#wait i'm gonna try and find a post that'll help me make my point

[teddybeartoji]

I am curious why do you think Suguru is mean or awful?

I DON'T ACTUALLY I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i only say he's awful bc he's just very hot and he knows it too so it pisses me off . and he likes to tease a lot and i get flustered very easily so i call him mean but i don't really mean it lmao i think he's a sweetheart when it comes to relationships i think he's a proper loverboy who actually fucking daydreams about the various kinds of dates he wants to take you on and the meals he wants to cook for you okay. i love him<3333333333333333333333

[trishlia]

Coffee Crush.

characters: chandler bing, monica geller, rachel green. (chandler x yn)

context??: one shot, cute adorable stuff idk.

words: 594 (its so short I'm sorry)

a/n: sorry for not posting or being online!! I've been busy for the past few days. qwq please enjoy this and give me some ideas to write more!! ty for the likes from my previous chandler one shot! (I read it and I cringed so bad qwq)

*** y/n pov first person.

I walked across the streets and enter inside a coffee house, Central Perk. I'm a usual customer there, I buy myself a cup of coffee and head to work. I don't go there just for a coffee though.. A person. A tall man, a tall brunette who sits on the orange sofa at the end of the coffee house. Who make sarcastic jokes to his group of friends. Its just a coffee crush though, it's not like I get to be with him. It looks like his close with the black haired girl. I'm pretty sure her name is Monica.

As I order my latte, I sat beside the window, near the coat hook and read the daily news. I'm usually early and wait for the man, but its mostly because I'm always running late. The waitress came to serve my coffee, its one of the brunette's friend, Rachel's her name. As she place my coffee on the table I checked to see if it were the correct order. Gladly it was.

The man I've waited walks in the coffee house with his friends, they all sat down at their usual spots. The brunette sat close with the black haired girl, I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous but at the same time I'm happy he has someone. I continue to read my paper as I take a sip of my coffee, I was pretending to mind my business when I'm actually just listening to the man's voice. He did a sarcastic joke which made me laugh behind the paper.

After a couple of minutes, I glance at my watch. I should be heading out finding a cab before traffic gets worse. I finish my latte, fold the newspaper and place it on the table. I stood up from my seat and pay the cashier. I was about to head out as I wore my coat when suddenly somebody touched my shoulder, 'Uh, hi.' he said.

I turn to see who it was, a tall brunette, the brunette who I listen to everyday in the coffee shop, the brunette I wait every single day just to see him from a far. 'Oh- h-hi.' I stuttered. It's not normal for a girl to get interrupted by a man they've been spying.. or stalking.

'Hi, hi. Uhm, Chandler. Chandler is my name, uhm. Hi!' He also stuttered which made me force to hold a weird smile that is creaking from my face. 'Nice to meet you, Chandler.' I greet him, funny how I knew his name before I even get to meet him properly, 'Y/N, if you're wondering. How can I help?' I asks the taller man, I said way to fancy for a guy like him. God, why am I so awkward?'

'Y/N.. It's uh very nice name. Well, I thought I could uhm, ask you out? Like a date. If you can, of course.' He said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. I stared at him like it was a dream come true, 'Sure!' I replied, 'What time?' His nervous emotions turns into something positive than before, 'What about 5 pm, today? Dinner's on me.'

'That'll be great.' I said, 'Wanna meet up here?' I point my hands to the ground. 'Yeah, see you, Y/N.' He walked away and did a hand motion dance to his friends. I smiled widely and walked out of the coffee house fixing myself into my jacket as I try to find a cab. I guess I have some luck in life after all.

[solesurvivorpaigeargot]

HOLY HELLO Sketchy friends, followers, and fans! It's that time again, time for...

SHIPPY SATURDAY!

The heck is happening here? Here's an FAQ~ Wanna support the event? Here's my Ko-fi!

That's right, it's FINALLY the last Saturday of the month... and I've decided it's high time our Quotable prompt evolved into a Dialog prompt! This is gonna work a lot like previous Quote prompts, but with an extra twist, so please make sure you read the guidelines for a valid request before sending in!

ONWARDS!

To make a VALID Shippy Saturday request, please send me the following in an ASK to my ASKBOX:

The COUPLE you'd like me to sketch up ---- OC? Heck yes! Canon? Hell yeah! All characters welcome, so long as they're from Fallout ---- OC x OC? Cool! Canon x Canon? SWEET! OC x Canon? DAMN RIGHT.

The NUMBER of the dialog snippet you'd like me to art them saying ---- Got more than one favorite? You may list up to THREE in your ask, in order of preference, to help the artist avoid repeats <3 ---- Still can't pick? Send in 'Dealer's Choice!' and the artist will pick one for you.... oooor possibly make up some fresh dialog on the spot ;3

What KIND OF RELATIONSHIP your couple has with each other ---- Romantic? Platonic? Professional? Familial? Rivals? Neighbors? Despite it's name, Shippy Saturday is about all kinds of human connections, not just the romantic ones! ---- Is your couple part of a larger OT3 or poly group? Tell me who else is part of the relationship; they probably won't get arted, but they might add their two cents to the scene from off-frame XD

IF YOU'RE SENDING IN AN OC!! ---- Send your request ask FIRST, without reference information ---- THEN send your OC's reference information to me via my Tumblr IM ---- Don't have any reference pictures, but you can type of a written description? Great! I love working from written descriptions! :D [ No, really, I do. Give them to me :D ]

After that, you can leave all the rest to me! :D [ I.e Please do not request poses or specific actions ]

Hokay? HOKAY! With all of that out of the way, let's get onto the dialog snippets! These are taken from various things I enjoy, as well as some of my own work. These quotes have been modified to gender neutral pronouns, to remove most proper nouns, and for brevity.

[ Some of these quotes have multiple speakers! That will be shown like this! "Speaker A" -- "Speaker B" ]

"Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance" -- "... I thought you called it your pecker."

"Here, you look cold."

"You are so lucky I love you." -- "Damn right."

"You know the routine." -- "Yeah! WE do all the work, YOU get all the credit!"

"I want you with me, but... I'm scared." -- "Trust me. Trust me to take care of myself." -- "I trust you, it's the rest of the world I'm terrified of!"

"No breakfast?" -- "I did it yesterday-- bologna and beans, it's your turn." -- "No... It was eggs. I did eggs... over easy." -- "The hell you did! Bologna and beans, it's your turn!"

"I like the kind of person who can handle themselves... think on their feet."

"So you were ahead of me." -- "I don't know about ahead, but I've been behind you ever since you fried those mannequins."

"Don't make me say it out loud..." -- "... I can say it first, if that'll help."

"Nooooooope... five more minutes." -- "We were together all night." -- "Didn't count... I was sleepin'."

"Well, this is very serious" -- "IT IS!" -- "You, you destroyed a door." -- "Colonel, we're talking about a test on an armored vehicle, that will carry people into combat." -- "Right, but this door is property of--" -- "The shell barely penetrated the door." -- "okay, but now it's all bent out of shape. How are you gonna get it back on its hinges?" -- "I'LL BUY THE ARMY A NEW GODDAMN DOOR!"

"Sorry, I thought... I thought you were trying to buy something I'm not selling."

"I'm busy." -- "Too busy to look up?"

"You can't kill people just because you don't agree with them." -- "You see, that was the ONE point me and the doctors could never agree upon."

"Would you ever consider having a drink with an enlisted solider?" -- "Depends... does the enlisted soldier think I need one?" -- "What are they gonna do? Kick you out?"

"Thanks" -- "No problem, anytime."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up-- one day it's gonna happen to you. Someday someone is gonna ask you, who is it? And a face is gonna jump to the front of your mind, and it's gonna completely sandbag you... I can't wait to watch!"

[to a peacefully sleeping person ] -- "Good moring, Mx. ___, this is your wake-up call. Please move your ass."

"I say we run for it" -- "Running isn't a plan, runnin's what you do when a plan fails!"

"... Normal Illinois, is that on the map?" -- "Yes, Sergeant, it is." -- "... is it normal in Normal?" -- "... Uneventful, I think, is the word."

"Now-- how many brahmin does it take to make a stampede? Is it like... three or more? Is there a minimum speed?" -- "Wish a stampede up your ass."

"I don't mind being a secret of yours."

[Right after THE BIG FUCKING KISS] ".... let's not make it a year before the next one, okay?"

"If we were serious about money, we'd quit being hired hands--" -- "Handymen! We are han-dee-men." -- "Oh whatever! We'd quit this and go find some real money."

"Please... don't go where I can't follow."

"Alone is fine! I can do alone, it's worrying after them that's got me all wound up!" -- "Have you considered that's because alone is NOT FINE and you don't wanna do it anymore?" -- "---!!"

"This is not the first time you've been here." -- "We've been down this road before, that is correct." -- "Several times, in fact." -- "I hadn't been keeping count."

"And you must be ___, I've heard all about you." -- "I deny everything."

"First time I saw you? I thought to myself, that's the kind of person BRICK WALLS jump outta the way of." -- "Figured you'd be safer behind me rather than in front of me?" -- "Damn right."

"Just keep looking at that beautiful sky; that's the sky that'll be over our roof when we're done." -- "What if we don't finish the roof? Then we can look at the sky all the time."

"Yeah, well... maybe a friend is what I need right now."

"Next thing you know the Feds will be at our door; Sorry, time to move out, Eminent Domain." -- "Down honey, down."

"Even a heat-seeking missile can miss a target." -- "... you taped so many hot-plates to the test target you could fry an egg at 20 feet, and it STILL missed by a mile."

"My dear, my darling, love of my life...." -- "What do you want?"

"What I mean to say is... you make here a better place to be. For me. Easier. Does that make sense?"

"Calm down, you make it sound like a war." -- "What do you people have against being prepared?!"

"This is not just a report, it's a deadly weapon." -- "Sir, an M-16 is a deadly weapon. A report is just a pile of paper, unless you plan to inflict a lot of extremely vicious paper cuts."

"Stupid son of a bitch, knocked himself out cold..." -- "Cold my ass, he's dead."

"Y'know, in baseball, a guy who hits .400 is consider pretty damn great." -- "In baseball the losing team isn't killed by their opponents."

"Hey... I love you. Did I tell you that today?"

This post is going online at 8 PM, June 24th, 2021, US Pacific time. The askbox will open for requests until 6 PM, June 25th, 2021, US Pacific Time. Get yours in now!

Arting will begin at 9 AM tomorrow morning, see you then! :D

-Loor

[yourmidnightlover]

ssa hotchner: chapter 1 - the blazer

TW: harrassment, talk about a case

WC : 5,920 

series masterlist

-----------------------------------

"aaron! hey," you answered the phone after hitting enter on the final file you had to upload to the computer.

"y/n! how are you?" your brother questioned kindly.

"um, i've been better," you started, trying to figure out how to tell him the bad news.

"what happened?" aaron asked as he finished filling out the final file he had before noon. "is it about that promotion?" he rolled his eyes, recalling the events of last time you were up for a promotion.

"yea... it is," you sorrowfully revealed. "i uh... i didn't get it. again," you sighed out as you closed your laptop and put it in your bag. "can you... what are you doing for lunch?"

"well the team and i were gonna go out to a local thai place right around the corner from the bau, you could join if you'd like," he replied, wanting to be there for his sister any chance he could. "you know how much they love you."

"i just don't really think my mood is relative to that of a person who's going out with a crowd of people, y'know?" you placed the device in your bag and closed it, pulling it over your shoulder after grabbing your keys from the bag. "besides, i haven't met all of your team yet. dr. reid wasn't there the last time i saw you at my birthday because he was visiting his mother, remember?" you brought up, hoping he wouldn't feel too bad for you.

"y/n, just come to lunch with us. the last case went well, and everyone's pretty excited about that. maybe that'll help put you in a better mood?" aaron suggested as he gathered his things to go out for lunch. "and reid will actually be there this time so you'll be able to meet him," arron smiled at the thought of you meeting the young genius.

"are you sure? i really don't want to impose on your post-case celebrations, aaron," you rebutted as you walked out of the doors of the office you've been working at for nearly 8 years.

"i'm positive. everyone would love to see you again," emily walked into the office, noticing the smile he was wearing that he only has when he's talking to you.

"is that y/n?" emily questioned with a bright smile as hotch nodded. "tell her i said hi! and that i really miss her! oh wait are you talking her into coming to lunch with us?" her eyes widened at the possibility of seeing you again.

"yea, i'm trying to get her to realize that she won't be imposing on us if she comes," the dark haired man sighed.

"here, give me the phone. you know she can't resist my charm," emily teased, you laughed from hearing the remark over the phone as hotch handed it to her. "y/n hotchner. you are going to go to lunch with us whether you like it or not," emily demanded with a smirk.

"oh, yes. there's that charm i know and love, em," you giggled as you put your keys in the ignition, realization setting in that you should probably just go to lunch with them since you have no other plans and are already in your car. "fine. i'll go. should i meet you there or at the office?"

"just meet us there. we're like five minutes away and with morgan's driving it'll be cut in half," emily scolded.

"okay. i'm on my way now. should be maybe 10 minutes," you announced. "i'll see you guys there," you said before hanging up the phone and beginning to drive.

you had been working at a law firm near the bau for nearly 8 years. in fact, next week would make it officially 8 years. the office was run by a few men, under the US district attorney, who you've come to find out are misogynistic pricks who don't like putting women in positions of authority.

you got hired on about 5 months out of law school, columbia law school to be exact. you have an associates in business and a masters criminology, law, psychology. your original dream was to work at the bau with your big brother, clearly, but those dreams changed since you graduated from columbia.

you pulled into the parking lot of 'thailand eatery,' a bau team favorite, and noticed aaron's car parked in the far corner. you smiled to yourself as you found a spot beside him and got out to make your way inside.

"hi, i'm here with aaron hotchner for lunch," you sweetly announced to the hostess before she nodded.

"right this way, ma'am," you followed her to the table full of fbi agents, noticing their laughter that erupted for some unknown reason.

one seat was open next to aaron and emily. you placed your blazer on your seat and a hand on both of their shoulders to announce your arrival. they looked at you in surprise before realizing who you were, big smiles crossing their faces.

"y/n!" arron excitedly announced before standing to give you a nice bear hug. "it's so good to see you," he whispered in your ear kindly.

"i know. it's been a while since we've been able to do this," you grinned widely as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

"okay, okay..." emily interrupted. "this is sweet and all, but i haven't been able to see you since your birthday last year," she announced before you traded your brother's arms for hers.

"it's good to see you, em" you laughed as she squeezed you tightly.

"where the hell have you been! i've missed you," she pouted as you both unwrapped your arms from each other.

"y'know, working for the usual pricks i do... and that's pretty much it," you shrugged as you made your way around the table to hug penelope.

"what have they been doing to you this time, my little sugar plum?" penelope asked sweetly as you gave her another hug.

"the usual, pen. just the usual," you sighed into her ear as you began to hug derek. "but let's not get into that know, yea? i heard you guys had a successful case the other day! that's exciting!" you announced as derek wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and swinging you around a bit.

if you're honest, derek is like a second big brother to you. he was there for you when your brother got stabbed in his own home and was in a coma. he comforted you in your home when you were sobbing on the floor because it wasn't safe for you to visit your own flesh and blood.

"hell yea it was," derek smiled into your ear before placing you down and giving you a chaste peck on the cheek. "but if i need to kick some ass at that work place of yours i won't even hesitate," he whispered into your ear as he rose from your cheek.

"now, now, derek," you tapped his chest playfully. "i don't need you kicking my bosses down like you would a door, as exhilarating as that sounds," you chuckled aimlessly.

"bella, care to indulge me in what they're doing at that office of yours?" rossi said as you made your way to hug him.

"it's not that big of a deal, dave. i'm sure i'm just overreacting again," you sighed as you released him from his hug.

"not a big deal?" aaron butted in. "y/n, you deserved that promotion and they looked you over, yet again," he sassed. "i don't think that's overreacting," he rolled his eyes.

"i know i deserved it, but..." you sighed, weighing all the possibilities. "actually there's no buts. i've worked there for 8 years and have gotten two promotions. i guess i'm just really disappointed," you reasoned, trying not to start crying from the anger bubbling up inside of you.

"two promotions in eight years?" rossi questioned, noticing the annoyed look on your face at the thought. "do those assclowns not realize what an amazing worker you are?" david asked in disbelief.

"i don't know... i guess?" you questioned. "i just don't want to think about that right now," you said as you hugged jj in return.

"are you kidding? we've been to a few of your cases," the blond added. "you're amazing, y/n." jj complimented. "rossi's right. they must be absolutely blind if they don't see what a great worker you are."

"thank you, jayge," you smiled at her before realizing there was one more person at the table.

you'd seen him in pictures, and had heard enough about him to remember a few key points. he's a genius with three phd's, three ba's, he has a thing with germs, he's a bit awkward, and absolutely handsome. the pictures you've seen didn't do him justice.

"i'm assuming you're the famous dr. spencer reid?" you asked, not bothering to reach for a hug or handshake.

"i uhm, yes i am. dr. sp-spencer reid. or you can call me spen-spencer," he cleared his throught. "or reid, or basically whatever you'd uh- whatever you'd prefer," he stuttered out, sitting awkwardly in his chair and barely maintaining eye contact.

"how about we just go with spencer?" you asked as you made your way to your seat beside your brother. "my name's-"

"y/n hotchner, yes," he smiled at you as your brother pushed your chair in for you, you muttering a small 'thank you' in return. "i've uhm... i've heard a lot about you," he stammered.

"oh dear, let me go ahead and apologize in that case," you joked, eliciting laughter from your friends at the table.

"actually, there's uhm - there's no need to apologize. everything i heard was," he sniffled, "really good. it was all good," his lips formed into a line as he nodded at his own words.

"well then i guess i have to mention how great everyone's made you out to be. i mean, a three phds and three ba's at only, what? 34? that's beyond incredible, spencer," you complimented the gorgeous man sitting beside your brother.

"oh uhm, th-thank you, y/n," he blushed. cute.

"it's no problem at all. i mean it's not everyday that you meet a genius that's as young and handsome as you are," you laughed, taking a sip of the water that your brother had ordered for you before you arrived, not even realizing the compliment you had payed to his looks. shit. now you realized. you cleared your thought before acting like you didn't even say anything.

"oh! uhm, th-thank you, again. you're uhm - you're very - you too. not that you're handsome, but that you're very..." he trailed off, biting his lower lip to refrain from humiliating himself even more.

"well then, pretty boy, you sure do have a way with words," morgan teased, eliciting a jab in the stomach from penelope.

"derek morgan, if you do not shut up," penelope scowled.

meanwhile, you turned your head to notice your brother staring oddly at 'pretty boy' who was looking sheepishly at you. you nudged your brother's arm playfully, capturing his attention.

"stare any harder at him and he might explode, aaron," you whispered in his ear, being sure not to look at spencer.

"maybe that needs to happen with the way he's looking at you, y/n," he rebutted.

it's true. if anyone else had been looking at you that way, arron probably would've mentioned that he's in the fbi and that he has more than two guns to scare them away. since it was spencer, everything was different.

"shush, it's just a little crush. what's the worst that could happen?" you rolled your eyes at his protectiveness. "he'll be over it by the end of lunch," you announced, not noticing the way aaron rolled his eyes at your assumption.

aaron had seen spencer around girls enough to know that when he got flustered around them it usually meant something more than just a little crush in spencer's mind. that also means that arron knows that spencer would never try to do anything with you because you're his sister.

"fine," he relished, not wanting to bother with the genius's sure infatuation with you when this is the first time he's gotten to see his own sister in a while. "so you wanted to talk to me about something?" he changed the subject.

"right," you twiddled with your thumbs and looked down into your lap. "ikindaputinmytwoweeksnoticeatthefirmoceifoundoutaboutthepromotion," you rambled out, casually taking a sip of your drink as if you didn't just say you quit your job of 8 years.

"you did what?" he asked in confusion, not understanding what you said.

"i put in my two weeks notice once i found out about the promotion," you slowed down so he could understand, his eyes going wide upon the understanding.

"that's... what you wanted to do, right?" he questioned, not wanting to give you the wrong reaction.

"yea, i think so," you started. "i was just so tired of getting looked over just because of my gender, y'know? i've had to prove myself in everything i've ever done. i think i've more than proved myself at the firm," you announced, still trying to find your own confidence.

:you have, y/n. you've more than proved yourself to be an amazing lawyer," he agreed. "sometimes i'm convinced you might work harder than we do," he scoffed.

"there's no way, a," you laughed at the ridiculous statement. "i've just put my all into the firm. all my time, attention, and hard work has gone into that place. the reason that place is where it is right now is because of me," you pouted.

"i remember. i brought the whole team to the case that put the firm on the map. even reid was there," he stated.

"spencer was at that case?" you asked, not remembering him saying hi afterwords.

"yea, he was. he just got pulled away because of troubles with his mom," you 'ohh'ed at the revelation. "but that case was the hardest one i've ever seen a lawyer handle, y/n."

"thank you," you smiled at the compliment.

"no, i mean it," he relished. "i don't even think i would've won that case. that's what brought everyone to the firm. it was a high profile case, one that the bau was on. of course there was going to be a big turnout. you handled the press, and the pressure amazingly."

it was a case the bau had worked on for nearly a week and a half, and they needed you to further convince the jury that who they caught was the right unsub because of the amount of circumstantial evidence. you were able to get the unsub flustered, and admit to his own crime on the stand with the press in the room.

it was possibly the best case you'd ever gotten because the amount of publicity you'd gotten. but with publicity there came quite a few complications that you hadn't told anyone about.

"that's just the big brother in you talking," you giggled, trying to brush the compliment off naturally.

"whatever you say, y/n. whatever you say," he brought his drink up to his mouth to take a sip.

"so, how was the last case you were on?" you asked, quite intrigued by all the cases he would tell you when he had the chance.

"well, how about we start from the beginning since you like hearing about them so much?" he asked with a grin, you nodded eagerly.

"so it started with the unsub taking abducting his victims..."

throughout the case, you found yourself starting to profiling the suspects yourself, something your brother noticed too. i mean, how could you not do that? you had a degree in psychology and criminology so it made since that profiling them would be natural for you.

everyone at the table interrupted at their parts in the story. when david and jj went to the m.e., when aaron, emily, and derek went to the crime scene, spencer and the geo profile. you were fascinated by their work and everything they were able to do.

when you were younger and your brother had first started at the bau, he really enjoyed calling you to tell you about them. he loved your reactions and how enthusiastic you would become when he was talking. that's really when you first started dreaming about being in the bau, with aaron.

"ugh, y'know i used to dream of going on cases with you guys," you admitted after they finished wrapping up the case in words, taking a sip of your drink to wash your food down.

"really?" spencer asked, not stammering while talking to you for the first time all afternoon.

"yea. aaron would always tell me about the cases when you got back, and i could practically just imagine myself working them with him and you guys," you relished, a smile on your face as you recalled the memories of your younger self.

"i think you'd do excellent on the team," spencer suggested. "it's clear that you already work well with everyone, plus you're more than qualified to work with us, other than the fact that you'd need to go through the fbi training."

"actually i've already been through it," you nonchalantly admitted with a shrug.

"you have?" he questioned as his eyebrows raised in shock. "why haven't you decided to work at the fbi then?" you shrugged at his question.

"i guess i just thought i wouldn't fit in enough?" you said, clearly realizing the contradiction to your earlier statement about imagining yourself on the team. "besides, i got a job at the firm as soon as i got out of the academy, so it all worked out fine."

"actually, reid, that's a good idea," aaron said as he turned his attention to you. "would you be interested in working at the bau with us?" he asked with a small grin, the thought of working with his sister already bringing a smile to his face.

"wh-don't-wouldn't you have to ask your boss about that? that's a big change, adding a new member to a team. you guys already work so well together..." you trailed off, trying to come up with an excuse.

"strauss?" derek asked in feigned disbelief. "she loves you, kid. which is kind of odd since it seems as though she doesn't like hotch as much," derek chuckled.

"oh my god! imagine it, y/n!" penny yelled in excitement. "you could see us everyday, and you wouldn't have to deal with those buttmunches you work for!" she announced.

"used to work for, two weeks from now," you laughed. "and it sounds amazing, but aaron already works there. i'm sure that's enough hotchner's for you guys," you shrugged with a smile.

"that's nonsense!" emily disagreed. "two of my favorite people working with me?! an absolute dream, i tell you," she grinned.

"i guess if you talk to erin about it and she's alright with it..." you trailed off with a huff. "how could i say no?" you smiled.

"oh my gosh this is so exciting!" penny announced, jumping up and rushing arounf the table to hug you. "i'm so ready to work with you!"

"let's not get too beyond ourselves, pen," you giggled. "she hasn't approved my addition yet."

"come on, she's gonna approve it, y/n," dave commented.

"whatever you guys say," you laughed.

you all finished eating, and received the check for lunch of which david insisted on paying. you went up to him afterwards and insisted on paying your part of the bill, but he said it was 'his treat for this wondrous occasion.'

you reluctantly made your way back to your office, the lingering stares from your bosses not going unnoticed. you couldn't wait for those two weeks to be over and for you to be able to leave that hell hole behind, whether you got the job at the bau or not.

you sat down in your chair and reached for your blazer only to realize you must've left it back at the restaurant. great. there goes that 50 bucks.

"hey, sweetcheeks," ron, one of your bosses, commented upon his entrance to your office.

"how many times do i have to tell you not to call me that?" you rolled your eyes, finishing up on the transcript you would need for the case you had tomorrow.

"oh, come on. you know you love it," he said, walking further into your office and sitting on the corner of your desk, ignoring the two chairs that remained across from you. you closed your computer and looked into his eyes, shooting daggers at him with your own.

"what do you want?" you spat at him, wanting to get him out of your hair as soon as possible.

"well, you won't be an employee in two weeks," he announced as if you hadn't already known.

"i'm well aware," you sassed back, trying not to slap him across the face at the fact that he was no longer looking at your eyes, rather further south from them. you snapped your fingers to bring his attention back to your face. "what. do. you. want?"

"well, honey pie, i was just wanting to take you out. y'know, after you're done here," he bit his lip, trying to be seductive but massively failing.

the terrible thing about this fool is, he doesn't know what the word 'no' means. he's always made passes at you, and commented on your appearance. it, of course, made you uncomfortable, but you couldn't really do anything about it. the hopes of getting a promotion was greater than your uncomfortability.

"i've seen the way you look at me, it's no secret," he said, getting off your desk and walking closer to you.

"you mean it's no secret that i find you absolutely repulsive?" you snapped. "shocker," you widened your eyes to feign surprise with your remark.

"are you serious?" he said, his 'seductive' smile now turning into a frown.

"are you serious?" you asked in disgust.

you placed your laptop in your bag, taking your keys out of the bag in the process and beginning to walk out of your office to avoid the man standing there. he grabbed your arm, forcing you to face him.

"don't walk away from me," he gritted, his face red with anger. his grip on your arm tightened, surely leaving a bruise in its wake.

"then don't fucking touch me," you said, attempting to yank your arm away from him, only failing to do so. "let go," you demanded.

"sorry, sweetcheeks, i didn't get that," he smirked. that fucker smirked at your struggle.

knock. knock. knock.

you turned to see whoever was at your door. it was none other than dr. spencer reid. holding your blazer in his hand. you furrowed your brows in confusion before ron decided to drop your arm.

"what the hell is going on?" spencer asked, his eyes not leaving ron's defensive stature as he placed the jacket on one of the chairs by your desk.

"nothing, right doll?" ron looked at you, a disgusting grin on his face.

"yea, right," you rolled your eyes.

spencer's eyes trailed back to you and your arm ron was once holding, right where the red mark is. you swore that if looks could kill, ron would've died the second spencer knocked on your door.

"then what's that on her arm?" he questioned, moving closer to you and pushing you behind him defensively. "you hurt her," he accused. you stepped to his side, noting the way he tried to take charge for you.

"spencer," you placed a hand on his arm, forgetting his thing about germs for a second in attempt to calm him down. "i can handle this," he turned to face you. "i've dealt with this asshole for nearly 8 years, isn't that right, ron?" you questioned with a sneaky grin.

"who the hell is this guy, sweetcheeks?" he questioned as if you had an obligation to tell him who he was.

"you don't get to know that. and you don't get to call me that, either," you reminded him, having to bite your lip to try not to explode on the guy.

"are you fucking this guy?" he accused you. you pushed spencer out of the way, and squinted your eyes at him in disbelief.

"you're seriously asking me that?" you asked. "if i was, it's still none of your fucking business, asshole!" you said getting closer to his face in order to make a point.

slap!

the asshole slapped you.

spencer quickly grabbed you and moved you out of the way before pushing the guy into the wall, knocking your fake plant over as well as a few books on the shelf on the wall. ron's face was smashed into the wall, one of his arms twisted behind his back as both were in spencer's grasp.

"don't you dare touch her. ever again," he demanded, twisting his arm even further, ron squirming to get out of his grip. "did you hear me?"

your hand cupped the side of your face, the sting from ron's wedding band hurting more than you would've thought.

"ahh! yes! yes, i heard you!" he squealed.  

"good. now you can apologize to her like a gentleman," he ordered, pushing his arm further up into his back to elicit another groan from the man, you had a hard time keeping a straight face from the scene in front of you.

"shit! ouch! okay! i'm sorry! i'm sorry!" he apologized in a high pitched tone, still trying to get out of spencer's grasp.

"good job," he released him from his grip, a sigh coming from ron at the freedom his arm received. "now go before i change my mind and cuff you right here," he ordered.

"cuff me?" he asked in disbelief. spencer pulled his fbi badge out, flashing it in ron's face, noticing the way his eyebrows shot up. "oh shit."

you moved your hand away from your face, looking at your hand and noticing the patch of blood that remained there. you wiped your cheek, trying to stop the blood flow.

"what did i just say?" spencer asked. "leave. now."

"right," ron said, walking back over towards the door, whispering to you on the way out. "don't bother coming to work tomorrow. or ever again."

"oh that'll be no problem, boss," you scoffed as he made his way out of the door, leaving you and spencer alone in your office.

"i'm uh, sorry about your plant," he pointed at the fake succulent that lay on the floor.

"it was fake anyway," you shrugged as you kneeled down to pick it up as spencer began picking the books up. "thank you, by the way," you smiled at the man.

"it's nothing, really," it was his turn to shrug. "hotch wouldn't have let me on the next case if i didn't intervene in whatever was going on."

oh. so that's why he helped you. of course it was. you were his superior's little sister, nothing else.

"so, what brings you here?" you asked as he offered you his hand to help you stand up, you gladly took it and rose to your feet. "oh sorry, you have a germ... my bad" you grimaced at the thought of making him uncomfortable.

"oh, don't worry about it. and i was actually here to bring you your blazer," he said, retrieving the jacket from the chair and giving it back to you. "i uhm, you forgot it at the restaurant."

"right, i noticed that once i got here. thank you," you thanked him, placing the jacket over your arm and picking up your bag. "you've already saved me twice today and we've only just met," you laughed.

"it seems that way," he smiled, walking with you out of the office. he gently grabbed your shoulder and turned you to face him once you were outside. "your face is bleeding, y/n."

"oh," you reached your hand up to notice the way the blood was still lightly flowing. "oops," you laughed.

"you should clean it up, you don't need to get that infected," he suggested, his hand tracing the outskirts of ron's handprint on your face.

"thanks for the recommendation, doc," you laughed. "i think i have some stuff back at my place that i could use."

"i'm so sorry that happened," he frowned slightly, his hand dropping to his side.

"ehh," you shrugged. "i'm sure you've seen worse. besides, i can handle myself," you said as he began walking with you in the direction of your car.

"let me see your arm?" he asked softly.

you brought it up closer to his eyesight. he gently grasped your arm, nothing like the way he had done to ron earlier in your office. his touch left goosebumps on your skin, the soft way his fingers traced your arm.

"it's already bruising, so i think it's only a subcutaneous bruise, luckily," he diagnosed.

"i'll bet you could pass as a medical doctor if you tried," you noted, nudging his arm gently with yours.

"many people make that mistake already! it's a frequent misconception by a lot of people i meet," he smiled.

"if i hadn't already known what kind of doctor you were, i'm sure i might've fallen into that misconception," you added with a grin as you approached your car. "so, this is me," you smiled and nodded at the tall man.

"oh! right! uhm..." he trailed off. "it was nice to meet you, y/n," he smiled kindly.

his smile's nice. warm. very home-like.

"it was nice to meet you too," you smiled. "thank you, again. for saving me back there."

"of course. anytime. i'm just glad i got there before anything got too bad..." he furrowed his brows at the not so distant memory.

"yea, you and me both, handsome," you joked, noticing the way his cheeks blushed at the compliment. "so where are you parked? the least i could do is give you a ride to your car," you suggested.

"oh, i was actually on my way to the metro. driving isn't really my thing..." he grimaced.

"then how about i drive you home?" you asked, wanting to figure out how to thank the perfect man that stood before you.

"i-i don't want you to be going out of your way..." he shook his head.

"look, spencer, i won't force you to do anything, but i want to do this," you placed a hand on his forearm. "at least as a thank you."

"um..." he looked at his watch, noticing the time. "okay, i guess that'd be nice. besides, i've missed the last ride to where i need to go," he shrugged with a small grin.

"great! just tell me where to, doc," you said as you both got into your car.

"capital plaza apartments," he announced with a grin.

"sounds great," you said as you turned the key in the ignition, backing out of your parking spot and starting the way towards his apartment. "so, you've worked at the bau for 12 years? right?"

"yea. i started when i was 22," he announced.

"right, i remember aaron telling me how you were the youngest member of the team when you got there," you encouraged him to continue.

"right again. they actually had to make an exception to let me into the field," he laughed softly. "they had to waiver basically every physical exam on account of my mental capabilities."

"i mean, whatever works. it's so intriguing that at such a young age you know so much, and your knowledge is only expanding," you shook your head in disbelief.

"well you've accomplished quite a lot and you're only 30. working at a firm for 8 years and being as successful as you are is remarkable," he remarked.

"thank you, spencer," you looked over at the man and smiled before stopping at the red light.

"do you have any tissues?" he asked, you furrowed your brows in question. "your cheek is still bleeding," he informed you.

"oh! there right there in the glovebox," you pointed across his lap as he grabbed the tissue from the compartment and reached across the console himself.

you leaned in across the console yourself, trying to make it easier for him to wipe it off. he cautiously used it to dab the little blood remaining on your cheek off, his hand lingering for a while.

you looked up to meet his eyes, the red from the stoplight illuminating his facial structure in a way that was otherworldly. you were entranced by each others' gaze, not even noticing the light turned green until the car behind you honked their horn, alerting you to step on the gas.

"oh! sorry," you apologized, biting the inside of your lip as you continued to drive him back to his apartment.

"don't be," he swallowed the lump in his throat.

sooner than later, you pulled into his apartment complex to drop him off.

"thank you so much, again, spencer," you placed a hand on his upper arm to emphasize your thanks.

"you don't need to thank me, y/n. i was happy to help," he placed one of his much larger hands on top of yours, squeezing it gently before he made his way out of your car. "goodbye."

"goodbye, spencer," you returned as you watched him walk up to his apartment building, practically gawking at the man that saved you.

you drove back to your house quickly, entering the code for the gate. you noticed yet another piece of paper taped to the front of the gate. you ripped it off the metal, and placed it inside your bag.

upon entering you placed your bag on the hook that remained on your wall after retrieving the sheet of paper from it. you kicked your shoes off beside the door neatly, walking into your kitchen to pour yourself a small glass of wine before tending to your wound.

you walked into your bathroom and gazed at the handprint on your face, noticing the small gash that remained on your cheekbone. after washing your face, you used an antibiotic on the cut, placing a small bandage overtop.

walking into your bedroom, you admired the view from the large window as you changed into your pajamas. you were too tired to eat anything, but you knew you needed to get something into your system.

you walked back into your kitchen and found a granola bar you could eat quickly. you grabbed the sheet of paper and walked back into your living room as you continued to eat.

underneath your sofas, there are storage bins that you keep extra things inside. what also happens to be inside of that bin is a small, old shoebox. inside of that shoebox you placed the note, along with all the others you've received, not bothering to read it this time.

you made your way back into the bathroom, brushed your teeth, and returned to your bedroom.

it was a long day, very eventful. you could only hope the letters would stop if you got the job at the bau. but for now... sleep.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead ��'s bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[minhoslut]

♡ summary: Y/N is a fairy in a world of magic hating humans, who moves into a house with seven young men after being kicked out of her old dorm. She learns about all their secrets while hiding hers for as long as she can. Lots of parties, games, sex and maybe even love.

♡ pairing: ot7 x fem!reader, fem!reader x various idols

♡ chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | ? |

♡ series warnings: alcohol consumption, blood mention, drug use, mxm, fxf, threesome, foursome, orgy, swearing, anxiety, depression, past trauma, past abuse

♡ series genre: fluff, smut, slight angst

♡ series rating: R

♡ word count: 2114

♡ posted on: AO3

♡ chapter nine: girls like girls

You found yourself out on the deck soon after the party had begun, sipping a second Love Potion that Seokjin had made for you. Jungkook and Jimin joined you, and the three of you danced amongst the other people out on the deck. "Do you guys ever get tired of the parties?" You asked. You were sure they'd been doing the same thing for months, maybe years, so you were curious about their view. "I'll never get tired of partying! It's way too much fun to dance and drink with people." Jungkook said a grin on his face. Jimin nodded, "It's a nice way to mingle with others, plus watching people do dumb shit when they are drunk is fun as fuck!" You laughed at his comment, he wasn't wrong about that.

Finishing off your second drink, you left the two men outside as you headed over to the area where most people were dancing. It was hot, everyone so close together, grinding and twisting their bodies together. A girl with long brown hair in a short purple dress with a strappy open back that accentuated her waist caught your eye.

You made your way over to her swaying your body in time with hers and sending her a flirty smile. "Hi~ I'm Y/N, what's your name?" The girl smiled back at you and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm Jennie, I love your dress! You look hot as fuck." You bite your lip, "I could say the same to you, that purple fits you so well~" Jennies hands find purchase on your waist while your own hook over her shoulders. Your legs slot together while the two of you grind and wave together. It's sensual, and the look in Jennies eye leads you to believe things will just get better. The eyeshadow she had on was glittering in the light, her winged liner sharp and precise, lips coated in shiny pink gloss. A small braid on each side of her head kept her bangs from distracting from her beauty.

You wondered if she modeled, she'd be perfect for it in your opinion. Jennie leaned in and whispered in your ear, her breath hot,  "Do you know a room around here where it's more private~" You brought her close and said, "I live here so we can go to my room." Jennie seemed slightly surprised but happy regardless as she pulled away and reached for your hand. You lead her through the maze of other bodies, then up the two sets of stairs to your room.

In your room, the two of you sat on the bed and Jennie leaned in and kissed you softly on the lips. You reciprocated easily, twisting your body so you were in her lap, and kissing her with more passion. Her hands kneaded at your ass while yours found their way to her boobs, the two of you as close as possible, lips locked in a wet embrace. Jennie reached up your back and began to undo your zipper, helping you shimmy out of the skin-tight dress before she took off her own leaving you both in your panties. She pushed you down on the bed so that she was now straddling you with her legs on either side of your waist, her hands beside your shoulders holding her top half just barely above yours.

Jennie started pressing hot kisses into the skin of your neck and along your collarbone, "So pretty~" She cooed between kisses, making you whimper beneath her. "Jennie~" You moaned keening into her, addicted to the feeling of her plush lips on your warm skin. Her skin was soft against your own, your tits rubbing against hers as she came up to kiss your lips once more. Your hands trailed down her body, feeling the warmth radiate off of her and onto you, your hands squeezed her ass earning you a moan. "Do you wanna do something more?" Jennie asked between kisses, "Sure~" You bit your lip as she sat up and moved off of you, pulling your thong down your legs and then removing her own.

She patted her thigh, so you crawled over and straddled it, then ran your hands down her body all the way to her sweet pussy. "Cute." You murmur brushing over the hair that's been shaved into the shape of a heart, making her giggle. Jennie pushed her leg up encouraging you to grind against the smooth skin of her thigh, which you did happily. You steadied yourself with a hand on her shoulder, leaving the other to rub against her clit. "Tell me how you like it, baby~" You said, moving your hand against her heat with slow but firm pressure, while still rolling your hips against her thigh.

"You're so wet for me, I can feel it on my leg." Jennie said, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, "Put your fingers in, make me cum." You do as you're told, curling in the wet heat of her pussy, egged on by the moans falling from her lips. She holds your hips tightly, helping you to grind into her so that you could reach your own high. Both of your breathing speeds up as you get close, "Cum with me Y/N~" Jennie said before pushing her lips against yours to capture the wanton moans that were pouring from them. You cum with a shudder, your hips stuttering against her as she tightened around your fingers, cumming with you.

You lean your head against Jennies shoulder, breathing heavily as she pets your hair gently. "That was fun~ Maybe we can do it again sometime? Maybe ask one of the bangtan boys to join~" You looked up at her confused. "You can tell by how you talk to them there's chemistry, and I'm not looking for anything serious. The more the merrier!" She said with a wink, "Oh, I could bring one of my friends too, I bet she'd love it." You smile brightly, she seems to have a similar mindset to yourself. The two of you get dressed, and exchange phone numbers, then head down the stairs together.

You leave Jennie and head over to the kitchen to do some shots, finding your housemates already at the island. "Hey! Since we're all here let's do a shot for each of us." Taehyung suggested when you joined the seven men. "Fuck yeah!" You were in the mood to get blasted, and this seemed to be the perfect way. "Jin, can you make the rainbow shots?" Yoongi asked, causing a bright smile to appear on Seokjins lips. "Of course! It's my specialty after all~" He set about collecting glasses and the correct bottles of liquor.

"What are rainbow shots? I feel like I've heard of them but never done it." You asked, your curiosity apparent. "Basically Jin is gonna mix 8 drinks in different colours of the rainbow, then you take all eight in a row as fast as you can." Namjoon explained and you hummed in understanding. "That sounds fun, do we have enough shot glasses though?" You asked. Hoseok put a hand on your shoulder, "You underestimate the number of times we've done this. Haven't you seen the shot shelf?" You briefly recalled seeing such a thing but you hadn't paid much attention.

"Here we are!" Seokjin announced presenting eight rows of eight brightly coloured shots. "To having a full house, and a new housemate who fits like a glove!" Namjoon toasted, then you all did your individual line of shots. Thankfully, the shots were not as bitter as you might have expected, but as you downed the final one you felt the effects hit you immediately. "Fuck that'll take you out huh!" You said with a giggle, "The point of it indeed." Yoongi said, sliding a hand around your waist. Your housemates dispersed amongst the party-goers now that you were all drunk, leaving just you, Yoongi, and Taehyung at the island.

"Let's go outside~" You said, tugging Yoongi and Taehyung along with you out to the grassy portion of the backyard. There are very few people out beside yourselves, and you spin happily in the open space. This just makes you feel dizzier than before though so you fall to the ground in a giggly heap. "Y/N~ Be careful!" Taehyung said, though he himself is stumbling too as he comes over to help you up. He unsurprisingly ends up falling to the ground with you instead of managing to have you stand. Yoongi shook his head and came to lie down beside the two of you, a much smarter decision than trying to get either of you up.

"Y/N I can't wait till we can tell you about us." Taehyung slurs and you giggle, "Why do you have to wait! Tell me now!" Your interest has been piqued but your mind is still so blurry. "Tae, remember where we are." Yoongis voice sounds oddly serious and you roll over to look at him, his face is creased in a slight frown which makes you sad. The alcohol in your system deems that the worst thing on Earth and you begin to cry. "I'm sorry Yoongi!" You bury your face in his chest as he hovers his hands above you in bewilderment. "Sh, sh, it's ok Y/N!" Taehyung said as he curls behind you. Yoongi begins to rub small circles into your back and you eventually calm down.

"Don't be sad Yoongi, don't hate me." You whisper, lifting your head to look into his eyes. He smiles at you and you feel much better. The three of you disentangle and sit up and you lean in and press a soft kiss to Yoongis nose and then one to Taehyungs cheek. "There, all better!" You said as if it was them who had been crying rather than yourself. Yoongi laughs while Taehyung ruffles your hair.

Shouting from inside catches your attention and you stand up and stumble run inside the house, finding Jungkook with his fist full of some random guys shirt. "Say it again I fucking dare you!" Jungkook snarls, his voice thick with anger. The man scoffs, "I said, there better not be any magic freaks around here." Your breath catches in your throat and you feel sick to your stomach. Did they somehow know what you were? But you'd never even seen the man before! "We don't tolerate discrimination against different people in our house, everyone knows that so you better get the fuck out of here before I knock some sense into your thick fucking head." Jungkook spits releasing the dude from his grip and standing back. The man huffs but leaves like he's told, with everyone's eyes on him.

"Alright, I think we are going to end this now everyone thanks for coming!" Namjoon announces to the crowd which earns some grumbles, but people seem to understand that it is necessary. You watch the stream of people leave the house, your hands are shaking at the memory of the mans voice. It was like you were back in your old dorm when you'd been discovered. The voices of your roommates echoed in your head, "Fucking freak!" - "I wish I never met you." - "You're an abomination." - "I never want to see you again." You fall to your knees and press your hands over your ears, willing the voices to go away, but they just seem to grow louder.

"/N! Y/N! It's ok, Y/N everyone's gone!" You are shaken from the memories by Jimins concerned voice. You gasp, and tears begin to fall from your eyes for the second time that night. Jimin quickly pulls you into his arms and holds you tightly, whispering reassurance into your ear and rocking you gently. When you stopped crying Jimin pulled away slightly and studied your face intensely before wiping away any remaining tears. "Let's get you to bed hm?" He said softly, but you shook your head not wanting to be left alone in fear the voices would return. "How about I bring you to my room then?" You nod lightly and sniffle as he lifts you into his arms.

He carried you to his room, setting you gently on the bed which you quickly snuggled into sliding under the covers. The sheets smelled like Jimin and it felt safe. You felt Jimin slide in beside you, leaving room between the two of you, which you immediately closed by moving to lay your head on his chest. Jimin chuckled lightly, but let you do as you wished, combing his fingers through your hair until you fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jude & Jac

Jude: [sends her the snaps as if she hasn't seen that the fuckboy posted them like obvs she has seen them if you have gal but okay] Jude: ?! Jac: yeah Jac: bit rude he didn't tag us, I guess Jude: he never tags anyone Jude: idk if he knows how Jac: I'm sure I'll still get the ❤s Jude: & the dms Jac: alls well that ends well then Jude: at least your night didn't end in 🚔👮🚨 Jac: the joys of being of age Jac: what party got shutdown then Jude: Amelia's Jude: 🏡👀👵 Jac: No shit Jac: it's like throwing a party in a nursing home Jude: 🤣 it was decent before then though Jude: I'd give it an 8 Jac: @ her Jac: you know how to do them Jude: she ain't gonna take it on board when she's losing points for not enough straight boys Jude: just take it as a 🥇🏆 Jac: what do you expect Jude: 0 expectations Jac: yeah, that's something to shout about Jude: like you've got a leg to stand on there but alright Jac: ?! Jude: you were always going on at me about my rep before & you're not even bothered about yours now Jac: how do you know I'm not bothered Jude: ⬆ Jac: I'm not bothered about talking to you about Amelia's party Jac: that has no interest for me Jude: I only mentioned my 🏃 & my rating Jac: why? Jac: I didn't ask Jude: obvs you're 🤐 Jude: why would I wait for you to ask Jac: heaven forbid we aren't subjected to a never-ending stream of consciousness Jude: my bad for checking in, like Jude: 🙄 Jac: where, where'd you do that Jude: ⬆ Jac: you mean when you talk about yourself again, yeah, cool Jac: where would I be without that kind of care Jude: oh come on Jude: you don't have to @ me if there's owt you wanna say Jac: and clearly there isn't Jac: so don't bother rolling your eyes, you came into my inbox Jac: so you say what you want to say then piss off Jude: what are you so fuming for? Jac: Jesus, you're self-absorbed Jac: why the fuck do you think Jude: I 🤔💭 you know what he's like Jac: blame me then, that's a hot take Jude: nah, you don't do anything without your own 🥇💡 for every way it can play out Jac: and what possible reason would I have for doing this Jude: idk Jac: sherlock you ain't Jude: never said I was Jude: you're the 🧠 Jac: then you're chatting shit Jude: I can be the 🥊 if you want & you are bothered by the shit everyone's gonna chat Jac: I can handle it Jude: alright Jac: people are just jealous Jac: he's the hottest boy still at our school Jude: yeah, that's undeniable Jac: they judge but they all would if they could Jude: no shit Jude: how he gets away with being too thick to @ Jac: not as if I was there to do homework Jude: he has people he 💰 is what I heard Jude: for the homework bit Jac: yeah he's loaded Jac: might go out with him for the presents Jude: like I said 🥇💡 Jac: obviously Jude: I got asked out last night an' all but it was a no Jac: there were some straight boys that weren't our brother then Jac: interesting Jude: mates of mine Jude: or so I 🤔💭 Jac: that's all boys want Jude: it's whatever, I can handle it Jac: sure Jude: ? or ! Jac: . Jac: ... if you really wanna get a sense of my disbelief Jude: 👌 Jac: Cool, you can tell Jesse he's a traitor too Jude: he's not here Jude: hang on 📢🗨 Jude: probs helping her 🧼🧽🧹🗑 before her mum & dad get back Jac: Tragic Jude: bit weird that they're best mates now Jude: she 👻 us for ages after you fell out Jac: it's not weird, just sad, as aforementioned Jude: she loves his new 🎵 that'll do him Jude: 💃 to whatever the 💊 she was on though Jac: if you have to buy your fans with 🧼🧽🧹🗑 you can't be any good Jude: 🤣 Jac: 🙄 Jude: maybe he just can't get his head through her door Jac: yes, playing a party for free is really impressive Jac: especially when the host has no friends Jude: 💔 you're not 📢🗨 to him Jude: be a decent ego check, that Jac: I have no desire to talk to him either Jude: I know Jude: called him a traitor & then dragged him Jac: I'm glad that's clear Jude: 💎 Jac: then I won't have to hit him again Jude: & none of us will have to put up with him 😭 Jude: tah for that Jac: hardly my fault he's a pussy Jude: not getting the 🎻 out Jac: makes a change Jude: he had a go at me for being there Jude: such a dickhead Jac: wants his new best friend to himself Jac: has no one told him she's actually gay Jude: he'd have to be thicker than your new bf not to work it out Jac: probably thinks everyone puts it on like he does Jude: she's never got with a lad has she? Jac: I don't know Jude: it's what everyone says but loads of what they 🗨 is bollocks Jac: makes no odds to the fact everyone will be saying that he clearly fancies her Jude: yeah Jude: do you reckon he does? Jac: why else would he do that for her Jude: she's got no mates, might just reckon she needs one Jac: sure Jude: like when you took Savannah in Jac: not really Jac: she had friends Jude: not proper ones Jac: still, she weren't begging for friends Jac: or approaching the kind of pathetic Amelia is these days Jude: I guess Jac: there's no question Jude: she did seem really 💔😭🎻 Jude: I'd be well chuffed if mum & dad pissed off for the weekend Jac: you know they're weirdly close Jude: I bet her mum has shut down loads of parties she's 👀👂 in everyone's business Jude: bit of karma there or whatever Jac: surprising they've gone away Jac: she's clearly miserable with her life Jude: her house is wild Jude: I'd never been before Jac: if wild meant insanely boring, yeah, sure Jude: nursing home is right Jude: that's what I meant Jac: I know Jude: my mates who don't have 🐶🐱 live in 🏠 that look like they belong on the telly Jude: not that Jac: like I said, her mum has no life Jac: when she's not got her nose in everyone's business, she's making ugly shit for their house Jude: making it? Jude: 🥉 Jac: pinterest Jac: hope Jesse knows the future he's signing up for Jude: not 🤘🎸😎🏆 Jac: 🔪👀 🤯🔫 more like Jude: *🤪👵 Jac: if you think her mum is miserable, imagine how her dad feels Jac: is my point Jude: god yeah Jude: 💀 Jac: no wonder she's dating girls Jude: I wonder if she is going out with anyone Jac: why would you care Jude: if Jess does Jude: he's a dickhead but I don't want him to be 💔 Jac: 🙄 Jude: is dad down there with you? Jac: no clue Jude: is his 🚪🔐? Jac: they never forget now they're obsessed with trying to imprison me Jude: ugh Jac: still, I'm going out Jude: let me out with you, I g2g & mum's being aggro about it Jac: why would I Jude: why not? Jac: because I have no reason to help you Jude: 🤔💭 of a reason then Jude: I'll do it if you help me Jac: there's nothing you could offer me, thanks Jude: come on Jac: why do you think they're any more likely to let me out Jude: cos they do Jude: you're officially off the rails Jac: no, the difference is, I don't care if they say I can or not Jac: that's your problem that you do Jude: I still have things I care about that they can take off me Jac: sucks to be you then Jude: cheers Jude: top quality sisterly advice Jac: I don't care about you Jude: I got that cos you keep saying it over & over Jac: Why are you still here Jude: what else am I gonna do? homework? Jude: not allowed to go nowhere Jac: might be an idea Jude: 💩💡 Jac: you'll live Jude: 🤏 Jac: you're all so pathetic Jude: it's you acting so hard done by Jac: yeah Jac: how'd you work that one out, genius Jude: the whinging happening Jude: just mute me like you have irl Jac: I'm not the one begging to go out Jac: but sure Jude: I asked, once, but alright Jac: and now you're moaning about having to do homework, which you won't do anyway Jac: and this whole time have been talking about things I don't care about ad nausea Jac: but you're SO right Jude: nah, I answered that I'd rather stay here 🗨 than do it since you asked Jac: you're boring, Jude Jude: you can't be bothered to chuck out a decent insult, nowt to do with me Jac: it's just the truth Jac: you wish there was anything more colourful to call you Jac: you just are Jude: you wish I was 💔😭 like Jess when you start on him Jac: if you get it, like you say, then you'd realise I literally don't think about you at all Jude: I get that you want me to piss off rn, it ain't happening Jac: I want you to piss off, that's about your lot Jac: so have at it Jude: yeah yeah Jude: just said that myself Jac: then do it Jude: what you gonna do 🥊 me? Jac: don't start or you'll find out Jude: you start everything Jac: so? Jude: so 🥊 me Jude: idc about that Jude: I'll smack you back Jac: then I'll fucking kill you Jac: leave me alone, I have nothing to say to you, I don't want to hear anything from you Jac: it's as simple as that Jude: but why? Jude: you've never said Jac: I don't like you Jude: it's more than that Jac: What could be more than that Jude: you didn't like me before, we still 🗨 Jac: and what was the point Jude: you're my sister Jac: and Jude: and you used to be bothered about it Jac: not now Jude: what happened? Jac: I got bored of you Jude: alright Jac: great Jude: [no reply I can really give so I'll just leave that there lol]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Not too shabby, Jimothy Janis: How about you? Jimmy: Been better Jimmy: You know 😏 Janis: Goes without saying Janis: we both make do like but all things considered Janis: think it was 'reet' as you would say Jimmy: You're so full of craic Jimmy: No wonders I miss you already like Jimmy: But yeah it was alright Janis: 🍀 Janis: Take the compliment even though with present company its not asking much of me is it Janis: No shade to Cass or Bobs Jimmy: Want another, do ya? #thirstyworkthis Jimmy: Full of 'em thankfully Janis: Who you calling thirsty?! 😉 Jimmy: Denying it? Jimmy: Bold move Janis: Your word against mine Jimmy: Fair. You are louder than me Jimmy: Gonna get drowned out Janis: 😳 Janis: Prick! Janis: Not my fault that you just grunt like a caveman at all times Jimmy: If you aren't about it, do something about it, mate Jimmy: Just saying 😏 Janis: Ha.. what, teach you proper English? Janis: Not sure I got the time or dedication to the cause tbh 🤔 Jimmy: Nah you haven't got the vocab 🇮🇪 Jimmy: Need more than 🍀 is the drama Janis: 🖕 Janis: Drama is the only subject you're about, more like Janis: not working with an unwilling pupil Jimmy: You can't be my muse across every subject, mate Jimmy: So thirsty like Janis: Ugh Janis: I hate you Janis: So glad you're not here now Jimmy: Can't shut me up from this far away though Jimmy: We both know you've got means otherwise Janis: Such a blatant hussy Janis: all becomes clear now 😂 Jimmy: Skerries brings it out in me Janis: Well what happens in Skerries, like Jimmy: Shit. Hang on Janis: Okay Janis: Is it? Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: As you were Jimmy: What did I miss? Janis: Damn, didn't hear me lamenting under ya window? Janis: Guess the thirst isn't THAT real Janis: You good? Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Shame you weren't, could've caught me when I was tempted to throw myself out dramatically like Janis: That bad then? Janis: 'Cos you went away, like? Jimmy: My dad just had a weekend worth of opinions he simply had to share with me about how I've been spending my time Janis: I can imagine Janis: You aren't free childcare though Janis: I know my fam are lax about certain shit others aren't but he is taking the piss Janis: Right? Jimmy: It isn't like I even mind about looking after them, he's acting as if I'm desperate to be rid when I'd rather have 'em than leave them with him Jimmy: None of us wanna play happy families with him and his missus Jimmy: Have your fucking alone time Janis: Soon to be asking that, gotta be realistic Janis: Esp. with how little he's given the kiddos re. you're Ma Janis: What a headfuck, can't just transition seamlessly, son Janis: and as for the rest of that shite, he just KNOWS that'll make you feel guilty, Jim Janis: I don't know anyone who puts as much work in with their fam, he's not got a leg to stand on there, just knows what'll work on you, that's all Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it fucks me off though, it really does Jimmy: Feels like ages since we went away already and I'm only just back through the door Janis: I know Janis: Sometimes I wish we could just take 'em and leave for good Janis: Not really though, I know that's a lowkey fucked thing to wish considering Janis: Not trying to be an insensitive cunt, just hate it when he gets to you, if I could do something about it forreal, I would Jimmy: You do Jimmy: Not trying to make you feel awkward bout it but you do really help me Jimmy: I wouldn't be able to hack half as much of this if you weren't about Janis: 'Course you would Janis: You did before, like, since you was 13 Janis: That's mental Janis: Don't usually wanna gas you up this much but you're fucking strong, and I know you had to for 'em but still are Janis: Own it, big 'ead Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Still wish you were here though Jimmy: Or we were there Janis: Duh, I'm a delight Janis: and not going anywhere anytime soon so Janis: you're in 🍀 Jimmy: About time I had some Janis: That's the spirit Janis: just hit your Da with that quality bants 😎 Janis: won't have no comebacks, I bet Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: Sooner I can get my own flat the better Jimmy: Debating jacking school in but then who'd be there to get Mr Lucas' rocks off Janis: Won't someone please think about Mr Lucas n his needs?! Janis: Such a hero Janis: Forreal? Be a shame, like Janis: Not just for the art department Jimmy: I know. I wouldn't get to spend all day eye fucking you for starters Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I dunno, sometimes it's the only peace I get from dickheads, kids and mad dogs but they aren't paying me to be there like Janis: Can't have you using your skillz on the CG punters instead Janis: Get restraining orders or their order over ya like Janis: Makes sense though, shame there ain't a compensation scheme like Janis: Maybe you could get run over and then say the Dr fucked you over Janis: double bubble Jimmy: Get your nan round to beat me up again Jimmy: Have a go too, be a hero, mate Jimmy: If anyone asked there was loads of 'em and I didn't see a single face, sorry Janis: 😂 Janis: and defs not a pensioner and a teenage girl either like Janis: probs the 'RA after you, like Janis: sell that shit to The Sun, boyo Janis: full of good ideas, me Jimmy: Quality Jimmy: I am gonna have to get another job at least Jimmy: any ideas there? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lets put our heads together Janis: What are your skills, Mr Taylor? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Janis: There's a market for it Janis: Mia could be your sugar mama, play your cards right Jimmy: I'd happily go broke in that case Jimmy: Live in this box room forever like Janis: You got principles now? Janis: Didn't have 'em when you was sucking face with Tam 🤔 Interesting 😂 Jimmy: When Mia's concerned it's called common sense Janis: Don't reckon you got staying power to be nothing more than another flavour of the month? Janis: She does go through them, admirable in a way given all she's seemingly working against Jimmy: I know I haven't Jimmy: Kissed goodbye to my new boy appeal ages ago Janis: I dunno Janis: I still reckon you're alright Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [Sends a picture of Twix] Speaking of Jimmy: Absence has made the heart grow fonder for someone Janis: Real MVP Janis: been wearing you out instead of her Janis: You owe her, like 😜 Jimmy: I'm gonna bin off school Jimmy: I can make it up to her then Jimmy: Just for the day, keep calm dad Janis: Lol, really prove his point, like Janis: Teen's prerogative Janis: Fair though, I'm pretty knackered Jimmy: yeah why not Jimmy: you don't wanna come over to keep us both company then? Janis: You don't have to ask Janis: if you just wanna 💤 Janis: Not gonna be that bitch Jimmy: what kinda bitch you gonna be Janis: I've not decided yet, watch out world Jimmy: Keep me posted Jimmy: Twix needs to get a jump on her competition Janis: Look, baby girl, if its a competition between you and school then it is none Janis: but the lad here needs a break Janis: I'm soz 💔 Jimmy: 😎💪🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: You turning sleep into a sport now? Jimmy: Have you seen Twix when she gets going on a dream? #Athleticaf Janis: Aww 😍 Janis: why you taking on the champ, gonna have you picking up her shit- oh wait Janis: s'a dog's life forreal Jimmy: She was the one being #goals all along Janis: Truly Janis: can I come over actually Janis: I want to Janis: Call me thirsty all you wanna Jimmy: I want you here too Jimmy: We're even Janis: What was that? You actually admitting defeat? Janis: 😮 Janis: Never thought I'd see the day, Taylor Jimmy: Don't get used to it, like Jimmy: But I do owe you one for sorting Skerries Janis: I'll take it Janis: Even if it was hardly selfless of me like Jimmy: I'm alright with you being selfish if it means getting away from the shit Janis: Easily sorted Janis: S'my default, ask the fam Jimmy: I would but I'm gonna see how long I can carry on pretending families don't exist 😎 Janis: Not gonna say challenge accepted when you're being a good boy Janis: but I like the sound of that too Janis: plus, unfair, numbers wise Jimmy: You are at a disadvantage Jimmy: Never usually let that losing streak stop you though Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Fuck off Janis: Selective memory sore loser 😒 Janis: I got this in the bag anyway, you can't be cunty to kids Janis: I'm away there, all my fam be grown...ish Jimmy: You're gonna have to jog it for me cause all I see in my past are wins, mate Jimmy: Not that you can trusted if you've forgotten how much of a dickhead I am Janis: I know you find it hard to keep up with me but Janis: at least try, mate 😉 Jimmy: Don't have to. I'm a natural at beating you Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😑 Janis: I feel its my duty to inform you this isn't how you make girls like you, you know Janis: otherwise your chances of getting a new gf to stick are slim Jimmy: It's alright I don't want a new girlfriend Jimmy: And I know what works on the one I've got 😏 Janis: What a charmer Jimmy: You aren't denying it 😎 progress Janis: What's your game? Janis: Suspect Jimmy: No games Janis: Yeah right Janis: got my eye on you boy Jimmy: You always do Jimmy: 😎💪💕 Janis: 🕵 you're a shady character that's why Janis: could be a 36 y/o russian spy Jimmy: 😲 Jimmy: with this face? rude Janis: deep cover Janis: obvs want me for the olympics cos why else Jimmy: busted Janis: fans gonna be gutted Janis: never mind will they won't they Janis: rollercoaster from fake start to fake end Jimmy: We're gonna need new #s Janis: #whendimitriisnottheone #comradeBYE Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get the vodka shots in Jimmy: Win you back like Janis: Not that easy Janis: but not gonna say no Jimmy: #thirsty Janis: how did we end up back here Jimmy: Too true for you to keep avoiding, mate Janis: what you think Janis: queen of avoidance Janis: won't see me for dust Jimmy: I'll see you tomorrow, babe Janis: Only by proxy Janis: 'cos my true love is there Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: Don't worry, we can still have mindless sex Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Done Janis: Heart healed real fast Janis: Called it Jimmy: I'm easy Janis: Didn't wanna say it, kid Jimmy: Ask Tam she'll tell you Janis: I bet she would Janis: Unlike you I do my best to avoid her though so no tah Jimmy: Don't know what you're missing there, mate Janis: Ha, you can get fucked Janis: I'm not having a threesome with you and Tam Janis: not even for the #drama Jimmy: what about for the #craic? Jimmy: You'd be lucky anyway she's only about me 😎 Janis: So jealous 😒 Janis: Twat Janis: How about a mmf threesome, bet YOU ain't so keen now Jimmy: Depends who you're considering Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas I'm well in Janis: All fun and games now but you know he'd be way too down Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: Too real Janis: Mhmm, that mouth gon' get you in trouble one day Janis: what am I gonna do with you, eh? Janis: 😇 over here Jimmy: I'm the bad influence like Jimmy: Take that dad Janis: Yeah, I'll just tell him, like Janis: Problem solved Janis: Please him no end having to have a chinwag with me 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: done deal Jimmy: not like we're trying to avoid him or owt Janis: oh, just thought we were trying to avoid our own, like Janis: there goes my bruch goss sesh Janis: gutted Jimmy: Keep up, mate Jimmy: Gotta totally isolate ourselves for that teen angst cliche Janis: Umm Janis: 🚩 Janis: are you going to tell me next that no one else cares about me but you? and that I need to block everyone and give you my phone Jimmy: You can tell your fam that next time Gracie's blowing up your phone Janis: I'd pay to see her rescue mission but Janis: I'll let it get to the danger zone before I do anything, standard Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: Can't fault you there Janis: Give you time to get proper creeper Janis: up ya game Jimmy: I'll take that Jimmy: Challenge accepted as per Janis: G'wan then Janis: Don't scare easy Jimmy: I already figured that out Janis: Clever boy 😉 Jimmy: have my moments Jimmy: Don't even need school, see? Janis: Still wanna jack it in then? Janis: Let Monday pass, see how you feel Jimmy: I don't wanna really Jimmy: Just being a crybaby about being stuck under this roof Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fair Janis: I feel it Janis: You can always squat in the barn if you're quiet Janis: won't charge you Janis: much Jimmy: I can be quiet Jimmy: If you don't blow my cover we'll be alright Janis: Excuse me Janis: I'm stealth as fuck Janis: you know you got caught the other day yeah Janis: was saving your ego but Jimmy: Nah Janis: Did so Janis: you know Gracie got her 👀 peeled for you forever Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Should've known that she'd still be obsessed with me Janis: You? Okay 👌🍆 Janis: watch you don't rub your shine off dickhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Thought you'd be buzzing she's switched her allegiance like Janis: Still not getting rid of her is it Janis: Unless you both run off into the sunset and leave me in peace Jimmy: Yeah alright Jimmy: You've got Twix you'll be sorted Janis: Like you give a fuck Janis: finally getting the twin you wanted all along like Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Just playing the long game Janis: Bit of a weird way to play it but Janis: this your usual approach? Jimmy: You're the first twin I've dated Jimmy: Lucky Janis: I really feel it Jimmy: [Sends a pic of Twix looking adorable] Jimmy: Bet you do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Look at what you coulda had Janis: now you're gonna have to get a pug with my sister Janis: sad Jimmy: More of a cat person anyway like 😏 Janis: are you trying to get with my mum? Janis: sicko Jimmy: Nah just over mad bitches, you know Janis: Defs wanna avoid this entire fam then Jimmy: Nah their alright Jimmy: And not just by comparison Janis: Hmm maybe from the outside looking in Janis: They aren't but what am I gonna do, emancipate myself? I've got less cash and less of a place to go so not the brightest of ideas Jimmy: Guess we're stuck Jimmy: Twix has a lot of love to give but fuck all cash Janis: Preach Janis: Useless sugar daddy Janis: should take a leaf out my sister's book clearly Jimmy: Bit late for that Jimmy: You're too loved up Janis: Nah Janis: Tell Twix to speak for herself Jimmy: [sends a voice clip of Twix howling] Jimmy: Done Janis: 😂 Janis: aren't you in enough trouble rn boy? don't start her off! Jimmy: She's a bad bitch Jimmy: Can't be told Jimmy: I blame her training meself Janis: Oh, Twix, where you gonna go? Think on, girl Janis: Get what you pay for Janis: You want results, you gotta cough up for my services Jimmy: You can't need new kicks already, mate Jimmy: I know you've been shopping like Jimmy: The social's got you exposed Janis: What makes you think I was paying? 🤔 Janis: Mean she didn't buy you a 'round? Shame Jimmy: I know you weren't Jimmy: Gonna pay when Twix hears about it though Janis: Sure the flat whites are already hunting her down too Janis: Awkward Jimmy: Tam's probably trying to stretch her skin into a suit as we speak Jimmy: She's gonna need a touch of your luck I reckon Janis: Not your usual type, long and lanky then? Janis: That'll be a toughie but she's nothing if not determined, bless her Jimmy: Dunno I can't remember Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Nice Janis: Such a gent Jimmy: I wasn't trying to be Jimmy: She bumped into me and we had a dance to make it less awkward Jimmy: Far as that politeness went Janis: No need to lie 😂 I'm not the one that's gonna be crying about it Jimmy: No need to be jealous cause I'm not Janis: Whatever, weren't together Janis: not against any unwritten rules or other shite Jimmy: Still Jimmy: If you were jealous, like at Cass' party, no need to be Janis: You what? Janis: I weren't, you were being rude, that's all Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Always wanting me to be jealous Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Nope, just saying Jimmy: I'm that dickhead like Janis: What dickhead would that be? Jimmy: A jealous one Janis: Nah Janis: You ain't Janis: why would you be? nothing to be jealous about Jimmy: Forget it Janis: Can't say that, never works, like Jimmy: There's a first time for everything though Jimmy: Worth a go Janis: 🤷 Janis: fine, hit you with the shrug right back Janis: be like that Jimmy: I'm not being like anything Jimmy: I just don't wanna say it. Okay? Janis: Alright Janis: What do you wanna say? Anything? Should I go? Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: It's not your fault like, being too good for me and that Janis: Are you mental? What are you even chatting Janis: Fuck leagues, not even playing the same sport, and I ain't bragging Janis: For once Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: You're fucking stunning like, and that's just looks Janis: 🙄 Janis: Please Janis: that's the start and end of my qualities Janis: don't even make the most of that, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: It isn't Jimmy: And you don't need to, that makes it worse, or better depending on the lens you're viewing through Janis: I've told you, I know what I am Janis: Ain't under any illusion I'm a catch Janis: Not fishing for sympathy like Jimmy: I'm not throwing any sympathy out Jimmy: Or compliments, just facts Jimmy: You are a catch, mate Janis: Blatantly not 'cos no one else thinks or has thought so Janis: what I'm saying, there's nothing to BE jealous about Janis: no one gunning for you 'cos I'm off the market, is there Jimmy: Only cause they can't compete with how #goals we are Janis: Yeah, that's the joke Jimmy: It doesn't have to be Jimmy: I'm not laughing Janis: No? That might've been your reality but it certainly hasn't been mine Janis: There's a reason I was a 'dyke' with no friends, and those reasons haven't disappeared Janis: You would laugh, you do Jimmy: No Janis: Forget it Janis: I'm using mine now too Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: I don't want you to forget what I'm trying to say Jimmy: Even if I am messing it up Janis: you don't have to Janis: say anything Janis: just 'cos I'm being a fucking sad case Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: There's so much shit I wanna say to you, alright? Janis: But you don't know how? Janis: Alright, Liam, fucking hell Jimmy: He was on to something Janis: Maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: You don't need this though, my shit ontop of yours, forreal, so you can forget about it, alright? Jimmy: I'm not that much of dickhead Janis: Ugh, can't you try? Janis: Always claiming the title and now where is it when we need it, eh Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: Got no control over it like that Jimmy: Basically none around you, like Janis: You mean that? Janis: No bullshit, no bants? Jimmy: You know I do Janis: Good Janis: 'cos me either Janis: and I am jealous, really jealous Janis: and you know that too, I know Jimmy: That's why you have to hear me out Jimmy: There's no reason to be Jimmy: I swear Janis: Alright Janis: I'll try Janis: Its not personal, but I know its shitty to be on the other end of it regardless Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I can't lie now, I quite like it Jimmy: Nobody's ever been that bothered about me before Janis: Well they're thick then Janis: I Janis: I dunno Janis: Not had anyone to myself before Janis: that I wanted to keep Janis: not letting go easy, like Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: Me and you. Alright? Jimmy: That's how I want it Janis: Alright Janis: I wish we had a place to go now too Janis: Bad Janis: out of the question storming out in a teen angst rage tonight? Jimmy: It's out of the question for me not to Jimmy: I'll take the car Jimmy: Find us a place Janis: You're already in trouble I guess Janis: Lets do it Janis: I'll be waiting outside Jimmy: I'll be right there Janis: 👌 Janis: what are our chances of sneaking me in though? 🤔 seems silly to come back home only to come back tomorrow like Janis: up for the challenge? Jimmy: Put a coat on it's freezing out Jimmy: You know it 💪🏆 Janis: Cute 🖤 Janis: but as I've pulled, will do Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Got the car keys that's the first hurdle like Jimmy: Don't even need luck Janis: Thank God, like Janis: just that good, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: 💕