets flustered at the drop of a hat. The only time she doesn't is when she's got a sword in her hand or something."

"Exactly. And do you remember the time you were sparring with her, and Terreis showed up one morning?" Solari shook her head affirmatively. "Wasn't it you that made the comment afterwards that something really must have gotten into her leathers all of a sudden?"

"Oh yeah, I see what you're getting at." She pulled off another piece of bread and added a good sized slice of cheese to it for taste. "You're trying to say that she liked Terreis way back then aren't you?"

"Yes. It seems pretty obvious now. After the fact I mean."

A complete look of shock spread itself across Solari's face. "Good gods Eph! You mean she's been in love with the princess all this time? Wow." The look changed from shock to utter amusement and a wide grin lit her features as another thought made itself present in her mind. "Now I understand why we didn't see her til this afternoon...."

"Oh?" She giggled. "And that's funny why?"

"Well, Pony must have been making up for all that lost time!" She couldn't hold it back any longer, and burst out into full blown laughter. Ephiny joined her and soon they were both holding their stomachs from the pain. "Talk about pent up sexual frustrations! She's been saving forever!"

More laughter, so loud they were beginning to draw the attention of almost everyone in the food hut. Suddenly, Ephiny had a revelation...."Oh my gods!"

"What?" replied Solari between giggles and gasping for air.

"Do you realize no one has seen Terreis yet today?"

Solari's laughter stopped completely, and her eyes met the blonde's. A very serious look came over her...so serious it even stopped Ephiny's giggle fit. A moment passed before Soli said anything....

"Do you think she's dead?"

That was it for the both of them. Ephiny fell off the bench laughing while tears flowed freely from Solari's eyes as she struggled to maintain a semblance of control. She finally gave in and doubled over, nearly joining her lover on the floor.

"Either that...." blurted the blonde between gasping for air and laughing, "Or we have seriously underestimated Eponin's prowess in the bedroll!"

Quite a few moments passed before they could stand up, albeit wobbly-kneed and all, but they managed. "C'mon Soli, let's get out of here. I think we have a Princess who is in dire need of a serious wake up holler." said Eph, grabbing her friend's hand and heading for the door.

"Sweetheart, have I ever told you just how much I love your devious mind?" replied Solari, allowing herself to be led away.

"I guess you're rubbing off on me Soli..." grinned the blonde as they stepped outside into the sunlight.

"Hmmmm..." replied the brunette.

Ephiny's eyebrows shot up as she caught the change in her friend's tone of voice, and she blushed furiously. "Soli! You are so bad!"

"That's not what you said last night..." stated the brunette in a sultry, low voice. "In fact, I quite recall the sentence...'Oh Solari, baby...you are so good' Or was I hearing things?" She linked her arm through Ephiny's as they continued walking towards Terreis' hut.

By now poor Eph was three shades of purple, with a tinge of magenta mixed in. She cleared her throat and leaned over to whisper in Solari's ear..."After we're done interrogating Terreis, you are sooo going to get paid back for that one dear..."

"Ooo, I can't wait." said her lover with a wistful look in her eye.

"Oh...but you're going to." stated Ephiny matter of factly.

Solari gulped. "You wouldn't!"

Her only answer was a sly grin and a very devilish look from the blonde.

Solari gulped again. "Uh oh."

***

Ephiny and Solari crept silently up to the window of the Princess's hut. Simultaneously, they peeked eyeballs over the sill and were rewarded with the sight of Terreis laying on her stomach, sprawled wildly across her pallet. Ephiny cocked her head as she viewed the mess in the hut. "My my, will you look at that..." she whispered as she pointed at three different spots on the floor. Solari's eyes followed Eph's gesture and she choked back a giggle. "Skirt there, top there, boots over there....Gods! How did her bracers get up there?" She pointed to the sconce on the wall. "Forget I asked, I don't think I really want to know..."

"Eph....hey look over there. Isn't that Pony's regiment sash?"

"Why yes it is Solari." A devious thought came to her as she studied the sash. "Wait here...and above all else, be quiet!"

"What are you gonna do?" whispered a now extremely intrigued Solari. 

"You'll see. Be right back!" With that she slipped away from her lover and crept around to the door of the hut. Ever so carefully, she pushed the door open and slid into the room. Terreis's soft snores almost made her giggle out loud, but she managed to stifle them as she dropped to all fours and inched slowly towards the sash. She caught sight of Solari's wide-eyed look peeking over the window sill, and almost busted out laughing again. 

She waved at her lover as she reached for the item, causing Soli to have to duck down and cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing herself. She tucked the sash into her belt pouch and was just about to leave when another, even more devious idea struck her. Oh yes, this would be the mother of ALL practical jokes! Her attention was drawn to the window where she noticed Solari peeking into the room again. A sly smile stole upon her face, and she put her finger to her lips to make sure Soli wouldn't utter a sound. This was going to be hard enough to pull off without her giggling partner getting her caught in middle of doing it.

Looking around the room, she spied what she needed to put her plan into action. Stealing over to the desk, she grabbed a quill and the ink bottle, and moved stealthily over to the bed to stand on Terreis's blind side. (just in case she woke up) She glanced over to the window to find Solari's mouth hanging wide open in complete disbelief. She grinned as she uncorked the bottle and dipped the quill into the dark blue liquid. 'They must have really drank a lot last night....this is almost too easy!' She thought to herself as she scribed some letter's on the back of the princess's shoulders. Ephiny froze in mid-stroke as Terreis stirred in her sleep. "Oh Pony, that feels so nice..." It was everything Eph could do to keep the laughter from escaping her. 'My my Eponin, I never knew!' she thought amusedly to herself as the princess stilled and returned to her nap. She resumed her writing. A few more strokes and she was done. Capping the bottle, she strode over to the desk and replaced the items exactly as she had found them, being careful to wipe the excess ink off the tip of the quill. Then she silently exited the hut.

She made it exactly five paces out before her arm was grabbed and she she was being dragged off into the main courtyard.

"BY THE GODS EPHINY!" squealed the brunette as they got out of earshot of the hut. "Have you completely lost every last bit of your mind?" She stared into her lover's eyes. "I can't BELIEVE you did that!!!" She began giggling. "I'm so proud of you darling!" And with that she slapped her partner on her back, almost knocking her off balance. "I couldn't have thought up anything more delightfully evil myself!"

Ephiny chuckled. "Well....it was just one of those spur of the moment kinda things Soli." She grinned and leaned in to whisper in her lover's ear. "And it doesn't end there...." She pulled out the sash and waved it in front of Solari's face. "This....." she beamed at her brilliance..."is going to come in very handy. Follow me..."

She walked back over to Terreis's hut and ceremoniously hung the sash on a nail above the door.

Solari just stood there grinning. "You are so so bad Ephiny." She entwined her arm with that of her lover's as they walked away. "Have I told you lately how much I adore your devious side darling?"

"Yes, but I love hearing it." She cast a look at the brunette walking at her side. "I believe we have some business to attend to on the other side of the village, do we not?"

Solari glanced up to see the gleam in Ephiny's eyes. "Oh yes...business. Lots of it too. Could take a long time to sort through it all...."

"Yes....we'd better get to it then..." replied the blonde with a smile. Their pace quickened as they made a bee-line towards their hut.

***

Terreis woke about mid-afternoon. Sitting up, she stretched and noticed a tight feeling in her shoulders. "Wow, maybe I can get Pony to take care of that for me later." She grinned to herself as she remembered the events of the previous evening. "Since it's her fault and all." Smiling she looked around her hut. "Holy Zeus!" She chuckled at the mess. "Who would have ever thought Eponin could be so wild!" Another grin as she found her skirt and slid it up over her hips, fastening it with the belt she found lying ten feet away. "Not that I minded one bit though." Finding her top, she slid that over her head, noticing again the tight feeling across her shoulders. "Definitely have to find Pony to take care of this." She slid into her boots as she found them, and glanced around for her bracers. "How did that get up there?" she wondered as she pulled the second one off the sconce on the wall. "No matter." Another giggle as she tried to straighten the muss of red locks falling across her shoulders. She walked out the door and into the sunshine, squinting at the brightness of it and headed towards Pony's hut.

She felt eyes on her as she crossed the square, and heard quite a few giggles and chuckles as well. But when she turned around to see what the fuss was about, the giggling stopped. "That's strange..." she thought. She turned around and continued walking, passing by three members of her sister's guard. There it was again! They were giggling! She turned in a huff to confront them....

"WHAT is so funny this morning?" she fumed at them, stopping them dead in their tracks and eliciting a very scared, wide-eyed look as well.

"N - nothing my Princess." replied one of them. "Our apologies for disturbing your walk."

Terreis turned and stomped off. "Some people!" she thought to herself.

She reached Eponin's hut and knocked. "Come in!" came the reply from inside.

Terreis opened the door and strode in. Pony was sitting at the table sharpening her sword, but put it aside when she saw it was her princess. She stood and met her lover midway across the room, slinging her arms around her and bestowing a very sensual kiss upon her lips.

"Mmm...." said Terreis as she pulled back to gaze into the brunette's eyes. "I sure could get to liking that on a regular basis Pony..."

Eponin blushed shyly and cleared her throat. "Count on it." she replied. "So what are your plans for today Ter?" She turned and led the princess to a chair. "Have a seat."

"Well, I woke up with stiff shoulders Pony..." Her eyes met Eponin's. "I was hoping you might be able to fix that..." A seductive smile moved onto her face and her green eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Well..." Replied Pony. "Personally I can't think of anything I would rather be doing Ter, than letting my hands roam all over your body." Her lips twitched into a sly grin. "Maybe you'd like to get a little more comfortable over there on the bed....you know, that way I can have an easier time getting those nasty kinks out.."

"Oh yes, definitely." replied the redhead. She stood and crossed the floor to the pallet.

Eponin watched as Terreis slowly began to undress. Her eyes followed every move as her lover disrobed before her. She gulped unconsciously. Her appreciative gaze was interrupted when she noticed what seemed to be some kind of writing along the back of Terreis's shoulders. She walked over just before the princess was about to take off her top. "What's this Ter?" she asked.

"What's what?"

"This writing on your shoulders."

"What are you talking about?" replied the princess as she craned her neck to look.

Pony got close enough to finally read what was inscribed there, and her eyes went wide. "By the GODS, they are gonna pay for this!"

"Who? What? What does it say?" inquired a now very exasperated princess.

"It says..." and a chuckle escaped her throat despite her efforts to keep it in.

"OUT with it Eponin! Come on!" Now Terreis was getting quite angry at the thought of someone in her hut while she was asleep.

"It says......" Pony cleared her throat. "Property of Pony." Now she began giggling at the thought of her lover walking in public with that on her back, for all to see. Silently she thanked her two mischievous friends.

"WHAT?" She looked at her girlfriend. "No way!" Eponin shook her head affirmatively. "Please tell me it wasn't you who did this Pony." This time Eponin shook her head no. "Then who did?"

"Oh, I have a good idea who did it Ter. And don't worry..." She grinned. "We'll get them back I promise you." She turned Terreis around toward the light from the window and took another look at the words written on the Princess's back. She smiled thoughtfully. "It does have sort of a nice ring to it though..."

Terreis snapped her head around. "Oh you think so huh?"

"Yeah...maybe I do."

"So you think I should leave it on?" She noticed the suddenly panicked look fly onto her lover's face. "Uh-huh. Ok, let's get it off then."

"Ok, come over here by the basin." replied Eponin, taking one last look at those words. "I do like the idea of you being mine though." She commented as she began scrubbing at the ink.

"Really?"

"Yes." She felt the flush begin to creep up her neck again.

"Ok."

"Ok?" A surprised look stole over the brunette's features.

"Yes...ok. I want to be yours." replied Terreis sincerely.

"Gods..." Replied Pony. "I don't know what to say to that!" Her brow furrowed as she retreated into her thoughts, scrubbing harder than she realized.

"Ow! Hey!" yelped the princess. "Take it easy Pony, I sorta need my skin..." 

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry." She softened her ministrations. "I just....um....aw Hades!"

"What? You can talk to me Ep. Don't be afraid..."

"Well...." the brunette paused in her scrubbing. "I just am afraid some people will think I'm with you because of what I can get out of it..." She hung her head. "That would be so not true Ter..."

The princess turned around to face her friend. "I know that Pony. After all, it was me who started this..." She smiled. "I don't care what they say...I just want to be with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. Alright, you can be mine then." She met those beautiful green eyes and stared into them. "And I'll be just yours." Her smile lit up the room.

"Deal." replied the princess. "Is it all off yet?" She tried to look over her shoulder to check.

"Well, most of it is...it's ink, we need a special herb to draw it all out."

Terreis grimaced. "Guess we need to go see Cervexa huh?"

"Yeah. I'll go with you."

"Alright, let's get going then." 

As they walked across the courtyard on their way to the healer's hut, they passed by the princess's own. Pony glanced over at it and noticed her sash hanging above the doorframe. "Uh...Ter?"

"Yeah?"

"Look over your door."

She glanced at it, turned away, and then did a quick double take. "Lemme guess; Ephiny and Solari."

"Yup."

"Paybacks are a bitch." commented the princess, and with a flip of her red hair, proceeded towards Cervexa's place.

***

The summer sun was beating down on the Amazon village by the time Ephiny opened her eyes. "Oh, and here I swore off the cider for at least a month! When will I learn?" She casually shut them again, feeling a little sluggish in the early morning heat. She felt Solari toss a bit in her sleep and opened her eyes again. Glancing over, she couldn’t help but smile to see her lover sprawled with her head and part of her upper torso hanging off the end of the pallet. Chuckling, she gently eased away and stood up. "Wake her or not wake her?" she said out loud. "Hmmmmm...yeah wake her!" Bending over, she stood just out of arm's reach of the dark-haired beauty.....

"SOLARI! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED!" yelled Ephiny quite close to her lover's ear.

"Huuuuuh? Whhaaa? GOOD GODS! I'm up...I'm up! Where's my leathers?? WHERE'S MY SWORD?" yelped Soli as she threw herself into the air, just narrowly missing a dodging Eph.

The blonde exploded with laughter as she watched her friend scrabbling to find her clothes. So engaged was she in her mirth that she failed to see the light go on above Solari's head, and also failed to see her grab the bucket that was sitting right next to where she had landed after her frantic leap from the pallet. In one quick toss, Ephiny was drenched from head to toe with water, and it was suddenly her lover that was doing the laughing.

"Heh, that'll teach ya." She said as she walked back over to the bed and sat down, giggling at the expense of her tormentor turned tormented.

Ephiny just sat there watching the water drip off her and onto the floor. "Yup. Very good. You got me." She turned her hazel eyes upon the brunette and graced her with a great big smile. "I guess I should know better than to try and get one up on the 'Queen of the Jokesters' huh?" She stood and walked over to the pallet.

"Oh no, you are not sitting down here all drippin wet like that curly...." Eph made a face at the pet name. "We really need to go get a bath and get to the practice field for drills before Melosa makes us pick herbs for Cervexa for a week."

Ephiny sighed. "Yeah, guess yer right" She flexed her arms, then stretched, popping her vertebrae back into alignment.

"Ewwwww! Stop that! You know that sound makes me cringe Eph..."

"Sorry honey. Well let's get cleaned up then. I'm sure we smell like a wine cellar right now."

"After you my dear..." said Solari as she stood, sweeping her arm out in a gesture for her friend to go first.

"Oh no, after you..."

"No, I insist...after you." Soli gave her lover a shove towards the door.

"You are such a bossy woman Soli, why do I stay with you?" retorted Ephiny as she allowed the brunette to steer her outside.

"Because of my exotic good looks and the fact that I am so good in bed. Haven't we discussed this before?" Grinning, she tossed her arm over Ephiny's shoulder as they crossed the square towards the bath hut.

"Why yes...yes we did come to think of it." Eph planted a kiss on her lover's cheek. "Doesn't hurt that I love you to death either."

Solari's smile lit up her face. "You always say the sweetest things Ephiny. I love you too."

They reached the bath hut and were quite pleased with the fact that it was unoccupied for a change. Entering, they locked the door behind them and shed their clothes.

"Yes, oh this feels so good...." said Ephiny as she slid into the warm water. "Ahhh..."

"Doesn't look bad either..." drawled Solari as she let her eyes roam over her love's body. She slid closer so as to be able to gaze into those hazel eyes she adored so much. "I could just drown in your eyes Ephiny..." She smiled as the blush began to color the blonde's cheeks.

"You could?" replied a semi-stupified Eph.

"Ooooh yeah...and your lips..." She licked her own sensuously . "I think they were made just for me to kiss..." She leaned in closer, hearing the gulp from her friend. "I burn for you Ephiny....I want you...."

"Then take me, I'm yours." replied a now very flushed blonde warrior.

"Oh I intend to....right now in fact."

Their lips met in a crushing kiss, Solari's hands running the length of her lover's body and back up. They were well into some extremely passionate lovemaking when Ephiny's head shot up.

"What was that?"

"What was what? I didn't hear anything." replied Solari as she ran her tongue along a sensitive earlobe.

"I swear I heard something outside."  This time they both heard it.

"Hades balls!" cursed the blonde as she hurriedly exited the pool and headed for the door. Reaching it, she grabbed the handle, only to have it come off in her hand.

"Son of a Bacchae!!"

"Uh oh..." said Solari, as she caught up to her friend at the door. "This sorta stinks huh?"

"Sorta?" Ephiny's brows creased as she tried to put the handle back on. "We're going to be late if we don't get out of here."

"Hmmmm....well we could bust it down." offered the brunette.

"I'm afraid we're gonna have to. Come on let's get a running start..." They took a few steps back and linked arms. "Remind me to hurt those two little troublemakers later, ok honey?" Said Ephiny as they leveled themselves for the door.

"Believe me dear, I WON'T let you forget!" replied Solari. "Ready?" Eph shook her head. "On three...One...Two....THREE!"

They made a mad dash for the door and crashed into it with such force that it flew outward and landed 5 paces away. Skidding to a halt they both looked at each other with big grins on their faces. But alas, their grins turned to frowns as a bucket of blue ink dropped ceremoniously on top of their heads.

"Argh! Eponin!" bellowed the now tie-dyed blonde. "You are gonna pay for this!"

Ephiny's tirade was interrupted by a fit of giggles coming from her partner. "Soli! How can you be laughing at a time like this!!!" she blurted.

"Awww come on Eph....it isn't that bad." She giggled some more. "Besides, you look sorta cute in blue..."

Ephiny threw up her arms in surrender and turned back towards the hut. "Women! Can't live with em, can't run em through!" she fumed. "Come on Soli, we gotta get this junk off us before it sets into our skin." She grabbed her chuckling lover by the arm and led her back into the hut.

Two silently guffawing forms were huddled together behind the bushes across the courtyard, watching all the action. As Ephiny and Solari made their way back inside to scrub off the ink, they slid from their hiding place and made a beeline for the Princess's hut. Once inside, they finally let loose the laughter they had been holding in for quite a length of time, each holding on to the other for support.

"We did it!" blurted Eponin between howls and hoots. "We did it!"

"Yep! Told you they would pay darling." replied Terreis as she plopped down into a chair.

"That was the most AWESOME thing I have ever seen Ter! You are so smart!" She bestowed a kiss upon her girlfriend's lips. "Thank you for helping me get them back."

"Anything for you Pony." She smiled sweetly. "You aren't alone anymore, and you will never have to be the brunt of anyone's jokes ever again as long as I am around."

Eponin's smile could have blinded a cyclops right then. "Really?"

"Yes, really." replied the redhead. "In fact, there's something I've been wanting to ask you if you have a minute to talk before you head off to the field..."

Pony sat herself in the chair next to her princess. "Sure. Is there something you need? I can get it for you.."

"Yeah, there

is

something I need." Terreis turned her eyes to meet Eponin's brown ones, and the brunette swallowed at the seriousness she saw there.

"Oh...serious chat...ok I can do that," Replied Pony as she settled back into the chair and crossed her arms. "Lay it on me. I can do it!"

The Princess smiled as she looked at the young woman sitting next to her. "Well..." started Terreis a bit hesitantly..."We have been seeing each other for a couple months now, right Pony?" The warrior shook her head yes. "So...ummm....I was wanting to ask you exactly how you feel about me...I mean...right now, how do you feel now that some time has passed?" Terreis bit her lip as she nervously awaited an answer.

"Hmmm..." Pony's brows creased in thought as she pondered the question. Looking her lover straight in the eye, she replied. "I love you. More than anything Ter....don't think I would like it much if something bad were to happen between us."

The breath Terreis had been holding finally escaped her lungs. "Whew! I'm really glad to hear that Pony because," She untied the braided leather shoulder sash that signified her rank among the tribe. "I want you to wear this." She held it out in offering to her lover.

Eponin's face went completely pale as she realized what she was looking at. Raising her eyes from the sash to Terreis's, she honestly still could not believe this was happening to her. She swallowed what seemed to be some kind of lump in her throat, and her voice was just barely a whisper as she tried to get something out. "Me?" was all she could muster.

Terreis looked upon her flabbergasted companion, and a warmth crept itself into her heart such as she had never known before. "Yes you." she replied.

"You sure?"

"Yes. Please say you will, or you'll break my heart..."

Eponin felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Gods Ter, I don't ever want to do that." She reached out a shaking hand and grasped the hand that held the mark of a princess. Their eyes met. "Yes, I'll join with you."

Terreis felt her own tears begin to stream down her face, and didn't care at all. She raised herself out of the chair and stood in front of her lover. Bending down on one knee, she carefully reached out and tied the sash to the left shoulder strap of Eponin's leathers. As she finished, she left her hand on top of it and looked deeply into her warrior's eyes. "I love you. Now let the world know it too."

Their lips met, and everything else faded away as they professed their feelings for each other through the language of their love.

"I haven't seen our two pranksters yet Pony." Stated Terreis as she glanced around the practice field. "They're late for drills...you know what that means..." A wry grin tweaked the corner of her mouth.

Eponin turned to smile at her lover, then resumed searching for the perfect practice staff. "Oooooh yeah....hehehe..." She found a suitable piece of wood and stepped back to check the balance. She suddenly became a whirl of motion, whipping the staff around her like it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

As Terreis watched her lover warm up, she was again in awe of how at home with weapons Eponin truly was. The staff became a blur, and the princess couldn't take her eyes from the sight. So mesmerized was she that she didn't see the tye-dyed, blonde mass of curls making a beeline for the swordmaster.

Ephiny grabbed the closest staff and headed straight for Eponin. Just as Ephiny was bringing her staff to strike at Pony's unprotected back, the brunette ducked and rolled to the right, causing Ephiny to overbalance and stumble forward. As she planned, Eponin quickly got to her feet and brought her staff around to shove the blonde forward, face first into the dirt. She quickly placed her boot lightly on the back of Eph's neck to hold her down. She staked her staff into the ground next to her friend's face, casually leaned on it and looked down. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to make so much noise when you attack there Ephie?" She snickered.

"LET ME UP EPONIN!" Ephiny struggled to rise, but Pony put a little more pressure on her neck and shoved her back down again.

"Hold on there, where do you think you're goin?" She cocked her head a bit so she could look into her friend's eyes.

The blonde struggled a bit more, but finally just gave in to Eponin's greater strength and obviously superior position. "Damn you to Hades, Pony!" She frowned. "You are gonna pay for that little stunt of yours at the bath hut!"

Eponin let a chuckle escape. "Is that so?" Now she laughed a bit. "And I suppose you thought I would just let you get away with painting my girlfriend's back while she was sleeping?" She laughed even harder. "That's a good one Eph!"

The blonde sighed. "Alright, alright, I guess I can't blame you for being a little angry." Eponin removed her booted foot and held out her arm. Eph grasped the proffered forearm, and, standing up, brushed herself off, sending dust flying everywhere. This quickly dispersed the small crowd that had gathered to watch the short-lived fight.

By this time, Terreis had recovered her senses enought o come rushing over to the swordmaster. "You ok, Pony?"

"Ayup." She replied as she let her arm wrap itself around the redhead's waist. "Eph here is lookin a little blue though..." 

"Very funny Pony....very funny." Suddenly her eyes fell upon her friend's left shoulder and her eyes bugged out. She looked from Eponin to Terreis, back to Eponin and then back to the sash that now adorned Pony's leathers. "Is that....." was all she could say.

Eponin cleared her throat. "Ahem....ummmm yeah, it is."

"Wow! Hey that's great!!" She suddenly ran up to the pair and drew them both into an amazingly strong bear hug.

Eponin cursed as she was suddenly being squashed like a bug. "Eph! You blasted woman! Let me go, yer makin a spectacle!" She finally managed to extricate herself but couldn't do much to save her lover, as Ephiny now wrapped her free arm around Terreis. Finally, Ephiny loosed the princess and stepped back.

"I can't believe it! When did this happen!" The blonde's words came out so fast even Terreis had a hard time getting all the words. Just then Solari came bursting onto the scene in a blue-tinged huff, using her lover to stop her forward progress.

"Eph! What happened?" Huffed Solari as tried to get some air into her strained lungs. "You shouldn't have taken off on me like that!" (A small crowd was now gathering again....after all, two tie-dyed amazons tend to draw some attention...) Ephiny just pointed at Pony's left shoulder, and now it was Solari's turn to go buggy.

"What...when...where...how..." she blurted. 

Amusement danced in Terreis's green eyes as she replied. "Ummm, well I sorta asked her this morning." Now her eyes cast down and she blushed before looking back up to her friends. "She said yes, so..."

Eponin saw that same look in Solari's eyes that Ephiny had had just before she was made to feel like the grapes at the bottom of a wine squashing barrel. Shutting her eyes she willed herself to grin and bear it, since after all this was one of her best friends, and especially since Terreis seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. She sighed as now two sets of strong amazon arms were wrapped around her and her betrothed. 'Not so bad...' she thought to herself and hugged back. 'Not so bad at all!' She sorta rather liked this warm feeling that was running through her at the moment...yeah, it was definitely an ok thing.

Their moment of congratulations abruptly ended as Solari turned and saw the Queen standing not two feet away, with her arms crossed and looking extremely perturbed.

"Do I have to be present at all training sessions in order for any training to actually get done?" inquired Melosa as she stared directly at her sister.

Terreis was about to open her mouth to reply when Ephiny stepped forward and bowed her head. "Permission to explain, my Queen."

"Granted. Proceed. And don't forget to include the explanation as to why you are blue this morning..."

Ephiny caught the giggle that escaped Solari and shot her a glare before she proceeded. "Well, you see...." She hurried through the explanation, and by the time she finished, the Queen was trying very hard not to chuckle herself.

"My my....Eponin I am very proud of you." She turned and stood directly in front of the brunette. "That last show of your skill only reinforces the fact that I have made the right decision then."

"Decision?" asked Eponin curiously.

"I was going to wait for the ceremony this evening to announce it, but I guess now is as good a time as any." Melosa looked directly in Eponin's eyes. "Eponin, it is with great pride for me to inform you, that you have been selected as the tribe's Weaponmaster." She smiled warmly as she watched Pony's jaw hit the ground.

"Really? Me?" she swallowed audibly. 

"Yes. Tonight you will be officially recognized." replied the Queen as she turned to go. She stopped in mid-turn and added..."And by the way, congratulations to you both." She smiled as she walked away.

Terreis rested her arm over Pony's shoulder. "I guess we have her blessing huh?" She giggled. "And you! Congrats! Oh Pony I am so proud of you!" She then threw her arms around her lover's neck and kissed her soundly. Their kiss was interrupted by the slapping of hands on Eponin's back, and the sound of many voices congratulating both them and Eponin for her promotion.

Pony found Terreis's eyes and she mouthed "I love you," Which was returned with a huge smile and twinkling green eyes. 'Can't get any better than this..' thought the weaponmaster as she continued to be hugged and pounded on the back by a now increasing number of her peers. 'But I swear my arm is gonna fall off if this goes on much longer.'

Time passes, and things change...for better or worse. Terreis took Eponin as her consort, and they were both very happy. Solari's flirting finally became too much for Ephiny to bear any longer, and they ended up going their separate ways. More time passed. A war with the centaurs was becoming more of a reality every day, and the Amazon Nation was preparing itself. "My Queen, the rut in the floor will soon be three feet deep if you keep that up," Ephiny shifted in her seat as she spoke, and patted the chair next to her. "Please rest for a few moments, you will not do any of us any good if you pass out from exhaustion." Melosa stopped her pacing and turned to the captain of her guard. Sighing, she responded, "Ah Ephiny...as always you are right." She walked over to the chair and seated herself. "I'm just so on edge...this war seems imminent, and I just can't seem to do anything to stop it." She sighed. "They want our best hunting ground, and if we give that up, the nation will suffer." Ephiny turned to face her leader. "I know you are doing everything in your power to keep this from happening my Queen, but sometimes there is nothing we can do." She folded her hands on the table. "Despite our best efforts, it seems some things are just meant to be." A knock sounded on the door frame. "Come." called Melosa. Eponin moved the curtain aside and entered. "My Queen...the centaurs have sent a messenger." she said, bowing her head. "A messenger?" The hairs on the back of Melosa's neck were standing straight up. "What is the message." "They wish to make us an offer." "An offer, how quaint." The queen stood and crossed her arms. "State the offer." Eponin unrolled the piece of parchment she had been holding and began to read. "I, Tyldus, King of the Centaurs wish to open negotiations with the Amazon Nation in respects to the hunting ground on their east border. I would be pleased to meet to discuss this issue on neutral ground, each bringing one negotiator and three guards. Follow the path to our shared west border, we will be camped there for two nights. I hope to bring about a peaceful solution to this affair. Signed, Tyldus." Melosa sighed and turned to Ephiny. "What do you think?" "I think it's a trap." "Me too." added the weaponmaster. "That makes three of us. Question is what do we do about it." She sent up a silent prayer to Artemis, in hopes that the goddess would do something to help them. War was not what she had in mind for the nation during her rule, but it looked like there was no other way if this turned out to be the trap she thought it was. She raised her eyes and prayed...'Artemis, what am I to do? Send me a sign...anything....let me know if this is for the best in the end.' 

*** "Then it's decided." Melosa whipped around to face her sister. "No, it's not." Her hands went to her hips as she closed the distance between them. "I will not allow you to go Terreis. It's too dangerous." The redhead's eyes rolled. "My Queen, you cannot go. You know that if you do, something could happen. You belong ruling our tribe, not I." Her eyes cast down to the floor for a moment. "I cannot let that happen...I won't let that happen. It is only right that I should go." Melosa was doing everything she could to control her anger right then, and she raised a shaking finger to her sister's face. "You..." she hissed..."Are NOT expendable. Don't act as if you are!" "I am a princess of the Amazon Nation. It is my duty to do this." She crossed her arms as she regarded the queen. "You cannot let the fact that we are sisters stand in the way of doing what is right by the nation. What would that look like to our tribe?" Melosa could not argue that point. Indeed, if she refused to let Terreis go to meet with the centaurs, it would look like she was coddling the princess. She knew that would not be the best answer for this situation. She glanced up into those sparkling green eyes that were beseeching her to do the right thing. Sighing, she gave in. "Alright, but you take only our best with you." "Your choices?" "Ephiny, Eponin and Solari. Take it or leave it." replied the queen. "Agreed. We'll leave in a candlemark." Terreis turned to go, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. "You know I don't like this one bit....please be careful..." The queen pulled her sister in for a hug. "I love you sister, be well and good luck." Terreis winked at Melosa. "You know I will." She smiled and was gone. Melosa just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out why she had this really sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Nope...don't like this at all...." She sat down at her table and put her head in her hands. *** Terreis closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly she stretched her arms over her head. "Ah...Pony, isn't it such a great day?" Eponin lifted her head from where it had been drooping in misery from the heat of the afternoon to gaze at her wife. "If you call riding along with a sweat hut on your back a great day, I guess I would have to say yes." She reached down to peel up a corner of her skirt and flap it wildly, trying to get a breeze going. Glancing ahead, she noticed Ephiny's head snap to one side, then the other. The signal for silence was given, followed by the one to move forward slowly. Terreis and Eponin dismounted silently and crept forward, careful not to snap any stray twigs. As they reached Ephiny and Solari, the blonde pointed through the bushes and down the path. Pony's eyes narrowed as she spied the warrior and her companion. Cocking her head to one side, she listened for a moment, then pointed up. Into the trees they went, taking positions on either side of the forest trail. "What was that thing hanging back there from the tree?" Asked the small blonde as she tried out her new walking stick. "No trespassing signs. This is Amazon country." said the tall, dark warrior beside her." "Amazons..." Excitement began to creep into the blonde's voice even as the warrior pulled her sword out of the sheath attached to the saddle. "Do you think we'll see any?" Eponin gave the signal to fire the warning shots. Eight arrows landed in the ground at their feet. "Almost certainly." replied the warrior, spinning her sword in her hand and plunging it blade first into the ground. She clasped her hands over her head. "Gabrielle..." She said quietly as she motioned with her eyes to follow her lead. The blonde followed suit, and before they knew it four heavily armed amazons were dropping down in front of them. One came forward and spoke. "You know the Amazon symbol of peace." she said. "We'd like safe passage through your hunting grounds." replied the warrior woman, as the blonde's eyes went wide with awe and wonder. The Amazon pushed back her mask and regarded this duo. Her guard did the same. "My name is Terreis. You know the Amazon ways and yet you're not one of us." She glanced at the blonde. "And you're really not one of us." "Hey..." she replied. "Don't judge a scroll by its paper!" 

This made Terreis chuckle. Ephiny spoke up. "They invaded our territory. We should take them to see Queen Melosa." Terreis eyebrows knit together in thought for a moment. "Ephiny's right. We have to let Melosa decide. Don't worry, she's fair." Eponin relieved the warrior of her sword, and as she did she made sure the warrior caught her glare as she backed away to stow them on her own mount. "Going to see the Amazon Queen..." bubbled the little blonde. "This is fantastic! I'm so excited...I wonder what she's like?" Terreis couldn't supress another chuckle at that comment. "Reminds me of myself a few years ago..." she said to no one in particular. Deciding she wanted to speak more with this young woman, she hurried to catch up. *** "I want to read philosophy, and learn about history and science. But they didn't consider me a normal girl." The blonde blushed at her statement. "Philosophy and history are some of the first things taught to amazon children." replied Terreis. "Really?" "It is a man's world Gabrielle. Not because it should be...but because we let them have it. It's based on a woman's weakness." "Yeah?" "The Amazon world is based on truth.." continued Terreis as they stopped walking. "On a woman's individual strengths." "I'm all for that! I've always considered myself a single-minded person." replied Gabrielle. "Of course...if I got married, I'd have to ask my husband if it was ok..." The Amazon Princess turned a hard stare on the little blonde. Gabrielle chuckled nervously. "Heh, that was a joke.." Terreis's eyes softened and her face broke into a smile as they began walking again. Ephiny was on point, and couldn't help but to turn around and look at this warrior woman every time she had the chance. She was just so beautiful....and dangerous. She stopped next to a tree and let the warrior pass by. As the warrior walked by her she spoke. "Something about me you find interesting?" she said nonchalantly. "Yes." replied Ephiny with a seductive tone in her voice. "Wanna tell me?" "No." "Then stop staring at me before I take your eyes out." Said the warrior in barely controlled anger. They stared each other down for a moment before they both heard the noise. A crackling sound from just ahead and to the right. "Gabrielle!" The blonde came rushing over. "What is it?" At that moment the sky began to fill with arrows. Ephiny yelled as loud as she could. "To the trees! To the trees!" The warrior noticed one of the Amazons drop her sword in her scramble to get out of sight, and she picked it up quickly...just in time to ward off a volley of arrows that certainly would have hit Gabrielle. Suddenly there was a scream as an amazon fell out of the tree, and thumped loudly to the ground below, an arrow protruding from her chest. "Terreis!" yelled Gabrielle as she sprang into action, racing over to the fallen Amazon, and shielding the princess from any more arrows. As the volley stopped, the warrior ran over to see about the amazon's injury. Xena grimaced. The arrow had pierced her lung. "Don't try to move her..." she warned Gabrielle. "I'll check to see if it's clear." The blonde shook her head, and the warrior ran off into the forest. Eponin was the first one to the ground, and couldn't move from where she stood. So in shock was she, that the only thing she could manage was "No...no...no..." over and over. She sank to her knees, able only to watch as half of her soul began to slip away. "Terreis!" shouted Ephiny as she hit the ground running. Solari bolted over to catch Eponin before she fell over. Eph skidded to a halt beside her fallen princess and friend. Terreis knew her time was short, and she needed to get this out before she passed over. She gasped. Looking at Gabrielle, she spoke haltingly..."You tried to save me..." "No...don't talk." replied Gabrielle, trying to keep her quiet and calm til Xena returned. Terreis continued. "What you did...only an Amazon would do....for another Amazon..." A wave of pain rolled thru her body and she grimaced. "I want you to take...my right of caste." Ephiny's face registered complete shock. "Terreis!" The princess met Gabrielle's eyes and pleaded..."Please!" "A - alright, I'll take it..." stammered Gabrielle. "J-just don't...don't..." Her sentence was cut short as Terreis let out her last breath. She looked questioningly up to Ephiny, who's only expression was one of confusion and disbelief. Solari had finally gotten Eponin to her feet and they came up behind Ephiny. Eponin was clearly distraught. "This can't be real," She said softly. "She can't leave me..." Ephiny placed her hand on her best friend's shoulder in support. "She isn't gone Pony...she'll always be in your heart." Eponin's eyes began to well up with tears, and she bit her lip as she tried to maintain her dignity in front of her fellow amazons. "Um...yeah...of course you're right." she sniffed and straightened up. "Let's get her home." Gabrielle turned questioning eyes on Xena as she returned, and the warrior felt the pressure of finding the right thing to say. But nothing seemed right at the moment. All she could do was look back as if to say "I'm sorry..." Gabrielle allowed the Amazons to take Terreis from her, and watched solemnly as they gently placed their princess on the back of her horse. Leading their own horses, they slowly began their trek back to the amazon village. *** "Aw gods Eph! Why me??" Eponin could barely keep the tears back at this point. "Of all the people you could pick for this, why me?" She sniffed. "Why now?" Ephiny sighed and turned a sad look on her friend. "Pony..." She spat out her next few words..."She is an Amazon Princess whether we like it or not." A pause, then in a calmer tone... "She has to have the best training, and that my friend, is you." Eponin's chin dropped onto her chest. "Alright, alright. Send her to weapons hut. I'll meet her there." "Done. Is there anything else you require?" Eponin shook her head no. "Ok then, as soon as Melosa and I have a talk with her, we'll send her by." "Can't wait..." Ep mumbled under her breath. She sat there for a moment, pondering what horrid crime against the gods she must have done to deserve this. 'I lose my wife to a centaur's arrow, and now I have to train her successor?' And then the tears came. Her shoulders shook violently as the pain and loss finally found a release. After a few long moments, she realized she still had a job to do. Wiping the tears away, she walked over to her basin and splashed some cold water on her face to try to bring down the puffiness that used to be her eyes. "Wouldn't look good for the Weaponmaster to look like a weak-willed crybaby now would it Ep?" she said to herself. Shaking her head sadly, she opened the door and walked out into the bright sunshine. She shielded her eyes with her hand and headed off to meet her new pupil. *** "My Queen....you know I was the next in line for right of caste!" Ephiny's voice was sounding quite whiny at this point and Melosa was beginning to get aggravated. "Captain, need I remind you of Amazon law?" She cast a stern look toward the blonde walking beside her. Seeing the hurt on her face, the queen's demeanor softened a bit. "I do understand Ephiny, but you know the laws as well as I do. It was Terreis's wish for Gabrielle to have her right of caste...even though we don't understand it, we have to abide by that wish." Eph's shoulders sagged. "Ok, but I don't like her. She has no skills!" "And that's what we have Eponin for. Ah, there she is now," said Melosa. "Let's go have a little chat with her." Ephiny rolled her eyes as she followed behind her queen. 'This is turning out to be the worst day I have ever had...' she thought as they crossed the compound. 'And if it gets any worse, I'm going to have to run myself through just see if it's all real.' She sighed as she spotted the new princess across the courtyard. 'Well at least Xena is leaving her alone for now. Thank the gods I don't have to deal with her hanging over my shoulder and getting in my business.' By the time she and Melosa reached their destination, a scowl had planted itself firmly across her features. "Gabrielle," she called out. 

The bard turned around at the sound of her name. Seeing the queen approaching, she thought it the most opportune time to get some questions answered. "So are we going to talk about this Right of Caste thing?" She sounded just a bit perturbed about being left in the dark for so long. (just like a bard eh? Always needing to know things yesterday or sooner hehe) Melosa stopped before the blonde. "With her dying wish, Terreis bestowed all her rights and possessions to you." stated the queen nonchalantly. "And her position." Gabrielle seemed a bit shocked by this news. "Wait, you mean...I'm an Amazon?" "Terreis was my true sister...the next in the royal line." A pause. "You're an Amazon Princess." Turning to Ephiny, she continued. "Make sure she's taught." With that she walked away, leaving Gabrielle in a state of confusion and disbelief. All Ephiny could think of at the moment was tearing this poor excuse for an Amazon limb from limb. She took a breath and tried to relax, but all she managed was to purse her lips in anger and frustration, and glare coldly at the little blonde. Summoning all the strength of will that she could muster, she spoke. "Follow me." "Where are we going?" asked Gabrielle as they headed towards what looked like a weapons hut. It took all of Ephiny's self control not to turn around and beat her to within an inch of her life. In fact, just the sound of her voice was irritating her beyond anything she had ever experienced before...even more than sand in her breeches. "I'm taking you to Eponin. She will be your teacher." "Eponin? Which one is she?" asked the bard. Eph stopped so quickly that Gabrielle slammed right into her backside. "Oooops...sorry...heh" stammered the bard. The captain turned around and affixed a cold stare upon her smaller charge. "She...was Terreis' consort. She has agreed to train you despite the obvious futility of this endeavor." She turned to continue walking, but Gabrielle's next words stopped her dead in her tracks... "Now you just wait a minute Ephiny." She walked right up to the captain and tried her best to stand taller as she spoke, like she had seen Xena do so many times. "I didn't ask for this...all I was doing was trying to save her." She raised her left hand and stuck her index finger right in Ephiny's face. "And I don't need the likes of YOU making this any harder for me than it already is!" She lowered her arm. Ephiny was fuming at the insolence before her. "Then you..." This time it was her finger in the bard's face, "shouldn't have taken Terreis' right of caste before you knew what it entailed!" "Oh...as if I had a choice." The bard blew out a frustrated breath. "Need I remind you she was dying? Need I remind you that there was no time to discuss the logistics of the situation?" She crossed her arms. "Put yourself in my boots, Ephiny. What would you have done?" She pushed past the captain and walked the last few yards to the weapons hut and entered, leaving Ephiny standing there with mouth hanging open and contemplating the words she was left with. "Yup..." said Eph to no one in particular. "I'm a centaur's ass." She began heading towards the dining hall, scowling all the way. Even though she still didn't like Gabrielle, she had to respect the way the girl had stood up to her. Deciding to reserve her judgement of Xena's companion for a later date, she changed direction and headed back the way she had come...towards the Queen's quarters. *** Gabrielle was happily chatting away to Solari and Eponin as Ephiny strode purposefully in. "Come....now." she said, a cold edge in her voice. The blonde gave her an admonishing look. "I'm sorry...you must have me mistaken for a pet." she said, shaking her head. Ephiny rolled her eyes. "Would you come with me?" She rephrased. Gabrielle shook her head. "That's better!" and stepped down off the dressing pedestal. As the bard walked toward her, she caught the "Oh gods thank you for saving me" look from Eponin, and could only wonder what kind of torture this was for the poor weaponmaster. Nonetheless, she knew they had their jobs to do. "From birth, every amazon is taught to use weapons...pick your first weapon." she said as calmly as she gestured toward the array on the wall. Gabrielle stepped forward and began to peruse the assortment. "No, i don't like swords..." she commented as she passed them by. "Can't hit the side of a cyclops with a bow and arrow..." Then she saw something that caught her eye. "Ah what's this?" she inquired as she picked up some sort of ornate stick. "That's a fighting staff." said Ephiny as she took the weapon from the bard. "Eponin?" She turned and tossed the staff to the weaponmaster, who promptly began an impressive display of spins and attack maneuvers. Gabrielle was in awe, shaking her head up and down in respect. "Your training begins now." said Ephiny matter-of-factly. "Eponin, take her outside and make sure she knows how to use the staff." "As you request." replied Pony as she motioned for the bard to follow her. "No Gabrielle, counter-sundial-wise!" snapped Eponin, her patience growing slim as the small blonde clobbered herself in the head yet again with the training staff. "Ow!" The bard blew her bangs out of her eyes. This was tough, but she was loving every minute of it. 'I'll really have something to show Xena when she comes back!' she thought to herself as she reset her staff to the beginning position. 'Maybe she'll finally respect me a little.' She watched intently as Eponin demonstrated the move yet again. She began the kata and was almost all the way through before she lost control of a spin and clunked herself right in the noggin for the umpteenth time. Eponin scowled. Gabrielle noticed the look of frustration on the weaponmaster's face. Leaning on her staff, she cocked her head at the brunette. "Eponin...can we talk for a moment?" Now this was not something Pony was expecting, but she did manage to look semi-composed. "Whatever you wish Princess." The bard frowned. "First of all..." she said as she leaned her staff against the nearest hut, "I'm really not comfortable with the 'Princess' thing, so you can just call me Gabrielle." She smiled warmly at Eponin. "Yes Prin...errrr I mean, Gabrielle." Pony raised her eyes, meeting her trainee's, and was instantly drawn into the warmth coming from this little bard. She smiled back. "Good! Now that that's out of the way..." She closed the distance between them and took a spot next to the weaponmaster. Eponin held her breath. "I just want you to know that I truly appreciate you teaching me all this." 

Eponin's eyes went wide with astonishment. The bard gestured to the weapons leaning next to them. "I know it must be so hard for you to do this..." Gabrielle held up her hand before Eponin could speak. "Please...let me finish." The brunette shook her head. "Thanks. Anyways..." The blonde moved to stand in front of her teacher. "Ephiny told me that you were Terreis' consort. I know how strange you must feel at having to see me dressed in her clothes, and having to teach me how to fight...but I want you to know that I will do my best not to shame her memory." She placed her hand on the weaponmaster's shoulder. "I'm sorry for your loss. Know that in my heart I understand. So please try to bear with me during this learning process. I'll try to make it as easy as I can for you, but by now I'm sure you can tell I have never done this before." Eponin watched as the blonde chuckled at her own incompetence. 'Amazing...' she thought. 'She's just amazing.' "I can tell..." replied a grinning Pony. "But I think we can work through it." "Excellent!" gushed the bard. "Shall we try it again?" "Sure Gabrielle." Eponin reached for her staff. "Assume the position!" This got another chuckle out of the bard. "Alright....I can do this...Again!" Eponin went through the kata once more, and Gabrielle watched intently. She began the maneuver...only a couple more swings and she would be through it without a hitch...CLUNK!..."Ow!" yelped the bard as she rubbed her head. As she looked up, she saw Ephiny approaching. "Oh great!" she said aloud. "Here come the critics!" Pony couldn't help but laugh at this latest remark. No matter how she tried now, she couldn't dislike this blonde bard. Sighing, she turned to meet Ephiny's greeting. The captain strode up and pulled the weaponmaster in close for a private chat. "Report." "She's not bad..." replied Pony with slight shrug. "A little rough..." then leaned in closer and whispered, "She's better than Jalana." This earned an elbow to the ribs for Eponin, but she still caught the slight smirk upon Ephiny's lips. Ephiny turned to Gabrielle. "So how are you doing with your training?" "It's sorta fun when I can keep it going." replied the young bard. "Gabrielle, war is not a game!" Ephiny threw up her hands in frustration. Gabrielle gulped audibly. The captain paced for a moment, then grabbed her staff and walked over to a nearby horse. What followed was a lesson Gabrielle wouldn't soon forget...one where she finally realized the levity of her present situation. Ephiny finished and walked back over to her. "Still fun?" inquired the blonde. Gabrielle shook her head no. "Good." She turned to the weaponmaster. "See that she is bathed before you bring her to lunch." "Yes Captain." replied Pony. As Ephiny sauntered off she turned to the bard. "Ready for some grub Gabrielle?" The blonde chuckled. "Oh boy am I ever! I'm starved!" Eponin laughed heartily. "Alright, let's go then." She gestured ahead of herself. "After you." "Thank you." smiled Gabrielle as she headed off to the baths with Pony in tow. 'I really like it here...' thought the bard as they crossed the compound. 'I wonder if Xena wouldn't mind staying here for a little while...' *** "So it's a regular thing for women to partner with women here?" asked the bard between mouthfuls of stew. Eponin grinned broadly. "Yes Gabrielle. Although there are some amazons who do partner with men occasionally." She popped a carrot into her mouth as she scrutinized the princess. "That's interesting." replied the bard. Then a serious look came over her face. "Can you tell me about her?" Eponin stopped in mid chew. She looked up to find innocent green eyes looking at her. She managed to swallow her bite of stew and leaned back in her chair. "Alright." she sighed and her face softened momentarily. "Terreis was the most wonderful person I have ever met. She always believed in finding a person's good points, despite what you might see on the outside." She took a drink of cider before she continued. "She was everything to me...my friend, my confidante, my wife, my lover, my hero..." A tear slowly made its' way down Pony's cheek. "I loved her more than life itself." Her shoulders sagged and she slid a bit down in her chair. Gabrielle was crying right along with poor Pony, and went to sit next to her. Circling her arm around the weaponmaster's shoulder, she began to whisper comforting words. Eponin shifted in her chair and leaned into the embrace, beginning to sob uncontrollably into Gabrielle's shoulder. The bard held her till she felt the sobs begin to subside, pulling back a little to see if Pony was ok. Eponin looked up at her through puffy eyes. "I'm sorry Gabrielle..." The bard smiled warmly. "There's nothing to be sorry for...I'm just glad I could be here for you." Eponin smiled back. "Thank you." Her eyes caught a movement near the entrance to the hut. "Ah...there's Ephiny.." "Oh great!" huffed Gabrielle. "What?" inquired the weaponmaster. "Haven't you and ol Eph made friends yet?" Gabrielle shook her head. "Nope...she hates me!" Pony had to laugh at this one. "Hates you?" She laughed some more. "On the contrary Gabrielle! I have only seen her act like that towards one other person..." The bard in her couldn't resist asking the question, "Who?" "Delia." "Who is Delia?" asked the blonde leaning in closer to Eponin. "Delia was my consort." replied a voice from over her shoulder. Gabrielle jumped three feet in the air, so startled was she by Ephiny's voice. Chuckling to herself, Ephiny took a seat on the other side of Gabrielle. "Why were you talking about her?" Her gaze went from Gabrielle to Eponin and stopped there. Eponin's eyes cast down and Ephiny knew she had her culprit. "Pony...Spill it, or we will soon be finding out if the old saying of 'You can lead a horse to water' is true." Ephiny crossed her arms and waited for an answer. "Pony?" stated Gabrielle. "Did she just call you Pony?" She turned towards the weaponmaster and found her muttering silent curses at the captain behind her back. "Yeah, yeah...ol EPHIE here plastered that nickname on me when we were in training." Eponin grinned now that she had successfully turned the tables on her friend. "Ephie?" repeated Gabrielle. "She called you Ephie!" And with that the bard doubled over in laughter. Eponin and Ephiny looked at each other and nodded. Ephiny spoke.... "Excuse me...Gabby?" And now it was the two amazons who were doubled over in laughter while Gabrielle sat there with a stupefied and thoroughly hilarious look on her face. It took a moment for the bard to realize what had just happened here. She smiled. Then she giggled. Then she was laughing with them, and before long they were pointing and calling each other by their nicknames and laughing more. Eponin finally stood and said, "Sorry to break up this little party boss, but I got a staff lesson in a half candlemark." She cast a wink Garbrielle's way. Ephiny smiled. "You're excused Pony." and they were all giggling again as the weaponmaster left. The silence between the two grew quickly. Eph cleared her throat and smiled awkwardly at the bard next to her. Gabrielle smiled back and Ephiny felt something strange happen to her....she felt her dislike for this woman leaving her in a rush. She let it go, and felt it replaced with a warm glow down in her gut. She cleared her throat again. "My Princess, I was wondering..." Gabrielle cocked her head at the blonde. "Wondering what?" Eph was finding it real hard to get some actual words out at the moment, but somehow she did, "Um..." "Yes?" asked the bard, raising an eyebrow. "I-I was wondering if you might like a tour around our territory this afternoon?" The look on Gabrielle's face took on one of barely veiled suprise. "You want to show me around?" "Yes." replied Ephiny. "You personally?" she asked, a slight upward twitch to her smile. Eph gulped. "Um...yeah...if that's ok with you?" "I think that would be nice Ephiny. Ok." She stood and brushed a few stray crumbs from her skirt. "I'll see you after my lesson then?" She smiled as their eyes met. "I'll be there." She was entranced. "Until then..." replied the bard as she turned and walked slowly towards the door. Ephiny's gaze stayed upon Gabrielle until she left the hut, and she sat there wondering what had just happened. "I'm losing it." she snuffed into her drink. Taking three long gulps, she sat back in the chair and pondered the situation. Had she just made a date with Gabrielle? She honestly wasn't sure. She admitted that she did want it to be one though...but maybe Gabrielle wasn't like her! She snuffed into her drink again, chuckling at herself. What kind of idiot amazon was she anyways? She swirled the cider around in her mouth a bit as an image of the blonde bard came to her mind. She swallowed and smiled to herself. She was the idiot amazon who had a date with the princess, that's who she was! She pushed her chair back from the table, stood and headed towards her hut. "Well if it's a date, then I'd better go prepare for it." And the people who saw a happily whistling Amazon Captain crossing the square had to look twice, since they couldn't believe their eyes. :)

Ephiny stopped at the edge of the practice area, and watched Eponin put Gabrielle through a pretty tough kata routine. She raised her eyebrow as every single swipe from the weaponmaster was blocked and returned by the little blonde. The captain watched in amazement as Gabrielle improvised and reversed her motion, effectually taking Pony's legs out from under her. She stepped onto the field as Gabrielle was muttering apologies to her teacher and approached her. "Princess." Gabrielle had just stood up and was helping the scowling weaponmaster to her feet. Hearing Ephiny's voice, she turned to greet her....and was shocked at what she saw. The captain was in full uniform! Her armor shined in the bright sunlight, giving her an almost glowing aura to her already dynamic personality. She didn't even know about the smile that had made it's way onto her face. "Ephiny! Hi! I was wondering where you were!" Ephiny stopped before Gabrielle and bowed. "I had to be presentable if I am going to be escorting the princess." She stood and gave the bard a sly half-smile. Eponin chuckled and shook her head. "I think I'll just be heading on over to the bathing hut now." She said between giggles as she slipped away practically unnoticed. "Yeah...see you later Pony..." replied Ephiny, while waving to no one. Her eyes were firmly attached to some quite mesmerizing green ones at that moment. Suddenly she remembered why she was there, and shook her head to clear it out. Gabrielle couldn't take her eyes off those hazel ones either. She was now in firm belief that Eponin had been right, that Ephiny might really have a thing for her after all. 'Well let's just be sure...' she thought to herself. "So..." she said. Ephiny finally seemed to shake herself clear of her wayward thoughts as the bard's voice got through to her. "Ahem...yes. Um, I believe I was going to show you around our land?" she said, glancing around nervously. "Yes you were." replied the bard with a shy grin. "Shall we then?" Ephiny looked at the small blonde and smiled back. Holding out her arm to the bard she said, "With pleasure Gabrielle." Gabrielle slipped her arm through Ephiny's and they set out across the courtyard towards the city gates. ***

"So where did Xena go earlier?" inquired Ephiny as they trekked up a rise. Gabrielle glanced at her companion. "She went to have a talk with Tyldus." Ephiny's head whipped around in shock. "Tyldus?" she swallowed. "Is she crazy? He'll kill her on sight!" Gabrielle had to giggle at this. "Ephiny...when you hang around Xena as much as I have, you come to accept some things." She smiled. "One, if Xena says she'll be back, she'll be back. Two, if Xena says don't worry about her, you don't worry about her." The bard stopped walking and turned to her new friend. She leaned over as if in confidence and whispered..."But I've learned you just don't let her know you worry anyways." She grinned and started walking again. Ephiny's brow furled at this seemingly revealing information the bard had uttered. 'Hmmmm, she worries about that warrior huh?' She decided it was time to be a little more forward. "Speaking of Xena my Princess...." "What about her?" replied the bard, a bit surprised at this new turn in the conversation. Ephiny made sure there was a definite hint of innuendo in her next chosen words, "Might I inquire if I could be in any danger from her?" "Danger?" Gabrielle was a bit surprised. "From Xena?" "Yes." "Why would you be in danger from Xena?" She cocked her head a bit. Ephiny threw her arms up in the air. "Gabrielle! Are you kidding me? If I'm stepping on Xena's toes with you, you had better tell me now before I'm one dead amazon!" "Stepping on her toes?" Gabrielle's brow furrowed in thought. "OH!" She began giggling. Ephiny gave the bard a look of complete exasperation. "How can you laugh at something as serious as that?" Honestly, maybe she had the blonde pegged wrong all along! "I'm sorry..." replied the bard as her giggles died down. "I guess I just didn't expect that!" "Huh?" replied the captain. "Maybe I'm missing something here..." Ephiny looked directly into those green eyes. "Aren't you and Xena lovers?" Astonishment lit Gabrielle's face. Then she burst out laughing....so hard in fact that Ephiny thought the bard was going to bust a gut. "Wait...you're not?" "NO! No!" Gabrielle was trying to control her giggles while she spoke. "Whatever gave you that idea?" she asked, wiping her eyes. "It's not just my idea Gabrielle..." Ephiny shrugged. "Everyone thinks that. You travel together, you do everything together...and I myself have seen the way she looks at you when you aren't aware." With this the captain turned her eyes away. "She most certainly does not!" laughed the bard. "She doesn't even know I'm alive!" She looked over at her friend, and her tone became serious. "You, on the other hand, seem to see me." Ephiny let their eyes meet again, and she couldn't deny it anymore! She was a goner...a hopeless case....mere putty as she stood before this woman. "I see you Gabrielle." she said allowing her emotions give her voice. "I see you." She repeated as she took a step closer to the bard. Gabrielle had only a minute to realize that this was "it". She was finally going to know what it was like to kiss a woman! She had fantasized so many times about Xena kissing her, but the warrior had always ignored her advances, or pretended not to notice them. Now here was a beautiful amazon warrior standing before her, practically begging to do just that. "Kiss me Ephiny." "Are you sure?" whispered the captain as she moved closer, running her fingers along the bard's cheek. "Yes." she whispered back. Ephiny ran her fingers up along Gabrielle's neck and into the tangle of blonde locks that fell gracefully about her shoulders. She sighed. "You're so beautiful, Gabrielle." She ducked her head in to brush her lips across the bard's own. "Xena has to be crazy not to want you." Their lips met softly and Ephiny was surprised to find herself being kissed back so readily. Sparks seemed to jump between them, and she felt a long-forgotten fire begin to burn inside of her. She deepened the kiss, and the fire burned hotter. 'Oh my gods!' she thought as she let the feeling carry her. Air...air! Wait! She pulled back, and was surprised to hear an almost inaudible whimper from the bard. She couldn't speak....she couldn't move. "Well." said the bard. "That was certainly something Ephiny." She began to fan herself. "I thought this was the eve of the tenth moon cycle, not the seventh!" Ephiny ran her hand under the bard's chin. "It is." She smiled. "So you felt it too?" "Gods yes!" She wrapped her arms around Ephiny's waist and drew her close again. "It felt very good." The captain smiled. "So does this mean I get a second date?" Gabrielle slapped her companion in the stomach as she pushed her away. Looking up at the sky she proclaimed, "It's getting a bit late. We had better be making our way back Captain." She cast a sly smile Ephiny's way, turned, and headed back the way they had come. Ephiny just stood there for a second before she had to hurry to catch up to the bard. "Wait! Gabrielle! I do get a second date don't I?"

Gabrielle was jolted out of her musings at the sound of Ephiny's voice..."Huh? What was that Ephiny?" she turned her head towards the blonde as they walked.

Ephiny sighed. "I've only called your name three times now Gabrielle..." She chuckled. "Mind elsewhere?"

The bard shook her head. "Yes it was." A pause. "It was on that kiss."

"Really...hmm..." Replied her captain. "Does that mean I do get another date then?" She quickly crossed her fingers behind her back.

Gabrielle smiled wryly. "So this was a date then Ephiny?"

The blonde gulped audibly. Dropping her eyes, she replied..."Well I was hoping it was." She kicked a stone in the path and sent it skipping twenty feet ahead.

"Well then...." replied the bard as they reached the city gates. "That puts things in a whole different light then..."

Ephiny swallowed again. "Meaning?" she asked as they reached the door to Gabrielle's hut.

Gabrielle scrunched her eyebrows together, as if in deep thought. "Meaning..." she said softly, stepping closer to the captain. "That I can do this..." And she brought her lips to Ephiny's in a soft kiss. After a moment, she broke the contact and stepped back.

Ephiny's eyes were still closed. She chuckled. "Eph...hey..."

The blonde opened her eyes and blinked. "Wow." She blinked again. "Gabrielle, if you kiss me like that all the time we may have a scandal on our hands." She thumbed for Gabrielle to look over her shoulder, and when the bard did, she gasped. The whole courtyard was staring at them!

"Oh my gods!" Gabrielle gasped and turned three shades of crimson. She buried her embarrassment in Ephiny's shoulder and began to giggle uncontrollably. After a few moments, she got herself under control, and with a smile she gently kissed the blonde's cheek. "See you later Ephiny..."

"Definitely, Gabrielle." She gave the bard's arm a last squeeze and slowly began walking backwards away from her. "Goodbye for now..." She smiled, turned and strode away. The gathered crowd parted to let her through, and Ephiny heard the whispers begin as soon as she passed by. She chuckled to herself as she reached her own hut. Going inside, she walked over to her armor chest. Pulling out her tracking gear, she slipped out of her best and replaced it with the soft brown leathers she loved so much. "Time to go pay Calliopis a visit methinks..." She slipped her shoulderpiece over her head and fastened it securely. "OK Ephiny, now best you keep your mind on the job at hand!" she said out loud to herself. Chuckling, she left her hut and headed towards the jail, her every thought on a certain strawberry blonde bard...

***

Ephiny sighed as she strode through the forest on her way to the sight where Terreis was murdered. Her visit with Phantes only served to prove he didn't kill her Princess. Now she had to find out who did before an innocent person was punished for the crime, and Ephiny would not be able to live with herself if she let that happen. But she needed proof to convince her sisters....

"Well here I am. Where to start..." She noticed some dung on the ground and bent down to take a closer look. "Hmmmm...hay sprouts." She scrunched her eyebrows together. Her thoughts were interrupted by a figure moving nearly silently through the forest. She quickly lit into the nearest tree and made herself unnoticeable, waiting for the intruder to make themselves known. They came into view shortly...it was Xena! "What is that bitch doing here?" she thought. She watched as the Warrior Princess bent down at the same pile of dung she had taken a sample from, then watched her move slowly around the area. scanning the ground. Her foot slipped and it snapped a small twig..."Damn!" She cursed herself.

"I'm not here to play games Ephiny." said Xena. "Come out before you make me hurt you." Xena coiled up and leapt into the same tree Ephiny was in.

"Well it's now or never." thought the blonde as she dropped down onto the same limb Xena was perched upon. Pulling her shortsword, she faced off with the leather-clad warrior in front of her.

"Don't do this Ephiny," Growled Xena menacingly. "We're on the same side..."

Ephiny's eyes narrowed. "Well your reputation makes that a little hard to believe..." She twirled her sword, let out a war cry and charged the brunette.

Xena sighed as she parried two quick slashes and a thrust, let out her own warmcry and flipped over the blonde's head, landing neatly behind her. "Ephiny, stop...we have to talk..." She parried another slash, this one to her legs.

"I have nothing to say to you Xena!!" She thrust forward, intending to gut the warrior.

"Then I will have to MAKE you listen!" She parried yet again, twisted the blonde's sword up and out of her hand, flipped over her and landing behind her again gave the woman a swift shove in the rear with her boot. She watched sadly as Ephiny plummeted out of the tree, trying to grab a branch on the way down. She managed to, but just as quickly as she grabbed hold, it snapped and she fell with a hard jolt face first onto the forest floor below.

Turning over slowly, she was trying to get her bearings when a centaur came out of nowhere! He raised his sword in triumph as she tried to scramble away backwards. Just as the centaur was about to slice and dice her, Xena dropped down onto the animal's back and disarmed him. A bit shocked, Eph's hand closed around her crossbow, and quickly arming it, fired it straight at her enemy. She was shocked yet again when Xena caught her bolt out of mid-air...two inches from that bastard's chest even!

Xena jumped off the centaur and ran to Ephiny. "Come on!" she yelled.

Ephiny realized she had better move here and FAST, since the centaur had just found his sword. She took off after Xena, and was swooped into the trees before she knew it, Xena following. They watched as the centaur grunted in exasperation and galloped off.

As they dropped down out of the trees, Ephiny swallowed her pride. "Thank you." A nod was all she got in return. She decided to tell the warrior what she had found, since she saved her life and all that. "Um, Xena..."

"Yes?"

"I was checking the ground here for clues, and look what I found..." She lead the dark-haired warrior to the pile of manure. "See this?"

"Yes I did..." Xena smiled. "The hoof prints around it show these were horses, not centaurs that ambushed your princess. The weight is clearly on the back hooves, while centaurs carry their weight on their front hooves." She crossed her arms.

"Ummm yes, I suppose you’re right. But I was referring to the hay in the manure.....centaurs don't eat hay."

"Very true." stated Xena, a small grin edging the corner of her mouth. She was darn impressed with this small blonde Amazon warrior. "Well, we best be getting back, there isn't much time before the execution..."

"Indeed. Let's go then." said Ephiny.

***

"But I can't kill him!" Gabrielle had been trying to reason with Melosa for about a quarter candlemark by now. "Please, you have to understand!"

"There is nothing to understand Gabrielle. Terreis's dying breath made you her successor, and her avenger. You cannot dispute Amazon law." Melosa crossed her arms as she lowered herself into a chair at her writing table. She looked intently at this little blonde, who was her heir to the throne. Oh yes, she did understand Gabrielle's situation, but if she did not adhere to the laws, she would be questioned and possibly cast down from her throne. "Gabrielle, if you don't kill him, you will be considered a traitor and you will die right along with him."

"Gods!" gulped Gabrielle. "Isn't that a little harsh? What about instead, kitchen duty for a moon?"

"I'm sorry my Princess, but you have no choice in the matter. You either do it, or you die." She let her look soften for a moment as she rose and walked to stand in front of the bard. "If it makes you feel any better, I do understand, I just can't do anything about it." Sad green eyes looked up into hers, and she felt herself feeling absolutely guilty as Hades. But, she could not back down. "I'm sorry Gabrielle."

The blonde sighed softly. "It's ok. I guess I'll just have to do it then..." She frowned. Turning, she walked out of the Queen's hut to go prepare for the ceremony. It was almost dawn now, and her mind wondered where Xena was. "I hope you're safe." The thought then crossed her mind that she missed the warrior. What would she do if something dire happened to her friend? "Oh my...Xena come back soon. I'm beginning to worry." Would she ever see those sparkling blue eyes again? Wait.....sparkling? What made her think of that? She saw the eyes again, and the warm smile that always seemed to be just for her. "I can't leave her and stay here to be princess...I just can't!" She sighed. "They will have to understand...I hope." She reached her hut and went inside to clean up some, her thoughts firmly on a certain Warrior Princess.

The edge of Terreis's sword rested against the flesh over Phantes' heart. Gabrielle's hands and arms were trembling all the way up to her elbows with the strain this was having on her psyche.

"What's going on here?" came a low growl from behind the crowd. Said crowd parted to allow the Warrior Princess passage to the dais.

"We're executing a murderer Xena...I thought you knew that." Stated Melosa in a growl of her own as the raven haired warrior stepped forward.

"Thank the gods. Xena..." said Gabrielle under her breath as she lowered Terreis's sword.

"Phantes isn't the murderer." stated Xena matter-of-factly to the Amazon queen. Reaching into her belt pouch she pulled out a ball of something. "Here is the proof."

Gabrielle reached out and took the proffered mud ball and rolled it around in her hand.

"Take a look at that piece of dung from the ambush site..." she gestured at the clod the Bard was now bouncing in her hand. "It has hay in it. Centaurs don't eat hay Melosa."

Gabrielle's eyes widened in shock and she dropped the dungball in record time. "Thank you! Thank you very much!" She shook her hands free of any dung remnants. "Eww...ugh!"

Melosa's eyes grew narrow. "That doesn't prove anything Xena, only that a horse was there. Centaurs are smart animals, they wouldn't leave traces of themselves lying around to incriminate them!" She gestured to Gabrielle. "Kill him NOW."

Gabrielle's eyes implored Xena to help her. 'Gods be damned, how does she get herself into these things?' thought the warrior as her mind raced for a way to extract her bard from this situation with as little blood as possible. Her mind latched onto an old scroll she had read while in the company of Cyane and her tribe of northern Amazons. 'That's it!'

Xena straightened and settled her most imposing, arrogant, dangerous and deadly look onto the Queen. "Melosa!" She shouted over the murmuring crowd..."I demand the challenge!"

The Queen's head whipped around like a slingshot. She laughed. "You cannot make the challenge, you are not Amazon royalty!"

Xena's eyes went to the bard, praying Gabrielle would get the hint.

The bard caught the strange look from her friend and glanced a second time to make sure this was what Xena wanted her to do. A subtle nod of the warrior's head gave her the courage to speak up. "She's not, but I am. I demand the challenge!"

"You? Gabrielle, surely you don't want to fight me to the death!"

"Not really." Replied the bard.

Ephiny's voice cut above the excited throng's noise. "Gabrielle....choose your weapon. Or....choose your Champion..." She rolled her eyes in Xena's direction a few times to emphasize her point.

Realization dawned on the bard's face even as she shouted. "Xena! I choose Xena!"

Melosa couldn't help but smile at the lengths this warrior would go to in order to protect her friend's blood innocence. 'Admirable. A far cry from the Xena I once knew.' "A good choice Gabrielle." Turning to the warrior, "Choose the weapons."

Xena narrowed her eyes. "Chobos."

"Very well." Melosa turned to Epinon. "Get them now."

"Yes my Queen." Eponin bowed before hurrying off.

Gabrielle ran to Xena's side as the Queen prepared for battle. "Where have you been?? I was worried sick! You could have at least sent a messenger..."

"Not now Gabrielle." Xena cut the bard off in mid sentence. "Fight now, talk later. Ephiny!" The Captain appeared next to her. "Anything I need to know about her style?"

"Yes. Watch your knees, she likes low attacks, and most of all her right side is her blind side..."

"Right, thanks." replied the warrior.

Eponin walked up and presented Xena with her set of chobos. She tested their weight and ran through a quick kata with them. Satisfied these would be good enough she turned to face her adversary.

Gabrielle walked beside her as she moved forward into battle. "Remember...her blind side is her YEOOOOW!" howled the bard as she flew back from the warrior. As she walked past Ephiny, she said in a low voice..."If anything happens to me, get Gabrielle out of here." Ephiny shook her head ok and the battle began.

Gabrielle watched in awe as the battle moved onto a tower lookout post, and then back to the ground, each warrior seemingly having the advantage at different times. But then Melosa left her right side open and Xena battered her back with a flurry of kicks and punches to her midsection...finally landing the Queen flat on her back on the ground. The warrior launched herself into the air and landed on Melosa, pinning her shoulders to the ground with her knees. "Don't make this to the death Melosa..." she said, barely out of breath, "I need your help..."

The Queen's eyes softened in acceptance of her situation. She shook her head ok, and Xena stood up, offering her forearm to the former Queen. Melosa took it, and was raised effortlessly to her feet. They looked at each other for a moment, until someone yelled..."All hail the new Queen!" The village collectively bowed to one knee, and Melosa bowed her head. Gabrielle couldn't take her eyes off of Xena. Then she felt eyes on her from behind her. Turning, she saw Ephiny looking at her, and as their eyes met, the bard saw the single tear glistening on her cheek. 'This is not good,’ thought the bard. Her thoughts were interrupted by the army of Centaurs now paused at the gates to their village.

Again, Gabrielle watched as Xena expertly avoided confrontation by throwing down her weapons. The Amazons all did the same...so Gabrielle did too! She watched as the warrior disclosed the traitor and somehow managed to forge an alliance with the centaurs to fight their common enemy. She was in awe...Xena was...well...practically radiating power! The bard basked in this, and was swept away by the magnetism Xena emitted when she commanded. Before she knew it, she found herself armed, and cavorting wildly across the countryside in a chariot pulled by two centaur warriors. Ephiny put her hand on the bard's shoulder. "Gabrielle..."

She turned. "Yes, Ephiny?"

"I know this isn't the time or place to be discussing this, but...I need to know..." she swallowed hard. "We won't be having a second date will we?" She averted her eyes.

Gabrielle sighed. How to explain this? "I don't think it would be a good idea Eph." she said. "I'm not going to be staying..."

Ephiny let out the breath she had been inadvertently holding. "I thought as much." Her eyes tracked to the tall, dark-haired warrior in the chariot in front of them. "If she ever hurts you Gabrielle, I will kill her."

Gabrielle's eyebrows practically flew off her face. "What???" her mouth went agape for a moment. "You mean Xena?" Ephiny shook her head yes. "Eph! You have got to be kidding!" Ephiny shook her head no. "Come on! She has no interest in me!"

"I see the way you look at her Gabrielle. And I see the way she looks at you, when she doesn't think anyone else is looking." She sighed. "I can see it all over your face Gabrielle...you are in love with her whether you know it or not." She turned to face her Princess. "And far be it from me to expect you to ever look at me like that. I am happy as long as you are, my princess."

Now the bard was stymied. Was she in love with Xena? To be truthful, she wasn't sure at all what love felt like...allbeit she knew it wasn't love with Perdicus. She stole a long look at the figure in the chariot ahead of them. She took in the long, raven hair blowing in the wind, noticed the beautifully chiseled profile...the muscles tensing and rippling with adrenalin. "She's beautiful." said the bard into the wind. Ephiny just shook her head and they rode into battle in silence. 

***

It was a short battle, but then most battles are when the Warrior Princess is involved. She's just that damn good.

Gabrielle looked over her shoulder at Xena when the ceremony was over. "Xena..." she queried.

"Yes?" replied the warrior in that low tone that made the bard's stomach do flips.

"Does an Amazon Princess beat a Warrior Princess?" She looked again over her shoulder with a goofy grin on her face.

Xena leaned in close..."Do you really wanna find out?" A sly grin crept into her words.

Gabrielle gulped. Damn those blue eyes were just melting her! "Ummm..."

Xena grinned and leaned in even closer. "What's wrong Gabrielle...harpy got your tongue?" She turned the bard around to face her. Xena knew she was flirting with danger here, but her blonde friend had started it after all. She watched as Gabrielle continued to be rendered speechless by her intense gaze. She hadn't intended to let the blonde see how deep her feelings ran, but the moment was here whether she was ready or not. And right now, she couldn't stop it.

Now poor Gabrielle could think of nothing but how close Xena was to her, and her knees gave out from the intensity. Xena reached her arm around the bard's waist and caught her before she could reach the ground, Gabrielle's arms instinctively reaching out to hold on to her rescuer. She looked deeply into those twin pools of blue. "Xena..." she whispered.

Xena's free hand came up to gently brush the blonde's cheek. "Gabrielle..." She closed the distance between them and softly pressed her lips against the bard's. Gabrielle's hands slid up the back of Xena's neck to tangle in her hair, sending gooseflesh up her back. Too soon, they had to come up for air...

"By the Gods Xena..." whispered Gabrielle. "That was incredible."

"Yes it was." she replied as the bard settled her head onto the warrior's shoulder and hugged her.

"Let's not wait another two years to do it again, ok?" said the bard with a slight giggle.

"Ok." replied the warrior. Her eyes took in the horizon, and the setting sun. "We best get a move on if we're going to find a nice secluded place to camp for the evening bard." added Xena with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Gabrielle shook her head in vehement agreement. Grabbing the warrior by the wrist, she began propelling them through the shocked crowd at breakneck speed. "What's the record time for saddling a horse?" she asked as she practically dragged Xena towards the stables.

"I don't know, but I'm sure you're gonna break it..." replied Xena under her breath as the bard dragged her along. She laughed wholeheartedly for the first time in a long time, and decided this was good. It was a very, very good thing.

END

[fmdjoosungarchive]

【✧】━━━ ♥ q u e e r n e s s      a e s t h e t i c ♥ ━━━【✧】

aesthetics, at their best, imo, are when you can feel the emosh behind them bc of how theyre made. so i don’t wanna describe it too much n like,, overexplain n plant ideas in ur heads but this is kind of a visual representation of how i think of sung’s current relationship w his queerness

love vs queerness

word count: 512ish

warnings: i talk abt homophobia

tldr; idk man

i watched a video essay of the appeal of toxicity to queer people and it got me thinking about how i havent fully explored this in relation to sung

since soon after his inception, i figured out that sung has the capability to accept love from wherever it comes, and whatever form that looks like

no matter how terribly he is treated by someone, he will do his best to try to forgive them and move on if they simply apologize and show they want to move on too

because of that apology, he’s also likely to make excuses if the agreed upon ‘moving on’ isn’t actually happening. if a person reverts to old patterns of how they treat him, he’ll think it’s a blip, or that because it was good at another point, it will get there again, or they’re just not feeling well, or anything else

what it comes to most is that he will accept the love in any form, because not accepting it would mean he would be alone

this doesn’t apply only to romantic situations, as i thought more platonically in the above points, but it perhaps has the worst effects in romance

the video brought up houseboys within the realm of queerness and how, for many, taking on this life was the only way young queer people could feel safe and loved, when they werent always safe nor loved

sung lives in a country that quiets queerness, at its best. if you are queer, keep it to the shadows. he also comes from a family that feels similarly

i don’t like giving the impression that sung’s parents are “bad” ppl and getting into my distaste of that could be its own whole hc, SO i say these things from the pov that sung’s parents are just people, who think theyre doing whats best for sung

however, sung is isolated in his family. his sister in law supports his queerness, but even then, she isnt queer. she cant fully Get it. he seeks out people who will understand because they are like him. and he’ll grab onto that, cling, pull it to himself, and try his best not to let go

he’ll lay himself on the line for anyone giving him the love and affection he feels he lacks no matter what that love and affection is

eye mean, he shacked up w his ex bc they slept tgt once,,,, broke his ‘rule’ abt waiting til marriage bc they made out once,,,, kissed the dude because he gave a little compliment

but the funny thing abt this is that sung doesn’t like toxicity in fictional relationships. he’s not drawn to them like many queer people are

ig you could call it his optimism, glass half full mentality, but he’s more of the ‘i can fix him’ type lol

probably the closest he gets are redemption type arcs. he can get behind those. but when he’s experiencing fictional relationships, queer or not, he’s more one of those ‘i suffer enough day to day i just want wholesomeness’ types

i cant relate lmao

---------------------------------------------

word count: 402

tldr; two + one prompt: at the expense of loneliness

-

“it’s okay. i forgive you.”

the small lifts on the edges of his lips didn’t match the face in front of him. complex, he’d call it. within there, happiness, relief, might have made up a slice, but overall, it read of anguish. he wondered if he’d said something wrong --or done? was his hand on his shoulder too much? sung removed his hand, furrowed his brow, but the face across from him didn’t change.

sung felt he could hear his heartbeat blasting in his ears. fear overtook what gentle energy he’d held before, changed all subjects in his brain to, “are you okay?”

-

“-hey, i’m sorry.”

the warmth of the arms coming to surround him made the muscles in sung’s face loosen, relax back into their natural form. sung didn’t like being upset. anger, of all emotions, drained sung beyond any other.

his arms circled too, enveloping the pair around him, adding another layer of warmth. his head leaned back over a shoulder, and his breathing evened out to a slow rhythm, lifting and dropping their arms in every round.

sung wondered, at times, what purpose anger served. sadness, while exhausting, left a sense of relief, once he’d outpoured the initial wave. anger never had that. -he always stopped himself before he got too far into that thought. all feelings were important; he could at least believe that on principle.

his voice came out worn when he replied, “let’s just move on?”

-

the breath’s intake was sharp, but the release let go of more than air. it needed time. “i understand.”

his hand reached towards sung’s, the ever so slight lift of lips across from him making it all the more difficult to follow through when he pulled his own hand back towards himself. “i’m- i’m not- everything isn’t just okay.”

amazing that a heart could be breaking, for so many different reasons. one edge mourning a loss, the other mourning the idea of loss. head versus heart wasn’t the issue here. heart and heart desired two things at once. forgive, accept, scrounge together what pieces he could to miminize loss. reject, shove him away, and risk losing what made days feel like they were worth getting up in the morning for.

aching to reach his hand out and grasp the one in front of him with all his might... sung had to resist. “i need change. it can’t be the same.”

---------------------------------------------

pwaywist (im lazy n dont wanna copy paste, cancel me next week)

i wanna highlight sum songs from queer artists that i think sung would like. we all kno he likes troye so i’m leaving them Out. i should have yubin or t swift on here but im attempting to b in my unproblematic era < 3

1 coconuts by kim petras

i watch a lot of asmr and coconuts is a common trigger word ppl use n i dont get tingles but every time i hear it i start singing coconuts n half of that time i think abt how sung (& jhwa but thats neither here nor there) would like it. like sure he doesnt have his own set of coconuts to Really vibe on the song but it’s the kind of track sung hears n is like damn wish i wrote dat it slaps

2 boys don’t cry by anitta

sung probably is too judgmental to like anitta as a person but as an artist, blast it up baybee

3 on the floor by perfume genius

i think sung has a crush ngl lol as a person but also an artist? sung loves how experimental they r and feels Inspo for their own music

4 bad friend by rina sawayama

honestly feel like rina is everything sung wants in a music artist sonically, which is hard to achieve, the bitch’s music taste is so eclectic

5 slide away by miley cyrus

yes this is an excuse for me to talk abt how andy as miley au is sick as SHIT but also feel like sung could become a miley fan in more recent years. also a hannah stan,,, someone introduce him

6 tanto faz by urias

this playlist is like 90% my own interests lbr idek if sung would have heard these songs i just think he would like them if he did ! and urias has the biggest it factor shes such a star, so ofc sung would luv dat, but i also think tanto faz is the song most in his wheelhouse of hers

7 dance with me by beabadoobee

bea’s stripped back vulnerable songs remind me so much of sung’s brain lmao rmr when i made a whole ass backstory for his childhood crushes bc of one beabadoobee song,, fitting

sung vs sexuality

word count: 438

tldr; i lied i am gonna overexplain. ive come back to add this in bc i dont think it should b in its own post. so this is where sung’s at with his sexuality these days

sung Is gay, but he doesnt think of himself as gay

at this point, i’m not sure if he will ever come to that conclusion, which i think is Fine. some may not agree with me, but i think that if he isnt actively harming himself by avoiding his desires, then it’s fine

and he isn’t!

but the way he thinks of it is like.. this isnt happening lol

he’s been hooking up w guys as of late n glosses over it, bc his overall thoughts on his sexuality atm are that ryoma was an outlier

he thinks he’s straight with the capability to love a very specific man

at best, he would have times he thinks he likes men and women, being bi without the label because i am Not Sure if he knows the label

idt in his whore phase he’s propositioned women, probably for a few different reasons. first, he’s gay. second, that’s not a boundary he’s crossed before, while this other boundary is Very broken, and that’s a little scary as well as one thing he can hold onto re: faith. third, he doesnt want the women around him to feel like he’s being like other men in their life, and feed into the idea that one day all the men in their lives will want sex. fourth, his hurt is over a man and in his subconscious way, is asking to continue to be hurt by other men because he feels lost without that one man around to love Or hurt him

but outside of the explicit canon, how i think of his journey with sexuality atm has a softness to it

if we take away the negative parts of his journey thus far, i think of it like a cracked door

the light is shining through, and you can look at the other side, see what’s awaiting if you’d just step through

a lot of the motifs that struck me in the og aesthetic were things along that line

flowers growing where they shouldn’t, a literal cracked door, blue, a color associated with a masculinity that sung has always struggled to fit into the box of being washed off, dipping a finger in water, testing it, making a ripple but not a wave, blindfolded from a beautiful creature a breath away, being caged by something paper thin

he’s on the precipice. like standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to jump to a warm, welcoming sea below

i don’t know if he’ll jump, if he’ll walk back, if he’ll sit there for a while, but i feel him on the edge

[possibilistfanfiction]

i got all the parts i wished for (it's an ache & it shines through me)

[anyway someone said they wanted carm & laura & their baby running errands n stuff etc on a cold november day so here u go, this has no real substance & is rly just gay]

//

i got all the parts i wished for (it's an ache & it shines through me)

.

is it a sign? or just a landmine?/ or a feeling roaming free?/ it's overtaken me/ gonna hold it 'til it dries up/ or pocket it for another day/ if it's me i cannot give up/ i'd rather that she stayed/ oh, slack jawed me/ can't you see?/ there's so many rhythms and harmonies/ & i'm walking the dog back —sylvan esso, “slack jaw”

//

the morning is the kind of harsh bright that tells you that winter will happen soon, that this is one of the last days you can comfortably wear sneakers and spend time at the park without freezing. you yawn once, just waking up, and when you turn over, there’s your wife and your dog and your son, all sound asleep, all various degrees of small. you watch them all for a few minutes, curled up and tangled, and your chest hurts, because they’re the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. you think they get more beautiful every day.

eventually, your stomach grumbles and carm cracks an eye open with a little smile. she’s tender with you, seemingly more so as time goes on, soft and sweet and honest. ‘good morning,’ she says in german, then yawns and shakes her head and says it again in english.

‘good morning,’ you say, and you want to kiss her but you can’t—you look down at your son and your dog again and she laughs, shifting to tickle both of their tummies. your dog scrambles around, trying to stand up, while your son squeaks out a little, delighted laugh and then babbles, reaching for you while he also has a death grip on carm’s hair. his eyes are a blue you don’t think you’d ever seen before until you watched them open for the first time.

you are so full of love in this moment, on this cold morning, that it knocks the wind out of you. carm looks at you curiously, because your breath catches and you feel like you might cry, but then she’s kissing your cheek and your dog is licking your son’s foot, which is making him laugh, and they’re all kind of a mess, and you just close your eyes and listen.

//

carmilla does things carefully now. not in a way that worries you—she’s not scared of hurting you, not timid. she just—cares. takes her time to make you dinner before you get home from work, a recipe she’d learned years ago in mumbai; just yesterday you’d watched her sit on the floor and rub waterproofing wax into all of your winter boots, working it in patiently with her hands, taking special effort along the seams.

you know why—the most special, quiet reasons. it’d taken you two years to convince her to go to therapy—four broken hands that hadn’t healed at vampire speed, more nightmares than you could possibly keep track of, and a lot of withholding sex—but she’d gone. with carm, you’ve learned that you need to go slow, with just about everything, but especially this. when she’d been in therapy a few months you’d suggested an emotional support dog for her, especially for during the day when you weren’t there. she’d certainly been enjoying her trust fund time, but you’d come home from work to her cowering in the shower, shivering, freezing and despondent. you’d come home to her sitting in the snow on your back porch in february, drinking whiskey and watching the sunset, and it was so cold out her eyelashes were coated with the remnants of frozen tears. you’d come home to carm hurt in so many ways, or reliving that hurt, tiny and beautiful and deeply sorrowful.

so you’d done your research and when you’d brought home a puppy to foster—his fur deep, deep black, his eyes light grey, with a sharp face, missing a leg; he was pulled out of rubble from a hurricane in the south—carmilla had held him very carefully, pet the length of his body with incredible gentleness, and smiled up at you. she’d decided to name him wittgenstein, so you’d insisted on calling him wit, much to her frustration. he’d very quickly become an important part of your family, and they’re scared of the same things: thunderstorms, sudden loud noises, when the subway gets stalled underground.

they’d healed, and it’d been years before you brought up the idea of children. when you had, though, carmilla had agreed much more quickly than you ever thought she would—but she had gestured toward your small, sleeping dog, his little sweaters in the corner and his organic dog food and his leash and snowboots, and then shrugged. you’d laughed and kissed her but you had understood: she is full of love, and she has always been full of care, even when it hadn’t seemed like it.

you’d adopted max months later, and carm had been terrified of him for a few days, you’re pretty sure. but she’s a fantastic mom, which you’d watched bloom and grow. she speaks lots of languages to him, whispers little songs when he’s crying. he seems to really like grabbing onto her hair, and she always gets up at night when he’s fussing.

the first time you’d brought him to visit her at work, in her little office with a mess of papers on the desk and what you’re pretty sure is hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of first editions and journals from famous philosophers on her shelf, she’d led you to a small café near campus, and a group of her undergrad students had run into you, and they had all melted at seeing her with this tiny, beautiful baby. she had grumbled but eventually laughed, his fingers curled around one of hers.

//

this morning you put max in his room, let wit stay by his playpen, and then walk back to your bed with carm trailing behind. you’re both laughing and you feel young again, you feel twenty again, when you lay this girl down beneath you and kiss her deeply, when you pull her body toward yours until she’s gasping your name in the golden light through the window. the hints of winter sun.

//

you lazily take a shower together, and you wash her hair, which she almost never lets you do. you kiss there too, although it’s without pretense, this intimacy. you get dressed in an easy rhythm, having shared this space for years. it strikes you sometimes at how profound and intense these ordinary moments of love are: of course you have fallen in love with her grand gestures—sneaking into palaces to dance at midnight, proposing on the roof of the philosophy building in the middle of a meteor shower.

but you hadn’t realized the magnitude of your love until you were grocery shopping years and years ago, and you had been getting vegan burgers from the freezer aisle, and when you had found her after she’d wandered off, she was closely inspecting pears, peering at them intensely. you’d been so floored by your fondness for her—this odd, brilliant, almost quotidian creature—that you still remember it now.

and this happens all the time, your love for her. when she’s making coffee and curses slightly when she spills a few grounds, then sighs and gets a clorox wipe from under the sink, when she talks quietly to max, when she smiles at you while you’re on the subway, holding your hand and not shaking at all.

//

today you have to run errands, but they’re not really important, so you bundle max up in his stroller and put wit’s sweater on, then his little boots. they’re really fucking cute, so you make carm wait so you can take pictures of them. she slouches and sighs but she’d put on a hat and a scarf and a legitimate weather-appropriate coat without having to be convinced or reminded, so you take it as a win.

she walks wit while you take the stroller, and you make her stop in victroire and of course she’s the one to find something; you go to jimmy’s for another coffee, chat with tahir, your favorite barista, throw the ball for a few minutes for wit at trinity bellwoods. it’s cold, and so you stop in at kenzo for ramen, try to feed max little tiny bits of noodles without making too much of a mess. you go to f as in frank and carm spends an inordinate amount of time trying on vintage sweatshirts, but she’s in a great mood today so she models them very seriously, which makes you laugh. it’s the only reason she does it, you think, which makes you love her more.

eventually, you can tell she’s getting tired, and max is getting fussy, and wit is panting. you make them all go with you to pick up groceries, though, the only real errand you’d had to run. you walk back with them to your little brownstone on euclid, and you’ve worked it out well enough by now that you can push the stroller, walk the dog, and hold her hand.

when you mention this, she laughs.

‘we really are parents then, hey?’

the tiny inflection at the end makes you stop, and take a deep breath, and she stops too, worriedly.

you shake your head, kiss her with all your might, so softly, right there in the middle of the sidewalk, golden leaves falling around, the last gasp of fall before the barren branches and snow. your son is babbling and your dog is shuffling around your legs, and carmilla—your wife—sniffles, just barely.

you back up and it takes you a second to form words, because her eyes are so dark and brimming with tears.

‘that was just very canadian of you,’ you tell her. ‘the “hey?”.’

she rolls her eyes with a messy, teary laugh. ‘that’s what caused a kiss like that?’

you shrug—you know you don’t have to explain it to her, not really.

she smiles, a grin, and you know what that means. ‘laura, i’m wearing blundstones.’

‘oh my god,’ you say, start pushing the stroller again as she jogs to catch up.

‘i have toque on—from roots.’

‘you’re an idiot,’ you grumble, but you’re laughing too.

‘i’ll make old fashioned’s with maple syrup while we watch degrassi tonight.’

‘i literally hate you,’ you say, but you glance over at her, dark hair and eyes and the prettiest skin, her warm heart and her beautiful brain, the golden light of the day waning, shimmering.

‘i love you too,’ she says, and reaches out to take your hand.

[cm-sheridan-writes]

Chat Window

However it happens, it starts with putting yourself out there and hitting the Enter key. Leading up, there are several little moments on the forum, and out of the sea of usernames, a few start to stick in your memory. Eventually, you begin to keep track of their posts.

It takes months, but you realize that you’re forming a picture of a few of the users. One usually shows up in the middle of the night, active for a few hours before disappearing again. You wonder if they have insomnia, or if they live out of the country. Curious one night, you search for other posts they’ve made, digging for clues, cultural references, anything that could give you an answer. It occurs to you that someone could be researching you at that very moment, and your fingers pause above the keys. Is this creepy? Are you crossing a line? You’re ten pages deep in their old posts, though, so any wisdom from this realization is too little, too late.

You start edging into the conversation around them. It’s a fine line that you’re completely anxious of: you want them to notice you, but you don’t want to be a bother. You play with the idea of a direct message, but without any sort of context or post to reference, it feels way too vulnerable. Better not. Besides, what if they turn out to be a completely obnoxious person, or a bigot, or they reveal that they love Ayn Rand, like, on a deep and cellular level? Can you deal with that? (Memories of reading The Fountainhead for a lit class in high school may scar you a little more than you want to admit. Your instructor clearly had some sort of expectation about that book when he assigned it, but whatever it was, you cannot imagine.)

(You post something about this lit class, and Ayn Rand, and spend a few hours commiserating with most of the replies. One Rand supporter sneaks in and questions if you really absorbed the piece, and you find yourself disabling comments because the ensuing brawl is cluttering up your inbox.)

A few weeks pass, and suddenly there’s a note in your inbox, and that familiar username is behind it:

One new message from snaplolcat01:

    saw ur post on ayn rand.. the comments were a trip and i read every single one. really glad no one made ME read anything by her

There’s a little flutter of validation in your chest, and you eagerly type back a response:

    Haha, yeah, the comments got way out of hand, I should have known what I was doing when I posted that. Yah, your lucky. There are a couple scenes I just CANNOT unread. If you want my advice, stay FAR AWAY from those books.     *you’re (ugh, first impressions, and that happens)

A few minutes pass without a response, and you shrug it off and click away from your inbox. As you scroll and tap and read and respond, you have a little, vague smile on your face. Being noticed is always nice. Communication is slow but constant over the next few days, whenever you find yourself near your computer and with some free time. They never seem to be on at the same time you are, but usually, you find a new response from them. You tiptoe around each other, keeping the talk to whatever latest drama is happening in some section of the forums, but you carefully reveal small pieces of yourself, and the conversation branches to news and politics, movies, and one day, when your schedules seem suddenly to overlap, favorite childhood cereals.

It’s been months, you realize, since that first introduction, and your talks would fill several dozens of pages at this point. For the most part, they still respond while you’re asleep, and one day, you say, “You’re always up so late, you must be on a different timezone than me.”

You’re up late that night, working on an essay, when one of your open tabs chimes at you. You glance up and click through, and in your inbox find:

    haha, well idk what ur schedule is but im only able to get on after school and work     i usually read stuff here til i fall asleep

The essay can wait.

    Oh, gotcha     What are you studying

The picture in your head starts to flesh out just a bit more. You find out that you two have a mutual interest in biology, though you’re in a pre-med track and intending to go into law school, while they’re doubling with computer science and interested in how this all ties in with genetics. They’re balancing a few restaurant jobs as well as a position grading for one of the professors in their department. You can sympathize with the lack of available time; you’re supposed to be writing an essay right now, after all.

    oh dude i dont wanna distract u!!!

    No, you’re fine!     I need a break anyway, my brain feels like cement

The process of sharing is natural, sometimes abundant and sometimes halts, but never feels forced. The person behind the pixels seems as flesh and blood as anyone you know “in real life”, though you’re forced to confront your growing disillusionment with that phrase. You’d scoffed at a friend in high school who had had an internet girlfriend, asking how the relationship could be real if you’d never seen them in person. The internet had been a barrier back then, and while intellectually it made sense that there was a human being on the other end of the Ethernet cord, it was like watching shadow theater play out behind a scrim. It had never made sense that someone could fall in love with what you only saw as black and white pixels on a screen.

More and more, however, you’re forced to accept that you know more about this person than you do about many of the people you see on a day to day basis.

****

    This might be a bit weird but go with me on this

    yeah?

    SO I’ve never ever seen you in real life, but it’s so weird that I know more about you than the girl in my cell bio class that I’ve been crushing on and I see her for actual hours a day     And I don’t know a damn thing about her     We braethe the same air     *breathe

    it’s wild dude     i know whatu mea n     (sorry long day, typing sucks haha)     one of my tas was talking bout th is at a party (she was hella stoned, fukin wild XD)     going on about global societies an d how we as like a people could connect so mjuch faster to somenoe acoss the globe     easier than th people we see evry day     somthing about a keyboard makes it easier     ^^^her exact words

    Whoa

    i know rt?     maybs if bio girl gave u her fb u two wopuld talk     fuck dude i gott slep     i kno my typing sucks but this is embararasing     *embasrasing     FUCK

    HAhahahaha, no worries     I should get going too (though I wanna hear more about this TA)     (I never run into any of my profs or anything at parties)

    haha highly recomend, its an EXPIERENCE     cya dude

This idea of global society sticks with you, and their TA’s comment about keyboards. A keyboard offers a backspace key, and a way to edit yourself. You’ve said plenty of dumb shit on the internet before without necessarily stopping to think through the consequences, but then it occurs to you that at the start of this whole friendship, you’d sometimes gone through ten variations of the same two-sentence message before finally deciding to send it. It was a series of self-edits and careful selection of which parts of yourself you’d wanted seen. Just like real life.

There was comfort in the distance, though. Without a person in front of you, and with the limitless communication offered by a message sitting in your inbox, you couldn’t see reactions -- or judgment. This correspondence held more personal information about yourself than some of your in-person friends knew.

****

    So I got Maya’s facebook page     We’ve been talking, and we’re going to get drinks this weekend, maybe see a movie if there’s anything good out

    YAY!     thats awesome1!!

    Thanks! :)     If we hadn’t talked about global societies and stuff a few nights ago I dunno if I would’ve gotten up the courage to talk to her. Your advice for talking via computer made it soooo much easier.

    so ur saying im resopnsible for this new relationship?     *responsible     ur welcome ;)

Drinks go fantastically, and you and Maya decide to forgo the movie and head back to her place. When you finally make it back to your computer, there are a few frantic, nosy messages.

    HOWZ THE DATE     cmon dude im dying to kno

    i can only assume ur havn massive amounts of sex rn     and im v happy for u     but i need to know

    r u alive????

You can’t keep the smile from your face, and you start to type out a response. Maya hadn’t thought it strange at all that you had an internet friend who had pushed you to finally ask her out. She’d even teased you, “Make sure to brag about me to your buddy.” The memory of that, her lips grazing your skin and her breath tickling your ear, raises goosebumps, and you shiver just a little bit. Some things just can’t be replicated over the internet, you decide, but friendship doesn’t seem to lack.

[pisati]

a few tweets came up on timehop today that really captured a lot. I was in new york for my grandpa’s funeral while still in the midst of an existential crisis over my job. I’d just lost Frankie. I was about to lose Scottie too, but I didn’t know it. my year last year really started off rough and it never looked up, it felt like.

> this is some whole new level of existential despair I’ve been in lately lol > u ever just feel really numbed out to everything except also so deeply affected by everything that ur chest aches > just kinda wanna not exist?? everything hurts all the time?? how do u turn back the dial on the emotional sensitivity machine???? > I think I’m trying to avoid being really really hurt by my grandpa’s passing and I tried to numb out to Frankie’s too even though the whole experience was something out of one of my worst nightmares and I’m still hurting over it > so I’m seeming really callous and unemotional about all of these awful things but the fact is I don’t think my heart can take any more hurt > I don’t know what to do about it but withdraw from everyone and I know that’s not healthy... plus I’ve already been feeling extra antsy not having anyone to really go to > but that’s what my brain says I need. just don’t talk to anyone. push em away. sit alone with all these awful thoughts because maybe you’ll work it out alone > maybe I will, maybe I won’t. on top of being surrounded by death I’m having a major life direction crisis and hoo boy does everything feel terrible all the time

I had to take bereavement leave for grandpa. I tried to be strong after Frankie, went in to work, but I couldn’t stop crying all day, so after Scottie I just worked from home. dad had to go to the hospital a few times too. I swear at my job they thought I was making it up to get out of work. as if I’d ever make up having that bad of a year. 

after Scottie things were okay for a while. after the wedding in June things turned to shit. I didn’t speak more than a few words to my best friend all of farm jam. after I got home from farm jam I got fired. I lost my dad in september. 

there were some good things too. definitely. they just feel so overshadowed. I only rhetorically asked how much more my heart could take. if I’m honest I think my emotional capacitor blew mid-2017. one thing after another. it feels like kicking a dead horse, except you’re the horse. what next?

I still feel like I’ve been in a fog since my dad passed. I can’t tell if it’s the chronic illness fog or depression or just not having a job or what. but I really got the shit kicked out of me last year. over and over and over. after dad I guess I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I haven’t even tried to have the energy to do things. I mean, I have. I’ve been keeping up with volunteering and crafts at least. sometimes I feel like I may have even gotten over dad’s passing, but it comes and goes. I suppose that’s normal. what are you going to do, you know? lie down and die yourself? dad doesn’t want that for me. there’s a lot I wish I could tell him about. it’s only been 5 months and there’s so much he’s missed.

but despite not remembering much, I think things have seemed to level out. it hasn’t really been bad since then. just very quiet.

I got my conditional offer. I’ve got nothing in my background, so I see no reason I won’t get the job. it’ll just take time. my rats have stayed relatively healthy, but I’m going to lose at least one of them this year. I’m bracing for it. at least his time is coming. I got to see some kickass shows, and I’ve got more coming. farm jam is making me nervous already, but I’ll get through it. I don’t have much to worry about financially. I’m getting closer to getting a diagnosis. mom hasn’t pushed me too hard to get an interim job. I’ve really established a special place for myself at the animal shelter. I got a lot of my things organized and I’m getting rid of more to make way for new things I enjoy. I’m not where I want to be, but I feel slightly more in control again. everything that happened last year was out of my hands, but nothing really that wild has happened since my dad passed. and I’m definitely grateful for that.

I don’t like constantly feeling like I’m waiting for the next thing, though. the last 8 months or so I could have been spending being productive, but I haven’t. feels like every day I’m waiting for dinner. waiting til my medicine alarm goes off. waiting til I’m tired enough to go back to sleep. waiting til I’m awake enough to get up and eat something. waiting, waiting, waiting. I know I’m going to miss this kind of time when I don’t have it anymore. 

it’s weird barely remembering even a year ago. everything just feels so jumbled up in my head. it’s there. but it’s too deep to get to, a lot of the time. I don’t have the energy to reach that far. it’s never been this bad before. I’ve been foggy, but never like this. now it’s really getting hard to function. thinking is so much energy. how can that even be? how can it be too much energy to encode new information? it’s so hard to describe the feeling of not being able to form new memories. it really is like hitting record and there’s just no tape. and it’s not necessarily that I forget; there’s some things I’ll remember if I’m reminded. like how I completely forgot my mom had asked me to make my grandma a valentines card until she brought it up after valentines day. I did remember her asking me. but where did that information go the minute after I got it? who the fuck knows. the best analogy I have is the sludge bucket. all the thoughts are little marbles. into the ears, into the sludge. the marbles are hard to find, but even harder to pull out. like trying to pull a boot out of mud. it’s unforgiving. and the pulling takes so much more energy than I have. much of the time the boot just stays in the mud.

I’m tired of this. I’m tired of sleep not being restful. I just hope soon I get some answers.