#wait one more thing This show is sooo pretty even if you dont like the actual art style of the characters its still like gorgeous nonetheles

[love44lew]

kinktober day one: in heat

彡driver max verstappen x fem!reader

彡genre smut (with a little plot), sub!reader, softdom!max, a little dumbification, petnames, unprotected, dirty talk, multiple rounds, reader gets put to sleep #melatonindck

彡summary you wake up from a nap uneasy

彡notes october is my favorite month of the year!! i should’ve started the first but whatever 🙄🙄

彡warning sexual content

———👻————-🦈-————👻———-

you plopped down on the couch next to max. you had just woken up from a nap with and ache in your lower stomach and in between your legs, you thought it was just your period but that had already passed a week ago. you didnt know what was wrong with you. 

your panties were soaked and your palms were clammy. probably had a wet dream, but now that wet dream has effected your real life and you need help. you lie in a fetal position with your hands pressing your lower stomach. max placed his phone down and ran his baby soft hands down your back, moving his thigh a little so your head can rest on it. “whats wrong liefde?” his brows furrowed as his face showed genuine concern. you just groaned in response, your nose nuzzling into his thigh with your eyes shut. “baby” he tucked some hair back from your face.

your eyes fluttered open as your gaze locked on him. your puplils dilating a little wider upon seeing his face. “my pretty girl, whats wrong with you? are you sick?” he placed the back of his hand on your forehead. you were a little warm, but its naturally cold in the house so you were all wrapped up in your blankets. “mm-mh” you shook your head. “cramps?” you shook your head again. “i cant help you if you dont use your words” he brushed a finger over your eyelid as his hand cupped the side if your face. “t-touch me, please” your legs slightly shivering as the words managed to collect into anything but a slur. “ima need you to be more specific, i’m touching you right now” he lifted an eyebrow and you whined a little in frustration with his slight naiveness.

“touch my body while you fuck me. fuck me please, it hurts” your breath hitched and your voice cracked as you sat up. without a word max began stripping off his clothes. you quickly threw aside your shirt which was the only thing you had on. you turned around your knees dug into the soft cushions and your back arched as you waited dripping for him. max slapped his heavy cock on your cunt, your legs shaking a little. “so fucking wet for me” he rubbed his shaft between your folds before positioning himself aligned with your dripping cunt.

his cock sunk into you, air released making a funny sound. max giggled, “pussy talking to me, huh?” his hand landed hard on your rear mounds. the sting was so sweet your hips thrusted back onto him.

he continued thrusting into you as your bodies moved in synch with each other. he reached his hand over to grab your wrists, holding them behind you as his other hand lay on your lower back. his cock dug deeper than before, your cunt making wet noises as your slick coated his shaft. “mm doll, you’re taking me so well” his voice rung sweetly in your ears. you hear nothing but the sounds of your own muffled moans him pounding into your soaking hole.

you felt like you could go on for hours without being completely satisfied, which is exactly what happened. you both came in 5 different positions and your cunt still wanted more, your legs were so tired and you could barely collect words together or even form a thought. the pressure had relieved a bit but his cock felt sooo soo good and you took him so well he couldn’t get enough of your cunt either.

“my dick might fall off if we keep this up” your mouth tugged into a weak smile at his remark.

“you like it when i make you cum back to back though..” he sat up and tapped his thigh signaling that you get on. you straddled him as you slowly sunk down onto his still very prominent arousal, using his shoulders as leverage. you rested your temple on his shoulder and felt yourself start to slip away. max pushed his shoulder forward forcing your head up as your tired eyes stared into his.

“stay awake, just a little longer.” your head tipped to the side as you sigh. “here, hold my hand” he whispers, taking your hand in his as your fingers intertwine.

his other hand grips on your hip, squeezing until it feels like its bruising—like you didn’t already enough of those. you gripped your hand on his shoulder and tried to lift yourself but you came crashing down as soon as you went up. you whined as your head fell onto his shoulder.

“i know baby, i know.” he rubs circles on your hip with his thumb. max adjusts himself causing you to let out an involuntary whimper.

he lets go of your hand and slides both of them to under your bum to hold you up to slowly let you back down and then up again. you feel his strong arms and chest flex with every movement. he groans when you rock your hips for him to go faster. his hips buck up into you, you yelp at the sudden force.

“sorry, sorry” max kisses your cheek along with a trail of apologies.

“dont s-stop” you whine out and he obliged, bucking his hips up again and again. he fucks you so good you could feel another orgasm approaching with every time he hit the spots you didn’t know existed but stung oh so good. “oh fuck-“ you felt another thick knot welling up in your core. you hugged him closer your moans and whines muffled into his shoulder.

your walls spasmed around him as your legs began to quiver.

“are you close, mijn liefje?” he asked panting a little. you just nodded, too drunk on bliss as his shaft continues to bruise your cunt.

“fuck—me too” his cock twitches inside your gummy walls.

“you want me to fill this pretty pussy again? hm?” his voice quivered a little. you nodded once again.

his pace picked up as his own climax came near. max’s tone went up a little higher than before, his groans and moans shifting into panting and a couple whimpers here and there.

“fuck fuck fuuuhh~ fuckfuckfucshitkfuck” as he pumped pearly ropes into your cunt, your own climax followed shortly behind. you now using his arms as support to grind your clit down onto his base. waves of pleasure washed over you as your body shivered and shook. your body had given out, passing out in his arms, with his cock still buried deep in your walls.

“liefde?” max called to you between pants, none to his avail, no response. a smile creeped on his face,

“i put my baby to sleep, hm?” he said to himself quietly as he felt all your muscles relax, your body melting impossibly further onto his. with his soft, plump lips, he landed soft kisses on your shoulder and neck, rubbing circles up and down your back.

[kennysimp101]

i’m begging for an Aj imagine where he dates a (female) f1 driver for red bull and in the beginning his friends don’t believe that they are dating cause of how pretty she is 🙏🙏🙏

btw love your work 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

"No chance": Aj x reader ☁

A/N: Hello Anon!! Im not a big Aj girly but I love f1 so ofc I loved this idea. I tried my best but it's like I forgot how to write 😭

Also, thanks Love <33, appreciate all of yall, and sorry for the very late update

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You and Aj have been dating for 5 months. It's been amazing. You are a racer and this year you got signed with the leading team in F1, Redbull. You were overjoyed and had your first race in a week. You invited Aj and told him to get his friends along as well. 

A week later

The first GP was in Baku, and you had just reached. You went to your hotel and were planning to have lunch with Aj and his friends. You had never met them but you had watched a few of their videos when Aj showed you their channel, and you thought they were hilarious. Aj texts you to come downstairs. You go to the reception and you see Aj standing. “AJ!!” You shout and run over to hug him. You hadn't met in a week since you were so busy with practice. “Y/N, I missed you soo muchh” He says hugging you back. “Are we ready to go?” You ask about the lunch. “I just need to go to my room and wait for the guys to get ready too” He replies “Okayy, im just gonna go get ready as well” You both go into the elevator, Aj gets off on the 3rd floor, where u see his friends, wave slightly before the elevator goes to your floor.

Aj goes to his friends. “Your telling me you pulled her??” Kenny asks. “NO CHANCE MAN BROS LYING” Chunkz shouts louder than expected. “Yeah??” Aj replies confused to all the commotion. “Aj, you know your my friend right? Like we live together and im so close to you, but i call bullshit” niko says. “Aint no way shes your girlfriend, shes too pretty” sharky added on. “I cant believe this man. HOW DO YOU LOT NOT BELIEVE ME?” Aj gets upset. “Nice one bro, its gonna be a great video for you” Chunkz laughs and the rest join in. “I dont even care, just go get ready in 10 minutes for lunch” Aj says as he shakes his head and goes to his room.

10 mins later

All the guys meet up downstairs and are waiting for y/n. “Sooooo your “girlfriend” isn't here yet huh aj?” Niko says, air-quoting girlfriend. “She's coming omg guys believe me she's my girlfriend,” Aj says getting sick of his friends. “Right right we totally believe you bro,” Sharky says sarcastically. Then y/n comes out of the elevator “AJ!! Here!” you shout at him. “Y/N!!” He says back as you walk towards him and his friends. “Guys this is y/n my girlfriend, and y/n this is Niko, Chunkz, Sharky, and Kenny,” He said pointing at each one. “Hey guys, im glad I can finally meet you all!” you say while smiling. All the guys stand with their jaws dropped. “SEE I TOLD YOU!” Aj shouted at them. “What?” you say confused. One of them, you remember as Chunkz says “We saw you in the elevator before, and since youre soo pretty, we just assumed Aj was making this whole thing up as a prank, and we didn't believe him at all… Clearly we were wrong”. You laugh while Aj stands there pouting. “But why?” Kenny asks. “Cause y/n is beautiful, kind and ambitious af?” Aj says like it's the most obvious thing. “No I get that, i was wondering why she would choose you, she's literally a goddess-looking F1 driver, and you're a rat,” He says and all the boys laugh. “Awww, he may be a triangle, but he's a cute triangle” You reply which gets then laughing even more. Aj smacks your arm as you giggle. “She's funny too?? Damn Aj you got nothing over her” Niko says as all of you walk out to go to lunch.

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Kinda short so sorry about that, finals approaching BUT IM TRYING TO START POSTING AGAIN SOOO YAYY. Also I went off the story so many times lmaoo (Thats y the ending is shit sorry). Im gonna try and finish up all the requests I have soon, then I was probably gonna put some f1 fics (Open to requests too)

Anyways love yall <33

[atlaskrr]

webtoons I've read recently that i enjoy!

I finally read our walk home! its rlly sweet and i cant wait for it to come off hiatus. i instantly got hooked by the characters. i like how its a they get eo thing and not an actual rivals to lovers thing. idk it feels more special. and the characters mentalities being explored is sooo good man. im also curious on the lot abt the angel and devil + akis brother. on a side note if i were either of them id fold so quickly cause why they both so pretty. their interactions are so cute man. its soft, genuine. i like it.

peace restaurant. love it. was reading it and i was like damn fknally something that gives me what yohaji did (tho not the same obvi) it is only starting on en ver (7 free chaps iirc) and i was so hooked i ended up reading all the kr released chaps on aggregator sites. im so confused and sad bcs it stopped at chap 28 back in nov 2023. still its really good. i love the dynamic between sua, belial and nhedhuk. they are so found fam to me. like nhedhuk is obvi the younger sibling and belial is her older brother. sua is their unconventional mom. speaking of belial his development was really nice. the way his fear was all the ppl he cared abt dying (INCLUDING SUA AND NHEDHUK) im scared abt whats gonna happen with him with how 28 ended off tho 😅 i think i have a thing for op female mcs (ty bofuri) and also this is why for one of the very few times the mc is my fav chara followed closely by the 2 deuteragonists. comedy that grows plot gotta be my new fav thing. in the beginning tho i love how every time you think smth serious will happen its just another gag. anws the whole dimension ordeal is also cool.

ok this thing had me clicking from its artstyle. i think yohaji made me a comedy person cause this is a comedy as well. i continued reading the few short chaps cause it was silly and sweet. this ghost truly is just a kind and pathetic thing. the fact shes mute is also really nice as the creator actually competed twice and placed in silent manga competitions (which were really good btw. go check out volpee). when the managers were introduced i thought plot was coming but nope! but also i was even more hooked cause the design for mr. h??? love. the vibes and style is immaculate. the ghost of cloth is also really silly and has a nice design lol. there was no ep last month but its back on now! oh yeah the toy ghost is really cool as well. somehow they can still make it expressive despite its still face. the whole remote control car situation had me cackling tho lmao.

OH MY GOD PROJECT CAMELLIA HAS LIKE 6 EPS AND ONE IS A AUTHORS NOTE THING BUT DO I CARE??? NO. the pretty boy cover enticed me and im so glad it did bcs it seems so promising. the author note had stuff about their process and the future and the way they thought it through, how the 2 mcs change eo and it shows PHYSICALLY. in love. the way they plan to change the main mc throughout the story has me scared and excited. it seems like they can handle chara development well which is something i value highly as i read for charas most of the time. the art style is also really nice. if you check out the creators insta you can really see how skilled they are like the art there looks majestic (theyre a danmei fan). apparently therell also be a yuri side couple 👀 basically, the future seems bright for this webtoon.

i hust finished catching up to the tl ver of the students of illip arts high cause the en is new to webtoon just like peace restaurant. i was hooked by the unique style used for the vr game and how so yi and han sol bonded and allat. their relationship is so ough to me. dakyung is also a fun chara and for seiun idk she seems kinda pretentious. i dont like how they dealt with eppys chara either. still its early on so even though the charas besides mc seem to not have as much impact as they could it has much room to grow.

[onemorecupofcoffee]

k so once a complete unknown comes out idk what i'll do. first off i have no idea if ill be hyperfixated on bob but it's been a LONG hyperfixation so yknow. maybe. and it's honestly only probably gonna be a year bc theyve made us wait sooo long and theyre done with filming and theyve recorded most if not all the songs and post production shouldnt take long bc theres not like huge cgi shit so. which means theres a good chance itll be out before winter 2025 . now i have irl friends who are timothee fans who want to see the movie when it comes out. so a lot of timothee fans will def go see the movie, but the general population?. i honestly dont know its def marketed more towardsa general audience but like its not like wonka was the biggest movie of the year or anything or the songs went off the charts. but my prediction is that one dylan song that wasnt as popular before will trend on tiktok or something bc timothee covered it and timothees version will become more popular than the og. idk which song bc im honestly not sure if theyre gonna do just any bob song or only the era presented in the movie. if its the era in the movie i think its gonna be an another side of bob dylan song bc that entire album is pretty underrated, except for my back pages it's not that popular for dylan, and it has a lot of lyrically amazing songs. im thinking maybe i dont believe you she acts like we never have met, n it would make sense to play in the movie. but it could be any song , like if theyre playing all eras bob then probably one of his newer songs. But a lot of timothee fans are like ok someones gonna get an oscar for something and im like . ugh no. but its a possibility bc oscars suck so then it would obviously become even more popular. theyre not gonna depict dylan correctly though and then people are gonna believe a scene in the movie actually happened and its like NO IT DIDNT just like the doors movie holy shit i hate that movie . but it could be decent it could turn out ok despite the horrid casting . do i think theyre gonna play other songs yes!!! not just dylan other baez, other folk songs definitely it actually seems like they paid attention to some things. the fashion was not it but the set decorators did an amzing job actually so it seems like there was SOME work that went into this movie. now i thijk theyre gonna end it at newport folk festival but they should end it at motorcycle accident but whatever . but its gonna be like mainl dylan i think but they said its an ensemble piece meaning its also gonna be focused on joan and fake suze rotolo/sylvie/ whatever the fuck her name is. and pete seeger bc hes been in a lot of the paparazzi pics so?. hes there too. and maybe woody guthrie hopefully woody guthrie obviously woody guthrie and they filmed in new jersey so its kinda like yeah. but hes gonna be sick so theyre not gonna really show him but theyre gonna show dylan meeting him. i dont think theyre gonna really show dylans childhood, yea timmy went to hibbing but everyone knows dylan lied a lot so no one knows anything about his childhood really. i think the main romance plot will literally just be bob being like choosing between joan and sylvie or some boring shit like that and theyre not gonna understand the weird fucking relationship bob had with joan or anything. but its gonna be dumb straight love triangle bc the writers are boring and not like im not there todd haynes where haynes understood dylan was queer as fuck and made multiple references to dylan being queer insome way theyre not gonna do that. and timmy will NOT top cate blanchett ever but he might win the oscar even though cate literally deserved that oscar. So the world will explode if it gets popular and then someone will cancel bob dylan or something . and bob dylan dies after seeing it "the worst experience of my life" and theyre gonna botch and popify the songssooo bad but theyre gonna get so popular its so dumb everything is dumb and then bob dylan will have a dumb modern resurgence but by people who dont know anything about him

and wont care to learn aside from that dumb biopic im sorry im welcoming new fans but i feel like theyre just gonna not actually wanna learn about him aside from timmy biopic . And its like. come on. but his records will get more popular and more valuable i mean gen z listens to a lot of physical media maybe his tour might be more popular too if hes still alive so in general people are like hey this guys pretty good or something but then everyone will kinda forget about him but sokme people will stay. i think . and then its like some weird shit gets out about him again he says something out of pocket about the biopic and then everyones like thats Odd. and the biopic keeps getting memed out of context maybe a bob meme will become very popular .. and timmy clitoris fans will be like this is the best film ever and petition for it to win best film at oscra s or something dymb andits all dumb stupif shit and then someones like Hey bob dylan was a fuckign faggot and everyone realises bob WAS fafuckin g faggot and its finally recognize d anf then people boycott the biopic bc it erases queer history rightfully so and then some people who dgaf about bob dont like the biopic and then timmy clitoris apologizes saying he didnt know and hes not queer though even though hes a fuciing twink and then bob slike yeha i had gay sex with george harrison. so what and everyones like Ohhh i knew it but those stupid people are like wtf? bob dylna is GAY? and then itslike ok open your eyes and then at the oscars timmy clitoris has to apologize again saying he didnt know bob dylan was queer and everyones like oh its ok but inrreality we hate you and cate blanchett knew it the whole TIME! and then the biopic is burned people burndown their copies of it and its INSANE and everyones INWSNE and then traveling wilbyurys biopic comes out and theres a sex scene with george and bob in like 2030 bc of the beatles biopics too ! and timyms like dsaved is my fav bob dylan album and he triesto join the fandom but everyone boos him and he dies before bob dies and alos never meets bob

[crushedsweets]

back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

alex and tim hatefuck a lot but during one of the times they are getting rough with each other one of them actually gets hurt.

ohhhh my gosh. its late season three, tim is sooo exhausted. constantly having to join jay on all these stupid outings into the woods because hes worried jay will just die if tim doesnt go, meanwhile he knows alex has killed people, has done horrible horrible things. but.

(read more bc it got very long)

but.

they have kinda been having sex for a little while...

tim is pretty sure its an unspoken agreement too. no cameras. no tapes. no telling anyone. and they can be as rough as they want, because who even fucking cares anymore? the first time was in the woods, on the leaves and dirt in the middle of the night. then alex figured out which hotel tim was at, and they did it there. third time, alexs car. and then this time was back to basics, just tim roughing alex up at the doorway of his hotel room, making Sure that the camera was shut off and in the closet, joining tim's. they both bring the cameras every time. probably just habit to carry it around. and at first, they start right up against the door.... then the floor... then the bed and then back to the floor. theres a lot happening. but this is normal for them. its scratching and biting and hissing curses in between messy kisses. and it seems literally like any other time theyve done their little routine, up until the end.

tim is starting to get his shower ready while alex puts his clothes back on and promptly fucks off like usual, except this time he doesnt fuck off, hes kinda just sitting at the little desk in his underwear, squinting down at the shirt he shown up in. tim gives him a very unsubtle side eye. he doesnt want this prick here any longer than necessary. so he snaps something like, what is it. whats taking so long. and alex looks up at him, chest littered in bites bruises, and he mutters that its nothing, but its clearly not nothing, so tim has to sigh and walk over and see what his problem is. and when he gets closer, he notices that alex is looking kinda pale. the bruises showing up more starkly reddish purple against sort of greened, sickly skin. whats with you, he asks again. alex doesnt answer, until tim lightly swats the side of his head and asks again. alex grumbles that he just feels a little....dizzy. at first time is like, oh wow i fucked you so good that youre straight up like sick now? is that it? and alex is all NO >:-( but then it starts becoming clear he really does not feel well, and tim is kind of frustrated because he does still want to shower, and jay is probably going to want to go out looking around the hospital again tomorrow, but tim is a nice guy. he prides himself on still being kind despite the situation hes in. and he does have a little experience with sickly guys who feel like crap and dont know why, so he runs down the usual questions that he asks jay. when did you last sleep? i dont know, yesterday or the day before. have you eaten today? no- wait yes. well what was it? like a protein bar or something i dont know why does it matter??? then, does anything hurt? i dont know, my head i guess. mainly the back of it. and tim thinks back to earlier, and how he had, albeit a bit forcefully, slammed alex into the wall in order to bite the shit out of his neck. and he wonders... hm. could alex...... have hit his head? well, its likely.

so begrudgingly, tim drags alex to the shitty hotel bed, makes him drink a room temperature bottled water, and after wards alex has his head to his knees, empty stomach and pounding head not agreeing with all the water he'd just downed. and as tim rifles through the food he has on him, he wonders, not really for the first time, why they only have ever met at the places tim's staying before. of course, there was alex's car, but that's not really a place to STAY. he tosses some snack stuff to alex, sits on the bed, and asks him, hey, where are you staying these days anyway? alex snatches the food, tearing open one of the packages, and scowls at him. why do you care???? he looks starving. tim gets a scowl on his face too. well, doesnt It fucking like you or whatever? you seem to be its favorite after all, so i dont think it would really let you just sleep on the side of the road. alex sneers, clearly unamused, and keeps eating through a bag of pretzels. of course i have a place to stay, he snaps, and then doesnt elaborate. they sit in silence with that for a little while, tim more uncomfortably than alex. then he stands up and looks for his clothes and says hes gonna go to the ice machine. when he comes back, maybe he had also bought a few more snacks from the vending machine in the lobby. and maybe its a little gentle when he situates a makeshift icepack under alex's head. they dont do any of this after care shit usually, but tim wonders if maybe. well. maybe if theyre gonna keep doing this, then perhaps they should.

[soft4gguk]

Miss Tessa 😖 this is so frustrating but also so good.. i can’t even complain about jk’s actions (or lack thereof) because he and soori has been through so much in a small amount of time and whatever hesitations he had in the past and currently i can’t blame him.. he just want to live inside their bubble but i get the feeling it will pop soon 💔

I get oc’s feeling too because she’s downplayed her emotions so many times and the feeling like you’re only a placeholder until the right person comes back is a sucky feeling. Coupled with the fact they’re still hiding that there’s more to it than being employer-nanny 😭 and all this is soori. She’s like the baby glue keeping the three of them together, and whichever way they go she’ll be the one who gets affected 100%. Love how she is with jk and oc, and im just waiting for the time when she will slip and nana will become mama 🥹 idk if my heart will burst with happiness or sadness when/if the time comes 😭we haven’t read about jk’s pov about all this, what did he think about oc’s revelations? Is it true that he’s not expecting Ira to come back anymore? What’s really holding him back 😖

Anyway i love the friends dynamic. I love how they dont gossip about each other like Joon not knowing about jk and oc when half of their friend group knows. I love how Tae gives jk the realtalk and Mai calls him out on his bs 😂 I love Mai! Such a boss girl 😂

The only thing im not happy about this is why is Mingyu friends with jk lmaaoooooo because he seems like a good guy and if im oc (im not bummer 😣) i’d totally tap that 🍑 🤭

When i saw the chapter is 17k words girl are you okay?? You were sick and you’re able to come up with the chapter so good. I hope you’re feeling better though!! Dont get sick ❤️

hiii <333

I totally agree with you! it's so frustrating because I have so much empathy for him and everything he's gone through but at the same time I'm like well yeah but how much longer can oc hold onto all of this?? :((

and yeah it must be hard for her now that ira is on her mind and she keeps comparing herself to her, feeling like she's under her shadow, or like you said, a placeholder. but a lot of this I do believe is just a matter of miscommunication!! because to answer your question, jungkook really does not want her to come back. there's nothing left there and I think his actions do show that much. he's left with hesitation, yes. but it's not because of her, more so because of what she did. also, in chapter thirteen (I think) he says how he didn't acknowledge the I love you because he thought she hadn't meant it. lmao. he's so DUUUUUUMB 🤯

I looooooooooooove their friendship dynamic sooo much, too. I love writing it, I'll never stop yapping about this lol. and yeah, they're all pretty loyal and wise towards each other. and mai is the BEST. Taehyung bagged fr fr fr. I also love how she bosses him around lol.

MINGYU AND JK ARE NOT ONLY FRIENDS. THEY'RE LIKE, best friends 😭 went to high school AND college together like. oc really is off limits to him but poor baby Mingyu doesn't know!!!! oc is better than all of us from what I can SEE. LMAO.

tbh I did have quite a lot of time to write it hehe. but yeah, the last couple of days I really locked in. it was originally supposed to be maybe 12k... but then I got carried away. specially with the smut and the Mingyu thing lol. but im so glad u enjoyed!! I loved answering this ask sooo much. iluuu <333 xo

[sushiwt]

website update log #20 (December 18th, 2023)

sorry for the 6 day hiatus on this blog, I REALLY wanted to post one 5 days ago, but I decided that i wanted to wait.

5 days later, here i am! the 6 day hiatus did NOT mean i didnt do anything the past 6 days. i did a lot actually, but we will get to that in the moment.

to search for inspiration for the first thing you see when you enter the site, i was looking at more websites on neocities, but my findings either went on two things; they didnt really fit what i wanted, or i didnt like how it looked. at the same time, i was wondering how sick a the steam store page would look like if i was the web designer for valve.

but then i had an idea.

what if my home page IS the steam store page ???

(with my style of course)

before i show you the main menu, i wanna show you the changes i have made on the site (major and minor):

changing the look of the sushiwt/legacy page

i made it so that the legacy page is now contained in a lil box, while still containing the times new roman inside. (i also added the sushiwt cat here as well)

fixed all the legacy websites

i finally took the time to fix the old websites, even though i wont use them anyway lol (i also fixed the issue where the sushiwt site lagged so much, which was definitely my fault because i asked the website to render EVERY SINGLE PIXEL of the background stars, including the BLACK PIXELS, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE JAVASCRIPT THAT WAS DOING THR LAGGING. its fine now tho)

added a little disclaimer telling people that the site is still unfinished.

pretty self explanatory lol. it also gives you a link to the legacy website.

and finally...

the new main menu :3

i took the title, image carousel, and the description style of the steam store pages, and used it as the first thing you see when you enter the site! (with my own style ofc)

dont worry, the cats are just placeholders, but theyre so silly

i couldnt figure out how to do this type of image carousel so i replaced it with dots, which ISNT exactly like steam, but it is close enough for me lol

i was thinking of putting the skills that i have in the user defined tags instead of the description, but i put my socials there instead...

sooo yeah! thats the main menu. keep in mind that this is held together by duct tape and a rope (figuratively), so one dent will make this whole thing fall apart, but that's a me problemmm

this was so hard for no reason because of how much the menu breaks apart everytime i make changes, so i wish i dont have to touch it again hahah, it was fun making it thoo

thank you for reading :>> - sushiwt <3

[pjsk-writin]

I feel like i need to write my thoughts for a while .. hope you dont mind and that it wont bother you.

So.. I dont know why but i was thinking about ships in general.. im not much of a shipper myself in the way that people come up with headcanons and stuff (its really not my thing i dont know how people does it but i find it amazing) the most i can do its just like the ship and giggle at their iconic moments and something like that i guess?

But then i was thinking about project sekai ships.. and i dont know why but- i just love every akito + vbs ships!! All the dynamics they have are so ❤ like i really dont care akitoya, akikoha or akian i love all of them!!! (I like akikoha and akitoya a little bit more but akian grew on me <3) akitoya has taken over my life :D no further explanation needed (i cried during the main story if they fight again ill uninstall the game i promise :"/) all the toya events specially walk on and on (the you are the best partner thing *dies*) and same dreams same colors!! That one is cute in general but akito was so worried for toya the while time 🤧🤧 and the nocturne interlude side stories of their cards and stray bad dog and- and their side stories in general aaaah and an ode for the pure of heart and the end of sounds of a summer festival and how he does things only for toya kahdjsbsjsjbsjsksj ❤️❤️❤️ dont get me started on their area convos!!! Akito being happy because toya is finally doing something that makes him happy (after reading sounds of a summer festival) the one where toya somewhat notices a really small tiny change on akitos hair a feels bad for not noticing properly and akito tells him to not worry about that and that he is surprised he notices something so small, the one where toya says he still has the list of songs akito gave him before starting bad dogs (at the music shop with kohane) the one where he notices toya a little down and they go for breakfast before a show (i dont remember if this one is a default area convo or if its after reading nocturne interlude) they are so ajdkdksks ❤️❤️

akikoha is so interesting and sooo cute! Like the area convo where they wait in the shadow of a building for an and toya because the wind was bothering kohane and when an and toya arrive, toya points it out and teases him and he quickly says to go to the live house alredy kajdjdksjsj and their interactions are funny and cute and- their height difference its so adorable!! And and how he recognizes her talent and determination like in toyas awakening beat/beat eater 3☆ side story!! And they even mention how he got angry about what arata said about kohane being an amateur and stuff (stray bad dog) and then toya teases him about that haha!! and the headcanons people make for them have me dying from cuteness overload they are so ajdjjajfjsju 🤧🤧

akian grew on me surprisingly, an teases him in any given chance xD Also Bout for beside you!!! They can understand each other so well and help each other, and- and they worry and care about each other sjshdjdhdjs <3 and stray bad dog when the moment of her card happens!! And her new year card OMG!! Its from akitos perspective and she looks so pretty and cute and the side story its vbs having fun but stilk worth reading (really cute <3) Also even as a 2☆ she looks so good in akito focus events cards.

Hope it wasnt a bother just felt like.. rambling? A little. (Is this correctly said? *non native english speaker problems 😞)

in this household we do not tolerate akito slander, we love akito shinonome <3 best boy FR!!!

-🦔anon

YOU ARE SOOOO REAL and i have my emotions towards ak.ty but YALL KNOW HOW I FEEEL ABOUT AKIAN !!!! but yes i support you and we heart akito sm <3

[commonpigeon]

lan zhan 🐇

LAN WANGJIIII my specialest of boys...

first impression

ok my first impression was already skewed because i had been told "he was just like spock" and him and wei wuxian "are just like geralt and jaskier in many ways when i think about it..." so i already had my eye on him. but i thought he was insanely beautiful and also kind of mean but with a hidden depth and i loved it

impression now

genuinely one of my fav characters of all time because he IS like spock and he IS like geralt in many ways. i think he feels very deeply and he has a pretty solid moral compass that pulls him between his family and his soulmate. there is so much i could say about how tragic he is but it would be spoilers... but my point is he feels deeply but comes off as repressed to the vast majority of people and i think thats sooo fun

favourite moment

i literally cannot say its a spoiler. but it involves being very tragic and sad and widowed

was trying to think of any other but theyre all spoilers. he only gets better with age. OH WAIT when he fucking ruins all the magic nets during the night hunt that jin ling and jiang cheng put out and him and jiang cheng go toe to toe. theyre sooo funny

idea for a story

umm let me rewrite the fucking ending of the show its so silly he would not fucking want that

i would love for him to get a little holiday. Musical retreat spa day

unpopular opinion

umm not sure. i like him so much more than wei wuxian i am shocked when people like wei wuxian more

favourite relationship

well. it has to be with wei wuxian lol they are fucking soulmates. enemies to lovers. highschool sweethearts. theyve got it all. no but seriously lan wangji loves him soooo much he would destroy himself a million times over if it meant wei wuxian's happiness and prosperity

but i also love his relationship w lan xichen... lan xichen is one of the only people who can read lwj at all and they deeply love one another and lan xichen feels so responsible for him because they are orphans

but also LMFAO him and jiang cheng are so funny they spent like 6 months together trying to find wei wuxian and did not once bond over their shared love of wei wuxian. How is that even possible

favourite headcanon

i love to make him and jiang cheng to have tragic fucked up proxy sex while wei wuxian is dead despite that fact that they hate each other. Like i think they start angry fucking while arguing about wwx and jiang cheng's "hatred" of him and then it devolves into this weird soft thing where they both cry but dont talk about it. And then wei wuxian comes back from the dead and its sooo awkward. how do you tell your soulmate that you fucked his sort-of-brother

[juyomiao]

NAURRR I FORGOT TO SCREENSHOT THE NOTIFICATION💔 but tumblr was being saur cute sisbissnks it was like

juyomiao has posted

we noticed they're one if your favorites❤️

or smthn along the lines of that and ACK IT WAS SAUR CUTE PLS JSBKSNSKSKA-

anyways idk if u can answer the first one but it's still cool hshshshs

✩ do you have/ can you give some not-so-spoiler spoilers for o.o? (hahajahs u made me obsessed w this and im not complaining)

★ your mtl biased member in cravity? (just ur preferences, u may put reasoning if u want :] )

✩ fav/recommended tbz songs? (im really planning on stanning they seem fun ajajasjs)

★ *IF* w1 is really pursuing with the greek mythology shit, which god/goddess (there's a possibility) do you think bin is going to be? (and state ur reasons hshs)

omg tumblr being cute (unexpected)

☆ uhhhh idk how to give spoilers without spoiling everything so all i can say is what i alr said : its getting more angsty bc i like being cruel n ruining things 🤭 BUT dw it will have a happy ending and the funny elements of the fic r not going anywhere bc thats still the most important part to me

★ okay omg this is hard wait

disclaimer ofc i love all the members

minhee : he was my bias in x1 too so even when i didnt rlly stan cravity i still considered him my cravity bias lmao hes also the proof i have a 'type' when biasing idols bc . the minhee - younghoon - sunghoon trinity explains a lot abt it

serim : he was the reason i got more interested in cravity bc i was watching a cravity park episode n realized how fine he was so ,, yeah . kind of surprising bc he was one of the two members i didnt rlly know abt before stanning (i knew minhee hyeongjun wonjin n jungmo bc of produce n knew seongmin taeyoung n allen bc ppl talk abt them a lot) but im so insane abt him to the point something i said after seeing one of his pics became an inside joke in my friend group

seongmin : my bbg hes so cute n pretty n soft n i love his voice so much . n lately i've been wanting to eat him too .

hyeongjun : ofc knew him bc of x1/pdx n already loved him back then but now even more . in the nicest way possible hes insane hes not normal but thats exactly why i love him

this is where it gets more complicated bc i cant rlly rank them ? like probably woobin n then jungmo wonjin n allen more or less on the same level ?? like even i would expect jungmo n wonjin to be higher but . heres a fun fact‼️i watched produce without subtitles ! so i remember little to nothing abt it n had no idea what was going on ⅔ of the time !! bc i used to watch it when they livestreamed it on youtube n then was too lazy to go look for the subbed ep ,, then i got more attached to minhee n hyeongjun bc they were in x1 obviously

that was so long im sorry but u cant give me a perfect opportunity to infodump abt my special interest / hyperfixation n . expect me not to do it

☆ OHHHH OKAY so idk what music u like more so this list might be a bit questionable bc i like everything even noise music . but i'll focus on b-sides !!

walkin in time , only one (obviously , the queen who inspired my fic title) , melting heart , l.o.u , text me back , daydream , espionage , shake you down , scar , salty , goodbye , checkmate , shine shine , insanity , prism , kiss me if you can , hush , kingdom come (i'll never get tired of saying it , tbz were robbed on that bitchass show FUCK MNET) drink it , out of control , nightmares , merry bad ending , hypnotized , russian roulette , one dance , sweet , c.o.d.e , survive the night , levitating , awake , savior

tbz's entire discography is honestly perfect have fun stanning them u wont regret it‼️‼️

★ honestly idk😭😭 when i was younger (n we r talking abt 5yo until 14yo so it was . a while) i was sooo obsessed with greek mythology but my brain just . wiped all that information away😭 so i genuinely dont know

[pwblogarchive]

July 2004

July 5, 2004

“Its Such A Joke How Every Song I Ever Write Is”

we’re getting close. i think we might do one more video for TTTYG. the song is gonna be one thats gonna suprise you, because its our favorite one off the record. if it happens, the band is gonna write the video and act in it- cross your fingers and we’ll see what goes down.

has anybody noticed how cliche, selfserving and overdamatic this journal has become? me too.

peter wentz- president of the FOB drama club

love never wanted me but i took it anyway. and there aint a pill that can keep you from my mind- there aint a siren that can keep me from your window. didn’t you hear the word on the streets? i’m getting by on obsession, baby.

p.s. my hair is now black, im here for your heart.

July 7, 2004

“And I Dont Care If Im Just Like The Boys I Trash In All These Songs…”

heard a bunch of the new academy record- you are gonna be suprised. dont sleep. this thing is good and not just in a “my friends are in this band” kind of good, i’d like it even if i didn’t know those geeks. they are like my little brothers. sorry i cut out of the show fast tonight. im not feeling so great about some friends lately. i don’t get “it” but i get it.

if you have any crazy home footage (like the time you and your brother glued yourselves together or whatever) send it to us. we are gonna include a section for it on the release the bats dvd- send it and a release (a piece of paper saying you release the footage and your image to be used by clandestine industries) to: Release the bats DVD at 900 forest. wilmette, il 60091- we need it this month. expect it to drop this fall around the TBS tour.

peter

we joked about the kids who used to be just like us- sick inside of their own skin.

i dropped an “i love you” thankgod it got caught in the wind.

you shouldnt have come back here alone. i’m a shark, baby. and theres blood in the water.

July 8, 2004

“Clip My Wings, I Don’t Deserve The Sky”

I must confess how much I love touring here and seeing old friends. Please come say hi.

I also must confess my serious ashlee simpson crush.

Peterabbit

July 12, 2004

“I Would Forgive You But You Could Never Forgive Yourself”

sooo. this half of tour has been hot. hot and fun. there has been lots of drama in my life. i apologize for being out of it. so st. louis- i got hot. i got delirious. i made some weird decisions. i smashed a bass. said weird stuff. left the stage. threw up. asked bill from the academy to get me some FOB booty shorts and tell the crowd i quit fall out boy. then i yelled into a megaphone. got into skimpy shorts and ran around on stage playing.

Oh yeah all these ideas seemed really funny at the time, now not so funny.

i apologize for anyone who had to see my legs in shorts.

that was the hottest i have ever been in my entire life.

peter

texas is the reason.

July 14, 2004

“Which One Is It Gonna Be The Smile Or The Voice Cause You Can’t Have Both”

For some reason texas air feels right on my lungs. I can’t wait to hit the coast. The stars out here are playing jokes on me. These shows have felt pretty good too. Me and patrick wrote a new one today, it gonna make you dance.

July 15, 2004

its been awhile. i apologize. i can't say i haven't missed you. i need to write more. i think i start to lose it otherwise.

sometimes it all just feels so fucking on. if you don't get that, i'm sorry i cant explain it. 

seeing this country in the summer in a van leaves me breathless. get off the computer and go out and fall in love with someone or something.

you gotta know you have my heart.

- petey

July 15, 2004

“Its Like Chris Said”

New mexico was great for never having been there before. People were so welcoming. I got electrocuted. That was not so great. I’ve got to stop reading the internet, it bums me out a lot. Okay I’m through with (me) all the complaining. I feel like I am holding my breath all the time. A nervous stuttering wreck, and then you don’t like me anyway. I’ve got it figured out, none of it matters. Either: you love to hate me or you hate to love me. But for the record you are my favorites anyway.

Love peter Oh yeah. Hey j.m. Remember that boy I was always nervous about you hanging out with, the one I hated? When did I become him? I dunno, but I did. I’m sorry. For the record I hope you’re doing alright.

July 16, 2004

There’s a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there’s another part that hopes you didn’t leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.

- petey

July 16, 2004

“Nobody Puts Pete The Baby In The Corner”

Sometimes I just write when I am in a bad mood. And often what comes out is trite and depressing. I am sorry. As I sit here with my posture clearly indicating hours on a glowing screen filled with meaningless words, my middle finger calloused and crooked from writing for hours a day in a notebook that seems filled as soon as a new one it bought. With this keyboard I take AIM on nothing and don’t really care. My wrists feel like they’d slit themselves if I let them, they want out (so do I). Then I remind myself I am out with my bestfriends and having the time of my life. My hotel room was next to a palm tree,

I slept well and dream free.

That was me beng a baby. It happens. You have all always been so nice so don’t even sweat it. Just deal with me getting “emo” sometimes.

P

July 18, 2004

A lot of people have been asking for this. Here’s a bit from our new song- we don’t take hits, we write them….

Find myself on the street out in front of your house so you can kiss safe thoughts good bye. I’m coming up to break your heart. You’re sleeping with the light on like you’re dying to be found out.

I need to take a break from the internet for awhile. I think you’re getting to me love.

- petey

July 18, 2004

“This Place Is A Prison And These People Aren’t Your Friends”

I heard somebody once say “if you love something set it free”

But we’re doomed to crash with these clipped wings

July 25, 2004

“I Aint Dropping No Sympathy… On You Cause Youre Living Lives Way Too Complete For Me…”

its only always been about dropping tears and names. its just a song. so forget all the questions. the stories getting old - but we’ll always be the homewreckers with the hearts of gold.

dont believe in someone who never believed in anything.

July 25, 2004

“No Time For Love, Dr. Jones, We Got Trouble”

I’m gonna miss california. This trip to the west coast was what I needed.

Peter

July 27, 2004

“Status Report”

Lots going on. We’re gonna miss the west coast…. Also. Were gonna have some new merch for warped tour: a shirt that has 8 of our early shirts on it for the collectors, a fob drama club shirt, scene point pins and more. So come by and check it out. Secondly, we aren’t/didn’t play warped in your town because they didn’t ask us to not because we didn’t want to so don’t believe the hype.

Also, our friends in gym class heroes will be playing the bnd tour with us on august 1 in davenport, iowa and then I am setting up a show again for them in chicago on august 3, so come check them out. They are the next big thing, better than atmosphere.

Lastly, I guess some people have told the guys in new found glory we were shittalking them in our dvd. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I knew chad when he was in shai hulud and have always looked up to nfg. That is a band that did it right and I have more respect for than any other band in our genre. We goofed around on a video three years ago to try and trick some girl. That’s it. No drama. So if you are going to warped before we get on it, stop by nfg and tell them fall out boy loves them for us.

There’s no other band out there that did it like them.

Didn’t we tell you the fob drama club was in full effect.

Pete

July 30, 2004

after awhile when you bounce back and forth between different hearts nothing gets old. you never really have to mean anything to anyone. i have intimacy problems with the world. her eyes are blackened around the edges so much that she looks like a racoon. they look like permenant black eyes- the consumate victim. everybody loves the victim. he can’t put his finger on what it reminds him of but the closest he can come are old zombie movies. she’s made-up to look half dead- which still beats most of them who are just half-alive anyway. her hair looked like rows of shark teeth dyed over dye jobs like she was running away from her natural color. noone wants to be what they are. she looks independent in a very vulnerable way. the safest kind of dangerous. we drove around the city so she could alternate between cigarettes and coffee. we talk about the kids we hate just so we have something to agree about. they used to be just like us. we’re sitting on the edge of her bed. every single inch on your body is filled with millions of nerves. somewhere inside your brain neurons have fired to synapses and put them on alert. when your hands brush hers it feels electric. every movement has a meaning, either yes or no. its getting later and later. the conversation and the possibilities are running out. last call. this is a war. everytime she moves her hand to her hair she is sending you signals. stay or leave. why can’t you figure them out. don’t strike first. wait until you are tired enough to make a move. lean in to kiss her bringing an awkward break in conversation. as you pull back she keeps talking about writers and bands she thinks will make her look cooler. but your fooled if only because you are worried she has found you out. push your tongue into her mouth too keep the right words from spilling out. her sheets smell like stale cigarettes smoked by boys who were me on nights before. she has a body that is built for sex. the kind a kid like me wouldn’t know what to do with if we had half the chance. imagine the chemistry of swallowed DNA. she has a scar that runs down her back right along the spine, like somebody tried to steal it. i joked her like this: “someone must have ignored the blue prints, look at all the structural damage”. but i stuttered and trailed off. the smoke curled off of her lips. for a second i was dying to be it. dying to be as clever and kissable as her. there she was sitting in front of me, knee pulled up to to her chin. smoking a cigarrette thinking of something or someone else. and thats how she will be stuck in my mind forever. two explorers in the dark, mapless and hopeless. alone together. its funny how easy it is to sleep with someone, but how hard it is to sleep next to someone. it’s too intimate. it makes my heartbeat race and pound inside my head. it is deafening. i slide my arm from behind her head and slip out the door. the pavement on the sidewalk is watching me go over every moment in my head. it’s watching me remember you. mistake by mistake. frame by frame. we’re not just taking trips down memory lane, we are broken down on it.

- petey

July 30, 2004

“Gbet Down With A Sickness”

i am sick. colorado was insane. sorry the show sold out so quickly, we had no idea. somebody bring me some fireworks to the iowa shows so i can shoot them at people and feel better. this is a part of this other book i have been working on: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal its a bit different than the boy with the thorn in his side.

you have no idea.

peter

[rrxnjun]

stress is deff a bitch but i feel like me and stress are the same now so🤡🤡

it's the 20th of august🤭 nooo that's a bit sad that u couldn't add urs but ur still a king for adding three birthdays in there🫡

WELL I HOPE THAT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!!🤣 whaaattt that's such a long time oh my but the fact that u still had it is jaw dropping tbh

i don't understand why middle aged women have to be so rude sometimes☹️ wait i completely forgot that accents exist oh my god now thats even worse🥲 YEYY U SHOULD ARANGE ONE IN OCTOBER AS WELL COME TO THE 5SOS SHOW WITH ME/j (i'm heartbroken i have no one to go with so i probably can't attend) (i hope this doesn't break ur heart more cuz i saw ur posts about them sorry if it does☹️☹️hope i didn't cross a line with this joke☹️)

NOT TELLING ANYONE🫢 i look up to u for that cuz i'm still pretty much unable to do i suck💔 SO TRUE THE BEST DESCRIPTION I HEARD OF THEM JUST SOME GUYS!! i was so sad when yedam and mashiho left and i understand the soft spot he is such a lovely guy🥹 being a treasure stan is fun and a heartbreak but glad u admit now that ur a teume 🥲😌 ofc ofc we are sharing😵‍💫 HE IS SUCH A MENACE AND ITS SO FUNNY tbh he was the reason why i came back to tumblr cuz i wanted to see more content and things about him then i ran into the same problem as u that there are not that many writers in the fandom here tbh (or i just can't find them)💔 (sooo if u end up writing something for jihoon i will be waiting🫣)

IT SHOULDNT BREAK UR HEART IM SORRY IT WAS A CRY IN A POSITIVE WAY!!! i think it just means u portray emotions well (?) cuz every time there is a good sad scene in movies or books i just have to fight the tears back even when i was in a good mood before💔 AND THANK U FOR BEING AN AMAZING WRITER AND JUST BEING LOVELY AND READING MY LONG ASS REPLIES LMAO U ARE JUST TOO NICE OF A PERSON💖💕💝 (liebestraum anon💕)

omg 20th august is such a good bday to have im noting it down!!! 😌😌

IT IS the fic was originally supposed to be a part of collab but the writer deactivated and cancelled it but when i asked if i can keep the idea they were ok with it!! so yeah hopefully one day 💓

LOOK lets go to the concert together 😭😭 im like,, half serious and half joking 😭😭😭 i keep telling my mum about it and like the bus tickets to budapest are only 7€ and then i can find a cheap hotel and shit and i have money saved for the tickets 😭😭😭 like. budapest is objectively the closest stop to me ((even tho im still salty there is no vienna then i would go for sure) and i wanted to visit anyway 😌 but my mum doesnt wanna go w me and my dad doesnt either and i have no friends that would wanna go w me either and i am not allowed to go alone so. theres that 😭😭 i dont think ill get to go tbh im still kinda heartbroken but oh well its not the first time :// if i didnt live in such a shitty ass place this would all be easier 😭

girl i think its a miracle tbh but i got the names down. thanking my hyperfixation tendencies 💓💓💓 when i saw it i was so shocked tbh and now i keep getting sad mashidam edits on my tiktok fp and living through the pain LMAO. GIRL my crush on jihoon is getting out of control like genuinely what the fuck is happening to me- WHY IS TEUMEBLR SO DRY THO WHERE ARE THE FICS ??? i found like 3 fics and the rest are like 2 years old headcanon posts its such a struggle 😭😭 do i really have to do everything myself on this site.... (dont feed my delusions but give it a few months and if i dont fall out of them i can see myself creating a seperate treasure blog.....got a jihoon drabble idea the other day but. i will contain myself. so far he's the new main side character of the mark fic im writing 🥴)

awh you are too sweet 😭😭😭😭 thank u so so much !!!! this means the whole world to me 💓 once again was happy to hear from u, hope youre doing well ily xx

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

SEL…… T__T the way i would literally die for you. i really wanna take the time to thank u properly so this might get long shjdihisu i dont wanna clog up ur inbox so!!! ill just write it here. hopefully u can see it and tumblr doesnt eat up your notifs too :’3 im so sorry u had to write all of this TWICE thats awful, tysm for taking the time…… :’’3

FIRST OF ALL i love you…… im picking u up and spinning u around. youre so sweet!!!!! i cant wait to return the favor once i get the time to binge col hehe >:3 but honestlyyy thank you!! i was sobbing while reading all you wrote aaa ur too kind!! <333

it was so fun seeing all the lines you liked!!! im so happy u thought ”decisive slice of heaven” was pretty🥺🥺u said so many sweet things abt my writing…. tysm <3 😭😭 ur so attentive to how people write, its honestly so admirable!!! <33 i was reading all ur comments like this

im also so relieved you enjoyed my take on gojo’s death bc like…. it hurt me so bad to write but i dont think it felt very awful for gojo at all????? he just looks so at PEACE in that one panel that im like… okay. im fine. totally not falling to my knees thinking abt how he looks more at peace dying than we’ve ever seen him….……… 🥲🥲 i really wanted to show that feeling of resignation/peace/relief(?) that i think he prolly felt, along with the not-exactly-fear-but-similar that even he cant avoid feeling. so its such a relief that it came across well !!

im so honoured you think the character writing is accurate too…. u have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!!!!! fr!! i love being delusional n self-indulgent in the way i write characters, but w/ this specific fic i really wanted to capture at least a lil bit of canon gojo and geto so!!!! im just so happy that you thought it felt real !! <33

and sel🥺🥺🥺🥺everything u wrote for the stsg dialogue….🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺u almost made me cry spdnhxhdjd thank u!! sm??!!!! im genuinely sooo ecstatic that it resonated with u <333 im a stsg enjoyer at heart so i really wanted to do them justice, their interactions in 236 absolutely RUINED me sel… its so insane to me how genuine gojo feels whenever he talks to suguru yknow?? like thats his BESTIE and i feel like he’s also the only person gojo feels comfy being weak around…. theyre so special to me sob!!! im so insanely happy that you enjoyed their interactions :’))

and i agree with u sm!!! i think the question of gojo’s wants & happiness is so INTERESTING to explore n ultimately i always end up with just. him wanting a slice of normalcy. just little things like buying ice cream with his friends in high school, taking his students to the movies, going to a bar with shoko and nanami... etc etc. i just feel like those tiny moments are what gojo treasures most in the world

my heart aches sososo much at the airport scene because it really feels like he’s envisioning a dreamlike scenario where he gets all that he wants, and thats…. just his youth back. just being able to laugh with his best friend again. and its such a small wish but that makes it so heartbreaking to me sel :’3 he wants so LITTLE and he cant have it bc his entire existence just encompasses so much…

aaa im so happy that you mentioned the whole god/human thing too!! gojo as a character is so fascinating to me bc he just boils down to this idea of like…. what if we took a random boy and made him into a god? what if we gave him so much strenght that he’ll never quite be seen as human by the world? will that boy be able to live and still love others, even though they’ll never reach him? and i think akutami’s way of writing that is SO good. it also ties into how similar he is to figures like the buddha, or generally just mythological heroes and stuff. he’s so tragic and good, and also undeniably human, and that’s like… his one great weakness. which is heartbreaking!!

aaa and it means sm coming from u too!!! ur gojo feels so so human and real to me, it was the first thing i thought when i read ur fics!! like you really capture his more vulnerable subconscious and that part of him thats soo human even though he might try to hide it and its just. heart wrenching to me 😭😭 he feels so genuine to me

AND SEL….. ur so so RIGHT about gojo. like you get him so well. it makes me wanna ramble so bad bc everything you said is just so TRUE. the way everyone needs him, the world needs him, and he CHOOSES to bear that weight even though he could just throw it away… he could easily run away and let everything go to hell but he doesnt, and thats so……… idk. it makes me insane. it just really shows his kindness n humanity, he isnt a saint or anything but he just… deals with sm and never complains T__T

AND HONESTLY THE WHOLE BINDING VOW THING….. ive been hoping for it to happen ever since the shinjuku fight started LMAO, i just think itd be the perfect end to gojo’s character arc!!! forcing him to live without that gift, and letting us see for ourselves if he still remains the same… and IF it really does happen (i still have hope lmaoo) i think we’re going to see that he will!! he may not be the strongest but nothing will change, he’ll still be our gojo :’3 

aaa overall i just wanna say tysm for writing this all out sel…. T__T twice at that!!! youre honestly so sweet im just. exploding rn LMAOO thank you for all ur kind words abt my writing n everything!!! it means sm!!! and thank u for taking the time to read it in the first place <33

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru gojo chooses north.

word count; 5.2k

contents; satoru gojo, canon divergence, HEAVY jjk spoilers (for chapter 236!! but also kinda 237), fix-it fic, me coping w/ the manga for 5k words straight, canon-typical violence and death, implied stsg, probably non-canon compliant use of binding vows (but do i care? no), gojo satoru lives.

a/n; yeaaa this is literally just me coping <3 needed to write this for my mental health. he’s fine guys trust me

the experience is not altogether unfamiliar, on its own.

he’s felt it before. even now, he can still vividly recall it; a girl he failed to protect, a boy he failed to save. a man with a scar on his bottom lip.

that sickening numbness, as he lied in a pool of his own blood. sticking to his hair and tattered clothes, the colour red flooding his subconscious. that cold, cold sensation — a jarring shift, chilling and ruthless, going from everything to nothing. tiptoeing the line between life and death. 

emptiness. sinking deeper into the abyss, that all-enveloping darkness. that awful feeling of pure helplessness.

he could never forget it.

back then, though, gojo is certain he didn’t feel this way. all he could think about twelve years ago was survival — clinging to the weak flutter of his heart, a dying butterfly. clawing his way up to the skies. anything to escape that harrowing sensation, a kind of desperation all humans feel in the face of certain death, spurring him on. but now —

he almost welcomes it. nearly content in its approach. it should frighten him, but it doesn’t.

through half-lidded eyes, vision blurred by sweat and blood and dust, gojo watches the sky.

it's beautiful, he thinks. as beautiful as ever. peaceful, unchanging, soothing in an eerie kind of way. that clear blue, fading a little at the corners as his muddled mind grows just a little darker, a little more fatigued. he can barely gather the strength to keep his eyelids open. 

yet he keeps his gaze on that endless sky, as if it’s all he’s ever known.

with every passing second, the world grows just a little more blurry. pale dots spread around the corners of his vision, like grains of stardust in an ever-expanding cosmos, clouding his senses. there’s a buzzing in his head that won’t go away. everything looks as if it's spinning, and he can barely tell left from right, north from south. everything is growing darker, so fast that it’s alarming, and gojo can’t seem to even think clearly.

but he can still see that blue, blue sky. bluer than he ever remembers it being. even as snow begins to fall, descending upon shinjuku as if bidding him farewell. the sky takes on a gray hue, but that shade of blue is still all gojo can see, as he takes shallow breaths and half-heartedly attempts to remain conscious. willing himself not to give in just yet, choking on his own blood. 

and it's an odd feeling, really. one he never thought he'd meet again, but here it is, it's back — and it's all-consuming. beckoning him into a place he’s never been before. the unknown. 

it's not scary. gojo doesn’t think he has it in him to feel fear, anymore. but it's a strange sensation, as death kisses its way up his neck, sending shivers down his spine; as the numbness spreads, devouring him whole.

it’s unknown. thoroughly and wholly. and that unknown is overwhelming, all-encompassing, it’s all he can see before him, it's —

ah.

gojo takes a deep breath. the air burns his lungs.

everything's ending, isn't it?

it would be so easy. to simply close his eyes, let them flutter shut as that all-encompassing sensation takes him down to earth. to allow himself to simply rest, for a moment. wouldn’t that be nice?

it would be so easy.

gojo watches the sky. it's all he can do. 

the numbness keeps spreading throughout every cell of his body. he can barely feel the blood trickling down his chin, or the harsh bite of the winter cold, his skin buzzing with ache. he can't feel his arms or his legs, and he knows exactly why. everything in the world is closing in on him and god, he just feels so fucking tired.

ah. ah. more darkness. more numbness.

everything and nothing, all at once. slipping away into oblivion. the snow keeps falling but he can't see anything, can't hear anything, can't feel anything, anything at all.

nothing. nothing. less than nothing.

— and then, suddenly, an airport.

"yo."

gojo blinks.

a boy. a boy with black hair, tied into a small bun. a dead boy. his best friend.

suguru stands before him, and he looks exactly the same as gojo remembers. young, bright, with those awkward bangs still hanging over his face. grinning boyishly, and greeting him with youthful cheer. 

gojo feels young, too, he realizes — the weight on his shoulders a little less heavy, the familiar black of his sunglasses obscuring his vision. but he can still see the flicker of suguru’s cursed energy clear as day. as if he never left.

feigning a mild displeasure, gojo makes a face. he hears himself speak, but his mind and six eyes continue to spin in circles, trying to comprehend the sight in front of him. trying to make it understandable, figure out what’s going on. 

but he doesn’t succeed. because it’s impossible to understand. and, really, that’s answer enough. 

huh.

so this is what the afterlife is like?

he inhales through his nose, basking in the clear air, and it doesn’t burn his lungs. his chest feels lighter than it’s been in years.

that seems a little too good to be true. 

"you’re kidding me. this sucks.”

suguru makes a kind of face like he’s pouting, plopping down in the seat right next to gojo’s. the white haired boy stretches his limbs out and huffs, pretending the sight in front of him doesn't send a tremor running through his very soul.

suguru continues to speak and gojo continues to listen, all while observing the scenery in front of him.

the airport looks familiar. through the glass windows he can see a glimmer of the blue sky, and a plane waiting to take flight into the clouds. the air smells of summer and jet fuel and new beginnings. it’s pleasantly cool, a light breeze caressing his skin and coaxing a hum from the confines of his throat. 

(he remembers this airport. remembers having his arms full of vending machine snacks, trailing after suguru as he dealt with all the annoying technicalities. amanai was there, too, watching a plane soar up into the sky with childlike wonder. a little anxious, as she boarded the plane to okinawa, and then back to tokyo.

her first and last flight.)

suguru is there, right next to him, and he’s speaking. breathing. like something out of a dream, the kind that always haunts gojo in his sleep.

he breathes in, and then out. 

suguru is there. and not just him – nanami and haibara are, too. all young, all dead. all somehow breathing; he sees them inhale and he sees them exhale. he hears them speak and it’s like nothing ever changed. 

they speak of regrets, of south and of north. nanami doesn’t seem to regret a single thing, and gojo is glad. even yaga is there, he notices belatedly. even amanai, and her maid, and a certain man with a scar on his bottom lip. everyone all together again.

the airport buzzes with warmth. nostalgia, as suguru’s laughter rings in his ears. and gojo grins, in tandem, bright and childlike. wallowing in the tender atmosphere. 

the sight in front of his eyes is perfect, he thinks. absolutely perfect. a glimmer of spring, one he never quite managed to forget. a vibrant flicker of blue, one he thought he’d lost forever.

his one and only blue spring of youth, right in front of his all-seeing eyes.

a little too good to be true.

with a sigh, gojo stretches idly, smiling a little to himself. his joints don’t ache, his head isn’t buzzing with fatigue, and his heart feels lighter than it's been in recent memory. 

“now i’m hoping this isn’t a dream,” he hears himself mutter, allowing his eyes to flutter shut at last. he can still see suguru’s cursed energy, and everyone else’s. he isn’t alone. what a nice thought. 

and it’s strange, gojo thinks. it really is. he’s dead. sukuna killed him. he’s dead, his remains are lying somewhere in the streets of shinjuku, and that should bother him. he should be punching the floor and screaming, cursing sukuna’s name with every fiber of his being — it should frighten him, the realization that everything has ended.

but it doesn’t. 

gojo isn’t afraid. and he isn’t upset, either. he bears no grudge against anyone, just like that day twelve years ago.

he’s with suguru, now, and his juniors. his old teacher. the people he cares for are with him, and the airport smells so nice. everyone is young, and happy, and none of them will ever have to kill or be killed again. 

calling it anything less than heaven would be doing it a disservice. 

gojo smiles, exhaling a relieved breath. one he hadn’t realized he’d been holding til now, stuck in the back of his throat for the past decade. a tiny thought makes it to the forefront of his brain, like a spring breeze flitting in through an open window.

like this, he thinks, i could die with no regrets.

“— except that’s not true.” a voice proclaims. “is it?”

gojo opens his eyes.

suguru looks at him. everything goes silent. everyone else has already gone blurry, a little faded, as if they aren’t what’s really important. as if the entire world has narrowed down to just this; him, and suguru, in the corner of an airport too precious for words. that one decisive slice of heaven. 

suguru opens his mouth, and speaks, and his voice has a finality to it that fills gojo with a mellow kind of dread. 

they look into each other’s eyes, and both know what’s coming.

“the students are outclassed.” suguru rests his chin on the heel of his palm. ”you said it yourself — sukuna wasn’t giving it his all when he fought you. he still has more than a couple cards up his sleeve, doesn’t he? like his incarnation.”

gojo listens to suguru speak, not saying a word.

“they’re no match for him,” he continues, unperturbed. “all of them are going to die. every single one.”

suguru leans back in his chair, still looking straight into gojo’s eyes. seeing through him, gaze filled with a certain sharpness. a little cruel, but there’s a kindness there, too. as if he’s simply ripping the band-aid off, trying to make it as painless as possible. 

he clicks his tongue.

“and you still haven’t buried my body, either.”

a moment passes. then two.

gojo smiles to himself, rueful. a little saddened. 

“.. damn,” he grins, weakly. leaning back in his chair, slumping against the soft leather. “couldn’t you have kept indulging me for just a bit longer?”

suguru smiles. a soft thing, in the flicker of the light. a little too good to be true. “sorry,” he chimes. “but the plane is leaving soon.”

as if on cue, the pa system sounds.

flight to okinawa; departing in nineteen minutes.

“it hasn’t left, yet,” suguru hums, and it sounds like an inevitability. ringing in gojo’s ears. “you know what that means, don’t you?”

he does. he does, but it still hurts. gojo looks into suguru’s eyes, and sees himself reflected in them — young, transparent. blue. fading, but not quite faded. not quite dead.

and maybe it’s to be expected. maybe he was just trying to delude himself into believing the alternative, into believing that an afterlife as sweet as this could really be waiting for him. maybe it was naive, a childish fantasy. 

but still —

”haah.” a heavy exhale, fatigued. gojo slumps even further into his seat, squeezing his eyes shut. running a hand through the soft strands of his hair. ”oh, gimme a break. and here i thought i could finally relax for once.”

a chuckle flows from suguru’s lips, amused. ”you aren’t the type to go down like that,” he murmurs. ”c’mon, satoru. there are still things you need to do.”

”how?” gojo scoffs. ”i’m split in half. and i’m too exhausted to use my reverse cursed technique.”

”eh,” suguru shrugs. ”you’ll manage.”

gojo shoots him a dubious look. ”you’re acting like it’s a papercut,” he huffs, crossing his arms. ”my guts are on the fuckin’ pavement.”

”oh, quit your complaining already," suguru rolls his eyes, and shoots him an accusatory glance. "i died with a hole through my chest. at least your heart is still intact.”

the white haired boy gapes at him, offended. ”i wanted to make it painless for you!”

”well, it hurt like a bitch. so thanks for that.”

gojo pouts, fighting back a smile. he thinks suguru must be doing the same. and it’s juvenile, a little twisted — but then again, weren’t they always?

suguru cocks his head. beckoning gojo into taking action. ”you’ve still got some fight left in you,” he says, and there’s a fondness to it. ”you always do.”

”get up, satoru.”

silence. unbroken, unperturbed. if he focuses enough, he thinks he can hear the distant buzzing of cicadas, the crinkling of soda cans. the whistling of the wind. placebos; memories ghosting his subconscious. 

it’s quiet, for a while. gojo stares into space, blinking slowly. then he parts his lips.

”suguru.”

the boy in question turns towards him. but gojo looks up, instead — eyes set on the roof, like he’s trying to see beyond it. into the comfort of the blue sky. 

suguru hums, a cue for him to follow. and gojo closes his eyes.

”i think… i might be tired.”

silence. no one says a thing.

”i think i’d prefer to stay here,” he admits, a forlorn look in his eyes. tapping his fingers on his knee. ”in the past, like this.”

the scent of jet fuel and summer lies heavy in the air. gojo inhales it, greedy. as if savouring it. trying to make it a part of his being, filling his lungs with sweet nostalgia so it never goes away.

”we could just stay here. together,” he muses, barely above a whisper. there’s a kind of longing to the tilt of his voice, something soft. ”couldn’t we? never moving forward, or back.”

the words taste salty, on his tongue. an ocean breeze. a whisper. ”we could just stay like this.”

suguru’s gaze trails from satoru, down to his lap. his bangs follow the slow movement, silky strands falling over his eye. the chuckle that drifts from his lips doesn’t have much humour to it. 

”haha… you’ve never been the type to stay in one place for too long, satoru.”

gojo clenches his fist.

”you want me to go back,” he hears himself say, somewhat bitter. ”you want me to go back, and then what? there’s nothing i can do. i’m not the strongest, anymore.”

”you are.” suguru’s voice is firm, decisive. ”you can still win. you know exactly what you need to do. there’s only one way to get out of this.”

gojo sighs. one hand in his hair, tousling it. mildly frustrated. ”… it’s risky.”

”you’re bleeding out.”

”if i do this — i won’t ever be the same.” gojo turns to look at suguru. ”i sure as hell won’t be the strongest, anymore.”

”and would that be such a bad thing?”

silence. the two boys look at each other — one dead and one half-alive, both connected to the other. for eternity. suguru’s eyes are full of understanding, as they look into the blue of satoru’s. 

”there’s always been a gap between you and everyone else. that’s what you said, before. aren’t you tired of it?”

gojo closes his eyes.

that’s right. that aching gap. the solitude that comes with absolute strength — a weight he’s borne all his life. doomed never to connect with others, never to be understood. doomed to always live in the sky, far away from the earth and the ocean.

the title of the strongest. a cross he alone had to bear.

(did he ever really want it? or was he just resigned to it, conditioned from the very beginning?)

the feeling of isolation that’s been haunting him for decades seeps into his skin. the cruel knowledge that no one will ever truly know him; even worse, the knowledge that it’s all for the best. you can admire a flower, and help it bloom, but you can’t ask it to understand you.

such a cruel curse to be born with.

suguru’s voice fills his mind. the flicker of his cursed energy is gentle, like an ocean wave rolling in right before the sun sets. ”you said it yourself, satoru.” gojo can hear the smile in his voice. ”you love everyone.”

love. it always comes down to that, doesn't it? the greatest curse of them all.

(but he could never bring himself to fully throw it away.)

”there are still people waiting for you, out there,” suguru reminds him. and gojo knows that he’s right.

he still hasn’t buried suguru’s body. that thing is still inside his head, doing god knows what. and his students — they must be fighting sukuna, right now. if he’s lucky, no one’s dead yet. if he’s lucky. then there’s shoko, of course. and ijichi, everyone else from the school.

not just that — the world itself is waiting on him. waiting for him to pass on, so it can crumble away. waiting for him to make it, so he can stitch it back together. 

dying isn’t a luxury satoru gojo can afford. he knows that, he does, but —

dammit.

”suguru,” he starts, hesitant. voice more feeble than he ever remembers it sounding. ”what… should i do, from here on out?” a pause. uncertain. ”where should i go?”

suguru raises a single eyebrow, tilting his head. ”do you really need me to tell you that?” he asks, a little teasing. gojo’s reply is instantaneous.

”i do.”

the airport falls silent, again. 

”i’ll listen to you,” he elaborates, tapping the edge of his chair, absentmindedly. eyes shining with a glimmer of something tender. ”so… it has to be you.”

suguru inhales, softly. breathing out in a meek chuckle, with a soft shake of his head. ”well, in that case…”

a smile. he meets gojo’s gaze. ”then i think you should go north.”

gojo looks into his eyes. a moment passes, slow, detached from space and time. their eyes meet, and in suguru’s eyes, gojo sees a reflection of their youth.

what a shame.

”alrighty, then.”

placing his palms on his knees, gojo gets up from his seat. stretching his arms with a soft groan. a sigh flows from his lips, drifting out into the clear air. 

”so much for finally getting a vacation,” he huffs, frowning as he casts a jealous glance at his best friend. ”you dead people have it easy, you know that?”

suguru’s still smiling, but he’s not getting up from his seat. the pa system sounds, again. a little louder this time.

flight to okinawa; departing in six minutes.

a deep breath. air flows into his lungs, and then back out; soaking up the summer air he knows he’ll never quite get a taste of again.

suguru stays right where he is. young, dead. smiling. the same smile he wore when gojo killed him, framed by the setting sun. the same kind of sunset that’s beginning to form outside the translucent windows of the airport, nostalgic and sweet, dyeing the clouds in a soft pinkish hue.

it’s breathtaking. 

”will i see you?” gojo asks, before he can stop himself. eyes still stuck to the setting sun. ”when everything ends.”

…

suguru chuckles, again. rueful. gojo thinks it sounds just a bit meek, a little like he’s holding back tears. ”maybe,” he breathes, shrugging halfheartedly. not meeting his eyes. ”who knows?”

it’s not the answer gojo wants to hear. but he’ll take what he can get.

and finally, suguru gets up. slowly, methodically. elegant, in the way he moves, the way he brushes non-existent dust off his baggy pants. smiling, hair swaying softly with the breeze. gojo finds his gaze, and that smile shifts into a lazy grin. one so distinctly suguru that it can’t possibly be just a figment of his imagination. 

”don’t find out too soon,” he quips, teasingly. ”alright?”

a slap. gojo doesn’t see it coming, and it knocks him forward — he stumbles slightly, lanky legs moving clumsily, sunglasses falling off at the impact. his back stings, a little. 

over his shoulder, he looks back at suguru. the boy has a hand raised, and his grin is playful, brimming with warmth. except he’s no longer a boy — now he’s wearing traditional robes, hair much longer, face a little more hardened. but that grin is still the same as ever. gojo thinks he looks almost proud.

”go get ’em, satoru.”

gojo blinks.

the grin that breaks out across his lips, then, is wide. bright, brimming with youth, lighting up every corner of his face. almost overwhelmingly sweet. it envelops his very being, as he stands there, clad in his black compression shirt and baggy pants. hair a little less messy than it was in high school, face a little more hardened — but he hopes his grin, at least, looks the same as ever.

he turns his back on suguru, and puffs out his chest. trying to hide the sappy smile still lingering on his lips, the glassiness of his eyes. his voice comes out loud, cheery, echoing throughout the airport — but still somehow so tender.

”roger that!”

gojo looks ahead. the airport is blurred, a little hazy, but a bright light shines farther up ahead. a beacon for him to follow, one that blinds him if he looks at it for too long. blue, white, golden — the colours of the sky. beckoning him forward, to a familiar place.

he takes one step north.

”ah, satoru. one more thing.”

the sound of suguru’s voice stops him in his tracks. ”hm?” gojo turns on his heel, white hair tousled by the soft breeze. a little confused. ”what is it now?”

suguru grins. the whole airport smells like spring. 

”—, — —.”

…

one long, tender moment passes by. gojo doesn’t even breathe, mouth falling open slightly, in a way that must look comical to the man in front of him.

the airport glimmers like a marble in the sun. transparent, blurred, but still somehow so real. suguru’s words echo in his mind. 

then gojo laughs, the sound bubbling up from his throat like seafoam on a scorching summer day. hearty and deep, coaxed out from the very bottom of his gut — genuine. a little breathless. he can’t wipe away the grin on his face, wouldn’t do it even if he could. his blue eyes crinkle, as he looks at suguru, showing off his dimples and teeth.

”so corny,” he teases. suguru rolls his eyes.

”hey, don’t blame me. this is your imagination.”

a huff slips from his lips. ”yeah, yeah…” gojo waves him off. then he meets his eyes, again, still grinning boyishly. ”i’ll hold you to that, okay?”

”got it,” suguru chirps. ”good luck out there, satoru.”

”pssh. who do you think you’re talking to?”

the men exchange smiles, one final time. funny, how that’s always how their story ends; with a heartfelt smile. even if it’s coated in blood, or nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

then gojo turns around, again, and takes a step forward. not looking back this time. trusting suguru to still be there, watching over him. like always.

the bright light at the end of the airport glimmers, tantalizing, mesmerizing. suguru is right — there’s only one way to get out of this. only one way to make it back alive.

and it’s risky. very much so. it’s a gamble, the greatest one gojo’s ever made, even worse than that time twelve years ago with the reverse cursed technique. 

it’s a gamble, all or nothing.

binding vows are dangerous, fickle things. built on equivalent exchange. give something and get something, of equal value. sacrifice and gain. 

gojo’s thought about it, before. a morbid curiosity.

what could he possibly gain by offering the greatest treasure of the jujutsu world? 

he lifts one hand up, to caress his face. lingering over the skin of his eyelids, now closed. but he can still see the cursed energy around him. burned into his retinas. 

the six eyes. the blessing of sight.

a blessing. a blessing he never once asked for, one he was simply born with. born with all this power, doomed to live above the rest. all for a pair of eyes that never seem to see the things that really matter.

and, really, it’s a gamble.

gojo takes a deep breath, and then one large step forward.

(buddha left the royal life behind him at 29 years of age, he recalls. and then he sought out enlightenment.)

the light comes closer, and closer. lotus flowers bless his path. he takes seven steps forward, and his path blooms out before him; one flower blooming by his feet for every step he takes. seven steps north.

i’ll give you everything, he speaks to the someone watching the world. a god, a natural order, himself — it doesn’t really matter. i’ll give you all six. 

in exchange — 

the light is close, now. so close he can almost touch it. it burns his skin, but he doesn’t falter. he doesn’t look away, eyes seeing through the blindness and reaching out for something. something alive.

don’t let me die, he bargains. give me enough of it to kill him.

i still have things i need to do.

one more step, out of the airport —

(and satoru gojo makes a sacrifice.)

a binding vow is made.

the six eyes dissipate, like vapour drifting off into the darkness of a never-ending cosmos.

when gojo opens his eyes, he’s met with a cold, gray sky. 

the world shifts on its axis before him.

everything looks different. he can’t see, but he can, it’s just not the same as before. it’s naked, and raw, and surface-level. not enough to sink his teeth into.

he can still see cursed energy, feel the flicker of it all around him, but it’s hazy. it’s not clear enough, not enough for him to get a good grasp on — like the world lost its saturation. like everything got tilted slightly to the left. an eerie feeling that something isn’t as it should be.

and wow, okay. this is new.

but gojo parts his lips, weakly, and breathes in — and the air tastes the same as ever. cold, crispy. it fills his lungs and he exhales it through his nose. a human act. a breath of life.

i’m still alive.

it’s an odd feeling, like someone took a heavy weight off his shoulders. like someone stripped him of everything that makes him him. an strange sensation, heavy, entirely impossible to ignore. however —

the gain after the loss hits him almost immediately, embracing him with a burst of cursed energy so violently overwhelming that his sight becomes entirely irrelevant. it devours his very being.

everything becomes a blur. 

— i’ll give you everything. 

so, in exchange…

give me enough cursed energy to go on a good rampage.

the cursed energy within him spikes, so sudden and violent that gojo fears his skin might break open. buzzing like flies inside his veins, a vibrant burst of life, every colour in the universe. all the power one can expect from willingly casting away the greatest jewel of the jujutsu world.

gojo moves his fingers. he can feel them, finally — all limbs intact. positive cursed energy flows from his brain, no longer exhausted beyond comprehension. enough, more than enough to give him access to every possibility within his soul.

belatedly, he realizes that his sight isn’t the only thing that’s been weakened. the control he’s grown so used to having over his cursed energy is dwindling, and fast; that firm grip seems to have left with the six eyes, replaced by a set of shaky hands. gojo has experience, and for now, it’s enough. but he still has to concentrate to contain the nearly overwhelming flicker of his cursed energy, stinging his skin as if it can’t fully be contained by his body anymore. prickling his veins. it feels a little like trying to keep water from running through the gaps between your fingers. 

and he feels naked, in a way, suddenly living without something that defines his very being. a little hollowed out. a little wrong, like someone reached a hand through his ribs and pulled out his heart. 

but damn, does it feel good.

his cursed energy output is all-encompassing. his mind feels more clear than he ever remembers it being, and it’s like the world is at his fingertips. something similar to what he felt twelve years ago, but still so different. 

it isn’t ascension, not even close. quite the opposite. but that feeling of freedom is still so abundant. it’s all he can see before him; endless possibilities. 

twelve years ago, satoru gojo faced a certain man, and rose to the skies. he will never, ever forget it. that flicker of eternal solitude, the burst of overwhelming euphoria. that sense of everything being just right.

twelve years of living in the sky, and now his feet meet the ground, at last.

everything feels different. everything looks different. things won’t be the same, ever again — but maybe, suguru was right. maybe that’s not such an awful thing.

to be reborn. to be given a choice.

gojo opens his eyes, and finally takes in all the sights before him. everything happens in a blur, so fast he can barely catch up — his body acts before his mind, and suddenly he’s face to face with sukuna.

not megumi, but sukuna. fully incarnated.

and he looks displeased. almost frustrated.

”how?” 

the look of pure shock on his face is more satisfying than gojo could ever put into words; the satisfaction of seeing a king fall to his knees.

somewhere in the background, he thinks he hears a cacophony of voices, awfully familiar in a way that has warmth blooming in his chest. the students, he assumes — voices of shock, and something he tentatively recognizes as relief. but he doesn’t have the time to let his guard down, just yet.

(no matter how much he’d like to look back at them and give them a self-assured peace sign, bask in their smiling faces.)

instead, he answers sukuna. ”a binding vow,” he grins, and he thinks he must look a little manic, gesturing towards his eyes with his thumb. ”gave these puppies away. didn’t expect that, did’ya?”

sukuna looks at him, for a second.

then he laughs, loud and ugly, grotesque. taunting. he looks at gojo with something that almost resembles pity, something bordering on disappointment.

”pathetic,” he spits, all teeth. ”what good is living if it’s not at the top?”

gojo simply smiles.

he recalls that one question. eleven years ago, somewhere close to the ruins of the very street he’s standing in now. the question that flipped his entire world upside down.

(are you the strongest because you’re satoru gojo? or are you satoru gojo because you’re the strongest?)

a grin breaks out across his lips. his cursed energy pulsates inside his veins, eager to be let loose, and he takes on a fighting stance. parting his lips to speak, unsure of whose question he’s answering.

”well, we’re about to find out.”

the sky is gray. even so, all he can see is that familiar shade of blue, as clear as ever. even without the six eyes.

gojo smiles. 

just keep watching, suguru. 

this time, i definitely won’t lose.

[meringuejellyfish]

I FUCKING LOVE EVER AFTER HIGH!!!!!!!! havent seen it in a long time but i remember it was rlly good the designs were bangin too

YOU UNDERSTAND you understand oh my god sometimes i try and explain it to people and im like hrm maybe im just insane sick and twisted. not enough eah believers in this world truly

its likeeee defintely a comfort media to me i think. so perhaps i think its so good because of the weird allisterfied version ive had in my head But also like this version wasnt built on nothing baby..!!! if you dont understand eah thats on you for real

[freindly-neighbourhood-anarchist]

☀︎︎-: 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 :-☀︎︎

Kimetsu no yaiba x reader

°•.《 characters 》.•°

Rengoku, Giyuu, Shinobu, Sanemi

Tw: Swearing because Sanemi is Sanemi

____________________________________________

I'm definitely gonna binge write this series after watching the movie, I literally cant stop thinking about it--

Send in as much requests as you want!! :))

I do fluff, different AU's, angst and NSFW(we'll see).

Keep in mind, I havent read the manga. I'm caught up to the train Arc and that's it, so try not to spoil anything by requesting characters that havent appeared yet lol

« `` •"𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞~"• ´´ »

☼︎ ☀︎︎ʀᴇɴɢᴏᴋᴜ ᴋʏᴏᴜᴊᴜʀᴏᴜ☀︎︎ ☼︎

Holding hands is sort of a need for him-

He's huge with PDA and holding your small hand within his reassures him quite a bit. He never needs to ask to hold your hand, he just grips it whenever and wherever.

I feel like he'll sense when your nervous and be really perceptive, so he'd hold your hand to ground you in a way

It's highly effectve.

"Delicious!" Your energetic boyfriend chirped, eating his takoyaki with fervour and a bright smile.

You ate your own food from across him, shaking your head a little with a slight smile slanting onto your lips.

It's definitely been a long day, so winding down and eating with your amazing boyfriend is definitely a preferable way to end it.

He sort of sensed your stress as you came back from training, sweat sleek across your forehead. And thus, he ran a bath for you and then took you out for dinner to take your mind off of whatever was bothering you.

He's always had a keen intuition and was brilliant at reading emotions on others. It was a weird super power at this point. But he noticed how relaxed you were now that you were with him, it melted his heart.

His eyes flickered over your expression, his eyes soft with adoration and affection." This is certainly calming after a long day!" He exclaimed happily.

At his jolly aura, you nodded in agreement," Honestly... It's like you have some weird superpower to make me forget about whatever was annoying me. Kinda freaky." You shivered.

Letting out a hearty laugh, the man reached out, interlacing his long fingers with yours suddenly. The warmth of his skin sending goosebumps over your arms.

"I just know you too well! Nothing wrong or freaky about that!" His grin was filled with light.

Your fingers tightened around his, his warm skin seemed to be heating up your own body as well. Thank God, you were beginning to get cold anyways.

"Have I ever told you about how cute your hands are!" It was more of a statement than a question, pulling his hand and your hand closer to him so he could get a better glimpse at your soft hands." So tiny... So soft. It's like I'm being touched by an angel!"

"Geez, you're cheesy."

"You love it~!"

"... Fair point."

•«☔︎ 𝙜𝙞𝙮𝙪𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙤𝙠𝙖 ☔︎»•

Bro I'm sorry, but I dont think he holds your hand much-

I feel like he thinks he doesnt need to show how much he loves you through actions, more so through blunt words.

But he will get the sudden urge to hold your hand every once in a while, so be prepared because he could get the jump on you at any point.

Doesnt like PDA that much, it makes him slightly uncomfortable because it's in public but I feel like he would get used to it later in your relationship.

Ocean-blue eyes stared at you hesitantly as you continued to speak about the new breathing technique you had learned.

Both you and Giyuu were walking peacefully through the garden you had grown over the years, the plants varying in different colours and sizes. They reminded him of you.

Your peaceful personality cued him to remember the petals of the flowers blowing gently in the breeze. Not to mention you smell very distinctly and sweet just like the flowers as well.

But as he walked with you in this haven, he felt pretty agitated and frustated. He hid it well with his usual deapan expressions, but he could feel the pit of the emotions growing bigger.

His hand twitched suddenly when the back of yours brushed against his, his cheeks tinting pink at the abrupt contact.

Gulping, he looked straight ahead with sharp eyes and a furrowed brow.

The atmosphere shifted.

And when you had stopped talking, he knew that you had noticed the harsh shift as well.

"Giyuu?... Are you feeling okay? You look like you're burning up." You questioned out of concern, a worried expression upon your face.

Shaking his head briefly, the ravenette continued to walk with his head staring straight ahead," I feel optimal. Why do you ask?" He was so obviously trying to change the subject.

You frowned a little at the stiff response and opened your mouth to respond but your boyfriend had beaten you to it.

"Let me h-... Hold your... Hand... Please." He uttered, looking down with red cheeks, an embarrassed scowl squirmed on his lips.

You were silent for a long while, making him wait nervously for your answer. What he wasn't expecting was the cute snort of laughter coming from you and grabbing his hand tightly within your own, your other hand wrapping around his forearm like it was a substitute teddy bear.

His cheeks heated up tenfold and he had to look away before you noticed.

"You're such a cutie. You don't need to ask to hold my hand you know?" You teased lightly, nudging him playfully by bumping your hip against his.

"I-it's embarrassing." He retorted.

"Whatever, cutie."

"No."

"Yes."

"Stop it."

꧁ꕥ 𝑲𝒐𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒃𝒖 ꕥ꧂

She would sooo tease you for wanting to hold her hand-

Like, she would hold it obvi, but she'd tease you about it for a good 5 minutes before finally giving up lol

Flustering you is one of her favourite pastimes, it was what your relationship was built on top of in the first place. Teasing eachother was always a thing you guys did.

But Kocho takes teasing to a MAXIMUM.

It's like you guys are challenging eachother to a tease off and she just refuses to loose. She'd rather die.

Dramatic but true

What a fucking queen-

"Ara, ara~ what was that? You want to hold my hand?" The raven haired woman pressed her hand against her lips, raising a suggestive eyebrow at you." Oh~ How scandalous! You're saying we should do pre-martial hand holding? why, that's practically a crime!"

You deadpanned at your girlfriend's words," Holding your hand is a crime?..."

"Mmhm!"

"But we literally made-out yester-"

She smiled at you passive-aggressively," I'm afraid we can't hold hands until we're married! Too bad!" She sighed, pretending to seem devastated ," How could you suggest we do such a lewd thing? In public, no less! You're quite the little scoundrel, hmm?~"

Your deadpan only deepened," Well then... I guess I'll just have to marry you then, hm? So I can hold your hand for the rest of my life." You chimed out, a slight twinkle in your eye. At the sight of Kocho's cheeks tinting a bright red, you smirked in triumph." Oya~? What's that I see? Is that blush?" You poked her warm cheek affectionately," I think it iiiis~!"

Biting her lip, Kocho scoffed and rolled her eyes," Just because you won doesn't mean you-... Shut up." She huffed out, losing her composure.

" Aha! So I won." You grinned out," I think I deserve a prize for winning for like... the first time." You said that last part quickly.

" You're not getting a kiss, if that's what you're referring to!" She smiled up at you passive aggressively.

Now the win didn't even feel like a win.

I guess, Kocho will always win in the end.

You pouted at her, eyebrows furrowed," You're so petty...." You groaned out, before a cheeky grin crossed over your lips," How about letting me hold your hand instead?"

Kocho stared at your grin with an unimpressed look, before her eyes softened and a gentle smile spread onto her perfect lips." Wipe that cheeky grin off of your face and I might consider it."

A bright smile instantly spread onto your lips and you held out your hand expectantly for her to take it. Her radiant smile only widened and her hand settled into yours, her warm fingers closing over your own as if she was keeping them safe in her hold.

" Now you have to marry me." She stated simply," I want to hold your hand in mine for the rest of my life as well."

᯾༄𖦹.𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕚 .𖦹༄᯾

BRUUUUH THIS FUCKING MAN-

Ok, so hear me out lol-

I have read up on his character a tiny bit and bro he's such a fucking SOFTY like-

If you were to ask him to hold your hand he'd highkey have to process what you said for like a minute or two before finally agreeing to it lol

He has such a tough-guy exterior when on the inside he's actually really caring to those who are important to him.

Definitely one of those characters who seem like pricks but they like something cute like cats or something-

"Uhm... Sanemi?" You spoke up suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence.

Your boyfriend broke out of his daze of appreciating your beauty and hummed to let you know that he was listening, picking up some of his uneaten rice with his chopsticks.

"Can... Can I h-hold your hand?"

He choked on the rice he was eating, coughing into his fist and thumping his other hand against his chest to try and get the rice that shot down the back of his throat to go down.

You went to get out of your chair to help him, concern etched onto your face, but he held a hand up to stop you. Instead, you simply passed your water to him, as of which he chugged greatfully.

When he had finally gained his composure, he held out a slightly trembling hand, his cheeks tinted red as he let out a gruff," yeah... Of course you can, idiot. You don't have to ask..."

Adoration bloomed in your chest at his words and you grabbed his outstretched hand, instantly interlocking your fingers with his. Absentmindedly, you ran your thumb up and down his hand comfortingly as you smiled like an idiot to yourself.

Ba-dump.

Sanemi's heart thumped in his chest at the look of love on your face, feeling his whole body heating up. The wind pillar was known for being ruthless, intimidating and quite frankly... A bit of an asshole.

But around you? He's a completely different person.

Between you and his little brother, he's always going to have a huge soft spot for you both.

So he'll always treat you well.

Squeezing your hand lovingly, he let a slight smirk curl onto his lips," You look like a dumbass smiling like that.... You must really like me, huh?" He tried to tease.

"I don't like you."

Arrows shot through his heart, his smirk dropping in an instant," Oi-!"

You giggled at his response," I love you."

The frown on his lips wobbled a little, threatening to break out into an idiotic smile. Clearing his throat, he looked away from you and pressed the back of his unoccupied hand against his mouth to hide the smile that threatened to appear.

"Oh..." He could only respond with," y-yeah... Same here."

"You're so socially inept."

"I'm damn not!!" He grumbled, eyebrows furrowing," I fucking love you too!! Is that better?"

You grinned childishly, bringing his hand up to your mouth and placing a light kiss to it," much better."

It's safe to say that this was the day he vowed to marry you.