#vizowritesideas

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Helluva Boss - DnD

So my friends/roommates recently got me into playing DnD, and after how much fun I had playing around here on Tumblr with the Game Night AU thing, it got me thinking: 

What would happen if the I.M.P. family decided to do a campaign together?? :D

For the sake of.....sake, I’m going off of the The Lost Mine of Phandelver campaign because that was the one that my friends and I did.  It’s a really nice starter campaign and I could see Moxxie picking it out if they went into a game store on Earth or something and found it sitting there on the shelf.  Which, actually, coincidentally leads me into which roles I think they would’ve taken.  :3

Moxxie, for sure, would’ve ended up as the DM.  Bltiz thought that he wanted to be the DM at first--riiiiiight up until he realized that it meant that he had to deal with all the maps and lore and random shit.  That changed his mind pretty quickly, and he just shoved all of the books onto Moxxie’s lap and said “Have fun, Mox!  I’m gonna be a wizard!”  

The thing that Blitz didn’t realize, though, is that Moxxie had chosen to assign each of them the premade character sheets that came with the game--which of course got the very loud “WHAT THE FUCK MOXXIE?!” from Blitz, but, as Moxxie pointed out.....that was one of his many powers alloted to him as the DM so they just had to deal with it. :)  So he slides each of the four players [Blitz, Striker, Millie, and Loona] their premade sheets upside down on the table, and eagerly watches them each flip them over.  

Striker’s tail rattling is the first sound that breaks out.

“What the hell is this “Noble” bullshit?!” he demands as he slaps his character sheet back down on the table, furiously pointing at the spot where his character background is listed.  “Do I look like I’d be playin’ as some ditzy ass blueblood?!?”

“You’re playing as a fighter,” Moxxie replied airily, trying not to [and failing miserably at trying not to] smile.  “You just happen to be a fighter that has a history of being in the nobility.  It adds character dimension.”

Striker’s tail began to rattle louder.

“And I’m a--ohhhhh!!  I’m a Rogue!!” Millie’s voice spiked excitedly as she read through her sheet.  “My background’s as a Criminal.  Hell yes!!  And I have a shortsword and a shortbow with 20 arrows--oh come on, I’m not THAT short!!--but ooohhh I have Thieves Tools too.....this sounds like fun!!”  

She leaned over the table to throw her arms around Moxxie in a hug, giggling happily as he hugged her back and hummed, “I thought you’d like that one.”

“I’m a.....Wizard,” Loona read, her head tilting as she looked through her info and stats.  “I’m a High Elf--what’s an elf?--and I have this book that I carry around with me all the time......oh come on!!”

“I-I thought it would be something you’d be more comfortable with,” Moxxie tried to justify a bit sheepishly, nuzzling softly against the side of Millie’s head as he continued to hug her.  “You get Darkvision too, though, which I thought you’d like!  And you get to cast a bunch of magic spells to attack people with!”

“Woah, really?” Loona blinked once, then went back down to the spellcasting section of her sheet.  “You mean I can do more than just open a portal?”

“Yes!”

“Sweet.” Loona set her sheet back down on the table with a satisfied little smile, glancing over at Blitz who was looking at his own with a perplexed look on his face.  “What?  What’s yours, Blitz?”

Blitz’s eyes lifted from his paper to meet Moxxie’s across the table, the look on his face only becoming more pronounced as he saw Moxxie cling a bit tighter to Millie as he kept her in between the two of them.  

“The fuck is a Cleric?!”

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.....I had two equally intense and drastically different thoughts pop into my head when I read this and I hope I’m not ruining this top tier content post by putting them both out there: 

First Thought 1 - Forbidden romance is my bread, butter, jam--my entire brunch.  This idea is amazing and I would love love love to see this play out in a full AU fic or something because.....holy fucking shit.  There are so many angles you could take with this, and soooooooooo much potential for doing some deep character dives and it would be INCREDIBLE to see play out!!  I have so many ideas--omgomgomgomgomg I might need to write this send help >/////<

~

First Thought 2 - Omg hahahahaha wouldn’t it be fan-fucking-tastic if there was just a scene in this where you had something like:  Stolas: -in “fancy rich people” affronted voice- You can’t fuck my Blitzy!!  He’s MY forbidden fucking imp!!!

Striker: You know what?  Just because you said that, I’m gonna fuck him--

Moxxie: -flatly, looking like he wants to be anywhere but here listening to this-  Harder? 

Striker: No.�� Exclusively, as his husband, after we sneak off to EVERY single fucking ring in the entirety of Hell and elope. -smirks-  And harder. 

Stolas: 

Striker: 

Blitz:

Moxxie:

Ok like what about a AU theres a law where all imps, sinners and even overlords (basically everyone in hell) cannot date another person from another ring. So when blitz and striker meet blitz trust so hard to fight those romantic urges he has with striker, but at the wall scene those urges won control and they go for a intense make out session. They want to be together, they really do! But since it's a law. There gonna have to keep it a secret..

Any situation where Blitz and Striker can't openly shove their hands down each other's clothes without suffering some dire consequence is inherently super hot. Someone stumbles across them in a bathroom or alley with Striker's mouth on Blitz's neck and they've got to panic wondering if word is going to get out and yes please, sign me right the fuck up.

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So there I was, minding my own business when my brain decided to be like:

Wouldn’t it be fan-fucking-tastic if through I.M.P. shenanigans on Earth, there ended up being a Blitz and Striker VS Millie and Moxxie episode of the Newlywed Game that aired on TV??  I think Moxxie might actually cut a bitch [that bitch obviously being Striker] if he ended up getting more questions right about Blitz than Moxxie was getting about Millie.  Heh. :D

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Popping on for a hot minute to say that:

.....I need an AU now where Blitz gets kidnapped and Striker ends up saving his ass.  I just.  I need it.