#villain speech given! ehehe

[the-haunted-office]

🚨+ for Billy: a monologue about dental appointments or ATMs

Send 🚨+ any subject for my muse to make a villain monologue about that.

"Dental appointments, pffft. Is there anything that is more symbolic of our capitalistic times? Separating teeth from our medical coverage? It's pathetic. Well. They do the same thing with our eyeballs and everybody knows the whole insurance industry and medical industry is a scam, so put them both together? Scammo times a million, hello!"

Billy lets out a huge, indignant snort as he rolls his eyes and puts on his ridiculously huge character gloves with a snap.

"It's just another symptom of what's wrong with the whole system, though, isn't it? Dental appointments. Making us all make them. Making us all... come in and... sit down and just... sit there and wait. We have to get there on time, don't we? We have to sit there and sit there and sit there and wait, while the dentists take their sweet as candy time, otherwise they'll charge us the full copay anyway, but you know what?"

As he's saying all this, his frown disappears and he rolls over a small surgical cart full of metal tools. Some look relatively harmless, like tiny screwdrivers you might use to fix your glasses. Others like more a bit more menacing and sharp and surgical.

"Not anymore. Mwahahahaha~"

Billy laughs as she takes his goggles down off his forehead and puts them down over his eyes, completing his transformation into Dr. Horrible, oooOOOOOoooooOOOooooo.

He moves his hands over to the tray he just pulled over, wriggling his fingers ominously. Which tool is he going to choose? For what purpose is he going to use it? How horrible is this going to get?

His right hand descend. His gloved fingers close around one of the tools. His hand rises. In that hand is...

...a toothbrush.

"That's right folks. Brush your damn teeth. Just... brush your teeth. Twice a day. And floss after every meal. It's not that difficult. Do all that, and you won't need to see a stupid dentist. Just... skip the whole facade. Kinda messed up how they scrape around your gums with a metal needle for thirty minutes and then blame you when they bleed anyway, right? Amateurs."

[turnaboutdespair]

trial 2; antihero - nomi - re: nayo, merlot v. briefly

This was interesting. Abbey had all but confessed, especially given his most recent, completely guilty-by-all-appearances outburst. And yet... Nayo. Poor guy. Nomi almost felt sorry for him. She coughs into Merlot's handkerchief once before smiling.

"You know... as much as I appreciate the idealism of the fantasy genre, I do think this is one of the problems, euhhh... people read a book-- or watch too much anime, perhaps-- and think heroic sacrifices work in real life. It's a bit childish, isn't it? I suppose it's nice to imagine... but it's just not like that at all, is it?"

She lets out a soft laugh, one that's a bit dry rather than her usual put-on eeriness. Maybe this is a topic she feels genuinely about.

"Mister Ganaiyo, have you considered what might happen if we're incorrect in our voting? Don't worry, because I have... err, quite extensively! Shall I list the options? The chances of the one who was voted wrong taking the punishment on their own... only features in a few of them, after all. Do you think it would be so easy as that? Euhhhh... perhaps we'll all die, and Mister Rhodes will go free? Or perhaps someone will be randomly selected to die, not you, condemning an innocent... or perhaps we'll all be injured in some way! Or perhaps something will happen to all of our loved ones... or perhaps you'll be executed along with Mister Rhodes, rendering your sacrifice pointless. Shall I go on? I've made quite a list."

Of course they had. Nomi was nothing if not an extensive over-planner-- though she hadn't thought her constant preparation for the worst-case would come up so quickly.

"You just don't know. And yet you want us to take that risk? All of our lives, potentially, for one who murdered a man in cold blood? ...I am shocked one so heroic as you would insinuate that Mister Ironwood's life is worth less than his murderer's, too!"

A slightly trembling hand raises to her mouth, covering it, though her wide, pale eyes are still quite visible.

"Though my most pitiful existence is cursed, the existence of one who would take another's life is perhaps moreso. I won't risk it. Euhhhh-- maybe you're right, that people here are acting more selfishly and villainously than others, but I'd say that... it's you, right? The one doing that? Eheh... well."

Their tirade done, they wave a hand and then turn away. If they were going to be deemed evil for such a speech, then so be it! They'd already been falsely voted for no reason in the previous trial, so they supposed they'd better step into the role with pride! Especially if no one else would bother to say it. It was fine with them-- all the better for the one already-cursed to be so rude. ...And talking like they were coming out of a novel was a little fun, they had to admit.

Instead of focusing on the proceedings anymore, they turn to Merlot next to them and pat him on the shoulder gently. there there buddy.