#vroom vroom will be on there too obvi

[boag]

I think someday like 30 years from now some very respected music journalist is gonna publish a list of like the 100 most influential pop songs of all time and this is gonna be high up on there^^^

[mortiflyer]

top ten as kpop songs (but ten is Fritz and not that bastard)

Jannik - Satellite by SHINee. Idk scrolling through my playlist he felt very shinee bside coded and shinee is my favorite kpop group so…anyways satellite is a pretty chill song but the way it swells for the chorus feels fitting for his career lol

Novak - Joker by Dal Shabet. LIKE ARE YOU KIDDINNG. He’s the djoker obvi but also this song is cunty and I feel like he fits the diva levels

Carlos - Vroom Vroom by EXO-CBX. To me this song is the perfect mix of cute and fun and upbeat…like Carlos! Tbh i felt like he could be an rnb bside or something but my first instinct was to go sunshine

Danya - Not In Public by Summer Cake. This is based off him saying espresso is the song of the summer 😭 so I’m giving him the REAL song of the summer by my nugu queen. I just feel like he would like something girly pop

Alex - Smile by TVXQ! It was between this and 24/7 by EXO but I want some variety in this lol. Alex seems like a chill guy you’d want to be friends with and who loves his girlfriend and for some reason that’s the same vibe the tvxq boys give me. He COULD have been Rumor by them but none of these guys deserve that song it’s too perfect

Hubi - Secret by WJSN. Listen ik he has some…issues on court but this would be his ringtone if he knew it and you can’t convince me otherwise. I’m gonna track him down and teach him the dance

Casper - Warning Sign by TEEN TOP. He is very rnb pop to ME okay. Although tbh Casper is not one of my favorites so this one may not be a good match for ruud nation

Andrey - sage by OnlyOneOf. The trap beat is him I feel plus onlyoneof can be very moody which…yeah…

Grigor - Mirror by FIESTAR. Grown woman music for this man and his elegant game yawwppp. Tbh this could’ve been any fiestar song lol, but I thought about 9MUSES as well. Maybe Secret but I didn’t want two songs with the same title in the list

Taylor - Prom Night by fromis_9. More for Morgan’s benefit than his honestly but he would bop along in the car don’t lie

Okay idk if I did y’all favorite white men justice but I would love to do more so inbox me if you have someone specific in mind

[thatguywasvaping]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

i don't know who else to tag honestly but thank youuu @wisteria-wisteria for tagging me 😉

1. Who or what got you into F1?

i've been wanting to tell this story to someone cuz i think it's so dumb

so well, my dad and my cousins are HUGE f1 fans they always talk about it on the family gc. it was the mexico 2023 gp (we're mexican btw and just like every single men in mexico they love checo) and we all know what happened to checo in that race so they were fuming and honestly i was enjoying it and all the memes on twt

anyway i never really cared about the sport, to me it was just men going vroom vroom in circles for an hour but then the brazil gp came

we were in my grandparents house, i was in the living room and they were watching the race obviously, it was just about to start and then something magical happened that changed my whole life... charles leclerc crashes on the formation lap and i thought omg who's this dumbass 🙄 but then i heard his voice with that sadness you only hear in eastern european gay porn saying "why the fuck am i so unlucky?", i was like damn he's so me, my dad was asking me to traduce what he was saying, i had no context of everything that happened on the season but i could just think damn is this not the first time that it has happened to him? poor bro

then i saw him get lost in the motherfucking woods and i was crying laughing at this point wondering who the hell is this guy?

i made a mental note to search his name on twt later, anyway the race went on and i was actually getting invested in it, i remember my cousins had to leave but they were all i want to see checo pass hamilton bla bla bla and i had no idea who hamilton was but i wanted to see it too it was so exciting. when i got back home i went into a charles leclerc rabbit hole in twt and tumblr and tiktok, then i learned more about all the other drivers and as someone who was lacking content of my man finn wolfhard i was getting bored and seeing this guys being a chaotic mess and getting content of them every weekend i was like fuck it they're my new blorbos especially charles❤️

and now here i am :) the end.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

i am a charles leclerc girlie and i will always be he's my sunshine i will fight anyone who dares to say something bad about him, i just love him so much he's so determinated and passionate i am so sure he will achieve his dream but he's also very kind, charming, funny. his history is also so amazing to me, his mental strenght is unbelievable and has motivated me to keep going no matter what, he's very dear to me, i admire him so much and i don't think it will ever change because he amazes me more and more everytime.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

charlieeee obvi but i've also been very obsessed with max lately they are fighting for p1 in my favorite drivers championship every single day hahahah

maxie poo i love you babygirl 😘

ok but now seriously MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU ARE A FUCKING LEGEND AND DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD he means a lot to me now too

i love lando and oscar also i hope they achieve amazing things with mclaren they have so much talent and potential i know they will be great

and ofc mi gente latino 🇲🇽✊ checo pérez you are my dad and i support you no matter what also he's so unintentionally funny as max said i'll just call him lovely 😌

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

LESTAPPEN MY GOD when i tell you that i think about them every day i'm not joking at all

my roman empire as the tiktok kids would say

i just love them for the same reasons everyone else does they have been racing against each other for most of their lives and of course they've had their rough patches but they respect each other and love racing together, they push the limits and will do everything to win but they always keep that mutual respect and admiration

i got into them with the inchident video it's just hilarious max being all mad like no it's so unfair 🙄 and charlie being like just an inchident 😘 I CAN'T THEY'RE SO ICONIC LIVE LAUGH LOVE LESTAPPEN we love emotional support rivals

also shoutout carlando, maxiel, charlos, chestappen, landoscar they are so funny love seeing them do stupid shit but also have each others back

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

my dad will die for red bull especially for checo, i don't really know my cousins favorite drivers but they like ferrari and one of them has a charles leclerc cap and a valtteri bottas one so i think them

i'm kind of a closeted f1 fan lmao because most of my life i've been like it's so boring just them going in circles but now i'm obsessed but also if i say i like it now they would be like you just like it because the drivers are good looking

and i mean YEAH but fuck just let me enjoy it and it's also my first season i'm still learning give me a break bruh

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

like i said this is my first season and i started pretty late but they first race i ever watched from start to finish was ✨las vegas 2023✨ and as a charles fan i will never forget that last lap where i was mourning p2 already and all like well let's hope for the best on the next race😔 when all of a sudden i see this mf overtaking checo, it was 1am and when i tell you i JUMPED from the couch and started screaming and jumping around, genuinely i will never forget it

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

i don't really know about each circuit that much but i like monaco

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

naaahh they're expensive af maybeee one day i'll go to the gp in mexico city but in a very distant future

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

i see checo's face in every corner in my city does that count?

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

i like the mercedes' cars just for the mere reason that they look cool to me and since i don't know all the technical stuff i think i could give you a pepper answer once i learn more

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

not really ✌️

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

when max said "i always thought that if i would make it to F1, charles will also make it"

what can i say i love my babygirls

[ones-delight]

I unfortunately won’t have therapy until the end of this month (I should have scheduled one earlier this month ugh lmao I thought one later this month would be better) so I’m doing what my therapist suggested, write down all what’s going through my head even if it doesn’t make sense to help bring myself back to reality. lol. I’m very much lost in my own sauce of feelings and thoughts. it’s allllll about my ex again so ugh lmao. My main anxieties are just feelings about my ex and what’s coming up this semester.

I’m currently in my apartment in Iowa City since we’re about to start back up my usual routine. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now which is nice because I’ve been trying to take my time to relax and get myself mentally prepared for this upcoming semester. I’m also low key glad I’m having these overwhelming anxieties right now instead of later this week. I need to ask my therapist again what exactly I am feeling (if it’s like a panic attack because i truly dont know) because I’ve been feeling hella anxious the past few days (in general) and yesterday my anxiety was so intense that I barely ate and I felt sick to my stomach. idk if others have the same too but when I also get hella anxious, all I want to do is go to the bathroom so tmi lmao. I feel this way now and I just cannot stop crying so again, I’m just writing everything that’s going through my mind lmao.

#1) Related to my ex, heart break

Yeah.. I literally keep talking about this/him and I’m glad I have multiple outlets that I can say what’s going through my mind because if I keep these thoughts to myself, I keep spiraling. I’m also very thankful I have multiple strong support systems from people where it truly doesn’t get annoying to them when I keep talking about him/my overall heart break/healing journey. I know I don’t want to burden my friends with my own thoughts (it can be a lot) so overall very thankful for friends, family, and my therapist lmao. 

I think the last time I talked about my heart break was the letter I wrote to him. I wrote it and sent it to him lmao. I also wrote his mom a letter in Spanish because I want to stay connected with her and very thankful she reciprocates the same energy, Apparently, he never received the letter even though I sent it over 3 weeks ago, but anyways yeah that’s a story I will tell later in this post. Anyways, it’s legit easier said than done to completely stop checking on his social media. I was doing great before winter break. Now that winter break has happened (still kind of is for a few more days), I have relapsed where I was checking very often. The break was great since I got to spend quality time with family, however, unfortunately being back in Wichita still floods a lot of my emotions where there are still a lot of memories of him and I that still makes me feel sad (luckily no longer sobbing about but I do still feel some type of way. It’s getting better thankfully). It also hurts that he’s making new memories with his new girlfriend Kylie so I was def feeling all sorts of things. Sorry, I’m trying to go onto chronologize order of events that have happened. I’m jumping back and forth lmao 

First, did I mention his mom called me the day before Christmas? I was SHOOOOOK when I saw her name on my phone. I legit froze because I wasn’t sure if it was actually her so I accidently missed her call. I’m so glad she left a voicemail so I could listen first and immediately call her back LMAO. But basically, she wanted to check in to see how I was doing, wish me and my family a merry christmas/happy new year, and asked if I could come see her. We joked a bit back and forth like how she was learning English for me while I’m learning Spanish for her. lmao. so after this phone call, I wrote her a letter to update her on what I’ve been doing. I wrote it all in Spanish since that’s her primary language so thank god for google translate. overall, I told her about how I’m about to earn my masters degree in may, I’ve lost now 30 lbs of weight/having a better relationship with food, how I’m honestly still hurt about her son cheating on me (I was in my feels. You know if you ever get those feelings like you want your mom? She legit is like a mom to me since my mom isn’t an active part of my life so yeah I guess you can say I got mommy issues but anyways) I also told her that if she’d still like me to come over, I’d love to come over and see her.

Few days go by, I’ve been creeping onto his social media, it stings to see how he has flaunted his relationship with Kylie. It hurts because I keep playing this comparison game because he truly has NEVER allowed me to post about us and he would himself refuse to post about us on his social media. So, just to see how he’s been basically spending every single day with her and posting her throughout all of his social media, makes me feel an extreme type of way. during new years, she had a party at her house where it was him, her, his brother paco (which I was SHOOOK because she met paco and not everyone has ever met paco, who is his oldest brother), miguel and his girlfriend (both are super cute btw), Blake (surprisingly), and Erik. I felt some kind of way because obviously I know they would share a new years kiss even tho they’ve only been dating for literally a month. I dated him for 3 years and NEVER got a new years kiss (because he wanted to be with bros). Valentines day is coming up and it’d be their “two month” anniversary and I just KNOW he’d actually put EFFORT into spending that day with her. 3 years I dated this guy and he never ONCE did ANYTHING for me for valentines day. ok I’m getting more hurt thinking how he’s treating his other girls better than me so anyways BACK TO THE TOPIC

few days go by and I got another call from his mom. I actually picked up this time because I was really excited to hear her voice again. I legit would die for this woman legit #1 mom. She asked if she could see me and I happily said yes. It really means a lot that she still gives me the same energy that she gave me when I was still dating her son. One of the hardest parts of us breaking up was the potential of losing his family too because they are all truly good people and I am NOT the CEO of letting people go lmao. okay back to subject, I had TONS of anxiety driving over to her house because I had so many thoughts. I asked on the phone if 1.) is Lalo there. She said no. 2.) Is Paco there. No, he apparently flew back to California that morning. I was low key hoping paco would be there still because it would be cool to catch up with him but anyways my main concern was if eduardo was there so since he wasn’t, I was like “ok vroom vroom let’s go” lmao. WOWOWOWWO seeing her just made my heart so happy. She def has a lot more gray hairs since the last time I saw her lmao she’s the cutest anyways, I’m really shook that HIS DAD FREAKING HUGGED ME. THIS MAN NEVER USUALLY HUGS ANYONEEEEEEEEEEE. Typically how we greet each other, it’s like a wave from a distance and we obvi acknowledge each other. so WOOOOW I was very thankful and shook he hugged me. Anyways, his mom showed me around the house with the Christmas decorations, I noticed her birds were still doing well, she even showed me her new plants she got lmao. We sat at the dining room table and talked and ate mexican snacks. She has broken English and I have broken Spanish so literally thank god for dualingo because it has helped me. I love how when we are together, we talk really slow and try to annunciate for each other LMAOOO. Anyways, THIS WOMAN ALSO GOT ME A STOCKING filled with Mexican Candy. omg this woman i love her so much. Anyways, I showed my tattoos to her and she legit wanted to murder me lmao but she says she likes them but hates them at the same time. She also sat me down and we had a serious conversation in terms of how she sees me. She said that I am no longer known as lalo’s novia, what I am to her is a daughter. I am evelyn’s sister and yo boi that got me crying in the club because that’s what I would love to have, to maintain my relationship with them . Okay, to kind of speed things up, basically we kept talking about Evelyn’s quinceanera that’s happening this year AHHHHHH, dropped Evelyn off and her friend to a friend’s quince, and his mom took me to eat at paleterias tropicana where I tried elote for the first time and had a jugo verde WOOOOOW SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD. literally cannot stop thinking about it. Anyways, random note, I noticed my old K-State beanie in the car and his mom said it was Evelyn’s. It gave me a weird feeling because it was originally mine that he gifted me on our first Christmas together but obviously I knew he wouldn’t keep it so I’m not suprised he gave it to Evelyn. It made me wonder then what did he do to the other gifts that he originally gave me but I gave it back to him once we broke up.. okay that was a tangent, anyways, that was it with the night with his mom and ughhh it was a really fun night and I really am looking forward to seeing her again.

Now fast forward to now-ish, me not doing good of not checking his social media, I got triggered because they now made it “facebook officlal” that they are dating. it triggered me because again, he refused to publicize our relationship and it really threw me off that they’ve only been dating for a month (technically interested in each other since October, started dating November) and already publicizing they are together. they moving hella quick and basically, I got hella bitter. I felt reckless and I texted him. I KNOW I shouldn’t have texted him because I immediately felt a sense of regret after but also low key glad I did text him. ugh i hate me lmao. Anyways, i texted him and he asked if he could call me so I said yes. Luckily, the conversation was better than I expected because it was simply like two old friends catching up. It was a really good feeling even tho I’m honestly still hurt about the way that he treated me. It caught me by suprised when he said that he has talked about me with Kylie and he actually stated that he knows what he did and feels regretful for the choices he made. That was a huge shocker and I do still have trust issues because I try to take things that he says with a grain of salt. He may be saying things to me that I want to hear but it’s not the truth so anyways lmao. Our conversation was good and it really got me thinking what exactly am I doing/how am I really feeling.

I really am happy for him. Yes i’m still deeply hurt and feel a type of way about how he treated me, but I can’t do anything about the past and all I can do is just simply be happy for him. I will always love him without a doubt, but he isn’t my person. I hope this doesn’t come off as selfish but he will never find someone better than me, he is simply finding someone better suited for him. What helps me the most about this is thinking about ME because that’s the situation for him, however, I know I will find someone better than him because I deserve the best.

I felt bad for asking because I am just fucking nosy and I’m glad he was okay with me asking about what happened with his relationship with Lila (the girl he left me for) and how did he start dating Kylie. He shared with with me that even though it was all great in the beginning with Lila (and let me tell you dude, he totally was hella infatuated with her lmao), they started becoming two different people. She apparently wasn’t emotionally there for him when he needed her (IRONICCCCCCCCCCCCC BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW HE WAS WITH ME THROUGHOUT OUR 3 YEARS TOGETHER) and she ended the relationship. It did make me sad to hear because everyone needs support and it is sad when you go to someone for support and they don’t give you it, ya know? anyways, he said with Kylie, they’ve been friends for two years (I knew who she was when we were together but they’ve always only been friends since they worked at the Sunflower together. This will sound extremely bad but I never thought about her being a girl to worry about because she did a lot of “white” things that we make fun of white people for and so it kind of shocked me that he is dating her now but anyways) apparently he said that “they were hanging out and next thing he knows is that he kissed her and that’s how they started dating.” dude didn’t want to go into detail which was fine but I’m also in my head like “ok lmao you literally just got broken up by your ex and then immediately start hanging out with another girl? ok” ANYWAYS, I really am happy for him and wish him the best. 

It was cool to hear about what he’s hoping to do. He shared a lot more detail than usual which again caught me by surprise. Anyways, he shared that he is currently looking for a new place to live (a house to rent) somewhere in college hill (conveniently where Kylie also lives lmao) with Erik. He is also hoping to find another job soon because things at KWCH are no longer making him feel happier so he’s looking to see if he can work for a non-profit org which makes me happy for him because I’d also want to do the same. If I’m at a job where I’m not excited to be, I’d want to also try to make a switch. He also shared that junior (martin, his little brother) will be moving to Cali in May to move close to paco which wow made me really happy for them all. Anyways, he shared that he is hoping to stay in Wichita for about one more year and then possibly relocating to KC or somewhere in Oklahoma. i did encourage him KC because it seems that KC has much more opportunities than Wichita and Oklahoma. Only thing we both hate is driving in KC lmao

Okay, so overall, I’m still really hurt about how our relationship was and how it ended but I’m very grateful that I’m doing what is best for me to make progress because this is not an overall easy thing to do, move on. I do feel low key embarrassed that I still am not over our break up but I’m very glad that I know that He isn’t my person. we will and I cannot get back together with him even if he stated that he has “changed” Yes i invested so much in him to be my forever partner and it didn’t work out but that’s okay. I’m always willing to invest in people to be the best version of themselves and it really makes me happy to see people thrive. I truly cannot and will not take him back if there was ever a time where he wanted to give us a second try because I need to remember how he treated me. If he really was always thinking it was me, then he shouldn’t have cheated on me, treated me so poorly. I’m okay with us remaining friends, but as partners in life? that isn’t it. I deserve so much better and the man of my dreams will come. I’m 10000000% okay with being single because I know I need to work on myself so that I can be fully ready for my next. I really wish my next relationship is my one and only, but hey we’ll see. 

so this is already extremely long but I’m very glad I got this all out of me. I know I have other anxieties such as starting school again, which will be my last semester before I earn my masters (FINALLY), RA training coming back up (so me working is coming back), JOB SEARCH. So much is coming up and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I need to get my head into gear. 

[bb-bambam]

best of 2018 tag

i was tagged by @mias97 a few days ago thank you!! 💖💗💕💜💙💛💟💓����❤💟💘

top 5 albums

1. b.a.p "the recollection"

2. got7 "eyes on you"/"present: you & me"

3. exo "love shot" (repackage including all the songs from "don't mess up my tempo")

4. red velvet "the perfect red velvet"

5. blackpink "square up"

top 25 songs

disclaimer: this was so hard ajdhdgdhshhd and also this isn't in any particular order

1. utopia - trcng

2. i just - red velvet

3. look, thank you - got7

4. lost in the dream - monsta x

5. vroom vroom - exo-cbx

6. have a good day - winner

7. scentist - vixx

8. get it - pristin v

9. shoot me, somehow - day6

10. our page - shinee

11. angel - iz

12. shine - pentagon

13. always you - astro

14. the chance of love - tvxq

15. killing me - ikon

16. mr. e - red velvet

17. egotistic - mamamoo

18. young - baekhyun x loco

19. drippin' - nct dream

20. hann - (g)i-dle

21. regular, come back, simon says - nct 127

22. i am me, my youth, sunrise, nobody knows, king - got7

23. love shot, trauma, sign, damage - exo

24. all the songs from "the recollection" because i can't choose just one rip

25. baby - daehyun

honorable mentions go to: boss - nct u, lil' touch - oh!gg, gravity & oasis - exo, goodbye road - ikon, airplane pt 2 - bts, all the songs from "square up," awaken - stray kids, jealousy & shoot out - monsta x

mayhaps i just love every song too much 😪

anyway! i tag @lookbaek @bapwoo @bapofficial @cockyjinyoung @9empo @thejjpmullets @moondancejongup @jungkookies-cookie but obvi you don't have to do it if you don't want to!! (especially bc we're already a whole week into 2019 now shhdgdgsgsg how)

[ninthhousemoon]

if i were…

if i were a month: October  if i were a day: Saturday if i were a planet: Saturn obvi 
if i were a god or goddess: Aphrodite:;) 
if i were a sea animal: shark


if i were a piece of furniture: table lol 
if i were a gemstone: ruby 
if i were a flower: rose if i were a kind of weather: thunderstorm 
if i were a colour: crimson red 
if i were an emotion: anger 
if i were a fruit: peach 
if i were a sound: wind chimes 
if i were an element: earth 
if i were a place: Rome, Italy 
if i were a scent: vanilla 
if i were a song: foolish heart - Steve Perry if i were a body part: heart 
if i were a pair of shoes: converse if I were a direction: south  if I were a liquid: whiskey    if I were a tree: evergreen     if I were a musical instrument: piano if I were a time of day: dusk if I were a historical figure: Plato if I were a vegetable: potato if I was a berry: blueberry if I were a movie: the godfather lmao if I were a book: too much thinking idk if I were a food: pasta if I were a material: velvet  if I were a taste: smores if I were a word: cunt if I were an object: a globe if I were a facial expression: RBF if I were a subject in school: philosophy if I were a cartoon character: something evil if I were a shape: square if I was a sin: Envy if I was a car: subaru impreza if I was a natural disaster: forest fire if I was a season: autumn if I was a virtue: patience if I was a mode of transportation: motorcycle, vroom vroom bitch if I was an item of clothing: mom jeanz if I was a phase of the moon: a full moon if I were a number: 13

I was tagged by @airmom and @moon-sextile-venus I tag: @alien-astrology1231 @astrollusion and @sleepyfairies