#voidful/context-only-question-generator

[flowering-darkness]

"I should back up that last post to my documents so I won't lose it. it turned out quite long"

that last post: is seven pages long when I paste it into a document for safekeeping

[seungminsbaldspot]

Six Years, Five months and Two days | FIVE X READER

pairing: five hargreaves x reader

Word Count: 3843

Genre: angst

General Notes: Lila x Five did happen here folks :/, sexual themes, crude language, this does not correlate with whatever happens during seasons 4 other than Lila and Five jumping into a different timeline together for seven years, Reader is referred to as female and wife

Trigger Warnings:, Infidelity: References to a character cheating and the emotional impact it causes, Emotional Betrayal: Feelings of trust being broken and the pain of betrayal, Toxic Relationship Dynamics: Depiction of a complicated and strained relationship, with emotional manipulation and conflicting feelings, Emotional Turmoil: Intense emotions of anger, sadness, frustration, and regret, Unresolved Grief: Characters grappling with loss and the potential end of a long-term relationship, Verbal Conflict: Arguments and heated exchanges between characters, Emotional Manipulation: Attempt by a character to sway or emotionally influence another through their actions or words, Physical Intimacy Amidst Conflict: Depictions of physical closeness that occurs within the context of unresolved emotional pain, Feelings of Guilt and Shame: Characters experiencing intense regret and self-blame for their actions, Unwanted Advances: Physical intimacy that happens despite conflicting feelings, creating a sense of discomfort, and Psychological Distress: Expressions of mental strain, confusion, and fear of loss.

Author’s note: only one more part left !!

Taglist:(comment if you wanna be added) @fate-posts @zukki33 @nightfurya @lethergy @wingoodlilboymyway @hxllhxund @stxrg3m @bigbobass

Spoiler: All you get is, there will be a part 5

Click here for the next part, Part Five, The finale!

Click here for the previous part, Part Three!

The break has honestly been strange. Five and you no longer speak, but the echoes of what you once had still linger. The house feels emptier, quieter, as if the absence of his presence has created a void that you can't quite fill. It's not just the lack of his voice or the absence of his touch—it's the way everything feels muted, as if the color has drained from your world.

Every day, you find yourself staring at him for far too long. When he's in the same room, it feels like an invisible tether pulls your gaze toward him. You catch glimpses of his familiar profile, the curve of his jaw, the way his hands move when he's deep in thought. There’s a haunting familiarity in his every gesture—a painful reminder of all the moments you shared, now tainted by betrayal and uncertainty.

He avoids your eyes, and you do the same, but the awareness of each other is a constant, almost unbearable presence. When you do accidentally meet his gaze, there’s a flicker of something—a brief, intense exchange of emotions neither of you can fully articulate. It's a mixture of longing, regret, and an unspoken understanding that things will never be the same.

Sometimes, you see him lingering in the hallway or catching a glimpse of you from across the room, his expression unreadable. You wonder if he's feeling the same emptiness, the same strange, hollow ache that you do. You wonder if he misses you—or if he’s relieved that you're giving each other space.

At night, you lie awake, listening to the silence, the emptiness of the bed beside you a stark reminder of what you’ve lost. You think about all the things you wish you could say to him—the questions that plague your mind, the confessions that weigh heavily on your heart. But the distance between you feels like a chasm, and you’re not sure how to bridge it.

You try to focus on other things, to distract yourself from the constant pull towards him. But it’s hard when he’s always there, just out of reach. It's like trying to forget a song that’s been stuck in your head for weeks—you can’t help but hum the tune, even when you don’t want to.

You sigh, trying to busy yourself in your room, cleaning, organizing—anything to occupy your mind. But no matter how many times you rearrange the shelves or sort through your clothes, you can’t escape the thoughts that consume you. Every task feels hollow, every moment a reminder of what you’re trying to avoid.

The days stretch on, each one blending into the next, a monotonous blur of empty hours and restless nights. You find yourself staring out the window, watching the world go by, feeling disconnected from everything around you. The silence in the house is deafening, broken only by the sound of your own thoughts, circling endlessly in your mind.

You try to focus on anything other than him, but it’s hard when his presence is everywhere. You catch glimpses of him in the hallway, the way he lingers by the door as if waiting for something—maybe for you to speak, maybe for a sign that things could go back to the way they were. But you’re not sure if that’s even possible anymore.

You hear a knock on your door. You sigh, a wave of nausea rolling over you. It seems like every time someone knocks at your bedroom door, that feeling of dread rises up in your throat, threatening to choke you. You already know who it is—there’s only one person who would bother to knock softly, who would linger just outside, hesitating before making his presence known.

For a moment, you consider ignoring it, pretending you’re not there. Maybe he’ll go away, maybe he’ll take the hint. But another knock, a little firmer this time, breaks the silence again, and you realize he’s not going to leave.

You drag yourself to the door, each step feeling heavier than the last. Your hand hesitates on the doorknob, your heart pounding in your chest. You take a deep breath and pull the door open, bracing yourself for whatever comes next.

Five stands there, his expression uncertain, his eyes searching yours for any hint of what you might be feeling. “Hey,” he says quietly, his voice strained and tired.

You nod in acknowledgment, standing awkwardly with your hand still gripping the edge of the door. The silence stretches between you, heavy with everything left unsaid. You want to ask him why he’s here, what he wants, but the words stick in your throat. It’s like every time you see him, your heart remembers both the love and the betrayal, and it’s paralyzing.

Five shifts his weight, glancing down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you. “I—um, Lila got the paternity test done,” he stammers, the words hanging in the air like a loaded gun.

Your breath catches in your throat. “And?” you manage to ask, your voice barely above a whisper, dreading the answer but needing to know.

Five swallows hard, his face tense. "It’s Diego’s," he finally says, his voice soft but steady. "The baby... it’s Diego’s."

A rush of relief floods through you, but it’s quickly overshadowed by the complicated mess of emotions that follow. Anger, hurt, betrayal—they’re all still there, simmering just beneath the surface. You don’t know what to say, what to feel.

You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, your grip loosening on the doorknob. “Okay,” you whisper, your voice shaking with a mix of emotions you can’t quite name. Five takes a small step forward, his eyes searching yours, hoping for some sign of what you’re thinking.

“Is there... is there any chance we could try to start over?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of vulnerability and longing. You scrunch your eyes closed, a sigh escaping your lips. “Five, we’ve been together for decades,” you say, your voice heavy with emotion, “and you threw it all away for a few years of mistakes.”

He sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I know. I know all too fucking well,” he replies, his voice thick with regret. The silence that follows is charged with the weight of everything unsaid, the enormity of what’s been lost hanging heavily between you.

After a long, tense pause, he finally breaks the silence. “Am I going to lose you?” His voice trembles, a raw edge of fear and desperation cutting through his words. You close your eyes, thinking.

You close your eyes, the weight of his question settling heavily on your shoulders. He’s your first—and only—love. He’s your husband, at least for now. The history you share, the memories, the years of life intertwined, all come rushing back, making it nearly impossible to think clearly.

You take a deep breath, trying to sift through the tangled emotions. “I.. Give me a reason not to leave.” you say, your voice trembling with a mix of hope and desperation.

Five’s eyes widen slightly, a flicker of relief mixed with uncertainty crossing his face. He takes a step closer, his gaze earnest and intense. “Because I’m still in love with you,” he says softly, his voice cracking with emotion.

You shake your head, your resolve firm despite the turmoil inside. “That’s not good enough,” you reply, your voice tinged with frustration.

He sighs deeply, the weight of your words sinking in. Without hesitation, he steps forward and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you gently towards him. His touch sends a jolt through you, a mix of familiar comfort and renewed uncertainty. You want to push him away, to maintain the distance you’ve worked hard to create, but your body betrays you, leaning into his touch despite your better judgment.

“Then prove it,” you whisper, your voice trembling with a mix of challenge and longing. “Show me that you’re willing to fight for us, to rebuild what we’ve lost.”

His grip tightens slightly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that speaks of his determination and desperation. “I will,” he promises, his voice raw with sincerity. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Just... please, give me a chance to show you.

You sigh, the weight of his plea settling heavily on your shoulders. You nod slowly, the gesture filled with a mix of reluctant hope and cautious optimism. Five’s eyes soften with a flicker of relief, and before you can react, he leans in and kisses you.

The kiss is both tender and desperate, a blend of old familiarity and new vulnerability. It’s as if he’s trying to pour all his regrets, his hopes, and his love into that one moment. You feel a whirlwind of emotions—familiarity mingling with unresolved pain, love clashing with hurt. His lips linger against yours, seeking connection, reassurance, and redemption.

When he finally pulls away, his gaze is steady, filled with a mixture of hope and fear. “Thank you,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll show you—I promise.”

Before you can fully grasp his words, his lips are on yours again. His kiss deepens, passionate and urgent, as if he's trying to convey all the words left unsaid. You find yourself responding, your body remembering the familiar rhythm of his touch. This kiss is different—it's not like those nights when your anger and lust drove you to call him to your room, at least it didn't feel like it.

He pushes you back into the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. His hands move to the hem of your shirt, fingers grazing the delicate fabric as he lifts it gently. The rustle of the material and the cool air against your skin send a shiver down your spine. His gaze is intense, a blend of desire and reverence as his eyes meet yours, silently asking for permission to proceed.

You hesitate for a moment, your heart racing with a mixture of desire and uncertainty. But as you look into Five's eyes, you see a depth of emotion that makes your resolve waver. Slowly, you nod, giving him the permission he seeks. His hands move with a gentle reverence, carefully lifting your shirt over your head, his fingers trailing along your skin as if rediscovering a long-lost treasure.

It’s different, different from then when you’d fuck him out of anger.

This time, there's a tenderness in his touch, a vulnerability in his eyes that speaks of regret and a desperate desire to make things right. As he leans in to kiss you again, you feel the weight of your shared history, the pain of recent betrayals, and a flickering hope for redemption all tangled together. His lips move against yours with a gentle urgency, as if he's trying to convey all the words he couldn't say, all the promises he wants to keep.

His hands move with practiced ease, cupping your covered breast with a gentle yet confident touch. The familiar gesture sends a shiver down your spine, a mix of anticipation and lingering uncertainty. With deft fingers, he skillfully unclasps your bra, the soft click of the fastener echoing in the charged silence between you. The fabric falls away, exposing your skin to the cool air, and you can't help but feel a flutter of vulnerability.

Five's touch is a paradox - both achingly familiar and thrillingly new. His fingers trace delicate patterns across your skin, each caress charged with a potent blend of longing and silent apology. The pads of his fingers find your nipples, pinching them with just the right amount of pressure. It's a testament to your shared history, to all the intimate moments that have led to this perfect knowledge of your body. He's learned exactly how you like to be touched, during your time as fuck-buddies.

His lips begin a slow, sensuous journey down your neck, leaving a trail of soft, feather-light kisses in their wake. Each press of his lips against your skin ignites a spark of pleasure, making you shiver with growing desire. Despite the turmoil still swirling in your mind, your body responds to him instinctively, arching into his touch, seeking more of that exquisite contact.

Five's hands continue their gentle exploration, tracing the familiar contours of your body with a reverence that feels almost sacred. His touch is both an apology and a confession, filled with a passionate yearning to make things right. Each caress is an unspoken plea for forgiveness, as if he's trying to mend the fractures between you with the softness of his fingertips, attempting to rebuild the trust and intimacy that’s been shattered.

As his lips move against your neck, pressing soft kisses along your skin, you find yourself drifting back in time, remembering the first time you met. It hadn’t been like this. Far from it. You were rivals then, each too proud and stubborn to admit any attraction that simmered just beneath the surface of your bickering. You had hated him for his arrogance, his sharp wit that always seemed to cut too deep. But underneath all that resentment was a spark—one you had tried so hard to ignore.

And now, here you were, years later, both of you changed by time, by mistakes, by love, and by loss. The spark that once ignited between you had turned into a raging fire, burning everything in its path, leaving nothing untouched. You wonder if it’s possible to start over, to rebuild from the ashes of what was lost, or if this is just another attempt to grasp at something that can never be fully restored.

You think about the hurt—the betrayal that cut deeper than you ever thought possible. He slept with someone he’s known for far less time than he’s known you. The fucker made you his wife and still never touched you until after he had been with someone else—during your marriage, no less. The thought twists in your gut like a knife, the pain raw and fresh.

Your eyes clench shut, trying to push away the memories, the images that flicker behind your eyelids like a cruel reminder. The way his lips move against your skin now, the softness of his touch—it starts to burn. What once felt familiar and safe now feels foreign, wrong, tainted by everything that’s happened. You want to lose yourself in the comfort of his arms, to forget the betrayal, but the reality of it is too stark, too present.

The conflict within you intensifies with every passing second, each touch from Five a painful reminder of the two worlds you now inhabit—one built on years of love and shared memories, and the other tainted by betrayal and broken trust. His hands move with a tenderness that used to soothe you, but now they only stir up old wounds. You’re caught between the familiar comfort of his embrace and the urge to push him away, to protect yourself from more pain.

Your breath quickens as you try to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions. You can’t just forget what happened, but the thought of losing him entirely is terrifying. You’re not sure if you can keep doing this, living in the middle ground between love and hate, between wanting to forgive and needing to protect yourself.

“Stop,” you whisper, your voice shaky. You press your hands against his chest, pushing him back. He stops immediately, his brows furrowing with confusion.

“What is it?” he asks, his voice soft, cautious.

You struggle to find the words, your chest tight with emotion. “I don’t know if I can do this,” you finally say, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I don’t know if I can forget... or forgive.” Five looks at you, his expression earnest. “Come on, can’t we just, I don’t know, move on? People make mistakes, right?”

The words hit you like a slap to the face. Your eyes widen in disbelief, anger bubbling up inside you. “Move on?” you repeat, your voice rising. “Are you fucking serious right now? You think I can just ‘move on’ from you cheating on me?”

Five’s face falls, realizing his mistake, but he tries to backtrack. “I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Then how did you mean it?” you snap, your anger flaring. “You think this is something I can just get over? Like it’s some minor bump in the road?”

He opens his mouth, but no words come out. He looks lost, like he’s trying to find the right thing to say but is coming up empty. “I just... I didn’t want things to stay like this,” he finally mutters, sounding defeated.

You laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Of course you didn’t. It’s inconvenient for you, isn’t it? Dealing with the consequences of your actions.”

He steps back, a look of guilt and frustration crossing his face. “I know I fucked up, okay? I’m trying here, I just... I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe start by not saying something so fucking stupid,” you retort, your voice sharp.

Five winces, his eyes dropping to the floor, shame evident in every line of his posture. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, his voice barely audible. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. I know it is. I know I hurt you.”

You shake your head, feeling the sting of fresh tears threatening to spill. “You still don’t get it,” you say, your voice cracking with a mix of anger and pain. “This isn’t just about hurting me, Five. This is about breaking something I thought was unbreakable. And you think I can just...move past that?”

He runs a hand through his hair, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. “I don’t know what else to say,” he admits, his voice strained. “I’m trying to make this right, but I keep screwing up. I don’t know how to fix this.”

You let out a bitter laugh, wiping away a stray tear. “Maybe you can’t,” you reply, your tone blunt and unforgiving. “Maybe there’s no fixing this. Maybe you’ve already done all the damage you can.”

Five’s face crumples, a mix of frustration and desperation etched across his features. He opens his mouth to speak, then hesitates. You can see the internal battle playing out in his mind, his jaw clenching as if he's holding back something important. Finally, he lets out a breath, his shoulders slumping as he confesses, “I... I still have feelings for Lila.”

The air leaves your lungs as if you’ve been punched in the stomach. You take a step back, your hands trembling. “What?” The word comes out barely above a whisper, but it’s loaded with shock and disbelief.

He raises his hands in a placating gesture, panic flaring in his eyes. “It’s not what you think—I don’t want to be with her, but after everything… I don’t know how to just shut off those feelings. I thought maybe if we could move on, if I could focus on us—”

You cut him off, your voice rising with a newfound fury. “So that’s it? You think we can just ‘move on’ while you’re still hung up on her? That’s your big plan?” Five shakes his head quickly, stepping toward you, but you hold up a hand to stop him. “No. Just… don’t. I can’t believe you thought you could fix this by just ignoring what you feel for her. You’re so fucking insane.”

He flinches at your words, his face crumpling in a mix of guilt and frustration. “I’m not saying it’s easy!” he snaps back, his own anger flaring up. “I’m trying to deal with it, to make it right with you—”

“Deal with it?” you interrupt, “You don’t just ‘deal with’ something like this, Five! You think I’m supposed to sit around and wait for you to figure out your feelings for someone else?” He sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair, his expression torn. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I’m trying to be honest—”

“Honest?” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head. “You don’t get to call this honesty. This is called you being so very fucking selfish. ”

Five's face tightens, his frustration boiling over. “What do you want me to say? That I’m perfect? I’m not! I’m trying to do the right thing here. There’s so much fucking stuff on my mind- I know I messed up—”

You don’t let him finish. “Messed up? You fucked someone else, Five! You betrayed me, our marriage, and now you’re telling me you still have feelings for her? That’s not just a ‘mess up’—that’s a choice! And now you expect me to just stand here and take it?” Five looks desperate, his eyes pleading with you to understand. “I’m here with you, trying to fix things with you. Isn’t that what matters?”

You shake your head, tears of frustration and hurt streaming down your face. “No, Five, that’s not enough. You don’t get to decide what’s enough. You don’t get to make me feel like I have to compete for you. Not with her, not with anyone. If you can’t figure out who you want, then maybe you don’t deserve either of us.”

He looks at you, stricken, his face pale. “I never wanted to lose you,” he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’m so scared of losing you.”

You let out a shaky breath, your heart breaking all over again. “You should have thought about that before you fucked Lila. I’m not your backup plan, Five. I’m not something you can just fall back on when things get complicated.”

You take a step back, your hand on the doorknob. “If you really want me, you need to prove it. But I’m not waiting around for you to decide. I’ve been hurt enough.”

And with that, you turn and leave, your heart heavy, What the fuck is wrong with you Five Hargreaves?

[messiahzzz]

i’d briefly like to talk about the “it was fine” dialogue option that happens the morning after gale’s Last Night Alive scene in act ii and about the fandom's general reaction to it.

gale is a character who evidently enjoys the occasional teasing. taking the piss out of your partner every once in a while can certainly be a way of showing affection. however, it is important to consider the context of the situation: what is at stake for him and his current emotional state, as well as what exactly had transpired between the two of them prior to said conversation.

gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.

after he and tav had spent the night together and confessed their love to each other, gale is once again showing himself utterly vulnerable and is carefully asking them for reassurance.

gale: [..] i hope that night meant as much to you as it did to me.

gale: but you - you led me away from the edge.

gale: without your words, your touch... i fear i would have sought purpose and solace in that void. you reminded me what living can feel like.

he wants to check in with them, after both of them have shared something tender and very intimate, something he might even consider life-altering.

gale: we didn't just make love. we bonded, body and soul. i got lost in you.

it’s not even about gale “not being able to read social cues” and “not recognizing the fact that it was meant in jest.” in fact, i’d argue it is a rather tone-deaf, inconsiderate response and just genuinely a REALLY BAD TIME to joke at your partner's expense when they are actively baring their feelings to you and are asking you for reassurance.

i have seen people write off his reaction as “unwarranted” or “overtly dramatic” but in my humble opinion, it is pretty understandable given the nature of their conversation and what he is asking of them. it's also sad how there seems to be a general pattern of gale's emotions and boundaries getting played off as a joke, while other companions get shown the courtesy of thorough analysis/understanding. he is proud of his skill as a lover and the fact that he was able to bring them pleasure, yet his inquiry is less about him wanting tav to stroke his ego and more about him, once again, asking if you indeed share the same feelings for each other… after the emotional high has now passed.

gale has an ever-present need for clarity in his relationships, very likely due to the fact that this was something he couldn’t request of mystra. he might appear more sensitive in that regard compared to the other companions. he doesn’t want to take himself too seriously, but this still often clashes with his general feeling of inadequacy. where he is able to take criticism as long as it isn’t related to his performance, overall prowess and usefulness.

yes, his response is passive-aggressive and yes, he IS obviously hurt by what tav said. yet merely repeating “it was fine” in response to a heartfelt, genuine question could’ve as well been interpreted in that manner. if tav does clarify that they have only been joking, he apologizes to them instead. otherwise his dialogue remains the same, albeit said in a more embarrassed & awkward tone.

gale is a character who is dealing with deep-rooted self-worth issues and yet that doesn’t mean that he wants to be handled with kid gloves, far from it. he craves a relationship in which his emotional needs are recognized, respected and cared for, where he can be unabashedly open and vulnerable without facing ridicule nor pity for it. and he is more than willing to give the same in return.

also y’know — there is a time and a place.

[funnycreatortimetravel]

Small rant about Sans' character that no one is ever going to read and is probably kind of inaccurate, but I'm going to scream into the void nonetheless because why the hell not and I'm kind of bored.

I feel like the concept of Sans as a whole has been so utterly gutted by the fandom and not in the way you'd think. Not because of the AUs which are all so oddly Sans-focused (but at least we have Underverse which is actually pretty good) but in the sense of the people who claim to "actually understand Sans canonically" and "try to stay as canon as possible" while also equally missing the point sort of. Hence, why we have this long and overplayed image I'm sure everyone has seen a billion times:

If I could lay some groundwork down, Undertale came out in 2015, nearly a decade ago. The internet was a different time and place then and fandom creativity reached new peaks that no one had ever seen before, and as a result, a lot of Undertale was exaggerated, changed, cut up, and then put back together. Why? Because in all honesty, Undertale was a really simple game with a simple premise. Sure there were bits and pieces scattered throughout, parts like who Gaster was, who Chara was when they were alive, who Sans is in general; all the typical fandom theory shenanigans we've come to expect in the recent years. And in that excitement, Sans became the staple of Undertale pretty much, or at least everything it represented. This macabre, yet adorably misleading game with funny moments and interesting think pieces that people are still speculating about. That's pretty much the basis of Sans. So I get why Sans became the quintessential poster child for such a subversively ambitious game. I get why, then, people try to showcase Sans as this badass God character who knows and remembers all of resets and cries over Papyrus and is just an edge lord in general. It doesn't mean it's accurate in the slightest, but I get the idea of it nonetheless. In the absence of content, and there's a lot of it in Undertale, (I mean, it took me 4 hours to 100% it in the Pacifist and Neutral Routes, and 5 hours to beat Genocide, including the times it took me to beat Undyne because she thoroughly kicked my ass and Sans as well) the fans filled those gaps with what they saw fit and what they saw fit was so wide and diverse that the gap overflowed and the game pretty much became unrecognizable.

And I (except for the truly questionable and gross stuff, you know what I'm talking about) love the fandom for that, I truly do. Just the sheer number of comics, spin-off games, AUs, art, and fanfiction that answered every question I had and more was and is impressive, but even so, there's only so much that can be done with the context Undertale provides us before the content gets...stale. Hence my point on why Sans' character was so exaggerated is because Undertale as a whole had been exaggerated and oversaturated and overplayed and generally...not what the game or Sans was originally. But that was peak 2016-2019, though, a few years ago. And the interpretations and eras, like everything, have changed.

Now back to my actual point. It's now 2024. The fandom has noticeably slowed down. All of the AUs and theories and fanfictions that were popular have either been forgotten about over the years, randomly rediscovered or still ongoing, or just abandoned entirely. The game has been pretty much combed through until every file has been cracked, every document leaked, and every secret discovered. It's like a picked over turkey at this point and a lot of the old creators have indeed left behind the game in pursuit of newer things, which is understandable. It's not the center of attention it once was and in that wake, we don't really have a lot of the same pillars in the Undertale community that we used to. And in this transformed community, we have the left over children, now young adults and teenagers, to pick up the pieces. And in that, Sans' character, as well as Undertale itself, has again, been reformed.

That was a lot of words. But I hope I at least set the center stage. My issue, pretty much, is that the leftover fans deem themselves as "above the cringe" the old fandom left behind, which, is fair enough. And in doing so, a lot of the foundation of the 2016-2019 Undertale fandom was kind of overwritten. No, now Sans is no longer this edgy, overpowered God figure ready to right the wrongs of the player, no, now he's this apathetic guy who doesn't care about anyone, including himself, and is only powerful because he cheated. And to be fair, I see some merit in this interpretation. Sans is in fact, a pretty morally ambiguous guy. He doesn't even attempt to stop the player during the genocide route until there's nothing left. He threatens the player on the pacifist route even when we pose no threat. He makes so many allusions about himself not caring about anything. So I get it. Everyone is tired of everything Sans-related. I was too at one point. But in trying to counteract this fanon interpretation of Sans, I feel like this new one is also semi-inaccurate. This new interpretation of Sans is meant to be seen as "mature" and "not cringe" when in fact, Undertale is and always will be sort of cringe. And that's OK! That's why I and others love the game so much, because it's not afraid of being anything other than what it is and what it claimed to be. It had a story in mind that it wanted to tell and it did so unabashedly. The need to separate Undertale and Sans itself from the cringe is so pointless and almost a little juvenile. And imo, even ruins the character of Sans himself.

Sans does care about Papyrus, so so so much. He reads him bedtime stories. He plays along with his illusions of grandeur. He calls out the player when he's killed, despite Sans having to remain objective as a judge. I feel like Sans not intervening in Papyrus' death isn't because he doesn't care, it's because his entire job is to act as a judge and in a position where he's mostly neutral. He knows the player has powers to redo and undo things, so thus, he gives us room to make those choices, for better or worse. He's like, the anti-toriel. He refuses to hold your hand. He tells YOU to make the right choice, and by you, I mean the player. And in that sense, I feel like that's not something a completely apathetic guy would do. Someone like that wouldn't even see the point of choices, of having an option. Someone like that wouldn't care about getting out of bed in the morning, getting several jobs, or telling a person with higher power to just engage with your brother.

Like come on, don't say he doesn't put effort into anything, like he went out of his way to make sure Pap's Holiday party went perfect. He's constantly going above and beyond for his brother.

Sans has emotions and they're so complex and so well-written, but I feel like this counter-cringe culture of the fandom wants him to be this guy who's either too depressed or too lazy to engage with others, or someone who would simply shrug off the death of loved ones when we have proof that Sans does indeed try hard for Papyrus in the ending where everyone dies but his brother. It's an "oh shit" sort of moment when he realizes that Papyrus is the only person he has left and thus, he puts in the effort to be better for him. It's not that he doesn't care or see the point, he's just kind of numb at this point. If Papyrus dies in the neutral routes, you don't see Sans again until the judgment hall and he'll call you a dirty brother killer and tell you to go to hell. That's something someone who at least cares a little would do. He's not above insulting the player and he's not above getting pissed. I've never really seen him as a, "well that's that then," character when it comes to Papyrus dying, for me, it's always been, "I'm angry, but I can maintain my composure and still do what I have to do."

Even in the genocide routes, Sans wants to give up and do nothing. He wants to let himself die without much thought. But he knows that he has to stand between you and oblivion. It's another, "Oh shit" moment, but in the opposite way. He knows he's gonna die. But he still has hope. Not necessarily that you'll be a good person, but that you can try another way and make better choices. He embodies the same mentality Papyrus did at the beginning of the run, believing there's a better chance for another future where everyone can be happy.

Sans isn't a nihilist, not all the way. There's still a chance, still a part of him that has hope for everything, regardless of the route. And should the Pacifist route be completed, you'll see that he's genuinely happy. He DOES care, or at least he's beginning to know that caring about things is ok and healthy even.

Ex 1: If you go to Sans' lab after completing a True Pacifist Route, you get this bit of dialog:

Ex 2: Sans and Papyrus talking about a Christmas party they had on the Newsletter of the 5th Anniversary of Undertale.

The strongest, yet most complex example of this that we see is that he upholds his promise with Toriel and will continue to do so until the genocide route at the very end because he wants to at least give us, the player, a chance. And even if it was a cop-out for being lazy, I believe that Sans legitimately believes there's a chance for us to turn around and be a better person, or at the very least, make better choices. We know that Sans is a person who doesn't like making promises at all, and even though he said that his threatening to kill Frisk is a joke, had he not made that promise to Toriel, I can't 100% say that he still wouldn't intervened in the genocide and neutral routes.

And if you think about it, Sans upholding that promise just makes me question him even more. Like, even if you kill his brother, so long as you don't kill everyone, he won't kill you just because of that. He sticks to his promise and his morals so much, even if it costs him everything because well, what type of judge would he be if he didn't stick to his moral code?

"If you have some special power, don't you think it's your responsibility to do the right thing?"

And by that logic, if he made a promise with someone, don't you think he'd feel he'd have the responsibility to uphold it?

We also know that he makes an effort to give us updates on the Underground after we leave in the neutral routes because he still wants us to know, at least, the consequences of our actions, so it's not like he's just lazily letting us get away with anything with do (even if he does physically.) He still holds our actions above our heads. He still keeps his promise. He still knows that we can make a better outcome. And if that doesn't say anything about him, I don't know what does.

Even in the neutral route endings where things are objectively going terribly for the monsters with Frisk killing Asgore and taking the souls to leave the barrier, Sans still never gives up. Sans, of all people.

And sure, Sans isn't a saint, not by a long shot, but he does have some moral weight in the long run, and by playing the part of a judge, he has a certain level of disattachment that's necessary when it comes to doing his job. Nowadays, I don't see the "fanon" sans that everyone loves to rag on, the one that's overly emotional and jarringly out of character, more so, I see everyone ragging on that interpretation, and then coming up with an equally inaccurate interpretation of Sans just not giving a shit and letting Frisk get away with everything just because he's "not emotional and only wants to be lazy, blah, blah, blah, nihilism, existentialism, it's more canonically accurate, unlike that CRINGE FANON SANS!" /or being a total unserious prankster with no other personality traits, and that's equally as jarring for me.

So in conclusion, I feel like "Fanon" Sans, the one where he's breaking down and sobbing over Papyrus and holding his scarf is just as inaccurate as the "more canon one" where he's apathetic and simply just not caring about his death, or at the very best, says "it is what it is." Sans is a character whose emotions aren't apparent, but he still does care in his weird philosophical way. He loves Papyrus and genuinely thinks he's cool. He's a jokester character who loves a good laugh and being laid back. He doesn't like putting in effort, but he will if he has to. He wants the player to make good choices, so he generally tries to stay out of the way to give us that freedom. Not because he knows we're gonna kill Papyrus, but because he knows we have greater power and wants us to use it to do the morally right thing. He isn't above doing morally grey things either, like threatening to kill Frisk in case they pose a threat to monster kind, but I believe even then, his hesitation to just accept a human in the underground is somewhat understandable given the oppressive tension between humans and monsters. Additionally, he does put in effort when it comes to caring about monsters other than Papyrus, Toriel, and even Alphys and Asgore, he cares about them all: (it's implied that he feeds the amalgamates in Alphy's old lab as proven by the same dog food we see in the lab being in Sans' house and Alphys even calls him a good guy because he helps her in the aborted genocide route ending, him telling jokes to Toriel and genuinely trying to bring some joy in her life even though she's a stranger and doesn't have an obligation to, even staying with her in the Ruins after she's dethroned in the Queen Undyne ending, him acting as the judge before Asgore and even being in such an important position requires you to have a solid sense of morality and conviction, his respect for Undyne as a warrior/leader depending on the ending and in the Undertale Newsletter, he makes an effort to score a goal for his team in Hocky, and Undyne of all people seems proud of him, and pretty much everything that has to do with Papyrus he's at the very least involved or interested in.)

My words don't have a lot of merit. I'm simply saying how I interpret things. But as a big sister, I see Sans as a good big brother who's not too involved, but also deeply cares about his younger brother and his friends. I get that stoicism and being "logical" and "cold" is the new trend and whatnot with all these edits of badass characters and longing for a time when everything was less...emotional, but in doing that, it shuts a lot of discussion about Sans as a person and his complex emotions as a whole. I feel like it's too difficult and kind of silly to chalk him up as either one or the other. I feel like there's a nice middle ground between the "cringe" fanon sans and the "cool, apathetic" canon sans that a lot of fans either go one or the other on. Anyway, that's about it for my rant. It's kind of nonsensical and a little hard to follow, but I hope I was able to get my thoughts across nonetheless.

I guess it was a big rant after all. Oh well. It is what it is.

[hestzhyen]

What's in a Name? (Sazanami Clan)

Sincerely sorry for spamming you, dear void. Think of this as a purge of ideas that have been percolating around for a while but were never given time until now. Anyway, let's take a look at the kanji meanings for the Sazanami clan members' names! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Much like parents creating a name for their children, authors often put their wishes and intentions for the character into the name selection process. Kagurabachi is no different- the Saznami's names showcase how much thought Hokazono put into creating the characters to fit seamlessly into the story.

I'm not a pro at Japanese so these interpretations are based off of a lot of research only.

Without further ado:

漣 (sazanami, most commonly read as ren) means "ripple". An indirect reference to the inherited isou technique that uses shock waves?

More rarely, it can also mean crying or continuously flowing tears. A hint towards the horrible legacy they've got as a clan, perhaps.

Sazanami Kyora (漣 京羅) - Bizarre name.

京 (kyo) directly means capital city and is often used as shorthand for Kyoto city itself (京都). 羅 (ra) is for lightweight fabrics like silk or gauze... a surface reading is kinda weird. His name is "silk capital", huh...

In a name, 京 (kyo) can confer both grandeur and power. 羅 (ra) can confer the idea of a protective net, or a link of unity and strength. So in my mind, Kyora is meant to be the powerful, uniting force that protects. Protects what? Certainly not his kids! GOTTEM

Sazanami Soya (漣 宗也) - Soya is a special guy for many reasons... 宗 (usually read as mune) is associated with respect for family, ancestry, and following the teachings of a founder (in a religious sense). The so reading is actually pretty rare and means "origin" or "virtuous ancestor". In general it conveys a sense of the child being expected to honor the family's ancestors, legacy, and perhaps being the start of something new and special. Good good this is fine.

也 is pretty interesting too. It's archaic, for one. Thus making it a strange choice for a modern name. The most common readings of 也 (nari and ya) mean "to be" in the sense that something is certain to happen/occur, but there's also a less common one used here (ya) that is questioning- like "will it be?" or "is it"? And when it's included in a name, 也 (ya) often takes on a meaning like "also". In an abstract sense, ya here implies excitement for the baby being born, so at least he's got that going for him.

So IMO the most direct meaning of 宗也 (soya) is "another origin" in reference to his "love" being what helps Hakuri overcome Soya himself and start down his new path, with strong implications that he was expected to honor his family's tradition... but maybe wouldn't be able to. Cool stuff! And really depressing in the context that he was chosen to be the next head of the family! Did his parents not have high hopes for him for some reason? Imagine naming your kid "baby we're excited to have that will respectfully carry on our family legacy" while also throwing it in doubt by deliberately using an archaic kanji lol. Soya never had a chance.

Is that why he treated Hakuri the way he did once his little bro failed to manifest the talent he was assumed to have...?

Sazanami Hakuri (漣 伯理) Our favorite former boyfailure sure has an interesting name...

伯 (haku) means someone with a position of high authority like "chief", "earl", or "count". In a name, it conveys a sense of respect and admiration being due as the highest ranked person in the family. What audacity lmao. I think it's interesting that the middle child was given this name since haku also implies being obligated respect and admiration as the eldest brother/role model of the family. Should his and Soya's names have been swapped?

理 (ri) means reason/logic... and less often, justice or truth. It's interesting that this character was used instead of the more common 裡 (ri) that usually composes the full name (伯裡). This character is for something in the rear or the middle, inside or within- implying they're protected or sheltered. Name implications of 裡 carry connotations of inner strength, security, and comfort; a sense of belonging and connection. ...Things our Hakuri notably lacks. He was never meant to be a strong leader secure in his relationships and protected from harm, I guess. So let's look at why 理 might have been chosen instead.

There are many possible implications when 理 used in a name, but most of them imply that the child will be guided or helped along in a positive way. Whether by order and structure, logic and wisdom, deep empathy... any or all of them. So his name is something like "logical/natural chief" with the implication that something will guide his path through life. Fortunately for him and us, it happens to be empathy (RIP Ice Lady). Not escaping the swapped names theories though since Soya was supposed to be the logical, calculating oldest brother chosen to lead the clan. Hmm.

With all that context, this panel just makes me so... something:

Is there more to unpack with the Sazanamis after all? Is leadership a meritocracy or something? Because normally you'd expect the oldest son to have the duty passed on to him. Yet I'm not confident that Soya was always the first choice now.

But yeah, with a name like that, no wonder we see him being called special by Kyora at such a young age- Hakuri had a lot placed on his shoulders at birth. It makes me curious as to why he was apparently seen as a better prospect than Soya, but we'll probably never get the details.

Sazanami Tenri (漣 天理) - Another guy with a unisex name that leans feminine lol. Even more parallels to Chihiro!

A lot of fellow anime and manga fans will probably be familiar with 天 (ten)- meaning heaven, sky, sometimes God. No surprises there. 理 (ri) - the same one used in Hakuri's name- once again means reason/logic, and less often, justice or truth. In names, 天 (ten) also adds a sense of natural talent or gifts the child is born with (and we do see Tenri becoming the youngest member of the Tou ever, so he certainly was born with something special like his father claimed).

理 (ri) implications hurt my heart. He was also named with great expectations placed on him, but at least it's a relatively common name unlike his older brothers'.

I think a common, straightforward interpretation is usually best so "heaven's natural law" is the meaning I'd ascribe. But I do like the optional interpretation of "heaven's judgement" being there to echo Mr. Inazuma's "lightning of judgement" that Chihiro delivered on his behalf. Just a fun little thing for me to gnaw on. The additional naming implications make me think he was supposed to be guided by his natural talents to a bright future, but... well...

I kind of want a side story or episode zero about Kyora, Mrs. Sazanami, Tenri, Hakuri, and Soya before Hakuri was ostracized now. Why were they named like this?! Hakuri and Soya in particular have me going insane over implications for their relationship and why Soya might have been so cruel to him...

Anyway, thanks as always for letting me rant in your ambivalent ears, kind internet void. I'll be able to ride out the last hour or so of waiting for spoilers in peace thanks to you.

[bestworstcase]

If the Silver Eyes are more aligned with Death/The Void than Light, then is it possible that what they affect could be substantially broader than just Grimm? Death/The Void comes for all, Human, Grimm, Faunus and in a sense Gods alike, and the power of the Silver Eyes might relate to that.

In that sense, Cinder isn't just getting hurt because she's part-Grimm, it's because Ruby explicitly wants to use the Silver Eyes to HARM her, and the Silver Eyes' power is tied to this desire to harm or protect, and how much it damages the target is affected as a result. Thus, any subsequent uses after V3 have been less effective because Cinder is not only getting more resilient/more guarded against it, but also because Ruby's motives have changed from harming Cinder to trying to keep Cinder away from her loved ones.

The reason why Ruby can't figure this out yet is because she's still struggling with her own faulty understanding of the Silver Eyes due to messy information and her own inner psychological issues screwing up her ability to master them.

ough i talk about this periodically so here is some background reading: pattern theory (tangential, this is about death in remnant generally) + some observations on the beacon tower glare. i have some older posts pertaining specifically to cinder and the glare too but i don’t have have the energy to go looking for them rn. anyway!

my theory is that it isn’t related to anything ruby thinks or feels or wants – but rather, cinder’s vulnerability to the glare is directly connected to her killing people.

first observation: cinder uses her right hand to summon the grimm beetle, and if any residual grimm remains inside her body afterward, it makes the most sense for it to stay in her right arm, yes? or at least her right side. but the first glare destroys her left arm and her left eye.

second observation: while ice queendom is an ancillary text, not necessarily canonical, i think it is worth noting that ruby’s glare destroys one of the nightmares infesting weiss, while both she and the grimm are literally inside weiss’s head, and weiss of course does not come to any harm. this tracks with maria’s assertion that the glare only harms grimm. the actual question with regard to cinder is why did the glare burn her human flesh?, because ‘she had parts of a grimm inside her’ isn’t actually an explanation.

we have never, ever seen a glare harm somebody who happened to be touching, or close to, a grimm in any other context. if cinder had something grimm inside her body and the glare destroyed that, there is no reason to think that this would hurt cinder. it would just remove the grimm, leaving her unharmed.

(sidebar: this is why nobody in salem’s inner circle, including cinder, has brought up “grimm” as a possible explanation. the fanon that cinder either 1. doesn’t know the glare hurts grimm even though the rest of her colleagues are clearly informed about silver eyes and openly discuss it in front of her, or 2. somehow hasn’t put two and two together to work out that her grimm parts are vulnerable to the magical power that destroys grimm, is nonsense. nobody in salem’s employ is confused about the glare hurting grimm, the question is how and why it hurt cinder.)

third observation: when cinder killed amber, claiming the other half of the fall maiden, her left eye is the one that ‘received’ the flames (her right eye having lit up when she took the first half). minutes later, she uses her left hand to kill pyrrha. symbolically, at least, the glare takes from her 1. her victory in killing amber (the eye) and 2. the hand with which she murdered pyrrha, ruby’s friend.

i think that this goes beyond mere symbolism – i think this is also what happens in the literal sense at the top of beacon tower. the glare taps into the liminal boundary between life and death, and in that moment cinder was (as pyrrha’s killer, and amber’s killer, and all three of them having been linked through this tug-of-war over the fall maiden) entangled with that boundary, so the glare burned her.

(i think this is also why salem – working with very limited information about what happened – believes that becoming the maiden is what left cinder vulnerable: she’s not referring to the magic but rather to the act of killing necessary to become the maiden. salem is unlikely to know the exact sequence of events leading up to the glare and cinder frankly may not have even mentioned killing pyrrha at all; we know that cinder was cagey about whether she did or didn’t kill ozpin, so there is every possibility that salem said “it’s because of the maiden” while under the impression that the girl cinder killed right before ruby struck her was the maiden.)

this also tracks, i think, with what we see with subsequent glares. the partial one at haven causes what seems to be a lot of pain in cinder’s grimm arm, but doesn’t harm cinder herself. (also jaune, who is openly death-seeking at that point in time, flinches from the light—he’s the only one who does, aside from cinder.)

in 7.13 cinder mows through a lot of soldiers to get to fria’s room, but it isn’t clear that she kills any of them (as combatants these people would be aura-trained, and cinder was in a hurry; it’s probable that she just plowed through and left them dazed / injured / aura-broken behind her, bowling pins style) – and then she doesn’t kill winter or penny or fria before ruby blasts her, and again we see that it causes pain in her grimm arm without harming cinder herself.

i think there is some grounds for thinking that the glare itself can also be resisted – the fact that cinder’s grimm arm hurts but isn’t destroyed is suggestive. given the nature of the glare itself, empowered by “the desire to preserve life,” my thinking here is that the defense against it is self-preservation – cinder (i believe) chose that arm and has embraced it as part of herself, and so whenever she’s hit by one of ruby’s glares what happens to the arm is a contest between ruby’s desire to protect her friends from cinder vs cinder’s desire to protect herself (including her arm) from ruby.

[transmutationisms]

could you please elaborate that post about spiritual ennui not being the cause of many social phenomena? theres a whole book I started reading recently (work pray code) which is predicated on the idea that in the US work has come to replace religion as the centerpiece of peoples lives (simultaneously bc of a withdrawal from religion as a country and bc of capitalism demanding that life revolve around work) and I wasnt completely convinced by the authors evidence toward that hypothesis. or was the social phenomena in question more like online culture stuff?

i don't know that particular book or author, so i don't have a sustained critique of them. but in general, yes, i'm frustrated by hypotheses that basically boil down to the idea that a decline in religiosity and religious infrastructure is causing some kind of spiritual poverty that is in turn responsible for various social ills. commonly i see this argument used to 'explain' phenomena including: the persistence of astrology and occult sciences; gun violence; political 'polarisation'; drug use; perceived cultural decline; 'mental health crises'; &c. broadly these analyses tend to draw elements from max weber's idea of disenchantment,¹ a large-scale diagnosis of modernity's devaluation of religion, and from the related notion of desacralisation, the process of divesting individual objects or institutions of their divine properties or provenance.

i think these analyses are really fucking bad and here are some major reasons why:

they're not materialist. by this i mean that, instead of looking for material factors and conditions that might explain social and cultural phenomena, they turn to metaphysical, philosophical, and intellectual explanations. let's think about the persistence of astrology as an example here. on a disenchantment analysis, people are getting back into astrology because, having lost (organised) religiosity in their lives, they feel a spiritual void and seek to create new cosmological meaning through engagement with an anachronistic science-turned-spiritual practice. this explanation sucks. in addition to the fact that astrology and occult sciences never really 'went away' in the first place (& neither did religion lol), this explanation treats spiritual practice and belief as mostly an individual/psychological phenomenon, neglecting rigorous sociological attention to how these ideas spread and how group and community dynamics nurture them and form around them. it also ignores things like the profit motive for astrological practitioners, and related points about how heterodox sciences in general thrive in contexts where professional and class interests create a massive gap between laypeople and experts, barring the general population from accessing and engaging with scientific discourses and critique. 'disenchantment' also grafts onto a general idea about 'alienation', positing that the decline in religiosity creates a sense of loss and disconnect and that this psychological experience drives interest in practices like astrology. but when we talk about 'alienation' in a marxist sense,² we mean material conditions of production: the literal, physical alienation of a labourer from their products, and of a capitalist from the world (because they produce only proximately, via the labourer). the psychological experience of alienation is a result of this real material process of estrangement and expropriation; a weberian analysis that tries to put alienation down to cultural or intellectual factors is not useful for understanding material changes and the 'base' economic relations.

these types of 'disenchantment' analyses tend to claim or imply that they're making universal sociological arguments: religiosity decreases, x takes its place. but in fact these are highly culturally and historically specific arguments. weber's formulation was explicitly premised on a highly eurocentric and teleological conception of 'modernity' and modernisation, wherein the west led the world in a process of 'rationalisation' that involved jettisoning spirituality. that he was ambivalent about the consequences of this process does not make the argument any less flawed. for example, even defining religiosity is not so easy (do we measure by church attendance? private internal belief? community values?) and although the catholic church has become less powerful in certain ways since the reformation, a) it's hardly gone away and b) it doesn't follow that spirituality or religiosity writ large have declined. sticking with the astrology example, if the weberian explanation holds, we should be able to come up with some set of criteria for identifying societies with high or low degrees of religiosity, and then associate that with prevalence of astrological practice. but uh, both of these things vary widely between countries, regions, social groups, &c, almost as though there are other factors at play here, and 'religion' and 'astrology' themselves also have varying meanings, uses, and practical manifestations in varying social and historical contexts.

these 'disenchantment' explanations pretty much all start from the same rhetorical operation, which goes something like: "[x problem] is bad and harmful, which is discordant with my imagination of what 'the west'/the usa is 'supposed' to be like. why does such a [developed/modern/wealthy] society have these problems?" from there, it's a move to a critique of modernity/rationality/the speaker's notion of 'progress', and specifically a critique that aims to identify and root out some kind of spiritual rot or void, without ever challenging or problematising the construction of such notions of 'progress' or the processes of imperialism and colonialism that make 'the west' and wealthy lifestyles possible. in other words, these are generally reactionary arguments that seek to preserve the status quo of the material processes of exploitation and production, but want more psychological fulfillment for a few people.

these explanations are just really fucking bad and over-simplified explanations of how religion functions and what effects it has in a society. again, part of the issue here is that 'religion' is not even really a cohesive category and certainly not a unified set of practices. it works sometimes through institutions, which have their own financial and class characters; it interacts with and sometimes seeks to control politics; it also functions to enforce group identity and community cohesion. these are not inherently good or spiritually fulfilling things, and these effects all vary in different religions, societies, and historical contexts, which makes statements about the consequences of 'declining religiosity' kind of nonsensical on their face. religion can be a vector of racism, of caste, of other inequities; given astrology's essentialist character and resemblence to similarly class- and race-enforcing and -creating psychological projects, i'm certainly willing to entertain arguments that modern astrology performs these religious functions. but again, this argument would require actual materialist analysis, not just the vague diagnosis that 'people want to create spiritual meaning' in a 'modern' world supposedly too 'rational' to fulfill that need.

¹ term borrowed from schiller, but schiller used it somewhat differently and in a different context

² marx's later texts largely subsume the idea of 'alienation' or 'estrangement' into a larger analysis of 'commodity fetishism', which has its own theoretical problems in the construction of the 'fetish' concept; see j lorand matory's "the fetish revisited: marx, freud, and the gods black people make".

[trans-enby-culture-is]

This is a culture blog for trans people!

Meaning everyone who is under the trans umbrella (or can be under the trans umbrella: trans men and women, nonbinary people, xenogenders, questioning people, anyone not cis or who think they aren't cis). Also cis people you are welcome to like, reblog, follow but please don't hijack posts. I don't gatekeep here, just everyone be respectful of each other.

So how does it work?

Send in an ask or submission that starts off with: "x culture is". x being trans, non-binary, gender queer, agender... Be as general or spasific as you want. Then add in anything you like having to do with being trans.

Then I'll post the submissions!

Please don't use "nb" when you mean non-binary (it originally meant non black, and shouldn't be used in this context)

Wait aren't there blogs like this already?

There are some general trans/enby culture blogs, but they haven't been active in years, so I'm stepping in to the void.

This blog is inspired by other culture blogs:

@aro-culture-is, @ace-culture-is, @ndcultureis, @depression-culture-is, @gnc-culture-is, @apl-culture-is, @nonamorous-culture-is, @demi-alterous-culture-is, @demigirl-culture-is, @demigender-culture-is, @queercutlureis, @questioning-aspec-culture-is, @autigender-culture-is, @neopronoun-user-culture-is, @genderqueer-culture-is, @genderqueercultureis, @aspec-culture, @no-empathy-culture-is, @disassociation-culture-is

Lists of culture blogs:

part 1: orientations and general queerness

part 2: gender identities + intersex

part 3: neurodivergency

My main blog: @it-is-only-a-novel

DNI: the usual, I don't hesitate to block.

Edited on 14/10/23

[experthiese]

checked one of these two boxes? never fear, this post is for you!

below the cut is an extensive recap of not only lupin himself, but the context he's set against and the other major characters introduced throughout the franchise. I don't imagine this will answer every single question, and I'm always more than happy to expand on this over on discord or something, but this is an easy peasy starting point to link to

so, let's get started!

Who are the Lupin family?

The first notable Lupin was Arsène Lupin, phantom thief of France. He operated mostly within the Paris area until his reputation spread, at which point he began to become more of a worldwide thief. During his active years he kept a journal, in which he documented his heists and what treasure was stolen. This is passed down from generation to generation, and is currently in the possession of Lupin III. During this time he also wrote a Thieves' Rulebook, which has since been stolen by Lupin III⁶.

As he aged, Arsène's health began to decline, and he turned his attention from stealing treasures to stealing organs, most often hearts to replace his own failing one. He retired to his Paris mansion and spent his days laying in his bedside, surrounded by beautiful women who he often abused and his personal surgical team. He collected his victims through a variety of ways, most commonly dubiously-legal trick contracts he'd have them sign under false pretenses, usually pertaining to money or the inheritance of his grand estate. Arsène even tried this trick on his own grandson¹, but he saw through it and used a similar trick ink to void his signature.

Arsène was also personally responsible for training both his son and grandson in the ways of master thievery, and started passing down his skillset as soon as the children were able to comprehend instructions. Lupin III, Arsène's grandson, claimed that he'd been getting trained as a thief for longer than he could remember, and had started his training long before he'd learned to write his own name². Arsène generally considered his son, Lupin II, to be a failure and disappointment to the family, and the two did not like each other. This is potentially why they lived on separate sides of the globe, with Lupin II choosing to build his home in Tokyo instead of Paris.

Arsène is dead.

After Arsène came Lupin II, who was successful in his own right but is often overshadowed by the grander feats of his father and son. He removed his son, Lupin III, from Arséne's mentorship and encouraged him to walk the straight and narrow, away from a life of thievery². He left young Lupin III to attend school within Japan and live in his Tokyo mansion with his housekeeper and lover, Shinobu, while he continued his worldwide thefts and building of the Lupin Empire. A more headcanon-heavy take on that particular endeavour can be found here. This left little opportunity for family bonding, and while Lupin III did love his father, it's hard to feel especially close to him when he missed out on just about every dramatic life event a child can have.

Like all Lupins, he was a notorious womaniser and loved the ladies' attention, but he was considerably kinder than Arsène was. He was the first gentleman thief of the family, and he taught his son the importance of gentlemanly behaviour and never ignoring a woman in trouble. It's a lesson his son took to heart.

Lupin II is dead.

And finally, Lupin III. He left home and struck out on his own as an early teenager, accompanied by his Walther and his best friend Jigen³ (more on him later). Since then, Lupin III has made a name for himself as the world's best and most wanted thief, and it's his personal goal to not only live up to his grandfather's legacy, but surpass it. To this end, he likes to target items that Arsène documented himself as being unable to steal, such as the Bresson Diary⁴ or the Louvre's Mona Lisa painting⁵. He despised who his grandfather became, so tends to lean into the mythologised idea of 'the phantom thief of France', rather than connect those legends with the unpleasant old man he remembers.

Like the two generations before him, Lupin travels all over the world to steal whatever he's set his sights on, and will infiltrate cults, gangs, government buildings and billionare's homes alike. Nowhere is safe from him.

So that's his backstory. But who is Lupin III?

" I've heard about him. With a Walther in one hand, he's a diabolical thief who never misses his mark. ... We can't run from Lupin III. "¹¹

As said above, Lupin III is recognised as both the best and the most wanted thief in the world. He's so notorious that he's collected his own fair share of copycats and imitators, though Inspector Zenigata is adept at separating these crimes from those of the real Lupin.

Though Lupin acts silly and lighthearted most of the time, this is a performance he uses to hide his incredible intelligence and vast array of skills. He has shown himself to excel in many areas, including the piloting of any and all possible vehicles, chemistry and gas creation, and general gadget invention. He hides miniature explosives²⁶, smoke bombs, and various tools³³ all over his body, including in a fake tooth and in a hairpiece he wears over his real hair. He can also slip things into or out of the pockets of those he passes, even when given only a split second to do so without detection.

Perhaps most confusing about Lupin's mind is his inability to dream, instead seeing nothing but a void. This was once described as the conscious of an idiot or a god³².

More than anything, Lupin hates the feeling of boredom. His skill is so exceptional that simply stealing things isn't thrilling enough: he needs to find ways to make it more difficult for himself. This is why he cherishes his rivalries with Fujiko and Zenigata - both push him to do his best and create plans to circumvent the both of them, and they add the much-needed thrill to his game. That's how he's come to see his thieving career: as a game.

And much like every good game, he needs players. That's where the Lupin gang come in.

What is 'the Lupin gang', and who's in it?

The Lupin gang is the colloquial name given to Lupin and his friends, the "approved players" he's collected and allowed to become a permanent part of his life. The exact number of people involved in each heist varies, but it can be assumed that all of them have ways of contacting each other should things ever go seriously wrong. Lupin is protective (some might say possessive) over them, and will kill anyone who threatens or attempts to take their lives.

The known friends are as follows:

Daisuke Jigen. Lupin's best friend and closest partner. Though the two of them do do occasional solo work, it's more often safe to assume that if you can find one, the other won't be far behind. He's been shown to have been taught several of the Lupin family skills, including flawless disguise and voice mimicry⁸, and is so close to Lupin that he's been mistaken for his lover⁹. He knows just about everything there is to know about Lupin.

Outside of this, Jigen is considered to be the single best marksman in the world, and is capable of hitting a penny from a hundred meters away¹⁶. In fact, it was his gun skills that caught Lupin's attention in the first place, back when they were attending the same school².

Goemon Ishikawa XIII. A samurai wielding the legendary sword Zantetsuken, capable of cutting through anything. They met when Goemon attempted to kill him²⁰ and later ended up slicing his car cleanly in half²¹, and Lupin has considered him part of the gang ever since.

However, Goemon has the least patience for Lupin's tricks or deception, and is always the first to reject a job and leave if he doesn't like its end goal (usually something to do with impressing a woman). He also devotes a lot of his time to his solo training, travelling to a remote area and honing his skills there until he feels ready to return.

Fujiko Mine. An exceptionally beautiful seductress, spy, and thief. Lupin is head over heels for her and will do anything she asks of him, usually in return for something like a kiss. Fujiko often betrays him once he's finished being useful to her current plan, leaving with the treasure and letting Lupin find his own way out of whatever situation he's gotten himself in. Her betrayals are forgiven by Lupin every time - he's even said they're something he looks forward to²⁷ - but the others (most notably Jigen) don't trust her and will become frustrated by Lupin's infatuation. This has no effect on Lupin, however, who was the one to initiate this rivalry between them²⁸ and has, on occasion, been able to preempt her double crossing²⁹ and outsmart her in the process³⁰.

Fujiko once said that the two were once lovers, though she left him¹⁹, and the same thing happened during their later relationship³¹. I interpret this second relationship as a marriage given the imagery surrounding it throughout Part 5, but canon is once again unclear on this and I'm keeping it deliberately flexible.

Koichi Zenigata. Though he's not an official part of Lupin's affiliates, being on the opposing side of the law to them, he's someone Lupin has come to care about deeply and still considers part of his group regardless. The two of them have such a close relationship that Zenigata has been mistaken as Lupin's boyfriend by both Rebecca²² and Ami²³, and he once declared his intention to arrest Lupin's heart²⁴.

He is devoted to arresting Lupin, and becomes very depressed whenever he's removed from the Lupin case or believes Lupin to be dead²⁵.

Any other important people we should know about?

Rebecca Rossellini. An Italian heiress most known for her acting career. They first met when he saved her life from an overzealous fan threatening to bomb the train she was trapped on⁷, and Lupin proposed marriage not long afterwards. Though their marriage was later revealed not to have any legal binding¹⁷, he allowed her to keep his last name and use it if she wished. She remained in Italy when he left.

Despite being the one to propose the initial wedding, he has no romantic / sexual feelings towards her.

Laetitia Bresson. The granddaughter of famous archeologist, Professor Bresson, and co-protagonist of Lupin III: The First. Her grandfather worked alongside the original Arsène Lupin to design the Bresson Diary's complex lock, something that required both Lupin III and Laetitia to eventually open. Though he initially found himself distrusting and clashing against her, Lupin soon warmed to her and worked alongside her to find and stop the ancient weaponknown as the Eclipse.

Despite wanting to go with Lupin and asking if he would take her along, he promised to reunite them in five years and encouraged her to attend Boston University⁴.

Clarisse de Cagliostro. The young ruler of the Grand Duchy of Cagliostro, and someone he met early on in his thieving career. They reunited ten years later during The Castle of Cagliostro, where Lupin aimed to rescue her from her forced wedding and reveal the truth behind the estate's lost treasure. Though she fell in love with him and wanted to come along on future travels, Lupin rejected her and insisted she stay behind in the light, rather than become "dirty" like him¹⁹.

However, he knows that she is willing to shelter him in Cagliostro should he ever need to fly under the radar, and he is similarly willing to aid her with any issue she may face in the future.

Ami Enan. An incredibly talented hacker, and someone Lupin enlisted the help of in order to rob Dark Web giant Marco Polo of their money¹⁰. After helping her to explore and trust the outside world, he encouraged her to apply to boarding school and live a more normal life. He has since cut ties to ensure her safety and to discourage any further criminal involvement.

Albert d'Andrésy. Someone who was once a potential rival to Lupin and received thief training from Arsène after Lupin III's move to Japan¹. Despite this, Lupin considers himself far above Albert's level and holds nothing but distaste for him.

Goro Yatagarasu / Yata. Zenigata's assistant, who dutifully follows him everywhere the Lupin chase leads. He doesn't always understand the complexities of Lupin's game and Zenigata's responses to it.

For OCs and specific canon portrayals of the above muses, please check my connections page! This section only details the canon connections for the benefit of those unfamiliar with the source material, and thus won't provide a holistic view of my Lupin and his extensive web of relationships.

How did they all meet?

Canon is mixed on this one, and each writer has their own preferred takes. While I, for example, tend to default to Lupin Zero canon for Lupin and Jigen (because it's cute), this is deliberately kept flexible and open to change depending on whose Jigen I'm writing with. Same goes for the others, too.

Basically: don't worry about it unless you intend to (or already do) write one of the above muses. All that matters is that they met.

What's the public's perception of Lupin? What does the layman know?

Again, canon is a little confused on this.

Sometimes Lupin is able to use the Clark Kent disguise of a pair of glasses and get away with it¹¹, implying that he is really living up to the "phantom thief" title and can't be casually recognised by face alone. Sometimes he doesn't even need to hide his appearance, people just don't know who he is until he's introduced¹². Other times, he's shown to have legions of fans¹³ and scrapbooks of his every newspaper appearance¹⁴ and claw machine plushie merchandise¹⁵, displaying his face all over the place. Whether or not your muse can recognise his appearance, I leave up to you.

However, what does remain consistent is that Lupin is more loved than he is feared, a successful charmer with the ladies and somewhat of a celebrity (though Lupin himself hates being referred to as such).

What's law enforcement's perception of Lupin? Is there any difference in what the regional police know, versus interpol?

The Lupin case is highly classified, with Zenigata being its lead and the one with control over which details are shared. Regional police have a bigger tendency to disregard Lupin as a threat and insist that their surveillance alone will be enough to stop him, while interpol take him more seriously and have a better understanding of what he's capable of. Both sides lack an understanding of the nuances of Lupin's game, as well as the unspoken rules both he and Zenigata follow during their chase.

What's Inspector Zenigata's perception of Lupin? What does he know?

Zenigata's knowledge rivals even Jigen's. He knows the scent of Lupin's preferred cologne, his cars and their license plates (not that that's too difficult to remember: it's 03LPN33¹⁷), his common escape patterns, his handwriting and the type of cardstock used for all genuine calling cards, and is most adept at recognising his disguises. He is the only member of law enforcement who stands a real chance at arresting Lupin, and has made it his life purpose.

A lot of this knowledge is thanks to his many tireless years on Lupin's tail, slowly learning all of the thief's tricks and self-imposed rules, but Zenigata is also a genius inspector. He can catch any criminal who's not Lupin, and has even caught and imprisoned Lupin many times, stating over one hundred captures¹⁸. Unfortunately for Zenigata, Lupin has proven himself just too good at breaking out, and has never managed to contain him in a prison he couldn't eventually find his way out of.

What Zenigata wants most is for Lupin to serve his time in prison and pay back his debt to society. Lupin, of course, knows this, and has exploited that desire to manipulate Zenigata's emotions, such as getting him to cry so he'll walk away from Lupin's prison cell and give him an opportunity to escape²⁶.

What's the underworld's perception of Lupin?

The underworld's perception of Lupin isn't the most positive thing, given that he's often turned his skills against his fellow criminals and menaced gangs, organised syndicates, and people he generally considers to be "worse" than him. His skills are undoubtedly impressive and a source of reluctant admiration, and thus many within this circle seek to deceive or exploit Lupin's talent for their own gains. This plan rarely works in their favour, however.

Some people instead want Lupin dead, and have attempted this in a variety of ways. Sending hitmen simply won't work, not as long as he has Jigen and Goemon by his side, and so the craftier among them have learned that it's much more effective to turn his own people against him. As was once said: They are the best players in the world. It's nearly impossible to kill them. The only one who can kill Lupin is Jigen.¹⁶

When is Lupin III set?

Lupin and co. are frozen in time, and been shown in various eras throughout the franchise (with the most modern being Part 5, with its cryptocurrencies and BitMoney). For this reason, I generally find it easier to set him in the default era of whoever I'm writing with, or just assume it's "modern day". The time period doesn't really impact how I'd portray Lupin, so it's not massively important.

However, Lupin as a character was born somewhere around the late thirties / early forties, and this is reflected in certain possessions his character owns. For example, his favoured gun is a Walther P38, something that was only produced from 1939-45 and is definitely considered outdated by today's standards. Lupin Zero shows that this gun originally belonged to his father, Lupin II, and was given away as a parting gift once he set off on his own³.

Citations.

¹ Lupin Zero, Ep. 3: The Grandson of the First Vies for Succession

² Lupin Zero, Ep. 1: Young Lupin Meets a Wolf

³ Lupin Zero, Ep. 6: Young Lupin Claims the Title of The Third

⁴ Lupin III: The First (2019)

⁵ Lupin III Part 2, Ep. 115: Mona Lisa Smiles Twice

⁶ Lupin III Part 1, Ep. 20: Catch the Fake Lupin!

⁷ Lupin III Part 4, Ep. 26: Non-Stop Rendevous

⁸ Lupin III Part 5, Ep. 7: His Name is Albert

⁹ Lupin III Part 5, Ep. 2: The Lupin Game

¹⁰ Lupin III Part 5, Ep. 1: The Girl in the Twin Towers

¹¹ Lupin III Part 4, Ep. 15: High School Undercover!

¹² Lupin III Part 4, Ep. 2: The False Fantasista

¹³ Lupin III: Princess of the Breeze (2013)

¹⁴ Lupin III Part 5, Ep. 17: Introducing Detective Jim Barnett III

¹⁵ Lupin III: Dragon of Doom (1994)

¹⁶ Lupin III: Seven Days Rhapsody (2006)

¹⁷ Lupin III Part 4, Ep. 12: The Italian Dream (Part Two)

¹⁸ Lupin III Part 2, Ep. 72: The Skateboard Murder Mystery

¹⁹ Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

²⁰ Lupin III Part 1, Ep. 5: The Coming of Goemon the Thirteenth

²¹ Lupin III Part 1, Ep. 7: A Wolf Calls a Wolf

²² Lupin III Part 4, Ep. 1: The Marriage of Lupin III

²³ Lupin III Part 5, Ep. 4: Zenigata's Pride and the Desert Dust

²⁴ Lupin III Part 5, Ep. 24: Just Then, An Old Buddy Said Something

²⁵ Lupin III: The Fuma Conspiracy (1987)

²⁶ Lupin III: Operation Return the Treasure (2003)

²⁷ Lupin III: Farewell to Nostradamus (1995)

²⁸ The Woman Called Fujiko Mine, Ep. 1: Great Thief Vs. Female Phantom Thief

²⁹ Lupin III: Jigen's Gravestone (2014)

³⁰ Lupin III: Blood Seal - Eternal Mermaid (2011)

³¹ Lupin III Part 5 closing: Seine No Kaze Ni (Adieu)

³² Lupin III: The Mystery of Mamo (1978)

³³ Lupin III: Sweet Lost Night (2008)

[i-only-know-fandoms]

Carlos's mention in the wedding special and how they handled it was disappointing and vague and, in my opinion, leaves the door open to either fate

Context

So I took a peak at the Barnes & Noble bonus chapter of Melissa de la Cruz's Beyond the Isle of the Lost and Mal and Evie and Jay and Ben and even Doug are there but there's no mention of Carlos, and I don't know, that really upsets me. The Core Four aren't going to be in the movies anymore, (Disney, though intent on making more movie, at least hasn't sunken as low to recast Cameron, and Dove, Sofia, and Booboo won't return without him) they still exist in the universe (Mal's portrait, this bonus chapter, etc). And it just seems to me, as long as it's not on screen and they're continuing the franchise, Disney should include Carlos in any future books they might appear in

(Which I also believe they should do to continue Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay's story. They're intent on continuing the franchise, they've made that clear, and so tossing aside the characters that created it seems callous. Obviously there can be no more movies with them, thus, books. Also, these theoretical books could be for the YA fans of the original trilogy and thus get into the grittier details of the Isle, not the watered down happy ending that made no sense canonically in D3. As many are pointing out, Rise of Red will be for a new generation of fans)

I, personally, think that if they're set on continuing the franchise they should honor they characters should still be used (again, offscreen in books) to continue their stories and the legacies of the characters and the actors who created them, especially Cameron, as this is really his only legacy character. It also gives another way of keeping his memory alive, if they dedicate the books to him, and raise awareness for his foundation by including an page promoting it in the books.

It also seems callous to me to just toss all the work of those characters to the side, like they don't mean anything now that they can't be used in movies.

But, I am also worried want wanting this (or even asking Disney this, though I doubt they'd pay attention) that I am also just using Cameron? I just, I miss him so much, and this would keep him alive (similar to Chadwick Boseman through T'Challa. Like, they had him die in the movies as to not recast him, but there's still all the Black Panther comics and merchandise that he lives through. Yes, it's not necessarily his iteration of the character, since it did exist before him, but he's still connected with it). But should this stay in the fandom through fanfics and fanart, and not touched by Disney? But they're continuing the universe, so feels like this is just forcing him to disappear? Idk, I did another post about this after the Wedding Special, because I don't know if I'm being insensitive by wanting this. I don't think I am, I don't mean to be, but that doesn't mean I'm not.

So I set up this poll, (and set it before my rambling since who wants to read all this, lol) to get some wider perspective. Should I keep asking Disney to try and get the Core four's stories continued in books (if you're on Instagram, yup this is me) or am I being insensitive towards as them by asking for this

(The utter hopelessness of asking Disney and if I should give up because of it isn't in question, I have nothing better to do with my life than scream into the void. But if it's morally wrong.... I trust the fandom for an honest opinion on this and tumblr is the best place. And now we have polls, so......)

[aesethewitch]

Starting Yet Another creative project to put together my own oracle deck since the one I have is... I mean, it's alright. But I don't really vibe with the art or the card meanings as well as I'd like to. So obviously,,,, I gotta make my own huh.

Details under the cut for length because I'm rambling to myself as I flesh this idea out

I'm using this pad of smallish scrapbooking paper to make the cards since it's a thicker cardstock (and it has nice colors). I figure I'll sketch out my designs and then paint over them since this paper can handle paint without being destroyed. Perhaps a junk journal theme using my large collection of stickers.............

Undecided if I want to cut the papers own in size at all, since one of my main problems is that the oracle deck I have now is hard to shuffle due to card size. Which is... also my problem with most oracle decks, tbh. Scraps would be used for other projects and things. Smaller pages would also be easier to fill, using less materials and encouraging overlapping things for a fuller look.

The other issue with oracle decks is that they just don't vibe. The imagery is usually nice and all, but the cards themselves don't depict things that actually matter to me and my practice. Even if the theme matters or I like the art, there's always That One Card I just don't care for.

Oracle decks, to me, are meant to provide guidance rather than answers. Advice for next steps, inner strengths to draw on, or energetic focuses to improve or deal with a situation. They add color, context, and flavor to readings done with other cards. This deck will be no different. My goal is to create an oracle deck that specializes in general guidance and actionable advice in a broad sense.

As for theme... I mean, it makes sense to center it around The Lady, right? The ideals and imagery I associate with Her would be a good starting place, at least. Maybe a combination of symbols I look for in nature (transitory signals between seasons and parts of seasons) and the Lady's direct symbols.

A list of meanings......

The Lady - Fate as a force, the larger whole, direct message coming through

Yarn - Connections, weaving

Knots - Tying, making connections, fixed moments

Crossroads - Choices, split paths

Death - Change, endings

Mushrooms - Decay, afterlife, resilience

Bread - Creation, rising, hearth

Pen - Writing, creativity, keeping records

Book - History, learning, stories

Paint - Art, inspiration

Key - Opening doors, opportunity, answers

Lock - Secrets, blocked path, challenge, questions

Door - Passage, transition

Sea - Depth, tides, deep knowledge, mystery, movement (eternal)

River - Movement (fast), travel, change

Butterfly - Transformation, transition, trust, day

Moth - Transformation, transition, faith, night

Stars - Dreams, hope, wishes, stories

Void - Space, nothingness, in-between

Moon - Phases, visions, seeing in the dark

Clover - Luck, good fortune

Broken mirror - Bad luck, poor chances, mistakes

Dice - Chance, gambling, games

Playing cards (poker?) - Games, deception, skill

Spider/webs - Trap, sticky, pattern, weaving

Tarot - Divination, the future, advice

Seeds - Potential, sowing

Flowers - Growth, beauty, production, fleeting

Grave/headstone - Death, grief, memory

Candle - Ritual, altar

Lighthouse - Beacon, signs, lookout

Eyes - Knowing, seeing

Ghosts - Afterlife, spirits

Bees - Industry, teamwork

Sunrise/sunset - Beginnings, endings (the only reversible card?)

Leaves (different colors) - Changing seasons, time passing

......and probably more as I start putting these dang things together. Once they're finished, these cards will replace the ones I currently use for add-ons in paid readings. I'm looking forward to making these!!

[bthump]

How accountable do you believe human Griffith is for the sacrifice of the Hawks, considering his mental state, the power dynamic between Griffith and the God Hand and the lies they told him, such as the Hawks "forgiving him" for the sacrifice after the fact, essentially manufacturing their consent? Do you believe that informed consent matters in levying accountability in this context, and how much do you belive Miura intended Griffith's "decision" to be seen as unforgivable?

Honestly I find this difficult to answer because the question doesn't really mesh with how I view fiction.

Like, idc about accountability really, except inasmuch as I think it's important from a storytelling perspective that he has agency when he makes the choice. I enjoy it when characters do bad things for justifiable reasons; I wouldn't enjoy it if, say, Void was holding a gun to Griffith's head and forcing him to say "I sacrifice." There are mitigating circumstances a lawyer might bring up if we were putting Griffith on trial lol, like he's in the middle of a suicidal breakdown and the godhand are telling him a biased version of his life story, but at the end of the day he makes the choice himself, as a cumulation of the way he's lived his whole life, and I love that.

Forgiveable is also a bit of a vague term. By who? Guts? The Hawks? Me, the reader? The narrative? I don't forgive Griffith because I don't blame him in the first place, I just think it's a great climax to a story. I don't think any of the fictional characters in the story should be required to forgive him, but I think Guts would based on my assessment of his feelings about it. But imo NeoGriffith isn't likely to be forgiven by anyone because he doesn't regret anything. And I don't expect the narrative to go in a redemptive, tearful apologies direction with him. I feel like we're kind of beyond that.

But I don't think Miura intended it to be viewed as unforgiveable because I don't think that's how the morality in Berserk operates in general. That's too black and white a perspective. Miura said himself in an interview that he's creating Berserk without the values of "good and evil," and for some people Griffith's world is the one they prefer. The whole point of his narrative is to ask the question of if the ends justify the means, probably without definitively answering it.

Sorry lol idk if this is a good answer to your questions, but yeah it's hard for me to engage with a story as if the characters were real. Like, if I was eaten by monsters because of Griffith I wouldn't forgive him lol, but I'm just reading a story so that's not relevant to me. I don't tend to evaluate stories or characters on the basis of morality, I only care whether the story works, and Griffith's story does. But part of why it works is because the sacrifice isn't a pure evil action, it's a sympathetic, understandable choice.

Thanks for the ask!

[askultimatedirk]

if not heart, what other aspect would you like to have been assigned

Really making me crack open a few textbooks, aren't you? Buckle the fuckle up, chucklefucks, this one's going to be a dissertation. I'll even be so kind as to split it off so as not to disturb your precious tumblr feed.

First of all, let's get something out of the way. I'm answering this question more in the context of what I think would fit me, not what I think would be the most useful or conducive to the grand scheme. If I were going with that idea, the answer would be Space, full stop. That's a rather undramatic and not very interesting answer, though, so instead I'm taking the initiative as usual to do what I want to do.

The first step is to eliminate some obvious choices. While Void matches my creativity and skepticism, most of it completely undermines my lust to know literally everything at all times. Life would imply that I am anything but destructive to other people, intentionally or not. Hope is laughable. I've given some thought to Blood and Breath, the prophet and the protagonist, but neither holds much weight when the rest of the aspect is considered. I'm sure a case could be made for each of these, but I will not be doing so.

Rage would be among those immediately discarded, except for the fact that inherently, the core of the aspect is destruction. While I have devoted myself now to the prospect of creation and new life, it's not a forgotten fact that destruction runs in my veins as a Prince. I would implore that you simply imagine an Ultimate Prince of Rage. Kurloz could never. However, I eventually settled on this being an impossibility due to the connection Rage shares with madness, because fuck knows I would never get anywhere if my head was full of stupid clown shit.

Another that I likely would have discarded is Light, though it holds more weight than Rage. It's the opposite of Void, the hunger of knowing all and seeing all, to understand the very fabric of the universe. Of course, a Seer of Light would be an extremely handy player to have in their Ultimate form. This ended up not going further after some speculation and pontification, mostly because Light players are heavily associated with water and absolutely fuck the ocean.

I'm sure you expected Doom to be on this list, and it is. Fate's chosen sufferers and all that. A Prince would turn this notion inside out, the essence of self-destruction and fatalistic overwhelming. It's funny, really, the fact that I could just as easily been assigned as a Doom player if one were needed. Sacrifice and judgement are also two words reminiscent of myself, of course. In actuality, though, I don't have the social skills or empathy to stick it out as a Doom player. It wouldn't come off right.

I've already mentioned Space, of course, so let me get a little further into that. Without defaulting to the obvious point of Space players pulling the strings for extremely long periods of time without needing to make this information known, I find the power and responsibility to be something that not only would I be able to handle, but I would most likely be given in any session spawning a Space player. It's all about delayed gratification and understanding that while the little things may not be important to others, and they may not even be important now, they will absolutely be important later and should go correctly the first time. Unfortunately, Space players have a strong connection with life and I don't see that fitting in with me, or a Prince at all for that matter.

So now we get down to my two choices - surprise, I won't be making a concrete decision between these two.

Let's go with the obvious first, Mind. While it might seem counterintuitive to even consider the counterpart of my current aspect, given that each pair are generally complete opposites, I've come to the conclusion that Mind is something I've already quite often affiliated myself with. It may speak to my nature that I have done my best to conquer the shortcomings that being a Heart player naturally gifted me with, but I am a planner, a thinker, and a decision maker. Logic is core to my person. The only reason I'm not entirely certain about this one is because of the sense of justice that Terezi has bled all over the understanding of the aspect itself, but that's not concrete and may in fact not be an issue.

Lastly, of course we have to consider Time. I respect Dave, but if I were to borrow his aspect, I don't doubt for a second I wouldn't give it back. While I believe Space powers are more helpful for what I'm currently looking to do, Time powers would be my personal choice. It's true that time-hopping takes a toll and briefly causes chaos, but with the proper setup and someone who actually understands the fabric of time from the get-go, it's extremely powerful. Not only that, but the aspect itself suits me as well. Goal-focused and a problem-solver, struggling because everything needs to be just the way I want it to be. The issue is again the empathy, but that's not a core part of being a Time player.

So to conclude, I think either Mind or Time would fit me quite well. Not as well as Heart, of course, which is why I believe I'll stick with that, but this hypothetical scenario was fun and interesting to write a little essay for. Have fun analyzing it.

[scary-narco-psychopath]

Blog introduction/common misconceptions

Brief intro post so people aren’t totally off put by my username/photo/misunderstanding what it’s all supposed to mean. Hi, I’m a self identified psychopath and narcissist. In this context these words mean something different to me than their clinical definition. I am 18 years old, American, and my gender is irrelevant. To answer your most pertinent questions:

No, I do not murder people for fun (or for work, for that matter)

No, I do not kick puppies and torture newborns

No, I do not derive pleasure from others suffering (not very often, anyway—it takes a real asshole for me to wish harm unto someone)

No, I am not an abuser, manipulator, or generally an asshole. I’m actually a pretty normal and nice person if you know me irl—you wouldn’t even know I’m a narc/psycho at all.

Yes, I respect other people’s existence and have basic cognitive empathy—treat others as you would like to be treated. Basic stuff.

Purpose of blog/why call yourself that?

I identify this way because I do not fit into a conventional category of mental illness for the reasons stated above (and many more), yet I find myself perpetually isolated, alone, and alienated from the “shared human experience” that unites the rest of society (supposedly anyway).

To be fair, I am clinically diagnosed—with depression and anxiety—but that is much besides the point. The issues for which I made this blog have hardly anything to do with my Major Depressive Disorder or my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (though, to be honest, they do exacerbate some of the symptoms of those conditions).

In essence, I have discovered I lack many basic, fundamental “normal” human traits, including but not limited to:

Genuine love and attachment to people and living things. I do not form bonds or real “relationships” in the proper sense—to me, people are functionally objects. I will treat them with great care, but only to the degree required of me. Furthermore, If they leave my life, I will not miss any of them.

Sharing of emotion, or “affective empathy” — I do not “feel for” other people. I do not rejoice in their happiness. I do not grieve in their despair. When I hear of tragedies or witness horrific violence, I feel barely anything more than casual disdain for the world. The only thing I really care about with people I know is if they have something in jealous of or if they can provide me with something I desire. Other than that, I have no genuine interest in them and their emotions.

Interest outside of myself and my image—kind of explained in the last point, but I am very narcissistic—I think largely about myself, almost all of the time, and there is little thought I dedicate to other people—when i genuinely try to “think” about others, it is highly forced and unnatural. I try to be subtle as I can about my narcissistic tendencies, but ultimately all I genuinely care about is my own happiness and personal whims—the service of others is secondary.

Ability to grieve or “feel gratitude”

There’s probably more I’m forgetting but those are some basics about me. Basically, I’m externally “functional” and have enough decency and cognitive empathy to distance me from the label of ASPD, as well as not enough trauma or disruptive symptoms to have NPD. I am also not autistic (though I’ve had some doubts in the past). However, I fall in a grey line between normal and abnormal, and the perpetually isolating reality of my condition is crushing to me. Hence why I’m here, making this blog.

I suppose part of me wants to hope someone out there feels a little bit like me, too—not because I care about those people, but so that I don’t feel quite as painfully alone.

Or maybe this blog is just another way to stroke my huge ego and fill the boundless void inside me that craves constant and endless attention from people.

Follower rules

All that aside, I hope you enjoy my blog. Almost anyone is welcome to browse or interact, regardless of mental health status, as long as you are not an asshole or acting aggressively and hatefully. Feel free to drop me questions in my inbox about anything, related to these topics or even random questions. Keep in mind I have the right to decline a question if I deem it too personal or wish not to answer, but I invite you to ask whatever you want—respectfully of course.

You are not welcome on my blog if you are:

Transphobic

Homophobic

Racist

Xenophobic

Bigoted

A Zionist

A nazi

I believe that’s all for an intro post. Sorry for making it SO long, just wanted to be thorough and establish a clear idea of what this blog is for, what the rules are, etc. I hope you enjoy your time and stay sane out there! It’s a crazy world <3

[koskela-knights]

I’m trying to make my own AW2 playlist of chapter ending songs—do you have any recommendations? Feel like we’re similarly obsessed with the spiral…

Thnx for your question! And well yeah I might be a bit obsessed with the spiral/loops and its endless possibilities & scenarios that could've been 👀

Besides the official ending songs the game already provides, there are some other songs that give me general AW/AW2 vibes or specific feels for certain characters! I've been pondering about songs to share for a while, so this is a great opportunity! Thnx again for the ask!

Also feel free to share your own songs in my inbox if you feel like it :D

It's gonna be a long post so buckle up 😅

This is the moment to share my love for Lord Huron, specifically their Strange Trails album but also Vide Noir one.

Strange Trails is, to me, an album about being lost and cursed and it's about love. Honestly, I don't think The Night We Met is a good representative about the entire album.

Meet Me In The Woods

This entire song just screams Alan Wake to me.

I took a little journey to the unknown, And I come back changed. I can feel it in my bones. I fucked with forces that our eyes can't see. Now the darkness got a hold on me.

(...)

How long, baby, have I been away? Oh, it feels like ages though you say it's only days. There ain't language for the things I've seen. And the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams.

(...)

I have seen what the darkness does. Said goodbye to who I was. I ain't never been away so long. Don't look back them days are gone. Follow me into the endless night. I can bring your fears to life. Show me yours and I'll show you mine. Meet me in the woods tonight.

Like, how can you read those lyrics and not think about our boy Alan.

2. Way Out There

Drifting in a land time forgot If you think that I've changed, you know me not I belong bodily to the earth I'm just wearing old bones from those that came first I been unraveling since my birth

Those lyrics and partially the song in general remind me of Alan in the Dark Place trying to escape. How many loops has he been through? (Thus in this context, kind of wearing 'old bones from those who came first, aka older iterations of Alan himself) Also, the theremin they use is so fitting and it's an instrument often used in horror movies so <3

3. Vide Noir (both album itself & song)

Where can you go when it’s all in your head? These are the last words that I ever said Where can you go when it’s all in your head? These are the last words that I ever said

Tbh, this album also gives off major Control vibes with its themes and songs about the Astral plane & the black void. Many other songs on the album talk about the main character getting lost and drifting in-between time/space and living/dying

4. War by Poets of the Fall

You might be familiar with the song already and its music video 👀

I like how all the Poets were involved in the video as Taken (have you seen BTS shots of Olli with a fake beard?!!) Anyways, the song makes me think of how Alan has to remember that there are people out there who want to help him. That there are people out there fighting against the Darkness, even if he is mainly unaware and might even feel he doesn't deserve external help. It also reflects Alice being Alan's bright light in the darkness, and the reason he wants to keep fighting to get back to her.

In a similar vein, Lust For Life (also PoTF haha) this song could also be seen through an Alan/Alice lens, the shared shoebox mechanic and Alice trying to help/guide Alan back to the real world.

What is lost may be found Safe and sound

5. Hello Cabaret by PoTF

Now this song is maybe one of my faves of the Ghostlight album. Relistening to my fave lyrics of the song, it reminds me of the Koskelas and Ilmo specifically.

For when you come calling Dancing on my grave For all my choices made Judging me for how I played The hand you dealt me Stains the blood that flows

(...)

Of all I once did love but lost Nothing comes without a cost The wise fool said that's just the way it goes

(...)

Most will never comprehend Till' they're in the very predicament

To me, Ilmo at the end of the game is heartbroken and dead inside now that his other/better half is gone. The 'you' in question here might as well be the player or Scratch/Alan and he feels judged by the narrative of his previous actions. He's made decisions and sacrifices and used the Cult as a palpable 'villain' for the greater good. Something many probably didn't/wouldn't understand unless they were in his shoes.

6. Chasing Echoes by PoTF

It's a fun coincidence that in AW2 you have literal Echoes to chase huh.

Is this a role or disguise seeking mercy in creation? Just another device or truly a time when we will rise? Oh one and all, to the occasion And bridge the gap to see the other side?

The more on-the-nose/literal meaning aside, I think this song can be read as another one about Alan trying to escape the DP/spiral upwards toward ascension. Again, there's a 'you' in this song that could be interpreted as Alice who is a light inside Alan's darkness.

7. Brother by Lord Huron

How long have I known you, brother? Hundreds of lives, thousands of years How many miles have we wandered Under the sky, chasing our fear? Considering the spiral and the historical background of the Koskelas and their (indirect) ties to the Huotaris, they might as well known each other/been brothers for longer than what we see in-game. Some kind of trouble is coming Don't know when, don't know what I will stand by you, brother 'Til the daylight comes or I'm dead and gone

(...)

I know we can't stop what's coming But I will try, oh how I'll try Will you fight with me, brother One last time, one last fight

We know Ilmo got visited by the Dark Presence and has had nightmares about killing Jaakko. Luckily, he rose above that (as far as we know) but I think the dread and fear of losing Jaakko keeps lingering just underneath the surface. Personally, I enjoy the thought of people sometimes remembering the previous loop/spiral and that those affected/remembering would try anything to keep the loop from repeating.

8. You Belong To Me by Cat Pierce

If you're a fan of Alan/Scratch, this song has that obsessive/possessive vibe to it that seems to be a dialogue/mix between them.

I've heard allegations 'bout your reputation I'll show you my shadows if you show yours Let's get it right dear, give a good fight dear We'll keep it all up behind closed doors

(...)

I must confess to you, I want to possess you Feels like we're dreaming, we're tripping and reeling Just say that you belong to me I could get lost in the feelings we're feeling Just say that you belong to me

[justastarholder]

=0 Therapy doesn’t exist yet??? Oh, I’m sorry, but I cannot sit back and let this slide. I’m sure explaining what therapy is will have no affect on the timeline whatsoever =]

Okay so. Therapy isn’t necessarily just an analysis of dreams. However, when it was first budding, that certainly was the case. Assuming a person’s mental state from their dreams is, of course, not a very sound system, as most dreams don’t have much meaning. After all, ‘dreams’ are really just the byproduct of your brain sorting through the information inside of it. For the most part.

However, if a person is having dreams of harming themselves or others or something of that manner, then yes, dream analysis could help work towards a solid solution. The issue with this is that most dreams people have are trivial and insignificant.

This does not mean therapy is rendered void, though! Therapy is a very broad and general term to describe a process or treatment to help someone—sometimes, not even mentally (or, mental therapy helps a person identify themselves or their emotional issues). There are many types of therapy, but ‘group therapy’ specifically is really just a group of people discussing their issues to help address a disconnection and to fix any broken threads that caused the people in question to drift.

In simpler terms, sometimes just discussing your issues can help tenfold, or you could converse with a professional. However, I don’t think a professional in the context of the Star Holder timeframe would help, considering therapy is only just starting—

I’m drifting off from the main point, but therapy can certainly help! At least, more developed version of it can. The mind is rather vast, after all.

(Sorry, I love talking about psychology and the like)

"Thank you for the meal." The Aberration pauses to continue chewing. When they speak again, their voice is thick with amusement. "But I think it's more interesting to watch them fumble, don't you?"