#wait somehow this got put in my drafts instead of posting when I saw it IM SORRY

[likedaylighht]

hey bestie just wanted to send you good vibes 💕💕 i hope you’re doing well

Omg hi 🥹💗 this just made me smile so much thank you!!! I’m thriving bc today I finally got rid of the migraine I’ve had for the past week so I feel like a normal human again and it’s great

[yawn-junn]

could u do a riize reaction when their s/o sees a spider and askes (begs) them to kill iy lmaaoo (its fine if u cant tho)

✰Begging them to kill a spider for you✰

✰Special thanks too: Anon, Riize

✰Note: I legit wrote this awhile ago and thought I posted it lmfaoo it's been in my drafts also remember I have a 25 days till Christmas event going on at the moment please leave your requests with the members you'd like to see

✰TW: spiders : joke mention of a spider killing Seunghan : Sohee Lowkey being a dick : mentions of a bad bob (both a spider and Sungchan) :

✰Taglist: @eumppappasgrippers @mxlly143 @cherriruto @bunnie-stay-p1ece

8-18-23

Ｗｏｎｂｉｎ

Wonbin was minding his own business cleanings things, when he heard a scream echo from the living room ignoring it ,as he thought you were just playing a game or watching TV "WONBIN!" you screamed now gaining his attention, speed walking in to the living room, Wonbin saw you somehow perched on the tall bookcase pointing at a small furry spider on the floor "get rid of the demon!" You yelled terrified, Wonbin simply laughing picking the spider up and, taking it outside.

Ｓｏｈｅｅ

Sohee saw it first he didn't say anything waiting for your reaction a few minutes later your screams of horror echoes throughout his dorm, startling the other members everyone rushed to see the cause of the noise, seeing you standing in a corner screaming for Sohee to get rid of it, instead Sohee picked it up and threw it at you, your screams got even louder as you ran out the house making Anton check to see if the spider was on you.

Ｓｈｏｔａｒｏ

Shotaro was cleaning the dishes when he saw it, in a midst of panic, He called for you thinking your get rid of it, only for you to scream and run forcing him to take care of it, now Shotaro knows not to call for you.

Ｓｕｎｇｃｈａｎ

If anything scared you worse than his haircut in that one live, it was spiders, with equally worse hair than he had, screaming you ran and pulled him to the room the spider was in, practically crying Sungchan giggled as you showed him the spider, letting it outside, before gloating the fact that you came to him for help.

Ｓｅｕｎｇｈａｎ

Equally as scared, y'all legit had to call another member to get rid of the spider, he may have gotten teased for it, but a spider didn't kill him that day, so in his eyes it's a win for him.

Ｅｕｎｓｅｏｋ

You spotted the spider in the bathroom, quickly rushing to grab your suitcase, you start packing up your stuff mumbling about how the spider now owns the house, an oblivious Eunseok panicked when he seen you packing your stuff, thinking your breaking up with him he starts crying, his tears immediately stop, quickly ridding of the creature, he rushes back to you and unpacks your things while scolding you.

Ａｎｔｏｎ

He gets scared from the sudden screaming coming out of the bathroom "Anton!" Was the only word you could scream, he tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked "Yn! The doors locked I can't get in are you ok?" He asked through the door the only response he got back was "ITS MOVING OH MY GOD ITS MOVING!" you shrieked in horror "what's moving-" he asked his question falling upon deaf ears, after a minute of thinking he remembered where the two of you put the key quickly grabbing it and unlocking the door, he noticed you pressed in a corner on the toilet pure horror written on your face as you pointed a shakey finger to the small spider crawling on the sink, Anton blinked for a moment before giggling "it's a daddy long leg Yn it can't do anything" he laughed "I dont care get rid of it please" you said taking deep breaths quickly he picked the spider up and took it outside

[tofulikesmala]

Genshin men with a kairi type reader

Notes: this was a request that I got but I accidentally deleted it because I thought it would be saved as a draft and it didn’t so I wrote halfway and accidentally deleted it. If I remember correctly it was 🦇🩷 anon? Anyways I hope you find this post, I thank you for being my first requester and I apologise for writing this late. I would also like to mention that I don’t know who the fuck kairi is so I had to do some research, and I apologise if she’s ooc. And I’m gonna say I don’t know that much about wriothesley so it’s kinda short

Who?: alhaitham, Xiao, Neuvillette, Wriothesley (if there was anyone I forgot, please do message me again so I could write!

genre: fluff (platonic)

reader is around 14-16

Xiao

Well, I don’t know how the frikity frack how you managed to get this guy to give a fuck about you but let’s say you do. Well, he would be passive aggressive. Like example it rains, you are drenched because you forgot to bring an umbrella, so you call out his name. Xi- he’s there. You can practically hear him roll his eyes and sighing internally as he sees you drenched. He pulls you towards him as he mutters foolish mortal under his breath as he teleports you to wangshu inn with him. And with a bit of magic once you arrive there he throws a towel on your face and leaves. But hey he cares! When he discovers your dairy and doodles he scoffs as he asks you what was the purpose of it. You smile gently at him as you explain your purpose. But as someone who has lived so long, of course he doesn’t understand. He would act as if he doesn’t care, but expect to find your dairy missing because he’s gonna read everything💀. Onto another topic. Somehow…. He’s attracted to your liveliness. How energetic you are, and how even though you’re weaker at him, your eyes would be filled with determination to keep him safe as well. All in all, Xiao cherishes you deep inside.

Alhaitham

Alhaitham well….is probably worse than Xiao. In my opinion. But he’s much more true in showing his protective side, after all he sees you as a little sibling. Whenever danger arises, he would be those kind of guy to put a protective arm around you, shielding you from any harm. He admires your courage when he sees you wanting to fight, not wanting him to get hurt as well. But he probably dismisses it as stupidity instead. Now… onto him discovering your dairy and doodles

Alhaitham walks into your room, realizing you’re not there. He sits on your bed, waiting for you to come. He notices something in the corner of his eye. He turns his head slightly as he sees a book opened lying face down on the bed. He picks it up as he wonders “what do we have here” he reads it, to find out it was your dairy, and he couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle when he saw your cute doodles. When you opened the door, your face flushed as you saw alhaitham reading your dairy. Looking at you, alhaitham places the book back down and says “pardon me, but the curiosity got the better of me”

Neuvillette

This man would probably be the one who shows the most protectiveness out of all. After losing two good friends, he intends to lose none more. He always brushes you aside when you want to fight along side him. Your beautiful, cheerful and energetic nature just brightens up his day. He sees you as a friend, a young child who shouldn’t see the dangers of the world yet. Someone he must protect. He’s never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you 😔. Now, where he discovers the dairy and doodles

I’m lazy so let’s say he found it by chance. He gently flips through the pages, smiling as he sees your cute doodles on your dairy. He reads through your everyday life. Warmth filled his heart as he decides, that’s he’s going to make your life much more interesting. As he sees you, he smiles warmly and says “ah, I have invaded your privacy, have I not? I would like to apologise.” He stands up, looking down on you (because we’re short :( ) “Shall we go out for a walk?”

Wriothesley

Well, he grew up in an orphanage, he’s good with kids. Meaning he’s good with you. He’d be that one really caring brother, but he can be such a tease sometimes. With both of your personalities, you guys would click and get along really well💀👍

Let’s just say y’all are talking in your room and he sees your dairy. “Oooo what do we have here?” He grins as he picks up the dairy. Your face turns to one of panic as you tried to take it away from him, only to have his strong arms push away your head gently as he reads it out “Today I blablablablabla” only to leave your faces flushed with embarrassment as he continued to read your dairy. His eyes widen as he chances upon a doodle of him. “Aww this is so cute” as he ruffles your hair. Your groan at him. “Can I have it back already?” He shuts the book with a satisfying thud as he stands up, the book still in his hands. “Nope! I’m gonna read it all!” He smirks at you before exiting the room.

[polariskai]

txt prompts/blurbs/writing ideas.

⋆ hey hi hello !! so I have around 738272 txt au works in my drafts and I know that I will most probably never get to write any of these so I decided to just post some of them here as writing ideas.

⋆ I've discarded this works for mainly two reasons. for one, it was quite tedious for me to conceptualize or write. two, I just ost interest in writing them lol

⋆ I would also like to say that for these writing ideas, you can freely use them and no need for credit. These can also be used for other fandoms as well, I labeled them as txt writing ideas because originally these were really intended for them. If you do use them though, I would like to be tagged hehe

. . . . . . . .

[ LEGEND ] ☂︎ : angst , ♡ : fluff

CHOI YEONJUN °

— man of my dreams | ☂︎

yeonjun was everything you’ve ever wanted. You loved and adored him so much, or so you thought. You have created fantasies of him in your head and once they began to crumble down, soon you were hammered with the reality of how he truly was to you . After a bitter breakup, you wonder on who's end does the fault of the relationship lie on. Was it your fault for creating this unhealthy and unrealistic idea of him, being oh so in love with the idea of him than him, really? Or was it yeonjun’s fault for failing to meet your expectations and be a good partner to you that it drove you to create another ideal version of him?

› ideal as a oneshot

› has a complete outline already ! just dm me if you want it

— the villain's savior | ☂︎♡

you are devastated when you find out your favorite character in the Isekai romance fantasy manhwa you were reading, the second lead turned villain, choi yeonjun is on the brink of death on the last chapter update. the next day, you wake up shocked and confused to see a boy who looks extremely identical to yeonjun laying on your couch, in the same exact bloody and injured state in the last chapter you saw yeonjun in.

CHOI SOOBIN °

— summer flame | ♡

choi soobin. the one boy that somehow always gets on your nerves for the most ridiculous reasons. from leaving his pencil shavings on your desk to wearing a teenage mutant ninja turtles shirt to your acting project, you just couldn't stand being around him even if he was the last person on earth. But what happens when you're forced you to spend almost two weeks of your summer with the one person you despise the most?

› has a complete outline already ! just dm me if you want it

CHOI BEOMGYU °

— love is sour grapes | ☂︎

a hanahaki au wherein you only get the disease if you assume the one you love doesn't love you back. the only way you can reverse the damage is by removing every single memory you have of that person through a surgical procedure. not even reciprocated love can save you.

you and beomgyu are childhood friends. your relationship over the years became pretty complicated. there was something blooming between the two of you but you were too scared to put the label and commit to it. beomgyu on the other hand has confessed and has been patiently waiting for more than a year for an answer. at some point, what ends up blooming instead are the petals threatening beomgyu's lungs.

KANG TAEHYUN °

— game on! | ☂︎♡

you and kang taehyun go head to head on a battle to becoming the student council president on your senior year. the conflict really arises when the results come and it's revealed you guys got a tie in the score tally. the school schedules a re-election on the next month. and neither of you plan on accepting defeat, you both constantly bicker and pull pranks on each other. In a party set on the day before your re-election debate, you and taehyun find yourselves stuck in a different type of tension.

[familyfriendlyweed]

late night snaps (quackity x reader)

a/n : before we get into the story, i wanted to thank you all for such support on my first post - i only posted it yesterday, and got a hell lot of likes and reblogs and even gained 23 followers, which is insane for me (or maybe i just don’t know how tumblr works, haha)! anyhow, i’m really happy you guys enjoyed it <3 

 it was 02:37 and you were editing your newest video. you had no idea it would take so long, though! even if you were used to staying up very late, you knew you have to put away your laptop and go get some sleep. 

 saving the video as a draft and shutting your computer off, you started to blindly search for your phone, since your eyes didn’t get used to the darkness yet. finally finding it, you turned it on to set an alarm for the next morning when you suddenly saw a snapchat notification from ten minutes ago. it was from Alex. you curiously unlocked your phone and tapped the little notification to be led straight to snapchat.

idiota : hello mamacita

 your face instantly lit up in a childish smile. you started to type your response eagerly like it wasn’t 2 am and you didn’t have online classes tomorrow. 

 you : why hello there, el señor

 you saw Alex’s silly bitmoji pop up as he started to type.  

 idiota : what is my chica bella doing up so late?

 you giggled, getting comfortable in your bed - this meant a long chatting session on its way.

 you : YOUR chica bella? when did that happen?

 idiota : ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! >:((((

 you : fine you big baby, i was finishing editing a new video

 idiota : hmm i see, i see

 you : what about you though? u should get some sleep!!! :(((

 Alex’s bitmoji started typing, then stopped for some reason. you lifted your eyebrow at that. then he continued, but it took a while for him to finish.

 idiota : why, i just couldn’t fall asleep when you were on my mind all the time, mi amor

 your cheeks grew red in an instant. you knew you could handle jokes pretty well, but this was quite too much. Alex never got so far as to actually flirt with you.

 you : eh??? what drugs are u on

 idiota : the only drug for me is you mamacita

 you snorted. you had no idea if he was being serious or not, even if the second option was more likely.

 you : literally go to sleep wtf

 idiota : i’d sleep better if you were by my side ;)

 this was enough for you - you felt as if you got one more message like this from him, you’d die from the hotness in your cheeks. setting your phone down, you made your way to the bathroom before bed.

 you came back five minutes later, only to see your phone full of notifications from Alex. your heart was thumping really hard, you weren’t used to this, but you opened snapchat anyway.

 idiota : mamacita?

 idiota : ....

 idiota : mamacita, don’t joke w me like that

 idiota : did you really just leave me on read wtf

 idiota : i’m sad come back :(((

 and at last, there was a snap from him. you were quite scared at this point. with a shaking hand, you opened it.

 you laughed so hard that you seriously thought you’ll have a seizure. still laughing, you snapped a selfie with a cute filter on (you really thought you looked horrible at the moment), captioned it with “your chica bella had to take a piss u simp” and sent it to Alex.

 he opened the snap almost imediatelly and started typing afterwards :

 idiota : mamacita!!!! you look hermosa!!!!

 you : that’s because i have a filter on lmaoo

 idiota : mamacita don’t let yourself down, you are so beautiful :((

 you started to text a sarcastic reply, but stopped. for some reason, Alex seemed like he was being truthful. he wasn’t joking around when he called you beautiful, that was too affectionate.

 you : ...really?

 idiota : si, si! <3

 you tugged at your lip in a thinking manner. true, you had feelings for Alex, but you never thought he had something similar to you. or maybe... maybe he was just supporting you as a friend. figuring that was probably it, you texted :

 you : thank you quacker B]] ur also v handsome

 idiota : mamacita likes me!!!!!😍😍😍

 you smiled sadly. Alex was definitely playing around. you got lost in thought for a few moments, thinking about how would he act if he was actually in love with someone. would he, perhaps, be more mature? that would be very weird to look at.

 finally coming back to planet Earth, you looked at your phone only to see that Alex has written a shit ton of messages again :

 idiota : i want to see you, mamacita

 idiota : it’s fine if u don’t want to, you’re probably going to sleep anyway...

 idiota : but maybe let’s meet tomorrow?

 idiota : mamacita?

 idiota : ....

 idiota : i’m coming over <3

 your heart gave a leap of embarassment and surprise. why would he even say that?

 you : wait what

 you : wdym “i’m coming over”

 you : no tf ur not

 you : go to sleep

 idiota : doesn’t mamacita want to see muah???

 you : no, that would be awesome, but you should go to sleep, really :(

 idiota : y/n, i already told you, i can’t sleep when you’re on my mind

 you froze in spot, staring at your screen for what felt like an eternity. did he just call you by your name? you knew he only says it in serious situations. deciding to change your tactic, you started texting seriously :

 you : are you like... for real now?

 you : because i know you call me by my name in serious situations, but maybe it’s only a prank, so just answer me truthfully, okay?

 Alex started typing, it took even longer that before, but at last you saw his message, this time without caps, spammed question/exclamation marks, nothing silly at all :

 idiota : i am serious, y/n. believe me, this is not a prank. i just really wanna see you. 

 your heart skipped a beat or two, your face renewed its redness. you felt as if you were dreaming.

 you : okay... i’m really glad. come over, please

 idiota : thank you so much

 you started pondering in your head - how did this happen? how did this silly conversation turn out like this? 

 but what if Alex texted you because he wanted to come over in the first place? after all, he knew how shitty your sleep schedule was. that would be awesome, you thought, a small smile dancing on your lips.

 you checked the snap map only to see Alex about 100 meters from you. wait... what? 100 METERS??? was Alex near your place the moment he texted you for the first time?

 you jumped up, starting to tidy up your messy room up, only to remember you look like poop at the moment - hair messy, face tired, clothes scrunched. 

 exhaling heavily, you tried to change your appearance quickly - you ran into the bathroom, brushing your hair panickily. then you wrenched the makeup bag open and started to rummage through it trying to find some mascara or something...

 ding ding! 

 you froze, your eyes widened. he was already here, what the hell?!

 you quickly put on some mascara, ran into the hallway while brushing your face with your hands from stress (completely forgetting you have mascara on, somehow) and unlocked the door.

 Alex’s figure was dark, since the lightbulb in the corridor wasn’t working, and it almost gave you a fright. but as soon as he engulfed you in a warm hug, the tension in the pit of your stomach vanished. you hugged him back almost unsurely, but smiling.

 “hello, mamacita”

 you giggled. for some reason, you got the strongest urge to cry. probably from happiness, but it still was confusing to you. nevertheless, tears started running down your cheeks, mixing with mascara, probably making you look like you were going to a halloween dress up party. 

 “hey, why are you crying?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

 “i look horrible.” you laughed, wiping your tears away.

 “nooo, why won’t you listen to me? i already told you you’re beautiful.” he said with a cute pout. 

 “alright, alright, i’m very beautiful, let me down now.” you said, noticing that he was still holding you in his arms tightly. 

 “whatever the chica bella says.”

 he put you down.

 “aren’t you going to turn on some light? i feel like i’ve gone blind!” Alex exclaimed jokingly and you giggled.

 “i’m like a bat, i hate much light, sorry. buuuut i could turn on this little lamp.” you said, making your way to your desk and turning on a cute little lamp the shade of warm pink.

 “perfect.” Alex said, eyeing you in light now. you thought he’ll make a comment about your awful mascara-stained face, but he said nothing, just smiling and looking at you in awe, like you were some princess in a ball dress instead of a tired college student in messy shorts, an oversized t-shirt and two different socks, because you couldn’t find a pair of the same ones.

 “perfect.” he repeated, shrugging with a smile on his face, like seeing you was everything he needed.

 you laughed and hugged him, muttering a “thanks for coming”. Alex didn’t hesitate and also hugged you, holding you as close as possible, as if he let go of you, he’d drown and would never come back to be by your side again. 

 little did you know, he felt the exact same way.

[cloveroctobers]

THEA MAYS x f!READER / Summer Prompts

A/N: remember when I said there would possibly be a spring prompt for this want to be mean girl? Lol. Officially deleted it from my drafts since it’s summer now and we got to get it together! Anyways been wanting to write for awhile now so why not slide into something light?! Kinda. So I can continue to be inspired to write this lovely season. Although most of the AA + AA HC works will flop a little since the tags aren’t that updated, people hate the writing—which I get! or it’s usually the same shit you see there. Anyways!!!

WARNINGS: Deflecting + Thea being problematic?

Song that inspired this —

#4. Pool Party from this prompt list here — https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com/post/653205377012367360/summer-prompts-heres-a-list-of-thirty-summer

~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

Thea’s argument for everything lately was simply, she was figuring things out. And sure there was nothing wrong with that statement per se…until it started to become an excuse.

Once the classes before summer approached were officially over, Thea couldn’t wait to actually get away from bringston university. Thea had until July before she left for Seychelles to spend the summer with her grandmother and thought about throwing a pool party at her house. Both of her parents were away on “business” with her mother landing in Dubai and her father in Chicago—which really meant being away from each other (since they were attempting to avoid a divorce) it was the perfect idea.

At least you tried to persuade. You were really Thea’s only best friend, the only one she allowed to get close enough to; you were the one to always bring her out of her shell when she needed it. You saw pass the whole queen bee trope Thea was still sticking with and sure you were always down for some one on one time with your bestie but the semester took a turn to say the least.

The party was in full swing with the heat baking down on the various of melanin that decorated Thea’s backyard. Everyone was invited, even people that Thea didn’t invite but somehow ended up here attended. Thea wasn’t one to have people up in her space and muttered that she should have thrown a beach party instead but once she had a few Jell-O shots she seemed to simmer down.

That’s until Damon Sims approached the both of you, who lounged against the pool trimmings. He was dressed casually with a white tank assorted with a single gold chain, pink and black printed swim trunks, slides, started to let some facial hair grow in and cut his thick hair down to have his waves on swim, also his skin looked really moisturized in this blazing Georgia heat.

“Damnit, he looks good.” Thea scoffed beside you, before she brought her own red cup back up to her lips.

You snorted before putting on a smile up at the six foot man who approached the two of you.

“Ladies, it’s good to see you.” He started.

Thea flicked her hair back with one hand staring off in another direction with her sunglasses covering her eyes, “is it though?”

You nudged her.

Damon kept his cool, “I didn’t think JR would get the invite first but it’s coo, I know you’ve been busy since...Classes ended.” He chose his words carefully.

“Glad you could make it, Mr. High yellow!” You raised your plastic cup at the man who laughed at your joke with a slight roll of his eyes, tapping his cup against yours.

It seemed at if thea wouldn’t be doing much talking. And it didn’t take long for Damon to pick up on that as he shot you a look in which you shrugged your shoulders and mouthed a, “sorry,” to him.

He cleared his throat, “thea…do you think you and I can go have a conversation?”

“No.” She snapped, “go carry a new conversation somewhere else maybe with Simone, actually. I know how much you love talking to her and I didn’t even invite her ass.”

Grimacing you took a sip of your fruity cocktail.

Damon began to squat down in the space between the two of you, keeping his tone steady, “don’t be like this baby—

“Oh no,” Thea laughed, “don’t think you can just waltz over here throwing around pet names like it’s supposed to mean something to me. You chose her side time and time again even after I screwed up my arm…it’s insulting and I don’t deserve to be anyone’s number two. I worked too damn hard for everything and I deserve to have fun, not someone wasting my time.”

Damon inhaled as he noticed some eyes watching the dynamic. He gently placed his hand on Thea’s shoulder, which she flinched away from. He eased up, raising his hands in surrender, “Sure I could do better but…I’ve never chosen Simone over you.”

“Bullshit!” Thea hissed, “it’s always been that way, I maybe clueless to a lot of things but this mess of a relationship? Absolutely not! I should have listened to y/n from the very beginning.” Thea huffed, glancing up at the bright sky.

You felt Damon’s eyes burn into you now. Of course Thea threw you under the bus without thinking. Sure you and Damon got along since you shared a few classes together; before he got involved with Thea but that did not mean you didn’t have an opinion on this whole ordeal.

Damon sighed, “I agreed on this mini separation…thinking it would help us both get our minds right when it came to tennis and baseball but I really think we should further talk it out.”

Thea shoved her shades back so Damon could see the fire beneath her dark eyes. She smirked up at him sitting in silence for a moment and you knew that did not mean anything good.

The next thing you know, Thea’s reaching for the side of your neck and turning your jaw by her fingertips and you couldn’t catch her eyes as she was only staring at your lips. She took a small inhale before she planted a kiss right on yours. And you were guilty because you kissed back in that very short impulsive moment.

When she abruptly pulled back, still holding onto your skull she smiled back menacingly at Damon who’s brows were definitely furrowed right now.

“There’s your answer, damon.” Thea licked his lips, “there’s not much else to talk about, you see? I’m not just going to sit around and wait for you to decide to pick me for once. So leave me the hell alone and don’t come crawling back once you see me consistently leveling up.” She fanned her hand at the boy, handing him her cup before she lifted off the cemented seat to filly submerge herself into the water.

And both you and Damon watched her for a moment, until damon scoffed and rubbed at his nose in disbelief before leaving in silence. You on the other hand had very conflicting feelings as you watched Thea be all smiles while she chatted with someone else in the water.

You knew what your sexuality was (so did Thea) and then you thought you knew all that this is to know about Thea Mays…better than anyone yet she pulled a stunt like this? To prove what exactly? You didn’t like being used and that was part of the conflicting feelings you were experiencing right now.

So you finished you drink and also found yourself getting into the pool, but at the opposite end.

~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

Continue along with my summer anthology prompts here.

[onyxheartbeat]

Dear HIM/Ville Valo fans,

this is a long post but I must discuss this.

________

I came across this interview of Kat Von D from a few days ago. Before I get into my thoughts, below is a passage from her old book “Go Big or Go Home” which you may or may not have read. She wrote about Ville:

________

“I only knew his music, and I loved it on first listen. It was dark and it was beautiful. It was metal and it was poetry. It was love loaded into a gun, and I wondered about the man behind the songs.  Two years later, our paths crossed, and like the majority of the connections I’ve made in life, tattooing brought us together. Through our first tattoo sessions, we began to get to know each other. For the next few years, I just thought of him as my friend from overseas, and that was all. Then, after knowing him for six years, something changed. It could have been the wine, the music, or the moon. Most likely it was just perfect timing. Just one kiss, and he changed my world. We were both sad back then, and lost. I was depressed, having finally ended a marriage that had been doomed from the beginning. I was also dealing with the pressures of filming a television show, which was totally new to me - and drinking my way blindly through it all. His story mirrored mine, and he had been feeling just as low. We had been waiting for something to happen, for someone or something to come along and save us from ourselves. And when it suddenly seemed that that someone was each other, it took us both by surprise. We shared darkness, and doing that bought light back into our somber worlds: for once, we didn’t feel alone.He’s the reason why I wanted to write music to begin with - and learn to sing. I remember the exact moment I made up my mind about making music. It was something I felt I needed to do, not for any reason other than a way to respond to him. It didn’t matter if the songs I’d write never saw the light of day, as long as he was able to listen to my music, my message to him. He had told me to look for a package at my door step, prefacing the delivery of the contents, his new album, saying, “These are all of the things that are easier sung than said.”I knew what he meant, but never imagined that each song would be filled with direct messages to me. I put the album on, and the music rushed out of the speakers and filled my house. His voice rang all around, making it’s way to the core of my heart with every word he sang. As cryptic as those lyrics may have been for anyone else, I knew exactly what each word meant and recognized every event and place he referred to. The songs were so beautiful, I just wished so badly that he could have said everything out loud just once to me. How should I respond to something like this? Where do I even start?The first time I saw him after I got sober, he was in town working on music. We sat in my office at the shop until the late hours of the night, talking and catching up about everything - music, home, art and work. Did we talk about love? No. We constantly danced around our past instead. What happened to us? I couldn’t find the courage to ask because I was scared of the answer I already knew. We decided to draw, with pencils and paper in front of us, we sat at opposite ends of the table. He pulled my three-minute timer from one of the nearby shelves, and placed it at the center of the table. He suggested we draw each other, and I was game. With a flip of the hourglass, the grains of sand moved from one vessel to the other, and we began.Sketching these timed portraits forced us to stare at each other, making it practically impossible to focus on the drawing itself. I had almost forgotten how beautiful his face was. He has a combination of eyes, lips, and a darkness to his looks that makes him look almost otherworldly. With him, I felt like I was at the center of an orderly, tranquil, magnificent universe. For those short three minutes, there were no questions about life or purpose. It was as if we never needed any more from each other than this.Like all people, I’ve suffered from love sickness and tasted the pain of love. The theatrical director of my mind, the one who staged all these versions of him and my life with him, seemed to be unaffected by reason. I was finding myself constantly day dreaming of the past.His eyes, his hands, his crooked smile - I’d ruminate over his features. Things he said. Things he did. Things he wrote. Things he drew. Things he sang. Over and over again, I’d sift through these images and memories as if they somehow contained the answer to my prayers. But I was living with a long-age memory of him; living so far away from the present moment.If we had spoken about what we were or what we thought we were, back when we got sober, I wouldn’t have been so confused, wandering what if, and writing the rest of our story in my mind. What did I expect? For him to magically not hear about me being in a relationship? And to not be bothered by it? If only he would have asked….. I would have….. If we could have only talked….. then things would be….. if we allowed ourselves to transform our fears of being open, vulnerable, then, I’d convince myself, we would be together. I realized that none of that mattered now. If I wanted to be free of this unrequited longing, I would have to make peace with the past and finally let it go. There was no way around it. But did I want to be free of it? - and him?I listened to one of his songs the other day. Out of all the songs he wrote on that album, this one was the most direct. He sings my name in the chorus. By the time the song is over, I’ve felt a range of emotions - I’m sad but happy, frustrated but calm. He sings about how I alone bring him to a place of stillness and peace within when we are together. What a victorious feeling - to enter into a place with him where no one else has been. To be able to bring goodness to and draw it out of someone. Those sweet thoughts were interrupted by  an e-mail from him. Impeccable timing as always. It’s just a short note, letting me now he’s somewhere out there, thinking of me. He ends the message by calling me “Star Face” - his pet name for me from long ago that no one else uses. At that moment, I loathe him for it. I loathe him because I love him. Sometimes it feels like it would be so much easier to walk away from this if he’d just tell me that he hates me, that he wants nothing to do with me. But instead he calls me “Star Face.” There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s not letting go, either.‘Ultimately, it is the desire, not the desired, that we love.’The silver plane hurtled over Newfoundland, over the Labrador sea. Someone told me I might see the northern lights as I fly east and north, but I wouldn’t have noticed as I was deep in writing the letter that I had already mentally composed long before I decided to make this trip to see him over New Year’s Day. I didn’t have to edit myself this time, I knew exactly what the letter would say.I reread the note to myself before sealing the envelope. Then I drew out the first letter of his name in pencil on the front. What a beautiful letter it was, probably my favorite out of the entire alphabet. A letter I was so used to writing myself. With ease the swirls and curves of each arch seemed to flow from my heart, my mind’s eye, drawn in and through my arms to my hands, releasing themselves onto the pale ivory paper envelope. My plane landed soon after.I had missed this country, I had missed him, too. I wondered how time had treated him ,for it had been a few years since I had last seen him. I wondered if I still had the ability to quiet his heart when he was feeling manic. He always said I had a way of doing that when I was near. And I wondered if he even needed me in that way anymore.When we met up, he looked just as beautiful as the day we saw each other for the first time, almost ten years before. And as if no time had passed, we started right where we left off - hours flew by in the comfort of each other’s presence. Talking. Catching up.He asked if I was getting sleepy, and my attempt at concealing the tiredness was transparent. I looked at the clock; maybe it was the jet lag or the clock hands pointing to midnight, but I knew it was time to say good-bye. Reluctantly, we both stood up and tried our best to part ways. As good as it felt to be near him again, I gave him the letter I had written letting him know that I was letting the nation of us go. He took the sealed envelope, and then I watched him walk away for what I assumed would be the last time.My heart didn’t belong locked up in a tower across the ocean from my home. It belonged in my chest, beating, living, feeling, sometimes hurting, but always loving. I deserved to be free, and understanding and needing that more than a dream, I was finally able to let him go.”

_________

Now, let me start by saying, I’ve never understood this and I still don’t. I’ve had that passage saved in my drafts for years because I keep almost anything pertaining to Ville. 

I’ve been a HIM fan since I was about 15 years old, and have followed Ville’s life and work closely. The friendship between them was always apparent to HIM fans in those days, because we saw her in photos with the band often. I used to watch Miami Ink and LA Ink as regularly as pretty much anyone in those days, and I remember when this particular passage of her book was brought to light, the HIM fan base read it and we all had our thoughts. We were all aware of Screamworks being written about Kat (it’s obvious in the lyrics of the album) even though Ville never specifically said Kat’s name when asked about it in interviews.

I remember being baffled back when we as HIM fans discovered this passage from the book. I couldn’t imagine not making that relationship work if it was true love. I’m a bit biased because I adore Ville and he’s like a dream to me, but I just couldn’t understand it. It seemed like she took the relationship for granted or she didn’t love him enough to make it work; but I digress. I get it; love and relationships are complex.

Still, flash forward to this recent interview (the screenshot), she says it was unrequited love, and I’m still not understanding it. Why release all the songs now? Why didn’t she make it work if it was true love? Who is she trying to say was the one not reciprocating (as the word “unrequited” suggests) in the relationship? I don’t understand any of it. More than anything, I’ve had so many questions that I wish I could ask Ville about it all because he only spoke briefly about it all, and it was always rather cryptic. 

I’m only writing this as a HIM fan, and because I love Ville and his lyrics on Screamworks so, so much (it’s an extremely underrated album in the HIM discography, in my opinion) so I’m letting any fellow HIM lovers know she wrote an album in response to it, in case you’re interested. I haven’t followed Kat or her work in many years, so I don’t know what to make of all this, but it’s always been extremely apparent to me when listening to Screamworks that a lot of heart went into it and even pain, not that his lyrics on other albums aren’t like that too, but I felt it more on Screamworks. I feel that Ville was the one who was truly heartbroken.

You all probably know from following my blog that I’m obsessed with love and unrequited love. Any romantic stories, bittersweet letters, heartbreak, longing etc. is just my favorite thing in the world so please excuse the long post, haha.

[captainimprobable]

Part 3 of that thing I’ve been posting.  This is a first draft, once it’s edited I’ll put it on Ao3.  There will be five parts! Part1  Part 2  ~~

Amity has a plan.

She knows her girlfriend likes meaningful gestures, especially when it’s about something important.  So as she signs her name at the bottom of the pink paper, she wills herself not to be nervous.  She’s doing everything right, she knows, and besides, it’s Luz.  Luz is understanding and generous.  She’ll love this. 

(Amity hopes.)

Walking to school the next day is torture, and she’s brought back to a similar morning a few months ago, when she was clutching paper from the same notebook she used today.  She didn’t go through with it then, but everything is different now.  Luz will say yes.

So why can’t she stop shaking?

She walks into the building and immediately spots Luz.  Her stomach flips itself over, as usual, and she nervously walks over to her girlfriend.   

“Amity! I missed you!”  Luz sees her and runs over, catching her up in a hug.  Amity tries not to swoon.  

“Luz, I saw you yesterday,” Amity says, smiling as she’s picked up and swayed a little.  

Luz pouts as she puts Amity down.  “Yeah, but that was a long time ago,” she mumbles.  She looks down at the ground, and her eyebrows scrunch together.

“Oh wait,” she says, stooping down and picking something up.  “You dropped this.”

It’s the pink paper.  Amity wants to die.  “WAIT,” she says loudly, startling a couple of other kids down the hall, “DON’T LOOK AT THAT.”

She grabs the paper and then stops.  Wait.  Things are different now. 

“Actually,” she says, with as much composure as she can muster after an outburst like that, “this is for you.”

She holds out the pink paper. And Luz. Takes it.

If Luz recognizes the type of paper the note is written on, she doesn’t mention it.  Amity is shaking as Luz opens the note, inspecting every single change in Luz’s face, anticipating a possible rejection. 

But instead, Luz’s face morphs into a huge smile, and she turns the paper over so Amity can see the words she’s written.

“Luz, will you go on a date with me?”  

 There’s color high in Luz’s cheeks as she asks “Really?”

“Of course really,” Amity scoffs, her entire body relaxing at Luz’s reaction. 

“Ohmygosh of course I will!!!!!  Where are we going? What are we doing? Can we-”

Amity holds up a hand to stop Luz’s train of thought.  “I have it all planned out,” she says proudly.  “All you have to do is show up.”

 Luz smiles, the crinkles at the corners of her eyes getting deeper as she does.  “Of course you do,” she says.  “I’ll be there!”

~

Amity had thought she was nervous yesterday, but that’s nothing compared to today.

 Edric and Emira are trying to help calm her down, but they’re somehow making it worse.  “I’m sure she’s gonna have a great time,” Ed says sincerely, nodding to himself.  “Unless….she doesn’t,” he adds.  

 Emira hits her twin on the arm.  “Ed, not helping,” she scolds, and puts her hands on Amity’s shoulders.  “First dates are scary, but this is Luz.  You could take her to the dump and she’d thank you.”

 “I’m terrified,” Amity confesses to her sister.  

 “Don’t be!”

 “Thanks, Em, suddenly I’m totally fine.”

 “Glad I could help,” Emira winks.  “Now go get your girl.”

~

It’s time for her date with Luz.  Well, actually, it’s an hour before her date with Luz, but she’s leaving now anyway because she likes to be punctual.  

 As it turns out, she doesn’t have a lot of time to be nervous, because when she opens the door to leave Blight Manor, Luz is standing there with flowers.

 “Hi,” Luz says excitedly, laughing a little at the look on Amity’s face.  “These are for you.  I got you purple ones because they match your hair!”

 “You’re early,” is all Amity manages to say.  She takes the flowers from Luz and their fingers touch.  Normally, this wouldn’t be such a big deal anymore, but knowing they’re about to go on an actual date makes everything feel a little different.  Amity tries not to jump.

 “Yeah,” Luz says, hands behind her back.  “But I know you, and I knew you’d be early, so here I am!”

 Suddenly Amity feels like crying.  Being known isn’t something she ever thought she would get to experience.  Being known this well was never even a thought.  She is so, so lucky.

 She blinks the tears away and manages to direct a smile at her girlfriend.  “Thanks,” she says.  “I love them.”

 Luz beams.  Amity still marvels over the way Luz’s expressions are so open and extreme.  She’s smiling with her entire body, somehow, exuding so much happiness just because Amity liked the flowers.  

 “So you have an idea?” Luz asks.  

 “Oh, yeah!” Amity says.  “I have the perfect plan.”

~

Amity watches Luz’s face stealthily out of the corner of her eye the entire way through Bonesborough.  They’re holding hands, and it feels like magic, but Amity is so nervous that Luz won’t enjoy what she’s planned that she can barely appreciate it.  Luz looks unbothered, though, swinging their hands between them happily as she chatters on about something King did earlier in the day.  Normally, Amity would be paying rapt attention, but today she’s a little too wound up.

 “Okay, here we are” Amity says nervously, watching  Luz’s face carefully for any sign of rejection.

 Luz looks up and gasps.  “A bookstore?????? I didn’t even know there was a bookstore here!”

 “Yeah,” Amity says shyly.  “I just thought...well, the first thing we really bonded over was Azura, so I figured maybe we could wander and…” She trails off.

 Luz is jumping up and down on the balls of her feet.  “Yes! I’ve always wanted to go on a bookstore date! I wonder what kind of weirdness a Boiling Isles bookstore has! Unless it’s just, like, a normal bookstore.  Which would be disappointing but still cool!”  She grins and pulls on Amity’s hand.  “Cmon, let’s go!”

~

It’s going well, she thinks.  Luz looks like she’s having fun as she pulls book after book off the shelf, commenting on them each before putting them back.

 “I’ve been wondering about the Azura books,” Luz says at one point.  “Like, how come we get them in the human realm and the Boiling Isles? How is that possible?”  Luz scratches her head.  “Maybe the author is from here and somehow managed to get their books to my realm? Maybe they’ve got a really good publicist? Or maybe they’re human and their books accidentally made it here somehow, like, maybe Eda brought one back one day and someone bought it and-”  Luz stops.  “Oh my gosh, Amity, do you think Eda is responsible for the circulation of the Azura books on the Boiling Isles???”

 Amity considers that.  

 “You know, I haven’t really met any other people who like these books,” she says.  “I always wondered why they weren’t more popular.”  Her eyes widen, realization dawning.  “What if I’m the only one? What if Eda sold them to the bookstore and I bought them and-”

 “Woah,” Luz says.  “That is some crazy coincidence.”

 “Well,” Amity says bravely.  “Guess it just means we were always meant to be.”

 She gets a bright red Luz as a reward for her nerve, and she smirks.  It’s fun to make Luz nervous.  Knowing she has that effect on her makes her so happy.  

 Luz doesn’t say anything, just reaches out a hand for Amity’s.  Amity gets it.  Sometimes holding Luz’s hand is the only thing that makes sense.

 “Oh no way,” comes a voice from behind them.  Amity’s heart sinks.  Oh no, not now, why now, why here, why-

 They turn around and Boscha comes into view, scrutinizing their linked hands.  “You’re actually dating the human.  Wow.  I thought that was a rumor, like, one so ridiculous it couldn’t even be true.”  She smirks.  “And yet here you are.”

 Amity can feel Luz stiffen next to her, and she’s suddenly filled with rage.  Luz escaped her world to avoid being made fun of, she shouldn’t have to deal with that here, too.

 Amity raises her chin and looks Boscha in the eye.  “Aw, what’s wrong, Boscha, jealous that nobody wants to hang out with you?”  She looks around pointedly.  “Looks like you’re alone, huh?  Has everyone finally realized what a monster you are?”

 Boscha’s face turns a shade of pink darker than her hair.  “I’m not alone,” she spits.  “I came here by myself on purpose.  It’s exhausting, having followers all the time.”

 “Sure,” Amity says, turning to leave.  “Come on Luz, let’s-”

 “Can’t believe she went and got a girlfriend from another species,” Amity hears Boscha mutter under her breath.  And then, a little louder, clearly intending to be heard- “Guess shopping at the bottom of the barrel is easier than finding someone normal.”

 Amity stops.  She’s gripping Luz’s hand so hard it’s probably starting to hurt a little, but she can’t help it.  Luz seems to sense the storm coming, and she scrambles to stop it.  “Amity, it’s okay, let’s just go-”

 But Amity is done.  Done with Boscha and her stupid games, done with everyone making fun of Luz for things she can’t control, done with her girlfriend being treated lesser than because she wasn’t born a witch.

 She releases Luz’s hand, whirls around, and says, quiet as the dead, “Say that again.”

 Boscha seems to realize she went a little too far this time, but she’s not one to back down.  “What are you gonna do, Amity? Hex me? You don’t have the-”

 Before she can finish her sentence, Amity’s fingers are twirling in circles and Boscha is on the ground, angry hives crawling up and down her body.

 A security guard comes over, looking bored.  He gives Boscha a glance, unimpressed.  “Miss,” he says to Amity.  “I’m gonna have to ask you to go.”

 “Don’t worry about it,” Amity says.  “We were just leaving.”

~

Amity thinks her hands might be clenched permanently, now.  The anger (coiling, rampant, hot to the touch) she’s feeling isn’t new, but it’s somehow louder now, a line of static in her ears so loud that she doesn’t hear Luz calling her name until the third time.

 “Amity!”

Amity blinks herself out of her stupor and remembers, suddenly: she’s supposed to be on a date.  A date with her cute girlfriend.  A date that she messed up by getting them kicked out of a store.

 She knew she’d mess this up somehow.

 “Amity, are you okay?”

 Luz is looking at her with concern in her eyes, and Amity doesn’t deserve it.  She doesn’t deserve any of this.  She’s ruined everything.

 “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, not looking Luz in the eye.  She’d understand if Luz dumped her over this.

 “For what?” Luz asks sincerely, and Amity looks up in confusion.  “Um, for ruining our date?”

 Luz raises her eyebrows.  “How exactly did you ruin it?”

 “I hexed Bosca, I got us kicked out of the bookstore, I-”

 “What I’m hearing,” Luz says, taking Amity’s hand again, “Is that you got angry on my behalf and defended me from a bully”

 “But I got us kicked out of the store!” Amity insists.  She feels like she owes it to Luz to admit what a screw up she is, but Luz isn’t having it.

 “No, Boscha got us kicked out of the store.  Besides, it’s no big deal, we were basically done anyway.”

 This isn’t right.  She knows she should be happy that Luz isn’t blaming her, but something inside her insists that Luz needs to know, that Luz needs to understand that Amity messed up and will probably mess up again, that she had everything planned out perfectly and it went nothing like it was supposed to and Luz should probably break up with her and-

 “Break up with you?????” Luz sounds scandalized, and Amity realizes: she said everything out loud.  

 “You think I would break up with you over this?”

 “I..I don’t know,” Amity says, closing her eyes as though that will make her disappear.  “Maybe.”

 “Amity, I-I don’t like you because you’re perfect.  You’re only human- I mean, you’re a person, and people make mistakes, and that’s okay! I make mistakes all the time! Just today I missed a step and fell down the stairs.  It happens!”

 She takes Amity’s other hand and looks her in the eyes.  “You’re perfect to me.  But not because you never mess up.  Because you’re kind, and funny, and beautiful, and you do things like hex bullies because they make fun of me.  I don’t need the perfect date, Amity.  I just need you.”

 Amity is speechless.  Nobody has ever said anything like that to her.  She remembers what she told Hunter in that cave all those months ago: I grew up thinking everything was an opportunity to justify existing.  But there are people out there who won’t make you feel worthless.  You just have to let yourself meet them.

 It’s time she took her own advice.

 “Thank you,” she says quietly, smiling shyly.  “You’re the best girlfriend a girl could ask for.”

 “No, you are!” Luz says earnestly, and Amity realizes that, if she had the courage, she could kiss Luz right then and there.

 She doesn’t, of course, but now that it’s in her head, she’s not going to forget about it anytime soon.

[real-fanta-sea]

Prompt for the kiss no. 71

Prompt: "Not to be cringe or anything, but I really like the idea of the kiss 71 (height difference kisses where one person has to bend down, and the other is on their tippy-toes)...where Trevor is his true height. i.e. Ogg's height and Michael has to stand on his tiptoes to snog him."

I'm sorry, anon, but I saved the post as a draft and it just vanished into thin connection. So, I have to answer this way.

This work is more of a spur of the moment thing, but I kinda like the way it turned out, being it just my emotions spilt onto paper. If you'd like, you can read it on AO3 here, or under read more. I hope you'll like it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)

tw: kissing, child abuse memories

It's been three weeks already.

An unhealthy greenish glow of flickering light tubes and the icy breath of an industrial refrigerator made him shiver as Michael, gliding on the orbit touching stars in his mind, put yet another box of ready-made microwave hamburgers into his shopping cart. If he were not a regular in this particular shop, he would have got lost. It resembled an anthill with seemingly infinite shelves and aisles, bursting with the merchandise, even though the depressed lights covered everything in the same shade of decay green. The same life outlook was shared with most of the shadows roaming around whose name tags qualified them as proud employees of Flormart.

It's been three weeks, and he still stuck around, hanging on his every word.

Michael pushed his cart further from frozen goods, and the pictures swirling and smearing all around transitioned from photoshopped vegetables to flashy fireworks of chips and other guilty pleasures he planned on indulging in later on. Some people would find the height of the shelves menacing, but to Michael, it was just a memory that pulled him from the orbit back to earth and placed him in the middle of a football pitch. The smell of sweat building up underneath his helmet. The crunch of the crisp lawn under his feet. The spotlight following him whenever he scored. Cheering faceless crowds in time with busty faceless girls' pompoms. But most of all, he felt happy again - needed, cherished, innocent, and with a bright future awaiting his embrace. But then, just as he crossed from the snacks aisle to the alcohol quarter, the football stadium lights flickered and turned bright red. All the faceless girls turned around, their mouths gaping as if someone dislocated their jaws, and the cheering turned into a hellish cry of pain. Where their eyes were supposed to be, he saw a flair, screwing itself deeper into their skull, and a stream of scarlet goo drip down on their immaculate white dresses.

It's been three weeks, and somehow, his puppy-like behaviour didn't irk him yet. Quite the opposite if he were honest with himself - he felt strangely peaceful in his company.

Michael gulped in a desperate attempt to wash down the horror that invited itself under cover of a happy memory. Shaking his head only did so much and dispersed the spectators and cheerleaders alike, in the same way shaking a snowy paperweight would. Michael's chest constricted as he felt unable to breathe in properly, people splatting and exploding upon impact all around him in his mind. Suddenly, he felt a pull under both of his shoulders and found himself flying towards the pitch-black sky, where instead of one moon, two shone down on him. As he flew closer, they shrunk into two amber irises - and Michael immediately knew who pulled him out of the memory. As he crashed into a mass of pink candy cotton clouds, his vision blurred just to clear up when he felt a solid surface under his feet and someones hot hands in his. Somehow, he found himself looking at the tips of abused old pair of sneakers he was wearing, the same pair Michael knew he wore that faithful day at the airstrip. A moment later, a couple of dark blue, equally run-down ones stepped into his field of vision. He slowly let his sight slide up on crumpled jeans, the hem of a military jacket, a pair of dog tags hanging around a slender neck, a sharp jaw, a pair of full dark lips and finally, to the pair of amber eyes, eyes that radiated worry, care and, at the same time, something he could only read as love and utmost devotion.

It's been three weeks since the incident, and anytime he woke up from a nightmare that played in his mind over and over again, he was there to soothe him; he was there waiting for Michael's tears to dampen his naked shoulder. He didn't bitch about it and didn't tell a soul in the morning.

Michael let out a shaky breath. Stopping his feet from casually continuing in their stroll proved harder than he thought, and he leaned on the shopping cart handle, running fingers through his hair. He couldn't decide what mortified him more - the creativity his brain proved to possess when playing out the horrible things he has witnessed in just a few years of his fresh adulthood, or the way it put his acquaintance on some fucking pedestal and presented him as the alpha and omega of his thoughts and desires.

"Hey Michael, are you ok?"

Speaking of the devil... "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just.." Michael breathed in again and turned towards the source of the voice, trying to display a small smile by twitching his tired lips "I need a smoke, that's all."

It's been three weeks, and he got that tingling feeling in his guts already. He could barely tolerate touch or prolonged eye contact without getting goosebumps and that ticklish feeling solidifying and slicing right into his groin. Michael wanted to believe it was just his weird head showing gratitude for saving his ass, but anytime he found himself in the company of that amber-eyed twink, the longing grew worse.

"Hey, how about a bottle of something to wash the cig down?" said the guy and his oversized jeans jacket hanging from his shoulders cringed into weird shapes as he took one of his hands out of his pocket and pointed his thumb towards the shelves. He looked so adorably dishevelled in all jeans, and with his silky hair framing his hopeful face, Michael couldn't have said no to anything he would suggest. Instead of mustering the strength to say no, Michael threw another smile towards his companion and turned his back to him to choose the dream crusher he wanted to numb them with before they went to bed.

To someone who grew up in a functional family, all the labels and bottle shapes would seem the same. To Michael, however, to choose the right brand and size meant the same as selecting the bananas or avocados of the proper ripeness would for them. It was a work of art; he learned so much in the ten years of living with his stepfather. While scrutinizing the shelves, index finger and thumb scrubbing on the sides of his chin absent-mindedly, he remembered how they would come to the similar shop together, he and his mother's second husband, and how he slipped behind the shelves. At the same time, Frank chatted with the clerk, and he stuffed his lunch box with a large flat bottle of Chief's Heritage Fire Water whiskey. He had to carefully close it to avoid disturbing the aluminium foil that served as a guard from the primitive electronic protection device they had to pass through on their way out. Michael would then tuck his stepfather's sleeve, babble some cute nonsense to get candy from the unsuspicious clerk, and after they paid for the two packs of cigarettes and a beer, they would leave. Frank would let him chug on whiskey then, and if he were in an exceptionally good mood, he would let him sleep through the night without beating the shit out of him.

Finally, spotting the whiskey he knew so well on one of the top shelves, Michael attempted to grasp it but only managed to graze his fingertips against the bottom of one of the bottles that rocked gently upon touch but otherwise didn't move an inch. "Fuck", he uttered under his breath, cracked his neck and stretched onto the tips of his toes, steadying himself by holding onto one of the lower shelves. But, again, he could only touch the bottle but not get a good hold of it. He even contemplated climbing the shelves to get it, as if the shame of his disappointing height haven't already painted his cheeks bright red and didn't make him want to leave the shop right away. Just as he braced himself for the climb, eyes fixed on that damn bottle, a gentle touch of someone's hand squeezing his shoulder made him turn around. It was Trevor's hand, and even though Michael still had to look up to meet his eyes, the small sympathetic smile put him in ease in a blink of an eye.

"Chief's, huh? Good choice, Mike!" the praise in his voice made Michael shiver, and he desperately tried to ignore the warmth he was receiving through the palm still steady on his shoulder and which upset his heart into beating twice as fast as ever before. "My old man used to drink this. It tastes like cat piss but knocks you out good for the buck." Trevor's grin felt like a warm touch sunrise after countless years of freezing darkness. Michael couldn't help but soak in the warmth, allowing himself to lose himself in the feeling completely. "Let me get it for you, eh?" he heard Trevor say from somewhere near, and before he could object, most of the light was obstructed by a jeans-clad chest.

It was then when Michael closed his eyes and tried to get hold of the situation. Trevor, the guy he only knew for three weeks, pushing Michael's back onto the shelves as he leaned for the bottle but also pushing his chest almost to Michael's. If it weren't for a couple of inches of hot air and fabric between them, their bodies would brush against each other. Michael could only gulp when he opened his eyes again, and his mind provided him with the maddening picture of Trevor's naked lean chest, peppered with dark brown hair as if puberty marked its way down towards his groin with it. Michael's head was spinning when he looked up to see Trevor still busy fetching the bottle. Michael's racing imagination saw him grabbing the guy's head, crashing lips with his and dissolving into what he thought would be the best kiss he would ever receive. Michael gulped again. He had to have him.

He was anxious about the way it was too easy to raise both his hands and grab fists full of other man's jacket as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Michael didn't fight it when he felt his muscles pull on the fabric and only turned his gaze up to where he expected Trevor's eyes to look once he would feel the movement of his clothes. Michael didn't have to wait for it at all, actually; the puzzled expression was already waiting for him to drink it up. However, he couldn't maintain the contact for too long as his eyes focused on something completely different; the dark lips, deliciously parted in the unspoken question. The distance between his own and them unnerved him, and in the sparking silence, Michael again propped himself onto the tips of his toes, pressed harder on the fabric to steady himself and, closing eyes, pressed his lips to Trevor's.

For a delicious moment, the world fell apart as if some invisible force made the dimensions crash down. The trembling soft firmness against his lips sent shivers down his spine with each cautious move. Whenever Michael recalled the moment years later, he could always sense the faint smell of cigarettes, petrol and sun mixing between their bodies and the way the ground shook and cried under his feet when he felt Trevor's palms slide down his sides and pull him closer, effectively sweeping him off his feet.

Trevor seemed to be relishing at the moment as much as Michael was, but when he felt solid ground under his feet again, and the pair of arms letting go of him, Michael reluctantly broke the kiss with a coquettish wet pop and tried to catch his lost breath. Then, leaning against the shelves again, he only dared to peek up when his cheeks stopped burning from what felt like a mixture of acid and a marathon run. Trevor's face might as well have been a mirror, for he looked down on Michael with eyes wide, face red and lips wet and trembling as if he didn't get a grasp of reality yet. Michael couldn't help but let the anxiety scream right to his face in the voice of his stepfather - and there were thousands of things he might have ruined then and there, just because he didn't fight his stupid queer side, because he let himself kiss another man, because by the twisted chain of mistakes he fell from what could have been a good life to longing after a rabid smuggler in the middle of a liquor aisle.

Just as he was about to duck under Trevor's arm and run away from the voice and feelings of shame it brought about, he was stopped by a gentle, almost shy touch of a hot palm on his cheek. The slender fingers brushed against his face in such a delicate way Michael's heart skipped a beat, and closing his eyes, he leaned into the touch, seeking the soothing silence it brought with the warmth. The hand fit his cheek like a glove, Michael mused as he relaxed into slow movements of fingertips on his temples. Right there, at that moment, everything felt so right, so natural. Why has he deprived himself of the delicious heat for three weeks when somewhere deep inside, where the beating of his heart always gave away the truth, he knew he needed it from the start - well, Michael didn't know. Instead, he slid his arms around Trevor's waist and buried his face into his chest.

"Michael?"

The vibrating echo of his name, spoken in such a husky yet caring way, made Michael squeeze his arms around Trevor even tighter. He sought the last bits and pieces of it before he dared to speak up himself, afraid of spoiling the delicious contentment of the moment.

"Let's get out of here."

A gentle kiss on top of his head and long arms lacing his shoulders later, Michael found himself too far from Trevor for comfort. But even with the newly gained distance between them, a quick glance sideways has provided him with a sight of a beaming smile and a fire deep inside Trevor's eyes that made his own lips twitch into a happy upwards bow. As they rolled into the checkout, Michael has noticed the world has changed as well. The depressing shade of green has somehow transitioned into a welcoming warm white; the shadows that they passed by on their way in suddenly bloomed into happy faces. The various packings of goods exploded in all the colours of the rainbow. As Michael and Trevor emerged into the darkness of the parking lot, ready to relive their revelation in thousands of ways, Michael has felt at peace with himself for the first time in forever. The days of the inner night were over.

[onceuponaloonatic]

i found this old misamo draft and just felt like sharing since it's so adorable. i edited it a bit to reflect my current writing style !! sorry i've been gone, classes started again and it's been a little overwhelming. i try to work on stuff when i can and have some stuff in the works, so i'll try to get them out soon !! also my inbox is empty again so if you have any lingering ideas i'm happy to listen to them. i may not post much but i do lurk around here a lot. love you guys !!

Mina didn’t know how long she had been there.

Sana and Momo were fast asleep behind her, both of them had passed out the minute they realized they finally had a little bit of time to sleep. Mina had tried to join them at first, but despite her exhaustion, she just couldn’t sleep. Not with the tiny little bundle that had recently taken up residence in their bedroom.

Being a parent was weird, Mina was coming to realize. Before, it had just been her, Sana, and Momo. They had created their own little world, their own perfect life in France. Their careers had been fun while they lasted, even if there were times Mina hated her job more than anything. There were days it was so hard, she was surprised she was able to convince people her smile was real. Days she was surprised she was able to get out of bed. Surprised she was able to keep going, keep performing. There was a period she couldn’t even remember any of her stages, she would just be in the dressing room one minute and suddenly she was in the van pushed up against Jeongyeon or Jihyo and everyone was telling her how good their performance was. Even with all of this though, Mina was happy with her job at the end of the day. She met Sana and Momo. She got to shine as bright as had desired when she was too young to even imagine the life she would have later. She got to see the world, she got to put smiles on people’s faces, and she got to be a role model for people all over the world.

Mina had thought she would be sadder when twice ended. But she didn’t really felt sad. She didn’t really feel anything. They had all known it was coming, and it felt right. They had a good run, but it was time for them all to move on with their lives. For Mina to move on, with the loves of her life.

All their friends were sad when they moved to France, but it felt right. East Asia would always remind them of their careers, retirement couldn’t erase ten years of being the nation’s girl group. They knew if they wanted to start this next chapter of their lives, they had to go somewhere far away. All three of them had moved to another country before, and honestly, France just felt like the right place for them to start their new lives as retired people. Sana laughed when she called them that, saying thirty-three was too young to be retired. But that’s what they were, retired.

It was nice living with just Sana and Momo. Life was a lot simpler now, but Mina loved it. She didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing or wearing the wrong outfit or her face was bloated. All she had to worry about now was what day to go grocery shopping and if she had hung the laundry up yet. Yes, being an idol was great, but this was great too. In a completely different way.

Mina had been happy with just Sana and Momo, but she also didn’t hate the idea of having a kid. It seemed interesting, and she had always thought about what it would be like to be a mom. Sana and Momo were more outwardly excited, but Mina couldn’t help the mounting internal excitement when they found out they were going to be moms. And now that their baby was actually here, Mina couldn’t help herself from being obsessed with her.

When Momo and Sana fell asleep, Nico was fast asleep too. Sana had just fed her and Nico had fallen asleep on Momo’s chest while Momo swayed her gently. Mina knew from experience that was enough to put anyone to sleep, it was one of the comfiest places on earth. However, just like it had been in the past twenty-four hours since Nico came home, she was awake not long after falling asleep. Mina had been watching her when she woke up. Mina liked watching Nico. She liked memorizing her baby’s features. She always took notes on all the pieces of Sana she saw in Nico. All the pieces of Momo. It was weird, Nico wasn’t biologically related to Mina at all, but she also couldn’t help but see little pieces of herself in Nico too.

When Nico woke up, she didn’t cry. Maybe it’s because she knew Mina was right there, or maybe she just didn’t need anything, but she stayed quiet in her crib. She made eye contact with Mina before yawning and squirming a little. Mina expected her to cry, but she didn’t. Instead, she and Mina started a small staring contest. It wasn’t awkward though, it somehow felt right. Like Mina’s life had been leading up to this moment. It was weird, that something so simple made her feel so happy. Being a parent was weird.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like this, but eventually, her moment was interrupted by the annoying buzz of her phone in her pocket.

She didn’t want to leave Nico, so she picked her up as gently as possible and carried her to the living room. She made sure Nico was comfy against her chest before she answered her phone.

“I knew you would be awake.” Nayeon’s teasing voice came through the phone.

“I could have been asleep.” Mina nodded, drawing small shapes on the back of Nico’s back.

“You're not. You are with her, aren’t you?” Mina nodded, panning the camera down to show Nico on her chest.

“Want to meet her?” Mina smiled. They had been away from their phones all day, wanting to spend every spare second with Nico now that she was home. This meant their friends hadn’t been able to see Nico, in video chat or in photo form.

“I met her when she was born.” Nayeon giggled. “But, that was two months ago, so I’ll meet her again.”

“Okay.” Mina couldn’t wipe the smile from her face if she wanted to. She moved Nico so she was facing the camera, her body being supported by Min. “Nico-ya, this is Auntie Nayeon. She’s your godmother.” Nico made a little noise as she got some spit on her face. Mina laughed, grabbing a spit rag for Nico and kissing her hair. “I think that means she likes you.”

“Hi, sweetheart. I like you too.” Nayeon had tears in her eyes. She had always gotten emotional around babies, but especially any of the twice-member’s kids. Jeongyeon had always teased her relentlessly for it. “It’s nice to finally see you at home.”

“We are happy to have her here. Sana was going a little crazy and Momo has a talent for encouraging her. Everything is okay now though.” Mina took one of Nico’s hands and squeezed it.

“I’m sure it drove all of you crazy. You should have seen Jihyo with Eunmi. She only had a three-week stay and she drove her husband and me absolutely crazy. She vicariously lived through Hyemi to deal with her Eunmi issues. It was kind of nice at first to have someone to take care of her, but it got too much pretty fast.” Nayeon giggled. “Speaking of Hyo, she told me to tell you to text her. She and I were planning on coming out to see Nico soon.”

“Oh, it’s okay. We know you guys are busy.”

“Nah, we both need some time away, especially Hyo. Have you talked to Chae and Tzu yet?”

“They actually have some big trips coming up. But they said they do want to come to see Nico soon. They want to stay for a while.” Mina explained, adjusting Nico in her lap.

“They are both so in love with Nico. It’s sweet.” Nayeon laughed at the thought. “I know they are both pretty against having their own kids, so it’s cute they are latching onto Nico as hard as they have been.”

“Yeah, they’ve never really been like this before. But she got that from Sana, everyone loves her.” Mina had thought about this before. Sana was born to be loved. Her being an idol was like fate. Everyone loved her, and the people who didn’t were either jealous or spiteful. And even then, Sana even loved people like that back. Sana’s heart was so good, she always tried to love people before anything else. Mina had always adored that about her.

“I love her more than I love Sana.” Nayeon shrugged.

“I’ll be sure to tell her that when she wakes up.” Mina giggled. “I’m sure it will make her day.”

“Wait no please don’t do that. I used to live with Sana, I know she will leave me like ten voicemails complaining I don’t love her.” Mina couldn’t help but giggle at the whine in Nayeon’s voice.

“Nope, you said it. Can’t take it back now.” Mina continued laughing until she heard some shuffling around behind her. She turned and found Momo coming towards her with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and her eyes half-closed. “Hello.”

“Mitang.” Momo whined as a response, plopping herself down next to Mina.

“Is that Momo?” Nayeon asked.

“Hi Nayeon-Unnie.” Momo greeted before pressing her face into Mina’s shoulder. “Mitang it’s sleepy time.”

“You were asleep, why did you wake up?” Mina giggled, brushing Momo’s hair out of her face.

“Sana kicked me.” Momo whined. “And it felt too cold.”

“You had Sana and two blankets.” Mina nodded.

“Sana is too warm,” Momo muttered. “Mitang is the perfect temperature.”

“So Sana is too warm, but I’m the perfect temperature?” Mina giggled. “Anyway, We’ll be up in a minute, so go ahead and go back to bed.”

“I’ll wait.” Momo nodded, kissing Mina’s shoulder and laying a hand onto Nico’s back.

“It’s like three am over there, if you guys are tired you really should go to bed. Nico’s awake but she’s quite and honestly with newborns that’s the best your going to get.” Nayeon looked at the two with a fond smile. One that could only come about from watching a romance blossom between some of her favorite people. ‘Besides, she can’t sleep if Mina is fussing over her too much.”

“She has a point.” Momo muttered into Mina’s shoulder.

“Okay.” Mina couldn’t help her heart from fluttering at the little kisses Momo left along her shoulder. When she was younger, they might have been hot, and definitely something she wouldn't let anyone else see. But now they just felt comforting. She knew Momo loved her.

“Have a good day Unnie.” Momo greeted from her spot on Mina's shoulder.

“Nico-ya be good. I’ll see you soon my love.” Nayeon blew kisses at the camera.

“None for us?” Momo whined.

“Nope. Bye Nico!” Nayeon waved as she hung up. Mina rolled her eyes and looked down at Nico, who was already half asleep.

“Looks like someone’s ready for bed.” Mina giggled.

“Can't blame me. I was fast asleep with my Mitang.” Momo pouted.

“Not you.” Mina giggled. “Our lives don't revolve around us anymore.”

No.” Mina felt Momo’s smile without having to look at her. “And are you okay with that?”

“I’m more than okay with it.” Mina nodded. “I love it.”

[sylvie-writes]

𝐀𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐦 ✯ 𝐒. 𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

word count: 4,000

pairing: steve rogers x female reader

summary: If one had to live the same day over and over again, it would be most sensible of them to choose the best one. Well unfortunately for you, you didn’t get a choice.

warnings: angst

a/n: this was the one-shot i had posted a preview of and i apologize for taking so long to post it. i couldn’t decide how to end it so then i took a poll and it was a fluffy ending, which helped me a bit! thanks! btw sorry if the formatting looks weird. on my computer it looks weird, but on my phone it looks normal so idk. 

please excuse any mistakes!

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

For the first time in years, you awoke to notice the light of the sun and how it ever so brightly twinkled. The sun had never actually disappeared, but today you had actually taken the time to notice it in all of its glory. Just the mere sight brought a bittersweet smile to your face, along with the feeling of delight, something you had missed so dearly during the dark period of time that had finally ended yesterday. Half of the world had disappeared for what seemed forever and with that no longer looming over your head, you could actually live and enjoy life for what it is. It may sound cliche, but the sun did seem brighter to you now, and the world a happier place after being reset. Last night, you had watched the news and for the first time in forever, it was enjoyable. On the screen, images of people reuniting along with many others sending words of thanks to your crew mates turned family, the Avengers. 

Today, you were mostly relishing in the peace, but just a small bit of worry settled in your stomach as Steve was returning the stones back to their normal timelines. No matter how many times Sam offered to go with him, the stubborn man refused, still ready to take the risk on his own. Times like these made you miss Nat even more as she was probably the only person, aside from you, to be able to talk Steve out of anything. Instead of continuing to dwell on the matter that was out of your hands, you turned away from the sunny window and to your left. The sound of your shuffling in the sheets must’ve awoken the man beside you as his grip tightened its hold on your waist. He pulled you closer into his chest and then wrapped two arms around you, forming a warm and inviting hug. After some sleepy groaning, lips met the top of your head which you could only tell by feeling since your face was currently being squished into the man. 

“Good Morning, gorgeous. What time is it?” Steve picked his chin up from the top of your head, peering over to your nightstand where the clock sat. As he did so, he noticed you were squeezing your eyes shut and murmuring some silent “no’s” and “it’s not time yet.” 

He chuckled at your defiance and then unwrapped his arms so he could lean back and instead run his fingers through your hair. “I hate to break it to you, but we have to meet the rest of the team in an hour.” 

Turning onto your stomach, you threw your face into Steve’s pillow while also ignoring his annoying bright smile as if he was entertained. “Ugh, can’t they just wait. It’s not like the stones have suddenly grown feet and are gonna run away.”

“Hon, you’ve left me no choice.” 

It got freakishly quiet and next thing you knew, Steve had thrown back the sheets and thrown you over his shoulder.

“Steve! I was just about to get up!!” You quickly sat up to face the blonde and not his backside which caused him to somehow gently rotate you in a way that you were now being held bridal style. Steve simply shrugged and kissed your forehead before heading to the bathroom to start the shower, you still in his arms.

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

It was only supposed to be seconds. 

And as of now, it has been at least a minute.

All hell's breaking loose at the moment. Bucky, feet glued to the ground, looks around as if Steve is gonna magically appear and Sam is worriedly questioning Bruce who is anxiously messing with the buttons of his controls. On the other hand, you are still staring at the platform, the traffic in your mind finally halting which ultimately caused you to drop to the floor in shock. As you were out cold on the ground, Sam looked over for a split second and luckily caught you in his sight. 

About fifteen minutes later, you woke up in the infirmary. You looked to your right where Bruce was standing with a water while Bucky and Sam waved at you from the nearby seats. Your first reaction was anger as you saw the three here and not working on getting Steve back who was currently nowhere in sight. Rejecting the bottle, you sat up straight. With fire in your eyes, you stared at Bruce, “Where is he?”

The gentle giant just shook his head, urging you to drink more water. Immediately, you ripped the i.v tube from your arm, ignoring the slight burn and then the draft from the paper gown that clothed your body. Just as you made it to the door, both Sam and Bucky held out their hands, stopping you from exiting. 

“Woah woah, missy. Where do you think you are going?”

Bucky slowly reached out to place a hand on your waist in a way to make sure that you wouldn’t run off while Sam distracted you further. 

“To find Steve.”

Sam sucked in a harsh breath and folded his arms over his chest. “(y/n). We all care about both you and Steve very much-”

“If you did care, then you’d be out there looking for him!” Your emotions had finally bubbled over and now resentful tears were starting to emerge. 

“Think about what you just said because it doesn’t make sense! We are just as worried as you are and we’ve done everything, and I mean everything, we can. He’s gone.” Sam’s eyes softened and he put a hand on your shoulder, “Please get some rest. There’s nothing else to be done.” The stubbornness started to subside and in turn, reality seeped into your mind. You then looked to Bucky, seeing that he was looking at you the same way as Sam.

“Sam and I will be on the lookout. I promise (y/n). Steve wouldn’t want you up right now and you know that.” 

With a childlike huff you turned back towards the bed as the two men ushered you to it. 

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

Hours must have passed because next thing you knew it was morning again and you were back in your own bed. It was somewhat shocking as you felt as good as new, possibly even better than you’ve felt before. As you finally awoke, you felt something heavy on your waist and looking down, you noticed an arm slung around your torso. You blinked a few times to make sure it was real and your mind then ran to the most sensible conclusion.

Whispering, you stared at the hand as if it was foreign, “Bucky?”

Suddenly a voice replied in all of its deepend glory, “Sorry, doll, but it’s Steve.” 

The hand then moved and you heard sheets shuffling as Steve turned onto his back to stretch his arms with an overdramatic yawn.

You shot up faster than an eager student’s hand. With a soft gasp you brought a hand to your lips. It couldn’t be…

“W-When did-d you get back?” It was quiet, but Steve’s enhanced hearing picked it up just as he had done so a few seconds before.

“What do you mean?” He looked at you with pure confusion. 

“You returned the time stones. Yesterday… And you never came back.”

Dark blonde eyebrows creased together and a hand made its way to your forehead. “(y/n), you are worrying me. We aren’t returning the stones until today. Are you okay? What did you eat last night?”

Before Steve could mother goose anymore, you clumsily shuffled out of the bed, but not removing eye contact from the man. “I’ll-I’ll be right back.” 

You slipped on shoes, apparently mismatched ones, but you were too anxious to care. In a millisecond, the bedroom door was shut. You, running out like you were fearing for your life and Steve on the other side, concerned and confused.

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

“GUYS, THEY ARE REAL! WE ARE GONNA NEED TO GO INTO LOCKDOWN!”

Running into the kitchen like a madwoman, you screamed the words you believed to be true. The innocent bystanders, Scott and Wanda, were currently gathering the rest of their things, while Bruce stood in the kitchen making breakfast. Everyone had been ready to go off onto their own paths after the events of yesterday (including Tony’s funeral), but currently you thought you held some mind-blowing information that would stop time, so to say.

“(y/n) what’s happening?” Wanda threw down her box and rushed to your side as you were already talking a mile a minute. None of them could understand a single word for it sounded like absolute gibberish. 

“There is a shapeshifter in my room. You know, those things Carol talked about! I thought she was bullshitting us, but the Skrulls or whatever are real. What are we gonna do? I know there are some th-” 

“Darling, what are you going on about? There’s nothing in our room, I just came from there. You’ve been acting weird all morning.” Entering the common area, Steve leaned up against the doorway before beginning to approach your shaking form.

Absolute horror in your eyes, you looked at Steve in terror as he now tenderly held your wrists in his hands.

“It’s you.”

He titled his head like a confused puppy while the rest of the onlookers stood by. You weren’t sure what to say for if you said “it’s him,” that would be equivalent to standing in a bank robbery and calling the cops right in front of the shooter. Rather you went with what you thought was smart and uttered Wanda’s name. 

It took her a second, but she looked as if she had caught on once having invaded your thoughts. Although, your hope was lost when she ended up mirroring Steve’s perplexed look. 

Taking matters into your own hands (quite literally,) you roughly shook your hands free from Steve’s loving hold and walked over to the nearby side table, discreetly eying the lamp. From first glance, it looked to the team members as if you were simply going to turn on the light, but all of a sudden, the lamp was in your hands and ready to launch at Steve. A mixture of “stops” and gasps sounded when it flew in the air. The team was quick to act, but it all happened in slow-motion for you. 

The lamp froze in the air with a red aura surrounding it thanks to Wanda while Steve tossed himself at you to avoid the incoming object. Of course, by doing so he rolled to make sure not to crush you while making impact with the ground. Once everything stopped, the lamp was returned to its place and your teammates started to slowly approach, you went to stand up, but Steve’s grasp stopped you. In fact, he flipped you over so your back was now on the carpet, an aggravated blonde now hanging over your body. His hands were pinning down your once flailing arms and his eyes burned into your own.

“(y/n). Tell me what is going on. Now.” Rarely did Steve ever use this tone with you. Actually, he’s never used it with you. It also occurred to you that you probably looked a bit insane to your friends and boyfriend, so you figured it was time to come clean. If they thought you were deranged, then oh well. What else was there to do?

“If you aren’t a shapeshifter then what’s happening!?!” 

You reached out to grab the fistfuls of his shirt before beginning to cry quietly. Steve could sense you were really upset over whatever this is because you were never one to act in such an irrational way. At this point, Bruce, Wanda and Scott stood by, concerned for you and the current situation. Steve leisurely leaned down, pressing a comforting kiss to your temple before hovering by your ear. 

“What is wrong, my love? Tell me so I can help you.”

Stopping the tears, you peered up at the man who you trusted your life with. So far, you had managed to convince yourself that this was really your Steve, but that only left one conclusion, yet you didn’t want to believe it.  Not yet anyway.

“Steve, you disappeared...yesterday. I can remember it all, I swear.” Your voice died down as you thought of a way to convince them. “Bruce, tell them, you were there too! Please, I’ve already lived this day.”

Chiming in from the back was Bruce, “What day do you think it is then?”

You replied the date at which Wanda told you that it wasn’t, but rather that it was the day before. 

Steve had loosened his hold on you at this point and you managed to scoot up and lean up back against the side table. 

“So then what does that mean? I’m living the same day… over again?”

Everyone started to nod in acceptance like they were welcoming the idea and you just suddenly burst out, hysterically laughing at the ridiculousness.“Well that’s just great, guys!  I’ve lost my damn mind. It’s okay you all don’t have to play along, just ship me away already, will y’a?” 

“I’ve gone off the rails, Steven. How do you even put up with this!?” You motioned to yourself in disgust and Steve laughed, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, I’ve seen a lot, especially these last five years, so this doesn’t even sound remotely crazy.”

Scott moved closer to reassure you. “No, (y/n), you haven’t! This is entirely possible. believe it or not. In simplest terms, it’s like that movie,” The man paused to think before shining a boastful smile at you, “Groundhog’s Day. You know, the one with Bill Murray.”

Bruce piped up from his distant spot in the kitchen, “Not another movie, Scott! We’ve already discussed this, just because it was in a movie, doesn’t make it true.”

“Hey, don’t knock it till you try it. That IS how we found time travel after all. Thank god my parents let me watch Back to the Future or else-” 

The doctor looked at Scott with a face that practically screamed “fair enough and please just shut up,” which the rambling man took note of as he quickly piped down. (You took note of this situation and for future reference remembered not to ask them this question for the rest of the time you’d live this day.)

From there, you and the team spent the rest of the time trying to figure whatever it is before Steve had to leave with the stones. You only hoped that night everything would be normal or that this was really just a bad and very vivid dream. 

An extremely bad one.

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

Unfortunately, you awoke the next morning in the same position that you’d love to be in any other day, which was Steve’s arm cocooning you. 

Starting from today on and for the next ten days or so, you’d approach the day as such. 

In the morning, you’d try your hardest to convince Steve to not leave. 

He’d ask you why and you’d come up with some bullshit excuse, different from the day before, along with some puppy eyes that the man would just laugh at. As you pouted, he’d kiss your sulking lips and murmur “you’re so silly, doll.” 

No matter how many times you tried to convince him, he ironically always said that exact phrase in return.

Needless to say it was a bit annoying and you were tired of living the same day over and over again. Steve would never not do something for the world unless it meant hurting you. If only he knew that this simple act was like driving a knife straight through your heart. 

You tried to keep count of the amount of days on a piece of paper, but soon discovered that would be useless by day two since it just disappeared into thin air. 

Of all the days to relive, it just had to be the one where Steve vanished. Yet, no matter how many times you live that day, a pit of angst always settled in your stomach even though you knew what was to come later on that day. It was absolute torture seeing the love of your life perish  before you and you couldn’t do anything to change it. Sometimes at night, while you laid alone, you’d wonder why of all the days that it had to be this one. What had you done to piss off the universe so bad?

Finally, by what you assumed was day eight, you just accepted your fate and decided to just have some fun with it. If you were gonna have to suffer, you might as well make something out of the day. Granted you were gonna solve cancer or help homelessness because your efforts would be reset the “next” day. 

As the team prepared for Steve’s departure, you’d be out eating tons and tons of your favorite meals knowing that it wouldn’t affect you tomorrow. One day you even spontaneously caught a plane to some country you’d never even visited and just blew an unfathomable amount of money. On other days, you had also invested time and money into getting your hair done into impossible and whacky styles while simultaneously regretting not having painted your nails the day before. It was stupid to worry about or even bring up, but they were constantly chipped and it was aggravating to look at as you foolishly sped through the city in an expensive car that wouldn’t be yours tomorrow. 

What you were doing was absolutely careless, reckless and just downright out of character for anyone, especially you. Yet when you knew it all wouldn’t matter tomorrow, you carried on with your disregard for the world. Numb from the pain you were just trying to feel something. 

When it finally came time for Steve to leave, you’d bid him goodbye and when he vanished, you would see Sam, Bucky, and Bruce’s shocked expressions for what felt like the thousandth time. Honestly, you knew they wouldn’t remember and instead you’d just walk away, trying your best to not let your emotions jump out once more. You figured that after the tenth day, you were just desensitized and that you should be unaffected by now, when in reality you were still hurting. At this point, even though you got to spend time with Steve, your hours hurting outweighed your hours enjoying life. 

There was no use in any longer faking to yourself. The logic of “what you think is what you become,” wasn’t helping so you instead swallowed the bitter pill of reality and moved on. For real this time. 

You had finally come to accept that Steve was gonna be gone and no one knew when he’d come back, but you knew one thing.

The pain of constantly seeing him disappear, knowing there was nothing you could say or do to stop him because boy did you try, was much more profound than that of the pain you felt when he was just gone. There was more hope for him to return that way than not moving on at all. 

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

Somehow, by doing so and accepting the truth, the universe reset that night. 

You woke up and Steve wasn’t there.

For having lived the same day on repeat for at least 3 weeks time, you knew with absolute certainty that he was gonna be there. 

These people you’d been living were practically programmed with a script so there was surely no way anything could change unless…

“Hey (y/n) glad to see you are awake. We have some good news.” 

At that moment Sam popped his head in from the hallway and you couldn’t keep a smile at bay. 

It was finally a new day.

The man gave you a confused look, but was happy nonetheless to see you. 

“Wow, you seem pretty chipper for someone who has been through a lot in the past few hours. You good?” Sam came to your bedside and gave you a blueberry muffin wrapped in a thin napkin. It was hard to come by muffins in the compound, let alone breakfast at all, and you felt a ping of joy when you noticed that Sam remembered your favorite snack. He’d always have your back whether it was a muffin or a bullet. 

“It’s nothing. I am just happy that today is a new day and I can start with a clean slate.” Taking a bite into the muffin, you relished in the fresh and spongy cake while your conscience scolded you for not indulging in these during your everlasting day from hell. 

“I don’t know what’s gotten to you, but I am loving the cringe-worthy optimism. Speaking of which, I have something to add to that.” You ignored the subtle dig at your newfound look on life and rather keened in on the last half of his words. 

“Did you-” Tears started to brim your eyes. Happy ones. Soon your muffin was long forgotten as you threw off the covers and stood from the bed. Sam was quick to stand as well, steadying you when your sheets got tangled at your feet and you spun a bit. 

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

There he was. 

Your Steve was standing before you with a look of adoration on his face while his arms were wide open, beckoning you to him. 

“How?” A gasp of question fell from your lips and at this point you were sure your body and mind were gonna explode from this extra case of surprise, as if you hadn’t been through enough of that. It was astronomical that you could even feel that emotion at this point. 

“Scott discovered that we somehow ripped time?” You furrowed your brows and Steve continued on. “ When you all sent me back to return, I guess it was a bit miscalculated.” 

So it wasn’t all a dream? Could it really be that you had lived the same day on repeat? It was like someone had accidentally hit the repeat button for a song one too many times, but instead of a song, it was your life?

“Now I am not good with all the technical things, but apparently it stopped time in a way. Dr. Banner even said that it could have caused for some to experience some type of repetitive time abnormality!” Steve chuckled, not understanding a single word that he was saying to you. It was like a foreign language to him. He blamed it on being from a time where technology barely existed, but you and the rest of the team were quick to reassure him that it was confusing for all. 

“Oh, if only you all knew.” Wrapping your arms around Steve’s slim waist, you nestled your face into his chest, inhaling his cologne and embracing his warmth. Steve placed his lips on the crown on your head and you two stayed that way for an eternity,

One day maybe you’d tell them the story, but for now you were gonna relish in the time you had with Steve. If you had learned anything from your experience, it was that time was a tricky thing and that you shouldn’t hold a grudge as life did on you for that day. You will never make any progress if you do. Live in the moment and roll with the punches life throws in your direction. 

taglist: @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight @patzammit @iwik3it

[miraculouspenta]

A Cat's Falling From the Sky?!

Day 15 & 27

@daminette-december2019-2020

Masterlist

Warning, contains bad parents Tom and Sabine

Loss, Failure, and falling were all that was in Marinette's thoughts. Loss, she had to count her losses all because no one believed her. Because she wasn't good enough. Failure, she had failed to show people the truth because she was blind. Because she was naive. And falling, she was falling, both literally and figuratively. Figuratively because she was losing a battle inside her. A battle whether she was worthy of the miraculous or not. Literally, because she was falling. Using the cat miraculous, she had asked Kaalki to take her away. Away from the pain, the hurt the constant abuse. She didn't expect to fall from the sky as she walked into the portal. She was really tired, she had just finished the final battle, switching between both creation and destruction miraculous.

She felt her consciousness slip from her and her life flashes before her eyes. 'At least I did good with my life', she thought bitterly. She tried to reach for the baton on her back but she was simply worn out. She figured it was best to at least try to brace herself for impact before she passed out. But instead of hitting the ground, she felt herself getting caught by a strong pair of arms and heard a small whisper, but she couldn't make out just what. She drifted off unconscious soon after.

The patrol was easy tonight. A few muggings here and there but it was handled quickly. Damian thought the night would end like this, peaceful. That is until Red Hood said something through the comms. "Yo, B?" the anti-hero said, "There's a cat falling from the sky, a person. It's a person. Looks like she's already only half conscious." "Catch her, then we can question her in the cave.

Red Hood rushed over to and caught the girl, "You alright Ms?" She was already unconscious. Red Hood carried her to the cave but he was quite surprised by how light she is. When he reached the cave the others were already waiting and her earrings started beeping apparently. He walked to the med bay and laid the girl down. The beeping quickened and soon green light envelopes the girl leaving just a normal girl lying on the bed. Alfred however, thought otherwise. When the light had taken over her body, Alfred had came to the conclusion that the girl wore the black cat miraculi which means the girl wields great power. Nothing however could prepare him to see who exactly was this girl.

Alfred couldn't mask his shock, it was his beloved goddaughter. Marinette now 17 years old was laying on the on the med bay bed. "Alfred?" Bruce's voice snapped him out of his shocked state, "Anything a problem?" "None Master Bruce," he answered, "I just wasn't expecting my goddaughter to be someone chosen to wield a miraculi nor that she would fall from the sky." Alfred started to check her pulse and breathing as Bruce along with the boys, excluding Dick who was fangirling and Damian who was still changing, stood frozen at his answer.

"You never told us you had a goddaughter," Bruce finally said. "I didn't see the need to, Master Bruce," Alfred stated simply and watched as Marinette's eyes started to flutter. He put his hand over hers as her eyes opened. "Parrain?" she slurred a bit. "Oui mon cher," he replied before giving the girl a hug. "What happened?" she asked switching to English.

"You fell from the sky apparently," Tim answered. "Oh," she said, "Kaalki? How did the portal end up in the sky?" A horselike creature came out and said, "It looks like I got the coordinates wrong guardian, I'm sorry," the kwami said. "It's alright Kaalki," she put her hands out for her, "We were all tired yesterday." "To the brink of exhaustion actually," Alfred said, "Your muscles are really weak." "I'm fine," she said but the yawn that escaped betrayed her. At that moment Damian had entered and saw her. The girl's hair was disheveled but that had somehow made Damian blush. "You can stay here for the time being," Bruce said. "Don't you go adopting her, Bruce," Dick said, "We all know your little adoption problem." The group laughed and Damian frowned at the thought of having her as a sister.

"I wouldn't want to impose, Monsieur..." she paused, "I'm sorry but it seems I have forgotten to ask for your name, I'm Marinette, Marinette Dupain-Cheng." She stuck her hand out to shake his. "Bruce Wayne, but please call me Bruce." The girl nodded but before she could continue her previous sentence Alfred cut her off, "Marinette, I know you came here via miraculi and as much as I'd love to have you here, I must ask won't your parents notice?"

"They won't," she replied sadly, "They kicked me out, Parrain." Tears were forming in her eyes as she remembered how her parents had believed Lila instead of her. "Ok then, Master Bruce?" Alfred turned to face him, "Would you mind keeping her company?" Bruce nodded and Alfred walked out the door with the boys behind. Damian could only hope his father doesn't adopt the girl. 'I want her to join the family another way.'

875 words

Ckfkwpqlqndlwmskandie, I'm so so sorry, my parents surprised me that we were going out for the day and couldn't get connected to the Internet. And I know I haven't posted' The School's Anti-Hero' because I apparently forgot to write down the draft and my stupid brain forgot what it was. I may do a part 2 of this.

XOXO

~𝓔𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓷

@miraculouslydumb @mialuvscats @bumblebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee @guessmyname17

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to OPTIGAMI!!

I have never been so nervous and scream so much during an episode of this show before. And if you know me, that's saying something. Gabriel and Nathalie are getting seriously scary. Their plans are getting much more convoluted and are getting closer and closer to actually succeeding. And because of this, Alya's involvement is a lot more important now because there's no way Chat Noir and Ladybug would have managed it without her. Let's be real, the reason they chose Nino as their target was because Gabriel's still bitter about Adrien and Nino being friends after Bubbler. Awww all the Kwami's are so cute, wanting to go along. Trixx being like, oh well I have an owner so I can go! And Marinette being adamantly against it. It was at this moment I knew, Alya's getting that Miraculous permanently. But I didn't know if it'd be in this episode or not, so I didn't get too excited yet. But Trixx and Alya's bond is something I really like and want to see more of. Nino and Alya's little high-five/handshake is so cute I can't help but smile every time. x3

Marinette's freak-out about getting in the elevator. Luka's got a soft look on his face. Kagami's like "why are you like this" Max's just confused at what's going on AND THEN THERE'S ADRIEN WITH THE SOFTEST LOOK When you realize that Marinette adoringly (and appeared like she wishes she could have that, too) watching Alya and Nino do their little high-five/handshake is what saved everything in the end.....😬Cutting it really close. I thought Alec got trapped by Hawk Moth and that that's why he didn't show up. Who knew he was playing video games in a bathroom stall instead of doing his job lol. Lesson learned, I hope. xD I'm just surprised Hawk Moth's in the bathroom instead of his lair. He could do the same thing from home. 😂 I'm not a fan of Audrey, but that was really cold. The exchange between Marinette and Alya during an akuma attack is what I've been waiting for since Gang of Secrets. Adrien being wonderful and protecting Chloe, which could've messed up everything had Kagami not saved him. It's so sweet that despite what happened between them, she still risks herself to save him. "Plagg-" Marinette comes bursting into the elevator, looking in her bag "Tikk..iii!" OOF So I screamed, a lot. And laughed hysterically 😂 All Marinette had to do was run in facing the other way and she'd see Plagg and it'd be all over. All that had to happen was for her to run in a second or two later. All that had to happen was she noticed Adrien a second or two too late. But Adrien heard her say "Tikk...iii" in an attempt to cover herself. Remember, he's always had suspicion of Marinette being Ladybug and came to the conclusion easily enough. Kwamibuster did divert his attention away from it a bit, but Chat Blanc took place after and he didn't hesitate to think otherwise. Aww poor Zoe :c She's part of the "Chloe's used me as a human shield" club. (((Everything after this point, I had to completely redo because tumblr decided to suck and wouldn't allow me to post my message due to an "error" (which has never happened to me before), then wouldn't let me save it as a draft. Then when I went to copy it all, somehow everything got eaten and it wouldn't allow me to undo to bring it back 😭 Goodbye an hour and a half of my time. And another hour and a half redoing it all. So if I happen to leave anything big out, I'm so sorry. My luck has just been extremely awful lately.))) You can take the Miraculous away from the kid, but you can't take the Miraculous out of the kid. Max and Luka showing their hero sides while not suited up is so nice. Loving the Oblivio parallel! Marinette says softly, "I'm sure Chat Noir will save us." While I know she's Ladybug and knows Ladybug won't show up to save them, he doesn't know that. Her response of Chat Noir will come save them, shows that she has confidence in him. Even if Adrien knows Chat Noir won't show up, that's such a sweet thing for her to say and I hope he noticed that. Marinette: "I'M STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR" Alya: "Ohhh? With

Adrien?" Marinette: how did she know? "Yeeeeees!" Alya: oh wait this is really bad Adrien: "I'm stuck in the elevator with Marinette!" Nino: "How cool! Adrien and Marinette are stuck together in the elevator!" Alya: "Haha yeah so cool and not problematic at all!" I love this entire scene. Alya teasing Marinette but then being like oh shoot this is seriously bad. Nino being totally oblivious to it all and thinking that it's good news to get their friends closer. And Adrien's just like, I'm not going to ask for help, I'm just informing my friend I'm stuck in an elevator with my just a friend. xDD And that kiss on the cheek from Alya was adooorable! Emergency phone for the Kwami's is such a good idea. But yeah, if they all screamed "Hello?!" in my ear, I'd be chucking my phone across the room too. Adrien's like, "who's that? That sounded like a lot of people.: "I called the fire department." OK. Yes, because you tell the fire department not to fly but to ride a horse to come rescue you when you're in a skyscraper. And repeat it again "Understood, firefighters? Ride in on a horse." Adrien's over in the corner like what the heck? You also, to firefighters, totally yell, "No, no, not prehistory!" and then sheepishly grin at the person you're with. Totally not sus and makes absolutely perfect sense! And then here's the part that has me going ??? Adrien saw Optigami's eyes on the wall, immediately alerts her to that and shushes her. Now, they're hiding from an akuma, but the thing sees them. There's no hiding from it regardless of what's said. So why be quiet? And yet, he's shushing her which convinces her to hang up. Had she continued trying to talk to them, Nathalie might've caught on to there being something up. Adrien's in Chat Noir mode here, as if what she's saying could expose their identities to Hawk Moth. That intense look he gives her after the fact too really shows that, he's not messing around. They also were both just about to tell the other their identities, them being extremely close to each other to do so. They came so close! So what's going on here, exactly? Adrien's come to the conclusion Ladybug is Marinette before. In Chat Blanc, after Kwamibuster showed him supposedly that LB and Marinette are different people, he didn't hesitate to think that Ladybug was Marinette. I don't think he's ever let that possibility go. And the events in the elevator where she started calling for Tikki, and her nonsensical comments over the phone that'd be something Ladybug does, may really have him leaning in that direction. Also, so very sus again that once Optigami went away, they both were like "Oh it was nothing" "I was only wondering what that strange eye thing was." Yeah, that's why you guys sounded nervous like you had something important to say and got in each other's faces! :D It's also interesting, because whenever Marinette and Adrien are in a situation together, Adrien almost always is the one that takes hold of the situation and is more aware of his surroundings over Marinette. xD This man over here just eagerly eliminating children. x.x Like a lot of things in this show, if Alya had just answered that phone call from Nino, events may have played out completely differently! o.o There goes the Eiffel Tower again xD It never not gets blown up, knocked over, or teleported. LOL it's so funny to me, and also such a yikes moment, that while Alya rushed over to Marinette's, got the Miraculous, teleported back, found "Nino" and gave him the Miraculous, then teleported into the elevator, Ladybug and Chat Noir's civilian selves are just trapped in that elevator, awkwardly, and all alone. Likely deep in thought feeling guilty they're powerless to do anything without exposing their identities. xD But at least they're both brooding over the same thing and probably couldn't care less if the other one talks or not, nor noticing enough that the other's really quiet. XD And the way they both reacted to the portal being opened in the elevator. Cautious, but then Adrien puts his hand on Marinette's back and kind of has

her in a position where he can pull her back to him and protect her. Which is a very different kind of protection than he's offered to others, Chloe earlier in this episode being a very good example. Just a friend? Yeeaah. The fact that in every single episode that has Marinette and Adrien interact this season, there's something there, and it's just a matter of time before it's addressed. A bit sad that we didn't get actual Carapace in this episode, but I'm hoping we get him in later eps! MAJOR OOOF A train with people in it underwater, a skyscraper with probably a lot of people in it burning in a volcano, cars, what looks to be the building they were filming the music video in Frightningale, and the Arc de Triomphe on the moon. Yeah I'm seeing where things are going now with this. I'm going to write a post addressing some of these things a bit later. Ladybug in a ponytail is the prettiest hairstyle imo. Chat Noir rushes in, sees Ladybug, Carapace, and Rena Rouge all together, first wondering how they all got in "Hello, Chat Noir" there went any of his thoughts he may have had about it lol... and feels disappointed. "Sorry! I would have got you, if I knew your secret identity." Whoa hold up. Ladybug, so forwardly talking about knowing his secret identity? o.O I smell foreshadowing. "As I always say, m'lady. To know me means to love me." "Then I'll think about it." as she smirks and giggles. Guys. She's being serious. 😍😍😍 I admit, I wish we could know what she was going to talk to Chat Noir about after everything, since she thought the situation was taken care of and asked him to wait there for her. She obviously had something she wanted to talk with him about. And thank you Marinette's observation skills for knowing that's not the real Nino! But poor Alya, so horrified like that... I bet she's thinking both "What have I done? I just gave a Miraculous away to Hawk Moth essentially." and "How is it that I couldn't recognize that wasn't my boyfriend?" On the latter, Chat Noir's made that error several times as well. Hawk Moth just really sucks to do that kind of thing to these kids. Real Nino's here to comfort Alya. Doesn't even have to say a word, just gives her a hug. I absolutely adore this. They're so perfect together. ;-; "It (Lucky Charm) always shows me the right way, but this time I was shortly led astray." "Hmm." Hmm? What the heck does that mean? More foreshadowing?? What's going to happen next omg. Yes, Marinette needs someone out there who can replace her if something happens. And I know so many people are like, oh no, that should be Chat! But just think about it. Today, Chat Noir and Ladybug were trapped in an elevator in a situation where they were powerless. They came extremely close to needing to transform with Hawk Moth watching. Had Hawk Moth not been Adrien's dad and let him be, they would've transformed and fought, no doubt. A lot of things could happen, and Ladybug and Chat Noir are always in the thick of things. We've seen one or both of them become unavailable many times. It's good that someone else is their safety net. You may see Alya as just Ladybug's but she's also Chat's too. I screamed and cheered so loud when Alya got her Miraculous to hold onto! I've wanted this for sooo long now! ;-; Okay ew, the way the music went from happy and sweet to creepy when Gabriel and Nathalie were on screen. 😬 Watch: Gabriel, in his plot to try to get to know more about Alya, will have Adrien through a party or have some friends get together at his house which will likely include Nino and Marinette as well, and have him use his own son to try to get what he wants without Adrien suspecting a thing, even thinking his father's giving him more freedom and more of a normal life. How sick. x.x This was a seriously good episode! I'm very excited to see how this all plays out, because things are getting seriously intense in many different ways! Honestly, my original write up of this post was much better but I lost it all. Which makes me very sad and disappointed, but it can't be undone. :c So

hopefully this was enjoyable anyway! I'll be writing a few posts that are more in-depth about some of the events that happened in recent episodes, including Chloe's character and situation, Adrien's feelings for Marinette, Adrien/Chat's situation with Ladybug, etc that are too specific and detailed to write in a thoughts and reactions post, so be on the look out for those! c:

[infinitum-imaginaerum]

Secrets | Joshua

Joshua | Secrets

Words | 9,180

Notes | Bodyguard!Joshua, mentions of alcohol, mild cursing. Angst/Fluff; 

I’m back-ish with a very rough (I think) piece, mildly edited. I’m excited but nervous to be posting here again and I don’t know how often it will be that I will be posting but.... here’s this; my first svt piece in 8 months. This is a repost since... the tagging system on this site... yeah... 

The fake smiles and peach Bellinis, the overdone cologne and extravagant attire, the crystal chandeliers and table decorations all brought a sneer to your face when you assumed nobody was paying close enough attention. The solitude didn’t bother you so much, it was nice to not feel like you were being suffocated for at least ten minutes; ten minutes of breathing to yourself was all you ever asked for. Always being tugged this way and that for photo ops got exhausting. The photo ops weren’t even the most taxing part, it was the fake relationship you had to keep up with one of the most prominent up and coming jewelry designer’s son, who you had happily dated at one point.

Big chunky bracelets, rings that looked too heavy for fingers, necklaces layered to the hills, and earrings that may have ripped anyone’s earlobes open was the type of gaudy jewelry you always had to put on display with a disgusting fake smile while your now-ex-boyfriend dripped with confidence, somehow, that made your skin crawl. Being in his direct vicinity all the time to keep up the image of this perfect shining couple for the sake of jewelry promotions quite frankly made your stomach turn, but the perks may have made it worth it—occasionally.

Some of the more elegant jewelry picks, a lump sum of money, some days wiping that egotistical smirk off his face were a few things that made it all worthwhile since you were frequently the one being interviewed at events about the jewelry line while still not being the heir. That boiled his blood in a way that genuinely turned your lips up in an almost unnoticeable smile. The couth you had to sit there in front of him and take all the questions with such grace—you could feel the way his fingers dug into your hip when he sat with you a bit friendly, but it was all for show. The two of you were business partners now, and that’s really all it boiled down to.

But you’d had your run-in with his less than stellar attitudes, at galas and showcases when he lost his temper with you being a show-stealer, and often forcefully kept you around to keep the cameras on him. That’s when you found Joshua. You’d found him and his specific skillset in a newspaper ad—it was unlike you to read the newspaper but you perused the ad section for job listings, animal adoptions, and all kinds of other things when you came across his blurb:

Full or Part Time Bodyguard. Trained in hand to hand and weapons combat, CPR certified, available for any/all events. To Inquire, call Joshua Hong.

While you had entertained the idea of a bodyguard for a while, it never really became a necessity until the business partnership you had was getting a bit more aggressive. There was little you could do to complain, because leaving was always a viable option, albeit they begged you to stay for publicity purposes—they being the family after hearing of your falling out. But Joshua became a harsher reality as the partnership became most hostile.  

When you first saw Joshua at a consultation, he was the last type you’d ever suspect. You wouldn’t say he was far from intimidating looking, but he didn’t radiate a whole ass-kicking like you had expected. He was quieter with soft eyes but very professional. He spoke to you matter-of-factly, laying out all your options and drafting contract ideas in case you wanted to go through with hiring him. You figured it couldn’t hurt to have him around, particularly at events where anything could have gone unnoticed in such a large crowd, especially with the way you were treated.

Bringing Joshua to the table for a showcase rocked the boat a bit. It turned into an escalation by your ‘business partner’ about how it was unnecessary to have a bodyguard and that it would only bring suspicions about your relationship, to which you retaliated, “As if you harshly pulling me around isn’t enough.”  His parents could do little to object. You had Joshua there with you, or you were out of the deal, which would bring their publicity and the whole story of a budding couple getting into jewelry design together to a screeching halt and they would undoubtedly lose the following and media support they’d gained because of it.

Joshua became even less favorable by the end of the first confrontation between him and the egomaniac. He was demanding you around at a photo-op, even sternly in front of the photographers—most of which by now were suspicious of the condition of your relationship because really how dare he talk to you like that much less in public—and often grabbed you by the arm and placed you exactly where he wanted you when he wanted you to be there. It was in Joshua’s contract to tolerate minor things like that, but he ground his teeth at just the sight but kept his mouth shut for the duration of the shoot. But when it was finally time to go home, he sure gave a piece of his unsolicited mind.

“Next time, how about you try keeping your hands off,” Joshua commented a bit harshly in the direction of the man who quickly became an enemy.

“Joshua,” you pleaded with him as you were packing your things, but your ex had already turned face to chest Joshua up. He ignored you for a moment, knowing you weren’t in any danger because the only danger to you was currently right in his face.

“I’ll put her where I want, when I want,” was the confident reply.

“Actually, you won’t,” Joshua spat back, eye to eye with the slightly shorter male in front of him. “You will keep your hands to yourself.”

“Mister Hong,” you almost barked, his full name flowing from your lips like a command to a soldier, which was in essence what he was. He choked off the growl in his throat as he turned face to return to you while you finished gathering your things, but not without giving the other man—who looked as if that was a battle he’d won instead of a battle he’d just been saved from—a glare that would make his mother pale. You picked up your bag after Joshua helped your jacket on and you left the building.

He did his best to bite his tongue in situations he knew he should just be quiet and wait for your cue or follow the contract to a T. The first gala was an absolute trip—there were hundreds of people, too many asking too many questions, flashing cameras in your face, people crowding left and right and that same smile on your face even he could tell was fake. But he played the part well—he donned a pressed black suit with a lovely fuchsia carnation pinned on his lapel. The only thing that made him out of place was the clear earpiece he had tapped to the microphone in the clip of your hair. If he was too far to see you, he could at least hear you if there was a problem.

It was obvious enough that it deterred people from asking him questions, or even talking to him really, but he wasn’t the only guard on duty so he spent most of his time playing wallflower, lined up with the others as they observed the gala. It was clear that it was strictly forbidden to interact with you under circumstances not outlined in the contract, by direct request of the family of honor. You figured it was fair, as the whole reason you were there was to portray an image and Joshua wasn’t part of it.

Most gala’s he spent gritting his teeth as he stood tall against the wall, watching the way your partner manhandled you just within the boundaries of the contract until it was finally over when he would follow you close out of the venue and take your hand to step you off the curb to let you fall into the passenger’s seat of his car brought around by valet just to get in and grip the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grasp and silently take you home, and be paid out on your doorstep—what soon became the routine.

But the routine changed when you grew a little fonder of Joshua when you lingered to leave when you were no longer in need of his services, when sometimes you sat in the passenger’s seat of his car to just sit and process, or to vent, or to just enjoy being in the company of another without the stress of a business agenda. When you finally talked freely about interests outside of this partnership you had with him.  When he walked you to your door and had a little more to say, irrelevant to being paid—things as simple as sleep well, or stay safe, or until next time, things other than thank you for your business. When it seemed as though he was growing fonder of you, too.

And then, the door once cracked opened a bit more when a late conversation turned into a disagreement turned into something else.

You knew he’d been disgruntled with the inability to do anything about the situation, with the way the boundaries were teased and tested and Joshua’s investment in you continued to grow beyond the confines of said contract. It brought on a lot of tension between the two of you, as if there hadn’t been tension on car rides home after parties or showcases or reveals or fundraisers—it didn’t really matter, he took you to and from almost every event.

He was quieter than usual, something you tried to ignore as you tended the bruise against your arm from where you’d been grabbed multiple times throughout the night, mostly minding your own business and exchanged your attention between that and the passing of the city outside the car window. The air conditioning was cool on your skin, soothing on your feet from being pressed in heels all night that you’d slightly kicked off in a bit of relief before he finally broke the silence.

“When are you going to let me give him what’s coming?” Joshua asked you, his tone a little urgent, and startled you a little bit in the deep leather bucket seat of his car. “It’s been five months and time and time again you let him tug you around like a rag-doll and only half the time can I see the discomfort on your face, but a hundred percent of the time I can hear it when you grunt or wince or yelp.”  

You sighed heavily—this wasn’t particularly a conversation you wanted to have.

“He’s within the contract,” you replied.

“Any malicious touch should be outside the contract,” he growled.

“Well then it’s a good thing you didn’t write it,” you replied as he pulled up to your place, shutting the car off after throwing it into park to walk you up to your door like he always did. You had a bottom floor apartment, which made slipping your heels back on and stepping out of the car less of a battle since you wouldn’t have to climb any stairs.  Even though he was a bit put off with you, he still rounded the car to gently take your hand to pull you up from the seat, double-checking to make sure you had everything, and walked you up to your door.

“I wish I had,” he finally replied as you turned the key in the handle to tumble the look to unlock your door. “I wish I had because he would have stopped testing the both of us months ago.”

“That’s not your call to make,” you replied, grabbing the envelope that sat on the table just inside your doorway which already had a predetermined amount enclosed with his name written in fine script across it the same way that it always did. “I hired you to do a specific job, you agreed to adhere to the contract; if you don’t like the contract, we can discontinue this partnership at any time,” you finished.

Part of you couldn’t decide if he hadn’t heard anything you said, or if he was just taking his time to reply, because his gaze was effectively all over your face, refusing to reach up for the envelope. You could see the look in his eyes that generally meant he was thinking, but what came next you almost couldn’t prepare for.

Both his warm hands cupped your cheeks, tilting your head up towards his just enough for him to gracefully take your lips with his. Your back softly hit the frame of your door as his envelope crumpled in your hand, and you found yourself instinctively leaning up into his mouth while your free hand momentarily cupped the back of his neck before you came to and nudged him away.

“Joshua…” you muttered a tad breathlessly, breaking the kiss. There were a million things that should have been going through your mind at that point, starting with how unprofessional all of this was, continuing with the image you had to maintain and how this whole thing would interfere with that, and finishing with grappling with your feelings that were turning your stomach over like a fish on deck.

One of his hands had slipped away from your face to hold you steady, warm and wide on your hip, but the other continued to tenderly stroke against your cheek while you looked at each other. His envelope was still clutched in your hand against his side, your other hand sliding away from the back of his neck and down his lapel—you could push him away, you should push him away. You wanted to tell him how many problems this would cause, how complicated this just made everything, but somehow all you could think about was the glitter in his eyes, the mint tones of his breath, and the taste of his pomegranate chapstick.

He must have known it wasn’t a good move because he collected the envelope from your hand without much more delay for thought—your door was already open so he didn’t have to wait any longer as he bid you goodnight, reminded you to sleep well, and turned to be on his way. You found his name stuck in the back of your throat, dying to come out, but also dying to stay in. The implications of the situation swirled in your head, and you gave a rickety exhale before finding your feet enough to retreat through your door.

Business continued as usual, Joshua attended with you as usual, but the only difference was that you were getting progressively more infuriated with the way you were being treated as another month passed. The jig had to have been up, the publicity you were gaining from keeping up the relationship lie had to have faded by now, but the numbers didn’t lie.  Joshua was still at your side, in the background, observing, wherever he needed to be to ensure his job was done correctly.  

You had taken a nasty fall on one of the sets of a photo-op because of an impatient and tugging hand of the typical problem male. Joshua lurched from against the wall as you cursed, the floor hard against your knees, and you stayed on the ground for a moment while your nails clawed against the tile, pushing away the sting.  A sweet voice whispered your name, and you knew who it belonged to, along with the hand that was extended in front of you. You stared at it for a moment before sitting up enough to dust your hands against each other, and daintily place one in Joshua’s large and warm one. He slowly lifted you to your feet, wanting to check your knees which were hidden behind a floral maxi-dress.

“Pathetic, can’t even get up on your own,” your ex-boyfriend spat in your direction, and the sigh that left your lips could have been a call from hell itself.

Your gaze turned up slowly, away from the ground, and up to his face like the inferno was ready to take him through the earth’s crust.  There was a snarl turning at the corners of your nose, and it was clear as day you’d had it up to your eyeballs. Your hand gripped Joshua’s with all the strength you had, and he could only look at you, waiting for your cue, waiting for you to cut him loose before you brought your free hand up and clapped it against the side of the face of your unruly business partner. It was a sound that rang through the room, and by the sound of the cry that exited just a moment after, you caught him upwards on the jaw and probably snapped his teeth together.

He yelled profanities at you, but the exhaustion of his antics were clear in your eyes. Joshua snarled at him when he attempted to approach, but you almost begged for it.

“Do you want another?” you asked him, a tinge in your voice that startled even Joshua. The blood from your split knee was trickling down your leg at this point, you could feel it go, but your one hand clutched the hand it held unwaveringly.  

The way your voice softened when you turned your head to speak to Joshua was like night and day. “My knees are bleeding,” you informed him, feeling them quiver as you continued to stand, bruising imminent. He didn’t hesitate to place your hand against his shoulder to slide around his neck and lift your legs out from under you. Your wicked ex-boyfriend took a step, but Joshua was quick and turned to check.

“Try me,” he growled and waited for an advance that never came before he turned to take you out of the room. One of the photography hands followed the two of you out with a first aid kit but stood aside to let Joshua take care of you. You pulled the dress up past your knees—it was worse than you thought. He requested some water to begin to clean your leg before cleaning the split that was already black and purple and swollen to the hills.

“You must have gone down pretty hard,” he commented, gingerly tending to said wound, but diligently nonetheless to get it cleared away enough to assess. At that point, all you cared about was the bloodstain on the knee of your pretty white dress. The pain was ignorable, your ex was ignorable, Joshua was mostly ignorable, but the pain you felt in your pride from letting him treat you like that which manifested in the stain on your dress was not. You looked at the stain with such disdain as you held it in your hands.

“I’ll get you a new dress,” he muttered after noting the look on your face.

“That’s not the point!” you yelled back harshly. He looked at you calmly, knowing your outburst wasn’t directed at him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied quietly and turned his gaze back down to bandage your knee, at least well enough to complete the shoot because he knew you weren’t going to leave without finishing it.

And so you did; the blood on your dress could be edited out, so that posed little concern. What did concern you, however, was the attitudes in the room and how they would shift. From then on, every move was checked with Joshua, both your eyes and your ex-boyfriend’s eyes meeting him if he ever even reached for you. Something in the way you’d whole-hand clapped him and the look on Joshua’s face after the fact—he had to have known at that point that he wasn’t ‘safe’ anymore. It was as if he could see that Joshua had been unclipped from the figurative leash.  

You finished the shoot with no further altercations but definitely needed help with some of the positions as your knee was unable to bend certain ways anymore, for the time being. When the shoot was finally over, you stayed on the set couch for a lingering moment as Joshua gathered your things and brought them over to you, but not without clipping shoulders with the trouble-maker himself.  

He had your duffel over his shoulder, creasing the jacket of his suit but refused to let you take it when he was able to get you on your feet again. You looked up at him with a scowl, almost as if to say that you could carry it yourself, but he gave you a skeptical look, not skeptical that you could carry it but that you were injured and he would just as well carry it for you.

You paid the photography crew your respects before beginning to hobble out of the set and eventually out of the building. Joshua offered you his arm as a crutch multiple times that you refused, stubbornly, until he’d finally had enough.

“Please take my arm, or I’ll carry you out of here,” he almost threatened as a gave a smile to the man at the security desk while you passed him, who gave you a curious look as you limped. You wanted to growl, but begrudgingly took his arm anyway; admittedly, it relieved some pain. He put your duffel in the back seat once finally arriving at the car and then opened the passenger’s door for you. Gingerly you lifted your damaged leg into the car first before all but falling in after it and let him close the door behind you.

As usual, he turned on the air conditioner a bit high—you needed to cool off after every interaction you had with your ex on any business excursion you needed to attend. You kept your rage entirely inside which boiled your blood and made your face hot and the cool air was quite helpful to bring it all back. Joshua delayed in starting the car for a moment as he looked over to you to make sure you were okay, but you ignored the pain in your knee and looked out the window, waiting for the car to start moving.  He sighed, noting the bloodstains on the knee of your dress before finally bringing the car to life to take you home.  It was already late into the afternoon, and he knew you’d want time to prepare dinner and shower and other things to relax for the evening, so he didn’t waste any more time.

He took you and your bag up to your front door the way he normally did, only this time with one of your hands wrapped around his arm to steady yourself as you hobbled slowly with your heels in your other hand before you were digging for your keys. Once your door opened, you threw your shoes in and took the duffel bag from him to toss that inside the doorway as well and reached for his envelope on the table, and turned back to him.

Joshua stood tall and respectfully the way he always did, alert with his shoulders square, hands clasps behind his back. Somehow his hair was always immaculate, his suit always pressed with zero hints of wrinkles, too professional; but his eyes looked at you softly, eyes you were looking into deeper and deeper every time you got the chance, eyes that captivated you like nothing else. You clutched the envelope in both your hands, a thought stirring in the back of your throat as you looked up at him.

“Joshua…” you started, trying to get the thought out as the envelope crumpled in your fingers.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied respectfully, only for you to remind him of your name even though you knew he hadn’t forgotten.

“I don’t pay you for this…” you started, crumpling the envelope a little more as you looked down at it, “but I would, if you wanted; I just don’t have any near family and I don’t want to be alone after all that and—”

“I’ll stay, for a bit, if that’s what you need. I’m here to serve you,” he replied, the tenseness in his shoulders dropping a little bit as his hands came forward to cup over yours, stopping you from nervously crinkling his envelope, “And don’t worry about compensating me.”

You weren’t sure how to reply as he finessed the envelope from your hands, setting it back down on the table you always retrieved it from as he walked you slowly back through the doorway of your apartment and kicked his shoes by the door. “Do you mind if I take my coat off?” he asked you, and you were a bit taken aback by the question—he was always dressed professionally, and this was the first time he would be taking his jacket off in front of you. All you could do was nod as you peeled yours off, too, a sweet dark washed cropped jean jacket.  

At some point you remember getting him a glass of water, you remember excusing yourself to change so that you could spot treat your dress and assess the damage on your knee yourself as Joshua made himself at home on your couch. It was the first time Joshua would see you in more casual clothes instead of dolled up for some event, but it was fair because you were seeing him cut a little loose too.  You remember flipping on the TV to drown out the somewhat awkward silence that loomed between the two of you for a bit, before agreeing on what to order for food. It was still a bit early for dinner, so some mindless TV was in order for a little bit. A part of Joshua had expected something else; maybe some feelings dumping or something similar, but he didn’t mind the fact that you just wanted to relish his company.  

That didn’t stop him from consistently looking at you, consistently noting the way your eyes would get a bit glassy before being controlled—you refused to cry in front of him.  He wasn’t there to comfort you, that wasn’t his job, and you didn’t want to make it seem like it was.   But when you could feel him looking at the side of your face a little too hard, you turned to look at him with the intention of asking if he wanted to order food, but ended up getting trapped in his eyes again.  

You could feel your breath hitch in your throat, meeting his gaze, but he didn’t seem surprised. His eyebrows rose for a split second, hardly even noticed as he looked back at you—your eyes were still a bit glassy from the forced back tears. He wouldn’t dare ask you to speak, much less speak about what was on your mind; he had unclear instructions of what he was there for, but it took everything in him to just sit there and say nothing, do nothing.  

He took a leap, and reached over to retrieve your hand closest to him, which happened to be your left hand, and cupped it in both of his.

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through; I can’t even begin to imagine how hard and taxing it is, how unbreakable your resolve has been, how strong you have been, but I know that you are.  I know that you are gracious and kind and patient. I know that you are so much than I get to see, so much more than anything he’d ever deserve.”

It was meant to be comforting, to be encouraging, and it was. Somehow, your fingers threaded between his and squeezed, trying to stave the tears that he had inadvertently pushed up to your waterline, and to avoid having him see them fall, you finally turned your face away from his.

“I’m going to order dinner, what would you like?” you asked, voice cracking a little as you quickly stood from the couch to the dismay of your injured knee as your hand left his. You quickly made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel to dab under your eyes, trying to save the makeup you had left. Vaguely, you heard him say something about getting whatever—he would eat whatever you ordered for him—and pulled out the small book of menus from nearby places.

Joshua sat on the couch, the lack of your hand between his somehow more intense when he knew you needed some comfort as he listened to you flip through some pages and eventually dial a number to place an order. He didn’t expect you to return immediately, or even within a reasonable amount of time, which was good because you didn’t.  You continued to stand in the kitchen and grip the counter, pushing your tears back and back and back while trying not to agitate your leg too much; the burn was real from your rush to get up, so you stood on the leg that was still good and bent the other to give it a rest.

Eventually, he was going to have to check on you. He spent plenty of time glancing over to the kitchen to see if you were emerging yet, but it didn’t happen to be the case, so before too long he pushed himself up from the couch as he quietly cooed your name. You had just been rounding the corner out of the kitchen and he’d caught you by surprise, causing you to stumble over your own feet and crash right into him. His anticipatory hands were able to catch you, for the most part, one able to catch your elbow while the other controlled your fall into his body. Your hands were a little more unceremonious, one furling in the fabric of his white dress shirt and the other grabbing onto his bicep while you crash-landed into his chest, staggering him a bit.

It was the first time you were really getting a lungful of his fragrance, swirling around you like phantom chains. The first time you were really feeling the solidity of his body and how protective it was capable of being. The first time you were really feeling the largeness of his hands as he steadied your balance by hulling you up against him to set you fully back on your own feet, the second time his wide palm was placed against your hip, which brought back many memories of the first time just outside your front door. He could have been able to hear the way you swallowed, looking right at his throat, adorned with a perfectly knotted tie and a finely pressed shirt collar.

And for a moment, you stood there with complete silence looming between the two of you while your hands found a more comfortable place to rest which happened to be right on the curve of his chest while the other continued to hold his bicep. It was always hard to see under his immaculate jackets, but now that it was just his dress shirt and an undershirt, you could see the way your hands curved against him.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he finally spoke, throat shifting particularly with how low he was trying to keep his voice, his bicep flexing under your hand as his hands slid a little further around you.

“Thank you for catching me,” you replied, “so I didn’t have to fall in front of you, again.”

For some reason, that hit him painfully. He couldn’t decide if it was because he felt guilty for making you feel embarrassed about what had happened in front of him, or because he felt guilty for not being able to prevent it in the first place. Although it felt like a sting, he was fully aware that you were making no effort to move from his grasp which was still settled somewhat around your waist until you had decided it was long enough and shuffled out of his grasp.

Joshua never dared pry about what was on your mind, even as he continued to watch you push tears away. At one point, you did close the gap between the two of you on the couch and sat with him, hip to hip, at least until your food arrived. You ate quietly, really just relishing each other’s presence outside of business hours, and sometimes caught him looking at you a little too long which he would dismiss with a soft smile. But dinner was quick, and you were cleaning up almost as soon as you sat down, it felt. And the sooner you were done with dinner, you feared, the sooner he would leave and that just wasn’t a thought you were ready to deal with yet. You had been grappling with saying something, giving him anything about what was going on with you—he already had a pretty good idea and made that very apparent, but you got nervous and pulled away.

You cleaned up in the kitchen quickly and grabbed Joshua’s empty glass to refresh it after he insisted the water was perfectly fine, before joining him on the couch again. This time you’d switched over the TV to just play music which was also perfectly fine because it seemed to ease the tension that was bubbling between the two of you.

“You know, I know we’re not that close, and I know you hired me, but if there’s anything you want to say, or if there’s anything you want me to do—”

“Does that anything include hauling a body away?” you joked, trying to lighten the mood since it had been a little dark since you first invited him in. He seemed to find amusement in your joke because he chuckled.

“I just want you to feel comfortable with me, like you don’t have to tiptoe around me or like you can’t experience emotions in front of me—I couldn’t even detect a semblance of pain on your face earlier although I know it hurt,” he reminded you.

“I do feel comfortable with you,” you replied, driving the point home by subconsciously leaning over to cozy up to him, resting your head against his shoulder as you were already sitting hip to him. He seemed a bit shocked, jarring for only a moment before relaxing into the way you pressed against him. “If I didn’t, I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago.”

“Ouch, so expendable,” he jested, resisting settling an arm around your shoulder. He knew from the last time that there were lines that shouldn’t be crossed, even if you were crossing one right now. It was on you what to do, but he couldn’t just take a moment of physical contact as the go-ahead, especially as you pulled away.

“You’re off the clock; you don’t have to be so alert,” you finally added.

“It’s in my nature,” he replied quietly, his gaze casting from your lap and back up to your face. “I can’t help wanting to jump to your defense, even from the threat that’s in your head.”

“At least that tells me that you take your job very seriously,” you replied just as quietly, your voice fading off a bit at the end as his face neared yours a bit more.

“You asked me to come in because you didn’t want to be alone; I think that warrants attention,” he answered. He had a point, but somewhere in the feeling of his warm breath against your cheeks, that point was lost. You knew what was coming, but somehow didn’t have the mind to stop it, or the want to stop it from happening. Your fingers furled into the upholstery of your couch as he came into your space.

“Joshu—” you tried, but the tender way his lips touched against yours cut that off.  There was a familiar touch of his fingertips against the cut of your jaw while his mouth gently slanted against yours. The sigh that exhaled through his nose was exacerbated as one of your somewhat panicked hands took a grip of his tie and tugged, encouraging him to tilt your jaw to his will as he readjusted the kiss.

He broke the kiss for a moment to gauge you, a little too in the moment to remember the first time this happened and what a mistake it was; somewhere in the back of his mind he knew the implications, he knew the conditions of your contract with the jewelry gig, he knew the media was keeping watch on your fake relationship, and he knew how much this was forbidden, but that only made him want it more. And you must have felt somewhat the same, because you leaned in to tease his bottom lip with your teeth, feeling the exhilaration of the fleeting freedom from that fake relationship against Joshua’s lips; the way the stress of all of that melted away at the taste of that familiar pomegranate chapstick.  His breath was warm against your mouth, anticipating your next move but you made it clear you were waiting for him as you hesitated while his lip slipped from the gentle grip of your teeth and, tentatively, he took your bottom lip to swipe his tongue against it to delve into another forbidden lip lock.

Breathless, you gave a deep exhale against his mouth as you’d finally come to your senses. Somewhere in your subconscious, you knew the two of you were dancing around this chemistry because you knew it would have to be a secret. You’d had all the forethought in the world after the last time about any time you could catch him away from the crowd how badly you wanted to take the lapel of his coat in your hands and melt into him. The last thing you needed was for rumors to start going around about you and him, but in this very moment, as your lips trailed away from his to kiss against the line of his jaw, you seemed to care not. And you knew you would have continued to kiss down his neck the way you’d thought about more times than you’d like to admit out loud if you didn’t know better. But the way his breath hit the air and the way his head tilted back just a bit just begged for a little more.

“Joshua,” you whispered against the slender column of his neck, or what you could reach that wasn’t covered by his completely buttoned shirt as your lips slid up to his ear, “If you don’t knock it off, next time I might not stop.”

A shiver shot down his spine at just the implications of your words. He knew it was wrong, he knew it was complicated, but now he knew that you felt the same way he did, that you knew he just couldn’t help it. His breath hit the air in a huff, a semblance of a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips but it faded just as quickly as his head came back down to meet gaze with you.

“Maybe I don’t want you to,” he replied, the glimmer in his eyes like the entire galaxy condensed. You agreed on the conditions of your current situation from a simple look, but you could also tell in each other’s eyes how much that didn’t matter. All that mattered was not getting caught. All that mattered was that it was a secret. Even still, something ate at you about the riskiness.  

You stood from the couch for the sole purpose of creating some distance before you completely lost your resolve, although it was still breaking the more you looked at his eyes, the features of his face, the curves and sharpness of his jaw, and his mouth which you were already so acquainted with.

It would be tough, but you knew already quitting Joshua would be harder already, so you both vowed to keep it as down low as possible, and that meant entirely in the ground in public of any kind.

That meant you attended galas and fundraisers with even more disinterest than you had before, and the tugging persisted but now you were being bombarded with questions about your fake relationship—you did your best to remain quiet and let the star of the show answer. You continued to work on designing pieces in the comfort of your apartment and develop them into fine pieces of jewelry and you were still raking in design rights left and right from a company you wanted to break from entirely. It was slowly becoming apparent that no matter what happened between you and Joshua, that company would owe you royalties for your designs, and undoubtedly would ask you to continue designing since you were the top contributor much to your partner’s dismay.

To do your best to avoid suspicion, Joshua often stayed behind at times he would have typically accompanied you. He spent more time playing wallflower than he was used to, especially as you were being bombarded left and right by people who wanted nothing more than your attention than to pick your brain about your designs, but despite the new dynamic of his investment, he was still your bodyguard.   And the more he got invested, the more he hated seeing you put in that fake smile in the arms of a man he already detested; but he vowed to keep his word, and keep his word he did.

Some galas, you just couldn’t take it. Joshua always had a watchful eye on you when you were seated even while Mr. Self-Important was wandering about and entertaining guests, trying to butter them up for a sale or investment of some kind. Occasionally, you’d meet eyes with him before finding your way to your feet and began to weave through the crowd. It wasn’t unusual for him to follow you, as it was agreed he would be keeping eyes on you at all costs.  You made your way through many hot bodies crammed in a too-small room as he tried to keep track of your head bobbing through the crowd before making it into a back room. Still, he followed the sound of your heels against the ornate tile. He followed you quite some time before leading him onto the balcony of a backroom you doubted anyone would be finding even if they were adventuring on their own.

“What do you think you’re doing, taking off like that?” he asked you a little roughly, trying to figure out exactly what was going through your mind to just get up and storm off as if that wouldn’t gather some attention.

“I can’t take it anymore,” you replied desperately, looking back at him as you exhaled sharply. The look in your eyes was enough, an inextinguishable fire burned in your very soul. He almost melted under that gaze, daring to shuffle towards you. You let the fresh air wash against the skin exposed by your evening gown—it was refreshing, to say the least; but the way Joshua was looking back at you made it hard to distinguish the cool air from the fire in your veins.

You begged to step passed him and return to the gala—being out here with him alone spelled bad news for the secrecy of your intermingling lives because you could tell the more that you looked at him, the more you couldn’t stop the way your gaze flittered down to his lips for only a moment before trying to recompose yourself.  But you went to step anyway, not quick enough for his wide hands which strongly took your hips and backed you up against the railing of the balcony.

“Is that why you lead me out here? You had to have known I would follow you,” he asked, a ghost of a whisper in the slight breeze as he leaned down to capture your gaze again, bringing your eyes up to his and you could feel your breath caught in your throat, hands anticipatorily on his forearms through his suit coat.

You wanted to protest, you wanted to tell him this couldn’t happen—not here, not now. The way he continued to step closer to you made the lump bigger and bigger, making it even more difficult to get words out before he was leaned in too close, and only then were you able to squeak anything out.

“It’s dangerous,” you muttered against his mouth, the familiar taste of his pomegranate chapstick and the plush warmth of his lips against yours broke any semblance of control and your hands ruffled through the hair on the back of his head.  It was feverish at first, as if you’d been deprived of him for so long before the actuality of his lips against yours, of his hands on your body tugging you into him finally set in and you calmed down; as did your hands which combed his hair back into place before sitting daintily across his broad shoulders until he broke the kiss off, hypocritically trying to remind you that you were still in public but it didn’t stop the way he placed gentle kisses against your forehead as you leaned into him.

His scent, which you had grown so accustomed to, seemed to be amplified in the quiet wind as you took a deep breath through your nose while his forehead found yours—your eyes remained closed, and it was the most serene moment you’d experienced at a gala to that day. Everything felt at ease, everything felt simple, everything felt right.

But in the following days, a different kind of panic was settling into you when your boss’s son showed up on your doorstep with the front page of a magazine with a photo of you and Joshua out on that balcony that night.  He was red in the face, demanding an explanation from you about how you could be so careless, essentially informing you that he had already had ideas about you and Joshua but trusted that you wouldn’t blow the work you had going.  The thought of being caught had crossed your mind on so many occasions, but late-night talks after late-night talk when he stayed over to calm your nerves, to rub your shoulders and shower you with kisses, you concluded—what were they going to do? What did you care about that fake relationship? What did you care about the publicity of a company you had no investment in other than design rights? Regardless of popularity, you would continue to get royalties from every sale of your designs.  

“This is simply absurd; this is the last thing I had anticipated waking up to. This ruins so many things, in fact, it ruins everything! All the publicity we had going for this startup, you so selfishly ruined!” he screamed at you while you stood in the doorway of your apartment. For a moment, you didn’t care. He had screamed at you many times in the past, so you looked at him unfazed.

“I’m sorry, I’m the selfish one? I’m the one who demanded we keep up a fake relationship for a publicity stunt to… what… keep the jewelry line directly in the media at all times? I’m the selfish one?”

“You have gotten every last bit out of my family and this business and then you go and blow it, getting caught like a fool!”

Your knuckles were turning white with the way you were gripping them under your crossed arms as you looked at him. Your blood was boiling.

“I worked my ass off to provide your family with very successful designs for their line! Remind me again who’s the selfish one!” you spat back in his face, the burn on your tongue feeling like actual flames with how irate you were at this point. “And remind me, what have you done, at all? Have you made any contributions to this business other than providing the media a pretty face to look at?”

He pushed his hand against the door of your apartment and stepped towards you, enough for you to take a few steps back and unfold your arms in the case you had to defend yourself. And you would have, but the rumble behind you that was deep enough, menacing enough to open a rift in the earth’s crust came from behind you.

“Get out,” Joshua threatened, having been standing just behind the door to listen to the exchange. He wanted you to give you your space to deal with it on your own—you deserved to deal with it on your own; it was your position, your designs, your royalties, your contributions to defend. He was there, however, to defend your being.

“You! You are at least half the—”

“Get out!” Joshua repeated, taking a step forward before ripping the magazine from shaking fingers. “I don’t think I have to tell you again. Your little charade is done, and the only one who will suffer is you and you alone. Now get out, or I’ll escort you out.”

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer about this—”

“I don’t think that’s the route you want to go,” you interjected. “I own those designs; I am owed royalties on every sale of those designs; whether you like it or not, I have a legal cut of this company which is not contingent on how successful our media façade is. So, if I’ll be hearing from your lawyer about Joshua who has a legal and contracted right to remove you from my property, then you’ll be hearing from mine, who will bury you.”  

There was a shakiness in your voice, indistinguishable between anger and nerves, as Joshua escorted him out of your home and slammed the door behind him.  You stood just beyond the entryway, safe distance within your house to avoid any conflict, but your shoulders heaved.  You could hear the heavy deadbolt flip, locking the door tight before Joshua turned around to face you. He gave you some space for just a moment, but he wasn’t too keen on leaving you standing there looking like the very life had been sucked from your bones for too long.

“It’s over,” he cooed to you, “you don’t have to hide anymore.”

Your gaze crossed the flooring to his feet and ran up his legs, up his body to his face. His mouth housed a tender smile, eyes soft as he looked over you, and somewhere deep in there he could see the relief, the surfacing of tension to let it all go, and for a fleeting moment, you granted him a soft smile as well before he wistfully crossed the floor to take you against his chest.

“I’m proud of the way you stood your ground. You’ll never have to stand it alone again.”

It seemed like a slightly inclined battle for the first month or so. You did hear from his lawyer, and he heard from yours, and it was a winning battle in court to discuss your role within the business. You came to an agreement to keep a position, much to the dismay of your now ex-business partner, and continue working on designs with minimal pressure, and that, the final marker of the decisions, was the nail in the coffin for all the tension to finally free from your body.  You stood in a mostly empty courtroom in a fine skirt-suit as you awaited the verdict—you were too relieved to cry, but Joshua’s hand squeezing yours almost elicited those tears.

It wasn’t long before you moved in together to settle down.

You spent long nights sometimes in the studio working on big sketchbooks loosely doodling designs across the entire page. A lone lamp that illuminated a desk behind your easel was hardly enough to sustain healthy eyesight, but it never seemed to stop you especially when you were struggling to push sleep away from those eyes.  Often, Joshua slipped out of bed to come find you, well into some hours after he’d retired for the night just to sneak into the studio behind you.

He watched the way your hand effortlessly moved across the page, flicking lines down on the paper to craft those rough sketches he knew would eventually turn into fine pieces of jewelry. You had a knack for it, serious vision for jewelry only the elite could afford.

“It’s not light enough in here for your eyes,” he whispered to you, rubbing his hands along your shoulders and upper arms before he’d dig his thumbs in.

“You tell me that every time,” you reminded him quietly, eyes closing to relish the way he pushed some knots away from your shoulders.  

His chuckle was smooth in your ears, dripping down your spine like refined syrup before he pulled up a stool behind you and nestle his arms around your waist, leaving you free enough to continue to work on some sketches, but not without some attempts at wooing you to leave them.

“Come to bed with me,” he whispered just behind your ear, only to place a couple of kisses against your neck and nuzzle against your jaw.

“Five more minutes,” you replied, only to feel his arms tighten around you.

“I fell for that too many times; I’m not so naïve anymore,” he reminded you. “They’ll be here for you another day.”

“And so will you,” you answered.

“Ouch, so expendable,” he teased, knowing that you were teasing, too.

“Joshua,” you whined as he kissed down your neck and across your shoulder, only lightly clothed by a loose-fitting tee that was slouching off to the side anyway. But he wouldn’t stop. Especially not as he got up to flick the lamp off, the only light remaining for vision was the hallway light outside the door, which was enough for him to scoop you from your stool to bring both your legs up around his waist and your arms to dangle over his shoulders. He could feel the sleepiness in your body, but your stubbornness persisted as you protested some more. He carried you from the small studio room and down the hallway to flick the light off with his elbow before he was gently laying you in the cool sheets of the bed you shared with him, sealing off any further words with a couple of sweet kisses against your unsuspecting lips.

Despite all your hawing a few moments prior, the soothing sheets underneath you coupled with the warm body that was settling in next to you settled you quite a bit when he turned you into him and you settled into his shoulder, the same way you did every night.

[the-asmp-wt]

(QUICK OOC COMMENT ABOUT MY POST. This is a nightmare, so characters WILL be out of character. Everything italicized is the dream. Have fun!)

The ground was sand. This was something that was unusual, because a!WT knew in her heart that this was L’Apoloburg, but nothing remained past the sand. No walls, no homes.

“Hello?”, she called out, squinting to try and see if she could see anybody in the sand. The wind kept pushing the sand over her feet, and she kicked it away, deciding she may as well walk since there was no answering call.

a!WT walked for hours, or maybe only minutes before reaching what looked like the walls of L’Apoloburg, crumbled and fallen, and a figure standing in front of it. The closer she got, the easier she was able to tell that the figure had its back to her, and that it was the President.

“a’Wilbur! Where are we- what happened to our home? What’s going on?”, a!WT asked, reaching out a hand to grab onto a!Wilburs shoulder, but instead of the other turning around the scene changed.

They were now both standing in L’Apoloburg, brightly colored grass beneath their feet. a!Wilbur was facing a!WT, and they were by the walls. The look on a!Wilburs face was a look that a!WT had never seen before, it was unsettling.

“D-did you r-really think I w-wouldn’t know?”, it asked, and a!WT froze. No. No no no no this wasn’t right this wasn’t something that happened or was going to happen no.

a!Wilbur was advancing now, grinning, and a!WT backs up, until her back hits the wall, panic shooting through her stomach. That was wrong she shouldn’t ever be scared of a!Wilbur this wasn’t right why was this happening-

“D-did you re-really buy that I’m that stupid? Come on a!WT, really? Was that what made you think you could pull this shit off? Of course I know your working with the enemy. I knew since the day I made you my Vice President.”, a!Wilbur sneered, a sword appearing at its side, and they rested a hand on it.

a!WT couldn’t comprehend what was happening. a!Wilbur knew all along? This was just some stupid fucking game that she was a pawn in?

“Then why not say something earlier! Why wait until I’ve told a!Tommy things!”, a!WT responded, pretending like her voice wasn’t shaking as hard as her hands were, eyes wide.

a!Wilbur laughed coldly, a dark gleam in its eyes that was never there before. At least, never a look that was directed at her. Once the laugh faded, the words that came were just as cold,” You think I care? You think I told you the truth- do you really think I’d trust You? Of all people, why you? It was just a stupidly easy way to distract the poor whining opposition…”

It was then that a!WT felt the eyes on her, and her gaze drafted from the healed but entirely unrecognizable face of a!Wilbur to the area around the pair. They were surrounded by residents, both ones who had been exiled and those who stayed. Ghostburs, a!Niki, even the a!Techno and the Wilbur she had met on her journey. They were all watching with impassive expressions, meeting her gaze and the longer they looked the more disdainful they became, faces warping in expressions of pure disgust or betrayal.

But the worst was a!Tommy.

a!Tommy’s eyes were filled with disgust and hurt, but also grim resignation. He was up in a tree, their bracelet-less arms wrapped around a branch, making no move to help.

“Help me.”, a!WT mouthed, aware that a!Wilbur was speaking but she paid them no mind, pleading for her friend to somehow be able to save this. Surely she had a plan, or some sort of saving grace that would get a!WT out of this. They were a pair right? Best friends?

Though a!Tommy was far away, his words echoed around a!WT.

“Why would I help you? You didn’t even fucking give me useful information- you got yourself into this situation. I don’t need you, and never did. You weren’t careful enough, and now everyone knows. Everyone knows everything except me. You’ve given me nothing… you are nothing to me…”, a!Tommy’s voice echoed, a!WT wilting back against the wall, the wall now fully supporting her weight as the weight of the words crashed down around her, unable to help but whisper back a helpless,”You don’t mean that.”, but a!Tommy’s cold eyes and careless shrug confirmed the Vice Presidents worse thoughts.

Everyone knew everyone knew everyone knew-

“Who are you talking to? Praying to some god you’re hoping will answer- why would they help you? Everything was in your hands… you could have saved me.”, a!Wilburs tone suddenly changed, and a!WT straightened, instantly looking back at the President. It’s face was now covered with a mask a!WT knew they got from a!Dream.

“What?”, a!WT asked, feeling incredibly wrong footed with how this had changed, but not questioning when it had had the chance to put on the mask. She also didn’t question the way a!Tommy was now standing beside a!Wilbur, and the feeling of being watched became stronger.

“You could have fixed things, fixed us. You could have not betrayed everyone you ever met, but everyone knows, and always did. We are all damned to a cursed existence because of you. And you are not going to escape punishment for your crimes”, a!Tommy and a!Wilbur spoke in unison, voices eerily similar as they both drew weapons, a!Tommy hoisting a bow and a!Wilbur with a sword.

There was chanting now, and the clicks of a clock. “We all know”, was being repeated over and over, in perfect time with the ticks of a clock that were getting steadily louder, and quicker as the pair in front of her advanced.

“No, no- no nonononono- NO-please, I’m sorry Please-“,a!WT couldn’t back up any further, shrinking down and she finally realized that tears were streaming down her face. The clocks were getting louder, and a!Wilbur was drawing its sword back, preparing to swing.

The sounds reached a crescendo before all the voices merged into one, sounding like every single person she’d ever loved or cared about. She was surrounded, but completely alone, with no one on her side. Only the ticking of the clock was there now, echoing in the silence.

“They all know. Traitors like you deserve to die alone, and your time is up.”, a!Wilbur said, mask disappearing to reveal their grinning face swinging it’s sword swiftly at a!WT’s face, as a!Tommy let the arrow fly in the same direction.

~*~

Right before the weapons hit, a!WT woke up, gasping for air, pushing herself away from the desk she had been sitting working at until she’d fallen asleep. The force of her startled push pushed her backwards in the chair, hitting her head on the ground once she fell.

“What the fuck-“, she mumbled, sitting there for a moment with a hand over her face and her other under her head, staring up at the ceiling. A!WT’s chest heaved with frantic breaths as though her body was making sure that she was still alive.

For a moment the girl simply laid there, staring up at her ceiling, unaware of the tears streaming down her face as she tried to convince herself it was all a dream. But was it? Maybe everyone did know…

“I’m so fucking stupid.”, she mumbled to herself, sniffling slightly as she crawled out of the chair and stood up shakily, glancing out the window, glad to find it was only barely sunrise. That would give her some time to try and make herself perfectly presentable before any of the remaining citizens saw her. She couldn’t let them see her like this, she was all they had left right now. The president hadn’t sent a letter, and a!Tommy hadn’t replied. Maybe they didn’t need her….

Deciding to busy herself in her work, a!WT stumbled back over to her desk, setting her chair the correct way around before flopping down onto it, and pulling the papers towards her. Might as well try and finish figuring out the details for the weaponry they had.

As she tried to distract herself, and the sun rose, the girl couldn’t quite shake the feeling that everyone around her knew, and were just waiting for the right time to expose her as a traitor. The morning sun and the tedious work may have burned away her clearest memories of the dream, but a!Tommy’s words were burned in her memory. They didn’t need her, and her time was running out.

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-Draft Day- |J. Hughes|

“Char, you know as soon as they announce his name, you’re the first person he’ll try to find.” Trev says, messing with his tie. Tonight was the 1st night of the NHL draft. Jack is expected to go number one, Trev and Alex not far after. I was super excited for all of them but I wasn’t able to be in 3 places to sit with all of them. Trev and I had shared every little thing since we were born, might as well share this too.

“Well good thing he’s not that far away.” Jack says, turning around and smiling at me. Alex and Madi are in the row behind us. Madi and I had gone shopping for draft dresses a few weeks ago. I had bought a gray, short, off the shoulder sweater body con dress. Madi’s dress was a black, short body con dress with puff sleeves. She had paired her’s with nude heels and I had worn mine with black knee high heeled boots that made me almost as tall as Jack. Jack was wearing a blue suit with red stripes and a red and blue checkered tie. Trev had on a black suit with a light blue tie. Alex’s suit is my favorite. It’s light gray with a navy blue tie. Jack turns around and looks at me again.

“Trev’s right though. You’re the first one I’m looking for. So you’d better be ready to kiss me.” I laugh and lean in to kiss him.

“Baby baby! Not yet! I don’t want lipstick on my face when I get called up!” I roll my eyes and lean back in my seat, crossing my legs, my dress sliding up apparently too far for Jack and my brother’s comfort.

“Seriously Char? Pull it down!” Jack says loudly. Luke laughs and looks back at me.

“For real Charlie! No one wants to see that!” Trev says, pulling my skirt down for me. I roll my eyes and Madi laughs. The announcer comes on and asks everyone to take their seats and I reach over, taking Trev’s hand.

“Welcome to the 2019 National Hockey League Draft. Our first draft will be from the New Jersey Devils.” Jack shifts anxiously in his seat and Trev reaches down with his free hand to pat his shoulder.

“With the first pick overall, The New Jersey Devils are proud to select, from the U.S. program, Jack Hughes.” Jack stands up, the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on his face. He immediately turns around and almost falls over the chairs, reaching for me. I stand up and step towards him. Our lips connect and I can feel the smile on his face. After a few seconds, he pulls away. He hugs the whole Hughes family, Turcs, Trev, and Madi, and then makes his way to the stage. He had left his suit jacket on the back of his chair; leaving him in just his button up shirt. It hugs his upper body and arms in all the right places and shows off the muscles he’s worked extremely hard to get.

“Damn, he looks good in red.” I say, leaning back and patting Madi’s knee as Jack pulls the number 19 Devils jersey over his head, his hair sticking up adorably. She laughs and we all sit, waiting for Alex’s and Trev’s names to be called. We politely clap for every guy drafted but all I can focus my mind on is the fact that my boyfriend got drafted number one overall and was gonna be playing in the NHL alongside my brother and his best friend. Along with what will happen after all this is over, what Jack and I will do when we get home. Jack’s parents and Dukes were all staying at Quinn’s apartment in downtown Vancouver. My parents and Alex’s parents were all at a hotel about 20 minutes away from Quinn’s apartment. But since this is a big couple weeks for the boys and they would be coming and going so frequently, the parents all pitched in and booked the 5 of us an Airbnb for the next 2 weeks. While Trev was the third wheel to both couples, I’ve been woken up by him sneaking a few girls out at 4 in the morning before he thinks we’re all awake.

“You’re gonna get hell from all the girls in love with him.” Trev says as they announce the 3rd pick. I shrug, not worried about it.

“They’re not the ones sleeping with him at night. I am.” I say, smirking and laughing. Madi high fives me and I flip my hair.

“Wow, real humble aren’t we, Char?” Alex says, shifting in his seat and putting his arm around Madi’s waist. I smile and Alex gently tugs a chunk of my hair. .

“And with the fifth overall pick, the Los Angeles Kings select, from the U.S. National Development Program, Alex Turcotte.” Alex stands up and pulls Madi up with him. He pecks her on the cheek, not locking lips like Jack and I did. He hugs Trev, his parents and then reaches for me. I stand up, hug him and whisper in his ear.

“I’m so proud of you Turcs, love you.” He smiles and heads down to the stage.

“Madi that’s your boy!” I laugh as she snaps pictures of him.

“I feel like a proud mom!” She says, smiling. Trev’s gotten quiet during the last few minutes. I nudge him, waiting for a response as he stares at his phone.

“Huh? Oh I’m okay. Just, taking it all in.” I can see in his eyes he’s off but I’m not sure why. The management at the Anaheim Ducks had talked to him a while back and had mentioned if he was still there when it came their turn to pick, they’d take him. He was happy about that, since that meant he and Alex would both be out in California, but it also meant he didn’t really have anything to worry about. He’d be getting picked in the first round no matter what.

“And with the ninth overall pick, the Anaheim Ducks are proud to select, from the U.S. National Program, Trevor Zegras.” Trev looks up, almost shocked to hear his own name. He stands up, a goofy grin on his face. I stand with him, pulling him into a hug.

“Trev, I’m so proud of you! This is our dream! Now go!” He pulls away and goes to Mom and Dad, pulling them both into a hug. He finally escapes the row and heads down the stairs to the stage, the big grin never leaving his face. I take a Snapchat of him pulling the Anaheim jersey over his head and shaking hands with the general manager. I caption it ‘Proud of my Bubs❤️’ and post it. Soon, after what seems like hours of watching boy after boy get called up, teammate after teammate of the boys getting drafted, we are finally dismissed and get to go meet up with the boys. We head to the family waiting area and see the boys, all huddled in a group, waiting for us. Madi and I take turns hugging each of them. Jack suddenly pulls me away and kisses me. He kisses me, tongue automatically slipping into my mouth. After what seemed like no time, he pulled away.

“Sorry, I had to finish that from earlier. But anyways, the boys wanna go out. But we don’t have to. I know we had...plans.” He says, very obviously squeezing my ass as his arm sneaks around my waist. I smirk as I see Trev’s face, who obviously saw what Jack did. Surprisingly, he doesn’t come to say anything.

“I’d rather go home. I’m kinda tired plus, I really want it.” I say, “accidentally” brushing my hand against the inside of Jack’s thigh as I turn around to face him. Trev sees that too and finally does come over.

“Seriously you two! What is your deal? Our parents are literally right there! Why not just walk over and tell them you’re leaving to go have sex?” He says, attempting to keep his voice quiet but Madi and Alex still hear and excuse themselves from Alex’s parents, making their way over to us.

“Good lord Trev, keep your voice down! Besides, we all know you’ve been texting some girl all night trying to get her to come hook up with you when y’all go out.” Alex says, elbowing Trev. His face flames red and I almost want to put an end to the embarrassment he’s suffering on his big night but after what he said, I decide not to.

“Okay no need to expose me like that and it was one, okay two girls. So leave me alone.” He says, crossing his arms. We all laugh and Trev’s signature grin returns to his face.

“Okay kids, I need pictures.” Alex’s mom says, coming over and bursting our little bubble. Jack’s hand, which was safely in mine somehow escapes and travels back down to its original place. I roll my eyes and elbow him in the side. His hand goes away and instead, he wraps his arms around my shoulders. He’s going through a phase where he always has to be touching me, no matter how. From his hand in mine to playing with my hair, he’s always touching me. And I’m 100% okay with it.

“I want the boys first then we can do the couples and Charlie and Trev.” Turcs’ mom is a family photographer and really successful in Island Lake, where they’re from. Jack is in the middle, Alex on his left, Trev on his right. They all have the most genuine smiles on their faces. I pull Madi over to the giant NHL draft logo on the wall and we take a few selfies in front of it.

“Charlie, you know that boy is in love with you, right?” She says, glancing up at Jack and nudging me. I look up and catch him staring. I smile and he winks. My stomach drops and I get butterflies.

“Yeah I know, Mads. And I’m in love with him.” I say, smiling and hugging my best friend.