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tired-and-ticklish · 6 months

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Broadcast Interference

Disclaimer: This is a tickle fic, so if that isn’t your thing, then just ignore this.

Summary: Vox and Alastor’s rivalry is no secret to anyone. What is a secret is the more… interesting ways they deal with each other

TW: Tickling (Intense, seriously), Swearing, Restraints, Drinking, Vox and Alastor are both Bastard Men, Mentions of Cannibalism

Idea inspired by this post by @coolbananas143

Really, everyone should have expected this sooner or later. A rivalry like Vox and Alastor’s doesn’t just stick to insulting each other via radios and television screens. No, at some point, it gets physical, and it’s better for everyone to just stay out of their way. Thankfully, the residents of the Hazbin Hotel had unintentionally done just that.

It was no secret that the Television Overlord spied on basically everyone in Pentagram City, and the Hazbin Hotel was no exception. Sure, at first the monitoring could be chalked up to either “it’s just what Vox does” or “He’s watching the hotel to keep track of Angel for Val.”, but upon learning the Radio Demon had returned from a seven year absence to just throw himself into Charlotte Morningstar’s passion project, well, Vox couldn’t stop monitoring the hotel.

He had waited for the perfect opportunity, one where no one else besides Alastor would be at the hotel. Sure, Vox would have loved a captive audience to his triumph over that old-timey prick, but all in good time. He wanted all of Hell to see just who was in charge, and that would only happen when he found a way to record Alastor without the Radio Demon distorting the video. For now, however, this would do.

Alastor was going to be alone. The Princess had decided on another little ‘bonding excursion’, and as predicted, the Radio Demon had declined to go, most likely finding it beneath him. Ah, how that ego of his would be Alastor’s undoing. After making sure everyone else had left, Vox zapped himself through to the camera closest to the hotel, landing right in front of the doors.

‘You’re in for quite the surprise, you old-timey prick!’ The TV Thought as he entered the hotel.

—

Alastor knew something had been wrong ever since Charlie and the others left. He wasn’t alone in the hotel, much to his annoyance. The Radio Demon had been hoping for one day where he could be uninterrupted, but this was Hell and that was wishful thinking. In hindsight, he should have sent his shadows to see who dared infiltrate the hotel, but he was the Radio Demon, he could take care of any lowlife sinners who tried to deface or destroy the hotel.

What he hadn’t been expecting was Vox, looking like he had been waiting for Alastor. That pompous, sorry excuse for an Overlord had made himself at home, even pouring himself a drink from Husk’s bar. How he ate and drank wasn’t something Alastor wanted to question, what he wanted to know was why Vox had dared to step foot into the hotel.

“Just wanted to see what was keeping you so busy.” Vox responded casually, deliberately reaching over the bar instead of going around it, just making a mess. “There’s so much tacky fucking circus decor in here, is that what little princess Morningstar is running? A circus?”

“I can assure you, they were not my doing.” Alastor growled, his already thin patience for the TV wearing down further. “It’d be best for both of us if you left. With all your limbs still attached.”

“Try me, old man.” Vox dared.

“I would say I’ve been dying to eat you, but I’d rather not expunge my guts today!”

Insults soon turned to assaults, a bottle flying at the Radio Demon. Tendrils spawned from the ground, making a grab at the TV Overlord, but Vox had learned from their last fight. The two scuffled for some time, Alastor only feeling slightly bad for the damages to the hotel, considering that would make more for Niffty to clean.

‘Not to mention how cross Husker will be when he finds the bar raided and destroy-’ That one train of thought was Alastor’s undoing.

The wires from the hotel’s TV ripped out of the wall, ensnaring the Radio Demon. They wrapped around his arms, pulling them taut and upward, before wrapping around his waist and legs, so he couldn’t kick his way out. Try as he might, he couldn’t get free, growling as the TV came closer to his face.

“Look at you, trapped like the helpless animal you are.” Vox grinned, leaning in close, only for Alastor to try to smash his head into the TV Screen.

“I’ll show you helpless when I tear all your limbs off and devour them in front of you!” Alastor snarled, trying to pull himself free as Vox walked around him.

“You need to relax.” Vox hummed, dragging a claw down Alastor’s side slowly.

He had meant for it to hurt, but what he hadn’t expected with the Radio Demon stiffening, and biting his lip. Vox hummed at this discovery, repeating the action, which in turn caused Alastor to try to pull away. The TV couldn’t contain his excitement, he recognized all the signs thanks to working closely with Valentino and Velvette. He recognized them from having helped bring Angel Dust to tears a few times.

“You’re fucking ticklish?!” The amount of pure joy and malice in his voice didn’t escape Alastor. “This is too good!”

“It would be in your best interest if you forget all of this and release me this instance if you value your-” Whatever threat the Radio Demon was about to make was cut off by the feeling of Vox’s claws on his hips, scratching and digging into them.

“You’re not the one in control right now, are you~?” Vox teased. “No, you’re at my mercy, so watch your tongue.”

“Ihihihih’d tehehehell yohohohou to bihihihite meheheh, but yohohohou’d enjohohohoy that!” Alastor was pushing him, he knew that, but he wasn’t about to let the TV Overlord think for one second he wasn’t in control!

“Alright, keep pushing your luck.” Vox mused, moving his hands up Alastor’s sides. “I can do this aaallll day~”

Alastor tried once again to get away from the TV Overlord, his laughter going up an octave as Vox got closer to his ribs. He needed to get out of this situation before the bastard found his worst spots. The Radio Demon was sure his pride wouldn’t survive the taunts and teases that would be sure to follow.

“Let me guess, since you’re a cannibal, this is your favorite spot~?” Vox hummed, digging into Alastor’s ribs and grinning as the deer let out a squeal.

“Iihihihi’ve beehhehehen tihihihickled behehehetter bhihihihiihy thehehehe wihihihihnd!” Alastor was hoping if he got Vox angry enough, he’d drop his guard and that would give him the chance to escape.

“Ohoh, now you’re asking for it you prick!” Vox growled, his eyes scanning over the Radio Demon. There had to be a spot that would have him begging for mercy, and, as Vox noticed Alastor’s ears flicking, he got a wicked idea. “I’m getting bored of this spot anyway.”

His hands were removed from Alastor’s ribs, much to the deer’s relief. That respite was short-lived, however, as he noticed Vox looking at his ears. Before he could even threaten the TV, his ears were being scratched and rubbed, tickling the Radio Demon to no end. He couldn’t hold back anymore, pride be damned!

“FUHUHUHUCK NOHOHOHOHOH!” Alastor squealed. “CEHEHEHEHEASE AHAHAHAHT OHOHOHOHONCE!”

“Oh, that spot got you screaming quickly!” Vox sounded positively ecstatic about this discovery. “Wonder how long it’ll take before you’re a crying mess.”

“NEHEHEHEHEVER!”

“Never?” Vox chuckled, beginning to emit small, harmless shocks from his claws. “Your funeral~”

The shocks were sending a new wave of ticklish Hell upon Alastor’s nerves. A loud screech of radio static came from his throat, Vox recoiling slightly from the noise, but not enough to stop tickling him. The TV wasn’t letting him go anytime soon, and Alastor knew the only thing he could do was pray he either got bored, or pray that the others would return soon.

“I wonder what other spots get you screaming like this?” Vox hummed, despite not expecting the deer to answer. “Not talking? Guess I’ll have to find out on my own~”

Alastor was going to make him pay for this! He’d wipe that shit-eating grin off Vox’s face if it was the last thing he ever did! Another screech of radio interference escaped the Radio Demon, feeling like he was going mad. Vox, meanwhile, was having the time of his afterlife, but he needed more. He needed a spot that would finally be too much for Alastor.

“GEHEHEHEHEHT OHHOOHOHOHOFF MEHEHEHEHE BEHEHEHEHFOHOHOHOHRE IHIHIHIHIHIH BIHIHIHIHITE YOHOHOHOHU!”

A small ‘ding’ sound played from Vox’s speakers, the TV getting an idea. With a smirk, and after a few more electric shocks, he ceased his attack on the sensitive ears. Alastor caught his breath, not yet noticing the wires restraining him brought him up higher off the ground, his abdomen now level with Vox’s face.

“Thanks for giving me a hint~” Vox teased, and before the Radio Demon could respond, the TV had ripped open both the deer’s coat and undershirt, buttons flying off in random directions.

“You’re going to pay for that-” The threat was cut off by Vox slowly stoking a finger up and down Alastor’s stomach, making him freeze.

“All this talk of eating and shit has made me a bit… hungry~” Vox said, before grabbing Alastor’s sides with both hands.

“Vox, I-I’m warning you. If you even think about doing what I think you’re planning, It will be the last thing you ever live to do-” Alastor began, only to be stopped as Vox’s claws dig into his sides.

“You talk too much.” Vox replied, leaning in close.

It happened too fast for the Radio Demon to react, suddenly Vox’s face was in his stomach, before he felt ‘vibrations,’ making him squeal. The ‘vibrations’ were Vox using his TV static to make it feel like he was blowing raspberries right into the deer’s sensitive belly. Cackles of static and laughter came from Alastor, unable to let out a coherent sentence.

“YOHOHOU- STHAHAHA- NOHOHOHOH- IHIHIHIHI’M GOHIHIHING- CEHEHEHASE!”

Vox didn’t stop, in fact, he got worse, squeezing and prodding Alastor’s sides as he continued to torture him. He vaguely wondered if the Radio Demon would pass out from all this, and that would be something to see. Until then, however, Vox was going to keep tormenting him until he had his fill.

Alastor’s nerves felt like they were on fire, desperately trashing as best he could to try and escape. He hated this, he hated all of it so much! Being trapped, feeling helpless, especially at the hands of a bastard television!

“Say, Al.” Vox began, ceasing his raspberry assault in favor of raking his claws over Alastor’s stomach, once again emitting small shocks from them. “Imagine the headlines if all of Hell found out you, the big bad Radio Demon, are stupidly fucking ticklish~”

“YOHOHOHOOHHU WOOHOHOHULDN’T- DOOHOHOHON’T YOHOHOHOHU DAHAH-”

“I can see it now. ‘Breaking news! The Radio Demon and Local Hazbin is ticklish! A few well placed pokes and he’s begging for mercy!’ Wouldn’t that be ‘entertaining?’” Vox grinned. “If only I could get my cameras, and well, you would fucking show up on camera.”

As much as Vox would love to continue breaking Alastor, he was a busy man, and Valentino and Velvette were probably going to be looking for him soon. After one more ‘raspberry’ to Alastor’s belly button, he stopped. The wires holding the Radio Demon up soon unceremoniously dropped him, the deer catching his breath.

“Well, this was informative, and entertaining.” Vox hummed, beginning to head out of the hotel. “We should do this again some-”

Vox’s words were cut off as he was suddenly grabbed by shadowy tendrils, slamming him against the wall. Despite how out of it and tired Alastor felt, there was no way he was letting that TV escape after what he did. Slowly, he composed himself, carefully pushing himself off the floor.

“You seem to forget, old pal.” Alastor began, his eyes turning to radio dials. “Turnabout is fair play, and we still have quite some time before Charlie and the others return.”

“Put me down you asshole!” Vox growled, trying to pull himself free.

“Oh no, you see.” Alastor continued, coming over to the trapped Overlord. “When I get my revenge, I get it tenfold. Best you start praying now~”

Alastor was going to savor every single minute of tormenting Vox. He was going to make sure that pompous television knew never to mess with him again.

#hazbin hotel tickle #ler!vox #lee!alastor #tickle fic #sorry if this is bad i didn't get much sleep

299 notes · View notes

scenteddelusion5 · 7 months

Note

Could you write a Vox x Alastor’s Child? Wherein reader views their fights as a “bonding activity” because it relieves stress for the both of them because they’re not willing to kill each other due to not wanting to hurt reader and they’ll be civil when they need to be. A large chunk of their rivalry being due to Alastor seeing Vox as trying to steal his child from him (making them his partner both romantically & business wise, them becoming an actor) and Vox seeing it the same way with Alastor trying to drag them on random outings when they’re supposed to film or have time together. - @am-i-interrupting

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene," PART 1

Vox x gn reader (Alastor's child)

Note: At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this one, especially because i had already written a daughter character, already have a daughter oc myself and then would have this child. But then I had this Romeo and Juliet inspo in mind and now I wanted to do it.

!!!!! NOTE ABOUT REQUEST !!!!!

So I really liked the idea of this Vox and Alastor dynamic but I can't write short stories so instead I'm doing a 2 or 3 parter about how they got into this dynamic. So they aren't like how you requested yet.

Word count: 3436

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where denizen blood makes denizen teeth unclean, From forth the innovation of these two foes, A pair of star-crossed lovers arise,"

Y/n sat on the balcony of their father's mansion. Nothing but trees, or at least hell's version of trees, could be seen from there. The bustling city was ways away from the territory most denizens were too afraid of to enter. The book they were reading was written a small auteur in hell, it was obvious that he had taken great inspiration from a much more famous work. An old-fashioned, cannibal and a modern man, with more savoury tastes, falling in love, their families hate each other yada yada yada. Nothing they hadn't read before.

The demon, whom resembled a deer, put their book down and started messing with the knobs on their older radio. It sprung alive with the voice of their father; Alastor the Radio Demon, feared all throughout hell. On his broadcast played a catchy jazz song that, every once in a while, got interrupted by agonizing screams.

"That was an amazing number." The Radio glowed green as he spoke. "It brings me all the way back to the nights I spend in the speakeasies. Let's continue on-"

Everyday Alastor would broadcast the news and gossip of the week at exactly 10 a.m. and Y/n would always tune in.

"- Oh, and make sure to stay clear of the Carmine mansion this evening. The overlords are having a little get-together. So if you don't want to be served for dinner, I recommend you go home early tonight."

Right, Camilla Carmine was holding a party to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Carmine industries. Y/n was so excited. Normally their father wouldn't let them go to parties, but considering he would be there, he allowed them to go this time.

"Lastly I have a personal message to my favourite fan. I couldn't have wished for a better fawn. I hope you liked the breakfast I cooked especially for you, that demon was a struggle to catch. Hahaha," he laughed, "see you after the broadcast. Let's put on (song), it's not really my style but considering it's your favourite, I can make an exception." Their song slowly came on while Alastor's voice faded.

Y/n hadn't made friends outside of cannibal town. They had to admit they were a bit nervous...

The day went by faster and faster as the night grew closer. Y/n had put on their green gown/suit. It was beautiful; adorned with black lace, a pattern of turns and roses sewn into it.

"What do you think?" Y/n asked while turning around.

Alastor, whose suit didn't look all THAT different from his usual one, studied them up and down. "You look delightful, fawn. Every single demon in that building will see green from jealousy."

"Thanks dad."

Despite the fact that cars were already owned by most citizens in the time Alastor was alive, he preferred to walk, even to such an important event as this. So, when the two off them arrived, they stepped in through a side door instead of the big red carpet where the limousines dropped off guests.

"Remember Y/n, don't talk to people you don't know and if something goes wrong, find me or Rosie." Alastor's antlers started to grow and static filled the air. "I'll destroy however dares to hurt you."

"Don't worry, dad. I'm an adult, I can take care of myself." They laughed off their dad's threatening stature. "But if something happens I can't handle, I'll go to you."

The ballroom was decorated with black gold and white. All kinds of denizens were roaming around, from high standing overlords to imp servants. There were no familiar faces. The only other overlord Y/n had ever met besides Alastor was Rosie. Even so they had immediately split up from Alastor in favour of exploring the buffet table.

After picking up a plate, they started picking the tastiest little snacks. There was even a few dishes with demon in them provided for the cannibals.

Vox had spent four hours making himself presentable in a fancy blue suit and a new screen protector. the other Vees had matched his style. So when the three stepped out of their high-tech car and got bombarded with paparazzi, it was clear that the three belonged together.

It isn't often that they had the chance to converse with other demons of their status. It was the perfect chance to make new connections.

Vox had gotten the chance with a few other demons before it happened. His eyes landed on the most beautiful person Vox had ever seen. Their looks hypnotized the tv-demon... Which was supposed to be HIS power.

"Hey Voxie, you never guess who I saw~... Voxie? Vox... VOX!" No matter how hard Valentino tried, he wasn't able to capture Vox's attention. "What are you looking at?..." Following his colleague's line of sight, Val's eyes landed on them too. "Oooohhh, I see~ Should I go talk to them for you, maybe I can convince them to stay the night in our bed."

Vox slightly buffered. "What! NO! I'm going myself, yeah, I can handle this myself."

Y/n was enjoying a lovely tea sandwich with raw, demon heart on it, when a person they didn't recognize came up to them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." The man with a tv for a head grabbed their hand and placed a kiss on their hand. "I'm Vox, and you are?"

"Y/n, and it's a pleasure to meet you too," they introduced themselves before shoving another tea sandwich in their mouth.

"You must really like those sandwiches."

Y/n aggressively nodded her head. "YES! Here try one!" they shoved one of them in Vox's face who reluctantly eat it.

"Wow, that's... an unique flavour."

"Yeah, heart does taste very peculiar but I like it."

It put Vox off that the demon had spoken so casually about cannibalism, however, he was even more put off that he was just fed ACTUAL DEMON. So, when they weren't looking, he drank an entire glass of champagne in one go, hoping to wash off the taste.

"Anyway... I was hoping to dance with you." Vox offered out his hand but pulled it away again when he saw the dissapointment in their face.

"I would love too but I don't think my father would be happy to see me dancing with anyone. I'm sorry."

He thought about it for a few seconds. "Y'know I'm quite familiar with this place, there is a smaller ballroom a few doors down. If you want to, you could take me up on the offer there." The overlord suggested.

Normally, Y/n would've never said yes. Going to an empty room with a stranger who must have quite a lot of power. Only an idiot would follow him... Maybe they were a bit of an idiot but Y/n was intrigued by the man, so much so that they decided to go.

"Alright."

Hours went by while the two of them danced, talked and drank in the empty ballroom. Y/n felt themself falling deeper and deeper in love with the handsome stranger. The confident way he spoke, the way he buffered and glitched whenever he got flustered, the way he would get angry when they hurt his pride by laughing at his attempts to woo them. He was perfect.

"Now, tell me Vox. Who exactly are you? Like, I know you your name but you must have been invited for a reason, so...??" Y/n asked.

"You mean you really don't recognize me?" Vox asked flabbergasted. "I'm the CEO of VoxTech." The other demon still looked confused. "The biggest tech company of hell? We release new products almost every single day."

"I'm not big on modern technology, I died during the 1920's," Y/n explained, "I tried using a computer once and it didn't go well."

"Well, that's really no good. As a demon of high society, you should keep up with modern invention, if you ever want the help I don't mind teaching you how to use it." Vox stared at them lovingly. "You know what, I'll even give you a phone. Give your address and I'll send you on-"

"HEY! Vox!" A girl with pink and purple hair walked in. She wore a poofy pink dress and her face was covered in make-up. Her bloodshot red eyes landed on the person standing next to her friend. "Oooeeehhh, and who are you?"

"Velvette, Y/n. Y/n, Velvette." Vox introduced them to each other. "They have been great company tonight, right love?" He caressed the side of their face."

Y/n got redder and redder as the conversation went on. "Yeah, it was great."

"Well, sorry that I gotta burst your bubble." Velvette interrupted the sweet moment between the two. "But the Carmines are about to have their speech and you know how pissy those old fuckers get about shit like this."

Y/n looked at the clock hanging on the wall and realised they had been gone from the party for hours. "Yeah, I should really be going back too. My father is provably worried about me."

The three swiftly made their way back to the main ballroom, Velvette joking about the two lovebirds the whole time.

Once there, they gathered by the crowd standing around a podium. Carmilla was standing there, already holding her speech about the start of her company, the amazing growth and the future. Although a very basic speech, demons were at the fact that the Carmine had mentioned future dealings and couldn't wait for the opportunity to become a part of them. One of them seemed to be the handsome TV Demon that Y/n had hopelessly fallen in love with over the course of the evening.

"Excited I see," Y/n said while pointing to the electricity coming off of Vox, "I'm not sure that a deal with Carmilla is going to happen if you electrocuted her."

"Hey! I'm a great negotiator. Thank you very much!" The man joked.

Alastor had kept his child in his sight the whole evening.... Until he didn’t. They were right over by the buffet table just a second ago. Y/n couldn’t have gone far. So, he went on a search, but after an hour, he found nothing. He even asked Rosie for help but no luck. He had stayed looking until Carmilla started her speech and even then Alastor still kept an eye open for her.

What he never expected to see, was his child, his lovely, well-behaved, miracle of a child, to be joking around with his nemesis. And were they.... Blushing?

Static filled the air around him, symbols floated around his head. The terrifying shadow of his ever-growing antlers made every demon and demoness run out of his way.

Once he got really close he could hear their conversation.

"You're such a dork!" His child laughed.

Alastor could only see their back, but he knew what their smile looked like right now. Unlike his plastered smile that hid his emotions, Y/n's was genuine.

"I'm the dork? Have you se-" Vox's eyes drifted to the strange red symbols, when he noticed Alastor standing there. A small x on his forehead, eyes like dials and his smile wide.

Normally, during their fights Alastor would be somewhat lenient with him. He still roasted Vox to the living world and back but he never outright tried to murder him. This meant that he had never experienced the true wrath of the Radio Demon. But right in that moment, Vox felt like his days were numbered.

"Holy shit," Velvette muttered.

Noticing the two Vees were looking behind them, Y/n turned around and as soon as they did, Alastor switched back to normal like clockwork.

"Oh, hey dad!" Y/n greeted him sweetly. "What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, little fawn," the Radio Demon spoke, distain clear in his tone of voice, "now tell me, why are you wasting your time conversing with such vermin? Especially, a styleless one like that insecure, copycat, picture box."

Vox was still staring between the two of them. Y/n was Alastor's child! The one the Radio host always talks about, the only thing that freak actually seems to care about. Why did it have to be them the overlord had fallen in love with at that ball?

"You are the Radio Demons child!" The man freaked out.

"I didn't think you would care about that..." Y/n's face turned into a frown, unlike their father’s whose grin only grew wider.

"I-I" The tv started buffering. " I don't..."

"Come one Y/n, let's find someone with more class." Alastor turned around, his child in toe.

"Wow, can't believe you got the hots for that man's child." Velvette quickly snapped a picture of Vox's stunned face and send it to Valentino. You'll never guess what happened. She typed under it.

Y/n looked down at their shoes, not wanting to see their father's victorious grin. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Whatever do you mean, little fawn?"

"You know what," they replied sounding angry this time, "why did you scare away the first real people I made friends with here in hell?!"

Y/n had never had an attitude before, never talked back, never even sounded annoyed. It scared Alastor for a few seconds. "That... Vox isn't the type of person you should make friends with'."

"Isn't that for me to decide?" Tears filled their eyes and their voice was strained. "I want to go home."

Once home, Y/n attempted to rush up the stairs but was stopped by Alastor’s shadow grabbing them by the arm. They were struggling to get away when Alastor cupped their face with his hands and looked suspiciously in their eyes. He was searching for something.

"Let go of me!" Their eyes glowed as they screamed.

When Y/n tried to pull away again, Alastor's grip tightened. "You've never acted like this before. He must have hypnotised you, so be a doll and let me find his spell!"

But no matter how much he searched for even a sign of demonic manipulation. Did Vox not hypnotize them? Then why were they.... Because of Alastor's second of confusion, Y/n could quickly pull away. They rushed up to their room and locked the door.

Alastor just stood there, stunned until a knock came from the door. He straightened his suit before opening it.

"Hi Alastor, I saw you two... Leave and thought you might need a listening-ear." Rosie stepped inside and made her way to the dining room. "Besides I could really use a cup of thee after such a long night."

"You know me too well, Rosie. I'll get some snacks too."

"They've never even raised their voice at me before but one hour with that noisy rectangle and Y/n is acting like a rebelious teen." Alastor took a bite from the index finger snack. "I tried to look for a sign of hypnosis but there was nothing. What did he do to them?"

"Ever thought about it that Vox didn't do anything?" Rosie suggested.

Alastor's pupils turned into dials. "Hmm? What did you just say?"

"Ya have to think about this differently." Rosie took a sip from her tea. "A demon always buried in their books with little to no interaction with the outside world goes out for the first time in years and meets a charming man who's interested in them. It's just like one those romance tropes they always reads about."

The other overlord considered it. "Then what do you suggest we do about it. How can I show them that they deserve much better?"

"First of all, have a conversation with them. A genuine one."

"And then?"

Rosie's smile showed her sharp teeth. "Then-"

Vox was still buffering from that crazy night. He fell in love with ALASTOR'S CHILD, for god's sake. He was connected to his advanced computer, rebooting his systems. Images of Y/n, memories he saved in his files, flashed over the many monitors in his room. The doors to his office opened revealing the other two Vees.

"Damn, Voxie. You've never had to reboot after we've 'hang out' before." Valentino leaned over his colleague's shoulder. "You aren't going to demote me from being your favourite, right?"

"I wouldn't sound so confident Val. Vox was pretty hooked last night, you should've seen him." Velvette pulled up the picture she took. "This photo doesn't do his obsession justice."

"Stop it, Velvette." The TV Demon unplugged himself from the computer set-up. "It's never going to work out anyway. And it's all that shitty, old demon's fault!"

"You really think that?" Velvette asked. "I mean, they looked pretty interested to me... You could always go over to them and explain yourself. Oh and while you're there, try to find a snoop that'll make my drama Sinstagram go viral."

"Voxie doesn't need them. Just stay with me and I'll make you forget them in just five minutes." The moth demon's cigarette smoke formed a heart.

The screen buffered once more. "Get out! The both of you."

"I'll wait in my room." The two Vees made their way out.

Once he was sure they were gone, Vox pulled up another file. Y/n's beautiful face showed on the screen and their addicting laugh filled the room.

Y/n sat against their door, crying. They could see the moon through the balcony window. It's red light filled the room. They couldn't believe their father had reacted like that. And they couldn't get the face Vox made when he released their connection to the Radio Demon out of their head. It plagued their mind since the moment it happened.

Their room seemed so small, so empty, so cold. Nothing had physically changed but mentally, emotionally, everything was different. They got a taste of that beautiful romance and it was taking away from them in the blink of an eye.

Y/n was so deep in their self-pity that they didn't notice the moonlight was blocked by something. They were jolted out of their own thoughts by a knock on the window.

Looking up they saw none other than Vox standing there. His suit was covered in dirt and branches that he got certainly caught in on his way there.

They quickly walked over to open the door, stumbling on their way.

"Y/n, I- uhm, you must find it weird that I show up on you balcony like this." Vox's screen got slightly red. "I wanted to apologize for this evening. I don't care who your father is, I- uhm I care about you."

"Vox, I need you to be honest with me. Did you hypnotize me?"

Y/n's sad look broke his heart. Who got into their head that he hypnotized them?

"Y/n, I didn't and I will never do it." He put his hand on their cheek. "I promise."

Blush decorated their face. "Then can you tell me what's going on between you and my dad?"

"Of course."

The two sat on their bed, cuddling. Vox had told them about everything. The start of their feud, his constant fighting with Alastor but also the fact that he fell in love with them at first sight. It was a lovely, domestic moment.

"One time I got so angry at your dad that I made a complete smear campaign against him. it didn't work out, he completely cut off all my broadcasts, all seventy channels."

"I think he once told me about that," Y/n laughed, "you get more under his skin then you think. Even before he saw he two of us together."

"If you say so..."

Their banter went on for hours. The two did their best to keep sounds to a minimum so Alastor wouldn't find out.

"Oh, before I leave, here." Vox handed them a white box. "it's a phone. I made sure to remove all spying devices and I programmed you a special assistant. It should help you figuring out how it works."

"You put spying devices in people's phones?"

"Uh-I"

"Don't worry, I get it. It's hell. There is no need to explain yourself."

"Right." Vox tried to laugh it off like Y/n was doing. "It's getting late, I should go. Wouldn't want the Radio Demon to know I'm meeting up with his daughter without a chaperone."

This time when Y/n was separated from Vox, they felt fine. Because they knew that he loved them. They were still longing for him, but not in a sad way. It was pure, romantic love.

Part 2

Masterlist/request guidelines

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin vox #vox x reader #vox x you #hazbin

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hazbinsillynight · 7 months

Text

Radiostatic week 2024

Day 7 (free day) Jealousy

They were fighting just like always when suddenly everything changed. Neither of them saw it coming, but at least Alastor's shadow got some quality time with their old nemesis. Alastor howerver looked pretty pissed for some reason

Static mixed with strange radio sound could be heard in the principal park of Pentagram City. Everyone had fled away from the fight scene which was reducing the place to a chaotic battlefield. Some screams of panic could be heard and there was some body of careless lesser demon who wanted to have a good show.

Vox and Alastor. The TV and the radio. The unending fight and rivalry that was tearing once again Hell apart. None of them refused to give the other any opportunity. Vox was obsessed with his rival since his departure of seven years, while Alastor only saw the other as a source of entertainment.

Vaudou and shadow magic were everywhere as well as the lightning and cables. All of this fight for a bit of teasing from the radio demon who knew Vox couldn’t resist.

“Victory is mine this time Old man!!” Vox exclaimed with Alastor trapped between his cables.

“Ah! You wish!” Alastor claimed with the biggest smile anyone has ever seen on the smiling demon.

Both of them loved these fights. For Vox they were an occasion to get rid of some stress and get attention from the red Overlord. While for Alastor it was a way to avoid boredom and seeing the media demon from whom he enjoyed the company so much. Their game of cat and mouse was on for what seemed forever and none of the two demons were able to say when it started.

Suddenly Vox got plunged into the ground, held and pushed by Alastor’s shadow. To the surprise of the two demons, it decided to jump on the TV demon and hold him under him against the ground.

While Vox tried to get free from the shadow’s hold, thinking it was an attack from his nemesis, Alastor looked at the situation a bit confused. He hadn’t ordered anything to his double, in fact, the shadow replica didn’t like to fight against Vox. Why he wasn’t sure but seeing it keeping his adversary to the ground somehow didn’t feel good.

Vox tried to electrocute the shadow being over him but in vain. Instead of shooing it away from him, it got the opposite effect. The dark shape was wrapping itself around the other demon's body, preventing him from moving. Vox growled a bit as he was now incapable of moving.

“A-Alastor!!” He suddenly chirped nervously when he felt the shadow touching him and passing a part of its body under his shirt. He could feel his face burning as he looked at his rival, mortified by the situation.

That got the radio demon off guard, just like his rival he could feel his face burning. Vox was lying down on the ground with his shadow lurking over him like a predator. The dark shape didn’t form any legs and chose instead to wrap the legs and torso of the media Overlord. Vox’s shirt and top clothes were a mess that the shadow took pleasure in playing with. Alastor was mortified, just what decadent kind of behavior was that?!

The radio demon hurried to the side of the other demon, ready to shoo his shadow away. But it didn't hear it that way and as soon as Alastor came closer it hissed at him, clinging onto Vox possessively.

“Alastor!!” Vox exclaimed when he saw the other stop in front of the protective and possessive shadow.

A chirp from the dark shape wrapped around the TV demon surprised them both. Alastor could feel his face becoming hotter. His shadow was a powerful being of his creation, capable of tearing demons apart easily. It wasn’t some kind of goey hugging and chirping partner for Vox.

“That's enough now! I think you clearly outpassed your liberties for today!” Alastor exclaimed, trying to make his replica come back to him.

The shadow started growling before hissing louder at its master. Vox was desperately trying to get free when suddenly the shadow turned back to him and started passing his hands softly on the edges of his screen. Before neither of the two Overlords could do anything, it kissed the media demon with passion causing him to glitch stronger than ever.

Alastor saw red this time. The images of Vox being possessively kissed by his shadow replica sent him in such a wave of anger. He just wanted nothing more than to prove his replica that the other demon wasn’t theirs to take. Vox was his rival, his source of entertainment, his everything! There were no negotiations possible! So, with angry and decided steps, the radio demon came closer to Vox that his shadow took away from him while he was stuck in his thoughts.

Vox blushed heavily when he saw Alastor coming to him. The shadow suddenly let him go, smiling and clearly amused by the situation. With his heart pacing ten times faster than it should be, the media Overlord tried to stay calm. He could still feel his screen glitching and electricity waving around him. He was voiceless. No thought was coming into his mind, the passionate kiss the shadow replica of his rival playing again and again in his head.

“A-Al...Alastor you-”

Nothing of what he tried to say made any sense. With the calm around them and their fight being over, more people and journalists came closer, impatient to hear and learn more about one of their legendary fights. Get your shit together Vox! There are cameras you can’t act like this right now! He tried to reassure himself and started to get up, putting a mask of confidence on his face.

“I guess I’ll let you win this time, Alastor!” He smirked, knowing the cameras were on both of them.

With his clothes in such a state, their wounds, and how out of breath he was it wouldn’t be difficult to let them believe that he lost the fight. Losing was still better than what could happen if the press learned about what happened.

“Oh shut up stupid TV.” Alastor said with a bitter tone, looking angry but not at him. There was something in his way to walk towards him that made the media Overlord both nervous and thirsty. For an ace in the hole, he could be so hot sometimes.

Before he could do anything Vox felt the other Overlord pull his shirt possessively and with a wilder behavior than his shadow replica he kissed him in front of the whole crowd of journalists. For the second time this day, Vox glitched and almost caused a blackout for the entire town.

“For anyone that wouldn’t know to whom you belong, Vox.” The deer demon whispered into his ears before biting him into the neck causing the whole crowd to gasp and Vox to reboot.

With a growl and his dear rival in his arms, Alastor growled at the journalist menacingly. A few seconds later they were alone but not before the flash of a dozen cameras, capturing the moment of intimity of the two demons. Surely Vox would have a lot of work to deal with once he woke up.

“Sleep well, my dear. It appears you’ll need all the rest you can find once you wake up.” Alastor said before gently kissing the screen of his rival and dearest demon.

#hazbin hotel #radiostatic #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x vox #vox x alastor #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #alastor #radiostatic week 2024 #tumblr fic

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beansmack2021 · 7 months

Note

Have you thought about doing "relationship sceanarios" for the hazbin characters? I've seen boyfriend/girlfriend sceanarios for fandoms on wattpad and quotev before, but that could be something that'd give you lots of different things to write 🙃

Relationship Scenarios

Alastor:

ROMANTIC

• Very sweet

• Calls you names like dearest, beloved, darling, love

• Would kill for you (and has)

• If you're hurt, he immediately sweeps you away and takes care of you himself

• Gets even redder in the face (if that's possible) if Angel gets a little too comfortable with you

• "Shoo, bug, before I squash you."

• Has ripped off a demon's arm for trying to grab your wrist on the street

• Lays awake at night, just listening to you breathe

• Knows you're a weakness, and tries to deny his feelings at first so he won't be putting you at risk, but can't push them back for any longer

• Vows to protect you for the rest of his time in hell instead

PLATONIC

• If you're younger than him, he becomes sort of like a father figure to you

• Wouldn't like letting you leave the hotel by yourself

• Won't ... gently... remind Husk of his deal in your presence (He doesn't want to subject you to seeing that)

• Hears your quiet cries and sniffles when you have nightmares and immediately comes to your bedside to comfort you

• "It's okay, little one. I'm here. Nothing can hurt you while I'm around."

• Gets nasty with anyone who even hints at you being anything less than the most important person in hell (You're the most important to him, at least)

• When you're hurt, he goes into protective dad mode

• Loses his absolute mind when he sees you crumple

• Believes you're the only person truly worthy of redemption, but doesn't want you to leave him

Husk:

ROMANTIC

• Always has your favorite drink ready for when you come to visit him at the bar

• Purrs when you're around, gets embarrassed

• Wishes he'd never made his deal with Alastor, if only so the two of you could live your afterlives freely together

• Gets angry when Alastor pulls him away if the two of you were together

• Doesn't express his love very often (he's not big into PDA) but when does, he's very genuine and sweet

PLATONIC:

• Keeps an eye on how many drinks you have a night

• Reminds you time and time again not to make deals with the Radio Demon. No matter what he could do for you, your soul isn't worth it.

• Showed you a magic trick once when you were upset to try and cheer you up

• Acts like he doesn't care, but he's a big softy.

• Has snacks that the hotel doesn't usually offer under the bar because he knows they're your favorite

• Hums songs that you sing because he can't get them out of his head

• You two occasionally dry glasses together in silence, just because you enjoy each other's presence

Sir Pentious:

ROMANTIC

• Cried when you accepted his offer to court you

• Gets annoyed when his egg boys follow you around on dates

• Welds gifts for you

• Tries to cook for you. Fails

PLATONIC

• Sometimes, you have to help him pull off some of the scales that he sheds

• Gives you a pair of old goggles because he realized that you liked his

• Asks you to fly around in his ship, teaches you how to fly it

Vox:

ROMANTIC

• Adores you, doesn't care about showing everyone on the Voxnet

• Makes sure you carry some piece of technology with you when you leave home, just in case something happens. He can get to you a lot faster if he can jump through screens. At the very least, he'd at least know where you are

• Hates Alastor, but is more worried about him doing something to you than their rivalry

• Always lets you choose what you're watching together

• Gets pissed at Valentino if he tries to make moves on you

PLATONIC

• You bought him glass cleaner as a gag gift once, only to find out you'd accidentally bought his favorite product for him

• You try to find his power button when you're mad at him

• Posts silly pictures of you. Sometimes they're cute, other times, he wants to embarrass you

• If his volume is too high when he yells, he apologizes immediately. He saw the way you'd flinch and felt awful for being the reason you'd been so nervous

Adam:

ROMANTIC

• Likes to take you out to eat. You guys live in heaven, you've got the best food you can find all around

• As much as he jokes about being the "dickmaster", he's very respectful and refrains from making jokes like that to you

• Takes you flying sometimes

• Wouldn't let you follow him into hell for extermination (you didn't need to see that)

PLATONIC

• Likes to knock out a few plates of ribs

• Suggests you two forming a band loads of times

• He makes a lot of jokes, but if they make you upset, he'll actually apologize

Lucifer:

ROMANTIC

• Worships the ground you walk on

• Kisses your hands

• Makes you a rubber ducky whenever you seem down (you have too many)

• Tries to bring you to the hotel whenever he visits Charlie

PLATONIC

• Tries to braid your hair, fails

• Thinks of you like another child

• Loudly screams he loves you from across the room, people mistake you for his lover

Angel Dust:

ROMANTIC

• The sex jokes stop when he's with you. He doesn't really care about that stuff, he cares about making the most of your time together

• You patch him up after a few rough shifts with Valentino

• He tries to become sober, if not for the hotel, then for you

• Doesn't want you to worry about him, no matter how bad he gets

PLATONIC

• Enjoys just sitting on the couch when it's the two of you

• Jokes about drugs, but would probably be disappointed if he found out you used

• Offers to put stuff on higher shelves for you

• Watches sad movies with you and cries (claims he doesn't)

Charlie:

ROMANTIC

• Loves hugs

• Will drag you outside to see the stars

• Probably cries about how beautiful you are

• Makes cards for you for every holiday

• Doesn't even breathe if you fall asleep on her shoulder

PLATONIC

• Brings you soup if you're sick

• Tries to help you grow some flowers, fails

• Helps you with your hair

• Is very sisterly

• Notices immediately when you're not in the mood for her optimism. Tones it down like 40 percent

Vaggie:

ROMANTIC

• Tries to stab Alastor for you

• You're the only person she trusts to help her trim her hair

• Steals your shirts

• When her wings come back, she takes you flying

• Tries to teach you how to use her spear

PLATONIC

• Tries to teach you Spanish

• Bandages your wounds after the extermination

• Has punched you out of instinct

• Loosens up just a little bit with you

• Tries to let her feelings out more

Rosie:

ROMANTIC

• Gives you the best part of her food every time

• Hums little tunes to you

• Eats people who make you angry

• Takes you shopping

PLATONIC

• Goes on walks through Cannibaltown with you

• Tries to get you to cut your hair like hers

• Kisses your cheeks in greeting

#hazbin hotel #hazbin fanfic #hazbin x reader #hazbin husk #alastor #x reader #hazbin #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbin lucifer

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jgabriel1920 · 11 days

Note

Fem Alastor and fem Vox who are interested in the same person 👀

Fem Vox AND Alastor Headcanons

Usually their rivalry is... One sided to say the least, Alastor not caring much for Vox "threats" and Vox being unable to ruin anything Alastor does.

However

That came to a end when Reader came to the picture.

He lived in the Hazbin Hotel and worked at Vox TV network, so both overlords were familiar with him.

Really familiar

One could say they were both stalkers by the way they watched their every move. Through the shadows and cameras around the city, both kept a eye on him.

To protect of course.

To Alastor, he was a interesting little toy she could play around.

To Vox, he was her most precious being to admire (she officially had said it was a "Science Experiement" but that was a unusually very bad lie from her)

The most incredible thing really wasn't the fact two overlords were after one sinner.

It was that they only met each other when they would first confess their love.

It was a usual day, and by "usual" it meant Alastor had dragged her darling to a fancy restaurant so she could watch him skirm in seeing cannibals having fun.

Although strangely it was just a normal restaurant. Well, as normal as one in hell can be that is.

He kept caution, but Alastor didn't even mind, just asking for the food they wished.

The two talked in a strangely common matter. No talking about dead bodies or blood.

Of course she did keep making him blush with the shower of compliments she gave him.

Eventually she would get up and kneel by his side, grabbing his hand and looking into his eyes.

"You are the most interesting thing I found in this unending nightmare, you know that? And... I wished to be you for a moment, So that I could confess to myself, All of you that's inside me, That you love me with an endless love~"

A blush raised to his cheeks, his heart beating like a drum.

Only for a loud sond to interrupt.

"READER I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU WANNA BE MY BOYFRIEND!!??"

He looked to the side to see outside the windows of the restaurant Vox with a huge band behind her playing a love song, while in her screen was a huge heart.

That made him blush harder, even start sweating bullets.

Although that was probably because of Alastor growing into a giant beast ready to pound on her.

Now, to cut the massacre that happened in that restaurant because of both parties, let's just say both were still alive because of Reader.

He weren't going to lie, he found both of them hot as hell. Not only in looks but in personality too (at least when they weren't being egotistical)

So, he agreed in dating only if they both would settle their "rivalry"

It was of course crazy to expect them both to simply stop despising each other because of a "lover"

It was what happened however.

In paper that is.

Because while both of them stopped trying to kill each other. (Took a week to at least stop definitely)

They still fought tooth and nails to get the better of the other.

To show who loved him more.

Although being completed honest Vox was still really excited for a threesome for some reason-

#fanfic #hazbin hotel #fanfiction #writing #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #vox x reader #reader x alastor #reader x Alastor x Vox #fem alastor #fem vox #gender bent

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nocreativityfornames · 7 months

Note

whats your opinion on the whole shipping alastor thing?

I'm not TOO bothered by it?

I mean, as long as you're not a bigoted asshole purposely dismissing this part of his identity because you don't respect the sexuality and the community and wish the writers had written him differently, I don't think it's THAT big of a deal.

Don't get me wrong, I still think it's a bit icky to do it even with no harmful intent. Similarly to how I think it's icky and eyebrow-raising to make a gay character straight for your amusement or to make a POC character white for the same reasons, even if you didn't mean any harm.

But at the end of the day people are going to do whatever they want whenever they want, what a portion of a fandom is doing isn't going to have an impact on the original work, these characters will maintain their intended identities in canon, and I don't have the energy to be arguing with people who'll probably dismiss all I have to say.

I mean, they're already doing that. Because I've seen way too many instances of people yapping "It's fiction, relax!" or "It's a spectrum, just because a person is aroace doesn't mean that they don't have sex/can't date!" whenever an aroace person gives an opinion on this topic that isn't "I'm okay with this and I actually ship aroace characters too."

Anyway, my conclusion is: you wanna take an aroace character and ship them with another character, write x reader fanfiction, etc? Go ahead, it's your life, do your thing. But at least be respectful of that sexuality and the community? Don't be a jerk if an aroace person expresses discomfort with what you're doing or simply disagrees with you, be understanding.

And to my fellow aroace people and the allies who are out there trying to educate the fandom on our sexuality and express a view of this that isn't the "I'm completely fine with this" one and are being met with the same annoying and repetitive invalidating replies or straight up aro/ace-phobia, just don't engage. For your own sake, just block them. Don't stress yourself out.

But yeah, it's not necessarily the shipping that bothers me, it's the disrespect coming from some people who are into the shipping. It's just... tiring. And I could write a whole essay on how frustrating it is that people don't value platonic relationships as much as romantic ones and how aroace people are just always being dismissed.

But not to end this on a negative note: I loooove that Alastor is aroace and the weirdo has a special place in my heart.

I love his interactions with Lucifer (my 2° fave :^), they're funny as hell and I wanna see more of their friendly rivalry next season. I can see them being that kind of chaotic besties that argue and bicker with each other all the time but are there for one another when shit goes down and I'm so here for it.

He and Rosie are also a delight. Love them with all my heart, I had an amazing time whenever they appeared on the screen together and those were for sure some of my favorite moments.

Also, Vox's being tragically in love with Alastor and not being reciprocated AT ALL it's just funny to me. I don't like TV man, make him suffer.

Anyway, Alastor is the best character in this goddamn show and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise, thank you for coming to my ted-talk :))))))

#yes some aroace ppl date but we know some ppl just throw that in as an excuse and make the entire discussion very shallow #also there's a difference between throwing his sexuality away altogether and taking it into account when you're writing a ship with him in #and I can very much appreciate when someone respects a character's aroace identity while shipping them #asks #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #aroace alastor #long post sorry #☙ no creativity for names ✾

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trashc-anon · 8 months

Text

hazbin hotel is polluting my mind so if I were the editor's intern: reco

• either stretch the season into 16 episodes or cut the plotlines in half;

• definitaly cut Alastor's screen time in half (if not more)

• make up your mind how much of the pilot is canon (especially regarding Lucifer)

• episode 1 is good as is, a soft reboot from the pilot without getting in too much detail and I love hating Adam, "Hell is Forever" is banger (i hope the music writers were properly paid and Disney learns why AI is a bad idea!)

• episode 2 is a problem, because Sir Pentious presence is only because of the V's, make that episode 2/2;

• ep 1/2 - Charlie and Vaggie leave the hotel to recruit; Sir Pentious attacks, all on schedule

• Charlie or Vaggie save some of the eggs from being crushed; when the "battle" is over, Pentious is cautiosly agrees to entertain their hospitalty; angel is untrusting;

• "Starts with Sorry"

• leave the Vs as unseen foes, and Alastor's only appearance is his shadow at the end of the episode (Overlords are mysterious unseen threat)

• episode 2/2 - Vs are anxious that Alastor is with the princess;

• see, the first couple of episodes make sense, but they take away from the girls and the hotel

• but "Stayed Gone" is sooo good! maybe use at a later date?

nevermind

• "Stayed Gone" is a fun song, BUT it doesn't make sense for Alastor, mysterious serial killer, to have childish rivalries; why didn't he kill Vox back when he rejected him and Vox got 'pissy'?

• either make Vox less pathetic or less there;

• soooo, episode 3/1 is would be trust exercises

• i actually liked Angel's plan with BDSM, he's not wrong and I wished he had the chance to be an adult that LIKES sex separate from the victim that uses overtsexuality as a defence mechanism

• each character could have their own moment to show what trust means to them; trust comes in different shades;

• between Angel and Maggie we see sexual intimacy and surviving extreme situations; Husk has issues with openess; Niffty with intrusive thoughts;

• IN FACT! actually stablish WHY Husk and Niffty are part of the exercises! they're not guests, Husk says as much, they are employees LOANED by Alastor; they're not there to earn redemption; *vague hand gesture in confusion*

• OKAY - Overlord meeting... ehhhhhh

• i still want to cut Alastor's screentime! whats the point of the meeting? screentime for the overlords, the dead angel (which we know, but main cast won't until episode 7) Carmila being responsible is important, we need to know who to ask for help, but ugh. I get its also, prelude that you need love to fight and win against angels, but its never stablished in canon, Carmila says it to Maggie to use as internal compass to keep her fighting beyond pain and fear; bloodlust is distracting, love is focused;

• my delight with Zestial being all dark and yummy need to take a hike for the sake of - what am i even doing any more?

• I can't help but think how much of these decision are also based on Voice Actor salaries; because Keith David (Husk) gotta be expensive and for a character that is literaly always presented he almost never talks; and just, ALL of them being expensive and ~ahahah better make fewer episodes if you want big names in your projects~

• ughhhh that's when you know a series has issues, when trying to fix you run into a thousand more problems;

• i would respect how much they put into 8 episodes, ONLY IF it's true they didn't know they would get season 2. Because in that case a bunch of these plot lines needed to be dropped, I don't care how fanfavorite the character is;

• the Vs serve no purpose what so ever, you can easily have Valentino as a lone villain (also less confusion about hells social rules about SA and abuse);

• Lucifer should've been the last big name to enter screen; work up to the trial with Heaven for S2E01 (why even a trial)

• just how PLOT heavy is this series that Viv needed Lilith's bomb to drop in season 1? which is a major inconsistancy for a series based on the theme of redemption, a CHARACTER heavy theme;

• as it is, i don't see how Sir Pentious being redeemed is a good thing, because he died before entering Heaven, so other souls need to die too and hope it's not forever? wouldn't that fuel Exterminators cause to kill in name of 'clensing'? (holy shit, the more I write the worse it gets)

• IS there an primordial EVIL to scare the angels so badly?

• omg I hope they won't try to bring actual GOD into the series; I know there is concept art floating around, but please, do not;

• Supernatural barely got away with it in Season 5 because it was a funny 'what if' and made it got bad in Season 10 (?) (no series should ever emulate Supernatural, its a warning I mean it, don't, not worth it, you don't have 10+ years of dead horse to beat)(the fans, me, stayed out of, idk, regretfull loyalty)

• my english is not good enough for this... KAY IM DONE NOW! BYEEEE

#hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical #i know im late to the party #just needed to work the brain muscles myself and leave it at that

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androgynousblackbox · 6 months

Text

How I Met Your Father. 4 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

A03 link

Alastor woke up to a most lovely view: Lucifer with his wings out, floating above the floor as he casually examined his bookcase, his pants barely reaching the floor. He almost looked like a ghost without his feet showing. Alastor was perfectly content with keep watching when suddenly his nose turned up to a tray left on his bedside table.

"Did you go to the kitchen?" By yourself?, was the implied question.

Lucifer turned around and smiled, flying up to the bed and bringing the tray with magic to float between the two.

"I portalled home to get it. Didn't want to wake you up for that. Coffee?"

"Yes, thank you" Lucifer took the favorite mug of Alastor and hold it between his hands for a bit, warming it up with his magic. By the end it was almost boiling, exactly how he liked it in the morning. Alastor let out a sigh when the burn reached his whole chest. "Very much appreciated."

"You are most welcome" Lucifer started dumping sugar cubes into his tea. Alastor thought he was lucky to be who he was or he would have lose his teeth a long time ago. "What do you have planned for today?"

"Well, I have my broadcast and after that will go with Rosie for some meat. We are running low on that. Then I have a meeting with the overlords of the area. I don't know what Carmilla wants, but it has to be something to require all of us at once."

"Probably something to do with the extermination coming up" commented Lucifer, looking between all the things he brought until he found the apple mermelade for his toast.

"More than likely" Alastor could not imagine that going well if the idea was to present any kind of unified front. Overlords didn't come to their position by being team players, unless they had something to gain. If the gain was to keep themselves alive, they could do that on their own already.

"Do you want me to go with you? I could be a mouse on your shoulder."

Lucifer offered it up like it was no big deal, but Alastor squinted his eyes. The last time that Lucifer had seen him fight with overlords it had been… ugly to say the least, so it's not like he could be surprised by the concern. It was the part that implied he couldn't take care of himself that bothered him.

"It won't be necessary. Most of them are old school. They are above petty fighting. If Carmilla asked for a peaceful meeting they will respect that."

"Most of them is not all" Lucifer munched on his toast, pensative. "Isn't that TV guy that has a crush on you going to be there?"

Alastor didn't bother to point out that years of rivalry wasn't "a crush." Mostly because he also had no idea if that is what it was. He just found it funny poking at the bear until the bear electrocuted himself. Who wouldn't?

"I can handle Vox, darling. Why? Are you perhaps jelous?" teased lightly. He could always use a bit of an ego boost if that was the case. "You know you can just tell me."

Lucifer frowned, grabbing the pillow closest to him and hitting his side with it. It didn't hurt at all.

“Ouch. Domestic violence so early in the morning?”

"Idiot. I am serious."

"Me too, love" Alastor chuckled, going over the tray to kiss his lips. The sweet taste never seemed too bad when it was second hand like that. "Nothing bad is going to happen. It's probably going to be too boring anyway. Certain doom does bring out that on people."

Lucifer looked down his lap. For him and Charlie they were going to be fine, but Alastor was out of his deal with heaven and that weighed on him during each extermination.

"Still, just…" He sighed. "Just keep me updated."

"Of course, dear" Alastor patted the leg of the king covered by his pant, conciliatory. They continued on with their breakfast. "What is on your schedule for today? Are you maybe going to stay with Charlie on the hotel?"

"I wish. I have this stupid thing with Asmodeus to renovate the permits of distribution for his sex toys across all the rings and I am dying of boredom just thinking about it. He also wants me to authorize the creation of another of his stone thingies as requested by one of the Goetia, so that is more paperwork to go through" Lucifer groaned, rubbing his face. "Forget divine punishment. Burocracy is the true hell."

Alastor hummed softly, bringing up the king closer to him until he was sitting between his legs, his arms wrapped around the other's waist. Alastor nuzzled the top of Lucifer's head, that he still haven't brushed back so it lay messily around his head.

"My poor responsible king" said gently, kissing his crown and smiling as he lowered his voice. "You know you could also just deny them everything. Let them beg for it on their knees. Maybe ask for a good enough sacrificial prize. The Goetias have plenty of members, they can spare one for the chopping block."

"And that is why I stopped bringing you to the meetings" Lucifer lifted his head up, looking at his husband with a much less that impressed expression. The devil to the devil's shoulder, who would have consumed the entirety of hell in perpetual chaos if given the chance. Alastor smiled before coming down to kiss him again and Lucifer relaxed, turning around without separating as he wrapped his arms around the demon's neck. He scratched the nape of his husband with his claws, enjoying the sensation of the buzzed part under his bob. Soon he would have to shave it again. "It's fine. I will try to finish that thing and just stay home. Join me for lunch?"

Alastor nodded, humming appreciately at the attention, like a satisfied cat. Lucifer smiled. If only deer could purr, he would never get over causing that on his husband.

"I will cook" offered up first, kissing his nose before sitting down again.

They enjoyed the rest of their breakfast until they cleaned up the whole tray. Alastor could have eaten a lot more, he always could, but he could get something else to sink his teeth into at Rosie's place. Lucifer texted Charlie to tell her that he was going back to the palace now, while Alastor changed and dressed up for the day. Neither of them was surprised when their daughter knocked at their door minutes after. Charlie quickly closed the door behind her as soon she was given the come in.

"Are you sure you can't stay, papa?"

"I have king things to take care of, duckling. Another time."

"Extremely boring stuff. A little bit of slaughtering would have come a long way, but alas!" sighed Alastor cheery, picking up his pocket watch before going to pet the head of their daughter. "I am also retiring, my dear. Overlord matters for once."

"Oh, okay. Ah, but dad!" said Charlie, caughting the hand of the man before he went to the door. "I actually wanted to ask you a teeny tiny small little favor, if you don't mind."

Alastor's smile froze in his face. He knew that tone. It was never a small favor when Charlie had that tone.

"Anything for my little fawn."

Luckily, he could handle almost about everything.

"And after all of that, she just gave the eggies back to the snake man?" asked Lucifer, serving a big portion of the roasted beef he had made onto the plate of Alastor.

Alastor nodded as he extended a napkin over his lap.

"The fallen angel just changed her mind like that."

"Vaggie."

"I was just starting to get used to them too" continued on Alastor dramatically, ignoring the correction. "Once they actually learned to shut up, they were almost tolerable."

"Oh wow. That is some high praise coming from you" commented Lucifer, grinning.

"Indeed. But anyway, the meeting itself was a total bust, like I imagined it would be. The only thing I took from it is that Carmilla killed one of the exorcist and one of the Vees found it's head."

Lucifer chocked on the wine he was drinking. Alastor was hoping for a reaction for that, that is why he waited until he was drinking something to drop it.

"WHAT" coughed up Lucifer and patted his own chest until he could finally talk again. "One of the overlords took down an exorcist?! And you didn't bother to tell me that before!?"

"I am telling you now, darling."

"You should have told me right away!" Lucifer's face then through irritated to horrified as his head was slowly connecting the dots, grabbing onto his hat. "Oh. That's why those fuckers are rushing the extermination now! They think we want to kill them so they are going to kill everyone first! Why the fuck did Carmilla do that?! I thought you said they were old school?!"

"Apparently she was protecting her own children" Or at least that is what he thought the eggboy had said. "I can't say I don't understand that."

Lucifer bite his lip down, making a small strangled noise.

"Okay, fine! That still doesn't mean this isn't fucked up."

"One of the Vees was bragging about wanting a war and fighting back now that we know the exorcist can be killed."

"Which is total bullshit, obviously! They just want everyone else to go fight and die so they can take their turfs and souls!"

"It's not a bad idea" Alastor would have done the same if he had been the one to find the head. That he had to aknowledge to that Vee. Whatever her name was.

He knew already that angels could be killed. Being married to a fallen angel gave him that kind of insight that none of the overlords would have. But he was never interested in using that piece of information in that way because there was not enough garantee of any benefit for him. With a real tangible body to show for it could have been a different story, he imagined.

"It is if you are going to piss off heaven into total anhilation!" The moment Lucifer started to hiperventilate, that is when Alastor stand up from his chair and conjured up a paper bag for him to breath into, rubbing his shoulder. "This is bad, this is bad, this is so fucking bad."

"You worry too much, dear" Alastor soften up his voice, having one of his shadow to move his chair closer so he could still be at eye level with the king. "We have survived thus far just fine. Heaven tried to take you down once and they couldn't. Why it would be now any different?"

"It's not me I am worried about!" Lucifer's big eyes stared at him. The bag pressed against his face was inflating and deflating like a lung would. "What if they catch you? What if they go after Charlie next?"

"This again?" Alastor sighed, taking out his pocket watch that shined silver against the light, perfect like it had just come out the shop despite being years that Alastor got it. "I carry this with me everywhere precisely so you don't get worried about me. Charlie is hellborn. They won't touch her. I won't let them."

"They might if she goes too far" Lucifer breathed in and breathed out as he shook his head. "I knew this redemption thing of hers was a bad idea."

"What would you have prefered to instead? For her to be a doll that just did our will?"

"You know that I don't."

"Do I? Because what I hear is a lot of doubt over the path our daughter is freely choosing for herself."

"Oh, that is rich coming from you" Lucifer glared at him, finally separating the bag from his face. At least an angry Lucifer wasn't a panicking Lucifer. "You don't believe on any of that nonsense either!"

"I don't. I think our daughter is hopelessly naive and will go nowhere with this project. But she won't see the end of this dream until it crash and burn in her face. Until that day comes, as her father is my duty to be there for her. That is the only thing we can do so when she sees the truth, it won't destroy her little heart."

Lucifer squeezed the bag on his hand and then burn it, burying his head between his arms against the table. Alastor let his hand go up and down the back of the king. A few moments passed until Lucifer talked again.

"I hate it when you are right."

"I know" Alastor snickered. "What a common experience that must be for you."

Lucifer grunted as a response. Alastor let him gather himself up. After a while his husband took a deep breath and came out from his arm cacoon, eyes closed.

"Alright" Lucifer brushed his hair back. "So Heaven knows that we can kill them and that got them trigger happy. Who else knows about this?"

"Nobody outside of Carmilla's inner circle and now us" Alastor didn't bother counting Frank. Even if that thing spoke, nobody would believe him. "That Vee girl is suspicious but has no actual confirmation. If it's of any consolation, for what I could perceive none of the other overlords fell for her bait and probably will prefer to stay out of trouble too."

"That is something at least" Lucifer looked up to the ceiling, as if trying to imagine the next move of Heaven. "I assume suggesting that you and Charlie spend the extermination here is pointless, isn't it?"

"I am afraid so. She won't want to leave either her new friends or the hotel behind."

Lucifer sighed again, squeezing his hands against his eyes and rubbing them as he let his claw pinch against his white skin. When he saw the grab becoming more fierce, Alastor sighed as he stand up and took the hands off, gently closing them on his.

"Everything will be alright" It was the only thing he could promise as he kissed his hand and then caressed his cheek, not minding the tears that were starting to drop. "I will take care of her."

"I just feel so useless."

"You can't interfere either. It was part of the deal."

"I fucking know that already" Lucifer pulled out one of his hands to whipe his face quickly, getting frustrated when he realized he couldn't stop crying now.

"It's okay" Alastor used his tentacles to lift Lucifer up from his chair into his lap, his arms grabbing to his sides as strongly he could.

Lucifer could handled it. Lucifer could handle a lot of things, including this. He just needed some time and Alastor was willing to give it to him.

He caressed the back of his head soothingly when the full blow sobbing started. From somewhere inside his own chest, he let out the static resound through his body. The white noise usually did wonders to calm him down.

"The food went cold" pointed out Lucifer when he did just that. Alastor could almost see the physical effort to not apologize for his response. Alastor didn't need it and it only made Lucifer feel worse about himself. "I will reheat it."

Lucifer didn't move from his lap as he extended his magic over the food, getting it warm and inviting on a moment. Alastor was about to reach for his fork when Lucifer's first appeared in front of him, with a piece of the meat.

"You are one huge dick for waiting so long to tell me" said Lucifer with a face that looked to be struggling to keep up his pout. Alastor had to agree. He was expecting a funny reation and he had clearly miscalculated by a lot. "But thank you. For still listening."

"Whenever you want, dear" He did accept the food offered to him, because it was his husband giving it to him.

Lucifer feed him plenty and then himself, resting comfortably against the chest of Alastor as he drank from his glass.

"Do you have anything else to do today? Can't you stay and tell me the story? The real one?"

Alastor was planning to have a stroll by the city, but he could do that any other day. If Charlie needed him she knew already how to contact him.

"Of course" Lucifer kissed his jaw, resting his cheek against his neck as if he enjoyed the warm there. "You are not going to eat anymore?" He felt a negative shake. "Can I finish?" A positive sound, like a low grumbling. The hands of Lucifer hold his back from the sides without squeezing. "Thank you."

Alastor cleaned up his plate with one hand, holding his husband with the other, until he was fully satisfied. He teleported everything back to the kitchen to take care of it later. Lucifer decided to stand up and lead him by one hand to their living room, where the chimney woke up with a warm blue fire with a gesture of Lucifer's graceful fingers.

"Come here" Alastor sat on the biggest couch as he was being instructed and Lucifer laid on it, resting his head over his lap. Now he seemed much more relaxed than before and that was a relief. "Okay, I am ready."

Alastor hummed approvingly and let his hand to rest against Lucifer's crown, gently petting with his thumb as he thought about this words carefully.

"The whole truth, love? Are you sure?"

"Mmm, yes. This is just for us, babe, so you can go all out."

"As you wish.

"Since I was very young, I learned a simple truth about the world. Either you take control of your own life or someone will take it from you. Always play your cards right, never reveal your hand unless you can gain a stronger card, cheat if you have to. All of that became even more important to never forget about when I woke up here.

In a way, it was a blessing. I wouldn't have fit in any other place. Back on earth I had a reputation to keep in order to keep doing what I loved. Here, nobody cared! A neighbor that had killed at least once was nothing else but the norm. I would never have to hide anymore. I would never have to play by anyone's else rules but my own.

I will admit it, my love. My first few years I went a little trigger happy, as you would say. I was like a starving man that was finally let inside the biggest buffet on all of creation and told that I could eat as much as I wanted to without ever getting sick or full. Gluttony became my one true religion, the only one I ever willingly bothered to follow in fact. And hell was full of so many little dishes ready for the taking.

Death didn't make people any more wise. They were all indulging themselves on their own depravity just the same as me, making it all the more easy for me to use their vices against them. I didn't even know that other people were doing something similar until someone called me by my new title. Overlord. Unknowingly I had become part of the hierarchy of power here in hell. I learned that even though the souls that I consumed made me stronger, there would always be beings above myself. Creatures who were never human and were far older than I could even imagine.

I hated that in principle, of course. I finally found the place where I belonged only to find out that I was still at risk of someone else power. The fact that these "rulers" were pretty relaxed and there was essentially no law served as little comfort. Since I couldn't go up the ladder, I found a cure for my dissapointment by eliminating all the overlords on my path I could get my hands on. My power was growing the more hands I shook and the more souls I devoured.

I had no idea that by taking those overlords, all of their contracts were directly transfered to my control. Once again, completely by chance, just doing what I pleased, was I doing exactly what I should have. It's funny how fate can work sometimes like that, isn't it? Although I can understand why that wasn't a fact that was so freely advertised. Lesser demons would feel threatened knowing that the more souls they take, the bigger the target on their back, the more desirable their heads on a platter become.

To me, that was only the more reason to advertise my victories through my beloved radio. Why would you bother to be the best if you aren't going to tell everyone that you are? After a while, I didn't had to keep looking for new dishes anymore. They just came running directly into my mouth, either thinking that they could get some form of protection or to try to prove themselves.

One night, I took a little snack. It was just a new soul that had just come to hell and was desperate to find a friend. So easy to disuade. Truth be told, I had no reason to do it. I could have get ride of him or tell him to get lost just as easily. But I felt peckish and sometimes an easy prey can be just enough. He had quite a lovely scream, the type that you call earth shattering, heartbreaking. His little heart pop up between my fingers like a delicious ripe grape. When I finished to add him to the voice of the other damned, every hair on my body stand out. I felt that foreign magic around me, I knew I couldn't do anything to fight it, before I was teleported to another place I couldn't recognize.

It what the place that later I would call my home. But back then it wasn't and I couldn't understand what I was doing there, who had brought me. It was only when I turned around that I saw what looked to me like just another demon entering through the hallway, dressed up on a comfy rub and eating a bowl of ice cream. The moment we both saw each other other I felt a tingling on my hand and I saw a perfect golden ring manifest around my finger, just as the other demon was.

Well, well, I said, thinking this definitely meant that that demon was the responsible for bringing me there. More than anything because he was the onlying living thing I could see. What do we have here? A kidnapper? Or a challenger? The demon looked horrified, but curiously enough I got the sense that it wasn't specifically because of me. The ring on my finger was all he could focus on.

And what did you say then, love?”

“By any chance, how many souls have you taken?”

“That was my first clue something was wrong here. Someone had summoned me and that was their first concern? I said a few, because I certainly wasn't keeping any score either. Why would I need to do that?

The tiny demon then raised his hand, glowing in red, and did something. I don't know what it was, but I felt suddenly exposed in a way not even now I could describe, but there was no way to cover up. It lasted merely a moment, enough for him to find out whatever it was that he wanted to see, and then I launched myself to him as I reevaluated myself. I wasn't hurt, my staff was intact, my suit was complete. But something had happened and that was enough reason for my hand to close off around that beautiful, pristine neck, squeezing tight so I could strangle some answer out of him.

My next clue that something was wrong was when the demon looked at me without surprise or fear. Just mortified, as if I had caught him on his underwear.

Okay, look, listen, he said while he stood there, not at all affected by my fist. I lifted him up in the air and put against the closest wall, but not even then he was intimidated. I was starting to get pissed off when he said I think I know what happened, but I need to call someone to confirm. Can you just wait a bit?

I asked what could he tell me right now. If he didn't speak, then I would take that as a enthusiastic permission to disembowl him all over that pretty carpet on the living room.

He… pouted. This tiny demon just pouted like I was somehow the unreasonable one and frustating him! Did he had no sense of self preservation at all? Just how stupid could he be? Since he insisted in that we could sort all of this out if I let him make a call, I took a deep breath and let him go. He wasn't even coughing, casually just saying a thank you before going to a phone on his wall, giving me his back with zero concern at all about what I could do. No doubt about it, this demon was a complete nutcase. Clinically insane surely.

I found myself fascinated by it. What followed were easily the most awkward pass of time I had to endure. By that I mean that the tiny demon irradiated pure awkwardness as he sat on his couch, twidling his thumbs and actively looking at everything before myself or his own hands. I may have also contributed to it staring at nothing else but him and waiting for him to say the first word. I can have infinite patience when it comes to anything I find interesting enough, and at that moment, that was contemplating this deranged tiny demon struggling to pretend I wasn't there. He wasn't interested on making any conversation and I didn't care to help him either.

At last, I could hear a portal opening close by and a giant blue demon came in. That was Asmodeus. I could recognize him instantly from advertisement about his products that were all over hell. So you can imagine my surprise when the embodiment of lust himself looked at me and then at the other demon. His eyes quickly found our rings. Lucifer, he asked, is that the guy?

Suddenly it all made sense. Why this tiny man was completely unaffected by my usual tactics. I was just now realizing I could never hurt him physically in any way that mattered because that was one of the creatures that were placed above me on the hierarchy. The very head of the whole pyramide in fact.

Our king whose face had confined himself to the interior of his own palace since before I landed in hell, now reveled to me. I don't know what I was expecting, but I can certainly tell you it wasn't that. He was, and still is, so tiny. You would never know the kind of power that body hold.

After some more back and forth between the two sins, I finally asked what was happening. If nobody was looking to fight me or kill me, I couldn't imagine what they could want out of me. I was never made aware of any law that I could have broken or that the sins themselves, the king on top of that, would even care if I did.

You still didn't want to talk to me, so Asmodeus took the reign and the story he told me took my head for a spin.

Apparently, many, many years ago, when hell was still young, Asmodeus tried to set up his king on another blind date so he could potentially find a worthy partner to rule hell with. The other sins had tried as well, to no avail. Lucifer didn't seem to "connect" with anyone. They were always too powerhungry, money hungry or hungry for something else that Lucifer wasn't interested on being the foundation of a whole relationship. It's not like his majesty had spend all those years in complete celibacy either, but whatever is that he was looking on a partner he couldn't find it. And he was getting so tired of trying that he decided to get drunk, as one does to try to forget what is unpleasant.

A drunk Lucifer is a blast at first, according to Asmodeus. Dancing with the sin of gluttony all night, creating elaborate musical numbers out of thin air about how good the single life was and how he didn't need a partner anyway, because he was the king of hell! He could do and say and fuck whoever he wanted whenever he wanted! Why would he ever need anything else? He declared, right there and then, that he wasn't going to keep looking anymore at all! No, instead his new partner would come to him! Write this down and make it official, he insisted, slurring over his words, insisting on it until he saw the embodiment of lust pulling up writing utensils to do so. If a sinner ever came to posses 666 souls at once, not any more or any less, just that exact amount, then that was going to be his perfect partner.

Because clearly, someone that was such a pure embodiment of evil to do that had to be only perfect for the creator of evil in humanity. Flawless logic! You see, that was the real issue. That everyone was too good for him or not evil enough for the task of being at his side. Just right there, that would make it official, write that down. No need for an actual wedding or anything trivial like asking that hypothetical sinner if they wanted to get married in the first place, nope. He was the king and so his word was law enough, and therefore nobody else would have to bother to set him up for another failure ever again.

I will let you guess what my little snack meant for my own numbers. That is what Lucifer was verifying with his own magic when I felt exposed. When he saw that 666 marked across my own soul, he knew what it meant. Ah, but that is not the best part of this lovely tale, my darling listener.

No, the best part of all was that Lucifer had completely forgotten about it. As in, it wasn't even a thought. For thousands of years, that night remained as a vague memory that never really came up again. Asmodeus, very understandingly so, assumed that Lucifer was just going to keep put and wait for that sinner. He thought that surely some part of the king had meant those words and therefore would take them to heart. The king got drunk so rarely and never to the point to completely forget about everything the next day, so no doubt this wasn’t going to be any different now. In order to respect that desire, for as bizarre as it was, he didn't try to set him up with more partners and neither did the rest of the sins. After all, if he didn't truly meant it, he was free to undo it anytime he wanted to.

Meanwhile, Lucifer spend years living his life as a single king without any worry about how this little curse he had imposed on all of hell could ever play out for him.

My dear beloved husband, my new husband, was a certified idiot. There was no rock under which I could hide from the secondhand embarrasment when I heard about it.

Similar to how you seem to be wanting to do right now, my dear, indeedy! Remember you said all of the truth, my love. Want me to continue? Yes?

Alright.

So after the two sins realized the misunderstanding that happened, the next issue was adressing me. The king immediately assured me that I didn't had to do anything, that I wasn't being forced to stay and he was so terribly sorry. He understood that was a stupid decision he made in a moment he was being particularly stupid and it was his fault, not mine or even Asmodeus's to deal with. The embodiment of lust was just trying to be a good friend. He could undo it, of course, there was no need to worry about that. The ring would naturally dissolve the moment he erased the condition and our marriage would cease to be. Once he did that, I could get back to my evil doing like nothing happened.

Asmodeus was the only one who didn't seem in any rush to do that. You know, he is not that bad looking, he said considering me. As he looked at me, I thought on the utter absurdity of a giant like that one being less powerful than the tiny man in front of me. I just couldn't get over how small he was. You could have gotten someone a lot worse, remarked Asmodeus and I felt a tinsy bit offended to be honest. I came here for being the worst already, thank you very much. But I understood he meant it in the look apartment anyway.

And he is here already so, continued on, why not give it a try?

Until he said that, maybe because of how small our king was, I hadn't fully realized what this whole ordeal meant. The fact that I was suddenly married was nothing compared with the question of who that was with. I had become the spouse of the devil, through sheer turn of events that only tangentially were my own creation. I could be the most powerful being in all of hell already, make the rules. I could get the total control I so desperately wanted and nobody, ever, would be above me. All I had to do was being at the side of this creature and play my role accordingly. How easy could that be?

My husband also considered me for a second, but he clearly was still more embarrassed by the whole situation to be swift off his feet by my charming smile. I would have to fix that.

That doesn't sound like a bad idea, I said as if it was a brilliant one. I haven't had much luck on dating either, added, without saying that was entirely because I was never interested in dating before. Why would I want to make myself vulnerable and defenseless in front of anyone else, someone who could take advantage of that? What kind of idiot does that?

But I kept going. I apologized for my earlier treatment of his Majesty. I was just confused and surely he could understand how walking on the side of caution was necesary down here. I thought that someone had brought me there wanting to cause me harm, but if it was a exploration for a union then that was a entirely different story. I didn't find the king repellent either, I said, looking at his blonde hair and his face that I now could see being part of Heaven. But also noticing the black fingers that could surely pop my own heart in my chest if I made the wrong move. I am not going to deny there was already a form of excitement attached to that notion. Here in hell I have been living so comfortably I had forgotten how entertaining can be living on the edge too. But I kept that for myself.

This was an unusual start for any relationship, sure, but all relationships have their quirks, don't they?, continued as if I had any idea. I looked at the king hoping he would see the sincerity that I could fake so well when it suit me. If your Majesty would be willing to have me, I am willing to give this a try too.”

“I knew you were full of shit” Lucifer took the hand that was resting over his chest and played with the fingers, reminiscing too. “I have seen enough charmers to recognize one. I was the original charmer. I knew you didn't give a shit.”

“Then why did you accepted to have me there instead of nulling the marriage, love?” Alastor knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it straight from the source.

Lucifer also knew it, but he let a moment pass before he spoke again.

“It was the first time in decades I was talking to someone that wasn't the other sins” confessed, curling up in Alastor’s lap, not letting go of his hand. “Even if you were a piece of shit, I thought you at least could be fun to talk to. If I nullified the marriage right there, you would have no reason to stick around.”

Alastor made a soft croon sound, brushing the hair of Lucifer with his fingers. He didn't say he was wrong. He wasn't.

“I am glad you didn't” did say because that was also true.

Lucifer nodded his head, bringing the hand of his husband against his chest. Alastor could feel the warmth of his skin through the shirt on his fingers and the soft beating of his heart.

“And so that is how we started living together. I was given my own room where I was told I could do anything I wanted to and I was free to get out to do whatever is that I wanted. The only thing that was expected from me was to not talk to anyone about my new marital status for the moment, something I had no issue at all to comply with, and to share at least one meal with his Majesty everyday. You don't have to, told me the king, not looking me in the eyes, so I knew that was the bare minimum I could do if I wanted any of this to last. I had no issue with that either. Otherwise I could roam through the palace freely the rest of the time. If I needed something that could be bought, I just had to ask.

We were just like roommates for a while. Probably better than most roommates with Lucifer being willing and able to provide for me if needed, but not more than that. My plan to get the ultimate control over hell had one glaring issue I somehow didn't realize before.

I had no idea what to do to seduce someone. I could convince someone to give me their soul by playing what I knew they wanted to hear and I knew how to come across as a friend in order to being able to do that. I had a clear objective and a way to go about it. Given my total lack of experience when it came to interpersonal relationships of this nature, I was quite literally lost as to what to do. Make the king fall in love with me so he would allow me to have his power was just as vague of a plan as it could have been. How do people even fall in love with in the first place? What combinations of words or gestures do they need for that? I had no clue.

My new husband didn't made things easier for me. Besides our meals together, he wasn't really after my presence. He wasn't avoiding me by any means, and if we end up being at the same space at the same time, we usually could spend that time fine enough. Even then, the king usually left first to his own study, door always close. He seemed satisfied with just having someone around his house to have a brief conversation with, but surely that couldn't be enough to keep a whole marriage alive?

Although what does keep a marriage going was another question I certainly did not had an answer to either. My own parents were not the best examples to pull from, to say the least. I appreciate that Lucifer wasn't demanding things from me that I wouldn't be comfortable with, that was the bare minimum he could do after all, but I had no idea how long we could keep this up before he decided to kick me out, declaring this whole experiment another failure.

Our media provided with no help. The usual means that included a tantalizing vision of my body was out of the question. I would very much like to keep my dignity through all of this if possible. On the other hand, I wasn't sure that trying to touch Lucifer and suddenly being all over his space wouldn't also mean a sudden divorce. Not to mention certain death or loss of members for me. I just had no idea of how to get a read on him to know what I could offer him.

Our conversations during meal time were light and I quickly noticed that Lucifer would prefer to talk about anything before himself. When I tried to get him to talk about his role or what he had done during the day, he kept saying it wasn't anything that interesting before turn it on me.

It was a month after our arrangement that I finally swallowed some of my pride and end up asking the only person whose insight I could respect in all of hell. Not to mention, I knew she would be discreet enough to not repeat a word of what I said to her.

To say that Rosie was shocked when she heard my predicament would be a understatement. Her mouth formed a perfect o when I told her, omitting as many details as necessary and already keeping a glove over the ring. I had just told her that there was a demon, a very powerful and fearsome one, that I wanted to get close to and form a bond with, but I didn't know how without putting myself at risk or lose all contact.

She knew this was new territory for me, so much she had assumed that I would never want to touch that kind of topic as far I existed. I couldn't really say that she was entirely wrong either. I don't think I would have ever cared if it wasn't for these special circumstances. I also kept for myself the portion about all of this being part of a plan to gain power myself. Her own moral code would have being against playing with someone's heart like that. Someone only had to ask whatever remained of her ex husband's to know that much. So I let her believe it came from my own desire to be closer to this demon and she excitedly was ready to help me out.

She told me that if this demon was so insistent on keeping up the distance between us, then I would have to be the one to close it. Show interest for his interests, find out about what made him happy and try to engage from that side.

That was when I became very curious to enter his study, the place where he spend up most of his day, supposedly working away on his royal duties. I was imagining piles and piles of papers signed with mortal blood, maybe books full with the whole knowledge of humanity contained on them, arcaics instruments and devices from civilizations long forgotten. Something incomprehensible and old and so mentally demanding that of course he would spend his hours on that alone.

When I finally asked if I could come and my king hesitantly told me yes, though, there was none of that at all. It was surprising, just as surprising as finding piles and piles of rubber duckies could be.

I didn't ask is this it? Is this all you do all day? Just being stuck with these yellow squeaky things? I could tell he wasn't proud of it either, waiting for my reaction. Instead I took a look around, noticing thankfully there was more than duckies as handmade wooden puppets hanging from the wall, an area full with painting supplies and sculpting tools. Some, if not all, of these duckies must have come from his own hands. An odd expression of creativity, but an expression nonetheless.

After a while letting the silence fill the air, I just needed to know why duckies. Just why. I could understand wolves, lions, maybe even cats if I had to guess, not duckies. I wasn't prepared at all for my husband suddenly going on a long tangent about how duckies were the best already, dumping on me a bunch of facts about them that I had no idea about, about their character, their feathers of which every liquid slide without leaving them wet, their beaks that had especial filters for when they ate on the water, about how their babies imprinted on anything they saw and not just on their own species. Everything said with the same enthusiasm as if they were the most impressive creatures in all of the universe. It was like a dam had just exploded in front of me. I could only imagine how many years he had been waiting for someone to ask that question.”

“Too long” aported Lucifer with a low giggle, blushing.

“I believe you” Alastor smiled indulgently. “I still had no idea what to do with that information. If it had been any of the things I was expecting, I could make a conversation out of that. But Lucifer had all of the words anyone could ever say about duckies and letting them fall on me like a whole avalanche. This was the most animated I had ever see him since I came to know him. Finally, as if suddenly realizing it had been ten minutes and I haven't said anything, mostly because he wasn't giving me an entry, my husband asked if he was boring me.

No, I said because I wasn't bored. The topic itself wasn't interesting to me, but the response that it brought from him was fascinating. I asked if he did those duckies himself and he started presenting them to me, with their own names, backstories, pointing out the details that made them unique and especial. It was in the middle of that I noticed a bookcase with duckies separate from the rest and I recognize one of them as representing Asmodeus. The other ones I could only imagine were about the other sins.

Do you want me to make one for you, suddenly offered my king, seeing what I was looking. I didn't know if I wanted one, I had no idea what I would do with it if anything, but refusing a gift was out of the question for my plan to work. So I said yes, of course.

Your face light up like even more that while talking about your beloved duckies, my dear. I had been given gifts before, of course, but I don't believe anyone was as excited about it as you were. You immediately took me to your drawing station and told me to sit as you started sketching, looking out to see what details to capture. For the first time he had no issue looking in my direction and it was for the sake of making a rubber duckie to my liking.

Nobody ever could say that my king wasn't full of surprises.

Do you do that for everyone, I asked.

Do what.

What you are you doing right now.

Only for friends.

Are we friends, Majesty? I asked before I realize what a stupid mistake was that. I blamed the whole being outside of my element to me not realizing that if that is what Lucifer already thought of our relationship, then that was all the more convenient for me.

You stopped sketching. I was already thinking some way to salvage the situation, insist that I was hoping in fact we could be more than that, when I noticed how smaller than usual you were as you moved on your own chair.

That bothered me more than I was willing to let on. You are a king. You are the sin of pride on solid form. You can't lose on a fight. You are the strongest being I have ever met. You could kill me. Why do you ever let yourself become like this?

I mean, kinda?, you said, fidgeting with the pencil. You don't think so?

I thought we were married, I said showing my hand with a bit of a playful teasing.

You blushed a soft gold. It was the first time I saw it and I was suddenly struck with the idea that your blood probably looked like apple juice. Fiting for the one who used an apple to condemn all of humanity. It would taste like it?

Right. Sure. But you know… it has been nice having you around. I am sorry if I am not around much, but still. It was nice. That is why I thought…

I didn't say I didn't want it still. As I said that, I stand out to look at what you have done. First there was a general sketch of me. I was honestly impressed with how quickly you had captures my features so, even though it wasn't too polished, there was no way to miss that was my face. Even my smile was on brand, my eyes giving nothing away. Then there was the drawing of a couple of possible duckies that I had interrupted.

You forgot my monocle, I said.

Oh, right. Sorry.

You should have my staff too. It could come out from the wing.

You smiled and added it in with a quick motion of the pencil, a confident one from a veteran artist as you looked over at my staff and it's design. You don't doubt when you create, you just do. I thought that was a much better look for you.

When the sketching process was done, with a duckie that we were both satisfied with, my husband closed the sketchbook and declared we should be going to get dinner. It just occurred to me that he had been the one cooking in all my time there. So I offered up to make dinner for tomorrow. When you started saying I didn't have to, you didn't mind, as I was expecting already, I insisted that it was a date and took off before you could argue any longer.

I wasn't about to present to you the wonder of cannibal meat just yet on our very first date. I knew enough about social etiquette to know that had to be a gradual entrance. That was a surprise for the third date at least. Just because our marriage was unexpected and quick, didn't mean that everything else had to be too. Veal it was then. I thought there was something especial about offering something that never reached full maturity in a plate, where all of it's infinite possibilities were finalized bite by bite. As if by eating something that had been cut far too quickly, we could regain the time it was stolen from it. But I kept my poetic explanation for myself. As long the flavor was appreciated that would be enough.

From that one interaction, something was already different between us. Lucifer was clearly more comfortable and engaged in conversation with a more light disposition. That is how I started getting an inkling that the job of a king was truly so much more boring than I ever expected. When Lucifer wasn't dedicating time to his hobby, eating with me or existing on my vecinity, he was drowning in paperwork or going to meetings with the royal member of hellish society with the hope of keep some semblance of order in hell. None of which I had seen because my husband had correctly assumed that I wouldn't be too interested on that side of his life. But I could still ask him about it and let him vent about it when he felt like it. That is what marriage is, isn't it?

During the dessert of our first date, my king gave me the duckie finalized. That could also do a little dance when you pressed its head, because Lucifer thought that would be fun. The tiny version of my staff made a full spin on the wing as the duckie turned around. It was no doubt the most unpractical and weird present I have been ever gifted to. When the dance stopped, I took it on my hand to see the detail. The markings of my shoes were under the flippers too, for my surprise. When did Lucifer ever noticed that? Something about that just struck me in a way I did not expect.

I knew that you were waiting for my response, but I frankly didn't know what to say. Instead of saying anything, I kissed the top of the head of duckie and saved it on my front pocket where it would poke out, little staff and all. Even my monocle was a perfect shade of glass red. I asked how do I look now with my new accesory, realizing you were blushing again. I didn't intend that to happen. Was that the start of you falling in love with me?”

“You looked so cute though, I couldn't help it” commented Lucifer, smiling. “Hey, now that I think about it, I haven't seen that duckie in a while. What happened to it?”

“Oh, I have it on my safe box. Charlie found it when she was little and played with it until the staff bended, so I thought I would keep it on a place where it would be fine.”

“I can just repair it if you want. Good as new.”

“Don't you dare” Alastor ruffled the blonde hair a bit to emphazise the warning. “I like it old. You of all people should know that already.”

“Is that supposed to poke at my age now?”

“Maybe” Alastor chuckled when Lucifer pouted. He also looked cute like that and he too couldn't help it. “May I continue?”

“Before I die of old age you mean? You may.”

“Thank you.

Lucifer being more comfortable to talk to me was undoubtly a good thing. It also meant that he was more comfortable arguing with me. If needed to I could be a very agreeable person…”

“Ha! Good one.”

“Shush. It turned out that living with another person who actually spend time with you brought it's own set of struggles. Little things that are just part of how you do things that they are annoying for them. Little say that they do that are just the wrong way that makes you want to tear your own hair out. We were very different people on so many different ways, and yet, we both could be just as stubborn.

One day, I was on my last strand of patience. A young overlord that was making their name known in the streets had managed to get under my skin by bragging about how nobody even had a radio now, so I was clearly an obsolete demon that soon was going to be out of commission. Movies, they insisted, movies were the real future of hell. It shouldn't have bothered me at all that the people were congregating outside of his new cinema with color and audio. And yet it did.

I don't remember what was the argument about, something trivial and stupid that it wasn't worth it. Did I mix my clothing with his on the laundry? Did I left the chimney turn on when it should be off? Did I forgot to clean my shoes before walking over the carpet? Who knows. It doesn't matter. You said something along the line "you are impossible to live with" and something in me exploded.

Oh? And you think you are a joy to live with? Stuck everyday in the same place, obssessing over the same useless stupid things? Who would want to spend their days around a king that can't get outside his own palace or walk through his own kingdom without losing his marbles like a pathetic weak little imp? I might be impossible, but by the god you betrayed, at least I am not an embarassment for both heaven and hell.

I should haven't said that. For more reasons than one. But above all else, for the way you looked at me. All the anger that took for me to spit those words out were erased in the air the moment you said I should go.

Just that. Not anger of your own, not even sadness. Just this vast empty dissapointment that stung so much worse than any insult ever could. That only made me angry again. How dare you to be dissapointed in me? Honestly, how stupid were you in the first place to ever believe in me? How is my fault that you missed the memo of what kind of man you married to? Who are you to judge me in the first place?

I left the palace grabbing whatever I could quickly. I don't know where Lucifer had dissapeared to, I assumed his study with his duckies, but I was out of the door. It didn't sink in just how much I had messed up until I reach my old apartment and it felt small and cramped compared with the palace.

A week passed in which I kept waiting to see the ring on my hand dissapear, but it didn't. It became a habit to look down and check. While I was walking, my finger would keep brushing against it over my glove and pressed it as if to test if it wasn't going to dissolve. It never did. Two weeks. Three. Rosie asked me how things had turned out with the big powerful demon and I had to shrugg, saying it didn't work out. It wasn't meant to be. She was so sorry for me, sincerely so. I tried to tell her that she didn't had to, that I didn't really care anyway.

She turned her head to the side and said, as gently as a cannibal overlord is capable of, that she didn't believe a word of that. Something was off about me, according to her. Last night, when we raided that meeting of a overlord that had pissed her off, apparently I had killed people way too quickly. I didn't enjoy any of their screams or chase them down when they started running. I just got done with devouring them like it was a job rather than the joy ride it was meant to be. She had only ever brought me along because she thought it could distract me from whatever I had in mind on the last few days. She was saying all of that while looking at the glove on my hand and for some reason, no matter how impossible it was, somehow I thought she could see through the fabric and the ring. I almost wanted her to. Someone else to really confirm that it was there still and it wasn't just my own delusion.

She was right, of course. She knew me far too well. What actually happened, she asked and I just spilled all over the tea overflowing my cup, as youngsters definitely do not say. As much as I could without actually saying too much, at least. When I was done, she looked at me like the answer had been obvious all along. And maybe it was, but I still didn't like it when she said that I owe you an apology, even if you still want me out. Closure was the word she used. I don't know about that.

I just wanted to see and ask why I still had the ring.

When I came home… the palace, I did not find Lucifer anywhere. Not on the livingroom, the kitchen, the garden or even his study, where his door was open. The piles of duckies have been turned into mountains. You couldn't enter without stomping into one of them. But no Lucifer anywhere. I was passing through the entry when I saw you at the door, holding a bunch of groceries in a bag. Seeing the king casually coming from outside stopped me in my tracks. I wanted to ask how was that possible. The last time I saw you trying to walk to the next block you teleported back, saying that was a bad idea and to never try it again.

You seemed… a lot less shocked to see me there though."

"You had forgotten your bowtie" said Lucifer, shrugging, as it should have been obvious. "I figured you would come back for it sooner or later. And if you did, maybe we could talk. It also didn't help that you didn't had a phone and you never told me where you used to live before, so I couldn't send it to you. I was… waiting for you to come pick it up."

"You told me you went to the store alone" Alastor waited for Lucifer to elaborate further or comment, but the fallen angel just remained silent, squeezing his hand. "You said you had been practicing for a while now to come out. You did teleported a big portion of the way and had to come back home three times, but you made it through the whole task completely on your own.

I should have tell you that was amazing for you, because it was. Instead I was just so confused as to why you weren't angry at me. I was prepared for you to shout at me or throw stuff at my head, not for you to keep walking to the kitchen without turning back. Somehow it reminded me to my first day there, when I thought you had to be a nutcase to give me your back so easily after I threatened you.

The bowtie thing was a lie, wasn't it? I did left it, but I could replace it easily. It wasn't that precious."

Lucifer didn't respond, but he didn't have to with the way his hand squeezed his. Alastor returned the gesture and sighed, coming down to kiss his temple.

"When I followed you behind, you were accomodating the groceries. I stood there, not understanding at all why you weren't more angry, why you weren't telling me to get out of the palace now. But instead of asking, because that wasn't what I came for, I struggled to get out the words out of my mouth."

"You looked in actual pain. It was a little bit funny in retrospective."

"I was. I never had to offer a sincere… apology to anyone for any reason. I was usually smarter than to need to do it. To admit I was wrong was to admit I had commited a easily avoidable mistake.

But it was a mistake all the same. I had no right to say any of that. I only remember those words at all even now because I so wish I could erase them entirely and smack my past self for even uttering them in the first place.

You asked if I still thought the same, so I said no. I thought you could be sometimes pathetic, annoying, clumsy, very frustrating and maybe a bit too obsessed with ducks, but it wasn't hell to live with you by any means. You sometimes could also make it so much easier than you had to for a complete stranger that literally just appeared on your living room. And maybe you were a dissapointment for heaven, but honestly that was only a plus on my own book so what did I care? Hell is a dissapointment already for anyone who know their action wouldn't catch up for them, so it was only fitting that it's king was just as unconventional. I only said that because you cared, because I wanted to poke where it hurt, not because I cared. That wasn't right of me.

You turned around and blinked with those big eyes of yours that told me nothing, but it wasn't out of indifference, but out of you don't wanting to let me see nothing yet. That was only fair, but it bother me all the same. You asked if I wanted to stay for dinner and I said yes.

You told me that you had gotten the papers ready for the nullification, but never got around to sign them. They laid on your desk all of those weeks while you kept making more and more duckies. They were comforting, while the papers were not, so you naturally avoided them. Haven't even realized the amount of days that have passed, concentrated instead on the amount of distance that you could put between yourself and the entrance, the amount of time you could tolerate outside before you had to come back.

You were proud of telling me it had been a full hour and a half, as you should. I much prefered the look on your face when I told you that it was amazing. I thought about taking your hand that night so much, but I wasn't sure how that was going to be taken. Instead kept watching your own ring. Something was different in the air that I couldn't quite place.

You told a stupid joke about gooses and laughed so hard you wheezed, like it was the funniest thing that anyone ever said. I think I started falling for you that night.

A week after I moved in, I asked if we could share the same bedroom."

"Oh boy."

Alastor arched an eyebrow at the blushing face of Lucifer.

"Oh? What is that, your Majesty? You don't want to hear too about the first time that you ravished me? Jumped on my bones? Fulfill your husbandly duties? Consumate our marriage? Attempted to create an heir with me by the traditional means? Multiples times, might I add?"

"Oh for me, can you shut up?" Lucifer laughed, straightened up to kiss his lips, wrapping his arms around his neck. Alastor's hand instinctively went to his waist as the king made a new throne out of his lap. "I was there for that one, I remember."

"You were there for everything and still asked me to tell you how it happened" Alastor grinned wider. "Which is the verdict by the way? Did it sound any better than our usual story?"

He had to know, of course. His pride as a locutor that relied on his eloquence was on the line. Lucifer's finger started twirling around the hair on his nape.

"You did make it sound more funny than awful, I will give you that."

"Thank you."

"Even so, I don't want Charlie to hear it" declared Lucifer, pulling a side of his mouth downward. Alastor kissed the gesture, turning it into a smile instantly. "She can keep the guard story. That one is nice enough."

"As you wish" Alastor kept kissing his cheek and down his neck. He lapped at the skin over pulsating vein with his tongue and pressed his mouth there just as Lucifer was pulling his head back, giving him more space to nibble. The lie of vulnerability was almost as enticing as the truth of danger. Knowing that he was the only being on all of hell that his king would show himself like this was no small part of his charm.

"The first days you did nothing" commented Lucifer suddenly and Alastor looked up, momentarily confused until his husband continued. "When we shared a bedroom for the first time. Did you thought I would smite you for trying to touch me or you just didn't know how to breach the gap?"

"Both" admitted Alastor, accommodating Lucifer on his arms as he pulled himself up with his tentacles. He started walking through the hallway to their room. "You seemed content enough with having me there and I was only more confused by that. You weren't like me, you liked that kind of stuff by themselves. One time you even asked me to return to my old room for the night so you could pleasure yourself. I would have helped you if you had asked, but I figured you would have offered if you wanted that. I don't know how useful my input would have been, though."

"We didn't kiss once at that time" Lucifer gave a short, throaty laugh as if he couldn't believe how stupid they were. "What kind of a mess is that? We both were agreeing to stay married, but couldn't decide to touch. For all I knew, you still had your own evil agenda and were biding your time."

"It could have been both." Alastor nuzzled his forehead. "My evil agenda on one side and take you to bed on the other."

"But more than anything else" said Lucifer, lifting a finger up to boop the nose of Alastor, "I didn't want you to do anything that you didn't want to do. If you never wanted to go further than sharing space, I was prepared to accept that. Being married to my friend is not the worst kind of fate I could have ended with."

"Agreed" He reached the door to their bedroom and opened up, laying Lucifer down on the bed to hold his chin up and trace the contorn of his lip with a red thumb. "But I didn't want to be friends either. It was driving me insane because I didn't know what you wanted or I wanted out of this. Did I want to reach because that is what people do and you would expect that or because I wanted to? You weren't giving me anything to work with."

"If only you simply had asked” The tone of Lucifer was slightly mocking as he bit softly on the thumb of Alastor. “I would have told you I was open for that as well.”

Alastor groaned. And risk coming off as insecure, as if he didn't have the most clear idea of everything that was happening at all times? Never.

Lucifer giggled, bringing him down to the bed by the front of his vest. The radio demon followed through the lead of his king.

In another place, Charlie was staring up to the ceiling of her room. After who knew les of how long trying to let the sleep come to her, without success, she slipped under a sleeping Vaggie to stand up. She made sure that her girlfriend still had a pillow as replacement before going to get dressed. If she wasn't going to get any sleep done, then all the more reason for her to start working on their current issue.

They were merely one month away from another extermination.

#radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #alastor x lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #arranged marriage au #hazbin hotel au

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onesidedradiostatic · 7 months

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Seeing Alastors and Vox beef feels like im the child of their divorce, only difference to a real divorce is that they were never romantically involved with eachother and they just have unhealthy obsessions with each other.

Which brings me to my little theory, that Alastor might also have an obsession with Vox or at least gives some kind of shit about him and doesn’t show it so openly like Vox does.

Obviously not in a romantic/sexual way just if like Al hyperfixated on his littel guy too unhealthily. And that would make everything WAY messier because their obsessions have different meanings:

Vox has his little hate-crush

and

Alastor who just wants him for entertainment, maybe Al wants him back as a friend even(that ripped foto haunts me) and doesn’t want Vox advances.

And ig my bit of proof? Is that Al only had duets with two people: Lucifer(who we know he doesn’t like) and Vox

At the end of Stayed Gone Al hints he wants to continue beefing with Vox too

(This theory isn’t og mine its from an irl friend and we expanded on it and i just wanted to share)

I don't think alastor is obsessed with vox but I think he does enjoy his rivalry with him because vox gives him the attention he seeks (as we've seen from his reactions to carmilla and lucifer not giving a fuck about him, he is very bothered when people don't care, meanwhile vox literally broadcasted his return on live tv), and bullying him is probably very entertaining to him LMAOOO. I do think alastor enjoys keeping up his rivalry with vox because of this. and I do think their falling out also impacted his current attitude towards modern tech. I don't think alastor wants vox back as a friend? I mean he's the one that turned down being on a team with him LMAO. maybe he could in a "I wish you didn't end up like this" way!?!???! but at this current point in time, I'm pretty sure alastor was the one who stepped away because he disagreed with vox's worsening attitude or practices

either way I do think vox's obsession with alastor is still imbalanced because of like multiple factors:

their respective reactions to the other first being mentioned after alastor's 7 year absence. kinda talked about it here. but basically when the vees are brought up in front of alastor, he just casually says "oh nobody important". alastor being brought up in front vox causes a very big reaction, and IMMEDIATELY gets him to completely drop the calm and cunning demeanor he had the ENTIRE time before that that he kept up with both his coworkers, employee and civilians. he was calmly able to manipulate val to stop him from going after the hotel. but one mention of alastor made him completely lose his cool. meanwhile for alastor to have a reaction that's similar to that, he had to have his deal that constrained his freedom brought up which is a BIG deal to him, nothing about vox made him react that same way.

most of vox's screentime has alastor occupying his head rent-free, let's not forget the whole of episode 8. alastor stares into vox's cameras to mess with him but like naturally, a large portion of the time alastor is noticeably not thinking of vox. vox meanwhile was already spying specifically on the hotel start of episode 8, literally keeping focus on alastor during the extermination. the only hint of anything in return from this would be like I said, alastor staring into the camera to mess with vox, otherwise vox is not on his mind

not to word of god this but also: Faustisse described Vox as having something of a fixation on Alastor and that he is interested in having Alastor notice him. Alastor does not have the same interest in return. although stated by ex-staff, I do think this made into canon proper LMAO

it's not like I think their rivalry is completely one-sided because alastor will still fight back with petty insults and all that when provoked (he did like immediately return to his radio tower to bash vox when he saw vox trying to diss him in stayed gone), but it's very clear to me only one of them is completely and utterly obsessed with the other

#ask #osrs.txt #radiostatic #staticradio #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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solluve · 2 years

Text

luxiem school drabbles!!

I was vv busy due to exams and test huhuu, I still have a upcoming final exam

noctyx ver coming out soon !!!

modern school au but you lowkey have a rivalry in most of them!!!I HATE SCHOOL

warning; kissing/ mentions (belehg) long passage be warned, lowkey bad ass writing lmfao IM EMBARSSED

not proofread (yet) ────────────────────────

vox

You were terribly annoyed, you had every right to be! Once again, the embodiment of the devil had beaten you again for test scores, and he was shoving it right in your face.

"Really? A 85% y/n? Cmon, I seriously thought you could do better." His voice boomed in the hallways, you didn't even know why he had decided to follow you outside the classroom. Whatever goes on in the classroom, is suppose to stay. You had just hoped that the sea of people who block his view of you.

How did he even manage to get a higher grade than you? From what you knew, he'd simply just lean on his chair during class and break the dress code with those hideous flip flops. He wasn't even a teachers favorite! In fact, all teachers hated him, but all students had loved him. He wasn't super athletic, but he was decent at almost any sport the school threw at him. He just probably did it all for the girls and boys to fawn over. Who knows, maybe even a student had given him am extra study lesson in exhange for quality time or sports advice.

His tall stature gave him the advantage in the hallways however, despite your constant twist and turns around students and diffrent hallways, his pursuit continued until you reached your locker.

A loud slam erupted from the impact of hand to metal, and your head had shot to your side. One hand on the locker supported his figure, and he stared at you menacingly with a smirk ingraved into his features. Oh how you'd pay to rip it right off.

"Are you done following me, stalker? You won, whatever." You sighed and started to fumble with the combination code to your locker. You didn't understand why you were even nervous, you had no fear for this man at all, you just wanted him gone.

"Stalker? how hurtful y/n! But Besides, I'm not done celebrating. Don't you think I deserve something for my first ever win?" He boasted, you could still see the crumbled up paper that represented his test score smashed agasint the locker.

"I have nothing to give besides my congratulations. Now shoo." You peered stadight into his crimson hues, he was clearly amused by your defensive behavior.

"Well, I guess I should just claim my victory reward then. Every treasure needs hard work anyways" he sighed, and quickly cupped your face with his hands, smashing his lips onto yours.

Your eyes had sprawled in shock, not once during it did your body relax, but you didn't complain either.

He pulled away playfully, a crescent smile was painted onto him, it looked so much better than that menacing smirk.

"I dont remember that being a part of the war?!"

"You don't even remeber the test answers. 85%."

like he smashed ur lips onto yours, you smashed your leg up his

okok I'll stfu

______

shu (love this mf too)

How could you even compete with this man?! If vox was the devil, he was the angel. He was top of your computer science class, and it didn't even look like he paid attention either. Did he join this class just to show off? Or is this some type of help-failing-students-in-computer-sceince program he was in. Your dear freind had failed that class until they got tutor by the magical man, and all of a sudden they improved gradually! We're all your lectures never enough for them?! You were already a decent student in the class, you turned about an assignment or two late every month, but that was just it! So why did he have to show up and "out do" you in anything with such a nice persona?! There was something up, you just knew it. There had to be something sinister and evil about this oh so perfect shu yamino. And it was your death wish to find out!

And the only way somebody would start such a difficult mission is to be with the man himself.

"Aha, Shu Yamino, may I please discuss something with you?" You had asked right when the bell had rung, Computer science was your last peroid, so you didn't think you'd be bothering him as much. He had given you a nod to continue as he began to shut off his computer and collect his stuff, you had gone completely silent until he fully turned towards you with a questioning look.

Honeslty up front he was better looking than you had thought. You never came to realize his highlights in his hair, or the way his middle part resembled a banana more than you had made it seem to be in your head, longer yet slightly thinning hair as it went down adorned his neck and landed at around his collarbone. A v shaped smile and bright purple orbs had just combined everything together. You need to get YOUR act together too.

With a quick throat clearing and straighting of posture, you had finally spoke to your secretly worse enemy;

"I'm. Having...Trouble..?" Was all you can manage to put out. You could've slapped yourself in that moment, now he probably thinks your having trouble trying to form a simple sentence as well. But in response, a breathy chuckle emitted out of his vocal chords

"Trouble? Sure, on what specific topic?" Aha! He bought it so easily! You didn't ever think the nerd would be so easy to manipulate— no like seriously. It's concerning how easy that was.

"I'm having trouble on Algorithm." You blurted, honestly that was one of the most simplest stuff ever, it was honestly a requirement to know that before you took the class. You just sorta blurted it out. He had bought everything you had said so far, but he'd probably now doubt you. He knew you were smart, and knew that you avoided him like the plague. This was too obvious, it's better to abort the mission by no—

"Sure, when are you free? I can do today if that's sounds well."

oh.

"Aha! Great, I can do it.. at the Cafe nearby Lake ave..does that sound well?" Shit. It took all of your willpower to compose yourself. That was terribly unexpected, so much so that you honestly regretted everything. All you had to do now was wait until your doom.

You even forgot what this was all for.

You waited at the exact spot your proposed the idea too. A nervous wreck. You had to remind yourself half way what you were here for.

'Find the bad side of shu yamino'. All you had to do was act terribly stupid! Surely he would snap at you, and you'd finally find out the truth.

But here you were, shu yamino ever so patient. You had done everything! You asked stupid questions, you have fumbled with your paper. You even had thought about going to far lengths like spilling the mysterious drink he bought. You wonder what it even was, it smelled awful. For some reason however, the man never stopped smiling and holding his calm persona. It was a facade, you knew it! All it would take it a final push to break it down, despite everything you knew your were close.

With one more stupid question of repetition, he sighed and put down his pencil. Fianlly, you had succeed—

"Give it up. I know you."

huh? "Did you really think I'd fall for this? I know that your a good student, I just played along with everything. Right when you came up to me I automatically knee what you were up to! But, I enjoyed this date of ours very much."

Wait, date?

You were bummed and embarssed he had caught you, but maybe it was for good. Maybe your mission was just to get closer to shu.

and maybe you could mark it as successful.

________

mysta

How annyoing,, it was terribly difficult to work with that man! You prided yourself in making sure nobody had broken hallway rules, you were never annyoing when correcting and reminding people, but you were when it came to him.

Mysta Rias was not only one the schools pranksters, but the "make-yn-have-the-worst-day-everinator!" He'd constantly run in the hallways, sometimes even using school property to swing himself around like a parkour course! Like your math teacher isn't going to give you extra points becuase you jumped off the water fountain at a 90° angle. Maybe you can use your poor math skills to find out the damage cost of that same fountain.

And there he went again in the middle of transition blocks, shouts of students in discomfort as he pushed past them in a mocking manner. This time for sure you would catch him, you just...also need to push past the sea of people. In a action of haste you also discarded the murmurs and other children's grunts as you rushed past everyone, and you held a firm grip upon the brunette.

Finally, You had caught the mf! Now at it was left was to drag him to the principles office and stop his stupid antics. However, a kid with green eyes stared back at you with fear.

Wrong fucking kid.

The sea of people had cast out into there classes, you held onto the kid in total shock. This was so embarrassing!! YOU GRABBED THE WRONG KID. YOU HAD ONE JOB OML

You heard a menacing irrating laughter behind you, and you new who it fucking belonged to.

"LMFAOO, you deadass thought I was that mf?! Who do you think I am?!" A fucking idiot tbh..

In a mfing FLASH you had grabbed mysta instead, dragging his ass into the direction of the princapls office. He had chuckled on the way there..until he had relized where your actually taking him.

The cocky,, arrogant persona quickly changed into one of desperation.

"Wait, you can't take me there! That will be like my what, 15th visit?! Hey cmon, I thought we were freinds, in fact, more than that!! You can't just betray me like this!!" He had scrambled out of your grip and stood right back up, quickly grabbing your shoulders and putting you in place.

"How 'bout this, if you don't take me there, I'll reward you with..a kiss!"

you gon be a enemy of the state if he keeps this up

_______

luca

Where do I start with the Jock of the school. Definition of, "Bronze but no Brains." Infact, you were probably his brains. You tutored him a lot, much to the jealousy of practically everyone in the school. It was a pain to tutor him, it was like training a dog on how to play card games. He constantly tried to change the subject, and he constantly had tried to get YOU to work out with him. You were never interested in physical activity, you much had rather secured your diploma using academic skills. You honestly thought it was all pointless, you had to be terribly good at the sport to get a diploma, it was honestly heart wrenching to see kids go through it.

But not Luca, Luca had such a postive attuide, it was like he wasn't educated on how the world and school had worked. He believe everyone could get anything. Which is a good way to think about stuff, but it's not good to apply it to everything you do.

Luca had always told you the same exact thing however. "Try the sport! I'm sure you'll be amazing at it!" And you had always told him the exact thing, "No thank you."

You had repeated the same thing every time until it was his Birthday. The 10 of April, right when the temp began to rise into spring bliss.

"Its fmy birthday wish! That's all I want from you. No presents, gift, cake, nothing!" He shouted from across the study room, in which you angrily placed your finger to your lip in a an act to shut him up, but he still persisted.

You need to also teach him that presents and gift are basically the same thing.

"Just try one sport, I'll be your coach! We can do it after school when nobody else is here so you won't feel embarrassed to fianlly move your noodle arms around!"

What a backhanded mf.

You had a headache from his nonsense, to the point you mindlessly told him 'fine' just so you could have a moment to yourself to recover. You had completely forgotten about it, until he dragged you onto the field.

You were already out of breath from running there, now you had to actually play the sport?! You didn't even get a pick! He immediately chose football. He chucked a football towards you, in which you immediately ducked for cover.

You both knew this was going to be a terribly long day.

Minutes turned into minutes, hours into hours, you had completely lost track of everything. You laid on the field in exhaustion, as he joined you a couple minutes later— for some reason. You don't remeber inviting him.

"So! That was fun, yeah?" You had groaned in response, but you wouldn't lie to him, it was terribly fun for once.

"Whatever, my body is going to feel terribly sore tomorrow."

"I could kiss it to make it feel better!"

punch him he has cooties

_________

Ike

He was honestly perfect, and honestly the most sane out of everyone. He was at the top of his class, and had his fair share of sports and extra circular activities. He put teachers to shame with his own knowledge. And that'd exactly where it had lead you to.

Somehow you had managed to get into a AP English class. You never knew why, maybe it was becuase they ran out of people and decided to throw in students who they thought they could do well, or maybe they actually thought you were smart! Option 1 sounds more realistic though.

Your class was assigned another essay to write, and honestly you were ar the verge of a breaking point. ANOTHER essay? You could've sworn you just finished one about an historical white man. But hey, who's keeping track? Your not even keeping track of the your cup of coffee that tipped off your desk.

A huge splash echoed through the class, and a damped feeling sunk into your uniform. Shit, did that really just happen? Your gaze turned to the cup of coffee that was fully ruined, and wasted among the floor. That was going to a pain to clean up.

But wait—that's not even the point! You don't care about how tedious it will be the clean up, you care about all the eyes on you and your uniform! This was terribly embarrassing, you didn't even know what to think, your mind simply went blank. The bi haired male started back at your from the other side of the classroom, and the teacher muttered something before going to grab the janitor. Your mind was completely blank, you could hear kids snickering amongst themselves. You didn't even feel like crying, you just prayed you were dreaming.

Amongst your frantic thoughts, a hand decorated in diffrent rings reached out to you. You had peered up to see the same Bi- color haired male, the same bi colored orbs gazing right back. He had a concerned smile, and he urged his hand closer, signaling you to take it. It was almost like he teleported from his seat to you.

"Your clothes, let's stop by the office to get another uniform." He muttered, and you gladly took it. You rather had been anywhere besides that classroom.

It was silent on the walk there, you were questioning a lot of things, but especially him. You could've sworn he didn't talk to anyone else, you saw him with a freind group once, but that was it. None of his freinds were in the same AP English class either, so it was werid why he was the one to offer to take you.

Maybe he pitied you that badly.

If only you recognized how he always stared at you in class, and it wasn't just becuase you spilled coffee everywhere that one day.

You were a nervous wreck, and he was for a completely diffrent reason.

──────────────────────── it's 1am I'm so tired I'll correct grammer in the morning 🫂🫂

#shu yamino #shu yamino x reader #shu x reader #nijisanji x reader #luxiem x reader #vox akuma #vox akuma x reader #ike eveland #ike eveland x reader #luca kaneshiro #luca kaneshiro x reader #mysta rias #mysta rias x reader #mysta x reader #luca x reader #vox x reader #ike x reader #kms

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