#wait does veigar count for this?

[funnyscienceman]

if i had a nickel for every league of legends character i know that has been imprisoned and tortured for a great period of time in some capacity, i would have three nickels, which isn't a lot, but the fact that there are three of them and no fanfics or anything about it makes me kind of annoyed

[mycloneismywaifu]

Shaco’s thoughts on champions..

Aatrox: Such an angry man, definitely needs to relax.

Ahri: quite pretty, everyone seems to like her. I don’t know though..

Akali: Grumpy, but also...balanced, as they would say?

Alistar: Big boy, Small Mind.

Amumu: Oh Nyoh, poor baby...grow up.

Anivia: who left the frozen chicken out to defrost?

Annie: I like their potential, might host a tea party.

Aphelios: Sorry, didn’t hear what you said.

Ashe: chill...hehe...

Aurelion Sol: ALMIGHTY POTENTIAL...Rude as fuck.

Azir: Hm...you had everything, how did it feel to lose so much...?

Bard: BWOMMM....indeed.

Blitzcrank: Metal body, Metal mind, Metal heart...I wonder if you can feel...

Brand: Toasty, I’ll keep you in my fireplace.

Braum: You have a heart worth thousands, but can you save everybody..?

Caitlyn: You claim to be an amazing sherrif, but you haven’t caught me!

Camille: My my, that’s some long...knives.

Cassiopeia;  I like your style...Poison is quite...thrilling in it’s own way~

Cho'Gath: Who’s a good all eating terrifying monster...? YOU ARE!~

Corki: Has ANYONE seen his feet? Anybody?!

Darius: Chop Chop~ You’ve got to catch up to your brother~

Diana: So edgy, but loving the aesthetic~

Dr. Mundo: I’ll see you next week for drinks! Bring the good stuff!

Draven: I heard your brother’s ahead of you, gotta do more work~!

Ekko: Even if you go back in time, you can’t fix your mistakes...~

Elise: Oh My..!

Evelynn: MY OH MY!

Ezreal: Do you really have to dance like that...?

Fiddlesticks: SQUARK!!! ...hah, good times...

Fiora: You’ll never find a worthy opponent with manners like that!

Fizz: Slippery little sucker you are...

Galio: Big. Very Big.

Gangplank: Arrrg! ..got any of those oranges

Garen: You wish for JUSTICE! but what if you’re in the wrong..?

Gnar: Annoying, but sort of cute. Don’t piss it off, whatever you do.

Gragas: My supplier of the finest bourbon. Also a drinking buddy.

Graves: He smells nice.

Hecarim: I love to sneak onto his back to ride on him like a horse...

Heimerdinger: ...Fucking know it all.

Illaoi: I tried arm wrestling with her ones. Never again.

Irelia: K n i v e s, so many K N I V E S.

Ivern: Honestly I’d probably get high with this guy. He seems like fun to get high with.

Janna: Is it me or is it windy in here?

Jarvan IV: You have a kingdom, but do you deserve it?

Jax: If i gave you a rubber chicken, would you still clobber people?

Jayce: Pretty boy needs to learn his place.

Jhin: Finally, someone with some good T A S T E 

Jinx: 👀

Kai'Sa: I’m surprised you didn’t go c r a z y in the void..how do you feel..?

Kalista: I heard you want to get a little bit of vengence...?

Karma: ...Is a bitch...Pun intended.

Karthus: Fucking love to rock out with this guy. Holy shit.

Kassadin: Needs to find an inhaler.

Katarina: Totally isn’t a Yandere waiting for Garen to ask her out.

Kayle: Should have been the one to hit the ground too hard if she fell.

Kayn: Fucking edgelord who I wish would make up his fucking mind.

Kennen: Get a load of pikachu over here..

Kha'Zix: Messy eater, wouldn’t invite over again.

Kindred: Fun to talk about death with, would chat again. Wolf’s a good boy.

Kled: Fucking mental, would drink with again.

Kog'Maw: What the fuck is this thing. I love it. 

LeBlanc: Amazing parties, amazing dances, need to hang out more..

Lee Sin: Now you see me, now you...oh hang on.

Leona: Praise the sun? Nah I get sun stroke. Give me your sister pls.

Lillia: Too innocent, shouldn’t be here, easy to mess with...actually, maybe stay..?

Lissandra: Cold. Very cold. But the best of the 3..

Lucian: I laughed when I heard Senna got caught. Thresh did a good job.

Lulu: One of my bestest sort of friends, we cause the best mischief. 

Lux: Does your father know what you can do...?

Malphite: B I G

Malzahar: Sorta kinda kreeps me out sometimes...his bugs fuck my shit up...

Maokai: I like chilling in his branches, his saprolings know how to party.

Master Yi: That’s a nice lookin sword you’ve got there...

Miss Fortune: You got two lovely guns. 

Mordekaiser: Best guitarist I’ve ever heard. need to see their next concert.

Morgana: Lovely cookies, shame everyone dies after though.

Nami: Why would you even buy boots??

Nasus: Your brother hates you, do you forgive him? 

Nautilus: Can you even feel me knocking on your head?

Neeko: I see myself all the time, you can’t fool me...

Nidalee: You need some class, a wash and some clothes...

Nocturne: DARKNESS, DARLING, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!

Nunu and Willump: Willump can you just eat him already?

Olaf: I miss the good old drinking days...heh, mom’s op...

Orianna: The intricacy of the workings inside are limitless, I must see inside...

Ornn: B I G aswell

Pantheon: You’ve got abs you can eat off, and an ass that would be eaten.

Poppy: You may be small, but damn you hurt.

Pyke: I need to talk to you more, I want to hear all about drowning as much as I can...

Qiyana: You’re just an angry person.

Quinn: I’ve been trying to kill Valor for so long I can’t count the days.

Rakan: Look in the mirror for too long and your face will stick like that.

Rammus: Ok.

Rek'Sai: *SCREECHES BACK*

Renekton: Your brother trapped you for millenia, tell me how much you hate him..

Rengar: heh, you let your guard down and the bug ate your eye..funny.

Riven: You’ll never be welcomed back, you know that, right..?

Rumble: She’ll never notice how much you love her. Give up.

Ryze: C’mon, let me look in the scroll, just a little peek?

Sejuani: God you smell as bad as the boar...

Senna: You have no idea how long it’s been to ask someone...how was it in the lanturn??

Sett: All you do is punch. Not impressed at all.

Shaco: Love this guy, can’t get enough of him!

Shen: You say balance is necessary, so isn’t what Zed doing good..?

Shyvana: No matter what you do, Demacia will always fear you~

Singed: You need to give me more of your experimental vials, I have too much fun with them..

Sion: oh hey big guy, I thought you died!

Sivir: I think you make more money than me killing people...jealous much..

Skarner: Aren’t you the last of your kind...? Samesies! how’s it feel for you~!

Sona: I wish I could hear you scream...that would be wonderful..

Soraka: Why not give Warwick what he wants...no one will miss you~

Swain: I would love to study your...ehem...other form more, it’s so intriguing ...

Sylas: You were a bad boy, yet you didn’t let people know about lux~

Syndra: Show me this limitless power you have~

Tahm Kench: Gotta say, I’m a big fan of your vocabulary...

Taliyah: Yasuo isn’t who you think he is...you should ask who Yone is...

Talon: Stabby Stabby time~

Taric: Wow. 

Teemo: I could list off 900 different ways I would exterminate that little rodent.

Thresh: Hey, I’m Shaco, big fan, huge. Biggest even.

Tristana: you’re oblivious to all the signs, you’ll end up hurting people you have no idea exist...

Trundle: HIT HIT HIT, That all you think about?

Tryndamere: See above

Twisted Fate: I’m never playing cards with you again, seriously, fuck off.

Twitch: God you stink. but you make a good foot rest.

Udyr: So calm, yet anger is deep inside you..

Urgot: No one likes you but god you’re amazing at killing people.

Varus: You fuck everything up, yet you’re still around...

Vayne: You wish to rid the world of black magic, but so much fun comes from it..

Veigar: HAH, SO, SMALL, OH MY, HE’S JUST...PFFFF.

Vel'Koz: I too wish to know what’s going on inside of people’s heads..just more emotionally.

Vi: Caitlyn will never notice you.

Viktor: hit me up when the revolution starts, I may skip town til it’s over.

Vladimir: SO MUCH GOOD WINE, OOF.

Volibear: You’re a big boi now, indeed.

Warwick: Cmon, you know you want it, go get it...soraka’s practically open...

Wukong: sometimes you even get me confused...

Xayah: oo, look at me, such an edgy bitch, only one man get’s me~

Xerath: I am so curious, how the hell did you become what you are...

Xin Zhao: sorry, who are you again?

Yasuo: You killed your brother, didn’t you. I fucking knew it!!

Yorick: Play me that bass riff again, it’s so G O O D

Yuumi: God you’re annoying. 

Zac: surprisingly enough, you’re an amazing bed.

Zed: You know what you should do..? Kill them all...heh, that’d be fun to watch..

Ziggs: I need you to make more bombs, for me...for research purposes..heh

Zilean: You are also annoying, stop knowing where I’ll be, stop. now.

Zoe: GOD, WHY ARE YOU ALL ANNOYING

Zyra: ...you provide the good kush.

Clean list below if anyone want’s to do it too!

I love reading them, tag me in them if you could! :D

Aatrox,

Ahri,

Akali,

Alistar,

Amumu,

Anivia,

Annie,

Aphelios,

Ashe,

Aurelion Sol,

Azir,

Bard,

Blitzcrank,

Brand,

Braum,

Caitlyn,

Camille,

Cassiopeia,

Cho'Gath,

Corki,

Darius,

Diana,

Dr. Mundo,

Draven,

Ekko,

Elise,

Evelynn,

Ezreal,

Fiddlesticks,

Fiora,

Fizz,

Galio,

Gangplank,

Garen,

Gnar,

Gragas,

Graves,

Hecarim,

Heimerdinger,

Illaoi,

Irelia,

Ivern,

Janna,

Jarvan IV,

Jax,

Jayce,

Jhin,

Jinx,

Kai'Sa,

Kalista,

Karma,

Karthus,

Kassadin,

Katarina,

Kayle,

Kayn,

Kennen,

Kha'Zix,

Kindred,

Kled,

Kog'Maw,

LeBlanc,

Lee Sin,

Leona,

Lillia,

Lissandra,

Lucian,

Lulu,

Lux,

Malphite,

Malzahar,

Maokai,

Master Yi,

Miss Fortune,

Mordekaiser,

Morgana,

Nami,

Nasus,

Nautilus,

Neeko,

Nidalee,

Nocturne,

Nunu and Willump,

Olaf,

Orianna,

Ornn,

Pantheon,

Poppy,

Pyke,

Qiyana,

Quinn,

Rakan,

Rammus,

Rek'Sai,

Renekton,

Rengar,

Riven,

Rumble,

Ryze,

Sejuani,

Senna,

Sett,

Shaco,

Shen,

Shyvana,

Singed,

Sion,

Sivir,

Skarner,

Sona,

Soraka,

Swain,

Sylas,

Syndra,

Tahm Kench,

Taliyah,

Talon,

Taric,

Teemo,

Thresh,

Tristana,

Trundle,

Tryndamere,

Twisted Fate,

Twitch,

Udyr,

Urgot,

Varus,

Vayne,

Veigar,

Vel'Koz,

Vi,

Viktor,

Vladimir,

Volibear,

Warwick,

Wukong,

Xayah,

Xerath,

Xin Zhao,

Yasuo,

Yorick,

Yuumi,

Zac,

Zed,

Ziggs,

Zilean,

Zoe,

Zyra,

[commander-bunbuns]

Hallowborne pt.1

Working for Hallowborne Tavern consisted largely of keeping an eye on Garlean activity, with the occasional bodyguard duty and securing trade routes. Kisumi slowly became closer with those in the inner circle. There was Maria, the White Mage miqo'te. So soft, and sweet, and passionate to help those in need. Her energy and optimism made her fast friends with Kisumi and even prompted an evening of fireworks together. There was Zyn, the au'ri Ninja. He claimed to be old, but his dexterity never showed it. He loved women and drink and though he was indeed a scoundrel, Kisumi could see him for his talents and even took to him as a mentor of sorts. Lady Althaea Hallowborne was their rock– the cornerstone of the entire operation. She was a very busy au'ri woman, always caught up in some book on finances and trades and outsourcing. She hardly ever left the Tavern, though another part was likely because of the lalafell… Veigar was the strangest of them all– so much so that Kisumi did her best to simply smile and nod and keep her distance from him. He was as childlike as his body, but incredibly ruthless. His attitude would flip faster than a pirate’s, were it not for Althaea’s guidance. Whenever he spoke of leaving the house, the room grew heavy and dark. Zyn would ruffle his hair and tell him to keep his chin up before escaping like Veigar wished to do. ____________________

It was time for her first real mission. Recon was a simple chore they were all expected to carry out, but there was definitely more that clawed beneath the surface. Kisumi’s target was a human trafficker called Elliot and reports called for attention in Outer La Noscea. Zyn was the one that appointed her for the job, and Kisumi was eager to prove herself to the assassin she thought of so highly. She made for The Long Climb and found a secluded hot spring overlooking a cliff face… neighbored by a small shack. “Elliot could be in there,” she thought, “But it would be foolish to go guns blazing and find a simple vacationer. This place is still very close to the Storm’s camp, after all.” Ever cautious, Kisumi disguised herself to look in league with the dark character she hunted and invited herself inside. The man she found inside was not pleased by the intruder. He screamed at her with the slurred speech of a sailor native to this province. “You’re not Elliot.” She growled. Actually, Kisumi had no idea what her target looked like. All she had was a name and an activity to look out for. She rationalized that she could easily determine this person’s character by his answer: If he corrected her, she would have a lead on her target. If he pleaded ignorance, then perhaps she was wrong. The miqo'te had the unfortunate circumstance with the latter and walked out silently, despite the cursing behind her. Once she felt she was no longer being followed, Kisumi camped out the only path to the hovel in hopes that her trip would not be in vain.

____________________

Hours past and dusk nearly turned to night. Kisumi cursed Zyn under her breath for sending her on a wild goose chase. “Hes probably fuck deep in booze and women while I’m out here waiting for nothing.” She was beginning to leave when she heard footsteps approaching; two shady-looking Roegadyns, a fully-armored human, and two females shackled in tow. This had to be what she had been waiting for! She made to take out the large ones first, blessing her weapon of choice for being so silent. The first arrow disabled one of the Roeg’s legs, which set the other running at the signal of the human. The second arrow was meant to halt the use of the guard’s weapon arm at the base, but it ripped apart his neck instead. Kisumi didn’t mean to be so brutal yet there they were. The human sighed at the inconvenience, but showed no remorse. He grabbed his own axe and lunged at Kisumi, slamming against the rock wall as she dropped to the ground, and quickly wound up for another attack. All she could do in the position she was in was roll out of the way of the swipe which cleanly shaved off a piece of skin from her shoulder. Regaining her footing, Kisumi thought to bind her target in the encroaching shadows and make space. She only barely had the time, repelling herself as her trap was easily shaken off. It appeared that the captured ladies got away. Kisumi caught a glimpse of Maria running back. “She must have seen them to safety.”. It wasn’t just Maria; another skipped behind her– Veigar. “They let him out..!” The White Mage patched her up just enough to stop the bleeding, and now the odds were in her favor. “Sumi found him! She did! I finally get to make someone go boom!” The lalafell’s crazed comment was offputting, but at least it was on Kisumi’s side. Elliot began to flee, matching a blast Veigar sent his way as he turned a corner toward the hovel.

____________________

When they arrived, an armored man was standing at the edge of the dock. Kisumi felt much more confident after being healed and with more manpower. The three, so doe-eyed and eager, began closing in for Elliot’s apprehension. “Elliot! You’re being detained under suspicion of human trafficking. Either surrender yourself to me or to the fall!” Kisumi filled with pride. Her first mission was about to be an incredible success! With a leap, the man came down upon the three. A burst of dark energy ignited around him, catching the group unaware. Kisumi only had a split second to shoot herself away while Maria and Veigar were bound in the void-like substance. Fear creeped into her skin as she watched them take a heavy blow with a greatsword. “The man from before..!” Elliot had slipped away in the brief moment Kisumi lost sight of him and was replaced by the man from the hovel. With her comrades down for the count, she raced to save them– desperately unloading onto him every attack she could. He was overwhelmingly powerful; brushing off her attacks, throwing her arrows back at her, and landing a decisive blow that threw her into the water. Her clothes became heavy as they soaked, making it difficult to move freely. She was exhausted from giving it her all to no avail. “This isn’t what I wanted… Maria… Veigar… Zyn..!” The man approached with this sword vertical– thirsting to skewer her. His blow stabbed close between her arm as his head was split savagely down the middle. He didn’t bleed. A dark smoke oozed out of his exposed scalp. He looked surprised, as did Kisumi when she saw who was behind the axe…. Maria.

____________________

The man cried out as his body disipated. The “White Mage” sneered down at Kisumi, “Fakin’ that accent was a real pain in th’ arse.“ She stretched her neck, preparing her next move. “Sorry, love, but if anyone’s ‘aving yer ‘ead, it’ll be me.” She stepped closer. “Bounties don’t collect themselves, ye know.”

What? What is she saying? This is Maria. Our sweet, soft mage…

Even if Kisumi’s legs weren’t disabled by shock, she had spent all of her energy already. So she sat frozen as Maria came to claim her “prize”. The “mage” had a flare in her eye as if she relished in the resignation. She wound up her axe, and Kisumi closed her eyes. There was a sound of metal, and Kisumi reluctantly peeked in curiosity as to what stalled her demise.

“Lass..! You’d better move yer arse and get home. Now!”

Zyn! What is he doing here?!

The au'ra struggled to keep Maria still, which was more surprising still than his presence. Kisumi had little time to act, and even less to think. Her instincts told her to run, but she couldn’t just leave Vei behind. She ran to him and channeled their aether for a quick escape.