#vv ∶ zoom in on the answering machine ∶ asks ∶ vv

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Not to be too mainstream, but you're an obvious twink. Them hips don't lie, unlike your silver tongue.

“Oh, you sweet summer child. Do you really think so? That I, in all my four centuries, would be a twink? True, I do have a youthful appearance, but there are reasons for that… both my being turned at the ripe young age of twenty and other factors that provide for this.

But my dear anon, I am by no means the delicate flower you seem to think I am. On the contrary… I have four centuries of experience and more tricks up my sleeve than you could name in a lifetime.”

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🌹

Our Relationship In A Gif

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Amira: Be honest.... you like k-pop don't you Liam...👀👀👀 Exposing her bf on MAIN? More likely than you think

HONESTY HOUR 😏

“I- I- y-yes. I do. I very much enjoy k-pop. I was even in a k-pop band once.”

He groaned, rubbing his temples for a moment as his nose wrinkled up, glancing over at Amira with a small frown. It was almost a pout.

“Amira. Mon trésor. Why would you do this to me?”

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but you criticize people all the time

Liam falls silent for a moment, adjusting his cuffs, straightening his bow-tie. Then, after several moments of surprisingly intense contemplation, he lets a breath out through his nose, pushing his glasses up with his middle finger.

“Right. So let’s start at the top here. There’s critique, and there’s criticism, and they aren’t always the same thing. I’m a connoisseur of the arts. A patron, if you will. It’s true that I criticize my classmates’ fashion sense, or taste in music, or fashion, or theater.

And I will outright admit I can be a snob about it. I see absolutely no reason in hiding behind false pretenses there. I will absolutely turn my nose up at your decision to wear a lime green fishnet tee over a bright yellow vest. But there’s one major difference between myself and Leonard.”

“His “attempts to help” are genuine malice. He doesn’t actually want to help anyone broaden their horizons. He takes no joy or pleasure in introducing people to new experiences in the arts or in culture. He attacks people because he thinks it’s funny to watch them get angry. There is no real enjoyment in the culture in anything he does or says. He enjoys excluding other people from his toy box. Delights in belittling the interests of women, calling them fake, sluts, or worse.”

“And don’t get me started on his behavior towards Zoe. It’s disgusting… juvenile at best, actively malicious and harmful at its worst.

I may be a snob, stuck-up, stubborn. I may be harsh in my criticisms at times, perhaps unnecessarily so. I’ll own up to that. It is what it is. I can’t change that, and I’ll probably do it in the future.

But I’m not actively trying to be malicious. I want people to think, to expand their creative horizons. You will never catch me telling women they can’t be part of culture just because they’re women, insinuating that they’re doing it for the unseen approval of the privileged.

And further than that, you will never, not in all the centuries I’ve lived and ten thousand times more, hear me say a cross word about someone’s identity. I’ve lived that, time and time again, over the last four-hundred years. And I will not sink to the level of that base cretin and inflict the same pain I’ve endured on someone else to gain points on an imaginary scorecard.

So yes. To answer your question: I do critique people. But I will not sink to the level of that slimy, irredeemable jackass.”

He pauses, then sighs, taking off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

“Now if you’ll excuse me. I need a cigarette.”

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"And I had that thought. That only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have." - fated-faith

Out of Context John Mulaney

“If you are wondering “did I do that,” I know you well enough to know that in a lot of cases, you most certainly did.”

At first, Liam didn’t look up from his phone, finishing up a post he was making to Instagram. But in the end, he turned his attention to Faith, brow slightly arched. He didn’t look like he was judging her, really… he was just watching her, waiting expectantly.

“So while I sometimes do worry about the sort of things you get into, I must admit that I am immensely curious as to what, exactly, it was that you managed to do this time.”

@fated-faith

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🌹!

Our Relationship In A Gif

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So... plans on going to Japan?

HONESTY HOUR 😏

“I’d certainly love to go, but it depends on time. And I don’t see the point in going while our compatriots are off doing… whatever it is they plan on doing. For… reasons. That I have.”

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Kicks the door to the inbox open

FIRST THREE IN MY INBOX GET KISSES

LAST ONE!

“Damien, I- what the hell?”

He was just staring up at him, expression downright baffled. It always came back to him not really hating Damien, didn’t it? All the same, though, this was… unorthodox. Why would Damien be here for this.

Well. A bet was a bet. He did have to stretch up- Damien was taller than him. But for his trouble…… he kissed Damien, very quickly, on the cheek.

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"Liam, I m-made you cupcakes!"

FIRST THREE IN MY INBOX GET KISSES

no longer accepting

Liam couldn’t eat. Oz knew that. But he also knew that those weren’t necessarily to eat. They were beautiful, honestly… well made, well decorated. The perfect cupcakes for an artistically taken picture.

He couldn’t resist a very faint smile, stretching up to kiss the fear creature on the forehead. He was definitely grateful.

“Thank you. These will look lovely photographed.”

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"Consider me up for this, merely because I am curious how you kiss with fangs such as your own."

FIRST THREE IN MY INBOX GET KISSES

That was… unexpected. He gave Miranda a long, cautious look, considering that proposal. Then he sighed, rubbing his chin with a sniff.

“I kiss the same as anyone else, but if you swear not to have me arrested.”

He doesn’t kiss her on the lips, obviously. But he does press a kiss to her cheek, as requested, and waits to see how she responds. No fangs added at all.

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me, yeeting Faith into your inbox - fated-faith

FIRST THREE IN MY INBOX GET KISSES

He’s not going to be direct with Faith. He hasn’t been in a very long time. But he does take her hand and lean down to press a kiss to her knuckles. It’s as close as he’ll get these days.

There isn’t too much water under the bridge, but…

@fated-faith

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"Then you ain't gonna cause a fit if I take off for a few minutes to, uh... use the lil' boys room or some shit. Gimme two shakes." And he's off before any protests can be heard like someone told him the Ice Cream Wizard was in town.

What was that? Certainly not Liam noticing Brian going off to kill some asshole anti-undead racist. He’s just busily typing away into his phone, ears twitching, completely oblivious to what’s going on. Really.

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"No one would know. We could just be Aw, man? That guy? Don't know what fuckin' happened. Last I saw he was drivin' outta town."

Oh the sheer temptation of it. Liam, on paper and most often verbally, abhorred violence. He saw it as a boring method with which to answer one’s problems… but on the other hand, just this once, it felt necessary.

Well. Not really necessary. But in the end, it would’ve made him feel better. Knowing that troglodyte wouldn’t be bothering anyone again.

Pity this sort of thing never really seemed to work on Leonard…

“Well. I suppose I didn’t see anything. I can’t stop you, of course… so who’s to say it ever really happened?”

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"Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you. Okay."

Out of Context John Mulaney

“Not that I don’t appreciate your enthusiasm, Brian, but I don’t think that behavior warrants murder. Not at the moment, at any rate.”

Not to say he didn’t want to steamroll the guy into the pavement. Honestly, the behavior of some monsters… as if monsters who were human before were any less than other monsters. Damn anti-vampire-anti-ghoul racists. Honestly, though, thinking about it… he probably wouldn’t have objected.

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Brian was very likely going to kill the guy anyway. But if he put up an objection, he at least could hold on to that tiny little piece of morality.

“Honestly, I thought people like that would be all but extinct by now.”

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since your old do you like mince pies?? Apparently there like an old worldy thing

“Mince pies are not “old worldy.” They’re still quite popular in England.

That being said, I never had the opportunity to try them. I was turned in the early 1600s, in France. Mince pies became a popular thing during the Stuart Era, same century… but in England.

...and I’m not even that old! I’m only 420!”

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"I had a run in with a two year old"

Out of Context John Mulaney

The look on Liam’s face was somewhat difficult to truly define, somewhere between confusion and genuine interest, gold eyes focused on the fear monster for a very long moment.

In the end, curiosity finally won out over confusion, and he cleared his throat, blinking a few times as he stood straight beneath the shade of his umbrella.

“All right… you’ve hooked me, Oz. What in the world happened in which you would have any necessity to have a run in with a two year old? That sounds like quite a story.”