#vulnerablemen

[luciebascoul]

[samarie12]

The Vulnerable Man

There has been a lot of discussion around toxic masculinity and the desire for men to be vulnerable with their emotions. However, I’m not convinced we are truly in support of this dynamic. As with many other social issues, Americans specifically, like to complain and shame each other, but we are quite skeptical if change actually occurs. We enjoy the process of pointing out our idea of perceived faults, but we rarely enjoy the building up and celebration of growth. It’s understandable we are a nation with trust issues, consider how America was born. We have passed down generations of skepticism of others, and rightfully so, I suppose. However, that’s a topic for another day, today, I want to talk about the possibility of supporting the growth in our men. 

I’m a feminist, but not at the cost of men. I support the celebration of women and I do not support the bashing of men. I don’t like bashing people at all, even if I don’t agree with them or believe they are in the wrong. If you need to bash another to prove your point, I question your intentions. Do you really want change or do you want revenge? I want change! 

Many men want change too. Most of my career has been focused on working with men. Working in male dominated industries of banking and finance, to leading the men’s department of a large retailer. Part of my job leading the men’s department was to connect with male influencers in NYC, goal coach male ambassadors, and host men’s events for the community. I have a lot of experience with men in settings where they were required to be vulnerable with me. I’m talking about asking deep questions of professional athletes and holding them accountable to answering me. I’ve had some of the toughest and most successful men I know cry in these sessions and share their deepest fears. We would have these breakthrough moments that would give clarity to their vision and goals. Then a week later they would have some armored IG post about their next big thing, no mention of the vulnerability that got them there. So I got curious and in my true Virgo nature, I called them up and said, “What’s with your bullshit post trying to be so tough?” And the response was always, “It’s what people expect from me. I can’t post about my fears people will think I’m soft.” And the most impactful response I ever received was, “You are right, but this is hard for me and I am not ready.” My eyes were opened to the reality that men’s capacity for vulnerability is generally quite different than women’s. 

Thinking about this in my personal relationships, I began to notice the little ways men were vulnerable. Small things that I would normally overlook, but now saw as an act of courage in expressing themselves. I started to acknowledge these moments of vulnerability. Being careful not to celebrate them, as that did not seem to be effective. However, the more I showed simple gratitude for these moments, the more vulnerable they became. It was quite a complex process to watch unfold in the men around me. I again got curious and started asking questions about how they feel when I acknowledge these moments. The general response was quite interesting. Men want to be vulnerable, but they aren’t sure how. There is no guide or role model for vulnerable men. Sometimes they are trying to imitate how women do it, but feel uncomfortable. When they are so called “sappy” it turns into a big thing for them....”oh now you want to be cute” or “aww babe you’re such a teddy bear, look at you being all sweet” or “wow where did that come from”. And if their guys hear it...”man you’re soft” or “she’s got you whipped”. These phrases are not encouraging to the men that are trying to open up. 

One of the most dangerous things we can do as humans is remove the possibility of someone’s growth. When we expect people to be a certain way, they will always fulfill our expectations. Approaching a man’s vulnerability with presence and simply accepting where they are at, will allow for growth. I’m talking about growth for our society. Where it becomes normal for men to express themselves, to show emotion, and be vulnerable. I want our men to succeed in overturning toxic masculinity. I want our men to grow and evolve to courageous leaders of vulnerability. 

So I’m asking us to be mindful of those moments with our men. If we want change, let’s give space for it to happen. I am beyond grateful for the vulnerable men in my life. The one’s that are vulnerable with ease in every situation, and the one’s that have a secret language to their vulnerability. I see you and I love you. 

Peace & love xoxo

[eric-eztli]

Cultivating Vulnerability Among Men is one of the best ways to create healthy men.

How can we as men establish and maintain friendships with men that are supportive?

We need to be risk takers. To be vulnerable, is to take a risk, and open up to a man in your life. Being vulnerable is more challenging than getting into a fight because you are tapping into your emotional core, something you’ve buried for most of your life.

For many years, you’ve been told you were a bitch or a pussy for feeling sad or scared.

For too many years, you’ve repressed the truth of what has made you, you.

But trust me, when you actually start being vulnerable with other homies around you, incredible behaviors start happening.

Homies that have never been vulnerable, BEGIN to be vulnerable WITH YOU because you took that leap of faith first.

The bond of brotherhood you will build with homies will be fortified by the courage you show each other when being vulnerable.

It’ll feel healing to let things off your chest, too.

No more stoic bullshit and isolation that ultimately gets you nowhere in your healing. That’s a stereotype that isn’t fucking cool. It makes men sick.

Turn to your homies, and take a damn risk. It takes a leader to start this shit.

Lead.

Homies will be there, ready to listen.

Cultivating Vulnerability Among Men is one of the best ways to create healthy men.

How can we as men establish and maintain friendships with men that are supportive?

We need to be risk takers. To be vulnerable, is to take a risk, and open up to a man in your life. Being vulnerable is more challenging than getting into a fight because you are tapping into your emotional core, something you’ve buried for most of your life.

For many years, you’ve been told you were a bitch or a pussy for feeling sad or scared.

For too many years, you’ve repressed the truth of what has made you, you.

But trust me, when you actually start being vulnerable with other homies around you, incredible behaviors start happening.

Homies that have never been vulnerable, BEGIN to be vulnerable WITH YOU because you took that leap of faith first.

The bond of brotherhood you will build with homies will be fortified by the courage you show each other when being vulnerable.

It’ll feel healing to let things off your chest, too.

No more stoic bullshit and isolation that ultimately gets you nowhere in your healing. That’s a stereotype that isn’t fucking cool. It makes men sick.

Turn to your homies, and take a damn risk. It takes a leader to start this shit.

Lead.

Homies will be there, ready to listen.

#bereal

#men

#manhood

#bevulnerable

#strengthtakesrisk

#positivemasculinity

#healthymasculinity

#mensmentalhealth

#toxicmasculinity

#vulnerability

#brotherhood

#friendships

#vulnerablemen

#machismo

#rejection

#growthmindset

#selfworth

#selflove

#bereal

#men

#manhood

#bevulnerable

#strengthtakesrisk

#positivemasculinity

#healthymasculinity

#mensmentalhealth

#toxicmasculinity

#vulnerability

#brotherhood

#friendships

#vulnerablemen

#machismo

#rejection

#growthmindset

#selfworth

#selflove

[malaloves]

🎶 IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT 🎶 . You know I love you. I love you because you are you. Authentic, masks off. Your vulnerability. Your openness. Masculine and Feminine dancing as one. I love your joy. The silliness, crinkles in your nose as you laugh. I love your flaws. Your past mistakes, because they are not mistakes. I love your sensitive side. I love your soul. Your realness. Raw. Stripped bare. Naked. You are brave. Everytime you think you fuck up. I just love you more. Keep being you. I love you. . 📷 by @rowan_emmett . . ** @malaloves ** @malakennedy ** . . . . . #earthess #malakennedy #higherconsciousness #souls #coachforwomen #stretchfam #womensupportingwomen #soulscripts #consciousliving #consciousness #stretchtribe #sensitivity #empoweringwomen #intuitive #powertothepeople #rawandreal #lovecoach #soultrain #youdoyou #strippedbare #vulnerability #vulnerablemen #empoweringwomennow #soulful_moments #portraitsfromtheworld #postthepeople #iloveyou (at Margaret River, Western Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/BquRgNUF0IT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1vfozx5elldip

[eric-eztli]

Rape jokes normalize rape.

Plain and simple.

Rape jokes make rape funny to boys.

And when young teenage males hear rape jokes in school, store them in their memories, and repeat them to more kids, all bystanders - those laughing, those listening, those silent - take part in a cultural behavior that fuels rape culture.

You never know who is around and who has survived sexual abuse. All people can suffer this - from girls to women and boys to men.

This video is for any homie out there that feels way too damn weirded out by their group of friends STILL making rape jokes in 2020. You know it’s wrong, but you aren’t sure how to address it.

Call in the homies with love, but be assertive. Sometimes it makes all the difference, and sometimes you just need to level up beyond certain friends.

Like and subscribe if you found value in this video.

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1xxoedn0xtykx&utm_content=4d8rxb

Purchase my first book of poetry: From My Blood by contacting me on Instagram.

Visit ericeztli.com to learn more about what I’m about.

Thank you,

Eric Eztli

#bereal

#men

#manhood

#bevulnerable

#strengthtakesrisk

#positivemasculinity

#healthymasculinity

#mensmentalhealth

#toxicmasculinity

#vulnerability

#brotherhood

#friendships

#vulnerablemen

#machismo

#rejection

#growthmindset

#selfworth

#selflove