#waddles off dancing

[spottedmischief]

in this house we love and respect a teen who will proudly admit that he is the trash king and so is his kingdom

[seung-mong]

everyone adores you (i hate that i do too) - kim seungmin

includes: seungmin x reader, friends to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers?? (kinda academic rivals vibe) college au, soft dom! seungie, everyone knows they r in love except them, kinda slow burn? idk, fluff, angst, quick vanilla smut scene at the end, unprotected sex, possessive seungmin, creampie oopsie woopsie, felix is lowk seungmin's downfall lmao

a/n: the people have chosen, thank u for those who voted on the poll!! i know this is so ridiculously late but ive been in a writer's funk lately and ive just been so unmotivated #rant anyway i hope you guys like this one:') chan x hybrid felix x reader up next?? :00

wc: 12k YAPPING ofc my longest fic is of my husband #seungminlover #myMan

"there's nothing i can do for you, mr. kim. you failed to submit the third reflection essay. i have been considerate with your other late submissions..." the middle aged professor sighs, bringing a hand to his forehead and massaging his temples in frustration.

seungmin's hands wrap tighter around the strap of his bag, nylon almost burning against his palm due to the friction. "mr. park," he almost whines, leaning forward in his chair.

seungmin's desperate. he needs to pass this class, a prerequisite to all of his majors. he'll be damned if he takes his classes later than everyone else. "please, there must be something i can do. anything for extra credit. i really really need to pass this class." his voice slightly breaks, so close to tears. he can feel the red hot embarrassment that washes over him at the thought of having to explain why he cant enlist in the same classes as his friends.

he's never gonna hear the end of it when he tells his parents, always hard on his ass about biting off more than he can chew and he's always shrugged them off. how is everything so different now? in highschool he was juggling acads, being president of the student council, being in choir, dance, band, and the debate team. and now? four classes and a stupid glee club and hes falling behind.

his worst fear.

the older man swallows thickly, obviously uncomfortable at his student's sudden show of vulnerability. "mr. kim, i really want to help you. but im afraid there's no extra work i can give you to help you raise your grade.

seungmin shakes his head, slumping deep in his seat.

"normally i'd offer that you could check some papers and-"

"i'll do it!" seungmin yells, almost jumping out of his seat.

"but another student has already offered to be my teaching assistant for this term for extra credit as well.... unless you could convince them to split the workload... id consider raising your grade."

"sir, anything! who do i have to convince?" seungmin lets out a sigh of relief. and he thought all hope was lost.

"miss y/l/n. do you know her?"

fuck. all hope is lost.

you huff as you push open the heavy metal doors to your apartment building, canvas bag filled to the brim with papers you're supposed to check. the weight is heavy on your shoulder, strap digging uncomfortably into your skin. the sting lingers as you waddle over to your apartment locker, dropping the bag as you dig into your coat pocket for your keys.

"oh, y/n! im glad i caught you." you turn around to see a kind face smiling at you from the foot of the stairs, long blonde hair tied somewhat neatly to keep strands away from his neck. stubborn clumps of hair fall over his forehead, sticking to the skin in a thin sheen of sweat.

"hyunjin?" you squeal, leaving all your bags right there on the floor as you run towards your childhood friend. your arms wrap around his neck as he laughs, arms coming up to wrap around your waist. you nearly knock him off his feet from the force that you throw yourself at him, but he cant blame you. it has been way too long.

"but... what are you doing here? i thought you were still in paris?" you chuckle, breathless as you pull apart from him.

"non!," he teases, but his smile quickly shifts. "due to some, ah- unfortunate circumstances, i had to return home a little earlier than i had planned," he shrugs, grabbing your arm and hooking it with his.

"oh cut the bullshit, hwang." you laugh, pulling him towards your locker. "tell me what happened," you groan, bending down to pick up your bag. hyunjin, ever the gentleman, quickly reacts from beside you, taking it away from you before slinging it over his own shoulder. "tell me what really happened, hm? it's me." you huff, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

he smiles sadly at you, shaking his head. he knows he cant lie to you. "how about we catch up over a cup of coffee, huh? my, ive been looking all over campus for you and when we finally meet after three years you dont even invite me in?" he pouts at you.

you roll your eyes at his dramatics. nice to know he hasnt changed that about himself. dare you say paris has only fed his dramatic flare? "let's go have some coffee somewhere else then, my apartment's kinda messy right now. oh! have you told felix you're back? you guys are... okay now, right?" you're careful to watch his expression at the mention of his past lover.

"no, he doesnt know im home. it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the surprise, you know?" he retorts, watching you with a fond smile as you shove your phone and keys back into your pockets. "and yes. felix and i are alright, thank you for asking."

"well, i'm sure he'd love to see you again. i know where he's working. maybe we could drop by for some drinks?"

hyunjin hums thoughtfully at that, chuckling a bit once you push open the damned metal door. "i guess it wouldnt hurt to say hello? besides. we have been... talking again."

"oh is that so?" you feign disinterest, eyes trained on the leaves that crunch under your feet.

he hums once more, squinting when he looks up, the sun beaming against his face. how he's missed its' warmth. paris was often gloomy. "we discussed possibly trying again." he says calmly, sighing with content.

you falter, "that might be good. ive always known you guys still loved each other! besides, you guys were young and stupid."

"that we were." hyunjin laughs. "well how about you and... ah- he who must not be named?"

you tense a little at that, opting to play it off with a shrug. "havent seen him around much, actually."

"well that's odd. you three were the only ones from our highschool to pass SNU and you guys dont keep in touch?"

"well i dont keep in touch with people from highschool much." you bite back.

"well how about me and felix?" he challenges.

"yea. just you two."

"arent you two in the same major?"

"we have different schedules. never aligns."

"but yuna and lia said-"

"i just dont see seungmin much, alright? that's that!" you groan, shoving your hands into your pockets.

"oh my dear y/n, nothing has changed! have you tried to patch things up with him? after all we were, hm what did you say, ah- young and stupid?"

"well he certainly was." you mumble, and hyunjin bursts out laughing. he throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer against his side. "god, i've missed you."

felix absolutely adores his job. he gets to help bake in the kitchens in the morning, and then he gets to make such fun little drinks while listening to music he chooses. he loves his coworkers, and his schedule is flexible, what with the manager knowing how most of his staff are all college students. the one thing he hates though? dealing with rude customers.

"i apologize, sir. our drinks are served in plastic cups as most of our customers dont finish their drink here, it's easier to take out in case you need to leave in a hurry." felix can feel the sweat start to form at his hairline, trickling slowly down his forehead as his cheeks twitch in a forced smile.

"well if i knew you served it in plastic cups, i never would have ordered!" the middle-aged man in front of him yells, eyebrows raised. students in the cafe have started to look over, trying hard to be discreet. some look annoyed, others clearly show how they feel sorry for felix.

felix tries his best to keep his smile, but he can feel anger and annoyance rise in him like hot water boiling deep in his gut.

"what the fuck is the difference??" he wants to scream, grab the stupid plastic cup from his stupid chubby fingers and throw it right in his stupid ugly face.

"im sorry sir, is there some kind of problem here?" a calm voice calls from behind the man, who turns around in surprise.

seungmin stands with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips. he's dressed in nothing fancy, a university hoodie and some sweatpants. he's only supposed to catch up with felix as he busies himself around the cafe after all. his hair is tucked neatly in his cap, the perfect image of your average college student.

felix swears he's an angel sent from the heavens.

"this is none of your business, kid." the man snorts disgustingly, waving a chubby finger in seungmin's face.

"well, actually this is a public space and you're holding up the line. so yea, it kinda is my business. besides, you're on university grounds, i have every right to be here as a student." seungmin says coolly, taking a step towards the counter so he's able to somewhat position himself in between felix and this gross ugly man.

"listen, i'm a paying customer, so-"

"and the staff has the right to refuse service to anyone unless on the basis of race, religion, or ethnicity- isn't that right, felix?"

and its like suddenly felix has found his voice. he stands a little taller, leaning forward to get closer to the man's face. "that's right."

"and you're not refusing to serve this man because hes white or anything, right?" seungmin eggs him on, throwing the man a somewhat bored look.

"no. its because hes an asshole."

"hey-" the man steps forward, hands raised.

"well you heard him!" seungmin cuts the man off before he can continue, fully stepping in front of felix now. "if you dont leave within the next ten seconds, i'm calling security. they take peace and order on school grounds very seriously, you know?"

the man huffs, turning around and slamming the door behind him so hard that the little bell that jingles near the doorframe rattles wildly seconds after he's left.

"i dont know how you deal with assholes like that, felix. id probably lose my mind." seungmin sighs, throwing his friend a tight lipped smile.

"you kinda get used to it. but i've just been so tired this finals week that i dont even have the energy to stand up for myself anymore." felix shakes his head while he wipes the counter down.

seungmin nods understandingly, lunging for the man's untouched drink before felix can throw it. "this is paid, isn't it?"

"well, yes but-"

"alright, felix look. i have a problem." seungmin slides easily into one of the stools by the counter, taking a deep sip of the man's mystery drink.

felix nods in understanding, rearranging trays and cleaning up as much as he can.

"well actually, it's more of a favor? i dont know."

felix only hums, used to seungmin's rambling by now. seungmin's just like that, needs to talk to himself aloud a little before getting straight to the point.

"im actually screwed and there's no one else i can talk to because well, there's no more shame between us, yea? we've seen each other naked and ive seen you at your lowest low and youve been there for me and-"

"wow, this is pretty serious, huh?" felix jokes, pulling up a stool so he can sit in front of his friend.

"i think i'm gonna fail a class." seungmin spits out, holding his breath immediately after as he gauges his friend's reaction.

felix's smile slowly disappears. his mouth opens and closes like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say, in a state of total shock. this goes on for about five minutes before seungmin finally whines, head dropping to his hands.

"will you say something i can actually understand, felix?"

"i'm sorry i just- i dont understand. you're.... failing? you? kim seungmin? the kim seungmin?"

"wow you really know how to comfort a guy, huh?"

"i'm sorry!" felix jumps up to pull seungmin in for a half-hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around seungmin's chest over the counter. "i just... how? why? what subject? are you sure?"

"yes, im sure. i missed a stupid submission. a major subject. look, thats not the worst part-"

"omigod you're dying. thats the only explanation-"

"no!" seungmin whines, pushing his friend off him. "the professor said he could give me extra credit-"

"but thats good news!"

"-if im able to convince... someone.... to split the task given to them with me."

"o...kay? just turn on your puppydog charm and you're good to go."

seungmin shakes his head, as if he's about to deliver such solemn news to felix that he has to pause for dramatic effect. felix rolls his eyes.

"it's... well the person is y/n."

felix stares at his friend with wide eyes, unblinking. then he tilts his head back and lets out the most obnoxious laugh, losing his breath as his neck turns a deep shade of red, the tint spreading across his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

"you're joking! oh this is just too- oh, i cant breathe, ITS KARMA!" he suddenly yells, fighting for his life to breathe in as much air as possible, wiping the tears from his eyes.

seungmin winces, but deep down he knows this reaction is deserved.

his relationship with you is... a little complicated.

you met seungmin in your freshman year of highschool. you'd just moved to seoul, the New Girl. as batch rep, he was tasked with showing you around on your first day, teaching you the ropes and making you feel welcomed.

"well yea, thats basically it!" seungmin finishes, pace slowing down as he directs you to the bench just opposite the school clinic. "do you have any questions for me?" he asks with a slight tilt of his head.

your eyes stay trained on the floor, as they have been the past 30 minutes that this strange boy has toured you around the school. you shake your head. seungmin doesnt fully understand it yet, but somewhere deep down, he feels bad for you. you seem like the shy type, and he knows how hard it is to adjust and make new friends. god knows how he would have survived middle school if it weren't for his friends.

"hey, what do you say you come meet my friends tomorrow during lunch break?" he suddenly asks. for the first time since his homeroom teacher introduced you, you look up at him.

he's taken aback by how pretty your eyes are.

"oh, really?" you ask timidly, voice small.

"i- i mean yea! we're in the same homeroom anyway, right? plus i think it'll help you adjust a little better if you had people you could talk to and hang out with." seungmin shrugs.

"yea. i'd really like that. thank you, seungmin." your voice is so low its almost like you're mumbling.

before you know it, you're spending your lunch breaks laughing along with felix as he embarrasses all of seungmin's friends one by one, wincing away from changbin as he threatens to lunge across the table to shut the younger boy up, hyunjin clinging dramatically onto his boyfriend's side instead of defending him.

you're spending your weekends at seungmin's house as chan makes you all listen to his new demo, han turning red in the face when his verse comes on. you're walking to school with jeongin- arms full of convenience store goodies as you make fun of your grumpy old maths teacher, leeknow following quietly behind you both, scolding you when you get too close to the road.

before you know it, you've found yourself a group of friends who makes highschool just that much bearable.

seungmin's completely enamored by you, coming to learn that you're at the top of every class that you have (except the ones you have with him, of course). you're just as ambitious as he is, joining the debate team and the mock un club, quickly joining the officers despite being a new student.

he's somewhat threatened by you, though he'd never admit it to himself, or to anyone else for that matter. you score higher than him in statistics, and he cant help the ugly feeling that settles in his chest when you show your paper to him, a bright blue 100 circled at the top.

he tries not to let it get to him, changing his mindset into seeing it as a healthy competition, a way for him to challenge himself even more in to doing better than you. it feeds his competitive side, staying longer than you in the library, sleeping later than you, reading more books.

this one sided competition makes him feel conflicted. he's out for your blood, and yet you're the same sweet, shy girl he's always been close to. you spend most of your time with seungmin, studying with him at his house, sleeping over when you've realized its way past ten in the evening, sneaking out of his house for a quick convenience store run.

"min, i'm hungry! lets go down to the store." you'd whine, voice slightly muffled against his soft sheets, tucked nice and warm under his blankets.

"go home, you've finished all the food here." he'd tease, not even bothering to look away from his homework.

"cant. you'd miss me after an hour." you'd retort, reaching blindly behind you for a plushie to throw at the back of his head.

"suppose that's true. can't help but be used to your presence when you're here nearly every day," he'd feign annoyance, exhaling loudly through his nose.

you'd pout at him when he'd finally turn in his chair to look over at you, already so at home, snuggling even deeper into his bed.

you really do have such pretty eyes.

"fine. grab your coat." and he'd try hard to fight his smile at the sound of your delighted squeals.

you found a way to break through his walls, chip away at the cement and reduce it to a fine dust which you've blown away. but he stands unguarded all the same, not even bothering to put up a fight when you wrestle your way into his heart.

he'd like to keep you there, he thinks.

sometimes he'd lie to himself and say that he tried. by your senior year, he managed to ruin the one good thing in his life.

how stupid was he?

amazing, really. how he was able to throw away three years of friendship for fifteen minutes of fame.

"how could you do this to me?" you hiss, dropping your backpack onto the floor of seungmin's bedroom. his back is faced towards you, gently shutting his door before he leans his forehead on it. he takes a deep breath, gathering enough courage to face you.

"y/n, i-"

"you embarrassed me in front of everyone. you told them everything, things i told you in confidence because i fucking trusted you. how could you do this to me, seungmin? how could you fucking do this to me?" your tears are hot, angry against your cheeks as you pace around his room. your voice grows louder with every word, reaching a scream when you stand in front of him.

"i wasn't thinking, y/n. i-"

"and for what? to make me look bad?" you laugh hollowly, hands flying to your hair in disbelief. "to make me look like some poor, fucking loser who's so mentally unstable she can't possibly become president of student council? was that your angle?"

there's a lump in seungmin's throat and no matter how hard he swallows, it just wont go down. he opens his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but his mouth has gone dry and his tongue tastes like sand.

"what the fuck is wrong with you? i thought we were friends? i thought we were best friends, seungmin? how could you air out all my shit like that? for a couple of votes? do you know how pathetic you are? is that how bad you want to be president? you're willing to throw me under the bus to make yourself look good?" you can taste the salty tears pooling in your mouth, snot slowly dripping down and creating a sticky mess on your face.

but you're too angry to care.

your chest hurts, like someone's kicked you to the ground and continuously stomped right in between your ribcage in an attempt to squash your heart. your head hurts from dehydration, and your neck is starting to feel sticky from the sweat that's pooled at the collar of your uniform.

"was this your master plan? you found out i was running against you so you sucked up to me, kept me close so you could get all the dirt? you fucking traitor, i cant believe i actually trusted you." your throat has gone raw from all the yelling, can feel the way your voice starts to come out hoarse.

"y/n, please. i'm so sorry i dont know what i was thinking. i just... when they asked me why they should vote for me my mind blanked and i-" he tries to get everything out as fast as he can, terrified you'll cut him off and start yelling again. but he can't continue because, holy shit, even he doesn't know why the fuck he did what he did.

"and you what? made me look fucking stupid so you rambled on for fifteen minutes about how much of a horrible person i am. god, if thats what you thought of me you shouldve let me know, seungmin! i couldve walked out of your life if i made you that miserable." you're starting to heave, all the air in the room suddenly disappearing.

"no, dont say that y/n. you're the best thing about me, you're my best fr-"

seungmin feels dizzy when your palm lands on his right cheek.

you cant stop sobbing, hands clutching at your chest as you shake your head. "fuck you," you whisper.

seungmin is stunned, frozen in the middle of his room with his mouth slightly open. he says nothing, does nothing as he watches you bend down weakly to grab your bag, sobbing through the motions of slinging it over your shoulders.

but then the panic starts to kick in when you push past him, your fingers reaching for his doorknob. his instincts kick in and hes wrapping his hand around your wrist.

"please don't go, please let's talk about this." his voice cracks. when did he start crying?"

you pause, and for a moment seungmin can feel the weight on his shoulder lift, all hope is not lost.

"its good to know where your priorities lie, seungmin. now i know you'll do anything to get ahead. even if that means hurting me." you tried to sound strong, but your voice comes out broken, a whimper.

"dont speak to me ever again."

you pull your hand away from him.

the weight on his shoulders is suddenly crushing.

and when he gave his acceptance speech in front of the entire student body, he frantically searched for your face. his heart dropped when his eyes locked with yours. eyes that once looked at him with so much warmth, care, and love- stared soullessly back at him.

he knew he fucked up the best thing in his life.

by the time you reach felix's cafe, hyunjin's whining had started to get on your nerves.

"i didn't ask you to carry it," you remind him, reaching for the strap.

he turns his body away from you, clutching your tote tighter against his side. "as if i'd let you carry this!"

yes, he was a gentleman. but a dramatic ass one.

"id honestly rather carry my bag than have to listen to you whine about how heavy it is."

"but it is so heavy! what the fuck did you put in here, rocks?"

you only roll your eyes, pushing open the glass door to the establishment. the tiny bell above the doorframe rings, announcing your arrival to the blonde boy behind the counter.

"oh my god, its soobin." you whisper under your breath, elbowing hyunjin in the ribs. he only looks at you puzzled, an eyebrow raised.

"he's so cute, ohmygod." you roll your eyes, quickly checking your blurry reflection on the glass door.

"not my type," hyunjin shrugs. you ignore him, walking straight to the counter.

"oh, hey soob!" you greet him, quickly shushing hyunjin when he starts to mock your airy tone. "is felix here?" you smile sweetly, trying to tame your hair from the mess caused by the strong winds outside.

"oh yea, he's over there in the booth by the window. he's not alone though," he says, wiping down the counter after spilling a few shaves of ice.

"oh, who's he with?" you ask, already making your way down the counter.

"dunno, the dude looks kinda stressed, to be honest." he shrugs, turning away from you when the bell lets him know he's got another customer to serve.

he's with a guy? he's not on a date is he? no- he wouldve told you. besides, he wouldnt have led hyunjin on either.

hyunjin follows behind you as you make your way towards the booth, heaving dramatically as he swings your tote bag off his shoulders. he crouches behind you, snickering to himself as you both slowly walk to the table, strands of felix's hair peeking out from the opposite bench.

"surprise!" hyunjin jumps from behind you, smile swiftly morphing into a face of shock, his mouth forming a small 'o'.

"holy shit, hyune! what are you doing here?"

your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. that voice-

"s-seungmin, i didnt know you were with felix."

you freeze, jaw dropped as seungmin stands. he clearly hasn't seen you yet, back facing you as he pulls hyunjin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly.

"i thought you were in paris?" felix squeals, sliding out of the booth and joining the three for a big bear hug. he's the one who finally notices you a few feet away, his smile dropping.

"y/n." he breathes, eyes wide.

when seungmin turns around, its almost as if in its slow motion.

he looks almost exactly the same, his hair a little longer, shaggier. his eyes look more tired, little bags under his eyes give away the sleepless nights he's become familiar with. his cheeks slowly turn a light pink, dusting across his nose all the way to the tip of his ears. he's dressed the way you remember him, loose comfy clothes.

he looks good, you think. you shake the thought away.

"oh, y/n." seungmin's voice is small as he locks eyes with you.

fuck, your eyes.

his first time seeing you in three years and he hates how you manage to steal his breath away. you've changed your hair, cut it a little shorter and dyed it lighter. you've pierced your ears, little sunflower earrings peaking from beneath your hair. you look so much more mature, your style has definitely changed.

but your eyes, they shine just as bright as he remembers. good to know his memory hasnt failed him yet.

"i didn't know you were coming, y/n." felix shoots you an apologetic glance, lips pursed and eyes wide.

"but i always come visit you on thursdays." you say flatly.

"yea but-"

"awh look! it's been a while since we've all seen each other, huh?" hyunjin cuts in, trying desperately to ease the tension. seungmin stays standing still, gawking stupidly at you. you try your best to pretend like you cant feel his gaze.

"yea, some of us made that decision on purpose." you mutter under your breath, but you don't miss the way seungmin's eye twitch.

felix smiles, lacing his hand with hyunjin's. "it's really been too long," he whispers, as if only meant for his lover.

"i'd really love if we could all spend some time together." hyunjin's eyes find yours, wide and pleading. "please?"

you offer him a tight lipped smile.

its already so awkward, the way felix and hyunjin slide naturally into the booth, beginning to chatter away. it leaves you and seungmin standing, stubbornly avoiding eye contact.

"do you- do you want to sit near the window, or?" seungmin's voice is small, eyes glued to the floor.

you shrug.

he nods, climbing in anyway. you take a deep breath before you move, reluctantly climbing onto the booth after him. you leave a considerable amount of space between the two of you, and seungmin can't help but roll his eyes.

it's been nearly three years, he thinks. how are you still holding a grudge against him? he clears his throat, about to start some small talk, but something stops him. maybe its the way you deliberately angle your body away from him, or the way you pull your phone out to scroll aimlessly, almost as if you were anticipating his move.

"so, how was paris?" seungmin asks hyunjin instead, shifting his body away from you. fine, be like that. at least hes not immature enough to make things awkward on purpose.

"oh, it was so romantic!" hyunjin exclaims, throwing his arm over felix's shoulder and resting it on the back of their booth. "it was a little depressing, actually. being in such a beautiful place all alone."

"well yea, but it was worth it right? who wouldve thought your one true love was right here all along." you tease, wiggling your eyebrows up and down.

"yea so is yours!" hyunjin teases you back. you only stick your tongue out.

beside you, seungmin tenses. surely, hyunjin isnt implying that he could be your true love, could he? the thought makes chest ache, an odd yearning to move closer to you, to let his fingers "accidentally" brush against yours-

"oh, soobin!" felix giggles, catching on.

seungmin's always hated that guy. from the moment he met soobin thirty minutes ago, he knew something was off. you can't date soobin, he wouldnt know how to take care of you. with his stupid blonde hair, his stupid bunny smile, his stupidly large eyes.

he bets soobin doesnt even know what your favorite type of ramen is, what your go-to snacks are, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. important things that a lover should know.

things he knows.

oh, where'd that thought come from?

"shut up, you guys!" you hiss, checking to see if soobin is within earshot. you frown at felix, swatting across the table at his chest.

"what do you mean? you guys would look so cute together." hyunjin argues, quickly turning to catch a glimpse of soobin. you hide your face in your hands, profusely shaking your head as you sink deeper into the booth.

seungmin cant help the feeling of jealousy that bubbles deep in his gut. hes half scared hes going to projectile vomit all over the table when you straighten yourself out, sneaking a peek at the blonde boy who busies himself with creating a customer's drink.

"im probably not his type." you mumble.

"you're not." seungmin's shocked at the word that's slipped, hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth in shock.

all eyes are on him, and he can see the way you look at him, with your empty eyes staring right at his face. he hates it when you look at him like that, misses the way your eyes used to shine just for him.

"actually you know what, im getting kinda tired, i think im gonna go home instead." you blurt out, already reaching for your bag.

hyunjin's hand finds yours on the table, and he squeezes gently. "really?"

you swiftly pull your hand away. "yes. really."

"you know what, it doesnt matter. i actually made a reservation for us lixie. wasn't planning on staying long anyways. just wanted to surprise you." hyunjin sings sweetly, brushing away a stand of hair that had fallen on felix's cheek.

"yea, i think i'm gonna head home too." seungmin clears his throat.

just then, the sound of thunder roars outside, clouds a dark grey as they hang low.

fuck. just when you decided not to bring an umbrella.

"yea, i think we better get going. dont wanna get caught in the rain." felix sighs, gathering his stuff and offering hyunjin his hand.

"dont you have spare umbrellas here, lix? maybe we could borrow them. you know, just in case." as if on cue, the rain starts to come down heavily, droplets splattering against the window.

"yea, but there's only two." felix mutters, quickly slipping behind the counter to grab two black umbrellas leaning against the wall. "hyunjin and i can share, and maybe you and y/n-"

"i'm fine." you say stubbornly, arms crossed in front of your chest.

you'd rather die than spend two seconds alone with kim seungmin.

"oh dont say that, you'll get drenched and catch a cold." hyunjin sighs, grabbing one of the umbrellas from felix's hand and offering it to you.

"i'd actually prefer that, thanks." you snap, swatting his hand away.

hyunjin opens his mouth to berate you, but seungmin quickly steps in, reaching for the umbrella. "i'll handle this guys, you go enjoy your dinner."

you fume at that. 'oh he'll handle it? who the fuck does this guy think he is?'

you roll your eyes, pushing past your friends and heading for the door. you stand under the roof, crossing your arms in front of your chest as a cold chill blows past you. hyunjin and felix soon exit as well, wrapped tightly in their coats, hands entwined.

hyunjin steps towards you, pulling you in for a hug despite your protests. "be nice," he whispers, before planting a kiss on your cheek. you make a move to wipe it away, but hesitate when you see hyunjin pout.

"have a nice date." you mumble, watching as the pair huddles close under the umbrella, making their way to felix's car.

you hear the door open, and you hold your breath.

"let me walk you home." seungmin offers, his tone stern. this only ticks you off, wanting nothing more than to defy him despite his offer being in your best interest. your apartment is a good walk away, and the papers in your tote bag risk the chance of getting wet.

"i mean you- you live near my building, right?" he pleads, clicking his umbrella open. he waits patiently for you to respond, standing awkwardly by the sidewalk as you fight with your pride.

you nod, and thats all seungmin needs. he's by your side in an instant, holding the umbrella nearer to your side to ensure that not even an inch of you gets wet from the rain. his left side is already completely soaked, cringing at the feel of his cold hoodie sticking to his skin, but he ignores it. you set a fast pace, and his heart hurts at the though that it's probably because you can't stand to spend more time with him than you need to.

he notices you wince from the weight of your bag, taking a deep breath as you readjust the strap from falling off your shoulder.

"let me carry it," he's being bold, already reaching for the damn thing before you can say anything.

"i dont need any more favors." you snap, the first words you've directly said to him in nearly three years. he's glad you've at least acknowledged his existence now, but your words are sharp.

he lets it go, humming to let you know that he heard you. your pace quickens just a bit, eager to get home, out of the rain, and away from seungmin. your tote swings from the movement, getting caught on a nearby bush and very nearly pulling you back.

you lose your balance and slip, falling flat on your butt on the wet pavement. you try to brake your fall, scratching your palms in the process.

"oh my god, are you okay?" seungmin rushes down, still holding the umbrella over your head. he offers his hand to help you up, but you swat it away.

"i'm fine, alright? god, stop hovering!" you yell, pushing down on your scratched palms to help yourself up. you wince at the pain, brushing off tiny pebbles and bits of gravel from your open wound.

"y/n, you're bleeding." seungmin gawks, hand reaching out to touch yours. you quickly yank it out of his reach, almost as if you were hiding your palm from him.

"yea, thanks for the info." you mumble, trying your best to wipe away the mud that's splattered all over your jeans. seungmin moves quickly while you're preoccupied, crouching down to grab at your tote bag. he ignores your whines of protest, slinging it over his shoulder.

you let out a groan when he refuses to hand it back to you. "fine, whatever. suffer." you grumble, crossing your arms before walking away. seungmin quickly catches up to you, shielding you from the rain.

the walk home is painfully quiet. you're hyperaware of every movement he makes, every time he inhales, the way he clears his throat, as if he's about to say something before he changes his mind. all these emotions swirl angirly inside of you, most of them you cant even begin to comprehend.

because for some reason, you miss him. and it hits you like a truck when the sleeve of his hoodie grazes your elbow, the soft cloth reaching for you. it takes everything in you not to break down and grab for him, to hold him close and strangle him, to wrap your arms around him and hug him so tight he loses breath and dies of suffocation.

he smells the same, like the seungmin you remember who used to walk you home after band practice. the seungmin who held your hand in secret as you walked through the haunted house that one halloween. the seungmin who'd sing to you, alone in his room with his guitar on his lap.

your seungmin.

how could this stranger beside you be your seungmin?

how is it possible that the very same person who knows your deepest darkest secrets, your most embarrassing moments, your dreams and fears- is someone who doesn't know you at all?

seungmin stands stiff beside you as you reach the lobby of your apartment, shaking the little droplets of rain off the umbrella. he opens the door for you, urging you to enter before him.

"i'll have my bag back now, thanks." you say in monotone, eyes not even meeting his.

"let me carry it up." a bold request.

"i'm fine now, you know? im not some damsel in distress in need of saving." you mumble, standing your ground.

seungmin ignores you, already walking towards the elevator. he leaves it on hold, waiting a few seconds before you enter as well, grumbling under your breath.

once you reach your floor, you lead the way to your room, with seungmin trailing slowly behind you. he's shivering a little from the cold, the wet of his jacket only making the draft on the floor feel like ice against his skin. you notice, the little devil on your shoulder pleased at his suffering.

but there's another side of you that softens when you notice the way his teeth chatter, a shudder going down his whole body. god, you're gonna regret even opening your mouth-

"you can come in to warm up a little." you mumble, reaching into your coat pocket to fetch your keys.

seungmin merely blinks at you, unsure if he heard you correctly, or if his imagination was so strong that he managed to picture you saying the thing he so desperately wanted to hear.

but then you walk in, and you leave your door open. for him.

"oh, thanks." seungmin mutters awkwardly, reaching for the cup of tea you offer him. the warmth spreads from his fingertips to his palms, and he's genuinely grateful for the heat it provides. you only hum, grabbing your tote bag from the floor and setting it on the couch.

you pour yourself a cup, sitting directly opposite of the strange boy in your apartment. you blow away some of the steam that rises from the cup, eyes trained on the way the liquid ripples from the force of your breath.

seungmin opens his mouth to speak, but he cant seem to find the words to say what he wants to say. i'm sorry? no thats too lame. i miss you? fuck no, way too forward. how about-

"you're shivering." you point out, staring directly into seungmin's eyes.

his breath hitches. you're looking at him.

actually looking at him.

"oh, i- i didn't even notice." he lies. despite the fact that you turned your heater on, he's fucking freezing. his hoodie is heavy with rain and damp against his skin, sending shivers all the way up his arm and down his spine.

suddenly you stand, retreating into your room without a word. seungmin's confused, unsure if that's his cue that he's overstayed his welcome. but then you come back into the kitchen after a few seconds, holding a large blue hoodie in your arms.

his heart clenches when you unfurl it, revealing the old hoodie he'd given you a month before your graduation. he didnt even know you got it in the mail when he sent it. you werent even talking to him at that point. does that mean you'd gotten his letter too?

"well, i didnt wanna get rid of it, you know? would be a waste." you mumble. you toss it over to him, the cloth landing on his lap with a soft thud. he looks stupidly down at it, brain malfunctioning.

"you should change out of your sweater. you're wet. dripping all over my floor." you grumble, snatching seungmin's empty cup and setting it down on the counter behind him.

"you kept it?" seungmin whispers.

"like i said. didnt want it-"

"you kept it." seungmin turns to look at you.

his deep brown eyes are hopeful, crease in his brows giving away the myriad of emotions swirling deep in his stomach.

you stay silent, back turned towards him. you can feel the tears that pool behind your eyelids, threatening to fall as you hold yourself over the sink, turning your head completely away from seungmin. you hear the sound of fabric rustling, and your cheeks warm at the thought of him undressing in the middle of your kitchen.

the sound of wood scratching against your kitchen tiles is loud, the abruptness of seungmin standing up nearly sending the chair backwards.

"smells like you." he whispers. he cant trust his voice.

he takes a step towards you, your back still towards him.

"i think its time for you to go." you hiccup, a steady stream of tears flowing down your cheeks.

"look at me." seungmin begs, taking another step.

"you should go now, seungmin."

"look me in the eye when you tell me. then i will."

he's getting bold, standing right behind you, his chest pressing the back of your head. you whirl around, ready to yell at him, to scream at him, to slap him, to furl your hands into fists and beat against his chest.

but he's quicker, wrapping both his arms around your shoulders and pressing you close to him, tucking your head under his chin. he holds you like this for so long you figure its been hours. you stain the front of his chest with your tears, hands weakly wrapping around him, fingers curling into the fabric.

he still feels like seungmin.

your seungmin.

"you kept it. you got my letter too, didn't you sweetheart?" he whispers, as if afraid raising his voice would ruin the spell.

you sob violently against his chest, holding him tighter against you.

"i meant every single word," he squeezes you tightly, "i'm so sorry."

"you're an asshole, kim seungmin." you sob, shaking your head.

"i know, i know. i'm so sorry." he shushes you, smoothing down your hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.

"do you know how much it hurts?" you sob, pulling away from him. "i see you almost everyday. you have the face of someone who knows every single thing about me, but you're a complete stranger to me." you sob into your hands, pouring your heart out to him.

"i know," he sniffles, wiping away the snot under your nose with his free hand.

"no, you dont. stop fucking saying that." you pull your face away from him, pushing his hand down. "you were my best friend and you- now its like i dont know you and-" you're hiccuping, heaving, out of breath as you break down.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart, okay? i'm so so sorry. i was so stupid,"

"well yea!" you yell, falling into him when he opens his arms up to you.

he chuckles dryly at that, holding you tightly against him, as if terrified you'd change your mind and kick him out of your home. and he cant bear to see it, the way you look up at him with tears in your eyes, bloodshot red and full of resentment. he wants to fix it so bad, misses the way you'd hold softness in your eyes reserved especially for him.

"i'll make it right," he promises, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. "i'll prove it to you, okay? i promise."

you sniffle, shaking your head. "i- i dont know,"

"hey, look at me." seungmin pulls you away from him, bending slightly so you're eye to eye. "i promise, i'll do everything i can to gain back your trust. i just miss you so much, y/n. i- i really fucked up and to this day it remains my greatest regret."

you stay quiet, eyes flickering between either of his. "even more than when you shaved your head that one summer?" you joke weakly.

seungmin can feel his heart pounding at the sight of your small smile. he thinks he sees your eyes twinkle. "yes, sweetheart. even more than that. i just... please. give me another chance. give me a chance to make it right with you, y/n."

you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. seungmin's steadily crying, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand as he looks at you, expectantly. you stay quiet for so long seungmin can hear the blood rushing all the way to his head, going dizzy with anticipation and fear.

"you'll have to buy me lots of gummies, you know?" you mumble, looking up at him.

fuck. he'd buy you all the gummies in the world if it meant you'd keep looking at him with those eyes.

the words on your screen have started to blur altogether, vision hazy as you mindlessly scroll through the hundreds of pages of readings and notes youve been reviewing for the past...... god, was there even a time you weren't studying? even the music playing through your headphones have lost its appeal, sounding more and more like radio static.

you jolt out of your trance at the sound of books slamming against the surface of your table, which shakes under the weight. you quickly pull your headphones off and look up at the intruder, who smiles sheepishly at you.

"sorry, did i wake you?" seungmin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.

"no, you saved me." you groan, stretching your whole body until your limbs start to vibrate.

seungmin only laughs, sinking deep into his chair. he takes his cap off and runs his fingers through his hair. he scoots a little closer to you, then bends the other way to retrieve a little brown paper bag.

"i brought you breakfast." he says, rolling his eyes at the way you pout at him.

"seungmin, you didnt!" you gasp, receiving the tall cup of iced coffee with eager hands.

"i did this for myself, actually." he claims, pulling out some warm bread to share with you. "dont want you grumpy all morning. what time did you come in? you look like shit. no offense."

you shrug, taking a long sip of the cold drink.

"wait, weren't you wearing that last night when i left? y/n.. dont- oh my god, dont tell me you spent the whole night here?"

you stare blankly back at him. "our final exam is in three days."

"do you plan on staying awake until then?" seungmin bites sarcastically, and you kick his chair.

"i have to atleast get a 97 on his exam or else i wont finish his class with high honors." you whine, running your fingers through your hair in frustration.

you're so much like him, seungmin thinks. he, too, is familiar with sacrificing his happiness for a perfect grade. except now he has to work just as hard as you just to pass. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"you have to get some sleep or you wont finish his class at all." he threatens, staring down at you.

you only frown, but you dont need that much convincing, as you're already closing your laptop shut, scooting your chair just that much closer to seungmin's so your arm grazes his.

"wake me up in thirty minutes." you grumble, linking your arm with his and resting your head on his shoulder. he raises it a little to grant you comfort, unbothered by the fact that his arm will inevitably start to tense and ache.

"sweet dreams," he hums, discreetly kissing the top of your head as he pretends to look at the empty chair next to you.

ten minutes pass, and you're already snoring. your fair falls in a mess in front of your face, and seungmin has to hold back from sweeping your hair away in fear that he'd accidentally wake you up. he cant help but feel his chest swell at the feeling of you leaning on him, he feels like a highschooler high with giddiness, trying hard not to vibrate in his seat.

screw the readings, he can barely keep you out of his head. this past month has been an absolute dream to him, spending every waking moment by your side. treating you to almost every single meal, keeping you company as you run your errands, crashing at yours to study and just goof around.

this is how he remembers you- full of life, playful, just a little mischievous. so positively alluring that seungmin feels himself falling in love with you. it hit him like a brick that night you passed out with papers strewn across your bed, your limbs tangling with his. he didnt sleep a wink that night, too busy studying your face. you looked so peaceful, he remembers, burying your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly in your sleep.

he looks down at you now, cant stop the smile from spreading across his face. he'll let you sleep for a little longer, he decides. he doesnt care if you get upset with him (you will), you deserve the rest. seungmin's about to finally clear his head of you and actually get some studying done when he locks eyes with a tall blonde from across the room.

god, of all the people.

"oh, hey! seungmin, right? felix's friend?" soobin says in a low voice as he approaches the table.

"yea, soobin right?" stupid fucking name.

"yea. hey- is that y/n?" he nods towards your sleeping figure.

ew. stop looking at her. "oh, yea. she passed out."

"damn, she's really studious, huh? ran into her late last night when she was here all alone." soobin sighs, frowning at you.

seungmin wants to puke at the thought of you spending time alone with soobin. he wants to ask him so many questions like- how long did you talk to her for? what did you guys talk about? how much can i pay you to leave her alone?

"yea, shes hardworking. i admire her for that." seungmin smiles fondly.

"oh... wait- are.. are you guys, like, a thing? or something?" soobin takes a step back and seungmin's breath hitches in his throat.

"cuz if you guys are, i can totally back off, you know?"

seungmin stays silent, weighing his options. he could lie and say you guys were dating, but if you found out, you'd probably hate him and ignore him for the rest of his life and he'd rather die than let that happen. on the other hand, if he tells the truth, soobin would obviously try to pursure you. and he knows you have a little crush on him too.

seungmin bites his lower lip, then shakes his head. "nah, we're just friends." seungmin can feel some bile rise in his throat. not for long, he thinks cockily.

"oh, cool cool. uhm, if you could do me a favor, man? just... i dunno ask her to go to the cafe again this week? maybe i'll work up the courage to ask her out or something." soobin chuckles, cheeks turning a deep red.

seungmin can only nod. finally soobin offers him a small smile and leaves. there's a heavy feeling in seungmin's stomach, almost as if he'd been punched in the gut. he cant even begin to imagine you dating someone else, in fear that he'd just break down right then and there.

its kinda pathetic, really. you're not even his yet and he's already thinking of all the ways he can get soobin to leave you alone. he wants to print a large sign that says "do not approach, angry guard dog will bite" over your head, just to keep everyone else away from you.

god, since when was he this possessive?

he spends the next forty minutes thinking of ways to get you to be his. and when you finally stir awake, the first thing that seungmin says is-

"we should stop going to felix's cafe."

obviously, you dont listen.

you go to felix's cafe anyways, except you're always alone. seungmin doesn't need to know where you go every thursday afternoon while he's in class, anyways. he never told you why he wanted you to stop coming here, but you have a hunch. a tall, blonde, stupidly handsome hunch.

"y/n!" soobin greets you warmly, leaning over the counter to get a better look at your face.

"hey, soob." your cheeks warm.

you know that nothing is going on between you and seungmin, but you can't help but feel guilty doing exactly the opposite of what he asked of you. but something's shifted the past few days you've been spending with seungmin, almost as if you're seeing each other in this new light. you push this thought to the back of your head like you always do, telling soobin your order and waiting for felix at your booth.

by the time soobin brings the food to you, your phone rings.

fuck. its seungmin.

"hello?"

"hey, my classes ended a little early today. where are you?"

"oh, uhm im-"

oh my god lie faster.

"yea?" you can hear him huffing, obviously walking around campus, probably looking for you.

"at the library." you spit, looking outside the window, frozen with paranoia. lying to him feels so so wrong.

"its wednesday, y/n. library's closed."

oh my fucking god, lie better.

"i went to meet felix." you finally admit, shrinking into your seat.

you hear seungmin sigh. "is he out already?"

"no," you mumble.

"so you're alone?"

you hum.

"im on my way."

he hangs up, and you let out a sigh.

finally, felix barges out from the kitchens and quickly clocks out, throwing his apron over his head and hanging it on the hook by the door. he smiles when he sees you, nearly leaping over the counter to get to you.

"hello, my dear y/n." felix hums, kissing you quickly on the cheek and settling on the booth opposite from you.

"hello, my dear lixie." you hum, pushing a plate of waffles in front of him. "for you, your usual."

felix groans with hunger, fixing his plate with a heavy load of syrup and a huge dollop of butter. "so, how are things? any important new updates this week?"

you shrug, taking a sip of your iced coffee. "nothing new, really..... except, i guess...."

felix hums, urging you to continue.

you let out a deep breath, shaking your head. "i think... i think something's going on between seungmin and i."

you bite the inside of your cheek at felix's reaction, mouth agape as he stares blankly at you. it takes him a moment to process before he finally swallows the food in his mouth and he lets out an evil giggle. "oh, this is... oh, hyunjin owes me so much money!"

"you prick!" you gasp, swatting at felix's arm. "you guys bet on us?"

"well, i mean, come on! it was sooo obvious, i mean, it was only a matter of time, you know?" felix shrugs, cutting up another piece of his waffle.

"no, i do not know!" you squeal, piercing the piece with your fork and stuffing it into your mouth, ignoring your friend's whines of protest. "you guys thought seungmin and i would end up together?"

"well yea, everyone with eyes thought so! come on, y/n. he's looked at you like a lovesick puppy since highschool." felix rolls his eyes. "you guys were always together, and he knew you better than all of us combined. not to mention how lifeless you both were the two years you werent talking. i mean seriously, it was like hanging out with a couple of zombies."

your cheeks warm. "but- im still not even sure of how he feels about me."

"wow. love does make you oblivious as fuck, or whatever they say." felix shakes his head, chugging down his vanilla milkshake before he suddenly remembers something.

"does that mean you're gonna let him help you grade the papers for extra credit?"

you freeze. "what?"

"yea, seungmin said he needs to convince you or else he'd fail, or something. you guys talked about it already, or?"

your breath falters, and your brows furrow. "seungmin's failing a class?"

felix swallows. he cant shake off the feeling that he said something he shouldnt have. but he could never keep a secret from you.

"well- yes. his prof said he needed to convince you to help him get extra credit."

"wait, when was this?" you ask, voice stern.

oh, felix is soooo in deep shit. "uhm, like the day you guys started talking again."

your heart drops to your ass. surely, thats not the whole reason why he was so desperate to talk to you again, right? but you cant shake away the feeling, remembering back to highschool when he'd done almost the exact same thing.

but he promised. he promised it'd be different this time, right?

"seungmin told you that he needed to convince me to let him grade some papers?" you clarify.

"yea."

"and what did you say?"

"i uhm- i told him to like, turn on his charm or something along those lines."

you scoff in disbelief.

felix is going to hell. "but, that was my advice before i knew it was you! i just... i know seungmin needed some help and he'd do anything to get a good grade so i figured he was extra desperate because he was borderline failing and i was just so shocked and-"

"felix, just stop talking." you mumble, leaning back against the booth.

felix only nods, wringing his hands in nervousness. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shoot him a glare. he falls silent again, nervously gnawing on his bottom lip.

your mind's racing, going 100 miles an hour as you go through every moment youve had with seungmin this past month. obviously, this favor is not the only reason he tried hard to convince you to talk to him again, right?

but theres a small voice inside of you, the one who remembers the harsh pain seungmin caused that's screaming, telling you to cut him off, shut him out before he can hurt you all over again.

by the time seungmin pulls open the glass door, you've made up your mind.

"he-"

"this is the last time i let you break my heart, kim seungmin." you say firmly, brushing past him.

seungmin can only stand, frozen. his heart drops to his stomach, head going fuzzy as his gaze lands on felix. he opens his mouth to say something, but he cant find the words.

"what did you say?" seungmin asks.

"im sorry, i didnt know, i thought-"

seungmin's rushing out, throwing the door wide open as he runs out into the street. he can feel his heart pumping as he pushes through crowds of people, racing towards you. he can hear his blood rushing, catching sight of your yellow sundress as you're pushing open your apartment building. seungmin's never been a runner, hell, he nearly failed PE in highschool when he was forced to run laps a whole semester. but right now? he feels like the fucking flash.

he yells for you, ignoring the stitch in his side as he manages to somewhat catch up to you. by the time he throws open the heavy metal door to your apartment complex, the elevator doors are closing, your eyes locking with his.

"fuck." seungmin heaves, bending down to rest his hands on his knees. he needs to reach you before you lock him out of your room. he knows how stubborn you can be, you could probably ignore his pleas and incessant knocking for days if you had to.

seungmin gags, shaking his limbs before he bolts up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, pushing his legs to work faster. the backpack on his shoulders is heavy but he could care less. he cant risk losing you again.

sweat flows freely from his forehead by the time he reaches your floor, and by some miracle, he catches you walking down the hall.

"y/n!" he heaves, sliding his bag off his shoulders and leaving it right there in the hall. "please-"

"go away, seungmin." your voice cracks, digging for your keys in your bag.

he shakes his head, jogging up to you before you can close the door in his face. he sticks his shoe in the closing gap, groaning when it gets stuck between your door and the frame.

"what the fuck?" you yell, backing up as seungmin forces his way into your apartment, closing the door behind him.

"no you- you have to hear me out." he's panting, vision going blurry. jesus christ, he was out of shape.

"you want to talk about it?" you challenge, shrugging your coat off and throwing it on the floor.

"yes." he heaves, leaning against the wall.

"okay, lets talk about it. is it true that you wanted to convince me to help you get extra credit?" your hands are crossed in front of you. seungmin's admittedly a little scared.

"yes, but-"

"but what? i wasnt supposed to find out?"

"no! that was before-"

"before what?" you take a step closer, crowding him in.

"before i realized i was in love with you!" seungmin yells, hiding his face in his hands.

you're silent, expression stoic. "you're sick." you whisper, unsure of yourself. your heart is racing, and you take a step back. "dont... dont say that."

"but its the truth!" seungmin's desperate know, tears welling in his eyes. it wasnt supposed to happen like this. he was supposed to take you out, confess his feelings for you properly, but now its all ruined and rushed and- oh, when he gets his hands on lee felix-

"the truth?" you scoff, shaking your head at him. "how am i supposed to believe you? with everything that... that's happened?"

"you're going to have to trust me." seungmin steps forward, hesitant. he can see the doubt in your eyes and it makes him sick. he'd run up 10 flights of stairs if it meant you'd never look at him like that again.

"trust me when i say that i was a fucking fool in highschool for hurting you, and i spend every day thinking about how if i could, i would go back in time to change everything." he takes another step forward, backing you against the door to your bedroom.

"that i wasted two and a half years of my life by not spending them with you, knowing that you were so near me, that i could easily walk up to you but i was too embarrassed, too scared you'd shut me out." seungmin's baring his soul out, but its too late to stop.

"that i thought about you every single day, thought about what could have been if i wasnt so stupid. that ive spent the last few months doing everything i can to prove to you that i would never ever hurt you like that ever again. but with you im just so stupid, i feel like im always doing the wrong things because youre all up in my head taking up all the space and i fucking love that i cant think about anything but you."

you can only stare up at him. you can see the way his gaze flickers away from you, too nervous to maintain eye contact. he reaches out to you, fingers hesitantly brushing against the back of your hand. testing. you pull away from his touch to wipe away the tear that's managed to slip away, clearing your throat. he tilts his head, hands settling firmly on your waist.

"i love you, y/n. please, you have to believe me."

he's waiting for you to say something, anything. he's never poured his heart out like that before, the silence eating away at him as he slowly spirals, overthinking every word he's said.

but then you relax in his hold, pressing your chest subtly against his. and he knows there's hope.

"are you really failing a class?" you whisper, and seungmin can only laugh.

"that's your concern?" he leans down, dragging the tip of his nose against your cheek. he inhales deeply, nuzzling against you.

"well, yes." you gently push him away by the shoulder, looking up at him. "i cant have my boyfriend failing any of his classes."

seungmin smiles, absolutely melting when you wrap your arms around his neck. "oh yea? does that mean you'll let me in on the extra credit?"

"you are on thin, thin ice, seungmin." you warn, reaching up to finally press your lips against his. seungmin absolutely melts, letting out a low groan at your taste. one hand on your waist, seungmin leans into you, reaching behind you to open your bedroom door. you gasp when you lose balance, recovering quickly when seungmin walks you backwards, never once pulling away from you until the back of your knees hit your bed.

you let out a squeal when you fall back, seungmin expertly finding his way in between your legs. "tell me you want me," seungmin commands in between kisses, hands roaming up and down your sides.

"i do. i want you." you breathe, pushing off seungmin's jacket.

"yea?" seungmin hums, pulling back to bunch up your dress until it sits just below your ribcage. he leans back, simply staring down at you with stars in his eyes.

"stop staring at me." you mumble shyly, turning your head to the side.

"dont want to," seungmin hums, quickly throwing his shirt off into a random corner of your room. "ill look at my girl as long as i like." he leans down, capturing your lips with his.

"your girl, hmm?" you hum, smiling as he kisses his way up your stomach, fingers gripping onto the hem of your dress. your breath hitches when his fingers brush against your under boob. he smiles against your skin, looking up at you.

"aren't- arent you going to take my dress off?" you whisper into the air, and seungmin stops his teasing kisses against your hip.

"well, i was going to but then.." he kisses over the fabric, planting a wet kiss in between your breasts before latching onto your neck for a playful bite. "then i thought about how i want to fuck you in it and then take you out to dinner after."

your cheeks grow red, lightly slapping his arm at his vulgarity. "doesnt that sound better, baby?" seungmin hums, playing with the hem of your underwear.

your breath goes shaky as seungmin continues to toy with you, pads of his fingers lightly pressing against your clit from over your underwear, providing the littlest bit of friction, but enough to drive you crazy.

"seungmin, please-"

"please, what?" he teases, hips pressing into your thigh. you can feel him through his sweats, hard and aching against you. he begins to grind against you, gentle enough to tease you and get him off at the same time.

"need you to touch me." you huff, frustrated.

"i am, baby." seungmin chuckles, pads of his fingers pressing against you firmly, trailing down until he teases your entrance, soiling the fabric of your underwear with how wet you are.

"you know what i mean," you whine.

seungmin only hums, lowering his sweats just enough to free his cock. he pulls your underwear to the side, exposing your cunt to the cold air of the room, making you shiver.

"you're so wet, baby. bet i could slide right in, huh?" seungmin teases you with his tip, tapping it firmly against your clit and trailing down to coat himself in you.

"god, just put it in, minnie." you sigh, grabbing at his shoulders.

"minnie?" seungmin smirks, nosing against your jaw. "i like that."

he finally presses in, slowly making sure you feel every inch of him. you wince a bit at the pain, and seungmin notices with a coo. he pulls your hands away from his shoulders to hold against your bed, fingers intertwining with yours.

"i'm sorry, does it hurt?" he coos, slowly pulling out to thrust back in.

"a little, its okay. kiss me."

seungmin obeys, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as he starts at an even pace. he's slow with it, stroking so deep you can feel him in your throat. it feels intimate this way, with his hands in yours, his chest pressed firmly against you. he pants into your mouth, kissing you when you start to moan too loudly.

"tell me you love me." seungmin sighs, resting his forehead against yours.

you nod, "i love you. love you minnie."

seungmin lets out a groan at that, pulling one hand away to sneak in between your bodies, tips of his fingers finding your clit. he starts to move them in circles, your high fast approaching.

"i'm gonna cum," you whine, squeezing his hand.

"cum with me, baby. please," he begs, holding you so tight against him you feel the air knocked out of you with every thrust. you cum with a whine of his name, fingers digging into the back of his hand. his hips stutter before he presses as deep as he can into you, groaning loudly as he mouths at your neck.

you're both sweaty and sticky, but seungmin pays no mind as he collapses completely on top of you, wrapping his limbs around you. he looks up at you when his breathing starts to even, a cheeky grin on his face.

"what," you laugh, pushing him away by the shoulder when he leans in to kiss you.

he loves the sound of your happiness, basking in it as he shifts closer to pull you into his side. you happily comply, ignoring the mess in between your legs in favor of cuddling up to your lover.

"i really do love you." seungmin reassures, and you roll your eyes.

"i love you too. really." you hum, kissing his shoulder. "now clean me up, and dont even think about falling asleep."

seungmin groans, rolling off your bed to reach for a towel to wet. "but we have plenty of time before dinner. we can nap!"

"no, i will nap." seungmin frowns, walking into your bathroom and turning the faucet on.

"and what do you expect me to do?" seungmin says once he returns to the room, eyebrows raised.

"you, will check all the papers left in my bag." seungmin only laughs, leaning down to wipe in between your thighs, careful to get every drop.

"then can we get dinner?" he asks, pout on his lips.

"yes. your treat."

"well, duh."

as you close your eyes and start to drift off to sleep, seungmin only watches, hunched over on your bedroom floor, hundreds of papers scattered in front of him. he prays he'll be able to get it together and pry his eyes away from you to actually get some work done.

he seriously doubts it.

taglist: comment if you want to be added or removed!

@pochamin22 @bee123sthings @ohnocent @hyunchannie017 @r1n4 @heluvschibi @kpop-obsessed-all-the-time @elizalabs3 @uknowme-not @bee123sthings @n034sy

[paddlescuddlesbubblesgurgles]

Why?

I’ve done it. It’s over. 

I let out a deep breath that turns into a burp. My belly lets out a gurgle. 

Another gorging come and gone. A party sized fast food order completely inside my fat, burgeoning, hefty gut. 

All that remains outside are wrappers, a few empty bags, and an empty cup. 

I lean back in my chair. It creaks slightly. I’m so full I can barely keep my eyes open, my body devoting all my energy to digesting my oversized meal. I let out a long, breathy sigh. 

The buttons on my shirt are straining and it has ridden up. It’s my favorite shirt. Soon I’ll grow out of it. It bothers me. But I cannot stop giving my stomach what it needs. 

I let my shirt just roll up the rest of the way. My full, satiated belly softly plops out in my lap. There isn’t really any space for anything else. My stomach easily covers about half of my gigantic thighs. I rub my huge, sensitive, engorged gut. Involuntary moans escape me. My smooth skin is soft and warm, my squishy fat presses in with my hands as I firmly push and precede over the swollen, fleshy orb in my lap. 

I’m so tuckered out. My whole evening. My valuable and limited free time…gone. Just like the 1000s of calories of food, my needy, heavy, inflated gut has consumed that entirely too. I have no choice now but to sleep off this multi person gathering sized meal. I can’t remain conscious much longer. 

I must get up. It’s so difficult. My belly weighs me down. It all sloshes inside me as I stand. I’m so fatigued, and downright sluggish from the new contents of my stomach. My breathing is labored and short. I’m simply out of breath. 

I waddle out of my dining room. My heavy steps are slow, I can’t manage anything fast. I feel dazed, so encumbered, so overladen with delicious food. My belly doesn’t jiggle as much in this state. It’s so solidly filled. 

I stop to inspect the damage I’ve dealt in the bathroom mirror. My shirt is draped over my torso like a tent now. 4Xs don’t fit like they used to. I slide it off. My belly is taunt up top. My stretch marks more pronounced. Soft, squishy flab hangs off of me and sags low. My deep overhang shocks me as usual when I turn to the side. I am so wide, and even wider like this. I scoop my prize up in my arms, lifting it. This pushes out another burp. It’s a relief taking the pressure off my back for a moment, achey from lugging this enormous thing around all the time. 

Thoughts dance through my mind as I hold up my bloated stomach. 

Why do I do this? I eat so much food constantly. Entire evenings, hours on end devoted to consuming it all and digesting it and cradling this fat, overfed gut. 

I drop my heavy belly on the counter. A loud, meaty plop echoes off the walls. It has been sagging slightly into the sink. I use both hands to manhandle my squishy, overstuffed pride. Pure ecstasy. My bellybutton gaped more fully open. My thick, blubbery side rolls squished against the edge of the sink. My gut has become a solid, fleshy sack of pleasure. A bulging, globular trophy of unrestrained gluttony and hedonist overindulgence. It’s simply covered in decadent fat. My whole body is overladen with lard. 

Why? Because my belly always gets what it wants. It’s pampered. Spoiled. It needs to be filled until it no longer can be. I must oblige. I have no choice. It is a command. I must obey. 

Why? Because it feels so fucking good. 

This is why.

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Tiny Paws, Big Adventures

Word count: 773

pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader, ft. Leo

Summary: you and Charles Leclerc enjoy a peaceful day in Monaco with your playful dachshund, Leo, as you talk about expanding your little family and cherish the quiet moments away from the racetrack

______________________________________________________________

You and Charles Leclerc had been dating for a few years now, and your life with him was often fast-paced, filled with race weekends, travel, and the occasional media frenzy. But the quieter moments, especially those spent at home, were your favorite. That’s where Leo, your longhaired dachshund, came in — the tiny, furry heart of your little family.

It was an off weekend, and Charles had promised to spend the day at home with you and Leo. You were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when you heard the rapid sound of little paws tapping against the wooden floor. Leo darted into the living room, tail wagging furiously, his long, silky fur bouncing as he excitedly scurried around, while Charles followed behind, laughing as he tried to keep up with the energetic dog.

"How is he always faster than me?" Charles chuckled, flopping down on the couch next to you. He leaned over to give you a quick kiss before reaching down to rub Leo's fluffy head.

"Because he’s just as fast as his dad," you teased, smiling at Charles. "Or maybe faster, with those short little legs."

Charles grinned and put an arm around you. "I think he's more aerodynamic."

You laughed, watching as Leo spun around, clearly trying to convince one of you to play with him. "You should take him out for a run. He needs to burn off all this energy."

Charles leaned back, stretching out his arms. "Or maybe he can tire me out," he said, half-joking. "What do you think, Leo? Want to go out?"

At the sound of his name, Leo barked happily, his ears flopping as he danced around in excitement. You couldn’t help but laugh at how much joy a simple walk brought him.

"Alright, alright," you said, standing up to grab Leo’s leash. "Let’s go tire this little guy out."

The three of you headed out for a walk along the quiet streets of Monaco. Leo trotted ahead, his small legs moving quickly as his leash bobbed up and down with every eager step. Charles had one hand loosely holding the leash, while his other hand rested on your shoulder as you walked side by side.

Moments like these were your favorite. When it was just you, Charles, and Leo, away from the cameras and the intensity of race weekends. Charles was always more relaxed at home, and you could see the stress melt away with each step as he walked with you.

"You know," Charles said after a while, looking down at Leo, "I’ve been thinking… maybe we should get him a little friend."

You raised an eyebrow, glancing up at him. "Another dachshund?"

Charles grinned. "Why not? Leo could use some company. Maybe he wouldn’t miss us as much when we’re away."

You laughed softly. "You mean when you’re away. I’m pretty sure he’s happy to have me all to himself when you’re racing."

"Fair enough," Charles chuckled, pulling you a little closer. "But seriously, I think it’d be fun. What do you think?"

You looked at Leo, who was now happily sniffing a patch of grass, his little tail wagging in the breeze. The idea of another longhaired dachshund waddling around the apartment was sweet. "I think it could be nice. But two of them? You’d better be ready for double the trouble."

Charles gave you a cheeky smile. "I can handle it. Besides, you’re the one who always spoils Leo more than me."

"Well, maybe," you admitted with a laugh, playfully nudging him. "But don’t act like you don’t let him sleep on your side of the bed whenever I’m not looking."

Charles feigned innocence. "I would never."

You rolled your eyes, leaning into him as the two of you continued walking, brainstorming names and imagining the chaos of two dachshunds running around the apartment. By the time you made it back home, Leo had finally tired himself out, curling up on the couch the moment you stepped through the door.

Charles flopped down beside him, pulling you onto his lap. You rested your head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. "This is nice," he murmured, his voice soft and content.

You smiled, feeling the same sense of calm settle over you. "It is."

Leo snored softly at your feet, and Charles kissed the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. "I love you, you know?"

"I love you too, Charles."

No matter how hectic life became, you knew that these quiet moments, just the three of you — you, Charles, and little Leo — were what made it all worth it.

[yoonjoongles]

Staying Awake with You

-> Pairing: Song Mingi x Y/n

-> Summary: On a sleepless night, Y/n finds herself sharing a quiet, intimate moment with Mingi, who shows up unannounced and in need of comfort. Y/n reminds Mingi that he won’t ever be a burden and that she’ll always be there for him—no matter the hour.

-> Word count: 1251

The soft hum of the overhead fan filled the quiet living room. The warm glow of fairy lights draped across the wall above the television gave the space a cozy vibe. Y/n sat cross-legged on the sofa with a steaming cup of tea cradled in her hands. She had always loved this time of the night—when the world seemed to calm down, the chaos of the day being left behind.

But tonight wasn’t like most nights. Tonight, Mingi was here.

He was sat on the floor in front of her, leaning against the sofa with a blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders like a cape. He somehow managed to make himself appear much smaller than he was as he huddled closer to the blanket’s warmth. The glow from the lights cast soft shadows across his face, highlighting the pout of his lips and the tiredness in his eyes.

“Y/n/n,” he murmured, tilting his head so he’d be able to look at her. “You should go to bed. It’s late.”

She chuckled softly, taking a sip of her tea. “You’re one to talk. Aren’t you the one who came over unannounced at midnight saying you couldn’t sleep?”

Mingi’s lips twitched into a sheepish smile. “Okay, that’s fair. But you shouldn’t have to stay up and lose sleep just because I’m restless.”

“Don’t be silly,” she said, before placing her mug on the coffee table. “I want to stay up with you.”

His eyes widened slightly, and a soft blush could be seen creeping up his cheeks. “You don’t have to, you know? I’ll feel bad if you don’t get enough sleep and end up being tired tomorrow.”

Y/n reached down, gently tugging on the edge of his blanket. “Mingi, I’m doing this because I want to. Besides, it’s not every day I get to hang out with you like this. You’re always busy being an idol.”

The slight teasing tone in Y/n’s voice seemed to make him relax, and he gave her a lopsided grin before turning back to the television, where a random nature documentary was playing. The narrator’s voice filled the room as footage of small penguins waddling across an icy landscape appeared on the screen. Mingi pointed at a particularly clumsy baby penguin while laughing softly.

“Look at that one,” he said, voice warm and amused. “That’s me whenever our dance practices run late.”

Y/n burst out laughing, the sound echoing around the room. “You’re not that bad! If anything, you’re more like the penguin up front, the one leading the group.”

He looked up at her, his eyes sparkling with playful disbelief. “Do you mean to say I’m a natural-born leader?”

“Obviously,” she teased him again, nudging his shoulder with her foot. “The penguin king of the K-pop world.”

Mingi threw his head back, laughing in that unrestrained way that never failed to make her heart feel like it was wrapped in the warmest of hugs. His laugh was definitely one of her favourite things about him—it was loud, and it was contagious, and so uniquely Mingi.

As his laughter faded, Mingi leaned his head back against the couch, gazing up at her sweetly. His expression softened, the playfulness giving way to something quieter. “Thanks for putting up with me,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

Y/n frowned, leaning forward so she’d be able to meet his gaze more directly. “What are you on about?”

“Just…” He shrugged, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “I’m aware, you know? That I can be a lot sometimes. Showing up at the weirdest hours, rambling about something random most of the time, always taking up your time when you probably have better things to do…” He trailed off, looking embarrassed.

Y/n’s heart squeezed at the vulnerability she heard in his voice. She reached out, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “Mingi, I don’t ‘put up’ with you. I enjoy spending time with you. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the middle of the day or the middle of the night, you’re always welcome here.”

He blinked up at her, lips parting slightly as if he wanted to say something more but no words would come out. After a moment, he smiled—the softest, most genuine smile she’d ever seen from him and one that made her chest feel light.

“You’re too good to me, Y/n/n,” he said, his voice tinged with awe.

She shook her head, a grin tugging at her lips. “Nah, I think you might just have really bad taste in friends.”

Mingi laughed again, the tension in his shoulders easing bit by bit as he relaxed against the couch. “If that’s the case, then I’m glad I have terrible taste.”

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, the documentary long forgotten as they simply basked in each other’s presence. Y/n reached for her mug again, the warmth seeping into her palms as she took a sip. Mingi, still sitting on the floor, leaned his head back, his eyes slowly fluttering shut.

For a moment, she thought he might have fallen asleep, but then she heard his soft and drowsy voice. “Y/n?”

“Hmm?” she hummed, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the sofa’s armrest.

“Do you think the penguins ever feel lonely out there? On the ice.”

She cocked an eyebrow, caught off guard by his question. “I don’t know,” she replied thoughtfully. “But they’ve got their group, right? Their friends and family? They stick together, even when it’s cold and hard.”

Mingi nodded slowly, his eyes still closed. “I think that’s nice. Having people who’ll always stick with you, no matter what.”

Y/n smiled, reaching down to ruffle his hair gently. “You’ve got that too, you know. Your members, your fans…me.”

His eyes fluttered open, and he stared at her. There was something different in his gaze—something tender and unspoken. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I know that.”

The warmth in his voice made Y/n’s heart skip a beat, and she quickly looked away, pretending to be engrossed in the penguins on the documentary. But out of the corner of her eye, she could see the small, happy smile that lingered on his lips.

As the night wore on, Mingi eventually climbed up onto the couch, sprawling out like a giant cat and causing Y/n to laugh at how much space he took up, but she didn’t complain when he decided to rest his head on her lap, the blanket still comfortably wrapped around him.

“Are you comfy?” she asked, her tone lightly teasing.

“Very,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric of her pyjama trousers. “Don’t move. You’re a good pillow.”

Y/n simply rolled her eyes not really protesting, her hand instinctively coming down to run through his hair. The strands soft beneath her fingers, and she could feel him relax even more against her.

The documentary eventually came to an end, the television screen going dark except for the faint glow of the paused menu. Y/n glanced down at Mingi, only to realise that his breathing had evened out, his face peaceful as he finally managed to drift off to sleep.

She smiled to herself, leaning her head back against the couch. “Don’t be silly, Mingi,” she whispered, echoing her words from their earlier conversation. “I’ll always stay up with you.”

And as the first light of dawn began to creep through the living room’s curtains, Y/n closed her eyes, the warmth of Mingi’s comforting presence lulling her into a peaceful sleep.

All Rights Reserved © yoonjoongles // do not copy or modify my work in any way.

[sshushayla]

after her father.

jude bellingham x fem!reader + mini daughter bellingham. fluff. jude who became a star for his daughter.

Your daughter giggled loudly, clapping her hand aggressively as Jude scored a goal for Real Madrid, his team. In your arms, your daughter jumped up and down showing off her growing teeth. You smiled widely, eyes twinkling in adoration to see your daughter being merry and joy at the loud cheer for her father. 

Jude ran in front of the crowd, his eyes eagerly dancing through the crowd to find his girls to meet the gaze of his little one clapping hands like everyone else. As the whole stadium of Bernabéu roared for Jude Bellingham, his heart soared high seeing his daughter in the midst of the crowd clapping and smiling just for him. 

He smiled, blowing a few kisses repeatedly toward your direction, your daughter excitedly nodded trying to catch his kisses. "Mommy, blow papa kiss." She mumbled, holding your cheeks tight with her small hand. With her order, you jokingly nodded following her action. 

As the players gathered to cheer Jude, the billboard on the stadium captured your daughter with her doe eyes sparkling bright and her big smile. "Do the pose you prepared for papa." You whispered in her ears, as she giggled to your words tingling in her ears. 

Jude is a superstar in her eyes. As he is away for matches or training, all she would watch is more contents of her father uploaded on social media. The constant giggles of Jude scoring a goal or making a scene with the referee. Your daughter learnt quickly about her father through youtube, regardless if it were some cuss words or some facial expression, she followed through.

Jude squinted his eyes gazing at his little girl as she swung her arm open wide just like her father as you strengthen your hold onto your baby protectively. People stood up from the benches cheering and applauding for Jude’s daughter. He stood in admiration to see how quickly his daughter is becoming like him. 

"That's my baby taking after me, innit." Jude chuckled, going back to his position with the rest of his teammates laughing with him. This win is an absolute must, considering his daughter being in one of the benches where he has to still be the superstar that he is for his daughter. 

You walked through the tunnel to meet Jude as your daughter waddled her way with her tiny little feet to meet her father. After the billboard incident, there were numerous people waving at your daughter with their phone hounding and recording her. 

She paused, you bent down to meet her eye level, she wrapped her arm around your neck. “Mommy, can I go to papa?” She whispered as she twirled onto her hair playfully messing up the hairstyle you made for her. You smiled slowly letting go of her hand, seeing as a sign, she jumped before pacing forward to her father who had been waiting for her in the field. 

You glanced worriedly but Jude had been on both of his knees opening his arm open for his little one to run into his embrace. All your worries vanished as she had landed on his arm safely. "I got you, i got you, i got you." Jude mumbled under his breath. You gently walked toward the father-daughter duo that were having their own moment. Jude glanced at the side to see you approaching before he motioned you to come faster.

"Hi" You whispered softly, wrapping your hand around his forearm. Jude smiled down, leaning in for a peck. Your daughter covered her eyes, "Papa, me first." Your daughter pulled Jude away from you, holding his cheeks tight.

In that moment, you were burning with love.

[muniimyg]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (11) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ *nsfw*

series m.list // taglist request closed

note: hi !! sorry for the mini wait ,, hope u guys enjoy …. i’d rlly appreciate ur thots for this series as i’m still contemplating on extending or ending it soon !! thank u 🫶🏻

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

//

"mama!"

as you turn your head, your eyes light up at the sight of zion. you watch your assistant push the big conference glass door open for him. he bolts through, smiling brightly. you get up from your chair and bend down, opening your arms for him to crash into. zion giggles, launching himself at you. you squeeze him tight before picking him up.

then, you see jungkook running in after him with flowers in his hands.

"zion, we have to wait for mommy's meeting to finish—oh.." jungkook looks at his son, defeated. then, he pouts at you. "hi. sorry. we planned on waiting in the lobby but your assistant recognized zion and brought us up."

you shrug, trying to regulate your heartbeat. jungkook looks good (as usual) but something about him and this gesture weakens your knees.

"no," you breathe. "don't apologize. this is sweet of you two. are those flowers for me, z?"

zion nods.

"f is flowers for mama!"

you shoot jungkook a glare. in response, he tightens his lips and puffs his cheeks. "seriously? we just talked about his alphabet—stop laughing!"

jungkook ignores you.

he moves past you and greets your colleagues. he recognizes some from past christmas parties and others from the stories you've shared. they make small talk as you sneak in kisses and cheek squishes on zion. when their conversation ends, they slip out of the conference room leaving you and your little family.

swiftly, jungkook moves closer and takes zion from your arms. he whispers in zion's ear and then motions at you. zion offers you the flowers.

happily, you accept the flowers and thank him. then, you purse your lips for a kiss. "wow! thank you, baby."

when zion pulls away from the kiss he declares; "you’re welcome mama. now dada turn!"

without a second thought, you take a shot at jungkook. "did you teach him that too?"

jungkook chuckles. "you wish."

"says who?"

he rolls his eyes at you playfully. "awh! come on. you're just annoyed cos you know he thought of it himself."

"he's mischievous," you agree. "only means he's truly your son—"

"yeah, yeah," jungkook leans forward and gently kisses your cheek. "whatever you say, mama."

you laugh into the crook of his neck. zion laughs along and you scrunch your nose at him.

"daddy's annoying, z."

zion nods in agreement.

offended, jungkook gasps and tickles zion.

"what are you teaching our son?" jungkook pouts.

before you can answer, your attention shifts to the door where three interns enter snickering.

"sorry to interrupt, ms. ___... but is this your son? he's so cute!" one of the three interns asks, entering the conference room. you nod as jungkook shows zion off.

"zion, say hi."

zion bows his head and introduces the family. "hi! this my dada, this my mama, this me!"

"hi zion!" another intern chimes. "did you know your mommy always shows us videos of you singing? can you sing for us?"

"yes!" zion cheers. "want to hear my abc's?"

you clear your throat, unsure of what he could possibly pull.

"zion baby, maybe let's not sing your abc's—"

"a is for back together—"

jungkook covers zion's mouth.

"h-hey, buddy... why don't you sing itsy bitsy spider instead? do the dance too." jungkook suggests, ensuring his tone of voice is positive enough to convenience his son.

zion gasps. "yes, dada! itsy bitsy spider dance! cos i'm spiderman?"

the three interns awe.

they tell zion that he in fact is spiderman. jungkook puts him down, letting zion make waddle his way to them. the three interns bend down, all bonding and competing for zion's attention.

jungkook makes his way back to you. he wraps his arms around your waist and tilts his head at you.

"okay, fine.. i'll stop with the alphabet thing."

you huff. "good."

"you're not mad right?"

"about the alphabet thing? no, i'm not mad," you assure him. "why would i be mad?"

the word mad is a little strong. did it come off like that? maybe you should work on your facial expressions. having a resting bitch face comes with a lot of cons.

jungkook shakes his head, realizing you two were talking about two different things. "no. not that. not the alphabets... what i meant was; i didn't know if you wanted to see me here. disrupting your day or whatever.."

"oh that part? no. it's fine. i always wanna see you—y-you and zion, i mean.""

jungkook blinks at you.

"you and our son," you repeat. "especially our son."

jungkook smirks. "yeah?"

"yeah."

it's then that you realize how close he is to you. not so secretly, you take in his scent. he's freshly showered and his clothes smell like his favourite detergent (of course. he's pretty anal about laundry). it makes you laugh.

"what? why are you laughing?" he asks, smile disappearing.

snorting, you answer him. "nothing. you just... you love downy."

"so what?"

"it's just funny—hey!"

jungkook uses one hand to grab your ass. he grabs a handful. he loves your ass. only has (always will). you laugh, playfully shoving him away.

"yah! we're in public." you laugh.

jungkook squints at you. "should we go to your office then? zion has literally 3 babysitters right now."

"jungkook—"

he pokes your sides, shutting you up. "okay, but for real... aside from zion and i being obsessed with you; we're here to deliver some bad news."

you swallow, letting your mind run wild. what could be so bad that jungkook came over with zion to your work place? if it was a family emergency, he would've given it to you straight. yet, he seems to be calm about everything... surely, it can't be that horrible, right?

your eyebrows furrow together. "what's happened?"

"the unit above that was leaking? apparently, their floors flooded so now our unit's ceiling is leaking. they have to go in and figure out the pipe situation or whatever..." jungkook explains.

"what? holy shit. what do i do—"

"i went in to look for myself. it's not the end of the world but they definitely have to do some damage control. while i was there i just packed your clothes and zion's. grabbed your other stuff too but if i'm missing anything we can go back and—"

"what do you mean? like we can't go home tonight?"

jungkook shakes his head. "not for a good week or two."

"are you serious?" you panic, taking your phone out to check your emails and text messages.

... and there they are. 3 missed calls from your building manager, a lengthy message, and an email detailing everything.

"fuck," you hiss. "so.. what am i supposed to do?"

jungkook sighs, rubbing your back. "relax, okay? the furniture is fine. i moved things around and they said they would check in to make sure nothing in our unit gets ruined... but in the meantime... do you want to stay with your parents or—"

"you."

a beat

"if that's okay?"

jungkook nods, holding himself back. the truth is, it was more than okay. it was perfect actually. he's never been so thankful for a bad thing to happen... but goddamn was he over the moon for this. to be able to sleep in the same bed as you and his son for the next week or so? holy shit.

duh, it's okay.

you take a deep breath and shut your eyes. you try to process your feelings... the entire situation isn't that awful, it's just inconvenient and you didn't expect it to happen. you hate surprises like these. jungkook knows that better than anyone else therefore he thought it be best that he plays damage control for you. grabbing your belongings, picking zion up from daycare today, and delivering you the news personally... it made sense to. also, he didn't want you to stress and struggle without him by your side. of course, he has to be here for you. why would he want you to feel alone in this?

when you open your eyes, you realize jungkook pulled you in for a hug. as you lift your arms to wrap around him, you suddenly pull away when nam joon awkwardly enters the conference room.

"hey joo—nam joon," you greet him. your eyes shift to jungkook. jungkook gives you a look and your tummy feels a little weird. his gaze is stern and his jaw is slightly clenched. you know he caught your slip but you also know he's probably pleased with the way you corrected yourself.

"is that zion? wow, he's grown so much. looks like he's stealing the intern's hearts right now." nam joon asks, admiring your son.

in attempt to lighten the mood, you hit jungkook's chest. "seriously, what are you teaching our son?"

luckily, jungkook chuckles.

nam joon smiles politely. then, he extends his hand. "jungkook, nice to see you again."

jungkook shakes his hand, gripping it tightly. nam joon's eyes drop to the handshake.

"yeah."

... is all jungkook says in response to nam joon.

an odd silence falls between you three. for a moment, you all stand there and watch zion. zion waves at you and jungkook and you two wave back. nam joon watches as jungkook naturally puts his arm around your waist and feels out of place.

nam joon clears his throat.

"oh, did you need something?" you ask, refocusing. "i thought you had to meet a client this afternoon?"

nam joon moves past jungkook, closer to you. he hands you a few papers. you take them and read your name. "your contract is revised. your vacation days are approved. just need you to sign these so i can get my secretary to process them."

your eyes light up. "oh my god! really?"

nam joon smiles. "really. also, i didn't mean to, but i overheard about your unit situation. if you need a play to stay or the day off today—"

jungkook mimics nam joon's throat-clearing noise. he tugs you close and looks directly at nam joon in the eyes. "actually, the day off today would be perfect."

without noticing (as you've been flipping through the papers), you look up at nam joon and give him a hopeful looks. "hey, i did just wrap up with a client... and it's friday..."

nam joon laughs at your cuteness. "go home, ___. enjoy your weekend. your vacation is next wednesday, right? take the extra monday and tuesday off... enjoy your vacation."

your eyes light up for the second time today. jungkook hates it. he hates it even more when you break away from him and give nam joon a half-assed side hug. nam joon catches jungkook's death glare and thinks wow, this guy is ridiculous.

when you pull away, you excuse yourself to sign the papers and quickly look through it. when you finish signing and reading through, you hand the paper back to nam joon and join zion.

jungkook and nam joon watch you hold zion and laugh with the interns. it's an attractive sight, to say the least. you're so good at everything and you always make it look so easy. you're effortlessly funny and ambitious to the point there it's beyond attractive—it's compelling. then, there's the way you laugh. the way you throw your head back is so fucking graceful that the two boys catch each other starstruck.

"i asked her out."

jungkook clenches his jaw. a part of him is in disbelief at how blunt nam joon is. like, who the fuck does he think he is to be saying stupid shit like this? god. the ego on this guy... whatever. jungkook bites nam joon's bait.

"how'd that go?"

"i think you know how it went." nam joon chuckles. it's like he admitted defeat. suddenly the tension is cut and there's space for honesty. hence, nam joon's cue to confess.

"i always thought she was pretty. when she started at the firm, i wanted to ask her out but quickly found out she was in a relationship with you... not only that, but i think i met her when zion was only 1. i moved on. it wasn't that serious and honestly, she was so happy with you... then, you two split or whatever... and it took me 3 months to ask her out. when she said yes, i couldn't believe it. so, of course, i had this whole date planned. i reserved a rooftop table for us. i had the chef make a new menu for us... then, she stood me up. she told me she wasn't ready and that sometimes, it feels like it's hard for her to catch her breath. like she needs air and she wasn't ready to move on because she hasn't exactly given up yet... and that's okay with me. it was never about me anyway... since the beginning, i just wanted to be there for her."

nam joon exchanges a look with jungkook.

jungkook's throat feels dry.

"it's you, isn't it? you're her air."

zion falls asleep on the drive home.

when you arrive at jungkook's, you carry zion in while jungkook carries your bags. jungkook's place is tidy and you can tell he spent more effort into making it more aesthetically appealing for you. he took out scented candles and prepared towels and slippers for you by the bed. the studio looks more spacious in general.. you wonder what changed but you're also too exhausted to care.

"wanna do take out for dinner?"

"sure," you say as you place zion on the bed. "i'll probably wake him up in an hour. did you see how social he was with the interns? felt like he was about to run away and marry one of them."

jungkook snorts. "i'm guessing zion hasn't told you about his daycare girlfriend yet, huh?"

your eyes widen.

your heart drops.

"he has a what?"

jungkook bursts into laughter. "oh my god! ___, y-your face! god, you're such a mom now. this is so crazy..."

you attack jungkook. hitting his chest and tickling his underarms. "are you kidding me? don't joke about him it like that! my heart literally—"

"you honestly think i would let my son have a girlfriend before i get mine back?"

you pause.

"you're annoying."

jungkook laughs even harder. "i know! too bad you had a baby with me."

you roll your eyes at him. then, he tugs you close and sways you back and forth. "don't be mad. you're just hungry. grab my phone and order dinner."

pushing him away, you head over to the kitchen island where he left his phone. taking it, you stare at the lock screen. it's a picture of you and zion.

"what's your password?"

"hasn't changed."

oh.

okay..

you feel your heart race as you type in your birthdate.

jungkook watches and as you scroll through his phone. as you choose a restaurant, countless notifications begin to ring in from his groupchat with his friends.

"jungkook, your friends are texting—"

"ignore it. i already told them i'm not coming," he says, as he ties his already neat living room. "you're ordering us korean food, right? can you get me some—"

"it's yoongi's goodbye party... isn't that important?"

jungkook whines. "he'll be back! i don't get why he has to have a party."

"he's leaving for 1 year? dude, this is important!" you urge him, walking over and passing him his phone. "you're going! it's just one night. zion and i are fine here."

"... i don't want to go. i want to be home with you."

"i'll be here when you get back," you laugh. "and is this about yoongi's girlfriend? damn, he really said fuck long distance."

jungkook sighs. "at least him and his girl are together. feels like we're ldr—"

"not everything is about you, jungkook." you tease. "come on! go be a guy and have fun with your friends. tell yoongi i'm happy for him."

truth be told, you've always liked jungkook's friends. they were always so kind and soft-spoken. the chaotic ones like jimin and taehyung are single handedly zion's favourites. yours are the hyungs... yoongi especially.

"what?" jungkook scoffs. "jealous? your precious yoongi is in love with someone else."

"yes," you play along. "completely heartbroken, actually. wanna be my rebound?"

jungkook's gaze lowers.

"i hate that. don't say shit like that again."

you laugh hard, trying to lighten the mood. you make crying faces at jungkook and tease him. he ignores you, heading to the bathroom to get ready. you annoy him as he begins to get ready. he stays silent, letting you act cute. at one point, you sit on the sink and block him for seeing his reflection in the mirror. you fix his hair and pinch his cheeks. then, you kiss him and smile against his lips when he kisses you back.

when he gets carried away with the kiss, you jump off the sink and practically push him out the door. he asks for one kiss goodbye and you give in. jungkook promises to be home soon and tells you that tomorrow you guys should go to the aquarium or something. you agree and continue to push him out the door.

he stalls.

you laugh and get annoyed.

he kisses you one more time before really, truly, and finally going.

jungkook's mission is to show up, drink whatever shots they give him, and hurry home to you. he'll take the hits and swallow every raging question they have about your weird on-and-off-again relationship. he'll take the commentary and he'll soak in the empathy his friends water him in. he'll get irritated when they question why you're taking so long to get back together with him and he'll probably cry on the way home... doesn't matter though because this time, he'll come home to you.

jungkook wouldn't have it any other way.

1am is when jungkook comes home.

you wake up to him unlocking the door and stumbling to the bathroom. he manages to shower and you giggle at the moments he bangs into things and the whines follow. shortly, he makes his way to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water.

sneaking out of bed, you open his nearby closet and grab a shirt for him.

that's right.

he's tipsy, freshly showered, and shirtless.

the dream, right?

"jungkook, here—"

"oh my god."

sleepily, you squint at him. "what?"

"you're so pretty."

sighing, you shove his shirt to his chest. he giggles, taking the shirt and thanking you. he puts it on and continues to drink more water. you look around his counters and spot his medicine tray. walking over, you search and find medicine to help with the obvious hangover to come. handing it to him, he smiles at you sleepily and takes it.

as he swallows the medicine, you rub your eyes and wake up a bit more.

"your mom came by."

jungkook groans. "and what? did she nag you to tell me to eat my meals?"

you snort, hitting his shoulder. "she told me to hurry up and marry you."

jungkook chuckles.

"for once, i agree with my mom."

"yeah?"

"yeah."

jungkook moves closer to you and stretches his neck. he looks for zion and furrows his eyebrows in confusion when he realizes zion is no where to be found.

"hey ___... where's our son?"

"your mom took him after dinner. he's sleeping over. said to pick him up whenever," you explain. "she said to rest and get married or something.”

"oh," jungkook yawns. "is that it? are we getting married tomorrow?"

you can't help but play along. smirking, you tell him; "you'd like that a lot, wouldn't you?"

jungkook chuckles. "i'd like you to quit your job more actually."

"wow! are you this drunk?" you giggle. "mad brave for saying that."

he glares at you. "i make enough to support all of us. you're unhappy with the firm? quit and take your time looking for a new one. quit being a lawyer for all i care. start your own firm and use my card to pay for it. i don't care."

gasping, your cheeks flush red. "you're so fucking drunk."

"i'm not drunk."

"right," you yield. "if you were drunk, you'd be trying to have sex with me right now."

he squints at you. "drunk sex isn't my favourite."

slightly offended and surprised, you ask, "really? what's your favourite then?"

without hestiation, jungkook answers you.

"morning sex."

"really?"

"i love waking up next to you. i love how easy it is... don't get me wrong, the freaky shit we do is great! i just think the laziness and warmth of morning sex between us is like.. 100 times more intimate and i miss that, you know? i miss being close to you."

jungkook's confession moves you in a way that you've never expected his words to. sure, he says things that throw you off... but you've never known about this. no wonder he was always so adamant on morning sex all these years. honestly, he probably impregnated you with zion during one of those morning sex sessions. it slipped your mind though... and maybe that's exactly it. he's right. morning sex has always been effortless and natural between you two. it's always been easy and so fucking good.

you miss it too.

then, jungkook say another thing.

“i also miss coffee in the morning with you.”

“where did that come from?”

“i bought a nespresso.”

huffing, you make a confession. “ohh.. i don’t drink much coffee these days. don’t know if i even like it anymore.”

“i know,” he tells you, eyes glossy. “when did you stop?”

for some reason, you have a gut feeling he isn’t talking about coffee anymore… and it stings. you aren’t too sure of what to say or do… so you make the most of it and you redirect the conversation.

“did something change in here, by the way?” you ask, looking around. “it feels different.”

jungkook thinks for a moment.

“i got rid of a drawer… emptied it cos the clothes inside went to your place.”

“ohh…” you snicker. “that’s… yeah—“

out of nowhere, jungkook blurts; “i love you a lot.”

you nod. “i love you a lot too.”

“___, i hate being broken up with you,” he laughs. “it’s the worst. like, it’s not even that it’s exhausting… it’s that… it’s so sad. i just.. i don’t get it, you know? loving you is the easiest thing but to understand this fucking mess? i don’t… i don’t get it. i’m afraid i never will. ___, what am i supposed to do?”

“i don’t know either,” you choke out. “i’m sorry.”

defeated, he sighs.

“i know. it’s okay… i don’t blame you. plus, i’ve been doing pretty good with the whole winning you back thing, right?”

you laugh.

he does too.

then, a silence falls upon you two. it’s nothing intense or tense for that matter… just a little comforting. to simply soak in each others presence is another blessing jungkook is thankful for.

"can i ask you something else?" jungkook inches closer to you. you let him. soon, his hands are on top of yours and he's standing right in front of you.

looking up at him, you tilt your head and offer a soft smile.

"are we over?" he asks, voice shaking. "are we really over? cos it doesn't feel like it."

"what does over mean?" you ask in return.

he shakes his head at you. "what’s up with lawyers and avoiding questions? fuck, ___… don't change the subject."

"i'm not changing the subject," you defend yourself. "i'm asking you... what does over mean to you?"

jungkook doesn't have an answer.

tongue-tied, the best he can do is say; "whatever over means... it's not this. it's not us... and honestly? if you don't know what it means... then it's not over. we're not really over. yay."

"yay?"

"shut up." he hisses. "i'm tired. i love you. i'm sad my mom took zion. i wanted us to wake up as a family."

you pout, instantly feeling like a horrible person for giving zion away so easily to his grandma. "awh, poor daddy."

jungkook rubs his eyes, pretending to cry. you laugh, shoving him playfully. he joins your laughter before sighing deeply.

"the guys miss you."

for some reason, these 4 words make your heart ache.

"i miss them too."

"miss them enough to get back together with me?" jungkook attempts, wiggling his eyebrows. "yoongi says if his girlfriend dumps him and you never get back together with me... he'll come in and steal you from me. he said he can't wait to be zion's step-dad."

you laugh for the nth time.

"it's not funny," jungkook cries. "i almost punched my best friend cos i was so pissed."

you aren't worried in the slightest. jungkook's friends have always been good at handling him and because they're good at handling him.. they know exactly how much to push and pull before he acts a certain way.

"you're a good dad," you admit to him. taking his hand, you rub your thumbs against his skin. he looks at you lovingly, more than ready to believe whatever you have to say to him.

"you're always the first to zion's events and always know how to put him to sleep. he asks for you more than you know. i never thought that the whole 'my dad is my hero' thing was real until you two bonded. he copies everything you do and everything you are. he's kind and thoughtful. he's funny in ways that take away my exhaustion. jungkook, you are the best dad there is. i don't say thank you enough for doing everything you do for zion. i appreciate you, truly. you're the best thing to have ever happened in my life. truth is, i don't think i could have anyone else's babies. you're it."

right then and there, jungkook feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders. he isn't sure if he has completely sobered up or if it's because of everything you just said.

he then dips his head low and you tiptoe to kiss him.

against your lips, he smiles and murmurs;

"we're so not over."

when jungkook wakes up, you're naked.

you climb onto him, laughing as he rubs his eyes dramatically to make sure this isn't a dream. as you throw your head back, he places his hands around your back and pushes your body close. he kisses your breasts to up your neck. then finally, your lips.

it's slow and so fucking french.

bonjour, mon amour.

it doesn't take long for jungkook to take his shirt off and slide out of his shorts and underwear. without warning, you slip his dick inside of you. it's easy. his morning wood has not and did not disappoint.

inside you, he moans at the feeling.

so soft.

so tight.

so fucking good.

you place your hands on top of his lower abdomen to stabilize the way you grind on him. as his dick is inside of you, you feel it twitch and harden with each second you grind yourself on him. harder and harder, jungkook grunts at the sight of your pretty folds just smashing and leaking all over him.

as you lose your breath, you bring your hands back. placing them on his upper thighs, you take this opportunity to ride him sensually. moving your hips back and forth (and a little up and down), jungkook watches as his entire cock is being eaten up by you. god, he loves the view. he places his hands on your waist, helping and guiding the way you move.

you moan.

"f-fuck... feels so good, jungkook. you're so big. so fucking b-big—a-ahh! ah, ah, ahhh.. f-fuck!"

jungkook rubs your clit.

his eyebrows furrowed, eyes on you, and his mouth is slightly agape. he's so into it. he loves the way you're reacting to his touch and he loves the way your pussy clenches to his cock.

“prettiest cunt,” he pants. “h-holy shit. so fucking swollen. look at that! a-arghhh.. my pretty woman, ohhh! f-fuck, i love you.”

“i l-love you too, honey.”

jungkook loves the way you say it. it makes him feel some type of way.. his stomach twists and turns. he feels like his dick is about to explode.

after a few moments, you feel yourself approaching your climax. fuck, he was right... morning sex was easy. at this pace, he could easily drag this... or he could let you cum and do it over and over again.

just when you're about to tell him you're close, he takes a hold of you and switches. jungkook rolls you to your back and keeps himself inside you while doing so. towering over you, you giggle at the position change.

"what? a naked woman on top of you wasn't enough?"

he rolls his eyes.

"morning sex is my favourite," jungkook grunts. "let me have this."

you smile at him. "whatever... i was close, just so you know. now you have to start over. i feel like i lost the high."

jungkook laughs before leaning in and kissing you. he kisses you so fucking good you squeeze his ass. in response, he rolls his hips, digging himself deeper in you. you moan and he takes the opportunity to kiss your neck. bringing his kisses to the back of your ear, he hums; "that's okay, honey. i can show you what devotion is."

jungkook is no liar.

he does exactly as he says.

he fucks you like he's missed you for years. he knows when to drag out the orgasm and when to give it to you. he fucks you with your legs over his shoulders. he fucks you doggy style, hitting inside you so deep... he lets you ride him again and this time, he goes crazy with groping your breasts and playing with your nipples.

morning sex with jungkook is everything you remembered and more. it was warm and easy. it was cozy, sloppy, and messy at the same time... but it felt good. to wake up beside him and have him right away... yeah. it felt good.

to be able to laugh and kiss beneath the sheets. to be tangled with one another and greeted by the gentle sunlight. to be together and to feel the love between you two… well, it feels like home.

jungkook cums a whopping 3 times and prioritizes your 5 leg-shaking orgasms.

when you tell him you want to suck his dick to even the score, he jokes and tells you that he has jerked off to your selfies almost every day for the past week. you tell him he’s gross and if that was the case; it would've been better to film a sex tape or something.

jungkook laughs and reminds you that he has the baby monitor on. he'll just watch the playback when he misses you.

disgusted (and a little wet), you then take his phone from the nightstand and give it to him. you lay underneath him, gesturing him to go on top on you. there, he places his dick on your lips. you kiss it, holding the length with your small hands. jungkook cums almost 3 minutes into the hand/blow job (loser alert). quickly, he takes a picture of his cum over your face.

"there," you say, licking the cum off. "you have the baby monitor sex tape and that picture. jerk off all you want... we're even now."

"no need," jungkook laughs. "you're here for a week or so, honey."

the day passes by with a quick shower (together) and brunch. he cooks his heart-shaped pancakes and you cut up fruit. you two sit and watch the accidental sex tape you two made through the baby monitor and laugh at how stupid you two look.

when you two finish, you clean up and get ready to pick up zion together. with plans to cafe hop, jungkook opts to drive and take his car. you agree and follow through.

as he starts the engine and gets to driving, the sun shines at his face. he squints.

"can you get my sunglasses, please? they're in there," jungkook points at the glove compartment. you nod and open it. easily, you find jungkook's sunglasses and hand it to him.

as he puts it on and as you're about to shut the glove compartment, you see it.

tiffany & co

jungkook does a double take. then, he decides... fuck it.

"do you want to see it?" he asks, trying to decipher if you were about to freak out or not.

instead, you purse your lips and take a deep breath through your nose in.

"it's yours," jungkook adds. "do you want to put it on? for fun or whatever?"

"maybe not today," you tell him with a gentle tone. though, truth be told, you were curious... but you didn't want to feed in and wear the ring unless you were ready to actually marry him. plus, where's the magic if you look at the ring right now?

"someday?"

"someday."

he'll take that.

jungkook reaches for your hand and you give it to him. he kisses it before placing his hand on your thigh. you feel so high school but it's also such a relief.

he continues to drive and you think about it.

you think about everything... how he has and will be the only man you've ever love(d). how you can't see anyone else being the father of your child(ren). how when you think of home, you only see him. how complicated you've been and how patient he's been... and it's then, at exactly 8 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days when the feeling sinks in.

then, you think about it some more.

you really think about it..

by the end of the car ride, you know.

you know.

[donaweasley]

Pale Blue Midnights

Pairing: MCU!Loki x Fem!Reader

Plot:

I, too, did a pollen story! That’s it. That’s the plot! 😆Except that it’s not exactly pollen but something else but ultimately strange flowers are at play. Well, simply put, it’s sm.u.t with a plot.

Warnings: Sm.u.tttttttttttt

Read time: ~32 mins

Enjoy half an hour of pure se.xua.l pleasure with the god of mischief!! 😉😏🫠 MINORS: Don’t you dare peek!! 🤨

“Careful now!” She warned Loki in a low but stern voice. “The last time Banner went on an expedition like this, he accidentally smelled a flower and…”

“And what?” Loki would never admit but he was half scared of even hearing the consequences.

“Well, … let’s just say that Nat and he didn’t get out of the room for three days straight!” She concluded with a chuckle.

Loki’s brows almost touched his hairline at the realisation. A part of him - the wild spirited part - immediately conjured up a forbidden image of himself tangled in sheets with his current mission partner. An image that had often haunted him in the darkness of the nights when his heart was restless or when his body yearned for her. This mischievous side now secretly wished to find an aphrodisiac that would put them in a similar situation.

But the logical side of him was scared to death. He knew that it would not be wise to be trapped in such a situation, not with the woman who trusted him with her life, the woman who addressed him as her BFF - a sweet but woefully distasteful Midgardian vocable, as he liked to put it.

A joke about Romanoff and Banner danced on the tip of his tongue but he dared not utter it lest it should come back and bite him in his royal arse.

Both of them were wearing safety suits, masks, safety goggles and gloves. So, there was almost zero chance of any contact with any toxic organism or pollen. But with ‘Mischief’ being his middle name, who knew what he might land up in!

He decided to divert the topic. “Why are we doing this again?”

“For the same reason we humans have been exploring Mars,” his mission partner answered without looking at him. “And because it’s better than running around and knocking people out or killing them,” she added with a smile. “Sometimes I get so tired of it!”

“Well,” Loki replied with a shrug, “that is the real fun!”

“Hmm,” the woman was deeply engaged in investigating a pale-looking, small blue flower that bloomed in bunches on a small plant.

“Found something interesting?” Loki waddled through the tall grass and weeds to where his partner was.

“Yeah, look at these…” Her attention was still robbed by the flowers. “I think I have seen them somewhere. They look very familiar. But…”

“They look harmless,” Loki extended a hand to examine a flower. The bottom of the pedicle was covered in what looked like tiny hairs that stuck to his glove. He tried to pull the flower off of him with his other hand but they just stuck to the other glove. No matter how hard he jerked his hand, the flower just would not come off.

Giving up with a sigh, he started to remove a glove.

“Don’t!” His teammate warned him once again.

“I am a god! These frail Midgardian things do not affect me.”

Before she could protest, he had already pinched the pedicle. What followed was a hiss, accompanied by a small jump, and a set of bleeding thumb and forefinger. What had appeared to be harmless hair on the stem, turned out to be a wrap of fine thorns.

“Damn!” Loki threw the flower to the ground.

“Damn you, you idiot!” His partner cursed him. “One day you’re going to get yourself killed because of your overconfidence!”

The said god shot her a deathly glare but it went totally ignored as she was busy squeezing the blood out of his wound.

“Do you feel anything pricking inside?” She asked. Concern veiled her face and wrapped itself around her throat.

It was her softness, her caring nature that always knocked the wind out of him. And it did so again. Loki whispered a soft ‘No’ as his eyes fixated on her countenance and her actions.

“Are you sure? Don’t hide your discomfort behind your ego.” A panicked (Y/N) pulled her mask down, and raised his fingers to her lips to gently suck the blood from the cuts one by one.

A shudder trembled down Loki’s body. Thankfully, she was too busy worrying about him to notice his wide eyes, dilated pupils and flushed face.

With a sudden jerk, Loki pulled his hand away from her. “I’m fine,” he huffed.

“Well, there is nothing to be disgusted about. The saliva kills any germs that might be lingering on your cut.” Though she narrowed her eyes in mock anger she certainly sounded hurt.

“I never said it was disgusting!” He protested.

“But your action said so!”

“I pulled away because-” How could Loki explain that he had to pull his hand away because her actions were doing unspeakable things to him!

With a frown, she silently waited for an explanation.

“Because I did not want you to accidentally swallow any poison or anything,” he concluded in a tone that was much softer than where he had left.

This time, it was her turn to feel butterflies in her stomach. Pushing all rosy thoughts down because c’mon!, the charming god of mischief could never like her back, she pulled her mask up along with her professional demeanour.

“Let’s finish this before you get yourself into more trouble,” she mumbled, and continued down the trail that they had taken before the blue flowers so temptingly distracted them.

—-

Loki woke up in the middle of the night to find himself covered in sweat, with his heart beating thunderously. At first he feared that it might be the effects of the flower that had pierced its thorns in him not many hours ago. But as the fog of sleep gradually evaporated, the reason became embarrassingly clear to him.

It was not any fever or infection that woke him up. The indecent scene that had popped up in his mind during the expedition, regarding his teammate, had morphed itself into a vivid dream, and had engulfed all his senses.

They were in the midst of a meadow. And while he knew that they should have been busy examining flowers, they were far, far from it. Pale blue flowers surrounded them, as if witnessing and spurring them on. And them?

Well, Loki was lying on the moist grass, the soft sun caressing the pale, sweat-glistened skin of his naked back. His mouth was busy sucking the slender neck of his teammate who was writhing beneath him in a stark state of nature, while his hands pinned her arms down to the ground.

Her bare legs had wrapped themselves around his own as he kept on rubbing himself against her plush wet folds, trying to find his release and hers. Their moans echoed in the trees encircling the meadow. The sky watched as he flipped them over. The wind tickled their aroused skins as she sat atop him like a queen perched atop her throne, and looked into his eyes like a huntress staring down at her prey. Loki’s throat went dry when she brought his hands up to her breasts. And when she started moving her hips - oh, the way she moved, like a dancer with a murderous intent - the grunt that left the sorcerer’s throat told the entire world of his pleasures…

These kinds of dreams about her weren't new to him, true, but this one was so detailed and realistic that he still could not wrap his head around what he saw. He had no idea his mind had the capability of conjuring up such a thing.

After helping himself to some water and breathing deeply to calm his nerves, the sorcerer laid down to try and get some sleep. But glimpses from his recent virtual activity kept flashing before him until he could fall asleep again, and then taunted him a little more after that, too.

—-

The next morning, after the entire team had almost finished their breakfast, (Y/N) pulled Wanda to a corner.

Hesitation was etched on her face as she fidgeted with the edges of her phone and looked around nervously.

After a little nudge of encouragement from the redhead, she finally asked but with a shaky voice, "Have you…have you ever had…uhm…dirt- uhm… indecent dreams about your…your coworker?"

Wanda's eyes widened at the question and a slender hand flew to her mouth to cover the prominent O and the giggle that was about to follow.

"Why, who did you dream about?"

Before the other person could answer, another woman slid into the conversation.

"Loki," Natasha confidently threw her answer to the duo.

"Shhh! Shh!" A panicked (Y/N) tried to keep things down.

Wanda's eyes became wider, if that was even possible. "And how do you know?"

"She has been fumbling and stammering around him since this morning. At first I thought it was her usual crush thing but heightened. But then I heard this question, and everything just…clicked!" She snapped her fingers and winked.

“I don’t have a crush on him!” (Y/N) protested in a hushed voice.

“You do!”

“You do!”

Both her friends opposed simultaneously.

Defeated, she hid her face in her hands, and mumbled almost incoherently, “Am I that obvious?”

“Well,” Natasha began, “your state of heart is as clear as a dazzling day to everyone in the compound.”

(Y/N) groaned.

“But not to Loki,” the spy added.

This made the former peek through her fingers.

“Yeah,” Wanda chimed in, “he’s a bit thick in the matters of the heart.”

“So, you’re saying he doesn’t know yet?” (Y/N) sat up straight.

Seeing her spirits, Romanoff rolled her eyes while a little red glow sizzled on Wanda’s fingertips. “Well, I can change that,” she lifted her hand and swirled her fingers.

“Or maybe,” Natasha joined, “I can go up to him and tell him everything to his face.”

“No!”

“Then tell him yourself.”

“No!”

“Coward!”

“M not!”

“Whatever! Just tell us about this “indecent” dream you saw, and we'll try not to pester you,” Nat tried a bargain.

"And that's why I did not want to tell you!" (Y/N) whisper-shouted.

“All the details, please!” Wanda’s face broke into a wide grin.

—

It took her more than just words to shake her friends off. They were having more fun watching her drown in sheer embarrassment than they were interested in listening to her story. In the end, however, she succeeded in keeping her secret to herself.

Grinning to herself, she was walking back to her room when she almost collided with someone. She did not need to look up to see who the tall person was. His scent engulfed her. As soon as it hit her nostrils, the air around her seemed to change into a feverish smoke.

“Sorry!” A sheepish smile was all that she could afford.

“It is alright. I was not looking either,” the (in)famous SilverTongue stammered through his words.

One look at her brought back all the scenes from his latest dream in technicolour, and he had to cough the awkwardness down his throat. It was only after his discomfort subsided that he noticed the red cheeks and ears of the other person.

“Are you feeling unwell?” His eyebrows knit together.

“What?”

“You look…flushed!...Do you have a fever?” Loki placed the back of his hand to her forehead.

Only the heavens knew the strength it took her to suppress the moan that threatened to escape her! Closing her eyes, she bit her lips to forbid any sound from escaping her.

Little did she know that this struggle of hers was making things difficult for the person in front of her. Loki removed his hand quicker than he had planned.

“You should… you should get yourself checked,” he advised. “Who knows what bug you might have caught yesterday.”

“I’m fine, really,” she cleared her throat. “Just… could not sleep well. I think I shall take a nap. Should be feeling fine by evening!”

Loki hummed in agreement.

“Are you well?” She asked after some hesitation.

“Yes! Why do you ask?”

“Well, you look… how do I put it? It’s as if some thought has been consuming you. You’re not your usual confident, mischievous self today. You okay?”

The trickster was surprised at how well she could read him. Almost choking with joy, he nodded, “I am fine. There is something going on in my head, yes. But it is nothing to worry about.”

“Good. Well then, I shall go get some rest.”

With a smile, they went their separate ways, each grinning like an idiot and praying that the other person does not know about it.

—-

Y/N was sitting by the window, reading a book when the knock on her door startled her. Keeping the book on the nearest table, she almost jogged towards the door to open it. On the other side stood her favourite teammate - the raven-haired god from outer space.

“Wanda told me everything,” he declared in a deep baritone. “Romanoff told me about the dreams you are having. Tell me,” he took two steps inside, making a stunned Y/N walk backwards, “do you dream about me often? Hmm? This innocent face of yours… these naive-looking eyes of yours… Oh! And all the dirty thoughts they carry! Tell me, pet, do you often fantasise filthy things about me?”

He had already won the game when he started speaking in that rich voice. And when he called her “pet”, she could not help but clench her muscles  and rub her thighs together.

Loki did not fail to notice that. When she did not respond but simply stared at him open-mouthed, he slowly nudged her chin to close her mouth, only to tantalisingly swipe his thumb across her bottom lip.

“Do you?” This time, his question was breathed upon her mouth.

“No!” She managed to croak.

Loki narrowed his eyes towards her, as though disbelieving her. It worked, for the truth spurted out of her in the form of a whimper.

“Yes.”

“Yes?* He asked again like a big cat playing its last game with its prey.

“Yes!” She breathed.

“Oh my poor little darling!” Loki purred. “You should have told me sooner. I would have loved to end your misery!”

With these words, he bent down to suck the side of her neck and mark her. When he released the bruised skin, his lips followed the trail of her jawline until they reached her chin. Taking it gently between his teeth for a while, he licked a long stripe from the hollow of her neck up to her panting lips.

“Do you touch yourself when you think of me?” His hot breath on her earlobes seemed to take the life out of her.

She did not want to reveal her secrets before him and yet her hazy mind kept betraying her.

“Yes!” She confessed.

“Mmh! Had thought so!” He growled. “Show me!”

“I-I… no… No, I can't!” Her face went beet red.

“Well then… I shall find out for myself. Do you touch yourself here?”

His long fingers found their way beneath the hem of her shorts to her inner thighs. There, they brushed the skin very lightly, stoking the fire within her core.

“Or is it here?” His fingers trailed upwards. 

“Here?” His slender, sinful fingers skimmed the surface of her bare mound while carefully avoiding the very spot that had her squirming.

“Loki!!” Her whimper was met with a triumphant smirk.

“What? I am only trying to find out where you touch yourself. Am I not on the right path?”

“Please!!” Damn! She was begging, against all the protests of her now-moderately sane mind.

“‘Please’ what, pet?” His lips were brushing the shell of her ear. “Tell me what you want from me. I am a benevolent god. I shall not deny you of your pleas. Not when you squirm and beg like that!”

Her tongue tried to hold itself but her body was on fire. It was only by giving in that she could find release from this torment.

She screwed her eyes shut. “Please touch me, Loki!”

“Well, I am touching you.” Loki continued his sweet, smooth torture. “Is there anywhere specific that you want me to touch, darling?”

Damn this god of being an asshole!!!

This time she looked up in his eyes, and spoke with a lewd confidence, “Touch my cunt, Loki. Make me cum.”

The growl that escaped him was enough to take her to the peak. As nimble fingers entered her, the god’s eye became hooded and his mouth parted, releasing a sigh that landed on her mouth, only to be chased by his hungry lips on them.

They buried their moans in the other's mouth. When Loki pushed her against the nearest wall, she tried to pull him closer. But Loki freed himself out of her hold. Worried, she opened her eyes to find the god slowly kneeling before her. Staring deep into her eyes, he pulled her shorts down with him. And when his knees landed on the floor, so did her shorts.

Sitting face-to-face with her dripping folds, he gently stroked his fingers along the length of her left thigh, all the way down to her calf. Slowly, he picked the leg up, and put it on his shoulder. Licking his lips in the most sultry way she could have imagined, he buried his face between her legs.

The delightful scream that forced itself out her throat was probably heard by all inmates of the compound. But that did not stop Loki from exploring every corner of his delicious treasure.

A loud knock on her door made her spring out of the moment.

“Maybe they did hear my scream,” she thought “Shit! But wait…what…the fuck?”

Loki was nowhere around. She was lying on the bed, her side-pillow tucked in tight between her legs.

So, was that all…another dream?

The knock on the door had now transformed into banging.

“Are you alright in there?” It was Steve’s voice. “Why did you scream?”

So, I had actually screamed while dreaming?? Shit! Fucking shit!!

“(Y/N), I’m going to come inside.” Steve was absolutely worried!

No no no!! He cannot see me in this mess! I shan’t be able to face anyone again!

“I’m fine, Steve!” She shouted back. “I…uh…I thought I saw a spider, and I screamed. It was only a small bug.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Absolutely fine! Just got a silly little scare.” She forced a laugh.

“Fine then. I’m gonna…go” Steve sighed in relief although his words sounded hesitant.

“Yup! See you later!”

When she was sure she heard the captain walk away, she let out a long breath.

“Fuck! What the hell is happening? Why do I-”

Realisation hit her like a brick. It had all begun after their return from the plant-hunt.

“Those blue flowers…d-did they really affect me? … Did they affect Loki? He was the one who was actually pricked!” The scenes from that fateful day kept unfolding in her mind. “Damn! Is that why he has been behaving awkwardly? ... But wait, if this flower is indeed an aphrodisiac, why am I having troubles only around Loki? Is it because I like him or…is it because we were both affected by the same flower? Fuck! I must find out.”

—-

At dinner, (Y/N) observed Loki closely. Well, she had always “observed” him rather closely but this time it was more like analysing a target. She realised that he was fine with the rest of the team - even with the other women - but when around her, he fidgeted a lot. Even his glances towards her were hesitant. And yes! He did avoid physical contact - even the slightest possible brush of their little fingers.

There was definitely something going on.

“Sam,” her sudden approach startled the soldier who was busy looking for dessert in the fridge. “Hold my hand.”

“What?”

“Hold my hand!”

“But why?” He looked at her as if she had grown two heads.

“Just … I need to test a theory.”

A smirk surfaced on his mouth. “I knew you’d warm up to me one day.”

But the glare that he received for an answer made him quickly take his words back. “Just kidding! You know that well, don’t you!”

Sam curled his fingers gently around her extended arm.

“What now?” He asked curiously.

Eyebrows knit together, her eyes darted across the tiled floor, trying hard to gauge her body’s reaction. Nothing; she felt nothing.

Pursing her lips, she hummed. “Well, thank you, Sam!” With a pat on his upper arm, she walked off, leaving the man a handful of questions in his mind.

So, her theory was correct: it was only Loki who was affecting her. And apparently, it was only her affecting the god. She had been training with others; she felt nothing. Loki had been training with everyone else with ease. But when they were paired together, the air that they breathed seemed to turn into an erotic enchantment. The discomfort was evident on both their faces. So much that neither could focus during the session, thus resulting in a quick end to their sparring.

Once everyone had started retiring for the day, she decided to put her plan into action. She had wanted to stay behind or follow Loki down whichever corridor or floor he took; whatever it took to find him alone and confront him.

It had almost worked. Almost. But with Steve in the middle of a serious conversation with her, all she could do was watch out of the corner of her eye as the trickster walked out of the sitting area. Now, had it been anybody else, she could have excused herself without a second thought; she would have amended for it later. But this man - the captain - held an entirely different zone of respect in her heart. Never in her life could she interrupt him.

Luckily for her, the conversation ended soon enough - just in time for her to jog down the corridor where Loki resided but only to catch a glimpse of him as he disappeared into his room.

Damn!

But she had enough! She must know!

Cursing under her breath, she marched determinedly up to his doorstep.

But that was it.

That was where her confidence melted into a puddle. This was not any man that she had to talk to. This wasn’t Bruce or Tony with whom she could discuss the most embarrassing subject and yet turn everything into logic and science. No! This was the biggest crush of her life, staggering on the verge of becoming - perhaps - the love of her life! And she was going to ask him if he has been having filthy dreams about her just as she has been having about him! Could it be any more complicated!!

Fiddling with her fingers, she stood for a while in front of the closed door, replaying the plan over and over again in her head.

Okay. This is it. I’m going to do it. I’m going to ask him, and I’m going to solve this mystery once and for-

The door swung open before she could even tap on it! Loki stood at the other end with his brows scrunched up.

Her first instinct was to run. But she stood her ground. Afterall, she had some self-respect, right?

“You have been standing there for quite some time now,” Loki stated but it sounded more like a question.

“Well, I… I was…just passing by.” That weird, sheepish smile appeared on her face again.

Loki sighed. “First, they call me the God of Lies for a reason. And second, your feet are eclipsing the light from the corridor thus making them clearly visible under the door.”

Hanging her head low, she let out a long sigh. “You got me!”

If only she had seen the smile that broke out on Loki’s divine countenance. Or maybe it was good that she had not, for it might have increased her desires even more. They had already started weaving themselves in every cell of her body as soon as her eyes had landed on the god.

“Now, will you tell me what is going on or should I read your mind?” Loki urged.

She was surprised by his confidence! He sounded nothing like the person who had returned with her from the expedition.

Has the affects of the flower worn off of him?

“Loki, I need your help!” She tried to hold his hand in desperation, only to find her own pass through thin air with a green glimmer.

Her plan was to check Loki’s pulse in the guise of holding his hand for help. Had his heart rate been abnormally high, she would have asserted her doubts, and would have straightforwardly asked him if he had been having weird dreams.

What she never expected was to be met with an illusion. The Loki at the door now frowned in worry as she looked up at him in confusion.

Why would Loki create an illusion for talking to me? Why- Wait…

As she walked right through the facade, she saw it all evaporating, eventually revealing the real Loki who was standing near his writing desk. Distress was clearly written on his face. He looked so helpless that all plans and plots vanished from her mind. Her answer was right in front of her. She did not need to play games now.

“You should not be here.” There was an earnest plea in his eyes. “Please, leave!”

The sight of Loki leaning against his writing desk - fingers clenched on the wood so hard that it looked like the desk was going to split in two, face partially covered by hair that was dishevelled from running his hands through it, partially unbuttoned shirt, half-opened mouth and glazed eyes - made her visibly shudder from the electricity coursing through her veins. But that did not keep his desperate words - words which were more like a warning - from reaching her senses. It turned her on and yet worried her.

“Loki, you do not look good. You-you look like you’re in…pain!”

“I told you…” the god’s voice was more strained than before, “you…should not…be here!”

She took two careful steps forward. To avoid anybody else from accidentally walking in, she had softly closed the door behind her. They needed to sort this out between themselves first.

“Loki,” she called soothingly, “if this is about the flower, … you can tell me. … If it helps to know, I…I was…I am…affected by it, too!

The Asgardian’s eyes widened. He swiftly advanced towards her - well, almost did - but quickly retreated back to his safe circle.

“So, you must be-”

“In pain?” She did not let Loki finish his sentence. “Yes! Very much!”

“And,” he continued, “have you done anything to…get rid of it? Or-or soothe it?”

She shook her head slightly. “No.”

A nod, slight for most people to notice, accompanied a whisper of a breath released by Loki.

“And … you are dreaming of…?”

For a short while his question floated between them, searching for an answer. She looked deep into his eyes. Pleadingly. Hoping that he would understand what her tongue was too ashamed to confess.

He probably did. He looked like he did. But he needed assurance, for it seemed too far-fetched for even him to believe that his fantasies could come true in such a miraculous way! He could not be so lucky, could he?

When Loki did not say anything, she decided to say it aloud, all shame be stripped aside.

“You!” She declared. “It is you that I dream of, Loki!”

It took him all his godly strength to hold himself back. But he knew that his resistance was thinning out. The enhanced effects of the flower, her presence in the closed space, and now her confession - everything was making things all the more difficult for him.

“I’m burning for you, Loki!”

And indeed she was! All the things that were triggering the powerful god were affecting this human as well.

Loki inhaled deeply, only to be engulfed in her scent even more.

“I am sorry!” Her lips trembled. Her eyes betrayed her resilience with the first wave of tears. “I know this is all very embarrassing for you. I … I swear, Loki, I never wanted it to be this way! I-”

“I never wanted it to be this way either,” Loki’s words crushed her. Of course, he would never want anything to do with her, not even what could have been a shadow of a romance!

“I had wanted this to be very special,” he continued. “I had wanted to do it right. To court you first, to woo you, to steal a kiss or two from you, and then … and then make you mine.”

His voice was strained, just like before. But his eyes were feral now.

Damn, they scorched her! Loki’s words were killing her!! But her lust-driven-yet-dejected mind could not wrap itself around them. None of it made sense. Why would Loki want to court her, kiss her … “make her his” … ? Unless …

Oh!

The realisation left her shocked and elated at the same time. But she needed enough proof to believe it.

“Are you- What are you saying? Why would you- Loki, I think this is not you but the effect of the flower speaking.”

The god laughed. “‘Effect of the flower’? Darling, I have been having all kinds of thoughts about you for years now! Thoughts that would warm your chest with love. Thoughts that would make you blush crimson! … That wretched flower has only heightened it all And made it unbearable!!”

It was all too much to take in. Her state of disarray - limp shoulders, wide eyes and a half-open mouth - told Loki that she had not yet grasped the entirety of the situation.

“Oh darling,” he spoke with hope in his eyes and joy on his lips, “you do not yet know what the flower was, do you?”

She shook her head in a daze.

“It is called ‘Midnight’s Bane’. Or ‘Boon’, as some like to call it. I found out about it in one of our old books from Asgard.” He took a few slow, deliberate steps towards her as he spoke. “It has some … medicinal uses. But it is famous as a catalyst for … midnight’s activities, if you know what I mean.” The smirk that he wore would have made even an unaffected person’s knees go weak. “It does not make two people fall in love, no! The flower simply increases what one already feels for someone. … And if you are dreaming about me, if you want me just the way I want you, then it can mean only one thing.” Loki placed a gentle hand on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered in response. “That you love me … just the way I love you.”

She did not need further convincing. In one swift motion her lips were on his. Her arms had wound themselves around his neck, pulling him as close as possible.

The dam finally broke.

Loki held her face with both hands, greedily devouring every moan and whimper. In the miniscule break that they took to breathe again, they drank in the sight before them, further intoxicating themselves. (Y/N)’s finger’s began making quick work of the remaining closed buttons on Loki’s shirt. But he was impatient. Removing her hold on them, he pulled the cloth over his head.

If it was humanly possible to be more aroused, (Y/N) certainly had hit the next level. Placing a quick but deep kiss on her open mouth, Loki tugged at the hem of her blouse. The lifting of her arms over her head was permission enough for Loki to pull it up and discard it on the floor.

How and when the rest of the clothes got scattered around the room remained a haze. All they remembered later was that it was somewhere between heated kisses and lots of shameless touching.

Loki picked her up by the hips, and sat her on the writing desk. She probably landed on an old open hardbound. Neither cared.

While his mouth worked on her neck and shoulders, eliciting hisses and moans from her, his large hands travelled down her body, taking note of every curve and plateau, until he reached her thighs. There, they rested for a brief moment, kneading the satiny skin beneath his palms, before venturing towards the soft flesh on the inner side. Very slowly, he parted her legs open, and stepped inside. Her immediate reaction was to wrap them around his slender waist. With her bare heels pressing on his bare butts, she nudged him forward until his arousal was pressed against hers.

Both of them groaned loudly. With hooded eyes they looked at each other, trying to seek the obvious consent that had been there right from the beginning. When her hand wrapped around his length to line him up with herself, he almost swooned.

“This is going to hurt,” he warned her.

“I know, and I don’t care. Just take me, Loki! Please! Make me yours.”

He could have come right then simply from her words. With one hand on her back, and the other holding himself, he entered her slowly, passing carefully through the tight wetness.

Loki was aroused like never before, ready to devour the woman sitting brazenly naked in front of him - the love of his life -  and yet, a part of him could never forget to take care of her, to worry about her.

When he had buried himself fully within her, they both rested their heads on the other’s shoulder for a brief moment. It was an outworldly feeling - it seemed like the perfect end to all those years of pining, like the perfect beginning to their story of being together. It felt like the perfect cure to all the burning desire that they had been enduring for the past few days. Most importantly, it felt right. It had never and would have never felt so perfect with anybody else.

(Y/N) patted his backside lightly. As if afraid that he’d hurt her, Loki started moving slowly, carefully. The pace was sensual, romantic but excruciating as well! The drug running in their veins demanded more. Their bodies demanded more.

“Loki, please!”

She did not know what she was asking for but he understood. Steadily but quickly, he accelerated, earning himself sultry moans and breathy chants of his name as rewards. She felt like her body would have given away had Loki’s strong arms not been holding her.

“Oh (Y/N)!”

Hymns of each other’s names and repeated confessions of love brought them closer to release. When his movements started getting sloppy, he reached between  them and placed his thumb on her bundle of nerves. When she cried out and her back arched,he whispered with hot breaths in her ear, “Come with me, love. Please.”

It might have been his ministrations down south on her body or it may have been the way he rasped the word “please”. Some magic worked, and she came crashing down on him, flooding him, drowning him in her ecstasy. That was the final tug on the restraint that Loki had put on himself. He came inside her with a loud moan of her name, surrendering himself to his lust completely.

Thanks to the desk, Loki found some support for his limp body. As they rested on one another and kissed each other feebly, having experienced the most epic orgasms of their lives yet, she eventually came to realise what she had been sitting on. She tried to look but with Loki still buried inside her, it was impossible.

“I think I’m sitting on a book,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Oh?”

The moment he pulled out of her, she whined at the sudden emptiness inside.

Loki laughed. “Do not make the mistake of thinking that I am done with you, love! Give me a few minutes, and I shall fill you up again.”

The filthy look in his eyes, the promise in his voice, and his tender dominance made her walls flutter that very instant. Loki grabbed her butts and lifted her off the desk, while she wrapped her limbs securely around him.

As he carried her to the bed, his eyes landed on the tattered and soaked pages of the book that she had been sitting on. Pausing in his tracks, he tilted his head and smirked.

“What is it?” She asked curiously.

Following his eyes, she found the poor book - an open testament to their raunchy activities - and clicked her tongue.

“Can you fix it?” She looked back at him.

Stealing one look at her, as though accepting her simple challenge, he held her securely with one arm, and extended the other towards the book, reverting its fate with a subtle move of his open fingers. Once the pages were crisp and readable again, (Y/N) understood the cause of his amusement.

Staring back at them from the pages was a hand-drawn picture of the same flower that caused all these “fateful” events. Her eyes swept through the descriptions about the flower.

“Pale Blue Midnight’s Bane”, the title read. In smaller words, it added, “ Also known as Midnight’s Boon”.

Loki chuckled. “We gave the flower what it wanted. Literally.”

It made her laugh. “Well, at least it put an end to years of misery! We should be thanking it.”

“In a way that it likes?” Mischief was sparkling in Loki’s green eyes.

“Exactly my thoughts!” She resonated.

Loki was not gentle this time as he threw her on the bed and hungrily watched her curves jiggle. She was surprised to find that she rather enjoyed being manhandled by the trickster. He hovered over her like a hunter over his prey, and started his assault on her chest.

“Loki?”

“Mmh?” His mouth was full and his tongue busy.

“Shouldn’t we inform Banner about our discovery?”

“Later,” he exhaled right before shutting her up for the moment with a long and deep kiss that made both their heads spin.

***

Taglist!

@huntress-artemis @evelyn-kingsley @dryyoursaltyoceantears @modestlyabsurd @anukulee @eleniblue @foxherder @thesevendeadlycringes @mysterydiz @lloydmustache

[huginsmemory]

Ford's Dreams; Attraction and Asexuality

In Bill's quips in TBOB on what the characters dream about, the quip he had on Ford caught my eye: "Sixer dreams about a pop quiz that asks him "what are you attracted to?" He usually writes "I'm attracted to logic and preparation." Not sure what to call that! Plansexual?". Immediately upon reading it, it made me question the implicit meanings of that small blurb, on Ford's sexuality (as someone whose aroace) and on the potential reason why such a dream was reoccurring, which I've explored below:

Extra addition added (Jan 6 2025)!

The first of two pages in TBOB on Bill's quips on characters dreams; this page includes Ford's, Dippers, Mabel's and Wendy's dream comments.

First of all, there are two types of quips Bill makes about the characters dreams. First, and the main type of comment, are negatively connotated, generally close to or even are nightmares. Dipper, about over hearing his parents fight about divorce, Mabel who has nightmares about waddles dying, Wendy who dreams about her Mom, who died, Stan's about Ford getting stuck in his science fair experiment, and Pacifica about the lumberjack ghost and blood that doesn't wash off her hands. Most of these are things that play off subconscious or conscious fears or grief (or memories in relation to fear or grief). The second type of quip, are goofs; such as Robbie's real hair colour, or Blubs and Durland only dreaming about each other (both on the other page, not depicted). So where does Ford's comment for in? At first glance, Ford's dream quip somewhat comes out as a goof (especially considering the horrible things he's gone through and seen). But for a central, serious character, and considering the context of the book, I really don't think this is a goof, but more of the first type of quip, on darker/nightmare sort of dreams.

But if it's is a nightmare, then why would a pop quiz about what he's attracted to be nightmare material?

First of all, regarding the set up of the dream, a quiz explicitly implies that you are being judged on your answer. There is a rubric for right or wrong answers, and someone, in a higher position of power, often in an academic institution, judges you by this. Ford is a character that's been clearly driven for the good first half of his life by excellency in academic achievement, and this implies that it's very important to him to get the quiz correct, to have the right answer, and that he fears being wrong.

Now on the subject matter of what the quiz entails; the subject of romance and attraction. Regarding canon, romance isn't one we get particularly clear images on with Ford, compared to Stan who flirts and literally goes out on a date during the series. We only really ever get two direct human interactions that could be implied to be considered romantic in nature (sorry fiddauthor's, there isn't anything from Ford's side of things that imply any extra feelings beyond cherished friend; Fiddleford in the other hand...). These are when he speaks to a girl at a dance and gets juice thrown on him, and in Journal 3 on the page that decodes on the page about himself to "LITTLE CATHY WHAT A DREAM HELD HER HAND AND MADE HER SCREAM". (There is also technically the one throw away line about Ford dating a siren in one of the Lost Legends comics, which would be the only time we know of Ford actually being in a romantic relationship; but that's something that never gets elaborated on, and when Dipper says that he's literally reading from the Bill page from Journal 3, so I'm unsure on the weight of such a statement). Compulsory heteronormativity aside as demanded by censors, both the implied attempts don't go well, and in the second one it directly implies Ford's six fingers are directly part of the reason why he's undesirable. Ford clearly deeply struggles with belonging around his 'weirdness'; case in point with the whole page about it in Journal 3. In this case, his bad luck in romance as a teen, possibly as a result of his 'wierdness', continues to alienate him from other people. As a result, a quiz focusing on romance may further remind Ford about his 'wrongness' as he doesn't have the socially expected romantic relationship.

Stanford's author pages in journal 3. The cipher on the right page decodes to what is described in the paragraph above. Note his emphasis on feeling alienated.

However, what's perhaps more telling about it is that the quiz asks what are you attracted too?, which is more sexual than really romantic in nature. And it's telling because what Ford puts down is logic and preparation. These aren't physical attributes as one may assume to answer these questions; neither is it gendered, or even really based on a person, but rather left open as the concepts (ie, he doesn't say someone who is logical and well-prepared). This Bill even jokes about, with 'plan-sexual'. And Ford's answer is not a typical 'male' answer (in the toxic sense, but also, just generally, since people experience sexual attraction) which Bill also notes with the joke. This 'incorrect' answer could be construed as another thing that's wrong with him, especially back in the day; emphasizing again Ford's wrong-ness and alienation.

Not to mention, beyond those two instances described above (interestingly, these occur previous to Ford's falling out with Stan, in which after he highly prioritizes academic achievement) Ford shows no interest in romantic relationships. This disinterest in pursuing romance is contrary to a lot of people who are still workaholics who have significant others/hook-up on the weekend in their meager time off. Ford's general disinterest in romance is also something that others him, with how our society puts so much emphasis on romantic and sexual relationships. And this is something that IMMEDIATELY caught my eye as someone whose within the general ballpark of aroace; there is a huge amount of alienation from society when you are disinterested in sexual/romantic relationships. Especially when toxic masculinity expects you to constantly be horny. So having someone ask you that question of what you are attracted too is awkward, and depending on the audience, socially difficult question to field. And often an answer to that comes out sounding exactly like Ford's, based on personality rather than physical attributes, if you don't decide to come out (not that Ford would know queer jargon anyways). So this question, posed in a quiz, with Ford being quite Ace-coded, would bring up these feelings of alienation, along with those about failure on not having the right 'answer' regarding attractiveness and the failure of not having a girlfriend.

The infamous Billford page in TBOB, of 'one thing led to another'. Also note Ford saying that Bill's "really got it all figured out".

Now, beyond that, we're also reading this in the context of TBOB. Even before the new info in TBOB, Ford openly worshipped Bill; and in TBOB it becomes clear that they certainly had something going on between them (cough, one thing lead to another, cough). This suggests that Ford found Bill attractive in some form of attraction, whether romantic, sexual or queer-platonic-ish. This especially so, considering the answer Ford puts down; logic and preparation. Bill, who corrected and furthered Ford's knowledge, who came to him as a being of pure knowledge (logic), and who helped him plan the portal, who ironically also had other plans of world domination beyond that (preparation). Bill fits the description, even if he's not human, but Ford's not bothered by that, Ford's a freak himself and it's clear in finding that acceptance he's ecstatic (freak4freak). And that attraction, that care Ford had/has for Bill? Now that's something that's horrifying, something that's filled with guilt, terror, and also embarrassment and fear of how others will react; case in point with Ford literally ripping those journal pages out so the others don't know about the extent of his and Bill's relationship, and in TBOB he acknowledges that. And that's not to mention the potential additives of negative emotions from failing to have attraction for the right person, from failing to meet toxic masculinity standards, and the emphasis of being a freak that made him fall for Bill. Now that's emotionally negatively charged for a fucking nightmare.

Like. Fuck. What are you attracted too? The being that I thought was a god of pure knowledge and thought that strung me along like a fish on line with bait of knowledge and companionship, and I ate that bait, hook, line, and sinker, so deep within my belly I fell in love with him; the being that betrayed me, that wants to destroy my world and used me to do it. The being I shouldn't even love in the first place, because you're supposed to love what's normal, but I've never been able to do that as a freak show. The being I've spent half my life hunting down to kill. And now here I am, with this fucking mess of my own making, after threats and torture and the world ending, and some small fucking part of me still loves him.

So, yeah. I don't think that's just a comedy line. I think that's a line that potentially has way more about Ford's feelings of alienation, of his failure to be attracted to the right person, of guilt and fear around his relationship with Bill, and especially so of others perceiving it.

EDIT (05/01/2025): Also for your consideration, as mentioned in the tags by @vespertin-y and @5p4ced-0ut, these DIRECT QUOTES BY FORD IN TBOB. ABOUT WHY ONE WOULD MAKE A DEAL WITH BILL.

All the scenarios listed by Ford apply to himself;

You're at a desperate low? Failing to find, or prove the universal weirdness theorum; but really, truly beneath that, being basically completely alone for all the years since college, and being desperately lonely and seeking affection and acceptance.

Lost something dear to you? A bit more abstract, but Ford's alone, and he's alone because he chose to lose Stan, to seek acceptance through academic achievement. And it's his loneliness that truly drives him to Bill; not academic achievement, even if that's part of the reason. He's trying to fill that void of love and acceptance thats been there since Stan left. That's something that's dear to him that he's lost. Although it could also just be a nod to Bill's magic, in that he can use it to fulfill things.

Throes of all-consuming monomaniacal ambition? Do I need to say anything about this? Ford caused the apocalypse (partly) out of his ambition.

Now of course these all lead up to the very last one: or perhaps you're just attracted to things that hurt you? This heavily implies Ford's felt, as I outlined above, some sort of attraction to Bill.

It's also a strong thing to say about their relationship. What's interesting about this one, is that at the beginning, their relationship wasn't a painful relationship for Ford; codependent as fuck, sure, but no one was actively hurting the other. It wasn't until they began to become jealous and petty with each other when Fiddleford began working that there is resentment and emotional pain, and then there's the big reveal, and all there is of their relationship for Ford is emotional pain and betrayal. In that manner, he wasn't originally attracted to Bill because of masochism in the literal sense; but rather due to rather an attraction built on genuine connection and companionship that ultimately ended horribly.

So basically, the 'attracted to someone that hurts you', is another line that falls under the heavy implication that Ford felt some sort of attraction to Bill; and that Ford struggles with shame and guilt around his attraction to Bill, especially as the comment is actually a lie (a common abuse victim lie) that minimizes their relationship, especially from Bill's side.

But he still says the sentence. So why is he lying/believing he's telling the truth? That comes down to what he's trying to diminish, and the guilt he has around attraction. The sentence, written of course post series when Ford is deeply jaded about Bill and his relationship, is written in a deeply bitter way. And it's a very self-directedly bitter way! Of course the being I fall in love with ends up betraying and hurting me; I never can do anything correctly. By saying that 'he's attracted to pain', he implicitly within the statement blames himself for the abuse, construing it as some way inevitable that this would occur due to his 'wrong' nature, especially around attraction as evident above. This self-blame and 'inevitability' is actually common to those who have low self-esteem and are victims of abuse, which Ford is. Ford already is shown to feel guilt and shame around his attraction to Bill for various reasons, such as the failure to be attracted to the right being, and doubly so with it ending up being an abusive relationship. This self-blame of 'i'm attracted to pain' denies that Ford was seeking genuine connection, and found it in Bill; it construes Bill as always having hurt Ford. Which is untrue! But this does function as a way to suppresses Ford's possible remaining positive emotions he has around Bill (by demonizing him as something horrible, understandable as he's been trying to kill him for 30 years) and also provides Ford an illusion of power over the situation; of course I had and remained in a relationship with Bill because I enjoy pain. It's easier to say (and delude yourself you like it, and you abuser may even encourage that, to avoid the pain) then admit you don't know how to escape, or fear escaping. And I think Ford did just that.

(Also, side note: What's also a kicker is that we are creatures of habit. So relationship dynamics we grow up in, are often ones we tend re-create later in life, because those are dynamics we are comfortable in, even if they are terrible dynamics. But that doesn't mean that it will always, nor have to be recreated. In some way, Ford did this; he recreated a dynamic from his father, in always looking up to Bill, and requiring praise from him to support his self esteem.)

Also, contextually, this negative recount of Bill makes sense as it's functioning as a warning for the reader within the page; informing the reader that no matter what, Bill will hurt you if you make a deal. This embarrassment and shame about Bill is contrary to some readings, in which Ford confesses to having cared about Bill; but this page is early in TBOB! It's before the pages all the rest of the family put in; it's possible this page was added 'before' the rest of the family read TBOB and Ford comes to acceptance with his feelings around Bill.

[pursuitseternal]

Can i get prompt 20 with astarion x f!tav? Maybe she is in her fertile period and very horny or maybe carrying his child and hormones are messing up with her head (idk if u feel comfortable writing about it, i didn't find your rules. If you don't, ok) and Astarion offers his thigh for her to get off :))

“Helpful…”

UA Astarion x f!Reader | Smut Ask Prompts

CW: pregnancy smut

Thirty-six weeks… it’s been. Not that you’re counting. Each day is more taxing than the last… a blissful sort of torture, one you endure with a smile.

Most days.

But, days like today, you question your sanity and doubt your strength.

You couldn’t even count the sum of enemies you slaughtered. You brought down the Chosens of the Dead Three, you massacred an Illithid army….

And now the rapid flutter and kicking in your rounded belly is enough to lay you up for hours. The ache and stretch it is to bring a life into this world takes your literal breath away. Of course it doesn’t help that the child inside is Dhampir… and that its father is equally demanding at times, in different ways.

As you’ve grown heavier, rounder, Astarion has grown more attentive, helping around your cottage in the Underdark. Honestly, you sometimes scratch your head to watch the once selfish, snarky bastard of a Spawn become a snarky, helpful bastard of a Spawn.

There is one way he has relished helping you; the more demand the child inside you places on your body, the more demand your body has on you for… release. Sometimes it makes you cry, how madly you want Astarion to fuck you. Doesn’t matter where or when or for how long.

With that little problem, he’s more than eager to help. The further into your term you get, the worse the ache is, but the more exhausted you are too. Often some days, you just swallow the rage of lust that simmers inside you, but other days, he notices far too easily.

His nostrils flare as you enter your little study. He reclines on the little couch near the fire, the dim light dancing off the brightly colored spines of books around you. Scenting your need, he opens his arms, a familiar invitation to rest against him. You take the last few waddling steps, hands on your knees as you lower your rear to the couch. Your body fills the space between his legs, grimacing as it creaks under you.

Your cheeks are flush with need, and now they burn with embarrassment. “Gods I feel huge,” you bemoan, trying not to make the wooden frame of the couch groan under you again as you shift closer to your Vampiric love. “I can’t wait much longer, love,” you groan, leaning back against the cool hard planes of his torso.

“A few more weeks, and then our little one will be here,” he whispers into your ear, lips pressing a kiss, fingers pulling the stray wisps of hair back over your shoulder. “I’m sure she will be as fierce as you…”

“That’s your guess? She?” You give an airy laugh. “Well, she certainly is already fierce, given the amount of kicking, punching, and spinning that plagues me at all hours.”

A cool hand wanders over the taut curve of your belly, and instantly the child thumps against the pressure. You cry out at the pain, laughing at the look of surprise on Astarion’s face as your belly shifts with the babe’s movement within. “Incredible,” he breathes before looking at you, tilting your face into his by clasping your chin. “You’re… incredible,” lips murmur against yours. “Nearly impossible odds against us to create a dhampir, and here you are heavy with my child. Wouldn’t be the first time we were victorious against the impossible, hmm?”

“Knowing you, it won’t be the last, either,” you laugh, pursing your lips to kiss him slowly, sweetly. Hands work their way lower to the base of your belly, rucking up your skin to hunt down that source of your scent, that center of your searing need. Cool fingers on your skin give you instant relief, climbing their caress higher and higher until the dip inside you. Your aching spine bends even more, tilting your heavy hips to let him explore deeper.

Heavenly, his chilled thumb dances over your constantly hardened clit, his fingers cooling the ever-burning walls of your cunt. You hiss, riding his fingers. But your body is too laden to move like this. Your hips lock up, your back crying out in pain from your position.

And Astarion reads it in the smallest twinge of your face. Crimson eyes widen in concern, and he shushes you, soothing you as you are lifted up in his strong arms. “Ride me,” he purrs. But your hip joints already protest at the idea of being spread for his waist.

A pitiful whimper escapes you as you manage to pull yourself up on your knees on the couch to face him. Those silver brows furrow, hands at your waist to steady you… both of you. His sight roams over your flushed complexion and sweaty brow, and he guides you over his one long leg, propping it up to press beneath you.

“Use my thigh, my darling,” he murmurs, “your saviour is here.” He grins, raskish and conceited. That same line from when he once would reach out to you in combat. But you’re too pent up to tease, burning too hot with a need to find release with him in any capacity.

A hiss escapes your lips as you settle your folds on the bone of his thigh. Hard, corded muscle cools your wet and aching cunt as you grind. Slick soaks instantly through your panties and definitely into the fabric of his pants. But it only makes his hands grip harder into your hips. The fabric of your loose, flowing dress is no match for the iron clutch of his dexterous fingers.

“Fuck,” you curse, bracing your hands on either side of his head as you move faster. That new angle rubs your clit perfectly, the pressure of his thigh beneath you makes your mouth water with the promise of relief.

“Tch, language, darling,” he chides, slipping a hand beneath your skirts to find your clit with deadly precision, even blindly. “Do you want our babe to be born swearing like Karlach?”

You hang your head, laughing breathlessly until your ribs hurt. You didn’t know they could do that. A bite of your lip, and you grind faster, harder, savoring the way your soaked clothes rub over the aching nerves of your folds. Delicious friction that soothes the ache inside you.

And his finger, gods, it coaxes sighs from your lips, circles made to tease your nub from its swollen hood until you’re shaking.

“Come for me, my love…” he rasps as you hang your head closer to his honeyed lips. Words whispered to you a thousand times before seem to penetrate you deep in your belly, the fluttering of your child making you catch your breath. It grips your whole stomach, your climax. The whole swell of your belly tightens, and then tightens some more. Legs shake, and your whole body floods with the burst of pleasure you craved all day. Little strangled noises fall from your lips, until panting, you rest, unable to move off his leg.

“Where would you be without me, darling?” he purrs, slipping his hand deeper between your thighs, stroking and stretching your walls. Feeling them flutter on his fingers.

You huff a humored, tired laugh, “Not pregnant, for one.” He pouts back at you. “And two, I’d be lost without you my love.” You lean forward for a kiss, letting him hold you up. Letting him support you in all the ways he can.

[kayhi808]

First Crush -12

It was an epic battle of wills, Abigail Rose vs Mama. Abby needed to go down for her nap, but she didn't want to. You understood. Today was so much fun. So many new things to see and do, but you also knew what a grump she could be when she's tired and fussy. You also knew she'd be staying up late with the fireworks and you didn't want your exhausted baby ruining it for anyone.

"Pleeease, Mama! I don't wants to. I don't wike it." Your baby's eyes fill will large tears.

"You take naps after lunch everyday. Today is no different," brushing her hair off her forehead.

"No, Mama."

You had walked off further into the picnic area, pulling a blanket out of her backpack, so she could nap outdoors and still be at the fair. "It's your choice, do you want to nap here, back at Bucky's place, or we can go straight home." Abby stomps her foot. "When you wake up from your nap, we'll go back to playing. We can do face painting. How would you like that?" Abby shakes her head & her tears start to fall. "You can be a bunny and I can be a piggy."

"NO!"

"Hey, don't yell at me Abby."

"I don't wike you!" Bucky sees you flinch at her words. She pulls away from you and runs to Bucky, "I don't wants to nap. I's not tired. Please Bucky." Her little hands swiping the tears from her chubby cheeks. Bucky looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

Sternly but quietly, "Abigail, come here. Now." Abby doesn't leave Bucky's side. "I said, now."

She cries louder, but waddles back to you. You hold her hands & tilt her chin up so she's looking at you. "I'm your Mama. Not Bucky. You listen to me. You want to get Bucky into trouble??" Bucky gives you a mischievous smile. You squint a glare back at him.

"N...no, Mama."

"If I tell you no, you don't go to someone else and ask them. I already said no. Doing that is bad."

"I's not bad girl."

You gather her onto your lap, "No, you're not a bad girl. You made a mistake, but now you know that's not a good thing to do." She sticks her thumb in her mouth & nods.

"I sowwy," she mumbles around her thumb.

Bucky walks over and lays at the edge of the blanket, "Maybe we should all take a nap." Abby gets up and lays next to Bucky on her tummy. You settle next to her, rubbing & patting her back. She's facing Bucky but after a few minutes you look at him and mouth "Is she sleeping?" He nods.

"I'm sorry she came to you like that."

"It's ok." He rolls over onto his back, looking up at the sky.

"You were going to be a sucker and cave."

Bucky chuckles, rubbing his chest, "I would have. I'd give anything for her not to look at me like that."

"My baby isn't stupid. She knew who the weakest link was," you quietly laugh. Bucky grabs a handful of grass and tossed it at you.

"You're a good mom. It doesn't look easy, but you make it look effortless." Bucky sees a tear slip from the corner of you eye, disappearing into your hairline. "Doll?"

You turn, giving him a sad smile. "Thank you. Half the time I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so scared of messing up with her and having her grow up to hate me."

Bucky jumps up & pulls you to your feet so he can hold you. "You know she didn't mean what she said. She was angry." Music from the stage is playing and he sways back & forth with you. You get in a good little cry, disguised as dancing. "She's so lucky to have you as her mom. And she adores you! You've raised a happy child."

"Except at nap time."

"Today is a one off."

Raising on tip-toe, you kiss his cheek, "Thanks, Buck."

*******

While Abby sleeps, you and Bucky enjoy a couple dances. He runs away to grab you ice cream sandwiches, saying you earned it. You both finish quickly in case Abby wakes up. It's your little secret. Natasha and Steve drop by saying they'll stay with Abby if you and Bucky wanted to enjoy the fairgrounds together. You're unsure about leaving Abby. "Doll, she's safer than anyone here. She's got Captain America and Black Widow watching over her. 30 minutes and we'll come back." Bucky grabs your hand and you let him lead you away.

You return to the midway games and challenge each other to, basketball, water guns, bean bag toss, shooting gallery, and anything you could find to compete against him. You collected your tickets so you could return with Abby to redeem them later.

Bucky picks out a pair of fairy wings for Abby. "Are you serious?"

"Does she already have a pair of wings?"

"No, but..."

"Think of how cute she'll look when she rides her unicorn later. Oh, were you going to get her wings?"

Laughing, "I didn't win that many tickets. I was going to let her choose new story books."

He wraps his arm around your neck bringing you in for a kiss. "See, perfect."

*****

Abby woke up from her nap so excited to see everyone there. Steve had gotten her some "banoons" which she loves so much. And then Bucky showed her her fairy wings and she went crazy. She had to put it on immediately! Poor Steve got one-upped again.

Throughout the afternoon, their picnic got bigger. Clint and his family joined in. Tony, Pepper and Morgan visited. Abby and Morgan became fast friends. They played in the jumper house, and rode the mini train together. They sat through getting their face painted, turning them into 2 little kittens.

After dinner, Abby wanted a dance party so you danced with your baby. Thankful this time she didn't give you instructions on how to "shake it" like before. Your little ringleader got everyone dancing. One of her favorite songs comes on and she tries to get Bucky to sing it with her but he doesn't know it . She only likes singing the chorus.

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e

You shake your head at your 3 year old Swifty shaking her bottom so her dress swishes. She smiles up at you with so much joy. No one is going to love her like you do. She's your world.

The fireworks are about to start. Abby has only seen them on videos and TV. Pepper gave you an extra pair of earplugs for Abby. She oohs and ahhhs along with everybody else. Bucky puts her on his shoulders so she could be closer to them. She wanted to catch the sparkles in her hands.

You make you way back the the Residence. Abby is chatting non-stop about everything that happened today. It was a struggle to get her to wash the face paint off. You blamed it on Bucky. You told her that if she got his pillows all dirty he might not invite them back. She quickly consented to scrubbing her face.

Bucky offered to read her a story while you showered. When you got out of the bathroom, Abby was sound asleep. "She didn't even make it 5 pages in." You trade spots while he cleans up.

He leaves the bathroom with his wet hair, flopped over his forehead still looking handsome as ever. He sits on the couch, pulling you to straddle his lap. Your lips immediately seek his. His hands on your hips bringing you flushed against him. A soft moan escapes you both. His tongue glides across your lower lip seeking entrance. Which you eagerly grant. Your fingers threading through his hair at the nape of his neck. Your tongue teases his and his fingers creep under your shirt palming your breasts.

"Mama?!"

Bucky tosses you off him and into the corner of the couch. You laugh at his panicked expression and surprised at his strength. "Yes, baby?" You get up and go to Bucky's room. Abby's sitting up in the middle of the bed.

"This not my bed."

"We're spending the night a Bucky's house, remember?"

"Can yous sleeps wit me?" Reaching out with grabby hands. Sighing, "Of course."

Bucky tucks you both in, and drops kisses on you. "We'll figure something out," he whispers in your ear. You smile and nod, pulling Abby against you as she tries to sleep.

Uncle Steve

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @crazyunsexycool @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @ozwriterchick @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22 @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05

[devoutekuna]

Family bonding

Includes- Toji, Sukuna, Nanami, Gojo, Geto

Sukuna-

Sukuna never brings his child around his followers, finding them unworthy to grace their eyes upon his offspring. Sat in a vacant room, laid out on the floor as he watched his followers trying to entrain him, dancing around, telling stories or jokes. Nothing could suffice him, a pile of heads adorning the corner of the room, yet to become of everyone. Small giggles being heard from the slightly open door, pink hair sticking out from beside it as he looked at it, hands working magic as he sliced their head off, ushering for the next person. Door slashed open just like those people, leaving wooden remains all around. "Show yourself" crimson eyes peering out from the last standing part of the door. A smile glistening on her face, flashing her canines at him. "Papa!" Running towards the king. A smirk on his face as he felt his daughter's embrace, staring at the one servant who raised their head just for it to be cut off, leaving no witnesses to the matter.

"Next!" Motioning for the next person to come in, only to receive the news that there was nobody left, leaving a pile of corpses in the corner of the room, blood seeping towards him.

Gojo-

"Won't mummy be mad?" Sat in his father's arms as he fought a curse, using his infinity to block all the attacks, still flinching from the idea of them getting through. "Not if she doesn't know" grinning at the little boy, he loved to mess with you, hearing you scold him was some of his favourite highlights. "But still" covering his head in his father's shoulder, white hair rubbing against his neck. "If you're that scared we can go home" exorcising the curse as he looked away, making sure not leave a mess and just use the excuse that it ran away. Kicking his leg into his chest on accident. "No!" Smiling at how much his son wanted to spend time with him.

Nanami-

"If your going to stay in here, help me out" trying to declutter his office. Taking down a box full of files, throwing them onto the sofa since he knew that they were no used to him. Reaching for the next one as he noticed a small pair of hands reaching towards him first. "To me" on her toes as she reached for it, wanting to be helpful like she said. "Don't drop it sweetheart." Handing her the box, noticing how she reacted by lowering her body, waddling over to the sofa since the box was too big for her. "Ooo, what's this daddy?" Pulling out a memory box you two made when you reached your 10 year anniversary. Ripping the box open before he could even get a good look at what she was talking about. Ripping the box from her arms, not knowing what she would discover if she opened it up. "Awh" folding her arms over her chest, trying to act cute to get it back. "Let's leave this up here" straining his arms as he put it back up.

Geto-

He's rambling on about his stupid followers, talking about how useless and belittling them, cup in hand as he took a few sips of the drink before he carried down talking. "Here you go daddy" running up to him with a new glass of milk, having it come out of the microwave, it was warm, but still a little cold. Ripping the other cup from his hands, running back to the kitchen to hand it you. "Thank you sweetheart" smiling at the girl as she seated herself next to him, leaning her body onto his.listening to whatever he had to say despite not understanding the meaning behind it at all. "And then they have the nerve to say something about my actions!" Maybe he was drunk with the way he was acting. Small hands leaning over to grab the felt tips, refusing to get out of her comfortable position only for her father to step in and pass them to her, stroking her hair in the process.

Toji-

"Keep up" strolling in the park, he would've kept his normal quick pace but he had his daughter with him, both dressed up in pyjamas as they walked through the park. He was only here because the lines for the food truck were shorter at nighttime. Nightie swaying in the wind despite her coat. "Wait up daddy!" Running up to him to try and grab his hand, only to grab his fingers because she was too short. Picking the girl up as he sped up, wanting to get back before you woke up since he knew you would scold him.

Sat on the bench eating some ice-cream, it was a quick stop by to the shop before they made it to the food truck since she was so hungry. Wiping the ice-cream off her nose with the spare tissue he had. "We've got to go before your ma' wakes up"

[maiverie]

THE RAIN HAS AN EDGE ╰ ﹙ ☁️ ﹚ft. park sunghoon ﹕ a oneshot ﹙ preview ﹚

you are the girl with an umbrella on a rainy day, and sunghoon is the boy at the bus stop drenched from head to toe.

in a nutshell ﹒ there’s a heavy downpour so you hold an umbrella over sunghoon and he looks at you like you’re crazy // 100% fluff

word count ﹒ preview is 1.5k; full ver ~6-7k

fic one of the chasing rainbows series ﹙ coming soon ! ﹚

“true, the sun and the wind inspire. but the rain has an edge. who, after all, dreams of dancing in the dust? or kissing in the bright sun?” — cynthia barnett

now playing ﹒ paris in the rain﹙ lauv ﹚

THE FIRST TIME you talk to park sunghoon, it’s raining, it’s cold, and jake had ditched you to “hang out” with chaewon, because he’s a crappy friend who pounces at any opportunity for female attention.

after your study session in the school library finishes, you find yourself standing at the school’s front entrance, grimacing at the downpour of rain in front of you. heavy pellets pummel from the sky like bullets, forming puddles in the divots of the ground and lowering the temperature enough to make you shiver. 

lucky for you, you remembered to bring your umbrella.

this was a habit of yours even on the sunniest of days, after spending five days bedridden with a fever following The Great Downpour of 2020.

when you reached for your backpack and unfurled your umbrella, it sprung to life and off you went, hopping down the cement paveway that led to the nearest bus stop.

you’re just about to slip in your earphones when you stop in your tracks, spotting a figure a few steps ahead of you. 

the person is crouching on the ground at the bus stop, hunched over and hugging their bookbag in an attempt at gathering warmth. 

the person is drenched and miserable.

and practically radiating angst and despair.  

because you’ve always been a totally (impulsive) caring and selfless person, you shuffle over and hold your umbrella over the person’s head.

they look up — and just when you encounter a cold gaze, dark brows and raven hair — you realise that the moody figure is none other than park sunghoon.

park sunghoon, the ridiculously good-looking senior everybody whispers about but doesn’t actually know anything about. 

park sunghoon, the guy who always wears a stoic, unsmiling expression that makes him the most unapproachable of his group of friends. 

and park sunghoon, the one who’s staring at you with a baffled and slightly distrustful expression on his face. 

oh.

you’re just standing here, staring at him like a creep. 

crap.

you should say something.

you open and shut your mouth a few times, trying to brainstorm what you might possibly say. you want to sound smart. and funny. and cool. so, naturally, the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a very intelligent and super profound, “it’s, uh. . . raining.”

sunghoon continues to stare, his brows slightly furrowed to suggest he was questioning your sanity. 

“it’s raining,” you stupidly repeat louder, as though he hadn’t heard you over the rain. 

“good catch,” he replies, his gruff voice coinciding with the slight dip of his lips. 

the rumors are so true. 

sunghoon definitely has a very grumpy, rather angsty demeanour. you’ve actually spotted him around school a few times (you may or may not follow him with your eyes every time he’s around. is that a crime? it can’t be! you’re not the only one in the student body who finds him extremely attractive and painfully enigmatic), but he’s not the kind of person you can approach so easily.

in fact, he’s been coined the nickname ice prince for a reason.

“yes, uh,” you struggle to string together a coherent set of words, especially because he stands to his feet now, and you have to make the effort to not be intimidated by his height. 

“what i meant to say is that it’s raining but you don’t have an umbrella,” you laughed awkwardly, wanting to whack your head and yell stupid, stupid, stupid for impulsively waddling over here and saying stupid things to park sunghoon of all people. “i-i mean, obviously it’s a free country and you can totally do whatever you want, but, as you might already know — and i’m sure you do because you’re one of the smartest kids in school — standing in the rain can get you sick, like, really sick, and i only know this because about three years ago i forgot my umbrella and — funny story — i ended up getting so sick that i had to take five days off school because my fever was so high.”

oh god.

you quickly slap the tips of your fingers over your lips to physically restrain yourself from talking. the motion makes sunghoon’s gaze quickly flit to your lips, before they bounce back up to your eyes.

his stare is so painfully emotionless that you cringe inwardly.

you wish he’d say something.

anything. literally anything.

but he’s silent.

well, of course he is — you basically just trauma dumped about your stupid fever story. boo-hoo, you were sick from the rain — who cares?

just when you think you’ve reached the death of the conversation, you’re surprised by the sound of his soft voice.

“. . . niki.”

huh?

you blink, leaning in slightly so that you can hear him better.

“. . . niki. my brother. he took the last umbrella.”

oh.

your lips form a small o as you nod in understanding. “oh, niki! that doesn’t surprise me. he’s in my class, you know, and he’s always playing pranks on our teacher. one time he actually hid the test papers so we got a whole extra day to study,” your voice lowers to a whisper, “can’t believe i still failed it though. . .”

sunghoon doesn’t say anything, and afraid of being submerged in awkward silence again, you rush to fill in the space. 

“so where’s niki now?”

he shrugs. “soccer practice, probably.”

“oh,” you frown. “wait, aren’t you part of the soccer team, too? you’re the goalie. you saved so many goals last season and helped the team to their first win in two years,” you say, though your eyes widen in panic as soon the words leave your mouth, “n-not that i’m a stalker, or anything,” you frantically add, “it’s just that everyone knows you’re the goalie because one, it’s common knowledge, and two, the game is coming up and we’re all on the edge of our seats to find out how it goes!” 

stupid stupid stupid. 

why are you rambling so much? 

sunghoon doesn’t seem to mind, though his lips flatten in a rather sour manner. “i quit the team, actually.”

you gasp. “you’re the person jake is replacing? he’s been so cocky ever since it was announced that he’d be on the team. what made you quit?”

he shrugs, “it got boring,” he mumbles, then his ears turn slightly red and he dips his head in an emotion you never imagined park sunghoon could wear — embarrassment. “and i accidentally sprained my ankle.”

you blinked in surprise. “how?”

he hesitates before answering. “i tripped.” 

you stifle a laugh at the irony, because while sunghoon was a lot of adjectives — tall, handsome, mysterious, brooding, kind of scary, even — you never thought he was clumsy.

you softly cackle, earning you a glare from the boy. 

“sorry,” you grin playfully, growing accustomed to his icy aura. “i just never pictured you as a klutz.”

“says you,” he grumbles, “weren’t you the one who tripped and fell in the cafeteria last week? ”

“what—” you choked, “you saw that?”

he exhaled through his nose in amusement. “who didn’t?” sunghoon raised a brow at you. “i’m pretty sure someone recorded and posted it. the caption was ‘dumbass fails to do simple task and ends up with food all over her clothes.’”

your eyes slammed shut before they shot open. “fucking jake,” you growled, gripping the umbrella tightly. “i’m going to kill him.”

sunghoon chuckled, and the sound made your heart beat a little faster. you caught a fleeting glimpse of his smile which — by the way — showcased the most emotion you had ever seen from the boy. it couldn’t be helped that your stomach mangled and twisted at his pearly-white boyish smile, one that made his cheeks bunch up his face and his eyes twinkle like stars.

how pretty.

his smile faded as quickly as it appeared, however, and you soon found yourself facing his usual blank expression again. 

you want to try say something that might make him smile or laugh again, but he suddenly steps outside of the cage of your umbrella and raises his hand, hailing down the incoming bus. 

it slowly stops by the road beside the two of you, marking the end of your little interaction. 

“oh, your bus is here,” you force a smile, rather disappointed. “i’ll, um, see you later, sunghoon.”

“get home safe,” he retrieves his bus card from his pocket, glancing over his shoulder before he boards his bus. “and thanks. for the umbrella.” 

“n-no problem!” you quickly smile, “and by the way, my name is—”

“i know your name,” he interjects, and you think your mind is playing tricks on you when you see the edges of his lips twitch upward. “see you around.” 

sunghoon disappears into the bus and it whizzes by you, though you stay frozen in your feet for what feels like forever. 

he knows your name.

he’ll see you around.

you tuck your lip between your teeth, cheeks and ears flaring up.

and he wants you to get home safe.

.

( to be continued )

this is a preview only ﹒ full fic is estimated 6-7k ﹒ taglist open — send an ask, dm, or reply !

a/n . btw this is a preview only. the full fic might come out next week ? anyway my first hoonie fic and it's 100% pure, unadulterated fluff <3 this is inspired by paris in the rain + the above quote + an exo fic i adore ^^ hope u all liked it :) see u in the full version maybe 🤓

[archangeldyke-all]

I’m honor of my first “ramble” about sevika…

I was wondering.. if you could write about performing anal on sevika with a strap but also using a separate dildo to use on her cunt..

Goddddd her ass is just so fucking unbghhhhh in those fuckingn pants… godddd she deserves everythingggggggggg

(I don’t think you got my last request cause tumblr’s being weird but you’re such a good author!!! One of the best and utterly amazing!!)

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH (and thank u so much this is so fucking nice!!)

men and minors dni

sevika didn't bottom much before meeting you.

to be fair, before you, she didn't do nearly as much laughing as she does now, she didn't smile so much, she didn't eat this often or well...

but you changed a lot of things for her. sevika feels safe with you.

safe enough to bottom just as often as you do. safe enough to admit how much she loves feeling you inside her. how much she loves the stretch, the fullness, the girth.

safe enough to blink up at you shyly one night, a blush high on her cheeks as she whispered out a sweet question-- 'c-can you touch me... here?' -- as she dragged your hand a little lower than her dripping cunt.

you happily obliged. both you and sevika were shocked at how quickly she came with two fingers in her ass and your tongue on her clit.

and now sevika's obsessed with anal.

it's just another thing she's learned about herself in her time with you; she's realized she likes cuddling, that she hates iceskating, that she actually doesn't hate dancing, and that, you know... she's a bit of a slut for anal.

which is how you find yourself here, your wife's legs hooked over your hips, your strap buried in her ass, your second finger slowly working its way into her cunt.

sevika's a fucking mess. she gets so fucking leaky when you're in her ass, you've bought a specialized super absorbant sex towel for this exact reason.

she's been on edge all day-- you'd gently fingered her ass open this morning before shoving one of her biggest plugs in her and sending her off to work, laughing as you watched her waddle awkwardly down the driveway.

you've only been inside her for a few minutes, but there's already a puddle under her ass.

"i-i can take more!" sevika whines. you chuckle.

"i just got this one inside you baby. just relax 'n feel good for me. i promise i'll fill you up like you need." sevika huffs up at you. you snort and pull your fingers out of her cunt to give her clit a slap. "brat." you sigh fondly.

sevika squeaks and squirts a little, and she glares up at you. "put your fucking fingers back in." she demands.

you roll your eyes but oblige. "so needy." you whisper as you sink two fingers back into her cunt, your hips keeping their steady, slow, shallow thrusts.

she's so fucking tight with your strap in her ass, you can feel the tip of your dick moving inside her against your fingers. and she looks delicious. she's drenched in sweat, a blush running all the way down her chest, her thighs and abs twitching as her hands clench the plush towel underneath her.

and fuck her cunt.

she's squelching and dripping around you, her pretty clit's poking out of it's hood begging for attention, her walls slowly stretching around your fingers as you fuck them deeper and deeper inside her.

"i'm gonna--" sevika whimpers before cutting herself off with a bite to her lip.

you pull away completely, leaving both her holes empty.

"what the fuck?!" she growls, shoving up on her elbows to glare at you.

you're too hypnotized by the sight of her pretty holes, both clenching desperately around nothing, just begging for you to fill her again. "you're so fucking pretty." you whisper.

sevika's frustration melts and she collapses against the bed. you gently guide her legs to the mattress, pinning them where they're spread as you duck down to lick one long stripe from her twitching clit, down her cunt, and to her ass.

she's tugging at your hair the second your face is between her legs, babbling nonsense as she tries to get your tongue inside her ass.

you just giggle, the vibrations making her shiver as you kiss and suck her rim.

"pl-- bab-- i wan-- fuck! c'mon!" sevika whines. you chuckle and stand back up again, smiling down at your squirming wife.

"what do you want?" you ask as you trail a featherlight finger over her clit. she's so fucking sensitive it makes you a little crazy.

"fuck me!" sevika demands, even stoming her foot on the mattress a bit. you burst into laughter, and sevika huffs a tiny laugh at her behavior before reaching up and tugging your hand back down toward her cunt. "please." she whispers sincerely, blinking up at you with her wide, sparkly eyes.

fuck. how can you say no to that?

you easily slide three fingers inside her cunt, fucking her until she's shivering before you guide the tip of your cock back inside her.

the moment your tip slides in, sevika's clawing at your shoulders. "more! more, all of it, i need more, fuck me! fuck me!" she begs.

you lean down and kiss her lips; and then follow her request, snapping your hips against her ass as you start to work your fingers against her g-spot.

"fu-u-u-u-u-u-ck."

"there you go, baby." you sigh as you kiss her cheek and lick up a bead of sweat on her temple. your thighs and wrist are soaked in her cum, and her cunt is trying desperately to pull your fingers deeper. "you ready?" you whisper, gently thumbing her clit.

sevika cums. you laugh as you watch your wife fall apart at just the question, and finger her through her squirting, whimpering, desperately-nodding-yes orgasm.

the moment sevika's eyes snap back open, she pulls her claws out of your shoulder and fumbles for the the dildo resting beside her, practically flinging it at you with her excitement.

you giggle, gently pulling your fingers out of her cunt to catch it. it's smaller than your cock, and sevika was begging for you to use a bigger one, but as much as you love indulging the size queen in her, it's her first time doing this.

which is why your hands are shaking a bit as you try to guide the dildo to sevika's cunt. your fingers are still so slick from being inside of her that the didlo slips right out of your fingers. "oh, shit." you curse.

you and sevika both fumble to catch the fluorescent pink dick-- the absurdity of the situation hitting you with full force as it slips flops around in the air.

you both burst into laughter, and you have duck down to nuzzle against her throat, muffling your laugh against her sweaty skin as she tries to contain her giggles.

"you okay?" you ask. sevika snorts and nods, kissing your scalp.

"yeah. you?" she asks.

you take a deep breath and push back up off of sevika, smiling down at her. "i'm perfect." you say.

she huffs and rolls her eyes, then twines her legs around your waist, your cock shifting a bit inside her ass. you both hiss, and then sevika grins wickedly. "here." she hands you the dildo again. "now fuck me."

you smile, bringing the dildo to your lips, spitting on it and moaning. beneath you, sevika shivers, and her eyes grow impossibly wider as you push the cock between your lips, getting it wet for her-- not like she needs it.

still. it's worth it for the way she's looking at you as you bring the dildo down to her cunt.

it slips in obscenely easily.

you nearly cum the moment it does.

"fuck sevika-- how do you feel baby?" you ask.

"i-- ah!" she's gasping and clawing at the sheets. you stop thrusting, and sevika's eyes snap open, glaring up at you. "fuck me!"

you grin down at her and start thrusting your hips slowly as you inch the dildo further and further inside her cunt. you're hypnotized, honored, and hornier than you've ever been in your fucking life as you watch your wife take you. when you finally push all the way in, you stop thrusting, and blink down at sevika with a smile that's surely bordering on insane.

"you're all full of me." you whisper.

sevika cums at your words.

you giggle, drunk off the experience, and start to slowly fuck her with both your cock, and the one in your hands. each thrust has her voice rising in pitch-- one long squeal echoing throughout your bedroom as she squirts and shivers around you.

when she's done, the first thing she does is reach up and pull you down, wrapping her limbs around you like a koala. she's still shivering and heaving, and you still your movement, resting against your wife. "sevika?"

"one second." she says.

you give her time, kissing against the fat of her breast, drawing patterns into her ribs. 'i love you.' you mouth against her neck.

sevika must feel your lips, she must recognize the movement, because she pinches your ass and giggles. "i love you too." she says.

"are you okay?" you ask-- knowing she's probably sick of the question but not caring in the slightest. sevika snorts and smacks your ass right where she's just pinched it.

"just wanted to remember how it feels to be so full of you." she whispers.

now it's your turn to cum at her words.

it catches you entirely off guard, but the moment the words leave her mouth you're gasping a quiet "fuck!" and grinding helplessly against her.

sevika bursts into giggles beneath you, kissing you as you fall apart.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @claude999 @nhaaauyen

[suempu]

masterlist <3

thinking about a random servant or worker walking in on you and laios locking lips near the windows of the throne room.

the worker stutters a silent yelp before leaving with a flushed face, feeling guilty about the accidental intrusion.

they don’t think much about it, brushing it off as the king seeking solace in his lover’s arms when the affairs of the kingdom takes a toll.

it’s not until a few days later when they walk around the halls, a bucket and rag in their hands when faint giggles and hushed whispers echoes quietly under the moonlit walls.

their eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets— and it might as well have dropped to the floor because the sight before them would leave anyone in confusion.

there you were again, arms trapping the advisor against the windows. you both seem to be in a dance of playful banter. and the worker normally wouldn’t think much of it, if it weren’t for kabru’s hands on your hips, massaging it gently.

‘have i just witnessed an… affair…!?” the worker’s mind echoes as they walk away, jaw nearly on the floor while a blush paints on their cheeks.

oh. what would the king think? everyone would go crazy-! and with the advisor, no less! this is so scandalous!!

the servant waddles off to scrub dirt and grime off a random wall, hoping to forget what they’d seen.

days later, after convincing themselves that it was just a mistake, that there was no way you could ever be unfaithful to the king, that they must have read the situation incorrectly, and surely that was it!

they walk into the library, pushing a cleaning trolley after the librarian had told them of the dusty books that needed to be cleaned. and of course, they took the task enthusiastically —anything to get the questions and temptations of gossip off their mind.

turning around the corner, their mouth opens agape, feeling another rush of blood flowing to their face as they stared in confusion and disbelief.

the advisor wrapped in a tight embrace…. against the king. kabru was focused on a book, lips pursed as laios rubs his head against the man’s shoulder. like a dog that ached for warmth and hugs.

the worker quickly pushed the cleaning cart towards the door. surely the librarian wouldn’t mind if the books got even more dustier, right? i mean—this castle has been buried for centuries, what’s a few hundred more-?!

the twin doors suddenly open, with your figure bouncing lightly on the tiled floors. “oh, hello!” you greet them politely, but not before a look of surprise and confusion flashes by on your features. you must have not expected another person here.

clutching the handle of the cart, the servant nods politely after stuttering out a greeting. they tilt their gaze and watch as you greet both the advisor and king with a peck on the cheek.

and….

oh… oh. it was like that, huh?

the worker quickly glances away, afraid of intruding in another intimate moment.

they quickly regain their composure and turn back, rolling the cart further into the library. if the relationship wasn’t a secret… then they should just get the job done!

“good morning.” laios says when they pass by. while kabru, now leaning against the table but unable to escape the king’s arm on his waist, gives them a smile for a greeting. you’re squished against the advisor’s side, chin on his shoulder as you try to sneak a peak into the book he was reading.

the servant stammers out, “i’m h-here to clean the library… apologies, your majesty...”

“ahhh, there’s no need for that. we appreciate your work.” laios waves a hand and the worker pushes onward with a nod.

well.

at least their confusion and paranoia had been quelled. now they just hope that they won’t walk in on anything else.

[espace--positif]

Avowal // a Sylus x f!Reader medieval AU fic

Summary: King Sylus never tires of watching his most loyal knight fight. That is, until he tires of just watching and decides to test himself against your blade. WC: ~2.4k Content tags: Medieval AU, King!Sylus, F!Knight!Reader, swordfighting/sparring, sexual tension, praise, mild sub/dom themes

Read on AO3 // Masterlist

King Sylus never tires of watching you fight.

The sounds of metal clashing against metal stir the audience that fills the tournament grounds to the brim, cheers and roars traveling through the stands as heated battle unfolds before them. From the vantage point granted to him by the shaded royal box, Sylus calmly watches as you avoid your enemy’s relentless blows, sometimes redirecting and sometimes dodging, all the while being slowly but surely pushed to the edge of the arena. His guest of honor, the rambunctious monarch of one of the few remaining independent kingdoms in the Grasslands, sits besides him and punctuates the exchange of blows with unprompted commentary. Praises of the hulking knight who relentlessly advances on you fall on Sylus’s deaf ears, your distant form the only target of his attention.

It is the third day of tournaments held to inaugurate negotiations with said monarch, negotiations which Sylus has no doubt will end in his favor. And so the tournaments and festivities are nothing more than a formality. That, and a wondrous excuse to send you forth to joust in his name, to joyously watch you obliterate would-be champions.

The loudmouthed monarch applauds and cheers as his chosen knight applies more pressure on you. Your opponent is large, almost twice your size, and the greatsword he brandishes with heavy arms would certainly be cause for concern for any knight lesser than you. But Sylus does not worry, for he’s seen you dance this dance countless times before. Before long, your back is nearly touching the edge of the railing that delineates the arena. The rambunctious monarch whoops, and Sylus watches in silent anticipation. The presence of his not-so-honored guest is easily forgotten as he tunes out the monarch’s raucous cheers, focused only on you.

This is his favorite part.

In a swift motion, you pivot on one foot and duck under your opponent, swiftly avoiding what would have been a decisive strike. Off-balance and off-guard, the man fails to compensate for your movement in time, and you’re behind him before he can react. Your swift arms carry your sword into your opponent’s ribs in a powerful strike, and you follow through with a fervor that draws a contented hum from Sylus’s lips. The man comes crashing down in a heap of plate and mail, breaking through the fencing, and the crowd gasps, some letting out pained hisses at the sight of the dent you’ve left in his thick armor.

As expected, the giant’s raw power was no match for your calculated dominance of the field, each movement of your beautiful dance a deliberate choice made to move your opponent exactly where you wanted him, when you wanted him. All the while leading him to believe he had the upper hand.

Sylus doesn’t just love to watch you fight, he’s exhilarated by it.

“I don’t believe it!” bellows his guest, wine spilling on silk robes as he thrashes about in disbelief.

“I warned you not to underestimate her,” Sylus replies with a smirk that’s equal parts smugness and pride.

You sheathe your sword as you effortlessly stride to face the royal box while your large opponent clambers up and unceremoniously waddles behind you, struggling to catch up. You both offer deep bows at the box — your opponent’s gesture tainted with shame as he nurses his likely bruised rib, and yours brimming with tension.

Yet another part of you he never tires of glimpsing.

As captain of his personal guard, you are his most trusted knight. You’ve fought for him for as long as he cares to remember, representing his kingdom, defending his life, slaying dozens and injuring hundreds in his name. Each time, after the deed is done, you inevitably look to him, your tender eyes measuring his reaction, awaiting his approval. And each time, he gives it to you. How can he not, when you look so beautiful, draped in the scarlet colors of his kingdom, in his colors? When the lamellar feathers that line your gauntlets and greaves strike fear in all who would oppose you, for they know you would cut them down at the snap of his finger? When the crest of the crow on your breast, golds and reds and blacks shining brightly under warm sunlight, serves as a daily reminder of how deeply beholden you are to him?

Today, a playfulness in him, no doubt engendered by the swelling pride he feels at your victory, tempts him to delay this little ritual of yours. He simply settles deeper into his seat, long legs sprawled out, and rests his chin onto his palm as you raise your head. Even from beneath the visor of your helm, he can sense your nervous impatience. The crowd roars for you, but you pay them no mind. You remove your helm with urgency, beaded braids falling freely down your shoulders, sunkissed skin glistening under the warm daylight, and he finally meets your gaze. It’s filled with anticipation and loyalty and eagerness and adoration, and that’s all it takes to draw an inevitable smile from his lips. He nods, offering slow, tender claps that are just for you. Relief fills your eyes, and you return a subdued smile, beaming with a light that only he can see.

—

The ceremonies have come to a close, and you’ve finally been relieved of your post after diligently standing guard beside the king well into the late evening, never leaving his side throughout the festivities and beginnings of negotiations — just as he personally requested of you. Even when your relief arrived in the form of the night garrison, you looked at Sylus for quiet confirmation, and he gave you the slightest nod as he continued his conversation.

You now busy yourself with your favored method of decompression after tournament days such as these. Tucked within the confines of the makeshift armory — a spacious tent where your settlement’s arms are laid out — you inspect weapons, sharpen blades, and polish pommels, surrounded by nothing but quietude, steel, and dim torchlight.

The sound of the tent’s flap shuffling pulls you from the task of buffing out a chip in the blade of a longsword, and you’re greeted by none other than King Sylus himself, the last person you expected to walk into your little patch of solitude.

“There you are,” he says in that low voice of his that always settles pleasantly in your chest.

You immediately straighten, planting the tip of the sword you’ve been working on into the ground with both hands.

“Your Majesty,” you say, offering a small but courteous bow.

“You fought beautifully today,” he says with a warm smile as you raise your head. A flush creeps up your cheeks, and you hope that it is too dark for him to see it.

“Thank you, Sire.”

Sylus absently toys with one of the swords you’ve just finished maintenance on, running the edge of his thumb across the sharp blade.

“I would spar with you myself,” he says suddenly.

“I’m certain you would make a formidable opponent.”

“Then let us find out.”

You freeze. “Now?”

“Now.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have suitable armor for you to wear here,” you reply, looking around. You know your armory well, and you’re certain that none of the standard armor will fit his tall, muscular form. “Perhaps—”

“I’ve no need for armor.”

“Sire, I couldn’t possibly fight you without adequate protection. It’s too dangerous.” You stare incredulously at his bare chest — he wears nothing but what is perhaps the least protective belted leather sash you’ve ever seen and fine leather trousers, leaving him less than battle-ready. For a king, he’s never been one for gaudy robes nor ostentatious armor, leaving very little to the imagination as he flaunts a chiseled chest and firm arms that could’ve been sculpted by the gods themselves.

“And if I ordered you to?” He cocks an eyebrow, and you realize your eyes are still lingering on his chest, torchlight dancing on the soft curves and hard edges of his muscles. You make no effort to look away.

“If you ordered me to, then I would of course oblige,” you smirk, emboldened by the intimacy of the setting and by the smile that already adorns Sylus’s face. “I suppose it’s a good thing you haven’t done that yet.”

It’s hardly the first time he’s loosened up when alone in your presence, and you like to think that he can be more than the indomitable king, more than the unyielding conqueror, more… himself, whenever he's away from the prying eyes of the kingdom. So you indulge and let him indulge in the playful informality that has become commonplace between you on such occasions.

He hums in mock contemplation. “Then I’m ordering you to.”

You study his face, trying to discern how serious he is. When his curved lips settle into a line and his eyes narrow at your lack of response, you breathe out a small sigh that you hope he doesn’t notice and acquiesce. “At once, then.”

You toss the polishing cloth aside and Sylus assumes a relaxed position a few feet away from you, sword still in hand.

He motions towards your helm, which sits forgotten on a stool at the back of the tent. “Aren’t you missing something?”

“It’s only fair that I match the stakes you’ve put down, Sire,” you answer in a low voice, trying to quell the all-so-familiar embers of anticipation that ignite within you. It isn’t an unfamiliar feeling, especially when you find yourself before battle, but this time is remarkably different. This time, Sylus won’t simply be watching — he’ll be at the receiving end of your sword. The thought causes smoldering butterflies to flutter in your stomach.

“En garde.” You point your sword at him, and he mirrors your motion, lips cocked in a half-smile

Without another word, you initiate the dance.

Your movements are careful and measured, each of your strikes relenting when you feel the tension between your blades threaten to falter in your favor, a tension that would normally spur your muscles to exert more pressure and vie for that final blow.

But you aren’t the only one holding back. Sylus remains defensive, his every strike nothing but a careful response to your own aggression. Even when you misstep, the tip of your sabaton catching on an uneven patch of dirt, your thrust falling short and leaving a gaping opening at your side, he does not move to take the opportunity.

A mixture of the tension building within you – tension you’re unable to channel into your sword lest you injure the king himself – and drumming anger at the fact that he might be toying with you pushes you to a limit you didn’t know you had. Your expression darkens, and you gradually stop easing up at the tail end of your strikes. Sylus’s amused grin does nothing but fan the flames that rouse you. Here you are, teetering on the edge of insubordination by daring to strike so harshly at the king, and here he is, letting you have your way with him. How far will he truly let you go before he earnestly fights back?

He wants you to find out, and you won’t disappoint.

A sudden charge of your plated shoulder knocks Sylus off balance, and you follow up with a deft upward cut. His move to block is a bit too slow, and he catches the full force of your ascending swing. For a moment, your eyes interlock just long enough for you to catch his own widening with surprise. With a resonating clang, your blades clash, and this time you follow through, only stopping when the king is sprawled on the ground, his sword thudding in the soft dirt. You tower over him, your cold steel tickling at the bare skin of his chest as you glide the tip of your sword downwards ever so softly. The sight of him under your grasp, pristine silver locks all disheveled, eyes narrowing at your audacity while his lips curl with approval, stirs something unholy within your depths.

“Yield,” you breathe, the words escaping your lips before you can stop them.

His voice is soft and breathy, gravelly tones traveling through your ears and sending tingles dancing on the surface of your skin. “I yield.”

“Louder,” you push, and his grin widens, revealing sharp canines. Your fingers tighten around your sword’s grip, an involuntary response. The sharp blade draws a single, glistening droplet of blood from his bare chest.

A glint of something unrecognizable, primal and predatory, flashes across the deep reds of his eyes, and you immediately know to pull away. But halfway through the movement, Sylus’s large hand curls around your sword arm, and before you can even register what happens, your back is hitting the ground, armor clashing harshly against the supple dirt. The impact draws a sharp gasp from your lips. You try to shift, but your movements are restricted by a heavy knee on your core, and your sword arm is rendered immobile by the firm grip of his hand on your wrist.

And now, it is his turn to tower over you, to hold you under his grasp. There’s a fiery intensity in his eyes, and you threaten to melt under the adulating grin he now bears.

“You did well.” The words burn all the way through you, leaving nothing but ashen desire in their wake. You shift fruitlessly under the weight of his body.

 “I lost,” you reply between uneven breaths. You lost, but you don’t seem to care right now.

“On the contrary. I yielded,” he says in a low whisper. “The fight is over, knight mine.”

He’s close enough that your breaths, erratic and laced with exertion, mingle together in the quiet of the tent. The world outside stills as you lose yourself in his presence, in the warm closeness of his body, silent devotion drawing you into the vermilion pools of his eyes.

Then, Sylus suddenly stands, finally freeing you. A strange emptiness replaces the pressure that his body was exerting on your own, and you can’t help but think of the look he gave you, right as you pushed him to the limit. A light shiver runs down your spine, an enticing mix of trepidation and anticipation. You wonder what it will take to see that look again.

He’s already at the tent’s entrance when you shuffle back to your feet, and you realize how deeply you’ve forgotten yourself throughout this… duel, if you can call it that. Quickly, you offer a small bow at his back, and blurt out, “It was an honor, Sire.”

“Come by my quarters later,” Sylus smiles over his shoulder. “You’ve a lot to teach me yet.”

My knight hyperfixation and my LADS hyperfixation have coalesced into this fic, and I really really really enjoyed writing it. It's inspired by a melting pot of the Grassland Romance card, the NDZ card, and some ASOIAF (which has been on my feed recently). In my head, this is a whole cinematic universe, so I might revisit with some more snippets if I have more ideas. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed ❣