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sentientxlena · 2 years ago

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was it a chemical romance?

Okay, so I’m writing this completely unnecessary post a bit out of boredom and a bit because I’ve some thoughts that live rent free in my brain and I want to get them out there because maybe they will be interesting to some people in the fandom lol. I’ve seen a lot of theories about Gerard/Frank relationship I thought - well, maybe I would just do one big masterpost on this that would not be a strict theory but rather a timeline of some sort (consider me a historian or whatever lol or just a very bored human being). I still want to be respectful as much as possible because these are real people with families and stuff and I think implying on them having a thing now is just completely and utterly wrong as they’re clearly best friends living their happiest lives. However, the past was at times very intense with the things they did and though we will never know what really happened, we might as well just have all the things that did happen noted down. The judgement is yours. And please do take all of this with a grain of salt. This is just for fun and out of boredom. Ready? Here we go.

Also I’m not a native speaker so please do forgive me any grammar mistakes I’ll make while writing this.

Okay, so it all started in 2001. As we all know MCR as a concept was a direct aftermath of 9/11. That made Gerard want to start a band and make a significant change in the world by music. This year is also when Gerard met Frank, probably through mutuals in NJ music scene (that was blooming at that time quite vividly). Frank was then in Pencey Prep and he was signed to eyeball records, also the eyeball house was where many people form the scene met and so before even joining MCR, Frank was hanging out with the rest of MCR guys there quite often.

As we all know Frank had instantly become a #1 fan of the band, appreciated the concept, the music, everything so much, so he eventually became a part of the band.

Around same time of meeting MCR guys, Frank also met his future wife Jamia, also at the eyeball house (he mentions that in one interview, I can find later if you want) and after a year or so he convinced her to like him back (he said something along those lines). That’s the first timeline thing because I’ve seen many times people were writing that they were high school sweethearts, which is not true. They met shortly after graduation according to Frank. He described meeting Jamia as instantaneous love at first sight but it wasn’t mutual at first (not that it matters now lol).

Anyway during recording Bullets and after Frank joining MCR, Jamia was definitely hanging out with the group (as seen in this oldie but goldie footage from the studio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfXhb0eKj-8&ab_channel=nadarecording - Jamia is there, the short haired bleached blonde girl). We don’t know if they were already dating back then or just hanging out, Frank trying to “convince her to like him” but she was in the loop. So from that point on Frank was kinda invested in a relationship. But did it stop him from kissing other man? Oh no. Let’s go through the timeline. Some of the actions are pretty innocent, friend like and don’t mean much probably. Some of them are well, you know.

2003 - in this video if you listen clearly you can hear Gerard saying “I love you” to Frank, and Frank replies “I love you too” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ9KQnbVg5Q&ab_channel=JonCheeseisrad

However, earlier in this video Gerard says Frank and Mikey are his two little brothers and he’s very drunk so I wouldn’t really count it as something outside just being best friends.

2004 - I’m not okay video and kiss on the cheek. I assume I don’t have to link or explain this one.

MCR live at Vintage Vinyl concert, Gerard’s sexual comments to Frank, starts around minute 22: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D2ClVSO-zQ&t=1321s&ab_channel=VintageVinylRecords

I can imagine this to be just there as a joke or to piss people off but what’s the point?

2005 - Conan show, a kiss on the lips - Well, that’s pretty self explanatory. The footage was supposed to be cut for commercial break and then this happened. It seems very casual and domestic, kinda like it happened all the time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15GEURyp5tk&ab_channel=gerard607

Yearbook “2005″ inteview - there’s nothing really that unusual about this besides that Frank’s sitting on Gerard’s lap for most of the interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnPimdKcvKM&ab_channel=TeyanaJoyKent

2005 I’m not okay performance - gentle kiss on the cheek from Frank - it can be seen here, around 30 seconds in during the performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX6GBLBR0R8&ab_channel=97XVideos

2006, May - it’s the year Frank proposed to Jamia in LA during recording of the black parade. That’s worth mentioning because it shows that he was thinking of her seriously and they really were planning a future together.

2007 - that was A YEAR. The year that really nothing makes much sense but let’s go. We got some stage performances that to this day people are hysterical about. Meaning THE KISS. But besides this one famous kiss, there were a few others. Before it happened though:

Feb 5, 2007 - Frank married Jamia in Vegas, where, quote, smelly Elvis made her his wife, taken from this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CZnAxKSp6sW/

Bear in mind, it’s not the traditional wedding we’ve seen the pictures from. That happened a YEAR later, on March 9, 2008, evidence from here: http://www.imnotokay.net/my-chemical-romance/news-read/55/

And not even a month after the Vegas wedding we had this:

Feb 23, 2007 - no audio clip where Frank initiates the kiss with Gerard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t87rxWRJyo&ab_channel=81Ixia

Download 2007 - during Not Okay, where Gerard stops and says “let me kiss this guy/kid (can’t really tell what he said exactly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cxCEGtcWm8&ab_channel=T.HiggsReviews

and finally July 28, 2007 - the famous frerard kiss, Gerard initiated it, Frank went completely in for this with wrapping arms around and stuff. you’ve probably seen it a thousand time but here you go, just for the record: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqe5GTmTb7U&ab_channel=nazunyan%21

“Magic, fireworks - I was actually getting even with him” comments from Gerard after the kiss, a fan asked question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_66elKndKk4&t=113s&ab_channel=Kat

You clearly can see the chemistry they had on stage, something that is rather hard to explain, quite often teasing each other. Besides the kiss there is some more footage where they are (mostly Frank) all over each other. Frank rubbing against Gerard, or playing guitar near his crotch, or Gerard putting his hand under Frank’s shirt. You can easily google the images/videos. 2007 was a weird year for this band, clearly. Huge success and tour after the release of the Black Parade. Pressure, constant touring, Frank getting anxiety and over medicating (which he only revealed a few years ago about this period in his life).

And as they kissed on the 28 July, on 22 August, they fought. And that’s the fight that to this day I don’t fully get and no one from the band commented on that or explained. To be fair, maybe no one ever asked them. You can see it here, during the Sharpest Lives: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB1GveE7By0&ab_channel=TheAcademyIsMyBeautifulRomance

It cannot be clearly seen what’d happened but it’s quite early on in the performance. The concert was televised and you can clearly hear that Gerard is not in his best shape vocally speaking. His voice is quite raspy, he either pulled his vocal strings or he’s having some kind of infection. This whole performance looks like he’s fighting with his voice capacity and pressure must have been huge. The crowd also didn’t help being absolutely dead (perhaps because of having fucking chairs at the rock concert lol). Anyway you can see the fight in the video, and the aftermath of this. I’ll leave to your judgement what Frank tried to do after embracing Gerard but it resulted in Gerard being absolutely pissed, kicking the mic stand and throwing stuff around the stage after the song ended. For the rest of the concert they didn’t have any kind of interaction.

September 3, 2007 - after the last concert in pro rev tour in Colorado, Gerard married Lyn-Z. They knew each other for like a month and a half and so it was a very quick decision back then but clearly a good one, since they still are together after all these years.

24 October 2007 - the Hoboken show. I’m including this because to me it’s quite important one. During Not Okay instead of “trust me”, Frank says “lie to me” and Gerard shortly after shows a middle finger up in the air for no reason while still singing. Before playing “I don’t love you” Gerard introduces the song as “this song is about not loving somebody” and looking in the direction where Frank stands (hard to tell if actally it’s said to him but he’s pointing in that direction). Also during Prison he makes the blowjob gesture towards him. Idk but this show is one of a mess emotionally speaking and it ends with Gerard singing Cancer. Guess who’s the only one who didn’t leave the stage and stayed to watch him perform? Of course it’s Frank. He sits there all miserable looking watching Gerard sing. And Gerard stops singing through the part “know that I will never marry”. It may be nothing but I’ve always found it a bit... heartbreaking? Idk.

now, i don’t know which year this is, but I’m guessing it’s late 2007/2008. I’m guessing that because from what I can see they both wear their wedding rings. Interviewer asks whether Gerard sleeps naked, and Frank replies: yes, he does. You did when you slept with me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWPDm6mTpgU&ab_channel=TeyanaJoyKent

He could have been teasing him or just taking a piss but it seems like Gerard is quite uncomfortable though he’s giggling nervously throughout the interview.

It seems like the year 2007 was a bit “vegas” meaning - what happened in 2007, stayed in 2007 because after Gerard and Frank got both married (meaning Frank’s 2nd wedding), it seems like whatever they had for each other, ended. 2008 is the year the TBP tour ended and they all went for a bit of a break but not for long.

But the timeline doesn’t end here. While there wasn’t any sexual/romantic encounters after the year 2007, some people think they still thought of each other, either as a broken love that could never face the light of day, or a chemical romance that ended because it wouldn’t work anyway. To the point of them writing about each other/some aspects of the romance/relationship in their solo careers (mostly Frank though). There are also theories about Gerard’s wedding and how Frank reacted to that but since they are not really confirmed and don’t sound very probable, I won’t mention them. That’s just one of the thing we will never know.

In their later live performances during Danger Days era you can still see bits of the stage chemistry going on at times. From that period I would like to mention just one performance that is very, very odd looking. It’s Gerard’s The Carpenters cover of Superstar, sung at the Newcastle show in 2011: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLOt_6_6dWs&ab_channel=HelenaRevenge

You can watch it there. Frank’s reaction is very... nostalgic? Also Gerard changed the lyrics of the original song, so it says “your guitar makes such a sad sad sound”, in the original it’s “sweet and clear”. As was stated by Gerard on twitter, he used to warm up to the Carpenters while recording TBP and also it was a song he sang before he recorded Cancer. Maybe it brought some memories? Maybe it meant something more. https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/gerard-way-my-chemical-romance-carpenters-superstar-cover-6874817/

Now I would like to add a few more things including solo career material.

Though Conventional Weapons really saw the light of day after the breakup, they are older than Danger Days songs. They were written around 2009 but didn’t go well with the idea of the concept album so they were recorded and set aside, until after the breakup. I would like to mention the lyrics of the one particular song, that to me has always sounded as a song about, well... gay romance? “Burn bright” is what we’re talking about.

Interestingly enough when you compare it to the Frank’s solo song “Blood infections” (a single from Stomachaches album) the lyrics seem to resonate a bit with each other.

I wanna try I wanna live all night And burn out bright

(blood infections)

So give me all you've got

I can take it

We walked alone in your city lights

Did you make it?

We lit the fire and it's burning bright

(burn bright)

those two songs do really feel like they intertwine together lyrically. Mentions of burning together, nights, light, a lot of parallels between them.

And when you compare the Blood Infections to Millions by Gerard Way (stated by him that it is about MCR), you get another maybe intentional, maybe not intertwine.

I wanna take your hand Make you understand my side

(blood infections)

You don’t understand We don’t hold hands

(millions)

The timeline makes sense I guess because Stomachaches was released in August 2014 and Millions in September 2014. But of course it might have been a coincidence. Also in the Millions you get another reference to The Smiths song “ William, It Was Really Nothing.”. The song is about a love triangle between two men and a woman. Do I really need to add more?

The last song that I think is worth mentioning is the one off of the Barriers, Frank’s third solo album. You could probably find more reference to MCR (such as in the Young and Doomed, but I think it’s mostly a joke with the “oh wait that’s the other guy” line) or look for connections but I find it with most of the Frank’s material that it would be too far-fetched. However, with Medicine Square Garden, it’s different. It’s a direct reference to MCR’s concert at Madison Square Garden, finishing The Black Parade tour on May 9, 2008. Frank was heavily using anti-anxiety medication at that time as the pressure of constantly touring and being on a big band wave at that time was too overwhelming. Perhaps there were also other factors, such as private life, being away from the loved ones etc. Frank described it as the best and worst moments of his life. If you read through the lyrics, they really are telling something. It could have been a song about Jamia (as many on the Stomachaches album for example) but the relationship dynamic described in the song really doesn’t fit.

“Your kiss is filled with fire It charred my lips and my sense of pride The way we twist and twine “

I don’t think a wife’s kiss would char the sense of pride, right?

“Love is blind, it took both my eyes I don't mind at all And some might say that better days Are on their way, but they're not “

Also “love is blind” mostly refers to the relationship that are not fit to be.

“You brought me a reason to live, I traded my soul I tasted apocalypse and I needed more As you kill me, make me ill baby, please I never wanted a curse on my tongue 'til you “

Again, tase of apocalypse sounds like something that wasn’t in the end good but was tempting. Something that was born out of desire or chemistry. And also the lyrics about curse on the tongue don’t sound like something that could be written about a wife but rather about a failed romance. Frank also described Medicine Square Garden as one of the most important songs on the album. There’s so much more to this song, but I won’t analyse it now, just look up the lyrics.

Now, as I’m about to wrap up (this post is way to long already lol), I know there are a lot of other micro “moments” there that are memes now (such as Frank mentioning not okay line in “Young and Doomed” as “is it because he fucks his best friend?” - honestly why did he say that, I mean, of ALL the things he could have said he said just that LOL) or the newest “don’t get excited” from the European tour when Gerard hugged Frank. You know, they still remember for some reason, something that was supposed to be anti-homophobia message, right? The “homophobia is gay” t-shirt, and “pansy” guitar Frank played, being a clear reference to offensive slur that I read as reclaiming it by putting in on the guitar. There is also ftwillz poetry and myspace account and LeATHERMOUTH and Death Spells songs that I could analyse but I won’t (at least for now).

So even if the relationship was indescribable at that time, even if it didn’t have a name, there was some chemistry - maybe it was just on stage when the adrenaline kicked in. Maybe it was off stage also. We will never know but my point is - as you grow old and as you age, you get to understand that in life you have a ton of different types of relationships. Some don’t have to be named or labelled. Some are just chemical romances that didn’t have the chance or if they had they would be disastrous and would break the friendships. They might have felt good in the moment but wouldn’t have worked as a serious thing. And you only get to understand that with time passing by. It seems that in the end it was some sort of chemical romance.

I personally never understood the dynamic of 2007, having girlfriends/wives and pulling the shit on stage but, you know, there is a concept of polyamorous relationship? Or maybe it was just messy, and weird, and hard to explain and never really talked through and caused a lot of trouble and pain, and misunderstanding? In Frank’s solo material there is certainly some dose of guilt in a few songs potentially about his wife. We obviously didn’t know what happened off stage. We can only wonder. Whatever happened stays in the past. They seem to be the happiest in their lives now, having the life experience they had, after the long break they’re still able to perform together and it clearly feels organic and good. And that’s the best thing we as fans could get after all those years. So, that’s all folks, I hope you enjoyed. What am I even doing with my life at this point, I probably have some MCR worms in my brain and they slowly are taking over.

If you have any questions, my inbox is open.

#my chemical romance #frerard #mcr

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