#villain speech given! ehehe

[the-haunted-office]

🚨+ for Billy: a monologue about dental appointments or ATMs

Send 🚨+ any subject for my muse to make a villain monologue about that.

"Dental appointments, pffft. Is there anything that is more symbolic of our capitalistic times? Separating teeth from our medical coverage? It's pathetic. Well. They do the same thing with our eyeballs and everybody knows the whole insurance industry and medical industry is a scam, so put them both together? Scammo times a million, hello!"

Billy lets out a huge, indignant snort as he rolls his eyes and puts on his ridiculously huge character gloves with a snap.

"It's just another symptom of what's wrong with the whole system, though, isn't it? Dental appointments. Making us all make them. Making us all... come in and... sit down and just... sit there and wait. We have to get there on time, don't we? We have to sit there and sit there and sit there and wait, while the dentists take their sweet as candy time, otherwise they'll charge us the full copay anyway, but you know what?"

As he's saying all this, his frown disappears and he rolls over a small surgical cart full of metal tools. Some look relatively harmless, like tiny screwdrivers you might use to fix your glasses. Others like more a bit more menacing and sharp and surgical.

"Not anymore. Mwahahahaha~"

Billy laughs as she takes his goggles down off his forehead and puts them down over his eyes, completing his transformation into Dr. Horrible, oooOOOOOoooooOOOooooo.

He moves his hands over to the tray he just pulled over, wriggling his fingers ominously. Which tool is he going to choose? For what purpose is he going to use it? How horrible is this going to get?

His right hand descend. His gloved fingers close around one of the tools. His hand rises. In that hand is...

...a toothbrush.

"That's right folks. Brush your damn teeth. Just... brush your teeth. Twice a day. And floss after every meal. It's not that difficult. Do all that, and you won't need to see a stupid dentist. Just... skip the whole facade. Kinda messed up how they scrape around your gums with a metal needle for thirty minutes and then blame you when they bleed anyway, right? Amateurs."