#wait that's how i got kidnapped by good omens
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 11 months ago
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Hi I'm Lauren I'm new to this app, I'm just trying to make some friends. Can i be your friend?
Hi Lauren! Yes of course! I'm Asmi, I'm, uh the Mascot of the Good Omens fandom, don't worry about it. Since you're new to tumblr and I was new less than two months ago, I'm going to give you the advice no one bothered giving me:
If there's vanilla extract in a poll, don't click it
When a fandom that has a lot of crying people tell you to watch something, don't listen to them, you'll be crying too within a week
Everyone here is either slightly strange or entirely unhinged (I fall on the latter end, I'm sorry)
But they're very sweet and I'm sure you'll make friends it's way better than any other social media site
Oh yeah we have neil gaiman too he's very cool. don't make the mistake I did which is I thought he wasn't real. He is real and he is in your falafel.
Good Omens just trends from time to time
You narrowly missed the Tumblr live era so when everyone's cheering about it dying just join them
That's all the advice I have because my journey on this hellsite has been slightly... not normal. No one has bothered to explain to me the significance of mutual culture yet. I don't know anything.
But welcome to the hellsite! If you survive it, it's fun!
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noforkingclue · 7 months ago
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dark request prompt: Aziraphale coddles the reader too much. He is far too permissive of their human. Crowley knows Aziraphale is soft and it hurts him when the reader flinches away from him. After a while it becomes grating. Aziraphale wouldn't harm a hair on her head, if she insists on "crying" maybe he should give her something to cry about. It's rare that Reader and Crowley are alone. Seeing the fear in readers eye's may sadden Angel, but it evokes a different emotion in Crowley.
Note: requests are currently closed
Of course anon! I love writing dark fics, especially for Good Omens and I hope you like this one :D
Title: Compromises
Warnings: dark fic, kidnapping, non con kissing
Crowley’s eyes narrowed as he watched you flinch away from Aziraphale. All the angel had done was make you a soothing cup of tea as per your request. All he wanted in return was a kiss. Something so small and insignificant, really you could’ve given him that.
But Angel was an Angel for a reason.
Aziraphale just closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of your head. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and gave you a brief squeeze before moving off. He glanced over at Crowley who was lurking between the bookcases. Aziraphale swiftly made his way over to the demon.
“She just needs time,” he whispered, “it’s all still new to her.”
“Time,” sneered Crowley, “how much time have you given her?”
“Patience, dear,” said Aziraphale as he put a hand on Crowley’s shoulder, “it’ll be better when she comes around on her own accord.”
“Maybe if I-”
“No.” Aziraphale’s voice was stern and you looked over at the two of them. Crowley and Aziraphale knew that you couldn’t hear them though.
“I mean,” Aziraphale lowered his voice, “we don’t want to scare her too much.”
“Are you saying that you don’t want her to return your affections?” asked Crowley
“Of course not!” whispered Aziraphale, sounding annoyed, “but sometimes it’s better to wait. She’ll be more grateful to us if we let her come to us by herself. We could do more damage if we’re not careful. No,” his voice said that there was no more room for discussion, “we’ll leave it at this.”
Aziraphale gave Crowley a pointed look and moved back into the main area of the bookshop. Crowley waited until Aziraphale was out of sight before turning his attention back to you. You were sipping on the tea and curled up in a chair, reading the book the Angel had given you. He stalked over to you, keeping to the shadows. You were so unaware of anything around you. Fuck, it was a good thing that he and Angel saved you. It would’ve been terrible if you got taken by someone who didn’t have your best interests at heart.
“Hello,” he said when he was finally behind you, “love.”
You jumped at the sound of Crowley’s voice, hot tea splashing about. With a wave of his hand the tea was back in the cup, the book out of your hands and the cup safely on a coaster. Crowley put his hands on your shoulders, digging his fingers into your soft flesh. You stiffened under his touch and Crowley leant down and inhaled deeply. Fuck, you had just washed your hair and he could still smell the shampoo and conditioner.
“Comfortable?” he asked
“I-”
His grip tightened and you whimpered. A fucking wonderful sound that he couldn’t wait to hear more of. If only Angel was willing to be a bit more forceful.
“Because we could’ve been a lot worse,” Crowley moved around so he was standing in front of you, “comfortable bed, good food, hot tea and all the books you want to read.”
He grasped your chin and tilted your head back so you were looking up at him. He pressed his thumb against your lips but when you didn’t open your mouth he dug his nail in. You let out a hiss and instinctively opened your mouth. He smirked as he pressed his thumb down against your tongue. He leant closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear.
“We could’ve demanded a lot more from you,” he said quietly, “so maybe you should think about what we’re really asking from you instead of what we could be asking from you. Understand?”
You nodded, eyes wide, as Crowley looked down at you. His gaze sharpened and he smiled and slowly pulled his thumb from your mouth. He closed his eyes at the feeling and said,
“So be a bit more grateful or you’ll learn why I’m a demon.”
He grabbed your hair and pulled your head back. He admired the arch of your neck, looking forward to the future when he and Angel would be able to mark it. Instead he pressed a bruising kiss against your lips. You let out a delicious whimper and your hands flew to his shoulders. He bit your lip gently (at least for now) before breaking the kiss.
“Remember what I said.” he said quietly
He left you, eyes wide and shining with unshed tears as he turned around. He spotted Aziraphale lurking in his old spot and he smirked as he sauntered towards him. Crowley pressed a brief kiss against the corner of the Angel’s mouth and said,
“I’m sure we’ll both find her a lot more willing now.”
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thewingedwings · 1 year ago
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So I'm going to be talking about Season 2 of Good Omens again. But this time with the well thought out idea I had at 4 in the morning.
So either Ep 5 or 6 when the book shop is being attacked. Aziraphale is asked if he has a plan, and he says, "Oh no, I don't, but Crowly has a plan he loves rescuing me" (or something like that)
And from what we've seen, any mess Aziraphale has found himself in. Crowly helps him get out of it.
And now, based on this and my experience of the Catholic Church. I will attempt to predict the a very rough possible plot of season 3.
My main idea is that throughout, like, the first 2 eps, Aziraphale, will be waiting for Crowly. Waiting for him to join him (I would also like to mention that this theory does cast aside the coffee theory and the 'they swapped' theory), but at Ep2, he'll be like. "Oh, I really hope Crowly doesn't bust in here and kidnap me wink wink nudge nudge" as he doesn't really enjoy what he's doing. He feels he's not making the changes he wants to see fast enough. It not what he thought it would be like.
This is where my knowledge of the Catholic Church comes in. From birth to about 17 ish I was at church every Sunday, every Holy day, every feast day all of it. And by about 14, I was very much done with all of that.
And I used to say to people, "I'm not a part of it, but I go because *insert excuse here* " and I thought this was fine, I got to seam normal to my pears but also appease My family. It was a win-win to me.
Eventually, I got a brutal verbal smackdown from a friend in a wheat field (long story) who told me, "You need to leave the church. You can say all you like about how you're 'not really part of it', but your ass is in that pew every Sunday. Your still apart of it physically and mentally unless you tell yourself the truth and quit being a pussy"
Which is when I fully realised that no one was coming to save me. I was waiting for someone to bust down the door, and we would drive into the sunset while listening to rock music. That wasn't going to happen unless I'm the one busting down that door.
And Aziraphale is going to realise this in the most emotional, heart-wrenching, dramatic way possible, and I am ready for it
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hermesserpent-stuff · 1 year ago
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spoilers for seidr iron ice for loki thoughts specifically so i dont forget. up to change lol
so i have a scene i want to write and am waiting a bit for were loki gets captured by laufey (leader of frost giants) to be used as a baraning chip with frigga to get his own son returned from asgard, not knowing loki is his child.
when capture happen loki still cant speak and his fox is destroyed. Quentin is there but there is a solid moment of him panicking over his throat being touched due to chameleon ~ trauma ~
loki has to deal with not being able to speak and asking for a chance to help Quentin without words. i think if i do it good enough, it can be a chance for loki to sacrifice pride to help someone else.
Moving on, they end up in the prisons and quentin is still trying to break the bindings. despite the anti-magic wards on the cell.
and then after breaking the binding magic explodes into loki's veins. similar to how harry got burned out. and thus the thing keeping loki's skin looking like a aesir shatters. and in a cell with quentin, in the bitter cold of jotunheim loki thinks he is a monster. And Quentin has to convince him to both calm down and that he is still worthwhile. it takes a bit.
laufey eventually is there and im still figuring out that bit. but in a dream i had i got the lines:
I am not loki of asgurd. I am not loki of Jotunheim. I am Loki of midgard.
so theres that.
also theres the whole true name/ omen name thing that has to be dealt with. Cause Laufey did not name his kid loki. but also loki is not gonna call himself something other than loki.
im not sure where laufey lands on the parent meter. Im leaning towards good parent who prolly doesn't want loki to leave the same day that he finds he is his son. but I'm not sure how to have it not be another kidnapping thing. ah well. i got time to dwell.
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the-firebird69 · 1 year ago
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Watch "The Omen | #TBT Trailer | 20th Century FOX" on YouTube
youtube
The two conspire to put me into her womb in order to kidnap me and to hold me prisoner. The demon you see here is the highest level demon and the cathedral is not from France but it was there for quite a while and it is from a holy place as is the other it does honor Father and Mother properly. You seen this process thousands of times here and he will be suspected to be one of you quite often but right now he is below the National Cathedral in Washington DC.
Zues
This is where I placed him on a firstborn and although he is he is not human but there is a human counterpart and that human counterpart is my husband our son controls his son and he is in the next cathedral and it's a rulership building and we had rules from there for a Time from the present or past recent past perhaps. He has a wife that I control and it's her first born almost human but not human at all and she is below the Cathedral De Notre Dame in France. And it is partially because of Notre Dame academy where my husband was forced to drive his grandma to school while she was pregnant with her own grandchilds or great-grandchild lily and an ugly scene that was a threat against him and and she was baloney and so is Mac she heard him say you've got your kids and that's what you got and they're not stupid and they help me and you a lot. He said they're still there for you and I told him that she doesn't know but she loves you anyways and they end up fighting these guys she says it to him and he says no way they refuse the logic because they're not technically competent and he gets it and tried to help her and they're going to try and get her out but that's not who the daughter is she's in another movie no she's in this one and she's not the mom of course he can see her in the background many times and the same with the video about bja in westborough the two are in the background and they're not in the cabbage plant either and the highest level demons and they're calling is now and they are to activate the devices all of the world but in the rulership cathedrals no those are the jobs of the son and daughter in law of ours we are to activate the one in Italy and other such places no that's where the hierarchy is
Hera I did hear my husband say it is our job we might have a stop before Italy that's what I hear
I do hear our name and I do understand it and I know where and when and I do know who it is and it's in Norway and it does happen there and it is for a very good reason and the spot is intense because that's where we're from and I myself placed him there and my wife placed the counterpart there and it is in our Hutts and that's what we call them this is a great moment because you remembered me and he says you got to be kidding we're glued together and I'm not worried about it but we both like privacy and it will be fine he says that and I do understand it we're going to go to town on these people and it's going to work but mine and hers will be raised after theirs and then the entire hierarchy and they do agree with it cuz that's how it was and how it is
Thor Freya
We agree with the method and we did talk about it no but it's going to happen that way and we now see why and this is intense because these two had planned to do that to him and he hates them fiercely and the max keep him stuck to him it's not a huge thing to go through and they want to be close to it and they want to learn all sorts of stuff really their memory is so piss poor thier just going to be horrified. And people are saying that it's JC and Mary and it remains to be seen genetically. And tons of people want to find out cuz they have to know we were waiting for it to happen no they're there right now at both cathedrals almost all of the higher-ups
In the Vatican and we see it now it's going on right now
About half of them are at those locations
We cannot wait to be rised, it will be done properly and we're glad
Olympus
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after-witch · 4 years ago
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Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Title: Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Synopsis: Escape isn’t easy. Nor is it very long-lasting. When Overhaul’s men drag you back into captivity, you brace yourself and wait for what your captor will do with you. 
Word Count: 7,592
Notes: yandere, kidnapped, humiliation, degradation, mentions of eating disorder behavior, improper use of household cleaning products, Overhaul is a mean man 90% of this fic is just Overhaul being an asshole to you
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There are going to be bruises on your shoulders. Fingerprint shaped bruises from the men holding you steady, afraid that you'll try to sprint off--maybe afraid that you'll try to spring at their boss, disobedient, unruly possession that you are.
You know that Overhaul won't like it when he eventually sees those black-and-blue fingerprints marring your skin--he might kill them for it, or worse. They're digging in too hard, but you don't warn them to ease up lest they find themselves on the wrong end of Overhaul's hands; they brought you back to this place, after all, and they deserve nothing but your hot, raw contempt.
You could run. You could slip out of their grip, if you put your mind to it. Your clothes are wet and the medical table that you're sitting on is slippery from the rainwater that's dripped out from your soaked clothes. But Chisaki Kai--no, Overhaul, you remind yourself, for the energy he’s exuding now is very much that of a foreboding boss--is standing in front of you, and you'd never make it to the doorway.
"Leave us," Overhaul says, not bothering to move as the men gripping your shoulders release their painful hold and swiftly leave the room. He tears off a sanitizing wipe from the ever-present canister on his desk and wipes down the doorknobs that they touched, before locking the door. An unnecessary precaution, given your nerves, given your state, given your realization that your escape attempt was a massive fluke that would never be allowed to happen again.
You numbly watch as he gathers up supplies from around the makeshift clinic he'd created in the small suite of rooms he allowed you to exist in. The canister of disinfectant. Medical-grade soaps. Sponges. A bucket. Needles, needles, needles... you remember the feel of the syringe you'd stolen in your hand and distract yourself from the fear of what he's going to do to you by retracing the steps of the past day.
**
You got farther than you thought you would--really, you did. At every stage of your plan, you expected Chisaki to suddenly reveal that he knew every step you'd taken so far. That he'd catalogued every act of false obedience to lure him into relaxing the rules, that he saw you swipe the syringe of tranquilizer from the clinic when he'd left for a moment to grab a fresh pair of clothes for you, that he knew you asked to sit with him at his desk only to sneak a glance at his calendar, so you could sweetly plead for an afternoon in the garden when he would be busy, when he would surely ask a highly trusted subordinate to watch over you.
A highly trusted subordinate who knew all about your weeks of good, sweet behavior and who was none the wiser when you'd jabbed him with the syringe, plunging the medicine, the same kind your captor once used to 'calm you down' when you were having fits, right into the man’s thigh. 
You didn't hesitate: you'd dipped your hands into the man's pockets, pulled out his wallet and ran. You barely remember anything until you were in the forest--you vaguely remember using the key card to open the gates surrounding the base, you remember the fear that at any moment you would hear an alarm sound; but from there, everything was a blur as you sped into the forest wearing only the soft day shoes you'd been given to go outside.
You made it through the forest, though not without bumps and cuts and sore feet and a dimly throbbing ankle that was thankfully only turned. You ran until you reached a small town, one you'd never been in before. You buried your first instinct deep, deep, deep: do not contact the authorities. Who knows what connections Overhaul had, especially in a town so close to where he operated? So instead you waltzed into a little corner shop and made a beeline for the bathroom--where you promptly vomited out your breakfast as all of the anxiety and fear and adrenaline caught up with you in an instant.
You remember staring into the bathroom mirror afterwards, your face cold with splashed water. It was then, staring into your pale and anxious face, a face you hadn’t been allowed to see in a mirror for ages, that you felt freedom slamming back into you. You could do what you wanted, now. You were going to get your life back. You could make your own schedule and have your own hobbies back and eat what you wanted and--your stomach had gurgled, as if on cue. You had to get something to eat. But how would you pay?
The wallet you'd pilfered felt heavy in your pocket, and you opened it without a second thought. No cash. But a credit card. It would do, until you were able to get some cash of your own. You wandered back into the shop and even now, you can still feel how struck you were by how cozy, how nice, how different it felt. Just a small general store with big open windows and soft music in the background, and an old woman behind the register who immediately asked you if you needed any help finding this or that.
You smiled--a real smile, how nice that felt--and shook your head and loaded up a basket. A first-aid kit, a large water bottle, a toothbrush and toothpaste... then came the snacks. Candy. Chips. Soda. Things you hadn't tasted in so long. You even grabbed a pointless fashion magazine. The old woman had glanced at the name on the card and you offered a sheepish smile, a fake one that made you feel a pang of guilt for lying to her: "My boyfriend sent me to do the shopping. He's no good at this stuff." She'd smiled and nodded, oh I understand dear, before packing up your order.
You stepped out into the sunshine--you can't pretend like you remember how it feels, right now, shivering from the damp rain on this table--and took a deep breath of fresh air. It smelled crisp and sweet and clean. Not the sterile cleanliness of your captor's clinic, but truly pure--real. There was a slight tinge to the air, and you spotted grey clouds on the horizon. Not an omen, no: just another sign that you were outside, you were in nature, you were free. The smell was the promise of thunder, of electricity, of cool rain.
It also smelled like... well, lunch. Or more precisely, you smelled the vague scents of the little pizza shop a few shops down.
And here is where you made, looking back, your biggest mistake. You should have headed to a bus station. Or called for a taxi. You should have gotten the hell out of there right that second. But your mind flashed back to Overhaul's little calendar, the words printed neatly in the little square for today: he would be away until the evening, which meant you (surely, surely) had a few more hours before he came back and discovered your escape.
He’d ordered no one to bother you and your now-unconscious guard in the garden, so if no one saw you run out, then an alarm certainly wouldn’t raised for a while. You had time, didn't you? Time to grab a meal? You could always get it to go, and you could even ask an employee inside about buses or taxes. Yes, it was fine--you would get a few slices to go and hop on a bus and leave forever. More than that, it was practical. You needed energy, and the junk in your bag--while undoubtedly delicious--wasn't going to be enough to sustain you for long.
The door to the pizza place dinged when you entered, and you almost teared up at the normality of it. It was a buffet style place, with rows of pizzas under yellow-cast lights and rows of red booths and people lifting slices onto their plates with shared tongs. Unusual for a small town, but maybe it was a remnant from a more bustling time, when American-style pizza places were all the rage. For a moment, your thoughts had turned back to your captivity: Overhaul would have never set foot into a place like this--nor would he have let you. Germs, germs, everywhere. And you loved it.
You paid with the card, but there was no need for excuses this time--the young man behind the register didn't even check for a name or signature, much less ask for identification. You asked about a to-go box and he'd shrugged, mumbled out an apology--they didn't do that here. You have to eat inside.
For a moment, the rational part of your mind screamed: get the hell out of here, then! But your stomach growled, and hunger beckoned, and damn if that row of glistening pizza slices didn't make you want to eat. And eat.  And… eat. You shoved repressed thoughts deep down, your heart hammering all the while, and took a tentative step towards the buffet. Thunder rumbled as you debated. You could be out of here in... 30 minutes? Enough time to eat--to binge, your mind whispered, you can now--and maybe get it out after? Yes, it would be fine. (It would not. Future you, the one sitting on the table and watching in increasing anxiety as Overhaul finishes up his tasks, wishes she could tell you.)
You should have seen the start of the rain, sudden and relentless, as a bad sign. Instead you ignored it and filled up a large cup with diet soda that spilled a little when you forgot to let go of the button. You ate without thinking, not even really enjoying the taste of the first greasy pizza slices you’d had in ages.
You were on your fifth slice when the restaurant doors dinged, but the sense of small town charm was overrun by the immediate realization that you were caught. You were fucked. The air thickened--were you the only one to notice?--as two men in slim suits entered the restaurant with an air of immediacy. You were spotted in a second, if that. You thought about running.
But then you thought about the bored teenager behind the register and the old man cutting up his wife's pizza slices because she had trouble chewing and the little girl stacking up pepperonis while her mom chatted on the phone and you resigned yourself. You didn’t want anyone else to get hurt…even if it meant giving in. You didn't struggle, couldn't struggle, and let them lead you swiftly outside where the torrent of rain soaked you immediately  as they pushed you down the block, where an unmarked car waited. You glanced up helplessly as the cloudy sky and rain streamed down your face before you were unceremoniously pushed into the backseat.
Overhaul was sitting inside, staring at you with an intensity you've never seen before.
**
Your backpack drops with a thump next to you and you flinch out of your memories.
"Let's see what you bought with that stolen card during your little adventure."  His voice is deceptively calm. He must be furious with you, you think. And you can't believe you didn't think about credit fraud alerts before you used the damn card.
The noise of the zipper is thunderous and you scoot yourself back on the exam table, pressing against the wall to put a little more room--even if it's only inches--between you and your captor. He begins to pull everything out of the bag, one by one, and seeing it all lined up makes it clear what type of lecture is coming.
A few bags of chips, a bottle of soda, bars of chocolate, all junk, junk, junk. All food he would never permit you to eat, and certainly not in such quantities.
"Disgusting," he murmurs, before tossing each item into a trash bin kept against the wall, one by one. You cringe at the sound of each bag, each bottle, hitting the bottom of the trash. You didn't even get to taste them. He stares at the trash, eyes narrowed, as if the food itself was worthy of his venom. "Full of unnecessary sugars and fats and oils. Eating so much of this will make you sick. We've talked about this."
You say nothing. You press your lips together. You won't give him the satisfaction of argument. You won't let him pretend like he has any right to lecture you on what you eat, and certainly not what you eat after you've escaped (however briefly) from his clutches.
"At least you didn't have time to ingest them during your ill-planned escape, hm?" He replaces his previous gloves--tainted with the thought of germs on the junk food bags, no doubt--and your stomach flips at the sound of the medical gloves he's snapped on in their place. "Which is more than I can say for the pizza." You never knew someone could say pizza with such a ridiculously nasty tone, but you've learned a lot of things during your captivity.
"You weren't content with this junk hoard," he says, gesturing towards the trash while keeping his eyes firmly on you. "You had to gorge yourself on greasy pizza from a dirty buffet, too? We are going to clean your mouth out, by the way.”
You hate the way he says gorge--you hate the way he says greasy--you hate the anxiety that comes with wondering what he’ll do to ‘clean’ your mouth. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. The hate makes you answer defensively, despite your earlier resolution to stay quiet. You can't help yourself, in a lot of ways.
"I was hungry," you say, still feeling defiant.
"No one working on their fifth slice of pizza is hungry," he answers, simply. You feel diminished, but not enough to shut you up.
"So? It's not your business what I eat anyway.” A familiar tightness is springing to your throat. You don't want to cry in front of him ever again, so you clip the words out, fighting to retain control.
He presses a fist to his forehead in a sudden, rather surprising show of frustration. "Not my business? Not my business? It's my business to take care of you. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you out there?"
The fullness in your stomach, the cold rain soaking you, the remembrance of the wind and branches lashing at you as you ran hours before, all these freedoms have made you feel bold. Or maybe you're succumbing to the effects of an adrenaline crash and you just can't control your mouth.
"I could have been free. You can’t--you can't just keep me here. You can't just kidnap someone and decide you know what's best for them."
There's a long, steady pause as he stares at you. His expression--what you can see from his eyes--is blank, and you almost wonder if perhaps you've stumped him.
"I can," he says, lightly. Easily.
Fucker.
He sighs, and you get the distinct impression that you’re a nuisance, something to deal with, something he’s having to deal with instead of doing far more important things. "You’re showing a severe lack of appreciation for all the work I do to take care of you."
You don't know how to respond to that. "You kidnapped me.” It’s all you can think of--the bare truth.
He doesn't speak at first. Then he lifts something from the supply tray he's set up--a blue hospital gown, thin and short, and tosses it towards you. You catch it instinctively, feeling the thin, feather-light material in your fingers. He tosses a towel, next, and you hold it against your damp chest. He turns around.
"Change."
You don't want to. You don't want to. But you've never pressed your luck on what would happen if you refused to get dressed before, afraid that he might do it himself, and that fear overrides any thoughts of outright rebellion. For now. You slide off your wet clothes and push them towards the end of the table, then use the towel to dry off your skin. There are scratches and bruises, including a nasty looking one that's already turning green on your ankle. Your feet are swollen from running on the hard forest floor with your thin day shoes.
When you're finished, you clear your throat, and he turns back around. He tosses your wet clothes right into the trash--damn, you liked that shirt--and wipes off the table with a separate towel. You sit, legs dangling off the table, and wish he'd just get the punishment or examination or whatever it is he has planned over with. You can feel the coldness of the table through the medical gown, and its thinness makes you feel even more helpless. Weak. You want to retain that feeling of freedom that you had earlier in the day. Even choosing to return without a fight, choosing to avoid hurting the innocent people in that town, made you feel bold.
He stands in front of you until you force yourself to look up, to get it over with. He's swapped out his mask for a medical one.
"Have I ever hurt you?"
You hate this.
"No," you admit, voice tight. "Not physically," you add spitefully, because fuck him for trying to make himself sound like a decent person because he kidnapped you but didn't happen to hit you.
"Do I take care of you?" His tone is firm, commanding. It leaves no room for silences. Instead, it makes your stomach feel light, makes your heart feel like it wants to race.
"I can do that on my own," you counter.
"Can you?" He says, voice dripping in condescension.
"Yes," you spite, bile rising into your throat. "I can take care of myself."
He reaches back and grabs the little stool he keeps in this room, rolling it up to rest in front of the table and in front of you. He sits down and cups his hands together, resting them on his thigh. He leans forward. An easy gesture. Like he wants to have a conversation. But something about his movements sends out warning signals. Big, glaring, flashing warning lights that scream DANGER.
“You can take care of yourself.” It’s a statement, yet the way he says it is brutally mocking.
“I can,” you insist, your voice cracking just the slightest bit under his gaze.
"So, where would you live?" He watches you intently and it takes a moment for you to realize what he just asked you. He isn't offering you freedom, no. But maybe you can win an argument, just this once, and forcibly stop his delusions that he's "taking care of you."
"Anywhere," you say, but he looks unimpressed. "An apartment," you correct. "Like my old one. Doesn't have to be big." Your heart pangs with nostalgia for your old place, for your independence, for your life.
"Ah." Overhaul brings a gloved finger up to his chin and rests is there, nodding, as if he's seriously considering your words. "And how will you pay for rent at this apartment?"
You can't resist the snarky tone. "A job."
He rests both hands on his thighs. "Tell me, how much did you make at your last job, again? No--tell me, how long did you hold your last job?" You cross your arms defensively around your waist as he continues. "If I recall correctly, you were fired rather quickly from that one... and the one before."
You squeeze your waist, hoping for the tiniest bit of comfort from the gesture. "I... it wasn’t my fault.” You feel like you’re under a magnifying glass. “The first time. And the second, well, I was looking for something better, anyway."
He raises his eyebrows, curious. "Looking where? At the bottom of a bottle?"
Your entire body tenses.
"After all," he continues, voice almost taking on a syrupy sweet tone. "Your fridge was so well-stocked with them. Hmm. Do you think it's responsible to spend so much money on alcohol when you're behind on rent payments?"
"No," you say, voice tighter, "But--"
He doesn't give you a chance to finish. He stands, and you immediately squeeze your arms again. "And how much were you spending on other luxuries? Those clothes you kept carelessly shoved in your closet... they were a name brand, weren't they?"
Your throat is dry and your mouth is dry and you lick your lips. "There were sales," you insist.
"Ohh," he says, his voice lifting in mockery. "And I bet there were sales on the jewelry, the trinkets, the--" his eyes drift upwards, an implication of his disdain, "--figurines."
You lift your chin in defiance. "I'm allowed to buy things that I like."
He begins to pace. Not aimlessly, no, nothing with him is ever aimless. He paces until he stops in front of you, turning to face you for effect.
"What happens if you're late on three rent payments? Remind me of the policy that decrepit building you called an apartment complex had."
You squirm on the table. "I was only behind on two--"
"What happens?" His voice is firm. You can't avoid it.
There's a pause before you murmur, unwillingly. "You get evicted."
"So." He takes another step, and turns back towards you. "Do you think it's responsible to spend money you don't have on luxuries, when you're behind on rent?"
You want to run. Maybe you should have run at him earlier. Getting tossed into a solitary room after attacking him might be better than this interrogation.
"No," you admit. You swallow, dry and thick and a bit painful. "Okay. I'm not great with money. I bought things to make me happy because I was stressed out about---life. It's not that big a deal. I--I didn't get kicked out, anyway."
He sits again, but keeps himself upright, the air of faux casualness replaced with an air of command. "How did you catch up on your rent? Tell me."
You hate him. You stare at him, hoping he'll end this, but he simply stares at you until you blurt out the words. "You paid my landlord. Anonymously." You stare down at the floor, at the drops of water still there from earlier. "I didn't ask you to. I would have figured something out."
"I'm sure."
He stands, and you stare at the wall until you hear him roll the tray of supplies towards the table. Your body trembles of its own accord when he grabs your arm firmly and wraps a blood pressure cuff around the top. You sit in silence as the cuff gets tighter then mercifully deflates.
He tsks at the number, and jots it down on the pad resting on the table. For once, you're not tempted to peek.
"I need to take some blood," he says, and you stick out your arm in automatic, habitual compliance before your brain even realizes it. He grips your wrist firmly while he swipes your arm with an anti-bacterial agent.
"How much do you weigh?" He asks suddenly, voice nonchalant.
You stare at him, incredulous. He's never brought up weight before. He’s always been careful to avoid details about weight, nutrition--calories. The most he would do is point out that you need a well-rounded diet with the right vitamins and nutrients, and ignore your questions about sauces and cooking oils and grams, all attempts to find out something that could give you an ounce of control over what’s going into your body.
"I--I don't know.  You don't let me look at the scale when I step on it." He knows this. He knows that he's forbidden you from seeing the number, because he knows about your past, knows your tendency to get obsessive and strict and focus on food and weight and worth.
"Why don't I let you look at the scale?"
Your stomach feels like it's twisting.
"I don't know." The lie is bitter on your tongue.
The casual tone in his voice when he replies is far more biting than any cruel insult. "Yes, you do." 
His words are punctuated by the harsh medicinal smell of the next wipe. But you're in no mood to appreciate that he's still choosing to numb your skin despite your earlier transgressions.
The tears you felt building earlier begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. You don't want to cry, you don't want to cry, you don't want to cry.
“Why don’t I let you look at the scale?” He repeats, firmer, more insisting. He winds a band around your arm and taps at your veins.
Your arm looks fatter, like this. You swear it does. You look away to avoid your arm and the needle and his gaze.
“Because, um, I sometimes have problems with food. Or weight. Or whatever.”
“You have an eating disorder,” he tells you, all business as he plunges the needle into your skin; there’s only the ghost of a sting as he begins to slowly draw your blood. But you barely feel it, you can only feel the impact of his words, blunt and hateful.
"You were going to throw up in that germ-infested hovel. Eat until your stomach was distended, then head into a bathroom--which I'm sure the staff hadn't cleaned in ages--and stick your unwashed, greasy fingers down your throat until it all came back up. Am I correct?"
You can't tell if you feel woozy because of the needle or the way that your heart is racing at his words. Throw up. Greasy. Disgusting. You're disgusting.
"Stop it," you say, voice muddled with humiliation and anger.
He pulls the needle out, and quickly presses a bandage to your skin. He keeps a finger there, firm and pressing. He looks up at you, now, as he continues his onslaught.
"And then what? Let me make an educated guess. You were going to get on some filthy bus and open up all the junk you bought earlier? Perhaps," he muses, as he rips off a piece of tape to keep the gauze in place, "you could have asked the bus driver to stop at a public bathroom for a vomit break. And you'd probably make sure that whatever flea-ridden hotel you found along the way had a scale in the bathroom so you could keep track. And another one of your delightful," he practically spits the word out, "cycles would have started, hm?"
"Stop it," you repeat, voice breaking. "I wasn't--I wouldn't have--"
"You were going to," he says simply, interrupting. "Thankfully, we got there in time. Although I'm sure now you will endure a stomach ache after your reckless indulgence. A lesson, perhaps, though not the exact one I would inflict myself."
As if on cue, your stomach rolls and clenches. You’re keenly aware that you’re going to have digestive problems tonight, and the thought of being at his mercy while you’re dealing with them threatens to send you over the edge.  Could you get even more disgusting? The thought of how you look right now, stomach no doubt bulging, hair disheveled and damp, covered in ugly bruises and cuts--combined with the fear of spending the night on a toilet sends you over the edge.
You press your knuckles against your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut and try to force the sobs down. Your body begins to tremble, even more so as he lifts your leg. Without warning, he begins to unceremoniously scrub it down with a sponge dipped in disinfectant.
It stings and your eyes feel like they might pop at the sudden pain. You hiss at the feeling of the liquid on your cuts and try to pull away, to no avail. Your legs feel like jelly in his grip.
“That hurts,” you whine. 
“It can’t be helped,” he tells you, holding your leg firmly as he scrubs the sore bottom of your feet. Any sensitivity you had there is overruled by the soreness and pain from running, from the stinging aches that remain in your cuts. “I have to clean every cut or you may get an infection.”
He sets your leg down and lifts up the other, and you cringe before he even begins to move. You can’t help but whimper as he scrubs your leg, and the helpless stings of pain only increase when he moves on to your arms.
“Please,” you say, feeling low, nearly flattened. “I can’t… I can’t take this.”
He pauses, and the seemingly genuine concern in his eyes (it’s not, you remind yourself, it’s not--you think of the shop and the pizza place and the old man cutting his wife’s food, that was concern, that was care) has you feeling sorry for yourself.
“The stinging will go away in a few minutes. You chose to run away, you can certainly deal with this minor consequence.” He retains his grip on your upper arm and he swipes the sponge across your shoulders, briefly pushing the fabric aside as he does so. He pauses when he sees the blooming fingerprints on your shoulders, but says nothing.  You wonder if those men will survive the night.
There’s a a cut, thin and long, dragging from your collarbone down across your chest. He dips unceremoniously below the gown, touching you in a spot he normally avoids. The feeling of him so close, touching you--not quite on your chest, but close enough--only intensifies your humiliation. You whimper again and try to pull away, but his grip offers no room to move.
“I can’t--” You don’t finish. Your throat is so tight and you hate it, you hate that you can never talk about anything with him, never argue with him without clamming up with tears and a thick throat.
You bring your hands up to your hair, tugging on it until it prickles. Your breath starts to come in short bursts, your chest having as you pull on your hair and will yourself to be anywhere but here. For a flashing moment, you wish you’d never tried to escape. If you didn’t, you’d be getting ready for bed right now. Things would be--not okay. Never okay. But you wouldn’t be here, on this table, cold and stinging and in pain and utterly despondent from having your failures shoved in your face. But then you remember that if he’d never kidnapped you, you wouldn’t have had to try to escape in the first place, and the wish fades.
He remains silent, and instead simply keeps a steady, firm grip on your upper arm until your breath slows, until you can control yourself. Your skin feels at once numb and prickling in anxiety and adrenaline and emotions coursing through you.
Overhaul gives your arm a squeeze that is, perhaps, meant to be reassuring. “Are you suitably recovered?
You nod. Your stomach feels sour. You want to ask if you’re done, if you can just go sleep or get sent (you dread the idea) to solitary confinement or whatever it is he has planned in the wake of your escape. Anything would be better than this room and this soft, thin gown and his bright blue surgical gloves and your failure hanging in the air.
He extends his arm out and you pause for a moment before you grasp it, holding tight as you get off the table and stand on wobbly legs. You’re loathe to touch him, but you’re even more loathe to fall flat on your face on the hard floor.
He speaks before you get a chance to ask if you can change out of the medical gown.
“Now, we’ll go to the bathroom.”
Your knees suddenly feel like they might drop out from under you. “The bathroom?”
He nods, and pulls himself away from your weak grip as he begins walking towards the door. You follow without thinking, pausing when he stops to slide his medical gloves into the trash before slipping on another pair.
“We’re not finished here,” he tells you, and you swear his voice is almost giddy as he turns his head to meet your questioning face. “I told you earlier, we’re going to clean your mouth out.”
He can’t mean--
You take a step back, and your knee buckles. He’s quick--he catches you before you fall, but doesn’t let go. His pulls you upright and pulls you along. Your legs have no choice to walk--walk or be dragged--and you struggle for words as he leads you out of the clinic. Before you know it, you’re back in your room (familiar, warm, the same as it ways this morning) and led swiftly into the attached bathroom.
He pulls you in far enough that he’s able to shut the door behind him, trapping you inside. As if you wouldn’t be trapped by his mere presence. For a moment you wonder if he was bluffing, trying to scare you into submission, but by the time you take another breath he’s running the sink water and tearing into a new box of bar soap.
Your voice catches as you finally speak up. “You--you can’t be serious.”
“What makes you think I’m not serious?” He doesn’t even face you as he speaks. Instead, he turns on the tap and fills a paper cup with water before setting it on the sink’s edge. Next comes the bar of white soap, which grows slick underneath the water. He turns off the tap and lets the excess water drip off, before turning to you, soap bar in hand.
“Open your mouth.”
Your lips press together automatically, and you shake your head. No, no, and no. This isn’t happening.
He sighs, and again the feeling that you’re annoying him creeps under your skin. Why does it bother you that you’re annoying him? It shouldn’t bother you at all, but somehow you feel a pang of regret at how much has changed in less than 24 hours. 
“If you don’t open your mouth willingly, I will open it for you.” He takes a step closer, but your legs feel heavy now, rooted to the spot. It isn’t like there’s anywhere you could run, anyway. “I don’t want to do that,” he continues, voice slightly softened. “Cooperate and open your mouth.”
What choice do you have? You could protest, you could argue, you could leap into the bathtub and make him fight for what he wants. You could keep your mouth shut tight and force him to find a solution. But he is stronger than you, in more ways than one, and he would get his way in the end.
So you make the only choice available to you. Your entire mouth shakes and seems to fight against you as you slowly open your lips in compliance. You feel stupid, standing here with your mouth hanging open.
You can’t reflect on the feeling for long, as he wastes no time in shoving the bar inside your open lips. You can’t help but whimper at the intrusion, but he doesn’t let up and begins methodically scrubbing at your tongue. At first, there’s no taste--then the built-up slick of clinical soap makes itself known, and you take advantage of the soap slipping out of your lips to press them together again, denying him entry.
“Open,” he orders, soft and firm.
And you do, heaving your shoulders in an unreleased whimper. What else can you do but listen? He continues to scrub, this time moving the bar into the side of your mouth to scrub at your teeth. The clammy, greasy feeling of soap coating your teeth makes you curl your wide open lips downward. You must look ridiculous, in all respects, lips gaping in an unpleasant frown as your captor mercilessly soaps the inside of your mouth.
“Do you not like the taste?” His eyes glance over at your frown, and the mockery in his tone is more than blatant. 
“Uhh-uhh,” you mumble, open-mouthed, shaking your head. The position you’re in--Overhaul scrubbing into your mouth, your shaking body, the dim feeling of your bruises and cuts from earlier--makes you feel so painfully exposed. So painfully helpless.
He hums and rests the soap against your tongue. Before you can attempt to move your tongue, lessen the feeling of the taste of the soap against it, he gives you a command.
“Bite down.”
Your teeth sink into the soft bar, keeping it in place, and your whimpers grow stronger at the humiliating order you’ve just obeyed. Could you sink any lower?
You watch him through tear-brimmed eyes as he moves to stand in front of you. You know what’s coming before he even speaks and when he does, it’s no surprise.
“Have I ever hurt you?”
Back to this, again.
You shake your head, mumble around the soap: “No.”
“Are you capable of being on your own?”
You hesitate, and he merely jumps to another question, one far more pointed.
“Have you held a single job for longer than a year?”
You want to protest, but any attempt at complicated speech is marred by the soap--the weight of it, the taste, and your need to keep it steady in your mouth.
“No,” you admit, hating the feel of the bar as your lips press against it with the effort of speech.
“Would you have been evicted if I didn’t pay off your debts?”
“Yes.” Tears sting at your eyes. You want to wipe them away but you’re afraid you’ll get soap in them, somehow.
“Are you responsible enough with money to hold a job, maintain an apartment, and buy yourself the necessities for life without someone else stepping in?”
The soap somehow tastes even more bitter. “No, I can’t.” Your tongue pushes up against the soap at this, and you resolve to keep it to one-word answers only.
“If we didn’t intercept your little outing, would you have attempted to throw up at that restaurant today?”
You shake your head, but it’s a lie, and you know it’s a lie--and he knows it’s a lie. So you nod, weakly. “Mm-hmm.”
“Have I been feeding you healthy meals? Have I been ensuring that you don’t engage in disgusting self-destructive behaviors?”
He has, but that’s not--your mind wants to argue, but you’re so tired and sick and your stomach hurts and the taste of the soap is too much. So you nod, instead.
He nods in response, and you pray that he’ll take the soap out and end this. Instead, he lifts your chin with a single finger, making you keep eye contact as he speaks.
“Do I take care of you?”
“Yes,” you cry out, your words garbled around the wet soap bar. He releases your chin and it’s these words, this final question, that make you break entirely. Your shoulders ache from bruises as you cry, hunching over slightly and watching as some drool-laden soap droplets fall on the floor. “Yes, yes, yes,” you repeat, mechanically, crying around the bitter soap that’s digging into your front teeth.
Satisfied, he takes hold of the bar and waits for you to release it, then tosses it with ease into the trash. You blubber and spit, only succeeding in releasing a trail of soapy drool down your chin. Your tears are hot and stinging as they roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth, you try to say something, but all that comes out is soft cries punctuated by your attempts to spit out the soapy film.  
“Look at you,” he murmurs, bringing a gloved hand up to your cheek and wiping at the tears. “My poor thing. You can’t even speak. You can’t even articulate yourself. How could you ever hope to make it on your own?” His words are soft and cruel and you merely cry harder, humiliated and helpless.
Your throat is sore. Your stomach hurts. You want your warm nightgown on. You want to be in bed. You wish your stomach didn’t hurt so much from eating junk. You wish you weren’t covered in cuts and bruises. You wish you’d just enjoyed the garden and went back inside. You wish you’d never done this at all. You’re so stupid. You’re so stupid.
And you finally say so, all of it, blubbering, bits of soapy drool dribbling out of your mouth as you cry and admit your faults out loud.
After your wrought-out apology dissolves into meaningless whimpers, Overhaul finally grabs the glass of water he set on the edge of the sink, and you gratefully swish the lukewarm liquid with earnest. You lean over the sink and spit, body trembling, then fill the cup again and repeat the gesture again and again to get rid of every bit of white soap stuck in your mouth. Even as you spit, you realize that the taste isn’t going to be completely gone anytime soon--it’s stuck in your mouth like a bad memory.
You jerk when his hands are suddenly on your back, rubber gloves sliding up and down the thin medical gown covering your cold, helpless body. But he merely keeps rubbing, gentle and soothing, while you swish and spit, and cry and cry.
His hands leave your back only to grab a washcloth from the built-in shelves across from the toilet. You watch as he wets the cloth and you stand silently, allowing him to wipe up the drool and soap from your chin, your neck, even a bit on your chest where it dribble-dropped downward.
When you’re all cleaned up, he fills up a cup with mouth wash and silently hands it to you. You gratefully swish it for as long as possible before spitting it into the sink. The soap taste is still there, but lessened somewhat by the overpowering mint of the mouthwash. He gestures to your toothbrush and you pick it up, and begin mechanically brushing your teeth, stopping when the 2-minute timer flashes on the bottom. You instinctively grab your floss without having to be told and make quick work of that, too.
He opens the door to the bathroom, but gestures for you to wait. You do, standing numbly, wishing that he let you have a mirror so you could see your own state. But he doesn’t, and you can’t, and so you wait until he returns with a bundle in his arms.
It’s your pajamas. A soft, pink nightgown--he didn’t pick the soft blue one, tonight, and you’re grateful to avoid any reminders of the medical gown you have on--with matching socks and underwear. You nod and accept the bundle meekly. He turns around and you make quick work of the medical gown, tossing it in the trash yourself before you get dressed for bed.
“M’done,” you mumble, though you quickly realize speaking makes the lingering soap taste stronger. You follow him silently out of the bathroom and into your bedroom, which is just as you left it that morning. The only thing different is you. Subdued, humiliated, helpless.
Overhaul pulls the cover on your bed and you sit down, numb and chastened. You pull your legs up and tuck them under the soft comforter. You’re forcing yourself into the routine you’ve been following for the past few weeks, but the secret thrill you once had of obeying with ulterior movies is no longer there. It’s been replaced by a heavy stillness, the knowledge that you failed in more ways than one. The occasional roll of your stomach reminds you that the night may not be over, bedtime routine be damned.
But you ignore it for now, and you lean your head back on your pillow as he pulls the comforter towards your shoulders, tucking you in. Rather than leave immediately, he sits next to you on the bed, looking down at you with an obsessive, possessive expression in his eyes.
You force down an instinctive flinch when he suddenly begins to stroke the top of your forehead, moving up to pet your hair softly. His gloves are gone. While not completely new, it’s rare--rare enough that the feeling of his bare fingers is still an unusual sensation.
You close your eyes. It usually makes him leave faster. Your heart begins to pound as you hear him stand, as you sense him leaning in, as you feel the ghost of his breath against your face.
“Sweet dreams. We’ll start fresh in the morning.”
What a silly thing to say, you think. Your dreams are never sweet anymore.
928 notes · View notes
takahero · 3 years ago
Text
this is gonna sound extremely messy but here’s one of (many) basta fic concept ideas in which I relentlessly attempt to justify why I like him so much. HERE WE GO
so i love tangled, i love accidental-royalty tropes, i love a good enemies to friends to lovers. FYI, i’m a reader insert writer, so bear w the “you’s” HAHAHAH (also should clarify it has to be a fem!reader for the purpose of the plot). also set around the start of inkspell? and I’ve been brainstorming how to make this MAKE SENSE but look, I’ll try my best:
the general plot is this: adderhead wants another wife (note: against canon but for the purposes of the fic, THAT ISNT A CHILD). rumour has it there’s a beautiful maiden from a faraway land, yadda yadda, even more interesting if it’s another fanciful product of fenoglio’s writings. another bluejay dare I say. (ok but if you actually DID have reverse-aging powers like rapunzel, it would be 100% of interest to the adderhead holy frick. idk im still sitting on that one i just hate writing superpowers LMAO)
basta’s sent to “invite” you to the castle of night — aka, kidnap, bc obviously nobody would ever want to go of their own volition. we love a good meet-cute LMAO
alternatively, adderhead sends a bevy of his best men to escort you to the castle, which seems more likely … so he can assert his power
sidenote (there’s going to be lots of these): don’t forget I’m sort of going for the “lost princess” trope as this is…essentially a tangled au. sorta. or anastasia? i am leaning towards a whole amnesia thing where maybe reader just doesn’t know who she is and her dreams plague her SIGH I’ll figure it out someday LMFOAISODUD
two possibilities of her origins: 1. read into inkworld by mo, unwittingly. remember how mo’s postman disappeared or something?? and there was a glass man who got read in instead?? how many other people have been accidentally read into inkworld without mo’s knowledge. what if reader was one of those people. also likely she would be tentatively labelled a “witch” bc of applying modern world techniques to inkworld life
or 2. was she read in after fenoglio’s time? it almost feels too recent that way but I just love the concept of fenoglio writing songs and stories about ur typical fair maiden, then someone actually getting plunged into inkworld to play that role, like mo did. it’s a great way to tie in the theme of FATE…WAIT WAITWAIT this could have even more potential if reader is someone basta KNOWS from his time in our world …… like they had a super fleeting moment or some kind of acquaintanceship :O e.g. she was a barista or something and he was the customer that ordered peppermint tea exclusively every time. (but since fenoglio’s only been there for like a year, i don’t think reader would be well-adjusted to inkworld in that case. i highly doubt it. and it would also mess up the amnesia thing coz lmao how much could you forget in a year. anyway it’s an interesting plot. FOR ANOTHER FIC)
ok back to the story. they ambush, they seize everything they can. cue much resistance, much struggle, but she’s no match for the cadre of soldiers. and so the long trek back begins…
…riddled with challenges, of course. rain makes the journey difficult, horses slip in the mud, there’s little shelter. the men panic bc if they bring the girl in SICK, adderhead’s gonna lose his mind. so they halt the odyssey to wait out the storm overnight, but it worsens and ends up wreaking havoc. howling wind blows trees down, heavy rain stings skin, enormous hailstones shatter the earth…there’s thunder and lightning and it’s nothing short of a bad omen (basta thinks), and he wants out, he’s been having a bad feeling abt this whole thing from the start. (he thinks he saw 2 black cats in one day and firefox broke a mirror in ur house and yeah it was bad)
the soldiers start to flee left right and centre, fearing their lives. now it’s every man for themselves. basta’s hauling ass out of there when a branch knocks the wind out of him. he falls, possibly breaking a bone (arm rib or leg not too sure yet I CANNOT WRITE MEDICAL) and ultimately finds himself trapped beneath its weight. firefox notices, on his pursuit for safety. basta pleads for help. firefox walks over and squats down beside him, cuts the fingerbone charm off around his neck, and pockets it. smiles, insincerely, and says: “say hi to the white women for me.” leaves basta for dead
basta wakes up to a calm morning. he can hear the sound of water dripping off leaves, plunging into puddles. it’s quiet. birds are singing. and he’s not alone. he opens his eyes and ur looking straight at him, with mild surprise. god, he thinks, I survived the night and now I’m gonna get murdered. the pain sets in then, blinding and burning and terrible, and he begs you to end his misery. stab him right through the heart. don’t miss. don’t give the white women the satisfaction.
instead, you’re like: “can you move your toes?”
basta’s still a little b*tch. he thinks ur a witch, and ur probably gonna cut his digits off, one by one, to use in some cursed elixir. so he very angrily flails around and demands a swift execution. good signs of vitality
you leave, and he suddenly gets very scared, but you come back with a sword and proceed to hack away at the branch. at this point he’s starting to realise what’s going on and shuts up — apart from the occasional expletive when the blade swings a little too close to his head LMAO. he wriggles out, battered and bruised, but not dead. he’s a cat, after all. nine lives baby
look I’m gonna spare u of the details bc quite frankly I still don’t know HAHAHAH. ultimately, he’s in no state to run away, and he definitely can’t care for his own injuries. this all depends on what injury I end up assigning him with (did I mention that I hate writing medical. apparently broken legs can take up to 6 months to heal? 2-3 for a broken arm). now comes the proposition. a quid pro quo. you’ll help him recover, if he helps you find the elusive oracle who will tell u who u are (bc ofc basta knows all these things. of course he does)
otherwise he’s stuck in the woods by himself — unable to walk, unable to feed himself, left to the wolves. he’d rather not be alone, if he can help it. you make him swear. there is still mutual enmity — after all, he’s one of the men who was about to sell your soul to the adderhead against ur will. it’s going to take a lot to ever get over that. but it’s a start to getting somewhere, at least.
this is basically where the tangled story takes off. i just. look at all the little stories you could fit into this bad boy *slaps bonnet* INJURY CARE (think: if it’s an arm injury he’ll inevitably have to show his burn scars), the growing resentment that comes when nobody comes and searches for him (altho that’s really thanks to firefox)
(also love the idea of reader being better with a knife than basta like PLEASE he would be so miffed but also markedly more interested …)
then once he makes progress in his recovery, and there’s some kind of mutual respect established between them, we can introduce the PINING…*chef’s kiss*
but I’ll fill in the romance later bc that’s my strong point LMAO. i like to think that on their journey to find the oracle they encounter a vast number of obstacles…ruffians…thugs….and through those experiences they forge a bond of trust and friendship which blossoms into something else. also I’m so into basta falling first. and yes I want to include that marketplace scene where he follows reader around like a lost puppy and is just utterly enamoured AH
the turning point is when they do end up finding the oracle who guides reader in the right direction. it’s the point where they agreed to part ways except basta really doesn’t want to go anywhere. he wants to stay. it’s not exactly like the adderhead is waiting for his return anyway. and he’s never liked being in anyone’s company more than yours *sob*
now here’s where it gets messy. anyway. back to lost princess arc — I have yet to establish some sort of premise for this, but i just keep going back to this idea of an old and lonely king in a big castle (sounds familiar LMAO), no heir just grief for his critically-ill wife. actually I guess this is where the superpowers thing might come in handy. frijmcmc I hate writing superpowers. anyway a deal is struck — if you heal the wife, you can have the kingdom. fair and square. old guy just loves his wife. it’ll be seamless really. you, with no known origins/family, can claim power of the throne through legal adoption. unconventional, but hey it’s all part of fate’s design. bonus points if fenoglio’s songs tie the fair maiden to royalty but “not through blood or betrothal” how’s that ;)
meanwhile, while all this is happening and while basta is probably in over his head for you, a message from the adderhead comes to him. the walls have ears, after all. basta freaks the hell out, thinks the worst, but is baffled by the positive contents of the message. adderhead’s singing his praises for basta’s cunning. sure, he’s a little peeved that basta stole his wife-to-be, but in doing so, he’s unlocked the opportunity of a lifetime. what ??
basta reads on (IKDNDKSHD HE CANT READ I FORGOT HASHSHAHAHAUAHAHA) and dread fills his gut. the adderhead wants him to marry reader, assume royal status, then kill the family, kill the guards. leave not one soul behind — excluding reader (for…obvious reasons). then relinquish the kingdom to the adderhead. it’s a perfect plan to assert extra land, assets and people to war against the laughing prince/cosimo. it’s an order, but adderhead promises to make basta his right-hand man if he follows through. then adderhead’s like “ok see u soon xoxo”
UGH THE TENSION. to make matters worse, basta tries to figure this out by himself until reader gets wind of it and it almost breaks her heart when she realises basta hid it from her. like was that his plan all along? to string her along and make her fall in love w him just to be working for the adderhead’s interests all along? *drapes self over chaise longue* THE DRAMA
ur damn right im leaving it here!!! what kind of writer would I be to give away the ending! jokes I actually don’t know the ending. but my head feels monumentally lighter after dumping the contents out like this. hope you found this entertaining LMAO. and if you made it to the end here’s some gifs of gratitude:
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terezis · 5 years ago
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Taakitz twilight au but the ipre are the vampires
kravitz moves to forks washington with his mother after she accepts a job offer at the local hospital. she is their new coroner 
kravitz loves his mama dearly but man, between her chosen profession and the fact that kravitz is an awkward goth who grew up befriending ravens and listening to mcr, he was basically born to get courted by a vampo!!! death omens abound!!!
also i just googled what coroners actually do (they investigate violent, sudden, or suspicious deaths) and i think it would throw be REALLY SPICY if later kravitz was constantly having a panic attack because every single one of the “mysterious deaths” his mother is looking into are ALL CAUSED BY VAMPOS. she’s not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but also??? she is VERY SUSPICIOUS about all these puncture wounds!!! 
raven says, kravitz would you humor your darling mother and start carrying around this canteen of holy water please???
kravitz, actively sweating, thinking about his real life vampire boyfriend chilling upstairs in his bedroom and also the very conspicuous hickies on his neck, says, bbbbut there’s…… nnnnnnnno such, thing? ha ha mmmmmmyyyes mother of course,
I DON’T WANT TO DO A WHOLE OUTLINE FOR A TWILIGHT AU ACTUALLY BUT I DO WANT TO TOUCH ON THE GOOD BITS:
i think it would be really funny if taako and lup were like six hundred years old and grew up as impoverished peasants during the middle ages, and yet they still know more about modern pop culture than actual mortal teen kravitz
kravitz says, taako have you seen this……. “mee-mee?” and shows his boyfriend a picture of an lolcat and taako straight-up double dies
also b/c they perished well before the advent of fast food, or like, refrigeration, the twins are constantly buying and cooking meals for kravitz and demanding to know how it tastes. they are living vicariously through him. tell them about big macs, kravitz!!! describe the UMAMI
i said it before but it bears repeating, merle is the hot doctor that everyone in town is in love with. merle is taako’s hot dad. merle introduces himself to kravitz as taako’s hot dad. taako hates this
other bits that are not about taakitz
taako has a complex because a few decades ago he lost control of himself, murdered like forty people because he was so dang bloodthirsty, and he and his family had to flee the town of glamour springs
(little does he know that it was a set-up: local teenage douchebag sazed had grown suspicious of taako and wanted to “out” his vampirism so that he could then use the story to make it big as the guy who “discovered” vampos for realsies.
he waited until taako’s eyes were dark with hunger, nicked himself with a knife in home ec, drew blood, and - well, the rest is history. 
fortunately, so is sazed!!!
sazed thought he had done his research. alas. he did not. thirty cloves of garlic got nothin’ on twilight’s nigh-indestructible brand of vampirism
no jacob-equivalent in MY twilight au but julia is a werewolf, so we can have a little enemies to lovers romance, as a treat
WAIT ONE MORE
instead of a terrible pregnancy arc:
after kravitz gets turned, he has to lie low for a while his bloodlust cools. during this time angus mcdonald (boy detective) decides to start investigating kravitz’s  “disappearance” - and much to taako’s dismay, he is angus’s main suspect, oh my
taako would like this small child to stop stalking him please
but also he misses cooking for kravitz so whenever angus decides to stake out his house, taako makes him dinner
eventually when angus inevitably discovers the vampo secret, taako panics and kidnaps (adopts???) him, by which i mean, he holds angus hostage in the house and demands that he try these cupcakes
when the hunger comes to make a routine checkup on kravitz (because he’s a newborn), they discover angus’s existence, decide he knows too much, and everyone has to band together to DEFEND THEIR BOY!!!
the hunger is a really on the nose name for a group of bloodthirsty vampires whose sole concern is consumption and the destruction of the mortals’ way of life… and yet
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makaronik · 3 years ago
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fic masterpost
Not star wars:
the cool kids voted to get rid of me (series): the old guard. how Quynh got out from under the sea, found booker, how they saved each other and how the rest of the team dealt with it. rated teen. might post a few out of context snippets I have for it, but the story itself is complete.
common ground: atla, an exploration of waterbending, firebending, bloodbending and Zuko and Katara's relationship post southern raiders. could be read as pre-relationship or platonic. rated gen. don't have enough material or motivation for a sequel but i might try to squeeze a few headcanon posts out of what i have
The Curious Case of Dr. James Barry, or the Strange and Momentous Events that Transpired on a Quiet Evening by the Fire.: book canon Sherlock Holmes, johnlock, trans sherlock coming out. rated teen. I've had what was going to be a part two mostly written for years now, but it's just a few hundred words of sherlock talking about his past growing up trans in victorian britain. if anyone's interested feel free to bother me about it and i might try to edit something coherent out of it.
like watching tea steep: good omens, Crowley and Aziraphale figuring out the body swap the night after the apocalypse. teen and up. also has a cute little bus ride drabble in the series, and potentially pending a sequel if i get through the cringe I feel trying to reread all i have written for it since it's some of my earliest writing
in the sunlit garden: revolutionary girl utena. post canon, utena realising he's a trans man. rated teen.
star wars:
How to build a friend from scratch: when trying to run away from the academy after blowing up the weapon she built, Sabine gets intercepted by Vader who offers her a job as a mechanic. Stockholm syndrome to found family pipeline. rated teen. I adore this fic, it's my absolute baby, it's fully planned out and the one most likely to get updated next.
Emotion, yet Peace (series): Yoda refuses Obi-Wan's request to train Anakin, so he leaves the order and trains him on Tatooine. they kidnap Ahsoka at some point it's great. rated gen. I have the next few chapters planned and am excited for them, but no idea where the story will go after that.
blue skies ahead: Anakin dyes his hair blue and it saves the world. rated gen. inexplicably my most popular fic. last chapter is half written and waiting for me to get my shit together.
better late than never: Ahsoka wins the duel on Malachor and kidnaps Vader. she trains Luke and Leia, Obi-Wan is there too and so is the entire ghost crew, a lot of emotional discussions and scrambling to build something new because the old cannot be fixed. rated gen. my longest fic, and heading nowhere fast. I have some ideas for the next few chapters but only a vague image of the ending.
That's how stories work: Padme being unhinged and power hungry will save the world. rated teen. last chapter is a mess of disconected paragraphs in my docs for now, but there's a lot to work with there.
I'm you, but taller (for now, at least): Anakin is trans, and so is Obi-Wan. neither of them shares that, and familial drama ensues from the cultural differences between Tatooine and Coruscant, with the shadow of past childhood trauma, and the dark future this type of miscommunication will bring looming over them. rated gen, oneshot
heat and fuel: Ahsoka falls to the dark side to protect Ezra and Kanan from Maul on Malachor. rated teen, very short oneshot
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anironsidh · 4 years ago
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AnironSidh 2020 fic and moodboard masterpost
I didn’t write very much this year between the general mess of 2020 and senior year, but here’s what I did manage to write this year (sorted by fandom). If there’s no chapter count for a fic, it’s a oneshot
Queen/BoRhap
Just Keep Losing My Beat || jimercury Hogwarts au. Freddie Mercury/Jim Hutton (jimercury), Brian May/Roger Taylor (maylor). Hogwarts au, found family, maylor, jimercury, i will post more soon. Chapters: 7/?
Summary: Hogwarts is not ready for Freddie Mercury. Not even close.In which Brian May is trying to be successful, Roger Taylor is just confused, John Deacon doesn't want the spotlight, and Freddie Mercury just wants to find somebody to love and make his place in the world.
(Love Of My Life) Don't Leave Me || hardzello (for borhap summer cast event) for the @queenandborhapevents and written for @johndeaconshands. Hardzello, fluff, happy ending, love confessions, first kiss
Summary: Joe's worried about what kind of future he and Ben may have once the movie is no longer keeping them in the same place, and he may find something more waiting for him to ask. - Written for johndeaconshands on tumblr for the BoRhap Summer Event 2020
Love Was Such An Easy Game To Play || tyob 2020 gift fic for xofunghoul / @heybuddy-drabbles. This fic was for the @queenandborhapevents two years of borhap event. hardzello, flashbacks, fluff, picnic, proposal.
Summary: A look back at how Ben and Joe figured things out, got together, made a home with each other, and in which Joe has just one question in mind. - A gift fic for xofunghoul and the two years of borhap exchange on tumblr (modded by @maz-zello and myself). Prompt was for hardzello, fluff, domestic moments. I think I did pretty well, let me know what y'all think in the comments!
Phandom/Dan and Phil
For The Dreams of Youth || phandom reverse bang 2020 parent!phan au for the @phandomreversebang 2020. art by @akikaji and beta @rainbowchristy. Dan/Phil, fluff, parent!phan Chapters 2/3
Summary: Dan isn't quite sure about a kid of his own. It hadn't felt like a possibility, not until recently. He may find that he's more ready than he expected. Dan and Phil's journey towards parenthood told through a series of videos to one day hand over to their child.
I Wonder When We're Gonna Make It || phandom reverse bang 2020 (1980s au), for the phandomreversebang 2020. Dan/Phil, queen references, 1980s au, period typical homophobia, happy ending, angst with fluff. Chapters 1/2. art by @luisaloveshoney and betaed by @i-might-leave-soon / @eilidh 
Summary: When a new neighbor moves into the town that Daniel Howell has lived in his entire life and finds his safe spot in the town's vineyard, he will challenge Dan's view of himself and his town. Soon enough, they find themselves in an attraction nothing like Dan's ever known and one that those around them cannot understand. This may be Dan's only chance to escape and truly be himself. - A fic for a phandom reverse bang 2020 prompt in which Dan and Phil live near a vineyard, sneak grapes, drink stolen wine, and fall in love despite the times (1980s). Also, in which I project my love for queen onto Dan, because Muse doesn't exist yet and because I can.
I Ain't Gonna Face No Defeat a good omens au for the @phandomreversebang 2019, masterpost and art by @hiwatari-art here. Dan/Phil, good omens au, post bookshop scene, Crowley!Dan x Aziraphale!Phil. betaed by phanandpenguins/ @ringsandbutterflies
Summary: Daniel Howell has been stationed on earth for six thousand years, his only constant companion Phil Lester, an angel of Heaven. When his angel is nearly taken away from him he begins to realize just how important Phil is to him. -the bar scene in ep6 of good omens where Aziraphale is discorperated and Crowley is in the bar mourning him- Please be sure to check the art by hiwatari! Thanks to phanandpenguins for their beta work!
Good Omens
Songs Full Of Sad Things || Ineffable Husbands Raphael!Crowley for the good omens big bang. Crowley was Raphael, eventual happy ending, angst and fluff, wip. Chapters 8/15
Summary: -Crowley and Aziraphale are quite happy in their new Tadfield cottage five years after Armageddon, or rather, the armageddon-that-wasn't. They've settled into a routine with each other and the Them. Everything seems fine. Anathema and Newton are even getting married soon. -And then everything Crowley has built up for the last 6,000 years comes tumbling down with a visit from Gabriel and the revelation of his past, of how high he Fell. He hadn't wanted to remember his past as an archangel. Not now. His past is told bit by bit while those brought together by the almost-end of the world must pick up the pieces. - aka Crowley was the archangel Raphael, Gabriel's a dick, and Aziraphale just wants to help. Also, Warlock WILL fight anyone who hurts his Nanny, even God.
As You Wish || Good Omens/Princess Bride au, inspired by @anotherwellkeptsecret. Princess bride au, another one I promise i will get back to, eventual happy ending. Chapters 2/?
Summary: Warlock is sick and Nanny Ashtoreth reads him a story of romance and swordfights, perhaps inspired by a certain angel she knows. In which Aziraphale is Buttercup and in love with the handsome Crowley, a farm boy. When he is reported dead, killed by the Dread Pirate Nutter, Aziraphale falls into despair and eventually agrees to marry the devious Prince Gabriel. He is kidnapped by a con artist, Beelzebub, and their two henchmen in order to start a war. Crowley, who survived his rumored attack, rescues him from the trio. They must now free Aziraphale from Gabriel's clutches if they wish to have a new life with each other. Inspired by anotherwellkeptsecret on tumblr (penumbra on ao3)
Before I Lose You || gomens holiday swap gift for @gregayy and the Good Omens Holiday Exchange. post-canon, fluff with a sprinkling of angst but there’s barely any tbh, ineffable husbands, (technically for the gomens 2019 holiday swap, but it was posted on the third of january so I’m including it)
Summary: Armageddon has been averted, and yet their troubles are far from over. Heaven and Hell want their revenge for a Plan foiled. Crowley knows this far too well, knows he has far too little time for what he's wanted for so many centuries... Aziraphale. Believing they may not live to see another sunset, they take a step usually taken by humans. They've only got this one chance, don't they?aka they get married, believing they may not have another chance to, as requested by gregayy/scmnz
Can't You See || good omens ficlet for @wheeloffortune-design. Ineffable husbands, ficlet, happy ending, first kiss
Summary: Crowley being brave - wheeloffortune-design on tumblr. Based on this art, I think I wrote this instead of studying for a midterm lmao
Hobbit/LOTR
By His Side || Happy Hobbit Holiday 2020 Bagginshield fic for KeyWolf25888 for the @haveahappyhobbitholiday 2020 exchange. Gen, M/M, Bilbo/Thorin, happy ending, fluff, bilbo stays in erebor fic
Summary: Bilbo Baggins is just staying in Erebor for now, just until he knows every member of the Company will be alright after the Battles, but his feelings for a certain dwarven king may change his plans just slightly.Or, a Bilbo Stays In Erebor fic as requested by KeyWolf25888 for the Have A Happy Hobbit Holiday 2020 exchange! I haven't done much Hobbit fic in a while, but it was nice to get back to these characters. 
Reylo
you're nothing, but not to me || reylo fix-it. Rey/Ben Solo, poe/finn, tros fix it fic bc i was mad after watching that movie, I promise I’ll get back to it soon I just need to work out the plot (and it could also use a beta, if anyone’s interested) Chapters 3/?
Summary: The aftermath of the victory. They may have won, but what comes next? What happens when the battle is won, when the fight is over, but a former enemy is brought into their midst? What happens when Rey brings a near-death Ben Solo back with her? The remaining Resistance is not willing to forgive him easily for what he has done as Kylo Ren. It will not be easy, but it must be done.
Moodboards
Phandom/Dan and Phil
Phandom Reverse Bang 2020 Pride Au Moodboard, fics by @judearaya and @counting2fifteen Summary: Dan goes to pride for the first time, traveling to London on his own. He hasn't come out to his family yet, just a random person online called amazingphil. At pride, he sees a man (Phil) on a float and decides he has to talk to him. Eventually (maybe after a few times hanging out/dates) he finds out that Phil is amazingphil. The moodboard for my prb 2020 pride au, with fics by counting2fifteen and judearaya!
Queen
Royal Maylor au honeymoon in Japan
Queen Iliad au with hardzello, maylor, and deacury
Brian’s Birthday moodboard
Maylor Hamilton au
Jimercury Sad moodboard (hurts like hell)
Reylo
Titanic au
Moodboard for You’re Nothing, but not to me
Reylo good omens au
Moodboard for the Heartbreak Prince, fic by the wonderful @kylorenvevo (Thea)
Reylo Frankenstein au, idea partially by @indefinitelyindia
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 11 months ago
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hey maggots PLEASE CALM DOWN ONE MOMENT PRESS CONFERENCE.
Okay. Have we stopped screaming? Okay, nice. *taps mic* Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your--I mean, hi, Good Omens fandom and maggots. I was going to make a new intro post eventually, but after you all flattened my notes with eldritch screeching I think a press conference is more fitting. Especially considering the phrasing of these beauties:
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Maggots I love you but look me in the eyes and tell me you're not journalists reporting straight to the Times, with full honesty. You cannot. The how do you feel about this is only missing several microphones with news outlet names all in my face and that's wonderful. Entirely valid. Press conference time it is.
First, for those of you who do not need a Q and A, a quick note: Um hello maggots, yes I am still grieving, cheers to the people who queued sad Good Omens posts for the exact time I finished watching. That is dedication, truly, to torturing your mascot. A most sincere fuck you to all of those kind folks.
Next, Neil, thank you for showcasing my madness. I barely remember making that updated post. It was 2 am and I tried to convince myself it was a bad idea. So of course I did it anyway and now I am staring in horror at how unhinged I have revealed myself to be. You picked the most perfectly awful time to delve into the fray. I raise my glass to you.
Alright. For everyone else who is utterly confused and/or has just entered this madness, below is the press conference you have instigated, my loves.
You: ASMI WAKE UP NEIL REBLOGGED YOU. Me: I'M AWAKE I PROMISE THANK YOU ALL THE TWENTY ODD PEOPLE WHO SHOUTED FOR ME TO WAKE UP, YES I WAS NAPPING. BUT I AM AWAKE. IT IS DIFFICULT NOT TO BE. You: HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING LESS THAN A MONTH IN THE FANDOM AND-- Me: I was kidnapped, so with the blindfold and all the ropes, I'll be honest, I lost track of time. It could have been less than a month. *stares into distance* It could have been eighty years since Jan 4th 2024. You: YOU'RE AN ADOPTIVE MAGGOT. Me: Now hang on one second y'all you're stealing my term. I coined maggots to describe all the people, in the Good Omens fandom or otherwise, who kidnapped me or followed me or watched me descend into madness. Why? Because I was made the Mascot of the fandom, and Maggot sounded like Mascot. Kind of. I didn't know at that time that there was a bloody maggot scene in Good Omens. I also didn't know that apparently in the Bible, Bildad the Shuite calls mortals 'maggots'. But either way. I'm the adopted mascot. And the adopted child of divorce. You: If people who follow you or watch your descent are maggots, does that make Neil a maggot? Me: Uh okay I've got this question several times. @neil-gaiman, Neil I'm sorry, I'm going to pass this question to you. You are free to reply or not as you choose. *hands one of the mics over* You: ARE YOU OKAY, ASMI? Me: THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN. *clutches Crowley even closer* NO I AM BLOODY NOT. I'M ON DAY FOUR OF GRIEVING AFTER THE SECOND SEASON. ANY MENTION OF POTTED PLANTS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. THE GOOD OMENS BOOK IS ARRIVING TODAY IN THE MAIL, THANKS JEFF BEZOS FOR AMAZON. OH WAIT AMAZON IS THE STREAMER FOR GOOD OMENS. THANKS BEZOS AGAIN. IF I HEAR THE WORDS RITZ, EDINBURGH, PLANT, RED, BLACK, DEMON, HELL, STARS, CONSTELLATIONS, ESPRESSO, I WILL START TO UGLY CRY. *SHOVES MICS ASIDE, RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD TO GO SOB IN A CORNER ABOUT CROWLEY IN EDINBURGH NEXT TO ELSPETH AND WEE MORAG UNTIL THE GOOD OMENS BOOK ARRIVES AND I CRY OVER MY BABY ANTICHRIST AS WELL*
Cheers everyone conference over because your poor Good Omens Mascot is currently incapacitated with grief goodbye I'm sure you understand--
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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago
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Shout out to that time in the preboot universe, when Lilith showed up to Donna’s wedding to the red-headed man she’d once prophesied Donna would marry and who would die horribly and thus is the reason Donna broke up with Roy originally, thinking the prophecy was about him, (its a long story, just go with it).....
.....and so then here’s Lilith just popping up at the Wedding of Doom she forewarned against, after being out of touch for ages, but she’s flying solo with no plus one and thus no sign of her caveman boyfriend Gnaark (its a long story, just go with it) and when all the other Titans were like hey wtf where’s Gnaark she was just like oh something terrible happened there but I don’t want to get into it now, its a wedding, cheers, because Lilith just does that, when she’s done talking she’s done talking lmao.....
....and then this winged angel named Azrael started popping up all the time and the other Titans are like wtf Lilith, is this dude stalking you, and she just casually waves them off and is like oh yeah, he’s been doing that for ages, he wants me to be his ‘mate’ or whatever, its this whole thing. Don’t worry about it though, its no big deal.’ Because again, Lilith’s just like that.
And then when Azrael keeps showing up Lilith starts glowing every time he’s near and turning into a combustion engine about to blow, and her teammates are like Lil, once again we are just here begging you to call this a big deal, this dude seems to be turning you into a human glowstick, but Lilith is just like omg stop being so dramatic, that has nothing to do with him even, I’ve been having those little ‘heat attacks’ for like years, and the Titans are like WTF LIL, WHY DID YOU NOT MENTION THIS BEFORE, and she’s just like ‘I forgot to okay, god, get off my ass already’ and she stormed off and dramatically quit the team with a huff and a “AND IM NEVER COMING BACK except for when I totally will cuz I already foresee this apocalypse we’re gonna have to prevent in like two years, so nobody take my room okay, thanks bye, and NO DICK, I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE UPCOMING APOCALYPSE JEEZ I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW, I’LL GET TO IT WHEN I GET TO IT'’.....because I mean....Lilith. *shrugs*
And then she came back and joined the team during the Terror of Trigon storyline and she was all dramatic and prophesizing left and right except lol it wasn’t really Lil as she was possessed by a bajillion Azarath spirits who were like, hey we’re gonna hijack you to cleanse Raven of evil, sorry not sorry, but don’t worry, we’ll tidy up after ourselves before we leave’....
And then she got depossessed and Azrael starting popping up again and she starting doing her human glowstick thing again except this time with actual fire actually burning shit all around her, and Lilith’s like “okay, fine, I’m willing to concede now that this MIGHT be an issue,” and everyone’s like GEE YOU THINK???
And her ‘heat attacks’ were now big and noticeable enough that they eventually got the attention of Lilith’s birth mother, cuz Lilith had been adopted and found that out and started searching for her birth parents and answers about her powers and where she came from when she was like, thirteen (its a long story, just go with it), and so Lilith’s flame on moments finally caught her birth mother’s attention and she showed up and was like surprise, oh hey and also I’m the Greek Titan of the sun, who escaped from Tartarus awhile back and came up with this whole plan to get back at Zeus and the rest of those turds by making a secret weapon baby - that’s you hon, so proud of you - and yeah your dad was just this rich dude who had a company I wanted to take over, I just kinda incinerated him once I had you and didn’t need him anymore, sorry but its not a big loss he was kinda dull, you wouldn’t have liked him anyway, but also, then this random nurse kidnapped you and derailed my master plan of using a toddler Titan to topple the Olympians, but now I’ve found you and we can get right back to that, and that’s what you missed on Glee!’
Cue the rest of the Titans being like......ummm, we have some questions and also some concerns, but Lilith’s just like huh, so what you’re saying is I’m a divine celestial being? Huh, yeah that tracks. Okay, I believe you! But also I don’t like your plan and I think you kinda suck so I’m gonna like....not do that and instead help the gods defeat you again sorry not sorry but I mean yeah, I’m just not feeling it here, I don’t think this mother/daughter thing is gonna work out on account of the you sucking part.
So then that happened and then Zeus was like, hey we’re down a demigod, how would you like to be a goddess? And Lilith’s like yeah, that sounds good, I’m not busy right now. And the rest of the Titans are like umm, Lilith? The team? We do occasionally save the world and protect people and stuff? And she’s just like oh relax, you’ll be fine without me and I’ll be back in time to help out with that alien invasion in a couple years....and Dick’s like wait what, but Lilith’s already gone and getting her demigoddess on. Because, y’know. Its Lilith. She has her priorities figured out.
And then post-Crisis she eventually rejoins the team as the masked and mysterious figure Omen, who wouldn’t reveal her secret identity, because like, she’s Lilith, and she decided hey I’m just not gonna let the team know that its me and just like, idk see what happens. No particular reason.
Except then she’s abducted by this villain named Haze and she has to use her powers to summon the original Titans to free her, at which point her identity is revealed and she’s like yeah, surprise, it was me the whole time, and the Fab Five are all like WHAT THE HELL LILITH, and she’s like WHAT, I WAS BORED, LET ME HAVE HOBBIES.....and also at this time she and the Titans found out oh btw, turns out that whole backstory about you being the daughter of that Titan was a lie, we’re not really sure how that works but just FYI, you’re actually just the illegitimate daughter of this super rich tycoon, and also FYI, Haze is actually your half brother who hates you because of something to do with the dad you didn’t even know existed, soooooo....that’s a thing....
And then she goes back to the Titans for awhile, still as Omen but with everyone now knowing its her under the cloak and mask, the jig is up, Lilith’s like ugh, lame, now what am I supposed to do for fun. But then it also turned out that for some reason that was never actually made clear, now she also had telekinetic and illusion casting powers and she was like ooooh now these I can have fun with. Coincidentally, like, half the team decided now would be a good time to take a sabbatical and focus on their own cities.
And THEN she was kidnapped by Vandal Savage, who wanted to make her use her powers to divine the perfect lineup of bad guys to take down the Titans once and for all, and Lilith’s like ‘well shit, you got me, guess I gotta do what you want,’ except of course she purposely chooses villains she foresees the Titans beating, which they do of course, and then they beat Savage, and Lilith is just like, dude, I know I’m the only precog here, but how did you not see this coming, like seriously, what on earth made you think there was gonna be any other way this was gonna go? OMG you’re so stupid, what happened to all the smart villains, ugh even being kidnapped is boring now, lame.
And then she died, and like, never actually came back except as a spirit in one story and a Black Lantern in that Blackest Night event, and that sucked. But oh well.
Anyway, the point is I miss THAT Lilith, the unpredictable, whimsical, always dragging chaos in her wake and not giving a shit because look its not her fault Destiny is like totally obsessed with her....
She was just a guaranteed source of WTF and she did it all with unnecessary flair and drama and she was one hundred percent a primary reason Dick Grayson was destined to have gray hairs by the time he was thirty, but oh well, that was just the price of being friends and teammates with her, because Lilith was just...*sighs* she was just so Lilith.
That’s really the only way to sum her up. A dozen writers took her in a dozen different directions cuz they couldn’t decide what to do with her so she ended up doing everything and being extremely extra about it which really tied it all together and just made it a universal truth that when it comes to Lilith, don’t just expect the unexpected, like....just accept that with her anything is possible and plausible and the most random shit will end up connected to her and you just gotta roll with it, because that’s just how it goes with her.
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theninjamouse · 4 years ago
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Ocean on Fire Phantom of the Opera AU Master List (To be added to as I see fit)
Strap in, this is gonna get long. Big thanks to @thaylepo for indulging me and sending many brilliant ideas. 
This is a basic rundown and ideas that would happen at some point in the story. Obviously some things could change or be added but I’ve just got to get this down before I go nuts
Shore and Grillby were childhood friends.
Shore is the child of a wealthy business man, taught from childhood that the arts are to be treasured and appreciated
However, while she may learn instruments and dance and music, she is to take over the family business, not run away to star in the opera like she wants
Grillby's father (he has parents in this au) was a famous violinist who often was called by Shore's father to perform for parties. He wound up teaching Shore fundamentals of music
Little Grillby was a shy flame. Always trailed along behind his father, clutching his tailcoats
Shore saw the tiny elemental and decided instantly: I'm going to be his BEST FRIEND
Queue stuttering, hesitant Grillby being dragged around the manor, getting into all sorts of trouble and adventures. He's a lot more hardy than Shore is, so he rather often found himself acting as a sort of guard dog. He was utterly distraught when Shore fell and broke her arm. Shore teased him about crying because she couldn’t stand to see him so upset
They also learn music together from Grillby's father. First time Shore hears Grillby sing, she grabs his face and screams with delight until the poor little guy is fully bright blue with blushing
Then Grillby's father dies. A family friend takes Grillby away to one of the opera houses to work. Grillby and Shore are 13 and 10 at this point and have spent the last 6 years together. Shore makes Grillby promise to keep singing, to keep the spark of his father alive through music. He promises
They both wait until they are out of sight of the other to cry
Grillby cries every night for the first 3 months in the opera house. As a monster, he is bullied by many of the other students. He mourns his father's passing and he misses Shore to a near unbearable level. The only comfort he has is when he sings quietly to himself in those few moments when he is alone doing his chores
Then he hears a voice, a soft and gentle voice that asks him why such a bright flame weeps. He runs away in fear and hides in his bed
But the voice asks him again and again. 'Why does such a bright flame weep?' Slowly, over the course of a year, Grillby tells the voice his story
The voice says he is the Phantom of the opera house. Grillby thinks he sounds rather young to be a Phantom
The Phantom replies that Grillby is rather young to have such a lovely voice. He offers to teach Grillby. The fire monster agrees upon hearing the Phantom's beautiful and haunting voice
After all, he did promise
15 years pass. Shore has taken over her family business and is finally able to offer herself as a patron to an opera house that has shown remarkable growth over the years, becoming well known in the arts circles
Partially thanks to the star of the show, a humanoid robot named Mettaton. Most of the monsters we know work the show behind the scenes, so having a monster in the lead is a new leap in gaining treatment that is more fair for monster kind as performers
But Mettaton is also a diva. The day Shore arrives with new managers, he throws his tantrum and quits after a rather suspicious accident.
Shore only has eyes for the fire elemental standing frozen with the rest of the crew. She suggests letting him take the lead role. Promising that she knows he can sing.
Grillby is so quiet most assumed he couldn't even talk so naturally protests break out and Shore maybe uses her power as a patron to insist. 'He promised me,' is all she says, looking right at him
So he sings and everyone is stunned at the strength and grace of his voice. The managers instantly whisk him away to prepare for the show
After the show, Shore goes to his new dressing room and they fall into each other's arms. They speak of times past, of the loneliness of being apart. But when Shore says that she wants to take him out to celebrate, he hesitates. The Phantom will not be happy if he leaves, he knows this
But he agrees and she leaves to let him change
Enter in The Phantom. Showing himself for the first time, a figure in black wearing a simple white mask over his face. White hands punched through the palms. Grillby is enchanted, dazed and follows The Phantom into the tunnels under the opera house
*Music of the Night noises*
Grillby has a bit of a Crisis because he genuinely cares about Phantom and they became very close friends as much as teacher and student but this is kind of odd?? A little frightening?
Phantom sees this, backpedals real hard but hides it and sends Grillby back upstairs before falling into bed and screaming into his pillow
When Shore finds Grillby vaguely wandering back into the theater, she goes, uh??? What happened?? Were you kidnapped? I kind of stayed up all night looking for you??
Grillby, still a little in shock because what the heck just happened "Kind of?"
Now that won't STAND
Shore starts digging to find out everything she can about this opera ghost, keeping a close eye on Grillby. There is no gaslighting here folks like in versions of the story that to this day drive me crazy
As Shore digs, accidents start happening. Loose floorboards, unlatched equipment, a falling sandbag or two. Shore catches on pretty quickly what’s happening when she catches just a flash of shadow more than once right before or after these little ‘incidents’ 
Finally plants herself down in the middle of the stage and calls for the Phantom to show his face. It takes a while then she sees a shadow just barely move. He’s up in the rafters, crouched like some kind of bat
“What is your freaking deal?” 
“Why are you trying to take what’s mine?” 
“Yours? He belongs to himself you dingbat”
That makes him laugh for reasons Shore doesn’t get
Conversation happens, a lot of dodging questions, shifting blame. Phantom is oddly charming. For being an attempted murdering/kidnapping jerk
“Are you the one who keeps trying to kill me? The sandbag dropped on my head, the broken trapdoor, the spiders in my hat??”
“Oh my God, I’m not responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in this place. It’s an old building, accidents do happen. 
“The sandbag was me though.”
Grillby materializes just to smack him in the head for that
And so it goes, Grillby and Shore trying to reconnect, Grillby trying to maintain a level of friendship (and maybe more?) with Phantom and Phantom attempting various levels of accidents to get Shore to leave the theater
Until one day he finds Shore on the stage. She’s singing to an empty theater. She’s not...good exactly but...rather unpracticed. He’s startled enough that he stops his evil giggling and untwisting of the hidden trapdoor in the stage to listen. 
He comes up silently, creeping on the edges just out of sight. When he speaks, Shore shrieks and nearly falls off the stage anyway. Her blushing does a weird thing to his Soul. Like a sort of flip flopping squeeze. 
“Well, if you’re going to think yourself worthy of my Flame, you’d better have a voice to match. Let me hear you sing again.”  
Many ‘threat’ filled lessons later-
“Hmm. Maybe there’s hope for you after all” 
“Maybe there’s more to you than a creepy stalker personality.” 
Past the Point of No Return scene happens at some point. I don’t make the rules
Also Phantom and Shore have a sword fight that maybe starts out as anger fueled but rather quickly changes to a pent up Feelings kind of deal
Grillby’s concern is quick to fade and he watches the two idiots dance around each other, wondering why exactly they don’t see how much they actually do like each other. 
It’s also at this moment he realizes fully that he loves them both
“Well shoot, I love these two morons and they love each other but won’t admit it. This is going to be very ‘fun’ to sort out”
Eventually, Shore asks for Phantom’s name. 
“My name...died with the person I was long ago.” 
“Maybe it’s time you reclaim it.” 
His name is Wing Dings Gaster and for countless years he was held by the Void. He doesn’t fully remember how he escaped, nor what he looked like before. All he knows is that his face is broken with terrible cracks and skeletal in only the vaguest sense with a body that ebbs and flows with darkness. When he first stumbled back into the light after the darkness of the Void, people screamed and ran from him. Or worse, they chased him, calling him an omen of death. So he retreated down below the theater and resigned himself to always be a watcher and made a mask to cover his face. 
He was alone for years until he heard young Grillby crying in a corner and sat as close as he dared. It took a while for him to gain the courage to speak to the elemental
Given the fluid nature of his body, it’s easy for him to change his voice to sing. It’s the only part of himself that he can see as holding any worth. 
Grillby was his only source of socialization and he’s terrified of losing him, which makes Phantom a tad bit clingy with some pretty severe separation anxiety 
Phantom is a sad, sad boy who needs a lot of hugs and therapy
Shore is kind to him despite it all (and despite the irritation at the ‘death threats’) 
Phantom finally admits that she was never in any actual danger because he might be a messed up guy but he’s not a murderer. He might have even nudged her out of the way with blue magic a few times to make sure she wasn’t hurt.
Eventually Phantom realizes he no longer wants her to leave. He wants to stand with her and Grillby. He wants to be a better monster but he doesn’t know how to do that so kind of retreats into his lair 
Grillby and Shore have to track him down. And queue the heart to heart, the great Crying Session, the Unmasking or whatever you wanna call it
And they all live an OT3 happy ending, the end
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supposed2bfunny · 3 years ago
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I posted 1,997 times in 2021
37 posts created (2%)
1960 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 53.0 posts.
I added 859 tags in 2021
#murdoc niccals - 123 posts
#jjba - 122 posts
#vento aureo - 115 posts
#2d - 107 posts
#good omens - 100 posts
#gorillaz - 99 posts
#sanders sides - 60 posts
#ineffable husbands - 47 posts
#cats - 46 posts
#noodle - 40 posts
Longest Tag: 107 characters
#i nanny one; i assure you anything they come up with will be funnier than anything we could ascribe to them
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
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Hey all, @mister-softy is selling all sorts of cool hand-painted pins! Mine came in today and they are super cool; you should go buy some!
Here’s more examples!
20 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 21:32:19 GMT
#4
Last fic of 2020, come get some Murdoc processing his trauma after Song Machine!
20 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 01:32:59 GMT
#3
How about both Crowley AND Aziraphale for the ask game? I don't know if you can ask two characters at once, but it just feels wrong to separate them.
Oof sorry for the delay but man I have been looking forward to taking the time to answer this ask since I first saw it! :D
You're so right, DO NOT SEPARATE THEM!
We'll start with Crowley:
Rate them: 100/10 baby sauntered vaguely into my HEART OKAY! Everyone loves Anthony J Crowley!!
Sexuality headcanon: Aziraphale-sexual.
Gender headcanon: All. Of. Them. Fluid as fuck. Give the snake all the genders!
Favorite moment/random trivia: My favorite scene is probably when he travels though a phone line and traps Hastur in his answering machine: heroic AF.
Also the LEWK he was rocking in the mid-2000s? probably my favorite style for him. The hair length is perfect and those sunglasses. I adore those sunglasses okay?
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Random headcanon: Has a sweet tooth that makes Aziraphale look like a dessert-hater. Just because we don't see him eat or drink that much doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it. He likes going to bars and ordering cocktails that are like 60% simple syrup and watching bartenders and patrons stare in horror as he guzzles them down one after the other for hours.
Opinion: I love Crowley I would die for Crowley I would love to invite Crowley over to watch Golden Girls and drink cocktails with me, this gentle snake deserves the world and I can't wait to see what outfits he rocks in Season 2!
Now for Aziraphale!
Rate them: 10000000000/10 my anxious baby. I don't 'kin' but I'd come close to such antics for this angel.
Sexuality headcanon: Crolwey-sexual, but he knows full well that humans perceive him as gay and he embraces that.
Gender headcanon: Agender. Keep that shit away from him, please. He uses he/him pronouns, but he is an ethereal being who doesn't have time for gender binaries.
Favorite moment/random trivia. BASTILLE AZIRAPHALE SUPERIORITY. His SHOES!
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Random headcanon: He was horrified by the first (and second) wave of the Black Death in Europe, and took it upon himself to go around miracling people back to good health. When Heaven caught wind of it, Gabriel came down and forbid him from interfering, and severely injured the hands he used to heal, leaving him with burnlike scars that lasted for about a century. Crowley hates the 14th century in part because of what it did to his angel physically and psychologically.
Opinion: Anxious, probably autistic and an unapologetic sensualist: what is not to love about this wonderful angel? One of my favorite characters ever. And sorry, but TV Aziraphale > book Aziraphale IMO!
30 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 15:33:30 GMT
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Got these pins from @toytle and god, I want to hug them! I want to offer them an apple juice. I’d give them my social security number if they asked nicely.
Please check out Toytle’s shop, I am over the moon with this purchase! Thanks so much!! 🥰🥰🥰
34 notes • Posted 2021-11-02 20:42:40 GMT
#1
Do you guys ever think about how Murdoc kidnapped Russel to get him to join the band?
And Russ heard his music and was just like “okay, I can vibe with this,” and agreed to join the band.
Like can you imagine Russel sitting down at the first band practice, which just devolves into 2D and Paula heading out to smoke and Murdoc ranting, likely high on amphetamines, about all the other bands he was frontman for, about the demons he’s summoned with black magic or whatever, about his abusive prick of a dad forcing him to sing Pinocchio songs and also how Murdoc has been considering trying a wine enema and what are Russel’s thoughts on that?
And Russ just sits behind his drum set like
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146 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 00:41:23 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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mirach · 4 years ago
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Good Omens recs
Here are some of my all time favourite stories, but be warned that my taste is rather specific and can get into darker themes. I especially like hurt/comfort focused on Aziraphale, but that’s not the only thing you’ll encounter in this list.
The Strong Tower by @aziraphalelookedwretched  (M, 41,458)
After the failed executions, a vengeful angel takes it upon herself to neutralise the threat presented by Crowley and Aziraphale.
All stories by BuggreAlleThis are wonderful even if they get very dark in places. There (almost) always is comfort that’s more than worth the hurt and I love them all, but this one remains special to me as one of the first stories I read in this fandom and awaited every update eagerly.   
White Walls and Dead Air by BabyHoldMyFlower (G; 3,382 words)
It’s after the fourth day that he decides he hates God. He’s too tired to hold it back. Too miserable. Too busy dying. He knows he’ll go back on it later. He knows that he’ll repent later, and he’ll mean it, he thinks, once he gains some perspective, but there is nothing that could stop this bone-deep agony from churning and rising into something ugly. He’s not supposed to feel this way. He’s an angel, he really shouldn’t be thinking these things. Blind obedience is what they were created for. It’s in this moment that he can admit to a flaw in the Almighty’s design. If she wanted soldiers, she shouldn’t have given them the capacity to love.
Beautifully written and bittersweet, with lovely wing grooming and insights into the characters.
A Demon Would A-Wooing Go by @shinyhappygoth (G; 301 words)
“Heigh ho,” said Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway.—Good Omens
Filk of "A Frog He Would A-Wooing Go".
I just love a silly take on a silly folk song that was actually referenced in the book, okay?
Flaming Sword by Bookwormgal (T; 8,576 words)
A dark shape in the not-quite-empty darkness. Dressed in black robes. Humanoid. Skeletal. Then wings unfolded. Angel wings, but not ones of feathers. Wings of night. Wings that Aziraphale could sense more than see in this strange place. And even if the thin thread didn't truly exist except as a concept to better understand what was happening, one skeletal hand rested on the weakening connection. Waiting patiently.
Azrael. Creation's Shadow. The Angel of Death.
"Oh," he said quietly, his voice swallowed by the emptiness.
Aziraphale remembered what happened. He remembered moving. He remembered the blade sliding in, sharp and sudden. He remembered pain. And then…
"I died, didn't I?" he asked.
I like the exploration of the theme of self-sacrifice here. This is just my personal pick from several of my favourite stories from this author.
Courage by Anonymous (E, 21,595 words - WIP)
Ten years after the world didn’t end, Heaven and Hell want to punish Aziraphale and Crowley for their treason.  Gabriel decides that the perfect way to punish both of them is to torture Aziraphale and force Crowley to watch; Hell agrees to the plan.  Aziraphale and Crowley are kidnapped from their South Downs cottage and taken to a neutral location; Aziraphale is tortured and raped and Crowley is forced to watch; they are then returned home, Aziraphale critically injured.  
This is the Prologue (the first three chapters; all of the violence is confined to chapter 2, which can be skipped).  
The real story begins in chapter 4; it’s the story of how Aziraphale and Crowley recover from the trauma.  They are both profoundly traumatized; it takes a long time, but they work through it together, and their marriage recovers.  There will be a happy ending.  
Aziraphale and Crowley heal each other.
This story is a WIP, but it already got to the part where things are getting better. It’s very (very!) heavy, but absolutely beautifully written, it’s giving me goosebumps.
Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please by die_traumerei (T, 14,645 words)
After Aziraphale is left gravely injured by a summoning, Crowley must take him to heaven and bargain with the angels for his life. It doesn't go as he'd expect. 
A hurt/comfort story that’s focused on the comfort part, really satisfying to read!
Evolution by @lady-divine-writes (M; 1,455 words)
Five times Aziraphale wasn’t the most confident Dom, and the one time it finally clicked. 
Again I’m only picking one story, but there are so many more from this author that I love! I bookmarked this one because I don’t usually see Aziraphale as Dom, but here he is fully in character and gets there through conscious effort, and it feels very empowering.
The Longest Night by @charlottemadison42 (series rated T-E, 34,747 words)
The night the Apocalypse doesn't happen, an angel and a demon share a bus bench on the way home to face their fates. This is the story of their evening spun out line by line, all the little moments that carried them through the night they knew might be their last.
A wonderfully written series giving a detailed account of the night before the trials, complete with drunken talk, with wonderful grasp of the characters. Again just a personal pick from the stories by a really great writer.
Who Needs Heaven (when we have each other)? by Kat_Rowe (series rated G-M (so far), 48,057 words so far)
Now that they're independent of Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale and Crowley become even closer. Friendship eventually turns to romance, and emotional intimacy to physical. (Slow-burn friends-to-lover fic series.)
A very gentle series starting with wing grooming and continuing through the exploration of a relationship in which one of the partners (Aziraphale) is asexual.
Fancy Patter on the Telephone by @hotcrosspigeon (G, 12,854 words)
A series of telephone conversations between Aziraphale and Crowley during the Lockdown.
They get steadily more desperate and ridiculous as the weeks go on.
Featuring a moping demon, a teasing angel, a pub quiz, an explosion, extraordinary amounts of alcohol, a bubble bath, awkward flirting, several love confessions... and an ill-conceived bet on who can last the longest without seeing the other.
What could possibly go wrong?
HotCrossPigeon is an amazing hurt/comfort writer who writes absolutely delightful Aziraphale ahurt/comfort from Crowley’s spot-on POV, so definitely check their other stories as well, but I just had to pick this one that’s actually humorous and doesn’t contain even a drop of blood because I couldn’t stop laughing with it.
Feathers by @29-pieces (series rated G; 23,247 words)
Pre-Apocalypse shenanigans. In this AU, when an angel and a demon fight, the victor customarily takes a feather from their opponent signifying victory over them. Usually followed by killing them, naturally. But sometimes the defeated angel or demon is left alive, minus a feather, so that everyone KNOWS. Neither Crowley or Aziraphale ever took part in that sort of thing because it's really just a mean thing to do.
A series of three stories, two with hurt Aziraphale and one with hurt Crowley.
5 Times Aziraphale was Almost Discorporated and One Time He Actually was by @charliebrown1234 (series rated T-M; 29,011 words)
This series is an absolute match for my need of Aziraphale hurt/comfort, just like their more recent story Ex Infirmitas, Sinceritas. One of the authors I’m subscribe to and read everything they write.
The Whole Sky Fell by @thepaisleyelf (T, 9,692 words)
“Okay, Aziraphale, out with it,” Crowley said finally. “What’s wrong?”
Aziraphale blinked. He suddenly seemed very interested in looking anywhere that wasn’t at Crowley, fiddling with the napkin in his lap.
“I don’t -- I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”  
Aziraphale really was a terrible liar. Under other circumstances Crowley might have found it charming, cute even, but his concern had been growing ever since he’d picked Aziraphale up for breakfast that morning....
Same as above, Turcote just knows what I love to read. Definitely check their other stories as well!
Desperate Ground by @desperateground (M, 55,883 words)
After they prevented the apocalypse and escaped execution, Crowley and Aziraphale thought they were safe from the machinations of Heaven and Hell. But there are still some demons with scores to settle - and since the angel and demon have made it clear to the world how far they're willing to go for each other, Hell has plenty of leverage on them.
A breathtaking story with torture and unwavering loyalty of the characters to each other.
***
And if you find these recs to your taste, then you might also enjoy
Back to the Roots by me (M, 90,946 words)
"We always knew it would end. Like mortals know that they'll die." Crowley closes his eyes, finding the stare of his own reflection unbearable. "When you're immortal, you can afford to pretend and hide and go slow. And then, when you finally figure it all out, it turns out that what you have can end anytime. It's unfair..." ---------- The morale in Heaven and Hell is low after the failed Apocalypse. Punishing the traitors (effectively this time) seems like a good idea to raise it for both sides - the angels would see what awaits them if they dare to disobey and the demons could just use some fun. And then there is someone else as well - someone whose grudge is even more personal. 
Also torture and unwavering loyalty, breaking the characters and then putting them together with great care. This is the darkest from my stories, so if torture is not your thing, you can check my other ones (mostly Aziraphale hurt/comfort too).
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rubykgrant · 4 years ago
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I made a slightly condensed version of my Spooky Ref list; it still has a heck ton of movies and books, but now I combined certain categories, eliminated a few, and removed some of the titles that don’t quite fit. If you are looking for things to watch or read so you can get into the Halloween mood (or of you just like some creepy content), here you go!
Movies and Books for October
These range from children’s media to adult content, so be sure to check the ratings/reviews, this way you’ll find ones that are suitable for the right viewers. The dates of movies and names of authors for books are included to make searches easier
(a * symbol is for when a title is in both sections, a book that got made into a movie, ect)
Halloween and Ghosts
Movies- Hocus Pocus (1993), *the Halloween Tree (1993), the Nightmare before Christmas (1993), Trick r Treat (2007), Monster House (2006), Halloweentown (1998), the Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949), Scary Godmother Halloween Spooktacular (2003), Poltergeist (1982), the Haunting (1999), Casper (1995), Ghostbusters (1984), the Haunted Mansion (2003), Thirteen Ghosts (2001), the Others (2001)
Books- How to Drive Your Family Crazy on Halloween by Dean Marney,*the Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury, the Haunted Mask (Goosebumps) by RL Stine, Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge, Stonewords a Ghost Story by Pam Conrad, Deep and Dark and Dangerous by Mary Downing Hahn, Ghost Beach (Goosebumps) by RL Stine, All the Lovely Bad Ones by Mary Downing Hahn, the Crossroads by Chris Grabenstein, Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn
 Witch/ESP/Mental Powers
Movies- *Practical Magic (1998), *the Wizard of Oz (1939), *the Witches (1990), Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989), Scooby-Doo and the Witch’s Ghost (1999) *Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), the Craft (1996), the Witches of Eastwick (1987), *Carrie (1976), *Firstarter (1984), *Matilda (1996), the Last Mimzy (2007)
Books- *Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman, *the Witches by Roald Dahl, Charmed Life by Diana Wynne Jones, *Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by JK Rowling, *the Wizard of Oz by L Frank Baum, T*Witches by HB Gilmour and Randi Reisfeld, the Worst Witch by Jill Murphy, *Carrie by Stephen King, *Firestarter by Stephen King, *Matilda by Roald Dahl, Scorpion Shards (Star Shards Chronicles) by Neal Shusterman, the Witch’s Boy by Michael Gruber
 Vampire and Werewolf
Movies- Blade (1998), the Little Vampire (2000), Hellboy Blood and Iron (2007), *Hotel Transylvania (2012), Fright Night (2011), What We Do in the Shadows (2014), Alvin and the Chipmunks meet The Wolfman (2000), Ginger Snaps (2000), Van Helsing (2004) Wolf Children (2012), the Wolfman (1941)
Books- Bunnicula by James and Deborah Howe, Dracula by Bram Stoker, ‘Salem’s Lot by Stephen King, Red Rider’s Hood by Neal Shusterman, the Werewolf of Fever Swamp (Goosebumps) by RL Stine, Werewolves Don't Go to Summer Camp (Bailey School Kids) by Debbie Dadey and Marcia Jones, Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause, Night of the Werepoodle by Constance Hiser
 Zombies and Slasher/Gore
Movies- Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998), ParaNorman (2012), Night of the Living Dead (1968), *Pet Sematary (1989), Zombieland (2009), Resident Evil (2002), Dawn of the Dead (2004) Scream (1996), a Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), *I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), Kill Bill (2003), Happy Death Day (2017), the Hills Have Eyes (2006), US (2019), Friday the 13th (1980), the Thing (1982), *the Girl with all the Gifts (2016)
Books- *Pet Sematary by Stephen King, the Haunting of Derek Stone by Tony Abott, Welcome to Dead House (Goosebumps) by RL Stine, *I know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan, the Dark Half by Stephen King, The Dead Girlfriend (Point Horror) by RL Stine, Another by Yukito Ayatsuji, the Prom Queen (Fear Street) by RL Stine, *the Girl with all the Gifts by MR Carey
 Demons/Possession/Afterlife
Movies- the Omen (1976), Insidious (2010), the Exorcist (1973), *Christine (1983), City of Angels (1998), All Dogs go to Heaven (1989), Fallen (1998), *Rosemary’s Baby (1968), Bedazzled (2000), What Dreams May Come (1998), the Book of Life (2014), Flatliners (2017), *the Lovely Bones (2009), Coco (2017), Jennifer’s Body (2009), the Mummy (1999)
Books- *Christine by Stephen King, Needful Things by Stephen King, HECK where the bad kids go by Dale E Bayse,* Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin, Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Paradise Lost by John Milton, Inferno by Dante Alighieri, *the Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
 Monsters/Mythology/Dangerous Animals
Movies- Monsters Inc (2001), Godzilla (1998), *a Monster Calls (2016), *Jurassic Park (1993), King Kong (1933), Doug’s 1st Movie (1999), Darkness Falls (2003), Atlantis the lost empire (2001), Sinbad Legend of the Seven Seas (2003), *the Last Unicorn (1982), Urban Legend (1998), *How to Train Your Dragon (2010), the Flight of Dragons (1982), Shrek (2001), *the Hobbit (1977), Quest for Camelot (1998), Ferngully the last rainforest (1992), Lake Placid (1999), Jaws (1975), *Cujo (1983), Deep Blue Sea (1999), Anaconda (1997)
Books- *a Monster Calls by Patrick Ness, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, *Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton, Sasquatch by Roland Smith, *the Last Unicorn by Peter S Beagle, the Moorchild by Eloise Jarvis McGraw, the Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) by Rick Riordan, the Boggart by Susan Cooper, *How to Train Your Dragon by Cressida Cowell, Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville, *the Hobbit by JRR Tolkien, *Cujo by Stephen King, Cat in the Crypt (Animal Ark Hauntings) by Ben M Baglio, Congo by Michael Crichton, Watership Down by Richard Adams, the Dark Pond by Joseph Bruchac
 Dolls and Toys, Circus/Carnival/Clowns, Comedy Horror
Movies- *Coraline (2009), the Adventures of Pinocchio (1996), Child’s Play (1988), Toy Story (1995), 9 (2009), We’re Back a dinosaur’s story (1993), the Care Bears Movie (1985), Little Nemo adventures in Slumberland (1989), *Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983), *Big Top Scooby-Doo (2012), Killer Klowns from Outer Space, *IT (2017), *Beetlejuice (1988), Army of Darkness (1992), Gremlins (1984), Arachnophobia (1990), Jawbreaker (1999), Tremors (1990), the Frighteners (1996), Twilight Zone the Movie (1983), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), Eight Legged Freaks (2002), the Goonies (1985)
Books- Frozen Charlotte by Alex Bell, *Coraline by Neil Gaiman, No Flying in the House by Betty Brock, Doll Bones by Holly Black, Joyland by Stephen King, *Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury, the Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, *IT by Stephen King, the Cuckoo Clock of Doom (Goosebumps) by RL Stine, a Dirty Job by Christopher Moore jr, Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Treasury) by Alvin Schwartz and illustrated by Stephen Gammell, JTHM (Director’s Cut) by Jhonen Vasquez
 Gothic/Dark Fantasy, Curse/Transformation
Movies- *the Addams Family (1991), Rebecca (1940), Edward Scissorhands (1990), Mama (2013), the Phantom of the Opera (2004), Crimson Peak (2010), Legend (1985), the Dark Crystal (1982), Labyrinth (1986), *the Neverending Story (1984), *the Secret of NIMH (1982), Anastasia (1997), Howl’s Moving Castle (2004), Pan’s Labyrinth (2006), Willow (1988), *the Last Unicorn (1982), the Princess Bride (1987), *Legend of the Guardians the Owls of Ga'Hoole, Beauty and the Beast (1991), the Princess and the Frog (2009), the Swan Princess (1994), the Thing (1982), the Mask (1994), Freaky Friday (2003), Song of the Sea (2014), Pirates of the Caribbean the Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Books- the Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, the Shining by Stephen King, Remember Me by Mary Higgins Clark, a Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, Well Witched (Verdigris Deep) by Frances Hardinge, Poison by Chris Wooding, *the Neverending Story by Michael Ende, *Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O'Brien, a Tale Dark and Grimm by Adam Gidwitz, the Dark Portal by Robin Jarvis, Zel by Donna Jo Napoli, *the Last Unicorn by Peter S Beagle, *Guardians of Ga’Hoole by Kathryn Lasky, Owl in Love by Patrice Kindl
 Mystery/Thriller/Psychological/Suspense
Movies- Clue (1985), *Holes (2003), Get Out (2017), Hot Fuzz (2007), Minority Report (2002), Kidnap (2017), Saw (2004), Wind River (2017), Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988), the Great Mouse Detective (1986), Eve’s Bayou (1997), Breaking In (2018), Cube (1997), *Secret Window (2004), Silent Hill (2006), the Sixth Sense (1999), the Good Son (1993), Psycho (1960), Donnie Darko (2001), Fargo (1996), the Game (1997), the Invisible Man (2020), Breaking In (2018)
Books- *Holes by Louis Sachar, the Lost (the Outer Limits) by John Peel, We’ll Meet Again by Mary Higgins Clark, When the Bough Breaks by Jonathan Kellerman, *Secret Window Secret Garden (Four Past Midnight) by Stephen King, House of Stairs by William Sleator, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Dolores Claiborne by Stephen King, Tangerine by Edward Bloor, Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the Girl who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King
 Sci-Fi/Space Aliens, Robots and Technology
Movies- I Robot (2004), the Iron Giant (1999), the Terminator (1984), AI artificial intelligence (2001), the Stepford Wives (2004), Wall-E (2008), *Screamers (1995), *Sphere (1998), *Blade Runner (1982), *2001 a Space Odyssey (1968), MIB (1997), Mission to Mars (2000), Galaxy Quest (1999), Alien (1979), ET the extra terrestrial (1982), Independence Day (1996), Spaced Invaders (1990), Buzz Lightyear of Star Command the Adventure Begins (2000), Chicken Little (2005), *War of the Worlds (1953), *Contact (1997), Signs (2002), Treasure Planet (2002), Frequency (2000), Back to the Future (1985), the Time Machine (1960), Planet of the Apes (1968), Lost in Space (1998)
Books- the Terminal Man by Michael Crichton, Feed by Matthew Tobin Anderson, *Second Variety (Screamers) by Phillip K Dick, *I Robot by Isaac Asimov, Cell by Stephen King, *Sphere by Michael Crichton, *Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (Blade Runner) by Philip K Dick , *2001 a Space Odyssey by  Arthur C Clarke, a Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, the Dark Side of Nowhere by Neal Shusterman, *War of the Worlds by HG Wells, *Contact by Carl Sagan, Childhood’s End by Arthur C Clarke, Aliens Don’t Wear Braces (the Baily School Kids) by Debbie Dadey and Marcia Jones, the Invasion (Animorphs) by KA Applegate
 Dystopia/Disaster, Other Worlds
Movies- Waterworld (1995), the Matrix (1999), Escape from New York (1981), *Demolition Man (1993), the Day After Tomorrow (2004), Volcano (1997), the Fifth Element (1997), Titan AE (2000), Armageddon (1998), Twister (1996), the Birds (1963), the Book of Eli, (2010) Spirited Away (2001), *Alice in Wonderland (1951), Pleasantville (1998), *the Phantom Tollbooth (1970), *the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), *Hook (1991), the Pagemaster (1994), *James and the Giant Peach (1996)
Books- Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix, Uglies by Scott Westerfeld, the Road by Cormac McCarthy, the House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer, 1984 by George Orwell, Armageddon Summer by Bruce Coville and Jane Yolen, the Giver by Lois Lowry, the City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau, *Brave New World (Demolition Man) by Aldous Huxley, Malice by Chris Wooding, * the Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, *Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, the Golden Compass (His Dark Materials) by Philip Pullman, *The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (the Chronicles of Narnia) by CS Lewis, *James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
 Anime/Manga and J-Horror
Movies- Akira (1988), Perfect Blue (1997), Ring (1998), Dark Water (2002), Ghost in the Shell (1995), Tokyo Godfathers (2003), Cat Soup (2001), *Cowboy Bebop the Movie (2001), Blood the Last Vampire (2000), Pokemon the First Movie (1998), Sailor Moon R Promise of the Rose (1993), DBZ the World’s Strongest (1990), Digimon the Movie (2000), Ju-On (2000)
Manga- Claymore by Norihiro Yagi, Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba and illustrated by Takeshi Obata, *Yu Yu Hakusho by Yoshihiro Togashi, *Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa, *Blue Exorcist by Kazue Katō, *Soul Eater by Atsushi Ōkubo, *Inuyasha by Rumiko Takahashi,
Anime- *Yu Yu Hakusho, *Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, *Soul Eater, *Blue Exorcist, *Inuyasha, *Cowboy Bebop, Mob Psycho 100, .hack//SIGN , the Promised Neverland, Paranoia Agent, Tokyo Ghoul, Hellsing Ultimate
 Super Hero
Movies- Hellboy (2004), Ghost Rider (2007), the Incredibles (2004), Batman Beyond return of the Joker (2000), TMNT (2007), Logan (2017), Black Panther (2018), Sky High (2005), Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse (2018), Justice League Crisis on Two Earths (2010), Batman Under the Red Hood (2010)
Comics- Animal Man (New 52, 2011) DC Comics, Swamp Thing (New 52, 2011) DC Comics, BPRD Dark Waters (2012) Dark Horse Comics, Nextwave (Agents of HATE, 2006) Marvel Comics
Animated Series- Batman the Animated Series, X-Men Evolution, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003), Darkwing Duck, the Powerpuff Girls, Teen Titans (2005), Static Shock, Green Lantern the Animated Series
 Cartoons and TV shows
Over the Garden Wall, The Simpsons (Treehouse of Horrors), Regular Show (Terror Tales of the Park), Adventure Time (Stakes), Scooby-Doo Where Are You/What’s New Scooby-Doo,  El Tigre the Adventures of Manny Rivera, Phineas and Ferb (Night of the Living Pharmacists), Gravity Falls, Good Omens, Miracle Workers, Grimm, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, What We Do In the Shadows, Hotel Transylvania the series, Wolf’s Rain, Danny Phantom, Aaahh Real Monsters, the Munsters, So Weird, Tutenstein, Gargoyles, Xena Warrior Princess, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Tales from the Crypt, Goosebumps, Samurai Jack, Metalocalypse, Super Jail, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Futurama, the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, *Beetlejuice (animated series), Sabrina the Animated Series, the Owl House, Bewitched, Growing Up Creepy, the Addams Family (animated series), a Series of Unfortunate Events, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Star VS the Forces of Evil, Amphibia, Infinity Train, Penn Zero Part-Time Hero, Murder She Wrote, the Venture Bros, Avatar the Last Airbender, Invader ZIM, People of Earth, Star Trek Next Gen, Rick and Morty, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
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