#vv self-indulgent can you tell

[tonycries]

No one ever really thinks it, but Sukuna is the best at cooking - you think he'd be around Uraume that long and not pick up a few tricks here n' there?

Sure, maybe you don't want him cooking you human stew - but chicken soup for when you're sick? Lava cake for when you're on your period? Pancakes after a long night where he has you bent over the kitchen counter before they're even ready? He has you COVERED and doing it all in an apron and NOTHING else.

[breedbun]

🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶

zhongli/rex lapis x bottom m!reader

details: amab reader, humiliation, feminisation, size diff, public, anal, blowjob, self-indulgent, reader is an incubus, dubcon, rough, bondage, punishment, praise×degradation

minors dni 18+

do not repost 🚫

fanfic below vv

you don't remember when or how you got yourself in this mess, but god, you were not complaining. albeit the fact you're whining, crying and moaning like a slut in front of so many people, it's the fact you have never felt this fulfilled in your fucking life. vigorously being fucked like a dog, humiliated and bred like a bitch in heat. caus' of the blindfold over your eyes neatly going behind your ears, you can hear the very obvious chattering of people below the wooden surface you were on and even cameras clicking, flashing, all for you. you can't see anything, but you sure can hear and feel everything. the back of your thighs slapped against morax's, the squelching sound of his cum in your tight cunt as he consistently and violently kept thrusting into you. this wasn't the first time you've been fucked publicly as a punishment, you were an incubus afterall. it all started with you flirting with this oh so mighty god, wanting to earn his trust and protection.. except, you didn't realise you were just trapping yourself in his grasp— “slut, still smiling are you?" pfft, i mean, how could you not? that thick cock was addicting, just thinking about it would turn him on. but being publicly bred, and being forced an orgasm after orgasm? that would linger in your mind forever.

smack!

a loud, embarrassing moan escapes your throat with the spank, choking on sobs as you gasped for air with the soreness in your throat from his throatfucking previously making you cough. you were definitely drooling now.

his rhythm was clean, smooth, and rough. he pulls all the way out, just enough for the tip to barely be in you, leaving that empty feel inside your cheeks. don't worry though, he quickly thrusts back in at full strength, forcing your abused hole to take his full length in.

..how long was this going for? you don't even know. your wrists and shoulders are starting to hurt, hands tightly trapped in a rough rag he tied around your arms. the only reason why he didn't gag you, was because he wanted to let everyone hear what a whore you were, turned into his fucktoy for sleeping around with another mortal man who doesn't even deserve a glance of your divine, heavenly body. if it weren't for the wet blindfold around your eyes, you'd bet he'd tell you to keep your pretty eyes on him. he wraps his much bigger hand around the belt buckle, using a suffocating make-shift leash gripping tight on your throat, the leather grazing the many bite marks and hickies on your poor neck..

maybe you should sleep with even uglier mortals, he'll get more angry and take even more drastic measures.. like fucking you harder and longer.

"you better learn your lesson quick, before i fuck you to death."

clueless morax, that's exactly what you want.

🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸

hi this is my first fanfic im tired of always fucking zhongli instead of being fucked by him, so take this not proofread shit fic i made... bye

~ `` zayel, 31/3/24 ``

[xmhaoluvr]

INVALIDATED; TWS YOUNGJAE x READER

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Sobbing was all YOUNGJAE could hear upon entering his shared apartment with his girlfriend. With how loud the sobs were, he knew that she didn’t hear him come home

Changing from shoes to a pair of home slippers, he went to set down his things on the couch before going to their shared room. Once he opened the door, the sobbing immediately stopped and he saw the blankets moving subtly; tried to be subtle at least

He changed into his pajamas before tucking himself next to her and immediately spooning her

“I’m home,” he said, kissing her cheeks ever so lightly a few times before hugging her tightly and then letting loose “Have you eaten?” he nodded upon her question “How about you?” “I did, too”

“…”

“…”

“Are you alright?” he asked, voice soft and in a whisper, trying to not hit a button yet it did. Her tears suddenly started coming out without a warning, her sobs earlier turned into bawling as she turned around to bury her face into his chest

Oh how he hates hearing her cry, especially like this. It’s like he can’t do anything to make her feel better

He caressed her back and head, kissing it from time to time while her clutch on Youngjae never loosened

Once her cries calmed down, he asked her, “Are you willing to tell me?” she nodded and told Youngjae about everything

If Youngjae liked your friends before, he surely didn’t now. The way they made you feel so invalidated was so wrong. And they’ve always done this? Oh he was so ready to confront them for you

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he planted a kiss on the top of her head “If only I knew how you felt, I would’ve tried to do something so that your friends will stop doing that. You deserve to feel and know that your feelings are valid and never a kill-joy. How you feel is important. What they did to you should never be excused, it doesn’t matter if they’re a friend or not, the fact that they kept invalidating your feelings should be an enough sign to cut them off,”

He wiped her teary eyes that listened to every words he said

“But they’re the friends I have…” you said sadly and Youngjae shook his head. He held your face with both of his hands, rubbing his thumb on your cheeks ever so lightly

“You have me, and I can introduce you to my friends! They’re the kindest people I’ve ever known– and! Will never make you feel invalidated”

He placed a light kiss on her forehead, it felt like a feather just dropped by

“I love you so much, love”

end! sorry if this is bad lol. i wrote this feeling down bc i felt invalidated so this is vv self indulgent 😅 i might make another youngjae one that is better than this and *venting starts here* i just felt so invalidated earlier that i left the group chat :( i wanted comfort and a shoulder to cry on because it wasn’t the first time it happened and i just didn’t know how to confront them *venting ends* i wanted comfort and a shoulder to cry on and youngjae was the first one who came to mind; very chronically online i know lol but he just looks like the type of person to give the best comfort and hug, i love him so much no one will understand ☹️

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

[prime-adeptus]

OF REBIRTH AND SOLACE – UKITAKE JUSHIRO X READER

He shares your pain and you share his, intertwining your souls in a way even the gods could not break. You are his just as much as he is yours.

TAGS.⠀gender-neutral reader; married life, fluff and hurt/comfort, light angst, vv self-indulgent. SFW. ~900 words

A/N.⠀he could fix me but he would want us to do it together. this is just a huge excuse for me to be sappy

CROSS-POSTED ON AO3

When you love, you love ardently. A part of your soul becomes intertwined with theirs just as they crawl into your veins and seek a home in your heart. Body, mind and soul, Ukitake Jushiro is yours, and you’ll do anything you can to keep it that way.

How could you not, when he looks at you as though you’re the one who hung all the stars in the night sky with your own hands? He looks at you like you’re the one who brings sunshine after the rain. He worships you like the only religion he’s known in his entire life is you, the one he’d so willingly given his whole being to. He holds your hands and kisses them knowing what they are capable of, what they have done. He’d give you the world if you asked, even if you don’t believe you are deserving of it.

Your name carries weight in Soul Society as a disgraced noble with blood on your hands. They don’t know you as a victim; to them, you are the offspring of a sinner on the prowl, a monster borne of evil and recklessness. The people’s sentiments are not unknown to you. Words like daggers pierce through your skin and threaten your very core time and time again, but you do not fight back. You bear the burden of your father’s blood, the result of his anger and hatred for the world.

You don’t believe there to be honour in your existence, but you continue to live. Hundreds of years have given you all the time you needed to build yourself back up again, salvaging the parts of you that were broken by those you once trusted. Even now, you’re still learning to love, to accept the love you’re given, to trust once more, and to have pride in your life again. You may be your father’s child, but you are not him. 

“My love,” Jushiro calls to you, his voice snapping you out of your daze. The scent of jasmine and green tea envelops you with comfort as he wraps his arms around your waist and presses a chaste kiss to your temple. In response, your lips curl into a small smile and you feel heat rush to your cheeks, your heart beating hard against your chest. “What’s on your mind?” 

You sigh quietly. You haven’t quite learned how to bring yourself to tell someone what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling yet. Vulnerability has never been your strong suit. A strict, disciplinary upbringing and the need to be respected—feared—set you a few steps back. In your entire life, you’ve grown most accustomed to either letting your actions speak for themselves or simply holding them back. But then comes your husband, the very personification of warmth himself, making you feel so safe and cared for that you’ll gladly give him a piece of your heart.

“The same things,” you murmur. To some, it’s vague and cryptic, but between the two of you, it’s progress. “I promise it’s nothing to worry about, Jushiro. It’s all good thoughts.”

He smiles softly. “About us?”

“About us and what my life has been since I met you.” Your words are slow, cautious, like you’re still processing them yourself. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this content in my life. It’s like I’m living the way I should be. With you.”

Jushiro gently turns you around to face him, cupping the side of your face with his hand and caressing your skin with his thumb like he always does. He’s fond of being close to you, having you in his arms or even being in yours. With you, he feels as though he’s in spring or summer, where the days are bright and lovely and always something to look forward to. He’s lived a very long time, loved and lost, felt the years pass by and weaken him little by little, but being with you makes him feel young again. It’s never too late, he thinks, and it certainly never is too late to start anew. 

“You make me the happiest man alive as well,” he says. The way he looks at you practically has you swooning, overflowing with nothing but love for him, and the reminder that this man loves all of you unconditionally is enough to bring tears to your eyes. He hushes you gently, leaving soft kisses on the crown of your head as he rubs soothing circles on your back. You hold on to him like a lifeline, listening to his heartbeat with your cheek pressed against his chest that lulls you into tranquillity. 

You love it here. You love being with him, and you love that he’s patient with you. You love that he’s so understanding and compassionate, that he never pressures you to open up to him. He shares your pain and you share his, intertwining your souls in a way even the gods could not break. You are his just as much as he is yours.

“I love you.”

The vow slips past your lips with much more ease compared to the first time you said it years ago. Your hand comes up to tuck his hair behind his ear, running your fingers through his silky smooth strands before he laces your fingers together, the warmth of his skin passing on to yours. The smile he gives you in return is more than you could ever ask for. As bright as the sun, as lovely as the spring. He leans down to kiss you, a promise of his own. 

“I love you too.”

[tim-shii]

a/n: timmy at it again with her swiftie bf sae agenda ! this was so fun to write omg tbh idk where this came from but it came to me at 2am so that should say a lot ... this is once again a vv self indulgent piece 😭

"sae, i made a playlist they'll play when they make a movie adaptation about our relationship. do you wanna know what songs are in it?" 

"sure. even if i say no, you'll still tell me." sae huffed, sitting with his back on the couch as he loosely wraps an arm around your shoulders, making you lean on him.

"okay, for our first meeting. our meet cute. it's gotta be 'i like me better' by lauv. it's cute, gives off lara jean and peter kavinsky vibes. power couple just like you and i." sae hums along to you, finding your reasoning to be odd but whatever.

"next, our first date. wanna guess the song?" you looked up at him and for the first time in two hours (who are we even kidding? you're both dramatic) sae looks you in the eyes. "i don't know, you tell me." 

"two songs from beabadobee, 'glue song' or 'if you want to'. again, cute songs. would totally fit us." you use hand gestures a lot when you talk, sae thinks and he deems that an adorable trait you have. but he will never admit that to you. never. he twirls a strand of your hair on his finger, looping the threads in a circular motion. "how about a song they'll play when we have our first kiss?"

"i got one. 'lovers rock' by tv girl. our first kiss won't be just a kiss, you know. it'll be a full on make out scene. you, me, in a party, sneaking out to a bathroom just to make out." astonishment is visible on sae's face, features also hinting disbelief and amusement. as far as sae can remember, your first kiss was nothing like that. it was an awkward experience. cute, but awkward. at sixteen years old, sae kissed you under a streetlight as he walked you home after a date. it would've been a romantic scene if only the lamp hadn't decided to flicker on and off before completely shutting off, leaving you and sae standing in the dark. with that being said, sae definitely agrees to you fabricating the first kiss.

he leans towards your phone, peeking into your notes. "other songs?" 

"yeah, basically these are songs that make the cut even if they don't have a specific scene." you adjust your hold on the phone so both of you can see it without any difficulty. "look. we got 'hey lover' by the daughters of eve, 'lover' by taylor swift, 'without you' by lana del rey, which by the way you suit very well. i think of you everytime i hear it." sae lets a slight grin play on his face as he pictures you thinking of him just because of a song. 

"continuing on, there's 'the only exception' by paramore, 'late night talking' by harry styles, 'sweet nothing' by taylor swift, 'little things' by one direction, ooh! a classic! 'take on me' by a-ha, 'enchanted' by taylor swift again, 'watch you sleep' by girl in red because you know, i feel overwhelmed with joy knowing that you exist." sae could feel himself fall in love with you all over again. how is it that your words always get to him no matter what. your words linger in his head like lullabies that gets passed down from generations to generations. sae swears he's ready to pop the question right there and then when—

"oh last song, 'all too well, ten minutes version, taylor's version' by none other than taylor swift. how's that for a bomb movie soundtrack album, am i right?" you smiled at him, eyes twinkling with expectations for his opinion. meanwhile sae's lost in thought. did you really just say 'all too well'? and the ten minutes version, too? he must be dreaming, right?

sae stares at you, unmoving and expression serious. "did i do you anything wrong? or did i forgot an important event?" 

you blink confusedly at him. did he hit his head? 

"no. did you?"

"i'm asking you."

"forget it! just tell me what you think of the playlist?" you turned in his hold, dropping your phone to the side to circle your arms around his waist. sae's twirling with your hair again, only this time, he takes up small sections and braids them. "i like it. it's really cute. i like the part where we make out to 'lovers rock'. gotta be my favorite."

you beamed at his answer, immediately going off on a tangent about why you chose those songs. midway, sae cuts you off. 

"hey, why'd you add 'all too well'? isn't that a sad song?" 

"it's for dramatic effects! a movie would be too boring if there's too much cuteness." at your response, sae unknowingly releases a sigh of relief. inside, he knows he's done for the moment you start to relate him to 'all too well'. 

"come on, sweets."

"where are we going?"

"we're gonna rehearse the first kiss scene."

likes & reblogs are appreciated! masterlist

[itoshirindevourer]

NO THIS WAS THE BEST THING TO WAKE UP TO 😭😭😭 had me shocked ngl. ofc you can @ me!! no hate to my notifs but they’re incredibly boring so a notification telling me that someone mentioned me always brightens my day a little ⭐️ nice break amongst the sea of accounts, no matter the post 😓

also thank u for being considerate, my dms are only open to moots on my main but even then i’m not a huge messaging person LOL, tumblr messaging is weird imo. i’m vv active on comments/reblogs as u can tell LMFAOOO

i’m all for telling u my (self-indulgent) preferences wink wink but i’ll feel bad 😭 I DON’T WANT TO WASTE UR TIME :(( if u actually went through with it i’d be on the floor like that’s me u see on the ground trying to remain calm and maintain my breathing…

i can send a picrew or smth WAIT I NEED TO GET OFF MY TRAIN OKAY I NEED TO SPEEDWALK TO MY LECTURE SO IM NOT LATE CYA

for you, my love.

based off that one scene in @earthtooz fic Fake Love.

[tamakisuwu]

cuddles !

very self indulgent, not many people read pjsekai x reader (from what i've noticed </3) but i'm still making this since i love akito vv much :] plus i don't have requests on atm so may as well ! akito may be ooc and the fic may suck a bit since i haven't wrote fic style in awhile.

requests are open !!

pairing: akito shinonome x reader.

warnings: other than minor swearing, none :)

opening your door, you sigh, your eyes blinking rapidly for the tiredness to go away. you then started taking off your shoes and placing them near the entrance of the house.

"i still gotta study for exams huh.. i hate this." you mutter to yourself, about to walk up to your room before a knock on your door stops you.

— knock, knock, knock —

three knocks were heard, turning your heel; you walked to the door, tiredly. "who is it..?" you ask out quietly but loud enough for the person outside to hear. you were too tired to put up an energetic font.

"s' akito, lemme in." a loud voice; which belonged to your boyfriend was heard through the door. you widened your eyes slightly, usually at this hour akito would be practicing with VBS. what's he doing here?

your hands immediately went to the door knob, unlocking and twisting it open as your face was met with your boyfriend's adorable face.

green eyes stared at you, he smiled slightly. "yo." was all he said as you stood at the side, motioning him to come in which he gladly did so. "what are you doing here? you usually have practice at this hour." you said, smiling. you were happy to see akito but at the same time, you were mentally struggling to fight the tiredness your body was experiencing from this exhausting day.

"eh, got cancelled. kohane got sick so an went to her house to check on her." akito says, shrugging his shoulders as he removed his shoes; once placed, he began walking to your bedroom. "oh.. i hope she gets better then. what about touya though?" you asked, following behind him, trying your best to hold back a yawn as you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend since it was quite rare to see him, especially with his busy schedule with school and practice.

akito chuckled, opening your bedroom door as you were both in your room. "s' fine. told him i wanted to come here and spend time with ya." akito said, turning himself; now facing you.

"hm.. i see." you muttered while nodding. akito's eyes softened at the sight of you, honestly it was very obvious you were tired, your voice barely having any volume, your eyes looking like they'll close at any minute, your body swaying sideways a little as if you'll pass out at any moment.

'idiot.' akito thinks to himself before grabbing your hand, making you look at him while tilting your head slightly as if asking him what he wants. "cmere." he mutters, lips pouting slightly making you smile slightly. ah.. he can really be cute without realizing it.

walking towards him, blinking your eyes rapidly as you felt like passing out at any moment. that feeling went away immediately as you felt akito grab your wrist in a slightly rough but gentle manner, pulling you towards him as he falls down onto your bed with a soft thud, making you stay on top of him.

"if you're tired, just tell me dumbass. no need to hide it." akito mutters, his hand that was holding your wrist now moving to hold your waist gently, hugging you in a gentle embrace.

you hum, now nuzzling your face into his shirt. 'he smells like coffee and cheesecake.. as always.' you think to yourself, inhaling the comforting scent of your boyfriend. "i just wanted to spend time with you.." you mutter into his chest, sighing into content as you felt yourself slowly falling asleep.

"that's what we're doing now stupid. plus i personally prefer this stuff over those cheesy dates and stuff." akito says, as one of his hand that was on your waist goes up to play with your hair. "hey.. if you do that, m' really gonna fall asleep.." you mutter softly, barely heard but akito somehow heard it.

"then sleep. i'll sleep with ya. i already texted ena that i'll stay here for the night." you chuckle, your eyes closing as the exhaustion from today consumes you. 'my studies can wait..'

opening your eyes, you look up at your boyfriend; staring at him with nothing but adoration and love. akito blushed and looked away. "oi, stop looking at me and go to sleep." he says with a glare but his soft voice and red ears say otherwise. "mm okay.. i love you." you giggle sleepily, lazily pecking his lips and leaning back down to nuzzle your face into his chest.

"tsk. i love ya too now sleep, i'll be here when you wake up." akito says, staring down at you (not really staring, he's full on adoring you). 'so cute.' he thinks to himself but he'd rather die than admit that to you directly. as you slowly feel sleep taking you away from reality, you also feel a small kiss on the crown of your head and a small mutter from akito; "i got real lucky with you, s/o."

[catcze]

Hear me out

Soft sex with thoma-

NSFW!! 18+ ONLY !!

KJASNDASD BARKING VERY VERY VERY LOUD BARKIGN

I held myself back from being fully self-indulgent bc ykyk I can’t give away all my thoughts 👀 But damn this still got me acting up (also this took me so long i got this in December I'm so sorry) 

⠀!! Feat: This is vv short basically a drabble lmao, GN reader !! Love <33 thats abt it bro have fun akjsnd

THIS MAN, he would be the absolute best when it comes to soft, loving sex ykyky

I can totally see Thoma fucking you on his bed, the sheets crumpled around the two of you. Your legs are slung on his shoulders while he leans over you, making the angle that his cock enters you so impossibly deep that it has your toes curling every time he bottoms out.

Tonight, though, he takes it slow. He takes his time pulling out of you, relishing in your gasp and the downright erotic sounds you make, before he thrusts back in with a pace that, though still languid and slow and considerate, is powerful enough for your eyes to roll.

Imagine Thoma who has his face buried in your neck while he fucks you. He can hear you gasp into his ear whenever he leaves nips and lovebites across your neck, proof of his affection for you. Imagine him grasping your legs, pushing them against your chest and spreading you for him as he sits back up to admire the view. You're flustered and fucked out, all from his affections. It is his hands on you, it is his name that you whisper. The name that leaves the mouth he loves so much, that gasps and whimpers and groans and says 'I love you, Thoma' so tenderly.

Imagine how his heart flutters at the sight, how he has to pause, compose himself before he comes early at just the sight of you, staring up at him with love-clouded eyes. Imagine how Thoma rushes to kiss you, to swallow your moan when he fills you up again with him, how he proclaims his love against your lips. How he tells you that he'll make you feel good, he'll give you whatever you want, he'll make you see the stars and the heavens, because it's what you deserve.

[pyonzzz]

Your OCs seem really cool and I'd like to know more about them if it's okay.

ofc !! i love talking about my oca so much 💕 its actually insane www

since i talked about the wood siblings and fherris and barkley , let me tell you about morri next !!

fun fact ...... theres . no trigger warnings for her story . genuinely . i cant think of a single horrific event ive put her through and thats so shocking to me

morri grew up in the galar region , born to a popular gym challenger father and a groupie of piers' before team grunt was even a thing . due to her dads popularity , she was thrown into the spotlight a bit young , being a cute baby after all

she grew up doing small time acting gigs before she became a model in her teens , where she would eventually meet nessa . they immediately be friends from there and do a lot of shoots together , which lead to both of them becoming very popular

however , as nessa continued doing modeling and things of the like alongside battling , morri would end up taking an indefinite hiatus to pursue the gym challenge . she had a few pokemon of her own that she had been raising since she was young , namely a shiny slurpuff named crème . she would do occasional gigs on the side , but only if they werent a hassle to go to . mostly , she just became a social media icon for an aesthetic galar life of battling , fashion , and spending time with your pokemon partners

theres not particularly much to morris story yet since shes the newest oc of the batch , but i do want her to go through a punk phase after losing to raihan out of utter frustration , because im very self indulgent and i think raihan and morri deserve to be starstruck rival lovers at first sight ( theyre vv close in age )

i did make her rival theme years ago , for music that would play when you talk to her in game and such !!

i wanted her to be an older sister type rival , similarly to leon and n ? where she helps out younger trainers and spends most of her time in the wild area just having fun with her pokemon and stuff !!

and fun fact !! she has interactions with fherris and barkley !! barkley takes fherris on a trip to galar because she wants to watch one of the big tournaments , but just getting close was making fherris get overwhelmed . morri , whos a major contestant , offers to bring fherris and barkley to where the other contestants stay to watch , since the room has sound proofing to make it much quieter . during matches where morri isnt battling , she talks to fherris and barkley more and ends up bonding with fherris a lot . they even go clothes shopping after the tournament ends , and morri gives her contact info to barkley so they can shortcut getting fherris special accommodations if they ever visit again in the future ! ( they make yearly trips to watch morris tournaments )

[eitelle]

Kenma Kozume Headcanons

Genre: fluff, angst if u squint

Warning(s): cursing, mentions of an ED, and slight mentions of a panic attack

Pairing(s): kenma kozume x gn!reader

A/n: hi everyone kinda been a lil mia lately sorry but this is just kenma brain rot to fill my needs and it’s just pure like self indulgent writing so it’s not proofread and is basically things I hc him doing, to make me feel better :)) make sure to drink water and eat food ur body deserves nutrients. And if no ones told u yet, I love you and I’m proud of you!! (Look at u go purr period) ok have a good day loves!! Also my inbox is always open so feel free to flood w requests or just to rant. Damn this was long sorry KAJSBD <3 -Elle 🦶

Alr let’s get into it why don’t we. This is just hcs in general so no particular anything, so it’s very random pls

Pretty boy would have u and him hugging or gaming as his lockscreen and his homescreen

I feel like he def used to compare himself to other people, so if he ever saw u doing that he would fs cuddle you, praise you, and actually show pda bc u deserve it !!

Would drop his games for you.

I HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE AND I WILL SAY IT AGAIN. ALL U MFS WHO SAY HE WOULD CALL U KITTEN ARE WRONG (in my humble opinion ofc) BC THAT MF BULLIES THIS TALL ASS WHITE HAIRED RUSSIAN HYBRID aka lev 24/7. HE WOULD NOT CALL U KITTEN PLS HIS ONLY SOFT SPOT IS FOR SHOYO !!!!

I don’t ship kenhina btw but if u do thats chill, I just mean as besties 😋☝️

Mf is a dry ass texted but beats up kuroo for using cat emojis and only kuroo

If u were nekomas manager he would go just for you. Damn mans is whipped

If u can bake he will propose. And I’m not saying that figuratively. Like kozu will get on one knee and be like “will u make me the happiest man on this earth and MARRY ME SO I CAN HAVE THESE DESSERTS EVERYDAY”

Is secretly vv possesive (ooh kinky 😳🥴) and will mark you (iyk what I mean) (ps I mean like hell make ur gaming tags kenmay/n345 or summ PLSS)

Bby boy will mf drag u places if he rly wants too bc mans is needy for quality time and like hand holding

Vv touch starved but also just wants ur prescience by him

Ok so I hc that at one point of his life, he got so into gaming or summ and then WAIT DID A FUCKING RYAN HIGA COME UP ON MY PLAYLIST I- sorry that was random. Anyways, he stopped eating slowly and accidentally developed an ED

So when y’all started dating, you would share ur plate w him and now even tho his minor ED is gone (thank god I hate that hc bc I hate seeing bub in pain 😔👊 but I still feel like it’s accurate) he can’t eat wo sharing ur plate if ur w him bc it doesn’t feel right

CLINGY ‼️ BOY ‼️

He likes being the little spoon bc he likes when he gets held bc like I said, touch starved bby, but he also loves being big spoon bc that means he gets to hold you 🥺🥺

Tell me why I feel like this man would clown u over liking to read even tho he does too

If u make one spelling mistake, ur done for. That’s ur contact name now until u make a funnier one

Has made matching sweatshirts for u two (sugar daddy kenma 🤑🤑)

When he gets bored he looks at wedding rings PLS

His most used emoji is this one 🥱 bc the gc (w anyone in it tbh 💀) annoys him so he uses it a lot.

His second most used one is 😚 bc he is secretly soft w u

Has and would wear a maid dress (that’s so hot goodbye)

Three words. Sugar daddy kenma.

Three more words. Soft boy kenma.

Those are his two moods 😋🦶

Would hate it if I used the foot emoji randomly even tho I do but he still prob hates it pls-

I FEEL LIKE HES INTO ASTROLOGY IDK WHY

secretly a weeb? secretly a weeb.

He’s a nerd pls

When he’s the ceo of bouncing ball Corp- 🥴😻😋🥺💗💖💕💓. Ew Michelle stop this is hcs not u thirsting over kozu. Stop. Touch grass.

Has and will pick up ur ‘slang’ or how u text (if ur not a dry texter bc that’s already him)

Shows his love wo words if that makes sense. Like ik it does but like idk how to elaborate. Imma just leave that there then 😋

Can we all collectively agree that kenma would spoil u and not him? Like I just feel like his mind is:

You

Video games

Food

Spending time with you

Him

Kuroo

Like I just feel like that’s his mind

Guys I’m so in love w him and I’m still confused as to what his last name or first name is help. Like my friend told me his first name is kozume but then google is confusing me help.

SMART ‼️ BOI ‼️

Def loves study dates

Will act cold but then will also not? Idk mans is just so like half and half. WAIT FUCK DO I HAVE A TYPE? Kenma, kags, todoroki... FUCK.

Anyways...

have a panic attack? Kenma is there to help. Cant game? Issok Kenma will help. Shy and touch deprived? So is he. But he’s still there to help. Getting a feel for what I’m saying?

He will and has made playlists for every date y’all go on, even if it’s the same thing, he will still make a new playlist

Makes food terribly. Like he cannot cook for shit.

Ideal date: bullying kids in roblox together/making drama in royale high 🥺😻 wow so romantic 🤠

I’m not joking tho that seems like such a fun date pls-

If you wanna talk shit ab anyone this bitch has dirt on them I just know it-

Has an album of photos of just u 🥺

If he smells food, he will run to it idc what he’s doing he will run to it

*y’all cuddling*

*he smells hot food*

*your boyfriend: gone.* 🤨🤨

LIKE THIS BITCH- I understand tho.

SWEET MF TOOTH

Immediate brownie points if u smell good

If u cant game, that’s like telling a frat boy ur a virgin.

If you don’t LIKE to game tho, that’s like telling a frat boy u don’t wanna hook up

Censors the word k*ss I just know it.

He would be the one to tell u I l*ve you first but u would initiate the first k*ss

Secretly loves it when kuroo ships u two 😚😻

HELP THIS WAS SO LONG- anyways hope u enjoyed !!

General taglist: @babyshoyo

[daydreamindollie]

FINALLY GOT BACK INTO WRITING SMTH THIS MORNING

it's like super self indulgent tho, and tailored to this one vv specific daydream of mine so I'll never post it,, BUT REGARDLESS !!! im really happy that I got to write smth at least ! and I'm currently still writing,, but I wanted to tell you cuz you inspired me to write !

which brings me to my next point ! who are your bangtan + svt biases ??? I wanna write you smth

YES!!! that's what we like to hear!

don't worry about that, those are the best since they personal and can elicit more emotion and descriptive writing out of you!

most of my writing on both of my accounts are all self-indulgent so i can easily babble on if i wanted to XD i needed to learn the art of letting things go and keeping moments short

that's brilliant! you've got this! i'm sure it'll turn out amazing and get lots of notes <333

awwww~ that's so sweet! omg! stop it you! i may have given you inspiration but you're the one writing and all of that credit goes to you!

my ultimate bias is Jungkook bc i can relate to him on so many things but my bias wrecker would have to be Taehyung XD a perfect mix of them would make my ideal type >////<

as for SVT, my bias would have to be Hoshi and Mingyu <3

do you have biases too? it doesn't have to be BTS or SVT

[paddymoonstruck]

𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬┃𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

chapter two

warnings: season 4/manga spoilers, mentions and depictions of death, death, war, cursing, angst, eren being an asshole 

word count: 6,406

notes: PROCEED WITH CAUTION major season four/manga spoilers ahead !!! ALSO — I’ve read the last chapter and bestie lmao — i just wanted to pour the dread I felt by posting this chapter since it is also vv sad!!!!  ENJOY THOUGH !!!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER/S: moodboard/prologue, one 

𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞

A malicious smirk curled upon the lips of a certain brunette, head peaking from the corner of a concrete housing. His bright, turquoise irises scanned the friend group of his intended target, arms linked one after the other, walking towards to door that led to the hallway of the dorms. 

“Eren, is this really necessary?” Armin whispered beside Eren, his voice shook in the slightest as he watched the bunch near the door. 

Eren scoffed, nodding his head firmly, never taking his eyes off of them. “It wouldn’t have to be if she didn’t pour salt on my oatmeal earlier . . .” The frown that decorated his face was fleeting, the scheming glint present again, as anticipation bubbled in his stomach.

Devon Janea stretched her hand out, placing in on the metal knob, she laughed along to what ever Sasha and Nifa were chatting about. Her palm twisted the knob, giving it a light push. A soft clank ticked above her head, followed by the liquid  icy flow that took her awhile to recognize as water. It cascaded from her head down to her boots. 

Both of her companion let out a gasp, pulling the wooden bucket that had fallen on their friend’s head. 

Eren’s smirk, shifted into a series of baffling hysterics, his gaze pointed at the now soaking wet Survey Corps uniform of Devon. Her golden brown locks dampened, turning them a shade darker. 

Despite the numbing sensation of Devon’s body, she managed to catch wind of someone laughing annoyingly loud. Her suspicions were confirmed as her vision landed on an elated piece of shit kneeling on the ground, clutching his stomach a few feet away from them. 

She made eye contact with a pair of ocean eyes as she looked up, which immediately swam in mercy. If she wasn’t freezing to death, she would’ve laughed at the fear on Armin’s face but she was able to comprehend was the desire to crush Eren Yeager’s skull into ash. 

“Oi, Yeager!” She bellowed, unclipping her soiled cape from her back. 

“You’re gonna get it now . . .” Nifa mumbled, earning an enthusiastic giggle from Sasha.

Eren stood from his place, chortling toned down to occasional chuckles, he crossed his arms to his chest, observing Devon’s shaking form as she approach him. 

The exasperated expression that had morphed itself on her face never wavering. Her drenched footwear squelched under the Earth’s pressure. “You have five seconds to tell me why — oh why you did that.” 

Apparently, the seething irritation Devon carried in her tone triggered Eren’s funny-bone because not a second later, stupid laughs poured away from his very much punchable mouth. 

It was short-lived, however — since Devon’s patience had ran thin and next thing everyone knew, her arm swung back, fist colliding painfully against Eren’s abdominal area, producing a clean booming crunch. 

A series of oof’s can be heard behind her which she could’ve guessed were a few people who had came to witness this brawl that occurred quite frequently much to their squad captains’ displeasure.

He had stumbled back a few inches, ass meeting the soil. The agonized groan that escaped his lips were a blessing to Devon’s ears, and her eyes feast at the same suffering that contorted his face. 

Armin instantly came to his side, eyes wide in panic. 

Wringing her moistened hair in both hands, she raised an eyebrow as she saw Armin’s pleading eyes. “Don’t give me that look — “ She scorned, a mocking smile dressed her features. “He’s the idiot that came at me.”

Eren shot her a murdering daggers. “You started it!” 

A child — an immature child —

“Excuse me?” Devon questioned, hands settling on her hips. 

“You ruined my breakfast!” His voice boomed inspite the pain shooting at his stomach.

Devon pondered his words, brows furrowing in thought. Just then, a memory flashed between her eyes, producing an inelegant snort from her mouth.

A hand came to cup her lips instantly, doing little to conceal the blooming grin that had appeared.

“Oh, that.” She affirmed, voice filled with mirth. “In my defense, you kept kicking my leg for no reason— so—”

A foot after the other, she strided towards the boy who had now gotten off the ground, fists clenched at either sides. Regardless of the noticeable difference in their height, Devon stood tall, as she looked up at Eren.

“—technically, you started it . . .” She narrowed her eyes, staring at Eren’s equally annoyed ones.

Almost half a minute passed, the open courtyard remained quiet as both Scouts stared in each other down as if waiting for one of them to disintegrate into nothing but ash.

However, A firm cutting tsk made everyone flinch. Devon and Eren seem to stumbled back onto reality, goosebumps rising on their arms.

Both snapped their heads to the terrifyingly familiar sound and behold— with a deep scowl resting on his usually neutral face, Captain Levi tapped his foot next to the sploch of wetness on the ground.

His sharp glare cutting through the babbling Scouts in the middle of the scene. From the fair amount of distance, they were sure the Captain noticed their shaking figures.

“It wasn—”

“She di—”

The Captain’s raised palm silenced both the excuses that came rushing out their mouths, clamping them shut in a split millisecond.

“Both of you—” He started, teeth gritting as he spoke. “No one gets a speck of lunch until you’ve cleaned this up.”

Resigned huffs and nods were their response, head hung low but burning glare for one another remained.

Her clammy hands clutched the fabric in a tighter vice, closed palms beginning to shake at the emotions that had invaded her mind.

Devon Janea was once again in a position she had promised herself to never indulge in— but as her eyes bore into the green cloth that held the symbol of freedom, her eyes began to sting, teeth in a compacted clench, causing a dull ache to reside in her mouth— an ache she couldn’t dare feel due to the greater torment, the object in her hands brought.

It was her old Scouts cape. She had kept it when they had announced the reinvention of the Survey Corps uniform. The cape meant a great deal to her yet every time she laid her eyes on it, nearly nothing joyful popped in her mind.

She despised the idea of hating this piece fabric— she hated it— but she somehow felt the need to.

All of the things that happened to her– good or bad, her cape hung on her shoulders and bore witness.

It was there— this old thing.

It was there when they went to battle mindless Titan’s outside of the walls. It was there when every stage of fear shot through her system every single time her squad-mates met their cruel demise.

In the times where she cried for her fallen comrades until the sun rose, she had hugged this piece of fabric to her chest, muffling her outmost despair.

It was there when she fell victim to Eren’s pranks and their childish fights. This was present in the time she had felt an outrageous amount of bliss regardless of the situation in the outside world– a time where all she thought about was surviving, with them.

But now— it was . . . gloomy.

A distant call from outside her window caught her attention and she immediately got to her feet, observing the armor that decorated her body. It was far from what they used to wear but nonetheless more efficient for their current predicament.

They were fighting humans now.

She had never thought this day would see the light but assumptions can always be shifted, can’t they?

It was baffling to her how they’d need more advanced and heavier equipment when it came to war against people in comparison to the weapons and wardrobe they utilized with Titans.

Big, scary, man-eating giants.

Her younger self would most probably shudder in fear if she saw her now. She’d ask her all these question in order to make sense of her actions and most likely pretend she understood when in fact, she’s been thinking of ways to turn her over onto a brighter leaf. 

As she tried to imitate a happy smile she used to carry, she could almost see her other self seething at the fabricated action. She gripped the straps of her black uniform, the material fitted like a second skin but very comfortable to move around in. 

With a last shake out of her doubtful thoughts, she grabbed the green cloak from the floor, hooking it across her chest while she ran down and into hell.

Time seemed to pass by quickly — that or Devon has been spacing out now and then as Commander Hange was explaining the plan of action. The parts Devon had caught irked her. 

“We’ll have to cover for Eren as much as we can . . .” Hange’s tired, but firm mutter echoed in the airship that has been prepared by Zeke Yeager and his most gracious disciples. 

“We have to assume that he’ll cause damages and openly declare war,” The commander nodded at them, her gaze flickered from one scout to another that surrounded the table in the middle of the room. “Jean, Connie, Sasha and Floch — watch out for enemies over at the west. Take half of Levi’s squad with you.” 

Devon watched the circle of her comrades as she rested her body on a nearby wall, eyes fleeting to Hange as she caught her gaze. 

“Devon,” The commanding tone in her voice caught Devon’s attention. “You and Mikasa are to find Eren — and once you do, keep close and make sure to have your eyes on him at all times.”

If it wasn’t for Devon’s self-proclamation to shut up and do as she’s told without complaints,, she would’ve jumped out this flying balloon hours ago. But, she matched Hange’s stoic glare, a nod confirming her cooperation was enough for the commander to continue her discussion.

In the corner of her eye, she could spot a figure walking towards her. She kept her gaze forward, clearing her throat once the said figure had stopped beside her.

“If you want to smack Eren, I won’t stop you,”

Be this a normal situation, Devon would no doubt laugh at Levi’s sudden statement. She twisted her neck to face him, she’s met with those steel, cool stare.

“I know.” She affirmed, folding her hands back, hiding the fidgeting of her fingers that had no plan on stopping until they’ve left this depressing island. “Maybe I will slap him later . . .”

She saw Captain Levi nodding along to her words, and despite not exactly saying anything else, Devon appreciated the random interaction that somehow calmed her nerves a little. 

The minutes of Hange talking was the only sound bouncing through the walls were indeed just minutes.

A deafening roar quaked the skies, Devon’s eyes shutting, hands coming up to cup her ears at the loud volume. 

Show time.

She stumbled at the front of the airship, hands finding support of its walls, her head peaked out the scene through the window. 

There he was. 

Or it.

The enormous Titan stood at an intimidating form of 15 meters, baring his muscled back to them. His roars continued to pierce their ear, making them flinch each time it rattled their hearing.

“There’s no time to waste!” Captain Levi’s command came riddling through all the commotion. “To your stations!” 

With that, the scouts saluted, each scrambling to get their equipment together as fast as they can. Devon instantly ran to her gear, hooking it around her waist. Her hands reached to take a hold of approximately ten thunderspears. The supposedly cool metal laid feverish on her palm but decided ignore it and resume to securing the heavy weapons on her shoulder.

Another angry roar and a series of frightened screams rattled her nerves yet she refused to waver at the thought of the situation outside.

“Mikasa,” Devon called, the attention of the raven haired girl turned to her, nodding. “C’mon, let’s finish this.”

Fire — blood — screams — explosions.

The list was dreadfully endless. With Mikasa to her right, they swung above the unfathomable condition of the town. Devon tried to avoid looking below but agonizing wails were impossible to ignore. 

She knew it would be a mistake to succumb to the temptation and just peak downwards. Beyond the apathetic eyes she had been giving nowadays, was that frightened little girl hidden behind Wall Rose. 

Looking down would mean remembering. 

It was unclear whether or not she opposed to it or not. Does she truly want to revisit that horrible time in her life in a crucial time like this?

“Don’t.”

Her thoughts lurched back at Mikasa’s sudden intrusion. Devon felt her eyes burn at the side of her face, urging her to return the gaze. Mikasa had a glint of tenderness in her eyes as she stared at Devon.

“Looking won’t help anyone.” As if she had read Devon’s mind, had her thinking if her conflicted thoughts showed on her face as well. 

“It won’t.” She agreed, exhaling a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. “Stand on that pillar, try to catch Eren’s attention — I’ll do the same on the that building at the left. Be careful not to be noticed by anyone else.”

The order came flying out of her mouth as Eren’s Titan form became more prominent to their vision. Mikasa swung to the direction Devon had ordered, leaving the latter to advance to her position. 

Devon’s boots slid on the worn down roof of a house, fragile bricks now easy to pick apart, resembling a puzzle containing several missing pieces. She stalked towards the edge of the roof, squatting down to uselessly watch the treacherous scene unfold in front of her. 

Eren turned, his eyes skimming through the civilians aimlessly racing away from him. Devon noticed how the large titan spun his head towards the right.

She had to squint to confirm that he did, in fact acknowledge Mikasa’s presence. A sigh of relief escaped her as she was sure of the exchange. 

Past her relief was a gash of radiant light amongst the cauldron dark covered skies. Her eyes could hardly accommodate the brightness that invaded her sights but she could make out a form of a skeleton, slowly evolving with flesh. 

She stumbled back at the thunderous punch the creature caught on its face. The tissues that haven’t fully developed yet squashed against Eren’s gigantic fist. Devon’s resistance to look away increased, with the amount of blows Eren delivered to the primitive titan as it wriggled uselessly below him.

A shot of a rifle snapped her attention away from the ongoing uproar to the source of the sudden gunshot. The thick layers of fog beneath the houses made it difficult to spot anything from where she sat.

At that moment, she hoped that Sasha and the others were able to place signal lights to ensure the clearance of enemies. She swayed her head hoping to catch a glimpse at anything suspicious from that direction but she was met with darkness and smog. 

Devon gasped, hand abruptly clutching at the end of the roof as the ground trembled, followed by a loud groan which brought her attention back to Eren.

Her eyes widened at his state. His stomach now impaled in the center by a large pointy crystal lifting his limp body in the air. The titan seemed to have completed it’s transformation as it now stood, smoke seeping out of its shoulder, waiting for its arms to grow back. 

She had never seen anything quite like it, despite being able to witness numerous unbelievable things in her days. The titan seemed to possess to ability to create structures using hardening, allowing it to make to spike it used to pierce Eren. 

The strength this Titan possessed chilled her blood, instinctively look towards Mikasa. Luckily, she had her eyes on her too. And beyond the disaster, the distress that covered her features relaxed as Mikasa brought her palm up as a symbol to wait.

She turned her head back, fists balling tighter as the Titan grew a hammer on her hand, clutching the long handle. Devon repressed the urge to step in as it barreled the object towards an unmoving Eren, successfully smashing the crystal altogether. 

Devon’s panic simmered down as a slightly smaller version of Eren’s titan emerged amidst the smoke. 

Continuous flashes of light and booms of canons interrupted the fleeting solace Devon felt. Somehow, with all of those heavy weaponry, she was finally able to see the series of soldiers lined up nearly in front of Eren.

She saw his fingertips turn icy, incasing them in Titan hardening as he came up to cup his nape. He growled at his attackers, not noticing how to white fleshed titan swung back its hammer. He turned too late, only being able to provide his arms as a weak protectant. 

Devon’s patience wore thin as she merely continued to watch as Eren was rid of his hands. 

“The War Hammer Titan is a monster!” A joyful screech amongst the gloomy atmosphere pierced her ears.

War Hammer 

“That’s what it’s called . . .” She muttered to herself, scowling at the name. “How corny.”

“It’s really going to finish off!”

Whoever it was, Devon wanted nothing more than to shut them up. Anxiety welled up inside her as the War Hammer Titan raised its weapon again, slowing as a figure — Eren  — resurfaced from his Titan form.

She couldn’t help the feeling of a hefty weight being lifted out from her shoulders as she set eyes on his figure. 

“Usurper, Eren Yeager,” The War Hammer spoke. “Do you have any last words?”

Although she could only see his back, a long inhale propelled her lips. 

“Now or never, Mikasa.”

Loud and clear, Devon waited for it. As signaled, Mikasa’s form came rushing in the scene, almost too fast to be caught by the naked eye. She raised her arms, plowing a hefty sequence of thunderspears in the air and into the War Hammer’s neck, slotting it perfectly. 

The release of the clip prompted its ear-splitting eruptions, blowing off its nape. Mikasa spun her body, eyes spotting Devon’s, an understanding nod between the two was exchanged and that was all it took.

She went off flying towards Eren, her heart pounding louder into her ears as she grew closer to his form. Before she could muster anything to say, Eren spoke.

“You guys actually came. . .” 

Despite the lack of emotion on his face, Devon could hear the faint surprise in his tone. An unknown feeling of displeasure spanned on her chest as she examined the side of Eren’s face.

She noted the few but undeniably noticeable changes in his appearance compared  to the last time she has seen him, reminding her of the many days they have been apart. His hair had grown past his shoulders, little stubbles have made it’s on his upper lip and — she would love to be wrong . . . she hopes she was because if she wasn’t mistaken, the vibrant turquoise hue in his eyes had dimmed into a spiritless pair of orbs.

The frown on her face didn’t falter, choosing to finally respond to him, “They were worried about you.” The admission seemed half-hearted yet she felt the need to tell him that in the moment. 

“Eren,” In other circumstances, the hammering in her chest would absolutely delight her, but the one she was currently having flooded her with outmost dread, eyes piercing in to Eren’s own. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

Devon found herself crouching beside him, as if he wouldn’t hear him if she stood. “You’ve murdered all these people —” She had to stop speaking, aiding the ache of her mouth as the words dawned to her. “No amount of reasoning could save you from this." 

The heavy sigh she released helped lightened the tightness on her chest, looking at her feet, the heat of Eren’s Titan flesh seeping through her body. 

“Eren,” The tense exchange was cut short as Mikasa landed beside Devon, calling his attention. “Please, let’s go home . . .”

“It’s not over yet.” At his claim, both girls’ features morphed into confusion.

“What —” Devon’s eyes widened, stopping the query on her tongue. “Motherfucker — “

The ground rumbled along with the rise of the War Hammer Titan.  Slowly, it started getting up, its palm pressing against its head, pushing it back onto the body effortlessly.

“That’s impossible!” The incredulous tone Mikasa expressed was no different from the look that Devon gave to astonishing incident playing before their eyes. “I blew off its nape!”

“And I crushed it with all my strength,” Eren added, his monotone voice unwavering as he studied the titan. 

“Mikasa!” Devon’s body acted before her mind, eyes laying on the sparks blossoming on thee Titan’s hand, a crossbow has come to life. 

As an instinct, she grabbed Eren, a hand coming up to his waist, the other pointing her ODM gear at the first concrete she looked at. She fired the equipment, grapple shooting out. When it hooked on the infrastructure, she wasted no time to tug Eren out of the titan flesh and onto the air with her, just in time before the arrow hit their previous place. 

It had been several minutes since the Scouts retreated back into the airship. Eren was able to devour the War Hammer, nearly getting to the Jaw Titan if it wasn’t for Reiner Braun’s unexpected appearance.

 The loud cheers resonated along the walls, bouncing back outside as they celebrated a mission success.

Devon would be lying if she said she doesn’t feel the uneasiness leaving her chest, as her head weaved through the crowd, eyeing everyone’s condition. 

Thankfully, no one was hurt, perhaps a bit of cuts and scratches but besides that, they were all well. 

A smile slithered it’s way to her lips, watching her comrades. Floch leads the bunch, raising his fist in the air. “It’s a huge victory! The New Eldians Empire ends in victory!” He declared, earning gleeful shouts of affirmation. 

His words, however, stabbed Devon back into a harsh reality, face twisting into a crestfallen frown. Determined to keep her thoughts at bay, glanced to the side, finding Jean, Connie and Sasha huddled close to the open door.

She sauntered to them, resting on her knees to be at their level. “I’m so glad you’re all safe . . .” She muttered, a grateful gleam in her eyes sparkled, throwing her arms around the three. 

Sasha, being at the middle, curled both her hands  around Devon’s waist, the other two doing the same in their respective side. 

Connie, of course, had to clap back at the intimate moment, mumbling against Devon’s shoulder. “You smell like shit, Janea . . .”

They laughed, shoulders shaking. Devon extended her arm to smack Connie behind his head, making the latter flinch but grin as he spotted the glare she sent him. 

“You’re one to talk,” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You look like shit.”

He stuck his tongue out, shaking his head at the brunette. Said brunette merely smirked before standing, landing a soft pat at each of their heads. “Good job, guys . . . I’ll just go check on Eren.” 

They nodded simultaneously, understanding the look on Devon’s face as she turned back towards the hallway but not before hearing Sasha’s enthusiastic yell.

“Let’s celebrate and eat a lot when we get home!”

Devon looked back over her shoulder, flashing her a bright grin and nodded. “I call pork stew!” She laughed, heart warming at Sasha’s beaming smile.

As she went on her way, wooden flooring creaked beneath the weight of her boots, approaching the men contained in the area. Her eyes wandered down, noting how Eren was sat on the floor, a scout pointing a gun at him while Captain Levi glared right through his soul.

“Captain,” She announced her presence, garnering closer to them, inclining her head as a sign of respect

Levi didn’t look away, “Cheer up,” He spat instead, “Everything happened like you wanted,”

Maybe it was her buzzing mind, or the overall exhaustion finally catching up to her. But until she followed their gaze, she didn’t notice Zeke Yeager perched on the wall at the end of the hall, steam leaching out from where his missing limbs were once attached. 

“Jenea,” At Levi’s voice, Devon snapped up to meet his eyes. “Bind him with this,”

Before she could react, Levi had thrust a wheeled rope on her hands, leaving her with no choice but to grip the braided strands. She didn’t get a chance to respond, seeing the Captain and his fellow squad member exit the room.

Suddenly, Devon recalls the short exchange she had with Levi before leaping into battle, The thought caused her to peer down at the same person that was their topic of interest was now at her hostage. 

Eren was already staring back at her, making her eyes narrow the longer she looked into his. The turmoil sprouting at her conscience wasn’t a pleasant indication. Yet, she shut her eyes for a moment hoping to calm her aggression.

When she felt it was enough, she opened them back up, swiveling her head to Eren’s direction. He had his wrists offered to her, beckoning her to get to it. 

Without a word spoken, Devon crouched down and began to swathe his hands together, placing a cloth between his palms to prevent him from slashing himself. 

“I’m not going to turn into a titan in an airship.”

Devon kept her concentration at the knot she was forming, grasped pulling against the binds, further restraining his movements.

“You’ll never know,” She whispered, retaining her hands on his wrist despite accomplishing her task.

The silence was unbearable, yet Devon resisted the impulsive sentences bunching up her mouth. She wanted him to say something— anything that could possibly tame the anger she had for him.

Flickering lights on the hallway continued, baring the stiff aura that pattered heavily upon the narrow space. Devon and Eren very much indulged in their staring contest.

It was akin to glasses at the edge of the table, waiting for one to finally fall and shatter into microscopic pieces.

As aggravating as the soundless room is, Devon’s pride was far too great to break it, eyes boring into the orbs she once adored. She began to think to herself of the things that might have happened for Eren to be brought back to her this lifeless.

The more time she invested looking at him, the wrenched ache in her chest became torturous. She wasn’t entirely aware what came over her, but her hand was already poised up in the air, her palm connecting against Eren’s cheek.

A graciously blaring slap, echoed against the room, probably heard around the whole airship. His head banging into the wall next to him, relishing the strength of the contact

Even being the one to strike, Devon’s hand burned at the impact, making hiss, the other hand shooting up to soothe her stinging palm.

Her eyes were blurry when she looked back to Eren, cheek had started to redden. All the reserved attitude she had been building up the whole day demolished simply by entertaining Eren Yeager’s presence.

She knew it wouldn’t be pleasant but she failed to recognize exactly how distressing it would be. Her chest was heaving, palm clawing at the skin, hoping for the ache to lighten.

“Devon,”

She was wrong. The initial thought of having him talk flew out her mind when she finally heard his voice. In the quite space they stood in, it seemed annoying loud. Despite merely whispering her name, it was like he had yelled in her ear, which made her cover them as she was currently doing.

“No—” Her voice shook, failing to maintain the authority in her tone. “Shut the fuck up, Yegear.”

She spun on her heel, turning her back on him, rolling her head up to gaze at the wooden ceiling. Her breath was still uneven as she exhaled, running a trembling hand along her locks.

“Wha–what did you hope to achieve?” She asked, pouring out frustration at every word. “I really want to understand— just please . . .”

I don’t want to hate you, she wanted to say but decided against it. Deeming the phrase inappropriate for the situation.

Without even having her eyes on him, Eren was well aware of her raging desperation. He knew why she was insistent and what exactly she wanted from him.

But all he had to say was, “It’s for everyone’s safety.”

If Devon was a volcano, she would’ve exploded right then and there. The bubbling vexation coursing through her veins made her head spin.

“Never in my life . . . and I mean never — have I despised a phrase as much!” She chuckled, no humor could be detected in the smile she flashed Eren when she turned around. “Is that it? Does that make all of this— justifiable?” 

The blaze looming up her throat whenever she became a tad mindful of his eyes were indescribable. It infuriated her as she took in the state of the pair. So much that she felt to need to shield them from her vision. 

“I don’t know what else you’re asking of me.” 

At his blunt statement, Devon had difficulties deciphering which of her swirling emotions she wanted to project due to the outrage and melancholy submerging her sane conscience. 

The little energy she had left prompted her to merely gape at his slouched figure, knotted wrists sat patiently at his lap. She lost the ability to make sense of his actions as his glare punctured her soul, sending an uncomfortable twinge in her heart.

“What happened to you?” Her hand slid to her neck, rubbing soothing circles to aid her shuddering tone. “I was angry the night before we came here . . . and even then, I still hoped for your safety— I hated that you left but I continued to believe that you had a good motive,” She willed herself to keep her eyes on him despite the impending urge to do otherwise. “But seeing you now — I’m beginning to doubt your stand in all of this . . .” 

Being honest was something she wanted to do, even if she was in no way prepared for Eren’s response. She had to let him know as much as she needed proper answers to the swarm of questions she had thrown at him. 

She touched her shoulder, wringing out the knot that was starting to form, as she ignored the noticeable tremble of her fingers. “You showed no mercy to anyone in this city — “

“No one deserved mercy — “

“Not even those children?” She was quick to surface the topic again, wide eyed as she awaited his reply. 

It was one that made her heart stop, breath hitched at her throat. 

“We were children too when something similar to this happened, weren’t we?” The way he delivered his question with no anger, but pure confusion halted Devon’s arguments, instead opting to study his expressions.

He spoke of nothing else but truth. They were children when Wall Maria was breached by the Armored Titan. In spite of not being a resident of that town, she was coincidently present when it occurred.

A dangerous chill cascaded along her spine at the memory of her younger sister. The image burned into her skull for eternity, how her little body got brutally smashed by a massive concrete that wiped out every thing in the perimeter she was standing on.

Devon lived with the regret of not being beside her, and letting her run further ahead without knowing it would be the sole cause of her demise. 

“And we weren’t at fault just like those children.” Her resolve quaked in the slightest but she stood her ground. “They didn’t have any idea what was happening — They were just as clueless as us . . .”

Exhaustion was taking over Devon’s sight, far too tired to have a sensible conversation with Eren except the stubborn part of her refused to waver. 

“Will you really no tell me?” Her persistence was starting to sound desperate, as she searched his eyes for the tiniest bit of sparkle she used to admire. Eyes drooped, her hands tugged at the rope on his wrists, pulling him closer as if she’d see what she was seeking in this proximity. 

She nearly smacked herself at how foolish her thoughts had become. Perhaps it came from the perplexing sentiments she had for the brunette, those sleepless nights her mind wandered to him, as she sat on her bed waiting for him to make his way back. 

Devon had buried emotions she deemed improper, and became more secluded when Eren left. She barely opened up to any of her close friends, fixing her face into a defaulted smile at times she felt the most unwell. 

To see Eren give her the look she had been dealing with every time she stared at her reflection shoved her into a state of panic, immediately ambushing him with questions she knew would go unanswered. 

With a deep sigh, she dropped her hand from its place, resting it on her side. “Alright . . . it would be a few hours until we reach Parad — “

A powerful bang startled them, Devon’s heart lurching on her chest as it had dawned to her that it was a gunshot. She stood rigid, unable to function despite the sudden commotion happening just behind the door at her right. 

Fear rippled through her system as the furious yells turned into desperate pleas. Her throat ran dry at the single name a mix of voices shouted.

“SASHA!”

That fear was physically resurfaced as her palms suddenly felt damp, blood turning sickeningly cold. She eventually willed herself to snap out of it, grabbing the doorknob, almost flinching at the freezing kiss on her fingertips.

Too occupied by her thoughts, she hadn’t realized, she had pushed the door open until Connie’s deafening yell broke her cloudy mind.

“DEVON—” Her eyes snapped towards the panicked voice, unable to ignore it. A wish for it all to go away was the first thing that came to her as she eyed the fimilliar head of reddish brown hair that laid unmoving on the floor.

She struggled to react, helplessly trudging towards Sasha. “Sasha—” A shake at the shoulder was her initial response, shock still fresh in her mind. “Hey— Sasha! Hold on, okay? Stay with me—” Devon’s palm snaked to grasp Sasha’s, pressing harder, hoping to transfer some of her warmth to her terrifyingly algid skin.

Devon’s lips came down to where their hands were connected, breathing tepid blows onto Sasha’s palm.

“Nico—”

Hope sparked in Devon’s chest at the sound of Sasha’s hoarse voice, deflating the moment she notcied the severity of her condition.

“Is dinner ready?” The sob Devon released pained her commarades as they watched on, tears falling from their eyes as well.

“Sasha— Sasha . . .” Devon’s pleas grew hopless, as she delivered an impervious squeeze on her palm. “Please— don’t leave me . . .”

Sasha’s name spilled from her lips repeatedly, noticing the delirious swarm in her eyes, knuckles bathed in unceasing downpour of hurt dripping from her green orbs.

An unbelievablely excruciating pang barreled on her chest, as she felt the weak grasp of Sasha’s hand turn limp on her own.

“N— NO! PLEASE . . .” Fright surged on her bones, shaking hands slamming onto Sasha’s shoulders. Devon shook her still form, movements lumbered due to the amount of tears clouding her vision. The headache she had earlier worsened terrible, as it was forced to process the horrific scene laid out in front of her.

The tips of her fingers felt numb, as she caressed Sasha’s freezing skin, index and middle digit crawling up the side of her neck, gently searching for her pulse.

Although hope was wearing thin, she still found the strength to press at the spot, pausing for a second before shaking her head.

Connie’s hand that was applying pressure to the gaping wound on her abdomen loosen, as he drew in a sharp breath.

Jean, still having his ears shielded by his palms, had found the courage to turn around to see a heartbreaking image that will surely be imprinted on his brain for all eternity.

A series of loud cries erupted around her, making her realize that she had stopped weeping. The weight on her chest still unbearable yet she felt far too numb to acknowledge it.

Her eyes drifted to the door she had been in before the tragic accident, disappointment bubbling up her throat, not at Eren but at herself because even then, she couldn’t bring herself to be angry at him.

A single question hung lax of the fragments of her wits.

Why?

Why did Eren choose to do what he did? Why did Sasha have to be a victim of this monstrosity?

No doubt, this war was to further worsen, Sasha won’t be the last one to suffer the end of this bargain.

The fire of unwavering adherence set ablaze in her remaining morals, determined to unseal Eren’s true motives for his repeated sentiment; for everyone’s safety.

Eren was not an enemy, but he does serve as a threath if he continues to feed them obscure reassurances that might put them in a danger like this. The enemy was the thoughts boiling in his head, caging him alone with those possibly sinister notions.

Devon had a great hunch that Eren gives vague answers because he was hinding something important, a plan he knew they wouldn’t agree on.

Perhaps it was her drained sanity thinking, but Devon have passed the stage of giving a damn as she let the thought worm into her brain.

If she can’t beat the enemy, she would have to join them.

[rdrhoe]

daddy dutch x fem reader here we goo

my first ever fanfic for the red dead community i wrote this as complete self indulgent pwp whilst vv high

warnings: hella daddy dutch, spanking, dom/sub, angsty ish maybe

part 1 of 2 (2 is here)

& on ao3

Dutch is pissed that you stormed off after an argument. now you gotta face the consequences >:)

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

You drew in a shaky breath as you made your way through the night, finally heading towards the swamps where Shady Belle lurked. Having spent the last couple of nights busying yourself on the streets and surrounding area of Saint Denis, you missed your bed and the gang, but most of all you missed Dutch. You were scared. Scared to go home, back to camp.

You'd had a disagreement with Dutch and decided there and then the best course of action was to simply leave. In part because you'd had enough of his shit, but also because you had an almost violent need to prove to yourself that you still could survive alone. You didn't need him, not like that. But your heart and soul needed him. He unlocked feelings within you that you had never known, only dreaming of, but god he did grate on you sometimes.

He had insisted you start staying behind on more jobs and it just irked you. Being inconspicuous and nimble was how you found yourself in the gang in the first place, sneaking through windows into people's homestead in the dead of night, quietly robbing them of everything and anything valuable they possessed.

That had sort of become your role in the gang. When Dutch and the boys would go out on a job, you would either join them in whatever scam or con they were cooking up - no one ever suspected you of a thing, you were too polite and innocent with folk to be a no good thief - or would scope out nearby towns and homesteads, sometimes alone, sometimes with Dutch, sometimes with a few of the others, but you were always free to do what you wanted; within Dutchs limitations of course.

But lately, things hadn't always been going to plan. You thought Dutch hadn't been acting quite himself, and you made sure to tell him as much. Ever since Blackwater, and that nasty business in Rhodes, you'd just lost all hope. You weren't seeing life through rose tinted glasses anymore. But you loved Dutch, loved the gang... most of them anyway. As you grew closer to camp, your mind was racing with your last conversation with Dutch.

"Can't you understand, sweet girl? I'm just trying to protect you, keep you safe-" Dutch had told you when you when you confronted him on being left behind for the hundredth time. You'd been repeating yourself a lot lately, as had he with his responses. There was always an amused glint in his eyes, a hint of a smirk daring to poke through on his lips. He found your 'tantrums' adorable and often told you as much.

"Oh don't give me that shit Dutch" you snapped at him "this isn't about keeping me safe, you know damn well I can protect myself! You just adore the idea of having your own personal whore...always waiting around for you an keeping your bed warm!"

You cringed at how you sounded, you knew you were coming off as shrill and your voice died you when you saw Dutch stand from his chair near the fire. The amusement that played on his face before was now replaced with one of annoyance.

"Watch your mouth, girl. I understand you're... upset," he grabbed your hair as he stalked closer to you, twisting it so you gasped as he forced your neck up to look at him. "Don't you dare be forgetting your place now, sweet thing"

"my place!? My place?? so I am just a whore to you-"

"Sweetheart, you know that's not true, but I'm growing increasingly tired of your attitude," he spoke harshly into your ear, before easing his grip on your hair, his voice becoming softer "I've lost too many already, I can't lose you too"

You stiffened as tears threatened to spring to yours eyes.

"I... that's not fair Dutch, if you had just listened-" you tried

"No. Enough. The answer is final. You're to stay here unless I say otherwise. There's nothing more to be said. This is for your own good, girl. I know what's best for you" he let go of your hair completely to tilt your chin up, looking at you with a fierce intensity. You knew, looking into his eyes then, you loved him, so very very much, and you knew he loved you too. But god you were angry. You had survived alone for years without his help, and when you tried to voice that to him, he had already turned away, muttering about wanting to finish off a chapter of his latest read, when something in you just snapped.

"Fuck you, Dutch" you turned and stormed off not awaiting his response. You heard him call your name as you had stomped off. Others had questioned you, asked what was wrong, where you were going...

You climbed onto your horse, ignoring the shouts and questions, and rode out into the night.

That had been two nights ago now, and you regretted your actions. You knew Dutch was trying to keep you safe, you could see that, and if you were being honest with yourself, you didn't mind not having to go out on jobs as much. The thrill you used to feel from robbing bad folk had been replaced by a constant gnawing anxiety that something would go wrong, because more often or not, something usually did go wrong. But rather, it was the way Dutch would talk to you. Belittle you. Insisting it was him and only him that knew what was best for you. If he just listened to you once in a while, actually take your advice on a job, things could go differently, but he was stubborn. You were too, and that was often how you found yourself in disagreements with him. But he'd been worse lately; ignoring your thoughts and feelings on everything, and you just couldn't take it anymore.

You tried to steady yourself as Shady Belle appeared in your eye line. You were doing your best not to think too hard about what Dutch was going to do to you, it was the principle of the thing! But the confidence you had tried to instil in yourself soon vanished once you saw Dutch's' silhouette atop of the balcony. His cigar smoke circling around, clouding his face. Not that you could see him clearly anyway, it was too dark.

You took several deep breaths as you climbed down off your horse. Most of the camp were asleep, but a few were sat talking quietly by the campfire. Their voices cut off as they saw you, rushing over to check on you. You hurriedly reassured them, you were fine, you had just needed space, time to think.

And that's what you done. You knew you had messed up, and honestly right now more than anything you just wanted to feel Dutchs arms around you, telling you what a good girl you were. You craved his praise and affection, but ferociously loved the darker side of him too. One that would come out when you disobeyed or angered him. He had punished you countless times since the start of your relationship, often because you had purposely pushed his buttons too hard, knowing the sort of response you'd get from him. You craved the feeling of being at his complete and utter mercy. Just as Dutch craved having you beneath him, begging for him. He didn't mind your bratty attitude most of the time, using it as a decent excuse to do all the wicked things he had always desired. But this wasn't just pushing his buttons, you knew he would view it as you putting yourself in danger, running off had been the last thing you would usually do, but you were so sick of trying to talk to him when he just never listens.

After assuring the awake gang members of your safety, you found your way into the old Manor house, eerily beautiful at times, even with it being lost past its glory. Slowly heading up the stairs toward your shared room with Dutch. You hesitated as you approached the door, before reaching up to knock. The second your knuckles graced the wood, the door flung open and you found yourself being hauled into the room by Dutch, slamming the door closed and pushing your back up against it, caging his arms against either side of your head. Eyes dark and burning, staring down at you.

"Where have you been, dear girl?" his voice gave you chills, he wasn't yelling, not yet. But there was a tone of malice, a sneer at your audacity. "I've been worried, I sent Arthur and Charles out looking for you, but seems you were too quick even for them. Clever girl" Dutch spoke slowly, and quietly.

You though it best not to mention you had indeed seen the both of them looking for you, but dashed off without a trace before anyone knew otherwise.

His eyes studied your face carefully. You couldn't match his gaze, choosing to stare at the floor. Dutch lifted your chin, encouraging you to look at him.

"Are you hurt, darling?" he asked softly.

You shook your head slowly, trying to keep your breathing steady.

He hummed. His grip on your chin becoming firmer.

"Well then sweet thing, I'm going to need you to explain to me.." Dutchs hand travelled from your chin down to your neck as he spoke, gripping it just hard enough you could feel his rings digging into your flesh, but not so hard that your breathing was fully cut off, "as to why you think running off on your own like that was an okay thing to do, hm?" the hand around your throat became impossibly tight, just for a moment, before easing off again, giving you a moment to respond.

"I... I..." you tried to steady yourself, trying to find the right words to say. ".. I'm sorry, Dutch...really I just, got sick of being spoken to like a damn child and-" Dutchs grip became like iron then, cutting off your planned excuse. A whimper caught in your throat as your hands flew to up grip his wrist, eyes widening. He gave you a dark glare before crashing his lips to yours. It wasn't soft and tender, it was hard and biting. Making sure you understood your place.

"So, my girl," Dutch began as he withdrew the kiss, relaxing his tight grip on your throat, "if I'm to understand you correctly, in response to being supposedly treated like a child, you decided to act none other than a child, a spoilt little brat who's not getting her way?"

Dutch was beginning to sound angrier by the second. You were trying to focus on his words, how much trouble you were in, but you couldn't ignore the tingling between your legs, you could feel yourself getting wetter the deeper his voice became. You were squirming already, trying to maintain a decorum of composure, opening your mouth to respond, he cut you off before you could get the words out.

"Oh sweet thing, you really do test my patience like no other," Dutch spoke, holding you close for a moment, before pushing you into the middle of the room.

"Strip." the order was barked out faster than you could blink. You stood there for a moment too long for Dutch, who practically started growling at you.

"you listening, girl? Strip, now"

You reached around shakily to start unlacing your dress and bodice, whilst Dutch slowly began making his way across the room, bringing a fresh cigar to his mouth to light it.

You were down to your chemise and bloomers, staring up at Dutch, aware of the way he was scowling at you. You weren't trying to annoy him, you were just in awe of him. He always looked so handsome, especially like this. Moonlight beaming in through the windows, giving his glare just enough light to look all the more menacing, yet still somehow so enticing.

You quickly stripped yourself of your remaining garments when he quirked a brow at you, fighting against the urge to cover yourself under Dutchs heavy gaze. He'd seen you naked plenty of times before of course, but the way he was staring at you was making you squirm.

Dutchs eyes raked over your nude form, taking in your beauty for his enjoyment. All the whilst continue to slowly circle around you, enjoying his cigar. Bastard.

"You do understand how much trouble you're in right now, girl?" Dutch said from behind you, his steady pace coming to a stop.

You shivered as he approached, with him being so close you could practically feel the anger radiating off of him.

"I was sick with worry, thinking the worst...and all because my little princess decided to be a brat. Were you trying to scare your Daddy, sweetheart?" Dutch sounded so menacing then, causing you to shiver with anticipation.

"N-no, Dutch-" you were interrupted when you felt a sharp smack on your backside, making you to squeal.

"What was that, girl?" Dutch snarled at you.

"Daddy!" you tried again, "I'm sorry daddy... I didn't mean to..." you started shaking, understanding how worried Dutch really had been.

Dutch hummed behind you, walking around slowly til he was standing in front of you. You stared at the floorboards, fiddling with your fingers. You heard him sigh and walk away, and glanced up to see him disgarding his cigar in the ash tray and sitting on the bed.

"Come on, girl. You know what happens now" Dutch reached a hand out to you, which you took after a moments hesitation, but knew from expierence attempting to get out of a planned punishment usually didn't end too well for you.

Dutch took your hand gently, before hauling you over his knee, considerably less gentle. He only took a brief moment to palm and kneed at your backside before he brought his hand down. Hard. Right on the lower cheek, causing you to gasp out.

"Not going to be able to sit for a week after I'm through with you, brat" Dutch spoke as his hand came down again and again on your ass. You tried not to kick your legs or reach back, it would only egg Dutch on to spank harder. "Maybe I need to start spanking you daily, girl. Make sure you know your place. That you're mine, and you do as I say"

The spanks were quickly became harder and faster, going from cheek to cheek, never giving you a moment to rest, and making sure every inch of your poor butt was on fire.

You were squirming now, and didn't even realise before it was too late that you were reaching a hand back, only to have Dutchs' large hand grip your own, forcing it down to the small of your back. He positioned himself so he could haul you further over his knee, you were able to touch the floor with your free hand, but your feet were now dangling precariously off the other end, unable to touch the floor. You whimpered again.

"Naughty girl," Dutch chided, resuming his former sadistic pace of spanking, "You should know better than that by now, hm?"

"S-sorry Daddy! I... ow... M'sorry, I really really am.." you were really feeling it now, the stinging burn of his hand. Tears were now forming in your eyes. You knew this is what you wanted, no, needed... But it hurt so much, and you were starting to feel more sorry for yourself by the second, and yet, despite this, you still couldn't ignore the wetness that had become visible down your thighs. You knew Dutch could see it too, especially when he would ghost his hand ever so slightly above your glistening folds, growling and giving your pussy a sharp slap if you tried to push your thighs together.

"Quit squriming, brat. Or does Daddy need to teach you a lesson with his belt?" Dutchs sudden threat made you still, letting out a small whine of defeat. You most certainly did not want to expierence the belt tonight, he'd only used it on you a few times before, but the memories of the welts on your backside was enough to plead for mercy.

"I'll be good! Daddy! Please, I'm sorry-I'll be good... I promise.." you sniffled at him, trying to put on your sweetest voice, the one you knew went right to his dick. You could feel his hardness beneath you, doing your best not to grind yourself all over him, a challenge that was proving to become increasingly difficult.

You heard Dutch grumble, taking a moment to run his large hand all over your burning butt, before bringing his hand down over your heat, he suddenly pushed two fingers into your soaking wet core causing you to gasp out and clench up.

"My girl... what ever am I going to do with you, hm? Such a filthy little thing..." Dutchs voice was considerably softer now, but you knew he was still angry. Pumping his fingers in and out of you for a few seconds more, before removing them. You let out a moan, only to have Dutchs fingers shoved in your mouth, encouraging you to clean yourself off of him. He removed them once he felt you'd done a sufficient enough job.

"Gonna have to keep you locked in a damn cage at this rate, girl" Dutchs stern voice made you quiver. And it would be a lie to say the idea of being Dutchs personal play thing, kept locked away in a cage for his desire only, didn't arouse you.

You only had a brief moment more to fantasise on this idea however, before Dutch suddenly started spanking you again. Somehow, impossibly harder than before. You shrieked then, begging him to forgive you, promising complete obedience.

Dutch laughed at that, loud and mocking.

"Empty promises, my sweet girl. How many times have you promised those pretty words before, hm? You really are shameless aren't you? Naughty, naughty little thing..."

The smacks continued to rain down, Dutch would spank all over until he found a spot that made you whail, bringing his down on the exact same spot over and over again, chuckling at your futile attempts to avoid his wrath.

You wanted nothing more in that moment for Dutch to pull you into this arms and call you his good girl, tell you proud he was of you and all that you had done. But this wasn't one of those times, you deserved the punishment and you were starting to resent yourself for having such a strange desire to defy him, even his most simplist of requests you often found yourself snarling back at him, just so you could hear that tone of voice he used on you when you were pushing your luck a little too far.

You were sobbing now, giving up any and all attempts to get out of your current situation. Letting yourself go limp and weak over Dutchs knee. You heard him hum above you, the spanks ever so slowly becoming softer and softer, until they'd all but stopped. Dutchs hand being nothing more than a soothing grace.

"Beautiful..." you heard him whisper above you, relaxing into the soothing feel of his hand, a welcome change from the pain inflicted only moments before.

You started to apologise again, only to have Dutch hush you.

"No you're not girl, not yet anyway..." Dutch sounded horribly wicked as he spoke, and your stomach dropped with the realisation that your punishment wasn't over.

[lovelytarou]

comfort

pairing: bakugo katsuki x f!reader x bokuto koutaro

genre: fluff, a bit of angst(?)

tags: vv self-indulgent fic, mentions of being stressed, hurt/comfort (?), slight body worship, cross-over, tooth-rotting fluff, poly!relationship

a/n: was feeling emo in a while and i so badly wanted my comfort characters to, well, comfort me so here ya go :))

the movie was becoming boring as the seconds pass. the apartment was unusually silent, save for the constant mumbling from the black-and-white haired male pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the livingroom. the sound alone making bakugo restless as he released an exasperated sigh from his parted lips.

“would you quit it? you're making me stressed, too!” bakugo scolded the other male. the latter deflated like a balloon, his hair flopping down along with his expression.

“i'm just so worried about them! they haven't come out since morning and i miss them,” bokuto whined, staring longingly at the closed door of your shared bedroom. it has been hours since you told them that you needed time for yourself, with exams done and out of the way, a new semester looms itself over you, crushing you with its pressure. a promise of series of stresses about to greet you yet again.

they understand you needed to pass and have to work hard for a better future, but they also wanted you to take care of yourself and not neglect your needs. aside from that, it's been a while since the three of you get to spend time with each other.

“they said not to bother them. if you're worried that much then go and check on them,” bakugo scoffed, eyes turning back to the television. he's fooling nobody as he stared blankly at the screen, mind moving a mile a minute as he, too, thought about you. his brain conjuring up worried thoughts and scenarios that isn't good at all.

“eh? no, you come with me!” before bakugo could protest, he was hauled by bokuto's beefy arms as he was dragged in front of your bedroom door. he could only click his tongue in annoyance at the male, as he glanced at the wood separating you from the two of them. you're so close yet so far away.

he let a minute pass, then another, before deciding that ‘fuck it’ and knocked.

there was no response. bokuto stood beside him, anxiety written all over his expressive face as he fiddled with his own thick fingers. their eyes met when you didn't respond to another knock.

“we're coming in!” bakugo announced, twisting the knob before peeking both their heads inside the door.

their breaths hitched when they found you slumped over your desk, head buried in your arms as sobs wracked your body. the sight alone made their heart clench in pain. how could they not notice you hurting like this?

pushing the door wider, they let themselves inside your shared bedroom, feet padding softly towards your slouched form. unbeknownst to you, bokuto and bakugo crouched down on either side of you.

bakugo moved the curtain of hair that's covering your face from them, “hey, princess. why are you crying? did somebody hurt you? was it bokuto?” he glared at the other male who gasped in disbelief at him. of course, he knew bokuto wouldn't hurt you, ever, but he hoped that teasing him would at least bring you out of your sadness and supply them even the tiniest of smiles, anything.

instead, you sniffled in reply. your head finally coming out of your arms that shielded you from the world, but not from the two of them.

“no, it's not kou. sorry...i was just stressed and i guess it all piled down on me,” you said in between sobs, head dipped down to avoid their piercing gazes. if you stared at them any longer, you know you'd break down in tears once again for fear of letting them down and not even being a good girlfriend.

“hey,” bokuto called you on your right, “you know we're here for you, right, pretty girl?” he held your hand, his thumb rubbing comforting circles on the back of it knowing how much it helps calming you down.

you nodded yes at his question, squeezing his hand tighter. bokuto offered you one of his big smiles that never fails to warm your heart. just seeing him smile is enough to calm you some.

“do you think you can take a break, baby? you haven't eaten since you went in here,” your attention was brought back to bakugo as he caressed your face, wiping away any stray tears that escaped your eyes.

“i can cook your favorite for you?” he offered, one of his rare gentle smiles gracing you.

still hiccuping, you nodded in response, a watery smile making its way on your face, “yeah...i'd like that,” you mumbled.

“there she is, there's our pretty girl and her beautiful smile!” bokuto cooed, chuckling at the sight of your smile. your face erupted in a blush upon his comment, making you hide your face on bakugo's palm still caressing your cheek.

“alright, owl face, carry her to the kitchen.” bakugo ordered bokuto which the latter made a face to but nonetheless accepted it, he does love you in his arms, anyway. plus, he can show off his strength to you this way.

“let's go, princess. hold onto me like this.” bokuto carefully lifted you from your chair and into his strong arms, carrying you bridal style.

“i can walk perfectly fine, guys.” you stated, but not denying being carried, nevertheless. your face flushed even more at the thought of bokuto carrying you like this and holding onto his strong body.

the man in question smirked and chuckled at your reaction, revelling in it as he expected what would exactly happen the moment you're wrapped in his arms like this.

“we know, pretty girl.” bokuto kissed your temple, smiling down at you as he carried you out of the room.

“but how can you know you're really our princess if we don't treat you like one?” bakugo added, walking behind you two as he closed the bedroom door, a proud smirk on his face.

you swear you didn't know your face could get any more hotter than it is already. he knows just how affected you are with their pet names and he enjoys it.

“shut up,” you weakly retorted, hiding your face on the crook of bokuto's neck.

he had set you down on a chair, bakugo instantly went to work as bokuto get out the plates, cups, and utensils you all will be using to eat. they took real care of you once dinner was served, bokuto even going as far as feeding you but you refused and saying that you can eat just fine. afterwards, you volunteered to wash the dishes and cleanup like you usually do but they stopped you and did it by themselves instead.

“go wait in the room for us, princess. we'll take care of this, okay?” bakugo asked, winking at you.

“oh...okay,” you walked to the room this time and waited patiently for the two of them like they asked. after a few moment, they entered, each sporting a fond smile on their faces once their eyes landed on you.

“good girl, i thought you fell asleep waiting on us.” bakugo chuckled, moving toward you and leaning over to give you a kiss. closing your eyes as you leaned more into the kiss, you relished in the affection he is giving you – moaning against his plump lips. before it can escalate any further though, bakugo pulled away with a cheeky grin, pecking the corner of your lips one last time.

“i'll go prepare a bath for us, bo will help you with your clothes.” he muttered, voice rumbling low and he turned on his heels as he made his way towards the bathroom.

bokuto replaced him seconds later, a wide grin on his face as he sat in front of you. before you can speak, he engulfed you in a tight hug, humming all the while as he buried his face in your neck.

“mmm, i missed you a lot, baby.” he placed a kiss on your skin there, big hands caressing your back up and down in soothing motions.

you were taken aback by the crack in his voice and the wet feeling on your shoulder. shouldn't you be the one crying?

“i missed you a lot too, kou. i'm sorry i haven't been spending time with you and katsuki, i was just so busy with a lot of stuff lately.” leaning your head on top of his, your hands wandered toward his hair, scratching it just how he likes it.

bokuto pulled away from you even though the way you played with his hair was too satisfying and he missed that a lot too.

“i wish you weren't overworking yourself like that. it makes me sad seeing you cry and get stressed.” he frowned, a cute pout forming on his lips. he's simply too adorable and his thoughtfulness is one of the things you love about him.

��next time, tell us when you're having trouble with anything, okay? we don't want you to shoulder all your problems by yourself. we're both strong enough to help you with it!” you chuckled at his determined face, but the thought wasn't lost to you and you're thankful for that.

“i know, kou. i'm sorry i didn't tell you guys, i promise i'll ask for both of your help the next time.” you wiped away his tears before wrapping your arms around him. bokuto somehow felt relieved by those words alone and he's hanging onto them. he realized it felt even better if it was him who's encased in your arms.

“i love you, y/n.” he mumbled, placing a kiss at the top of your head.

“i love you, too, kou.”

“now let's get you out of these clothes and have a bath!”

bokuto helped you strip your clothes and his before carrying you into the bathroom. there, you find bakugo beside the tub that is now almost full. he turned off the tap the moment he saw you two enter.

bokuto placed you inside the foamy and bubbly tub, before disappearing to get your toiletries. bakugo, on the other hand, stepped in the tub with you and sat behind you - telling you to make room for him.

the latter returned with your stuff and he, too, entered the tub and sat in front of you. he beamed at you as he grabbed a scrub before dipping it in the tub while bakugo grabbed the shampoo bottle. he helped take off your hair tie keeping your hair up and wetted it with water. he then squirted shampoo on his palm and began massaging it on your head.

you sighed at the treatment you're receiving, head leaning back on bakugo's shoulder as you closed your eyes. bokuto's eyes met bakugo's as he scrubbed your legs gently, the both of them smiling at you.

“feeling good, princess?” you felt more than you heard bakugo's words as your back was pressed on his chest.

“mhm, feels amazing.” you breathed out, a smile etched on your lips as you felt like you were in heaven.

they both chuckled at that and continued bathing you before doing the same thing to themselves. the three of you were wrapped in a comfortable silence with only the sound of the sloshing water, the even breathing and the beating of your hearts accompanying the peace.

when it's time to rinse, bakugo rubbed and caressed your shoulders, upper arms and hands. he peppered them with kisses and repeated mantra of ‘i love you’s with every spot of his skin that his lips touched. bokuto kept reciting the things he loves about you as he rinsed your lower half and you swear you were drowning by the amount of love and the feeling of being whole these two are giving you selflessly, but you welcomed it.

after drying yourselves, bakugo was the one who carried you back into the room and helped you dress. bokuto dried your hair for you and combed it gently, being careful of the strands and tangles on the way as to not hurt you.

“do you need anything before going to bed?” bokuto had asked after putting away the comb, brushing your hair to the side as he placed his chin on your shoulder.

“nope, just you two.”

bokuto pecked your cheek and helped tuck yourselves in bed. bakugo slotted himself on the other side of you, an arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer and laid your head on top of his chest. bokuto followed suit, happily wrapping his own arm and leg on the two of you, making bakugo grunt because of the weight.

the three of you showered each other in whispered words of love that night. and before you felt your eyelids drop, you could only make out what they said before you succumbed to your slumber.

“we're always here for you when you need us.”

[dumbass-mha-simp]

Hawks x Reader

This is very self indulgent tbh. Mostly gender neutral but does mention make up. Also the reader has mega family trauma cuz same.

Warnings: mentions of food, alcohol, reader is drunk but keigo is vv respectful & doesn't try anything, reader doesn't talk to their family, past family abuse, reader is kinda mean to him at first

I wrote this at like 4am and my phone is wonky and keeps autocorrecting "you" to "he" for no reason but i did like one quick pass through before posting so hopefully it's good enough, this is probably one of the first times I've actually published my fanfiction so hopefully it ain't shit,

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For the last couple months you've been teasing him. Practically any other girl in your position would swoon in your position. But where's the fun in letting him get what he wants so quick?

Pro Hero Hawks, had seemingly everyone wrapped around his finger. With eyes pierced in deep gold and, blazing, ruby red wings, it's hard for anyone to not be attracted to him.

You stood in the back corner of a "special hero party," trying to discern if you should sneak out and do anything more interesting than standing with a bunch of other heros.

"Hello there, beautiful." A thick and sweet voice called as you turned your head to them. "Looking lonely all alone back here, let me join?" Hawks, the number two hero was offering to stand with you. Staying it is I suppose.

"I admire your work, you're really dedicated kid. I like watching your stuff." He says taking a slow sip of his drink.

"You? You watch me?" The disbelief of it rung through in sarcasm. How were you to expect someone like him watched your work. You continued sipping from your drink, even if it was a boring party there was free fancy alcohol and that's all a hero could ever need.

"I wanna see more of you, and not just on the screen or anything. I want to get to know you, you know, maybe take you out a bit, hottie." He uses his middle finger to gently lift your chin up.

"And why do you think I'd immediately just accept some date from a guy I've never even talked to?" You dryly laugh out taking another sip.

"C'mon pretty thing, you know me. Your friendly neighborhood Hawks. The hottest, and most loved person you'll ever meet."

"Ah that's what you are, the hot, amazing, charming, hero to any and all." You scoffed

"The one and only."

You spent the rest of the night either playing hard to get, or annoyed at him. You couldn't exactly tell.

This carried on for months, every event you attended, he was right there on your heels like an abandoned, clingy puppy. He's even started patrolling with you.

"Say when are you gonna quit and just accept a date dollie?" He charmed up behind you.

"I'm at work, Hawks." Your boots cracked on the wet pavement as the last bits of rain desperately clung to the air.

"Why do you play so hard to get?" He questioned in a more serious tone. He was genuinely curious about you. "Most people would kill to have me begging for them, let alone after giving me to cold shoulder so many times." You could hear the upturn in his lips as he spoke.

"Why do you happen to find me the one person worth going for?" You retorted back.

"You interest me. There's very few people I'm genuinely curious about, but one of them's you, kid." He looked up into your eyes from the street. Something you'd never thought you'd see in Hawks' eyes was sincerity over such a topic. He genuinely wanted to know you.

".........Let's just say letting people in isn't my forte." You say quickly but with a slight hint of pain. You begin to walk off again and he doesn't question. He doesn't push you to tell him why. But you could see the way he processes your words on his face.

A bar, on a Thursday night, alone. How pathetic of you. Luckily you had no work tomorrow, a big mission the week before let them cut a couple weekends longer. As you downed your refill you questioned how many you've had.

"How long have I been here?" You whispered slightly to yourself before bringing it to your lips.

The warm rush reflow through your body as you let yourself fall to it. The bartender looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"I'm cutting you off for the night." He looks earnestly at you.

"Now that's not very nice there." You laugh back at him.

You pull out your phone and attempt to call some friends but lucky enough for you, you chose a night they were all at work to recklessly get drunk in the middle of the city. The only other contact you could think of was Hawks.

There's no way he'll pick up. He's gotta be busy. I could find literally anyone else to do it. You mutter in your brain as you go into his contact and start a call.

It rings twice before his voice calls out to you. "Hey this is hawks. ... (Y/h/n), are you there?"

Okay act cool and sober. "Heeeeyyy bird." Shit.

You could practically feel his shit eating grin across the phone. "You in need of a hero babe?"

"Can you please pick me up?" A whine took over your voice. You hated being drunk in front of people like him. That soft affectionate side seems to burst its way out when the alcohol takes control.

"Tell me where you are birdie." He said as you heard some ruffling. "(Bar name idk)." You rough out tiredly.

"Be right there angel." He called before hanging up.

You put the phone down on the counter and groaned. Why him? You try so hard to make sure you don't fall for people. They always end up like the last. You feel like they stop caring once they really meet you. Like they don't want the cake after the first bite.

Used, alone, and forgotten. It's a stabbing feeling that your used to. A feeling of burning heaviness in your stomach.

You sit slumped down onto the bar contemplating your feelings for the winged hero for awhile. Why can't emotions just be controlled?

"Hey-o!" You heard a voice from behind you break through the thoughts corrupting your mind. Hawks smiled and thanked the bartender before reaching his arms around you and helping you off the stool.

I didn't know he could be so gentle..

He walked you out the door and held your arms softly, but supportedly as he looked you in the face. "I'm gonna fly us okay? Don't wriggle to much." With that he picks you up and starts beating his wings.

"Hawks?" You call slurred and quiet.

"Yeah, kid?" He glances down at you with a light smile.

"What's your real name?"

"Well why would I tell you that when you refuse to tell me yours so often?" He chuckled.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n)"

"W..what?"

"My name. It's (Y/n) (y/l/n)." You replied back.

You could see the confusion of your open demeanor. But there was something else in his eyes. Something you couldn't put your finger on.

"Soooooooo....." you trailed off with a smile.

"Keigo Takami." He chortled at your ridiculous smile.

"That's a lot prettier than I thought it would be." You stared into his face. How could anyone not find him attractive. The perfect mix of facial hair, jawline, that dumb grin that was insanely attractive, those eyes that were the perfect gold.

"You're gorgeous, Keigo." You whisper more to yourself than him.

"And you apparently drank a lot more than I suspected." He tried to brush off but you could feel a bit more heat from his face.

"Here it is." He lands gingerly and places you down on the ground, wrapping his arm under your shoulder and holding onto the small of your back. "Let's get you in bed."

"Have you eaten today?" He calls after setting you on the couch and going to the kitchen to get you some water. You shake your head and he looks a little concerned but doesn't push it. He hasn't either so late take out it is.

"What do you want?" He looks to you above the old paper menu he has saved from a place not to far from here. "Cuddles." You pout looking through your phone.

"I meant for dinner (y/n)." He laughs at you. "Oooh that makes sense." You laugh too, "anything with noodles and shrimp, I reaaaaally like shrimp." You smile at him wholesomely as he looks at you with the same missing thing as earlier in his eyes.

He orders for the both of you then takes you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter with your bag. "Makeup remover?" He asked placing your bag on your lap. You pull out some individual wipes as he gentle pulls them from your fingers and moves the bag to the side.

He softly wipes at your face as you close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his hands. After wiping the makeup off he wipes down your face with water to make sure there's no remover left either.

"Beautiful. Now do you want to go watch something while we wait for the food?"

His eyes gleamed at you and it filled you with that feeling of admiration. He was being so considerate and kind. Nothing like you imagined. You were safe. Safe here with him by your side.

You placed a kiss to his cheek.

"(Y/nn)," he closed his eyes softly taking in the tingle of where your lips pressed. "You're drunk off your ass, baby. Lets get you fed and in bed, dear." You nod tiredly as he pulls you down from the counter.

You sit back down on his couch as he answers the door and takes the food. "Someone order shrimp?"

"Oooo!" You clap your hands rapidly and look to him excitedly. He giggles at you and hands you the food.

You sit and eat together. Talking about whatever comes to mind first and building on from wherever it wandered.

"So, what's your family like?" He asked innocently enough. "Eh." You brushed off. A subject you never liked was family.

"I get that." He tried to laugh but it seemed forced. "I was born with two parents and couldn't get a single one to even care about me." You laughed to him.

"Do you talk to them?" He looks like he wants your answer. Like he cares about what you say.

"I try not to. I cut them off when I was a teen, everyone blamed it on me being a dumb rebellious kid. No one ever tried to see what happened in those walls." You trailed off.

"Were you hurt?" He tilts his head as concern covers his features. "That's an understatement." You force a smile back at him and take a bite.

"I...I think I kinda understand what you feel in a way." You meet his eyes as they lazily traveled to the floor. His thoughts stiring from behind his pupils.

"No parent buddies?" You put out your hand for a fist bump. He laughs and fist bumps you, "Yeah, no parent buddies."

You lean a bit closer to him. "I'm sorry you were hurt. They didn't deserve the control they had over you." You went a bit more serious as you draw your eyes up to him.

"Im sorry for you too." He breathed out to you. "Now let's get you in bed." A smile took over as he moved your empty food package onto the table and picked you up.

"PUT ME DOWN KEIGO!" You laugh and softly hit your hands against him. He laughs with you then throws you onto the bed.

"Why am I on the bed?" You frown. "Why wouldn't you be?" He looks as he places your water on the night stand next to you.

"It's your bed."

"And I get to choose who sleeps in it."

He places a feather-light kiss on your temples then goes to the door.

"Keigo-" he turns, "cuddle me?"

"I'll clean up and be back here soon okay?" He smiles at you. "Okay"

After twenty minutes of struggling to keep yourself up you feel a weight press into the mattress, keeping some distance.

You roll up next to him and wrap yourself around him.

"Sweet dreams Keigo."

"Goodnight, (y/n)."

And there he was when you woke up. Right beside you. After awhile you got used to seeing his face when you woke up. Always being able to see the look in his eyes you tried so hard to put your finger on. The lovestruck stupid he was for you.

[catcze]

don’t be shy bestie drop the brainrot 👀

my brain can't handle angst for long periods of time but like imagine perhaps a story somewhat vv loosely based on the classic little mermaid tale w/ a sprinkle of ref from cinderella–– still GN reader tho ofc 

(Slight cw for metaphorical use of knives under one’s feet but to b clear its used in a metaphorical sense ok)

So imagine that you’re an Inazuman mythical creature of some sort (maybe a kitsune, tengu or some other creature who can alter their form, so they can technically pass as human) but you’re benevolent in nature and more curious about humanity than anything else, though you’ve had to keep your distance from people due to the Raiden Shogun’s suppression driving most inhumans into the forest (as mentioned in the retracing bolide circlet lore.)

Although you live in the forest, as unchanging as the trees around you, the humans fascinate you. Whatever human trinkets that the forest creatures bring you, or the stories of the people the birds and foxes sing to you, you listen intently and grow ever-more fascinated by humanity. Over time though, it grows old. You want to do more than just sit by and listen–– you want to experience it too! You want to have a good time for once, partake in human culture for just one night. Be delf indulgent, then you can be sated and go back into the forest peacefully. One day, you hear about some sort of festival being held by the humans and taking this opportunity, you decide screw it, let's go.

Like how Sara hides her wings, you disguise yourself  as human and join in the festivities. But Thoma, who is in attendance, realizes he’s not familiar with you after you pass him by. After the scare with the Fatui wanting to take over Inazuma not too long ago, he grows suspicious and thinks that you might be in league with people trying to ruin the festival. 

As he's about to politely escort you out, he notices how wide-eyed and amazed you are by everything and how you genuinely seem to not have any ill intent towards the festival, very reminiscent of himself the first time he had attended one himself, and decides, yk, they don’t seem bad. There wouldn’t be any harm in letting them stay. (and if you do have ill intent, it would be better to keep an eye on you anyway.) So instead, he escorts you around the area, shows you the games people play and the food they eat, and is basically vv amused by how 'wow omg' you are to everything. 

And as the night wears on, he finds that,,, he actually really likes being around you. Escorting you around went from something he did out of obligation for the festival’s success to something that he genuinely enjoyed. Your enthusiasm and genuineness is something he doesn’t experience very much, and being with you, he was able to just... have fun. As the night progressed, his smile grows wider when it’s with you, and he makes several excuses to hold your hand. TL;DR, Thoma starts to fall for you, and hard.

Problem is though... well, you notice the beginnings of Thoma's attraction, and though you also find him attractive and very sweet, you know that things likely won't end well with a relationship between due to how different your worlds are. How much you’d both have to sacrifice to be together. And it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, knowing that you’ll never have this again.

But just for tonight, just once, you can be a little self indulgent, while you have time together. Just once. So Thoma and you have fun together at the festival, you laugh and dance and play the festival games. Maybe you and Thoma kiss under the fireworks i dunno i dunnooo–– but when Thoma asks for your name, asks to see your again after that night, you doesn’t, like, give him a straight answer about it, but regretfully you can't bring themself to break his heart either.

As the festival ends, so too do Thoma and you prepare to leave. Thoma insists on walking you home since it’s not safe this late, but you tell him that you’ll be fine. That you’ll see him again soon, even though Thoma doesn’t know you’re lying through your teeth. And when Thoma heads back to the Yashiro Commission, you too go back into the forest.

For the next week, Thoma frequents that same area, hoping to see you again. He wanders the roads, asks the locals if they’ve seen someone who matches you description, only for them to say they’ve never met anyone like that. As time goes on, Thoma starts to lose hope of seeing you again. He wonders if he dreamed the whole experience up, if it was just his tired mind playing tricks on him.

It’s definitely possible, he thinks sometimes, when he stands in the place where you two shared your first ––your only–– kiss. Alone, with only his thoughts for company. Sometimes, when he stands there, from the corner of his eye and only for a split second, he swears he sees you gazing longingly at him from the edge of the forest. But when he looks properly he sees nothing–– only a forest creature of some sort, like a fox or a bird, standing where you stood.

That’s usually when he decides it’s best to go home–– after all, imagining a forest creature as the person who’s been occupying his thoughts? He must be really tired. So with a sad, wistful smile, he shuts his eyes as shakes his head, trying to clear the memory of one of the best evenings of his life, trying to forget the person who had both entered and exited his life in such a flourish, and makes his way back to the Yashiro Commission.

It’s only when Thoma’s back is turned that you watch him with eyes just as wistful and longing as his own. Because oh how you itch to run to him, to apologize for keeping him waiting. Your heart aches when you imagine the life you could have with him. Eating festival street food, laughing at the game booths. Sharing another kiss ––the beginning of hundreds–– under the fireworks.

There is something inside you that pains when you have to sit idly by as you watch Thoma and that future grow further with every step. It absolutely fucking hurts when you grit your teeth and turn back into the forest, each step feeling like there are knives under your feet, pricking you and paining you for leading him on, for leading yourself on.

The forest is colder than you remember. Lonelier too. So different from the warmth you’ve felt when you were with him. The ache in your chest hurts so much that you don’t even realize you’re crying, breathing ragged and tears dripping from your eyes.

You want to go back to him so bad but you can’t. Not now. Not even when each step back into your life of solitude feels like it kills you.

How cruel fate is, to have shown you the right person in the wrong lifetime.