#vorniclex

[adventuresofanawesomeguy]

I see you’re trapped in my gay and stupid maze again

[balis77]

Gonna hit that “Genuine Character Analysis” blunt and talk about Atraxa and Art for a minute

Ok so in Chapter 4 of the MOM story, we see Atraxa see a museum for the first time and discover art, and also discover that she absolutely fucking hates it. Now, I noticed this was actually pretty similar to her seeing that Ixhel made Vishgraz and getting absolutely pissed at her for it, and I was gonna make a joke about “Atraxa hates arts and crafts lol”, but then I noticed that there is a genuine theming to it that’s pretty interesting.

Atraxa doesn’t seem to hate art or creating specifically, she seems to hate the concept of creating something without an direct purpose for it. She was fine making Ixhel because Ixhel is her tool. She’s supposed to be the extension of herself that can do tasks for her while she’s preoccupied. She doesn’t mind compleation because it’s not creating something, its converting something. But then she sees the art museum, and Vishgraz, and how they were created more or less for the purpose of creating, and she can’t understand it. It makes her angry because it genuinely goes against her entire philosophy. It has no direct reason to exist, so why should it exist? And her answer is that it shouldn’t.

The reason she has this mindset is actually pretty simple and actually a genius way to implement the few bits of lore she got before All Will Be One; she was compleated and effectively reborn by the combined efforts of four Praetors. Elesh Norn, Jin-Gitaxias, Vorniclex, and Sheoldred. The one that didn’t participate? Urabrask, the red Praetor. Red, the color of creativity and self expression. The color of Phyrexians that canonically spend all day making new stuff out of spare junk they find in the Furnace Layer. The faction of Phyrexians that literally encourage making whatever your creativity demands. The reason for her mindset is that she’s literally missing her creativity on account of Urabrask refusing to participate like the others. She was created to be the embodiment of the four other Praetors, so of course anything relating to the one who didn’t show up was completely left out. By design she has no self expression, and she sees that as perfection, so anything that goes against that concept makes her angry. Hell, you can even make the argument that she gets so mad because it reminds her that there is something that she’s missing. That she isn’t perfect.

Just a neat detail I noticed.

[sanitree]

Vorniclex showcase praetor alter!

[firosart]

The Compleation of Atraxa

[altruisticandsadistic]

[markrosewater]

Was keeping Vorniclex a secret harder than keeping other secrets?

No.

[theworldgate]

ONE speculation/discussion from leaks

Warning for leaks [AGAIN], which come from legitimately released boxes of DMR in probably the biggest collation screw-up since Legends, leading to the biggest rare leak since Ixalan.

Okay, so. We now know who all the compleated planeswalkers are. Which is annoying because I was hoping to get my “Vraska and Tyvar form a production pipeline” joke theory in before that [So Vraska petrifies other planeswalkers, carries them to New Phyrexia/Tyvar, pops the statue on a surgical table, and lets Tyvar to unpetrify them]. I guess I will have to settle for “Tyvar will just constantly get infected with the oil, because he does not take any precautions. But he can also just instantly transmute it away so. Like. It’s mostly a running gag”. Like mood-wise Tyvar does not belong here! He’s from a completely different genre, and one that generally renders him immune to horrible fates (I’d cite him apparently being a teenager too, but, like, so was Domri, so). Also, like, I hope compleated!Nahiri can shapeshift because her Sword Arm thing is kinda goofy looking. I guess she might be a sleeper agent at some point? Vraska is pretty radically changed, I’ll grant, but Nahiri’s and Jace’s mutations are pretty easy to hide until the moment comes (like Ajani’s were as of DMU). Also like Jace’s ‘What if’ art has him stabbed with Luxor, which would be weird if he wasn’t compleated before the end of the story. Like it’s weird, I know that Jace’s compleation is shown but we don’t know when that story spotlight was from chronologically (it could be a flashback!). They can’t do the “just make sure he has a nice big fake heart for someone to stab” stuff that quickly, so I’d say him being compleated in advance of forming the strike team makes sense. (also because of the composition of it)

But yes Nahiri being compleated... I’m kind of surprised that no one brought up the hedrons in MOM’s key art when it came to speculation. Even post leaks [sets 1-uh, christ there’s been a lot but I guess most recent-1?]. Admittedly likely because they could either be put against New Phyrexia or in favour of it. Presumably it’s some combo of Nissa to pilot Realmbreaker (once she’s compleated, the corrupted worldsoul of New Phyrexia will likely prove very affable to her), and the hedrons to mess with interplanar barriers? (we actually do know that Nahiri’s lithomancy can interact with the blind eternities so... honestly, New Phyrexia’s suite of Planeswalkers make sense for Planeswalkers they’d want). Lukka, I’ll say, probably not a sleeper. Ditto Nissa but that’s because, like, the BRO story wouldn’t have happened like that if she was, because New Phyrexia would win by her doing nothing. Also because she’s, y’know, merged with her own staff-sword. And has extra arms. Also, on Lukka: I’ll say he’s going to be Gruul (or a superset thereof), given how Vorniclex-y he looks. More so than the Mono-Green Compleated ‘walker. Anyway the thing is even though we know ‘what happens’... we still don’t know how it happens, and that’s the key. Current chain prediction? Vraska gets Jace Jace persuades Nahiri (the Nornian vision of New Phyrexia isn’t that different to Kor Empire Zendikar). Or possibly Urabrask persuades Nahiri? I might be picking up the reddit bug of “someone surely will choose compleation”. Lukka just gets pwned at some point, honestly The other compleated ‘walkers (possibly minus Nahiri) team up to take down Nissa. Presumably after Jace gets stabbed with Luxor by either Elspeth or Nissa (the BRO story ended with her resolved to potentially killing a compleated friend, so her seizing Luxor when Elspeth hesitates, stabbing Jace, and this only not being her worst decision ever because of the sheer scale of Nissa’s previous Terrible Decisions feels fitting: mood-wise I think WotC are against ruthlessness on the whole. Though it might also be “Nissa murders Tamiyo” that’s the tragic mistake created by this resolve: unlike Ajani, Tamiyo’s Visual Guide pages are mostly written in past tense and do not include “but the Gatewatch are hoping for a cure!” in a paragraph. So. Uh. That bodes well[/s]), and revealed as a Phyrexian. Also the strike team will fail but we all knew that because the next set is called “March of the Machine”. But I still see people who have seen the leaks going “oh wait does the strike team not succeed” and... no? Of course it doesn’t? The next set has key art with Elesh Norn looming over multiple planes! Also god Zendikar (and Nissa) caught 1 (one) break and the multiverse did not like that at all, did it?

[whynotsableye]

Vorniclex shouldn’t work on loyalty counters it’s fucking dumb to be able to dump out and instantly Ult planes walkers that typically take 3 or more turns to build up the ult to without set up.

At least you would have to prolif multiple times to get the same effect. This is literally one card that already is amazing without letting you ult your Nissa on play

[allhailklisz]

vorinclex has "vore" right there in his name, he's going to eat you AND fuck you(also people often misspell his name as "vorniclex" which makes him sound even vornier)

also also: how is urabrask “kinda thicc”? below his shoulders he's all snakey. he’s not as thin as jin-gitaxias but that’s a really, really low bar

PHYREXIAN PRÆTORS RANKED BY FUCKABILITY

The five compleat rulers of New Phyrexia each represent a color of Mana, and their machinations and turf wars are legendary. But which would be the best in bed? As far as I know, I am the first to undertake such a daring assessment. Below, I rank them from least to most fuckable.

5. Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur

I know twinks are all the rage recently but frankly this guy is just too sharp. There's no part of him that I would like to touch. As the head Phyrexian scientist I think he'd rather rearrange my guts surgically than seductively.

4. Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger

Points for being the most fleshy of all the prætors, but Vorinclex is obsessed with domination which is not my vibe. He definitely fucks (evolution is his whole deal) but I imagine you're equally likely to get eaten. Not to mention the size difference.

3. Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite

This ranking may confuse some because Elesh Norn is widely considered the sexiest praetor and has lots of fanart. No matter how snatched her waist is though, she has porcelain skin. I imagine it would feel a bit like trying to bone down with a bathroom sink. Also, she's an extremely power-hungry religious fanatic and so loses points on personality.

2. Urabrask the Hidden

Urabrask surely has the best vibes of all the prætors since he's mostly interested in freedom. He had enough empathy to shelter Mirran survivors. He's also close to human size and kinda thicc. Finally, the risk of tetanus is kinda sexy, but the burning hot gas vents aren't.

1. Sheoldred, Whispering One

The enormous spider monster for a lower body would seem to be a turn-off, but Sheoldred can actually slither out into a more naga-like form. She speaks only in whispers which is pretty hot, and you don't even have to bring lube because her body is covered in oil. I only need to hear 11 words from her: "Our cause will ripen in the fertile flesh of the unworthy."

[altruisticandsadistic]

Did I just preorder singles of some kaldheim cards.  Yes, yes I did.  No I didn’t buy the Phyrexian print Vorniclex.  100.00 is a bit too rich for me for a high quality cardboard rectangle.  Though Esika, Maskwood Nexus, and Reflections of Littjara are going to go well in my commander deck.  Esika’s going to trick a bunch of people into thinking what kind of deck it is, muahahaha.  Also while the Showcase Esika was pretty her regular art is just fucking gorgeous.

[dumbasshivemind]

Aw gee maulsplicer, how come Vorniclex lets you have TWO himbos?

is it fucked up that mindcrank is... kinda erotic......

No

[johnjohnsonjohnson]

Thanks guys for the support, both of your ideas sound amazing, and now i justvwant to write a small story about the end of new phyrexia, like, the last day of like Elesh Nor(i'm butchering that name for sure) before she succumbs to death of the plane

Also i dont think Vorniclex escaped to spread the phyrexis, he probably just accidently fell off the plane

Ok, so i just had really weird, but equaly intresting idea

So, what if new phyrexia is dead?/and i dont mean here "it's conqoured" , i mean here lifeless, not even a single nim or anything, just... dead

I know it sounds ridicioulos, but hear me out, phyrexia's only reason to exist is to... spread the phyrexia, but what happeneds when all of mirodin becomes phyrexia? When every inch is covere in glisening oil? I thought of it, as lf it was mold that grows on food, both need to.spread, on already alive things, and when the mold is placed in hermeticly sealed place it will do it's work,but after ut ate all that it had, it will die out, ofcourse, if it will ever come in contact with food again, it will grow again,but as long as it's sealed away, it will stay dead, now, you probably see when i'm heading here. Mirodin is sealed shut as far as we know, so, when phyrexia covers everything... what would it do? I wouldnt count on any celebration, maybe they would keep searching for things to cover, but as time passes, they start to slowly die out, and without anything to feed off, amount of live phyrexians would diminish, and who knows if they would notice? They dont seem to have any tribal needs, perhaps preators would. But what can one do when they are faced with extinction? Would they realize what killed them? Would they suddenly realize pointlessness of phyrexia? Would they wonder who created them?

I'm sorry if you find it stupid, but for me it's intresting, a probability of phyrexia being defeated by themselfs, and the thougt of like, last preator or someone else just walking through a plane that became a graveyard.

Also sorry for bad english

[jurrasicoresposts]

I loved Kaldahiem, I just wish Instead of elves you let another less seen tribe like giants or demons were.

I also can’t wait to figure out how vorniclex got there, very excited as a lore nerd.

What did you like and dislike about Kaldheim?

[whynotsableye]

Like “nissa who shakes the world” should be able to be interacted with for at least 1 turn and shouldn’t effectively be “pay 5 mana to dump every forest from your deck onto the battlefield and theyre indestructible oh and since vorniclex gave me extras I also get to stick around and double the amount of mana your forests give”

Mother fucking spend 5 mana to ramp 20 forests that are all worth 2.

Yes I’m bitter.

Vorniclex shouldn’t work on loyalty counters it’s fucking dumb to be able to dump out and instantly Ult planes walkers that typically take 3 or more turns to build up the ult to without set up.

At least you would have to prolif multiple times to get the same effect. This is literally one card that already is amazing without letting you ult your Nissa on play