#view everything from a realistic pov
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🎥 with ani? I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
OH MY LORDY LORDY ANI MAKES THE BEST SEX TAPES CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE (pornstar!ani in a different universe I'm not kidding)
also mentions of hardcore porn below please don't take anything I write super seriously, I'm just being gross <3
anakin x fem!reader 18+ below the cut nsfw emoji ask game
🎥 filming or making a sexy movie
✧ anakins a freak as i discuss in every single post I make about my baby boy
✧ and when he pulls out a camera and suggests the idea it doesn't even shock you. i mean at first, you think he just wants to film something vanilla until he brings out the props. cuffs, a bit of rope and a gag. he wants to make a hardcore porno with you, in the grossest way possible.
✧ he wants to get the angles right and everything making sure to put your body on display for when he rewatches it.
✧ the shitty camera quality really brings out the porno vibes in it and anakin loves it, the more realistic the better I guess. he likes to record you sucking him off while he talks dirty to you. (bonus points if you got messy makeup on) that's his favourite thing to wank to at a later date.
✧ next he ties you up against the headboard and films every inch of your gorgeous body. maybe you're gagged too if you're into that. he takes a few different shots of him fucking you. pov shots and from the side. when he watches it later on he loves pretending like it's actually happening. seeing you from different angles is also a treat for him. seeing his pretty girl from another point of view is his favourite. feeds those perverted desires even more.
✧ when he's done fucking you dumb and has you drooling all over the pillows he records the cum leaking out of your swollen pussy. breeding kink go brrrrrr
✧ speaking of jizz, he's definitely gonna give you a face load of his cum and take a few photos of the shiny liquid coating your face. if you get lucky he'll set up the camera to watch him lick it gently from your cheeks. it's absolutely disgusting but kinda hot as well
✧ anakin would also never refuse you if you requested to make one where he was being submissive. he'll let you do whatever your heart desires to make him look like a porn star for you. i mean he kind of owes it to you after the shit he's recorded you doing.
✧ when you find the time to you make anakin into the most submissive man in the world. you film yourself sitting on his face and edging him till he's whimpering, drooling and calling you mommy. he'd be a perfect twinky-ass sub for you <3
✧ even though i made this super pOrNy i believe that he'd also film soft sex with you too. that shit makes him horny and feel happy. it reminds both of you how much you love each other when you're apart and it can be really sweet when you catch those intimate moments on camera. especially the quiet "I love you's" you exchange throughout it.
✧ after you finish filming part of your aftercare is watching the video back and giggling together before falling asleep.
#me talking out my ass#this is one was extra gross sorry yall#anakin skywalker smut#anakin smut#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker x reader#star wars smut#ani wani#sexy ani wani#emoji ask game
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Ok but I wanna talk about Portia in that trailer and the absolute pride in her voice when she's taking to Penelope.
I personally love Portia's character and how she's been a foil to Violet in that she's a loving mother, but she's also a realist about the society they live in. She's a tough love, no nonsense type of mother. She's making sure everyone survives as a top priority, if she has to be mean to get them there than so be it.
She's been at odds with Penelope the last two seasons mainly because of their different views. Portia is a realist, while Penelope still has dreams like most 17-18 year olds. Portia, in her own way, has been trying to bring Penelope back to reality.
An example of this to me is the scene where Portia finds out Penelope has been writing to Colin. The first thing she says "I declare Penelope," in a softer tone and when Penelope declares Colin her friend that tone becomes more strict. She tells Penelope, "Colin Bridgerton is no more your friend than I am the next Catherine the Great." Is it mean? Yup. But looking at it through Portia's eyes there's some truth to it. Their society doesn't allow friendships between single men and women. Colin and Penelope writing to one another without being engaged or even a proper courtship was actually very inappropriate. Portia probably does understand that there really isn't anything inappropriate in those letters and they are actually friends but she also knows no one else would see it that way. If she wanted she would have been well within her rights to go to Anthony about it and raise a fuss. She needs Penelope to see this too.
Now come season 3 in Portia's pov Penelope is finally taking the marriage mart seriously. She's got herself a suitor who is a titled lord, and Portia is proud of her. No more silly little fantasies of love. Meanwhile Penelope is probably weirded out with some other mixed feelings by this because this isn't what she is used to from her mother.
Makes me excited to see where their relationship goes. Because honestly, Penelope probably inherited the most from her mother, but she's in denial about it. It mostly comes out in Lady Whistledown, but that sharp wit and scheming mind is Portia. Penelope will actually fall into Portia's line of thinking when she's backed into a corner. When she saved both Colin and Eloise, she knew they would be hurt, and she's sorry about that, but she also knows they'll be safe. That is Portia's school of thought 101.
I've also been wanting to see how they approach the big heart to heart between the two of them. I want them to get into a screaming match that breaks down into them sincerely talking to one another. Penelope's confidence is supposed to get a boost this season, and we know she's not afraid to subtley barb at her mother. I hope they have Penelope confront Portia at some point, forcing everything out in the open.
#bridgerton#penelope featherington#portia featherington#mother daughter relationship#like mother like daughter#bridgerton season 3
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Hi, I'm just struggling to understand your pov: from what I've gleaned of your blog, and people on social media who stand with Israel and also want safety for Palestinians (@rootsmetals on ig specifically), you guys don't believe any peace is possible with Hamas in power (which I can get behind, Hamas doesn't seem to be acting out of care for Palestinians). Hamas breaks ceasefire deals and refuses to release hostages, I get that. At the same time, Israel is holding so many Palestinians as hostages and in prisons. Israel has the backing of the US, and there are videos of their drone strikes against Palestinian kids playing football. All the terrible stuff. What do you think should be done with that? The atrocities and terrorism Israelis are going through is terrible and upsetting. At the same time, I feel like Israel has the upper hand here, and I worry a two-state solution (or whatever solution) won't treat Palestinians like equals (like, I'm worried anti-palestinian racism will systematized). I don't know what I'm trying to ask. Would asking, "Do you condemn the IDF," be antisemitic? I guess I'm just frustrated that from what yall are saying, the onus is on Hamas to relinquish power and end it all, and I don't see yall devoting the same energy to holding the Israeli military and the Israeli government accountable (maybe you think it goes without saying). Sorry if it's not coherent, it's late, and my brain is fried from reading.
Hello!
Thank you for taking the time to read and try to understand instead of leaping to conclusions, it is much appreciated.
You are right in your understanding of my views.
This post will be long but I do encourage you to read it all as it covers everything with nuance and math. The last bit of this post is the most important of it all too.
To answer your questions surronding the IDF
1. Your question surronding holding those in the IDF accountable:
The Israeli government has done bad things and does deserve to be held accountable. What I personally think is that individuals in the IDF responsible for war crimes need to be arrested and criminally tried in an international court of law.
2. Your statement about Israel holding Palestinian prisoners:
The majority of Palestinians prisoners are those who have committed crimes in Israel or have conspired to commit a crime.
There are Palestinians held who have not done anything to warrant being imprisoned, and obviously any number higher than 1 is bad, and there are far more than just 1.
Realistically because I am not Israeli so don't have any experience directly with Israeli politics on the ground, I cannot say realistically what should happen, however ideally what I would want to happen is for policies and guidelines to be updated, and for the updates to be enforced, ideally with, I'm not sure the right word specifically, but like an overseeing committee to give periodal reports to make sure everything is held to a high standard.
3. Your question of if asking "do you condemn the IDF" is antisemitic
It depends on the context. If you see a random jew or Israeli online and ask them, then yeah it is. This is because you don't really see people messaging Chinese people and asking if they support the CCP. If you see a blog engaging in discussions surrounding the conflict, then it's more of a gray territory. If the blog has said it before, then from the perspective of the blogger, you either didn't care to look through their blog or did and think they're lying, which can be interpreted as antisemitism if they assume your motivation for either of those is antisemitism, however it could very well be that you didn't look hard enough on their blog and didn't have any antisemitism in your intentions, but the blogger could still very well interpret it that way.
Do I myself condemn the idf? With certain actions yes and other actions no. I will not condemn the IDF for defending Israel after Oct 7th. From a logical standpoint, the Israeli government has a responsibility to keep its citizens safe, and a facet of doing so is the IDF doing things. It would be a deservice to Israeli civilians if nothing was done to prevent them being killed. From an emotional standpoint, I have family in Israel. I want them protected and safe. I cannot put into words how much I would mourn for them if they were killed.
Do I agree with every action the IDF has taken before Oct 7th and afterwards? Fuck no. The war has gone on too long. They are trying to get rid of hamas and whilst i do agree with that goal, too many civilian lives have been lost for me to want what they are doing to continue. I can understand logically why they are continuing. They have an obligation to Israel's safety, which includes wiping out Hamas. And obviously those in charge still think going ahead is worth it which I disagree with.
4. Your question of what do I consider it instead of genocide
I consider it at this stage the sad affects of regular war as well as war crimes. Not every action taken by the IDF is a war crime, hence the regular war, but they have committed a number of war crimes, hence that part inclined in my answer.
Whilst we will truly never know the full death toll until the war has ended and a secondary impartial group, so neither Israel nor hamas, have tallied the death toll, we will never know. Hamas includes combatant deaths in their death toll.
Because we do not have 100% accurate numbers to work with, i do not know which to go off of. To break down the various different numbers
Netanyahu says it is a 1:1 civilian to combatant death ratio, so for every combatant killed, one civilian has died which if true, is genuinely impressive in any war, and therefore doesn't doesn't constitute genocide. Like if this is true, militaries around the world need to be taking notes from Israel, that's how impressive it is.
To go with the top numbers from both sides from biased sources on both sides, al Jazeera says that as of 4:30pm gaza time Oct 25th, 42,847 Palestinians total have died. The most recent release from Israel of hamas fighters dead is 18,000.
Based on that, minuses Israel's numbers of hamas fighters killed from total death toll, that leaves us with 24,847 civilians killed.
If we round up to 25,000 civilians so the math is easier, that is a 25:18 civilians death toll roughly. Scaled down to compare with the 1:1 ratio Netanyahu states, that goes to 12.5:9 ratio then to a 6.25:4.5, then a 3.125:2.25 ratio. Further scaling down goes to (following the rules of rounding as it has too many decimals to work with)
1.56:1.125
To further round for nice measures, still following the rules of rounding
1.5:1.2
So slightly more civilians killed than hamas fighters per hamas fighter killed.
To put the numbers prior to ratios as a percentage,
Netanyahu says 50% of those killed are civilians
The biased numbers from both sides says a 57.99%, but we will round it to 58% of those killed are civilians.
According to a UN press release which i will link at the end, taking data from multiple wars, the average death percentage and ratio is 9:1 or 90%. That is 90% of deaths being civilians or 9 civilians killed for every one combatant.
According to the math, Israel's actions are still well under the average death ratio in a war.
Now, genocide does have more factors than just numbers. Intent has to be factored in.
Whilst there have been some israeli officials who have voiced their own personal opinions which are disgusting and say that they personally wish to kill all Palestinians, this has not been reflected in any official decisions released to the public.
If I say an opinion, it does not mean the company I work for also thinks that. To bring it close to home for me, a politician of the Act party, which make up 1/3 of the coalition government here in NZ, want to bring in a bill to overhaul our founding document which will harm Māori, our indigenous people. The two other parties in government have said they do not support it. Ergo, just because David smellmore and his punchable face want it, does not mean the NZ government shares his intent. To bring it back to Israel, just because some people, most who have no power in regards to the actions taken by the IDF made some disgusting social media posts, does not mean that intent is in the IDFs actions.
With all of that said, that is why I do not currently believe it is a genocide.
If evidence comes out in the future where it shows genocidal intent or the hamas fighter deaths being far far far lesser to the point where the ratio is more than 9:1, then I will 100% change my tune and call it a genocide.
The data currently does not show that it is one.
That being said, it not being a genocide doesn't mean that its not terrible or doesn't deserve attention, as it does, it very much does. I just believe in accurately labeling things. Something can be bad and not be the worst thing ever and also deserve attention and activism.
5: what should happen to the houses?
Realistically speaking, it is too complicated to force Israelis from homes one occupied by Palestinians. Some homes were taken by force, some were sold to Israelis (and jews prior to Israel's existence in the modern day). Records will have been lost and I think it's unfair, but not equally unfair, for an Israeli family to be kicked out of a house rightfully purchased as well as for an Israeli family to remain in a home wrongly occupied.
I think that the Israeli government should commit to helping to rebuild Gaza in general, and also to build new houses to house everyone. If it can be proved that a house was wrongfully taken from a Palestinian, they should get the option of their old house or a new house in a different location, and if they chose the old house, the Israeli family should get moved to a new house. Otherwise an issue of homelessness could occur.
Whilst it might not seem entirely focused on justice, as well it isn't, it is focused on the least harm for everyone. Because harm cauaea resentment and I want peace. Sometimes, things can't be idealistic.
6. Onto your last question about why zionists don't often talk about the Israeli government's wrongdoings
That is because there is not a safe space for us to do so. Literally.
I have tried before and I just got asks from antizionists saying that I actually didn't care and was lying to seem more "reasonable" or like a good person. I also got people assuming I was then an antizionist and got a few people who were quite surprised that I still want israel to exist who sent me nasty hate anons too.
If more people allowed for jews and Israelis to talk about the wrong doings of the Israeli government safely, more of us would do so.
But, we often opt out of doing so in public and instead only do so in more private spaces. I have spoken many times about things I dislike that the IDF and Israeli government have done off of tumblr and in a more private space, and I know so many other jews and Israelis who also have done the same.
It is much easier for me to cope mentally with antisemitism as I just brush 99% of it off as some fuckward online who has no real affect on my offline life than it is to cope with people sending mean comments to me because they don't believe I actually believe what I say I do or have these false preconceptions of my views because of a handful of posts.
I do want to again say that it is so refreshing and nice to have someone genuinely ask instead of sending hate. Because you genuinely asked, I gave you my thoughts on the wrong doings of the Israeli government. If you had instead sent hate, I would have given you a half arsed replied instead.
Source for the UN thing
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Welp, here’s another Mouthwashing post bc I have some thoughts™️ that are definitely controversial
TW: Mentions of rape, miscarriage, forced pregnancy, abortion, suicide and basically everything involving Anya’s assault at the hands of Jimmy
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I don’t think that AUs where Anya keeps the baby are bad. I think they’re unrealistic given the context of the story and the fact that they are stranded in outer space (and without medical supplies). Realistically, even if she had survived her suicide attempt, the stress of being stranded on the Tuplar most likely would have caused her to miscarry. That being said, in the context of Anya’s character I don’t think it’s an unreasonable assumption. She is shown as a kind, playful, compassionate character when we see her from Curly’s POV and it’s not unreasonable to assume that in different circumstances she may have wanted to have the child. I feel like the decision could have gone either way, given what we know about her. While most people agree she would have terminated the pregnancy, and while that is a valid interpretation, I feel as though the fandom at large is refusing to acknowledge the nuance of the situation. that’s not to say that every AU where Anya keeps the baby is masterfully written, however, having the only acceptable happy ending AU be one were Anya gets an abortion misses the point of her character entirely. When Jimmy assaults Anya, he removes her agency completely. I find this ironic in the sense that the majority of the fan base has decided that the only way Anya could truly be happy is to not have the baby. To me this seems like just another way agency is stripped from her. I feel like the fandom ignores that aspect in favor of chewing our people with differing views on Anya’s assault and the resulting pregnancy. As an assault victim myself who was in a similar situation to Anya, it saddens me to see that people are sticking to this one dimensional idea of what Anya’s happiness should look like. Anyways, I would love to hear Tumblr’s thoughts on the matter as opposed to Twitter’s. I would just like to have an open discussion about this without a slew of harassment following…

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Give You Blue
Chapter 8: How It Begins
Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)
cw: switching POVs (reader is 2nd person, Eren is third) angst, fluff, language
Word Count: ~3.5k
Previous Chapter | Epilogue
Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist
Summary: The conclusion of the series Give You Blue. Author’s Note: Seriously, I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this through the end. I wanted to write a story that was realistic, relatable, and romantic, and I hope that in the end, I accomplished that. I wasn’t sure anyone would want to read a story like this, so I’m so grateful to all of you who have. I appreciate every single one of you so so much. I’ll definitely miss this series, but I’m also relieved to be give our main characters some rest LOL. Stay tuned for the Epilogue, coming out in the next week or so!
Eren fingers are entwined with yours, hands resting on the center console of his car, windows rolled down halfway to let the passing breeze sweep through his hair. Every so often, he’ll glance at you, smiling, sunglasses covering his eyes as he drives the familiar route towards the bridge between Paradis and Marley. The radio plays songs you’ve listened with him before, during all those little hangouts inside his room. Choruses and verses he’s demonstrated for you on his guitar, impressing you with his skills. He hums each tune happily, thumb tapping against your skin in tandem with the rhythm.
Nearly three months ago, you were in the passenger seat, that time in Reiner’s car, driving the same road, but in the opposite direction, observing the ocean blue with tears in your eyes and a broken heart. Wondering what would happen next after losing what seemed like everything to you. Because Reiner was everything to you. Was.
Now, you see your future in a clearer light. Instead of storms or perpetual rain, you envision sunshine and bright skies, filling you with warmth that has since slipped from you since your breakup. You’re no longer lost; rather, you’re wandering to something new, something different. Something wonderful. And you can’t help imagining Eren on the other side of that, welcoming you with open arms. Still, the journey isn’t over. In fact, it’s just beginning. And before you reach your destination, there’s obstacles you need to face to make it there in one piece.
Halfway into the drive, you realize where he’s taking you. It’s his little paradise he told you about before, the special beach he goes to for an escape. It’s my super-secret spot. You have to be really special to know about it. I’ll show you this one day. You’ll love it. Even then, several weeks ago, Eren invited you into his world, deeming you special enough to share it. He trusts you, is giving his all to you. And you wish your heart wasn’t so damaged still, so that you could give him the same. The love that he deserves.
He pulls into a spot right off the shore, letting go of your hand to put the car in park. “We’re here,” he announces, grinning. At the trunk, he pulls out two blankets, handing you one to carry. He leads you down weathered stairs towards an alcove hidden away from the main beach. The sand is soft against your feet, sinking in with each step. The distinct melody of waves crashing on the shore is soothing to your ears. It really is paradise, especially with Eren guiding the way, turning back occasionally to flash that winning smile at you. Eventually, he settles for a spot far enough from the shore to where the water doesn’t reach, laying the blanket flat. He sits cross-legged, focused on the view in front of him. He’s at ease, the tension from his shoulders relaxing, his sunglasses reflecting the glare of the golden hour. You take your place beside him, indulging in this sight. Their last moment together in the sun before you return to reality.
The scene is amazing, streaks of orange and pink mirrored in the shimmering blue sea. It’s too majestic to stare at directly, so you watch it rippling on the ocean surface. With the sun gradually sinking into the horizon, Eren scoots closer, nudging you. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
You rest your head on his shoulder, nodding. “It is. Thank you for taking me here.”
“I know it’s not exactly the runaway you wanted, but it’s the best I could give you,” he mentions, leaning into you.
“This is exactly what I want. To be here with you.”
The two of you sit in silence, admiring the sunset until it disappears, and the night sky takes over, like a curtain falling after the final act. You’re holding hands now, squeezing each other tight, desperate not to let go. Maybe he senses it too, the end of this tiny getaway together.
“Eren,” you start, voice trembling.
Before you can continue, he turns to kiss you on the forehead gently. “It’s okay. You can be honest with me. I can take it.”
Tears stream down your cheeks, his thumbs brushing them away as he cradles your face between his palms. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle. “I’m so sorry, Eren. I wish I could give you what you want, like what you’ve given to me. But I can’t. Not right now. I need time.”
“Then I’ll wait for you,” he urges, placing delicate kisses along the corners of your eyes, collecting your tears on his lips. “I’ll wait until you’re ready.”
You shake your head, refusing. “I won’t let you do that. There’s a whole world out there, people without baggage, without a broken heart. They’re so much better for you than I am. It’ll be so much easier than dealing with a mess like me.”
“I don’t want easier. I want you.”
“Why? Why me?”
He smiles softly. “Because you make me happy.”
You continue to cry, asking, “How can it be that simple? What if you get sick of me? What if I can’t make you happy anymore?” It’s what happened with Reiner. He decided one day that he was no longer in love with you, and in an instant, the life you built together disintegrated into a pile of dust. Remnants of precious memories wasted away into nothing. That’s what it felt like. What if the same happens with Eren? What if you weren’t meant to be loved at all?
He keeps holding your firmly in his grasp, a look of determination in his face. “There’s so many what if scenarios you can give me. I won’t pretend to know exactly what the future has in store for us. But all I know is that I’m the happiest when I’m with you. I’m not going to let something like this go just because I’m worried it might not work out in the end. If I’m going to take a leap of faith, it’s going to be for you.” He nuzzles his nose to yours, grinning. “And who’s to say that you won’t get sick of me?”
“I would never,” you reply, gazing at him through weepy eyes. “But I’m scared of becoming a failure again.”
“Having your past relationship end doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Love isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about learning and growing. Realizing how capable you are to love somebody and allowing them to love you. Isn’t that such a wonderful thing?”
You watch him, awed by his wisdom. As much as you wish it could, it’s still not enough to take the fear away from your fragile heart. After a moment of silence, listening to the gentle waves splash on the shore, Eren says, “Can I tell you something?” It’s dark now, the chill from the night air prickling your bare skin. He unfolds the second blanket, wrapping it around the both of you. You nod, huddling closer, relishing the warmth he always surrounds you in.
“I emailed my advisor. I have a meeting with him Monday morning. I’m officially going to change my major,” he announces proudly.
“Really?”
“Yeah. No more running away. I’m not scared anymore. That’s because of you.” He faces you, eyes shining like emeralds in the pitch black of evening. “You’ve given me the strength to do this. To take control of my life and make decisions for me, and not for anyone else. With you by my side, I can do anything.”
“Eren,” you whisper, chest heavy with adoration.
He presses his forehead to yours. “I wish I could take away the pain. Take whatever hurts you and make it disappear. You have no idea how special you are to me. So, I’ll wait for you, whenever you’re ready to share your heart with me. Until then, I’ll stay by your side, as your friend, as your RA, as a person who cares deeply about you. I’ll always be here for you, okay?”
You swallow hard, tears trickling down your cheeks as you kiss him, unable to express how much he means to you, letting your lips do the talking instead. It isn’t fair to love him with a broken heart; he deserves to be loved fully by someone who isn’t afraid of it. Someone who’s healed instead of damaged, steady without stumbling at every little crack in the pavement they come across. With time, you’re determined to become that somebody for him.
Eventually, you find the will to speak. “I won’t make you wait long. I promise.”
He laughs, snuggling closer to you under the blanket. “Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise.” You hook your finger around his, swaying it between you.
Eren drives back to campus with your hand in his, brushing his thumb across your skin affectionately. You part ways outside his room, kissing each other once more before stepping down the hallway to your own room. You scroll through your phone to find Reiner’s contact, determined more than ever to settle this once and for all. No more running away.
Without hesitation, you type out your message.
Reiner. I’m ready to talk.
~~~
Sunday afternoon, you and Reiner agree to meet at a café on-campus, one that the two of you frequented freshman year when you were a couple. Upon your arrival, you notice that he’s already sat at a table, waiting for you, two drinks set in front of him. You sit across from him, back straight and neck tall, twiddling your thumbs at your lap where he can’t see.
“I already ordered,” he comments, pushing the coffee cup towards you, reciting the drink name and all the specifics of how you typically like it. Proving that he hasn’t forgotten.
You take it into your hand, tipping it into your mouth. “Thank you,” you say after swallowing your sip.
There are a few beats of awkward silence before he starts speaking. “I’m sorry about the other night. I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that.”
You nod in acknowledgement, fixated on the lid of your drink cup, nervous to meet his gaze.
“I meant it, though,” he adds. “I still want to get back together.”
You take a deep breath, choosing your words carefully. “Why all of a sudden?”
He shrugs, circling the rim of his cup with his finger. “I realized how much it sucks to be alone.”
“So, by default, I’m supposed to bail you out? It doesn’t work like that, Reiner. You can’t love me only when it’s convenient for you. That’s not love. That’s selfish.” This time, you do look at him, finding the confidence in your voice.
He doesn’t speak, facing the window, averting his eyes from yours. When he doesn’t respond, you continue. “It’s hard for anyone to be alone. Imagine how I felt when you broke up with me.”
Finally, he replies, “And you’re right. I was an idiot to do that. We should have never broken up. I didn’t know it was going to be so fucked up.” He trails off at his last statement, as if he’s just realizing it himself.
“You weren’t in love with me anymore. It wouldn’t have been fair for either of us to stay in a relationship like that. And you were right: we relied on each other too much. So much that it hurt the most when we couldn’t anymore.”
Suddenly, he holds your hand, grasping it firmly. “Then let’s go back. It’ll be better this time. I’ll be better.” He’s desperate now; it shows in his pleading eyes and quivering speech. The tightness in his grip as he clings to you, frantic.
You don’t pull away from him, squeezing him in return. “I don’t want to go back. I want to move forward. I can’t keep relying only on other people. I need to rely on myself, first and foremost. Stand tall and make choices because it’s what I want to do. That’s what growing up is all about, right?”
“And you’re not scared?”
“I’m terrified. But we shouldn’t let fear prevent us from moving on and being happy. I don’t know if you and I can make each other happy anymore. I was so careful with you, to a point where I was lying to myself about being fine with the decisions you made. I guess I always felt the need to protect you. It’s been that way since we were kids. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we’re different now. Everything is different. It’ll never be like it was, no matter how hard we try to recreate it.”
He revels at your words, a glimmer of defeat in his expression, understanding that there’s nothing else he can do to change your mind. After a minute of contemplation, he ponders, “You think that it could have worked out if I didn’t break up with you?”
You don’t answer right away, delicately formulating your reply. “Somehow, we stopped communicating. I went along with whatever you said, even when I didn’t agree. And you didn’t talk to me about the fears you were having before you broke up with me. I think we were so focused on protecting each other’s feelings that we stopped being honest to one another. I think eventually, we would realize that and break up anyways.” You take another sip of your drink before asking, “Do you think it would have worked out?”
He opens his mouth, then closes it. Eventually, he replies, “I guess when you put it like that, then no.”
You keep your hand in his, because this time, it’s really the last. And it doesn’t feel dirty or wrong to do it; it feels right. Like there’s finally that understanding that you’ve been racking your brain for the last three months.
“Maybe we were better off staying friends,” he muses.
“Maybe. But I don’t ever regret loving you, Reiner.” You used to think the same thing, convinced that crossing the line from friends to lovers was the vital mistake that doomed your relationship. With Eren’s words replaying in your head, you can’t say you believe that sentiment anymore. After all, Reiner has and will always be your first love. The person who taught you how to love and to receive love in the first place. Despite it not working out for the better, nothing will replace that.
He returns your smile, still holding you. “Me neither. I’m sorry. For everything.”
Silence falls between you two once again, a comfortable one this time, full of acceptance that this is truly the end for you and Reiner. Attempting to lighten the mood, you ask, “So, are you and Christa official yet?”
He looks at you confused, then realization washes over him. “Oh, Christa! Yeah, no. Turns out her and her big in Delta Delta are super close, if you know what I mean.” He smirks, relaxing in his seat. “I never stood a chance.”
You let go of him, leaning back into your chair. “Bummer. I genuinely do think she is nice.”
“Yeah. But I’d be annoyed too if my ex was pushing us to be friends.” He clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. “What about that Eren guy?”
You raise a brow at him. “Really? You want to talk about him?”
“Not my finest moment, I know. But I’m still curious. Is he your boyfriend now or what?”
You shake your head. “No. I told him I need time.”
Surprised, he repeats, “Time? For what?”
“To figure myself out.”
“To figure yourself out?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to give him my shattered, fucked up heart. It’s not right.”
He continues to study you, confused. “So that’s it? You’re not even going to give him a chance?”
“He said he’ll wait for me,” you respond, belly fluttering as you recall last night on the beach.
Reiner leans forward on the table, invested. “He’s totally in love with you. If he’s willing to wait for you, he’s in it for the long haul. He’s already fallen for every piece of you, I guarantee that.”
“It’s not fair to him, though.”
“It’s not fair to yourself. He’s not asking you for a healed heart. He wants you just the way you are. Why deprive yourself from someone who’s already willing to love you like this?”
“Because I don’t want to make the same mistakes again!”
He sighs, drumming his fingers on the surface impatiently. “Look, I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m completely cool with it. But for the first time in a long time, I’m trying not to be selfish again. Don’t let our past influence your future. You told me you want to rely more on yourself, right? Then start with this. Trust your heart. Don’t run away. Go for it.”
“I can’t believe my ex is actually giving me dating advice,” you chuckle, seriously contemplating his encouragement.
“Consider this my parting gift to you. As your ex and as your former best friend. I want you to be happy. And if this guy makes you happy, why wait? If it means anything to you, just know I’ll be rooting for you, whatever you decide.”
You grin. “It does mean something. Thank you, Reiner.” You no longer see him as an obstacle standing in your way. Instead, he’s on the sidelines, supporting you. Rooting for you. It took three months of suffocating to surface. And now, you’re free. “Anyways, I should go. I have a lot to think about.”
He nods, remaining seated. “Yeah.”
You’re ready to walk to the exit when he calls out to you. “Coco?”
You turn to face him, heart thumping at the familiar nickname. The youthful twinkle in his eyes returns in an instant and all your childhood memories flash before you in hyperdrive, glimpses of your past life together. Laughing so hard that you’re clutching your bellies until you’re doubled over on his bed. Hidden under homemade forts built out of pillows and cushions, shining flashlights underneath your chins, creating hand puppets with shadows on the walls. Late night drives with the windows rolled all the way down, blasting music and singing at the top of your lungs as he speeds through the highway. Splitting milkshakes at the diner, blowing out candles on birthday cakes. Endless nights spent in each other’s arms, listening to his steady heartbeat. First kisses, first times, last summer and goodbyes. Three months ago, you would have done anything to go back. Now, you’re ready to move on. The final hit of nostalgia before you go.
He smiles at you knowingly, as if he’s watching the same scenes of your lives play out in his head. “Nothing. I just wanted to say that one last time.”
~~~
Eren is in his room, sitting on the floor, strumming the strings on his guitar randomly, not playing any particular tune. He recalls the events of last night, laying it all out on the table, confessing his feelings, revealing his vulnerabilities. He won’t pressure her to rush into this, knowing she’s still processing and healing from her trauma. Her thinking about him is enough. Until the day comes when they can both love each other fully, he’ll wait patiently.
There’s a knock on his door. He isn’t suspecting company, so he assumes it’s one of his residents here to report a problem. When he opens it, he’s shocked to see her in front of him, staring at him nervously.
“I told you I wouldn’t make you wait long,” she says, stepping towards him.
His chest is heavy, fluttering incessantly, and all he can do is laugh, closing the distance between them by wrapping his arms around her. “It’s been the longest day ever, actually. You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”
She snuggles her face into his chest. “Me too. I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, though.”
He kisses the top of her head, smiling. “Tell me.”
“I can get very insecure and very anxious, so you’ll have to deal with that.”
“Okay. I can handle that,” he answers, inhaling her scent through his nostrils, filling his lungs with as much of her essence as possible.
“I want to talk about everything with you. I want us to be completely honest with each other all the time.”
Nodding, he responds, “I want that too. I want that too, sweetie.” He hugs her tighter, never wanting to let go.
“Also, sometimes I hog the blanket. But I don’t do it on purpose, I swear. I can’t control what my body does while I sleep.” She clings to him, peering up at him with the sweetest expression.
He nuzzles her nose to hers, joking, “Ah, well, I don’t think this is going to work out then.”
She glares at him playfully, pouting her lips. “That’s your dealbreaker?”
“Well, I guess I can make an exception. For you,” he teases, kissing her.
It began with an ending, and it ends with a new beginning. One journey closes, and another begins. It may not be easy, but what wonderful, magical adventure ever is? It’s the detours and bumps along the way that make it memorable, make it worthwhile. And with her by his side, and him by hers, Eren’s confident that they’ll get through anything. Together.
@batafuraikisu @bloompompom @monirei @filunara @katestrophes @ichinosejager13 @hoperenae @zellskz @e-ayyy @liliorsstuff-blog @maliakealoha @holdmeclosebutdontloveme @chrollohearttags @sailorputa @squickkk @dnyllmh @hellomeow12 @s-cream-ing @potofstewie @conniesbbymama @erzascarlett28 @lem-hhn @roronoazorosbxtchh @ichigostrawberry15 @rhaelrence @lilshades @bigmoodyjoody @icansmellsouls @aangsupremacy @ashsauroras @bakuhoes-bxtch @si-kamo @jmtherula @imaddicted-b @monkemanjeager @neesiewrote @large-juice @chiinni @belovedackerman
#eren x reader#eren jaeger#eren x f!reader#eren x you#eren x y/n#eren jaeger x reader#eren fluff#eren aot#aot fluff#reiner x reader#reiner x f!reader#reiner braun#give you blue series#give you blue#eren smut
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Okay so like regarding your bully au, I'm really invested cause the Mc has a backbone which is just >>>
But like this brings me to question were they all friends before the bullying or they just decided to confide in Mc while bullying cause it's like giving blackmail against you to your victim unless they didn't consider the scenario of Mc going rogue.
Another question is what if Mc just dipped like ✌️ bye y'all, I mean it's not completely possible with all the attention but what if it just happened how would the reactions follow after.
hihi, thanks for the questions! i literally thrive seeing things in my inbox so you've made one author happy today!
oooh we're getting into some lore here, i'll admit i don't have everything planned out for how this story's gonna go, but these questions i do have answers for.
first, yes reader/yuu was friends with everyone in the beginning. after a while though, their feelings towards mc stopped being strictly platonic, aka they went yandere mode. and because they're all traumatized and not entirely nice, their "brilliant" idea to win mc's affections was bullying. so they were telling their friend their worries, and never would've thought it'd come back to bite them in the butt.
second, if mc peace'd out, they would all freak the fuck out. some would be worried that something happened to them, others would think their rivals did something, and others (aka mal-mal) would just be a big sad. realistically there's no way they could nope out from literally everyone's view without help though, so instead mc is trying to blackmail them into leaving them alone.
i hope that all makes sense; sometimes i feel like i'm really bad at explaining things. took a break from writing part 3 due to being really fricking tired, but i'm getting back to it now so look forward to it! if anyone has questions please don't hesitate to send them in, and let me know who you'd like to see in future parts! also thinking about writing the boys' pov for the bully!au since i purposefully haven't shown any of it in the main story.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst bully!au#twst bully au#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland
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2023 FIC REC LIST
I did this last year, and I thought I’d do it again. To close out 2023, here’s a list of some of my favorite fics I’ve read this year. These aren’t everything, just of course the highlights. If the author has a tumblr, I tried to tag them, but if I missed anyone let me know or feel free to tag them yourself!
WILLOW
did i dream (that we were so perfectly entwined) | General | Tanthamore | One Shot | 8.9k
Jade and Kit, from childhood through season one. Jade’s pov.
Our hardest battles are the oaths we keep by @rehizle28 | Mature | Tanthamore | 7/25 | 50.9k
Jade grows up as a Knight of Galladoorn. When Graydon and Kit are engaged, she travels to Tir Asleen as Graydon’s personal guard. Words cannot describe how much I love this. The pining and shenanigans these two get into is so so good. Kit causes problems on purpose and Jade Cannot figure out what the princess’s deal is. King Hastur is perfectly normal and has Totally Good intentions.
be my mirror (my sword and shield) by @onlyshestandsthere | Explicit | Tanthamore | 30/? | 228k
Bone Reaver Jade helps the Crone’s followers bring Kit to the Immemorial City. Quite easily one of the angstiest fics I have ever read. But for all 100k of angst there’s another 100k of fluff and that’s only vaguely an exaggeration. The magic is absolutely horrifying but it feels totally realistic to what we’ve seen in canon. Jade and Kit both need a hug.
if we’d turned a corner (if i had waited) by @sugarfey | Mature | Tanthamore | 5/? | 13.9k
Soccer au! There’s plenty of angst in this one, but it focuses on the healing. I love everything about this fic. Kit and Jade are so dumb as usual and I love the social media bits.
The Flawless Five, Vol. 1: Rise of the Five | Teen | Gen | 2/6 | 11.9k
Superhero au! It’s silly and goofy and so so much fun to read. I’m really liking the mystery so far, and I’m looking forward to how it unfolds.
Triumph of the Wyrm | Mature | Tanthamore | 3/12 | 13.8k
Series still currently in the first book. Kit successfully runs away, and every attempt to rescue Airk fails. Twenty years later, the world is under the rule of the Wyrm. Kit and Jade work in smuggling, unaware what happened to the other. Until, of course, they end up working together on a job. The world is so so horrifying but so well done. Also, Kit is allies with Sarris the Troll.
Let’s take a knife and cut the world in two by @spybrarian | Mature | Tanthamore | One Shot | 7.9k
Exorcist Jade and possessed Kit! Very angsty. The worldbuilding is very very well done and so so horrifying.
these walls come tumbling down by @onlyshestandsthere | Teen | Tanthamore | 4/? | 28.8k
Vet Jade and Perfectly Normal Human Kit. After Jade hits Kit (as a cat) with her car, she takes it upon herself to take care of her. Told in two timelines, one in Kit’s pov before the accident, and one in Jade’s pov after. I have laughed so much reading this I absolutely adore it.
One Night in October | Teen | Tanthamore | 9/9 | 29.k
Slasher fic! Angsty, mysterious, but it has a bittersweet ending.
Sink or Swim | Mature | Tanthamore | 7/7 | 16k
Lifeguard Jade and disaster Kit. Seriously she is so, so dumb and it is so, so funny.
LEGENDBORN
Rescue | General | Gen | 1/1 | 4k
Valec’s point of view of Chapter 42. I love Valec okay.
A Place at the Table | General | Gen | 1/1 | 7k
Legendborn/Merlin cross over. Basically, Arthur is a lot better than in canon and it’s so nice to read after Bloodmarked.
Beach Day Memory Walk by @justbrainrot | Mature | OT3 | 1/1 | 3.5k
Bree takes Sel and Nick on a memory walk during Sel’s birthday. Super cute and fun.
Mother, Merlin | Mature | Gen | 4/? | 13k
Natasia healing Sel after the events of Bloodmarked. Very very angsty, but also very very good. I love how Natasia is written.
Dancing in the moonlight by @nightworldlove | Teen | Willark | One Shot | 3k
William and Lark dance. Uh. In the moonlight. Very cute one shot.
Sometimes Hunting and Running Blur Together… by @ficnoire2 | Explicit | Other | 4/? | 11.9k
Valec backstory and I absolutely adore it
DESCENDANTS
Yeah I’m pretty sure we’ve all probably read most of these but nevertheless
Blessed Art Thou Among Women | Mature | Gen | One Shot | 1.3k
Claudine and the Catholic virtues
Descendants: A Different Tale by @kanzakurawrites | Teen | Gen | 9/? | 17.9k
I think this altered my brain chemistry tbh Mal deserves the best parents
Dark Fire by @dragoneyes618
Yeah just go read these if you like Claudine
Obligatory @isleofdarkness shoutout I am quite literally obsessed with this au
Let Dead Men Lie by @dragoneyes618 | General | One Shot | 2.6k
Everyone takes the blame for killing Frollo. Ben is struggling.
Death threats on Dead Beauty by @panthera-tigris-venenata | Mature | Gen | 2/3 | 2.7k
Listen I think Harry should be this feral all the time
the devil had done for the rest | Teen | Gen | One Shot | 2.5k
Harriet! Harry! Yeah that’s all.
Cursed || Harriet Hook | Teen | One Shot | 10.7k
Any Harriet content makes me insane and this is no different. Harriet backstory.
THE MECHANISMS
love in his own eyes by @nonbinarylowkey | General | Gen & Multi | One Shot | 5k
Arthur’s first night as a father
(im)mortality by @nonbinarylowkey | Teen | Multi | One Shot | 7.7k
Arthur handles Mordred’s “death” in a perfectly normal way. Sometimes I think about this fic and take physic damage.
From The Wastes His Child Came (Bringing Revelations Of All Things) | Teen | Other | 3/3 | 7k
Arthur forgets trans people exist and finds Mordred. I’ve reread this so many times I adore it.
la soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre by @ladydragonkiller | General | Gen | One Shot | 6.4k
Brian falls from the gallows and stops the Battle of Camlann, as he should
Inverse Suspension | General | Gen & Multi | One Shot | 3.4k
Mordred frees Brian, and everything turns out okay
no path past kindred’s stain | Teen | Multi | 3/3 | 9.8k
Pendragon backstories my beloved <3
#hi the amount of times I had to redo this was insane#this took hours lmao#enjoy the fics that is a THREAT#willow 2022#disney descendants#descendants#the mechanisms#high noon over camelot#hnoc#naia recs fics
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Roy's lack of self-preservation
This took me a long time to write. Sorry about that. My health took a hit this past month (Don't worry, I'm alright).
Here is a bit of a deconstruction of Roy's character, the way he sees himself, and how that translates into a complete lack of self-preservation.
Roy's fatalism
For someone who is supposedly an idealist Roy sure has a fatalist view of life.
In the OVA "Yet another man's battlefield", Roy tells Hughes that he wants to defend his country and doesn't care if he dies doing so. To which Hughes replies that he doesn't want to die for the sake of anything (ironic, I know). Two years later, when Riza asks Roy not to die, he responds that he can't guarantee he won't die like a piece of trash on the sideway.
You could argue that Roy is being realistic, but I disagree. Roy is after all an idealist by his own admission, and this fatalistic POV is a complete contradiction to the naive way in which he regards his role as a soldier — as a protector rather than as a murderer, which Kimblee later calls out during Ishval. Not to mention that this is unusually pessimistic coming from a young person. See the way Hughes, Heathcliff, and even Riza talk about their own goals in the military. None of them is constantly reaffirming their own mortality.
Perhaps, this comes from Roy's Alchemist nature— from the deep ingrained belief of equivalent exchange. Perhaps, it comes from the characters' unknown past. Whatever the reason, there's no denying that to Roy his own life is something he is willing to trade off for the greater good. By this I doesn't mean he is suicidal. He is not. What I mean is that for Roy everything else comes before his own survival, and this is something that reflects in much more than just his speech.
Roy's reckless fighting style
We all remember Riza sweeping in to Roy's rescue when he's about to fight Scar under the rain. This is not an accident or him just being forgetful. Roy is actually arrogant to the point of recklessness when it comes to his own abilities. He's the sort of person that stages an intricate plan to rescue one soldier from execution, and then marches himself right into the wolf's mouth because he is THAT confident he can deal with any repercussions.
Which… he is not, but he has good reasons to believe he is.
It is easy to overlook because the main characters are alchemists, but Alchemy is very rare and powerful in the world of FMA. It is the sole reason Amestris is a superpower despite being such a small country. In the manga (not so much in Brotherhood), we are constantly reminded that normal people don't understand Alchemy, and the State Alchemists are dehumanized, often compared to human weapons, monsters, and/or gods.
Roy's alchemy, in particular, is extremely dangerous. Even among the Homunculi, there are few individuals that can stand up to the might of Roy's full power. This is why he believes himself invincible. Ishval taught Roy the strength of Flame alchemy, and the horrors it can cause in the wrong hands. As its wielder this makes Roy powerful and dangerous.
A monster among humans.
As such in Roy's mind he's an invincible monster whose life is unimportant when compared to his goals and the life of those he's sworn to protect. This is why for Roy facing actual monsters (the Homunculi) is such a humbling and humanizing experience. This is why he tells Riza:
Now you see why Roy marches forward recklessly and without hesitation. It's a combination of his lack of self-worth, and the knowledge that he wields a power few people can match.
But Roy's lack of self-preservation goes even beyond his speech and fighting style.
Roy's lifestyle
This mentality that he is a monster whose only purpose is to serve others permeates Roy's lifestyle. The idea that Riza is the stern one that takes her job too seriously and that Roy is the frivolous one that prefers to enjoy life is hilariously ironic. The narrative shows us almost the opposite story.
We see Riza out doing groceries on her day off. We see her shopping clothes with Rebecca. We see her taking Hayate out for walks. We see her having a shower after work and putting on comfy clothes at home. We see her having a life outside of the military, even if adjacent to it.
In the meantime, Roy is always in the office. He sleeps in the break room. He cleans himself in the public restroom. He eats in the mess hall. Badly so at times as we get a comment about his weight from Armstrong. When he goes out on dates or to drink, we are shown he's actually gathering intel. The one time we see him in his apartment he's sleeping on the goddamn couch still in his crumpled uniform.
There are no comfy Pjs in his home. No long showers. No pets to keep him company. No days off with his friends.
And this all makes sense, because monsters that only exist to protect others don't need comfort.
They need to make themselves useful.
When Riza tells Roy to think more of himself. When Riza tells Ed that Roy will pay the price alone and make sure his subordinates escape punishment. When Arakawa jokes that Riza needs to remind Roy how to take care of himself. It is because Roy has never bothered to keep himself alive beyond what's needed to fulfill his duties, and Riza knows it.
Roy is a barely functional human disaster with zero sense of self-preservation. The only reason he's alive is because he's had people like Hughes (vs Heathcliff), Riza (so many times), and even the Elrics (vs gluttony) sweep in and save his ass every time he's about to kick the bucket.
--
I have some theories and headcanons about why Roy might have ended up being this way. I will maybe post them on a later date.
Thanks for reading! ^ ^
#roy mustang#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fullmetal alchemist#fma meta#meta#my work#no wonder Riza has anxiety about him lol#ps: I'm still working on fics lol#Ithink one may be ready in the next two weeks
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Sonadow, Sonamy...
OK so we all know that there's a civil mid-joke war inside the Sonic Fandom about preferences between Sonadow and Sonamy, right?
And yeah I don't care barely at all about ships or ship wars and stuff, and everyone can have their opinion! But as someone who loves to relate the lore to everything because autism I really like analyzing things and it helps me understand everything better, I thought to maybe give all the canon/non-emotions related stuff to explain how these relationships, friends or something more (spoiler alert, something more does not exist in canon), work inside canon and how they would work in the far future.
REMINDER THAT THIS WILL NOT SIDE WITH EITHER SIDE MUCH UNTIL THE END ("In my humble opinion..." part)
THERE'S ALSO AN ANALYSIS! But at the end, since it's more of a personal analysis that is not fully factual, just a study of the characters.
Yeah so here it goes...
(Everything with a "*" means that it will be explained at the end with the more "sonic" stuff, less related to the ship.)
Sonamy
Realistically, Amy was created to be more of "just an addition to the Sonic team" with more female representation. She started off as just Sonic's girlfriend or love interest, even though he never showed as much interest for her as she did for him. In short, her interest in him did show since she made her first appearance, clearly showing that that would be the main or most shown romantic relationship in the franchise.
At the beginning, she was completely a Sonic fangirl and had much interest in him, specifically shown in shows or some comics... but as they realized the potential of the character, they stopped making her whole reason to be there sonic, changing it slightly, but still firing the character. This also meant that they stopped making her be "madly in love" or that interested in sonic, who was never interested in the first place. This, outside of the franchise is clearly the creators noticing the potential of a character with a heart as big as Amy's, but inside of the franchise it was probably her maturing (going from typical teenage romance-obsessed phase to just a normal crush), which was (ok this one thing is my opinion, yeah...) a big improvement to the character, to give her a story, more personality...
Now, about the ship itself... Sonamy has always been one-sided, or at least in most cases. And this had been stated and was seen clearly throughout the franchise (ok realistically I did not watch sonic boom but that one is not really canon in the main story which is the one that I am talking about). At first, maybe it was not shown in a very modern or uh... less obvious way... but listen the 90's are the 90's ok. but they showed it nonetheless. So, respectfully, Sonamy has not been canon from both sides clearly in most of the canon storyline.
Sorry Sonamy shippers...
(further study of this ship is after Sonadow, but that is a more personal review so I understand if you are not so interested)
(I'd add a single picture of these two but all I can find is FANART...)
Sonadow
So yeah I think we can all accept that no matter how gay it looks we have no proof that they are canon with facts and from a less biased point of view...
We have Sonic's line "I heart you too, Shadow" hope that's enough to feed ya xd
Nah but seriously there is an analysis to these two, it's just not that based in facts and hints like Sonamy had.
The analysis...
Now that the factual part has been explained, let's see this from a more Sonic POV, okay?
Sonic
Sonic is a character that likes to do everything, achieve everything, and be the fastest. His quote is quite literally "Gotta go fast". Of course, in a relationship, he would, not only be interested in, but also need, someone who can "keep up", as toxic as that sounds. He does not really need someone as fast as him, just someone that he can trust to be there by his side at every fight (or most of them), someone who will be at his level enough to fight by his side, otherwise it would be too dangerous. Something else that I've noticed is that the ones he is closest with, or has shown more attachment towards, are also people that can keep him with his feet on the ground, people that know when and how to say "You are not going to do this" and convince him, or, people to just keep him company and remind him who he is when he forgets (and, hey, it's Sonic, he also likes to have a few laughs).
As coincidental as that sounds, being able to both keep up and slow him down are traits that both characters mentioned earlier fulfil (yeah maybe Shadow more specifically... but shut up this is also supportive for Sonamy shippers ok LET THEM BE HAPPY LET THEM ALL BE HAPPY)
In any case, Sonic is a free-spirited supersonic hedgehog that will go wherever he wants whenever he wants, he helps people that are in trouble if he has the chance, and will fight and laugh alongside people who were once, currently are, or have tried to keep up. But being in a relationship itself is more effort than occasional visits, and Sonic knows that; he will be in a relationship with someone that can "keep up" and stand by him for the good of both of them. Obviously, he will also give, put in the effort to make the relationship work, but he knows who, when he gives 50, can give back 50, and those are people that will keep up with his adventures.
In my opinion... (the logic of the analysis applied to my train of thought, this is more biased from now on)
Sonamy
I understand why people see these two as a cute couple. Honestly, it makes sense. She does fulfil most of the traits and he does fulfil many of her expectations, from what I have seen of her...
But it's the keeping up part. Amy is a kind, warm hedgehog who loves nature and loves protecting nature. I have always had the feeling that, at some point (when she's a young adult probably), she would get a small house, near a natural area, where all her friends are, and stay there to protect them in that area. She would stay in one place that would fully grow on her and she would spend all her life there, protecting what she wishes to fight for and taking care of nature, as well as some visits every now and then to her friends if they are far away.
Sonic does not seem to like physical affection too much, except for certain moments with certain people, and the way Amy keeps asking for affection might make him uncomfortable or even bore him most of the time. In a relationship? It might just bore Sonic too much, and Amy would not change to much anyway...
I have never been a fan of the concept of a one-sided ship, due to how toxic it can be. But there is something about the way that Amy, even with her crush, respects Sonic's boundaries, that makes me feel like this is the one single one-sided ship I find interesting and perfect as it is. Sonic is not uncomfortable with her, on the contrary, he enjoys spending time with her a lot, but when she goes to a more romantic mode, he does seem more uncomfortable in most cases.
Plus... this one small part is way more of a personal opinion, but Amy staying single and possibly being a single mother feels very in-character and sweet.
Sonadow
Shadow. As cryptic as he chooses to be at times, he has shown that he cares about Sonic before, which for the character, someone who lost everything in a person who meant the universe to him, is quite a lot. He has been open- or as open as he can be- with Sonic before, which clearly makes their friendship-rivalry slightly more different that his relationship with other people. Shadow's only "problem" is that at times he cannot express himself well.
They respect each other, even if they don't always show it. They care about each other, and even admire some actions the other does. Their rivalry is not toxic, it's just competitive.
Shadow does have the traits that Sonic would be most interested in, like Amy, but in his case, he is less feeling, but he can definitely keep up and even slow Sonic down. He has followed him when he thought he could put the world or himself in dagger multiple times, but he has not shown that well his ability to encourage Sonic (yeah no he has his own way with words and that way is not saying anything, much less to someone with Sonic's high self-esteem)
Sonic loves excitement and enjoying life to the last minute, doing everything that might sound extreme just for fun. He has always admired Shadow's power and angry determination, and found him and his powers amazing, even if he won't admit it. Shadow doesn't mind living extreme situations at all, apparently even enjoying certain activities that involve the excitement of a battle of any kind. Sonic finds that part of Shadow fun to mess with, and Shadow either doesn't care or is barely angry, but actually, in a way, enjoys having someone to fight or just spend time with that won't push any emotional talk or physical signs of affection too much.
Apart from that, my pov again for the future, both of them could make great parents, and their relationship in a family could be interesting since they already act like a married couple xd but then again, Sonic does not seem like the kind of person who will just have a kid unless something "eye-opening" or lifechanging happens to him.
Conclusion
But then again this is just an analysis that would be in case he would settle with either of them for life, so it might not be the best if we are just keeping them with their current age or a bit older xd
Plus, this is more related to their personalities, facts and lore... since I'm not the most adequate to judge how romantic and other kinds of attraction work haha (aroace nation rISE)
Also, as un-biased as this is, this still has a bit of personal opinion, so don't take it too canon and stuff
And remember everyone had the right to have their own opinions, even if we don't like them. Respect everyone and their opinions! They aren't hurting anyone anyway, right? (unless it's something highly immoral or just straight up not legal worldwide)
So yeah, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you ship Sonamy, Sonadow or something else, we're all just having fun after all, and if you insult people's opinion you're just being the angry bully in the playground who steals toys and breaks them because it's fun for them, a bitch.
Sonic's got 2 hands after all, ammaright
(this is totally official art trust not al all made in 2 minutes in board with a mouse)
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Thoughts on Buddy Daddies
1. I work at a daycare and every time I see someone say they dislike Miri because she’s obnoxious, annoying, etc…I just think they have never been around a child that is 3-4 years old who gets attention. Kids love attention. so yeah, Miri is wild at first because she’s getting attention from people she really likes and trusts for the first time in her life. She wants to do everything they do, know everything, see everything. She’s 4, she wants to learn. Kids are annoying, cause problems, don’t listen because they are not fully aware of their surroundings or the consequences. It’s really not a hard concept. I think the creators did a fantastic job of creating a realistic child.
2. I think we, as a society, need to learn the difference between queerbaiting and queer-coding. We also need to understand people will view content from their own pov. You see Kazuki and Rei. Some might see best friends, life partners, soul mates, lovers, boyfriends, etc. It simply doesn’t matter. No one is right nor wrong. If you see them as straight, great. See them as queer? That’s also great. However it is so very important to not discredit the concept of gay people existing. Even in a conservative society, gay people exist.
3. No one should compare Buddy Daddies and Spy x Family. It’s like comparing DC and Marvel. Similar, but different in content, plot and characters. And that’s all I’ll say on that discourse.
4. I don’t want to see Boss get a redemption arc. He doesn’t deserve it and we have yet to see any of his backstory. To me, it doesn’t matter. That kind of plot is unrealistic to me. Some are just bad people in the world and they will always be bad. I think we’re more likely to see Mr. Last words have a change of heart rather than boss, simply because we have seen more of him.
5. I don’t think Kyu is going to betray the family. If he does it would be part of an elaborate plan to save them. I think we’ll see Rei come to save them for plot and character purposes. Or perhaps Miri will by some kind of random accident.
6. I am terrified that Miri’s mom will somehow take her back in the end :( I would lose my GD mind if that happens lmao.
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returning to shifting
although admittedly documented for only a few short weeks online, this time last august, i was obsessed with shifting. it was something i was thinking about it 24/7. i was so desperate to shift and i think this sideblog got to catch a small glimpse of, that desperation, that obsession, that intense pressure to shift . last year taught me loads about shifting, about spirituality and about myself but mostly that constantly thinking about something makes it 10x harder to accomplish in the end.
and so, with the acknowledgement that, in that sort of obsessive mindset, i would never shift, i decided to take a break. but, with exams, and university, and everything else, it became a year long break from shifting.
but now im back! and having had a year to reflect, here are some resolutions-
social media: constantly being bombarded with shifting content on my socials wasnt helpful *at all*. of course, it can undoubtedly be a useful tool but with all the different feelings, opinions, ultimately it detracts from the fact that shifting is a personal, spiritual journey and overcomplicated shifting too much. this time round, im taking a social media detox and looking into myself for answers to questions, rather than relying solely on shifttok/shiftblr (a bit ironic as im posting on here lol but anyways)
desired reality: i finally understand the issue with the phrase 'desired reality' because it really does set our drs on a hugeee pedestal! whilst i love doctor who, the immense fascination and awe i have for the universe didnt help with this. i constantly viewed it as an elevated realty, a reality so much better than my current one, that shifting felt unattainable. and thats why...
new dr: with a fresh perspective, i felt like i needed a fresh start with my dr and so i decided that i want to shift to the hunger games universe! and i just want to clarify that this is NOT a violent kill dr - i will not be participating in or have anything to do with the games. i simply want to explore the world as i am curious about the cultures, districts etc. i feel like, as it is a dystopian world as well, i honestly cannot place it on that same pedestal as doctor who. its a semi-realistic world, honestly not so different from ours. anyway, more about my new dr in another post!
belief: for the longest time, i naturally thought a lot of my doubt in shifting was to do with my beliefs. that, deep down, i didnt believe in it. but i dont think thats true. i believe in shifting. i just think that i mistake disbelief with feelings of doubt and shame i associate with believing in shifting. i dont know if that makes sense. what i mean is, shifting has an awful rep online. and sometimes, i think, rightly so. all the edits and povs honestly sort of make shifting a natural extension of stan culture, which, though harmless and innocent, makes it seem like crazy fan behaviour rather than a spiritual practice. and so, when i say i believe in shifting, some of those external opinions about shifting - where people make us feel crazy for our beliefs - make me feel ashamed. but im happy to say that im changing that; im starting to see shifting as a part of my spirituality - something that others may disrespect, but can never delegitimise. because we never do this for religions, so why shifting? why should other people, who have a biased perspective, be allowed to slander what i believe in.
finally, obsession: as i talked about at the beginning, the desperation and obsession to shift made the actual act so much more difficult. i constantly felt this pressure and anticipation before bed, finding myself always feeling a sort of performance anxiety (lol) and associating shifting with this. and so, this time round, im detaching from shifting. of course, its super exciting, its super cool. im allowing myself to feel that all, just in a healthy way. this is an *aspect* of my life but its not my *entire* life. i will shift. its a fact of inevitability now. its like sleeping, its a natural part of my life now so it will happen.
there are many more things that have changed, many things that arent perfect. but shifting doesnt have to be perfect. your mindset doesnt have to be perfect. there really arent any requirements for shifting, just an intention and a willingness to understand yourself which is pretty much the formula for doing anything else in life so,
to anyone who got this far,
happy shifting
tish x
#reality shifting#shifting#shiftblr#anti shifters dni#shifting community#shifting to doctor who#quantum jumping#shifting to the hunger games
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How TxT members view each other (PT.2)
Soobin (POV)
Yeonjun
Positive traits: (Soobin has a lot of respect for him)charismatic, good style, looks good in anything, charming, passionate, high self esteem, leader, masculine, regal, ladies man, open minded, open to love, gets over break ups easily, doesn't stay in a sad/depressive state for long
Negative traits: bad FOMO (fear of missing out), catty and petty, aggressive, gets really loud when upset, impulsive, selfish, bad at keeping promises, bad with time, gets jealous of others (like envious of the lives shown on Instagram)
Beomgyu
Positive traits: careful, calculative, clever, shouldn't be underestimated, beautiful eyes, generous, giving with money, wealthy, mystical and mysterious, joyful, takes care of himself, leader, honorable, protective and possessive of what's his
Negative traits: talks too much, loud, annoying at times, complains too much, problems going to sleep, too affectionate, runs from his problems, avoids confrontation, sensitive
Taehyun
Positive traits: gives the same energy given to him, open minded, not afraid to call out bs, confrontational, realistic, trustworthy, not the type to betray others, good at keeping secrets, cctv eyes, watches everything(very perceptive)
Negative traits: doesn't know how to deal with his fame, boring, doesn't put enough effort into his career, doesn't have many friends, beautiful but shallow, lazy, cares what others think, procrastinator, bad at dealing with his hurt feelings
Huening Kai
Positive traits: Masculine, protective of what's his, independent, aggressive, go getter, sarcastic, witty, prankster, stable, goal oriented, cool to hang with, friendly and charismatic (Soobin feels like Huening Kai is the same as him, sees himself in HK)
Negative traits: stubborn, mean, ghosts others, cold, aggressive, too passionate, gets into unrequited love, scared of getting too close to people, fear of being betrayed
Beomgyu (POV)
Yeonjun
Positive traits: open minded, a chameleon that can fit into all social circles, sociable, sexy, has sex appeal, very popular, optimistic, perseveres through obstacles, eccentric style, has unconventional relationships, liberal
Negative traits: people pleaser, loses himself being around others, too mutable, cares what others think, pouty, vain, too westernized, too passionate and energetic, impulsive, adrenaline seeker, fake it till you make it, pretentious, materialistic
Soobin
Positive traits: stubborn, his word is law (puts his foot down), not a push over, warm, sympathetic, fatherly, stable and secure, reliable, smart, risk taker, calculative, nice body, noncommittal, independent
Negative traits: cruel streak, aggressive, doesn't like when others worry about him, suffers in silence, takes on too much work, pushes others away, too competitive, rough (may not realize his strength), impatient, bad at communication (never consistently texts/calls Beomgyu)
Taehyun
Positive traits: independent, watchful, sees everything, perceptive, enjoys nature, open minded, cultured, realistic, fun to talk and hang with, (these two are close), doesn't stay stuck on the past, takes care of himself, smells good, clean
Negative traits: aggressive, prideful, thinks he's better than others, stalker, too watchful, knows a lot of people's secrets, (beomgyu is suspicious of him since he sees so much), too reclusive, dealing with a heartbreak, not affectionate with his speech, doesn't express his love well
Huening Kai
Positive traits: consistent, goal oriented, patient, good with time, passionate, doesn't put up with bs, solid boundaries
Negative traits: obsessed with fame, attention seeker, ungrateful, pessimistic, jealous of others life, boring, too focused on work
Huening Kai (POV)
Yeonjun
Positive traits: handsome, charismatic, sly, foxy, alluring, affectionate, sweet talker, attractive, high self esteem, confident, flirtatious
Negative traits: petty, aggressive, snippy when upset, prideful, easy to anger if you realize his sensitivities, childish, not focused enough on his career, runs from his problems, holds grudges
Soobin
Positive traits: independent, simple and uncomplicated, doesn't need much to be okay, adventurous, is his own person, good with time management, perceptive but not too perceptive, sympathetic
Negative traits: acts as the mediator a lot when members fight, aggressive, asserts his authority, unaffectionate with his speech, (shaky connection, they like each other one day then the next they don't)
Beomgyu
Positive traits: communicative, funny, good at impersonations, knows how to bring the members together, takes care of himself, knows his worth, in a healing stage, doesn't hesitate when it comes to going after love, match maker (could set up members on dates)
Negative traits: loud, annoying at times, too energetic, childish, puts too much pressure on himself, overworks himself, directed by his emotions over his logic, hard headed, holds grudges, cutthroat, doesn't give second chances
Taehyun
Positive traits: confrontational, masculine, in control of himself, intense, beautiful eyes, not gullible, doesn't fear much, balanced, leaves behind things/people not good for him, stops toxic patterns, strong boundaries
Negative traits: pessimistic, cynical and dark, brooding, dealing with a break up, not open to love at the moment, too aggressive, reclusive, suffers in silence
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Shades
I know I suggested the same drabble but from Leon's POV as a hypothetical, but then I wrote it in a blind sweat in the middle of the night. It's crazy to put these two side by side and see how unreliable these narrators are.
Companion piece to this story.
Triggers warning: Drugs, discussion of past situations where drugs and sex is mixed in bad ways, self victim blaming, Orre's fucked up views of consent, implied prostitution and self harm. Everything but the drugs is past tense and only discussed. Dead dove: do not eat.
Leon clung to Sparky, feeling the wind whip through his hair as they soared through the sky. The moon was full and shining, illuminating the Wild Area beneath them.
Normally flying with Charizard was exciting, never failing to fill him with joy. But all he could feel was the gnawing pit in his stomach, his sole focus was finding Wes.
"You can do whatever you want to me. I don't mind."
He had pretended to believe Wes when he said that whatever drug was mixed in that drink wouldn't affect him. But when they had left the club, alone in an alleyway, and Wes had said some very concerning shit- his boyfriend panicked and fled like a cornered Deerling. Leon was left alone and reeling, mind trying to connect an incomplete puzzle, absolutely terrified for what it could mean.
After that, the only thought on his mind was finding Wes and making sure he was safe.
Unfortunately, his lack of directions was coming to bite him in the ass. He could swear that they've been flying around the same hilltops for several minutes now, and Sparky's sense of direction wasn't much better than his.
"Skarm!"
Leon's head whipped around at the cry. Wes's Skarmory had flown up to them, and that Pokemon was almost always at his side.
"Sparky, follow Skarmory!"
"Zard!"
In what felt like forever, but was realistically only a few moments, they were descending to the crumbling watchtower. As soon as Charizard had landed, Leon was scrambling off, kneeling next to his boyfriend.
Wes was sprawled out on his back, gaze fixed up at the sky. As he looked closer, he noticed the blood starting to gather alongside the white powder underneath his nose, and how unfocused and out of it Wes looked.
Leon reached out, gently brushing Wes’s bangs out of his eyes. His heart clenched at how uncharacteristically dazed and almost lifeless his boyfriend looked. If it wasn't for the warmth under Leon's fingers and the slight rise and fall of Wes’s chest, he'd think the man was dead.
"Hon..."
After a few moments where the only response he got were slow blinks, Leon made the executive decision to pick Wes up. He carefully put his arms underneath Wes, lifting him up almost effortlessly into his lap. The position certainly wasn't comfortable for Wes, but when he wrapped his arms around Wes, he could rest one hand on the side of his neck to feel his pulse.
46 bpm. Way below normal for Wes, but not dangerous. He's a little cold, but he's also been out in the open for Arceus knows how long and he's a little cold blooded.
The knowledge that his boyfriend was safe and in his arms released some of the tension in his body. While Wes was the opposite of healthy, he didn't immediately need to be rushed to the hospital.
One of these days Leon was going to convince him to see a doctor, but not right now.
Wes was also relaxing in his arms. His head was pressed right next to Leon's heart. He didn't know if it was Leon's heartbeat (which was running fast due to feeling like he'd run a marathon at full sprint in the past two hours) or the act of being held, but Wes was relaxing.
It scared Leon how limp and pliant he was in his arms.
"Love, what did you do?"
"Took some coke to forget. Sorry."
Leon sighed, unsurprised but not any less worried, pulling out the cheap napkin he nabbed from the club. Mindful of how raw the area was, he gently dabbed the blood and coke from Wes’s nose, trying not to hurt him.
"You need to talk to me, hon," Leon muttered, gently shifting Wes in his lap so that he would be more comfortable. He also made sure to press Wes's chest against his: he knew he naturally ran warm, and he wanted to warm Wes up.
Once he was done, he gently pressed a kiss to his Love's forehead, carefully wiping away the tears gathering in his eyes. He could feel the knife twisting in his heart at the sight, but this was something he needed to do. He needed to know, no matter how much it hurt.
"I- I can't."
"Love, please." Leon was begging, eyes burning as he was holding back tears. "I want to help, but I need you to talk to me."
"I don't want to remember."
"I know, and I'm sorry, but I need to know. I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't mind. You can hurt me. Probably won't remember anyways."
If he felt like a knife was being twisted in his heart before, he just got stabbed in the chest. He couldn't stop the tears from falling, just barely biting his lip to keep himself from sobbing.
He felt Wes shift in his arms, leaning forwards and essentially face planting on his neck. His boyfriend was the one who needed him, yet he was trying to comfort Leon. The attempted kiss was enough for him to get a hold of his emotions again.
This isn't about you. Get a grip, Champ.
He reached up, trying to wipe away tears but mostly just smearing his face. Ever so gently, he coaxed Wes's face away from his neck, lifting him up and gently pressing a kiss on his boyfriend's forehead.
It was his way of saying both sorry and thank you.
"Hon, I love you so, so much. I know you don't want to remember, but you have to. I don't want what happened earlier to ever happen again, which means we need to be on the same footing."
He waited patiently for an answer. He promised a long time ago that he'd always stay by Wes's side, and that was truer now than it's ever been.
"Okay."
"Thank you." He moved his hand to gently cup his boyfriend's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. "Earlier, when you said that... When you said that being drunk or high never mattered before..."
"It doesn't."
"It absolutely-" Leon was caught completely off guard, scrambling for a response. "You can't consent to sex when you're drunk, or high, or coerced."
Wes hummed. "I don't- I've never been sober for it. Never wanted to be."
"Never been- What do you mean, never wanted to be?"
"Sometimes after I agree to a trade, I take somethin' so that I don't remember."
"That's not..." Leon was grasping at straws, trying to explain how that was completely fucked up. "If you have to take drugs to cope with it then you didn’t consent- you didn't really say yes."
"Back home it didn't matter, it just mattered that you didn't say no."
The words hit Leon in the throat this time, and he couldn't hold back tears anymore. "That's not how that works! That's not how any of that works!"
"It's fine, Lee-"
"It's not! Nothing about this is okay!" He was searching, trying to grasp for a single good experience Wes has ever had. "Fucking hell. Have you ever had sex sober?"
"Sometimes. When I don't have time to take drugs first."
"Fuck that's not- Have you ever said yes, when you genuinely wanted to, and you were sober?"
Wes was the one to break eye contact, looking away from him. He didn't say anything: it's not like he needed to. The silence spoke for him.
Leon remembered how prostitution was listed as one of Wes's crimes on his wanted poster, even on the ones printed before he was 18. He remembered earlier, when they were getting handsy and Wes just stopped moving, his eyes going blank. He remembered how confused Wes looked when he backed off. He remembered the face of the boy on the wanted posted printed when Wes was 14.
Leon felt like he was going to puke. "Fucking hell-"
"You don' have to cry for me," Wes muttered. "I agreed to those deals. I got high with Cail knowing what would happen-"
"That doesn't- No, I'm not letting you blame yourself!"
"You should. I'm not worth it."
"I'm not worth it."
That was what broke him. His sweet, wonderful boyfriend- who has a bond with every Pokemon he meets unlike anything he's ever seen before, who fought an entire region to protect his Espeon and Umbreon, who pretends not to care despite the fact that Leon's caught him repeatedly sneaking them treats, who will cry every single time if a Pokemon dies in a movie, who pushed himself out of his comfort zone in order to give Leon a ferris wheel date even though he hated people- had been raped so often that he thought it was normal. And instead of rightfully blaming everyone who hurt him, he blamed himself. He thought he was worth so little that he thought Leon should blame him.
Leon clung to Wes as he broke down, sobbing into Wes’s shoulders. He couldn't pinpoint what exactly he was feeling: rage, grief, helplessness. It all blended together, and the only thing he could do was sob pathetically as he clung to Wes.
And then, in his arms, Wes started to cry too.
Unlike Leon's loud ugly cries, Wes was completely silent, instead shaking violently. He was still limp, but Leon could feel him jerking and spasming in his arms. Leon was still a slave to his own emotions, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop himself.
A small part of him thought they were grieving together.
Eventually, his body set him free. He felt completely drained of energy, but he muscled past the exhaustion to take care of Wes, properly holding him in his arms instead of clinging to him like a Teddiursa. He managed to muster up enough energy to rub Wes's back in a breathing pattern.
He never felt more helpless than knowing that his boyfriend was sobbing and that he could do nothing about it.
Eventually, after Arceus knows how long, Wes's sobs began to ebb. Tears were still running down his face, but he wasn't hyperventilating or shaking anymore.
For a few minutes, they sat in silence, with Leon continuing to rub Wes's back. He didn't know if it was for Wes’s sake or his.
"I'm sorry." Wes was so quiet that Leon almost missed it.
"Don't- Don't apologize. I'm sorry so many people hurt you."
"Lee..." Wes’s voice was raspy, and it sounded like it physically hurt to speak.
Leon leaned down to press a kiss to the top of Wes's head. There was something he remembered, something that Wes had asked him in that alleyway before he ran off.
"Earlier- You asked me what I wanted from you."
Wes hummed in response. He hesitated for a moment: it was selfish of Leon to ask this of him when he was under the influence of two different drugs. But even though he felt bad for taking advantage of Wes's high state, he needed the reassurance that his boyfriend was still going to be there the next morning.
"All I want is for you to get better. All I want is for you to be happy and healthy and safe. Can you promise me? Promise me you'll get better? No drinking, no drugs, none of this pushing to be hurt?"
"I can't promise safe. Lotta people want me dead."
"I know. I just don't want you to be one of them."
Leon waited with bated breath. He knew that after a lifetime of doing the exact opposite, asking Wes to take care of himself would go against everything he's known. But now that he's in Leon arms, he never wants to let Wes go, and he will fight everyone who will try to take the man away from him. Even if that's Wes himself.
Despite what Wes thinks, he deserves all of Leon's love, the world, and more. One day, Leon will make sure that Wes sees himself the way Leon sees him.
Wes's answer was so quiet that he almost missed it. "I'll try."
"That's all I ask." He knew he wasn't going to get a solid promise, but the knowledge that Wes was going to try to get better still soothed him.
"I can't- I can't do it on my own."
"I know. But you aren't on your own. You have Sonia, and Piers, and your friend from Unova. And I'll always be here."
"Always?"
"Always."
For the first time all night, Leon saw Wes’s eyes fall shut. Because he was going to keep him safe. "Thank you."
"I love you. Which means that I'll always be here."
Leon meant every single word. He'll stay by Wes's side forever. He'll always be there for whatever Wes needed from him. Leon's love was unconditional, and now that they were in each other's lives, there's nothing that will drive him away.
He knows that Wes is willing to lay down his life for him. He hopes that at some point, Wes will be willing to live for him. And he wishes that at some point, Wes will be able to live for himself.
But that's a battle he'll have to face tomorrow. Right now, they were both exhausted, and they needed rest.
As Leon looked up at the sky, he had an idea. He slowly leaned backwards until his back was on the ground, with Wes sprawled out atop him. While he adjusted both of them to be more comfortable, he turned his head to address Charizard.
"Sparky, can you go pick up Espeon and Umbreon?"
Wes sighed. "Should probably apologize to the bastards for leavin' em down there."
"You can do that tomorrow, love."
He winced. "Tomorrow's gonna suck ass."
Leon chuckled a little. "Yeah, probably. But I'll be here to help."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
He watched Wes slowly succumb to sleep, his breathing evening out. Leon managed to wrangle the Pokemon so that Wes’s Espeon and Umbreon were cuddling them both and so that they were laying within Charizard's curled up form. Sensing that their trainer needed his sleep, Umbreon and Espeon didn't bother Wes, instead finding spots to curl up and snuggle.
After making sure everyone was comfortable, Leon turned his gaze up to the stars. He didn't often pray, but he prayed to Arceus to be kind to Wes. His Love deserved a good future, and he was determined to give it to him.
He drifted off with a selfish wish. I want to be able to show Wes what sex making love should truly feel like.
#desertsportshipping#trainer wes#wes pokemon#champion leon#leon pokemon#pokemon colosseum#pokemon sword and shield#we got a little more of the pokemon this time#also i will drop my hc that leon's mom is a nurse/doctor#so leon is fairly knowledgeable about medical stuff by osmosis#also some of leon's internal monologue is directly from mustard#plus early on when leon became champion#mustard stuck around him to make sure that leon was kept safe from creeps#wes did not have that person to keep him safe#actually he did it was gonzap#but at some point gonzap stopped#wonder why that happened :)
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👀 what if I was interested in that Gale poly rant but in a positive way?
LKSJFDLKFJGDFG i can't use the rant on you then because it would be too clinical and i would angry swear sometimes probably
but honestly like. first we need to talk about halsin . wait first we need to talk about poly as a sexuality
i'm going to try and not turn this into a massive character analysis or analysis of queer identity in media etc so i will attempt to retain my humour throughout to ground me
people who are poly tend to sit on either side of a coin. poly is a preferred state of relationship, or just a state of relationship they enjoy, and they can do just fine with monogamy, and everything is chill - ultimate relaxed person mode. the other side is the group of poly individuals who view poly as important to them and their sexual identity as being straight or gay or bisexual or pansexual or any other identity. for them it is part of the queer umbrella and it is fundamental to their being, they can't turn it off, they can't be ok with monogamy, this is who they are.
for reference, halsin is the latter. poly is part of his sexual identity.
halsins poly rep is, spoken from a poly person, ok. it is ok. it's not good, it's not bad. it's mostly the stuff around halsin i don't like. (and i am not going to talk about his drow situation, for reference, because that shit goes beyond poly rep.) making halsin token poly, for lack of a better word, would realistically be fine in most situations, in fact i've talked with aisling about this and i would have preferred they made him poly with no poly options in the game to go with him over what we got - we can't forget he was added late, he isn't as fleshed out, he feels a bit misplaced sometimes, and his poly goes hand in hand with that. he could have existed as a poly character, which nearly all wood elves are in canon, without shoving in some poly options for him with existing companions who would explore that with anyone else despite the game allowing you to romance those companions with the other companions if you play as them? and they flirt with each other in banter quite regularly? i don't know. it feels very like, o shit we gotta make him poly he's a wood elf! and he's a druid! but we have no options for him! who are the easiest to add without it feeling odd??? like idk. it doesn't feel great from a poly pov, and if you enjoy like halsin x shart x tav or halsin x astarion x tav that's totally cool - i am not dismissing these at all because i don't fucking care about canon so even if it didn't exist in canon in a way i don't really like, i would still be cool with it.
our poly rep leaves much to be desired, tldr.
i am happy it exists, however. and my hope is that one day in the future when we have an rpg where every romance option is bisexual or pansexual that they are also poly. that is my ultimate ideal for the future of these situations in gaming. i know some people are uncomfortable with poly, but that's why we refer to what i first said. you can have characters like halsin where it is fundamental to their being - they will never be monogamous, you cannot change them. but you can also have individuals who are cool with monogamy if you're not comfortable with polyamory. i want characters who will date each other on their own, and you can join the polycule, or get involved with just one of them. i want devs to be open minded and not give us a token polyamorous character and instead explore it in better ways.
i have known many poly people, i've dated poly people of both sides of the coin, i've been involved with people who are married to someone they don't live with but have nesting partners (a partner they live with who isn't their spouse) and multiple partners on the side and follow the hierarchy side of poly. my ex helped me understand poly as a sexuality and they also didn't subscribe to poly hierarchy and all their partners would be equal. poly is an expansive identity and it deserves the attention and respect other queer identities do.
a poly person creating poly ships and poly situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed monogamous is the same to me as a gay person creating gay ships and gay situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed straight. and that might be divisive, because many people, including queer people are not ready for or not comfortable with polyamory yet in their spaces. now i can be respectful of people who have trauma around polyamory because they were involved with someone who used it as a weapon - usually done by someone who isn't actually poly. but we as poly people deserve to take up space, we deserve to be in your media, we deserve respect, we deserve to be represented well.
and if video game devs aren't going to do that for me, you bet your ass i'm gonna do it for myself. no one can take that power for me.
what exists in my game doesn't have to mean shit for yours - it doesn't exist in yours. it is a thing i do for me to make me happy. if anyone gets upset about that they need to go outside.
please don't cast a witches curse on me
i might come back to edit this ... i haven't proof read it..... this was just screaming <3 i'm too tired to read my own words back
#fray.txt#ask#Anonymous#HEY I SAID I WOULD TRY TO KEEP MY HUMOUR UP AND SHIT BUT#I FAILED!!!!!!#I GOT SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#cannot quell my passions#if there is one thing my ex did for me that was good#it was help me see all sides of poly and the beauty of it#to love so openly and freely and willingly#it is so beautiful#and you bet your sweet ass i'm gonna throw that on my clown with all my might#because they deserve to love so easily#and gale accepts them for who they are#AND YOU BET YOUR ASS I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF SOMEONE DON'T LIKE THAT !!!!!!!!!!!#LEARN TO LOVE LOVE#AND LEARN TO STAY IN UR LANE!!!!!!!!!!!!#hehe........ i care about this topic <3
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🦇 The Pairing Book Review 🦇
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
❓ #QOTD If you could travel anywhere for the summer, where would you go? ❓ 🦇 Theo and Kit have been a lot of things: childhood best friends, crushes, in love, and now estranged exes. After a brutal breakup on the transatlantic flight to their dream European food and wine tour, they exited each other's lives once and for all. All that remains is the unused voucher for the European tour that never happened, good for 48 months after its original date and about to expire. It's not until they board the tour bus that they discover they've both accidentally had the exact same idea, and now they're trapped with each other for three weeks of stunning views, luscious flavors, and the most romantic cities of France, Spain, and Italy. Will it be too much, or a reminder that a small taste can make you crave what you can't have?
💜 Pairs well with: healing hearts long bottled up but aged well, a decadent glass of light-bodied wine with hints of cherry (memories of sweet syrup spilling down warm wrists on a hot summer's day), and a lover's kiss (their taste stained against your lips). I don't know what I was thinking, reading I Kissed Shara Wheeler, Red, White, & Royal Blue, then The Pairing all back to back in a rushed, heart-aching CMQ marathon for Pride Month, but WOAH does my heart hurt. The Pairing is the perfect rom-com summer read. This story will whisk you away on a tour of Europe, inviting you to feast on local cuisine until adjectives tantalize and taunt your tastebuds, soothing you like a rich glass of red (smooth and velvety, bursting with flavors of ripe plum, black cherry, and toasted cedar, sparking unfamiliar memories). If you adored Red, White, and Royal Blue (namely, the queer references and quotes pulled from history), the exploration of Europe's never-ending artistry and ageless anecdotes will no doubt tug at your heartstrings. Nevermind the detailed descriptors, the pristine explorations of pastries, pasta, wine, and wonder. Let's talk about Kit and Theo.
💜 CMQ does an outstanding job at Show, Don't Tell throughout the entire novel. Too often, there's a moment in second-chance romances, a piece of the past that broke a meant-to-be couple apart, that SO many novels reveal all too quickly. CMQ doesn't hinge the entire story on that reveal, nor is it unveiled too soon. Instead, we're given the chance to understand Theo and Kit's points of view, not about that ONE defining moment, but about everything; how they came to be, what their lives were becoming, the lost possibility. These two characters feel SO much, but those emotions are never defined with clear-cut words, forcing readers to accept those feelings. Emotions aren't so cut and dry, nor singular; they're a tangle, a messy knot of hurt and longing, love and betrayal. Instead, we experience them through glimpses of the past and present. We heal alongside them. I'm grateful the story focused on Theo's POV first, THEN switched to Kit's during a pivotal moment of their present. We experience Theo's still raw pain and self-doubt before delving into Theo's everlasting love and regret.
💜 I just, I CAN'T. I didn't last a single chapter without making a mess of annotations. I've lived a friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-back-to-lovers, second-chance romance. I know that feeling of one person being your everything, regardless of time and distance. CMQ captures it fully.
💙 My only hang-up: this story relies on the miscommunication trope to survive, not only in the present, but the past that broke Theo and Kit apart in the first place. The execution is flawless, though, giving it realistic reasoning instead of simply using it as a plot piece. I'd also like to point out that the description you read online, regarding the hookup competition, is hardly the story's real focus. It's like the garnish for an already sublime cocktail. You can do without.
🦇 Recommended for fans of Jandy Nelson, 13 Little Blue Envelopes, and all things CMQ.
✨ The Vibes ✨ 🍷 Bi4Bi 🥐 Queer Romance 🍷 Europe Tour 🥐 Second Chance Romance 🍷 Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers 🥐 Dual POV 🍷 Food, Wine, History, Art, Culture
🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #ThePairing
💬 Quotes ❝ The problem is, we’ve only ever been everything or nothing to each other. I don’t know how to start being something to him. ❞ ❝ It’s not just that I want him. It’s that he taught me what wanting was. ❞ ❝ I wonder if anyone else in the whole blackberry-jam galaxy has ever loved someone so much that it made their soul feel fixed in their body. ❞ ❝ An expression of delighted awe dawns on Theo’s face, and in it I see layer after layer, old self after intermediate self after current self, the Theo I met as a child and the Theo I got to call mine and the Theo who fills her own body. They’re all here, hanging in the air, harmonizing with one another. Maybe they’re always here. Maybe she feels so familiar and so new to me now because I’d heard the beginning note but not the completed chord. I knew her before her arches had points, before the paint to finish her had been invented. What a wonder, what a miracle: somehow, more of her. ❞ ❝ My favorite parts of me are the ones that Theo brings out, the ones that grew to match theirs. ❞ ❝ I could love that ongoing, extant Theo again. There’s so much romance in that, so much beauty in learning how much my heart can endure. Sometimes I think the only way to keep something forever is to lose it and let it haunt you. ❞ ❝ If I can give my whole heart to love without fearing the cost, I will regret nothing. ❞
#books#queer books#queer romance#romance novels#queer fiction#book lovers#book: the pairing#author: casey mcquiston#book reviews#queer book review#book review#friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#friends to enemies#childhood friends#bi books#bisexual romance#bisexual visibility#bisexual pride#bisexuality#second chance romance#dual pov#batty about books#battyaboutbooks
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kiis relationship analysis
disclaimer: this isn't analysis of them in canon, just some thoughts on my own fic Truth or Drink: Exes edition, ft. Isagi Yoichi & Michael Kaiser that got too long to put in the notes lol
The break up scene brings up three issues to light.
For one, Isagi ties his self worth to what the media thinks of him as a player. Nearly all the Blue Lock players like him, so it makes sense for Isagi as a character to essentially be used to being liked. Yet Post-Blue Lock, realistically, Isagi as a player would receive a lot of shit for essentially being born out of a reality show, and it would make sense that he’d be held to a higher standard than other players. And with that, it nearly results in something adjacent to internalized homophobia, thinking that anything and everything would be a threat to his career, including his relationship. Back in the first chapter, during the Truth or Drink segment, he expresses apathy about keeping track of his socials, not even having Twitter. After the four years, it’s clear he no longer ties his self worth to how good of a player the media thinks he is, leaving him more energy to focus on more important things, such as his, cough cough, relationships.
Kaiser’s apathy is another issue. Since he was introduced, he’s always been a cocky character, always needing to seem cool and collected and never “real”. From Isagi’s point of view, seeing Kaiser still be apathetic and uncaring about everything a year into their relationship would wear on him. The issue of Isagi and the article is something important to him, and Kaiser still doesn’t care. After the four years, however, he’s more okay about being vulnerable in front of Isagi, and he’s empathetic enough to worry about whether people were watching, not for his own image, but for Isagi’s.
And finally, Kaiser’s need to be loved. Tying in with the last point, Kaiser tries hard not to care that not many people, including teammates and the media, actually like him, but I really feel like there's no way that wouldn’t grate on someone. And seeing (from Kaiser’s POV) Isagi so blatantly worry about “a few” people critiquing him while nearly everyone else loves him would make him bitter, and honestly a little jealous. During the Truth or Drink Segment, where Kaiser and Isagi have been toeing the line of “what’s okay” for the entire segment, hearing the answer to whether Isagi still loves him would have sent Kaiser over the edge. Which is why, during the reconciliation scene, Isagi stresses how much he does love him.
and thats all folks hope you enjoyed
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